#god i am so curious as to what the narrator would be saying

[statesidesnake]

yo i forgot to post this real time- but

what do you MEAN oh you bitch!

[fallstaticexit]

Prev / Next / Beginning / Pillowfort

AN: Source for tarot reading

Transcript under the cut

Morgan: Ever done this before?

Nancy: Can’t say that I have.

Morgan: Are you as put off about this as that other bible thumper?

Nancy: [rolls eyes] We’re not all the same. I’m more than my faith.

Morgan: I don’t doubt that. I’m sure there’s many layers to you. Where are you from?

Nancy: Brindleton Bay.

Morgan: Really, I’m from Portridge, a small town south of the Bay. Originally.

Nancy: Yeah? So, how did you end up a Fyres?

Morgan: Great question. My mom was his secretary. Super scandalous shit, which would explain while the Royal Barbie hates my guts. He’s not a bad step dad though. Hell of lot better than my actual dad. So, your parents-

Nancy: Isn’t the probing developing a bias or something?

Morgan: Just a little small talk. So, is there a question you want answered? Perhaps, a question about your past, your present or your future?

Nancy: I-

Nancy Narrates: [I want to get forget my past. I want to survive my present. I want to escape my future. Could there really be an answer for all that in those cards]

Nancy: I don’t know...

Morgan: That’s ok. You intention will guide us.

Morgan: Pick three cards that call to you. Based on the three, we will see what the cards have to say about your past, present and future.

Nancy: And you believe in this?

Morgan: We believe what we believe in, right? You have your three?

Nancy: I think so..

Morgan: Let’s take a look.

Morgan: Your past—the Upright Fool. Innocence. Curorsity. Something new and exciting—perhaps a first love in your youth that swept you off your feet?

Nancy Narrates: [Already I hated this...]

Morgan: Your present- the Reversed Star. Insecurity. Self doubt. A loss of faith. Interesting. Perhaps a struggle with one’s own faith? Are you having any doubts, Nancy? About yourself? About your God?

Morgan: Your future- the Upright Devil. Lust. Obsession. Temptation. Could be for the material things of life, or maybe a desire of the flesh.

Nancy: [clears throat] That all seems incredibly vague.

Morgan: [grins] Does it? Your poker face could use some work. Let me ask you something. Who exactly did I remind you of? Someone from your past?

Morgan: Your silence is very telling. I have a real gift for reading people.

Nancy: I’m sure you believe you do.

Morgan: [laughs] I really do!

Morgan: Tightly wound, fidgeter. You bite the hell out of your nails, right at the skin on the tips of your fingers, unconsciously. You pick at it until it bleeds. It’s the only thing that’s keeping you tethered to your own body. The pain, that is.

Morgan: Right?

Geoffrey: You made it! And making friends! Sorry, am I interrupting girl talk?

Morgan: It’s cool, boy wonder. Want me to do your reading?

Geoffrey: Are you kidding? Of course I do!

Nancy: Actually, I think I want to g-

Geoffrey: Really quick, Nance, then I’ll walk you to your dorm!

Geoffrey: Upright Death for my future sounds kind of scary when you think about it, huh? She said it could mean profound change. Sounds promising.

Nancy: [tsks] That could mean literally anything. That whole practice strives on vagueness. You can never be wrong if you’re bound to be right.

Geoffrey: Yeah, but it’s about how you perceive it, right? It’s unique. She did yours, didn’t she? What did yours say?

Nancy: Yeah, I um, don’t remember.

Geoffrey: Maybe you can ask her again. You two seem to hit it off.

Nancy: [huffs] Please. I am not going back to that shabby bar. She’s a sham. Those cards mean nothing. It’s stupid.

Geoffrey: [sighs]

Nancy: What?

Geoffrey: [blows raspberries]

Nancy Narrates: [Truth was, I was more curious than anything]

Nancy: So. Those cards. Could they...I don’t know- tell me something that could happen in a week? Like if I asked if I’ll pass my Statistics exam?

Nancy Narrates: [I was completely captivated by this otherworldly experience, whether I’d admit it outloud or not]

Nancy Narrates: [and Morgan was always happy to indulge me]

Nancy: [whispers] So I past my exam. How does this even work? I mean, how could they know? The cards. Could you do another reading after the debate?

Nancy Narrates: [But of all the questions I did ask, there was one that burned inside me more]

[heavy metal spills into the hallway]

Morgan: [startled] Nancy?

Nancy: Is this a bad time? I know it’s late...I can come back another time. I just have so much on my mind and I can’t sleep.

Morgan: You want another reading?

Nancy: Is that ok?

Morgan: Of course it is, Nancy. Come in.

Morgan: Sorry for all the smoke. I can open a window.

Knox: Babe, who’s this? It’s not my birthday.

Morgan: [smirks] Want me to get rid of him? I can.

Knox: Hey! I’ll be quiet! Won’t even know I’m here.

Nancy: I don’t mind. I just had a question.

Nancy: Could you do a reading for someone else, even if they’re not here?

Morgan: [hums] Not really...not without their permission or their intention. Who is this person to you?

Nancy: [looks away] Someone from my past. Someone I need to forget but- I can’t.

Morgan: Did this person hurt you?

Nancy: [shakes head] If anything, I hurt them. I ruined them with my... [lowly] um, perversions. I just need to know if they’re ok. If they hate me for it.

Morgan: [softly] I see... Here’s what we’ll do. Just like before, I’ll do a three card spread.

Morgan: Set your intention. Clear your mind. Ask your question. The first card is ‘you’. The middle card is ‘them’. The third card is the relationship.

Nancy Narrates: [‘Vanessa, do you hate me?’ ‘Do you blame me?’ ‘Do you regret loving me?’ ‘Do you know that I never stopped loving you?’]

Nancy Narrates: [‘Do you know that I’m sorry?’ ‘Do you know that I miss you?’ ‘Do you know that I need you?’]

Morgan: [exhales] It says... that you are a filled with love, Nancy, even though the world around you wants to drain you of it. There’s just too much of it inside of you and your friend-

Nancy: [weakly] Vanessa.

Morgan: [smiles] Vanessa. She loves you all the same. She may be experiencing her own hurt in this world, but having loved you keeps her strong. You two brought something bright and beautiful into each other’s lives.

Morgan: You can’t rid her from your life, because she’s apart of you, and...I- I think that’s a love worth fighting for, Nancy.

Nancy: [between gulps] Right. Right, thank you. Thanks, Morgan.

Morgan: Wait, Nancy, you don’t have to leave. It’s ok-

Nancy: It’s fine. I uh- I should go.

[door clicks shut]

Knox: Uhh, did you just make all that up?

Morgan: [weakly] I don’t know why I did that..

[ashfae]

Things I would like to happen/not happen in Good Omens Season 3

Small things in no particular order, just to put this out here, in a few years I'll come back and laugh: - More about the Fall - Never ever finding out what Crowley's angel name was. I genuinely don't want to know and especially don't want it to have been important. - Eric getting to be badass for once. - Muriel getting to be badass for once. - Eric and Muriel coming to a similar Aziraphale and Crowley "....look does anyone know what's going on? I don't think so. We are very small in comparison to these huge things how about we work together a bit trying to figure it out?" type of thing. - Finding out WTF is up with Crowley's spotty memory. Has he been made to forget things? I am curious. - The crux point of the season being Aziraphale needing finally once and for all to choose between Crowley and Heaven/recognizing that goodness is not something that can be mandated/all that jazz - More of Aziraphale's diaries - A hug. I'd like another kiss, I don't want smut (happy to keep that for fanfic and let them be platonic onscreen), I do absolutely want them to have a big "oh god I missed you so much" hug. - Crowley having left London. I strongly suspect he's gone abroad, feels like that was foreshadowed in the magician's wheel scene. I favour Sin City/Las Vegas for hilarity but the Spanish Riviera for the alcohol. - Much as I'd like to see all the human characters again (from s1 and s2) I doubt anyone except Muriel by proximity will have been in contact with any of them and I feel their part in the overall narrative arc is complete. We'll get new ones though. - Jesus Christ to show up for the Second Coming and promptly not do what anyone expects or wants him to do, and I sincerely hope I can't predict it either. Also man would I love it if he's called by Yeshua/Yeshoshua. - For Christ's actions and choices to be ultimately less important than Aziraphale's. Yes, I really want Aziraphale and his love for Crowley to be the primary mover of this season. - Crowley to say "Ngk". "Heigh ho" would give me the greatest joy but "Ngk" would be sufficient. - For God to NOT just show up and sort it all out and preferably to not appear at all though Francis McDormand narrating will always be a joy to me. - A return of Gabriel and Beelzebub. Actually this seems inevitable given everyone's entirely justified love of Jon Hamm. I have my own pet theories of what the plot of season three will be but I'll keep that to fanfic out of respect for Wait And See. Edit: I forgot to add, FOR THE LOVE OF SOMEONE DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT THIS OR LINK HIM. I don't want him to answer questions! Me wildly speculating is NOT the same as wanting answers, and besides, he wouldn't answer anyway, and rightly so!

[flover4ever]

first date⋆.˚ ౨ৎ ˚ ˖࣪

a/n: i think abt matt and karen's date in that restaurant all the time. such a perfect scene! i wanted to capture that energy. i've always wanted to write a matt x librarian! oc fic. but times are tough and i can never commit to things lol. here's a snippet of what could have been. also, i am not from new hampshire. but oh my god, how pretty!!!!! im jealous.

warning: matt murdock x librarian! reader

matt didn't think his night could go any better. in front of him, he's got the most beautiful girl of his dreams. she told him that he is wearing a white cardigan and light blue dress, the fabric reaches the ground. she told him that the kids from the library tell her it reminds them of when the sky is clear of clouds, only sunny and blue.

matt takes a sip of his wine. "you got family in new york?"

"no," she shakes her head, taking a sip of her water (when he first asked her out, he wanted to take her to drinks. but marianne has sworn off drinking for life). "moved here three years ago."

matt's eyebrows raised. matt realized just how little he knew about her, despite how marianne was the common thread in nelson & murdock. "where are you from?"

"new hampshire." said y/n, a small smile peaking through her, like the first ray of sunshine. "it's beautiful there, so much color and life."

"god, it's hard to describe it," she said. matt loved how she described things, down to its smallest details. she talks in such a cadence akin to deep flowing rivers to morning birds. she can make her grocery list sound like a love poem. "it's hard to capture that beauty... sense of awe at the life around you, you know?"

matt smiled, so hard his cheeks started to hurt. he was sure he'd grow smile lines by the time he's forty if he keeps this up. maybe it was worth it. for y/n. "yeah," he muttered, almost lost in a trance.

"why'd you come to new york, then?" he's genuinely curious, his head titled to the side. "i mean, you make new hampshire seem like another planet next to new york."

she laughs, a giddy and joyous thing. "new hampshire's home. but new york, it never leaves you know? even with the grim and grit, there's something or someone that just makes you want to stay. when I interned here in hell's kitchen, the only thing that kept me moving was the kids. story times, their little faces, their constant questions. all of it. it gave me purpose."

matt hears her heart race, the kind that spoke to one's sense of passion. it was almost melodic, the rapid yet enchanting rhythm of muscle.

"nobody truly understands that they're the future," she said. "our future. i want to give something to them, something irreplaceable."

"like reading?"

"yeah," she sighs, like talking about the children of hell's kitchen filled her with such fervor, she couldn't contain it. "exactly."

"but working with the best lawyers in new york is a definitely a bonus," she adds, holding up her glass of water, the ice swirling against the glass.

y/n narrates what she's about to do, matt chuckles as he does the same, their glasses clinking.

"what about you?" she rested her head on her hand, her heartbeat starting to race as she met his eyes. though their gaze would never be able to meet, his dark gaze became her favorite shade of brown. it wasn't like hers, like earth's dirt in new hampshire's wilderness-- it was gold, shining like embers.

"me?" matt raised his eyebrows.

"yeah," she says, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, her vegan samosas long gone by now. "what made you want to be an attorney?"

"it was my father really," said matt. "he was a boxer. . . caught up with the wrong people. and when i was nine, he died. i tried giving him justice, but no luck. i guess i just don't want any nine year old matt's to feel the same way i did."

"like what?"

"helpless."

her gaze softened. "you're a good man, matt."

"i think you are good, too, marianne," says matt. "better than me."

and he meant it. for years when darning the suit of daredevil, he feels as if there is a twisted part of him taking over his soul. every punch felt one step closer to that. being matt murdock, keeps him grounded-- but that wouldn't be possible without foggy, or karen, or y/n.

she seems like she doesn't have to try. she is effortlessly good and pure. and maybe there is a twisted side to her that she hasn't shown to him. but he's hanging out the hope that this is who she truly is. a person who is kind and good at her core, even if she had to eat through the rotten parts of herself. maybe that's what makes her truly good.

[nutzworth]

was on twitter (oops) and theres a ton of people going apeshit over kanaya in the upd8 (hs:bc upd8) right obviously and i saw one (1) post about "still hating hs2. jade would not fucking do this" and like. huff.

fosmf if youre there and youve read the hsbc update tell me your thoughts on this. im so curious

in MY opinion, i really like jade in postcanon in general. OBVIOUSLY, the stuff with davekat SUCKS + IS WEIRD + outb of character (i doubt jade would cross boundaries in such a weird way? like a girl can take a hint esp for the people she loves.) but in the update it goes over jade and why she did what she did and like a cute little summary of the yiffy situation. i never really hated yiffy? and i hate yiffy even less with the update. narration + backstory with reasoning did its job.

SUMMARY, AS I SEE IT: jade was dating around mortals but came to the conclusion that they dont want HER, they want to say they dated the GOD OF SPACE. they wanted clout and she hated it. and i dont know. i think she went a little crazy cus of it. she was like I am truly alone in this world. Im cursed to be alone. Im doomed because of my aspect. How can i fix this. solution: HAVE A BABY. and it needs to be one of her god friends. she cant have a baby with a random mortal. john and dave are boys; they cant bear children. she cant have a baby with roxy or jane because she doesnt know them well. that leaves: rose lalonde so jade has a baby with rose lalonde and keeps it a secret. she talks to jane, and this is fine because its largely professional, and she makes sure yiffany (the baby) doesnt become a celebrity. yiffy is normal. yiffy is a normal kid and she has a normal life. jade needs her to have a normal life. jade needs to feel that connection with normality that she never had, jade needs to make sure yiffy doesnt go through the same damn thing she did. and she keeps it a secret. she bonded with rose. if kanaya finds out, thatll tear all three of them apart. jade craves the company. jade craves friendship and closeness. but of course, shes a space player and shes doomed. so they find out. and yiffy gets on the news. and everything is torn

ANYWAY: i think thats so cool. i think thats a great explanation. i think jade WOULD do that is the thing. its a logical train of thought and she makes some stupid mistakes and bad decisions but overall its rational. if i was in her situation i would probably do the same thing. yiffany longstocking is like jade harleys' my love mine all mine by mitski you get me. jade harley yearns for the closeness and having a baby can fill that. what other option did she have? she was crazy

interested to hear other peoples thoughts on this. i may just be biased because i love jade harley

[grifff17]

Audio Drama Sunday 8/18/2024

There was so much new stuff this week. Midnight Burger, Worlds Beyond Number, World Gone Wrong, and Wanderer's Journal all release an episode every other Tuesday, and this Tuesday was that day. Then on Wednesday 3 actual play released new episodes. I didn't actually get through everything new this week, the rest will come next week.

NEW SHOW ALERT Starwhal: Odyssey, a spelljammer-inspired actual play from the cast of Skyjacks Couriers Call, is no longer Patreon exclusive! I really liked the first 2 episodes of this show, I love the way these people do collaborative storytelling. The little things like the rent collections robot and the streaming rat were so good. At the end of the episode, the mental vision of Saach teleporting into the gamer chair was so vivid. Also, I've never heard more revulsion in a credits sequence than them crediting Wizards of the Coast for the Spelljammer setting. I'm curious about the system they're going to move to for the later episodes.

In @midnightburgr I love the new set of characters, I bet the next spinoff series going to be the Paradise. However, they can’t keep ending episodes like this. I’ve never been happier to hear the sound of the diner jumping, but Ava and the Mucklewains are gone. At least this time Ava isn't totally alone in a jerry rigged space suit. And David is joining the main cast, at least for the rest of the season!

So much happens in every @worldsbeyondpod episode, and this one had even more than most. The audio design for the opening scene goes so hard, Taylor does such an incredible job. When listening to other APs, I can't help but compare them to WBN. The King of Night loredrop was insane, Orima is apparently sworn to him? I like how the core conflict - Witches and Spirits vs Wizards - is designed to create tension and strife between the PCs. I love the intrigue of this arc so much, but Ame lying to the coven was such a massive misstep. I still think my favorite part of the show might be whenever Suvi uses identify on something plot relevant. The smell of soap from Ursulon was so mean by Brennan, callbacks to the Children's Adventure like that always break me.

I didn’t realize the new season of @storiesfromylelmore was starting already, when I saw it pop up in my feed I went to bed early to go listen to it. Despite what Keryth says, her moms are super cool. Can't wait to learn more about them. Keryth’s parents giving her a magic item to make her quiet reminds me of a lot of my childhood. What my mom wouldn't have given for a silence bubble spell. There was so much worldbuilding in this episode, the quote “I don’t know what they do with them, but I think it’s better if they don’t have pieces of you” was terrifying. The final scene of the episode created such a vivid mental image, I could see the three of them in the backseat.

I also listened to ItMe's other show besides Ylelmore and InCo, Of Gods and Lanterns. It was short but sweet, with a total runtime of less than 30 minutes runtime. I really like the world, I would listen to 100 more episodes of this show.

I listened to parts 3 and 4 of the Spout Lore Critshow crossover. The Spout Lore cast on earth is so funny. The two shows really mesh so well together, this has to be the most "natural" crossover I've ever listened to.

The new season of Second Fiddles also started this week and woah the ending. I'm guessing that everyone forgot about Tammie, but Linus’s mom was unaffected because she was in the book. IIRC we've only met one character who can erase people memories, and she could only do it to one person at a time, not everyone, so I suspect 4th Wall/Macguffin shenanigans.

I also started The Cryptonaturalist this week. The tone of this show is so unique. I love the narrator. I also very quickly found that this is a perfect podcast to fall asleep to.

This post ended up really long this week. No judgement if people don't want to read the whole thing. Next week will be a lot shorter I think.

[hms-no-fun]

I hope this ask doesn't come off as rude at all-- and I apologize if it does!-- but as an aspiring writer, I'm honestly really confused by some of the early choices in Godfeels, and I'm curious if I'm just not "getting it". I saw some posts about it pop up in the tag (and they WERE very shitty and rude about it :/), but I'd love to hear your explanation/take on June's big character change immediately post-realization, and especially the... "Trickster Arc", I guess it could be called? The former I get to some extent, but I'm really curious about the choice to do all THAT so early in the story with the trickster candy.

Seriously love your work, your narration is honestly a big inspiration to me in terms of how meta it gets and how close it gets to communicating directly with both the main character AND the audience!

no rudeness detected at all! this is a great question, in fact it’s one i’ve been kinda hoping someone would ask because i’ve been thinking about this stuff a lot these last few months. but i get the sense that you’re at least a little new here, so uh, yeah, hello, when people ask me interesting questions i tend to answer at great length. so strap in for that after the break lmao. also as a note, there will be some spoilers for all of godfeels here but please don’t let that scare you away, they’re all contextless and, if anything, might honestly make the rest of the story *more* enjoyable as a result.

as far as "getting it" goes, i've talked at length about the how & why of the violence in godfeels in multiple places so i'll try to avoid rehashing that too much here. but one thing i want to emphasize right off the bat is that i never intended godfeels to be an ongoing thing. you talk about the trickster arc happening “so early in the story” but when i wrote godfeels 1 i didn’t plan on writing more. i didn’t even plan on making john trans! my idea of what the sum total of godfeels 2 would be when i started writing it wound up being completely different from the finished work. i didn’t plan to make this thing so long. i didn’t plan for june to accidentally on purpose kill her friends while drunk and then retcon it. i didn’t plan on turning the whole thing into a space opera. it all just happened to me, man. i kept writing because i kept finding more interesting things to say. and it’s important to specify that when i started gf1 i hadn’t written fiction in years. i think if you jumped ahead to godfeels 3 part 1 chapter 8, no matter how you feel about the content we’d at least be able to agree that in the years since 2019 i’ve become a much much better writer. if you want more insight into how my process has evolved, i’ve written so so so much about it, too much maybe even, in the #sarahposts tag.

anyway, now i want to talk about june's "big character change." the extent to which her trickster arc makes sense or feels in character seems to vary wildly from person to person. what always bugs me about "ooc" as a criticism is that godfeels starts six years and change after the end of homestuck. let's remember that the protagonists of homestuck were sixteen when the comic ended. now i want you to ask yourself if you as you were at 16 would think that you as you are now was "in character." or vice versa! probably not, right? it doesn’t even have to have been six years. i was STILL sixteen when i started to get embarrassed of who i was at sixteen!

that should be all i need to say, but it isn’t. and it doesn't really get to the core of the issue anyway. i am not nor have i ever been interested in writing "a sequel to homestuck,” even though it has kind of just become that anyway. godfeels has always been about the meaty existential drama you can tease out through the complicated character dynamics of these fucked up traumatized gods. godfeels has always been my way of analyzing the themes and ideas of homestuck, the existential ramifications of the mechanics of SBURB and the classpects and retcon (let’s remember that i wrote godfeels around the same time that i took over hosting duties on the perfectly generic podcast). godfeels has also always been about me and my trauma. i even used to joke that june was my self-insert character, though i've seen that line repeated unironically by enough people who haven't read godfeels that i've stopped saying it. because it's not true! june is very, very different from me... i just happen to see my life reflected in her eyes.

to immediately rehash what i said i wouldn't, june eg8ert arose out of my frustration with most versions of the june egbert headcanon particularly in the summer of 2019. let's call her "hairclips june." hairclips june is always smiling, usually with smiling friends, she's wearing hairclips and has nonzero tit and is A Woman Now. as i said in my video, while i don't begrudge anyone their comfort food, this simply was not my experience with coming out as a trans woman. and of all the characters, i’d always identified most with john. also i thought, you know, these kids are SERIOUSLY messed up, every single one of them has died multiple times, they've seen things and done things no one should ever have to. and retcon! god, what a mindfuck retcon is.

those are the primal ingredients of godfeels. what if june came out and everyone wasn't chill about it? some folks say that's out of character and, idk, i guess that's arguably true. but i had friends who were very vocal trans allies who’d been in queer relationships who still stopped talking to me after i came out. let me tell you i spent a lot of time fucked up in the head over how "out of character" that was for them, to the extent that i blamed myself for their reaction because surely they couldn't be so out of character. to which one might respond, well, why do this as a homestuck fic then? why not just do my own original thing instead?

and i guess the answer is that i didn't want to and i still don't, really. it's not just about the characters for me. i like the rules of the homestuck universe. i find it interesting how it mechanically reflects being a fictional narrative. and, you know, maybe it's easier for me to process violent intrusive thoughts through a character who is capable of acting on those thoughts and then immediately undoing them consequence-free. retcon is, in fact, sort of the perfect mechanism for exploring violent intrusive thoughts because it lets us play out the fantasy without lasting diegetic harm, such that we can just focus on the existential and moral questions of the phenomenon itself. and like, yeah, that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. but isn’t it still just as valid a topic to explore in fiction as anything else?

like em or not, people have intrusive thoughts. people have violent impulses. sometimes they even act on them. the unpleasantness of a phenomenon shouldn’t dictate whether it is acceptable to depict in fiction-- if anything, we ought to take our instinctive desire to look away as an urgent invitation to look closer instead. as i’ve been wont to say for years and years now, “problematic” implies a problem to be solved. that which is human is inherently complicated. to pretend it’s all good or bad excises humanity from the equation, or at least flattens the range of acceptable humanity. all of which is my extremely soapboxy way of saying (as i’ve said a million times by now), yes, godfeels june is problematic. that is in fact what godfeels is about.

there's an extent to which i think this can be blamed on how rooted we are IN june's perspective in gf1 and 2. i don't think people really appreciate the fact that godfeels 1 is john threatening to commit suicide and almost going through with it. that's the context in which her friends react poorly to her coming out; i mean, she's literally sleeping on rose's couch because everyone's so worried about her! i think that, by being completely within june's perspective for all of these events, we don't really get a good sense of the interpersonal dynamics at play (probably because i didn't even really understand them myself until later). instead we just see people who should know better acting like dicks.

i think whether or not june’s trickster arc is canonically palatable to you depends very much on whether or not you've had a dear friend disappoint you so much that you're no longer on speaking terms.

but if we want to reel this back from the abstract philosophical, maybe it’s enough to say that we just have different interpretations of these characters? they’re not monoliths, you know. different people see different things in different characters. some folks get a lot out of hairclips june and that’s okay. maybe i was a bitch about other people’s headcanons back in 2019 when redditors were calling me and my friends abusive pedophiles for liking vriska, but i gave up that fight when the redditors got what they wanted (to harass a group of queer creators offline and out of their jobs). if someone wants to woobify gamzee, whatever man, go right ahead. that ain’t my cup of tea and i personally don’t think that’s very in character either, but that’s why i don’t read it. it ain’t for me and that’s fine. i like homestuck BECAUSE these characters can mean so many things to so many people. is this variability not precisely the thing that makes the postcanon era so interesting?

i have my idea of who these characters are based on who they were in the comic and i work very hard to keep them in character, but i also don't want them to be trapped in amber. i want them to grow and change and become different people, because homestuck itself is obsessed with inescapable absolute archetypes (ie the ultimate self, or the captchalogue system) and i enjoy troubling that. i enjoy swimming in a sea of weird problematic dilemmas. that’s what’s fun about fiction for me, you can think about and write about all the most difficult and even fucked up things you like, and it definitionally cannot cause real material nonconsensual harm to another human being. and yet we get so tied up in the question of harm anyway! maybe that makes sense when talking about marvel movies, but this is fanfiction we’re talking about. this is HOMESTUCK fanfiction. if i were to go on twitter right now and post “homestuck is good” i’d end the day with at least five comments saying “lol no it’s not.” SOME OF THOSE PEOPLE WILL HAVE HOMESTUCK AVATARS. there are few things as cringe as liking homestuck even among people who like homestuck, so who cares? i like homestuck, i like the epilogues, i like hs2, and i think a pretty gargantuan majority of this fandom are subliterate babies. that’s why i don’t engage with them or make much of an attempt to bridge the gap. i think godfeels and its cool little fandom is all the better for how much work it requires of the reader to “get it” as it were. i wish more people would give it a chance, or at the very least not immediately throw me and a lot of my friends under the bus at every possible opportunity, but what can you do? i just write. people will react how they will react. what matters to me is that it stays true to itself as a work, and that it grows with me and my audience and my collaborators. trying to backpedal or soften the edges would just ruin the whole thing, likely alienate my current readers and inevitably invite even more bad faith readings. no thanks!

some folks stop reading godfeels after june's trickster arc, and i can respect that. if you get to that part of the story and don't like it, chances are you're not gonna like the rest of it! and in that sense, i guess you could say i “chose” to have june’s trickster arc happen so “early on” as a litmus test for the reader. as annoying as it can be feeling like i’m constantly having to address this exact issue, i vastly prefer it to a bunch of people hate-reading something that wasn’t made for them. but again, i didn’t know this was “early on” when i wrote it, because i didn’t plan it to happen. i didn’t intend for june to go on a killing spree, she just did it and i as writer decided, you know what? this is way more interesting than what i had planned. and then dirk became the antagonist because, oops, june coming out fucked up all the schemes he has that play out in the homestuck epilogues. and i guess in THAT sense, the palatability of godfeels depends on whether or not you liked and/or tolerated the homestuck epilogues and homestuck^2. these, too, are not for everyone. but godfeels is not a replacement for them, as some folks like to claim (god bless them). i’m not interested in rewriting homestuck or fixing its sequels. ok well that’s not entirely true, i think the epilogues did jake REAL dirty and that’s become a big focus of mine going forward. but even then, i don’t pretend the epilogues didn’t happen. in fact if you’ve read all of 3.1, you know just how cosmically important they end up being.

but this is, i guess, kind of the crux of the issue for me. june’s trickster arc happens very early on in the story, yes, and that’s deliberately challenging on a lot of levels. june spends a great deal of time being challenged by it herself! but folks who stop there (if they even make it that far) often act like the whole story is grimdark wish-fulfillment violence or me airing out my irrational hatred of Boys (????), and that's just not true. i don’t give a shit about that. we get to june's trickster arc at around the 25,000 word mark, out of the current grand total of over 400,000 words. her violence is functionally the prologue, and she spends the entire rest of this story suffering the consequences of those actions. so if i am frustrated with this line of questioning, a lot of it comes down to the fact that if you just read the rest of the story you’d see that i have in fact had all of the same thoughts you’ve likely had. i know people who think i did dirk dirty in gf2, and i actually kind of agree! which is why dirk comes back and has a difficult, complicated relationship with his past self. people complain about certain characters being ooc, which i can certainly understand because when i started godfeels i really did not have a great grasp on them! but also, if you kept reading godfeels you’d know that the tension of whether or not someone is cosmically “in character” is a huge running theme of this story. june’s friends react poorly to her coming out in part because it seems out of character for her! hell, phenomenologically how *could* june be in character after coming out when she barely even knows who she is yet? her whole thing in gf1 is that she doesn’t know who she is anymore! just realizing that you’re trans changes you, changes how you see the world, how you relate to other people. or it did for me, anyway. risk, dare, X, angel dirk, and silverbark are all sorts of caught up in this question. and if you’ve gotten to the end of 3.1 you’ll know about the concept of denexustic radiation:

and that’s just the tip of the metaphysical iceberg. all of which is to say that this is a feature, not a bug. so it’s always very funny to me when people drop out so early on only to complain about the very same problematics that i’ve spent three years and 400,000 words exploring.

BUT. but. yeah godfeels 1 and 2 are messy. the gf3 prologue is very messy. it’s a serial narrative that has changed shape multiple times over the years, and barring a bit of polish on gf1 around when i started writing gf3 i generally refuse to go back and rewrite things. there’s a lot i would do differently today, but if i had done it differently then the story as it is today would not exist. and i love this story! i might look back on gf2 and feel like it’s rushed and messy, but i know that it was the best i could do at the time. it’s a reflection of who i was as a writer then. i live with the ramifications of that for the same reason i don’t delete the old videos on my channel from before i came out/learned what communism was: because i don’t like to pretend that the present was always present. i’m a different person now, a different writer. i made mistakes, i learned, and i changed. i will continue this process for the rest of my natural life, as will you.

ultimately i guess my answer here is that godfeels is a flawed work written by a flawed person, and the extent to which readers relate to it seems to have a lot to do with how much their flaws overlap with mine. i get lots of people telling me my characters are in character. i get people telling me they’re more in character than some canon! and it’s not that i weigh those comments as more valuable, i just see it as an indication of who my audience is. i’m not writing for people who want more hiveswap, and i’m certainly not writing for people who dismissed hs^2 out of hand. i’m just writing for myself and my friends, and it just so happens that some people seem to get a lot out of it.

i’m gonna close out here by actually finally directly addressing your question with what i think you were ultimately hoping for: some writing advice.

the rules don’t exist. there are things that can make some art better or some art worse but they are not universal. the rules are fake and if you hold every story you touch to those rules, you’re gonna have a bad time. a story is not static and it is never truly yours. you discover it. sometimes you can expand it or alter it in ways but, at least in my experience, doing so more often than not just kills the whole thing-- or at least demands a complete reconceptualization. all of which takes time, and we live in a world where taking time to get in touch with and hone your craft is considered sort of a bad economic decision. but art is what it is and it does what it does and we can either play with it or we can put it in a cage.

what i like about making art is that i am not entirely in control. i have my plans, my schemes, my ideas, but the fun of writing is just putting a bunch of characters in a room together and seeing what they do. quite often they do things i would never expect, that are far truer to their character than i anticipated. my experience has always been that the more you outline a story before you write it, the harder it is to actually write that story. when i know everything that’s gonna happen on a moment to moment level, the whole thing falls dead on the page. but obviously you need to know SOME things! and i’ll say that from the inception of gf3 back in december 2019 to now, very very few of the broad strokes of my plans have changed. if you’ve read all of 3.1 you know there’s a very specific timeline at play in the backstory of a group of characters we’ll be spending a lot of time with in 3.2. there are no questions or mysteries or whatever else i’ve introduced to this story that i did not have at least the sense of an explanation for. but these are simply bullet points that dictate the endpoint of a path and suggest something of the moral/philosophical/emotional arc that needs to occur in order to get there. the real meat of it comes out in the act of writing itself, and that’s what i’m here for. it’s a gamble that doesn’t always pay off, and it does mean that i have almost 80,000 words of material i ended up rewriting or cutting sitting in a doc somewhere, but that’s worth it for me.

if art is to be relevant, it must have the capacity to make an audience uncomfortable. if art is to be essential, it must have the capacity to demand a strong reaction (positive or negative) from everyone who sees it. if art is to be true, it must have the capacity to reflect the disquiet contradictions of simple existence that we desperately wish to ignore in our daily lives. that doesn’t mean everyone has to or should read difficult art, or like it, or make it. but it has always existed and it will always exist, and i think it is essential for writers and critics alike to learn to stop themselves from mistaking a common storytelling method for THE storytelling method. and frankly, most of the art i love most in this world is art that i didn’t particularly like the first time we crossed paths.

and lastly, never forget the inarguable truth that the audience bears quite a lot of responsibility in this equation. you are never, as a writer, inflicting anything on your reader, because your reader can always opt out at any moment they wish. if something doesn’t work, yeah, that’s a problem you can fix. art is a conversation in that way, or at least ought to be. but at the same time, art has no obligation to be perfect, or smooth, or easy to consume. the rules are fake. they exist to be broken. the pursuit of perfection is a dead end. just make shit

okay this one has gone on QUITE long enough lmao i hope there’s something useful in there for you somewhere and uhhhh i hope you enjoy the rest of godfeels if you haven’t already read it!

[ahollowgrave]

There was a post asking RPers with moon-worshipping characters how they handle the moon's revelation, especially with Endwalker. But! I am too shy to reblog that with my actual answers so instead I will post this two page rambling under a cut. (:

Okay, so I look at it through two lenses: 1) How much does your average citizen know about the big wide star and everything our beloved Warrior of Light gets up to in saving it all the time?

There are things in the real world I don’t know and things I am shocked to find out other people don’t know!

The history of the Star is vast and dense and no one can possibly know every crumb of it. 

2) Faith requires a sort of peace in knowing you don’t and won’t know certain things. If you have all the answers to all your questions, you don’t need faith.

The asking of questions is vital, here. If you are not curious about the world around you how can you possibly come to love it and those it shelters? If you believe for a second that you have all the answers to all the questions then your curiosity dies. 

That said with Odette and her convent it really boils down to:  They don’t know!

Odette is young, she may not have been alive during Dalamud’s fall and Bahamut’s defeat. I’m not really sure because time bubbles and I’m very vague with her age because time is my mortal enemy. When the moon started its fall the convent probably took it to mean: gods mad. Who wouldn’t? Even the faithless might pray under such a thing, no?  But the convent is secluded and news is slow to reach them and what does reach them is often embellished or outdated or just untrue. They must pick through the stories they are told and find the truth of the matter - which is subjective, as well! What is true for one might not be true for another. 

It is a bit of a chore, is what I am trying to say, and unreliable narrators are aplenty.

Currently, the Convent believes that earlier scripture naming Dalamud as Menphina’s Loyal Hound were written by Spoken who were trying to make sense of the world around them. They got it wrong, but no doubt there are things we get wrong even now with all our knowledge. 

The point of their faith is not to get things 100% right all the time but rather to meet the star and her denizens with hearts full of love. They don’t allow dogs at the convent, however.

The news out of EW is another matter since it still feels very fresh and new. Odette has stepped into the role of Nun Errant and she does relay information back to her Convent, either in person or via letter. I don’t know if the news of the WoL fighting the 12 made papers and so far it seems that most of the Loporrits that stayed star-side are in Old Sharlayan to learn! A big ship did go beyond the moon but that was… beyond the moon! So, like the nuns, I don’t know! They are but Spoken creatures, they question, yes, but it is difficult for them to see the grand picture being as small as they are.  It should be noted that Odette is not the warrior of light. I try very hard for her to not know everything the warrior of light gets up to in the MSQ because she, realistically, would not know. She’s just some nun! What I CAN say is that if Odette knew everything that I, the player, know she would still worship the Moon and Menphina. Imprisoning Zodiark before more needless death, setting the Loporrits to building a fallback and escape plan, reincarnating her closest and most trusted allies to serve as deities and make sure he cannot be freed? That’s love, baby. Of course, Menphina, the deity of Love, would be the keeper of the moon and its secrets! Also, almost none of this answered the secondary questions but… This is already very long but I could go on about the dark side of the moon, what it means to love, and all that but I’ll end it with this: It is okay for your characters to be wrong and make mistakes, IC! Let them have harmlessly bad and factually untrue opinions. 

BONUS: I recall a question about how a manmade moon might effect a god or goddess who is tied to it! But -- prayer and belief is were deities get their powers.

Well, the 12 as we know them are kind of ‘manmade’ themselves. Yes, Venat sort of reincarnated her most trusted allies, however… It was shown that prayers have the power to change them! We know that this altered Halone in some ways and I believe that it altered Menphina the same. Basically: Enough of her worshippers thought Dalamud was her ‘loyal hound’ and so she got a loyal hound. So, why should the moon(s) be any different?

[blackjackkent]

OK, clearly we've got to put the pedal to the metal and get moving on tracking down Gortash, so - early morning in camp, let's get out on the road and--

Oh, Christ, what do YOU want?

"I've had my eye on you. Hot as brimstone, jagged as lightning... and seething like the River Styx. But there's something missing, isn't there? You're hungry for pleasures beyond this plane. Something more satisfying than mortal flesh, blood, and bone."

...Bahahahahaha oh my god. Really?

I can't imagine what Hector could POSSIBLY have done that would give her even remotely this impression, so I am choosing to interpret this as her trying to fuck up Karlach's relationship, since Zariel doesn't actively want her murdered anymore but that doesn't mean Mizora wants to see her happy.

Hector, as usual, is just baffled by the whole conversation.

"I have no idea what you're on about."

"I'm talking of the mundanity of a life ignorant to the thrills of the Nine Hells," she purrs. "Yes... you're curious. Your eyes are lit like raging stars. You want what only I can give you. The ecstasy of agony. The pain of the damned, distilled into pure bliss - beyond every climax you've known. The little death, writ large." She smiles slowly, her eyes drifting over him in a long, lascivious arc. "Smile, and I'll come to you when you put your head down to rest. I will sate your most forbidden lusts." She tilts her head to one side, laughs softly. "Or don't... and know the eternal ache of the unknown and the unanswered."

Hector's eyes are very much not lit like raging stars; he's just sort of staring at her in bewilderment. However, she's not entirely wrong about him being curious.

Much to his own shame, he is only human and she is a creature designed for temptation in every aspect, and what she describes does spark a smidgen of physical response, rather as his moment with Gale in the Weave or with Astarion's teeth in his neck, back in the early part of his adventures, did as well - when he was still newly out in the world and being acutely reminded of the fact that he had a body and it had needs. He is fully capable of giving in to his own curiosity in ill-advised ways, too; in other circumstances... perhaps, he would even listen.

But he has Karlach, and that is enough for him. And Mizora is responsible for far too much misery among his friends for him to even consider the notion.

"Absolutely not," he says flatly.

Her eyes flash for a moment, but then her expression smooths out. "Dear me," she murmurs. "I've overestimated you. Trust me, I shan't be making that mistake again. Ta-ta!"

-----

"You're kidding. Mizora? Mizora wanted to get you in the sack?" Karlach stares at him and looks as if she isn't sure whether to be furious or laugh. "And thought you'd say yes?"

"I'm not sure what she thought," Hector says wryly. His lips twitch. "She said something about me being 'hot as brimstone.'"

"Well, she was right about that," Karlach says, and grins mischievously. "Can't fault her taste, I'll say that much." A slight pause. "You weren't... y'know. Tempted? Right? Not by her?"

Hector draws a breath and lets it out slowly. "What was it you said about Flo? 'If she’d been completely different from who she was, we might’ve been real friends.'"

"Hah..." Karlach lets out a soft bark of a laugh and shakes her head. "Yeah. Get that a lot with the infernal sort..." A pause. "I know I said I'm not the jealous sort - and I'm not, long's we talk about it. But not her. Not her..."

"Never her," Hector agrees firmly. "You can be certain of that."

----

(A/N: Out of curiosity, I did go see what happens if you say yes. As the romance scenes in this game go, it's honestly pretty lackluster; Hector stood on a floating platform in an abyss with Mizora, with different colors of flame around him representing different layers of the Hells they were "moving through," and made suggestive faces while the narrator described him experiencing different flavors of agony and bliss. And then Mizora's clothes vanished and they floated up in the air snuggled together inside her wings while Hector was FULLY CLOTHED, which was a choice. And then they woke up in the barn in camp, she said something about him being "forever marked" by the experience, and then Karlach walked in on them.

The actual most interesting aspect of this was Karlach's response. She is fully too good for this world.

Obviously she was angry - but her first anger was on WYLL's behalf, not her own: "Look, I don't own you. I can't tell you what to do, and I wouldn't. But Mizora? After everything she's done to Wyll? After everything she WOULD do to me if given the chance?"

Nega-Hector explained that his curiosity got the better of him, and Karlach, because she is, again, too good for this world, forgave him. I was 100% sure she would dump him for this. "Ugh. I wish I could say I don't understand. But I know what those fuckers are like. They'll promise you the world, make you believe it too. Then right when you're relaxed, yoink! There goes the rug, right out from under you. I trust you won't make the same mistake twice. Mizora works for Zariel - *pure* evil. We don't need them. We have each other. Ourselves. *Life.* What else could we want?"

Oh, no, Karlach, if Hector ever actually treated you like this, I would WANT you to dump his ass. You deserve better.

Anyway, what a relief that that didn't actually happen. XD )

[i-looove-dillydallying]

I’m a wolfstar-shipper, but I actually really like the Tonks x Lupin pairing as a concept; it had a lot of potential that, unfortunately, was not met (though I am a sucker for tragically bittersweet endings, as well as characters who deem themselves unlovable being loved unconditionally, so kudos for that). Part of the perceived poor execution comes from the fact that the Harry Potter series is told through limited narration: we know what Harry knows, and we may be more curious about certain relationships that exist within his periphery than he is. There could’ve been an entire contextual build-up to their seemingly abrupt feelings for each other that Harry - and by extension us as readers - simply did not experience. Personally, however, I feel like we could’ve been thrown a bone regarding their developing romance here and there, considering that it has already been established just how much Harry eavesdrops. Granted, we did get Molly mentioning how people rush (romantic) decisions in trying times: “Its all this uncertainty with You-Know-Who coming back, people think they might be dead tomorrow, so they're rushing all sorts of decisions they'd normally take time over. It was the same last time he was powerful, people eloping left, right, and center...”

And now for the potential in dynamic I mentioned: after losing the rest of the Marauders, Tonks’ whimsy might have been just the thing to reawaken Remus’ playful side and create a light in the darkness of war (remember Dumbledores quote about turning on the light?), and Remus could’ve helped cultivate her mature side. As with any good ship (imo), there was also plenty of room for angst: Tonks was an auror, Remus classified as a “Dark Creature”. You can imagine the rest.

I don’t mind their 13 year age-gap as much as I thought I would (and other people seem to do), but that might just be a matter of personal taste (and my complete and utter trust in Remus as a good, if occasionally self-destructive and cowardice person). They’re both consenting adults.

What I do mind is the way Tonks’ character changed for the worse as her feelings for Lupin became apparent. What used to be a fun, likeable character turned bratty and unable to read the room (perhaps it is not the time to publicly press for a relationship label - especially with a notoriously private future partner - when he is in mourning). It has however been ages since I last read the books and God knows the films don’t do Remadora justice, so I won’t go too much into that (unintentional?) negative character arc.

As a final note I’d like to say that Wolfstar could be canon-compliant (or pretty much any Marauders-era ship involving Remus) as Remadora happens later on, and bisexuality exists. Luckily, because Harry Potter and the fanon around it are works of fiction, you can interpret the characters and their interpersonal interactions however you like, which is why I politely ask to remain civil in discussions about this post, which I genuinely do hope will occur. No but seriously. I’d love if you voiced your opinion (regardless of whether you agree with me or not) - you’ve already read this far anyway! Thanks for that by the way.

Tldr: I like Remadora conceptually because of their potential, but it (mostly) fell flat.

[thelooniemoonie]

So I just finished reading House of Leaves...

Here are my thoughts. I will do my best to avoid spoilers, but will mention a thing or two.

Oh man, that was one hell of a ride. While I myself am a huge fan of horror, this was the first horror book I have read, and what a great experience it was!

Going into the book I already somewhat knew of the madness that lurks inside (that being the quarter inch, and the impossibly long hallway) and was surprised that the madness started on very early. Being the book is over 700 pages long, I sure as hell didn't expect it to start about 60 pages in.

What you don't expect however, is the madness that takes it's toll the longer the book goes on. Multiple storylines, narrators and themes start converging together to the point where everything starts falling into place, to the point it becomes nauseating as exploring the house itself. What I can say however, is that the house is only barely scratching the surface of what is truly going on within these pages.

For context the book is cleverly written as a meta-narrative, as an essay analyzing the film The Navidson Record, a fictional film that does not exist in the real world. What the book strangely does however, is reference actual real life sources when dissecting its premise, to the point where reality and fiction start blurring. The book feels as if it's having a conversation with itself, covering countless of different themes and metaphors that overlap with one another. Given this thing has been analyzed and picked apart for decades since its release, I'm gonna leave it to the experts about the secrets within its pages. (Although I will say this: pay attention. The longer the book goes on the more the different puzzle pieces will start clicking together.)

I was curious as to how a book may scare a reader since I'm unfamiliar with the experience of reading horror, but I will say the longer the book went on the worse it got. If I had to make a comparison, it would be the same feeling I experienced when watching Skinamarink: Dread. A long, droning kind of dread that one experiences when you are alone in your house and all the lights are off and everything is black. And you know no one is coming for you. But you swear you saw something from the corner of your eye. It's the feeling of running up the stairs after turning the lights off and praying something isn't running after you. Dread.

Very quickly things will become nauseating. At first I wasn't scared of the premise of the house: it's a haunted house that defies reality. So? But I found myself not dreading the events that unfolded or the "interesting" formatting of the book, but that the reality of the book itself seemed to be imploding on itself. Spoilers, but the one moment I think where I specifically started spiralling was when Exploration #5 was occurring, and Navidson had to stop and rest with only his matches, he pulls out a book to read and it's....the House of Leaves? The book you're reading right now? But how is that possible? How is Navidson reading the real life book that you're reading, when the fictional events that are pertaining to him are happening right now to him?? What are even the Johnny segments?? (Note: don't read them at work like I did) Why does nobody cited in this book know who the Navidsons are, even though they're quoted directly in reviewing the film?? What the hell is going on???

.

I made a joke in an earlier post that Navidson wants to fuck the house. I meant this as a joke. What I soon horrifically realized was that others were correcting me in that it wasn't a joke. Navidson wants to fuck the house. But he also doesn't want to fuck the house. But it is also a secret third thing that's literal to the foundation of this story. (No pun intended.) But oh god it gets so much worse.

At the time of writing this, I just finished the book 1 hour ago. I feel like I just stepped off the worst rollercoaster. And I loved it.

10/10 very spooks

On a less serious note I think the funniest moment in the book was when the Chad's and Daisy's teacher, after noticing their strange behaviour at school due to the effects of the house, reasonably decides to pay their parents a visit to talk about it. What the poor lady doesn't expect however, is that she arrives right after the events of the house unfold and the Navidsons are having the worst week of their life, coming to the screaming and crying family while there is a dead body on the floor.

In essence it can be summed up by this gif, which frankly sums up the vibe of the story overall:

So yeah it's a good book. I recommend it.

[obsidiaspell]

Chapter 3: The Bitter Truth

Yes I am continuing this, yes it is because of the one person who liked all my MoL posts. @lady-without-name this is for you

Here we go again, insert meme.

Warding honestly sounds like such an interesting subject, I relate to having a teacher that sucks at teaching though, discrete mathematics my beloved. Syrokian highlands - yes the government wants you to know how to work here, wink wink. Oh what I would not give for just a novel of Zach and Zorian being a part of an expedition meant to establish an outpost in the Northern Forest.

ah once again we are foreshadowing Zach being a time-traveller. You know I remember reading this the first time, I was unfortunately a bit spoiled because it literally said in the description of the book there is a timelooper present. I wonder if I would have figured it out myself.

Yeah he still can't do female voices. I am really dunking on the narrator a lot aren't I? I would switch to just reading it, but and audiobook is so convenient tho.

Zorian searching for a word throuple lmao. At least he knows when to stay in his own lane, I like that about him. "He did nothing to me, I am not going to get him into trouble."

No, he could detect no disapproval in posture, and he was pretty sure she’d be rather annoyed if she sensed his plans. explain to me once again Mister Kazinski how you absolutely cannot be an empath?

You want them to learn 10 dances in one week? I barely learned 10 dances when I had my dancing lessons in several months?

I can relate to not wanting to have a relationship with a classmate because the rest of the class would make it unbearable, god I am remembering high school now. "I am nobody! A third son of a minor merchant family from the middle of nowhere." - muahahaha, oh the sweet power of hindsight

Yeah, Zach is a prime protagonist hero material, but he is gonna need you, isn't he?

OK this right here was a moment Ilsa lost me, I hate, hate I tell you, when a child (he is fifteen, it counts) tells you something is bothering them, they have a problem with something you listen. Even if he didn't have empathy headache and it was just some plain old social anxiety this approach vexes me so much! I get headaches too blah blah blah. Her getting Akoja to go with him, is problematic at best. I know she has a crush, but still if he says he doesn't want a day why force him?

and of course, the wise ones know this is not at all Benisek's fault, but our time traveler pulling the strings

Aah fortov comes on the scene. I am kind of curious how that really went down, you know the whole purple creeper patch thing. But we are about to see Kael, our first time loop ally.

This chapter does a good job of setting up some things for later and how Zorian feels about his place in society and the greater world, as in he does not want the world to care about him at all.

[manuscripts-dontburn]

Stone Blind

Author: Natalie Haynes

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I am so, so sorry, but this one was a mess. The Gods ruin it, because they are, in fact, 21st century teenagers. The other thing that ruins it is a million points of view which chop the story up in a way that takes every exciting moment away, stretching it until you just do not care one bit. And Medusa? She is a minor character, to the point of being in the story for less than even half of it. Natalie Haynes can do better and has done better.

What Maisie Knew

Author: Henry James

First published: 1897

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

Dear Lord... I think this was the most tedious and boring book I have read this year so far. If I was not listening to it on audio, I would have DNF-ed it halfway through. I was hoping for much, much more from a classic dealing with a child of a messy divorce and custody battle in times when divorce was still a dirty word. Sadly this is just a mix of awful people and a desperately naive kid in situations that are so repetitive I could have cried.

The Golden Enclaves

Author: Naomi Novik

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★★★☆

I cannot deny this whole series has issues, mainly it needed much, much more editing, and the info-dumps, so often taking a form of a stream of consciousness, can get tiring. And yet, this last book ties it together with a bow so well, I cannot help but applaud Naomi Novik for creating an original, interesting, and captivating version of the world. The finale left me positively breathless.

Elisabeth: portraits of an Empress

Author: Brigitte Hamann

First published: 1998

Rating: ★★★★★

A very nice, quite comprehensive gallery of official portraits, photographs and prints of the famous Empress, that would make a perfect companion to a full-blown biography. Perhaps the one by Brigitte Hamann herself.

The Seed Keeper

Author: Diane Wilson

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Some parts of this book are extremely touching and well-written. Unfortunately, other parts bored me. I felt like the author needed to make the story tighter, and more focused. Much of what was happening seemed to only skim a surface of a situation, many of which could carry great importance within the story.

Off With Her Head: Three Thousand Years of Demonizing Women in Power

Author: Eleanor Herman

First published: 2022

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

(Wo)Maaan this was a MESS. I don´t even know where to start.There is really no logic in how the narrative is arranged. The history part is only about 25%, 10% talk about women in other places than US and the overwhelming majority of information is about Hillary Clinton, Kamala Harris and Nanci Pelosi. Essentially, if you have even a tiny interest in US politics, there is nothing new or surprising (though of course, it can still make you angry). The only thing this book says is that there are awful double standards and women in power have always been treated much more harshly and cruelly than men - something we all know, cannot dispute and it could have been a Tumblr post. But frankly, Mary Beard said the same thing with fewer words and greater impact in her Women & Power: A Manifesto.I feel kinda bad about rating this book so low, considering the topic, but this was just too basic and not well put together.

Nightingales: The Extraordinary Upbringing and Curious Life of Miss Florence Nightingale

Author: Gillian Gill

First published: 2004

Rating: ★★★★☆

The amount of research done for this book and the included details that stem from it is simply astonishing. That can be seen as both an advantage and a disadvantage of the book, depending on what you want and how much of it you want. If you read this only to familiarize yourself with the remarkable Florence Nightingale, you will be probably swamped by the wealth of information about her extended family (and even some ancestors) and the almost tedious narration of her life before the Crimean mission. However, if you like family sagas, delving deep into Victorian daily life and attitudes, you will have your fill with this book. The title is indeed truthful to the content. One also must mention that even though dense, the book is very readable and easy to navigate (at least once you get over all those ancestors).

The Rules of Magic

Author: Alice Hoffman

First published: 2017

Rating: ★★★★★

Do you like - magical realism? - strong and believable family ties? - romance? - beautiful writing? Then pick up this book.

Triangle: The Fire That Changed America

Author: David von Drehle

First published: 2003

Rating: ★★★★☆

I had some problems following the opening chapters dealing with the hidden politics of New York in the early 1900s, and the frequent breaks in the narrative to introduce nearly everyone felt sometimes jarring, but all in all, this was a well-researched and sensitive tribute to those who lost their lives during this horrific event. It is also a loud call-out of greed and its favorite child, capitalism. What truly terrifies one is the fact, that things like this still happen and the underlying reasons are always the same.

The House is on Fire

Author: Rachel Beanland

First published: 2023

Rating: ★★★★☆

This is a solid piece of historical fiction that uses the same style that made books like Salt to the Sea and All the Light We Cannot See so very readable: short chapters that keep changing points of view. I liked the fact that the whole book is set during just three days, showing how quickly and unexpectedly lives can completely change. I was also glad to learn about this tragic event - the historian in me is always, always interested in learning.

The Corset

Author: Laura Purcell

First published: 2018

Rating: ★★★★★

Not gonna lie, this was pretty great! Sure, the story of Dorothea is not really as engaging as the story of Ruth, but Dorothea´s chapters provide a welcome breathing space from the suspense and horror of Ruth´s. The longer you read the more difficult the book is to put down. Excellent gothic novel.

Empty Theatre: or, The Lives of King Ludwig II of Bavaria and Empress Sisi of Austria (Queen of Hungary), Cousins, in Their Pursuit of Connection and Beauty...

Author: Jac Jemc

First published: 2023

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I was stunned by how purposefully artless the writing was. I also believe a "satire" should be more than just being snarky about real historical people. The whole thing felt extremely pointless. Save your time for better books, all ya readers of historical fiction.

The Brontës: The Fantastically Feminist (and Totally True) Story of the Astonishing Authors

Author: Anna Doherty

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Sweet and simple introduction to the magnificent Bronte sisters for little kids.

Little Fires Everywhere

Author: Ng Celeste

First published: 2017

Rating: ★★★☆☆

This is a very, very good book. It was, unfortunately, simply not for me, who gets easily bored by American middle-class drama. The most interesting parts dealt directly with the adoption case, which turned out to be a subplot rather than the main event.

[primeideal]

Les Mis Daily: 1.1.1 Monsieur Myriel

-for those of you who know French, I am interested in the connotations of the title of Part One, Book One: “Un Juste.” French has the thing where an adjective can just turn into a noun sometimes, so the adjective “juste” is really serving as “something/someone who is juste.” Hapgood translates this as “A Just Man,” I’ve also seen “An Upright Man.”

The reason I’m curious about this is because, in 21st century US Christianity, God’s “justice” is often contrasted with God’s “mercy.” By the end of Book Two I don’t think there will be any question that Myriel is a man of mercy, even of divine mercy! But Hugo is saying that he is also a man of justice. Which, if true, tells us a lot about what Hugo means by “justice.”

-”Although this detail has no connection whatever with the real substance of what we are about to relate, it will not be superfluous, if merely for the sake of exactness in all points, to mention here the various rumors and remarks which had been in circulation about him from the very moment when he arrived in the diocese.” Experienced Hugo fans are like...“oh boy here we go.” But this time around I was thinking about Saleem Sinai, the narrator of “Midnight’s Children,” who also knows how to do a good epic tangent. In the last chapter or so he lampshades himself and is like “if I had time and wasn’t pretty sure I was dying I would tell you all about this guy who’s urinating in public outside my house and how that connects to my history, but alas, at this point I need to be brief.” Hugo-pastiche voice and Saleem should team up on a crossover.

[candyskiez]

Hi!!! 💖

6, 10, and 16 for your TOH ask game! 🦉

6: Hmmm. I got two! Willow and Boscha. And the Collector actually, so uh. Three. Look. Just just listen man just listen.

Willow, ngl, was boring for a while but For the Future sold me so hard on her and idc what y'all say. And context makes her so so much better ohhh my god. Because I started thinking. Ohhh she thinks her "old self", her old weakness her old personality is some curse that's coming back to ruin her and haunt her. She tries to kill every bit of the old her that lost Amity, that couldn't fend for herself that nobody liked or wanted. Because things only started getting better for her once she proved she could be strong, so of course her take away was that nobody loved her if she wasn't. She already lost her dads and she can't afford for everyone to stop loving her now, she can't afford to be weak anymore. Everyone loves her now. She needs to be the person they love. She needs to kill that weakness she needs to get rid of it needs to rip it out or everyone will LEAVE. God. I love her.

Boscha...admittedly. Mostly because of some very good fics. A fic that went into the idea of her teaching one of her friends to bully and be stronger. Toughen them up because nobody bullies the bullies, they were freshly traumatized and if she didn't get stronger they'd be a target. It made her so INTERESTING. And other fics that started selling me on the idea of her being attracted to Amity and the fucked up ways that could manifest. In one she'd dated a guy just to see how Amity would react, curious. And when he'd dumped her, Amity had dropped everything to comfort her. Boscha needs Amity to be that girl, her right hand, needs that dynamic because it makes her feel good about herself. She likes Amity so so much so WHY won't Amity LOOK at her. Why does Amity get to be fine WITHOUT HER. For the future once again made her very interesting to me I know y'all don't like it but. Idk man I like boschamity idk what to tell you. Love loses!

The Collector: OH BOY. Ngl I hated him at first. He was so annoying and boring to me? I didn't get the appeal at all. Didn't understand WHY everyone loved him. Then, once again, for the future happened and I just went 👁️👁️ and then watching and dreaming happened and I went oh okay fine he's cool. There's just. Something compelling to me about this child who has no role models whatsoever, who's been completely desensitized to the concept of death and horrible things because he's known them as just reversible punishments. And just the fact that he thought the archivists are the only one who can permanently get rid of someone. His reaction to Luz dying just....man. It sold me on him. But the just.. man. The scenes with him and King in ftf were so good too. Combination of "he's just a kid!!!" and "God. Poor fucking king." Done WONDERFULLY and I love him. I love himmmm okay fine Dana you sold me on them. I love them. I'm not immune to tiny god who has no idea what death is.

ONTO THE NEXT INE. FINALLY....

10: Oooo self indulgence. Honestly. In my very self indulgent way. I would've fucking loved a mentor episode. I have so so so much lore for the mentor but like. Almost none of it I'd actually logically put in the show. With that being said GOD it's fun to imagine it being a major thing in the background slowly building up and being really really important. I love the mentor I love the mentor I am weak man

16. The titan showing Luz the glyphs. Y'all, Philip was an unreliable narrator. Luz wasn't being shown them, and Philip wasn't hidden from them. Philip screamed at and attacked everyone he met. Philip viewed the isles as Evil and wanted nothing to do with it for years. Of course Luz discovered them so fast, she was actively looking for them the entire time she was in the isles! That's not Papa Titan showing her them. That's all Luz. Give the girl credit y'all.

[the-down-upside-finch]

Hi! I'd love to know more about Navigating Peril With a Compass and a God - I love the name and am very curious about it (also about Deck Them All and Half-Hour Identity??)

OH YES I will gladly tell you about them! They are all somewhat older stories that I revisit from time to time, although I would like to brush up on their plots a bit more at some point.

I'll probably include snippets I think are funny, but they're all really old bit so please bear with me ;~;

This... is going to get long, so I'll just put it under the cut now haha

Navigating Peril With a Compass and a God

I know exactly where this story spawned from. There was a writing prompt that I couldn't get out of my head: "You make a sarcastic joke to your friend about them being god-like. They don’t catch the sarcasm part of it and confess that they are, in fact, a god."

The story is in 1st person and follows the protag/narrator, Lupine Rowling, as he goes through his first year in college. (I started this story during my senior year in high school and initially had no idea how colleges worked, by the way.) His roommate, Circinus, is a bit... odd.

“Uh… yeah.” I tried not to rudely stare at the guy that was now glancing up from where he was standing; the blender was disassembled across the counter in front of him with the screws and whatnot lined up from smallest to biggest. “Who’re you?” “Circinus.” “That’s a cool name,” I said, not really knowing what else to say. It’s not exactly every day you walk into your dorm and find a stranger having broken in to take apart the blender.

Long story short, Circinus wasn't taking his duties seriously enough and got dropped on Earth as punishment, but then this becomes a problem when Lupine accidentally finds out that he's a god. (Apparently this is the plot of one of the Thor movies??? I have never seen them but that's what a friend told me.)

So they end up embarking on a quest road trip to appease the angry gods that don't want humans to meddle with their affairs (even though Lupine literally did nothing), which in turn accidentally makes everyone think these two college students have gone missing/gotten kidnapped. SO NOW THEY'VE GOT "Have you seen this person?" SIGNS ALL OVER THE PLACE WHILE THEY'RE TRYING TO BE INCONSPICUOUS.

On top of that, some of the gods naturally place a bet on the situation, so random deities keep showing up to either help or hurt the chances of Lupine and Circinus making it to their destination. It becomes a found-family story pretty quickly haha

Deck Them All

Okay this one. This one. Uhhhhh...

So, in high school, I discovered what stream of consciousness was and became literally obsessed with William Faulkner's writing, and his books are now one of my special interests haha BUT ANYWAYS--

The plot? I have no idea. I started writing it with no plan or ideas, just whatever came to my mind while I was writing. The story POV jumps around the main group of characters, all which have the most random names because I came up with them on the spot.

The characters include: Diamond, Ace, Bean, Trill, Halls, Snow, Jak, Rams, Sheeps, Socks, Verl, June, and Chirp. They're all high school students (since I started writing this while in HS).

The original draft of this story is very style-imitation as I was trying to figure out my own SoC voice, which means I ended up with chaos like this:

My chair is backing Halls if I sit in it properly and face the computer on the desk that the chair is at. Halls would be backing me, too, but he is sitting with the chair back against the desk so he is facing me as he awkwardly sits there. He is looking at his pocket or something in a weird way, fingering the fabric as if trying to tie a knot together; it’s really odd. Halls is a bit odd. But he’s a good friend. Rams thinks so and I think so and the only person that doesn’t think so is Socks and Socks is a jerk most of the time so his opinion really doesn’t matter. Halls said he cheated on a test once and Halls told on him and that’s why Socks hates him but I feel like that’s a really stupid reason to hate someone so it’s got to be more than just that. Not to mention that Socks likes Halls’s sister which is actually really funny because Snow isn’t someone I think would be the right person for Socks but honestly you never know how things will go these days. “Here, help me staple my pants.” My head whips around at Halls’s words. He’s holding a stapler out to me, holding together the fabric of his jeans on his hip that has ripped. What the heck, Halls, I think, What the heck. He imploringly looks at me, so I take the stapler.  “Can’t you fix it later?” “I’ve gotta fix this now.” He turns slightly to the side, pulling the denim as far as it will stretch to allow me to staple the fabric back together. I attempt to do so, but it doesn’t hold. I try a couple more times, none which are successful. “Let’s just take it to the sewing room,” I complain. “No this will work.” What the heck, Halls. What the heck.

Honestly? My SoC voice hasn't changed all that much except I don't have as many giant chunks of text like that. I definitely want to find a way to finish it at some point.

Half-Hour Identity

This one is probably the least-developed of my short WIPs, but this is my "magical girl trope" story! It started out as a normal superhero story but then I was like. "What if the powers are transformation based and also run on a time-limit." And thus this story was born.

We've got three main characters, and (you guessed it) 1st person POV but the POV jumps between the MCs. We've got Poppy Mills, Hickory Jones, and Watson Woods, who all live together in a townhouse.

Hickory is clairvoyant, and the only one who was born to parents that didn't have powers (and is known as an "enigma"). Poppy can grow flowers from certain spots on her body, and each type of flower has a different effect when consumed (narcotic, strength-boost, healing, etc.) and Watson... has super speed, but he also gets motion sickness.

The gimmick of the powers is that once you transform, you only can stay transformed for a limited amount of time before you revert and can't transform until that amount of time passes. So, if you have an hour limit, it takes an hour to reset before you can transform again. (This is subject to change if I feel like tweaking the conditions.)

And when I say "transform," I literally mean like a magical girl transformation. It's the only time you can use your powers in this world, and the higher-ranked heroes are ones with really long limits and strong powers, which usually don't go hand-in-hand.

Poppy's limit is 30 minutes, which is where the title comes from. Watson's is stupidly long (around 8 hours), and his power is considered really strong, so he's just been nerfed by the motion sickness thing. Hickory's is stupidly short (ten minutes, max), but this means it resets very quickly and he uses that to his advantage.

Anyways... Yeah! Thanks for asking about these stories! I love talking about my ideas haha