#god i love aabria's. everything. so much

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

okay so i just found out worlds beyond number is actually (at least partially) available on youtube, had a small squeal attack, and listened to the first 20 minutes (cant get to more rn cause im taking a class )of episode 0. and just. the only word i can describe it with rn is excellent. this is beautiful art.

[wabblebees]

ok so im fINALLy catching up on d20 rn (my beloved) and just started court of fey & flowers earlier today and oh my GOD. IM CRYING. LOU WILSON I ADORE YOU

to give no context whatsoever, the particular sentence im dying over rn was:

"i believe he was shy. but i ALSO believe his mother is just a stern breeze, and THAT can't be good for social skills"

[puzzlingphronistes]

Absolutely great episode. A little scared at what the iceberg melting means for the rest of their journey, and sad that Evan didn't get chosen in piss bc of what he said in the last adventuring party (bleem mentioned he thought the goat stamp on his ass meant that the goat claimed him, which is why tad could only leave a paw print rather than his whole pussy) but! All around great!

"I already have power I'll take knowledge"

"my tiddies? Brown."

"tell weugan I said hi" HOLY SHIT! THAT GOAT FUCKED THAT WOLF!!!

and above that, I love LOVE how much Aabria is trying to get them to fight these concepts of magic, and how much the misfits are straight up refusing the call. She had to start the episode with a check just to try to hurt them

THEE great sky serpent! Quetzy! A being of great hate and malice that they made friends with by letting it go home! Fuck that rocked

The scale here seems really interesting, too. Earlier this season Evan mentioned something about how wizard civilization diverted from normal civilization around the Advent of the printing press? But this ep confirmed it as old, older than what we know as recorded history.

And that they were barking up the wrong tree! God what a save by Danielle. That they assumed the funnels and the well were all necessary for magic, a truth of magic, instead just another Bombini classic. my guess is magic, true magic, used to look a lot closer to standard DND style, and the OG founders created the well to make magic easier, and this magic was less efficient, so less people could perform it.

And I love LOVE how Aabria is challenging everyone's preconceptions about magic. At the top of the season when K broke their wand, they spoke about the fact that they *can* break their wands with almost. Incredulity. "No way I would break my wand!" Type attitude. And slowly but surely everyone loses theirs one by one, wrapping up with jammer realizing that it's not necessary, it's not even good to have, it's holding him back.

And last one. The components! So cool. Performance intention and material, and that it doesn't necessitate something specific. The material of K throwing dirt could just as easily been rocks, or holding up a sheet of paper. It's giving "someone just replaced the blood component in a summoning ritual with tapioca and it worked" but across everything magic needs - almost like it's all just folk magic at the bottom, and everything beyond that is just having fun, messing around.

[utilitycaster]

I don't know how you feel about it, but I was extremely frustrated last night when I found out that break was called after around 3 hours. I just felt that at that point they should have just made it a Crown Keepers episode instead of promising that BH would be back and then them barely being in the episode. I don't know, I'm usually really go with the flow with CRs creative choices, but this was just a real big swing and a miss for me. I wish this had all just been its own episode

So here's my feelings:

My thoughts on EXU Prime, and later Kymal, were that I love the player characters and their relationships and much of the worldbuilding (notably all of Niirdal-Poc and the Qoniira Tetrarchy) and I liked many of Aabria's NPCs but there were some pretty big gaps left in "what the fuck is going on" that left me feeling as though I wouldn't mind seeing the characters again but I didn't feel strongly about continuing the story in-world, if that makes sense. The Aevilux reveal, for example, was sort of what the main plot of EXU Prime hinged upon (ie, that was Myr'atta Niselor's motivation; that was what the deal with Ted was) and so the fact that didn't come out for over 2.5 years irl after it ended meant I'd just kind of said "well, some weirdo from Syngorn really wanted to do shit to Opal for some reason related to her sister, who is also her patron, and we don't know why either of these things is the case, and I guess that's what happened" and made my peace with it. Similarly, I don't know what the Nameless Ones want, and never have (other than, at one point, the circlet of barbed vision, and I don't know why they want it). I made a joke that Myr'atta, Poska, and Otohan are all kind of the same and honestly that is the thing: if you don't know why a villain is doing something - even if the reason is "because I love to be evil and terrible!" it's hard to care, and if those are only villains, it's hard to be invested in the story about the heroes either, even if you like the heroes as characters.

When I say I like how this ended, I mean it - I think it could have gone only a few ways, but I like that Morrighan and Opal have both become divine champions, Morrighan willingly and Opal less so (this is yet another case of "the gods don't do take-backsies on oaths", but also, I do feel for Opal despite it all because of Aimee's excellent work throughout). I mentioned how I felt about the exact details of Cyrus's death but I don't mind that he's dead. Fy'ra was a highlight throughout, as she frequently is, and I think she was faced with two extremely unpleasant choices and made a fascinating decision. But I'd have preferred to see this as a flashback (see next paragraph) or like. Just decide what happened. If I'm being extremely honest a lot of my issues with the Crown Keepers portion is that it felt like there was a very specific desired ending (Opal's complete corruption and Cyrus's death); I also said at some point well before that you can only do so much with the Crown Keepers while Dariax is there because Matt does, even if he's turning his brain off to play our Charisma-only kinda short king, know all the cheat codes for the main campaign. It's kind of like why how, even if the DM will control an absent player during RP, they usually have another player control in combat.

I don't mind that the Bells Hells portion was short. I think the choice to break where they did makes sense given everything else that went on. But I think that, criticism of the actual Crown Keepers portion aside, while you might have lost some of your audience for a Crown Keepers-only episode on the main feed, you would have preserved the drama of FCG's death better and gotten people more excited for the Crown Keepers if you had essentially run things exactly as done here but then just cut the two episodes together, which, as a pre-taped medium, they can now do! Hindsight is again 20-20 but: Run the first half of 92 as is. Break and tape a full Crown Keepers episode. Return to Bells Hells and narrate the message back from Dorian saying he'll be there, play out the rest of Bells Hells in the camp dealing with FCG's death, and then have Dorian arrive at the very end of that episode and end the episode when the party asks him what's been going on with him, then reveal there will be a Crown Keepers episode. Air your full Crown Keepers episode as episode 93, and then return to the main campaign with 94. It would have been better balanced in terms of time, people who wanted the Crown Keepers to return would have gotten hyped up, and people who dislike them or are neutral would have at least known what to expect and frankly if they skip the episode that's their choice to make. Hell, since there were 2 weeks? Could have even been like "hey, we'll do a Crown Keepers Marathon on Twitch and Youtube on some random weekday" to build up some hype!

So overall my answer is that I agree this wasn't a great creative choice. I don't think this means they shouldn't take big swings! But some will be misses and this was, while not an entire miss for me, at best a walk.

[cringefaecompilation]

Now we know the Wildmother definitely saw Orym use hex, do you think she cares? The warm wind did nothing, but it seemed positive?

I guess I'm wondering if the gods are getting less picky about where their help comes from (e.g. a soldier indebted to a fae hag, or a hollow one) if it helps them not get eaten?

mmm, that's kinda tricky.

the way that aabria played the wildmother made it seem like she wanted to ensure that opal and fy'ra at most made it out in one piece, but otherwise didn't care too much if the rest of the crownkeepers were alright. the gods have their favorites and usually tend to be picky though even now, pelor outright told deanna she needed to sit down and shut up when she questioned him. we can't forget how the primes brushed off cassida when she refused to step down fully from her desire to take out the betrayers, even though she was deeply and unerringly religious in a place that'd get her killed for it. but, y'know, maybe! i'm not sure how melora has soften over the times and who knows if she might be more or less willing to bend if her life is at stake.

but also, here's the thing. when i was watching the episode i did NOT pick up on the warm breeze being the wildmother and thought it was supposed to be the warmth of the room returning as the specter of delilah faded away. and maybe that's on purpose! maybe she wasn't there at all and orym just assumed it was her to try and keep everyone on the pro-gods train!

i'm still of the opinion that orym is not actually pro-gods himself, they're just a very convenient excuse and foothold he has to his "everything ludinus does or wants us to think about is bad and we cannot ever hand anything to him ever" opinion because if ludinus hates the gods, then he must love the gods wholly and make excuses for everything they do, even if they don't actually do anything for him asides hand him positive reinforcement occasionally when he Does A Good and a dope-ass sword.

to a more personal headcanony level: i think the only reason he's so gung-ho about them supporting gods is because he projects his dead family onto them: if someone wants the gods gone or dead, then clearly they're saying his family deserved death. why else keep bringing them up so defensively whenever someone talks about redistributing power from the gods?

[renatogpadilla]

THOUGHTS ON CR3E92 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

- FIRST EVER CR CROSSOVER EPISODE?!

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

- Dariax said "This Flute doesn't play itself anymore." Doriax canon offscreen?

- "After all the handjobs, this is what we mean to you?!" Damn... I mean, I'm glad Opal and Cyrus found a way to relieve stress, Gods know they're both stressed, but damn.

- Ending the episode on Opal Twice-Crowned hitting phase 2 of the boss fight was EVIL!

I love it, @quiddie ! I feel like when this gets animated in a decade or so, we'll get this fight and the fight with Otohan Thull overlayed one on top of the other for a Season Finale or something!

- Raven Queen going two for two on Rogues turned Paladin! Which is great, but now I have to replan Morrighan's moveset for that imaginary Critical Role fighting game that only exists in my head (somebody ask me about it please, I NEED to talk about it!) but at least she gets some Smite options out of the Bunny Hop command jump!

- Dariax is a Bard now too! That's honestly so perfect for Matt! And the fact that both Sorcerers and Bards are Charisma Casters makes me feel like the Synergies are gonna be great!

- Oh, Dorian, wonderful blue king... That's a lot of strength that your Dice will never agree to let you use for anything cool. I missed you SO MUCH!

- Speaking of that imaginary CR fighting game, this just solidified Opal as a puppet character. The tag combos with Ted would be WILD! Think Kenshi from MK1!

- Fy'ra Rai... Just... FY'RA RAI! Gods, I've missed Anjali at the table! Her memory with Opal, her tug-of-war with her thoughts about her sister... THE LAVA WHIP! Nothing sexier than Monks! Except a pissed off Wizard or Druid.

- On the other side of the table, I LOVE the moment the girls all collectively remembered they had to break the news to Frida... Oh, that's gonna hurt BAD!

- Anyone else noticed that Ashton is BURNT OUT and laying on the ground after his Titan form wears off, but Fearne just says she's really tired and just KEEPS GOING? Ashton is DONE for now, but Fearne needs to keep moving forward... Fuck, I love these two.

- Orym... Just... Orym. If you take a level in Barbarian after this, I wouldn't blame you.

- Side-Note: This means Dorian DID get Orym's last message before they went to the moon! He just didn't/couldn't answer! Which means, through the static and everything, Dorian COULD hear Orym! And now he's probably gonna get this message once the battle is over... Jesus, if they get to Zephra and Keyleth went to the Lodge next to the lake that's gonna be a problem...

- Side-Note Side-Note: Anyone else hoping to GOD that Allura called the Nein to help? Cause Beau and Caleb were involved, but now it feels like an "All Hands on Deck" situation, and we could use Kingsley's small army of pirates right about now...

- So much happened this episode between the grieving and the flashbacks and the rolling for handjobs that I didn't have time to process the splinter cell of Xhorhasians that split their soul in twain until I woke up... Opal may have forgotten, but maybe Ted hasn't? Though if they're the same person, maybe they both forgot...

- Aabria, the corrupting of the Memories was FOUL, I LOVE IT!!!

- Somebody needs to tell Essek about the soul-splitters. In fact, let's get to that while we deal with Ashton too!

- IF OPAL DIES, AMY CAN COME OVER AS DENI$E! Like, I don't WANT her to die, but Westruun isn't that far... 👀

- I just realized this is the first ever FULL episode of CR without Sam at the table... Fuck, man, when it hurts it hurts. Glad Marisha brought back the fan.

"Forgot the Consonants?" "No Letters." OUCH, MISS RAY, WHAT THE FUCK?!

- Raven Queen Paladins hasting themselves first thing in the fight. Vax is back, and he's a Bunny Girl now!

- I like that the Crownkeepers are a two-way Overwatch reunion (McCree Cassidy and Symmetra) and a three-way Persona 5 reunion (Yusuke, Ann Futaba and Akechi).

- Everything was so fucked this episode that everything with Liliana got knocked to the background for me, THAT'S how good it was!

- The SECOND Evoroa said Ludinos was on Exandria I knew EXACTLY where he would be! Now we HAVE to get the Nein involved, right? Unless the bastard makes the city float again...

I cannot WAIT for the next episode! And if Sam brings a new character when all the groups are together, it would be SPECTACULAR! I'm guessing he's going to play one of the moon races, because that just sounds cool... Either that or Tary!

[your-turn-to-role]

so im getting to the end of my finally watching exu calamity

for the most part i haven't really made posts on my reactions here bc most of what i'd have to say has already been said, i've been seeing those meta posts around since calamity came out

but god the one unexpected thing about loquatius and laerryn i can't get over is just all of aabria's little reactions to quay's choices here

like. i know laerryn loves him as much as he loves her, but she's not good at showing it. she's deeply pragmatic, which means while loquatius is having huge moment after huge moment illustrating just how much he's willing to sacrifice for her, she's making sure she can do her job. because she has to. even if that means leaving him to die in the calix chamber, because she couldn't have saved him, and if she died trying then the whole world would be lost

but at the same time, she did all of this for him. it was so important to her to finish the leywright that solstice, because she has a longer lifespan than quay, and he wouldn't be with her to see the next one. she was distraught when she felt him slip away from her over the telepathic bond, even though she'd chosen to let it happen

part of the reason their marriage failed the first time is they just don't talk. there's so little communication between the two, not just on laerryn's side. quay has the big moments, yes, but how many of those does laerryn even know happened? she doesn't know that he fired elena to protect her from being blamed for evandrin. she doesn't know he prerecorded a broadcast to be played in the event of his death, that would tell the city not about laerryn's mistakes, but that it was loquatius himself who failed them, and laerryn tried everything she could to save the city. she doesn't know that he turned down a call from his queen and his family to come home and be protected from the apocalypse, bc he'd rather die trying to save laerryn, avalir, and his new family, than live without them

but aabria does.

and that gives way to the tiniest most hard hitting fourth wall breaks

like when quay turns his back on the seelie queen's offer - aabria immediately gives a small "no, no, you have to go"

laerryn needs him here. the story needs him here. there is no benefit to quay leaving, except that quay would be alive, and that's what laerryn desparantly wants, so it comes out in aabria

when we get to the climax, too, the big fight where all they're trying to do is keep laerryn alive long enough to activate the leywright, and it gets to quay's last turn? the first thing aabria says is "run. run."

laerryn is pragmatic. aabria knows this is a tragedy, and has been so far the most gung ho about playing into the tragedy. from a pragmatic perspective, loquatius should stay with laerryn, it gives the world a better chance of survival. narratively, loquatius should stay with laerryn bc that's how this story is supposed to go. and personally, loquatius should stay with laerryn because he can't bear to do anything else

but twice, she tells him to leave. because in this story where every single character is forced to reckon with which they love more, their city or their family - laerryn chose the city once. more than once. here at the end of all things, she won't do it again

[genderless-ghost]

watching the four sided dive up to ep 93 just made me so happy with all of the behind the scenes info about everything but it especially made me so happy with the discussions about orym since he is my fave from campaign 3.

just his arc being the soldier arc, he’s not getting worse he is just being ground down by the stakes and war. liam saying he is trying to keep his light but he is being ground down and aimee made a point of saying his wounds were being reopened and that’s exactly what it is. he was made to be a protector and he is in the position where he’s protecting so much more now and has more people he cares about to protect, specifically against the threat that set him on this journey

it’s also so nice seeing liam’s thoughts because while all of bells hells are broken and that is how they connected to each other, orym is a lot more reserved and shy about how he feels; he internalizes a lot of his issues because the others are a lot more visible and messy about their issues and he feels he has to keep his stuff tucked away to protect them and help with their issues. and i think that makes a lot of the others, unintentionally, think he has his shit together more and they don’t check because they think he’s good. like i love bells hells, but it has to have hurt a lot to have to consistently remind the others that his family was murdered for a test run by these people. and he is reasonably frustrated that ludinus and the others are so sure that things will be fine without the gods but look at their track record and their agendas with no guarantee that it will go well, with the damage going to the ordinary folks.

he has so much care and empathy for the others and i really want to see him releasing some of those pent up feelings he has, especially regarding the deal he made with nana morri to keep everyone safe at his own expense. like his whole thing is keeping the others safe at his own expense, taking hits so they don’t have to. i think maybe his husband did that for him and it ended up being a hit he couldn’t come back from due the poison thull used, and i think it’s highly possible orym could die and it would be from taking a hit he couldn’t come back from to save one of the others.

i also just am so excited for a full dorian orym conversation because he has been kind of mythologizing dorian and missing him so much and especially with liam saying that orym does have feelings for dorian he just doesn’t think it’s reciprocated or mutual, it’s gonna be so good, especially with liam saying that dorian has been a light that’s helping him keep going.

(unrelated but aabria saying that laerryn is wandering the astral sea looking for evandrin, how dare you keep breaking my heart, and matt’s best case scenario for dariax also broke my heart: he’s waiting for them to come back and find him, if they don’t he could be manipulated down some dark paths)

[0hcicero]

Ok, ok, ok, first, I need to preface. I love both Suvi and Amé as characters, and I love how Aabria and Erica are playing them. It’s meaty, it’s complex, it’s complicated, and they are crafting imperfect and really authentic characters, and clearly have so much trust between them as friends and scene partners to play in uncomfortable spaces, and it can’t be understated.

That said, OH MY GOD I JUST WANT THEM TO YELL AT EACH OTHER!!!! Both of them! Not just Suvi, who is most likely to let out her frustrations and her ire, but also Amé who is *least* likely to. They both just push so hard on each other’s wounds in a way that would be so much less painful were they not so deeply tied and if they didn’t care so deeply about each other.

Suvi’s need to externalize judgement, her need for control, and her need to confer blame (mainly on others) clearly are deep-seated symptoms of the trauma she endured as a child, losing her parents, and growing up in an environment and culture that is grounded in control, action, and externalizing judgement on others (e.g., guid mage vs citadel wizards, witches as lesser, spirits as resources, other nations’ magic as bad/wrong and other nation’s choices as justification for war and violent action - not saying in some cases unwarranted but just laying out the logic). The loss of her parents outside the citadel makes the world feel unsafe, and as a way to counteract that fear, she leans so hard into that control, blame, and judgement, and it pushes into Amé’s own wounds of shame, guilt, and people-pleasing, and lack of boundaries/inability to state her boundaries.

Amé grew up internalizing blame, other people’s emotions, and taking accountability and responsibility for others, in many cases, over her own needs and wants. Amé’s family gave her up because she was a witch. She blamed herself and holds still an incredible amount of shame simply for being who she *is*. The village treated her as an outsider, and her abandonment issues are clear triggers for her people-pleasing, her lack of/inability to state her boundaries, and why sometimes after relenting and following others’ course, it seems like she just snaps and has to do her own thing, the thing she’s been hinting at, quietly requesting, or wheedling for.

It was inevitable that in finding each other as young adults, our witch and wizard would be grinding and grating against each other’s rough edges. Suvi’s immediate stress response is fight, and Amé’s stress response is freeze and fawn. Those are hard to reconcile!

Without Amé clearly stating her needs, wants, and boundaries, Suvi has no real ability to map her control within the relationship, which would naturally lead to insecurity in it for her - the woman who needs to understand everything, black and white, no grey to muddy the waters. Without Amé to push back against Suvi’s judgements and blaming, Suvi further loses her openness to the world outside the citadel, instead, retreating into the comfort and safety the mentality of the citadel breeds.

Meanwhile, with Suvi’s judgements and ultimatums, it pushes Amé (who is so used to internalizing shame and reading others to navigate social dynamics in both her role as a witch and as a people pleaser) to shrink and apologize for her needs and wants, and to further take responsibility for the actions and behaviour of others (e.g., Ursulon’s safety after they were separated, after Suvi essentially sicc’ed the guard on them). At some point, the resentment will build so strongly it will become destructive, either to her or to someone else, but, and this is the thing that kills me, likely not Suvi, because she is the one that Amé is seeking approval from right now! She’s so deep in it, I worry that she won’t start asking if Suvi is the person she needs approval from, and why it matters so much for her. I worry that she will be able to intellectualize boundaries and psychological concepts, help others find their way to them, and yet never internalize them for herself.

The thing is, these two *need* each other! Suvi’s boundaries are so strong and reinforced, and she defends her personal sovereignty with tooth and claw - and my GOD does Amé need to learn how to do that, even if it will result in some inevitably tense and uncomfortable conversations for the both of them. Amé is a font of curiosity and non-judgement, of honest wonder, and what a joy that would be for Suvi to adopt - to be able to engage with the world not through a lens of fear or insecurity, because the world she has known has been dangerous, but instead through a lens of curiosity, because the world is surprising and joyful, and sometimes not having the answer means the journey of wonder gets to continue!

Can you imagine how beautiful it’ll be when they learn to balance each other? Amé, a confident witch who is not afraid to state her needs and make choices without guilt! Suvi, a wizard operating from curiosity, not fear, who lives not for the period at the end of a sentence, but the marginalia embroidering it!

Ah god, I’m not even through this episode and I had to take an hour to write my thoughts about it down. Gosh dang it Worlds Beyond Number, ya done got me by the throat on this one, y’all.

[raven-quill-and-willow-wand]

It seems that the gods are trying to “accumulate champions,” so to speak, and given what we know about the history of Predathos’s imprisonment, I don’t think it is entirely inconceivable that the remaining Crown Keepers could come back later to assist in the final battle, whenever that happens. Either that, or they could be enemies Bell’s Hells fight if they side with Predathos instead, but I don’t see that as a likely scenario.

No matter what, even if they do eventually side with Predathos, that will be after taking down Ludinus because there’s no way they’ll join him after everything that’s happened. I would love so much for the Crown Keepers to come back one more time before the end of the campaign. I know they’re a polarizing group, but I love them and I enjoy Aabria Iyengar as DM (I know, also “controversial,” but I don’t give a fuck because if the cast were not okay with everything she does, she wouldn’t be invited back, and I think that’s the part that all the haters are missing. Besides, I just think she’s a fun and creative DM and brings such a fun and positive energy to the table even when she is actively trying very hard to kill the players; and there’s absolutely no reason to not play fast and loose with the rules.) and want to see the rest of them interact with the main cast in some capacity. They’re an important part of the world and the story, and I also enjoy that the majority of that group were beginners when they started on Exandria Unlimited Prime. How can someone say they honestly do not enjoy the creativity and daring of someone like Aimee at the table who has no concept of what “can” or “can’t” be done in the game?? I also don’t mind things like allowing geas to be cast as a single action spell under the circumstances in the episode because it was a cool moment. Then again, when I DM, I change rules all the time circumstantially, make up new spells and items and for certain NPCs or even occasionally player characters, I’ll “downcast” spells like Aabria MAY or may not have done with the infamous Cone of Cold during the finale of EXU Prime, meaning reduce the damage dice or the effect in some way because there is no lower level similar choice to some of the spells.

Overall, I was thrilled with the last couple episodes! After the intensity of 91, the immediate flood of relief and joy I felt when Aabria strolled in like, “I think I’ll take it from here,” was such a welcome change because I knew it was just going to be something most likely simple and easily contained to a single session or two, and it was going to be fun. I also just like having guests because they add different layer to the dynamic. I do wish we could have more recurring guests like how Zahra and Kash came back over and over throughout the first campaign, but we can’t have everything we want. That was really my only meaningful critique of The Mighty Nein. I hoped so badly to see some of the characters again, but the only one who came back again at a later time was Shakastë, who was fun, of course, but I would have loved to see the others again as well, like Twiggy! She was intriguing and cute but also possibly sinister all at the time, and I wanted to know more about her! Anyway, I’m so glad I caught up! I was behind for a few months.

[winterferger]

Idle thought of the day.

I am bisexual. I am attracted to both men and women.

Even before I knew this about myself, back before I knew I was attracted to anyone, I was bullied for being a lesbian or 'into girls' just because I hugged one in public. I received hateful emails from people. I was pushed around, things stolen, gum put in my hair. I think the worst that ever happened to me was, after a relative of mine who worked at the school was brutally attacked at work, my bullies talked very loudly and knowingly about how awesome the attacker was near me.

I've been in queer relationships. I've been insulted for them. I've been called 'the ugly one'. I had this relationship back before gay marriage was legal and, while we didn't ultimately get together, I spent months agonizing over what would happen if I, a disabled person, went into the hospital and couldn't be near a person I loved.

Right now I'm with a man. I don't suddenly find girls unattractive, either. Aabria Iyengar is one of the most gorgeous non-fictitious people alive. I think every version of Peggy Carter is an icon. Terry Farrell was a formative crush for me. None of this has changed.

But I'm committed to a man. So apparently this makes me straight. This makes everything in my past not matter anymore. It doesn't matter if I look in the mirror and still see 'the ugly one'. It doesn't matter if I still flinch at words like 'carpet muncher' as absolutely stupid as that insult is. It doesn't matter if I look at as much Entrapta fanart as I do Drifter fanart. I'm straight now and I've chosen.

Bi erasure hurts, because I do know there's straight privilege but god I wish I had a better support system for what I went through without having to pair it with someone deciding that I'm straight now so it doesn't matter.

[astralleywright]

just want to say im glad for another person on this hellsite who is able to see the nuance of the godhood situation. it's VERY interesting how no one really sees ashtons anger at the pantheon as an issue, beyond some of tumblr, at this point. and while im glad it's secluded to here, it's deeply annoying at this point to act like their belief at this point is ashton' biggest problem. and it's honestly actively harmful to analysis at this point for anyone (many big accounts, especially) to suggest that there arent valid reasons for folk giving their *entire lives* to an anti predathos cause to be cautious when they've often been burned or slighted by the pantheon or its institutions (still reeling from folk calling frida evil for their measured disdain at the gods as if they werent from AEOR.)

oh god the takes on deanna and frida that first week. their perspectives were SO fascinating and complex and layered and a little confused in a very very real way, and so much of the posting about it was just begging for a PC that loved the gods uncritically or assuming they must be secret ruby vanguard spies because they didn't. aabria iyengar's incredible brain is wasted on some of you!!!

and yeah there's this very persistent idea that the, "what have the gods done for me" question, or similarly personal reasons for ambivalence or antipathy towards them, is selfish and wrong. which, given that these things are being said in response to "something is trying to kill the gods and we are risking literally everything to save them", is insane, but i also think it's not really fair under normal circumstances either? given how deeply individualized a relationship with one of the gods can be in exandria, and the fact that they clearly play favorites with mortals, and pick and choose whose calls to answer, and can literally grant whoever they want the power not just to bring people back to life but also murder them a bunch, it actually feels extremely reasonable to think they suck. they're unaccountable (to you) arbiters of an unfair system!!

but somehow the fact that the gods are flawed gets used to shield them from criticism; it's a reminder that they're just like people, which means that they should be forgiven and understood like people, and saved like people. they can't do everything, they're just trying their best, they have their own feelings. and because they're like people, they deserve to maintain the massive amounts of power they hold over all other people and should be revered and respected and not have their actions questioned, i guess?

it really is a shame, because it feels like there is so much fascinating discussion and meta that could be had on this topic if people weren't so intent on defending the gods no matter what, often twisting the narrative being presented to do so, and casting characters as objective and reasonable or selfish and irrational based on where their opinions lie (see liam repeatedly saying orym's opinion on the gods debate is deeply biased on 4sd, only for fans to continue to treat him as the measured voice of reason.) instead we're stuck with, "laudna shouldn't hate the gods because of her previous treatment by clerics (it was her fault anyways for being scary and dead), but she should support the gods because a cleric brought her back to unlife." sad!

[pstelwitchcraft]

Critical Role - C3EP52 (After the break)

We're back with more Sending fails!

F.r.i.d.a looks so cool i love themmm

Also the kids are starting to get strong i love it

Feels like yesterday when imogen had like, 10 hit points

Also this is absolutely the leylines being fucked

Something happened and magic everywhere is going heywire

I'm now convinced the exaltants are being "awakened" to be Predathos' army and it's all gonna go balls to the wall

Imogen has to be this campaign's double agent right? They're absolutely gonna have to fight her at some point and it's gonna wreck me

Now that I think about it does it mean they'll have to fight fearne too??? 😳

i'm getting vibes from imogen and f.r.i.d.a and i don't hate it? 👀

Exandria's Greatest Bake-Off: Pike Trickfoot vs. FCG and their easy-bake oven

Ooooo fearne has pass without a trace now? Thank God

Once again i got sad we won't see marisha, liam and tal tonight 😔 hope we have robbie with them tho, maybe even more people from EXU?? I hope we get to see Opal!

Chetney still struggling 😅

I don't know Dustel but I f*cking hate him 🤬

Chetney backstory finally!

Don't get me wrong I'm very excited but I knew it was gonna be some bullshit 🤣

Travis is NOT here for anything serious this campaign AT ALL

He "kneecaped" someone?????

Aabria somehow has great chemistry with everybody she ever roleplays with it's the Iyengar effect istg

That little talk with chet was so cute

And then... fearne tells deanna he has horrible diarrhea

They keep making it worse 😅

This IS indeed a wild group to meet out of nowhere

"Be nice to us, we're trying our best" 🤣 they're so stupid but I love them sm 💖

This is probably the most vulnerable and reasonable FCG has been all campaign for real

I don't think the real problem here is whether or not the gods are good, it's whether or not the Godeater is good, and even before we worry about that, it's about whether or not its gonna wreck everything and everyone in it's path to the Gods

Imogen herself is most likely gonna die for whatever this whole thing is if they let it happen

Like are we really willing to do all this shit and possibly extinguish all life on Exandria when you could like... not worship the Gods? It's not like they're forced to or smtg

Wait. WAIT. So if Ruidus is wherever (whenever?) the other half of the group is and it's NOT in Exandria anymore there are really only two possibilities for where the others are: back in time or in another realm and both are big problems for us

Matt please let my babies see each other I'm getting sad rn

Oh shiiiiiit this is a big big mess yall 😳

So ruidus is in exandria it just doesn't move?? So the others are actually still in Marquet then

It's the Reilora 😱 this is baaad

Yup, they're already trying to pull her to the dark side. This is gonna be a mess. I'm preemptively so upset for how much this is going to hurt.

I have a feeling this is how they really got to Liliana and all those people. Whatever Predathos is, it has some sort of pull on people that makes them want to give into it, specially the ruidusborn and even more specially the exaltants.

Do not listen to the robot right now

Laudna would be slapping yall in the face for even SUGGESTING IT

Do NOT let Imogen go into the freaking alien godeater hivemind or so help me GOD

See? This is why I get worried when they're separated they're like each other's emotional support pet, two days and Imogen is already considering going into the damn light

This scene with f.r.i.d.a is giving that scene from twilight without the homoerotic undressing

Why, why would he go to chetney alone like that?? He has almost taken half the party once this is BAD!

Tho we know robot boy is a heavy hitter so I guess it could go either way🤷

This is the only place where we can get heartfelt, beautiful monologues about the meaning of death and life and morning toot in the same episode and that's why I love this show

This fight is giving one of those old chihuahuas that keep snapping at your ankles but that has for some reason taken a burning passion rage against your robot vacuum

Also you can't convince me a dog wouldn't absolutely hate this thing

It would just feel like a threat, this weird human that isn't human and it can mimick stuff but also it sounds weird? My dogs would go NUTS

Listen. I'll be a chetney apologist for this one. I'm a wildlife veterinarian and animal behaviorist and idk where dude thought he was gonna get off approaching a wolf like that, or honestly approaching him alone at all

Surprising he survived all this time in wildemont tbh but I'll give him a pass bc it's is D&D

Love that Deanna is so horrified by them when this is not even the full party 😅 like, ma'am we're missing- *checks notes* one tree/cadaver/goo person, a magic rock rainbow sparkle barbarian and a 4ft tall widowed ballerina that is prob covered in monster blood as we speak 😀

Final thoughts:

Overall I loved this one, it was light and fun and everything I needed after all the stress from the last few weeks

I also enjoyed the split party dynamic more than I thought it would and I am hopeful it's gonna lead to some good things in the long run

It's a bold move ngl. One of the quintessential, funnest things about D&D parties is the found family, the unity of it all, it's seeing them spend time with each other and develop different dynamics, games, inside jokes

In any other situation it might alienate party members from each other and make it not feel as cohesive, maybe even jeopardize the forming of a tight bond.

But with Bell's Hells we have such close pairings that this almost feels like it has to be done

Fearne and Orym, FCG and Ashton, Laudna and Imogen are all pairings that came together and rely deeply on each other, to the point where it felt a little stiffening to the other members of the group bc these people very rarely sought deeper companionship and support from anyone other than their initial pairing

Also we can get a closer look at Chetney's backstory and hopefully Ashton's next episode when I'm hoping we'll see how the others are doing

I also was hoping there would be some time fuckery or realm travel and still kind of am, but it's sounding like the other half of the Hells were still in Marquet by the end of 52

If they are still in close proximity to the beam it's going to be a mess and I have no idea what to expect but chaos, specially since they can't call the others and I'm guessing shit is going DOWN over there

If they are indeed in the shadowfell, close to the key that Beau and Caleb tried to take down, I wonder if they could go after that connection and weaken whatever they are doing to Ruidus, hopefully even sever that connection completely.

[nochi-quinn]

campaign 3 episode 53: what a load. what a load of. a load of b

we never should have given sam the power of pre-recording

matt said if they're gonna make me do a movie ad I'm doing it in the goofiest way possible

I apparently need to watch that 4sd, shortonegaming keeps streaming on tuesdays so I missed it

laura squinting at the prompter

well-oiled machine

I need someone to report on the texture of that blanket

I do NOT have the money for it but god do I want it

aabria has claimed the blanket

"oh shit I bited the robit"

"no wait I'm mad at you"

I am fully walking around looking for my crochet hook during this lsdkjfls

half fucked-up, half fuckable

oh, having to make sure an area is safe for "our kind" is. hmm.

dial it back, is what I'm getting at

starlight express

werefaun

just tendiiiing

(tiktok references nobody but me understands)

HA

(found my crochet hook)

mental whisper gossip network

"can I have advantage?" "just 'cause?"

deanna can only be heard by dogs

"I fall asleep" mood

I am begging matt to just say "houses"

"how long have you lived here?" "what a fun question"

"roll vibe check"

department store junes showed up here last december and proceeded to devour all our economic slack

"there's too much stuff in my brain, sometimes it just jumps out!" mood

imogen :(

travis: sheepishly nothing motherfucker 🔪🔪🔪

oh my god you can't just ask people why they're fauns

"alimony payment"

tilda swinton

I typed it as they were saying it lkadjfls

uwuessa

(fun story, my partner had uvulitus, but when I texted his wife about it she immediately sent back "UWUITIS?" so that was my twitter name for a while)

surely it's common knowledge that he's been under investigation

"we don't just have a druid part of the city!" why not, vasselheim does

"I don't know to be offended by that phrase"

oh. oh shit. hm. don't love that.

"I found a bag of skittles in a desk drawer and I've done nothing but eat the whole bag"

oh shit does trent's collar still work?? like I know that's small potatoes comparatively but

chetney looting like in tlou

mines? mines collapsing? ungood?

"you just hate gluten as a person?"

hmmm. unlike.

from within the palace?

BULLETS COME DOWN

"you're light an orym!"

okay I now actively dislike fcg

or at least the way sam is playing him currently

maybe I just have religious trauma idk

statue?? cursed statue???

all I'm picturing is a silver lynel

rogues are whatever

wait like zerxus' griffon?

I actually looked it up lmao, it's what the Savalirwood used to be called

she's not gonna heal you bro

oh that's a cool mini, I hate it

your badge, show him your fuckin badge!

are they within ten feet of me

"did you just roll a bunch of dice?" "no, I'm looking for more d10s" "MORE d10s?!"

jeSUS

[travis voice] there's too many diCE TO ROLL, MARISHA

oh wow, she showed him her fuckin badge

okay somebody draw the wall street bull

"and because you're fearne"

"I think frida's falling in love with fearne" "who doesn't?"

I love when travis' internal notes kick in

I think I might love umudara

a good boy!

"you made me sit between my exes and my dice are nervous!"

extra calming of extra emotions

cast valium

when you hide for three hours after going on a rampage in skyrim

I love her

"you passed everything"

can I just state how extremely HERE I am for the concept of all the old creatures and myths and mystical beasts coming back

The Magic Comes Back my beloved

"it might not be there anymore but we don't know that"

…what if what fucked up the savalirwood gets unfucked too

everything's on the table! total setting shift!

[starlingmusing]

Hey hey Secret Santa here to ask you what your favorite tv show or movie and the favorite fc in it is?

omg hi 🥰 so i will have to preface that i am one of the worst people to ask this question to because my favorites change so often or (more realistically) i just plain forget BUT! i definitely have some that at least immediately came to mind so i'll jot those down! 💗

sense8: bae doona, son sukku, alfonso herrera, freema agyeman

bridgerton/queen charlotte: simone ashley (god i love her sooo much), charithra chandran, yerin ha (i know she's in s4 but i already know that i will love her with my entire being), arsema thomas

i also watch a lot of dimension 20 so some favorites there are erika ishii, lou wilson, and aabria iyengar

everything everywhere all at once: literally the main three i love them so much--michelle yeoh, ke huy quan, stephanie hsu

crazy rich asians: sonoya mizuno, gemma chan (if any of my rp friends know anything about me, it is that gemma chan is the loml and my comfort fc)

[hotshotsxyz]

(i hope its okay for me to now be annoying in ur inbox about d20 but i dont have a ton of friends who watch the show so im always excited when i find out someone watches the show)

how many campaigns outside of fantasy high have you seen if any? have you seen a court of fey and flowers thats one of my favorite non main campaigns. (anything aabria dms is exquisite imo)

also god im so obsessed with all the choices theyre making this season in fantasy high im so glad we got a third season after all this time i love the bad kids soooo much

also god now we're gonna have back to back nights of absolutely insane episodes between wednesday fantasy high and thursday 911. im so excited aklsjgasjgd my brain is flipping between the two at rapid paces. if it were a lightswitch i would be at a rave mentally. lou just needs to pull the trigger on canon bi fabian and then ill have two for two on beloved shows where a beloved main character who is soooo bicoded realizes theyre bi this year.

im also obsessed with everything ally is doing with kristen this season. ESPECIALLY this new relationship with gertie. im full beesbees. the fact that gertie is a sworn nemesis with fabian only makes it better imo.

next week is gonna be so wild i was already so fucking excited for next wednesday night and now ive got thursday night to look forward to as well and just. AHHHHHHH

okay i could ramble about the bad kids. forever potentially. ill cut myself off there.

see you at basrar's <3

Yes PLEASE keep talking to me about dimension 20 I love it with my whole heart

I’ve seen all of it (except shriek week lol) and yessss acofaf is such a banger, Aabria can do no wrong imo

Having FHJY and 911 airing at the same time is actually going to melt my brain I think lmao bc yesss this season has been so freaking good. I can’t get over Adaine and Aelwyn’s relationship this season, the fudgy the whale thing was so cute 😭

I could make this extremely long lol but I’m gonna hold off of posting a 12 paragraph essay lmao

Anyway I love this for us