#god i wish this were me rn i fuckin hate my life lol

[zonegum]

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom Ch.7

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

ya’ll im sorry lmao

You spend the rest of your evening doing exactly none of the errands that you needed to deal with today. Instead, you're laying on your couch and texting your friends.

         Y/N: I'm so tornnnn.

     Y/N: Do I say something about the cheek smooch?

     Y/N: Should I leave it be?

     Y/N: Because she's texting like nothing happened.

     Y/N: What if I'm reading too much into it??

     Y/N: What if that's just how she shows friendship affection???

     Y/N: I might make it so fucking awkward if I assume something!

     Y/N: This entire ordeal is mortifying!!!

     Y/N: I want nothing more than to dig a big hole and lie in it forever.

     Y/N: I might be low-key having a panic attack about this rn but what's new.

     Harper: Y/N. chill. you're way overreacting to this.

     Harper: even if it meant nothing, she still likes you as a friend right?

     Harper: i think it would take a lot for her to like.. not wanna stay friends lol.

     Alex: im just saying you could probably kiss her and she'd be ok with it

     Alex: cheek kisses are pretty forward

     Harper: don't listen to him. all of his relationships ended in failure.

     Alex: wow

     Alex: im seriously hurt

     Harper: am I wrong?

     Alex: no..

     Harper: my point exactly.

     Harper: i’m not saying you have nothing to lose or anything.

     Harper: because i myself had to tread very carefully with leah..

     Harper: but i think you should just see where it goes and not like

     Harper: put too much emphasis on this incase it was nothing.

     Y/N: Yeah see now you have me worried it WAS nothing!!

     Alex: oh my goooooooddddddddddddddd

     Alex: the both of you approach women so.. pathetically

     Alex: take a risk

     Alex: live a little

     Alex: what is seriously the worst that could happen

     Alex: she kills you??

     Alex: lmao

     Alex: its funny cuz of.. you know

     Harper: i can’t wait to be home and smothering him with a pillow instead of affection.

     Y/N: You and me both.

     Y/N: Try being the only one available to play games with him.

     Alex: both of you fucking love me okay

     Alex: alsooooooo i get to be home the day after tomorrow

     Alex: the alex is back, babieeeeee

     Y/N: Harper please come home I’m BEGGING you.

     Harper: sorry you gotta deal with him alone for another month lmao.

     Y/N: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

     Alex: can i get a fucking crumb of love here please

         You swipe over to the couple of messages Spinel has left you in the past couple of minutes while you were talking to your friends.

         Spinel: It’s another stupid ball, I just found out.

     Spinel: I told her that I’m sitting this one out this time.

     Spinel: She has so many others that would absolutely love to help her, and yet, still absolutely insists that I must be there.

     Spinel: I don’t want to go back to homeworld right now, and not for this.

     Y/N: And you put your foot down? Hell yeah, dude.

     Y/N: Planning a ball for a bunch of gems sounds like a chore anyway.

     Spinel: oh, it is, believe me.

     Spinel: And they need everything to be PERFECT.

     Spinel: Which isn’t realistic anymore now that they don’t expect any of the gems to stay in line with their gem class nowadays.

     Spinel: The last ball they threw almost 4 months ago was utterly chaotic.

     Y/N: For thousands of years y'all as a race never pushed to deviate from the norm, and now that you guys are allowed to? I’d go batshit with it too.

     Y/N: Being stifled in everyday life, and finally you’re free?

     Y/N: Fuck, I’d go around fusing with anyone!

     Spinel: That is precisely what too many of them did.

     Y/N: Lmao. I wish I could’ve seen that.

         You tab back over to your group chat for a moment to see what they’re talking about.

         Harper: see? they’re everywhere.

     Harper: i wasn’t expecting the campsite to have so many.

     Alex: you could have built an army and instead you took pictures

     Alex: do you know how easy it is to lure chipmunks?

     Alex: oh that lil guy on the bottom right is so fucking chunky i love him

     Harper: that’s the one that got the closest when i fed them. :3

     Alex: oh i fuckin BET

     Alex: you dont get that chubby in the wild without takin a few risks

     Alex: if u know what i mean ;)

     Harper: i hate whatever you just implied.

     Y/N: It’s not a conversation with Alex unless you roll your eyes at least 3 times.

     Alex: hey i thought it was 4 times

     Alex: dont insult me

     Alex: anyway, y/n

     Alex: are you workin the day i come back

     Y/N: Yeah I’m actually scheduled a double.

     Alex: scheduled

     Y/N: Yes.

     Alex: a double

     Y/N: Yes.

     Alex: he can’t SCHEDULE you a DOUBLE

     Y/N: He can if he asks me ahead of time as a favor.

     Alex: that fuckin bastard

     Alex: always ruining my plans

     Harper: you’re still mad at him for firing you last summer, huh.

     Alex: OF COURSE I AM

     Y/N: Bro you stole like $300 of cotton candy sugar that summer.

     Y/N: It’s only fair.

     Y/N: Besides, I’m only doing this because he said he’d give me a long weekend for it.

     Alex: kay well

     Alex: i guess i’ll just go bug you at work and wait for you to get off that day :'(

     Y/N: Get me written up again, I swear to god.

         Your phone chimes several times, and you swipe down to see messages from both Spinel and Steven. You check Spinel's first.

         Spinel: Do me a favor and ignore any messages Steven has sent you.

     Y/N: What are you, my boss?

     Spinel: I MEAN IT

         You quickly switch over to Steven's texts.

         Steven: I was going to ask you if your date with Spinel went okay, but I'm assuming it went fine considering she hasn't really stopped talking about you.

         Ohhhh my god, this is wild. You reply to him.

         Y/N: It wasn't a date as far as I know.

     Y/N: I had fun.

     Y/N: She's telling me to not read your messages, lmao.

     Y/N: Also what do you mean she hasn't stopped talking about me??

     Steven: She’s been lying on my floor for the last hour basically gushing about you.

     Steven: But you didn’t hear that from me!

     Steven: :D

     Y/N: Haha thanks, kid.

         You switch back over to text Spinel, and get up off the couch to make yourself some tea. Pulling out your kettle, you turn the stove on and grab some raspberry flavored abomination tea bag that your dad loves more than any of the other good tea flavors.

         Y/N: Sooooo.

     Spinel: You talked to him, didn’t you.

     Y/N: Hahaha noooo. :)

     Spinel: The fuck did he say?

     Y/N: Absolutely nothing.

     Spinel: Seriously? I was sure he’d reveal something embarrassing.

     Y/N: Nope! You should probably get off his floor eventually, though.

         Your kettle goes off and you grab a clean mug, and pour the boiling water into it along with the tea packet. You look down at your phone, and grin.

         Spinel: goddammit.

         You let the bag steep for a little bit, and add in a small amount of sugar. Walking up to your bedroom you take a snap of Jellybean half lounging, half falling off the stairs and send it to Spinel. She replies with a couple heart emojis, and you wonder if Steven was the one to show her the proper use of them. You set your cup of tea down on your desk, and turn your computer on. It’s evening now, and it’s much too late to do anything left with the rest of your day productivity-wise, so you settle in on playing more minecraft. Your thoughts wander quite a bit, and you find yourself stuck on thinking about Spinel. Naturally. You wonder about a lot of things she’s learned while staying on earth, from things like - does she pay rent? Does she have a job? Does she know what taxes are? Does she know what a relationship with a human looks like? She said she watched a movie, but didn’t exactly elaborate. You don’t know what human-norms she’s been exposed to. You can’t even concentrate enough to mine any of this redstone for Alex, and you nearly die in-game when the thought of ‘does she know what sex is?’ pops into your mind. You grab your phone and shoot Spinel another message.

         Y/N: Quick question.

     Y/N: If you don’t mind me asking.

         It takes her a few minutes to reply.

         Spinel: Sure?

     Y/N: Do you know how humans are made?

     Spinel: w

     Spinel: Yes?

     Spinel: Steven told me about it a few weeks ago actually.

     Spinel: Why are you asking?

     Y/N: No reason! Just curious is all.

     Spinel: Hm.

         Yeah you’re not too confident that she actually knows, and you’re too chickenshit to elaborate right now. You’ll enlighten her later. You spend the rest of the night browsing memes on your phone, and texting your friends and Spinel on occasion. Before you know it, your eyes drift close with your phone in hand.

     You wake up when your alarm goes off for your morning shift, and curse at yourself for not charging it last night. It’s at a solid 32%, which isn’t really enough to go about your day, but you’ll have to make do. You get ready for a hopefully not shitty day, lock up the house, and head in to work.

     It’s a complete shitshow when you come in, and you turn your phone off to save battery and concentrate on dealing with more than an average amount of tourists. You find Mr. Smiley sleeping in the breakroom/office/supply closet, and have half a mind to lock him in there from the outside for the rest of your shift. It’s pretty busy, and messy, and it isn’t until you’re there for several exhausting hours that you finally have enough time for a break. You turn your phone on, and instantly you’re flooded with messages from several different people. Ugh.

           A couple from your dad - just checking in, really. Group chat too as usual, but none of it seems overly important. One from Spinel, and several from Steven. You open up Spinel’s message first.

         Spinel: Do you think we could talk about a couple of things later?

         Vague, and a little concerning. You text back an apology for getting back to her so late, and open the messages from Steven.

         Steven: Hey are you busy?

     Steven: I’m dealing with a bit of a situation right now, and could use your help.

     Steven: Spinel locked herself in my bathroom, and she won’t come out.

     Steven: She refuses to answer to anyone, and several of us have tried.

     Steven: I’m just really worried about her, and you guys seemed to bond, so I was hoping..

     Steven: That maybe you could come over?

     Steven: Thanks regardless.

         You check the timestamp, and that was over an hour ago. Jesus christ.

         Y/N: Steven I’m so sorry, my phone was off and I’m at work, give me a few and I’ll be right over, okay?

     Y/N: I’ll be quick.

         He replies almost immediately with a “please” and you pocket your phone. You try not to worry too hard about Spinel as you rush over to grab your things, and knock on Mr. Smiley’s office/broom closet door. He opens it groggily, clearly just waking up.

     “Yeah?” he slowly blinks at you.

     “I gotta leave early. Emergency.” You stare at him, trying to not be pissed at his lack of work ethic.

     “Are you for real? You’ve got another 3 hours left.” He says and crosses his arms, and you glare at him.

     “I’ve been working my ass off while you’ve been sleeping this whole time, AND I’m covering your ass tomorrow so you can go meet your old friend! So the LEAST you can do is let me go early when I have an emergency!!!” You almost yell out at him, and he holds his hands up in defense.

     “Okay, okay! Fine. Only because you’re a good worker.” He says, and has the gall to look at least a little ashamed of himself.

     “Damn right I am.” You spin around and head out of the building, practically running.

     You almost trip and bite it several times on the way over to Steven’s place, but you’re more worried about Spinel. You’ve only been to his place twice, but once you’re there you run up the stairs and open the door without knocking. You’re greeted by the only two people in the living room, Pearl, and Steven.

         “Oh, she’s here!” Pearl says and nudges Steven, who looks up from typing on his phone.

     “Y/N! Thank god you’re here.” He says with furrowed eyebrows.

     “What happened?” You say and shut the door, and cross the room over to him.

     “I’m not sure! We were just working on something together for Amethyst, and she got a call from Blue and Yellow. She’s been ignoring them lately, and they’ve been bothering me in turn because of that, so I asked her to take the call just see what they want.” He runs his hand through his brown curls, and just for a moment, you see that 12 year old him in again. The obvious stress masks just how young he really is, and you feel bad that he can’t live life like a normal kid. “She went outside to take the call, and was out there for quite a while. I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I did hear some yelling. And just when I was going over to make sure they were alright, she comes back in tears, eyes spiraling like months ago, and nearly knocks Pearl over rushing into the bathroom.”

     “And nothing since?” You inquire, fidgeting with your hands.

     “No,” He says, frustratedly. “I’ve been trying to reach the diamonds to see what this is all about, but I’ve only been getting the pearls. I don’t know what to do. She hasn’t been like this in months. What were they talking about to make her this upset?”

     “Maybe I can find out. You said she’s in your bathroom?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

     “Yeah, the one right over here.” He says and points to it.

     “Is it locked?” You ask.

     “No,” Pearl glances towards the bathroom door and crosses her arms. “The lock has been broken on it for a while, since Peridot joined us actually. Both Garnet and I tried opening it, but I think once Spinel hears someone trying to come in she blocks the door.”

     Hm.

     “I’m gonna try something, but you guys are gonna wanna stay away.” You say to the two of them. “I don’t want to overwhelm her with more than one person.”

     “Let us know if we can do anything?” Steven makes to pass by you and gives your arm a light squeeze. “And thanks for coming to help.”

     “Anytime, dude.” You give him a half smile, and walk over to his bathroom. You turn to take a look back at the other two, and they’re already in the kitchen discussing something in soft tones. You move to knock at the door, make two light taps against the frame, and wait for an answer.

     A couple seconds pass, and nothing. Not even any movement. Nervously, you knock again, a little louder this time, and wait for a good ten seconds.

     Still nothing.

     You take a deep breath, reach out to grab the door handle, and very slowly and quietly open the bathroom door. You see nothing but absolute darkness, and step in. You feel around the wall to your right and flip a switch just as you close the door behind you with an audible click. The room instantly floods with the dark red light of the heat lamp, and before you can even think about finding another light source, you find yourself slammed up against the wall and let out a surprised yelp. You open your eyes to see Spinel’s face inches from yours, pupils wild, her hands splayed against your shoulders.

     “U-um,” Your voice cracks a little. “Hey.”

     You watch her eyes take a second to find yours, and almost instantly, she lets you go, arms trembling.

     “W.. what are YOU DOING HERE!?” She cries, large tears pouring down her face, eyebrows raised in confusion, mouth trembling. Her hair is in loose pigtails, strands untamed around her face, cheeks stained with tear tracks. She looks like a mess, and your heart breaks, just a little. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt y-”

     “I’m fine.” You cut her off. “I should have said who it was outside the door, I’m sorry. And um.. Steven texted me while I was at work, and told me what was going on so I rushed over..” You trail off as you watch Spinel’s entire body shake, and she covers her face with both of her hands.

     “I can’t believe I just did that.” You hear her wavering voice, muffled behind her fists, and she lets out a choked sob. “Maybe they were right. M-maybe I’m not meant to-” She quickly moves her hands down to look at the floor with wide, vulnerable eyes, and struggles to form the rest of her words. You hear her breathing pick up pace, and you’re starting to realize she’s hyperventilating.

     “Spinel, look at me.” Her eyes shoot up to yours, lips trembling. “I need you to breathe.” You do what your friends have always done with you, and gently grab both of her hands and hold them with yours, thumbs stroking her palms in slow circles. She freezes up instantly, and you’re about to panic, because while a familiar touch helps ground you, you register that maybe it’ll make it worse for her. But before you can pull your hands away, her hands relax ever so slightly, and she lets out a shaky breath. “Good. Just like that.” You motion for her to follow your breathing inverals, and she copies you, hands still shaking in yours.

     It’s been a while since you’ve had to deal with something like this, but you’re thankful for having similar life experiences. After a solid minute or two of this her breathing is back to a normal pace, but she’s still crying, and now not meeting your eyes. Almost like she’s avoiding them.

     “Look, I.. I don’t know what happened with you and the diamonds, but you can talk to me about it if you’d like. No pressure, though.” You give her hands a small squeeze, and she whimpers, looking up to meet your gaze. Tears are still actively streaming down her face, and you have no idea how to make any of this better. It physically hurts you to see her like this.

     “C-can I not talk about it? I don’t think I’m ready..” She pulls a hand from yours, and wipes at her face. She just kind of smeared half of her face with wetness, and she looks miserable.

     “You don’t have to talk about anything, Spinel.” You look at her, making sure she sees it in your eyes. You slowly let go of her other hand, and hold your arms out in a silent question instead. Her mouth opens slightly, the red glow of the light around her making her look extremely vulnerable and soft, and she looks at your open arms with a blank face for a moment before understanding. Almost instantaneously, she throws herself against you and wraps her arms around your shoulders, shoving her face into the cradle of your neck. You envelop your arms around her tightly, giving her sides a squeeze, and you feel her start to shake again.

     She lets out an unsteady sigh, and hiccups out another small sob. You pull her to lean fully against you as you stand there, bracing your back against the bathroom door. She lets you maneuver her, and you rest the side of your face against her temple while she cries. You resign yourself to letting her cry on you until she’s done, if she needs to.

       You feel her sniffle against your neck, and try not to mind that she’s getting your shirt soaked. You give her back a few gentle rubs, feeling her body quiver against yours as she’s trying to control her choked breathing. You’re not really counting the minutes, as right now you’re currently having way too many rampant thoughts about what the fuck the diamonds could’ve said to her. You’re mad as hell, honestly, and if you could say shit to them, you would in a heartbeat. You don’t want to make anything worse for her though, as much as you want to steal her phone and video call them to curse them out. It takes a few more minutes, but eventually her crying dies down, and you feel her breathing even out. Slowly, she dislodges her arms from twisting around you two, and you feel a sigh, her breath hot against your neck. You do your best to school your facial expression as you’re realize just how close you are to her, and she pulls her face from its resting position to look at you. She looks awful.

       “U-um,” She lifts up her hand to attempt to wipe her face, failing to rub half the tears away. “I don’t really want to go out there yet..”

       “You don’t have to.” You say, quietly. “I can leave if you’d like some quiet to yourself.” Her face looks panicked for a second, and she grabs your wrist.

       “Please don’t leave me.” She says, voice wavering again. You try not to let your heart shatter at her tone.

     “I won’t if you want me here.” You say, and sigh softly. “Here, hold on a second.”

     She lets your wrist go as you move slightly over to the sink, turn the hot water on, and grab a clean hand towel from the counter. You soak it in water, and squeeze out all the excess. Towel in hand, you turn back to her, and she’s looking at you cautiously. You lift the towel slightly, motioning to her face.

     “May I?” You ask, and she nods slightly.

     Tenderly, you brush a couple strands of hair away from her face, grasp her chin with your left hand and pull her forward, gently pressing the towel to her cheek. She closes her eyes, and her shoulders sag a little as she lets you dab at her face, cleaning her of any tear stain marks. She sighs into your touch, and it strikes you that it would be so easy to just.. lean in and kiss her.

       Your brain almost short circuits and you snap your thoughts back to reality. There’s a time and place for everything. This is not the time, nor the place.

       Once you’re satisfied that she looks a lot better than before, you pull your hands away to toss the rag in the sink, and Spinel, for a brief moment, looks disappointed that you had stopped. Which.. kind of gives you an idea.

       “Can I try something? Harper used to do this thing with me when I.. had similar breakdowns.” You ask her. She raises her eyebrow in response, clearly exhausted from crying so much. “Here.” You say, and take her hand and lead her over to the rim of the bathtub. You sit down on the edge, and motion for her to sit in front of you on the floor. She takes a seat in front of you, still confused, but obeys nonetheless. “Can I touch you?” You ask her, watching her face to make sure she’s alright.

       She looks up at you, the red light in the room flooding the entirety of her face, making her hair darker, and the whites of her eyes a bit more dramatic.

     “Yeah.” She says in reply, voice tired.

     You reach out to her hair, and stop for a moment.

     “Can I have you face the other direction, actually? Come over here.” You move to open your knees, making enough room for Spinel to turn around and lean against the bathtub. She’s close to you again.

     “What are you..” She trails off as you start to take the hair ties out of her pigtails, one after the other. It takes a second, as it’s a bit tangled, but you manage to get both out, and let her hair fall down. You comb out her hair with your fingers, gently, and she sighs audibly while leaning into your touch. You run your short nails along her scalp, scratching and massaging as you smooth out her hair, attempting to pull all the tangles out.

     “Touch used to calm me down, and Harper was really good at it, honestly.” You say while pulling out a particularly difficult tangle without hurting her. Her hair is long like this, and you like it. You wish you could grow your hair this long, but it’s kind of a pain to deal with, and the longest you’ve ever had yours wasn’t even to your mid back, you think to yourself. “Sometimes she’d give me shoulder and neck massages, but I preferred that she’d just play with my hair. There’s just something different about another person touching your hair.”

     “I kind of get what you mean.” She says, tiredly.

     “Can I braid your hair?” You lean closer to look at her face.

     “Do what you want.” She says, looking fairly relaxed.

     “Cool. Anyway, while Harper was good at that, Alex, on the other hand, was just terrible at any kind of physical comfort. He’s genuine, and he tries, but he’s an idiot. He’s a lot better at distractions, for the most part.” You run your fingers through her hair one more time, before starting to separate her hair into three parts for a french braid. “He’s funny, and comes from a large family, so he always has stories and jokes. Whenever I’d have a panic attack, those two were always so good about being there for me. I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

     You notice that Spinel‘s shoulders have lost most of the tension in them, and you’re secretly relieved. You keep talking to fill the quietness around you two, because you’ve always hated the quiet during moments like these. Your friends aren’t here, so it’s up to you to make up for it.

     “It was kind of hard, at first though,” You say, and start looping the chunks of hair around your fingers, starting at the top of her head. “Because for a while there, back when I was 16 and dealing with the worst of my abandonment issues, I clung onto Harper like a baby koala. I had this super weird crush on her even though we had been friends since we were practically babies. I think I idolized her because she was just.. good to me.” You accidentally tug a little too hard on a strand of hair, wince and utter an apology while massaging the spot on her scalp. “I’m glad that didn’t ruin our friendship, but for a while there I really pushed my feelings onto her, which was kinda fucked up on my part.”

     “Hm..” Spinel mumbles. “I kind of had a thing for Pink, I think. Which ended up screwing with me even more after what she did.” You stare at the back of her head and pause your hands for a second. Huh. Yeah, you had a hunch.

     “If she were still alive, I’d punch her in the face for you, I hope you know.” You state, in full seriousness. This gets the first chuckle that you’ve heard from her today, and you’re secretly overjoyed.

     “I’d pay to watch that.” She says, and you laugh out loud. You see her smile, just barely.

     “So,” You continue, with both your hands and conversation. “A week or so after my 17th birthday, right after Harper talked to me about this guy at school that she liked, I confess to her. And not like a, ‘oh hey, you’re my best friend and I really like you’ kind of way, either. It was more like a, ‘have a mental breakdown over your best friend liking someone else and make them feel like shit about it on your walk home from school’ kind of confession.” Your hands reach the nape of her neck now, braid mostly done on her head, but you’ve got around another 20 inches of length before being finished.

     “Harper avoided me for nearly a week after that. I was absolutely pathetic, and inconsolable. Alex was fed up with my shit after a few days, and nearly slapped me over it. He would’ve been in the right, doing so, honestly. I was a selfish asshole who only thought about her own feelings, and not about her best friends.” Your eyes drift to Spinel’s face, and her eyes are closed, eyebrows unfurrowed.

     “Anyway,” You’re nearly done with the entire braid now. “She did end up forgiving me. Thankfully. I don’t know what I’d do if it were my fault that I’d split up our friend group.” You pick up the discarded hair tie from earlier, and tie it around the end of the braid.

     “I’m all done, by the way.” You say to her. She opens her eyes tentatively, and she looks sleepy. You stand up, and stretch your back. She also gets up on wobbly legs, and turns to look at you.

     “Um.” She’s avoiding your eyes. “Thank you. For this.” She’s twisting her hands together, nervously. You lean your face closer to get at eye-level with her.

     “Anytime.. and for the record, you look really cute in a braid.” You say and smile, giving her a cheeky wink. You watch her entire face from the neck up turn bright red, and think that you could probably do this forever, and never get tired. She gives you a noncommittal grunt, halfheartedly smacks your arm and you grin at her.

     You hear a quiet knock at the door, and look over to Spinel. She shrugs, so I guess it’s okay now.

     “You can come in!” You say to the door. It opens slowly, and you see Steven peek his head in.

     “Um.. are we okay?” He asks, clearly very worried about her.

     “I’ll be okay.” She says, and you think that maybe she should lay down and sleep. You verbalize this immediately.

     “Spinel. I think you should go take a nap.” You look at her, and she blinks at you. “I’m serious.”

     “She’s kind of right.” Steven says in agreement with you. Spinel gives the both of you a shrug, and even that seems like it’s taking a lot out of her.

     “Okay.” She says, and turns to walk out of the bathroom. Steven opens the door wider, and you can see Pearl in the kitchen leaning against the counter, trying to not seem like she’s intently watching all of you.

     Spinel makes her way over to the couch and takes a seat, sitting up rigidly. You walk over to her to make sure she’s okay before you leave for home.

     “You know you can text me, right? And if you need me, I’ll be available. I’ll leave my volume turned on.” She gives you a nod. “Oh, and.. take this,” You say, and pull off the pullover hoodie you’re wearing right now, and hand it over to her. “Alex used to let me wear his oversized sweaters, and they used to help me sleep, so..”

     She tentatively reaches out, and takes it from your hands.

     “Thanks.” She says, and gives you a small smile. With her hair pulled back like this she almost looks human, for a fleeting moment. You sometimes forget she’s a gem. You return the smile back at her, and turn around to leave.

     After grabbing your bag that you set down earlier from beside the couch, you head over to the front door and open it. Shouldering the bag, you start to shut the door and see Steven behind you. He closes the door behind him, his face searching yours for something you don’t quite know.

     “I don’t know what you did, but thank you.” He says, completely genuine.

     “You don’t have to thank me. I’d do it for you, too, you know.” You say to him, and he smiles.

     “That’s why I like you, Y/N. You’re sweet.”

     “Yeahhhh, don’t tell anyone, though. You’ll ruin my reputation.” You smirk, giving him the side-eye. He laughs and pats your back.

     “Ohhhhhh no! Whatever will you do!?” He rolls his eyes in jest. “Get home safe, okay?”

     “No promises.” You reply, and jump down his steps, two at a time.  

     It doesn’t take you long to get home, and you’re pretty tired yourself. You make yourself busy by preparing dinner, cleaning the kitchen a little, and calling your dad for another check-in. Before you know it, it’s nearly 11, and you need to sleep for your double shift tomorrow that you almost forgot about. You’re laying in bed browsing social media before drifting off, and you receive a text from Spinel. You swipe down and open the message.

         Spinel: Thanks again for today.

     Spinel: I baked some new cookies with Steven, and would like to give you some tomorrow if that’s okay?

         You smile to yourself. Ughhhhhhhh, you’re catching the feelings disease, and you swat the air around you like it somehow physically manifested around you.

         Y/N: I work literally all day, but feel free to stop by and give them to me.

     Y/N: Then I get to see a pretty familiar face to break up all the lame tourists.

     Y/N: Cuz that sounds super nice. ;)

     Spinel: I’ll see you tomorrow, then.

         She didn’t react to your obvious teasing, but you won’t let that discourage you. You fall asleep thinking of the many different ways you can poke fun at her, and this time, you charge your phone.

     You wake up the next morning feeling well-rested for once, and get ready for work. Alex has sent you a couple texts about when his flight will arrive, and when he’ll roughly come to meet you. Sometime around 4pm, apparently. You shoot Spinel a good morning text, and she replies almost instantly with the same, which makes you smile.

     You head to work, texting your group chat about what happened yesterday with Spinel, and give them basically all the details. Alex makes fun of you for a bit, so you curse him out and pocket your phone as you clock in. Today’s going to suck, but you’ve got a few things to look forward to.

     You make it a couple hours into your shift before you finally get a break, and Spinel texts you that she’ll drop by sometime in the afternoon once she’s done helping Bismuth with something. God you hope it’s not when Alex gets here, because you are so not fucking ready for that interaction. You eat your lunch and pray to any god out there that you could have one more day of peace.

     You’re outside the main building repairing a couple parts on the carousel, ignoring the bulk of the tourists to focus on work. You don’t realize that quite a while has passed by, because someone walks up to you as you’ve got your head in a small door, and kicks you slightly on your ass. You jolt and bump your head against the opening, and you hear Alex burst out into laughter as you groan in pain.

     God fucking dammit, this guy. You pull your head out to glare at him, screwdriver pointing at him threateningly.

     “Do you want this up your ass? Because I can do that.” You say to him, and he laughs even harder. You roll your eyes at him.

     “Don’t promise me with a good time, Y/N.” He says, and you stand up to smack him.

     “I don’t think the pointy end would be a good time, idiot.” You deadpan stare at him. He grins.

     “You don’t know what I’m into.” He shrugs, and flips his hair dramatically. You hate that he’s stupid and charming, and you love him so much.

     “I know I haven’t seen you in 2 months, but like, I feel like you’ve grown taller?” You stare at him, a little mournfully. You’re the shortest one out of your friends, and you’re of average height. He also seems.. handsomer. You think he definitely got a lot more tan. He’s definitely grown into his looks, his dark curly hair and recently shaved face making him look older than you’re used to.

     “I don’t think I did, but I think you’ve grown shorter.” He laughs obnoxiously, and you smack his arm again, which makes him laugh harder.

     “You’re so mean to me, like all the time. Why do I love you?” You cross your arms and pout, because you know it gets a rise out of him.

     “Youuuuuuu knowww, because I’m just so loveable and gorgeous and the smartest one in the group??” He flutters his eyelashes at you like he thinks he’s cute.

     “Wow, you are none of these things.” You reply, smirking at him. He puts his hand over his heart in mock offense.

     “Y/N, I’m offended. I’ve been here for like, five minutes, and I’ve received absolutely no affection from you. If I don’t get love, I will wilt and die. Do you want to be responsible for my death?” He opens his arms wide, and you roll your eyes dramatically, and stand there.

     “We’re not doing this in public.” You say, standing your ground.

     “Ohhh, YES we are, Y/N.” He wiggles his eyebrows. “Prepare yourself for the onslaught.”

     You take a couple steps back, prepared to run. He grabs your arms, wraps his around your torso, and picks you up, swinging you around.

     “Nooooooooooooooooo!!” You cry. “Put me down you oaf!”

     “No! I want love!” He all but shouts, and spins you around. He grabs your cheek with one hand and starts giving you big ‘ol smooches all over your face, and you’re giggling and trying to push him away, when you hear something drop and spill on the pavement a good twenty feet from you. You look up.

     It’s Spinel.

       Her face is twisted with heartbreak, and before you can even speak up, she bolts.

       You look down, and see the cookies she made you scattered on the ground.

[insporaelynn]

📲 raelynn && roman

WHEN: january 24-26th 

DESCRIPTION: just best friends talking and being obsessed with each other. rae confides in him about her ex drama.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: drug mention, probably sex mention.

@romanbeckett​

Roman

Hi love of my life. I miss your face. How’s it going??

raelynn

my baby

god, i miss you too. i'm doing okay, how're you tonight?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s been an off day, not even gonna lie lol super sore and tired. I just wanna be back to normal already

raelynn

oh no

how's your scar healing up? the boys are taking care of you right??

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

it’s okay I guess bleh lol and not tonight. I’m all alone

raelynn

Where's Q? Is Aaron working?

Well I guess I should know that since I'm literally at work. Lmao.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Q is working on music. Aaron has des tonight

raelynn

ugh. i wanna lay with you and kiss ur face.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

are you busyyy? I can burn us some cookies

raelynn

i'm working but I'd love to see you after if you're still up.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of yeah you just said you’re at work lmao fucking weed

yes please come by when you’re done

raelynn

LMAO I KNOW THE FEELING

absolutely, i'm yours.

u know niamh was trying to figure out who rue's date was and she was like "is it you" bc i mentioned that I have a dick appt with him tomorrow night.

and i was like. dude, no, for like, a thousand reasons. like, why would that ever be me???

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚n.

oh god, I’m so out of the loop with gossip lately, it’s sad. I didn’t even know he had a date lol

raelynn

it's apparently some big secret but he's having people help him dress up and asking about flowers and candy and niamh is like "bitch is it you" and i'm like. LMAO.

like is there anything about me that says flowers and candy

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Hahahahahhahahahahaha HAHAHA

that really made me laugh too hard.

raelynn

like, i'm not the flowers girl, i'm the sneak out in the night girl, the middle of the afternoon girl, all those things, but flowers girl???? sdkfdskksd

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I’m 100p a flowers girl

raelynn

YOU ARE AND YOU'RE WORTH IT MY BABY

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

my parents are coming in to town this week. Gotta tell them I have two boyfriends haaaa. Pray for me

raelynn.

I feel like that should be the least shocking thing about you??? In a good way.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yeah, I definitely keep them on their toes

raelynn

tell ur boyfriend that if he wants me to continue wearing body glitter he's going to have to pay me extra

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

omg but I love body glitter fyi

raelynn

I did an onlyfans video with Lilah earlier and I'm like 80% sure that I left glitter on her sheets. Like I'm a fucking unicorn.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

that makes me so happy I can’t even lie

I too wanna leave glitter everywhere

man I need to do only fans

raelynn

i would a thousand percent subscribe

both bc i'm a perv and also bc i'm a very supportive best friend.

we could get naked and do a body glitter photoshoot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

and I love this about you

that sounds like a dream?? Wow

raelynn

would love nothing more than to apply body glitter to ur glorious tiddies.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

my tillies would appreciate it

Hahahaa it hurts to laughhhh

raelynn

SORRY SORRY I'M GOING TO BE VERY SERIOUS NOW

clears throat Um. The National Debt.

it is my understanding that there is. National Debt.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hahahah I love you

raelynn

Blah blah, topics. Blah blah, smart people jargon, blah blah

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

god it’s so boring isn’t it

would so much rather talk about titties

raelynn

God same.

Like how yours are somehow bigger than mine.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I know, I need some sort of support at this point I think

raelynn

we could get you fitted for bras somewhere maybe that'd be fun

it'd look actually so hot

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

well I already wear lingerie in the bedroom. Might as well.

raelynn

you will be the absolute death of me, you're simply too gorgeous and too sweet to exist.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stahhpppp you’re making me blushhhh. Right back atcha my babe

raelynn

is there anything you want me to bring you when i'm done here?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

just yourself. I’ve got good ass weed

raelynn

and for the millionth time, i realized, you are my soul mate.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

you’re mine, lovie.

raelynn

i wish i could've had appendix surgery instead of you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

noooo don’t be silly lol I’m okay darling.

raelynn.

no i hate that you were in pain even for like a second i hate it so much!!

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

stop it, I love you. You cutie. Oh god okay I’m gonna make us cookies.

raelynn

Dont burn the house down my beautiful twin flame

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I always get cookie dough thinking I’ll do better next time. I still have that unearned confidence

raelynn.

Thats bc im always building you up and rightfully so

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yes you do and I live for it. I also really love fresh cookies right out of the oven, I just want to make that happen

raelynn

I believe in you my little tropical starfish

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

raelynn

literally you

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

hehehehe ⭐️

raelynn

i don't think anybody's ever gonna love me more than you

and i think. i think maybe that's okay?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not true. You’re gonna find someone who is gonna blow you away

raelynn

yeah but even if i did, would I even be able to love them without being scared of them?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

yeah, I think so. I’ve had to overcome a lot of walls and fears myself that I never thought I could. The right person makes it easier.

raelynn

idk there are a lot of people i could've loved if i hadn't been so....this lmao

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I think it’ll just take some time!

raelynn

you have so much faith in me.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

of course I do. I think you can do anything.

raelynn

i'm not really sure.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you don’t have to be cause I ammmmm

raelynn

and you're the smartest person in the world

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

in the whole world?? Damn. I’m not near as rich as I should be then.

raelynn

how about I stay over with you tonight and we get some breakfast in the morning? I did really good on tips tonight.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

okay!! I’d love that

raelynn

good 'cause i don't get to spend nearly as much time with you as i wanna

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I knowwww. We haven’t had a sleepover in so long

raelynn

you can cuddle up to me and i'll feed you cookies and kiss your hair

revolutionary. better than therapy.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Yes!!!!

raelynn

loml

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I finished the cookies baby and I didn’t burn them to a crisp

raelynn

you fucking legend

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I’m pretty damn proud of myself not gonna lieeeee

[...]

raelynn

extremely sad that i couldn't stay at breakfast with you all day

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

same

now I’m bored

raelynn

i swear after i left you my day went down the tubes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

oh no I’m sorry

who do I need to fight

raelynn

well carson is back.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

oh god, tell me more

raelynn

idk why he's back but wes gave him my number bc i guess when i told him to lose it he took it to heart which like good i wanted him to

but anyway i screamed at him in the chat

everyone called me a hypocrite bc i told ivy to stop being a bitch in the chat awhile back. which tbh i didn't remember even doing, i just be saying shit.

like alex opened his fuckin mouth and i'm like what dog do you have in this fight

oh and DELILAH is moving in with carson bc he's "like her brother!!!" never mind the fact that he cheated on me bc i guess friendship doesn't mean much anymore

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wow that’s...messy. Wtf lilah though seriously

raelynn.

So then Carson texts me bc wes gave him my number and that felt like being??? Pushed back in time against my will

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

that’s not cool

raelynn

So yeah a lot of crying today

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*chick with knife emoji*

me rn

raelynn

Cute but lethal

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

*img attachment* 

and not at all high...

raelynn.

you're so hot jesus christ.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn.

love u more than life itself

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

*img attachment of a keychain that says PUSSY WAGON* 

this was recommended to me on Instagram and now I want it.

raelynn

LET'S GET THEM MATCHING.

EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A CAR

AND THEREFORE NO KEYS FOR SAID CAR

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

it would be perfect for my Volkswagen

raelynn.

omg and with me in it...it really WOULD be a pussy wagon......

big brain

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahahah

raelynn

we should road trip soon

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I would love that so much honestly

raelynn

where should we go?

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

Disney world!!

raelynn

will u propose to me there

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wouldn’t that be romantic as heck

raelynn.

THE most romantic and also we'd maybe get free dessert

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I never turn down anything free.

raelynn

me neither. not the taylor family way

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahaha I love you.

raelynn.

we'll start planning a summer trip, just us.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

yay yay yay yay!

raelynn.

i'm gonna wear a tiara the whole time.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.BOT01/25/2021

with Mickey ears?

raelynn.BOT01/25/2021

of course, i'm not a monster.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

hahahaa

[...]

raelynn

I hate dudes.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

they’re a mess aren’t they lol

raelynn

Had a temporary lapse in sanity and agreed to meet Carson for coffee lol and he canceled like 15 mins before we were supposed to meet for a probably fake meeting lmao its so typical but I fell for it

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

babe I’m so sorry

raelynn

Like im just so tired

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

how can I make it better

raelynn.

I don't know honestly and I wish I did.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you.

raelynn

I love you.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

you’re my baby

raelynn

you're MY baby

[longinglook]

I’m answering a bunch of asks about this episode under a read more to avoid spoilers/spamming everyone’s dash with a ton of posts, so if you’ve sent me an ask and I haven’t answered it yet, it’s probably down here!!!!

angry fighter looks hot af but at what cost 😔

they could have kept it. i’m ready to give up angry fighter and naked showering fighter if they take back what they did

not at how i'm more invested in fighter and tutor's relationship than my own but to be fair me and my boyfriend have been together for like 6 years lol and thankfully we know how to communicate

goals omg... where do i get a long lasting relationship with someone who can communicate and is okay with me caring more about a fictional couple than anything else please tell me your secrets

"i don't love you anymore" hurt us more please

I felt so numb at that point I didn’t even register the pain... 

The LineTV version will be worse but we saw how it will end so I can finally breathe a sigh of relief I knew Tutor would push him away at least they got that right and his response hurts so much but after what Fighter did in that scene it makes sense "If you ask me rn I don't love you anymore"

Yup the linetv version was indeed worse. I found it interesting how Fighter stopped because of Tutor’s words and not because he was pushed away. Apart from the whole bed scene which I hated and I will talk about it more in a different post, I also disliked A LOT how Fighter doesn’t apologize. He cries sure, but he’s crying about the breakup, he doesn’t seem to regret or realize how bad what he just did is.

tutor gave him the necklace back but he still has the nametag and string maybe it was a mistake to watch the episode after all

honestly nothing of this episode made sense from a narrative standpoint

electric chair for fight's dad i don't even care at this point just k word him

agreed, it’s all his fault he deserves to rot but also make sure he hasn’t disowned Fighter yet before he d words

Right, I'm sitting down with a large, very strong margarita (which my girlfriend made me, rolling her eyes and saying "what the hell is it with you and these Thai boys"?) and opening the LineTV subbed link. See you on the other side!!

[adele voice] hello from the other side! I wish I had alcohol or a girlfriend to keep me company thoughout this mess

now that deleted scene makes more sense, it explains a bit more why fighter would completely lose it when tutor uses that kid to make him jealous. tutor's plan and the whole scene following it was bullshit but series add some random shit for drama all the time so why am i even surprised. at least he stopped, they talked and tutor told him off. still don't get why it was necessary. him just breaking down in front of tutor would have been enough.

IT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!!!!!!!! THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME MAD THE MOST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS CLEARLY JUST AN EXCUSE TO CREATE MORE DRAMA IN A CHEAP TASTELESS WAY! oh my god you guys I am so upset, I will write more in another post but. I can’t believe they thought this would be a good idea. It completely ruined the rest of the episode for me. The conversation they have right after could have worked just fine without the ab*se, it was a good conversation, Fighter telling Tutor that he has liked him since day one, that it took him a lot to take down his walls and come to terms with his feelings. ALL THAT SHIT BEFORE WAS NOT NECESSARY. NOT GOOD. 

let's be real zee deserves a fuckin' oscar for his performance in the last episodes and todays saint too i was crying like a baby

zee was incredible. last week saint was mvp for me, but this week zee was insane. the scene with his father was so well done. I dodn’t cry because I was extremely upset, and still am, and I didn’t enjoy the episode at all. But I can recognize the amazing performances that Saint and Zee gave us today

the author said she talked to the director and he wants to re-shoot many scenes because he want to emphasize on more pain for both couples??? sir i think we had enough pain thank you very much

the only thing that I want them to shoot is a fucking apology video for thinking this was a good idea

fighter telling his father he sucks at love and that his wife literally ran away from him to be with another man made my day lol like why are you trying to judge someone's else love life when you suck at your own dude

that was amazing! while I was watching the unsubbed broadcast I was praying he’d come out or use the word gay. This wasn’t exactly it, but it still was a very very good conversation that I would have enjoyed more if part 1 hadn’t happened.

zee's acting was so good but i still hate they took that route for fighter like i'm super glad it wasn't romanticized and tutor did kiss him back at some point but that scene could have had the same impact if they just talked istg

yup! zee you’re doing amazing sweetie i’m sure it’s not your fault they made fighter do this. the scene was so incredibly pointless. no words

I know many people are talking about Part 1 as they should for obvious reasons but let's also talk about Part 2 because that was FighterTutor I know and love. Plus Saint was acting so cute like a cat it was adorable and all the little touches between them I just want them to be happy.

I... hated that scene I’m so sorry to disappoint. It felt so out of place after part 1, it made zero sense to have Tutor act that way after what he had said to Fighter and what had just happened. I’ve noticed that fevers tend to be used a lot in bls to show the sick character that this other person is sweet and caring and it’s just so out of the blue and a clear plot device to get Tutor to rethink... It honestly was so unnecessary considering that Zon talks to him after and I’d like to believe that’s what convinces Tutor to maybe fight some more for his happiness. Idk I found the whole chest rub insanely uncomfortable after everything that happened, Tutor was sick and feverish, idk. Also the joke at the start of that scene about Fighter taking advantage of him was AWFUL. WHAT THE FUCK.

no you are right the part with zon was kinda weirdly translated plus the whole text conversation which fighter was reading on part 2 (or was part 3?) isn't translated

the texts say something along the lines of “How are you? I saw you were very sick. I thought about P’Fight’s father. Can I suggest something? I say talk to Fight about his father. There should be a better soultion” (provided by google translate)

fighter reminds me of that one friend i had in college he would just suddenly disappear for days and then come back just to disappear again

I was that friend in college... you can’t just be emotionally available all the time, sometimes you gotta bounce

whyru season 2 with dew and his boyfriend but this time dew will run off all the time leaving fighter on his own

I agree with this

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #259

"i went straight to heaven, but i kept on knockin’.”

What's something that makes you feel more creative? Music. What are the last three nail polish colors you wore? Wow, idk the last time I wore nail polish, but probably black or maroon. What's the last thing you binge watched? Avatar: The Last Airbender w/ Sara. Do you watch youtube videos or tv shows more? YouTube is essentially my TV. Quite literally - I don't have a television in my room because I never watch it. What's a DIY project that you don't think actually works? Oh dude, plenty. I have DIY-obsessed friends online as well as a Pinterest, I know this shit, lmao. I can name one though with total certainty because I was with a friend when she tried that disgusting "YOU CAN MAKE cuPCAkES IN A C uP!!!!!" crap. It's the most eggy shit you'll ever try. Do you collect Mason jars to use for crafts? No, but I think those crafts are generally super cute. Have you ever gotten rid of something and then regretted it? If so, what? (or what's one thing?) Oh yeah, one of my biggest being my senior prom pictures, but not for the reason you'd expect (save for two pictures of us that're just REALLY fuckin cute): I want them back because goddamn I was pretty ok and I miss that now that I hate my body every waking moment of every day. :^) What color is the zip-up hoodie you wear the most? Don't have one w/ a zipper, they're ugly. Do you live in an apartment that has inspections? No. Do you hate taking naps during the day? Nooo I love naps and usually take one a day. I tend to feel really tired all over again a few hours or so after I wake up. Who in your immediate family has the best natural hair? MEEEEEEEEEEEE. Would you ever audition for American Idol? Hell no. Do you know anyone who thinks they're more talented than they are? Lol wow, this is mean. I don't think so. Do you buy gum? Rarely, even though I like it. What's your favorite dollar store?  I don’t have a favorite, I'd say? But I think we normally go to Dollar General. How many cell phones have you had in your lifetime? Maybe like, six? Have you ever been inside a Victorian mansion? BITCH I WISH!!!!!!!!!!!! I would kill to get married in one, omfGGGGGGGGGGG. What was the most boring field trip you ever want on? I don't remember a bad one. I loved going on field trips. The last time you went, what were your favorite rides at Cedar Point? I’ve never been. Which country would you most like to visit? Eeeeek idk, but probably South Africa. What are your favorite types of videos to watch on YouTube? What I watch on YouTube has become pretty diverse, but I know my favorites are easily Mark's actual big projects w/ egos 'n shit alksjdflk;w gOOD SHIT MY FRIENDS. I still love let's plays, of course! Are you a hoarder? No. Is there a guy (or girl) that you wish things had worked out with? Yes. If you were to start a collection, what would it be? I'd loooove Shadow of the Colossus stuff, particularly the amazing figures they used to have only in Japan. And World of Warcraft stuff; all I have rn is an Illidan poster and a fae dragon plushy hanging from my ceiling that Jason got me. If you were rich, what things would you get done cosmetically? Mother of god, a lot. #1, make me skinny again for the love of fuck. Which would result in loose skin being taken off and probably a breast lift because being overweight ruined my comfort with them laskdjfw. Whiten my teeth and give me laser hair removal surgery on my legs, please. Are your parents too controlling? Not at all. Who is your favorite fictitious redhead? VOL'JIN Blizzard what the FUCK give him BACK What shows have you seen on Broadway? None. Who is the prettiest Asian YouTuber that you can think of? Bitch Mark is Korean and he's gorgeous as fuck goddamn it ain't fair. But this is a weird question. What is the best news you've heard lately? When my mom got a follow-up blood test, things looked good!! She especially needed to level out her sugar, which she did well on. She also didn't lose or gain any weight, so that's wonderful. Have you ever flown first class? Hunny I am v poor. Have you ever had food SO bad in a restaurant that you sent it back? I don't believe so, anyway. Do you talk in your sleep? Very regularly now. Have you ever locked yourself out of your house? OOF, yes. Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain & bother you? They stick with me for a long, long time. At least two I remember from years upon years ago. Who was the last person you cut out of your life intentionally? My old therapist that I trusted and loved when I fucking shouldn't have. Where were you raised? By who? Eastern NC, by my parents. What were your first words? "Dada." What were some of your favorite things when you were young? DINOSAURS, Webkinz, Pokemon, and Spyro, to name a few. What did you grow up listening to? Mostly country and pop music. What games did you play in the past? Spyro was my obsession, and I also loved hunting games (ironic, as irl I would never even consider it???) as well as fishing ones, plus Crash Bandicoot. What was the best birthday party you ever had? I'm not sure. How about the best vacation? I'm unsure; I haven't really been on a lot. Do you have any secrets you never intend to tell? Yup. What memory would you like to disappear from your mind forever? A nightmare I had about my dad. If you were someone else, would you be friends with the person you are now? Yeah. Do you consider yourself a smart person? No. What friend in your life has been the greatest influence to you? I don't know. Where is the scariest place you’ve ever been? What made it so terrifying? I shared a bedroom with an EXTREMELY volatile, violent woman once in the mental hospital. As in she had to go in solitary when she had a violent episode, during which she became very destructive to her surroundings, so as you could guess, I was worried about my own wellbeing. She was eventually moved because I was that uncomfortable. Did you celebrate Easter? Are there any holidays you are more inclined to celebrate than others? If so, which? Well, Easter hasn't come yet, but we'll probably go to my sister's house for the kids. We'll celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving without fail. We don't pay much attention to others. I'd LOVE to do something for Halloween, we just never have anywhere to go/anything to do. What was the last thing you deleted? Pictures. What colors make up the majority of your wardrobe? Is there any color you like, but don’t wear often? There's black there. Oh, there's s'more black. What's that???? More bLACK????? MAN, I wish I could pull off pink. When was the last time you were in any amount of pain? I had a pretty intense headache yesterday. Who was the last person to hug you? Do you hug this person often? My niece, and yeah, every time I visit. What are you most likely to argue or debate about? The fact I almost never leave my pajamas lmao. What was the last show you watched? Have you seen it before, or is it something you’re watching for the first time? A few days back, I was reeeaaally bored and actually watched TV deliberately, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????? It was The Witcher; wasn't bad. I'd be willing to watch more. How would you describe your taste in clothing? What would a dream outfit look like to you? uuuuuggggGHHHHHHHH let me be GOTH. Give me a corsette if they weren't notoriously uncomf with plenty of chains 'n stuff. BIG, SPIKY BOOTS. SKINNY LEATHER PANTS. UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH. Have you ever tried snowboarding? No. What’s your favorite planet besides Earth? Saturn is dope. Would you ever be a coach for any sport? Nope. What color of eyes do you have? Blue. Do you like tacos? NOOOOOOOOO. White or red wine? Wine is gross. Do you prefer foxes or wolves? Foxes. What’s the youngest you would consider dating? No younger than 21. Do you think suits are sexy? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No. What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? N/A Were you a fan of Michael Jackson before he died? I was never really a fan. Respected him immensely as a musician, I just didn't care much about his music. Turkey or ham for Thanksgiving? Ham. Turkey is always too dry and stringy. Do you look good in hats? I wouldn't know, I haven't worn one in forever. Never with short hair. Colons or equal signs for your smiley face's eyes? Colons. Do you like architecture? If so, do you have a favourite style or structure that you’d like to make note? Yes, and I should really have an answer for this, as architecture was a big part in Art History... Ummm Etruscan stands out, and of course Roman/Greek (even after the class I don't remember their differences well...). I love Middle Eastern architecture, too. What is one of your favorite words, in any language, and why? I just love the sound of "serendipity," as well as uhhhh "sakura" in Japanese and "kanji" in Chinese. I'm trying to think of a German one, as there certainly are some, but they're evading me right now. Where is the farthest you’ve travelled on foot? JESUS FUCK probably going to get Sara's brother from school, mother of all that is holy. But it might just feel like it because it was during the peak of my muscle atrophy in my legs. Are there any songs that you perhaps like but avoid because it makes you sad when heard? A good number. Do you like the area that you live in? What do you like or dislike about the area? NO. There's not shit to do and it's not aesthetically pleasing at all. Do you have a memory of when you really thought that you have lucked out on something? If so, what was it? Uhhhhh. A handful, I guess? Oh, uh, the suicide attempt to name one and probably the biggest. I took way too many of those pills to experience almost zero symptoms of an overdose; I did look up what "too many" was, because I wanted that. I'd say I was pretty fuckin lucky. If you have apps on your mobile phone, which one do you use the most? Facebook. Which do you like better: fantasy or science fiction novels? Why? FANTASY!!! I think it allows more creativity and possibilities of something magically "making sense" because yeah, it's fantasy. Science fiction has more "realness" to it, more, obviously, scientific elements versus make-believe. Do you like opossums? Do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets? OPOSSUMS!!!!!!!!! ARE!!!!!!!!!! FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're my second-favorite animals kdsja;lkdjaw. BUT ANYWAY, no, unless it's for rescue reasons. When was the last time someone asked you a huge favor or advice? Do you get asked often by this person? Oh I have no idea. Probably my mom? And no, definitely not. She hates asking for help. What are your thoughts on nihilism? I definitely get it, but it's not my personal outlook. Do you like the snow? More like love. What are your thoughts and feelings towards work/jobs in general? I don't know? I've never even had a real, steady job, so it's hard to really answer... I've only had bad experiences. It's kinda weird to me how you have to work your ass off (usually) to get a job you enjoy, as well as slave for some stupid green paper until the day you die just to stay alive and healthy. But at the same time, it offers a sense of fulfilment and is as well something productive and beneficial to the masses to do. Civilization would be very, very different and unadvanced if we were without them, so I guess it is a necessary thing. Humans gotta work together to keep where we're at. Do you believe in astrology? I've never actually elaborated why I don't believe in it so there ya go: not in the slightest. All it does is offer extremely broad characteristics that, in some light, almost anyone can relate to so they feel included in something. We naturally want to "belong" within something as social creatures, and astrology is an easy one with it being so vast. It gives equally indirect advice that can be applied to a multitude of situations, so people just mold what they read to fit their world. Don't base your goddamn life choices on the random positioning of shit in space. What is something that you’ve made/created? Do you take pride in your creations? Well, way way way too many OCs that I do indeed love a hell of a lot. If you have a Tumblr account, do you have any followers that you wish would not follow you? Well I'm sure there are bots. What kind of books do you generally enjoy to read? Fantasy stuff, mostly. But I also love novels with deep meaning, particularly about life in general. A good plot is mandatory. Does the quality of a video, on YouTube or a television, matter to you? I mean of course in some situations, like if I'm watching something educational/something to gain visual knowledge from. What is one situation that may cause you to become shy (if there is any)? Don't don't don't don't don't point out that my serious interests/things I massively love are "weird" like it's been years and I can still barely explain why my biggest tattoo is a tribute to some fuckface on the Internet lmao. When one is depressed, what can a friend do about it? Do you find that there is a good method to approach people in helping them combat depression? It is SO important to, first, ask them what they want. Do they want advice, an ear to just listen, just your presence, to be alone? As for combating depression, that greatly depends on the origin (if any) of theirs. There are so many factors in answering this question, but what I mentioned should, imo, always be the start. Do you tend to listen to music that embraces your mood or does music dictate your mood? Is it a little bit of both? Definitely both. When I'm sad though, I'm almost definitely listening to somber music too. Do you find yourself to be generally a forgiving person? I'm too goddamn forgiving. Do you have an embarrassing memory that you now look back at and can laugh? If so and if you’re comfortable, could you share one here? Omg I have a Bible-length collection of those suckers. I'd prefer not to. What is one skill that you have worked hard to develop? Is there still room for improvement on that skill? Damn, anxiety-coping mechanisms and actually trusting them to help me through attacks. I used to be convinced that they were useless because it just wouldn't work and weren't immediately effective, but you've gooooooot to trust the process, friends. What do you consider to be your main passion(s) and how did they come about? Spreading awareness of the seriousness of mental health and the comfort of knowing there's hope. You can never stop pushing. My own experience with mental health struggles is definitely the deeeep roots of that. Who do you think influenced you the most in your life so far? Why? Jason changed my life in many ways. Trauma does that. He taught me a lot about the necessity of having faith in yourself to survive on your own, a shitload about love and how it's not some fairy tale, and that people change, even those you least expect to. What is something that you have overheard people talk about that really bothered you? I could name more than a few things about race stuff, living where I do. What do you normally say or how do you normally act in response to a compliment? I usually do this shy laugh and say "thank you" with too much enthusiasm. How many books do you own? Do you have more physical books than electronic books? I've no clue where a lot of my old ones are. I have no electronic ones; I strongly prefer to read a physical book. What are your thoughts on higher education? Is it really necessary? In your opinion, what changes can be made? Depending on your aspiring career, it can be necessary, but just as easily, it can be unnecessary. I know for a fucking fact it should not be NEARLY as expensive as it is. Maybe even free, but I have no idea what monetary concerns that could cause with whoever runs the place. Have you ever received a heartfelt compliment from a stranger? Probably at some point. How many people would you consider to be extremely close to you? "Extremely"... like three lmao. Maybe one more or so. When was the last time you had to speak to a crowd? How well did that go? When I was taking pictures at a wedding last. It went okay. How would you describe your general outlook towards humanity? We by no means deserve to be the apex predator and Earth would be a shitload better without us. How long do you think you could last without any contact with your significant other, best friend, or a person whom you consider would be the closest to you? I'll use my mom here, in which case idk. I don't particularly want to find out. I talk to her at LEAST by text daily. Every day now that she can't work/is always home with me. Have you ever realised that someone was lying, but it was too late to confront them? Nope. Eventually speaking up is how I lost her, but.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“So Happy Together” Analysis

i don’t sleep

tl;dr: tbh not much to go off on about. i think we see a new skin for Iron Bear, one with some stripes. amara smiles, i do talk a little bit about little sisters in bioshock but tbh i think this was all just a stylistic choice lol. oh and handsome jack’s masks- probably Mount Jackmore. i don’t want to get to freaked out over jack returning, but damn gearbox lol u had me there for a second. im pretty sure it’s just a reused cut quest from bl2 that they never got to implement. 

EDIT: here’s all the cut content in bl2 (plus all the non-cut content as well for funsies). you can go to the cut quests and see the audio files for claptrap’s jackmore quest

holy shit can i just vomit all my emotions rn, they’re all good so imma do that so im rational when i start analyzing stuff okay? okay! 

holy shit that was fucking great and im really glad i tempered my expectations to something smaller than i thought because i feel bad for people expecting something huge, i was under the assumption we’d be getting a new mechanic that was like ‘choose ur +1 and they’ll be able to play the game with you if you’re both online even if they don’t have the game’ which was what someone said on reddit. altho im sure the poor company is gonna get spammed now with hate like ‘WTF YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE BUILT THIS UP AAAA’. not to lie, i was slightly disappointed it wasn’t a longer stream, but i mean if they’ve got nothing to announce, they’ve got nothing to announce and HEY! new trailer!!! gonna be combing thru on the assumption this has some easter eggs like the MoM trailer did, just in case. i thought it was a cute trailer, gearbox never explicitly said what it was gonna be, a lot people all just assumed what was gonna happen was a demo/beta which sucks so i hope this doesn’t negatively impact people’s perspective of the game. im staying off reddit for now bc when i first checked it people were pretty pissed and i dun need that negativity lmao

okay! emotions are LOCKED behind closed doors. i am shifting into study mode. here we go boys/girls/those of us who know better. haven’t done one of these in a while, let’s see if im rusty at all.

claptrap! and the skull on the chair which reminds me of tyreen’s “favorite skull”. 

tv says “we are under attack, please stand by”

and afaik claptrap is near the beginning of the game, you can see part of the recruitment center behind him when the camera pans.

im thinking there might be something in the roses, specifically the hand-drawn roses later on in the trailer. will be keeping an eye open for that.

this is specifically a jakobs brand chest. i really like the see-through aesthetic of it

intro area of the game again. possible hint to the opening cutscene? tbh i was worried that’s what we were about to get because i haven’t finished the roughs of my mock up lol

so what i didn’t notice my first time through is that you can then see claptrap, also being shown in the chest

waving up at the camera. that’s not trippy at all or anything lol

this car in the foreground (with no one driving it, mind you)

randomly combusts, looking quite like elpis in that one shot of the claptrap presents pandora trailer. wonder if that means it’s gonna ‘splode.

ohhh it spins. please no spin imma get motion sick blech

shot of some cultists. one appears to have a jetpack near the bottom right there

another explosion to the beat

the shock wave!!!! that’s awesome

shock nomads cultists are back. f in chat for our shields

another cultist seconds before he gets blown to bits

it cuts to black for a secco as it moves thru said explosion

another cultist, i assume a psycho

finally some good fucking angles

heh.

idk what i expected from someone who’s first action skill line i ever heard was them shouting MAGIC WALL!!! TAAAADAAAAAAAAH

as a side note

who is shooting those lasers

we see them coming from behind the VHs, but

there’s nothing there

SPOOKY~

they’re coming from... the wall???

tfw u shot urself in the foot on accident

amara is not amused

`is this some human custom i don’t understand yet`

also i hate that i’ve done this exact dance before when i took dance classes as a kid

with less style of course, i was like 7

moze is into it, hell yeah

this reminds me a lot of Kingsman. where all the blood is like fireworks and stuff. i wonder if that has anything to do with the psycho brainwashing. like little sisters in bioshock. they see roses instead of blood, right? maybe there’s something like that going on with the psychos

i’d certainly hope our vault hunters aren’t brainwashed, anyway.

this dude looking SHOCKED to see that tho, lmfao

i relate to this man on a spiritual level i stg

man he looks pissed

omfg lol

“um”

“i guess this is okay”

the body language in this is gold i am just having the time of my life

adsfdgfhgjhgfk

this is so cute

also in retrospect, i think this is one of the turrets we see on promethea. i wonder what it’s doing here!

moze u ok?

oh nvm she’s into it, look at her! she’s dancing! She’s Dancin’!

oooo one of the robots from the we are mayhem trailer! okay you can totally see why i think they’re jakobs, RIGHT???

iirc this is a maliwan soldier

man this is a crossover event, isn’t it?

i get it now. togetherness. i gotchu gearbox.

some maliwan ships in the sky. possibly sanc-iii on the right? or a ship of the same model as sanc-iii!

this is a magitek dropship, change my mind

eh, they both start with M, fuck it.

no idea what fl4k is doing here

mayyyybe shielding themselves from the ‘firework’/confetti shower

i like that the confetti explosions are backed up by purple, you know like eridium/slag/siren powers. seriously, maybe this is just how to cultists see us Vault Hunters and the mass murder.

at the very least, the psychos.

fl4k’s into it. i wish we knew the name of their skag, if it has one. i hope it does.

well now the lasers are coming from the other side! what the hell

moving on

i think this is the HBC from the speakers, plus im pretty sure that skull and the stained glass are the entrance to mouthpiece’s arena

we also get a different colored explosion. im paranoid jack is somehow making a return (please god no), so i’ll just note it’s the same color as his eyes.

AND the chests are vomiting out gold guns, which i think, gold-plated gear, is the cult’s way of signifying standing. which im sure is a tongue-in-cheek commentary as gearbox gives out a gold weapon pack as a pre-order bonus. no, like, it even shows up as an ad on the video

smh gearbox lmao

oh, also, the cultists are doing fuckin flying impressions

im not saying its a reference to the cultist with rakk wings on the cover, buuuut

bitch it might be lol

it’s an upside-down vault symbol! ive been trying to figure out what that is in those screens for the longest time!

back on promethea and we get to see fl4k’s spiderant in action

their skag, too, of course

the jabbermon in the back there, too! i wonder if they’re going to be shock or cryo. i would imagine shock given how they’re glowing

also i love the way the flowers look in contrast to the character models

moze is so happy aw

i love the way fl4k’s skag comes flying in and slides to a stop. such a good doggo ;-;

this is beautiful, i want it as a wallpaper

moze skipping? holy shit

100% verified the best thing i’ve ever seen

i lied. this is.

is this the fast travel station effect?

also! IB is looking a bit different

i wonder if this is a redesign or if IB is wearing a new skin moze picked out

pan over to zane who clearly doesn’t notice the being of darkness and horror in the doorway

oh also, we’re on eden-6 now. which would explain the fast travel effect

psychos dancing on the rooftops lol

oh god my eyes

nothing to really say here, i just like this screenshot

pink shields booyah

this is so fucking cute

we also get a better look at that one facility on eden-6

is that... red i see? >w> i won’t say it i won’t i won’t say it i swear i just- ATLAS

fuck

i like that zane’s clone spawns with his melee attachment

not AS excited as the real life version though

GB pls let this be a zane emote

is that a varkid? on eden-6?

wtf is a varkid doing on eden-6???

more shots of the facility btw. reminds me a lot of sanc-iii so maybe this actually is the supamax mfg construction facility like i originally thought. hmmmmmmm

ah yes, of course

holy shit what is this a reference to?

im told it’s the sex pistols

the back of the bullet turns into Athenas

pans in

amara!

enemy with a top hat on. some variation of/upgraded gravedigger? it’s like a psycho but recolored with blue pants and a top hat. you can see it fall off when amara shoots him

y’know, these guys

some rakk in the background

i am hoping bc this is a celebration of togetherness we’re seeing all enemies everywhere, not that the planets don’t have their own unique fauna.

she’s so happy omfg

oh, you want some?

Uhhh then there’s THIS sequence

they’re doing the flying thing again lmao

there’s also whatever that black blob is on the left. a spaceship maybe?

car wheel

all their eyes started glowing red. uh oh gamers

also another fast travel effect

hmmmm... zarpedon is that you??

back on pandora.

“super 87 racetrack”, maybe this is near that motorcade fast travel we saw?

huzzah! rainbows!

i do believe that’s sanctuary-iii

another ship. drop ship?

elpis is looking nice this time of year. definitely not explode-y. yet.

pret-ty sure that’s iron bear. moze is standing atop the tower lmao

also! back to it’s old paint scheme. looks like moze was using a skin or smth

we also have this. are my eyes failing me or is that a big cross on the left? could be where jack was buried. 

also i know there was cut content in bl2 about Mount Jackmore! and this looks like a Mount Jackmore to me. it’s a cut quest where claptrap asks you to basically ruin the thing. but since the quest was cut, it’s still here in bl3. maybe they’ll reintegrate the quest lol

i can’t imagine it being roland’s gravesite. because it looks like the below.

i do know we’re going to roland’s grave in bl3, but the statues don’t really match up. maybe it is and the statues were broken, or ruined or something and replaced by a cross. could be then that the gravesite was defaced with, well, the guy that killed him. 

im really hoping jack doesn’t make a return. im fine with dealing with what he set in motion, and his influence, and probably even some ECHO logs and movie trailers, but please, for the love of god, don’t actually bring him back, AI or otherwise. im really excited for the calypso twins, i’d really hate to see the focus shift back to that guy. he’s had his fingers in every borderlands game. it’s time to let him go.

idk what this is exactly. it looks like maybe that weird eye bot troy stands next to in the intro for the behind closed doors panel?

goodbye mr magical jakobs chest, it’s been real

the RC now has red drapes going down it. have those always been there? i don’t remember those

hmmmmmmmmm maybe we’re looking at it from the back 🤔

anyway, that’s all she wrote. i haven’t see any hidden morse code messages or anything yet, but if something surfaces, i’ll be sure to add it here.

[dauntless-dragayn]

liveblogging She ra s3 reactions part 2

time for pain babay!

[ part one ┊ part two ]

episode 4

Oh Boy i can already feel the tonal shift

“The Moment of Truth” WHAT a title

Hordak youre assuming your general will give a fuck

CATRAS BACK

Entrapta: “Ooh you have a wip now?” THE ENTIRE FANDOM WHEN CLIPS WERE DROPPED

this isnt related to anything but Angela’s wings are so pretty 🤩

Oh shit Glimmer just called her out big time

The mural in the background of this scene is pretty

Adora needs a chance to fuck Hordak up and not just rant at him That was satisfying tho Her angry voice / growl, yunno?

no dont go to SHADOWBITCH for help

Why is she lounging in her ‘prison’ wtf

“Let me out.” Ive never heard of a WORSE idea

Uh oh Shadowbitch knows exactly how to appeal to Glimmer

NO

Tag yourself im Bow shaking his head in the background

Oh finally Entrapta finds out the truth, this has bothered me for a while

“Catra was my friend too, but she makes bad decisions!” okay honestly this is a little too relatable - having to watch your friends fuck up their own life because they wont listen to you or reason

YEAHH PRINCESS SQUAD

Mermista telling Shadowbitch to shut the fuck up is iconic

Angela flying through the hallways :0

Fuck im worried about this I dont trust Shadowbitch

Wait “her”? Froggo person is a her? Aiight

I see the Princesses are now occupied and wont be in the way during thematically relevant scenes

CATRA 

BOW!! NO DONT LEAVE HIM BEHIND

i dont like.. Glimmer and Shadowbitch working together but I must admit theyre a force to be reckoned with

I do feel bad for Catra tho The last thing she needs is more lies from Shadowbitch

This connection is hurting Glimmer!! >:U

CATRA SHOVING SCORPIA ASIDE JFC

Catra unhinging, thats what we’re watching

The significance of Catra using a taser rn is that thats what she uses to tase Adora when she first defects

So i guess that Catastrophic Event just happened huh

episode 5

wh.. what

HUH?

bitch you did not dream that shit things are NOT perfect

But at the same time its.. so nice to see Catra and Adora getting along

Their flirting .. 💕

“Do you have a concussion or something?” or something..

 Lonnie’s voice is so cute ive forgotten omg

“I cant believe you like me, thats so embarrassing for you!” AHH SKDNFJ CUTE

This is like. Fanfic material

Too good to be true tho and also too terrible bc Adora is still trapped in the Horde

Does Regelio just never talk I love them

Shadowbitch treating Catra well? Them not hating each other??? Fake news 

“Everything is perfect.” Theres that phrase again

IS THIS FORCE CAPTAIN ORIENTATION

“I do not. Like you.” AT LEAST SCORPIA IS HONEST

“And what kind of name is Adora anyway?” KEHFJFJ IM PRETTY SURE THATS THE FIRST IN-SHOW ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF IT

Who tf is this lizard person with hair in the background

Adora is remembering shit!

this would be so scary i feel rlly bad for Adora

Dissociation be like-

“Everything’s perfect.” STOP SAYING THAT

“Everything will be perfect as long as we stay together.” :(((

This is INSANE

“Its like time and space arent working right” you dont say..

Why is Scorpia the only other person to act like they remember? Besides Catra in that one moment ,,?

“Just go with it okay?” Yeah like thats what youve been doing..

Gonna reiterate: this is insane!

Hahaha Adora and Catra are alone in a closet kiss- Sorry this is all just So Much i needed to break the tension

ADORA JUST TASERED CATRA I- I mean Payback i suppose

She took her with her to the woods aw

“As much as I wish things could be the way they used to be, we can’t go back!” hey im Feeling things

“Dont you get it? Im NEVER going with you!”

FUCK 

softly but with lots of emotion: fuck

Why does this old witch lady function in the au

“This happened before with Mara!” o- oh.

Im so confused

This is intense as all fuck “Bow and Glimmer! I need to find them!” love will save the world

CATRA IS ALIVE?! Catra is.. oh god. Oh what the fuck

episode 6

Oh Glimmer and her mom getting along.. havent seen that in a while

OH HE GLIMMER’S DAD IS ALIVE IN THIS WORLD?? OHHHHH

Bow is.. scholarly

Well at least theyre still friends

“Woah you look different than your mural..” lol

Where do I recognize Micah’s voice from??

EKDHFJ THEY STILL DONT HAVE A PRISON IN THIS AU

Glimmer’s outfit is a little different and I dont like it

Adora talking up her friends to prove she knows them is everything

BOW GRABS HIS SHIRT WHEN HE SAYS “THIS ISNT RIGHT”

okay Angela looks fierce as fuck here

How.. lucky that they just warped to Entrapta’s side

Trapped between realities.. uh oh

Whos gonna die in the portal

“That portal is centered on you!” FUCK?

MARA IN THE FLESH KINDA

ADORA CANT SACriFICE HERSELF BITCH

her friends monologuing about her- BEFORE THEY DISAPPEAR I- //WIPES TEAR

i was LITERALLY about to say ‘where’s Catra. this is the perfect time for her to show up.’ Lol. I was right!

HEY ADORA demon version 😬

Catra this is all YOUR fault fuckin hoe

All their past battle spots..

THIS IS INSANE

“I didnt break the world. But I am gonna fix it. You made your choice. Now live with it!” i have. no words

watching Catra disappear still hurt me .

.. ANGELA! Wait Wait Angela No

She cant go

Glimmer would be an orphan

“And now I chose to be brave. Take care of each other.” Im not crying you are Im not crying Adora is I am

That glare at Catra, holy shit

Glimmer didnt even get to say goodbye to her mother. Their last talk was a fight.

Bow pickin up Glimmer!

im gonna cry AGAIN

//whispering/ does that mean Glimmer is queen?

Oh fuck Big Baddie found Etheria

FUCK!

FUCK ME UP.

I was not prepared for this at all

anyway UH. if any of yall wanna yell with me feel free to respond or send an ask or a message or whatever. lets suffer together

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 4 - "Tribe Swap and TBH This Couldn’t Have Gone Any Better” - Pete

Tribe swap anyone? So right off the bat, I see that Jacob C. is the tribe captain. I immediately go to him and ask him to pick me for his tribe, so that I can pick Sammy and Sammy can pick Kevin and Kevin can pick a newbie and that newbie will pick a newbie and then that newbie will pick a newbie. GUESS WHAT? It worked!!! We did exactly that, and with all of us working together to build the tribe I think I realized I can trust them for now. I still know that Sammy has an idol, and so that’s useful information. Eventually we are gonna need to get him to drain it but I think maybe it’s gone now, if he could only use it for a few rounds. That’s also probably just what he wants us to think. I also hit a bump in the road with the information I’m holding. I’m trying to play this game very game-focused and not my usual hehe social game is gonna get me there way, even though in this cast...they really don’t care so maybe social would be the way to approach it. Either way, I ended up telling Kevin what I said about Beck in my last video confessional (I know you didn’t watch it so I’ll summarize; beck wanted to exclude kevin from an alliance that was Kevin’s idea). My only regret is that it might have been too soon to plant any seeds of doubt with Kevin about Beck, and that I might be getting played by both of them. But, on the other hand maybe it was the perfect time? We are going to merge....a long time from now. Like a super super long time from now. But, I don’t know I think telling him initiates a trust between us that I don’t have with the other people in this game. I’d really like to go to the end with Jacob C and maybe a random newbie. It just feels so far out of reach at this point, theres literally like...at least 7 more premerge boots and I really hate that. I despise big casts, and especially with this twist because there’s so much time in the middle of the round where everyone is just kind of like...sitting. And I don’t do well in those types of situations. So, it’s feeling bleak right now BUT if I do make it to merge, I’ll be very happy and then if I do make it to FTC I’ll be very happy and then if I don’t win, that’s to be expected and the usual state of what happens.

This tribe has my 2 "enemies". I don't trust either, I just tried to vote out Billy again too so that's cool. I'm going to go ahead and make friends with Jordan and stoner since they are loners, and we just need one more on top of that to make a new happy family. The thing with voting me out is, when you get me going, I will demolish the game, and given I'm a lot more comfortable in a tribe of 7, it shouldn't be that hard. Taking full control premerge is one of my favorite things to do, but you need a clear cut enemy to do it effectively. I have that enemy, no one else does. Let's see what we can do here.

Alright, so here's the ordeal.   First off, Bailey got medically evacuated due to getting three strikes (which might have stated this already in past confessional, but whatever,)  and secondly, Will lost out at arena, also getting the eliminated slot.   That left 21 people, and as my suspicions were, I expected a swap to occur, and that one did.   Went in expecting probably wouldn't be one of the first round picks, but ended up getting picked on tribe quicker than I anticipated.   Anyways, I am now on a tribe with Beck, Ben, Caeleb, Juls, Karen and Tommy.   I just couldn't be more happier to be with more active people on a tribe, instead of there just being myself and two others active on my original tribe.   Now, time to hope this new tribe can end the Yushu losing streak and come out as the sole immunity winner with today's challenge.   Then, finally, in regards to the Olympic Village, four times now where I have found nothing, but I went down each end of the village, so I at least now have some sort of insight to all the paths I can take in future village searching rounds.

HELL FUCKIN YEEAAAHH TRIBE SWAP!! and tbh this couldn’t have gone any better I think. I’ve got jacob c, eve, and sammy here and if we all vote together then that’s enough to be safe. I’m also maybe forming a bond with Landen cus they seem pretty cool and maybe I might be able to land a good social position in this tribe??? Hopefully someone secretly hates somebody so i can jump on that shit to keep me safe

okay so i’m sucking ass at this maverick bird game and i’ve only really performed well in one challenge ever so i’m in danger girls. everyone else here is used to challenges and have all this experience and then there’s my dumbass who has no fuckin clue what he’s doing. i could easily be first out this tribe tonight if no one wants to rock the boat and they all just vote based off challenge strength

I hate this challenge and I hate these flash games. That is all. 🙃

so i'm gonna try to keep this short because i have lots of writing to do for a history class, but basically, i've been praying for a swap to get away from the disaster that was sonkei, and last night, i finally got my wish! I wish we had gotten a break day to talk to everyone, because those are always nice when you swap, but i think i'll be able to do fine without it. my tribe breakdown could NOT have gone better! though i didn't end up with anybody i knew particularly well, i ended up with some people i've been talking to AND getting along with. Sammy is someone i love and someone i'm even buying a shirt from lol, nothing to do with the game he just told me about some of his graphic design work and i saw his shirts and i was like... let me buy it. Jacob, i love and we have very similar music taste. Then Nicole i've chatted with a bit, we're not close or anything but i like her! Pete, Eve, and Kevin were all entirely new. I think there's a lot of potential with pete, we've already bonded over crazy people in past games and our anxiety in games. whereas with eve things started off on an... AWKWARD foot, and with kevin, well i just suck at convo and he's not great either. some people are soooo dry and i just don't get it and as far as that goes i'm honestly struggling with some of these conversations like how r ppl so dry... but that being said i get along with everyone on this team and i think it's a really strong team, so i'm hoping that when results come out in like 15 minutes, i'm not proven wrong and we win! i tried really hard on the challenge and while i like everyone on the team (Jacob/Sammy specifically may be very useful as i'm also close with caeleb and they're working together.. Could be a good lil alliance type thing, potentially. I dunno.) i'm not 100% sure how safe i will be at tribal and really i just really, REALLY want a break from tribal. i'm very much #OverIt, and at this rate i genuinely might turn into Denise like Caeleb was joking about. I'm just sick of tribal council at this rate and I really don't want to go again, the arena makes these dynamics impossible and if I'm going to keep going I'm gonna have to keep managing everyone that goes there and back too.... OH BOOM RESULTS CAME OUT DURING TRIBAL AND WE WON! Thank FUCK. But the rest of that still stands about the confusing dynamics, how things are everchanging, and how avoiding tribal... I'm happy about it and hopefully I can continue to do it? I also need to talk things over with Billy, smooth over that dynamic and get him knowing I really do want him till the FINALS. I need him to trust me and the last tribal did not work for that. So it's go time. Thanks for helping me out, Miraitowa, my bomb af run begins now.

New Yushu, new us! Honestly, I'm really pleased with the tribe, but it sucks to see one of our own go. I have to, with a heavy heart, vote for Karen to go to arena. If all goes well, and I hope it will, they'll bring home the gold for us. :) 

wooooooo i'm nervous about tribal! unfortunately tribe yushu cannot catch a break even with new tribe members. voting out karen is best for my game but i'm afraid that me pushing for them to leave shows my cards a little too much and i fear that if we go to another tribal next round i'm gonna be in a bad position. i'll do what i can to maintain the connections i have rn and hopefully keep my life in this game going!! on that note. anxiety might kill me

Well I'm so MAD I LOST THE ARENA, I WAS IN LAST PLACE LAST PLACE! Then all of a sudden I take off and I literally was in first by 10 minutes and I get STUCK on the LAST CLUE and everyone else passes me and beats me. Which leaves me with no medal. Maybe this will lower my threat level because I keep flopping in all the comps but I literally have been trying to win these challenges and I just suck. However, I did make a key social connection with Beck during my time at the arena and I think this could be a good connection for my game. Then the swap comes and I'm like :V and I start messaging Beck because it's schoolyard pick and he messages me and says "If I pick you, will you pick someone I want?" and of course in my head I'm like "Well no duh I want to be in the majority" so I agree and he says "Darcy" so I know he has a tight bond with Darcy so whichever way Beck votes Darcy may follow. Then Darcy chooses Caeleb which I thought was a bit random but maybe they had talked a little and without any hesitation Caeleb chooses Juls *side eye emoji*. Juls I get a read that she is someone who is super dangerous. She's extremely likeable and has made no enemies despite going to tribal 3 times and everytime the person voted out came back. I think she may even be my biggest threat on this tribe. I don't necessarily know if she'll come for me but I don't want to find out. Then Juls talks about bringing Landen aka her partner in crime and in my head I'm like "Please god don't let Landen on this tribe." Thankfully the tribe right before it got to us picked him and she picked Ben because we wanted challenge strength and then Ben randomly chooses Karen aka the person who I wanted out first if Shosha ever want to tribal council and who has bombed most of the challenges this season. Then to make matters worse we BOMB this Immunity, I think these OG Blue people are cursed because they have been going to tribal every round besides the first round of the game. So now my closest ally in the game on my tribe is Beck. We call and Beck tells me about the dynamic how him and Juls know each other and he backstabbed her and he thinks she may want revenge. However, I believe they are about to host an ORG together so it's going to be really hard to convince him to turn on her because then she might say something if she's voted out because they will be hosting together. At the point I was at I was fine with Karen going home over Juls first because Ben said "Let's go for Juls." Then the targets ended up switching around and now everyone wants Karen, which I was still fine with until I get a message maybe an hour later from Karen saying "I really think we should stick together." and then I'm like well I guess this means if Karen stays I'm her #1 and that's very important on a tribe that'll only get smaller, so now I don't want Karen to go home but her odds are looking so narrow that she avoids the arena. However, I think she can pull out a Gold Medal and if she does leave I hope she does come back. I kinda view the tribe as there's the three of the OG Blues (Ben, Darcy, and Beck), the duo of Juls and Caeleb, and the sorta a duo of myself and Karen but nobody really sees us as a duo. Then Juls and Beck have a strong connection, Me and Beck have a strong connection, and Beck and Darcy have a strong connection. Beck has already voiced to me about blindsiding Ben, who I don't know if I can trust but at this point I'm not against it but I rather see Juls go, she's a way bigger threat and I don't think she will return with a gold and it causes tensions if she does return between Beck and Juls and it's off of me. My plan is to just keep Beck as close as I can I need to be his #1, I'll even take a close #2. This way I'm able to secure my safety in the tribe. I'm also trying to get closer to Caeleb in the route we end up going for Juls next and she doesn't come back I think I may be able to scoop him up as a number for me while being on this tribe and developing a bond that can last a while. Ideally Juls leaves tonight however, it'll sadly be Karen with that being said my perfect scenario is Karen wins the gold medal comes back, if we go to tribal again we meaning (myself, darcy, ben, and beck possibly karen) blindside Juls/Caeleb sending Juls home and she looses in the arena, I scoop up Caeleb, keep Karen close, Beck close, and then go for a blindside against Ben using (myself, karen, beck, and caeleb) even if Ben returns I think he'll feel most betrayed by Beck, and keep my options open from there. This way I'll start taking out people I feel like are dangerous that won't be targeted and I make my threat level smaller while creating strong bonds with people, and have other people be mad at each other. Hopefully all of this while we win a few immunities so that we aren't completely decimated by the time we get to a swap.  

This swap is good, I either wanted Billy or Nik out and that seems to be happening. Nik and Sarah aren't talking to me. I'm immune. Y'all confusing

Pretty sure I sent in confessional already this round, but why not, let's send another.  I don't got too much to add since my past confessional, but my tribe lost immunity.   Seeming like the vote is going to be Karen, but who knows, could be me, or could be someone else, I am not fully certain how this vote will end up playing out.

i love my new tribe with my whole entire heart!! sm i going to tribal again? maybe so. HOWEVER, they’re all angels and i can’t wait to continue to work with them 

hello i'm retracting my previous confessional bc now i actually have a reason to vote out someone who isn't karen. the vote is flipping on ben which i'm okay with because apparently he did something that upset caeleb and i want everybody to be comfortable playing this game. so hey, at least i know i'm safe tonight

😖😖😖😠😠😠😭😭😭😭😵😵😵🤫🤫🤫🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Anyway so my UTR game is over and now it’s time to make a confessional! We’ve swapped tribes or whatever and of course I get swapped onto a tribe without nicole or Kevin so basically my back is against the wall /:. Anyway so I have tommy, juls, caeleb, Ben, becks and Darcy on my tribe now and they all suck at challenges apparently sjdbdjdndj like I didn’t do well on immunity but I didn’t even try which in retrospect wasn’t a good idea because now these freaks are targeting me as the weakest. So Ben and becks last night were basically like yeah we’re probably voting for you /: like first of all....fuck u, the only reason you tell me that is because you don’t think I have a chance to save myself, I don’t want your stupid pity confession, at least TRY to strategize with me. It took everything in me not to snap at them, I mean I kinda went off on becks but w/e they can’t be so naive. Anyway so I was talking to nicole and Kevin trying to save my ass and we figured out that I would have majority if I got me & tommy and the two people who were on other tribe so that was my mission for today. I think I talked enough with both caeleb and juls to convince them to work with tommy and I but I’m also a little weary /: I can’t be too sure and that scares me so anyway I’m gonna look for an idol hopefully I find something and hopefully no one is playing my ass right now or else it’s GG to me /: also becks is on board with voting Ben which like yikes if Ben finds out lol. Ben messaged me recently so I need to deal with that because I assume someone told him something ugh why do these newbies suck ):

Sooooooo I really need to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I didn't want Nik or I to go so I thought that we could avoid it, however chris didn't wanna swap. This really sucks because I didn't want Nik to go but I didn't make any effort to try and save him, which is odd for me. Had Chris and I voted out Sarah, it would've been fine. However, I'm now probably gonna be the biggest target in this tribe. BRING IT BITCHES I'M READY.

Maybe I should watch more of the actual Survivor show, but I'm now fully realizing that how well someone plays the game does not directly correlate to them winning...it's all politics and drama 🙃 

These people are literally insane. This is hilarious. I'm still on thin ice but this position is a lot better than my last one. Billy sucks. Common theme. Nik showed up at the live tribal but not to anyone's dms.

After seeing the MESSY ass tribal Sonkei just had, AGAIN, I am so glad I finally got the fuck off that tribe and onto a new one. The curse of Suckei really does exist, it's an absolute trainwreck tribe... That being said I had to laugh, and it might go down as one of the best tribes in history. Those iconic trainwrecky Survivor tribes are just.. ugh. That being said, I am SO SICK OF EMMA SURVIVING. PLEASE KICK HER ASS THE FUCK OUT OF THE GAME LIKE I HATE HER! ......Okay moving on from that outburst :) One thing this does remind me of though, is that I need to become more active in my pursuit to understand dynamics. I kinda wanted to take a step back and just observe during the swap, because usually I overplay out. And here, I just want to chill, and let people kind of forget that I ran shit on Original Sonkei. Forget that I was the leader there, who dominated everything with an iron fist (even if sometimes accidentally... Trainwreck vibes!) and just think of me as a cute derpy 16 yr old player again. That was my plan, but I'm starting to get nervous. This late in the game and I'm still in no official alliance chats, I may be losing Billy, and i'm ANXIOUS about the future. I definitely need to work harder on things moving forward, so that's exactly what I'm going to do.

IM READY TO KILL STONER AND DARCY AND BEN AND EVERYONE IN THAT ARENA EXCEPT NIK FUCK THAT TRIBE THAT VOTED HIM OUT AND FUCK THAT ARENA FUCK EVERYBODY I DONT EVEN REMEMBER WHAT TRIBE HES FROM BUT WHATEVER ITS LATE AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO SLEEP EARLIER AND NOW IMMA BE REALLY SLEEPY FOR MY ANNOYING ASS JOB THAT I KEEP DOING OVERTIME FOR CUS MY SHITTY ASS COWORKERS KEEP LEAVING EARLY I GOT OFF TOPIC ANYWAYS FUCK ARENA AND FUCK THE WINNERS AND FUCK THE RETURNEES AND FUCK SONKEI AND FUCK YUSHU FUCKIN DISCOUNT WANNABE YUJO BITCHES OKAY EVE SARAH AND I WILL GET YOUR ASSES 

psa krispy kreme is evil like they have bullshit random ass “deals” like 8 days a week for NO REASON like this one time it was New Year’s Eve so duh it’ll already be busy but corporate decided hey let’s do an annoying ass BOGO for $2 deal to torture our retail workers and I was working fucking drive thru that day and lemme tell you there have been very few times my patience and emotional strength have been toyed with by the force of god and i sure as hell wasnt prepared to have it at fucking 8 in the fucking morning i was so tempted to just tell every customer we make our donuts with bleach and orphan meat. it’s fucking 1 AM and i told myself i’d sleep at like 8 or 9 like a responsible adult but nooOOOOoo i just HAD to forget to eat so i have to make food and eat it so now i’m at midnight and gotta do this challenge or whatever so now i have fuckin 5 hours for my ugly ass to get enough beauty rest to be a lovely customer service representative of Krispy Kreme Enterprises™ and i’m gonna hate waking up i’m dreading it i have so much to do. i got off topic but yeah fuck arena fuck everyone in this game go eat a dick i’m upset and idk what else to say i ran out of angry words fuck that challenge and fuck billy dude why is he still here fuck the fuckin olympics nobody benefits from them except the greedy billionaires at the top like not even the athletes benefit that much they still gotta work average jobs like the rest of us like i always though olympic athletes were rich and shit but no they get screwed over royally and the places that host the olympics get shit on horribly it’s just an all around awful event doing nothing but spreading blind nationalism which is dangerous fuck america dude america’s a piece of shit and i’m allowed to say that i’m from florida fuck you anyways i’m tired bye fuck this  

and fuckin who the fuck is ben dude like no Nik was robbed bring Nik back fuckin ben from fuckin wannabe yujo tribe didn’t he go in a unanimous vote yikes also shoutout to whatever dumbass cancelled his vote that was a waste like why didn’t you save that shit dude fuck arena btw and fuck sonkei lmao loser ass tribe go win a challenge or something wow people are really gonna hate me when then airs but oh well i’m venting i’m at a breaking point and i don’t wanna fuckin go to work dude fuck fuckin yushu and fuck sonkei just throw the whole tribe away it’s Yujo final 3 bitches and fuck everybody else 

literally like i was added and my phone was still loading ALL the messages from all that fucking lag and already they started the round before i knew what was going on so i was just blind going in so fuckin stoner ass weee bitch got it when i wasn’t even there like ooh you won a challenge against nobody go fuck yourself by the time i could see the messages it was already over and they were like “sns you were here :/// go die i guess lmao loser” so yeah i’m a lil heated and it’s fucking 1:30 i can only get 3 and a half hours of sleep fuck this 

okay now it’s real strategy time. Nik just got robbed and I found out from Sarah that Billy’s leading the new Sonkei and wants her out next. Okay first off how the hell was he not voted out for not even doing the challenge? Second, if he’s targeting Yujo’s then he’s officially made the biggest mistake in the game. Eve and I are now on a mission to lead the Sonkei tribe to get rid of Billy as he should’ve been day 1. I think I can maybe convince Jordan and Chris, we just need 3 to have a chance. 

After swap 1

After nik got voted out

after winning arena

I’m fucking tireddddddd of going to tribal this game is not shaking out how I want it to. 

TRIBE SWAP BLESS THE TRIBE SWAP! i did truly like caeleb sammy and jacob a lot as people but like I was so going home if we lost its crazy. Now hopefully I can work with them without such tight a line keeping us together. ANYWAYS! we swap and I am in a fantastic position, i basically just took over tribe in terms of power. First thing i do is allign with stoner which is so funny to me. I realized hes someone whose general clout in the community is more disliked than me, so maybe i can make him my goat. I wonder if hes thinking the same about me. I wanted to work with billy but that guy is crazy like and that would be fine, if he was just normal crazy, but hes also the type of crazy thats like flip a vote at tribal for no reason and like I cant deal with that. I thought he had potnetial for a jordan pines minion, but sadly I think he might have to go. Anyways we lose teh challenge and em wants to target nik, em is somoene i super vibe with tbh so we get on board. HOwever she doesnt watn to tell sarah and im like OPPORTUNITY. I have had some great bonding with Sarah and think I have secured her loyaly to myself. I let her know about nik and got her to play dumb while still keeping her in the know. Now i think shes really loyal to me So after all that heres where stand. i have a 4 person alliance with me Stoner Em and Jacob which will likely take out billy if we lose again.the plan is the use sarah as a fifth on the side but my plan is a lil different. I want to keep sarah as tight to me as possible and when the time comes to take her out, do what I got to do to keep the people I think will progress me furthest in teh game. I don't think I am in danger of going this tribe swap so I need to use this opportunity to make sure I am okay for whatever comes after it.

[parkinglotboy1]

Do all the asks

oh heck okay

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Youm!!

2. Are you outgoing or shy? generally shy but sometimes I get out there

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? youm again!!

4. Are you easy to get along with? yea I like to think I am

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I think so I trust her

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? the kind with cool names who live thousands of miles away lol

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? definitely

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? youuuuuum

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?  not when it’s with people I know and like

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? youm

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? just says “Momma” lol

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? uhhhhhh call on me by chicago, witchy woman by the eagles, swayin to the music by johnny rivers and i don’t feel like naming two more lol

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? yes !!

14. How many people have you slept with? one lol

15. What good thing happened this summer? got into a relationship w the love of my mf life

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? heck

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? definitely lol

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? I’ve had a lot of crushes in the past I don’t even remember who my first one was lmao

19. Do you like bubble baths? I would if there was a bath I could get into tbh

20. Do you like your neighbors? they aight

21. What are you bad habits? procrastinating lmao

22. What’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex? hotel room ?

23. Do you have trust issues? not really

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? washing my nuts 

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my chest and my chin/neck area tbh

26. What do you do when you wake up? I text you 

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I wish I was a bit tanner tbh I’m v pale

28. Who are you most comfortable around? uhhh yooum

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? every last one LMAO

30. Do you ever want to get married? oh HECK

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? no 

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? god I can’t pick lmao

33. Spell your name with your chin. not gonna do that rn lol

34. Do you play sports? What sports? LOL

35. Is having a lot of sex important in a relationship? not necessarily a lot but some is good

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yea ofc

37. What do you say during awkward silences? I say oof

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? loong beautiful dark hair, brown eyes, thick thighs, name is Zephia

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? walmart lmao

40. What do you want to do after high school? I mean I went to college 

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone lol

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m either uncomfortable or paying close attention lol

43. Do you smile at strangers? if they look friendly 

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? space omg

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? nothing that’s why I be getting up at 2pm lol

46. What are you paranoid about? gubmint spying into my phone and shit

47. Have you ever been high? yes

48. Have you ever been drunk? yes

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? nothing recently lol

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? I don’t rly wear hoodies anymore but the last one was either gray or like a burgundy red 

51. Ever wished you were someone else? I wish I was my dog

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I wish I was able bodied lmao

53. How many times do you masturbate a month? heck 

54. Ever been in love? HECK

55. Name a person you hate. fuckin kpop blogs lol

56. Ever broken someone’s heart. I’ve disappointed and hurt a few people in a romantic sense but never a real heartbreak I’m guessing

57. Do you have trust issues? nah

58. What kind of kinky things do you like? oh u kno

59. Do you believe in ghosts? unsure tbh

60. What should you be doing? I should go pee tbh

thanks bb I loff you

[ahmuteun]

All pleease

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Uuuuhhhhh n LOL whoops

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Depends on the situation but I think I’m more on the shy side

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

heheHEEHEHEHEH LET’S NOT GO THERE

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I mean I think so but idk

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

O boy

I mean he has the one time I died soooo

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Idfk man, I don’t have a type

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

LOL idk I’ll probably die single but I’ve been wrong before. H and t would probably say yes buT WE DON’T KNOW THE FUTURE NOW DO WE???

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

It depends on the context/ situation

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Uummmmm I’m not sure, it was probably h or n maybe??

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“When do u wanna go?”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Moonlit lilac sky - jas

You and me - yoon mi rae

Countless - shinee

All night - soyou

History - rich brian

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yeah it’s nice

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Eeehhhhhh I guess I believe in luck but I do believe in miracles

15. What good thing happened this summer?

HAH

I mean I don’t know if I can list just one good thing that happened because, aside from all the drama and crap that went down, it was a good summer spent with people that I care about and created good memories with

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I mean I plan on it so yes

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

I do cause statistically speaking, it’s so unlikely that we’re the only living things in the universe, even if it’s just tiny little microbes

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nah, I hardly ever spoke to him cause I was a shy little third grader LOL

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I don’t like baths at all lmao

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I mean I only talked to one of them but he seems chill so sure

21. What are your bad habits?

Procrastinating and making bad decisions™

22. Where would you like to travel?

Korea, but I still wanna go to Canada for spring break. Or just visit New York

23. Do you have trust issues?

Yep LOL

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Idk I don’t think I have a favorite part

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Most of it LOL but specifically my belly and arms/ shoulders

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Wonder why I woke up before my alarm or snooze my alarm LOL

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

I’m already super pale and I’m fine with that so neither

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My best buds: jen, cat, h, n, and t

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Oof I mean I don’t really have one so nah

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Let’s cross that bridge when/ if we get there LOL

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

I would cry if it wasn’t

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Idk man I can’t be bothered to figure out two celebrities I would want to bang

33. Spell your name with your chin.

No

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

HAH no

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

Tv, easily

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

O yeah

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Idk I guess I just try to keep the conversation going however I can

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

I don’t have one

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Forever21, h&m, idk that’s it I think

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’m already in college so

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

No, it depends on the situation

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

It depends lmao wot

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Depends

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Space cause that’s probably safer

Wait no, bottom of the ocean and I can just fuckin die LOL

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

The fact that I have shit I need to do

46. What are you paranoid about?

People finding out my secrets I guess??? Or something happening to the people I care about

47. Have you ever been high?

Nah, I mean I was once I got my wisdom teeth out but I don’t think that counts lol

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yep LOL

Side note: my tolerance is not what it used to be :c

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

I mean people are already finding out so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

HAHAHA pink lmao

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Maybe when I was younger but not anymore

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My body/ weight lmao

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Idk, I have a lot of tarte stuff so probably tarte

54. Favourite store?

Foverver21 probably

55. Favourite blog?

Idk I don’t have one

56. Favourite colour?

Blue

57. Favourite food?

KOREAN FOOD

58. Last thing you ate?

A sandwich

59. First thing you ate this morning?

A banana pancake

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Idk I don’t think so

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

No, I’m a fuckin pansy

62. Been arrested? For what?

nOPE

63. Ever been in love?

I thought I was at one point but looking back, no

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

It’s honestly v underwhelming and not worth telling

65. Are you hungry right now?

I’m rlly full rn but h wants to go get pho with n later so hopefully by then I will be lmao

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Nah, I don’t think I ever could cause my real friends have done so much for me

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Idk both cause I use both

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Nah I’m watching youtube

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Jen, cat, h, n, and t

71. Craving something? What?

BOBA FUCK

72. What colour are your towels?

White

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Two if I’m at my own apartment LOL wot

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Nah

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Like three?? I had more but my mom got rid of them :c

75. Favourite animal?

My bb duke

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla I think? It depends

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

I’m too indecisive to have a flavor lmao

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Black

80. What colour pants?

Black LOL

81. Favourite tv show?

Grey’s anatomy

How to get away with murder

Brooklyn 99

Criminal minds

Idk there’s probably more but I can’t think of them

82. Favourite movie?

I have too many

The prestige

Star wars

Indiana jones

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

I never saw the second one so

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

I never saw jump street lmao

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

I don’t have one

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

I dunno, squirt was cute

87. First person you talked to today?

N LOL

88. Last person you talked to today?

Wait it was also probably n LOL

89. Name a person you hate?

I don’t hate anyone

90. Name a person you love?

My brothers

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

yES O MY GOD

92. In a fight with someone?

No not really???

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Like one lmao

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Well sweaters idk but I own like two hoodies but idk where one of them is soooo

95. Last movie you watched?

Uhhh venom I think?

96. Favourite actress?

Idk I don’t have one

97. Favourite actor?

See above

98. Do you tan a lot?

I’m called “ghost” for a reason so no LOL

99. Have any pets?

Yep

100. How are you feeling?

Very full lmao

101. Do you type fast?

I mean I can type at a relatively quick speed

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yep LOL

103. Can you spell well?

No not really lmao, but I’m not completely awful at it

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Uh, I mean if I can’t think of anyone I guess I don’t

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Nah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

LOL I mean apparently

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yeah

108. What should you be doing?

Going home and getting ready

109. Is something irritating you right now?

I mean kind of

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Uh no?

111. Do you have trust issues?

Wasn’t I asked this already??

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Everyone at tsdon lmao

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Uhhh “court” or “court court” as Jonathan would say lol

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Ye, I go to school out of state

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not really anymore

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Still watching youtube lol

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Ye

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Ye, I really want egg drop soup

119. Favourite book?

Idk man

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Nah

121. Are you mean?

I mean I like to think that I’m generally a nice person or I try to be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

On tests/ assignments, sure. On people, no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

I just wash them lol

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No cause I’m not a fuckin idiot lmao

125. Do you believe in true love?

Idfk man

126. Are you currently bored?

Meh I’m not that bored

127. What makes you happy?

Spending time with my mates/ loved ones

128. Would you change your name?

Probably not

129. What your zodiac sign?

Gemini woooo

130. Do you like subway?

Ye

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

HAH jokes on u, he used to but I already rejected his bitchass

He’s still one of my best friends tho, I’m really glad to have met him

Holy shit, that was like around this time last year woah

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Didn’t I answer this too???

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

The lyrics from moonlit lilac sky by jas, you and me by yoon mi rae, and honestly by eric nam

134. Can you count to one million?

I mean I could but I don’t want to

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

I dunno I can’t recall rn

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?Open cause the ac unit is in the other room

137. How tall are you?

5’2, I’m smol

138. Curly or Straight hair?

My hair is straight/ kinda wavy

But if u mean preference then idk I don’t have one

139. Brunette or Blonde?

I don’t have a preference

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter, I hate the heat

141. Night or Day?

I like both

142. Favourite month?

Any fall or spring months

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Hell no lmao

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

I like dark and milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

TEA cause I’m a little bitch and I don’t like the taste of coffee

146. Was today a good day?

Yeah, I mean I hated working out but it was still a good day

147. Mars or Snickers?

I’m not crazy about either

148. What’s your favourite quote?

Idk, the quotes I used to really like don’t really apply anymore

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes, cause I am one LOL

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

I’m in the study section of the library and I can’t be bothered to go find a book in the stacks so I’ll pass lmao

[teachers-are-nerds]

why does my brain keep saying very loudly and rapidly “i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die” even though i absolutely do not want to die right now i dont even have the motivation to scream but i wonder if a solid scream would be cathartic

theres just so many things i need to complain about my heart is pounding so hard im in pain and im shaking and everything feels bad and i cant change my meds bc i cant contact my psychiatrist from france or like... more importantly figure out the logistics

i dont wanna go back to the states though bc gburg is probably gonna be hella toxic for me again even though my schedule for next year is super good and im super looking forward to it

why did i send home all of my sheet music and why didnt i send home my jackets holy wow that’s gonna be a lot of weight i cant pay for with the luggage on my way home

what if im not mentally ill enough for meds i know i have to change them bc at this moment i am NOT feeling helped by them but what if another med will make me even worse and what if i am actually just shitty at managing symptoms and how come everyone else seems to be able to manage or hide or work through their shit and i have to go and make a big fucking deal out of it all and i literally even wrote my prof like “hi btw ive been suicidal thats why i havent been in class” and that’s just using mental health as a fucking excuse it’s not like an hour and a half of sitting through a class from which i glean approximately nothing would actually kill me, as it were lol

i have to get the key to christine but that means 20 min walk home and 20 min walk back and maybe the sunlight will be good for me but i also need to write the other two pages of my paper that im obviously not doing now since im complaining and making a bajillion zillion posts all over social media lol it is a cry for help how come i cant make myself do the things i need to do im literally in physical pain because i cant make myself do the paper that was due an entire week ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how the actual fuck did i even graduate high school how did i fucking survive

well i mean i didnt drink in high school but i also got apx 3h of sleep a night so idk

im not drinking today though like i refuse to do that today bc money and also i need to just uhh not drink for a while because that’s what healthy people do. not day drink on weekdays.

i thought i was better abt that this year than last year but i guess not as much as i thought but at least im not sleeping in my friend’s bed every other night?? which is an improvement

god i fucking hate that i cut myself out of the queermmunity like that even though it’s better for me i just wish i did it in a more mature way im so fucking angry at myself im not even homesick at all i miss like 4 or 5 people from the states in total and i feel fucking awful that theres a bunch of people who will message me like “omg miss u” and i know i miss them too but like i feel like im lying when i respond “miss u 2″ and that isnt fair at all and i hate it i hate feeling like im lying to my friends i hate that i dont miss them i hate that this semester is supposedly the best semester of my life and i still have to convince myself not to step in front of a bus sometimes and i hate that The Brain Demons are clawing my stomach out from the inside but at least i havent purged in a while so there’s that and usually i can talk myself out of other self harm shit

and putting the content of my complaining post in the tags is to warn people if they read it but also it’s gonna make some people like OH NO UR IN DANGER LET ME READ THIS and i dont ?? i dont want that???????? but i also do???? good fucking lord i hate being such an attention whore

i hate that im a whore in general

like i dont regret any sexploits ive had whatever but i hate that i feel jealous of some people because i dont want to monopolize their lives and i dont want to prevent them from sharing love w other people i jsut want people to cuddle and kiss and be romantic with and it hurts but i also cant ocmplain abt it with my friends bc they also are like dammit i want a partner and me i have a few consistent sex partners but i want romantic partners but i need to change the people with whom i spend my time because they are not great for my mental health and i hate that bc i love them dearly but im destroying myself just in a different way from last year

the people i loved last year are driving me up a goddamn wall and i hate that i hate that i hate that so much bc i still care about them but im such an idiot i cant stand up for what feels right or against what feels wrong to me bc ill jsut get yelled at and i know that means i shouldnt be close to them im so hurting today

everything feels like too much and im shaking and still avoiding responsibilities and idk if writing this post is gonna get it out of my head enough bc on one hand i might tire myself out and not feel the need to write about it more to people and not have to bother them or like idk continue distracting conversations or maybe having people worry and try to talk to me will give me something to ignore so i can make myself write my paper idfk!!!!!!!!! but on the other hand uhh what if this is just going to make me fixate even more on my problems im screaming in sid e

oh ps im realizing that my family dynamic, while much much miuchn much much better than so fuckin many other people (feels conceited to say but im grateful for it and feel i cant or shouldnt talk abt it in case it triggers something in those with shitty home situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) im recognizing that smth about the dynamic feels unstable as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i finish my paper, turn it in, sit for 20 minutes of class, go breathe, come back for the end

idfk othe rstudents need to talk to the prof too i cant monopolize him with the same content from my email to him and the same “i need help but idk what help i need” statement from last week or whatever

idk

idk idk idk will summer help me at all? will i live at home? will that be better or worse for me? can i remove all the materialism from my life? obv no but i feel i need to get rid of everything i own to cleanse myself of whatever and also i feel like cutting my own stomach and other organs out of myself but i obv cant and promise i wont try that lol

what work will i have or internships i dont have money i feel trapped will i hate myself forever will i be stuck in loops forever i will absolutely live long enough to find out and i will overcome things but like jesus chriiiiiiiiiiiiist im Not Good rn im sorry

yells

[floralkittygambler]

Return of The Thing

Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening -  Where I’ve Been:

Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set.  I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.

A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:

Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways. 

In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit. 

On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others.  The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.

I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online. 

And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!

Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.

Hip Happenin Now:

Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog: 

Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot.  But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others.  For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now.  Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care

[fangbang]

jesus christ

1.    a song from the year you were born: song 2 by blur 2.    a song that reminds you of school: pumped up kicks by foster the people 3.    a song tied to a specific moment in your life: answered already 4.     a song that is not sung in your native language: reich mir die hand-blutengel 5.     a song over 5 minutes long: oh comely-neutral milk hotel 6.     a song under 2 minutes long: i dont like music under 2 mins long. pisses me off bc it ends too dam soon 7.     an instrumental: rebuilding a planet- brendon small 8.     a classical piece: dont listen 2 it i aint a nerd 9.     a song with no percussion: what the fuck 10.   something you’ve heard performed live: freak on a leash by korn. god fuckin yes 11.   something you’d give ANYTHING to hear performed live: black damask (the fog) by miw. big fav 12.   a song by an artist who’s from where you’re from (town/city/state/country): happy? by mudvayne. theyre from my home town! 13.   a song made suddenly precious because of a special someone: answered 14.   a song made suddenly awful because of a special someone: hatredy by dethklok. Bad Ex actually made me hate metaloc for the longest time but ive gotten over it n reclaimed it since ey 15.   something to BELT SHAMELESSLY/do DIVA HANDS to: answered 16.   something to SCREAM ALONG to: head like a hole-nine inch nails 17.   a song for raging: black me out- against me! 18.   a song that demands lipsyncing into a makeshift microphone: the black parade-mcr 19.   the last song you had stuck in your head: see you again- tyler the creator 20.   a song you’re dying to master all the words to: dude i dunno. dont rly care 21.   a song that you could SLAY at karaoke: the drug in me is you by falling in reverse goddd kill my past emo self 22.   a song you can’t help but dance to: shake it by metro station. jesus christ 23.   a song that makes you want to dance on a table: black candy by danzig 24.   a song that makes you wanna STRIP:  closer by nin always 25.   a song with a great music video: marilyn mansons cover of tainted loves video is so very iconic 26.   a song that makes you act out the music video when you hear it: necessary evil by miw. chris stomps a lot its good 27.   a song with counting: bodies-drowning pool 28.   a song with spelling: america-miw 29.   a song with lots of clapping: what the hell. 30.   a song 40 years older than you: i only listen to music from like. 2000 lol 31.   a song you wish your parents didn’t know the words to: what 32.   a song whose lyrics shocked you once you were old enough to understand them: shrug emoji 33.   a song you have ZERO patience for: blurred lines by whats his fuck. dont remember his name but everything about it is garbage 34.   a song you’d like your favorite artist to cover: miw covered du hast already what more could i want 35.   a great song you discovered thanks to a movie: uhh tear you apart-she wants revenge 36.   a great song you discovered thanks to television: if i had a heart-fever ray 37.   a song you’re ashamed to have in your music library: teen idle- marina & the diamonds 38.   ok what’s the song you were too ashamed to even post for #37: everywhere i go- hollywood undead lmao 39.   the most played song in your music library: probs uhh the perfect drug by nin as of rn 40.   favorite disney song: kidnap the sandy claws bc im a basic goth bitch

[darhwolf]

All the asks

Lotta personal stuff. Enjoy

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?Never held hands

2. Are you outgoing or shy?Shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?nobody at the moment

4. Are you easy to get along with?yeah if you aren’t a dick :P

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?I don’t really “Like” anybody at the moment

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?Really nice people. Simple as that

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?Nope.probably never will :/

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?on my mind as just randomly thinking about them? @annoyinglyoptimisticbread​ On my mind as in liking somebody, absolutely nobody

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?Nah

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?like- really deep? Probably my friend Kayla

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“Don’t you die either”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?I don’t fuckin know :P

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Nah

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?Luck? yeah sure. Miracles? nah

15. What good thing happened this summer?Not killing myself

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Never kissed, probably never will

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?Yeah, with the universe infinitely expanding

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?nah.

19. Do you like bubble baths?yus, but I haven’t taken one in a LONG time

20. Do you like your neighbors?yeah, but I don’t really talk to them

21. What are you bad habits?Self harm, but I’m on a clean streakeating

22. Where would you like to travel?Dunno :/

23. Do you have trust issues?Hell yes

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?with school? getting home

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?My stomach. I’m fucking fat as shit and I hate myself

26. What do you do when you wake up?Eat

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around?Probably my friend Kayla

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?Don’t have any lol

30. Do you ever want to get married?Maybe

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?nope

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?Maisie Williams and Sophie Turner lol

33. Spell your name with your chin.Qpledxc d

34. Do you play sports? What sports?Nope

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?as much as I like music, I love Game of Thrones and Stranger Things moreMusic

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?Yes

37. What do you say during awkward silences?nothing because I, too, am awkward

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?I don’t fucking know. Somebody who would REALLY LEGITIMATELY love me

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?None, I prefer online shops :D

40. What do you want to do after high school?Youth Therapy. In other words, help people like me so they aren’t so fucked up, like me

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?MOST people. not everyone

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?I’m tired, I’m feeling like nobody cares about me, I’m lonely, I’m depressed, any combination of those, or all of the above

43. Do you smile at strangers?Yeah, why not?

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?Bottom of the ocean, assuming it’s safe

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?I have no clue

46. What are you paranoid about?I don’t know any in particular

47. Have you ever been high?I will be tomorrow because I’m getting my WISDOM TEETH REMOVED I’M NOT READY TO BE HIGH

48. Have you ever been drunk?nope

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?nope

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?Blue

51. Ever wished you were someone else?Yes. Hundreds of times

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?that I wasn’t so fucking hideous

53. Favourite makeup brand?None

54. Favourite store?Teespring, probably. Or Redbubble

55. Favourite blog?@queereindeer6667​ or @annoyinglyoptimisticbread​

56. Favourite colour?Imagine a blueish color. Imagine Rain. imagine a dark blueish color associated with rain. That one

57. Favourite food? Chocolate or Pizza

58. Last thing you ate?Chocolate muffin

59. First thing you ate this morning?Chocolate muffin

60. Ever won a competition? For what?nope

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?nope

62. Been arrested? For what?nope

63. Ever been in love? Maybe

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?never been kissed, never will

65. Are you hungry right now?not really

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?Yes because they fucking care about me more. They actually see my depressed posts and ask “Hey, I saw your post earlier, everything alright?” I post depressed shit to my snapchat and nobody bats an eye

67. Facebook or Twitter?Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?Nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? Miriam, Z, Kayla

71. Craving something? What?Nope

72. What colour are your towels?There’s light blue and dark brown, also tan but I don’t use those

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?2

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?One stuffed animal, a raven

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?8-9? I keep them in my room because memories :D

75. Favourite animal?Dog

76. What colour is your underwear?Black, Blue

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?Golden Ribbon

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?Not wearing a shirt rn

80. What colour pants?Gray, mostly

81. Favourite tv show?Game of Thrones or Stranger Things

82. Favourite movie?Deadpool or Finding Nemo

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?Haven’t seen either

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?Haven’t seen either

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?dunno

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?holy shit obviously Dory hell yes

87. First person you talked to today?my dad

88. Last person you talked to today?my dad

89. Name a person you hate?Jason Hill

90. Name a person you love?My dad

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?Not in particular

92. In a fight with someone?Nope

93. How many sweatpants do you have?None

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?1

95. Last movie you watched?Kingsman: The Golden Circle

96. Favourite actress?Maisie Williams

97. Favourite actor?Kit Harington

98. Do you tan a lot?nope

99. Have any pets?nope

100. How are you feeling?Right now? “Eh”

101. Do you type fast?kinda?

102. Do you regret anything from your past?Too many things

103. Can you spell well?Yes? I think?

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?Hell yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?nah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?No. Had it broken? yeah

107. Have you ever been on a horse?Yes

108. What should you be doing?Nothing atm

109. Is something irritating you right now?No

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?not that much

111. Do you have trust issues?hell yeah

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?my dad

113. What was your childhood nickname?Never had one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?Yup

115. Do you play the Wii?Used to

116. Are you listening to music right now?Nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?yes

118. Do you like Chinese food?yes

119. Favourite book?Call of The Wild

120. Are you afraid of the dark?nah

121. Are you mean?I hope not

122. Is cheating ever okay?No. Never. 

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?No

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?No

125. Do you believe in true love?Maybe?

126. Are you currently bored?Nah

127. What makes you happy?FUCKINH HELPING FRIENDS IS THE FUCKING BEST LIKE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS (Cough cough @queereindeer6667​ :P)

128. Would you change your name?Nah

129. What your zodiac sign?Aquarius

130. Do you like subway?God yes I love subway

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Check: are they in a relationshipCheck 2: Am I in a relationshipCheck 3: Would we be compatible?If check one and 2 are false, but check 3 is true, then I would wait for them to ask me out, but I would give them small hints

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?My friend Kayla

133. Favourite lyrics right now?Favorite? none. Ones that apply the MOST to me are “Same shit, different day”

134. Can you count to one million?Yeah

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?I dunno

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?closed

137. How tall are you?6′1

138. Curly or Straight hair?Either are fine

139. Brunette or Blonde?I like both :D

140. Summer or Winter?Winter

141. Night or Day?Night

142. Favourite month?I don’t know. October, December, or March?

143. Are you a vegetarian?Nope

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?Dark or milk. White is OK

145. Tea or Coffee?Neither

146. Was today a good day?So far it has been

147. Mars or Snickers?Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?I don’t feel like posting it. I’m lazy today

149. Do you believe in ghosts?yes

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?“whether they had been dreaming or not. So, in order to test this idea, he ex-”

[tessaractwasp]

1-140 question meme

wait you want me to do all of them?? Ok I guess (that actually makes me kinda happy lol)

3 Fears losing people, never getting away from home, and that everyone hates me

3 things I love music, reading, writing

2 turns on intelligence, muscular, socialism

2 turns off misogyny, speech impediments, capitalism

My best friend @queercedricdiggory​   

Sexual orientation not sure tbh. Maybe pan? Maybe lesbian? Who can say. Not me.

How tall am I 5′ 2 3/4″

What do I miss right now my friend Shannon who doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore

Favourite color purple

Do I have a crush yes

Favourite place nature. there’s a brook in the woods at the bottom of the hill I live on. its magical.

What am I listening to right now my spotify playlist “A Very Specific Mood Brought To You By Probably Non-Lesbian Lesbian Icons” currently Mitski’s “A Horse Named Cold Air”

Shoe size 6.5 usually

Eye color cockroach brown

Hair color brown/black (ft hidden rainbow)

Meaning behind my URL oh god I was like 15 when I made it so tesseract from the first avengers but tessaract bc my name is tessa, and wasp bc she was my favorite marvel character. 

Favourite song favorite song????? uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh right now probably Mitski’s “Pink in the Night”

Favourite band pdofjsodifjolikdsjf uhm IDK my top artists rn are Mitski, Hozier and Florence + The Machine

How I feel right now frustrated.

Someone I love @azirahell​

My current relationship status single and READY to flaMINGLE

My relationship with my parents hahahahahahahah better than most I guess. But strained af atm

Favourite season SPRING

Tattoos and piercing i have navel and ear piercings

Tattoos and piercing i want WAY more ear piercings, I wanna get that custom “constellation piercing” thing but $$$$ also tattoos for each of my immediate family members (so far a turtle and elephant on opposite ankles, a power symbol on the back of my neck probably, an origami rose on one tricep, a wolf silhouette on the other)

The reasons I joined Tumblr fandom probably? and peer pressure. thx nadia

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? only when Im actively texting someone when we go to bed

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? I dont know have you? (Im kidding, I think I have tho)

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on where Im going. Anywhere from 5 mins to like 1.5 hrs lmao. But on average, probably 20 mins

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? I haven’t shaved my legs in the past three years

Where am I right now? My living room

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yes

Am I excited for anything? not really atm

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? if by sex you mean gender then yes

How often do I wear a fake smile? lmao all the fuckin time

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? wow uuhhhhhhh I dont know! maybe Lana Parrilla lmao idk honestly!

What do I think about most? how much i suck lmfao

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? I guess behind, but I dont mind being in front

What was the last lie I told? oh god Im taking care of my little siblings i have no idea

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? depends on the person but usually video chatting

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? no, yes

Do I believe in magic? not really

Do I believe in luck? depends on the day

What’s the weather like right now? warm. It’s almost 80, but its getting dark out so it feels nice.

What was the last book I’ve read? rn Im in the middle of Scythe by Neal Shusterman (bc hes putting my name in the third book in the series!!)

Do I have any nicknames? Tess, T, T-Cake, Tessticle

Do I spend money or save it? SPEND lmao

Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

Favourite animal? hmmm I guess dog

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? lying on the couch on tumblr

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? oh boy idk

What is my favorite word? people have favorite words?

My top 5 blogs on tumblr bruh idk I dont pay attention to anything

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? be fucking decent already

Do I have any relatives in jail? not at the moment that Im aware of

What is my current desktop picture? Thranduil Tauriel and Legolas lol

Had sex? depends on ur definition

Bought condoms? GLOW IN THE DARK

Gotten pregnant? nope

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

Had job? yes

Smoked weed? yes

Smoked cigarettes? no

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

Been overweight? technically I think? But not really

Been underweight? yes

Gotten my heart broken? yes

Been to prom? yes

Been in airplane? well yea but I was 4 so I dont remember it so I dont count it

Learned another language? bruh i tried

Wore make up? yes

Dyed my hair? yes

Had a surgery? yes

Met someone famous? yes

Stalked someone on a social network? who hasnt??

Been fishing? yeah but I dont really remember it

Been rejected by a crush? yes

What do I want for birthday? Idk dude thats so far away

Do I like my handwriting? sometimes

Where do I want to live when older? i have no idea

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? never snuck out but yeah Ive been caught doing “anything bad”

What I’m really bad at everything lmao. Sports I guess

What my greatest achievments are my writing probably

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me one time when I was like 14 my mom and I were arguing and she told me it wouldnt be long before I was selling myself on the streets of new york

What I’d do if I won in a lottery ugh pay off my debt and buy a few of the things i want the most

What do I like about myself hairrr

My closest Tumblr friend like tumblr-only? probably leakedinlondon bc shes the only person ive ever talked to on tumblr lmao

Any question you’d like? what

Are you outgoing or shy? yes

What kind of people are you attracted to? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ femme wlw mostly i guess???

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? no but i wish

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my friend Kate who lives in AZ now :(

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Yeah I just did, nothing yet”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Mitski, “Nobody” Florence + The Machine, “Grace” Hozier, “Wasteland, Baby” Mitski, “Pink in the Night” Mitski, “Strawberry Blond” in no particular order

Do you like it when people play with your hair? YESS

Do you think there is life on other planets? yes

Do you like bubble baths? yes but has tiny tub :(

Do you like your neighbors? i dont really know most of them but the ones I do, yeah for the most part

Where would you like to travel? All over the place, but Cuba more than anything

Favorite part of your daily routine? cuddling w my doogggggg

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? muffin toppp

What do you do when you wake up? try to go back to sleep

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? yes

Do you ever want to get married? idk maybe

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? lmao yea????

Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yea

What are your favorite stores to shop in? theres this little like toy store but it has so many funny or adult things that I love. Its called Play

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone

Do you smile at strangers? usually

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? only in my dreams (like literally, I dont want ppl to know what I did in my dreams)

Ever wished you were someone else? always

Favourite makeup brand? dont have one

Last thing you ate? chicken and pasta

Ever won a competition? For what? yeah, a writing competition

Ever been in love? i dont know

Facebook or Twitter? facebook

Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? no

What colour are your towels? purple

Favourite ice cream flavour? cookies and cream

First person you talked to today? my lil brother Ben

Last person you talked to today? talking to both my lil sibs rn

Name a person you hate? fucking CHRIS

Name a person you love? Rebecca <3 ( @parkour-margaret)

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? chris always

Do you tan a lot? BURNN

Have any pets? FOUR

Do you type fast? relatively yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? OH yeah

Ever broken someone’s heart? idk

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YUP

Is cheating ever okay? it really depends on the situation but 98% of the time no

Do you believe in true love? yeah.  but not just one. everyone can have more than one

What your zodiac sign? aries

Do you believe in ghosts? this question was already asked? no

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “‘Never mind, do not weep,’ answered the frog, ‘I can help you, but”

[clowngore]

thank you for tagging me ?? @fucktional-slytherpuff idk you but wow great Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people. 1. What is your nickname? nizh probably 2. What is your zodiac sign? sagittarius 3. What is your favorite book series? i can't read 4. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? hell ya 5. Who is your favorite author? i can't read 6. What is your current favorite song? tbh the first youtube result for kashmir metal cover because kashmir is the song gwendoline thinks of when she's in character as phasma so it's like, her theme song, but the metal cover fits her more y'know 7. What is your favorite word? fuck 8. What was the last song you listened to? haunted mansion theme song 9. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? game of thrones bc i'm stereotypical 10. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? idfk but airplane and tombstone are always things i'll watch 11. Do you play video games? (sims music playing) (minecraft grass blocks breaking) (star wars lego theme song) yeah i'm a gamer B) 12. What is your biggest fear? being average 13. What is your best quality, in your opinion? every single thing i love myself 14. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my ability to get overwhelmed after being alive for .5 seconds 15. What is your favorite season? autumn? or winter but i just really love halloween 16. Are you in a relationship? nah 17. What is something you miss from your childhood? cali-fucking-fornia 18. Who is your best friend? yumi n izzy n felix are the best friend trio 19. What is your eye color? l ight br o wn ?? ? 20. What is your hair color? rn it's purple but naturally it's dark brown almost black 21. Who is someone you love? the goddess of the universe who saved all of our souls simply by existing, gwendoline christie, 22. Who is someone you trust? the friend trio 23. Who is someone you think about often? ....................gwen 24. Are you currently excited about/for something? death 25. What is your biggest obsession? star wars or game of thrones idk 26. What was your favorite TV show as a child? spongebob hell yea 27. Do you have any unusual phobias? cherophobia 28. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? both 29. What is your favorite hobby? crying 30. What was the last book you read? i can't read 31. What was the last movie you watched? my cousin vinny i think 32. What musical instruments do you play, if any? sort of guitar but i'm shit 33. What is your favorite animal? bears bears bears bears bears 34. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? literally blog that consistently posts abt gwendoline 35. What superpower do you wish you had? shapeshifting 36. When and where do you feel most at peace? in my room, at night, aaaaaaaa and also the haunted mansion and pirates of the caribbean (the disneyland rides) lmao my childhood 37. What makes you smile? gwendoline. captain phasma. brienne of tarth. people complimenting me. cool clothing. me, when i look good. 38. What sports do you play, if any? is suffering a sport 39. What is your favorite drink? i fucking love matcha frappuccino with two shots of espresso 40. Are you afraid of heights? more like "don't push (person) off don't push them off don't push don't push them do not push them off don't do it i swear to god if you push them, which you will not, i will kill you do not push them" 41. What is your biggest pet peeve? gender roles and biases 42. Have you ever been to a concert? (laughs for an uncomfortably long time) (wipes tear) yeah 43. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? an actor or a singer or a president and damn nizh 2/3 44. What fictional world would you like to live in? star wars fuckin duh 45. What is something you worry about? currently school and This Person 46. Are you scared of the dark? nah 47. Do you like to sing? FUCK YEah 48. Have you ever skipped school? refer to 42 49. What is your favorite place on the planet? my room or disneyland 50. Where would you like to live? kerry co ireland or outside of sapporo japan 51. Do you have any pets? ya i got a cat n a dog 52. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl 53. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? i like when the sun is on the opposite side of the world 54. Do you know how to drive? ): 55. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones kill me 56. Have you ever had braces? yeah it's hell 57. What is your favorite genre of music? is rock too vague 58. Who is your hero? i can't answer these questions with anything other than gwendoline dhjsfjkdjs 59. Do you read comic books? i wish i would get around to it 60. What makes you the most angry? refer to 41 61. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? i like real books but i'm so lazy that i'm more likely to read digital 62. What is your favorite subject in school? leaving 63. Do you have any siblings? unfortunately i have two 64. What was the last thing you bought? that implies that i have money to spend (probably clothes) 65. How tall are you? 5'0 or 5'1 idk 66. Can you cook? can i use my brain ever 67. What are three things that you love? gwendoline, my ego, sleeping 68. What are three things that you hate? refer to 42, homophobes/transphobes, overwhelming things 69. What is your sexual orientation? bi???? idk but i love girls and in between and boys are kinda iffy i'm not sure if i like them i don't think so but it's Confusing 70. Where do you currently live? unfortunately the united states of prejudice 71. Who was the last person you texted? yumi 72. When was the last time you cried? idk last night prolly 73. Who is your favorite YouTuber? no one ? 74. Do you like to take selfies? ya way too much but it's justified bc i'm great 75. What is your favorite app? tumblr idk 76. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? it's fine 77. What is your favorite foreign accent? gwen's 78. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? idfk i'm too tired for this 79. What is your favorite number? 13 because i like to be edgy 80. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? space, the ocean is confining 81. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? idk i do what i want to 82. Are you allergic to anything? chocolate. dairy. idk 83. Can you wiggle your ears? i don't think so? 84. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? i'm never wrong 85. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? hhhhhhhhhhhhh idk??????? 86. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? nobody has given me advice but, everything gwen says is rly good and basically what i can say is: do things that you want if they, logically, make sense and are reasonable and don't hurt anyone. rules that are based on nothing and are just rules to be rules don't need to be followed. judge whether people need to be respected, only respect authority that deserves respect. society is wrong most of the time. if people don't like you it's not your problem and they can cry about it, you're still great and just because some ugly loser is wrong about you doesn't mean that you're automatically worse. 87. Are you a good liar? i'm an actor so 88. What is your Hogwarts House? idk 89. Do you talk to yourself? mhm 90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert 91. Do you keep a journal/diary? i don't even keep my thoughts consistently 92. Do you believe in second chances? depends 93. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yeah but i don't wanna be the one to do it 94. Are you ticklish? literally nowhere 95. Have you ever been on a plane? ya a shitload 96. Do you have any piercings? my ears twice but i want more 97. What fictional character do you wish was real? literally take a fuckin guess (phasma) 98. Do you have any tattoos? god i wish 99. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? refer to 86. the decision to not care and to judge things for myself def makes me feel better about myself and the world because the pressures of society need to fuck off 100. Do you believe in karma? sorta 101. Do you wear glasses or contacts? no 102. Do you want children? adopt older (10+) children when i'm older 103. Who is the smartest person you know? lmao me (idk) 104. What is your most embarrassing memory? when i was in kindergarten this girl said her favorite color was either pink or purple and i really aggressively raised my hand pointing 1 finger and said "black!!" and everyone stared at me and my life has never been that bad 105. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? way too many times 106. What color are most of you clothes? black 107. Do you like adventures? idk i don't do shit 108. Have you ever been on TV? god i wish 109. How old are you? no 110. What is your favorite quote? "i became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity" and it's not because of the emo reason you think it actually makes sense if i explain it 111. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? idk 112. Have your friends ever badly disapponted you? side-eyes That Person 113. What is your favorite scent? cold 114. Random fact you know? every penny made before 1982 is actually almost fully copper, and if melted down is worth 2 cents 115. What is your opinion on long distance relationships? hard. just, really hard. not sure if it's worth it 
Tagging: @yumikoflare @one-bad-apple @boxer-pup @erosiian @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell and if anyone else wants to do them you should message me so i know to tag you in the future LOL