#god this hurt jesus christ

[crimson-phantom-designs]

I'm suppose to be writing on chapter 15 and what do I do? Find my final notes in research to the suspected ending of the story I then write out one of the finale scenes with new embellishment full of dark poety to one another.

They meet again years later to just sit side by side onlooking a skeleton of conjoined twins before them in this anatomy/oddity museum as Ebenezer makes comparisons while finally pondering if it really is Francis or death himself taking a form of familiarity to walk him through the veil. Because why would he come back now? After years of this anniversary passing to just letters being shared.

I hurt my soul before they even reunite in the story.

Why do I do this to myself? I Listened to Bach's Aria of Goldberg Variations, Bloodfest. THAT'S WHAT.

It's a large scene heavily subject to change with much polishing in spaces but this snippet... oof... I see sticking to a degree and definitely plan to make a art cover pertaining to this. It just struck me. Clip is below the cut. (Its not really a spoiler but stuck it there anyway being it is so far into the very poignant direction of the story.)

This man was going to be his death one day, Ebenezer well knew it but was he brave enough for such consequence?

Or was it possibly he was death himself? Of so, that would certainly be poetic... What entity who had come to sit with him before taking him off this mortal plain to take a form with such connection it knew he would step through that veil with ease. He glanced back across the spot they had been, truly wondering. Had he collapsed on the floor and drained his last breath? He seen no body splayed or slumped where he previously had been. What his spirit would have been pulled from to leave behind.

Having seen such entities, nothing would suprise him at this point. He had seen them transform into familiars- even himself -and it was something he had pondered on frequently. How exactly these spirits would return when he was meant to step out that portal indefinitely...

Surely it wouldn't appear as his once future had draped as a skeletal being cloaked with claws and burning eyes, christ no that would be terrifying... No... it would return as something recognizable. Someone who drew contentment and desire in the abandon to follow. To bring peace...

The thought frightened him for a moment. Not the act itself nor his once ideal of the nothingness that was out there, he knew what was waiting now and he was ready to die whenever that come. It was fear had he truly redeemed himself to weight his soul appropriately on that scale to evade the cold, coiling chains, threatening to drag him down to the icy, unforgiving depths... Yes, that still did...

Yet he also found himself touched how a spirit might take this form knowing the solace he would take in it. That put him back at ease to such possibility.

It made his mind wonder curiously if his form would take on the man's final moments as well. If seeing his form come to take him would yeild that same effect. He found that beautifully romantic in its own merit of morbidity. Truly conjoined, even to pass through death.

He glanced up at the man again now softly smiling. Thinking eyes wondering if truly as the man only regarded him back with the same reflection, seemingly questioning his thoughts yet Ebenezer didn't dare ask for such certainty. He also didn't want that to be let known, if truly it being the tangible man himself, how deep into obscurity his mind had truly gone. All he knew was he was walking alongside him now, intrusting him with his balance as the pain in his hip had subside. It was a foolish endeavor by any means to be so content with his fate, whomever this was. Be it really Francis, Death or the truly Devil himself to come claim him.

Yet he found himself not truly caring, even if it was just a simple share of a passing moment of personal contentment as fleeting as life itself. He would happily encounter that when it was revealed with wonder and exploration, like he always had with this man be it painful or pleasured if not both.

As they depart the sun shined brightly outside and cast shadows strech along the walls like fitments inside the displays as they left...

[thewalrusespublicist]

'I didnt mention this in the book but from time to time John would say to me ''I wonder what Paul is thinking about, right now.'' I said John, I've only met him a couple of times in my life you know ... I have no idea. And John would ask ''Do you think he thinks about me at all?'''

Elliot Mintz about his 70s conversations with John Lennon, Beatles Podcast 2024

“Also not obvious is that McCartney [for the Liverpool Oratorio] has penned a gorgeous black-spiritual-like piece for mezzo-soprano that intones the last words spoken to John Lennon as he lay dying of gunshot wounds in the back of a New York police car – "Do you know who you are?” McCartney gets a bit choked up at one point when he reveals, “Not a day goes by when I don’t think of John.”

Interview with Paul McCartney, 1991

[halflifebutawesome]

playing my game with my friend

[thesarcasticism]

no fuck you don't tell me the first time shinjiro calls kotone by her first name is in THIS fucking scene

[crazycoven]

luffytaro and usohachi ♥💛

[choccorin]

WOWOWJRJDNEJNFDJUEHFJEBD

[lil-cattz]

yall im too fucking h!gh rn

[dhmis-autism]

trying to make an earnest. like serious fluffybird playlist. without any sillies and its making me so depressed I'm like oh yeah. this is never working. this is a completely and utterly hopeless endeavor. there's a small possibility they could find momentary comfort in each others companies but it would be far outweighed by the grief they would cause each other and the sheer amount of misery they could uniquely inflict on each other. This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here…nothing valued is here.

[alexjcrowley]

Just saw the F1 (Brad Pitt) movie trailer thanks I hate it

[tvlipsandbread]

My take on church hurt as a Christian: there’s this guy on TikTok, and all his videos have #exchristian, and his bio states “agnostic- atheist” so you can guess what his videos are about. He posted something that I lowk agreed with and I went to the comments, someone said “bro’s entire personality is being an exchristian” as an insult which is crazy to me. Do we realize that when this happens we’re partially, if not fully at fault?. Imagine your entire being is used to hate something or someone that you don’t even believe in, there must be a lot of hurt for that to happen. We hurt him, we hurt them. “You worship God not the people in the church” I agree, but it’s obvious that the people in the church play a huge role, it’s obvious that if there’s a judgmental, toxic environment that person will pull away, if you disagree don’t even bother to say anything because you don’t have the level iq needed for basic reasoning. God literally sent Jesus (a human!!) to act as a bridge between Him and us. I’m really tired, like really sick and tired of seeing this happen. When was spreading the gospel ever meant to be discrediting someone’s beliefs in order enforce yours? Never! That’s not what we’re supposed to do, does that not sound like dictatorship??. All we can do is share our beliefs and faith, not aggressively shove it down a throat, live by example, whether someone decides to convert or accept our beliefs is not our problem, it’s theirs and God’s. I’ll forever remember the time a close friend of mine shared why they pulled away from the religion, and just religion in general, the way she was treated, treated like?? Like she was dirty and needed cleansing, treated like she committed the most heinous crime and needed the sin beat out of her, all because she just doesn’t like boys the way I do😐. Glad to say that she hasn’t seen anyone from that congregation in two years. Time for us to be better

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

So I was reading articles about John Hurt (as I do when I procrastinate on life in general lol) and I saw a still shot of a movie I’ve never seen still shots of before; so I looked it up. It’s a play. I was worried I wouldn’t find it in full online; but I did, so here it is in all its glory:

He’s just… ugh I want to gently hold his face in my hands he’s just so sad and lonely with his weepy voice and eye bags. I couldn’t process half of what he said but I think this is a warning about always speed-running through life to get to the next good thing. We should appreciate the moment; because in the end, we’ll have nothing at all but our memories. If we rush through life, we won’t have any memories to keep us warm at night when the chill of death creeps up on us in our old age.

Also, spool, spooooooooooollll…….

spoooooooooooooooooooooolllllll [cackles in mentally unstable]

@kaleidoscopr @theindo @possessedbydevils @randomtwospirit

[madame-mongoose]

better bite on that bone or you’re never going home!!! ^_^

OH WHA SRT THE TFUCK DUDE

[fiendishartist2]

imagine going somewhere that you know you might not come back from. imagine leaving behind half-formed friendships and the facimile of your old ones, hand in hand with ppl who want you dead, because its the right thing to do. imagine you don't come back, just like you anticipated, except thats not entirely true. you dont survive, but some force stops you from leaving in peace; it leaves your body lifeless because it has no use for you besides the terror your mind can inflict on others, but it just won't let you die. imagine one day, you're free from the mental prison you've been trapped in. you wake up, but you're still not alive. you're cold and empty and no one looks at you the same because they can't stand to look at you. it hurts because you can't do anything but hurt people anymore. imagine you had no choice in this, except you did, didn't you? its all your fault because you were too curious, too naive, too prideful, too stupid. its all your fault, just like you always thought, and now everyone agrees with you. imagine they wish you hadn't woken up, and you can't help but agree with them. and yet, you do everything in your power to save them all, while you still have people left to save. because you're still you, even if your friends see an animated corpse in your place. you hold onto your humanity with white knuckles and gritted teeth because its all you have left of yourself. and you still lose by the end because you were set up to fail since the beginning. because you are jonathan sims, and the world has no sympathy for you

[crimeronan]

"i think i have a pretty good handle on the emotional landscape in this story even though i don't really relate myself to anything happening right now," i say, right before making myself grieve so hard i feel like i'm gonna throw up in this coffeeshop,

[shinjiist]

wip wjatever i dont care im going crazy ive been waiting to draw them all day