#god the drop him! now.... maybe you're a man and i'm your dog..
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nadjasnandor · 7 months ago
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What We Do in the Shadows | 6.10. - "The Promotion"
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fluer-the-fairy · 1 month ago
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𝕶𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗𝖔𝖘
Chapter 1 Batfam x Card-Captor!reader
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♡ previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next ♡
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"Y/N!!!!"
You're falling. Falling down from a height that could kill you with nothing to break your fall. The air hitting your face is suffocating, Too much for you little lungs to handle
But if only it was that. And not the fact that there was massive outer worldly bird trying to Impale you to death
'Pause'
Now how on earth did you of all people get here?
Y/n  L/n or Y/n Wayne depends on who you're asking.
A Fourth grader at Gotham elementary. 
Nothing special really. Yet here you are, with tiny yellow mascot yelling instructions at you while you playa around trying to figure out how to use the powers you had been gifted.
Let's rewind shall we? Recap on this came to be in the first place?
How about we go back.... 
to this morning!
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"Damn It I'm late again!?" The young girls voice echo's as she dashes her way down the stairs. Speeding through the kitchen putting just about anything she finds into her mouth
"Young miss please eat slowly, You still have plenty time to get to school"  Alfred please, stopping you from eating a fork with nothing on it.
You stand unwavering, downing another slice of bread as quickly as your throat would let you "There no time I have to leave before that-" 
"Seems that the monster has awakened" Damian stands near the door, looking frustrated. You swear the more he furrows his brows like that the older he's going to look. Like an old greasy man.
You would say it to his face. But You would want him to beat you like he did on your first meeting.
The reason you go an hour early to school.
Not because you're in a million clubs you're in nor because your a class lead.
Because of him. Damian Wayne
The only one who gave you attention. Attention you don't need.
You're Half Brother. 
Don't call him that though. He'll have his stupid feelings hurt about being compared to a 'bastard'.
Every encounter with him is nothing short from exhausting.
You should've guessed that when he threatened your life the first time you met him. And yet poor naïve you, chased after them for their attention like a dog.
Thank god that's changed
Otherwise this your story would truly be obnoxious.
But leave it, he is just a minor obstacle in you're day. 
You quickly grab you're book bag before turning to leave. Of course not before stepping on Damian's foot. Rushing to the door putting on your roller skates  and skating out the door before the spawn of Satan can catch up to you.
Now, It's commonly know that Gotham isn't the safest. 
Being an unarmed civilian walking down the streets is enough to draw threats.
Now an unarmed young school girl, criminal's would have a field day!
But not with you apparently? You don't know why...
You've only been jumped once going down these streets and that time you had stabbed the assholes with the ends of your Rollerblades. Let's be honest you did more than that 
But surely, that alone is not enough scare away every fool who thinks of robbing you. Surely not!
Hahahahahaha... Of course not....
 Once in a while there's always an idiot whose ego defeats their logic. A dumbass who doesn't know how to be cautious. A dimwit who can't listen to other's warning.
"Drop you bag, a-a-and take off your skates while your at it-!"
Poor guy, seems like it's his first day robbing someone. Picked the wrong kid though...
You skate closer "My bag?"
"Y-yes..." he stutter's...
You smile, wide. That'll be the last thing he'll see before having the day lights knocked out of him.
.
...
....
Let's not talk about what happened back there okay? 
You totally did not kick that man head first into a dumpster. But hey its not even close to the worst you've done. You made 
sure he didn't bleed, oh how nice of you!
 Let's leave it at that.
Sliding your way through the school gate you finally get inside the entrance hall. A bit early...That's rare. Maybe it's going to rain today.
You take off your skates and place them in your locker. 
While we wait for you to finally get to class let's have a debrief shall we?
What on god green earth made you think it was a good idea to skate your way to school?
Well it's not like you had a choice! Sure your father is a multimillionaire-billionaire what ever-! And you probably could go to school with the rest of your siblings....in the car...with no danger.
Or! You could not interact with Damian what so ever and find your own way to school.
To you the second option sounds better.
"Oh! Good morning Y/n!" Chiharu beams. Rika, Naoko, and Tomoyo turn to you.
"I'm not late...am I?" 
"Nope You're early actually!" Tomoyo says as she walks 
towards you and hugs you tight.
"Good...I was so sure I was going to be late" You pat your chest. The adrenaline settling down.
The rest of the day went through a blur, Math, Science, Home Eco and finally cheer practice. Before you know it your one your way home. You used to go home with Alfred in the car, since your school time ends early. But ever since that roach  Damian joined your school you decided to take the long way home.
Toya and Yukito would usually walk you home. Tomoyo too when she doesn't have classes which is most days but not today. You'll just have to walk your self home...
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It's quiet... a little too quiet. It's past 10 pm. Your sure that the family's out on their night business. Not that they know you know, but doesn't take a genius to guess. 
Especially since you live with them. 
But it's eerily quiet... So quiet that the sound of the wind makes you jump.
Slowly making your way out of your room into the long empty hallway. I doesn't help that the wing your room is in is barely maintained, making it even more creepy.
After what felt like an eternity of walking you stop. Infront of the library door.... Why were you here? 
A thud comes from inside. Followed by rustles. Did someon3 break in?? No dumbass there no way this house even a bit unprotected. Surely it's Alfred inside. I shouldn't bother him...
No...I can't leave without calming my nerves, there's no way I can sleep tonight with this much adrenaline
You slowly creak the door open. Peeking through the door before walking in. The rustling stopped but you could still hear this sound.
Following the sound lead you to the book. A red book with gold accents and a lion with angel wings on the front?
The clow...  was written on the top.
You really shouldn't be holding something like this... Yet something compelled you to open it.
You were only able to open the first few pages, the rest being glued with the center being cut out. Inside were a set of cards.
Pulling one out, Windy was the cards name. With a beautiful fairy as its image. Was this some kind of Rpg card game thing...? It looks fun...
"Windy..." You read out loud. You shouldn't have...
A magic circle forms underneath you as a gust of wind swirls around you. The cards fly out of the book following the wind before flying out in all directions.
What.
The.
■■■■-!?
Oh No No no no no no no no-! This bad- This is SO bad. You're ■■■■ your so ■■■■!
Your family life is shitty as it is. Now you've lost something from the library, Not to mention that it looked important. oh you dumb ■■■■ what were you thinking even stepping foot into this room-
Yawn  "How long have I been asleep for~" a yellow creature floats in front of you.
You stare at it as it stretches is plush arms and rub its dot eyes.
"Oh heya human didn't see yo- ah-" it yelped as you grabbed its body with your fist, shaking it vigorously like a toy.
"What the hell? A toy?? Where are the batteries at?" You say as you turn it around looking for the battery compartment.
"What the- I am not a toy you brat!" It replies finally freeing itself from your grab. 
" 'Ahem' I am Keroberos!"
"Kero.. You mean Cerberus? Like The three headed hellhound?"
"DO NOT COMPARE ME TO THAT BEHEMOTH OF A CREATURE!!!!"
...
"I am Keroberos the guardian of the Clow cards and clow reeds dutiful right hand!" He boast's
"Clow cards...? Oh like the cards in this book..." You look down at the book you were once holding now on the floor open with the contents missing. Then your gaze wonders to the card you were holding ... Windy...
Wait.
How did that even happen???  Were these cards magic? The moment you read its name out loud it glowed...
"Wait- Are the cards in the book...Magic?"
"Bingo! Those cards are one the strongest artifacts created by  one of the strongest magicians In~The~World!" He looks down at the book of clow, noticing the empty center.
"So where are they?" 
"Where is...what..?"
"The cards!" He asks joyfully
"They flew out..." You say meekly. 
"They want now" :D
. . .
"WHAT!?"
"I am sorry okay I kept hearing this sound from the book and I opened it and took out the Windy card and then I read the name out loud by accident I swear and then the HUGE gust of wind came out and made all the cards fly through the walls some how I'm so so sorry!"
"YOU LOST THE CARDS!?" Now Keroberos was panicking, He lost clows cards! His other half is going to kill him!
And not to me tonight now he has a child who know about their existence! What on earth is he going to do?????????
"...technically its also your fault."
. . .
"Excuse me."
"You were the guardian of the cards, the said cards that are now missing. And you were asleep when it happened, so one would argue that it was due to your negligence that the cards were released by my poor 10 year old incapable hands...."
This little-
"You have one big mouth now, don't you?" That's it he's going to loose his shit.
"Whose mouth are you calling big" Seems like your about to aswell.
But unfortunately before a brawl could commence A ear bleeding roar reached both your ears. Looking out from the closest window you could find.
A giant bird flying through the city, trying to wriggle its way past buildings only to crash into them.
"That's a clow card!" Keroberos exclaims. He flies down to the book of clow and rummage through it. He throws a charm at you which you catch with ease.
He'll just have to choose you as a candidate.. Not like he'd ever actually choose you. Then Yue won't know this was all an accident! And then he won't get his ass beat! Genius!
"Whats this" Of course he still needs to remember your just a clueless child, Unknowing of all the magic you two's little fuck up just released.
He'll have to properly explain everything to you later...But for now...
"The sealing staff, The artifact clow made in case the cards get released one day." 
"Since your the one who released the cards your going to seal them."
"What seriously!? Why me? Im way too under qualified for this-"
"I'll explain the specifics later! Just summon the staff!"
♡♡♡
"Key which hides the powers of the dark,
Reveal your true form before me.
I, [Y/N] [L/N], command you under our contract.
Release!"
♡♡♡
The charm enlarges into a staff. It almost resembles a cane. You grab onto it unsure of how you even managed to activate it.
"Some how the words just popped into my head..."
"Yeahhhh it does that.... well then let move. Come one we have a bird to catch"
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That all leads us full circle. A 10 year old falling through the sky while a giant bird, the size of two air ship's tries to peck at them.
You're lucky there's an outbreak happening in the city below you other wise people would not be blind to the catastrophe happening in the sky.
"Kid! Snap out of it!!" Kero yells at you. Right you should probably focus on yourself right now.
"W-what do i do?" You manage to mutter out.
"Windy! Cast Windy!" The staff manifests under one hand as you reach for your pocket with your other.
"Windy!" You're throw the card and strike it with your staff. A magic circle appearing underneath you. The figure entrapped within the card floating out and assisting you. 
"Y/N!" Kero yells "Gosh I got it! I got it!" You fall onto the back of the bird and eventually stand up, raising the staff over your head. 
"Reclaim the guise you were meant to inhabit! Clow card!"
You strike with your staff, a card forming at the tip. A bright light envelops the birds body. The silhouette disfiguring and being absorbed into the card.
You grab the card before it flies away.
Fly
So that's what it's called. Fly.
"This isnt the time to be spacing out brat!" Oh yeah. Now that the birds gone you're not really standing on anything...
"CAST FLY CAST FLY CAST FLY CAST FLY CAST FLY CAST FLY CAST FLY-" 
"fly." Wings sprout from the tip of the staff. They start flapping as you sit on it, flying to safety. 
"Oh thank god-!" Kero exclaims.
You raise a brow. Why was he scared he could fly???
"Your surprisingly scared for someone who can fly"
"You're surprisingly calm for someone who was falling to their death! You could've died! Do you have no sense of survival!!!"
'Sigh' "No biggie now. Just fly back to your house, let's talk there..."
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You replaced the charm of one of your necklaces with the charm Keroberos gave you. Putting it on while The yellow shit stares at the unopened pudding on the desk with a monstrous intensity.
"Cant believe you believe you bought 12 packs of premium pudding...just like that..." Seriously he's so dramatic, you could've sworn you saw a tear right then.
"You even bought a mini fridge..." He turns to the [f/c] mini fridge placed next the desk, its polished surface shining for all to see.
"I did it ... I struck gold...I'm so glad I picked a rich girl to be the Clow card candidate..." He mutters as he hugged the pudding, the condensed water droplets on the packages making his cheeks wet.
"Enough of that" You drag away the pudding opening it up for him and handing him a little plastic spoon that almost as tall as him. Almost.
"Alrighty then! Long ago, In a distant land-"
"Keroberos!"
"Fine fine. The clow cards are magical artifact created by clow reed, My master. I am the guardian of the seal and Therefore I am the one who chooses the candidates who get to be the new master of the clow cards!" He chuggs a spoonful of pudding. So fast you can actually see the lump going down to his stomach.
"And dear Y/n I choose you as a candidate. You don't have much of a choice considering that this all started cause of you....and also me."
"Lucky me...." You sigh. Of all 8 billion people on this world, you were the one person chosen to be in this shoujo manga.
Your shoulders slump as you hide your face in your hands.
The reality of everything finally dawning on you. What if someone saw you? Sure with the chaos going on below people were probably too busy to realize what was happening above them.
Still anyone could've seen it, Anyone could've seen you. to be fair the bird was pretty ■■■■-ing loud but If someone didn't see you or even a person. They can still figure out it you with I don't know video footage from the camera's-
Calm down Y/n if your really going to catch these cards then... your going to have to more careful than this.
"Cheer up chump! Atleast you have me now! And um I don't really know how the book ended up in your family's library but if there cam looking for me....?" Kero asked, plopped down next to the now empty pudding container.
"Don't worry the last place they'll check is if it's with me." You replied, Not looking up for your hands
"Hahaha Great...Great..." Keroberos replied, unable to keep the cheery atmosphere. 
Forgetting all the assumption he made about you in the library. You really are a sweet girl.
 But what bothered him was how no one questioned you were gone.
While trying to catch fly. He saw all the chaos happening on the ground, So after buying his pudding he made a million excuses for you to use once you got home, but no one was concerned.
He knows they saw you. He saw saw them see you. He saw them. But no one batted an eye. 
From your explanation. He understands this happens often in Gotham but....
He doesn't get why the looked at you like you were part of the wall
"Hey kiddo, While on the topic about your family..." He nervously ask's unsure of how to approach the subject.
"What is it.."
"Are you like..not close with them? Well I mean in a dangerous city as this one. I thought someone would be concerned that a kid as young as you were out all by your self..."
"Its a long story..." You try to brush off the subject.
( °꒳° ) 
"I have time" He smiles flying closer to you.
"And I don't. I have school tomorrow and I really need sleep." You get up from your chair. Keroberos following you. Begging you even as you get comfortable in your bed. 
"Oh come on. Y/n... Y/n!!!! Please. Please. Please. Tell me your family lore PLEASE"
 He plops on your stomach. No he will not falter. He may need sleep but he will stay up all night begging if he has to! 
You did eventually tell him everything that happened.
Considering that stayed up all night asking you to tell him. 
You had no choice! 
Needless to say your family now has beef with a century old sentient magical creature who takes the form of a plushie. 
And funny thing is they don't even know about it.
"I swear to you, when I catch those demon brats hands I'm gonna" Keroberos puffs out his cheek, throwing punches at the air
"Your not gonna do a thing..." You mumble sleepily
'scoff'  "Don't worry Y/n. You don't need them. I'll be your dad. 
I'll be the dad that stepped up." He says face full of determination.
You smile. Maybe this whole Card-captor thing is worth a try 
"Whatever. Good night Kero"
And with that you close your eye's
...
Kero pauses but the smiles at the nickname.
He curls up near you on the bed.
Maybe you weren't a bad choice.
"Goodnight. N/n."
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The next day went as usual. Wake up, Scream that your late, stomp on Damian's foot. Rushing out in your roller-skates and reach school. Only this time there was a yellow plushie poking it's head out of your school bag, yapping the day off...
For something so tiny he sure does have a lot to say. 
You reach the school gates, and slide inside. Taking off your skates and placing them in your locker.
"Listen, you shouldn't talk now okay? If a teacher see's you they'll confiscate you. And if a kid sees you they'll probably 
steal you away."
"Considering how annoying you are, I could only hope someone steal me away"
"Not everyone has the resources to get you premium pudding"
You make your way to your home room class just mer seconds before your teacher comes in. 
Not late. Great....
"Y/N" tomoyo walks up to your desk camera in hand.
"Tomoyo! Hi~" You smile.
"Did you see happened last night?" She places her camera on the desk, the screen facing you.
"The outbreak? Yeah I kinda saw a few explosion's, nothing out of the ordinary though..." 
"I'm not talking about that, That happens everyday. Did you see the gaint bird in the sky yesterday?"
"G-gaint bird!? Wha- Hahahahhaha must've been too far away for me to see it." You laugh nervously. It's fine compared to a giant bird you were miniscule, no-one probably saw you struggling against that thing.
"Really?" Tomoyo ask's.... Almost... questioningly? Like she already knew everything that happened.
There's no way! Tomoyo wouldn't have seen you, I mean she probably saw the bird sure but even if she did see a person there no way she would have known it was you-
She turns on a camera. Moving through a bunch of videos before landing on one and playing it. She places it in front of you again.
The video shows... a moon?
"W-wow I didn't know it was a full moon yesterday hahaha" god you need to stop laughing it's only making you look more suspicious. She zooms into the moon, and you could see a tiny silhouette flying on what looks like a broom? But that could be anyone!
She zooms in again, and there it is. Your face. Clear as day.
Tomoyo smiles. Patiently waiting for an answer as your nervous laughter dies down. 
You've been caught
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celestialprincesse · 1 year ago
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💕🩰
I'm sorry but I just know that Price has a breeding kink🥴
mdni 🎀 nsfw below the cut
Price has always, despite his situation, considered himself a family man, and with not only the added financial benefits of being boosted up to the SAS, but also the flexibility of being a captain, there's a yearning for something to come home to. So, when he finally marries someone that makes coming home more anticipatory than leaving in the first place, he can't help but finally feel fulfilled. Almost.
There's something missing though. Something that he can't help but yearn for. He's seen the way his fellow soldiers look at their partners with babies slung on their hips or bellies swollen with pregnancy, and he can't help but feel so selfishly jealous. He knows he shouldn't, knows that he should feel grateful for all of the goodness that she's bought into his life, that he's got the privilege of coming home alive, let alone alive, and to a beautiful woman willing to sink down on her knees for him and worship his cock like he's more god than mere man. Despite this, he wants more, and always finds himself feeling like Icarus inching that much closer to the sun with every good thing he gets.
"I want a baby." He growls into your ear whilst his cock is buried to the hilt inside your slick cunt, fingers interlocked and his baby blues burning vehemently into your own. He's long stilled his thrusts to capture your attention, and by the way your tits bob slightly with the movement of a deep inhale pulled in and held, followed by a little ragged puff of air back into his face, he can tell that you're listening. "You want a baby?" The waver in your voice doesn't go unnoticed by either of you, the almost imperceptible squeeze of your fingers around Johns igniting a spark of hope in his long thawed heart. "I want a baby. With you."
"Now?"
"Now."
"What about your work?"
"I've already sorted it."
John sees the way your brain short circuits at not only his words, but also the encouragingly slow snap of his hips as he thrusts up against your cervix, the hair of his chest brushing against your already sensitive nipples as he keeps at his languorous pace, waiting for you to give him an answer before he stuffs you full of his cum and doesn't let you get up through fear of potentially wasting even a drop of his seed.
"Please, darling. Fuck." He grunts as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, eyes glossed over as you zone out, imagining a future with you and the man you love, and your children - child, even - maybe a dog for good measure. "You're sure you're ready?" You whisper, feeling the distinct prickling of tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. "S' all I want."
"Okay."
And with that, John's warm hand settles at the back of your neck, fingers curling into the roots of your hair whilst his free arm supports his position over you. Every time the weeping tip of his cock slams up into the plug of your womb and leaves your eyes rolling shut, he yanks gently on your hair, just enough to jerk your head back to look at his almost animal expression, growling about how he wants to look his wife in the eye when he fucks her full of his kids. He's entirely merciless as he spears you open on his cock, hitting the spot that makes your walls flutter desperately around him with every thrust, huffing in your ear when you drag your nails down his back at the mention of how fucking sexy you'll look all soft and swollen with his baby. You both know he won't be stopping at one.
You cum almost shamefully around his cock when he grabs a handful of the plush flesh of your boobs, dropping kisses down the column of your neck until his nose rests against your collarbone, keening out from both the physical and mental overstimulation. John rides you through it, leaving his tip brushing against your cervix as he finishes himself, before rolling you over with his cock still plugged inside, not wasting any of his cum as you lay there panting on his chest whilst his lips press to the top of your head before whispering in your ear:
"So I was thinking green for the nursery?"
ʚ・ ୨୧・ ɞ
quick lil something because I literally have no ideas of what to write oops 🤭
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glitch-karma · 2 years ago
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hai i want to req a scenario where bsd characters has a crush on the reader and tries dropping hints but the reader just thinks that they’re being nice :D
characters: yosano, nikolai, akutagawa, ranpo, jouno
I added Chuuya cause I am self-indulgent, but enjoy!
Tw: Very light talk of characters being very touchy, but still sfw
Yosano
she's so obvious
Constantly complimenting you
Saying how pretty/handsome you are
Maybe a little touchy iykyk
She honestly wants to confess and have a serious relationship with you
and she's been trying to drop hints but..
"Oh Y/n~, you're so cute I could eat you up.."
"Huh? You can't eat people Yosano! Do you need something to snack on?"
"ugh. No, thank you, dear..."
Finally, she'll confess to you after patching you up after a small mission.
"Y/n.. I uhm, really like you."
"Awe, I like you too Yosano! You're my best friend"
She falls on the floor momentarily before just jumping up, grabbing you by the collar, and kissing you.
"O-Oh!" "Yeah. Oh."
"So? Do you.. Like me too?"
"W-Well. If it means we could do that agai- MPHM!"
Nikolai
Another obvious one
Now he's the real feeler upper
He will not let you GO MAN
Definitely a grabber too
I have this vision of him full-on grabbing your ass and you're just like "Oh? What's up, Nikolai?"
Surprise hugs from behind
He lets you braid his hair
Unlike Yosano, he will not be as patient
He'll grab your hands, get down on one knee, and scream:
"Y/n~! I love you! Please go out with me so we can be free together!"
You are not expecting this at all
So you shakily nod
Then he'll pick you up bridal style and run around with you in his arms <3
Akutagawa
Now with him
I wouldn't fucking notice either bro
His idea of hints is odd
"You don't suck at fighting.."
"Uhm... Thank you?"
He's read that some people give food to their crushes, so he'll randomly just set a cup of tea down on your desk
Since it's a food he likes, he'll also just leave figs on your desk???
It's, very confusing to say the least
In this case, I don't see him ever actually confessing
it was actually Chuuya that found out and pushed him along
Aka, he dragged you both into the same room and pushed Akutagawa along
but it all worked out in the end
Ranpo
Oh my God you gotta be real dence
CLIMBS ON YOU?
LIKE FULL ON SCALES YOUR BODY AND SITS ON YOUR SHOULDERS
And when you get tired and ask him to get off he's just like "Nah I'm good."
Shares his snacks with you
You brought him sweet mochi one day and that was the day he vowed to marry you
You thought he was joking?
Likes pitching your cheeks
"You're so squishy and cute Y/n~ Just like a dumpling" "Ranpo that hurts-"
The way he confesses I hear you ask?
One morning he just, out of nowhere kisses your cheek.
You FLIPPED out and he was just confused
"oh, are we not dating?" "WHAT? NO?!"
He didn't realize you were too busy to notice his feelings
Jouno
Side note: God we need more Jouno hc's fr tho
Jouno's way of showing he loves you?
Training you to the mfing bone.
Bro does not let up
If you're a hunting dog it's even worse
Y'know that scene where he stands on tecchou's back?
He does that all the time
Sometimes hits your head too
But, if he sees you're genuinely struggling he eases up
Honestly, he shows hints in very small ways that you wouldn't notice
Like a small pat on the back or bringing you water after a long day
All the other hunting dogs can see the way he listens extra intently when you talk as well
Another thing, he remembers almost every conversation you two have even had.
So he knows all your interests, likes, and hobbies
He would probably just casually do a normal confession, bring you a rose and a gift <3
Chuuya
Chuuya is terrified of letting people get too close to him (Kinnie moment-)
So for a while he wouldn't make any attempts at a relationship with you at all
But after you've stuck around him for years, even when others didn't, how could he not be smitten for you?
After a while of denying, he'll finally drop hints
He'll offer to drive you too and from work (mostly for the excuse to have your arms around him)
He also started bringing you lunches on Monday's
Has bought you jewelery and chokers galore
The expensive ones too cause he rich rich
He will drunkenly confess
"Damn.. Why do you have to go and make me fall in love with you?"
"..What?"
He has never sobered up so fast
He tried to stand up and leave, but you grabbed him and hugged him tight
After a few seconds, he did the same
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hotchstead · 10 months ago
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Hiii!! Can I request chasexreader where reader is super sick and he takes care of her and is very attentive (maybe a tad bit annoying) but also very fluffy? Thank you!!💗
Overbearing - R. C.
Robert Chase x fem!reader warnings: sick reader, overbearing boyfriend chase, that's it really? word count: NDA (half wrote here) a/n: sorry it's short but I'm just starting to get back into writing these things <3
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Being sick wasn’t ideal. It never will be. The second a doctor hands you that note and you’re out for the week it seems like a  blessing. A chance to relax. But no. not when your boyfriend was also a doctor and made it his god given goal in life to make sure you didn’t stress yourself out. At all.
Chase was that boyfriend. The second he realized the small cough wasn’t going away, he did the tests that concluded bronchitis. He set up the medicine to be put aside for you. The steroids and cough medicine that would work together to heal you.
He made you breakfast, lunch and dinner because “As much as you feel like crap, you have to keep eating.” The words he said every single time you tried to brush off eating. And so you suffered through at least half of a meal before he was satisfied with your portion.
Yes, it was partially endearing. He cared, he loved you. That much was true. You’d been together going on three years now, of course he was going to care. But still, it was becoming a bit much.
The man wouldn’t even let you out of bed if he thought it was going to end badly for you. “Baby, I promise you, I will survive sitting out of bed.” You pleaded, sucking on a cherry flavored cough drop that didn’t do much for your mouth other than make your teeth feel funny and maybe slightly keep your cough away.
Barely.
Chase shook his head, sitting on the edge of said bed, reaching over and stroking your hair. “I believe that, but laying down and relaxing, resting is the best thing for you. It doesn’t bother your throat and the lozenges can only do so much to help.”
You groaned, nodding, “I’m aware, but i just want to sit on the couch. Drink tea even. I’m just tired of sitting here." You pouted and how was he supposed to keep denying you anything when you looked at him the way you did?
"Okay, alright, just stop killing me with your stupid puppy dog eyes." He huffed in defeat as he stood. "I'll find some tea for you if you want to fresh up a little, I know you've been wanting to do that."
He was right. Your face was starting to get the level of greasy that it was killing you to even feel it and your hair hadn't been touched since day one. How he even wanted to be near you right now was insane to you.
But the second he disappeared, you pulled yourself up and out of bed, to the bathroom to wash your face, brush through your hair and make note to wash it before the two of you went to bed tonight.
You crunched the last little bit of the cough drop in your mouth, the feeling of your tongue making you pull your toothbrush out. It was time for a new one anyway so who cares if this one got contaminated?
Once all set, cough and all, you headed back out to the living room, happy to be able to sit and watch something on the big screen rather than the smaller one that you had in your room. (Chase refused to upgrade.)
"Gorgeous." Chase commented as you sat, water boiling just to the right in the kitchen.
Even at your worst he managed to want to compliment you and it made you shake your head. "I look like crap," A cough cut off your statement, "You don't have to lie.
He scoffed as he shook his head, "I'm not. You're always so completely beautiful."
"Bronchitis and all?" You asked skeptically.
"Bronchitis and all." He echoed with a nod, "Now get comfortable, I picked Lady and the Tramp cause I know it's one of your favorites." The words coming out so smoothly, so easily.
No matter how much time you spent together it still surprised you how well he just, knew you. And you adored it. So you settled down, him taking the spot next to you not too long after and putting an arm over your shoulder.
You went to brush it off, worried that he'd get sick in return but he shook his head. "You're not contagious. I'll be alright. Just let me hold you." He said softly, sweetly even.
And that alone let you know that no matter how much his doctoring annoyed you, you loved him and the day you married him would be the best day of your life.
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JOIN CHASE'S TAGLIST HERE!
TAGS: @morketheduck @nerdypyrowolf @simonejacpbsen @thewayilovedjay @julianna050 @Idontknowwhatnamelol @alexxavicry
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gracefulsunflower · 10 months ago
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ANGEL - SETH CLEARWATER X READER
PREVOUS Prologue
I
THIRD PERSON'S POV
Seth sat with the pack and the imprints after telling them about you — The little he knew anyways. He was still hung up on the fact that you would only be here for two months.
"Why don't you, I don't know, show up in the same places she is?" Embry suggested, throwing a baseball to Quil as they sat down, albeit carefully — Sam would kill them if they broke something.
Emily wouldn’t mind, but since she bought half of the stuff in the house Sam would break their fingers if they scratched even one thing.
"He's not a mind reader, Embry, God," Leah snarked, throwing an arm around her not so little brother's shoulders, pulling him slightly closer to her.
She smelled like home, so he nestled in a little closer, needing the comfort.
"But the little Cullen is, maybe Jake can ask them for some help," Embry shot back, and Seth looked elated, but then his face dropped.
"But I don't want her to think I'm a stalker or anything," Seth murmured defeatedly, and it was back to the drawing board.
The room went silent, Seth dragging the slightly good mood down with him.
"Adopt a dog," Quil suggested, and everyone looked at him.
"You said she has a dog — If you get one then you can take it for walks when she takes hers for walks. That's not that stalkerish. You have an excuse to be in the same place at the same time," Quil elaborated as he fumbled an extra hard throw from Embry, and Seth grinned so bright that it made everyone else crack a small smile.
"Quil, you're a genius! Now all I need to do is find a dog." Seth replied, his mind running wild as he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, wondering who to message.
Adopting dogs from the local shelter was really expensive, and he was saving for a new dirt bike. He only had $200 to go, and he really didn’t want to waste money on a new dog. Not when he could nearly taste the dirt bike.
"Rez dogs are having puppies all of the time man, but if you're that keen Miss Postoak is trying to get rid of her bitch since she can't afford her right now, she’s only a companion dog and the others are working dogs," Jared supplied before taking another bite of his blueberry muffin, courtesy of Emily, and Seth felt victorious as he clicked onto his Mom’s contact and called her, asking if he could get a dog for his birthday.
"You're picking up its’ crap, buying its’ dog food and leashes, and it is getting neutered, we have enough strays on the reservation as is, young man — and I'll help you set up the yard for it when you get it," She replied, then said 'love you' and hung up the phone.
Seth whooped, then calmed back down, looking around the room at his expectant friends.
"What the fuck do I need for a dog?"
Leah pinched her brother’s ear for his foul language, making everyone laugh.
•••
Thankfully, Old Quil owned many a dog in his lifetime, used for hunting, mainly, but most of them were now companions in their old age, the man hesitant to get another in case it outlived him. Young Quil helped Seth buy the needed supplies like leashes, a crate for inside, dishes for the food, a dog bed, and a vet appointment was set for Monday so the bitch that Seth adopted — named Missy, a Rottweiler Shar Pei cross (Rott Pei, Quil had helpfully given him the proper name for the breed of the mutt) could be checked up, seeing as she was due for one.
Seth and Quil now at the store, buying some dog food. The smell was still overwhelming, and mixed in with how all of the other store goers smelled it was nearly unbearable. He could even still smell the products they mopped the floors with. He put the last thing in the cart when he heard a familiar voice. You.
"Quil, shit man, that's her!" Seth whispered excitedly, then listened as you made your way through the aisles, talking about dog food for Cujo.
Quil watched his younger pack mate bounce on his heels as you approached, and tried not to laugh at how excited Seth was getting. The boy turned to face you as soon as you turned the corner, dragging your dad by his hand, a basket in your other hand.
"Oh! It's little Seth!" Alexander pointed out, making you look away from the tins of dog food on the shelf, and give him a friendly grin, dropping your dad’s hand in the process.
"Hello, hello," You greeted, and nodded towards his full trolley, "Stocking up for a vacation?"
Seth turned back at the groups of haphazardly stacked dry kibble bags and wet food cans, and numerous treat packets. Maybe he was going a tiny bit overboard.
"Uh, no," Seth admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with a chuckle, "I'm getting my first dog and I think I got overexcited."
"Oh! Such a spoiled little puppy that will be! Maybe you and miss (Y/N) could take your dogs for walks sometimes! I think she gets sick of her old man slowing her down," Alexander offered, and nudged (Y/N)'s shoulder, "If you need help with the dog too, (Y/N) could teach you a few tricks. Should help her keep herself busy for the next two months."
Seth tried not to smile too hard as he agreed, but noticed that you looked less than pleased, but give him a tight lipped smile nonetheless.
"Dad, grab two dry bags of dog food," You commanded, and your father did your bidding as you somewhat aggressively threw some dog food cans into a basket, managing to dent one of them.
Your father suddenly looked less than pleased with your behaviour as you threw the last can and turned on your heel, shoulder checking him as you walked past him. Alexander looked back at the pair of boys and gave them a tight lipped smile and a small wave before leaving behind his daughter.
Seth cocked his head to the side, trying to drown out the rest of the store goers to listen to you. Quil immediately did the same.
“What in the Gods was that? Ridiculous behaviour for what?” Your father said gruffly, but not unkindly.
"Dadda, I don't want to go for walks with him!" Was the first thing Seth heard you say, which made his heart drop, but he kept on listening anyway.
"Nonsense, he seems nice! A friend wouldn't hurt," Your father tried to reason with you, but you huffed.
"If a friend wouldn't hurt we'd actually live in one place and not move around like nomads." You then let out a soft 'fuck!', most likely stubbing your toe on the stupid boxes near the mouth of aisle 2.
"Well, I'm sure this place is the place. Trust me, tiny child. If it isn't, I'll buy you your dream Dodge Challenger for a late birthday gift." Your father reasoned.
"Don't bullshit me," You snapped back, sounding like you were nearer to the doors.
"I'm not! Matte black Dodge Challenger with red under glow for your birthday, or we live here, I swear it on Cujo's life." Your father pleaded, and you sighed.
"Fine. I'll see if one of the workers knows how to get into contact with him. I'll try to find him on MySpace or Twitter or something." You relented, then the doors opened to the front of the store, and your scent was gone.
Your Father cheered and Quil put Seth into a headlock playfully, messing up his hair, making Seth laugh as he did so.
•••
You sat on your new bed, your dog Cujo, a black Cane Corso who was getting on in his years, shown by the grey fur on his muzzle, resting on the floor next to your bed, not being allowed on any furniture. Your father was doing research in his room.
You picked up a piece of mango and popped it into your mouth as you looked up the name of the place you were staying at on Facebook. You found the profile, and clicked into it, then went straight to followers. You couldn't find any followers with Seth's profile picture, so you went and looked up the name of the school, finding their profile and looking through the followings for Seth. No luck. Even searching his name up you discovered nothing. You stalked his school until you found his name on an old post where he had won an award for a spelling bee, also discovering his last name. Clearwater. Seth Clearwater.
You logged into your MySpace account, and looked for him, and surprisingly found him. His profile picture was a photo of him with a man, standing side by side, grinning.
You found it, and let held your arms up above your head in a victorious manner, looking around the room as if expecting someone to cheer for you, then focussing on your dog.
"See how fucking amazing I am, Cujo? The FBI needs to hire me as a detective," You said, then started scrolling through his profile.
Nothing overly fancy. Just some pictures of him, people you assumed to be his family, and some of nature around the area, alongside some photos of his adventures. You clicked the 'Add Friend' button, and decided to make a new friendship bracelet while you watched movies, heading off to your dad's room to go and ask him to start the bracelet for you.
•••
Seth was currently scrolling through Twitter at his desk as his Xbox 360 started up, Leah lounging on his bed playing Mario on his DS. Technically, he and Leah shared the Xbox, but he just kept it in his room as she didn’t really play it much these days, instead choosing to play his DS. He didn’t mind. Just as long as she stayed in his room so he knew it was safe. Missy was laying halfway under his bed, gnawing at a new chew toy Quil had picked out.
His phone beeped, and a new notification popped up. He walked over and slid onto the bed next to his sister. A new friend request. He looked, and his heart started speeding up as he looked at the profile.
“What?” Leah inquired, hearing the thrumming, looking over his shoulder.
“She added me on MySpace!” Seth told his sister excitedly, showing her the profile picture of you and a black dog, along with your Dad and a woman who looked a bit like you, and accepted your friend request, then started looking through your profile.
There were photos from all around the world. Australia, Sweden, Italy, France. Your father and you were the main focus of your photos, but your nature shots were a sight to behold. There were also some with people that weren’t your father, so maybe friends and relatives. The photos of the woman in your profile picture stopped around a year ago, he noted. Your newest photo was the Welcome to Forks sign, you and a huge black dog posing in front of it, the same one from your profile picture.
A message notification popped up. He opened it, and there was a message from you.
Y/N:
Hey
“Oh my goodness, she messaged me!” Seth nearly squealed, and Leah bit back a laugh at her little brother, knowing that laughing would probably result in him attacking her with a pillow covered in a Spider-Man case.
“Well don’t just ignore it, reply!” Leah urged, and Seth looked at his sister, eyes as wide as saucers.
“What do I say!” Seth panicked, and Leah rolled her eyes, grabbing the iPhone covered in a Spider-Man case and messaging her back.
Seth:
Hey
•••
You blinked at your laptop screen, your friendship bracelet forgotten. You didn’t expect him to reply so fast. You went down to the vending machine just outside of the office about ten minutes ago and he wasn’t there, instead there was a girl at the counter, talking on the phone as she painted her nails. Maybe his shift was over, and he was at home? You didn’t think on it much.
Your fingertips ghosted over the keys, then stopped, instead picking up your phone and logging into MySpace there.
“Dad?” You called out, and he ambled into your room, a sandwich with a bite taken out of it, jerking his head upwards slightly as he chewed.
“Seth messaged me and I don’t know how to reply,” You admitted, and your father chuckled as he came over and sat next to you, trying not to get any crumbs on the bed.
Cujo immediately came over and sat expectantly next to him on the floor, but your father shooed him away. Your baby walked over and laid in his crate, looking offended.
“What do you want to say?” He asked, pulling your phone into his hand, getting ready to type a message for you.
You leaned against his muscly arm, and shrugged. You weren’t very good at holding conversations.
“Why don’t you ask him about his new dog?” Your father suggested and you grinned victoriously, taking back the phone and sending him a message.
Y/N:
How’s things going with preparing for ur dog?
You hummed, feeling content, then sent the message. Seth started typing immediately.
Seth:
She’s good! We picked her up like an hour ago and she’s currently harassing my sister, lol
A photo came through of a dog that looked like a Rottweiler, but was wrinkly, and the tail curved upwards, sitting on the lap of a girl that looked a couple years older than you, playing a DS.
“Oh! Looks like a little Rott Pei! They’re stubborn little fucks,” Your father commented, still eating his sandwich, making you giggle.
Your aunty Lara had one, over in Italy. He tended to chew any shoes left outside, and didn’t like Cujo much.
Seth:
Her name is Missy :)
Y/N:
She’s so cute! Is she a Rott Pei? Dad says they’re stubborn lol
Seth:
Yeah, she is. I’m gonna try and take her for a walk tomorrow. She’s really good on lead, and well socialised. My sister Leah’s coming too, wanna come with?
Before you could type ‘no’, your father snatched your phone and sent a message.
Y/N:
That sounds good, when & where?
“Dad!” You hissed, picking up your stuffed Elmo doll from beside you and assaulting your father with it, making him drop his sandwich.
Cujo wasted no time in scrabbling over and eating it, making you laugh, but you quickly stopped as your phone beeped again, leaning over and grabbing it from your dad’s hand.
Seth:
Tomorrow, like 11am?
We can take out a picnic!
Me and Leah can come pick you up :)
You quickly positioned yourself so you could see Cujo in the background, your dad deciding to hop into the photo as well, holding up both of his thumbs and giving the biggest smile you’d ever seen.
Y/N:
Cujo & I are keen, so’s Dad apparently. See you then!
•••
Leah pinched her little brother’s cheek as he put the phone down, tittering at the way he blushed, the colour in his cheeks and ears becoming more noticeable with the red undertone of his blood rushing to them.
“My baby, all grown up! Going on a date with a girl-”
“-It’s not a date, Leah,” Seth said exasperatedly as he grabbed his phone and messaged Jacob, wanting to let him know first.
Seth:
(Y/N) and I are walking our dogs together tomorrow.
Jacob:
Good job bro :)
You should see if she wants to come to your birthday party tomorrow
Seth blinked. Tomorrow was his birthday. He’d be fifteen, and in two months he’d be starting tenth grade.
Seth:
I forgot about that haha
Are you and Ness coming?
Jacob
Wouldn’t miss it for the world man
I picked out a cool gift but Ness said hers is ‘practical’, or whatever
You know how she is
Seth laughed and sent back a thumbs up emoji, then leaned over and scritched Missy behind her ears, making her wag her tail contentedly. Today was a good day. Tomorrow was going to be even better.
•••
Alexander stood out on the porch of the cabin, facing the sea as he puffed on his Marlboro, the cigarette being his only source of light other than the moon, full and low over the sea.
A movement in the distance, over near some rocks, only just visible in the corner of his eye. His head snapped in the direction of it, his blue eyes nearly glowing in the dark.
Something was staring right back at him, its eyes shining green like a cat’s in the dark. A stare off ensued. Alexander moved ever so slightly, reaching for his crossbow, but the creature then spread its’ wings and took flight, the huge wing span nearly blocking out the moon as it ascended.
Alexander growled and put out his cigarette, dropping it into the metal trash can near his feet. He found what he was looking for. Now it was time to complete the rest of his mission.
•••
Mary Postoak stared at the moon through her kitchen window, opting to watch it as the sink filled up in front of her.
There was a flash of darkness in front of the moon, looking like a huge bird. She gasped, a hand going to her chest. It was bigger than any bird she saw, ever. And the last time she checked; birds didn’t have legs like humans.
A thud was heard in her backyard, and her dogs started barking, making her head for her back door, but a yelp cut her off. She instead turned on her heel, running towards her bedroom and grabbed her rifle, then ran through the hallway, throwing open the back door and loading the rifle.
She grabbed the flashlight from her deck table, and turned it on, shining it toward the scene, and gasped.
Something was hunkered over her dog, feeding from it. Upon hearing her, it looked up, blood covering its lower lip. It was hideous. Pale skin, and two enormous wings. It stood up at its full height, nearly ten feet, and stepped forward, making her drop her torch and point her rifle at it.
She fired it once, hitting it square in the chest. It growled, then lunged for the woman, attacking her before she could even scream.
§§§
Fun fact lol, Missy & Cujo are based on dogs I've owned. Again, not proofread so please kindly point out any mistakes!
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justmeliana · 3 months ago
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Finally, I got see you again💐🧸💖
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pairing: ot7 x reader genre: (𐙚) fluff word count: 1.233k
note: they didn't see eachother in a long time (like 2 or 3 years) and surprises them backstage
────୨ৎ───────────────୨ৎ────────────────୨ৎ────
Heeseung ⋆˚࿔
Heeseung's eyes widen the moment he sees you standing backstage, holding a small bouquet of flowers and a plush deer. Time stutters. For a second he thinks he's hallucinating from post-performance exhaustion. "Y/n...?", he breaths out, voice cracking slightly. You smile, holding the gifts out to him. "Congrats, star. I missed you." His heart nearly gives out. He takes the gifts carefully, like they're made of glass. His fingers brush yours and he lingers - lingers, like he's afraid you'll disappear for too long again. Inside, Heeseung is spiraling. She's here. She came. He wants to tell you everything - how long he's loved you, how often he dreams of what it would be like to hold you for real, to stop pretending he's okay with "just friends". "You didn't have to do this," he says, cheeks burning. You shrug with a grin. "Of course I did. You're my Hee." And just like that, his heart is done for. Maybe, he thinks, maybe this is the sign I've been waiting for.
Jay ⋆˚࿔
Jay freeezes when he sees you, your silhoutte framed by the hallway light, holding a rose-gold bouquet and a eagle plushie. You're here. You've always been the one constant in his chaotic life, the calm after every storm. Or maybe also the second storm after the first. And now you're here, backstage, looking at him like he's more than just your old bsf Jay. "Surprise," you say softly, voice laced with that old, familiar warmth. Jay doesn't move. He can't - because if he does, he's scared the emotions welling in his chest will spill out in a way he can't control. God, she's beautiful. Always has been. Always will be. Why did my younger, dumbass self never told her? You hand him the plushie and he swallows hard and lets out a small chuckle. "Spoiling me just like always, huh?" "Don't get cocky, I'm still waiting for you to start spoiling me." If she knew, how much I'd love to.
Jake ⋆˚࿔
Jake practically runs the moment he spots you backstage, the plush dog and bright bouquet almost dropping from your hands with the force of his hug. She's here. Holding a dog plushie and flowers. For me. "Y/n!" he spouts, pulling you in like he's afraid you'll disappear again. You laugh into his shoulder, "I take it as 'you're happy to see me'?" He pulls back, eyes bright and a little wet. "Happy? I've been practically waiting for you to show up, wondering if you already forgot me." She chuckled. This woman is gonna be the death of me, even with this simple chuckle. Jake takes the toy and flowers with the gentleness of a man completly smitten. "You've always been my biggest fan," he says, voice thick. "And you've always been cocky," you reply without hesitation. "And my favorite person," you add mumbling. Jake swears the room tilts. If he wasn't performing minutes ago, he'd think he was dreaming. In this moment he knows - this is the moment everything changes.
Sunghoon ⋆˚࿔
Sunghoon freezes mid-step, blinking rapidly as you walk toward him. You're holding a bouquet of elegant white roses and a penguin plushie. His brain lags. "Y/n...?" You grin, eyes crinkling. "Hi, Hoon. Missed me?" He takes a deep shaky breath, heart racing. She's here. She is actually here. You hand him the gifts and for once, his usual cool facade melt away. "I thought you forgot me," he mumbles, avoiding your gaze. "I couldn't miss your big stage," you say softly. "You've worked so hard for it." Sunghoon swallows thickly. So many feelings swirl inside him - relief, disbelief, love. He clutches the plushie closer. "You always knew exactly what I needed." "And you always pretended I didn't," you tease. He smiles, his eyes still misty. God, I love her. I've always loved her. Whitout thinking, he says, "You should have come sooner." You tilt your head "Would you have done or said something different if I did?" He laughs - because you've always known him better than he knows himself. "Maybe," he says, stepping closer. "But I'll say it now, if you let me."
Sunoo ⋆˚࿔
Sunoo gasps audibly when he spots you. "Y/n?!" You beam, holding out a bright bouquet and a fox plushie. "I missed you," you say. "Thought I'd bring you some post-stage sparkle." He covers his mouth dramatically, tears immediatly forming. "You're going to make me cry, don't do this," he whines, but he's smiling so wide it hurts. Sunoo's thoughts are a chaotic swirl of 'she's here, she's here, she's here' and 'how can she still make my heart flutter like this?' He accepts the gifts like they're made of gold. "This is literally the cutest thing ever." You tilt your head. "You like it?" "Are you kidding? It's a fox. You know that's me, right?" You giggle. "Exactly." Sunoo clutches the plushie and flowers closer, then looks into your eyes with unguarded affection. She has no idea, I've been in love with her since I can think. "Thank you," he says sincerely. "For always knowing what I need. For being here." You lean in slightly. "I always will be." Sunoo's heart bursts. Maybe it's time she finds out how much she really means to me.
Jungwon ⋆˚࿔
Jungwon is mid-laugh with a staff member when his gaze lands on you. He stops instantly. "Y/n?" You walk up, smiling nervously, holding a soft bouquet and a plush cat. "Hey, leader-nim. Thought I'd surprise you." He stares, wide-eyed. "You... wow." He takes the gifts with trembling hands, completly overwhelmed. The plush cat is perfect. The flowers smell like nostalgia and you. She remembered. She really does know me. Oh, how I love her. "You okay?" you aks with soft, warm eyes. He nods slowly. "Yeah. Just... surprised. You look amazing." You blush, and his heart does somersaults. I've loved her forever. Why haven't I told her anything? "Btw, I'm proud of you." you whisper. Those words hit hard. Jungwon swallows his emotions and manages a smile. "I missed you", he says looking at her with eyes full of depth. "Well, then you better hold on tight and don't let go", you say stepping closer with a smile. He chuckles and in that moment, he knows - it's not just the same childhood friendship. Well, that's what he hopes.
Ni-ki ⋆˚࿔
Ni-ki blinks rapidly, processing your presence like it's some kind of glitch in reality. You're standing backstage, grinning, holding a bouquet and a little duck plushie. She's gotta be kidding me. "Y/n?" he says, voice cracking. "Is that really you?" You nod, stepping forward. "I kept my promise, remember? I said I'd be there to support you, big-duck." Ni-ki can't stop staring. You've grown, but you're still you - the only one who ever saw the quiet side of him, the one he's been lowkey in love since he was too young to even know what that meant. She came all this way for me. For me. "I missed you.", he mumbles. "More than you know." "I know," you whisper back. "Me too." He looks at you, words and feelings bubbling in his chest. "You could've at least gotten a puma instead of a duckling." he says and ruffles your hair. "Nope, you'll always be my duck-boy." you say with a grin. That's it. He's officially gone. She's definetly going to be the death of me - a death I'd enjoy.
this is my first actual "story" so I'm open and very thankful for any feedback
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sports-on-sundays · 1 year ago
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omgg i'm so relievedd,😭😭 anyway here's the request
can you please do an enemies to lovers with pedri wherein the reader is frenkie's sister and pedri and her have beef with eachother and fight like cats and dogs all the time but pedri is lowkey in love with her and sneakily keeps dropping hints but the reader is too oblivious to notice them, then gavi, sick of their banter tries to get them together by pretending to be interested in the reader and pedri get's furious with gavi cuz he's in love with the reader?
anyway i hope you're doing well, sending you lot's and lot's of lovee 💗💗
she's mine / Pedri González
Summary: Pedri x de Jong!female!reader - Enemies to lovers - Pedri can't help but feel more than hate towards his enemy. And he won't stand for it when it seems her attention is being given to anyone else but himself.
Warnings: censored swearing, reader is SO oblivious haha, I'M SO SORRY FOR THE CHEESY ENDING BUT IT FELT SO RIGHT OKAY, her being Frenkie's sister didn't end up becoming a part of the plot so sorry if you wanted it to be anon
Author's Note: Thanks so much for the request, and I hope you're doing well also. :)
Requested?: yup!
A gust of warm wind blows your hair in your face as you enter the Barcelona training pitch. You tuck it behind your ear as your eyes scan the green field, searching for someone.
You tell yourself you're looking for your brother, Frenkie, but your eyes only stop searching when they fall on Pedri. He's sitting on one of the coolers, talking with Robert Lewandowski and Sergi Roberto. You smirk and saunter over, slipping down to sit on the cooler next to him. "Hey. Why aren't you out there playing, Pedri?" you say with a condescending smile.
His head snaps over to look at you, and his jaw visibly clenches as he demands, "Where did you come from? You weren't there a second a-"
"Maybe you just weren't paying attention, idiot. I didn't know you were that unaware of your surroundings..."
"Would you stop?" he snarls, gently shoving you. "Why are you always here, anyway? Do you think you have rights to walk right on in just because you're Frenkie's sister?"
You shrug cockily. "Pretty much. Everyone loves me, including Xavi. You're the only idiot that doesn't."
At this, Sergi (mysteriously) gets up and says, "I'll leave you two to fight this one out."
Robert nods and follows close behind, calling over his shoulder, "Don't be too aggressive with each other now!" You hear a snicker in the more experienced player's voice, which only fuels you more to bug Pedri.
"You aren't being too aggressive," you turn back to Pedri. "What kind of weak shove was that, anyway?"
"I just didn't shove you any harder because you're delicate and weak." He glanced up, meeting your eyes as he added, "Shame you've got no boyfriend to take care of your damsel self."
"Oh, for f***'s sake! Shut up- you know you're pulling crap out of thin air now!"
"That's what you do every single argument we have," Pedri comments with an eye roll. He bends down to tie his shoe, but then looks up, meeting your eyes again in that annoying way, and says, "Wait, you have a boyfriend?!"
"Don't say it like that!" you snap. "I don't, but I don't need one. I'm just fine without a stupid man to boss me around!"
He snorts and comments softly as he stands up, "I wouldn't say I'm stupid, and I certainly wouldn't boss you around..."
"Huph! Yeah, right!" you snap, the intention of his statements blowing straight over your head. "I bet you'd be the worst of them all! My God, no woman deserves an ass like you! Sure hope you never get a girlfriend- any would be too good for you."
"So sharp with your comebacks!" Pedri looks back. "But you use the same ones every time. You're so predictab-"
"Hey, Pedri."
Both of you look up to see Gavi sauntering over to the two of you. He pulls a water bottle from the cooler Pedri just stood up from and tells him, "Quit all the chit-chatting, for God's sake. Break time is done for you, Pedri."
"Yeah!" you grin, calling after him as he sulks away, "Lazy!"
Some days later, you walk down the hallway of the training centre. You're waiting for Frenkie, since you're going with him to visit with him and Mikky and some friends after training, when suddenly your nerves are hit simply by a familiar voice calling behind you, "Hey, Y/n..."
You swivel around to meet the obnoxious brown eyes of none other than Pedri. Your jaw clenches, but you're always ready to pick a fight with him- especially if he's up for it.
There's a flash of emotion in his eyes, and all the sudden he goes from walking toward you to being right in front of you. Your back hits the wall it's facing, and you gasp as the scent of his cologne fills your nose. You open your eyes slowly to see only Pedri's eyes. You exhale slowly. He's got you here, with his hands leaning on the wall behind you. You can't read him- you can't tell if he's about to slap you in the face or playfully tease you. All you know is that your nose is about six centimeters from the face of your rival, whom you've hated on a countless number of times.
"What the hell?" you snap. "What's your problem?"
"You know what you did!" he snaps right back, his eyes flashing again.
"What did I do?" you ask innocently as you replay all the rude comments about him and obnoxious tricks played on him.
"You know!" he says, jabbing his elbow into your shoulder- not enough to hurt, so you don't bother with him. He's a coward. He never really hurts you.
You smirk, eyebrows raised, and say, "Was it the chewing gum in your football boot or the 'Kick Me' sign on you last away game?"
"It was the gum-! Wait, 'Kick Me' sign?!"
At this, you break into hysterical laughing at his frightened face. You laugh and laugh, until you finally get out, "You take yourself so seriously, and that's why I know stupid pranks like this really will work in getting under your skin!"
"Tell about the 'Kick Me' sign!" He actually looks quite nervous.
"I managed to give you a 'friendly' pat on the back before you walked the red carpet to the hotel. All the away fans saw. I guess after getting a high-five from their hero, Pedri, they saw he would've rather been kicked in the ass!"
"Wait, it was on my ass?" His eyes widen, and you laugh more, practically wheezing now as Mr. Tough Man is getting dethroned- again. By you, as always.
"No! Lower back, idiot. I guess someone must have taken if off of you before you noticed, and didn't tell you because your pride is so delicate..."
"...Is not!" Pedri snapped, shoving you softly again. "Anyway, the f***ing gum on my expens-"
But you interrupt, showing you really couldn't care less. "Why don't you shove me harder, huh? Weak."
His face twists. "If I did, you might fall over. Clumsy."
"Oh, yeah? Am I? Am I clumsy, or are you just too scared to hurt a woman? Well, I'm not too scared to hurt a man, and I'm also not slamming men into walls to assert my dominance!"
Pedri gapes a little, which feeds your mean-spirited ways.
You grin, and suddenly shove him away. He stumbles back, and reaches back to steady himself on the opposite wall of the hallway.
"Alright, I've f***ing had it with you!" he barks, reaching for you. But you grab his wrist, twisting it. He, with his other hand, clutches the collar of your shirt, and you raise your fist, about to hurl it at his-
Suddenly, another hand grips your wrist, mid air.
Both your's and Pedri's heads flip to the new presence and rest your eyes on the younger Gavi.
Pedri's hand slips off your collar in unison with your hand slipping off his wrist.
Gavi sighs and walks past, in the middle of the two of you, calling behind, "You two, always fighting like cats and dogs! Won't you ever leave each other be? It's starting to get out of hand, with you two wrestling in the halls, and all."
You watch awkwardly as Gavi walks away, both feeling called out at how foolish you were acting.
You sit next to Gavi, swiveling back and forth on a bar stool, in a club. You sip your drink, looking down, because of the slight headache you're starting to obtain from the flashing lights around you, when suddenly someone sits on the other side of you. You look up, seeing that it's none other than Pedri. Again. Now you sit between Gavi and Pedri, and ask obnoxiously to Pedri, "Why are you here?"
He smirks, his eyes glimmering in the flashing lights. "I was here all along. But I could be asking you the same thing, baby."
You snort as Gavi looks over with unimpressed raised eyebrows at Pedri.. "Baby? Your insults are getting worse and worse every day," you remark back snidely, taking the name in a completely different way than most people- including Gavi- probably would.
Who knows how Pedri meant it?
Pedri falters for just a moment, and a strange look of slight confusion and maybe... disappointment?... flashes across his face, before he blinks away the dazed look and replaces it with that stupid smirk again. "You're a stupid baby because I don't think you can handle..." He gently takes your glass from your hand, and it's so sudden, you just watch him do it. "...that."
You glare. "What the hell, Pedri?" you snap. "I'm not anywhere near drunk! Give that back!"
He lifts the quarter full glass above his head, but leans his face close to yours and mutters, just loud enough for you to hear over the blasting party music, "Make me."
You glare more fiercely and snarl, "You know full well I'm capable of beating your ass! Now give me the glass!"
His grin just grows wider, and it annoys you that, for whatever twisted reasons, he's genuinely having fun. Enjoying himself. When you tease him or play pranks on him, you guess you have some fun, but it's mostly just about going out of your way to make his life harder because he's annoying. But he's genuinely having fun right now. Anyone could see that much.
The nerve!
You grab at Pedri, trying to wrestle the drink down, but fail, and just end up stumbling into him. He laughs and very gently elbows you, saying, "Be careful, baby. You've got no prince to catch you if you fall..."
"I don't even get your jokes anymore!" You say in frustrated annoyance. You grit your teeth and double back, ready to ram yourself to his stomach, but suddenly stop yourself when two hands grip your shoulders, and a body slips in between your's and Pedri's. "Gavi!" you say in exasperation. "Stop doing that!"
"You guys stop doing this! These arguments are getting out of hand, for God's sake!"
Pedri sighs, setting your glass down, but says, "It's really none of your business, Gav-"
"It is when you constantly do this with me and every-f***ing-one else around! It becomes our business!" He sighs witha little grunt, sitting back down. You swipe your drink off the table and sit back down next to Gavi, saying, "I'm sorry, Gavi... You see, Pedri's just so stupid..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Gavi rolls his eyes.
And little to either Pedri or you know, but the gears in Gavi's brain start spinning.
You sit on the bleachers, typing something up, enjoying the sunshine, when you hear footsteps. You sigh, knowing it will be Pedri approaching, but refuse to look up.
So you're surprised when Gavi says, "Hey, Y/n."
You look up and watch as Gavi sits close next to you, putting his arm around your shoulders. You don't think much of this, and don't mind that Gavi sits with you for a while, just chatting about whatever. He speaks softly, making the conversation personal. You respond in your regular tones, because why would you do anything different?
For weeks after this incident, Gavi keeps doing things like this, and, strangely, you've realized Pedri's been bothering you less. And you've been bothering him less.
But he keeps sending you the most venomous glances, it's almost worse than his occasional antagonizing.
Gavi's been getting kind of touchy with you, and you're not sure why, but you assume it's just because... you don't know. But you figure there must be a good, normal reason for it.
So you don't mind it. You enjoy your talks.
Today, you sit on the grass next to Gavi. You can't tell if it's just in your head, but you keep catching Pedri's eyes. And he doesn't look happy.
Well, Gavi's sitting quite close to you, so your shoulders are bumping, and has an arm around you, gently touching your lower back. You watch as Pedri starts walking towards you, and automatically a soft sigh escapes your lips.
Right then, Gavi gently slips his hand onto your thigh.
Automatically, your muscles clench, but you don't even look at Gavi.
Because you're watching Pedri.
He looks livid.
You swallow, and glance to Gavi, but as soon as you do, Pedri reaches him, knocks his hand off your thigh, doesn't even glance to you, and says directly to Gavi, "Come with me."
His tone is hard and cold.
Gavi stands up a little too casually (which seems to just feed Pedri's anger even more) and follows Pedri without a fight.
You stare, watching them go, in kind of a shock.
Once they're gone, you give it a minute or so, before standing up and immediately following. Snooping and eavesdropping are not below you. Can't hurt a girl for being curious, right? Besides, you've become pretty good at not getting caught.
You slowly walk down the stairs into the building, light on your feet, and peek behind every corner, listen through every door.
Finally you freeze when you hear voices, coming from behind a closed door. You lean against the wall slowly, intently listening, and grin softly when you can make out the sentences, before your face becomes serious again.
Gavi is saying, "...you've been the nicest person to her anyway!"
Pedri growls (which makes you swallow nervously), "But it's like you're taking her... She doesn't even like you... I saw the look on her face... Get your hands off of her, anyway... She's mine."
Your eyes furrow in confusion. Clearly he's talking about you, but what does this all mean...? Whatever it does, it certainly makes you feel a little angry, along with the utter uncertainty.
"Yeah? Why haven't you gone for it, then? Shoot your shot? You've just been being rude to her to get her attention without even showing how you really feel- I went about it in the-"
"She doesn't like you!"
"Yeah? Prove it?" Gavi says, just as fiery as Pedri himself, but it sounds a little different. You can't place your finger on what's different about Gavi's tone, though, from Pedri's...
There's a few seconds of silence, before a huff and a smaller comment from Pedri: "But I bet I like her more than you."
"Then prove it. I don't believe you."
"How the hell-"
"Whoever pulls her first."
You stare ahead, eyebrows knitted together.
And suddenly it clicks in your brain that was so opposed to believing anything even close to that, and it all makes sense.
All the stupid comments from him.
This conversation itself.
His dumb nicknames.
Has Pedri really... felt that way... all along?
Then why has he been acting like that?
There's silence between the boys, too, as you consider these things.
And, suddenly, you hear the doorknob turn, and your stomach drops to your knees. You try to swallow down a lump in your throat, looking for anywhere you can go to hide so that they don't see y-
"Y/n-!" Pedri stares at you, frozen.
Oh God. What... What is he going to do? Pick a fight, walk away? Lash out on me or Gavi? Pretend nothing happened?
He whispers, "You heard all that..."
You don't respond. And you're not sure if you could, even if you tried to, anyway.
But he does the most unlikely thing. The thing you weren't ever expecting.
Maybe someone else would. Maybe your brain just doesn't work that way.
But suddenly he pulls you to him, in a half-hug kind of thing, his muscles soft, and whispers, "I'm sorry, but... Maybe this will convince you to give me a shot..."
Suddenly, before you can react, he pulls you into a steamy kiss. You gasp, shocked, and although you don't want it to be happening, you don't want it to stop. You stare ahead, but slowly find the strength to close your eyes.
He pulls away and mutters, "Anyway, let me explain now..."
But suddenly Gavi walks by, casually, a smug look on his face, and he says, "I would have done it differently, but with someone like Y/n, you never know, Pedri... I mean it's funny you two are so immature about the way you're going about this, when I'm younger than both of you."
"You-"
Gavi glances back and interrupts, "Oh, and by the way, it was all a show. I'm not really into Y/n, and I know she's not really into me. It was just to make you jealous. You know, so maybe you'd finally admit your damn feelings and quit bothering her so much. Looks like you still haven't done it though. I've leave you two to that."
Pedri starts gaping as Gavi saunters away, and you stand just as shocked, but for more things than what Pedri's shocked about.
"For God's sake, Gavi," Pedri mutters under his breath, turning back to you. "Well, anyway," he breathes. "I've got a lot to explain... And say sorry for."
"Why were you..." you trail off.
He snorts. "I thought you'd be into that. I thought you'd like that sort of attention."
"I might've..." you chuckle nervously. "If I understood what you were doing in the moment..."
All the sudden, those glimmering brown eyes look deeper than they did before. More complex. Interesting. Beautiful.
Captivating.
Perhaps even... enchanting?
You swallow, and find yourself gripping to his shoulders tighter- which you didn't even know you were holding onto until now.
Now he mutters, but it doesn't seem mean.
You would say it was sexy, if that didn't mean you'd be calling him sexy.
"I've got a lot of work before I can call you mine..." he swallows. Usually a comment like this would disgust you.
But the way he just kissed you makes you not dread, but anticipate (just very, very, very slightly) eagerly all that work he needs to do in order to call you his.
Well, in other words, that set off butterflies in your stomach you didn't even know existed.
And now he whispers, "Sorry if it's too soon, but... Can I kiss you again?"
You grin stupidly and remark, "Only if you're not a coward."
He leans in, and his lips meet yours once again.
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ritzcuit · 3 months ago
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i just love itttttt. So much. Obviously i'm counting on you. obviously. because who else could protect them. who else is as close as shiba? as skilled as shiba? OBVIOUSLY! he's asking shiba to protect rokuhira (kunishige). protect him for the sake of the future (looking at chihiro) protect kunishige so that chihiro won't suffer. okay?! But maybe it's so purposefully vague bc it's just... protect The Rokuhiras..both of them... protect chihiro at all costs. either way. FLOP! Mr shiba. Mr nasty shiba. i love you so much but girl you got played. what happened!! Youre the rokuhiras' guard dog.. what happened!!!!!!
i love it sooooo muuuuuch ill never get enough of it. it doesn't even really add anything new, because like, we all knew already that shiba was on guard dog duty... but i want to spin around in circles forever... i love it. oh shiba. you truly loved that family, didnt you.. it's protection, sure, but not distant or clinical, you took chihiro out to have little life experiences, have some fun once in a while... you'd visit with gifts and news and pal around with your Best Friend ... so the pain of failure was already there. it's just even heavier now.
and then moreso with samura outright confronting him (..indirectly) sending a message that. you can't protect chihiro. after all. oh i just cant get Enough i want this manga to entirely be centered on shiba i'll never have enough!!! i want kunishige in on it too. i wanna know if kuni ever outright asked for this protection. possibly?! but possibly not!! i can easily imagine him asking shiba to not worry about it, to not add this extra dynamic between them, just treat him like they used to be, you know...? don't burden yourself with worrying about us! but yet, that's also irresponsible to ask... ohhh god i just wanna SEE IT AAUUGh
or even better if kunishige is like.if helike. Does. Ask. oh id DIE id drop DEAD! kunishige saying, shiba, if something were to happen to me..... and implying with his pause that he'd want shiba to take care of chihiro. and shiba's just oh cmonnn man of course! you don't even need to ask me. but don't worry, because nothing's gonna happen to you, right? and kuni's like you're right im invincible HAR HAR HAR and they laugh it off and shiba knows that the rokuhiras are never going to be completely safe.. but he has to believe the rokuhiras will be completely safe, because he's the one protecting them. that dual thinking of "we're all going to be fine/except on the off chance that we're not/but we are, so it's okay..." he'll promise to protect chihiro but he doesn't need to fulfill that promise, right?!
Ok well now im just being crazy but i crave this so badly. ineed kunishige and shiba to interact again please takeru mycrops
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broareweabouttoviberightnow · 3 months ago
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did someone say THE HITCHER PART TWO NOTES?? (n again MANY thanks to @dallasgallant for recin' this to me AOUGH)
whenever vehicles move on screen it's always in this real choppy jerky move n I'm curious if that was in purpose or just the nature of. 80s movie.
'I'd didn't do it. I didn't do any of it' MAMA. YOU HAVE A LOADED GUN POINTED DIRECTLY AT HER HEAD. N A HAND OVER HER MOUTH. YOU ARE NOT LOOKIN INNOCENT!!
'do you beleive me?' 'sure. yeah' mama. I wouldn't belive your ass!! you got a gun!! you're pinnin me in!! you look guilty as sin!!
dog these cops LOVE to point guns at him. can yall chill out. oh fuck they wanna kill his ass huh.
OH SHIT SHES GOT THE GUN NOW. SHE SHOT THAT GROUND N I AUDUBLY WENT OW!!
mmmm so we have a bonnie n Clyde esque? situation. hm. that's interestin.
this is the THIRD time this motherfucker has tried to turn himself in. TURN YOURSELF IN THE NEXT TOWN! the cops in THIS town want to shoot you dead man. ok n theyre firin yeah.
mmm explorin the point in which a person becomes desperate enough to shoot. hmmm.
SHE DROPPED THE FUCKIN GUN.
OH him hittin the breaks so they fire at EACH OTHER. oh he kinda went insane on that I fear.
JESUS FUCK THOSE CARS ARE ROLLIN
man at this point what do you even do. like. you're just fucked. capital f fucked. even if you convince them you didn't kill the first few people. he's committed a LOT of crimes since then. so.
OH FUCK A HELICOPTER. man they are NOT fuckin around anymore.
DOG. they do NOT have reason or cause to be firin on him like this. everybody needs to chill tf out RIGHT now.
his whimpery lil 'oh god' my poor baby
HUH. so we're really doin the 'what if the villian was a Mary sue' thing hmm. HE JUST SHOT DOWN THE HELICOPTER WHILE DRIVIN N THAT MOTHERFUCKER ONLY GLANCED OVER LIKE TWICE.
'why didn't he kill us?' mama don't ask him. he don't know either. OH. but the way he's dodgin the question is so reminiscent of the hitchhiker in the very beginnin where Jim asks him where he's goin n the hitchhiker won't answer OUGH. Jim has basically in 24 hours become his unwillin protoge
so what's the move now. Just like. wander through the desert or.
I will forgive the layin in bed with shoes n jacket exactly ONCE cause hes had a real awful day but he's still on thin ice.
'I wanted to help him' jesus FUCK. hey. can I say somethin? Dallas 'is this what you get for helpin people?' Winston core
that bed is so bouncy. how am I meant to be takin this moment seriously. he's bouncin.
'I can explain it!' 'it ain't that simple. I already tried' he would know. man. he's tried to explain this shit to like 10 people n not a DAMN one believed him. not even her man.
this. not quite romance. is so fascinatin. it's not love. n it never could be. but you get the distinct impression. that maybe. if they had met in some other life. or maybe just in a world where Jim never stopped for that man. it could have been. but not anymore. n never again.
MAMA PUTS THATS PHONES DOWN
dog I know this showers bout to feel fuckin heavenly. he still has gasoline on him n blood n dust n all that shit. that shower might as well be the gates of heaven
'I just want you to know where I am' DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. NASH. PLEASE.
DOG. why the FUCK. how the HELL. did the hitchhiker get in this goddamn ROOM. get the ever lovin FUCK outta here.
oh I hate this. I hate this alot. get the fuck away from her. good lord.
her recognizin it's not Jim by his hands. hmm. I dunno what it is but there's somethin there. (thought on this some more. the hands of a killer vs the hands of the innocent. hmm. aough.)
DOG HIM RIPPIN THE TOWEL BAR OUT TO USE AS A WEAPON.
somethin just occurred to me. he's got no wallet. n she left her stuff on the bus. where did they get the money for this motel.
dog these shots are SO sick. him silloetted between the 18 wheelers in the head lights. STUNNIN shot.
who the FUCK are these clowns. man. a BREAK. just ONE.
oh MY god. I don't even wanna describe this to you guys. I hate this so fuckin much. Jesus. oh my god.
if I were Jim I'd be LOSIN my fuckin mind. OH. so NOW. you see. NOW you want my help. NOW you know I was tellin the truth. I'd fuckin THROTTLE those cops.
the hitchhiker returnin the gun to him MY god.
'they'll catch you.' 'yeah. sure. so what.' oh. my fuckin god. Jesus christ.
the parallels between the cops n the hitchhiker n forcin violence onto Jim. Jesus christ.
'do it.' 'shell die' 'god. you wasted it'
oh my god I nearly fuckin vomited. that was oh my fuckin god. oh my god oh my god.
'I can't tell you how sorry I am' oh they're sorry! they're sorry they're sorry they're sorry!! if I were Jim I'd go entirely psychotic. I'd fuckin SNAP man.
OH MY FUCKIN GOD. THE SCENE WHERE NIM REMEMBERS HIS NAME?? OH MY FUCKIN GOD MAN I HAD TO PAUSE THAT SHIT SO FAST. the SMUGNESS as he realizes Jim remembers my fuckin GOD.
Jim spittin in his face that shit was SO cathartic. he didn't have to say anythin. that was enough. GOD.
I hope Jim gets to kill this son of a bitch. please. please. please.
'are you ok?' n Jim just silently lookin over at the cop. DUMB fuckin question. the FUCK do you think huh.
am I tweakin. is he wearin different nikes?? who gave him new kicks.
'you'll never hold him' 'there somethin strange goin on between the two of you. I dunno n I don't WANNA know.' way to make bein hunted by a man across an entire state n driven to borderline insanity sound like a torrid love affair.
Jim looks so fuckin over it man.
OH. THE PARALLELS BETWEEN JIM N THE HITCHHIKER LOOKIN TO THE COPS GUNS.
MAMA PUT THAT THANG DOWN. JIM. I LOVE YOU. YOURE SO CLOSE TO GETTIN OUTTA THIS. PLEASE PUT THE GUN DOWN.
need to sketch this man immediately. that whole scene with him n the cop car is SO well shot man.
ohhh I hope Jim's gonna kill this son of a bitch. well. ideally I don't want him to ever go near that man again. but if he's gonna crash out at least let him kill.
STOP FUCKIN DROPPIN THE GUN.
OH. THE FUCKIN CIRCLE NARRATIVE. JIM PUSHIN THE HITCHHIKER FROM THE CAR. BUT NOW HES IN FRONT OF HIM.
oh were not fuckin around anymore huh. he's tryin to kill his ass frl
MAMA GIVE UP ON THE CAR. FIND THE GUN.
oh SHIT. THE WAY I AUDIBLY YELPED WHEN HE HIT THAT MOTHERFUCKER OH.
oh Jim is NOT fuckin around anymore huh. he's got that gun n he's not jokin.
so. there's no way he's really dead right. yeah. I had a feelin.
OH. JESUS FUCK. I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA GO WITH THE LIKE. 'NO I WONT KILL YOU CAUSE THEN ID BE AS BAD AS YOU' NOPE!! HE BLASTED THAT MOTHER FUCKER!!
oh MY god. this shot it fuckin gorgeous.
final thoughts. Jesus hell. holy fuck. oh my god oh my god oh my god. I would ONE HUNDRED PERCENT watch again n recommend. the lack of emotional pay off. the circular narrative structure. the frustration n palpable helplessness. dear god. the ONLY note I have is I think to have the last scene of the movie be Jim walkin up to the road n stickin his thumb out to hitchhiker. like. watchin that would have made me fuckin TWEAK. but jesus christ. yeah. watch this movie. NOW.
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whereisyourstar · 6 months ago
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Yes. Promise.
Part 3 of the Stand By, Hold Back, Be Patient series
Part 2, Part 4
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Rating: SFW
Word Count: 4.4k
Warnings: Descriptions of blood, fear, mentions of past animal abuse/neglect, heavy handed dream imagery
(Take all ASL represented with a grain of salt, I'm the furthest thing from an expert)
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He reacts as you'd expect, which is to say he doesn't. Just stands there between two trunks and stares. Like yesterday, when you left him in your rearview mirror, you see the details of him so clearly. At this distance, you wish you couldn't. He's dressed the same as before, the clothes rumpled from use and too few washings, and the mask is ever-present, but you can see the stains too easily. Old, dried blood on his gloves, and matching splashes of it on his sleeves, in spots around his stomach. What you can see of his pant legs tells the same story—these clothes have seen a lot of killing. There's also dirt and stains you don't dare give a name to, but the fact that he doesn't wash his murder outfit is less upsetting than the fact that he has one.
You'd closed your eyes when you washed your hands last night, scrubbing at whatever encrusted filth was left behind from the machete's grip until your skin was raw. That same grip catches your eye from its place on his belt, dark and obviously rusty brown even from this distance. So it was blood. You know that now. It doesn't help abate the overall sense of unease.
But you're not dead twice over now, hopefully three by the time you get to make good on your plan to scurry inside. And, though you're still paralyzed with fear, with that dread of anything can happen right now, your researcher brain is tired of having questions with no answers. Why are you not dead.
You're summoning the courage to just say it when Jason slowly lifts his arm, bends it at the elbow, and snaps his fingers at you. The actual snap is deadened by his glove, but the motion is unmistakably…a fucking snap. You just stare at him—is he trying to, what, set you on fire with his mind? Trying to beckon you to him? Because one is slightly more plausible than you would have thought a month ago, and the other is never going to happen. You stay exactly where you are and watch as he purposefully drops his arm, then lifts, levers the elbow, and snaps all over again.
Something in your brain stirs at the movement, forcing a connection between what's on the other side of the door and the man in front of you.
"Dog?" you ask, quiet even to your own ears.
He nods with that same deliberate slowness.
"Oh my god," you whisper and press the entirety of your back against the door, more for support than outright fear. That's ASL, that's language. From him. And obviously he understands speech, else he would have just killed you and Heracles on the porch that night, but you assumed the lack of communication was just…part of the silent, scary murderer shtick. If there's one sign, then there can be others, and while your sign isn't great—and out of date besides, you have no idea how much of the language is still kicking around in your brain from the singular class you took in high school—maybe there's something you can do with this. The chance is worth it when you lift your hands and haltingly sign while you say, "Yes or no, you're Jason Voorhees."
The mask tilts to the side and god he really is too close, just a dozen or so feet away, then he lifts his hand and signs yes.
Okay. Well. You'd already been pretty sure you were dealing with a Jason, but the confirmation doesn't hurt. And you've learned something, he either had yes and no in his sign arsenal already, or he's understanding the connection between what you're saying and what you're doing with your hands. Good information, solid information, and now…now you can have a conversation. "You're the one, um. Killing people? Around here?" Another yes, so drawn out that it borders on parody. You know how fast he can be, you've experienced that firsthand, so you don't understand this reticence today. Is this just how he acts when he's not immediately focused on murdering? "Are you the only one? Doing the—the killings, since the 80s?"
The question confuses him—you watch his shoulders heave around a breath. But he does, after thirty seconds that stretch for an eternity to you, eventually sign yes.
That means that the man in front of you is either well into his seventies, and you've certainly never known a retirement age man to feel that solid, or the ghost/undead/phantasm theory has more credit than you thought. If he's even telling the truth. It's not like he has any reason not to lie to you.
You're not breathing correctly and you realize your fingers are completely numb. If you didn't have the door to hold you up, you know you'd be a trembling pile by now. This is—it defies thorough explanation, because you're curious, and mystified, and a little grateful to have your questions answered in any capacity, but mostly you're just scared. This is real, this hell week has been real, and it's not going away. Your foot crinkles the plastic of one of the bags as it tries to hold your failing balance and you remember. A glance to the right, loath as you are to take your eyes off him for even a second, and you see your truck, left unlocked and open in your flight last night, now closed. Seemingly untouched otherwise, which is…
You crouch for a second, eyes forward once again, and scoop the bags off the gravel of your walkway. They feel just as heavy as they did last night. "This was you?" You indicate the bags and remember your wild swing with them too late. As ineffectual as that hit had been, what if he sees this as you arming yourself? He hasn't touched any of his weapons—not that he'd need them if he wanted to harm you, you have the bruises to prove that—and maybe that's the point of the slowness. To lull you into a false sense of security before he uses all that speed and mass to crush you? But then it comes back to you being laughably easy to kill, he doesn't need tricks. If you're certain of anything, it's that if he wanted you dead right now, you would be.
Immune to the panic in your mind, Jason just signs yes. You don't know who else would have done it—some helpful stranger in the night, which is improbable, but not as much as it was before this week started—but again, it's good to have confirmation. It's hard to bite down on your instinctive why, to demand an explanation. You remind yourself to stick to yes or no questions, this needs to be as simple as possible to be effective. You've been signing every question you ask verbally, going so far as to fingerspell Jason's name, but he doesn't appear to have picked up anything else.
"Thank you," you tell him, and saying it is so normal that you almost apologize for hitting him next. The trees past your walkway, technically still a "yard", look different in the golden daylight, but that machete gouge is still there in a nearby trunk. Then, the question you most immediately need an answer to: "Are you going to kill me?"
The risk is somewhat calculated. You're the one with the ability to put a door between you and this man-ghost-creature, and whatever else he's capable of, there's no way he's getting through the solid oak, so if he reacts badly to the question…you have a decent chance of getting away.
Yes, Jason signs, then no. Unhurried in every motion. He hasn't moved an inch this whole time.
Your mouth is suddenly very dry. "Maybe? Or…you don't know."
Yes. Then, blindingly fast after the sedate pace he's set, he signs again: Dog. He's clearly running out of patience with your questions, the sound of his breathing filling the space between the two of you. Considering his answer to the last one, his patience is something you don't want to run out of, so you have to acquiesce.
"Heracles." This is fingerspelled too—creating a sign name on the fly after years of absence from the language is not a task you're up to. "My dog, Heracles. Yes?" Jason nods for this one and, horribly, steps forward.
It's a single step, but your heart leaps to your throat and sticks there. Your flinch back knocks the bags against the door and you hear Heracles, who up to this point has been perfectly patient, bark on the other side of it.
"Wait," you instruct, and goddamn if it doesn't work a second time. You're more forceful with this one, less of a screech and more of an order, which feels like it could have broken very badly for you. Every decision you've made thus far feels like it's on a knife's edge—you've just been incredibly lucky to this point, but now you think you know what he's after. That makes a difference.
Jason obeys. He doesn't move at all, you don't even think he's breathing. You can use that. With your hand pressed to the doorknob, you say, "You can see him, I'll let him come out. But only if you promise me that you won't hurt him." And you make the sign for promise, finger to the lips, then down flat on your fist. Jason watches the movement closely, you catch his mask dip down a touch to better view your hands—which in turn makes you realize that he's been staring mostly at your face—before he slowly mimics it. Yes. Promise.
What's the promise of a murderer mean to you? What should it mean? Probably less than it actually does to you. Because he spared Heracles' life in that first encounter, then saved him from the forest—regardless of your intention—to bring back to you. And Heracles, brave, terrified Heracles, had been more or less fine with him at the end there.
So you open the door and take your eyes off Jason for a second time to beckon your boy outside. His too-small eyes in his over-large head are so full of trust when he looks up at you, tail wagging at both the sound of your voice and your nervous smile down to him. "Come on, baby, come outside. Good boy, good—oh!"
Heracles unceremoniously shoves past your legs and bounds over to Jason without a care in the world. His tail is high and wagging, ears pricked up, and some honest to god pep in his step. You're left to just stand there and watch while Jason folds himself down to one knee on the forest floor and runs an affectionate, filthy glove over Heracles' back.
It is, frankly, the strangest, most confusing, and nicest thing you've ever seen. Heracles has always been perfectly affectionate with you from the get go—you'd had his head in your lap within a minute of visiting him at the shelter, his bandaged tail steadily thumping. It had been a shock when this sweet dog lifted that heavy head to growl savagely at a male shelter worker who happened to pass by, even with the warning you'd had about his history. You knew he could like men, he'd stopped growling at one of your roommate's partners just before the two of you left the city for good, but you'd never seen him like this. Wriggling happily while this stranger who, you cannot stress this enough, has been seconds from killing you twice now thunks his sides with massive pats.
It feels stupid to think it, because Heracles is a dog and not a rational judge of character, but Jason can't be completely, senselessly evil if Heracles likes him this much.
"I've never seen him like this with a stranger before," you say. You've moved closer without realizing, now about half a foot away from your open door. Jason's mask tilts up when you speak and watches your hands. "Sorry, I'm trying to understand, but—he was terrified of you last night. What happened in the woods when you went after him?"
Jason doesn't answer you with sign, which gives you a better idea of how much he actually knows. Instead, with that same deliberateness he doesn't seem to need to use with Heracles, he takes the cuff of his leftmost glove and pulls it down to expose a pale wrist. He presents the wrist to Heracles, who sniffs with such abandon that it makes you laugh a little. The mask snaps back up and it takes all the nerve you have left not to jump.
"Well," you start, a little unsteadily, "the method clearly works."
You watch the two of them for a few minutes and, against your will, you start to feel…secure. Jason's downright playful with Heracles, constantly patting him and letting himself be subjected to a happy dog's lack of personal space. Even when Heracles plants his paws in the middle of Jason's chest and jams his nose against the mask, which makes you nervous, because the first rule of someone having a mask is to not touch the mask, all Jason does is hold very still for inspection. All's clear, apparently, because the final sniff is punctuated with a huge, goofy dog smile that makes your overtaxed heart thump in a nice way for once.
Eventually Heracles gets bored of Jason's scent and comes back to you. You drop to your knees for him, don't even think about it, because his presence is perpetually comforting and you could really use some comfort right now. There's definitely a smell to him now, the faintest stench of old blood and fresh air on his fur that isn't as terrible as it should be. You try not to think about it as you scratch your nails over that spot he likes and give him a peck between the eyes.
Heracles doesn't react to Jason moving with near-silent steps to follow, eyeing you the entire time like you're the dangerous one here, so you don't either. With Jason crouched behind Heracles, and you sitting on your knees before him, you're both in a kind of neutral territory. You're not about to tell Jason to leave, and he can't kill you—you hope—with your dog right here. "He is such a little mama's boy," you say by way of explanation. "But you can keep petting him, if you want."
It's heaven for a dog. Two people, four hands, and nearly uninterrupted attention. After barely a minute of silent, dutiful petting between the two of you, Heracles flops down onto his side and just basks.
"Greedy little thing, isn't he?" All affection in the way you say it, punctuated by his tongue lolling out into your lap while you rub his ear. "He deserves it, though. He's had a hard life." You catch the mask glancing your way in your upper peripheral and you rush to explain. "I don't know all the details, only what the people at the shelter back in the city could tell me, but he was…really badly abused before they picked him up. His last owner, or whoever, clearly neglected him…you might have seen it, he's missing some teeth. And his tail's a little crooked from where they snapped it. Right—yeah, right there." Jason's glove hovers above Heracles' tail and stops midway, where there will forever be a bump. It's strangely satisfying to see that giant hand curl into a fist when you confirm the spot. That's how you feel about it too. "He's nervous around strangers now—" no need to upset him by singling out men in particular, just in case "—which is partly why I brought him out here with me. No neighbors, present company excluded."
Before you can worry about that being taken the wrong wrong way, you look up and realize that Jason's already staring at you. He's hunched over to pet Heracles and even from this vantage he's just big. Big hands, big shoulders, big presence. This close, and with the unclouded sun up high, you're treated to a few snap observations. He's obviously bald where the mask can't hide and every inch of visible skin is suntanned, but not in the way you've known people who work outside to tan—there's a dullness to his skin that makes you think of death, some primal human pattern recognition in your subconscious noticing the wrongness of him. Nothing with skin like that should be moving, you're sure. More than that, there's something different about the actual shape of his skull itself that the mask's straps exacerbate, but that isn't what makes your breath catch in your throat.
You can see directly through the eyeholes of the mask and are struck by an alert, richly brown eye and its sagging, paler sibling. All the usual micromovements of the brown eye are not mirrored by the other and your brain supplies several unbidden theories—birth defect, blinded by a victim, price of living this long.
You know you've stared back at him for too long when his breathing starts to grow louder, the sound of it rattling out from behind the mask, and you barely have a moment to remember to be scared when he signs you.
Heracles makes a displeased whine at the lack of attention and flips all the way onto his back, hind legs kicking until Jason finally puts a giant palm on the offered belly and starts to rub. The sound of Heracles' tail thumping against his leg pulls you back to yourself. "Me?" He nods, doesn't look away. "What about me?"
Dog, yes, he signs. Then, a more forcefully pointed finger: You.
If you survive this day, you vow to teach him question words. Guessing, or just the stress of the last twenty minutes, is giving you a headache. Forcing connections again, you try, "You…want to know why I'm here? Living here?" Another nod, and he could at least look a little gratified that you're catching on to his thinking like this. You have to look away, back down to Heracles and his blissed out face in your lap, to answer. "Same reason, I guess. I'm not as good with people as I used to be, and it's…quiet here. The quiet's nice."
It's the right thing to say, you know as soon as Jason starts to nod, unprompted by a question for the first time. And oh if that doesn't give you an idea, and the idea is emboldened to action by the way Jason has been putting up with Heracles' tail surely thumping a bruise against his leg. "I want to ask you something," you start, sure of yourself for the first time all day. "You don't have to say yes or no right away, definitely take time to think on it, especially if you plan on, uh, letting me live through the night. But I have an opportunity that I don't think many people get when they come to this area. That is, I want to ask if you'll allow us to live here. Heracles and I." The lack of immediate reaction gives you a chance to push your case as far as it can be pushed. "All he wants is room to roam, and all I want is to be away from the world, which I think…is what you want too. You'd probably prefer not to have neighbors, but we'd be good ones. Promise. And," the clincher, the real point of it all, "Heracles really likes you. And I think you like him."
Your sweet, boxy dog chooses that moment to snore, alerting you both to the fact that you've pet him into complete contentment. This means you have a close, personal view of Jason's eye widening when he returns his attention to Heracles, his hand beyond gentle on the sleeping dog's belly.
Then Jason stands in one smooth movement and uses every inch of his height to loom over you. Fast, faster than you expected, catching you off guard despite having already been looking at him. His breaths fall heavy, heavier than they've been all day, and when he touches the handle of his machete you think, Oh, he's still going to kill me. How quickly you allowed yourself to feel safe with Heracles here, how quick you were to conflate Heracles' protection with your own.
He points like he's stabbing the air. First at you, then at Heracles, then at the house at your back. He nods. Lifts the machete an inch out of its sheath, enough for the steel to gleam, and points at you again. Signs no. Then, deliberately staring you down, signs yes-no. Maybe. The implication is clear—stay here, keep your promise, and he won't kill you. Whether that's a probationary decision or the way you just have to live your life now is unclear, but it's a hell of a lot more than you were expecting out of this day. As far as dealings with landlords go, you've had worse.
Then he's gone. Just turns on his heel and stalks back into the woods without a second glance. You're left with your mouth hanging open, completely struck.
You do, eventually, keep the plan and scurry back inside. It becomes clear Jason's not coming back when Heracles snorts himself awake, sniffs the air, and trots into the house of his own accord. So you follow him in, close the door gently behind you, turn the lock, and just…breathe. Long, uninterrupted inhales and exhales until they stop shuddering on the end.
"You're all right," you say to the silence of your home. Then, to Heracles: "I owe you one."
You owe him more than one, which is why you put chicken on your grocery list and underline it twice. Putting your bank account into the red to get your boy, who just saved your life for the foreseeable future with his ability to charm murderers, a treat is more than fair. Your paycheck will be hitting soon, signaling the end of the month and the oncoming loveliness of full spring, so the nasty email you'll get from the bank is worth it. As if you'd be scared of an email after the week you've had.
Vowing to do some work when you return, and after checking with the store in town that dogs are allowed—you can't bring yourself to hate that you're the kind of person that brings your dog everywhere now that your dog is a literal murder deterrent—you harness Heracles up and step outside. The two of you walk to the truck, and save for a moth that found its way inside when the door was open last night, you're uninterrupted as you coax the engine to life.
No figures in the rearview. No growling from Heracles while the trees steadily thin out until there's actual road, not just dirt, under your tires. And where town has always been more or less safe, if more crowded than you'd like after acclimating so naturally to isolation, the eyes of passerby feels heavier than before. Like they can see the deal you've struck with the beast that murders their friends, their neighbors, and you've been tainted for it. That's entirely in your head, you know, but it doesn't stop you from wanting to explain that you're not actually glad to have an understanding with a serial killer. It's still a relief to get back in your truck and know that you don't have to be back for at least a few days.
The forest accepts you back, and it feels different too. The trees press in just as much, scratch the side of your truck with their errant limbs, but there's no sinister edge to it. In the orangey afternoon light, the birches and oaks and trees too old for you to name, look golden.
You're back in the house, knife unstrapped and tucked away, and unpacking the groceries when you realize you're half-planning what cassettes you're going to get for the truck when the paycheck comes in. You like Joan Baez as much as the next person, and though one album over and over is getting old, that's not what stops you. It's the promise of having a tomorrow that does it—that you're planning for it, and the tomorrows after, in your own small way. It's how you realize that you believe Jason.
That night, when your eyes are too tired to squint at your computer screen any longer, you perform your usual lock checks. Your face gets washed, you change into whatever's comfortable and clean enough to sleep in, and you pull back the sheets on your bed. Heracles, ever your stalwart companion, spreads into the space with an appreciative sigh. After so long cramped onto the sofa with you, you suppose he's earned the right to take up more room on the king mattress than you do.
Sleep comes in waves over you. With heavy snores somewhere near your mid-back, and a light wind sighing through the trees outside your shaded and curtained window, you drift off without fear. When you dream, it is of turbulent water stretched far past the horizon, and a small boat in the middle of it. Angry waves crash in every direction except for where the boat touches, its simple, unpainted wood reflected in a circle of smooth water. A hand reaches lazily into the water and skims the surface, unafraid.
You scoff at yourself in the morning, rubbing sleep out of your eyes and replaying the dream in your head. You don't even like water, the ponds and creeks you grew up with held little except the promise of mosquitoes and alligators, so you're not sure what your subconscious is trying to tell you with this one. Still, it stays with you all through the morning routine, and as you sit down to get to work, you silently open a document and type out the scene as clearly as you remember it. Just to exorcise it from your brain, you tell yourself, but you save it to a new folder called Am I losing it. Just in case.
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lagooneah · 1 day ago
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Birthday...
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A comfort fic after Overture - By Me (Lagooneah) Slightly proofread(?) Contents: Comfort, general sibling shenanigans, found family trope, cuteness and everything being ok for once. Warnings: The heart wrenching desire that things were this ok in canon. W/C:Roughly 2100 ---------------------------------------------
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Yes- I am, now could you help-"
"You're certain-"
"Great heavens, will you just trust me, mate?"
"... Always..."
A blonde young man, no older than 18 or 19 years of age, passes through the door of the antique shop, the jingle of a bell sounding faintly before the blunt shut of it. He strides a few feet off, stopping in front of a boy with dark hair and eyes even darker, sitting and slouching at a bench.
He places his hands on his hips, making a show of his presence rather than announcing himself- but his colleague is quick to catch on, lifting his head and meeting his gaze,
"Nothing? Really?" He asks with a lift of his brow, the blonde shakes his head with a scoff,
"Nothing. Shame really, thought for sure the antique shop would have something..."
They both sigh, nearly in sync while the blonde plops right beside the brunette, resting his arms out and over the back.
"Carlooooo," He whines dramatically, hanging his head back. Before he can even get a response, he sounds again "Carloooo what are we going to doooooo." He whines further, flopping his weight onto the other boy, now getting a response.
"Ack! Romeo! The blazes-?" Carlo huffs, attempting to shove his comrade, Romeo, off of his back, but to no avail.
"Save me Carlo... My body is limp, I'm seeing.. The light..!" He continues, his limbs reaching only to flop again over young Carlo, who huff and grumbles with another shove,
"Get.. Off me..! God- why is it so hard to shove you off?!"
"Maybe it's because you're so short."
"Am not! I'm average and you know it!"
"Yeah, yeah- 5"7."
"Get your head out of the CLOUDS- YOU SASQUATCH-"
"So this is where you've been?"
In an instant, the pair are at a halt, meeting eyes in silent agreement to not look up at what's before them.
Or rather, who.
The company lets out a sigh, hands at their hips, "And here i foolishly thought my protégés were doing something useful in their time slipped away from me."
Carlo's eyes dart to his friend, eyes wide with questioning,
"I thought you said she knew?? That you told her-"
"Told me what?"
The boys whimpered quiet and meek, like a pair of puppies to their mother dog. Romeo leans down further to Carlo's ear,
"Follow my lead." He clears his throat.
He rises quickly and with straightened posture, dragging his fellow by the collar and straightening him to his feet too.
"Lady Florence, I can explain."
The woman before them stands clear now, her deep red hair tied in a neat bun, her eyes icy, calculated, fierce. Her arms cross and eyes narrow, a familiar language that need no words by the pairs standards.
The blonde clears his throat again, eyeing the other before speaking again,
"I- well. I figured that since the streets were mostly empty, safe, then I could uh... Tends to some other matters. More personal." He brushes over, Carlo beside him, side-eyeing and mouthing a 'what?'
There's no way he could get away with this.
...
He didn't.
"Why didn't you tell her?!" Carlo hisses, pulling his boots off and letting them fall with a clunk against the hardwood floors. Romeo defends,
"Because it's supposed to be a surprise! What could I have told her? 'Hey, we're gonna go shopping for fun and whimsy', it wouldn't have worked!" He hangs his coat, not caring enough to adjust the amulet attached.
Carlo rolls his eyes before using them to glare at the blonde,
"Whatever..." His tone lowers as he continues to undress out of his uniform, turned away from the other. Romeo remains quiet for a moment before sighing softly, walking right over to him.
He drops his forehead to Carlo's shoulder and mumbles,
"Sorry... She won't let us alone for weeks now..."
Carlo chuckles, patting and tousling Romeo's hair,
"It's fine... We're acting like we would've been up to her standards enough to stay long anyway. Just let me help next time, you dunce."
Romeo smiles, lifting his head to rest his chin against his shoulder.
"You can still help noooowwwww..." He whines, similar to hours before to Carlo's dismay,
"Don't do this-"
"But Carlo I need heeeellllpppp, and you're the smartest guy I knooooowwww." He continues whining, dramatically turning his head and flopping his arms about.
"Ok I'll help just cut it-"
"Carlooooooo..."
"YES YES I'LL HELP STOP."
Romeo smirks, and Carlo's cheeks flush with frustration, before smiling and letting out a small giggle, which turns into a fit of giggles between the two for full minutes in the dressing room.
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"Ok- here's the plan." Romeo and Carlo are close, faces leaned near as they whisper.
"You distract Lea first- you keep her occupied with 'training', while I run down the Boulevard for some kind of shop. Then, I come back on the 10 minute mark, we switch off, discreetly, you can't go immediately or she'll notice." He pats and squeezes his shoulder, "Ready brother?"
"As I'll ever be, brother."
And the plan goes into motion- for the next two hours of what was endless training for Lady Florence, the boys were taking turns searching high and low for a shop worthy enough, let alone a gift. Though they weren't 'training' per se, you could easily be convinced that they lost multiple pounds each during these two hours.
Aside from the occasional look of suspicion, they were under the radar in their plan, executing with high precision that they only ever seemed to practice when on the battlefield.
It was at the plans near end, right when they were beginning to lose hope, that they found the perfect gift.
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"Are you sure this is going to work?"
"Yeah! Why?"
"Well- just wondering- do you know if she's ever been surprised before? Like, a dark room, confetti, screaming 'Happy Birthday!' Kind of surprise?"
"I... Oh. I actually have no idea."
"Exactly! What if it's like that one time you and Rosie threw something for me like that, and I passed out from shock? Or worse..."
"Pfft- hehe. I forgot about that-"
"Shut up! You know how my parents are..."
"Yeah- sorry. Anyways, what are you worried about? That she's gonna hit us? Think we're intruders?"
"Well, yeah. I doubt anyone visits the Legendary Stalkers room, turns all the lights off, and waits for her."
"Well, you make it sound so much creepier than it is!"
"It's inherently odd!"
"Shh! Someone's coming-"
The jostling and jingling of keys sound, paired with clicks of a heel, nearing closer and closer to the door before them.
Romeo and Carlo had been in this room- Lea Florence, their teachers room- for a generous hour and a half hanging streamers, setting a small table with themed cutlery and plates, and distributing items of 'who carries what' for when she would arrive.
Carlo held a moderately sized cake, decorated with white, red, and pink frosting in a neat design of a rose garden- topped with a personalized piping of the birthday woman's' full name and candles and flame, the only thing illuminating the dark room.
Romeo held a small party favor that was sure to spew confetti at the strings pull, and he stood just a foot away to the nearest light switch. Putting himself in charge of timing the light to then signal Carlo to shout the words...
click
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"
The room stops as Lea's eyes widen and adjust, her mouth opening, but no words making their way out. Confetti in her hair, and two boys smiling wide before her, she lets out a scoff.
Then a giggle.
Then a full hearty laugh.
The pair glanced at one another, smiles faltering as their target audience began laughing at them. At the display? With them? What was it? Whatever it was, they didn't pick up on it, not before Carlo could speak up,
"You... Don't like it?"
And Romeo followed,
"Sorry- are parties not your-"
"This is what you fools were up to?" She asked as she wiped a tear from her cheek, giggling in between words. They looked at each other again, before simultaneously going,
"Yeah..?"
Lea giggles even more- Lea, the Legendary Stalker- was giggling like a schoolgirl before them. They thought that they must've passed out and started dreaming or something. She saunters over, wiping another tear or two before wrapping her arms around their necks, pulling them together into a half-hug.
"You idiots..." I all she mutters as her hold tightens, each boy leaning into her shoulder and peering at the other in confusion first, then smiling in wonder.
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Another hour passes quick as seconds for the group; sharing cake, small stories, and even a few laughs. They've never been this close, this vulnerable- with her at least.
Lea was all business, a serious face and a constant expression that deters. Carlo would bet that nobody's seen her in such a way, no one in Krat, and Romeo would bet that the reason for that was because it was reserved for those closest to her.
Both reveled in the feeling of honor to have been subjected to this 'her' regardless.
"Oh- I nearly forgot. Carlo?" Romeo gestures to him, and after a set of looks he nods,
"Oh yes! The gift!" He laughs, practically skipping with energy towards the small box in the corner of the room. Lea tilts her head, raising a brow while her eyes bounce from Carlo to Romeo,
"Gift? Don't tell me-"
"it isn't a birthday without at least one gift, is it?" Carlo asks paired with a wide smile, placing the gift in his teacher's lap. The boys watch, each with an eager expression that communicated the 'go on' they wished to say. Lea smirks, shaking her head before gently opening the box.
Within laid a sleeve, one fitting for a vinyl and only that. It was slightly damaged, scratched a bit scuffed in one area, slightly bent inward in another. It was light tan in color, a blank canvas for any artist's influence. Lea looked up from where the cover laid on her lap and at the boys responsible,
"You... A vinyl sleeve? What for?" She inquired, and Romeo giggled in response,
"What else for? The vinyl we've got! The tune we recorded not too long ago!" He smiles, turning his head to Carlo beside him and pointing, "Which by the way... Have I told you how absolutely smashing you are on the Piano?"
Carlo smiles and scoffs, hiding the blush dusting on his pale cheeks,
"Only a million times... Besides, it wouldn't have been complete without your Cello."
"Annndd you're violin." Romeo turns the compliment to Lea, whose eyes are wide with surprise. They begin to soften, and both Romeo and Carlo nod and walk to her, pointing and poking at the cover, a mess of 'we can draw here...', 'mark our names here...'. Lea watches as they brainstorm, seeming content enough to just let them spew whatever ideas they like, only chiming in for little details and slight tweaks.
For a moment she thinks, for a moment, it's as if all of her worries and troubles were gone, and the only things that existed were these two bright young men before her.
Her students, her family.
And thus, the record was housed.
Romeo drew roses about the edges of the sleeve, some messier than others, but overall delivering the message.
Lea adds on details, like a leaf or a bush here and there, a swoop there and a swoop here, all in compliment to Romeo's doodles.
Carlo writes right in the middle the title of the tune; "Survivor". His writing is smooth and elegant, the calligraphy refined and practiced in every word. He writes his name in the left corner, just "Carlo" in a similar but more casual script, and he passes the quill to his friends.
Friends, Family, the people he loved and who loved him back.
With Romeo and Lea's name written near his, the sleeve is complete, making a cover fit for their tune.
It was messy, it was colorful, it was unique, and it was theirs.
Lea hangs it on the wall beside her bed in the bedroom, Carlo and Romeo already passed out in the chairs at the center table; Romeo snores, recklessly leaned back against the chair, while Carlo remains quiet with his head laying over his folded arms. Lea smiles, opting not to wake them quite yet, instead taking it all in.
Taking them in, and under her gentle wing rather than below her critiquing sword. For in this moment, they were her baby chicks and not her soldiers.
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A/N: A cute Lies of P Fic, Catch! So I finished Overture and I was upset and hated it (it was amazing and I'm obsessed with the lore and characters) After the ending ripped my heart out, cut it into pieces, and put it back inside of me, I decided to do what writers do and be extremely delusional, put it into words, and post it while I act like I'm ok! It's also teeny tiny practice for how I wanna write these characters in that longer fic that I'm planning- and with that in mind I actually really enjoyed exploring these characters and their dynamic! Super fun write, and I hope it's just as fun of a read! Enjoy!!!
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bluebellhairpin · 1 year ago
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i need to talk about this rn i'm sorry but i've been having baby fever and been thinking so much about erwin as a dad 😞🩷 (cw pregnancy)
firstly, he suspects you're pregnancy before you do. he's so observant and knows you so well, so when you start to look tired, or have cravings/aversions to certain foods you didn't before, he takes note. what seals it for him is when he notices your pet (let's say a dog) clinging to you. of course they like you, but now it seems they don't want you out of their sight, might even growl whenever he tries to touch you in their presence. and of course, he notices if you haven't yet had your period (he doesn't even need an app he just remembers your usual time of month) but of course he is considerate that you may want to surprise him, and he is gracious enough to be surprised and over the moon with you when you tell him because of course the confirmation is better than the suspicion. he does admit to knowing already later on, but how can you be mad that he pays attention so well??
and when you get rounder, you learn quickly the baby has a preference for his voice. if the baby is hiding from you in the belly or keeps kicking when you want to rest, they only listen to his voice, he'll say something like "Be kind to your mother," and the child will literally stop and you're just like " •_•"
also he will absolutely hire someone to help with cleaning and cooking while you recover postpartum, make sure you don't have to lift a finger for anything besides the baby and your own wellness. even after the first couple weeks and the person he hired is gone, he'll still do most of the cleaning and cooking while you recover because he understands that while you focus on cariny for the baby, he has to focus on caring for you. he will also want to be involved with learning about how to best care for the baby as much as possible (he becomes a master at burping 😌)
and the first time you guys drop the child off at daycare, he's pretty straightfaced and serious to anyone looking at him, gives a quick hug and a kiss to his little one but mainly focuses on making sure everything is accounted for in their bag and lunchkit. the staff might think he's too cold and aloof to be so unemotional about his child's first day at daycare, but what they don't know is that the second he gets in the car and out of the kiddo's sight he puts his hand over his face and starts weeping softly, holding your hand so tightly with the other because his baby is getting so big so fast and he's proud but also sad after hearing them cry as soon as you both walked out.
he just becomes the most wonderful father and husband and loves his family with everything he has ☺️🩷
ik I told u like two days ago I was letting this cook and I'd answers that night but OOF i forgot. however i've enjoyed being reminded each time I went into my ask box! I read though it each time! loved it so much! anyway i'm gonna pop som thoughts below so this doesn't get too long for the poor people who don't wanna be Erwin's baby mama's lol <3
cw pregnancy for below
I very much headcanon Erwin as an observant man, so I 100% agree with the notion that he notices you're pregnant before you do. the food tastes changing, the sickness (the dog! (in my little world there's a dog! (his name is Atticus))) - the notes it all away but the little shit says nothing. he might partially be being considerate and letting you tell him, but i also think he isn't above waiting how long it take you to figure it out after he does. it's like a little bet he has with himself lol
AND THE BABY LIKING HIS VOICE ofc my child would only listen to Erwin smh. that's kinda so funny to me though, I love that idea. maybe Erwin spoke quietly for a while and the baby was real still, you kind of panicked a little, but as soon as Erwin went "oh my god, What?!" the babe went wild as if to say "oh, daddy is here! yay! he didn't leave us alone!" bc yk. the baby is a little shit too just like it's dad.
He also totally doesn't like the idea of you lifting a finger. he says your body is busy making a whole human being, don't you dare make him dinner too, making it himself is the least he can do. I also firmly believe afterwards he's a very hands on dad. yeah perhaps he'll keep some hired help around for the days where e's not there, but when he is there? you're surprised he isn't run off his feet. the man has so much energy for being so chill and stoic. he'd be out here being dad, mum, housekeeper, cook, taxi AND CEO, and still cuddle up to you at the end of the day and wanna attempt to ENTHUSIASTICALY put ANOTHER baby in you.
thEN the picture of him breaking after dropping your kid off for their first day! my heart! he is such a softie. big fucking teddy bear. full of marshmallows and clouds. he can look cold and aloof all he likes but we know the truth. we've seen him cry while watching both The Good Dinosaur and Bluey. he can't hide from us.
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therottenkingsreckoning · 7 months ago
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Part 2 of Chapter 9! I told y'all I'd get this done quick. This also means that we're halfway through this beast, and I'm so glad you've been sticking with me through this journey so far. Enjoy!
~~Little Flame, Ch. 9, part 2~~
Eddie's eyes widened, and despite himself a smile crept onto his face. "Wha- really? Oh, well that great news darlin'! She'll say yes, I just know it!"
"I really hope so," Sally murmured. Then, seeming to regain her normal bombast, she waved both hands above her head in a gesture towards the imagined spectacle. "But that's all the more reason it needs to be bold! Fantastic! I'll put on the greatest play you've ever seen, with her and I as the leading stars, and that moment will be the most beautiful 3rd act of any story ever written!"
"Oh I'm sure it will!" Eddie said excitedly. It was hard not to get excited when the girl got on moments like this. "And I'll help ya as soon as I've gotten Frank's food!"
She turned to look at him, crestfallen. "Y...you can't help me now?"
Eddie shook his head. "Nope. I've got my own sweetheart waitin' back at home with a cravin' for hot dogs, and by god I'm gonna get 'em." He'd not forgotten the original plan, nor was he going to be pulled away from it.
"Oh well, I'm going there too!" she insisted. "I need to get supplies after all. You could just...help me pick them out real quick, discuss a basic plan, and then I promise I'll let you continue your journey in peace!"
"No good," he told her. "Howdy's fresh out of the stuff I need, which is why I'm here at all." He wouldn't compromise on this.
Sally looked at him with sad, pathetic eyes. "Please?"
He'd maybe compromise on this.
"Alright, fine," he sighed, admitting defeat at last. "But only 'cus it's you, and I do wanna see it go well for ya."
"Oh excellent!" She squealed delightedly, pulling him into a hug. "I knew I could trust you!"
A few moments later, and with his groceries stored in her fridge for momentary safekeeping, the pair had set off. He could've brought it all back to his own house, but the thought of returning without those crucial items was...less than appealing. Probably why I'm choosing to do this at all, he thought. Rather here than there.
Unfortunately for him though, the pinball machine of entropy had not yet lost its momentum, as not even a full minute into their walk, an all-too-familiar pink figure appeared.
"Shit, it's her!" Sally hissed. "I can't let her know what I'm doing, it'd ruin everything!"
"Well whaddya expect me t-" Eddie began.
All that met him was the rustling wind, and a suspiciously star-shaped void to his right.
"Hi Eddie!" Julie said cheerfully, skipping up to him. "Who are you talking to?"
"...no one, apparently," he grumbled.
"Oh...well, have you seen Sally anywhere? I just thought of a great new game for us to play, but I can't seem to find her."
"N-nope!" he lied quickly, glancing around for any sign of his friend. "Can't...can't say I have, all day."
Julie squinted at him suspiciously, and Eddie felt the hair on his neck stand up. He wasn't a very good liar, especially when he was already stressed out as is.
"You sure?"
"Sure am!" He pretended to think for a moment. "Let's see... I went and dropped off all the mail earlier, but uhh...she was outta the house right then." That part wasn't a lie- she'd been gone, as she often was. "Then I came home and started workin' on sorting letters, but I remembered I needed to drop by the store and get and some food for Frank-"
"Oh!" Julie exclaimed. "Is that why you're here? Well, we could go to Howdy's together, and I can say hi to Frank when we bring it all back."
"Wait!" the man blurted out, realizing his mistake too late. She looked at him confused, already turning to head in the direction of the bodega.
"H-he doesn't have the ingredients I need," Eddie continued. "Ran out of the milk and cherries for those signature hot dogs, so I gotta go ask Barbie about it."
Julie huffed and turned to him, crossing her arms. "Ok well, now I know you're lying. Frank wouldn't want a hot dog, especially those ones, he hates them! So what's the truth?"
"That is the truth!" Eddie huffed back, hands on hips. "Ain't ya heard of a craving before?"
"I can tell you're hiding something, and sending me in circles!" Then, seeming to think of something, she smiled smugly and pointed a finger at him. "I'll believe you if you spin around 5 times and point back at me."
"What does that have t-" Eddie began, but it was no use. He was trapped and he knew it, however silly these games might be. Spinning once, twice, three times around and round, his vision blurred and wobbled until his outstretched finger nearly collided with hers.
"Is that good now? Can I leave?"
"Hmm... not quite," the monster said. "What am I thinking of right now?"
"Uhh...flowers?" He said.
"Nope."
"Games."
"Nuh uh."
"Look, lemme go!" Eddie shouted, stamping his foot in anger. "I'm runnin' late, and I just know Frank already hates me right now cus I couldn't just get 'em what he wants, and I'm tired and stressed and a terrible husband and I really don't need this right now!"
Silence. Julie looked at him in shock, and he could sense that wherever Sally had hidden herself she was stunned too. "Oh.." the rainbow monster said gently. "You weren't lying about that, were you?"
"What reason would I have to lie?" He growled, wiping away the tears that had begun to form.
"I...I don't know. I'm sorry," she said, stepping out of his way. "I'll let you get back to it."
"It's fine," the man grumbled. It really wasn't, but he was too tired to keep arguing. Glancing back at her for just a moment though, he said, "Maybe you should drop by later. Help explain what took me so long. He might get less mad at you."
And now, after all the nonsense he'd been through, he'd made his way over to Poppy's barn. Those big red doors might as well have been the gates of heaven, and his angel was visible still in the window, laughing away at some unknown joke. Finally, he could get this done.
Knocking on the door, he was greeted with a cheery "come in!" from the resident bird. She looked up from where she'd been adding pumpkin seeds to a recipe, and her eyes widened at his disheveled & miserable appearance. "Oh dear... are you alright?"
"Yeah," Barbie added. "No offense, but you look like you've been put through the wringer."
"It's been...a day," Eddie sighed. "Been looking for ya cus I needed to ask a favor."
"Oh?" The dog stepped a bit closer, scratching awkwardly at the space between her tied-up ears. It was rare that Eddie Dear asked anything of his friends- the man was self-reliant to a fault, and would much rather be the one giving than getting. So whatever this was must be important.
Eddie clasped his hands in front of him, looking up at her with pleading eyes. "Please tell me you have some cherries and condensed milk I can borrow. Frank really wants a hot dog and Howdy was fresh outta both of those."
An awkward silence, then the hound burst out laughing, relieved. "Didya really come all this way just to ask for that? You could've just asked Jonesy, I left him back at home."
The realization crumpled Eddie, and he hung his head in shame. Yes, he probably could've just asked earlier and saved so much of this hassle. But, fool that he was, he'd gone and overthought. Like a fool he'd made it 10 times harder on himself.
Barbie's laughter faded as she took in his reaction. She put a hand on his shoulder and sighed, "Well I'm sorry to tell ya, but I'm out too. I had my treat for today, but I'm prepared to go hungry for a bit."
And just like that, all his dreams had been shattered. He was so close to Paradise, but it had all been a mirage. Looking desperately over to Poppy, he was met with a shake of her head. "Dear, you know I don't eat things like that." Trying her best to reassure, she added "I-I'm sure Frank will understand. I mean... it's not your fault you couldn't find any."
Mhmm," Barbie hummed in agreement. "She's right. No, hey, look at me. She's right. You got nothin' to beat yourself up for. You tried, and that's what matters."
Eddie wasn't sure he believed them, but what else could he say or do by now? He'd exhausted his options, and would simply have to bear the anger, the crushing disappointment, that his lover would have for him. As he made his way home slowly, footsteps like lead, he was briefly considering swandiving into the nearest lake when the shaking of tall grass nearby caught his ear.
"Hey."
"Hey Mosely," Eddie said dejectedly. "Can't talk right now, sorry. Boutta go get my head bitten off."
"Ah, t-that's the thing actually," the grass continued. "I uhh...overheard what you were talking about just now, and I actually have some."
"Wha- really?!" Eddie instinctively whipped around to peer into the brush, then quickly apologized and turned away from his scopophobic friend. But was it true?
"Wait here. I'll go get them."
And wait he did. If it had been anyone else, Eddie wouldn't have trusted they'd come back. Even now he had his doubts, his nervous impatience as each minute ticked by. But he knew Mosely, and as soon as he'd fully begun to worry he heard movement again. He turned to see a can and jar stacked neatly on the dirt road, still cold when he went to pick them up.
"Thank you." Eddie's voice quivered, damn near sobbing with relief. "I could hug you right now."
"Haha... please don't," said Mosely.
The trip back went quickly. He snatched his groceries from Sally's fridge, checking first that no Julies were around (what an awkward explanation that would be!). Then he was off to the little yellow house with speed.
"Where have you been?!" Frank snapped when he answered the door to their mate. "And what's with the bags? I asked to get one thing for me, not all of this!"
"This is your hot dog," Eddie tried to explain weakly, already visibly wilting as the anger he'd been fearing bore down on him.
"How? Couldn't he m... huh?"
Words trailed off as the man before them seemed to crumple, sinking down to his knees as bags fell an uneven thud-and-rustle on to the floor.
"I'm sorry," Eddie began, hands again clasped in desperate prayer. "I am so sorry Frankie, I tried to go quickly. But then Howdy ran out of milk and cherries so I tried to get some from Barb-"
"Eddie..."
"-but then she was over at Poppy's, so I tried to go there but Sally stopped me to ask about a play and Julie forced me to answer riddles 'cus she didn't believe me when I told her ya wanted hot dogs-"
"Ed- wait Julie?"
"-And when I finally got over to Poppy's she was out which broke my heart 'cus I knew ya really wanted it and-"
"EDDIE!!!"
Frank had heard enough. Grabbing hold of his husband's shoulders, they pulled him forwards...
and into a kiss.
Eddie flinched in shock, then his arms wrapped around his love as he leaned in, finally breaking to rest his head on Frank's chest.
"It's ok honey," the grey chuckled. "I understand now. And you still got me what I wanted."
"I uhh...yea!" Eddie looked up at his mate with doe eyes. "You're not mad at me anymore?"
"Oh I'm still angry," Frank said as he helped their husband up. "But not at you."
Eddie was going to ask about that, but he didn't. Far better to not risk spoiling the moment when he'd seemingly gotten so lucky. "You still want your food now?"
"Mhmm!"
"Well alrighty then!" He practically skipped to the kitchen, feeling sunshine and rainbows right now as his previous worries melted in the loving presence of his partner. "I am sorry it took so long," he called through the doorway. "For what it's worth."
Frank laughed at this as he walked in and sat at the table. "Love, I was actually overreacting a bit. It's only been 15 minutes."
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snyderdenyer · 6 months ago
Text
Because I'm Insane and in love with Clark Kent
Is this really fanfic?? It's more of a word vomit. My irrational ass got jealous of seeing FICTIONAL Lois Lane with FICTIONAL Clark Kent and so... here we are? IDK maybe I just wanna be their third. But first time posting any writing since middle school please be nice. Constructive criticism is very much welcome if anyone ends up reading this.
Summary: Clark is in love with someone else
TW: Angst, pining, unrequited love, and wildly inconsistent verb tense
It's getting harder. Seeing him with her every day. It's not his fault, and it's not hers either. But you can't help that rush of anger and sadness... of, longing, whenever you see them exchange those small smiles. Chaste kisses goodbye, a hand on each other shoulders, a knowing glance from across the room. That dull ache in your chest, knocking the wind out of you, your head turning as fast as it had looked. You could lie to yourself for a while. Say to yourself 'it's just a crush. You'll get over it" But now you know. Every time your heart drops when he mentions her, every time you lie in your bed, tears welling in your eyes just knowing she's with him right now... you know.
You love him. You love him like you've never loved anyone before. Being his friend was enough, more than enough, when it was just the two of you. And then she came along. The life you foolishly let yourself imagine with him gone in an instant. The dogs, the two kids, the grocery lists made in bed, taxes done at the table, vegetables chopped in the kitchen... all gone. The moment you saw the way he looked at her, the pure adoration, almost reverence in his eyes, it was over. And then the way he talked about her. About how full his heart was when they were together, how she consumed his every waking thought, about how he finally understood what you talked about when you said home could be a person. Because he thought she was becoming home to him, it ate away at you. When you would lie and say you don't get it, but god, you did because that's what he was to you... it made you so frustrated you could just... scream. And you did.
Spending time with him became bittersweet agony, the one thing you looked forward to the most before turning into what you felt was your personal hell. What could you have possibly done in your past life to deserve this? Every night spent sleepless. Laying on the couch that he helped move into your apartment, holding onto a pillow he helped pick out for you, screaming into it. Because he was the kind of man to care like that. The kind of man to offer to spend an entire day dragging things up and down three flights of stairs, just to be kind. Look through an entire Ashley's furniture store on his day off, answering questions about which white he thought looked best.
Just because you were his best friend. That thought used to fill you with love and warmth, because you were his person. But you aren't anymore. He doesn't come to you when he's had a bad day at work, or when he wants to go to a farmers market, or a new restaurant, or even just needs to go to the DMV. She's his person now. She's the love of his life. The woman he's bought a ring for, the woman he has a proposal planned for. And now you're just his best friend. And you're not sure how to move on... how can you go from being his first call to his afterthought? You can't. You can't be anything to him anymore because that hurts worse than being all alone.
So you stop calling. You stop texting. And you pray to god that one day you'll stop caring so goddamn much, because it's tearing you apart, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. And his questions if you're okay and his invites will dwindle, until one day he stops trying too.
Then you'll watch his instagram feed. See they adopted a dog. Her birthday post. Their engagement photo. When April 18th rolls around, you scroll through your contacts, finding him. You'll message him happy birthday, and see him start to type back, the little text bubble leaving your stomach in knots, hands shaking when you see...
"Thank you. I miss talking to you"
And you won't respond.
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fea-resources · 6 months ago
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Unhinged Game Commentary As RP Starts Pt.5
Time for Dick Shots.
_____ is just a butt. He's a butt.
WE AREN'T DOING THIS HERE.
Are you two talking smack about me just cuz I can't understand ________?
What else are foreign languages good for? Just ask _______.
A lot of shit happened. A LOT of shit.
Its _______. A much happier ________. Also a much taller ________.
RIP ________. Wait. I better not say that.
As soon as that tank pops up I'm just gonna be "Nope, not gonna do this guys, not today."
NOT TODAY.
Not in the stars.
I love this area... up until Furry McFuckGoat.
Who is Furry McFuckGoat?
You'll find out who Furry McFuckGoat is.
You're in for a good time.
Wow, this ice water is so pretty, just... ROLL IN IT. It's just so pretty.
I'm the reason _______ dies guys cuz I gave him hypothermia.
How the fuck--
OH JESUS.
Y'know its a good thing none of these icicles have come off and fallen cuz otherwise you'd get skewered all to hell.
There it is, I KNEW it.
Across. Across?
ITS NOT ACROSS.
I Tarzan'd my ass right down the chasm.
Was that Furry McFuckgoat?
They're coming. Soon.
o h g o d.
*sings* More water that's cold as Hell~ HYPOTHERMIA~!!
HEEEEY. THERE THEY ARE.
Nope. Stay away from me. I don't wanna get hit.
OH GOD NO JESUS--
*sings* Get the Hell away from meee--*squeals* NO.
Oh dear lord-- I GOT STUCK.
DIE. PLEASE DIE.
MEMO TO ME. MEMO TO ME. DO NOT GO INTO THAT CORNER.
AH--
SWEET JESUS CHRIST.
*gasps* you'RE A DIIICK.
ANGERY GOAT MAN.
OOoooh my god. My chest hurts. From the panicking.
SO ANGERY GOAT PEOPLE.
We can look at how weird they are-- ...okay, I'm gonna look at how weird they are by myself then.
Guess we're gonna meet the whitewalkers, guys.
...'til you died to dead.
What if the ________ had like secret vaults or whatever that were insanely complicated to get into like this?
Nah he got them magnificent rabbit legs. He Jomp.
________, its time for you to learn an important lesson on being a ______: Hardcore Parkour.
Today is the day you learn to fly, boi. Go.
"Learn how to fly, boi." Wow, is this Lord of the Rings?
WOOOW okay, I don't know how that happened but I'm gonna take it.
RIP _________. May he forever grace the afterlife with his vibrating.
Yeah, there's the fun way out of here.
Furry McFuckGoat brought his friends.
Yank that motherfucker!
JEEESUS WHERE THE SHIT-- WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM.
I-- somehow avoided that.
Theeey'rre heeerrreee. Angery goat people.
Death by Dickshot.
You missed Furry McFuckGoat, but not the ________.
Tanks for the heads up~ *wink wink*
Wanna know what I did all day today? Too bad because I'm gonna tell you anyway.
HQ to ______ -- HQ to _______ -- we have lost contact.
You're not fancy.
Fucking twirl!
Took that like a champ!
FuCK. I dropped the gun that I didn't want to drop.
Wow, you had to throw the gun that way?
Are you dead?
Peek your head out. I'm pretty sure you're still alive.
FUCKING EAT IT, SHITHEAD.
Wow, that was a fucking wake-up call.
NO, BYE, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ALIVE.
Thanks for the grenade, I need it a lot more than you.
OVERSHOT IT, but whatever, so long as you die. Byye.
Are those bullets? yeeeah. Are those grenades? YEEEAAAAH.
WHO-- WHAT--
NO, YOU SEE THIS SHIT THROUGH TO THE END.
ZIG ZAG.
Oh... I don't like that metal on metal sound.
I think that was a kidney shot, I'm not 100% sure.
Oblivion. You're going to oblivion.
Wrong game.
ROLL. ROLL A LOT.
God damn, I do not appreciate being shot at.
Come on, I would think RPG is fucking universal language! do you have an RPG?!
Watching ______ shoot people is like watching them play duck hunt. (Insert annoying dog laughter at every miss)
Was that overkill? Maybe. Do I care? No.
AAAAIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
ZIG ZAG TIME.
FHAAAK MY LIFE YOU ASSHLE.
Its a tank, how scary can a cow on wheels be?
Hijack it. Hijack it and conquer your fears.
He went places.
RPG? PLEASE? RPG. GUYS.
RPG! NOPE. Its mine now.
Yoink.
Dramatic ass death. Clutching his chest as if he just got dumped by his baby blue.
Nice shooting, Tex.
Okay, he died. That's great.
Gottarun gottarun gottarun gottarun gottarun.
Its only death, _______, walk it off.
Oh, wanna know what I learned about myself yesterday? Too bad again because I'mma tell you anyway -- again.
How to kill an edgyboi trying to be an asshole in less than 3 seconds -- not take his insult as an insult.
OO-- AA--
We were beginning to think the 8 year old went feral and ate you.
Hey you never know. He might just do it one day. Children are statistically more likely to eat you than an adult.
Children are scary things.
I can believe it.
The entire time they were eating your fucking organs everyone else would be saying "AWWWW SO CUTE".
C A R N A G E.
Married people are wild, man.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WANNA DO THIS TODAY, I mean... first the tank, and then the cars, although the cars... I just... fucked them up. Just fucked them up, right off a cliff.
The couch is trying to eat me.
Oops-- YOU DIDN'T SEE /SHIT/.
Just threw ______ off the side of the cliff.
Took him out Achilles style.
Dodged that by the hair of your balls.
Let me see if I can... shove you... BYYYEEE.
I'm a vindictive bitch.
Bury him in the abyss.
Sounds like an old lady farting.
Goodbye to your legs.
Peek a boo with guns.
I would really appreciate it if someone would give me a grenade.
Man, he's rolling over there trying to be fancy. You're not fancy.
WOOOO, MAN, SHIT, FUCK.
You trying to gunslinger me? Heeellno.
Fancy feet.
Don't be like fancy feet, be an elite.
WHY ARE YOU ALL SO CLOSE TO ME.
No, stay your asses on that side of the bridge.
Stop giving me heart attacks over here, I don't need them.
Man, let me tell you, I would'a ended up throwing that up and I would've ended up throwing it behind me.
Did we say rope? We meant hope, as in an intangible thing that doesn't exist.
That went dark.
Not nearly as dark as my outlook on life. Or as dark as my prospects of a future. But who needs tomorrow?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO THROW MY GRENADE, WHAT.
There it go. Nyoom.
The void appreciates your contribution.
I'M STILL SO MAD ABOUT THE FUCKING GRENADE.
Look at them flappy flags -- how they so flappy? It cold as fuck.
Subtle? What's that. I don't know what that is. Not now, not ever.
The only thing subtle here is your ability to shoot everyone in the goddamn dick without even trying.
LISTEN, leave-- leave my aim out of this.
I will leave your aim out of this when you stop handing out dick shots like Halloween candy.
I believe I can flyyyyy.
Launch backwards.
Come here guy. Come hereee.
Bye. Jackass.
Maybe I should keep the SASS.
"______ you were supposed to be subtle." There was nothing subtle about this shit.
There was no reason for the yoink.
Drop down ______, Jesus, why did you have to be ExTRA.
Unfortunate. My jokes will be less appreciated due to ill timing now. Truly a tragedy in three parts. 
Everyone named ______ is Extra.
Today you taught that man an important lesson... a lesson in flight and physics. And that lesson is that people can't fly.
Well I shot him in the dick and it might've been just a little too on-point.
Long Time No Fuck My Life.
hSSSSSSSSSS.
It didn't let me-- crap that time.
SHOVE THEIR CORPSES INTO THE ABYSS. AS VENGEANCE. THEIR SOULS CANNOT ASCEND. LET THE VOID CONSUME THEM.
You jinxed it.
I hate you for having that fucking good aim.
If I heard that in my last seconds of life, I would resurrect just long enough to kick them in the balls so goddamn hard they'd invert into a Y and never return to normal.
Mmmm gratuitous ass shot.
Where is the dragon sniper because I really, really, really would like to have it right now.
I wouldn't mind getting shot by you in real life as long as I got to hear some of this quality commentary before dying.
I think ______'s just a lil bitch and died of a splinter. Can take a hole in the liver but not a splinter. Anything but a splinter.
You said no -- but mommy said yes.
Better not-- Better fucking not!! ...Okay.
WHY IS THE BRIDGE JUST NOW BREAKING.
PLOT INCONVENIENCE.
Come on _______, squirrel your fucking way up there.
The amount of splinters...
Them pants are tighter than they are thicc.
YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING YOU NEED A GRENADE, BUT WHEN THEY OFFER IT YOU'RE LIKE "Naaaaah".
(blu q. kazoo voice) SUSPICIOUUUUUSSS.
Hey ______... what brings you here... behind this crate?
That gasp of realization was the best.
No, that "FRUCK" was the best.
Heeeey did you drop your gun? No you didn't, you're an asshooole.
The eight year old ate them.
They got V O R E D.
Get outta here with that.
Gonna replace the word bored with vored now just for the fuck of it.
DICKSHOOOT. It was on purpose.
I need a word for dick that rhymes with shot.
Because that's average. Everyone expects "cock shot" but who's gonna see "shlort shot" coming?
I'm shlort sighted.
You killed me the last time and I did not appreciate that one bit.
If you're going to be launching 'nades, you gotta expect to get shot in the nads by the one and only vibrating Nate.
I'd be vibrating too if I was being shot at all day, my fucking nerves would be fried.
I did not like that-- that-- that was not cool.
I didn't see the rope and I thought you finally launched yourself. I was proud but also upset because that seemed like the most disappointing launch.
YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY, RIGHT ROUND, LIKE A RECORD BABY--
Twirl hunny twiirl.
Can't believe I wanted to hang with someone who can't even appreciate Skyrim Shuffle. What a disappointment of a stoner.
Just dies and flips into the void.
New test on anyone who wants to be my friend -- has to appreciate the Skyrim Shuffle.
I wanna die that way. Just be staring into the void debating my life, then suddenly "Bye Bitch". I'd start laughing. I'd die laughing before I hit the ground.
I'd die laughing on a roller coaster if my organs weren't shoved into my throat.
Prepare to be Swiss'd.
Are you firing stink bombs?
Shot his ass off. Literally.
NOPE. Get shredded.
BABY BELL IN THE HOUSE, BITCH.
A WHITE PERSON WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE CHEESE? DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT BABYBEL IS.
Have you ever had double cream brie with black truffles? THEN GET OUT OF MY FACE, CHEESE HEATHEN.
That wasn't the ________ sound. That was the Furry McFuckGoat sound.
That's a god damn butt plug. A very sharp one.
Smooth things over with him via a shot in the back of his goddamn skull.
I slipped and it fell into the void. That's what you tell them.
I don't think they can use the void as an excuse.
IS THAT A PIG ON FIRE?
We've established that he likes me better than you.
God that'd be a great way to go...  direct hit with an RPG. Just... feel something whack me in the back then KABOOSH.
Your bullet count was 69 there for a moment and that was pretty rad.
I'll boost you! Off the side of a fucking cliff.
Oh look -- its a life-sized statue of your ego.
Prepare yourself. You're about to get one of your many wishes.
Vore? Are you sure its not vore? That's a lot of mouths.
No its Furry McFuckGoat and his friends.
I'd SCREAM OF JOY IF MY THROAT WASN'T FUCKED.
You just got pounded by a furry. How you feel about that?
Just getting straight up gangbanged here.
I'd kill him so he didn't get the satisfaction of seeing it all. DIE, CURIOUS HOE.
I am a far bigger dick than the Russian.
Good aim for being stiff.
They're fucking dead and still better at aiming than you.
_______ WAS beautiful, til ______ ruined it.
There's always time to sight-see, you stupid slut.
Catch me enjoying the scenery outside the vehicle of my killer's vehicle. Catch me asking if we can stop and get a slushie at this nice slushie stand before I die.
He's a Russian -- he's already immortal.
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