#going Napoleon hunting

[captainknell]

We went to an antique market today and I always challenge my kids to find Napoleon amidst the antiques. It's a trick to make them interested in my hobbies but I'm willing to pay them if they find Napoleon so they go along with it. Well I found 3 books so I told them that I get the prize! I already have the first book that I found, Desiree by Annemarie Selinko so I didn't buy it. But I did buy the other two:

The Emperor's Lady by F.W. Kenyon and Seven Men of Gascony by R.F. Delderfield

[ratt-fried-this-pasta]

okok new layout the plan is to look like im in the napoleon fandom so i can find more friends hopefully this works i am very lonely

[tinylilacbun]

Saving Him

Summary: You save Rafe from being attacked by Groff, getting hurt in the process.

Pairing: daddy!rafe x little!reader

Warnings: age regression (briefly at the end), hand injury, blood, knife, cursing

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The bike comes to a stop near a well and Rafe waits for you to get off first before he slides off as well, taking off his goggles and you do the same.

You cough, your throat burning from the sandy wind and lack of hydration, wiping the sweat from your forehead.

Rafe stands in front of you, placing his hand on your arms he lowers his head to meet your eyes. "You good?"

"Mhm...just thirsty." You rasp and he turns to Groff.

"Get some water." He demands and you all walk over to the well, only to realize there's no water in it and Rafe sighs. "Don't worry I'll get you something soon, yeah?"

You simply nod, going to sit on the edge of the well while Rafe talks to Groff.

"Tell us about this crown. What is it worth? Street value, rough estimate." He crouches down in front of you with a hand on your knee he points a finger at the man you don't trust at all, having had a bad feeling about him the whole time. "This shit better be worth our time. Do you understand?"

"Oh, it's worth a fortune." Groff states. "It's one of the most sought-after relics in the world. Owned by Caesar, hunted by Napoleon, said to grant wishes and make the bearer indomitable."

"Holy shit! Holy shit!" Rafe curses, standing back up straight again to face Groff. "That wasn't even close to answering my question. What is it worth?"

"Hundreds of millions."

Rafe purses his lips, almost scoffing. "You're full of shit."

"Am I?"

"Hundreds of millions." He repeats. "Wait I- what, you got a buyer or something?"

"Yeah, I got a buyer." Groff answers confidentially.

"Where?"

"Ever been to Lisbon?" He smirks and you scoff at the way he talks as if this whole situation isn't bothering him. That he screwed Rafe freaking Cameron over 400k.

Rafe smiles, approaching him. "Look at you, Groff. A'ight. Always got a plan. Well, you screwed me and my girl. And then you lost my money to those mercenaries, a'ight? So now you're gonna be my bitch."

You smirk at that, that's your man right there.

"And if you're lucky, I give you a little taste on the back end, okay?" He continues, leaning a little closer to whisper so you can't hear. "If I let you live."

On Rafe's demand Groff rolls out the map beside you, showing you both how to read it with the strange necklace thingy that shows things you can't see on the map.

Rafe hands it to you so you can take a look as well and you gasp that it actually works, now this is something you'll rub in his face whenever he says magic is not real, your little self beaming at the sight and begging to make a remark. "That's crazy..."

You give it back to Rafe, not listening how Groff talks about how the crown gives power, only lifting your head when you see him pulling something out of his pocket in your peripheral vision.

Suddenly Groff lungs at Rafe and you instantly react before Rafe even gets the chance and push him to the side just as Groff wields the knife.

You yelp when the knife cuts the inside of your hand, taking a few steps back to clutch your wrist, hissing in pain.

Rafe hurriedly gets back on his feet and takes control of the situation, seeing how Groff now balances himself to not fall into the well behind him, giving him a little nudge to make him fall backwards.

Groff's yell has you sighing in relief momentarily, knowing he isn't a bother anymore, seeing how Rafe leans over the edge.

"HA HA! CHECKMATE BITCH!" Rafe screams.

You whimper, screwing your eyes shut tightly and trying to blend out the stinging pain in your hand, starting to sniffle. "Daddy..."

Rafe turns at the sound of you crying for him, rushing over to you. "You idiot. C'mere let me see..."

You yelp when he takes your hand. He examines the injury and your bottom lip quivers at the amount of blood, the scent of copper penetrating your nostrils. "Hurts..."

"I know, I know. Come, we gotta wrap it up." He shushes you, leading you back over to the bike.

He rummages through the sidecar for anything that resembles alcohol, luckily finding a small bottle together with a rag and unscrewing the cap of the bottle he grabs your hand again. "A'ight, this is gonna sting...here bite into my arm yeah?"

He pushes back the sleeve of the jacket and the shirt he's wearing, lifting his arm to your mouth so you can bite into it which he knows you most definitely will.

"Okay, one, two-" he pours the alcohol over your hand without waiting to three, knowing it would hurt a little less when it's unexpected.

You bite into his forearm with all your might, a loud whine escaping your throat, your eyes shut tightly again.

Rafe doesn't even wince, continuing to disinfect the wound thoroughly all the while soothing you with assuring words.

"There we go. All over, you're so brave, I'm proud of you..." He murmurs, pulling his arm away from your mouth he wraps the rag around your hand, tying it securely to prevent any more blood loss.

You're still sniffling, burying your face in his chest. "M'sorry...had to save you, daddy."

Rafe sighs, wrapping his arms around you he kisses the top of your head. He's actually so fucking proud of you for your courage but he's also mad that you got hurt only because he let his guard down for a second.

"Don't be sorry. Everything's okay." He says, pulling back to look down at you. "Let's go get this crown."

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu

For Rafe:

@chiaraanatra @chimindity @erikasurfer

[mothandpidgeon]

P Boy Podcasts

I was swapping podcast recs with @schnarfer and asked her what kind of podcasts would each of the Pedro boys host? (I’m a bit of a podcast junkie. I'm literally listening to one right now.) Well, we were brainstorming and I went and created episode art for each of their shows. Which ones are you subscribing to?

Nic on Nic Get a peek into the brain of legendary talent Nicolas Cage. Cage collaborator (and fanboy) Javi Guttierez is watching everything from Con Air to National Treasure 2. Take a deep dive into the films of Nic Cage and hear exclusive interviews with the man himself.

The Unfortunates There are spies living among us, everyday people living double lives. What makes them do it? And how do they keep their secrets? Each week, Dave York shares a true story from the clandestine world of espionage. 

Foundlings Din Djarin’s parenting journey has never gone to plan because he never planned on becoming a dad! Come along as he navigates the challenges of single parenting a 50 year old son. Each week Din leads insightful discussions with a range of guests— pediatricians, parenting experts, and  other parents that are just trying to figure it all out.

Declassified Drugs, danger, and dames. The fall of Escobar made way for the Cali Cartel. Hear the story from  Agent Javier Pena as he recalls the hunt for the Cali Cartel and reveals details that have never been heard before. 

Tales from the Green Ezra shares spooky fales of distant worlds on this anthology fiction podcast. All set on the Green Moon, these bizarre and enthralling stories introduce you to a lush world filled with intrigue and danger. 

Heist The Mona Lisa only became a cultural icon after it was stolen in 1911. Learn about the greatest capers in the art world with host Marcus Pike. Hear first hand accounts going undercover during his time in the FBI. 

No Cap 4 best friends chat about anything and everything. Hear Santi, Will, Frankie, and Ben give their takes on dating, travel, and current events. You’ll love listening to them react to r/aita. 

UNKNOWN ZONE Alien encounter? Evidence of the lost city of Atlantis? Ghost fucking? Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Join celebrity host Dieter Bravo for real life brushes with the unknown!

Joel’s Construction Corner Have a burning home improvement question? Or maybe you just like a southern drawl? Host Joel Miller has 30 years of experience in contracting and he’s here to share his advice with you. As soon as he figures out how to use this damn computer. Ellie does the ad reads with a pun for every one. 

Hungry History What does the invention of margarine have to do with Napoleon? Did Marco Polo really introduce pasta to Italy? Which Founding Father had a craving for ice cream? Follow your stomach to discover the origins of your favorite foods as we travel back in time with host Pero Tovar. 

--

I might've gone overboard. But I wish these all existed???

If you reblog this please rec me your favorite podcasts in the tags.

[chirrups]

omg!!! Dog au

I always head canoned jimmy to be a golden retriever and joel to be a tiny feral dogo

but they are clearly not here and I wonder what breed you drew them as and why you choose them to be that in the au

golden retriever was actually one of the breeds that i was considering in the brainstorming stages (along with some terrier breeds) but i eventually settled on the good old beagle for jimmy.

to me personally, beagle fits because they and their hound cousins are just a little more plucky and scrappy than "himbo-soft" golden retrievers are stereotyped as. jimmy is brash and foolhearted to an hilarious degree so i wanted to give him a more "goofy but still a hunting dog" feeling if that makes any sense at all.

also beagles are known for baying and i think it could function as a fun parallel symbol to the canary stuff he has going on.

and lastly, scott is a sheltie (and martyn and tango are medium-small sized breeds as well), so i wanted jimmy to fit in those size ranges and dynamics. he also just doesn't read big or small dog to me so medium size he is!

and good ole joel is a jack russel because that breed is terror on tiny legs. joel has a truly potent amount of small dog energy with the ferocity and gaul to back it up, so he gets the jack russ because those guys are as if a rabid animal and also 200 live grenades was packed into 10-pounds worth of dog.

it was a debate on whether to give grian, bdubs, or joel the jack russel terrier as they are all (just a little) napoleon-complex personalities to me but jack russel fit joel best design-wise and i ended up finding breeds that work with the other two better

[isthenapoleoncute]

Oh, note about the rabbit hunt if you go that route. Two tips!

One, make sure you don’t use rabbits that were hand raised by farmers and have no fear of horses or men or God and also inexplicably have channeled a Napoleon’s instincts to divide and conquer. Not gonna say it again.

Two, make sure your Napoleon hasn’t completed a nice day of gardening and also nobody told him it was rabbit hunting day! One time a Hudson Lowe did that, because they are stupid and don’t know how to care for Napoleons, and the Napoleon was so distressed! It was meant to be a nice thing but then the Napoleon’s garden was attacked! Tragic! Tragic! Jail for Hudson Lowe! Jail for 10,000 years!!!

I just got my Napoleon from a shelter a few months ago, and he is so well behaved! He always helps me as much as he can with the housework, he very rarely throws tantrums (which are mainly my fault) and, as if that weren't enough, he conquered the houses of my noisy neighbors so they would stop bothering me! Tell me, what would be the best methods for me to make him feel how much I appreciate him, and that he is the best boy?

Awww, what a good napoleon! Poor neighbors but this ain’t about them.

What stage of his lifecycle is your Napoleon in? If he’s just a pupa or General, maybe let him evolve into a First Consul! A nice little red pelt he can preen and where he can stomp around and make up codes and constitutions. If he’s a First Consul already, let him crown! He can be an Emperor Napoleon and get a little scepter to bop people with. Bop!

If you want something more low key, roast chicken is always a fun treat! Or a fun rabbit hunt! Or, since Napoleons love conquering so much, just let him loose and let him keep doing what he loves to do: conquer!

I’m sure you have neighbors on your other side, don’t you?

[aphroditelovesu]

this is going to end badly, but... Can you do Yandere love letter where the boys found out Reader cheated on them?

The Yandere love letter from Alexander The Great, Julius Caesar, Napoleon, and Henry VIII pls

Alexander the Great

My Queen,

May your betrayal be your own curse. If you persist on this path, know that I am capable of things that not even the gods would dare to speak of. My wrath is relentless and uncontrollable when it comes to the woman I once loved.

As for this man you cheated on me with, know that he is playing with death itself. I, who faced entire armies, will pursue him to the end of the earth, and he will find no refuge. If he touches you again, not a stone will be left unturned in his city, and he will be remembered as a traitor until the end of time.

I swear I will destroy his city, put men to the sword and sell their women and children into slavery. And then I will deal with you.

You, (Y/N), have the power to avert this dark fate. Return to my arms, renounce this treachery, and perhaps I will consider showing leniency. If not, know that my vengeance is a storm no mortal can weather. Make no mistake though, because you will be punished and I guarantee you won't like your punishment, my love.

This is your last chance, my Queen. Return to me and hand over your wretched lover and perhaps I will show you mercy.

With fury and despair,

Alexander.

Julius Caesar

My love,

Today, darkness enveloped my heart. The news of her betrayal, my sweet wife, tears me apart in a way that not even the bloodiest battles have been able to do.

For you, I crossed oceans and crossed deserts, shed blood and brought down empires. However, I realize that the hardest battle I face is the one you fought on the sly with another man. I feel betrayed, but also consumed by a sick, and furious love that burns like the fire of Rome.

I will not allow him to breathe the same air as you, to touch your skin as I did, to steal your love from me. I will hunt him down, torture him, and kill him.

(Y/N), my wife, my life and my soul belong to you. If you continue with this traitor, I swear I will make an example of him, a warning for all to see. I'll make an example of you. You are my wife, my reason for living, and I won't let anything or anyone take you away from me.

Reflect on your actions, my beloved, for my passion is stronger than any army, hotter than any fire. I won't forgive you, but I'm willing to compromise.

With angry and love,

Julius Caesar.

Napoleon Bonaparte

My beloved wife,

I write these words with a heavy heart and a mind tormented by the thoughts that have invaded my soul. I found out that you, my beloved wife, betrayed the trust that we once placed in each other.y pain is indescribable, my mind troubled by terrible visions of your betrayal.

You know what I can do when faced with challenges when those I love are threatened. My reputation as a military leader is widely known, but what you may not know is that my love for you is just as fierce.

I know where you've been, who you've been with, and what you've done. Every detail is etched in my mind like a scar, a scar that burns like lava from a volcano. (Y/N), my love, I solemnly warn you that if you persist in this betrayal, the consequences will be dire. The fire that burns in my chest can be directed to protect or to destroy, and you must choose wisely.

Reflect on what we have together, on the lives we've built, and on the price that may be paid for your actions. My love for you runs deep, and I will not hesitate to use every means in my power to keep what's mine. You are mine and I will destroy anyone who gets in my way, especially that damn lover of yours. But don't worry, I've already dealt with it myself.

I pray that reason prevails in your heart, for my passion and my anger are a force that cannot be contained. I hope you make the right choice and maybe I'll be benevolent.

With love and so much jealousy,

Napoleon.

Henry VIII

My sweet wife,

I write these words with a rage that burns hotter than the sun. My trust in you has been unacceptably betrayed, and my rage is untamed. How dare you betray me, a woman who swore allegiance to me and our kingdom?

I, Henry VIII, a mighty and formidable king, will not tolerate such dishonor. You must be aware that by challenging my authority and my love, by violating our marriage, you are playing with your own destiny. With your life.

My spies have reported every detail of your heinous betrayals, (Y/N). There is no escape, no hiding place where you can hide. My anger is like an approaching storm, and the thunder of my vengeance will resound across England.

You, who shared my bed and my trust, now face the wrath of a disgraced monarch. Have no illusions my dear as my love for you has turned into a darkness that will swallow up everything in its path. And it's all your fault.

(Y/N), if you wish to avoid a dark and terrible fate, I suggest you change course immediately. Renounce your betrayals and be my loyal wife again, and I can show you mercy, but not your damned lover. No. He's already dead. Should you decide to disobey me once more, the sword will fall on your head, as it fell on others who dared to defy me.

With unabated fury,

Henry.

[writeouswriter]

For real, bring back whatever the 80s had going on with movies (without forcibly bringing back/rebooting 80s movies), like just earnestly genuinely tell me the most ridiculous plot you can and let me be taken on a real journey with it, tell me that delorean is a time machine, tell me there’s treasure hidden on a pirate ship under this town, tell me we’re busting ghosts in NY with particle accelerators strapped to our backs, and we’re grabbing Abe Lincoln and Napoleon and Socrates to party with us so we pass our history class, tell me we’re hunting down vampires because they’re just chilling in California this whole time, tell me that department store mannequin has a curse on it that brings it to life and only one guy can see it and starts dating it, and tell me that Geena Davis is falling in love with the blue fuzzy alien Jeff Goldblum she gave a makeover to after he crash landed in her swimming pool, ate her sofa cushion like it was popcorn, and wooed her with the English phrases he learned solely from watching television, and etc etc, tell me that all with a straight face and own it

[nevesmose]

Nostraman Nature Sucks: An Attempted Lore Post

Ave dominus nox Night Lords fans. I thought I'd take some time to go through the various NL stories I have to hand and see what I could find out about the animals that lived on Nostramo. Might come in useful for something, who knows?

Sharks and Whales

As a child, on several coastal journeys with his father, he had witnessed the eyeless barrasal sharks that would group together to hunt the great whales of the open ocean. (Night Lords Trilogy)

His voice filters into something savage and predatory, as hungry as the eyeless white sharks of Nostramo’s blackest depths. (The Long Night)

Not a big surprise since they talk about them fairly often and have the Space Sharks as a successor chapter but Nostramo does have sharks. Pretty gnarly-sounding sharks if I'm honest.

I didn't know what "barrasal" meant, so I looked it up and only found one thread on r/40klore that had the same quote in it as above. Hmm.

Assuming it's not a typo or a more straightforward reference to something I'm just not getting, I'd venture a guess that barrasal, understood here to mean of or relating to "barras" like with "abyssal" could be connected to the French Revolutionary leader Paul Barras who is mostly remembered for supporting Napoleon's rise to power before being overthrown by him.

So maybe the older barrasal sharks will make use of younger ones as temporary hunting partners only to be inevitably betrayed and consumed by them. Sounds about right I think.

As for the whales, where do I even begin? I would imagine they're "whales" in name only like in Dishonored:

This does imply the possible existence of a whaling industry at some stage in Nostramo's history, though.

Crows

Jago reached into his pockets, offering a handful of breadcrumbs. Come, he said to the crows. Food for tonight. Flesh, flesh, flesh, they called back. He laughed as several of the black birds landed on his shoulders and outstretched arm. (Prince Of Crows)

‘Yes. I’ve seen them in books. Is a crow a type of bird?’ ‘Black of feather and dark of eye. It feeds on the bodies of the dead, and sings in a raw, croaking caw.’ (TLN)

Breaking news - legion that keeps referring to crows in shocking has crows on its homeworld scandal. "This is outrageous," said local Nostraman cutpurse and skin disease enthusiast Verxaglryn Quickstabber, "here we are trying to make a good name for Nostramo as a respectable hellhole, a place you'd be proud to exile your worst enemy to, and yet we're surrounded by some of the most intelligent and curious birds in existence. I was shanking someone in a back alley the other night and suddenly I saw a crow learning how to use rudimentary tools! Not on my watch, I said to the rapidly cooling body, and I threw my shiv at it. But it just flew away." At this point Mr Quickstabber was obliged to end the interview due to having been eviscerated by the Night Haunter.

I know their communication with Sevatar is happening in a dream but I really like the idea of the crows adapting to Nostramo by developing some kind of psychic hive mind that's also able to be understood by human psykers.

Crag Cougars

A beast of my home world. When next you see one of the Atramentar, look to their shoulder guards. The roaring lions on their pauldrons are what we called crag cougars on Nostramo. It was considered a mark of wealth for gang bosses to be able to leave the cities and hunt such creatures. (NLT)

Every single one of them is Scar from the Lion King, isn't it? An interesting hint about Nostramo's geography though, of which more later.

Rats

Groundcars whisked by, headlights brighter than deep-hive rats’ eyes, the occupants snug and safe behind armoured glass. (Konrad Curze: The Night Haunter)

No surprises here either. Where there's people there's rats after all.

Something with tusks?

The older Astartes grinned, wolf-like and keen, as the Atramentar either side of the Exalted’s throne growled through their tusked helms. (NLT)

This isn't that conclusive because a lot of Chaos Terminators have tusks no matter what legion they are, but Nostramo being Nostramo they probably belonged to a species of giant carnivorous mammoth that ate babies and sprayed acid from its trunk.

Cows? On My Sunless World?

‘They are still of standard human stock, and not to be mourned. What does it matter if the cattle fear the herdsman?’ hissed Krukesh the Pale. (KC:TNH)

This one's a real reach on my part as it's very likely just a turn of phrase, but I noticed it because wouldn't it be slightly more typical to use a sheep metaphor here? Plus it supports the existence of Nostraman cowboys/ranchers/vaqueros which is fun.

No bats?

His helmet bore a new, spread batwing crest in blatant imitation of Sevatar’s own. (A Safe and Shadowed Place)

A sole space was neat: a circle around an iron lectern fashioned in the form of a bat’s outflung wings, which carried a heavy book bound in human skin. (KC:TNH)

Although they appear a lot in the VIII legion's iconography and artwork, oddly enough I wasn't actually able to find a direct reference to Nostramo itself having bats. Let's cover my ass by saying this aspect might therefore have been brought in by the legion's Terran component instead.

Some Nostraman geography

The Hill Folk lived away from the cities, eking out an existence in the mountains. (NLT)

What's worse than living in a Nostraman city? Living on a Nostraman hill, apparently. This seems to just be an idea of ADB's that doesn't come up again but I've always found it quite interesting. Were the Hill Folk as scummy as the City Folk, just with more of a down-home Dukes of Hazzard vibe? Seems likely.

This also supports the idea of Nostramo not being completely urbanised like some Hive Worlds are. In my view its continents might have had a geographical layout a bit like Italy or Scotland where the cities are mainly on the flatter coasts with a more sparsely populated hilly/mountainous interior.

What else? (This part is just me making stuff up so feel free to ignore it. I'm not ADB, I'm not even ADB's hat.)

If the rest of Nostramo's marine life is anything like the sharks and whales then it's fucking terrifying. I would imagine, because it's funny, that a lot of Nostraman food features disgusting industrially-processed fish in some way or another. Like the food in Dishonored but even worse.

Is something wrong, dearest offworld husband? You haven't touched your stale bread, whalemeat and jellied eels.

Since all life on Nostramo seems to be comically carnivorous and aggressive, it would make sense in a 40K kind of way for there to be giant predatory penguins living at one or both of its poles. A bit like the monstrous blind albino penguins HP Lovecraft wrote about.

Last known infrared pict-capture of an early Nostraman settler attempting communication with a juvenile specimen of the native penguin species. There were no survivors.

[nade2308]

Lieutenant Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, USN, Naval Aviator, "Top Gun", 1986

Lieutenant Junior Grade Daniel Kaffee, USN, JAG Corps, "A Few Good Men", 1992

Colonel Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenberg, Geman Army, "Valkyrie", 2008

Roy Miller/Matthew Knight, CIA operative, "Knight and Day", 2010

Ethan Hunt, IMF agent in disguise as General Anatoly Fedorov, Russian Army, "Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol", 2011

Jack Reacher, ex-Major and investigator for the 110th Military Police Special Investigation Unit, US Army, "Jack Reacher", 2012

William Cage, public affairs officer and Major, US Army, "Edge of Tomorrow", 2014

Jack Reacher, ex-Major and investigator for the 110th Military Police Special Investigation Unit, US Army, "Jack Reacher: Never go back", 2016

Captain Pete "Maverick" Mitchell, USN, Naval Aviator, test pilot and flight instructor for the Navy, "Top Gun: Maverick", 2022

Barry Seal, airline commercial pilot for TWA, "American Made", 2017

"A man becomes the creature of his uniform."

- Napoleon Bonaparte

@thethistlegirl @malewifebillcage

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Inspired by the recent knowledge I gained about Joséphine loving cats, which I refuse to let go as a cat lover and Josie obsessive:

Napoleon: What is there in this world that makes living worthwhile?

Joséphine:

Joséphine: Cats. Cats are nice.

Josephine loved animals in general, which is very sweet - though Napoleon was very much a Horse & Dog person (but only the bigger hunting dogs/working dogs). He felt cats were lazy, which is hilarious.

Like Napoleon, they've optimized everything. you should appreciate that about them! Also they're great little beasts smh

justice for Josephine's cats not being appropriately appreciated by Napoleon!

[doctorprofessorsong]

Destiel Fic Recs

Sorry it's been a moment. I was finishing up my Moulin Rouge vibes monsterfucking Taylor Swift inspired extravaganza fic featuring blood freak Sammy, a touch of horror and a huge cast of characters for @dcbtv . (Read it here!)

But fear not! I have a fresh list of fics recs just for you. <3

The Trouble with Blue Eyes by FriendofCarlotta @friendofcarlotta (Explicit, 14k)

A film noir pulp fiction detective story so atmospheric you will feel like you are seconds from a mysterious dame busting into your office.

Dean and Cas are detectives in the same town. When they happen to meet on competing cases, things heat up. They become friends with benefits, but over the years they both catch feelings and neither one of them knows how to handle it. Will they be able to solve the Case of We Suck at Communication? More importantly, how do I marry this version of Charlie?

Frisky Business by imogenbynight @imogenbynight (Explicit, 13k)

A fun little Cas fic slash smutty one shot, this one is just immensely readable. When Dean and Cas find themselves hunting an apparently horny wraith, things get a bit complicated. Come for the fun wraith lore, stay for the smut!! It's a fun read with flustered Dean and soft dom Cas and a really fun case. What else could you want?

Of Lords and Letters by MalMuses @malmuses (Explicit, 14k)

Epistolary romance and Regency era Destiel? Catnip for me personally.

When Dean receives notice of his father’s death and his inheritance of the family's estate, he finds himself in a dilemma. He doesn’t want to abandon his regiment in the war, but someone needs to look after Winchester Hall. Luckily, a friend of Sam's, Castiel, is looking for employment and would be more than happy to serve as steward. 

But as their correspondence becomes increasingly intimate, Dean finds himself fighting not only Napoleon, but also his feelings. What will he find when he returns home?

creation myth by howldean @howldean (Teen, 5k)

This is a shorter fic for me to rec, but it manages to pack so much into it. The fic is an absolutely stunning examination of Cas and his relationship with his vessel when he's forced to leave it behind. It has all these beautiful gender feels. I am always a sucker for trueform Cas as well. 

But most of all, it's just deeply poetic. There are so many staggeringly beautiful lines as Cas grapples with who he is and where he fits. It's just absolutely gorgeous.

Devotion by FriendofCarlotta @friendofcarlotta (Explicit, 29k)

A Terminator AU. 

That's enough to make the list already, but also a full on delight of a fic. The angels, desperate to stop Dean Winchester, send one of their own back in time to kill him before he can become a threat.

But Dean sends his own rebellious angel back. Even though his grace is faltering, Cas is determined to keep Dean safe, but can he keep his heart safe?

doors unlocked and open by sidewinder @hawkland (Teen, 12k)

This one’s absolutely packed with amazing concepts. A post-Winchesters Destiel fix-it, Jack finds himself at a loss when he realizes that despite his best efforts, Dean can't seem to find peace in Heaven. He says he's looking for his family, but it's becoming increasingly clear he's specifically looking for one family member: Cas.

But Cas hasn't seen Dean since his big confession and he's not sure what reuniting will bring. Can Cas find the key to Dean’s peace?

Paper Moon by robotsnchicks @robotsnchicks (Explicit, 43k)

Life doesn't get any better than this. Dean's married to the love of his life and they've just put an offer down on their dream home. Everything is perfect. 

A little too perfect as it turns out when Dean wakes up to discover the last 4 years of his life were actually a simulation over the course of a week. He's devastated, most of all because he lost Cas. He can’t believe his husband isn't real. Refuses to believe it. He has to be out there somewhere and Dean is going to find him.

This concept could be extremely angsty, and make no mistake it does have some, but its surprisingly soft. A chance to find each other again, to start back at the beginning for Dean, to fall in love. 

Check out my other rec lists at @riversrecs

[j0die101]

I love how Illya and Napoleon just seem to take turns saving each other's lives. And also, how they would have kept ending up dead if not for the moment of "I hate this dude but guess I gotta save him, only for the sake of the mission of course" when they saved the other one before. Especially at the beginning of the movie.

See under the cut for a very detailed list 😅😅

~Illya holds onto the car Napoleon and Gabby try to escape in~ Napoleon could have very easily killed him right there, clear shot, no distance at all, but somehow it just doesn't seem fair (N "saves" I)

~ Public bathroom scene: Illya refrains from suffocating Napoleon after his boss tells him to let go.~ kinda not sure whether that counts. Saving his life by not killing him (?), guess he could've just ignored his handler and go all in. I'll let it count. (I "saves" N)

~ breaking into the satellite facility part 1: almost getting caught because Illya is too slow to pick the lock -> Napoleon picking the lock for them (N saves I, or well saves them both)

~ breaking into the satellite facility part 2: Illya figuring out a way to escape when everything goes to shit. (I saves N, or well also saves them both)

~ The best, funniest and most epic scene in the entire movie if you ask me: the harbour and Napoleon's little truck-picnick~ now see I really love this scene because it is incredibly comedic while being incredibly dramatic and angsty and a major turning point in the story. They're being chased - they're out in the harbour on a boat - all escape ways blocked - Napoleon holding on to the top of the boat. They're being shot at - a lot. Illya takes a sharp turn - Napoleon falls off the boat into the water, or does he let go on purpose ?- Illya doesn't notice right away. Turning around a few moments later he only sees the entry holes of the shots, right where Napoleon used to hang on. What conclusion does this lead him to? Surely he must think Napoleon got shot, fell off the boat and is drowning or bleeding out or both somewhere on the water. He is on his own. So he tries to get away, but is fighting a lost fight. Meanwhile, Napoleon swims ashore, finding the picnic basket on the truck and just enjoys a little break, while Iliya is being hunted down.

Now here comes the part, which I consider the major turning point in their partnership. It's a tiny little moment. Almost unnoticeable. Almost.

Illya's boat is now on fire, and it's sinking quite rapidly. The hunt is over. Napoleon starts the engine of the truck. He's about to just drive off, in the chaos no one would suspect their own truck driving out of the harbour. He could just tell their handlers the truth. Iliya was killed by their targets. Get rid of him easily and move on with the mission by himself.

But then, he changes his mind. We can see how his expression changes. He's like "damn, somehow I can't do that. Why do I have to be like this? Why can't I just let him be done with?" Kinda being annoyed by himself really.

And so he turns the truck, drives it into the water, right onto their opponents boat, sinking all of them. Using the headlights to locate Illya. Saving his life by dragging him to the surface and ashore. (N saves I)

~ the chair: Napoleon is trapped, tortured by a nazi psychopath, no way of escaping. He believes Gaby has sold them out. He has no idea whether Illya is even still alive. And yet, somehow there he is, getting him out of a hopeless situation. (Also if anyone is ever shocked by electricity, get them to the hospital immediately!!! Heart failure can happen from this as well a day after as right away. They need to be under medical observation!!! Don't let the media tell you otherwise!!!) (I saves N)

~ the iconic motorcycle scene. Illya is hurt, trapped under his own vehicle after a crash that, lets be honest, should have killed him instantly. Napoleon is trying to save Gaby from the crashed car and is ambushed, about to get shot point blank while on his back on the ground. Yet somehow Illya doesn't just manage to get his motorcycle off of himself, but continues to throw it onto Napoleon's assailant. Guess Iliya's in the lead now (I saves N)

~ And finally: the stand off about the disc. Illya feels betrayed, he is struggling, he doesn't want to kill Napoleon, but needs to finish the mission. He is close to a psychotic episode. There is so much pressure on him, who wouldn't be stressed to their total limit. By now Napoleon knows him, he is excellent in reading people. He would have been able to shoot first. Maybe even resulting into killing Illya. But instead he decides differently and is able to de-escalate the situation. By showing care and kindness (aka surprising Illya with the watch). Thereby he doesn't only save his own life, he probably saves them both. (N saves I, I guess)

~ together they are able to make the only logical decision. A decision that is probably saving millions of lives. They burn the disc. Disobedience against their handlers. A decision based on what is right. Together. (N&I saving loads of people together)

[josefavomjaaga]

Another letter from Duroc to Murat

This time from 1809.

This letter was taken from the publication of Murat’s correspondence by Paul Le Brethon, so I’m unsure wether it’s been translated before. If so, sorry for the doublette.

Putting the letter into context: Murat has been made King of Naples, obviously. Napoleon has just returned to France from Spain, where he had put Joseph back on the throne. Soult has been busy chasing Moore’s British troops back to La Coruna and is now on his way into Portugal. Ney is in Galicia, freeing nuns. Lannes and Junot are at the siege of Saragossa, Mortier and Victor are also in Spain while Bessières is back in Paris, I think. Marmont is in Dalmatia. Eugène is in Italy and already sends alarmed letters to Napoleon because the Austrians prepare for war, the Fifth Coalition War is about to begin (even if Duroc seems to not believe in it yet):

Paris, 15 February 1809 Sire, Your Majesty should not be in any doubt as to how grateful I am for the fond memories he is willing to preserve for me; he would do me a great disservice if he thought I had forgotten his kindnesses to me. Nobody forgets that here.

Your Majesty asks me for news of the Emperor. On his return from Spain, where he has always enjoyed the best of health, His Majesty came down with a fairly bad cold.This cold and some dissatisfaction that His Majesty had with the chatter in Paris during his absence had made him ill, so to speak, although his work and ordinary exercises had never suffered. His Majesty is perfectly well again and has enjoyed the pleasures of Carnival and hunting.

Our carnival was short but very cheerful. We first had at Monsieur Marescalchi's and yesterday at Monsieur l'Archichancelier's two masked balls. His Majesty went there and seemed to enjoy himself. They turned out very well. The Court has its circles and concerts as usual and the Princesses, balls as in other years. Although we are as good Catholics as in Italy, we will be extending our Carnival pleasures during Lent.

As in Paris one thing quickly follows another, there is already no more talk of what displeased the Emperor on his return and of the disgrace suffered by a great personage, especially as His Majesty is treating him better now. Your Majesty knows as well as I do what is going on. The Emperor was told that during his absence the Prince of Benevento had expressed his disapproval of the affairs in Spain, that there had been some cackling between him, the Minister of Police and Remusat; something was also said about the Minister of the Navy. All were rebuked and the Prince was disgraced by losing his position as Grand Chamberlain. There is now talk of a forthcoming appointment of senators and, as Your Majesty is well aware, this is causing quite a stir.

Business in Spain is going very well, even better than expected. The expedition to Portugal will be easy. Only the siege of Saragossa is being prolonged, but it is being conducted vigorously. They are madmen who have to be attacked house by house, and they are blown up by mines one after the other. We lost General Lacoste, the Emperor's aide-de-camp, who was in command of the engineers; he was hit in the head by a bullet.

Austria's armaments are causing a lot of talk about war being imminent; however, there is reason to believe that she will not start it and that she is arming out of fear. There is no bad rumour that is not being spread over there: according to them, we no longer have any troops left in Germany; the Emperor only left Spain because he was put off by the difficulties, and they deny all our successes.

Monsieur de Romansoff, who was here, is returning to Petersburg. It had been thought that as the correspondence started with England had always been continued, it could be resumed in these circumstances, especially since the disasters suffered by their army in Spain. With profound respect, Sire, I am Your Majesty's most humble and obedient servant. The Duke of Frioul.

[P.S.:] The notes which the Queen had sent to the Emperor in Spain have arrived here. When she left, Her Majesty gave me a commission which I am fulfilling, but I do not know whether I should continue or to whom I should go afterwards to be reimbursed.

[cippicat]

What happened to Arno Victor Dorian after the events of Unity and Dead Kings ?

Following Elise's death at the end of Assassin's Creed Unity, Arno falls into a deep depression, finding little to live for.

He is also no longer part of the French Brotherhood.

In the DLC "Dead Kings", Arno is contacted by Marquis de Sade, who tasks him with finding a manuscript in the tomb of Louis IX.

Reluctantly, Arno agrees to this mission, and travels to Saint Denis to find the manuscript. During his search, Arno meets a young thief named Leon.

While the two work together, Leon's perspective on the world starts to break through Arno's grief, slowly showing him that there is more to live than the tragedies he's faced in his past.

What happened after Dead King is in the O.Bowden's novel.

I don't like his novels.

I will not summarise Oliver Bowden's novel.

But in the final chapters Arno found Elise's journal, and also Jennifer Scott Kenway's letters, where Elise requested him to seek unity for the two Orders.

It didn't go well obviously.

Arno rejoined the French assassins but we don't know when or how.

I have few theories:

Arno was extremely talented as an Assassin and his skills were too valuables

The Brotherhood forgive him after Germain's death and the rescue of the sword of Eden

The french assassins saw Napoleon's increasing influence over France and they need Arno to keep an eye on him. They became allies even though Napoleon's ideas were closer to those of the Templars.

Over the years, Arno earned the rank of Master Assassin and eventually the rank of Mentor (but he wasn't a bureaucrat as Mirabeau).

He took Leon under his wing and adopted him. At first Leon was wary of calling him "Father".

Arno presumably got married and had other children, as he is directly related to Callum Lynch, the protagonist of the Assassin's Creed movie*. Arno made a brief appearance in the movie.

He named one of his children Charles (or Charlotte) after his father and another François (or Françoise) after Monsieur de la Serre.

Did Arno and Ratonhnhaké:ton ever met ? (Reminder: Ratonhnhaké:ton is only twelve years older than Arno)

I think that Ratonhnhaké:ton became aware of Arno's actions during the French Revolution. They may have exchanged letters but they never met in person (and Connor had a big family to took care of and a very sweet daughter who was gifted by the spirits).

Did Arno find out who killed his father?

YES

He knew about Shay but he didn't hunt him down because revenge only leads to a bad path (and probably he thought that Shay was already dead which could be true).

Did Arno met Ethan Frye? Yes, it's possible due to the proximity of the French and english's brotherhood. Arno should be around 65/70 yo (if he was still alive).

We don't know when or how Arno died because Ubisoft never gave us answers (again)

I think that Arno passed away before the birth of the Frye twins, in 1847.

*I have a theory:

AC Unity should have been the gateway to a new present with Callum Lynch (and his ancestors like Aguilar de Nerha) as a new protagonist. But the movie has been a complete disaster so Ubisoft abandoned the idea.

[britishsass]

Idea for the night: Thorney Towers crew as a ghost hunting group

It was all Boyd's idea of course. He definitely believes in ghosts. You cannot tell me this man doesn't take ghosts as a serious threat that they might need to do something about.

Edgar believes in ghosts but prefers the peaceful resolution. After all, they're not hurting anyone, they probably just have unfinished business, so why not help.

Gloria is happy to just be the talent here. She doesn't really believe in ghosts but is entirely happy to join in to hang around her boys. She'll do things like walk into the haunted room first or play a creepy piano just because she's curious if it works.

Fred has been dragged along every single time as the cameraman and he hates it. Every single time, he tries to get someone else to take the camera so he can go home. He's the one who always has the paranormal activity happen to him. He's really not trying, he's just a ghost magnet, and it is ruining his day. Please let him quit. (He can't, these are his friends and he'd worry about them being hurt if he wasn't there)

(Napoleon is either Actually A Ghost... or Napoleon doesn't think ghosts are real but keeps trying to get them to show up just to prove to Boyd that he's wrong.)

Crispin isn't usually there but when he does show up, he's usually the guy filming as things happen to Fred. He's not really either a skeptic or a believer. Also he doesn't realize how badly focused the camera is so it usually just catches nothing but Fred looking like a wet cat when the others return to figure out what Fred's screaming about now.

Sheegor is not coming with them, ever, no way, no how, no. She's happy just staying at home with Mr. Pokeylope and never coming, though she was invited. She declined and said it was okay to not offer further invites for this.

I don't have many thoughts, just this one, so. Enjoy. Good night. Hope my ramblings make sense.