#god i love this style so much and i LOVE making the trains into robots

[op3ra]

I AM PURSE, ELECTRA’S MONEY TRUCK

[killmeprettypleasee]

Price x Ftm!lieutenant!Reader general dating hcs pls and tyy

Dating headcanons W/ John Price.

Warning: SFW AND NSFW mentioned, clingy price, mentions of killing someone, slightly possessive Price, switch Price and switch reader.

SFW

Before you and Price started dating, the two of you are already close friends, you two joined the military together and trained together back then before you guys are in your current ranks.

He is very sweet to you and supports you being a trans person.

He found out you were trans waaaayyyy back then, and the way he reacts was kinda random..

"Wait.. so your one of those transformers robots????" He looked at you dumbfounded as he scanned the surgery scars on your chest.

He was very confused.. but still supports you!

When someone was being toxic to you he WILL and not hesitate to unalive them.

He loves you too much see😭

He'll give them the coldest death stared making their bones quiver in fear.

He will cuddle you, and be hella clingy.

Imagine.

You both at the halls of the base and he's just hugging you, not caring if anyone is watching.

He would call you to his office to just hold you and have you sit on his lap.

Hell, every once i a while he'll make you skip training just to have you there with him..

He will never let you out of his sight.

NEVER.

You're his sunshine afterall, his Marshmellow to the hot cocoa, his sauce to the spaghetti, his peach to the eggplant (okay thats just weird..)

When you're both at home, he wouldn't let you go out to buy groceries and insisted that he should be the one buying.

He's just scared because he overthinks that someone will kidnap you.

He doesn't even care if you know self-defense 💀

When both of you go out on a date he'll take you out to the beautiful restaurants ever, but he rather keep it simply

He'll even buy you beautiful clothes to match your date.

One time both of you went to a Chinese sea food restaurant that serves raw and fresh sea food.

He bought himself those tentacles cus he wanna try them out.

End up sticking to his face.

Both of you gotta go to the doctor cus the tentacles suction wont let go.

He was traumatized and both of you never went to those fresh sea food restaurant.

NSFW

After ever date there should a spicy intimate time with him.

He would bend you over when you both in your car or at your house.

Just somewhere private where both of you could fuck.

He loves dominating you, but sometimes he also likes it when you're the one dominating him

He likes it when you overstimulate him till he's a whining mess when you're taking the lead.

You just loos so sexy ontop him while riding his cock while calling him a good boy.

It makes his cock twitch when you do that.

And the way you moan just sends him over the edge.

But when he's the one in control he would bend you over doggy style and hit your prostate head on with his tip.

He absolutely loves when you moan out his name.

Its just so cute.

He likes raw sex.

He wanna make sure to mark your insides aswell your body to show who you belong.

He loves it when your cunt squeezed his cock.

He'll call you a good boy for that.

When both of you are more on the romantic side he'll be gentle and loving with you.

He'll caressed your body and worship you.

He loves touching your scars btw.

He thinks its fascinating.

"God baby.. you're so damn beautiful.. such a handsome boy eh?.." He softly praised against your ear as he touched your scars.

He grunted when your cunt tightened around him.

"You're getting so tight around me baby boy.. such a good boy huh?"

Yeh...

He sometimes think about having a child with you sometimes.

This man has an extreme breeding kink...

Sometimes he'll rub your lower belly while he's fucking you cunt, whispering praises while he day dream of getting you pregnant.

He's glad you have a cunt ngl.

He could just impregnate you anytime..

But you're still a soldier and you still wanna keep the job so he respects that.

He'll wait when he's allowed to Impregnate you.

But he wont stop fucking you raw.

Sooo you have no choice but to go on birth control🤷.

[wrishwrosh]

hey, i find your posts about historical fiction pretty interesting, do you have any recs?

anon this is the most beautiful and validating ask i have ever received. absolutely of COURSE I have recs. not gonna be a lot of deep cuts on this list but i love all of these books and occasionally books do receive awards and acclaim because they are good. in no particular order:

the cromwell trilogy by hilary mantel. of course i gotta start with the og. it’s 40 million pages on the tudor court and the english reformation and it will fundamentally change you as a person and a reader

(sub rec: the giant, o’brien by hilary mantel. in many ways a much shorter thematic companion to the cromwell trilogy imo. about stories and death and embodiment and the historical record and 18th century ireland. if you loved the trilogy, read this to experience hils playing with her own theories about historical fiction. if you are intimidated by the trilogy, read this first to get a taste of her prose style and her approach to the genre. either way please read all four novels ok thanks)

lincoln in the bardo by george saunders. the book that got me back into historical fiction as an adult. american history as narrated by a bunch of weird ghosts and abraham lincoln. chaotic and lovely and morbid.

the everlasting by katy simpson smith. rome through the ages as seen by a medici princess, a gay death-obsessed monk, and an early christian martyr. really historically grounded writing about religion and power, and also narrated with interjections from god’s ex boyfriend satan. smith is a trained historian and her prose slaps

(sub rec: free men by katy simpson smith. only a sub rec bc i read it a long time ago and my memory of it is imperfect but i loved it in 2017ish. about three men in the woods in the post revolutionary american south and by virtue of being about masculinity is actually about women. smith did her phd in antebellum southern femininity and motherhood iirc so this book is LOCKED IN to those perspectives)

a mercy by toni morrison. explores the dissolution of a household in 17th century new york. very different place and time than a lot of morrison’s bigger novels but just as mean and beautiful

(sub rec: beloved by toni morrison. a sub rec bc im pretty sure everyone has already read beloved but perhaps consider reading it again? histfic ghost story abt how the past is always here and will never go away and loves you and hates you and is trying to kill you)

an artist of the floating world by kazuo ishiguro. my bestie sir kazuo likes to explore the past through characters who, for one reason or another (amnesia, dementia, being a little baby robot who was just born yesterday, etc), are unable to fully comprehend their surroundings. this one is about post-wwii japan as understood by an elderly supporter of the imperial regime

(sub rec: remains of the day by kazuo ishiguro. same conceit as above except this time the elderly collaborator is incapable of reckoning with the slow collapse of the system that sheltered him due to britishness.)

the pull of the stars by emma donoghue. donoghue is a strong researcher and all of her novels are super grounded in their place and time without getting so caught up in it they turn into textbooks. i picked this one bc it is a wwi lesbian love story about childbirth that made me cry so hard i almost threw up on a plane but i recommend all her histfic published after 2010. before that she was still finding her stride.

days without end by sebastian barry. this one is hard to read and to rec bc it is about the us army’s policy of genocide against native americans in the 19th century west as told by an irish cavalry soldier. it is grim and violent and miserable and also so beautiful it makes me cry about every three pages. first time i read it i was genuinely inconsolable for two days afterwards.

this post is long as hell so HONORABLE MENTIONS: the amazing adventures of kavalier & clay by michael chabon, the western wind by samantha harvey, golden hill by frances spufford, barkskins by annie proulx, postcards by annie proulx, most things annie proulx has written but i feel like i talk about her too much, the view from castle rock by alice munro, the name of the rose by umberto eco, tracks by louise erdrich

[jesterjaxx]

Halloween AU lore dump!!!

❗️WARNING❗️

so much infodumping world buidling and headcannons

DJ- Robot

Originally built to be a robo cop type deal. But when given free will refused to hurt anyone and got scrapped

Was found and repurposed by "Momma" to be a son

Really fuckin loves animals. Nature in general but mostly animals.

They get spooked by him a lot though

Hes kinda sad about this but gets it.

Momma is a scraper/engineer and outfitted him with everything a "good human boy" would need, like touch receptors and an ability to taste

Nothing to be done about majorly changing how he looks tho

The ability to feel is a bit too much sometimes

Sometimes all he can feel is cold

Goes to Duncan to see if he can do something about helping communicate to animals that he is a friend. Ala magic.

Machinery and Magic don't mix well typically, you gotta be crazy specific, which isn't really Duncan's styel

Duncan likes DJ tho, and proceeds to steal some of Harolds spellbooks

Side plot of them being wayyyy to hard for him to read, in both way too high level and shitty handwritten chickenscratch that fucks with his dyslexia, so he has to ask Harold for help

Maybe they learn to better understand eachother idk

Maybe they kill eachother

Harold and Duncan team up 6 dead 9 injured every single person is fucking baffled

Anyways DJ is like iron giant up in this bitch

His Momma is kinda worried that one day he'll learn enough mechanics to fix himself up and wont need her anymore

Tyler - Harpy

Ok the chicken fear makes sense now

He gets the uncanny valley feeling looking at chickens

I would too

He would fly into a window

Can he fly?

Hes like a turkey

Or a seagull

Wait im an idiot hes a chicken

Duh

Eva - Gargoyle

Her carver loved buff women thank god almighty for that

Punches like a brick wall

Living Stone

lion paws for feet

Did you guys know sound resonates the best through solids??

Her music listening experience is legit i just know it

Noah - The Blob/ slime monster

Oh god that poor guy

Hes gonna get slime all over his books

Harold - Witch

He's the type of witch to have seperate waters for different kinds of spells

A pretty dorky Witch, even by witch standards

Wears proper witch PPE (robes and hat)

Has his sheldon Big Bang Theory style shirts on underneath tho

Uses incantations and written spells in magical languages mainly

Uses the starlight, paper, ink, historical artifacts and an assortment of magical ingredients as fuels

Has a large collection of quality spellbooks for references

Not those shitty amazon spellbooks that are just a list of pre written spells, these ones were written by some old hag 80 years ago and through flowery rambleing language tell you how write spells yourself. They go into spell syntax.

Harolds books for writing incantations and spells are spiral notebooks

If he uses smbols will typically craft a custom sygil for it

Uses alot of number magic and latin

Uses his confidence in his skills with writing spells to harness magic

Is better at doing spells for other people, when doing spells for himself he tends to overcomplicate things

Actually went to magic camps and magic summer schools

"I was trained for this!" and it's Mostly true

Can make the most specific fucking spell work for him

I cannot stress he is good at this type of casting.

Duncan's way of doing magic pisses him off. Both are convinced their way is better

Harold to Duncan ->"What the fuck do you mean you increased your strength with a posca marker, bare knuckles and a dream. How are you not dead yet >:[ "

He has a lot of respect for magic itself, Duncan's almost disrespectful way of using magic makes him mad.

Whats worse is that it works.

How Harold casts a spell

Writes down a goal -> outlines different methods to achieve it (incantations, scrolls, potions) -> writes out the spelleork with alot of detail accounting for almost every outcome -> it takes very long -> outwardly or inwardly recites writes spell to activate it -> profit

Alejandro - Siren

(I give up with organization here no more bullet points)

Mermaids and Sirens are almost identical, with few overt physical differences

Sirens will typically have colored iris', 2 finned gills, longer tounges, boned ears and uniformly sharp teeth

Mermaids have colored scalera, 3 smooth gills, finned ears and sharp canines

This isn't a rule, and in modern times there are few families of sirens or mermaids that havent mixed with other monsters at some point

Both species have shape-shifting abilities.

Mermaids have two forms, and can switch between them at will, though the process takes hours and the mermaid will have to stay in either aquatic or land form for a couple weeks before changing again. though this wait time can be speed up with tailsmen, it's can cause health problems.

Siren can shift their features at will, including shifting from aquatic to non aquatic with no wait time, some families of Siren encourage "good breeding" and fostering shifting abilities to the point of shifting bone structure, hair, colors and gender at will. This level of shifting controll is a very desirable trait, and cannot be learned.

Alejandro is one of these few families who try to stay purely Siren

Hes a 100% Siren, but unlike his brothers he lacks any shape-shifting abilities, a flaw that has brought him great shame (this is just a genetic fluke, it's like a birth defect)

but he has both a very powerful ability to enchant his words and natural charisma. Dangerous combo.

Because of the well known knowledge that Sirens can manipulate people with ease, Alejandro semi pretends that he is a Mermaid, using his long hair to obscure his gills

He more just lets people assume hes a Mermaid and does not correct them rather than actually lying

He lies about many things but outright lying about species is a bit much

Siren Speech doesn't work as good if someone's also using magic at the same time or knows what's up about it

It doesn't work that great on Heather, Duncan or Harold point blank, or Lindsay, Beth Trent and Justin if they're shifting or shifted

Good thing hes manipulative on his own!

Beth - Mermaid

Yeah sure why not

I don't know enough about Beth yet i need a moot whose obsessed with her

Ezekiel - Ghost

Lmao hes invisible

Poor dude probably gets looked over all the time

Hes just clothes and a transparent person

Justin - Werewolf

The twilight girls would go crazy over him i know it

Cody - Puppet

Oh poor dude

Itll look cool tho

Hed make knock on wood jokes all the time

Trent - Werecat

The trustin girls would go crazy over this i know it

But real like hes chillin

Would use claws as a pick

Geoff - Frankenstein

A man of the people

Literally

Looses limbs easily

Wakes up after a party like "wheres my leg lmao"

Heather - Zombie

Oh this is good

Shes vegan

Would insult people like "i can tell you have a brain why the hell don't you use it"

Very concerned over phsyical appearance

Uses so so many products

Pretty alive looking for a zombie cuz of it

It's kinda creepy

Her eyes got no eyeshine tho

Like a shark.

Gwen - Skeleton/Ghost

Ok this was an accidental double Gwen got both Skeleton and ghost

Since Ezekiel is already a ghost i'm Gonna lean into the Skeleton bit more but throw a transparent silhouette over all of her for the ghost bit

Ghost vs Zombie rivalry

She'd do all sorts of cool drawings and markings on her bones

Gwen, drawing a bat on her femur with sharpie: tattoo moment

Her eyeliner is also sharpie

Who the fuck cares about skincare when you don't have skin

Lindsay: you shouldn't put permanent marker on your face! It can hurt you 🥺

Gwen, floating bones:

LeShawna - Chimera

YES I LOVE MONSTER COMBOS

LIKE COMBINATIONS OF MULTIPLE ANIMALS

lets do classic chimera but with one head

Lean into the Lioness bit cuz Leshawna is a boss bitch and Lionesses are so fucking cool

I might give her a scorpion tail

Duncan - Witch

Another double whoops lol

He's a "fuck it we ball" typa witch

lmao he and Harold are beefing like crazy i know it Harold has 12 spellbooks hes memorized with their specific ways of casting and Duncan is writing runes on his knuckles with sharpie

Duncan to Harold ->"Why are you using 2 pages of latin for a fire spell??"

"Because i need only this bit of wood to light on fire a little bit and nothing else and if i dont i could loose control of it or blow it up or it might not even start"

*stares in did finger guns at a branch and cremated it for fun*

Harold to Duncan ->"Why are you writing runes on your nailpolish??"

"i'm tired of being the only scary bitch here without claws"

*stares in once accidentally rubbed spell notes off of his spellbook and onto his face while passed out on his desk and gave himself acid burns for 3 weeks"

They go crazy they go stupid

Hes self taught

The Duncan and Harold bullying arc turned Street smart vs actually Smart but make it witches

Mostly just picking shit up as he goes

"Stole" (it was free) a pamphlet on different types of magical symbols and has managed to make the symbols illustrated in it work for almost every spell he wants

Fueled by raw unrelenting audacity

Real lore tho- magic is created with belief and harnessed with confidence, you can either go the intellectual route and control every variable and have trust in your control of those variables to harness the magic like Harold, or like Duncan, have enough semi-unearned confidence in yourself to harness magic with little need for more than a few variables.

Basically as a general rule, it has as much meaning as you truthfully believe it does

Doesn't explain what hes casting or how hes doing it

"Where'd you learn how to do that?"

"what are you a cop?"

(learned from illustrations, word of mouth, and other witches on the street)

Has a couple stick n poke magical symbols, several other scribbled on symbols that are temporary

Biggest one is a glyph for fire on his hand, he doens most of his spells using it

Has burns around his glyph tattoos from spells backfiring cuz he got distracted

Uses sharpies, spraypaint, eyeliner and the insides of firecrackers for drawing symbols

If he needs a magical material he'll typically substitute whatever he has on him, belief goes a long way.

"Pure Holy Silver?... this earring looks silver enough

This doesn't work for potions cuz potions are only a little left to normal chemistry.

Has alot of talisman he wears

Carries extra ingredients on him ala accessories cuz fuck it it looks cool

Mains his spells with symbols, uses potions or material fuels if he cant make a good connection between what he wants and one of 10 symbols he remembers at any given time

Uses moonlight, bones, rocks, and personal artifacts as fuels

How duncan casts a spell

Draws glyph -> creates a mental connection between what the glyph means and what he wants to do (this is mostly subconscious with Duncan he doenst know what hes doing he just knows he does it well)-> activates glyph physically (ie hitting, tapping, lighting, punching, tracing with finger)

Example: draws fire glyph on Chris's camper -> wants to set it on fire but not the surrounding grass and trees -> smacks the side of the camper that has the glyph on it -> profit

Duncan, to Harold: You make magic math, i make magic my bitch

Bridgette - Alien

Aww she could be so cute

Surfer girl from planet nine

Owen - Plant Monster

This could visually look really cool

Big carnivorous plant

Izzy - Angel

kaleidoscope = biblically accurate form, cuz she "Looks like a kaleidoscope! Duh!"

Lindsay - Selkie

If you steal her coat ill fucking kill you

Sadie - Vampire

Ough thats cute

I'm Gonna make her pigtails batwings

Katie - Zombie

undead girlfriends

Sadie thinks Katie is so pretty it doesn't matter her eye just fell out

Courtney - Demon

Oh this bitch looooves contracts

Is also upset about Duncan but she just doesn't like witches in general

Whats the point of making deals with humans for magical powers of some humans give themselves magical powers

Demon of what?? Pride maybe?? Or envy??

Shes a sweetheart tho

[simp999]

I feel this is cringe but it itches the back of my mind like no other… since it’s late 60s early 70s in tf2, mercs reaction to there being a new recruit who is a female pilot? I’m sorry if this sounds like? Hyper specific ? But she’s like hot biker/pilot bitch who is like the epitome of Cool Girl (tm) flared ripped jeans and tight tank tops yk?

GOING INSANE OVER THIS ITS SUCH A COOL IDEA

I'm so sorry about how long it took to make this and how short it is, I'm trying to do all my requests in order of what I received em ww

TF2 Mercs x Badass Fem Pilot! Reader Headcannons

Wc: 730

Themes: uhh Fluff? Romantic and platonic depends on character

A/N: Sniper bias whoop

A/N 2: okay so. I try to stray away from fem reader stuff but this THIS is a complete exception because I love the idea sm

Taglist: @emotionally-alive-sniper @moopy-milk @skeleton-stomper-xoxo @emotionallyunwellmedic @physically-robotic-medic

Masterlist

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Scout: 

-God,, he is immediately in love with your style and vibes.

-Yes, in a simpery way

-Will absolutely fumble on words and flirt miserably

-"Hey girl are you a pilot cause uh you’re really cool"

-Absolutely will find clothes that he thinks suits your style and be your #1 hypeman 

Soldier:

-Wants to touch all the buttons

-"SHOW ME YOUR MEDALS!!!!!!"

-Does respect the effort and time you’ve put into training definetly. But is always asking you to prove yourself

-Okay you can pilot but can you do 30 pushups. Right here right now.

Pyro:

-Doesn’t think of you any differently if you’re female

-A new cool friend!!

-Just an adorable little goober. Okay maybe they get to sit in the front sometimes

-Loves loves loves making drawings of you and them and planes!!!! And clouds

Heavy: 

-Protective older brother.

-He is SO overprotective of you. You remind him too much of his sisters.

-You’re strong just like them but,, it’s just scary, y’know? He misses them

-Often just kinda chills around- and won’t stand for ANY harassment or anything rude. AHEM spy AHEM

-And the clear bias for you? It’s honestly funny at times

-He definetly makes you sandviches and just. Silently takes care of you

Engie:

-Rocket boosters for the planes. He’s gonna bring it up on multiple occasions

-Makes you little plane trinkets out of wood and stuff!! Pyro paints them :]

-Is so interested in infodumping about mechanical stuff with you- he’s glad he has somebody that just. GETS HIM yknow?

-If you need someplace to go chill away from the chaos that the mercs usually bring, the workshop’s your go-to. Late night convos are the best with this man

Demo:

-Roughhouses!!

-Treats you like one of the guys

-Respectfully ofc but. You’re getting noogies

-Will be offering you beer n stuff, he treats you like a really good friend

-Lives for your vibes

-He thinks you’re so badass!! Hell yeah!!!

Medic:

-Kay so. You probably had to go through lots of training right?? So!;

-Rivalry for first aid.

-Hear me out

-Everyone all of a sudden wants you to help make them feel better when they get small injuries because of the one time you mentionned you had to do a buttload of first-aid courses

-So. Lots of who can make it to the scene and get (injured person) back on their feet the quickest

-Does ask you if you’ve ever expirinenced or witnessed anything wild- such as big crashes, and how people dealt with the situations

-Loves your stories despite pretending to hate you- it’s just a friendly rivalry!

Sniper:

-He’s not one to really apprach you, but he does definetly admire you from a distance.

-He thinks you’re too cool for him :( 

-But eventually one day, you’ll ctach him stargazing- and you’d have the amazing idea of bringing him for a ride just the two of you so that you can see the stars

-.God maybe he just fell in love I MEAN WHAT????? ANYWAys

-He LOVES stargazing with you!!

-You get to tell eachother stories and it’s overall really calming- a nice from the hectic mercenary life

-He also happens to know a fair bit about constellations, so he’ll infodump unconsiously if you let him :) 

Spy:

-Spyyyy… dislikes your ideals, and has traditional values

-Not a fan of the way you hold yourself, but will eventually warm up a bit

-Im sorry,, I just don’t like Spy aheh anyways

-You probably end up showing off your skills- not of purpose though, just- you seen a natural at what you do, and that’s when he sees that maybe there’s a reason you’re such a big deal

(Bonus!) All:

-They all fight over who gets to sit in the passenger seat. Some are more civil about it, for example Engineer or Heavy- but they still want to sit in the front for their own reasons. You may have walked into the room only to find all the mercs fighting iver who’s calling shotgun for the next ride.

“I AM GOING TO PRESS ALL THE BUTTONS!”

“NO WAY CHUCKLEFUCK, I’M SITTIN’ NEXT TA THE HOT CHICK!”

“No. Heavy will sit next to pilot for protection. Is only fair.”

“Ya’ll- I have some things I’d like to see up close in the cockpit, I think I should be next.”

“Mmhhph!!!”

.

.

.

Sep.20.23

[starleska]

welcome to...starleska's f/o round-up 2023! 🥳🥳🥳

below the cut is every single character i've had a crush on in 2023...and there are 30 in total!! 🙈💖 these are given in chronological order of fixation, and they are all new crushes (so re-entering a fixation for a character i've simped for previously doesn't count 😂) now be warned, this is a genuinely unhinged list. they are largely villains. one is a mushroom. one is a vehicle. one is a casino-themed duck-shaped robot. my autism is indiscriminate in the characters it fixates on, and they are all suitably embarrassing 😭💖 without further ado, here we go...

1. James the Red Engine | Thomas the Tank Engine

...shut up 😂💖 at the start of this year i truly lost my mind and fell headfirst into the Thomas the Tank Engine fandom (everyone there is so lovely and creative!!)...and of course, the vain train is my favourite 🙈💖 James is cute okay!! i don't need to justify myself!!! 2. 'Big' Jack Horner | Puss in Boots: The Last Wish

there's no way anyone missed this one - we are quite the tight-knit and dedicated group in the 'Big' Jack Horner fandom 😳💖 come on, look at him...a huge, powerful, obsessive, fancy-bastard collector with an affinity for magic??? he's stunning 🥴💖 i made so many lovely friends through gushing about this horrible man!!! we had so much fun making OCs to ship with him 🙈 one of the most intense fixations i've had all year, and one of the best villains we've seen in years...he is fantastic 🥰 3. Pizzahead | Pizza Tower

i don't know what's in the water of Pizza Tower but it's impossible to be normal about any character you like from that game 🙈💖 of course the evil sentient pizza slice took the top spot, he's so cartoony and ridiculous!!! the amount of power he exerts is also quite the draw 🤭💖 i'm not gonna lie there's a couple other characters from this game i may get into later...we'll see 😉 4. Fingers | Dead End: Paranormal Park

have you heard this guy's voice. can you blame me. deliciously evil fruity monstrosity with supernatural powers? sign me up to whatever sinister scheme Fingers has going on now or in the future 👉👈 he hits a lot of boxes...between the cabaret-style makeup, the posh, dismissive and manipulative personality and the inexplicable Eldritch body, he was always gonna be a crush 🤭 5. M.O.D.O.K. | Marvel

wheeze okay, this was originally a JOKE!!! @thelighttasteslikelasagna sent in this message joking that i look like i'd find M.O.D.O.K. hot, and i was really angry about it for five minutes...and then i discovered the stop-motion cartoon where he's exactly the kind of cringefail malewife villain i enjoy (in the Augustus St. Cloud vein), and the rest is history 🙈💖 definitely one of the silliest crushes i had this year, but he holds a special place in my heart :3c 6. Gargamel | The Smurfs

nah man i was on some serious mental illness at the start of this year 💀 i just can't help it when bad guys are like this, alright!!! Hank Azaria's performance as Gargamel is sooo silly and over-the-top, i couldn't help but love every second he was on screen 🙈💖 Gargamel's just a whole lot of fun!!! who doesn't love a magic-wielding freak hellbent on the destruction of a group of little creatures?? (i cannot and will not be taking any questions at this time 😶) 7. Wally Darling | Welcome Home

my God, the Wally Darling fixation hit the entire Internet like a train 🤭💖 soft-voiced, ambiguously-moraled rizz puppet that he is, how could we not all fall head-over-heels? i have to thank this guy for throwing me headfirst back into fanfic writing, as the whole Welcome Home story really inspired me...not to mention all the lovely folks who wanted to imagine different ways of getting to hold Wally's hand 🥰 hooray for our pretty puppet boy!! 8. Killa Harkan | John Wick: Chapter 4

...yes, i know, it's funny that Killa's the first of two cartoonishly evil German-accented bad guys with sleight of hand tricks and gold teeth on the list this year 😂💖 sitting in the cinema, the second he opened his mouth my partner just turned and stared at me, because they knew. i refuse to apologise for appreciating a really awful bastard - especially one who dresses so sharply 😉 9. Ian Hawke | Alvin and the Chipmunks

yet another member of the 'it started off as a joke...' club 🤭💖 listen, Ian serves!!! we can't resist a smarmy music producer/manage type, can we? Ian's in the same camp as Gargamel for being a deeply evil man whose capacity for doing harm is directed at little creatures. all i'm saying is, he can sign me up for a dodgy deal any day 🥴 10. Myc Cellium | Inside Job

i can't tell if it's my monsterfucker tendencies or my consummate attraction to Brett Gelman but the crass sentient mushroom got me down bad 😭💖 he's just such a menace!! he's got that intoxicating combo of being horribly socially inappropriate and an actual outcast...fellas, Myc was fixation bait for me 😭 11. Klaus Kickenklober | Sing 2

i don't care if you think you're not a furry, someone can and will get you from the Sing franchise, and that is a threat 🙈💖 yesss laugh it up, Star's got another stern and vaguely European cartoon villain added to the list 😂 i just find Klaus so impossibly delightful!!! he'd be a terrible teacher to have in real life, but in fiction, i think i could fix him :3c 12. The Spot | Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

ohoho, i know you guys were living for The Spot fixation because i remember your reaction to the x Readers 😉 look at him and his incredible design!!! the transformation of The Spot from weak laughable villain to reality-bending monstrosity had me by the throat...and i can't wait to see more of him when the next Spider-Verse drops 👀 13. Mad Mod | Teen Titans

MAD. BLOODY. MOD!!!!! i think our favourite British bastard has to take the crown (literally and figuratively) as my strongest fixation out of the whole of 2023, i lost my mind over this guy. he just consumed my every waking thought!!! 🙈 the style, the voice, the unbelievable engineering skill...Mad Mod is one of those once-in-a-lifetime f/os that you know you'll be obsessed with for a very long time 😳💖 i look back so fondly on those wonderful few months of Mad Mod fandom resurgence, and how that still continues today...here's hoping even more people find out about him and develop their own crushes 😉 shout-out to the lovely @iriso-page who suggested him and Music Meister to me 🙈💖

14. Control Freak | Teen Titans

sdfgdf okay back on form with the fat dweebs, i know, i know!!!! my ravenous Mad Mod fixation wasn't enough to ignore Control Freak, one of the most delightfully stupid villains in Teen Titans...!!! he hits all my buttons (ha!) and i genuinely think his design and powers are kind of epic. would love to see him utilised in the future 😉 (i am never beating the Discord kitten allegations...) 15. Ken | Barbie

well, this particular blond himbo was quite the surprise!! 🤭💖 i'm not usually the one to go for such a stereotypical hottie, but Ryan Gosling plays Ken as so unhinged and...off for the whole movie, he activated the same neurons which come with the weirdest of my crushes 🙈💖 Ken's a misguided sweetheart and i'd love to help him feel a little bit wanted;;; 16. Buck Ruffler the Duck Shuffler | Toontown: Corporate Clash

fell into the wonderful world of Toontown: Corporate Clash and imprinted on this fucker like...well, like a baby duck 😂💖 is this not the most spectacular design for an original Cog you've ever seen?! i love that Buck is an absolutely scrambled robot with a gambling addiction, and i think he'd be lovely (and hilarious) company 🥰

17. Barnaby | Billie Bust Up

ohhhh yesssss Billie Bust Up caught my attention with this sinister goofball!!!! fancy, flamboyant and very into murder...Barnaby has all the traits for any Tumblr Sexyman, and i cannot wait for the full game to drop so we can see even more of him 👀

18. The Mad Hatter/Jervis Tetch | Batman

Jervis Tetch my beloved!! this has been the year of fancy blonds in top-hats, as well as deeply silly hypnotists, and Jervis kicked off this trend with a bang 🙈💖 i'm a Mad Hatter fan generally but B:TAS Jervis is a special kind of pretty stalker, and that voice is delicious 🥴 thanks to him for kicking off an Alice in Wonderland fixation and for finally getting me into drinking tea...the things we do for our crushes, eh? 🥰 19. Music Meister/Darius Chapel | Batman

and here is the first character played by Neil Patrick Harris who made it onto this year's list!!! 🙈💖 another camp, theatrical Batman villain to add to my collection...gorgeous voice, such an immense sense of style, and wonderfully good fun!! i think more people should get a little obsessed with the Music Meister 😉 20. Buggy the Clown | One Piece

none of you can judge me for this one - i remember all the TikTok edits!!! 😂💖 Buggy is pathetic and so much fun - i wasn't expecting to enjoy him as much as i did!! although my fixation for him may have been short-lived, my love for him certainly isn't 🥰 21. Pat Butcher | BBC Ghosts

ohhhh, every now and again a little sweetheart will get me right in the feelings, and Pat Butcher is added proudly to my f/o collection as the second Yorkshireman (next to Salad Fingers 😭). i just love what an upbeat, lovely man he is!! he's so soft and warm to everyone he meets and tries his best to do everything right by his friends...i'd love to cuddle with him 🥺 22. Josh Levy | The Eltingville Club

a classic return to form with Josh Levy, à la Comic Book Guy and Control Freak...really telling on myself by collecting these horrible greasy nerds who would 100% call me something derogatory if i tried to talk to them 💀 i appreciate every last one of The Eltingville Club but Josh, as a failed writer who remains just as toxic as he was when he was a teen, is my undisputed favourite 🙈💖 23. Swan | Phantom of the Paradise

oh God, reawakening my crush on Paul Williams by discovering Swan damn near killed me!!!! 😭💖 i was so obsessed with this man as a kid and the moment i saw him as Swan in POTP i felt intense attraction and gender envy in equal parts;;;; Swan's whole aesthetic and demeaning, inhuman approach to people is impossibly sensual, and i can't overstate enough how little evil dudes in tinted shades will always get me down bad 🙈💖 24. Kinger | The Amazing Digital Circus

my love for Kinger was such a pleasant surprise!! 🤭💖 sweet, anxious fella that he is, all i want to do is get him out of that digital hellscape and ensure he can wrap up in as many blankets as he likes!!! i love his always-on-the-edge-of-a-breakdown portrayal and am so eager to learn more about him and his backstory 👀 25. Peter Gregory | Silicon Valley

ahhh, kicking it the old-fashioned way by getting extremely invested in the most autistic character on the show (and that's saying something, given the high neurodivergent coding of everyone in Silicon Valley 🙈💖). Peter's style and methods of communication are traits i simply find attractive in real life, and although he sadly wasn't with us long, he absolutely stole the show ✨ 26. 'Action' Jack Barker | Silicon Valley

given my love of nerds it's no shocker that Silicon Valley hit me with two f/os, and 'Action' Jack Barker - the tech-field Colin Robinson - was a surefire entry 😳💖 what is it about these milquetoast men who are so whitebread yet are capable of such terrible things which gets me every time?! Jack is such a fun character and i'm glad we got as much of him as we did 🙈 27. Avery | Pokémon: Sword and Shield

i cannot believe none of you guys told me about Avery, the most amazingly dressed character i've ever seen in the whole of Pokémon 🙈💖 shhhh he is so very pretty and petty and his powers are incredibly cool. i just love everything about him and would delight in helping him develop a real sense of self-esteem, because he does not deserve the dismissal he receives from his family 😭💖 28. Matthew Patel | Scott Pilgrim

oh my God, heart in my MOUTH seeing Matthew Patel get the glow-up villain arc he so desperately deserved!!!!! 😭💖💖💖 Matthew is just the epitome of style and power in Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, and it was so fantastic getting to see him grow as a character and get self-actualised. plus his fight scenes were some of the coolest things i've ever seen. Matthew can i have your number please 🥺 29. The Toymaker | Doctor Who

!!!!!!!!!! i don't know if you guys can tell, but i really love the Toymaker...and even predicted that he'd completely consume my mind months before we got The Giggle 🙈💖 e v e r y t h i n g about him just gets me so bad. his reality-bending, his teasing attitude, his ridiculous accents, his gorgeous costumes, his emotional inconsistency, his tragic backstory...god, if i so much as look at him smiling i melt 🥴💖 characters played by Neil Patrick Harris really get me!! i'm so proud to be modding a server dedicated to the Toymaker now, and have met so many brilliant, wonderful friends through him and falling back into Doctor Who!!! i think we're all going to be brainrotting over him for quite some time 😉💖 30. Dr Mark Fry | Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget

Dr Fry, rushing in at the finish line!!! 🤭 the second my pals saw this guys they were all spamming me, begging me to watch Dawn of the Nugget!!! and ooooh i was noooot prepared for the specific brand of soft creepy genius he is 💖 even if they'd played Dr Fry purely as your run-of-the-mill mad scientist he would've gotten me bad, but they just had to make him equal parts freaky and brilliant with just a touch of arrogance, didn't they?? Melisha scored well 🤤 (also, three whole Yorkshiremen in my collection now!! is it the accent? 😭) aaaaand that's everyone!!! phew, is anyone else out of breath? 🥵 what a wonderful, silly year of fixations this has been 🤭💖 thank you all for being here, brainrotting happily alongside me for some of these characters, and for all the other characters you love!!! i hope 2024 is awesome to you, and that many more fictional characters are around the corner, ready to make you smile 😉

[mutated-green-things]

Dust Bunnies #1: A pleasure to meet you, O Terrapin Mine

Words: 2,481

Pairing: Leosagi

Rating: E

Warnings: No actual content warnings, but this whole ficlet is a Destiny 2 AU and... D2 lore is so goddamn complicated that I am not going to explain it here. Just. Cliff notes: The turtles are essentially zombie space super heroes resurrected by a silent mechanical god known as the Traveller and Usagi is a robot that used to be a human but was stuffed into said robot frame by a madman who wanted to become immortal through technology.

--

Ada-1 calls him over comms. Something about a newly forged sword he would want a look at. Inspired by a blade carried by Uldren Sov. He doesn’t know how much he likes the idea of using something related to Cayde’s killer, but Ada insists, saying she knows he appreciates the older ways of combat. She also adds something about a new spin on the old ways, and Leonardo honestly has no clue what to make of that. 

All of that doubt leads to a faux pas of sorts. There’s a new face in the armory, an exo like Ada, but unfamiliar, as Leonardo felt the mystery sword would be. So he hesitates. Freezes really, long enough that Ada actually chuckles.

“This is Usa-5, Guardian. He won’t bite.” 

Leo coughs, continues forward, and holds out one of his bulky, three fingered hands. Usa-5 stares at it curiously for a moment, then bows. Leo blinks, then follows suit, smiling a little under his helmet at such a formal, antiquated greeting.

When he rises he can’t help the one word that slips out, raised at the end like a question. “Usa?” 

The new exo doesn’t speak, instead Ada-1 steps in to break the beat of silence.  “Yes,” she says, amusement still laced into her voice, “Usa is intentional. 

Leo’s eyes are still fixed on… him? Usa-5 is clearly styled to be more masculine, his metal body has sharper angles than Ada’s, even if there is still some curves along his— 

Leo’s eyes fly back up, thankful that his helmet is there to cover the sudden heat that flares up into his cheeks.  That face. So very distinct in its shaping. It’s why he’d asked about ‘Usa’ in the first place. The eyes are nothing remarkable. Like most other exo’s, they glow bright and occasionally shutter closed like camera lenses, but… but the metal below them doesn’t shape to form lips, or even a recess and volume visualizer like Ada-1’s. Usa-5’s alloys instead bend out to a tip of what Leo can only describe as a snout. That isn’t all though, really it’s not even the most notable feature. No, even more obvious is the tall triangular antennae that flick and sway as Usa-5 stares him down. Leonardo finds himself wondering if he’s ever seen a more charming exo. 

He doesn’t ask that. Instead he turns back toward Ada, and tries to word his actual question as carefully as he can. “Not to offend, but is he here because of the new sword or…?” 

Neither of them bristle. Ada responds with a nod. “Yes.” Then she tilts her head a little and concedes, “…and no. Usa-5 did indeed craft the blade I called you here for, but he is also here as part of a… training program?” 

“An apprentice of yours then?” Leo says it with a playful note to his voice, and gets the sarcastic bite he expects back from Ada. 

She rolls her eyes. “Something to that effect I suppose. You see, as much I would love to spend all my precious time attending to you guardians, I simply can’t, especially with the hours you all keep. Still, I and the rest of the armory felt that the forge should continue to be available at all hours if possible. The solution is simple enough. I’ve begun to train others to monitor this post, with Usa-5 being the first of a hand picked few.” 

Leo nods, smiles, and turns back to the new face. “So I’ll be seeing more of you then?” 

There’s enough of a pause that Leonardo almost doesn’t expect a response, but no, Usa-5 is indeed capable of speech. “Yes, guardian.” He says with a curt nod. 

—

Leonardo enters the armory backward: smile on his face, helmet in his hand, ghost at his side, and still chuckling at something Michelangelo said before speeding off to find Donnie. 

He turns, and just like last time, freezes. This time, Usa-5 does too. His eyes snap from place to place along Leonardo’s body in a way that by now is completely familiar. When him and his brothers had first been resurrected by the Traveler’s light, there had been questions, wonder, disgust, outrage, curiosity, but between the existence of Exo’s and Awoken, and the undeniable fact that all of them had been chosen, many had gotten used to the presence of four mutated turtles in their ranks. The vanguard’s approval and recognition helped too of course. Not many dared to question Ikora or Zavala individually, and when they agreed on something, well there wasn’t much to do but go along with it. 

Still, new lights and rare visitors to the last city were caught off guard at times. Especially when they took any of their armor off. Usa is a bit more tactful than the new lights though, and cuts his stare with another traditional bow. “Guardian.” 

Leonardo mimics the movement and takes a moment to contend with the deja vu. When he rises, Okami has already drifted forward, shell twisting to and fro as he inspects what he missed last time. There’s a pause where the only sound is the clicking and whirring of his ghost as he analyzes, then Okami turns, and his mechanical voice is as smug as Leonardo’s ever heard. “You’re right Leo, he is definitely… interesting.” 

The teasing makes Leo’s face burn bright and this time there’s no helmet to cover it up. Usa-5 doesn’t seem to pick up on the salacious undertones though, and simply looks at Leo quizzically. “I appreciate being of interest, but I can’t possibly imagine what was so fascinating. I barely spoke last time we met.” Then the metal plates of Usa-5’s snout shift in an unusual way. It takes Leo longer than he wants to admit to realize the change is a gentle smile.  

“Y-Your sword.” He says because that’s the first thing that comes to mind. He means the weapon of course, but can already hear Okami turning that into a double entendre later. He squashes that thought down. “It’s been very useful.” 

Another shift of metal. The smile is wider now, more enthused than gentle. “Oh good. And it continues to interact with the void light you imbued it with as intended?” 

“Yes. Just as you described and demonstrated.” 

“Excellent! And what do you think of the projectile overall?”

Leonardo reaches behind him and pulls the sword from its sheath with the sound of metal against leather. It hums in his hands as he holds it out horizontally, pulsing with vibrant purple void light. He recalls how easily the sharp blade broke through hordes of Hive, Eliskni, Cabal but… any sword could do that. 

No, what Usa will want to hear are stories like the time he and Donnie were pinned down by a Vex Hydra, tense and scared as they watched Raphael’s ghost slowly repair his broken body in the open. He’ll want to know how the sword’s projectiles buffeted back the hulking mechanical frame long enough for Spike to finish fixing their brother, long enough for them to regroup and win the day. 

Leonardo opens his mouth to relay all that, but the recounting sticks in his throat like taffy. There’s another aspect that he isn’t sure he should voice. How he always feels safest with a sword in his hand, even when he knows that the more standard firearms of the Tower and Black Armory are more practical, are safer. Donnie had told him it was likely a memory, something he only half remembered from their past, mortal lives. Regardless of the reason, a ranged blade, a “caster frame” as Ada-1 had called it, allowed him to not have to compromise. Allowed him to always feel secure under fire. 

“It’s.” He swallows. “I never would have thought of it, but that part has been invaluable. Really, words can’t express my gratitude.” 

Usa-5’s shutter eyes go wide, then click closed and open several times in rapid succession. “You mean it?” 

Leonardo nods once, curt and sharp, and Usa-5’s smile blossoms into a bright, beaming thing that Leo can’t help but match. 

—

"Hunter."

"I've graduated beyond Guardian now?"

"I am learning. Your roles. Your... Vanguard, and the titles associated with it. The Black Armory was never concerned with such things. Until recently that is."

Leonardo smirks. "I see. I appreciate the interest. Ada-1 still calls me Guardian. Just... don't make it obvious you're developing a soft spot. Secret's safe with me."

Usa-5's mechanical 'ears' flick downward, hinting at embarrassment or at the very least the fact that he's caught off guard. Just like a rabbit, Leonardo thinks.

—

Leonardo holds the little tin package gingerly, rubbing his fingers over the cool metal. He’s already delivered Ikora’s and Zavala’s cookies and he’s of course picked out more targeted gifts for his brothers, but he’s questioned and reconsidered this Dawning present over and over. 

Baked goods are standard, friendly, but not considered and personal like what he gave his family. He’s had deeper conversations with Usa-5 now. Not anything terribly profound but more than casual greetings and small talk. That’s how he’s learned of Usa-5’s love for vanilla shortbread. That’s how he learned that Usa-5 hadn’t celebrated the dawning in a long, long while. 

“If you don’t make a move soon I’m going to charge in and tell him how much of a chicken you are.” Leonardo startles at Okami’s words, then glares at the little laughing menace. He’s never known another ghost that takes so much delight in teasing its guardian. Even Klunk, fun loving though he is, usually teases others with Michelangelo. 

“I’m—“ he goes to scold his ghost, but then pauses, sighs, and looks down at his gift again. “What if it’s too much?” 

“Oh please! They’re cookies! I bet you fifty thousand glimmer he got you some too.” 

Leonardo rolls his eyes. As ghost and guardian, their resources are intertwined, so any glimmer of his also belongs to Okami. Once Drifter had taught them what gambling was though, there was always some sort of bet from his ghost. Even if it didn’t really count as such. Especially when it didn’t count. 

“I don’t—“ 

Okami starts to drift backward toward the Black Armory’s entrance. “I’m gonna do it!” 

Leonardo lurches forward, grabbing for his ghost’s traitorous form, only for Okami to dart away once, twice, thrice. Leo almost has him, the little demon, just—

“Hunter? Are you alright?” 

Leo turns slowly, and sees Usa-5’s bright eyes staring into him, all curiosity and concern. Okami speaks before he can, calling out cheerfully. “A joyous Dawning to you, Usa-5.” 

Leo wants to cringe into himself, into dust, into a puddle on the floor, even as Usa-5 five calls back cheerfully, “Yes! A happy Dawning to you as well, Ghost. And you too, Hunter.” 

It’s too much. Usa won’t even use his name. Even something as surface level as baked goods is too obviously sentimental to be appropriate. Especially when they’re homemade, especially when Leo remembered his favorite from an offhand comment said weeks ago. Maybe he could just—

“I— I got you something. Well. More… made you something.” It takes Leonardo a moment to realize those words are not his own, but Usa-5’s. “It’s nothing extravagant or unusual, but I did not wish to go overboard, and Ada said this would be… appropriate.” 

Leo’s gaze drifts down from the bright eyes, the metal snout. Usa-5 is holding out a sword in both hands. A finely crafted, honed thing with a long, thin metal blade that has frost creeping along its back edge. Leo immediately feels the pulsing weight of darkness energy, of stasis, of control. 

“How—“

“The Drifter infused it for me. He was very helpful once I asked, though he kept pestering me with strange questions.” 

“Oh I bet he did…” Okami says it with an edge that implies a lot of… something. Leo guesses there might be another entendre in there somewhere, but before he can really start puzzling it out, Okami continues, more cheerfully, “That’s great! Fantastic really, since Leonardo got you something too.” 

Leo freezes as those words float out into the air. He’s ashamed to admit that he does consider ending Okami right then and there for the briefest of moments, then even more embarrassing, he contemplates running for many, many more moments. 

“Oh! That’s very kind of you. I—“ There’s a stuttering whirr that sounds a lot like cogs and wires getting tangled up. For a moment Leo even considers that there might be a serious malfunction in Usa-5’s artificial voice box or metallic jaw. It is kind of just… hanging open. But then the muzzle clicks shut and opens a second later with a gentle, joyous smile. “Thank you.” 

Okami doesn’t say anything else, he simply floats out of the way and turns toward his guardian. Deferring to him, but also… egging him on almost. 

Leo takes the hint and power walks down the hall, hand already outstretched to offer what seems like a measly gift next to Usa-5’s sword. Each movement is mechanical and stiff, more robotic than any exo, ghost, or Vex Leonardo had ever seen. “Here I— um. I-I’m pretty sure I remembered correctly.” 

Usa-5’s shifts the sword to one hand and lets it drop to his side. Each movement seems like water next to what Leonardo was… attempting a moment ago. Usa plucks the tin up with one sleek, intricate hand. They too look like the picture of grace next to the thick, heavy, three-fingered mitts the mutation left Leo and his brothers with. He does his best not to dwell on the difference.

Watching Usa work is a much better use of his time anyway. The way his thumb flexes, strains against the metal cap for a moment, before it yields and pops open. The way that digit keeps lifting, flicking the lid to the side to reveal what Leo can only hope is a prize worth the effort. 

“These—“ There’s a moment where lenses whirr, shutter closed. Then Usa-5’s muzzle flexes and spreads into that bright, beaming sort of smile again. “You did remember. Vanilla shortbread, and—“ he giggles, actually *giggles.* Leo didn’t know a member of the black armory could do that. He does know it’s the most wonderful sound he’s heard since the Traveler resurrected him. “Look at them. Shaped like little blades.” 

Usa-5 had been focused on the gift until that moment, but when his bright eyes and shining smile turn up, back toward Leo, there’s a funny little flutter his heart and stomach do simultaneously. 

He knows he should say something. ‘You’re welcome’ ‘I’m glad you like them.’ Nothing comes out. Leo doesn’t mind though. Usa-5’s next words are better than anything he could have come up with. 

“Thank you Hu—“ a pause, a shifting of the lenses in those glowing eyes, then, “Thank you, Leonardo.”

[ss-shitstorm]

Okay okay I’m currently rereading fortuna primaginia for like the seventh or eighth time rn and I am genuinely very curious (and you by no means have to answer this if you don’t want to) but how would the story have differed if Ratchet had shot his shot first and reader had ended up with him before Optimus? My mind is just rolling at the parallels of what could be similar but what would be so very different. Would Optimus have even attempted engaging the reader after that? I love them so much!!!

(Anon sorry I'm sure you just wanted a simple little aside but you're getting a full blown greentext headcanon sloppy style fanfic)

Slaps ask This bad boy can fit SO MUCH angst in it good fucking god. This has been literally eating at my brain every waking second since I received it. There’s just so, so many ways this could go down. And since there IS so many ways this could go down, please by no means treat this shit my brain coughed out as the only way. It’s just a way. But it got my in a vice grip and won’t let go.

Also if anyone’s got their own ideas about how this could’ve gone down please, please share

-Around the time you guys had your first little late night/early movie pow wow, Ratchet, in a wired/half asleep delirium, makes a pass. -It’s a throwaway pass, probably relevant to something in the movie. He doesn’t expect you to even respond. -He definitely doesn’t expect you to reciprocate. -He knows he should stop right exactly here and never bring it up again

-But he doesn’t. -He’s old. He’s tired. He’s (at least a little) drunk. He’s been fighting for so long and passed up so many chances at happiness. Fuck it. He’s gonna see where this goes. -He starts making excuses to see you more often, and you do the same with him.

-OP notices this and immediately backs off, full stop. -You figure he wasn’t actually that into you to begin with, and (albeit reluctantly) shrug it off, and are thus freed to peruse Ratchet with no remorse. -In reality, it’s a knee-jerk reaction out of respect to Ratchet, since he’d done the same for him when they were dating, and he’d first started talking to Elita. Ratchet already sacrificed his happiness for him once before. he’s not going to let him do it again. -But that doesn’t stop his feelings from doing…whatever it is they’re doing. -You still saved Bumblebee. You still adopted Bumblebee, so this mech can’t not see you. -Every time he takes you to the park, or the movies, or on a nature walk somewhere, and sees you playing with his sparkling he wants to shove his head into an industrial trash compressor -He’s happy for you. He’s happy for Ratchet. He’s forever indebted to you for saving Bumblebee and Primus-fragging-blessed why isn’t that enough? -That and he’s still actively mourning the loss of Elita, whom you share an almost identical EM signature with, so every time he’s within sensing range of you he’s blasted with grief and guilt. -But he still spends time with you. It hurts just to look at you, but if the alternative is not seeing you at all then he’ll gladly endure the pain.

-When the heat cycle hits, you’re actually with Optimus. He, you and Bumblebee were in one of the training rooms getting some (gentle, for Bee’s sake) exercise. -When that electrical, wet, cracked egg sensation first drips down your spine, Optimus stops what he’s doing, stares at you, and starts trembling. -You’re understandably worried and ask him what’s wrong. -He manages to articulate something about you emitting an abnormal EM frequency, and to please to go see Ratchet about it immediately. -You have more questions, but he excuses himself from the conversation to walk a safe distance away from you Bee, and proceeds to tear a fucking wall out -You go to the infirmary to see Ratchet, who explains heat cycles and why he thinks your mutant little human body is mimicking one while crushing the edge of a medical berth with his servos. -You, already pretty riled up from watching two (2) of your handsome robot buddies crush and smash things on your behalf, tell him to go ahead and break the Hynek’s scale with you -Ratchet,having zero reason to restrain himself otherwise, mass converts, bends you over a human-sized medical gurney, and fucks you until you black out.

-You don’t go into a coma. Ratchet’s exceptionally skilled in maneuvering his field, so freeing it from your grabby, inexperienced one isn’t a problem for him. -Nor do you wind up with a busted pelvis, bruises or bleeding after sex(at least, not by much. His dick’s still the size of two tallboy monster cans duct-taped together.) -But after the third or so time you guys bone, you do start coughing a lot. And passing out a lot. And puking a lot. -Ratchet’s starting to worry he missed something in his evaluation of your body’s adaption to energeon and cybertronian bio fluids. So he runs some scans. -Lolnope. Turns out you adapted too well. You’re fucking pregnant. -He stares at the results for a whole-ass hour before he can even summon the courage to explain this to you. -By “explain” he means “I had no idea this was possible and I still don’t know how it’s possible or what the fuck it’s going to do to your tiny little squishy body if you decide to keep it.” -You, knowing full well how devastatingly close their whole species is to extinction, thinking about Bumblebee growing up without ever seeing another sparkling, decide “fuck it. We doing spacemom 2 : electric boogaloo”

-Ratchet’s whole ass world changes right exactly then. -In a bad way. -He’s going to be supportive. He’s going to take care of you. He’s going to monitor you night and day and give you everything you could possibly ever need, because not only is this entirely his fault and he cares about you, but- -He doesn’t want to be around sparklings. -Bumblebee is different. Bumblebee doesn’t exist because of him -But because of what happened with Soundwave, and the cassettes, he does not want to have a sparkling. He’s not allowed to. Not after what he did. -He starts drinking more. And loosing himself in his work. And finding reasons to not be around you. -Or anyone. -He’s in his lab constantly. He says it’s because he’s learning as much as he possibly can about human bodies and human reproduction and running what tests he can to find out how to give you the nutrients the sparkling needs without poisoning you, how to compensate for the effects of your weaker field on it’s organ and internal systems development. -He’s not lying. But he’s also using it as an excuse to stay the hell away from you. -Your relationship starts deteriorating, along with your health. -Seeing you getting sicker and weaker because of something he did to you is dredging all his baggage with the Iaconian hospital experiments up from the dark corners of his mind and you are in no condition for him to confess about that now. -So he hides. You’re left out in the cold.

-Optimus see’s you emotionally freezing to death, and offers warmth. -The time you’d normally reserved for spending with Ratchet is now spent with him. -You don’t want to dump your problems on him. You don’t. -But Optimus feels the sting of Ratchet’s cold shoulder just as badly as you do. So he winds up being less an emotional dumping ground and more of a commiserating partner. -You’re both so worried about him. -Op’s so worried about you, being balls deep in your carrying cycle, puking blood almost daily and in a terrible place with your baby daddy. -He tells himself it doesn’t go deeper than that. And it never will -He knows it’s bullshit. -He knows his spark screaming out for him to comfort you and screaming out for him to take you are two vines in the same jungle, hopelessly braided together and impossible to separate fully. -He knows this and he still invites you out to stargaze after Bee’s been put to sleep, wrapping you up in so many sweaters and blankets and bringing you to the top of the base for the clearest view of the desert sky. -He’ll lie down on his back and you’ll sit next to his helm and nerd out until you inevitably fall asleep mid-sentence somewhere. -He’s heard you name every single star in every single visible constellation a hundred times, and he’ll gladly hear it a hundred more. -He offhandedly compares you to Ursa while you’re pointing it out, and you break down in tears. -You’re not a bear. You’ve never been a bear. Bears are strong enough to keep their shit together. You’re not keeping your shit together. At all. -He tells you that’s bullshit. He tells you anyone in your position would be breaking down, yes including a bear. -He tells you you’re the strongest person he’s ever met and whatever’s going on with Ratchet’s not your fault. It’s not. -He has a point, but you still feel so weak, and tell him you can see why Ratchet wouldn’t want to be with someone as fragile as you. -Seeing you like this breaks something in him. There’s protocols blowing up left and right in his processor and spark telling him to stop the tiny human from crying. Stop the adoptive mother of his sparkling from crying. Stop you from crying. -So he rolls over, he cradles you against his cheek while you sob. You lean into him, throw your tiny arms around him and - -He kisses you -He realizes it’s a mistake the second he does it. He breaks the kiss, wracked with guilt, apologies immediately, tires to pull away- -You don’t let him. You kiss him back. -His field rolls over you out of nowhere like a tsunami, knocking you on your ass. -He can feel your field already sinking it’s inexperienced kitten claws into his, and he yanks it away before they can entwine further. -You two stare at each other in silence for a few moments after that, before wordlessly heading back inside. -You go straight to bed, too tired to analyze exactly what the fuck that was, or wonder if you were wrong about him not liking you. -He goes back to his room and stares at the wall. He has no excuse for what the fuck he just did. He doesn’t even drink. He made that mistake stone cold sober. -Both you and Ratchet need his support right now, not whatever shit he just pulled. -He’s a leader and a father. He can’t ever afford to make a mistake like that again. -But he can’t leave you alone, because he knows Ratchet won’t be here for you. -And he can’t leave Ratchet alone, because he won’t let anyone else near him. -He stares at the wall for the rest of the night.

-The next day, the sparkling sends out it’s first ping, seeking to start it’s nonverbal, psychic bond with it’s sire -Except, it doesn’t send it to it’s sire. -Ratchet’s field had been clamped so tightly around his frame ever since this started you haven’t been able to feel it at all. Naturally, the sparkling had nothing to cling to either. -Instead, it forms a bond with the mech who’s field dragged you in like a riptide -It forms one with Optimus -Neither of you bring this up to Ratchet. You can’t. You both already feel guilty as hell for whatever the fuck that was. -But neither of you can deny the gravitational pull you feel towards each other anymore. -The sparkling starts sending him clips of your voice. Of His voice. -Optimus feels his spark splitting in two both because this tiny little ethereal voice is calling out to him, not Ratchet, and because he can’t answer that tiny voice. -You make tentative plans to put your head through a fucking cheese grater the second this metal baby is out of you.

-Fortunately, that comes sooner than later. -Unfortunately, much like with Bee, the sparkling’s field gets lodged in your brainwaves during emergence, and can’t fully separate -They do finally become untangled once she’s born -But that’s only after your neural activity slows to a crawl when you blackout -NOW it’s coma time, baby.

-Seeing you comotose after giving birth to his sparkling is the last straw for Ratchet -He snaps -Hands the sparkling to Optimus, apologizes, and just leaves. -Optimus is left largely alone and flailing with this sparkling, who is basically recognizing him as her dad. -She repeatedly sends him clips of your voice, her way of asking “Where’s mom? I want mom? I waited so long to see them where’s mom?” -The first thing she blurts out with her primitive vox are the beginning notes to David Bowie’s Diamond Dogs. -Echo seems like a fitting name. He relays this experience and the suggestion to Ratchet. -Ratchet’s optics glaze over. His lip trembles. He unintentionally crushes the cube of hi-grade he’s holding, but agrees. -But beyond that, Ratchet is gone. -Wakes up, attends to any medical issues for the team, then drinks himself to unconsciousness, rinse and repeat. -He is a miserable, drunk old bastard barely fit for duty let alone to be a father -Thank god for Fowler, who’s kept people like Astoria, Carly and Raoul on call for exactly this outcome(He predicted robot fucking would have repercussions, and he was RIGHT) -Astoria takes one look at your comatose body and gets her tubes tied immediately. -They wind up having to take babysitting off base most of the time, though, because Ratchet refuses to be around any humans -Which is why when Jack, Miko and Raf wind up there eventually, he’s less than enthused. -They should leave. They NEED to leave, because he’s only ever hurt things smaller than himself. -Despite this, Raf and Bumblebee manage to still get through to him somehow. -His relationship with Echo, though. -It’s bad. -He can’t even look at her without seeing your face. And Soundwave’s face. And every single cassette he forced into existence.

-Optimus visits you while you slumber. -It’s not often that he can do this, pressure of being a leader. And a father. And now the lone diplomatic relation between cybertronians and humanity, after you decided to take a preemptive dirt nap. -Sometimes he tells you mundane things, like how his day went, how everyone’s doing -He likes to tell you how Bee and Echo are doing. That they’ve gotten along exceedingly well. Their so close in age, that’s to be expected. -But Bee adores her, and she’s aggressively possessive of him -And, when he’s run out of things to say, he’ll thank you. He’ll thank you for saving Bumblebee. For fighting so hard to establish refuge for his people here. For keeping him company. For being his friend. -For letting him love you. -He always chokes up on the last one, and leaves before he can finish, excusing himself from a quiet room and leaving as silently as he came.

-Ratchet visits you too. -A lot -In fact, when he’s not in the infirmary, or his quarters, or drinking in either of those places, he’s here. -But unlike Optimus, he comes up empty for words. -He just watches your unmoving body, and the gentle oscillations of the various monitors hooked up to you -He will say one thing, though, every time. Right before he leaves -It’s always the same thing. -”I’m sorry.”

-While this is going on, you’re busy cavorting around with Elita in the realm of the primes with Rumble and Frenzy -She (lovingly) berates you for not sleeping with her husband, which is a trip in of itself. -In between trials she teaches you how to hop in and out of dreams -Even the nightmarish, extremely unstable ones -So naturally, you dive right into one of Ratchet’s dreams -You’re flooded with every single last thing haunting his mind. -All of it. His history with the medical research. Everything he’s done. -It’s so horrific you can hardly stay for longer than a heartbeat, but- -You fight through the darkness to get to him, unrelenting until you grab his servo -And when you do so, you get to see him. Actual him. The him buried beneath the toxic walls he’s built up. -And that him bleeds nothing but the purest, unconditional love for you. For your sparkling. For Optimus and Bee. -He’s still there. The mech you fell in love with is still there. -He’s just drowning in his own regret and misery with no way out -His anguish is an uncharted mountain and he needs a guide -You’re going to have to be that guide -So with some intense astral fuckery, you drag him him out of his own dream, and Elita drags the both of you into Optimus’s dream.

-Optimus’s dream is more stable. -Thank god it can withstand the emotional shitshow that is the four of you being in the same place -There’s enough angst and self-blame to flood god’s basement -Elita, being dead and all, has even less tolerance for this bullshit then the three living of you combined -She grabs you with one arm and kisses you, and uses the other arm to push Ratchet into Optimus’s lap. -It devolves into a fourway pretty fast -You’re the luckiest human in the fucking universe -Afterwards, Optimus laments how guilty he feels for wanting this. For enjoying this. How bad he feels about wanting you. How much he still wants Ratchet. -He feels like a selfish asshole for pining after you both. You two should be happy together. Why can’t he just be happy for you two while silently drowning in his grief for Elita -Both you, Ratchet and Elita tell him that’s bullshit. -Both you, Ratchet and Elita tell him all of them deserve to be happy. -Elita tells all of you in no uncertain terms if you three don’t find a way to be a thruple IRL she’ll put each and every one of you in a sex coma IRL so help her Primus.

-You wake up. -It’s been 30. Fucking. years. -The first thing you see upon waking up is the last thing you saw before blacking out -Your little girl -She’s taller than a two story townhouse and her optics are the same color as your eyes. -”Welcome back, Mom.” -You can’t even begin to comprehend what you’re seeing -You don’t have time. The next person in the room is Bee, who’s even taller. -He knees down, trembling, warbling, tears in his optics. -”Did you have a nice nap?” -Reader.exe has stopped working -The next person in -Oh -Oh. -It’s Ratchet -Bee and Echo clear out before you can scream at them not to leave, leaving you alone with your estranged boyfriend

-He walks over to you slowly, mouth set in a firm, flat line. -He kneels down beside you, places his hand on the side of the berth -And starts openly weeping. -He’s sorry. He’s sorry for putting you in danger. He’s sorry for knocking you up. he’s sorry for icing you out. He’s sorry for fucking everything and tells you if you had even a shred of self-preservation instinct left in you you’d leave him and never look back and he’d never blame you and- -And you tell him to shut the fuck up. -You kiss him. He smells like highgrade and millennia of repressed guilt and you can’t get enough of it because it’s fucking Ratchet.

-You tell him about the coma. You tell him about all the dreams. You prove it to him by relaying everything about the cassettes. -His face pales further. You decide to (temporarily) withhold information about the dream orgy -You reassure him that where you were and how you got there, you could see shit. You could see the driving force and divine interplay of how bad decisions and poor judgment come to tangle hopelessly together and prompt action like puppeteers through the strings of the livings and you’re absolutely not done which this, but -You still love him. Nothing is ever going to change that. -Dude looks like he was fucking reborn. There’s something so young in those teal searchlights that make you feel like a child again. -For a moment, everything is okay. -He spends the rest of the night with you, never once leaving your side.

-You don’t get a happily ever after yet, though. -You still have two grown-ass children you need to catch up with -One of which doesn’t know you at all. -She’s extremely eager to start a relationship with you though because she’s been looking forward to this her entire life -She might be an adult, but the way she turns her optics on you and listens with rapt attention when literally anything comes out of your mouth makes you feel like you actually got your baby back -She’s utterly fascinated by you and worships the ground you walk on, treating you like some sort of beloved idol or storybook character come to life -It’s cute for now and probably not the healthiest reaction but that is by no means your biggest concern, because -Echo and Ratchet’s relationship is terrible -You can’t even call it a relationship -She’s got daddy issues out the aft -Blames him for everything that happened to you, which he happily reinforced with his self-depreciating lifestyle -Bee also low-key blames Ratchet for taking his mom away. He understand it’s not his fault, it was an accident, but you were gone for 30 years. -Echo is absurdly attached to the gaggle of humans that raised them, even more so than Bee. -She’s even more attached to Optimus, follows him around like a lost puppy and craves his approval -Which isn’t that hard to earn because he adores her. -He struggles with her grudge against her biological sire, though. Because no matter what he’s never found it in himself to blame Ratchet, and has tried, to little avail, to turn her towards him. -She’s shown considerable proficiency in medicine, but refuses to study it seriously because it’s what “that guy” does and FUCK “That guy”. -You know it’s not entirely your responsibility to fix her and Bee’s opinion of Ratchet -But it’s an enormous fucking mess and the burden’s going to be way easier if shared

-You go to Optimus for help -Because, aside from the humans, he’s the one who basically raised these two. -Alone -That cannot have possibly been easy -That cannot have possibly left him without some damage -He’s been kind, but distant ever since you awakened -Seems to be reluctant to speak to you alone -But once you have him alone, he breaks down -Sweeps you up in his hands -begs you to just let him hold you -He missed you. He missed you so fucking bad -He never told Ratchet about the time you two merged. Or the bond he formed with Echo because of it -Or the kiss -The guilt that comes over his face when bringing this up breaks your heart -You can’t take it anymore

-You go to Ratchet -You tell him about the dream in blinding detail -He looks like he’s watching a slow motion train crash when you bring it up, but he remembers every last vivid bit as though it were yesterday -Admits it was the happiest he’d ever been and waking up felt like getting kicked out of heaven -Admits he never actually wanted to break up with Optimus -Admits those feelings resurfaced when you were sick and Optimus was the only one he’d let anywhere near him -Admits that made him feel even worse because you were fucking dying -Probes you for your feelings for Optimus -This time you break -Fall to your knees and start fucking sobbing -You’ve loved this mech ever since you first laid eyes on him -Ever since fate determined you’d bring that tiny yellow sparkling from the brink of death -Being apart from him makes you feel like a plant without water. You’re shriveling up and drying out. -You need him. You don’t want to be apart anymore. -You tell Ratchet about the merge. The bond. The kiss. -Ratchet looks about as relived as he does devastated -Relived, because you want Optimus as badly as he still does -Devastated because he made himself physically unavailable for Echo to form that bond -He knows forming that bond with Optimus was probably the best thing that could have possibly happened to her at the time -But he also knows it happened because he fucked up and continued to fuck up for thirty whole ass years and his daughter wants nothing to do with him and it’s completely his fault -You tell him as kindly as possible, that yeah, he’s right, but also to shut the fuck up. -If she knew what he’d been through, she’d understand. -It’s gonna take a long time and a whole lot of work, but it’s not too late to fix this. -It’s also not too late to fix things with Optimus, and that probably won’t take as much work

-Since that’s the easier of the two tasks by far, that’s the one you guys start with -Both you and Ratchet corner him in the infirmary after he comes back from a mission a little banged up -Tell him in plain fucking english you both remember the dream, both want him romantically and carnally, both willing to move mountains to make this work, and if you don’t want Elita to make good on her threat you’d better sort this shit out now -Optimus doesn’t need any further convincing -Fucks you both till you see Primus and pass out.

-Now that you’ve made headway on sorting your relationship shit out, -It’s time to start sorting the parenting shit out -With the three of you working together, it’s a lot less overwhelming -Bee, emotionally mature as he is, winds up working through his grievances with Ratchet pretty easily -He never wanted to hold a grudge against him to begin with, and was pretty eager to drop it when given sufficient reason -That, and the fact that his dad, (who he’d been goading to confess to for years) has finally hooked up with his mom makes him pretty happy. -Echo is far less easy to appease -For a while, it actually gets worse, since she’s jealous of the time you and Optimus spend with Ratchet -But because of the time you’re spending together, it makes it harder for her to avoid him

-She asks you one day “what the frag you could possibly see in him” while she’s simultaneously re-calibrating the ground bridge resonance controls and running an experimental distillation on synthetic red energon -Staring stupidly with your mouth open at the similarities, you tell her -”Right now, I see you. Goddamn you’re just like him.” -She snaps her wrench in half, growls and kicks the shards across the room. -“Like him? I can’t fraggin’ stand him!” -You sigh. “He can’t stand himself either.” -She makes a face like she knows you have a point but isn’t willing to admit it even to herself, and that’s the exact same face Ratchet made when you told him you wanted to keep her.

-She finally approaches Ratchet the next day -Just walks up to him while he’s in the lab, drags a stool over and sits down -”So apparently we both hate ourselves” -Ratchet stops what he’s doing. -“What could you possibly hate yourself for?” -”Besides the obvious?” “-What obvious-?” “I’m the reason mom was in a coma.” -Ratchet drops his wrench. And his jaw -Tries to tell her that’s bullshit. -She won’t let him get a word in edgewise -”And I know you hate yourself for that too.” -He doesn’t even try to deny that one -”Hating you for the same reason I hate myself makes it easier to hate myself. And I…don’t want to hate myself anymore.” -Ratchet.exe has stopped working -She tells him she has absolutely not forgiven him for being practically non-existent in her life, and she’s not sure if she ever will but- -Maybe she doesn’t have to, to move on. -Maybe they can acknowledge this as a massive-ass problem that will keep coming back and never fully be resolved -And maybe they can move forward despite it -And despite both of them trying exceedingly hard not to be, they’ve wound up extremely similar, so -Maybe learning not to hate themselves will be easier if they do it together. -She tells him in spite of everything she still wants to like him. So bad. -Ratchet finally stops, and turns to look at her. -She’s gritting her denta, digging her digits into the side of the seat so hard it cracks, and holding back tears. -He tells her, after several tries to get his mouth working again, that he wants to give her a reason to like him. -”Yeah well-” she shakily pries her servos off the seat, jumps down, picks up his wrench and hands it back to him. “I guess we have the rest of our lives to figure that out.” -Her hands brush his as she hands the wrench back, and for the first time, she doesn’t recoil or jerk them away. -She leaves -He stands there for a whole thirty seconds after she leaves staring at the wrench before setting it down on the desk -Then putting his helm down on the desk -And starts crying harder in relief then he’s ever cried in his life

[fatuismooches]

I've hopped on major angst train, which is sad, but someone has to make yall sad after tooth-rotting fluff, hehe hehe, but I saw HC of some harbingers reacting to their s/o being executed by Raiden and it gave me an idea

Basically, imagine Harbingers causing their s/o's near death experience with their actions

Such as: Childe's s/o almost dying when Osial attacked Liyue. Look, he was sure you're in safety, but in reality? You're too much of a kind soul, so you were helping people to save themselves, while also putting yourself in danger. Maybe you almost drowned from Osial's attacks or got caught in crossfire, either way you almost died

Scara's s/o being targeted by Fatui after Scara himself ran away with Gnosis. No matter how hard he tries to hide then away, Fatui never forget and forgive traitors. They won't calm down until they get both of you. You might be strong, maybe even a vision holder, but it's not enough...

Or his s/o being a Harbinger and the one who dies in Tenshukakku. Imagine him interrupting your duel with Traveler and escaping together. Scara curses you for being an idiot, but he's actually so so happy he made it in time.

Or... If he was a few seconds late and arrived to witness your death. I imagine that after he erased himself from Irminsul and regained his memories, the first thing Scara did - checked what happened to you, but reader is still dead

WTF ANON I'M IN TEARS 😭😭 Childe would be the most hurt definitely. He was reluctant to awaken Osial in the first place because getting regular people involved wasn't his style. So when he sees you hurt because of his actions he can't help but feel terrible. After helping you recover with the best of doctors he may even try to leave you. Not because he doesn't love you but because he genuinely can't bear to see you hurt, especially because of his line of work. He can't quit the Fatui, but he can still protect you... just in the shadows this time :(

Well for Scara... man that'd be scary lol. To be on the run for that long. He hopes that when he becomes a God, the Fatui will no longer be able to threaten you since one does not dare to challenge a God. But you get hurt anyway :( And he's absolutely enraged of course and wishes he could leave the robot to kill the person himself. But this just encourages him to hurry up and ascend to godhood already. Though when that fails he can't help but feel a bit helpless. Since now you are the one taking care of him, but at least Nahida has taken you under her protection as well. After he erases himself from Irminsul though, hopefully things change and the Fatui are no longer after you, since he no longer exists. And that is a price he is willing to pay for your safety.

Oh boy. He'd tell you to not go near the Raiden Shogun under any circumstances but you were dragged into it anyway. When he can't find you at the agreed meeting place he instantly knows where you've gone and for once he feels panic. This Raiden Shogun was not Ei, she has no mercy. But he has no problem confronting her anyway. Seeing the Traveler's shocked but irritated expression was also a treat. I wonder if the Raiden Shogun (puppet) would recognize him? I'm not sure if it was stated in-game. (Can't believe it's been 2 years since Inazuma 😭)

Scara would wonder if the Gnosis was really worth your death (it wasn't he finds out very quickly) + despise his creator so much more than he already did. He can only hope that he'll meet you again one day, and that you'd forgive him for his idiocy.

Can't wait to add Arlecchino to this list😧🧍‍♀️Focalors doesn't seem like the Archon to play around tbh😭 I've been really thinking about why the Oceanids don't like her...

[toothlesshat]

I honestly think 2012 aprils character was the most likeable during season 1

I know in the first episode her whole purpose was to be a damsel in distress but it was pretty clear with her bold and spiky personality that she was supposed to become a strong female lead who could ultimately stand up for herself

And I think they mostly pulled it of well with her being just an untrained and inexperienced fighter

I mean you had scenes where she clearly needed the turtles help to finish the job but could get herself well enough to safety like that one time with the robot lady attacking her at school idk which episode it is tho but later on in the season she was able to get rid of karai following her

Like the karai

Like the karai, professional kunoichi trained BY THE SHREDDER

And I can't even call it bullshit logic or Mary Sue powers bc she doesn't even come out of the situation unharmed (at least if I remember correctly) and is clearly shown to be unable to beat karai in a one on one battle and thus had to result in using her quick thinking and the agility she learned in training to escape her

And also she had some little quirks in the first season as well like the time where she went around town pretending to be an undercover cop or smth and then kinda really badly failing while doing so?? And the multiple times she pretended to be some delivery guy bringing pizza or some boxes just to help the turtles with their missions??? And people don't talk about her mad yoyoing skills, like?!?

She literally had so much untapped personality and it makes me so sad that in the end she got mostly reduced to the love interest girl with powers and every evil villain wants her because of whatever reason

If the writers had continued to built on her existing traits from the first season, hell if they at least KEPT these traits like they did to all the other characters, she would've become much more of a memorable character and hey maybe people would even LIKE her or at least CARE for her character development, but as the show went on these traits just kinda disappeared

She could've been such a cute April but in the end she just wasn't it

Thx for reading my tedtalk and sorry for it being so long gotta rant

I think untapped potential is the best way to describe 2012 April. I feel like there’s some really solid ideas in the first season about who she is, what she wants and what she needs to become that just… don’t go anywhere, or we don’t get the proper development to justify her suddenly reaching her goals, if that makes sense? Like it really weirds me out how they treat her becoming a kunoichi like it was this thing about her getting accepted into the family but they rarely showed her having a real relationship with any of the Hamatos?? I honestly can’t tell you how she feels about Leo, Raph or Mikey, but the show wants me to think they’re best friends without dedicating the time to it when there was DEFINITELY time for it.

Normally I wouldn’t complain about fighting styles because idk fuck all about them but idk it is weird that she can only kick ass when the plot says she can, but 90% of the time she needs the turtles to save her. And even more frustrating, she’s always mad when they do save her, but we keep being told she’s not ready to fight on her own so why are they having her tell the audience that the turtles are wrong for stepping in and- GOD it’s inconsistent and it makes me so mad. Like pick a damn side because it just makes her sound mean for no reason!

[thelastbraincellofthehive]

Volume 2 Is done! Man this Is the one with my second favorite opening <3 It's just so epic it pumps my blood!

Anyways, thoughts with no order whatsoever!

Emmerald is another of those characters I love to see the progression of. We must protect. Emmerald baby you're insuferable and you deserve the world<3

Burning the candle is the moment <3 that was when we knew. It was also the moment Yang was cemented as my fave and she never stopped being it, props to Barbara for that classroom scene, it holds a special place in my heart.

As a side note, I can't think about Burning the Candle without remembering Explosivesky's Hollywood AU <3 that fanfic is on another level. Even during my angry-about-Penny era, I would read it from time to time because it's that awesome fg

Glynda and Ironwood's talk is one of my favorite scenes in the volume. Honestly, I miss Glynda, Glynda is a badass.

Cardin bullying Velvet makes so little sense after meeting CFVY lmao! Like, you expect me to believe Coco, Yatsuhashi and Fox didn't beat those idiots to a pulp just for existing around her?! How?! How are they alive?!!!

Also while we're on the CFVY note... Coco please step on me, please.

I will keep believing that Summer, Taiyang and Raven were in a poly relationship for the rest of my life, that's just how my brain works. Don't try to change it.

While on the STRQ note... Raven is a bitch but she can also step on me anytime she wants, thank you.

Seriously Penny being a robot being a 'secret' will never not be funny lol!

"I don't really know how to... Girls" Jaune, honey, so true 🙌 me neither honestly.

Neo <3 God how I've missed you you tiny tricolor sociopath! Honestly, she and Roman will be one of my OTPs forever

Also do you guys know Chuuya Nakahara from BSD? Look at him and tell me he is not Roman and Neo's child. Seriously.

Speaking of OTPs, you know what my NOTP for Weiss has always been? Neptune... Like, I'm not part of the 'Weiss is a lesbian' train...but god why is that ship so boring? So glad that never went anywhere

Also I am on the 'Neptune is gay train'... Like... It just makes so much more sense...

The JNPR dance™ Iconic, perfect, just one of the many reasons I was hoping for another Dance/Ball down the line in the story.

Speaking of Iconic: The. Food. Fight. Just that. What a way to start the season.

Watching this volume really makes me miss Pyrrha... Not just her as a character which I do miss she is awesome in every sense BUT HER FIGHTING STYLE!!! God fights with her were always such a treat to the eye!!

James Ironwood, I had so much hope for you, but I get why your story progressed the way it did. The signs were everywhere now that I look into it.

Ozpin's 'I hope they never have to (win a war)' and 'right now they're only children, it's not a role they will have forever' hurt so fucking much...

Jaune has listened to Weiss singing. I feel the unexplicable need to know in which context this happened. Does Weiss sing while studying? Did they had some kind of recital? Did they go karaoke-ing on a missing scene? Is Weiss secretly a popstar who's writting songs about her partners and travels and Jaune owns one of her albums??? Yes I'm still into that dumb headcanon lol.

Jaune wearing a dress:

I hope more boys wore dresses, boys in dresses are awesome.

ZWEI!!!! Also cat blake lmao

Roman and Cinder scenes were always a treat to watch, look at my two dumb villains who share one single braincell with Neo and she has it 99% of the time. I really had such a great time with villains in the early seasons. Also, once v3 happened Neo took the cell hostage and Cinder hasn't seen it ever since. makes sense.

Yang's dance dress missing it's pattern is another thing that will never not be funny to me lol poor girl was stuck dressed as an extra!

The Oobleck Zwei combo fight is one of the best things ever lol always one of my favorite parts when watching reactors lol.

Team CFVY, my beloved<3 I hope we get to see more of them in the Vaccuo arc. Bring us the return of Caffeine!!!!!

Weiss' Ice flower to shield the team from the train crash is still one of my favorite moments of her. Weiss excels at the support mage role in her team, and it always delights me seeing her taking care of her team <3 they're the family my girl needed.

I've seen so many critic viewers complain about thr girls leaving Yang fighting Neo because it was clearly a bad match (which doesn't make sense because it literally was the first time we saw her fighting????) But honestly, it wouldn't had made sense any other way. Yang had some kind of personal vendetta against Neo at this point, just like Blake had against Roman. I get the logic conclusions, but characters in the heat of the moment don't usually get to logic conclusions before acting. They are friends, they trust eachother, they had no reason to fight any other way.

I gotta give a shout out to the v2 soundtrack. I love every soundtrack of this series, but v2 is supperb in every sense. Sacrifice is still on my Top3 songs in general (War and Smile being the other 2 and Miracle barely behind). Boop? Amazing, unparalled, that's how you take a beloved character and ship and give them an anthem. Dream come true is just lovely, Jaune, I wished you had seen it sooner... Caffeine? I listened to that song non-stop for a month after I first saw the finale, and it's still that awesome~ All our days holds a very special place in my heart because I used to sing it to my niece to sleep when she was a baby, and it's just the perfect Yang to Ruby song yes I know it's Jeff to Casey and Taiyang to the girls, but it will always be Yang to Ruby for me.

Raven is such an interesting character to me. It's said personality influences semblances or the other way around, and hers is a way to check on her family no matter how far away she is... We're missing so much about her story.

Anyways, that's all for today! Join us next time to take a trip for PTSDland with V3! Damn that Volume seriously traumatized the whole FNDM, and keeps doing it lol

[huevobuevo]

Okai so apparently splatoon 3 is grippin my dopamine deprived brain with the strength of a blue collar middle age irish immigrant on his last 30 minute cigarette/lunch break SO i made some splatoon aus with. Essentialy every single piece of media i could think of.

If you’re interested good fucking luck

A SPACE ODYSSEY because why not

Set in Alterna where instead of Grizzco the regular squid government (??) sends down a small team to investigate the crater. Same thing as in the original ASO story where they’re aware of Alterna’s existence but they hide it from David & Frank honestly they dont know much about it either LMAOOOO‼️ theyre hopin to uncover old human technology to make better Machines i Guess‼️‼️‼️ Hal & Sal are either gonna be Hologram AI’s that were created by a human scientist to watch over Alterna OR sea cucumbers. The Sea Cucumber Route would be where Hal was sent by the squid government™️ to look over the Discovery team (as usual). The hologram route is cooler but also i REALLY like the idea of David, just a regular octoling, falling inlove with Hal, a sea cucumber, a littler guy, a silly goofy, a teensy eepsy, etc. etc. THERES ALSO another version where Hal & Sal are the first android Idols created by Dr Chandra to develop a NEW kinda Funk And Groove or whatevas!!!! They’re both octoling-robots and im still figurin out their style of music but uh ya :]]]]]

THE STANLEY PARABLE

Mainly im just. Inlove with the idea of The Narrator being like a giant Zapfish (maybe THE Great Zapfish) and it all kinda goes to his head. He’s an Idol with his style of music being similar to that of Damp Socks (jazz but make the time signature insane). His producer is Employee 432/Settings Person whose either a jellyfish or sea cucumber (kinda leanin towards jellyfish since theyre the main ones behind the Idol’s development teams but we need more sea cucumbers imo <33 ). Stanley is an inkling who, in his youth, was a part of a professional turf war team. His main weapon was OBVIOUSLY the trislosher. As he got older he retired from turf wars and got just a regular ol office job- until he found himself stuck in recon. The Stanley Parable & Ultra Deluxe is basically The Narrator trying to figure out the perfect game mode & map just intime for the new splatfest while Stanley tries to escape this hell of a map. Im thinking of their backstory. Like maybe Stanley being a part of the Squidbeak Splatoon and the Narrator being the zapfish you save?? But idk if that’ll stick since ill either have to make them both children or Stanley/Agent Three would’ve applied as an adult.

RESIDENT EVIL

the one that makes me insane. Its sorta following an alternative path where Umbrella is a company that helps sponsor and host Turf Wars, and after Team Order wins the final Splatfest for Splatoon 2 Umbrella uses this as ignition to take over the Splatlands. So now we have a dystopian hella swag alterna-like city that’s closed off from the splatlands where shits just fucked. ANEYWAYS im still thinkin bout the idols but i moght be stupid and just makem the Weskers

PORTAL

This is Octo-Expansion but spicy. Gods the VIBES between Kamabo Co. & Aperture Science is SOOO 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞‼️‼️‼️‼️ ya same thing applies, GLaDOS is a giant AI whose blendin up fish people BUT THIS TIME her main goal isnt to goop up the world. Unlike Tartar she LOVES to just sit in her little autistic corner and torture people, so she mainly uses the goop from failed test subjects to go up to the surface and kidnap folks-one of them being an Octoling called Chell, who was on her way to the surface after hearing the Calamari Inkantation. Instead of the Squidbeak Splatoon & Off The Hook accompanying her, she has the help of the train conductor Wheatley (yes hes going to be a hermit crab.) & a trio of musicians who are trying to reach the surface as well. The band consists of Hook (Rick; a salmonling) Line (Fact Core; an octoling) & Sinker (Space Core; an inkling)! GLaDOS takes the form of a long robotic eel using material from the testing stations- her weakpoints in the final battle are actually those god forsaken green crates! Good luck with that buddy! Of course near the end Wheatley betrays you as usual, still workin on the kinks for the main storyline + cave johnson’s whole deal. Once you escape however Hook Line & Sinker will become the new idols for the Splatlands/Inkopolis! They become a fan favorites quickly, their choice of music being a mix of hyperpop & breakcore with an astronomy theme <333 ALSO the other cores are sanitized octolings/inklings/salmonlings that were dragged down into Aperture Labs

LITTLE NIGHTMARES

JIPPEEE!!! Here an inkling & octoling (Six & Mono) are lost in an underwater city after accidentally boarding the Deep Sea Metro. Its kind of a mix of Octo Expansion & Little Nightmares 2 where they both have to complete various challenges created by the two idols of the city- that being The Lady & Thin Man. Their style of music is similar to Deep Cut but im imagining more bass ??? Like?? Im thinkin of GHOST’s Solaria / Aura vibes, yakno??

ALSO I HAVE SPECIFIC TYPES OF MARINE ANIMALS FOR CERTAIN CHARACTERS JIPPEE!! :3

PORTAL

- Space Core; Caribbean Reef Squid

- Fact Core; Glowing Sucker Octopus

- Rick; Sockeye Salmon

- Chell; Firefly Squid

SPACE ODYSSEY

- Hal9000; either a Blanket Octopus or a Chromodoris Quadricolor Sea Slug

- Sal9000; either a Blanket Octopus or a Blue Velvet Sea Slug

RESIDENT EVIL

- Rebecca Chambers; either a Remora or Nurse Shark

- Billy Coen; Tiger Shark

- Jill Valentine; Color Tip Reef Anemone

- Albert & Alex Wesker; Collosal Squids

- Excella Gionne; Anguilla/European Eel

- Nicholai Ginovaef; Zebra Octopus

- Sherry Birkin; Dumbo Octopus :]

- Alcina Dimitrescu; Vampire Squid (duh)

- Karl Heisenberg; Dogfish

- Donna Beneviento; Bubbletip Anemone

- Angie Beneviento; clownfish HAH

- Mother Miranda & Eveline; Anglerfish

- The Bakers; Rainbow Trout

LITTLE NIGHTMARES

- Raincoat Girl, Six & The Lady; Magnapinna Squid

- Mono & The Thin Man; Blanket Octopus

- Runaway Kid; Blue Ringed Octopus

- The Pretender; Crown Jelly

- Flashlight Girl; Cookie Cutter Shark

- the whole ass baby; ze baby jelly

- The Crackheads; Goblin Shark. what else

- The Teacher; nurse shark

(still researchin different types of sea critters for this au!)

[helenaheissner]

A Dream of Summer Rain: You Are the Hole in My Head (Chapter 23)

Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)

Don't forget you can read twenty chapters ahead on this story, three chapters ahead on "Love During Robot Fighting Time", as well as two chapters ahead on "Magical Girl Exorcist Squad", by becoming a paid subscriber on my Substack or my Patreon!

***

After a day spent training, Lacy’s arms were heavy as lumber, and moving her legs was like dragging a forest behind her. It was the good kind of sore, a day’s labor in a worthwhile pursuit, filling her with endorphins and keeping her mind clear. Sweating and covered in dirt, she marched back into the empty hotel room and showered, relieved as the warm water soothed the aches and pains. 

When she got out, Isabella had returned to their room. “Hey,” Isabella said. “Training?”

“Yeah. Feels great.”

“You look exhausted.”

“Side effect.” Lacy plugged in Isabella’s hair dryer. “What have you been up to today?”

“Meetings with the hunters, helping to coordinate our plans of attack. It was… It was like going to the dentist. Or like being a dentist. Or like being a dentist performing oral surgery on yourself.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Dear God, yes. It’s been decades since the Guild planned any kind of joint assault of more than ten people. It’s not in our nature- we tend to keep to ourselves, stay silent and stay in the dark. That way if the Sovereignty or any kind of government captures us, nobody knows too much and nobody can reveal too much. The problem with that is it makes everyone wicked accustomed to getting their own way all the time.”

“Ugh.”

“Anyway. We’ve got one more night off before the operation kicks into high gear and we start preparing to ship out. Anything you wanna do? I mean, I don’t really know what people do for fun in Peoria, but we can look for something.”

Lacy blushed as she began brushing out her hair, hoping the mirror didn’t betray too much. “Yeah. That sounds fantastic.” 

“Why don’t I shower and then we can go find somewhere to get dinner?” Isabella asked. 

“Yeah,” Lacy said. 

Isabella showered, and they went to dinner together at a classically styled diner. They ate burgers and fries and milkshakes, they talked about music and their hometowns and about transitioning. When the check came, they both reached to pay for it, hands resting on top of each other. Confidence surged through Lacy as they left the diner, and as they passed the geysers, Lacy saw something out of the corner of her eye: the arctic fox, trotting happily down the street. 

No, Lacy thought, I’m not letting anything interfere with tonight.

Lacy turned around and faced Isabella. The other girl hesitated, but Lacy leaned in, got on her tip-toes, and kissed her. Isabella flinched, but soon melted into her.

And then a thought entered Lacy’s head, one she knew wouldn’t leave her until it was either acted upon or suppressed with copious alcohol. And given the day’s previous conversation, the latter option appealed to her even less than usual. And so she said, “Wanna go back to our room for a bit? Put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door?”

Isabella’s mouth opened, and she blinked, and she bit her lower lip. 

For a moment, all that Lacy’s mind held was terror and shame. 

But then Isabella stood up and smiled, and nodded. 

Lacy led the way. 

It was a long night. Much of it was awkward and slow, interrupted by long stretches of speech and instruction and reassurance, but they always got back around to where they meant to go and reached their intended destinations. More than once. Finally, they laid together in bed, tangled up in each other. Lacy stared at the ceiling fan as it rotated, basking in the afterglow, wondering if Isabella felt half as good as she did. 

“How was I?” Isabella asked. 

“You were fantastic,” Lacy said. 

“Ah, you’re just saying that.”

“No, no honestly that was amazing! That was incredible! That was… You’re fishing for compliments.”

“I mean, yeah.”

“At least you’re honest about it.”

“You were great too, by the way,” Isabella said. 

“Ah, no way.”

“No, really, you were.”

“I… Uh… Thanks.”

“Why are you being so- oh.”

“Oh?”

“That was your first time, wasn’t it?”

Lacy detached from their interlock and raised the blankets over herself. 

“I see,” Isabella said. She joined Lacy under the covers, pressed her forehead against Lacy’s. Lacy’s heart caught on the edge of a beat, refusing to move. “Well I’m telling you that you did pretty well for yourself, and I’ve had some prior experience. Not a ton, but still.”

Lacy kissed her. Isabella kissed her back. 

And then Isabella cracked like a glass and fell apart. Lacy screamed; everything around her began to break apart and fall away into an empty abyss of pitch black. Lacy fell through, fell and fell and fell, until a solid sheet of glass stretching into infinity appeared beneath her. She slammed into it, pain hammering her and jolting her awake as the whole of reality shattered. 

Once more, she was back in the hotel room, lying in her own bed, flat on her back. A small, hairless monstrosity laid drooling on her chest. Lacy screamed as the creature’s claws reached into her skin, but she grabbed it by the ankle and slammed it into the wall, shattering all its bones. 

Bent over, breathing through her mouth, wide-eyed, she looked around her.

Isabella was gone. In her place was another one of those creatures, wandering around the bed looking confused. Lacy grabbed it and killed it, screaming all the while. She called out for Isabella, but found nothing. Her bags were here, but her duster and World-Carver were both gone along with her. It was as if she’d just… Vanished. 

We were on our date, Lacy thought, going through the last solid memory she had, one with scents and sensations attached to it. Everything after that was a blur, a very hot and sweaty blur. We were passing the geysers. I saw the fox. I turned around.

I turned around and she…

She… 

She was holding World-Carver. Like she was ready to fight. 

And she was pointing it at me. 

What the hell?

Lacy ran her hands through her hair, trying to process everything, when a hideous cry of destruction rang throughout the city outside. She went over to the window and looked. Chaos was a bramble bush around downtown Peoria, gripping it tight with its tangled mass of thorned tendrils. Buildings burned, and people ran in the streets screaming for their lives. They were chased by men and women with fangs and claws and red eyes, some of whom were on all fours, some of whom had faces extended and mangled and warped, some of whom resembled reanimated bat flesh stitched across a human skeleton. They fought with guns and knives and claws and fangs, and some of them, the ones who still looked mostly human, with staves. Staves made of solid purple light. A building disintegrated until there was nothing but dust scattering in the swell of wind and sound amidst the raging crowd. She could not see it, could not hear it, but she knew Alistair was here. 

Isabella-

A knocking came upon her door, frantic and desperate. Lacy gulped, twitched, then slowly walked up the door. She looked through the porthole, and saw Danny on the other side. 

Lacy opened the door, grabbed her friend by the lapel, and pulled him inside the room. He was nearly acquainted with the floor before stumbling back into his balance.

“What’s going on?” Lacy said in a severe whisper. 

“Besides the obvious?” Danny said, pointing to the window. He turned his head back to Lacy, then did a rapid double-take. “Gwen- wait, where’s Isabella?”

We were at the geysers, and when I turned around- “I have no idea.”

“What? What the hell does that mean?”

Lacy grimaced. When I turned around, she’d drawn her sword. “It means I have no idea. She was gone when I woke up, and then I looked out the window and saw all this shit!”

Danny blinked rapidly, pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbed his forehead. He’d been drinking- Lacy could smell it on him. “How the fuck does that happen?!” he said.

“I have no idea!” Lacy said. She was aiming at me. “But if I had to guess I’d say it’s connected to the Sovereignty of it all. Alistair is here- I can feel it. You said something about Gwen? Where are she and Quentin and Joshua?”

“Out there with the other hunters. They’ve dropped the pretense for the time being, and are trying to fight off the ghouls, help the cops and all that stuff. Let’s just get out of here. We should catch up to Gwen, and figure out what she needs us to do.”

“No,” Lacy said. 

“No? What’d ya mean no?”

Lacy tapped her hand to her chest, and her Star came lighting forth. It shot through the room and situated itself in front of the door. Lacy followed it, opened the door, and went out into the hallway. 

“That’s it? That’s your plan?” Danny called after her in a half-shout half-whisper. 

“For now. You coming?” Aiming at me. Trying to kill me. 

She received an annoyed grunt in response. Followed by his footsteps catching up to hers. 

Lacy heard distantly the terrified occupants of the hotel, the civilians who had not gone out into the fight. They were in their rooms, hiding in terror, waiting for someone to fix this, to save them. The Star led them downstairs to the ground floor, out into the deserted lobby. Nobody was there, not even the staff. They must’ve either retreated upstairs or decided to take their chances outside and see if they could get out of the city. 

“Should we barricade the place?” Lacy asked aloud. 

“What if we need to get back in here?”

“Good point. Let’s move.”

The night air was dry and hot, the stars mostly blotted out by the city’s light pollution. The rich, earthy scent of Peoria washed over everything, even the massive amounts of spilt blood. The blue Star lunged forth into the city, up the street north of the hotel. Lacy ran after it, her arms and legs stiff from the day’s exertions, her chest heaving up and down as she made herself go faster and faster and faster. Danny, with his longer legs, kept pace more easily, his mildly diminished sense of balance the only impediment. 

They made it to a four-way intersection. From the right, three teenagers, two boys and a girl, ran through in terror. They were pursued by four ghouls, two on the more human end of the spectrum, the others walking on their hands and growling. 

Lacy planted her feet on the pavement. She held her hands up flat-palmed, pulled them back, and then pushed forward while screaming, “Faerie Wind!”

The wind coalesced around her hands and shot forward, all the air pressurizing and launching at the oncoming ghouls in a continued, thunderous assault. The more monstrous ones found their skin breaking and tearing in the sharp onslaught as Lacy forced more power into her tunnel, creating columns of wind like swords flying directly at her opponents. All four ghouls went tumbling backwards down the street, and Lacy chased after them. She jumped onto the nearest one and planted her knife in the creature’s forehead. 

Another ghoul lunged at her, this one more human. It was male, with a head full of white hair and tan skin riddled with wind-scars. He swung a clawed hand at Lacy, who side-stepped and pivoted around the ghoul before jabbing her knife again. It landed in the ghoul’s chest, and she withdrew it quickly, but it didn’t register. The ghoul didn’t even flinch. 

Lacy pulled backwards and dodged the flurry of strikes from the ghoul. She reached for her Star, for more wind. Lacy jumped while using a burst of wind to shove against the ground and gain a small measure of altitude. As she fell, she landed on the ghoul and plunged her knife into its face, killing it. 

Another ghoul, this one on all-fours, charged at her, tackling her and pinning her to the ground. The size of this one’s ears was enormous, which reminded Lacy of something. Fighting off its fangs and claws searching for food, she searched for soundwaves, and when she found the high-pitched shrieking of car tires. She grabbed hold of it and stretched it over the street, using her free hand to wrap it around the ghoul’s ears like a ribbon. The ghoul screamed as the sound drilled into its ears. Lacy used her knife to put it out of its misery. 

Her shoulders heaved up and down, and she breathed slowly. 

Footsteps pounded nearby her, to her left, just beyond her peripheral vision. She spun, but not quickly enough. The final ghoul, female, human-looking, was upon her with claws closing in. She swung. A knife cascaded through the air and landed in the side of her skull. Lacy looked and saw Danny approaching her at a hurried clip. Lacy gave him the thumbs up. “I impress even myself sometimes,” Danny said, patting Lacy on the shoulder. 

The three teeneagers stood in the intersection, in shock and awe at what they’d witnessed. 

“Go to the hotel down the street,” Lacy said to them quietly as she approached. “There will be places to hide in there, empty rooms. Lay low until this blows over.”

“This will blow over?” the girl said. 

“Yes. I’ll make sure of it,” Lacy said.

“Thank you, sir,” another of the girls said. 

“I’m a girl!” Lacy screamed as they ran away giving her strange looks. 

“Where to now?” Danny asked, handing Lacy a sidearm from the inner pocket of his denim jacket. 

Lacy’s Star shot down the street in the direction the ghouls had come from. Lacy shrugged and began to chase after it, Danny close behind. 

She tried to kill me. The fox was trying to warn me. 

Trusted her. Let her in.

She’s been working with Alistair this whole time- she led him here, told him when we’d be at the school, put that thing on my chest. One of those dream-eaters Gwen told me about, a mara- her mom’s side of the family. They’re all here, and Isabella has been working for them! They ran into the cacophony, through rubble and wreckage and carnage, the Star guiding them. Two blocks in, they came upon two ghouls armed with guns, and sniped them from afar, one bullet apiece. They ran further in, and found a stock of collided cars forming a barricade outside a bank. Four ravenous, decayed ghouls bayed for blood outside the barricade, while a more intact leader stood at the center. She saw Lacy and Danny approach, and she snapped her fingers. A police baton made of purple light appeared in her hands. 

Lacy could spare another bullet. But only one more- she wanted the rest in reserve, just in case. So she listened once again to the swelling noise of the city and parsed through it for individual sound strands, plucking a distant string of dogs whining and pulling it towards the ghouls, corralling them with it. 

They all shrieked and fell, and Lacy pulled the trigger on her gun and watched the leader-ghoul’s brains decorate her troops. She ran forward then, knife in hand, to dispatch the rest of then, Danny joining her quickly thereupon. 

“We should make sure the people inside are okay,” Lacy said, chest heaving. Offensive sound-magic was still exhausting; she needed to use it more sparingly. And train with it more once this was over. Seeing into the future, are we now? “I hear at least seven heartbeats, most of them panicking.”

“Alright, let’s hop to it then,” Danny said, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his forearm. 

They climbed over the cars, and Lacy fell seven feet down onto the pavement. 

She opened the wooden door, walked into the lobby to find that there were not seven people hiding inside. There was only one single person, armed with a radio from the 1940s, playing a sixfold pulse of mortal terror. 

The bank had a tile floor and teller’s windows on the right-hand side, and carpeted on the left where the cubicles and computers lived. In one of those cubicles was a woman in her late fifties, clad in a black pencil skirt and a long-sleeved, Jupiter-green silk blouse. Makeup immaculate as always, brown hair bound in a large, high bun not revealing a speck of gray. Her heels clicked on the tile floor as she walked into the center of the room, arms folded behind her back. Lacy stopped in the middle of the lobby, confoundment burning her insides like kindling. For a moment, all the noise vanished, and the silence was hideous instead of relaxing. “Mrs… Mrs. Woodrow?” Lacy stammered. 

“Hello, Lacy,” Danny’s mother said. “It’s lovely to see you again.”

“But… But…”

The sheer bafflement dulled her senses momentarily. She didn’t notice Danny behind her until he was pressing the barrel of his gun against the back of her skull and lowering the hammer. “I’m sorry about this,” Danny said. 

“What the hell is going on?” Lacy said, barely audible. 

She heard Danny thump his own chest, and a red ball of light rose from the air behind her and began to dance around the bank lobby, keeping pace with her own Star. 

“My Destiny,” Danny said. 

The fox didn’t warn her this time. 

[keeper-of-gates]

Poptropica; the pinnacle of creating stories to wreak a kid via emotional principles that caused a domino effect on my writing and unhealthy connections with characters.

Reasons include;

1. I never recovered from Monster Carnival and I hope raven gets a good ending when they release the island again. My man deserves so much more.

2. Astro Knights being the proper introduction to Poptropica as a whole, with Merlin the owl being the first animal I had emotionally attached myself to. The reaction I had when Binary Bard just attacks Merlin, was that even though I knew as a child that both Mordred and Merlin's relationship was merely creator and creation, there was a sense that Binary Bard really had some form of emotional bond with the robots he made while in hiding, and that the bird wasn't on his side made him snap emotionally, even after two decades. I will live on this hill regardless. Never let this island be behind a membership.

3. The idea that islands correlate and connect with each other. I may not have enjoyed mythology island (because I had no clue what I was doing and didn't want to look up a walkthrough) but by god did I enjoy knowing that Dr. Juipter was Zeus the entire time I was going through the dreams of super villains and that the boss fight was correlating to the same boss fight on mythology. Not even that, the entirety of supervillain island is the anchor point for nine different islands (ten when including reality tv because both Dr Hare and Black Widow show up as contestants). Good shit, enjoy red string connections.

4. Main plots. There is always a single plot point that makes each island unique with ideas branching off the main plot. becoming a detective and the culprit constantly avoiding you for Mystery Train, shrinking "Honey i shrunk the kids" style while the kid whose house you're stuck in left clues for you to find in Shink ray, superheroes who have id and need to capture five criminals to even be considered as a superhero in Super Power. it always made my job making fanfics easier; understand the main plot before adding filler and the nitty-gritty

5. Ghost Story, Cryptids and Vampire's Curse. No need to elaborate.

and 6. Poptropica being my source of entertainment as a kid, it guided me into its world by including me in both the genre and the plot.

Case in point; Poptropica is top of children's entertainment I enjoyed and will continue to love with my heart despite what world we live in.

[maxwell-grant]

Who's your favorite Batman villain?

The Penguin. Was gonna put off this ask for a bit but I got surprised today with an incredible rendition of him, so now the dastardly bumbershoot waddled and squawked his way into my thoughts again and I gotta talk about him.

Penguin's not just my favorite Batman villain, he's my favorite DC character and comic book supervillain, the main reason I even want to write a Batman story someday.

I love the imagery that surrounds him, the trick umbrellas and the birds he so lovely dotes after and the WAKs and the Iceberg Lounge, which has become maligned in recent years as a sign of his downfall, but I very much appreciate as a concept in general still. I love a lot of the performances and actors who've taken him over the years. Burgess Meredith and Danny DeVito are some of my favorite performers of all time, Paul Williams has a wonderful voice and starred in my favorite film of all time. Tom Kenny, David Ogden Stiers, Robin Lord Taylor, Penguin's just had such great, terrific performances and adaptations. Batman Returns is my favorite Batman film by far and it was what got me to start paying more attention to Oswald.

I love the roles he can play in any given Batman story and how he's managed to endure all of his falls from grace by becoming an indispensable part of Batman's worldbuilding. I love his varied dynamics with Batman and Riddler and Catwoman and Gordon and his henchmen and those who get close to him. I love his style and the way he conducts himself when he's allowed to be more than just a generic mob boss. Penguin's design has, by simply staying unchanged over the decades, gone from "common rich person wear draped over a funny cartoon gangster" to "he is so out of touch and desperate for respectability that he dresses like an 1930s capitalist caricature, like a little kid's idea of what a rich and respectable man looks like, and Penguin's still stuck in that mindset". I love how absurd and plausible he is.

I like that Penguin can very easily fit just about any kind of Batman story, from the campy supervillain plots to the gritty urban crime ones. You can tell stories about Penguin falling in love, pretending to be legit because he doesn't want his aunt to learn he's a criminal, and opening up a comedy act with a talking penguin, or stories about Penguin terrorizing the city with giant robots and guided missiles and driving people to suicide. I like that he's a character who both relishes in his lifestyles of supervillain and crimelord alike, and yet is perpetually restless because the minute he acquires what he wants, he immediately starts wanting something else. He could have Batman and the Batfamily and all other supervillains wiped out and have Gotham in his pocket and maybe even become President of the United States, and he'd still want more. Because Oswald is nothing but wants, the wants of a traumatized manchild in a funny costume throwing money and toys and brute force and tantrums at the world until it makes sense, which only makes him far too fitting as a Batman villain.

Everyone forgets that Penguin was canonically the first villain to ever successfully escape Batman at the end of a story, completely bypassing the usual "villain swears revenge behind bars" ending to instead escape scot-free, and went on to establish himself as one of his biggest, most inventive and most cunning villains, second only, if not equal, to Joker. I love that he's ruthless and inventive and classy and cunning and brutal and how his main trick is using the fact that everyone underestimates the short fat man to his advantage. He's taken traits that got many of us in real life relentlessly tormented for them, and he uses them to pull the wool over those who think they are better than him.

It'ss a trick that works because even in real life people can't stop looking at this weird and silly little man and think "that guy's too silly for a Batman villain, he's not a murder clown or musclebound monster, what's he gonna do" and, yeah, that's the point, that's been the point from day one, he doesn't look scary or intimidating or even that evil, and he's the guy who pulls the rug under supergenius fighting machine Batman and becomes the top crimelord of Gotham City, a city ruled by terrors and manias and monsters infinitely bigger and scarier and stronger than he is, and he STILL made it to the top and he STILL maintains it, time and time again even when newer and flashier and scarier villains come and go. Batman is, at it's core, a fundamentally absurd character, and Penguin acts as a reminder of that. Because the minute we accept a man can terraform himself with training and money into a living legend on the level of gods, there's no reason why a tiny fat man with similar drive and resources can't likewise throw his weight with monsters and warriors far above his station.

Despite how ridiculously often he's disrespected by writers and fans alike, how far he's fallen off his former position in Batman's Rogues Gallery, and how often he's used as just a punching bag for assorted Bat-people, Penguin never goes away. He's the biggest survivor of all of Batman's villains, more so than the genuinely immortal ones, because he's the cockroach that won't go away no matter how many times you flush it.

Because once you get past the piles of money and the lounge fortresses and the armies of goons and the piles of cartoony gadget toys not too dissimilar from Batman's own, what the Penguin has is brains, and spite and hatred on a scale no other Batman villain has. He hates Batman, because Batman is nothing but yet another bully who thinks he can push Oswald around just because he's bigger and stronger. He hates the lower class for it's unsophisticated brutes and boors that made his childhood hell. He hates the upper class that's rejected and also tormented him since infancy, that he desperately spent so long trying to be a part of. He hates the monsters and supervillains he works with and has to associate with to stay alive. He hates the city that he fights to rule over tooth and nail.

And although he may never admit it, he hates himself, because he'a short paunchy man with a beakish nose who's brutal and immoral not just because those are the cards life dealt him, but because he likes what it affords him too much to give it away. Because he's never going to have the love and acceptance he desperately craves, he will never be able to accept it or keep it. Because he can never fully be a gentleman, or a monster, but instead a sad mix who belongs in neither of their worlds. Because at the end, he doesn't look like anyone else. He looks like one of him.

And still, I like Penguin because he's a Gentleman Villain. The one Gentleman Villain of Batman's rogues gallery, even if that's faded from a lot of his recent appearences that pushed the crimelord aspects to the forefront. He dresses like a gentleman thief, he's canonically a huge A.J Raffles fan, he's one of the most cunning brains of Gotham, he's got the money, resources, and adventurous spirit. Problem is, he's The Penguin. And suddenly, all that he has becomes overblown, outlandish, theatrical, and out of touch purely because it's him trying to do all those things. He's a gentleman adventurer gone rogue, the Count Fosco of the DCU, and that only makes it amusing, even endearing, when Penguin does engage in the swashbuckling antics he's so fond of.

When all his plans go to hell and so he starts fencing Batman, or when he commands henchmen with superflous fancy language, or even when Oswald gives the whole "hero" thing a shot and we see he's actually not bad at it, maybe he actually could have been one if it wasn't for the bile drowning his heart and the hellscape that warped innocent young Cobblepot into Gotham's Penguin, a name that immediately denotes something silly and ridiculous, and he carries it with pride, because he will make you respect that name.

And that's just a couple of reasons. I really, really love this character to the point of obsession and the main reason why I ever wanted to write stories for DC was to get to write Penguin and at least try to do the character a little more justice. But if nothing else, Penguin endures, regardless of what happens to him, in and out of universe. If nothing else, that's a very admirable quality in a supervillain. Oswald is the best.

[theshelbyclan]

Bells and Smoke

Summary: The youngest Shelby has to be send away to a convent, but you have no intention of conforming to their rules, even if you’ll die in the process

(Gif by @harmon-jane-black​) A/N: Requested by anon: Could I request a Shelby sister where she is sent off to a boarding school and is getting badly bullied by teachers and pupils for being what they think is Birmingham poor scum. Maybe she comes home or gets visited and is losing her Birmingham accent and is a little thin and tired. V Polly and tommy nun scene vibes. Only if you aren't busy ❣️ x This has gotten really long, but this request gave me SO many ideas! Warning for abuse and neglect though. And I hope you like it!

Words: 6020 *** You couldn’t remember how it had all happened. One minute everything seemed to be fine and the next, life as you knew it had ended. Maybe it was Tommy’s idea, to give you the opportunities the others never had. But he never cared much about his siblings’ education. Maybe it was Arthur’s idea, thinking you’d finally become too wild. But he was too busy fighting his own demons. Maybe it was Aunt Pol’s idea, making a woman of style and class out of you. But she’d never abandon you like this. 

All you knew was that one morning you had been in bed. As usual, you’d woken up with the workers as the factory whistles sounded, but there was no need for you to get up at five. So you’d turned around and tried to sleep on. But then Finn had come in and he roughly shook you awake. “Aunt Pol says you have to get up,” he had said, his voice filled with urgency. But you hadn’t been awake fully yet, “What… Why? It’s so early!” “You have to pack.” “For what? Where are we going?” Your brother had refused to meet your eye, “Not me. Just you.” And before you knew it, Aunt Polly had taken you and your small bag into the car and you were speeding out of Birmingham. At least Finn had come along, though Polly had forbidden him to go, but he had been adamant. “Where are we going?” you had whispered to him in the back. He had hardly replied to any of your question, but gave evasive answers like, “Away. Pol says it won’t be forever.” You remembered the all-encompassing feeling of loneliness that had washed over you in that moment. Was it something you had done? Were you being punished? Was the family giving you up? You were only fifteen, you’d never been away from Small Heath without any of your siblings by your side, and the separation had been too abrupt, too cruel. Suddenly, Aunt Polly had swerved to the right and stopped abruptly in front of the train station. “Get you bag,” she’d ordered you. Anger had flared inside of you, “No! You tell me where I’m going first!” “Y/N Shelby, I am your aunt and you will do as I say. Remember who you’re talking to and don’t think for one second that you will win this fight. Grab your bag and get out of the car.” Petrified at your aunt’s tone of voice, you’d gotten out of the car. And like a zombie, you’d walked over to the train. On the side it said Oxford. “Where do I get off?” You’d asked no one in particular. “Oxford,” your brother had never left your side, “Just sit tight until the end.” “You know what’s going on.” “I can’t change it, Y/N,” his eyes had been pleading for your forgiveness in that one moment, “I tried, I swear to God I did, but I can’t change it…” Not really understanding, you had only been able to nod, “Will you explain it to me?” “I’ll write.” Suddenly, tears had begun to fall from your eyes. The great unknown hadn’t even scared you that much, but the sudden realisation that everything had been altered had. “Here,” Finn had nudged you, as you’d hoisted your bag on board, “I nicked this for you,” and he’d handed you a hipflask, “might get you as far as Oxford. After that, you’re on your own.” His words had hit you hard, so there’d been nothing left to do but take a swig from the whiskey he offered. “What did I do wrong?” you’d asked him, uncertain. “Nothing. Don’t let the bastards tell you otherwise. You did nothing.” His voice had been so strong then. “Finn?” “Yeah?” “You can’t fucking write.” He’d burst out laughing and you couldn’t help yourself but join him. Then the train had started to depart and you’d taken one last look at the car with Aunt Pol’s silhouette inside. You’d turned to Finn and it’d been like you would never see him again. “Finn?” “Yeah?” “I bloody love you, you know?” He’d smirked, “I fucking love you too.” Eyes still locked, the train had started to move and just before it was too late, he’d added, “I’ll make sure you’re coming back home.” You’d clung to those words *** At five in the morning, the whistles sounded. Waking up this early was now your habit, as it was the habit of all the girls here. Like robots, you all climbed out of your sober beds, to put on your drab grey dresses and to stand neatly next to year beds. The dormitory looked like a prison cell and the girls’ faces were ashen. Shivering in the cold, you waited for inspection. “Adams!” “Yes, sister.” “Lee!” “Yes, sister.” “Williams!” “Yes, sister.” The first voice rang through the room like the bells of hell and the girls answered in meek tones. This was your morning ritual and there was no comfort to be found in it. Silently, you waited, while a part of you still dreamed of the horses you once loved and rode. Remember the freedom you felt, you told yourself. Remember the wind in your hair? The people who cared? The place called home? Remember Finn running alongside you? “Shelby!” You suddenly looked up, “Yes, sister,” and faced the nun who’d stopped by your bed. “What’s this?” she asked her rhetorical question. “My bed,” you weren’t supposed to answer, but it had escaped you before you could stop yourself. The middle-aged woman crouched down and tore up the neat bedding you’d just finished tucking in perfectly. Locking eyes with you, she gloated, “Look, it isn’t made properly.” “It was,” you replied through gritted teeth, “you just went and fucked it up again.” Without a warning, she struck you across the face hard. Then she flipped over the bed in one smooth motion and said, without any emotion, “Do it again.” Seething with rage, you counted to ten in your head. In your mind, you went back to Small Heath. You could feel the warmth of the fire in your kitchen, hear the men counting the money and could smell Aunt Polly’s cooking. This and only this was how you managed not to explode. “Ankins!” she continued her list. “Yes, sister.” “Elliot!” She was new here and you looked at her without turning your head, a skill you’d mastered in recent weeks. Some of the girls said she’d gotten pregnant, but she’d lost the baby before coming here. No one really knew what had happened to her. You only thought she looked too young, too fragile, like a little bird that could be squashed with a single movement of the hand. “Yes…” she mumbled, practically inaudibly. “Speak up, girl!” She hardly increased her volume, but repeated, “Yes, sister.” Just as you’d promised yourself you’d try to look out for her, evil incarnate turned around to face you again and snapped, “Shelby. You’ll report to my office after you’ve finished making your bed, properlythis time.” Great, you thought. After she’d left, you looked at your hands in resignation. Faint white lines betrayed the cane that had been on them. They’d only just healed. *** A few months earlier, Tommy was meeting a man dressed in black in an alleyway. As the rain was pouring down on Small Heath, they spoke in urgent whispers. “What did she do this time?” the concerned brother said with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice. “Theft, mainly,” the other replied, “And she was seen at the races, leaving the scene of the murder.” Tommy knew his sister hadn’t been responsible for the death that day, but none of it mattered now, “How much do they know?” “Enough.” Tommy took another drag of his cigarette and paused for a second, “Well, what do they want?” “Nothing. Leverage.” “Fuck…” “Thomas,” the informant urged, “Get her out. Out of Small Heath, and do it fast.” “Where the fuck is she supposed to go?” He shrugged, “Don’t you have family some place else?” “Can’t protect our Y/N when she’s away from here,” Tommy said coldly, not betraying the emotions he felt. “Then send her somewhere she will be protected.” Tommy sighed deeply, “I’ll ask Pol, eh? She’ll know what to do.” The man looked at Thomas Shelby: gangster, businessman, brother. His face was impossible to read and his feelings remained hidden. So he said, “Do it tonight, Thomas, if you can. He said she’d hang for it. Get her out.” ***

The first time you had tried to escape you didn’t think about it. You hadn’t even planned it and had just decided to run. With two nuns hot on your heels, you’d raced through the corridors. Pretty soon, you ran into your first locked door. You knew all was lost there and then. “Shelby…” the mother superior had mused as you stood in her office, “I knew it would be you.” “And how the fuck would you know that?” you’d replied quick as a flash. “You watch your tone, filthy rat,” she’d shouted, but added calmly, “We know of your kind, child.” Through gritted teeth, you’d questioned, “And what kind would that be?” “Gypsy scum,” she’d spat, before beating you senseless for the first time. The second time you tried to escape, you’d thought it through more. In the middle of the night, you’d crept out of bed and tiptoed across the dormitory. “Get back in bed!” one of the girls had whispered, “Remember last time?” “Yeah, I fucking remember, that’s why I need to leave!” you’d whispered back, voice filled with urgency.

Two hairpins. The day you’d found those were the day you’d planned your second escape attempt. Because if growing up in Small Heath had taught you one thing, it was how to steal and lie and cheat. And, coincidentally, how to pry open any lock. The first locked door was conquered quickly, but the second one had proven to be more troublesome. The large black doors that were said to protect you from the outside world did their job of keeping you all caged inside. The hairpins were too small to reach all the tumblers. Cursing under your breath, you’d soon realised that you disappearance had been noticed. In a panic, you’d grabbed a chandelier from the chapel and broken a window. Ignoring the shards you’d climbed through, while they tore at your skin and blood stained your nightgown. Once outside, the fresh air had an intoxicating effect on you. But you’d never gotten far. Again, you were brought to the mother superior, who stood waiting eagerly this time, cane in hand. “Go on,” you’d urged, full of defiance, “Beat me and get it over with.” “No…” she’d said suddenly, “you will tell me what your plan was first.” “To fucking get out.” “Why would you want to leave this place?” she’d questioned innocently, “Why would you want to leave the house of the Lord, where we only want to offer you safety and education? Where you can atone for your sins and regain your place in heaven?” “I’m not an animal,” you’d replied, “I need to be free.” And with that, the nun had smirked at you, “Free. You want to be free. Well, maybe this will finally break your spirit.” They’d locked you up in the cellars for three weeks. Darkness had enveloped you, only broken when she came in to beat you or feed you. You could never be sure. After every beating, she’d say, “Now, I’ll pray to God for you and ask him for his forgiveness.” “I’ll do it myself,” came your steady answer each time, “I’ll deal with him on my own.” And in the dark you’d cling onto the black Madonna around your neck, the only mother you still had left in this Godforsaken place. Now, some girls would be broken by now, but not you. If anything, you’d been more determined than ever to get out. But you had to be smart about it. Maybe Aunt Pol wouldn’t take you back and maybe you’d shame Tommy, but Finn would look out for you. Running hadn’t worked so far, so a new plan had started to form in your mind: a new plan that involved the boy that delivered the bread. Because as the days droned on after you were being released, you started paying attention to the delivery boy for the first time. You knew he’d always had a thing for you, but you weren’t interested. As a way out, you were now extremely interested. “Hi,” you greeted when it was your turn to help him unload. He was so startled by your talking all of a sudden, all he could manage was, “Bread…” “Yeah,” you smiled your prettiest smile, “Bread. That’s what you’re here for, right?” “I am.” “Good,” and you continued to unload the crates, sending him a few glances over your shoulder. He was still rooted to the spot, so you decided a bit more effort was required in this case, “You only come here for the bread?” you asked with humour in your voice. “Well, that’s my job…” he almost stuttered, but when you made eye contact, he finally relaxed a little, “What else would I come here for?” “Me?” you asked innocently. You could tell his confidence was growing, “Well, maybe a little. I mean, you are the prettiest girl in the school.” That was easy, you thought. So you flirted on and chatted him up and soon he was all yours, “Your name’s Billy, right?” “Yeah.” “Well, Billy. I need a favour…” This plan was a lot more complicated but it had a higher chance of success. And it would’ve worked too, if it hadn’t been for the younger nun who’d spotted you talking to Billy. Before the third attempt had even taken place, you found yourself back at the office. This time, the mother superior didn’t even speak. As soon as you were marched in, she’d grabbed you by your hair and attacked you with a pair of scissors. “Get off me, you crazy bitch!” you screeched, as strands of your hair fell down left and right of you. But the old nun remained completely calm in her tone, while becoming increasingly vicious in her attack, “Do you know what we do here?” You clenched your jaw for the pain, because this was no longer just about cutting your hair, but also hurting you as much as possible in the process. You had about a thousand replies to her question, but quickly weighed your options and decided not to piss off an angry old nun with a deadly weapon in her hands. So she continued, “We offer you the gift of education. Through hard labour, lots of prayer and penance the girls can find their way back to Jesus Christ. By humbling yourself, denying yourself rest, food and drink even, and working beyond human endurance one may come closer to our Lord. Save yourself from eternal damnation.” “No, thanks,” you replied inaudibly. When your hair had been cut, she crowed, “Your arrogance has been defeated and your vanity has been lifted. You will do well here now.” The fuck you would.

*** “Aunt Pol?” “What?” the woman snapped. He faltered, “Is this a bad time?” “It’s never a good time. Speak up, Finn.” “Fine,” and he took in a deep breath, mentally preparing himself, “When’s Y/N coming home?” Aunt Polly turned around abruptly and said, “For fuck’s sake, Finn.” “It’s been months!” “And we haven’t heard from her,” with a large gesture, Aunt Polly threw some more wood onto the fire, “If something was wrong, she would’ve written.” “Well, no…” her nephew started protesting. “Yes,” his aunt interrupted him, “She’s fine. It’s Y/N. She can take care of herself.” “She can’t now, can she!” Finn suddenly erupted, “Yousend her away and for fucking what?! She didn’t do anythingwrong!” Polly held up a menacing hand, “You mind your fucking tone or I’ll slap you back to where you came from.” “I’m sixteen, Aunt Pol, same age as Y/N. Remember, we’re twins?” He’d only gotten more heated, “Something’s wrong. I can feel it, alright? And she wouldn’t write to you anyways, because you’re the one that send her away! Why would she write to someone who doesn’t even fuckingwant her?” Polly paused for a moment and seemed to calm down, “What do you mean you feel it?” “I just know, Aunt Pol, like when we were little and she fell in the Cut and I couldn’t breathe? It’s like that, only… longer.” She put down her black cigarette, “You’ve been dreaming, haven’t you?” “I dream about her, but I can never see her,” he nodded, “And sometimes…”

“What?” “It’s stupid…” “Finn, you tell me, right now!” everything about her was focused on the urgency of the situation now. But he didn’t understand, “Seagulls, alright? I keep dreaming about seagulls.” “Fuck,” his aunt whispered to herself, “I need to talk to Tommy.”

“Aunt Pol, you’re missing the fucking point!” he was seething again, “I was trying to talk to you about Y/N! I just want to know why you send her away and whenshe’s coming back!” “I didn’t send her away. Tommy said we didn’t have a choice,” she grabbed her coat and continued talking to herself, “I thought she’d be safe there…” “Isn’t she?” Finn asked, panicking as a result of his aunt’s strange behaviour. “Seagulls, Finn, fucking seagulls!” *** You couldn’t understand why they hated you so much. At first it had just been the nuns, and you had a vague notion of them calling you ‘gypsy scum’ had something to do with it. From the start, they’d commented on your accent, reminded you of where you came from and told you that you were nothing compared to the others girls here. And in a way this made sense: on the one hand this school had the outward appearance of being an institution of learning for young ladies, but the reality was very different. Parents who no longer wanted to deal with them or who had ‘shamed’ their families often dumped girls here. Others were orphans. Either way, the nuns collected the large amount of money paid for each girl and treated all of you badly. And you weren’t a complete idiot and you knew you were partially to blame for the situation as it was now. You knew you hadn’t made a great entrance when you walked into the school, but even from the start they had disliked you. But your resistance had made it worse, much worse. All the girls were treated harshly, had to work and were kept in line, but you were being treated like a slave held captive. There was zero intention on your part to come into the school to make friends. From the moment you’d stepped off that train, you’d decided you were done with people. All you wanted was your brother, and the rest of the family if they still wanted you. But after a few weeks, you had started craving some connections and you had tried to make friends with the other girls. But it soon became clear that you had very little in common with them. This however, wasn’t the main problem: they feared you. Your defiance made them anxious to be around you and receive similar punishments to yours. They kept away. “Elliot!” you whispered to the new girl, who was crying in the dark. You rolled onto your other side in bed to face her and tried to ask her gently, “What’s your name, your first name I mean?” After a few residual sobs, she said softly, “Anna.” “I had a cousin called Anna,” you smiled at her, “Why are you crying? Who do you miss?” “It’s not who I miss, it’s about who doesn’t miss me…” “How do you know…” you started, but you were interrupted. “Don’t talk to her!” another girl called out and Anna turned around to look at her. The girl continued, “Yeah, I’m talking to you. Don’t talk to Y/N. She’ll get you in trouble. Just… stay away from her.” Anna looked at you for a few seconds, eyes filled with fear and then she turned onto her other side. You couldn’t even blame her really. She was new. But slowly, it only got worse. All the girls crossed the halls when you passed and not only did they begin to shun you, but they started taking your things, stealing your food at times and made you an outcast in every sense of the word. And you suddenly understood: if they made you stand out even more, all the attention would be drawn to you. The nuns would leave them alone. You were the easy scapegoat, because you’d been the most likely choice from the start. And as the months wore on, you started to wither away. Jealous or full of hatred, you couldn’t tell, but the other girls tried to hurt you as much as the nuns did. You were cold at night because they’d taken your blankets. You didn’t eat because you were being punished. You didn’t sleep because you were locked up downstairs and the beatings kept you awake. And so you fell ill, heavily. After you recovered, you stopped eating, sleeping, fighting. Not because you no longer could, but because the loneliness had finally caught up with you: you no longer wanted to. *** Tommy watched his aunt as she strode over towards him. He’d known the woman for years and usually he would be annoyed by her interrupting his meeting, but by the way she walked, he knew she wouldn’t wait for anyone right now. “Get out,” she told the man Tommy had been talking too. He left at once. “It’s Y/N,” she said as soon as he’d gone, “We need to get her out.” “She’s at the school, the one you recommended, Pol. You told me she’d get a good education there.” “We were wrong, Thomas, wrong to send her away.” “What’s all this, eh?” he frowned, “We had no choice and she alright where she is. We took care of it.” With a wave of her hand, Polly referred to Finn, “He feels she’s in danger.” And Tommy turned to his youngest brother, raising his eyebrows sarcastically, “Is that right?” “I have a bad feeling, Tom…” Finn said uncertainly. “He’s been dreaming of seagulls,” Polly emphasized, locking eyes with her nephew. “Fucking seagulls…” he rubbed his head, “More gypsy witchcraft?” Swiftly, she slapped Tommy across the face, “You’ve forgotten where you’re from.” Quickly, Tommy’s face went through a range of emotions. First there was anger and the urge to strike back. Then there was the reaction of wanting to hide, like he was being chastised just like when he was little. The hurt over her comment came next, swiftly followed by a sense of shame, because she was right. His face settled on worry over his youngest sister. “What do we do?” “What will happen if we get her back to Small Heath?”

Tommy lit a cigarette and thought out loud, “Connor wants her dead. He has high influence in the police and he’s using her as leverage, after having seen her at the races.” “Y/N didn’t kill that soldier!” Finn called out, full of indignation. “Yes, we know…” Tommy said in a low voice, “But that doesn’t fucking matter because no one’s going to believe our word for it against his.” “Who else knows?” Polly continued. “My guess is no one does yet…” “JOHN!” Polly howled suddenly and for a second Tommy could only blink. Then he continued, “If anyone else knew, we’d heard by now. I’m guessing he intends to save the information for when he can use it.” Aunt Polly bend down and started unlacing one of her boots. That’s when John walked in and he immediately paused when he felt the tension hang in the air. “Take this,” she ordered him and handed him the small revolver that she kept hidden in her boots, “Shoot Connor.” “Fucking what?” he nearly spit out his toothpick. John looked at Tommy for an explanation, but it didn’t come. Instead Tommy asked Polly, “Then what?” “We go to Oxford.” Tommy nodded slowly, “John, go on. Shoot the man. Get Arthur out of bed when you’ve done it.” Shrugging like it was just another small task he had to fulfil without much enthusiasm, John walked off with the gun in hand. But Finn said carefully, “What if I was wrong?” “Have you ever been wrong about your sister?” Aunt Polly asked, “Apart from that time you thought she was in love with that Jewish boy…” “No.” “Trust your gut, Finn,” Tommy confirmed, “Pol’s right.” Aunt Polly smiled at him with an almost motherly warmth, “Let’s bring Y/N home.” *** Eventually you were moved to the hospital wing of the school. The neglect and lack of food had caused your body to shut down and you could no longer force yourself to get up each morning. At first, you were branded lazy and got punished for it. Finally, even the nuns acknowledged this was serious and the last thing they needed was another girl dying at their school. You’d lost all feeling for days, drifting in and out of sleep. One nun took care of you and she was different from the others. During your hazy periods, she tried to persuade you to eat, but with the last strength you did have, you refused. If you were to die, it’d be your own choice. “Y/N…” someone whispered to you gently. You tried to open your eyes, but it felt like lifting bricks with muscles you did not have. “Y/N,” the voice said again, and you realised this wasn’t the nun. Slowly you opened your eyes and saw Anna, sitting by the side of your bed. “What do you want?” you croaked. She looked down and said, “I came to see you.” “Why?” “Because I’ve made a mistake.”

You didn’t care for her feelings. You knew she despised you just like the others did and you didn’t need another girl gloating by your bed. So you decided to just wait and not answer her. “The girls told me you were scum,” she continued, “that you didn’t belong here. They said that’s why you always got into trouble, because you’re just Birmingham working-class trash.” Great, you thought, and how is this supposed to help? “When they told me to not talk to you, I listened. I thought it would help, that I would fit in more and the nuns wouldn’t beat me like I saw them do with others. But I was wrong.” “The nuns don’t need a reason,” you replied before you could stop yourself, “Reasons help, but they will find a way to vent their cruelty, no matter what.” “That night,” Anna said, “you talked to me and asked me who I missed. You were the only one that asked me why I was crying.” “I didn’t want you to feel too alone…” Anna nodded, “I know. That’s why I’m here.” But you didn’t understand, “Why are you here?” “Y/N. You’re not alone. Tell me, who do you miss?” Much to your own annoyance, tears welled up in your eyes. For last couple of months you had tried so hard not to think of Finn, Arthur, John and Ada. And you tried to ban Polly and Tommy especially from your mind, always wondering why they didn’t want you. Your heart can be cruel like that: those who don’t want you, you miss the most. Anna took your hand in hers and for the first time you felt another human being without pain. And so you started telling her of your brothers, of your aunt, of the horses and factories and of the streets of Small Heath. Anna didn’t say a word, but she listened intensely. After you’d cried all your tears and there were no more stories left to tell, all she said was, “Please. Eat.” When she offered you soup, you ate. *** It was a sight to behold: Polly Gray walking through the city of academia with four brothers practically having to run after her to keep up. When she arrived at the front doors of the convent, she didn’t ask to come in, but simply walked on into the halls. “Aunt Pol,” John ventured, “What do we do?”

“Keep up,” she said simply. Arthur looked around nervously. He didn’t like nuns and convents. But Tommy and Finn scanned every room and corner for you. Left and right, girls looked up in surprise as the strange family invaded their home. “Who’s that?” they whispered. But the nuns urged them away and said, “No one. Don’t look at them. They don’t belong here.” Tommy frown deepened as he noticed the faces of the girls. These weren’t what he expected. Of course, he wasn’t familiar with schools like this one, but he knew education played a part. These girls all looked tired, downtrodden and most of them were cleaning or scrubbing the floors. He shared a look with Aunt Polly and she nodded in understanding. “How are we going to find her?” Finn asked. “Oi!” Arthur called out to one of the girls, who jumped up at his voice, “Y/N, you know her?” “No, sir…” she shook. “Listen to my voice,” John added, “What about a girl who sounds like me?” And then one other girl stepped forward and she tilted her chin up high as a sign of arrogance, “She’s not here.” “And whyis she not here?” Polly asked pointedly. The girl got nervous, but tried to keep composure, “Because she’s filth and this is a decent school.” Again, Tommy looked around at the skinny girls, all dressed in the same drab depressing dressed, “Decent, eh?” His low menacing voice knocked all the attitude out of her, so she changed her mind, “She was taken to the hospital ward a few weeks ago.” “Where,” Arthur demanded. “North wing,” she gulped.

Aunt Polly marched through the halls like a woman on a mission. Her face bore a gritty look of determination and none of the bells, smoke and threats of a holy place could make her quiver. In fact, God shook as she walked passed.

Still, one nun tried to stop her, but before she could open her mouth in protest, Aunt Polly had pushed her aside and casually commented, “Better get out of the way, sister, you certainly won’t be the first woman of God I’ve knocked down.” When they entered the hospital wing, they walked into another depressing space filled with beds in lines. Most of them were empty, but one nun stood up and walked over to Polly. Her first instinct was to actually knock down this one, but when she saw her soft face, she paused. “Y/N Shelby,” she demanded, “We’ve come to take her home.”

“You’re her aunt?” the nun asked, “She’s asked for you.” “Is she alright?” Finn stepped forward, “What was wrong with her?” “We thought she might not make it. She stopped eating, you see,” the nun explained. John frowned and protested, “That’s not Y/N. She would never refuse food, unless…” Tommy didn’t need to hear the ‘unless’; worry was already eating him alive inside. So he walked around in search for his sister. He found her in a bed, with another girl sitting next to her. His sister was asleep. “Who are you?” Polly demanded harshly. But the brothers couldn’t speak when they saw their sisters. You were too skinny, eyes sunken deep and bruises were still visible on your face. The long black hair was gone. In many ways, it wasn’t their sister anymore, just a shell. The nun answered when the other girl was too afraid to, “This is Y/N’s friend. She came to visit her every day, even though she wasn’t allowed to.” Polly lifted one eyebrow, “Then why did you allow it?” “Anna got Y/N to eat again. She’s the reason she’s alive.”

Anna. Polly walked over to her and carefully took her hand, “You watched over my niece.” “I didn’t want her to feel alone. She felt abandoned, she said…” Anna said in a soft voice. Polly shook her head in an effort to banish the emotions, “Thank you, Anna. You’re a good friend and a guardian angel.” “What did they do to her?” John asked her through gritted teeth. “She was isolated, singled out for being… different.” Anna explained without meeting their eyes, “She tried to fight them from the start, but never won. She kept trying to run away. They beat her, kept her locked up in the cellar, but when the other girls turned on her and she thought she would never leave this place, she just… gave up.” Slowly, Finn had walked over to the other side of the bed. Clumsy but lovingly, he started stroking the hair out of your face. Seagulls, he thought. “Who’s in charge here?” Tommy suddenly spoke. “The mother superior has an office down the hall,” the nun said, “Anna can take you there.” “No,” Anna gasped, “I can’t…” Fear was written all over her face.

“What’s wrong with the office?” Tommy asked her with unusual kindness. “It’s where she…” And in an instant they all understood. So Tommy demanded, “Tell that woman to come here.” “She won’t like it, sir…” “You fuckingtell her to come here,” Tommy spat filled with venom, “Or I will burn this entire place down to the ground, and don’t think for a second I won’t fucking do it.” So the nun with the gentle face nodded and walked off. Somehow, Tommy’s explosion had triggered some old memories in you. Before you were properly awake, you dreamed of being back in your bed in Small Heath. The smell of the factories penetrated your nose and you could hear your family arguing. But when you opened your eyes, they were actually there. You looked at them one by one and stopped at Finn, “You said you’d explain.” “And I will,” he said, “when we get home.” “Am I allowed to go home?” you questioned in disbelieve. Aunt Polly shook her head, “You should’ve never been anywhere else.” “Can’t protect you if you’re not at home…” Tommy added with a slight hint of guilt in his voice. “It’s safe now,” John said, “I’ve dealt with it.” And just the way he said it made you smile a little. “Arthur, John,” Tommy started ordering them in his usual business-like manner, “Take Y/N out of here.” And Arthur lifted you out of the bed into his arms like it was nothing. “Finn, you go with them. Make sure you get her things.” At that, John pulled a gun and Finn nodded solemnly. “What about Anna?” you asked, looking at your friend, “I won’t leave her here.” “Pol and I are going to have a word with the mother superior,” Tommy stated matter-of-factly. You sighed in relief, but Anna still had a look of confusion on her face, “What will that do? She won’t listen to anyone.” “She’ll listen to us, love,” Polly said to her with a reassuring smile that left very little room for arguments, “We’ll make sure of it.” You smiled at Anna too, “This convent will be closed by tomorrow. Trust me.” “We’ll see you at home, Y/N,” Tommy said, “And then we’ll talk.” Just before Arthur walked out of the door with you in your arms, Aunt Polly ran over to you and pressed a kiss on your forehead, “Safe journey, sweetheart.” Then there was just Tommy and Polly left, clearing their faces of all sentiment and hardening their features. Arms crossed, they waited and knew what had to be done, and nothing would stop them from doing it.

“Mr. Shelby, Mrs. Gray?” the hospital nun had reappeared, “The mother superior will see you now.”

***

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