#god hes getting here on wednesday and im already tired of dealing with him

[imperaptorfuriosa]

i do not understand people who consistently sit on their phone while watching movies. once and a while, sure. but everytime????????? WHAT'S THE POINT OF PUTTING ON A MOVIE IF U ARENT GOING TO WATCH IT

[atlabeth]

fever - sokka x reader

this has been sitting in my drafts half finished for 3 weeks so i thot it was prime time i actually finished it

this is kinda based off the song w dua lipa and angele so you can listen to that if you want

summary: sokka's convinced there's a mystery illness keeping you from focusing, but somehow he's completely oblivious that the only 'sick' you are is lovesick, and he's the reason you can't focus.

a/n: i have never written a sickfic. but this is like. a fake sick fic. its an idiots in love fic. i mean this is coming from mr "is he taller than me? is he better looking?" himself so. it makes sense. as usual, this is not proofread bc im a lazy mf

also im sorry for being vague with the calc but i was NOT about to do math during summer who do you think i am? ??

wc: 1.7k

warning(s): mentions of being sick and 🤢calculus 🤮 but otherwise tooth rotting fluff

-

How could the smartest man you knew be so, so incredibly stupid?

You thought that you were being obvious, so obviously that you were sure he knew. It was embarrassing how obvious you were.

You had met Sokka in your calculus class at the start of the new semester after you ended up sitting next to each other, and it wasn’t a stretch to say that you were immediately smitten. With eyes like the ocean and a face that had to have been crafted by the gods, you were almost too distracted to respond when he asked you for a pencil. But when he winked at you after giving his thanks, it only solidified what you had already suspected: you had known this man for all of five minutes, and you already had a crush on him.

Little did you know, it was going to turn into the most infuriating crush you had ever experienced.

You and Sokka became fast friends even though calculus was the only class you had together. Unfortunately, it was also something that you completely sucked at. Bad news, it was required for your major. Good news, Sokka was some sort of genius and offered to tutor you — Wednesdays in the library turned into a weekly occasion, and served as an opening for your calculus skills, your feelings for Sokka, and your exasperation to all grow stronger.

You normally weren’t someone to beat around the bush. If you started to like someone, you told them and dealt with whatever happened after, but something about Sokka just kept you from spilling your feelings outright. You knew that if he didn’t feel the same way, your relationship likely wouldn’t change, but there was still that tiny voice that said it’s better to stay like this in case things do go wrong — and this was the first time you listened to that voice. You simply valued your friendship too much.

But that didn’t mean you were going to be completely quiet about it — you hoped that if you did enough, he would be able to realize you liked him and do the whole process for you. A bit of a dim hope, but crushes make people do stupid things.

Things like bringing an extra coffee to every session, laughing at all his jokes (even the bad ones), sitting a little closer to him than usual, not dropping out of this wretched class so you could spend time together (it might’ve been required, but you still counted it). He didn’t make a point to object to anything, so you knew you weren’t making him uncomfortable — but you had concluded after nearly a whole semester of working and studying together that he was the most oblivious person in all of Ba Sing Se. He could teach you all kinds of formulas, but had no idea that you liked him. Grand.

Today was arguably the most important session out of any of them, seeing as your next class was the final, so it was only fitting that Sokka unknowingly made himself more interesting than any material you could’ve been working with. His arms were going to be the death of both you and your calc grade. You swore that the heat rushing to your cheeks was actually emanating off of you.

“Hey, Y/N!” Sokka grinned as he saw you and raised a hand in greeting, a sentiment you would’ve returned had it not been for the coffee cups in your hands. You settled for mirroring his grin and settled down in the seat across from him. You slid his coffee cup over, set your own down, then shrugged your bag off all before taking a seat.

“You ready to study ‘till your eyes bleed?” he asked, prompting a nervous laugh from you.

“You jest, but my eyes might actually start bleeding depending on how long we go,” you sighed. “There’s a reason I got an extra shot of espresso today.”

“Come on — by now you should know that you have nothing to worry about! I am the best teacher there is, and you got me all to yourself.”

Your eyes widened momentarily and you coughed, purposefully averting your gaze to give yourself some time to recover. Okay, he was going to make it really hard to focus today. “Let’s just get into it.”

He nodded and flipped open his notebook, beginning to talk as he rifled through his bag for a few extra things. “Okay, we’re just gonna start with going over the basics, then we’ll work our way up. There’s a couple practice problems on that page, so you can go ahead and answer those as a warmup.

You slid the notebook over in front of you and after approximately five seconds of looking at the first problem, found yourself studying Sokka rather than the material. Who could blame you? In the battle of cute tutor boy versus calculus, he was going to win every time.

He turned around and you immediately averted your eyes once again, trying to appear extremely involved, but you found that your mind was empty on anything to do with math. “Hey, uh— how do you do this first one? I’m totally blanking here.”

“We use limits in everything — this is actually something you’re really good at!” He studied you intensely and frowned. “Are you okay? Like, you’re not sick or anything, are you? You seem kinda out of it.”

You choked out a laugh and shook your head. “No, no — I’m fine. I guess I’m just a little tired.” As if to demonstrate your lie, you took a sip from your coffee and cringed internally. Love had turned you into an idiot.

He seemed to buy it as he nodded and picked up the pencil, scribbling a couple of notes as he explained the first problem to you. “Does that make sense?” You nodded and he handed the pencil back to you. “Okay — the other ones follow the same kind of process. It should be easy enough.”

You managed to get a little further in the second problem, but your lovestruck mind would not stop focusing back on Sokka every time you tried to do, well, anything. Curse him and his perfect arms, and eyes, and hairstyle, and everything.

You shook your head and set the pencil down once more, letting loose a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Yes, you did. “I just can’t focus at all.” Because of you. You picked up your cup once more and took a sip, hoping it would do something to get you back into the math state of mind.

Sokka frowned once more as he put the back of his hand against your forehead. “God, you’re hot.” You nearly choked on your coffee as your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets — he had to know what he was doing by now — how could he not? “Like, you’re completely burning up. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I swear— I just…” you set your cup down on the table and heaved a sigh that was a touch more exasperated than necessary. “Are you telling me you seriously haven’t noticed? Like, not a single thing this whole year?”

“I’ve noticed a lot of things this year,” he chuckled. “It’s kind of our whole job, so you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific.”

You finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Sokka, I’m not— I’m not sick! Haven’t you noticed that I’m only ever flustered, or running into things, or forgetting info, or— or just a complete idiot when I’m around you? I like you, like, a lot, and I have for an embarrassingly long time! The reason I can’t focus is because I am hopelessly attracted to you in every single way.”

His brows creased for a moment and you clamped your mouth shut, worried that you had just ruined everything. It was only after a pause that felt like a century that he finally responded, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Well, why didn’t you just say something?”

You stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in pure surprise before the annoyance set in. You set your jaw as your brows furrowed and you hit him lightly on the side of his arm with the back of your palm. “You can’t be serious! You— you’ve gotta be messing with me by now. I really can’t believe that you can be that smart but this oblivious!”

He finally let the grin play across his lips in full force and he shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, I don’t know how you don’t expect me to mess with you when you scrunch up your face all cute like that every time you get mad. Besides, I started liking you after that fifth class; I offered to help you out so I could spend more time with you! I didn’t realize you felt the same way. I kinda just enjoyed the free coffee and getting to look at you all the time.”

“I can’t believe you!” you cried as you hit his other arm. “You’re telling me that I had to deal with this- this mental turmoil about whether you liked me back, while you were just enjoying the free eye candy and coffee the whole time?”

“You have nothing to worry about! I enjoyed the company far more than the coffee,” he joked, a certain twinkle in his eye. “But, you are probably out a couple twenties after all of that. So, what do you say about this Saturday, the cafe by the shoe store? My treat.”

“Damn right it’s your treat,” you shot back, though you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face. “You owe me a lot — you have to make up for those coffees and all the emotional distress you caused.”

“Oh, I think I’ll have plenty of time to make up for lost time. After all, we do have a lot of coffee dates to get through.” And when he winked at you just like that first day, you remembered just how impossible it was to be angry at Sokka. “But first, we kinda have to get through this study date. The final’s still happening tomorrow.”

You responded with a raised brow. “This is a study date?”

Sokka shrugged and grinned. “They’ve all been study dates. You just didn’t know it.”

-

idiots in love idiots in love idiots In LOVe

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

atla: @marianne1806

[achilleasfury]

Jason finding a child that looks like his gay boss in his workshop/room and decides to raise it, after his lover just fucking dissapeared(part one)

(this kinda evolved from an idea based on @neerasrealm ) A child. There was a fucking child in his workshop. How the hell did the child get in here. And why the fuck did it look like Zalgo, but in tiny and annoying. And it cried. Why the fuck did it cry. And why the fuck did Jason know how to deal with a crying baby. Actually he didnt, but after picking the child up and cradling it for a few minutes, it went silent. For a second he hoped it just kinda died, but as he looked at it, it smiled at him. Why the fuck did a child smile at him. And where the actual fuck was Zalgo. The damn god had a lot to explain. He better would come home soon. Jason sighed, shifting the child on his waist. He had no idea what he should do now. The best probably would be to just wait for Zalgo and drink tea. Maybe strangle the infant, if it was too annoying, but who could predict the future? Jason couldnt. After a little preparation, Jason could put the child aside and make himself tea in peace. He then proceeded to just grab a random book, place himself on the couch next to the baby and relax. He quiet enjoyed the peace. For 30 minutes. After that period of time, the damn child started to fucking cry. As he looked to the baby, trying to figure out, what was wrong this time, his eyes lit up a little green. This silented the baby and it stared with big big eyes up to Jason, probably confused. Or exited. Because it started to laugh. What kind of magic man was Jason with children?? The ginger just put the child back down again, thinking about what humans and their offsprings needed to survive. Food. They needed food, just like him. And babys needed to be feed like every two hours. Jason just stared blankly at his tea. If he would have to keep this fucking child, he wouldnt be able to sleep long. “Oh fucking hell. This is horrible.” What did babys even eat? They didnt have teeth yet, so.. Jason got flashbacks from the ‘how to fuck’-lesson from his father. He was m a l e. He couldnt breastfeed a baby. But who could? And if noone could, what should he do then- panic rushed trough Jason. He didnt wanted to have to bury an infant. This couldnt be his legacy. This wouldnt be his legacy. Much to his exitement, a bottle of warm milk just fucking popped up besides him, like something was watching him and decided to gift him mercy. He looked up, shot a quick smile to the roof. Just to be nice and not get set on fire. He didnt wanted to have too much stuff to relate to Natalie and Jane. Another sigh escaped him. He already felt tired. If Zalgo wouldnt come back soon, Jason surely would lit something on fire. Arson seemed to be the perfect answer to everything now. He may should consider getting a therapist. And then sent the bill to Zalgo. After feeding the baby, he just put it down. “You need a name. What in the world even are you? You know, I hope its just a nightmare and I wake up later and you’re not there anymore. That would be perfect.”, Jason waited a few seconds, just for the dramatic effect. Then he looked up the gender of the infant, while trying not to cringe. “You’re a boy... And you look like a really really young Zalgo..”, he needed to think about that. “Fuck it, you’re just gonna be named Zacharias, Zach for short. Why? Because I want non-german and non-israeli speakers to suffer, when you’re going to be older.” Jason then proceeded to smile down on Zacharias, then look at him in absolute disgust as the baby vomited over himself. “This is a fucking joke, right? Are you fucking kidding me?”, Jasons eyes lit up comepletly green. He rememered why he was disgusted by young kids, and terrifyed by teenagers. After cleaning up this mess, searching after baby clothes, not finding any, then proceeding to sew some fitting ones, changing Zacharias’ clothes, and drinking a glass of red wine, Jason was comepletly done with everything. The best part of this was that Zacharias had fallen alseep during the clothes changing. And then Jason fell asleep next to him. (I WANTED IT TO BE LONGER, BUT IM JUST GETTING OUT OF AN BLOCKADE IM SORRYYY- I’ll try to upload the next part tomorrow or at last at wednesday :))

[be-the-spark-flyboy]

Could Use Some Love

Call It What You Want (2/?)

Series masterlist

Pairing: Med student!Poe x Reader (college AU)

A/N: This got wayyyy out of hand, and i apologize for nothing. Also this took so long cos i came up with a plot, hated it, then changed the whole plot, hated it again and now i have no plot and im just gonna see where this takes me :( what is canon I don’t her

Chapter summary: Due a broken heater situation, you end up crashing at Rey, Finn and Poe’s residence.

Word count: ~2.7k

You’ve been having an absolutely horrible week. And it is Wednesday. Work had been piling up in your internship firm, as well as in college. You’d barely slept for a total of 3 hours in the last two days and needless to say, you were totally exhausted. You had barely gotten back from work when your supervisor had called you to dump more work on you. 

Great, another sleepless night.

Your tiny apartment was eerily quiet without your roommate Jessika. She told you she was staying over at her boyfriend's place for the night. It wasn’t the first time it had happened but, you hated staying alone in your apartment, especially at night.

The snow falling outside and the temperature rapidly falling in your own house did nothing to improve your mood. You pulled you knitted blanket tighter around yourself as another shiver racked through your body from the cold. Was the heater even working? It had been giving you problems for some time now, you were pretty sure it was already working way past its expectancy. You made a mental note to talk to your landlord about it, turning your attention back to your work.

Minutes pass and it only gets colder. Now it got to the point you couldn’t put your feet on the ground without recoiling. It wasn’t a good sign at all. You reach for your fuzzy slippers and pad across the room, still in your blanket, to the thermostat.

The thermostat display was working fine, but it seemed the heater wasn’t. After several minutes of walking back and forth to the heater and thermostat and several google searches later, you come to the conclusion that your heater was broken. And there was nothing you could do about it at this hour.

Your eyes well up from the frustration, a few tears falling. You try taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself, but the cold air only stings your lungs, reminding you of your predicament, mocking you. You go back to the couch, sitting cross-legged and rocking back and forth as you mind reels.

It was too cold for you to spend the night without a working heater. It was times like this that makes you want to smack yourself for not being able to make more friends. All you have is Jessika, who won’t be able to help you out right now, and Rey, who stayed with Finn and Poe in an apartment just nearby. You could ask Rey if you can crash on her couch for the night, but you felt like you were bothering her.

You had never been over to their place, despite knowing them for months now. Finn and Rey had invited you over a few times before but you always had some excuse to not go. You just weren’t that great with people, even if it was people you knew and care about. 

You honestly didn’t know why Rey tried so hard to stick around you. You never made it very easy for anyone to be your friend. Your naturally aloof nature had made sure of it. Jessika has been the only one who had stuck around since middle school, and when both of you ended up in the same college, you jumped at the chance to room with your best friend.

You rub your eyes, picking up your phone. The time shows 1 am as your finger hovers above the call button on Rey’s contact. Just do it you have no choice, you try to convince yourself as you hit the call button.

---

The doorbell rings you stuff a few extra clothing and your laptop in a bag, just as Rey had instructed. You go to open the door, wrapped up in an overcoat, and hoping you don’t look as much of a mess as you feel. But Finn catches sight of your puffy red-rimmed eyes and immediately pulls you into a hug. The warmth is welcoming after feeling cold for so long, and you gladly fall into the embrace.

Thankfully Rey was still awake when you called. The second she had picked up the phone, the tears started flowing freely as the stress of the whole week hit you at once. She had managed to calm you down until you sounded coherent enough to tell her what your problem was. Both Rey and Finn were both willing to let you take up the guestroom in their apartment for as long as you needed. Rey told you she was picking you up and Finn had insisted he come along since it wasn’t safe for the two of you to be alone in this weather. They had basically shut down any apologies you sent their way, insisting it wasn’t any trouble for them. 

“Rey’s waiting in the car,” Finn informs you. You sling your bag onto your shoulder. “You good to go?”

--- 

The first thing you noticed when you stepped into the ridiculously large living room, was the cityscape. Tiny lights twinkling in buildings as the snow fell, softer than feathers. It looked like a scene from the movies. 

You can’t help the woah that you breathe out at the sight before you. You’re aware of exactly how stupid you look standing there, mouth agape, but you can’t help it. The entire apartment looks gorgeous.

Rey giggles at your expression, dragging you along to the guest bedroom. Which, unsurprisingly, is almost as big as your entire apartment. Settling your things on the table, Rey sits on the bed, gesturing for you to take a seat as well.

“You better now?” She asks flinging an arm around your shoulder. “You can stay here as long as you like, don’t worry I’m not expecting you to pay me or anything.” She jokes. “You know you can ask me if you need anything, right?”

It’s an effort not to start sobbing at her kind words. You lean your head against her shoulder. “You’re too nice to me Rey, not everyone would do this for anyone.”

Rey chuckles, “Firstly, you’re not just anyone, you’re one of us now,” she pulls back, holding your face in her hands. “And secondly, you would do the exact same thing if our positions were reversed.” You just nod, too dumb to say anything.

“Finn and Poe stay upstairs. I haven’t Poe since morning, he locked himself in his room, studying for some test I think,” she engulfs you in a bear hug before getting up. “Just knock on my door if you need anything, I’m right next door. And there are some snacks in the kitchen if you’re hungry. I’ll see you in the morning, okay?”

---

It is 3 am and Poe, utterly exhausted after an entire day of cramming for his hematology test which was probably still going to kick his ass, finally pulls his headphones off his ears. He thinks he surely looks as tired as he feels. The whole room is a mess of books, notes and granola bar wrappers strewn around, an empty coffee pot and mug on the table. He tells himself he’d clean it up tomorrow, after getting some sleep and food in his system. His stomach growls, reminding him of his hunger again and he collects the coffee pot and the wrappers and sets off to the kitchen to get something to eat before heading to bed.

His phone lays forgotten on his bedside table. He doesn’t feel like picking it up, already anticipating the number of missed texts and calls he would've received from his girlfriend. Studying medicine was hard work and time-consuming. It was easier to just pretend like his phone didn’t exist sometimes rather than try to explain to Sarah why he needed the whole day to study. He’d deal with her wrath later.

Poe sighs heavily treading down the staircase. The living room is dark and empty as expected, but there’s light coming from the kitchen. A small part of him couldn’t help but feel thankful for that. He wasn’t scared of the dark per se, but the recent horror movie had led him to question some of his life decisions. Like whether it was worth being friends with Finn and Rey. He probably would’ve walked out of the theater within less than an hour if you weren’t there, holding his hand. The memory brings a smile to his face.

Imagine his surprise when he sees you. He expected to see Finn or Rey at the kitchen, but there you are sitting at the dining table, a frown on your face as you click away at your laptop.

Was he hallucinating?

—-

You are sitting cross-legged on one of the dining table chairs. Your laptop sat on the table, alongside a few detail plans spread out, as you edit your drawings. The table in the guest room wasn’t big enough to fit the large plan drawings. So you had moved to the dining table since everyone had already gone to sleep. 

You feel like you have stepped into an alternate universe where everything feels new to you. The view of the city through the full height glass window was just so breathtaking, but the large living room only feels emptier and somehow colder than your small apartment, even with a working heater. Regardless, you slowly slip into your own rhythm getting more accustomed to the almost eerie silence.

You startle when Poe calls out your name. “What are you doing here?” You look up and oh god he looks adorable. His hair is tousled and he pushes a few curls back from his face trying to tame it. He’s smiling at you, brown eyes sparkling, and it makes you feel all soft and warm inside and- and he just asked you a question. And you are just staring at him like a creep instead of answering.

“Oh, hey Poe!” You try not to cringe at yourself, hoping he hadn’t noticed you staring. Poe grimaces when you explain your whole heater situation to him.

“Well, I hope you’re comfortable,” he says. “Don’t mind me, I’ll be back in my room soon enough,” he smiles again, moving to walk past you. You hear him rummaging around in the kitchen for a few moments.

You mentally slap yourself, feeling like such an asshole. He has a girlfriend, for god’s sake. No matter how much Finn and Rey seemed to hate his girlfriend, you still feel guilty for thinking of Poe as anything other than a friend. You cuddled him in a movie theater, christ. You resist the urge to slap yourself on your forehead. What were you thinking?

For someone who just said ‘don’t mind me’, he makes it pretty hard to ignore his presence. He is back at the table and takes a seat, curiously frowning at the plan laid out before you. His cereal bowl is on the table before him, carefully placed away from the papers you had spread out. You continue your work, trying not to get too distracted by the man beside you. 

“What are you doing?” Poe asks you. So you explain to him the long-winded process of the schematic drawing before you and how you need to add in the changes marked out to the 3D model in your laptop. You’re pretty sure you are rambling halfway through it, but Poe seemed to be interested enough, occasionally asking you more questions here and there. Explaining your work becomes complaining about it and soon you find yourself exchanging internship horror stories with him.

Halfway through your conversation, you hear a patter of tiny footsteps and the cutest corgi you’ve ever seen emerges from the hall. Poe immediately perks up at its arrival scooping the ecstatic canine into his arms. “Buddy! Why aren’t you sleeping?” The corgi paws at his shirt, barking and licking his face. Poe laughs, scratching its fur, “I missed you too, buddy.” You can’t take your eyes off the scene unfolding before you, heart swelling at the interaction, you’re sure you’re making heart eyes at them.

Once the corgi calms down enough for Poe to comfortably hold it in his arms, he turns his attention back to you. “This is Beebee,” he introduces his corgi to you, “My son,” You laugh and Beebee tilts his head inquisitively, looking up at you with his sparkling brown eyes. Like father like son, you think.

The bowl of cereal lays forgotten on the table as the two of you continue chatting. Well, he does most of the talking as you continued on with your work, your attention mostly focused on Poe regardless. He absentmindedly pets Beebee, who is now dozing off on his lap.

“He’s a big baby, can’t live alone. Honestly, I think anyone would go insane if they lived here alone,” Poe concludes his story of how Finn had practically begged him and Rey to come to live with him. Poe is your senior by two years and had been staying in a dorm before Finn started college.

“Big baby huh? Says the one who can’t watch a demon on a screen without looking like he’s going to cry,” you snicker, bumping his shoulder with yours.

“They’re just really scary okay? I don’t how you can sleep after watching things like that,”. He grimaces, holding Beebee closer. “Great, now I’m thinking about demons,”

“Oh no! Quick, think about something else,”

“About what? Ask me something,”

“Um... okay, how did you meet Finn and Rey?” you ask him.

“Oh that’s a long story,” and so he begins the tale of how both his parents, Shara Bey and Kes, were in the Air Force where they met and fell in love and-

“Wait, are you giving me your entire biography?” You interrupt him.

“No no, it’s relevant, trust me,” he assures you before continuing. Queue the entrance of a new character named Han, who was their best friend and was married to Leia Organa, who would become his godmother-

“Wait, Leia Organa?” You gasp, “Senator Organa is your godmother?”

“Great so you’ve heard of her-” you don’t even let him finish his sentence again.

“Heard of her? I've been a huge fan since the time she crushed the Vader dude during that debate,” he chuckles before continuing.

The story takes a somber turn when he tells you that his mother passed away due to an illness when he was 8 years old. He quickly skims over that part before telling you about going to live with his godmother in an obscenely rich neighborhood, since his father was away too much due to his work. Leia’s son Ben, apparently, was the resident asshole of the place, who hated Poe for reasons unknown to him. So Poe had resorted to making friends with the two younger children living across the house instead.

It’s an endearing story, which could’ve been told with lesser detail, in half the time. But you would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy listening to him talk.

It’s a miracle that you are almost done with your work. Its almost 4.30 am and it occurs to you that you’ve been keeping Poe for quite some time. You see him trying to stifle a yawn in between words as he tries to narrate the story of how Finn had broken his arm trying to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night. 

“Poe, don’t you have classes in the morning? Don’t you need to sleep?”

Poe feigns offense, “Am I boring you?”

“No,” you laughed. “I stay up all alone sometimes, and it gets very lonely, so thank you for keeping me company.” You answer sincerely. You are pretty sure Poe is beaming, but that could also be the side effect of not getting much sleep for days. Well at least you can sleep in tomorrow, and the guestroom bed looked really inviting. “But, you also really need to sleep,” 

“Well my classes only start after lunch tomorrow- I mean today, so I still have time to sleep,” he stifles another yawn with the back of his hand. “Actually, you’re right, I need to sleep,”

BB8 is asleep, snoring lightly on his lap when he finally relents. He scoops up the corgi in one hand and the mostly empty bowl of soggy cereal on the other, dropping it in the kitchen sink.

“Good night, or is it morning already?” He flashes you a grin that makes your insides flutter.

You chuckled, “See you later, Poe,”

You’re so fucked.

---

The Dameron taglist (open):

@writefightandflightclub​ @arkofblake​ @yougottakeeponkeepinon​ @multifandomlife22​ @skymerons​ @smol-peter-parker​ @rae-rae-patcha​ @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol​ @spider-starry​ @hkmultifandom​

[embeanwrites]

Finding Home Gavin Reed x Reader

Chapter 20

Masterlist

Hey, come over to my apartment when you get off?

 have to feed cats then ill be over, probs an hour

 Works for me

 warning im exhausted

 When are you not? Besides I only date you for the cuddles anyway.

 rude but fair

I sighed, laying on my couch. My apartment was becoming less dull, but it still needed some work. It was Wednesday evening and I had already prepped for my class tomorrow. After the previous night with my dad and Connor I were feeling a lot better. I hadn’t been able to see Gavin yesterday, he was at the DPD until 4 am. He even had to have Tina stop by his house to feed his cats. I was excited to tell him about how talking to my dad went. I was also looking forward to telling him about my class. 

I was scrolling through my phone when finally, Gavin knocked on my door. I jumped up and let him in. He dramatically walked in and flopped himself down on my couch.

“Well, hello to you too.” I said closing the door and looking back at him. He’d already closed his eyes. I walked over and made him move his feet. “Long day?”

“Too long. Nines is on my case about my paperwork. I always get it done like Jesus, he's not my boss. He needs to lay off.” He mumbled. He wiped his eyes and sat up. “Sorry. How was your class yesterday?”

“It was good, and be nice to Nines, he’s just doing his job.” I gently brushed his hair out of his face and smiled. “I’m excited for my class tomorrow. We’re finally getting into the real class work and not the b.s. syllabus day crap.”

“How did talking with your dad go?” He leaned into my hand.

“Better than I expected. I’m pretty sure without Connor’s help we still wouldn’t be talking. I want the four of us to get dinner soon.” He groaned and laid back down, putting his legs back on my lap. “Hey, come on.” He sighed.

“Tin Can can’t even eat, (Y/n). Why would we go to dinner?”

“Connor.” He sighed.

“I don’t want to do this right now, I’m tired.”

“Then call him Connor and not ‘tin can.’” I replied gently. 

“Slipped my mind.” He mumbled.

“Slipped your mind to treat Connor with respect?”

“(Y/n), I call Nines the same thing.”

“That doesn’t make it okay, Gavin.”

“Neither of them have complained. They can stand up for themselves if they want.” 

“Just because they haven’t said anything about it doesn’t mean it’s automatically okay, Gavin.”

“They’re big robots, let them stand up for themselves.” I moved Gavin’s legs off my lap and got up. I started pacing and biting the skin of my thumb. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gavin watching me pace. “(Y/n), it’s not a big- “

“You better not say it’s not a big deal!” I snapped, finally turning to face him and pulling my hand away from my mouth to jab my finger accusingly at him. “Connor has been nothing but kind to me since I’ve come back to Detroit! He has defended you to my dad and spoken up for you!” I started walking towards my kitchen. I needed to do something with my hands, so I started putting away clean dishes. Just anything to keep my hands busy.

“It’s like a playful nickname, (Y/n)!” Gavin yelled as he followed me.

“No! Gavin it’s not! You call him tin can, plastic detective, plastic prick, and probably more I haven’t heard! It’s rude and horrible! Those are not playful, and you know it!” I whipped around and looked at him. He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

“Why does it matter? He’s not even here!”

“It matters because he’s practically my family, Gavin! I care about him and I don’t want to listen to you make fun of him!”

“Oh my god, you’re being way too dramatic! Calling him Tin Can is not making fun of him! You’re the one who asked me to come over, you knew I would be exhausted! Why do you want to pick a fight?”

“I’m not picking a fight!”

“Jesus Christ (Y/n)! What do you think is happening right now? You are picking a fight over the smallest thing right now! What the fuck happened to you that makes you defend androids so fucking much!” Taken back by his words I took a step back and folded my arms over my chest.

“I’d like you to leave now.” I whispered.

“(Y/n), come on.” He took a step towards me and I took one back.

“I need you to leave.” I raised my voice and glared at him.

“Fine.” He said, throwing his hands up. He slammed the door shut behind him. I took a shaky breath, attempting to calm myself down. 

 It took thirty minutes of pacing around my living room stewing in my anger for it to dissipate. I finally laid down on my couch, grabbing my phone. No new notifications. Good. It's not like I wanted Gavin to text me anyway. I opened messenger anyway, I'd been alone all day and now I only wanted one androids company.

 Are you busy?

 No. Why?

 Can you come over?

 I can be there in 11 and a half minutes.

 I exhaled and put my phone on the coffee table, and covered my face with my hands, scrubbing off all the residual ick of volatile emotions. I closed my eyes and thought about what I said. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so mad, but Connor was becoming an important person in my life and I didn’t want to listen to Gavin patronize him. What even was my relationship with Connor? He didn’t mind when I said ‘dad’ instead of ‘my dad.’ Would he mind if I called him my brother? Should I even ask? Connor was new at this whole emotion thing and trying to figure out family dynamics couldn’t be easy.

There was a light knock at my door. I got up and opened it and let Connor in. He smiled gently.

“Is Gavin here?”

“He was, why?”

“His jeep is in the parking lot.” I told him to leave. Why was he still here? If he thought I was going to come down there and apologize to him, he was sorely mistaken. 

“How do you know it’s his, Connor?”

“The license plate number.” I laughed and sat back on the couch. Connor smiled and sat down. “Are you okay?” I sighed.

“No, but I’m getting there. Connor, I want to ask you something and I want you to be 100 percent honest, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Would you be comfortable if I referred to you as my brother?” He froze and his LED spun red. “If that makes you uncomfortable or if you just don’t like it then I don’t have to. I just wanted to ask.” I spit out as quickly as I could.

“Could I call you my sister?” He asked quietly. I smiled widely.

“Of course, being siblings is a two-way street.” I bumped my shoulder into his.

“Why ask me now?” He looked at me softly.

“Well…to be honest me and Gavin got in a fight. He called you ‘Tin Can,’ and I got mad. I said that you were practically my family and that’s true, Connor. You’re basically dad’s son. He cares about you a lot and I care about you too.” He nodded, his LED still spinning red. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked softly. He paused for a moment.

“I’m trying to come up with the right words, (Y/n). I am honored you see me as a brother and to be honest I also view you and Hank as family. However, I worry that I may be overstepping my bounds. I’m not trying to replace Cole.” I put my hand on his shoulder.

“Connor, neither of us expect you to replace Cole. You can be a son and a brother without replacing Cole. I think Cole would be happy with how much you’ve done for dad. He’s not an easy person to get along with, but somehow, you’ve managed to get close to him and help him. He cares about you, Connor. You shouldn’t feel guilty about that.” He nodded; his LED turned yellow and finally back to blue.

“You’re really okay with me calling you my sister?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t.” He smiled at me.

“I’m sorry, you and Gavin got into a fight because of me.”

“Don’t. I’m not going to let Gavin make fun of you, Nines, or any other android.” Suddenly there was a knock on my door. I groaned, having very little doubt that it was Gavin. I glanced at Connor who was looking at the door. Sighing, I got up and opened my door. My suspicions were confirmed. “Were your ears burning? What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

“Why are you still here? I asked you to leave.”

“(Y/n), can I please come in so we can talk about this.” 

“I don’t know. Are you going to be mean to Connor? Or perhaps you want to insult me instead. Let’s see you can still go after my anxiety, my lack of friends, or you haven’t insulted my dad today! Want to take your pick?”

“(Y/n) …” Connor spoke behind me. I turned around and sighed. Moving to let Gavin into my apartment.

“Hey, Connor.” Gavin said. I was surprised to see Connor glaring at Gavin, he normally seemed happy go lucky. I wondered if he was trying to protect me from getting hurt again by Gavin. 

“Detective Reed.” He responded curtly. I sat back down next to Connor and crossed my arms. 

There was a tense silence for a moment, before Gavin, who was staring at the floor, sighed and muttered ‘okay’ under his breath and then looked up at me. “I’m sorry, (Y/n). I’m just tired and things slip sometimes. I have been getting better about that shit ask Connor.” I dragged my eyes away from Gavin and looked over at Connor. For a moment he sat there not saying anything and finally he sighed and responded. 

“The daily insults have decreased.” Connor agreed begrudgingly. I sighed.

“Gavin, you have to get better about that. Connor is my family and I’m not going to be with someone who doesn’t treat him with respect.” Gavin sighed.

“I’m trying, but it takes time. I’m going to slip up and I’m sorry. I promise I’m trying to get better.” I looked at Connor and he nodded. “Shit, do you guys have some kind of telepathic thing going on now?” I laughed.

“No, Gavin.” I looked at him and sighed. “I know you’re trying, but just…let me correct you without getting defensive, okay?” He nodded and scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Gavin looked to the ground and scratched the back of his neck. “Uhhh, sorry about all the insults Connor.” 

“Apology accepted.” 

“Do you guys wanna watch a movie?” I smiled at Gavin’s question and looked at Connor.

“We still have Muppet Treasure Island left to watch.” Connor suggested. I laughed and Gavin groaned.

We all squeezed on to my small couch. I was squashed between the two men in front of the tv. Gavin had his arm resting on my shoulder and Connor was fidgeting with his coin, but kept his eyes locked on the movie. It was relaxing. I hoped we’d have more moments like this.

[donnarider]

!!DISCONTINUED!!  Klance - soulmate au (part 4)

Author’s notes:

update 12th July 2019: This story is unfortunately discontinued. There will not be a next part. I’m really sorry.

Read part 1

Read part 2

Read part 3

“Bold” texts are from Keith, “italic” texts are from Lance

„Wow, that’s… rough?“

„Yes it is! I mean… I meant what I said. I just thought he would...”

“Say that he wants to be more than friends?”

“Yeah…” Lance put his head on the table they were studying at. The library was quiet and Lance had a hard time keeping his voice down while telling Hunk about his horrible not-date date.

“So how did the rest of the da…what happened after that?”

“Well, I was dying on the inside and pretended everything was fine on the outside. So, the usual.”

“Lance!”

Lance sighed and leaned back on his chair. The library’s ceiling suddenly seemed very fascinating to him. “We talked about stuff like favourite movies and such. I asked him about his bike. I had to leave for my seminar and he said he’d text me.”

“Well that doesn’t sound too bad,” Hunk decided and squeezed Lance’s shoulder supportively. “Maybe he just needs some time?”

“And what do I do if he doesn’t? I thought I’d be fine with being just friends but-,” he waved his hands around in a helpless motion. “I was basically doomed when he told me to be nice to my coffee in Spanish. I can’t just NOT crush on him now, you know. And that sucks… big time.”

Hunk smiled sympathetically at him and continued to flip through the book in front of him. “Just take it slow. Take a break for a few days and then invite him to do something and see what it feels like then. He’ll either change his mind or you could just bring me and Pidge along to make the friends thing easier. Maybe that’ll help?”

“Hmm. Yeah, maybe.”

Hunk closed his book and got up. “You up for visiting Pidge and Matt? I don’t think we’re gonna get anything done here right now. Also I think Matt finally got that video game you wanted to play so badly.”

“Nooo, Hunk. You wanted to study. I didn’t mean to distract you, I’m just gonna-“

“It’s fine, Lance. I can’t concentrate anyways. And you helped me so much with my last essay, I think I can go a day without studying.”

Lance smiled at him and got to his feet as well. “Okay. But I swear I’ll be back to normal tomorrow and then we’re gonna take a look at the stuff from Iverson’s physics lecture.” Hunk groaned loudly and made Lance laugh with his desperate expression. “I know, I know. But we both have to get better at that stuff.” He stood behind Hunk and made a gesture over his shoulder like he wanted to show Hunk a beautiful landscape.

“NASA, dude. NASA.”

“Ugh, you’re right. But Matt and Pidge now. My brain needs a break.”

Lance swung his backpack over his shoulder. “Maybe I get one of Pidge’s hugs. I love Pidge’s hugs.”

Hunk beside him nodded. “Everyone does, man. They’re the best.”

Wednesday

 (3:15am): WTF DUDE? ???

(3:17am): I KNOW SORRY! Its our stupid neighbors having a party…

(3:18am): AT T HIS HOU R???

(3:18am): pls kill them for me

(3:20am): I would but prison isnt as appealing to me as you might think

(3:21am): So ur bad boy attitude knows boundaries? ;)

(3:22am): Dont mock me Im too tired for this

(3:24am): Yeh I can feel that

(3:24am): u really dont deal well without ur beauty sleep

(3:25am): Sorry :( And no, I really dont

 (3:31am): KEEEEEEITHH do smth!!!!

(3:32am): I have a test tomorrow !!

(3:34am): OM G IT STOPPED

(3:35am): Keith?

(3:35am): did u kill them?

(3:36am): maybe

(3:36am): KE ITH!

(3:37am): I slipped an anonymous note under their door that I would kill their cat if they didnt turn off the music immediately…

(3:38am): O M G thats cruel

(3:38am): u dont threaten peoples pets

(3:38am): NOT COOL!

(3:39am): chill, I was joking. It said Id call the cops on them

(3:40am): Oh okay good hope ur not just saying that

(3:40am): Also thankk

(3:41am): no problem. Good night, Lance

(3:43am): Lance?

 (7:36am): SORRY FELL ASLEEP!

(7:37am): Have fun at work today :)

Friday

(4:12pm): why

(4:25pm): what? u dont like it? ;)

(4:28pm): no

(4:29pm): oh come on! The queen is my best study motivation!

(4:30pm): please just stop

(4:32pm): KEITH! YOU INSULT BEYONCÉ YOU INSULT ME

(4:33pm): Can’t you study to something normal

(4:35pm): Normal normal or you normal?

(4:36pm): I dont care. Just no more beyoncé please. It’s been hours

(4:39pm): Lance?

 (4:42pm): really?

(4:42pm): Evanescence? That’s mature…

(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIDE

(4:43pm): WAKE ME UP INSIIIDE

(4:45pm): I hate you

(4:46pm): No u dont :)

(4:47pm): STOP THIS MADNESS!

(4:48pm): Hunk says if you come to a college thing with us tomorrow, he’ll stop me for you

(4:50pm): What kind of thing?

(4:51pm): dunno, Hunk wont say, but its really good apparently

(4:53pm): OKAY DEAL NOW PLEASE STOP

(4:54pm): Party-pooper

(4:56pm): Tell Hunk I love him

Keith got off his bike, took off his helmet and unzipped his leather jacket. He headed towards the university building with mixed feelings about what awaited him. He had fought with himself about coming today but eventually the curious side of him had won. Keith wanted to see what Hunk had planned for them and also even if it scared him to admit it…he missed Lance.

Logically he knew that it did not make any sense. They hardly knew each other. But emotionally he just… missed him. He sighed and blinked against the bright sunlight. He lifted his hand to shield his eyes against it and bumped into someone.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“Don’t sweat it. All good here.” A friendly voice interrupted him. The tall boy in front of him looked him over and tilted his head to the side. „Hey, are you Keith by any chance?”

Keith nodded. “The one and only.”

“Oh, great! I’m Hunk.“ Keith took the big hand he was offered and returned the welcoming smile. When Hunk gestured for them to move out of the sun and stand in the tall building’s shadow Keith followed him thankfully.

“Nice to meet you. Thanks for saving me yesterday by the way.”

“Oh, no problem. Lance can get like that sometimes when he’s stressed. He didn’t mean anything by it. You know… finals and all. He’s a bit on edge around this time of the year.”

“No, I get it. NASA is a big thing, who wouldn’t freak out, right?”

Hunk gave a nervous laugh. “Yah, I guess. So umm, Lance had to pick up our friend Pidge, they should be here-“

“Exactly now.” Lance’s voice interrupted them. He stopped next to Hunk and let Pidge whom he had been carrying just now slip off his back.

“Hey, Keith. This is Pidge. They use they pronouns. I guess you already know Hunk by now.” Lance smiled at him and clapped Hunk on the back.

Keith nodded and raised his hand in greeting at Pidge. Immediately he regretted the awkward gesture and lowered his hand quickly.

“What’s up butter cup.” Pidge replied with a grin completely ignoring Keith’s weird behavior, who in return just raised an eyebrow at their choice of words.

“Lance, why did you carry Pidge here? Did you take ‘pick them up’ literally again?” Hunk asked with his hands on his hips.

“They paid me two dollars.”

Pidge shrugged. “I didn’t want to walk. It’s too early.”

“It’s almost noon, Pidge.” Hunk said while shaking his head but there was a visible smile on his lips.

“Exactly. Way too early.”

“I feel you, Pidge.” Keith threw in. “I had three coffees before I got here.”

Pidge yawned and stretched their arms over their head. “Good thinking. I only had one and I feel dead inside.”

“So, Hunk. What is this thing? Why are we here?” Lance asked and absently patted Pidge’s head while they leaned against him, eyes closed and repeatedly yawning.

“We are here, because today…” Hunk made a dramatic pause, “They are having a lecture about space for family and friends of students and-“

“AHHH STAR CEILING?” Lance interrupted Hunk excited while bouncing up and down, Hunk just smiled and nodded.

“Yep, Star ceiling.”

“What exactly is star ceiling?” Keith asked confused. Judging from Lance’s reaction this had to be the best thing in the entire universe.

“It’s only the best thing ever, dude,” Lance started to explain while taking Keith’s arm and pulling him in the direction of a big building.

“They only do this once or twice a year when they have family day for the freshmen and around finals for the really stressed out students so they don’t go all homicidal and stuff.” They entered the lecture hall and Lance directed them to a row in the back. “It’s basically just a short lecture about space and planets and what we do here at college but at the end they turn off the lights and project stars on the ceiling and walls. Dude…it’s the most beautiful thing ever. It will change you!” He gestured for Keith to sit down in one of the empty seats and sat next to him.

Hunk took the seat on Keith’s other side and Pidge sat next to Lance. It seemed like they were just in time because a man holding a mic entered the small stage. From the corner of his eyes Keith saw Pidge leaning over to Lance and whispering something into his ear. A moment later Lance bent forward so that Hunk and Keith could both hear him.

“Sorry guys, we’re gonna get Pidge more coffee. They are literally about to murder someone. We’ll be back in a minute.” With that they both left the room and Keith was alone with Hunk, which he didn’t mind that much. They had only exchanged a few sentences but Keith already liked the guy.

The man on the stage started talking about the importance of astronomy and explained the different subjects they were teaching. Unfortunately he had a really boring and monotone voice and Keith immediately zoned out. Thank God Hunk was there to keep him entertained.

“I know this stuff isn’t really interesting, especially not when he’s talking,” Hunk pointed in the direction of the stage. “But it’s really worth it. Lance didn’t exaggerate…well maybe a little… but it actually is crazy beautiful.”

“So you three all study astronomy?” Keith asked. This was his opportunity to learn a bit more about Lance and his friends without this nervous feeling he got around his soulmate. Hunk somehow managed to create an atmosphere around him that immediately made Keith feel comfortable.

“Yeah. It was actually Lance who got me into this stuff when we were younger. We met Pidge here on our first day. They are this crazy genius and got into college early. They are only sixteen but way ahead of most of the students here. Turned out they and their brother Matt live in the same building as me and Lance so we hung with them a couple of times and now we’re all basically besties for life.”

“Space nerds unite,” Keith said with a smile.

“Haha, yeah. Basically.”

“So… do you and Pidge wanna get into NASA too or is that only Lance?” Keith checked the stage for a second but the guy was still talking about boring stuff and Keith noticed that a few other people in the audience had started quiet conversations.

“Well Pidge is as good as in, let’s be real. Me… well. Of course NASA is the dream for almost everyone at this university and I would be thrilled… but I’m not as set as Lance if that makes sense. I feel like I could work anywhere as long as I’m close to my friends.” Hunk shrugged and knitted his brows in deep thought before he cleared his throat.

“Lance is working really hard for it though. You have no idea how many scholarships he had to apply for before he finally got a foot in. Didn’t stop him though.” He smiled and Keith could feel how proud he was of his friend. “You know, the first year was rough. He failed an important test two times and was sure they were gonna kick his ass but he studied harder than all of us and now he’s always in the top 5.”

“Wow. That’s really impressive,” Keith heard himself say and immediately wanted to slap himself. Way to sound like a high school fangirl, Kogane. Can we please think before we speak, brain?!

“Yeah it is.” Hunk sighed, unfazed by Keith’s inner distress. “It’s also really hard to watch sometimes though…”

Keith raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not the part where he’s top of the class, no. I mean how he gets there. You can’t imagine how many all-nighters the boy pulls during finals and he always pushes himself to get better. I mean it’s great that he’s improving but sometimes I wish he would allow himself a break.” He stiffened and gave a quick laugh. “I’m talking too much again, aren’t I. Sorry, this must be a weird first impression.”

Keith didn’t say anything for a while and chewed on his lower lip. “Is it really that bad? I mean… I haven’t noticed anything and finals are just around the corner right?” He thought back to the few times he’d seen Lance. He had always looked cheery and well… relaxed.

Hunk seemed to be pondering over his answer for a while. That’s when they heard the door behind them open slowly and Lance and Pidge slipped back into the room, Pidge holding a coffee cup in each hand. Hunk leaned over a bit and whispered just before the other two sat down. “Look at his eyes, he thinks we don’t notice…”

Keith had no idea what he meant by that and was staring at a spot on the floor absently when Lance waved his hand in front of his face to get him out of his trance. “Keith, buddy, my man. They’re about to start, don’t pass out on me now!”

Keith blushed a little and sat up straighter. “Yeah, sorry. Not passing out. Now, let’s see your space magic thing. Hope it’s as good as you made it sound.”

The boy next to him grinned from ear to ear. “Better.”

The crowd around them applauded loudly. Apparently the speech part was over and somebody dimmed the lights, making everyone go silent. It was now completely dark in the hall. Keith could feel his palms getting sweaty. Why was this taking so long? He swallowed hard.

He whispered, almost inaudible “Lance?” but in this exact moment they turned on the projectors and surprised ahhhhs and ohhhs could be heard through the entire room.

Keith threw his head back so quickly he almost hit it on his seat’s backrest.

Lance’s words hadn’t prepared him for what he was seeing now at all. It was truly just… beautiful. Thousands of little stars were dancing on the ceiling and the floor and just everywhere. He knew he was sitting in a boring lecture hall and he felt incredibly stupid for even thinking so but for a moment he really felt like he was in space. His heartbeat sped up and his eyes wander around the entire room so quickly he was almost getting sick.

Keith was trying to take it all in before it stopped. The stars danced around his fingertips as he raised his hand in front of his face and watched. He wasn’t even questioning how the whole thing worked it was just too… too everything. In a good way.

“Sooo, did I promise too much?” Lance suddenly whispered next to his ear.

Keith just shook his head and then turned it to smile at him. “No, you didn’t. This is great! Thanks for inviting me to this.” Lance smiled at him and then quickly turned his head to the ceiling again. Neither of them mentioned that it had actually been Hunk who invited Keith.

Keith was still staring at Lance’s face from the corner of his eyes, watching the stars being projected onto his skin and their reflections in his eyes. He looked so beautiful like this, it made Keith’s head spin. He wanted to say something, to tell Lance how pretty he was but he bit his tongue instead. Just friends he reminded himself.

That’s when he remembered Hunk’s words from earlier and looked at Lance’s eyes more closely. What was he supposed to see? The long eyelashes? The small freckles underneath them? The well blended but thick layer of… concealer? Something clicked in his brain. Hunk had mentioned that Lance wasn’t sleeping enough and pushing too hard. Of course he and many others were unable to tell if they didn’t know what to look for. Lance had covered up his dark circles almost perfectly. Almost… Keith turned his gaze to the ceiling again and frowned. Why was he pretending to be fine? It was normal to be tired around finals wasn’t it? Why was he trying to hide it?

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid we have to end this now since our time is up,” a voice sounded from the front of the room. “Thank you all for coming and enjoy the rest of your day on campus.” They turned off the projectors and disappointment could be heard all around. Some classical song started to play and people started to shift but the lights were still out. Keith dug his nails into his palm and tried to breathe evenly. It’s fine, he tried to tell himself. They’re gonna turn them back on every second. Only they didn’t.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it appears we’re having some trouble back here. We’re sure everything will be fixed soon,” the voice echoed again. “Always a bit hard to find the light switch in the dark.” The voice said and gave a fake laugh. Some parents laughed as well. Keith didn’t. He gulped and pressed deeper into his seat.

He could feel Lance stir in the dark next to him and a hand touching his shoulder. “Keith? Are you okay?” Before Keith could even think of something to respond with the lights were finally turned back on. Keith let out a very deep breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding until now. He quickly unclenched his hands and turned his head to give Lance a small smile.

“All good, yes. I’m a bit sad it was over so quickly though.”

Lance looked at him questioningly for a second longer before he returned the smile. “Right? I wish they would do this more often!”

The group got up and headed out before the mass of people in the hall could block the aisles. The bright sunlight blinded Keith for a moment when they walked outside and he held up his helmet to shield his eyes. Someone walked into him from behind and he quickly turned around to apologize for stopping in the doorway but it was Lance he was looking at. An elderly woman complained about them being in her way and they stepped aside and walked a few feet to get away from the mass.

“Sorry for bumping into you,” Lance started, “It’s just,” he pointed at the helmet in Keith’s hand. “I didn’t notice before because I was so excited about the star thing but… did you bring your bike?” Hunk listened to their conversation and laughed looking at Lance now. Keith didn’t exactly understand what he thought was so funny and turned to Pidge for help but they were just quietly smiling at the whole scene.

“Ummm, yes? It’s how I got here. I don’t have a car, soo…” Keith shrugged a little lost.

“Awesome! I mean great. I mean...,” Lance scratched his head. “Can I see it?”

“Uhh, sure. I parked right over there.” Keith pointed over his shoulder. Lance didn’t even wait for the others. He was already on his way to the parking lot, almost running. When the others caught up with him he was inspecting Keith’s bike and admiring the details of the machine by almost touching it with his nose.

Hunk and Pidge seemed kind of impressed too and Hunk slapped Keith’s shoulder. “Sweet ride, Keith!” He joined Lance in walking around the bike to get a better look. “Lance mentioned you work at a workshop. Did you build this yourself?”

Keith nodded and then realised that Hunk wasn’t looking at him so he couldn’t see. “Yah, I did. It was the first project I did without Shiro’s help. Took me a while to find all the parts. I could get a better bike if I wanted but I’m kind of sentimental I guess.”

Lance nodded. “No I get it. It’s a bit like it’s your child, right? I mean… you made her.”

Keith smiled. “Yeah. I guess.”

Pidge gave a fake cough to get everyone’s attention and pointed at the bike. “If you’re finished drooling over that can we go get some food please?”

“That?” Keith repeated in a fake hurt tone.

“They’re secretly loving this more than Lance and me. You should see the stuff they build. We should visit you at your shop and just leave Pidge there for a few hours. They’d have the time of their life.” Hunk chuckled at the expression on Pidge’s face after his revelation.

 “Speaking of food though,” Lance looked at Keith and tilted his head, “We thought about grabbing a bite at Planet Altea. You in?”

Keith considered for a moment. He could spend some more time with them and get to know them better. He probably should. Shiro would tell him to… but he also really wanted to go home. The light incident had seriously freaked him out even if he didn’t want to show it. He’d rather calm down at home, alone, where he could stop pretending and no one would see what a mess he really was after such a small thing.

“Sorry, I need to leave. Shiro wants to visit an old friend of his and he’s dragging me along.” Lie. Shiro never dragged him anywhere Keith didn’t want to go. Apart of from that Shiro wasn’t even home right now.

Lance chewed his lower lip. “Ohh. Okay. We’ll text then?” The disappointed look on his face made Keith feel bad instantly.

“Yes definitely. It was really great. Thank you all for taking me.” Let me leave let me go.

Pidge and Hunk said goodbye and they watched Keith take off quickly. Lance waved one last time before he was out of sight, but Keith didn’t turn around to see it.

 Usually driving calmed him down but he felt himself get more anxious with every mile. He was glad he could finally take off the helmet when he arrived at his and Shiro’s place because he could breathe more freely instantly. He put the bike in the garage, unlocked the front door and took the elevator up to their floor. After hastily unlocking the front door and locking it after himself again, he immediately kicked off his boots and headed for his bedroom.  

He’d learned a few breathing techniques during his never ending counseling sessions and was really glad about that right now. After some minutes of leaning against his door he got his breathing under control. His thoughts however where still spinning, so he put his favourite playlist on shuffle and flopped down on his bed.

After a couple of songs Keith took out his phone to ask Shiro when he would be home and noticed he had gotten a few messages.

 (2:17pm): Hey, u ok?

(2:18pm): Getting kind of an anxious vibe over here?!

(2:20): Also thats an awful lot of emo music for someone who insists hes not emo ;)

 Shit. Sometimes he forgot the soulmate connection was a thing.

 (2:33pm): Sorry! Yes I’m good

There was an immediate response.

(2:33pm): U sure? Doesnt feel like it

(2:35pm): Idk

(2:36pm): Maybe not

(2:36pm): do you wanna talk? I can call u

Keith’s whole body tensed. Was he ready for that? Should he lie, maybe say he was tired and wanted to nap or something? Should he tell the truth? He frowned.

(2:37pm): I’m not… good at phone calls

(2:37pm): Np u can just listen and I’ll do the talkin

(2:39pm): that’d be ok?

Keith swallowed. Shiro probably wouldn’t be home for a while and he really needed to talk to someone. The question was if Lance was safe to talk to? Would it overstep the friendship line? Why could things never be easy…

 (2:42pm): yes, ok

 [Incoming call: Lance McClain]

More author’s notes:

This fic on AO3

Yeah after 500 years I finally updated. I could explain at length why it took my so long but it comes down to this: I was stressed, I was depressed, I’m sorry but now it’s finally here! Hooray!

As always a big THANK YOU to @alteanmoonchild for being my beta and for reading every new draft and honestly telling me when what I wrote isn’t good so I can improve and grow. I love us working together on this <3

Thank you to all of you for reading! If you have any questions or feedback send me an ask or dm me <3

Me an my friends finally cosplayed Voltron so if you wanna see me as Shiro and my awesome friends as Keith, Lance and Coran head over to my instagram.

Do you know what keeps me motivated when I so often doubt my writing and don’t know how to continue? Getting feedback! So please reblog, like, comment or even draw fanart. Whenever I read an “I love this” comment it makes me incredible happy! Also one of my goals is to someday have someone draw fanart for something wrote soo... if you wanna do that I’ll love you. Also please tag me if you do.

If you want me to tag you in the next part when I post it, just send me an ask saying so and I’ll add you to the taglist.

taglist: @alyy--caticus @princealektheorange @an-important-nobody @teddyorionpotter @spookyscaryshitstorm @ladythugs @positevelybakerstreet @meganmoo02 @atomicengineerdetective @jishwadun-is-jishwafun @anemoee

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 8: “The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers.” - Najwah

Cody A. 

https://youtu.be/OSh0mvYBSwo

James Hayden

We just got back from tribal and Ryan was blindsided 3-1. I feel bad for the guy because he had no idea this was going to happen, but that' Survivor for you. I thought there'd be a merge at 13, but Jay's questions at tribal put some doubt in my mind. If it's not a merge, then I think I'm an ok spot if my tribe has to go back to tribal. I'm just praying to the Survivor ORG gods for a merge today or tomorrow.

Cody A. 

https://youtu.be/sg4qe6MUjJU

James Hayden

https://youtu.be/oGcQdHpBzhY

Zack M

i don't know how they did it but let's take a moment to shout out james and najwah making it through tribal! no idol needed. im so proud of them. i feel like james will gladly come back to our original alliance once we merge but najwah's commentary always leaves me feeling uneasy. no offense but like do you want to play with anyone, najwah? lol. you have to somewhat trust someone at some point in this game. i would love to work with najwah for as long as possible if she is still around after the merge but unfortunately all of the comments that have been made throughout the game will keep me from promising her anything longterm out of fear that she will run around like a crazy person at merge. also, i believe that she will be the first person to mention my name from hanuha in hopes of it becoming a big move that she could put on her resume. maola doesn't know me yet. i guess they could see me as a threat because of being picked as a captain but like i don't consider maddison a threat. lol. pedro and kalle seem to want revenge. i think it would be fun to get her out first at merge. i'm just rambling now. i'm hungry. we got the new challenge. it's some mini online games or something like that. idk. i'm not a gamer so i was like i have therapy and can't do this bye. i wonder if they think i'm making up my therapy sometimes but like if you guys have ever questioned it i promise i'm not. i have it monday, wednesday, and fridays lol. anyways, cody pedro and kalle are playing. i really only trust me and ben so like fml. hopefully pedro and kalle understand that they are playing for their lives and we win again. fingers crossed. ok i'm going to get chicken tenders. bye. 

James Hayden

Things post tribal did not go according to plan. I would've put money on us merging tonight, but instead we have another tribe challenge. There's a small part of me that thinks Edge of Extinction is play in this season. After this challenge, we will be down to 12 people and seasons post 30 that have a 20 person cast merge at 13. I think there's a chance we do merge at 13, but the 13th person is the Edge returnee. 

As far as this challenge is concerned, video games aren't my strong point. I'm not a gamer, but these games are pretty straight forward. If we have to go back to tribal I'm voting Amy. Voting out Najwah would hurt my game because it would show the rest of Hanuha that I'm not #Hanuhastrong and it would tie us back up at 6 original Hanuha and 6 original Maola. Voting out Amy gives us a 7-5 advantage heading into a potential merge, shows I'm #Hanuhastrong, and weakens Maddison who I think was the ringleader of Maola 1.0. 

Najwah

Last night's tribal was interesting and actually the hardest tribal council. Ryan started a group with James and I 7 minutes after Palena was formed which already made us weary of him. He then tried to blindside me and made me believe he's blindsiding Amy and asked me about James and his previous alliance and it was just a mess. He's an awesome person and great team player but it was just too much scrambling and we all feared he'd flip flop throughout the game, which is dangerous. I'm trying not to use this space as therapy sessions lmao so I'll keep it short. Uhm, I think i have a good thing going with Amy and James. I just really hope we win this challenge, or rather, don't come last so that I can work with them going forward. Amy let me know she has a steal a vote and I told her about my fake idol and we'd like to work together. I really like these two people. A LOT. I lied in tribal when I said I didn't want to keep things Hanúha strong going forward. I can't believe I have to lie and blindside now lmao its becoming HECTIC. I'm really hoping we did enough to at least place second in this challenge. 🤞🏽🤞🏽

Olivia A

I’m doing so bad at all of these games rn and I feel so bad bc I asked specifically to not sit out of this challenge. I play little phone games and stuff literally all the time and am really good at them and for some reason am just doing so so bad today. If we lose then it’s probably my fault but also my alliance of 3 is really solid rn so I’m not actually worried about getting voted off. I still feel so bad I hate this so much.

Cody A. 

https://youtu.be/8QZTwYzVqVI

Pedro A

if tomorrow is the merge IMMM GONNA DIEEEEE...we won once again..cause we the baddest.....honestly how am i still alive?...LIKE HOW??....chilllleeee

Olivia A.

Okay woah I’m so happy about this win I was so nervous. I feel like we’re in a really good place going into the merge I’m excited :)

Pedro A

i was about to write my pled for help to the 3 hanuha original members..so they could keep me over kalle...but now who cares...i will throw anyone hunder the bus ....to get to that final

Cody A.

Coming into this game being the competitor that I am, I never imagined even entertaining the idea of throwing a challenge.... BUT when Ben came to me with the idea of making a big move on Zack, I’d be lying If I said I didn’t think about it.. That being said however, I didn’t throw it, but I also did not try as hard as I could have.... I’m very surprised we are not talking to Jay at tribal right now.. Moving forward though, we need Zack.. I need Zack.. If we are merging tonight it is strictly a numbers game from here. I am ready to get my hands dirty, make big moves, and WIN THIS DAMN GAME!!!

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXbaQPdhQw0&feature=youtu.be

Najwah

After that whole challenge experience and this entire week, I don't even know what to say. It's been a tiring experience. Being on a tribe where no one really connects is the worst. I tried telling James that the other tribes were highly competitive but for some reason he was okay with his scores? This entire week I've barely had any sleep. Even now, it's almost 5am and people are just on our tribe, OKAY with low scores? We were doomed from the beginning. The leftovers. The unchosen ones. The losers. Honestly, it messes with you psychologically too. I'm tired of scrambling and relying on tribemates to make an effort. I wanted to work with Amy but she's so difficult to get hold of/unresponsive even though we are on similar timezones. James is hellbent on keeping it Hanúha strong and really, hope he isn't playing me. My heart honestly cannot deal any betrayal so close to merge, I'd also like to just enjoy my Saturday. I deserve to be on the merge tribe. Will most likely be at the bottom ass of the tribe but I want to be in it, nonetheless. I worked for it. And right now, I'm exhausted. Annoyed. Frustrated. Fucking mad. This tribe swap has honestly been DRAINING. Everyone is too nice and meek and people just don't care about winning lol.  I hate the anxiety and sleeplessness of these past few days. I forgot what life was like before this ORG lol what did I do? I miss Leanne, still. The best person in this game. I hate it here. I just want to get to merge and be able to breathe again. 

Sarah

Ahhhhh I can’t believe our tribe, Maola, won the challenge by so much. I legit thought we were going to lose and didn’t have high enough scores. Aimee freaking killed it on her scores, wow. I have been telling Aimee how to buy the small perfume bottles that give you advantages and where to get coins to buy them. She used FIVE on that challenge yesterday (I wouldn’t have used all five butttt). Part of my strategy during this tribe swap has been buying/playing advantages so we don’t have to go to tribal because I still don’t know who is close to who, and the more I’m with this tribe the more I feel like they really just don’t talk to each other and there’s not much gameplay happening. Part of my strategy with convincing Aimee to buy and use advantages was also so I know how many coins she has because that can come in handy at Merge. I also wanted to give her information about the idol hunt (which I got from others— I’ve never actually idol hunted not knowing where or what I was getting) so she could trust me. I FREAKING hope tomorrow is the Merge! How awesome would it be for our original tribe to have the majority and for me to still have an idol. I feel like after this tribe swap, Cody and I will be in the best position in the game when it comes to all of our connections with people. We have our group with Zack and Ben, I feel close with James and now Aimee, and Cody feels close with Najwah. So we really are kind of in the middle and as long as people don’t find out about how close we are, we can just get all the information from others and share with each other. I guess I won’t stop posting a brick.... sorry. 

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjWjJwew7rc

Zack M

welp. i think this is it. could we finally be merging tonight after tribal? or are we swapping to two tribes of 6? that would be super lame. all i know is something is happening and i'm glad because i've been so bored in this tribe. we keep winning. there's no reason to play. i need action. the third tribe that starts with a p is going to tribal again. i don't remember the name. hopefully james and najwah stay hanuha strong so we can go into the merge 7 / 5. if najwah turns she will be my #1 target. she's too dangerous for my game to allow her to run around. other than that ... we came in second during the last competition. we were so lucky. the maola tribe killed it. i wish i would have played because our teams scores were low key pathetic. the p tribe could have beat us if all their players had participated. like is kalle even playing the game? is she here? i talked to her once. i know i should reach out in case it is the merge but it almost feels pointless. i'm sure she will run back to the 3 girls in maola. pedro seems to legit want revenge for john and is open to work together. i hope he isn't lying because i truly do want to take him as far as i can. look, i know i'm talking kind of cocky but i believe in acting in the way you want things to go. i'll be a clown if i'm blindsided. i don't mind. i like clowns. however, this is the way i see it going down in my head ... - we stay hanuha strong - we get out the 3 girls from maola - we get out kalle - we take out aimee and kalle - we take out pedro and james - we then take out sarah - then we have ben cody and i at finale 3 just how we planned it it could honestly work. we just have to figure out idols and make sure no one plays them correctly. and that's where i'm at right now. wish me luck. 

Aimee

http://rebloggy.com/post/gif-pokemon-cute-anime-kawaii-charmander-s01e01/106470386286 Happy dance! I’m all for keeping this tribe together. Haha I may have gone a little over board on making sure I did my best on the flash games, but you really never know what the other tribe is going to be doing or getting on these challenges. I hope this doesn’t make me look like a challenge threat if I make it to merge. Sarah has really helped me with idol hunting and finding coins and where to find the advantages. This is great trust building! Thanks Hanuha for the free coins I yoinked from one of your bags at your camp.😏 After everything that happened in the last tribe and despite me voting for her, Sarah and I have really come a long way! I truly had the wrong read on her before. She is actually now someone I am very close with and get along well! Last night after we won immunity she told me she really wants to work with me moving forward in the game! Let’s do it girl! I really enjoy talking to Grae. They seem really genuine and such a kind-hearted person. They keep giving me little messages that seem to hint at wanting to work together. I think at this point it’s unspoken but we both know we would love to. We just get along so well. I also vibe really well with Maddison and I know she could be a very good ally in the future in this game. Olivia proved she is a total team player on this tribe and listened to our advice during the immunity challenge and really stepped up her scores! I am having such a much better time on this tribe and am really enjoying myself. These relationships feel WAY more organic. I will do what I can to help keep this going! I would love to see all of us make it to merge. I’m also so so happy Najwah is still in the game after her last tribal and hopes she makes it through the next tribal!

James Hayden

We are 45 minutes away from tribal and Najwah messaged me saying Amy is ok. We were worried about her because she's been MIA over the past couple days. Per Najwah, Amy will not play her vote steal. It sounds like Amy wants out of the game and if this is what she wants, I will oblige. There's a small part of me that thinks Amy is playing us, but I don't think that's the case. 

Maddison

Everyone is expecting a merge tonight, and original Maola is down in numbers. Hoping I can find cracks and worm my way in. 

Pedro A

SO i told everything to zack......he seems to rule that allience....so he will 100% tell the others....and will try to take grae and maddison out...

Pedro A

Grae and Maddison just create fake alliences.so people dont write their name down....and make people feel safe... AND im here to make justice for john PERIODTTTT.... #justiceforjohn

Ben Kessler

I hope we are merging. Pedro is out for revenge against his former alliance. Zack is a threat and I need it to be known. Cody and I are hopefully solidified. If we merge, grae and maddison are apparently big threats according to Pedro. So that is fine with me. Just gotta keep making sure the people I'm closest with stay in.

Kalle N

hey I'm super high rn and I don't remember if I did this already or not so her I go. I hope we merge soon so I can vote people out that have wronged me. can't believe we won the last challenge even after I did basically nothing. ok gtg ily bye

Amy A

So this round has been tough. My Internet issues were definitely the reason my tribe lost and I wanted to quit cos I felt so terrible but I think Najwah and I can do something with my steal a vote. I’ll steal hers and vote James so no one will suspect we’re working together and then go into the merge with our little secret alliance. Bliss 

Olivia A

I’m excited for merge but not sure if we’ll able to get numbers together and have a majority.

Najwah

All I know is that shit is going to hit the fan at this tribal and I'm scared as hell. Only three of us. You'd think it would be easier but it's terrifying. 

Cody A

https://youtu.be/QM4CiTbrjgw

Pedro A

im scared of the merge...scared of the girls allience...scared of me being a target...for being a wild card ...and scared of maddison and graeee.....kill me at this point

[airoasis]

'Good Luck, Father Ted' | Father Ted | Series 1 Episode 1 | Dead Parrot

New Post has been published on https://hititem.kr/good-luck-father-ted-father-ted-series-1-episode-1-dead-parrot/

'Good Luck, Father Ted' | Father Ted | Series 1 Episode 1 | Dead Parrot

Proper that is a Tuesday dealt with let’s take a look at Wednesday no half 7:00 mass i can take that and probably could you take the 8 o’clock at all proper i will be able to take that as good no um the 1/2 6 evening Mass on Sunday night mass too early no predicament i can take as well I just make an observation mornin Ted Barney Google Google there may be a there is some shaving cream simply there no there may be now not that no your gran no on you oh where precisely Ted simply there beneath your ear right here sure and there’s a there’s slightly extra long past no there may be nonetheless only a contact two minutes it can be far and wide the location Oh God how on the planet did all that get there I did not even shave this morning so what are we doing at present Ted confessions and mass and things like that I feel sure to huge things like that it can be nice being a priest is not it Ted god it can be beautiful out oh wait let L you Ted fun lands come to craggy Island it is going to be right here Saturday oh yes this is the fairground thing oh i might no longer a lot curiosity in that type of factor myself to be sincere they’ve acquired a spider baby what a spider baby you realize it’s kind of a freak show factor you comprehend it’s received the body of a spider nevertheless it’s honestly a youngster how is that this a child does it have a nappy on us or something no when does it have the head of a little one no good if it appears like a spider and it does not truely gurgle at your anything how do you understand it’s in reality a little one to hold it in a pram Dugan are you definitely definite about this you’re now not complicated us with a dream your head or whatever no truthfully I saw it on the information truthfully oh oh wait no clearly no did you say it it was a dream yeah have you ever been finding out identical to I informed you Bob Ted i have yeah yeah sorry about that however we should go anyway Ted come on it would be excellent last 12 months I had to go together with the horse-using and it used to be simply great I did not understand you could trip horses well it wasn’t an actual horse Ted adore it it was once this ancient fella with a saddle on him go it have to’ve been about eighty you already know of direction he could not go very speedy like you know I was once form of lashing him with the weapon all could not get a lot of a response out of him you realize and how long have been you up on them i would say it used to be about but an hour so that you were upon an eight-yr-ancient man riding him round and deciding upon him for 60 minutes you realize that picture will stay with me for the leisure of my lifestyles I all said yeah it is satisfactory is not it come on we should go no i don’t think I could take the thrill to be honest believe I just say if there may be something on the television soap a style of jumper is basically but they’re simply going learn the historical diagram good day father Ted Kelly speakme howdy father sorry to disturb you my name is Terry McNamee i am producing the software religion of our fathers for small screen television Aaron at the second doing a designated on priests who work in isolated communities and i was questioning for those who’d be all for speakme to us good that is that’s very um that’s an awfully enjoyable fifth of Our Fathers is my favourite software you already know well you we’re the first individual we suggestion of address that I could come over and we would offer you a small rate in your drawback support a ailing ok nobody no have got to be anybody Ted only a second Oh rapid query how precisely do you get to craggy Island father it would not seem to be on any Maps no what wouldn’t be on any Maps no Terry we’re now not precisely new york now the pleasant way to to find it’s ordinarily to head out from Garlin or relatively north till you see the English boats with the nuclear image on the facet even very nearly the island when they’re dumping the old glow-in-the-dark one factor are there every other monks dwelling there with you our researcher would not mention any person else um good no there isn’t any one else right here i’m going to see what Saturday then i will provide you with a call after I get there I the reply back Ted certainly not activate the television when father Jack’s asleep you know how he is but he is normally asleep sure well any person who served the church as long as he has deserves a leisure simply particularly an honor for us to shield in his old age you recognize yeah look at him dreaming of earlier glories indubitably girls pay attention now we have received a certain deal with in these days it is very kindly volunteered to take him all by means of volleyball practice and he is simply reminded me that it can be very heat at present so there will be no need on your tracksuit tops hi there father Dougal McGuire right here and welcome to this week’s prime of the Pops after which at number 45 this week is father Ted Crilley when I’ve obtained the vigour and the quantity 15 for the 16th week in a row his father Jack Hackett with IMS Sleepy breeze how does that cup shake get on the tv is the tv broken once more father yes we have now an concern manner there may be nothing flawed with that that are not able to be fixed with the visual you understand chortle within the head to park and now then who’s pretty me please mrs.Doyle T sec I find mr. Doyle you need to have a cop i know thanks mrs. Doyle truthfully i would like have a cop are you definite an hour tart no i’m no longer in the mood types all right so like a while but you’re no longer have a drop oh thanks mrs. Owen oh i am satisfactory Noorie they take apart father and significantly no and what do you say to a cup take off cup this cup of tea take off oh gosh there was once a phone name prior from a Terry McNamee all correct who’s that Ted I’ve never heard of him anything to do with there wasn’t at the tv sure he is coming to Vic’s tv yeah good you’d be right here tomorrow or 12 grand yeah that’s good you called someone Ted nonetheless not working you are effortlessly the quality doo-doo-doo-doo better than the entire rest penis god Ted you nervous the life out of me they are doing the ancient pop megastar thing undergo dougela I was once Ted yeah it used to be fine being on television today I suppose I’ve caught the historic television tube guide with the mattress canine get some sleep you do not get overtired do you ever want to get into television you’re unhappy Ted annoy i would not imply to send that form of factor fairly yeah yeah i do not believe you’d be so much just right at it definitely why no longer well you realize you are a bit critical are not you and your eyes are bit crossed yeah they may be a little wonky tag you recognize the cameras can decide upon that up you recognize i’m not cross eyed Dugan you’re a bit of no Ted certain half the time I don’t know if you’re talking to me your father Jack dude why do not you just get some sleep right just must say the ancient prayers our Father who art in heaven hallowed hallowed be thy name Papa do not preach doodle you recognize that you can reward God with sleep flip your head a vegan for a tiring day God there’s tons of ways that you could praise God isn’t that head like that point you instructed me to reward Him by way of you recognize just leaving the room that used to be a just right one sure Ted mmm Ted yes knock-knock who’s there father Dugan McGuire goodnight Doga right here you bit better than others that’s it you made it then I consider so there isn’t a indication that it is craggy Island there is no indicators or whatever it is there a man looking at you with the t-shirt saying I shot junior ahh you are here so what the line could be very dangerous father you’re a giant muffled i am on a portable cellphone you caught me by using shock while you phoned me you know how i am on the toilet so the place will we meet at any place we can get just a few excellent photographs any nearby landmarks no what no there are no landmarks here now Terry no no longer all comprehend although the island itself is a kind of landmark relatively the general rule is if you are heading away from it you are going in the right course correct there’s the area feeling well that sounds good it’s not a discipline fairly nevertheless it has much less rocks in it than most areas father i’ll meet you on the area now how do I get there ask Tom there he’ll aid you out correct father Thanks Holy Mary mom of God content material i’m so sorry it was once just a shaggy dog story try to avoid doing that once more dougela hello idea used to be particularly herself it’s the final thing i need you are proper there Ted anyway it can be time for Jax walk time in your walk father Jack the clips can i convey up the mobile land head he’d love that no he would not take him around the cliffs and this time if you’re going close the edge placed on the brakes he was only simply lucky the final time and you are no longer coming your self i know I suppose i will stay here and pray for a at the same time Oh what are you after Ted i’m not after something dude it is now not unknown for contributors of the clergy to hope every now and then it likes more than to get out the fresh air that’s it now in your go is that bill however man this is given each single whatever once he is out thirty is a first-rate time he is aware of they will not kiss when I’d be half that father what you as much as your self well I suppose i will simply stay here and have a little of an historic pray all correct fill in the power it is to the weekend buyers are reminded that our services are at a reminder of the unavailability I don’t even was once on here hi there fatter hey Tom inform your nuts and did you get them listed below are made it EJ i might like to film a discuss with the island Faust I imply quality correct so I just wait within the field noticed her Farah this time I’ve killed him in newcomer i might have got to talk to about that later i am doing an interview for the television maintain your arms on the perimeters what’s rather cows database you could have a face like a parrot it well is he is got some unfair between us ah no fatherhood good day John Oh Paquito his father your thanks I’ve acquired to satisfy any one now actually i’m going to be interviewed for a tv software really are that’s first-rate you understand father i will kill you outstanding on tv well thank you I say you’ll be greater than a fit for a homosexual Borden or Terri Morgan or any of them give me a couple of weeks to get to their stage I have got to go now i’m trying to track down this film you’ll be able to they usually most often wish to do just a few shut-united statesof master shots and Nadi’s and that such thing we will be late onset get a popularity is the form of Marilyn Monroe variety see you soon don’t bother Ted get them i could not run cheese out of it over here at present come here look at me oh howdy Ken what are you doing right here anyway Ricky was once interested on this form of factor you are speculated to be taking Jack for his stroll well i am are the cliffs had been closed in these days i might kiss be shut doodle hope you are aware of it wasn’t that they had been long past you kissed forgot how could they just disappear corrosion come on off that me straight to the youngsters with you there may be just another cop returns to head with him you are straight house to you right here i might wish to hear to any extent further nonsense each person else is right here do just right you’re a priest you are purported to show some decorum this wasn’t a priest don’t you say that so he advised me one time he doesn’t even think in God take all the credit at head however what the crater demise it is called out considering it was a younger fella killed on it last yr come on i’m sick and worn out York dead appear there’s a fortune-teller come on we will have one go in there do not rest your money on that stuff – we’ll take you on no account comprehend there probably whatever in it it’s rubbish how might any one suppose any of that style of nonsense simply no extra ordinary than that stuff we learned in the cemetery you realize heaven and hell and eternal lifestyles bitch take it severely Ted well you are so two men to take it seriously oh yeah yes having had an everlasting life yes of direction I let you go in you go residence straight after that good i will I promise that every one correct whats up let’s go Ted cuts on one scared off favored i will do it and that you can watch hey there sit you have got to move my palm with silver silver i don’t elevate massive luggage of it around supply me a pound now i’ll interpret one card at a time please I wasn’t concentrating and perhaps it might opt for an extra no no this is a long-established misunderstanding the Grim Reaper doesn’t mean loss of life in a literal sense rather it’s going to imply the loss of life of an ancient culture and the beginning of a brand new one i do know what that is it can be regularly a couple of new lamp i am getting for my bicycle good it’ll not become clear at the subsequent auto that is really weird there’s simplest presupposed to be one in each % hiya Tom it can be as a substitute Crilley round but he’s yeah he is in Dale that is a foul scar you might have acquired there tongue the place did you get that it was a in an argument oh i am hoping you is not going to say anything II did Lester I’ve had worse than that i will weed past anteed that to me appear like a deer faux thank you my father jacket electing some residence it can be virtually 5:00 in time for his ingesting goodbye that is where I acquired this okay Shema Israel has lower back to me come on no father we higher be off come on there you might be father we obtained here at last yet another father’s useless to the arena do you don’t know what’s going on gende nevertheless it’s time Kiran come on yeah you heard from from from the tv well yes we simply asked you a few questions Wow am I going to be on the small screen television good sure we’ll off with a historical past of the island and then transfer on to how lifestyles has converted for the Islanders economically and socially father how would you say the individuals’s religious beliefs right here on craggy Island were littered with the arrival of tv and larger entry most of the time god no they’re speakme to generate great there i’m it’s me appear i’m on the telly no God does he relatively exist I mean little I have no idea i do not even consider in equipped religion spiderbaby it’s got the body of a spider but the mind of a baby it would not fairly chunk you uh on SN gotten older no I are not able to suppose it either i’m on the television yup shaking in the air a baby has been lodged in the tunnel of gods if that if we can have a nurse please to the tunnel of gods thanks a goat and child have now come to be potential together and the North has become involved in the within the instant and an additional Norse is required to unlock the Norse we asked for beforehand thanks you

[batterymonster2021]

'Good Luck, Father Ted' | Father Ted | Series 1 Episode 1 | Dead Parrot

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'Good Luck, Father Ted' | Father Ted | Series 1 Episode 1 | Dead Parrot

Proper that is a Tuesday dealt with let’s take a look at Wednesday no half 7:00 mass i can take that and probably could you take the 8 o’clock at all proper i will be able to take that as good no um the 1/2 6 evening Mass on Sunday night mass too early no predicament i can take as well I just make an observation mornin Ted Barney Google Google there may be a there is some shaving cream simply there no there may be now not that no your gran no on you oh where precisely Ted simply there beneath your ear right here sure and there’s a there’s slightly extra long past no there may be nonetheless only a contact two minutes it can be far and wide the location Oh God how on the planet did all that get there I did not even shave this morning so what are we doing at present Ted confessions and mass and things like that I feel sure to huge things like that it can be nice being a priest is not it Ted god it can be beautiful out oh wait let L you Ted fun lands come to craggy Island it is going to be right here Saturday oh yes this is the fairground thing oh i might no longer a lot curiosity in that type of factor myself to be sincere they’ve acquired a spider baby what a spider baby you realize it’s kind of a freak show factor you comprehend it’s received the body of a spider nevertheless it’s honestly a youngster how is that this a child does it have a nappy on us or something no when does it have the head of a little one no good if it appears like a spider and it does not truely gurgle at your anything how do you understand it’s in reality a little one to hold it in a pram Dugan are you definitely definite about this you’re now not complicated us with a dream your head or whatever no truthfully I saw it on the information truthfully oh oh wait no clearly no did you say it it was a dream yeah have you ever been finding out identical to I informed you Bob Ted i have yeah yeah sorry about that however we should go anyway Ted come on it would be excellent last 12 months I had to go together with the horse-using and it used to be simply great I did not understand you could trip horses well it wasn’t an actual horse Ted adore it it was once this ancient fella with a saddle on him go it have to’ve been about eighty you already know of direction he could not go very speedy like you know I was once form of lashing him with the weapon all could not get a lot of a response out of him you realize and how long have been you up on them i would say it used to be about but an hour so that you were upon an eight-yr-ancient man riding him round and deciding upon him for 60 minutes you realize that picture will stay with me for the leisure of my lifestyles I all said yeah it is satisfactory is not it come on we should go no i don’t think I could take the thrill to be honest believe I just say if there may be something on the television soap a style of jumper is basically but they’re simply going learn the historical diagram good day father Ted Kelly speakme howdy father sorry to disturb you my name is Terry McNamee i am producing the software religion of our fathers for small screen television Aaron at the second doing a designated on priests who work in isolated communities and i was questioning for those who’d be all for speakme to us good that is that’s very um that’s an awfully enjoyable fifth of Our Fathers is my favourite software you already know well you we’re the first individual we suggestion of address that I could come over and we would offer you a small rate in your drawback support a ailing ok nobody no have got to be anybody Ted only a second Oh rapid query how precisely do you get to craggy Island father it would not seem to be on any Maps no what wouldn’t be on any Maps no Terry we’re now not precisely new york now the pleasant way to to find it’s ordinarily to head out from Garlin or relatively north till you see the English boats with the nuclear image on the facet even very nearly the island when they’re dumping the old glow-in-the-dark one factor are there every other monks dwelling there with you our researcher would not mention any person else um good no there isn’t any one else right here i’m going to see what Saturday then i will provide you with a call after I get there I the reply back Ted certainly not activate the television when father Jack’s asleep you know how he is but he is normally asleep sure well any person who served the church as long as he has deserves a leisure simply particularly an honor for us to shield in his old age you recognize yeah look at him dreaming of earlier glories indubitably girls pay attention now we have received a certain deal with in these days it is very kindly volunteered to take him all by means of volleyball practice and he is simply reminded me that it can be very heat at present so there will be no need on your tracksuit tops hi there father Dougal McGuire right here and welcome to this week’s prime of the Pops after which at number 45 this week is father Ted Crilley when I’ve obtained the vigour and the quantity 15 for the 16th week in a row his father Jack Hackett with IMS Sleepy breeze how does that cup shake get on the tv is the tv broken once more father yes we have now an concern manner there may be nothing flawed with that that are not able to be fixed with the visual you understand chortle within the head to park and now then who’s pretty me please mrs.Doyle T sec I find mr. Doyle you need to have a cop i know thanks mrs. Doyle truthfully i would like have a cop are you definite an hour tart no i’m no longer in the mood types all right so like a while but you’re no longer have a drop oh thanks mrs. Owen oh i am satisfactory Noorie they take apart father and significantly no and what do you say to a cup take off cup this cup of tea take off oh gosh there was once a phone name prior from a Terry McNamee all correct who’s that Ted I’ve never heard of him anything to do with there wasn’t at the tv sure he is coming to Vic’s tv yeah good you’d be right here tomorrow or 12 grand yeah that’s good you called someone Ted nonetheless not working you are effortlessly the quality doo-doo-doo-doo better than the entire rest penis god Ted you nervous the life out of me they are doing the ancient pop megastar thing undergo dougela I was once Ted yeah it used to be fine being on television today I suppose I’ve caught the historic television tube guide with the mattress canine get some sleep you do not get overtired do you ever want to get into television you’re unhappy Ted annoy i would not imply to send that form of factor fairly yeah yeah i do not believe you’d be so much just right at it definitely why no longer well you realize you are a bit critical are not you and your eyes are bit crossed yeah they may be a little wonky tag you recognize the cameras can decide upon that up you recognize i’m not cross eyed Dugan you’re a bit of no Ted certain half the time I don’t know if you’re talking to me your father Jack dude why do not you just get some sleep right just must say the ancient prayers our Father who art in heaven hallowed hallowed be thy name Papa do not preach doodle you recognize that you can reward God with sleep flip your head a vegan for a tiring day God there’s tons of ways that you could praise God isn’t that head like that point you instructed me to reward Him by way of you recognize just leaving the room that used to be a just right one sure Ted mmm Ted yes knock-knock who’s there father Dugan McGuire goodnight Doga right here you bit better than others that’s it you made it then I consider so there isn’t a indication that it is craggy Island there is no indicators or whatever it is there a man looking at you with the t-shirt saying I shot junior ahh you are here so what the line could be very dangerous father you’re a giant muffled i am on a portable cellphone you caught me by using shock while you phoned me you know how i am on the toilet so the place will we meet at any place we can get just a few excellent photographs any nearby landmarks no what no there are no landmarks here now Terry no no longer all comprehend although the island itself is a kind of landmark relatively the general rule is if you are heading away from it you are going in the right course correct there’s the area feeling well that sounds good it’s not a discipline fairly nevertheless it has much less rocks in it than most areas father i’ll meet you on the area now how do I get there ask Tom there he’ll aid you out correct father Thanks Holy Mary mom of God content material i’m so sorry it was once just a shaggy dog story try to avoid doing that once more dougela hello idea used to be particularly herself it’s the final thing i need you are proper there Ted anyway it can be time for Jax walk time in your walk father Jack the clips can i convey up the mobile land head he’d love that no he would not take him around the cliffs and this time if you’re going close the edge placed on the brakes he was only simply lucky the final time and you are no longer coming your self i know I suppose i will stay here and pray for a at the same time Oh what are you after Ted i’m not after something dude it is now not unknown for contributors of the clergy to hope every now and then it likes more than to get out the fresh air that’s it now in your go is that bill however man this is given each single whatever once he is out thirty is a first-rate time he is aware of they will not kiss when I’d be half that father what you as much as your self well I suppose i will simply stay here and have a little of an historic pray all correct fill in the power it is to the weekend buyers are reminded that our services are at a reminder of the unavailability I don’t even was once on here hi there fatter hey Tom inform your nuts and did you get them listed below are made it EJ i might like to film a discuss with the island Faust I imply quality correct so I just wait within the field noticed her Farah this time I’ve killed him in newcomer i might have got to talk to about that later i am doing an interview for the television maintain your arms on the perimeters what’s rather cows database you could have a face like a parrot it well is he is got some unfair between us ah no fatherhood good day John Oh Paquito his father your thanks I’ve acquired to satisfy any one now actually i’m going to be interviewed for a tv software really are that’s first-rate you understand father i will kill you outstanding on tv well thank you I say you’ll be greater than a fit for a homosexual Borden or Terri Morgan or any of them give me a couple of weeks to get to their stage I have got to go now i’m trying to track down this film you’ll be able to they usually most often wish to do just a few shut-united statesof master shots and Nadi’s and that such thing we will be late onset get a popularity is the form of Marilyn Monroe variety see you soon don’t bother Ted get them i could not run cheese out of it over here at present come here look at me oh howdy Ken what are you doing right here anyway Ricky was once interested on this form of factor you are speculated to be taking Jack for his stroll well i am are the cliffs had been closed in these days i might kiss be shut doodle hope you are aware of it wasn’t that they had been long past you kissed forgot how could they just disappear corrosion come on off that me straight to the youngsters with you there may be just another cop returns to head with him you are straight house to you right here i might wish to hear to any extent further nonsense each person else is right here do just right you’re a priest you are purported to show some decorum this wasn’t a priest don’t you say that so he advised me one time he doesn’t even think in God take all the credit at head however what the crater demise it is called out considering it was a younger fella killed on it last yr come on i’m sick and worn out York dead appear there’s a fortune-teller come on we will have one go in there do not rest your money on that stuff – we’ll take you on no account comprehend there probably whatever in it it’s rubbish how might any one suppose any of that style of nonsense simply no extra ordinary than that stuff we learned in the cemetery you realize heaven and hell and eternal lifestyles bitch take it severely Ted well you are so two men to take it seriously oh yeah yes having had an everlasting life yes of direction I let you go in you go residence straight after that good i will I promise that every one correct whats up let’s go Ted cuts on one scared off favored i will do it and that you can watch hey there sit you have got to move my palm with silver silver i don’t elevate massive luggage of it around supply me a pound now i’ll interpret one card at a time please I wasn’t concentrating and perhaps it might opt for an extra no no this is a long-established misunderstanding the Grim Reaper doesn’t mean loss of life in a literal sense rather it’s going to imply the loss of life of an ancient culture and the beginning of a brand new one i do know what that is it can be regularly a couple of new lamp i am getting for my bicycle good it’ll not become clear at the subsequent auto that is really weird there’s simplest presupposed to be one in each % hiya Tom it can be as a substitute Crilley round but he’s yeah he is in Dale that is a foul scar you might have acquired there tongue the place did you get that it was a in an argument oh i am hoping you is not going to say anything II did Lester I’ve had worse than that i will weed past anteed that to me appear like a deer faux thank you my father jacket electing some residence it can be virtually 5:00 in time for his ingesting goodbye that is where I acquired this okay Shema Israel has lower back to me come on no father we higher be off come on there you might be father we obtained here at last yet another father’s useless to the arena do you don’t know what’s going on gende nevertheless it’s time Kiran come on yeah you heard from from from the tv well yes we simply asked you a few questions Wow am I going to be on the small screen television good sure we’ll off with a historical past of the island and then transfer on to how lifestyles has converted for the Islanders economically and socially father how would you say the individuals’s religious beliefs right here on craggy Island were littered with the arrival of tv and larger entry most of the time god no they’re speakme to generate great there i’m it’s me appear i’m on the telly no God does he relatively exist I mean little I have no idea i do not even consider in equipped religion spiderbaby it’s got the body of a spider but the mind of a baby it would not fairly chunk you uh on SN gotten older no I are not able to suppose it either i’m on the television yup shaking in the air a baby has been lodged in the tunnel of gods if that if we can have a nurse please to the tunnel of gods thanks a goat and child have now come to be potential together and the North has become involved in the within the instant and an additional Norse is required to unlock the Norse we asked for beforehand thanks you

[jess-oh]

Reflection

hey journal!

i have so much homework to do and i am so unmotivated to do any of it! hahahahahahakghbjskdsfbghjkjdbejfsdkb

hopefully i can finish at least the bulk of my work today so i can just be a hermit tomorrow! and not have to worry about anything! i want to spend spring break being a hermit and i ended up so so so so busy. i thought it was just a few days, no big deal. little did i know that a few days = half my break. on saturday i have a MAST and senior banquet meeting, on Sunday im going out to dinner with Joy... and i am happy to be doing all of these things but it does kind of suck i coudlnt just be a hermit. but...i also kinda did this to myself. in signing up to work over break, in suggesting weekly checkins on Wednesday nights, in deciding to go to the Bible study. And I am really happy I went to all those things. I felt a lot of tension and conflict if I didn’t and couldn’t sleep and I was just so stressed and couldn’t relax or feel at peace until I went. So I did. And I am happy. But I still haven’t actually had time to just rest and do nothing. Which sucks.

Today, I had my meeting with Amanda and P. Josh like every other Thursday and I’ve started coming to terms with a lot. Our meeting was pretty short and I do wish I could’ve spent more time talking and catching up with them than the limited time we did have together. But I’m still glad nonetheless. I think at this point though, I’m just waiting for the summer to come already so I can rest and be with my friends outside of Movement. I am tired of serving and I know that I’m seeing these things pretty selfishly. I’m trying to see how God is fitting into my life instead of how I’m fitting into his. I’m just kinda tired and done at this point. I’ll do what I can and make active efforts to finish strong and prepare for the next school year as best I can but I don’t really want to try anymore. I’ve already tried so much. And I do think things are getting better but it feels like I don’t have enough time to make any meaningful changes now before the school year ends.

Ahhh, this must be how Jason felt. I get it now. Speaking of Jason, it looks like he’s been having a blast in Japan and I’m really happy for him. Honestly, our personalities aren’t compatible at all and it’s a wonder that we are friends at all. I don’t really trust anyone in Movement. I’m always so on guard and on edge with them all and I have had a few real, vulnerable moments with them but as a whole, we never just hangout for the sake of hanging out. Everything is so precise and planned and intentional and honestly, it’s exhausting. I miss not having a care in the world and just going out and singing at the top of my lungs at two in the morning with my friends, just cause. I miss that culture. And it’s been a long time since I was able to have it. I’ve also just been drowning myself in media and music and videos again. And started drinking more soda and eating more bad food as a coping mechanism and in part as a result of addiction. I really can’t turn 21 yet because I will 100% become an alcoholic. I’ve been trying to do all these things and take it upon myself to change my situation and circumstances but I’m really just tired of trying. I’m looking forward to the spring retreat but I also don’t want to just rely on that for everything to get better because there’s no guarantee that it will. I think I’ve been spiritually dry for a while now and neglecting God in my life. I’ve been so consumed by what I can do by my own strength or how to fix things now that I really haven’t been all that prayerful or intentional in my relationship with Him. I just thought i was doing well whenever I resonated with words or lyrics from my worship music but in all honesty, I don’t think I’ve actually been doing that well for a while. I have been trying to be more pro-active in sharing the gospel and being more open about my faith but tbh, I don’t think God has actually been a big factor in my decision making in a while and that needs to change. I’m more changed by hearing about the kind of guy that Paul was and living a life like that than I am of who Jesus is in my life. Or rather, how I can best fit into His plan. Or maybe I’m just overthinking it. Who knows! Regardless, that’s where I’m at right now. I do want to do better. Not just to serve better but because it is what God wants me to do and I owe Him everything. 

I’m just really tired of trying at this point though. I just want to be done with everything. I’m pretty burnt out at this point. I thought spring break would bring me rest but in actuality, I’ve just been busy. 

Sigh.

Getting a break from everyone has been nice but there is still so much left to do. I’m not usually one to procrastinate and yet, here I am. investing so much into church and my personal life has been pretty rough and caused my classes to take a hit. I do want to be a good student and honor God through that bc serving at church isn’t the only way I can serve Him. Sigh. I feel like I always need to be the one that knows what to do and has all the answers when I myself am incredibly lost right now. I just want to rest and not worry about anything. No videos, no music, no media. No nothing. Just rest. Just being prayerful and resting in God and being in His presence and not feeling like I need to do anything. That’s what I want. Really.

Especially recently, I’ve just been trying to speed rush everything bc I feel like my time is so limited. The seniors are graduating soon and so I want to help cater to them as best I can. I’m trying to prepare myself to go Turkey for a year once I graduate and changing the culture in Movement and investing into them as much as I can. I just really haven’t given myself a break in a long time. I’ve been so rapidly trying to change myself and improve the ways in which I serve and my mindset and mentality in everything in really just the past couple weeks that it’s left me feeling pretty exhausted. I didn’t even give myself a proper amount of time to heal and rest after the drive by incident. I just forced myself to get better until I did and left and did what I signed up to do. But i’m just really so tired and burnt out at this point. Yeah, I’m just burnt out! And I need the summer to come already when I don’t have to worry about anything! I’ll have a good internship and be able to learn on the job but won’t have to worry at all about how my actions/performances are impacting or affecting those around me in Movement. I can just breath and relax and not have to do anything until the school year starts up again! And I want that! 

Aaaaaaauuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.

but whatever, i guess. my emotions and thoughts are all out of whack right now but I do think journaling even just what is currently on my mind is helping a lot and helping me to do better again. I’ve had to use so much discernment between being open but not sharing too much and being more chill but not too chill so they still see me as a leader. And it’s exhausting! I just don’t want to have to do anything anymore! Aaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuugh.

But oh well. It’s fine. I just have to keep moving forward and figure out where I can go from here. Thanks for talking with me, journal.

Yours truly,

Jess

[yungxyari]

3am thoughts....

I wanna write how I feel because its eating me up inside and when I try to express myself I get stuck First is first I messed up I wasn’t in the wrong from the beginning my birthday was great and for once I was absolutely happy not a care in the world first time in a long time. With happiness came a funny feeling for me those are never ever good when I say never I mean never bowling didn’t sound so right not after he expressed how tired he was something was off. Tuesday night is a night I’m done reliving I kinda just wished it never happened but since it did my next step is literally acting like it didn’t. Just to let it go After that night I shouldve blocked him but I didn’t I fucking didn’t block him I wanted to talk I wanted to work shit out when you love someone unconditionally shit like this tends to happen.. you just kinda sorta feel sick to your stomach giving up And this is the part where everyone gives in their opinion Why care about him if he doesn’t care about you his actions should show how he feels They probably are right but when you get to know someone you get to know them. And him I knew better then I know myself. Moving on I flipped my anxiety sucks I can’t control it it basically controls me and thats me upmost scariest feeling I have ever felt. I loose all sense of everything and im really going to try to get medication for that it fucking sucks and it basically dragged me to where I’m at the moment. Friday was hard after asking for nothing but the truth he wanted to still protect me and he lied I left work looking for nothing I shouldve went home I shouldve showered I shouldve laid down and once again BLOCKED HIM but I didn’t once again I let the anxiety the anger get the better of me. I really don’t have a valid explanation for any of my actions I swear I don’t and I don’t know what I wanted to accomplish by showing up at publix making a scene for what to drive him away even more. That isn’t the point he tried to check on me but it was already to late I was less then 500 feet from him with my heart beating almost out my chest not knowing my next move.. publix happened shit I’m not proud of another reason to apologize to C since his thing is he wants me to take responsibility.. he did me wrong asf me out of everyone he knows how I am and how I was with him and he took advantage of me of my heart and of my love and he abused it. Here everyone goes saying how can you feel that way at such a young age but me and the kid shared everything it was more of a friendship with the amount of unconditional love I believed we was throwing around… where do I continue Friday was Friday I ended up at my cousins party Lord help me that was a movie hen ciroc and beer pong how did I wake up the next day ask the devil because I don’t know I called him that night very mad at each other he answered on the first ring and I noticed I call he answers first ring second no more after that night. We talked for 21 minutes if I remember right the conversation I can’t tell you what was said but my drunken thoughts and sober words said anything and everything you can imagine. He was a dear the him I knew but better but caring but loving but supprortive things I havent seen in a while it felt good I felt good the call ended when G called me back in and 2 more shots later a bathroom converstaion occurred s/o to my girl A the first person to tell me something that makes sense not the default message I was getting from everyone because fuck him you deserve better really gets played tf out !!!!! that was over the party continued blasé blase “I’m finally in bed” text became a “good morning its work time “ text nothing too deep happened Saturday just the usual mix of emotions and feeling “I wish you were here right now” that broke my heart to pieces was the least of my worries. Saturday wasn’t bad and Sunday either I got an “I miss you” which made me feel great because fuckkkk finally I can confirm he feels the same Side note saturday I asked to b his first kiss of the year might not count for anything but it was important to me Sunday is where it began to fall not going into detail the day was good afternoon was good 7-9 was good I was out at first ignoring him but the kid just has a damn way of hoping back into my system. Spoke about fucking donuts which I was going to get delivered to him we left it at he’s taking a nap and that was it Till I got the feeling The feeling that fucks me over and shuts the reasonable part of my brain off. After this the outcome I lost my best friend I lost my keys I lost my self respect I lost my faith and hope and gained a charge Sunday Night was an eye opener well I thought it was Monday I woke up different it was good then sucked then sucked again it was great and at the end sucked even more at the end of this I stressed my mom out more then she is  and lost his trust and everything Tuesday nothing really to say and Wednesday which is today but it isn’t considering its 3 am was a lot.

It went a little of both good and bad. More bad then good ofc “your picture is on my mirror but I’m going to have to take it off soon” As young as I may b I know, I know the feeling you get when you just know and I just know its kid having someone say they saw a future with u even at 17 maybe not now Mayb in 5 years maybe in 55 but that means a lot I lost him but I didn’t. And thats all ill say about it it ended sad and I could hear in his voice I’m not the only one hurting he just sucks at even showing this emotion do u love me….the reply was given basically then I love you it hasn’t sounded that way in never and click. The little details are out but this is basically what I can think of now it was about 30 minutes it was a lot.. The Instagram pictures are gone. And d is posted. I’m not even sure if giving an opinion on this is ok but b basically It feels empty I deleted the February picture and kept it moving… I started this at 2:58 am and its 3:40 and I’m still sitting here with a million and one things on my mind. School is in 4 days and I still need a week tomorrow I’m asking my mom I really need it. I need anxiety help and I need weight help just the month of December I lost 4 pounds shit is real its no longer a joke

Idk if I want help or I wanna give up, cutting ur self is super middle school, and pills are a game… tonight I’m feeling like I’m tired I’m tired of it all I don’t wanna deal with anything going on anymore and I say this with my eyes getting teary eyed I’m fucking tired honest to the god I don’t even know if belive In I’m fucking tired I wanna die I’m making my moms life harder and she already has her own shit I’m not happy I’m not motivated ion wanna do this shit anymore I’m fucking tired still havent blocked him yo sitting here thinking of what to do. Will writing it then reading it make it better?? Pills an option but the what ifs still sit. If I try it and nothing happens I’m forcing myself to keep it pushing but if anything at all happens then it was the right thing I’m sad I’m not alone but it feels like it I gotta work on things so many damn things I mean here goes nothing I think I got 2 benadryls Advil and other shit ill see what I pull out the bag for the record it was nobody fault but mine I’m just fucking tired drained and ready to give up I love u all so much always checking making sure I’m staright. I gone make this future happen if I don’t make this happen. And I dont know how u end this.. goodnight xo 54 minutes of pure feellings and my head is still going on at it.

update I woke up the next morning with a huge headache and disappointed