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bunny-hwa · 1 month ago

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Popular, Boy

☆ 01: The first beg

Pairings: Nerd!Hongjoong x Popular!Reader

Genre: +18, slow burn, angst, smut, drama, dark academic, love triangle.

wc: 8.0k

Summary: Your world is shaken when Hongjoong, a desperate nerd yearning for popularity and your attention, swallows his pride dropping to his knees, begging for your help and eager to prove his loyalty, he would do anything you want, but he must pay the price of his ambition.

This is just the beginning. This is just his first beg...

Warnings: Cursing, verbal abuse, bullying, public humiliation, emotional manipulation, power dynamics, suggestive.

Series Masterlist ☆02

“YN, our little pet is coming.” You hear one of your friends say. You smile but your sight never leaves the screen of your phone.

Why is Seonghwa not answering your messages? You're supposed to have a date after school, but he just left you on seen… again.

You are not yet a couple, but you treat each other as one, something that is completely wrong, yet you continue to do it.

You scoff when Mindy does the same thing, but only for different reasons “Finally you're here, what took you so long, pet?” The brown haired drop his head down in embarrassment, but says nothing “I asked you something, are you deaf?” Your friend stands up walking towards him, she slaps the notebooks in his hands making them spread onto the floor “When I ask you something you have to answer, fucking slave. Now pick up that mess.” Mindy says with an evil smile, sitting beside you again. Your other friends laugh and you know something it's coming.

“Yes, yes…. I… I'm sorry.” The boy stutters, and drops to his knees.

You roll your eyes while turning off your phone, Seonghwa is not going to answer even if you give death stares to your phone.

You decide to pay attention to the things happening in front of you, and in the middle of the whole cafeteria, where all the students are watching like is a fucking TV show.

A boy is kneeling in front of Mindy picking up the mess of notebooks and paper sheets. He's picking everything in a hurry, he must be so scared.

You don’t know a lot about him but you know his name and the basics. Kim Hongjoong, he's in your class and is a complete loser. Always with those ugly glasses and baggy old man clothes. He's intelligent, he has the best grades in the whole school. In simple words, he's a nerd.

He is part of the nerdy slaves that you and your friends have, always there for you and your scholar needs. Being the queen bee of college has a lot of advantages, everyone loves you (or hates you) and you can have whatever you like in a snap. Nobody will complain about it.

Being pretty and rich can do a lot of thighs.

Suddenly; you feel a little tap on your shoulder by Mindy at your side. She is holding her drink above the boy's head. You smile, nodding. Your friends and some students started laughing when the strawberry liquid covered his hair and clothes, wetting the floor and some notebooks.

“Oh my god, the little puppy made a mess!” One of your girls says pointing at the boy on his knees.

Hongjoong feels his face hot with embarrassment. He is used to public humiliations, but whenever it happens in front of you, the humiliation feels a thousand times worse.

You hear laughs and other cruel words making you smile in hilariously, but it is when he snaps his head at your side, his eyes full of tears and begging, and for the first time you feel empathy for someone.

“Quit it.” You say still looking at him, and slowly everyone gets silent, till nothing is heard “Let him go and call someone to clean this fucking mess.” Taking your stuff, you're able to see him down his head to cover the little smile in his lips, and you roll your eyes in annoyance. You're not defending him, only his big eyes clouded your evil for a moment and you're going to make it clear for him “You have to buy me new notebooks, pet.”

When you remark the nasty nickname you can see a spark of hurt in his eyes, but you ignore it and you stand up to go to class, your friends following you laughing and throwing dirty looks at him.

Hongjoong; still on his knees, looking at you with shame, he is hurt by your words and he didn't have any idea that those notebooks were yours. He sees you walk away in that little pink skirt and white high heels that he loves to see you in, he doesn't pay attention to the mocks other students make about him. He just picks up the ruined notebooks, stands up and walks to the nearest bathroom.

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, hair wet and sticky for the sweet drink, tarnished glasses, and his clothes a complete mess. He feels like everyone calls him.

A loser.

And he hates it, he hates himself. He hates that everyone repudiates him just because of the way he looks. How sick must society be to judge your appearance?

He wishes he could be better, for him and for you. He swears to god that he would do everything to be at your level and make you feel proud to be by his side.

He's been in love with you since the first day of his freshman year of college. He loves everything about you… well, he doesn't love how you treat him sometimes, and the strange relationship you have with Seonghwa, but leaving that aside, he has the biggest crush on you he could ever have on someone.

He loves your long, silky brown hair, he loves your pretty deer eyes that every time you see him, even if it's with repudiation, they make him blush. God, he loves your lips, your beautiful and glossy lips, always looking so kissable. He loves your body which seems sculpted by god himself, your curves make many men desire and even him. And finally, he loves it when you wear mini skirts and high stockings, you just look beautiful and he would give everything to compliment you and maybe do something more suggestive while wearing them.

He just wishes he was with you, but he doesn't know how to change and prove it to you.

Prove that he is worth it, he will try, he will try to change for you.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

As he said, he spent the whole weekend buying stylish clothes online, and buying a lot of accessories such as earrings, rings and chains. He also pierced his ears (it hurted like hell) he looked for fashion pages, skincare routines and how to style his hair.

Oh! And he bought you pretty notebooks and also rewrote all your notes and exercises.

He was willing to show off a new style at school tomorrow, the only thing he forgot was changing the big ass glasses… but maybe he can look good after he uses cool clothes, or at least he hopes so.

He arrives at school full of nerves, sweaty hands and feeling like a clown.

He woke up earlier than he usually does to get ready. He is thankful that fashion apps exist to help people without a sense of fashion like him. He made a mess in the bathroom trying to get a good hairstyle while watching a TikTok tutorial and he almost ripped his ear trying to put on earrings for the first time, but at the end he was satisfied with the results, he looked like the popular guys in his school and he felt a little bit of faith.

Maybe you will see him differently now, maybe you will finally see him.

Before going out of his house, his mother were surprise seeing his son wearing new brand clothes, accessories and his hair unusually styled, he really looked good and she complement him a lot saying how handsome her son is, and she even tried to take a picture like it was the fucking prom night, but now standing infront of the school he was feeling terrified.

“Hongjoong?” He snaps his head towards the voice calling him “God, you look like a new person, man!” The tall guy compliments him with a wide smile, he approaches Hongjoong while adjusting his glasses, not believing what he is seeing.

“Thank you, Yunho… But I don't feel different.” He mutters, looking at his new clothes.

He was wearing a simple white shirt, black pants, black leather jacket and boots, and he added some accessories to make the outfit look better.

“You do look different, but you are our same Joong.”

“Is what I’m saying, Yeosang” Yunho says to the boy who calmly approaches them “Just wait till Jongho sees you, he will—”

“You look like an idiot.” Yunho is interrupted by Jongho’s voice “What did you do to yourself?” He asks, eyeing him with a grimace.

Hongjoong looks at his clothes again, Jongho’s comment causing regret of trying to change what he is... A loser.

Yunho hit the youngest head, making him hiss in pain “You look great, Joong. Don't pay attention to this asshole, he is just jealous.”

“Jealous? Sure.” He rolls his eyes “Whatever, lets see how YN’s group will treat you.”

Jongho starts to walk to the main entrance, leaving him with Yunho and Yeosang. Hongjoong glare at his two friends, concerned “Do I look that bad?”

“Of course not.” Yeosang shakes his head.

“No! You look cool, maybe like this you finally get a girlfriend.” Yunho jokes, slapping his arm “Come on, let's get going.”

As Hongjoong walked through the halls of the school, he was able to see how several students looked at him with amazement and confusion. He knew that most of them were making fun of him, but he decided not to pay attention. The opinion that mattered most to him at this moment was yours.

✮ ⋆

During lunch, Hongjoong walks toward you and your friends to give you the notebooks he bought for you after scraping them last week. His clothes are more fashionable than usual. His hair is styled neatly, and he wears a fitted black jacket and jeans, trying to look more confident after the compliments he received from his friends.

You are sitting with your group, chatting, when you notice…. Hongjoong approaching? Is that him or you are confusing him with another person?

“Is that Hongjoong?” You hear Mindy asking aloud.

Hongjoong, looking a bit nervous, adjusts his jacket, trying to look more at ease “YN I… I bought you new notebooks like you said.” He says while he gives you the beautiful notebooks, with curiosity you take them carefully, still observing his radical change of look “Also I rewrote all your notes.” He scratches the back of his head, nervously.

Scanning him up and down, there's a moment of hesitation before you respond, unsure how to react “Well yeah… As you should do.” You glanced at your friends, who are all now looking at Hongjoong in various states of amusement and confusion “Thanks… I guess.”

“What on earth happened to you?” Mindy laughs, raising an eyebrow “What’s with the clothes, pet? Trying to be one of us now?” She smirks, eyes scanning him, clearly not impressed.

You frown slightly, sensing the tone of your friend. You know how cruel she can be when she hates someone, because you are just like that. But Hongjoong has done nothing to you, yet.

“I think he’s just trying something new. It’s... nice that he’s, you know, stepping out of his ugly clothes zone.” You try to defend him subtly.

Mindy shrugs, still smirking, “Babe, no amount of new cheap clothes is gonna change the fact that he’s still a total nerd.” She snickers, flipping her hair “Look at him. Trying so hard to be on our level. It’s sad, really.” You look at her with a little smile, she is not wrong, though.

A group of students walk by, to be more specific, it is the football team. Made up of the rich and handsome boys of the school. The main hosts are Seonghwa, San, Mingi and Wooyoung... And of course, we couldn't miss that they are friends and something else, of you and your group. They snicker as they notice Hongjoong’s new look.

“Do you see this? Hongjoong’s playing dress-up now. What a joke” Wooyoung whispers to Seonghwa, but loud enough for Hongjoong to hear, causing him to put down his head in shame.

Seonghwa laughs, shaking his head “Nice try, man. You’ll always be the same kid no matter how many jackets you buy.” He steps closer to where you are sitting, and bends down to give you a kiss on the lips.

You smile at him and force him to sit next to you. Hongjoong swallows his jealousy when he sees such a scene.

“Yeah, dude, you’re still the same geek. Just a geek in a fancy jacket. No one’s gonna buy it.” San laughs along.

Hongjoong; feeling his face flushes with embarrassment pulls at his jacket sleeves, but he lifts his head up high. His voice shakes a little, but he forces a smile “I’m just... trying to fit in. I thought maybe people would treat me differently, that’s all.” He opens up, but he just hears chuckles.

“Fit in? Honey, you’re never gonna fit in. You’ve always been the weird kid, and this little makeover using cheap stuff isn’t gonna change that.” Mindy says while laughing loudly, clearly enjoying hongjoong’s discomfort “You should’ve stuck to your glasses and ugly clothes, at least then people wouldn’t be laughing at you.”

You were smiling, but feeling uncomfortable. You know that sometimes you can be the biggest bitch and cruel person but this time you're not going to lie, he looks good with that style. You dare say he looks attractive, something you never thought you would say about him.

Hongjoong, who is now looking down, his shoulders slump… you feel sorry for him “I think you look fine, Hongjoong. Honestly. It’s just... losers aren’t going to change overnight.” Your voice is surprisingly gentle, trying to offer him some comfort.

At your words his smile fades, and he sighs softly, clearly discouraged, but he tries to keep his composure “Yeah... I guess you're right. It’s just... hard, you know? I thought... Maybe this time, I could make a difference.” He looks down, visibly defeated and walks away.

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, and students begin to disperse. You watch Hongjoong as he walks away, feeling a pang of guilt and sympathy.

“Seriously, though. Who does he think he’s fooling? He’ll never be one of us, and let alone wearing second-hand clothes.” You hear Mindy whispering to the others.

You shake your head, rolling your eyes “Mindy, that’s enough.” You stand up, pushing back your chair.

“Calm down, YN. He is just a nerd, why are you so worried about him?”

“I said, it's enough. So please shut the fuck up.”

Wooyoung laughs “You heard the queen, shut the fuck up Mindy, you’re annoying.” He mocks her, making her angry.

You ignore their bickering and decide to watch Hongjoong walk away, a little conflicted. You don't understand why you suddenly feel this way for him, three days ago you still saw him as just a loser... But now you think he's a pretty cute loser.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

It's been a week, and you were able to see the way Hongjoong worked hard every day, wearing cute clothes and different hairstyles every day. You don't deny it, every day that passes you see him more attractive.

Even some students, or more specifically, some other losers noticed his change too. Girls started to notice his beauty and boys envied him, but nothing more.

In the eyes of others, he is still a nerd wearing nice clothes and even you have come to think that, but you prefer to stay quiet instead of humiliating him like Mindy or Seonghwa friends love to do. As they are doing right now.

“Just stop pretending to be one of us and go back with your nerdy friends.”

“Your low class exists only to serve us.”

“You're just a loser in cheap clothes.”

And the teasing is not going to stop until someone does, but you're not going to be the one to do it.

“Don't you get tired of your little group of clowns saying stupid things?” The laughter was tempered by paying attention to the annoyed girl in front of you, and next to a kneeling Hongjoong. He looked at her amazed, no one had ever defended him. But you look at the girl with a grin, who the fuck thinks she is to talk at you like that? She is wearing loose and ugly clothes, round glasses decorating her delicate face, and it is obvious that she is just another loser. "You should start studying instead of wasting your time doing all this."

You stop Wooyoung when you see him trying to stand up and start arguing with the girl.

“Excuse me, but… Who are you?” You ask with a soft voice like you're talking to a little girl. You have never seen this girl before “And why do you meddle in something that is none of your business?”

Raising your brows in surprise, you look how the girl rolls her eyes and takes Hongjoong’s arm, forcing him to get up from the floor “Knowing my name is none of your business, spoiled girl.”

You scoff, watching her walk with a completely astonished and confused Hongjoong.

That bitch doesn't know who she is dealing with.

“Sannie.”

“Yes?” He answers, coming out of his own astonishment, no one had ever spoken to you like that and much less had anyone defended that nerd.

“Find out who she is. I want her name, age, address and what class she is in.” You order him without taking your eyes off those two heading to the school's backyard “Call me when you have the information.”

“Of course, pretty.”

✮ ⋆

“Wait.” Hongjoong says once they are in the garden, away from everyone. He breaks free from the strange girl's grip.

The girl turns to look at him confused “What happened? Are you okay? Did they hurt you?”

He looks at her strangely, who the hell is she? And why did she defend him? She must be a new student, no one will ever dare to talk to you and the others in that way.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because they were being mean with you, nobody deserves to be treated like that.”

“But you don't even know me.” He couldn't believe that someone was worried about him.

“I don't have to know you, I just wanted to help.” She smiles shyly, red creeping to her cheeks when Hongjoong stares at her eyes.

“Well, thanks…” He mutters “I'm Hongjoong.”

“I… I'm Dann, I'm a transfer student.” It's been a week since she arrived at this school. His beauty has chased her since the first moment she saw him in the library, and she cannot deny the little crush she has on him.

Hongjoong lets out a sigh, now he knows why she is so bold. She has no idea how things work in this school.

“Listen.” He begins “I appreciate your concern, but don't do it again–”

“Why? Because they are the cliché rich kids?” She scoffs, crossing her arms.

Hongjoong sighs again “Because they can be more than just cruel, especially the girl you addressed.”

“That rich girl sitting in the middle of all those clowns?” Hongjoong nods “I don't care, she's just another mean rich girl. Nothing new.”

Hongjoong closes his eyes with another tired sigh. If only she knew.

And if only he knew that they were going to get along instantly.

After that day, they spend their breaks together in the library sharing their tastes in books and random topics, and to his surprise they have a lot of things in common.

Since that day, they started being friends, and Dann couldn't be more happy.

“See you tomorrow Dann, we have to discuss the science book.” Hongjoong says while tousling her hair slightly.

Dann smiles with his cheeks burning “Sure, see you tomorrow, Joong.”

He says goodbye with a beautiful smile that makes her sigh like a fool, she sees him leave without erasing her smile... Maybe it's too early to tell him that she likes him?

Yes, it's definitely too early.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

“Dann, can you help me please? I'm in a hurry!”

The girl sighs, but she goes where her mother is in the kitchen “What do you need?”

“Take this to Mrs. Clarke's daughter." The woman says as she hands Dann a tray with lemonade and chopped fresh fruit.

“I don't even know her, how do you expect me to find her in this big ass house?” She asks, rolling her eyes.

“She is in the pool, and she is the only young lady in this house.”

“I’m a young lady too.” She teases and her mother chuckles.

“You know what I meant Dann.” Dann laughs, and heads towards the back exit of the large house where the garden and pool are located.

Since her mother started working here, two weeks ago, she was delighted with the Clarke’s family mansion and so was she. It is a spectacular house full of luxuries that is scary to even see for fear of breaking something. Because of how expensive everything looks, she doubts that she and her mother can afford it if it ever happens.

Being already at the entrance of the immense garden she could see in the distance a huge pool with elegant edges and lounge chairs that seemed to be made of pure gold, leaning on one of the chairs is a girl in a beautiful bikini and sunglasses.

“She must be her.” Dann mutters slowly approaching the young girl that seems to be sleeping, or that was she thought “Excuse me, miss Clarke.” She says with a soft voice, it's the first time she has interacted with the daughter of his mother's bosses, she must have given a good impression “I brought you what you asked for.” She says as she is getting closer and closer to where the girl is, that for some reason she is kind of familiar.

Her mouth opens in awe as the girl gets up and removes her sunglasses.... Shit, it's the girl she faced last week at school, dammit.

You can't believe what your eyes are seeing. Leaving your glasses aside, you sit straight watching the girl from days ago approach with a tray.

What a fucking coincidence.

“Hello again.” You say with a mocking tone seeing her stiff the moment she is just steps away from you “You can let the stuff here.” You point at the little table next to you. She doesn't say anything but does what you said. Suddenly your phone rings, and seeing San’s name on the screen makes you take it in a hurry “San?”

“Hi, doll. I have what you asked for.”

“Go ahead.” You smile as you lie back again without taking your eyes off the girl who is waiting for you to give her the order to leave.

“Her name is Seo DannWo, she is nineteen years old, she is in her first year of school and recently moved to Seoul.”

“What about her parents?”

“There is no information about her father, but her mother works for rich people.”

You let out a scoff, and then address the girl "What's your name? Or is it still none of my business?”

She lowers her gaze and murmurs "DannWo."

“Last name?”

“Seo.”

And finally you really laugh, you think all this is quite funny “Thank you Sannie, on Monday I have something very important to say to you, goodbye!” You hang up and sigh, eyeing her up and down. She is not wearing a maid uniform, so you assume that only her mother works here “I don't think your mother can pay the tuition with her salary, do you have a scholarship?”

Of all that Dann imagined you would ask her, she never imagined that you would ask that question.

“No, I… My mom asked your parents to help her give me a better education.”

You nod, your smile getting bigger and bigger “You also live here with the rest of the staff?” She nods with her head down “So my parents gave your mom a job, they paid for your tuition, you live here and you still talk to me that way last week?” You ask with a mocking pout.

She immediately denies it, almost scared. She doesn't want to get his mom in a problem with your family just because of what she did “No, no! I had no idea who you were, I didn't do it on purpose, I just wanted to help Joong.”

You frown at that nickname “Joong? Are you two best friends now or something? You don't even know him and–” Of course, that must be “Oh my god.” You giggle covering your mouth, she cannot be for real right now “You like him, don't you?” You see how her cheeks redden and she plays with her hands in an anxious gesture, you scoff “Don't worry, I don't pretend to tell him.” Your smile fades, for some reason a hint of jealousy surrounds you “You can leave now.”

Without thinking twice, Dann says goodbye with a nod and returns inside the house, almost running. You smile mischievously, you're going to have a lot of fun with her.

You put a strawberry in your mouth and while you chew, you take your phone and go to the kitchen, where you assume she has gone and indeed. When you enter the huge kitchen you see her next to an older woman, she must be her mother.

Dann manages to see you out of the corner of her eye and curses internally, she's still nervous about what just happened out there and she's afraid you'll tell her mom what she did last week.

“Excuse me…” You say in a fake sweet tone that almost makes Dann roll her eyes.

The woman turns around and gives you a smile when she recognizes you “Hello dear, do you need anything?”

“Oh no, I just wanted to confirm something.” You smile when you see the panic in Dann's eyes.

The lady looks at you a little confused but doesn't ask any more “Very well, if you need anything else don't hesitate to tell me.”

“In fact, I need something, can you pick up what I left near the pool? I'm full, but still thank you for your effort cutting all those fruits for me.” The mockery in your tone does not go unnoticed by both women, Dann feels anger immediately but before she can tell you anything impudent her mother speaks.

“Of course, miss YN, in a moment I will.” She says kindly, giving little importance to her discomfort.

You nod with a smile but then you make a slight playful grimace “Why doesn't she do it?” You point out the minor without embarrassment, who frowns in annoyance.

“She is not part of the staff, she is my daughter.”

You open your eyes with fake surprise “Ahh... I didn't know, as she was the one who attended me a few minutes ago. I thought that my parents were doing some kind of charity by giving work to a little girl.” You shrug your shoulders letting out the sweetest giggle you can. “Sorry for the confusion.” Your fake pout makes Dann boil with rage.

She clenches her fists furiously, if she thought you were a spoiled child before, now she has it more than confirmed. Now she understands what Hongjoong told her the day she confronted you.

“Don't worry, miss YN.” The woman smiled uncomfortably.

“Anyway, goodbye.” You cynically say goodbye to both of them and head to your room trying not to laugh loudly.

It will certainly be a lot of fun to have her around.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

“Her mother works at your house?! Oh my god!” She is such a loser.” Mindy says aloud and you smile nodding.

Your friends laugh when the mentioned girl walks through the cafeteria holding her tray with breakfast, looking for a place to sit. You frown when you see her make her way to the table where Hongjoong and his friends are sitting.

“Mindy, shouldn't Hongjoong give us our chemistry homework?” You ask Mindy without taking your eyes off those two.

She nods “That's right, love. I don't know why it's taking him so long if it's delivered after lunch.” At her complaint, you point to where he is sitting, she turns to look and smiles mockingly when she notices Dann talking calmly with Hongjoong “It's obvious that that bitch is flirting with him, oh god… What a pity.”

Your lips curl into a smug smile as you lean back in your chair, crossing your arms "Babe, why don’t you go remind Hongjoong of his priorities?”

Mindy immediately grabs her bag and stands, flipping her hair over her shoulder "With pleasure." The rest of the group snickers, their laughter carrying across the cafeteria.

You watch as Mindy strides toward Hongjoong's table, where Dann is animatedly gesturing about something, her face lighting up with every word. Hongjoong chuckles, and your perfectly sculpted eyebrows furrow slightly.

It’s been two fucking weeks since then, and now they are this close?

"She’s bold, I’ll give her that" You mutter under your breath. Then louder, so your friends can hear, "Too bad boldness doesn’t equal brains."

The table erupts into laughter again, gaining the attention of more people in the cafeteria, but your focus remains on the scene playing out before you.

Mindy taps Hongjoong’s shoulder with a perfectly manicured finger "Hongjoong." She says sweetly, but her tone carries an edge, "I was wondering where my and YN’s homework is. You know, the one that’s due after lunch? Maybe you should focus on that instead of… whatever this is." She gestures vaguely toward Dann.

Dann’s expression hardens, but she doesn’t back down "We’re just talking. Is that a problem?"

"Who does she think she is?" You mutter, more to yourself than anyone else.

Mindy raises an eyebrow "Not for me, but maybe it’s a problem for someone who knows how things work around here."

Hongjoong shifts uncomfortably, glancing between the two girls "I’ve got the homework, Mindy. I’ll bring it to you and YN before lunch, okay?"

“Joong, you don't have to keep doing this crap! You—”

Mindy cuts her off, her tone icy "Trust me, nerd, I’m doing him a favor." She leans closer, smirking. Dann opens her mouth to retort, but Mindy’s already pivoting back to Hongjoong, ignoring her "It’s so sweet how she’s trying to stick up for you, though. Like a little puppy following everywhere. Does she know?" She says with mock, leaning in conspiratorially, voice dropping just for him to hear "Does she know you’re only doing this because you think YN’s going to notice you? God, that’s adorable."

Hongjoong’s face burns red. He stammers, "It’s not like that—"

"Oh, it’s exactly like that." Mindy interrupts, her grin widening "But keep dreaming, pet. Maybe someday she will, I don’t know, let you carry her books or something."

The laughter grows louder, and Dann stands abruptly, slamming her tray on the table "Why don’t you shut up, Mindy?" She snaps, her voice shaking with anger.

"Dann, stop." Hongjoong said through gritted teeth, cutting her off. He pushes his chair back and stands, glaring at her "You’re not helping."

"But Hongjoong—"

"I said stop!" He snaps, his voice louder than he intended.

The cafeteria falls quiet for a moment, and Hongjoong looks around, realizing everyone’s staring at him. His face burns hotter, and he storms out of the cafeteria without another word. Dann hesitates for a moment, torn between following him and staying put, but Mindy’s triumphant smirk keeps her rooted in place.

"Wow, pet got mad." You say, and your friend chuckles.

Hongjoong, who storms down an empty hallway, his anger bubbling over. He clenches his fists, his mind racing with humiliation and frustration. He thinks of you and your perfect, untouchable world. For a brief, desperate moment, he feels like everything would be better if he were part of it, if you wanted him, if he belonged with you.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

It's finally Friday, not much happened this week besides the constant martyrdom of seeing Dann and Hongjoong together, they looked like ticks, together everywhere.

But taking away your annoyance, you couldn't stop thinking about how good Hongjoong looked that you almost forgot that he was still a nerdy. You couldn't deny that his new look was totally your type, you noticed the way he plays around with different textures in order to highlight some clothes, but he always keeps it cool and trendy.

And you love it, and If he wasn't a nobody, you swear you'd already flirted with him, but life isn't perfect.

You were walking through the school’s garden while waiting for the class you skipped to end, your friends warned you that the teacher already had you under his strict gaze and if you didn't attend his class he would fail you. In any case, there is no one who can resist a good bribe with banknotes.

Letting out a bored sigh, you lean your back on the trunk of a tree while you take out a strawberry-flavored cigarette and light it by taking a puff. It’s spring so the sun is intense and the leaves of the trees are a beautiful green color, without realizing it you are appreciating the landscape.

Hongjoong sees you from afar, appreciating your beauty and overthinking if it is a good idea what he wants to ask you. Taking a deep breath he starts to walk towards you, heart pounding as he walks closer. Your glossy lips curled in mild annoyance when you looked at him.

"Hongjoong.” You say, dragging hard on the cigarette "What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be hiding in class answering everything the teacher asks?"

Without thinking Hongjoong drops to his knees, so fast that the sound of them hitting the soil reverberates through the place. You blink, startled.

"Please." He says, his voice cracking "I’ll do anything. Just make me popular."

You raise an eyebrow, your lips twitching into a smirk. You know that he is trying to change the way others see and treat him, you know of his efforts by changing the way he dresses, you know it very well. But you never imagined him begging on his knees to be popular.

"Anything?"

He stares up at you, his eyes wild and desperate "You don’t get it, I can’t do this anymore. Being invisible, being nobody. Please, YN. I’ll do whatever you want."

Tilting your head, you exhale a slow plume of smoke, watching the desperation in his eyes "You’re serious." You say slowly, your tone almost amused.

Hongjoong nods frantically, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes "Yes! Just tell me what to do. If you want me to do your homework forever, I will. If you want me to carry your bags, clean your shoes…. Anything."

"That's your dream, to be popular?" You say with mockery. Hongjoong nods again, his knees pressing harder into the soil.

"Yes! I’ll lie for you, hurt anyone you want, sell my soul for you. I’ll even—" His voice drops to a whisper, barely audible "I’ll kill for you. Just… please."

You study him for a long moment, the cigarette dangling between your fingers, your smirk returns "You’re pathetic, but I guess I could work with that."

Hongjoong’s heart leaps "Really? You will?"

You shrug, throwing away the cigarette "Maybe. But it’s going to cost you, Kim. Show me that you’re not just another sad little nerd with a crush.”

His eyes wide open, how did you know about his crush on you? He has always been so cautious.

“How did you…” His voice drops when he sees you smile.

“Oh, honey. It was obvious, the way you looked at me, the way you talked to me, and the way you tried to change just to fit.” You pat his head and scoff when you see him close his eyes, enjoying your touch. “That's why I’m going to give you a chance, but you have to prove you're worth my time.”

"I will," He says quickly, his voice rising in desperation "I’ll prove it, just tell me what to do."

You lean down, your face inches from his and he holds his breath, you look even more beautiful this close.

"Let’s start simple. Seo DannWo. She’s just another nerd following you around because she thinks you're cool.” A cruel smile curves your mouth “Cut her off, publicly. Humiliate her if you have to. Show me you’re serious about being popular."

Hongjoong hesitates, his breath hitching. For a moment, guilt flickers in his eyes, but it’s quickly snuffed out by the overwhelming need clawing at his chest.

"I will do it." He whispers, his voice hoarse.

You straighten, your smile widening "Good boy, you can sit with us today. See you at lunch."

As you turn and saunters away, leaving Hongjoong still on his knees, his fists clenched, and his heart pounding with equal parts shame and exhilaration. But if he wants to be at your side he would do anything for you.

✮ ⋆

Lunch time. Hongjoong had never felt scared to go there like today, not even when you and your friends humiliated him. Dann was the first and only person that has defended him and been friends with. He feels so bad, he doesn't want to do this… But if he wants to change and be with you, he must.

With heavy steps he walks towards the table you and your friends use everyday without looking where his friends are sitting.

“Joong!” Dann calls him with a smile when she sees him step in the place, and you did too.

You smile when Hongjoong ignores Dann. You settle better in your seat, setting aside your food to put all your attention on what would happen next.

“Joong, I saved you a seat next to me.” She grabs his jacket sleeve making him stop there, his friends looking at him strangely. He has been evading them since the last two hours of class. “We need to talk about the new volume of the book, we are going to read it together, right?”

Hoonjong closes his eyes, mentally preparing himself for what he's going to do. He can feel your intense gaze on him “No, Dann. We are not going to read it together." He says letting go of her grip.

"What? Why not?” She asks, totally confused, they have worked together on projects since they met, more than three weeks ago.

“I have stuff to do with YN." He murmurs, it wasn’t a complete lie.

Dann rolls her eyes “If that rich girl is forcing you to do it just to take advantage of you, tell me and I'll put a damn stop to that brat." Dann says furiously, she can't let the boy she likes go through these situations.

“She didn't force me to do anything, I offered myself." Literally, he begged you on his knees "So find someone else to read the book."

And with that he walked to where you were observing everything. His friends made a sound of surprise when they saw him sitting next to you. What the hell is happening?

“What is he doing sitting with the queen bee?!” Yunho asks in shock, believing that his glasses need magnification because he can't believe what he's seeing.

“Is he crazy?” Yeosang blurts out in surprise.

Jongho simply frowns in confusion at his friend's sudden action... Why are you suddenly smiling at him and chatting with him as if you were friends from years ago?

Meanwhile; Dann is in complete shock and with a thousand questions running around in her head. How did that happen? Why did he act so distant with her? Did she do something that made him upset? And most importantly. What are you up to?

“So… is he going to Wooyoung’s party tomorrow night?” Mindy asks carefully, It was strange to have the nerd they humiliated for three years sitting in their group.

You gave the order to treat him as an equal... your reasons? They don't know them, but they don't intend to question you.

“Of course! It's going to be his welcome to our world.” You say giving Hongjoong a smile, which makes him blush and look away.

While you resume your lunch you feel an intense gaze on you, when you look up to see who is the person who seems to be penetrating you. You meet Dann's glance, you make eye contact and it seems that you are challenging each other. She challenges you with a hard look and you just smile and give her a wink before turning your attention to your social circle.

“Do you have a car, pet– I.. sorry, I mean. Hongjoong.” You friend let an awkward chuckle at your raised eyebrow, shit.

It will be complicated to call him by his name.

“No, I don't.” He mutters, feeling embarrassed. Not a minute has passed and his low status is already remarkable.

“It's okay, I will pick you up. Pass me your address.”

Your friends look at you a little surprised, you never pick anyone up. Not even them.

“I don’t… I don’t have your phone number.”

Without thinking much about it, you take his cell phone from the table and turn it on, frowning when you see that it asks for a password.

"Password." You say but with no intention of returning the phone.

Hongjoong opens his eyes in surprise, and regrets not changing it sooner “It's your birthday date.” He mumbles it so quietly that you can barely hear it.

You giggle and type in your birthday date, and your eyes widen when the phone is unlocked... For a moment you thought he was joking.

You quickly add your contact by registering it with your name and a red heart, and return it to him with an innocent smile.

“Give me your address, later I will give you the details of the party.”

He nods as he blushes at the sight of the heart next to your name. He just got your number. The bell makes known the end of lunchtime. You see your friends take their things and get up but you don't do any of that, you just watch them.

“Are you going to skip this class too?”

Mindy looks at you worried, you already have too many reports for doing so. Hongjoong looks at you waiting for your answer, he also didn't move from his place waiting for you to tell him what to do.

“I need to talk to our new member alone, I'll see you later.” You force them to leave and as usual, none of them question you and they say goodbye with their hand.

Suddenly, Hongjoong feels nervous to be alone with you, he never knows what to expect from you.

“Okay, I've got your next step to being popular.” You say with a mocking smile, you still find his plea to be popular ridiculous. He nods and waits for you to speak again “Ask Dann for forgiveness.” When you say that, Hongjoong looks at you confused, what did you just say? “And you have to force her to go to Wooyoung's party.”

“I think it will be strange for me to apologize after what I told her, and I don't think she would go to that party, even if I asked her to.” You roll your eyes annoyed, you hate it when people put ‘buts’ on your orders.

“It's not a suggestion, it's an order, Hongjoong.” He stiffened at your harsh tone “That little bitch will be more than happy if you talk to her again. You got her in the palm of your hands, and you have to take advantage of that, baby.”

Hongjoong blushes at the pet name “If you ask her for something, she will do it without asking. And do you know why?” You bring your face close to his, noticing his cute features. He swallows nervously. Having you so close was always his dream, but now that he has you in front of him, he feels his cheeks burning. Faced with no response, you decide to continue.

“Because she knows you're cute and smart, and she likes you so much that she'll do anything to get your attention. Sounds familiar?” You smile when you feel his gaze go from your eyes to your lips. “If I was her, I would do the same too.” You whisper, raising your hand to cover his cheek, giving light caresses with your thumb that make him close his eyes in satisfaction.

“After all, underneath all those horrible clothes is an interesting boy and I hope to take advantage of him.” He opens his eyes suddenly, your words meaning more than they should “So? Will you follow my orders or not?”

“Of course I will,” He responds immediately “I promised you that I would do anything for you.”

For you or for being popular?

“Good, see you tomorrow night.”

You pat his cheek and stand up heading for the exit of the cafeteria leaving Hongjoong completely alone, processing everything you've said.

What stands out the most: You said that he is cute and intelligent and that he has potential. That's a lot more than he ever hoped for.

✮ ⋆

When the last class was over, Hongjoong quickly grabbed all his stuff and headed to the only place Dann could be at the time: the library on the third floor.

Without looking or saying goodbye to his friends, he hurried to that place and when he entered through the large doors, he could see Dann sitting on a table near the window surrounded by books and scribbling notes in her notebook.

Hongjoong walks toward her clearing his throat nervously “Hey, Dann.”

Dann looks up, surprised “Hoongjoong?” She thought that after what happened at lunch he wouldn't talk to her anymore.

“Mind if I sit?” Dann nods “Look, I wanted to talk about… you know, what happened today.”

She glances back at her notes “What about it?” She mutters while doing doodles on her notebook.

“I didn’t mean to do that, I know I’ve been acting weird since yesterday, but… I really enjoy being with you.”

“You do?” She raises an eyebrow and Hongjoong nods earnestly.

“Yeah. I mean, you’ve been there for me, and I feel bad for… not being there for you, too.”

“It did kind of suck, you know? We said we'd read the book when it was on sale.”

And he really wanted to read that book with her “I know. I messed up, and I’m sorry. I really want to make it up to you.”

Dann tilts her head, curious “How?”

Swallowing hard, Hongjoong says what you told him earlier “Come to Wooyoung’s party tomorrow night.” Hongjoong can see the confusion on her face

“A party? Joong, that’s not really our thing.”

“I know, but… it’s important to me. I think it could be fun.” He smiles nervously, scratching the back of his head.

“I don’t know, I wouldn’t fit in with those rich people.”

“You wouldn’t have to, you’d just… be there with me.” This feels so wrong and something inside of him says that you have something bad planned for tomorrow.

“With you?” Dann's cheeks flush slightly when Hongjoong nods with a smile “Okay.” She whispers, looking down at her books embarrassed.

He looked at her with shock, he didn't think it would be so easy to convince her. You were right, if he asks she will do anything for him.

“Really? Thank you, Dann!”

She smiles shyly “Thanks for saying sorry, Joong. It means a lot, I’ll see you at the party.”

“See you tomorrow.” Hongjoong nods while standing up.

Dann watches him leave, her heart fluttering even though she knows she shouldn’t get her hopes up. This doesn't mean anything, she keeps repeating to herself.

As Hongjoong walks quickly towards the exit, he feels the vibration of his phone in his pants pocket. He pulls it out quickly, and a little smile forms on his lips when he sees your name in his notifications, but that smile disappears when he reads the content.

YN♡: Have you done what I told you to do? I hope so. I can't wait to see that bitch's face when she finds out that your cute action is just a farce.

However, his cheeks turn red, and his heart pounds as he reads the following message.

YN♡: Anyway, see you tomorrow, babe ♡♡

You certainly have him in the palm of your hand, and you will take advantage of it.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Notes: Remember that this is a slow burn romance, so this is just the beginning. The best part is coming in the next chapter!!

Taglist: @m0onchild-98 @luvvvash @a-tiny-thing @cheolright @innocygnet @silenttrxxs @alliecoady98 @posseup

You can be part of the Taglist: Here

☆○☆○☆

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onecheerfulmoron · 1 month ago

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🤴God / 🫅Goddess Appeal

*Personal Observation / Experience*

What do I mean by god/goddess appeal?

Well, I believe individuals who have certain aspects, placements, or signs (which I have listed below) enforces others to view them in a positive light or show admiration. The explanation as to what causes that positive outlook can be better understood by knowing the roles of the planets or signs. You can use the examples of the planet's role from my sex appeal post to help better understand. I’m just a bit lazy sometimes, lol.

Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury/Venus conjunct Neptune

Sun/Rising/Moon/MC/Mercury/Mars/Jupiter/Neptune conjunct Venus

Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury/Venus conjunct Mars

Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury/Mars conjunct Saturn

Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct Juno

Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct asteroid Nymphe #875

Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct asteroid Psyche #16

Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct asteroid Eros #433

Sun/Rising/MC/Mercury conjunct asteroid Aphrodite #1388

*Personally I think when it comes down to asteroids in conjunction to Venus, there’s a 50/50 chance that it’s attention towards you (why people want to be in a relationship with you) or it’s all about your nature in a relationship. That’s why I didn’t include Venus for the asteroids. I never seen its effect on these asteroids. If any of y’all have, please let me know :)*

Any of those planets in Pisces, Cancer, Libra, Taurus, Capricorn and Aries.

*Personally, I find Capricorns hot and cold. So I included them in this and my sex appeal post. They carry a very dominant yet mature vibe and can be seen as hot and cute. They are the Gemini’s of appearance because of their capability to shift from being hot to cute. Example: Jennie (Blackpink), Timothée Chalamet, Zayn Malik, Kim Tae-hyung (BTS), etc.*

Any of those planets & asteroids in the 1st, 5th, 7th, 10th, and 11th house.

Trines/Opposition/Square/Sextile also apply. Conjunctions are the most powerful and/or tighter the orbs of the aspect. Orbs (0-3), the more prominent it plays out in your life. Orbs (4-7) is somewhat in the middle.

Examples:

People with Sun and/or Rising conjunct Neptune or in Pisces literally act like the Geminis of the water sign with the mindset of Libra or some. They know how to get their way around shit and don't like problems, so instead of siding with their opinion, they just go along with whatever the other person says to keep the peace. This is one of the zodiac signs I have seen as the most mutable after Libras. I never heard people saying shit about Pisces. They are usually welcomed in any type of friend groups.

Any planet in aspect with Neptune makes the individual dreamy, ethereal, and magnetic for whatever that planet represents. Ex: Sun conjunct Neptune their personality, Rising conjunct Neptune -> their features and sense of style, etc. These people are like Libra’s, but the emotional version.

Mercury conjunct Neptune individuals better sing their asses off. Many celebrities who have this are known for their voices and how beautiful they sound. Ummmm hello Ariana Grande & Jennie from Blackpink….. These people possess a voice that can influence and attract others. For instance, people with Mercury conjunct Pluto have a unique conversational style, but people with Mercury conjunct Neptune have a unique tone and voice. There was this one time I ordered pizza over the phone and man I was getting butterflies over the man who took my order. The tone of his voice was such a turn-on. I won't be surprised if he had this aspect.

I have Nymphe conjunct my Rising in the 12th house. Since nymphe is in my 12th house, the effect on others usually takes place when they get to know me, are around me, or when they talk to me. I get called adorable a lot by men and some women. I have been told by one coworker that I’m so naive and that it’s adorable. Yes, I have been a very sheltered female, lol. One day at my corporate job my coworkers were talking about Greek people, and I was like “Oh I didn’t know they still existed”. They burst out laughing and one of my coworkers yelled out “You’re so adorable…that was so cute”. Mind you, my director was behind them. I was scared I was going to get fired for being stupid. If Indians find out about me and my stupidity, they will not claim me, lol. Even when I had to take gym class in high school, I was so embarrassed to run and still am because I didn't want to look stupid. My gym teacher would always hype me up like a father. Everyone in that gym class knew our gym teacher had a special spot for me. I'm seen as a kid to adults, tho I'm 23. I honestly think because of that, I attract pedophiles. When I used to work part-time at a restaurant, a female manager (40-50yr old) who I think could be bisexual told me to make OnlyFans. She randomly told me her daughter does and she watches them. And kept pushing me to. The bartender kept telling me she has a thing for me. I also had older men (40 and up) sexualize me. A grown man touched me on my back when I went grocery shopping. The crazy thing is he did it when his son walked away somewhere. Despite being adorable and childish, this aspect has the potential to attract pedophiles. I know I'm not a kid, but my innocence and naiveness draws predators.

I have Psyche conjunct my Rising in the 1st house. I have a way of getting out of trouble, lol. It’s like people can tell I have good intentions and go easy on me. All I have to do is make eye contact, and people feel connected to me soulfully. I usually get along with men more, and they respect me more than females. If y'all know the story of Psyche dealing with jealousy from her sisters and Aphrodite. That shit ain’t wrong. I always felt as if females didn’t like me, like they were jealous. For instance, I was shocked when I found out that this girlfriend whom I had been friends with since middle school tried to copy my facial feature. She slipped up and told me on a phone call that she showed a picture of my face when she got her chin done. She said even the surgeon was shocked that my cheekbones and chin were natural. Like WTF! That's creepy man. I would never show a picture of my friend if I was trying to get something done on myself. The girl been jealous of me the entire time of our friendship and released it by getting work done. I’m not close to her like that anymore. A positive example of this aspect would be me only getting warnings from cops. One day I sped through the school zone and got caught. I pulled over, and the cop asked me what do you think will happen now. I told him my car insurance will go high. The crazy thing is I left my wallet and DL at home. I was thankfully able to find a picture on my phone and yes he let me go with a warning. Another time a police car was behind me at the traffic lights, and it was red. When the traffic light turned green, the police siren went off, and I thought there was a criminal before me. I did the same shit the guy before me did and pulled over to the grass on the right. Next thing you know I was the criminal lol. The cop asked me why I didn’t let him cross. Apparently I was supposed to because his lights were on. Yep, I used my Psyche magic trick. I made them eye contact, and I was let go with a warning. There were worse situations I got away with other people wouldn’t have, but I don’t want to get in trouble by saying it lol. This special effect affects anybody I make eye contact with when I’m in an emotional state. A blessing in disguise for sure.

Yep, I also got Eros conjunct my Rising in the 1st house. This aspect is supposed to exude sensual vibes. I have other asteroids and placements bringing in crazy shit to my life lol. I have come to the realization though that when I attempt to charm someone, my Eros emerges. I know it’s my Eros because with the other aspects and placements, they are apparent when I’m being myself, as my situation resonates with their description. Back to Eros topic-> men usually stiffen up from the tension they feel from me. I could tell from that eye contact. I know this sensation because when I was in high school, I had a crush on this dude. I would purposely turn on this innocent charm of mine, but to him, it was sexual. He got a boner in class. I can make others feel sexual around me. I don’t want to think about it, lol. Although the impact of this asteroid tends to be more sexual, it tends to be more positive and not abrupt. To simplify, I have never had a negative reaction from this aspect, but if anything, it strengthens my influence. When people feel a sense of sexual tension, they respect my space.

A girl who had Sun conjunct Venus aspect worked at my workplace briefly. Man, she drew everyone’s attention towards her. Shit, even I liked being around her. It was honestly so hard to judge her. It’s like you automatically accept people with this aspect and their energy. I’m the type of person who likes to intuitively feel out a person and can tell who I should cut off or maintain a relationship with. It’s so fucking hard to do that with people who have Sun conjunct Venus man. They can probably commit a crime and people will be like “I understand”. Crazy! People with this aspect can be celebrities and have people worship them for their identity/personality. Like Lisa Manoban (Blackpink), Tyla Seethal, Robert Downey, Dylan O' Brien, etc.

Capricorn Sun & Rising individuals have this aura about them where you got to respect them. They give off this persona of self-confidence. My cancer ass only wishes, lol. These individuals are usually the ones people be like “She comes off as bitchy” or “He must be a fuck boy”. You know how Gemini’s have this dual personality shit, and people know to stay away bc their behavior screams fake. Well, the thing is, that’s how you can describe a Capricorns appearance. They come off as cold, but when they want to, watch out for that cuteness and childlike expression. Yes, I have fallen for Capricorn risings *twice*. I also had a Capricorn friend who can pull in men that fall for her dual persona. I witnessed it first hand. She's seen as cute, but holds quite the flame.

Any planets aspecting Mars screams dominance and assertiveness. If the aspect is with the Sun then they got daddy personality, Rising then they got some manliness features or dressing sense, Mercury will be their dominant communication skill, etc. My feminine self wishes to get me some mercury conjunct Mars or MC conjunct Mars man. What a turn on. Need to stop daydreaming, lol. But seriously tho, it has Alpha effect.

#astro observations #astrology #asteroid astrology #astrology observations #astrology placements #beauty astrology #juno #psyche and eros #astrology posts #sun conjunct venus #pisces #capricorn #astro blog #astrology blog

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skzdarlings · 1 year ago

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sharing a bed ; seungmin ; sequel

masterlist.

original one-shot.

pairing: kim seungmin/reader content info: sexual content. enemies2lovers. sequel to sharing a bed one-shot linked above. morning afters. running from feelings. making reader jealous. confrontation with a creep and light violence. sexual content includes blow-jobs, hand jobs, strap-on blowjobs, 69ing, rimming, pegging, light choking. some brat seungmin and sort of brat tamer reader (kinda just likes the brat lol). word count: 7k.

Kim Seungmin, the perpetual thorn in your side and ache in your head, is torturing you.

Not the fun kind of torture, either. You had your fill of that two nights ago when a silly scheme resulted in a horny happenstance and you let yourself get carried away. Your careful control not only slipped, but fell right into the hands of someone you once disliked.

It left you befuddled in the light of the day, when you woke to Seungmin curled around you, his cheek pressing into your bicep and his leg hooked around yours. Not to mention his morning wood digging into your hip. It surfaced memories of the pretty and unexpected piercing you found there, how your idea of this guy was so so wrong. And it made you wonder what else you were wrong about, and all the ways this burgeoning something could go wrong in turn. Your thoughts spiralled.

You were no longer handcuffed, so you slipped out of bed and walked right out the front door. You hoped a walk through the brisk winter morning would help clear your mind. It did, but only momentarily. When you got back to the vacation house and ran into Seungmin, you fumbled. Badly. You meant to be pragmatic but came across dismissive. Something about how last night was the only night. Something about how you were bad at commitments. Something about being better off friends.

Seungmin was silent the whole time, letting you ramble like an idiot. Then his eyes narrowed and he laughed. It was an airy, unpleasant, and derisive sound.

“Trust me,” he said. “We will never be friends.”

“Well, fine,” you said, bristling despite the fact you were the one rejecting him. What did you care if he hated you again? You didn’t. You shouldn’t. “Good.”

It was not good. Saying it left a sour taste in your mouth and a pit in your stomach.

And despite it all, your stupid horny hindbrain did not relent, purring like a kitten when Seungmin gave you a judgemental once-over and scoffed. You could not help but remember the very different noises he made last night, again and again, in your hands and mouth, from your actions and words.

You will never look at him the same way again. You have no idea how to move forward, but you know you can never go back. Pretending nothing happened will not work for once.

It freaks you out. You are usually good at shucking attachments. His cold acceptance should not have hurt. What did you care? This vacation would end and you would go back to your own lives, right? So you let Seungmin shove past you. He ignored you for the rest of the day. When he started an argument later, causing everyone else to groan, you replied like always, but it was half-hearted at best.

Oh god, you think now, rubbing the bridge of your nose, I can’t start thinking with my damn heart.

Emotional attachments and long-term romantic liaisons never turn out well. You cut a dashing figure but your many flaws eventually find their way to the surface. It is not worth the inevitable heartbreak when someone sees under the charming mask to the real you.

Rather than suffer later, you are suffering now, brooding over a beer while doing your damnest to not look across the bar. You know you will not like what you see.

You and your friends only have a couple more nights at the vacation lodge, so you all went down to the nearby resort to drink and dance and enjoy a fun night out.

You are not having any fun, of course. You are sitting on a bar stool, all alone at the counter, in your signature leather jacket as you hunch over your drink and glare at nothing in particular.

Seungmin, on the other hand, is suddenly a dazzling socializer rather than an obnoxious stuck-up jerk like he used to be. You expected him to sit in a corner, making snarky remarks all night, but instead he has been moving from person to person, flirting with anything that breathes.

He is also wearing an obscene pair of jeans. No one else in the friend group seemed to notice, not a single eye so much as twitching in his direction, but you noticed. Oh, yeah, you fucking noticed. The second he came bounding the stairs, swinging on a stupid baggy letterman jacket like the twerpy little prep he is. His dark hair neatly combed, bangs swept off his forehead, brightening his gaze.

The jeans. The stupid fucking jeans. Straight-cut denim that has absolutely no business cupping his ass the way it does. And why does he have such a nice ass anyway? It also has no business looking that way.

Kim Seungmin. What a nightmare.

You take a swig of beer and glare at the wall. You tell yourself not to look at him. He is probably leaning over some equally prissy knob and offering to buy them a glass of milk or whatever people like them drink.

So, no. You will not give him the satisfaction. It is no coincidence that in all the time you have known him, Seungmin has never been flirtatious or promiscuous, but the second you turn him down he is slobbering all over anything that moves.

You will not let him get to you. You will not look at him. You will not react.

Except he is already getting to you. So you look over. You react.

“For fuck’s sake,” you grumble, abandoning your beer and stomping down from your stool.

Seungmin is huddled in a booth with some colossal bitch of a man. You recognize him from the other night, remembering how much time he spent harassing the bar staff. Seungmin doesn’t know that. He might be your enemy – or whatever – but you are not gonna leave the guy with that kind of jerk. And you are not secretly thrilled that you are justified in storming over there, drawing up to the table with all the aggression that has been building inside you.

You slap a hand on the table, bringing their attention to you. Seungmin gives you a once-over, then smiles that stupid smile of his, all boxy and puppyish, like you are the funniest punchline to the funniest joke in the world. There was a time you used to fantasize about swiping that smile off his mouth. You are still thinking about occupying his mouth, just not like that.

“Move along,” you say to the creep.

“Excuse me?”

He is already drunk. You can smell it as much as see it. Seungmin is looking very smug and you start to feel like he picked this guy on purpose.

Seungmin drives you crazy, he really does. One second he is all good boy, the next he is purposefully throwing himself at a creep just to get a rise out of you. You feel like he would take a running leap off the mountainside if he was inclined to a prove a point to someone. He is fearless and ridiculous and you want to hate him. You want him to be the boring two-dimensional snob you thought he was. You have no idea what to do with the complicated man in front of you.

That’s a lie, you think, meeting his gaze. You know exactly what to do with him.

You swear his eyes are twinkling. He slouches back comfortably, arms crossed.

“I told you once,” you say, tearing your gaze from him to look at the creep. “Now move along.”

“Try me.”

The guy was only bothering women and seems uninterested in Seungmin so you suspect he just wants to piss you off, but then he puts a hand on him anyway, grabbing Seungmin by the arm so suddenly that it surprises him.

Before Seungmin can shake him off, you snatch the guy by his wrist and twist. He yelps, struggling to wrestle his arm back from your iron grip. You slam him against the back of the booth.

“Touch him again,” you say, “and I will break your hand. You wanna try me?”

He opens his mouth, no doubt to spew some smelly rejoinder, but you don’t stick around for it. You grab Seungmin by the elbow and yank him out of the booth. You drag him away.

“Excuse me,” Seungmin says, not politely, ripping his arm back. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I think I’m saving your dumb ass from getting felt up by every creep on this mountain.”

“Meh-meh-meh,” he mocks, dodging when you reach for him again. “I’m having fun. I don’t need you to do anything. It’s not like you’d really care if something happened to me. Bad,” he smirks, “or good.”

He knows he has you cornered. You might have the physicality over him, but he is holding this entire scene in his hands. You can only rub your jaw and shake your head, trying and failing to remember how to act indifferent.

He has the tiniest drop of cream on his upper lip, leftover from the sugary abomination someone bought him.

You say nothing in reply to his deliberate antagonizing. You plant one hand on your hip and reach for him with the other. When he tries to dodge, you grab him by the shoulder, firmly putting him in place. He does not move the second time, standing still while you wipe a thumb across the sugary residual.

Then you push at his bottom lip, press down, flicking your thumb so it bounces back. His stare is unwavering. He is not the blushing type, but he noticeably swallows.

“Come on,” you say, zipping up your jacket. “We’re leaving. Now.”

“What if I don’t want to?” he asks.

You grab the back of his neck and drag him right up against you.

“I didn’t ask,” you say.

“Friends don’t get to make demands, dumbass,” he says, sneering the word friends. He does not wriggle away, but he does not fully surrender either. He meets your stare head-on, unmoving and unintimidated.

He is going to make you say it. He is not going to let you act sexy and charm your way out of it. He is going to stand in this bar with your hand uselessly holding his neck until you do.

“Fine,” you say. You exhale. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I said all that dumb shit. I’m a moron.”

“Yes,” he says. “You are.”

“I didn’t think it would matter that much anyway.”

“Because you aren’t the romantic type,” he says dryly.

“Because I didn’t think you’d care,” you admit. “You don’t like me and we don’t get along anyway. I just—” You finally drop your hand, waving at nothing and looking away. You can feel him glaring at you. “Look, I suck, I get it. Believe me, I know all the ways I suck. I figured I’d spare us the mess when you figured that out so I just walked away while it was still good.”

“You’re an even bigger idiot than I thought,” he says. He is still frowning at you. “I already know how much you suck. It was the first thing I noticed, you arrogant, womanizing ass.”

“Hey now…”

“You’re vulgar and loud and, for someone without a dick, you think with it constantly.”

“I… don’t…” You do.

“And for some reason even though you are the biggest idiot and the worst person I have ever met,” he says, still glaring, “I still like something about you. Because even though you’re determined to not let anyone see your good side, unfortunately you have one. Even though it’s buried so deep you have to walk into hell to find it.”

It did not really occur to you that Seungmin has already seen your worst qualities. Because you did not get along, you never felt a need to hide those attributes. Inadvertently, you have been more open and honest with this annoyingly handsome brat than anyone else you have ever known.

You cannot help the smile tugging at your lips. Seungmin rolls his eyes.

“You’re hopeless,” he says, shaking his head as he shoves past you. “Take me home, idiot, before I come to my senses.”

You turn to follow him, only to get bopped on the nose when he shoves a pointed finger in your face.

“If you even think about acting like a moron in the morning,” he says, “I will kill you and make it look like an accident.”

You draw a cross over your heart and nod. He huffs in aggravation, turning on his heel and stomping outside.

“You’re the worst,” he says. He swings open the door and stomps into the snowy night, seemingly unbothered by the fluffy bits of snow swirling around his face. He just swings up his hood and marches through the downy white carpet. “You better make this worth my while,” he says.

Your eyes are on his ass in those jeans, thinking about how you very much will be making it worth his while. You look up when he keeps grumbling to himself, a marked sign he is maybe more nervous than he is letting on. You remember his stubbornness before his eventual acquiescence, the way he hid his face at his most vulnerable moments.

You might be in the habit of ducking out the door, but he deflects just as much with his wit.

You hurry your pace, catching up to him. He is still muttering to himself, head down, a soft layer of snow dusting his jacket and hood. It must be all over your head but you hardly feel the cold. Your mind is on warmth, that stupid heart of yours suddenly flooded with it.

You want this to be good for him, even if he would never outright ask for you to be kind. It is all the more reason to make sure you are. You really were such an idiot.

Your grip is firm but not rough, hand curling protectively over his shoulder. This touch invites more than demands.

He stops in place, looking at you with a wary glare. It disappears when you swoop in. His hood falls as you tug him close. He goes without protest, lips parting under yours with a claiming so heated that the cold does not stand a chance against you.

You try to keep it romantic, a rare act of restraint on your part, but the supposed good boy drags the zipper of your coat down, down, down, then grabs your belt and tugs. You stumble, uncharacteristically shaky, gasping against his lips when he grinds his knuckles against the zip of your jeans.

“Tsk,” he says, lips still brushing yours. “Not prepared.”

“I was planning on sitting around feeling sorry for myself,” you say, with a helpless laugh despite his teasing. You grab his wandering hand, leading it away from your crotch. You are eternally grateful your dick is the kind you can leave in your sock drawer, because resisting him right now would have been impossible otherwise.

“Trust me,” you say. “I’ll make up for it.”

“Fine,” he says. “I will. You better not let me down.” He looks at you when he says this, as close to imploring as Seungmin ever does.

You feel the weight of that trust. You nod, swallowing, looking at his lips, full and pink from the hard press of your kiss. You lean in for more when he abruptly zips your coat again, all the way up to your chin so he smacks your jaw.

“Come on then,” he says with that mean little laugh as he scampers away, grinning at you. “Are you gonna prove it or not?”

It is a short drive back to the cabin, and a torturous one to boot. Not because Seungmin touches you, but because he doesn’t, and he won’t let you touch him either. You try to put a hand on his knee but every attempt is rebuffed. All you get is that cheeky grin or a glare, then a mere flick of his wrist as he brushes you away like lint.

Somehow it is more maddening than a direct touch. You can feel him everywhere just by his proximity. He even jumps out of the car before you unbuckle your seatbelt. He is inside the cabin before you reach the door.

You are panting from the sprint up the driveway, trying to keep up, not entirely convinced he won’t play you for a sucker and run right out the back door. It would be like Seungmin to make you chase him up the mountainside. You wouldn’t blame him for making you prove yourself, considering what an ass you were.

But he is waiting inside the cabin. Everyone else is out for the night and should be gone for hours. When you close the door, sealing out the cold and the world, this cabin feels flush with more heat than you know what to do with.

You do not hesitate. The tantalizing promise of more is like a touch on its own, heightened by his stubborn refusal to give you anything easily. It makes catching him that much more satisfying, that soft sound all the sweeter when you pull him into your arms and finally steal that kiss.

His skin is cool from the weather but his mouth is warm, the kiss searing hot. He digs his blunt nails into the arms of your jacket, pressing the whole length of his hard body against yours.

You remember his unexpectedly tender places, how just a faint stroke behind his ear will have him curling into you, how looping some hair around your fingers and tugging will deepen the rumbling sound that spills past his lips.

You unzip his coat while kissing, licking into him while he scrambles to help strip. The coat hits the floor in a damp heap. You separate for just a moment, giving him the chance to tug his hoodie up and off. You toss your own jacket over the nearby couch, then hook your fingers into his belt loops and pull him close.

His hair is in an endearing state of dishevelment and he looks flushed from the rush of warmth after the chill. Just looking at him like this has you throbbing. You try to imagine telling the old you that you would feel that way, that the annoying friend-of-a-friend who mutually hated your guts would be looking at you like he wants to devour you and let you return the favour.

You can’t imagine believing it. Now it feels completely natural, letting him walk you backwards until your back hits the wall and his chest is pressed to yours, rising and falling with the quickness of his breath.

He is looking aside, contemplatively. You cup his jaw and draw him back to you, unable to resist a breathless laugh when he nips at your fingers. You do not shy away or let go, and that seems to placate him. He practically melts against you, your hand curving around the shape of his cheek, lowering to curl gently around the side of his neck.

“We should go upstairs,” you say. The stairs are right beside you, but somehow the bedroom seems too far.

Impossibly, ridiculously far, when Seungmin flicks some hair out of his eyes and looks at you intensely.

“Don’t you want me on my knees?” he asks.

Your response is not a real word, just a rough sound. He smirks, but is still flushed and a little shaky as he sinks onto his knees. He gets your belt open, tugs it free, and tosses it to the side. The sight of him licking his lips has you seeing stars before he even leans in.

You brush some of his hair back, looking down at his face as he focusses on unzipping your jeans. He has the fly down when you catch your breath and your senses.

You gather the hair at his nape in your fist and tug, firm and sharp. His mouth falls open and his breath stutters, eyes so dark and lips so wet and plush that you are tempted to drive his face right between your legs, where is obviously offering to be.

But that’s not how you want to do this, not yet. You move from his hair to his neck, wrapping your hand around his throat and watching his eyelashes flutter with surprise. There is always a breath of panic in that surprise, adrenaline fueling the flood of desire that follows. He is visibly hard, straining in those sinful jeans, breathing harder as you none-too-nicely push him down onto the stairs.

“What are you doing,” he says, though it sounds like less like a question than acceptance. Continue, waving his hand like a prince on silk sheets even though he is sprawled on his back on the staircase.

“Making it worth your while,” you say. He is not wearing a belt because these jeans are made for his body, snug and perfect and fitted everywhere, so it is just a matter of unbuttoning—

Oof.

He plants his foot on your chest like last time, pushing you back. He blinks innocently.

“Shoes first,” he says.

You smile, though it less playful than predatory, a promise in the flash of your teeth. You nonetheless obey his silly whim as you tug off one shoe than the other. It leaves a damp patch on your shirt which he remarks on. You roll your eyes but tug your shirt off, sports bra following.

The second time you push him down, you are even less nice. You gather his hands in yours and pin them above his head, holding him there when he squirms ineffectively.

“You’re kind of a brat,” you say, yanking his zipper down. “Anyone ever tell you that?”

“You,” he says, panting around the word. “Jerk.”

You laugh, then cover his mouth with yours, swallowing the moan that takes him by surprise. His hips buck towards you when you reach into those jeans to take him in hand. He wriggles in your hold, arms straining while his hips lift toward you for more, following the snapping rhythm of your hand. You trace the dick piercings that caught you by surprise last time, the metal smooth under your rolling thumb.

You only release him when you duck down, tasting for yourself, relishing in the sounds that spill out of him. He claws at your bare shoulder, spreading his legs to make room for you to lay between them. His head falls back, resting on the step above while you work him in your mouth.

“I’m—I’m—” His voice gets lighter, breathier, his orgasm hitting him all at once. He throws an arm over his face instinctively, head thrown back, hips lifting. It catches you by surprise, making you choke just a bit, but he is already coming so you ride it out.

He is still twitching when he finishes, gasping behind his arm when you roll a thumb around his piercing again. When he hisses, knees jerking, you let go.

Knowing him better than you ever thought you would, you move, stretching out alongside him. You tug him into your arms and he goes without hesitation, burying his face in your neck. You snake a hand under his shirt, stroking his back affectionately.

Once more, you are genuinely endeavouring to be sweet.

Once more, he shoves his hand down your pants.

“Hello—” It is all you manage before he is touching you, finding all that wet desire and rubbing a little haphazardly. It makes you laugh and you grab his wrist, slowing him down. “Easy,” you say, showing him a better pace. “Just like that is good.”

He learns quickly. It was the same last time. Every idea you introduced, he contemplated, experimented, then excelled. With just a nudge now, he skillfully obliges. He is breathing hard against your throat, pressed so close to your whole body, his fingers finding all your secrets and working them out. You slide a hand down his backside, squeezing a handful of his ass. The sound he makes has you coming faster than usual.

He puts his hand on your thigh, then lifts his head and grins at you.

“I’m still winning,” he says.

“It’s still not a contest,” you reply, quirking an eyebrow.

“It is,” he says. “And I’m winning.”

“I see.”

You scoop him into your arms and cart him up the stairs. He situates himself by the time you reach the bedroom, legs around your waist and arms around your shoulder.

“Still winning?” you ask.

“Obviously,” he replies.

You shake your head and sigh but with no real animosity, just like his smirk is more playful than vicious. You still whole-heartedly believe he is capable of catching you off guard, so you are prepared for the brat switch to flip at the slightest provocation.

You drop him onto the bed with a gentle thump, then cross your arms and look down at him.

“Can I leave you unsupervised for two minutes while I get my dick?” you ask.

“I don’t know,” he says, blinking innocently. “Can you?”

“Probably not,” you say, but retreat nonetheless. Your equipment is in your travel bag. You left it behind when you went to the bar because you were not in the mood for a hook-up, which should have been the first sign you were hopeless. You were already in waters far too deep when you tried reaching for that shitty life preserver. Learning to swim is not easy but infinitely more rewarding.

You change into packing boxers and tuck your toy into it, buttoning up the pocket. You grab some lube and a towel, then walk back to his bedroom, certain that he has somehow caused trouble in the five minutes it took to do all that.

He’d naked. Of course he is. Sitting where you left him, perched on the edge of the bed, but his clothes are folded in a pile on the dresser and he has nothing but a bedsheet pulled over his lap. He is not wearing his usual cheeky expression, though, and you are about to ask if something is wrong. Then he says, “I’ve never done this before.”

“Oh,” you say. “That’s fine.” It is the unthinking response, automatic as the admission is not too surprising. You live in a world where strap-ons and gender games are the norm, so sometimes you forget that most people consider it inherently kinky or an anomaly. A lot of men are new to it. Seungmin didn’t even know what was packing was when you first mentioned it.

But then he says, “Any of it.”

And you say, “Huh?”

“I’ve never done,” he says slowly, “any of this.”

“Any.”

It takes a long minute to compute. You think about his clumsy touches and experiments followed by his quick learning. Unabashed and unjudgmental regardless of what he encountered. Testing and figuring himself out just as much as you.

“Oh,” you say. Then, “Oh. Fucking shit. I’m such an asshole.”

Because that was his first time doing anything with someone, and you just walked out the door without a word the next morning.

He does not look upset about it anymore. In fact, he laughs, though he tries to hold it back. It turns into a snort he barely catches, amused eyes gazing up at you.

“Yeah,” he says. “You are. We already knew that.”

“I really, I just—”

“Can you shut up and come take my virginity before I get beatified for involuntary chastity?”

“But you’re so fucking hot,” you blurt.

It is obviously not the retort he anticipated, because he blushes profusely, which is not the response you expected.

He clears his throat and looks away, rolling his eyes to compensate for the obvious vulnerability.

“Thanks,” he says. “Stating the obvious. I’m also picky. And apparently I scare people.”

“Scare them?” you ask, quirking an eyebrow. “Who’d be scared of you?”

“Evidently not you,” he says. His tone is snarky but he looks at you, up and down, and the look is a thoughtful one. “Not ever.”

Agh. There’s that heart again, pounding away. Who knew that thing could race so fast.

“Well,” you say, finally putting the bottle and towel on the bedside table. “That is their loss. Not everyone is built for chasing luxury, I guess.”

“Luxury,” he says with another snort, grinning despite himself. “I’m high-end,” he says it like a fact, not a question.

“Naturally,” you say, approaching where he is sitting.

“I’m going to be honest,” he says, eyes wandering your body before landing on your face. “I thought you were going to be weird and egotistical about being with a virgin.”

It suddenly pings in your head that you are his first, that there is a certain responsibility that comes with that. That the wrong person could make this terrible for him. That you want to make sure it feels better than anything he could dream. These thoughts are completely and truly unselfish.

And there is one admittedly egotistical and selfish thought, of making him irrevocably yours with one really good fuck.

He glares when he sees the look on your face, his lips pursed, though a breath of a laugh escapes nonetheless.

“Wow!” he says. “You’re a pig, go away.”

“No, no, I’m not, I swear!” you say, laughing.

He laughs too but shakes his head, pushing you away when you reach for him. “No way,” he says. “You and your ego. Gross.”

“Please, I promise,” you say, getting on your knees and lacing your hands together like a praying supplicant. “I’ll be so normal,” you say. “I have no ego at all.”

“You’re the worst,” he says dryly.

“Yeah, but…” You wiggle your eyebrows at him. “You kinda like me anyway, right?”

It is a more vulnerable question than you thought it would be. It prompts him to look at you, really look at you, before he huffs and rolls his eyes.

“Unfortunately,” he says.

You giggle and he swats your head.

“Are we just going to sit here all night and look at each other?” he asks, crossing his arms.

“No, no, of course not,” you say. You get back on your feet, standing bedside so you are looming over him.

“What are we doing then?” he asks.

“Well, you know what we’re doing,” you say, laughing when he rolls his eyes and huffs again.

You reach out, cupping his face in both your hands and guiding him to look up at you. Your heartbeat hammers away not only in your chest but everywhere else, a rapid current of heat that thunders most prominently between your legs as shiny dark eyes gaze up at you amorously from such a suggestive vantage.

“First, before anything else, this.” You speak in a lower voice, watching his spine straighten as the sound. You run your thumb across his bottom lip like you did earlier, except this time it is a bruised pink from kissing. It really makes you feel like that extra weight in your boxers is coming to life, connected to you intimately, ready and wanting as you are. Especially when you tug on that bottom lip, when he leans towards your hand like he needs it, needs you.

“Now,” you say. “Now I want you on your knees.”

There is a sharp intake of breath before he nods, subtly, then shifts. The sheets falls away from his lap, revealing he is already half-hard again. There are goosebumps along his skin, from his nudity and the chill or just anticipation.

Last time, he needed almost no direction. He followed his own instinct, logically deducing that the part of the toy you could feel was the part at the base, closest to your body. He uses his usual deductions when unbuttoning your boxers, taking a second to first press the base of the toy against you before leaning back and opening his mouth.

It is not easy to come like this, but you are so worked up that it might happen. It does not matter if you do. It is not always about chasing the perfect orgasm. This time, it is touch and sensuality. He lets you teach him, rather than stampeding like last time. You wonder if his heart is pounding given how red the tips of his ears are, blood rushing everywhere in a hurry. You hold his face and slide back and forth, taking your time getting wet, both yourself and the toy, pushing him a little further each time.

When his mouth is full and he blinks slowly, contently, every bratty remark and combative tone far from his mind, you smile and tug his hair. He moans and you push a little more, gliding back and forward again.

“You’re a fast learner,” you say. “Bet you could get used to this.”

It is a testing tease, to great success if the returned moan is anything to go by. He squeezes his eyes shut and starts touching himself, finally moving his head instead of letting you guide him. Before he gets too lost in the rhythm, you ease him back. You smile and rub your thumb across his shiny lips as he blinks up at you.

“Come here,” you say, and kiss him.

He falls into the kiss, arms wrapping around you as you lay down with him. He is eager in the searching heat of the kiss, long and deep and hungry. You get on your back and pull him on top of you, give him one more drawn-out kiss with a filthy wet lick into his mouth, then smile.

“Turn around,” you say. “Keep going.”

It takes him a second to work out what you mean, but he really is a fast learner. Soon he is laying on top of you, face where it was before, mouth wrapping around the end of your dick and his fingers searching beneath it to stroke you directly.

You snatch the lube off the table and wet your fingers then him, taking it slow and easy, using your mouth and spit then more lube until everything is slippery and he gives in so easily into you. He is breathing hard down between your legs, resting his cheek on your thigh and no longer using his mouth on you. His eyes are closed and his hips are rocking, focussed on the sensations that you are certain are overwhelming him.

You move him around, at which point he comes to attention, looking back at you. This is the quietest he has ever been, all the action in his heart as you expected; you can feel it racing when you touch his chest.

You lay him down in front of you, sidling up behind him. You lay a hand on the wildly fluttering race of his pulse, throat cupped in your palm. You turn his face to kiss him, your wet hand stroking your wet dick. You probably should have thrown that towel down before getting started. The sheets are a mess already.

“Ugh, hurry up,” he says, reaching back to smack your thigh. “You’re the worst. I hate you.”

You laugh. Oh well. No time to worry about bedsheets. You give his throat a gentle squeeze and smile at the noise he makes, strained and needy, his hips rearing back into you.

“What?” you ask, sliding the toy down his backside. “You want something?”

“I will bury you in the mountain pass,” he says. “They’ll think it was a skiing accident. And that you got mauled by a bear. And eaten by wolves. And—”

To be honest, having him distracted and rambling is for the best. It means he is more relaxed, not so focussed when you finally start pushing in. Of course, he feels it pretty fast, and instinctively rebels. You stop clutching his throat and hold an arm across his chest instead, holding him protectively and kissing that sweet spot behind his ear. His groaning turns into a whine.

“Okay?” you ask.

“Gonna kill you,” he says.

“That a yes?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you.” You hook a hand under his leg and pull it up, giving yourself leverage, then fuck into him completely. His whine turns to a sharp yelp, hand scrabbling against the arm on his chest. You let him catch his breath and adjust. “Still okay?”

“It’s weird,” he says.

“Bad weird?”

“No,” he says. “It’s… it’s good. It’s just…” You move a little and his whole body clenches then loosens. He makes a strangled noise but softens in your arms, though his nails have dug a pretty picture into your skin. You are surprised he hasn’t drawn blood. “Ugh,” he says. “It’s so wet. I feel like a river rafting ride.”

“Not… what most people usually say… but okay…”

“I’m… not… most people.”

“No,” you say, kissing that spot again and finally moving your hips. “You’re not.”

You are not sure if his little sound of submission is in response to your actions or your words, but with it he seems to all at once open to you. You find a rhythm, holding his hand when his fingers search for yours on his chest. He ends up biting your arm, which you should have seen coming, but it’s fine because you leave a visible bite mark on his neck in return.

At that he gets into it, meeting the pace you set, altering it to what he wants. It is a good thing the house is empty because you are not quiet at all. If your fooling around was enough to send an aggravated Minho storming after you, then this probably would have led to him burning the cabin down.

The thought makes you snicker, which makes Seungmin ask what is so funny, so you tell him then he laughs too.

“Ugh, stop making me laugh,” he says.

“You can laugh while making love,” you say, kissing his neck. “It’s okay.”

That does not make him laugh but it does make him sigh. “Making love, huh,” he says dryly. “That doesn’t sound like you.”

“It didn’t,” you say, finding another sweet spot that has his whole body rearing into yours. “I guess I’m a fast learner too.”

“Ew, you’re so annoying,” he says, but squeezes your fingers in his hand.

“I think you’re not getting fucked right if you’re still this bratty,” you say playfully, prompting him to roll his eyes.

“What are you gonna do about it? Make love at me? Sap.”

You laugh, kiss his neck, then move away to roll him onto his back. He wriggles a bit, surprised with the change and sudden emptiness. His legs part easily when you move between them, but you still snap, “Spread. Good.” Because it makes him swallow hard, his dark eyes sparkling and his mouth bruised, hair mussed and body flushed. He is already a fucked out sight, but he wants more, and you give it.

You snap your hips together and fuck into him. This time you do hold his throat, gently, not repressing air but showing control. He holds your forearm with both hands, his face scrunching up, eyes closed as he focusses in that intense way of his. He breathes hard, makes sweet sounds, and not a single antagonistic or bratty word leaves his pretty mouth.

“I think I’m finally winning,” you tease, to which he just makes a hiccupping sound of pleasure. “Yeah, that’s right.”

You hold his ridiculously pretty dick and give it the expert treatment it deserves. The combination of sensations has him throwing his head back, clawing your arm as you work him in your head. You cannot feel the end of the toy, but there is a magic in this kind of fucking, and when he comes and he clutches your arm and he screams your name, when the muscles in his abdomen clench and you know he is feeling sensation in every part of his body, you can feel him wrapped around you, wholly and completely, like you could feel him when he wasn’t even touching you at all.

He writhes almost desperately as you keep touching him until he can’t take it anymore, then you ease him down and pull back.

“Good?” you ask, sitting back, looking down at him, blissfully fucked out and dishevelled.

“Yes,” he murmurs. “I won. Again.”

“Gonna need to supply me with that rubric one of these days,” you say.

“Meh-meh-meh,” is the half-hearted retort, delving to a sleepy sigh.

“Gotta take care of yourself before you go to sleep,” you say, though you have a feeling it’s a losing battle, his eyelids already heavy.

“That’s what you’re for,” he grumbles.

That damn heart really does have a mind of its own. It has clearly decided to make its presence known whenever it damn well pleases.

You run your fingers through his messy hair, smiling when he blinks up at you.

You tidy him up then scoop him into your arms to carry him to your bed, because that one is not a filthy sex nest. He wakes a little on the journey. And when you lay down and pull a sheet up, he rolls towards you and throws an arm and a leg around you, pinning you to the bed.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you say. “I promise.”

“Good,” he says. “You’re too stupid to be out there on your own.”

You laugh in spite of yourself, shaking your head, but you put an arm around him and nod.

“You’re right,” you say.

“Of course I am.” He snuggles in close and sighs. “Now go the fuck to sleep. Your dick is in the sink so you have no excuse. Good night.”

“Good night,” you say with a laugh.

I think I won too, you almost say, but decide let him believe he is the only winner for now, because he is already falling asleep with his head on your shoulder.

You can tell him in the morning.

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin smut #skz smut #skz x reader

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scarletwinterxx · 2 months ago

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benefit of friends - kim mingyu imagine

god really made this man to be the most perfect one😭 how to get your own kim mingyu (asking for a friend) lol anyways hope you like this one!

for my other svt fics, check them here

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(pic not mine, credits to rightful owner)

You’ve always been good at compartmentalizing.

Work is work. Fun is fun. Feelings? Well, they’re like those receipts stuffed into your wallet... you’ll deal with them later.

Your arrangement with Mingyu, your ridiculously handsome coworker-turned-“friend-with-benefits,” was supposed to fall neatly into the “fun” category.

No strings, no expectations, no messy emotions.

But tonight, at the company dinner, you’re beginning to realize that neatly labeled boxes have a way of getting jumbled when Mingyu’s around.

The restaurant is buzzing with chatter, glasses clinking, and the hum of soft music in the background. His deep, warm laugh carries over the noise, drawing glances from everyone at your table. He’s always been effortlessly charming, with his broad shoulders, that perfect smile, and a sense of humor that’s impossible to resist.

And right now, someone else seems to have noticed.

A junior marketing associate, her name slips your mind, but she’s all bright eyes and flirty giggles. She's leaning just a little too close to him. Her hand grazes his arm as she laughs at something he said, and you swear you see her fingers linger there for a moment longer than necessary.

Your chest tightens, and you quickly take a sip of your wine, hoping the bitterness will drown the unfamiliar feeling clawing its way up your throat.

Jealousy.

It’s ridiculous, really. You and Mingyu aren’t together.

You’ve both made it clear: this is casual. Easy. No messy emotions, remember?

So why does it bother you so much when he leans in to whisper something to her, his grin widening as she laughs again?

“Are you okay?” a colleague asks, pulling you out of your spiral.

“Yeah, fine,” you reply, forcing a smile.

But your eyes can’t help darting back to Mingyu.

Later, as the group begins to thin out, people leaving one by one, you make your way to the bar for another drink.

You need something. Anything to steady your nerves. You’re swirling your glass idly when you feel someone slide onto the stool beside you.

“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight,” Mingyu says, his voice low and teasing.

You don’t turn to look at him immediately. “I’m just tired,” you lie.

“Hmm,” he hums, leaning a little closer. You can feel the warmth radiating off him, and it makes your heart race.

“Tired? Or… distracted?”

That gets your attention. You glance at him, and he’s watching you with that playful glint in his eye, like he already knows exactly what’s on your mind.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say, feigning indifference.

“Oh, don’t you?” He grins, and it’s infuriatingly attractive. “You’ve been glaring daggers at poor Mina all night.”

So that’s her name. Mina.

“I wasn’t glaring,” you snap, a little too defensively.

He laughs softly, leaning even closer until his shoulder brushes yours. “You were. And, for the record, it was kind of cute.”

“I wasn’t jealous, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“Really?” His voice drops, and suddenly the air between you feels charged. “Because it looked a lot like jealousy to me.”

You turn to face him fully, ready to argue, but the words catch in your throat when you see the way he’s looking at you—intense, his eyes flicking briefly to your lips before meeting yours again.

“Mingyu,” you start, but your voice comes out softer than you intended.

“Relax,” he says, smirking. “I wasn’t interested in her, anyway.”

Your heart stumbles over itself, and you hate how much that admission makes your pulse race. “You’re insufferable,” you mutter, turning back to your drink.

“Maybe,” he says, his voice warm and teasing, “but you like me anyway.”

The car ride home is quieter than usual. Mingyu insisted on sharing a ride, though you suspect it’s less about convenience and more about prolonging the teasing

As the car pulls up to your apartment, you hesitate for a moment. You should say goodnight and leave it at that.

But when Mingyu’s hand brushes yours as he moves to open the door, your resolve wavers.

“Want to come up?” you ask, your voice casual, though your heart is anything but.

He smiles knowingly. “Thought you’d never ask.”

Your apartment feels smaller with Mingyu in it. The tension that’s been simmering all night seems to boil over as he follows you inside, his eyes lingering on you in a way that makes your stomach flip.

“You know,” he says, his tone teasing but softer now, “if you’re going to get jealous every time someone flirts with me, we might have to renegotiate this whole ‘just friends’ thing.”

“I wasn’t jealous,” you say again, though even you don’t believe it this time.

“Sure,” he says, stepping closer. “Whatever you say.”

You roll your eyes, but before you can come up with a retort, his hand cups your cheek, and suddenly you forget how to speak.

“Mingyu,” you whisper, but he cuts you off with a kiss—soft at first, almost tentative, before it deepens. His other hand finds your waist, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you.

You don’t remember moving, but somehow you end up against the kitchen counter, his lips trailing down your neck as your hands tangle in his hair.

“You’re impossible,” you murmur, though it comes out more like a sigh.

“And yet,” he says, his breath warm against your skin, “you keep me around.”

His lips find yours again, and this time there’s no teasing, no games, just the kind of intensity that leaves you breathless and wondering how you ever thought you could keep this casual.

Later, as you lie tangled together on your couch, his arm draped lazily over your waist, you realize your carefully labeled boxes have completely unraveled.

And maybe, just maybe, you’re okay with that.

It starts at a casual get-together with some of your friends. Mingyu wasn’t supposed to come. You invited him half-jokingly, figuring he’d have better things to do on a Friday night. But to your surprise, he’d shown up, effortlessly sliding into the group as if he’d always been part of it.

And now, you wish he hadn’t.

Not because you’re upset he’s here.

Far from it.

Mingyu has a way of making everything more fun. It’s just that you’re too aware of him, standing across the room, his eyes flicking to you every few seconds like he’s keeping tabs on you.

You’re talking to a guy.

what was his name again? Jae? Jin? Mingyu thought to hinself.

The guy has clearly been angling for your attention all night but you don’t notice. You’re oblivious to the way he leans a little too close when he speaks or the way his hand brushes yours unnecessarily as you reach for your drink.

Mingyu notices, though.

From his spot by the makeshift bar, he’s gripping his glass a little too tightly, his jaw clenched as he watches the scene unfold. He tells himself it’s fine—you’re not his, and he has no right to feel this way. But when Jae-or-whatever laughs a little too loud at something you’ve said, leaning in like he’s about to touch you, something snaps.

Before he knows it, he’s crossing the room.

“Hey,” Mingyu says, his voice smooth but laced with an edge as he steps between you and Jason, casually sliding his arm around your waist. “Didn’t realize you’d made a new friend.”

“Mingyu? What are you doing?” You blink up at him, surprised

“Just thought I’d check in,” he says, his grip on your waist tightening slightly. His gaze shifts to Jason, who suddenly looks less sure of himself. “Who’s this?”

Jason clears his throat. “Uh, I’m Joon. We were just talking.”

“Talking, huh?” Mingyu says, his smile sharp. “That’s nice. But I think she’s good here.”

“Mingyu—” you start, but he’s already steering you away, his hand firm on your lower back.

You glance back at Joon, who’s standing there awkwardly, but Mingyu doesn’t let you linger. He leads you out onto the balcony, where the cool night air hits your skin.

“What the hell was that?” you ask, spinning to face him.

“What was that?” he counters, his voice low and tense. “That guy was all over you.”

“He was not!” you protest. “We were just talking.”

“You’re so oblivious sometimes, you know that? He wasn’t just talking, he was hitting on you.”

You cross your arms, irritation bubbling up. “And what if he was? It’s not like you get to decide who I talk to.”

His jaw tightens, and for a moment, he doesn’t say anything. Then he steps closer, the tension between you crackling like electricity.

“Maybe I don’t,” he says quietly, his voice dangerously calm. “But I didn’t like it.”

Your breath catches. His proximity, the intensity in his gaze—it’s overwhelming

“Why do you even care?” you ask, though your voice is softer now, less sure. His hand comes up to cup your cheek, and suddenly the world feels smaller, like it’s just the two of you on that balcony.

“You really don’t know, do you?”

Your heart pounds as he leans in, his forehead resting against yours

“I care,” he murmurs, his voice rough with something that feels too big to name, “because you’re mine.”

The words hang in the air, heavy and undeniable.

“Mingyu—”

He cuts you off with a kiss, his lips crashing against yours with a desperation that leaves you breathless. It’s not soft or tentative like before—it’s possessive, claiming, as if he’s trying to prove something to both of you.

You don’t resist. Instead, you pull him closer, your fingers fisting in the fabric of his shirt as his hands slide to your waist, gripping you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

When you finally break apart, both of you breathing hard, he rests his forehead against yours again, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know we said no feelings. No strings. But I can’t help it. I can’t stand the thought of anyone else having you.”

Your chest tightens, and for once, you don’t push him away. Instead, you reach up to trace the line of his jaw, your touch soft.

“You’re an idiot,” you say, but there’s no heat in your words. “But I guess you're my idiot.”

His smile is equal parts relief and triumph. “Damn right I am”

Back inside, the party continues without you, but neither of you cares. You end up in your apartment again, the tension between you finally boiling over.

This time, there’s no hesitation, no teasing. Just the two of you giving in to what’s been building for weeks. His hands are everywhere, mapping every inch of your skin like he’s memorizing you, and when you pull him down onto the couch, he follows without question.

“Say it again,” he murmurs against your neck, his voice rough and low as his lips trail downward.

“Say what?” you manage, your breath hitching as his hands slide under your shirt.

“That you’re mine,” he says, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. There’s something vulnerable in his gaze, hidden beneath all the confidence.

You cup his face, your thumb brushing over his cheek. “I’m yours,” you whisper, and the way his expression softens makes your heart ache.

“Good,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “Because I’m yours too.”

And this time, when he kisses you, it feels like a promise.

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kimmryokoo · 2 months ago

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Why would you love an animal like me? - logan howlet

author: kim ryoko

masterlist

summary: logan has a nightmare about all the people he has killed in the past and starts to think you deserve to be with someone better than him. luckly, you are there to tell him otherwise.

word count: 1.1k

warnings: feeling of not deserving someone, agnst, comfort, emotional dependence, nightmare/slight insomnia, slightly sub logan

author note: english isn't my first language, so i'm sorry for any grammar mistakes, feel free to correct me. also, i don't know how to feel about this fic, but i hope you like it. and i'm sorry it's short.

A nightmare… again.

But this time, it was different. I din’t dream about the wars; I had a dream about all the people I’ve killed, and God… there where so many.

Maybe I am a monster. An animal, like everyone calls me.

Well, not everybody. She doesn’t call me that. She’s too kind hearted to think that way about anyone; even me. Most times, think I don’t deserve her. That she deserves someone better than me. But she’s always there to tell me I’m wrong. To tell me that I’m actually a kind person that truly deserves to be loved. I want to believe her. I really do. But my mind is always playing these little fucking tricks on me, showing me the bad person everyone knows I am, and I slowly start to believe it’s true again. Why can’t I just live in peace?

If I lived in peace, she could live in peace too. With me.

But why would an animal live in peace?

I wake up, once again, with my claws out and a layer of sweat covering me. I retract my claws, seat up and look to my side. Shit. How can someone be this pretty even when sleeping? And just like that, all those thoughts come running back to me and I feel my heart clench. I know I’m selfish for not letting her go and have the life she deserves with someone better, but I can’t bring myself to let her go. Even in the days where one of us is out on a mission for just 1 hour, my hearts starts to ache from how much I miss her. I wouldn’t survive a single fucking day without her. I move myself a bit to seat at the edge of the bed with my head low. My heart starts beating fast again and with every second that pasts, I feel my insecurities get bigger and bigger. I know I’m fucked up when all I want right now is for the woman sleeping next to me to wake up and kiss and hug all my problems out of me. How could I ever let her go? The only thing I can do is wait for her to grow tired of me like everyone has done after their own time.

I heard the sheets moving behind me and, a few seconds later, I feel two arms wrapping themselves around me, one around my neck and one around my chest, two legs wrapping around my waist and a head snuggling itself to my neck. I smell her scent, the only one that can make me go fucking feral in less than 1 second, and, at the same time, bring me peace no one has ever been able to before.

“Why are you awake? Did you have another nightmare?” she asked and I couldn’t bring myself to answer her so I just nodded. I could only think about how she deserves someone better than an old, murderous, shitty animal.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry…” she said like it was her fault “Is there anything I can do to help you?” her sweet voice making me melt more with each passing seconds, but also hammering my heart more knowing that the person she ends up with is the luckiest person on earth and I would do anything in my power to be them. To respond to her question I just moved my head again signing a ‘no’.

As if she understood this was worst than normal, she got up and put herself standing between my legs, while cupping my face. Even with me sitting, she wasn’t that much taller than me,which is another thing I find cute i her. One of the thousands. She tilted my head slightly so I was looking at her and I almost forgot everything just by looking at her loved-filled eyes. Almost. She pulled me in for a slow and soft kiss and kissed my forehead as soon as she broke it. She then hugged my head thigh against her chest and I let myself finally enjoy the care she was giving me and relax for a moment.

“Why do you love me?”

“What do you mean, Logan?” she asked genuinely confused as if the question I asked was the stupidest thing on earth.

“Why would you love an animal like me?” I repeated.

“Don’t say stuff like that Logan, you know I don’t like it. And to answer you question, I love you because, either you believe it or not, you are the kindest, most loving person I ever met. You always put everyone else before you, even Scott. Every time you see someone struggling, or sad, you do your very best to help them. Even though you put this ‘tough guy’ look on you face everyday, deep down, you care more about people then you know. I love you, Logan, because you are always ready to give your life in exchange for someone else’s, even a total stranger’s. I don’t care about what you believe or not, or what people tell you or not, but you, James Logan Howlet, The Wolverine or whatever you want to call yourself, you will never be the animal they make you think you are.”

Fuck.

With that I held her tighter and my body started to shake. When she noticed it, she held me even closer than before and started to play with my hair and kissing the top of my head. She relished me from her grip to cup my face again and see the fear and sadness in my eyes as we held eye contact.

“I’m sorry… For burdenin’ you with all my shit problems” I said with a shaky voice.

“Oh, baby… You’re no burden and neither are your problems. I’m here to help you with all your problems the same way you are always there to help me with mine. Nobody’s perfect, but we can be better with the help of each other.”

After a long moment of comfortable silence, I start to feel sleepy in her embrace and murmur a small ‘Thank you’ and she kissed the top of my head again in return. She feels me getting sloppier in her arms and gently helps me to get in bed. She then goes to the other side of the bed and hugs me again, pulling me into her arms, burying her face in my hair and playing with the little ones at the nape of my neck and whispering how much she loved me.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I let myself believe in her and think that an animal like me actually deserves love.

Needless to say I slept like a rock for the rest of the night, finally, nightmare free.

Hope you liked it!

xoxo, kim ryoko

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orphiclovers · 4 months ago

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Rereading early ORV and I have some THOUGHTS on Kim Dokja. In typical me fashion, they are unpopular. So if he's your absolute favourite character and seeing him be criticized will ruin your day, maybe skip this post, ok? Peace.

What is so novel and interesting about Kim Dokja is that he GENUINELY doesn't really have a knee jerk emotional reaction of outrage and empathy when seeing injustice happen. He sees something immoral and bad, but doesn't FEEL horrified and disgusted. Emotions don't drive him to attempt to fix the situation or save anyone.

Instead his moral compass is based on the simple logic that 'bad things happening should be prevented if there is an opportunity to prevent them.'

This philosophy is the most apparent in his actions in Chungmuro on the WHOLE, with the food and marginalized group and etc. But I will point out this moment in particular as an example of what I mean.

They see women be driven to prostitution to survive. Jung Heewon has an instinctive, human reaction of outrage and disgust, wants to rush in and save them and damn the consequences, while Kim Dokja is calm and rational, holding her back and saying those woman will starve if they try to help right now.

This lack of empathy (feeling strong emotions) is definitely due to childhood trauma stunting his emotional development but... that doesn't change the fact this is a legitimate part of his personality now.

Usually, when a character is 'cold and ruthless', it's because they are repressing their true feelings and forcing themselves to be unfeeling for some goal. Like Yoo Joonghyuk, for example.

But we are IN Kim Dokja's head and get to see the way he thinks, and being 'unfeelingly rational' IS what comes naturally to him.

Before you say anything, I know the Fourth Wall represses some of his emotions in certain situations and certainly helps him deal with pain and horror. But we are ALWAYS TOLD when it's active, and it isn't in these moments.

Blaming all of Kim Dokja's less than moral thoughts and behavior on the 4th wall even when there's no indication that it's influencing him at that particular moment, is not something I want to do as it feels like an attempt to scrub away his moral greyness. I choose to believe that his narration, in moments when he's not wrong or biased or 4th wall-ed, is a basically accurate representation of his character. I think the authors didn't make his narration totally 100% unreliable all the time, with no possible indication of where he's wrong or right. Because that would mean there is nothing a reader can latch onto and draw conclusions about KDJ from.

If they wanted to write about a faceless self insert with no concrete personality traits and flaws, a person you can headcanon to be anything, they wouldn't have written ORV.

I think it's okay to acknowledge Kim Dokja's first reaction to seeing a woman about to be raped is not 'oh my god...those bastards...! I have to stop this...!' but '...she might be dangerous or a hinderence in a future...'

We don't need to make excuses here and try to justify this. A moment later he catches himself thinking like this and 'shudders with disgust at himself.'

His first, instinctive thoughts that he can't control don't necessarily make him a bad person. What matters is his second thoughts and what he actually chooses to do, which he CAN control. I ALSO don't think he's wrong to feel disgusted at himself for having low empathy. His guilt is justified.

I genuinely like him even more for always picking the 'moral option' in every scenario now, than if he did it immediately with no hesitation. Because it makes empathy and compassion a constant choice he's making, and putting in the effort reflects well on what his values are.

Kim Dokja legitimately can't help but weigh everyone he meets on a scale of how 'useful they potenially are' first and foremost. He does this with strangers and also with all of kimcom too.

"Who should I save because they would be useful in the future? I wasn't Yoo Joonghyuk to be thinking about these things." At this point, chap 74, he thinks Yoo Joonghyuk is wrong and doesn't want to be like him at all and mostly calls him a psychopath. He thinks 'acting like him' is wrong and undesirable.

He has a mini arc about Yoo Joonghyuk later, goes from 'he's a bad person, I know it because I know everything about him' in chap 81 to 'maybe I don't know him at all' in chap 82 but this is before that.

Seeing people as tools and deciding who to save based on future knowledge is a thing BOTH of them do. Yet Kim Dokja critisizes Yoo Joonghyuk for it, it's his least favourite character trait that YJH of TWSA has.

And in typical Kim Dokja fashion, this similarity between them is exactly what he despises in Yoo Joonghyuk - but now we find out it's not because he finds it amoral ("I'm not a humanist" - he doesn't care about that part) but because he sees it as a mirror reflection of himself. He's projecting, as always!

In early ORV, he hates the part of Yoo Joonghyuk that is the most similar to himself. (even tho they're sort of the polar opposites too. Yoo Joonghyuk is a deeply emotionally driven person, he feels empathy and the desire to save everyone but chooses to repress and ignore this and act like a ruthless 'psychopath'. KDJ disagrees with this choice, as Kim Dokja IS an unfeeling psychopath (low empathy) but does his best to act like a decent person and not an edgelord.)

#dont ask how much of 'JUST LIKE MEEEEE!!!!' i had to cut from this you wont like the answer #but yes. kdj is giving aspd realness in every chapter and im tired of pretending otherwise #kim dokja #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #my posts #oh this post was supposed to be about hsy and kdj relationship but i ran out of space lol

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rinanar · 3 months ago

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hello~~, its my first time coming here and i read your rules alr♡ can i ask for smut goo x reader? where theyre having a make-up sex lol. and if i may go into details, they loved each other so much but the problem is just too big so that the intercourse gets both steamy and emotional haha. thank u in advance!!💖💖

IM SORRY ! K.JUNGOO

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character/s : jungoo kim

type : oneshot — smut (pwlp) , fluff — f!reader

warning/s — details : size kink (I GAVE GOO SIZE KINK I HOPE THATS ALRIGHT 😓😓) , established relationship , SLIGHT dacryphilia (I hope this is alright too....frfr), creampie , argument , etc , ALL CONSENSUAL !!!

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It was unusual for you two to fight. Usually it'd just be a fake argument, something that wouldn't last long, something that isn't that serious, a banter. But he just won't listen to you this time.

You had already said—no, begged him to stop getting himself hurt, but he just won't listen.

You do love him very much, isn't that why you keep scolding him? What part of it doesn't he get?

He gets you worried sick, doesn't that upset him?

You've been trying to talk to him for weeks, but he just can't sit down and listen to your nagging.

From the moment he told you that, the way your lips quivered just broke him. He internally killed himself, or maybe he's just being dramatic again.

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He'd make it up to you, he said. He is, and it's working, too.

He had already made you cum on his fingers, on his tongue, but he knew it wasn't enough. You knew it too, but you got too impatient.

"P—pleasee..please..hng...put-put it inn..goo..why can't you..? Don't you wanna make it up to me..?" You sniffled, hugging him by his neck, your legs wide open.

"Fuck-..fuck..don't say that.." he groaned, his cock twitching from your voice, your whiny weak voice.

"..You sure..?" He mumbled, squinting his eyes, he was clearly uncertain, he knew how big he was, and that thought turned him on even more.

You nodded weakly, which earned a pinch from him, causing you to yelp, "Thought I told you to use your words, huh?" He hummed in a sing-song voice, earning a frown from you, which made him smile.

"'m sorryy..I will—I will..I can take it, I swear.." You promised, you really thought you could.

He grabbed his cock, stroking it a little before lining it up against your entrance, rubbing his tip against your slick folds, making you let out a breathy whimper.

"Just tell me if you can't take it, alright..?" He sighed, then when you gave the go signal, he slowly pushed himself in, earning a cry from you.

You bit down on his shoulder, squirming a little. It stung, fuck, how long has it even been?

He looked at you for a moment, letting out ragged breaths, feeling how tightly you were clamping down on him.

"C-can't.. can't—n..noo..t'big—" You whined, tears pricking the corner of your eyes.

He let out a shaky sigh, pausing for a moment, "Y...it's just that you're small..fuck-ing hell..you're so small.." he groaned, getting more and more turned on from the size difference, his cock twitching slightly inside you.

"You took me before, baby..you can take me again, hm..?" He panted, his hand reaching up to play with your breasts, pinching and twisting the perky nipple.

You nodded at his words, shutting your eyes close, letting tears fall. "Mh..m..fuckk..you're so cute.." he whimpered, before slowly pushing in once again.

"W..whenever..whenever I act reckless again..I..I want you to-..fuck..slap me back to reality..okay..? God- fuck.." he whimpered, his voice starting to get shaky, as you babbled with slurred words, about how it's too big, how you can't take it, but, shit, you take it so well, he thought.

"I love you—s..so much..look at how you're..t-taking me so well.." he groaned, before finally burying himself to the hilt.

"I love you a lot..fuck..I'm so sorry.." he whined against your neck, he spoke so sweetly to you, and that just made you sob even harder.

"I just..I'm so sorry..I love you, I'm sorry for yelling at you.. please.." he sniffled, waiting for you to let him move. He kissed and marked your neck, while his hand caressed your breasts, down to the back of your thighs, helping you relax around him.

Once you gave him the sign it was okay to move, he almost let out another groan at that. The sight of you crying has him weak on his knees, and the fact that there was a small bulge forming on your stomach even broke him further.

He moved slowly at first, letting your cries be swallowed by the sound of your wet, squelching noise.

"You're so small..fuck..did you know that..hm..? Baby..?" He whimpered, his hand rubbing small circles on your nub.

"S'b..bi-bigg..aahnn.." You whined, throwing your head back slightly. You could feel the ridges of his cock sliding against your walls, and it drove you crazy, like always.

It could never get old, how he whined and whimpered, how his cock slid against your walls so lewdly, and how he loves you so much.

He sniffled apologies, he whimpered them, he whined them, he keeps apologizing.

From that alone, you already forgave him.

He started to move faster, his groans turning into moans mingling with yours, the slick sound getting louder and louder, and the breathing getting heavier and ragged.

It made you dizzy, and somehow he just manages to push you even more by pressing on the bulge forming, causing you to let out a strangled whine.

He kept doing that, feeling you clench around him, feeling you tighten around him even more, implying that you were getting closer so fast.

"Mn-G-g..goo—m..'m close-'m close—..hngg..please-please don't stop..please..'m so sorryy.." You whined and begged, your tongue lolling out as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

"'M not stopping..fuck..fuck..come for me—come..fuck..cum around my cock.." He groaned, lifting your hips, hitting your spot, earning a strangled cry from you.

You cried out his name as your body convulsed, sobbing from the feeling of orgasming around his cock.

But he kept going, wanting to reach his high, too. He was desperate for it at this point, feeling you squirm and convulse around him was one thing, but looking at your pretty face after you came? God, he was done.

"'m cummingg.. m-'m..c-cumming.." He whimpered, searching for your eyes, silently begging you to let him come inside you. And you did.

You wrapped your legs around him, letting him come inside you. He started to slow down, using you to milk himself, spilling his seed into you.

There was a moment of silence, aside from the heavy breathing, but he spoke first— "I love you. I'm sorry."

It was the first time he actually apologized. But it's the first serious argument, so you'll let him off this time. Until, he continued,

"I'm not done making it up to you yet."

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a/n : sorry (hi for bad english)

#lookism webtoon #lookism x reader #lookism manhwa #lookism #lookism smut #rinanar #goo x reader #goo smut #kim jungoo #jungoo x reader #jungoo smut

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03jyh23 · 5 months ago

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🌊⌇such a lonely heart┆kim hongjoong

married, hongjoong x gn!reader

│synopsis: if you can't find another reason to stay, then i know i'm gonna always have a lonely heart

│genre: hurt no comfort, angst

│trigger warnings: emotional distress, heartbreak, relationship conflict

│words: 4.1 k

│reminder: what you’re about to read is purely fiction, so let’s keep it separate from reality.

!minors do not interact!

— hi there my lovely people! it feels like forever since i last posted, and oh god, i’m so happy to be back! my hiatus ended up lasting much longer than i intended, and coming back after such a long time is honestly nerve-wracking. this piece of writing took me a long time to complete, but i’m really proud of it. once again, it’s a hongjoong angst with a personal touch, and i think hongjoong will always have that cathartic role in my stories. i hope you guys can feel the emotions i’ve woven into it. thank you for sticking with me—i can’t wait to hear what you think.

love, mon ♡

It was late Thursday night. You were curled up on your bed, blanket wrapped tightly around you, staring blankly at the wall. It was unbearable. Was your mind numb, or was it so full of thoughts that they all clashed together, making you feel overwhelmed and empty simultaneously? You let yourself break again, letting the flood of thoughts and feelings consume you whole. You were drowning, unable to stop the spiral of despair that clawed at you.

Eighteen times.

Hongjoong ignored your calls eighteen times tonight.

And that was your breaking point.

You felt the weight of each ignored call like a stone in your chest, pressing down, making breathing hard. The silence from his end was deafening, drowning out even the sound of your own heartbeat. You wondered, with a bitter taste in your mouth, if this was what it felt like to be truly alone. It wasn't anything new, you spent your nights alone, most of them sleepless as the lack of warmth in your husband's body made it impossible to get some rest. After tossing and turning, you would eventually catch a few hours of sleep, only to wake up in an empty bed. The routine had become painfully familiar. The cold sheets on his side of the bed were a constant reminder of his absence. You'd reach out, hoping against hope, but your fingers would only meet the cool fabric, untouched and undisturbed.

Anyone would have thought you'd get used to it by now - Hongjoong leaving early for his office and coming back too late to spend time with you. But he would always text that he was doing extra hours or going out for a beer with friends. Tonight, however, was different. There was only radio silence. And nothing hurt more than the quiet. The absence of his usual messages left an ache in your chest that you couldn't ignore. You found yourself checking your phone obsessively, hoping for any sign of communication. But the screen remained stubbornly blank, a stark reminder of the growing distance between you.

As the hours ticked by, your mind raced with possibilities, each one more unsettling than the last. Was he okay? Had something happened? Or was this simply the new normal - a silence that spoke volumes about the state of your relationship?

The sound of the door creaking open finally pulled you from your thoughts. Through the narrow gap between the door and its frame, you saw a thin line of light, and then your eyes drifted up to see your husband. Hongjoong stepped into your shared apartment, his ginger hair damp from the rain. He ran his hand through it, pushing the wet strands away from his face, before peeling off his soaked beige coat and slipping off his shoes. You swallowed the lump rising in your throat at the sight of him, tears prickling your eyes again. You blinked rapidly, trying to push them back, gripping the blanket tighter as if it could shield you from the wave of emotions crashing inside you. The fabric pulled up to your chin, a flimsy barrier between you and the ache that had settled deep in your chest.

The light went out as Hongjoong moved further into the apartment, past the door of your bedroom without a word. He didn’t even glance in your direction. What was wrong? Or was he simply trying to avoid waking you, assuming you should be asleep instead of quietly falling apart? One way or another, it was far too late for him to walk back in like nothing had happened. The silence that followed felt colder than before, sinking into your already worn-out body.

You could hear him in the living room, the soft rustle of the wardrobe doors opening. Was he planning to sleep on the couch again tonight? You untangled yourself from the blanket, standing quietly before slipping out of the bedroom. The weight of exhaustion and frustration clung to you as you made your way to the kitchenette. You didn’t want to fight. Not tonight. You poured yourself a glass of cold water, grabbed the bottle of painkillers from one of the drawers, and swallowed a couple of pills, hoping they’d dull the throbbing in your head. You glanced at Hongjoong as you set the glass down. He had stopped mid-motion, his hands frozen on the pillow he was arranging on the sofa. Your eyes met briefly, the silence between you thick with unspoken words. As you had guessed, he was indeed preparing to sleep on the couch tonight. The realization sent a fresh wave of pain through your chest. You averted your gaze, unable to bear the weight of his silent stare any longer. The distance between you felt insurmountable, even though you were just a few feet apart in the same room.

You stood in the dim light of the kitchen, hands gripping the edge of the counter as you tried to steady your breathing. Then, the words you’d been holding back for too long slipped out before you could stop them. "Where were you tonight?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. The question hung in the air, heavy with the weight of all the unanswered calls and unread messages.

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself before continuing. "I called you eighteen times, Hongjoong. Eighteen. And not once did you pick up or call back. What's going on?" Your eyes met his again, searching for any sign of explanation or remorse. "Are we... are we okay?" The last question came out softer, more vulnerable, betraying the fear that had been gnawing at you all night. The words felt like they had a life of their own, carrying the weight of nights spent alone, of unanswered calls, and of the slow unraveling of something you once thought was unbreakable. You didn’t dare turn around, didn’t want to see the look on his face. Whether it was guilt, anger, or indifference, you couldn’t handle any of it.

The silence stretched longer, and every second that ticked by only made your heart sink deeper.

Finally, you heard him shift behind you, his footsteps hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure how to approach the fragile moment. The tension in the room felt suffocating, but you stood your ground, gripping the counter tighter, waiting for him to say something—anything—to break the silence.

But nothing came.

Tired. You were both tired—of the silence, of the distance, of pretending everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t. You weren’t sure how much longer you could keep this up, but at that moment, you didn’t have the strength to do anything more than stand there, waiting for an answer that might never come.

You didn’t turn around as you felt his presence behind you, the warmth of his body radiating in the small space between you. You held your breath, waiting for him to say something, to explain, to apologize—anything to break the suffocating silence that had enveloped you both. One of your hands traveled to your temple, trying to massage away the pounding headache that wouldn’t relent, as if easing the physical pain might somehow dull the ache in your heart too.

The silence dragged on, and you could feel him standing there, just out of reach, but still not saying a word. It was suffocating, the space between you filled with unspoken thoughts, unresolved arguments, and the growing distance that neither of you seemed able to close.

"I kept waiting. Waiting for you to call back, to walk through the door, to say something—anything." you continued, voice trembling as you let your hand fall from your temple, now gripping the edge of the counter again.

Hongjoong let out a breath behind you, but it was small, almost inaudible. You could sense his guilt, but guilt alone wasn’t enough to bridge the gap. "I didn’t know what to say," he admitted softly, his voice barely above a whisper, and you could hear the weight of his own struggle in it.

"You didn’t know what to say?" You turned around slowly, finally meeting his eyes. Your own were burning, a mixture of exhaustion, anger, and desperation swirling together. "Do you think that makes it any better? That just... ignoring me was the right thing to do?"

He looked down, running a hand through his damp hair again. His hesitation was killing you. You needed him to fight for this, to fight for you.

The silence stretched between you, thick and heavy. Hongjoong's eyes finally met yours, a storm of emotions swirling in their depths. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words seemed to catch in his throat.

"Are you giving up on us?" The words tumbled out of your mouth, raw and vulnerable. Your eyes searched his face, desperate for any sign that he still cared, that there was still something worth fighting for.

Hongjoong's eyes snapped up to meet yours, a flicker of pain crossing his features. For a moment, he looked as lost and scared as you felt. The silence stretched between you, heavy with unspoken fears and fading hopes. "I..." he started; his voice barely audible. He swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words. "I want a divorce, Y/N," Hongjoong finally said, his voice cracking slightly as he forced the words out.

The world seemed to stop spinning for a moment. You felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving you gasping. Your eyes widened in disbelief, searching his face for any sign that this was some cruel joke. But all you saw was a mixture of pain, guilt, and resignation in his eyes.

"What?" you whispered, barely able to form the word. Your hands gripped the counter behind you, needing something solid to hold onto as your world crumbled around you.

Hongjoong took a deep breath, his shoulders sagging as if the weight of his words was physically pulling him down.

You felt tears welling up in your eyes, a lump forming in your throat. All those ignored calls, the nights spent alone, the growing distance - it all suddenly made sense in the worst possible way. The realization hit you like a tidal wave, leaving you struggling to stay afloat in the sea of emotions threatening to drown you.

"A divorce?" The word felt foreign on your tongue, heavy and bitter. You shook your head, tears now flowing freely down your cheeks. "How... how long have you been thinking about this?" Your voice was barely above a whisper, trembling with the weight of your shattered world.

Hongjoong's eyes flickered with a mix of guilt and sadness as he answered, his voice low and strained. "For a while now... I've been trying to find the right moment, but there never seemed to be one." He paused, running a hand through his hair, a gesture that once seemed endearing but now felt like a painful reminder of what you were losing.

The words hit you like a physical blow, and suddenly, all the pain and frustration you'd been holding back came rushing to the surface. Your eyes flashed with anger as you stepped towards him.

"Empty promises," you spat, your voice quivering with emotion. "Is that what our vows meant to you? Because I meant every single word, I said on our wedding day!" Hongjoong flinched at the intensity of your words, but you couldn't stop. The floodgates had opened. "I said I wanted to spend forever with you, Hongjoong. Forever! And I meant it with every fiber of my being. But for you? Were they just pretty words to say in front of our families and friends?" Your voice cracked, tears streaming down your face. "I promised you my life, my love, my everything. And you're throwing it all away like it meant nothing. Was any of it real for you?"

The silence that followed was deafening, heavy with the weight of broken promises and shattered dreams.

Hongjoong's shoulders slumped, his eyes cast downward as if he couldn't bear to meet your gaze. The weight of your words hung in the air between you, a tangible reminder of the promises made and now broken. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper, filled with a mixture of regret and resignation. "It was real," he said, his voice barely audible. "But sometimes... sometimes love isn't enough." He paused, swallowing hard before continuing. "We've grown apart, Y/N. We're not the same people we were when we made those vows."

"Don't bullshit me now, Hongjoong! It was two years ago! Two years!" Your voice rose, trembling with a mixture of anger and disbelief. "Why did you even bother to fucking marry me if you were going to give up so easily?" Your words echoed in the small space between you, raw with emotion. Your hands were clenched at your sides, your whole body shaking with the force of your outburst. The tears that had been threatening to fall now streamed freely down your face. You searched Hongjoong's face, desperate for any sign that this was all a mistake, that he didn't really mean what he was saying. But all you saw was a mixture of guilt and resignation in his eyes, and it only fueled your anger and hurt more.

Hongjoong took a deep breath, his eyes meeting yours with a mix of sadness and determination. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I truly am. I didn't marry you with the intention of giving up. I thought... I thought we could make it work. But we've changed, grown apart. The passion, the connection we once had... it's not there anymore." He paused, running a hand through his hair. "I've tried, we've both tried, but it feels like we're just going through the motions. Don't you feel it too? The distance between us, even when we're in the same room?" His voice softened, a hint of vulnerability seeping through. "I didn't want to hurt you, but I realized that staying in a marriage that's lost its spark would hurt us both more in the long run. You deserve someone who can love you fully, completely. And I... I'm not that person anymore." Hongjoong's eyes glistened with unshed tears as he continued, "I know it's not fair. Two years isn't a long time, but it's been long enough for me to realize that we're not making each other happy anymore. And isn't that what marriage should be about? Happiness, growth, mutual support?" He took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you needed me to be. I'm sorry I couldn't keep the promises I made. But I think... I think we both deserve a chance at real happiness, even if it means not being together."

You were at a loss for words, the reality of the situation sinking in. Finally, you managed to speak, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with emotion. "No, I don't feel it too. What I feel is the desperate longing for you when you're not here. I love you, it never changed." You realized, with a crushing finality, that you would never hear him say he loves you again.

Swallowing hard, fighting back a fresh wave of tears, you spoke again, your voice hollow. "I'm going to pack my bags."

As you turned to leave, you felt a hand grasp your arm gently. Hongjoong's touch, once so familiar and comforting, now sent a jolt of pain through your heart. "Y/N, please..." His voice was barely above a whisper, filled with a mixture of desperation and regret. You froze, your back still to him. For a moment, you allowed yourself to feel the warmth of his hand, to remember all the times that touch had brought you comfort. But the pain of his words, the finality of his decision, was too fresh.

With a sharp intake of breath, you pulled your arm away, stepping out of his reach. You couldn't bear to look at him, afraid that if you did, you might crumble completely. "Don't," you managed to say, your voice trembling. "Just... don't." Without turning back, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper but filled with cold finality, "You can tell your lawyer to bring the papers to my parents."

The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of your shattered dreams and the future that would never be. You didn't wait for a response, couldn't bear to hear whatever Hongjoong might say. Instead, you walked away, each step feeling like it was taking you further from the life you had once imagined, towards an uncertain and lonely future.

You packed your bags in a hurry, the silence broken only by the rustling of clothes and the soft thud of items being hastily tossed into your suitcase. Your hands trembled as you gathered the necessities, your mind a whirlwind of emotions.

As you made your way to the door, you paused, your hand resting on the cool metal of the doorknob. Despite the pain coursing through you, you couldn't help but turn for one last look at the man you loved—still love. Hongjoong sat on the sofa, his head buried in his hands, eyes fixed on the floor. The sight of him, so defeated and lost, sent a fresh wave of anguish through your heart. For a moment, you stood there, memorizing every detail of this final scene, knowing it would be etched in your memory forever.

With a deep breath, you reached into your pocket and pulled out your keys. The metal felt cold against your skin, a stark reminder of the life you were leaving behind. You walked over to the drawer near the entrance, your steps echoing in the heavy silence. As you placed the keys on the drawer, they made a sharp, metallic cling that seemed to reverberate through the apartment. The sound was jarring in the stillness, causing Hongjoong to snap his head up, his eyes meeting yours for a brief, intense moment.

That single sound seemed to encapsulate everything - the end of your shared life, the finality of his decision, the irreversible nature of what was happening. It was as if that small noise had shattered the last remnants of the world, you once shared.

Hongjoong's voice broke through the silence, barely above a whisper, but filled with a mixture of regret and desperation. "Y/N, wait..."He stood up, his eyes pleading. "I... I never meant for it to end like this. Please, don't leave this way—you don't have to go." His words were mumbled out quickly, a desperate need in them that you couldn't quite understand. The sudden shift in his tone caught you off guard, making you pause at the door. You turned slightly, not fully facing him, but enough to show you were listening.

You felt a mix of emotions wash over you - anger, hurt, confusion. Part of you wanted to turn and run, to escape this painful situation. But another part of you needed answers, needed to understand how things had fallen apart so quickly. With a deep breath, you steadied yourself and turned to face Hongjoong fully. "What do you mean, don't leave this way?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. "You just told me you want a divorce. What other way is there to leave?"

Hongjoong got up from the sofa and took a few quick steps in your direction. His expression faltered, a mix of guilt and uncertainty crossing his features. He took a hesitant step towards you, his hand reaching out but stopping short of touching you. "I... I don't know," he admitted, his voice barely audible. "I just... I can't bear the thought of you walking out that door, even though I know I'm the one who caused this." His words hung in the air, heavy with contradiction. You felt a surge of anger mixed with confusion, your emotions threatening to spill over. Taking a deep breath, you steadied yourself, your grip tightening on your suitcase handle.

"Hongjoong," you began, your voice low and controlled, "you can't have it both ways. You can't ask for a divorce and then expect me to stay." You felt your resolve waver slightly at the vulnerability in his voice, but you steeled yourself, knowing you had to stay strong.

"It's just hard to see you walk away in silence like we're strangers," Hongjoong said, his voice barely above a whisper, filled with a mixture of regret and longing.

His words hit you like a physical blow, and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes. You took a deep, shaky breath before responding. "And it's hard for me to stay and pretend everything's okay when you've just shattered my world," you replied, your voice quivering. "We're not strangers, Hongjoong. We're two people who once vowed forever to each other, and now we're crumbling that promise." The silence that followed was heavy, filled with unspoken words and painful realizations. You both stood there, caught in a moment that felt both eternal and fleeting, the weight of your shared history and uncertain future hanging between you.

Hongjoong's eyes met yours, a mixture of pain and regret swirling in their depths. You could see the conflict within him, the struggle between what he thought he wanted and the reality of losing you.

Suddenly, without warning, Hongjoong closed the distance between you. His hands cupped your face, and before you could react, his lips crashed against yours. The kiss was desperate, filled with a mixture of passion, regret, and longing. It caught you off guard, your body tensing at first before instinctively melting into the familiar warmth of his embrace. For a moment, the world around you faded away. There was only Hongjoong, the taste of his lips, the feel of his hands on your skin. It was as if all the love, all the memories, all the pain of your relationship was poured into this one, final kiss.

But as quickly as it began, reality came crashing back. You pulled away, breathless and confused, your mind reeling from the sudden turn of events. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at Hongjoong, seeing the same turmoil reflected in his gaze.

"Why?" you whispered, your voice barely audible, trembling with emotion. "Why now, when you've already decided to let me go?"

Hongjoong's expression crumbled, he took a shaky breath, his hands falling to his sides as he struggled to find the words. "I... I don't know," he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything."

You choked on a sob, the finality of it all settled, and you found yourself struggling to breathe. With trembling hands, you reached for the door handle, your vision blurring with unshed tears. "Goodbye, Hongjoong," you managed to whisper, your voice barely audible and thick with emotion. The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of everything you had shared and everything you were now losing.

Without looking back, you stepped through the doorway, the soft click of the door closing behind you echoing in your ears like a death knell. As you made your way down the hallway, each step felt like it was taking you further from the life you had known, from the love you had cherished, and into an uncertain, lonely future.

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