#god. jesus christ. jon what the fuck. why would they do that you........................

[fiendishartist2]

imagine going somewhere that you know you might not come back from. imagine leaving behind half-formed friendships and the facimile of your old ones, hand in hand with ppl who want you dead, because its the right thing to do. imagine you don't come back, just like you anticipated, except thats not entirely true. you dont survive, but some force stops you from leaving in peace; it leaves your body lifeless because it has no use for you besides the terror your mind can inflict on others, but it just won't let you die. imagine one day, you're free from the mental prison you've been trapped in. you wake up, but you're still not alive. you're cold and empty and no one looks at you the same because they can't stand to look at you. it hurts because you can't do anything but hurt people anymore. imagine you had no choice in this, except you did, didn't you? its all your fault because you were too curious, too naive, too prideful, too stupid. its all your fault, just like you always thought, and now everyone agrees with you. imagine they wish you hadn't woken up, and you can't help but agree with them. and yet, you do everything in your power to save them all, while you still have people left to save. because you're still you, even if your friends see an animated corpse in your place. you hold onto your humanity with white knuckles and gritted teeth because its all you have left of yourself. and you still lose by the end because you were set up to fail since the beginning. because you are jonathan sims, and the world has no sympathy for you

[cult-of-the-eye]

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

[catwyk]

tsv finale spoilers below. i wrote this during my first listen through. its long as fuck. im dead im ruined.

cull calling out to rane instead of faulkner.... rane is truly the real leader now

FAULKNER......

"katabasian rane? sister thurrocks?" im gonna be sick

"hes basically a cow" spit your shit carp

"people in my life keep leavin to serve a cause i just cant understand" BASHES MY HEAD ON THE WALL

"we must love them for fleein from our touch e must not run after them" oh baby :(

this is actually fucking destroying me right now oh poor faulkner. failed by the world.

"of course i recognize you. youre carpenter's ghost" // "yes. i am" // "that must mean that im being punished. arent i?" he sounds so small and young oh my god

"if this is my punishment, then why am i smiling?" OKAY PARALLELS TO HIS VISIONS IN S2. OKAY. IM NOT GOING TO CRY. I WONT.

his monologue is ruining me actually oh god.

"they invented their own faulkner. and they forced me to be him" THATS WHAT IM SAYIN

he called her his sister...

im sure hes gonna die

"you crashed a car??" // "yeeah. i crashed a car." i love her

"they need to fix you, they need to make you better, and ill, ill watch over your bed, ill be there, carpenter. ill pray, ill pray and pray for as long as i need to" christ alive. i need to lay down RIGHT NOW.

méabh de brún too good at acting like shes in pain im abt to dial an ambulance

EM??? EM MENTION. EM MENTION

ok this is fuelling my hc that faulkner reminded carpenter of em in some painful and undefinable way

"i should tell paige that story, if i get to see heg again"

"OUR paige?" CRYING FOR A MILLION YEARS. AND HIS "HUH" AS WELL WHEN CARPENTER CONFIRMS

twin mouths truther forever

"i hate you too, faulkner, i truly do. and i love you, too. in spite of everything" // "always on the very precipice of understanding one another"

faulkner's "DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!" is fucking me up b narr the voice actor everrr

SHES GONNA LEAVE HIM A CAIRN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"there'll be a place for you, and itll be beside me" DRIVING STRAIGHT INTO A LAMPPOST AS WE SPEAK

NO HES GONNA TRY AND KILL HER ISNT HE

"yeah. perhaps thats it. do you?" again. coolest fucking character on the planet

"this is when the waters parted, and at last..! at last he understood!" jesus christ. jon ware the writer that you are

"say you were raised in the service of a god of fire. so you feel like the world would be a much better place if more things were on fire" i busted out laughing WHAT a tone shift

"dennis duplace helped. hayward.. dad.. carpenter.. im leaving all of you behind" i am a husk of a person. lucille valentine knocking it out of the park

"best feeling in the world, seeing you walk away" holy fucking shit this is DAMAGING ME.

i wanna write every quote thats making my heart sting but the transcript is already up so theres no real point

every single va is popping the FUCK OFF by the way. i have to keep reminding myself theyre acting so i dont like. kill myself

val saving hayward was NOT on my bingo card what the fuck

"and before she died... she remembered who she was" OHHHHHHH MYYYYY GODDDDDD

hayward doing his own rites of the cairn maiden for himself :(

no gods coming for hayward but "fuck it. this one's not... for any of you. this ones for me"

WHY IS FAULKNER BACK. NONONO ITS ONLY GONNA BE BAD. PLEASE NO

i never realized the parallel between faulkner's gardener father and his gardener god

carpenter meant so much to him :(

"Sister! I love you! Where are you going? Dont turn your back on me! Dont you dare- Sister! I need you! SISTER! SISTER! MARCO! MARCO!" FAULKNER NO NOT LIKE THIS NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

FUCK YOU JON WARE (<- COMPLIMENT)

THE FAULKNER BODY FAKEOUT. SEE ABOVE POINT

carpenter's scream...... oh god.. oh méabh de brún the woman that you are

"he could be a face from my childhood. or his" charlie.......

HES BEEN BLOND THIS ENTIRE TIME????????????? i should have fucking known

"but no matter how it starts, no matter how it turns out for us, it can end with love, cant it? it can end with love. it can end with kindness." i said oh my god out loud

the delivery of "and then i let him go" why not just drive a railroad spike through my lungs

"the river is vast, and no dam can block every channel, and ours is a world of miracles." i said jesus christ out loud

i wheezed when she just. got back up this old bitch cannot die can she

not nana glass' song............

FUCKING TAINSLEY. CHEKHOVS TAINSLEY.

oh my god. a final heartbreaking credits scene

i had to just sit and lean back for a second. what a fucking ending. what a fucking podcast. this is one of those pieces of media that takes up residence in your brain forever. im never gonna stop thinking about this

[zabala0z]

Ah TMA S4. You will consistently make me want to rip out my hair. Anyways sorry for a very late post! School is hell!

MAG 138: The Architecture of Fear

God fuck Elias. I know I said that a thousand times but I mean it. Robert smirke is surprisingly more sympathetic than I thought he would be? At least more then Jonah Magnus who I still need to figure out the deal of. Also Maxwell Rayner mention, that dick.

I was wondering how these entities came to be. The idea that some civilization brought them here is laughable cause it’s like, man you really screwed over the entire world huh?? Also Smirke mentioned for Jonah to not wear the watchers crown which, that’s what Gerry referred to as the ritual for The Eye. How long has The Eyes ritual been ready? At least Jonah can’t do that anymore, bros dead

MAG 139: Chosen

So this is why The Desolation scares me the most! But also it’s really nice to clarify what is Agnes exactly. Anyways the description of what Eugene did to the workers at the factory made me like sick. Maybe cause my parents are immigrants so I just have a soft spot but Jesus.

How did Gertrude actually derail the ritual??? Like Jon said, she prob didn’t pay Jack. I went back to that statement and while I didn’t find anything hinting at why Jack fell in love with Agnes, I did find a lot of The Desolation vs The Web stuff. When Agnes burned the web in the corner of his room and when Arthur Nolan held a bag of tiny spiders. They really have beef. Damn.

Also yes Eugene, they’re lesbians. God.

MAG 140: The Movement of the Heavens

I love when TMA brings in real people, it’s so funny. Like THE EDMUND HALLEY???? Reminds me in Percy Jackson when the author would make real people different demigods. It’s so fun. I love it.

“That’s my rib” Jesus Christ Jon. Why? Also is the jar of ashes from Gerry?? Y’know when Jon burned his page?? Anyways, time for a fun boat trip.

MAG 141: Doomed Voyage

Mikaela Salesa. I’m very interested in him, he sounds interesting and I WAS RIGHT. Anyways, Jon really brought out his creepy, ominous, alter ego. I love when we see him do something slightly disturbing as the episodes go on. Really puts into perspective about him being an avatar and all that.

Also these god damn tape recorders have a kind of their own at this point. I’m wondering what that camera Salesa got was. Might look back at the transcripts to figure it out

Anyways that’s it! Sorry for my late posts, I guess it’s not really a scheduled thing anymore. I’ll post when I can!

[sshireens]

2, 6, 8, 12 👉👈?

THANK YOU YINNIE 💓💓💓

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

this requires me to narrow down my favs, which is so much more difficult than i ever could have expected. yin if i don’t answer the ask quickly this was why. catelyn tully would never top because ned lays pipe and she’s a freak like that. saw a ss of a reddit post that was like ‘my wife likes to get blitzed and then come home and have me fuck her brains out’ and thats her. brienne is never bottoming and jaime is never topping because jaime has some kind of reversed gender thing going on that makes him want to be a girl but not to another man. and brienne lives to serve. she literally is a sword. and thats a penis metaphor as we all know. margaery is never topping men because despite being the first ally in westeros she thinks thats weird. these are compelling arguments to me! daenerys stormborn is NEVER. NEVER NEVER NEVER. never bottoming because A). thats the prince that was promised B). jon likes to get dicked down C). i personally believe that being sold and traded will lees her to discover (amidst her several trysts with irri jhiqui and doreah (bc u cant tell me otherwise. irri is canon first of all)) that she, as the breaker of chains and mother of dragons and khaleesi of the great grass sea, is not inclined to experience things at the whim of others but rather the opposite. is that appropriate to say.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

oh god. SORRY PLEASE DONT SHOOT ME EVERYONE! daemyra (this might be biased bc i just dont like daemyra) some sansan ppl really get under my skin…. LUCEMOND JESUS CHRIST. almost forgot about them (was almost free). wow sorry lucemond shippers first place for annoying. its not that im an omegaverse toxic incest yaoi anti its just. Its the people it truly is i cannot even enter that circle. there is a blog on here though i can’t remember the url of that makes cute sfw art that doesnt frighten me and ive been known to browse, even hit like once or twice. lucemond still stay away from me please

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

daenerys is not going to be queen of the seven kingdoms NOR SHOULD SHE BE. if daenerys takes the iron throne the whole series is pointless

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

what qualifies as unpopular. also what do we consider like. because i consider like as in ‘this is a fun character to see interact with the world’ and NOT!!!!!!!!! ‘i support this guy’. just to clarify for any other viewers at home. a character ive seen a lot of people Dislike but i think deserves to be heard out is criston because he’s funny and thats it thats why everyone should like him. but i dont consider him unpopular? hmm tough tough …… will i get flayed if i say larys like i mean he’s just sick i love wondering what is going on in that head. in regards to characters i think are not given enough attention: jaehaera targaryen. ‘she’s a little girl shes a non-character’ SHUT UP. she’s a little girl exactly. she didn’t get the chance to be her own person she is alicent’s pain helaena’s pain and her own. GOD MY BABY GIRL….. she names her dragon death…… AUGH DONT EVEN TALK TO ME DOONNTTT EVEN. um also rhaella, daughter of rhaena the lesbian AND! mother of daenerys. bc first of all rhaella and aerea switches thats true. so like. rhaella septa rhaella wondering if that was meant to be her. wondering if maybe it would have never happened if she hadn’t traded places. is it kinder to force her twin into the faith or to let her die? Augh. also daenerys’ mommy just… why dont we know about her i need more people on here like me willing to band together to make up canon. i guess thats not really a reason why people should like them. ALSO SHIREEN BARATHEON I DONT KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL BUT IM THE BIGGEST SHOOTER FOR SHIREEN THATS BABY THATS MOTHER THATS THE PRINCESS THATS MY DAUGHTER THATS ME I LOVE HER SO BAD OH NY GOD SHIREEN PEASE COME HOME THE PEOPLE MISS YOU. and i know everyone dgaf about baby boy bowl cut brown boba eyed broken bran. but i gave birth to him. and thats why you should like him.

i don’t consider myself a targ girlie and then it comes to questions abt asoiaf and i can only answer in reference to them 😔 tried to be diverse 🤞

[go-to-the-mirror]

Every day I think about episode 160 and cry. Like. Like. Jesus christ! The. Everything. Like. Every so often I think of TheOestOfOCs’ tag on their Dracula fusion fic, “this is still a fix it fic compared to canon” AND IT IS??? Fucking. Apparently Elias kidnapping Jon and turning him into a vampire and generally being the most awful person ever is a FIX IT FIC compared to what we’ve got.

And I’m like, I’m not complaining, I signed up for this, but like yeah, signed up for this (emotional ruin), but that doesnt make me HAPPIER ABOUT IT?

Okay, so, it’s three years, about. Starts in 2015, 2016. Ends in 2018. Because. Goddamnit. And it’s just. He gets eaten by fucking worms. You know that line, “one hand on the gas release from the start”? That line lives in my head rent free, because it’s… Elias is holding the cards, he has Jon’s fate in the bloody PALM OF HIS HAND and just… yknow how. Like. Fucked up Jon is in MAG 40? How he keeps asking them to Please Not Talk About The Worms, I Know About The Worms, Stop, I Beg Of Thee. And Elias is there, Elias is talking, Elias is seeing all of this and he’s just like “jolly good, job well done, 11 more to go!”

And just… Sasha. Tim. Melanie, Martin. Basira and Daisy. Everyone who got caught in the crossfire. Sasha, who died, unintentionally on Elias’ part, for a mark that was redundant. Tim, who died saving a world Elias knew was never in danger from the Unknowing. Melanie, who had to gouge her bloody eyes out, because Elias decided she was useful to him.

Useful. Fucking bastard.

And then, and then, season 3, right! God, I’m just thinking about Jude Perry’s mark, because that’s a burn, he probably didn’t go to a hospital, since he was on the run for a murder, so considering Lightless Flame nonsense, that’s probably a severe burn that probably caused nerve damage, caused a difficulty moving that hand, presumably the right hand, because I don’t think they were doing a scouts handshake. And while I do try make all my blorbos left-handed, Jon’s most likely right-handed. And even if he’s not, he still probably can’t move his right-hand right because someone decided to end the world through him, like a fucking bastard! That’s what gets me, right. It’s that everything, everything Jon’s bloody been through for Elias’ plans is immortalized on his skin, with his scars. Psychological trauma just isn’t enough for him, there has to be a constant reminder every time Jon looks at himself.

And then! And then! Speaking of season 3, what the fuck was that second kidnapping? Like, first kidnapping was horrifying but it was “for the plan” and the third kidnapping was in America and somehow “not that bad,” yknow, compared to finding out you’re like, physically dependent on reading horror stories, and your fucking awful bastard of a boss decided to drop that bombshell on you while you were actively, yknow, GETTING SICK FROM IT! Oh Joy. But second kidnapping was a) redundant, he’d already gotten the Stranger mark. b) completely fixable.

Completely fucking fixable. Just. Tell them. Tell them where he is, or tell them that’s he’s been kidnapped, if Elias doesn’t know, I think he did, because I think he’s exactly the kind of bastard who would just let it happen despite knowing exactly how to stop it.

And you know why? Why I think? Because that’s easier, right. It’s harder to be self-destructive, it’s harder to throw yourself into Situations, it’s harder to be isolated when you have one extra month to reconnect with your colleagues.

A month. Maybe the month would have done nothing. Maybe the month would have helped Jon and Tim. Or Jon and Melanie. Or Jon and Basira. Jon and Martin were already fine, and Jon and Daisy at that point is… ah… Nope.

And you think a month is bad? 6 months. And I know, everyone was suffering — Martin especially— while Jon was gone, and I know that it’s other people’s trauma that he’s watching and actively perpetuating, but! That’s also traumatizing!! It’s traumatic to have to watch other people’s worst nightmares for six months straight with no end in sight. It’s traumatic to have to. Everything??? Fucking everything in MAG 120??? I can pull quotes but that’ll detract from the rambliness of this. I’ll do that sometime, I will.

And honestly, season 4 is just a fucking mess, it’s. It’s. I’m sad about it. I’m Very sad about it, and. God. Like. It’s just. Melanie hates him, and part of that is because Elias used him as a meat shield in MAG 101, not all, not most, but part. Jon’s a monster now, and he’s hurting people, and there’s got to be a little voice in his head telling him he’s just like Elias when Elias is the one who made him like this. And they’re tearing each other apart and Jon is diving into Situations and Elias is watching from prison all fucking smug and then MAG 158 happens, god. damn. MAG 158 happens.

“I called you.” Like a fucking dog. Like. Like. “Are you scared, Jon” “Yes” “Good”

I have the words for MAG 159. A bet. A fucking bet. A motherfucking bet. I do not think I need to detail how horrifying and dehumanizing and horrible that is???? I don’t think I need to do that.

A bet. A bet.

And it brings us back to MAG 160. Make him monologue every fucking time this happened, every fucking time Elias used him to end the world, marked him, can’t word. But. Horrifying. Jesus.

2, 3 years. “You are a living chronicle of terror” what kind of fear. Over two years, just. Two fucking years.

But it’s not two. Not three.

It’s his whole bloody life, his whole life, leading up to this. End the world. Spread it. This is it, his purpose, he’s spent so long hurting himself for a purpose.

And at the end, after everything he’s done, after everything that’s been done to him, by Jonah Magnus, by the Web or fears or-

He can’t break free. He follows his purpose. He dances the steps he was assigned.

[sobachyakukla]

how are people "removed from your internet" like why did ian say that between israel & him i would nmver have to worry about michael again because they removed him from my internet. every time i look him up it generates a page not found image & im wondering if henry had anything to do with this because he would do shit like that, instagating my behavior & then calling me dangerous. its like, a very well known tactic & my therapist told me young men do this when they want to feel vindicated as a victim without being willing to share that title so they start pushing you when they know youre mentally ill & then call you dangerous. i shouldnt be worried about what that type of male thinks of me because i honestly feel really scared of what hes capable of pushing me towards & then acting so innocent. especially since he is thin & reserved. that automatically would make any male cop feel like a million bucks for defending him.

i cant believe my life turned into me talking myself down from hanging myself at the park across the street because a toxic mysoginist wont answer my calls.

yes i made a fucking attempt to look you up every new account i made because the alternative is that your friends are literally on my shit controlling the page returns & controlling what i do & do not have access to. that is scary as fuck. not to mention im the second autistic person that toxic ass dude has done this to, making his unchecked ableism just even more dangerous to the next person like me he unwittingly targets.

i hope he never recieves romantic satisfaction or feels loved ever again. may we suffer as one forever get him out of my head & let me feel my coffee high please

not to mention the worst part thus far is i'd put it down 99% on his friends, i mean i would fuck the everliving christ out of jon its NOT OKAY FOR HIS BULLSHIT VICTIMHOOD TO TAKE MY HORNY ASS & BENCH HER????? also israel mullinex? if that boy is controlling me ID LET IT HAPPEN THEYRE HOT AS FUCK??!??!?!?!?!?!?!? stop all this nonsense im hood rich i travel on public transport bc die hard leftist contributing to public transportation also fear of operating a vehicle with my chronic suicidality but im very attracted to these people & michaels feelings getting hurt (pretty sure he doesnt ever suffer) over me railing the fucking dogshit out of his bandmates is his problem not mine. its not okay. im mad about that the most. but i felt like i had to tell jon who i was. but that was kind of sexy tbh being denied even though i know how attracted we are to each other. id sit on him & wail i mean it. like maybe i just want access to his friends so bad bc they all fall under the category of "traumatised, suicidal, & hot musicians" & that happens to be the very one that makes me tweak my nipples & wipe my upper thigh of p*ssy juice. im disgusting im evil im full of lust & it shouldnt be reciprocated or held to a high standard.

i need to pray & cut myself so i can get the demon out but when i cut for the black blood it takes nearly all of my self control to keep from hitting major areas because i have to get the demon out cut it deep enough for the love to lead it out & the lust to make it leave anything to bleed

bleeding heart jesus chapter zoophile crazy girl let the lamb of god take me of my milk

[vroombeams]

i think jon should have some really weird rules about it. he can fuck lando bc he's his trainer, and he's just doing what's right for him, but lando can't touch him back because that would be Wrong. so there's this really weird power dynamic between them and jon is just like, thrust into the position of a dom (which lbh, lando is a subby brat, he'd never dom anyway, but it's about the POWER of the situation). and lando takes jon's word for everything. jon wants a fuck? "oh, lando, you seem really tense, let me help you"

just manipulating the fuck out of the situation to be whatever he needs it to be. and lando is just so constantly vibing in a post-orgasm haze that he couldn't care less about whether or not they're being "professional" or not. of course jon does take care of him, too, but in a really greedy self indulgent way!

(anyway lando gets pole one day and jon fucks him in the garage, makes a point of whispering in lando's ear just how terrible it would be - for *him*, not jon - to get caught. and that somehow turns lando on more. jon has had his hand over lando's mouth the whole time anyway but the sounds he's making are intoxicating and he might have to have a chat with oscar about staging a walk in sometime. weird topic to bring up but the payoff...)

oh jesus christ the tonal whiplash in the best possible way

this is. arguably one of my favourite dynamics for anything ever actually???? "lando can't touch him back because that would be Wrong" is SOOOOO THE VIBEEEE. the flavour of like... here is lando who trusts jon so wholly and jon does care for him so much in every was but also like?? he has wants. needs even! and as long as he continues to do his job why not, you know, indulge a little!!! a little bonus for doing such great work for so long!!

CRIKEY i love!! i LOVE lando just actually taking whatever jon says at face value, just agreeing with whatever he's being told because it's jon and jon would never do anything to hurt him and ouuuaRRRGHHHHH I'M GOING TO BURST THROUGH A WALL LIKE THE KOOL-AID MAN

and then the. staging a walk in w oscar. come on. COME ON HOW ARE YOU HITTING EVERY BUTTON LIKE THIS!!! lando sitting in this middle space of like, half only wanting jon to see him like this because of The Trust, but also half highkey being a bit of an exhibitionist about it?? like something-something jon absently saying something in the throes of dirty talk like how good he looks how good he's being how he wishes everyone could see exactly how good he is and it's like!! it's just dirty talk. mostly. but lando's little brain takes it and runs with it and it becomes this whole thing in his head about how he wants to show off a little for everyone else but also to prove to jon how could he can be after jon has made him this way like. is this anything i'm turning into fucking dust. oh god someone get a dustpan

[valec275]

Whumptober 2023: Day Four

Prompt: I see the danger, it’s written in your eyes

Fandom: The Magnus Archives

Timothy Stoker knew he was an angry man. Trying to pretend otherwise was just a stupid idea, and he didn’t need anyone thinking he was stupid on top of being angry. The only thing he needed right now was to get to that fucking ritual and blow the roof sky high on the Stranger’s plans. If he couldn’t get revenge for his brother, he would at least die trying.

Because Tim knew he was going to die. Of course he was going to. He wasn’t a magical freak like Jon or Elias, and he wasn’t trained in weaponry like Daisy and Basira. He was just an angry man with a burning need to stick it to whatever forsaken, otherworldly, creep was trying to have its followers break reality. So, when they all pulled up to the theatre, Tim was ready. He was ready to throw his life away for this insane plan. For Danny.

“Alright,” Jon said. He looked at all of them, dark brown eyes as tired as ever, but with a determination that sent chills down Tim’s spine. He wasn’t used to this side of Jon - the side that could be calculating and cunning. The side of him that actually acted like it was a follower of Beholding. “Everyone’s ready? We all know the plan?”

“Yeah,” Daisy huffed. That seemingly permanent scowl she always wore only seemed to deepen as she crossed her arms. “Let’s go.”

“Right, right,” Jon said with a nod. He met Tim’s eye.

There was something in that look. In the way it softened for just a moment before hardening again. Jon was hiding something, Tim was sure of it.

That would not slide. Not on a mission like this.

“Something wrong, Boss?” Tim asked, making it clear in his voice that he was on to Jon’s bullshit, whatever it was.

The others looked between him and Jon, looking very confused.

Jon held Tim’s gaze this time, and Tim saw him messing with the hem of his coat - an old nervous habit he thought Jon had dropped some time ago. And then Jon sighed. “I was going to try and say this gently,” he told Tim, “but that’s not going to work, is it?”

“What?” Tim asked. He knew he was tensing, ready to fight Jon if need be. What was Jon going to do? Try and stop him from helping?

Jon looked to Daisy.

The two nodded.

Before Tim could even think of moving, Daisy was on him. She pinned his arms to his sides and refused to let go.

Tim struggled against her hold, writhing in her arms. He couldn’t let her hold him - wouldn’t let her keep him here. Jon had said he could help and he was fucking going to. He was getting revenge damn it!

“I’m sorry, Tim,” Jon told him, voice cold. “I can’t let you come.”

“Why?” Tim spat. Jesus Christ why was Daisy so strong? “Scared of me, Jon? Scared of what I’ll-“

“Yes,” Jon hissed. He marched up to Tim, stopping just short of Tim’s kicking range. “I can see the danger in bringing you. You’re staying here while we work.”

Fucking bastard! “Oh, you can see the danger?” Tim asked, fury burning in his ears and squeezing him from all sides. “Did your god give you some magic fucking vision?”

“No,” Jon told him. “I can see it in your eyes. You will only be a detriment.” He looked past Tim to Daisy. “Daisy, if you please.”

Daisy’s grip loosened for only a heartbeat, and then something bashed Tim in the temple.

The world went white for one horrid moment and Tim went limp. When the world cleared, he was back in the car. The car was locked.

“You bastard!” Tim screamed for only himself to hear. He punched the nearest window, but it wouldn’t break. “Jonathon Sims, you fucking bastard!”

Tim abused the window until his knuckles bled, until his throat was sore from screaming, and cursing Jon’s name, until he was too tired to do anything but curl up and cry, sobbing in the back of the car and cradling his bleeding hand.

His chance had been stolen. His one chance for revenge snagged from him. And soon it would be up in flames.

Tim sobbed for himself, for his brother, for the vengeance the world wouldn’t let him have just because he was angry, until he fell into an uneasy sleep, cursing Jon’s name as he went.

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse Rewatch Thoughts SPN 06x02

Two and a Half Men

“Ooo spicy” “That’s a lot of Sriracha” “the fuck” “It’s never going to work - babies cry” “She’s holding her own mouth? That’s kinda weird” “That kid is fucked” “This season is icy. Ice cold vibe to it” “Why are they moving?” “Oh they moved in” “His badge is crooked” “What’s an Everything pizza?” “Did he actually forget?” “I don’t remember Grampa coming back from the dead” “Gotta teach him trigger discipline there Dean” “Is Sam in the Black Charger? Doesn’t he drive a silver charger at another time?” “It would be funny if Dean could do a Steve Irwin act with the ball cap and gator wrestling” “This one is possessed” In an Australian accent

“Jesus Christ. Hes dead” “She’s also dead” “this looks like bobby’s house” “Like the closet at the end of the hallway looks the same from when they were hiding from the zombies that one time” “I mean they have to reuse sets right? I’ve seen similarities over the seasons. I wonder if they reused the set, because it’s a neat looking house” “Is it Castiel news? Maybe?” “Idk who Gutenberg is” “Who’s the baby?” “Either she’s really sarcastic or he’s a huge dick. I think she’s sarcastic” “It’s the same road as Old Guy gets shot on. This is the road with Yellow Eyes” “Maybe not, but I’m pretty convinced” “Who the fuck is the kid?” “Dean’s talking about diapers” “what the fuck” “I still don’t know what’s up with the baby” “I’m not trying to be oblivious” “Oh he dead” Do you remember what that goo is? “Shapeshifter” “Are you going to be a man about it huh?” “This decor is peak supernatural” “Did he just give the baby some alcohol? Jesus Christ” “So that’s a shapeshifter baby?” “Idk what’s happening” “Thats a lot of poop” “I shouldn’t laugh, but that’s a baby covered in cake and applesauce” “There goes the baby’s ears too, but it’s a shapeshifter baby so idk” “This looks like some sort of vampire hideout or some shit” “If they were actually family, I feel like we’d see more about their backstory, but I’m still confused about their storyline. I guess we’ll find out later” “good line” “This is the longest that some characters were brought on the show to just die - 2 or 3 episodes. Thats a lot” “Bobby Jon Benet Ramsey” “Thats convenient” “That was a lot of grunting” “wait” “You can kill god but you can’t kill a shapeshifter” “Isn’t this soulless Sam? Or they’re starting to hint at this?” “Animated gif wrap” Spouse started laughing during Dean’s serious man talk

“Ok. Long pause. Serious music. She asks what. And it takes so long…so long. Then he turns around and starts singing Fergalicious” “So are they long distance when he’s on another planet or some shit?” “He only had a year off, and he’s doing the midlife crises car dramatics” “Daddy’s going for a drive”

[chernayawidow]

FUCKEN OATH LETS DO THIS!!! OH MY GOD I’M SO KEEN AFTER THAT CLIFF HANGER YOU WENT AND LEFT US ON!! My only comfort is knowing that she can’t die because we know she’s alive in the future 🥺

“You fled with Jon, Frank, and Loco to escape the bowels of Vought Tower.” — ✨ The Bowels of Vought Tower ✨

“Frank kicked through a locked door on the way to the nearest stairwell. You and Jon made it through, but a huge chunk of debris fell, cutting Loco off from the rest of you.” — NOO LOCO!! Goddamn why couldn’t Asshole Jon be the one who got cut off 😩 that would be too easy for you, you prefer watching me suffer 😭

“With your gun trained on the doctor, you grabbed a glass container and smashed it to the ground, making her flinch. Stale-smelling yellow liquid splattered on the floor, and you realized then what kind of “sample” it must’ve been.” — ATTA GIRL POOKIE!! Keeping your mans DNA safe cause your the only one allowed to reproduce with it 😤

“Guess who’s going to help me get them out?” You glanced at Frank, who didn’t look pleased. “Don’t make that face. I’ll be fine.” — I have to keep repeating to myself that I know she’s not going to die, but I’m still so stressed out!! 😩

““The tower’s literally falling apart as we speak!” Jon exclaimed.” — Pookie, for once your useless sperm donor has a point…

“He’d grabbed a discarded gun from the floor when he’d gotten back up to his feet. He now used it to shoot Stan in the leg, to stop him from fleeing. The man cried out and went down hard on the newly installed tile.” — Hell yeah, maybe he can’t kill Stan but shooting him in the leg was a smart as move! Also Stan cried out? I didn’t realise he was capable of that much emotion 😂 maybe he cried out because he was afraid of damaging the newly installed tile 🤷‍♀️

“But just when he was a mere three feet from the door, a massive panel of the ceiling (along with a silver light fixture), crashed down over him. If the concrete hadn’t crushed his bones, the ceiling light would’ve impaled him—right through his chest.” — Jesus Christ that’s brutal (but much deserved)!!

“Oh my God, she’s still in there!” she said. She turned on her comm and called your name. “Where the hell are you?” — As much as Annie annoys me at times, I still love her and her humanity. I would trust her with my life 🫶

“Predictably, Soldier Boy got on the line next. “What? Where the fuck are you?” — Uh oh… 😅 he ain’t gonna be happy to hear her reasoning…

“You watched with wide eyes as Black Noir revoked his arm from your father’s body with a wet, horrific sound. You gasped when Jon fell to his knees.” — HOLY FUCK! I’M SPEECHLESS!!

“Because Soldier Boy now stood between him and his targets.” — That’s fucking right! Cause as long as he’s around, ain’t nobody hurting his pookie!! 😤

“Ben grabbed a knife from the other supe’s belt, and he was able to break skin, stabbing into the center of the man’s chest. He didn’t let go until the clone’s gray eyes were truly lifeless.” — Ding dong the cockroach is finally fucken dead WOOH! 🤙

“But Ben knew that he’d wasted a lot of time. For all his bravado, he had let himself be manipulated and controlled. For fame and money and women, and everything else that came with that.” — It’s good that he’s finally acknowledging that. It makes me wonder what path he would’ve gone down if he wasn’t handed over to the Russian’s, if he would’ve stayed with Vought until present day or not.

“Your hair was loose, and he slid careful fingers through it. He felt a small knot forming behind your head. He touched your pale cheek…” — I’m such a sucker for him when he’s tender with her, especially with the whole aspect of him running his fingers through her hair 🫶

“You weren’t lying entirely on the ground. You’d fallen on a small pile of rubble, and sticking out an inch below your shoulder was a thick piece of rebar.” — She’s alive in the future she’s alive in the future she’s alive in the future…

““I can do this all fucking day,” he said with a smirk.” — Okay Steve ‘if he could swear’ Rogers 💀

“Ben watched the exchange with interest. You seemed to have a good way with kids…” — I can see him with a checklist, and I’m betting he’s mentally noting ‘good with kids’.

““…Soldier Boy,” the kid replied in a small voice. His large brown eyes were filled with tears as he sniffed. His short hair and dark tan skin were covered with dust, so Ben could see the path of his tears down his cheeks and neck. He gave Devon an attempt at a smile and nodded.” — This is so cute 😭 Pookie better be seeing this adorable ass interaction 🥹

“Finally, some of the debris near Yvette cleared a small hole above the ground, revealing Kimiko. Her eyes widened with excitement, her mouth falling open in a quiet gasp.” — YESS KIMIKO!!! HELL YEAH WE’RE SAVED, DEVON IS SAVED!!

““Uh, you can do this,” he said, gruff and a bit awkward.” — I’M WHEEZING!! He’s trying at least and that’s what matters 😂

“When M.M. was eventually able to take the boy’s hand, he met Ben’s gaze, which was mostly covered by stoicism.” — Is this gonna make M.M. give his seal of approval? 👀

(And did you catch the small Captain America reference? 😏) — I KNEW YOU DID THAT INTENTIONALLY!! CAN’T GET ANYTHING PAST ME!!!

HOLY SHIT THIS CHAPTER WAS EVEN MORE EVENTFUL THEN THE LAST!!! And that teaser is already ripping my soul apart so thanks for that 😩 I’m speechless!! I’m so so speechless with how amazing this all was!! Stan Edgar finally met his much deserved end, and the same goes for Jon. Although I do feel for Pookie, especially after the heart to heart he attempted to have with her. And Ben’s interaction with Devon melted my heart (and Pookie better have seen it mwahahahahahh)! Oh my god I’m in agonising anticipation now for the next chapter AHHHHH!!! 😭💖

Break Me Down - Part 16

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

AN: *Deep inhale, deeper exhale* Okay. You ready? 

Word Count: 5,800 Tags/Warnings: Blood and peril, violence, angst, and yet another cliffhanger. (Last one, I promise!) 

Part 16: Soldier Boy

You fled with Jon, Frank, and Loco to escape the bowels of Vought Tower. 

You all were lucky that the Security & Surveillance room hadn’t been caught in the blast, but on the monitors you had seen it carve through the center of the building like a beam of light. 

You could freak out about that later though. Now you were in flight mode, just trying to survive and evade falling debris and unsteady ground. 

Frank kicked through a locked door on the way to the nearest stairwell. You and Jon made it through, but a huge chunk of debris fell, cutting Loco off from the rest of you. 

You gasped and went to the doorway, trying to see if you could help push it out of the way. But more of the ceiling was still falling and threatened to crush you. Frank pulled you back, even though you knew he was worried too.

“Just go!” Loco said. “I’ll find another way out.”

“Head east,” Jon said. “There’s another stairwell by Human Resources.”

“Vought HR. What a fucking joke,” you couldn’t help but quip. But after Loco took off, you grabbed Frank’s arm and headed down the hall. You could see the “EXIT” sign up ahead. It led to a gray door, where several people were fleeing down the stairs. 

Including Dr. Tonya Baker and three of her guards. 

You and Frank stopped her before the door with your guns raised. Frank killed each guard with precision, while you kept your gun aimed on the good doctor. She raised her hand in wide-eyed surrender, but her other hand held a briefcase. You gestured to it with your gun.

“What’s that? Open it up,” you said. When the doctor hesitated, you pointed the gun back in her face. “Now.”

Gritting her teeth, she obliged you by entering the code that would unlock the briefcase. Jon took it from her and showed you its contents.

There were several files and blue vials of what you assumed were Compound V. However, you noticed three small white containers that weren’t like the rest. They were labeled: Soldier Boy. 

“What are these?” you asked. Dr. Baker was tight-lipped, until you pressed the gun between her eyes. 

“DNA samples,” she answered reluctantly. Your face fell, then hardened into a glare. 

“Well, fuck that,” you said.

With your gun trained on the doctor, you grabbed a glass container and smashed it to the ground, making her flinch. Stale-smelling yellow liquid splattered on the floor, and you realized then what kind of “sample” it must’ve been. Jon grimaced; some of it had splashed onto his shoes.

“Thank you,” he groused. 

“Oh, I’m not done,” you said. And you did the same to the last two containers. You took the briefcase from your father and gave it to Frank. “Take this and Madam Fritz here to the S.A.”

“What are you about to do?” Frank asked, though he took the briefcase from you (and laid a firm hand on Dr. Baker’s shoulder). “I don’t like that damn look in your eye.”

You turned to the scientist. “Did you see anyone else still in the building?”

“A few,” she admitted. “Mostly in the lower floors. Admin, Customer Service, R&D.”

Your eyes flew wide in alarm. Yvette, your friend who worked in Customer Service. She could be trapped down there…

Jon turned to you with a frown. “They only way they’re getting out is when the Fire Department comes to collect the bodies.”

You glared back and raised your gun at him next. 

“Guess who’s going to help me get them out?” You glanced at Frank, who didn’t look pleased. “Don’t make that face. I’ll be fine.”

“The tower’s literally falling apart as we speak!” Jon exclaimed. He tried to push your gun away from his face, but you held it aloft. 

“Move your ass or catch a bullet,” you snapped. “We’re going to Customer Service first.”

Ben continued to fight Black Noir.

He still wanted to cave in Stan Edgar’s skull, and it had the added benefit of giving Butcher and his team the cover they needed to try and escape the tower. That wasn’t in his mind though. He was focused on his two targets. 

He’d grabbed a discarded gun from the floor when he’d gotten back up to his feet. He now used it to shoot Stan in the leg, to stop him from fleeing. The man cried out and went down hard on the newly installed tile. 

Ben raised the gun again to shoot him between the eyes, but Noir stopped him. He grabbed Ben’s arm and hurled him over his shoulder. He landed in the broken shambles of Stan’s desk, and the impact further destabilized the top floor of the building. 

Parts of the ceiling had already begun to break off, and Stan noticed. He tried to drag himself towards the door while Soldier Boy was distracted. Blood trailed after his bleeding leg, but he was determined, fighting for his life. 

In fact, he almost made it. 

But just when he was a mere three feet from the door, a massive panel of the ceiling (along with a silver light fixture), crashed down over him. If the concrete hadn’t crushed his bones, the ceiling light would’ve impaled him—right through his chest. 

Ben watched the scene from where he half-lay on the ground in the rubble. His eyes marginally widened, but then his mouth quirked in satisfaction. One down…

His hand closed over a metal rod, yanking it from a piece of rock and wood, and he got to his feet. When Noir flew at him again, Ben lodged the metal rod deep into his exposed ear. If it had worked for Maeve on Homelander, he’d figured it could work on Noir.

And it did. The supe remained mute, expressionless, but the projectile lodged into his ear canal still made him wince. He clawed at it with shaking hands, trying to get it out. Ben didn’t give him a chance—he drop kicked the other supe into the large glass window.

They’d given this clone Homelander’s strength, but forgot to give him flight, it seemed. Because the supe fell and kept falling off the side of the tower. 

Ben stood there in the center of the destroyed room. 

He panted for breath, only then did he notice his own fatigue. His limbs felt heavy, and it nearly buckled his knees. He forced himself to stay upright. Ben would never admit it, but whatever than gun had blasted him with, it did a number on him. 

Ignoring how his hand shook, he raised it to his ear. 

“Stan Edgar’s dead,” he said. “So is Noir, probably. I’m headed down.”

Hughie helped Butcher to the van in the garage, but he stopped short. An ex-military-looking guy was walking toward him with a briefcase in hand, and leading a doctor in a lab coat with the other. 

“It’s you!” M.M. recognized him with a sharpening gaze. “From the airport. You’re one of Soldier Boy’s men.”

Frank gave the doctor over to M.M., informing them that you had asked him to put Dr. Baker into custody. At the mention of your name, Annie’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God, she’s still in there!” she said. She turned on her comm and called your name. “Where the hell are you?”

“Uh…little busy at the moment,” you replied. 

Predictably, Soldier Boy got on the line next. 

“What? Where the fuck are you?”

Annie grimaced at the man’s tone. But she marveled, because she could hear the depths of his worry for you.

“Still in the tower. Some people are trapped on the second floor,” you replied. Soldier Boy’s growl of frustration came through. 

“Where are you exactly?” he demanded.

“Admin department, second floor,” you told Ben. You were prying open the door to the former when the ground beneath your feet trembled. “Oh shit!”

You needed both hands to stabilize yourself against the wall, but it was Jon who helped you stay upright. And he finished what you started, wrenching open the door and letting out a crowd of desperate people clamoring to get out. 

Once most of them passed, you and Jon slipped inside the large Administration office. Inside were various cubicles, conference rooms, and internal offices, one of which was Customer Service. That was your goal as you jogged through the halls. Jon fell into step with you.

“Look,” Jon began. “Everything I did—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” you said sharply. “I don’t have time for a meaningless heart-to-heart with you.”

You called out for Yvette, or anyone still trapped inside one of the offices. You heard a distant voice respond, and you followed it. You were led all the way to the end of the hall, where a chunk of debris had fallen outside of a glass office door. Inside was a group of about ten people.

“Okay, hold on!” you told them. “Stand back from the door.”

You and your father worked to clear the debris. But he looked up at you with something you’d never seen before in his eyes, though you refused to acknowledge it now. 

“When I came back from Vietnam, I saw what this country had become. How these asshole supes had taken over the goddamn world,” Jon said, though it was labored between bouts of lifting. 

He briefly grasped at his chest in pain. And you remembered then that Ben had broken at least his arm and collarbone. He even wore a cast on his forearm, which you finally noticed beneath his jacket sleeve. 

“You were different from your sister. Even at a young age, I saw that spark of fire in you. Hardheaded, even at the best of times,” he said, with a flicker of a smile. “I just wanted to make sure you were strong enough to handle this snake pit of a fucking world.”

He paused to look up at you. “But you were strong in spite of me.”

You had to stop and catch your breath. As his words registered, tears began to burn in your eyes. But you refused to let them fall. Nor did you respond.

Once the doorway was clear, you were able to open the door and let the people out. The last of them was Yvette, and her son Devon.

“Oh my God,” she gasped when she saw you. Tears fell from the corners of her eyes as she pulled you into a hug, and you returned it. 

“Are you okay?” you asked in relief. She tried and failed at a smile. Still weeping, she took her eight-year-old son’s hand and guided him out along with her. 

“Well, now we are. What are you doing here?”

“I’ll explain later. Come on,” you said. You flashed Devon a smile and reached out your hand. “Hey, Devon. Let’s go, buddy.”

He was crying, but he nodded and grabbed your hand too. 

“He had a stomachache,” Yvette whispered to you. “I pulled him out of school early. I shouldn’t have—”

“It’s okay, we’re getting out,” you told her. Jon brought up the rear to make sure you all made it out of the office unit safely. 

You made it down to the gift shop on the first floor, but a small crowd had formed at the back exit to the garage—which by now, was the only safe route out of the tower. The lobby was completely destroyed. 

The problem was, the garage exit was now blocked by debris as well.

“All right,” Jon sighed. “There’s another way, through the custodian entrance—”

Three shots rang out. You ducked and took Yvette with you, but you choked on a gasp when you looked back…

Jon had a gloved fist punched through his chest cavity. 

You watched with wide eyes as Black Noir revoked his arm from your father’s body with a wet, horrific sound. You gasped when Jon fell to his knees.

But to your shock, the supe glanced right past you, Yvette, and Devon. His pale gray eyes focused on only the men in the room. He then strode forward and began picking them off one by one.

You shakily pointed out a large aisle of A-Train merchandise for your friend to hide behind. Yvette pulled her son in that direction, while you went to your father where he laid on the ground. 

With difficulty, you rolled him onto his back. You then laid a hand on his shoulder, while the other hovered over his chest. Blood pooled through the gaping chasm in his Vought-issued black jacket. 

Your lower lip trembled, and you realized then that you were crying as he struggled for breath. Even after everything he’d done to you—to your family—it still hurt you to see him like this…to know that he was dying. 

And there was no time. Not to save him, or for resolution…

“Dad,” you tried, but he stopped you. His brows were furrowed with pain, but he gripped your wrist tight. 

“Run,” he said. He held on for a moment or two longer, but when the light faded from his eyes, you closed yours. 

You struggled against a sob. His grip eased from your wrist, and you laid his hand to rest on the ground. 

Protect yourself, your sister’s voice reminded you. You couldn’t stay out in the open like this. Black Noir had finished with the men, and now was starting in on the rest of the survivors. It seemed that without a handler, the clone had no orders to fulfill except his own. 

With a ragged breath, you retrieved the gun from your belt and had to leave your father behind. 

You joined Yvette and Devon behind the A-Train aisle and warned them with a finger over your lips to stay quiet. You pressed a shaking finger to the comm in your ear. 

“Ben, where are you?” you asked. Maybe he heard the tremor in your voice, because you certainly read the concern in his.

“You’re not on the second floor. Where are you?”

You closed your eyes for a beat. “On the first floor. The garage is blocked and Noir has us bottlenecked.”

“I’m almost there. Just stay put,” Ben said. His tone was firm, and it reassured you. You nodded, despite the fact that he couldn’t see you. 

“Yeah, not going anywhere in a hurry,” you whispered.

You could hear the agonized screams of people dying in the room, but you knew you couldn’t do anything about it. Tears slipped down your cheeks as you looked back at your father’s body on the cold ground. But with a determined breath, you looked at Yvette and Devon, who were clearly terrified. 

You cocked your gun and nodded at them to move forward down the aisle, but to stay low to the ground. The custodian entrance was on the first floor, but it was in the east wing of the tower. You were in the west wing. The only feasible way out was through the blocked garage exit, just up ahead. 

But so was Black Noir. The only thing you could do was stay alive long enough for Ben to find you. Because there was no way you could exit the room the way you came without Noir spotting you. 

Fuck. This wasn’t going to be easy. And all the while, the tower could come crashing down at any moment. The tremors in the walls and in the ground were increasing with every minute as pieces of the floor above continued to fall. 

A nightmare, for which you’d surely need copious amounts of therapy, if you survived this. 

No sooner had that thought filtered through your mind, when a katana flashed above your head, decapitating a cardboard cutout of The Deep. Yvette and Devon yelped in fright, but you grabbed them and shoved them forward into a sprint down the aisle with your head bowed. 

Bullets ripped after you, into the ground and the rows of merch. You turned a corner and stopped behind a large metal shelf lined with Queen Maeve plushies. 

But the three of you screamed when the katana ripped through the shelf, and one of the unfortunate plushies. 

You all stumbled into the open, where Noir soon found you. He raised his katana level with your face, and your eyes grew wide. But before the blade could slice into you, Noir was yanked back and thrown across the room, into the far wall with a heavy impact. He recovered, of course, but he paused.

Because Soldier Boy now stood between him and his targets. 

You looked up at Ben with relieved tears in your eyes—both for him saving your life, and just at the sight of him. He mostly looked all right, if a bit worse for wear. You knew you were much the same, dusty, bruised, and tearful. 

He flashed you a quirk of a smile. 

“Go, get out of here,” he said. 

“We can’t,” you started to say, but an explosion behind you made you flinch. You turned to see that the debris covering the garage exit had been cleared. It its place was M.M., Annie, Kimiko, and Frenchie, the latter waving a spare stick of dynamite. You smirked, even though your eyes glittered with unshed tears. 

“Okay, let’s go!” You reached for Devon and helped Yvette pick him up.

However, the dynamite blast had ruined what small semblance of stability was left in the ground floor. The ceiling began to fall—first near the exit, then right behind you, cutting you off from Ben. You gasped, but you didn’t have time to call out to him. 

And you heard M.M. and Annie calling out to you. All you could do was push Yvette forward, then drag her back when a massive chunk of concrete nearly fell on her and her son. 

But that’s when you lost your footing, and your balance, tipping backwards with a halting shriek.

You were trapped. Ben knew it the moment the wall of debris cut you off from him. He heard your voice, your scream, but he knew he couldn’t help you until he finished off Noir, for the last time. 

“All right, Earving. Let’s make this quick,” Ben said. “I don’t know if there’s any part of you left in there, but this would be a good fucking time to come out with some last words.”

The gray-eyed supe just stared back at him. His katana was drawn, and he slowly slid back into a crouched stance. Ben’s body tensed as well. The effects of Noir’s gun were still making his hands shake, but Ben clenched them into fists. He couldn’t afford weakness right now. 

So when Noir ran forward, Ben waited for the supe to come to him. He dodged the swipe of the blade, and threw out smart punches and combinations that started to push Noir back.

The blade came down again, but Ben blocked it with his shield. It cut through the top of it. But Ben used the momentary pause to kick Noir straight in the chest. He tore the blade from his shield and threw it away. Then he tossed his shield like a fatal frisbee. 

The supe narrowly dodged it, but he couldn’t escape Ben grappling him to the ground. He put all his energy into lighting the nuclear fuse in his chest. 

It was hard to keep it steady after the destabilizing gun, but no matter how Noir thrashed, Ben squeezed around his neck with all his might to keep him pinned. With a ragged yell, a flash of power escaped him. It fried through Noir’s suit, though it only lightly burned his skin. 

When the power ran its course, Noir lost his strength. The clone was now powerless. 

Ben grabbed a knife from the other supe’s belt, and he was able to break skin, stabbing into the center of the man’s chest. He didn’t let go until the clone’s gray eyes were truly lifeless.

Ben drew in ragged breaths. Gathering his strength, he pushed off of Noir and managed, with difficulty, back onto his feet. He felt satisfied, but maybe there was a bitter tinge to it. This thing had been created with Homelander’s DNA, and ultimately, Homelander had been a product of Soldier Boy.

Of Ben himself. 

He knew it wasn’t his fault. That lied dead with Stan. But Ben knew that he’d wasted a lot of time. For all his bravado, he had let himself be manipulated and controlled. For fame and money and women, and everything else that came with that.  

“Soldier Boy! Are you there?” he heard your friend call out. It broke him out of the haze of his exhaustion. He shook his head sharply to focus. 

He called back for you, nearing the wall of debris, but you didn’t answer. He was able to break some of it away, enough that he was finally able to see Yvette’s worried face. 

“Where is she?” he asked. A coil of dread stirred in the pit of his stomach. 

“She’s hurt,” said Yvette. 

The coil tightened, as did Ben’s jaw. 

“All right, stand back,” he ordered. He grabbed his discarded shield and held it aloft. 

“Okay, go ahead!” she said. 

He used his shield like a battering ram to get through the pile of wood and concrete. It loosened even more of the trembling ceiling and plunged the entire clearing with dust. Ben waved a hand through it, coughing as he stepped inside. He found Yvette and her son, but his eyes were drawn to you.

You’d fallen on your back, and a slab of concrete was pinning your leg. He moved it with a grunt, and it fell to the ground with a heavy impact. He examined your leg next; he was no doctor, but he could assume it was probably broken under the weight of concrete. 

Okay. Doctors could fix a fucking leg, he reasoned. He was more concerned about your head. Had you hit it on the way down, or had you smacked it on the hard tile when you landed?

Your hair was loose, and he slid careful fingers through it. He felt a small knot forming behind your head. He touched your pale cheek…

And then he saw it. 

You weren’t lying entirely on the ground. You’d fallen on a small pile of rubble, and sticking out an inch below your shoulder was a thick piece of rebar.

Fuck, he thought. Your pulse at your neck was still beating under the pads of his fingers. 

But then, he paused. He was starting to hear something, a deeper tremor than the occasional rubble falling from the ceiling. 

“Are you guys okay?” M.M. called. With all the debris, he couldn’t quite get to you all. But maybe he could find a hole underneath the rubble to squeeze you out of. 

“The tower’s coming down!” Ben barked. 

“Yeah, that’s why we need to get the fuck out of here,” M.M. replied.

“No, the whole fucking thing. It’s coming down now!” Ben said. Yvette grabbed her son and huddled closer to you and Ben. He quickly stood and surveyed his surroundings in search of a larger shield. 

The only thing in reach was a large metal shelf. It would have to do. 

He grabbed it and ran back to you, just in time for the world to start falling. 

Ben blinked dust and plaster out of his eyes and coughed it out of his mouth. He was holding God knew how much of the tower on his back. The metal groves of the shelf were digging into his spine and between his shoulder blades. 

When his vision cleared, he saw that Yvette was knocked out, bleeding from a cut on her temple. Maybe a stray rock had hit her. 

Her son seemed all right though, if covered in dust. 

“You okay, kid?” Ben asked. He nodded shakily, his eyes wide like he couldn’t believe he was still alive. Ben could understand that.

However, you were the one he was worried about. He called your name, but you didn’t respond. Ben looked up at the kid. 

“Shake her a little, would ya? Not hard.”

The kid nodded, biting his lip. He gently shook your arm, calling your name. Eventually you coughed and opened your eyes on a moan of pain. Ben let out a short, relieved breath.

“Hey…how you doin’?”

“Hurts to breathe,” you admitted, coughing up more dust. But you cried out when trying to get up disturbed your shoulder. “What…?”

“Don’t move,” he warned you. “You’re uh…you’re pinned down.” 

With trembling lips, you turned your head and saw what held you—the rebar protruding just beneath your shoulder. You let out a ragged breath. 

An inch lower and it would’ve been your heart. 

The problem was, you were sure you would bleed out anyway the moment you were freed from the rebar. 

“Don’t look at it,” Ben said firmly. “Look at me.”

You blinked up at him with watery eyes. You finally realized that he was kneeling, holding up a massive shelf to cover all four of you. 

“Oh my God. Are you okay?” you asked. A tear streamed down the side of your face. 

Ben nodded. Really, it was taking all the strength he had left to hold up this piece of shit, but he wasn’t about to let you know that. 

“I can do this all fucking day,” he said with a smirk. “But maybe check in with your friends so we can get the hell out of here.”

Letting out another shaky breath, you raised the hand opposite to your pinned shoulder and pressed a finger to the comm in your ear. 

“Are you guys still there? Did anyone make it out?” you asked.

For a moment, it was silent. You looked over at Devon, who was quietly crying. You reached out your free hand to him, even if it made more blood weep from your shoulder. He grabbed your hand, and you gave his a comforting squeeze. 

“It’s okay, Dev. We’re getting out soon,” you tried to sooth him. Devon nodded and squeezed your hand back. 

Ben watched the exchange with interest. You seemed to have a good way with kids…

“Hello?” you repeated into the comm. Your voice was weak and raspy, even to your own ears. You released your shaking hand back to the ground. “No one’s answering…where’s Yvette?”

“Knocked out for a bit, but she looks fine,” said Ben, nodding to where your friend was lying on the ground. 

Though he realized he was starting to lose you when your eyes closed. 

“Hey,” he barked. “Stay with me.”

The near shout forced you to open your eyes, but they were already starting to droop. Ben finally noticed the blood slipping away from you, starting to pool beneath your arm. 

“I’m awake, just resting my eyes,” you said. Not very convincing. 

Ben experimentally lowered an arm from supporting the shelf. He moved slow, and he heard shifting rubble above him, but he managed to balance the shelf on just his back. He grit his teeth at the strain.

Even for him, the weight was immense. He didn’t know how long they could wait for someone to get to them. But he could see the kid was frozen with fear.

“You’re gonna be fine, all right?” Ben said.

The kid was tearful, but he nodded.

“What’s your name?” Ben asked.

“Devon.”

“All right, Devon. You know who I am?”

“…Soldier Boy,” the kid replied in a small voice. His large brown eyes were filled with tears as he sniffed. His short hair and dark tan skin were covered with dust, so Ben could see the path of his tears down his cheeks and neck. He gave Devon an attempt at a smile and nodded. 

“That’s right.”

Finally, some of the debris near Yvette cleared a small hole above the ground, revealing Kimiko. Her eyes widened with excitement, her mouth falling open in a quiet gasp. She smiled and ducked her head back out. Ben frowned in confusion as he heard the French guy and some of the others babbling. 

“Hello?” he snapped. “The fuck is going on out there?” 

M.M. peered in next and took in the four of you with relief. He met Ben’s gaze.

“They’ll need a stretcher,” Ben said, gesturing at you and Yvette. “And a medic.”

“Okay, we’re gonna see if we can open this hole a bit wider,” M.M. said. He frowned at the narrow space inside. “It’s gonna be hard to get a stretcher in here.”

“Just get it done,” Ben said, beginning to lose his patience. He was carrying the tower on his back, and you were fading before his eyes. 

M.M. nodded and was gone. But he returned soon after with Kimiko, and both worked together to open the hold wider without dislodging more debris. Once they had a big enough hole, M.M. peered in.

“Okay, who’s first?”

“She is,” Ben said, nodding down at you. “Bring the stretcher.”

Once again, M.M. disappeared.

Ben looked over at Devon. 

“She’s hurt bad. We’re going to get her out first,” Ben said, gesturing at you. “I’m going to need you to hold her down, by her shoulders. After I take out the rebar, you’re going to put pressure on the wound. Got it?”

Devon looked unsure. 

“Got it?” Ben repeated. More tears slid down the boy’s cheeks as he shook his head.

“Listen, you little sh—” Ben started to snap in irritation.

But at the last moment, he stopped himself. He remembered how you were with the kid earlier, tried to think of what you might say right about now. 

“Uh, you can do this,” he said, gruff and a bit awkward. 

“I don’t want to hurt her,” Devon said in a small voice. 

At that, annoyance slowly drained out of Ben. He reached out and grasped the kid’s shoulder, firm, but gentle.

“You won’t. You’re going to help her,” he said. “Just hold her down, and I’ll do the rest. All right?”

He hesitated, but Devon nodded and wiped his face dry. 

“Good man,” Ben nodded. “Now come on, over here.”

Devon moved so that he was behind you, holding your shoulders down.

You grimaced and made a sound of pain. But Ben was quick; he braced your shoulder with one hand and slid the rebar out with the other. He forced himself to remain stoic at your resulting screech of agony. 

But Devon couldn’t. His tears came down anew, and he immediately released your shoulders. Ben moved you more fully onto the ground and instructed Devon to put pressure on the wound, leaning his body weight into it. 

“Stay awake,” Ben warned you. He knew you were having a hard time, and tears streamed from the corners of your eyes, onto the ground below. You forced your eyes to open, so you could look up at him.

“Ben,” you tried, but if this was going to be an if I die speech, then he didn’t want to fucking hear it.

“Don’t talk,” he said sternly. “Just keep breathing.”

“Listen,” you insisted. With difficulty, you grabbed onto the metal embellishments on his suit, finding purchase on his chest. 

“You are strong. You can do anything you want, you know,” you said, smiling wryly. “Including, being a better man.” 

Ben looked down at you with knitted brows. Sweat slipped down his forehead, but he didn’t know what to say to you. 

Until you let go of his suit, and your eyes started to close. 

“Fuck. Stay awake, damn it!” he snapped. It was an effort, but you opened your eyes. 

Then Yvette started to rouse, raising a hand to her aching head. 

“Oh, thanks for joining us,” Ben remarked, unable to disguise most of his snark. Devon helped her sit properly. 

When she saw you, paler than ever, she gasped and took over putting pressure on your wound. 

M.M. then finally returned with the stretcher. He beckoned Devon out first.

“Come on, little man.”

Ben opened his mouth to snap a protest, but M.M. shook his head. 

“It’s too narrow. They need to come out first to make room.”

Devon eyed the jagged concrete around the hole they’d created. He seemed scared to attempt taking M.M.’s hand to leave. 

He looked back at Yvette, who encouraged him forward. But he also looked over at Ben. 

He was frankly surprised the kid was looking to him for reassurance. Again, he thought of what you’d said to Devon earlier. 

“It’s okay,” Ben said. “You’re going home today. Trust me, son.” 

Devon stared at his face for a moment, and nodded tearfully. 

When M.M. was eventually able to take the boy’s hand, he met Ben’s gaze, which was mostly covered by stoicism. 

Devon made it out of the cave, followed by Yvette. While she climbed out, Ben took over putting pressure on your wound, even though it made the shelf creak. He grunted against the pressure on his back. 

Then M.M. finally slipped in the stretcher. Ben roused you by tapping on your cheek. He accidently left a smudge of your own blood there.

“Come on, baby doll. Work with me here,” he muttered. You whimpered in response.  

You were so pale, but you were fighting to keep your eyes open. You’re a fighter, Ben reminded himself, as he helped M.M. maneuver you onto the stretcher.

“See you later, sweetheart,” he said.

“Wait,” you croaked. “Wait…how’re you getting out?” 

Ben quirked a smile. 

“I’m right behind you.” But he then glared up at M.M. “Hurry the fuck up. She’s still bleeding out.”

M.M. shot him a dark look, but he ignored Ben in order to help you. After you were taken out on the stretcher, Annie called out to him. 

“The fire department’s about to come in with pressure bags, so you can drop the shelf,” she said.  

True to her word, Ben started to hear a sharp whirring—the sound of something inflating. 

But as soon as they started, the ground shook. 

And the walls once again began to collapse around him. 

AN: *cowers in the corner* Please don't hate me! I promise, you're going to like the ultimate outcome of the next chapter (despite the teaser lol).

But I would still love to hear your thoughts on this one! What did you think of Jon's ultimate fate? How did you like Ben literally holding up the Tower?

(And did you catch the small Captain America reference? 😏)

**Side note: I hope you all enjoyed "Love Actually"! It's a far cry from where we are right now in BMD world lol...

Next Time:

Part of him refused to believe it had gotten to this. 

And the reality, that this was his fault. He’d caused the blast that destroyed the tower. His fault he hadn’t gotten to you sooner.

“You are the reason I needed saving,” you’d told him once. 

You were right then, and it still held up now. 

So, no…he wouldn’t go in there, into your room. The truth was, he couldn’t. 

Series Masterlist

Soldier Boy Masterlist

Main Masterlist

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[cult-of-the-eye]

MAG 83 woop woop!!

JONNY BOY

ooh first proper statement in a while

Wait he took some statements with him??

Georgie is actually so right. I love her so much. He really needed some good fucking advice in his life from someone he hasn't thought might've killed someone before

I COULD BE ON DRUGS HAHAAAAAA NO YOU SMALL LOSER BOY

Why did he even jump to that conclusion?? I wasn't thinking ah yes drugs and I don't think a normal person reacting to this situation would immediately jump to drugs maybe insanity yes but not drugs

Universal autistic experience, having someone you're close to say that they know you "get obsessive about stuff"

YES GEORGIE!!!!! SHES THE ONLY ONE NOT FUCKING ENABLING HIM!!! HE DOESNT NEED THE STATEMENTS

oh shit is this the start of him depending on the statements??

Oh shit I guess not being able to go back to his flat makes him homeless

Oh right someone dropped the statement through the letter box

SHIT SOMEONE DROPPED IT THROUGH THE LETTER BOX

SOMEONE KNOWS WHERE HE IS

AND IS GIVING HIM STATEMENTS???

Fucking Elias I bet, who else would it be??? he was like yah I know where Jon is but I'm not gonna tell you to daisy and he's creepy enough to fucking send statements through the mail so there

Ok I'm sorry what was my man doing in those four days??? Sitting there rocking and muttering to himself staring at a fucking piece of paper?? Hmm?? Not fucking sleeping???

Investigating MY ASS what INVESTIGATION do you plan to do holed up in your ex gfs house???

Ah fuck he needs it

When does it stop becoming paranoia and start becoming an addiction?

YEAH GEORGIE YOU SHOULDNT BE KEEN ON WEIRD STALKERS KNOWING YOUR ADDRESS YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT AND THE ONLY SANE PERSON IN THIS WHOLE PODCAST (apart from Joshua Gillespie and Karolina gorka my loves)

AHHH HE DIDNT EVEN GET THROUGH HEAD HES JUST GOOD OLD JONATHAN SIMS NOW

He doesn't have any of that pomp and fancy pants titles anymore, it's just the fucking paranoia and realisation that it's not just a normal job, he can't ignore it anymore

It's funny how it finally sinks in how it's not just a normal job when he gets fired from it

Ok just did a quick google fanton isn't a real department store that's a good start

Haha yeah customer service people deserve medals

Omg of course the tma transcripts write Halloween as Hallowe'en that's so tma of them

Oh fuck stranger alert

Oh shit is that Nikola??? As in everyone on Tumblr talks about her Nikola???

Her condition?? Why does it sound like they're describing her as a fucking werewolf??

Ok this is fucking creepy I actually fucking despise mannequins I don't think I'm gonna enjoy these stranger statements

FUCK I HATE CLOWNS

AHHHHHHHHH

Ooh she's smart she goes in with 999 dialled love that for her

oh FUCK that shhh was terrifying

Oh god Lana was killed???

Blood in a single neat line across her lips???

Uckinf SHITBALLS

Jesus fucking christ

I BET HIS ASS MISSES THOSE "EXPERT" ASSISTANTS

FUCKING BREEKON AND HOPE???

Circuses, skin, not quite real - the STRANGER

It seems like now he sort of knows what's going on, he's catching on really quickly, he's categorising things and using what he knows which is good it's steps in a positive direction

I guess he doesn't want another axe table fiasco

The taxidermy shop oh yeah the guy who was like yeah this is paranormal and creepy as fuck but he's not committing tax fraud so it's fine loved that guy

Elias probably sent it

Oh shit he doesn't know Elias knows where he is

SHIT IT WAS HAND DELIVERED

God poor Georgie, she's housing his pitiful ex boyfriend who lost his weirdo job and is going insane and bringing the weirdness to her life

What was he looking into??? Like Not-Them stuff??

"I've got work to do." Fucking famous last words

Jonathon "workaholic" Sims strikes again

Although I guess it's not workaholic when it's threatening your whole life

I guess it's just...surviving

[forevermore-quoth-the-kitten]

BATFAM AS QUOTES BUT THIS TIME IS SAO ABRIDGED LETS GO!

Frist | Next

Damian: just stay calm, you already have everything you need to beat it.

Jon, temporarily powerless and panicking: the power to believe in myself?!

Damian: Noo, my sword. Stab it!!

-

Jason: there, was that so hard? fucking drama queen.

Tim: YOU PUT A KNIFE IN MY FACE! I’D SAY THIS IS AN ADEQUATE AMOUNT OF DRAMA!!

-

Jason: Dickie, Dickie, Dickie. Look, ok? I get it. you had a really bad day! You’re stressed out, 7 people died-

Dick: 12 PEOPLE!

Jason: Not the point. Look, they’re dead now, and really, whose fault is that?

Dick: YOURS!!

Jason: That’s right, no ones’.

-

Tim: Oh spare me, ‘wonder woman’, you’re only doing this to prove I was wrong.

Steph: Hey, at least I pretend to be nice to people!

Tim: yeah whatever- wait ‘pretend’?

-

Dick, about to duke it out with Bruce in the cave: here Duke, you take it.

Duke, when he finally starts to show Batfam Dark Humor: ah, handing the black man the murder weapon, tale as old as time.

-

Jason: Uugghh!!! fine, B, I’ll humor you. Damian, why would your evil clone have wanted to make sweet love your friends’ chest with the business end of a broadsword?

Everyone: *shocked pikachu face*

Steph: Jesus Christ Jason.

-

Steph with Black Mask’s knife to her throat: Enjoy this while you can, it’s the deepest you’ll ever be in a woman.

-

Bruce, every time he meets a sad dark haired orphan that probably has blue eyes: I WOULD LIKE TO BUY ONE CHILD PLEASE!

-

Tim, trying to get Bart to calm down after a late night horror movie: I think we can safely assume, that a ghost was not the culprit here. Right Nightwing?

Dick, a chaotic little shit who loves drama: Of course not! obviously it was a hit by the mermaid mafia paid in leprechaun gold. But who was the puppet master? The Unicorns? No, they’ve had a fued going on with the Mermaids for years.

Tim, now barely staying upright with a trembling Bart holding onto him: DAMMIT NIGHTWING THIS IS SERIOUS!!

-

Jason, running towards an Untitled: alright ugly, let me teach you why they call me the legendary- *gets hit out of the way immediately* -fUCK!

-

Dick: Because I’ve got a date with destiny!

Steph: yeah, i don’t need to know the name of your preferred cam-girl bro.

-

*while calling Bruce to get him out of a meeting, all background voices with the sound effects by Jason and Damian after Dick dropped the phone*

Tim: oh god!

Steph: it’s spreading!

Duke: grab the women and children!

Dick: yeah, we’ll use them as shields!

*explosion*

-

Damian: Thomas.

Duke: yeah? 

Damian: If if doesn’t cause you much trouble, tell Drake I did not actually call it ‘the piece of shit’.

Duke: . . . kayy, i’m gonna need a little more info to go on there-

Damian: and Todd-

Duke: oh ok, i guess we’re just done here.

-

Dick, narrating to Jason what Bruce was like when he died like the over-dramatic circus brat he is: And so they say, Batman’s heart grew three sizes that day. And then immediately shrank 6, imploding into a black hole from which no love could escape.

-

Cass, protecting a hurt Damian who missed her ballet recital because they kidnapped him and is very pissed: you see, there’s no need to wonder where your god is. Because she’s right here, and she’s fresh out of mercy.

Damian: *thoroughly impressed*

Criminals: *pissing their pants at the fact the tiny twice as scary batman with a stitched face creepier than Scarecrow can talk*

-

Dick: hey I hear those air quotes, you son of a bitch.

[221bshrlocked]

i. Initiation

Stirring Sensations Masterlist

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2325

Warning: lots of really inapropro thots all because of that.fucking.chain.

A/N: I’ve had a really bad week and it only got worse last night and I almost had to go to the ER but crisis averted everyone and I’m about to fuck up this presentation but I needed to write this because wow we’re all so horny for this man and that chain he wore during the D23 Expo 2019. Also, this tiktok didn’t help. There might be a second, more NSFW part. Depends on if yall like this :)

You couldn't stop staring at it. Lord knows you tried your hardest to be aware of the conversation going on but it was impossible.  It wasn't even anything special, just a shiny little chain, and yet you were absolutely hypnotized by the way it hung around his neck. Why you found it absolutely mesmerizing with that shirt you would never know but there was something about the way he carried himself around, especially today, that had you wishing you were bold enough to say something. But no, he was a friend. And he was kind enough to invite you to an after-party with his colleagues whom you still tried your hardest to act naturally around. 

But fucking hell this was hard. It kept on swinging around with every little movement he took, whether he was motioning dramatically with his hand as he explained something about one of the scenes or was simply leaning over and laughing over something Jon said. It was just...there. Taunting you. Begging for your attention. Any kind of attention. 

You kept on staring at it as you drank your wine, occasionally nodding along to pretend you weren’t imagining biting down on the chain and tasting his sweat on it as he fucked you into the mattress. It was getting difficult with every passing moment though, especially when he had to nudge you a few times to ask your opinion on something and furrowed his eyebrows when you apologized and told him to repeat his question. 

You thought you were being subtle enough but then Pedro leaned over and whispered something in your ear and you all but lost control, the sharp intake of breath making him lean away and ask if he’d done something wrong.

“N-no sorry I- god, I think I drank too much. I just need...some fresh air. Be back in a minute.” Pedro stared at you as he nodded, and you watched as his hand slipped under his shirt to scratch at his clavicle, the action forcing your eyes to the chain yet again. Before you could stop yourself, your tongue was peaking out and licking your lower lip, wishing it could lick across the shiny necklace if only for a second. Once you realized what you’d just done, you raised your eyes and met his, finding the usually umber brown eyes dilated and unforgiving in their gaze.

And then he mirrored your actions and licked his lips and you knew you needed to get away from him before you made a fool out of yourself. 

“Excuse me,” you smiled at everyone and walked to the balcony of the restaurant, finding a quiet and private spot in the corner overlooking the awfully busy street. Taking a deep breath, you shut your eyes and leaned against the wall, finally allowing your mind to give into the pathetically filthy thoughts involving Pedro’s fucking chain of all things. You thought of what it would feel like to pull on it as he kissed the air out of your lungs. Wished you could twirl it around your fingers as he licked and nipped down your neck before slipping his hands beneath your pants. Fuck, what you would give to just bite down on it, maybe lick it and his skin as he used you to get his cock off. Would he let you suck on his neck, that glorious fucking neck that was somehow always glistening and smooth and so fucking inciting? Would he moan when you tell him how sexy you found it, especially with that floral shirt? Goddamn that shirt. It was so loud and yet he pulled it off. And with those light brown pants that were positively tight and almost left nothing to the imagination...

But none of that compared to how captivating he looked with that chain. It was very rare for Pedro to look unattractive in whatever clothes his stylist picked out for him. Actually, that wasn’t true. Pedro never looked bad in anything, even if it was a worn down sweatshirt or jeans. He just always looked nice and you weren’t sure if it was because you’ve had these feelings for him for so long or if it was because he was an honest-to-god sex symbol. 

You rubbed at the base of your throat, thinking of worshiping him and kissing down his neck before he forced you down on your knees and fucked your face. And to hear that voice, that beautiful, deep, hoarse voice as he moaned and swore and growled at you as you pleasured him. What a sight he would be. 

When you took longer than he anticipated, Pedro excused himself and walked past the balcony doors, surveying the large open area and almost walking back in when he didn’t find you anywhere. But then he noticed you in the corner near the edge of the railing, tilting his head to the side when he saw how hard you were breathing. He approached you carefully, his eyes taking in the way you were rubbing at your neck and harshly you were biting down on your lower lip. 

So busy imagining the touch of his hand on your heated skin, you didn’t notice Pedro’s presence until he broke you from your haze with a concerned question.

“Are you okay?”

You jumped and grabbed at your chests when you heard Pedro, rolling your eyes when he started laughing and apologized before rubbing your arms to calm you down. 

“Jesus Christ you scared the fuck out of me. God, how many times did I tell you not to do that?” You gulped before turning to the railing, trying to calm your heart rate so he didn’t suspect anything.

“Not my fault you’re so jumpy.” You shook your head at his teasing comment, taking in a deep breath to try and forget what you were just thinking about before he interrupted you. “You were gone for a while...is everything okay? Did something happen and you don’t want to tell me?”

“W-what? No no nothing...nothing happened I promise. I just needed some air. It was getting a little intense back there. Sorry I’m just not used to being around so many, you know-” You trailed off and hoped Pedro wasn’t offended by your words because the last thing you wanted him to think was that he was bringing you to anxiety-inducing gatherings. 

Your smile faltered when you finally glanced at him, finding it near impossible to not shift your attention to the unbuttoned collar and the godforsaken inanimate object hanging around his neck. Pedro was taking in your changing expressions, trying his hardest to figure out what was going through your mind and hoping it mirrored what was going through his.

But he didn’t have to wonder for too long because all of a sudden, you were reaching up and pushing his shirt apart, and he felt his heart skip a beat when your fingers lightly trailed across the chain he was wearing. He didn’t dare to say anything, afraid you’d break out of whatever trance you were in. He hoped to whatever higher power existing out there that he wasn’t misreading the situation because he wasn’t sure how much more he needed to control himself. You continued to stare at him as you traced the outline of the cold metal, slipping your hand beneath it to touch his skin. Pedro shivered when one of your nails scratched at the hollow juncture just below his Adam’s apple and he all but lost it when feather-light touches skimmed over the cartilage moving down his throat. Your fingers descended down his throat again, and he ceased to breathe when you twirled his chain around your index finger before tilting your head to the side in interest. When you licked your lower lip and began to lean forward, Pedro couldn’t hold back anymore. 

“Fuck…” The growled expletive snapped you out of your haze and you snatched your hands away, about to start apologizing to him and begging him to pretend that you weren’t just pretty much assaulting the man in public.

Pedro regretted the way he responded to you when he saw sheer panic and fear etched on your beautiful features. He didn’t think of what he was doing as he pushed you further into the wall and cornered you between his arms. Pedro wanted to make sure you weren’t about to run away from him because now that he had you here, with a pretty good idea of what you were thinking of, he wasn’t about to let you go. 

You watched as his jaw muscles clenched tightly, unable to look away from his dark eyes as he stared down at you.

“I thought I was imagining things...the entire day. You’ve been...you kept on looking at me like...like you were- like I was-” Pedro gulped to try and contain his thoughts, not wanting to scare you by what he’s been thinking of when he caught you looking at him like you wanted to devour him. “Every time I looked at you, you would either look away or pretend you were talking to someone else. But fuck baby I didn’t think- didn’t think you’d ever...fuck. I can’t stop thinking about you sweetheart, and if I’d known that it would take me wearing this fucking chain...goddamn, I would have worn it a long time ago if it meant you’d look at me like you were imagining...that I- that we- Please...I- I...shit, are we on the same page here baby or am I completely misreading this entire situation?” Pedro stuttered through his admission and you weren’t sure if you found it cute or sexy that he was trying to hold back from telling you what he’s been thinking about. 

“Pedro-”

He wasn’t sure who leaned in first, and he couldn’t care less if he was being honest, because you were in his arms, devouring his lips and fisting your hands in his shirt as he snuck his tongue into your mouth and kissed you with every ounce of his being. You sighed into him as you felt his hand slip into your hair at the nape of your neck and pull on it. You were thankful that he had his other arm wrapped around you because you felt faint with every little moan he whispered into your mouth. Nothing could have prepared you for the intensity of his kiss. You would never tell him but watching his on-screen kisses did something to you and you always thought he would be generous with whoever he was with but this, this was something else. It was a cliché but this must have been what it felt like to watch a shooting star fly through the sky. It had to be. It was magical, intimate, and absolutely breathtaking. 

When Pedro pulled away and looked down at you, he couldn’t help but push himself flush against your heaving chest, once again swearing when he felt your shivering hands slip beneath his shirt and pull on the chain. He followed your lead and molded his lips with yours, this time more carefully and with less desperation. You smiled against him, and let out a deep breath when you felt him smile into the kiss. Pulling away from him, you rested your head on his chest and let go of his shirt, trailing your hands across his back to try and somehow pull him closer to you.

“I- I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.” His voice was soft, exuding calmness and joy. But you could hear his heartbeat and you knew he was just as nervous as you.

“Me too.” 

Pedro grabbed your shoulders and pushed you away so he could take a look at you.

“This isn’t a- I’m not...I’m all in baby. I’m all in, if- if you want to give us a shot. Please.” Silence enveloped the air around you and you looked into Pedro’s eyes, finding nothing but love and hope and happiness in them. You’d always wanted to make him happy, he deserved the world. And now that you knew you could, it was indescribable. 

“I’m yours Pedro.” 

You smiled when you noticed the familiar dimples take over his expression, sighing in relief when he pulled you against him once more and tightened his hold on you.

“Let’s get out of here.” He grabbed your hand and moved towards the restaurant. 

“What? No wait Pedro this is your day. I’m not- we could figure this out after tonight. I’m not about to ruin your night. It can wait.” Your eyes widened in surprise when he stepped towards you and grabbed your cheeks so you could look at him.

“Baby...I waited to hear you say those words for too damn long. I need to have you all to myself tonight. Please. I’m- I’m begging here. They won’t mind I promise. I just- I want you in my arms. I want to touch you and kiss every inch of you and hold you until you get tired of me. I want to whisper sweet things in your ears and show you how much I lo- how much I care about you. I want you. And I can’t wait anymore. Please hermosa.” Pedro noticed the small gasp emanating from your lips at the last nickname, and he raised an eyebrow when you turned away from him to look at something else.

“Oh, good to know.” He laughed when you narrowed your eyes at him in annoyance.

“Come home with me hermosa. Please.” He knew he had your undivided attention when you looked up at him, barely holding back from smiling because you could never refuse anything when he used that tone with you. 

“Ok.”

Pedro leaned in one last time and kissed your forehead before taking your hand and walking back inside. Well this was going to be interesting. 

[nagdabbit]

i have other fics i should be working on but my hand slipped

.

Yuta was grinning at him. Not just grinning, he was giddy. He was bouncing a little in place with the kind of joy that meant Bryan's day was about to get a whole lot worse.

"No."

"Oh yeah."

"No, send him directly to—"

"Claudio is already on the way." Yuta had a white knuckled grip on the clipboard, as he gleefully vibrated in place. "First guess?"

Threatening to fire him didn't phase him anymore, so Bryan had learned simply to not engage. "I'm not doing this with you."

"But it's—"

"No, no. You gotta."

"It's the third time this month."

"I know, and it's incredible."

"No."

"It's a wild animal that doesn't belong in my clinic," he snapped, and Yuta's grin didn't even dim. "Tell me."

"Absolutely not. You guess, or you see for yourself."

Little brat. The kid lived for Mox's visits, moreso once he saw Bryan actually get a little frazzled. He shouldered past as Yuta giggled, and pushed out into the waiting room where—jesus fucking christ.

The first thing he noticed was Mox's shins. He'd known the man was built, and that he liked to work out, but seeing him without his jeans and boots was a surprise. But then it was the scratches all up and down his legs, peeking out from beneath his cutoff sweats.

And then it was his arms, bare and defined and full of goddamn kittens. And actual kittens, at that. He had his arms full of five little, mewling, tortie puffballs. There was even another lump in his hoodie pocket, a little tail poking out of one side.

And if everything had stopped there, Bryan might've continued to have a nice, calm day. It was the seventh cat, decidedly not a fucking cat, perched on Mox's shoulder that was the problem. Bryan knew what a mountain lion cub looked like, even if Mox didn't. And even that, he could've lived with.

"Why is there a fucking deer in my clinic."

"Okay, I didn't bring that one!" Mox insisted, then winced. He sighed and backtracked a little as the fawn poked its nose against Mox's knee. "Okay, so, I was out for a run, right?"

"Just—please, stop there."

"And the mountain lion?"

"But I need you to know that I didn't bring the deer," he insisted, despite the thing looking up at him with its big, Bambi eyes as it gave a plaintive bleat. "I found the kittens in a box, and was bringing them over, and then this thing started screaming and running after me."

"And not because you thought it was a weird dog, this time?" Bryan asked, dryly, as he watched one of the kittens shakily climbing Mox's chest.

"No! I remembered you yelling," he grumbled. "It followed me, I swear it. I just wanted to bring you the actual, real kittens this time."

Mox blinked at him. "The what?"

The cub in question dug its claws into the fabric of Mox's hoodie and chirped into his ear.

"That's a mountain lion cub," Bryan said, closing his eyes. He'd thought things would be normal. He'd thought everything would be fine, and he wouldn't have to deal with anything but cats and dogs and the occasional bunny. But, no, he had his very own snow white. "Jon, how?"

"It was in the box! The fuck was I s'posed to know?"

"It doesn't look like a cat, for one!"

Mox turned his head as much as he could to get a look at the thing. It gave him another little chirp of a scream in return. He looked back at Bryan, frowning. "Bullshit."

He rolled his eyes and stepped forward, scooping the tiny cub off Mox's shoulder. It barred its teeth, gave a little whisper of a hiss, but was—blessedly—to small to do much actual damage yet. "Alright, let's take a look at your goddamn kittens."

"And since I apparently can't keep my favorite kitten, you get to help me name them," Mox grumbled, almost pouting.

Bryan took a deep breath and turned to walk into the back, Mox and his menagerie following behind. "I'm not helping you name kittens."

"You're gonna be their god father, of course you have to name them."

He heard Yuta snicker and made a note to give him to Maxwell the next time he brought his cat in for a check up. "That's not how it works," he grumbled, reluctantly digging his fingers into the cub's soft fur as it started to purr in his hold. "And I'm not a cat person."

"Well, I'm not either, which is why I need a co-parent," Mox insisted.

"Then don't adopt them!" He set the cub on the exam table, where it immediately toddled off toward Mox.

"And abandon them? Just like the asshole who left them in a box in the woods?!" He gave Bryan an incredulous look, as he bent down enough that the cub could begin to climb up his chest all over again. At his feet, the fawn gave a loud bleat. "I know, can you believe this guy?"

Tiny hooves tapped across the tile, and the thing screamed up at Mox again.

"Exactly! I'm their dad now, I have to step up." He gave Bryan a smug look, blue eyes kind of twinkling at him. "See? She gets it."

Bryan took another deep breath, already regretting every single life choice he'd ever made. "Alright, fine. Hand me the little one with the white face," he grumbled, reaching out a hand. "Bob."

Mox's grin was blinding.

of all the Extremely Dumb things found in my high school notebooks, i think that

one of them keeps rescuing strays, the other is the vet who keeps having to kindly tell them that, no, that's not a dog you brought a fucking coyote into my office and no i don't know why it's snuggling you either, but it's like the eighth time this month, and last time it was a bobcat, do you contain any self preservation at all, i don't care if it fetches foxes are wild animals put it back

is my favorite and should be expanded upon.

consider: extremely tired vet bryan and snow white trash mox

[bibliocratic]

for the jm prompts you were asking for:

them making dinner together?

Thanks for the prompt!! :D

“Do you think we should… does it need another ten minutes?”

“It looks cooked, doesn’t it? And that’s how long the book says.”

“I mean, it’s white on the outside. Should it be… shouldn’t it be golden brown or something?”

“Isn’t that when you’re baking? With biscuits?”

“… give it another five?”

 --

“Jesus. What’s – ”

“Get the window! Open the window! I’ll grab the… shit, where’s the towel?”

“Is there any way to turn that bloody thing off?”

“As you can see, I’ve my hands full, Jon.”

“Right, right right… Is it burnt?”

“It’s fucking cremated that’s what it is.”

-

“It’s meant to be more solid, right?”

“I mean… I added the cream? I don’t know why it hasn’t set.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

--

“OK. It says here… ‘caramelise the onions’, what’s… that’s, do we need sugar then, for this bit?”

“Christ, I don’t know. Let’s just add some anyway.”

 --

“Fuck, we forgot to buy peppers.”

--

“Seasoning.”

“What about it?”

“We should probably add some.”

“I’ll look in the cupboard.”

“I mean, my grandma would add things like cumin, or turmeric and cardamom…”

“…But we don’t have any of those.”

“…No. And I wouldn’t know how to use them anyway. So, what do we have?”

“Um. Salt… and, er… a chicken stock cube.”

“…Right.”

--

“It looks… Homecooked?”

“It’s not exactly Masterchef, is it?”

“Look, we tried! It’s not going to be Michelin star, but it looks…. It’ll probably be edible!”

“…”

“…”

“Takeaway?”

“God yes.”