#god i better get good money for this
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i NEED to get a little treat or ill go insane
#this close to opening the first shopping site that passes me and buying smt i dont need#currently 13 hours into this work shift only got like 2 more hopefully... 3 hours from now i could b sleepin....#and then tomorrow i start early again!#ive been refreshing my artfight all day like art? art for rama? please? that would count as perfect little treat#it would fix me.#shut up dave#its like 2:30 AM so im probably just tired. i wanna go hooome i wanna sleeep but i have to WORK.#god i better get good money for this#in other news i look so good. sure ive been wearing platforms all day. at work. but it is worth it for fashion <3
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FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.
Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!
#I spent 10 minutes picking her out omfg#not even exaggerating. I was deciding between this one and one of the last 3 unstuffed PKs#altogether there was only 5 of them left in the store including the 2 stuffed displays#the other one I was looking at had a nearly perfect pumpkin eye patch but less pumpkins overall#and their face wasn't as nice plus the ears were a bit wonky for my taste.#tho it was really hard to tell which would be better while they were unstuffed and flat#in the end I chose Latte because right away she looked to have a sweet face. her ears were nice and she had better patch placement#including a couple full patches on her tail#tbh if I'd had the money I might have bought both because the decision was hard#the bear builder actually asked if I was alright while I concentrated on studying each of those damn cats#I apologized and explained wtf was up with me. she was very understanding#I've always had this quirk where sometimes it'll take forever for me to pick between plushies I really want#especially if they're both the same exact plush. because then I gitta focus harder on finding out which has the better personality#you get what I mean?#anyways this has been a thing for me even as a real little kid#I remember spending and hour-hour and a half almost every time when my dad took me to choose my monthly webkinz#“my monthly webkinz” god that makes me sound so privileged. it was the nicest/best thing my dad could afford to get me because we were poor#he wanted to spoil me as all good fathers do but that was the most he could afford and I was always so grateful and still am! but I digress#anyways I took way too long to pick which kitty would become my Latte#but I'm glad I had the opportunity to choose yet alone to actually see pumpkin kitty irl available for purchase#what do you guys think of her?#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#build a bear#BAB#pumpkin kitty
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(idk if anyone wants to keep hearing my opinions on totk book stuff but-)
apparently it says that rauru DID have kids, multiple even, which yeah... is kinda necessary for zelda to even be connected to them so much so that sonia can SENSE a blood connection (which, even with all the excuses with magic, is just a little too far for me to suspend my disbelief bc its over, OVER, ten thousand years worth of generations that seperate her from them that one lil touch of the hand can sense that (feels more like an attempt to make you care about them or .. see them as zeldas "better" parents just bc they exchange a few nice words, i never got the feeling they were 'better' parents and its also kinda disrespectful to her actual parents, like sure rhoam wasnt the best but i wouldnt call rauru better just bc he was polite)- i could see maybe the light power of hylia or sth but since its the coolest dude that ever lived rauru now that had it which still doesnt make sense and makes me unreasonably annoyed and she can sense BOTH of their powers in her? nah) the fact theres NOTHING about them in the game itself is just so ... no way they planned any of this
i dont think theres anything they can do or say that wont make be believe they either
are making it up alla 'fix it in post' mentality trying to hastily explain stuff the game never bothers to do to try and appease fans or let it appear as if they thought about it at all
something went really REALLY wrong during development, which kinda seems likely given how the game turned out (im sorry i cannot let go, its not just the writing, the game design too and how little was changed in the map while being so damn expensive, i dont know how people dont feel scammed q_q)
given that they (allegedly) spent the last entire year of development on polish (where??? where????? huh??? like it would make it more understandable (EXCEPT for the price) if there was alot of trouble, which was also bc it got delayed and ... turned out like this, but they dont want to say it, especially given their reputation, with that quote i have heard way too many times 'a delayed game blah blah') i just??
are they just gonna go and do it like they did with kashiwa (kass)? "they uuuh where flying around the whole time ony cool sonau tech maschines, you just dont see or hear from them ooooorrr they were uuuuh out of the country at the time" (sending invitations to other continents to join their glorious kingdom ;) )
(bet they are also gonna say they did all the stuff like ... moving the shrines around (lol?) and lifting the islands up into the sky- which is still weird bc ... didnt they also say they were living in the sky before coming to the surface?? so where?? did they park all their islands on the surface and the mystery kids had the keys so they had to repark them back into the sky after they returned off camera?? xD also why are the islands so different as an environment if they where from the surface? like even the STONE up there is different- and if they were first in the sky then on the surface and the nback in the sky .. why is there not a single yellow tree or grass in the past- you cant really argue that it changed bc they were up there so long bc .. nothing else changed, the suddendly and totally always there sonau buildings are largely in prime condition, only some slightly moldy, and what we see of the glorious past looks barely any different from the present, aside from like ... some standard trees shuffled, no castle yet and that glowy uwu filter DESPITE that stupidly long time frame between it)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#ganondoodles rants#idk if others feel like that too but i cant shake the feeling there was something that either went horribly wrong during development-#-or the entire thing was neglected the whole time which is why its so .. i hesitate to even call it bare bones#...which is WILD given that its the supposed sequel to their best seeling zela game#like wtf where you doing#i get that the pressure can be immense but imo it wasnt that hard to make a sequel to thats better than totk#like i think it was harder to make totk like it is NOW bc it scraps and throws away so many things you could have easily used-#-as sequel material#its all so weird to me#my tin foil hat theory is still that they saw the success of the mario movie and immediately shifted everything to make more movies#bc it made so much money#and a movie is easier to make than a good game#so totk or botw2 at the time got the short end of the stick#which is why everything feels like .. so ... bare bones .. untested .. unfinished .. non sensical...#like an alpha build that got enough visual polish to look like a full game when its still an alpha build at its core#some main ideas like the abilities implemented and the basic map layers#mechanics functioning but untested on how it feels to play#like the sage controls and arrow fusing and ... contradictory game mechanics that dont work together#like the bulding WORKS but its clunky and underused- everything can be cheated so easily you dont even feel good cheating-#-bc it feels like the teacher just allowed you to mark your test with a green circle and you still got an A (or however USA grades work)#despite not even reading the questions- why attempt to solve a puzzle if you can just skip it#and how they tell you to be creative with it yet creativity gets punished and only efficiency is rewarded#which completely undermines the entire thing#...theres so much more you know i have ranted about it all before#ALSO rauru and sonia seemed like a rather newly wed couple to me- not one that had multiple kids that never appear-#since it only mentions rauru ..... if its only his then ... that doesnt explain anything bc zelda needs both sonia and rauru dna#................do sonau leave eggs to incubate somewhere heavenly or sth#watch out the springs where built to hatch rauru eggs bc they need the gods holy blessing bc they are oh so holy to hatch
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Hi everyone! So! Things are not going well for me here!
My mom's currently at the hospital with many health problems, one of them being cancer (and we don't even know wich one), basically paralyzed because of the severe pain she's in. Apparently we're not even sure she's treatable (the doctors are a bit lost, from what i understand). I really want to go see her, the problem is that she lives oversea and plane tickets aren't cheap.
So I made a ko-fi page. Not only you can donate to me there (even the littlest bit of money will be greatly appreciated!!), but I also made a commission page if you'd like to receive a drawing in exchange of your money! And if you can't spare a penny, then please consider sharing this post in exchange of my eternal gratefulness!
Thanks to everyone reading this and who are willing to help, no matter the way, shape or form!
EDIT because I see people are still reblogging this (wich i really appreciate!): I reached my goal, guys! And my tickets are bought! I'm keeping the kofi page up for now but there's no urgent need of money anymore, thanks!
#god how do i even tag this#ko fi support#ko fi commissions#ko fi donations#donations#asking for help#heavy topic#thank goodness we're not living in he US#otherwise i'd be asking for help to pay for much more than a plane ticket#i hate having to ask for money like this#maybe i wouldn't have to if finding a job wasn't so damn impossible to begin with.#trying to stay optimistic and hopeful but ngl#it doesn't really get better with time
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I’m actually shocked by seeing so many creative people getting behind the idea that an author can’t have or voice any negative opinions of their work because they sold the rights and are getting money from them.
Like, are we really subscribing to the idea that money can and should buy your right to have a honest opinion on the way your life’s work is being handled?!?! Are we really saying that? Guess money can our souls or something along those lines.
It’s insane that an author is supposed to just wash their hands, shrug and not feel anything about their life’s work being mishandled by other people.
Who even does that?!?!
#house of the dragon#hotd#GRRM#grr martin#yes I guess wanting to see your work well adapted into a great movie or TV show is a sin or something#and getting money off of it is even a greater sin#HBO owns him now and he better shut up and smile like a good little boy for it#I swear to fucking god#you guys are out of your mind
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"i cant keep doing this anymore" says guy who will continue to do this some more
#its me im the guy#im so tired . so so tired#in a really bad time with my job lately#in that nearly every day is so so trying and gives me moments of stress#and every week is just a countdown to the weekend#and like the day may not even start bad but by the end of the day im just tired and on the verge of or having a headache#it may just be that i get like this especially before my vacation where im like if i dont get my vacation im going to perish#and thats coming up in september so yay i can finally relax and have fun then#and i do that on the weekends but god they are so short. i hate working full time so much but! i have no choice but to do it#i cannot afford to work part time or not at all i dont have the time or money to go to college for a degree for a better job#im stuck here!!!!! god anyway .#its also just a lot less good at my job now theres so many more people here and i dont have as much goof off time which is essential#god anyway im too tired to rant any more#only solution is to finish my screenplay and make it big
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Holy fuck y'all i should NOT be awake 😭
#p#i need to be up in six hours 😭😭#i had an awful exhausting evening#my hamster that i had before moving passed away#the car i bought not even two years ago is totaled and unfixable#i lost one of the gigs i thought i had secured for the school year#it is pms hell week for me and i keep swinging wildly between utter fully body rage and complete overwhelming despair and anxiety#i want to cry but ive done enough crying tonight thank you!!!!#please let tomorrow be kinder i desperately need it#please let the jobs ive emailed tonight email me back#and let the pay be good#i also have sooooo much to do before next tuesday oh my god#i need to prep for our session on saturday#finish lesson planning for the summer camp#finish character creation#grocery shop#quick clean of the house bcuz lord knows i wont be doing it while at the camp#i still havent received a v important piece of mail#figure out how to pay my taxes and insurance#prep for the meeting i have monday morning re new school year including some brain storming#reviewing the pacing calendar and handbook and looking at the google drive again#and im being social this entire weekend agh#plus look for jobs i guess??? bcuz money is needed#and theres family drama 🙃#ugh i should probably not be posting this on main#perhaps i will delete later ugh#life is just hard atm it will get better it always does#and i will not lose my rental nor will i be unable to pay my taxes and bills#it will be FINE#because i will make it fine
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues#and having the most wretched mental health crisis#like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally#but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on#but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years#since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week#an ultrasound coming up#its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and#well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain#for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either#I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on#ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me#ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain#and even THAT sucks to consider#but i should stop#rambles
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i am a metronome of 'this problem is easily solvable if you talk to a certain person in your life and it'll only get worse if you leave it be, calm down and bite the bullet' and 'you've already left it a long time and asking for help even from loved ones is really really hard so actually cry in a ball'
we must destroy the grey head jelly for being the most inconsistent and rude bastard in the world
#its not even that serious its just paying for school stuff but. ough.#i have big issues about feeling 'worth it' to my family so any time i have to approach my mom and ask her to fork up money that my loans#dont cover i feel like Dog Shit. like she always finds it#and she doesnt mind it. and has stressed in the past that its fine and she isnt mad and she just wants me to tell her#but im Bad At Things so i always end up waiting and feeling like Shit#oughhhh#plus i dont wanna do it over the phone but also cant get home to do it in person without her help either#and i always feel like im ruining her day and oughhh#it is not good. 0 stars. ill probably talk to her about it tomorrow because yeah but#good GOD#so yeah im gonna work on getting employment not even for a sense of freedom but just so i dont feel gross all the time#like even if i make 1k a month living at home over the summer. thats pretty much enough to cover what my loans and scholarships dont#literally thats not even enough for taxes to be involved or whatever#anyway. the human spirit is indominable#i had a little cry over it all and im feeling better#im gonna draw some hot man legs. and get ready for dnd tomorrow#and its gonna be fine. i know it will#the plot twist is i went into psychology to help OTHERS but in reality im learning how to help ME
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why does horizon zero dawn, a game that came out 7 years ago and only got a PC port in 2020 has a remaster in 2024??? this is absurd.
#like i suppose it's for the newer console generation but like... why#and why is it a thing i can buy for my PC too for like 50 fucking euros#this is some late stage capitalism bullshit#and here i thought the life is strange remasters were outrageous#all of these games are perfectly fine as they are#remaster a game that actually would be a challenge to play on current hardware pls#i'm on my knees begging#also i'm checking the reviews and lol apparently you need an internet connection and a playstation account to play the remaster#you know... network connection to play horizon zero dawn. a singleplayer action adventure game.#who bought this. who gave them money. identify yourself.#okay new update: i checked and if you have the og game on steam already you only have to pay 10 euros#which sounds much better#i still think this is some late stage capitalist bullshit though just make a new fucking game oh my god#also can i bitch about the life is strange thing a bit?#because the before the storm remaster came out 5 fucking years after the og game#and you don't even get the deal you get with horizon if you have the original game#deck nine it's on sight#and don't think i forgot about the stories with the toxic work environment. fun!#at least dontnod's reputation is still just that they're a weird french company who don't have the LiS IP anymore. good for them!
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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currently riding that 'new hyperfixation makes me actually want to care about myself and grow as a person' high. what a time to be alive.
#been feeling more motivated lately#getting schoolwork done#listening to calmer music#more in tune with my body and gender#feelin good about my relationship#getting back into my hobbies and art (writing painting baking etc)#been feeling like moving. eating better. brushing my teeth and putting together outfits that make me feel happy.#y'know this might also just be because I'm finally not fifteen anymore#sent a couple letters and I'm still waiting on replies but that's okay#bought cute new clothes that I actually really like and are comfy#i've got money which is. woah.#been getting back into God as well which is pretty sigma#working on my driver's ed hell yeah#embracing cringe more and buying merch for things I like like sonic#eased off of reading smut and have really been enjoying reading more fluff and drama fanfics recently-- its nice to read something with plo#I've stopped using ai pretty permanently (even ai chatbots now!!)#I still use my phone pretty often but I'm trying to ease off#my post#positivity#shout-out to sonic for making me care about life <3
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I just spent like 20 minutes thinking about soup
#i need to move out!!!!#i love my parents to be clear they're great#i just want to be in charge of my own meals again#it's not that they're bad at feeding me stuff i want to eat it's just we like different things#when it's just me i can make my soup however i want and no one's gonna say anything#Because It's My Soup#i can eat japanese chicken curry for a week straight! no one cares!#i just need to get better at eating vegetables#i want my own kitchen soooo baaad.....#my mom's sensitive to garlic. do you know how much recipes fuck if you add garlic? severely. and i can't if she's gonna eat it#i need my own kitchen so bad so so bad pleeaase#really hoping that i get my degree within like two months#and then i have to. urgh. find a job. but then i find a job and i go there#and i get Paid! money!#and once i have some money in the bank and a long term job i can try and get a flat#and once i have a flat i have my own kitchen i can order stuff online if i want and i can adopt a cat#i can have friends over i can decorate#and if i can swing it i'll be a civil servant#and if i'm lucky enough i can perhaps. give up the next 30 years of my life to a bank so i can own my own flat#god i hope. i fucking hope. i really really want to own#like not for landlord bullshit. just so i don't have to worry about where to go in a year two years five years#i want a civil servant job because that's for life and i would love to do the same thing forever#and i want to own a flat because i could make the space fit my needs and wants perfectly#and i wouldn't have to worry about where to live or old age or whatever#good luck to me finding a well situated 2 bedroom flat in one of the if not the worst city of france in terms of housing :)#but hey i've been lucky in life. maybe it'll keep going#i know what i want early! that's good#i shouldn't have a realisation that i want kids at 30yo or whatever. I Shall Not Become My Mom#ANYWAY i need my own kitchen!!!!!#wow i have a ramble tag now
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"spar.kle is fictional who cares" I have seen people praising her for her racist anti-romani comments what the fuck kind of world do you live in
#➳ the fool speaks#fuuuck man i don't think fiction and reality will influence each other 1=1 but characters being weirdos or bigots and it not being#criticized for it makes those kinds of people who Very Much Already Exist IRL think they're in the fucking right. they aren't.#i don't think someone getting spar.kle in hsr is going to turn them into a fucking racist but her being Like That and looking cute#and being playable and not getting called the fuck out in game makes people who ARE racists have a cutesy girl to idolize and support and#use as a way to say shit without getting in trouble because ''ermmm I'm not the one who wrote her!! i just think she's really funny!! she's#not real anyways why are you mad!!''#like my god shut UP#again like. pulling for her or thinking she's cute doesn't mean you want all roma dead. that. that isn't how that works#but if you think of hoyo's writing of her is good and funny and not problematic at all I'd LOVE to know what you think about#how real life roma r treated to this day. like genuinely let's have a little chat. I'm sure you have normal not-racist opinions#and do not use the g slur and do not defend it and tootally don't view roma just as all the bad stereotypes right !!!!#*ok actually pulling for her kinda. shows support to hoyo for whatever weird ass decision someone on their team made#to go ''ah yes let's add racism but make it a cute girl and make it 'funny' this'll get us so much money''#and if you spent on her banner. look idk what to say. shame? yeah shame. hoyo in general is not a company that deserves your money there#are better things to spend your cash on. like literally look at how they treated sum.eru and they made the guy inspired by roma WHITE ???#generally. not something I would advise spending on. but like ok especially on the racist character y'know#anyways.
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today sucked the life out of me ya Allah
#nothing particularly happened#well actually multiple things happened but none of them are that big of a deal im just tired#yesterday the ppt file for my presentation corrupted as i was finishing it :') didn't have autosave on :'))#had to redo the entire thing from scratch. i was working on it all week too for god's sake#finished by like 4am today and i had to be up by 8 for uni so i barely slept#the presentation was fine i think given i had to do everything again last minute but ik the original version was better#my blood pressure was through the roof the entire day for some reason. felt my pulse in my head for the whole day#fitting because our pbl case this week was about hypertension😭#called my dad to make sure he went to get his meds renewed...#i'm really worried about him he refused to go to the doctor again aslan but i sat him down and we had a long talk about it#alhamdulillah he agreed to go. only for them not to have his diabetes meds in stock💀 bas ya3ni it's good that he went anyway#my mom is a different story she's so stubborn i swear#had an argument with her today about letting me work again to lift a bit of the workload off her since money is still so tight#and she got pissed at me#so now im tired unrested have a migraine and my mom is mad at me what a day bgad#ya Allah
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