#god i hate marvel😂

[sunflowersinheaven]

literal death asking agatha "why dont you want me?" and then crying after their kiss... twice (!) is gonna be my roman empire

[fawcetttweets]

Please do NOT stop the pig migration storyline! I am invested in it now 😂

Automatic Response (PM5)

Things are heating up… I’m a bit rusty on my knowledge about the whole ACAB thing because my memory sucks and I can barely retain thoughts for more than few minutes but I’m gonna try my best! I’ll try not to get too serious or upsetting but some JL members are, were, or work closely with cops and won’t really agree right away. They��re gonna have some off screen and on screen talks about it and be forced to do research into it! Forcibly Acabing my blorbos. Shooting them straight in the face with my woke-beam.

THE NEXT LINES ARE NON CANON:

Batman: this is going to be a PR nightmare

Marvel: The only PR I care about is Police Reform. Or preferably, abolishment.

Nightwing: so you hate me?

Marvel: Oh! I didn’t know you were a cop, sorry!

Nightwing: Oh thank god, I thought you’d want to stop being friends with me.

Marvel: oh, I do. I meant that I’m sorry for ever treating you like a friend and stringing you along, not for the whole ACAB thing. You’re A C which also means your A B :)

Nightwing: D:

Non canon because that’s too mean for my sweet baby boy (at least in Marvel form) and Nightwing isn’t a cop anymore.

Masterlist // First // Previous // Next

[stra-tek]

Lots and lots of random spoilerific things about Star Trek comics

Gold Key's old run was written by people who had never actually seen the show. Later they involved fans like Doug Drexler to make things a bit more authentic

This however made them, IMHO, amazing

Blond scotty. Wearing green.

Voodoo planet, with papier mache versions of Earth landmarks which, when blasted with a death ray, cause the real ones to collapse

Spock learns voodoo to combat this threat

The Enterprise completely razes a planet of hostile plant spore things. Like full on extermination of all life

There's a locked room on deck 7 full of evil Vulcan spirits. A yeoman blunders in and all hell breaks loose

Kirk doesn't know what a god damn black hole is

Spock is kidnapped by aliens, has their entire knowledge downloaded into his brain which makes him into a bobblehead for awhile

The Enterprise is briefly taken from Kirk and given to Captain Zarlo, who is a total bellend

Spock forgets to have pointed ears sometimes

The old UK newspaper comic strips were even worse. The first few issues feature "Captain Kurt" and he wears a red shirt. Bailey is also a lead character, giving away which one episode they had knowledge of

Depictions of the Enterprise in their very first strip will shock and horrify you, but after that the art becomes amazing and maintains a very high standard

Marvel did a series following The Motion Picture, and it was a vast improvement, although they technically had rights to the movie and not the series, which led to a little weirdness. Tons of references still were snuck in, though

There's a series of Book and Records, which you can listen to on YouTube and are goofy fun. The Enterprise desperately needs a meal in the art, though.

They draw Romulans as green wizards

They didn't have the rights to Nichelle Nichols or George Takei's likenesses, so get ready for White Uhura and Black Sulu!

They didn't have the rights to The Animated Series either, so M'Ress is a human with weird face paint and Arex is substituted for just some guy

There's an unlicensed Chinese adaptation of The Motion Picture's novelisation (made with zero prior knowledge of Star Trek), which features an all-star cast like O.J. Simpson as Decker and James Brolin as Kirk. It's called The Star Trek, which is a better name than The Motion Picture, IMHO.

DC comics' first run is considered some of the best Trek ever. They're made with love and a deep knowledge of the source material

You know how Star Trek III takes place right after II? WRONG. It was several months later and the crew (with Saavik taking over from Spock) had tons of adventures in the interim. It just seemed like it was right after😂

Before Worf and long long before Ash Tyler, Kirk had a Klingon on his crew

He was a cowardly Klingon named Konom who fled the Empire

He fell in love with a human woman named Bryce

They adopted an albino Klingon/human child with dwarfism which they named Bernie

Kirk has an unhinged, insubordinate crewman on board named Bearclaw and they hate each other

Tension escalates and eventually there's a stabbing

Sulu/M'Ress happens and I don't think people knew what furrys were in the 80's

You know how Spock comes back at the end of III but isn't his old self until the end of Star Trek IV? WRONG AGAIN. He came back just fine, and lost his marbles following an incident months later that just happened to line everything up to make it all seem like it was right after.

After STIII, Kirk becomes captain of the U.S.S. Excelsior NX-2000 and Spock becomes captain of the U.S.S. Surak. We get a few issues exclusively focusing on Spock's ship and his band of merry weirdos.

The U.S.S. Surak keeps changing design, starting off as a sort of Oberth-class ship, then randomly becoming an Excelsior-class ship and finally ending as the warp sled shuttlecraft from The Motion Picture

The Surak's crew include a giant chicken man, a Vulcan hating racist lady and a balding man with a bicycle

They all die horribly and a massive reset button is pressed so everyone is exactly where they were at the end of Star Trek III

In order to make that work they had to bs that the Klingon Bird of Prey was hidden in Excelsior's shuttlebay all this time despite it being way, way too big for that

There's a full on mirror universe invasion

Kirk becomes a celebrity from saving the galaxy all the time

Mr. Arex comes back and becomes chief of security but doesn't really do much

HORTA CREWMEMBER. It's as amazing as it sounds

The first Next Generation comic miniseries was made with knowledge of the first 2 or 3 TNG episodes and nothing else

Everyone is hench as fuck. Picard has washboard abs and bulging muscles

Data is emotional and Troi feels the emotions she senses a la "Encounter at Farpoint"

Wesley is drawn as if he's 10

The B-shift con and ops team are a husband and wife who wear caped superhero versions of Starfleet uniforms with bare legs.

They argue. A lot.

The crew meet an alien Santa Claus and Q loses his powers years before "Deja Q"

The whole Q Continuum visits the Enterprise and they're all John De Lancie but in Starfleet uniforms of every colour under the sun.

After that initial miniseries, the Next Gen crew lose a lot of their muscle mass and start resembling their on screen counterparts a lot better

Picard had a brother who fell down a hole and died as a child. Q offers to rewrite history so he doesn't die. Claude Picard grew up to be Space Superhitler and turns Starfleet and the Federation fascist.

Before all this Q turned Jean-Luc into a goat for the lolz

Marvel's The Early Voyages was very literally Strange New Worlds before Strange New Worlds.

They have a pyrokinetic security officer named Nano and he's awesome

Marvel lost the Trek license quite suddenly, and so the series ends on a cliffhanger where Admiral April is up to something iffy.

Marvel did a Starfleet Academy series featuring Nog and its utterly fantastic

A female Andorian cadet tries to make Nog feel at ease by greeting him in the nude, but Nog fails to take it as an innocent gesture and she immediately sends him flying across the room

Romulan agents with split personalities in Starfleet Academy!

They visit Talos IV and get help from Captain Pike, who's still alive

IDW comics did a prequel to the 2009 reboot where Picard is an ambassador, Data is captain of the Enterprise-E and Nero has hair. It was co-written by the movie writers and was considered sort of vaguely semi canon ish for a time

They originally wanted the Romulan supernova to destroy a lot more, including Earth and have Nero kill the TNG crew. It was the Star Trek Online devs that got them to scale things back because they'd have no universe left to set their game in.

Nero's ship looks like it does because after Romulus was destroyed he took it to a secret Romulan base and had it equipped with reverse-engineered Borg technology

You thought DC struggled to keep ship designs correct? IDW's comics keep using traced fan art from Google Images, and fan art (sometimes with unique ship designs) has shown up on multiple occasions as the Kelvinverse U.S.S. Enterprise

In one IDW TOS comic, the bridge is totally covered with TNG LCARS graphics.

In another, an Orion ship is a gigantic Stargate sticking out of the middle part of Battlestar Galactica.

Wanna see Kelvinverse versions of TOS episodes? That was their first comics run, picking up after the 2009 reboot movie. They start off very faithful and as the series goes on things diverge more and more

To the extent some stories have very different backstories and outcomes

We visit 2 Kelvin mirror universes and a genderswapped universe too. No, Kirk doesn't do what you're thinking.

Q visits the Kelvin Universe and brings the crew forward in time to their version of Deep Space Nine

Nero's time in Klingon prison (from the Star Trek 2009 deleted scenes) and escape is fleshed out

Nero meets V'ger.

Nero mind melds with V'ger.

V'ger turns away due to the sheer force of Nero's hatred.

I wish I was making that up.

Klingons get their hands on Narada's technology and go to war

We get a Khan backstory where the Eugenics Wars are a full on nuclear conflict and "Khan" is the title that little Noon Sing adopts when he takes power

After being revived in the 23rd century, Admiral Marcus has Khan surgically altered to look like Benedict Cumberbatch as part of his John Harrison cover identity

They did a series of shorts called Waypoint, and in the first one Geordi is captain of a future Enterprise and his crew is made up of holographic versions of Data and it's a really sweet concept (this was several years before before ST: Picard brought Data back twice)

There's a prequel series centred around Number One where nobody manages to say her name before being interrupted. If you put the bits together it seems her name was Eureka Robbins. Of course, this is long before novels and SNW made her Una Chin-Riley.

[604to647]

Code name: Hephaestus

3.2K / Marcus Pike x fem!reader

Summary: Marcus requests a change to his FBI Agent code name.

Warnings: None! Mention of cheating (obviously not Marcus! By Teresa Lisbon, that rat 😒).

A/N: This is written for Round 2 of beskarandblasters's Pedro Pantheon challenge - I sort of misinterpreted the challenge, and instead of making Marcus an actual god, I envisioned a more allegorical story? I hope it still works! I've always found the myth of Hephaestus to be rather tragic, but learned recently (to my delight) that in some renditions he goes on to have a happy second marriage with Kharis (sometimes called Aglaea), so that's how this story was born. The parallels I draw aren't terribly subtle (in fact, you could accuse me of sort of hitting you over the head with them 😅) but in our story, Lisbon is the bare equivalent of Aphrodite (just go with it 😂) and Jane is Ares; takes place in a Mentalist AU where Marcus doesn't go to DC. This is my first time writing Marcus so please be gentle (I'm nervous about this one!); endless thanks to @morallyinept for her character files which helped me get a better handle on our dear Agent Pike (I think!) Thank you for reading!

Dividers by @saradika-graphics / please see @clawdee's pinned post for the other Pedro Pantheon works.

Today is the day.  The day Marcus Pike’s approved request to change his FBI Agent code name goes live.  You’re exceptionally proud of him.

It’s incredibly rare for agents to ask for, never mind actually change their sanctioned code names; the amount of paperwork and pain in the ass database updates required were enough to have most requests denied, never mind that most agents had sentimental attachments to their top-secret monikers.  If anything, it only ever happened if circumstance necessitated – say a higher-ranking officer transferred in and used the same code name in their previous office.  No one ever asks to change just because.  Especially not to a name that had been whispered around the office for the better part of three years and made said agent the butt of a cruel joke.

Hephaestus.

Whispered in the hallways and meeting rooms of the Austin FBI building whenever his back was turned, Marcus good-humouredly admitted that there was some cleverness to it.  And though there was no real malice behind the nickname, it was inescapably insulting.

You had hated it enough for the both you. 

When you took up the job as the Austin office’s head of Public Relations, Marcus had been one of the first agents to welcome you and make you feel like your contributions and hard work were appreciated.  From your previous time in the private sector, you know that a lot of people in public service think of PR as window dressing, just frivolous adornment, but Marcus told you that he found your job to be terribly important.

“How can we protect the public if the public doesn’t trust us?  You make our jobs look inspiring and glorify our hard work so that we can do it another day.”  You’d never heard of your job being spoken about so poetically.  You would come to learn that you weren’t the only one who marveled at Marcus’ ability to look at things from an unique, often beautiful, perspective.

His valued role in the FBI’s Art Squad was never up for debate – no one else could unravel intricate mysteries and solve cases that required expertise and appreciation for the artistry of old and new creative masters the way Marcus did.  His analytical mind and problem-solving prowess when it came to art crimes were second to none in the Austin office, and some might say the whole of the FBI.  No, respect wasn’t an issue for Agent Pike.

However, as you would learn from one of your colleagues over a casual cup of coffee in the breakroom, even if they respected the hell out of him, the parallels between Marcus and his unofficial handle were too apparent for even the most high-browed FBI agents to ignore.

“I see you’ve met Hephaestus.  One of our best.”

“Hephaestus?” you muse out loud.  The God of Fire and Volcanoes?  That didn’t seem to make sense to you… but hang on, if you recalled your Greek mythology correctly, Hephaestus was also the patron god of artisans, craftsman, metallurgy, sculpture.  In your estimation, that aligned a bit more with the handsome Art Squad agent.  Your co-worker nods at your assessment but encourages you with a knowing expression for you to keep going.

An unbelievable thought crosses your mind, “Omigod, it’s not because of the limp, is it?”

The circumstances were well known around the office, but it had been Marcus himself who told you about the injury he sustained while on a case that effectively removed him from active fieldwork two and a half years ago.  He had given an overzealous art thief chase, and when the perp had been caught, they made one last ditch attempt to waylay the famous Agent Pike… with a bullet.  Though otherwise well recovered, the injury had left Marcus with a limp which permanently assigned him to desk duty.  When Marcus told you the story, it had been without any bitterness, but with an air of graceful acceptance, acknowledging his injury as a “risk that comes with the work.”

You couldn’t help but admire his steadfast commitment to the job and even-keeled approach to obstacles most people might deem to be insurmountable.

And besides, as you understood it, being taken out of active fieldwork has done nothing to slow down Marcus’ career.  He took his reprieve from field work and used it as an opportunity to emulate some of the great artists he had spend his life admiring by becoming something of a creator and maker himself.  Seeing a need for technology to become better integrated into the Art Squad’s investigative methods, Marcus began working closely with the FBI’s Tech division to develop new and innovative technological tools to fight art crimes; he became the architect behind celebrated programs and gadgets that aided in the detection of high-quality forgeries, and sophisticated applications that simplified the digital forensics in smuggling schemes.  He was something of an in-house hero – you had seen some of these tools at work, and the details in these designs were sometimes as beautiful as the traditional art hung in museums.

The trajectory of Agent Marcus Pike’s career was undoubtedly on the rise.  But even though no one, not even Marcus, viewed his limp as an impediment, you still thought the comparison to what the Greeks had considered Hephaestus’ deformity to be in bad taste.

But it was worse than you thought.  It wasn’t just because of the limp. 

Your eyes widen in horror and your heart clenches painfully for Marcus when your co-worker tells you about Lisbon and Jane. 

Most of what you knew about Marcus’ marriage to Agent Teresa Lisbon you learned from your friends at the office.  That he had given up his promotion to the D.C. office and stayed in Austin at her request (or as you saw it, a condition) before agreeing to marry him three years ago.  Teresa was partnered with a civilian consultant, Patrick Jane, with whom she previously had a close working relationship in California.  It was the Austin office’s worst kept secret that their "working relationship" had evolved into a romantic and sexual one… even as she remained Marcus’ wife.  The affair has been going on for the better part of two years, with everyone, including Marcus, privy to the fact that his wife and the mentalist were more than just partners in the field.

You’re incensed and indignant on your friend’s behalf.

As a rule, you don’t judge what goes on in other people’s relationships – it’s none of your business and you know from experience that no one ever truly knows what goes on between two people behind closed doors.  But this isn’t behind closed doors.  It’s at work.

It’s one thing to have an affair.  But it’s really another to flaunt your boyfriend in your husband’s face.  And it’s an entirely separate matter to do it at the work place you and your paramour share with your spouse.  You find yourself grinding your teeth and tapping violently at your keyboard whenever you draw up notices about the cases that Lisbon and Jane work.  You might very well even have refused to do it, except that in most cases, their success could be partially credited to Marcus. 

Because while Teresa did not find her husband worthy of being loyal to, she did deem his superior intellect worthy of helping her when she couldn’t quite puzzle out her own casework, or she found it advantageous to have an in with the new golden boy of the Tech division.  You couldn’t minimize Lisbon and Jane’s work without minimizing Marcus’ contributions as well.  Besides, it would be unprofessional to let your personal feelings bias your work, no matter how justified you felt it might be.

Even if you didn’t find her treatment of her husband to be reprehensible, you had a hard time connecting with Teresa.  While you do consider her to be a good agent, she was vain, smug and in your opinion, entirely too caught up in the appearance and perceived clout of being partners with the celebrity “Mentalist” consultant: Patrick Jane.  Jane, you couldn’t stand at all – quite frankly, his impulsive and unpredictable behaviour and frequently caviller attitude towards proper police procedure made him a risky asset.  You didn’t think it did the FBI any favours to glorify his exploits and for your part, you try not to do so.

While you quietly seethed on his behalf, Marcus remained unflappable, professional and generous when it came to all the reasons he had been bestowed his not-so-secret nickname.  It struck you as slightly odd that a man as kind-hearted and considerate as Marcus could let such insult and cruelty roll off his own back when he most certainly would not be tolerant of it being inflicted on others.  That’s one thing you learn about Marcus during the time you spend with him, be it in the Tech basement learning about all the new innovations you might have to announce, or the lunches and breaks you share – he is giving.  Benevolent even.  Bestowing on others the kindness that he’s not always shown.  He puts the good of others, the whole, ahead of himself.  It’s the whole reason he went into law enforcement. 

Not without some effort, you forbid yourself from developing and nursing a crush on your married friend.  His honour wouldn’t allow it, you’re sure, and in truth, neither does your own dignity; instead you nurture a friendship that you come to value highly with a man whose company you enjoy very much.

Once, you told Marcus that you thought he had the soul of an artist.  He had scoffed adorably at this, but listened appreciatively as you explained your assessment.  Yes, Marcus has a great appreciation for beautiful things and fine art, but he seemed to see beyond the piece itself – feeling the conviction and emotion behind every brush stroke, chiseling tap of stone, hammering of soften metal and listened to what they had to say rather than what his eyes told him.  He appreciated art for the artist, and you thought only another artist could be capable of that.

And what of his new passion for his work in Tech?  Sure, Marcus wasn’t literally chasing down bad guys in the streets anymore, but he was still pursuing them with vigor, now to the dark corners of the internet.  What was an artist but someone who reworked and shaped what was familiar in order to shine a new light on them?  Didn’t artists breathe new life and purpose into what others might see as irrelevant once its obvious usage was no longer?

And his vibrant outlook went beyond his work.  You talk animatedly over your shared lunch takeout, the one that Marcus picked up from a local Moroccan restaurant that he’s always wanted to try but had no one to try with.  “Take this food, for example,” you say. “It’s something new and maybe you won’t like it, but you’ll try!  And when you do, it won’t just be for the flavour on your tongue, but you’ll taste the culture and history behind these dishes.  You’re going to enjoy the culinary experience no matter what; even if you’re not guaranteed to like everything.”

And you know he’ll do it again!  Try another cuisine or restaurant he hasn’t before, or see a play or movie he’s never heard of!  Because artists take risks!  Even ones with low stakes because that’s what life is for.  You tell Marcus that the friend you see before you is dynamic and has the gift of seeing the potential in things (and people) where others don’t.  He takes leaps of faith and reveres life.

Marcus tells you that you might actually be the poet that you usually accuse him of being.  And though he thinks you make him out to be grander than he is (you are in PR after all!), he still thinks about your words a lot.  He supposes that perhaps he's always been an artist of sorts.

An artist creates, builds, molds – and Marcus has always firmly believed in making the best of what one is given; to see and encourage as much beauty in something as possible.  It was an artist’s gift to translate the mundane into the extraordinary, and even if he wasn’t necessarily successful, the artist wasn’t supposed to want more than or try and change what fate has handed him.  Or so Marcus had thought.

Before he met you.

Something about you and your friendship made Marcus think perhaps he didn’t have to make beautiful the cards that he had been dealt.  That it was okay to admit if something wasn’t right and not try to mold or craft it into something just this side of tolerable.  It was okay to want better, to strive for something that was actually good.  Lovely. 

Little by little over the past year, Marcus has been taking his life, his pride back.  And it fueled his desire to reclaim this name he had been mockingly bestowed and reclaim its godlike power as his own.

Yes, he’s ready to proclaim loud and proud: Marcus Pike is Hephaestus.

Marcus Pike is a lover of the arts.  An admirer of those of his fellow man who choose to create and construct, artisans and craftsmen who spin and cast stories and convey moments of deep and relatable emotion using earthly materials, metal, stone, clay, canvas, and accordingly, live on far beyond their own years.

Whose brilliant mind combines the industrious and the creative, leading the advancement of innovative technology and its implementation within the ever-evolving discipline of crime fighting.

He might never be fit for active field work the way he once was, but a renewed commitment to physio has made him stronger and leaner than he’s ever been.  He wields weights in the gym like a blacksmith might a hammer, forging muscle and strength on the anvil of his own flesh.  Far from caring about physical appearances, he sculpts his body into something hard and powerful for the calm it brings his mind, but there is no doubt about it: Marcus Pike is a physical specimen to behold.  Limp or no limp. 

And yes, Marcus Pike married a woman who did not love him and who did not deserve him.  She cheated on him with someone she thought was her equal, all the while overlooking and dismissing the quiet power and steadfast devotion of her husband.  And Marcus accepted this insult for a long time, because he thought he had to make something beautiful that wasn’t, that he could love her enough for the both of them.  But he’s come to realize that he did it mainly because she made him feel like that was all he was worthy of.  But no more.  The ink on the divorce papers has been dried for many months and now he positively basks in the love and grace of a woman who sees his true worth.

You.

The code name change is for you too, he likes to think.  Marcus doesn’t want you to feel pity for him or the parts of his life that lent connotation to this name, not that you ever did.  But he wants you to know that he feels every bit the man you’ve always treated him as: confident, virtuous, strong.

Your Agent Hephaestus.

Some time after he started divorce proceedings, Marcus had reflected a little more on your and his friendship.  It was easy and joyful.  You respected one another.  That you were objectively beautiful was neither here nor there; Marcus was a loyal partner to the core and truthfully didn’t even consider the attractiveness of other people while he was in a committed relationship… but now that he was no longer, he had to admit that he was very attracted to you.  And not just your pretty face and alluring figure, but all of you. 

You’re kind-hearted and smart, generous and compassionate.  You care.  He sees it in the way you conduct yourself at work – putting your all into making his fellow agents and analysts shine, making sure that no one was overlooked and that others feel seen and valued.  It’s certainly how you’ve always made him feel.  You’re sweet and funny – the friends that you make at the office, himself included, would attest that you were sometimes the best part of their work day.

And you’re open and joyful; up for trying and learning new things – never conceited or self-important, you wear your appreciation for the wonders of life and what it has to offer on your sleeve.  Your job is about making others look good, but you yourself rarely cared about clout or public accolades - your hard work and confident demeanor speak for themselves and unironically, you come off looking fantastic and everyone liked you, just cause.  One thing you never were was cruel or heartless – you give everyone a chance and extend grace to others even under stressful or difficult conditions.  The only thing you’re intolerant of is when others exhibited those self-serving attributes.  Once in a departmental meeting, some dinosaur had tried to cover up his own mistakes by throwing a young analyst under the bus – you had put a stop to it before the old man could finish his fib with a cutting and deliberate comment about the importance of integrity at the FBI.  Marcus had discreetly chuckled to himself and thanked whatever deity looking out for him that you seemed to always be on his side. 

Yes, Marcus admires you exceedingly.

A year ago, he had asked you out, nervous that you may not see him the way he now sees you, terrified of ruining your friendship.  You had been hesitant, but not for that reason – of course you’re attracted to Marcus, he’s one of the finest men you've ever known, but you worried that his heart might not be ready after what Lisbon had put him through.  You should have known better than to doubt Marcus’ capacity for love.  Taking a leap of faith in much the same way you admired him for always doing, you’re now happier than you could have ever dreamed.  Marcus dotes on you and makes you feel cherished like a goddess.  Sharing a life with him makes everything better: food tastes better, sunsets are more colourful, music sounds more harmonious; all because the man next to you makes everything good even better with his kindness and his care.  And he worships at the altar of your body like no one ever has, and you doubt ever could; Marcus loves on you with such devotion and wickedness that you regularly see the heavens themselves.

Marcus is an artist reborn – having taken something already amazing and precious, and transforming it into something even more beautiful.  Something that makes his life complete.

Marcus doesn’t tell you, but he also put in for a code name for you as well.  It’s not needed for the Public Relations department, and you’re not an agent in the traditional sense of the title, so you’ve never asked to be assigned one, but the paperwork for your code name has been submitted and approved.  Currently on standby, if and when you ever choose to accept it, it will be ready to go live.

Perhaps someday in the future, should both of you wish it, you’ll agree to become Agent Kharis in both name and in life.  Marcus cannot think of a code name more fitting for you than the name of one of the three Graces of the ancient Greek myths, goddess of Splendor, Glory and Adornment, and the beauty who saved Hephaestus from a life without love.

[strongheartneteyam]

Get your shit together so I can love you.

Pairing: human!jake sully x female!human!reader

CW: angsty, so angsty, established relationship, MIGHT BE TRIGGERING for some audiences, disabled person feeling insecure about their body, fluff, crying, yelling, cursing, sexual language, hurt, comfort, sexual content, mentions of sexual fluids, foreplay, mentions of fingering, jake touching reader's pussy. Please, tell me if I'm missing something 🥲

Author's note: This AU is set on 2009. Jake is just a regular 24 year old former marine who ended up losing the movement of his legs permanently after an unfortunate accident that happened while he was fighting for his country, amidst a terrible, unforgiving war. The reader is a 21 year old regular human girl. There is no sci-fi or aliens involved. I totally understand if it's not your cup of tea as it's almost not canon at all to the Avatar Universe. I guess I just kept most stuff canon to Jake as a character. As I said, it's an AU. Just call me Miss Marvel and call this a version of Jake that exists somewhere in the wide multiverse 😂 guys I'm way too sleepy and exhausted that I'm starting to sound a bit drunk... gonna shut my piehole up now. I hope you guys like it. ✨ I need to sleep ughhh ✨

Not proofread. Sorry, my babies, momma is always too tired n running low on time.

❃

I tapped on your window on your darkest night

The shape of you was jagged and weak

There was nowhere for me to stay, but I stayed anyway

You fire off missiles 'cause you hate yourself

But do you know you're demolishing me?

And then you squeeze my hand as I'm about to leave

Renegade (Big Red Machine feat Taylor Swift)

❃

You walked to your boyfriend's house, watching the starry dark sky above. It was a full moon night, its pale light bathing your skin as you thought about how you missed Jake. You had just gotten back from a family trip yesterday and hadn't had time to go over to Jake's house to see him yet. You were so anxious to see his face again that you didn't even bother to call him to let him know you were about to come over.

When you got there, as soon as you opened the door with the copy of the keys Jake had given to you, you saw a miserable looking man sitting on a wheelchair, staring at the wall, eating a burger and fries and drinking beer. You swore to God one day you'd slap his hand and tell him to eat healthier. He ate junk food and drank way too much. His face was grumpy and a little sad at the same time. But it was your Jake. It didn't matter to you that he always looked like he was done with everything, he was so freaking handsome and charming, so, you could get past his moodiness. At the end of the day, you loved him so very deeply it made you feel like there was not enough space for so much love inside your body.

"Hey, babyyy!" You say, locking the door behind you "Sorry for not calling before coming over. I'm gonna stay the night, okay? I missed you so much..." You walked towards Jake and kissed his warm cheek, leaving the keys on a piece of furniture nearby

"Hi, baby. I missed you like crazy. I'm so glad my girlfriend is back here with me." He smiled at you. That was the first time he smiled, in a truly happy way, that night. You were the light of his life, he always felt better when you were around. He had missed you like a mad man, especially at night, when he looked at pictures of you/the both of you together on his black laptop. "And I gave you the keys for a reason. No need to say sorry. It's not like I go out on Wednesday evenings anyway.. Or any night of the week" He laughed in sarcasm. "I'm always here at this time." You laughed a bit and he took another bite of his burger

"I'm gonna take a quick shower, ok? Be right back" you said loudly as you walked to the bathroom

The day you and Jake had decided to be in a serious relationship, after you let the words "I love you" slip off of your mouth, by accident (you didn't even know if he crushed back on you, let alone reciprocating your feelings), Jake was so insecure, thinking you were just playing him, that it took him one week after that happened to finally say "I love you" back. You were getting sadder and more impatient as time passed. When he finally did, it was through texting. When you saw the message in your cellphone screen, your heart raced like a wild horse in a big forest.

ত

Later that night, you and Jake were cuddling, half sitting, half laying on the couch. Jake watched a movie on the television as you tried to read a book. But your attention span was equal to zero. You felt your boyfriend's warmth beneath your body, so comforting, so inviting. You wanted him so bad. You two had been together for almost one year and no sex had ever happened. You were starting to think that maybe he didn't find you that attractive, after all. That thought was like a rusted knife digging into your heart.

You closed your book since you couldn't go past the same sentence you were reading and re-reading all over again, too many times.

You moved your body from where it was and sat on top of Jake's legs, straddling his lap, taking him by surprise. He looked at you wondering why you suddenly gave up on your book if you had been bugging him for months about how bad you wanted to read it, but, you preferred reading a physical copy, as you told him, so he bought a copy for you that he found on sale just so you could stop talking to him about the same thing over and over. But he was actually just kidding, inside his own mind. He bought it for you because he knew you were gonna get really excited, just like a little child, and thank him by showering him with kisses. He loved being kissed by his pretty girlfriend.

"The book wasn't interesting enough, babe? Weren't you dying to read it?" He chuckled and then smiled, placing his big, warm hands on your thighs, making the small, thin hairs of that part of your body stand on end

"I just can't concentrate right now. That's all..."

"Is everything alright?" He noticed the angst in your expression

"Jake... We've been together for almost one year now, and... we haven't had sex yet. Don't you... don't you feel the need to do it with me? Do you still feel attracted to me? Why do you never try to initiate anything other than kisses and caresses? You've never even tried to touch my boobs... and you told me you loved them, over texting"

"Wait, slow down a bit" Jake asked of you and you stopped to breathe a little "Of course I feel attracted to you." He put a small lock of your hair behind your ear, so he could see your beautiful face better "I want you so bad... so fucking bad, you got no idea, girl. You drive me insane, my girl. I can't resist you when you're sitting on my lap like this" He caressed your face softly, light blue eyes staring at your own

"Then don't. Don't resist me. You don't have to. You just have to let me kiss you and touch you and show you how wet you make me, without even doing anything crazy, just by touching my skin like this and letting me sit on your lap."

"Baby, I...I can't" Jake looked down, sadness clouding his beautiful face. You hated to see your boyfriend like that. Why didn't he realize he didn't need to be so insecure? You loved him, all of him. No matter how badly he always talked about his legs or the fact that he couldn't do even basic day to day activities easily, because of his disability, you didn't care. You loved him. Freaking loved him to death.

"Why not?!" You were desperate for an explanation

"I could never be all you need. I wish I could but that's wishful thinking. Don't fool yourself, (y/n)."

Your eyes got filled with tears and you felt a lump forming in your throat. It was like your chest was sore, bruised from his harsh words.

"You are all that I want! All that I need, Jake! Why can't-"

"Don't make it harder than it already is, (y/n)!" The blonde guy interrupted you, his words colder than ice, burning your skin, already so sensitive from from taking all the hurt Jake was causing you by not letting you just simply love him right, be his girlfriend... "Get off me, please." So freezing cold...

You were a crying mess already, so, you felt so weak you just obeyed him and stood up, leaving him free from your body. Jake transferred himself from the couch to his wheelchair as fast as he could. He then started wheeling himself away from where you were

"Please...Please!" You say, chasing your crazy boyfriend like an idiot, while he moves his wheelchair fast towards his small room "stop being so insecure and just lemme love you." Jake stops, his freckled pale arms turning the wheels around so he could look at you

"Why do you insist on being tied down to a cripple?! Don't you get it?! You are so, so damn beautiful, (y/n). Your smile, your hair, your body... Jesus, your fucking body... You're so hot. You deserve... a man who can give you all that a relationship can offer. I can't be that man. I will never be him. I'm sorry you don't get it, but it's time for you to move on!!!" He yelled. You've never seen Jake so angry. His face was red, his eyes were gleaming, tears starting to roll down his face. He felt like his heart was breaking in a billion little pieces. He'd rather go through war, become traumatized and then have his spine injured all over again, because, honestly, it would hurt him less than what he was doing to you right now. But he knew he had to do it. "I love my (y/n) so much, I always will. But she should be happy, free from me." He thought

"Stop running away from me, Jacob Sully!" You ordered, as soon as you catch up to Jake, getting inside his room, your breath heavier than normal "I'm warning you, I will take you in my arms, no matter if you say you're too heavy, and I will lay you on this bed, against your will, if that's what I need to do so you will stop pushing me away! And don't ever call yourself a "cripple" again! I swear to God, you're testing me tonight! I won't let you speak like that about yourself. Never again! Do you understand me?!" You almost screamed

Jake sighed heavily, in defeat. With both arms, he started to support himself on his wheelchair, moving his body to the bed.

One he was settled there, sitting down with his back against the cushioned bed frame, he spoke: "Baby, I'm sorry for yelling at you like that... it was wrong. You don't deserve that. Please, forgive me." Looking at you with those eyes he had you on your knees, every single time.

"It's okay..." You looked hurt but your forgave him. You wanted to try and forget that had ever happened.

"I love you... so much."

You gazed at him and felt a need to comfort him

You sat on his bed, beside him and held his hand. After some time, you and Jake were cuddling, you sitting on his lap. He brought his mouth to yours and kissed your lips. You missed his kisses so much that you got wet so easily, just like a virgin would.

Jake grabbed the back of your head with care and deepened the kiss, using his tongue to massage yours. The way he kissed you was leaving your lips slicked with his saliva. You moaned and he held tight on to your waist, heavy breathing, his warm breath colliding with your own, the two of you getting drunk on each other. His lips were crushing against yours and that felt so amazing.

Out of nowhere, he stopped the kiss and when you tried to kiss him again he gently pushed you away, seeming uncomfortable.

"I gotta stop, baby... I can't pleasure you more than this..." he looked defeated

"Of course you can. You have fingers and a mouth, don't you? Then put them to use, baby. Your girl is begging you to pleasure her. Don't you want to help me out a bit?" You started to kiss his neck gently but sloppy. You breathed his scent in. It was so familiar, so comforting to you. He smelled like home. Home, for you, was wherever Jake was, right by your side.

Jake was starting to slowly give in and he let out a breathy moan. You felt happiness creeping in your head, your heart beating faster.

Jake did something that in his mind, was so damn bold. He dared to touch you in a very intimate way - he was as nervous as a teenager having his first sexual experience - moving his hand from the bed sheet until it got to your entrance. Jake's breath faltered as he touched your coated folds gently, his chest tightening while he looked at your face. His light brows furrowing, his demons still trying to convince him that you could not be turned on because of him.

"Sweetheart, you're so soft... just so... so wet." He was getting shaky, aroused as hell, feeling how wet you were for him

He was finally ready to just relax and enjoy the moment, as he touched your coated pussy.

"Wait a bit, will ya?" You ask, getting off his lap, standing on your feet and then stripping down to him. Your clothes were laying on the floor, as you felt a little shy but excited to see his reaction to seeing your naked body for the first time.

"Fuck, my baby. How did I get so lucky? Your body is so fucking perfect...." He put his hand up in the air, towards your own hands and you grabbed it and let him sit you back on his lap.

Jake started to touch your breasts softly, his mouth slightly open, desire scorching his insides. Your skin burned so good beneath his fingers. Then, he placed his big fingers on your slit

"God, this fucking wet pussy..." he was having trouble breathing but he loved the way you messed with his head

"I'm all yours, baby. Please, just let go and make love to me. I need you so bad it hurts me physically." You begged him to put an end to your misery

"Is that what my babygirl really wants?" He murmured, his voice low and sexy, ringing on your ears

"Yes, my love. Please... I'm so wet, Jake... only for you, my baby." You felt his fingers touching your pussy and your body became limp

"I love your pussy, baby. So velvety, warm and juicy. Can't wait to slide my fingers inside of you over and over again until you're all sweaty and whimpering"

❃

[lace-coffin]

I have a request. Could you pretty please do some spicy headcanons of Asa with a bratty S/O 🙏. He probably has no tolerance for disobedience so having a bratty pet would result in punishment. Apologies I'm a horny bastard lmao 😂

How would Asa Emory cope with a bratty s/o? (Nsfw)

Asa Emory x gn!bratty!reader

Trigger warning for sexual content- bdsm- power exchange/ power dynamic- spanking

If you asked Asa if he likes brats a few months ago he would frown and say no. Not enjoying the constant battle and frustration of trying to subdue them, Asa wants complete submission and expects nothing less.

If you asked Asa if he likes brats in the present day he would smirk and tell you “they’re not as clever as they think they are” thinking fondly of you, at home, still chained to the wall where he left you, hopefully that is, you’re a slippery one to hold down.

Had Asa known you’d been a brat when scouting you for the collection he wouldn’t have bothered, would’ve found someone more easy to command. God is he thankful he didn’t.

He expected to hate training you, but he couldn’t love it any less. You were harder to break down than previous pets, kicking, swearing,spitting, straight up ignoring him sometimes. The punishments that followed were indulgent for him, marvelling at the way you fought hard at first, all gnashing teeth and scratches.

This was no longer the case once Asa had wrestled you to floor, both panting and glaring eachother down. Pinning your arms above your head and sliding his leather belt out of the loops. Shit. You knew where this was going. This only makes you thrash harder, legs jutting into his stomach, winding him momentarily.

Regaining his position over you he snatches your legs, fastening the belt around your claves and securing them. Before you can even think to fight back your hauled over to the sofa and slung over Asa’s knees, bottoms and underwear ripped down unceremoniously.

“Now, pet, you can either choose to apologise and the punishment will be lighter or you can continue being the dumb little mutt we both know you are and receive the full extent of it.” A moment passes in silence….”get fucked” you spit back. “You never learn, there really isn’t anything going on up there is there? You need daddy to tell you how and when to think, it’s pathetic.”

They way you break down into a dumb sobbing mess is beautiful in Asa’s eyes, all big talk and flailing until his black gloved hand comes down onto your exposed ass, again and again,leaving you begging and sobbing out apologies.

Asa looks at you pitifully, taking in the tears clinging your lashes and the rosey hue of your beaten ass, he knows you’ll be feeling it for the next day or two. His gaze softens as he rubs some ointment on your red behind and pulls your underwear back up, manoeuvring you to lay on the sofa on your side, careful not to put pressure on your butt.

He hushes your whines of complaint as he leaves briefly to get you a snack and a juice box, he may be a sadistic dom/lover but he’s not an improper one, aftercare is non negotiable and is always first priority after a scene.

He returns and settles into the sofa next to you, prompting you to sit upright so he can feed you, your brain still fuzzy and airy in Subspace.

Your master runs a hand over your cheek, wiping away a stray tear and looking at you smittenly. “See how easy it is when you’re good for me? You can just be a little pet and let master do the thinking ok? No need to be bratty. Just let daddy handle all the difficult things and it’ll be ok.” he practically coo’s at you, fondly committing your far away subby look to memory. “I have you, my silly cricket”

[myheartalivewrites]

20 questions for fic writers

Hey @cha-melodius thanks for tagging me in this!

How many works do you have on ao3?

23

What's your total ao3 word count?

329,905

What fandoms do you write for?

RWRB and A Marvellous Light (The Last Binding trilogy). I've been thinking about writing for We Could be So Good by Cat Sebastian since I read it last week. I loved it so much I binge read 3 other books by the same author straight after, and then turned right back to WCBSG. Book rec for everyone who's not read it!

Top five fics by kudos:

Deep Blue

Just Like That.

Oxford Days

In His Wildest Dreams

A tie for fifth! Have One (On Me) and Tumbled Down and Tangled Up

Do you respond to comments?

Yes! Unless they're a bit dodge lol

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is the question that reminds me I've done this game before hehe. I'm only interested in happy endings so this is hard to choose, but Don't Wanna Be A Fool For You is quite angsty and ends just as they're getting over the angst, so I have to go with that.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I always write happy endings, BUT, if I must choose, I'm gonna go with a non-RWRB fic here. in your room, like a temple is an epilogue of sorts to A Marvellous Light, and it makes me SO HAPPY to have written this settled future for Robin and Edwin.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually, though I did get a couple of annoying comments on my first threesome fic from people who thought their own vision of monogamy for Alex and Henry was something they had to come and tell me about 🙄

Do you write smut?

hahahahhaaaaaaaa yes

Craziest crossover:

Never done one

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No! Someone did ask me about translating Deep Blue but I don't think they've followed through with it. I'd love it though

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No

All time favorite ship?

Alex and Henry

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oooh, I don't have any WIPs on ao3 to feel guilty about. What sits on my hard drive is between me and my atheist god (also me)

What are your writing strengths?

Yikes, ok! Here are things I like about my writing: I like the way I write smut that's super emotional AND super hot, and all the different ways I've come up to make smut scenes different from each other (because writing them can sometimes feel repetitive from my perspective). I like the way I play with rhythm in sentences and build tension in scenes. I like the way I build emotional and sexual tension in a piece overall. Please no one drop into the notes to tell me they disagree 😂

What are your writing weaknesses?

I CANNOT come up with external obstacles! Whenever I'm trying to plot something out and I'm trying to come up with BIG PLOT REASONS to keep people apart, my brain just freezes. I love internal obstacles, the emotional reasons why people choose to do the things they do, but as for external things to move the plot along (think Jeffrey Richard leaking emails, Queen Mary telling Henry how to live his life) I'm just... ultimately uninterested in them. Which is fine if it's a choice, and I love a lot of writing just like that, but I wish my brain could at least TRY.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Like it.

First fandom you wrote in?

RWRB

Favorite fic you've written?

Haha good one. Changes all the time. Current fave: Paper Chains, I think (a personal stab to my heart how much it's underrated). I tried something new for me with the structure, and I think the emotional punches hit so hard, I'm so proud of it. Or maybe the new one for RBB, called Foxden Park. Coming soon!

No pressure tags (and sorry if you've already done this and I've missed it!): @thesleepyskipper @firenati0n @welcometololaland @inexplicablymine @sparklepocalypse

@onetwistedmiracle @tintagel-or-cockleshells @historicallysam @cultofsappho @14carrotghoul

@suseagull04 @magicandarchery @itsmaybitheway @porcelainmortal @anincompletelist and anyone who fancies joining in! 😘

[munchkinmarauder]

My (slightly unhinged) review of Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver #2

4.5/5 stars 🤩 - potential spoilers below the cut

Loved this issue and really wish this series would be longer, the twins are at their best together! It's also resolved a lot of doubts I had from the first issue. I liked this more than the previous issue. It got the balance between the twins right. Showed some really cool uses of Pietro's powers and let him be powerful in his own right. Orlando immediately puts limits on those abilities but that's what writers should do with their characters and this is the most creative a writer has gotten with Pietros powers in a long time so props to Orlando for that.

Loved that protective big sis Wanda is back. The minute she hears the Wizard mention her brother she goes Cthon. There was an interesting emphasis on the twins hands in the first few pages of the issues.

And ofc our boy Tommy is back and he is glorious!!! Love that we have confirmation Pietro and Tommy regularly spend time together.

Thank god Vision was only there for three panels - I hate hate hate him being shoved into Wandas stories. They've been divorced 40 years marvel stop trying to make things happen cause of the MCU 😂 Though going back to your toxic ex when you've lost everything - kind of sadly relatable lol. I know there will be more of him in the next issue but I hope it's not loads more as I'm honestly more interested in Pietro and Tommy which are bound to be the more fun and interesting dynamic.

I do wonder if the Vision is there to reveal what he learned about the twins in the uncanny avengers counter evolutionary arc back in 2015. Hopefully he reveals it and leaves! Id rather see Luna or Monet back.

I am so curious about the idea of Wanda being the power and Pietro the catalyst (Does it have implications for Billy and Tommy?). This idea does center Wanda in a way and treats Pietro as supplemental but I don't dislike it I feel it matches the twins existing lore. I think were gonna see a combined twin power perhaps, otherwise why would the Giver refer to both of them - they specifically say the "twins can affect all realities and break them" and "the twins cannot be allowed to effect space time" and thats significant. looking back Pietro has nearly always been a catalyst for Wandas biggest shows of power - HoM in particular stands out. I alway thought about him promising to help her create the new reality and wondered how he did that. Very excited for this series - hopefully Pietro becomes a regular in the new SW solo because Wanda's stories are for the better with her brother! 

[danpuff-ao3]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @lizzy0305! 😘

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

118 altogether. Some old Marvel fics, some meta...107 of them are HP fics.

2. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only Harry Potter, though I've got some old Marvel ones up.

3. Top five fics by kudos:

Oh hey! It's changed since I last checked...my Top 5 used to be all from the Yes, Daddy series, but a couple of others broke through! Now we have...

Daddy's Boy

Obscene

Daddy Knows Best

Breed Me, Daddy

Contempt

4. What’s your total ao3 word count?

749,120 as of now!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I do my best to! I've had a hard time keeping up with it lately, but my goal is to get to them all eventually...I want all of my commenters to know how very much I appreciate them!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Haha...haha...huh. Idk. I write too much angst 😭 How am I supposed to pick? I think either A Matter of Time or In My Veins (In My Blood) are probably the worst 2, maybe?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

...do I write happy endings? Jk, jk...Oh yeah! The Curse of Anteros for sure has a happy ending. A well earned one at that!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Sometimes! Collateral Damage got some hate for a certain twist 👀 Most of my dead doves get weird comments, because I don't pull my punches. The odd weird or rude comment scattered elsewhere. I try to handle it with grace, but honestly I'm a big ole sensitive baby so...🥲

9. Do you write smut?

Oh hell yeah 😈

10. Craziest crossover?

No crossovers really, though I want to write a HP + PJO crossover one day...

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, and may it stay that way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! And I'm super honored by it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not yet! But I'd like to one day.

14. All time favourite ship?

Snarry 4 life.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably old ones from my earlier days, but anything I've posted within the past few years I fully intend on finishing. Even if smile with sweet surprise only gets 1 update a year 🤣

16. What are your writing strengths?

idk 🥲 umm...I write emotions pretty well I think. I write angst pretty well especially. I really care about the characters and portraying them as honestly as I can, and as real as I can, accepting all of their humanity, good and bad.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Hmm. I don't think I could write fluff to save my life...I've made some attempts but 😂 I struggle a lot with my work for various reasons, none of them easy to put a name to. I do have a hard time balancing the idea of...wanting to leave a lot to implication, but trying not to be so subtle people don't actually have a hope of catching on at all. (Thank god for beta readers.)

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I like it, but I worry about Google Translate failing me 😭

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Harry Potter!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

For sure it's Contempt, and its counterpart Devotion. Truly the story of my soul. All of my feelings about Snarry poured into it. 20+ years of passion and devotion to this pairing! I'm not sure I could love anything more or be prouder of anything more. (Though I do think The Curse of Anteros is my best work, but Contempt/Devotion will always have my heart!)

Tagging: @perverse-idyll, @writcraft, @ac1d6urn, @loneamaryllis, @fleetingdesires, @greenmegsnoham, @lqtraintracks, @somnwritessometimes, @aeternumregina, @broomsticks, @thistlecatfics, @maesterchill, @wolfpants, @mintawasalreadytaken, @saintsenara, @the-paper-monkey, @ashesandhackles, and anyone else who wants to play!

[mermmarie]

18, 19, 20, and 25?

18. What TMNT show/movie would you like to watch right now?

Oooh... Everything is pretty much readily accessible to me, so I'd have to go with the new series coming out for Mutant Mayhem! o: I'm super excited to see how it goes!

19. Show us your most recently saved TMNT pic or GIF

FHWJEHJHEHE

This was my icon on discod for all of BHM. 😂

20. What show/movie would you like the TMNT to crossover with?

SPIDERMAN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!

Everyone keeps telling me to watch the Batman movie crossover and I'm sure it's good, but I really don't care for Batman. 😭 It seems like TMNT has a contract with DC of some sorts, so something Marvel related will probably never happen but I feel like the turtles could relate SO MUCH MORE TO SPIDERMAN! Especially Miles!!

25. Show us what your reaction would be if you met the TMNT

Oh god. I hate thinking about stuff like this becuase I have a really low opinion of myself and would cry if my fave characters didn't like me. 😂

Probably something like this?

Thank you for the ask! 💖

[diabolicalcunt]

I feel the need to pin this cause I’ve always been notorious for people loving me when they first meet me, and then finding out that my political views are not extremely liberal. So here’s all the reasons you will hate me once you get to know me. Or not. I honestly don’t care I’m just sick of the ‘You aren’t who I made you out be in my head!’ conversations.

So my unpopular opinions in no order-

1. They/them is something that’s being encouraged by big brother to see yourself as non or less human.

2. DID isn’t real and you just disassociate a specific way. I look like I’ve been drugged cause I fall down ‘inside’ myself like a well and have no reaction time and can barely speak. I’m like a sloth. You pretend to be a anime character. It’s just coping.

3. The concept of trans genocide is fear mongering by big brother and means to keep boundaries between social groups.

4. To build off 3, the push to medically transition underage children is a move by big pharmaceutical companies to create a permanent customer. Because whether you decide to stay transitioned or de transition, you’re going to be on medication for the rest of your life whether you like it or not. There’s also the whole issue with child exploitation. You’ll be judgmental against Dance Moms, but you won’t say anything about a mom who transitioned her child when they were two years old and made them a social media star.

5. Trans men and women who have been charged with a crime belong in LGBT prison wings. Because we have created a culture where male rapists can put on its dress and be rewarded with a permanent stay in the hen house where they can victimize more women and the system will just cry transphobia and call the victims liars. You got a problem with that? I have never seen a trans man pushing to get put in men’s prison. I wonder why… 😐

6. Blair White is queen.

7. I will fight Henry Cavill on sight. I don’t give a shit how bad you want motorboat him. He’s a fucking pedophile.

8. Same goes for David Bowie. When I get to the afterlife I’m gonna make him wish he could die again. Ask me if you want my full on sight list. 😂

9. I stand with Palestine. Yes I think Islam is a horrible religion that is anti woman. I still don’t think kids should die for the grievances of adults and I think it’s fucked up Israel is doing the same shit Nazis did to them and expect us to nod and smile!

10. Qu**r is just as much of a slur as f*g*t or n*gg*r. I don’t use it and if you do I will block you no questions asked. Say gay! Say lesbian! Say…bisexual! 😱

11. Butch women are valid as fuck and I adore y’all . They aren’t trans men, fuck your lesbian phobia.

12. To build off 11, the new LGBT movement has been infected by woke homophobia and the new trans movement is nothing but conversion therapy in a mask.

13 . Radical feminists are women’s last hope.

14. Marvel movies always sucked, we were just kids and ate up the pretty colors.

15. Dune is a white male savior story.

16. Your fave is not autistic, trans, gay or whatever. You just need validation cause you have no confidence.

17. The Boys should have never cast Jensen Ackles and the Supernatural fandom needs psychological help.

18. Too many of y’all try to primp and posture as the gods of your fandom and yes I say that as someone who did the same and stepped away when I realized how cringe I was. Lording over autistic adults and actual children is pathetic. Get therapy and a real hobby.

19. While gender neutral fanfiction has its place. The trend that all fanfiction needs to be gender neutral is literally killing the creativity and frankly the spice to fanfiction. I hate this trend where piece of media needs to be sterilized so it can be consumed by anyone, even people just passing by. It goes against the concept of creating at its core. Sometimes things are made for specific groups. Sometimes it’s made just for you. The things you create do not need to be sanitized to the point there’s no substance, just a hollow consumption. Think of it this way. Would you rather have a hot pizza of your preference or would you prefer to just drink a bowl of water because someone on the other side of the world might not like pizza?

20. The WWE Divas belt was iconic. I get the whole take women wrestlers seriously movement and I agree! But god damn it, it’s a Bratz belt!!! Gimme!!!!!

21. I fucking HATE koalas. They literally only exist because humans have dumped millions of dollars and keeping them alive. If natural selection were allowed to take his course, they would’ve died off 100 years ago. The food they consume has so little nutrition that they have evolved to have the smallest brain to cranium capacity of any animal to create a built in helmet!! Why? Cause they are so stupid they literally fall out of trees and drop their infants!!! They shit on their young and have permanent diarrhea due to the 0 nutrition thing. They carry chlamydia. They’re so fucking stupid they can’t fuck and have to be artificially inseminated to continue the population. If I couldn’t get laid on my own, the government would not drop millions of dollars into making sure I do!! So why did koalas get it? Literally a waste of resources that could be going to feed thousands of hungry children and instead we’re keeping a fucking retarded (I’m on the spectrum fuck you) animal alive who should have gone extinct hundreds of years ago cause it’s supposedly ‘cute’!! God! I hate koalas!

[ace-of-hearts-and-spades]

Ok look pyramid head is trying to kill you! Yeah! And he might also be a manifestation of your guilt, yeah! But that’s like rookie stuff. No different than wanting to fuck Jason or something!

He doesn’t even have tentacles…

God maybe I’ve been on tumblr too long

My darling friend, I think you have been on Tumblr too long 😂 “Trying to kill you” is enough to make the average bitch uninterested. Like, listen – the current beauty standard is Marvel superheroes. The current beauty standard can’t even handle fucking body hair. Pyramid Head might be big and beefy, but he’s covered in blood and grime, he’s wearing a butcher’s apron, he’s hauling around a bigass sword, he’s got that bigass metal triangle thing on his head, he doesn't speak, and he’s trying to kill you he’s literally trying to murder the fuck out of you. That is a total boner killer for the average person. Tumblr is extremely unrepresentative of the average population.

And yeah…… hate to break it to you buddy, but there are a shitton of people who wouldn’t fuck Jason either 😅 Because, again, he kills people. And depending on which Jason you’re talking about, he’s also a rotting wet zombie. So. Y’know. There's that.

[darthbloodorange]

Treaty Solution

Rating: Teens Universe: Marvel Cinematic Universe Pairings: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Warnings: Swearing, Implied Sexual Content, Mpreg (Sort of? I Guess?), Eggpreg, Xenophilia Major Tags: Canon Divergence AU, Different First Meeting AU, Crack Treated Seriously, Humour, Pre-Relationship, First Meetings, Interspecies Relationship (Not between Stony), Aliens, Tony Stark is So Done, Frustrated Tony Stark, Steve Rogers is a Little Shit, Steve Rogers Gives 0 Fucks (Well… He gave one and now has none 😂), Implied Bottom Steve Rogers, POV Tony Stark Word Count: 500 - Quintuple Drabble

Summery: That's it! Tony hates Captain America. He just met the guy, and he's nothing like the old war stories. Captain Rogers is just pure trouble.

For the: ✦ @tonystarkbingo Round 8 - Interspecies [Adopt]

Read below or on AO3 >HERE<

Tony paces, wearing a hole into the tile of the spaceship's sleeping quarters. His hands, tightly clenched, are kept firmly in his pockets. He's sure he'd start pulling his hair out otherwise, and he has an image to maintain.

Hell, how was he going to break this situation to Fury?

It was meant to be a difficult mission, yes. But fairly straightforward.

Meet the horrifyingly tentacled aliens that had shown up in their solar system. Treaty for peace. Return home, alive.

The aliens supposedly asked SHIELD for Earth's mightiest. Shield sent him and Captain Fucking America.

Tony doesn't know if the Captain America they sent him was the real deal or if SHIELD just sort of synthesized him in a lab. But he hopes it's the latter. Because this one is broken. Well, not broken... But... well...

Tony sighs, his whole body sagging. "Fuck..."

How do you tell the not-just-a-little terrifying head of a sketchy organization that you've been developing weapons for that you kind of impregnated their Captain America? Well, not him, personally. He didn't put the eggs there. But he didn't know that he had to make sure Captain America didn't go and breed with the potentially hostile Alien race they were trying to broker peace with.

Maybe he was wrong, assuming the guy was xenophobic, not xenophilic... But who'd blame him?

Tony pulls his hands out of his pockets and buries his face in them. Letting out a muffled scream.

Fury's going to kill him. Maybe Fury wouldn't do it himself... But his death warrant was signed. Maybe Fury would get that hot redhead to do it? That might be nice. Give him something pretty to look at while he goes. With his luck lately, it'll be Agent Coulson.

Tony takes several slow breaths that do nothing to settle his nerves.

Maybe he could just send Cap back to Fury and let him find out in 9 months time what happened.

...But the guy already looks 6 months along.

"Relax, Tony," The offending individual says from his stretched-out position on the bed.

Tony glares at him. "No. Nah. Uh no. First name privileges have been revoked."

Captain America rolls those damn pretty blue eyes of his. "Sure thing, Mr. Stark."

'He will not strangle Captain America! He WILL NOT strangle Captain America!!!'

"God, don't- Don't do that either. 'Mr Stark' just reminds me of my dad."

Cap just shrugs, nuzzling his face into the pillows. His right hand rubbing over the large swell of his belly.

Tony looks away, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling rising within him.

"You know, you could look just a little bit concerned about this whole situation," he says.

"We secured the treaty. Everything is on the up and up."

"It's not! Or have you forgotten the eggs in your gut?"

"I don't mind it."

"I hope it's not a chest-burster. For both our sakes."

First week of knowing Cap, he'd thought they were going to get along surprisingly well.

God, Tony hates him.

THE END

[ohcurseit]

Instant inspiration😂 Toji drabble

Inspiration here. Both the post and Nanami are so fucking cute. Here is a less cute Toji version.

Note: No curse AU, stepson/bf's young son Megumi. Toji is just a bit stronger than regular peiple not as insane as in manga. Otherwise I doubt if regular medicine will work on him lolllll

=======================

Toji slowly came back to conscious. He felt the bed and thought he was not at his own place. He was not in some woman's place as well. It didn't smell like it. He struggled a little to open his eyes to look at the surroundings. He heard some beeping sound from one corner of the room.

Marvelous, he was in a hospital room.

He fucking hated hospitals with passion. He wanted to get out of bed and walk out. Before he could make a run for it, a tiny human made a quick phone call next to him: "He is awake now. He looks like he is going to run off."

Toji turned his head to the other side and saw himself sitting in a chair. He furrowed his brows and stared at the his miniature self. He was sitting nicely in the chair next to his bed, legs dangling, with a book on his lap: "Who are you? Me?"

The tiny human pouted. He huffed and held his book open right in front of his face. He didn't want to talk to his old man.

The boy was annoying, Toji decided. He wanted to wave his hand at the tiny human but he couldn't even lift a finger. He grumbled: "Oi! I am talking to you, little shit!"

The boy pouted more behind his book. The door clicked open and he jumped off the chair and hugged the grown up's leg.

In came a woman. She was not Toji's usual type but pretty enough. She picked the boy up with a carrier bag hanging from her shoulder: "You alright, Megumi?" The boy hugged his little body around hers and mumbled: "Old man is so mean. He called me names."

She rubbed soothing circles on his back: "Aww sorry Megumi. Isn't he shit?" The boy nodded.

No amount of beauty could undo Toji's anger now. He shouted from the bed: "Oi! Who are you guys? Why are you in my room?"

The woman raised a brow and put the carrier bag on the bedside table: "Well, we are your creditor. Pay up."

He sneered: "Creditor?"

The boy now sat nicely on her lap watching the two grown ups with great interest. That shit eating grin on the boy's face was insufferable, Toji thought. Which it looked exactly like his own.

She chuckled: "How are you feeling?"

She looked pretty when she smiled, Toji thought to himself. Or rather, he didn't realise he mused aloud. The kid and the woman both laughed.

Toji scowled. The boy only laughed even harder. Toji was utterly confused now: "Who even are you?"

The boy said loudly: "Megumi!"

Toji let out a sigh of relieve. Good, he wasn't going insane. That's not himself sitting there on a woman's lap. Though there was no relieve from the second wave of their laugh.

The woman put a drink packet from her carrier bag to the over bed table in front of him. She was still smiling at the unintended entertainment: "Have something to drink, dear debtor. Doctor said you can go home either tomorrow or the day after."

Toji looked between her and the drink in front of him: "Are you going with me?" He gave her a look. A look that got him to any and every pussy he wanted.

Her eyes glinting with amusement: "Of course. How else can I make sure you pay up the child support?"

"Child support?! How am I paying for your brat?" Toji was shocked by her audacity. God knew he only ever did one thing religiously: using condoms. Judging from how the kid stuck to her like a plaster, that's her kid no doubt. He flat out refused to acknowledge the kid looking like a carbon copy of himself.

Megumi's eyes lit up. He was told his old man may get confused when he woke up. He didn't quite like a confused old man but he liked what he said just now. He liked being "her kid".

The woman was thoroughly amused. She put a straw into the packet drink and put the straw right next to his lips. She said gently: "Drink up, Toji. Get some rest before you can go home."

He sucked on the straw as if he was under some spell: "You going with me?" He said chewing on the straw. He was drifting but fought to stay awake for the answer. He took sip after sip to help staying awake.

She took the empty packet away when he drank it all. Toji was lying on the bed feeling disoriented and weak. She held his hand gently to her lips and placed a little kiss on his knuckles: "Of course. That's our home."

Toji fell asleep soon after. Once Toji started to snore quietly, the woman asked the kid in a hush voice: "Did you record it?" The kid gave her a smug smile and nodded. The woman's eyes sprakled with the same mischief: "Well done Megumi!"

============================

It's just a quick drabble for fun, so no edit.

Megumi is going to be the perfect partner in crime.😂😂😂😂

[lettingtimepass]

INITIAL LOKI SEASON 2 FINALE THOUGHTS

okay........... FIRST OF ALL......... DISNEY YOU QUEER-BATING FIENDS, WHY DID YOU CALL THE EPISODE "GLORIOUS PURPOSE" WITH THE THUMBNAIL AS A PHOTO OF MOBIUS???? WHAT WAS THE REASON?????

*Exhales deeply*

Anyway..............

Things I liked:

LOKI IN GREEN AND HORNS AGAIN!!!! SO BADASS!!! And the horns were made of the same material as the Ciditel!! so damn cool!!!

LOKI MADE THE WORLD TREE 😭😭😭😭😭

Showing the new and improved TVA at the end with the World Tree!!!!

Loki was ultimately able to give Mobius what he wanted. The chance to choose. I'm just devastated they didn't get to choose to be together.

The end showing that Loki is keeping an eye on Mobius.

Unhindged Mobius grabbing Loki and saying "what the shit are you doing??" or something to that effect 😂

Loki's convo with Mobius in the Time Theater. The reveal that Mobius was a hunter and Renslayer was his partner.

Things I didn't like:

I’m sorry but why did Loki not kill Sylvie 😭 There's no way you fight in a time loop with someone for god knows how long and don't get frustrated enough to just say fuck it hahahah

Obviously... that Loki and Mobius didn't have a real moment together. I mean, a handshake?! The two are clearly in love and we get a handshake???

That Loki didn't show up with Mobius at the very end. I was holding my breath. I mean I still liked that it showed he was listening, but STILL, I wanted Loki to join him and they could stand there together 🥺 That would at least leave it more open-ended.

IDK HOW TO FEEL:

"I know what I kind of God I want to be for you." AND HE LOOKS AT BOTH MOBIUS AND SLYVIE. I HATE YOU MARVEL YOU DIRTY ASS BITCH. I'll get over this but at the moment I'm mad hahah.

Loki, who never wanted the throne, who just wanted to be seen as an equal (which he got at the TVA), finally getting his golden throne. All his friends are safe, but now he's alone 😭😭😭 "I don't want to be alone." WHY did Loki have to make the sacrifice and Sylvie gets a life?? Mehhhh. At least this does indeed open it for Loki to come back in upcoming movies. And imagine Thor meeting THIS Loki 😳 Now THAT could actually be interesting. Because Thor would be able to see right away this Loki is not HIS Loki.

Anyway, I'll watch again at some point this weekend and make some more notes. But.... yeahhhh. That indeed was a show 🫡

[weirdlotiel]

Why Marvel

Why????

I hate the finale of Loki.

I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭😭😭😭😭😭

Ugh, I should get used to his… misfortune, but it’s sad.

I mean, the episode was great in general but… 😭😭😭 I cried.

Never, ever am I watching this series again 😂

Do you guys think that… maybe, just maybe, we’ll see more of loki? Somewhere? Anywhere?

I wish we didn’t have to leave him like that. Although in a way this was the goal here. His destiny or sth. Even though he didn’t know that back when we saw him in Avengers for the first time.

To become a god who holds the multiverse together.

Now that is a Glorious Purpose indeed.

(And he’s better at this than dr Strange and others, that’s for sure.)

But I’m still gonna cryyyyyyyy

😭😭😭