#god i hope i get this fuckening job so i can save up to do that

[chouettecrivaine]

Came from shepherds blog to say your mc lark lore is soo good i love her omg?? And how gagged i am by the fact you came up with the idea of another oc that shares words of power wow .... mind elaborating on ur hc for if they share them, have them individually, more how they met etc? : )

AHHH NONNIE U HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME <3 tysm........i'm so glad you love my special girl....

also the second OC isn't mine!! Qilan belongs to @yuechicake and we come up with their intertwined story together!!! We don't usually go for the same love interests in otome games/VNs/IFs so we find it fun to pretend whatever MCs we create are in the same universe and of course they're besties and lovers and everything in between

BUT for Qilan and Lark specifically, I would LOVE to give you a run down! This is your warning for slight alpha spoilers (although i'm like 99% positive most of it is stuff that's already on the blog through asks and such.)

So basically, their story plays off of the original MC's story in SHOH. Qilan and Lark were made from a final burst of power of the god to increase the likelihood that somebody would be able to save the world from the invasion of Hael. After all, what's better than one hero of Haven? TWO Heros of Haven! They're soulmates, literally and figuratively. Literally one soul cleaved in half with a girl built around each piece. Each other's better (and worse) half. We've come up with a lot of symbolism for them, actually: Lark the sacrificial lamb and Qilan the sacrificing priest; Qilan the sword and Lark the shield; Qilan the hero and Lark the spare. They both are incredibly special and important to the other, but Qilan has survival hardwired into her brain and Lark has it in her head that she's destined to die before the war is over. They play off of each other really well ^u^

We haven't come to a strict number on how many words Qilan and Lark have, but in my head I gave them a singular extra one so that they could both have the canon backstory and use one on their birthday and still start off in the Shepherds with seven. Other than that, they just kinda have to hope they're on the same page about using them lol. And, in true magical girl style, their Words are more powerful when said in unison or when cast when the girls are touching each other. Imagine being a demon and two of the prettiest girls you've ever seen fucken GET YOU with a friendship beam. Embarrassing 😳 

The general rule for what counts is, as long as it's cast at the same time / they decide in unison / they're physically touching when they do it AND it's directed towards the same creature or purpose, it counts as a single Word and is more powerful than if they cast one by themselves. (Generally it is more labor intensive to do this though!) Otherwise, if they use it without knowing the other one is using one / not intending to be doing it in tandem, then the Words are counted separately. Qilan and Lark don't have any rules for the other about using them if one is absent. They trust each other's judgement! If Lark used a word while Qilan was still at base, Qilan wouldn't be mad and would just be glad Lark got back safe (and it would be the same if the roles were switched). They can tell when the other uses a word, like a voice whispers the new count in their head or something.

Also, Qilan's R/O is Chase and Lark's is Trouble, but they're all in a nebulous polycule, the true dynamic of which some of the Shepherds take bets on. (Simplified, Lark and Trouble are a straightforward couple, Qilan and Chase are unspoken forever partners, Lark and Qilan are two halves of the same soul that kiss sometimes, Chase and Trouble are boyfriends in law, and Chase to Lark/Trouble to Qilan are usually “that's my special girl's special boy” and vice versa)

Liya and I haven't set up a 100% true meeting for Qilan and Lark, but in general our current theory goes like this: prior to the job of escorting Prihine, Lark and Qilan were assigned to the same caravan on separate mercenary jobs. Diminished typically are cast to the side during meals and stops, so the two of them wound up near each other inevitably over their own meager fire. At this point in their story, both of them are incredibly guarded. Qilan doesn't let anyone in and charms others before a true conversation can ever really start, and Lark keeps up a distant, polite front without ever reading further into conversations. But they both feel this pull with the other, a sense of comfort and familiarity that they've never had before. They bond, and it all feels natural…a relationship that might not have disastrous consequences. 

(Also, if you look at Liya's blog, you'll see that Qilan is in tune with her sexuality and a lot of times her character is a fun push and pull of power and vulnerability, lust and devotion, etc etc. And since Lark often times occupies the end of the spectrum that is opposed to Qilan......Qilan and Lark definitely banged during the caravan is what I'm saying. Both as a way to demonstrate their closeness and also it's a big deal for Lark to feel that level of comfort so quickly. And also they're literally soulmates and hot of course they're going to)

Anyway, as I mentioned, since their souls are literally mirrored halves, they just kind of....naturally click? Neither of them can explain it, and it's actually incredibly out of character for them to feel so connected to someone at all, let alone so quickly. So they would keep tabs on each other regardless, knowing that this was a soft spot they didn't know how to protect. Luckily they happened to like each other when they met ^u^

When they have to part ways they do so willingly - there isn't a tearful goodbye or anything, because even though they are bonded they aren't quite attached yet - but there still is a secret lingering knowledge that they are connected. That they'll find each other again and again, and now they know who to look for.

Qilan and Lark are pretty comfortable with each other by the time they are both enrolled in the Order, however. They just gravitate towards each other: sitting together during meals, spending time off together, training together, and they probably try to figure out just how connected they are! Soon enough they're inseparable and the Order knows that where one goes, the other will probably be close behind. Even when things get more serious with their R/Os, it's an unspoken rule that they're a package deal lol

And as far as missions go, there isn't really a “canon” for who goes on what mission, it just kinda depends on what we want to write (or what's funniest). For some missions like the investigation into Black Sun, it's easy to imagine they're both on that mission but they took different routes. Maybe Qilan chases after Chase and Lark goes to tell Blade what happened. They would choose together if they went to investigate the factory or the party, but if they choose the factory then Qilan would go with Chase and Lark with Blade and Trouble. Just little things that don't matter much, and it can change on a moment's notice to serve our needs!

Everything else is a vibes based decision! Liya and I have been friends for a while and we know how the other typically likes to write their OCs, plus as friends even if the other does write something OOC it's either a new character trait to consider or the OC just had a “do it for the vine” moment and it works for the fic so it's fine lmao. This is an AU after all and we are both focused more on character-driven oneshots than actually making their placement make sense within the whole story of SHOH. Most of the time we can just pretend they're on the same mission but doing different tasks if we need the girls to be alone with their R/O or something lol

Buuuut yeah!! The tl;dr is that they are soulmates who understand each other on a deeper level than anyone else. They are both parallels and foils. And they should NOT be separated or Blest WILL get blown to pieces.

[tkworks80]

Complex chapter 5

Sorry, this chapter is very short.

Weeks started to melt into months and, before you knew it, it became the same dismal routine day after day, well the upside to this messed up situation was, at least Keigo let you out of the house for day-to-day errands. Even when Keigo ‘worked late nights’ you held everything in and never showed him your true intentions. You were saving money little by little and hid it in a secret bank account that he doesn’t know about. When he got off of work and came straight home you dreaded his footsteps and the jingling of the keys. Your heart sunk to your stomach the moment he wrapped his arms around your waist you had to smile. Keigo snuggled against the back of your neck kissing you while you can smell Ochako’s perfume. This time he is not hiding the affair so shamelessly flaunting his affair with your ex-best friend. “Dinner is on the table, please wash your dish after you're done,” was all you could muster up saying to that heartless creature you called your husband. You pleased the dishcloth on the drying rack and headed to the bedroom. Every time you looked in the bed’s direction you felt nothing but disgust at how he forced you to fuck him over and over again. You had gotten into your nightgown and sat on your side of the bed wondering when you could escape from his clutches. You sighed when you got into the covers and turned off the lights thanking the Gods that the day was over and hoping that you could find someone to help you escape from your soon-to-be ex-husband.

Everything was peaceful throughout the house until Keigo’s phone rang. “hello,” Keigo answered not having shame, and answered the phone.

“Keigo…Izuku knows,” Ochako frantically said.

“Tell that son of a bitch that he messed with the wrong man,” Izuku yelled out into the background.

Getting up from the bed and turning on the bedroom light you turned to Keigo.

“Tell him to shut the fuck up…if he ate more of your pussy then I wouldn’t step in,” Keigo retorted.

“I’m coming over and informing y/n that your fucking her best friend who she loved,” Izuku said then slam the front door.

Now was the time to get rescued from the asshole. It’s time to take advantage of this situation. You know it, and Keigo knows it. Putting a robe on you heard a pounding on the door and before you could reach it Keigo answered it. That was a very wrong move because Keigo was met with a punch in the face and Izuku stepped on the threshold and saw you. He dragged Ochako into the house and you offered them a seat.

“I know why you're here Izuku…and I can truly understand your anger but, can you try not to yell my children are sleeping” you tried to ease his anger by reasoning with him.

Izuku plopped down on the living room sofa as well as Ochako. You faced Ochako.

“Why? Why would you betray me like this Ochako?” you questioned.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” Keigo yelled out.

You turned to Keigo. “Shut up Keigo, just shut up you and that whore are to blame for this mess,” you said in annoyance. Then you turned to Izuku.

“So, Izuku what are you planning on doing?” you asked.

“Well first I am leaving and filing for divorce what about you?” he asked you.

“You know y/n it was beyond me why you had given this man a chance at dating you, he is way older than you that was red flag number one. The moment he laid eyes on you walking down that UA hallway and I have seen him check you out I warned you,” Izuku said with disgust while glaring at Keigo.

“I want to leave as well, Izuku but, I have nowhere to go with my kids,” you sighed out of frustration.

“So, not only you are a fucken predator with y/n but, you financially abused her as well, y/n would’ve been an awesome hero if only you didn’t set your nasty ass eyes on her,” Izuku once again said with disgust.

“You can stay with me…that’s if you want to…I’ll support you financially until you can find a proper job just until you can get off of your feet,” Izuku offered. Your heart fluttered with excitement because you could get out of this messed-up situation.

Keigo was flabbergasted and Ochako’s jaw dropped.

“No, no you can’t leave with the kids,” Keigo interrupted your train of thought and Izuku chimed in.

“So, you think you can have your cake and eat it too…man, no wonder y/n thought she couldn’t leave,” hissed at Keigo.

“Look y/n why don't you pack your things and the kid's things right now and let THEM think of the shit they did to us. But, we both know the moment we leave they just gonna fuck each other,” Izuku said to you.

Y/n got up and went to the hallway closet and took out two suitcases. Keigo looked on horrified. You went straight to your shared room and started to pack some clothes and bare essentials. Then you went to the kids' room and quietly pack some of the kids' clothes and woke them up and bundled them in their blankets. Izuku took the suitcases to his car and helped the kids. All the while Keigo was promising that you will be back and cussing you out. Before you got into Izuku’s car you gave them a middle finger and left.

Keigo slammed the front door shut “Fuck! what the fuck am I going to do without my baby,” he was pacing back and forth. Ochako was trying to calm Keigo down.

In the car with Izuku was cathartic watching him with some tears in his eyes, and knuckles white from the strong grip of the steering wheel. Breaking the silence “Izuku…there is a cabin in the woods that my parents gave me. If you want we could stay there until we can figure things out,” you suggested. He glanced at you and back to the road. “That’s a good idea y/n…there is a 24-hour grocery store we could stop by and get some groceries,” he smiled with tears in his eyes. “Y/n…let’s think that this is a new chapter of our lives, yeah,” he smiled still looking at the road.

Pulling up to the cabin in the early morning hours you took a look at the back seat to your sleeping children and felt your phone buzz in your jacket pocket. You took your phone out and saw it was Keigo. Izuku quickly snatched the phone out of your hand and answered it.

“What do you want cocksucker,” Izuku said.

“Put my wife on the phone…why are you answering her phone anyways?” Keigo hissed.

“Like I said you fucken cunt what the fuck do you want?” Izuku questioned.

“I want my wife and kids back asshole,” Keigo screamed into the phone and y/n heard him.

“That’s too fucken bad you bitch,” Izuku hung up on Keigo.

Keigo slammed the cell phone on the nightstand and stood up from the bed and stomped his way to the closet and put on some clothes. He WILL be searching for that stupid as Deku and y/n. Before he left he saw Ochako sleeping on the sofa in his living room.

“I know that your awake Ochako…LEAVE,” was all Keigo said to her and slammed the door shaking the Keigo’s and y/n’s frame wedding picture.

Taking flight Keigo was wondering where his family went with Izuku. He knew that he did y/n dirty and for that he felt so guilty for it nonetheless, Izuku took his family away. Gritting his teeth he pulled out his phone to call his agency but, paused and thought does he really need the media to know his business? shit, shit, fuck, fuck he thought to himself. If y/n thinks he is going to take this laying down she got another thing coming. He turned to the direction of the cabin y/n owns.

[solardick]

So she’s the girl I’m supposed to come out of the closet to. Sorry girl. Im a queer now. Ive be fagetized. Im going to be alone to the end of dsys now. And this typing is going to continue to be only thing to talk too. Too bad its corrupted by shadow assholes. B cause im just here to be fucked and nothing else. Its the whole readon of being alive. Just being fucked whike having no participation in life.

Dorsnt matter ill be dead soon anyway. If not this year. Then its the next. Or the year after that. But, its comming soon.

I dont want to be apart of a workd tgat promotes torture to suicide as a divine thing. The workd is too fucked ip and corrupted to live in anyway.

I dont care about having a single human connection with anyone anymore.

She’s a burnt out loser. Im a burnt out loser. Whos been fucked for over the last 26 years. Hope she isnt expecting much.

So you’re going to hook me up with the one human race i have zero sexual interest in. Uh.

So human beings have body hair, for the reason of disgust. By-passing the disgust factor trigger tgat keeps moderation on sexual practices. “i wouldn’t eat out a hairy pussy. That shits disgusting!” “ i would sate a girl woth hairy legs or a beard! That shot is disgusting!” When the hornanal starts to fluctuate and activate there is little in the way to jeep the conscious didposition seperate from the instinctual.

I dont want to be apart of a world thst does nothing but lie to me everydingle day. While preaching about the war of misinfiration. And the gay catalyst war with russia.

So far so good, i honestly can’t tell if she’s playing me or not. But she wants sex. And im even less capable bow then o was before.

But, i guess she can take my slut aspects for herself. I don’t want to do that but, whatever. Like anyone cares.

Not much to say on my dearh bed but. Im done. Im beaten. I was born. Fell doemwb the stairs. End of story.

Fuess im not sleepign again either. Too bad i cant lose my job uh? Get fired for sleep deprivation. Sotty until i stop havign a vagina. I cant function.

I dont think im

Going to work anymore. Think im just going to

Stop. Dont rhink j can hold a job anymore. Alchohol and suicide. Indint have a choice. Being abused into suicide.

I almost dies again yesterday.

You come to terms with the fact your being murdered by your entire comminity.

Hahjaah im being murdered. And no one gives a shit.

A bottle of hard stuff and a noose and my problems are over.

Everytime the world puts itself over me to do

What it whats. Which has been a whole. Counting 40 years of never failing. Its never once worked out to my benefit.

Most of it is displacing me from place to place. Being beaten on. Half the time, unfairly. Being drugged. And now wrll its always been to this purpose for the last 20- years or so. Always setting me up to fall. And noone ever coming in to be on my side in anything. If it doesnt allow thrm to be over me one way or another. Even if its just conversationally. Watching ehile everyone knows thinking your an idiot. Not knowing whats comming. Ive known for almost 20 years. God, the internal one, tood me in a dream. All those years ago. As i stand here and watch you guys rape my existance. For something indont even deserve. I dotn want to be alive anymore. So that other people can feel supperior over me. Thats all life has ever been.

If my family ever cared about me they wouldnt have beaten me into suicide.

And the world is never going ti stop fucking with me. I dont have much of a choice but to kill myself do i?

Should tell ger that to. To stay away from me for her own protection. Save that they come after her for supporting me. But she’s in on it anyeay. Somi doesnt matter does it?

Born cursed by this demon. Never knowing what life is. My entire existance. I cant do it anymore.

Wonder if after this their going to beat me into

Another beligerent mess ao they can have an excuse to be me some more.

Should have fucken killed myself when i tirned 35 like i said i would.

What do you mean, the cameras in my appartment watching me every moment of everyday. Zero privacy. So it’s constant pressure. Cant really do anything.

What the childhood sex addiction i had when i was a child. That ruined my life? Killed another life, And the harmed lives of the ones i loved. I dont think i know hoe to live ithout having n addiction.

Your an alcholic whis been sober for the last 25 years? Hey, man i got a case of 24. Want a beer?

Hey you know what. Im going to leave this bottle of whisky here. While me and all my friends treat you like dog shit. And record you.

Well i coild try wuitting smoking again. Gives them one less …someword, to dose me with.

Liok at what it turned my family into. A bunch if inbred retards. Bent on demonic spychopathic, sociopathis bs. And look at what its fone to the rest of the community around me. Turned all of them into the same. Fueled by bs. Acting on bs. Running on hatred. And they all play into it like a bunch of fucken idiots. Slave to thus demon running their lives.

If this continues for much longer i

Not going to survive.

Wow. Im turninf into an asshole. Start shittinf on everyone.

Paid suspension.

What are you doing here. Get out if my van im noy done yet. No, get out im not done yet. Complaint. Fucken femmes.

After listening for 10 months of cursing and swering and throwing shit around. Sexual and racial derogatories. Yeah ok.

Everyone can treat me

Like

Dog shit and rape my existance. Blow dhit out of proportion. Add in their own bs. But, i cant even do anything.

Oh well back to warhammer. Kill some lowlives. Still being fucked. Iust like childhood.

And if and when inmake complaints like yhat. It gets blown right out the window. Doesnt matter.

[chernayawidow]

“And please,” she said, holding her son. “Thank Soldier Boy for us.” — Could this be a turning point for how M.M. sees Ben? 👀

“But M.M.’s attention was drawn to the dusty motherfucker standing near the hallway.” — DUSTY MOTHERFUCKER, that made me WHEEZE!!! 🤣🤣

“He was also flanked by his two hired men, Frank Cardoza and Lorenzo Rivales.” — Awww the gangs back together. Reunited and it feels so good!

“She considered that with a tilt of her head. “Let’s just see what happens here.”” — That’s actually very surprising coming from Grace, are the cogs in her brain already turning?

“Annie and Ben eyed each other with mistrust and annoyance, respectively, but then he ignored her to regard the surgeon with a terse, expectant gaze.” — Annie babe, I don’t think there’s anymore reasons for you to still be mistrusting him right now.

““So why’re you wasting time? Do your fucking job,” Ben snapped.” — I feel so bad for Ben, without her, he has literally nothing left 🥺 and even though we know how this is gonna turn out, I’m still so stressed out about her condition right now 😭

“Loco shared a saddened look with Frank, who watched their boss with a deepening frown.” — I hope they get to have a moment with Pookie, they’re legit her adoptive family at this point. Especially Frank, he’s important to me 😞

““Probably not even then,” Butcher teased. But when he took in the younger man’s face, all he saw was his little brother, Lenny. Butcher sighed.” — I seriously love that you’ve brought up Lenny, and how Butcher sees him in Hughie! It’s such a key part of their bond.

“Neither he or Frank had felt good about it when Antonio brought you back to the mansion in Medellin, but they’d agreed to do a job.” — Fucking Tony, such a bloody wanker 🙄 thank god Ben killed that dipshit!

“Loco gave him a look of offense. “It’s like you don’t know me at all, bro. Fucking hurts.”” — The bromance is so adorable 🫶

“Frank faltered, just for a moment. But he cleared his throat and met her eyes.” — Is daddy Frank gonna get himself a lady? 😏 He gonna rizz her up? 😮‍💨

“Ben gave him a cursory side glance. “She wouldn’t take Compound V. Not even to save her fucking life.”” — This right here really proves how far he’s come.

“All right, get it over here,” he said. “The temporary stuff.” — Okay lmao nevermind, I’m eating my words right now… I thought he was gonna respect her wishes but heh nah 😅

““She’ll be alive to hate me,” he said, more honestly.” — I love this line. He doesn’t want her to die, it’s the last thing he wants. But he cares about her so much that he’d rather she hates him and survives, as opposed to loving him in death.

“Yeah, normal blood. A supe’s blood is stronger. Yours could probably heal her,” Frank said. “But, the only one who can break your skin is you.” — Oh shiiiiiit, fucken oath Frank you smarty pants!!! He’s doing more for her then Jon ever did 🤙

“I’m making a donation,” said Ben. He raised a blunt nail to his wrist. “You better hurry the fuck up, because I’m about to open a vein.” — I WHEEZED!! Ben don’t give a FUCK about formalities 🤣 I literally love it, he’d really do anything to save his girl! If this works I’m gonna be so excited!! But will it give any lingering side effects… 👀

“It was morning by the time another doctor returned to deliver an update on your progress: the “treatment” was working. Your wounds had knitted closed within an hour following the blood transfusion, and you no longer needed surgery. They had also x-rayed your leg and found that the bone was whole once again. Even your broken ribs had healed.” — YES YES YES!! She’s gonna be better, AND she can’t be mad at him for it!

“Grace, Annie, and M.M. stared after him with mixed reactions of confusion and curiosity.” — Do they know that he donated his blood to her?

“Just answer the question. Be honest for once in your motherfuckin’ life,” M.M. said. “Do you really think you’re a hero?” — Is this right here him making sure that Ben’s intentions aren’t malicious, that he legit just wants to help people?

“Grace sighed. She’d expected that reaction. “They’ve given him weeks, but the way he’s been pushing himself, more likely it’s days. Taking the untested Temp V long-term has had its adverse side effects…if you were to make another blood donation, I’ll make it worth your while.” — Ohhhh okay so this is how Ben gets to stay in the states and gets a spot on the team! Everything’s really coming together!

“What kind of masterful drugs are they giving me?” — Just your lover boys super blood, no biggie!

“You found yourself slowly smiling, though your brows still furrowed in surprise. He gave me his blood…instead of Compound V.” — This is literally so cute 🥹

“You grasped the pitcher, but the plastic actually crunched in your hand. You gasped and moved your hand over so the water inside wouldn’t spill all over you.” — I knew it! I wonder if it’s just temporary, it probably is aye?

““Seems you got some of his strength in the deal,” Annie remarked.” — Hell yeah bruva 🤙 Super sex!!!

“Going home,” he said. “To my daughter.” — A very satisfying move for Frank 🫶

“Your hand slid down his arm and slipped into his hand. Your fingers curled around his palm.” — Brb, just gonna go and get some tissues for all this fluff so far 😭💖

“He could’ve easily slipped you V24 again, or worse, the permanent stuff. But he didn’t just save you. He’d respected your wishes.” — Uhhh… yeah let’s go with that! 🫣

“You parted from him, pulling back enough to see his face. There was so much you wanted to say…but maybe right now, it was too much.” — HELL YEAH! 😏 This feels like compensation for the cliff hanger!

““It’s a fair offer, Ben,” you pointed out. His lips pursed in annoyance. But he glanced at your hand in his.” — Exactly, at least your not being booted out of the States anymore and can stay close to Pookie 🤣

“Ben had been fucking livid to learn from Frank that you’d been left alone in the Tower with your father while it was coming down (and Ben was petty enough to dock that little slip up from Frank’s pay).” — There it is 😅 honestly though it’s a fair enough reaction, he knows how Pookie felt about Jon so of course he wouldn’t want her left alone with that asshat. But poor Frank, I’m surprised Loco didn’t get his pay docked too!

“Well, he got a quick death,” he said. “Better than he fucking deserved, far as I’m concerned.” — Ben sweetie, you’re missing the mark a bit…

“So you looked up at Ben, and you nodded. He seemed satisfied by your answer. He turned back fully to the road, but you kept a tight hold of his hand. He allowed it.” — This is all melting my heart, it really feels like things are simmering down now (hopefully I’m not wrong lmaoo).

““Our stuff is ready to be shipped out when the deal closes with the owner,” he added.” — Hmmm so I wonder why they end up in the apartment they have in the following one shot… 🤔

“Well, there’s not too much asking going on, you thought in annoyance. And yet, you blushed; the sentiment in itself was enough to warm you.” — I find it so sweet that he naturally assumes they’ll remain living together, it means (even though we already know, Pookie might not yet) that he wants his life with her mwahahahaha!! 😏🫶

“Ben stared back at you in annoyance. “You need to broaden your palate.”” — His rich boy brain is showing 🤣

“But if it’s not to you…if you’re just passing time with me, until you get bored,” you said, “tell me now. Please.” — Her doubt makes my heart ache, and I completely understand it 🥺

“He captured your chin between his fingers and raised your face up to him.” — THE CHIN THING AWH I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU TO INSERT THAT MOVE IN!!!! 😭💖

“Your smile was soft and bright when you took his hand. Ben wouldn’t admit it, but something in his chest stuttered to life then.” — I’m pretty sure it’s called hope Benjamin, hope for the future because now there’s things to look forward to!

Oh my goodness things are really starting to wrap up and get satisfying endings! I love the way you handled her situation with the blood donation from Ben, that was honestly so creative and such smart thinking! And the way that you used that technique to help with Butcher’s situation? Loved it! And the conversation between M.M. and Ben was very much needed and a long time coming! Also I really really think that the way you had Grace renegotiate with Ben in exchange for helping Butcher was amazing and made so much sense—very in character for her! That sneak peak into next chapter, however, is already shattering my soul and I’m dying to see how that plays out 😭

Love it love it LOVE IT!! 🥹💖

Break Me Down - Part 17

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Female Reader

Summary: You’re a private investigator by trade, but now you happily sit at a desk — leading a surveillance team at Supe Affairs. After managing to end Homelander in New York, Soldier Boy escapes custody. You are recruited for the manhunt, joining Butcher’s team.

Truly, you joined the S.A. for the right reasons. But after you become his accidental hostage, Soldier Boy will break down every single one of them…

AN: *Gives you a box of virtual tissues.* Just in case. 😘

Word Count: 6,000 Tags/Warnings: Macho angst ahead, hurt/comfort, major, major fluff…

Part 17: More Than Words Can Say

Mount Sinai Hospital was one of the largest private hospitals in the city. 

Fortunately, it was also the closest to Vought Tower, or what once had been the focal point of the superhero industry. It had been reduced to mere rubble and whatever dilapidated parts still stood. 

All the news outlets were covering the tower’s collapse, and speculating on what could’ve created the blast that made the entire city tremble—not unlike last year’s incident, when Soldier Boy killed the most powerful supe in the world.

In the hospital, M.M. walked through the Emergency Department until he found Yvette and her son, Devon. They sat beside each other on a single cot, now joined by Yvette’s husband Chris while she signed her discharge papers. She’d gotten off with a minor concussion and a bandage over her temple. 

“Just checking in on you guys,” M.M. said. Yvette smiled, but she asked about you. 

“She’s in surgery,” he told her. 

Yvette nodded, though tears welled up in her eyes. Chris rubbed her back and held his son’s shoulder. 

“Please call me with any news on her,” Yvette asked. 

“You got it,” M.M. said.

“And please,” she said, holding her son. “Thank Soldier Boy for us.”

M.M. paused at that. 

Seeing the family was well in hand, he returned to the trauma wing. There in the waiting room sat the whole team, minus Butcher, who’d been admitted to the hospital as well after the ED doctors didn’t like what they’d found on his lab reports. (But M.M. would look into that later. Hughie was with him now anyway.)

That left Frenchie, Kimiko, and Annie to wait for any news on you. Even Grace had arrived an hour ago. 

But M.M.’s attention was drawn to the dusty motherfucker standing near the hallway. 

Soldier Boy leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. The collar of his supe suit was undone to give his neck and chest some breathing room. He’d removed his gloves, and an empty gallon jug of water lied at his feet. 

He was covered in a fine layer of soot and grime, though he’d since washed his hands and face to the best of his ability. He was also flanked by his two hired men, Frank Cardoza and Lorenzo Rivales. 

Grace had run a quick background check on both, and as M.M. had learned, they were ex-Marines Soldier Boy had picked up in Colombia, while he was busy infiltrating a drug cartel.   

Fucking figures, M.M. thought, shaking his head as he watched the man. Grace stood and joined him.

“He’s not just gonna fuck off back to South America,” he told her. “You realize that right?”

She considered that with a tilt of her head. “Let’s just see what happens here.”

As if right on cue, your surgeon made his way down the hall and over to the waiting group. Ben pushed off the wall and went to meet him, as did Grace, Annie, and M.M. 

Annie and Ben eyed each other with mistrust and annoyance, respectively, but then he ignored her to regard the surgeon with a terse, expectant gaze.  

The doctor was a graying man in his fifties. He seemed to internally brace himself before he spoke, glancing at Ben first before the others. 

“We’ve repaired the damaged muscle around her right leg. The femur is broken. We also addressed the wound near her shoulder,” he said. “However, the rebar did nick her heart. She’ll need additional surgery to repair it.”

Ben sensed a but coming. He crossed his arms. “Okay, what’s the problem?”

The doctor gave a nod and a short sigh. 

“She’s lost a lot of blood,” he explained. “We’ve given her a transfusion, of course, but she’s in a delicate state right now.”

“So why’re you wasting time? Do your fucking job,” Ben snapped. Grace shot him a glance, but addressed the doctor herself.

“What are her odds, doctor?” she asked. Ben eyed her with a glare. She ignored him for the time being. 

“She needs this now. But, there is a chance she won’t make it out of surgery at this stage,” the surgeon replied. “The OR will be available in thirty minutes…so this would be the time to be with her, just in case she’s unable to get through this.”

“Excuse me?” Ben said. 

His tone was dark and deep with grit, and the doctor stepped back. No one dared attempt to hold Ben back, but Grace quickly thanked the doctor and urged him to move forward with prepping you for surgery. 

Loco shared a saddened look with Frank, who watched their boss with a deepening frown. 

Annie turned to Ben with a measure of sympathy, hidden underneath her irritation at his attitude and her worry for you. You were still her friend, and she felt guilty for how cold she’d been treating you lately. And she could see, at the very least, that this man cared about you. 

“Look, can you just calm down a bit? We’re all here hoping she pulls through,” Annie said. 

M.M. stood behind her, silent, supportive. But Ben just ignored her, and everyone else for that matter. 

He stalked down the hallway. And when he turned a corner, out of eyeshot, he growled and punched a hole deep into the closest wall.

Hughie perked up when Butcher finally started to rouse in his hospital bed. They had him on a hefty dose of morphine. 

He blinked his weary eyes, his head rolling over on the pillow. His lips quirked when he noticed Hughie, who was glaring at him. 

“Watching me sleep now?” Butcher remarked. “Pretty fuckin’ creepy, Hugh.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Hughie said. 

That was something Butcher couldn’t refute. He nodded. “I see they told you.”

“When were you gonna say something?” Hughie said. “When you fucking dropped dead?”

“Probably not even then,” Butcher teased. But when he took in the younger man’s face, all he saw was his little brother, Lenny. Butcher sighed. 

“Ain’t nothing any of us can do about it.”

“Fucking cancer?” Hughie said incredulously. “You could’ve gotten treatment.”

“Would’ve bought me a few more months, maybe,” Butcher admitted. That fell between them for a moment with stony silence. 

“It’s all right,” he added. “I’ve had my fucking time. Got to see the life drain from that golden cunt’s eyes…got to let my girl rest easy.”

Hughie didn’t buy that. Or maybe, he just didn’t want to. His eyes burned, both with emotion and determination. He stood from his seat and set out to find Grace. If there was anything that could help Butcher, she would know. 

While the others went down to the cafeteria for a bite to eat, Frank sat in the waiting room with Loco beside him and Dr. Baker’s briefcase on his lap.

He was sorting through its contents while Loco sat with crossed arms and slumping shoulders. He looked over at Frank’s stoic profile with a frown.

He was older, but not by much. They’d gone through one fresh hell after another together, and somehow, Frank always managed to pull their asses out of the wringer. It seemed Frank was trying to do the same for their boss. 

It was funny, actually. Soldier Boy wasn’t their first contractor. You were their first kidnapping though. Neither he or Frank had felt good about it when Antonio brought you back to the mansion in Medellin, but they’d agreed to do a job. Guarding you became part of that job. 

And yet, you had somehow reminded both Frank and Loco that they used to be respectable members of society. They used to have families, friends. They had once been soldiers. Good men. Maybe that was why they’d grown fond of you over the past few months. 

And Frank…well, Loco knew the man had his reasons for wanting to be done with this work. Loco couldn’t blame him; he was feeling tired himself. 

“Found anything good?” Loco asked in Spanish. Frank’s dark brows had drawn together in new interest.

“More than good,” he said. He looked up, but didn’t find Soldier Boy in the waiting room. “Where the hell did he go?”

Loco pointed to the reception desk. “Try asking someone.”

With a sharp sigh, Frank gave Loco the briefcase. “Guard that with your fucking life. Don’t let anyone from the CIA take it from you.”

Loco gave him a look of offense. “It’s like you don’t know me at all, bro. Fucking hurts.” 

Rolling his eyes, Frank got up and went over to the reception desk. 

“Excuse me,” he said. There seemed to be no one at the reception desk. Granted, it was late at night, and they technically weren’t supposed to be there. Grace Mallory had worked out an agreement with the hospital to allow them all to stay overnight. 

He didn’t have to wait too long though, as an on-duty nurse came over with a clipboard in hand. Her red hair caught his eye, along with her pretty smile. 

“Hi there. Can I help you?” she asked. 

Frank faltered, just for a moment. But he cleared his throat and met her eyes. 

“Did you happen to see which way Soldier Boy went?” he asked.

She gave him a wan smile and pointed down the hall, to the left. “That ‘a way. Think he had an argument with the wall over there.”

Frank followed her gaze and caught sight of the hole in the wall. He frowned. 

“Sorry about that,” he said. 

The nurse gave him a sideways look. “No worries, hun. It’s not your fisticuff outline in the wall, now is it?”

Once again, Frank didn’t know quite what to say to her slightly teasing smile. But he returned it, more reserved, but genuine. 

“Thank you,” he said, with a nod. Then he remembered then what he needed to do. 

And he took off brusquely down the hall. 

It took him a few minutes to pull his head together, but Ben eventually worked up his nerve to go and see you. 

You were still drugged out asleep, of course. He stood outside the large window of your private room in the Intensive Care Unit. He wouldn’t go in though. Part of him refused to believe it had gotten to this. 

And the reality, that this was his fault. He’d caused the blast that destroyed the tower. His fault he hadn’t gotten to you sooner.

“You are the reason I needed saving,” you’d told him once. 

You were right then, and it still held up now. 

So, no…he wouldn’t go in there, into your room. The truth was, he couldn’t. 

But Ben’s awareness prickled before he noticed, Frank had joined him. Ben tolerated it. While he wanted to be alone, maybe part of him (one he wouldn’t acknowledge) craved some kind of company. 

“You’ll get paid, don’t you fucking worry,” he said dryly. 

“That’s not the only reason I’m here,” Frank said. 

It felt like a confession. Ben didn’t reply though; he was focused on your pale face, covered by the breathing mask. Shallow puffs of air fogged the inside of it while your heart monitor clipped on.

“There’s another solution here,” Frank said. 

Ben gave him a cursory side glance. “She wouldn’t take Compound V. Not even to save her fucking life.”

“That didn’t stop you before,” Frank mentioned. 

Ben didn’t answer, but he’d been internally debating it ever since he’d spoken with the surgeon. 

“All right, get it over here,” he said. “The temporary stuff.” 

Frank rose a brow. He’d been curious enough to try testing the man. But now, he frowned.

“She won’t forgive you,” he pointed out. 

“What’re you, devil’s fucking advocate? She’ll get the fuck over it,” Ben snapped. 

But after his initial anger subsided…he knew his subordinate was right. 

“She’ll be alive to hate me,” he said, more honestly.  

Frank inclined his head. “There could be another way.” 

Ben glanced over at him. 

“She lost a lot of blood,” Frank said. Ben frowned.  

“They’ve given her fucking blood transfusions—” 

“Yeah, normal blood. A supe’s blood is stronger. Yours could probably heal her,” Frank said. “But, the only one who can break your skin is you.”

Ben eyed him in suspicion. “Who told you that?” 

“Read it somewhere,” Frank said evasively. 

Ben huffed in response, but as that realization truly sunk into his mind, his lips pressed together in new determination. He left Frank to start a brusque pace down the hall. 

He ignored the red-headed nurse calling at him at the reception desk when he shoved through a locked security door, into the OR unit. He searched until he found your surgeon and pulled him from the sink he was washing his hands in.

The man gasped with fright, though he tried to hide it looking up at Ben. “What the hell’re you doing?”

“I’m making a donation,” said Ben. He raised a blunt nail to his wrist. “You better hurry the fuck up, because I’m about to open a vein.”

It was morning by the time another doctor returned to deliver an update on your progress: the “treatment” was working. Your wounds had knitted closed within an hour following the blood transfusion, and you no longer needed surgery. They had also x-rayed your leg and found that the bone was whole once again. Even your broken ribs had healed.

Ben nodded at the news. He didn’t respond, and just started walking down the hall. Grace, Annie, and M.M. stared after him with mixed reactions of confusion and curiosity. 

“Where are you going?” Annie asked. She was exhausted; all of them were. 

The supe ignored her though. M.M. shared a look with her before he decided to follow the man. 

Meanwhile, Ben once again stopped in the middle of the hallway when he was out of view. He took in a slow, steadying breath of relief, his fists clenching at his sides.

“Congratulations. After today, you’re gonna get your statue put back up,” M.M. said.

Ben turned around to stare back at the man, schooling his face into a stoic frown. 

“Yvette and her son are going to be fine, by the way,” M.M. added, as he crossed his arms.

Ben paused slightly at that, filing that information away with secret satisfaction. 

To M.M., he merely raised a brow. “You got something to say, or are you going to keep wasting my fucking time?”  

“You think saving one black kid makes you a hero?” M.M. asked, point blank. “Taking down Vought. Saving her. What does that all mean to you?”

Ben frowned in irritation. “Why the fuck do you care?”

“Just answer the question. Be honest for once in your motherfuckin’ life,” M.M. said. “Do you really think you’re a hero?”

Silence fell between them. 

Ben didn’t know what it was about this guy. Maybe it was his persistence, or the fact that he’d pulled you out of the rubble and got you to a hospital in time to save your life. 

But Ben actually considered the question.

Killing Stan Edgar and Black Noir. Saving you. He’d done it all for selfish reasons. The kid…that was something else. His face stuck in Ben’s mind, how he’d trusted the superhero, like dumb kids were supposed to do.

But in that moment, carrying the tower on his back and knowing he was the only barrier between a mountain of hot rubble and this one kid…Ben hadn’t wanted to fail. 

And still. You are the reason I needed saving…

It wasn’t really saving the fucking day if he started it, was it?

Ben’s lips turned on a humorless smile. Still, he had saved the kid. And his mom. And you. For now, that was enough.

“Looks like I am,” said Ben.

But he met M.M.’s stare, briefly allowing him to glimpse beyond a wall of arrogance and pride.

And Ben walked away. M.M. watched him go in silent contemplation.

Grace intercepted Ben before he could visit you in the ICU. 

Christ. What the fuck now? he thought sourly. 

She gestured for a word, and with an annoyed look, he followed her down the hall.

“I’ll get to the point,” she said. “Butcher is sharing a floor with your girlfriend, down in Oncology.”

Ben raised a brow. That prick had cancer? Par for the fucking course, if he said so himself. 

“So?” he remarked. 

Grace sighed. She’d expected that reaction. “They’ve given him weeks, but the way he’s been pushing himself, more likely it’s days. Taking the untested Temp V long-term has had its adverse side effects…if you were to make another blood donation, I’ll make it worth your while.” 

So now his blood was some fucking wonder drug? Hell no, Ben thought. 

“You’re asking me to save the guy who’s double-crossed me, tried to hunt me down, tried to end me?” he said, with a dark, incredulous chuckle. “You can fuck right off, sweetheart.”

She grated at the sweetheart remark, but Grace leveled him with steely blue eyes.

“If it weren’t for me, you’d be on ice right now,” she pointed out. 

Ben’s lips pursed. He’d really like to snap this bitch’s fucking neck on principle…but then he thought about it. He could work this into his favor. 

“You know what. I’m having a good day, so maybe I’m feeling fucking generous,” he said. His mouth edged into a smirk. “But I think it’s time we renegotiated our contract. Don’t you?”

Grace stared up at him, and she inhaled a deep breath. 

“Fine.”

You slowly woke up in a hospital room, in a paper gown with an IV drip and a heart monitor. Which made sense, as the events of yesterday came back to you in a rush. 

But beyond feeling relieved to be alive, you also felt extremely well-rested. You didn’t feel like a building fell on you. 

What kind of masterful drugs are they giving me? You tried to read your chart on the wall, but you didn’t see any pain medication on there. 

Annie popped into your private recovery room. Her face brightened when she saw that you were awake. 

“Hey, hun! How do you feel?” she asked, lowering into a chair at your bedside. You wouldn’t know that this chair had been occupied by various members of the team over the past few hours, including M.M., Frenchie, Frank, and even Grace. 

“Great, actually,” you replied. But now you frowned. “I shouldn’t feel great.”

You remembered nearly being crushed under a pile of rubble. You remembered falling on a piece of rebar, and unable to move your crushed leg. You remembered the worry in Ben’s eyes… 

And panic stung at yours.

“Did they give me Compound V?” your voice shook when you asked. Annie calmed you down with a shake of her head and a reassuring hand on your arm. 

The door to your room opened once again. Ben’s frame filled up the doorway. When his eyes met yours, your breath caught in your throat. He was still in his supe suit, and with his hands resting on his belt, he strutted inside the room. 

M.M., Frenchie, Frank, Loco, and Kimiko came in behind him and at least looked showered. Ben looked like he hadn’t even done that much, nor slept all night.

“It wasn’t the V,” he said at last. “Just a little blood donation. Seemed to work like a charm.”

His resulting grin had a bit of charm in it as well. Your head tilted in confusion.

"Whose blood?" you asked.

"Mine," he said. His expression faded, slightly more serious.

You found yourself slowly smiling, though your brows still furrowed in surprise. He gave me his blood…instead of Compound V.

While you tried to wrap your mind around the gravity of that, you reached for the pitcher of water on the rolling tray beside you. You grasped the pitcher, but the plastic actually crunched in your hand. You gasped and moved your hand over so the water inside wouldn’t spill all over you.

Ben raised a brow. 

The room fell silent as all eyes stared at you. When the water finished pouring out onto the floor, you gently set it back down on the tray. 

“Seems you got some of his strength in the deal,” Annie remarked. 

“Great, there’s two of them,” Hughie quipped with a grin. 

“Well, that’s probably just temporary,” M.M. sighed. “Hopefully.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh, and it brought a slight grin to Ben’s lips. 

After a bit of well wishing, everyone cleared out of your room to let you rest up…except for Ben, Frank, and Loco. 

“What are you guys going to do now?” you asked of the latter two. Loco cracked his knuckles. 

“Got another job lined up in private security,” he revealed. “I’ve lost the taste for drug running. Nearly lost a damn toe on the last one.”

You laughed. “Well, thanks for doing one more job here.”

“Anything for el Capitán,” Loco said, giving Ben a respectful nod. “He pays exceedingly well.”

You raised a brow at Ben, who shrugged with a cocky grin. Smiling, you turned to Frank, who was sitting in the chair beside your bed. 

“And you?” you asked. Frank gave you a rare smile. 

“Going home,” he said. “To my daughter.”

Your eyes began to sting, but you tried to blink away the beginnings of tears. You nodded and squeezed his arm. 

“Give her a big hug for me. And thank you again…for everything,” you said, even though you realized that thanking your former guard keep was strange. Still, there had been no part of your kidnapping that was normal in the least. 

Frank hesitated, but he covered your hand with his. 

Though he caught the way Ben’s face tightened, and Frank let go of you. He stood with Loco, giving you and Ben a final nod. Then the two men left your room and disappeared down the hall.

Part of you felt melancholy, like chapters of your life were closing. But you also felt like new ones were waiting in the wings.

Your gaze turned to Ben, who stood near your bed.

He was looking over your chart to see if the doctors needed anything else before you were discharged. But your soft voice called to him, earning his attention. You beckoned him closer.

He went over and sat down on the edge of your bed, laying a hand on your thigh. You reached out for his arm. 

“Thank you,” you said. 

Ben scoffed, though a hint of humor glinted in his eyes. “For what? Saving your reckless ass for the millionth time?”

“For saving Yvette and her son,” you replied with a smile. “And yeah, all that other stuff.” 

Your hand slid down his arm and slipped into his hand. Your fingers curled around his palm. 

“Really. Thank you…” 

Tears welled up in your eyes again. You still couldn’t fucking believe he opened up one of his own veins and gave you his blood. He gave a public hospital his blood in order to save you. 

He could’ve easily slipped you V24 again, or worse, the permanent stuff. But he didn’t just save you. He’d respected your wishes. 

What you wanted to say next got stuck in your throat.

Ben had something hiding behind his eyes, like he was reluctant to show you his real emotions. But when he focused on your face, his hand tightened on yours. His jaw clenched, but he didn’t speak. He only let go of your hand to brush a falling tear from your cheek. His lips twitched at a smile.

“Come on now, baby doll. You’re tougher than that.”

You choked on a laugh as more of your tears slipped down your warming cheeks. “Nope. I’m actually not.”

“Hmm. Could’ve fooled me,” Ben said. You matched his grin with a beaming smile of your own.  

Slowly, you pushed yourself up and took his dirty face in your hands. You guided him down to you, and you pressed your lips to his. 

He allowed it with his usual demanding, fervent kiss. But then it slowed. He held your wrist to keep your hand in place on his cheek, and his thumb drew bath and forth over your skin. 

You parted from him, pulling back enough to see his face. There was so much you wanted to say…but maybe right now, it was too much. 

You met him with another tearful kiss.

Before you were officially discharged from the hospital, you had one more visitor. 

Grace was once again there to debrief you. This time though, Ben sat at your side on the bed, a silent statue who regarded the woman coolly. He seemed to be tolerating her presence with more ease than usual, and you wondered why.

“You’re going on medical leave,” she informed you. “For three months, and then a psychiatrist will need to clear you for duty.”

Part of you wanted to argue, considering you were completely healed of your injuries. But you knew you needed a break from the S.A.—from all of this. 

“Your mother and sister will be brought out of witness protection soon, after we determine that the threat is sufficiently neutralized,” she said. “You can return home today as well.”

You could finally go back to your apartment…though the thought didn’t call to you as much as it should have. You glanced over at Ben.

“Is this the part where you try to ship him back to Colombia?” you asked. 

“That was the agreement,” Grace said wryly. You frowned, trying to blink away the tears forming once again in your eyes.

You didn’t want to lose him, but you also didn’t want to give up your life here. You didn’t want to leave the S.A., or your family, or your friends. Ben put you out of your misery, however.

“We renegotiated,” he said. 

Your eyes widened. “What?”

Grace explained, “In exchange for his assistance in another case, he can stay in the U.S. on a trial basis. As long as he agrees to live within the law.”

You didn’t entirely trust Grace. Ben would be watched at every moment. That was a given, but considering he still didn’t have full control over his nuclear power, you were surprised Grace would allow him free roam within U.S. borders. 

“And, provided, he agrees to a relocation. Preferably not in a densely populated area,” Grace added.

There it is, you frowned. You shared a look with him, and you could see he wasn’t entirely on board with this. You had no doubt he’d agreed to her demands by lying through his teeth. 

You turned back to Grace.

“What if he becomes a contractor for Supe Affairs,” you proposed. “There may be some fallout after Vought’s collapse, and more of their records to go through. Other labs to clear out. Ben would be a lot of help, if he’s willing.”

You glanced at Ben again. He met your eyes, then Grace’s, and he nodded marginally. He was getting bored of the heat in South America anyway. 

Grace heaved a sigh. Ben’s lips formed a smirk. 

“Oh, relax. I just ended Vought. You’d be an idiot not to cash in on that PR,” he pointed out. 

“Need I remind you that you caused the tower’s collapse?” Grace said tersely. “And you did not end Vought. There will be repercussions to this, believe me.”

Ben’s face tightened, but you grasped his hand. 

“But he fulfilled the mission,” you said. “He took out Black Noir…and Stan Edgar in the process.”

“The idea was to arrest him, but I get your point,” Grace said. Her hand raised to cover her mouth as she thought about your proposal.

Eventually, she spoke. “If you can play by our rules, then we’ll contract with you. But until you get that atomic bomb under control, you can’t remain the city. Upstate is the best I can do.”

Ben chafed at being told what he couldn’t do. What the fuck was he going to do in Upstate New York? Slowly rot to death in dusty-ass suburbia?

You shot him a knowing look, raising a brow. 

“It’s a fair offer, Ben,” you pointed out. His lips pursed in annoyance. But he glanced at your hand in his.

Then he looked up at Grace. “Fine. But first, unfreeze my fucking bank accounts.”

Ben later led you out of the hospital. There was a car waiting outside, and he got in to drive, despite you offering. He must’ve been going on very little sleep, if any over the past two days. 

And of course, he’d refused to be seen at all medically, saying he was fine. You were still concerned about that destabilizing gun Black Noir had shot him with. 

“I’m fine,” Ben had claimed. “Just need some sleep, that’s all.”

You watched his profile for a moment, and a smile started to raise your lips…until you finally remembered something that felt like a heavy stone in your stomach.

“Um…” you said, earning Ben’s attention. You looked up at him. “My father’s dead…”

Good fucking riddance, was Ben’s initial reaction. Followed by a frown, as he now realized he would never get the pleasure of choking the shit out of Jon himself. 

Ben had been fucking livid to learn from Frank that you’d been left alone in the Tower with your father while it was coming down (and Ben was petty enough to dock that little slip up from Frank’s pay). Had that asshole lived, Ben wouldn’t have put it past him to try and take you with him after escaping the building. The mere thought grated on him. 

“Black Noir killed him,” you said, heaving a shaky breath. 

That cut through Ben’s thoughts. He glanced over, watching you fight some conflicting emotions. 

“…Punched a hole straight through his chest,” you added.

Ben hummed in acknowledgement. You turned to him with a raised brow and glassy eyes. When he realized you were expecting a bit more from him, his lips pursed.

“Well, he got a quick death,” he said. “Better than he fucking deserved, far as I’m concerned.”

You sighed and leaned your head back on the head rest. Your eyes closed. 

“Goddamn it, Ben.”

Ben eyed you with a deepening frown. “What the fuck do you expect me to say?”

“How about some decency?” you asked, as a tear fell down your cheek. “He tried to apologize. But I wouldn’t let him.”

He paused at that. While he thought you were being unreasonable, it begrudgingly dawned on him what you wanted, and maybe, what you needed. He sighed through his nose. Even now, you were a handful.

Ben reached over, taking your hand from your lap. He pressed the back of it to his lips, earning your mild surprise.  

“That’s not your fault,” he said. And he briefly took his eyes off the road to look into yours. “None of it was. You understand me?”

Your face softened. Though you tried to blink away your tears, a few of them still fell. You wiped at them with your free hand, while the other squeezed around his fingers, resting against your thigh. Despite how you were fracturing inside, warmth still kept you afloat. 

So you looked up at Ben, and you nodded. He seemed satisfied by your answer. He turned back fully to the road, but you kept a tight hold of his hand. He allowed it.   

“We’ll have to go to the safe house to get our stuff,” you said eventually, with a small sniffle.

“No need,” Ben said. “That’s taken care of.”

That confused you. Was he taking you to your apartment then? 

But instead, he drove you out of the city, and an hour upstate into Scarsdale. You’d never been there, but you knew it by reputation—as one of the most affluent towns in the state.

You were even more confused when he drove down a street flanked by tall hedges within a private community. He pulled into a circular driveway in front of an immense white house, with a red brick roof, colonial architecture, a manicured lawn, complete with matching fountains lining the front door.

Ben parked the car and encouraged you to get out with him. You followed him up to the front porch, expecting an old billionaire to pop out of the tall bushes at any moment to chase you away. 

“What’re we doing here?” you asked. His hands fell to the belt of his supe suit as he surveyed the stood, the door, and the walls for anything amiss. 

“I’m looking into buying it,” he revealed, as if he’d just told you, It’s pretty fucking sunny today, huh? 

“Our stuff is ready to be shipped out when the deal closes with the owner,” he added.

Your eyes flew wide. “What? When did you have time to scope out houses?” 

You’d only been discharged about an hour after the conversation with Grace. 

“I had Frank look into some shit. He found this one,” Ben shrugged. “Could use some work, but not bad.”

Our stuff, you repeated in your mind. This house…was he trying to recreate what the two of you had in Medellin?

And more importantly, was this his way of asking you to move in with him? 

Well, there’s not too much asking going on, you thought in annoyance. And yet, you blushed; the sentiment in itself was enough to warm you. 

You brought Ben back down to Earth by grasping his hands, earning his attention from the old grout in the tile.

“Ben, this place is amazing,” you said. “But I don’t know if I’ll be comfortable living like this.”

He frowned down at you. “What the hell do you mean? You could have anything you want here. It’s safe. Got plenty of room—”

“A bit too much room,” you said, holding up your thumb and forefinger a couple inches apart. 

He looked adorably grumpy. You smiled and squeezed his hand. 

“Did you really feel cozy and at home in that mansion with fifty rooms and nobody in ‘em?” you asked.

He didn’t answer you, and he didn’t seem happy either. You didn’t want him to take this as a rejection. 

“If we’re going to do this,” you said, “then can we start a little smaller? Somewhere that feels like home to both of us?”

Ben stared back at you in annoyance. “You need to broaden your palate.”

You just managed to stop yourself from laughing.

“You haven’t had a normal home in a long time, Ben,” you replied. Maybe ever, you realized. “How about you trust me?” 

He gave you a dubious frown.

“What about this,” you tried. “Let’s pick it out together! If in a few months you still hate the new place, we’ll try it your way.” 

“You’re assuming we’re gonna make it that long.” Ben was starting to wonder if this was going to work after all. The two of you were from very different worlds. 

You offered a cheeky smile. “I’m optimistic.”

He huffed. “Sure.” 

You reached up on your toes, and gripped the front of his suit when you leaned up to kiss him. His hands rose naturally to hold you, resting on your jean-clad hips. He followed your languid kiss, his furrowed brows relaxing when you touched his cheek.

When you broke from his lips, his eyes opened to find yours. 

“I am, Ben,” you said more seriously. “I’m not playing games. This is real to me, and I want to be with you.” 

But then you hesitated. You lowered back down to your feet. 

“But if it’s not to you…if you’re just passing time with me, until you get bored,” you said, “tell me now. Please.” 

It was Ben’s turn to hesitate. It was the please that got to him, along with your downturned gaze. He captured your chin between his fingers and raised your face up to him. 

“I’m not fucking around,” he said. “I want you to live with me.” 

Your smile was soft and bright when you took his hand. Ben wouldn’t admit it, but something in his chest stuttered to life then.

“Okay,” you said with a nod. “Let’s do it.”

AN: *squeals* It's happening! We've really gotten here, folks. How'd you like how it all wrapped up with Grace, M.M., and even Butcher?

But we're not quite there with these two yet...

Next Time:

“Why’re you nagging me like a goddamn wife?” he snapped.

“Wife?” you scoffed, crossing your arms. “You don’t even call me your girlfriend.”

But God forbid another man even smile in your direction. Ben was possessive, protective, and claimed with all but words that you were his. And yet, he wouldn’t say it.

You shouldn’t have been surprised that he was afraid of commitment, but you’d been living together for six damn months.

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[roguestarsailor]

impressions of six of crows

***spoiler ishh, not plot spoilers but just character interactions throughout the book***

note: I have not read shadow and bone and this is the first book i’m reading in this series so i have no prior knowledge of who these people are or what happened prior to this!!

I adore all these characters in the book! I love how seamlessly everything flowed and its glorious to read. The names were all confusing to me so I had to constantly refer back to the map and the Ice court layout to fully understand everything. I think there were points where I didn’t fully understand the impact because I didn’t read the other books. Talk of the Second army was confusing for me, but I just pushed through. I just love the dynamic of this group and I really really hope they are ok. Please don’t die. Will this author do this to my sensitive heart?? idkk?? 

the heist was so fun and honestly, i dont think the ice court was that well protected haha. it felt like they had so much time to do so many things but it just might be how the story is told. i love stories of trickery and heist and this one did a really good job. I love the backstories getting interwoven together and the plot twists were lovely. I was stressed for kaz though and i was nervous he will “run out of tricks” but it ended up fine. its strange because he is sooo young and hes battling these seasoned professionals and hes gotta navigate this fucked up world. they all have to navigate this fucked up world and i can’t imagine the stress of always looking behind you but also looking at the next 10 steps and then plotting additional scenarios to live. wow. anyways this i was great 10/10!!

Notable scenes include:

“Jesper!”

I’m going to kill that little idiot. “What do you want?” he shouted down.

“Close your eyes!”

“You can’t kiss me from down there, Wylan.”

I LOVE THEM ALREADY! JESPER AND WYLAN IS SO CUTE

“Pull your shirt up over your mouth,” [Jesper] told Wylan.

“What?”

“Stop being dense. You’re cuter when you’re smart.”

Wylan’s cheeks went pink. He scowled and pulled his collar up.

“Discipline. Routine. Does it mean nothing to you? Djel, I can’t wait to have a bed to myself again.”

“Right,” said Nina. “I can feel just how much you hate sleeping next to me. I feel it every morning.”

Matthais flushed bright scarlet. “Why do you have to say things like that?”

“Because I like it when you turn red.”

“It’s disgusting. You don’t need to make everything lewd.”

...

“Despite her fatigue, she trotted ahead of him. “That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want to like a Grisha. You’re scared that if you laugh at my jokes or answer my questions, you might start thinking I’m human. Would that be so terrible?”

“I do like you.”

“What was that?”

“I do like you,” he said angrily.

She’d beamed, feeling a well of pleasure erupt through her, “Now, really, was that so bad?”

“Yes!” he roared.

“Why?”

“Because you’re horrible. You’re loud and lewd and...treacherous.  Brum warned us that Grisha could be charming.”

“Oh, I see. I’m the wicked Grisha seductress. I have beguiled you with my Grisha wiles!”

She poked him in the chest.

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL I FUCKEN LOVE THESE BICKERING IDIOTS. but also nina means so much to me. its so fucken refreshing to see a character who is overweight and can carry herself with so much sass and confidence (because thats what 17 year old me would have wished to be able to channel)!! i love that shes so flirty and especially to someone as stoic as matthais is cute af!! even the author wrote about how much she loves nina: “I probably identify most with Nina. She’s spent her whole life being told she’s too big, too loud, too much--and that’s basically me. I just wish I had Nina’ confidence at seventeen.” she has the kind of sass and big dick energy that comes w having to prove yourself and being shamed and i think thats why she has a special place in my heart!! maybe i’ll go in on my love for nina in another post but ugh i love her

“When we get back to Ketterdam, I’m taking my share, and I’m leaving the Dregs.”

He looked away. “You should. You were always too good for the Barrel.”

It was time to go. “Saints’ speed, Kaz.”

Kaz snagged her wrist. “Inej.” His gloved thumb moved over her pulse, tracing the top of the feather tattoo. “If we don’t make it out, I want you to know...”

She waited.

...

She reached up and touched his cheek...this was the first time she had touched him skin to skin, without the barrier of gloves or coat or shirtsleeves. She let her hand cup his cheek. His skin was cool and damp from the rain. He stayed still but she saw a tremor pass through him as if he were waging a war with himself.

“If we don’t survive this night, I will die unafraid, Kaz. Can you say the same?”

His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough.”

NO I LOVE THEM TOO! KAZ1!!! DO SOMETHING!!! BUT ALSO FUCKEN GOOD FOR YOU INEJ YOU FUCKEN KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE AND IF HE AINT GIVING 100 U DONT WANT IT I LOVE HER TOO

Inej turned to go. Kaz seized her hand, keeping it on the railing. He didn’t look at her. “Stay,” he said, his voice rough stone. “Stay in Ketterdam. Stay with me.”

She looked down at his gloved hand clutching hers. Everything in her wanted to say yes, but she would not settle for so little, not after all she’d been through. “What would be the point?”

He took a breath. “I want you to stay. I want you to...I want you.”

“You want me.” She turned the words over. Gently, she squeezed his hand. “And how will you have me, Kaz?”

He looked at her then, eyes fierce, mouth set. It was the face he wore when he was fighting.

“How will you have me?” she repeated. “Fully clothed, gloves on, your head turned away so our lips can never touch?”

He released her hand, his shoulders bunching, his gaze angry and ashamed as he turned his face to the sea.

Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

Speak, she begged silently. Give me a reason to stay. For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her. She wanted to believe he was worth saving, too.

ITERATE AGAIN, INEJ DONT WANT 90 PERCENT OR 99 PERCENT SHE WANTS 100 OR NOTHING WOW. i mean my shipping heart says NOOO buT shes right. kaz gotta figure out his shit and then share that vulnerability w her and maybe they can be truly together. UGH BUT THIS SCENE my god

Van Eck taunting Wylan and shitting on him for not being able to read was disgusting and i will fight him. I WILL PROTECT WYLAN WITH MY HEART! HES TRYING HIS BEST AND WORKING WITH WHAT HES GOT AND HE SAVED THEM ALL SO MANY TIMES. GET THIS PEDO OUT OF HERE FUCK THIS GUY

“That’s why you disappeared during the journey,” said Jesper. “You weren’t helping Matthais care for Nina. You were hiding.”

“I didn’t hide.”

“You...how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I thought it was Kuwei?”

“Every time.”

pekka rolllins. wow. what a man. i expect great things to happen between kaz and him. i truly did think kaz killed him back in the ice court lol but im glad he saw the grand plan and waited it out. hes a man of patience. i can respect that.

[splicejunction]

Please tell me about shatterstar's Childhood

oh my god anon okay I’m assuming in context of what I’ve recently posted you want like... my version of events rather than what’s canon but just in case I hope you know that there’s basically zero canon material that actually describes his childhood/young adulthood beyond “I was a warrior born” or whatever the fuck. if you want to know about that idk go on the fucken... marvel wiki page or something

also--I hate that I have to put this out here and I doubt anyone would actually do this but just in case--I have spent like 1 million hours thinking about this because I have brain disorders and it is very close to my heart so please do not A) use this in fics, etc without letting me know/getting my permission in advance or B) reblog this post

anyways. this is a can of worms so I’m going to do a cheeky lil

first we have to get something out of the way: I hate the “shatterstar’s his own grandpa” paradox. I am sorry if this angers people but it makes me mad so I ignore it. the reason it bothers me is because it means alison blaire essentially married her grandson, which is A) weird and B) bad from a genetics perspective.

in my version of canon ‘star IS the biological child of longshot and dazzler but longshot wasn’t cloned using ‘star’s DNA because..... oh god... another whole separate post can be made about this but... in my head, on mojoworld the way genetic engineering works is not really the same as it is here. here genetic engineering generally means taking an existing genome and inserting or deleting genes. this is how they make, for example, animals that glow, or confer pesticide resistance to plants.

but on mojoworld I think the way they genetically engineer is more like... the way we mechanically engineer. like the entire organism is built from the ground up. there’s a master genetic blueprint which is essentially the “minimal genome” required for a functioning humanoid. this was created by study of Earth humans by arize and the other genetic engineers. they can then go in and customize by adding elements to the genome that code for the signals/building blocks that control things like height, strength, hair color, eye color, having hollow bones etc. so in my head longshot was sort of... designed with ‘star as the inspiration, but not directly cloned. that wouldn’t even make sense anyways because A) different hair color and B) LONGSHOT HAS 3 FINGERS ON EACH HAND and shatterstar has 4!! thats NOT HOW CLONES WOULD WORK!!!!

(side note, the concept of a minimal functional genome is a real thing in biology! some scientists have taken a bacterium that already has a small genome and reduced it to the minimum size required for viability. here is a wikipedia article on it and here is the original paper (DOI: 10.1126/science.286.5447.2165) which I can explain in more detail because I took a class on synthetic biology which this technically falls under and I had to read this paper very closely).

fuck I’ve written 4 paragraphs and not even talked about his childhood yet. I am so sorry. anyways. so the way I think they raise the gladiators on mojoworld is they create them in batches of 5 to 10 identical copies of a certain “model”, place each copy in a different “class” with a set of 2-3 mentors/teachers, and train them to fight until they are 13 or 14. until this time the only names they have are the names that identify the “model”--like for shatterstar that would be gaveedra-seven where the model identifier is “gaveedra” and he is (in the lore that I have come up with) the 7th of 8 total.

the reason they create multiples and put them in different classes is each mentor is going to have a slightly different style of teaching which is going to work better for some and worse for others, so it allows them to have more mass production while increasing the chances of creating a truly great champion. it’s classic nature versus nurture--the genetic engineers create your nature, but you don’t end up exactly the same as others of your model. maybe you get an edge, maybe you don’t.

another thing that happens is different mentors believe in different ways of raising the kids in their care. shatterstar specifically was raised in a class where there was absolutely zero emotional development at all and no attachments allowed beyond fighting alliances. that’s not the case in all classes, and it also had the effect of making him somewhat of an outsider even within the other gladiators as he got older.

at 13 or 14--and yes I realize this is very fucked up but dude its fucking mojoworld idk what you expected--they start participating in fights. the first ones aren’t to the death and they’re as teams and they’re not usually televised they’re more like high school sports games that are attended by scouts (here, they’re “sponsors”--I think that’s a canonical term but I honestly can’t remember) and if you get sponsored you leave your class and join a new “team” that’s really just a bunch of people who all have the same sponsorship. this is where things can get interesting because they’ve all been raised with slightly different fighting styles but more importantly, slightly different degrees of Personhood.

also at this point I should mention that by this time, there are usually only 2, maybe 3 of each model left. either they died or were recognized as not having talent so they were sent to eventually fulfill other roles in the network. in ‘star’s case there was just him and gaveedra-five. once you get to the stage where you’re sponsored and you’re actually fighting to the death one of the first people you’ll fight is any remaining members of your model group.

by the time you’re the only one left of your group, you’re also eligible to earn a stage name. this usually happens if you have a particularly epic fight with a lot of viewers, you win and the commentators will typically say something like “Let’s give this crowd a real name to cheer!” and they’ll have a few candidate names and they’ll kind of just pick one. AUGH I actually have this scene written out in story form but its too long so I think I’ll save it.... :) 

after you get a name you also get a cool outfit and usually some kind of mark or tattoo that serves as a brand. this brings me to another important point--shatterstar inherited the X-gene from alison and therefore he IS a mutant. his mutation is the swords vibration thing and the glowing eye. the star mark is a tattoo and teleportation is benjamin russell’s mutation (how he fits into all this is... for another post). basically after he got his name the costuming department guys were like “hey your eye glows, you look like the Legendary Warrior of Old, Longshot, we’re gonna pattern your look after him” so they gave him the star tattoo and the outfit that’s literally inverse colors of longshot’s.

also this brings me to another aside: you’re probably wondering “if he’s the biological kid of longshot and alison how are there 8 gaveedras?” when the genetic engineers got a hold on him as a baby they were like Sick! free baby! free genetic material! thats our job done for us! so they cloned him (in the traditional sense) and made 7 copies. this was also to kind of conceal his identity as technically being from outside mojoworld, which would make him stick out and thus be a target. they DID edit out the x-gene in the other gaveedra models though. this wasn’t a problem for ‘star because his mutation didn’t manifest until he was already sponsored.

I think that’s .... pretty much it for macroscopic lore on what it was like to be a kid gladiator on mojoworld. now let me give you some Tidbits of his life specifically:

like I said he was raised in a particularly cold and ruthless class. the mentors that raised him are like well-known by everyone to produce some of the best warriors but also there’s discourse on mojoworld because some people say perfectly emotionless killing machines aren’t as fun to watch. when he was sponsored there were 4-5 others in the same sponsorship and they were like Theres Something Wrong With You LOL

they speak earth languages on mojoworld because they’re imitating the broadcasts they (the spineless ones) used to hear from earth. however, most of the lower-class as well as almost all arena fighters and other television personalities speak cadre or other languages which are native to the planet. the stage names are all vaguely in english, but the gladiators don’t really understand them at first.

shatterstar got his name before he got the glowing eye, and when he learned what stars are, and saw his eye as a little star, he was like wow :) this is Me :) which is why that name is so important to him. it’s also one of the first things that wholly belonged to him.

(you can’t see stars on mojoworld because of light pollution and also because it’s a pocket dimension and there just aren’t that many stars to see)

I hate to bring up the s**ley miniseries but I do think it would be interesting to have him have a sort of ... mentor/first friend, similar to the concept of gringrave but they were NOT in a relationship. it was more like... another kid who was a year or so older than him got a soft spot for him and helped him not be so clueless. she didn’t make as much progress as xforce did, obviously. but they were.... something like friends.

unfortunately she was used by spiral to get shatterstar to murder the first rebel guy who tried to get him out of there. then she got switched sponsors (this can happen) and he had to kill her, and he was like well I will simply never develop any kind of attachment to anyone ever again.

he almost didn’t make it out of the first training session with his sponsorship group (this is semi-canon--there’s a reference when he’s teaching terry to swordfight to almost not surviving the first time he was in a gladiator class or whatever it was).

the closest he ever came to losing was the day he got the name. that’s why the crowds loved it so much.

the double-bladed sword was a gimmick weapon but when he got his mutation they realized it works way better if there’s resonance between two parallel blades so they redesigned it as an actual weapon.

(forgot this but I feel like I should include it) at 17 he escaped the arenas and joined the cadre alliance. two years later he came to earth and joined xforce.

I think that’s going to have to be it for now because it’s literally almost midnight and I have work tomorrow and I did NOT intend to stay up this late but I did. thank you for this opportunity anon :) feel free to ask me any other questions and also I realize a lot of this probably makes no fucking sense and that’s because I am not a writer or anything I’m just a biochemist with brain problems that cause me to obsess over stupid shit

[noraaaaann]

$1700 to Freedom

I used to be anxious about what freedom could buy me. I never thought of freedom as something you could buy either, only something you could earn. I’ve never lived a less than free life but I’ve consolidated my freedom to how much I made. My lifestyle was neither glamorous nor cheap. 

There was a time when I made $13/hr and was living on my own and thought I was having the time of my life, but I was sad because I thought I needed more friends to share my freedom with. Then there was that time $27/hr living on my own in a tiny apartment in San Francisco, with 3 other people and one bathroom. God, I hated my life. I complained and dreaded using the bathroom and how my freedom was spent waiting to pee in my pants. 

All the while I thought back to when I lived with my parents. The horror, thinking my friends were looking down on me because I was a local girl who didn’t have to pay rent, in the beach town of Santa Barbara. How crazy privileged was I? I wanted to know what it felt like to struggle? That mindset didn’t get me far either. I moved to San Francisco. I was a cheapskate who wanted “bang for her buck” and ended up paying only $500 bucks not living out her city girl dreams. 

I was making more money, spending less on rent and I had nothing to show for it. No real freedom I could boast about. Only that I lived in the most expensive city out of all the states. I had no expensive bag to prove I made money, or a group of friends you saw on my IG while we bar hoped, nor did I have a place to host dinner. Not that I even knew how to cook at that time. 

When I turned 30 I thought my life was going to change. I’ve been working that big girl job. I told myself I was going to make 6 figures. And that I did by working 2 jobs endlessly, but when 31 came around and I got the news that 6 figures was no longer a prop dream. I had to ask a lot of questions. Firstly, where the fuck is all my money going? 

The answer was no where I wanted. I finally had money saved up and I finally worked for a financial firm that taught me how important money could be if you saved and invested. Money in the Asian culture is earned then saved. Nothing else. I had to buy new knowledge and spend it like a business. I read books, listened to podcasts and heard my calling. I had to go way back to middle school Nora and ask her what her dreams were and that it was time to bring back that energy.

God, here we go again. The mid-life crisis bullshit again, are we really switching careers again? Fuck no, turned into the only fuck yes I needed. So I had to give it a try. With all that bullshit money I saved for nothing, I moved out of that tiny apartment in SF. I rented a luxury 1 bedroom in a beautiful home in Daly city. You damn right, I moved just outside the city and paid a whopping $1700 with parking to test my freedom. 

What did I learn? Living next to Traders Joes is like a heaven on earth. There are actually streets here where you can park on both sides and still drive down. And not having to squeeze into someone’s driveway to let others pass. It so fucken quiet I could hear my heart beating. The lighting hits different and there’s enough room to have a house plant, although I forget to water it. My neighbors most likely hearing me huffing and puffing through my workouts in the morning. LoFi and tea go better together, fight me on it. I gave up coffee over 4 years ago!

Through so many subtle changes, I noticed that freedom is set by what I want it to be. Grateful journals became a must and I forgot how much I spent to get to this peaceful state I’ve been working on. Its day 16 of 28 of my little experiment and I could say without a flying doubt. I’m making peace with the fact that freedom looks different for other people. Don’t ever tell yourself you need more money or more time. You’ll make money and make time for whats best for you, so do what makes you happy. 

What freedom looked like today. I woke up at 6:50am with no alarm like a fucken champ. I hit snooze for a quick 10 mins of meditation sitting up in my bed. I take those bullshit deep breaths and after 10 mins tell myself, “I’m the shit” and “I’m a boss ass bitch”. Then I ask myself, “who do you want to be today and what do you want to accomplish”? I do it and the closer I become not what I believe but legit living it. I’m free-er than a bird, but that’s another story I want to tell when i get there. Forever grateful for these journeys. I’m back and I’m writing again. I have to tell myself to never stop, cause that’s when my heart stopped and I wasn’t free anymore. 

[sudowoodo]

@outsetisland i love u so much i keep having dreams about me getting to visit again hhhHHHHH

[honeyjaws]

im gonna scream u know. questionarie!!! lua and arthur!!! i efbsnmdakjsdn

@koalateamusings​ @lauriejuspeczyk​ r just out to get me

1. How did they first meet?

in St Denis at a bar lmao. he finds Bill and Lua and Vi after they saved Bill’s ass on a job that went awwwwwry. Bill’s fucken sloshed and like ‘they gotta come with us they would be useful aorthur’ and Arthur would be like ‘.... I GUESS’ and Lua n Vi are like cheers i’ll drink to that.

2. What did they think of each other at first? What was their first impression of the other?

Lua thought he was fucking handsome but quiet as alll hell a little awkward lol. also guarded; she’d wanna ask about the things he’s writing and drawing in his journal but wouldn’t ask because she feels it’d cross some boundary with him. Arthurrrrrrrr would draw her (like he does everyone its no big shut up!!!) and write something about how she’s new but he’d like to know her, he’s liked how he is around her and hopes that lasts. also she’s pretty sure sure.

3. Were they immediately interested / attracted, or did that come later?

UM like! yes and no! attraction was TOTAAALLLLY there but they both have,,, issues (because u fucking know Arthur is there like ‘well im fucking ugly’ and everyone else in the world is like ??? ??? but anyway) and so nothing actuallllly substantial happened until Arthur almost died in Guarma because of course it takes a big dramatic event for them to accept their,,,, feelings. crazy kids!!!

4. Why did they fall for each other?

just because~~~~

ok but like Arthur is the nicest and most genuine person Lua’s ever met and when she finally does ask about his journal she asks if he draws places he’d like to go one day because lord knooows she would love to be anywhere but the camp and he tells her he only draws what he knows and she says maybe it’s worth leaving to see more and when he tells her that if she left he’d go too she believes him and thinks maybe they could get away from all this and find something that fits and works for them in the world that’s changing and shifting away from the type of life they lead far faster than they can keep up with. maybe when arthur takes a moment to brush a feather or a flower or dried fucking grass out of lua’s hair and uses it as an opportunity to tuck her hair behind her ear and be close to her for a moment he doesn’t think he should have, a moment he’s feels he’s stealing from her, he knows that when she tells him he’s a good man she’s sincere and he wants so badly to believe it when it comes from her lips so in that moment he does.

did this answer the q? no! it’s just because!!!

5. Who flirted more before they started their relationship and how?

Lua lol. But that’s also kind of just how she is as a person. but with Arthur she’d actually mean it lol. He would make his self-deprecating comments about how he’s super ugly or a bad baaaad man she’d say he’s far from it.

6. Who made the first move/confessed first?

um it was a mutual thing u know. Arthur’s like basicalllllly dead and sun roasted on a horse returning from Guarma w a fresh case of TB and i have to pause a moment brb

ok right so with Lua seeing Arthur not dead like she thought is fucking overwhelmed by what she’s feeling and rushes to hug his crispy ass and when all their excitement and the Big Energy from that has passed Lua says “i love you, just. by the way. I’m glad you’re back” and Arthur responds by holding her face and telling her how when he was out there he kept thinking that one of the first things he needed to do when he got back was tell her that he loved her because he didn’t want to die without telling her. hmmm foreshadowing wrow.

7. When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

one time when they were drunk and they didn’t talk about it after don’t worry about it mind your business, they did so why cant you???

8.  Which one is more easily made jealous?

I honestly cannnnot see Arthur being a jealous type because he’s got that self esteeeeem issue problem and would go for some self-deprecating shit before jealousy like “yeah there’s someone out there better than me, I don’t blame her”. so i guess the answer there is Lua?? but at the end of the day i dont see them caring too much because they’ve gotttta make up for lost time lol.

9. What do they fight about? Who’s the first to apologize?

haha after Arthur Realizes™ how he feels about Lua they go on a heist and she gets hurt but hides it until they’re back at camp and he gets so! mad! when he finds out he snaps at her like ‘what if it were worse what if she didnt make it back?’ and then Realizes™ part 2 that he was just scared of losing her and apologizes but doesn’t go into big big detail because this is stillll before anything actually significant has happened w them and they’re both like “oh my feelings couldn’t possibly be requited and therefore are not real.”

10. Did they have a first date? Where did they go?

not realllllly the closest thing would be pretending to be newlyweds on a heist n_~

11. What do their friends and family think? Do they approve of the relationship?

ALL PARTIES APPROVE LMAO. e v e r y o n e  knew how they felt about each other before they did and would try to get them to admit it especiallllly Vi and Rosa!!! they’d tease Lua like “ADMIT IT U IDIOT” and she’d be like “shut up Kieran is,,, weird and John smells like a horse!!!”

Most importantly tho Hosea thinks it’s good and that they’d be able to make a nice life together. lol.

12. Do they like to cuddle/hold hands? Do they prefer to do it privately rather than in public?

FUCKING YA FUCK. catch Arthur and Lua at the campfire w Arthur’s arm around her or just ~*cozied up*~ because time is fleeting bitch :~)

13. How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time (If they do)? Under what circumstances does it happen?

i just said time is fleeting!!! but also ok like! they’re drunk one night, shortly after Lua and Vi join the gang, and the night ends w just them at the campfire and some romantic (but like when youre just meeting someone and ur drunk and like sure romance lol) shit happens. lua’s like ‘just dance with me it’ll be fun! there’s no one around!’ and arthur, reluctant, is like ‘well alright’ but he’s smiling he’s content and then they have a really sloppy night together that afterwards neither of them acknowledge for a long long while. after theyre like fucken weird around each other for a bit. Lua obviously tells Vi and then Rosa because she caannnnot keep that secret for long but what she can do for a long is deny any feelings she has for Arthur lol. Things stop being weird when she tells herself it was just a one night thing and Arthur isn’t into her like that. Put it in a box amirite n_~

14. Who tops?

oh my god

15. Do they get married? Who proposes & how?

cruel cruel world must i go on

16. Do they have children? How many? What are their names?

cruel cruel world im gone

[arodrwho]

critrole 2.80 lb

i missed. quite a bit here

“see what dairon’s been up to for the last…... three weeks??” o ye that is! quite a question

had to switch to ???? what is word.

had to switch to twitch idk what has happened

??? what’s bad

OH DANG

dairon PLEASE don’t have got caught

also idr if they told dairon abt the cobalt soul????

like does she KNOW

i hope so……..

“it’s a 3 i HAVE to pop & lock!!” laur a

covering a trail? o dear

oh No dairon is leaving : (

“lift the ban on us……….” oh my god beau

“i’ll see what i can do” lmao

“i will inform of your advancement as i’ve been intending, it should help” ah

records,, research,,,,,, dairon i love you

OH NO

oh no

fjord u are so unsubtle

i have some fear yo

“i’ll reach out & fire 2 eldritch blasts at it” UNSUBTLE

THAT’S UR MIDDLE NAME FJORD

FJORD “UNSUBTLE” CRITROLE

of COURSE they go through it

fjord knock it off you goddamn weirdo

i love u but what in the world are u doing

to rexxentrum,,,,

u guys they can hear all of this

guys,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

this is the worst ever

o jeez

o nice!! caleb save the day?

“i like to think it was me” “it probably was nott” ok do u mean nott or — yeah what cad said lmao

also cad autistic. evidence 235464

yeah man what was this about the old lady goblin? the sky sybil or?

the bright queen has ppl watchin g……………….

dun dun the Dun……….

: ( she’s so sad

oh goddang

Orb Again

o he apologize

“can we be of use?” :( caleb’s fa c e

nAT 20 INSIGHT CHECK god i love caduceus he’s so great

“i know more about you than you do” lmao

“draw her interest to this thing” wait you WANT her interested? ??? hm

did caleb say he sounds a little on-edge? hm

o dairon…..

they didn’t call yussa first did they

oh no

oh NO

...well that’s ominous

& my internet cut out so now it’s double ominous

“can i have some advice from you folks?” oh dear

is he still in the ball thing

oh DEAR

3 weeks……………….

ohh dear & dearEd

internet went pbtbtbtbt

horse man? who the FUCk is the horse man

wensworth his having a Bad Ti me oh my god

“uh, it’s a lot duller” that’s fucking hilarious

caleb are u gonna be alright w/this mysterious ally will this frighten u will it do u a frighten

human woman, okay

is

is????

OH MY GOD

ALL U R A

“ALL WIZARDS KNOW EACH OTHER” oh my god

oh my gO D

alluraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

allura!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“i am somewhere between an apprentice and protege to master yussa” lmao that’s such a lie caleb u fuckign liar he taught u one fucking spell

ALLURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA CONFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRMED

“there we go. we’re all on a first-name basis” this is Delightful

“the key to the folding holds(?) of halas” i can’t hear properl y

“i pushed a shiny red button” “don’t do it again” i love her

oh Shit good job nott!!!!!!!!!!!

permaheart permaheart

the laughing hand

oh my gO   D

“she is the BEST DETECTIVE” “I’M SUCH A GOOD DETECTIVE” “GOOD JOB JESTER”

holy shit holy shit holy shit

they get a WIN

at LAST

also wow i rly didn’t think this was connected to the laughing hand stuff at ALL

i did not preDICT THIS

this is INCREDIBLE

caleb i don’t think that’s how the time shit works

greenish crystal?? residuum?????

blue flash??????????????????????

that didn’t happen last time i’m Feare

oops i didn’t realize it was back on

what the hap is fuckening

so are they headin g inside or what

are they getting to Choose here or like

what’sa happenin

also is caleb okay or is liam just checking something

i think he’s just checking something

hm

anyways

oooooof caduceus…. yowch

anyway they’re IN

scribe mites?? what the fuck

that’s cool as shit

“of course he’s powerful enough he can do whatever he wants!!!” i love nott

well! that was worrying!

pls be safe u guys

nOTT WHAT DID I SAY ABT BEING SAF E

THAT WASN’T RELEGATED ONLY 2 THE MAGICUSERS

AND EVEN IF IT HAD BEEN U AREA LSO A MAGICUSER

o dear

initiative rolling

sneak attack damage?? from the inSI DE?? that’s incredible

oh DANG cad that sounds coolw hat is that

oooo nat 1

idk what that did though actually i’m don’t know dnd things

oh no it has friends

hey

hey froggs

i love froggs but can u not

...tough titt y

i love. caleb so much

i love him

i LOVE him

oh goddamn caleb

that was prettygood

o hecK the yeah jester u Done IT

o dear

fjrod

fjordo

O SWEET

CTRL WATER

alrighty whatnow

doot doot they entered.. someplace? idk i did not pay attention vmuch

but the episode is Over Now so wahey

[lotusheirs]

timeline!

aka what the hap is fuckening with the twins

they’re born to the pack alpha of the fushimi inari shrine in kyoto, but twins were considered a bad omen, and the parents were ordered to either kill one, or leave

the father, ren, decided to leave with the firstborn, shinjou, thinking his mate, chou, and the younger son, shinzou, deserved to stay with the pack they considered family

the twins are separated too young, they don’t remember one another, nor do they know the other exist until their parents mention it when they’re older

they’re identical at this point, the only way to tell them apart is to look for shinzou’s birth deficiency in the form of a floppy ear

shinzou

shinzou basically gets treated like a prince, brought up as the next alpha, despite some of the other kitsune still scoffing at him

devoted to his mother, stubborn and determined to make her proud

asks too many questions about dad

learns he has a twin, cue even more questions

develops the mentality of being the unwanted child, that his life doesn’t matter, and all the world needs is his brother;  he covers it up, but it plagues him for his entire life

learned how to pretend because of this from a very young age, deals with his issues alone

his mother starts to get sick, and she knows it’s the beginning of her heartbreak due to prolonged separation from her mate.  she doesn’t tell shinzou this

he gets desperate, and one night goes to beseech inari for a blessing

gets caught in a blast from a field test of the early prototype biological weapons containing the angel gene;  his right hand, chest, neck, and face get badly burned

thinks it’s a curse from inari, and turns againist his clan, saying they’re serving and woshipping a  ‘false god’

gets exiled, is ordered to take his mother with him.  she’s weakened and cannot fight this, and shinzou is too young to really stand up againist everyone, but he tries

not that he succeeds

cue his lifelong hatred of gods and anything divine

he, nor his kin in general, has ever been around humans, so has troubles adapting.  knows basic glamours at least, though

his life revolves around saving his mother

they live in a small forested area at the outskirts of the city

when his burns heal at least a little bit, he starts job hunting, eventually landing something in one of kyoto’s strip clubs, where he goes under the work name  ‘kessho’

works as both a stripper and an escort

his fur and hair that had been damaged in the fire grew back black, so now half his hair is black, along with his right ear.  also, his right eye turned red, half of his right eyebrow never grew back, nor did his eyelashes.  rocked the undercut haircut for a while, as his hair grew back

one night after his shift, he’s approached by a stranger claiming to know he’s not human, and pressures him into joining their organization

he only agrees out of desperation and under the promise that they can cure his mother

it’s revealed to him that they’re an angel hunting organization, and that if he helps them, they could easily develop a cure for chou.  shinzou has no clue what this is all about, but he’d do anything for his mother

so they take them from kyoto to maebashi, the city where the phenomen originated from

as it turns out, the hunters couldn’t quite trust a youkai, and so he’s ensnared and branded againist his will, with a spell placed upon him that effectively makes him their slave

the brand is the kanji for the number four  ( 四 )  in a circle on his left inner wrist.  its symbolism represents that this contract is for life  ( read as  shi, same as 死, meaning death  )

they do that, along with taking his star orb, which is essentially his soul taken physical form, and use it as means to keep him in check

hides the brand with a thick leather bracelet

his job is hunting down angels around the city and it’s neighborhood, though sometimes he’d receive an order to go even further afield

his free time is limited, so he strikes a part-time job at a local strip club once more, to have some cash of his own, given the hunters don’t really give him anything

he’s not aware that his mother is used as just another test subject for the angel experiments, and she keeps quiet about it aswell, not wanting her son to worry

what’s worse, her natural eye color is red, so as the mutation takes effect, shinzou doesn’t notice the difference

one day meets a boy, kaede, shy and softspoken, who approaches him when he sees shinzou getting harassed by some stranger who most probably knew him from the strip club, given he was asking for a  freebie

they start hanging out together, pretty much all the time when shinzou has the time

never tells him he’s an angel hunter, given that the boy has angel eyes himself, doesn’t want to put him in dager

as it turns out, he’s the first angel ever created;  he suffered from a terminal blood disease, but this new  ‘cure’  helped him live.  this gives him more hope for his mother to survive, too

things get gAY, they even mate

somewhere along the way he fucks up, and the organization he works for discovers he knows the identity of the first angel, and is ordered to hunt him down and bring him in, alive

is faced with a dilemma, but in the end chooses his family over his love life

so things get angsty, but shinzou eventually does return with the first angel, only to find his mother dead

he never learns how it happened, never really has it confirmed that they’ve been experimenting on her, but the thing is that supernatural creatures don’t handle the angel gene well, and with her already being weak and bed-ridden, she eventually succumbed to it.  he has his suspicions that that’s what happened, but still

also, neither does he learn that she was dying of heartbreak

anyway, he gets mad, forgets his orders, turns into a big bad fox and burns everything

going againist his owners means extreme pain, given the brand, but he endures.  ends up limping and not being able to use his left arm for quite some time

retrieves his star orb along the way, but it doesn’t fully free him from this slavery, since the brand persists  ( more on that later )

his mate survives the destruction, but no one else does.  they rendezvous outside the burning facility, where shinzou bids him goodbye as he feels the need to bring his mother’s body back to kyoto for burial + he needs to deal with his grief

promises he’ll be back tho

shinjou

compared to his brother, shinjou and his father got into a more direct contact with the angel phenomen.  they’re dragged into the more underground business, the criminal side of all this.  they remain in kyoto, though

they’re just as inexperienced around humans, which ends up in the current yakuza head taking their star orbs to have them under their command

they’re manipulated, given the illusion of power, of being in the lead while they’re really not

the yakuza progresses to be one of the most successful groups in the whole angel business, eventually going as far as actually conducting their own experiments, and starting their reign of terror, as they spread the stigma of angels being lesser than humans, that they’re monsters to be contained

the human trafficking begins

ren and shinjou become the first of the yakuza to be infected with the virus voluntarily, their morals and world views so skewed at this point that they’ve become power hungry  ---  ren especially, and shinjou is brought up in his example

shinjou is raised with the regime of all work, no play.  he becomes detached from society, from other people around him, all that matters is that he successfully walks in his father’s footsteps and makes him proud

shinjou’s mutation is cultivated in such a way that it surpasses what the first angel is  ---  he’s mostly a myth as of right now, but they know little tidbits here and there, and believe him to be the greatest specimen, and want shinjou to revolutionize this

he sees this as an honor really

develops a twisted mentality of angels being  beautiful,  rather than monsters, and thinks the world would be better off if everyone became one

he still goes all wrong about this.  i mean, constant torture and terrorism really isn’t going to make the world feel the same smh

eventually, his father succumbs to the angel genes, much like his mate.  this is what triggers the chain reactions of both parents dying, and when shinzou goes to destroy the facility he was  ( is )  chained to

shinjou becomes the next boss abruptly, and still relies on his advisors  ( aka the people owning his star orb at the moment, and the ones actively manipulating him as their pawn )

his father’s death drives him into more aggressive experiments with himself, this is also the time when he starts becoming more interested in the scientific side of all this;  aka where his mad scientist label comes from

he goes too far, so much so that it starts affecting his brain even more than the poor parenting already had, and he starts hearing voices, becomes unable to sleep  ---  and when he does, he always has to deal with sleep paralysis  ---  and even starts coughing up blood every now and then

ofc doesn’t stop SMH

he renames the yakuza to  ‘order of the lotus’  in his father’s honor, and their new insignia becomes the lotus flower

he’s the reason japan no longer views the lotus as a symbol of something good and pure, nor do they use the word  ‘angel’  as a term of endearment anymore

many have attempted to stop him, but to no avail

eventually gets a new cop, ciro, on his tail, who turns out to be an angel himself, with a very unique mutation  ---  the ability to see the past and future, to see through lies and illusions

thanks to this, he’s always a step ahead of shinjou and naturally he gets furious

game of cat and mouse begins but then it also gets gay along the way??

their relationship starts out as just friends with benefits, and only gets more toxic as time goes on

he learns that his new  ‘friend’  was actually originally trying to stop his own father, who was revealed to be shinjou’s current biggest rival in the angel business, someone who actually actively tried breeding angels for better results

shinjou kind of persuades the man to side with him, and their union eventually end in his rival’s demise

so shinjou basically gets the whole country for himself, gg

they end up mating aswell which ends up being a horrible mistake lmao

still, ciro also helps shinjou to free himself from his  ‘advisors’  influence, showing him that they were pulling the strings behind the scenes, gaining more benefits from what shinjou’s been doing that he did, himself

so shinjou gets his star orb back aswell, and is now in full control of his yakuza;  and all of kyoto, really

reunited

the twins find each other at the grove near their old home at the fushimi shrine.  as it turns out, it’s where shinjou had buried their father, and where shinzou went to bury their mother aswell

big feels time™

admittedly shinzou is a little unsettled by how unstable his brother is

shinjou tells him more in detail about the angel genes, and that he is an angel aswell, rather than it being  ‘inari’s curse’

it’s hard for shinzou to accept, but he does...  doesn’t change his opinion on the gods, though

so then he also struggles when he realizes his brother has a god complex

the happiness of finding what remained of his family was better than worrying, though, so he turned a blind eye to basically everything

shinjou gets shinzou to be the yakuza head with him, so shinzou gets a matching lotus tattoo on his spine

he doesn’t actively participate in the angel hunts and experiments his brother conducts, but he does act as a regular hitman and infiltrator, and all that angel-unrelated crime stuff

he meets ciro, and they hate each other.  constant fights and bickering

this has him trying to convince shinjou he’s not good for him, but he doesn’t listen

at one point, the twins agree to exact revenge on their clan, exacting the genocide during the full moon in july that year.  thanks to this, locals start to avoid the oldest of inari’s shrine, believing it to be haunted

the violence helps shinzou get over his grief, even if that had nothing to do with his mother’s death really

he leaves kyoto again to return to maebashi to find his mate

spends some time with him there, but some of the allies of the organization he originally worked for have tracked him down and tried to get him under their command again  ( thanks to the brand and the spell persisting )  and get the first angel

cornered, shinzou cuts off his own arm with his illusory weapons to rid himself of that link.  a price most people wouldn’t pay

he’s now truly free, but has to deal with getting himself a prosthetic and also his wounded pride;  doesn’t allow anyone to see him without the prosthetic, compensates for his ego by working out more, just basically trying to prove the world he’s  not weak

shinzou and kaede decide they should move away from maebashi, given it’s not safe for either for them, so they move to kobe rather than kyoto, because shinzou worries about what his brother might do to his mate who is the long-sought-after first angel

still comes to visit every now and then, though, only to long for leaving again given the constant disputes with his brother’s mate

still ends up hating the fact that he keeps having to choose between his brother and his mate, so he ends up talking kaede into actually moving in to kyoto with him

kaede, being the soft boy that he is, discovers shinjou has a little angel girl in his custody, and adopts her...  steals her, really

shinjou lets him have her, in exchange for his blood sample

shinzou however, disagrees on having children and makes kaede put her to orphanage

time passes, and sans the constant terror the elder twin brings, life seems good

eventually shinzou changes his mind and surprises his mate by actually adopting the little girl, papers and all

they name her chou in the memory of his mother

nothing good lasts forever, though, and shinzou and kaede end up fighting a lot, especially because shinjou’s mate ends up making sexual advances towards the fox out of spite, and it eventually ends in their break up, and  ---  given the angel’s weak psyche  ---  him taking his own life

shinzou is now left being a single mother  ( his daughter refers to him as  ‘mama’  because he encouraged her to view him as her mother figure, because other kids teased her for having two dads )

ciro doesn’t stop with his harassment, just further proving what a piece of shit he is, but shinzou is still unable to change his brother’s mind

frankly, the angel treats both twins differently, but is still a rather toxic presence in both their lives

it leads to ciro actually raping shinzou, though unfortunately for him, it involved touching the kitsune’s tails without his permission, resulting in a curse being laid upon the man that ends up eventually killing him

so essentially, shinzou’s killed his brother’s mate, something he never tells him

he becomes withdrawn from the trauma, and kind of doesn’t ever want to get in another relationship again.  goes back to stripping to deal with this, because it was about the only thing that ever made him feel good and he genuinely enjoyed it;  made him forget things, etc.

with the death of both the twins’ mates, they start feeling the heartbreak settling in, toxic relationships or not

ciro’s death also basically brings shinjou to the brink of insanity, and if he can’t have anything good, then neither can the world

cue the lowkey apocalypse

japan’s end

shinjou’s rage consumes japan;  he kills and destroys without a reason, his obsession with his mate showing

he, unlike his brother, was aware of the whole heartbreak thing

decided to have them both undergo more drastical adjustments to the angel genes in their body, forcing the parasite to keep them alive

the destruction was raw and imminent, though only in kyoto’s near vicinity.  it took years, centuries even, for the young kitsune brothers to overtake all of japan  ---  frankly, it was all mostly shinjou’s doing, but shinzou helped so he’s also guilty gnfjdkg

both shinjou’s mental and physical condition doesn’t get better, given that he accelerated the parasite’s growth

shinzou can do only so much to help him, though.  oftentimes, he’d disguise himself with a glamour of his past mate to help him deal with his loss  ( no matter how gross he felt doing it )  usually when shinjou was so sleep deprived that he believed it to just be a dream, but it was good enough to keep him at least a little sane

japan eventually becomes a prison country, where angels from all around the world are brought in, for shinjou to do whatever he pleases with themhe’s still extremely fascinated by the mutation, so really, most of them end up being lab rats as he tries various new experiments with their dna

angels may have prolonged lifespans, but they are not immortal.  and so, shinzou has to deal with the death of his daughter aswell

they’re alone, have no one but each other, they’re sick, both mentally and physically, they’re withdrawn, dangerous, and unpredictable

despite all that, technology thrives.  the surviving angels form a resistance, and where shinjou focuses on the biological, they focus on the technological

lots of current angels have various cybernetic implants and microchips to enhance them further to actually stand a chance in this war

what shinjou does, is to actively shut down more and more power plants to make the country fully dependant on him, given he commands the element of lightning, it’s easy for him to provide electricity to his surroundings.  ofc, this is limited by his age, but it’s a gradual process

[sunnysidewrites]

Lawyer!Woozi

Requested by anon: Woozi for lawyer!au Hehe thanks! 

This was one of the more popular choices when yall voted! I was sure that woozi aus weren’t that popular but my street musician au blew up?? as did this au when people voted??? ever since i made this blog you guys have never ceased to amaze me I LOVE YOU ALL!!! I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS PIECE FROM YOUR FAV MOM!!!

warnings: a Manly Jihoon that turns into a Blushy Jihoon with bad jokes

Ok yall im in mock trial so this is some real legit stuffz but i don’t know everything so it’s obviously not completely accurate!

This au got quite a lot of votes, a lot more than i expected

Here we will explore the concept of Manly Jihoon

Let’s get moving!!!!!

You’ve been in your current law firm for a few years now

You ain’t even an attorney you just file papers rip

You’re like i am s O D ON E with this job hahahah :)))))

Your office job is like the typical ones you hear about that make you wanna yawn bc they’re just sO B OR I N G

#savereader2k17

Additionally to your office job, you’re also lowkey a personal assistant for the one and only,,,,,,

You guessed it

Lee Jihoon

The bEST of the best attorneys ever to exist, at least for the defense

We’re talking about high-scale crimes that you would only imagine happening, like big scandalous murder cases in mystery novels and movies

And he always,,,,, aLW A YZZ,,,, wins the case no joke

The last case he worked on took literally months and the trial for it w A S O IN TE N S E HOLY CRAP

You: wow i would so not wanna be that witness on the stand rn

The guy spits out objections left and right and usually the opposing attorney would be almost up to par on his level but we all know jihoon is gonna miss u with that bs

He indirectly tore apart the attorneys on tOP OF SHREDDING APART THE WITNESSES W O W

Bc of this you know exactly how intense and firm jihoon is when it comes to his work

The day he asked you to be his personal assistant may or may not have made you wanna pee in your pants

The most intimidating guy just asked you to be around him more often than you were supposed to, which is never???? um u have an office job????

“Look you seem to be the most trustworthy person here. Like i don’t even trust soonyoung and he’s my fellow coworker for this case” yes it’s bc he trusts you nOT liKE He hAS A CR us H On yO U NO OFC NO T

“hE Y I HE A RD THAT”

“See what i mean??? Always eavesdropping smh”

#letsoonyounglive2k17

Soonyoung: ok,,, if that’s how you wanna play jihoon,,,, you think you’re such a hOtShOt,,,,,,

You: jihoon wheRE DID THAT GUITAR CO M E FROM WE ARE AT A LAW FIRM

Since he’s perfectly aware he’s asking you to do something out of your way that is not part of your job he is willing to actually pay you

You’re lowkey thinking about just being his assistant bc the pay he gives you is lowkey higher than your actual salary rIP IM SORRY READER YOU DESERVE BETTER

For the most part you fetch him his daily coffee and help him file more papers jesus

But this guy is busy 25/8 so you’re on your feet a l o t

“y/n where’s the file i told you to create for brian?”

“y/n can you hand me the case book”

“File this in with the evidence”

“Take a look at the errata and cross these sections out”

You are doing a lot of the tiny things jihoon just doesn’t have time to other than the bulk of the case

You’re like oh de ar,,,, this is my office job 2.0 but i’m moving around more

You’re a little overwhelmed bc you’re experiencing firsthand how serious jihoon’s job is and it isn’t just about objecting to the opposing side

Figuring out how to word your questions so you don’t get objected to is by far the hardest part

Sometimes he would even ask you for advice just for some insight from an outside party

You don’t know every single thing about the law so he explains some of it to you but he’s actually like o H My gOD THEY’RE SO CUTE

“Jihoon what does hearsay mean?”

Jihoon: *combusts* “lol well it’s pretty simple,,,,”

When you’re too busy filing papers and doing other tasks, you are completely oblivious to the little glances he spares your wa Y JESUS

He would be like o m g how does one make crossing things out look sO G O OD

You look up and he pretends he’s reading the case book i fucken see u jihoon

But you don’t and you just resume your work

The biggest case he’s ever worked on is gonna be put to the test

The trial for it is the next day and jihoon is usually the epitome of calm and collected

But when you show up to his office with his coffee he doesn’t even notice you coming in and is running back and forth

“Jihoon??? I have your coffee if you,, still want it,,, you look a lil busy”

“Oh y/n thank you just set it down over there on the table”

As you put it down on his desk you glance around the room and it looks like a tornado came in and turned the room upside down

You don’t wanna pry and be in his way but you’re also like where is the relaxed jihoon from yesterday????

You’re like um,,, is,,, is everything ok??

And he stops for a second to catch his breath and you’re like pL S DON’T YELL AT ME

Shockingly he just sighs

“I reread the case book last night and i caught something pretty strange,,,, and i’ve been trying to dig up more about it in the other witnesses’ testimonies to find anything that slipped”

You’re like oh jesus that sounds stressful but i will be here to help you!!11!!

jihoon is trying to keep his fanboy in check but hOW CAN HE IF YOU’RE BEING THIS CUTE

“Ah..haha… that’s very considerate of you. Actually,,, maybe you can help me”

You’re liKE WHAT OMG THE LEGENDARY JIHOON IS ASKING ME,,,, A NOBODY WITH AN OFFICE JOB,,,, FOR HELP?????

You must have been gawking at him with your mouth open bc he’s like is it that shocking i need help

You shake your head “n-no!!! Tell me what it is GO LISTEN TO THIS BY SF9 BYE and i’ll do it”

And he’s like ,,,,,,,,,,,,, i knew i liked you for a reason -- i mE A N OK PLS GO THROUGH THE TESTIMONIES FOR ME

And you spend a few more hours helping him out

You’ve never seen jihoon this frazzled and it kinda makes you freaked out too bc if he ain’t calm how can you be

You guys finally finish and he lets out a huge breath of relief

“I think,,,, we did it,,,, they can’t weasel out of this!!!”

“That’s good i’m glad i was able to help!!!”

“Yes we make a good team :)”

And yO U’RE LIKE OH,,,,, OMG

“cAN U PLS STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT I’M NOT AN EMOTIONLESS ROBOT”

“Well……………….”

“Wow i’m offended????? Is that what you think of me???????????”

“nO I WAS JOKING I Love how passionate you are about your work and really admire you for always being able to set your mind to something and doing it”

Jihoon is shook to say the least

No one has ever said that to him despite his huge success as an attorney

People compliment him on his work yes but it’s superficial and only empty words

Everyone is always reluctant to actually talk to him bc he’s always so cold and work-oriented

He can see the floating halo above your head

It takes him a while to say something bc now it’s his turn to stare

There’s a strange air of intimacy and you’re trying to control your cheeks from flaring red under his gaze

You suddenly notice how long his eyelashes are--

wAIT STOP YOU DON’T LIKE JIHOON AHAHHA WHAAAAT NOPE

“Did,,, i say something funny?”

“No,,,, not at all,,,,, thank you. That means a lot to me.”

Alert the reader is melting emergency alert

“Would you,,, like to come watch tomorrow?”

You really want to but,,,, your office job,,,,, stacks of papers are piling up on your desk

He senses your hesitance and is like i’ll let your boss know it’s to help me out

You’re like uh does that actually work

“He loves me ok this firm would be in the ground let’s be real”

You: well he ain’t wrong

“Ok well,,,, as long as it’s alright,,,,,, I have to see it through the end with you!!”

Jihoon: i am def gonna need 2 win

The following night comes too soon and you’re in the audience with bated breath

As soon as jihoon announces himself the atmosphere instantly shifts

The opposing attorneys seem to be unfazed and it’s a harsh battle between defense and prosecution

Jihoon brings up the newly found loophole and you can see the witness be like o cr a p gudbyez

And the attorney tries to save their witness during Redirect but even you thought their reputation was ruined

Jihoon is All Smirks for the rest of the trial

As it comes to an end after many many hours, the judge finally speaks about the verdict

And yAY YOUR WITNESS IS NOT GUILTY JIHOON LED THE CASE TO SUCCESS WOO HOO

You wait for him outside of the building as the people are dispersing

It takes a while for him to emerge out from the doors but the second he does you’re like

“oH MY GOSH JIHOON YOU WERE AM A Z IN G!!! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!!”

He knows he’s used to hearing this but for some reason he turns sO BL US H Y

Instead of replying with his usual “oh thank you, I know” he’s avoiding your gaze

“Oh,,,, it was,,, nothing,,,,”

And you swear you can see hints of pink on his cheeks

You decide to tease him for a bit bc i mEAN THIS IS A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY

“Omg jihoon,,, are you blushing????”

“*clears throat loudly* SUFDFSDJLFJF NO WHAT I DO N OT BLUSH we’re going to the nearest pizza parlor”

And he starts tugging your arm and you’re like wH AT I DIDNT EVEN AGREE TO THIS???

He mutters “well the least we could do is celebrate” aND YOU CAN SEE THE TIPS OF HIS EARS SUPER RED

Even in the dark you can see his embarrassment written all over him

You’re like “well this is cheesy aHAH SEE WHAT I DID THERE”

“We’re not going anymore”

“Ok i’m soRRY I WANT FOOD I’M HUNGRY”

“,,,,but not as cheesy as me using this as an excuse to ask you out”

“Well i mean -- wAIT WHAT”

And he’s looking at you expectantly and you’re just trying to Register What Happened

“Oh,,,, well,,,, i wouldn’t mind,,,,,,,,,,”

And he smiles ever so slightly my heart

“How greasy of me”

“Ok who’s the one making bad puns now”

[isaacathom]

ok this is actually a fun bit of writing here, even if the preceding shit was kinda garbage

tl;dr this bitch has to rant about this stupid book because i naively want to learn something about my family’s history and this is the only fucken way to do it

‘When he discovered he had to work to help provide for this instant family of a large flock of children, ‘Mick’ showed his true self and devotion to the family.

Within a year of the marriage, he left the fold, leaving his wife to fend for herself in the daunting task of raising her children.’

like.aside from just being kinda awkwardly worded (he bangs On and On about how his mum was the 11th of 11 children like fuck i get it its a big family, holy shit) i think thats just. a good concept there. the space really sells the punch. wouldve been better if we hadnt been told beforehand that Mick was a cunt, yknow. but thats nice

also lets keep going. ‘6 step brothers and 4 step sisters’ theyre actually her Half Siblings. they all share the same mother. theyre related. she’d be step if she was adopted, which she was not, because if she were, surely we wouldve been told about those circumstances.

‘[his mother] easily met that high standard as she was a very pretty young lady’ please dont perv out over your fucking mother you pig of a man. also you would hope ‘jock’ (his name is fucking robert but ok, Jock) was interested in more than how pretty Nellie was when they got together, right......... like there had to be more to it. am i naive? perhaps

‘scottish clan gordon’ the what. but we arent gordons???? are you. are you hundred percent sure. are you positive about this. are you sure thats why your name is gordon. alright buddy

‘according to buzzy’s story’ please never refer to yourself in the third person

‘hotels rarely burn down’ ?? i dont buy that at all. my guess is this famous hotel (which.... you didnt name so ok)

ok so theres a picture in here of my dad standing at some random gate, and he says its the same gate as a picture of his dad..... where is THAT picture??? this picture means nothing without that historic context, and it feels hollow if the actual picture isnt there.

granddad you dont. you dont need to wikipedia article dump me information about glasgow??? i mean sure, cool, id rather just be reading the wikipedia article.

jesus christ. so hes talking about his dad, right. who he’d technically set up earlier by saying he came to melbourne at 19. before he launched into a whole thng about his mother and shit. and suddenly hes come back to his dad to explain that his dad (so gordons grandfather) used to beat him! and its like, wOAH, where the fuck did that come from??? shit dude. thats rough. but he just mentions it suddenly out of nowhere. oH JESUS actually. sorry. i misread (yknow, because its written like shit). he means.... his brother??? right, he means his Brother Robert, was beaten by his dad, also named Robert, who was the one who came to melbourne aged 19. ok. ok that makes slightly more structural sense but ooof. ouch. poor robert (the younger). in my uh, defence, this book is written awful and i've never met robert? (my.... understanding is that he probably died before i was born? like with mary, who i dont recall having met either)

ok uhhh ‘most of the gorbal’s tenemenets were eventually demolished by the wise founding fathers many decades later, in the 1980s’ the WHOM. this isnt fucking america, this is scotland, what in the actual fuck are you TALKING about????????????????????????????? ‘modern day replacement improvements and architecture designed to achieve, what?’ fucker they were trying to fix the mistake they made in crowding 90k people into the fucking gorbals. maybe they didnt succeed (they didnt) but they were trying, it was naivete rather than fucking malice, you bitter old fuck. like, you visited in the 1980s.... and published this book in 2007......... without thinking to check back......... like hey maybe theyve gotten better? (newsflash - they fucking have) sooo... fuck

‘could the [my family] be related? [to the mcdonalds]’ yes??? we literally are. theres no question of that. being a sept of clanranald, we are Literally related to the fucking macdonalds. you absolute buffoon. yea its distant, and maybe thats your point, but when combined with you launching into this giant diatribe about rhw Campbells for shit that happened long ago, it seems youre picking and choosing how close ‘related’ is. we are. literally. related to the macdonalds. also it wasnt thought up in glasgow, they were from fucking new hampshire. but sure. 

‘his sheila wife of his’ excuse me?

‘so the name was related to a buzzing bee i suppose’ ? i still dont get it. like, he then explains that apparently his twin sister had difficulty saying Brother, so she called him Buzzy. that makes sense to me. i can understand that. but the buzzing bee thing? not sure i follow, given the prior context he provided. i dont get it. this is written like garbage. theres no structure. we went from jumping forward in time to the birth of my uncle Dale (my dads older brother) and suddenly we’re talking about Mick’s running career and gordon’s childhood! what the fuck happened.

‘coupled with the bigoted attitudes that were rife during those periods’ says the man who got angry at a black (i THINK, mightve been a separate story)  frenchman who couldnt speak english in France because ‘we saved them’. fuck off. youre just like them, you old codger.

also hes decrying his grandfather mick for being ‘no true irishman’ even though micks dad was full irish? by that exact same metric i can call my grandfather no true scotsman, because his dad is full scottish and thats it!!! you fucking fool. no true irishman, holy shit, how little self awareness could this man have.

‘then excessive drinking liquor isnt for me’ but is Is for your wife, is it gordon??? drinking wine when shes on antibiotics??? fucking incredible. god theyre. theyre so stupid.

‘not proceeding as a scholar as i could have’ you literally admitted like 5 pages ago that your twin sister was Far smarter than you, but sure! ~scholar~. if you were meant to be a scholar surely you wouldve bounded back from missing days with a vengeance. youre talking complete tosh.

im confused why theyd be doing bombing drills in South Yarra.... in preparation from a japanese air raid.... like im sorry, if the people north are doing their jobs, theres no physical way they couldve gotten to south yarra....... but ok. thats not his fault i just think thats strange.

im 110 pages in and he hasnt actually gotten to the point where he meets eleanor??? aside from a few time jumps forward and a brief mention of ‘meeting her in a milk bar in south yarra’ so like. hoi vey? the fuck.

oh jesus thats. thats a heavy thing to just chuck in the middle of a sentence??? like ‘oh yea after Skete the next scout leader was a paedophile who abused me and the others’ wwwOooahhh there buddy back up. what???? holy shit. ouch. thats. thats rough.

‘absolutely belted this poofta bastard’ yknow what? fair. id also beat the fuck out of a pedo with my boot. thats Relatable. good going on that, i suppose.

ooh thats full third person, weird.

one thing that is definitely kinda interesting, and very telling about his relationship with his family, is that he only ever refers to Nellie as ‘mum’, but refers to Mick as, well, Mick! rather than ‘granddad’ or anything of the sort. like its just sorta interesting when you get this big family photo and Nellie is the only one not called by her first name.

‘returning to those earlier days’ NO! FUCKING MOVE FORWARD IN TIME YOU GIT!!!! holy shit i just want to read about new fucking shit.

......... so like, at some point while playing footy, an opposing player kicked him in the leg and caused a fractured tibia. so a few weeks later... one of gordons friends took a mark on that player and kneed him straight in the head, with that player never playing again. and he’s PROUD of that!!! he’s proud of his friend for ruining a guys footy career. like yea, the guy was a dick, he broke your leg and it was at least partially malicious, but like........... you fucked him up????? hardcore?????? a straight up ruination. but go off i guess.

its interesting that he doesnt go even remotely into eleanors history beyond the fact (so far) that her father Leo didnt say much but was a good dude. then again the books all about him soooo fuck it i suppose.

‘recognition of our scottish heritage’ eleanor isnt scottish tho. shes irish. shes an o'donoghue. what the fuck. like yea naming them dale and glen is a ‘clever’ nod back to scotland (i actually do think thats cute and clever, joking aside. its the exact sort of ‘clever’ shit i love pulling) but............. shes not scottish. unless we’re waiting for volume 2 all about eleanor.

hE USED TO LIVE OUT HERE??????? IN SPRINGVALE????? fuck me. no fucking wonder we live here, huh, jesus. that. certainly explains something, i suppose. like ‘if you were raised in holbrook and YOU were raised in thomastown, why do we live in knox?’

OHHHHH HERES THE FRENCH THING!!!! OHHHH HERES ONE OF THE FRENCH THINGS. OH BITCH behold

so granddads being a dick, as usual, and he’s on some tour in paris. and the tour guide launches into a long thing about the glory of france, like french history and the fighting record, etc. and granddad calls out and tells him to knock it off, because ‘our australians died by the thousands for your country’

i. eh... uhh............... is he. is he aware? of how many french people died???? for france?????? how many????? il tell you how many - apparently 1.44% of the total population of france. thats 600000 people. how many did we lose? around 35k. thats, uh, a smaller fucking number. than the amount of french people. who died. for fucking france. you fucking idiot.

it kills me. is he gonna include the french speaking one too???

oh hell that sure is a picture of my father. good heavens. holy shit my brother really does look like him. thats uncanny, man.

‘one son Scotty’ his name is Scott, actually. not scotty. but cool, i got a really small shout out, weirdly BEFORE my older cousins did???? oh dear is he gonna talk about my uncles divorce actually. oh god. thats. thats terrifying to consider. oh, cool, he didnt in that small section, hopefully it doesnt come up haha (i can only IMAGINE what sort of vile shit he’d say about cathy)

also, ooh, more nuggets on grandma’s family. her dad was a freemason! thats cool.

ooh! he was the president of holbrook shire council! thats kinda neat actually.

ooh! the glenndale motel actually still exists! thats cool as hell. not that granddad told me that i just googled it

OHHH ITS THE FUCKING FRENCH SPEAKING STORY OH MY GOD

Ok first off ‘i slammed my fist into the counter and said very calmly’ yea no fuck that, youre fucking lying. theres no way you slammed the counter and spoke calmly. you almost definitely abused this poor french metro worker who, being a French Man living in France, is not required to know english. you fucking babboonnnnnnnnnn

apparently he nearly fell off a mountain innnnnn geeermany? austria, austria. and as he mentions my dad pulling him back up, he words it as ‘stopping me from falling to my final destiny’ what fucking wording IS that. my god.

uh well ok thats. about it i suppose. there was a big hullabuloo about like, hotels and shit, and there was probably some racism about Islanders in there (like i find it hard to believe there wasnt but im not gonna go back and double check, because this book reads like absolute garbage). but eh. yea?

uuhhh so that was an Adventure, for sure