#god now im starting to sound like clown

[pulsedmaggot]

what if you always knew your parents didnt love each other and only stuck around through snide glances and trips to school. what if music took up all your time and what if no matter where you looked you didnt see yourself. what if you roamed through graveyards and nevermade bands until one stuck, until one scene stuck, totally out of your comfort zone and different from everything you knew. what if the first guy who wanted you back wanted to leave your scene in a sweltering pit of nevermade bands. what if he wanted you by his side while he did it. and then what if he decided he didnt want that anymore. and then what if he decided he wanted it again. and again. and then what if he decided that he didnt want to anymore. and that he didnt want you back after all. and what if he was him

[dannyphantom-zero]

Doctor Danny chapter 4

Ice cold water splashed on Danny's face, soaking his hair. Danny woke up blearily wondering when his roof had started leaking.

He opened his eyes hand almost gagged . He was met with the exact person he wanted to chew apart.

Jason was running across building at top speed. Danny's apartment was a wreck and he was nowhere to be found. Jason had only looked away for a few hours, who knew Danny would be targeted already.

Well there was the News that had displayed him the previous day.

"Wakey wakey hero"

Danny squinted as his vision became clear.

"A clown?"

"I saw your little show and decided to break out of Arkam sooner just for you. It's my turn to put on a show now"

Danny wanted to strangle him right then but there were people around. Well they were just henchmen, if he knocked them out then they would see anything.

More importantly he had a few ideas on how to handle the joker.

"Put on a show, how about I do to you what you have done to countless of my patients" Danny threatened glaring murderously.

"Patience, I'll kill you after I tune in out friends"

Danny rolled his eyes. Back in the cave Batman had received an alert that Joker had broken out of Arkham.

Apparently he had kidnapped a prestigious doctor too.

"Incoming video call" the bat computer alerted.

The screen went black for a second before a smiling joker appeared in front of the camera.

"Hello batsy"

"Joker" batman growled.

"My friend here-"

"Shut the duck up! We are not friends GOD!"

Batman was taken aback.

"I'm going to beat the everloving hell out of you!" Danny shouted.

"He's cranky, I'm going to kill him slowly, break his resolve-"

"NOT BEFORE I BREAK YOUR FACE!"

Joker looked seriously annoyed.

"Let's get started shall we"

Joker picked up a crowbar.

"Remember this batsy, this should be so much fun. I just love reunion's"

Joker smiled before turning away from the camera.

"Joker!" Batman shouted from the other end of the screen.

Joker raised the crowbar and brought it down crushingly hard into Danny leg.

Batman waited for the screaming, but it was silence.

"Oh my bad, ~ow that hurts so bad~" Danny mocked.

He had phased out of his bindings and was now standing off to the left of joker.

"What- how did you get over there?!"

Danny gave Joker a sadistic grin.

"I'm a doctor Joker, I don't kill, but I did promise someone that I would tear off your arms if given the chance" Danny said as he rolled up his sleeves.

Batman was frantically trying to find them before the good doctor did something he regretted.

"Get him!"

Danny smiled and took on the henchmen, knocking them out quickly.

"How in the hell?! Just how weak are those stupid-"

A punch to the face caught off Jokers words.

"Hey joker, buddy. It's time I break you, permanently"

"Wha-" screams of utter agony filled the room.

Jason had found the building joker was holding Danny. He hadn't started to worry until he heard screaming.

Jason ran as fast as he could. The sight he was met with was not what he was expecting. Joker was laying on the ground with his arms bent in ways they were not meant to bend.

"No,no wait, Im sorry for kidnapping you AAAAHHH"

There was a satisfying crunch sound followed by a pop. Danny turned his head sensing another presence.

"Oh hey!"

"Hey?"

Danny had his foot on Jokers back.

"I was just teaching him a lesson" Danny said with a shrug.

"But his arms are still attacked to his body, I thought you said you were gonna rip them off"

"Well I mean, I broke most of his fingers, hell probably need crutches to walk right after this anyway"

"MY LEGS ARE FINE" Joker shouted from the floor.

Danny shoved the crowbar through his leg.

More screams followed.

"Like I was saying, he's gonna need help walking, hey Hood?"

Jason tilted his head, "hm?"

"I'm not going to jail for this right, it's definitely self defense right"

"You'll be fine, I mean, you might wanna get out of here though. The bat daddy is on his way"

Danny nodded glumly.

"I want to make something clear" he said crouching down to the half conscious Joker.

"I'm not proud of what I did today, but I can't stand by and watch you kill or injury any more people. You, will never touch another person again or I will come back for you"

His tone was more menacing than he realized and the Joker was terrified.

"That's the dude that killed me"

Danny whipped his head around.

"What?! He's the one who beat you death with a crowbar?!"

Jason flinched.

"Sorry, I know that not a comfortable subject I shouldn't have brought it up"

Jason shook his head.

"It's not you who should feel sorry right now"

Danny grabbed the crowbar and Jason had to take it from him.

"Your not killing anybody today Doctor. You still have patients waiting on you"

Danny sighed.

"Alright, let's tie him up and get out of here then"

"What?" Jason asked. He wasn't sure why Danny was thinking about him.

"Well I'm not gonna leave you here to face off with Batman"

"Too late, both of you better start talking. Now" an intimidating voice ordered.

Danny half near jumped out of his skin.

"Um hey bat-babe. See, my friend here and I were just passing through and we'll be on our way now. Bye"

Jason grabbed Danny and shit his grapple hook at the nearest window.

Danny was pulled into the air, gliding as Jason swung. They landed on the nearby road and didn't stop running.

They crashed at Jason's place instead of Danny's.

Danny was out of breath by the time they reached Jason's apartment door. Once he was inside he fell the the ground laughing.

"Hahahah, I can't believe you did that!" Danny cried out as he tried to breathe.

Jason took off his helmet.

"Really? Well best believe it because Batman is a hard nut for sure. Your gonna be on his wanted list now"

Danny's laughter was cut short. Jason turned and saw tears.

"Danny? What's wrong?"

"I can't go to jail Jason! I'm too young, I have my career and I'll be targeted for my good looks!" Danny sobbed.

"Your not going to jail" Jason said sitting down in front of his couch next to Danny.

"And if the bat come for you I'll wrestle him alright"

"Mhm"

Jason stared in front of him.

"I don't think Joker will be able to hurt anyone for a long time, you did something amazing Danny. Your amazing you know that"

Silence...

"Danny?" Jason peeked around Danny's shoulder to see Danny's head slumped down.

He smiled to himself, today had been a hectic day especially for a civilian.

Danny twitched in his sleep. Jason picked Danny up carefully and laid him on his bed before turning him in.

Danny woke up the next morning on the floor not sure where he was.

Flashbacks of yesterday popped into his head without permission. Joker, Batman and...Jason!

Danny sat up and saw the mess he had made of Jason's bed. Everything was pulled off the bed, nothing survived Danny's late night wrath. Danny worked quickly remaking the bed with help from his skills earned during his intern days.

He only considered it finished once there were no wrinkles too be found.

"Hah, I need some water" he muttered before making his way around the unfamiliar space. On his way to the kitchen he spotted Jason on the couch.  His arm was thrown above his head and the couch looked entirely too small for the man.

"Pfft"

Jason opened one eye.

"Are you laughing at me?"

"Noo, I just noticed how manly you look today"

Jason sat up.

"Yea alright wise guy"

Danny was about to make a wise crack when his eye caught sight of the clock.

"OH MY GOD!" he shouted horrified.

"I don't report to work yesterday!"

Jason grabbed the panicking man.

"It's ok, I called the hospital and explained that you were in danger. They took a little to convince but I managed to get you the day off"

Danny almost fainted.

"I can't take a day off! What about the patients??"

Jason sat Dany down and kneeled before him.

"Do you not have faith in your fellow doctors?"

"I-I do"

Jason nodded.

"Danny, all you've been doing is looking out for your patients. In order to care for them you also need to be healthy"

"I'm healthy, look at me, I have muscles" Danny said jabbing his arm as if to prove it.

"I see that" Jason said unimpressed.

"But I'm talking about mental health. Take a day and just let someone else take care of you"

Danny scoffed.

"Yea right, like who?"

Jason smirked.

[azriaann]

ok wait… i just read the newest 100yq chapter… guys hear me out something is in the air… (i’m a clown and freaked out because i thought natsu popped up in lucy’s fight because he was worried about her. that was not the case and now i look foolish)

but i literally cannot wrap my head around Why they decided to split up. i love lucy and she’s such a bad bitch who can absolutely handle herself but in what world can that girl defeat a dragon god on her own. ITS SO DUMB????? why would natsu and wendy not split up into little battalions and idk grab the other dragon slayers from around the continent😭 feels like a big enough “avengers level threat” that they should be allowed to briefly break the contract.. but no! dumbass #1 was like ok guys let’s split up! and every mature person in the group was like ok sounds like a solid, well-thought-out plan! what is happening.

i will also never be able to understand the point of brandish wanting aquarius’ key. like sure, she was important to your mom, but i feel like, objectively, aquarius has had a much more tangible and everlasting presence in lucy’s life, to the point where it makes no sense for brandish to take that away from her😭 why would she not just settle for visiting lucy and aquarius????! that literally makes wayyyy more sense, like obviously lucy would be absolutely willing to make that happen??? it’s just goofy to me. BRANDISH DOESNT EVEN USE CELESTIAL SPIRIT MAGIC.

made me laugh when brandish mentioned natsu😭 like yeah where is ur boyfriend lucy???!! feels ooc that he would willingly split up with her everyone when so much is on the line (even if i still think the stakes are too low for a properly compelling narrative). like you’re going to look me in the eye and tell me that the mf who trained for a year to make sure that he’d be able to protect his friends with his strength is ready to split up and allow them to fight battles that they are grossly unprepared for WHEN THEIR MAGIC WONT BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING!??? don’t even get me started on wendy’s dragon slayer insignia shit (which just completely undermines dragon slayer magic in general… because it’s uniqueness is why it was so special in the first place!? but i digress). and yeah whatever maybe he just fully trusts their ability to handle themselves, and im hypocritical because it also does bother me that he always takes the forefront in group fights, but somehow i feel like this is different.

i do like the choice to have lucy in mortal danger and then cutting to natsu. idk if they intended for it to be the way im understanding it, but im a sucker for that kind of dramatic irony😁 hey buddy ur gf is in trouble! but you have no idea because ur an idiot who decided to split up! sigh. anyway i feel like this chapter was pretty good and i have not been able to say that for Months😭☝️ so yay!

[submariini]

Thee Antwerp Gig Overview (by #5)

me and @jeevm arrived around 7:50am at the gig, numbers 4 and 5 bc belgians simply are not a queuing people. not much happened beside chaotic uno and trix doing a short interview with us seven? i think at that point i forget

the bus arrived a little before ten am, and we were allowed to sit inside at that point so we just all went outside again and just stood there for a whole ass three hours being clowns.

jaakko, jukka and jesse walked by a few times entirely undisturbed bc belgians also do not talk ever. (and dutch ppl ig). respectful times.

eventually, at around one, Häärijä got off the bus (mostly as a distraction for K going the other way). This man came by like proper we thought he was gonna just walk by, but he waved and then decided to ignore everyone and beeline straight into my direction for a hug? hello? unsure how he still knows what i look like (was not in the yellow tshirt yet bc cold and he hasnt seen me since simerock).

K and Jesse came by as well -- please note at this point there were like goddamn 40 people there. Nothing like the Munich papal visit scenes at any point.

K just the nicest. Didn't remember me from simerock (fair, it was a factory of photographs) and was like wtf rollo (as per ushe), complimented my boots bc he likes them (they are r+ but usually kids sizes) and i got to be "mean" abt the r+ ticket sale and the bus making it stressful. When he asked it I wanted him to sign anything, I didn't have anything and he just offered to sign my boots? Man did not expect the clown to clown communication that was happening bc he seemed very oh god for real when I agreed.

Someone gave him a necklace and instantly wanted to put it on. The person who gave it couldn't fasten it bc nails/shaking hands so I offered to try and then idk how it got fastened bc christ I shook as well. Not helpful: Mikke both filming that and the boot signing up close 😭

Told Jesse he told me at simerock that I should just join the tour bus and he went "yeah that sounds like something I would say." then scolded me for not having been in Berlin for that 😭

H wandered back and forth a bit, had another weird football chat (rip hazards career) where I was sitting on a little wall, back to the bus still at that point, and he just leaned into me turning around and just held my shoulders the entire time? When I got sweaty and took my hoodie off later he also suddenly grabbed my tshirt when it was riding up I am Feeling Fine.

Was wearing the yellow tshirt w the cross stitch and he made me turn to show Jesse??? And Jesse did the nicest "wait can I touch this?" bc I guess he thought it would be fragile???

People formed a nice selfie line and K just said he's santa claus 🎅

H vanished, then came back out of the bus, and we had a weird mime moment bc I wasnt sure if he was motioning at me to get to him away from the rest. He was and I got fucking free merch??? Like free, not yet available merch. Genuinely what the FUCK. Im making an extra post abt this most likely bc I cannot explain what the hell happened in that moment and the things around it.

When Mikke did the interview w the first queuer, H just stood behind the glass door into the venue and started miming at us. Like not even properly in character? Help.

Gig

Jesus Belgian audiences proving once again we just Are like that. Refusing to goddamn shut up. Every time. Man disallowed to banter by loud belgian screaming. He seemed so touched though jesus christ time to cry

Got roasted for basically slut dropping and shooting my Häärijä sign up in the air before Mic Mac. "yes that mean fucking häärijä" local man fed up w my antics.

Got roasted AGAIN straight after Mic Mac because I was the person he pointed at during the "this is your home now" bit. (promptly decided diving behind the barrier and Face In Hands was the best reply)

Mild bit before the 2nd Cha Cha Cha as I was the front row person he called out for not sitting down. Just yelled that I got bad knees and I'm not sure anyone caught his reply properly 😂

Overall 10/10 excellent gig what the HELL. The belly flop on the balloon, the whole banter before paidaton bc so much of the queue ppl I was with took their shirt off, the way we refused to kept chanting, him trying to eat the bubbles, him talking about Hs dick and the whole balls convo??

Post Gig

Had to pick up merch for a few people, so went with the hope of a third Häärijä hug. He eventually got a bit held up outside of merch by people (lit at the door into the merch room) and I got to just "Sorry it's me again" but he just instantly hug. We talked a little about the gig (did I like it, how I was doing) and like K feeling much better/doing better ft. some dumb crap.

Merch was in fact gotten after I just LOST my friends bc of H.

CANNOT wait for London. and Glasgow but thats with normal people. Like met so many fun people in the queue who are going to be at London jesus christ. Party time.

[stars-n-spice]

Thoughts on s3 Ep06!

Going to make this quick and will probably be shorter than others because I have fuck awful memory and even though I literally just saw the episode, I watched episode 7 right after and so that's fresher in my mind bUT

Spoilers under cut-

As always, these are not coherent thoughts or in any order of the episode and what happened in it

CHUCHI MY BELOVED MY QUEEN I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE HER AGAIN!!

And I was surprised to see the Raxus Senator again, it really does seem like they're trying to tie up all the loose ends so now I wouldn't be surprised if that Bennie (?) kid shows up again or something

Felt like a fucking clown when I was like "Oh that's Tech, that's so Tech" the entire time during the beginning of the episode only for it to not be Tech

Howzer <3

I completely forgot about what happened between Howzer and Crosshair on Ryloth so I was like,, "Why the fuck is Howzer being so aggressive?? I don't remember Howzer being so aggressive??" and then I was like, "oh yeah,, nvm-"

I just keep loving Crosshair more and more with every episode,, Force help me

OMEGA MIMICKING CROSSHAIR WITH THE TOOTHPICK?!?!? SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

Captain Rex my beloved <3

He looks so funny without his pauldron thingy

ALSO

I could nOT sit still the entire time I was watching these episodes,, I was watching it like how Asian dads watch TV,, like right up in front of the tv and whatnot

It was also because it was dark as fuck and I couldn't see SHIT because my tv kinda sucks but I was standing for pretty much the entire time

Then when Wrecker appeared I fell to my knees

I'm going to be thinking about him petting Batcher for a long time-

OKAY BUT WHEN HUNTER SAW OMEGA MIMICKING CROSSHAIR AND HE HAD THE FAINTEST SMILE ON TOP OF THAT LOOK OF CONFUSION??

Also I love Echo so so so so much,, when he gave her that modified crossbow and told her to keep the others in check?? :(( mom,,

"they don't look happy to see us...just like old times huh?" WRECKER omfg,,

also that clone assassin is so tech right?? like,, that's Tech yeah?? even with the voice thingy he sounds like Crosshair kinda and in the previous episode Crosshair had a moment where he sounded like Tech so like,, that's GOTTA be him

Aaaa,, when Howzer starting coming for Crosshair and Wrecker looked about ready to square up in the background,, and then Hunter defending Cross later, ack ack ackk

CONFIRMATION THAT CROSS WENT THROUGH WITH THAT TRAINING BUT HE'S TOO "SEVERE AND UNYIELDING" SO IT DIDN'T WORK AAAA

at that point i'm kinda surprised they kept him alive?? but still-

i really thought Rex might know what 'M-count' was when Omega mentioned it since he was around Jedi but I guess not??

that entire conversation I was chanting, "Talk to Ahsoka, talk to Ahsoka, talk to Ahsoka"

dude when the fucking,, when (i'm going to call him Tech) when Tech just fucking SNUCK in and was like RIGHT there,,

FUCK that entire,, ugh when he called to report he found Omega I was just like,, "Oh they fucked up so badly. So badly"

EVERY EPISODE HAS ME FUCKING TERRIFIED ABOUT OMEGA BEING TAKEN AWAY AGAIN

the,, the conversation between Crosshair and the clone assassin,,

Cross,,, dude,, what,, what are you hiding man?

Fireball :(((((((((

UGHH

then Tech got fucking crushed by all those rocks and I was like,, "Okay, so maybe he ISN'T tech," but then,, fucking episode 7 changed that-

ALSO ALSO!! SHOWING THE CLONE BASE,, WITH THE FUCKIN,,, WITH THE FUCKING CLONE THEME IN THE BACKGROUND AGUUGHHHEHEUUHHHGHHH

AND THEN WOLFFE AT THE END??? THANK THE FUCKING FORCE THIS WAS A TWO EPISODE RELEASE DAY FUCK

OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU COMMANDER

FUCKING

AAAAAA

anyways,,

im so normal about this show :)

[totallynoteggos]

lol hey this is just a vent post abt my life rn I don’t really expect any on u to read this

Tw if you do read this: talk of Anxiety, ppl not understanding neurological limitations, talk of vauge self exit and SH (its very minor) overall vent post shit

Sorry u have to see me in such a shifty mental state but I need to get this off my chest before I resort to violence

Once again, not KND stuff this is a Vent Post

I’m not neurotypical by any means I'm on some spectrum but all we know so far is that I have OCD and Anxiety. Also I'm going into the 9th grade which that In of itself is a stressful situation but in the last four years I've never stayed in the same school so seeing the same people is hella new to me. I have this really bad habit of going no contact with people after the school year is over because I usually never see them again. My mom can't seem to understand that there are simply things I can't do because of the anxiety & OCD (and I'm not using this as a reason to act out or defy her) abt 2 weeks ago we went to get food, now usually I order my food to make sure I get what I like and not have a mixup. And pls notice this was after a week long “vacation” that ended up being stressful and draining. But anyways there was a mixup and I ended up with a burger with all toppings instead of plain, which caused me to panic because I was hungry and stressed before already. And instead of trying to accommodate she stood firm in her beliefs that I need to get over it and just eat the damn burger. And I heavily insisted on not eating it and eating the fries instead. After a argument (and at the instance of my grandma) she bought me another burger and while in line I told her outright that there are some things that I physically can't do or else they send me into a panic. She that said that she “gets that” but I don't have to act out In front of my grandma which she idolized. And now like I said with the whole start of school she's saying “it wont be your best years if you don't let it be your best years” but I don't think she understands that I don't know how to do that. I've moved around a lot and I've been made fun of a lot due to my interests, hobbies and simply just to be the clown. Most of the people I befriend end up getting annoyed or just keep me around until I say something that doesn't make me the dumb and “quirky” one. And like I said I suck at keeping contact and now everyone still has their old friend groups and mine just see me as a joke or weirdo now. Its stressing me out so much and its only been two days, hell yesterday I would have thrown up from the stress but because I was so stressed I didn't eat shit so I didn't throw up. School stresses me out so much it's unimaginable, its the people, the sounds, the halls, the fact that people won't leave you alone, someone always talking or screaming, just please shut the fuck up so I can learn and be out of here. And god its so fucking hard not feeling what everyone else around you feels. My moms getting upset at me for not wanting to go on the busses when I have gone on one and it left 20 fucking minutes from my house cus the lady was screaming and I got scared as was about to cry. And now she wants me to try again with kids I don't fucking know who some how don't know personal space or manners. And back to the emotions things, why the fuck don't I feel the same as them, god I feel so fucking robotic compared to my mother and everybody else but they also make me feel like a god damned mutt. On one hand they think it's weird that I don't want to talk or to Interact but somehow don't realize that it's their fault I don't want to, and on the other hand whenever I'm upset or angry and actually show it its MY fault. Because apparently since I'm the youngest of my family im supposed to have the personality of pinkie pie and I have no problems. And because I'm quiet, friendly or just shy and I'm supposed to control my emotions because I'm a “young lady”. I've tried talking to my mom about home school because my school has that as a option but she says that I can't hide when she's been doing that too. Sometimes I feel like she cares more for the happiness of those she wants to impress rather than that of her family. But god if all of life feels like this then count me out cus its too much to be alive right now. I think ima take a shot or three of night quill and hopefully sleep until ITs to late to go to school

Goodnight

[sugar-omi]

what are your general thoughts on step 3 baxter bc i was replaying OL1 and i trying hard not to cackle at the fact baxter is 19 years old in like 2016. bc all i can hear is halsey, p!atd, arctic monkeys when i look at him; it's giving tumblr, hot topic, that specific period of alt fashion. like he looks like a k-pop idol, but has a weirdly deep voice and overly formal way of speaking. like that is a rich sheltered gayboy emo nerd, not a suave daddy dom. his ass is grass and mc is gonna mow it. i'm saying i find his whole aesthetic ridiculous even tho i do have a soft spot for his fear of emotional vulnerability.

LMAOOO NO I READ THE HALSEY, P!ATD, N ARCTIC MONKEYS AND YOU LITERALLY DESCRIBED MY MUSIC TASTE IN 2016-18 PLS JUST ADD MCR AND I AM IN RUINS.....

OMG STOP "HIS ASS IS GRASS AND MC IS GONNA MOW IT" PLS I LOVE YOU YOUR /WORDS/ IM ACTUALLY CRYING

honestly the only reason i don't clown him is bc I think him being older is 🥵🫣 but yeah I had to laugh when they called me Pepe le pew and Victorian emo man

I was literally getting ready to go out the one day after playing the dlc, and was trying not to fuck up my eyeliner from laughing bc pepe le pew is abnormally funny n idek what or who that is

HONESTLY I WAS SO GRATEFUL WHEN HE CHANGED CLOTHES

I COULD GET BEHIND THE SHIRT BUT THOSE PANTS.....

take em off

OH NO WHAT DO YOU THINK HIS UNDERWEAR LOOKED LIKE.... ik in step 4 he had fall leaves on his butt but what abt step 3.... im afraid 😟

okay I totally almost forgot your question, thank god I read things like 5 times before I'm sure I'm not missing smth but general thoughts....

well first thoughts was "who tf is this flirting w my man🤨"

now it's "who let this vampire out the house" bc baxter is so pale... pls I feel like if I put a firefly on him he'd burn like?!)!&*!^!??

final thought: "are you still looking to be sandwiched" bc poly cove/baxter/mc sounds PERFECT for all my issues (will never recover from the dialogue being different if you have cove at fond or crush when you start dating baxter.....)

also I'd like to eat him, did I say that alrdy? well I'd like to shrink him n nibble on him

OH MY GOD THATS OFF TRACK OK STEP 3 BAXTER THO. ID LIKE TO GRAB HIS FACE N YELL AT HIM

knowing he's going to break my heart...... pls... 5 moments wasn't enough imma need reimbursement for this heartache

I wanna sneak into his condo and lay in bed w him and make him laugh until he falls asleep n then I wanna wake him up w breakfast and then I wanna go on a lil stargazing date n walk along the edge of the water, the water only touching his feet when the wave goes up shore

n I wanna find all his lil freckles and moles n count them n be all close n tell him he's pretty like the moon and I wanna put on some song idk the lyrics to bc it's some Spanish love song or smth and make him dance w me even tho the most I can do is spin I a circle and circle literally one hip

and I wanna take him on a long drive w his dumb metal music blasting n make him yell it out w me and I wanna feed him his dumb fries w pie or whatever it was and I wanna make him lay in the grass w me and I wanna go build a dumb sandcastle and get him a silly lil toy that's prbly meant for kids n giggle abt it for a stupid amount of time and when we get home laugh abt it some more and i wanna play my dumb instrument and sing him a dumb song n AKAJHAGA I JUST WANT A FUCKJNG COMING OF AGE MOVIE W HIM I AM JAGADFALAH LOSING MY SHIT

okay.

I'm normal 🧍 ... I like this man a Regular amount

[gillianthecat]

I have got to get over my grudge against face filters or face-tuning or whatever it's called when they blur the actor's face so their skin is completely smooth and texture free and very pale and has no dimensionality.

I'm watching Light On Me, and I'm charmed by all the characters, but I keep getting distracted by the fact that none of them look like human beings. grrr. Like, it kind of fits the comic book tropey-ness of the story, but I still would prefer to see their god danged faces.

(Fun fact: Shin Woo's actor's face is the reason I started watching Light On Me in the first place. Kang Yoo Soek has a small part in Beyond Evil, and within a minute of his appearance on screen I was like, who is THAT???👀, and immediately went to MDL to see what else he was in. Turns out he was in a BL! so I decided it was finally time to check this one out. Maybe I'm just resentful about them hiding his face from me. On the other hand, Beyond Evil and Light On Me are from the same year, and he looks a decade younger in the latter, so I guess the filtering helps with that? idk, I'd prefer everyone's real faces. But I realize that with this, as in many things, I am not the target audience.)

My thoughts on Light On Me so far (im on episode 3 oops, actually it was 4): It feels like a high school romance comic book aimed at 12 year olds come to life. Which is not at all a criticism! But the aesthetic—bright, flat lighting, wide open spaces, saturated pastels and primary colors, the aforementioned face filtering—along with the trope filled, bare bones nature of the story give it this artificial feel. I don't read comic books, manga or manwha of any genre, so I could be wrong in this comparison, but it does tell like it exists outside of the real world in the same way that Disney Channel kids shows do (though not in the same world.) The characters, so far, don't feel like they exist outside of the story, not shallow, exactly, just that the rest of their lives and relationships are a vague blur, and the initial conflict—Shin Woo doesn't want Tae Kyung to join the student council!—feels like the sort of artificially induced high stakes of a kid's show. The—gasp—pratfall with a dildo.

I probably sound judgmental, but that's partly because super fluffy shows aren't my thing in general, and partly because I'm in a weird mood right now where even the real world doesn't feel all that real to me, but I reiterate, this is not a criticism. The show is creating a certain feel to tell a certain story, and (so far at least) it's doing it effectively.

And I am intrigued by the story, and the characters! Tae Kyung who has been convinced by the wise teacher to try making friends. Da On, the student president who is so kind and can't say no to anyone. Shiwoon, the class clown who can see what's happening but won't get involved. So Hee, the girl from the sister school, persistent in her three year (!) crush. And of course tsundere Shin Woo, possibly with some internalized homophobia, and who we know, based on Shiwoon's hints and the laws of Romance Tropes, must have a crush on the new boy and can't handle it.

The taundere seme is a trope I love when it works well, and loathe when it's bad, and I think it's working here for me because Tae Kyung is such a weirdo. He's no blushing maiden uke, he's blunt and doesn't care that's he's awkward, and still not sure if he wants to even bother with other human beings. It makes Shin Woo's attraction to him more specific and real, and makes me curious to see how their dynamic develops.

So even though the character don't feel anchored to any reality outside of what we see on screen, in the small slice of a tv world they do exist in they seem complex and worth getting to know.

(They also intrigue me enough that part of me wants to see these same characters and conflicts, but framed in more gritty realism style, like that of Weak Hero Class One. I think there's enough there to make it work! But that's more about my personal taste than anything else.)

edit: not that Weak Hero Class One is exactly realistic. But it's a different kind of fairy tale atmosphere. One that sometimes gets called "gritty realism."

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. HIIII good evening <3 holding microphone up to u. i would love ur scion thoughts post-interlude!! if u have any!! i know u have Opinions on him i wanna know how the redstringing's going!!!!

OH DUDE I HAVE SOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY FUCKING OPINIONS. GOD. WHAT THE FUCK . WAS NOT EXPECTING 2 LEARN THIS INFORMATION WHEN I WAS TIPSY ON CLOWN WINE AT MIDNIGHT BUT ALAS HERE WE FUCKING ARE I GUESS. CASUAL WORM READING EXPERIENCE. FUCK

okay okay okay oka. that interlude was so fucking good it both answered some of my questions and also gave me SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS. as soon as kevin started talking about being the most powerful man in the world i KNEW. i KNEW it was gonna be some scion bullshit. at first i thought it was gonna be like some... witch from beauty and the beast bullshit where he Was Actually scion just. posing as an eccentric homeless guy out of costume. which would have disappointed me i think because i am so dead set on scion Not Being Human.

WHICH. I FEEL SO STRONGLY IN MY HEART THIS CHAPTER SUPPORTED SO WELL. when they described how Simurgh first appeared floating motionless over a city. dude. dude. my first fucking thought with that was "hey that sounds like what people say about scion." he doesnt speak. his face never moves. hes extremely powerful, so far the only person powerful to drive away the endbringers. he's GOTTA be the same type of thing they are. not human, never was human, but for some reason he Looks Human. like... simurgh does too, but shes still huge and has weird proportions and the wings. scion as far as i know is normal sized and looks mostly human besides being gold. i havent figured that out yet

having a LOT OF FEELINGS about . the whole reason scion does what he does is because some miserable man with a heart of gold told him to. side note i reallyyyy really got attached to kevin i liked him a lot :( that brings into question SO MANY fucking things about the endbringers. this is full on mac ghostiezone game theory moment at this point but. i dont know where they came from, but it seems like at their first appearance they were... susceptible to orders? and this just happened to be an extremely lucky right place at the right time moment. I cant even imagine a world where scion wasnt a "hero" and was instead a force of destruction like the endbringers. which brings up the question... did anyone else try to talk to the endbringers at their first appearances? i cant IMAGINE anyone would willingly go near leviathan or behemoth considering their more monstrous dangerous appearance . but what about simurgh? im acting on the assumption that the endbringers are some sort of Creation and i dont know what their purpose is but either option 1: someone DID talk to the other 3 and it was someone with extremely bad intentions and gave them the orders to become what they are now or option 2: nobody said shit to them and theyre acting on base instinct????? idk. im viewing the endbringers more like. animals or natual disasters than anything and i dont know if thats exactly correct to do but its how my brain works. so.

the big difference between them is that... scion acts with a Goal, where the endbringers seem more like forces of nature that dont really act with any sort of. purpose. simurgh is the exception to this though since she went out of her way to obscure the information about power origins from reaching dragon and also the way she acts makes it seem like... she Knows something. i dont know i still have sooo many questions.

im REALLY worried about whats gonna happen now that kevin gave him the new order to kill. im really worried its gonna be like a monkeys paw situation where... maybe one or all of the endbringers will die, but then what the fuck does he do after that. come back to whats her name (is it lisette?) for more orders? theres no guarantee lisette will be anywhere near as. idk. selfless? as kevin? that feels wrong. idk. she seemed scared of that situation and didnt want the responsibility placed on her so what if she avoids it and never gives scion any other orders???? will he just fall back on old programming and start killing other "bad" things???? is THIS how the fucking apocalypse starts. this has gotta be connected to the apocalypse in some way i can feel it in my bones. scion with kill orders makes me feel crazy.

[territorialufo]

i give in can you tell me about that little iphone binch

YESS YES I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT THE LITTLE IPHONE BINCH !!!!!!!!! this is literally just rambling im so sorry. There's a lot of text blocks in the beginning but the end has more pics and silly stuff 

Also ii spoilers but its hard to talk abt mephone without getting into the recent stuff so whatever 

Under cut cause this got. Really long. whoops

Context/background of II/mephone 

“Inanimate Insanity” (ii) is a web animation originally released in 2011, considered the second “major” object show after BFDI. btw an object show is a genre of web series that features anthropomorphized inanimate objects competing for some kind of prize. I am NOT the right person to ask about object shows cause the only one ive ever been invested in to this extent is ii and theres SOO many other ones out there LMAO. Ok sorry i sounded like a bot for a second there JUST PROVIDING CONTEXT!! Inanimate Insanity’s structure is kind of interesting because it starts out as a silly comedy in s1 and most of s2 before descending into a really drama heavy storyline, with tension caused both by mephone’s past haunting him and conflict between the contestants themselves. Then suddenly s2 goes on a four year hiatus and animationepic (main youtube channel) launches s3 with new characters and artstyle, seemingly completely ditching the plot they had in s2??? IM NOT GONNA GET TOO INTO ALL THAT but it all works out timeline wise so its chill the tone switch was just rly funny at the time 😭😭😭 

ANYWAYYYY mephone. Mephone4. Mister phone. Four. The one and only four. MeFon! MePhone4 (parodying the IPhone4) is the de facto host of the in-universe reality show “Inanimate Insanity”!! As the host, he has speaking lines in nearly every episode which is super awesome and epic for mephone4 enjoyers (me). His initial vibe was inspired by Chris McClean from TDI, and was even voiced by Christian Potenza in the first episode before being switched to Mark Katz, who is the father of the creator of II, Adam Katz, which is also pretty cool i think. Since Mark Katz is a grown ass dude, mephone just has. The same voice for like the entire series SHDHF everyone else’s voices are changing and stuff as the creators got older but mephone just sounds like a middle aged man for all of it 😭I love it tho this isn’t a criticism!!! As the years go by it gets more and more expressive :) s1 is. rough. considering it was made by a bunch of kids, its very much a product of its time lol

Lore/character 

Ok lore time cause the thing w mephone is most of his backstory was kind of just hinted at (or implied with the existence of Apple irl). Like in s1 there was the introduction of mephone4s and 5, but otherwise, not much (as far as I can remember. I watched s1 when i was a kid so its been a while lmao). Then there was s2e8 where the contestants go to headquarters and we meet steve cobs (yes, like steve jobs), who’s his creator and dad?? Again some hints are dropped but nothing concrete about their relationship. And then BOOM. SEASON 2 EPISODE 13. “Mine Your Own Business” was my fave II ep for sooo long (idk what my fave is now tbh) cause THE MEPHONE LORE DROP??????? IT WAS CRAZY and also the ending of the episode with fan’s monologue and the soundtrack “shell of a fan” is my fave in the show ANYWAY ANYWAY so begins the remembering of the Horrors. 

He was “born” in Meeple Headquarters, and PLEASE KNOW THAT HE WAS BORN AN ADULT OH MY GOD there are some clowns who think hes literally 14 years old bc thats how old the iphone4 is USE YOUR BRAIN USE YOUR BRAIN AAAAA right so he basically knows nothing about the world, confined to headquarters until his eventual escape. Cobs and mephone have a pretty interesting dynamic, where cobs has most of the power. The way Cobs praises mephone but later shoots him down is so AUHGHGHGH. It’s an oppressive environment he's living in, only expected to do assigned tasks and shamed for any genuine interests, while having the pressure to impress his creator on his shoulders at the threat of being discarded. Mephone grows to hate and fear cobs, but at the same time, cobs is the only person whos known him since the beginning.

The way literally every problem mephone has can be traced back to his origin/how he was raised is so crazy. Like even before the s2e16 twist, it was extremely prevalent??? There are a bunch of analysis posts that explain it way better than I could but MANNNN for a show that the crew started when they were literally 13, they were able to tie things together pretty well, i think! 

It’s been pretty obvious since s2e13 that hosting Inanimate Insanity is just one big escapist fantasy for mephone, one where he is free to do as he pleases while ignoring all the trauma he sustained in “childhood”. Cause it’s implied he escaped Meeple, deleted his bad memories, and then started s1 right after. I mean, it makes sense, since outside of the cold, mechanical nature of Meeple, the only warmth he got was from his enjoyment of reality tv shows. If s1 is an amnesia mephone, and s2 is a spiraling mephone, then I’d describe s3 as “escapism but worse” mephone. It doesn’t ever get as gloomy as s2, but s3 has steady background reminders of “hey guys remember mephone is running away from all his problems right now!!” until it all comes to head in the finale. Some ppl dislike how mephone-centric the show’s gotten, but honestly idgaf more for me

I do want to say that he is very flawed, though. Esp near the beginning, he is really fucking rude and does not respect his contestants at all and frequently belittles them and puts them in mortal danger. he tends to view them and everything that happens to them through the lens of “its just part of the show!!!!”. He tends to brush off everyone’s problems, no matter how serious, even when he’s the one that caused them.

His reality show host personality is all a very big facade to cover up how he feels about the past (thus further submerging him in the fantasy of Inanimate Insanity). Like previous users have mentioned, this is likely due to the fact that he had no one to learn HOW to be empathetic/kind from besides reality television (which is known to be exaggerated for drama) and cobs (who is his abuser) But I famously do enjoy characters who are kind of dickheads, the confidence being a mask is like a tasty bonus to me.

The dichotomy between his arrogant host exterior and paranoid/anxious interior is really interesting and fun to watch. Compared to his relatively sweet/naive beginning personality, it’s wild to see just how much he’s changed since then because of everything that’s happened.  His relationships with the rest of the characters is also interesting, cause despite being their host, he isn’t very close with a lot of them. Other than maybe Bot, who I believe he feels kinship with since they're both robots who freed themselves from the expectations of others. Same with Mepad, since they’re both from Meeple. 

He’s a robot, but in an emotional/psychological sense, is basically a normal person/object (person is synonymous with object in this case). He feels like a person despite being an AI. which makes cobs a lot worse imo, he mistreats all his creations, but at least the other newer mephones are barely “feeling” at all, unlike 4.

Basically, 

Cobs: i have engineered a machine that is functionally a person

Everyone: you fucked up a perfectly good phone is what you did. Look at him. He’s got ptsd. 

Not to get too into ii16/17, but they basically recontextualized the entire series and made what we initially thought about mephone’s escapist tendencies and origins a million times worse. Bro was so tormented he subconsciously made his OCs come to life 😭😭😭all while projecting all his issues onto them??? Psychologically sound individual activities. Additionally, the way he was created is also. Terrible. Cobs basically invaded an alien planet, kidnapped an alien kid, and then presumably used its energy to create mephone4. Outer space colonization? In MY object show? yes!

Ok now im just gonna talk about random stuff i like about him  

His powers are so cool.,.,,. Esp as a foil to cobs/mephonex, who could represent destruction, he represents creation with his generation ability. Also something abt using his powers for non violent reasons when his creation was built upon violence uhh idk. And I think the screen turning green and the sound effect is very satisfying dlsjkfg. Oh and the fact that he canonically had to practice to get better at it? In the flashbacks he’s shown having trouble generating even a simple tree, and now he can make pretty much anything with minimal effort. 

Also MeLife, which allows him to bring contestants back from the dead, is an ability unique to him, which is super cool!!

He can create portals as well and this is never explained. He can just suddenly do it KDLJFGH this kind of renders Mepad’s teleportation ability useless but it's still fun. 

I like when he uses his face as an actual screen :)

Something something robot related stuff

He is not waterproof and will malfunction or even die when wet

His speaking function can be disabled by other people

Glitches while talking sometimes!! Delightful 

Something that gets overlooked often I think is the s1 finale, where mephone4S (mephone4's brother) basically killed himself to save mephone4 by downgrading his own OS. Technically, mephone isn’t even in his original body anymore, he’s inhabiting his brother’s. Fun!

this is unrelated but he got shot in the face with a gun once. there havent been any guns since unfortunately

Get yoinked idiot 

In conclusion, 

I heart him and im sad ii is gonna be ending soon thx for reading

[2dmenenthusiast]

Last Night on Earth Pt. 9

(Ethan Winters x Gn!Reader)

Woweewowwowwow Im so sorry it's been a million years since I posted! But I am back and I hope you like this chapter! Only one more after this and then I'm gonna start on the sequel!

Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

Warnings/other info: Gore, character death (don't worry), description of bones breaking and a lot of other gross stuff

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 Pt. 6 Pt. 7 Pt. 8 Pt. 9 Final

In all the years you’ve been alive, you think you’ve imagined your death about six dozen times. From the days you’ve been in foster care, enlisted in the army, and then up until now, it’s always been a topic that lingered in the back of your brain. Whether it be by your own hand, or some freak accident. You think you’ve doubled those thoughts in the past twenty-four hours alone.

“Chris.”

“Would you just let me check?”

“I’m fine!”

One hand was placed on your shoulder while the other turned your head from side to side, examining the large gash along your cheek from when your mask shattered.

“We almost got blown up, and you're worried about a cut on my face?”

“Your head slammed into a pile of rocks. I’m making sure you’re responsive.”

He held up his finger and moved it in and out of your vision, and you slapped his hand away.

“I’m fine. If I start throwing up then you’ll know something’s wrong.”

You heard Chris sigh behind you as you continued forward, muttering “stubborn” under his breath. Back in the central area of the cavern, you searched through the many pockets on your vest to search for a key you picked up somewhere along the way. You were made aware that there was a room behind the tunneling shield, and it was extremely likely that was the place Lucas was. You couldn’t imagine he had anywhere else to go since you’ve scoured almost every nook and cranny of this cave. And he didn’t leave, either. No, he had no intention of running away when the both of you were still alive. He was waiting for you, and you were ready.

“Where the fuck—”

“Did you lose it?”

“No!” 

There was a prolonged silence, the only sound being velcro loudly separating as you frantically searched for the key. Chris sighed loudly, and you let out an “Aha!” whilst you pulled out the small piece of metal and shoved it in his face.

“I do not lose things,” you said, placing the key above the glowing red nose of the clown.

“Uh huh.”

“I put things down in places which later elude me.”

“Oh, jesus christ.”

As soon as you turned the key, the shield began moving forward at a snail's pace, rocks crumbling around it. You briefly wondered if the cave was going to collapse around you. As soon as it stopped, you turned to Chris, and with a dramatic roll of your wrist, you gestured to the stairs leading up to the contraption.

“Age before beauty.”  

You imagined he rolled his eyes at you before moving on ahead without any complaints. You followed him up the rusted, yellow steps, the metal clanging under your footfalls. With Every step, your heart sank deeper into your stomach. You were anxious for all of this to be over, the concept hardly imaginable. Evie was dead, the root of all your problems, but once Lucas was gone, you’d finally be done. There would be no more of the endless torment you had to suffer, no more of your brother’s sick smile beaming down at you as he hurt and tortured you. God, a life without him in it. How fucking peaceful would that be?

The only problem was, you had absolutely no idea of where you would go or what you would do after this was all said and done for. Most of your life has been spent fighting, and the idea of living a peaceful, stress free life almost made you cringe. It was a nice thought; working a nine to five job, coming home to silence, and curling up on the couch with a good book and a drink. It wasn’t you, though. You think you’d go insane if it was.

Would you enlist again? Shit, you don’t even know if they’d let you. You don’t think you could pass a psych eval if you tried. You could always put your mechanic skills to use, your dad certainly taught you plenty. Thinking about it all now, it was giving you a headache.

When you stepped into the tunneling shield, it was completely dark, and you wish your headgear hadn’t been ruined since night vision would certainly come in handy right about now. You’d have to trust Chris to be your eyes for the time being. 

“Oh!” The sound of Lucas’s sudden voice almost made you jump. “You’re both still with us, I see. Very impressive, my friends! Let’s just see how impressive y’all really are.”

The light suddenly flickered on, and you were met with molded creatures coming at you from every direction. You covered Chris’s six while he covered yours, backs pressed together as you frantically shot at the monsters charging at you. Every time you killed one, another would appear in its place. But, they went down surprisingly easy, almost as if they were getting weaker as time went on. Maybe it was because it was Lucas creating them, rather than Eveline.

“Y’all are slowing down. Almost had you that time.” You refrained from rolling your eyes. “Just how much more of this do you think you can take?”

As soon as he was finished speaking, a couple bigger guys came stumbling through the area, smashing objects in their path, and you quickly recognized them as the same type that you and Ethan fought in the barn.

“Be careful, they spit!” you warned.

Right when you said that, a spew of vomit came at you, and you rolled out of its path. This stuff burned like acid, and you weren’t intending on reliving the painful experience. But then you remembered how you killed the one you faced last time, and quickly felt in your pants pocket.

“Chris! Get out of there!”

He watched you pull the pin with your teeth, and threw his body behind cover as you chucked the grenade between the two large monsters. Their bodies exploded like gore filled balloons, and you swallowed back the bile in your throat.

“You okay?”

Chris stood up, seemingly all right, and nodded. That was a relief.

The lights turned off, and you heard Lucas in your ear piece.

“Okay, okay! No more, alright? I don’t have nothing left.”

“That’s too bad. Now tell us where you are so we can fucking end this!” you seethed.

“Listen! I know I’ve done terrible things. Horrible things. I killed your men. I tortured them. Tortured my siblings too. And you know what? I enjoyed every second! Just like I’m gonna enjoy watching you burn!”

Red lights began pulsing and an alarm sounded, a robotic female voice informing you of the time before detonation.

“Oh, I’m really scared now!” you muttered sarcastically.

“You should be! Sounds like time’s running out! Tick tock, y’all. Tick. Tock.”

You spotted a grate in the floor, and used as much strength as you could to pull it up. It wouldn’t even budge an inch

“If you’re gonna kill us, just kill us. But for the love of god, shut the fuck up!” Chris grieved.

You chuckled to yourself and went to the next grate, wrapping your fingers firmly around the bars and pulling. When you heard the metal scrape a bit, you tugged harder.

“Come on.”

As the room began falling apart and flames licked at your feet, you finally pulled the grate up with a grunt and threw it to the side, jumping down after you urged Chris to go first. As soon as the cool cave floor met your hands and knees, a loud explosion sounded behind you, reflecting off the wet stone and heating your back like the sun. The Captain was by your side in seconds, helping you stand straight and checking you for injuries.

“You alright?”

You nodded, brushing him off. “Yeah. Let’s go before he gets away.”

Moving to step past him, you were immediately stopped in your tracks and pulled back by a firm hand on your arm. You sighed, twisting around to look at Chris.

“What?!”

Fingers gripped your jaw and turned your head to the side, the reflective shield of his helmet inching closer as he inspected you.

“Something on my face?” you asked. You were getting more frustrated by the second.

“More like lack of something.”

You shoved his hand away. “The hell are you talking about?”

You felt around your cheek, searching for what he meant, and your eyes widened. Shit. The cut on your face. It was gone.

“Chris, I—”

“How long has this been happening?”

You certainly felt on the spot now. “Uh, right before we fought Evie, I think. I, um… Well—”

“Spit it out.”

You sighed. “I technically died.”

He didn’t speak. You took that as your cue to explain.

“Well, from what Ethan told me, at least. I had this… dream. Or vision, or something. And the next thing I know, I’m waking up and all of my injuries are healed. I had a broken arm that I had reset earlier that night, and when I woke up, it was like nothing had happened to it. I know it’s strange but… I can’t explain it.”

He continued to remain silent, and it was making you nervous. You really wished you could see his face.

“Chris—”

“You need to get out of here.”

“... What?”

“Go. Go back the way we came and get the team to evac you.”

He turned away, and your lips parted in surprise. What the hell was he on about?! You followed him, not satisfied with the lack of explanation.

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“You hid crucial information from me and revealed yourself to be a possible threat. You’re done with the mission.”

“A threat?!”

You stopped in your tracks, but he just kept moving forward, as if his words didn’t have any kind of effect on you. Like you were just gonna lay down and listen like an obedient dog.

“Hey! I’m fuckin’ talking to you, asshole!”

He paused, but still didn’t face you.

“The only threat I am to anyone is my shitstain brother! You think I’d hurt you? Hurt your team?”

When he spun around and got in your space with only a few long strides, it made you take a step back, swallowing the lump in your throat.

“I think you don’t know what’s happening to you, and I think it’s a hazard to not only my safety, but your own. What if you turn into one of those things, huh? What if you mutate into a monster and I have to fucking kill you? Did you think about that?!”

God, you felt like you were being scolded by a teacher. Yeah, maybe you intentionally hid this from him because you knew he wouldn’t let you come. And you couldn’t risk that. You realized it was incredibly selfish, but in the moment, all semblance of safety went out the window when you realized you’d have the opportunity to hunt down Lucas. And Chris was doing a hell of a good job of making you feel guilty about it.

But, among all his ranting, a lightbulb went off above your head.

“Chris, shut up!”

He tilted his head. “Excuse me?”

Your hands came up to grip his shoulders, and you grinned.

“I got the vaccine. Remember? If the infection was that far along, I would’ve died as soon as I got it!”

You were happy about the news, but your emotions didn’t seem to be reciprocated. If anything, the information only seemed to make Chris more confused.

“Then how the hell is this possible? You must have some trace of the mutamycete in you. That’s the only way you could be regenerating so fast.”

You shook your head. “I don’t know. And we’re not gonna know without me being poked and prodded in a lab, which isn’t gonna happen until after we apprehend Lucas. So could we please get this show on the road?”

Chris sighed, pointing a finger at you in a manner of finality.

“No more secrets. Understood?”

You gave him a mock salute. “Loud and clear, Captain.”

“Call me Redfield, for christ’s sake.”

“Could just call you Christopher.”

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”

You smiled, glad to see the man wasn’t always all seriousness. Clearly, under the hard exterior, he was a decent, normal guy.

Who could punch the head off a molded with barely any effort.

As you moved forward and through another door, the setting quickly changed from jagged cave walls to smooth brick. Your coms buzzed with the voice of Veronica, (Chris finally mentioned her name after you referred to her as “the lady with the pretty voice” too many times for his liking.) letting you know that Lucas sent out an email stating your deaths and the end of whatever deal he was involved in. You all surmised it was The Connections, but nothing was certain yet. What you were sure of, though, was that Lucas was a fucking idiot for thinking after all this time, he could kill you in such a shitty way.

Fire? Really? A beheading would’ve been way cooler.

It didn’t take long before the brick transitioned into smooth, painted stone, the cold atmosphere of the hallway you stepped into sending a shiver up your spine. Questions about what this place was and how it was built swirled in your mind. It was like an underground research facility, and the more you searched, you knew that’s exactly what it was. It was so clean it almost made you uncomfortable, and you could feel that something truly awful happened down here. You wouldn’t have such an eerie feeling in the pit of your stomach if something didn’t.

Wandering down the pristine hallway, you stepped into a lab with your gun raised and quickly noticed a couple high regen molded through the glass pane on the other side of the room. You carefully examined an abandoned piece of paper next to a bright computer, and noted that this was where Lucas did his research for The Connections. Searching through the device, you found a note he had written for himself, talking about how he killed all the researchers with the molded and had to hold in his laughs while he watched them die. The sick fuck. He also mentioned potential buyers of the E Series, and you pointed it out to Chris. He talked quietly into his earpiece while you took a shuddered breath.

Shit. How long has he been up to this?

When Chris led you into the contained room, you both swiftly took out the creatures, and noticed the trails and splatters of blood on the otherwise pristine padded walls. You didn’t know what kind of experiments they were doing here, and you didn’t want to know. The possibilities made you sick.

“He’s not in here. Let’s move.”

You held up a hand, wordlessly telling Chris to just wait a second, and picked up a photo next to a set of dolls. It was Mia holding Eveline’s hand. You felt your heart plummet.

“She’s been working with them…”

“Who?”

You spun around and thrusted the photo towards him.

“Mia! She— Fuck, I wanted to give her the bennefit of the doubt, but this? This is fucking sick!”

You dropped the photo and took a closer look at the dolls. They must’ve represented the two. You felt your skin crawl.

“They conditioned Evie to see Mia as a mother figure so she wouldn’t act out as long as she was with her. If Mia kept up with the charade, Eveline’s emotions would remain stable. Shit, and Ethan doesn’t even know! He doesn’t know his wife is a goddamn liar and working with terrorists!”

“Hey,” Chris placed a hand on your arm, trying to get you to come down from your quickly rising anger. “I know it’s a lot to take in right now, but we have to focus. I need you to keep your head on straight for me, alright?”

You gulped and nodded, taking a deep breath to do as he wanted you to. It was crazy to think that earlier you felt some semblance of empathy for the woman, when she was involved in all of this from the beginning. Maybe you didn’t have all of the information, but the current evidence was certainly painting a clear picture for you. And it wasn’t a very pretty one.

You brushed past the man without another word, jaw clenched and lips set in a frown. It was nice to have clarity about certain things, but if you were honest, you were fucking tired of discovering the new atrocities your brother and whoever these “Connection” assholes were committed. It seemed never-ending, like one or ten awful acts weren’t enough. You had stared evil in the face, taken the lives of dangerous terrorists. But nothing compared to the evil that resided in your brother. And you often wondered how he ended up this way. Because your parents were nothing but loving, and you couldn’t remember anything particularly bad happening to Lucas when you started living with them. So, the only conclusion you could make was that he was just born that way. And your parents, as loving and attentive as they were, never saw it. Or, they just pretended not to.

Moving down the corridor, your breath hitched when you spotted the back of Lucas’s grey hoodie on the other side of a glass window. He was hunched over a laptop, furiously typing as he didn’t seem to notice you yet. You experimentally pushed against the mechanical door to the room and met resistance.

“The power must be out. Try to find a switch or something, I’ll keep an eye on him.”

Chris nodded and stepped into the next room branching off the hallway while you watched Lucas intently. You could safely make the assumption that he was emailing his business partners and wanting to part ways. You imagined that was easier said than done.

The power suddenly flickered, and Lucas’s head shot up when the lights in the room turned on. When he finally turned, it was like he saw a ghost. He stumbled back into the desk just as Chris came back into the hall, and with a smile, you pressed your middle finger to the glass.

“I got you now, fucker!”

He took off running in a split second, and you didn’t hesitate to go after him, slamming your shoulder into the door as Chris yelled your name. Your boots squeaked against the waxed floor, and Lucas wheeled a gurney in your path amidst his frantic escape. Using your momentum, your hand balanced on the gurney to help you clear the jump over it, maintaining your speed.

“Shit, shit!”

“You got nowhere to run, Lucas!”

He burst through the door at the end of the hallway, but as quickly as you followed him through it, he had disappeared. You raised your rifle, searching the vast room when Chris caught up to you.

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know. I lost him somehow.”

It was then that his voice spoke through your ear piece.

“How the hell are y’all still alive? You should be dead!”

“We got your emails. We know you’re funneling info to someone.”

Lucas growled. “That’s none of your god-damned business, Chris! A lot of people wanna know about our little Evie. A lot of people.”

“She was a little girl, asshole,” you seethed.

“Do your friends, The Connections know about this? They don’t seem like the forgiving type.”

“That’s my business. You let me worry about them.”

“Won’t have to worry much when you’re dead, then.”

With a scream, Lucas appeared from the shadows like a bat out of hell, swinging a knife at Chris and tackling him to the ground. You ran up to his side and kicked your boot against his shoulder to knock him off, and as he went to raise himself up, Chris put a bullet in his leg while you put one right in his chest.

Of course, it was wishful thinking that that would be enough to kill him.

He writhed on the ground, muttering to himself. “I can’t— I don’t… No, I don’t believe it.”

You firmly placed your boot on his chest and aimed your gun in his face. “It’s over, Lucas. You’re finished.”

He struggled out a laugh. “Oh, you’d love that, wouldn’t you.” You shouldn’t have been surprised, but you couldn’t help the gasp that left you when his features began morphing and his body started melting into black mold. Veronica mentioned something about the infection, but you were too distracted by the current horror show to pay attention.

“Oooh boy! So this is what it feels like.” His voice was deep. Distorted. “I’ve got somethin’ for you, now. You’re fuckin’ screwed!”

There was a firm hand on your arm pulling you back, and you watched as your brother’s body turned into a puddle of black ooze and began creeping up the wall.

“What in the seven shades of fuck…”

The goo settled on the ceiling before it began to produce yellow spores, forming a sac-like structure that began to pulse and leak a viscous, yellowish liquid. From the way you’ve seen your other family members transform, you quickly learned that no evolution from this virus was the same. And Lucas’s definitely seemed to be the most evolved out of all of them.

“So uh… any advice on how we should handle this?” you asked.

Chris reloaded his rifle, making sure the magazine was firmly locked into the gun. “Yeah. Fight like hell.”

Well, you could’ve guessed that.

The sac pulsed violently before splitting right down the middle as Lucas fell out of it. But, he wasn’t Lucas anymore. No, this thing was three times Chris’s size and had sharp points jutting out of its body. It had three morphed faces and pointed teeth. It was a fucking monster. So, yeah. Maybe it was the real Lucas.

“You had to come in here and mess everything up, didn’t you?!” he said.

He swung a long, deformed arm your way and you narrowly dodged it, the heavy mass on the end of it forming a crater where you once stood. His eyes were red and full of fury. But, they weren’t focused on Chris. They were focused on you.

Shitshitshitshitshit!

Chris yelled at you to run, but as soon as you turned to do so, Lucas leapt from his spot and landed right in your path, the ground shaking from the force. You had to strain your neck to look up at his face(s), and god, was it a gruesome sight. You took a slow step back, trying to distance yourself, but you were afraid any sudden movement would make him lash out.

As if you weren’t already trying to kill each other.

“You! Always gettin’ in the damn way of everything!” His claws pierced the cement floor digging up a hunk of rock and holding it over his head. “Folks should’ve sent you back where you came from!”

The rock was sent flying down at you, but another hard force rammed into your side and pushed you to the ground out of harm’s way. Still, Chris’s body slamming into yours nearly knocked the breath out of you.

“Fuck!”

“You okay?”

You nodded, pushing yourself off the ground as he stood up. You were more than okay, because now you were fucking pissed. Over ten years living with this asshole and his only motivation for hating you was petty jealousy? What a fucking crybaby.

Aiming your rifle, a stream of bullets pierced his thick head, and he turned to you with a scream.

“Come on, fucker! You wanna kill me so bad? Then fucking do it!”

He roared, the sound guttural and rough, and moved to swipe a large, clawed hand at you. As quickly as he lashed out, though, he brought his hand back up to his face before it could touch you, shielding it from Chris’s assault. You used the momentary distraction to aim at the glowing, orange mass on his chest, and noted how it caused him more pain. But then he was jumping away from you and screaming about his head, and his ribs and chest opened with a sickening crack to release spores, filling the room with contaminated air.

When he looked down at you, there was a deranged expression on his face. But, when he saw your maskless face and noticed you had no reaction to the spores, his expression dropped.

“What?! Impossible!”

You grinned, and just for kicks, took a deep breath of the air. You then beat your fist against your chest and held out your arms.

“Come on! Hurt me! You wanna see what happens?!”

Your taunting clearly had some effect, because he was charging at you in the next moment, hand closing around your middle and dangling you above the ground. Chris called out for you, and judging by the tremor in his voice, you knew he was scared for you. Maybe even more scared than yourself. But, you’ve stared death in the face, faced more terrifying foes that Lucas wished he was half as brilliant and despicable as. So what reason was there to be afraid?

When he slammed your body into the concrete, the air forced itself out of your lungs as your skull slammed back into the floor and rattled your brain. His grip was so tight he began to crush your ribs whilst blood gurgled in your throat, and Chris’s cries fell on deaf ears as Lucas flung you to the side.

You rolled across the ground and didn’t stop until you hit the wall. The sound of the captain’s rushing footsteps became louder as he came to your side and shielded you with his body, keeping his gun trained on Lucas. Your brother snarled and said something, but you couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in your ears. 

It fucking hurt like hell, searing pain shooting throughout your body as you lifted yourself onto your hands and knees. But as quick as the pain came, it began fading, leaving your insides warm and tingling. Your ribs cracked back into place, the pressure lessening on your lungs and allowing you to take a breath. Despite a mild headache, you felt perfectly fine. Like all you got was a small bump on the head. The ridiculousness of it all made you giggle.

The sound of gradually rising laughter caught their attention, taking a brief pause from killing each other to look at you. When you raised up on your feet, Chris took a step back as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. You should be dead. He watched Lucas crush you like you were a fucking beer can. Yet, here you were, standing on your feet with blood dripping down your face and laughing.

You licked the blood off your teeth and spat it on the floor.

“Is that the best you can do?”

You were rushing forward in an instant, faster than Chris could stop you, and slipped your knife out of its sheath. Lucas went to take another swing at you, but you dropped to your knees and slid between his legs, slicing your knife at his ankle. He cried out and collapsed onto one knee, and you quickly shot up on your feet to jump up on his shoulders.

“Chris!”

The man was alert, waiting for your instruction whilst you shoved your blade into one of Lucas’s eyes over and over again. He screamed, hand coming up to claw at your thigh, but you grit your teeth through the pain and didn’t let up, locking your legs around his neck.

“His chest! Shoot it!”

He didn’t waste any time, sending a barrage of bullets into Lucas’s glowing chest, the orange pustules spurting disgusting liquid onto the ground.

“No! NO!”

With a cry, you lodged your knife deep into his skull, the blade sinking in with a sickening squelch, before untangling your legs from his neck and kicking off his shoulders. You landed— albeit ungracefully— on your feet, and watched as Lucas writhed before collapsing on his back. His skin undulated and whatever disgusting substance he had flowing inside him bubbled to the surface. His ragged breaths were loud, and he almost sounded like he was in pain.

Good.

Your boots stomped against the ground and paused beside him, rifle aimed at his head with a snarl on your lips. His eyes shifted back and forth, and you saw no semblance of the boy you used to know behind them. All you saw was a fucking monster.

“Game over, asshole.”

The single shot that rang out was loud and echoed off the barren walls, his head exploding to viscera at your feet.

He was dead.

And you felt nothing.

You pictured this moment over a thousand times. You imagined there would be this massive weight lifted off your shoulders, and you could live your life knowing you and Zoe were finally safe. But you felt absolutely nothing.

Your gun clattered to the ground, and a rough cry clawed its way out of your lungs. You felt like you were suffocating, desperately clawing at the straps of your vest because god dammit get this fucking thing off of me!

Chris made his presence known, quietly reassuring you and helping you with your vest. The second it was loose, you tore it off your body and took a deep breath, back hunched with your hands on your knees.

“Fuck! Fuck.”

“Hey. He’s dead. You’re okay.”

Your breathing began to slow after a while, and you slowly straightened up to look at the man next to you. He had taken his mask off at some point, and you swore you almost forgot what he looked like. It was refreshing to see a friendly face, rather than the black reflective glass you had been forced to look at for the past however long.

But now, he looked less intimidating than when you first met him. His features were still well weathered and stern, but his eyes were… softer. The crease between his brows lessened just a small bit.

“I’m okay.”

He nodded, lips quirked up in a small smile. “You’re okay.”

“Chris!” Veronica yelled, and you swore you jumped at least three feet in the air.

“Jesus fucking christ!”

“The data transfer’s almost complete!”

You both rushed over to the computer, the progress bar on the monitor almost full.

“How do I stop it?”

“You need to find a way to shut down the server. There may be some transformer relays you can—”

Anything else she wanted to say was cut off when Chris shot at the transformers right next to the monitor, effectively stopping the email from sending.

“Well, that was effective,” you said.

“Yeah. Gonna be some pissed off computer techs here, but—”

“Whatever. What’s the Sitrep?”

“The facility is clear. Even the newer breeds have been neutralized.”

Chris smiled, and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Then we’re getting outta here.”

You returned the gesture, but gasped when you remembered something.

“My sister! Veronica, is she—?”

“She got life flighted to a secure facility where she’s being taken care of, along with Ethan and Mia. Your uncle is with her.”

A puzzled expression took over your features. “Uncle Joe? Damn, can’t remember the last time I saw him.”

“Well then, let’s go. Have a big family reunion.”

You chuckled, following Chris out of the facility. “You gonna join us?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss it.”

[fucktheark]

(some) creepypasta/marble hornets music hcs :)

these are mostly from my own playlist they aren't accurate at all this is just 4 funsies lololol

also i highly doubt anyone will even see this post but if u do drop a song rec plz im struggling finding new music </3

tim (specifically him cs masky is too busy going apeshit 4 music)

old man music but like cool old man music (this is just what my father listens to LOL)

thinks he's got peak taste and snickers at everybody else's song choices

breathe - pink floyd

pet sematary - ramones

the chain - fleetwood mac

aerials - soad

lover, you should've come over - jeff buckley

hoodie

i pulled this out of my ass tbh but imagine 80s fan brian

kinda likes lil peep but would never tell a soul cs he thinks he's too old for it

doesn't rly share his music with anyone bcs he's afraid they're not gonna clown him for it

she's in parties - bauhaus

the brightside - lil peep

the ghost in you - psychedelic furs

messages - a flock of seagulls

hotel california - the eagles (cz y not)

jane

i never rly obsessed over her so this is js based on the vibes i get from the art i've seen of her (so pretty bruh)

echolalia - faetooth

nine while nine - sisters of mercy

closet - fleshwater

engine no. 9 - deftones

frigid and spellbound - spectral wound

nina

no way totally unexpected music

i think eventually she grew out of screamo and scene but never rly let emo go entirely

acid - ghost town

get away with murder - jeffree star (yikes)

what you need - bmth

freaxx - brokencyde (she's been in love with this album since it came out)

vampires will never hurt you - mcr

jeff

i like think that after what he did to his family he just kinda checked out from earth and stopped keeping up with most pop culture, so he's still listening to the same music he did back then.

peak edgy middle schooler vibes

never tires of his playlist

every now and again he comes across something new and gets obsessed with it immediately and probably forever

yen - slipknot

makedamnsure - taking back sunday

don't go - bmth

tourniquet - marilyn manson

crewcabanger - chelsea grin

toby

I-C-P FOREVER WITH THE JUGGALOSSSSSS

still enjoys twiztid even after the beef but secretly because it makes him feel like a poser

also likes jeff buckley but feels kinda cringe for it

the stalker - icp

house of mirrors - icp

my 1st time - dark lotus

2nd hand smoke - twiztid

grace - jeff buckley

liu

same reasoning as jane i know like nothing about this dude and even less about sully so i'm not even gonna attempt .

i fw his vibe tho

eye - smashing pumpkins

the man who sold the world - nirvana

heaven - talking heads

the sickness - imminence (he's gotta be a lil emo come on)

siamese twins - the cure

eyeless jack

this one is kinda hard tbh but considering his hypersensitivity to sound, i feel like he wouldn't enjoy anything too noisy

likes songs with a lot of bass because he can feel the bass reverberating through his body when he wears headphones

soft/airy vocals!!!! he hates screaming

doesn't rly stick with a specific genre just whatever makes his ears tingle lol

a forest - the cure

dark stone - holy fawn

hide and seek #1 - plastic tree

the thing - pixies

collabo - june freedom

BEN

bitch spends so much time on the internet he discovers new music every day

listens to everything but tries to flex the really obscure shit he finds in the depths of youtube (he wants to be cool but it's kind of pathetic.)

his playlist is MASSIVE and a mess, he usually has to skip through half of it before finding something he actually likes

i don't know why but he'd be into haunted mound

plays the majora's mask soundtrack when he can't think of anything to listen to

husqrider - turnabout

fentanylism - opiated devilsperm

starting over - lsd and the search for god

gou zin zan goku - deviloof

ugliest - $uicideboy$

laughing jack

he's old af and probably doesn't get modern music tbh

classical music it is

and opera

i'm not gonna make a whole playlist but he really loves erlkönig because of the story lol

[forcebookish]

i was hoping this ep would finally get people to see topmew for what they are but instead i'm baffled by all the "top and mew were both playing eachother but then caught feelings along the way" takes i'm seeing. based on what? top calling mew interesting and saying he wanted to date him all the way back in ep 2? and don't get me started on people acting like mew was doing something sinister by simply wanting to get to know top before sleeping with him. THATS LITERALLY CALLED DATING!!! like omg i know im beating a dead horse here but i am genuinely so confused by how they are perceived as a couple. is it because they take boston (the #1 manipulator and liar) at face value?? like what is going on here

NOT EVEN EPISODE TWO, ANON, IT'S EPISODE ONE!!!!! he says he wants to date him in episode ONE, asks him out in EPISODE ONE. he calls him interesting three times, and cites it as the reason he wants to date him TWICE.

top and mew even say they like each other!!!!!

literally any character, but especially top and mew, will just express a feeling and there are people in this fandom that will really be like, hmmm but what did he mean by that hmmm🤔🤔🤔🤔

and the amount of weird shit i've seen people say that just... straight up didn't happen? mind-boggling. i once saw someone say that mew "rolled his eyes without rolling his eyes." like, fam, i don't know how to break this to you... but he didn't roll his eyes lmao the other day i saw someone say they thought top and boston were going to sleep with each other again because they 'remembered seeing top open a door and kiss him' in the trailer - this clip does not exist. i saw someone tweet that the fight in episode 6 was the first time that top knew what he did was wrong and people actually retweeted it!! hello!?!????

if i respond directly at all, lately i've taken to asking, "why do you think that?" and then i watch as they scramble to explain it and their whole "theory" just crumbles as they cite stuff that either didn't happen or they deliberately misinterpreted. not that they change their minds when i point that out 🤡 (are they the clown or am i the clown?😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

it's like a mass hallucination. i really need these people to either stop watching or go back and rewatch it from the start without any of their weird expectations about what they think the drama "should" be about, but to just watch it with their eyeballs and read the god damn subtitles, and not believe a word boston says lmao

for some reason they took "realistic group of gay friends" and made it "the last season of game of thrones but BL." what the drama actually is is good, whatever the hell drama they're watching sounds like it's really poorly written lol almost like a bunch of chronically online BL-brainrotten weirdos made up a bunch of shit in their heads and vomited it onto the screen.....

i mean, what game are topmew playing exactly? what's the goal? like you said, they're literally dating... "caught feelings" is especially funny in this context like, oh, you mean... the point of dating? lol if there were some kind of agenda we would have known what it is by now.

look, i get that i'm at a level of obsession that few people can achieve and maintain. i am the epitome of that community quote: "i am not a fan, i am not a groupie, i am an academic." but... come on... make it make sense!!!! i can't imagine that casual viewers who aren't involved in fandom and never saw the trailer would ever, ever come up with these bizarre interpretations, which should clue you in right away that it's all bullshit.

at least we have the silver lining that they finally realize that topmew are in love (an episode late lmao), teeny tiny though it may be. thanks for dropping by, anon, and for being as frustrated as i am 🫰😭🫰

[crushedsweets]

back w more of my song analysis bs cause im studying music performance and it’s all I think about 😍 sorry this is so long. i have so many Thoughts

the chain by fleetwood mac is such a brian song. no big beat drop, just constant driving bass - shows determination, relentlessness. specifically the line “if you don’t love me now, you will never love me again” which i take to mean “after i do what im about to do i will become unlovable, so you if you don’t love me now then you will never be able to because i’ll be such an irredeemable person”

geyser by mitski is a really good song to describe nina’s relationship with Jeff. the way that the song starts off so slow, so quiet and thin, but then swells to a grand and full sound like how nina’s obsession started off so small but then grew to control her entire life. love the line “and hear the harmony only when it’s harming me”

a pearl by mitski and LJ (another mitski song cause she’s my fav artist ever) about his abandonment mmm. plus the slightly sinister sounding chords showing his evilification(?? yk what i mean. when he turned emo) ugh “you’re growing tired of me” and “i fell in love with a war and nobody told me it ended” so him

tongues and teeth by the cranes wives and EJ. this is SO his song. ALL of the lyrics r so incredibly him,, “my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear” plus the slightly manic instrumental, highlighting the panic he feels at potentially harming people he loves HLGKFJJDS.

also, for ur consideration, miss nothing by the pretty reckless x nat.

- anon 🌙

anon im kicking my feet. AGGHHGHG. ohh my god. yhou are using musical word that i do not comprehendn in the same way you may but wow do i love the way you describe it. very poetic i think. ill talk abt these.. and then mention a liil extra smth abt toby i thought when driving yesterday

the chain is yes very brian.... ugh... yeyah. yeah. 'after i do what im about to do' is so real. like being so very aware and conscious of your awful decisions and still going through with them. quite brian-like even under the whole complexities with hoody persona etc etc....

AND YEAH GEYSER TOO . the start of the song feels very like... idk if scary is right but its just very deep and could be quite unsettling.... nina longs for love. "i've turned down every hand thats beckoned for me to come" very pretty, fun, easy-going girl that could have plenty of suitors and yet she's still crawling towards this fucking beast of a man who is nothing good for her. "i will be the one you need" constantly warping herself for this man that wouldn't do shit for her, and she doesn't mind because she loves him in every single which way he is, and she loves how awful it is . and FUCKKKKK SHE NEEDS TO GET BETTER SHE NEEDS TO GET AWAY. she gets away dont worry. she gets over him. lots of crying and sobbing and screaming but she gets over it. its very hard to get over something awful when you crave awful

im not a huge lj fan (SCARED OF CLOWNS IM SORRY GUYS IK I KEEP HARPING ON ABOUT IT) but i loooove a pearl. "i fell in love with a war / nobody told me it ended" wow. ok. yeah. wow. jesus. rolling the pearl around looking for anything and everything that could soothe the ache of literal fucking abandonment while all you can do is wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and then its all too much and damn . :( damn ok.

IVE GORWN A MOUTH SO SHARP AND CRUEL IS LITERALLY SO PERFFECTLY EJ. FUCK. "I am not a vessel for your good intents" oh but he is sure a vessel for something demonic .... "abonded all your stupid dreams / about the girl i couldve been" HE HAD SOOO MANY FUCKING DREAAAMSSSS he wants to be a doctor he wanted to save lives he wanted a family he wanted a dog he wanted to see his little siblings grow up he wanted to take care of his elderly parents. and now all he can do is sit and be miserable because he is a monster and there is only so much he can do about it. damn. wow.

also yeah to the nat thing wow.

wow. yeah. goddamn.

AND ALSOOOOO OK LAST NIGHT I WAS DRIVING AND THIS SONG CAME ON

shit show by peter mcpoland i just keep thinking about toby. tbh ill find a way to twist any song into toby cuz i like him but yea. this is leaning more into the found family thing after losing his own and just seeing the way different people reflect his past and its gut wrenching but you know how he is. just a guy of sorts. he spends a lot of his time angry and wanting to isolate and self destruct and ruin everything around him . but he also spends a lot of his time desperate for normalcy, for respect, to be seen as a human fucking being and ah fugugh. im just imagining brian pulling him out to meet the owner of the farm near slenders forest and making him stand straight and telling the farmer 'he's a good kid, hard worker, strong. keep him around" (the hardworking strong part is true, at least) and toby's about to die cuz he's so stressed (this is shortly after all the fucking murder) but brian lightly slaps him on the back and he stands up straight and the farmer just shakes his hand and says smth nice abt 'got a good grip there' and and and guyyyyssss..... and holidays..are so hard for hhim.. and "i swear i'd see your faces staring up at me" ohh my goddd.... "I don't wanna drink alone today" man................... guys...... man......

[loopylostandfound]

For the ask game, 001- BaroRyuu and 002- Barok van Zieks! :D

OH BOY BUCKLE UP

will contain dgs-dgs2 spoilers so anyone reading who hasn't finished the games, DONT LOOK LOL

baroryuu

- when I started shipping it

oh god oh jeez. it was after I'd finished the games actually, I wasn't into it at first. I think fanfic converted me and now I'm feral LOL

- my thoughts

HHEHRHRHEHRHRHRHHRHGGGHRJRNNGGNGNGGNG

no but for real uhhhh I love them. there's something soooo chefs kiss abt this dynamic. I love when big scary guy is absolutely brought to his knees by a cute little weirdo who believed in him. saved him even. hhhrhrhrhhr they are special to me and I'm squeezing them

- what makes me happy abt them

well all of the above hdwjksjfjd but uhhh I love the growth of their relationship a lot, especially on barok's end like he realizes his behavior was shitty and is genuinely sorry for it, I love that he's not too proud to admit this. and ryuu is always so patient with him and insists that he's good even though he's treated him badly ouhghhgh they believe in each other!! wheeee

- what makes me sad abt them

the fact that ryuu had to leave ouhsgsgdjjdjff you mean you LEFT him ALONE??? hhfhdjskdj no I know he had to go it's important and I wouldn't change it but oouuuhh the heartbreak. i feel these long distance feels all too well ough

- things done in fanfic that annoy me

when someone makes ryuu like. too wooby. like turns him into a helpless damsel or some shit lol it is not my thing, I like him to have agency jdjwjdjd and don't like when he's made out to be like. an idiot lol. also in a similar vein don't like when barok is made into too much of an asshole, he's actually a kind person to most he's just a bit gruff and has a lot of walls up lol

- things I look for in fanfic

im a well documented dom ryuu enjoyer hdjsjskfjfj so that for sure (altho I don't mind any dynamic between them, I just prefer this lol) but also I like relationship reveal fics, love confessions, and anything where barok's softer side gets to peek through a lot <3 hehehe

- who I'd be comfortable with them ending up with besides each other

kazuma. lol he's just the other part of my ot3 tho hdjwkskfjjf

herlock with either of them is a fun time but I have a hard time seeing him w either of them longterm, I think vanlock are exes lmao and ryuulock probably was a fling at some point but I don't think they'd end up together

yeah it's basically just kazuma hfjwkqksjdkdk like as a longterm thing lol

- my happily ever after for them

as stated above my ot3 is asobaroryuu (any configuration of the ship lol) so I like the idea of them all moving to japan and doing law stuff together lol they have a big house and adopt a kid or two! as self indulgent as possible here jdskkskfjfjf

- who is the big spoon/little spoon

i think most of the time ryuu is probably the little spoon bc it's easier given the height difference lol but sometimes it's barok bc sometimes even a bad bitch needs to be held okay !!! and ryuu likes holding his big scary bf it makes him feel good too hehe

- what is their favorite non-sexual activity

self indulgent answer: cuddles

possibly more realistic answer but still self-indulgent: goin on walks together and talking about everything and nothing. while holding hands. also facing off in court, I think they'd enjoy being able to do that without any animosity between them

thank u im insane!!!!!!! anyways

barok van zieks

OH BOY OKAY OKAY OKAY

- how I feel about this character

[10 minutes of screaming, breaking glass noises, clown honks, car crash sounds, ripping noises, growling, whimpering, crying, insane laughter]

very normal.

I love him a lot and I never expected to going into the games!! bc I had only seen negative things abt him and expected him to be this irredeemable asshole. but no!!! he's literally a huge softie inside actually???? and like. care about truth and justice which is more than one can say for many aa prosecutors lol like he's probably the most competent of the bunch, he's just a cunt to ryuunosuke at first but he apologizes later 😭 also I love the fact that he has bats in his office like it's both a great supplement to his goth vampire aesthetic but also seems to imply he likes animals and I love to imagine him feeding his lil fruit bats hdjskdjfjf. also he's so fucking pretty and i would climb him like a tree. im incredibly normal about his tits. and thighs. anyway let's move on

- all the people I ship romantically with this character

ryuunosuke n kazuma, at the same time preferably lol. herlock, albert, and genshin get honorable mentions as ppl i think he may have had a thing for/with in the past but i don't necessarily see as a Ship for me personally lol

- my non-romantic otp for this character

i want to see the vanlock exes to worsties agenda lmaooo they are never getting back together but they are going to make each other's lives worsebetter forever <3

- my unpopular opinion abt this character

hes a sub. like at least as a strong preference jdjwkdjfj and also even in a non-sexual way, I think it would be a great de-stressing thing for him to let someone he trusts take over for a bit and take care of him, kinda just let his worries melt away. big praise kink and worship kink on this guy I think :3

- one thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

i want uncle barok and iris interactions!!! he would be the best uncle he would spoil her rotten and she would let him lol

- my otp

asobaroryuu <3 I really think the three of them would balance out really well once they worked out their issues, baroryuu is my fav among the three pairings here n the only one that really stands on its own for me but I prefer them all together soooo much i don't like leaving kazuma out hes a little feral beast he spices up the proceedings lol

- my crossover ship

dont have one sowwy ;-;

- a headcanon fact

hes autistic. like holy shit. I saw this mans office w his constantly rearranged wine barrels and his specific custom made chalices n his whole like. aura. n was like aha. the tism. bdjskajxjdf but no fr theres more thn that that i cant think of now and i may be projecting here lol but that man is not neurotypical!!! :D

WAUGH tht was a lot lmaooooo

[annelidist]

im stuck thinking about bumpo's house of tricks bosses what bosses would you consider the bumpo for each game? and does anor londo as a whole count for a bumpo as well with the gwynevere part as a way to open the gwyndolin fight

okay so. i want to take a holistic view of what can be considered a palace of tricks in this post. however, with that in mind, i would not say that merely being a hidden or convoluted-to-reach boss qualifies as a Trick in and of itself. we need to maintain a high standard of bullshit here or things will get out of hand. anyway here's my comprehensive bumpo overview

DEMON'S SOULS

Fool's Idol. a fucking classic to start us off. not only does she have a bunch of clones cluttering up the arena. not only does she cover the floor in immobilising traps. NOT ONLY does she teleport. but she has an easily missable npc hanging out on a balcony above her arena who you have to locate and kill beforehand or he'll revive her repeatedly upon death. textbook shit. no notes

DARK SOULS

Pinwheel. the saddest, wettest, most pathetic of all bumpos, and this is a category that includes micolash. he's got the classic arsenal - the body doubles, the teleportation, the projectile attacks - and it just doesn't matter. he's fucked no matter what he does. sorry, buddy.

Dark Sun Gwyndolin. now, i know i made it sound like i wasn't going to include gwyndolin, but they're not here for the "giant big booby hologram of my useless sister" thing. they're here for teleporting indefinitely down an infinite hallway, like a Bitch.

Bed of Chaos. come on man

BLOODBORNE

Witches of Hemwick. a lot of people on that dog ass 10k note post that i wrote in 3 seconds and isnt even about a tweet i made are telling me the witches of hemwick aren't really that Bumpo. they're telling me they're not that big a deal. listen. Liten it's not just that this boss is invisible. it's not just that it summons a bunch of guys, multiclassing into "the gang is back together and they hate you ". it's not just the immobilising projectile attack. it's not just the respawning body doubles. it's the fake health bar. witches of hemwick is a boss fight with a fake health bar, and they're in my notes telling me that isn't double strength top ranking Clown Bullshit. Fuck Off

Micolash, Host of the Nightmare. a little undercooked as a bumpo on the individual level. but my god. what a palace of tricks he has

DARK SOULS II

i'm actually struggling to come up with a bumpo for this game. mytha, maybe? i don't know, i feel like my standards for tricks are a bit higher than just having a swamp in your arena. you need a little more panache than that, or at least need to be annoying in a less straightforward way. open to feedback of course but i just don't think anybody in dark souls 2 is the right kind of infuriating for this

DARK SOULS III

Crystal Sages. a comparatively restrained but still respectable bumpo. your common-or-garden fool. your workhorse shithead

Ancient Wyvern. as if by contrast, a most unconventional bumpo indeed! not only is the focus almost entirely on the palace of tricks, as with micolash, the ancient wyvern is also the only bumpo thus far who would not immediately die if struck by a moped

SEKIRO

Folding Screen Monkeys. a supremely Bumpo fight that also bears the unique honour of actually being, like, a good boss. i really like bosses in stealth-action games that test the player on their mastery of the stealth system rather than being action segments, and the folding screen monkeys are a great example of this! (my other favourite instances of the approach are izban from deadbolt and the boss from mgs3.) also they are part of sekiro's broader Monkey Subtheme, which rules

ELDEN RING

Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon.

[ATTACKS YOU WITH MY BEAM]

[ATTACKS YOU WITH MY BEAM]

[ATTACKS YOU WITH M