#gods that exam really fried my brain

[theyellowhue]

This spoke to me at a spiritual level

dumb is my middle name and alwaysstruggling is my last name.

[solxamber]

Donuts and Dark Arts - Trey Clover x Reader

All Trey wanted to do was deliver the bread he was supposed to and be on his merry way. Instead, he stumbles on you... in the middle of a ritual?

Trey was supposed to deliver bread. Bread.

He had not, at any point, expected to walk into the middle of what appeared to be a full-blown satanic ritual, complete with candles, chalk circles, and you—clearly running on fumes and, judging by the empty cans strewn around, roughly ten cans of Monster.

You looked like you hadn’t seen the sweet release of sleep since the invention of the lightbulb.

Trey blinked, basket of bread in hand, as he took in the absolute madness. You were hunched over a pile of textbooks, frantically muttering something that sounded suspiciously like an incantation to summon the demon of passing grades.

And there you were, standing in the middle of it all, holding a half-burnt candle like your life depended on it.

"Uh…" Trey cleared his throat, trying to sound casual despite the fact that the air in the room smelled like a Hot Topic exploded. "Bread delivery?"

You snapped your head up, eyes bloodshot and wide, like a raccoon caught rifling through a garbage can. Your gaze locked on Trey, and for a moment, you just stared. The silence dragged on for an awkward beat as you seemed to process the presence of a very normal, very attractive guy in the middle of your academic breakdown.

Then, as if the caffeine had finally fried whatever remaining brain cells you had, you blurted out, "You’re cute."

Trey blinked again, stunned into silence, the basket of bread halfway between you and the floor. "Uh… thanks?"

"No, like—" You stumbled forward, almost tripping over a pile of papers. "You’re like, really cute. Did I manifest you? Is that what happened? Did I accidentally summon a hot bread guy?”

Trey stood there, torn between concern for your mental health and wondering if this was the weirdest compliment he’d ever received.

You fumbled around, your exhaustion-fueled brain running on auto-pilot, and shoved a crumpled piece of paper at him. "Here. My number. Call me when you’re… free. Or cute. Or whatever. I don’t know. I need to pass this exam before I die."

Trey, holding both the bread and now your number, just stared at you in utter bewilderment. “Uh… okay?”

You nodded sagely, as if this interaction made perfect sense in your caffeine-addled brain. “Perfect. Thanks. You can leave the bread by the summoning circle.”

Trey, thoroughly confused but too polite to question whatever the hell just happened, dropped the bread on the table and backed away like you were about to start chanting in Latin.

"Good luck with… all that," he said, waving awkwardly before bolting out the door like he’d just escaped a cult meeting.

Three days later, when you’d finally clawed your way out of the caffeine crash and actually passed your exam (barely, but still), you woke up to the mortifying realization that you had, in fact, hit on the bread guy.

"Oh my god, I gave the bread guy my number," you groaned, burying your face in your pillow. Why? Why?!

But what was worse? He actually called you back. The phone rang, and as soon as you saw Trey’s name on your screen, you almost threw your phone out the window. After a solid minute of panicking, you answered.

“Hello?”

“Uh… hey, it’s Trey? From Clover Bakery?”

Your soul left your body for a brief moment. “Oh god, Trey, I am so sorry. I was running on, like, no sleep and a few brain cells at best. Please pretend none of that ever happened.”

To your surprise, Trey chuckled. “Honestly? It was kind of… endearing. I mean, I’ve never been hit on in the middle of a ritual sacrifice to pass a class before.”

You laughed despite yourself. “Oh god, yeah, sorry about the whole… salt circle thing. I was desperate.”

“No problem,” Trey said, clearly amused. “You made an impression, if nothing else. So, uh… did the ritual work?”

“I didn’t fail, so I’ll call that a win,” you said, feeling a bit more relaxed now that he wasn’t horrified. “But hey, since I somehow didn’t scare you off, wanna grab coffee? Y’know, a date that doesn’t involve candles and sigils?”

Trey’s voice softened, playful. “I was hoping you’d ask. And yeah, no summoning rituals this time. Just coffee.”

You grinned, the weight of your earlier embarrassment finally lifting. “Deal. I’ll even stay awake this time.”

Trey laughed. “Looking forward to it. But, just so you know, you might be the first person to ever ask me out while calling me a ‘hot bread guy.’”

“Well,” you teased, “I stand by it. You’re a pretty hot bread guy.”

“Glad to know my delivery services are appreciated,” Trey said, his voice warm. “See you soon.”

Hanging up, you flopped back onto your bed with a grin. So, maybe hitting on the bread guy in the middle of a satanic ritual wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened to you.

Masterlist

[secretobsessionstuff]

nawwwhh man you aint gotta feel bad about not doin sicktember. im bein real here, i thought i was and i did like 3, so i aint either. but if you really do want me to request one, i'd probably do psychogenic fever/stress induced illness with madix bein sickie bc itd relate to me personally the most (bc i always get stress sick and i'd love to see madix sick witb it too (bonis point if dakota take care of him GOD i loved the fic where dakote took care of him))

Hey man, thanks for always being there and loving my fics. I hope you like this one even though it's nearly two fucking years late I swear.

This fic is set in the past when Madix and Dakota are in school together.

CW: Graphic description of vomiting! It's seriously so gross I love it lol.

-------------------

A flood of relieved students rushed past Dakota. He swam against the current looking for Madix among the test-takers. Since it was 2pm, they were no longer test-takers, but the sea of knowledge inside their brains would still be there until the PTSD of organic chemistry was washed away by time. 

Dakota knew how anxious Madix had been for this final. The dreaded Orgo Chem kept his roommate up for the past three nights. It was a known fact that this second-year course was a killer, and Madix’s prof was a distinguished serial killer. Many students retook Orgo in the summer, trying for that passing grade with perhaps a more lenient prof. 

With the hallway now empty—all the students having left—it was easy for Dakota to find Madix. He hadn’t expected his friend to stick around after the final was over, but there he was sitting on the floor by the large windows. Madix looked like a crab, trying to find safety in the shell of his hunched over back. He had his head in his hands and was rubbing his temples as if the trauma of the exam pooled behind his eyes. 

“Hey, how did it go?” It was a very pointless question given that Madix was curled into a question mark. 

“Fuck if I know,” Madix slurred as he slid his hands down his face. “I keep going over every question, doubting my answers.” 

“Well, it’s over now so you don’t need to think about it.” It worried Dakota how glassy and fragile Madix’s eyes looked, like he was about to cry or explode into flames. His cheeks were pale and sunken too. 

“I need a 73 to pass the class.” 

Dakota squinted. “Mmh sounds like you’re still thinking about it.” 

Madix dropped his hands to his side. “I can’t stop. That exam is all I’ve been thinking about for the last week. I haven’t even had time to study for Anatomy tomorrow.”

With a sigh, Dakota sat down on the floor next to his friend. “I brought you something to take your mind off studying.” From behind his back, Dakota revealed a fast-food bag from the student lounge. It was Madix’s favourite place to get comfort food because of the crispy fries, the juicy burger, and the creamy milkshake. Madix didn’t like to indulge that craving too often because it was a greasy cheat meal that often left him feeling bloated, but Dakota thought it would be a nice gesture since Madix had hardly eaten anything leading up to this exam. 

He was about to hand his friend the grease-wrapped gift, but hesitated. The heat coming off Madix’s body was alarming. Dakota could feel the waves just sitting next to him. A quick touch to Madix’s forehead with the back of his hand told Dakota that he’d been neglecting his roommate. 

“Shit, Mads, you’re burning up. I didn’t know you were sick all this time.” 

“I’m not sick.” Like a starving animal, Madix reached for the bag of food, but Dakota held it out of his reach. 

“Bullshit. You can deny it all you want, but your head’s on fire, buddy.” 

“I know.” 

Dakota couldn’t stop his lecture now, as if the two of them hadn’t heard enough lecturing the whole year. “You’re the one in pre-med, you should know—wait what?” 

Madix sighed at the theatrics of his friend. “I’ve had a fever for three days. It’s not going away.” He rubbed his own forehead, feeling the familiar yet puzzling temperature. “I don’t have any other symptoms. I think it’s from stress.” 

It was honestly the oddest feeling. Madix could feel himself cooking from the inside. His cells buzzed like the many diagrams of excited particles when submitted to heat. But there was nothing else to indicate a virus or infection. His throat was fine; his nose was clear. If anything, he was infected with school. Perhaps his nose was clogged with equations and his throat was sore from reciting textbook chapters. 

Dakota looked skeptical. “So, you gave yourself a fever from worrying?” 

“Yes, it’s a medical mystery. They should name a disease after me. Anyway, gimme burger.” Madix reached for the food like a child with grubby fingers. 

Dakota scooted away from his friend, taking the prize with him. “I don’t know, Mads. You really don’t look well. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to eat something so heavy.” 

“Come on. You know I’ve been surviving on goldfish crackers.” It was only now that he could smell the fries and beef that Madix realized how hungry he was. His stomach was aching for something substantial. “Besides, I need the energy to study for Anatomy. It’s tomorrow by the way.” 

“Tomorrow? But you just had orgo.” 

“I have a shit exam schedule this year.” Madix pouted. “Please, Kota. It will make me feel better.” 

Finally, Dakota relented. He had bought it for Madix after all. But now he was worried that it was the exact opposite of what the overworked boy needed. 

He watched Madix stuff his face with his first real meal in 72 hours. The burger disappeared in record time. Fatty juices glistened on Madix’s chin as he dug into the fries. His fingers were coated in grease and fry seasoning by the time he was done. In between each mouthful, he took longs slurps of the Oreo milkshake. 

“You wanna slow down there, bud?” Dakota asked incredulously. There wasn’t much more to eat at this point. 

Madix dragged his sleeve over his mouth and shook his head. “Have to start studying soon.” He swallowed the last bite of fries and sucked at the last remnants of the milkshake. Madix let out a long burp at the end and sighed. 

“I’m not gonna lie, that was impressive.” Dakota couldn’t believe his eyes. “You’re getting more colour in your cheeks.” Maybe the meal really had been a good thing. “But I’m still worried about this voodoo fever though.” 

“It won’t go away until the exams do.” 

‘Then neither will I.” Dakota stood firm in this decision. He wasn’t going to let Madix get burnt out…literally. His hardest exams were done, so he could keep a closer eye on Madix now. “I’ll study with you in the library.” 

“You don’t have to, Kota. I’ll be fine.” 

“I want to.” 

By the tone of Dakota’s voice, Madix could tell that he wasn’t going to win this one. “Fine, but we’re studying in the red zone.” 

“Not the red zone! Anything but that.” 

Madix shrugged. “You’re the one who insisted on babysitting.”

• • •

The red zone was the fourth circle of hell—also known as the library during exam season. 

It was the quietest level of the building, reserved exclusively for students to study in absolute silence. No talking, no phones, you couldn’t even sneeze without getting dirty looks. You could hear a pencil drop and then watch that pencil be escorted out of the red zone. 

As someone with ADHD, Dakota hated the red zone. He much preferred the orange or yellow zone. At least in the orange zone, you could whisper and cough without being shunned. The yellow zone allowed for conversation and anxious tapping. He admitted that the green zone was definitely not ideal for studying. That was the first level of the library were students could openly cry over their exams or practice for their theater final that involved a murder scene. 

Dakota pretended to zip his lips and throw away the key. He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep them from moving on their own. 

Madix on the other hand had no issue keeping his mouth shut. The nausea forced his lips together. 

The fast food was quickly catching up to him, staying true to its name even inside his stomach. It hadn’t taken long before the burger, fries, and milkshake resisted digestion. The meal churned in his belly like a wad of chewing gum. 

The red zone was popular during this time of year, so Madix and Dakota hunted for two chairs next to each other. They found a long table with many students already studying there, but luckily there were two empty spots across from each other. Madix was grateful to be sitting across from Dakota so that he could rub his upset stomach discreetly. 

Unfortunately, the red zone was not a good place to have a gurgly tummy. The girl next to Madix gave him the stink eye when the organ groaned, tossing chewed up cow inside his gut. He felt grease sticking to his throat and hot burps in his chest. He pushed down every belch lest he be escorted out of the level. 

The words of the anatomy textbook swam across the page. Madix felt his fever ignite with a vengeance. Now he was dizzy, disoriented, and disgustingly full. There was heat behind his eyes that turned his vision to soup. Everything he needed to know for the exam was right in front of him in the book, but the letters became alphabet stew on a white background. 

He dared not look up at his friend in fear that Dakota would see right through him. 

Dakota could not study in such an environment, so naturally he saw every twinge of nausea flash across Madix’s expression. His poor friend was not having a good time. Madix’s cheeks were now flushed bright red, and beads of sweat gathered on his brow. 

In the dead quiet of the library, he could hear Madix’s stomach struggle to digest the heavy meal. Dakota kicked himself for giving into Madix’s begging. The nausea was no doubt thwarting his efforts at studying which created a vicious cycle of stress and pain. 

Dakota did a quick doodle in his notebook and passed it to Madix. He was quite proud of his drawing and had to keep in a chuckle. 

Madix frowned at the drawing. Along the top were the words Green Zone Now? Below Dakota’s messy handwriting was a drawing of a green-faced emoji. Its cheeks were ballooned with vomit. It seemed he wasn’t hiding his ailment so well. 

On the same page, Madix wrote back I’m fine. Must study. Madix didn’t think he needed to go to the green zone, despite what his complexion said. He could control his stomach. The food would stay down; it had to. 

Dakota gave Madix a disappointed look when he got the note back. Why must he be so stubborn? Dakota had to drop the matter. Aside from physically picking up his friend, he didn’t see any other way of convincing Madix to take a break for the sake of his health. He wasn’t going to be making any compelling arguments in the red zone. 

Madix tried to ignore his blistering fever and his unhappy guts.

Systemic Anatomy was hard to study for when he was so keenly aware of his digestive system. He imagined partially digested fries mixing with the gastric juices in his belly. His body went through the steps with much difficulty. 

The muscular organ was literally in the process of contracting itself to squeeze all the nutrients out of the fast food. Madix did not like the squeezing. He hugged his aching middle and laid his head on the table in defeat. 

It didn’t seem likely that the food would continue on to his intestines. His stomach couldn’t handle the greasy meal after days of hardly anything to eat. On top of all this, his body was too busy fighting a made-up virus called stress. The stress was very real, but his immune system was taking it too literally. It was no wonder why he couldn’t keep the meal down. 

Madix couldn’t stop the burp from coming up. It burst from his mouth, splashing the back of his throat with acid. The girl next to him shushed him. Her expression was as sour as his stomach. He didn’t have the will to apologize for the noise. Regardless, he wouldn’t have had the chance to say sorry anyway because another burp filled his mouth with sticky saliva. 

Dakota looked up quickly to see Madix hunched over his chair and gagging into his hand. Another sickly belch bubbled up, draining the colour from Madix’s face. 

Before Dakota could do anything, he watched Madix lurch forward with a loud heave. Thick vomit spewed from his mouth and fell onto the table in front of him. The sick quickly spilled onto Madix’s lap. 

“Oh, shit Maddy,” Dakota cooed as he came to his friend’s side. He didn’t bother with the anti-social etiquette of the red zone, not that it mattered though because everyone in their vicinity bolted from the room. No one wanted to risk catching whatever Madix had during their exams. 

Madix coughed and sputtered. Scandalous! He could only moan miserably before the muscles in his belly contracted again, sending up another wave of mushy fries and curdled milkshake. Dark flecks of Oreo and beef dotted the sick. 

“Oh God…” Madix choked out. “I can’t stop.”

Dakota rubbed his friend’s back while trying not to look at the growing pool of vomit that was…everywhere. “It’s okay, buddy. Just let it out.” The same heat from before lived beneath Madix’s skin. Dakota could feel the fever through his clothes. “No one is here. You’re good. Do what you need to do.” 

Madix’s belly gave another deep lurch. The pressure forced the undigested food up his open esophagus. If this wasn’t the best way to study the digestive system, then Madix didn’t know what else to do besides open himself up like a cadaver. 

His fever made the room spin around him. If he had any sort of receptacle, he probably would have missed. Luckily, he had no issue catching his notebook, his lap, and his shoes in the process. 

“Good job,” Dakota encouraged. He patted Madix’s back firmly. “Get it all out. Get that stress out too while you’re at it.” 

Madix had to admit that there was something cathartic about this purge. He felt lighter with each bout that left his body. He gave over to his subconscious mind and let his body do what it needed to do. He probably should have listened to the hunger and sleep cues before this, but he was listening now to the Get Out cues. 

If stressed looked like a melted Oreo milkshake then it was certainly no longer in his body. He tried to imagine the pressure and the expectations and the need for validation leaving his body along with the vomit. 

When Madix caught a break, he couldn’t help but give a chuckle. “This is the red zone. I just puked in the red zone.” 

Dakota laughed with him. “All over it really.” He looked around at the empty room. “You scared everyone away. They must think you have the plague.” 

“I think we’re all infected with it. This pressure—it’s an epidemic, man.” 

“Don’t go turning into a philosopher.” Dakota took a step back from his friend. It wasn’t a good view, but he was happy to see Madix’s shoulders relaxed. “Do you need anything? Water? Sleep?” 

“Both.” Madix slowly stood up from his chair, cringing at the wetness that made his shirt cling to his body. “But I think I better find someone who works here.” Madix rubbed the back of his neck. “Guess I should have listened to you, huh?”  

“Let’s discuss my vast amount of wisdom when everything’s cleaned up, shall we?" 

[nowoyas]

Koi no Yokan 6: hide behind whatever you can (Nishinoya Yuu x Reader)

First - Prev - Next - M.list - Ao3

Summary: As exam week drags on, you spend the time out of practice and largely being bothered by your latest pastime.

Warnings: general series warnings

Word count: ~3000

Exam week drags on. You wonder a million times over the course of the week whether you made the right decision in joining, whether it's a good idea to even keep talking to Noya. He's nice, whatever his intentions are don't seem malicious, but the problem with having friends who insist on knowing you is that at some point he's going to want to actually know you. And now he has your number, which he's using liberally.

Each morning the week of exams, you get a text: good morning! Please marry me!. Even though he doesn't track you down before school, though it'd be easy, he goes out of his way to say that much to you and leaves you alone unless you reach out to him first.

And you, lonely in the afternoons like you always are, always reach out.

[name] to Noya at 16:15

[name]: I don't think I'm allowed to bully you for the popsicle thing anymore

Noya: oh PLEASE tell

[name]: [image attached. Image description: a bowl of cooked white rice with what appears to be a handful of crushed potato chips piled on top.]

[name]: this is what the 4pm dinner of CHAMPIONS looks like. I should go to culinary school

Noya: oh yeah there's no way I'm letting you bully me for the popsicles ever again

Noya: why are you eating dinner at 4pm???

[name]: bored

Noya: come over then. I own at least one video game

[name]: no I have this luscious spread of food

[name]: I worked so hard to put rice in the rice cooker and then ruin it with spicy potato chips

[name]: how do you know I even care about video games???

Noya: you called volleyball *pvp don't let the ball touch the floor*

Noya: *pvp*

Noya: that's gamer words, [name]-san

[name]: …I can’t believe this

Noya: don't you wanna see Soba and her toe socks? :(

Noya: she's pacing around the house

Noya: she misses you already

[name]: …fine alright I'll come over when I'm done eating my Sad Rice Surprise GOD

[name]: bribing me with a cat.

[name]: unbelievable.

You only come over twice that week, but the rest of the time is interspersed with stupid jokes, cursed dinners you just threw together, and idle chatter just to keep your brain off of how quiet your house is. Once while you're making dinner, he calls, which forces you to make a real dinner instead of doing fucked up shit to a bowl of rice.

The entire time, he asks questions. They're half-prying, you think, little things like what are your hobbies and do you like to cook?

"I don't, really," you admit, stirring a pot absently. "I like all the individual actions, and I like making a meal come together, but I don't like putting in all this effort if I'm the only one eating it. Food only tastes good if someone else gets to eat it, you know?"

"But you get to eat it. And what about your dad?"

Silence stretches between you as you look for a reply. "He usually gets convenience store bentos instead of eating my food. I guess I'm probably not that good at cooking, haha!" That's great. Saying haha out loud is super convincing.

"That can't be right. You sent me a picture of your dinner earlier this week that looked like some real gourmet shit."

"What, the plain white rice topped with hot chips? Or the fried rice that I overseasoned?"

"Yeah!" He pauses. "If you bring me some at school, then someone else gets to eat it, right?"

"…are you just trying to get me to cook for you?"

"Guilty." You can hear him smile over the phone.

Still, it's… not a bad idea. "Fine. Lunch tomorrow after exams?"

"Deal! I'll come pick you up."

You smile, fall back into easy chatter as you add some spices to the pot. "Then I'll see you tomorrow."

~

As the final final exam closes and you are all dismissed for a short lunch, Yachi scrambles to grab a folder from her bag and approach you. She drops the folder on your desk, closed, her eyes alight with excitement as she speaks.

"I picked these up from the print shop last night!" she says. "Are you free to put them up with me after school? Or tomorrow, maybe?"

"Oh, shoot, the posters? Let me see!"

She grins, opens the folder to show you what she settled on, and shit. They're super fucking professional-looking. They barely look like a high schooler was involved at any stage of the process. The lights of the volleyball gym shine a halo around Hinata's form. He's at the peak of his jump, preparing to spike. The words, The Crows return to the national skies once again and Return of the "Little Giant" frame him, a neat little box at the bottom including information about the request for donations and how to contact Takeda-sensei about donating to cap it off.

"What the hell, Yachi-san?" you breathe. "These are amazing. You made these?"

They're… really amazing.

You swallow down the lump in your throat. What have you done for the club? It's not like you're gonna be able to take credit for helping put them up. You wouldn't, anyway—all that's gonna entail is going around a couple shops and handing them out to willing shopkeepers. Hardly anything like this.

"You know how I said my mom runs a design company?" She rubs the back of her neck. "She's taught me a little here and there. Honestly, my first draft was no good at all, so she helped me think about it a little more, but…"

"But you made them," you finish. "You're amazing."

She goes fully red at that. "Eh? Um, n-no, that's not…"

"Woah," Noya breathes from behind you.

You yelp, jerk away from him. "Dude, you can't just—"

He laughs softly, eyes trained on the poster Yachi's shown you. "These are amazing!"

Yachi shifts nervously, avoiding both your eyes. "Um, thank you both."

"These are for the volleyball club?"

"All Yachi-san's doing. I'm gonna help her put them up… you said after school today, right?"

She nods, wringing her hands together. "Only if you're not busy."

"Not at all. Let's do it."

"Oh! Great!" She glances at Noya. "Um, Nishinoya-san, you came to steal [surname]-chan away, I'm guessing?"

He nods, beaming. "Someone promised me."

You laugh. "Right, right. Yachi-san, we'll talk later?"

She nods, and Noya barely lets you grab your bag before he's dragging you out of the classroom. He speaks brightly as he pulls you along—apparently towards the roof. The rainy season isn't quite over yet, but it's close enough and sunny out, so you'll let him have this. "Those posters Yachi-san made really do look professional. We're gonna look so cool with those!"

"Yeah." It comes out perhaps more bitterly than you'd meant for it to—you're not bitter, really. Really.

He pauses. Eyes you. "You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. It's the last day of exams and I'm just a little exhausted, that's all."

The look on his face says he doesn't believe you, but he can't press it if you don't let him. You force a smile, pick up your pace so you're dragging him along. "Come on. You wanna try my cooking, right?"

~

His first bite of your food earns you another marriage proposal, thoughtless and breezy. You can't help but notice, as you sit and share lunches, that Noya isn't how he usually is—not quite as bright, not quite as high-energy.

Maybe you should ask him what's wrong. Then again, you don't really deserve to ask about it when you won't tell him anything real about yourself.

You push the last bite of food around your bento before sliding it to him. "Here. You get the last of it."

"Really? Thanks!" He snaps it up and talks with his mouth full once he has. "You really are a good cook, you know."

"Thanks."

"You're sounding all down again. What's up with you?"

"What's up with you? You're the one who's acting all like… normal-key."

"Normal-key."

"Yeah. You're normally high-key. Right now you're acting like a normal person. It's weird."

He sighs. "You actually noticed?"

"Of course I did. What's up?"

"That last exam kicked my ass. I don't think I'm going to Tokyo."

"What? Of course you are."

"I don't believe you," he grumbles. "I think it's cruel and unusual punishment to make us do all the exams back to back. Of course my brain was gonna shut down by the end."

"Why do you think you're gonna fail?"

"I'm not cut out for this! I was able to sort of focus with someone there to keep me on track, but the rest of the time I just get distracted and—and even during the stupid test it's like my brain just refuses to focus on that stuff!" He tosses his hands out in frustration.

You reach forward, pat his arm reassuringly. "You've been working hard. Did you finish the exam?"

"Barely. I didn't get to finish checking over my answers like you told me to, but the half I was able to check seemed alright when I could actually get my brain on them."

"Half is passing. More than passing, actually. You and Tanaka-senpai have both been working really hard, you know? And I was there for enough of it that I can say for certain—you're a smart guy. You're gonna be fine."

"[name]-san…"

You pull back, only for him to catch your wrist.

"Will you still marry me even if I fail my exams?"

"You're not going to fail. But yes, if you ask me nine hundred and seventy-five more times, I'll think about it."

"Yes! Okay, so, that aside—what's up with you, really? Don't think I didn't notice you trying to deflect earlier."

"See?" you grin as the warning bell for the end of lunch sounds. "Smart."

You do not let him wriggle an answer out of you. Today, you escape with your life.

~

Yachi seems to blossom as your outing together stretches on. Some shops, you enter together, always the same script: Hi! We're managers for the Karasuno volleyball club and the club is currently looking for donations to fund us as we work towards Nationals. Would it be okay if we left this poster with you to hang up?

Invariably, the answers are positive, especially after seeing the posters. On occasion, the two of you will split up, one of you taking the establishments next to or across the street from one another, but every time you enter together, you can tell how much more confident she is already.

This is good for her.

The constant compliments on her professional-level work bolster her. The good response to the poster-hanging requests has her shoulders relaxing more and more. You think that, probably, once she gets used to manager stuff, it'll be second nature to her. She'll grow into this role beautifully, and by her third year she'll probably be just as ethereal as Shimizu is to you now.

You keep your charming little smile on your face and speak politely as you distribute posters. By the time it's getting late enough to think about dinner, you're basically done. You briefly consider asking if she wants to grab dinner at one of the places nearby, since you're already in town, but instead you walk her to the bus with that same strained smile.

"Thank you so much for your help! I don't think I could have gotten all those handed out without you."

You laugh, shake your head. "Nah, you would've been fine. You're a natural at this stuff."

"What? B-but I was completely falling apart at the start there. If I didn't have you to work off of, I would never have been able to get the words out right and probably would have totally gotten shut down."

"Uh, not once they actually looked at the posters. Did you hear any of those shopkeepers talking about them? I'm telling you, they're amazing. You probably didn't even need to say anything and they would've put them up anyway."

She rubs the back of her neck, cheeks red. Of course she has to be cute, too. She's done all this cool stuff, and you haven't even gotten a fucking permission slip signed.

"I-it's sort of amazing hearing you praise me so highly," she admits. "I mean, you never seem to try really hard at anything, but you just get it."

You blink. "Uh, no. I'm—trying a lot harder than I'd like to admit. It's probably the reason I don't have the energy to get excited about anything. I use it all trying to do stuff well and hiding the fact that I'm trying."

"What? But, you're so cool, though! I mean, you've got Nishinoya-senpai head over heels for you! And you've probably got it together better than anyone else I know! I mean, during practices you're always saving me from getting hit and stuff and I can barely react at all until I would've already been hit… I think you're probably way better at this than me. And you're already starting to get everything with volleyball, right? You follow along way better than I do during practice."

You shrug. "That's just because Noya-senpai took the time to explain it to me. We could always sit down and compare notes over lunch or something so we both understand it better, now that we're not tutoring?"

She smiles, nods. The bus arrives, and you wave her off, turning to make the trek back to your house in silence.

You'll probably quit once she's confident enough to stand on her own. At least they'll have a good manager to rely on.

~

You survive the weekend the way you always do, but suddenly, it's intolerable. You pace restlessly around the house for the first few hours alone, and then put on shoes and go running, half-expecting Noya to materialize out of nowhere to run with you. But he doesn't.

You've given yourself until Monday to get a signed permission slip for the Tokyo games.

There's a chance that your father comes home this weekend, so you spend most of the weekend pacing and hoping he will, permission slip in hand. It takes hours, too many, until you're once again waking up on the couch to find him standing in the doorway, hurt in his eyes.

"Can you sign my permission slip?" you ask in lieu of a real greeting. "It's for some away games for the volleyball club. We're going to Tokyo."

"Tokyo? Wait, volleyball club?"

You raise up the paper. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's blanket permission for later games and stuff, too. But, you know, you said it was a good idea the other day, so it'd be nice if I could actually participate." The lie doesn't even taste bad in your mouth.

"Oh, right. When did I say that?"

"When you gave me the debit card for groceries? What, were you just completely ignoring me?"

"I'm sorry," he says. He sounds like he means it. "Here, I'll sign it. Tell me about your volleyball club. Are you playing, or…" He takes the paper from you, scribbles on the appropriate lines.

"Managing for the boys' team."

"Really?" he raises an eyebrow. "Those boys nice?"

The surge of temper startles even you. "Yeah, 'too-san, they're really nice."

"I see," he says, and that's it. No more prying, no weird protectiveness you've always hated the idea of but seem to want to hear now, no questions. Just I see and a signed permission slip. Just easy lies.

That night, during the short period in which you're out of your mind, you reach for your phone.

[name] to Noya at 01:37

[name]: if this is stupid please ignore it

[name]: but when you see this can I have a picture of sobas toe beans?

[name]: its important

~

Noya to [name] at 06:12

Noya: [image attached. Image description: the underside of Soba the cat's front paw. One toe bean is black, while the rest are pink.]

Noya: [image attached. Image description: the same cat paw, except a single fingertip is pressing into it from off-camera. The paw pad squishes around the fingertip.]

Noya: wanna talk about it?

[name]: would it be completely impossible for you to believe I just wanted to see her beans at one in the morning?

[name]: they're good beans, senpai

Noya: you're right, they ARE good beans

~

He meets you as he usually does. On the way to practice that morning, he doesn't press about the night's bean request, simply chats you up like everything's the same as it has been. You fire back as best as you can manage, but your mood just won't seem to lift.

Morning passes like normal, and classes drag on. It feels a little pointless to be in classes right after finals like this when the term ends in a couple of weeks, but a lot of things feel a little pointless. You get used to it. Lunch, you consider talking to Yachi, but she's busy talking to her friends, so you pick over your food alone, staring out the window.

And then there's afternoon practice.

Though one or two guys complain about the heat, Daichi insists, and so everyone's wearing their jackets for your and Yachi's official induction. They display the backs proudly as Shimizu dispenses a club jacket of your own to each of you, shout a welcome that would have scared you shitless a few short weeks ago.

You look at the back of your new jacket, the white Karasuno High School Volleyball Club embroidered there, stark against the black. Bow. Give them the polite "I look forward to working with you!" and move on.

That night, walking home, Noya says: "Oh, right. I meant to ask this earlier, but I didn't want to ruin the moment."

"Dare I ask?"

"You were smiling really nice when you got your club jacket. Will you marry me?"

You pull the jacket in question tight around your shoulders and look away without answer.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory

[asukamood]

Confession

***

Previous part

First part

***

You know, I’ve noticed that I’ve never really made Nightmare properly ask Dream out in the Sweammare mini-series so there we go.

I apologise for any… weird phrasing or so during your reading, I haven’t written in a good month and my brain has been completely fried by exams. Also somehow this came out as a sick fic???

***

Warnings: Homophobia (Heavily implied with execution), past violence and strong language

Synopsis: “Dream was in the middle of changing the towel on Nightmare’s forehead when said man finally deemed the wait enough and called him. He turned toward him as he squeezed the tissue in his hands over a bucket, water escaping from it and dropping inside. He glanced at him sideways. “What is it?”

“I’ve… been meaning to tell you something.” He watched as confusion spread on Dream’s features.

“Alright… what is it?” Nightmare marked a pause.

“I love you.””

***

The villagers now know not to try anything fishy on Dream, that was out of the way at least. However there was still one big problem. How the hell was he going to ask Dream out?

That question had made him stay up all night yesterday (albeit he always stays up) and has been haunting him since then. When he was out with Dream running some errands, he was thinking about it. When he was absently writing a fanfiction about him killing the villagers in a gory way with blood and organs everywhere, he was thinking about it. When he was eating lunch with Dream, he was also thinking about it.

Due to what happened before, he was very reluctant to confess or to be the first one to do so at least. He stared at the man who has been living rent free in his mind as he began preparing dinner, pretty much devouring him with his eyes.

That timeline was different, he knew that. Dream wasn’t acting like he did the last time so he probably wouldn’t have the same reaction as the last one did to his confession. Still, he couldn’t help the anxiety clenching at his chest like a vulture. But at the same time, he knew that if he didn’t do it, Dream wouldn’t either.

He liked to think that despite all that time away from each other, he knew the other better than anyone else could ever dream of (hah). But, funnily enough, this timeline’s Dream was even more predictable than his original Dream, and the fact Dream would rather die than confess first was so obvious that it was physically painful.

So he’ll have to endure some more anxiety it seems.

“Nightmare?” His friend snapped his fingers in front of his eyes, successfully tearing him out of his thoughts. “Have you been listening to me?” His hands folded into fists as they were put on his hips, a questioning look on his face.

God, he was so pretty.

It only made him want to keep him for himself more than he already wanted to.

“No, I was too busy grieving over that cup castle I took a few hours to make.” As if to enhance his pain about this event, he gestured toward the corpse of the monument spread out unceremoniously on the floor, some cups having yet to stop rolling. “The worst thing is that you did this. How could you? What has it ever done to you?”

Not the least impressed, Dream rolled his eyes as he turned away to stir up the content of the pot. “I didn’t mean to destroy it but if it did, then you probably deserved it.”

An offended gasp escaped Nightmare as he dramatically put his hand over his heart. “I beg your pardon? I didn’t do anything wrong, how dare you!”

“Didn’t do anything wrong.” Dream repeated, closing the pot again as it continued boiling. “As if I would believe that, you have the look of someone who stole a cookie jar from the founder of a company and got away with it by distracting them with the sudden arrival of birds.”

Nightmare raised a questioning eyebrow. “That… is strangely specific.” He noticed the obvious way Dream was avoiding to look at him. “Have you done that before Dream?”

“… Listen, it was an accident.” Two seconds of silence passed before Nightmare’s body started to rock with chuckles. Another moment passed before he fell off his chair, holding his stomach because of how much he was laughing.

“HOW DO YOU DO THAT ON ACCIDENT?” He asked between breaths, having trouble looking at him.

A few hours. A few hours and he would tell him for sure.

Then, he'll be truly his and his alone.

***

"Hey Dream." Nightmare called out eventually, his head resting on Dream's lap. Dream looked away from his thriller novel, his attention turning toward his friend. "I'm bored."

"..." He went back to his reading.

A pout was drawn on Nightmare's face as he suddenly sat up, knocking the book out of Dream's hands. The latter blinked in surprise, his hands extended as if he were still holding the covers of the literary piece, but it was too late.

Dream turned his head just in time to see a piece of a cape disappearing around a corner.

"Nightmare!" Dream shouted, jumping onto his feet. "Come back here, you jerk!" He sprinted after the other, his irritation evident. A maniacal giggle was heard in the halls of the tiny house.

That little…

That game of cat and mouse lasted a good hour in which Dream practically lost his voice because of how much he was screaming. Eventually though, Nightmare let the other catch up to him and gave him back his stolen book.

The other sucked in a big breath as he snatched the book from him, glaring at him with flushed cheeks. “That was unnecessary and childish, we’re 18 already Night, you have to stop pulling those sorts of things.”

“Where is the fun in that?” Ah fuck, he was so pretty blushing like that. “Besides, you know you love it!” Nightmare smiled stiffly, an uncomfortable feeling surrounding his brain as goosebumps spread on his skin. What the fuck is that again? It feels familiar but he can’t recall what it was.

Dream scoffed, rolling his eyes at him, not quite noticing his discomfort. “As if! Enough of this childish nonsense, let’s just go to sleep already, I’m tired.”

“You’re already tired?” Nightmare raised an eyebrow before glancing at the clock at the wall. “It’s like, 8 pm-“

The other shrugged, letting out a soft yawn afterward. “Fatigue does not have a set schedule, I’ll be going to sleep anyway.”

“Yeah I guess that’s fair, I’ll stay up a bit more if you don’t mind.” Dream nodded in acknowledgement as he stepped into their common room.

“Do as you wish, try not to sleep too late though.”

A grin spread across his face. “Of course.”

He didn’t say from whose perspective the conception of ‘late’ was, which meant that he could stay up as long as he would like.

The uneasiness grew before he realized it.

***

Nightmare felt horrible.

Well, that wasn’t really unexpected but today he felt even worse.

His lungs felt like they had been set on fire as he heaved for air desperately, thrashing around his sticky blankets. His lungs weren’t the only thing that had been set ablaze, his brain had been too, which was a huge contrast to how cold his entire body felt at the moment.

His head was also ringing and he just wanted to tell the annoying buzzing to shut the hell up but he knew that it would be pointless anyway, nothing was ever that easy. He tried to focus on the numbers displayed on the clock but it only made his eyes burn like the rest of his limbs so he gave up pretty quickly.

He was so tempted to move over to his Dream but he couldn’t get himself to move a single muscle, it fucking hurt. A groan escaped him as he let his head fall on the pillow below him.

He didn’t know how much time had passed but the moment he refocused on his surroundings, he heard Dream’s distant voice calling out to him.

“…mare? … okay?” The other words sounded like gibberish to him, the other’s voice seeming to waver. He did hope that he wasn’t going deaf again, the last time it happened, he definitely wasn’t having a good time.

From the corner of his blurry vision, he noticed a sort of figure coming closer before hovering over him. He felt a cool hand rest on his forehead and he sighed, leaning against it. That cold felt good.

“Ah!… not good… burning.” An entire sentence couldn’t be heard. “… back, okay?” Before Nightmare could try to figure out just what the other was trying to tell him, the hand on his forehead retreated as the figure stepped away, footsteps accompanying the movement.

Nightmare tried to go after him but he just ended up back on square one and lying in bed. As the footsteps started to come closer again, black dots suddenly invaded his vision before hiding everything and sending him into unconsciousness again.

***

When Nightmare opened his eyes again, he was no longer on his bed but Dream’s. A cool towel had been neatly folded and placed on his forehead in order to make his temperature go down a bit, it felt nice.

He turned a bit and ended up staring at the owner of that bed. He had brought a chair to the side of the bed and was currently busy finishing up the book the sick man had stolen from him the night prior, it seemed like he hadn’t noticed him being awake yet, which just gave him even more time to admire him.

Ah right, he was supposed to confess today.

No wonder he felt so sick.

It wasn’t even funny but he ended up chuckling anyway, bringing Dream’s attention to him.

Fuck.

“You’re awake.” Dream said, closing his book and putting it on the nearby nightstand. After he did that, he brought the chair closer to the bed and leaned over the other, studying his face. “How are you feeling?”

Like I want to kiss you.

“Like shit.” Dream hummed, feeling the towel on his head.

“No wonder, I’ve checked your temperature and you were dangerously close to 40°C. I almost had to get you to the hospital.” Nightmare audibly gagged, a disgusted expression painted on his face.

“Yuck.” The other shook his head in approval.

“I know but thankfully we avoided that.” Dream turned away and brought a cup to Nightmare’s face. The latter raised an eyebrow, his pupils' attention switching from Dream to the cup.

“Medecine. Don’t make that face, I know that you don’t like the flavor of it but it’s necessary for you to finish it.” The other hissed, putting distance between him and the streaming cup Dream was handing him.

He sighed in exasperation, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Don’t force me to make you drink that. You’re an adult, Nightmare.”

“Doesn’t make it taste better.” He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I’ll be fine, I don’t need it.”

“…” He started staring at him wordlessly.

“… You know just staring into my soul isn’t going to change my mind about that right?” He kept on going. “Dream?” A blink. “Are you seriously ignoring me now?” He looked away from him, still without saying anything.

“Oh my- FINE!” Nightmare snapped eventually, grabbing the cup and shoving the contents down his throat. His nose scrunched in displeasure as the taste invaded his mouth but he kept quiet about it, a smile materializing on Dream’s face.

“See, it wasn’t that hard.” The sick man glared at him, flipping him off verbally. He dismissed his comment with the back of his hand as he stood up, taking the cup back. “I’m gonna be washing that and getting lunch then, I’ll be back.”

“I hope you stub your toe on the way for making me do that 🖕”

“I’m ignoring you.”

***

Dream was in the middle of changing the towel on Nightmare’s forehead when said man finally deemed the wait enough and called him. He turned toward him as he squeezed the tissue in his hands over a bucket, water escaping from it and dropping inside. He glanced at him sideways. “What is it?”

“I’ve… been meaning to tell you something.” He watched as confusion spread on Dream’s features.

“Alright… what did you want to say?” Nightmare marked a pause.

“I love you.”

The other’s eyes widened as he froze, his hands letting go of the towel in his hands. It fell in the water, ripples and waves disturbing the water’s surface as droplets painted the walls of the bucket.

Dream’s mouth opened as he turned to him, several emotions pushing one another in his eyes. He stuttered inaudible words that he didn’t even seem to understand himself. “You… what?”

“I love you.” He repeated, looking as serious as ever. He didn’t let it show but the sheer amount of anxiety he was feeling made him want to throw up, he clearly did not miss that fear of rejection.

His lips quivered a few more seconds before Dream laughed nervously, finally able to look away from the other as he picked the towel back up. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” He said, looking like he was more trying to convince himself than Nightmare. “It’s the illness making you say random stuff. Yeah, that must be it.”

At this point, he had squeezed out the last droplets of water out of the poor tissue he was almost tearing but he had stopped paying attention to it long ago, merely repeating the action like a robot.

Nightmare frowned, leaning toward Dream and brushing the top of his hand with his fingers. The other didn’t try to push him away. “Dream, I’m serious. I’ve been repressing those feelings for a while now but I’m done doing that. You make me happy and I want to be with you, it’s as simple as that.”

He was about to continue until Dream shook his head, a sort of pained expression on his face. “Nightmare…”

His eyes focused on his face as he spoke, contrasting with the way Dream was avoiding looking at him. “You know that I…” He shook his head. “We can’t be together, not like that.”

His heart dropped. “Why?”

“Because if somebody were to find out— Hell, if they even figure out that you said that and I didn’t… report anything then we would both be executed!” He exclaimed, frowning as if the image of them both tied up to burning wood was already engraved in his mind.

Nightmare inched closer to the other, the hand on the other’s brushing past his knuckles to grip his wrist. “I know that but I’m willing to try anyway, if it means being with you I don’t mind—“

“No!” Dream shouted, making him flinch. He pulled his hand back from Nightmare’s, finally looking in his direction. “We can’t—“ He bit his lip before sucking in a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. “We can’t take the risk.”

“Dream—“

“No, listen to me this time, Nightmare. We can’t. If we’re caught, I would lose you and we wouldn’t be able to do anythin—“

“DREAM.” He yelled, gripping his shoulders. That effectively got him to shut up, not expecting that. “Calm down alright? Take deep breaths.”

He listened, still looking like he had seen Death itself waiting at his doorstep. “Good, now listen carefully. They won’t find out and even if they do…” Nightmare’s eyes darkened as he reminisced about that woman he stabbed a few months ago. “They won’t do anything.”

“How… can you be so sure about that?” Nightmare merely smiled, hugging the other.

“Just trust me, okay?”

“… Alright, but let go of me, I don’t want to catch your cold.”

“Dude fuck off, why did you have to ruin the moment? Also hug me back I’m freezing.”

“You’re literally burning.”

“weLL IT SURE DOESN’T FEEL LIKE IT. NOW HUG ME.”

“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT, STOP SCREAMING IN MY EARS.”

[witla]

2023 Year Review

Hello!

So first of all I wanted to make this on audio like I did on 2020, but honestly I don’t think I have time and room to record my voice lol.

Second holy shit the last time I did this was in 2020 itself, why I didn’t make this on 2021 or 2022? Idk maybe I didn’t want to talk about it, but I’m going to have a brief mention of things about them here.

So 2023…

It was a very zig zag year for me to be sure

First, I’m quite disappointed on myself because I didn’t make much art like I did before, if you see my archive on tumblr, you can see the gaps between months and the amount of drawings I did (not a lot), I wish I could have made more art, but when you get on a job, your brain gets fried and artblock its inevitable.

Speaking of my job…oh boy, at first I was excited to finally got settled in a job to make my own money and such (I entered last year on August), but the more time I’ve been, the more unwelcomed I felt, let’s just say that I haven’t click much with my coworkers like I did before, my bosses are not there at all, and I just feel like a ghost, not appreciated, but I don’t want to quit yet because I don’t think I can find a job that quickly after quitting one, I want to have more experience and such. I just hope we can have a better environment again like before.

In terms of health, God, it’s been my more painful year yet, sickness after sickness after sickness, at least I went to the hospital once for brief hours, its better because the period of 2020-2022, I’ve been on the hospital like five times a year for days. And let’s not talk about how my moods swings went and so on, my mental health was on the verge of breaking, so much that I was ready to say goodbye to the world like the fifteen time…

But I didn’t

Why?

Because despite all this toxicity and this negativity in my personal life, some things are worth to live for.

It’s worth to hear your dad say “I love you” and cook you the food you love, to say that he will help you no matter what, and appreciate you and say how smart and beautiful you are.

It’s worth to hear your brother say he worries about you, and wants you to be okay, to send you memes, images and videos to laugh with the most surreal humor we gen z have.

It’s worth to hear your sister tell you about her hyper fixations, to hear her silly but funny ideas and contribute alongside her, to see her draw with acuarelas, and show you the weird but funny videos she laughs about.

It’s worth to have your grandma let gift you things you don’t really need, but it’s still appreciated and hugs you and kisses you, when she loves you despite your low self-stem.

It’s worth to hear your uncles and aunts to say how are you beautiful you are, how they love the way you laugh, the way you smile, they say keep that cute smile of yours always.

It’s worth to see your cousins, talk to them, hug them, and play alongside them UNO cards and videogames, especially when they also have the same interest as yourself and understands you when no one else does.

Its worth to see your dogs, pet them, see how they wave their tail at you, how they get happy when they see you coming back home after work,

Even if we bicker and a lot for the most minimum things, we love each other, typical Mexican family lol, but yeah my family has been a big support in this year.

Also I’m proud of myself, I had the guts to join a dance group, specifically an Ori Tahiti group, I learned to dance something that I wasn’t familiar with, not only that, I learned more about Polynesian culture and language, and it that group I made some friends, my teacher is a very open minded and lovely person, after my exam, she wrote on a paper of how if I have more confidence in myself I might be also present as a solo dancer (WOW).

Learning to dance definitely improved my physical and mental health (a little bit yeah because I have my downs) like I lost a significant amount of weight thanks to it, and seeing the others dance and talk with them and dance alongside them, it’s also worth to live for, they definitely boost my confidence.

And even if it’s a bit cheesy, some media I watched and played, it was worth it, it helped me in the bad times, it helped me to have fun, to feel fun again, to enjoy my life, thank you!!!.

So yeah, even if my year had ups and downs, I’m ready for next year

I hope things get better with me, but no only me, to everyone, I hope it becomes a better year around the world, please be a better year for those who need it!

If you read this, well thank you for having the time to read it!

To my followers, thanks for sticking with me, even if I have a small following, I appreciate you a lot and I love you!!!!!!!!

Good news is that I finally made more pieces of art, although it’s my usual personal weird, surreal, abstract pieces of art based on my struggles, good things, just surreal shit and songs I listen too, also made new OCS so… I’m hoping to upload them soon on January!

Happy New Year!

See you soon on 2024!!!

An Witlacosh

[godslino]

Hey thereee

So girl who decided to intricately tell you what she thinks about your writing is back RAHHH IT'S EVEN BETTER THIS TIME!?

what the hell was piece by piece.

I had an exam like a couple of hours ago (😧 changed the trajectory of my life fr) and after I finished studying for it yesterday, I wanted to take some time off and relax, decided to go through your work and god am I happy that I did so.

I asked you this the last time as well, but I'll ask you again.

How.

Do.

You.

Write.

So.

Well.

Like Minho Stan or not, this was such a giggly, leg kicking, blushing little story that has been presented so freaking well. Every one has been written so well like the way you decided to do the little 'dude is that the good pizza from down the street' like RAHH THE WAY I STARTED CACKLING.

You presented the characters so well, their relationships so well and what I love love LOVEEEE are the little details authors add to stories. Some that I noticed in piece by piece:

"No fornicating on the furniture" LIKE A HSVSHSHHAHSAHA STOP.

"princess" 😋😋🫶

"A man after my heart" I'm GIGGLING HEHEHE

Word like 'saccharine' and 'rabbiting' like mwahh your vocab is so sexy dude.

The way Minho is so shyyyyy like this is the first little fic I think I've seen in which Minho gets THIS SHY. (I'm whipped for shy Minho stfu)

And now the drumroll please *🥁🥁*

THE STORY.

😋😋😋

Me throughout the plotline:

I wanna eat this shit up, like this fic is so me, so what I want to read after lots of stress, so I just fried my brain up but this makes it a hundred times better, so BEAUTIFUL.

So all over, I just wanna say a BIG thankyou for bringing a smile to my face even when I was sitting in the exam hall, still thinking about this sweet baby of a story.

MWAHH THANKYOU LOOVEEE

would you think i was crazy if i said this review made me cry?? BECAUSE IT DID.

first, i’m honored that you chose to read my work as a reward for studying like oh my god. that’s one of the most rewarding things FOR ME as a writer it gives me all the warm fuzzies in my little author heart.

second, i LOOOOVE piece by piece. there is a very soft spot that i have for shy boy minho, mostly because i don’t really see him written that way. if you ask me, i think he’s the most shy out of all the skz members when it comes to anything related to dating. soft, gentle, etc. so please expect him to be written like that 9/10 times when you read my stuff bc i’m one of his biggest advocators.

and third, one of my favorite parts about writing is making it personal not only to the reader but also to the characters. i LOVE adding bits and pieces that serve as some sort of a call-back to something that happened earlier on or just better portray their humanity because i find that it’s easier to create a connection with the story and have it create a lasting effect. and i’m SO HAPPY that was the case here.

i seriously can’t thank you enough for your feedback, it helps me be not only a better writer but a better person. you are an amazing human and i bet you ROCKED that exam. i remember how much i dreaded tests in college so this is me sending you all the good vibes for a kick ass score 🫶

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUU FOR EVERYTHING!!

all the love, ina 🤍

[cas-coding]

My brother in christ...your post about trans Jack was so real fr fr.... like, cas not understanding the minutia of gender and the trans experience for humans but understanding that Jack is a boy and just leaving it at that. I got it as (forgive me if I'm wrong) Cas learning everything he knows about the topic from Dean who is pretty cagey about it and uses as few words as possible when he has to discuss it. Cas knowing that its a human taboo to discuss things like this without the person briging it up themselves and jack not knowing it was something he had to ask about, not knowing how humans understabd it. Cas knowing that Jack being a boy is indisputable but not knowing that Jack himself doesn't know this in the sense that he doesn't know anything about gender and everything, he just knows he's a boy. God, something about trans dean being a dad to trans Jack is just so gkdigstsotsots.

Sorry if this was impossible to understand, my brain is fried from uni exams but your trans dean makes my brain go bzz bzzzzz

oh my god thank you so much i literally love reading your comments,,,, strap in for my long analysis where i share every detail of my thought process with you akdfjdalgj

i've been absolutely devouring trans!jack fics lately and i felt like the thing they always get wrong is that cas doesn't understand human gender and i really don't think he ever will. i'm so glad the detail that he learned everything from dean and realized how essential gender is to some people from dean came across, because that's exactly what i intended!! cas just knows that it's really important to dean that he's a man and dean hates talking about how important it is that he's a man, so cas applies the same rules to his conversation with jack

obviously biology is weird for jack because he's half angel but the general thing that kind of went on with him (and i didnt find a way to fit this in the first draft but it might go in the ao3 version of this story, but who knows when i'll get that up) is that he feels like a boy but got his concept of gender completely from his bond with cas, so he molded himself after cas. the bits of cas he can't see... well he assumed he and cas had the same bits. they do not. but jack's grace starts to fade and he gets his period and ugh,,,,

usually i dont like writing sam because he always feels kind of awkward to me (chalk it up to jarpad's bad acting, because sam really is a cool character) but here he felt like he had a purpose??? he is essentially pulling jack back to earth and being kind of a mediator for it all, knowing dean is the better option for something like this because sam is the one who helped dean through his trans discovery, and just knowing that it's not his place to speak on it because he doesn't understand. i eat up trans!sam fics but he's written as cis here for a reason,,,,,,, and it kind of pained me but he was doing the actual intelligent ally thing: he called a trans person and was like hey! you're gonna be better at this than me, and i care about this person, so i'm calling on better help than i can give,,, and honestly i adore him for that

finally dean??? where do i start with dean.,,,,,, he is so repressed. deeply. and i tried to write it so that was obvious, the way he kind of stumbles his way through the biology lesson and says that it's awkward and tries to wiggle his way out of it but he also knows it's not about him. he understands that jack needs him, and he isn't forced to come out to jack, isn't forced to tell him anything personal, but he does, because he knows it will help jack. selfless!dean for the win,,,,,, because at his core, dean is a caretaker and im so mad that they didnt do that in the show between jack and dean. i feel like dean is meant to nurture and raise and take care of and coach jack and i took my opportunity here. dean kept the conversation light and i just loved the silly scene where jack is like "im not a real boy" and dean is like "well am i a real boy" and jack is like "yes of course!!" and dean is like "haha checkmate" obviously thats not the dialogue but i feel like that is peak dean and jack and i hate that the show didnt give that to us. anyway

tldr everyone in the show is trans even tho sam was cis ally here, cas will never understand gender, jack is going thru it, and dean is a caretaker at heart

also i love you have a wonderful day i loved answering this <33

[st4rmika]

31st january, 2024

its strange how i would wake up everyday and be surprised that we were still in the middle of january but now that i look back, this month felt really short. i’m not sure if i am glad about this month ending as its only taking me closer to my exams, but they’re in the future and we do not ruin our present by thinking about things that are neither real nor existing yet.

today was a really busy day, i was supposed to finish a little bit of chemistry as well but i was really tired and bored after finishing biology. hopefully, it won’t stress me out too much tomorrow. i planned on solving previous years papers for biology tomorrow in school, my brain is coming up with all sorts of scenarios of all the ways things could go wrong but what if things go right? no, things will go right and as they’re supposed to anyways, there’s no point in me worrying, god has my back.

i came across some really beautiful video edits today, they made me really happy. i lost my favourite sticky notes, they had the sky painted on them, i’m not too stressed about it, i know i will find them soon.

i woke up feeling a little anxious today, i had a dream about them after quite a while. Even though i do not like thinking especially dreaming of them, this dream helped me realize that my efforts on trying to let go are working and i am so proud of myself for that.

i realized if i truly need to let go i will need to forgive myself and them. i am not ready to forgive them yet, but i will work on it, for myself.

i made myself fries and instant noodles for breakfast, not the healthiest but at-least they made me happy. i also made myself some coffee in the evening, it tasted okayish, perhaps i need to search up some good coffee recipes.

i studied most of the time today, i realized that i actually do enjoy studying as long as i do not have to repeat the entire chapter to myself audibly haha. genetic technology is a little bit of a difficult chapter, even though i have tried my best to memorise it well, i will still need to revise it early in the morning.

my room is super dark and my cat is sleeping next to me, i think i am ready to call it a day, i will need to meditate a little to slow down my heart rate before going to bed though.

i hope i get to see those kittens again tomorrow.

[cheemken]

I always thought that Wonder Trades require Nintendo Online or something so I just… yeah nope lol

And I really hope Metagross is a Violet thing! It can join my Dragomach in the pseudo-legendaries haha

Good luck to your summer classes haha, I am just glad that I don’t have to like study anymore since it’s just practical from now until August… actually when I put it like that, I have to study still but I had exams yesterday and today, my brain is fried like a chicken nugget

Oh god it is so hard to recognise cheemken as chicken and not… well, you probably don’t want to know haha, nothing bad I promise

By the way… I saw an ask about the list of names you have there… don’t suppose you could share all your very cool names haha

Ohh yeah that's fair ig, Nintendo stuff do be confusing that's why I just use my Google acc for Unite hahah

And oh? A pseudo legends team? You should add Goodra ouo hahahah

Well hey still tho, you should take a break na, especially after exams bc man I get that feeling jcmdnd hahah so hey just do what you wanna do for the meantime before studying and such, it's probs for the best, and hey don't forget to drink water uwu

And as for the names, yeah have, under the cut ouo

Might be good for ocs or y'know, or just smth to go by in another social or smth hahaha

[tavina-writes]

Hello! I am mildly late but I am somehow not surprised about the situation with these votes :DDD

real summaries and concepts below the cut!

local man has bad time for forever due to generational trauma: everyone who voted for this has to know which one this is I think. I never shut up about this wip. This Xichen's horrible post canon misadventures where he gets married and then has to cope with the revelations, navigate fatherhood, and realize that you can't stay in your room for the rest of your life and oh boy is there a lot of life still left to live!

prison is bad when your next door neighbor likes opera too much:

This one is one of my harebrained NHS/QS fics where they're prison neighbors in Nightless City and have to pretend to be besot childhood sweethearts and fake married except maybe REAL marriage? But also NHS has been singing the same opera verse for the past 4.5 hours and Qin Su wants to reach through the bars and strangle him dead.

insane dilf suffers emotional damage pt 2:

this is the sequel/prequel/something or other of the JYL/WRH fic that I lost my mind over last month. comprised of all the scenes that somehow didn't make it into the first 48k and everything else I am swirling around in my brain! :D

fried koi:

This is actually a concept where Meng Shi marries a scholar gentry guy who has like 3 daughters from his first marriage and no sons, so JGY gets adopted by him. Years later, when Liu Yao is preparing to take the imperial exams, he ends up hiding his bedraggled half brother Jin Zixuan in his carriage, and potentially driving him to Yunmeng because the Wen are searching for him. This turns up all sorts of problems for both half siblings.

No concrete title or summary as of yet!

local man would rather not be here:

This one is a genderswapped Yanli au where he's sworn brothers with Jin Zixuan and just. having the worst time. the worst of worst times.

No concrete title or summary as of yet!

the worst marriage fic you've ever heard of:

This is my "if Yanli survived Nightless City and JC very much did not" fic! Where LWJ and JYL end up in a platonic marriage of convenience and about 13/16 years later, WWX's second life arrives and he has to flee immediately to Dongyin because he can't uh, destroy Shijie's SECOND MARRIAGE. Ft. approximately 5 Yu ladies.

I gender swapped someone and found this really funny:

Lan-gugu verse where LQR is actually a woman. No I don't know what this is besides kind of funny, but ye god: please imagine LQR attending discussion conferences like this: :|

no title or summary as of yet!

nonlocal squirrel having a mental breakdown:

This one is an offshoot alternate universe where Meng Yao from my Nie Brothers age swap ends up in Canon CQL directly post Sunshot and starts having a mental breakdown on NMJ immediately while shaking him back and forth until he resembles a bobblehead bc it's like MING-DIDI WHY ARE YOU A SECT LEADER. WHERE IS DA-GE. DID HE DIE. DID HIS HEALTH FINALLY GIVE OUT ON HIM. WHAT IS HAPPENING. IS THAT WHY YOURE A JOYLESS ANGRY GUY NOW.

This helps exactly nobody. NMJ is baffled.

no title or summary as of yet for this one either!

now I really want to know which one you guys would vote for now that we know what these are...

Out of Context WIPs

Rules: Pick a bunch of your WIPs and summarize them as badly as possible, then ask your followers to vote on which one they’d be most likely to read. Multiple/all/none options are completely optional.

tagged by @thebiscuiteternal and @fortune-maiden

tagging: @iamwestiec, @saiditallbefore, @nemaliwrites, @nemainofthewater, @thebansacredbanned, @marquisguyun, and anyone else who sees this who wants to play!

ooo I never know how this is supposed to go, let's see:

:D I omitted all the big bang, reverse bang, and exchange related works and these are all MDZS/CQL works!

[ante--meridiem]

Finally finished my exams today, thank goodness. Don't really think I could have lasted through any more. (Also my timekeeping skills have taken a severe downwards plunge.

Exam 1: Arrived half an hour early just in case

Exam 2: Arrived with ten minutes to spare

Exam 3: Arrived with five minutes to spare

Exam 4: Ran into the exam hall as the invigilator started reading the instructions)

So I'm officially back now, and probably going to reblog one of those writing prompt lists soon because I want to get back into writing with something that isn't too daunting a project.

[jeongvision]

bandaids

synopsis. in the midst of finals season, where routine takes over your lifestyle, you find solace in the voice of your most important person that always seem to know when you’re at your breaking point.

pairing. boyfriend! kim doyoung ✗ student! fem! reader

genre. fluff, angst, slice of life, hurt/comfort, college au, non idol au, established relationship au

word count. 1.8k words

warnings. cursing, mentions of anxiety, depictions of a mental breakdown

song. bandaids by keshi

author’s note. after looking at my calendar, it has come to my attention that it’s that time of the year: finals season. i just want to let all of you know that you are doing a great job. you made it this far and i’m proud of you. i promise you, you will get through this. hopefully this could give comfort in the midst of your studies. love you all.

friends of flowers fragile silence stand beside you stop your crying

If there is one thing that all college students could agree on, it’s that finals seasons are the absolute worst thing to ever go through in college. You’re constantly spending every night at the library with your eyes glued onto your textbooks, your brain rushing to keep up in retaining all the pertinent information needed for your exams. You’re devoting hours onto your laptop with your fingers typing away on your keyboard, internet tabs and pages cluttering your screen as you rush to reach the minimum page count required for your courses.

So many times you have declined all your friends’ requests for study dates or a simple get-together because you just don’t have the luxury to. As much as you’d love to take a break from your studies, you feel like you’re running out of time. It has gotten to the point where your boyfriend has to remind you every now and then to take breaks as he gets concerned for your well-being. And just when you thought you were done with one exam or assignment, you look back on your planner only to find out that there’s more to complete. It’s like your pile just doesn’t seem to lessen with each passing day, your mentality on the brink of collapse.

Just where is the end to all of this?

You are currently perched over your desk, packets of case studies splayed out on top of your corrections textbook. Your laptop screen shines bright at the corner, documents filled with infinitesimal texts and numbers. To your right lies your essential oil diffuser, planted right on your nightstand with fumes of aroma wafting through the air. You took your best friend’s suggestion in purchasing an aromatherapy diffuser to help relieve some stress you’ve accumulated from your studies. Lavender should help out, she said. But to your dismay, you don’t feel a single ounce of it lifting from your shoulders. Forcing your brain to believe its effective properties only puts your head more into a strain.

That’s when you felt a sharp pain rip through your skull. ‘Great,’ you groaned to yourself, ‘another fucking headache.’ You dropped your pen on your notebook and rubbed your fatigued eyes, the pressure from your fingertips massaging away. “God, I can’t wait for this semester to be over with already.”

Crossing your arms, you found your phone lying in the middle of your bed. You forgot that you left it on ‘do not disturb’, finally realizing why you didn’t hear your phone ring in the past few hours. You grabbed your phone off your bed. 2:58 am, it reads. Unlocking your phone, you skimmed through your notifications, your fingers swiftly responding to certain messages cluttered up in your phone until you reached to this one particular conversation:

hey babe (sent by doie <3, 11:01pm)

hope you’re eating your meals and drinking water (sent by doie <3, 11:01pm)

just want to let you know that i’m proud of you (sent by doie <3, 11:02pm)

always am and always will (sent by doie <3, 11:02pm)

love you (sent by doie <3, 11:02pm)

You could feel a smile blooming on your lips. It has been a while since you’ve seen Doyoung, let alone hear his voice. Is it too late to call him? ‘He might be sleeping,’ you thought to yourself. ‘Should I?’ Biting your lip, you mustered up the courage and decided to call him. Placing your phone against your ear, you awaited his call. The sound reverberates through your eardrums, the anticipation of having your call picked up diminishing with each passing ring. And just when you were about to give up, the tune stops short on its last ring.

“Hello?” a deep voice croaks.

You softly smile at the sound of his voice. “Hey,” you whispered. “Did I… wake you up?”

“No, no.” You hear him shuffling on his end, to what you could assume to be from his movements in his bed sheets. “Not at all, baby.” You couldn’t help but let out a giggle, touched over the fact he’s easing your guilt of awakening him from his much-needed slumber. “What’s wrong? You need something?”

You shrugged your shoulders, a habit you’ve developed when talking on the phone with someone. “No, not really.” You run your fingers through your hair before rubbing the nape of your neck. “I just missed you, that’s all.”

He lets out a tired chuckle. “I missed you, too.”

You hum a little, “How are your finals?”

He scoffs. “Shit.”

“Not surprised,” you giggled. “You only have one more left, right?”

“Yeah. Chem 4. After that, I’m ready to sleep for a whole week straight.”

“Can I join you in your sleeping session?”

“You most certainly can.”

You both shared a laugh, your mind finally distracted from the strenuous documents that resided on top of your desk. “I call dibs on being the small spoon.”

He chortles. “You’re funny.”

“Hey! It’s only fair.”

“That’s what you said when you ate my share of fries the other week.”

His voice was much livelier than before, fully awakened from his rest now. You missed the jolly feeling you’d get when you talked to him. All those days and nights spent by his side where nothing else mattered in the world except for your boyfriend, whispering loving affirmations to you just like always. You really did miss him, and you can’t wait for this semester to be over to spend quality time with him again.

“Hey, y/n?” he called out.

“Hm?”

“You know that all I ever ask of you is to be honest with me?”

Your smile drops. You know where this is going, and frankly, you’re not sure if you’re ready to have this conversation again. Time after time, he would start a conversation with that question followed by his ongoing concerns wrapped in his mind. Sometimes he would ask for your second opinion, but most of the time they were diverted to you, his forever lover. And you knew this time, this is going to be about you.

Your free hand fiddled with the ends of your finger as you chew on your lip again, your eyes peering down to your lap.

“... yes,” you murmured.

You could hear your heart beating through your ears, the silence deafening the space that encompassed you around. Neither one of you uttered a sound to the other, too afraid to whisper through the thick tension planted in the air. Outside your dorm, there are muffled footsteps fading in and out by your door, most likely from your dorm neighbors coming back from another one of their library sessions. He lets out a soft sigh on his end, not one filled with annoyance, but filled with worry, his attention all focused onto you.

“... are you okay?”

And just like that, you felt the dam inside you crumble to ashes. The mask that you’ve held from the past few weeks is finally dissolving, the facade released from its shackles. Weeks of putting up a front, telling yourself that everything is okay, is now coming to end. ‘I’m fine,’ you would say to yourself. ‘This is nothing, I can handle this myself.’

Oh but darling, there’s only so much you could take in. Not everyone is perfect, and not everyone is indestructible. May we all be human, for we laugh, cry, smile, frown, scream, shout, cheer.

Tears burned through your eyelids, blurring your line of vision as you tried to hold yourself together. You shakily let out a sigh. “.... no,” your voice cracks. Another deep sigh, and you felt a tear drip down your cheek. “I’m… I’m tired, Doyoung.” More tears cascade down your cheeks, bringing your sleeves up to wipe them away with each drop. “I’m exhausted, Doyoung. I’m tired.. of all of this. I’m—”

With the phone still pressed against your ear, you sobbed into the night, finally pouring all your boxed-in emotions out to your lover. You cried out your frustrations, your anger, your desolace. Long have your soul been used to routine that you forgot what warmth felt like. To be cared for, watched for, and loved for.

Your sleeves soaked up all your tears, your eyelids certainly swollen from the sudden rush. You take even breaths, calming yourself down from your breakdown. Throughout your cries, never once did Doyoung strayed away from you, ears firmly pressed against his ear. He took in all, every last drop to mitigate the cold shell you’ve developed over time. He said nothing, only offering his presence as a sort of comfort to you for the time being. Once silence took over, all your tears spent, that’s when he spoke up.

“You did well, y/n.”

You breathing hitches for a moment, heart skipping a beat from his words.

“I’m so, so proud of you, y/n. You made it this far into the semester and for that, I’m proud of you.”

And alas, your smile returns. Minuscule it may be, but it’s more than what you could ask for. The feeling of having your shoulders lifted from your burdens made you feel like you could fly again, soar up in the clouds. Your best friend certainly knows how to cheer you up the most.

“Sorry about all of that,” you chuckled.

“Don’t be sorry.”

You shook your head. “No, I am. You literally just heard me have a breakdown and cry with snots all over the place—”

“I don’t give a damn about all of that, y/n.” There’s a slight shuffle on his end. “I love you for you, and that’s never going to change. I will love you at your lowest, and I will love you at your highest. Even when you feel like there’s no hope left in this world, I will bring you back to earth and hold you and remind you that you are hope.”

Just when you thought you had no more tears left in your system, you could feel the waterworks starting again. You bite down on your lower lip, desperately holding it in as love overcomes you.

“You did well, y/n. Only two more finals to go and you’re finally free.”

You wipe away the stray tear that befallen on your cheek. “Thank you, Doyoung. Really.”

“Now go out there and kick some ass for me, alright? Show those professors who’s the boss around here.”

You giggled. With your two fingers on your temple, you did an informal salute. “Yes, sir.”

“That’s my girl.”

Let this be a reminder to you, to all, that there will always be one person that will love you at your lowest, and will always be there to help pick you back up.

i’m afraid that bandaids are no good for heartache not okay, so tell me when your world is falling down

[saintorchid]

DJUNGELSKOG

On your last day of midterms and Nanami decides to buy you the stuffed animal you had your eye on for a while. 

___________

A/N: It’s midterm week for me and what's better than not studying for my exams? Writing about Nanami Kento <3

Warnings: mentions of sex

___________

"Oh my god, I seriously think that I am going to cry," you said in your frustrated laced voice. It was the last day of midterms, and you have spent the past several hours studying at your school's library. Every day since the beginning of the week, you set a routine: wake up at 6 am, head to school by 7:45 am, study before you head for one of your exams, go home, take a nap, wake up, have dinner, study, and finally ending the night sleeping. But that wasn't the only thing stressing you out. What you really needed was your boyfriend, Nanami Kento.

Due to your conflicting schedules, you rarely saw each other. Nanami was your biggest supporter in anything you did. You wanted to learn how to knit him a scarf, and he bought you a kit with pretty yarn. Did you want to maintain a small herb garden? Say no more. He surprised you with basil, rosemary, lemon balm, and thyme plant pot. He wanted you to succeed. Knowing that you rarely saw him made your heartache even more. You had an hour left until your final midterm then it was spring break. You thought about all the things you wanted to do with Nanami over your break. Slowly indulging in your daydream, you suddenly received a text from Nanami. 

"Good Luck on your last Midterm, Sweetheart <3. I know we haven't seen each other, but I have a special surprise for you when you get home. My break is over. I'll see you soon, my love. I love you to the moon and back." 

A surge of motivation hit you like a wave. You were going to ace this last midterm and head home to your boyfriend. Studying for a bit more, finally satisfied with your effort, you faced your last midterm. 

Your professor explained the details of the exam and gave the class two hours to complete it. After some time passed, fellow students got up around you and turned their exams in. You moved your pencil swiftly across the exam, making sure you have everything right. You were the last student to leave. After you turned in your exam, you wished your professor a nice spring break, and they wished the same to you. 

Feeling like you just conquered the world, you finally headed home, home to him. You entered your shared house only to be dimly lit with candles and the smell of Italian food cooking on the stove. You saw Nanami pick some of the basil you were growing and put into his famous pasta sauce, which he refused to share until the two of you were married. 

You kept staring at him until you notice that his tall figure was right in front of you.

You were about to say something, but Nanami silenced you with a kiss before saying, "Welcome home, sweetheart."

His hand was on your cheek, and you raised your hand to caress his hand slowly. 

"I'm home, Nanami."

He pulls you into a swift hug and promptly tells you to take a shower. 

You follow his command and head towards the bathroom. The hot water washed away your tiredness. You stood still, enjoying the water trail down your body. 

Once you were done, you changed into a set of comfy pj's and were greeted to a table filled with Italian dishes that you couldn't name, but you weren't complaining. 

The both of you took a bite of the delicious food. You moan audibly because all you had this week was quick, easy meals like instant ramen. This is the first day you had a home-cooked meal, especially if Nanami made it. 

Nanami sets his fork down and asks, "How come you don't moan like that when we have sex?"

You choke on your food and reach out for the glass of water next to you. Chugging the water, you see him smirking in the dim kitchen lights. You miss him and his teasing so much it made you beet red. 

You answered, "Because you fuck me so hard that no sound comes out of my mouth, dummy."

He is pleasantly surprised at your retort, which leads him to smile and say a quick sorry before giving you a wink. 

The both of you conversed, talking about school, work, and deciding which movie you two wanted to see tonight. After eating, Nanami took your plates and put them in the dishwasher. At the same time, you headed to your shared bedroom and turned on the TV using the remote to put on a movie on Netflix. 

You made yourself comfortable on your shared bed, and Nanami opens his arms so the two of you could cuddle. Still, before you can fall into his arms and cuddle, he leaps out of bed. "I have a surprise for you. It's a gift for you finishing your midterms and studying so hard," Nanami said with a proud voice. 

He leaves the room. You got lost in deep thought, wondering what type of gift he was going to give you. 

He pokes his head through the door and tells you to close your eyes. You follow his order. You hear him shifting on the bed and place the gift right on your lap. You kept thinking what it was, but before you could continue your thought, Nanami tells you to open your eyes. 

You open your eyes and screeched in happiness. Your brain was fried due to studying, and all you could do was babble. 

He laughs at your reaction, happy that you love it so much. You finally come back to earth and reach for the gift he got you. It was the famous Ikea bear, otherwise known as a "Djungelskog". 

Before you could bombard him with questions, he tells you what you wanted to hear. 

"Remember when we went to Ikea like a month ago to buy new plate wear ." You nod at his response, listening intently. He continues, "When we passed by the stuffed animal section, and I noticed you holding the bear. I asked you if you wanted it. Your mouth said no, but your eyes said yes." After dating him for 3 years, now embarrassed that this man can still see right through you. 

"Since you were busy with midterms and I barely saw you, it was perfect timing. I went to Ikea this past Tuesday while you were at school. I bought the bear and took it home and hid it in the spare closet in the hallway." 

You immediately hugged him and peppered his face with kisses. Your heart was beating rapidly, and a faint blush appeared on your face. He smiles and gives you the same treatment back. After a few moments of you two kissing softly, he pulls away, opening his arms to cuddle. With a swift motion, you lay on Nanami's chest while hugging your precious djungelskog. 

You were finally together again, and this moment the two of you shared right here was, love. 

The End. 

[voiceswithoutlips]

Calico - Chapter Eight

— pairing: Hybrid ot7 x Human Reader (Female) — genre: hybrid AU, fluff, angst, slow burn (like real slow), eventual smut — word count: 3k — Rating: G — warnings: Slight mention of past abuse, description of a panic attack. — beta: Thank you @taegularities​ and @joheunsaram​ <3

Tag List || Masterlist || Schedule

— chapter summary:

Y/N is having a hard day, who will comfort her?

— A/N: Guys, I’m so bad at summaries, if this was an exam my grades would’ve been in the negative. Anyway, welcome to the new chapter! I know I was supposed to post fallen, but somehow I ended up writing Calico instead.

I’ve had a bad case of writer’s block this week so writing this chapter was really painful, words refused to come out of my brain xD I hope you like it! You guys have been so awesome, all your feedback is really helpful. Thank you so much <3

— taglist: @lovelyseomin @anaac28 @ghostkat23 @btswdwsmhrdt @sweeneyblue1 @luvtaeha @taegularities @ aajames217 @ littlewolfieposts @nochujeonjk @hamiltrashlebo @minyoonsh @hoebii @ sunshinee0-0 @egm09 @cstobitk @splaterparty0-0 @missseoulite @mirawi-fox @sea-nevermind-enthusiast @hemmofluke @seaoffangirling @gee-nee @woopetals @secretbangtnn @vminkook-ownsme

Ch. 1  Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 3.5 Ch. 4 Ch. 5 Ch. 6 Ch. 7 Ch. 8.5

I made my way downstairs in search of breakfast. Ice cream, that’s what I needed. It was that kind of a day. I was tired, jet lagged, and the tension in the house had me on edge. The flight home was fairly uneventful, except for the part where Jimin had gotten scared of flying. He had asked to hold my hand, but by the time we were in the air, the hybrid was practically sitting on my lap. Not that I minded, he was hella cuddly and his purring was downright therapeutic.

When I had asked Jungkook, if it would be okay to bring the newer hybrids home, the bunny had sounded excited, but as soon as we had gotten home, the mood had suddenly shifted. It was not the welcome I was expecting.

First, Jungkook’s hair was the color of the rainbow. His beautiful black locks were turned into a colorful mess, his white bunny ears poking out of it in stark contrast. It was a riot of colors, artfully mixed together, and I felt like I was looking at rainbow pasta. Not that the bunny didn’t pull it off, he looked really cute in it, but somehow I had a raging suspicion that it hadn’t been Jungkook’s idea.

Then, there was the growling match. I had never seen Jungkook so aggressive before. The usually sweet and well behaved bunny had started growling at Jimin as soon as we’d entered the house.. That had set off a chain reaction with Namjoon and Seokjin joining in to protect their younger packmate.

On top of that, I had to go to Seoul for three days to take care of business. I had to visit the main office to attend a few meetings and sign some papers. The whole time I felt guilty about leaving the hybrids alone. I was constantly worried that somehow they’d end up fighting. By the time I came back, somehow, someway, Jason had managed to convince Jimin to dye his hair pink. He was on a warpath.

And lastly, there was the issue of a certain stuffed penguin that went missing -  my nights were sleepless without him. All in all, this had to have been one of the shittiest weeks, and it felt like I was losing my grip on reality.

I stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes, struggling to keep them open. Unlike Jason, who was cheerfully humming, I was not a morning person. Seokjin was busy near the stove, cooking something and by the smell wafting from the pan, I could tell that it was something delicious. I had thanked every existing god when I’d learned that the sugar glider hybrid was actually an excellent chef. The first morning, he had seen Jason cook breakfast, he’d been horrified, promptly taking over the kitchen after that. Even Jungkook had begrudgingly ate his food.

My stomach grumbled as I peered in the pan. Kimchi fried rice, delicious. Unlike Jimin and Jungkook, the two older hybrids weren’t really that affectionate. I wondered if it was because they weren’t used to me yet or if they just had a different temperament. I needed to do more research on that.

I plopped down on the chair with a groan, resting my head on the counter, hands securely wrapped around my stomach. Jason gave me an enthusiastic “good morning” and I shot him a middle finger, too tired to curse at him. The bastard chuckled.

I was debating if I should stab him with a fork when I felt hands wrapping around my waist, long fingers intertwined with mine. Jungkook bent down to nuzzle the side of my face. His muscular body pressed close. My lips curled into a small smile as I made small happy noises. My brain wasn’t awake enough to form coherent sentences yet. I needed my cup of coffee or better yet, some delicious ice cream.

Jungkook’s arms tightened around me possessively, I could feel the vibrations in his chest as he let out a low growl. I opened my eyes to see Jimin standing near the chair, looking distressed, hands balled into fists at his sides. His tail was swishing rapidly in agitation, ears flattened to his head. He was biting his lower lip, trying his best not to respond to Jungkook’s hostility.

“Bunny no,” I croaked, patting his hands, my voice thick with sleep. I lifted my head, extending a hand to Jimin. Jungkook took his cue and reluctantly let me go, keeping hold of my other hand. Jimin grabbed my hand and with his other one checked my forehead, a worried look on his face.

“Are you sick?” he asked, gnawing on his lip.

“I’m just sleepy.” He giggled at my pout and graced me with a forehead kiss. He sat down next to me, and now I was sandwiched between two hybrids who were holding my hands, glaring daggers at each other. I rested my forehead on the counter with a sigh. What was I going to do with them?

Once again I was in a dilemma. I could scold them and make them shake hands, like a couple of kids, or I could let them handle it on their own, like adults. Taking care of four hybrids was tiring. I shot a quick glance at Seokjin, who was now setting up the table; he was ignoring the two younger hybrids in front of him, but his tail was curled tightly, ears flat. It seemed as if he was tense too.

“Guys, I need breakfast,” I said, reluctantly pulling my hands from their grip. I made my way to the fridge to grab a tub of my favorite ice cream, ignoring the stares that the hybrids were giving me. I had to stop myself from pulling Jason’s ear as I passed him, not now Y/N. The revenge for ruining Jungkook’s hair had to be elaborately planned, something memorable, just like old days. Like the time when I had super glued his shirt cuffs closed, so he couldn't put his hands through the sleeves. He had started this war, I was going to finish it.

“I like your garden!” Namjoon said as he walked in through the back door. Ears perked up, an excited glint in his eyes. I didn’t even know he was out there. I wondered if he could help me with the hybrid situation, he was a pack leader after all. He had informed me about hybrid pack dynamics on the plane while I cuddled a sleepy Jimin. Apparently he was their alpha, the leader of their pack, Seokjin was second in command and Jimin was their maknae. He was excited to meet Jungkook, since he was a rabbit hybrid, they're usually very docile and friendly. Needless to say, we had both been shocked at the bunny's behavior.

“I’m glad you like it. Maybe you could help me with it?”

“Really? I would love to!”

We all moved to the seldom used dining table for breakfast - now that there were six of us, the kitchen counter was too small to occupy us all. I debated where to sit, I didn't want to take sides in the hybrid cold war, so I chose to sit at the head of the table, safe middle ground. I knew Jungkook would want to share the ice cream. I wondered if the other hybrids would too, so I had brought extra spoons, just in case.

"Seokjin, this is delicious!" Jason said as soon as he took a bite of the fried rice. "Where did you learn to cook like this?" I couldn't help but smile at the hint of envy in his voice.

"Madame hired a professional chef to teach me when she found out I liked to cook," he said shyly, ears turning pink from all the attention. It was his cutest trait: whenever someone looked at him, his ears would start to redden.

"That was nice of her," I said dryly, the distaste apparent in my tone.

"She was really nice," Namjoon said pointedly, clearly disliking my tone.

“Clair was kind, she saved us from our previous owners and gave us a home,” Jimin joined him.

"Oh?" Jason said, trying to coax some details. The three hybrids shared a quick look. Jungkook had abandoned his fried rice and was digging into my ice cream, his ears perked, listening in on the conversation.

“My first owner was a gambler, but he didn’t play poker. He and his rich friends were into blood sports. They had their own dog fighting ring. He had raised me since I was a pup, trained me to be a fighter, forced me to participate. One day, Clair saw me at a party and she wanted to buy me, she offered him so much money that he couldn’t refuse,” Namjoon finished with a sad smile. I wanted to go and hug him, but I was sure the hybrid wouldn’t welcome the gesture.

“I…” Jimin paused, looking down at his hands. “The lady who raised me, she brought me clients. She’d sell me to people… sometimes it was for a night, sometimes it was more. She used to tell me that I was her lucky charm. Clair rescued me from her, she was really kind to me.”

The spoon in my hand clattered on the table. There was a ringing in my ear. My limbs were paralyzed, heart pounding in my chest as I felt the panic rise, almost drowning in it. I couldn't get enough air, finding myself on the verge of hyperventilating while my brain went into overdrive. It wasn’t my first panic attack, I was aware of what was happening to me, I knew I had to get a hold of myself. I couldn’t lose it here, not in front of them.

“Y/N? Hey can you hear me?” I turned towards the voice, Jason’s face slowly came into focus, “are you okay?”

“Y/N?” Jungkook said, looking extremely worried. He was holding my hand like a lifeline. I slowly removed his fingers and took my hand back.

“Yes, I’m fine,” I murmured, trying to control my breathing. I got up from the chair with wobbly knees, making my way towards the door. “You guys finish up, I’ll be in my office.”

Redemption, what a joke.

It was well into the afternoon when my stomach informed me that I was hungry. I was swarmed with paperwork. I’d been busy the whole week, running errands, filling forms, trying to keep the hybrids from tearing each other apart, so the paperwork got neglected, and now I was paying for it. I briefly wondered if I should go back home and grab something to eat, but then I remembered the look on everyone’s faces this morning. I had panicked in front of them. I had been feeling restless the whole week without a certain comfort penguin. I was too embarrassed to ask the guys if they had seen it.

I groaned, leaning back in my chair. How was I going to face them? What would I tell them if they asked? A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. “Come in.”

It was Jungkook, holding a bowl. He tentatively entered the office, looking everywhere but at me. His ears were drooping behind him. “I brought you lunch,” he said, setting the bowl on the table.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away this morning,” I apologized, extending a hand towards him, which he took hesitantly. I pulled him in my lap and buried my face in his chest; he smelled like vanilla.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked, wrapping his big hands around me.

“No,” I whispered. “But don't worry bunny, I’ll be fine. I just need some sleep.”

“Is it because of Jimin? Can’t we just send him away?”

That made me raise my head to look at him. “Why don’t you like him, bun?”

“He’s too clingy,” Jungkook pouted, jutting his lower lip out. It made me giggle.

“What about Namjoon and Seokjin?”

“They can stay, Seokjin hyung makes delicious food and Namjoon hyung is so cool.”

“Oh, did you talk to them?”

He shook his head no. I almost cooed at him - the poor bunny was too shy to talk to the older hybrids. “Why don’t you try making friends with Jimin? I bet you’ll like him if you got to know him better.”

He buried his face in my hair and shook his head, “...don't wanna.”

I took his hand in mine. “Won’t you do it for me?” I asked dramatically, trying to sound upset.

Jungkook leaned back to look at me, pout more pronounced. He knew exactly what I was doing. “Fine, I’ll try,” he agreed with a defeated sigh.

“Thank you, baby.” I kissed his palm in gratitude. At least he had agreed to try. “Why did you dye your hair?” I asked curiously, running my hands through his multicolored locks.

“Iwantyoutolikeme,” he said in one breath, hiding his face in my hair again.

“What?”

“I want you to like me.”

“You dyed your hair because you want me to like you?” Jungkook nodded. “Oh baby, I already like you!” I squeezed him tight, letting him know how much he meant to me. Is that what Jason had told Jimin? That I’d like him better if he dyed his hair? Jason was diabolical, I really needed to come up with a good plan to get back at him.

“Bun, next time, don’t listen to Jason.”

I was curled up on the sofa with a blanket. It was past midnight but I was wide awake and restless, staring at the ceiling. I had almost turned on the TV, but then I remembered that there were four hybrids in the house with phenomenal hearing, and I really didn’t want to wake them up. And thus, I suffered in silence.

I hadn’t seen the three new hybrids all day; they hadn’t been introduced to the shelter yet, so they stayed at home. When I came back from work, they were already in their room. They had insisted on staying in the same room, something about new places and pack bonding. I was giving Jason the cold shoulder, at least until he apologized for his crimes. And Jungkook was busy playing his new video games.

Clair had saved Jimin.

The thought rang in my head. Why hadn’t she saved me? Would things have been different, if she had stepped in? I had to admit, I was a tiny bit jealous of the panther hybrid. She had saved him.

Madame was so kind.

I was furious. How dare she? Clair had been a coward, had lived and died as one. I knew it in my soul, never in a million years would I ever forgive that woman. She didn’t deserve it.

“You’re angry,” a quiet voice said. I looked up to see a tall silhouette standing at the bottom of the stairs. Seokjin stepped out of the shadows, clutching a pillow in his hands.

“I was thinking. Can’t sleep?”

“Namjoon snores really loudly,” he complained. It made me laugh. The three of them were always attached to the hip, I had wondered if it was because they were uncomfortable here.

“You know we have plenty of spare bedrooms, you can take any of them.”

“Why are you here?”

“I can’t sleep.” I shrugged. Seokjin nodded understandingly, but he didn’t move an inch. “Do you want to sleep on the couch?”

He hesitated, looking as if he was unsure if he should accept my offer before he murmured, “can I?”

“Of course! But I think, a bed would be more comfortable,” I said, moving from the couch to the armchair. Seokjin sat down on the couch, placing his pillow near him.

“Why can’t you sleep? Is it because of what Jimin said?” he asked cautiously, ears erect and attentive.

“I have insomnia.” I shrugged, but Seokjin kept staring at me. I squirmed under his piercing gaze;  staring at me like he could see right through my bullshit. “I didn’t have a good relationship with Clair. She raised me, but she was cruel, unkind. I just… can’t fathom her as someone nice.”

“So it had nothing to do with Jimin being a prostitute?” he asked suspiciously.

“WAIT! Is that what you guys thought? Oh my god, I would never…” I was shocked. No wonder the hybrids were avoiding me like the plague. “I’m really sorry, if it seemed that way but it's not like that. I’m really happy that Clair rescued him. He deserves a good home, a family. I don’t think you’d believe me, even if I told you what my aunt was like. I’m really sorry, if I hurt you guys. But believe me when I say that this is not a place where you’ll be judged for your past.”

“You mean that.” It was a statement, not a question.

“I do.”

“You could sleep on the couch with me?” Seokjin offered sheepishly, ears turning the color of strawberries. I was surprised to see him be so direct. He had been very reserved around me till now, only talking when necessary.

“Are you sure? Won’t you be uncomfortable?” I asked, eyeing the couch. It was big enough to seat five people comfortably, but Seokjin was big too.

He nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

Seokjin adjusted the pillow and laid down on the sofa, leaving room for me. I stood there with my hello kitty blanket, wondering if it was okay. The sudden change in the hybrid’s demeanor was unexpected and I gave up trying to dissect the situation. I had to admit, I was feeling a bit cuddly since the loss of my penguin and I desperately needed sleep. I scooched on the sofa, covering both of us with the blanket, resting my head on his arm.

“You’re not okay,” he murmured, wrapping his other arm around my waist, his tail curling around my thigh.

“I just need some sleep,” I sighed. Seokjin was like a furnace behind me. I wondered why all hybrids were this warm.

“Lies,” he said as he lightly nibbled on my ear. I gasped at the unexpected contact, my heart beating so loudly in my chest that I was sure he could hear it.

“I thought you didn’t like me,” my voice came out breathier than I had intended.

“I do, I just didn’t know how to approach you. You seem so independent, I didn’t know where I could fit in your life. The only thing I could do for Clair was look pretty. But this.... this I can do, I can comfort you. I want to be useful.”

I turned around to look at him. “Oh honey, you don’t have to be useful. You’re you and that’s enough for me. I just want you to be happy.” I lightly kissed his cheek.

“I’m going to be your comfort blanket,” Seokjin said with a smile and hugged me closer.

Previous || Next

[unanuvola]

Come sarò io e come sarai tu (con qualche giorno in più)

Pairing: Damiano David x reader; Ethan Torchio x reader

Characters: Damiano David, Ethan Torchio, Victoria De Angelis, Thomas Raggi

Genre: Romance

Warning(s): Swearing

Summary: What if after fifteen years the past you really want to forget comes back to you at work? What would you do?

Note: thanks to my friend @tezz1n for the translation <3

⁂~⁂~⁂

PROLOGUE

June 2005

It was terribly hot for the beginning of June and I was in the middle of a chaos of people. It was as if most of the Manzoni High School students had the same brilliant idea as me and were trying to grab something to eat before the Måneskin concert. My patience reached its limit when I was surrounded by armpits’ smell. God, why are guys so afraid of washing themselves? 

"Excuse me... Please…" I said while trying to break free from sweaty and sticky people.

"Let her pass that her fiancé is going to perform! She can’t wait to throw her bra on stage!" 

I heard them clearly because, after all, they weren’t trying to hide themselves and I didn’t even need to look who was talking, ‘cause I knew them all too well.  Mariani and Russo from fourth grade, two losers with little desire to study and a big desire to be a pain in the ass. They started a little while ago, but I was trying not to care too much, in a little bit more than a month the final exams would have been over and I would have not seen those bastards ever again. 

"You know what? His boyfriend? In my opinion he fucks with all of them, also the lass from International!" 

While they were still laughing, I reached my table. I took a plate and a handful of cheese fries and asked for a cup of Fanta. I thanked and turned around, fries in one hand and a fully filled cup in the other. I’ve not even had the time to take a step when someone on my right pushed me and my orange flew on Russo’s white shirt. 

"Holy shit!"

My gaze went from the orange stain growing on the fabric to the livid face of Russo and a laugh broke free. The more he looked at me with hate, the more I could not stop laughing. 

"The fuck are you laughing at, dickhead? Look at what you’ve done! Where do you think to go? Come back here, bitch!" 

But I was already slipping in between the crowd with my medium finger well high so that the two losers could clearly see it. 

I sat in front of the stage that the end-of-the-year festival committee had placed in the middle of the school yard, and took my phone from my crossbody bag. Two missed calls from mom. I rang her ‘cause obviously I had no credit and, after some minutes, the phone started to buzz.

"Ehy momy! Something happened?" 

"No, just wanted to know if you’ll be home for lunch."

"Don’t know… it depends on what they guys are going to do after the concert," I said nibbling my lips, "but this evening I’m home for sure. I’d like to speak with you about something." 

"Ok, honey! See you at dinner. Please, on time. Have a good concert and say hi to Ethan!" 

"Ok! Bye, bye, bye!" and I hung up. 

So, this evening I would have said to my parents that I’d have liked to sign up for university here in Rome and to not come back to Turin. Was I ready? Absolutely not, but that was not the time to worry myself for sure. I would have thought about it later.

The other students from the Manzoni were starting to crowd and I had to stand up. I was about to put the phone in my bag when it buzzed. A message.  

From: Damiano 

<3

Without thinking twice I gave him a ring and then I started staring at that little heart mindlessly. Shit, I’m screwed - I thought while placing the mobile in my bag and taking my oh-so-precious digital camera, a birthday gift from my parents. 

I liked Damiano, well, I liked him a lot and, inexplicably, he liked me too. I wasn’t able to understand how such a miracle was even possible, but it was and the best thing to do was to live it every single day.

The principal took the stage and, after the usual recommendations (“No pogo, no throwing things on stage and no inappropriate behaviours."), he introduced the band.

"And now a big round of applause to Måneskin!" he exclaimed, gesturing for my friends to get on stage, "Have fun everyone!"

The firsts to get on stage were Thomas and Victoria, already carrying their guitar and bass over their shoulders. Then it was the turn of Ethan. His eyes were frantically moving over the crowd until they set on me. He smiled at me before sitting behind his drums. At least, it was the turn of Damiano. He went past me and winked, I could not do or say a single thing such was my bewitchment. The long hair over his shoulders, the shirt opened that allowed a glimpse at his abs. The same abs I was caressing only some evenings ago.

"Hey-yo this is Måneskin! The first song is for you, Malibù." Damiano said at the microphone and the unmistakable notes of Luna by Verdena started to fly in the sky.

Yes, Malibù is me. No, Malibù is not my name. It’s the nickname Damiano gave me one of the first times we’ve met. And in that moment, he was dedicating me one of my favorite songs. Saying I was in cloud nine was not enough. I sang every line, at the top of my lungs, and only when they started singing the other songs I decided to take some picture. I tried my best, but I was almost sure that all the pictures would end up being blurred because the guys were moving worse than snakes. What kind of official photographer would I be if I couldn’t even take a picture in focus?

At the end of the concert - too early for my taste - I ran in the classroom that had been set as backstage. I wanted to congratulate the guys and, even more, I want to jump on Damiano, saying to him that he’d been oh-so-good and then kiss him for the rest of my life. 

The classroom door was half-closed. Instead of opening it, I peek through the crack and what I saw turned my blood into ice. Without even noticing, I started crying. I covered my mouth with my hands to lessen the sobs, but it was too late. Victoria, her lips still on Damiano’s, opened her eyes and saw me. 

I started running, fast. My eyes were burning terribly and my brain couldn’t react to what I’ve just seen. 

I have not had the time to leave the school when I felt someone grabbing my arm. Even if my sight was blurred by the tears, I turned and saw Ethan. 

"What happened?" he asked me. His voice sounded so far away, like a distant murmur, "Would you tell me what happened?". His usual composure was gone. I squirmed and ran away without looking back. 

I exit the school building not knowing that that was the last time I would have seen Damiano.