#god i should have done this sooner…
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“𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴.”
(pov — you’re rolan)
#i seriously can’t stop watching these#seeing her speak is so surreal#god i should have done this sooner…#i wish i could see her pointy teefs more often omg#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#bg3 oc#tiefling#oc: fèidh#bg3edit#cleric of mielikki
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WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT VERSION CONTROL omg i am losing my mindddddd why do editors have so much trouble with this concept??? if you send someone comments on a document and ask them to revise even though you know more comments on that version are coming, they're going to submit a revision and then you're going to give them comments on THE OLD VERSION THAT DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE WHAT ABOUT THIS MAKES SENSE PEOPLE. i spent half an hour explaining this to someone yesterday and i thought she got it and then today she did something EVEN MORE NONSENSICAL than what she was planning to do originally! o glorb stay my hand i am about to do something unwise!!!
#just don't have them submit a revision until you're done with that version!!! you are creating two alternate timelines here!!!!!#i can't do my job in parallel universes please help a broad out oh my god IT'S NOT HARD!!!!!!#yesterday i was like how about. you send them the comments you have so far. and tell them more comments are on the way.#and then AFTER they've gotten and responded to all the comments you have them submit a new revision?#and she was like yeah that makes sense!#then today she sends them the comments but is like 'revise this and send me the revision outside the system while you're waiting#for the rest of the comments' NO!! BAD EDITOR!!!!! THAT'S WORSE NOW IT'S ALL OUTSIDE OF THE SYSTEM WHAT IS#WRONG WITH YOU!!!!#if you want to get a revision sooner then just tell the other people who are reviewing to hold off & do their review of that future version#i don't understandddddd oh my god i should have just not said anything to her yesterday. this is worse than if i had just#let her do the stupid thing she was originally going to do. now she's gonna do everything outside the system#why though!!!!!!!#my posts
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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lads i think we might be pulling an all nighter for this one 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
#I have way too much I need to do and I did not get enough done on the weekend#Do I have a presentation in my first class tomorrow? Sure do!#I'm sure I'll be fine and I won't sleep through it because I've definitely never slept through this class before#i have two physics assignments to do#and a 3D modeling assignment I need to finish#and I need to finish my sketches#AND figure out what the FUCK I'm gonna do for my other class#bitch this is graphic design class why are we making a physical model.......#I've kind of just resigned myself to getting not great grades in my design class#it's fine because im gonna switch and do engineering and not hate it#I also have other shit I need to do that isn't hmwk but is. Things I should do sooner then later#oh also fn fact the hearing in my left ear has been muffled for the past 3 days#so tomorrow I'm gonna get that checked out yipee#it's probably a buildup of wax but idk how to get rid of that#last time I tried dropping warm water in my ear when it was muffled it made it Worse soooooo#lilac post#god I wish caffeine worked on me. wouldn't that be nice#I've literally just been having oc and toh brainrot#i can't get these damn blorbos off mine mind...
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김준서 (KIM JUN SEO)
1st Mini Album
[ECHOES of love]
2022.11.20 6PM (KST)
#kim junseo#wei#ouiai#DEAR GOD it's 10AM as i draft we have 6 hours to go until i post but oh my god im finally done i thought id never finish dear GOD#this is far from the best thing ive ever done. but it was an interesting experience#nd definitely took some time (not the most tho . nothing can beat paula's birthday set when it comes to that) but also .... surprisingly#less than i thought ? like longer but also shorter .? u know ?#this made me go insane i kept forgetting about my food and i also kept working in silence half of the time bc i would forget to put smth on#eri if i decide to do a second one next year PLEASE tell me to start sooner like if i start brainstorming into ur ear in like may pls accept#i say 'if' as if i wasnt already working on song choices for next year lmao#i was really excited for this and i think that made me not rlly think as much as i should have i think i can do better next year . if i star#if i start early enough#ANYWAYS#happy junseo birth <3 my prince <3 or smth idk#pls dont perceive the mcd thumbnail from up close i beg u#boy who's so important . . a boy so fox . . . nation's model (2) pretty boy with pretty voice . . whatever im not gonna start rambling more#but he's very important n i hope he knows that he is & that he's so very loved & i hope that he's happy today and always . etc#nd i love him or whatever . whatever whatever no one look everyone close your eyes#*mine#special thanks to eri as always my bewoved who has been hearing me talk about this for the past like month thank u for putting up with me#(re:this and also in general i love u)
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Okay, actually started watching Peaky Blinders, late as always
Absolutely binging it, the series is fucking fire 🔥
#peaky blinders#thank god the vr headset came with the game for free#good motivation to finally watch the series and boy I should have done so sooner xD
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i cleaned my apartment up some but now I have to do the dishes?? Because I need to prepare food for cooking?? Why can't sink just be empty
#*jaybirb squawks*#There's always Another Thing!!!#This isn't a bad things post but like God I should have done this stuff sooner lol
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#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i#shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and#i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but#like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure.#whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i#should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh.#i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i#do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18#days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno#how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do#something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do#i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its#like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be#miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do?#try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can#tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends?#id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st#roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can#never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated#unrelated
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so at what point am i meant to be brave and ask the ap about whether i'm writing reports this term or not??
#im gonna guess yes im writing them and yes i should ask sooner or later#ive never done a report before im a wee babby lost in the woods on thissssss#god my to do list is SKY HIGH and i do Not have the social skills to knock all these off#it just feels constantly like i need to go talk to a person about stuff and im so sick of having to go talk to a person!!!!#what i need is printing & student info access AND to have all required teaching knowledge in my brain#but i'd settle for just the first bit there tbh#my post tag
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I don’t know why my brain is so bad at processing my own allergies but boy!!!!!!
#I haven’t done it in a while#but in my 20s I gaslit myself into believing I had made up my garlic allergy#at least once a year#I tried contacts again Saturday#and my left eye has been fucked up ever since#and I’ve been trying to flush out a possible infection#only to realize WEDNESDAY that I’m actually probably experiencing#an allergy to tbe contact lens solution#that I have been using to try and solve the problem#which I should have realized sooner since the last time I had contacts#using saline only solution as the fluid I kept them in after cleaning#made the contacts bug my eyes less#I’m… so dumb oh my god#also my eye stings :(
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*slides this across the table* ....my card
#artfight#oc#original character#this is gonna be my first year participating!#most of the characters on my page are complete!#with the exception of Parker (who needs an updated icon)#and ray (who needs refs of both his civilian and hero forms)#thank god i had a lot of this work already done#luckily i had the forsight to make refs for each of these before this point. besides ray#i really should have drawn his ref sooner#since ive had his design down for a while... i guess i was too busy making refs for my other ocs at the time#well. hindsight is 2020 and all that. at least i only have 2 refs to finish before July.#maybe ill post one big ref masterpost#but ill do that when ray is done
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#no i actually genuinely do not wsnt to fucking be alive anymore#mum comes home and immediately only sees the things i haven't done and starts screaming and sobbing about it as if the place is a sty#when all that's fucking wrong is a cat threw up in her room and i haven't loaded the dishwasher yet#and she screamed at me to fuck off when i tried to clean for her#then there's the fact i'm completely isolated and reliant on her for everything#i can't get any work to afford moving#and then just. everything else.#now she's on the phone to my sister blatantly lying about it all to paint me in the worst fucking light possible#no actually why the fuck should i put up with any of this#i have no fucki g future#everything around me right now is hell#just. why should i fucking stay alive#i dont see a reason#i haven't for fucking *years* but i've just been such a fucking coward that i've gone numb to everything instead of making an out sooner#every good thing i've had i've fucking ruined myself#i've done nothing but hurt everyone i care about i just shouldn't fucking be alive#god fucking knows everyone would.be happier
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#so my grandma died#its ok bc shes been sorta fading for a while we knew it was coming sooner rather than later#the aide said she was talking to my grandpa last night and hes been dead since 2014#and its nice to think that he came to come pick her up#funerals are always weird bc were not a very dramtically emotional family so its a lot of talking about the details#what hymns she wanted where the repasse should be what food theyll be serving what were all wearing#and its funny bc my grandma was a penultimately particular woman who wrote down precisely what she wanted done#down to the shoes she wants to be buried in as if anyone is going to see her feet#but GOD forbid she walks through the pearly gates BAREFOOT she could never#she died in the middle of the night and my dad joked that she probably did that so it wouldnt be a big scene in the middle of the day#when they came to take her body from the house#and on one hand like dad that is your MOTHER#but also objectively hes probs not wrong she would have hated a big scene in the middle of the day with neighbors watching#and i gotta request time off work and im asking my managers how i submit the request and i dont wanna say SORRY bc like its my dead grandma#but also ya i was supposed to be training a new girl this week at work 🙃#like obviously were all really sad but theres so much to get done that you end up discussing all the details#shes def in a better place like i do believe shes with my grandpa again and she went peacefully and thats very much a blessing#but i have no idea what im gonna wear to this thing#and that feels like a dumb thing to fixate on! but alas#here we are
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A code status is what you want the hospital to do if your heart or breathing stops, and we've got two basic options: full code which means we do EVERYTHING and Do Not Resuscitate or DNR which means we do less than everything. There's like little add-ons like intubated or not intubated, or blood products or no blood products, but that's basic gist of it. Do you want us to try everything we can to save your life or if your heart stops, is that it? And then we take that information and put it in your chart and make it very prominent in case we need to find it quickly in an emergency. Jane Doe, 72 years old, DNR. John Whatsisname, 49 years old, full code. Like that.
Anyway I'd like to propose a third code status that we'll call "DNR!!!" This is when you not only don't want heroic measures to extend your life, you are so excited to die. I thought of this recently when getting report on a patient, and the day nurse talking to me was like, "Alice Smith, 80 years old, DNR and she will tell you that herself." And I was like, "I don't think code status is gonna come up organically," and the nurse was like, "It won't, but she'll tell you anyway." And then I introduced myself to the patient, and like three minutes in as we're talking about pain meds, she goes, "and by the way, when I'm dead, I'm DEAD. Don't be bringing me back! Every woman in my family has lived past 90, and I'm here to break that tradition! NO one needs to live that long, and I certainly don't, and frankly it's indecent for me to have made it this far. God willing the reaper will come for me any day now. I would never take actions to make him come sooner, but I'm not moving that fast and he is DAWDLING. Disgusting. No work ethic these days. And don't bother with a grave, just chuck me out the window and let the birds at me."
And I'm like "so is that a no to the tylenol"
And she was like "oh no, I'd love some tylenol and a warm blanket too. Now look at me. I've done everything I could possibly want to do in this world and quite a few things I didn't want to do, and personally I don't think I should have to keep doing things. I'd also love a cranberry juice."
Anyway. DNR!! I'm sorry to say she made it through the night completely unscathed.
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I had the most stressful 30 minutes of my life today while playing oni ohhhh my god remind me to never underprepare for a rocket trip again
#rat rambles#oni posting#I finally decided to make the trip to grab a gassy moo and I both forgot to remove someone from the crew And didn't bring enough oxylite#by the time I had arrived I was already just about out and knew the atmo suits I had laying around would only have enough to speedrun#grabbing all the shit I needed and dipping and this was about a three cycle flight from my nearest rocket port#I was able to stretch the suits and remaining tiny bit of oxylite I snagged from a newly built mini pod for about one cycle#but after that desperate times called for desperate medures#....so yknow how poluted water offgasses polluted oxygen?#yeah. yeah.#so hey they may have spent 20 minutes straight gasping for their lives but at least their moral was doing absolutely lovely the whole time#and they survived! thank fucking god!#bro the dupe that I forgot to kick off the crew was one of my og 3 I would have been Devastated#I had originally planned on bringing her because shes a rancher but then I remembered my pilot is interested in ranching#I didnt realize I had forgotten to boot my poor poor lindsay until the ship was literally right abt to launch and I saw her scrambling up#a latter and jump in Just in time and it immediately launched#I by all means should have just landed the ship back down immediately to kick her off but she was sticker bombing and I felt bad#but no yeah I fucked up so bad if I didnt go all out with the decor in the rocket to keep high moral things would have been even worse#from now on if I do not genuinely Need a dupe on a space trip theyre staying home lol#it was so jarring finally watching them get back home and seeing the rest of the main colony all just living their perfect lil lives#I finally got the new oxygen production system done in my main colony and its been working wonders I Really should have done this sooner#and my second colony's is almost done but I am getting a bit worried that it won't work#I really Should put automation in I know itll make my life easier in the long run but also automation is annoyinggggg#I mean hey I dealt with the hydrogen flooding in both bases so I have successfully stalled for time again#and worst comes to worst I cant just replicate my main base's oxygen system to my second one#I just would like for it to double as a steam generator since thatd make other parts of my life easier#I Do have two cool steam vents on that planet but theyre y'know. cool steam. aka rly hard to transport steam.#like hell Im currently using them as my main water source and Im not even doing anything fancy to tame them#even with insulated vents I know that itll probably still cool down too much especially with how far away its need to go#so just generating steam closer to my steam engine is probably the better bet#and you just know Im going to use this rocket like once I dont even know whos gonna pilot it
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gonna unfollow all my topics on twitter when i get back except for cats and Buny so i can choose peace and no longer think about how much fandoms hate women!!! i'm choosing growth and healing!!!
#me: text#i'm no longer getting on my soapboxes to explain how racist and misogynistic y'all are in your echo chambers#bc you know and choose to not care so i am going to just be militant about not letting fujoshis in my inner circle#no more looking for art of my favorite characters and pairings anymore i'm just gonna go :) at what's in front of me#even if that means no more dehya and yukong bc god knows nobody gaf about them#the reality is i would've done this sooner but the voice in the back of my head told me that if i did#i'd be admitting that it's not a real thing and that people just Happen to have tastes that fully align with stories about light-skinned me#or i'd have to shame myself for caring about it bc so many people shame me for caring about it#but i don't!#i know i'm right and that should be enough for now i just have to enjoy what i can
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