#god why is the formatting so bad. i tried my best but if its hard to read im so sorry

[unar-mage-ddon]

focus group test q&a (and the stuff before it)

i decided to sit down and translate all of 蒼's tweets about the focus group test to have them all in one spot, since i haven't seen them all anywhere. i've also copypasted their exact words in jp so that if anyone who knows more than me wants to double check the wording, you can do that easily (also there's one specific answer that i just don't understand. i got a friend to help me but i left a note on it just in case)!

also excuse the formatting, it's awful but tumblr won't let me do anything on shift-enter'd lines

under a readmore because it's super long:

Lead Planner: Shirokami (白神さん) Character Designer: Yamashita (山下さん) Brand Manager: Aida (間さん) And of course: Nomura (野村さん)

But first, the stuff before the Q&A:

—About Remus: designed by Yamashita; "he's a guy who helps pull Player along, so he's a reliable older brother type" (タレ目 just means drooping eyes) —レムスは山下さんがデザイン。山下さん「プレイヤーを引っ張ってくれるお兄さんなので、頼れるタレ目のお兄さんに」

—The designers check in with Nomura when deciding on characters —野村さんと相談しながらキャラクターを決めていく。

—There are plenty of other characters outside of who's shown in the closed beta, along with other Societies —CBTで出てる以外のキャラもいっぱいいる。結社も他にいっぱいある。

—Aside from Nomura, there are three other character designers —キャラデザのデザイナーは野村さん他3人、みんなでやってる。

—Freya was designed with the image of a cat in mind because she does navigation, and her hair is also designed with that in mind; OP's comment says "so basically Chirithy!" (メッシュ means hair highlights i think??) —フレイヤはある猫ちゃんをイメージ。ナビゲーションしてくれるから。メッシュもその子の柄を意識している。（チ○シィじゃん！）

—About avatar outfit coordination: "The person who designs weapons also designs the outfits" -Nomura —野村さん「武器職人が衣装職人やってる」武器のデザインやってた人がコーデデザイン

—There are a bunch of outfits modeled after different jobs, like Fighter, Hunter, Wizard, Healer, variations of Soldiers, Hunter(again), Black Mage, and White Mage —いくつかジョブをモチーフにしている衣装がある。ファイター、ハンター、ウィザード、ヒーラーは、それぞれ戦士、狩人、黒魔道士、白魔道士をイメージ

—There are also outfits designed to look like Scala civilian wear, like the ones working at the reception desk or the Top Hat outfit. "The order called for 'People from Scala'" -Yamashita —スカラの街の人っぽいデザインも。受付の人やシルクハットのコーデ。山下さん「オーダーが『スカラの街の人』だった」雑、と（笑）

—There's also one that looks like a flower shop owner —お花屋さんっぽいコーデも『スカラの街の人』っぽいデザイン。

—Other job motif outfits that haven't been shown; a Thief design that's predominantly black and green, includes goggles; a Dark Knight that has a sword accessory —ジョブモチーフ衣装、まだ出ていないものも！シーフは黒と緑の衣装、ゴーグルつけてる。暗黒騎士は使えない飾りの剣もついている

—The Red Mage outfit is predominantly black and red, with a cape on left shoulder; "To me it doesn't really look that red, just black" -Nomura —赤魔道士は黒と赤の衣装、左肩のみ肩マントつけてる。野村さん「俺から見ると赤くない、黒い」

—The Dragon Knight outfit is very spiky. The design for the hat is having trouble coming together so just that part is under revision —竜騎士はトゲトゲな衣装。帽子がまだしっくり来ていなくて帽子だけ監修中。

—The designers all have their opinions so there'll be a lot of different clothes —色んなデザイナーが関わっているから色んな服が出る。

——About the Guide Moogle: —Yamashita: They got their own new clothes, too —Nomura: (about the clothes) I was asked if the Guide Moogle could wear those outfits early in development, so that's why you see them in these outfits. Then I was asked if there could be one in each Society, which had to be turned down.* —山下さん「モグちゃんにも新しいお洋服を」 —野村さん「（ガイドモーグリの服について）開発から着せていいですか、って言われたから。結社一つモーグリでもいいですか？って言うから、それはダメだよ、って言った」 *(take this with a huge grain of salt. these two sentences are the most confusing lines i've ever read in my life. i have no idea who's saying what to who. help me)

—There are other Moogle designs too, such as flower shop and cafe employee outfits, and others can wear crowns and top hats; they mostly wear different hats and aprons —モーグリのデザイン、他にもあり！お花屋さん、カフェ店員さん…王冠かぶっていたり、シルクハットかぶっているのも！ほとんど帽子をかぶりエプロンをつけている。めっちゃかわいい。

—Outfit revealed for a character who can't be shown yet, outfit is mostly dark colors; "I can't say if they're an enemy or an ally yet. A name has been decided on, but I can't say that either. They aren't the only one" -Nomura —まだ出しちゃいけないキャラの服も公開！黒い衣装。野村さん「敵か味方かも言えない。名前は決まっているが言えない。…一人じゃない」

—There are subspecies of Behemoths, and one kinda looks a little like leopard print; "The closed beta testers are seeing them more often than their parents' faces" -Nomura, when looking at the Behemoth —亜種もあり。ちょっとヒョウ柄っぽい。 野村さん「（ベヒーモスを見て）CBTやっている人は親の顔より見てる」

—Scala was designed after the image of a main street at night; "It turned into the view of my childhood home…" -Nomura —スカラの街のイメージ資料。大通り（夜）。野村さん「実家と化した…」

——About the Dive Station: —Nomura: It went through a lot of name changes —Nomura: After the first time we showed it on Twitter, people thought maybe it was under construction, but like it was mentioned in the closed beta prologue, it's a place that's no longer in use —Nomura: Something that happened back when the cranes were still in use… You'll understand once the live service starts —野村さん「名前何回か変わった」 —野村さん「（ダイヴステーションについて）Twitterで初めて画像上げた後、建設中かなーと言われたけど、今回のCBTのプロローグでも言っていたように、今はもう使われなくなった場所」 —野村さん「クレーンを使っていた頃の何がしかは…正式サービス開始時にわかる」

—About the scenery of Scala: Since the design is the basis, it's been drawn with care by the same person who did the background scenery for Union Cross; "Everyone is living here now" -Nomura —スカラの全景。デザイン画なのでしっかり描かれている。このデザイン画はUχの背景を描いていた人が描いている。野村さん「皆さんはここに住んでいます」

Now to the actual Q&A section (where Nomura says, "You guys wrote way too many questions"):

—Q: Will Guilds or Friendlists be added? (a lot of this same question) —A: If possible. Stay tuned. —やれたら。お察しください。ご期待ください。

—Q: Is there compatibility with the Apple Watch, like being able to use it in hands-free mode? —A: With the step counter, yes. We'll see what we can do with the hands-free mode. —歩数で連動しています。ハンズフリーは善処します。

—Q: Will other raid bosses like the Guard Armor be added? —A: I can't say for all of them, but yes, there will be more. —全部とは言えないけど、出ます。今後増えます。

—Q: Will we be able to obtain more Keyblades such as Kingdom Key? —A: There will be more Keyblades, but I'm not sure about adding Kingdom Key. —キーブレードの種類は増えます。キングダムチェーンが出るかどうかはわからない。

—Q: Will Pieces have voices or BGM (like some medals did in KHUX)? —A: We're discussing it with Disney since the game is Global. Please be understanding. —ディズニーと相談中。お察しください。グローバルなので。

—Q: Is it possible to rollback a material you've already used? —A: That'd be difficult because of the Strengthening Record. —強化レコードの関係上難しい。

—Q: Will there be more clothing options and/or Pieces? —A: For clothing options, like we revealed earlier, there are ones that haven't been added and ones that we still can't show. They will be added gradually. The rest depends on our effort. —アバターはさっきお見せしたようにまだ出していないもの、そしてまだお見せしていないものもある。順次増える。他は頑張り次第。

—Q: The music is beautiful, so I was wondering if there would be an album release? —A: We still don't have many songs, so that will depend on if service continues. —まだ数曲しかないので、サービスが続けば。

—Q: What are Glow Pieces? —A: Special pieces that shine. Please wait for live service. (laughed at that one ngl) —光ってる特別なピース。正式サービス開始をお待ちください。

—Q: Do you recommend any specific Pieces or skills for battles? —A: (Shirokami) "The King. He can sweep the map in one shot." / (Nomura) "For me, it's Gothel. Though I feel a little bad when everything on the field gets Slow'd." *(edit: i just realized i misread this and it doesn't say "slow," it's "through," but i genuinely have no idea what that even means in the gameplay sense nor have i seen someone use gothel. maybe it takes aggro off of you??) —白神さん「王様。一発で一掃できる」野村さん「俺はゴーテル。みんなフィールドでスルーするからかわいそうだなって」

—Q: Will there be an easier way to save specific colors on clothes when you want to change them to something else temporarily? —A: That's under consideration. —やりやすくするよう改善を検討中です。

—Q: Since you can share raid boss URLs, are there any plans to create an official community? —A: If Disney's alright with it… —ディズニーがよければ…

—Q: If the game can be played at home, then is there a reason for it to be a mobile app? Wouldn't it be better to just make it a console game at that point? —A: (Nomura) "Staff have told me that mobile games nowadays can be made with the same quality as console games, so I thought it'd be worth a try to bring the normal KH experience to mobile. I wanted to use the hardware features that can only be accomplished on a smartphone, so I went with a location-based concept. Console games can accomplish different things. And, well, if we did make a console game that would be a separate thing, while this is its own thing." —A: (Shirokami) "With Party creation, for example, it's more interesting because you're interacting with the people around you and showing them this fun new thing and getting to play it together, which makes it a bit easier for you to expand outside of already existing communities." —A: (Nomura) "Keep joining more and more raids." —野村さん「今のスマホは家庭用のクオリティでできるとスタッフから言われて、じゃあスマホで据え置き並のKHやってみよっかと。ハードの機能を使いたいから位置ゲーに」 —野村さん「家庭用は家庭用で別にやる。まあ、今後家庭用で出してもそれはそれ、これはこれ」 —白神さん「パーティー機能など、リアルの近場の人だからこそ、これ面白いよ、やってみようよ、と既存のコミュニティから飛び出していく内容」 —野村さん「どんどんマルチ入れて」

—Q: What's something that you had the most trouble with during development, but actually ended up working out pretty well? —A: (Shirokami) "Getting the Pad function and the GPS function to coexist. It's hard to set up servers for that." / (Nomura) "Getting the vertical and horizontal orientations to coexist. It's ridiculous. Doing checks on it was even worse." —白神さん「パッド機能とGPS機能の両立。サーバー置いたり大変」 野村さん「縦画面と横画面両立。正気じゃない、狂気。チェックも倍」 縦横画面の両立でメニューなどコントローラーのこと追いついていない。

—Q: If someone disconnects and reconnects during a raid, are they able to continue? —A: Since it's in real-time, they can't continue. —リアルタイムなので継続はできない。

—Q: The miasma is so dark that I can't find the Area Enemy within it. It wasn't that strong during the prototype test. —A: I agree with that, and we tried to fix it after the closed beta started but it wouldn't work. It'll be fixed in the final release. —確かに濃すぎてCBT中に直したかったけど直せなかった。正式リリースでは直します。

—Q: Will there be costumes of characters such as Sora and Riku like there were during KHUX? —A: That kind of thing usually happens because the main producer brings it up… so if they do, then we'll do it. —野村さん「そういうのやるときはプロデューサーが話を持ってきたときだから…プロデューサーがそういう話持ってきたらやる」

—Q: Is there anything specific that you really like and want other people to pay attention to? —A: (Shirokami) "The Lock mode uses a seventh of the battery, so it's great to use to defeat enemies while in the car or on the train." —A: (Yamashita) "The scenery is pretty so please take a look at it. I'd like if you could climb the walls and look down every nook and cranny." —A: (Aida) "GPS games usually have some regional disparity, but this doesn't." —A: (Nomura) "There's a big reason why I wanted to use GPS, but I can't say. People have been speculating about it, right? On social media and whatnot." —白神さん「ロックモードはバッテリー消費7分の1になる。ロックモードは車や電車でも敵を倒せる」 —山下さん「背景が綺麗なので見てほしい。壁を登って隅から隅まで見てほしい」 —間さん「GPSゲーは地方格差あるけどこれはない」 —野村さん「GPSを取り入れようとした大きな理由があるけど、言えない。みんな書きますよね？SNSで」

—Q: I wish it was easier to collect jewels all in one place outside of checking the mail. —A: That will be addressed accordingly. There will be other ways to receive your items besides checking the mail from the Astral Plane. (Nomura: I find it annoying too) —順次対応します。メールがアストラル界以外でも受け取れるようにします。野村さん「僕もこれめんどくさい」

—Q: Will the Pieces be made into figures? —A: (Matsushita, present and in charge of merch) I wanna make them! I'll see what I can do! —イベントに立ち会ったグッズの松下さん「作りたいです！善処します！」

—Q: Can you make parties with the story characters? —A: There will be opportunities in the story to be joined by other characters, like Remus in the prologue. However, there are currently no plans to create parties freely with them. —ストーリー内では今回のレムスのように機会があります。自由に、というのは今のところ考えていない。

—Q: What Disney worlds will be in the game? —A: That's a secret. —秘密。 - They're shown anyway at the end of the Q&A: the player is seeing running through a forest, in a cave, on a shoal, near a beach, and finally Olympus (the only one OP was able to identify) - Disney worlds will work like they always have; they're places you can visit, have their own stories, and you can meet the inhabitants. There's one other thing, but OP can't say what it is - Other descriptions: A large lake? The ocean? Mountains, a moon in the night sky… A townscape from afar that you can see the lights from, and a boat on the wharf (Nomura: The colors were adjusted to get them as close to the original as possible)

—Q: Will there be a way to rewatch cutscenes within the game? —A: We're thinking of a theatre mode. (Nomura: There are people who skip cutscenes because they don't have time to watch them, so to make sure they don't miss out, it'll be added.) —シアターは考えている。野村さん「やってて今見てる時間なくてって飛ばしたい人もいるので、飛ばしたらもう見られないってならないよう、入れてもらいます」

—Q: Will there be time-limited events? —A: Meetings about events have already been arranged, but we can't say anything about the details. —イベントはもう打ち合わせ済み。内容はまだお答えできない。

—Q: How much of the story will be available when service starts? —A: Since there are so many characters, the modelers can't keep up, and aside from that, it's voiced with animated cutscenes. While we're trying to fix up the structure, we don't intend of making it more compact. It'll be about the same as a traditional Kingdom Hearts game. —新キャラばっかりでモデルが追いつかない。声もついてるしムービーも出る。構成見直し中だがコンパクトにする気はない。従来のKHと同じくらい。

About the pacing of story releases: (Nomura) "How many months did it take for KHUX? Nowadays that pacing is unacceptable."

—Q: Will Scala get any bigger? —A: Yes. —広がっていく。

—Q: Who are the staff's favorite characters? —A: Since there have only been two new characters shown so far, this is about Pieces instead. (Nomura: Gothel) —キャラは2人しか出ていないから、ピースを。野村さん「ゴーテル」

—Q: Will cutscenes look like the prologue instead of the text-based cutscenes that KHUX had? —A: If all the cutscenes were on the same level as the prologue, they would take a year to come out, so not all of them will. They'll be more lightweight than the prologue, but they will be voiced. All the cutscenes for the live service release have already been shot. There are very little to no cutscenes that are text-based like the KHUX ones are. —すべてを今回のプロローグレベルにすると出るの一年後になるので、すべてがそうではない。プロローグより軽量になることはあるけど、ボイスは入る。正式リリース時のカットシーン分は撮り終えてる。Uχみたいなテキスト送りイベントになることはよっぽどない。

—Q: Since Freya wears a skirt, are there any outfits that are gender-restricted? —A: (Yamashita) "Outfits are unisex. There's no restriction against what you can wear. Just like how the player can freely change bottoms, this is simply how Freya decided to coordinate her outfit." —山下さん「コーデは男女兼用。男性用、女性用と区別はなく、どちらも着られる。プレイヤーがボトムを変えられるように、フレイヤがそういうコーディネートをしているだけ」

—Q: Are Navigators different from Keyblade wielders? Are there others across the different Societies? —A: They are Keyblade wielders, but they just don't use them. Navigators don't exist in other Societies; Freya is the only one. By the way, you can't select a Society to join like you could with Unions in KHUX, the choice is fixed." —野村さん「キーブレード使い。使わないだけで。ナビゲーターは各結社にそれぞれはいない。フレイヤだけ。ちなみにUχみたいに好きな結社選ぶとかなく、プレイヤーが入る結社は固定」

(scenes in the closed beta are very cut, like with freya suddenly being friends with the player. the conversation with freya as seen in the closed beta is a discarded cut. that conversation will be in the final release, but the cut is different. / CBTのイベントはかなりカットしてる。フレイヤと突然仲間になってる。フレイヤの会話シーンはCBTのみの捨てカット。リリースであの会話はあるが、カットは違う。)

—Q: Is the Guide Moogle part of a Society? —A: We said earlier that they weren't, but maybe just that one is. —先程モーグリ結社はないと言ったが、このモーグリだけはどこか所属するかも。

[whatsaneggimcis]

Signs everything I thought I knew was wrong

I needed to dump my thoughts and feelings somewhere because I feel like im annoying my support group. I think my egg finally cracked Wednesday and immediately I had to start researching and buying gender affirming things. Anyways, here's my list of signs that I wish I had seen like a decade ago, please be kind I'm very new to opening up like this

Another Girl in elementary threatened me with makeup and cross dressing and I wanted it bad.

I think this one is such a major factor in why I feel like this has to be real. Its well before puberty and well before I knew transitioning was a thing. Just a natural thought for someone who’s the wrong gender

Multiple times pleading with god to just make me a girl

Still cis tho obv

Thinking if I held still for long enough in bed, some sort of magic would make me a girl and fix this wrong body of mine

I still remember the dreams where im a girl, i legit became proficient at lucid dreaming just for it.

Ah fuck the egg_irl memes are hitting too hard

My favorite game character is Bridget, listening back to the song is hitting really hard actually

Legit had an anxiety attack and took a day off work because my transfem friend said “careful, i said the same thing before i came out”

Wishing i had magic to turn myself into a girl

Playing female characters just to feel cute

Putting on leggings in highschool, then sleeping in them

Some female mannerisms

Kinda hating my poor skin but couldnt do anything about it since thats only for women am i right fellas

Mild euphoria when someone says good girl

Envisioning myself as the girl during fantasies

Jealousy over a womans body

Ive never seen any man sit cross legged at a table the way i do, idk why that one pops up but i’ve seen plenty of other girls do it

Desire to steal womans clothing to cross dress

At current moment I have no desire to bite my nails because I want them to grow out, even though I was a nail biter for 27 years

In pre school, tried to convince another girl to swap clothes with me

In pre school, loved pretending i was at a hair salon and the other girls in the school would give me a haircut. It gave me ASMR

Speaking of ASMR, I like exclusively listen to makeup, nail and hair roleplays

Feeling like i dont want to transition because I could be ugly

After realization, I dont have nearly as much of an appetite, maybe subconscious bodily sabotage in the form of overeating

Not seeing any future when I tried to plan my life better, before I ever considered the option of becoming trans

Feeling hurt when my dad made somewhat transphobic comments about my trans cousin

Wondering what my parents would do if i woke up one day as a woman and had to explain that to them

Genuine euphoria at the idea of trying on womens clothing, but thinking that i was weird and kinky

Playing with stuffed animals with my best childhood friend, a fellow girl

Hating my balls

I bet it feels good to cry, its probably cathartic

Hating body hair god i hate this so much, I’m just bad at shaving it and dont want to be covered in razor burns and have to explain to coworkers why I shaved my legs and arms

Hating my nose

Adopting a super masculine persona

Forcing myself to have a much deeper voice to not feel any of my true feelings

Actually seeing a future after considering becoming trans

Being hurt by transphobic comments at work before I realized my egg status

Was I sending what they said to my friend because i was hurt by it and wanted reassurance?

When i started drawing again, i had no desire to draw “cool badass epic shit” i just wanted to draw super cosy watercolor paintings.

God damn it i’ll say it, I fucking love pastels. Both the art medium and the color spectrum

Repression of my desire to dance and sing, or I guess express myself in any format due to internalized transphobia

“Mens fashion is so lame, girls have it so good. Im cis tho”

Pure depression my entire adult life

Wanting genuine friend connections with women in a more feminine way

Never caring about going out and buying clothes because none of them worked for me

Trying to force myself to not look at girls clothes because “thats only what weirdos do”

On this topic, how the fuck did i think this shit was normal… i wasnt watching women or anything, its not like i was being creepy in reality. I just wanted to see the womens clothes. Why is that such a bad thing for someone to want

Being jealous of my friend since he was openly wearing his girlfriend’s sweatshirt

Dude i stared longingly at a pink gamer girl chair, still cis tho

Speaking of gamers, being super jealous of C9 Sneaky that he could pass so well and was totally fine with showing that whole side of himself online. Same with Finnster.

I think i hate my voice, ever since realizing this about myself i cant help but hear my voice and think its not me

Being afraid to see a therapist because im not sure honestly

Fearing crying, but that might not be internalized transphobia and actually just be a side product of the vice grip on masculinity in society

Daydreaming about becoming a girl

General body dysmorphia

I want to cry but i cant, why cant I cry why

[kayrockerqog]

[the chart wasn't agreeing with me, so list form it is!]

ABOUT YOU: HORROR MOVIES

---------------------------------------------- Favourite Film of All Time -> Candyman (1992)

how do I explain my love for this movie without going apeshit? is it my bias towards Tony Todd? the cultural significance? the MUSIC??

Best Script -> Ready or Not (2019)

I had trouble thinking about an answer for this one, but then I remembered just how many moments in this movie got me laughing, and it fit right into the slot.

Favourite Poster -> The Thing (1982) and The Descent (2005)

I AM A SUCKER FOR THE "BACKLIGHT HIGHLIGHTS A SHADOWY FIGURE IN THE FOREGROUND" POSTER FORMAT and the way they did it for The Descent with the ladies' bodies forming a skull is BALLER

"I'll Watch it Some Day" -> The Road (2009), Melancholia (2011) and Wolf Creek (2005)

Two of them are recommendations of depressing movies from the internet, both with apocalyptic theming, and then Wolf Creek is one I just haven't gotten to yet.

Big Personal Impact -> Silence of the Lambs (1991)

This was my first proper horror movie. I had watched it at a friend's house since she was obsessed with Hannibal Lecter, and honestly? she was so right.

Best 3+ Hour Film -> I haven't watched any :<

You Like, but Everyone Hates -> REC 3: Genesis (2012)

I had trouble with this one too, but then I remembered that the reviews section of IMDB existed, and just...god, I was so sad. I was so sad because I loved this movie despite breaking from the typical REC format. I'm very partial to Clara, idec

You Hate, but Everyone Likes -> IT (1 and 2)

I was just not as impressed with this duology as everyone else was! I'm also fragile to jumpscares and Pennywise is a bitch about it.

Underrated -> I...don't have an answer for this either-

Overrated -> Jaws (1975)

I am...not a creature feature person. I don't have much of an explanation for this one either,,

"Why do I like this?" -> The Jinrou Games series (Werewolf Game)

This is where my old "How to Beat" fixation comes in clutch. I actually went and watched those movies, and they're just,,, gah, killing games, my beloved. I'm a sucker for strategy and psychology being exploited in a horror game.

Great Soundtrack -> Candyman (1992)

Philip Glass supremacy. Helen's Theme has unintentionally become my own theme song.

That Cinematography!! -> Cabin in the Woods (2011)

I REFUSE TO IGNORE THE FACT THEY TRIED SO HARD TO DO EVERYTHING PRACTICALLY. Like, that's a batshit thing to try and do, and I admire it so much.

Bad Day Cure -> Freaky (2020), Mayhem (2017) and Ready or Not (2019)

Simple plots, fun casts, and I am a SUCKER for Samara Weaving.

Favourite Protagonist -> REC franchise, Aliens (1986) and Ready or Not (2019)

Angela, Ripley and Grace deserve to go out and get coffee together, I'm telling you. Out of the three, I'm incredibly biased towards Angela, but the other two are both also super good!

Honorable mentions are Mac (The Thing) and Erin (You're Next).

Favourite Trilogy/Franchise -> Child's Play, Saw and REC

Don't you make me choose between them, please, I'm begging you-

Biggest Letdown -> Child's Play 3 (1991) and Saw 3D (2010)

Child's Play 3 felt the most lifeless of the original trilogy, and Saw 3D pissed me off SO MUCH.

Biggest Surprise -> Bodies, Bodies, Bodies (2022)

Similar to how I felt about the reboot season of Total Drama, I was kinda worried about the portrayal of its characters. However, they were just the right level of obnoxiousness, and the dialogue was more fun than irritating.

"Not the best, but having fun!" -> Patient Seven (2016) and Funhouse (2019)

I felt robbed when I looked up the reviews for Patient Seven, I was super into that movie especially with the main psychiatrist character, he was HORRID. And Funhouse just felt like Big Brother but with Saw elements and that I fuck with a LOT.

Criminally Overlooked -> Revenge (2017)

Yes, I know the r*pe revenge sub-genre is super iffy, but if you're gonna watch any one movie under it, pick this one. Jennifer is a BEAST and it's stylized in a really cool way!

Depressing Movie -> Would You Rather (2012) and Train to Busan (2016)

I wanted to go with something other than the de-facto choice of The Mist (2007) or Requiem for a Dream (2000) since I haven't even seen the latter, and when I thought about it, I remembered just how HOLLOW I felt with the majority of Would You Rather, especially with the end. And in the case of Train to Busan, I am already partial to apocalypse movies, but there were a lot of emotional scenes in that movie that I feel inclined to consider it sad.

Favourite Active Director -> Jordan Peele

This is a kind of wild answer, considering I haven't mentioned any of his movies, but his directing style is super rad! I still need to watch Nope, but I enjoyed both Get Out and Us more than I probably should.

The secondary answer is James Wan and Tom Savini.

Favourite Animated Film -> Corpse Bride (2005) and 9 (2009)

I am SHOCKED that 9 isn't primarily a horror movie. Like, what the fuck, there's no fucking way it isn't primarily horror. That film is TERRIFYING, and it's literally apocalypse horror. Like, come on. Corpse Bride is also my Tim Burton movie of choice, yes, even over Coraline.

Not really my thing...BUT- -> Willy's Wonderland (2021), The Banana Splits Movie (2019) and FNAF (2023)

Mascot horror is not my sub-genre of choice, especially when in game form, it's more inclined to rely on jumpscares, but at the same time, there was a lot to enjoy about these movies, namely the atmospheres. Plus, I'm forever impressed by the actors and puppeteers behind the animatronics.

crucify me

[eternal-armin]

how they would comfort you when you're crying

i am having a difficult time so it's time to self-indulge i apologize for mispellings and bad grammar, i am very tired and formatting is surprisingly exhausting x

characters included: jean, sasha, armin, levi, hange, mikasa, erwin

*＊✿❀　jean　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ not good with emotions *:✼✿ like at all *:✼✿ but he knows you well enough to know what you need and what would make you happy *:✼✿ so he stays near you and hugs you, talks to you, and reassures you. no matter what's troubling he will do his best to be sure that you know everything will be okay *:✼✿ you like his humming (even though he hates it) so he will hum your favorite songs and even make up songs *:✼✿ will make you laugh as much as he can *:✼✿ will not stop his attempts until you feel better *:✼✿ even if it means staying up all night helping you through your darkest griefs, he will willingly spend every second by your side and wide awake *:✼✿ very affectionate, better at physically showing his love for you honestly *:✼✿ still tries his best verbally *:✼✿ you always end up feeling better, no matter how long it takes *:✼✿ "i promise, i'll always protect you. you're never going to feel this bad again. you are so strong for being able to get through this, and i'm proud of you for asking for my help."

*＊✿❀　sasha　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ gets incredibly nervous, like "oh god, oh god you're crying uH" and tries her frazzled best for a few seconds *:✼✿ hugs you tight and reassures you, petting your hair *:✼✿ lets you cry into her shoulder as hard as you need *:✼✿ offers you everything under the sun to see what would make you feel better *:✼✿ cuddly and excessively affectionate, listens to you as you speak with the patience of a saint *:✼✿ cradles you and rocks you back and forth *:✼✿ brings you food and water and tea and whatever else she can scrounge/steal *:✼✿ makes sure that you're healthy and doesn't leave you alone *:✼✿ literally so kind and sweet *cries* *:✼✿ tells you just how much you're worth, how much you're loved, how strong you are, and it makes you cry more tbh *:✼✿ she tries joking around but if it doesn't work, she lets it go *:✼✿ cuddles you if you want, doesnt touch you if you need, but will never leave you alone for too long

*＊✿❀　armin　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ immediately asks you if you're okay after seeing you cry *:✼✿ when you break down, he hugs you and (though he won't admit it) cries with you *:✼✿ has a tender one-sided conversation with you until you're able to talk with him *:✼✿ a genuine talk about how you're feeling, why, and what you can do to help- and also what he can do to support you *:✼✿ talking with him is really helpful, but he also hugs you throughout it all, gives you physical affirmations as well as verbal *:✼✿ he knows what its like to feel so horrible about your life and yourself, he is so empathetic and gentle about it *:✼✿ a few moments are spent in peaceful silence. even if it feels hollow, its comforting *:✼✿ he lets you rest your head on his shoulder *:✼✿ brings you anything you need when you ask *:✼✿ promises you the sun and moon if it means you'll smile

*＊✿❀　levi　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ seriously bad with feelings *:✼✿ like at first he's completely apathetic *:✼✿ then he gets actually worried after seeing how badly its affecting you *:✼✿ provides the best comfort he can give, talks with you, hugs you, whispers affirmations *:✼✿ if it's a person who was bugging you he'll probably commit homicide *:✼✿ if it's not, he will do everything he can legally do to get it fixed *:✼✿ including going to shitty glasses *:✼✿ but if it's an emotional thing, he'll first ask you what you need *:✼✿ and levi will provide you with anything under the sun (exceptthethingsonthetopshelf) *:✼✿ im allowed to make that joke im 5'1 *:✼✿ he gets as affectionate as levi ackerman can possibly get *:✼✿ will leave you with someone you both trust if he needs to leave, for instance to commit homicide

*＊✿❀　hange　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ immediately fauning over you the moment they see your eyes tearing up *:✼✿ like "PUDDING WHAT IS WRONG WHY ARE YOU CRYING, BABY ARE YOU OKAY???" *:✼✿ they wipe your tears and give you plenty of kisses *:✼✿ hugs you tightly and doesn't let go *:✼✿ will speak at length about random things because they know that silence makes things worse for you *:✼✿ asks you if you need anything like at least fifteen times and brings you things regardless of what you say *:✼✿ mostly food or comfort objects honestly *:✼✿ tries to make you laugh, tells you stories, mostly stories that they know would reinspire your hope *:✼✿ will make tea to help you sleep (if it's at night) *:✼✿ inspires you to use your coping skills *:✼✿ if you want, hange will do them with you

*＊✿❀　mikasa　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ flurry of emotions at first, from shock and sadness to anger *:✼✿ similarly to levi, would commit homicide for the sake of revenge *:✼✿ sweetly comforts you at first before asking a lot about what happened *:✼✿ cradles you in her lap *:✼✿ lets you wear her sweaters because she knows you love them *:✼✿ keeps calm to keep you calm *:✼✿ and it works; you stop crying soon after going to her *:✼✿ still affectionate and supportive *:✼✿ sympathetic, understanding *:✼✿ suggests things to do that will cheerr you up *:✼✿ but she understands when you dont want to do anything besides exist because everything else is too much *:✼✿ if and when she feels okay about leaving you with someone else (rare) or alone (p much never) she will commit physical violence against the person who hurt you. unless you specifically tell her not to

*＊✿❀　erwin　❀✿＊*

*:✼✿ kind of shocked to see someone usually so strong so broken down *:✼✿ holds your hands and lets you cry *:✼✿ he knows how important it is to cry sometimes *:✼✿ gently talks with you about what's wrong *:✼✿ he comforts and reassures you all throughout what you say *:✼✿ inspires confidence in your talking *:✼✿ he makes you feel strong and justified in your feelings *:✼✿ provides physical comfort as you boh figure out good solutions *:✼✿ if its emotional then he'll work with you to do coping skills *:✼✿ talks about how proud he is of you, whether you feel like you deserve it or not *:✼✿ you WILL feel like you deserve it *:✼✿ that is a threat.

[vals-cd]

"𝒥𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓈𝒶𝓎 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊"

SO hi im val uh this is my first time writing on here and i dont now anything about the format so im sorry. Also don’t mind grammar errors in this its 1 a.m when writing this and i just got done with a 4 hour class and i’m sock so uh dont judge me too hard lmao so uh heres goes nothing i guesss. Oh yeah sorry if its ooc i tried my best lol

Draken X Thembo!Gn reader

Fluff

Warnings short and my first time writing

You could say you were a dense person but thats what Draken liked about you, how oblivious you were to many things, He knew you werent dumb in anyway acutally you are one of the smartest people he knows. He loved everythign about you from the way you looked at him and only him to the way you dressed not worrying about how many people judge you. You were perfect in everyway and even more perfect for him.

Some may even argue he thought you were too perfect but he didn’t care. but one thing he wasn’t the biggest fan of is how you kind of avoided saying ‘I love you’, it made him wonder if he was doing something wrong, or if somthing happend in one of your past relationships. 

But thats how you got here, sittingg on Drakens bed Him looking at your dolled up face. “So, Ken did ya need somthing? ‘cause you are kind of just staring at me.” You broke the silence with. “Sooo, I just was wondering if i did something that you didnt like.” Draken musters out. God this had to be one of the scariest things to him.

“Oh, You did nothing wrong why? Did i do or say somthing made you think this” You respond. God hearing you say that felt like everything left his shoulders. “hehe I just thought i did somthing because yo never really say ‘i love you’“  he whispers to himself “Hm? whatddya say?”..

“I thought i did somthing beacuse you never said “i love you” to me” the response you gave him made him made him red “Oh? AWEEE does Ken-Channn want me to say that” 

“God, Can you just say I love you!” Draken cried out, you were silent just taken back by how bad he wanted you to say i love you and this made him question what he really just said. After a few minuetss of silence you finally respond

“ I love you Draken”

[froggie-recs-fics]

Fic Roundup (up to 9/26/21)

I'm gonna start collecting fics I've read recently to recommend them, because making trope lists takes too long and many fics fall by the wayside. Let me know if you like this new format!

The fandoms in this list are as follows: Marvel (SamBucky, HTP, SpideyPool, WinterHawk, WinterIron, Stony, Stucky, SpiderShield), DCU (Bane/Blake), Inception (Arthur/Eames), Teen Wolf (Sterek).

A * signifies a particular favorite (though I love all these fics)

Marvel

Sam/Bucky

double back by flowermasters (E, 12K, Post-Endgame, Time Loop, Time Travel)

Sam gets stuck in a time loop. In 1943.

Things could be worse, but they could certainly be better.

Companion piece here: quick time

I'll explain everything to the geese by napricot (Post-Endgame, E, 50K, Sam can talk to birds)

Bucky is so competent that it hurts my feelings is not a rational complaint to have about a person, and yet, after a year of being Captain America and partnering up with Bucky for the new and improved, post-Blip Avengers, that’s kinda how Sam’s feeling.

It’s not great. It maybe leads to Sam making some rash, ill-advised decisions like claiming he has a previously undisclosed superpower, and then getting caught in a web of lies when he ends up actually developing that surprisingly inconvenient superpower. Talking to birds had seemed like a harmless superpower, but it turns out that birds have a lot of opinions, and they don’t hesitate to tell Sam about them, especially when it comes to his supposedly subpar courting skills. Which is ridiculous, because Sam isn’t courting Bucky. Right?

Rumlow/Bucky

**blueprints for a better world series by itallstartedwithdefenestration @astralhux (CATWS, Post-CATWS, Noncon, E, 115K, Dark Main Character)

When Pierce discovers the asset is no longer capable of getting himself hard during recreational use, he tells Rumlow to figure out what the problem is, and to fix it. The solution turns out to be more complicated than anyone expected.

I can't recommend this series enough

Peter/Wade

*Dead Men Walking series by doctorestranged @lazystrawberrymilkshakes (E, 235K, Identity Porn, Slow Burn)

When a series of murders take place, Peter Parker goes undercover in Sister Margaret’s to get intel on Tony Stark’s prime suspect: Deadpool. Peter goes in hoping to get enough information so that Spider-Man can save the day, but like everything in Peter’s life, it becomes a bit more complicated than that and it soon becomes apparent that he might not be the best fit for the job.

All About Chemistry by TwiceBakedPotato @sedatedkoala (No Powers AU, M, CNTW, 74K, Teacher-Student Relationship, Slow Build)

After serving his 20 years in the Marine Corps, Wade Wilson is cashing in his GI Bill and going back to college. He feels like the old man on campus, but that doesn't matter. He likes his classes. He likes learning. And he especially likes his Chemistry professor with the messy brown hair.

Clint/Bucky

Making Me A Habit by Kangofu_CB @kangofu-cb (No Powers AU, T, 20K, Pet Store, Slow Burn, Pining, Misunderstandings)

Bucky is a disabled vet struggling with reintegrating into civilian life. He has a routine and a rhythm, and he doesn't like to let anything - big or small - disrupt it. That all changes the day Bucky finds himself inside CATastrophe, the local pet rescue, recovering from a panic attack in the back room of the shop.

He’s used to walking by the place, not visiting, but the next thing Bucky knows, he’s hanging signs and being used as a climbing tree for a bunch of freshly-acquired kittens. And he just...keeps going back. First for the kittens, then for the disaster shop owner who rescues actual kittens from actual trees and teaches archery as a side-gig, and eventually because he’s hopelessly in love.

(Clint was in love before Bucky ever walked in the door.)

*Nameless by AvaKelly (Post-CATWS, M, 101K, Time Travel, Time Loop, Slow Burn)

A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.

"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.

The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"

"I put it there."

Glitter, G-Strings and Other Mission Hazards by flawedamythyst @flawedamythyst (T, 16K, Undercover, Stripper Clint)

“Which is why you need me to shake my booty for cash,” said Clint.

“Precisely,” said Coulson. “You’re the only agent we have who wouldn’t need additional training in the skills of an exotic dancer to take on the mission, and we want to get someone in there as soon as possible.”

Clint nodded, shutting the file. “Okay, awesome. I’ll dig out my sequined g-string.”

“You’ll have full access to requisition any costumes you might need,” said Coulson.

A mission requires Bucky to be Clint's back-up as he goes undercover as a stripper, which gets more difficult with every new costume he comes out in.

Paternal Error by EVVS @skylarkevanson (Post-CATWS, T, 33K, Kid Fic, Established Relationship)

Bucky has never once thought of being a parent. Not since the Winter Solider happened.

Until he falls in love with Clint Barton. And that idiot just keeps collecting children for his flock.

Now Bucky has to pretend like he's good at parenting.

Bucky/Tony

Forms of Love by bear_bell (Post-CACW, E, 33K, Split Personalities)

Months after the Avengers' dispute in Germany, the team returns to the US and moves back into the tower. As always, everyone pretends that nothing happened. Tony is just fine with this. He's used to pretending, and he'll be damned if he lets any of them see him flinch.

Tony's the bad guy, after all. He's used to it. He's fine with it. He's good at it.

Only now, there's something far worse loitering around the tower - The Winter Soldier. No one notices the guy at first, but when they do, Tony figures that he should have the soldier's back.

Birds of a feather should flock together, and the bad guys should start a book club.

Steve/Tony

While You Were Sleeping by betheflame @betheflame (No Powers AU, M, 65K, While You Were Sleeping AU)

It's been years since Steve Grant Rogers Drysdale has spoken to his twin, Ransom. So it was quite a shock when he was summoned to a hospital and found out that Ransom was in a coma.

Even more shocking? That Ransom is engaged. To Tony Stark.

Steve/Bucky

The Road Goes Ever On And On by PipGraham (Omegaverse AU, M, Noncon, Graphic Violence, 20K, Road Trip, Pre-Serum Steve, Past Domestic Violence)

When Brock's continued domestic abuse puts not only Steve's life in danger, but also that of his unborn pup, he flees into the night with just a small backpack of clothes and almost no money to his name.

Steve quickly runs into trouble as he tries to embark on a 3-day cross-country bus journey back home to New York City.

He meets a kind veteran when he most needs a helping hand.

Just Words by LadyRazzle (crimegimp) @ladyrazzle (Pre-CATFA, Soulmate AU, T, 2K, Fluff)

Inspired by that now legendary post: "soulmate AU where you wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them." Well what if they appear the moment you turn 18, rather than just the day? And what if by the time you turn 18, you'd already fallen in love?

Bucky wasn’t eager to discover what the words said. He already knew what he wanted them to say. He always had.

Peter/Steve

Forgetting It's There by spinstitcher (stygian) (NR, 8K, Crack, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Porn)

“You’re Captain America,” he blurts out.

“What?” says Captain America, looking a little wide-eyed. He casts a nervous glance at the girl at the counter – he has nothing to worry about there, she’s rocking out to her iPod and could care less what they’re talking about – and says, “No, uh, Steve, it’s just, I’m Steve.”

“Right,” says Peter, and then because his brain-to-mouth filter had apparently been completely destroyed in the fight on Oscorp Tower: “Hey, your butt really is as tight as it looks on TV.”

DCU

Bane/Blake

7 Deadly Ass(as)sins by teacuphuman @teacuphuman09 (AU, E, 23K, BDSM)

Bane and Barsad own a sex shop and John needs a job.

Straws by Menirva (Bane/Blake/Barsad, AU, E, 38K, BDSM)

John works in a smoothie shop.

He has a knack, a second sense if you will, for being able to look at a person and know what they're going to order. It's not the most spectacular gift in the world but he likes being able to figure people out and he's never wrong.

Except for this scruffy asshole who is clearly just ordering the wrong thing to fuck with him.

How is he even finishing an extra-large?

Inception

Aurthur/Eames

Rough Trade by Whisky (whiskyrunner) @whiskyrunner (AU, E, 23K, Internalized Homophobia)

Arthur is an investment banker. He is professional and efficient. He's a halfway decent cook. He's totally independent and has been since the age of eighteen. Maybe he's tired all the time because he works about ninety hours a week which is twice what normal people do, but he's rich and he's competent at his job. He's almost thirty, and already a success.

And there are some things Arthur is not. For instance: Arthur is not gay.

Lucky by earlgreytea68 @earlgreytea68 (M, 37K, Kid fic)

Arthur finds a baby.

Teen Wolf

Stiles/Derek

Cut to the Bone by standinginanicedress (Omegaverse AU, E, 112K, Secret Relationship, Enemies to Lovers kinda)

“Not that it’s any of your god damn business, but my name is Stiles. Do you need something?”

The alpha grins. All teeth, shiny white, straight as an arrow. He’s got this sculpted perfection to him that Stiles is sure has worked on all the omegas he’s ever encountered before, but Stiles stands his ground and narrows his eyes. “A date.”

Stiles looks him up and down, slowly, from the black shoes on his feet, to his uniform khakis and blazer littered with pins, to his face. He frowns, makes a face, and says, “pass.”

Cornerstone by Vendelin (Human AU, E, 83K, Marine Derek, Blind Stiles, Friends to Lovers)

Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

Stand Fast in Your Enchantments by DevilDoll, Rahciach (AU, Graphic Violence, E, 76K, Captivity, Feral Derek)

"Stiles knew damn well what a pissed-off wolf sounded like, and every hair on the back of his neck was telling him that somewhere in this room was a very pissed-off werewolf." An AU in which Derek is feral, Stiles is magical, and they eat a lot of fast food.

The Payoff Pitch by Leslie_Knope (Sports AU, E, 83K, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers)

Derek is on the cusp of his second season with the LA Dodgers, and as the reigning runner-up Rookie of the Year, the pressure’s on him to become the team’s star pitcher and lead them to the playoffs for the first time in five years. He’s trying to deal with the burden of expectations and really has zero desire to spend any extra time or energy on anything that isn’t baseball.

But then he meets Stiles.

[nat-20s]

Part 5 of Wonderful! Au. *boyband voice* banter’s back alright!

Also on AO3

~*~

Jon: Hello everyone, and welcome back to our regular format. If my husband being horribly soppy-

Martin:-hey!-

Jon: -turned you off the how, this should be a refreshing return to formula, though I can’t guarantee there won’t be further horrible soppiness-

Martin, performatively under his breath: -most people thought it was charming-

Jon: -as that tends to happen when one is recording with the love of their life. If last week’s episode is the only one that you like, too bad, I’m back in full form, and should be at least through the rest of the season.

Martin: This show doesn’t have seasons? Due to the whole lack of a narrative thing?

Jon: I was referring to spring.

Martin: Oh, right.

[A beat passes.]

Martin, flatly: Oh. Great goof hon.

Jon, smug: Thank you.

Jon, sincere: Also, before we get properly started, I did want to actually thank everyone who sent well wishes.

M artin: Yes! We got positively inundated with lovely messages, it definitely brightened both of our days. I would even say it was wonderful.

[Jon groans.]

Jon: I am..not proud of the energy we’ve created for this episode so far, and we haven’t even hit the small wonders. Speaking of, do you have a small wonder this week?

Martin: Mine’s bad action movies.

Jon: Really? I had no idea you even liked them, let alone consider them wonderful.

Martin: Okay, so, saying I like them is a bit of a misnomer? It’s more that I like what they can do more than the movies themselves?

Jon: Elaborate?

Martin: It probably comes as a surprise to no one that I’ve tried my hand at a fair amount of mindfulness and mediation techniques. I’ve found poetry and journaling have been helpful for actually processing life events and whatnot, but when it comes to giving your brain a hard wipe and reset, nothing is half as quick and effective as a shitty shoot-em-up. Somethings about 2 hours of cartoonish, pg-13 violence held together with the absolute loosest of plots brings me to a state of mental blankness that would make a monk jealous.

Jon: How have I never witnessed you doing this? When are you sneaking off to go see Micheal Tarantino or who ever films?

M artin: That’s definitely not the right name.

Jon: Martin, dear, I don’t care. And you’re dodging the question.

Martin, fond: I’m not dodging anything. Since apparently we’re getting into it, you haven’t caught me cavorting with a movie involving more explosions than character development lately because I haven’t been. Haven’t needed it, in recent years. Turns out when you’re not crushingly lonely and working a literal nightmare of job, there’s less of a drive to try and escape your own thoughts. Shocker, I know. Still, to anyone out there that feels like their brain is on fire, go try watching a fast and furious. Any of ‘em, it doesn’t matter. Or even better, Chronicles of Riddick. I can’t remember a single goddamn detail of that movie, which makes it perfect for what I’m talking about.

Jon: I have the strong feeling that th is is a “mileage may vary” scenario.

Martin: Well, yeah, that’s this whole podcast. Plus, I imagine that movies like this would cause more stress to someone who cares about, say, world-building or rules consistency.

Jon: I wonder who you could possibly be referring to.

Martin: It’s a purely hypothetical person, love, don’t worry about it. Any small wonders?

Jon: Yes! Particularly relevant to the last week, my small wonder is stripping the sheets from your bed when it’s been too long between washes.

Martin: How very specific. M ost people would just say ‘clean sheets’.

Jon: Well, for one, I’m fairly certain that we’ve already covered clean sheets-

Martin: Shit, have we? Thank god other people keep track of this, otherwise this show would be unbearably repetitive.

Jon: Christ, yes. I typically check the website a good three times while prepping, and every about one out of those three times I find I’m trying to do an topic we did 30 episodes again. Anyway, um, it’s just nice, I think. When you’ve been too busy or sick or away for awhile, tossing the sheets in the wash makes a room instantly seem nicer. Of all the chores out there, this one, at least for me, has the highest reward to effort ratio.

Martin: Hard agree. Especially when the y have that slight funk of having been around to long, getting rid of that is such a relief. Speaking of, we need to change our sheets soon.

Jon: We can do it after the episode. Who goes first this week?

Martin: Considering last week was only me talking, I’m gonna say it’s you.

Jon: Alright, then. My first thing this week is Martin K. Blackwood.

Martin: Absolutely not!

Jon: Oh, you can do a whole episode on me, but I can’t do one little segment on my husband, whom I love very dearly?

Martin: Not while I’m sat here, no!

Jon: So you’re saying you don’t want me to tell the internet that your resolve to be kind even in the face of indescribable cruelty is one of the mot breathtaking things I’ve ever witnessed, or how I find it incredibly endearing when you get so emotional that your voice comes out as a squeak, or even that, on a more base level, you’re very physically attractive, and I could lose entire days thinking about your arms alone?

Martin, audibly blushing, voice the aforementioned squeak: Oh my god, Jon!

Jon, laughing: Then it’s probably for the best that my actual first thing is best friends.

Martin, peaking the audio levels: Oh you absolute bastard! Do you enjoy this? Do you get some sort of perverse sense of entertainment from riling me up?

Jon: Oh, don’t you start. As if you’re not as bad as I am. Maybe even worse.

Martin: That’s not…

Jon: Yes?

Martin: Okay. Maybe it’s slightly true. Really, what is romance for if not flustering your partner with compliments?

Jon, teasing: I certainly can’t think of anything.

Martin: Hush, you.

Jon: No, I don’t think I will.

Martin: Fine. I suppose you can tell our delightful audience about the power of friendship or whatever.

Jon: I would’ve assumed more enthusiasm, considering this segment is still, indirectly, about you.

Martin: In what way?

Jon: In the way that, to the shock of all, you’re my best friend.

Martin, pleased: Oh, is that what I am?

Jon, exasperated: Yes, dearest husband, I wouldn’t have married you otherwise. Though, upon reflection, I knew you were my best friend before I knew I held romantic feelings for you.

Martin: When was that?

Jon, letting out a breath that vibrates his lips: God it was...2016? I think it might’ve literally been the day after you told me about your CV.

Martin: That early? Huh. I wonder if that’s what people were picking up when they said they we were close.

Jon: What people?

Martin: I don’t know specifically, that’s just what Daisy told me.

Jon: Daisy? When the hell-?

Martin: It...was when she was interrogating me? And, because sometimes I have to be a parody of myself, pretty much my only take away from that interrogation was “people think me and Jon are close”.

Jon: Well then. It’s not like they were wrong.

Martin, smug: No, no they weren’t.

Martin, sincere: And you’re my best friend, too.

Jon: I was certainly hoping that you’re in this relationship for more than my good looks and incredible fortune, both in the monetary and luck sense.

Martin: You say that as if you aren’t good looking, which we all know is patently untrue.

Jon: You’re biased. You’d say I was good looking if I were nothing more than some primordial ooze with thoughts about its station.

Martin: I’m being completely objective. If you were primordial ooze with thoughts above its station, you’d be the cutest ooze of them all. That’s just scientific fact.

Jon: I’m starting to think we might be insufferable.

Martin: Starting to? Might be?

Jon:…

[Jon clears his throat]

Jon: What I find wonderful about the concept of best friends is, to me, they’re the closest thing real life has to soulmates. I don’t personally believe that there’s some..grand mystic force that drives people to be tied together in the manner that narrative typical soulmates are, and if there was I don’t think it would necessarily be the kind of emotional, heartfelt bond one would hope for, but I do believe that there’s individuals that get to know one another, and because of that knowledge, they chose to stick with one another. It doesn’t have to be a romantic, which is why I say best friend rather than specifically ‘spouse’, but I would argue that the basis of a strong romance like you and I have, is very much rooted in that connection. A true best friendship is an equal partnership, and there’s a sense of..matched sensibilities and understanding that can be utterly incandescent when it happens.

I also think that having one or more best friends makes living life on a day to day basis both better and just flat easier. The dark times aren’t as dark, and the bright times shine even more. I know from my own personal experience there are events that I..that I don’t know how I would’ve made it through without you. Hell, last week my..recovery period would’ve taken much longer if you hadn’t been there.

It’s an amazing thing to have someone to share things with, both triumphs and burdens. Um, also, according to Dictionary.com, the term best friends in English has been around since the 1200s. Something about that delights me, like, yes, we’ve had this casual way of referring to a Favorite Person for roughly 800 years. That makes it a hold-out from early Middle English. I dunno, it’s one of those things that make me feel overall very charmed by humanity.

Martin, audibly smiling: No, yeah, hard agree.

Jon: What’s that look for?

Martin: Nothing. Just. I love you a whole lot, you know that?

Jon, voice soft: I may have heard you say that once or twice. Per hour.

Martin: Only that often? I really need to be more diligent about that.

[There’s a bet of silence, presumably where they’re making doe eyes at each other.]

Jon: What’s your first thing?

Martin: Oh, um, right. Rats!

Jon: The expression or the animal?

Martin: Jon, have you ever once heard me say “rats” as an expression? Obviously I’m referring to the animal.

Jon: Ah. Should’ve known, considering that what, a third?, of all your segments have been on animals.

Martin: Yeah? And? You got a problem with critters? With creatures? With lil guys?

Jon, laughing: No, no, it’s very sweet. I’m just surprised you never became a vet.

Martin: Oh believe me, I wanted to. But then I learned that it was not, in fact, a job composed entirely of getting paid to play with other people’s pets.

Jon: You had that job, though, didn’t you? I thought I remembered you mentioning a month long stint at a doggie day care.

Martin, sighing dreamily: Best job I ever had. Too bad that place was shut down after it was revealed to be a money laundering front.

Jon: Good lord.

Jon: Martin did you...did you know it was a money laundering front at the time?

Martin:

Martin: Would it make you feel better if I said no?

Jon: Martin!

Martin: I figured it out like a week in, but, like, who cares? The pay was decent and the floor was super easy to clean, which is very much a plus for even a front of a doggie day care.

Jon: That’s...rather a lot. How about instead of getting into that any further, you tell me about rodents.

Martin: I would love to. But first, we have a shoutout!

Jon: Ooo, a shoutout. Does it specify who should read?

Martin: Let me check. It...does...not…..

...

Jon: Martin?

[A beat.]

Martin: Right! Sorry, um. This week’s shoutout is from Tim, to Danny. It says, “Danny! My favorite person who shares genetic material with me! I wanted to say thank you for your podcast obsession from 4 months ago, and specifically for telling me about these marrieds. They’ve gotten me through many a dull hour at the publishing house. Also, with this shoutout, I’ve officially gotten ahead on the Superior [Last Name Redacted] Brother scoreboard, so suck it. Love you lots, and looking forward to your visit next month, Tim.”

Jon: Oh.

Jon: Um. That’s very..sweet? I think? Mostly?

Martin: Yeah, I’d say so. Uh. We have to take a quick break because, uh, someone is..at our front door! Be back with you all in, from your side of things, just a moment.

[nekojuro]

Hello there :) I really LOVED your asl brothers headcanons + the fluffy sabo one

So we know the majority of the fandom headcanons Sabo as a not really jealous type of bf, but what if when he DOES get jealous, its quite a mess ? May I please request an angsty headcanon of this with a fluffy ending ? Female!S/O please,

Thank u ❤

hello, thank you for the request! y'all really love sabo and im in for it, as you should! im not really fond of making angst because i can't take myself seriously but i tried my best with my own version and I'm sorry if it's nothing like you requested. also, I can't imagine sabo in an angsty headcanon but feedbacks are highly appreciated! hope you enjoy it! genre: sfw | v light angst - fluff warning(s): f!reader, modern-day timeline note: not proofread and a really long one so I'm gonna call it a one-shot with headcanon format

JEALOUS SABO ONESHOT

as we all know, sabo is caring and patient. that being said, he doesn't really care about other people and respects those people around you. he's v rational and doesn't mind much those guys who have hots for you.

unless the same guy kept on hitting on you and gets under his skin while he's in a not-so-nice mood, all hell breaks loose.

okay, it's so rare for him to get jealous but when he does, you get lowkey intimidated and scared.

he's the silent treatment type of jealousy, he won't even look at you and let you touch him. he'll be so distant but will expect you to cling unto him and if you don't? he'll get sulky and impatient, he won't be able to stay still istg

he calms down with your scent tho

you know that well and the last time you had this issue was around half a year ago

because you're a dumb bitch who's too oblivious for your own good, it happened again.

sabo is waiting for you at his apartment and since you decided to go on a date tomorrow, you'll be spending a night there since sabo had been whining for the lack of time you've been together for this whole month. unfortunately, you're late because there was a company dinner and you forgot to text him that you'll be late since you thought it won't take an hour but here we are.

god, I'm so stupid! you thought

a co-worker offered to give you a ride home which you didn't refuse because of course, you want to be home as soon as possible. you thanked your office mate and when you were about to unlock the door, it opened and there you saw sabo in his pajamas-- a white shirt and gray sweatpants. he looks concerned and immediately grabs your bag and coat so you could remove your heels.

"I'm so sorry, love. there was a sudden company dinner but it only went for an hour because there's only 4 of us there anyways. have you eaten?" you explained while you walk towards the kitchen to get water.

"yes, did you eat well? there's a leftover if you're still hungry. who was with you anyways?" he curiously asked

"oh, the team manager and his wife then my desk mate. do you remember him? the one who gave me a bento cake last time?"

his forehead creased and you look at him for a second when you heard him clear his throat which you didn't pay much attention to.

"ah, okay. let's go to bed right after you wash up, we're leaving early tomorrow." he smiled at you but it didn't reach his eyes

still, you chose to shrug it off because he's been always like that whenever he's tired and sleepy.

you skipped lightly towards him to give him a hug and kiss which made him chuckle

he hugged you tightly and places his face to the crook of your neck when he stiffened under your touch.

nonetheless, you paid no mind and go on with the night since as he said, you'll be leaving early tomorrow and you just want to dive in the bed--wrapped in his arms.

when the morning comes, you woke up when you felt the other side of the bed--cold and empty. you immediately got up to get a cup of water while thinking that he might be watering the little plants he has.

you tied your hair before going out but instantly stopped in your tracks when you found him leaning at the main door, talking with your office mate.

"uhm? what's up?" you were so confused about what's happening but you can clearly see that sabo is not having fun while your office mate was smiling sheepishly.

you walked towards them that made sabo click his tongue which made you uneasy

"oh, I'm just passing by. i think you dropped this hairpin on my car last night." you mirrored his smile and lightly tuck in the little strands that fell on your face

you were about to reach for it when sabo grabbed it-- a little too hard-- that made you tense as you can feel his intense gaze even though he's not looking at you.

"yeah, thanks. you can go now." sabo blandly shooed him which made your eyes widen as you rush to pull him back and stand in front of him to face your co-worker.

"h-hey! yeah, thank you so much! i didn't notice it but I appreciate it. well, see you at the office...i g-guess?" it was so hard for you to maintain a smile on your face when you can literally feel the heavy pressure of sabo's presence.

"oh, actually the manager announced that we're gonna have a one-day trip to osaka for screening of the new products at the group chat. she was looking for a volunteer and the team manager wanted you to c--"

"she's not available, can't you fucking see?" you almost yelped at the impact when sabo pulled you unto him that made you bump on his chest.

they were exchanging glares so you had to cut it off and apologize because you're not gonna volunteer for that, not when sabo is like this, you're better off dead than go with your team.

when you bid farewells to your co-worker and close the door, you can feel your stomach-churning. the moment he lightly pushes you to go back to his room, you knew this is gonna be a long day.

it's early in the morning and today is date day, what a bad timing to show up in front of sabo.

"love? hey..." you called out when you saw him in front of his study desk and laptop with glasses on. a sign that the date will get canceled.

you immediately go behind him and tried to touch his cheeks but he evaded it smoothly with attitude. you almost laughed but you know it's not the right time and you're not that stupid.

you tried different things but he just wouldn't accept anything right now so you decided to give up pestering him and took a shower instead. you can't allow this day to be a waste, if you have to drag him just to make the date happen--you will.

even after dressing up, he's still ignoring you but you know he's also aware of what're you doing because you can see his hands stop from typing whenever you make a move.

"love, I'm going out. you comin'?" trying a new approach, you asked but no reply.

you sigh heavily and head to the kitchen, you saw him shift around at the corner of your eyes when you opened the door.

pouring an orange juice into the mug and going back to his room, you placed it beside his laptop. your hands place on his shoulders for support, you take off one of his earpods.

"sabo, I'm going out for a while 'kay?" you stand straight after giving him a kiss on his cheeks.

but before you can even take a step, you're immediately pulled by him. standing between his parted legs as buries his face in your stomach. he's a little bit calmed down so it'll be easier to talk to him.

"you come back home late with another man's scent on you then the next day, they come knocking on my door. that fucking assho--"

you cut him off with a light slap on his head, "sabo, that's mean! don't act like i forgot your rudeness earlier." you warned

he looked up to you with a glare, "yeah, he earned it. are you siding with him?"

"no, love. you know you've been rude!" you raised a brow which he mirrored

"baby, I'm your boyfriend." he stated with his cheeks slightly puffed like that sentence will do its magic

you sighed, giving it up. i mean, it's partly your fault! you're just lucky this time because he's attention and touch starved-- that's why he's easy to submit.

"okay, okay. I'm sorry, I'll be careful from no--"

"as you should." he cuts you off with a sass

you squeezed his cheeks and kiss him on his nose and forehead, "c'mon, stop being a baby and get up. we're going to movies instead, my treat." you winked at him.

he instantly stands up and hugged you tightly while peppering you with kisses.

before closing the bathroom door, he looked back at you and flashes his infamous charming smile that made you chuckle.

"you look so good, love."

[rogue-durin-16]

HIS WARM EYES

Summary: Some members of the Order are reticent about letting in a Lestrange, specially after Snape's betrayal. Whilst taking Harry to the the burrow, an ambush has place. Everything points to Y/n, right?

Pairing: George Weasley x Slytherin!Lestrange!Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

George Weasley: @meph1stophelian

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @skarlettmikaelson

Warnings: blood, injuries, death

A/N: OH MY GOD THIS IS SO LONG AND BAD— I AM GENUINELY SORRY BUT I HAD TO

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Lestrange wasn't a good name.

It wasn't a good name in the streets, nor in close-doors, let alone amongst The Order.

That's why I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they had accepted me— well, maybe 'accepted' was a strong word; they had let me in, reticent, weary, but still they had done it. Plus, after Snape's betrayal and Dumbledore's death, no one would think there was a vacant for a Slytherin and a Lestrange.

It wasn't until I found myself exiting the abandoned Grimauld's Place along with the rest of the volunteers to go to Privet Drive, that it dawned on me; they were short on people.

They were so short on people that the Order would have to swallow my name, my family and my House.

That didn't mean they would quiet down their opinions about me being there.

"I'm gonna say it." Fred announced, taking a spot in the living room's corner while Shacklebolt, Arthur and Lupin searched the place.

"Again?" Fleur groaned.

Fred had already spoken his mind about my presence before we reached Potter's house.

His and George's shocked looks had been on me since the very first moment I had walked into the old Black's home, which was understandable; last time they saw me I was joking about joining the death eaters.

Although the shock on their faces had been accompanied by very different emotions on each.

Fred's held reticence. During our school years, he had never liked me; I would dare to say he was scared of me, even.

George's gaze, on the other hand, held hope —maybe even excitement— which was comforting.

In our first year, I had managed to draw George's interest, and for three years he was adamant about Slytherins not being 'all that bad'.

George's friendship was the thread I was hanging on; he was the only thing stopping from taking the easy way and live up to my name.

The thread was cut after he asked his mother to bring me over during Christmas, which ended up in her forbidding him to talk to me. He, being George Weasley, ignored his mom's pleads and twin's scolding and still tried his best to stay close to me, so I did what was right and, at the end of our fifth year, I cut ties with him.

It hurt more than I would dare to admit.

After our drifting apart, I was forced to completely rely on Slytherins. And you see, Slytherins, as 11 year-old George would say, aren't all that bad, but the ones my name attracted were.

They were bad sort —the worst—, and keeping that company around after our sixth year wasn't the best record to have, but Merlin's sake, I was there, I had volunteered— people change.

"Son." His father warned Fred, well aware this wasn't the time, though he obviously wanted to side with him. "Don't start again."

"Someone has yet to tell me why is she here?"

"She has a name." I hissed, unable to stop myself.

"Which is why you shouldn't be here, Lestrange." The name rolled out of his tongue like poison. "She's not one to trust."

"Oi, she's willing to risk her life, isn't she?" George's words seemed to be meant to calm his twin's temper, though his warm eyes did land on mines with a reassuring look.

"Yeah but for whom?" I tried to stay quiet as Moody had asked me too, but Fred was making it quite difficult. "If something goes wrong—"

"Weasley!" Mad-eye's tone was dry as he bursted into the room. "Are you questioning my judgment?" Fred scoffed, but stayed quiet.

"If we're throwing in the surnames, you're gonna wanna know her mum's my auntie." Tonks spoke, folding her arms.

"But you're a Hufflepuff." He was quick to respond, giving me a disgusted look. "She's a Serpent."

"And you're still a mouthful, aren't you?!" I snapped, stepping forward, though Tonks gave me a lazy tug before I could get to Fred.

"Wanna fight, Lestrange?" He had taken a couple of steps in my direction already when George yanked his twins arm.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He yelled, giving his brother a push. "She's here for Harry! She's helping! What else do you want?!"

"Oh my gosh, Georgie— get over your teen crush already, she's not on our team!" George's knuckles went visibly white, unlike his cheeks, which turned red.

"Are you done making a scene? The three of you." Bill questioned in a calm tone, resting against the window's bench. "I don't fancy the idea either, but we need help, Fred, so shut your mouth because we have things to do."

"Pity, I was enjoying the teen drama." Moody teased before grabbing his flask and the ones who would take the Polyjuice potion moved to stand in line.

"Y/n." George's hand brushed my hand, drawing my attention to him as we stood besides one another. "I'm glad you're here." He whispered with a side smile.

"Missed me much?" I couldn't help but grin back, bumping his arm with mine. I stole a proper look at him and thought I might as well ask before the mission. "So... Teen crush huh?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him, though I could feel my own face flushing.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't fancy George —could someone blame me?—, and the idea of those feelings not being unrequited was very appealing.

He only threw his head back and looked away, the half smile growing wider and more bashful. "We'll talk about it at the Burrow." He assured me, taking the flask with his right hand and squeezing mine with his left.

"If we don't die before that." I was joking, but fear was shaking me to the core.

"We won't." He looked at the potion disgusted and gave me a peeked at me saying, "You have to hear me embarrass myself first." And with a wink, he drank the potion and passed it to me.

Gosh, I couldn't get over the mission to hear him 'embarrass' himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

The first five minutes were calm, despite all of us being on edge. We kept checking on each other, dreading if we lost sight of someone, that someone would banish.

The storm came when we had to dive into the dark clouds.

Funnily enough, I did think it was a literal storm before entering; oh, what I would have given for it to be a literal storm.

Black, cloaked intruders flew among us, making us divide in the pairs we had been assigned to.

Lupin started casting protegos and hexes to everyone that got too close while I tried to take down as many enemies as possible.

A couple of yelled warnings were heard when both Moody and the real Harry had entered the ambush.

"WATCH OUT!" Tonks screamed, flying past me with Ron at her tail. "REMUS!" She made a signal to her husband "ESCORT!" I got the hint; we were supposed to clear Moody's and Y/n's way so it would confuse our attackers while Tonks and Shacklebolt made sure to get Harry out of there.

"ON MY LEFT!" Lupin shouted over the chaos, changing to my right for me to be by Y/n's side.

"WE'RE FUCKED!" She yelled dropping her flight to dodge an Avada Kedavra.

"WE'LL MANAGE!" I automatically dropped my flight with hers too, which was a bad decision, since we had gotten rid of the protection provided by Lupin, Mad-eye and Bill and Fleur.

Soon enough three death eaters came flying towards us.

"STUPEFY!" another Harry with the voice of Fred passed by us, closely followed by my dad.

"GO BACK UP!" Y/n was quicker than me following my father's instructions; when I did though, I realised the little formation we had going on was gone.

Suddenly, all we could hear were screams; it felt as if someone was missing but I blamed it on everyone flying around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Tonks almost crashed against me on her way down; Ron was nowhere near me, nor Lupin.

We were outnumbered, and instead of moving forward, we were stuck in the grey clouds, trying not to die.

It took me a hot second, a crash against a death eater and a couple of hexes to get to Lupin, and even when I did, it was a hard task to keep track of him.

I had just taken out someone in my way when I caught a glimpse of something my eyes refused to believe.

Snape.

Our bloody professor was trying to kill us.

I felt the need to laugh at the situation.

"GEORGE!" It was Y/n's voice snapping me out of it, although her actions shocked me even more.

Y/n casted a spell on me, pushing my broomstick to the left and consequently making me crash against Lupin and lose balance.

Then something happened, something my mind didn't quite process.

At first it felt like a slap, but the pain stung my side as if someone had sliced me with a blade.

I didn't hear my own cry, nor Lupin's desperate 'help'; I didn't feel his hands struggling to take a firm hold of me, nor my own shakily reaching to my side, searching for an injury I didn't want to find.

A second after that, everything was black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

As soon as my father and I apparated in the fields of our home, I ran into the house. For some unexplainable reason, it felt as if something wasn't right.

A couple of steps into the house were enough for that 'something' to strike me. George had been laid on the settee, barely conscious; blood was covering the side of his face, neck and left shoulder, making his hair and clothes stick to his skin.

I was left speechless at the sight, my eyes welling up while I dragged my feet towards my twin.

"Mad-Eye is dead." Bill's words, despite sounding far away, made the gears in my head turn.

Lupin was quicker than me, though, "I told you we couldn't trust a Lestrange!"

"Remus! we don't know—" Tonks tried to calm him down, just to be cut off by Bill.

"Mad-Eye and Lestrange traveled between us and" he gestured at our wounded brother, "Remus and George." His jaw twitching let me know that he was desperately trying to stay calm. "Mad-Eye is dead and my brother just lost an ear, who is it if not bloody Lestrange, Dora?"

"Bill..." Fleur held onto her fiance's arm in an attempt to ground him.

"Did you see her disapparating?" Tonks's point was logical and hopeful.

George would have sided with her.

My eyes fixed on my wounded twin again. He was as pale as a corpse now, and the absence of his ear was way more noticeable now that my mother had begun to remove the blood.

George would have sided with Tonks because he wanted to trust Y/n, and he couldn't even speak because of that same reason.

Since everyone was arguing, they missed the flash of someone apparating near the front door.

I didn't.

Before I knew it, I was running outside with my wand in hand, Lupin and Bill following me instantly when they realised what I had just seen.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" Y/n's wand flew to my hand even before I could properly see her.

My rushed march came to a halt when I was a couple of feet away from her, making Bill bump into me; she was as pale as George, maybe more.

She took a seemingly calm, deep breath before attempting to walk.

Luckily, I saw the pools of blood on her shirt and stepped to reach her before she could touch the ground.

"Oh my..." Lupin covered his mouth with both his hands and Bill stood frozen at the sight of the girl in my arms. "MOLLY!!" my old professor yelled at the top of his lungs, going as livid as me.

We shouldn't talk on impulse, I told myself, rushing into the kitchen with Y/n in my arms. A series of gasps and regretful whispers broke the silence while I laid her on the dining table.

"Y/n?" George's trembling voice was heartbreaking, and, as my dad forced him to stay on the couch, I prayed the girl in my arms would survive.

"Oh Lord..." My mother muttered, examining her. It wasn't only her shirt stained with blood; her left leg and arm were too. "Oh dear..."

"She took the blow." Lupin ran his hands through his hair, understandably stressed. After a couple of seconds, her turned to my dad and commanded, "Get him up. Quick— go get him up." His eyes stared right into my soul and I dreaded the worst, but still obeyed and helped my dad drag George to the dining table.

I heard Lupin telling Bill something about Sectumsempra, and my heart sunk.

She took the blow.

"No..." George's murmur was close to a cry, but it was enough for Y/n's eyes to snap open.

"George." tears were effortlessly streaming down her cheeks at the sight of him. "You're... A-alive..."

"Please stay" My brother fell on his knees, reaching for Y/n's bloody hand with his own. We all looked away to give them some kind of intimacy, except from my mother, who was still trying to fix the poor girl.

I heard them both whispering sweet nothings with shattered voices until only one of them died out. I looked over to Tonks, whose eyes were gleaming with tears, and then to Lupin.

I couldn't bring myself to look at George.

After a moment of intense sobbing, my dad managed to pull my twin away from the corpse, and we carried him back to the settee.

I stayed with him the night, holding his hand and assuring him it was not his fault, but I knew my words would have little effect on his state; after all, he had been in love with Y/n for years.

All those years he had spent trying to convince all of us that Y/n was a good person, that we should give her a chance; all those years begging our mother to bring her over because she wanted to see our home.

Now her body was lying on our kitchen and I knew none of us would forgive ourselves for misjudging her.

READER'S P. O. V.

"Nervous?" A tall, redheaded kid appeared besides me; I supposed he didn't know my name by the warmth and curiosity with which his eyes stared at me.

"Aren't we all?" I replied with an anxious laugh.

He seemed to think for a moment before nodding. "Fair point, though I'll probably go into Gryffindor." He assured me with a proud smile, causing my head to cast down. "What is it?"

"Oh nothing," I shrugged, aware I would not be able to befriend that sweet boy with warm eyes. "I think I'll be sorted into Slytherin."

"Nonsense!" His intentions had been obviously to reassure me, but when he realised his response only made it worse, he added. "It'd be wicked to have a Slytherin friend, though." My eyes widened at his words; did he just— "I'm George, by the way."

"I'm Y/n."

"That's a very pretty name." Professor Mcgonagall led us into the Great Hall, and before I knew what was happening, George's hand was holding mine. "It'll be fine."

The lighting of the Castle changed once the Great Hall's doors opened; a bright, white light seemed to be coming out of it.

"Wait!" My hand gripped George's before he could leave my side. "Can you hold my hand? I-I'm scared." My voice no longer sounded like a 11 year old.

For some reason I didn't comprehend, my eyes were watery, making the view in front of me blurry.

"Don't be scared, darling." When I turned to George, I didn't see a kid; it was him, in the expensive suit I had seen him mere hours ago. "I'm here."

I just nodded and, swallowing my fear, took a step ahead, and then another one, and another, until I reached the Great Hall.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 294: A Half-Assed Escape

Previously on BnHA: Mirio was all “SURPRISE I’M BACK THANKS TO OUR RESIDENT SEVEN-YEAR-OLD WHO RECENTLY EARNED HER BACHELOR’S OF BEING A TOTAL BADASS.” Kacchan was all, “you know what, Dabi’s been trending long enough, time to remind the fandom what a real G looks like,” and he blasted his little bleeding body back into the fray and was all “FROM HERE ON OUT CALL ME DYNAMIGHT!!” Mirio was all, “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... oh, you’re serious,” and Kacchan was all “!!”, and so that’s the story of how my son got murdered twice in one day. Meanwhile in the Todoroki Drama Zone, Deku was all “STOP MURDERING MY FRIEND” and Dabi was all “THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” and fandom had a whole big debate about Whether Or Not Dabi Trying To Murder Deku’s Friends And Mentors Is Any Of Deku’s Business, which went exactly how you think it went. Anyway, so then Deku yelled at Dabi, and Endeavor was all moved by his manly words and randomly went to go uppercut Machia in the chin. And, seeing as how the Momoserum finally chose that exact moment to kick in, Machia is now down for the count.

Today on BnHA: The Miriosquad handles the Nearly High End Noumus, freeing up Jeanist to jasphyxiate (okay that one doesn’t really work so well) the rest of the League. Compress is all “TIME FOR THIS MILD-MANNERED SIDE CHARACTER VILLAIN TO SHINE”, except that by “shine” what he actually means is “use his quirk to punch a literal hole right through his own ass to free himself.” The rest of the chapter is basically just a back and forth between him and Jeanist, with Jeanist trying to recapture him, and Compress repeatedly thwarting him by chopping more holes out of himself because HE’S FRESH OUT OF FUCKS, AND THE ONES AT THE STORE ARE ALL SOLD OUT, MOTHERFUCKERS. Anyway, so with Compress basically dying and all, Horikoshi is all “you know what that means”, and delivers a freshly-baked villain flashback revealing that Compress is a descendant of Harima Ouji, a.k.a. the Peerless Thief, a.k.a. some famous guy whom Gentle mentioned this one time for like two seconds back in the day. The chapter ends with Compress finally demasking himself and dumping Tomura back onto the ground, a.k.a. The Worst Possible Place For Tomura To Be. ( •﹏•)

WHY IS CRUST HERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

-- OH WAIT, SHIT. OH

AIZAWAAAA you’re alive and receiving medical help thank GOD. HOW MANY EYES DO YOU HAVE. AND MIRKO!! HOW MANY LIMBS DO YOU HAVE, OMG

so is this Aizawa dreaming about Crust’s final moments, then?? jesus. with All Due Respect to Crust’s memory, does Aizawa not already have enough misplaced guilt on his conscience as it is?? “nope, we’re gonna keep piling it on. that’s all he is now. three limbs, an indeterminate number of eyes, sexy hair, and Guilt” well shit

motherfucker y’all really out here placing an oxygen mask on Gran Torino’s corpse. fucking shounen characters. each one comes with a lifetime warranty

DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI WHY DO YOU KEEP SHOWING THESE CLOSE-UPS OF HAWKS’S UNCONSCIOUS FACE ALL WHUMPED OUT AND EXHAUSTED. HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS ARE WE GOING TO GET. ARE YOU PLANNING ON KILLING ME WITH THE UPCOMING CONVALESCENCE ARC, BECAUSE IF SO, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME AHEAD OF TIME SO I CAN MAKE A WILL

for a moment I considered going back and checking my previous recaps to count how many times I’ve already made a joke about Dabi’s fire incinerating Hawks’s wings but not touching so much as a hair on his five o’clock shadow, so that I could calculate whether or not I could possibly get away with making that same joke one more time. but then I realized I could just do it in this kind of roundabout way I’m doing right now instead. so there you have it

FFFFFFFMT LADY AND MIDNIGHT NOOOOO

PLEASE BE ALIVE. PLEASE RESPECT THE SIGN ON THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING. THE ONE THAT SAYS “NO LADY CHARACTERS ALLOWED TO DIE”, WITH THE FINE PRINT AT THE BOTTOM “AT LEAST NOT UNTIL HORIKOSHI GIVES US LIKE TWENTY-SIX MORE OF THEM FIRST IF THAT’S THE WAY HE WANTS TO PLAY IT.” IT’S A GOOD SIGN, PLEASE RESPECT ITS WISHES!!

so anyway though, Jeanist is giving a speech about how god knows how many people all worked together to bring Machia down. and now RHA is getting in on those fabric puns too, I see. “A SINGLE STRAND MAY BE THIN BUT TOGETHER THEY FORM A STRONG ROPE” oh so you think you guys are funny eh? I’m a frayed knot

MEANWHILE EXCUSE ME BUT WHY ARE YOU FUCKING CRYING BLOOD, HOLY SHIT

fffffff. so much for him taking over as the Number One once all this is over. so let’s just recap real quick, because Horikoshi has long since made it clear that one of his plot goals for this arc is to wipe out every single member of the Billboard Top Ten. so how we doin?

Endeavor - was just figuratively eviscerated in front of the entire nation by his homicidal zombiepunk son. also burnt half to death and possibly down a lung. will almost certainly be forced to retire after this one way or the other

Hawks - lying prettily in a medical tent. wings status: gone. hair status: still perfect

Jeanist - WELL I THOUGHT HE WAS FINE BUT APPARENTLY HE’S OUT HERE DYING, JESUS CHRIST

Edgeshot - MIA, last seen fighting Re-Destro. I really want him to have kicked RD’s ass because fuck that guy, but realistically they probably fought to a draw at best

Mirko - alive but in critical condition and missing something like 1.5 limbs

Crust - dead, currently haunting Aizawa’s traumatized dreams. now he’s gonna be triggered the rest of his life by people giving him the thumbs up, THANKS A LOT

Kamui Woods - was set on fire which is His Weakness. thoughts and prayers

Wash - last seen floating hospital patients to safety as Tomura’s wave of decay descended towards him. probably dead ffff

Old Man Samurai - haven’t seen this fucker in a hot minute, who even knows where he’s wandered off to

Ryuukyuu - currently being treated for her wounds, looked pretty bad off. but it’s hard to tell how hurt she is since most of the injuries were acquired in her transformed state. SHE BETTER GET WELL SOON

anyways, so yeah. so much for the top ten. guess that’s another reason Horikoshi brought Mirio back now, huh

so there’s a big panel of everyone fighting the Noumu while Machia lies there all “blurgh.” good riddance my dude. it took like twenty chapters and a hundred people to stop this guy so I really fucking hope he stays down. you’ve had your fun

anyway so Jeanist is sending another steel thread towards Dabi! and he’s all “just a bit more!!” fklklj this is gonna go real well isn’t it

meanwhile Mirio’s fighting a Nearly High End with all of these weird rock formations jutting out of its skin. go on and kick his ass then, Mirio

“each of these guys is probably just as strong as the Noumu from Kyuushuu” hold on I thought Ujiko or Tomura or someone said that wasn’t the case? not that Mirio would know I suppose. anyways let’s just hope he’s wrong cuz if not these kids are probably screwed

kLSDKFHLSKHGLKLK OH MY GODDDD

IIDA FUCKING TENYA YOU’RE A PEACH. THINKS THE NAME IS OUTRAGEOUS, CHECK. USES IT ANYWAY, CHECK. “JUST BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T BE SUPPORTIVE.” WHAT A CLASS ACT

AND KACCHAN IS RESPONDING WITH AS MUCH DIGNITY AS HE CAN MUSTER

WOW, SON. IT’S ALMOST AS THOUGH YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO, OR SOMETHING!! although listen up, real talk, the fact that Kacchan of all people can’t muster the energy to yell at someone questioning his ability to kick ass is HIGHKEY troubling and we may be in need of an intervention here soon :/

now Jeanist is finally turning his attention to the League! was... was it not already on the League. omg

ACTUAL SCREAMING AHHHHHH FUCK FUCKLK LK AHHLKHKFFFF

hey so um. what the actual fucked up hell. my soul left my body. imagine if you saw the reflection of this panel on your bedroom window. you would never sleep again

OKAY RHA TRANSLATORS ARE YOU HAVING YOURSELF A LAUGH AGAIN

THIS CANNOT BE WHAT HE’S ACTUALLY SAYING RIGHT. BUT IT’S RIGHT IN THAT UNCANNY VALLEY OF NOT BEING QUITE SURE, THOUGH... (　ﾟдﾟ)

(ETA: just a next-day clarification here, apparently my sleep-deprived ADHD word-skipping brain completely skipped right over the “a” in that last panel, so what I read was, “and Shigaraki’s limp noodle.” so yeah, the moral of this story is always read the speech bubble carefully before you start making running jokes throughout the rest of your post, folks.)

oh wow he’s really freaking out lmao

to be fair though, I’d argue that Dabi has gotten pre-tty close at this point :’) thrilled for him, really I am

but anyway, well then figure something out you big dramatic robot-armed fiend. didn’t you just say you could touch your own ass? can you not just Compress yourself to break free?? does it not work on you? or would you be stuck afterwards lol

(ETA: I was picturing him compressing his entire body at once, not just chunks of it. ghhhlkh.)

um

holy shit Jeanist. are you stupidly trying to cut off their air, or are you going for more of a sleeper hold (jleeper hold??) thing instead. the latter would be way smarter and faster and probably safer as well just saying

but unless Spinner is just being super dramatic, it sure looks like he’s fucking strangling them djslkjlk. this will certainly cement his popularity among the villain stans. good thing you’re not running for office any time soon bud

anyway so I have no idea what these guys are trying to do now. what is this

do you even have till the count of 5 at this rate. I mean

OH MY GOODNESS

HE’S REALLY FUCKING DOING IT!! HE’S COMPRESSING HIS BUTT!! OMFG. TOMURA HIDE YOUR NOODLE!!!

WHAT THE FUCK

DID YOU COMPRESS A PIECE OF YOUR OWN ASS. FUCKING WHAT. PUT THIS MAN’S PICTURE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO THE WORD “LOYALTY”, HOLY CRAP

HOLY SHIT COMPRESS

“HOLY SHIT DID THAT GUY JUST PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH HIS OWN ASS IN ORDER TO SAVE HIS VILLAIN PALS. FUCK IT, HE DESERVES TO ESCAPE”

jeez, talk about... A HALF-ASSED ESCAPE ATTEMPT :D :D :D hahaha. but real talk though, Horikoshi has clearly never tried to leap twelve feet straight up in the air multiple times in succession with only half his glutes though. everyone, I regret to inform you that this panel right here on the left may be slightly unrealistic

also where the hell is he going to go?? did you pack a jetpack away in one of those little marbles sir. and what about Dabi?? and Skeptic too, I guess, but we don’t really care about Skeptic

(ETA: at this point I had to stop reading for about two hours because I had to go out and take care of something; that’s also why this is being posted later than usual lol. anyways so where were we.)

oh my lord

the existence of a translator’s note here implies that the earlier line about Compress being able to reach Tomura’s junk was not, in fact, ad-libbed. hmm. hmmmmmmmm

anyway so now he’s grabbing Compress again because OF COURSE HE IS, so now we’re right back to square one! except now Tomura and Spinner are secured inside of little marbles, and presumably Compress is the only one who can release them

oh nevermind he’s just maiming himself again instead, SHEESH

Skeptic a man is dying please have some goddamn respect

so, uh. is he gonna die, though??

I really can’t tell wtf is going on here, this is the most confusing the art has been in a while. Horikoshi put all of his spoons into that creepyass close-up panel earlier, that bastard

OMG WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS

DON’T FUCKING TELL ME THE “COMPRESS IS RELATED TO THIS THIEF GUY FROM OLDEN TIMES” THEORY IS ACTUALLY TRUE WHAAAAAAT. OH SHIT

so apparently Harima was a Robin Hood type guy who stole from... heroes?? wtf. are heroes the 1% in this scenario. y’all didn’t have any Fortune 500 CEOs to steal from?

THAT’S THE BLOOD THAT FLOWS THROUGH YOU, OH SHIT. and in a related oh shit, the fact that we are getting a Compress flashback now of all times doesn’t bode super well for him. ffff

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKIS ARE STILL TODOROKI-ING

listen here boy if you touch one freaking hair on Shouto’s candy cane head I swear to god --

WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY!!!

SHOUTO NOOOOOO. WTF YOU’RE LITERALLY THE ONE GUY WHOSE WEAKNESS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FIRE. DABI YOU SHIT, YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF!! I’M PRINTING OUT A COPY OF THAT COMPRESS PANEL!!! KEEP AN EYE OUT ON THAT BEDROOM WINDOW YOU PUNK!!!

SO NOW POOR SHOUTO IS UNCONSCIOUS AND FALLING!! SOMEONE SAVE HIM!! WHO CATCHES THE CATCHER

COMPRESS LITERALLY HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS HAPPENING

PLEASE DON’T CALL TOMURA LEADER OF THE “PLF” YOU KNOW I CAN’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU DO THAT. ARE YOU DYING. ARE YOU JUST A FUCKING HEAD NOW WTF

(ETA: “masks are removable, makeste” you know what it’s been a long day okay lmao. or I suppose Compress is really the one who is lmao.)

GASPPPPPP

okay. okay. looooool okay then

WHY WERE YOU COVERING THIS SEXY MOP OF HAIR UNDER THAT HOOD YOU TOOL. IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED SO GOOD WITH THE TOP HAT. I’M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW

as if it wasn’t enough for him to demask himself, he also had to get all shirtless and then do this weird attempt at a sexypose too huh

hard to say exactly how much of his torso is currently missing, but safe to say that’s proooooooobably not good. :///// fuck

on the other hand, Kacchan also has a torso hole and he’s still flying around like he just drank a dozen red bulls, so

this man lost his ass and he’s still out here monologuing like it’s the last two minutes of The Prestige. one might say he is monologuing his ass off

so he let Spinner and Tomura free, but is Dabi still trapped in his marble?? wasn’t he all on fire and stuff?? hopefully he can still turn off his quirk in there because if not that’s a pretty fucked up way to die. somewhere out there Snatch’s ghost is all “YEAH I’LL SAY.” oh how the turntables

last but not least, sooooooo. Tomura. back on the ground. that’s. um. ...shiiiiiiiit

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Forever

One Shot: How To Dismantle Bucky Barnes

Intro: Bucky is acting kinda stressed out. Both Sam and Katie thinks they know what the problem is. The only issue is, how to fix it? Easy when you’re a Stark with a very manipulative mind…

Warnings: Bad language. Smut! (NSFW) and no under 18s.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x OFC Jen O’Donahue, Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Rogers (nee Stark)

Ok so this takes place in the SSB universe after the events of Endgame, later on in 2024. You don’t have to have read that series to understand or enjoy this but the characters will make more sense if you have.

This is based on @jtargaryen18​ ‘s master piece “How to Dismantle Steve Rogers” and I thank her WHOLEHEARTEDLY for letting me use her format and idea. And I’m not gonna lie, I had a lot of fun with this one!!

If you are currently reading Stark Spangled Banner as it is being reposted then this contains MAJOR SPOILERS and I recommend you wait until you’ve finished so you don’t spoil anything!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Forever Masterlist // Main Masterlist

 September 2024

“You’re an idiot…” Sam’s voice carried up the hallway to the kitchen as they entered the Rogers household “A total, moronic idiot…” “Quit it Sam.” Bucky’s voice dripped with annoyance. Katie glanced at Steve who arched an eyebrow at his wife the pair of them wondering why they had given them an access key each…

“I didn’t think it was possible but you actually are as dumb as you look.” Sam snorted.

“One more word out of you and I’m gonna kick your stupid, seagull ass-”

“Err, we can hear you in here!” Steve called loudly, cutting his friend off “And there are young ears about.”

There was some muffled grumbling, followed by what sounded like someone being shoved into the wall before Bucky walked into the kitchen, face dark as thunder. Sam followed behind, grin spreading from cheek to cheek as he rubbed at his chest.

Bucky stopping to gently tickle Rori’s cheek where she sat in the high-chair, her legs flailing as she was still in the bouncer seat, not being big enough or old enough yet to sit up. She gave him a huge smile which melted his heart as he returned it.

“Hey Sweetie!” he grinned, and she waggled her legs and arms excitedly. After a few more soft words to his god-daughter he turned and ruffled Jamie’s hair as Sam offered the 4 year old a hi-five which he eagerly took.

“Damned Buck!” Katie looked at him from where she was plating up food. “You get a hair-cut?”

Bucky flushed slightly and ran his hands through his short crop “Yeah…”

“Looks good.” she smiled and he beamed at her.

“Fancied a change.” he shrugged.

“Hasn’t worked, you’re still a dumbass.” Sam said.

“What’s a dub-mass?” Jamie piped up from his seat at the table. Steve gave an exasperated groan.

“Nothing honey.” Katie said, dropping a plate of stir-fry in front of her son as Steve shot Sam a glare “Uncle Sam is just being silly, don’t worry about it.”

Jamie shrugged, placated by the food and began to tuck in. Katie dodged round Steve making her way to the stove, whilst her husband grabbed the pre-expressed bottle and unfastened their 4 month old daughter from her chair. She grabbed eagerly at his beard as he sat down at the table and began to feed her, smiling softly as she eagerly took the milk, her eyes focussing all the time on his.

“You guys want eats?” Katie asked, looking at the two men. “I made plenty.” It was a stupid question really, as both men nodded eagerly and dropped into the spare seats round the table. Once Steve had finished feeding Aurora and Jamie was cleaned up and in the lounge watching TV, Katie dished out the adults’ food before she handed them a plate each. She gave Rori her rabbit comforter toy to keep her occupied and they all began to tuck in.

No more was said about Bucky’s encounter with the hairstylist until much later, when Jamie was tucked up for the night and the 4 adults were on the veranda round the fire pit, Rori snoozing in her basket which was stood on the stand just inside the kitchen door where Katie and Steve could see her clearly.

“Where’s Emmy?” Sam asked and Katie snorted as Steve shifted slightly.

“She’s on a date.” he grumbled.

“With who?” Bucky asked.

“Parker.” “As in Peter Parker?” Bucky frowned “The Spider Kid?”

Steve nodded.

“Punk.” Bucky snorted.

“Aww he’s a good kid.” Katie said, “Leave him alone.”

“She’s too young.” Steve grumbled and Katie laughed.

“Baby, she’s sevenet this year.”

Steve shrugged. “I don’t care.”

Katie shook her head and watched as Sam and Bucky were bickering again.

“Ok, what is going on?” she frowned “Sam why you giving Buck such a hard time?” Sam grinned “Because he is an idiot. He went on another date with Jennifer last night, and then she asked him back to hers…and he literally burned the poor girl.”

Bucky growled at Sam “I swear to God…” “Burned?” Steve frowned.

“Yeah, get this…he’s walked her home and she asks him in, so he goes in, and then he does a bunk.”

Bucky glared at him “That’s not what happened…”

Katie frowned, she hadn’t spoken to Jennifer that day and was quite surprised, actually, that if something had gone wrong her friend hadn’t called.

“Buck!” Steve sighed, shaking his head. “You promised when you started dating you wouldn’t let this get awkward…”

“Oh Shut up Stevie.” Bucky snarled out his name “Just because you’re all loved up now, let’s not forget how hopeless you used to be around dames. Do you really want me tell the story about the Chorus Girl who tried for 3 months to get a bit of the old Star Spangled D and you were too fucking dumb to realise?”

Steve narrowed his eyes as Katie and Sam looked at each other with glee.

“No.” He glared at Bucky, at the same time his wife and friend nodded.

“Yes,”

“Absolutely.”

“Oh Captain Rogers, I think I have something in my eye!” Bucky said, his voice airy as he imitated a women, batting his eyelashes ridiculously “Oh Captain Rogers, can you zip my skirt up for me, its stuck and I’m scared I’ll rip the material…Oh Captain Rogers, I just got caught in that rain, I’m all wet and my top is sticking to me…” “Fuck off.” Steve said, as Sam and Katie both laughed. Bucky looked at Katie shaking his head. “And you tell me this Punk he made the first move on you?” he shook his head “You must have been really fucking obvious…” “Well, it took him long enough.” Katie grinned as she stood up, dropping her arms round Steve’s neck and pecking his cheek.

“What is this? Pick on Steve night?” Steve pouted as his wife headed over to the bar at the side of the veranda, pulling out 4 more beers.

“Just like every night.” Sam chuckled.  

She gave a beer to Sam and then Steve, both of who thanked her before she made her way over to Bucky was positively glowering. She handed him a beer and he looked up at her mumbling a thanks.

“Buck.” She consoled softly, whilst Steve and Sam were bickering well naturedly “They’re only teasing.”

He sighed “I know, I just…didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“And that’s not because you were with Jen, obviously.” She raised her eyebrows. “Dreams?”

He raised his eyebrows in a confirmative manner.

She sat down next to him. “That have any bearing on why you cut your hair?” He gave a small chuckle “I swear to God you can read minds.”

“No, just people.” She smiled

“I just, well I wanna feel more like me, you know?” he shrugged.

She smiled “Yeah, I get it. You know, if it makes you feel any better Steve had nightmares for years you know. About the War, crashing into the ice.”

He looked at her “Yeah?” “Yeah.” she nodded.

“How did he get them to stop?”

“Honestly?” she smiled “Sleeping with me. Said having me in the bed made him feel safe.” Bucky snorted “Yeah, not sure Steve would go for that somehow.” Katie smacked him gently round the back of the head and he laughed, before his face became serious again. “They’d stopped in Wakanda.” he signed, looking at the label on his bottle. “But since coming back…” “You think we didn’t have them post the Last Stand?” she looked at him. “Jesus Bucky, I kept re-living that moment I thought we were all dead for months and seeing Tony snap over and over again…” She trailed off, taking a deep breath “We’re human at the end of the day, it’s natural and you have horrors in your past that even the most sympathetic of people cannot begin to comprehend.”

He bit his lip and looked down at his lap.

“Look, if you ever wanna talk, about anything without these two being around…” she jerked her thumb at Steve and Sam “You know where I am.”

“Thanks.” he said, flashing her a smile. She patted his knee gently and then stood up, making her way over to where Steve was sat, dropping onto his knee lightly.

Draining his beer Bucky stood up “I’m gonna take off.”

Steve frowned “How come?”

“Tired.” he mumbled “Katie, thanks for dinner.”

“Any time.” she said, making to stand but he waved her away.

“I’ll see myself out.”

Grabbing his jacket he strode over the patio, up the steps and into the house.

There was a pause as the 3 of them watched him go.

“What’s up with him?” Steve asked.

Before Katie could reply, Sam chipped in.

“He’s backed up.”

“What?” Steve frowned.

“He needs to get laid.” Katie replied, shrugging.

Since everyone had returned, she had seen how Bucky was getting more and more uptight, especially around her and Steve. Whenever Steve had shown her a bit of affection she had noticed his friend would avert his eyes or make an excuse to leave the room. And she knew it wasn’t because he was uncomfortable around PDAs or anything like that. No, it was frustration. That his best friend was getting some and he wasn’t. 

Then, one evening last year she’d noticed a subtle change in his frosty, outward demeanour when Jen had come round for dinner.

And thus, Katie Rogers plan to dismantle Bucky Barnes had been born.

Step 1- The Right Bait

Setting it up had been easy.  Katie had instantly spotted the attraction between the pair. She’d seen the chatter at the dinner table, the way Jennifer had tucked her hair behind her ears when Bucky was talking to her, a Double Tuck nonetheless.  So, a few months into the new year, once things had settled down after Steve had taken his 15 year holiday back in the 50s through 70s, Katie had seized the opportunity to send Bucky to Jennifer’s coffee shop- Has-Bean. She knew Monday’s were delivery days for the woman, and 9 times out of 10 Steve went along to help her out with the heavy lifting because Steve Rogers was nothing if not a gentleman, and after seeing her struggle one Monday when they had called in for an early morning coffee, had taken it upon himself to help out. But not that Monday. Oh no, Katie had used her pregnancy to her advantage, claiming she wasn’t feeling too good and she’d been clingy, real clingy, giving Steve no alternative but to stay at home. But rather than leave Jenifer in the lurch, Katie had suggested to Steve that maybe Bucky could help.

So Steve had asked him to go along.

And he had.

And Bucky kept going each Monday from then on. Without fail.  

But there had been no date arranged. So Katie had stepped it up a little bit. On Steve’s birthday, the Rogers’ had hosted a gathering for their friends and family. Casual enough to be relaxed, but in the same breath everyone had used it as an excuse to don a nice outfit. They had stood in the garden watching the fireworks and Bucky had given Jenifer a hesitant kiss on the cheek. The red head had flushed and, emboldened by champagne, asked Bucky for a real kiss. And in the dark of the garden, away from prying eyes (or so he thought, as Katie had seen everything) he’d obliged. And a few days later they’d gone on their first date.

Problem solved, right?

Wrong.

Katie really tried not to be nosey, she really did. But she’d enrolled Brooke, Jen’s daughter and Emmy’s best friend into keeping her up to date on happenings, the teenager being over the moon her mom was finally dating again. But so far Brooke had brought her no news that Bucky had even entered their home, let alone that things were progressing slightly beyond the dating stage despite the fact they were now almost 3 months down the line. 

Katie knew that, despite what Steve had told her about Bucky before the war,  Bucky wasn’t in this for a quick hook-up. Yes he was still the cheeky James Barnes of old, but she knew from the times he had opened up to her that he wasn’t that person to chase a skirt for simple gratification anymore. Whilst under mind control with Hydra, to keep him satisfied they either brought him women or taken him to women. Willing paid women, yes,  but the memories of the quick fucks on dirty mattresses in cells and run down whore houses stuck with him and made him feel sick. Since then there had been one woman, in Bucharest, that he’d sort of had a thing with but that had been cut short when he’d found out she was married. He hadn’t needed that sort of trouble so he had ended it. 

So, with all that in mind, plus the fact Jennifer wasn’t the type for a casual hook up either, it wasn’t totally surprising that things were going slow, but 2 and a bit months of dating was just fucking ridiculous. Even her and Steve had ‘done stuff’ before that! And it wasn’t like the chemistry wasn’t there. Katie had watched the two of them when she saw them together. Bucky eyed Jennifer with a thirst Katie had seen a few times in Steve’s eyes when he was having filthy thoughts. A stare at her ass or tits here, the biting or licking of a lip there all confirmed to her the fact that the Winter Soldier was backed up.

Sam had called it.

And Jennifer wasn’t the problem. When Bucky wasn’t paying attention the red head looked at him like she wanted to climb him like a tree. 

So what exactly did she need to do here?

“You ok?” Steve asked, jerking her from her thoughts with a squeeze to her thigh.

“Yeah, sorry, was just thinking.” she smiled at him, thinking back to the first time her and Steve had made out after a baseball game and a few drinks in a bar…

And then she had a plan. A brilliant plan.

She knew just what to do…

Step 2.  Proper Motivation

Letting out a sigh Jen served the next customer, lost in her own little world. She’d been seeing Bucky now for a few months and was still trying to get her head around that. She was seeing Bucky Barnes. The Winter Soldier, Avenger. But she had quickly realised that behind the legend and the gruff exterior he was just, well, sweet.

She’d first met Bucky one evening at Katie’s house and had enjoyed his company, but it wasn’t until a month or so later when he had turned up at the coffee shop in Steve’s place that she’d really talked to him properly. 

“Well, well, well, you decided to pay me a visit!” Jennifer grinned.

“Yeah,  err…hi!” Bucky smiled at her “Steve mentioned he normally helps on a Monday and seeing as he’s not available I thought I’d offer, you know, with the delivery…”

She beamed “You are a life saver!”

He’d helped her move the boxes and unpack, sharing easy chat with her about her business, New York in general, his time in the 40s with Steve…and by the end of it her cheeks were aching from laughing in a way she hadn’t laughed in years.

“Anyway, I think that we’ve earned a break” she said after they’d finished an hour or so later.  “What can I get you?” she gestured to the menus written in chalk on the wall above the machines.

“What’s good?” he asked, frowning slightly.

“Everything, I make it.” she smirked and he gave a huff of a laugh “But it depends. You got a sweet tooth?��

“I’m not averse to the odd bit of sugar.” he grinned back, and she’d felt her cheeks flush at the fact he was flirting with her.

She let out a soft laugh, smiling. “In that case I recommend the caramel macchiato, and one of my mint choc brownies.” “You’re the expert.” he winked.

“Take a seat, I’ll bring it over.”

Bucky had continued to help out every Monday, without fail, but it wasn’t until New Year’s Eve that anything had happened. After they had shared a soft kiss, he’d asked her on a date, and she’d gleefully accepted. So they’d gone to restaurants, done the whole New York sightseeing thing (which was more for his benefit as it had all changed so much), been to the theatre, seen movies, had lunch…and it had all seemed to be going well. 

Jenifer hadn’t dated since the death of her husband some 15 years ago, so this was a huge step for her. But Bucky had made it easy. He was old fashioned, he liked to open doors for her, let her pick where they ate, pulled out her chair for her, all the things she had seen Steve do for Katie. He always walked her back to the apartment above the shop, but never pressed to come inside, seeming content to kiss her goodnight at the door. It was endearing how shy he seemed. But then, 2 nights ago something had changed.

And it had descended into a cluster fuck.

In the middle of the afternoon she had been forced to cancel their date for the afternoon as the member of staff who was due to cover was ill. But Bucky had surprised her and brought the date to her. Armed with some Thai food he’d shown up at closing time, cheeky smile on his face. He had helped her finish up, meaning she was done in record time and then they’d sat by the counter with their food, the conversation flowing as it always did…until he had stolen the last steamed dumpling.

“Hey, I was gonna eat that!” she pouted.

“Snooze you lose.” he quipped and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“That isn’t very chivalrous, Sergeant…”

His eyes had darkened as he’d bitten off half of the offending item before offering her the other half. She’d taken it, her eyes locking onto his, and then before she could even register what was happening Bucky was kissing the life out of her. His hands had gripped her hips, hers fisted in his hair which was loose, his stubble rubbing her face raw. It was delectable, exciting, and then as his hands had brushed the strip of skin that had been exposed just above her waistline she had shivered at the feel of his touch, one flesh, one metal, but both equally gentle…it was exciting, or so she had thought.

He’d pulled back suddenly. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Huh?” Jennifer’s head was a whirl of lust and she was struggling to understand what had just happened? Why did he just stop?

He ran a hand through his dark hair, cheeks flushing, his eyes were sad as he avoided her gaze.

“That was uncalled for,” he muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” She asked again.

Bucky had simply taken a deep breath, pressed a kiss to her forehead before he stood up and headed towards the door. Was he embarrassed? No, she could see from the look on his face that wasn’t it.

“Buck?” She jumped up to follow him to the door. “It’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong…”

He turned and smiled at her softly. God she loved that smile.

“I’ve got an early morning. We have a meeting with the DOD so I’d better go.”

With that he was gone.

Jennifer made all sorts of excuses for him in her head. Maybe he was tired. But the further into the night she got, the more she began to think she was fooling herself. She wasn’t in Bucky Barnes’ league. Maybe he just wasn’t interested.

Her gloom carried into the next day compounded by the fact he hadn’t called or messaged at all. She had contemplated calling Katie to see if she knew what was going on, but had decided to leave it a day or so to let Bucky get over whatever issue he had.  But after almost 36 hours there was no contact whatsoever and she was getting a little antsy. 

“Hey!”  a familiar voice called and she looked up, smiling, as Katie pushed the buggy containing her goddaughter over to the counter.

“Hi!” she beamed. “What brings you down here?”

“I came to ask a favour.” Katie smiled “Well, sorta. Long story short I need a night off. From being a mom…I was kinda hoping you’d be up for a few drinks.” “Tonight?” Jennifer asked 

“Yeah.” Katie nodded “I thought Brooke might like to stay at ours and they can annoy the shit out of Steve like normal.”

Jennifer ponded the invitation for a moment. It wasn’t like she had any other plans. And if she was honest, a good blow out and a chat might be just the thing.

“Alright.” she nodded “What time?”

“Why don’t you come to mine for 8ish and we’ll get Steve to drop us off?” Katie smiled. “Em and Brooke will be ok with Jamie for a little while, Rori can sleep in the car seat.”

Jennifer nodded,  “Sure…” and then her attention was taken by another customer.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Katie smiled, heading back out of the shop. As soon as she was gone she picked up the phone and called Sam.

“We’re on…” she said simply, before she smirked and headed towards her car.

****

Bucky walked besides Sam, hands shoved in his pockets, fists clenching slightly. He really didn’t want to be out tonight but Sam had insisted. Mind you, it had given him an excuse to avoid going to Steve’s to watch the game. He loved Steve like a brother, he really did, but recently the way the blonde punk fawned over his wife was starting to set his teeth on edge. His hands on her back or hips when he passed her, a soft lingering peck on the lips here and there, the way she sat on his lap and he ran his hand up her thigh…Living with them had been torture towards the end. He was grateful for them putting him up for how long they did, and he knew they hadn’t been doing it on purpose but his ears were sharp… and it seemed like the lucky son-of-a-bitch was getting some every goddamned night, and sometimes in the morning too.  

He was happy for the Punk, he really was but, simply put, he was jealous, even if he hated admitting it. Not because he wanted Katie per-se (although he wasn’t blind-Katie was an attractive woman) but because he craved some form of tender touch and he’d almost gotten some 2 nights ago.

Almost.

When he had first met Jennifer 7 months ago on Steve’s doorstep she’d instantly blown him away. She was stunning, long legs, curves, bright green eyes that sparkled with mischief and a smile that made the world stop.  And then he had gotten to know her during the time he spent helping out at the shop and realised that she was funny, clever, with an outgoing spirit that he loved. He’d wanted to ask her out on a date almost immediately but it wasn’t until July 4th at Steve’s birthday bash when she’d asked him for a proper kiss instead of a peck on the cheek when he had finally plucked up the courage to do so, no longer fearing the rejection.

And so he’d taken her out. Weekly in fact, every week since. And still helped at the coffee shop. Everything about the woman put him at ease. She helped him catch up on a lot of things she had missed, and when he stumbled on things he wasn’t familiar with or didn’t understand she didn’t instantly launch into an explanation unless he asked. For which he was grateful. It made him feel less inadequate that way.  

And she was tactile. And it was nice, Bucky hadn’t known anything but harsh physical contact for longer than he cared to remember. But Jennifer seemed to enjoy toughing him. She’d take his hand, lay her head on his shoulder as they walked, and then that time in the restaurant where she had brushed her ankle against his and then gently touched his knee as she stood up to go to the bathroom…well he wasn’t proud of it but he’d had a raging hard on for the rest of the date.

2 nights ago she’d cancelled on him, with a genuine excuse, so he’d taken the initiative and turned up at the shop with a takeout to help her close up. He’d stolen the last steamed dumpling, and then she’d teased him, calling him Sergeant which was enough to send a spike of desire right through his body and he’d acted before he’d thought about it, gripping her hips and pulling her to him, kissing her hard… and then he’d felt her tremble when his hands had brushed a strip of bare skin just about her jeans. He’d scared the shit out of her. So, he had made his excuses and bailed.

“Frosty?” Sam asked, and Bucky turned to look at him. He’d stopped outside a bar.

“Sorry, miles away.” Bucky shrugged, following him in. And no sooner had he done so he stopped dead.

“Hey, is that Katie and Jen?” Sam asked, and Bucky had to do a double-take honestly because at first, he didn’t recognize her. He had no issue with the way Jen normally dressed around him, figure hugging jeans, feminine tops or dresses and jackets that showed off her curves, and the way that fiery red hair normally fell around her face and shoulders…to him she was stunning as she was but there, right now?

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Her hair was twisted back in some form of bun, showing off her neck and shoulders which were bare thanks to the strapless, knee-length pale blue dress she was wearing, which had a slit up the right side through which he could see a perfect flash of alabaster thigh. Her lips were stained a bright red, like the women of his time, her legs bare, high heels on her feet. 

Next to her, Katie was sat wearing a floating gold dress, chatting to another one of the men, laughing as she turned to Jennifer and said something, causing her to laugh. Her face lit up with a smile as she replied and then turned to the man on her right who gently put his hand on the base of her back.

What. The. Fuck?

Bucky’s fists clenched as he watched Jennifer lean closer to say something to him, and the man nodded, laughing, before he waved to the bar tender, hand still on his girl. Before he could march over there and demand to know what was going on, Jennifer stood up and said something before she headed out to the bathroom. 

Before Bucky could stop himself, he marched after her.

**** Jen had started the night off feeling a little bit uncomfortable. She’d shown up to Katie’s dressed in a pair of tight, black cropped trousers and a white low cut vest top but there’d been an accident involving a glass of red wine when Katie had tripped on something and managed to throw it all down her. Her best friend had been so apologetic and mortified, but it wasn’t a complete disaster. Katie had a wardrobe that would make most celebrities jealous and in no time she had convinced Jen to try on the dress she was now wearing. It was a bit much for a Friday night out in Brooklyn bars but Katie was dressed up too so she supposed it was nice to make an effort every once in a while. Plus, she felt good in it. Which was nice considering how shit she’d felt the other day when Bucky had bailed on her.

A quick restyle of her hair to compliment the cut of her dress and they were on their way, Steve dropping them at their bar of choice and telling them to have a good time. They’d walked into the bar, ordered a bottle of wine and sat on the stools, where Jen had opened her heart and told Katie everything that had happened with Bucky. Katie had listened, sympathetically and then added her own pearls of wisdom suggesting that Bucky was a lot more shy than people expected. Their conversation had been cut short when two men had joined them, Katie jumping up to hug them both before introducing them to Jennifer as 2 of her old colleagues from SHIELD. The two men had been nice, included her in the conversation, and Jennifer had found herself actually enjoying their company. The dark haired one, a man called Ben,or Lawson as Katie called him, was interesting and had been entertaining her with a few tales of Katie at SHIELD, but then he’d started getting a bit touchy feely. And, despite the clear lack of communication from Bucky she still considered herself his. So she’d excused herself and gone to the bathroom. 

After re-doing her make-up, she was seriously considering heading back to the apartment and pulling on a pair of comfy pyjamas and settling with a nice bottle of rioja in front of the TV. Wondering if Katie would actually care, she snapped her purse shut, pulled open the door and did a double take as she found Bucky right outside it. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded across his chest and she didn’t miss the way his gaze flew up and down her body as she stepped closer.  

“Buck, hi.” she greeted him “What are you doing here?”

“I was out for a drink with Sam, wasn’t expecting to see you. And from what I just saw at the bar I’d say it was clear you weren’t expecting me to either.” Oh shit. He was mad. 

Jen swallowed hard “That wasn’t…that wasn’t what it looked like.”

“No?”

“No.” she shook her head “I don’t even know that guy, he’s a friend of Katie’s from work, well her old work, SHIELD…” Bucky didn’t say anything, he merely held her gaze. She knew how it looked. Worse she was dressed as she was, making her feel a little bit uneasy as she never wore outfits like this normally. She glanced at Bucky, he was dressed in a simple black button down and black jeans, looking damned good, but his entire body language was off. The shy, gently Bucky Barnes she knew had been replaced by someone else. He was harsh, angry, even.

And then she felt herself getting mad.

This was the man that had darted out of her apartment the other night, and hadn’t even called her. And now he was here, getting all pissy because some guy had shown her a bit of attention?

Fuck that.

In that split moment Bucky saw her whole body language change, from one of a kid being caught with their hand in the cookie jar to a parent who was about to deliver a very stern telling off. And he wasn’t wrong.

“Actually, I don’t have to explain myself to you.” she folded her arms, mimicking his stance. “You ran out on me 2 nights ago. You haven’t called, anything…” Bucky swallowed, and momentarily he felt a little sideswiped, but he fast recovered his composure.

“So you just what? Go on a date with someone else?”

“This isn’t a date you dickhead!” she practically snarled “I’ve never me the guy before, but for the record, it’s kinda nice to be wanted you know what I mean? Now if you’ll excuse me…”

Wait? Is that what she thought? That he didn’t want her? Fuck, no, that wasn’t right.

He reached out and grabbed her arm gently to stop her leaving and she turned to face him. Once more his eyes skated up and down her body and before he could stop himself he had pulled her to him, so she was flush against his body.

“You’re supposed to be my girl.” he whispered, looking into her eyes.

“Am I?” she swallowed, her voice shy, meek almost. And fuck, that turned him on even more.

“Yeah…”

“Then I am, fucking hell Bucky…” she groaned, her lips meeting his in a fierce kiss. He backed her up against the wall, his thigh planted firmly between hers as much as it could thanks to the tight dress she was wearing, the kiss intensifying until the pair of them jumped apart as 2 other people came into the corridor to use the bathroom, smirking as they passed the couple.

Bucky looked at her, shaking his head “The other night…” he began “I know I scared you…” Jennifer frowned “No you didn’t.” 

“You were shaking.” Bucky said “There’s no need to pretend what…” “Bucky Barnes I’m a grown ass woman.” she said sternly “I think I know what I was feeling…”

His eyes widened, so if she hadn’t been shaking in fear…then…oh. 

Oh.

“And I know what I want…” she smirked, grabbing the shirt just underneath his collar and spinning them around. Backing up, she dragged him into the ladies and pushed him into a cubicle, locking it behind her. As soon as she turned to face him, Bucky had her pinned against the door, his hands skirting up her dress, gently teasing the outside of her thighs as she kissed him, hard, hands running through his hair.

“For the record…”she pulled back, tugging on the short locks a the top of his head “I’m liking this…”

A low growl rumbled in his throat as he pushed her skirt up over her hips, planting his thigh in between hers. She let out a moan as he pushed up into her spot, the harsh denim grinding on her spot. She was soaked already, and when his fingers hooked into the top of the very skimpy lacy underwear she was wearing, her clit throbbed from the slight pressure as he tore the garment easily in half, tossing it to the floor.

“Fuck…” Jennifer mumbled as his lips caught the pulse point on her neck, her head falling back against the cubicle door as his fingers slid into her folds, one circling her clit. 

“This what you want?” he asked, his breath was low.

“God, yes…” she muttered as his fingers picked up the pace. He inserted on inside, and her head fell onto his shoulder as he curled it forward against her spot. It was such a fucking turn on to see her trembling at his touch, trembling he now understood in a good way. With his other hand he pulled down the top of her dress, freeing her breasts and he gave a groan as he realised she wasn’t wearing a bra. He gently rolled one nipple in between his teeth, his other hand still fucking her gently and she let out a gasp.. 

“Bucky for God’s Sake just fuck me already…” 

He grinned at her, removing his hand.

“Yes Ma’am…” he said, as her hands flew to the buckle on his belt before opened his jeans, her fingers pushing them and his boxers down, allowing his cock to spring loose.

“You got any…” he began and she shook her head.

“No need, I got that covered…and I’m clean so as long as you are…” she looked at him and he nodded, as he gently hooked his hands under her knees and lifted her so her legs were round his waist. Once more he claimed her mouth with a heated kiss, swallowing the groan she gave as he pushed into her.  

Jesus…her heat almost paralysed him, but after a second or two to let them both adjust he began to move, slowly at first, gently finding a rhythm that suited them both.

“I’m going to make you feel so good, Sweetheart.” he said and she groaned again as he gently rutted up into her, his mouth finding her breasts again. The noises she was making were turning him on even more as he picked up his pace slightly, and the more he gave the more she wanted. 

Soon the bathroom was filled with the sinful sound of skin on skin, moans and groans, and the rattling of the cubicle door as Bucky fucked into her again and again. Her hands were in his hair, up his back, under his shirt, gently tracing the scars on his shoulder from behind but he didn’t give a fuck, in fact, in a twisted way he liked the feel of her soft touch over the raised skin. He continued to slam into her again and again, lips kissing down her jawline, neck, across her collar bone and down to her breasts again, and she gave a loud squeak. 

“God I wanted you so fucking much…”She gasped, bringing his head up to kiss hers again, her hands on his cheeks.

“Feeling’s mutual doll” he moaned into her mouth, the noise of the door behind them was rattling even louder. 

Jen felt her core tightened as a wave of pleasure swelled within her. Her shoes were somewhere on the floor as her heels dug into that ass she had admired for so long, nails scratching slightly at his skin as her hands slid under his skirt again. The door behind her continued to squeak, grind, and rattle.

“I’m…”

“You going to come for me?” Bucky asked as he kissed down her neck, biting at her collar bone. She nodded with a groan, and her head banged back against the door.

“Shit, Bucky…” and then she clamped around him hard as her release took her. Her entire body shook as the white hot tendrils coursed around her from head to toe, the entire world spinning. Bucky gave a strangled groan that bubbled from the depths of this chest, and he clutched her to him, tightly, hips stuttering as he shuddered with the utter intensity of it all.

A very loud groan and then a scream erupted from Jenifer as the door collapsed behind them, and sent the pair of them falling. In a flash Bucky wrapped himself around her, pivoting so that his back hit the floor first and Jenifer fell against his chest.

There was a moment’s pause before she began to laugh, and Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle as well as she looked at him and he helped her to her feet.

“Erm…so we broke the door.” She said between her laughter as she adjusted her dress, smoothing back her hair as Bucky did up his pants, tucking his shirt back in. 

He ran his hand over her hip, up to her neck and pulled her back in for a softer kiss and when he pulled away he was amazed at how relaxed and less tired and stressed he felt. 

Who’d have thought it? All he needed was a good fuck.

But now as he looked at the woman in front of him he realised fucking wasn’t enough. He wanted to take her home and lavish affection on every inch of her body.  

“Was that okay?” Jennifer asked, looking at him “I know it’s not exactly how a first time together should be but…” “Are you kidding?” Bucky chuckled, pulling her into his arms. “That was incredible but you’re right. I’d really like to take you home and do it properly, a little more caring maybe…as soon as I can.”

“My apartment’s free…” she whispered, as he kissed her again before he pulled back and grinned.

“What are we waiting for?” he asked, and with a last glance down at the broken door, she took his hand and led him back into the corridor. 

As they walked across the bar it didn’t escape Bucky’s notice that Sam was sat with the two men Jenifer had explained were friend’s of Katie’s, and that his best friend’s wife was nowhere to be seen.

And it all clicked into place. He realised he had been well and truly played. ‘Mrs Rogers, you cheeky little minx…’

3. Closing Analysis

“And he’s gone!” Sam smirked, watching Bucky stalk across the busy bar area after Jennifer “I gotta hand it to you…it would seem that Steve isn’t the only Rogers with a plan.”

“Yeah, I’m intrigued…” Evans said, draping a hand over her shoulder, “How did you know it would work?”

“Remember that time, years ago, when Steve and I had been on the baseball, and you commented on how Rumlow had been eye-fucking me all night?” she turned to her former sniper partner. He nodded “Well let’s just say it sparked something in Captain America that night.”

Evans and Lawson both chuckled. 

“And on that note…” Katie said, draining her glass as her phone flashed with a message from her husband “My ride home is here.”

“Seems Jen isn’t the only one with a super soldier waiting to ravish her…” Lawson quipped. 

Katie smirked “That and I have no intention of being here when they come out and realise we set the whole thing up.” “We?” Sam asked. “You were complicit…” she said, draining her glass. She turned to give Evans and Lawson a hug.

“Good to see you boys, stop by the house soon, come say hi.”

“Best get your chef on Nova.” Evans grinned, “You owe us.” “Oh admit it.” she smirked “You enjoyed the thrill of being on a Covert Op again.” “Think it’s Tin Man that’s gonna be enjoying that particular thrill…” Sam quipped, making her snort. 

“If they make it that far…” she smirked, pulling on her jacket. “Night boys.”

She made her way outside and over to the Audi, climbing into the passenger seat.

“Hey baby, you have a nice time?” Steve asked as she leaned over to give him a peck.

She grinned “Yeah, although not as nice as Bucky and Jen it would seem.” “What did you do?” he asked, looking at her suspiciously. 

“Nothing…just gave them a friendly shove…” she said, pausing as she felt her phone vibrate in her bag. It was a text. from Bucky 

“Expect a bill for a toilet cubicle door…”

She gave a loud laugh and showed it to Steve who groaned, shaking his head.

“Oh it’s not like we never fucked in a bathroom before.” she laughed, and he was about to reply when he stopped and grinned, nodding out of the windscreen. Katie followed his gaze as Jen and Bucky came out of the bar, hand in hand, and straight to a waiting cab. As Bucky opened the door to let Jenifer in he turned slowly to his right, locked eyes with Katie and raised his metal hand, leaving a single digit extended in her direction. The middle one to be exact before he grinned climbed into the car.

“You know, you don’t need to look so smug about it…” Steve said, a smile playing on his face as he eyed his wife who sat back in her seat. She gave him a shrug, smirking and he chuckled as he pulled the car away from the kerb. 

Ok, so she’d clearly underestimated the ex-assassin, maybe he had twigged it had been a set up. But that didn’t matter. Her plan had worked.

Katie Rogers had just successfully dismantled Bucky Barnes. 

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

The new fic reminded me of this gem i wrote a while back, and I don't think i ever sent it to you!

LAOFT Tattoo Parlor AU

In which Roman opens a tattoo parlor for two good reasons, and one really dumb one. 

also, this is like my first ever fic in this format so feedback is appreciated (That includes constructive criticism)

and its not proofread we die like men

• So one day The Boys are just talking and Roman mentions that his failed attempt at piercing his ears

• To which Virgil goes “Greta tried to do that to me, but it failed even more spectacularly.”  

• “Wait how do you even pierce fae ears? Doesn’t the needle, y’know, burn?” 

• “Copper?” 

• “Oh yeah I didn’t even consider that.” 

• “Well it’s not like we could have it done regardless,” Logan points out, “We aren’t going to find a shop with tools made of pure copper.”

• “Well how do you know that, though? Have you even looked?” Patton asks

• “Yes.” 

• “Oh. Wait, why?”

• “I was just looking to see if it was possible to get a tattoo.”

• And then they ask Logan what tattoo he would even get and he says that he didn’t really know, but it definitely would be some sort of flower. He also points out that it doesn’t matter anyway, since it would be impossible. 

• But once again, Logan underestimated just how big of a simp Roman Gage is. 

• So Roman has been thinking about what kind of job he would want. He’s certain a desk job would kill him. He really would like a job that lets him move around all day and put his artistic skills to work, y’know?

• It wasn’t until this conversation that he realized it. 

• “I think I wanna become a tattoo artist!” He announces.

• “Oh, and would this have anything to do with our conversation the other day?” Logan asks.

• “No- I mean yes- or, uh, kind of? I was thinking about what kind of job I would want, and then after the conversation it just sort of… hit me.” Roman said, entirely too fast, pacing as he spoke. 

• “I did some research, and its going to take a few years, but you don’t need a degree or anything and I think it would be really cool and stuff so yeah,” He stopped turning to his husbands, who all had looks of amusement on their faces, “whatcha think?”

• After getting various affirmation from his husbands, he was determined. 

• Blah blah blah Roman does all the things to become a tattoo artist blah blah three years of internship blah blah blah

• And now the fun part.

• Roman opens his own shop! It’s always right next to Logan’s flower shop and Patton’s Bakery. 

• Which leads us to the really dumb reason Roman opened this tattoo parlor. 

group chat: Mistakes Have Been Made

Bitchcraft: Isn’t it funny how me and Logan did the whole “Flower shop/tattoo parlor thing but backwards. 

Several people are typing…

Kaiseroll: Holy shit- 

illsleepwhenimdead: Oh my God. I hate that you’re right. 

ImCorbieUnfortunetly: thats so cursed oml

Kleinespinne: Did y’all do that on purpose

Bitchcraft: no comment

Bug: Oh that’s definitely a yes. 

Berry: is it really surprising though? It wouldn't be the first time we filled out a fanfiction trope almost perfectly. 

Goldilocks: no. comment. 

spinnenprinz: wait what i’m so confused what’s going on

Bug: Oh.

Bug: Oh no.

Goldilocks: I- I genuinely don’t know where we go from here, folks. 

Kaiseroll: It was only a matter of time before he found out. 

spinnenprinz: found out about what?

several people are typing… 

spinnenprinz: found out about what??????

Bitchcraft: y’all can chill I just explained it to him

illsleepwhenimdead: *hunger games whistle*

Bitchcraft: Literally shut up Adams it wasn’t that bad y’all are just dramatic assholes 

illsleepwhenimdead: Oh we’re the dramatic assholes?

bitchcraft is typing…

Bitchcraft: yes

illsleepwhenimdead: That was a long ass pause for just a “yes”

Bitchcraft: it was for effect

illsleepwhenimdead: so thanks for proving my point then.

Kaiseroll: Will the dumbasses on aisle 5 please stfu?

Goldilocks: Hey, that’s not nice

CrystalGemile: Don’t be mean!

Goldilocks: 💖💖

CrystalGemile: !!!!

spinnenprinz: ok but seriously what’s so funny about the tattoo parlor/flower shop thing

bitchcraft is typing..

illsleepwhenimdead: this better not be just one word again

Bitchcraft: ok so basically its a trope in fanfiction where one character owns a flower shop and the other charter owns a tattoo parlor right next to it and that’s how they meet and it’s like love at first sight or whatever and the joke is that since tattoo parlors and flower shops are concepts that clash so hard, the people who own them should also be incompatible but they actually fit perfectly 

Bitchcraft: (also screw you)

spinnenprinz: oh

spinnenprinz: but wait what about the other tropes that we “fill out perfectly”

Goldilocks: Childhood best friends 

Bug: Painful to read slowburn

Berry: Urban fantasy!

Bitchcraft: I think Logan and Virgil did a super speedrun enemies to lovers for about 3 seconds.

Goldilocks: We got some major hurt/comfort

Bitchcraft: oh definitely

Goldilocks: (Don't forget soulmates 💖)

Bitchcraft: also the fact that we got a daughter in a way that should technically be impossible but God does what she wants in the name of fluffy domestic schmoop.

illsleepwhenimdead sent https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr78cb1vHJ0

Bitchcraft: How long have you been waiting to use that one?

illsleepwhenimdead: No! Comment!

V: ALKJSDFJHG OH MY GOSH!!!!! I live this so much!!!! Its funny and witty and cute and i love the format what a take omg

[jenanigans1207]

Castle of Cards [Renga]

I said I wasn’t gonna post this on here because formatting on Tumblr is so obnoxious now, but I figure I might as well. So here’s my fix-it fic to ep 9 (so, spoilers!) where Langa and Reki finally talk it out and Reki gets the gd hug he deserves!

-- x

Everyone is looking at him.

They’re looking and pointing, whispering words behind their hands. Some are even outright shouting congratulations to him, though he barely hears it. He may respond absently, he’s not honestly sure. His brain is too occupied with one thing and one thing only, leaving no space for any of this. Compared to what he’s dealing with currently, his win against Joe barely even exists in his mind right now— it’s certainly not something he would call important currently. The words Adam, Snow, and Eve follow him around, rippling in his wake as he makes his way through the crowd. The voices all blend together, background noise to him at most.

None of them are the voice he’s looking for, the voice he needs to hear.

None of them are Reki.

“Excuse me.” Langa’s at the gate now, and he’s not really sure why. But he’s looked everywhere else and he hasn’t been able to locate Reki, so he’s running out of options and feeling a little more desperate with each passing second, with each face he sees that still isn’t Reki’s.

“Oh, Snow.” The guard glances up at him, surprised. “That was an amazing race.”

“Thanks.” Langa says absentmindedly. He glances around one more time, but no faces jump out at him. “Have you seen a red headed guy? About my age?”

“Oh, yeah.” The guard nods, his gaze far away as if he’s remembering. “He left a little while ago.”

“Left?” Langa echoes, hollow inside. He can feel his heart pounding against his ribs like drums, can feel the way he’s only a few beats away from having his ribs crack open entirely, bleeding all of these emotions out for the world to see. “Is he coming back?”

“Well, considering the fact that he gave me this,” The guard digs around in his pocket for a moment before holding his hand out between them, an S pin catching the light in his palm. “I’m going to say no.”

For a moment, everything stops. It’s just Langa and the pin, staring at each other while Langa tries to make sense of what he’s seeing. Cold dread seeps into his veins, spreading to the tips of his fingers and toes. The pin glistens in the light, bright and beautiful, just like it had so many times when it had been attached to Reki’s collar. It had caught Langa’s eye so many times, been the thing he chose to stare at when he couldn’t stare directly at Reki any longer for fear of something stupid coming out of his mouth. He knew that pin almost as well as he knew Reki.

But no, it must’ve been some other red headed guy.

The pin must belong to someone else. There’s no way it’s Reki’s pin.

It was true that Reki and Langa weren’t on the best terms, but Reki would never give up his pass to S. Just the mere thought of it sits wrong in Langa’s chest, makes him feel a little sideways. He almost wants to laugh bitterly at himself for even considering it. He knows that Reki would never. If there was one fundamental thing about Reki that could never change, it was his love for all things skating— and that certainly included S. Langa remembers the first time Reki had told him about S, the way his whole face had lit up. He can still feel Reki’s hand on his shoulder as he’d shook Langa, insisting that Langa should be more excited for such an honor.

Reki would give up breathing before he would give up S. Langa was sure of it.

“Oh.” He finally says dumbly. “That must be someone else.”

“No,” The guard shakes his head, seemingly unaware of the turmoil slowly starting to stir in Langa’s stomach, unaware of the ice in his heart, chilling him to the bone. “It was definitely that guy you usually show up with. Took me a minute to recognize him without that headband, but it was definitely him.”

It feels like the entire world is ripped out from underneath Langa’s feet.

Suddenly he’s free falling, plummeting towards some dark future that he wants nothing to do with and there doesn’t seem to be a way to slow it down. Suddenly he’s a million miles from Reki, on the other side of a divide he had unknowingly dug. Everything he knew seemed to be flipped on its head, the chilling realization that he didn’t know Reki as well as he thought— that he had hurt Reki far deeper than he’d realized— was freezing him to his spot. Everything he believed in, everything he held close to his heart, every touch, glance, smile— all of it, stripped away from him.

Langa stares at the pin like it might tell him that this is some practical joke, that Reki is just trying to teach him a lesson. Dear God, he’ll learn the lesson. He’ll do anything if it gets Reki to come back.

Because Reki had been here. He’d been here, despite the fact that he’d been avoiding Langa and insisting that he didn’t want anything to do with this tournament. He’d been here and he’d cheered Langa on, because he was Reki and that meant he was incapable of not being there for the people that mattered to him. Even lost in thought as he’d been, Langa had recognized Reki’s voice instantly. He’d always recognize Reki’s voice— he’d recognize anything about Reki. His voice, his laugh, his footfalls, even the sound of his ragged breathing after an afternoon practicing a new trick— Langa was in tune with all things Reki.

Or, he had thought that he was. He’d thought that he knew Reki better than anyone else but suddenly he’s staring down at Reki’s most prized possession, Reki nowhere to be found, feeling his heart crack open in his chest. Somewhere things went wrong, they got off track and suddenly fell out of step with each other. All this time, Langa had been looking to Reki to lead him, to show him what was next, to step into another adventure at his side. All this time it had been them . But now it was just him . And even though he was in the center of a crowd that kept repeating his name, Langa had never felt more alone.

“Can I take that?” Langa asks after a silence that has stretched so long it has become awkward. “He’s just having a bad day. He’ll want it back when he’s feeling better.”

The words don’t sound quite right and they taste a little bitter on his tongue, as if the words themselves know that they’re a lie, but Langa ignores that. He wills it to be the truth, to give him some hope to cling to. He needs that right now. Because if he doesn’t at least have hope that he’ll be able to get Reki back, he has absolutely nothing . Not even the board Reki made him, not anymore.

The guard shrugs and deposits the pin in Langa’s hand. It’s cold to the touch but still something inside of him burns. “Technically I should say no, but I’ve seen him around here for years. I know he’s a good kid. So, go for it.”

Someone arrives at the gate then and the guard bids Langa farewell, unaware of just how much his words sting. He’s seen Reki around here for years— yeah, that sounds like Reki. The Reki that Langa knows, the Reki he had been thinking about at dinner with his mom a few days ago when he first mentioned that Reki was avoiding him. That sounded like the Reki that shined brighter than the sun and dragged Langa out of the dark hole that his life had become.

Because Langa had moved here with nothing but his mom. He’d lost his dad, he’d given up snowboarding and then lost the possibility of picking it back up. He’d moved here without knowing a single soul outside of his family and he’d assumed that his life would just remain bleak and boring for— well, indefinitely, really. And then Reki had come dashing down the street, arm bandaged, yelling for Langa to catch his board before it got away and everything had changed. Langa’s fingers had closed around the board, he’d turned to meet Reki’s gaze and the entire trajectory of his future had shifted in that exact moment. He was completely sure of it— that was the moment that everything in his life had changed. That was the moment he found a purpose again. And more than that, he’d found someone to share it with.

Langa shoves the pin deep in his pocket because he can’t bear to look at it any longer. It’s bad enough that he has to carry around the splintered halves of his skateboard, he didn’t need another reminder staring back at him.

Something was happening in the distance, Langa didn’t really know what, he wasn’t paying attention. All he knew was that the crowd seemed to have finally moved on from talking about him and he was grateful for the peace because right now he wanted to be with Reki. And if he couldn’t be with Reki, he wanted to be alone.

-- x

He’s careless as he rips the posters off of his wall, tearing them irreparably down the middle.

Not that it matters.

Not that anything matters.

Reki doesn’t turn his bedroom light on as he shreds the posters in his hands, throwing crumpled bits of them on the ground. What’s the point in having his room decorated in skating memorabilia if he wasn’t going to be skating anymore? Because that was really the only option that he could see, that’s what today had made clear to him.

He didn’t want to be standing in the crowd, watching Langa reach new heights. He didn’t want to see Langa’s back . He wanted to be by Langa’s side, in the center of his circle. He wanted to be in Langa’s heart . But Langa was out of reach now— too high in the sky, surrounded by too many adoring fans, up on a pedestal that Reki could never climb, no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to skate, but he wanted to skate with Langa. And since that goal was officially unreachable, well, he didn’t see the point in skating at all.

What fun was there left in it when he would always have an empty place by his side? Where was he supposed to find the joy when he didn’t have Langa there to cheer him on, to clap him on the shoulder or high five him in congratulation when Reki finally landed a trick he’d been practicing? What enjoyment was left for him if he was just going to be eating lunch alone in the middle of the day, a million thoughts on his mind and nobody to share them with?

Because the truth that he’d been trying to avoid for the last few weeks was that he absolutely couldn’t find someone else to share this with. Not the way he shared it with Langa, anyways. There was never going to be someone else that he had that connection with, someone else who walked into his life and just stayed like it was the only place they could possibly imagine being. He hadn’t known it when Langa had introduced himself to their class that first day, but Langa was a missing piece to Reki’s heart, something to complete him and make him feel whole again. Langa challenged him and took him to new heights and for the longest time, Reki had thought that Langa would wait for him, that he wouldn’t try to hit a new level until Reki met him on the one he was at.

Because for a while, it had been okay that Langa was naturally talented and unbelievably amazing because he stayed in stride with Reki. It had been okay that Langa could fly higher than Reki, because it gave Reki something to strive for, a goal to reach. And the whole time, Langa stayed there, encouraging him and cheering him on, laughing with him and offering a hand to hoist him up from the ground when he fell. It was okay that Langa was ahead because he was still there — bright and beautiful, always within Reki’s reach.

He wasn’t within Reki’s reach anymore.

But there was something about Langa, something about the way he fit perfectly into the cracks of Reki’s heart that made Reki absolutely certain that he couldn’t share his passion with anyone else the same way. He’d always have a hollow spot throbbing in his heart whenever he touched a skateboard. That was the real reason he hadn’t skated since their fight. Every time he touched his board, he just felt the ache of loneliness that came with Langa’s absence. Somewhere along the way skating had stopped being his thing and instead had become their thing. But since there was no longer a them , Reki didn’t feel like he could find a home inside skating again.

And that hurt more than Reki had thought anything could.

In the matter of a few weeks he had lost his best friend and his passion, and they weren’t even stolen from him. Langa had willingly walked away, had known that he was breaking his promise to Reki and had chosen to go along with it anyways. Langa had given up on Reki and now Reki was left with no choice but to give up on skating. Because the idea of giving up on Langa hurt even worse, somehow, and a small piece of his shattered heart harbored hope that Langa would come back.

Reki sinks down to the floor, curling in on himself and pressing his forehead against the wall, torn skating posters grasped loosely in his palms.

All this time he had felt like he and Langa were creating a castle together, a place to rule over their shared passion. But now that Reki was alone— well and truly alone, not even the presence of his S badge to keep him company— he realized that it was nothing more than a Castle of Cards and it was collapsing around him.

-- x

The problem with doing the right thing  is that right now, Langa doesn’t know what the right thing is.

He had been trying to give Reki the space he seemed like he wanted the last few weeks, trying to stay within Reki’s orbit without forcing Reki to interact with him if he didn’t want. But that hadn’t worked because suddenly Reki seemed even further away than he had before. But if Reki really didn’t want to talk to him— and that certainly seemed to be the case— Langa didn’t want to corner him.

He looks down at the broken board in his hands and thinks that it’s the perfect representation of everything Reki in his life right now— shattered completely and something Langa has no idea how to handle.

Words have never been his forte. And it’s true that Reki is usually able to read between the lines or connect the dots to Langa’s point if he mixes some of his thoughts together, but this isn’t the kind of thing he wants Reki to have to parse. This is something he needs to say to Reki, clearly and succinctly because anything else risks him losing Reki forever.

And if he loses Reki forever— he loses skating forever, too. Because he can’t skate without Reki there, cheering him on. He doesn’t find joy in it unless he has Reki, that much has become abundantly clear in his last few trips to S.

That, he knows, is the whole problem. It took him too long to realize that the thing he was chasing had in fact been next to him the entire time. It took him too long to realize that the feeling he was addicted to wasn’t the feeling of going fast, but instead the feeling of Reki’s belief in him, the warmth of Reki’s friendship and unwavering support. The thing he had gotten so lost in was Reki, not skateboarding, and he didn’t make that connection until it was too late.

And Reki— Reki was really good at keeping a straight face, at pretending he was okay when he wasn’t. Because Langa had been blind sided by Reki walking out of his life. He’d had maybe one hint that Reki wasn’t feeling himself and then suddenly the bridge between them was on fire and Langa didn’t have any water with him. He’d been forced to stand there as it charred to bits and now— now he had to find some other way across that gap. Because now he knew that it was Reki he needed, Reki he wanted. He knew it was Reki that meant more to him than anything else in his life ever had and he wasn’t going to let Reki go.

Slowly, and with far more effort than it should actually take, Langa peels himself off the ground. S had ended hours ago and everyone had scattered, but Langa hadn’t felt like going home. The sun was starting to rise over the horizon, just the tiniest hints of pink and yellow starting to paint the inky black sky. Another day dawning— another day without Reki if Langa didn’t do something. Another day of the thing he wants most slipping through his fingers.

With equal amounts of determination and fear, Langa takes off towards Reki’s house. He has no idea what he’s going to say, no idea what he’s going to do , but he can’t just sit around and do nothing anymore. He grips Reki’s S pin in one hand, clutching his broken board to his side with the other as he treads the familiar path to Reki’s house. He could walk there with his eyes closed if he wanted to, he’d been here so many times. It was like his feet knew the path on their own, like even lacking courage couldn’t stop him from going there because every fiber of who he was longed to see Reki, to be near him again. Every single cell in his body was screaming at him to get to Reki before it was too late and Reki was gone completely.

He rounded the last corner and came to a complete stop as he stumbled into Reki’s front yard, surprised to see Reki sitting on the front porch so early in the morning.

“Reki?”

Reki’s head whips up and he squints at Langa, the sun from behind Langa no doubt blinding him. “Langa? What are you doing?”

A lot of different thoughts swirl in Langa’s mind, the weight of both the pin and the board heavy in his hands as he tries to figure out where to start. Reki stares at him, still in the same hoodie he’d worn at S, his headband gone. His hair was longer than Langa had realized as it fell down around his face, framing his eyes and the unbearably sad expression on his face. He looked the way Langa’s heart feels— empty and void of any passion. The first thing Langa considers is just dropping everything and pulling Reki into a hug, but he’s not sure Reki would receive that willingly and he really doesn’t think he’d be able to handle Reki pushing him away.

“I—“ Langa glances down at his feet, at the board in his hand, the scrapes along his arms from when the board had broken and he’d fallen. If only this was as easy as a simple cut, if only this would heal with just a little time and tending to.

“What happened?” Reki asks and when Langa glances up at him, he sees Reki’s gaze focused on his board. There’s a sharp downturn at the corner of his mouth and Langa can’t tell if Reki is mad that he broke the board or not.

“Oh, it—“ Langa glances at the board, too. The board that Reki had made for him, the one that Reki had poured time and effort into. The board that allowed him to reach the heights he can now reach. “It snapped right after I crossed the finish line with Joe. I’m sorry, Reki, I didn’t mean to—“

Reki sighs and it sounds like he’s pulling the weight of it from the very depths of his bones. Langa worries for a moment that he’s going to collapse in on himself when he exhales because it sounds like he’s letting go of everything he is. “You need me to fix it for you?”

That startles Langa. Sure, when his board had first broken and Joe had suggested that he go back to Reki to fix it, Langa had assumed that Reki would. But something about finding out Reki had turned in his S pin had changed everything. If Langa’d had to guess before he got here how he thought Reki would react, he would’ve said that Reki would’ve staunchly refused to fix his board for him and shown him the door. It didn’t sound anything like Reki but then again, neither did giving up S and Reki had apparently done that.

“You would?”

Reki raises one shoulder in what Langa assumes is meant to be a shrug. “You can’t beat Adam otherwise.”

Each word is a knife straight to Langa’s heart and somehow, completely despite himself, he drops the board to the ground at his feet, his arm going limp. “Reki…”

Finally, Reki stands up from the porch and closes the distance between them. And even though he’s technically getting closer with every step he takes, Langa feels like Reki is being pulled further and further away from him. “That’s what you want, isn’t it? To beat Adam? You’ll need a board to do that.”

Slowly, and with far more care than it deserves, Reki picks the shattered pieces of the board up off of the ground. He stands up, just a few feet away from Langa, close enough that Langa could reach out and touch him if he wanted to— and Langa wants to. God he’s not sure he’s ever wanted something more in his life. He wants to touch Reki, to feel that Reki is really there, that Reki is real and beside him again, right where he belongs.

Because all along, it’s been Reki reaching out to Langa. It’s been Reki throwing his arm around Langa’s shoulders, pulling Langa close in celebration. It’s been Reki holding onto Langa, holding Langa together, dragging Langa forward. And then— and then the one time he’d reached for Reki first, Reki had shaken off his touch and left him standing under a street lamp in the rain.

And Langa really wants to reach for Reki, but he’s paralyzed by fear that Reki will shake him off again.

Pain courses through his body with every beat of his heart and suddenly Langa feels like he’s losing control. The unbearable agony of being this close to Reki and not being able to have him, to hold him, breaks Langa apart completely. “Why did you turn in your badge?”

Reki hears him, Langa knows he does. Because Reki has always heard him, has always been listening for him in the midst of everything. There’s never been anything that Langa has said that Reki hasn’t heard. But Reki ignores him. “I’m probably going to have to start from scratch.” He says instead, his gaze studiously focused on the board. But Langa sees the tight line of his jaw. “I don’t think I can repair this.”

“Reki—“

“Don’t worry,” Reki reassures even though they both know that Reki’s doing nothing but dodging the issue at hand. “I can have it done by the time you have your beef with Adam. I’ve already made it once so I know what it needs. Just give me a day or two.”

And then Reki turns to walk towards his garage as if he’s going to get started right away. Reki turns to walk towards his garage, away from Langa.

“Reki!” Completely out of his control, Langa’s hand shoots out and grabs Reki around the wrist, holding him in place. He holds as tightly as he can without hurting Reki, determined to not let him get away this time. “Reki, talk to me .”

Reki’s head is bowed and his shoulders are shaking and every already. Broken piece of Langa’s heart somehow manages to break further. “What do you want me to say, Langa?”

With a gentle tug, Langa turns Reki around so they’re facing each other again. He pulls Reki’s hand forward until it’s open in front of him and then he presses Reki’s S pin into his palm, staring with so much intensity it’s almost unbearable because Reki still won’t look at him. His fingers curl under Langa’s, wrapping around the pin as he scoffs, turning his head to the side.

“Why?” Langa presses, his hand still firm around Reki’s wrist. “Reki, why?”

When Reki finally raises his head, his eyes watery at the edges, Langa thinks he might just crumble completely, become a pile of broken dreams at Reki’s feet, waiting for a gentle wind to blow him away. “What purpose do I have there, Langa? I can’t keep up with everyone. I’m not—“ The words seem to lodge in Reki’s throat but he refuses to turn his burning gaze away this time. “I’m not good enough. There’s nothing there for me.”

“I’m there for you.” Langa replies with as much ferocity as he can manage. It sounds feeble, broken, like it’s two seconds away from collapsing entirely. “I’m there for you, Reki.”

“You’re there for Adam.” Reki practically spits Adam’s name, like it tastes bad on his tongue, like he can’t wait to get it away from him. Langa had known that Reki hated Adam, that Adam scared him and seemed dangerous but this— these emotions swirling around Reki’s words, hiding in the depths of his eyes— this was something more than that.

And this is it— the breaking point. This is the moment where Langa can either make or break everything they have between them. Every late night, every early morning, every band aid Reki has carefully put over his wounds have led to this moment. All the knowledge he has of Reki culminates to right now when he has to figure out exactly the right thing to say, has to figure out how to tell Reki what it is that he really feels. His mom had told him to just be honest with his feelings, but that was easier said than done. At the time he’d thought it would be embarrassing but now he’d willingly take embarrassment if it meant Reki would smile again.

How long has it been since he’s seen Reki smile? He feels like he’s being suffocated without it, like the happiness is slowly being drained away from him.

“I thought I was,” Langa begins and he sees Reki flinch away from him, sees the moment Reki tries to build those final walls between them. Holding Reki’s wrist the tiniest bit tighter, Langa rushes on, “But I was wrong. Reki I— I thought it was skating against Adam that made my heart race. I thought it was the speed. But it wasn’t.” Langa shakes his head and a few strands of hair fall into his eyes. This isn’t going how he wants it to, the words are getting all muddled in his head, lost somewhere between his mind and his tongue. “That’s— it’s not—“ He sighs.

But Reki is looking up at him again, his eyes wide and his mouth open like there’s a question poised on the tip of his tongue. There’s the tiniest flicker of hope, a small flame that needs fanning in Reki’s expression. “What?”

“These last few weeks, when you haven’t been there it hasn’t— it hasn’t felt the same.” Langa takes a deep breath and finally lets go of Reki. If he’s going to leave, at least he will have heard Langa out. That’s the most he can ask for. “It hasn’t been fun or exciting. Nothing about it has felt like it did before. Even when I was racing Joe earlier it didn’t— it didn’t mean anything to me until you cheered for me.”

“But…” Reki ducks his head and Langa swallows around the lump forming in his throat. “But you’re so talented.”

“So are you.”

“Not— not like you.” Reki’s loose hair falls even closer around his face as he shakes his head and Langa’s hands long to reach out and brush it away from his eyes.

“Reki, I can only skate because of you.” Carefully, Langa reaches out to place a hand gently on Reki’s shoulder. When Reki doesn’t shy away from the contact, a small piece of his heart repairs. “You taught me how to skate, you made me a board that I could use. All of my skating is thanks to you.”

And that, if nothing else, is the absolute truth.

“But—“

“I want to skate with you, Reki.” Langa emphasizes, the last truths rising to the light. If he’s going to do this, he might as well do it all the way. “I want it to be with you, not Adam. I don’t care about facing Adam if you’re not there with me. And I’m sorry that I made you think otherwise, I’m sorry that it took me so long to figure that out but— it’s not good if it’s not you, Reki.”

The silence that follows lasts long enough to become painful. The sun is rising behind him and the edges of Reki’s hair catch like fire in the sun, glowing and warm. He looks beautiful as he glances back up at Langa, those eyes watery again but full of so much emotion that Langa can finally recognize again.

“I want to skate with you, too, Langa.” Reki says finally, each word a balm on Langa’s battered soul.

“You do?”

“I thought— You were leaving me behind and you’re so much more talented than I am— I was afraid—“

Without any hesitation, Langa tugs Reki forward, throwing his other arm around Reki and clutching him against his chest. Reki drops the broken board somewhere along the way, his own arms wrapping around Langa as he buries his face in Langa’s shoulder, the edges of his hair brushing Langa’s jaw. And just like that, in one swift moment, Langa feels like he can see the light again.

-- x

Reki can feel his S pin, warm against his palm as he fists his hands in the back of Langa’s shirt. He can feel his S pin and Langa both pressed against him, holding his jagged edges together and he can’t help but think that this is exactly how it’s supposed to be. Because Langa may have left him behind for a little while, but he’d come back for Reki. He’d come back and gathered Reki’s broken edges, piecing him back together. He hadn’t given up on Reki even when Reki had given up on himself.

“I should’ve told you sooner,” Langa mumbles into the top of his head, his hands tight around Reki’s back, “I’m sorry, Reki. Please don’t give up skating. Please don’t leave me there alone.”

And that plea is everything Reki wanted to hear. It was everything Reki needed to know— that Langa still wanted to share this with him, that Langa would give up on his idiotic idea to go up against Adam. It was everything Reki wanted, but he knew he couldn’t take it, not like that. Because there was more that Langa wanted and if Reki accepted the apology, if Reki promised to come back to skating and to go back to how things had been, he’d be taking some of those things away from Langa. And no matter how hurt he’d been, he never wanted to take anything away from Langa, that was why he’d left. Because he wanted Langa to have everything he could ever want without feeling like Reki was holding him back.

And now Langa was here, offering to give it all up for Reki and Reki knew that he couldn’t let him do that.

“I’ll make you a deal.” Reki replies instead. He doesn’t love it, but he knows it’s the right thing to do. He knows that Langa needs this, that he needs this if they’re really going to put this behind them. “I’ll come back to S, but only to watch you kick Adam’s ass.”

“Reki?” Langa pulls away enough to look at Reki’s face, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

Reki pulls away completely, stepping back and over the broken board so that it fills the space between them again. “Someone has to beat him.”

“So let someone else do it.” Langa takes a step closer, his toes nearly brushing the board. “Not me.”

Reki shakes his head, reaching up to brush some of the longer pieces of his hair back. “It has to be you, Langa.”

And they both know that’s true, Adam won’t rest until he skates against Langa again. Adam has made it abundantly clear that he doesn’t consider anyone other than Langa a proper opponent. If someone is going to take Adam off of his high horse, it has to be Langa, whether Reki likes it or not. He doesn’t like it, not even a little bit, but Langa came back to him, Langa offered to give racing Adam up entirely. Reki has to just trust him now, to stand by his side while he races Adam, holding his breath and cheering loudly, And when it’s all over, all he can do is hope that Langa finds his way back to his side again.

Because just keeping Langa away from Adam wouldn’t be enough. Reki would always be haunted with the question, would always wonder if Langa was satisfied, if he was happy to just skate with Reki at their own pace. He needed to know, to be absolutely certain that he was the one Langa chose.

“I won’t do it.” The amount of conviction in Langa’s voice tells Reki that it’s going to be alright.

“C’mon,” Reki bends down to pick up the broken board between them. “Let’s go get started on your new board. We can figure out the rest from there.”

“Reki, I won’t— I don’t want to—“

“Yes you do.” Reki cuts in but he’s surprised to find that he’s not mad anymore. He’s not even hurt, he’s mostly just afraid. But he’s choosing to put all of his faith in Langa because so far, Langa hasn’t actually let him down. The fact that Langa is standing here in front of him at the first signs of dawn, while the rest of the world is completely asleep tells Reki that Langa hasn’t let him down yet and isn’t going to start now. “And I’ll be there when you do, okay? You know I hate him, I’ll take pleasure in watching you defeat him.”

Langa hesitates, “And if I do this, what then?”

And that answer comes to Reki surprisingly easily. “Then you’ll be the king of S. And I’ll be the one to knock you off your throne.”

The smile that spreads over Langa’s face is slow to come, but no less warm than all the ones Reki has seen in the past. “Is that a promise?”

“Yeah.” Reki says, holding a hand up in front of him. “It is.”

When Langa responds in kind, giving Reki their signature high five and fist bump combo, Reki realizes that maybe their castle wasn’t made out of cards after all. Maybe Langa wasn’t the only one who had gotten lost along the way. Because suddenly, it feels like there’s some solid foundation under his feet again. He takes off towards the garage, Langa in tow and he knows with absolute certainty that neither Adam nor the fear Reki feels in the face of him is strong enough to actually break them apart.

And when Langa kicks Adam’s ass and comes back to Reki to celebrate, well Reki might have a few other things he needs to tell him then. But for now, he relishes the feeling of his heart patching itself back together as Langa settles onto his normal stool in the garage, propping his head in his hand as Reki selects a new piece of wood to begin working with.

Everything may not be okay quite yet, Reki might still have some lingering fears and doubts, but he has Langa by his side again and he knows with Langa there, he’ll be able to overcome any of those things. Everything may not be okay quite yet, but Reki knows that soon it’s going to be okay again.

[mushroom-cartel--writing]

to be [a]sundered

Summary: Kugisaki Nobara is blessed. She will never know.

Relationship(s): Kugisaki Nobara & Reader, Kugisaki Nobara/Reader

Note(s):

Here’s the link to read this on AO3! (You know the drill, extra tags, different notes, the format I intended, etc. Oh. And the comment section.)

There’s manga spoilers in this fic alongside headcanon.

So far, out of my menial amount of JJK fics, this one has probably been the most enjoyable to write. With Nobara’s background I can play around because it’s just there.

|||

“I’m going to Tokyo,” she says. Come with me.

“No.” Can’t, sorry.

Mahito touches her soul.

Kugisaki Nobara is blessed.

She will never know.

The first time she introduces you to her friends, Saori nearly gouges your eye out with a sugar spoon and Fumi spills the contents of her cup across the table.

“I have cake,” you say, offering a cutesy box to Saori who’s still got the sugar spoon trained on you. “It’s baumkuchen. An old acquaintance gave it to me for free but I figured it’d be too much for just one person.”

Nobara, giggling, just offers you a seat and asks for more tea.

On the outskirts of the village there is a shrine.

They say it houses a god that blessed their lands long ago and watches over them to this very day; they hold a celebration in its honour every year, a small share of the harvest season’s best crop is offered up to appease the god.

Her grandparents say it houses a malevolent wonder-terror who feasts on the soul of its worshippers once the sun goes down; her grandparents say the aforementioned god and malevolent wonder-terror are one and the same, born from a wish made by humans.

You laugh when she tells you the crap people have come up about your home. (You appreciate the free food, though.)

You are not a god or something malevolent. You’re you.

Not quite divine but too powerful to sniff at.

Humans cannot see or sense you. Not even those who can bottle their negative energy, the ones you occasionally see passing through the village. Usually, you have to will yourself into existence. But she can regardless.

Spirits, the weak and strong, good nor bad, fear you. Your presence sets their survival instincts off, running immediately when you try to approach them. She has to give chase and incapacitate them for you when the hunger becomes agony.

You taught her well, it seems.

Too well.

Mahito touches her soul and it burns, burns, burns.

-

Kugisaki Nobara was barely old enough to be out on her own, but her grandparents trusted her to stay safe. The village was small, everyone knew each other, word spread fast, so if something happened to her on her small excursion… Well, no one would come looking for her, would they?

It was a lie when she said she was just going out to play with friends at the park.

Nobara didn’t have friends.

All the other kids were boring. She didn’t like their company. Whenever there was a big gathering, she’d try her best to avoid them and hide from the adults in bushes.

Despite knowing this, her grandmother let her go.

She hated being cooped inside with nothing to do and today was perfect! The humid air made her clothes stick to her skin but at least the wide-brimmed straw sunhat she snatched from her grandfather’s shed protected her from the sun’s wrath. It meant her peers would be over at the river halfway across the village; people wouldn’t go back to working on their fields until it cooled down a bit later in the day; they wouldn’t see her; and she’d be on her lonesome.

She wanted to laugh to herself. Everything was coming together.

Finally, she could check out that place she’s been meaning to visit ever since she first heard of it: the derelict shrine.

Her grandmother warned her to stay away from it, lest she give her name away by accident to the being living there and have her life stolen, but Nobara, inwardly, thought it was a load of cow dung. She’d die? Hah?! It was all superstition! (She would never admit it did spook her a bit.) Besides, things like vampires and witches and ghosts didn't exist in the first place. She’d be fine.

Humming with a skip in her step, Nobara made it to the shrine in due time.

“Hello?”

“Why hello there!”

She took everything back.

You had to be a ghost with the way you snuck up on her soundlessly. You kept insisting you weren’t. You glided along the floor.

You had to be a ghost. And now you were serving her snacks and tea. Inside the shrine. Inside what was, supposedly, your home.

“Why don’t I believe you?” she voiced aloud.

You stared at her, face deadpan, and poured hot water over your hand. She watched your skin scald. “Does this answer your question?”

Kugisaki Nobara at five years old was a bit of a skeptic, contrary to her personal beliefs.

“No. Not really.”

-

11:25 PM →

You emerge from the gaping hole where her left eye was blown out alongside a good chunk of her head, something writhing and fierce and oh-so familiar.

Ah. Right. This feeling; this foreign dread dawning upon him, piercing Mahito innermost; your dull but irritated eyes trained on the cursed spirit akin to a lizard eyeing up a cockroach. You’re like him, possessing a soul that absolutely cannot and should not be touched.

Shit—that means she too—

Hahahahaha.

You don’t even need to spare him another glance. You know what he’s thinking. You know what he’s done.

You won’t be as lenient with him as Sukuna was.

But here’s the thing. Although a student may surpass their teacher one day, the teacher might not relay all that they know to the next generation to ensure the safety of their student and those around them. However, Mahito is nothing to you. Itadori Yuuji, on the other hand, is important, so you grab him and throw the boy behind you.

“Reverberate,” you intone, bearing the exact same wounds as her.

His senses are heightened a thousandfold, but not nearly are they even close to yours.

You shove a nail of hers into yourself, saying, “Plunge.”

It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, ithurtsithurtsithurts, hurtshurtshurtshurtshurTshURtsHURTS.

“Quietus.”

“We’re soulmates, you and me.”

She bursts out laughing. “Like from those cheesy dramas?” Nobara asks. Because. She needs to know. Whenever she’s around you, everything feels… right. It’s hard to articulate. Her heart doesn’t rush when you graze her skin but the particular spot where contact was made always tingles with a reassuring warmth; you’re real, not a fabrication of her imagination. She doesn’t fantasise about you like the way her peers do with the object of their affections. Your very presence makes her comfortable. “Are you having second thoughts?” she jeers, poking you hard in the ribs. (She’s still bitter about your decision.)

The intended jab has no effect.

“No,” is your reply. “What I mean is that your soul and mine are the same. If something happens to you, I’ll know.”

“What? You think I’m gonna be some part of a demonic summoning ritual where I’ll be a human sacrifice?”

“Time and distance makes no difference.”

“So if I just say the word…?”

“That… that’s not what I…” You sigh and scrub the gunk from your eyes.

How are you supposed to explain the whole situation to her?

Oh, yeah, about a couple aeons ago there was a being who tore themself in two—one part immortal, the other mortal—in order to understand their reason for existing. Their immortal self would be stagnant and observe their mortal self who would continuously live, die and reincarnate, until the latter, under their own volition, sought the former out and then a conclusion would be made between the two on whether or not they would remain as separate entities or rejoin together as one again.

Your original self (you and her; her and you) wasn’t great at planning ahead, that is plain to see. They didn’t think about the consequences, they just wanted an out. And fast.

Well look at you now. Distorted beyond reason. You’re an exercise in self-destruction. You stopped considering it being a miracle that you could wake up every morning by yourself and do what you wanted: the novelty was short-lived. You want to die but you’re at the point where it’s easier to convince yourself you do not than to focus on how you will off yourself somewhere that no one (and nothing) can find your undecayed corpse because the company you keep will become worried if you let the happy facade slip.

“Never mind,” you mutter.

-

She was ten when she first saw the skull.

It tumbled from your billowing sleeve as you rummaged around your pockets, rolling to a stop at her feet.

She lifted it up. “Whose is this?”

It was a weird skull, not like those she’d seen in her textbooks. She thought of asking Fumi about the skull later, when school started back up, but the idea was literally snatched from her mind when you saw exactly what she was holding.

In your hands, the skull seemed smaller. Inconsequential. Another another weird quirk of yours: carrying around random things. Maybe it was a model? You told her to forget about it and stowed the skull away—back into your sleeve—and dragged her along the beaten path you insisted on walking.

The next time, she was thirteen and helping you clear up your home. Fumi was there too.

They’d been going through a closet stuffed full of old junk and out the skull tumbled, right into Fumi’s lap. Rightfully so, her friend screamed. It took you several minutes to calm the poor girl down, her view of you now askew. Nobara was on your side when Fumi tried convincing you whomever the skull belonged to deserved a proper burial out in the forest and you refused.

No matter how hard she tried, you would not budge.

And that was that.

(From then on, whenever you made yourself visible to Fumi, she regarded you warily before seeing the way you looked at Nobara like she hung the stars and the moon.)

The last time the skull made an appearance in her life, Nobara had just turned fifteen.

A strange pair of men were at her door at the crack of dawn, rousing her grandparents, which prompted them to drag Nobara out of bed at such a god-awful time of the day. They all sat at a table soberly, discussing her future while Nobara found her attention gravitating to you.

You were playing with a stray cat in the garden, its stomach presented to you eagerly so soon after it deemed you safe, and making the most disgusting cooing noises she had ever heard to it with a dopey grin.

It was only at the call of her name that her head snapped back forward.

Yaga Masamichi was a strange one, tinkering so openly with a corpse in front of her deeply superstitious grandparents, but, strangely enough, it was his companion, a shock of white hair and bandage, that caught her eye. The young man was looking your way.

Not at the cat pawing up at thin air. Oh no. The blindfolded stranger’s gaze was dead set on you; she saw his brow raise minutely as Yaga and her grandparents continued talking, her tools of trade that was cobbled together from old sheds and the local hardware store bared flat on the table; she watched him watch you rub the cat’s belly before you lifted it high into the air like a parent would to their child. It was obvious what the situation playing out was: you had caught on to the stranger’s sighting of you long before she did. To emphasise the fact, you even babbled to the cat, “Higher, higher! Oopsie-daisy!!” before letting it back down and nuzzling it against your face, affectionate and close.

Yaga only noticed the change in atmosphere when the cat’s meows suddenly went quiet. But the other one (white hair, bandages, feels wrong, rotting flesh and fresh) grinned, slapping an enrollment form on the table.

“You. Leave that thing behind when you come to our school,” said Gojou Satoru, his introduction earlier all pomp and a wellspring of positive energy memes a stark comparison to now as he continued watching you, all but ignoring her grandmother shouting up at him to stop spouting nonsense.

(“What drivel! My granddaughter surely won’t—”)

She went back to spacing out in your direction.

Without hesitation, you dropped the cat into your gaping maw and swallowed it whole in one gulp. The first cursed spirit you managed to catch by yourself. Your ability at masking your aura was improving. That was good.

The skull peeked out of your hoodie’s pocket, the many orbits winking at her.

Screw the rules, you were coming with her whether the bureaucracy liked it or not.

-

At this rate, she’s going to die for sure.

You know what to do.

You’re one and the same. If Mahito touched one half of your original self and corrupted it, reason dictates that giving her body (the container) yours will fix her. But there’s a problem.

The implosion practically ruined her chances of survival, reducing it to null.

Not even a high grade sorcerer could hope to reverse the damage. Bone is a special material. Bone takes time to be cultivated or to grow. For a jujutsu user, especially, a substitute of different material won’t cut it. Bone, like the soul, contains an essence of sorts, it’s one of the few natural conductors of negative energy humans can have.

Your point: bone is not easily replaced.

Kneeling over Nobara, you grab from the air the object you were entrusted with over a millennium ago for safekeeping.

“Oi, oi, oi, you. You. Freak-god-thing.” You regard Itadori Yuuji with disdain. Or rather, the lone eye and accompanying mouth that’s on his cheek. “Is that what I think it is.”

“What? Are you objecting? Or worse—obstructing?”

“I don’t know about you or the brat, but you’re gonna fuck up the girl if you do that.”

“And since when did the King of Curses grow a heart?”

“I fucking didn’t, you prick.” The eye manages to scowl without a brow. “I’m just saying… You are sending her to condemnation.”

“Says the finger shagger,” you retort. The mouth disappears; Itadori Yuuji has an indescribable expression on his face but you know he won’t try and stop your hare-brained idea, he wants what you want.

You know what you’re doing.

You’ve had to do this a few times before.

It will work.

“Hello?”

A child? Who in their right mind would—

You freeze in your tracks. It’s them, your mind exclaims. It’s them. Them. Them. Them.

… Her.

You walk up behind her, beaming.

“Why hello there!” you chime, so, so happy.

[ymbly]

Sanders Sides Fan Fic: Switched

Chapter 1/?

AN: This chapter follows quite close to the first episode of the show, but as the fic goes on it will go a bit more out on its own

-

Three.

There were three. 

Apathy, Pride, Judgment.

Logan, Roman, Patton.

Dark, evil, ‘Dark Sides’.

-

Three.

There were three.

Caution, passion, self preservation.

Virgil, Remus, Janus.

Light, good, ‘Light Sides’.

-

One.

Thomas.

Thomas Sanders.

His role in this was more confusing than the world itself. 

-

Sides.

Strange beings with much of them unknown. 

All of which wore the same face.

Each with their own color the rainbow.

The one thing that made each unique.

-

Things had been unchanged for decades. Everybody had their roles. Their part to play. Their domain of Thomas’ psyche. 

They each had something to do. A job that never changed. Perhaps that’s why several were growing bored of their current lives.

-

--

---

----

---

--

-

A web series wasn’t exactly Janus’ favorite idea of Thomas. In fact, he heavily disliked the idea of Thomas creating one. Not to mention the fact that the web series was supposed to include the sides in it. Now that, he despised even more. He’d much prefer Thomas to be out pursuing a more traditional path to fame, but what could he do? It’s not like he was the one driving Thomas’ passion.

Virgil wasn’t against the idea by any means, more just the fact that he had to be in it. Being the literal embodiment of caution didn’t exactly help with this by any means. The camera hadn’t even started yet and he already felt like his heart was going to burst out of his ribcage. However, nobody else seemed to notice this since over the years he’d gotten quite good at disguising his fear. 

Remus was always excited to do something new, so this was no different. He felt as if there was electricity running through his veins. The kind of excitement mixed with slight anxiety that leaves you feeling drained later but pumped up in the moment.

Thomas had nearly finished the intro, and while there was little script for the sides, they all knew soon would be the time for them all to join in on the conversation.

“I need to have a sit down with myself, figure myself out, and maybe come to a better understanding that we all could learn from. Let’s do this!”

Virgil was the first pop up, oh god why did he have to be first?

“Hey,” Virgil greeted simply as he appeared on screen.

“This is my cautious side,” Thomas began, “My fears, fight or flight, all of that is in his domain. He’s also a constant reminder of my emo phase.”

“Hey-!” 

“Hey did you know that one fourth of the bones in your whole body are in your feet?” Remus quickly interrupted as he rose up. Virgil let out a quiet sigh at Remus’ introduction. Could’ve been worse though, so there was that. 

Thomas paused for a second before speaking, “This is my passionate side...somehow. Everything that keeps going, and random facts too apparently.”

“Gotta spice things up sometimes, Thomathy,” Remus replied.

“How is a random fact about bones ‘spicing things up’?”

“I’m surprised things aren’t more derailed,” Janus stated as he finally appeared in the room.

“We’re close,” Virgil answered as he eyed Remus. The chaoticness could be annoying, but he didn’t mind it too much usually. 

“And finally this is my self preservation,” Thomas started as he went back to his cheerful attitude from before, “Well, not as much in the physical sense, but trying to make sure I get by okay in life…I think,” Thomas attempted to explain.

“He also looks like he stepped right out of Spirit Halloween,” Virgil quietly said under his breath while looking at Janus.

“Says the one who looks like he hasn’t seen a mirror in weeks,” Janus replied. 

“Now enough of that, you two can fight when we’re not recording,” Thomas quickly added, breaking off the short argument.

“So what are we doing here anyways?” Virgil questioned.

“Well, people know me from all the Vines I make, but I don’t feel like people really know me know me.”

“Well perhaps they would if you posted YouTube videos more often,” Janus replied.

With a slightly annoyed look on his face, Thomas responded, “Okay, all right, that’s fair,” Thomas quickly started, “But I don’t know if I know me! There’s some things even I need to figure out about my own identity. Like, okay, relationships.”

“A one way ticket to-,” Remus began.

“Let’s not go through that door,” Janus cut in.

“Just gotta find somebody that will accept you for your flaws, I guess,” Virgil adds.

“Everybody does have their own flaws, and you could say that love is about accepting those,” Janus tried to explain. 

“Yes, that is definitely important. Flaws and all. Speaking of which-.”

“Are we bringing up flaws now? ‘Cause you have more than -” Remus quickly began.

“Passion, sto-,” Virgil started before being interrupted.

“I believe this would be of interesting conversation,” Janus once again cut in.

“You’re so fucking boring!” Remus said to Thomas.

“You’re often too selfless,” Janus added in.

“You keep changing your path in life, like all the time, way too often,” Virgil finally gets out.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” Thomas quickly said after. 

“Well, remember everybody does have flaws,” Janus reassured.

“You’ve got good parts about you too, like uh, like you’re alive,” Virgil replied since he couldn’t think of a compliment.

“You aren’t a murderer,” Remus started, “Yet!” 

“Excellent compliments, guys,” Janus remarked as he rolled his eyes, “You try your best to get your work done and it shows. There, not that hard.”

“Well, thanks I guess, guys,” Thomas responded.

“It’s hard to think of stuff on the spot, okay?” Virgil attempted to reassure him as he messed with the strings of his hoodie. 

“Okay then, what else do I need to figure out?”

“Biggest fear?” Virgil quickly replied without thinking.

“Being boring!” Remus quickly answered.

“What happens after death,” Janus followed.

“What if you were stuck in a state of limbo for the rest of your life-,” Virgil began to reply to his own question as his eyeshadow slightly darkened.

“No, no, we are not talking about fears! I am well aware of those! I am talking about what I need to figure out about myself,” Thomas anxiously interjected. 

“Would you eat a clone of yourself if you had no other source of food?” Remus spontaneously questioned.

“Not...not those kinds of questions, Remus,” Thomas replied with a sigh.

“What kind of an impact do you wish to leave on the world?” Janus added, replacing Remus’ question with his own.

With that began the end of the video and Thomas’ speech to the viewer. Virgil felt less anxious than he thought he’d be, Remus felt, well, like Remus, and Janus felt a bit drained but other than that quite good. One by one, they sank out. Virgil, however, couldn’t stop a thought from rattling around the back of his head. What if this series provoked the dark sides?

-

I don’t write much so it might not be the best but hey I tried

Ao3 link

Edit: Formatting is a little weird because tumblr doesn’t let me do it the way I like

[jjba-hell]

Revoked

Still late for day 2 but I am enjoying the hell out of these prompts. (Today’s prompt was sci-fi)

Trigger warnings for the death of the ice cream gays but lemme know if I missed anything else.

Summary: a weird mismatched team of busted up aliens and half-blood humans just dealing with some shit.

For the lovely: @lasquadraweek2021

“You should really just transfer to a new body Pros. Humans aren’t supposed to live this long, babe.”

You grumble probably more to yourself than to the man whose forearm you were tinkering in. Well... maybe tinkering wasn’t the word either. He needed another repair and honestly you can’t help but feel like Risotto only offered you the air-mattress in the ship because so many of these psychos have bio-tech they can’t afford to upkeep.

“Sure, I can’t afford a rewire but I can surely afford getting my brain transplanted in a new body.”

“Human bodies are so easy to grow though.” You peer up at him over your magnify glasses with a wriggle of eyebrows. “Fully grown in a quarter rotation? Come on I still have to wait another half rotation to buy a swimsuit let alone grow a body.”

Prosciutto flexed the hand you were working on to spite you but all you did was strap the wrist down and switch off the impulse circuit before getting up and walking toward the exit of the ship where the others were sprawled out in the soft baby blue grass of the planet you were hiding out at.

Melone’s gaze shot from laptop up as you kicked your untied boots from your feet and slid into the grass, barely hearing him as he asked “Any luck with Pros’s arm?”

“I can’t keep mending the same two wires that keep popping off. Its best we find a place that can handle Babyface’s software and get a new one.”

“Still not budging for just replacing the whole thing?” Formaggio asked from somewhere across the clearing.

Like he was one to talk- Akils like him grew back heads and limbs, there wasn’t exactly a need to know anything about biotech.

“Nope. Are all humans this stubborn?”

“I think its the half Megnu in him.” Illuso was the one to chirp in this time.

“That’s still not confirmed.” You sat back on your feet to try and spot your teammates.

“Well he won’t let me analyze.” Melone sighed- continuing to worry away at the clear glass screen that held all his designs.

Melone truly was a bit of a madman to you- he designed the entirety of his body on that simple glass tablet and yet couldn’t finish his face in time before the feds were on him for unethical medical practice- ironic considering he was only putting himself through the strain of fitting his brain into a piece of machinery. What his official titles were in his old field were beyond you.

“Pesci’s not all Scud and he’s not half as stubborn.” You commented and with a soft hum the team fell back into silence.

“Where’s Ris?”

“He’s in bed- that last jump took a toll on him.” Illuso finally rose up from the grass himself heading a bit further away from the clearing, probably wandering after Ghiacchio who was asked to take a lap after he froze off Formaggio’s finger.

You clambered up a few steps to find your captain with the old-fashioned two-way radio in his hand as he lay passed out on couch of the shared living room.

Risotto would rather be caught dead than caught like this so, with intent, you stepped up to take the radio out of his hand. He seemed to gently wake at your fingers prying the piece or equipment from his hand.

“Shit.” He grumbled. “How long-?”

“Ghiacchio’s not even back from his lap- don’t worry. Just head off before they catch you.”

And with a slight groan he rolled up and disappeared down the hallways to his bunk which sounded with an ungraceful “clunk” as he fell into the bed.

Your name got hollered with the slightest tone of desperation from Prosciutto and with that you were back doing your part in the team behind the scene.

“You’re a purebred?” Prosciutto had eventually asked after a few minutes of boredom at watching you weld wires back to the motherboard.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “What am I? A dog?”

He seemed to swallow his words.

“Where do you think I’m from?” You tried to smooth it over.

“Caestea- at least your appearance would have you look like that.”

Another laugh. “I’m from Earth, Pros.”

His eyes widened. “Impossible.”

“Oh yeah. My parents weren’t exactly refugees but they are most certainly not human. Fuck knows what my genetic makeup looks like but thankfully I certainly age like a Caestean. You are all human, huh?”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “Not that there are many of us left.”

In a sense you felt bad for him. You’d seen photos of Earth long before it started to mimic its brother planet Mars but you rarely thought of how wickedly the planet must have lost its life before intergalactic intervention. Humans were strangely scared and selfish creatures but no one deserved to die because there was no clean water to drink.

You shook off the macabre though before closing up Pros’s arm and putting away the tools. “That should do for now but we really do need to think of a replacement in the near future.”

“Thanks.”

It was a half-assed thank you but it surely caught your attention. Pros was a little too prideful to give just anyone a thanks but nonetheless you returned the sentiment. “No problem.”

Outside the boys were fighting again- or rather Ghiacchio was arguing as Formaggio was pushing his buttons while Pesci grilled a rather obscenely colorful fish over the fire-in-tin.

“Oh just the person we needed to see.”

Getting clasped with two arms over the neck was bad enough but from Sorbet and Gelato, now that was trouble waiting to start.

“Oh gods, what do I have to offer this time.”

“Don’t be so serious!” Sorbet cooed darkly.

“We were just hoping you could help us out with the next target.” His boyfriend added.

If you could just roll your eyes back far enough.

“Wandering off from our captain’s orders doesn’t sound like something I’d want to get myself involved in.”

“Not even for a bionic manufacturer?”

“Or a healing bay, for the ship? Surely you could install those things no problem.”

Honestly it was hard not to fall for the stereotype that all Makzi’s do is play dirty and haggle like merchants but here you were, stuck between them and being tempted into breaking formation with them.

“And what would I have to lose?”

“Nothing much-“

“Maybe some face with Risotto.”

You couldn’t help but scoff. “You want me to convince him?”

“Exactly- he might actually consider something if it came out of your pretty mouth.”

“Or rather, if he could come in it.”

You took one step back and bowed out of the hold between the two of them. “Fucking sleezes. Your shit’s gonna get you killed, mark my words.”

“So its a no?”

“Its a fuck no, Sorbet. Vile comments aside, that shit is expensive, even dent-jobs sell for millions... that kind of money is too big a job for us to handle right now and stealing one even more. Get your heads out of your asses before you come up to me with more dumb shit, next time.”

And with that you slipped back beside Illuso as Pesci was grilling up the third fish for the night. Looking back at what you had said was not untrue. That night you were restless in your bunker above Formaggio- Illuso peering behind the sliding divider across the little hallway that ran between the bed bunks.

“Something on your conscience?”

“No.”

“You sure?” You nearly leapt out of skin as Formaggio’s forehead popped up just below your chin outside your divider. “You’ve turned and kicked like 10 times, babe.”

“Please don’t babe me.” You frown at him but you answered the gnawing feeling by asking. “Where are Sorbet and Gelato?”

“Probably in their bed.” Illuso answered as if there wasn’t a more logical answer.

“Wanna put money on it?” Your eyebrow raised.

“And catch them in the act? Daaamn you’re dirtier than I thought.”

“Come on then, 10 drinks at the next stop they’re not in their bunk.”

“Shit, I can’t miss on that opportunity.” Formaggio’s divider slid open all the way to allow him to plop with bare feet to the double bunks at the end of the hallway.” You and Illuso watched in trepidation as he knelt down and knocked. There was no answer save for Risotto’s stern frown behind the top divider making an appearance. “What do you want?”

“Are Sorbet and Gelato in there?” You piped up first.

The angry frown turned into concern as he slid out of his bunk to replace where Formaggio was. He slid the door open to reveal one big empty bed.

What you’d have given to be wrong. But instead the panic bit you all and soon you were messily slipping on boots and running around the ship to find the missing lovers.

Pesci checked the engine compartments he might have accidentally left open, Pros checked the storage while Risotto was seeing if he could track them on the radar. It was only when you were hoisted onto the roof by Formaggio that the dread set into your bones.

“Tell Ris to switch on the overhead console lights.”

You called back down below you. Part of you wished you didn’t... since all it did was put them on display.

It was a vile thing that made Risotto’s eyes grow darker than they already were and once dawn broke, you and Melone quietly put the bodies into the best makeshift body bags you could manage. The lake a few paces away was where you last saw those body bags.

After you left that pit stop you sat in silence in the communal meeting area, your legs flung over one of the armrests in your seat- staring blankly at the coffee table you’d nipped from a market not too long ago.

“So... what’s the plan?”

You asked at anyone who would listen.

“Do we go on as usual? Find their families?”

“Revenge?”

Your head turned to Prosciutto as he was enjoying one last drag of his cigarette.

“You’re brave.” You huffed a bit of laughter at the thought. The big boss and his cronies- the only real reason none of you strayed from Risotto’s orders was way up on a station so far up the intergalactic alliance ladder that you’d have a better shot at killing the king of Gnomia B908 and getting away with it.

“Why not?” Illuso was the one to back it. “Surely we could track the sick fucks that did it.”

“You’re thinking too simply.” Risotto grumbled over his fist. “They didn’t get themselves killed by accident. This was deliberate- a display not to challenge the higher ups.”

“Any idea what they were planning?” You sat up, propping your elbows onto your knees.

Risotto kindly pulled up their hidden plans- your name encircled in red a few times. They seemed to have had their eye on a biotech printer and medbay that was once used by the Boss himself.

“What’s the relevance of an old medbay?” Pros posed the question to you- Melone was up front with Formaggio.

“Medbays need to keep track of any irregularities in DNA to avoid any incompatibility issues. Its one of the few things that can’t be wiped because its burned into the drive. They were trying to expose the Boss’s identity.”

“And they were planning on risking us all in the process?”

You pointed at a little arrow shooting off your name once more. “They figured I could remove and replace the hard drive before anyone noticed.”

Your throat felt dry as you realized what that meant. Whoever this person was... if they could follow something as irrelevant as a used medbay to keep their tracks clean... chances are you were all, at best, being watched.

The thought must have been shared as Risotto didn’t breathe a word as he moved to the front of the ship and changed course to an unaffiliated vector you know damn well you’d probably be searched and cleansed for.

To no one’s surprise the pristine white towers blinded and no sooner than two seconds of coming into orbit of one of the bigger planets you were requested to land.

You stood beside you captain as the ship docked and you waited with your hands behind your head to greet the haz-mat team. “You must be pretty serious about this if you’re willing to get sit in their prison.”

He gazed down at you and with a deadpan tone simply said: “You’ve escaped, I’m certain you could do it again.”