#going back and updating everyone with new skin details and such

[buglaur]

raffy!!!!!

[ramons-elevator]

Fuck it. Appreciation Post for the amazing QSMP admins.

Heres a list of just a small bit of the amazing shit that they did on/for the QSMP and its players:

Made a huge prison/event for Pac e Mike which later turned into a job for Fit for his lore

Helping Foolish out with his Titan by raising it up, lighting it up, and even making sure the brightness of the light blocks where okay for him

Listening to Fit and Phil the day the task was "Make a grappling squawk" and made it interesting with Walter Bob delivering the news

Making Gegg a reality and letting him run for president

Every event is so cool no matter how big or small. The dungeons the The Jaidens did was so fun and interesting. Every new players event is always chaos but very detailed. Even making stuff for French Independence day and the 4th of July so people could experience each other's cultures.

The amazing wedding cake and rings for Cellbit and Roier's wedding

Helping Tazercraft with the Hide and Seek Arena and making the code so they can actually play hide and seek easier

Giving Charlie, Roier, and Max (idk if theres more) key binds so they easily switch their skins and their names in game

The little jokes/ nods to stuff that happens on the server. Like the day after Missa came back and failed a water bucket clutch, they made one of the tasks "Have a water bucket competition".

Them elaborating on stuff that happens on the server. For instance, Bad putting up mini bulletin board at spawn so they keep everyone updated. So the admins started putting the newspaper there so people could see and be updated.

Philza found an insane mob that basically soft locked your game and Phil messaged the admins telling them that information, to which they immediately disabled the mob.

The side NPCs that everyone fall in love with them. From Walter Bob, a random admin who they let the players create a story and love for, to the Capybaras, which are basically the admins having fun but turned into them having their own lore.

The insane enigmas they make for Cellbit and the story it tells. They make the puzzles very detailed and sometimes can hint to other stories.

Fucking making Felps a new member

Making a button so people like Cellbit who frequently switch between Portuguese and English dont have to constant fiddle with the settings and can just switch easily

The fucking insane shit they do with Max and his story is so cool. From what Ive seen, they give him so much room and freedom to make what he wants. Im always so impressed by whatever Max does and the things he does with this server.

They make sure everyone's lore/story is seen/heard and also try to connect the lore together. From what I have seen, nothing is half assed. Cellbit finding books about a powerful weapon? It is used to trap Pac and Etoiles had to go through the nether to get the shield to counter the sword.

Lastly, just listening to the members and hearing their concerns while also letting them having fun. They joke with the members/audience, but also hearing them out when they think something is unjustified.

The admins care so much for this server and put so much work and love for it. I hope they know it never goes unappreciated or looked over.

[redrose10]

Yoongi x Female Reader. Soulmate AU

Summary: There’s no one on this planet you hate more than your coworker/secret crush Min Yoongi. He’s an arrogant, rude, womanizer who gets under your skin every single shift and you can’t wait for your day to be over so you can get away from him. Unfortunately when Jimin, your caseworker from The Ministry of Adoration, shows up offering you both a raspberry jam filled cookie, things take a surprising turn for the worst and you can no longer get away.

Warnings: Swearing, hints of smut (nothing graphic or really detailed), mentions of death, a little angst, Yoongi gets around. Might get updated later

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1-Coffee and Cookies

Word count: 4,268

“I hate him.,” you mumbled leaning on the counter of Perks Perkup Cafe where you were currently employed.

“He’s really not THAT bad.”, your best friend and coworker Mina replied.

“No he really is. He’s arrogant, he’s rude, he thinks he’s soooooo much better than everyone just because he had one song go kind of viral. He’s late like everyday and never gets reprimanded because Mrs.Perk has some weird disgusting crush on him. I just want to wipe that stupid smirk right off his face.”

Mina rolled her eyes, “He’s also charismatic, charming, funny, nice when he wants to be, a good salesman, easily one of the hottest guys on the planet, aaannnddd even you downloaded that one song.”

With a huff knowing she was right you took a sip of water just as your other coworker and archenemy Yoongi finished up with a customer who was happily sliding her number across the counter to him.

“Great here comes the demon kitty now.”, you groaned.

“Shhh, if he ever hears you call him that he really will give you reasons to hate him.”, she chuckled.

“Ladies,” he winked before heading to the back office.

Truth be told you might’ve had a teensy tiny not really that small crush on Yoongi ever since he accidentally spilled a latte on your shoes during his first month of work over a year ago and then profusely apologized with red tinted cheeks before offering to buy you a new pair and dinner on top of it.

An emergency came up and you weren’t able to make it to the dinner but you’d hoped to be able to reschedule. Unfortunately he never gave you that chance because after that night the shy sweet blonde turned into a menace, showing up late, always begging to leave early, never cleaning or prepping, and spending most of his time getting different girls numbers. He was rude to you. Always calling you a prude or making hurtful comments. He tried to get under your skin any chance he got.

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt every time you saw him shamelessly flirt in front of you or loudly tell your other coworker Namjoon about all of his random one night stands. At this point you weren’t sure if you hated him because of who he was and how he treated you or simply because he wasn’t yours. But that was a secret you’d take to your grave. You made hating Yoongi part of your personality and in no way would you let that go.

The rest of your shift went relatively smoothly. You and Mina kicked ass while Yoongi sat in the office only coming out if he sensed there was a pretty girl in the building.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay? I don’t mind getting there a little late.”, Mina checked with you one more time.

“No it’s okay. The busy hours are done with so we shouldn’t get more than a customer or two at a time. I can handle it. Go celebrate your brothers birthday.”

With a smile she bounced out the door leaving you to spend the final hours before closing with Yoongi.

Unfortunately for you your one or two customers at a time remark came back to bite you thanks to a high school graduation happening a block over from the cafe.

You stared at the line of people all looking back at you with agitation as you tried your best to take orders and make orders and cash out while still trying to smile. You went to the back looking for Yoongi, but he was nowhere in sight so you took a deep breath to collect yourself and returned back to the front greeting the next customer in line.

Just as you were adding the whipped cream to the top of some girls cup of sugar with a splash of coffee you heard the back door swing open.

“Jesus Y/N, why didn’t you come get me?”, Yoongi asked hurriedly tying his apron behind his back.

“I tried but you were no where to be found. But of course you would show up when there’s a pretty girl involved.”, you spat back handing the girl her drink while trying to ignore her giving puppy dog eyes to Yoongi.

Without responding he headed to the register to take a few more orders before helping you knock out a few of the drinks that were built up. It took about 35 minutes but the two of you were able to get everything caught up.

Throwing a towel down on the counter you wiped some of the sweat off of your forehead really regretting not taking that job at the ice cream parlor instead.

“Here have some cold water.”, Yoongi said handing you a bottle.

“No thanks. I don’t need your pity water.”

“Oh my God Y/N, I’m just trying to give you some water. Why does everything have to be a fight with you?”

“Maybe because I’m tired of having to pick up your slack.”

“Well maybe I’m tired of your bitchy attitude.”,

“Yeah well maybe I’m-“

Before you could finish the sentence someone on the other side of the counter cleared their throat.

“I am so sorry. How can I hel-“

Your fear of upsetting a customer turned to joy when you spotted one of your favorite regulars, Jimin. He had been coming into the cafe for a few weeks and you always enjoyed it. He was personable and friendly. Not to mention very handsome. He’d come in and order a large iced mocha and occasionally a slice of banana bread, make a little small talk and then quietly work in the corner. Judging by his tailored designer suits and briefcase you figured he probably worked for one of the various law firms that surrounded the cafe.

“Hey Jimin, how are you doing today?”, you asked immediately perking up.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Yoongi mocking your excitement, but chose to ignore it for now and focus on Jimin instead.

“Hi Y/N. Just the usual today.”, he smiled back.

“Of course!”, you said while ringing up his iced mocha.

Yoongi got to work on the drink while you handed Jimin his change.

“So things not getting any better between the two of you?”, he asked putting away his wallet.

You scoffed, “Not even close.”

“I see. Well that’s not good. We’ll have to work on that.”, he said taking the drink that Yoongi had quietly sat down on the counter before returning to the back to start the closing process.

Jimin thanked you with a wink before taking his usual seat. His words still playing in your head.

As you were scrubbing away at one of the machines you heard the door chimes ring signaling someone was entering the building. You turned to greet who would hopefully be your last customer of the day.

“Oh Yooonnnggiiii”, you heard a sickeningly sweet high pitched voice.

“Ugghh”, you rolled your eyes recognizing the woman. She was one of Yoongi’s regular hookups. Rose or Lilly. Maybe Violet. You weren’t really sure what her name was and didn’t care enough to ask.

She was desperately in love with him and would drop to her knees faster that he could say suck. You almost felt bad for her knowing that he was only using her as a last resort when he couldn’t find anything better.

Yoongi came walking out of the back office smirking as you made a gagging motion.

“Seriously? You couldn’t wait fifteen minutes to set up a booty call?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Hey, she offered and who am I to say no?”

It didn’t take long for you to watch him grab her hand and pull her towards the bathroom as she giggled. Your stomach twisted in disgust, but your heart broke at the sight.

He must’ve had an off night or one of the best experiences of his life because it was less than seven minutes later that he came walking back behind the counter with flushed cheeks and you saw the woman embarrassedly heading towards the door with tousled hair and running mascara.

You busied yourself by scrubbing away at a coffee stain on the counter that had been there since before you started so you knew it was useless, but you just wanted to avoid any interaction with him that you could.

You jumped when you heard someone clear their throat not expecting another customer five minutes before closing time.

“I uh I finished all the dishes.”, Yoongi said not making eye contact.

“Okay? Do you want a cookie?”

“Wow Y/N.”

“Well it’s part of your job Yoongi. I don’t need you to walk me through it.”

“I know that Y/N. I just wanted to let you know so that you didn’t go back there to do it.”

“Yeah well while you’re at it why don’t you go disinfect the bathroom too.”

“Sorry no one has ever been so desperate to get in your pants.”

“Oh go fuck yourself Yoongi.”

“Don’t have to. I have people for that.”, he smirked.

“I hate y-“

“Hi guys!”

You jumped at the peppy voice coming from across the counter before feeling an immediate sense of relief.

“Hey Jimin.”, you smiled as Yoongi rolled his eyes.

“Hi Y/N”, he smiled back.

“How about a cookie?”

“I’m sorry what?”, you chuckled at his odd question.

“Here”, he said sliding over two raspberry jam filled cookies.

“Oh no thank you Jimin. I’m not much of a jam person.”, you politely declined.

“I stayed up all night baking these. I’d really love to get your opinions. I’m calling them Raspberry Romances.”

Thanks to the deep pout he was giving you and the way his eyes twinkled you couldnt say no a second time so you grabbed the cookie popping it in your mouth in one go.

“Mmm actually not bad.”, you said trying to keep the crumbs from falling out.

Jimin smiled before sliding the other cookie closer to Yoongi.

“No thanks. My parents taught me to never take candy from strangers and I’m pretty sure that applies to cookies too.”, he shook his head.

“Come on Yoongi. Jimin isn’t a stranger and would it kill you to not be an exhausting asshole for two minutes of your life?”

Letting out a long sigh of defeat he reached for the cookie popping it in his mouth, “Its okay. Name needs work though. Sounds like something a Girl Scout would sell.”

You rolled your eyes at his attempt to fake disinterest.

“Great! Thank you guys so much.”, Jimin clapped his hands together.

“So what got you into baking all of a sudden?”, you asked trying to make small talk and avoid Yoongi’s glare.

“Oh just a new hobby I guess.”

“Pfft I’m gonna go lockup so we don’t get any more customers trying to poison us with random cookies.”, Yoongi said walking towards the door.

You shook your head, “Ignore him. You’re welcome to bring any of your creations for me to try any time.”

Jimin smiled as he watched Yoongi round the counter. As Yoongi walked closer and closer to the door you felt an odd sensation in your chest. It got tighter and tighter the farther Yoongi walked away from you until it felt like you had been stabbed in the heart with a burning knife.

“Ahh call and ambulance. I think I’m having a heart attack.”, you cried doubling over in pain.

“Nope! No heart attack.”, Jimin said a little too cheerily given the situation.

You looked up noticing he was pointing towards the door where you saw Yoongi doubling over gripping his chest just like you, “What the fuck? I’m too young for this shit.”, he cried.

Instinctually you ran over to check on him forgetting about your own troubles. As soon as you got within a few feet of him though you immediately started feeling better. Yoongi did too as he was able to catch his breath and stand up straight.

“Oh I’m so glad it worked! And so quickly too!”, Jimin excitedly bounced watching this all unfold.

“So glad what worked?”, you asked turning to look at him.

“The cookies I gave you.”

“So you did poison us. I knew it!”, Yoongi exclaimed walking forward.

“No no no, let me properly introduce myself. My name is Park Jimin and I am your case worker.”

“I’m sorry what? Our case worker?”

Jimin nodded, “Yes, your case worker. I work for the broken souls department.”

“Great. It’s worse than poisoning us. He drugged us.”, Yoongi dramatically waved his arms around.

“I did no such thing.”, Jimin responded offended.

“Please explain what’s going on in detail.”, you said trying to diffuse the situation.

“Right. So I work for The Ministry of Adoration in the souls department. We’re divided into three different sections, Complete Souls, Broken Souls, and Lost Souls.”

“Oh my god. That’s it. I’ve died and gone to hell. I am in hell right now.”, Yoongi groaned from next to you.

“Shut up and quit being so dramatic.”, you hissed before turning back to Jimin, “Maybe start the explanation from the beginning.”

With a loud sigh he continued, “Everyone is born with 50% of their soul. Someone else in the world is born with the other 50%.”

“Oh like soulmates!”, you exclaimed.

He smiled, “Yes exactly Y/N! And it’s everyone’s destiny to find their soulmate to complete their fulfillment and bring the souls together. Most of the time the two souls are compatible and get along smoothly with no issues. Sometimes though they need a little help to move along and their cases are then sent to my department hence the broken souls.”

“Okay and what the fuck does this have to do with Y/N and I? Why did we feel like we were dying a few minutes ago?”, Yoongi spat.

“Well you and Y/N are soulmates.”

You and Yoongi both let out a deep laugh at the same time. “No we’re not.”, you quipped.

“Yeah we hate each other.”, Yoongi added.

Jimin nodded in agreement, “Yes which is why I’m here. I’ve been watching you two for several weeks now hoping you’d work it out on your own and I wouldn’t have to step in but after your little argument today I knew my help was needed.”

You couldn’t believe your ears. Maybe Yoongi was right and you both really were poisoned by a handsome guy in a Gucci suit.

Jimin continued, “The cookie I gave you was a new prototype that we’re working on. Normally we’d just lock you two together with some handcuffs and call it a day. But with this cookie it gives you a little more wiggle room and will hopefully make the experience more enjoyable therefore having a higher success rate. Thanks to the cookies the two of you can’t be more than five feet away from each other or you’ll feel that little pain in your chest. A heartbreak if you will.”

“Why are you doing this?”, you asked.

“Well you and Yoongi are running out of time to become compatible and fall in love. Once your souls run out of life they disappear forcing you both to then turn to the lost souls department lead by my coworker Jin where you’ll be subjected to an eternity of loneliness and despair and not to mention countless unfunny dad jokes. And trust me, you DON’T want that to happen. Which is why I gave you two the cookies. It’ll force you to have to spend time together and get to know each other and hopefully that gives you both the little nudge you need to finally let Cupid in with his little arrows of love.”

“I know someone I’d like to shoot with an arrow right now.”, Yoongi spat.

Ignoring him you asked, “So what happens if we don’t fall in love?”

“Welllll, you have three weeks from today to share true loves kiss.”

Yoongi went to speak but Jimin quickly cut him off, “And no you can’t fake it and just kiss. We’ll know whether it’t true love or not.”

Yoongi sat down in huff and you continued, “Okay and what happens if we don’t kiss?”

“After the three weeks, if no true love kiss has happened, then your soulmate bond will be broken. And then the two of you will have to decide whose soul you want to continue unscathed and who you want to be sent down to the lost souls department. It not a the best situation but at least this way we can save one of you instead of loosing both.”

“Wow un-fucking-believable.”, Yoongi muttered beside you. You were speechless.

“Well I think that was enough excitement for one night. Remember not to stray too far away from each other.”, Jimin said walking towards the door.

“Wait what if we have questions? Or something else happens?”, you panicked.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be around when you need me.”

And with that he walked out the door letting it slowly shut behind him.

“What are we going to do?”, you asked turning to Yoongi.

“I’m gonna go grab my shit and go home.”, he said walking towards the back. Hastily you followed after him not wanting to stray too far. He grabbed his things and headed towards the door with you on his heels.

“Y/N, stay here. None of this is real. I don’t need you following me around like a lost puppy all the time.”, he said before slamming the door in your face.

It only took a few seconds for the pain in your chest to return causing you to double over. Thankfully it quickly disappeared when Yoongi returned out of breath clearly having experienced the same.

He grabbed your hand pulling you with him, “Come on. We’ll stay at your place. We just need to stop at mine and grab a few things.”

“Umm excuse me? Why do we have to stay at mine?”

He sighed, “Because I live with two other roommates who will never stop giving me shit about this and you live alone.”

“Okay. Fair point.” You didn’t exactly want to have to live with all these random people anyways.

His apartment was pretty close thankfully and much nicer than you expected. As soon as he opened the door you were surprised to see everything clean and organized. A faint scent of cinnamon and vanilla hung in the air. His two roommates were on the couch watching a movie.

“There you are! We were wondering when you’d get home.”, one of them exclaimed.

“Of course you were late because you had to find a friend for the night. At least she’s way prettier than your usual catches.”, the other spoke. His comment making you blush slightly.

Yoongi grabbed your hand beginning to pull you down the hall when one of the guys spoke up, “Hey aren’t you gonna introduce us?”

“Yeah don’t be so rude Yoongi?”, you spoke trying to poke a little fun at him sensing his irritation.

“Oh for fucks sake.”, he grumbled before pulling you into the living room.

“Y/N, these are my roommates. This is Jungkook and that one is Hoseok. This is Y/N.”

You politely smiled and waved at the two men who seemed much nicer and friendlier than Yoongi.

“Great. Everyone is pointlessly introduced and I have things to take care of.”, he said pulling you back down the hall.

“Don’t forget to use protection.”, Jungkook shouted after you eliciting a giggle.

Yoongi motioned for you to take a seat on his bed, “I’m just gonna grab some clothes and my laptop.”

You shook your head, “No thanks. I know what you do on that bed.”

“The only thing I do there is sleep. I never bring girls back here.”

“Why not? Don’t you want to be comfortable instead of always hooking up in a car or random bathroom?”

“I don’t know. It just feels too personal if I bring them here. You know into my space. I only save that for people I actually care about.”

You didn’t think he was capable of having feelings like that and then it hit you.

You smirked, “So you care about me? I mean you did let me into your personal space after all.”

“Don’t think too much into it. I just didn’t want to be doubled over in pain while I packed.”, he rolled his eyes before turning away so you couldn’t see the blush forming on his cheeks.

Once he had all his things packed you both snuck past Hoseok and Jungkook who were too busy fighting over the last piece of pizza to notice you anyways.

Swinging the door open to your apartment you suddenly felt really self conscious. It had been several months since you had a guy over and the fact that the guy next to you was Yoongi didn’t make it any easier.

Conveniently you heard him chuckle from behind you.

“What is it Yoongi?”

“Nothing. Your place is cute.”

You rolled your eyes before walking further into the living room.

“I’ll get you some blankets and a pillow. You can have the couch.”, you said motioning to the corner of the room.

“Umm yeah that’s not gonna work.”

“Well make it work because I am not sharing a bed with you.”

“Alright fine. I’ll take the couch and you can sleep in your bed and we’ll both be in excruciating pain all night because you peer pressured me into eating a cookie from some demonic Betty Crocker wannabe.”

You closed your eyes internally smacking yourself for forgetting the whole reason you were stuck with Yoongi to begin with.

“Fine. We’ll share my bed. But no funny business.”, you huffed past him.

“Wouldn’t dream about it babes.”

“Could you please hurry up. I’d love to get to sleep at some point tonight.”, Yoongi groaned.

“Almost done. Just rinsing off.”, you said. The large size of your bathroom was the main reason you chose this apartment but you were really regretting it in this moment. You tested it and Yoongi standing outside the door was just too far away so you both agreed to stay in the bathroom together as you showered and did your nightly routines. Shutting off the water you peaked around the curtain to make sure he was still staring at the wall.

“Okay I’m coming out now. Don’t turn around.”

“Y/N I’m not going to look if you don’t want me to. Just please hurry the fuck up.”, he spat clearly getting cranky.

Quickly you dried yourself off before getting your pajamas on.

“Okay”

“Can I turn around now?”

“Yeah sure.”

Your mind was probably playing tricks on you but you swore you saw a hint of red running down his neck.

“Hey tomorrow I nee- Oh my God Yoongi.”, you exclaimed bringing your hands over your eyes before turning around. “Seriously? You couldn’t warn me that you were just gonna strip naked.”

“I’m getting in the shower. Of course I’m gonna be naked. And I promised I wouldn’t look at you. I don’t care if you look at me. Plus I know you’ve been dying to catch a glimpse of all this.”

“Oh please don’t think so highly of yourself.”

Thankfully his shower was quick and he was dried off and changed within minutes.

Your bed was small forcing the two of you to lay shoulder to shoulder.

“Can I ask you a question?”, you spoke breaking the silence.

“Sure.”

“Why do you have a tattoo of a cookie with a smirk on your butt cheek?”

“You were checking out my butt weren’t you?”, he laughed.

“Answer the question.”

“His name is Shooky. It was something I had drawn one day and then after a few too many drinks one of my friends dared me to get it as a tattoo.”

“And you thought your butt was the best location?”

“You don’t even want to know where Jungkook got a tattoo of the pink bunny he drew.”

“He didn’t.”, you gasped.

“He did. He calls it Cooky on a coc-“

“Okay that’s enough.”, you stopped him before he could go any further. He laughed before letting the room fall into a semi awkward silence.

“You still awake?”, he asked after several minutes.

“Mmmhmm.”

“Well I just remembered that my brothers wedding is this weekend so uh I guess you’re gonna have to be my date.”, he said barely above a whisper.

“Okay. It’s not like we have a choice anyways.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

You both laid there in silence for a while but you could tell neither of you were close to falling asleep.

“Hey Yoongi?”, you asked.

“Yeah?”

“I’m scared.”

“Don’t be. We’ll figure something out. Besides we both know I’ll be the one who walks away from this anyways.”

You rolled your eyes before turning away from him. You should’ve known better than to look to him for comfort.

Yoongi laid awake staring at the ceiling while sneaking little peaks at you.

The truth was he was scared too, but he’d never let you know that. Scared of what might happen. Scared of what might not happen. Scared of the fact that he has loved you since the minute you introduced yourself to him at he cafe even though you’ve never reciprocated the feeling. Scared you’ll find out that he’s only a jerk to you as a defense mechanism to hide his true feelings.

He was most scared because he knew at some point the truth was going to come out.

[99hook]

Casual

“Casual. You throw that word around a lot, but at this point, I don’t even think you know what it means.”

18+

There was a comfortable silence that tended to take over whenever the two of you ran out of things to talk about, but it was never awkward or tense.

He was sitting next to you on your couch, stuffing some Japanese food in his mouth while you sifted through your rice to find pieces still doused in sauce.

“So you’re staying the night?” You asked, glancing up from your to-go plate to see if he made any sort of notable reaction.

He didn’t. He simply nodded, eyes still focused on his food, “Mhm” he hummed, then looked over at you. “Unless you don’t want me to.” He added with a crooked smirk.

“I mean, as long as you don’t take up all the hot water again, I don’t care.” You teased, half meaning it.

“Guess you’ll be showering with me then.”

His dimple deepened with that lopsided smirk that seemed to be contagious. You looked down to hide your blush, but he noticed it.

You heard him set his plate down on the coffee table and felt the shift in the cushions when he slid closer to you. His arm snaked around your shoulder, and you closed your box and placed it next to his.

Leaning back, you snuggled closer to him, bringing your legs up to drape across his lap, and he instinctively started running his fingers down them.

“Update me. I know you want to.” He smirks as he rests his head back against the cushion, looking down at you with eyes desperate for sleep, but refusing to waste this time.

“Let me think.” You sighed. It’s been close to a month since the last time you saw each other, and you were sure a lot has happened since then, but your mind was too preoccupied by the feel of his fingertips slowly roaming up and down your leg.

He saw the thoughtful expression and tried to jog your memory for you, reverting back to the texts and phone calls you’d exchanged over the last month. Shortened details of bigger stories he was curious to learn in person.

“Work? Your asshole boss? Coworkers still suck?” He listed off, earning a chuckle from you.

“Oh yeah, nothing new there. Everyone still sucks and I’m still ready to leave that place. I’m pretty sure my boss is the devil incarnated and my coworkers are his spawns.”

“And you’re just an angel, huh?” He smirked. You could hear the sarcasm dripping in his voice and rolled your eyes.

“Never said that.”

“Nah but from what you’ve told me, they all sound pretty shitty. Except that one girl. I forget her name but whoever the one is that helps you out a lot.”

“Kelsey.” You nod. “Yeah, I love her. Everyone else, not so much.”

He nods slowly. He’s genuinely listening, but his eyes are also roaming over every inch of your face. In truth, he’s just admiring you, but it always makes you feel a little self conscious.

When you can’t hold his gaze, you look down at your hand resting against his chest.

“You always do that.” He says before you feel his finger curl beneath your chin, lifting your gaze back to his. “Why?”

“Why what?” You tried to play dumb, but the look he shot told you that he knew you that was bullshit.

“Well, you stare at me a lot.” You shrug.

“You’re beautiful.” He easily retorts.

You felt the heat creeping up to your cheeks. You were sure he could plainly see the velvet shades casting over your skin from the simple compliment.

It was always like this. He made you feel every emotion in the book, even though none of it was ever meant to form into anything more than what it was.

Casual. That’s what you both labeled it the first time you emerged from the post-orgasm daze and had to figure out what you were doing in the first place before he had to be somewhere else.

It was an easily understood title. Basically like no strings attached, or at least that’s what you concluded. Situationship sounded a little better to you, but with that there was an indication that there was the possibility of a future relationship, and with this, you knew there wasn’t.

“You’re a charmer by nature.” You rolled your eyes, and he was unfazed by that.

“Don’t you like it when I compliment you?” He asked genuinely. You could tell it was a serious question by the way his brows knitted together slightly.

You liked it, yeah. The feelings that erupted from it? No.

“I like it when you shut up and kiss me.” You retaliated. It was a defense mechanism on your part. You just wanted to feel like you had some sort of control here, because Tyler seemed to be ever so collected inside and out.

You on the other hand, spent hours upon hours each night trying to fight back the feelings you got when he did something as simple as send you a heart emoji.

But he didn’t object. He let out a small chuckle and you felt the vibration underneath your palm, just before he leaned in and pressed his lips softly to yours.

The smell of his cologne overtook your senses first. A scent that lingers on your pillows weeks after he’s gone. You felt like you could pinpoint it anywhere, and just know it as him.

One of his hands cups your cheek while the other slowly slides higher up your thigh. You feel the neediness for him begin to take hold somewhere deep within. Somewhere only he could ever reach.

You feel yourself slowly reclining back against the cushions, and him shifting smoothly until he’s laying between your thighs.

“Take this off.” You breathe between leisure kisses, tugging at his shirt. You felt him smirk against your lips before he breaks the kiss to grab the end of the shirt with his free hand, easily pulling it over his head and discarding it somewhere on the living room floor.

Your eyes trail down to his chest. Something about it always gains your attention. Whether it’s the sculpted muscles that you loved to feel beneath your hands, or the tattoos you loved to trace with your fingertips.

He watches as you run your palms from his chest to his torso, and then hooking two fingers in the hem of his sweatpants.

“These too.” You say, tugging at them.

“Yes ma’am.” He obliges before he gets on his knees and slides them down.

You take that time to pull your shirt and shorts off. He keeps his eyes on you, watching your every move with an insatiable hunger he couldn’t hide for the life of him.

When you’re left in just your bra, he stops you before you can unlatch it yourself. His lips find your neck as his fingers work on the clasp until you feel the straps loosen and slide down your arms.

He pulls them down the rest of the way and tosses your bra somewhere amongst the rest of your discarded clothes, before he grabs your hips and pulls you back down so that you’re laying beneath him again.

You instinctively spread your thighs for him, glancing down at the gap between your bodies that’s soon to be closed like you want.

“Ready?” He always asks. His eyes glance up at your face, and you can see that he’s doing his best to be slow and patient, but he’s dying for more.

You nod immediately, twisting the ends of his hair with your fingertips as you eagerly pull him down to your lips.

The kiss a few minutes ago was just a build up. Slow, leisure and delicate. This one was full of desire, anticipation, the eagerness neither of you could hide if you wanted to.

In the midst of it, you felt him completely fill you. Stretching you to your limits in a way that had become the only thing you’ve ever been truly addicted to.

A sharp gasp escaped your lips and a deep, guttural groan ripped through his chest. He held himself still for a couple of seconds, until he felt you relaxing around him.

Slowly, he pulls almost all the way out, and slowly; he pushes back into you again. It stays like this until you can’t take it anymore, and a smirk slips across his lips when you start to thrust your hips up in a desperate attempt for more.

He doesn’t object, though. Truthfully, he may be on top but he’s following your lead. Whatever you want, however you want it, that’s what he wants. It might be taking every last ounce of strength within him to keep things slow and steady, but if that’s how you want it then he’ll do it all night long.

But thankfully he picked up on the cues your body was giving and he could finally pick up the pace.

When you felt his hand tightly grip your hip and pin you in place, you knew what you were in for.

He leaned up some, the ends of his hair fluttering against your cheek as his hot, short breaths lingered against your skin. You felt him sneak a few delicate kisses against your jaw but you had to act like it never happened, or else that’s all you’d be thinking about for the next month.

His name effortlessly flew past your lips when he relentlessly crashed into you, hard, fast and unforgiving, just like the first time when he was obviously trying to prove to you that he was good in bed.

Your nails dug into his back as he repeatedly hit that one special spot that in truth, only he ever did before.

You couldn’t contain the high moans, the wildly breathy gasps and whimpers that spilled out of you with every thrust of his hips.

He was in the same boat, though. You know you heard him muttering a multitude of fucks and goddamns.

His fingers tangled up in your hair as he rocked into you. You could hardly hold on at this point, even though you wanted this to last as long as humanly possible. It was impossible.

He knew you were close when you wrapped your legs tightly around him, and the sounds you made got a hell of a lot higher than before.

He coaxed you silently. Using his lips in one way instead of another.

He latched them to your neck, boldly sucking a spot that he realized after the first time, must’ve been a weakness for you.

He felt pride swelling in his chest at the sound of you coming completely and utterly undone. Just the way your back arched and your breasts pressed against his chest was enough for him, but he was holding back waiting for you.

His teeth gently scraped your skin, but it was enough to send shivers skating rapidly down your spine. You couldn’t control it, even if you wanted to.

Within moments, that warm sensation that was begging to run wild through your body, finally got the permission to do it.

You came with a relieved, blissful gasp that morphed into a drawn out moan, and his low groans and raspily muttered curses intermingled in the air.

Breathless and utterly spent, the two of you laid on that couch for at least ten minutes before he finally pulled out of you.

The second he got up, the sweat that smeared your skin didn’t mix well with the room temperature, and a chill shot through you.

Tyler grabbed your clothes first. They were inside out, so he fixed them before he handed them to you.

You watched as he slid on his sweatpants and draped his shirt over his shoulder, sitting back down next to you.

You hadn’t put your clothes back on, instead just let them lay in your lap as you stared down at them.

“What’s wrong?” He asks after a moment. You shake your head, but you don’t look at him.

Again, his finger hooks underneath your chin and raises your gaze so that you’re matched with his. Something that always gives you butterflies, but you won’t tell him that.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

You wanted to say it, but not as much as you didn’t want to ruin everything the two of you had. You knew from the beginning that this was casual. You knew it and you had no right to feel some type of way about it now.

The heart was just stupid sometimes, you realized that when just the feel of his shoulder brushing against yours could make your stomach erupt with butterflies.

“Nothing.” You lied again. “Wanna shower with me?”

He eyed you for a moment. He knew you weren’t being honest but he also suspected why, and it was a conversation he knew he wanted to have, but he always second guessed if it was the right time to have it.

He contemplated pressing the subject, but the risk that came along with that kept his mouth shut. Instead, he just nodded and got up from the couch, extending his hand for you to take, and lead you through your room where the bathroom was.

He started the water, and as his back was turned, you took a moment to study yourself in the mirror.

The purple marks he left on your neck would be there for a while. Of course you needed to cover them up for work but you didn’t mind them as much as you would if anyone else were to leave them on you.

Your lips were puffy and a little swollen, and they were tender to the touch, but you liked it.

You could faintly see the redness that his fingerprints left on your hip, and that’s when his hand snaked around your stomach and he pressed a kiss to your temple, eyeing you in the mirror along with you.

You turned in his arms and offered a smile before you walked past him, letting him get undressed himself while you stepped in and felt the scolding hot droplets somehow relax every one of your tense nerves.

He stepped in behind you, his hands snaking around your waist and chin resting on your shoulder as he swayed you side to side.

You leaned your head back, the water drenching every inch of you, but you weren’t sure it was the temperature of it, or if he was the reason you felt like you were nearly on fire.

“You know something?” You hear him whisper, his breath lingering against the shell of your ear.

“Hm?”

“I’m comfortable with you.” He says. It was a simple admission, but the way he said it sounded almost as if it was a revelation to him. A shock, even.

“Yeah?” You tried to act casual. Key word for everything here, you assumed.

“Yeah.” He continued swaying. “Everything feels…” He trailed off, and the first word that popped into your head was, right. Everything feels right.

But the word he chose wasn’t that.

“Easy.” He decided on. “Everything’s just real easy with you.”

You felt a pang in your heart, but you fought against it. You nodded like you agreed, and started lathering body wash all over yourself.

He helped, rubbing the suds all over your skin, then reaching behind him to grab the shampoo and pouring some in his hand.

You felt his hands lathering it through your hair, pausing for a second cause the gesture made your heart flutter, but you then reminded yourself that you shouldn’t feel like that.

You let him shampoo your hair, then turned around, facing him as you rinsed it all out. He watched you with exhausted eyes and a crooked smirk, then grabbed your hips and pulled you into him.

“You wanna go out tomorrow before I leave?” He asks. Of course the first thing you thought was, like a date? Of course you didn’t ask that question though.

“Sure.” You agreed like it wasn’t making your heart hammer against your rib cage. “But aren’t you worried about being spotted with your casual?”

You didn’t mean to add the bitter undertone, but that’s how it came out. You thought he noticed, but the way his lips tipped up slightly made you unsure.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks. You know this already.”

“Even if it gets plastered all over social media? You know how fast rumors spread.”

“There’s no rumor to be spread.” He shrugs coolly. “People don’t know me like they think they do, and they don’t know us especially. Let them think whatever they want. I just want to show you a good time somewhere other than your bed.”

You bit back your smile, looking down to hide it, but once again, that finger curled under your chin and you had to look into his eyes. Couldn’t hide that grin if your life depended on it.

“And Casual. You throw that word around a lot, but at this point, I don’t even think you know what it means.” He smirks, and you felt your brows knitting together in confusion.

“That’s what we agreed on.” You shrugged.

“Yeah, and that’s not what we turned out being.” He copied your shrug.

You opened your mouth to speak but there were no words able to be formed at that moment. You simply stared up at him, feeling like all the things you’ve felt might’ve actually been mutual afterall.

“This isn’t a conversation for right now. I think we’re both tired and probably still loopy from that fire ass sex we just had, but tomorrow, I think we have a lot to talk about.”

You nodded easily, and before you could say anything back, his hands cupped your cheeks and he made sure you were looking intently into his eyes, hanging onto every word he said.

“But if you were just casual, i’d never kiss you like this.” He says before he presses his lips to yours with a purpose that makes your head spin.

You instantly melt into him, arms wrapping around the back of his neck, bodies flush as you were rendered absolutely breathless.

Breaking apart, there were no words left to be said. He simply leaned down and cut off the water, opened the shower door and grabbed two towels. He wrapped one around you and one around his waist before he took your hand and placed a kiss to your knuckles.

“movie, round two or sleep?” He smirked. A coy smirk that made you feel weak in the knees all over again.

“All three, in that order.”

———

taglist: @madhatterbri @730hook @multi-fandom-things730 @willowgreens @shawtys-things @justdamnpeachy @wickedval l @730bliss @theworldofotps @madds-97 97 @gethooked @benjaminka @5secondsofmoxley @cypherpart15 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @littlemissbliss06

lmk if you wanna be added/removed

[mrmeowski]

Can I request Stalker Leviathan hcs?

˚✧𝐄𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮✧˚

Synopsis: Desperate to keep you close, he starts by checking your social media updates, but soon he dives deeper, tracking your location and interactions. Why did you leave him? You promised to be with him! But worry not... he's here now and will take very good care of you.

CW: Yandere tendencies, online stalking

Pairing/s: Leviathan x GN.Reader

Word Count: 0.7k

Levi had never stooped this low before. Sure, he had occasionally followed his idol’s updates on Devilgram, but this was different. You were different. He needed to know everything about you, not just your life in the Devildom but also your life in the human world.

He wanted to learn about your family, and your friends so he could deal with them, and every detail of your past. It all started when he and some of his brothers visited the human realm. They passed by a phone store, and he couldn’t resist buying one.

It was not too different from the D.D.D., so he quickly got the hang of it. At first, he rarely used the device, only turning to it for things unavailable on Devildom's phones. But when you return to the human world, away from his reach and his life, everything changes.

He started using the phone more frequently, and though it was challenging at first—especially since he knew nothing about your human version of Devilgram, Instagram—his determination led him to find your profile. You posted regularly about your life back home, sharing glimpses that he couldn't resist diving into.

He scrolled through your past, uncovering the life you lived before coming to the Devildom, and each post drew him deeper into his obsession. You were intoxicating, and he couldn't stop himself from wanting more. The more he learned, the more he craved.

If only he could reach through the screen and touch your soft skin… he would have done it without hesitation. He fantasizes about kissing you passionately, holding you so tightly that you’d never escape his grasp, and doing things to you that he’s only dared to imagine. These thoughts consume him and he finds himself getting lost in fantasies.

When you had to return to the human world, it was a hard blow for everyone, but they understood that you had a family waiting for you. Even if they wanted to be selfish and keep you there, they knew they had to let you go. However, the one who struggled the most after your departure was the third-born.

You were his only true friend, the person he could rely on during his bouts of sorrow, someone he could pour his heart out to about a new game or series. And now, you were ripped away from him.

Everyone noticed the change. He was already known for rarely leaving his room, even for meals, but this time... it was different. Weeks passed, and it had been a month or two since anyone had seen him. He even stopped responding to texts, whether direct messages or group chats.

They tried to reach out to him in person, knocking on his door and asking how he was doing, why he hadn't come out to eat, or if he needed anything. But all they were met with was silence. Their concern grew with each passing day until it reached a point where Lucifer had no choice but to break down the door.

But when he did, he found the room empty. The sight of his abandoned room sent a chill through the house, leaving everyone uneasy. Where had he gone? And more importantly, what was he planning?

The Avatar of Envy had vanished, escaping to the Human Realm with a singular purpose: to find you. Using the information he'd gathered from your online presence, he pinpointed your exact location.

You can’t escape him now—nothing is stopping him. His brothers have no idea where he is; he has erased every trace of his online presence, and they aren't tech-savvy enough to track him down. He's lurking somewhere in your area, maybe even in your room.

Have you noticed anything strange in your home? Maybe something has gone missing or moved from its usual place. Perhaps you’ve caught fleeting shadows in the corner of your eye or heard soft giggles when you thought you were alone.

As he watches you sleep, he gently brushes a finger across your cheek, his mind racing with thoughts. What if you suddenly woke up? Would you scream, or would you embrace him, giving him the affection he so desperately craves after all the effort he put into finding you?

He's terrified it won't be the latter, so he hesitates, delaying the moment he reveals himself. The last thing he wants is for you to be afraid of him—that would be a nightmare! So, he hides in the shadows, biding his time, content to watch you for a few weeks, maybe even a month or two.

But remember, he's always there, somewhere in the corner of your room.

Request» Masterlist»

[ari-dark-raiden-simp]

Welp we are so close to Dark Raiden Invasion season so it's probably my last "whining" post about Old Dark Raiden comeback probability so!

"You'll die by your own hand" vs "Some days, I wish I'd never left Fengjian" intro fits perfectly + Dark Raiden has full intro animation (with error in eyes since they are not glowing from the start)

Yet I notice that they "fixed" his eyes behind the scenes in newest patch also makes his texture better - they are not that plastic like before (Why would NRS fix such things if they will not use him for something more?)

Everyone gets a new "Dark" skin for Invasion yet only Raiden got reused one from MK11. A lot of people clearly say that Young Raiden IS NOT IT!!! (Please I'm not scared that we don't even have full render of Old Dark Raiden. NRS is doing everything last second right now so I will not be suprised that they tryhard now behind our backs to get everything done in April)

In the trailer we see TWO variants of Dark Raiden which is an interesting detail to me. I'm not convinced that we will get two skins for F R E E since NRS is company. I started to think that they can sell Old Dark Raiden as Premium skin during the invasion, since he needs his own voicelines done by mr Travis Willingham who voices old Raiden now (MONEY MONEY MONEY)

We can't forget about Mileena vs Dark Raiden short moment when he appears for the first time!!! Also in the final arc we see OLD Raiden who stands beside the rest of Dark Crew on top of the hill.

OLD DARK RAIDEN HAS THE REASONS TO BE A VILLIAN not like human Raiden (also please look at this pure baby Raitwink??? Nope) Old Dark Raiden DESERVES his arc after MK11 disappearance.

NOW IT'S THE BEST OPPORTUNITY TO DO THIS!!!

In the new update for MK Onslaught we get short cinematic where Elder Gods are getting destroyed before Raiden's and Shinnok's eyes. At the end they go together to continue the battle after ^ THOSE ^ words from the Thunder God. The easiest way to turn Raiden into Dark Raiden once again and merge the event around April together with Invasion season drop.

All of those details are part of my speculation (and unhealthy obsession with Dark Raiden himself) as a fan. Of course I will be the most happy human if we really get Old Dark Raiden as a separate skin and give him some justice. So please NRS don't let this opportunity die (don't be like Kitana in the gif, let the old man pass into the game for real :,D)

[lexosaurus]

The Phantom Martian: Chapter 1

Huzzah! I am here to provide a fic for Invisobang 2023!

This is a crossover between The Martian and Danny Phantom. You do NOT need to have read or watched The Martian to understand this fic (though, I recommend it because it's amazing!)

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Summary: When Astronaut Mark Watney went to Mars, he knew there was a chance he'd never come home. Now, though, he's determined to last long enough for NASA to save him because this whole dying for science thing is not as fun as it sounds.

Meanwhile, Danny Fenton is just trying to keep his identity a secret amidst a potential crisis with his powers. Seriously, what's up with that weird current under his skin? Why is he having so much trouble controlling it? And why does it feel so familiar...?

In a fit of determination (and possible stupidity), Danny goes to Mars to save Watney, only to add to both their crises when he arrives and can't get home. Will NASA save them? Will Danny have a home to return to if they do?

Chapter WC: 6,186

Fic Tags: Danny Fenton & Mark Watney, Canon Divergence, Ecton AU

Art by @pompomqt (it's so freaking good AHHHH!) Art by @friendzoned61 (screaming sobbing this is amazing)

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I am going to be updating a chapter each day of this posting week, and then I'll settle into a normal weekly/biweekly posting schedule.

I go into more detailed thank yous on AO3, but quickly I'd like to extend a hugeeeee thank you to @armed-with-knitting-needles, @bibliophilea, @lexiepiper, and @underforeversgrace for aiding in this fic. Between sitting on discord with me for hours doing math, betaing my infamous spelling habits, and in general providing much needed support in the form of memes, graphs, and good humor, these people are all AMAZING and I am forever in all of your debts 🙏

Since I'm not posting the chapters themselves on Tumblr, I put a preview excerpt under the cut! Enjoy!

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It had been a day since the news about the disastrous Mars mission was released.

NASA's website where satellite images of the Ares 3 camp were published had gotten so much traffic that the server went down for twelve hours.

Everyone wanted to see it. The wind storm. The camp in ruins. 

The aftermath.

Of course, NASA wasn't pointing their satellites at Ares 3 anymore. There was no reason to now that the surviving five crew members were well on their way back to Earth in the Hermes . 

God, what Danny would give to see the inside of that ship. If it was on Earth, the temptation to fly down to Cape Canaveral and invisibly peek inside would have easily won him over. But unfortunately, the Hermes has never been to Earth. It wasn't powered by regular rocket fuel, it was powered by ion engines — whatever that meant. 

All Danny knew was that the Hermes needed to be assembled in space instead of on Earth. It was shipped up chunk by chunk to the International Space Station where it was put together in orbit.

Which was just rude. 

[kikiwooo]

i’m the anon that asked about xavier and fredrinn tag teaming me and i haven’t been brainrotting about fredrinn lately but i’ve been thinking about xavier as a camboy alot 😭 idk the idea just appeals to me. and i’ve been trying to think of other characters that would fit this trope, like i could totally see lancelot, yin and gusion as camboys HAHAHA

MANNN GODDAM Y'ALL HAVE SOME QUITE INTERESTING FANTASIES 💀😭 I kinda didn't liked what I wrote and some parts might be short because I died

notes; gn! reader, camboy! mlbb boys

Gusion

lmao gus after his brother didn't give him enough money or overall he doesn't have enough money for himself, quite pitiful indeed. Let's jump straight into it cuz if I ever go into detail that would be an essay +he's paxley so probably there's like lot who knows him and his ego just wouldn't allow him

He probably does challenges about how big and deep he can take in and people just following cuz he's not only a new face but a pretty one too+he's also stubborn. He reads every donation out loud, also those shitty and troll ones too, he's that gullible but he learns it after it happens a few times. his eyes does go wide and his system stops for a few seconds after receiving big ass donation (while having a big ass dildo up his ass, his challenge not mine) will also smirk if the person who donated him challenge to another thing and says they'll pay him even more if he does this and that, Gus will do it no matter how impossible it is. (is that dragon di-

Will frequently invite you to his streams or videos if you guys are in relationship irl, but if you only watch and donate and maybe sing in membership(he has the silliest emotions of himself) he'll favor that one person(it's you)

Yin

INEXPERIENCEDDD I TELL YOU, but somewhat he's pretty good with those dildos, bro's born for it. Lieh is tired of hearing Yin's sloppy whimpers and half moans which he tries so hard to hide.( They're twins) most of the people favor him and only him cuz he's cute.

He recording videos cuz he heard it from Lieh that one makes so much money from it and only it. Yin was insecure at first so he first talked it with one of his very very close friend(you), but like super duper close, he can't handle anyone else other than you so you're his go to. He's pretty vanilla but from time to time he doesn't skip to try new things (𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂), also somehow gets lots of donations even if he does literally nothing and just sits in front of the camera (you know the deal shh)

But if you're one of his viewers, and probably the nicer one than those of the perverts and just keep him in his ground and offer him to do new things to not lose the attention+also keeping him updated about literally everything going around, somehow Yin even offered you a private video just for you- or just a simple invite (lieh didn't liked that)

Lancelot

ALRIGHTTT, lance is experienced and probably has been in this camboy things for years, he's pretty proud of his own body and shamelessly shows it into the camera without any hesitation maybe that's why he's so popular.

Though he's open to the camera, you can never get anything from him real life, he shuts the topic really fast that you can't even argue back. If you're one of his viewers+have membership probably the earliest one, yeah lance over here has a VIP room for y'all like the first seats of the cinema. Lance cares about what his viewers want because that's where the money comes from, no?

Lancelot is actually fond of tight clothes/gears?? Like how they squeeze is skin so deliciously(he knows his chat loves it, he also himself likes them so win?)

Everyone's literally there for his girly moans what are you talking about.

Xavier

Y'all how we got him on here, 's like we won the lottery???? despite being quiet both irl and in front of the camera, we can hear soft grunts and gasps whilst he's taking it hard(I'm not the one salivating no it's you) AHHHH HE'S JUST, PERFECT??? the way his waist and they way he turns around to check, the way his muscles mmhmmmmhmhmhm. Though he likes you interrupting his streams when you come behind him to tease, he scolds you from after the stream (damn). if one of his viewers with membership, he quietly thanks those people (he whispers, asmr fr) at the beginning of the video/stream, doesn't show much of a reaction at the donates, he's doing it for it anyway, but his eyes will visibly widen whenever reaching such lot donations with cute messages(his fandom is 🎀yes both genders),

He's always sore after the streams and videos, no matter how he took it from low, he always ends up sore which he complains about it, but does he make money? yes so so much and he doesn't thinking about giving it up any time soon.

[tubbytarchia]

new jim hardcore smp....... 30 days...... watching the vod............ this is so long im so sorry. i cant stop noting every little detail.

members (might miss some. just saying ones that join or are mentioned): jimmy, martyn, bekyamon, sneegsnag, fwhip, mogswamp, joel, sausage, lizzie, oli, "all the life series crew (but none of them responded)", scott, aimsey (jimmy says later theres "about 14 of us")

martyn almost dies immediately i think. he joins and almost instantly starts complaining about a zombie at spawn.

bekyamon DOES die immediately via skeleton. jim does the thing where he goes dead silent.

jimmy revives her after a moment of trying to figure out how to. he got someone to do it for him (i think an off-screen admin. like sonam life series)

he places down a crafting table ONLY to craft sticks then picks it up again. this isnt important i just thought it was funny. he then places it down again 5 seconds later

on the way to find stone hes met by sneeg and martyn in a boat. they all spend the first night together. cute. sneeg gets inside their makeshift cave and immediately goes afk (to talk to his chat i think)

jimmy: two dudes chilling in a dark cave, (places 2 dirt between him and martyn) two blocks apart...

martyn: NOT IN PRIDE MONTH!! (runs around the dirt)

^ they then both do the AYYYYY! thing which i think is cute.. big dogs will always be real. they keep talking about league of legends and i dont know whats happening.

jim and martyn go out at night to get resources. jimmy crashes while mining coal around some gravel and he crashes....... he has the falling block glitch,,, martyn crashed too i think (update: they all have it. i think its caused by mods not installing properly but its probably server side since its everyone? or fwhip messed up since jim said fwhip organised a folder for everyone to install.)

jimmy finds a village! on the way he has a close call with a creeper and he then raids it. he mentions football but then hes like "you dont care do you. no worries" TALK ABOUT YOUR INTERESTS ON YOUR STREAAMMMMM i mean what

chat keeps telling him to kill a golem. he resists for a bit before doing it. "you know what. ive gave in to peer pressure. im going to kill him." he then kills the golem and he goes ooo or yeah for every hit.

lizzie joins and he starts BEGGING her to not die first. "lizzie, lizzie, listen to me, if youre watching the stream still. you CANNOT be the first one to die. lizzie, please. please, please. do not be the first one to die, please. you cant have that title. you cannot have this title." (lizzie then says im gonna live so hard and he laughs. but jimmy what the hell was that about)

lizzie then mentions in chat that theres powdered snow at spawn and jimmys IMMEDIATELY like not my fault. the server did that. ???????????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM LIKE ACTUALLY i need to study him get in my lab boy

chat asks if its gonna be made into videos. he says its only going to be streamed. jimmy please hire someone to edit down your streams. please

jimmy makes it very clear that he wants to survive all 30 days. i believe in him

LIZZIES HERE shes in her empires season 2 dress skin. ?????? she forgot to install all the mods

she then leaves and sausage arrives by yelling DADDY JIM?????? (jimmy then says "first time someones called me daddy! wow!" to which saus goes "LIES. LIES. LIES!!" and jim says "well. you know. we dont talk about what we do in our spare time-" ?!!?!?!!?!?!)

lizzie then rejoins and it makes both of them jump. lizzie explains the skin by saying she likes to use the skins she doesnt wear much in between series. thats so cute i cant do this

sausage says his sos builds were him "holding back". i am scared of him i think

lizzie wants to test if you can still jump off cliffs in boats. she then goes into a ravine (and lands in water so it isnt even a test) and realises that she did just jump into a ravine with a total of 0 resources. she gets out fine :)

they talk about saving the villagers and lizzie tries to. seduce one of them into going inside the house. then sausage tries to seduce the SAME villager.

sausage has a gapple already???? he tries to give it to jimmy but jimmy gives it back.

jim and lizzie talk about joel. jimmy: "i wish i could spend some quality time with him, you know?" lizzie: "yeah me too, me too man" they then start talking about him. like wanting custody over him. like some strange pet. jimmy and lizzie and the weird thing they found on the street. jimmy explicitly refers to joel as "our man" which i think is kind of gay.

jimmy and lizzie and sausage go mining together. this is such a great trio im so happy. they go into one of those shitty little caves and mythical "builder" sausage starts texturing the entrance. someone put him in a creative world its good for his enrichment.

sausage picked the seed :) every biome is close by

lizzie keeps taming cats and im scared she isnt going to stop.

honestly the mining trip is really chill... its just the three of them hanigng out and talking. very fun. sausage meows when hes nervous. lizzie has just found out that hardcore means the server is set to hard. they also all remember that cats scare creepers and theyre having a great time. lizzie has no armour and reaches 1 heart.

sausages texturing is an ongoing bit and its so fucking funny they keep encouraging him. sausage this whole cave needs texturing.

oli wants to know where jimmy is. this gives hey girl i mean they energy and i cant explain it. jimmy says "we" are in a hole atm and oli goes full jealous bf mode on him. he calls him kitten. i cant do this

the gang finds a lush cave and sausages texturing bit gets even funnier. hes so happy about moss. unfortunately theres like a million mobs.

aimsey asks in chat if someone can sleep so jimmy does. he says it was him and aimsey says "YAY!!!!! you are my new favourite" while scott says "youre so hot for that". jimmy does not acknowledge either of them. winning the idgaf war.

sausage combat logs in between a bunch of mobs. lizzie combat logs a moment later. leaving jimmy alone to fight all the mobs (its like a single creeper and skeleton) and jimmy is SO annoyed about it. he'll never forget this.

they both join again but lizzie has to leave :( she goes back to the surface to log out safely

sausage is visibly upset about caving day 1. he yearns to build. he really really wants to build. did you know he wants to build. he wants a starter house. he doesnt want to be in the caves.

they see some gravel and jimmys like be careful. dont touch it cuz of the glitch. sausage then goes wait can i hit it here? and the game IMMEDIATELY crashes. jimmy is devastated. like clutching his head hitting his desk. hes worried hes gonna fall to his death cuz he was placing blocks.

they both rejoin at about the same time. turns out what saus did (i think) is he tried to break a single piece of gravel that he THOUGHT wasnt connected to anything. but it was. it was connected to a lot of things actually. so they both crashed

they start to go back up and they find oli!!! oli starts playing the oli and jim theyre just two guys song. hes actually so jealous boyfriend "explain to me why i have that song ready and youre spending time in a hole with OTHER men by the way!?" he also says kitten again. i cant do this. oli tries to modify the oli and jim song to oli and oli. he chills out quickly then starts playing their talent show song

they go back to the surface and oli starts talking about wanting (armadillo) scutes (for dog armour) and a dog. while oli is talking about dogs jimmy is just. zoomed in on his feet. sausage just says he will give oli 10 gifted subs if he shows his feet on stream. they get on him for being too direct and not being pg. as if they were being perfect little angels. ok oli and jim.

they all start talking over each other about lore and i cant hear anything except jimmy going "IM THE DADDY OF THIS SERVER!" and oli going "NO YOURE MY KITTEN YOURE MY KITTEN YOURE MY KITTEN YOURE MY LITTLE KITTEN MAN"

jimmy leaves to get food. he comes back and briefly passes oli and saus and i just hear oli calling sausage kitten too. i dont know what this new bit is and im too scared to ask.

all three of them go on a little boat ride to find more people. jimmy wrote a sea song yesterday and its really fun and catchy.......

they eventually run into martyn and sneeg. i think a thing about this smp is going to be me not being able to hear anything. theres a minimum of 3 people talking at any given time. the boats end up as jim/martyn, sneeg/oli, and saus. oli changes oli and jim to oli and sneeg.

i genuinely think theres like maybe 2 braincells between them all because as soon as someone says something they all start repeating it

oli and jimmy separate off. theyre looking for some place to live and they realise the spot they want is where scott is. so they make a bit out of trying to move into the area without anyone noticing theyre there. scott tries to talk to them and theyre like heyyyyyyy we didnt notice you here aha. ahaha. for context the area is like. a massive hole in the ground thats not a cave but its just. a pit. scott and aimsey call it the donut jimmy and oli call it the disc.

oli says "has there ever been a disc war" and i was thrown so hard into 2020. they then speak over each other but jimmys like (to scott) YOU FRUSTRATE ME! I AM FRUSTRATED! and oli says that oli/jim are the disc heads. surely nobody is going to mispronounce this. just a couple of disc heads. ok mr pg. their house is the discheads disc den and they keep saying it really fast and i think somethings going to go wrong.

martyn and sausage and sneeg turn up and within like a second olis like "we love riding disc in this house" and saus says "ill ride that disc" i dont like either of them at all. then oli shoos jimmy away to convince sneeg to call it the disc and not a donut (probably to say something not pg). whatever he said it worked cuz by the time jimmys back hes calling it the disc. mog turns up at some point during this too.

jimmy walks off and finds a whole bunch of dogs.... he got one of the new ones. woods wolf? idk its very cute. he goes back to the group and mog gets exiled for calling the hole a donut. jimmy mines for like 5 minutes then ends. :p next stream monday and theres another build and seek video tomorrow

Me and Liau read this ask together a few days ago and all of this OOC is the funniest shit. But also I don't think it'd be bearable for me to watch lol (minimum of 3 people speaking at a time sounds god awful. I'm just not the type of person to be able to watch that without getting really overwhelmed. Sobs) so I lay you extra thanks for updating me!! Also the humor sense is uhh. This is really starting to feel like one of those fan-made Life Series where it's mostly kids whose humor sense is primarily sex jokes. Once again OOC this all gave me a good laugh but oh my god I would not personally be able to get through this

Aughhh him and Lizzie talking about Joel though.... their man... yeah it's gay. Jimmy needs to be adopted into hermitcraft so bad dude these two never stop proclaiming how much they miss each other. End my misery

How dare Sausage and Lizzie combat log and leave Jimmy to fend for himself.... Jimmy should start murdering... also the bit with Sausage hurts my brain noooo all I can think is that miserable Jimmy does just. fuck Sausage I guess. Because he gets little affection from anyone else and Sausage is the only one to actively reach out to him and offer anything of the sort and Jimmy just takes it and has led himself to believe that he likes it this way when he just doesn't have any other options to get the affection he desires but is unable to ask for it from anyone himself. The trauma and all. Ugh I'm sorry Sausage enjoyers I cant with him

And Oli is so weird about him too lmao what are they doing!! But I can accept Oli, he's funny to me. The way he goes to comedic extremes at any inconvenience in his relationship with Jimmy to quickly switch back around is funny to me. He doesn't compare to Sausage. He could do Jimmy some good. The blonde boyfriends have my approval even if Oli is the way he is

I love when Jimmy just proclaims how he's feeling. "THAT FRUSTRATES ME. I AM FRUSTRATED" why is he such a stupid little thing I love him

Mog getting exiled immediately for referring to the hole wrong is really funny. I'm so sorry Mog

[eyedoeluhn]

Hey, I just want to say that I love your posts about bcf because it’s such an interesting clusterfuck of a story that i will never read. Every single thing I hear about it fascinates and disturbs me, and I think it’s very possible that you are the only sane person on the planet who actually knows enough about it to make posts and i’m very happy such a person exists. HOWEVER i wanna know what kind of unholy spirit is driving you to read this thing. Its so much. You could read so many books with content and plots and characters. Also your new post implies you’ve reread it multiple times which again is impressive and disturbing to me equally

I began to read BCF in 2020, when the fic was still largely new and I haven’t stopped. I have done several full rereads. I frequently go back and read entire chapters. I postpone doing things on update day where I sit and wait for a new chapter to be posted. I have read every word of god Lordroustabout has made, and don’t let the TV tropes page lie to you, there are several hidden in the sufficient velocity thread that didn’t make it into the AO3 comments.

I loathe BCF. I have hated BCF since its inception. I have hated the Celestial Forge document itself before BCF even existed because it’s a deeply stupid and infuriating idea. I do know good wormfic exists. I do know good long wormfic exists (there’s a certain someone who has been trying to get me to read Russian Caravan and has been subject to many a rant).

I post about BCF for reasons. Largely because you’re right, I am probably one of the few people who actually have stuck to it, who has read Worm (and Ward) and genuinely loves the world of PARAHUMANS and wildbow’s writing and has given the fic enough thought to speak of it. The thread is probably the worst sufficient velocity thread to ever exist. It is full of unironic adoration for every single detail and more. The brief glimpses of sanity when people tire of the pacing continually fade back into cheering when the next 23,000 words of powerwank drop. Some of the worst worm posting of all timehas gone down in that thread. It’s soothing to remember that no, I am not the only sane person and there are people who can read. And also because I can only subject that someone to so many rants about BCF before he kills me and binds a copy of Russian Caravan with my skin.

I read BCF because people who would recognize how deeply strange this fic is are put off by the atrocious Wordcount, stupid powers, and godawful pacing. This is an injustice. All of those things are true, but BCF is also terrible for a million other reasons. I could talk about how bad BCF is for 2.3 million words and still find more. Every second I spend reading it makes me loathe forums as a concept. And it is my sworn duty to make this everyone else’s problem.

Now if you excuse me I have to go summarize 138 thousand words of a fashion shown into something coherent.

[freshbakedbreadstick]

No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter Four

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Jerimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: Old habits (of fleeing) die hard unless, of course, you're forced to face things rather than running from them.

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of death, toxic relationships, grief, angst, strained relationships, minor injuries, arguments/yelling matches, details of anxiety/panic attacks, bad coping mechanisms, mental health issues, running away, Al-Anon, addiction, interventions.

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: Hi besties ! ! ! ! As promised, here’s the next chapter for you all, earlier than planned as a sorry for taking so long ! Life is getting hectic and I'm currently preparing to move into my dorm for this coming school year, hence why I couldn't update with the last chapter earlier . I transferred to a different university than the one I was originally going to so a lot of things are new to me again, but I'm still excited ! ! ! Anyways, get your happy puppy and kitty pictures to look at after this chapter and i hope you all have a wonderful day and wonderful read <3

EDIT: Changed the name used for an added side character to avoid confusion with the name of a character from the show, sorry to those who are named Amanda as that's the name i used as a replacement (:

Taglist: @marysucks-blog @shinebright2000 @jadeittic

Chapter Three / Masterlist / Chapter Five

Your fingers shook around the steering wheel as you pressed on the accelerator harder, making the engine of your old car rumble louder in your ears. It wasn’t loud enough to drown the loud and rapid heartbeat in your ears though.

Luckily for you, it was green light after green light.

You raced home, expecting to come home to a silent house with nobody there to try and talk you out of your decision. After all, it was a weekday and it was past noon, almost everyone in Chicago was either working or in school.

“Pack then leave, pack then leave, pack then leave…” you mumbled to yourself, eyes darting back and forth as you switched lanes to weave in and out of traffic. You were met with angry yells and annoyed honks as you did so, but it didn’t matter to you. You needed to get home. 

Your stuff was shoved in the back seat, half spilled from both you throwing it inside and your reckless driving. After you had the argument with everyone at The Beef, you stormed inside to silently grab your things from your locker and go. Neither Richie, Carmy, nor Sugar said a word to you as you did so, but Tina was the first to call out your name and try to calm you down. She had definitely heard everything that went down outside, those walls were absolutely not sound proof. 

“What the fuck does Carmy know anyways. He’s the one who refused to come back or even reach out at all when Mikey…  fucking hypocrite,” You mumbled to yourself, eyes narrowing and your hand gripping the steering wheel until your fingers hurt. 

Tina, however, anxiously worked at her station, half glancing over to you and half working on her task in the kitchen. You knew that she was split between wanting to reach out to you and wanting to keep going with her work, but you would never make her or anyone else choose, so you chose for her by ignoring her and leaving. 

She and everyone else are better off without you anyways.  

The tires of your car screeched as you swerved into the empty driveway.

“Fuck yes…” you whispered to yourself, skin sweaty as you shoved yourself out of your car. No cars in the driveway means an empty house. You were in the clear. 

As you approached the front door, house keys already in hand, you mumbled out plans to yourself, “Maybe Florida? It’s probably rainy and humid this time of year but if it means getting away from here, I can deal with it…”

The front door swung open before you could finish unlocking it, making you jump and gasp out as you came face to face with your mom.

“Sweetie? Are you okay? What’s going on? Why do you look ill?” You mom rushed out, eyes wide and confused.

“I'm fine Mom but I have to go.” You rushed out, pushing past her to run to the stairs. Your mom let out an unintelligible string of words as you started running to your room, heart pounding as it seemed like your once “foolproof” plan was starting to unravel. 

“Fucking fuck fuck fuck shit!” You mumbled to yourself, spitting out the words harshly as you barged into your room and began pushing things into the boxes and bags you hadn’t yet unpacked.

In your rush to pack, you didn’t hear your mom’s footsteps getting closer nor did you hear what she was saying. 

"Honey, how about you slow down for a second and take a deep breath?" She said, sounding exasperated as she pushed herself over the threshold and into your room.

"Not now mom," You replied, hissing for a brief second as you cut your finger on a sharp edge of a box before continuing to pack. 

"Seriously, I think you should stop for a second and then we can do whatever it is that you want to do, okay?" 

This made you pause. 

"...what?" You blinked, slowly turning to your Mom. 

She smiled at you, but the corners of her eyes didn't crinkle as she did so. You scanned her body, noticing the way her body language indicated that she was fully open and not at all anxious. 

You opened your mouth briefly, before shutting it and complying with her ask. You breathed in for 4 seconds, held it for 7 seconds, and let it go for 8 seconds. In front of you, your Mom beamed at you, but again you noticed how her eyes never once left yours and how they didn't crinkle at the corners like they usually did. 

"Let me help you pack, okay?" She said, voice calm. 

You watched as she moved forward and grabbed a box already full of your stuff before grabbing a smaller box. You continued to watch and followed her as she went down the hall, down the stairs, and out the front door to your car. 

As she placed the box in the car, you turned and bolted. Your feet thumped loudly as you went back up the stairs and you felt your shirt cling onto your sweaty skin. Something was up, you just knew it, and you needed to find out what it was before it was too late. 

But in this moment, the memory of your conversation at The Beef earlier replayed in your head for the 6th time that hour, and your panic settled in once again. 

With two boxes in hand, you started to leave your room to go to the front door, passing your mom who didn't so much as glance at you. Your eyes followed her frame, noting no change in her calm demeanor. 

It frightened you immensely. 

The pit in your stomach gnawed at you as you placed the boxes in the trunk, making you feel like you were going to throw up and pass out at the same time. When you left Mikey's funeral in a rush, your parents followed you. You had insisted on going in separate cars, convincing them that being alone in your car would help you prepare yourself before you went into the funeral home. But they still followed you in their own car, practically tailgating you as you ran through red lights to get home. 

You let out a shaky breath, remembering the way your mother sobbed and tried convincing you not to leave as you packed your car with the few things you were willing to take. Your father tried reasoning with you, eyes filled with tears and voice shaky but stern as he pleaded you to think your decision through. They tried everything, from promising you a vacation to get your mind off everything to threatening you with involuntary inpatient services. But nothing worked, so all they could do was run down the block, following your car as you took off, determined to seek refuge out West. 

Your mom walked around you, placing more boxes in the car with a loud clunk, taking you out of your thoughts. Your head whipped around to see her organizing your boxes.

"There's a couple more things up in your room but I wasn't sure if you wanted to take them." She said, a small smile appearing on her face as she looked over her shoulder at you.

Your eyebrows creased and your chest heaved, feeling disturbed by her overall calm attitude to this situation. She was not at all acting like the way she did the first time, which felt odd considering that you were planning on doing the same exact thing as you did before. You would even dare say that you felt like she was happy you were leaving. 

"Uhm… okay," and with that you took a couple careful steps back to watch her before turning to go back inside. 

'What the fuck is going on?!' You thought to yourself, taking your bottom lip between your teeth to chew on it as you went up the stairs. 

Sure enough, there were some things left in your room aside from the boxes labeled 'The Beef' that you were certainly not going to take. But before you could decide, the sinking feeling hit you. 

Why was your mom home? She should've been at work at this time. While she did take time off to spend with you when you first came home, she had already returned to work a couple days ago. Why did she not continue to question why you were home? You did leave a message explaining where you were before you left so she knew that and she also knew that you planned to stay at The Beef the whole day, so she would probably be confused as to why you came home early and in a rush. Additionally, she seemed okay with your decision to leave which was nothing like her previous attitude. And why the hell was she so calm?!

Then, it clicked. 

Your throat dried up. 

Someone must have told her and now she is planning something. 

You raced down the stairs, hands clammy as you gripped onto the stair railing to launch yourself forward. The only person you knew that would have her number and would be willing to reach out to her about something like this was Sugar. Your legs buckled as you rushed out front, only to see your Mom calmly waiting for you. 

"Oh honey, don't forget your wallet and charger-" She said, perking up when she saw you. 

"What are you planning?" You blurted out, interrupting her. 

Your mom furrowed her brows and tilted her head, "What do you mean?" 

"Why are you letting me go? You're not screaming or yelling and just letting me do this?"

You mom blinked at you, unmoving. It was eerie to see her not react to what you were saying.

After some silence, your mom spoke up, "You're an adult and I respect every decision you will make, regardless if I agree with it or not." 

Your eyes narrowed. Although this didn't seem very far off when it came to the parenting philosophy they raised you with, something about this still made you feel alarmed. 

"How about we stop for ice cream at that creamery we love before you go?" 

There's the catch. 

You visibly tensed your body, "Okay…" 

Something was going to happen to you once you got there, you just knew it, but you were going to make a plan and get the hell out of there. 

With a smile, your mom walked to the passenger's seat of the car, "Go lock up for me, okay? I have my purse in the car already." 

You nodded slowly, jaw locked as you took small steps to the front door. When you finally sat down in the driver's seat, your mom was humming to herself and messing with her hair in the mirror. 

"You're planning something," you announced again, half mumbling. 

Your mom briefly stopped humming to chuckle and shake her head before continuing, seemingly unphased by the way you accused her. But this nagging feeling would not go away, so you did all you could do in that moment: drive. 

You sat on the bench outside of the small old creamery, leg bouncing rapidly. You've been going there with your parents since you were a kid, something that you also included Mikey, Carmy, Richie, and Natalie in when they could join you. You would sometimes sneak away after school together or go after football games, right before it would close at midnight. And here you were, one last time, before you would go to… Florida. 

The sweet cream of the ice cream cone you had in your hand made you hum as you licked it, the flavor exploding over your tongue. It was delectable, after all you got your favorite flavor.

You were going to miss it. 

You mom walked over to the table you sat on, holding her own cup of butterscotch ice cream, before sitting down to join you. The sun was warm and the sky was a bright blue. The overall happy atmosphere of the day didn't seem to quell whatsoever. 

You eyed her carefully for a second but only saw her indulging in her own ice cream. So you looked away and started to plan your trip to… Florida. 

You decided that first, you would drop your mom off at home and tell her what you wanted to say to dad. Then, you would drive to the nearest gas station and fuel up on both gasoline and snacks, maybe get a slurpee from 7/11, and start driving towards St. Louis. You could sleep in your car for the night at a Walmart and then drive to Atlanta the next day. After that, just head straight to Florida, home free!

Your mom cleared your throat to get your attention, making you whip your head around to face her. 

"Oh sweetie, do you mind if I go next door? We got a new tax guy and his office is just next door. I need to drop off some papers so that he can finish prepping our file." As if like magic, your mom pulled out some stapled papers from her purse. 

"When did we get a new tax guy?" 

"Last month, your father wanted to change from using H&R Block because of all the problems we had with them last year so we found this new guy."

You glanced at her, finding her eating her ice cream and looking at you; not a concern or worry was written on her face. Her story did seem to add up, your parents did complain about their tax people so this didn’t seem suspicious. So you, cautiously, nodded. 

She got up and began to walk down the sidewalk, "You can join me if you would like." 

You pursed your lips and took the risk, "Uh… sure." 

The request seemed simple and innocent enough, making your anxiety ease for a second. She might have not gone to work because she had errands to do and the paperwork she held under her arm seemed legit. And as you walked into the building and headed towards the office at the end of the hall, everything actually seemed okay. Maybe she did respect your decision and just wanted to spend some time with you before you left. 

"Give me a second," Your mom said, pausing. 

You crashed into her back, heart racing again as she stopped. But all she did was hand you the papers and turn to walk over to the trash can. 

"Give me your trash," she said, reaching out for you to give her your dirty napkins. 

Complying, you watched her throw the trash away before walking back to you, nodding for you to walk through the door in front of you. 

Inside was a large, empty office. It was bright with the grayish white walls and unfinished concrete floors projecting the light from the large windows everywhere. It made you squint as you moved blindly forward. 

The door behind you clicked at the same time that you blinked, eyes adjusting. There was a small circle of chairs in front of you, some occupied by a few people while others were empty. A couple people were hanging out by what looked to be a snack table and another person was standing by someone, chatting. But when you came in, they all paused to turn to you. 

This was what she was planning. 

Someone in a cardigan and with a gentle smile began approaching you and beside you your mom began to speak, "Sweetie, this is for the best…" 

But her voice faded from your mind as your heavy breaths and fast heartbeat overwhelmed you. You whipped around, stumbling from the speed in which you did so, and crashed into the chest of a tall person who was blocking the door. 

You heaved a breath. 

Behind you, the person in the cardigan spoke, "Hi, I understand this might be confusing and overwhelming but your mom brought you here because she cares about you and your well being. My name is Amanda and I'm more than happy to answer all your questions." 

"What the fuck is this? Is this an intervention? What am I doing here? Why am I here? Mom, why did you take me here?" You rushed out, feeling the room spin and your body get cold as you quickly glanced around the room. 

In an instant, the calm neutral face your mom had fell into one of concern, with her eyes glossy  and eyebrows pressed together, "This is an Al-Anon meeting sweetheart and it's for the best, okay? Just one meeting and then we can go home, alright?" 

Your legs gave out on you. As you collapsed onto the floor, your vision blurred but you could make out the way your mom screamed and rushed forward to grab you. Amanda looked concerned but concentrated, as if she knew exactly what to do, when she got down onto her knees to help you. You could also feel some heavy hands grab onto your shoulders behind you as your vision faded to black.

When you regained consciousness, you felt the wind gently caress your cheeks as it blew by. It felt nice, not feeling sweaty and flushed. But as you blinked your eyes open, you found yourself leaning on your mom, half laid on a bench, outside a building you had no idea about. 

“Hey honey, are you feeling ok?” Your mom said, instantly hugging you against her body as she noticed you beginning to stir. 

“Yea… yea… I'm fine,” you said, your words coming out slurred as you brought yourself up to sit. 

“How are you feeling?” A voice said, behind you and your mom. 

Everything came rushing back as you recognized this voice as Amanda’s voice. 

You stumbled up, making your mom gasp and jump up from her seat. Amanda placed a hand on your mom’s forearm, gently smiling at her. 

“What do you want from me?!” you yelled, feeling anger seep into your skin as soon as you got up and faced her. 

Amanda looked at you, “We are not here to hurt you, take you away, or anything. Your mom brought you here to give you a safe space to talk about Mikey.”

“I don’t need to talk about SHIT!” You heaved, making your mom look away from her, desperately trying to conceal her own anger. 

“We care about you and we believe that you should try this out, just once. You are free to leave if you don’t want to, okay?” Amanda continued, voice soft. 

It made your blood boil. 

With fists clenched, you glared at your mom, “You did all of this, just to trick me into coming here?”

Your mom continued to look away, refusing to look at you. You seethed. 

“You can’t even look at me or respond to me?” 

Amanda shook her head, “I understand your feeling upset and confused right now, considering how your mom brought you here, but your mom only has the best intentions for you in mind. Please, come inside. You don’t have to share anything with the group or even sit with the group. You can stand in the back with your mom and share whenever you would like.”

With a roll of your eyes, you crossed your arms. 

Softly, your mom said your name, “I never expected myself to be a perfect mom, but was willing to die trying just for you. Both your father and I made a pact to do everything we could in order to make sure you had the best life you could live. As you got older and became your own person, it was hard to watch you make mistakes but we knew when to step in and guide you, and when to step back,” her voice cracked and she cleared her throat before continuing, “And watching you be with Mikey, to be happy, was a joy in the beginning… until we saw the cracks forming in your relationship. We did everything we could to help you but nothing worked. I understand you loved him… but sweetie… his addiction hurt you too.”

“Mikey never hurt me!!” you yelled, not even feeling the tears rushing out, “He never once laid a hand on me! He never brought me around that stuff! He never wanted me to suffer!”

“He was unstable!” your mom sobbed, doubling over as the dam of emotions broke for her.

Amanda gently gripped her arms, holding her up. She stared at you with a pained but apologetic expression.

“I know what it’s like to lose someone to addiction. I lost my father when I was 16. I was such a daddy’s girl growing up, so losing him was bad but discovering why I lost him only hours after I did made it worse,” Amanda said, filling the air with something other than cries and sobs. 

You stifled your cries, making them come out as jagged breaths and rough sniffs that made your throat tighten. But you stood your ground, standing tall as your mom tried so hard not to collapse to the ground. 

“You’re not… you're not coping well. I don’t want to lose you too.” your mom managed to get out between sobs, voice small and watery.

A sob escaped, shaking your body and making you stumble. 

“You’re not going to lose me, I swear. I’m okay. I just… I just need some time.” 

[nonartrose]

Transgender Woman's Anecdotal HRT Changes For The First Month

So, I am a trans woman and looking into transgender HRT (Hormone Replacement Treatment) before getting it, I noticed that the listed changes start from 1 month after starting HRT, however, I started to notice changes literrally 1 hour after I started (vein collapse in hands, felt like slow Pop Rocks). So, since then I have kept a diary of changes over those first 4 weeks, so that I could add to the existent anec-data out there. I don't feel like going day by day is necessary or useful, so I will just condense my findings into a giant list. CAVEAT: Hormone Treatment is different for everyone, everyone's body reacts to the treatment differently, so just because I experience something in the first month that you didn't doesn't mean that either of us is wrong. ALSO: fun fact: you don't have to get Transgender HRT to be a "propper" trans person. Anyway, list:

Softer skin

Colder hands (due to hair-line veins collapsing in extremities)

Softer hair on my entire body and the hair on my head can take slightly harsher hair products without frizzing as much as before

Potentially started seeing new hair growth at my hair line (which was quite high before)

Slightly reduced hair growth on face and on legs especially

I smell different and scents/deodorant smell different on me

Mood swings

A general sense of being happier that previous

Anger-based emotions such as frustration and rage feel less "complex", "deep" and intense than they did before

Empathy-based emotions such as love and understanding feel more "complex", "deeper" and more intense than they did before

I am more patient and understand with myself, and slightly more with others

Crying starts much more easily and the tears that come feel less viscous than they did before

My eyes often get wet simply by smiling

I get over big emotional moments more easily and quickly than before

Slight breast growth (soreness started after the first month)

Subjectively it kind of feels like puberty (genuinely thought I had homework assigned one day. I am 29 and not in college)

Alcohol affects me more quickly and intensely than before

Potentially more back problems than before HRT (this is an ongoing situation that I have yet to be tested for, I think it could be that my body isn't great at absorbing Oestrogen and so my body's concentration of sex hormones is too low which can lead to complications with back and joints)

I am personally less attracted to men than I was previous (I wasn't Bi, but I did have a man fetish, which seems to have disappeared)

I bruise slightly more easily

Several times I have woken up half an hour before my alarm because I had to go to the bathroom in spite of the fact that I went just before bed

(intimate details, don't read if you don't want to know) my penis is smaller when flaccid, it is more difficult to get erect, it is more difficult to cum, my libido is almost non-existent, and ejaculate lost the white colour after a couple of weeks Hopefully this can be of some anecdotal use to some people and give at bit of hope that changes are coming, and as soon as you start. They are slow, but they start from day one. Update 1: From talking to a nurse today, it seems that my body has had quite a big and immediate reaction to the hormones, more so that what is expected. It may be that my body accept changes more quickly, it may be that my body is good at accepting the oestrogen, or it may be due to something which I as a layperson don't know about. If I get an analysis of test result back which indicates something specific as to why I have had so many affects in my first month, I'll be sure to share it here. Update 2: Got the test result back, and I have actually had quite a small increase in estradiol in my body, going from 0.05 nmol/L, 1 month before start to 0.10 nmol/L, the day before to 0.17 nmol/L, 1.5 months after start, so who knows how I have had so many changes take place. Since the estradiol level is so low, I have decided to take my estradiol pill sublingually, which means placing it under the tongue and letting it dissolve. So far, I have noticed a difference in the feeling I get when I take it. Despite my body having regulated to the estradiol taken orally, taking the estradiol sublingually has the same feeling as taking the estradiol for the first time did. So, fingers crossed that we're seeing up to a doubling of the estradiol effect.

[steamberrystudio]

19/11/2023

Hey everyone! Time for the bi-weekly tumblr update for Steamberry stuffs!

Summary

Finished writing all routes up through the end of chapter 9

Started working on editing for now

Added in-game achievements

Received some new BG art

Ramble

Okay, so writing-wise, I wrote Yren's content up through the end of chapter 9. Also revamped my end-route summaries for Yren and Raif.

The current word count is 426,000 words.

But I decided to hold off on finishing the endings for the four remaining routes. The main reason for this is that I have planned a lot of early-story changes that are going to shift the trajectory of the route endings. And I was really struggling with how to construct the route endings with those planned changes in a more nebulous state.

I usually try to avoid working out of order because I find it is not conducive to forward progress. But there are some points when you have to break the rules and go back to make important edits because you need them there in order to be able to move forward.

I'm kind of at that point.

So I decided I would fully edit Asher's route, which will allow me to inject all those planned changes into the story which will make it much easier to construct endings that call back to that earlier foreshadowing.

So writing-wise, that's what I've been doing this week. I am currently up to Chapter 6 in the edit (which means I'm a little less than half through the route).

Other Stuff:

I have received new BGs of course. Those are coming in at a fairly steady rate of 1.5 - 2 weeks each.

I also have decided to add in-game achievements to WSC. I've been thinking about it for a while but putting it off since I know that one more screen (like an achievements gallery) means more tweaks to the UI. But I finally sucked it up and did it anyway.

I've also been playing with a colour slider for Wil's sprite. I'm not going to go into detail about it here because I've talked about it more in depth on Patreon and will continue to post most of the details there.

But the idea is that instead of choosing from 3 skin tones and 2 hair colours, there would be colour sliders allowing for a much greater range of selection. One of the big concerns with colour sliders is whether or not the recolours can be made to look as good as recolouring manually - which has always been why I've stayed away from them. 

The more complex shading styles have always struggled with colour sliders. But a developer friend - Feniks - has made a really cool and dynamic shader that actually can recreate even painterly or non-outlined art styles with incredible accuracy.

Using a slider is really useful because it increases the variations the player gets while *reducing* my work load. Instead of having to recolour manually, I would actually only need to colour everything once in grey scale.

Of course, it's not as easy as just dumping in the code and art. It requires some experimentation and learning but right now it is looking like I will be able to make it work. So I may be able to show off some examples in the future.

Screenshots:

None this time...

Upcoming Weeks:

I am currently editing Chapter 6 of asher/common routes and there are some pretty substantial edits I have to make.

It's always tricky to estimate what I will get done editing wise because editing does not flow at a more or less even pace like writing. Chapter 5, 6, and 7 had (and will have) major updates and changes so it may take a while to get through them. Though I'm already through with Ch 5. So...that's one of three.

Anyway.

And I'm also working on the GS lore book, still (LoL. 🙃). Someone today reminded me that I still need to go through all the deleted content to see if anything is salvageable for the lore book too.

😭

Thank you so much to that person (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. And you need to answer for your crimes, my friend.) 👀

[redrose10]

Yoongi x Female Reader. Soulmate AU

Summary: There’s no one on this planet you hate more than your coworker/secret crush Min Yoongi. He’s an arrogant, rude, womanizer who gets under your skin every single shift and you can’t wait for your day to be over so you can get away from him. Unfortunately when Jimin, your caseworker from The Ministry of Adoration, shows up offering you both a raspberry jam filled cookie, things take a surprising turn for the worst and you can no longer get away.

Warnings: Swearing, hints of smut (nothing graphic or really detailed), a little angst, Yoongi gets around, small hint to homophobia, mentions a guy not taking no for an answer. Might get updated later

Tag list: @kam9404 @yoongisducky @farfromsugafanfic @welcometomyworld13

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2- Whiskey and Wedding Cake

Word Count: 4,081

Waking up this morning your body was sore and you had a pounding headache. You rolled out of bed thankful that it was your day off before heading towards the kitchen to make a much needed cup of coffee, but as soon as you got to the door you felt a sharp pain in your chest. Doubling over you were immediately reminded of everything that had happened the night before. Yoongi groaned from the bed feeling the sudden pain too.

“What the hell Y/N? Are you stupid or something?”, he spat as you crawled your way back to him.

“I’m sorry okay. This is all new to me. I just wanted to make some coffee. You don’t always have to be so mean Yoongi.”

He looked at you kneeling on the floor trying to catch your breath and he felt immensely guilty for lashing out like that especially at you.

“I’m sorry. I’m just grumpy in the mornings. Let’s go make some coffee.”, he sighed walking with you to the kitchen.

Once the caffeine hit your lips you started feeling a little better. Surprisingly, but thankfully Yoongi was also a great chef and made a delicious breakfast that you really appreciated so you wouldn’t have to eat yet another bowl of cereal.

You also appreciated how adorable he looked in the morning with ruffled hair and eyes barely open paired with his puffy red cheeks that you just wanted to reach out and pinch before quickly reminding yourself how much you were supposed to hate each other and pushing that thought way to the back of your mind.

“So uh what are we gonna do today?”, you asked between bites of your pancakes.

“Well whatever we do we have to do it together so…”

Almost as if on cue his phone beeped indicating a text and you watched as his mouth turned up into a grin, “Looks like I have plans for this evening with a hot blonde in a baby pink lingerie set.”

“Really? How do you plan on doing that when we can’t be more than five feet from each other?”, you smirked back reveling in the feeling of bliss as you saw his face fall at the realization.

Placing his head on his hand as he leaned on the counter and smiled at you, “Well you know, I am not opposed to some double action.”

“Nope, absolutely not.”, you shook your head.

“Alright fine. Then I’ll just move your bed closer to the door and you can stand on the other side of it and wait. We shouldn’t be long anyways.”

“No Yoongi. I’m not gonna stand on the other side of the door while you hook up with some random chick in MY bed. And being quick isn’t something I’d be proud of by the way. You seriously can’t go three weeks without getting some?”

“No, because unlike you I want to enjoy my life and not sit at home like some loser being a buzzkill for everyone else. Now I see why Jae cheated on you.”

You gasped hearing his words. The beginning of tears were already stinging your eyes as you looked up at him.

During one of your shifts many months ago Yoongi had accidentally walked in on you crying in Mina’s arms about how you had caught your boyfriend Jae cheating on you. It was a really hard time for you as you felt used and hurt by by your ex. You waited for Yoongi to make some sarcastic remark, but he just walked away without saying a word so you had assumed maybe he was actually going to be a decent person and not rub it in, but it seems like he was just waiting for the perfect moment to really make sure it hurt you.

“Fuck Y/N, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have sai…”, he started but you were already half way down the hallway not even caring about the stabbing pain in your chest due to the distance.

Yoongi quickly followed after you both to try and apologize and also stop the pain.

“Y/N, just please let me…”

You spun around so fast taking him off guard and nearly knocking him over, “No Yoongi. I don’t want your half ass apology that you don’t even mean. You knew how traumatizing that whole ordeal with Jae was for me and you just couldn’t wait to throw it in my face.“

“Y/N I am sorry. I was just irritated and I said something I shouldn’t have. I really didn’t mean it.”

“Fuck you Yoongi. Go ahead and call that girl that’s blowing up your phone right now, but you’re not fucking her on my bed so figure something else out.”

You left him speechless and crawled into your bed cocooning yourself in your blankets. He had no choice but to also lie in the bed next to you rethinking his words.

You did your best to contain your sniffles, but he still heard a few of them sneak through and up until that point in his life he thought the chest pains thanks to the stupid raspberry cookies were the worst pain he’d ever felt, but hearing you cry and knowing he was the reason behind those tears quickly overtook that as the most painful thing he had ever experienced.

At some point you must’ve cried yourself to sleep, only realizing it when you were gently woken up by Yoongi in an already dark room.

“Come on Y/N, get up.”, he said softly nudging your shoulder.

“Alright. Just let me get changed.,” you grumbled throwing the blankets off of yourself. If you were gonna have to sit there and listen to him get off with some girl you at least wanted to be dressed comfy.

“You don’t have to change. Let’s just go eat. The foods here.”, he said motioning towards the door.

“What? What happened to your plans with the hot blonde in a whatever you said?”

He nervously scratched at the back of his neck, “I uh I told her I’d have to reschedule. Wasn’t feeling it any more.”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure another one will come along any minute.”, you said walking past him towards the door.

He grabbed all of the food placing it down on the table. It didn’t take long for you to realize he had ordered all of your favorites from your favorite restaurant.

“I heard you talking to Mina one day about how this was your favorite so I ordered it for dinner. I hope this is okay.”

You nodded, “Yeah looks good. Thank you.“

The dinner was ate mainly in silence. That silenced carried over to the couch where you both agreed on watching a movie.

When the end credits started rolling Yoongi finally spoke up, “So Y/N, I am really sorry about what I said earlier. You know the Jae thing. I didn’t mean it. I was just frustrated by everything and it slipped out. I have a tendency to speak before I think when I’m upset. I’m going to try and do better another that.”

“It’s fine. Maybe you were right anyways. Maybe that is why he cheated on me.”, you shrugged not having any more care to give.

Frantically he shook his head, “No that’s not true at all. That guy was an idiot who didn’t deserve you and you can do way better anyways.”

You were slightly taken back and a little embarrassed by his words.

Trying to change the subject you asked, “And what about you? Why don’t you try and find an actual relationship instead of hookups and one night stands?”

“Any time I’ve tried to have a relationship with someone I end up getting hurt so I guess I see it as you can’t get hurt when you’re just expecting sex from someone and nothing else. It’s just easier. I’m tired of having my heart broken like that.”

“I’m sorry.”, you whispered. Seeing him be open like this even if it was just a little made you notice him in a different way.

“It’s fine. Maybe one day I’ll find someone I’m willing to get hurt for and finally settle down.”, he chuckled clearly uncomfortable about all the emotional talk going on.

He laughed to hide his true emotions. If you only knew how badly he wanted you to be that person.

The next couple days working with Yoongi while the two of you couldn’t be far away from each other were some awkward uncomfortable shifts for not only the two of you, but your other coworkers as well. Especially since things were still a little awkward after the whole Jae situation even with Yoongi apologize a hundred times.

“What’s going on with you and Yoongi?”, Mina asked.

“What do you mean?,” you said trying to act dumb.

“Well normally you two don’t speak to each other unless you’re arguing and you’ve both been pretty nice to each other. You’re following each other around like little puppy dogs. Rose showed up for her usual quickie and Yoongi asked her to leave instead of dragging her off to the bathroom. You haven’t told him to fuck off and get lost even once in the last couple days. You’re both just being really weird and I don’t like it.”

You just shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know. Maybe we’re growing up or something.”

Mina laughed, but agreed to let it go at that for now.

“Do I look okay? Will your parents like it?”, you asked spinning around to show Yoongi the dress you had chosen to wear to his brothers wedding this evening. Even though you were only going as his date because you had no other choice you still wanted to look nice and make a good impression with his family.

Yoongi stared at you stunned.

He’d always thought you were beautiful, even when you were covered in coffee stains and sweat and you had that one strand of hair that would never stay down no matter how much product you used, but seeing you dressed up with your hair lightly curled and a touch of makeup on and the fact that you were his date tonight, even if it was forced, made his brain turn to mush and his heart beat a little faster than he was used to.

He had often imagined what it would be like to take you out on a date. How he’d showed up at your place with a bouquet of flowers and tell you how beautiful you looked before taking your hand and helping you into the passenger seat of his car. Then driving over to some super fancy restaurant where he’ll pay a ridiculous amount of money for a tiny amount of food so you’ll both still be hungry and will end up at a night market trying all of the various street foods. He’d laugh as he watches you try to stop melted cheese from dripping all over you as you take another bite of your corn dog. And then at the end of the walk he’d run his thumb over your bottom lip while really thinking about kissing you before getting too scared and playing it off like he was just wiping away some of the tteokbokki sauce from earlier. And then he’d be kicking himself the rest of the drive home for being a chicken until he walked you up to your door and as you were saying goodbye he’d muster up every ounce of courage he had and lean in and actually kiss you this time feeling his stomach flip when you pulled him in a little closer to you.

“Hello? Earth to Yoongi. Jeeze I think the lack of action you’ve been getting lately is melting your brain or something.”, you laughed trying to get his attention.

“I’m sorry. What was the question again?”

You rolled your eyes, “Do you like this dress? Or should I go with the green one instead?”

“You look very nice Y/N. My moms favorite color is blue so I know she’ll like this one.”

You smiled before grabbing your purse and walking towards the door with Yoongi close behind.

The wedding venue was located about thirty minutes away giving him plenty of time to try and calm his nerves about this whole night.

“Hey uh I just want to give you a little warning about my family.”, Yoongi said looking over at you from the drivers seat while you were sat in the parking lot.

“Okay? Like warning as in I should fear for my life?”

He chuckled, “No, more like I haven’t brought a girl around since I was in high school so they might be a little aggressive with their questions and stuff and I don’t want you to get overwhelmed.”

“Don’t worry about me. I can handle myself. It’s not the first time I’ve pretended to be someones date.”

“Seriously?”

You laughed, “Yeah, one of my friends back home was gay and his parents didn’t know that because he knew they wouldn’t approve so he hadn’t told them. But they kept asking when he was going to bring a girl home so I pretended to be his girlfriend for a while to get them off his case.”

“Oh well that was nice of you I guess.”

“Yep I’m always the pretend girlfriend never the actual girlfriend.”

He laughed but after sensing the awkwardness forming you opened your door stepping out of the car, “Come on. Let’s get inside and get this over with.”

Yoongi introduced you to his family one by one and they were all surprisingly pleasant. You had no idea how or why Yoongi ended up being the way that he was judging by how friendly and kind his family had been to you m.

“Oh wow Yoongs, I never thought you’d have it in you to snag a catch like this. She’s way too pretty to be here with you.”, his uncle teased. You awkwardly laughed along pretending to ignore the deep shade of red that Yoongi had turned at his uncle’s remark.

You took a seat next his grandmother as Yoongi stood off to the side just couple feet away from you talking to his father. You took the moment to admire how handsome he looked dressed up in his suit. It was different from the cafe uniform or ripped jeans and t-shirts you usually saw him in. His hair was actually styled and not just combed through with his fingers. He had took the time to accessorize his look adding some earrings and a very expensive looking watch.

“He is a handsome one.”, his grandmother spoke making you jump a little and come out of your daydream. You smiled at her, “Yeah he really is.”

She continued, “I’m glad that he finally found someone like you. Someone to make him smile again. After that girl that works with him at the coffee shop stood him up I didn’t think he’d ever recover. He was just never the same.”

You looked at her with furrowed brows.

What girl? You didn’t remember him ever dating any of the other employees. Maybe she was confused and meant one of the customers you thought. Before you could clarify you felt a hand on your shoulder and looked up to see Yoongi smiling down at you.

“I’m gonna go grab a drink. Want to come with me?”, he asked.

“Do I have a choice?”, you joked making both of you laugh.

He grabbed himself some kind of a whiskey mixed drink and got you the wine you had requested before walking you over to a corner table in the back with fewer people around.

Curious about his drink you reached over and grabbed it with the intention just to smell it. But Yoongi encouraged you to take a sip and try it. He then doubled over in laughter at the look of disgust on your face as the strong liquid hit your tongue.

“How can you drink that?”, you coughed before chasing it down with a couple sips of your wine.

He chuckled, “I don’t know. It’s not for everyone I guess.”

“How’s the night going?”, he asked.

“Not bad. Your family is very welcoming and sweet. Are you sure you weren’t adopted?”

He laughed at your joke before taking another sip of his drink.

“You want to maybe dance later?”, he asked staring at the table too shy to make eye contact with you. He had always had this thing about wanting to slow dance with the woman that he really loved. He knew it was cheesy but he couldn’t help it. It was his thing.

A little shocked you nodded, “Yeah that sounds nice.”

The two of you made a little small talk back and forth. He pointed out certain family members and friends to you while telling stories about them. His aunt shared her top secret chocolate chip cookie recipe with you but after she walked away Yoongi laughed and told you she was a liar and she just used tubes readymade Tollhouse cookie dough. Something about the situation felt really normal. Like you two had been dating for years.

While he was staring off to the side watching his grandpa trying to learn some new trendy dance with the young kids the conversation with his grandma was still fresh in your mind and you really wanted to know what coworker could possibly break the heart of Min Yoongi.

You tapped him on his arm to get his attention.

“Hey I was talking to your grandmother earlier and she said something about you dating one of our-“, you went to ask but were cut off by a man around your age.

“Ahh there he is. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”, the man said.

Yoongi gave you an apologetic smile before greeting the other man with a hug and introducing him as his cousin Taehyung.

They spoke back and forth for a little until you motioned to Yoongi that you had to use the restroom. He followed after you with Taehyung in tow.

Thankfully the bathroom was fairly small so you were able to have some privacy as Yoongi waited on the other side of the door. Just as you were about to open it you heard Taehyung question why you were there to begin with.

“So where did you find Y/N? She’s not exactly your type.”

“What do you mean by that?”, you heard Yoongi ask.

“I mean don’t get me wrong, Y/N isn’t bad looking or anything and she’s definitely cute but she’s just not the type of girl I usually see you with. You told me you were thinking of asking that girl from the club to be your date tonight. You remember? The one with the long hair, long legs, and giant tits. Now SHE is someone I’d expect to see you here with.”

“I don’t know man. You’re looking too much into it.”, he responded.

Taehyung continued though, “And normally you would’ve already been in a broom closet somewhere here fucking your date senseless by now, but instead you’re sitting at a corner table swapping cookie recipes with Y/N. It just doesn’t seem like you.”

The two men laughed, but you couldn’t help but feel hurt at the comment.

“No it’s not like that. Y/N just isn’t that type of girl.”, Yoongi said.

You scoffed, “And what type of girl does he think I am?”

You’d had enough and swung open the bathroom door letting it slam against the wall before storming past Yoongi and Taehyung leaving them both in shock.

Yoongi quickly raced after you asking what was wrong, but you refused to speak to him afraid you’d loose your cool and you didn’t want to make a scene at his brothers wedding. You took a seat at the same corner table quickly finishing off a piece of wedding cake hoping the sugar would help to heal your wounds, but all it did was make your new headache worse.

Yoongi downed another glass of whiskey hoping it would give him the courage he needed before he cleared his throat, “Um do… do you want to dance?”

You really thought about it. Maybe try to have a little fun and end the night on a good note, but then you spotted a woman sitting a few tables over. Hair down to her hips, toned legs that went on for days, wearing a dress that you wouldn’t even wear to a club let alone a wedding thanks to the amount of skin it showed and then Taehyung’s words came back to you.

“No thanks.”, you said shaking your head.

“Please Y/N.”, he cringed at how desperate he sounded, but he could sense his chance slipping away and at this point he wasn’t above begging.

“No Yoongi. Go ask that woman. She seems more your type.”

Yoongi glanced over in the direction you were pointing.

“Well I can’t because she’s my brothers best man’s wife so that might cause a few problems. And I’m not interested in her. Actually I can’t stand her.”

You scoffed, “According to Taehyung that’s exactly the type of woman you’d be interested in. Maybe you two can go find a broom closet nearby to fuck each other in.”

And then it hit him. You had heard the conversation he had outside the bathroom.

“Y/N please let me explain.”

But you put up your hand to stop him.

“Can we please go home?”, you asked.

He wanted to say no. He didn’t want to leave with you this upset and without having a dance with you, but he also knew you were too hurt right now thanks to him. So he agreed and the two of you said goodbye to only the necessary people like his parents and brother and then went home.

Neither of you spoke the entire ride back or while you both got undressed and finished your nightly routines. He tried dozens of times to say something, but didn’t know the right way to bring it up.

Wordlessly you got in bed and quickly turned over facing the wall. Yoongi laid staring up at the ceiling.

He thought he was dreaming when he kept feeling a buzzing next to him only to realize it was your phone that you had left on the bed in between you both.

The screen lit up with a text from some guy named Han offering to pick you up.

He knew he’d hate himself for doing this, but he had to know who Han was and why he wanted to pick you up.

After making sure you were asleep he unlocked your phone and got to your messages. The exchange he saw made his stomach fall.

Apparently Han was this customer that came to the cafe often. After some thinking Yoongi remembered him coming in a few times. He

was sleazy and gross and would always harass the female employees to the point that Yoongi or Namjoon would have to kick him out. And it irked Yoongi that he was even talking to you.

Judging by the messages he had been asking you out for a while but you kept turning him down. It made his blood boil that this guy didn’t just take no for an answer.

Until this evening when you messaged him at some point after the wedding asking if he wanted to go out for dinner next week. Of course he immediately responded yes and you sent him a heart emoji that made Yoongi’s stomach sour.

He bit his lip until he drew blood as he read through the messages over and over before finally having enough and turning the phone off and placing it on the night table next to you.

Just as he laid back down to try and finally get some sleep his own phone went off signaling a new message.

He picked it up and laughed to himself at the irony. The phone lit up with a message from Jimin,

“Hey there Romeo! How did it go tonight? Did the plan we came up with work on Y/N? Hope I’m not interrupting anything by the way or maybe I do 👀”

Yoongi quickly typed out a reply, “Not exactly. I’ll explain tomorrow.” Then he shut off his phone and tossed it down.

“Because I’m the biggest idiot on the planet.”, he groaned before pulling the blankets up over his head.

[chdarling]

I've been meaning to write this to you since the first time I found your fic almost two years ago but nothing could come up to me that could put into words what a wonderful creator you are.

But the thing is, I found it when I was going through an awful time mentally, and nothing would satisfy me. Life, working, eating... whatever you can think of. It was an amazing read and the characters, their relationships, the plot. Everything was insanely wonderful and I just kept reading but I couldn't conjure the words to say to you, because in my head, writers like you deserve more than the usual “love this story, you are amazing” (not that it's bad to remind you this), until now when I started to feel again like the time I found it and I realised that, even when yourself was dealing with a lot, you had updated a new chapter and damn, what a chapter. I will talk about it obviously but I just want you to know how amazing, talented, wonderful you are. Thanks for this story, for the love to it because it's obvious how much heart you put into every single detail. Thanks, thanks, thanks. For allowing us to read it, to fall in love with your characters, for letting us meet them. Seriously you deserve everything good coming into your life and I hope you are doing good and go to your own peace, we will always wait for you.

About the chapter: I don't know if I'm seeing things but slowly it's showing why Sirius could suggest Peter to be the secret keeper, with all the things he has been doing that have worked wonderfully for them. Damn, it will hurt a lot to read the betrayal. Love to see Marlene with the marauders and Lily, what a wonderful group they make and now with James back, I'm dying to see more of all of them together, because going from what Marlene used to be to her now it was amazing, I know she's going to kill it (lol) in the OotP.

Even if they couldn't raise Harry properly, I'm so glad we can see parts of his parents on him. What wonderful human beings they are, I'm so proud of the people they grow up into and that's why everyone loved them so much. Impossible to not do so.

I felt so bad for Graham, truly and I'm afraid of what will happen to him, because at this point he has nothing to lose and I can't blame him. The system is against people like him and he can't just go away because it's his world too. He's not supposed to fight for his place but if they want him to do it, then they should suffer for it.

Your Snape makes me want to punch a wall and throw you a party. One of the best Snape's out there. The way he talks about Lily, to her, the way he just couldn't keep denying it was him because she told him he drugged her and that would mean he hurt her and that was not good at all. My skin itched so bad when he called her hysterical, when he told her she should be grateful. I loathe him so bad, he truly deserves the agony he lived with.

That's all, I think. I'll try to write to you more, both on ao3 and here. Once again, you are amazing and I'm so thankful you let us in this wonderful story.

Oh, this made me a wee bit emotional on the train. 🥺 (in a nice way!) Thank you so much for these kind words and for taking the time to send such a lovely note. I hope that things are getting better for you. Life can be real rough sometimes. Thank goodness we have fictional characters to play with 😅❤️❤️❤️❤️

Much love ❤️

[anoonimthepoorchad]

A little thing I'm kind of ashamed of — I'm very much an anxious person. It's the kind of thing I had since I was a kid, but with war it has grown into full on philosophical terror and constant feeling of panic beneath my skin. The news, the updates we get from the front, the changes in politics, each and every detail of war life makes me shiver from anxiety and check if I can do anything to grow my chances of survival. Most of the time my panic is imaginary, without actual urgent reasons to run for my life. For example, I'm scared of my home being damaged and so many important to my heart things being destroyed to the point when I want to hide everything and everyone I love to some underground shelter and never come outside again. I make "worst day" plans almost each second of my life and can't even enjoy being at home without thinking about losing everything I love. It terrorizes my brain, eats me alive, and only by talking to other people I can recognize that my fears are useless and do more harm than help.

Also each time there's an air raid, I can't help but visualize my home being destroyed and the whole apartment block collapsing. The longer I am alone, since I lost most of my close friends I had before due to war related migration, the more I get sucked into my own panic. I'm trying to battle it, but if I start posting "goodbye messages" during air raids, it's mostly me panicking due to threat of death. Even if there are 5 more million people in my city and others have way more chances to get hurt than me, I still panic like it's my last day and I didn't even get to enjoy life. And after an air raid I go back to panicking about daily life and not enjoying life, which is kinda ironic. It's not that there isn't a threat and danger, it's that I'm thinking I am not protected against it at all and that fate has turned against me finally.