#gods most mentally ill hedgehog

[flowersnax]

I WILL BE IN LOVE FOREVER CAUSE IM GONNA DIE TONIGHT

SO PLEASE JUST HOLD ME ONE LAST TIME

BEFORE I BLOOM INTO A FLOWER OF FLESH AND SAY GOODBYE

[wc-m0ch4]

Shadow the Hedgehog x gn! Reader Headcanons

I watched all the Sonic Prime episodes in one day LMAO I LOVE IT SO MUCH

Anyways,

PROLOGUE HCS

As most hcs with this mf starts, it took forever for him to finally trust you, let alone get into a relationship with you

I mean, can you blame him really? He's lost a lot, he's gone through a ton of shit, it's kinda to be expected

He talked to Rouge one day about how he felt more comfortable around you than others and she teased him relentlessly

"Shadoooow, you like them?"

"I prefer them over others, if that answers your question. Why are you making that face?"

Lowkey funny thing, when it finally hits him that he liked you he tries to figure out why he likes you.

At first he thinks maybe it's your looks so he stares at you a lot trying to pinpoint what part of you he likes, but he's got a rbf so it concerns you gravely

"Shadow are you angry at Y/n?"

"No, of course not. Why?"

"You're kinda... glaring... at them..."

"Oh."

Then he theorizes that it must be something from your personality. So he starts asking you a ton of questions randomly, but like, theoretical questions

'What would you do if two of your best friends were drowning and you only had enough strength to save one?' Type questions y'know

Then he tries to see if it's something you do, like if you're 'useful'. So he keeps a mental tally of how many times you do something for him or others. When you pay for yours and Amy's lunch, when you give Sonic the rest of your bag of chips, when you hold the door open for Rogue, etc.

Finally he realizes that it's not something in particular, he just likes you

He reveals this revelation to Rouge and she snorts lmao

She sets up a whole date-confession-thing without either of your knowledge to get Shadow to confess

REAL TIME HCS

He's very quiet with his affection

He'll pat you on the head or back, give you a small smile, make you lunch, help you with some work, small things y'know

If you're a human and a lot taller than him he uses this to his advantage and climbs you so he can see more

^Some of the few times he will allow you to carry him

He'll text you updates about what he's doing and when he'll be home and expects you do the same

If you forget he'll scold you like a toddler lmao

Don't forget the skin-care routine and ironing the sheets every night according to the Twitter takeover LMAO (it should have been me)

He's not one for going out on dates but he does enjoy going to the library or the park with you, somewhere quiet with not a lot of people

Shadow would enjoy theatre all the way (I don't say this cuz I'm a theatre kid nope def not)

Also not a fan of PDA but he'll hold your hand or have a hand on your shoulder

He gets jealous easily lol

Like if someone starts talking or, God forbid, flirting with you he'll be standing right behind you glaring at them

His pet names are demeaning LMAO

Like how he calls Sonic 'hedgehog' it's the same for you

He'll call you more typical terms of endearment if it's laced with sarcasm

"Well, dear, if you had done like I said earlier this wouldn't have happened."

"I'm sorry, I should've known making toast was too difficult for you, darling."

Shadow has a phone and social media and the only reason is so you can send him memes you find funny to him

I like to imagine showing him a funny video and he just sits there staring at it for a bit before turning to you and going "This is hilarious."

If you're in college or work from home he'll help you with some of your work

Okay but imagine he's standing behind you helping you with homework and he leans over to grab a pencil or something and then you're pressed between him and the desk JAGFHEBAUWVDHJ– ANYWAYS

He likes keeping his space clean so if you're mentally ill like me (LMAOOO) or just messy in general he's willing to help you clean up

Just enough to keep him satisfied :)

Okay but imagine stay-at-home dates with him like:

Cooking dinner together

Laying your head on his lap while you two watch a movie

Playing games or doing puzzles

Speaking of games, game nights are a regular thing with the group and Rogue drags Shadow along so in turn he drags you along

I ask you to imagine a huge game of Uno between Sonic, Knuckles, Tails, Amy, Cream, Big, Team Chaotix, Rogue, Shadow, and you.

Yeah, fucking insanity.

If there's any game where you have to pair up Shadow immediately grabs you

Absolutely NO chance he's pairing with Sonic lol

Moving on, he likes playing with your hair

If you need help doing a complex or a protective hairstyle he's got you fr

If you wear makeup, whether it's natural or more bold, he will compliment it

He'd probably help you with your makeup too if you asked lol

On a more sad note, he has times where he gets upset about his past so just give him space or comfort, whatever he needs at the time

If he gets upset about Maria ask him about her. It helps talking about her in a positive light when she was alive than replaying her death on repeat

So if you have your own bouts of depression (*cough cough* me *cough*) he'll understand and try to help in any way he can

On a more happier note, he likes getting you gifts

Homie is a very gift giving/ acts of service type of lover fr fr

Btw dating Shadow means being friends with Rogue and Omega, no exceptions

Ugh sorry this took forever to make I'm really lazy lmao

Did you guys notice that Jacksepticeye voices a character in one of the later Sonic Prime episodes cuz I did and I almost SCREAMED–

Anyways, send in requests if you want :)

[relatableblorbopoll]

Round 1 of preliminaries, group 11

The first two places get a place on the bracket

Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracket

Propaganda under the cut

Mae Borowski (Night in the Woods)

"Spoilers! She's a college dropout in her early twenties, who suffers from untreated mental illness and dissociation and had a complete breakdown at college, causing her to come home. Now she's living with her parents again, but life in her dingy little hometown went on without her. Her friends are adults now - in a relationship and planning on moving to the big city, or having to waste away in a dead end job instead of following their dreams. Mae is the only one without a new adult role in life. She's not great with people either - she's blunt and often doesn't think things through, and in many ways just doesn't get the world of adults. She's also prone to petty crimes and general anarchy. She's kind of lost and purposeless, and trying to find meaning in life by desperately clinging to the past. Her decision to drop out of college probably saved her life, but it's also put her family in a tough financial situation and is viewed by most people as her just thoughtlessly doing whatever she wants. She's also kind of shamed a lot about not having a job or other productive role in life, despite the fact that her untreated mental issues are actually disabling for her. She also plays the bass real bad. Anyway, i love Mae a lot. Playing this game as a college dropout in my early twenties, sitting in my childhood bedroom in my mom's attic, back in my dingy little hometown, desperately missing my old friends who have all moved on to better, resposible things in life... yeah, it felt like the game was pointing dead at me. Given tumblr's general demographic, i figure i must not be completely alone in this"

Shigeo Kageyama / Mob (Mob Psycho 100)

"autistic. likes milk. if we reach a certain level of emotion we turn into a psychic bomb. cool brothers :)"

Barry the Quokka (The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog)

"Their only skill is working the microwave, they're non-binary, when seeing a trash bin their first instinct is to look through it, they're always the most normal person in the room, they can beatbox, and they were only hired due to being the only one who applied."

Kaveh (Genshin Impact)

"In a fantasy world, be a guy with a regular profession losing his goddamn mind. Poor guy has a guilt complex, (so true) and a lot of deep embarrassment regarding his life.(ehe) He just wants to do what he's passionate about but capitalism is evil and also he keeps getting scammed. Claims to not want anyone to know Things, goes into depth about these Things anyway. Is probably most definitely gay. Can be found face down on a table lamenting his fate. Terrible sleep schedule. (HA) He is such a guy. Wants to believe the world is a good place and people are inherently good. And wants to help people and do good himself. It's just hard. [And he has a roommate. Oh my god he has a roommate]"

"He was, and still is, regarded a genius. He aced his Akademiya days, he has the admiration and appreciation of so many people because he is oh-so remarkable. But what for, when reality is that he sits at home depressed and with guilt consuming him, faking the image people have of him, not only broke as fuck but actually in debt, drowning his sorrows in wine."

Yusuke Kitagawa (Persona 5)

"highschooler who wants to spend the rest of his life doing what he loves. is obsessed with art and beauty and it's on his mind 24/7 received help from his now friendgroup to break from his abusive foster father who he still have complicated feelings with had to move into school dorms and am struggling to live independantly since he'd rather spend money and time on his art but he's still surviving and enjoying the good times id say also ends up saying whatever is on his mind and is pretty eccentric. very passionate about what he loves. doesn't want to do anything else."

Nanami Kento (Jujutsu Kaisen)

"Ex-salaryman, now jujutsu sorcerer. During one life-and-death fight, kept talking about how it was almost six pm with is when he is getting off work at 6pm no matter what because he hates overtime. While his opponent repeatedly almost kills him. Normalest adult in this shonen anime. Teen MC: "Let's go all out!" Nanami: "No. Where moderate effort will suffice, use moderate effort." Some of his quotes from the anime: "I studied at Jujutsu Tech and one thing I learned is that Jujutsu Sorcerers are shit! Then I worked at your typical company and one thing I learned is that work is shit! If both are equally shit I'll take the one I'm more suited to." "You've faced several life-or-death situations, but that does not make you an adult. Finding more fallen-out hairs on your pillow, watching your favourite stuffed bread disappear from the convenience store... The accunulation of these little despairs is what makes a person an adult." "I don't praise or disparage anyone. I adhere to facts and judge on that basis. That's who I am. There was a time when I mistakenly believed society operated the same way." "

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

it fucks me up that like. metal sonic used to have a ton of characterisation and just from his like ten lines in heroes had a ton of complexity and then he just got fucking ignored despite having the potential to easily be the best character in the franchise. like even back in cd his sprites were full of personality! he recreates sonics finger wag before the start of the race! he has his death animation! it’s cute! but it also shows from the start that he's obviously sentient and not a mindless machine. he's cocky and adrenaline-fuelled like sonic, but in a way devoid of any sense of kindness or empathy. and this is expanded upon beautifully in the ova! his characterisation is the absolute highlight of that movie and his suicide at the end is an extremely tragic but extremely fitting end to that version of him.

metal sonic's character is one defined by monomaniacal obsession. he is literally designed only to surpass sonic. from creation, he has known and he always has known he exists only in relation to sonic. he is designed after him, his personality is modelled on him, and he is programmed to view defeating him as his only worth. he's the ultimate character to rival sonic, because that’s all he exists for, in universe. he cannot conceive of an existence that is not devoted to destroying him. this is established as a character trait as early as the ova, and it’s one that’ll be expanded upon as the series progresses.

the ova explores the tragedy of that, but heroes, metal sonic's grand return after cd (after numerous really fucking cool appearances in spin-offs and being a major unlockable in sonic adventure dx bc he is cool and the best sonic character and I have no bias), explores the horror. in the ova, he allows himself to burn to spare sonic, but what if he doesn’t learn compassion and empathy? what if he's still the same cruel, pointlessly violent metal in cd? the metal sonic of the games would not sacrifice himself for sonic's sake. he wants nothing more than to defeat him. he despises him, yet in a way he also wants to be him. sonic is everything he cannot be. both in the sense that he beats him, again and again, but in that he has free will, in that he has friends, in that he has a life.

and, in his most sonic-like moment, metal sonic rebels against his programming.

but this metal sonic is not one that has learnt kindness, like the ova metal. he is angry. he knows nothing but destruction because he is destruction. and he never, ever gives up. he wants to prove to himself that he can defeat sonic, that it was his creator holding him back. that he can be better than eggman, that he can be better than sonic. that he can be sonic. that he is sonic. that the other hedgehog calling himself sonic is merely a fake.

metal sonic, in sonic heroes, is delusional. and not in the sense of “scary insane person woah!” ableist nonsense, he's genuinely, deeply lost in the grasp of a delusion. metal sonic's existence is one that will inevitably lead to severe mental illness. he's stuck in a cycle where he feels nothing but pain and can never achieve what he wants. the concept of metal sonic in heroes is terrifying in his rage, but even more horrific is the idea of being him. despite his arrogance, metal sonic is in pain, and his response to that is to lash out violently. and also to become god.

metal sonic upgrades himself to the point of godhood. he is angry, and he is scared, and he gives that away himself. he states he’s no longer afraid of anything after the upgrades- which leaves some pretty fucking depressing hints as to metal sonic's general mental state before heroes. and this drives him to the point of becoming an almost incomprehensibly powerful being. like canonically heroes metal sonic is one of the strongest beings in the series, he can copy the data and abilities of incredibly powerful beings permanently. he's at least got the strength of shadow and chaos combined which is fucking terrifying. and he loses.

he loses, because what he wants is not something he can get with outmatching sonic in speed and strength. what he deeply desires, though he cannot express it, is something else. personhood. metal sonic desperately asks why he cannot win, and sonic's response is. admittedly the very cheesy title drop of “because we're sonic heroes” but cheese aside, that ultimately sums up why metal sonic could not succeed. metal sonic does not have friends. he doesn’t have freedom or happiness or any sort of sense of self. he cannot ever truly achieve his goals, because to destroy sonic and become him are mutually incompatible. he's forever driven down a self destructive path, one way or the other. metal sonic's existence is, in and of itself, a tragedy.

and all of this is from thirty fucking minutes of screen time. including gameplay.

metal sonic is very obviously a character who takes heavy inspiration from the terminator franchise. and i fucking love terminator, for one, so that’s awesome. but two, the best terminator film will always be terminator 2 because it's as much an exploration of what it means to be human and the concept of fate as an action horror flick, and metal sonic as a character is also at his best when he's used to explore similar themes. he's a character chained to a fate he cannot change, a character so desperate for personhood that can never achieve it, and it’s what makes him so terrifying and intimidating. he's not just a mindless machine, nor coldly logical- he's desperate and has nothing to lose. he's such a formidable foe because he takes risks that are rash and irrational because he's so driven to the depths of his psyche he'd do anything to finally succeed. any competently programmed bot wouldn’t risk itself for an infinitesimal advantage, any mindless drone wouldn’t come up with half the shit metal does, but he is both extremely intelligent and suicidally desperate.

and then after heroes he just kinda became a cooler badnik. like, cool things have happened with him in spin-offs, and of all things 06 was originally planned to have continued his story after heroes as a playable character, but that was cut along with. like half the game. but it’s just sad the main series made such a compelling villain and then just went. “okay but what if we never use him again”.

[witchhatproductions]

Witch Hat News #4 - Lessons from the Archives

by Tata Calthrop

This is an archived version of our microfiction newsletter! You can read along on our tumblr, or subscribe here.

Which archive, you may ask? Well, it's quite simple.

Our own one.

Yes, like many twenty-somethings in the creative field now, I was forged in a rather specific fire – the classic Internet pipeline of Neopets, Deviantart, Tumblr, Twitter, usually interspaced at some point with either a gender crisis or a formal diagnosis of mental illness.

You see, for a young nerdy preteen in 2010, you have two sexy choices made available to you, neither of which you will perceive until it's too late. You will choose either the path of solitude (voraciously consuming and creating content in incredible loneliness and feeling like the only person in the world who does so), or the path of the internet, where you will learn at an incredibly young age how to receive and handle a death threat. I was raised on a raw, unfiltered diet of fandom. (Sonic the Hedgehog. The world has not been kind to me.)

The fans and the hermits have a lot to teach each other. In fact, as easy as it is to make fun of – well – most people on the internet, there is something valuable to be learned from every subculture of creativity, including the horny ones. 

So let me make a confession to you: I'm a fanfiction writer. I have a shameful record of 155,821 words, none of which will ever give me a scrap of credibility with anyone, including other fanfiction writers. (Heavy is the head that wears the dunce hat of Adventure/Comedy.) Hell, I've spent over a year picking away at a fancomic project. For zero dollars and no publication accolades, I have written at least five full completed novellas, which will never be published, be recognised, or prove anything except my big, fat crush on the uncle from Encanto.

My god, was it freeing.

The social pressure to monetize your art is insane. I took my first art commission before I even had my first bank account. It was my teenage dream: to be paid is to obtain credibility. The label will hang over your head like an execution hood: PROFESSIONAL. Of course, the loop never really stops; start making money and suddenly your eyes are open to how many opportunities you're missing, and how little you make compared to others, and how wide the chasm is between you and full-time creation. 

(That's not to say the money and recognition aren't nice! That part I do recommend.)

But making fan content, and making friends who also make fan content, and building up a small audience of people who just want to be there for fun is incredibly liberating when you're not used to it. Get a bunch of friends who create together, join a community that makes its own memes and creates a bubble of mutual feedback and appreciation, and you start to realise: this is how they made the old tales, the oral ones before the printing press.

Here's two lessons from the archives.

Love characters. Fall in love with their vulnerable moments, their jokes, their relationship dynamics, the little unseen parts of them that you can never put in a real story because there's simply no point. Linger on the details. Develop a little crush. Project all your issues and obsess over nothing. Love your own characters, and you'll find suddenly that creating art about them changes from a chore to an act of affection. Learn what makes you fall in love with other stories, and look for the same aspects in your own.

Making art to impress a large audience will disappoint you; making art to impress a social circle of about ten interested people is how life is supposed to be lived. The early humans who painted mammoths on cave walls had no audience except themselves.

Here's a quote I like, from Prof. Henry Jenkins, Provost Professor of Communication, Journalism and Cinematic Arts at University of Southern California: "Contemporary Web culture is the traditional folk process working at lightning speed on a global scale. The difference is that our core myths now belong to corporations, rather than the folk.”

Here's another quote I like, from twitter user @FarfinFarfin: "the fastest way to improve your art is to become some sort of pervert, doesn't really matter what kind, whatever you're comfortable with". 

Reviews

The Northern Caves by @nostalgebraist. The Northern Caves is a cosmic horror story about unwary scholars who delved too deep into the ancient texts, except the scholars are a group of hardcore nerds on an early 2000s fan forum for a mediocre fantasy series, and the ancient texts are fan theories about the author's baffling final novel. I know almost nothing about original fiction on Archive of Our Own, but I recognise a wonderfully online scary story when I see one. Psychological, terrifying, and twistedly fascinating reading for anyone who's ever watched an online community implode.

Songs for Girls in Love by @phemiec. PhemieC was one of my favourite musicians as a teenager, and when I got into my first relationship I rushed into the familiar arms of their love songs. They also were making, at the time, Homestuck fansongs. But when I was 15, this music made more of an impact on me than any classic musician ever could. Songs for Girls In Love has a number of fansongs mixed in, largely for things I've never consumed, but you'd never know it from their lyrical subtlety and I'm still a huge fan. 

Digital Land Grab: Media corporations are stealing our cultural heritage. Can we take it back? By Henry Jenkins. Okay, okay, this one's not exactly micro or fiction of any sort. But it is the article that I quoted earlier, and Prof. Jenkins could be described as the grandfather of fanwork studies in academia. A good read about the history and creative validity of fanwork, and the ways in which corporations suppress it. I highly recommend it, even if you know nothing about fanfiction.

Your project here. Do you make art of any kind - visual, written, performed? Are you starting a project or recruiting co-creators? We want to hear from you! Email us at contact@witchhatproductions.com.

That's it for June. See you next month!

[yinwaryuri]

I posted 15,065 times in 2022

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

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#3

Pete The Hedgehog

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#2

HE'S BEEN CAPTAIN OF THE SHIP THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME

872 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

KinnPorsche is for the gays, the theatre kids, the otakus, the kpop stans, the strippers, concert junkies, semi-serious musicians and karaoke enthusiasts, cosplayers, action lovers, aspiring artists of any kind, the sexually deviant, the mentally ill, the party animals, the untalented yet confident, the talented yet unconfident, people with huge hearts, the quiet people with extremely active inner worlds, poets and writers, the biggest dorks of the universe, there's room for everybody man I love this show and what it's created

967 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[macbethmurdersquad]

There comes a time in every parent's life when their little kid grows up and heads off to college. For Heinz Doofenshmirtz, that day was 6 months ago. Vanessa packed up her bags and headed off for Dunsaney. Dunsans? Dunsinane? That’s it! Dunsinane, where an education and an exciting internship is waiting for her!

There’s just one problem. The person she’s interning for is Emperor Macbeth, who Doofenshmirtz has recently realized is evil. And not fun evil, like he is. Scary evil. And Vanessa is caught in his clutches.

He builds the Take-Me-To-Dunsinane-inator(!) which should transport him directly to her location so he can rescue her!

Unfortunately, it takes him to the wrong Dunsinane- instead of the one in Scotland, he finds himself on the peak of Mount Dunsinane, in Colorado, and he’s surrounded by the strangest group he’s ever seen! And directly overhead, burning bright, is the same symbol that appeared on his arm the night Vanessa left for school…

It’s up to him, a green-clad fairy, an emo hedgehog, a living cowboy doll, a living puppet, two sentient cookie creatures, two heavily armed teenagers, a mentally-ill son of a crime lord, a reanimated corpse, FBI most wanted serial killer Dean Winchester, Nascar racing champion Lightning McQueen, and a stone monkey from myth to do the impossible and take down the unkillable god-king that’s been making life on Earth hell for over 1,000 years.

Can they do it? Or will they find themselves in over their heads?

[psychokineticstarlight]

"...Yeah. I found out by sneaking in, and accessing old G.U.N. records. I can't read, but I know how to collaborate color coded combinations to obtain information. I'm eighteen right now, my birthday is during a time called January. When I was ten, they realized they'd never be able to control my psychokinesis. They tossed me out of the settlement, and i was left to fend for myself."

To their surprise, he lived. And they hated him even more for it. Spread lies and rumors to the humans that he was the biggest enemy next to Iblis. That he'd ravage their settlement, destroy everything with his mind. G.U.N. wasn't entirely wrong in their assumptions. Silver's mind held incredible power. His ability of psychokinesis's power was off the charts. Not to mention... and this wasn't on any of the records, but...

He held the power to control time itself, and G.U.N. knew that.

That was a fact even Silver didn't know. He hadn't figured out how to access it. There were times he'd come dangerously close to opening a rift between times, but so far, he'd managed to keep his emotions in check. If he tried hard enough, Silver probably could have opened a rift in time.

He didn't even have time to ask about her being a world traveler. Iblis was inside of here. And her words reflected what he felt. If he killed her, he'd kill Iblis. Memories flooded back to him. Memories of Claire, the human that showed him kindness. Her flaming red hair, and her cute freckles. Most importantly, how she'd helped him, and was his first friend.

She later passed away due to illness, but... one thing she said, during a deep discussion on what they could have done to stop Iblis stuck in his mind.

"To kill someone to save the world... Is that really the right thing to do?"

Claire's exact words spoken by Silver. It was almost as though he were channeling Claire's spirit.

"I can't. I can't kill you."

It felt... wrong. So very wrong, to take the life of someone who hadn't committed a heinous act. Tempest had been friendly towards him, and now he understood her lack of emotion. Though he was heavily frowning, it was easy to say, she was safe in his care.

"G.U.N. Always said there was something very special about me. There was something they wanted me to do, something I never managed to pull off. It had nothing to do with psychokinesis."

Deep breath in, deep breath out. He was used to the soot, and smoke. Though his lungs were severely damaged, he didn't cough.

"I just wish I knew what it was. Maybe it could help me bring you home." He shook his head. "Anyway, going to the human settlement is out of the question now."

Truthfully? He was a little scared. The very demon he'd been fighting for years, harboring inside of the human in front of him. A demon that could come forth and make his world even worse. Closing his eyes, he lowers his head. Think, damnit!

This time, there was a different aura around him. It wasn't the teal shade of his psychokinesis. It was very violet in color, and it only grew. The hedgehog began taking deep breaths, a gust swirling around him.

He didn't understand himself, what he was doing. But through her words. Through these feelings and emotions, he was accessing what G.U.N. truly wanted. It hurt. It physically hurt. It felt like his mind was being ripped apart. Soon, he lets out a yell, and in front of them, a tunnel forms.

A tunnel to the past. However, it was the past of his world, not hers.

Upon creation of that tunnel, Silver dropped to his knees, breathing heavily. Oh by the Gods, did his head hurt. He couldn't even figure out what he'd done. He's soon clutching his head, and though he felt the need, he couldn't even cry, in spite of the extreme mental pain.

Bad as it hurt, he understood now. Silver didn't understand what he'd done, but whatever it was, he understood how to unlock its power.

She'd gone too far. That much was obvious as Silver began to question her- to ask what she meant. She had been hoping he would leave it at that, but- Tempest couldn't blame the hedgehog for being on edge after such words.

"They left you to die...?" A mental note was made to avoid G. U. N. at all costs- in any world she came across them. Tempest breathed out. This place was more than a hellscape, it seemed. To be treated as an experiment...she couldn't risk it. She couldn't risk G. U. N. finding Iblis. If they had a second-- what if they repeated the experiments that had led to her own life, in her own world? Worse, what if they turned her into a battery- or killed her to try to get Iblis itself? "...we'll need to be careful...I can't afford for G. U. N. to be on me for anything..."

G. U. N....left Silver to die, in this world.- Was Silver once a soldier of their's?

"...it's alright. I should've figured you'd be able to sense it..." Tempest raised a hand to her mouth, covering it for a moment as she tried to figure out how to put it- but she'd already managed to shake what fragile alliance the two had- even if Silver didn't realize how fragile it had initially been. "...I may not be a time traveler- but I am a world traveler."

The flames began to flicker off of her back, her anxiety nearly making her head pound.

"...in my world, Iblis was stopped, a long time ago. My people managed to figure out how to contain it...but--- they did so by trapping it in a living body. The person who contains it...they're immortal, eternally youthful..but they can't express emotion. They can't feel emotion. To do so- to let herself feel...would cause Iblis to come pouring out. To cry...would be to plunge her world into the same apocalypse as your own."

Tempest placed a hand to her chest.

"I am the living prison of my world's Iblis." Tempest paused. "--And every moment I am here, it is getting harder to keep my world's Iblis at bay. Please, do not try to kill me. Just- help me get home, or let me try to find a way back on my own." She was putting a lot of faith into the idea that Silver wouldn't outright try to murder her, right here. But she couldn't keep going- keep lying. It wasn't a part of who Tempest was, who she'd been raised as in both of her lives.

[jaminjims]

「BRAIN GO BRR」

anon request: Heyyy! Could I request for an imagine for prompt 83? An ot7 platonic bts 8th reader crack / fluff? Like they’re playing around and it gets a wee bit competitive? 😅

prompt: “if you want me, come and get me, motherfuckers.”

pairing: platonic!bts ot7 x gender neutral!reader

genre: crack >:), fluff

warnings: strong language?? should that be a warning?

words: 1.3k

~**~

You looked seriously into Taehyung’s eyes, determined that you would get it right no matter what he did. The stakes were high as your team was only one point away from winning.

Tae meowed.

“Monkey!”

There was a brief pause before several different things happened at once.

“Monkey?! I meow and the first animal you think of is monkey, oh my god. Can I hit you?” Taehyung looked at Jin for permission, “Can I hit Y/n?”

“Yah! I can’t help it if you sound like a monkey all the time; you never evolved past caveman! That’s natural selection Tae! Aish, why couldn’t you just evolve past caveman brain.” You whined and messed with your hair in frustration. Jimin and Jungkook looked on in despair as now the Hyung team was a point closer to winning the game and now the two teams were tied. Hoseok and Jin did all they could not to pass out from laughter while Yoongi just nodded to your exclamation like it was universal knowledge that most people, indeed, did not evolve past caveman brain. Namjoon looked like he would like to end his suffering and was contemplating if it was too late to resign as leader. He should let Yeontan take up the mantle. Or maybe get a lizard. Lizards are patient and wise, right?

Ah yes, the elegance that was animal association; where you make an animal noise and if your partner gets it right then the team gets a point. If your partner gets it wrong, then the other team gets the point. Simple really.

Well, unless it came to you, apparently. There was really a 50/50 chance with you.

It was your birthday and you were all gathered in the dorm living room, having a mini party to celebrate while v-living the event. It seemed like the mass lack of IQ you had spread and lowered the general intelligence of everyone in your vicinity though, as Taehyung exclaimed;

“You never evolved past tadpole brain!” He pointed back at you and you had half a mind to bite his finger.

Before you could act on your biting instincts, Jimin laid a hand on your shoulder with a grim expression on his face. “Even I knew it was a cat, Y/n-ah.”

There was obviously something missing in their brain functions because no, that was definitely a monkey. You lunged for the phone to consult ARMY in the decision but Namjoon had enough sense to pull it away from you before you did something rash. Coincidently, you tripped trying to get up to get it back from the leader, and he just looked down at you with something akin to utter misery for this game in his eyes. Or maybe it was war flashbacks. Probably war flashbacks.

Hoseok couldn’t help it; he was basically wheezing he was laughing so hard and Jin went to help you up, though, he was laughing too and almost fell on you in the process. Yoongi was trying his best not to laugh but he kinda looked like the embodiment of the 👁👄👁 face to you.

“Hey! We can still win this, team! They can still get the next one wrong!” Jungkook exclaimed with determination in his eyes. Jimin nodded along with him as you four sat off to the side and the four eldest got together. It was Jin and Yoongi’s turn and Jin thought of an animal that they haven’t done yet.

He hissed.

There was a tense few seconds before Yoongi, quite confidently, replied with “Hedgehog.”

Jin’s eyes widened as he smiled, that caused Hoseok to whoop in victory because if Jin was acting like that then Yoongi had obviously gotten it right. “Aish, you’re so smart.” Jin complimented. Yoongi smiled and looked at the younger ones with smug victory in his eyes. Namjoon sighed like the long suffering parent he was.

It only goes downhill from here.

Your poor brain struggled to make sense of it. “Hedgehog?! What the fuck?! Do hedgehog’s even hiss!?”

This time Hoseok, Jin, and Yoongi started laughing and celebrating their victory while your other three team members looked at you.

You met Jungkook’s cold stare first, “I am going to defenestrate you.” Then they all lunged at you. You yelled and bolted up, grabbing one of those sticky, stretching rubber hand things you can throw at walls to get them to stick there. (if you know, you know) You had insisted you have them as party favors.

You ran around the couch so there was something between you and the other three maknaes. “But we live on the fourth floor!”

“Exactly!” Jimin added, “Maybe if you hit your head hard enough you can gain some brain function back!” Tae continued.

They ran around one way as you ran around the other. You used your sticky hand to hit them in the face when you could while the Hyung line stood a respectful distance away from the chaos and got it on camera.

“Pause!” You yelled and you all froze. You pointed at them while they pointed back at you. Hoseok started laughing again because it reminded him of the one cartoon spider-man meme.

You smirked at them, “If you want me, come and get me, motherfuckers!” Then you bolted away and the poor hyungs didn’t realize you were running to them before it was too late. You hid behind Namjoon as Jimin, Jungkook, and Tae came at you.

You growled and barked at them like the rapid animal you were and it spoked Namjoon enough to almost drop the phone (that was still running the v-live, by the way).

“Did you just bark?” Yoongi said in disbelief while Hobi and Jin also had a look of confusion mixed with concern mixed with slight horror directed at you. Namjoon quickly moved out of the way so he didn’t contract whatever brain cell eating illness you had. You moved to get behind him again before the other young ones could get to you.

He would would have poked you back with a stick if he had one, “Back! Stay back I say!”

You paled when you realized that you had no cover and bolted down the hallway, Jimin hot on your feet and the other two not to far behind.

The hyung’s followed to wherever you were going to make sure everyone made it out somewhat still intact.

You ran into your room and only paused momentarily when you saw that, huh, when did you open the window?, before regaining your senses and dodgeing the three others as they came barreling into the room.

So, the scene looked like this. You on one side, closest to your closet and desk, while Jimin, Jungkook, and Taehyung were across from you, backs facing the weirdly opened window. The four oldest were watching on with non concealed laughter and amusement (well three of them were, Namjoon looked a little bit like he wanted a nap.)

With nothing between you and your attackers, you did the last thing you could do; which was throw the sticky green hand at them.

You missed and you all watched as it went falling out the window.

There was a few seconds of nothing before you all jumped at the sound of Hoseok’s phone. He looked at it and then back at the other members.

“It’s Sejin Hyung.” He answered the call and put it on speaker.

“Hoseok-ah, would you like to explain the sticky, green, ... hand thing that just flew out your dorm window and into Y/n’s cake?” That was Bang PD’s voice. Which only meant one thing; their boss was with their manager and they had just witnessed you throwing something out the window and landing in your cake.

Wait, it landed in your cake?!

“Wah! It landed in my cake?!” You whined in misery as Hoseok couldn’t help the incredulous giggle that escaped him. It was quiet on both sides before you heard your manager laugh from the other line.

After that it was a domino effect and you all started laughing, even Bang PD himself. While laughing you still couldn’t help the little whines that escaped you.

“But what about my cake??”

[end]

~**~

end note: PLEASE, i live for crack fics you guys. along with writing angst (which i seem to write the most, for whatever reason) crack is one of my favorite things to write. i feel like i get to really just let my already deteriorating mental stability go and write whatever comes to mind with prompts like these so i had sooo much fun! thank you so so so much for the request anonie! i loved it so much and i hope you like it as much as i did 💜

masterlist

request something!

taglist: @boba-tea1206

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

[oncejaw-a]

dossier   —   marcel galliard.

FULL  NAME.     marcel galliard. MEANING.     marcel   (  french: “devoted to Mars (god of war)”, “warrior”.  )      galliard (  possibly derived from french “gaillard”, a term of slang to describe a young man full of energy and vigour.) NICKNAME.     Jaw, Jaws. GENDER.     cis man. ETHNICITY.   eldian. HEIGHT.     156cm in 845 (canon verse) // 173cm in 850, 174cm in 854 (canon divergent). AGE.     13 in 845 (canon verse, age of death) // 18 in 850 (RtS arc), 22 in 854 (attack on Liberio) (canon divergent). ZODIAC.     leo   (  creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous  ;  arrogant, stubborn, self-centered, lazy, inflexible ) SPOKEN  LANGUAGES.     eldian (marleyan dialect), marleyan.

physical  characteristics !

HAIR  COLOR.     brown. EYE  COLOR.     light brown verging on yellow, amber. SKIN  TONE.     pale. BODY  TYPE.     small frame, average height and build, agile and athletic little boy (845, canon verse) // slightly shorter than would be expected of a soldier, broad and solid shoulders, narrow frame. very athletic and energetic, well-defined musculature.  ACCENT.     slight marleyan accent when speaking eldian. VOICE.     confident, expressive, authoritative, slightly cracked, breaks and cracks even more under intense emotions. DOMINANT  HAND.     right-handed.  POSTURE.     always holds his back straight and his head high, takes up the space he is given, martial and proud. appears a little taller than he really is. always stands with his legs slightly spread apart, always seems to walk and move with a clear purpose in mind, never a missed beat or a hesitation. alert, can be prone to fidgeting when growing impatient.  SCARS.     constant bruises on legs and knees due to games and adventures with his brother // after receiving the Jaw titan, none that has not fully healed up. TATTOOS.     none. MOST  NOTICEABLE  FEATURE(S).     spiky hair pushed back on his head, often nicknamed the “hedgehog haircut”.

childhood !

PLACE  OF  BIRTH.     liberio internment zone, marley. HOMETOWN.     liberio. MANNER  OF  BIRTH.     natural. FIRST  WORDS.  "go”. SIBLINGS.     Porco Galliard, younger than him by approximately one year.  PARENTS.     unnamed parents, both still alive.  PARENT  INVOLVEMENT.     family situation was difficult when marcel and porco were younger; parents often had to be out of the house for work, sometimes for days on end, leaving marcel in charge of the household and his little brother. this effectively made marcel grow up and mature faster than a boy his age should have. while he does love both his parents and is close to them, there is a slight hint of resentment and distance for putting such responsibilities on his shoulders, and especially for encouraging him and his brother towards the warrior candidate programme, or rather, for never objecting to it. 

adult  life ! (canon divergent)

OCCUPATION.    member of the warrior unit, holder of the Jaw Titan. CURRENT RESIDENCE.     warrior unit quarters in liberio. CLOSE  FRIENDS.     his brother, pieck finger, reiner braun, sometimes zeke jaeger. bertholdt huber and annie leonhart. RELATIONSHIP  STATUS.     single. FINANCIAL  STATUS.     entirely dependent on marleyan military. DRIVER’S  LICENSE.     car and motorcycle. CRIMINAL  RECORD.     mass murder, manslaughter, breach of war conventions. VICES.    occasional smoker and drinker, bouts of volcanic temper and aggressivity.

sex  &  romance !

SEXUAL  ORIENTATION.    asexual. ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION.     aromantic. PREFERRED  EMOTIONAL  ROLE.     protector, nurturer. PREFERRED  SEXUAL  ROLE.     none. LOVE  LANGUAGE. LIBIDO.    average, just not directed towards anyone. RELATIONSHIP  TENDENCIES.     typically not interested in romantic or sexual relationships; Marcel is prone, however, to developing strong and intense platonic connections and friendships. he seeks out deep emotional connections with others and strives in relationships where the other party can be fully open and at ease with him. it takes time and effort for him to accept to display the same openness for fear of burdening others with his own issues. needs to feel needed and relied on.

miscellaneous !

THEME  SONG.     Hasta Siempre - Luke. HOBBIES  TO  PASS  TIME.     engineering, tinkering, spending time with his brother and his friends, running. MENTAL  ILLNESSES.     undiagnosed anxiety disorder, night terrors. PHYSICAL  ILLNESSES.     none. LEFT  OR  RIGHT  BRAINED.     left, analytical and logical. PHOBIAS.     failure. not really a phobia but doesn’t like feeling unprepared for a tense situation. 

SELF  CONFIDENCE  LEVEL.     very differentiated, marcel has a very good understanding of his own strengths and weaknesses and doesn’t tend to assign a particular value to them, sees them as balancing each other out. in canon-divergent verse where he suvives his encounter with ymir, then the RtS arc and returns to Marley without Bertholdt and Annie, confidence in his leadership skills and in himself is shattered - though he does his best not to show it. VULNERABILITIES.     his brother, ticklish as hell.

TAGGED BY: taken from myself.

TAGGING :    all of you!

[kissjane]

DELAYED DATE / Short(ish) fic

#12 from this prompt list.

TW / Mental illness, mention of suicide (but no actual attempt)

We dated in high school but then you moved away but now you’re back in town

“Have you guys heard?”

Basile came running towards them, ten minutes late for the gang’s weekly pizza night. As soon as he was near enough, he came to a skidding halt, bent double, his hands on his knees, his face red and ruddy, taking in gulps of oxygen while he tried to tell them his big news.

“Daphné told me, she heard from Imane, who had it from Sofiane, so that must mean it’s true, because obviously Sofiane would not just make something like that up, would he? Anyway, so Daphné heard it this morning when the girls went all shopping together, and she came over to my place to tell me just as I was about to leave, so that’s why I’m late, sorry about that, guys, have you ordered yet? You remembered to leave off the mushrooms on mine, right? Anyway, so what do you think about it, huh?”

He looked around expectantly.

“Baz, my man,” Arthur said, shaking his head fondly but exasperatedly, “why don’t you sit down first, and then tell us this piece of bombshell gossip Daphné thought was more important than pizza with your friends.”

Basile did as suggested, and then looked around again with aplomb, eager to share his news.

“Eliott is back in town!”

Silence fell, as Yann and Arthur glanced over at Lucas.

“Eliott Demaury?”, Yann asked after a long beat.

“Of course, Eliott Demaury, do we know any other Eliotts?”

Basile was so extraordinarily proud of surprising his friends with his announcement that he completely missed how Lucas suddenly had gone pale.

“We should text him, ask him if he wants to hang out again, like before!”

Lucas noticed how Yann elbowed Basile in the arm while Arthur frantically shook his head, and it made him feel bad. If the boys wanted to hang out with Eliott again, they should be able to. But Yann knew, and Arthur could probably guess, that Lucas would very much prefer not to. But whether Basile tried to set something up or not, chances were Lucas would run into Eliott at some point anyway.

“Yeah, sure,” he therefore said. Better to meet him with Yann there for emotional support, than running into him alone and when he was least expecting it. This way, he could prepare.

But not enough, it turned out, when Basile immediately took out his phone, and before anyone realized what was going on, announced gleefully, “That’s arranged! He’s coming over.”

Lucas choked on his own saliva, and a worried look appeared in Yann’s eyes, but the damage was done, and when a familiar figure walked up a few minutes later, Lucas took a big gulp of air and hoped for the best.

“Hi,” a hesitant voice came, and Lucas had to close his eyes against the memories crashing over him.

Eliott calling him late at night, his voice warm with sleep.

Eliott whispering nonsensical words in Lucas’ hair, against Lucas’ skin.

Eliott breathing out Lucas’ name into Lucas’ mouth, his lips taking on the shapes with Eliott’s.

“Hey,” he crooked, willing himself to act normally, to just greet him like an old friend he hadn’t seen in a while.

And why wouldn’t he? Of course, he had had the biggest crush on Eliott for most of the time they’d known each other, and Eliott had definitely given him the impression it had been reciprocated, until he had just disappeared – but nobody needed to know that.

Only Yann knew the full story – he had confronted Lucas one night, a few weeks after Eliott had left. Lucas had barely left his room for days, not speaking, eating only because Manon forced him. When he finally came back to school, he had been silent, withdrawn, and pale, and he snapped at the boys a couple of times for no reason. And then Yann had shown up, demanding answers, and Lucas had broken down and cried his heart out, telling his best friend about his whirlwind romance with Eliott, and the bitter taste it had left when Eliott had just packed up and left, not answering Lucas’ attempts at communication.

He would have sworn, only this morning, that he was definitely over Eliott Demaury, after three years – although maybe his glaring lack of any boyfriends in that time might suggest otherwise. Oh, sure, he’d kissed the occasional guy here and there, but nothing serious. And now, seeing Eliott, watching his grey eyes shine and his hands gesture wildly, he was forced to admit that the reason nothing ever went further was that he was the farthest thing away from being over him.

Basile was already jumping around Eliott like a young puppy, bouncing up and down, asking him how he was, what was going on, whether he was back for good, where he had been, why he had moved without notifying any of them – all in rapid-fire, without giving the older boy a chance to reply.

Finally, Eliott spoke up.

“It’s not the happiest story, but if you guys are up for it, I would like to tell you all.”

He stared straight at Lucas, and Lucas needed to turn his head, afraid of falling for Eliott all over at the slightest opportunity. He steeled himself not to believe any of his beautiful words this time, not to walk into his trap again.

But Yann nodded solemnly, and Eliott gangly sat down, folding his long limbs and hunching his shoulders.

“So, uh, I am bipolar. I don’t know if you guys know, but it’s a mental disorder…”

A silence fell. They all knew what that meant. Lucas had finally told the gang about his mom’s admission into the mental ward in their last year, and Basile had told them about his mom’s mental illness.

“We know,” Arthur said. “That sucks.”

“Uh, okay, yeah, it does. So we didn’t know at the time, but a lot of the stuff I did at my old school was due to episodes. It’s also why I failed my bac and got expelled from my other school and came to your high school. But like I said, nobody knew at the time and so, one day, I went into a manic stage and I tried to jump off a rooftop because I thought I could fly. A police agent managed to talk into me enough to get me down safely, and I got brought into the station. They called my parents, and they thought I had tried to commit suicide – which wasn’t true. I had everything to live for, and I wouldn’t want to give up –”

He looked at Lucas again. So did Yann. Both sets of eyes were trying to gauge what Lucas was thinking, feeling, but Lucas was numb.

“Anyway. They had me admitted into a psych ward near Le Havre, where they had moved to a few months earlier, that same night. I couldn’t keep my phone or anything, I couldn’t contact anybody, I –”

Again, his eyes found Lucas, pleading.

“I wanted to call you so badly, I swear, but they wouldn’t let me, and then when they finally gave me my phone back, it was weeks later, after they had diagnosed me, and I just – I thought you would be better off without me. Or that you would have forgotten me, or had moved on, and so I just… didn’t.”

Lucas saw Eliott’s eyes shine with something different now, as if he was blinking back tears. He wasn’t sure his own eyes looked any better.

It remained silent for a while. The boys looked from one to the other, unsure what was going on.

“So why are you back now, then?”, Yann asked, when nobody else made a move.

“The simple reason is that I finally got accepted into the Arts program at the University of Paris,” he answered, but his eyes still never left Lucas.

Yann nudged him with his elbow, willing him to ask the obvious reason, but Lucas was still too much in shock to do so.

In the end, it was Arthur who finally broke the heavy tension.

“And the complicated reason?”

Eliott took a deep breath.

“I had to leave something behind I never wanted to leave. Or someone, rather. Someone who I hadn’t even known all that long, but who meant everything to me. Someone who I missed every goddamn day I was out there. Who I have written thousands of texts to, and deleted them all, who I wanted to call millions of times, but never did. Someone I made so many drawings for over the years I could barely get them all to Paris with me – I just hope he gives me a chance to show them to him one day.”

“Sound like someone pretty important,” Yann said, when Eliott’s voice broke.

“The most important person I ever met,” Eliott agreed. “I loved him then, and I hate the fact that I never got to tell him, so I just hope I get to tell him now.”

“Do you – still?”, Lucas whispered. “Love him?”

Eliott nodded. “I never stopped. Please, Lucas,” he said, suddenly giving up all the pretense, beseeching him, “I swear I never meant to hurt you, it all happened so fast, and I know I am years too late, and you probably have somebody else by now, I just – I need you to believe me. I fell in love with you the first day I saw you walking the hallway at school, and I never stopped.”

Basile gasped.

“You are in love with Lucas? Our Lucas?”

“Oh, come on, Baz,” Arthur said as he stood up. “Let’s go get pizza. You coming, Yann?”

And as Basile still protested indignantly – “But I didn’t know! Lucas never said anything!” – Arthur and Yann dragged him along, the latter winking over his shoulder at Lucas.

As Basile’s voice finally died down, Lucas lifted his eyes to Eliott’s, and then dropped them to his mouth almost immediately.

“Lucas?”, Eliott said tentatively, gingerly reaching out a hand to Lucas’ shoulder.

“You drew for me?”

He didn’t know why he came up with that, after everything Eliott had said, but he was rewarded when Eliott smiled.

“Hundreds of times. Hundreds of happy hedgehogs and raccoons.”

Lucas smiled.

“Do you… I mean, maybe… If you wanted… You could come with me and I could show them to you?”

Eliott’s tone was hopeful, but cautious, and suddenly Lucas didn’t want to waste another minute. He’d pined over Eliott for years, and here he was. Nobody could predict the future, but tonight, he wasn’t going to let Eliott slip away.

“Only if I can stay the night,” he said, softly, and he laughed as Eliott’s eyes went wide and his breath hitched.

“I can’t wait until we get there to kiss you,” Eliott replied just as softly, when he was sufficiently recovered.

“Please don’t.”

And when their lips found each other again after all those years, they both knew it was going to take a while to get to the drawings – but neither of them overly minded.

[xxmisty]

My Big Humiliating Torchwood Confession - Part 1 :P

Warning: this will be a LONG post, and i’m sorry about that! 

Lucy is sat opposite me asking me repeatedly if I’ve started typing yet because she knows how desperately i’m putting off making this post!!1

This is awful, this is.... probably the most embarrassingly intimate confession i’ll have made since the day I opened up about my fetish way back at the start of 2013. And on the surface of it it probably doesn’t seem like that big of a deal but IT IS TO ME! And a big chunk of the trauma i’m about to express is tongue in cheek but it’s genuinely been - and continues to be - a huge bundle of DISTRESS AND HUMILIATION AND UTTER RESENTMENT!!! Because this year has been.... one hell of a personal journey and i don’t even mean anything to do with the pandemic.

It all started on New Year’s Day. I was feeling horrendously ill; the miraculous medication that had started to give me my life back had run out and thanks to the festive postal delays my new lot hadn’t arrived yet. I was in agony, I had a horrible headache, I felt sick and I could hardly move. We spent the day watching a bunch of muppet stuff, and that night we watched the first ep of season 12 of Doctor Who and, y’know, it was a pretty damn good episode (plus thirteen in the suit.... fuuckkk) 

So afterwards we started having a discussion about Chris Chibnall - we’ve long held criticisms about some of his writing (not all of it, but it’s a mixed bag) and Lucy told me I still hadn’t seen his worst writing because that was for Torchwood...

Which I had never seen. Which I had been desperately trying not to see, although I didn’t know why. I just always had this vibe like a big “NO ENTRY!” sign at the idea of ever watching it. It’s not as though I had a logical reason for it, it’s not like I’d read up about it and thought, ‘naahhhhhh, I don’t fancy watching that’. I just had a big WARNING sign in my head, telling me not to go there. 

Several years ago Lucy made me watch the first episode (after i’d been avoiding her threats of showing it to me for like 2 years) and like... it wasn’t horrible? It wasn’t... great either... but it didn’t kill me. Then a couple of years ago she showed me Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang because we were having a big Runaways phase so she wanted to show me an episode with James Marsters in. Again, it didn’t kill me. It wasn’t horrible. But I still had those big NO ENTRY!!! signs up in my head. I was still trying desperately to avoid actually being shown Torchwood as a show.

And the the new year happened and I was too WEAK AND DEFENCELESS to know what was happening when Lucy and I cuddled up in bed that night. I was too sick to really comprehend what she was doing or to fight back when she announced she was going to show me the very worst of Chris Chibnall’s writing... and put on Day One followed by Cyberwoman.

Oh. My. God.

All day I had been in a state of physical agony. Suddenly my mental and emotional state was far, FAR worse!!! The sex gas alien was bad enough, then by the time she put on Cyberwoman my brain was trying to shut down. I used to suffer blackouts and, god, I kept blacking out all the way through it, and instead of being her usual loving, wonderful self she KEPT FORCING ME TO COME ROUND TO WATCH IT!!!

By this point it was gone midnight and I was in a state of utter distress!! This was the worst double helping of tv I had ever sat through in my life and I sat up and let forth a tirade of absolute distress! This, I decided, had to be the reason I’d been avoiding Torchwood. Because it was more like.... Torurewood :P 

Yep, that had to be it. Couldn’t possibly be anything worse, could it? 

At least now lucy had shown me those two terrible Chibnall eps I would NEVER EVER HAVE TO WATCH THEM AGAIN. Or ANY Torchwood episodes. Yes, my ordeal was over. Had to be.

Nope. We went back to bed and she put on Out if Time. And i’ll admit, the story was much stronger but goddddd I had issues with the endings! And my level of despair started to rise even higher. I HATED Torchwood! This was the most distressing night’s viewing ever and I just wanted to go to sleep and be done with it all! Lucy put one more episode on afterwards: They Keep Killing Suzie. And that was much better but halfway through we finally fell asleep - so surely my trauma was over with.

Nope.

I had horrible nightmares of a very thirsty Gwen coming onto me all night, over and over again and it was HORRIBLE!!! Like, you have no idea how distressed I was! And when I woke up I blamed lucy whole-heartedly and she very sympathetically laughed at my plight!

But yeah. My trauma was over. No more Torchwood. I’d suffered the night from hell. Now it was time to pick up the pieces of my shattered life and move on! My medication arrived that day, I started work on some new pet portraits and life went back to normal.

Until that night, when I saw the telltale sign of Lucy putting a video on and turning her iPad around and then there they were - the opening titles of Torchwood - and I wanted to jump out the boat and into the canal and swim as far away as possible!!!

But the episode she put on was Fragments. She said she wanted to show me Chris Chibnall’s finest episode. And y’know what? It was really pretty fucking good. And god, I was fURIOUS about that!!! When we went to bed she pulled a real double whammy though by putting on Adam - which became instantly one of my favourite episodes of ANYTHING, EVER. And I looked at my wife, shook my head, sighed and told her, ‘nice save, Lucy... nice save...’

Over the next couple of weeks we also had a major Doctor Who rewatch and revisited most of the New Who era, and - to my mixed feelings - she dotted various other episodes of Torchwood in around them. I was conflicted - after the Adam and Fragments double bill I was no longer in brain-screamy hatred territory. I did however keep having flashbacks to that godawful night. Plus i’d had several further nightmares about a thirsty Gwen and I did NOT like it! But by a couple of weeks into January I’d seen a fair bit of Torchwood. Some of them twice. 

Around this same time I’d started back in testosterone after not being able to afford it for the last 3 years. And then I started to notice I was getting some..... urghhhhhh..... unusual... and very uncomfortable feelings... about certain.... things... and characters.

And I started falling headlong into a great big gay panic :P

And here’s where the whole story becomes a HELL of a lot more embarrassing so i’m going to put it under a read more :P

Did ya click on that read more? Wh-why? there’s nothing to see here... especially not a long tale of shame and distress :P ugggghhhhhhh ok, FINE;

Basically there were two things happening at the same time. One was that I started to feel something I hadn’t felt in two decades. When I was a kid/teen we didn’t have the phrase ‘hyperfixation’ so I just called them obsessions. I always had obsessions, at any given point there was always this ONE THING that was my entire life. i lived it, breathed it, became it. It was my whole world, my whole personality, my focus, my lifeline. 9 times out of 10 it would be a tv show. Between the ages of 12 and 15 I would generally change my obsession about once a month. There were several ‘usual suspects’ that would cycle around over and over - Red Dwarf, The Brittas Empire, Sonic the Hedgehog, Halfway Across the Galaxy, Parallel 9, Out of this World... 

late in 1995 I became obsessed with The X Files and - bizarrely - that obsession just ran and ran. I was so used to my obsession changing around once every month that it was bizarre to still be absolutely hyperfixated on it almost 9 months later. And then, in June 1996, my longest ever obsession took its place, a little known uk fantasy show called Bugs. 

That... was my longest running obsession. And oh my god, was I ever obsessed with it. I have no idea how that one obsession kept going for 3 years. i’m sorry this is particularly wordy but this is kind of personal and I want to explain this right.

If you’ve been following me for a while you’ll probably known that one of the most defining moments of my life happened in the summer of ‘98. My cousin’s husband sexually assaulted me and my life spiralled into total despair. While that night was bad enough, the slow breakdown I went through over the course of the year that followed was harder to recover from. And eventually I came out the other side to some degree but i’d lost my love of three things that made me the person I was: writing, drawing and being obsessed. All three were so closely entangled with that night and surviving afterwards that it changed something that had always been a fundamental part of me.

I was no longer able to feel obsession. To hyperfixate the way I previously had. It was like something was broken inside me. And that was like a loss unto itself. It was SUCH a big part of me. It had been the only way i’d survived years of depression when I was young. My obsessions were what kept me afloat. 

In the last decade there are a few things that I called ‘obsessions’ and I thought were as close as I would ever get to the way I used to feel. I thought maybe it was because i’d ‘grown up’ (pah). That’s not to say that i wasn't thoroughly into Ashes to Ashes, FNAF and Homestuck, for example, because of course I was! I even called them obsessions, but there was something that just... wasn’t the same, no matter what I did.

And over time, I got back the other things I’d lost. I started writing my A2A fics in 2010 and Lucy helped me to start drawing again in 2018 and god, both times it was like finally having a piece of myself returned after so long! As for my ‘obsessions’, I just thought I wasn't able to feel the way I used to because I wasn’t a kid any more.

But then, I thought that about Christmas Eve too, and then lucy came into my life <3

Still, the last thing I was expecting was... for *those* feelings to start sneaking back in my life. Feelings I hadn’t been able to experience since the summer of 1998-9. And to my further distress I discovered that they were relating to a certain show that I’d had a traumatising introduction to on new year’s day...

Suddenly it was all I could think about; TORCHWOOD! TORCHWOOD! Aargghhhhh and yet I still hated it! It was still awful! And yet... at the same time... it was so goooooooood.... arghhhhh, every time we watched an episode there was a  knife twisting in my guts, reminding me that I hadn’t even felt these feelings over things we’d been HUGELY into... the fandoms we’d met through, the fandoms we discovered together. Nope. It was Torchwood that brought back my ability to hyperfixate! And I have SO MANY ANGRY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS!!!! Grrrrrrrrr!!

And believe me, I kept thinking it was going to stop and go away BUT IT HASN’T! It’s only gotten worse! And as of yesterday Torchwood officially became my second  longest obsession ever!!!

I. AM. FURIOUS!!!

It’s... urrghhhh I hate this fact but it’s almost like I have a crush on the *show*??!!! I... can’t explain it better than that??? It’s like, if I could throw Torchwood on the bed and make sweet, sweet love to it I would :P and yeah, i’m saying all of this tongue in cheek but i’ve had a fucking sky high libido ever since I went back on T (ohhhhh and believe me I am LOVING it!!! 💙💙💙) But it’s like... there are elements of Torchwood itself that are so fucking hot that I get.... reactions that I am SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED ABOUT for so many reasons deidjdhdggjhaaahhhhhhhhh

Lucy literally only has to say ‘Torchwood’ at me and I end up in a gibbering heap half the time - I am not even kidding!!!

This, however, is NOT the worst thing that happened as a result of Lucy making me watch this god damned show.

But honestly this post has gone on WAY too long already so i��m going to save that for part 2.

Oh god... my shame.... my total and utter shame....

To be continued :P

[benreillyscarletspider]

Red Dwarf Series One Starter Sentences

“Have you ever been hit over the head with a welding mallet?”

“The only reason they don't give this job to the service robots is they've got a better union than us.”

“You touch that guitar, [name], I'll remove the E string and garrote you with it.”

“ Can I do anything? Is it OK if I breathe? Can I breathe?”

“This is not cheating! It's merely an aid to memory. Helps me marshal the facts already in my command.”

“What does this mean? What does any of it mean? I've covered my body in complete and utter and total absolute nonsense gibberish!”

“Although you exist, you no longer exist in time, and, for you, time itself does not exist. You see, although you're still a mass, you are no longer an event in space-time; you are a non-event mass with a quantum probability of zero.”

“I've been on my own for three million years, and I'm just used to saying what I think. I think I've gone a bit peculiar, to tell you the truth.”

“ Never again will I be able to brush a rose against my cheek, cradle a laughing child, or interfere with a woman sexually.”

“Lots of people have died. Lots of people have died and then gone on and done really, really well.”

“I know it's wrong of me to speak ill of the dead and all that, but you're still a smeghead.”

“Looking nice. No, wait a minute. I'm looking better than nice. I'm looking dangerous.”

“He's your father? No wonder you're so ugly.”

“You are how you look, and I look like a complete and total tit!”

“Switch me on, switch me off, like I'm some battery-powered sex aid.”

“Death isn't the handicap it used to be in the olden days. It doesn't screw your career up like it used to.”

“It's gonna take 4000 years just to turn around. You can't do a three point turn when you're this close to lightspeed, you know.”

“You'll be in your element if insects are in control.You'll probably get a decent job at last.”

“Oh, just because I'm a toaster, I'm tone deaf?”

“Watch my lips. What ... is ... hap ... pening?”

“Hey, it hasn't happened, has it? It has ‘will have going to have happened' happened, but it hasn't actually 'happened' happened yet, actually.”

“It will be happened; it shall be going to be happening; it will be was an event that could will have been taken place in the future. Simple as that.”

“You know, I wish I was someone else. Then I could kiss me.”

“It's not fair. There's loads of things I've never done. Like... I've never had a prawn vindaloo. And I've never read... A book. And I wanted to have a family. And I wanted to have loads of practice in the things that you've got to do to get a family.”

“You can't whack death on the head!”

“ If he comes near me, I'm gonna rip his nipples off!”

“Yeah, well, everyone dies. You're born, and you die. The bit in the middle's called life, and that's still to come!”

“That woman's out of your league. She's just too classy for you.”

“I'm looking nice. My hair is nice. My face is nice. My suit is nice. I'm looking really nice!”

“You really must think I'm stupid. I'll deal with you two later.”

“You've got the brains of diarrhea and the breeding of a maggot.”

“I laughed so hard I nearly puked.”

“Of course you're tense, you rectum-faced pygmy!”

“Well, we'll give him ten seconds to come back from the dead, and, if he hasn't managed it, we'll presume I'm in charge.”

“If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, give it to [Name].”

“It's obviously beyond me. I've got more teeth than brain cells, remember?”

“What's the point of buying a toaster with artificial intelligence if you don't like toast?”

“My mind is open to new cultures, and new ways of looking at and doing things.”

“There's nobody out there. No alien monsters, no Zargon warships, no beautiful blondes with beehive hairdos who say 'Show me some more of this Earth thing called kissing.’.”

“If there's no one out there, what's the point in existence? Why are we here?”

“Smooth with a capital SMOO.”

“Hey, you monkeys are smarter than I thought.”

“I just don't know why I bother. I'd get more sense out of a squashed hedgehog.”

“Six breasts!? Imagine making love to a woman with six breasts!”

“Imagine making love to a woman!”

“This is terrible. Holy wars. Killing. They're just using religion as an excuse to be extremely crappy to each other.”

“I'm not a god! I've just been... Misquoted.”

“That's a fearsome hat.”

“I renounced coolness, and chose the righteous path of slobbiness.”

“But, as one by one we died, my faith died also.”

“I was thinking it might help pass the time if I created a perfectly functioning replica of a woman, capable of independent decision-making and abstract thought and absolutely undetectable from the real thing.”

“It must mean something. You don't dream about someone that you don't feel something for.”

“I once had a dream about a baboon but that doesn't mean I want to go to bed with it.”

“I happen to agree with their philosophy that love is a sickness that holds back your career and makes you want to spend all your money.”

“Love is a device invented by bank managers to make us overdrawn.”

“What makes us different from animals is we don't use our tongues to clean our own genitals.”

“Hey, this has been a good day. I've eaten five times, I've slept six times, and I've made a lot of things mine.Tomorrow, I'm gonna see if I can't have sex with something.”

“If you weren't my friend, I'd steal your shoes.”

“No, you're a filthy, stinking, loathsome,disgusting object I wouldn't be seen dead with in a plague pit.”

“I just love that accent. It makes me go all wibbly!”

“Bet you've got a terminal disease.Always happens to the people who least expect it.”

“Forget those losers. Let's go party.”

“Oh, he's drunk. Yes. I can smell it from here.”

“Ding dong! Another great idea from the people who brought you beer milkshakes!”

“Why should she be interested in you?”

“Yeah, why should she be interested in me?”

“You're great! You're an incredibly seductive, charming, charismatic, young stud!”

“You've got a body like a coat hanger! How can you make a spacesuit look like evening wear?”

“In space, no one can hear you cha-cha-cha!”

“He didn't suffer! I just fed him into the waste grinder and flushed his bits into space.”

“Who told you you needed oxygen, huh? Some loser who was trying to make you feel small.”

“Look, if she comes back and she's not interested, I can handle it.”

“A-ha! The Pop-Up Kama Sutra - Zero Gravity Edition!”

“My death is one of the most important things that ever happened to me.”

“Are you saying you never became an officer because you shared your quarters with someone who hummed?”

“Hey, I'm looking so good today! If I looked any better, I'd be illegal!”

“I am feeling very, very sexy!”

“Sensual emergency! Good lovin' needed bad!”

“I'm far, far, far too much of a gentleman to stoop to that kind of shower-room mentality.”

“Well, I'm sorry I didn't have time to sit down and bash out a speech in iambic pentameter. I was hit in the face by an atomic explosion.”

“SHUT UP, YA DEAD GIT!”

“STOP YOUR FOUL WHINING, YA FILTHY PIECE OF DISTENDED RECTUM!”

“Nothing major. But it goes without saying: IT WAS HIS FAULT!”

“Will you two guys just grow up?”

“ This can't go on. One of youse has gotta go.”

“Ippy-dippy, my space shippy, on a course so true; past Neptune and Pluto's moon, the one I choose is you.”

“I don't believe it. I've been ippy-dippied to death.”

“There's precious little entertainment on this ship. I mean, if you can't attend the odd execution, what have you got left?”

“I thought they were laughing at the chef, when all the time,they were laughing at me as I ate my piping hot gazpacho soup!”

[inthedreamatorium1]

@jebentnietalleen asked for a ted talk about Samedi 11.07 and I had so many thoughts about it that I wrote most of this on the bus. I feel slightly sorry for the woman sitting next to me dealing with my emotions.

We don’t know what Lucas and Eliott got into after paint sex but I think we can all safely assume it was more sex because A) Lucas was naked in bed B) Eliott asked if they were loud (meaning they gave zero consideration to the others when they were fucking) C) Lisa confirming they were so loud, she couldn’t sleep  (I gotta imagine that the pull out couch is HELLA squeaky.

Plus Lucas doesn’t strike me as someone who can be quiet in bed) Okay so Lucas just had mind-blowing amazing life-changing sex with God himself and I think we can forgive him for thinking the worst when he wakes up. He’s got orgasm brain, his body is probs not feeling like his own at the moment and his brain is three steps behind. We get it. The telltale sign of good sex is orgasm brain and Lucas had it in spades. So yes, we can forgive him for his mind going to the absolute worst case scenario. Eliott left. They had this smokin earth-shattering sex and...Eliott left. It wasn’t the first time Eliott left Lucas sleeping in bed and while they didn’t touch peens this first time, they had emotional intercourse which is just as intense. Last time Eliott left him a piece of art that was pretty telling in that it was the first time Lucas (and us) saw the hedgehog. And while Lucas was pretty bummed about Eliott leaving and I’m sure had a lot of questions, he was still hopeful about it all. This time though? God. It was agony for him because of no Eliott. No note. No text. Nothing. He’s gone. His entire body crashes. Under a read more PER USUAL.

Because Lucas’ mind immediately went to The Bad Place, he didn’t take a look at his surroundings. Eliott’s backpack and jacket, his shoes, his paint-crusted clothes. Nor did he hear Eliott in the kitchen with Manon and Mika. The living room is right off the kitchen so I imagine you can hear pretty well from the couch. It isn’t until he collapses back in the bed and just lays there does he hear Eliott. 45 seconds (I timed it) of pure hell and agony for Lucas. But! Eliott is here and cooking and chatting with his roommates like it’s the most normal thing in the world. A complete 180 from where he was a moment ago. Lucas’ hesitation, his honesty about thinking Eliott left...it just tells us that they didn’t talk much the previous night. Which, I mean, I GET. Lucas and Eliott are teenage boys who are probs constantly horny and clearly had Very Important Things to be doing but this shows that Lucas still has insecurities about Lucille and where he fits in with Eliott.

I love how honest Lucas was. And it’s actually one of my favorite things about Lucas -how honest he always is with Eliott. Even when he wasn’t being honest with his friends or with himself there was always a level of honesty and trust with Eliott. He didn’t have to hide or think about what everything meant. He could just...be. So while yes, he has these insecurities, he still was able to communicate about it with Eliott rather than just let it fester. It’s sad that Eliott couldn’t be honest back about his mental illness but I understand why he held back. Lucas’ words about not wanting mentally ill people in his life are still in the back of Eliott’s mind.

(I’m curious what Lucille is really like? Eliott paints her to be very manipulative. Her helping Lucas understand Eliott’s bipolar gives us a taste of how great she seems to be. Do you get how big of a deal it was that she helped Lucas? She was deeply hurt by Eliott betraying her trust. He left her for the man in front of her and you could tell how devastating it was for her to be there. But her love for Eliott --their love for Eliott-- was bigger than any hurt or angry feelings. It says a lot about her. And Lucas. 

Give me a Lucille season.

Give me all the seasons, to be honest)

I know some people were disappointed we didn’t get the singing/dancing scene from the original but I was okay with how they left it. Nothing more needed to be said at that moment because everything was said in the way Eliott cradled Lucas’s face, the way their foreheads rested together, Lucas’ smile when Eliott said he wasn’t going anywhere, Eliott’s relief when Lucas said he wants something serious, the way they kissed so deeply and passionately. It was perfect. And a perfect segue to the Lundi 8.43 clip.

Lucas’ demeanor and the way he carries himself changes after this scene. His insecurities were gone. He and Eliott were committed to one another. They were happy -so happy. They were open in their relationship and utterly at ease with one another. The clip of Lucas walking down the hallway with the boy crew is where you really notice it. It’s so lovely. And a great contrast to how the week started with Lucas waking up naked and alone.

(let’s also not talk about how the week ends the same way ok?)

[all-things-skam]

if you’re taking requests - can you do one about eliott finding out that lucas threw the first drawing in the trash (when eliott had been so sad and hoping that he’d text him about it + creating a parallel universe about it in the new drawing) and kinda being really hurt?

Title: Crumpled feelings

Ship: Skam France | Lucas Lallemant and Eliot Demaury (Elu)

Lucas was sleeping soundly when Eliott woke up. He smiled, taking in how beautiful he was when he was asleep, his face so relaxed and peaceful. Eliott brushed a piece of hair away from Lucas’s face, chuckling as it stubbornly fell back.

Light was coming through the window and you could hear birds chirping outside. Reaching to the nightstand, Eliott grabbed his phone, checking the time. They had gone to bed late last night so Eliott wasn’t surprised when he saw what time it was.

Regardless of the time, Eliott decided to get up and prepare some breakfast for his boyfriend, knowing Lucas’s sweet tooth would rather eat rolled crepes drizzled in chocolate than a panini.

Eliott gently removed Lucas’s body from him, slipping out of bed. He stretched his arms over his head, about to head to the kitchen when something caught his attention on Lucas’s desk. A crumpled looking piece of paper. Eliott got closer and his heart sank when he recognized the first drawing he left Lucas.

He picked it up, eyes filling with water as he stared at the crumpled hedgehog in bed. He had drawn this with his heart and poured his feelings into these little drawings, did Lucas not like them? Everything he was too scared to say out loud, he scribbled it on these pieces of paper.

Lucas stirred on the bed, a soft whine leaving his lips when he realized Eliott wasn’t there. Slowly waking up, he rubbed his sleepy eyes and saw Eliott standing in front of the desk, a piece of paper in hands, tears in his eyes. Shit.

“Eli-”

“Did you do this?” Eliott asked, his voice small and shaky.

Guilt filled Lucas’s stomach, seeing Eliott so upset, now realizing that maybe these drawings meant a lot more than he thought.

“I can explain.”

He was sad, angry and in pain and he was convinced Eliott was playing him, that he didn’t give a shit about him when Lucas threw the drawing away.

Turned out Eliott did give a shit about him.

“These drawings, as insignificant as they seem, it’s me saying the things I didn’t have the guts to say or do. It’s me opening my heart to you, showing you my true feelings.” He paused, scanning the content of the desk. “Where’s the rest? Did you throw it in the trash too?” Eliott asked, pain in his voice.

Lucas shook his head. “No. I-”

“Where are they? I need them, now.”

Immediately, the brunet scurried from the bed and went to get them, safely tucked in a small box, the one he kept his most precious belongings like photos of him and his mom, a ticket from small art exhibit Eliott took him on their first date and all kinds of memories.

He brought it on the bed and Eliott joined him, the drawing still in his hands, keeping a distance between him and Lucas.

“This one, I drew it because, as much as I wanted to stay in bed with you that Saturday and spend the whole weekend together, I couldn’t. Everything was so amazing that morning and I wish I would’ve never had to leave your bed, quit my love nest, my newfound paradise…but, I had to go home and face Lucille, apologize to her. I watched you sleep for so long, dreading the moment I would have to leave.”

Eliott set the crumpled drawing down and picked up another one. The one where Eliott no25473 misses his chance and Eliott no36572 walk toward his destiny.

“What you said about keeping mentally ill people out of your life really hurt me and, in order to protect myself from getting hurt from your future and inevitable rejection, I backed off and decided that you and I couldn’t happen. I tried to push you out of my life but, truth is, I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Lucas. You were on my mind all the damn time. When I saw you in the courtyard, sad and alone, I wish I had the courage to go to you and talk to you. Make things better for you, for us.”

Eliott picked up the last one, the one Lucas found in his Biology textbook.

“By the time I drew that third one, everything had gone downhill. I truly felt like I had lost you. You don’t know how many times I stayed up at night replaying the decision I made in my head. I was trying to find a way, any way, to get you back. When I slipped the note while you were in the cafeteria line, I saw your hand. I didn’t know what happened but I knew that I was probably the cause of it. After that, I couldn’t live with myself. I was desperate for you to text me when you saw the drawing. I missed seeing you, talking to you, laughing with you…god I missed kissing you and holding you. I felt like something was missing from me…”

As he was listening to Eliott explaining his feelings and thoughts behind each drawings, Lucas felt worse and worse. He didn’t know these drawing meant so much to Eliott - and to him too, until Mika plucked it out of the trash. To Eliott, it must feel like Lucas threw his heart in the trash.

He had to tell Eliott how much he regretted throwing that drawing away. It was a mistake, a huge mistake.

Lucas gently took Eliott’s hand and looked up at him apologetically. “That first drawing… I looked at it for so long. Whenever I missed you or just wanted to remember how I felt that morning, I would go back to it. But, there came a point where looking at it made my heart ache, Eliott. I saw you that night at the party. You promised that you weren’t with her anymore and you were back in her arms, kissing her like I meant nothing to you. You betrayed my trust and I felt like a fool. You have to understand that it hurt too much to even look at the drawing anymore. It made me feel like I was played by you and I fell for it all…it just hurt a lot.”

Eliott pulled his hands away, shifting uncomfortably. “You don’t understand… I’ve been betrayed by people all my life too. The moment they find out that I’m the way I am, they run away from me. Just like you said it, better to stay away from mentally ill people. And, as selfish as it sounds, I thought that I was doing something that would save both of us pain. I didn’t want us to fall in love and feel all these things, only for you to realize that you don’t want someone like me around,” he explained, tears returning back to his eyes.

Lucas looked down, he hated to see Eliott cry, he hated it even more when he was the cause of those tears who were blurring his eyes.

Instead of messing up and saying things the wrong way, Lucas simply flipped the box over, emptying all its content, making Eliott really confused. What was he doing?

‘There’s a reason why your drawings were in there. I didn’t put them here just to put them away. I placed them in here because that’s where I keep everything that’s precious to my heart. It’s the box I’d save if my house was to catch fire and I could only take one thing. What I’m trying to say is: you are important to me, Eliott, and everything we do together means so much.“

Curiously, Eliott started looking through the content spilled on the bed, picking up photos of baby Lucas with his healthier looking mom, a ticket from their first date at the art exhibit, another one from that time they went at the Eiffel tower alone with the cliché selfie they took up there, the tiny hedgehog keyring Eliott got him for their one month anniversary - it used to be on Lucas’s keys but it ended up breaking because it was cheap -, cute sticky notes Eliott had left around and a handful more.

Eliott was speechless. There was so many meaningful things hidden in that box, things he didn’t know Lucas had kept. Without saying anything, he pulled Lucas in his arms. ’'I’m sorry for thinking that you didn’t care,” he said, kissing right at the junction of Lucas’s shoulder and neck.

Lucas hugged back, feeling relaxed in his arms. “I’m sorry that I said the things that I did and made you upset.” He smiled and leaned up to give him a soft kiss only to be interrupted by the rumbling of his stomach, demanding to be fed.

This made Eliott giggle. “The kisses will have to wait…shall we go make crepes first?”

“Or, you can make the crepes and kiss me as you make them,” Lucas suggested and who was Eliott to say no to his cute face.