#goddamn the brainworms got me

[doktorzephyr]

hi im fucking insane and ultrakill somehow got me into angelology. heres some stuff on the archangel gabriel in reference to the occult/abrahamic magick

edit; added the meanings of the tarot at the bottom have fun ;)

As the Divine Herald, he is an angel of guidance, prophecies and revelations. He is also the Patron Saint of Messengers; mail carriers, news outlets, radio stations or any outlet that messages can be delivered through, he’s the one that can aid the most. As the angel who will blow the first horn of the final judgment, he is seen to also represent judgment. He is sometimes even seen as an angel of motherhood due to his announcement of the birth of Christ and John the Baptist and from this he is sometimes given the titles of Patron Saint and guardian of children. He represents the spiritual power of God, His ideals and principles of spirituality. As a result, he is seen as an angel of spirituality, dreams, divination and even magick.

He can be invoked for:

Guidance

Faith

Hope

Strength

Spiritual aid

Dreaming/dream interpretation

Theology

Understanding scripture

Birth

Here’s symbols he is associated with:

Element; Water (Spirituality, change, emotions)

Planet; Moon (Spirituality, magick, guidance)

Day of the week; Monday

Colors; White, silver

Animal; White dove (Holy Spirit)

Tarot; House of Cups, The Star, The High Priestess, Temperance, The Moon, Judgment*

Cardinal direction; West

Season; Winter

Other symbols; White lilies, trumpet, banner, feathers

How to connect with him:

Devotional Activities

Praying

Meditation

Fasting

Reading the Bible

Studying theology

Educating yourself about religion/sprituality

Material Offerings

Flowers (White lilies, white roses, lavender)

Incense (Jasmine, frankincense, lavender, rose)

White wine

Feathers

Perfume

Candles (White or silver)

Prayer cards

Bible verses

Poems/art

Moon, water, magick or religion associated items (moonstone, holy water, tarot card, etc.)

Archangels prefer devotional activities as offerings over material ones, though they will not reject them.

He can help with;

Lucid dreaming

Receiving visions

Developing divination skills and spiritual awareness

Lack of belief

Communication issues

Magick workings

When you feel lost/don’t know how to continue/unsure of how to move forward

His Kabbalistic sigil

His seal from the Heptameron

All in all, Gabriel is a very firm but merciful angel. He can be a bit pushy when you are not doing the right thing, but he is less rough about it than, say, Michael. He has a better understanding of human emotions than most angels and will act a bit more accordingly. When you don’t know where to go in life or have no ideas on how to move on, he is the one that should be contacted. He is also sometimes associated with the divine feminine due to his associations withe the moon and motherhood. He is usually seen as 3rd to God, with Michael or Sandalphon being 2nd.

Some extras about the archangels in general;

Angels mostly see humans like how we see dogs and often have a lesser understanding of human egos. It should be noted that angels have a bit of a reputation of being more difficult to work with due to them expecting a lot of discipline. They will not give you what you want, they will make you work for what you need. If one wishes to work with the archangels, they expect constant self improvement.

bit of a p.s; despite Archangel being the 2nd lowest on the hierarchy, they are the most powerful angels. Archangel is a rank and it means “governing angel” or “ruling angel”, they rule over other parts of the hierarchy (i.e Michael rules over the seraphim, Gabriel rules over the cherubim). Archangels are often called “the great princes”, however, Michael is the only one in the Bible to actually receive that title. The only reason why they are so low on the hierarchy is because they are physically far from God, as they spend their time on Earth helping humanity.

* What each of the tarot cards mean

House of Cups- relates to emotions and matters of the heart. Associated with love, feeling and inner conflict, they ask us to consider what is deeply important to us

The Star- the embodiment of hope and healing brings a message of renewal, optimism, and inspiration. When pulled, remember that the universe is working in your favor, and is encouraging you to have faith in where you are being taken.

The High Priestess- listen to your inner voice and follow your instincts, your mind knows far more than you think. When pulled, stop looking for answers around you and start looking within yourself for the guidance you seek.

Temperance- encourages peace and patience, reminds you to go with the flow of life instead of trying to force a pace and direction. When pulled, it is a message to take things as they come, and remain flexible enough to change with the changes.

The Moon- represents hidden thoughts, feelings, doubts, and fears. When pulled, you may be letting fear overtake your faith in the future. Do not be fooled, you cannot believe everything that you see, hear, or think. Once you bring your feelings to the surface and face them, only then can you rid yourself of worry.

Judgment- your past and future come together. When pulled, reflect on your decisions and actions you have made up until now and make sure that they are bringing you in the direction you want. Remember, your future is not set in stone, and it's never too late to make a change for the better.

thanks for listening to my madman ramblings baiiiii

[bosspigeon]

woke up still half-dreaming about TCM boys so now I've got a slightly firmer grasp of one of the newer ones so yeehaw uh some horny rambling below the cut

Kazu is getting a soft lad with a Pixar mom dump truck ass who is quiet and comes off as a lil bit shy but once he's comfortable very much is capable of being a Soft Dom with a keen focus on positive reinforcement over punishment (tho he will definitely consider it if his partner likes it <3)

had some nice little sleepy images of him calling Kazu a good boy while he rides him, promising him rewards if he behaves well during play, and capitalizing on how soft and cozy his body is compared to all that solid muscle if you catch my drift <3

[gcthamqueen]

but we're running out of time

oh, all the echoes in my mind cry

there's blood on your lies

the sky's open wide

there is nowhere for you to hide

the hunter's moon is shining

i'm running with the wolves tonight

[alchemistc]

Harry twirls a lock of dark curls between his fingers. Tips his chin against Tommy's head and stares up at the ceiling. He considers not asking, this time.

The sex is good, and Tommy's funny, and if he closes his eyes he could imagine there could be something - Tommy twitches and shifts his hand lower like he might be gearing up for another round, and it breaks the fantasy. That's new.

"Tell me about him," Harry says, and Tommy's eyes tip up to glare at Harry.

"Making an assumption, there," Tommy warns, but Harry just raises an eyebrow. Six years of this and Harry knows better than to expect Tommy would show up at his door for any reason other than to get his mind off of something - someone else.

"So we're both asses," Harry intones. He needs to call the super, see what they'll do about the water stain on his ceiling. "Tell me about him."

Tommy sighs. Twists, drifts away to the second pillow, and Harry's done this enough times not to mourn the loss, exactly. It's not like he's ever told Tommy -

"He's too young. Impulsive. New."

Harry fails to hold in his snort. "Okay."

Tommy at 34 had been a fucking hurricane. Newly out, no holds barred, he'd jumped right into the deep end and let the storm whirl him around. They'd been friends, for the first six months, Harry a watchful presence while Tommy made it his mission to be more than the guy in the dark corner getting a risky blowie fifteen minutes before last call. To be out - not loud, that wasn't Tommy's style - but to at least be himself.

He'd lasted two months in a real, actual relationship before he'd shown up at Harry's door with a six pack and a box of condoms.

"He looks at me and sees this - cool suave guy -" Harry shifts, nearly interrupts because that guy is exactly what Tommy projects, even if he doesn't mean to. Fucking Scorpios. "- and I was falling for him."

Yeah. Harry can extrapolate from that. Tommy fell ass over tea kettle and then got spooked.

"He's just so fucking open with himself. No brainworm goes untouched, and he can't hide his emotions for shit, and he's so goddamn stubborn and so goddamn ready to bulldoze through every hurdle ahead without looking back at the damage, and..." Tommy trails off. One hand shifts down to hitch the duvet up over his hips, and Harry adds the duvet cover to his list of laundry. "I gave him too many chances to slow down on his own."

"What, did the kid ask you to marry him or something?"

"He's the Himbo," Tommy retorts, and it takes Harry a moment to make the connection. He whistles through his teeth just to watch the scowl fall into place on Tommy's face. "And the connection freaked him out so much he asked me to move in. To his bachelor pad loft." Harry waits. "It has two balconies, Harry. Two."

"...he knows you have a mortgage, right?"

Tommy shoves at his shoulder. "It doesn't matter. We're just - the timing wasn't right."

"Did you want it to be?"

That's always the thing he ends up hung up on, in Harry's experience. Tommy's scared out of his mind to be the right person at the wrong time. Always has been. There's probably some mommy or daddy issues hidden in there somewhere he hasn't explored. Tommy's eyes drift up to the water stain. "Don't these apartments all have the same layout?"

This is the shove-off. This is his hint not to push. "Yes, and I really don't want to ask how the upstairs neighbor flooded their bedroom. Back to the guy." He's never been one for acknowledging unspoken cues.

"Buck," Tommy says, and the name sounds harsh in his mouth.

"Buck," Harry repeats, and pictures Tommy's usual type - tall, light-eyed, more smiles than common sense. There was always something distinctive, too - freckles, a scar, weird shaped ears.

"I miss him."

It doesn't hurt the way it had those first few years, when Harry was convinced that eventually Tommy would see him as more than a friend to blow off steam with. Still. There's a twinge there, beneath his rib cage.

"So stop missing him. That's an option, isn't it?"

And Tommy does that thing - that frustrating, enchanting thing, where his whole body seems to hold the emotion flickering across his face. "I walked out on him. I dug the damn knife in just to make sure he wouldn't try to convince me to stay."

"Would you have? Stayed?"

Tommy's quiet. The sweat has cooled on his skin, and the lights coming in through his window dance across the skin of his shoulder, his chest, that stupid thick neck of his.

The phone he left on the bedside table is dark, but that doesn't stop Tommy's gaze flicking to it.

"Cards on the table, Tommy?" Harry sucks in a breath. Blows it out through his nose. "Once upon a time, I convinced myself you were it for me. That I'd be satisfied with what you gave me, and I wouldn't ask for more. I cut you out of my life for eight months when I realized how fucking dumb that was."

Tommy frowns. Harry hadn't really ever expected him to notice.

"I've seen you through shitty relationships, and one sided ones. I've heard all the bullshit you and Greg put each other through. I've been there for every fucking heartache."

And he'd offered up his body like it was absolution for always being fucking thrilled when a relationship ended.

"You called me Evan," Harry murmurs, and Tommy's eyes go wide. That's never fucking happened before. This thing wouldn't have lasted nearly as long if he'd ever heard another man's name in his bed before. "You should shower. Go home. Take a day or two, if you need it. But I know for a fact you wait this shit out, justify coming to me with time and space from whatever guy has you strung out. I know it's been a minute already, and I know you've never sounded so unsure about cutting someone loose."

Tommy's gaze flicks to him.

"Whatever it is that's got you so scared of this guy, figure it the fuck out. Because it sounds to me like you fell fast and hard and hit a fucking wall before you ever thought to tap the brakes. That's not fair to you or him. Call him. Text him. Show up at his door with a bouquet or an industrial size bottle of lube and figure your shit out. Together."

Tommy stares at him for a long, long time in silence.

"Them's the brakes, huh?"

Harry hates that he knows exactly what Tommy means. Still, he clarifies. "This is your forever guy." Six years of watching him flail and learn and grow and hurt and love and fuck. He knows a thing or two about Tommy and his flights of romance. Knows this lonely man has never sounded quite so lonely before. "You don't need me, anymore."

He's quiet as his eyes drift back up to the stain. "I'm not his forever guy." Harry can't actually refute that, considering he's never met the guy. But he knows Tommy. Knows exactly how captivating he can be. Knows Tommy's a sucker for that starry-eyed look that so often has meant not love, as Tommy reads it, but idolization. "What if I'm not his forever guy?"

Harry digs toes into the spot in the duvet where Tommy's knees should be. He shifts Tommy about half a millimeter. "He has a nickname you don't call him except when you're punishing yourself. He dated Abby and that shared history didn't scare him off. You'd never let yourself fall for a guy that wasn't throwing clear signs that it was serious. I'd put my odds on him doing something weird and wholesome every time he thinks about you until his entire two balcony loft is filled with trinkets or treats and he still can't get you off his mind."

Harry's never seen Tommy's face do that before. Not in the throes of a honeymoon phase and not in the worst of a bad breakup. It's some awful mixture between unbridled hope and abject despair.

Harry thinks it's probably fair to hate him a little, for that face. He's earned the right.

"If he kicks you to the curb, I'll take you to one of those expensive wine tastings you pretend to hate, and I'll let you drink all my samples too." It's not an idle promise. Tommy may pretend to hate it but Harry fucking loves wine tastings. "If he doesn't..." Harry shoots him a fond look, "...knowing your type I'm not invited to the wedding anyway, so I guess then I'd been seeing you around."

Something shadows his gaze for a moment, but he's quick to hide it, to smack Harry on the chest like they've just had a good game, to shift out of bed and into his briefs before Harry can blink. He doesn't love Tommy. Not the way he'd have liked to, years and years ago. Still, when Tommy shoots him the dorkiest finger guns known to man and scoops up the rest of his clothes to take to the bathroom with him, Harry still wonders what it's like to have him enough to love him fully.

---

The name catches him off guard every time he hears it. 'Evan' isn't hard to filter - Evan had been a popular enough name to immediately write it off but Buck wasn't white noise of a name

Buck was a character in a movie, an old grizzled war vet, a dog. The name Buck wasn't popular enough not to hear it every time it was so much as whispered in his direction.

The coffee shop isn't crowded, but it's not dead either. When the girl at the counter calls out an order for Buck, sliding three cups down the counter, Harry can't help but look up.

A tall broad shouldered hulk of a man smiles a dimpled smile at the barista, and Harry watches him palm two cups and grab the third one in one practiced move. He's cute, Harry thinks. Maybe his grandpa ordered, Harry thinks, a little harder, and then caves, following his path through the three-tops littering the lobby.

Harry catches sight of him without being noticed. He's grinning, one of those rare earnest ones that make his ears rise and his face crinkle like a Shar Pei, hand spread out over something lying open on the table. The little girl on the seat to his right is a surprise, but Harry hasn't spoken to Tommy in two years. Maybe he's had enough time to get his mind around the idea that he's nothing like his father. The girl responds to something Tommy says by palming at as much of his face as she can reach and turning to the man now approaching their table.

"Uncle Buck!" he catches, another firm tug at the part of his brain that's been stuck on this for too long. The man barely gets all three drinks on the table before the girl is launching herself up into his arms, and it's too late for Harry to turn away without notice. Tommy's gaze shifts across the room and lands right on him.

He looks like he might wave Harry over, and Harry would rather die than know whether Tommy would introduce him as an old friend, or by name like Buck should know it. He tips a smile Tommy's way. Raises a brow at the man - Buck - and gets lips being sucked behind teeth in response, and then a slow, subtle head tilt.

Good. Good for him. Harry's never wanted anything for Tommy but to see him incandescently happy.

Witnessing it from a distance is better.

Buck twirls his - niece? - flops her back down on the bench seat next to Tommy and bends to say something that includes a pinky promise. He's got a wine-dark stain just above his brow, and Harry can't quite hide the tip of his smile.

Harry's name rings in his ears as he picks up his drink, and he's halfway to the door, feeling proud of himself for not turning back, when he hears the chorus of three laughs erupting from the corner where he'd taken his last good look.

He'd seen the ring on insta, a week and a half ago. Just an uncaptioned picture of two bands balanced one over the other on a rock, a killer sunset sky blurry behind them. No tags. 102 likes and counting.

Harry pushes through the doors and only glances through the window to watch Tommy tip his head back in laughter for a second, before he's cleared the coffee shop and rounded the corner back to his office.

[shares-a-vest]

Happy MET Gala Day. I wrote some tags on THIS post and instantly got brainworms. cw: In this ficlet, Eddie calls Steve a slut but it is said with affection.

"Steve!" Eddie screams over his shoulder into the next room. But his voice only echoes around him, bouncing off the pristine white walls of the hotel room ensuite that he thinks is as big as his uncle's old trailer, "The car is gonna be here any minute!"

Silence.

He smoothes his hands down his lapel one last time and smiles at his reflection before he turns on his heel and rushes into the hotel suite where he finds Steve right where he left him, in a make-up chair getting all dolled up by Chrissy with Robin by his side.

She is asleep in a bedazzled bathrobe and honestly, Eddie would prefer to join her. Not only is attending the MET Gala an expensive evening (Eddie loathes to think how much money Steve has spent in the lead-up to all this), but it all involves being gawked at and judged and repeatedly asked the same three questions by the press who are just going to make him come off like a real asshole anyway.

"Just getting glam done," Steve says, grimacing as Robin gives a grunting snore.

"Stop eating those flowers, Erica..." she mumbles, dipping her head and nuzzling into the plushy warmth of her collar.

Chrissy rolls her eyes and steps back to examine her handiwork.

Whatever that is, Eddie can't really tell. Steve looks just like his regular pretty self with maybe a spot of shimmering blush. He opens his eyes, fluttering his lashes and – well yeah, whatever Chrissy did makes his eyes pop more than usual.

But those eyes quickly grow dark, shadowed by a frown when Steve gives Eddie a once over.

"Is that your outfit?" he accuses.

Eddie nods and does a little twirl only to spin back around to the sight of Steve pursing his lips.

So much for pleasantly surprising each other with their outfits – the only thing that had Eddie giving this whole deal an ounce of his attention.

"Well it isn't on theme," he continues, shrugging with a nonchalance that would give Anna Wintour herself a run for her money.

"What are you talking about?" Eddie defends, "I'm wearing lace!"

He flaps his jacket to reveal a sheer black lace shirt before lifting his touser legs enough to show off his matching socks.

Steve pinches his nose.

"Eddie, that is a bare minimum!"

Eddie flails his hand in the direction of Steve's barely-there shirt, a sheer number that shows all of his chest hair.

"Excuse me for not dressing like a total slut."

He blushes as Steve stands up to reveal a similarly sheer pair of pants (if you could call them that). Underneath is nothing short of a goddamn codpiece that Eddie is certain won't cover his boyfriend's whole ass and –

Robin snorts again, causing Chrissy to giggle.

She nudges her partner and Robin startles awake, almost tipping back in her makeup chair and Eddie realises that 'doing glam' has taken so goddamn long, all because Buckley decided she needed the world's biggest feathery eyelashes.

"Boring!" she says, taking one bleary-eyed look (if she can see through those bird wings, that is) at Eddie's outfit.

She blows a raspberry for good measure.

Steve turns, chuckling and yep – that is at least half of his ass hanging out in some sort of lace-assless-chaps-codpiece situation that has no business being anywhere but on their marital bed – or a paid-for hotel equivalent.

Maybe they should just stay right here, Eddie thinks as he looks, his mouth agape as he ogles the sight before him.

"Calm down, Eddie," Chrissy warns with a wicked grin.

"Well, it's far too late now for us to do anything about it," Steve pouts, throwing on a floral-embroidered vest that at least covers a shred of his modesty, "I told you to come see my stylist."

"What about my brooch!" Eddie shrieks, pointing to the diamond-encrusted rose pin just above his breast pocket, "It's crystal."

[redbelles]

due to our shared ongoing brainrot: what's a thing that gave you the most brainworms in masters of the air? 👀

since i've already given an insane little spiel about the flying fortress here, i will spare you the ever-present aviation brainworms and go with, uh— curt biddick.

like i'm so sorry but the way barry keoghan portrays him makes me insane, actually?

"let’s knock one off, and drop bombs on those nazi fucks, and we get to go home early," the confidence, the swagger, the little teasing joke about buck sitting in his lap if he didn't preemptively give up the left seat, the genuine concern for bucky but the willingness to hit him nonetheless, "i'm irish," the near-debilitating relief when he realizes the rest of the formation is slowing down so he can keep pace, the fucking little spoon in-joke, the characteristically astute question being played for laughs but it is an astute question! why the fuck are they going to africa! and then, god—

the fog spooks him. it's always spooked him. he heads over to talk to buck on the pretense of finding out how buck and his crew are doing, but it's so, so clear he's looking for reassurance. that he's reaffirming to himself that this clusterfuck of a mission is going to be worth it—that they'll do some real damage—even as it's brutally clear that the critical element of timing is already blown to hell. the way all that fear falls away the instant he's in the air, because he's responsible for his crew. "we're losing her" "no we're not!" he's going to keep his goddamn crew alive. his insistence that he can bring her down safely, even when it doesn't matter. when it would be easier, and safer, and smarter to bail out. dickie's going to die whether or not curt manages the gentlest landing in the world, but fuck, he has to try. he can't not try. it's such a vicious contrast to quinn's choice when babyface is trapped in the ball turret, and it breaks my fucking heart.

all this is nuanced by the fact that curt's story is one of the narrative changes masters of the air made— curt biddick did not die trying to set his plane down so his dying co-pilot could have a shot at survival. in reality, curt biddick burned to death holding his fortress level so that the rest of the crew could safely bail out. he was known as a hard luck pilot, though, and i think the changes successfully walk the very fine line of serving the narrative (see: parallel with quinn and babyface) while simultaneously honoring the spirit of the events being portrayed.

you know that i knew that the regensburg-schweinfurt raid was a shitshow and that i was prepared to watch people die, but god, curt's death still hit me like a ton of bricks. it's so well done, and the acting is phenomenal from start to finish. curt biddick, the man that you were. barry keoghan, the man that you are.

anyway! thank u for the ask! hope u like the fuckin' essay you got in response!

inbox me one (1) thing you want to know about me

[cripplingoptimism]

Distractions [3/3]

Gonna wrap this up in 3 parts. Previous here.

Yo, WHAT was happening on Twitter this week?? Every time I opened the app there was a new analysis of the Goddamn couch scene. I didn't think Trigun could hurt me any more and yet here I am in a new spiral over an internet stranger's hot take.

Anywaaaaay, I've had this brainworm way before whatever angst got a hold of Twitter. I've always interpreted Vash and Wolfwood’s relationship as 'right people, wrong time'. But honestly, I love every interpretation of them - platonic, soulmates, lovers, etc. So, through these comics I wanted to show moments during their journey that conveyed the gradual evolution of their relationship (as I head cannon it lmao). Canonically, Vash never gets to tell Wolfwood how he feels and my poor little heart has been in denial about that ever since. So this is my *slight* rewriting of the series of events leading up to Wolfwood's solo journey.

At this point in the manga (ch. 50) I wanted to show that, despite the 7 month time skip, it's like no time has passed between them. They're still comfortable and casual with each other, still seeking the comfort of distractions - Neither of them wanting to shatter the illusion of normalcy in this moment. And I feel Vash would be the first to ask for more when reality comes knocking (through Wolfwood's fist lol).

He knows, even in a best-case scenario, his time with Wolfwood is limited. And while Vash is just as shackled by duty and guilt as Wolfwood, he carries an optimism about him that Wolfwood lacks. He needs Woolfwood to know how he feels so he can live without regret, regardless of the outcome. As such, he takes the leap. Wolfwood, unfortunately, cannot bring himself to share in that optimism. He’s too absorbed in worry about the orphanage, the children and especially Livio. His heart is screaming at him, but he knows he can’t afford to be distracted by his “selfish” desires. So, he rejects Vash by being realistic and hopes he can see that he wants this too, but just can't bear the impending heartbreak due to their circumstances. Vash does see this. He swallows his disappointment and heartbreak, earnestly grateful for the relationship he still has with Wolfwood.

I know my characterization feels like it conflicts with the moment on the couch; Vash can't even look at Wolfwood for that entire scene despite Wolfwood being the one to try and connect with him ("You look better...when you smile."). However, I never saw that moment as Vash rejecting Wolfwood. Not in the traditional sense at least (maybe an inadvertent rejection). Vash wanted more between them (to share his tomorrows), but not like this - not as a deathbed confession. He's heartbroken and grieving and (somewhat selfishly) can't see that Wolfwood just wants to enjoy his last moments with the one person on this planet he can call an equal and a friend.

Speaking of the dreaded couch scene, I don't think I can add anything new to the discourse, but I will say the tragedy for me really lies in all the emotions Wolfwood goes through:

Being at peace with his death ("This is the way you want it?" "Yeah."). It's what he believed he deserved, with all the blood on his hands, and the mutation of his body, he assumed he could never return to his previous life with everyone at the orphanage.

Grieving for his future (confetti). Wolfwood never believed he could be forgiven. The children celebrating his return showed their acceptance of him, welcoming him back regardless of his sins. He was worthy of forgiveness. His guilt prevented him from even entertaining the thought of forgiving himself. There must have been regret in those tears.

Seeking comfort from the one person he grew to truly trust and Vash not being strong enough to give it. I already mentioned this above, but Vash not even being able to look at Wolfwood throughout the entire couch scene tears me up.

From the narrative's perspective, Wolfwood needed to die. And even knowing that, it still absolutely destroyed me (and still does). Not just because he died, but because right before his death, he was given a glimmer of hope - that had he survived the fight with Livio, he would have had a chance at happiness.

Last side note here: I've seen discourse online explaining the entire scene is a metaphor for a wedding and I just wanna say, you'll be hearing from my therapist.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 63 - I'll Cry if I Want To

You get drunk. Guess who comes lurking?

On AO3.

Getting shit-faced. That is what wine’s good for.

The night’s real pretty. Y’all are inside the grove, all the goblins’re fucking dead, and the druids ain’t gonna let…let fucking wargs or mean bears in here. So it’s safe. There’s a rock digging into your left ass cheek, and you cannot be fucked to do nothing about it. But you’re safe! So it’s fine.

You take another gulp. People say when you got enough alcohol, you don’t notice then taste no more, but those fuckers’re lying liars who fucking lie, and it still tastes like bitter…bitter piss.

Bitch burns, too.

“Shit is gross,” you say to nobody. “The fuck do people drink this?”

Probably cause it makes you warm. And vaguely floating. Your muscles seem to burn a lot more, but you’re still kinda happy. Not like, sing and flail around the living room happy, but happy enough the last…week? Ish? Whatever. The night is pretty. An owl hoots and squirrels run along branches. Bugs creak and hum and a crow in the trees above lets out a sleepy “crk.”

“Sorry!” you say. Realize you’re shouting. Whisper, “Sorry.”

Crows keep grudges, huh? You heard about that. Should let the little dude to back to sleep.

Probably shouldn’t be out in the woods by yourself?

Whatever.

Another gulp. Your whole face wrinkles.

“I thought you didn’t drink?” says a fucking rat man.

You turn. The woods spin a little, and you gotta blink before the two, pale silhouettes become one bastard man.

“’Sa party,” you say. “Errbody’s drinking.”

Why’s he here? You ain’t been gone long. Right? You’re pretty sure.

“How’s Lae’zel?” you say.

He winces. You’re shouting again.

You pitch your voice back down. “How’s Lae’zel?”

He gives you a look. It slides right on past you. “Jealous, dear?”

Your chest hurts again. Still for no fucking reason. “Pff. No. Just surprised how quick it was.”

For some reason, he pulls back in outrage (yeah! you recognize that one!). “Excuse me?”

“It ain’t nothing bad!” You only flail a little. Almost throw the wine bottle and then have to clutch it to your chest. Next to your soul flask. They clink through your shirt. “Just…y’know. ‘Fficient. You’re very efficient.”

He stands there like he’s trying to parse out what you’re saying. Did the potion wear off again? You gotta study more.

And who the fuck cares. You ain’t out here for him. You ain’t out here for nobody except to get shit-faced.

“Why are you out here alone?” rat bastard man says.

It probably ain’t supposed to be funny. Or maybe it just ain’t funny to him. Or anyone but you. But for you? You don’t drink, you don’t hookup, but you do plonk your ass down and get sloshed off a bottle and a half of wine all by your lonesome.

You want ice cream. You would literally kill a man for ice cream.

“If I didn’t know any better,” the bastard fuck boy says, “I’d say you look like you were trying to drink away your feelings.”

You squint up at him. White hair a silvery halo around his head in the moonlight. Eyes shining like new pennies in the low light. Fucker asks your opinion on who he ought to bang, and then finds you afterwards to…to fucking needle you?

You ain’t never been drunk like this. You flirted with getting mildly buzzed. Got borderline tipsy that once when Ryan fucking Meadows ghosted you and you ugly cried onto Sasha’s only clean work shirt.

None of that really processes, though. You ain’t really up to the whole “processing” thing right now; that barn door is long open and them hogs already sprinted for the hills.

“You’re such a dick,” you say, clicking the “k” at the end extra hard. “Pompous goddamn mess of a…of a man dick.”

He blinks like you just sprouted a beak and began reciting the entire works of Shakespeare in chicken.

And you ain’t done. “I got all the fucking reason to be off my damn ass out here, you shit. I lost my whole fucking family. Again. My whole fucking world. Fucking demons and brainworms and your ass. Maybe I just wanted to get drunk all by myself.”

You feel how dry your mouth is, and chug a few more swallows.

“Tastes like shit,” you say and try to scrape your tongue on your teeth. “Don’t know why anybody drinks it.”

Astarion still stands there. Fucking creepo. He’ll get all huffy and leave; toss you some snide bullshit before he goes. Jackass.

Only he don’t. He…lowers himself down. Not right next to you, but within kicking distance.

You think about doing just that.

“What even is that swill?” he says.

You look at the label. At the swirly-spiky letters all swooping together. Turn to him, with the most deadpan expression you can muster, and say, “What’s up, I’m Jared, I’m nineteen, and I never fucking learned how to read.”

It is, hands down, the best joke you ever made in your whole life. You bend over laughing. You cry, laughing. Your bladder twinges and you keep laughing.

But then something happens. And you’re still laughing, and your eyes is watering, but now it hurts. Now you can’t breathe and nobody else is laughing with you cause they don’t get the joke and never will because your world is dead. Not like, actually. But they might as well be.

And like hell you want Astarion to fucking see that. So you shove the bottle at him and turn away like it’s just the giggles. Ain’t nothing to see here. Just a giggly drunk.

No one is ever gonna get your jokes. Ain’t nobody gonna know what “Wednesday my dudes” is. Or the helium balloons. Or the yoga grinch.

Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck.

Wine sloshes in the bottle. Astarion somehow gives an audible grimace.

“I think you grabbed the worst of them, darling. This is pure vinegar.”

You don’t turn around. You try to shove the goddamn sniffles back in your face. You don’t cry in front of other people. That shit ain’t safe. It’s how everybody knows how weak and stupid you are, and you are not gonna give this jackass that ammunition.

But it keeps coming. The smell of the red dirt after a hard rain. Homemade pecan custard pie. Uncle Randy was gonna take you to the Cherokee Days this fall. You was gonna try to learn basket weaving. The old style.

And you up and disappeared on him. On all of them.

Again.

Only this time, you ain’t coming back. This time, you ain’t gonna find no pink bicycle waiting for you cause you ain’t never gonna come crunching back over that red gravel. Never gonna smell them rich pecan trees, and bitch about Uncle Randy’s nasty cigarettes.

This is what you do, ain’t it? You disappear. You run off. You leave your family. All of your family, even the piece of shit parts over and over and over.

The tears coat your cheeks. You swipe at them furiously.

The wine sloshes again.

“Our gith friend had other plans for the evening,” Astarion says after…you don’t know.

You glance up and the sky spins above you. Fuck, you’re gonna make yourself sick you keep this up.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

“That sucks,” you say.

He makes a startled, snorting sound. “There was none of that, actually. And that’s the problem.”

Ah. Ye-awp. That’d do it. That’d be why he’s here with you. His prospect failed, so now he’s come back to you. The easy one.

You sigh and finally lose your fight with gravity and flop onto your side. You wave vaguely over your shoulder.

“Go find one of them tieflings, then,” you say. “They can’t all be paired off.”

You’re tired, actually. Desperately so. The grass is nice and soft, and it’s safe out here, right?

Something shuffles. A rhythmic swish of grass. It’s the change in the air that alerts you. He don’t radiate body heat cause he don’t got none. But he is…surrounded by something a lot like a static field.

You look up to see him on all fours over you, peering down. Not like, over you, over you, it’s just his head. He wears no expression. Just…looks at you.

Have you ever seen him like this before?

“You didn’t seek any playmates of your own,” he says. And who the fuck talks like that?

“I got.” You start to lift your hand to waggle your remaining wine bottle, but your hands is empty. Ah fuck. “I had wine.”

“But you didn’t need to drink by yourself, darling. Both the cleric and the wizard would have gladly followed you out here.”

Well he certainly did.

Still, that blank face. Not, like, shuttered blank. Just…open. Or empty. It’s just his face.

…you should just tell him. All’ve this would be so easy if you just fucking told him. But he dumped you. He’s probably one of them guys who gets real weird when he finds out you’re thirty-five and are the sole provider of your own orgasms.

And it shouldn’t fucking matter.

“Didn’t want to,” you say. And do not elaborate.

Leaving the ball in his court. He fumbles with it. Stares at you like you just tossed him a soggy potato.

You’re kinda curious to see what he does with it.

His eyes narrow. You think he frowns. But it ain’t a pissy frown. It’s a thinking frown. And too late you remember that this bastard clues in on your plans real fast. That he seems to have a decent read on things (that ain’t trying to get into your pants).

Oh fuck.

“You haven’t dabbled with any of our merry band,” he says. Is that thoughtful? He sounds thoughtful. Shit on a goddamn cracker.

Um.

“And you saved me back at that goblin camp,” you say. And give yourself a mental high five, cause if he wants to delve into shit you don’t wanna talk about, take a reverse fucking uno card, jackass!

But he don’t dodge or parry, this time. He fucking leans in. You breathe in some of his own exhale and feel your cheeks begin to warm (through the booze).

“And what if I did?” he says, voice just shy of a whisper.

Oh. You didn’t expect that. Shit. What’s the play here? Uh.

“I’d thank you,” you say.

The sky spins above him. He’s the only steady thing in your vision.

“Is that all?” he says. Y’all are totally sharing lung air now, and his whisper gives you a goddamn ASMR shiver.

Except you’re drunk. And he’s way too close. And the shivers quiver down to your belly. The sky spins faster.

“What if I told you,” Astarion breathes, “that I’ve been thinking about our night together ceaselessly—”

Your stomach lurches.

Oh. That ain’t a shiver or a booze buzz or Astarion. You make some awful gagging sound, wrench up and to the side, and bring up about a bottle and a half of wine.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[whoblewboobear]

Hey sorry if this is weird to say n I know the tags you left on my post the other day when I was joking abt like. How all roads for Jace lead back to Porter like I know they’re old tags and I meant to reply sooner but I really liked what u had to say esp the part at the end I guess abt like. Is Jace returning to Porter even when we try to give him something new tragic or is he glad he got to experience new life with other people who also got to experience new life through essentially the act of creation. I just thought that was a beautiful sentiment. Like I joke about us being in the Zarajace trenches but I love her so much and i get she’s a minor character but it really does make me sad that she’s never seen as a character whose interiority is worth taken seriously. (I literally checked to see if i was crazy and like for example on ao3 she’s only in like 10 works and one is mine two are yours! and the others are like misc Zaraporterjace or sb content n offhand mentions.) I love her so much. Maybe this is silly but even as ‘always a duo’ can be so personal there is something to like. Imbuing a constellation of people including Zara that also get second rich life when we write abt our little blonde guy that we put in Situations :’)

Anyway keep fighting the good zarajace fight ily we’re stronger together! 💪

It's not weird at all! I got so in the weeds with my tags on your post bc Just the idea that maybe we all doomed Jace by tying him back to porter makes me sad but then there's duality to it of, hey he got agency and maybe he's happy too. They started in such a dark place because of the implications within canon but like- the power that creation holds is so special. In the show, Zara had a lot more to work with and I remember being a little scared to write her because it felt so daunting. She already had agency and personality that felt so clear. Like I look at her and I want to be truthful to the seeds that were planted with how she's portrayed. But it really is that same internal debate of did we doom her and take away some of that agency by tying her to Jace? Or is she happy?

ngl I have both you and @italicized-oh to thank for putting the ZaraJace brainworms in my head bc I- wow. Just like- I came into this a starbreaker girlie and fell ass backwards into ZaraJace best friends to QPR to Lavender Marriage pipeline and I think through that, through Jace and through creation Zara is happy. Plus I love that her paramour is still acknowledge a lot of the time. She has such a deep love for them outside of all the Jace and Porter shenanigans. Maybe when the lens isnt focused on her, she's having a full life in her own right. I like to think that she's fulfilled and she's happy. But goddamn I would love to see and maybe even write some Zara charater studies bc as a vampire loving whore, I'm in love with awe of her 😭

Thank you for such a lovely message~ and godspeed in the ZaraJace trenches bc we're gonna need it lmaooo

[eldritchamy]

omg i completely forgot about the grand folia hotel. i read it when it came out, it rewired my whole dang brain, and then i moved on. aaaa im gonna go reread it right now even though I've been up all night and need to sleep (there aren't any plants around to stop me from making self-destructive sleep cycle decisions muahaha). thank you for your post about it! also if it's alright to offer a recommendation, Hospitable Takeover on Readonlymind.com was the second ever HDG fanfic and in my opinion greatly informed the tone of the setting in 2021 and 2022. It's also just super cozy and comfy and a perennial favorite of mine ^w^

You're welcome for the brainworms!

I understand completely, I'm not sure WHAT chapter 10 did to me but I think my brain is a torus now. I didn't THINK I had a free use kink (I PROBABLY still don't, at least as a participant), but I didn't think I had a PETPLAY kink either until this fucking universe started turning me inside out a few days ago.

I'm already rereading The Grand Folia Hotel myself because I feel like given the plot there's a lot more to get out of it by reading it through a second time (somehow I didn't realize that Phoebe was basically in a perpetual lesbian bluescreen from the moment she stepped into the garden in chapter 1).

Plus it was just EXTRAORDINARILY HOT and I can't wait to watch Phoebe/Amaranth get broken all over again.

It's a shame the story didn't keep going into the ongoing corruption and implantation past her initial surrender, the characters had such good chemistry with each other that I'm really craving more of them. Would have LOVED a chapter or two (or six) of newly implanted pinnates, especially with how amused Celosia was by the fact that they fucking tricked her into taking them at all. Celosia and Phoebe are fucking perfect for each other.

Her revenge must have been DELICIOUS.

And GOD Becca must have been so fucking smug about it once Phoebe was ACTUALLY a floret. I need to know the teasing that happened once she got her real implant.

This is what I meant in a previous post when I said I was "frothing at the cerebellum" to read it again. I'm going actually insane.

Which, as many new people are I'm sure rapidly learning about me, means it is Once Again Infodump Time, because I suffer from a terminal case of Someone Needs To Shut Me Up With A Kiss disease. (I am also a long sufferer of Capitalizes Letters For Emphasis syndrome.)

I'm like the free use kink of infodumping, a bunch of people seem to have figured out how to make me do it almost on queue, and they do it, because they think it's cute. I don't DENY that it's cute, but god does it seem to cost me a lot of the time that I meant to spend reading about the good little florets.

I CAN'T keep taking an hour to write every goddamn post I make about HDG. WHEN WILL I SLEEP? More importantly, WHEN WILL I FINISH REREADING CHAPTER TWO? It took me four extraneous paragraphs to even mention that the read more continues exactly from the train of thought I left off on an aforementioned four paragraphs ago! God, I need help.

AND Phoebe never even saw herself in a mirror ONCE in the story! I want to know what happened the first time she saw what the Class Gs were doing to her! (Do you think Celosia put her in Doll Mode and made Amaranth pose in front of a mirror and be perfectly still, watching her own blank expression obediently while Celosia and Jazz just relentlessly caressed her with every imaginable affection? Do you think Phoebe's wake up trigger was Amaranth saying "Good dolls know they are deserving of love. I'm a good doll and I am worthy of love"? Do you think, beyond the moment when she accepted she was meant to be broken by Celosia's will, that that was the moment she understood what it meant to be put back together, and it was the moment she truly felt, and for the first time could not deny or run away from, that she was the happiest she'd ever been? Because I DO think that happened. And I need it.)

It even would have been nice to see INDRA further along in her own corruption later on. Altiss seemed like a good influence on her, it was really sweet that she had that nice moment with Phoebe at the end of the Matinee.

I'm STARVING for more of that specific story, it was SO good. (Keysmasht, if you ever see this somehow, how much of my soul do you want for a few more chapters? I'll beg.)

Hell, I might beg for permission to write those chapters MYSELF someday. That story is too good for there to not be more of it.

Anyway.

Thanks for the recommendation! I can't BELIEVE I've never heard of this setting before now, it's extremely my shit (apparently) and I'm loving the discovery of new, interesting content that I can not fucking put down. Judging by the tags on my posts, and a friend on discord, flinging myself headfirst into all of this has inspired a few other little seedlings to follow me into florethood.

Recommendations from people more familiar with the setting and stories are definitely welcome, though I can't promise I'll get to any one particular story soon.

Abscission and Divaricated come up in a lot of recommendations for lore reasons? But I've been putting off some of the longer stories like those and Dog of War because they're HUGE commitments and it's so hard not to consume as many stories as possible.

Except, of course, for the fact that I keep rereading the ones I've already gone through because I like what they did to my brain.

I'm struggling not to make TWO other ones I've already read (the original and Inosculate) the next ones on the list after rereading Grand Folia.

Hospital Takeover sounds like an EXCELLENT recommendation, I LOVE cozy and comfy stuff within a primarily kink setting. I'm SO glad the second one I ever read was A Normal Grocery Run During Which No Domestication Occurs. I adore the way SapphicSounds writes dorkier more nervous Affini, and I'm glad I got to see THAT QUICKLY how much of a tonal range there was in HDG stories.

Sleepy Bitch also sounds cute, so I wanna do that one soon.

Also the reading of any particular one is slow going because unfortunately my brain is absolutely churning with ideas of my own. I'm VERY tempted to do a pinnates one because I'm absolutely HOOKED on that concept in particular. I already know one of their names and I just came up with a great title for the story while ...rather vividly imaging a very intense domming scene.

I do want to read a fair bit more before I try my hand at writing one, though. While I've got enough domme in me to feel like I could do some of the Affini taunting justice (seeing Akash in the first story use almost the exact domming style I go for was... enlightening, to say the least; now I know why I get such good keymashes out of my teasing victims), I want to have a bit more confidence in the world itself first to make sure I get it right.

But it's far from the first time I've considered writing erotica. I definitely have the brainworms for it at the moment.

[lustrous-dawn]

Some Positivity

I'm absolutely surprised I do not have an image of my sona with a heart so Zhen will have to do it. Especially given his ‘job’

The start of the year for me has been rough. The folks who know my situation know my words are a severe understatement but I can’t let that hold me down. But it has made it abundantly clear that I am loved. 

Loved.

I genuinely have folks who love me for who am I. 

I couldn't ask for any more words than that today.

I am loved for what I am and what I do and that's all I could ever ask for. And I love myself for it.

So today, lets give out a little bit of love to some folk today. 

Edge; @casteliacityramen

I love how you are incredibly indecisive about reblogging some things on your side account. Something that means a lot to a character that someone may get a free hint on. I mean hell I used to do that all the time in my younger days to keep them on my brain to stay a little consistent on it. But man, I'm sure you've been hearing a lot from other people and honestly I'll be one of them hollering in the back about how we love Rio. 

MepersonallyIwanttoseeRaybutwe’llgetthere. 

The point is your story and characters have managed to grab people by the throat. You have an eloquent way of making them pretty relatable and gripping their attention. 

Hope you're enjoying the day with your significant other :0

Owli; @askvekpa

I always wonder if you be like “THERE GOES THIS GIRL AGAIN ASKING FOR HER DANG LUGIAS TO BE DRAWN AGAIN.” I can't help myself. You're too damn good at your craft and your attention to detail on beasties, dragons and animals alike. It's praiseworthy so I hope you always treat yourself kindly when it comes to what you do. Also, you seem to be doing better in the anxiety department, or I hope so. It's been a pleasure to see you be more interactive as of late with others so I hope you have been able to adequately spread your wings in that environment and get better.

Vega; @pokitsune

MAN I SURELY DO MISS YOU RIGHT. I HAVE SO MANY BRAINWORMS ABOUT YAKO AND ROSHI FIGHTING AND TEA TIME WITH ROSHI. Then I remember you're literally a DM away and my ass is just straight-up forgetful. I remember you chatted away about your Ninetales lore and goddamn I was eating it up. It FUELED ME to be so motivated with my characters, you have no idea. And coupled with your old ask blogs, I am so glad we started to chat last year and I am always grateful you send me images of stuff I can relate with on my characters. 

I hope you're having fun with FFXIV and I hope you and gf are doing something good today or both of you are taking some good ass time to relax.

Skins; @asksavel

I mean there are a lot of words I want to say. Overall it is always overwhelmingly positive. We were both there for each other in a horrible mental down. While mines is a bit still ongoing, you still have been sending me kind words and images to make the day all the more bearable. You noticed I have been withdrawn lately and you consider that when talking with me. 

Communication. It's something I always prized and I really appreciate it when we have chatting. Thank you so much for being the person you are and helping me. It has meant a lot to me.

Kai; @bunnkick

I'm pretty sure you weren't expecting me to do this! But HA I GOT YOU NOW TODAY. 

EVER SINCE YOU TOLD ME YOU CONSIDERED ME A FRIEND I HAVE BEEN LIKE A NERVOUS LITTLE PERSON TO CHAT MORE WITH YOU. I have been doing good to shoot messages your way to check in on you though and I'm proud of that much. Ah, I love your work man. I have been saying this for years as I have been working with you and imma saying it again, your style rocks man. And the chats we have, I love staying up for 3 hours to chat with ya. It's always a great time. 

Now I gotta hit you up for shows. I have been watching some and I always loved your insight ~

[lavena]

Tmnt headcannons and a psa for those like 3 toxic ppl

87

- Raph can get the highest flips pit of all his brothers

-Leo found out how to make the brushes used for Kanji n such for fun and will sometimes make wallpaper with his favorite quotes

-donnie breaks the fabric of the universe at least once a week and no one is surprised

- mikeys accent is fake, he actually has a Bronx accent, he just liked the sufer persona so much he decided to commit

90s

-Leo got the go ninja go song stuck in his head for years

-Raph is the best break dancer and will go to clubs with his brother sometimes

-Donnie will sometimes escape to scap yards for hours on end just tearing appliances apart

-mikey has anger issues, as seen by him beating the shit out of a punching bag in the deleted scene (April's drawing of mikey)

2003

-leo will get "the batman" voice whenever he is stressed

- mikey has night terrors

-Raph knits

-dons guilty pleasure is Celtic sings (tir na nog, teir abhaile riu)

2007 (dint mind me leading this tf up)

- raph learned Spanish because one of the kids he met on the street as Nightwatcher spoke it and raph wanted to be able to talk to the kid and make sure he ls alright

Leo get vivid nightmares after the Winters debacle

-mikey after working as cowabunga carl has nightmares

- Raph got shot when he first started being a vigilante

-don and mike are twins

- Dons tech support leaves him more sarcastic than ever, which is really funny for his brothers, but leo gets whiplash for the first bit after he gets home

-don holds a grudge against raph and leo, and sometimes their father but never enough for it to affect their family

- Leo got really good at hiding in the shadows to the point he scares the shit out of raph in the mornings

-raph started watching tellanovellas with their father after his nightwatcher thing

-mike will bake custom cakes for his cowabunga carl gigs for an extra price, at first it wasn't very successful but then word spread that they were the best goddamn cakes around and people started to ask for cakes even if they didn't have a kids birthday. Let's just say having a turtle at your quinces or receptions became an inside joke.

-don and mike are up at the crack of dawn, mike cause he likes to bake the cakes the day of so they don't dry out and the frosting doesn't get the weird hard bits after refrigerating and don because he needs to inject coffee and acetometaphin into his veins to deal with these stupid fcuking people

-leo had to use an automatic rifle once in the jungle and he vows to never again

-raph and Casey spent one too many times out till the break of dawn, Casey almost got fired, but raph and him made up a story, put on voices and treachcoats all that jazz. Now Caseys boss thinks he has ties with the mafia... it gets really runny when April finds out and chases them down

-don and mike spend mornings listening to lowkey but hyping songs to get ready in the morning " a boy named pluto" mainly because don can't handel anything loud and mike will cry if the song doesn't have some kind of sway to it

- Raph became the nightwatcher after witnessing the og guys death, poor guys traumatized

2012

- mikey is the best at disappearing, but only after don invested the egg shell smoke bombs

- Leo voice box was permenatly damaged when he was attacked b4 the farm house arc, it gets really bad when he is stressed

- Raph after the whole brainworm thing (is that cannon or fannon, im like 70% sure it's cannon but idk) gets really spooked around insects and worms, especially if he can hear them moving

- Donnie got a chem set for Christmas from his brother, but he knows they really just stole stuff from nycu, he loves it

2018

- Raph gets sad sometimes that he isn't smaller cause he wants to be help, his brother make sure to give him a really big group hug, doesn't solve anything but he knows he is loved

- Mikey spray paints, it started with the sewer walls, but now he does abandon buildings too

- Donnie built himself the best noise canceling headphones, and then built all his brothers pairs because they kept asking to borrow them

- Leo ugly laughts at the fnaf sb freddy memes, all of them, it makes everyone who hears it wheeze

2023

- Leo is so goddamn anxiety ridden, this poor boy

- Finally a raph that does violent right, yeah it might (read deffo will in hs) end up bad, but never for his brother, cause he protects them with that violence and anger

- Don definitely learned how to speak Korean so he could watch k-pop interviews as they aired

- Mikey is a natural at martial arts

That's all I got for now, but quick psa

There has been a bit of toxicity regarding raph fans, like 3 of them. Everyone else is great, so for anyone experiencing hate from those people like @theunicorncomic-blog and @incorrect-2003-tmnt-quotes ( like people are being toxic to them not that they are toxic) along with anyone else experiencing toxicity from the 3 Raph fans

I am so sorry, I know it can be stressful and they seem to like to target things that are personal. So just remember it doesn't matter who your favorite is, it doesn’t matter if you hate a character, we are tmnt. We are TMNT and we love our ninja boys, and we always will. Embrace the new iterations, learn of the old, no matter what it will bring you joy to see our boys out n about getting love.

Spread love and affection, and ignore those who are violent without reason.

And for those like 3 toxic raph fans, I get that you are upset about people disliking raph or feeling like his personality is costing other characters, but something to remeber is that, we love raph, he is a great character, what we are upset about is that the writers make him "angry, strong, rule breaker" and nothing else, they don't let him grow, they don't let him experience, for example the other characters start out as this. " Mr. Rules, Ninja, Leader by name only" and then let him grow to " leader through experience, kind, and willing to risk it all for his family" another " know it all, annoyed, non confrontational" and let him grow to " empathetic, strong willed, smart" they allow the other characters to grow, while sticking with their base. So the Raph we want to see at the end of a series is " willing to do anything to protect, strength through family, and angry at injustice" we can see it be set up in 07 and 03, but the others leave him as an angry, violent jerk who is funny mind due, but non the less we are left wanting more from someone who tends to be one of the more focused on characters.

TLDR, we are upset that Raph suffers as a character from lack of mobility, in a main position he has the options to, but the writers don't give it to him, and by doing so it costs the other characters. So stop being toxic and giving your character a bad rap by using slurs against the people who have different views from you. Just remember there is way more good than there is bad, don't let these 3 ruin things for everyone else or warp your view of others

[astralnymphh]

Sorry not sorry back to yap in your inbox about Werewolf!Ellie because yoy cursed me with brainworms so you have to deal with the consequences!!

Anyway do we think Joel is also a werewolf? Do they run around together on full moons, being silly? Father and daughter wolf shenanigans?

Thank you for your time, have this wolf eating a watermelon

in the official fic that i'm doing? unfortunately no. but there's a reason and it has lore and it feeds the main plot. which i will get into eventually one day!

but if there was an au in which they were, i think it'd be pretty darn cute. but i honestly see ellie knowing more about werewolfism and werewolf living than joel: maybe she had been maledicted with it first, thus leaving joel with the consequences of a werewolf teenager.. until he got cursed with it, too. ellie finally reveals her covert little wolf coven-cave after months or years of secretly sojouning out under the cold-lit moon. watching joel weather through those initial tenderhooks of hesitation; the breakthroughs of hunting like a wolf, tracking like a wolf, eating like a wolf, he can't exactly apply his skills from the human mindset of it. nothing orthodox about tearing into the flesh of a deer! eventually, though, i think you could catch the pair of them frolicking in the white rush of a river with their maws open, doing some good old-fashioned fishing. (ellie for sure shakes the water off her fur right next to joel. i mean, she does it as a human, too. dripping all over the kitchen floor goddamn it!)

also that picture is very silly. werewolf!ellie delivering a fresh, succulent watermelon to joel bcus he's not so sure about raw animal meat.

[dr-peppers-monster]

Alive, With You–Chapter 3: Time Lost, Time Gained

← Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

Read this story on AO3 here!

Fandom: Cyberpunk 2077

Fic Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/V, Johnny Silverhand/Female V

Chapter Summary: V and Johnny spend some quality time together.

——————————————————

V opened her eyes slowly, the morning light pouring into her and Johnny's bedroom. She looked over at her now-husband and saw that he had already been looking at her.

"Hey, you." She whispered, her voice crackly.

"Mornin'." Johnny said, affectionately moving a piece of her hair out of her face.

"You okay?"

"Mhm. Just lookin' at you."

V smiled, but concern washed through her.

"I'm sure I'm looking in peak physical condition with my bedhead right now. Sure you're alright?"

V wiggled over to Johnny's side of the bed and cuddled into the crook of shoulder. He put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head.

"All good. Just was thinkin' about things this morning. Used to watch you sleep a lot when I was inside your head."

"And you fell in love with me anyway?" V teased.

"Somehow, despite every ugly face you made."

"Asshole." V laughed, rocking her whole body to gently shove him.

"Just...life's never been so good, ya know? Not used to it, is all. Waitin' for the other shoe to drop. For me to fuck somethin' up, like I always do."

V moved to where she was sitting up, putting her hands over one of Johnny's. She looked into his dark eyes, care and fear in them in equal measure.

"Not a fuckin' chance.” She began. “We've been to hell and back, and probably worse, to be able to just...live. Not giving’ that up for anything. I know it's hard to shake the feelin' that shit is just lurkin' around the corner, but we're allowed to be happy for once in our goddamn lives. You used to be my brainworm, now you're the one who can't get rid of me."

"Hmm." Johnny chuckled lowly. "Just hard to shake the cynicism after all this time, I guess."

V shifted to where she was sitting in Johnny's lap, her legs tucked up behind either side of her.

"We've been through a lot. You've been through a lot. It's not gonna feel better right away." She paused, her expression brightening a bit before she spoke again. "But we've both changed, Johnny. For the better. Us, the two most stubborn assholes to ever darken Night City's doorways."

Johnny put his hands on top of V's thighs, caressing them gently with his thumbs. "Since when are you Mrs. Pep Talk over here?"

"Well, the Mrs. part is recent." V said sweetly, making Johnny smile. "Almost dyin', almost...losin' you. It changes your perspective. The bullshit really didn't matter anymore. Found what really matters." She put her hand on Johnny's cheek, and he turned his face slightly to kiss her palm. "This. Us. Livin', breathin', makin' out and makin' love and all the fun shit we worked so hard to finally get to enjoy. Actually enjoy, not the shit we used to do to numb the pain or be self-destructive. I'm done being so goddamn angry all the time, so fuckin' sad. I want that for you too."

Johnny’s smile grew into a more confident one, his eyes brightening.

"Yeah, fuck bein' sad." He said firmly. "Gonna make sad our bitch."

V laughed, the sound of it making the whole room seem brighter to Johnny.

"That's my Johnny."

"Val...thanks. Know it's not always easy bein' around someone like me."

"You were forcibly stuck in my head for a year and after we got you out I still chose to be around you forever, gonkbrain. Remember? Had a whole party about it, fucked on every square inch of a hotel suite about it, remember all that?"

Johnny exhaled through his nose, grinning. "Couldn't forget."

"I'll pep talk the shit out of you as long as you need. Some days I still feel weird and shitty and sad too. But, and fuck me I am about to sound so sappy right now, I look at you and…it makes all those gross feelings go away."

"That is really, really sappy." Johnny teased her. "Go on."

"Just shut up and come here already." V said in faux exasperation, giving him a big smack of a kiss on his lips and then peppering little kisses all around his face. She then leaned over further to wrap him in a tight hug, gently caressing the back of his head. Johnny sighed deeply, his shoulders becoming less tense by the second as the two of them held one another.

When V pulled back from their embrace they shared a few quiet moments while she ran her fingers gently along his collarbone.

"Hey." She said quietly. "Always come to me about this stuff, kay? I'll do the same."

"Deal."

"Kick your ass if I find out you're sad without me."

Johnny snorted. "I'll hold you to that."

Johnny stretched his arms out above his head, and V took an opportunity to sneak in another tight hug around his waist. His arms fell gently on top of her shoulders.

"Cute when you're sappy." Johnny teased, his voice slightly muffled in her ear.

V pulled back from the hug and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Don't get used to it. Won't be this nice to you all the time."

"Wouldn't want it any other way."

"So!" V said, her turn to stretch. "What's on the Silverhand agenda today?"

"Don't know about you but I'm fuckin' starvin’." Johnny replied.

"Huh, we haven't eaten since yesterday have we?"

"Uh uh. Would kill for a cheeseburg right about now."

"Fuck that sounds good. Let's do it."

"Is Dani's Diner still around? Greasy spoon kinda' place, just before you really get out into the Badlands. Was popular when I was alive the first go-round."

"It is! God, I haven't thought about Dani's in, shit, a hot minute. If it's been around since your time you know it's an institution."

"You callin' me old, V?"

V giggled. "Bet your ancient ass I am." She draped her arms over his shoulders, leaning in close to his face. "Lucky for you, I'm super into sexy once-dead old dudes."

"Fuck it, I'll take it." Johnny said with a shrug. He closed the distance between them and kissed her until she was dizzy.

"We're never gonna get out of bed with you kissin' me like that, Mister."

"Then I'm doin' my job right." Johnny responded with a cocky smile, taking her face in his hands and kissing her again deeply.

After a quick makeout session, they finally got out of bed to start the day. V went to use the bathroom and when re-entered the bedroom she couldn't help but laugh when she saw Johnny holding Nibbles up under his arms, his legs dangling below him.

"Why are you dangling our cat?" She said, laughter still in her voice.

"This little bastard was trying to scratch up my leather jacket. Gotta learn a lesson."

"Air jail for you, bud!" V said to Nibbles.

"Remember who the real man of this house is." Johnny said to Nibbles, the cat watching him confusedly. "I'll be watchin' you."

Johnny put Nibbles down and Nibbles scampered away, entirely unfazed by the lecture and brief time served in air jail.

"Dudes with cats.” V said, leaning up against the bathroom’s doorframe. “So fucking hot."

"You're bein' way too nice to me today." Johnny said with a grin as he slipped his jacket on over his shoulders. "Don't trust it."

"Good. Keeps you sharp." V said, the movement of her lips driving Johnny wild as she spoke.

"If I wasn't halfway to starvin' to death, know I'd push your sweet ass against that door and take you right now."

"I know." V said, putting a finger under Johnny's chin. "The anticipation makes the fuck all the better later."

Johnny smiled at her proudly, adjusting the growing bulge in his tight pants before they headed out the door.

————————————

Johnny and V took V's favorite bike for their drive out to the desert's edge. Johnny took the throttle, with V's arms wrapped around his waist. The feeling of Night City air flying past them, good tunes blasting from the radio, and his wife's warm arms wrapped tightly around him–this was Johnny's nirvana. He felt on top of the world in moments like this, so far away from the nightmare that had been his and V’s reality only been a few short months ago.

When they pulled up to the diner, Johnny pulled off his helmet and then looked over at V. She slipped her helmet off over her head, shaking her hair out around her. The way the golden sunlight hit her face, her hair shining in the breezy desert air, Johnny felt his heart skip a beat.

"You're too much, girl." He said to her, pulling her to him by her chin and planting a kiss on her lips.

"Learned it from you, baby." V said, her voice the tiniest bit raspy from the dry air. "Being too much, I mean."

"Val's got jokes today." Johnny replied as he put his arm around her shoulder. "How much time you think we got until–"

"5 minutes, tops. Let's try and grab a table first."

When they entered the sleepy roadside diner, a few heads lazily looked over at them. Truckers, local folks, the typical assortment in a place like this. 

"My stars, that is not little Johnny Linder in my diner!" An older woman said in a thick Texan accent, looking at them from across the restaurant's long counter. She was a tall woman with curly brown hair tied up in a 1950s style bandana and a 1950s style blue diner waitress dress to match.

"Ho-ly shit, Betty?" Johnny replied, pulling down his aviators in genuine suprise.
 Betty quickly wiped her hands on the towel in the pocket of her apron and approached Johnny and V.

"I suppose it's Silverhand though these days, ain't it? Big famous rockstar now.”

"Can't believe you're still workin' here." Johnny said. "S’good to see you.”

"So sorry darlin'," Betty said to V, "I was just so blown away by seein’ Johnny in my diner again that I forgot my manners! Johnny, are't you going to introduce me to this lovely young lady?"

"This is my wife, V."

"Just V?" Betty asked.

"Just V." V replied with a smile.

"Well, it sure is lovely to meet you V. Johnny here used to come into this diner all the time when he was just a teen lookin' for trouble. And a triple cheeseburger, of course."

V laughed. "Glad to see nothin's changed!"

Seeing Betty over fifty years older than he remembered hit Johnny in the gut as a reminder of the chunk of time he had lost. But it also reminded him that not everything good in the world disappears forever. Some things, like a cheeseburger at a greasy spoon in the desert, were still right there waiting for him when he got back.

"Wow, Johnny.” Betty continued. “I heard all about everything that happened to you two on the news. It all sounded too wild to be true!"

"Imagine how we feel." Johnny replied with a small grin, crossing his arms in front of him.

“If you don’t mind me askin,” V began, “Who’s Dani?”

“Dani is my momma!” Betty said with a big smile. “God rest her soul, been passed some 20 years now. Ran this place like a well oiled machine. This place was her baby, and now it’s mine.”

“Sounds like she was a real force of nature.” V said admiringly.

"She sure was, honey!” Betty said proudly. “Well, well, I could take your ear off all day. Let's get y'all sat and fed. Come on kids!"

V felt a distinct fondness for Betty immediately, her demeanor a far departure from the people she was used to interacting with.

The couple placed their orders and when Betty walked away, V couldn’t help but notice a faraway look in Johnny’s eyes.

“She was, Christ, maybe 20, 25 when I saw her last?” Johnny said quietly. “This lost time is fuckin’ me up right now.”

“I can imagine how weird that must be. Probably nice to see a familiar face though huh?”

“Strangely enough, it is. Not a lotta people I can say were honestly just nice for the sake of it, ‘specially in Night City. Betty’s good people.”

“Who’s the sap now, Mr. Silverhand?” V teased.

Johnny smiled, and then craned his head a bit to one side.

“Are they here?” V said with an annoyed sigh.

“They’re here. Smile pretty.”

A group of 5 different newscasters and their accompanying photo drones burst through the diner’s doorway, beelining towards the couple.

“Johnny! V! You’re the hottest couple in Night City! Just a few quick questions! Everyone in the city wants to know!” The reporter who got to them first yelled.

Johnny was about to stand up to confront them when V motioned for him to stop.

“Let me handle this one.”

Johnny smiled knowingly and sat back. V was smart, resourceful, and unpredictable. He loved to watch her work.

“Seems a bit rude to interrupt newlyweds on a lunch date, hmm?” V said to the reporter. “I’ll make you a deal.”

Before the reporter could say anything, she was startled by the sound of all of the camera drones belonging to the wave of reporters behind her fizzling out and crashing to the ground in an instant.

“O-okay.” The reporter said in a shaky voice.

“Take a nice chunk’a eddie’s from your editor’s budget and put it in this fine establishment’s tip jar. In exchange, you get to take one picture and I won’t fry your expensive drone like I have all to all the ones behind you. I’m only bein’ nice to you because you pushed through a lotta people to get here first, and that takes some guts.”

Johnny felt his heart pound wildly in his chest watching V do her thing, his bubbly wife turning stone cold the second she re-entered her merc mindset.

“That…seems reasonable.” The reporter said, clearing her throat. “Eddies sent. We good?”

“Fine.”

The reporter gave them a ten second countdown. V sat down next to Johnny, planted a less than PG kiss on his lips and flipped off the camera behind her. Johnny followed suit with his own middle finger, giving the reporters quite a memorable photo indeed.

“Fantastic.” The reporter said, gratitude mixed with fear in her voice. “Thank you, you two.”

“Have a nice day.” V said with a sickeningly sweet fake smile and high pitched voice.

The reporters all left the building and Johnny looked over at his wife, impressed and massively turned on.

“You get me so fuckin’ hot when you do shit like that.” Johnny growled in her ear before kissing the edge of her jawline.

“Interrupting my cheeseburger date with my husband? Fuck ‘em.” V responded, crossing her arms victoriously.

“Wow, that was some way to clear out some nuisances!” Betty said as she approached their table with their food. “‘Preciated the tip, too!” She added with a wink.

“Least I could do, Betty.” V replied apologetically. “Sorry for the trouble.”

“Dealt with worse than some vulture Night City reporters in my day. Some impressive netrunnin’ you did to those drones there, Miss V.”

“She’s one of the best to ever do it.” Johnny said proudly, stretching his arms out behind his head.

“Thank you.” V said. “I have very little patience for people like that.”

“Well you sure got rid of em lickety split! Enjoy your burgers, Mr. & Mrs.”

V and Johnny took bites out of their burgers and there was a few moments of blissful silence.

“Fuck, this is so good.” V finally said, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“As good as I remember.” Johnny replied.

“Can’t promise I’m not gonna fall asleep on your shoulder on the ride back.” V joked.

As they were finishing their food, V’s phone buzzed in her pocket, and she checked it to see a text from Kerry.

“You two crazy kids!! 😆 Nice pic on the Net!”

Attached to the text was the picture of V and Johnny the reporter had taken.

“Damn, they work fast.” V said with a satisfied grin, showing the photo to Johnny.

“That’s a sexy fuckin’ couple right there.” Johnny replied. “Should frame that one.”

“Bet your ass.” V flirted.

“Gotta give em somethin to talk about!” V replied to Terry. She was about to put her phone away when a few more texts popped up:

Panam Palmer: “You guys are gross 😜 Come visit us sometime!”

River Ward: “Warn me so I can cover my eyes next time, V 😂”

Dino Donivic: “You sexy motherfuckers! Fuck the press! 🤘”

El Capitán: “Qué caliente, mamita! Looks like retirement is treating you well 🔥���”

V laughed as her phone pinged over and over.

“We’re bad influences, it seems.” She said, looking mischievously at Johnny.

Johnny shrugged proudly. “Got a reputation to uphold.”

“Got a reputation for bein’ a real showstopper in the sack too.” V said, keeping her voice low. “Gonna uphold that for me later too?”

Johnny felt his skin tingling as V flirted shamelessly with him, watching the way every word poured from her lips like honey.

“Time to go.” Johnny said quickly, and V laughed as they both quickly scooted out of the booth.

“Check’s covered Betty, keep the change.” Johnny said as him and V linked hands and started walking towards the exit.

“Everything was amazing!” V added.

“Thank you sweetie pie. Come back and see me again soon, okay Silverhands?” 

“Will do!” V said, giving Betty a small wave before they rushed out the door.

Betty smiled all she watched the couple leave, then looked down at her register to see the payment V and Johnny had made. To her shock, the “change” Johnny had left was 25,000 eddies.

“Knew there was a good boy in there.” Betty said was a grateful smile.

————————————

V and Johnny arrived home, and walked upstairs to their bedroom. Their top floor had an open balcony where they could see out their home’s large windows and the ground floor below. V leaned back against the railing and put her arms around Johnny’s neck.

“I saw that tip you left at the diner. My Johnny, being so sweet and generous. That really gets me going.” 

Johnny pulled her in closer to him by her waist. “Gonna do somethin’ about it, or–“

“Shut the fuck up–“ V interrupted him, crashing her lips into his and setting his mind instantly ablaze. They were all over each other in an instant, fingers on skin and clothes flying every which way.

V pushed Johnny up against the railway and kissed him down from his lips, to his chin, his neck, down his chest and as she moved further and further down Johnny inhaled sharply in anticipation.

V got on her knees and looked up into Johnny’s eyes as she licked along the length of his erection.

“Fuck, V–“ Johnny groaned, leaning back on the railing for stability.

“You taste so good, baby.” V hummed, taking his tip into her mouth and skillfully maneuvering her tongue around it.

V put one of her hands up on the v line of Johnny’s hips, running her fingers along his body. Johnny felt a delicious chill flow through him as his senses went into overdrive.

Johnny looked down into V’s eyes, her gaze set aglow by a sunbeam passing into the room. She looked at him like he was everything he ever wanted. He felt the need in her eyes, and he needed her just as badly

V worked him with her lips and tongue, moving deeper and faster as he responded to her touch. He moaned, grabbing the top of her head with his organic hand. She felt herself growing wetter and wetter as he writhed in pleasure above her.

“So fucking good–“ Johnny choked out. “Don’t wanna finish yet. C’mere, turn around.”

V popped Johnny out of her mouth like a lollipop and smiled ravenously at him as she stood up. He flipped her around so her body was bent in half over the railing and quickly slipped into her from behind.

“Ah, god baby you fill me up so nice–“ V moaned.

Johnny smacked her ass with his chrome hand, wrapping his organic hand around her jaw as he thrusted into her. He put his hand near her lips and she took one of his fingers into her mouth, biting it gently.

“God damn, you’re fucking perfect–“ Johnny sighed between ragged breaths.

V felt the railing press into her just below her ribs, the slight pain only adding to the beautiful sensory overload she was experiencing.

Johnny angled V’s head around back to him with the hand around her jaw, and their lips met in a crooked, messy kiss.

They gasped into one another’s mouths, both of them rapidly approaching their climaxes.

To V’s surprise, Johnny pulled out of her. He turned her around to face him and lifted her up to where she was sitting on the railing. He used his chrome hand to keep her safely balanced on the railing, and then put himself back inside of her. He wrapped his organic arm around her waist and pulled her in close as he regained his pace, their lips finding each other once again.

V’s moans turned into frenzied cries of pleasure, scratching her nails down Johnny’s back as he ravaged her. He knew they’d leave a mark. And he couldn’t get enough.

“That’s my girl. Scream for me.” Johnny groaned into her ear.

“Fuck baby, Johnny fuck fuck fuck!” V cried out as her orgasm rocked through her, every nerve in her body on fire.

Johnny’s climax soon followed, burying his face in her shoulder as wave after wave of sweet release washed through him.

V moved Johnny’s messy hair out of his face and devoured his lips with hers, desperate for more and more of him.

Johnny lifted V up from the railing and laid her down gently on their bed nearby, positioning himself on top of her as they continued to kiss like their lives depended on it.

When they finally pulled apart for air, Johnny landed with a loud thwump beside her. V immediately took his hand in hers, linking their fingers tightly together. Johnny lifted V’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.

“You’re so good.” V said, her chest rapidly rising and falling as she worked on catching her breath.

“I am, aren’t I.” Johnny replied, a crooked grin on his face.

V smacked Johnny in the chest with her free arm, making him laugh.

“You’re not too bad yourself.” He said, looking over at her with his big brown eyes as he kissed her hand again.

“Mhm, don’t puppy dog eyes me.”

“Know you can’t resist.”

“Fuck off.“ V laughed. “…hate that you’re right.”

“Know you got me wrapped around your finger, girl.” Johnny said, his tone softening. “Pisses me off how down bad I am.”

“Being in love is so fucking annoying right?” V joked. “We’re supposed to be these cool independent badasses and then we just had to go and fall in love with each other.”

“Truly tragic.” Johnny teased, stretching his arm out for V to cuddle up to him. She quickly did just that, resting her arm across his chest.

“You wouldn’t trade it for anything.” V said sweetly.

“Yeah yeah, I’ll keep ya around.” Johnny responded, kissing her forehead.

The room grew quiet, save for the thumping rhythm of their still-racing heartbeats.

“Johnny?” V said, so quietly it was nearly inaudible.

“Hm?”

“Just…love you. A whole lot. Mean it.”

Johnny put his hand under V’s chin and lifted her face up to kiss her. This kiss was gentle, romantic, devoted.

“Love you, my Valerie. Always. Mean it.”

V smiled so brightly that Johnny couldn’t help but smile himself. Love looked good on both of them.

← Previous Chapter | Next Chapter →

[itookyoudown]

For the character ask game will you do the whole Lexington team?

i accept this challenge 😈

let's do this speedrun style.

LEXINGTON LAWMEN LET'S GO

Art

How I feel about this character: he's ... all right! i think he's perfect for his role in the show and he's got some nice little details (the hearing aids, his relationship with leslie & family, etc) and he has some great lines. S2's Blaze of Glory is FASCINATING for him and is my favorite Art episode ... that ending with Frank!! dksjfks both sad and funny and wow what an entirely human true neutral way to approach the outlaw VS lawman cat and mouse dynamic 10/10 no notes. we also get some interesting glimpses at his inner darkness + capacity for violence in him that's ... hm now that's very interesting (that time he smacked Boyd with the bible, the interrogation with the phonebook, him decking Raylan, etc) but i think overall he falls too much in line with the "Police Chief" character archetype. since Justified is a western masquerading as a police show, Art should have felt more like a sheriff but he didn't. Raylan was the sheriff of the show. though as Justified always does with their characters they gave Art a lot more personality and layers than LEO shows usually give their big boss characters. i also LOVE that Art's hope and trust in Raylan is FOREVER dashed and is never repaired during the show, such a great twist on what usually happens with the chief and their cowboy subordinate.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: ...well...i wouldn't call it "romantic" but i think we deserve at least one fucked up gross Art/Tim dead dove daddy issues smut fic, as a treat (for me) 🤡

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Art & Raylan. his odd almost-surrogate father/son dynamic where he literally disowns Raylan during the show is goddamn great and i never tire of it on rewatches of the show. i really wish we'd see it explored more in fic.

My unpopular opinion about this character: i don't think there's enough opinions on Art for anything said about his character to be unpopular, but ... i think Art had one gay experience when he was younger like @praycambrian's Art and stanley tucci fic is just canon to me.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: more Art & Tim interaction!! remember when Tim gets mouthy and bratty and Art verbally lays into him with a DON'T BE A SMART ASS??!! yeah i needed to have more of Tim toe-ing the chain of command and Art putting him back behind the line, please.

Rachel

How I feel about this character: she's cool! i like Rachel, but i don't love Rachel. she's just too prim and professional and filling the role of The Lawful Good Lawman to spark any fandom brainworms in me. she has my respect though. i still adored her place within the show, however. badass lady black marshal that's good at her fucking job and doesn't backdown in the face of assholes!! get it. the ways she was able to clap back on racist bullshit without the writers falling down a preachy rabbit hole for her was also chef's kiss.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Rachel/OMC and Rachel/Raylan as a treat (for her). sorry lesbian or bi Rachel truthers, that's a straight woman. in my head, after Rachel becomes the Seattle marshal she begins seeing a black man who works some sort of legal practice job with a divorce under his belt as well. they eventually married and live as Dog Parents Ever After 😌

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Rachel & Nick. loved her relationship with her nephew, she's done right by him and stepped up for her family i think Nick is going to be okay, i really think he's going to end up happy and Rachel structure & support is a big part of that.

My unpopular opinion about this character: the best Rachel fic(s) in existence is connect the dots by larkingstock. i don't care that it's Rachel/Tim fic btw once upon a time i read all the Tim fics that existed on the internet and that's how i discovered this brilliant Rachel-centric fic. never read a fic that shines such a spotlight on her sexuality, her emotions, and her wishes before while givng her a real narrative voice. also, the writing quality and style is romance novel level. 10/10 no notes.

not a fan of the Rachel & Tim bestie agenda. respectfully, they are work colleagues at best but i prefer Rachel filling a former mentor & then a boss role to Tim. he calls her ma'am with a little too much respect for them to be true pals.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: what the fuck happened with her divorce!! hello?? we only had a QUICK PEEK into Rachel's tragic & chaotic family life (dad dead from cancer, troubled sister dead, co-raising her nephew with her mother??!!) and i desperately wish we'd gotten a follow-up on what was going on there. our gal had hidden depths and i wanted to see more. they dropped the ball with the lawmen side of the plots in season 5/6 so we were also denied a deeper look at Rachel being the acting chief RIP :(

Tim

How I feel about this character: i'm not normal about this dude :) he's my blorbo my fan favorite my ascended supported character my baby boy my lil man timmy guts slutterson my gay ranger sniper deputy marshal lawman heart of my heart apple of my eye!! i just think he's neat. everything we see about him in canon spurs a hundred and zillion headcanons in my head, can never stop thinking about him. he's a character i project hard on and i love working out my various personal issues by tormenting him with them. ty for your service 'lil mister.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: everything he's my little black dress of the fandom. givenson, mostly. but also boyd/raylan/tim, boyd/tim, colt/tim, boyd/colt/tim, quarles/tim. i even ship him in things that has no tag yet. where is the wynn duffy/tim fic?! i need dan/raylan/tim in miami fic!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Tim & Mark. i liked the canon portrayal for them and don't find it romantic or sexual at all. i really do think they were just war buddy pals.

My unpopular opinion about this character: he would not have been out as a gay man circa 2010. i sometimes ... feel ... his service history & career as a LEO isn't factored into fic characterizations and how that's gonna fuck up his ability to accept himself as a gay man and how that might even give him a hostile relationship with the LGBT community at large. i will never i cannot personally vibe with smoothing down the sharp points of Tim's characterization and history to make him more palatable to a younger audience. i don't care for queernorm-ing and the soft boy aesthetics.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: that they spent SO MUCH time setting up his powder-keg arc and then did a whole bunch of nothing with it. we should have seen him BLOW sky high (and should have seen him blowing other men who said that).

Raylan

How I feel about this character: i'm normal about him (lying through my teeth). i love raylan, okay?? he makes me bonkers in a variety of different ways. he's my comfort character!! thinking about him comforts me.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: givenson, mainly. i also ship him with boyd in a very very VERY selective way AKA it has to be toxic and weird and dom4dom. also love putting him with both Boyd and Tim at once ala Crowgivenson. i also wrote the only Dan/Raylan fic but also took it down a while back, still ship them hardcore though only way to explain why Dan is so fucking fond of Raylan.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Raylan & Loretta. no she is NOT his daughter and those are not a parent/child dynamic. Raylan sees HIMSELF in Loretta, he is being the protective supportive adult to her that HE needed as a child. helping her heals his inner wounded child. Loretta is a mirror to a younger Raylan with a twist of female trauma. it's a funhouse mirror into his past.

My unpopular opinion about this character: he's a daddy dom sorry to the haters but that's what he is in my heart. me and the other justies into that are gonna keep being happy about it in our corner of the fictional sandbox 🖤

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: don't like the becoming a dad plotline, sorry. his romance with winona was eye-roll more to me and when they had winona get pregnant i put my face in my palms and groaned. wish it hadn't happened and they had given him a juicy career focus instead. the only saving grace to the whole dad thing is how both Justified and JCP stayed true to Raylan's character and portrayed him as being a crappy father.

(give me a character ask meme)

[bobtheacorn]

tagged by @plothooksinc and @sroloc--elbisivni ! Finally have a chance to sit down at my desk - only to procrastinate! lmao TY for the opportunity!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

75! I have probably ten or so more that i never crossposted from ffdotnet, but they're all Old! Given that FF took a huge L and was apparently down for several days, I might find incentive to move them. but! unlikely 🤣

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

815,373!

Nicole Shut the Fuck Up Challenge: FAILED lmao

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively: I'm trying to write various stuff for risetmnt, usagi yojimbo, and digimon adventure/02.

Not actively, published:

Voltron: Legendary Defender (24) One Piece (Anime & Manga) (13) Luca (2021) (5) 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) (3) Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02 (3) Digimon Adventure (2) Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater (2) 鬼滅の刃 | Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba (Anime) (2) 幽☆遊☆白書 | YuYu Hakusho: Ghost Files (Anime & Manga) (2) The Hobbit - All Media Types (2) Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime) (1) Saiyuki (Anime & Manga) (1) Avatar: The Last Airbender (Cartoon 2005) (1) The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien (1) The Adventure Zone (Podcast) (1) The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom (1) Animaniacs (1) Zootopia (2016) (1) Gravity Falls (1)

Basically if I watch or read something and the brainworms get me for even a moment i will write at least one (1) fic for it! Even though I may not finish or even post it! 😆 Occasionally it becomes a whole mental illness (STILL cannot believe i pumped out 24 goddamn fics for voltron. What a time to be alive LMAO)

4. Top five fics by kudos?

the hard beat of her heart - 1,982!

WOW i didn't realize its had almost 2k now thats crazy af. My Bakugo and his Mom fic is THE banger!

so low you can hear - 1,866!

another holy fuck moment, this one is pretty surprising bc its a much older lunami fic but i saw a huge influx after OPLA so 🤣

tired and emotional - 1,466

my drunk teenagers vld fic had big hits, such as Pidge 'scrambling like a racoon' and two idiots (klance) eating eachothers faces under a public table and then fist-fighting their feelings! Not shocked that its up there bc it was super fun to write

i go there with you - 1,351

this started as mindlessly filling Wumptober prompts and escalated almost immediately into Whatever The Hell It Is Now and i love it dearly! hope i can finished it sometime...! 💀

maybe if it left a mark -1,295

ppl ate this one UP when i posted it and i still get pretty regular feedback for it so i'm not especially surprised that it's still hanging onto top 5 after all this time! its one of my favs too!

5. Do you respond to comments?

Not often 😭 Listen it takes all of my energy just to get the darn thing Written. I have a lot going on IRL, and i'm also horrible anxious about being Annoying 🧍‍♀️ so I just yeet things into the void 😅 told to be quiet to many times as I child w adhd and now I'm a traumatized adult who simultaneously doesn't know how to shut up but also catastrophises basic interactions. Rip

Anyway i DO read and cherish every single review/comment and they never fail to perk up my days!! obviously i reread them pretty regularly, and I love and appreciate yall!! 💜 sorry im awkward!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm more of a hurt/COMFORT girlie, so idk if any of my endings are SAD persay? Maybe a lil melancholy. maybe soul deep???

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

THIS is my cup of tea so it's: most of them 🤣 But significantly its my ooey gooey wedding finale for ANAFW

8. Do you get hate on fics?

got hate for a digimon fic i wrote abt Tai and Kari where someone was like 'this has so many red flags' and I was like Bro you don't show your siblings physical affection? Skill issue.

9. Do you write smut?

writing (and reading) smut is pretty new for me bc i'm on the sex-repulsed side of aro/ace but SOMETIMES !!!fictional!!! romance ETC compels me enough that i'm like Hm Lemme try that. I like to expand out of my comfort zones every now and then, so it's usually a turbulent but interesting exercise 🤣

MOST of the "spicy" stuff I write, I would consider pretty tame tbh? (or not very good 💀) I'm sorta vague on purpose, so if you come in expecting some delicious smut or something I am so sorry that that is not the part that interests me 💀💀

Someone who worked on Steven Universe said that Peridot's fixation on romance/shipping was "archeological" because she's aspec af and d'you know what I'm feelin it!

I love a dig site!

Makes no goddamn sense! Compells me tho.

10. Craziest crossover?

don't think i have a single one in my repertoire YET AS I TYPE THAT OUT i realize usagi yojimbo/tmnt is technically a cross-over! Even if it is a sort of canon one? not sure it counts asfkjhlklf I was gonna say that they don't usually interest me. Clown face emoji

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

if i have, no one has pointed it out!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! I get requests pretty often to translate my fics and i'm fine with that as long as they link back to the original! i'm also fine if they don't i guess lmao what am i, the police?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I write The Most self-indulgent crap 24/7 3/65 and i will not hand any of the reigns to someone else rip. Love to brainstorm with others tho That's what makes the brain go brrrrrrrrr

14. All time favourite ship?

ugh its KLANCE, tormented me for like 5+ years and changed my brain chemistry for the better. I'm cringe but im free!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

*stares in 300+ WIPS* maybe that super long bagginshield fic

OH and that anafw timetravel sequel where Lance got pulled into the past/an adjacent timeline and nearly died about it. literally. THAT baby was angsty! rip

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue! And characterization!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Chain of Events....! I don't know her 😭😭😭😭 Someone please introduce us. Also having too many ideas for the way a scene could play out and being paralyzed by Which is the Best One.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Sparingly and with Purpose!

19. First fandom you wrote in?

I know in my heart it was self-insert Dragon Ball Z when I was in like, middle school

20. Favourite fic you've written?

gonna list a top 5 bc I can't pick ONE salfjasdlkf

coyote - idk i fuckin LOVE how this one came together, i go back and read it sometimes and im like damn.

small impressions on his heart - this one makes me SO SOFT @ alberto Get Cherished, Idiot

steam: - THE underrated op fic of mine, its my FAV and no one else agrees! Tragedy!

as tenacious as dandelion weeds - i loved writing feral inosuke and his dumb backwards attitude. idk i love a soft one!

salvagable - truly my comedic prowess peeked with EGG SAUCE AND BREADED nothing else will ever compare

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Imma tag: @big-meows @goodlucktai and anybody else no pressure who also needs ten minutes of procrastination to yell abt their stuff 💜