#god i really got emotional over this
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Scary Sunset.
I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art#deep down sunset hates thea. she was named âtwilightâ by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement#but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the âdon't make me do thisâ language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way#when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too#fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory#and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her#anyways toxic yuri yayyy#my art#the grand galloping 20s#character design#i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days#i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and âoh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey meâ while trying to intimidate#is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey
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The Storm of Vengeance Which Consumes
Yeah. It's that scene. The swiss cheese scene. The Sushseidon scene. But it's Poseidon POV with a lot of internal emotions. This was written as part of a personal series I'm working on where one of my OCs is looking into Poseidon's history and experiences this memory.
A lot of this was inspired by the various fanarts/animatics I've seen. Such as Gwendy's use of Hermes' sandals, HAH Studios' Get In The Water (specifically Ody's hand on Horseidon's nose), sloansloan's Ody pulling Poseion's hair. So if you're reading something and are like "hmm, this seems familiar" it was probably inspired by something. The discorporation is part of the lore in my series.
Enjoy!
Words: 2300 Warnings: Torture (obviously), graphic descriptions of violence, uhh. Yeah. It's that scene, soooo Characters: Odysseus and Poseidon (with various others mentioned/referenced)
Anger consumes his heart, his mind sharp and clear on the currents of vengeance. The mortal escaped him once. But not this time. His shadow consumes the single man on a raft, his towering figure of water imposing an air of terror. At long last, it will be over. At long last, he will have his revenge.Â
âWeâre both hurting from loss. Why not leave this here and just go home?â the mortal offers, pain in his features as he pleads.Â
The words make the god hesitate. The anger that has carved a home in his heart leaves his chest aching. The minuscule hope that he could let this pain go, that he could be free from it; it tempts him. Could it really be that simple? And yetâ âI canât,â the near broken voice of Poseidon leaves his mouth.Â
The mortal dares to raise a hand in offering. A soft gesture.Â
And despite himself, the god leans down towards it, ready to receive it. Heâs desperate for the relief from the storm, desperate for it to finally be over with.
âMaybe you could learn to forgive,â the mortal offers a gentle smile.Â
He stops short, his face a mere few feet from the mortal. What is he doing? Is he, the King of the Seas, swayed by a few silver words and a decade of chase? Is his resolve so fragile? His eyes sharpen. âNo.â He pulls back, his form cracking and growing as more water rushes up to join his form.Â
The seas grow rougher, almost becoming like solid glass pillars. The wind swirls around harder, creating tornadoes of water.
âRuthlessness is mercy upon ourselves,â he declares his mantra once again as he raises his trident, spinning it before plunging it into the water. âDie!â
The water shatters into thousands of rugged pieces. The raft on top of it falls into the depths.Â
He watches the mortal that has evaded and outsmarted him at every turn finally sink beneath his power, finally drowning under his wrath. A sharp sense of satisfaction stabs at his heart, adding to the burden of vengeance he carries. But he counts it as worth it. Because he finally did it. His mission is complete. His anger is satiated.Â
At least it should be. Why does it feel like heâs not done? He killed the man. He enacted justice. For his sonâs pain and his own pride. Why does he not feel satisfied?
The wind continues to whip around, stringing out his long wet hair. The storm rages on. Both outside and within. At long last, he turns to leave.
âPoseidon!â a voice screams in anger behind him.
He turns, his eyes widening.Â
The mortal floats high in the air, windbag in hand and Hermesâ winged sandals on his feet.
Fury fills the god as the mortal has once again escaped his demise. He bares his teeth and turns fully around. He barely gets to raise his trident before he feels himself being pummeled.Â
Though the mortalâs weapon canât break his skin, the speed at which each blow is delivered leaves him dazed. Like six hundred men are beating his body. Like the souls of the mortalâs lost crew have come back for revenge of their own. Water is knocked from his form in showers of droplets from every strike. His eyes try to track the mortal, but heâs nothing more than a blur in the air.
In the span of a mere few seconds, his form has been beaten down to its smallest height. His concentration has been shattered, his vision spinning as he falls from the sky, landing on a rocky outcropping.
The first thing he notices when he opens his eyes is the storm of his design raging around them. The second is the mortal standing at the rockâs edge, looking out at the consequences of his actions. A twisted sense of irony and victory worm their way into his heart despite his aching body working to heal itself from the borderline magical onslaught.Â
And he laughs.Â
âYou idiot,â he spits at the mortal, pushing himself up by the rock behind himself. âCanât you see? You sealed your fate just to beat me!â he continues laughing. The pitiful thing about mortals. For how clever they think they are, their hubris will always be their doom. âYou really thought you could control my storm? That it would bow to your whims, King of Ithaca? You will never get back! And it is all by your own hands. Just like the lost lives of your crew.â
The mortalâs head slowly turns towards the god drunk on power. âYouâre going to call off that storm,â he growls as he stalks towards him.
A scoff leaves the god. âOr what? You canât kill me.â
The mortal bends down towards the golden trident laying between them. âExactly.â He picks it up.
The trident shines in the hands of the descendant of Hermes.
The godâs eyes narrow in confusion at the statement. But as he looks at the prongs coming closer to him, then the mortalâs no longer human eyes, a new sensation fills him. One he hasnât felt in centuries. The predatory steps unlock something almost human within him.
Terror.
âWait.â The god starts trying to get up. âWait!â
But he isnât fast enough. In his arrogance, he let the mortal breach his weakness. In his own hubris, his own haughtiness over his immortality, he forgot the warning of Prometheusâ fate. Immortality can be a curse.
The metal embeds itself in his chest, pinning him to the rock. For the first time in eons, the cosmos hears him scream. For the first time since Titanchomy, he feels real pain. The sting of a death he cannot have, the tearing of flesh, the warmth of ichor seeping out of his wounds like currents withdrawing from oceanside caves at low tide.
And when the barbed ends are withdrawn, it pulls his body with it until a foot on his stomach stops him. He gasps as the metal is freed, but the reliefâ if he can even call it thatâ doesnât last long. He sees the next blow coming and raises his hand to stop it.Â
But the mortal sees this and aims directly for the shoulder.
His arm goes numb, limply falling to the side as he cries out again.
âHow does it feel to be helpless? How does it feel to know pain?â the mortal mocks as he dislodges the weapon with a struggle, the barbs getting stuck again and pulling more flesh with them.
His ears burn at the humiliation, his chest tight as he breathes laboredly. His mind is assaulted with the sting of pain, an overwhelming force like none heâs ever experienced before. No one dares to strike the King of the Seas, especially not in a truly hazardous way. No one⊠except Nobody.
The next stab plunges into his stomach, slicing through muscle and intestines. His own howls join the chorus of wind and thunder.
It is no doubt music to the mortalâs ears as he continues to lay out the godâs sins against him, as he continues to enact his justice.
The god slides further and further down the rock, his eyes and markings glowing as his body desperately tries to heal itself. Heâs never been discorporated before. Heâs never had his physical form stripped away from him. Heâs never experienced the shame of being trapped in his own domain from his failures. But as his body is torn to shreds by the overzealous mortal, he fears for the first time that this may actually be it. This may be the first time he experiences as close to death as gods get.
His power is split between trying to heal himself and trying to start a counter attack. An earthquake, a tidal wave, anything.Â
But the mortal, once champion of the Goddess of Wisdom, accounted for that too. And he strikes where he knows it will hurt. The soft flesh of the abdomen, the already broken ribs and pierced lung, the knee, the other shoulder. Every blow breaks the godâs concentration, keeping him trapped against the rock. âLook what youâve turned me into!â
The god canât help but comply, staring up at the monster of a man he made. A mortal pushed too far, a man immeasurably beyond his breaking point. Itâs almost in slow motion as the godâs gaze fixates on a droplet of rain washing his ichor off the mortalâs face. He can only breathe laboriously, unable to attempt to stop the trident from sinking into his collarbone.
The mortal grabs his hair, pulling the godâs head back to look at him. âLook what weâve become.âÂ
His eyes sting, his throat raw from his screams. Heâs lost the strength to even try to turn his face away, to fight back for control of his head. The warm vengeance that kept him on the shores of Ithaca for ten years has been transferred into the mortal, leaving the god cold and broken.Â
Like a forest that has been consumed by wildfire, leaving fragile dead trees in its place. Like a hurricane that levels towns, like tidal waves that wash everything that was once held dear out to sea. The god has lost everything. A new monster was birthed from his storm of vengeance.Â
And even when he thought he finished it, even when he got what he wanted, it didnât feel like enough. He was left disappointed, unsatisfied. Killing the mortal didnât end the storm. His revenge has consumed them both, eating them alive as the godâs father had once devoured him.
Up until now he thought Zeus stripping him of his divinity and enslaving him to a mortal king was the worst blow his pride could be dealt. But another mortal king is proving him wrong.
The mortal throws the godâs head backwards into the rock, twisting the trident as he pulls it out.
The god gasps, clutching his stomach. This has to end. He has to make it stop. Before he fully experiences defeat. Before he takes on more shame. âEnough,â he orders.
But who is the king to stop? Who is wielding the trident? And so the mortal continues his assault, reopening half-healed wounds in the godâs shoulder.
The god squeezes his eyes shut, a long groan of agony leaving him, âStooop!â He feels sick as his voice dips further and further into desperation, pleading with the mortal, begging of all things. He cries out louder, as if the mortal couldnât hear him the first time over his ranting.
But no. The mortal did hear him. The begs were clear as day. And they were ignored. âYou didnât stop when I begged you!â The tridentâs aim is true, an extension of the mortalâs emotions, plunging into the godâs throat and left eye at the same time.
The godâs body locks up, convulsing. His whole head is engulfed in pain, the sharp point that penetrated his eye having sunken into his skull. His remaining eye widens as what would have been his loudest scream is silenced by the prong piercing his vocal cords. The sweet metallic taste fills his mouth and drips off his lips.Â
The scene goes black. For a moment, he feels himself slipping away. No. He canât give the mortal that satisfaction. He canât let him win. Even if he already has. He barely hears the distant words of the mortal, though is mouth is slowly moving, âYouâŠâ
âYou told me to close my heart! You said the world was dark!â The mortal makes an upwards strike with the trident, lifting the godâs body off the ground a bit to glare at him.
The god weakly glares back with one blue eye flickering in its glow. âMonster!â he cries out, hoping that will break the man, hoping that will end this torment.
But instead, it just seems to fuel the monster in the man as he rips the trident out. His response to the accusation comes in the words the god was so fond of as he raises the trident, unknowing how close he is to finishing the job, âDidnât you say that ruthlessness is mercy upon ourââ
And the godâs resolve shatters. His own words being used against him are almost more painful than his own weapon. âAlright!â he cries out.
The mortal hesitates, trident raised overhead.
The god forces his remaining eye open, though his sight of the mortal is obscured by rain and blood. âPlease,â he rasps, brought to his lowest of lows. Subjected to begging for mercy from a mere mortal.
The mortal grips the trident tighter before dropping it with a clang.
The wind and waves die down as the godâs vision flickers. His head slumps forward as the scene turns dark. He barely feels his body hit the cold rocks. Every muscle pulses in pain. He doesnât know when the mortal flew off on Hermesâ sandals. He doesnât know how long he laid there trying to heal. Perhaps Apollo would be gracious enough to tend to him. But as time goes on, no one shows. Heâs left alone on the tiny island, laying in his own ichor. Olympus has shunned him, probably mocking him.
The god finally begins to move, though immediately crying out as a sharp pain flares in his chest, a crack sounding like something broke. He lays back down, but the pain doesnât lessen. His head gets lighter and lighter. His body gets weaker. It feels like fluid fills his lungs. Which shouldnât be a problem, he can breathe underwater. But apparently he canât breathe ichor.
Thereâs no storms for months. The tides are the calmest anyone has ever seen. Not a single earthquake is recorded anywhere. For the God of the Sea was nowhere to be found in the mortal world.
#epic the musical#epic the musical fanfic#epic poseidon#epic odysseus#i finally got the fanfic itch out#there will probably be more oneshots at some point#but i really wanted to do poseidon pov for this scene#i wanted to get in his brain#and given the context is another god is experiencing what poseidon experienced#there's a heavy emphasis on internal emotion over external action#hence why odysseus and poseidon are referred to as everything but their names#its a stylistic choice i use when writing scenes that are supposed to be more about the reader seeing through a character's eyes#rather than them just watching two characters on a screen#while still keeping to third person cause i like the omnipotence of it
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hello... please consider... yakumo in:
the classic traditional style qipaos
the modernised and modified ones
bonus: modified hanfu
he would look wonderful wouldn't he? all the more delectable and sashimiable?
ahaha...ahah...AHAHHAH.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
#feesh answer#the more i scrolled the more manic laughter leaked out of my face. exolkoiddeploded really#i had no images to accurately convey my emotion. so i had to make one#BEHOLD! MY PHOTO COLLAGE SKILLS!!!!!!đ€Ł#did you really just have yakumo-coloured outfits ready and waiting somewhere in your storage??!#your curation feels like a personal attack even tho i know you just out here doin things for You#me normally: i want the most obnoxious ridiculous over the top colour combo and clashing finalfantasia10000belts mess----#me now: ok but there's something about that 3rd modern one. it's. so simple. but. i. but i......#i need him to be cute and helpful in the traditional ones. i want him walking around in the garden just sniffing pretty flowers#wait no i want him in one of th emodified ones just absolutely DESTROYING eiden's ---#waiT no I want him IN THE FLOWING ETERNALGARMENTS WITH HIS GLOWY EYES AND SOBBING POSSESSED DEMEANOUR BUT NOT ACTUALLY POSSESSED#so just glowing and crying. got it#WAIT NO-#god it's like all the things i used to be meh about or go 'what kinda character design is this'#now i'll see it on yaku and it's.....well......#those maiden buns? the lil twin baobao or whatever? hated thsoe things forever and always#then someone will put em on yakumo and suddenly everything is fine#WHAT IS HE DOING WITH THE LIL. ORBS ON HIS HEAD. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYONE WHO WEARS THEM.#ONLY LITTLE GIRLIES. IS IT INAPPROPRIATE TO GIVE YAKU THE BUNS#BUT I. IF HE DOESN'T WEAR HIS HAIR LIKE THAT.#i will straihjtt up put steamed buns on his head#and force him to stay still and balance them#until i finish eating them all#it's a game of pile bread on the snake#i will require a stepladder#nu carnival yakumo
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i love having a snzfucker girlfriend so much she makes me feel so attractive and special in moments that iâve normally been made to feel gross and embarrassed and small, like i should be ashamed of things i canât control.
not only does she treat me with kindness and patience when iâm having a horrible allergy attack and can do nothing but sniffle and sneeze, she makes me feel pretty and worth loving and even sexy and itâs so special and iâm never going to get used to it
#idk iâm just soft#our first night together i was falling asleep while still having a fit#and i had been stifling but i started drifting off and before i realized what was happening i had sneezed fully and really harshly#directly into the palm of her hand (which she had cupped and ready in front of my mouth and nose the second i started hitching)#god it was so embarrassing and i immediately sprang up and apologized over and over#but she just cooed and shushed me and told me that i had nothing to be sorry or embarrassed about#and got me back to sleep#and then the next day when i apologized about it again#because it really was like#a very spray-y sneeze directly into her hand#she told me how much it turned her on and how adorable she thought it was#sorry iâm so soft and a little tipsy and decently sick so#i sm feeling very emotional and i just have so much to say about my gf#god
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
Youâre not the son I raised
#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like âtell me did you raise a man?â#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like âi just want you to know im so so...â#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend đ
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how did u learn to paint?? like i just cant wrap my head around it
<3 I love answering asks like this!
You will have to bare with me, I don't save many of my studies, and my files aren't that organized so I don't have as many images as I would like.
The studies I've found most helpful for myself personally with painting are various master studies. (This is also, as always, alongside study of fundamentals.) And always follow a study with self-critique (and, if you can get it, outside critique!)
"Master" in this sense means anyone who you want to learn something from.
One way you can do this is by copying an artist's work directly. This is to try and understand some of their stylistic techniques. Leyendecker, Andrew Loomis, and John Singer Sargent are personal favorites of mine! I try to keep these quick, I'm not trying to get an exact copy.
I also get a lot out of copying photos. In this case, I'm not trying to glean some technique, rather, I'm trying to interpret the photo and explore my own stylizations.
(photo credit mountain men of alaska )
I also really enjoy taking a painting or piece that already exists, and making it "mine" by putting my characters in it haha, which is sort of a combination of master studies and photo studies!
(William Bruce Ellis - Covent Garden (1930)) (Barberini Faun)
And then, in my work that's not a study at all, I'm informed by all of these!
What master studies do is help me refine my style and practice my technique, but also I'm communicating with artists of the past through my art! They're teaching me! And I have so much to learn.
And of course... most importantly... I paint.
a lot.
I don't do as much study anymore, not because I feel I've learned all I need to, but because for work I draw 50+ drawings a week. 'Drawing for work' and 'study' occupy the same space in my brain and I need some fun drawing time!
So to sum up, draw a lot, reference constantly, and copy the people you want to draw more like!
(and, of course, when doing a study off of someone else's work, always give them credit. If it's your photos there's no need.)
#I really tried to pare this one down cause it got LONG#as always I am more than happy to delve deeper into any of these particular points!#I'm always always always happy to explain as much of my process as possible#and I'd love to pass off some of my knowledge to others!#I love to see people creating art and want to do anything I can to help empower people to do so more#I love you mwa mwa mwa#asks#edsheerankinnie#art tips#painting tips#I pretty much wear my influences on my sleeve#like I don't care#I honestly get so so so excited about art I'm like shaking a little#like oh my god#we get to MAKE Things#we get to sit down and through the power of our own hands we get to CREATE#and I get to access the knowledge of humanity. throughout history#I get to reach my hand out and have people who are long gone pass their knowledge on to me.#like come on. that's unreal...#at some point you will unlock this feeling if you let yourself#the feeling of connection over centuries#when you hear michelangelo was so shocked by the lifelike nature of his own sculpture he threw his chisel at it to see if it would move#when you see rockwell's love for simple moments between normal people#when you see cave paintings of a woman and you know she was loved.#you get to fucking connect#and feel human#and it's really special#and it's why I think everyone should draw. everyone should draw a LITTLE#music too#augh I'm emotional
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Into a new day, together
@naffeclipse I cannot begin to tell you how emotional I am over the CS ending - their happiness and chance at healing mean so much to me ;v;
And a small, very rough bonus that I see happening between the first two panels - someone giving Nessie that last little push to accept the affection she feels too guilty to indulge in <3
#post let luce#dcamv#cryptid sightings#cryptid sightings spoilers#naffeclipse#my art#god I am so normal you guys#so so normal#will I ever acknowledge the actual season CS plays in or will I just continue drawing evergreens?#evergreens#because theyre fun#also in my defense mentally I was still near the desert#and I don't know the americas so I was like âif near desert = warmer?? so more green??â lmao#it really has been 9 months huh#I'm so glad I got out of the woodwork to be an active participant in this journey#it was an honor to make silly theories and draw my comics for it <3#not that ill stop yknow just bc its over#i mean therell be the spinoffs n stuff too#but yeah#emotional gfhdj#thank you naff for sharing your beautiful brain with us <3
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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Dazai truly has become Oda in every way imaginable now. :â ) the final words he gives to Sigma are the exact same words Oda gives to Dazai in the original scene Asagiri wrote for the end of the Dark Era stage play, ćŸăŻé Œăă ă, âI will leave the rest to you.â
And I really love the progression of the way his eyes look in this chapter, and how Sigma is allowed to have this moment of questioning and rebelling against all the faith Dazai had naturally been leading him to place in him up to this point, which is what I hoped would happen. Heâs been confused ever since Dazai first chose him, and everything heâs ever known about how everyone sees/treats him turned upside down by Dazaiâs words and actions, and just when heâs finally started to feel like heâs found some hope and lowered his guard, Dazai pulls him back underwater, instantly reinforcing all of Sigmaâs trust issues and reinforcing that he should never believe in anyone, because (he thinks) everyone lives to manipulate other people. Dazaiâs dark eyes here reinforce that, too, and the other panels around this point where they look white and hollow and demonic, all like Fyodorâs. He appears like an evil, looming force pulling him back under, trying to kill him, when Sigma is so close to the freedom of the air he desperately wants (aka free from pain, which is what heâs been seeking his whole life).
But then Dazai makes this face, and the first one I posted above, and Sigma understands, even without words, that Dazai doesnât have evil intent: on the contrary, he actually is bound and determined to save his life -- and the light in his eyes comes out through this determination and kindness, arguably the most light weâve ever seen his eyes have in the entire manga (in the âI leave the rest to youâ panel too). The âNoâ could be Dazai wordlessly telling him to not leave the water, but my first assumption was that it was Sigma telling himself no, stopping his own train of thought about Dazai being the same as Fyodor and someone he shouldnât have trusted -- he soon realizes why Dazai stopped him, and that heâs still going to try to save him, that he wasnât wrong about him, and itâs all because Dazaiâs earnest expressions get through to him.
And itâs just so heartwarming to see how far Dazai has come. :â ) He tried so hard to save Sigma (doing the most physical action weâve ever seen him do, really), did his best to be reassuring and comforting to him afterwards, and then reaffirmed his promise to ensure he escaped Meursault alive, his final words to Sigma echoing Odaâs and his last action being to save an orphan, just like Oda did in his last moments. Obviously Dazai isnât actually going to die, heâll be saved somehow, but I do think as of right now he really does think this is the end for him, and that he didnât foresee the elevator dropping -- he was examining the wires a few chapters ago because he thought he might need to know how to open the doors in case Fyodor pulled an uno reverse, hence why he looks more annoyed than shocked when the water starts, but here, when the drop collision sequence is initiated, he looks genuinely shook in comparison. Thereâd be no reason for him to give the thumbs up if he knew more danger was on the way, either; thatâd just be cruel. No, I donât think he saw this coming, and itâs important that that turns out to be the case: itâs important that he spent what he believes to have been his last moments saving someone like Oda wanted for him, and doing what Oda would have done in the same situation. That doesnât mean that itâs okay that Dazai throws his life away so easily, and cares so little for his own safety; he still has a long way to go in that regard. But itâs still so beautiful to see how much heâs changed, and how much heâs truly begun to embody Oda and his legacy; the fact that he messed up and miscalculated, because Dazai isnât infallible, but in turn didnât hesitate to use his last moments to save Sigma. Oda would be so proud for everything he did here. :â ) đ
There are a lot of options for how Dazai will be saved, and by who, but personally I hope (and I kind of expect) that Sigma chooses to not give up on him and ultimately plays a role in saving his life, to return the favor and repay him for his kindness. Not only would it be a beautiful way to initiate Sigmaâs ADA entrance exam as people have said, but it would bring the Dazai > Atsushi > Sigma chain full circle: Dazai saved Atsushi at the start of the series, allowing him to (spiritually) save Sigma at sky casino thanks to the growth fostered in him by Dazai, and now finally, Sigma could potentially save Dazai thanks to Atsushi kickstarting his own growth (and Dazai continuing it). Fyodor is overly cocky right now and so tunnel-visioned on killing Dazai, itâs possible that he has no idea that Sigma managed to escape the elevator and is now a wild card; even if Sigma doesnât go as far as killing Fyodor himself (which I donât want, tbh; thatâs endgame stuff arcs down the line and imo Nikolai and Dazai should be the ones involved with that), he could throw a wrench in the jailbreak duel, and help Dazai and Chuuya get out alive. It would be poetic, and only fitting, for Fyodor to underestimate and be outdone by the kind of person Dazai told him is the strongest in chapter 77 -- a self-proclaimed âordinary manâ -- who could only have the strength to take such action thanks to the chain of kindness that Oda originally started. đ
#bungou stray dogs#bsd 106.5#meta#this chapter was literally everything i could have wanted i am SO EMOTIONAL#I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT#ASAGIRI GIVING ME LITERALLY EVERYTHING I EVER COULD HAVE WANTED#DAZAI HAS GROWN SOOOO MUCH HE'S BECOME SO MUCH LIKE ODA I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD đđđđđđ#as soon as i saw that big panel of his face i was like........ he looks like oda......... ASAGIRI I SEE YOUUUUUU#AND THE FINAL WORDS#I SEE YOUUUUUUUUUU#ISTG IF DAZAI THINKS ABOUT ODA WHEN HE THINKS HE'S GONNA DIE BEFORE HE GETS SAVED I WILL SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST#ASAGIRI PLEASE THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY I WILL CRYYYYYYY đđ„șđ„čđ#Dazai was so much like Oda here and Sigma looked just like Atsushi in that one panel DONT TOUCH MEEEE#THIS WHOLE CHAPTER WAS SO PERFECT#I NEED SIGMA TO SAVE HIM NOW#the longest chapter we've gotten in AGES and it was a banger god bless#tbh i really needed this after season 4 lmao i needed a reminder of why i love this series so much :''''') something to soothe my rage#asagiri saw my bitterness at anime sigma and was like 'here u go babe i got your sigma and dazai and oda feast'#probably means next month will be short again and a pov change lmao đ„Čđ#gonna enjoy this while it lasts#anyway i was really happy to see that moment of Sigma getting mad even if it didn't last long (and for a beautiful reason)#because he Deserved that#(because that's what i wrote in my fic and i feel vindicated now even if that wasn't the main focus of this chapter looool oops-)
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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yeah sure that's how i'll [re]come out
#zymart#zymtalk#rant in the tags ->#okay listen to me this is really important and also i have a witness. this was not intentionally supposed to be posted on june 1st#the stars just aligned for this to be at its funniest. which means its also easier for me to dismiss LOL#i drew this like a week ago after trying to draw a whole like. 5 page comic about it and then stopping it mid-board#bc it was horrifying imagining being perceived that much. so i needed to make it into a joke instead and this was the funniest route#and then i was like 'UGH. UGH!!!! i can not be 20 and deal with this like im 13. if i dont post it by the end of the week#then [the witness to all my rants on this topic. shoutout to twig bc they got the most of it] can joke abt it as if i did anyway'#and now its the end of the week and i looked at the date and went 'oh my god didnt may just start what happened'#'WAIT ITS JUNE FIRST. GOD. THATS TOO FUNNY TO NOT SAY SOMETHING' and who am i if i dont prioritize the bit honestly#in all honesty. kinda hate it! not bc of internalized homophobia but actually bc of internalized arophobia that has somehow been emphasized#after having my brain shift from '1000% aromantic without a doubt no exceptions' to 'just arospec ig lol??'#but tragically as it turns out. you can not just try and self analyze yourself into speedrunning closure.#horrible news for the oscar zymstarz community frankly#SO i needed a way 2 justify shoving this off my plate and into the trash as fast as possible.#im impatient and cant acknowledge my own emotions. its a flaw im working on it#oh and for all the ppl who know the running gag abt 'my allegations' [i do not have any real allegations for anyone not in jems server]:#that was in fact just a running gag for like well over a year and a half. like that was just a long running bit COMPLETELY unrelated to thi#i only started having this weird sexuality shift or whatever not too long ago lol. like long enough to go through 4 of the 5 stages of grie#[evidently bc like. im posting this. i got close enough to 5 to throw in the towel ykwim]#but on 'oscar zymstarz emotional acknowledgement' time that is....... not long.#but yeah ig tldr like. still ace [thank god] just arospec [probably demiro? i hate trying to figure out my own labels] instead of Aro now#idk none of this is that deep but also like it kinda is unfortunately bc i have to actually talk abt it to be able to ignore it ykwim#but i did! we're done talking abt it now! and now i can act like i dont care and try to make jokes about it to speedrun the rest of it#anyway. Happy Pride everyone. Fukign kitty.#side message to jem. by no means does this mean im not still gonna bully you. its a sign of love but also it is you specific bullying đ«¶#you are not safe#edit: this is karma for saying 'thank god'. might be demiace too. this is the worst month of my life /j
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I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RELAX!!!!
#im genuinely trying. and its not working#everytime i have more than 1 day of complete free time inspiration hits me like a rogue wave#and like. love that#but it just starts another cycle. why is it so god damn hard to actually really and wholeheartedly relax and not feel guilty about it#anyway. im forcing myself to play dai today because i just got off a 3hour writing session#and you might think thats good but I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH#WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK THIS WHOLE TRASHCAN OF EMOTIONS IN#it is not one successive scene. its a series of observations over the course of a whole arc#i literally relaxed with my cozy little writing session to add more work for myself. do you see it. do you see my plight#fml#(it was really good though.)
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Oh, boy. Really don't wanna get emotional here, but you know, there was a moment there this season where I thought this day wouldn't really come, and, um, I had guys at one point tell me that they'd strap me to their back and carry me on the ice to get me to a thousand, so I love you guys for that. I love going to work with you every day. It's been an absolute pleasure. Love you guys.
#tj oshie#capitals#washington capitals#nhl#nhledit#hockey#hockeyedit#meg.caps#meg.gif#meg.all#he brought up that anecdote about the guys saying they'd strap him onto their backs and carry him if needed multiple times#like that's so...... it meant so much to him that they love him that way. you can just tell he appreciated it more than he could express.#i know i don't shut up about my caps being just. a really strong and cohesive room and he is SUCH a huge part of that.#from the moment he arrived in dc he really became such an emotional cornerstone for this franchise. he was just the piece the group needed.#when they finally got over the hump and won in 2018 it was because trotz could put together two top lines;#one with kuzy centering ovi for explosive offense#and the other with nicke centering tj for the hard matchups; playing responsible defense with a scoring touch#and it's not that other guys didn't play hard. of course they played hard.#but tj always. ALWAYS gives more of himself than he has to give.#you can't play with a guy like that and not do the same. god. fuck. he's so important lol
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i finished demon slayer back in like .. 2020? or whenever the manga finished, but i shld probably watch the anime
#kny spoilers#demon slayer spoilers#<- for tags#sanemi.. he looks so good! i love him.#i always liked rengoku nâ sanemi the most. but i was a BIG shinobu fan when she fought douma#she was so badass. always was but especially then. it made me super emotional too seeing her backstory nâ having inner monologue#at that time demon slayer was the only anime / manga iâd ever cried to lol. everything about the ending arcs made me sad.#SANEMI AND GENYA ESPECIALLY OH MY GOD !!!#i will never fucking get over how sad i was reading through genyaâs death#i really loved gyomei too but i feel like he is a very forgettable character#eternal happiness forever at the fact sanemi didnât die though. i was so fucking happy when he was alive in the end#i ... didnât really ship obanai and mitsuri but their end was cute.#i was really happy when douma got killed too. he was sexy but my girl was better and sexier and always will be.#AND HIS STUPID LAST LINE ABT SEEING SHINOBUâS BEAUTY !!!!!!!! I WILL SEND HIM TO HELL MY DAMN SELF !!!!!#AWAY FROM HER !!!#n e ways ...... demon slayer infect my brain again ..;;
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working with children really will make you examine your thought processes and emotional reactions like nothing else. I've found myself being so much more thoughtful in my daily life about how I respond to my emotions and environment, as well as the reasoning behind why others behave the way they do
#yesterday i got really frustrated and overwhelmed at one point because this one little girl keeps getting really upset when she cant help me#like shell ask to help and i wont have a task (or ive run out bc shes already helped) shes capable of so i tell her that#and thank her for being thoughtful and helpful. admittedly the first time this happened i was really frustrated w her already#bc she had made a huge mess doing something i told her not to do and then didnt want to clean it up and she only came back#and asked to help because her friend had been helping me. so i was like girl. you didnt even clean up the last mess#but i also had nothing for her to do. anyway she started screaming and hid under a table so then her friend did it sith her just. because.#idk kids will see their friend freaking out and they do it too. and i understand it but my god. i dont deal well with really loud noise#and she did it again yesterday. i let her help me and then i ran out of tasks and she started crying and saying i never let her help#and for some reason there were like 6 other kids in there all wanting to help so then several of them started freaking out#and i could not handle it. i literally told my coworker like im about to cry right now lmao#and later the little girl was like wanting to hug me and talk to me and acting like nothing happened and i found myself wanting to withdraw#like i was feeling like i wanted to avoid her and not speak to her or be cold but i also knew i didnt want to treat her that way#and i took a couple minutes by myself and thought about why i felt that wayâ what the effects of that would beâ and how the kid felt#and i really just had to remind myself that she was feeling just as many emotions as i was but that shes only had 6 years#to learn how to manage them and deal with them in a productive way. she wasnt trying to upset me. she wasnt trying to make me mad#she was just dealing with her emotions in the only way she knew how. and im an adult and if she can get over it i really need to get over it#long ass tag story sorry
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ive decided that andoras almost always has crazy makeup and wigs on simply bcus its fun for him. and everin doesnt see him without any of it on until after the birthday party debacle and loses it slightly bcus she thought that was his real hair the whole time wdym youre BALD (hes not bald his hair is just short)
#my post#the wondrous oc tag#madineau#the lore is stored in the tags#world so beautiful. i love making shit up about my ocs#did this partly bcus i wanna include more ridiculous hairstyles in this bcus i realized that i can#and this is perfect for andoras bcus he literally doenst do anything all day anyways. so he just gets up spends half the day gettnig ready#and then spends the rest of it hanging around ev and bothering her#theres a bit of bright colors and markings like aposematism. like watch out hes toxic do not approach#like ev gives a shit though#ANDDDD ive managed to incorporate MOON SYMBOLISM. bcus god what is this story if not just the moon a thousand times over for no reason#(the reason is it was like 2 am i was delirious on sharpie fumes and got really emotional about the moon out of nowhere)#so like when hes first introduced his makeup includes a new moon. new beginnings and all that#during the birthday party hes got a 1st quarter moon. for intention. bcus thats when ev and an get a little normal about each other#and an specifically realizes oh hey. i actually liek this person. and i think she likes me too. i dont want this to ever stop.#smilesss he realizes this while theyre dancing. and ev is laughing and relaxed and SMILING for once and an wishes he could watch that smile#forever...#dreamy sigh. ive had that scene living in my head for years now#i think i came up with that after reading knifetrick. bcus i loved the party scene soooooo much <33#where was i. right moon makeup.#so in the very very very end andoras has a full moon#sealing of intention slash continuing the cycle. because its implied hes gonna overthrow the government and kill the current leaders#thats a big jump from where we just were. bear with me here a lot happens in this story#like the birthday party and that tender moment. is interrupted by the rev squad showing up and trying to convince a crowd of people to#murder ev#which more or less works pretty easily btw. they all just go 'ok bet' as if they werent attending HER party.#its fine its whatever its ok. ev doesnt think theres anyone she can truly trust but she does so anyways and just prays they dont turn on he#bcus the only people she has left in the world are her 2 advisors who hate her and her best friend who also maybe hates her
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