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cerberus253 · 4 years

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Demon Deep Dive (JCA)

Someone asked if I could do headcanons for the Eight Demon Sorcerers from Jackie Chan Adventures, so here it is, and more! Much more oh God...

Canon Stuff

All seven Demon Sorcerers HATE Shendu for his conniving nature and deceptive past towards/with them (Drago just hates him because father issues)

The Demon Sorcerers do not need external objects to perform spells, for it simply comes from their physical being

They are all old fucks

There are plenty more demon sorcerers, but these eight/nine are all those that were ever mentioned

All want to rule the world

Everyone, aside from Shendu, actually somewhat care about each other and agree to rule the world together. Why is that even though they shouldn’t have “social urges“ because of their biology? We’ll discuss that later

Looking back on the very first episode they were all in together, they are fucking in sync as all Hell! They were finishing each others’ sentences, they knew what each one was thinking. Damn, son, they be tight AF; family goals, amiright?

How to start a Demon Sorcerer meeting: Step 1) Find Po Kong, Step 2) Call everyone else over because it would take too long moving her at all

About the individual demons themselves (Most of this is reworded from the Wiki, but confirmed through watching their episodes):

Hsi Wu

Guerilla tactics for the win

Oddly patient, ya know, for someone so kind of childish

Becomes bored easily, so he has the knack to pick on his siblings and humans, with the latter being in more vicious and cruel ways

Aside from Shendu, Hsi Wu is the most bullied by his siblings (it’s because he’s small, isn’t it??)

Although he hates Shendu like the rest of his siblings, he is more “cold and apathetic“ towards him, with occasionally getting along, albeit extremely slight

High pitched noises hurts his ears

“His wings are sharp enough to cut through concrete“

Playful, although in a sadistic way

Simply flies to get where he needs to be

Likes to pester and make fun of Po Kong specifically

He just. Constantly smiles or has this big wide, toothy grin on his face all the time

*gremlin noises* *cat hisses*

Best/Worst Actor Award goes to...

Tso Lan

Sophisticated and more-or-less monotone sounding, he is always on alert with his senses. Despite this, his reaction timing is awful

Seemingly emotionless, his relaxed demeanor breaks when something doesn’t go his way. He does display some sarcasm, though

According to the wiki, he is very hard to please and never compliments anyone. What a stuck-up asshole

Along with Bai Tza and Xiao Fung, he is one of the more authoritative demon figures of the family

He apparently is one of the elder siblings

He is one of the most powerful sibling because he can bring the fucking Moon out of fucking orbit like it is nothing

He is Shantae He can control his hair, as well as float and glide gracefully

He can survive in space

He does indeed have legs, for he has been seen walking ONCE and we get to see his boots (Demon World (Part 2))

Shendu (My apologies, but not my regret, about if you are upset with me and my loathing for Shendu)

Selfish asshole who doesn’t like sharing, even with his family

Everybody Hates Shendu and Shendu Hates Everybody, and they all want each other dead, including Drago

Legit, he made a truce with Uncle, the mortal enemy, so he could horribly punish Drago. What a good father, amiright???

Can hold a grudge for, like, ever and hardly ever keep his promises. He also willingly admits he’s a traitorous bastard

Greedy and sophisticated asshole

Like, Jesus Christ, I wanted to give Shendu some slack because I did not want myself to be blinded by hatred for the guy, but my God is he the worst

“Shendu is not only devoid of compassion and sympathy for mortals, but also cares little to nothing for his family-members - this is displayed most markedly by how he left his siblings to rot in the Netherworld so he could rule the Earth himself.“

“Father and son's relationship was so toxic that Shendu even declared when Drago was being sucked into an interdimensional rift that his son deserved no less than to be trapped on the other side for his disloyalty.“

“Despite this, in response to Drago's apology and profuse pleading, Shendu visibly contemplated for a moment and hesitantly decided to try saving Drago from his fate (with a warning that his son must remember he is second to Shendu while they're on Earth), suggesting Shendu might genuinely care about his son to some extent (or at the very least, as close to caring about another being as Shendu is capable of).“ Um, not sure if I agree on the “genuinely care“ part, but totes on board with the “just wants him for a playing chip“ thought

Although he may be one of the most powerful demons of the family, that does not stop his siblings from actively going against him, which surprisingly makes Shendu submissive to them. Hmm...

He legit cares about no one but himself and that is no overstatement. I’m sorry to all those fangirls out there :V

Once ruled all of China

Shendu gets all whiny and high pitched, often stuttering, when expressing fear (which is every single time he gets a family reunion, which reminds me...)

He can be such a cheeky charmer

Although Shendu only cares about himself, he does seem pretty observant with recognizing what others do want, and of course uses that to his advantage. Hm, observant guy; no wonder he has fangirls

Tchang Zu

Not that talkative, even during fights, and rather only speaks when he feels the need to. However, when he does speak, it is rather loud and/or commanding

Hates when he isn’t respected, especially out of fear. He hates it so much he verbally explodes with anger when something personal to him is disrespected

Is willing to get down and dirty when reaching his (and his siblings’) goals

Is most likely the most colorful with his wording and admiring architecture

Really only attacks those he deems worthy (apparently there was a crowd of humans he only bothered scaring away and not attacking, even though they only saw him as entertainment?)

Become Goku Flies on a cloud to get where he needs to be

Oh my God he sits criss-cross-applesauce

Dai Gui

A little under average intelligence, but his brutality and strength make up for it, being an absolute bulldozer with anything that stands in his way

I must reinforce the “a little under average“ part because he does use the word “ludicrous,“ which is no caveman word

Violent and macabre imagery is his verbal forte

A big bully, since he loves throwing his authority around to those under him

Similar to Tchang Zu, Dai Gui is also willing to do dirty work, but mainly for himself than for others

Absolutely LOATHES “pretty“ things, like flowers

Sometimes talks in third person

Seems to prefer using his raw strength than his magical powers

Laughs at his own jokes

Persistent and dedicated. Nice!

Po Kong

Hungry Hungry Hippo; food is always on the mind, I wouldn’t be surprised if her want to rule the world was second on her list

Although she can and would eat anything, she is still picky

Her favorite flavor is human and salt

She knows French (ah yes, one of the “Love Languages”)

She snores

Po Kong likes to torment Hsi Wu

She can walk on her own

Favorite food: Human

Bai Tza

Hates Shendu the most

Most outspoken and dominating out of all the demons (”verged on superiority complex”)

Tends to deal with situations more realistically, as well as learning from past mistakes

Despite her intelligence, her hubris still gets the best of her

Along with Tso Lan and Xiao Fung, she is one of the more authoritative demon figures of the family

Apparently didn’t have humans living in her palace, which was Atlantis

Can levitate

Bunch of banshee screeches. Yeesh

Xiao Fung

Talkative and slimey diplomat that prefers debating with his siblings rather than arguing and fighting

Enjoys fights to the death between his underlings

Has an interest in drama and being a part of it

Seems to be the most cooperative and decent when working with humans. Cool!

Absolutely despises the Netherworld so much that a human prison is “paradise“ to him

Along with Bai Tza and Tso Lan, he is one of the more authoritative demon figures of the family

Need to get somewhere? No problem, just jettison your way with wind bellows from your lungs through your mouth

Although he does care for his siblings, it’s apparently not enough to “carry the burden“ of freeing them. Maybe it’s out of pure laziness? He does seem against doing active things (other than blowing wind, which only he can do)

Headcanon Stuff

Why do the Demon Sorcerers (besides Shendu) actually care for one another and agree to share the Earth between each other? I did say they do not possess the inherent-to-parent instinct, but I never said they were not social animals. The demons may not have the need to reproduce or want sexual anything, but they do posses the need/want to have company, which is kind of supported by the fact that canonically and in real life, Chinese demons mainly want to be praised and treated like gods. One cannot be considered a god, nor be praised in general, if one does not have beings beneath or beside them for confirmation

So, in a way, you could say they all desire some sort of reassurance of their importance.

Their relationship with humans is understandable, given from with what I just said, but the relationship between one another is a little more... deep? They obviously consider each other legit family, so they do care about one another (with some rough-play rivalry), but I think it’s less on the biological factor and more of the “fitting in“ factor.

Here’s my theory: Yes they are biologically family, but they did not view each other as such originally. After a while of being with one another, experiencing similarities, they became family-close in the metaphorical sense (in addition to the literal sense). This would explain how Shendu could have lost touch with them intimately while the others did not with each other, all the while still considering each other as family.

So, despite my whole push on the demons having little compassion, they do still harbor it; expressing it through family feelings. However, just like humans, there are always those who posses less compassion than the average person, and that would be Shendu. Shendu is the psychopath of the family-- the Black Sheep, if you will

In addition, theoretically, for all those fangirls and guys out there, they could love you like a precious pet. Just sayin’ (so, like, imagine the Demon Sorcerers having human pets and treating them like we do our own “Look how much of a chonkster my human is!” “Oh yeah? Well mine started getting ready for winter early; look at this massive boy-o!” I call my cats “stupid, stinky babies who I love” and then proceed to cuddle them all the time :V)

Fuck it, they have family movie/theatre nights because I find it endearing even though it may be Out of Character

To begin this next section, I want to state that the Demon Sorcerers are based on The Bagua. However, it is merely their elements that are the inspiration, not anything with the philosophy behind Bagua. However however, I will be looking into it and seeing what the Bagua has that still can reflect on the sorcerers. In other words, instead of basing the demons on the Bagua, I’ll be “basing“ the Bagua on the demons, if that makes sense.

Smol

Hsi Wu’s kingdom was probably located on the eastern coast of the USA

Judging by that teacher’s transformation with some of his chi, he may have “avian tendencies” with flying south for the winter and building nest-like structures

Probably the most convincing one to “befriend“ a human. Not because of his past friendship with Jade, but because people could relate to him of being picked on from size and lack of abilities, in addition to being more approachable because of his size and playfulness

His demeanor is mostly childlike, especially with how cruel children can be

Probably dislikes orchestral music, especially violins, flutes, the triangle, etc

Would most likely become a memester. Maybe.

“How do ya do, fellow kids?“

Likes to listen to music/singing while doing things and stuff. So, maybe he has to be distracted to some degree to be content, or he will be grumpy? (AD(H)D)

Real Talk: At one point in Tale of the Demon Tail (where Jade “befriends” Hsi Wu, or really his persona), Hsi Wu’s persona of being Jade’s friend actually disintegrates. Meaning, that “mask“ he put on to befriend Jade, at one point dissolved into an actual aspect of himself. So, when he answered Jade’s question of ‘are you going to the dance‘ or whatever, his initial response was that of an actual human-child Hsi Wu friend. While yes he was still acting, his initial response was almost unconscious, and then he realized what he was saying and said the other thing. I mean, it could have easily been “Nah, that’s stupid-- oh wait, that’s a good idea to get inside the house, actually,“ but that still follows the unconscious response action. What am I getting at here? Well, the interaction the two had proves that a clump of Hsi Wu’s personality does click with Jade. I’m not saying “I ship it“ or anything, what I’m saying is their personalities attract one another in general and could work between two different characters. As much as they seem to get along, there are other characteristics the two have that oppose one another and definitely shatters that friendship. So, Jade and Hsi Wu Being Friends? No; Some Personality Traits They Have Connect to One Another in General and Could Work Between? Yes.

The ye olde game of Chase is probably his favorite. Ya know, the game where you chase people around? Yeah, any game where he gets to chase/hunt his pray would be his favorite

Very similar to Shendu, Hsi Wu is one of the craftier folk of the family. However, unlike Shendu, creativity is his primary weapon which is, of course, used to make up for his size.

Similar to Xiao Fung, Hsi Wu is also one of the siblings that listens and pays attention the most. Their difference being is the information he learns is more for his selfish advantage than a “getting along” way.

Despite his dishonesty towards Jade, he is the most integral to himself. What I mean is, while yes all the demons follow their demon ethos, I believe Hsi Wu is the most true to himself and wouldn’t back down or reject something he is honestly interested in. However, probably because he knows how others know him, he can use this integrity to fool others into believing him with ease.

Hsi Wu is also probably the most inclined to have faith in others, but this DOES NOT mean he easily trusts people. What I’m saying is he may not easily trust others, but when he does, that faith in them is near unwavering

“The Beauty of Mischief”

“Lord High Lord of the Sky,” or “Lord High Lord of Firmament”

Vamps

Tso Lan’s “kingdom“ was probably located on the Moon

Like all sophisticated assholes, he probably enjoys reading, but only books that deal with the fall of humanity and apocalypse stuff. Maybe even some space stuff, like the movie Interstellar? (Star Wars can kiss his ass, though)

Can posses dark matter? Because of his dark magic bolts and his affinity with gravity?

Doesn’t like being around people. His siblings are fine, but he rather not have company, judging by how he most likely spends his time on the Moon and rarely visits Earth. Antisocial personality disorder much??

Like we have stated earlier, Tso Lan never gives out compliments, for he is oh so difficult to please. He watches intently and is careful with his neutral wording, always sounding cold and cruel. However, despite his emotionless disposition, he does have some ugly colors. For example, he does get angry, especially when he is interrupted. Example two, he does take pleasure in tormenting his enemies. However, the good color of natural tranquility explains his seemingly “lack of emotion.”

If he can ever “give respect” to anyone, it’s probably so difficult to achieve it should be considered impossible. But hey, if you do somehow get his compliments, consider yourself special, home slice! In addition, it’s probably also highly unlikely to get him to laugh. Like, not even a chuckle. Maybe a sarcastic and flat “Ha,“ but nothing too intense.

He may not think of himself as king or an emperor, but he does view himself as some sort of higher metaphysical power, like a pontiff. In addition, he probably sees his position being the highest because of his throne on the Moon and his power over gravity (and maybe dark matter). Being used to this placement, he has distanced himself from just about every living thing, being untainted with normal, petty desires. Oh but being a demon has its drawbacks, for wanting is in the blood. Meaning, there are most likely some things out there that he may desire (Fanfic Writers, assemble!)

You want him him to talk dirty to you? Why yes, you should keep good hygiene and not be smelly. Real Talk, though, because of his lack of emotion words, he probably would have difficulty conveying emotion verbally. But hey, his voice and tones are enough to get anyone aroused :V

Might secretly like dancing, but only simple ones. Like, The Waltz would be the most active he’d like

Might also hum tunes every so often. Despite that, he still prefers silence over noise of any kind.

“The Beauty of Isolation”

“Lord High Lord of the Moon,” or “Lord High Lord of Satellites”

Shit Dad

Probably studies magic the most and has a huge library filled to the brim with spell books and whatnot

Drago may be on his mind a lot, but probably not for any positive reason

Probably had Drago made for that thing in Taoism where two beings can connect one another metaphysically, and if one is in trouble (like they died or something), the other can help out (and resurrect if need be). Or, he wanted someone that wasn’t human on his side because he’s sure as Hell his siblings won’t side with him

While Drago is way more hotheaded than his Dad, it seems Shendu is more likely to let a petty grudge get in the way of his goals

Shendu hates family reunions

Dude’s a mad scientist

Probably regrets having Drago

Oh God, oh fuq, it’s the Big Bad Dragon that wants everything for himself. He must know what his name translates to because oh boy does he feel entitled to his mighty sovereignty. Like, he lusts for power so much that no amount of trickery could mask his clarity of greed, ya know, like a “true” dragon. What he wants, he will obtain, with let nothing obstruct his path… other than a petty grudge. He’s so full of passion and thermal rage he sticks out like a sore thumb amongst his brethren. He would even sink to deep lows to get what he desires, even if it is heavily depending on humans, lying, cheating, and stealing from his own family, doing forbidden things with humans to have a “son” he only wants to use as a playing piece, and even bend reality to his liking.

However, I must say it is impressive and admirable how adaptive he is with every situation he finds himself in. He is rather courageous and would try anything to reach his goal, even if it is siding with the enemy. Shendu speaks in sophistication and eloquence, to which the latter trait he shares with Xiang Zu, despite his childlike outbursts of rage.

He may not be the most elementally powerful sibling, but he is The Best with knowledge about other magics like spells and potions.

He does perform the stereotype of “dragons are beasts of greed” exceptionally well, which, I can admit, is pretty hot, being a monster lover myself

Something I’ve noticed with his face is that he lacks lips, which are replaced with external tooth-like structures. This actually forces the creators to make him expressive through other means, like his eyes. So, he’s expressive, and he fits the draconic poem I read in a book somewhere “Beware the glint in a dragons’ eye/ It is cold as ice to the liar/ It is sharp as a knife to the knave/ It is hard as iron to the greedy/ It is a burning flame to the brave.”

“The Beauty of Wrath”

“Lord High Lord of Fire,” or “Lord High Lord of The Thermal”

Sparky

Tchang Zu’s kingdom was probably located on the western coast of the USA

Would request for extravagant buildings and structures, as well as being a big fan of theatre (Beowulf, anyone?)

I can imagine him having a deep, boisterous laugh that is an award to trigger

Probably the best war strategist, everyone would hate playing Axis and Allies with him (He’d either play Russia for the size, or Germany because, well, you know)

(I’m just repeating what I’ve already stated, but whatever.) Similar to Tso Lan, Tchang Zu is careful with his words. However, what the latter does is speak only when he deems it appropriate, and sometimes with eloquence. When he does share his thoughts, it is in an assertive tone, making everyone stop and listen.

Tchang Zu is rarely ever caught off guard and surely plants himself where he stands, literally and figuratively. Despite his assertiveness, he does not come off as one of the most “authoritative” figures of the family. Instead, he’s more of an overseer and commander, making sure everything is falling in line under his, and his siblings’, iron-fist.

He is one of the few that would take the initiative when confronting a problem, which must be pretty terrifying for the opposition, seeing as how intimidating he is. Oof. Although he is on the shorter side, it does not bother him, for he knows his power is just as great as his siblings’.

Unlike his siblings, he wouldn’t be one of the “crafty” folk. What I mean is he isn’t a trickstery cuck like Hsi Wu and Shendu, but actually follows demon code and honor. I mean, not that “demon honor” is anything greater or equal to “human honor,” but the point still stands. What is “Demon Code and Honor” you ask? I dunno, watch Jackie Chan Adventures and observe demon culture yourself.

His demeanor may be slow and steady, but when he fights and flashes lightning, so much power and energy erupts from within. Majestic

Knows how to use semicolons properly

“The Beauty of Imperiality”

“Lord High Lord of Thunder,” or “Lord High Lord of Electricity”

Dai Guinguini

Dai Gui’s Kingdom was probably located on the western coast of Europe, maybe more specifically Spain

Let’s take that “hates pretty things“ even further beyond. The words “delicate and innocent“ usually come to mind when the words “pretty“ and “flower“ are shown. So, I headcanon he hates weak and fragile looking things, as well as cute. The more petite and dainty something looks, the more of an urge to destroy rises up

Probably needs to hold down a vomit when seeing romance in any medium (lava vomit?)

Also probably iffy on crystals and gems. Like, they are shiny and pretty and are sometimes delicate, but man, the massive structures these things can form into is crazy.

Dai Gui reminds me of the colossi in Shadow of the Colossus when viewed just wandering around. We know he acts like a brute and hates petite things, and is quite aggressive when he fights, but there’s something about him that makes me think of some majestic creature that likes to walk around all alone in a wide open space. There is some beauty to his “monstrosity” and I feel like that’s overlooked by him always being described as, well, a brute.

Although not as intense as Shendu’s, rage can also be a common sight with Dai Gui, but it’s mostly from his non preferred environments. Also, similar to Tchang Zu, Dai Gui appreciates his structural surroundings, but has a more keen interest in its earthly variety. Mountains, canyons, plains, plateaus, mesas, volcanos, deserts, etc. would be his ideal territory. Like I have mentioned before, I feel like he’d often roam around his landscape, constantly fixing and changing anything he desired.

Even though he doesn’t like flowers and such, I do not think he hates nature in general. Maybe most of it, but not all. He may like huge ass trees for their size and might, grasslands (like savannas) because, although grass is all over, it still gives a vast emptiness of calmness, which deserts give a vast emptiness of despair.

Quick note, I’m not saying he’s artistic and elegant. What I am saying he isn’t just a dumb idiot caveman that just lusts for destruction, but rather actually has a hobby of shaping the earth. Yes, he might find the terrestrial variety of the earth interesting, but he isn’t all, like, “Hmm yes, insert fancy art words here;” he’s more like “Hm yes, me like; I shall do more over there” and then just… does it without any pre planning or anything.

Not only does he like creating earthly structures, but also destroying them. Have you ever built something so cool (or have just seen something so cool) with Legos or whatever, and for some reason want to destroy it just because ‘ha ha destruction fun’? Yeah, that’s him sometimes.

I’d also like to add he likes bugs. Not only eating them, but also admiring their earth shaping tendencies. Their structures won’t stop him from eating them all, but he does like to see what they make before the big snack

I bet he likes to sunbathe sometimes. Mmmmm, warm rocks always feel good. Cool rocks, too! (This also made me think of belly rubs… hmm)

“The Beauty of Incessance”

“Lord High Lord of Earth,” or “Lord High Lord of Formation“

Mount Vesuvius

Po Kong’s kingdom was probably located in Japan, and/or Japan itself

Most likely the one to zone out on meetings with just thoughts on food (ADD maybe?)

Although she’d eat anything, Po Kong probably appreciates and remembers excellent meals. In addition, she probably could describe in detail of various tastes

Or, alternatively, since she eats so much all the food just blends together

Apparently, humans taste like chicken. So maybe, genetically create giant ass chickens, like in Skyrim, and feed her that if humans become scarce and/or too small for satisfaction

Probably the most difficult demon to satisfy, but not just because of hefty demands, but because she is practically the personification of gluttony. Like, I’m sure she can and will eat anything she wants, even inorganic things. She likes it? Nom. She hates it? Nom. She will never be fulfilled until she has consumed all… or until she explodes or whatever. I’m being dramatic.

Luckily, she is not picky. Unluckily, she is also picky. I guess it just depends on her hunger mood. One day, she may want just a bunch of salty snacks, likes chips and fries, and on another day she may want a giant bundt cake filled with gooey human flesh and blood.

Legit though, her kingdom/empire would be the number one food place in the entire world, with having the largest kitchen and all the best cooks (ha ha, like a collection. You could say she would have Too Many Cooks, but “too many” doesn’t exist in Po Kong World!). She would have food critics to make sure the meals she really wants to enjoy taste wonderful. Dude, like, imagine Gordon Ramsay and Guy Fieri at her command. She’d laugh her ass off with Ramsay yelling at people and Fieri with all of his antics; they’d be her favorite little humans. Funny, they’d both still be practically doing the job they do now, just being ordered around by a tyrannical demon who also likes food.

Has no interest in video games and picture shows, but does have the interest in the unique food that appears in them and of course demands them to be made for her.

To get on her “good side” is to be absolutely loyal to her and her eating habits. Ya gotta make the best meals, serve them in delightful ways (she actually doesn’t care about any fancy stuff, but appreciates the effort if done right).

I bet she likes getting spoiled. I mean, yeah, all the demons would want gifts rained down upon them, but they wouldn’t express as much glee as Po Kong would. She’d probably sound condescending half the time, but hey, at least she’s happy and smiles. Gotta give her big gifts though. Go big or go home, folks.

Just like us folk, she prefers Maximum Comfort when eating. That means sitting in her favorite chair, eating from her favorite dish, and watching her favorite entertainment pieces.

Ya into vore? She’s your woman *finger guns*

“The Beauty of Indulgence”

“Lord High Lady of the Mountains,” or “Lord High Lady of Beasts“

What do you call a fish without eyes? A Fsh

Bai Tza’s kingdom is factually Atlantis, but in the JCA universe, Atlantis might be close to the southern coast of Europe in the Mediterranean Sea

She’d be the one initially planning family get-togethers

Do I dare say I could imagine her being a dominatrix? Yeah sure

Similar to Tso Lan, she has/had an isolated kingdom away from humanity, but unlike her brother she most likely had subjects, which lived coastal in southern and south-east Europe, Northern Africa, and the Middle-East. Every civilization took a part in building her castle and its decor, but soon after it was complete, she sank it to the bottom of the Mediterranean Sea, never to be gazed upon with mortal eyes ever again.

Although she can survive in either, Bai Tza prefers warm and salty waters over cool and fresh waters.

Because of her unique bond with water, which literally has her able to morph to and fro between a liquid and solid state, she probably traveled and oversought numerous locations around the world, with any place being close to warm and salty seas. Did she hold dominion over them? Maybe, seeing as how just the Mediterranean Sea and most of its surrounding land is quite small for a kingdom when compared to her siblings’ territories.

Bai Tza may not be one of the most powerful siblings, but she is the most feared. She’s able to restrain herself when angry, she thinks outside the box when confronting obstacles, and her dynamism makes her tricky to confront. She is straightforward, blunt, and has a wicked and sharp tongue. Like stated before, she is one of the more outspoken relatives, being very dominant in every activity she takes part in. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was a control freak. However, enjoying her power so much leads her to be arrogant, making her hubris the number one weakness.

Bai Tza is probably the most cruel because she actively thinks about the damage she can cause instead of just doing it. Despite her cruelty, she isn’t heartless; she may in fact be the one that cares about her family the most, with having the most hatred for Shendu because of his betrayal to said family. On a side note with Drago, she probably rejects him mostly for his differences than his relation with Shendu, but of course the latter still counts. So, welcoming those into her tight personal circle would be a ‘no.’

Despite her evilness, she can and will compliment things that amuse her, and being super protective of them like personal property.

Would drown ships with anti-demon supporting humans on them, as well as anyone who enters her territory without permission. Probably could be convinced with gifts, but they better be good.

Theoretically could forgive past mistakes, but they must be made up with something equal or greater amount to said mistake.

Likes to wear jewelry, especially gold.

“The Beauty of Absolution“

“Lord High Lady of Water,“ or “Lord High Lady of the Abyss“

Froggy

Xiao Fung’s kingdom was probably located in Latin America

One of the smarter siblings, Xiao Fung prefers to discuss and debate over physically fighting. Not sure why, but maybe because he doesn’t view physical fighting as something “high ups” do; all of the dirty work is for the peasants beneath them. However, if forced and there being no other way, he would partake.

Knows the art of conversation quite well and usually dishes out the best conversations. He may not be eloquent like Tchang Zu, or very particular with his words like Tso Lan, but damn can he keep a conversation going if need be. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d yak with others if he’s bored. Maybe try talking some existential stuff with him; that’d be neat. Or keep asking ‘why’ like an annoying child, and he’d probably be tricked into answering each one, with getting annoyed more and more the longer it all goes on.

Despite his laziness, he still would do activities that require his assistance, as long as it’s something only he can do. If there is someone else available, he’ll leave it to them.

Xiao Fung is probably one of the more “approachable” demons, being how he doesn’t immediately give off “fear and respect me or die” vibes. He’s still intimidating, but to those with any amount of courage could muster up to confront him. Ya know, if it isn’t anything personal to him, then in that case you’d be the one telling everyone how terrifying he is, also, ya know, if he lets you go back to your village.

It wouldn’t surprise me if he had decision making issues when it comes to something he likes vs something useful/”right”

If a human went up to him and made a deal, he most likely would take it as long as he gets something in return that he wants, as well as the odds being in his favor.

Human antics are strange and insignificant, but they are still intriguing to him and would converse about it. Just don’t think you’d make him change his opinion on us; that won’t happen, fo sho.

The most forgiving and patient of the family, although it may not be by much. It most likely stems from his diplomatic character, being willing to discuss situations, even thoughts he leans more against. It’s really the subjects she is 100% not on board with he will not discuss, but something around 70%-60% he’d be more willing to listen to. Whether he actually agrees with you and is not just listening for amusement is another story.

Really enjoys music, favoring well put together orchestral.

Could hold some serious long notes, and probably sing in all sorts of keys (Dude. Singing bass)

Dude probably loves board games like chess.

Tchang Zu and him probably get along well because of shared interests in theatre and strategy games.

Would be the one to bring up topics to get everyone arguing if things got boring, like politics. In addition, he would also bring up playing the “Friendship Ender” games we all know and love, like Uno and Monopoly.

While Hsi Wu carries the “shit eating smile,” Xiao Fung has the “smug cat” face.

“The Beauty of Disruption“

“Lord High Lord of Wind,“ or “Lord High Lord of Currents“

Bonus Factoids Upon my Research

Theoretically, because it is stated that the Twelves Talismans are physical manifestations/vessels of Shendu’s powers, the other eight sorcerers (this includes Drago) could have their own Twelves Talismans

Apparently, killing/destroying a demon causes the disruption of balance within the universe, causing a “stronger evil“ to manifest and fill that “wound.“ So, again, theoretically, could a “stronger good“ happen as well if a situation summons/calls for it??

Sadly, according to Shendu, the all chi-absorption thing Drago did at the end of Season 5 is irreversible. So, canonically, Drago is technically forever stuck as a Cthulhu abomination. I am forever sad. Like, yeah I’m a terato lover, but I really prefer Drago as normal :’( However, Shendu answered to a human using a man-made chi spell. What if the actual Demon Sorcerers did a chi spell, to which apparently is conductible without external means? Could they be powerful enough to reverse it if all of them worked together???

[Chinese and English Name/Japanese Name- Chinese Translation/Japanese Translation]

Hsi Wu/Tokage- Evil Lizard/Small Lizard

Tso Lan/Kyuketsuki- Flood maker/ Vampire

Shendu/Kiryu- God of All (oof)/Spirit Dragon

Tchang Zu/Oni- Soldier of Madness/Ogre

Dai Gui/Shishi- Great Ogre/Stone Lion

Po Kong/Daikaiju- Feared Cliff/Giant Monster

Bai Tza/Nisei- Force of Defeat/Second Generation

Xiao Fung/Keroro- Little Wind/Frog

Early Christmas gift to y’all :V

God I hope this is good enough. I’ve been spending all my free time working on these guys just to get the original ask done. Don’t get me wrong, I did like doing this and forming at least some kind of unique character with each, but I am so exhausted from how long I’ve been working on it. It’s mainly my fault for being such a try hard, so don’t blame yourself, Anon who asked for this; you all good, bruv.

#jackie chan adventures #jca #eight demon sorcerers #demons #hsi wu #tso lan #shendu #tchang zu #dai gui #po kong #bai tza #xiao fung #canon #headcanons #oh my god this was a lot of work #and dedication

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magaprima · 4 years

Text

Episode 5 liveblog

First Angel glimpse. Why are angels always so bureaucratic? Yeesh

Tater tots are an important student president issue

Why hello there Nick wandering around Baxter High

Blackwood’s head on a plate is making me laugh haha

Lilith being like GO AWAY LEAVE US BE like a typically stressed mother. And I’m dying that she hasn’t left the room and Hilda being like ‘erm how do I broach this’

I shall remain in this room until Adam is 16 being Lilith’s entire plan and how she thinks it’s a great plan makes me laugh because for someone as old as Lilith 16 years is nothing. Also it’s a big fucking deal that she’s willing to not be Queen and be Queen Mother instead, it again shows how much she loves Baby Adam because she WANTS him to have the throne.

I do love when she’s like argh stop crying.

Sabrina saying ‘Calm down, Ariel’ when Nick says ‘I wanna be part of your world’ BAHAHAHA

Sabrina M being an official Queen. And the whole ‘babe again, no’ when caliban wants a tenth circle again. And Lucifer finally noticing Lilith isn’t there. Took him a while the self-absorbed bastard

Oh god random booth at Dr Cee’s popping off to hell for a moment

Theo don’t ignore creepy laughter in your room

Omg another hobgoblin???? No memory wiping and sneaking off is not cool, Robin

It seems like hell and the mortal realm are pushing in on each other? The boundaries fading?

Sabrina M stands like Zelda and behaves like Zelda. I like this hehe

Why does the former church smell? Omg Blackwood’s body is rotting? And why are his kids still so wiggy?

Side note: where are all the adults at this season? Make it less teenagers please

Yes you are responsible Sabrina. Your paradox twin and you caused all this knock on effect. Ooooh time for the aunties to find out there are two Sabrinas. And Ambrose being like ‘wait you’re actually going to take responsibility?’

Ooooh no Morningstars got there first. And the dark Lord being pissy about Hecate worship.

‘Ambrose Spellman you come here right this instant’ great Zelda moment ooh Ambrose is 134 years old.

Also all this bringing the dark Lord to the academy is the entire reason all the shit happens to lilith. So yet again consequences of Sabrina’s actions tragically effect Lilith

So there is also a fae realm

Oh Lucifer and caliban being utter sleazy mysoginistic bastards about fucking Hecate?????? She’s more powerful than both of you and way better you bastards. I love Nick calling them tools

Roz is adapting VERY quickly to witch life. Having torture fun on Blackwood. Nowhere as much as prudence who is having the TIME OF HER LIFE

Lucifer being the first suggesting kill a Sabrina. He’s such a bastard. Nick coming in with a much more intelligent idea. Magnet polarity on a magic scale; neatly.

Darkest of the dark lords? Think a lot of yourself don’t you, Lucifer??

Dammit didn’t work with the magnets

It’s raining pearls?

‘The false god will be sticking his nose in our affairs. I hate when he does that’ lucifer has issues

An Angel calling lucifer Lightbringer and i like that they’re referred to as gender neutral

So the Angel says they can merge into one Sabrina which is awkward because they now have two distinct souls

Also why is Sabrina not at all interested in her baby brother??? Like why hasn’t she gone to see him??

LILITH SINGING HER BABY TO SLEEP WHILE ROCKING HIM SHES SO PEACEFUL. And then it’s fucking ruined by the dark Lord arriving

Oh I wish you had kept running Lilith, just for a little time at least

‘Here take Adam hide him keep him safe’ trusting Adam to Hilda MY HEART

And god Lilith looks so scared but she’s being so brave in facing him.

‘Well she was the goddess of witches and I am the first witch’ damn straight, Lilith

The fear in lilith’s eyes, not at the idea of being killed, but the idea of Adam being left alone with lucifer and without his mother to protect him and knowing he would ‘toughen him up’ by being cruel and abusive. Lilith fears for his welfare more than her own and i just wish she’d gone to Zelda instead but I feel she just thinks she never wins, that the dark Lord always comes back, always and she’d be running forever and Adam would always be in danger. The fact she has make this horrible horrible decision is causing my PHYSICAL PAIN in my heart

And she knows when she’s rocking him that it’s the last time she’ll ever hold him. She loves her son, she loves him, wants to keep him safe....and has to butcher him. I can’t bear it. I CANT FUCKING BEAR IT. Like i can’t focus on any other scenes be when I keep thinking about Lilith having her last hours with Adam. Ow, I’m crying.

Oooh Angel being fucking sneaky and lying. Big fucking surprise and now everyone choking the Angel to death and breaking her neck. Is that possible?

Theo being self-sacrificing and telling Robin to go.

So Sabrina M being shot through into another cosmos. So many many universes this season. Stepping through a mirror is very traditional.

OMG THE ORIGINAL AUNTS THEYRE HERE

Owwww the Lilith child scene. I’m crying. There’s blood everywhere. And calling Adam her lover and saying she named her son after him. And the way she reminds him of the ‘dinner’ he served her. And begging lucifer to kill her. She loved that baby so much and she wanted to die so much to be reunited with him, both of them free from the dark Lord. Her agony when he curses to age and wither and grieve but never die, and how much she cries out in agony over it so much

And then she’s outraged at his punishment but then it REALLY hits her as she looks around and sees the blood of the son she loved so much, the son we haven’t see her without since he was born, and realises not only is she cursed to live but she’s cursed to live without her son and knowing she killed him. Although I’m watching with my mum and she immediately was like ‘I understand her actions so much. It’s like when someone’s suffering and they die and you think at least they’re free of that now. It’s saving your child from the suffering no one could protect him from’. But my gods she loved her son so much.

I am in fucking agony myself over this

#caos p4 spoilers #CAOS p4 liveblog

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stetervault · 5 years

Note

Has there been a "Stiles rescues Peter" rec list yet? I'm looking for anything from monster of the week to Eichen House to the Wild Hunt. The idea that I've already read them all is too terrible to contemplate. (Thanks for running an amazing blog!

Not specifically as far as I can remember. But it’s always a genre I can get behind :) Here are some I think fit that category, either as the whole fic or part of it. And thanks for following my blog!

A Moment, Then Silence by Therapeutic_Steter

anonymous asked: Stiles takes care of a heavy injured Peter, who has permanent damage since then. The pack doesn’t care, but Derek and Cora realise that he is family.

Scale Tales by Therapeutic_Steter

Connected drabbles revolving around Dragon!Stiles and his werewolf Mate, Peter.

Rhythm of the War Drums by HyperLittleNori (Shiguresan) (this one’s more them taking care of each other and saving each other)

The foreboding song of the drums rumbled through the stands above, made his heart, his blood pound with their increasing rhythm. He’d seen this so many times now, heard the sickening, morbid excitement of the rabble. He readied himself for the carnage, but even nearly a year after he’d first stood in this spot, it still filled him with dread.

As always, he watched the sandy arena through the barred steel gates. They vibrated with the movement, with the almost deafening sounds of the crowd and the drums. A sea of guards stood at his back, but they were not there for him…

Hooverville by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids)

Town to town, train to train, tent to tent.

By 1932, the dust had begun to blow and the jobs were gone.

Anonymity was a byproduct of looking for work, which made it both necessary and convenient.

Stiles had enough secrets of his own to know to look the other way when he saw something that shouldn’t be possible.

The ghost of a tail giving enough balance to disembark a moving train.

Near silent Latin whispered on the edge of a tent encampment.

A flash of burning eyes.

He had more than enough to worry about without adding the oddities of others, and besides- having unusually sharp teeth certainly didn’t make a man worse than the ones running from the wife and kids they couldn’t feed.

So Stiles kept his observations to himself. He kept his everything to himself.

Until he met a man. One with eyes so blue they seemed to glow- and then they did.

Stiles tried to look away, but for the first time he was stopped.

“Don’t be like that sweetheart. Aren’t you curious?”

If I Could Kiss You Again by Triangulum

“Summer plans?” Peter asks, eyes on where Isaac is now trying to inch along the ceiling beam toward the wall where he can slide down a pipe.

“Leaving for Stanford in September. Saving the world and working in between now and then,” Stiles says. “Why, gonna miss me?”

“Considering I’ll be left alone with Derek? Yes,” Peter says.

“You’ll have Cora,” Stiles says. “And Isaac will be here to make up a few high school credits.”

There’s a shriek and a thud as Isaac loses his grip, falling on top of Erica and Boyd, sending them all to the ground in a heap.

“Yes,” Peter says flatly. “Thank god for that.”

Five times Stiles kisses Peter and one time Peter kisses him.

Stravinsky by rightsidethru

Duke Orsino:If music be the food of love, play on,Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,The appetite may sicken, and so die.

Twelfth Night; Act 1, scene 1, 1–3

Wolf Within by wynnebat

Instead of convincing Scott to regain his humanity by killing the Alpha, Derek offers another possible solution.

Fashion. Police. by Bunnywest

In which Stiles is a cop with an interest in menswear, Peter’s the owner of a menswear store with a definite interest in Stiles, and why is there always some maniac running around throwing tins of red paint and making death threats?

Fashion, baby.

Under the Songbird’s Wing by mia6363

Captivity easily destroys the will of escape. It can break the fiercest of animal. It can strip the most regal man and woman down to nothing but animal needs.

Captivity can, if met with unwavering determination, shape a person into something unimaginable.

Stiles is sixteen when he’s captured. Stiles’s first thought is, “I won’t die here.”

The Promises Of Yesterday, The Pledges Of Tomorrow by ShippersList

Stiles is a kid with serious concentration issues and definitely not a guide—let alone a guide strong enough to calm down a feral Sentinel wolf. It’s just not possible.

Keep You (Safe) Within my Shadow by lavenderlotion

Stiles has never been scared of the dark. The shadows are his friends.

Dance Under the Moonlight by Therapeutic_Steter

Anonymous asked: Fae!Stiles saving Peter from Pack’s stupidity and washing his hands of them. Please?

Through Space and Time by MaroonDragon

When Stiles pulls the body of Peter Hale into his ship, he doesn’t expect him to be alive. He also doesn’t realise he might have gotten more than he bargained for.

Promises We Never Made by Green

Peter runs off to wreak havoc without telling Stiles where he’s going. Then Stiles has to rescue him.

Rainwater, Morning Dew, Ozone. by lavenderlotion

When Peter is kidnapped, Stiles is left to come to the rescue.

Peter ends up hard.

Fear (Doesn’t Mean I Can’t Fight) by azerblazer

Peter is the damsel in distress, the Sheriff is the hostage, random unnamed hunters are the bad guys.

Stiles has a bat, a hoodie and a willingness to do anything to protect those he’s loyal to.

Bring it on.

Bone Rot by neglectedtuesday

Stiles watches Peter from across the room, although he feels like he shouldn’t. Like he shouldn’t try to insert himself, even by proxy, into the moments Peter is experiencing. Autumn spills into the living room through the open doors, lighting Peter from behind. He is bathed in soft light and Stiles lingers in the shadows, ignoring the symbolism of that. He’s bored of all the different metaphors for longing.

Slice by syriala

Blood magic was dangerous magic, but Stiles’ teacher was one of the best, and Stiles wasn’t too worried that it wouldn’t work out. It would cost him, dearly even if his teacher was to be believed, but Stiles had learned all about the sacrifices for this and he couldn’t care less.

Not This Again by RebaK1tten

There’s a rumor that the last episode of the show will have Peter getting killed, again. Perhaps to give him a redemption arc or something.

So this is a fix it fic. I decided Stiles has finished one year of college. And Peter’s back again!

Cleanse My Soul by Mysenia

cywscross asked: “We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?” + Steter? Thanks:)

Call My Name by KouriArashi

After moving to Beacon Hills, Stiles starts having recurring dreams of a man in some kind of prison, who needs his help. Things get so bad that he ends up in Eichen House, where he finds out that the man is real.

Shelter by ShippersList (more hurt/comfort than straight-up saving Peter)

A magical attack leaves Peter vulnerable and in agony, and it reminds him way too much of his time in a coma.

love me lights out by veterization

Stiles and Peter get snowed in together. (Or: what happens when you accept phone calls from people you haven’t spoken to in over five years.)

labyrinth by sinequanon

Stiles prefers goblins to werewolves. Except maybe Peter.

Til Death by Bunnywest

“How long do we have to find him someone?” Stiles asks.“Two weeks,” says Derek, eyebrows pulling down even further. The fierceness of his expression tells Stiles just how concerned he is.“He marries, or he goes to the camps. And you know what your father told us,” Scott reminds her.The camps……aren’t camps.Peter either finds a wife, or he dies.

Bigfoot Told Me You Were Coming by twothumbsandnostakeincanon (somanyofthekids) (Stetopher)

Peter and Chris are on the run when they stumble across Stiles’ home in the woods.

You Got Me Now by syriala

Stiles stormed into the warehouse, eyes roaming around, desperate to find Peter. The pack was close behind Stiles, but he didn’t pay them any mind when his eyes fell on Peter.

He was on the floor, not even shackled, like someone had just discarded him without a second thought.

Peter was naked except for his pants, and Stiles could see the wounds that marred his skin. He decided not to think about why they weren’t healed.

Bittersweet Creek by Guede

When Stiles finally steps off the westward trail to California, he’s the last of his pack. He starts building a den, but then he finds a dying man next to a burnt-down house and it turns out he’s not really much of a settler, after all.

The Alpha by Therapeutic_Steter

An Alpha always protects what’s theirs.

…..

“Has anyone seen Peter?” Stiles asked at the next Pack meeting, trying to play his concern off as his typical curiosity. It wasn’t like he and Peter had been trying to keep…whatever it was that was developing between them a secret, but most of the Pack was notoriously self-absorbed and hadn’t noticed yet. As it stood, Stiles was only sure that Lydia and Derek knew about it; Lydia because she put it together and warned Peter off hurting Stiles and Derek because he came back to the loft to find them snuggled on the couch looking through an old tome and he’d also warned Peter about hurting Stiles.

Why did they not think Stiles could hurt Peter? Stiles could totally hurt him. If he wanted. Which he didn’t, but that was beside the point.

Let Me Run Away With You by Whispering_Sumire (Steterek)

“So,” Peter says, after an hour or so of driving in tense silence, “I assume we’re going back to your beloved Beacon Hills?”

“No,” Stiles tells him, without even looking up from the restorative paste he’s administering to Derek’s wounds. And isn’t that surprising?

“No?”

“I took the GPS out of Roscoe and I hacked into some of your accounts to get him travel-ready. I don’t care where we go Peter, but I don’t want to go back to Beacon Hills,” there’s a desperation in his voice that makes Peter’s skin crawl, though he has no idea why, “please.”

“Okay,” Peter agrees softly.

[Or: The one where Stiles is in a very bad place, and Peter and Derek manage to unwittingly save him from himself while he saves them from themselves.]

Hostile Takeover by kiranightshade

Alternate season 4 where Peter gains a new roommate in Eichen…for about five minutes. Then all hell breaks loose.

For Great Justice! by Green

Stiles is a vengeance demon, drawn to Peter just as he’s waking from his catatonia.

“Whoever did this? We will make those fuckers suffer. I promise you.”

Enemy Action by pprfaith

Once is chance, twice is coincidence and three times is far too many bodies on the ground.

Whiskey is My Kind of Lullaby by taylorpotato

Peter is a simple saloon owner on one of the outer planets between the Aaru Belt and the Olympus Galaxy. He’s done with trouble. Done with adventure. So fucking done with rustlers. That is, until a cute young outlaw named Stiles wanders into his bar. Peter has this problem where he can’t seem to resist charming narcissists (perhaps because they remind him of himself). And when said narcissists turn his life upside-down, the worst part is he’s not even that upset about it.

#teen wolf #steter #fanfic rec #bamf stiles #hurt peter #awyeahitssam #ask #rec list

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thatlongspringnight · 6 years

Text

Vellichor (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

VELLICHOR {English}

(n.) the strange wistfulness of used bookstores, which are somehow infused with the passage of time – filled with thousands of old books you’ll never have time to read, each of which is itself locked in its own era, bound and dated and papered over like an old room the author abandoned years ago, a hidden annex littered with thoughts left just as they were on the day they were captured

Antique Bookstore!Au Namjoon x Reader

from my kpop blog

tagging: @suzuchim

Part One of my seven part rainy day romances

The first time you walked into the store it was raining, the gentle patter of water droplets condensing to steam on the summer-baked asphalt outside.

Glancing around, you couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that you had never seen the place before, how you had managed to walk by nearly every day on your way to class, never once dipping in.

The aura was soothing, leather bound treasures seeming to cover every surface, cluttered but loved. A sense of history clung to the space, and it made you feel like you had stepped into another world. It kept you there, tugging you down mysterious aisles as you trailed your fingers across pages that felt ancient, that felt like they had all the answers.

Till you rounded a corner, the sharp sound of books tumbling to the ground echoing in the quiet space as you collided with something.

Well, someone. When you glanced up, apologies already falling off your tongue, you felt the words die in your throat.

He was tall, hair a dashing shade of silver-gray, a color that made him look like he wasn’t quite of this world. A concerned sound left his throat as he reached out to steady you, his cheeks flushed as his hands met your arms.

“Sorry!” He managed, eyes trailing to the books on the ground. “I didn’t hear anyone walk in.”

“Ah, no, I should be sorry.” You knelt down, feeling your damp shirt stick uncomfortably to your skin as you tried to gather the books that fell. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

The man leaned down, reaching for a book that you had your hand on, the contact of his skin, warm, shocked you a little, and you snatched your hand away.

“Sorry, again, sorry.” At that you laughed, a soft noise that built when he glanced at you, his glasses askew on his face.

He grinned, precious dimples appearing on his face as he chuckled, shaking his head when you finally rose, books gathered in your arms.

“We’re both a mess.” You managed, passing the literature to him as he set the stack back onto his cart. “Hold still.” You reached over, adjusting his glasses for him. Maybe it was forward of you, but you figured you had already given him a hard time. You felt your cheeks heat up as you brushed your fingertips against his hair, the soft strands bringing a shiver down your spine.

The air seemed electrical, magic even, an undercurrent that made butterflies blossom in your stomach.

“I- Thanks.”

“No problem.” Your hands fell to your sides, nervously fiddling with the material of your skirt.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” He filled in, obviously throwing you a social life-preserver.

“Ah, um. It’s just. Okay, I’ve never been in here before.” You cough, looking away. “I really like it, I feel like I’m not sure where to look.”

“Well, you can start by looking at me.” You could tell he was smiling without even looking at him. “My name is Kim Namjoon.” He offered, and you responded in kind, your name falling out of your mouth like stones from your pocket.

“Namjoon-ah.” You tried, looking up at him. “What do you recommend?

“Hey, Namjoon-ah.” It was overcast, and the promise of rain reminded you just enough of the little book store that you couldn’t help but duck in. This time, however, you caught sight of Namjoon right off the bat, grinning as you waved at him.

“Hey.” He bobbed his head, stepping away from the display he was working on. “Caught in the rain again?”

“Nearly.” You adjusted the backpack on your shoulder. “Can I sit and do school work? I’ll buy a book.”

“You bought three last week.” He raised an eyebrow at you, a clear challenge on his face.

“I finished them.” You countered, settling yourself in a chair at the seating area. “They were really good, thanks for the recommendation. With series books, it’s like I can’t put them down.”

“I know what you mean.” He laughs then, and you can’t help the blush on your cheeks. “I feel like I’ve read most of the books here in the last two years.”

In that moment, you begin to count your meetings with Namjoon like photographs, like short stories, each episode creating a bigger picture, but unique on their own.

Kim Namjoon has a degree in music. You learn one night, about an hour before the bookstore closes. He made a pot of coffee, pouring you each a cup of the strong stuff before sitting across from you. He has a degree in music and spends his nights and weekends alternating between his job as a DJ and rapping.

Rapping and song writing are his passions, you learn, and he is damn good at the both of them.

During the day, he works at the bookstore, from about 9 am till 9 pm and you really question his need for sleep.

“I have to do it.” He looks right at you, under-eye circles hidden by the frames of his glasses. “I need the money.”

He needs the money to enter the right events, so he can meet the right people.

You, on the other hand, have a degree in accounting and are working on your masters while interning for a firm.

“I admire you.” You confess another evening, stirring the lukewarm coffee. “You are really passionate about what you love, and you are doing whatever you can to reach your goals. It makes me feel like I took the easy way out.”

“Accounting as the easy way out?” He chuckles, staring into his cup of coffee. “I’ve never heard that one before.”

So you tell him about how you painted, pulling out the sketch book you always kept with you, letting him flip through the well-worn pages. You told him about how you made time for it whenever you could, but you knew it wasn’t the life for you.

“Everything in my life has always been unstable.” You shrug, a half-smile on your features. “So I’ve always played it safe.”

Your moments with Namjoon, those snapshots, blur together like film over the next few months. Always in the bookstore, you begin to wonder if he really did live there.

Still, you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Just you and Namjoon, perhaps the idle customer now and again, flittering through as you focused on paying attention to your book. Well, focused on looking like you were watching your book, when in reality you were looking at Namjoon.

Namjoon leaning over your shoulder to watch you read. Namjoon’s delighted smile when you brought him something homemade for dinner. Namjoon’s smooth voice, carrying your conversation, making you laugh.

Namjoon lending you his umbrella one night, walking you back to your apartment as the rain fell around you.

“You didn’t have to walk me home.” You hum, grinning up at him.

“If you get sick, who is going to bring me energy drinks?”

“Namjoon-ah, those rot your brain, you shouldn’t want them.”

“I don’t want them, I need them.” He shrugged, his dimples defined as he smiled wide. “You really get me through the day, you know.” You looked away, a blush on your cheeks.

“It always rains when we’re together, I feel like.” You change the topic, unsure of yourself all the sudden.

“You first came into the bookstore on a rainy day.” If he looks down at you, you don’t see, too busy focused on your feet, on anything but his face, because if you looked at him-

You knew you’d have to admit you loved him.

“I won’t be at work this week, Yoongi will be covering the store.” The comfortable silence was broken as you stopped at the entrance to your apartment. Literally stopped, in your tracks, sending Namjoon stepping right into you, not paying attention. He reaches out, steadying himself and you.

“Ah, what will you be doing?” You stare up at him, his arms nearly wrapped around yours. ‘Yoongi doesn’t make the coffee right.”

Namjoon laughs, letting you go, stepping back, consciously removing himself from you.

“I’ll tell him how you like it, yeah? I’m going out of town to meet with a producer, then I think I’m going to take a day or two off.”

“A producer? Joonie that is great!” Mood shifting in an instant you nearly flung yourself back into his arms. “Oh my gosh, I’m so proud of you!”

“My first groupie.” He chuckled, looking down, suddenly shy. ‘It was worth walking you home to see your reaction.”

“Right…” You paused, remembering you were home. ‘If I don’t see you before then, you got this. You know you do.”

“Yeah.” There was an odd silence that encompassed the both of you, for a moment you nearly thought about inviting him in. “I’m going to head out, I need rest for the week.”

“See you later Namjoon-ah.”

Raining again and you nearly make it past the building, a sort of anxiety bubbling in your stomach

The rain makes you stop, and you wonder what is holding you back. What has always been holding you back?

You hold your breath, staring up into the darkened sky, feeling the droplets pool and divot down your skin, suddenly heavy, holding you in place.

You haven’t visited in nearly three weeks, not since that night he walked you home in the rain.

It has been sunny, oppressively so, too bright, it made you tense, on edge.

Maybe you’re in love with him.

Maybe seeing him laughing so casually with someone else had hurt you more than you were willing to admit. Maybe it was the fact that you waved at him and he saw you. He saw you! But then looked away, eyes trained on the woman sitting across from him.

It had made you feel small.

The sting in your chest even in this moment- God you were whipped.

You tried to convince yourself that you were hurt because you were his friend, because at the least you deserved to be acknowledged.

That wasn’t it though, you knew that. It was so much more.

Maybe the concept of never again stepping into that book store and being lulled by the scent of those old books and his beautiful, joking smile was enough to bring tears to your eyes.

But it was okay, it was okay to cry, when they just looked like raindrops.

A car honked, water splattering against the raincoat drawn close to your body, you shivered anyway, the spell broken.

There was no old book that could sooth your soul. The vellichor scent of the bookstore that had made you feel safe and warm only made you feel anxious now.

Still, you stood there, staring at the door.

You could go in or you could go home. What did it matter? You turned on your heels, eyes on the cobblestone in front of you.

Home was the better choice, where you could take a warm bath, unwind and listen to a podcast or something. Drink a glass of wine, or maybe a bottle.

But going in-

Going in meant seeing Namjoon’s dimpled smile directed at you. It meant apologizing for your absence, acting like it wasn’t intentional, acting like everything was fine and not like every piece of you was screaming to confess to him-

Your breath caught, familiar eyes meeting your through the foggy window.

You felt exposed, like he could see right through you. Those eyes of his widened as they took you in from top to bottom, to the very depth of your soul.

He said something, and you thought maybe it was your name, falling off his lips like the rain that dripped ceaselessly down your back. Time moved slowly, you saw him take a step towards the door, like he was going to come closer, beckon you in.

You looked away, feet carrying you faster than you thought, running till you were out of breath, panting and tired. Till you nearly fell against your front door, scrambling for keys, bag falling to the floor as you locked the door behind you.

A hot bath and wine, that would fix this.

The rain was worse, coming down in sheets as lightning flashed, coloring your apartment in an eerie, changing glow.

Ever so often the thunder was loud enough to make you jump, the windows shaking. You pulled your blanket closer around you as you started at the television from your spot on the couch.

The loudness of the thunder almost drowned out the sound of the knock at your door. But you heard it, and again, a loud rap.

Slinking out of your blanket you tip-toed to the door. A dark and stormy night wasn’t a good time to open the door for strangers. You leaned up, glancing through the peephole in the door.

“Ah!” You gasped, quickly unlocking the door and flinging it open. “Ah, oh my gosh, Joonie what are you doing here? It’s like death outside.” For a moment, you forgot the awkwardness between the two of you, nearly dragging his soaked form inside. “Sit down. Here let me get you a towel, some hot tea-“

“Hey.’ He spoke your name, firm, his hand on your arm, keeping you still. You froze, staring up at him, his hair clinging to the sides of his face, eyes troubled. “What was that back there?”

“H-Huh?” Your cheeks flushed as he pulled you closer, close enough that you could kiss him. “What do you mean?”

“Earlier, when you almost walked into the shop. I know you saw me. Why did you run away?” Namjoon released you, his voice holding an edge of desperation. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine, Namjoon-ah.” You stepped back, crossing your arms so you wouldn’t fidget. “I just- I just remembered I had something I needed to do here.”

“Why haven’t you come by? Did, did Yoongi say something?”

“What? Yoongi? No, what would he have said?” You gave him a confused look, trying your best to steady your nerves. He breathed, relief that faded back into concern as he looked at you.

“Did I do something?” That question was quieter, his eyes searching your face for the truth.

“I’ve just been busy Namjoon-ah.” You looked down. away from him.

“Why are you lying?”

“Why would I lie?” You shot back. “What reason would I have to be upset with you?” You looked at him expectantly, wondering if he even realized.

“I- I don’t know.” He began. “All I know is that I saw you every day and now I haven’t seen you since that night when I walked you home. Something is wrong.”

“Namjoon-ah, nothing is wrong, and that isn’t true. I saw you that same week, at that old Italian restaurant.” You couldn’t stop yourself from the dig, unwilling to let that trivial thing go.

“The restaurant.” He paused, realization on his face. Namjoon was too smart, and you could tell by the look on his face that you had revealed too much. “I was meeting with one of the label representatives.”

You made a noncommittal noise, looking down. “How’d that go by the way?”

“if you would have come by, I could have told you.”

“If I came by I would have had to face the fact that I like you, okay!” The words tumbled out of your mouth, uncontrollable. “A lot, more than- More than a friend, more than a groupie. I like you, Joon, okay. That is it. That is why I have been avoiding you.” You stared at him, glowering, a pout painted on your lips. He stared at you in surprise, a blush coloring his cheeks.

“That’s it?” He finally managed, hands cupping your face. “That is why you’ve been avoiding me? Because you like me?”

“Y-Yes?” You stammered, face warm. “That is why.” Then his lips met yours, sweet and bitter like coffee, tasting of rainwater and promises. You all but melted against him, hands grasping at the fabric of his shirt. He was kissing you, Namjoon was kissing you. It was soft, deep, and not near long enough.

“Are we in Kindergarten?” Namjoon chuckled, breath dusting over your lips. “I spent all this time wondering if I had done something.”

“Does this mean you like me to?” You teased, letting him back you towards your couch.

“Very Much.”

#bts #bangtan sonyeondan #kim namjoon #kim namjoon fic #bangtan fic #RM #RM fic #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #oneshot #bts oneshot #inspired by Mono

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

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14x09 watching notes

jingle bells, bobo smells, It is no fun, for us to wait All christmas in hiatus

Berens... please...... I beg you........... don't kill the sweet precious moonchild that is Garth. Please. The joke is "how are you still alive!?" and it would be a disrespect to Bobby's memory, and he represents a stable post-hunting endgame that was a beacon in season 9. In this essay I will

They used Dean's dead-voice "we're the guys that scare them" speech about hunting monsters in 13x05 to open. I wonder if Yockey wrote that thinking it might be the logical open to 13x23 and instead they used "this is boring, got any music?" also from one of his episodes.

[i guess! meme]

The recap left us hanging about if Jack was alive or not for the Kaia recap which turns out to be rude even though I know that he's fine ("fine") now because I am so emotionally affected by this dumb lump of nougat that not seeing an instant "he's okay haha tricked you!" legit raised my stress levels a notch.

Maybe because it's 4am and I was demolishing a slab of toast before the December chill in my room got it first, but I don't think there was any particular art or storytelling to the recap worth mentioning or musing on, and this came across almost more like the recap AFTER the break because getting back to plot stuff like seeing Mikey things again... The 13x05 lines make me wary on Dean's emotional behalf but obviously these are for very different reasons so the only real thing that might come up is that Cas is hiding his deal from Dean and Dean sounded so dead in the feels because Cas was dead. Obviously the real stress right now is what's up with Dean re: obvious nerve-wracking things like the djinn bouncing off his head or his swooshy vision, things we've been collecting up to ask more pointed questions about when Michael's in the room.

Americans: "that's downtown Vancouver!/an actual American city!/the ACTUAL American city in the caption!" me: "hurrrr skyline"

How much budget for Christmas music

I hate this episode already

Okay the blood and screaming is improving things.

Listen, werewolves always have so much fun these days. We had the knock knock one in 13x09, the Kardashian ones in 13x23, and now we have wereSanta here, who just spotted the mistletoe. D'aaaw.

These halo-shaped lights in this apartment Michael picked sure are gonna come in handy if the director knows what they're doing.

GARF. Please say you're here undercover.

OH SHIT. Michael KNOWS. Being in Dean's head does that to you. All his peeps get embedded in your brain. Please tell me some 2 way vessel/angel nonsense happens and you can't bring yourself to harm him.

GARTH HAS A LITTLE GIRL NOOOOOOOOOOOO

She adores Mr Fizzles. Garth spends hours with them hanging out together.

I don't believe him though. I mean. He's just telling Michael what he wants to hear, right?

Having a little girl is such a way to die, though. I mean. Can we just... not do that?

Let Garth Go Home For Christmas

Those halos sure aren't landing over Michael's head no matter how many of them there are

Jack: eating gross cereal made of cookies at midnight in the dark

Me: I love and support you and have done the same

Cas: *SQUINT*

Dadstiel is the best

Sam being the "it will rot your teeth" dad is also the best. I love the Dad Heirarchy being established here. Sam is still Dad no.1 and the one who lays down the rules and gets disobeyed about midnight cereal, full on domestic dad-ing. Cas is the dad who hears you munching from across the entire Bunker and sighs and gets out of Dean's bed where they've been watching movies together (I extrapolate from missing data) and comes to investigate but ends up in the Secret Midnight Cookie Cereal Pact instead.

If Garth dies he may bequeath Mr Fizzles to Sam to help parent Jack, who is now keeping secrets about midnight cereal consumption and needs an expert lie-detector to help him parent.

Okay, so, in season 9 after Dean took the Mark of Cain he was up all night eating cornflakes and not sleeping. The corn was symbolic to Cain. Jack goes through all he did and has cookie cereal which is just his sweet tooth. But he had foreign grace implanted in him, and also is tapping a lil bit of his soul to be alive, meaning he's in a weird power situation and we don't know what's up with him at all. TFW are very much like "upright and not coughing blood is good enough for us", especially when with magic involved it's not like they might have an actual science explanation ever come their way.

Jack sitting in the dark is obviously symbolic of hiding things, his cookie cereal is disapproved of and a guilty secret from Sam in the first place, he's consuming something - willingly - that's bad for him and will rot him right after the sweet sweet probably not Gabriel grace he ingested 2 episodes ago, and added all up makes a secret - and he and Cas of course share Cas's deal secret so it's not like Cas can go stomping around complaining to the other dads what he found Jack doing without Jack being like yeah well guess what CAS did.

It's sure a fun way to parallel the beginning of Dean's dark dark arc and Jack's sugary sweet dark arc.

Dean: kid if you are going to sit in the kitchen at weird hours and eat cereal, at least self-flagellate a little *slams the box of cornflakes down in front of him.*

Jack also is wearing a lot of red lately.

Though his new jacket is santa-coloured not like... Mark of Cain doom blood death coloured like demon!Dean's infamous red shirt.

He's currently wearing Cas-coloured shoes and sitting in Dean's spot from 9x13 aka the iconic cornflakes scene in question.

"If you can't sleep, that's understandable, given recent events." "You mean dying and coming back to life."

Cas has been around the humans too long. He talks in euphemisms and gets called out by his too-literal son.

The tables turn.

Oh Jack... so full of worries about Heaven and if his mom is safe, and making Cas confront that nothing is perfect, even Heaven, and have to say it out loud because he can't lie to Jack and sugarcoat this.

Reminds me of 13x06 where he had to tell Jack that yeah sorry not all angels are perfect either. Sweet lil foetus!Jack sure picked the correct angel to be his guardian.

Naomi is "complicated"

Cas. Hon. *hands him a blanket and a bowl of cereal*

OH MY GOD Jack calling him out on why can't Sam and Dean know about the deal.

Having Jack around is so much a breath of fresh air that Cas is starting to regret ever kidnapping him in 12x19.

"They CAN I just don't WANT them to know" CAS. You've been forced to Verbalise A Thing Using The Correct Language. I am giving you an entire gold star. TWO GOLD STARS. I'm drawing a smilie face on them.

Jack is upset that Cas made the deal for him: "they don't need that burden. you don't need that burden" "of course I do. You did that, for ME" - the ole season 2 Dean thing, where it took until 2x08 to know for sure what John did and it basically killed Dean 3 times over and he was a Mess. Not knowing but not having all the answers and being worried/suspicious about what's up with the neat circumstances of being alive again is hooorrible. And this is calling out the whole Winchester cycle of sacrifice (conveniently now with us knowing that John will be dropping by for an episode to really hammer the point home) by addressing how Jack now has to carry the burden of knowing that Cas did that for him.

Cas is like, "Yeah don't worry I haven't been happy in all of Creation." Jack looks earnestly at him. "I'm sorry."

Cas diverts to eating the gross cereal, which he apparently also secretly indulges in, or else, as Mittens pointed out to me, Dean does too and either way Cas is being gross and adorable and hanging out with his kid and this is horrible I hate it oh god it's more sickly sweet than the cereal they're eating.

Garth hiding in the kitchen to panic and phone mom to get him from the party.

"THIS ISN'T YOUR MOM, GARTH, THIS IS AN ARCHANGEL"

And he's just learned to say "balls" appropriately too.

Sam immediately gets The Guilts because he's being leaderly and losing Garth would be his first major blow as a leader oh god oh god no oh Sammy oh GARTH I can't handle this.

Berens sure is invested in the leader!Sam stuff and telling this story long before anyone else was and had his minion Glynn tease us with Maggie earlier in the season D:

I'm calling mom to get me from the party

"It's Ketch" Sam raises his eyebrows like "I forgot he was in this season"

Does that mean Ketch skyped Cas first

that's hilarious all by itself

He has tea because of course he does

Oh my god he's skyping with Jack. Are they buds? HAS HE ADOPTED JACK?

Honestly of all the characters in the entire show he's probably resisted longest so far when it comes to adopting Jack if they ever met even briefly in Apocalypse World.

This is how you can tell he's the worst :P Rowena "I will never love again" MacLeod took all of 20 seconds to adopt Jack.

He's been in England for like a week and his accent is 100x more hammy. "ExPRopriATE"

He's rolling his Rs. I mean. Is that even in our accent? Not in mine.

Jack watching attentively while he tells his story with no judgement forthcoming, just pure interest in what Ketch says... good thing Ketch is too self-centred on his tale of derring-do or he might find Jack's sweet interest flattering and begin wondering if he has it in himself to be fatherly.

I'm suddenly legitimately interested in the unstoppable force of Jack's adoptability vs the immovable object of Ketch's ego.

He posted it. Around Christmas. Look I'm friends with a postie and she's hucking around a bag as big as herself.

Maybe he put a ribbon on it.

From BUDAPEST. Paying extra really is gonna speed THAT up

"Where is our weapon?" "It's been sitting in Guam for a week. I don't understand. Why is it in Guam?"

TFW all react with snark, side-eyes or despair at Ketch, and 2.0 doesn't even get a reaction because I don't think Jack understands how dumbass Ketch is because he's too smol to have fought the mail :P

"We appreciate the effort" "DO WE?"

Cas is staring into the void, meanwhile. Internally, "Well at least I can be sure I'm not going to worry about allowing myself to be happy any time THIS month"

Oh, sweet! The laptop is set up right next to Britain on the map table :')

Hey if they have to brave the post office to get the egg, they can find out Harper is still stalking Jack :D

Cas can't even work out which direction to start rolling his eyes, gives up and walks off. Dean gestures the screen, look what you made him do! You asshole!

"Only thing that can take him down now is the full Ichabod" "?" *gestures decapitation* "oh."

Poor Garth. Werewolves really are the worst. I can see why you were so upset about being turned.

Remember when Sam described him as an "ichabod crane alike" or something, I think in 9x12 when asking at the hospital about him? Maybe? I swear to god that might be a less subtle hint Garth is going to die than Charlie's "merry christmas"

Garth honey nooo

I'm pretty sure we saw Michael mind-controlling the werewolf in the cold open which means we're in for SOME sort of drama next

Oh good Cas is back, I guess he went to scream outside.

"Oh it would have made it if it wasn't closed for the holidays" Sam is being so withering I hope Ketch can feel it from Budapest.

Garth you are going to get in so much trouble and I'm so scared for you and your family at Christmas

At least in this scene Dean n Cas are playing footsie under the table if nothing else.

With Michael holed up in a towerblock for Christmas I am so worried that I should have watched Die Hard before getting here.

D'aw Dean teams himself up with Cas without even hesitating.

Holy shit they used a season 1 clip of the Impala driving past a field of cows.

"Hi we shot this for 1x06 it's practically an easter egg now"

God, it's the promo scene and we're 16 minutes in.

Not over Cas being like "you're happy" because he can't be happy but he's seeing Dean being, you know, cheerful. It's worrying because it's so close to endgame... if they kill Michael, Dean can be happy. And if Dean can be happy...

bye bye Cas

It's so easy with Dean looking away for Cas's silence to be "lol never" instead of "I ought to tell you the string that is attached"

*quietly climbs into the garbage pile as I think about how neither can be happy while the other is as a literal plot mechanism*

Them leaving the door open seems so significant I thought we were going to see Bad!Kaia comically hiding behind it

Awwwwww Jack wants to break into his first building with lock picks!!

I can't believe they're doing this in broad daylight.

I can't believe there was a Gish item to go to a post office after hours dressed as Santa's elves and that's what Jack is doing with that coat

"Who taught you to pick a lock?" "I did. And the internet"

Sam's "that's my boy" face.

"I wanted to stay useful"

that was your cue to tell Jack he's useful regardless

On the other hand he got the door opened and smiled up at Sam so I guess he gets the validation that way instead.

"HAPPY Holidays" Jack is SO PLEASED the box is saying something nice.

BOOM you have witnessed, once again, Sam being knocked out.

Wow, no. His skull is getting thicker, he manages to cling on long enough to watch his boy being abducted.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, SAM.

Awww Michael came to oversee it. HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Michael!

Sam is way too concussed to deal with this. Or drive.

Michael has a really similar coat to what he had in the AU but for a fancy rich lady instead of a badass hot cowboy which really begs the question of why he dressed SO SO OTT for Dean, even given his fashionista tastes for the other 2 vessels we've seen.

I am sad we don't have the other Michael vessel just because he's off making out with Constantine on Legends of Tomorrow (meta textuality of THAT to be unpacked by fandom at length :P), but she's an absolutely uncanny female double for him with the coat and the ominous camera angles and her general scary vibe.

"You're going to kill me anyway" *MOOSE CHARGE*

I stan one concussed boy

Blorp

No fancy weapons for you guys, use your heads.

Not Sam's head, he's just taken his 3rd hit in a minute.

Garth gets caught snitching though I suspect Michael knew he was listening in and sent Dean to get attacked by Bad!Kaia anyways.

There's chess being played here.

Er, and you're the pawns.

I think Dean is the other player and everyone ELSE is a pawn in Michael's reckoning.

"WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Kaia, they just shouted like 20 minutes of the plot so far at each other, you know as much as we do at this point.

I love Kaia's fighting stance but oh my GOD Dean walking up to the spear and having it put against his heart. He knows it's a power move but it's also a gentle one, and he's waved enough guns in her face and our Kaia's face... This is one of those moves you use both on frightened animals and also to show you are a good unarmed nice guy and it's an attempt to re-negotiate after all he's done to Kaias over time >.>

"if you're not going to give it to me, kill me" Dean says, at the end of his big emotional appeal to Family And Saving People as his divine guiding forces in the universe by which he sets his moral compass and acts as the best version of himself in the defence of.

Cas behind him like "I hope this works because I love this dumbass and if you ACTUALLY kill him I'm contractually obligated to murder you so like, pls don't escalate this"

"How do I know if you're telling the truth" well he's not so jot that down.

Cas like "can you please stop talking, Dean, I am not agreeing with any of your policies here" because not only did he drag Jack into it, he made a promise that Jack's completely unable to uphold since he, you know, doesn't have the power to get Kaia home any more.

Poor Bad!Kaia though. Spent her life running from monsters too. She and our Kaia have the same trama, but she's so hardened by it :(

"If you don't bring this back to me I will find you and kill you"

Yikes, magic weapons are having a bad run in these parts, I think Dean's pretty much a gonner :P

I love that the Wayward Sisters music plays around Kaia but it makes me so so so so sad

"So, what, is he playing us?" he's playing YOU Dean. Your move!

"Don't you go in there alone." "I know, drive fast"

Aka concussed bab is gonna go in there alone if you don't hurry.

I have literally no comprehension about the driving times involved in this episode because I don't know US geography like that, but it's Berens not Dabb but he's mentioned specific locations so he better have looked these all up on google maps because this is one heck of a fact checkable episode with 4 distinct known and named locations and you all driving to and fro.

I love Michael's new apartment. It has a dark Heaven aesthetic vibe which is perf.

Jack's here and he's immediately deposited under the halo lights.

I can not WAIT for a Jack vs Michael scene.

*chin hands*

"Why didn't you kill me?" *eyebrow raise*

Poor nougat is being made to feel useless again :( This is Michael grinding his heel into Jack while he has him on the floor, kneeling in supplication under those halo lights.

Michael is into villain monologuing. A terrible, terrible habit.

"Death from above," Michael says, the first time he's had halos over his head.

His concept of soul ownership intrigues me because he would get all the humans who died in an attack on this city in his original world. In this he's turning them into monsters but with his grace, so they belong to him. That means that somehow or other he's probably overriding not just their nature to be controllable by him, which overrides in turn Eve's control over all monsters. She totes isn't dead BTW she's just in Purgatory. I'm like 100% sure of it :P Anyway I do wonder if Michael's control over the monsters extends so far as accidentally granting them passage to Heaven by claiming them and overriding Eve's control. Who knows. The thought wandered by and really tickled me.

Because it's a long game with the real value in people for beings of this level just being in their value as collectibles after death, and season 5 was all about our Michael getting all the souls by killing all the humans and storing them away in Heaven and that was his Paradise he was fighting for. And if he's converting entire cities to monsterhood in order to gain control over the territory in a quiet no mess way, then his control and command of them is passed on through the bite thanks to whatever he did to them. At the very least he's managed to make himself into their new Alpha.

I mean unless this is a phase one and he's sacrificing getting the souls of these lot in exchange for a lot more souls down the line.

LOL Michael pulls "I'm your only kin" and Jack's like, uh, REAL Michael is in the cage, POSER.

I love how Jack's got the such simplistic child language of "I hate you" which comes out so honestly and fiercely. Jack's 1 layer personality is reaaally deep even if it is mostly 1 layer. A very very thick slab of nougat. Full of goodness. It's EXCELLENT character writing to balance a character like this. He has a good understanding of the world by now, evidenced by very clearly being able to distinguish AU!Michael from his living kin of our Michael in the cage, and yet at the same time his emotional range is still 100% whatever he feels about a thing and so for Michael it's hate. Because when kids get upset they can yell "I hate you I hate you!" in a tantrum, and Jack's personality is that but moderated and adult and reasonable, and that... What a good approach to writing a character. Om nom nom.

This vessel is definitely way more expressive than the previous two Michaels, which is something I've noticed in a looot of the vessel gender swaps, which really makes me go sociological on why gesturing and fiddling and so on is so much a part of presence for a female character on screen, while male characters are allowed to stand still and just kind of radiate presence. I mean, she HAS presence, but she's been moving her hands a lot and it's the main detail which makes her not match up as neatly. Jensen threw his whole personality into not moving Michael's arms, to follow on from Christian's portrayal.

I think Raphael's second vessel was menacingly still. That actress did a great job. That slow head turn after they hurl an angel blade at her in 6x22... Nice.

Lisa Berry strikes a nice balance at huge presence and only necessary gestures, and Julian Richings was always fiddling with junk food as Death despite his cosmic presence.

Meg was all in the voice and eyebrows, both actresses.

Why am I musing on this? Because it's 7am and I'm having a wave of immense sleepiness and I think I need tea to keep on watching but it's cold so I'd rather stay bundled in blankets >.>

... I have now turned on the heating and got tea and done some stretches to try and ward off the cold-blooded lizard stupor I was sliding into. Brrr. We get Christmas break on episodes because it's so hard to watch in the cold.

"Our relation is more a matter of scale, power." Ooohohohooo but you just said you weren't killing Jack because he was powerless.

I mean I'm crowing at Michael for maybe revealing a flaw in his monologue to me but at the same time that's terrifying for what he plans for Jack because that presumably involves powering back up but under HIS control. Nephew theft.

I say smugly having posted Jack being kidnapped by Michael in Andrea's Diner for his power/money last week so that I can just ride this one out with a "in before this plotline" raised eyebrow.

I mean I was using a hybrid season 8/14 set up with Naomi still being Michael's flunky but the important thing is that he was trapped in an office in a towerblock which may or may not now be exactly this one since I have eyes on it and Michael was gonna do whatever it took to get Jack's share of the company until Cas marched in and saved the boy.

Yeah my diner AU has corporate drama, deal with it.

NOW we're getting to the epic speeches. The time that makes mountains. Epic. And Michael is like hey you and me are the only ones left... And as your power returns and grows, we'll only become more alike. Cut to Jack being HORRIFIED by the concept of becoming anything like his AUncle and losing his human compassion and turning into this evil being that cheerfully talks about how not only to level cities but to improve on the concept.

Finally, we hit the epic tragedy level of Jack's story he's been hiding from in other genres from disney to rom coms to cute twee Christmas movies and even a detour into 1800s consumptive child drama to avoid it. But Hamlet's procrastination has to be challenged occasionally, and so they're face to face and Michael is taunting Jack with how he might be cute as a nougaty 2 year old but oh dear the terrible 2s are nothing to the terrible 2 billionties.

I think this room even has Heaven's furniture, as a riff on it. What's one world to another? One Heaven from another, as Michael says. Find a head office, treat it like a place of power and intimidation and it becomes one.

All Jack says is "Sam, Dean and Castiel. They'll come for me." Because he doesn't know much but in his 2 years he HAS learned who fights for him and considers him family, and who he will really set his morality by.

Of course if Cas ever allows himself to be happy, then ALL of Jack's family has an expiration date and no one can follow him through those eons to stop him straying.

Also: now eternity has a sense of horror to it. The reminder that immortality is awful and this is what it does to ancient eldritch beings. And as a result, that finite humanity may be better when it doesn't come at the cost of erosion of self.

To thine own self be true, to quote a terribly mis-used part of Hamlet and yeah yeah I studied it I know Polonius said that and it's meant to be a ridiculed line. But it's still emotionally relevant >.>

Jack's fierce sense of self and family is his only weapon here. Michael can't cast doubt on that. Maybe fear for the future, but in the immediate presence, Jack has a ROCK.

That red coat also makes him very distinctively the only real colour in the room.

Michael is wearing dark blue for the red vs blue coding, but it's dark enough to not stand out in the decor.

TFW are all wearing brown and tan.

I'm actually quite fond of this stupid jock werewolf.

Awkward silences with jingle bells in the background... why are they making werewolves inherently comical in Dabb era, I don't know. But I LOVE it.

RIP the sexy werewolf.

Dumb jock werewolf has already run off, which MAY be a reminder to panic about all the monsters in position, or he might get stopped on the way by TFW in a strategic position...

RIP other sexy werewolf.

Both, sadly, as hot as they were, die with amusing riffs of jingle bells to accompany their decapitations. No dignity in death for these fuckers.

Sam may or may not be doing a Red Meat by taking them on alone but he sure is in a better position with only a mild concussion leftover from the earlier attack rather than, you know, a barely-treated gut shot.

Man I hope Cas healed up the residual damage of that before the end of season 11.

Sam is indeed alone as he promised not to be while 100% intending to rush right in, which means that dumb jock werewolf did indeed run off into the city, which means that with 10 minutes left a whoops we let Kansas City turn into monsters cliffhanger might be a lark.

Merry Christmas everyone but Kansas City.

I mean Sam doesn't need to rush on the Jack rescue, Michael literally has eons of AUncle-nephew bonding planned.

The fact Alex has visible chicken pox scars on his forehead amuses me so much. While Jack fast-track grew in 12x23 he randomly inflicted the pox on himself as part of the childhood experience. Like, oh, I better get all my immunity from mom so when my 3 dads collectively fail to get me vaccinated at least I've got that. *boop* chicken pox scars appear.

S'gonna be Garth on the other side of that door

OH NO IT IS

Oh no Sam, it's a trap, he's gonna eat you. Oh no oh no you can't cut Garth's head off. He's a Beloved Sweetie Pie.

If this ends with watching Mr Fizzles get a hunter funeral I am sending Bobo a mountain of coal for Christmas.

Love that universal trope of the werewolf ducking away for an embarrassing uncontrolled transformation that looks somewhere between puking and period cramps. Moonsickness.

Michael is the moon controlling it in this case.

Cosmic bodies.

Don't touch him, Jack!!

Transformations with glowy eyes suck :<

This is just CRUEL to make Garth be like "I'm sorryyyyy" as he charges at Sam.

LOL THIS IS A CRYPT SCENE. He's in Garth's head!

"You don't have to do this!" "You can fight this, Garth!"

Me, staring at my mess of red string connecting crypt scenes: How did I get to Garth wolfing out while shouting apologies at Sam and Sam begging him to stop when this all started with Dean n Cas fighting over a lump of rock 6 seasons ago

Oh thank god they ended it with Sam vulcan neck pinching Garth to sleep after Jack took a rolling tackle at him and Garth ends up still controlled and shoved in the back of the car for later problems.

We'll file this under the failures section between bros and move on though I won't deny Berens had me in a cold sweat that I was going to have to throw years of work out because Sam would grab Mr Fizzles out of Garth's pocket and soothe him back to himself :P

Mr Fizzles x Garth as the Destiel parallel of the year

"Thanks for waiting for us," Dean says, angrily gesturing the alive and rescued Jack while uselessly holding the spear.

It's okay baby there's 7 minutes left and Cas still doesn't have fake blood all over him.

I think Mikey might come back around to gloat. He strikes me as the supervillain type to do that.

They figure out the last few chess moves that Michael made while sitting on the trunk that Garth is locked in. Rough.

In the background, Cas strides over to the brooding Jack.

Boop.

"I wouldn't bet against us."

In Which Dean Nearly Decapitates His Brother

Rousing family speech about no odds or element of surprise or fear from Michael, and they go dramatically walking off towards the elevator with blaring Christmas music.

I hate this

Everyone has a weapon except Jack, who just has a series of incomprehensible troubled looks every time anything happens.

The Boy Is Concerned. But is it about what's going on around him, or inner turmoil disrupting his nougaty centre?

He looks placid again during the dramatic walk, while everyone else has their hero faces, he's surrounded by his dads so he can just be like :3 and enjoy the adventure.

Michael is bored and pacing because they took too long having broments downstairs and walking slowly towards the elevator and he wants to do this great dramatic turn when they arrive but the elevator is craaaaaaawling up the building.

Fine, what if I'm not by the window but sitting down with my back to them.

Is Michael NERVOUS?

Big talk about being a zillion years old and then getting impatient.

What did Michael just see? Because he lit up his eyes and got a lot more confident...

"There... he... is" he smirks.

Me when Cas

Cas doesn't usually nearly get a killing blow on me, though. Nice move, bud.

HEY, RUDE. DOn'T HURT HIM

I know he just tried to stab you but I'm allowed to yell that. Also stabbing archangels doesn't tend to work on them but whatever :P

Come on Dean, GET HIM. He hurt the bae! And Sam and Jack now! But nowhere near as dramatically!

Ironically if Michael had just had any patience he wouldn't have fallen for being baited into coming to see Cas snooping around his front desk.

OH NOICE THIS IS THE SAME FIGHT WITH MICHAEL AND DARK KAIA BUT DEAN AND MICHAEL

Ow, Dean not doing so well after all.

Is that Sam or Jack inching a hand towards the spear. If Sam stabs Michael then it's a thanks in return for stabbing Lucifer. If Jack does... Badass, kid needs a big kill.

On the other hand, we're so near cliffhanger time territory that.. well.

Nope, Sam just did the slide a weapon back to Dean thing and Dean got in a hit on Michael in their duel.

Same arm he got stabbed on.

"trust me, that's gonna leave a scar"

Jack I hope you are paying attention to Dad no.3's use of one-liners because he is a master.

When he isn't, like, "you're the shortbus, shortbus."

UHOH Michael is standing with aaaaaall the haloes reflected behind him in the window and Dean is having Suspicious Killing Hesitation

aaaand there's the whooshy vision wow what a surprise

I KNEW IT WAS COMING AS SOON AS MICHAEL'S SHOULDERS WENT ALL CONFIDENT AND HE STARTED STARING AND I'M STILL UPSET.

I mean I knew it was coming as soon as Dean stumbled in like ??? I'm not Michael???

But in the short term, argh.

WHAT IS THIS BAR

It has a moose head, Jo's shooting game from the Roadhouse, and the old jukebox from 4x01's diner where Sam and Ruby hung out.

Aside from anything else this is a horrible ploy by Michael to get the spear.

WHEN DID MICHAEL BARTEND.

I am so intrigued.

But yeah, checkmate, Dean Winchester. Snapped your magic spear and melted to magic egg. What next?

Oh good and now he has the halos behind his head :< :< :< :<

Wanek I am so angry. You get coal too.

LOL Michael giving them a lesson on maaaaaaaybe asking important questions about things instead of just leaving them as soon as a character appears to be functioning on the surface, I type with this paused with Jack in the corner of my screen as a fortuitous example

Michael gloating about breaking Dean is the worst Christmas cliffhanger. I hate you Bobo.

You aren't seriously going to end the season on a snap and make us make Michael is Thanos jokes all hiatus? I mean he already fucked up one planet, decimating it in the name of a better world. Please. Don't do this, Bobo.

He did it.

Reminds me of the end of 3x10 as well, with demon!Dean lurking under Dean, waiting until before the credits to snap his fingers from within Dean's subconscious to remind us he was lurking and waiting.

Aw man this sucks.

Now Jack has to murder Dean after all.

#14x09 #season 14 spoilers #berens fanclub #my stuff

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halfofxerxes · 5 years

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Magelight had such a gentle glow to it, the washed out hues softening the edges of the world. The pair of infants he was bringing to his fathers were glad for the attention he was giving them. Such happy babies.

Alphonse doesn't know if he could part with them, but he can't imagine how he could stay with them either. Van… Sil… They'll know what to do, he's sure of it. He wants his dad more now than ever, and the calm reliable Mer as well.

He knows if he could just focus he'd be able to contact Sil and have the mage take him home to them, but that's the issue isn't it? Having to be able to set aside his notions and think of Sil as divinity rather than a friend.

If only he hadn't been so careless, he'd still have that magical communicator. For all his bravo and experience, to end up in a situation like this?

"Are you still holding out hope that someone will save you, Alphonse?"

The words, whispered in a too familiar tone of voice, cause his chest to tighten in fear. He extinguishes the magelight, already knowing what will come next if he doesn't.

He has a long way to go when sunfall comes tonight, and he can't have any delays. The babes hate the dark, their thin wailing echoing off the cave walls, despite his best attempts to sooth them. He hates this just as much as they do, and he knows they're going to be better off in the arms of his father. Without a coward who can't look at their faces.

Soon his words pass from him, and he can do nothing more than rock the children in his grasp, before that too fades, leaving him stranded back in an old, dead world.

"That's the thing about insects." He remembers saying, "Once you wipe them out, everything dies. You should have seen this coming."

The Homunculus had scoffed at him then, before coming to sit down by him. For all his aloof and controlling attitude, Alphonse knew that he wanted company. Misery, that's the name he had taken to calling him. All the other homunculi had names based on sins and vices, why not the father?

"Do you really believe you're above this?" Misery had asked, "You're stuck here on this planet just as much as I, except I shall find a way off, and out into those stars."

Alphonse turned his head, looking out into the glittering expanse that Misery indicates. They often sat here, in the ruins of the center of Amestris, the place where Misery had triumphed. It had rotted, long since overtaken by plants and forest, only to fade out and die as Misery consumed more and more of the life around him.

He supposes he'll have to be content to watch the lights blink out one by one as Misery continued to find solace for his grief. Van Hohenheim hasn't come back for either of them, though as long as Alphonse kept his head, he still believed his father would. It was the only thing left after all.

"Decay is preposterous." Misery said, upset that he didn't get a response. "I was foolish, I should have tried harder to keep things as they were. You were so much more fun when I had you running mazes."

Mazes built of rotting corpses, puppeteered by the reach of the Homunculus… dancing, dancing, dancing themselves to dust, their flesh dripping off their bones. A celebration to their new God, writhing like worms.

"You got bored." Alphonse reminded him, "I warned you it would happen."

"You could at least have given me a speech about how I would never break your spirit or enslave you." Misery liked going on about this, this was a conversation they had many times, though Alphonse never replied. "Your brother would have done it, and I could have spent millennia proving him wrong."

"My father was a slave." He had said, finally breaking his silence on the topic, looking down at the ground, "There's no shame it, by its nature it's not something you can control. The only embarrassment I feel is that I cannot slit your throat while you sleep and expect you to die."

"And what? Leave yourself alone with no one to turn to or talk to?" Misery spits at him, though Alphonse doesn't flinch.

"I've never been alone." He says quietly, "Not truly. The skill of language and how to use it is the only thing keeping me here, but you gave me all the company I need."

"Yes, he does keep you company in your nightmares, doesn't he." Misery snaps spitefully, pulling on Alphonse's hair.

It takes him a long moment to recognise the pull as his magical alert for sundown, rather than that ancient foe. He was lucky, that wasn't a bad episode. Somehow, he's sure of it, but the Homunculus has somehow been attacking him-- how else… why else would--

"No, focus." He whispers to himself, shaking himself awake fully as he feels around in the dark to get the babies ready for journey, "C'mon Alphonse, don't think about it."

He could make it home tonight as long as he could get going now. Having to stop every two hours to feed and change the infants was inevitable, they were helpless after all. The light of the moons was gentle, and Alphonse was glad for it. He knows the children are glad for it as well, their fussing fading as he emerges from the cave.

It's better this way, though he misses the face of the sun. Traveling at night was better. For many reasons. No sunburns, not having to stop and cool down… not having to look at the color of their eyes.

The edge of the woods is a familiar sight, one he's grateful beyond words for. It's been too long. Instead of pressing inward, he waits. Worldy had been assigned breakfast duty a long time ago, and often would be out sniffing for mushrooms around dawn. The old nix-hound delighted in being the first one find him, and it would be…. Better… if the babes were brought back with the hound, rather than with Alphonse.

Finding a log full of edible fungus, Alphonse sits down and waits, preparing a basket that the hound could hold onto while it ran home. Sure enough, as soon as early morning began to break, the nix comes out from between the trees, chattering softly to itself. On seeing Alphonse, it leaps into the air, intending to crash into him, loudly welcoming him back.

Alphonse quickly sushes it, the nix sliding to a confused stop. He shows it the contents of the basket, the two tiny bundles, and in recognition, Worldy lowers its voice. Sniffing at the basket for a moment, it allows Alphonse to attach it to him, before pointedly looking at the mushrooms.

"Of course, it's only fair." Alphonse says, "I'll bring back enough, I promise. Go take that to Dad."

Worldy nibbles on him in affirmation, before setting off slowly, careful not to jolt its burden. Alphonse knows the creature is as likely to bring it to Sil as much as to present it to Van, but it hardly mattered. He only wished to delay the inevitable conversation.

Best yet, perhaps there need not be a conversation. The assumption might be made that Worldy had brought home abandoned children, and that would be it. It wasn't going to happen, but he wishes it could.

The kitchen is empty when he comes inside, setting down his load of mushrooms and sets to preparing breakfast. His father, just a bit more gray haired today than the last time they saw each other, slips in beside him to help after a few solitary moments. Sil, then, must be watching the new arrivals.

… His father has already seen them.

Al knows Van is waiting for him to speak first. The way that the old man's fingers linger on his every time Al hands him something is reassurance, and a question. Sometimes Al wishes his father would be the type to sit him down and badger him just so he could be over with it.

"Just got back from Morrowind." Alphonse says finally, turning to face the stove to set the fire. "Strange place, that."

"Sil was talking about how someone dropped their orb, he was sure it was Timmy. Apparently it, and his destruction of it has been used as a miracle story and it's been converting people to worship him again." Van says, leaving off the obvious question of 'what the actual fuck were you doing there?'

"...Confiscated… actually. Slavers, though I dismantled that operation." Which could mean any thing from him destroying ships or killing people, and he's not going to comment on which one it was. "By that time, I was already there, so I decided to take a look around."

"Did a little more than just looking." Van replies quietly, "Dunmer twins don't just show up in the woods."

Alphonse doesn't say anything to that, lowering his head for a few seconds, before standing up. He knows his father isn't judging him, but it still feels like he's failed. All he's done in his life is fail when it's important that he doesn't.

"They look like Edward." Al says finally. "I can't look at them without seeing him."

It's the closest he's ever gotten to speaking about what happened to his brother, after Van was sent away. He feels foolish for it, arms coming to cross over his chest. After a moment, his father's arms are around him as well, pulling him into a hug.

Whatever happens, he can't tell Dad about that. Van already blames himself for so much of the Dwarf's actions, he can't lay that at his feet. Not when Alphonse had no assurance it would release any of the burden he felt.

"If you're okay with having us take care of them, you know we will." Van tells him, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "It makes me sad that you feel like you must."

He sniffles slightly, attempting to hold back the emotions in an attempt to stay on his feet. The worst thing was how easily his body could succumb to despair, even if he was grateful to display it in tears.

"I suppose I expected time to soften it." Alphonse admits, "But it just makes it hurt all the more the longer I don't think of it, and it returns."

"You need to let yourself grieve." His father says, voice so soft Alphonse mistakes it for his own thoughts, "And part of that is talking about the things you're hurting over."

"I… can't." His father may be right, but the potential for damage outweighed the good. "I'm sorry Dad. If you knew, you'd understand why."

"I'm sure I would."

Van's acceptance of it doesn't make him feel better. After a moment, Alphonse moves away from his dad, turning back to breakfast. His fingers fumble around the shape of an egg, sending it to the floor. His father catches it before it breaks, returning it to him.

Where was this man before he and Edward attempted to bring Mom back? Where was he when she died? Why did he leave him for so long in the grip of that disgusting beast?

"The Homunculus kept Brother's body fresh for… I don't know how long. Too long." Alphonse says, egg broken in his grip. "His skin never looked right, to make it move the Dwarf had to put part of himself in it."

Grayish blue, talking and laughing at him with golden eyes that didn't see. Making him fight, not allowing him to win.

"...For all my knowledge of alchemy, everything I learned, the only thing that ended it was time…"

Purification, starting, ironically, at the joints and sockets of the automail implants. Then the stab wound Edward had endured had opened up and would not seal.

"He hated that more than anything. Knowing that he couldn't stop it."

Alphonse barely registers the fact that his father is wiping his hand clean, only seeing maggots and flies feasting on his brother's body. The earth reclaiming its final champion despite the Dwarf's efforts.

In a last act of spite, Alphonse remebers waking up face to face with, and covered in Edward's rot. Finally getting to destroy the body before the Dwarf could pull it away.

"I can't look at them." He says finally, shaking himself, "I can't look at them without seeing him. Like that."

Beautiful, lovely golden eyes. Like fire and sunset. They're his eyes, he knows that, but set into the skin of the dunmer… All he can see is his brother, nothing more.

A curse.

#v. rusted worlds #drabble #READ THE TAGS BEFORE CLICKING #1. long post.#2. THIS HAS GORE IN IT #....not as much as i was expecting but THERE IS GORE.#death and dead bodies are mentioned a lot #moving corpses are featured (looking at you Bun)#also Krys if anything i mentioned in the tags means you don't want to read this but you want to know the tldr #feel free to shoot me a message #but okay go #good luck reading this

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revlyncox · 6 years

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Sowing and Reaping

This sermon was delivered to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Silver Spring by Rev. Lyn Cox on August 5, 2018. In it, we explore covenant, the Pagan holiday of Lammas, and the wisdom of Ms. Frizzle. This worship services launches a one-year interim ministry.

Blessed is the earth, which brings forth food for all that lives. Blessed is the rain, flowing with the water of life. Blessed is the sun, which calls to grow and which speeds our return to the earth. Blessed is the wind that carries the seed and the mist, the warm and the cool, the new and the returned. May we collaborate with and give thanks for the forces that create and uphold life. Blessed be.

I am a clueless gardener. It might be a little bit of an overstatement to say I like gardening. It might be more accurate to say that I find gardening fulfilling, even though I don’t exactly know what I’m doing. I learn spiritual lessons from gardening, mainly about how I am not in control of the universe. Perhaps because I needed to learn that lesson now more than ever, I made an ambitious plan for this year’s garden. Starting in February, I made lists of plants and I used graph paper to map out how I hoped the garden would look.

Around May 1, my kids and my partner came home from a Department of Agriculture educational event with tomato seedlings in medium-size containers, around which they had planted spinach, beans, peas, and sunflowers. My kids had great luck, and soon we had little plants ready to be put into the ground. The spinach couldn’t make the transition, but the other plants looked promising. I re-drew my maps.

Under the general category of “I am not in control of the universe,” I have learned a few corollary lessons so far this summer. Lesson One: squirrels love tomatoes. In past years, when I grew cherry tomatoes, I could harvest some before they were snatched up. This year’s crop of lovely, disease-resistant, full-sized heirloom tomatoes proved to be irresistible to our local furry friends. Lesson Two: When you let children plant seeds, they will definitely put more than one seed in every hole. What I thought would be three sunflower seedlings turned into six tall, lovely sunflowers. There were seven, but squirrels like to eat sunflowers almost as much as they love tomatoes. Lesson Three: not all seedlings survive to bear fruit, no matter what you do. The beans had an early crop, then half of the plants died, and the rest needed a month of tender, loving care. All of the pea plants died except one. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope.

In late July, as I was deciding if I wanted to plant again for a late harvest or if I wanted to give up, I was reminded of the old aphorism about planting beans: “Sow four seeds as you make your row: one for the mouse, one for the crow, one to rot, and one to grow.” In other words, plan for uncertainty. Take chances, knowing not everything we try will bear the fruit we hope for. When the odds are slim, increase your tries.

Hearing this rhyme again helped me get out of the trap of, “Why me?” Gardeners and farmers in many times and places had gone through the disappointment of losing bean seedlings. The saying has some variations, such as replacing “mouse” with “cutworm,” “rook,” or “pigeon.” There are many ways for a seed to end up as something other than food for humans. Loss does not always arise from lack of effort or character flaw. Sometimes things just don’t pan out. Sometimes you learn from mishaps. The old rhyme pushed me into an experimental mindset, the ability to try new things, or to try again after failure with the full understanding that there are no guarantees. I planted some new beans and peas, along with some radishes and beets, hoping for a late September harvest.

Moving from a focus on failure to a focus on experimentation also helped me to be grateful for the plants that did survive and grow. Nurture what is working well. Give thanks, because spectacular things do not happen through the will of one person alone. If you saw my post about today’s service on Facebook or Twitter, I included a photo of the very first pea that came to maturity in my garden, one beautiful little pod, turning green and plump against very long odds.

This is the essence of some earth-centered holidays that happens around this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere, this holiday of the first harvest and the high summer tinged with the first glimmers of autumn. Some might call this holiday Lammas, which is a holiday about bread, celebrating the first grains of the season being harvested and threshed and ground. Some might call this holiday Lughnasadh (also spelled Lúnasa), after the god Lugh, a god of craftsmanship and many skills. At Lammas, we practice gratitude, we focus on the blessings we do have, and we realize that the earth itself is a more powerful partner than individual human gardeners in bringing about the abundance of the season. We remember sowing the seeds months ago, and we remember that planting is always a gamble, and we collect seeds from this year to use in the spring. When something bears fruit, we plan to use that experience in the future, we share the credit and the harvest, and we put love and artistry into the further work of transformation.

As it turns out, the spirituality of gardening carries with it some ideas that are echoed in science, education, and congregational life. One of my science education role models is Ms. Frizzle from the book and TV series of the 1990’s, “The Magic School Bus.” If you don’t know Ms. Frizzle, ask your nearest children’s librarian. In every book or episode, her students complete research projects about something like magnetism, the solar system, dinosaurs, or the human digestive system. When the students run into a question they can’t answer, Ms. Frizzle proposes a surprise field trip. “To the bus! Seatbelts, everyone!” The bus mysteriously becomes big or small, or travels through time or outer space, or withstands the conditions of a volcano or a waterfall so that the students are able to make observations and answer their scientific questions. Ms. Frizzle always says, “Take chances! Make mistakes! Get messy!” These three instructions are key for the ability of the class to learn new things and to have fun while learning.

Take chances. Make mistakes. Get messy. You will hear me say these three things again, because they also speak to a congregation’s opportunities during the Interim Ministry period.

Going back to the spiritual insights of Lammas, we learn at this time of year that we had to take chances. Only one out of four bean seeds in the rhyme led to a harvest. Sowing any kind of seed at all, literal or metaphorical, is a gamble. Not everything turns out the way we hope. Indeed, even as we bring in the first fruits, these are risky times. Sudden storms that cause the crop to rot or drought that invites wildfire are both real possibilities in August. Our inability to control the universe does not mean we are bad or lazy or incomplete. Living life to the fullest, learning and growing, requires a certain degree of risk.

In spiritual community, especially during the golden opportunity of an Interim year, we take chances together. We experiment with new ways of understanding the world, with different ways of worshipping and of doing church. We take the risk of speaking the truth with love. Take chances.

Make mistakes. Ms. Frizzle reminds us that the scientific method involves making a hypothesis and testing it. If we guess right every time, science doesn’t advance as quickly. We have to be willing to be wrong sometimes, and to admit we were wrong so that we can get to the juicy, exciting part of the learning process. We are human beings and we are fallible. Our tendency to make mistakes does not and should not cut us off from human community or from the traditions of spiritual growth or from the disciplines of science and craftsmanship. Humans are welcome in community, broken and whole, flawed and fabulous.

Lugh, the god who is celebrated at Lughnasadh (Lúnasa), is a character of many skills. He’s a warrior and a wheelwright, he’s a musician, he’s an athlete. Even mythical characters have to practice. Getting better at anything, from blacksmithing to gardening to being human, means we have to start out not being very good at it. Fail spectacularly. Fail with gusto. Fail better, and keep learning.

I tried growing beans and peas, and I mostly failed for the first harvest. Some part of that was due to random chance, but another part helped me learn about drainage, pest control, and planting more seeds than I think I am going to need for my crop. We’ll see how the second harvest goes. When I remembered that it’s OK to make mistakes, I was able to celebrate what I had and use what I learned rather than dwell on failure. Make mistakes.

Get messy! Farming involves getting covered with dirt, and sometimes covered in things more specific than dirt. Science education can lead to all kinds of messes, from vinegar and baking soda reactions to rock collections to close observations of living things. The abundance of Lammas puts us knee deep in flour, or the gluten-free grain of your choice. In the middle of a chaotic rush to bring the harvest home, we pay more attention to what we are doing together than on looking neat and pristine or on creating the illusion of having everything together.

In spiritual community, we get messy by being vulnerable and by accepting the range of wisdom and experience and emotion that our companions bring to community. An inclusive community welcomes all people, but not all behaviors. Figuring out how to be together, setting boundaries to help the congregation to be a place of courage and growth, is not easy. This is the art of covenant. Communities where people are authentic are complicated and difficult and heartbreaking and annoying and surprisingly joyful. Get messy.

This Lammas, let us give thanks. Let us remember the risks and acknowledge the losses, yet let us focus on gratitude and abundance. Fail better, and increase tries. This Lughnasadh (Lúnasa), let us celebrate the skills within us and among us, and let us commit to the love and artistry of living in community. As we bring in the first fruits of this new church year together, let us commit to a path of spiritual growth, lifelong learning, diverse and welcoming community, justice, and compassion. To stay on that path, let us take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.

So be it. Blessed be. Amen.

#Unitarian Universalism #lammas #lughnasadh #uu

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kittykatknits · 7 years

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Should we be worried about Damp Towel getting pregnant? Gods, the for shadowing was laid on thick in this episode. I can't even....... I just need someone to give me another perspective. Thanks.

Oh, dear. I’m not sure what to say. I pretty much checked out this season once the wight hunt was confirmed as an actual thing. No idea if or when I’ll watch any more. Like, the wall is supposed to be a magic barrier. Remember, Benjen can’t go past it and the wight hand (did this happen in the show, I don’t even remember.) rotted away.

As for Dany, she is not and never has been barren. That is her belief and something many people seem to subscribe too.

This is before she loses her child:

“Yes.” He covered her with silk, though she was burning. “Sleep and grow strong again, Khaleesi. Come back to us.” And then Mirri Maz Duur was there, the maegi, tipping a cup against her lips. She tasted sour milk, and something else, something thick and bitter. Warm liquid ran down her chin.

- Dany IX, GoT

This is Dany in the Dothraki sea:

Just past midday she came upon a bush growing by the stream, its twisted limbs covered with hard green berries. Dany squinted at them suspiciously, then plucked one from a branch and nibbled at it. Its flesh was tart and chewy, with a bitter aftertaste that seemed familiar to her. “In the khalasar, they used berries like these to flavor roasts,” she decided. Saying it aloud made her more certain of it. Her belly rumbled, and Dany found herself picking berries with both hands and tossing them into her mouth.An hour later, her stomach began to cramp so badly that she could not go on.

- Dany X, DoD

The relevant part is highlighted. MMD gave her an abortificant, made with those green berries she ate in Dance. Dany decided they reminded her of flavored roasts, that doesn’t mean it is true. Also, notice that the miscarriage began only a single hour after she ate those berries.

One more thing to point out, in the show, MMD gives Dany her “curse”. The first part of it is about a character that no longer exists in the show. We aren’t going to have a sun that rises in the west and sets in the east. Season one came out before D&D had their infamous sit down with Martin on how everything ends. Not really sure what to make of it.

As for Jon, we have this dream sequence in Storm:

When the dreams took him, he found himself back home once more, splashing in the hot pools beneath a huge white weirwood that had his father’s face. Ygritte was with him, laughing at him, shedding her skins till she was naked as her name day, trying to kiss him, but he couldn’t, not with his father watching. He was the blood of Winterfell, a man of the Night’s Watch. I will not father a bastard, he told her. I will not. I will not. “You know nothing, Jon Snow,” she whispered, her skin dissolving in the hot water, the flesh beneath sloughing off her bones until only skull and skeleton remained, and the pool bubbled thick and red.

- Jon XI, Sos

Notice the careful placement of words there in his dream. It could be foreshadowing, it could be not.

I stand by my earlier statements, Dany will be dead by series end, Sansa will be very much alive. As for Jon, he’s a straight up mono myth hero, he’s not particularly unique in that regard.

I have some theories on what is likely to happen based upon all of the above. I can tell you it does not end with both Jon and Dany, a happy family with them ruling and/or living somewhere. I do have thoughts on the potential baby and how it could play into the story along with what it would mean to Jon/Sansa as characters.

If you want to know, I’ll type it up. But, I’ll warn you, it runs contrary (not in the way many might be thinking) to what has been crossing my dash.

So so sorry, this is probably not what you were asking for. I can offer hope, a dream of spring, but maybe not the certainty you were looking for. Send another ask and I’ll rip the band aid off for you.

I tagged this jon x sansa cause I am alluding to their potential endgame as a couple. I’ll remove it if this post bothers people.

#asks #feel free to ask #feel free to ignore #not gonna tag certain characters #Jon x Sansa

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chill-pill-life · 7 years

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Seventeen going to the Convenience Store

Episode Four: Where Seventeen visits the convenience store because of someone’s hunger.

Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “Wonwoo~”

Wonwoo:

Mingyu: “WONWOO!!!”

Wonwoo: *jumps up from bed in shock* “What now?”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry” *smiles*

Wonwoo: “You’ve got to be kidding me”

Mingyu: “Minghao”

The8: “Shut up and go back to bed”

Mingyu: “No wake up!”

The8: “Go bother someone else”

Mingyu: “I’m hungry let’s go to the convenience store”

The8: “Ask someone else like Wonwoo”

Mingyu: “I did and he didn’t want to”

The8: “Obviously he wouldn’t IT’S 4AM YOU IDIOT”

Mingyu: “FINE you all leave me with no choice then…” *leaves room*

The8: “Finally thank god”

Mingyu: *takes a sip of water*

Mingyu: *clears throat*

Mingyu: “FIREEEEEEEEEEEE!!! FIREEEEEEEEEEE!!! WAKE UP EVERYONE THERE’S A FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”

Mingyu: “COUPS HYUNG YOUR CHILDREN ARE ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “JEONGHAN HYUNG YOUR HAIR IS ON FIREEEEE”

Mingyu: “WOOZI HYUNG YOUR STUDIO IS ON FIREEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “CHAN YOUR MICHAEL JACKSON ALBUMS ARE ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “VERNON YOUR MACBOOK IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “HOSHI HYUNG WOOZI IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JOSHUA HYUNG YOUR GUITARS ARE ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “WONWOO YOUR BEANIE COLLECTION IS ON FIREEEEEE”

Mingyu: “JUN YOUR PASSPORT BACK TO CHINA IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEUNGKWAN JEJU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “SEOKMIN DONKEY KONG IS ON FIREEEEEEE”

Mingyu: “MINGHAO MINGYU IS ON FIREEEEEEEEEEEEE”

Mingyu: *takes a seat on the sofa and waits patiently*

Seventeen: *runs into the living room*

Scoups: “MY CHILDREN ARE YOU ALL ALRIGHT?!”

Jeonghan: “AM I- AM I BALDDDD???! No wait don’t tell me I don’t want to know” *cries*

Dino: “MICHAEL JACKSON MY SPECIAL EDITION ALBUMS DON’T WORRY DINO WILL PROTECT CHU”

Jun: “My passport! My passport! Nooo!! I need it to leave this placeeeee”

Wonwoo: “1 beanie, 2 beanie, 3 beanie, 4 beanie…. WAIT beanie number 5 is missing!!!”

Hoshi: “WOOZI WOOZI WOOZI ARE YOU OUHKAY ERMAGAWD I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE SECRETLY CREPT INTO YOUR ROOM TO SLEEP TONIGHT”

Woozi: “You creep into my room to sleep?!”

Hoshi: “I didn’t say anything”

Vernon: *runs out with a pail of water and pours it on his mac*

Woozi: “Vernon, you know that you just poured a bucket full of water on your perfectly fine Macbook right?”

Vernon:

Vernon: “What?” *realises situation*

Woozi: “Unlike you all, I don’t fall for Mingyu’s dumbass tricks”

Vernon: “Give me a moment while I cry in the corner”

Woozi: “It’s gone bro”

Seungkwan: “HELLO HI OMG MUM I HEARD THAT THERE’S A FIRE IN JEJU ARE U OKAYYY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE’S NO FIRE?”

Joshua: “Is this powder on the floor- perhaps the remains of my guitar?” *welps*

The8: “No, it’s just leftover ramen seasoning that a certain someone forgot to clean last night”

Mingyu: “Minghao, I said I was on FIREEEee! why aren’t you asking if I’m okay??”

The8: “I honestly just came out to watch you get burnt alive but after coming out of my room, I am utterly disappointed”

Scoups: “Hang on someone’s missing! ONE OF MY CHILDREN IS MISSING!”

Scoups: “SEOKMIN! SEOKMIN WHERE ARE YOU?”

DK: “Sleeping”

Mingyu: “But your donkey kong is on fire!”

DK: “UGH I’m so done with you Mingyu, I hope every donkey kong burns to the ground” gasp

Scoups: “Okay so everyone’s fine, there is clearly NO fire, it’s 4 in the morning, what in the name is the meaning of this Kim Mingyu?”

Mingyu: “Mingyu wants food”

Seventeen: “…”

Jeonghan: “So let me get this straight, you woke us up at 4 freaking AM and messed around with my hair getting caught on fire, for food?!?!?!”

The8: “I knew it”

Vernon: “Dude not cool, my macbook got fried” *sobs*

DK: “Great, so donkey kong isn’t on fire, what a nightmare”

Woozi: “I’m going back to bed”

Mingyu: “But Mingyu wants some food” *pouts*

Jun: “Someone hold me back if not I’m gonna hit this tall thing”

Scoups: “Alright, alright. First of all, no violence in this household is allowed, secondly if it was allowed, I am the one who is going to hit this child”

Scoups: “Thirdly, since we’re already up, let’s just go down and get some food”

Mingyu: “YAYYY” *throws confetti in the air*

Dino: “Confetti! Wheeeeee!!” *tries to catch confetti*

Joshua: “Am I the only one who wonders where the confetti came from?”

Jun: “There is no way I’m going down at this time-“

Wonwoo: “I’m a little hungry”

Jun: “LETS GO”

Jeonghan: “Seungcheol, I blame you for spoiling our children”

Joshua: *glares at coups*

Scoups: “What do you mean? Mingyu’s bad habits came from you…”

Jeonghan: “What are you saying, you’re the one who always-“

Mingyu: “I WANT FOOD”

Scoups: “Can’t you see that your parents are arguing?!”

Jeonghan: “Don’t yell at the children!”

Scoups: “URGH”

*at the store*

Mingyu: “This is how heaven must look like”

Seungkwan: “Yeah, if you want to gain like 50 pounds and wear a size 100, going to the emergency ward for a heart attack then yeah sure!”

Dino: “Dino was upset about my albums before but my heart is fluttering, I think I’m in love”

Jun: *stares at chan and stares at the dinosaur crackers and back at chan*

Jun: “Must. Contain. Judgement.”

Dino: *hugs box of dinosaur shaped crackers*

Jeonghan: “Do you want me to buy that for you Dino?”

Dino: *nods like the adorable child he is*

Vernon: “Do they sell Macbooks here?”

Joshua: “No Hansol it’s a convenience store why would they sell Macbooks?”

Joshua: “Frankly, I’m quite happy that your Macbook is gone, it’s been creating a gap between our relationship, now I just need your phone to disappear and it’ll be all good between us”

Vernon: “Hello kind sir, do you perhaps sell Macs?”

Cashier: “Oh, we don’t but down the street there’s a Mac-“

Vernon: “THANK YOU SIR I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR KINDNESS” *runs*

Cashier: “-Mcdonalds…”

Joshua: “So far so great” appearance of evil josh?

Mingyu: “HOLY MOLY WHAT IS THIS?”

Wonwoo: “Chips?”

Hoshi: “It’s called Cheetos gyu, haven’t you tried it before?”

Mingyu: “BUT IT’S ORANGE!”

The8: “It’s just cheese”

Mingyu: “CHEESEEEE”

Mingyu: *opens bag*

Wonwoo: “Erm Mingyu you know that you’re supposed to pay before opening it right?”

Mingyu: “Om nom nom what is this magical taste in my mouth?”

The8: “Don’t over-react Mingyu, it’s just chips covered in oil and artificial flavoured cheese”

Seungkwan: “You forgot to add trans fat”

Mingyu: “But it tastes sho good!” *squeals*

Mingyu: “Minghao can you hold this for me, I need to tie my shoelaces”

The8: “Fine but hurry up”

Cashier: “Did you just open up the chips without paying?!”

Mingyu: “He did it” *points to Minghao*

The8: “WHAT THE FUNK YO”

Cashier: “I’m calling the cops” *takes phone out*

Scoups: “Okay what’s happening now?”

Cashier: “Are these yours?”

Scoups: “Yes they’re my children, that at this point of time I’m seriously considering abandoning, but for now yes they are”

Cashier: “They opened the packet of chips without paying for it, it’s a crime and they can go to jail for it”

Seungkwan: “I predict you’re going to rot in that cell until you’re 30”

The8: “I ain’t going to jail man”

Scoups: “I’m sorry, these kids didn’t know any better, can I just pay for it instead? Please don’t call the cops, we have a music show to do tomorrow and the CEO will flip out if they aren’t there, just tell me how much it is”

Cashier: “Just pay me 50 bucks and we’ll call it even”

Scoups: “50?! What a rip-off!”

Hoshi: “Well there goes your hard-earned money”

The8: “The worst part is… I DIDN’T EVEN DO IT”

Cashier: “What do you mean you didn’t do it, the bag is open and it’s in your hands”

Mingyu: “YEAH MINGHAO HOW COULD YOU! ITS ILLEGAL!”

The8: “WHY I OUTTA-“ *rolls up sleeve* thughao

Scoups: “Boys, don’t fight here!”

Seungkwan: “Pass me that bag of chips hosh, this is getting interesting”

Cashier: “Hello is this the police?”

Scoups: “OKAY SIR HERE’S 50 DOLLARS ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

Cashier: “Sorry, there’s an inflation of price, it’s 100 now”

Scoups: “That is absurd, it’s practically daylight robbery!”

Wonwoo: “Actually hyung, it’s night-time robbery…. because it’s at night…”

Hoshi: “So it’s either we sent Minghao to jail or pay $100? What kind of sick logic is that?”

Seungkwan: “I say we send Minghao to jail and spend the hundred on something else like meat”

The8:“I feel the love y’all”

Cashier: “The address is 62-gil Gangnam-gu, yes the convenience store-“

Scoups: “HERE’S 100!”

Cashier: “Happy New Year children” *kisses the stack of cash*

Hoshi: “There goes our lunch for tomorrow”

Scoups: “WHO DID IT”

Wonwoo: “Wonwoo will not testify”

The8: “I swear hyung its Mingyu”

Mingyu: *shakes head*

The8: “You liar! You almost sent me to JAIL!”

Mingyu: “Okay fine, I opened it. It just looks so yummy I had to eat one”

Scoups: “The CEO gave it to me for us to use wisely and now it’s all gone, you better not make any more trouble or I’m going to seriously consider abandoning you”

Seungkwan: “Don’t forget that he broke Jin Sunbaenim’s display case that day”

Mingyu: “SHHHHH don’t remind him”

Scoups: “Let’s just all go home and get some rest”

*back at the dorm*

Mingyu: *sits on bed and takes out Cheetos packet*

DK: *wakes up*

DK: “What is that crunching sound?”

Mingyu: …

DK: *sniff sniff*

DK: “Is that cheetos I smell?”

Mingyu: “MINE!” *closes packet and hides under blanket*

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palliddata · 7 years

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Game Of Insert Pun Here

By Elizabeth “Esquilax” Lavenza

This isn’t just an article about Season 7. Game of Thrones has had plenty of enduring problems since its inception, and the roots that fully sprouted this year have been festering for quite some time. The series’ obsession with rape isn’t new, for example. And if you’re the type of person who’s mentally rolling out all the justifications for why the show needs to regularly show explicit rape scenes, please remind yourself that the show doesn’t feel the need to show us hideous period-accurate pseudomedieval teeth, so the “they need all the rape because gritty realism!” defense doesn’t hold up. And since I can’t find a good place to slot in the racism issue in the rest of this article, I’m bringing it up here, because it’s yet another gaping wound on the show. The fact that non-white people almost exclusively show up in Game of Thrones to be liberated by the hyperaryan Daenerys is...well, do I even have to go into it? Part of the problem is the show’s overburdened nature: juggling plotlines on two separate continents isn’t easy, and Essos typically ended up left in the lurch, its residents and societies and cultures left unfleshed as essentially Pokémon gyms for Daenerys to beat on her way back home. Since I’m trying to keep this article focused on season seven, I’m not even going to get into the abominable, interminable Dorne story arc, which has been torn apart in plenty of other pieces.

If I had to pick one point where the show jumped the shark, it would have to be when Jon Snow became Jesus. Snow has always been the closest thing to a traditional fantasy hero in the story: handsome, martially and tactically skilled, partially noble, dramatic, and intermittently flawed but overall morally decent. So, if the show was to earn its reputation as dark, subversive, and merciless, knocking him down from this position would have been an obvious place to start, a move that would have shocked the audience in the same manner as Ned Stark’s death. Kill him, take him out of action, reveal him as a hypocrite, there were many options. The writers magically brought him back to life instead, and in doing so they perfectly set the tone of the coming seasons: Jon was The Hero, and even death could not stop him from assuming his place as the heroic savior of a world that we were led to believe was no place for heroic saviors. Even revealing that he secretly isn’t a bastard, and is therefore even more noble-blooded than we assumed (“secret noble heir” being such a contrived and hackneyed fantasy trope that critics were already tearing into it decades ago) couldn’t match up to the betrayal of any sense of actual grittiness or ruthlessness or subversion that was The Resurrection Of Jon. And since then, the show hasn’t exactly kept to its promise of ruthlessness. Sam cured Jorah’s greyscale. Jamie charges towards an angry dragon and comes out more or less unscathed. Jon and his pals embark on a pointless, ill-conceived zombie wrangling mission, and the only casualty is one of three mostly interchangeable dragons (and that doesn’t even get into how badly the “capture a zombie to prove they’re real” subplot abuses time and space to allow characters to teleport around Westeros at speeds dictated solely by the needs of the sloppy writing).

Jon’s messianic turn feeds into the central problem with what Game of Thrones became. Now, the most cliched and simplistic sorts of fantasy tend to present morality and conflict in rather simple terms. A hero or group of heroes, usually of noble birth and gifted with great power by virtue of their noble birth or purity of heart, rise to oppose a generally un-nuanced and uniformly fiendish villain, cheating death and conquering improbable odds to persevere. This was exactly the kind of story Game of Thrones wanted us to think it wasn’t, what with all the gore and sex and corruption and intrigue and major characters dying. But where are we in this season? Jon, Daenerys, and Tyrion are together on Team Good Guy, Cersei has gathered the scum of Westeros on Team Bad Guy (and Jamie has finally left her side, depriving Team Bad Guy of one of its few sympathetic, nuance-providing members), while Scowls McCorpse and his frozen pals round out the conflict with Team Pointless Zombie Murder. Dear god, the zombies. Dany vs. Cersei is a fairly cut and dried “good army vs bad army” brawl, but they can at least add some depth with the tragic factor of the inevitable deaths of the innocent soldiers who just happened, through accident of birth or fortune, to end up on Cersei’s side. The same can’t exactly be said for the zombie conflict, since GoT’s zombies don’t deviate much from the usual fantasy template of mindless monsters the heroes can guiltlessly hack up. Even Sauron, Morgoth, and their orc armies had more motivation than the scowling White Walkers, and they were capable of exercising their power in much more subtle and memorable ways. I genuinely do not understand why “inexplicably evil zombie army” was chosen to be Westeros’ encroaching doom. Surely there were less banal cataclysmic threats than an evil zombie army. It isn’t even a creative zombie army, as indicated by the fact that its most interesting asset, a zombie dragon, is something that Dungeons and Dragons players have been hacking up for decades by now.

Those are some of the major overarching issues, but the show has so many more, all intertwined with each other like an incestuous mangrove of creative laziness. The show’s reluctance to kill off major characters combined with its sexism has given us yet more interminable character focus on Theon, an unlikable, uncompelling sorrow-blob who seems to exists solely to steal narrative attention from more interesting female characters, his toxic presence depriving the genuinely likable Yara of her own character arc just so he can dramatically redeem himself by proclaiming he’ll rescue her after she ends up being needlessly damseled. The union of bad writing and bad acting made Littlefinger’s presence in the seventh season agonizing. Aidan Gillen plays him as Slick McSleaze, World’s Shiftiest Man, to the degree that you have to wonder why literally anyone in Westeros trusts him any more. The show’s terrible writing and plotting sends him into probably his most ridiculous scheme yet, trying to turn the Stark sisters against each other...for no clear benefit that would make it worthwhile for him to antagonize two very powerful, dangerous people who already hate and distrust him. And Tormund, fucking Tormund, living embodiment of the show’s decision to jettison creative merit for GIF-worthy scenelets. Tormund, who shows up at least once an episode so the writers can remind us HEY HE REALLY WANTS TO FUCK BRIENNE, who has turned Brienne’s primary role in the story into “woman who Tormund wants to fuck”, and who magically escapes death by zombie army so he can continually remind us how much he wants to fuck Brienne. The season ends with his fate uncertain, but I do not trust the show’s writers to do the decent thing and kill him off offscreen. Game of Thrones isn’t really doing anything right, other than a few visually spectacular scenes. It’s given up on being in any way a mature and subversive approach to the fantasy genre, but it isn’t even particularly good at being cliched, because even if we accept it as a standard “good vs evil” plot, it remains riddled with bad writing, bad decisions, and myriad plot holes. If you told me a few years ago that the future would see people talking seriously about a big-budget show involving dragons, I would have been cautiously optimistic. I guess the ultimate moral of Game of Thrones is that fantasy fans have to be careful what they wish for.

#Original #Elizabeth Lavenza #Game of Thrones

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