#god do damn better girl | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

transcendentalmaggot · 2 years ago

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When I was 26, I contracted sepsis twice within an 18 month period due to kidney infections from certain particularities of my birth defects and the many surgeries I’ve had my lifetime. I had overextended myself when I already felt sick and foolishly went on a weekend vacation with my friends. By Tuesday, I was unable to lower even a persistent fever of 102 and went to see my PCP, who immediately wanted to call me an ambulance as my heart rate was extremely high and I could barely exist. In my infinite and foolhardy wisdom, more like stubbornness about being stuck with a bill for thousands of dollars, convinced him to let him drive me immediately to the ER. When I entered, I lost my breath and passed out before being immediately whisked into the monitoring room for cardiac issues. My EKG was awful - low blood pressure, high fever, high heart rate, muscle weakness and fatigue… all signs of sepsis. Of course because I was honest with them about my weekend debauchery. They immediately assumed I was having a reaction to cocaine use.. from an event that happened two days prior. I’ve done cocaine exactly one time in my life in my early twenties and I have no interest in using it again. I was thankfully treated with antiobiotics but experienced the worst full body pain I can possibly imagine. My high potassium levels from acute kidney failure caused my muscles to contract but did not allow them to relax. I shook constantly, full body shivering as if submerged in ice water. Even once my kidney infection was diagnosed, they still discharged me with a diagnosis of anticholinergic syndrome, or an overdose of OTC allergy medicine. It’s rare and would not have caused my symptoms but they were dead set on it having to do with drugs despite testing me extensively. When I went for my follow up with a nephrologist I greatly admire she immediately had that diagnosis removed from my records somehow since there was no evidence for that conclusion. They spent almost $600 drug testing me for everything you can possibly imagine. Even though the tests proved I had spoken the truth, I still felt that giant well of shame.

Anyway, my friends I went on vacation with asked how I was doing since I said I might go to the ER and this picture was my only response until I re-emerged several weeks later.

#personal #I am the worst fucking friend #god do damn better girl

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cirrus-draws · 5 months ago

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nearl utena paletteswap. is this anything

......wait, hold on...

#arknights #revolutionary girl utena #utena #tenjou utena #nearl #margaret nearl #arknights edit #...yeah i guess i'll tag the other guys too #hatsune miku #kagamine rin #megurine luka #i do currently think the nearl-utena similarities are mostly surface-level. if anything‚ i think she's closer to anthy #(even though nearl's story does not read to me as one that's consciously about misogyny or abuse or even gender‚ really)#to me‚ the most compelling part of nearl's character is the way she sacrifices her personhood to become a symbol of liberation #she is whatever the people want her to be; she is the vessel for their hope‚ their grief‚ their hate. she will burn herself alive for them #margaret nearl is dead by her own hand; what has taken her place is not a human being. it is the future. it is the city. it is the light #and unlike anthy‚ she chose this for herself. she welcomes dehumanization if it means that others might live a better life #i wonder‚ in those moments when she takes off her armor‚ if she ever resents it; if she ever thinks she made the wrong choice #... sorry for the downer notes on a silly post god damn. these horses have done something to my brain

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scopophobia-polaris · 1 year ago

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Honestly could we throw out the idea that totk's story issue is that it isn't consistent with the lore of the older games but instead drops intresting world building from botw because it might have gotten actually dark

#seriously eveeyone keeps up bring up the triforce not being the same like the older games instead of HEY why DOES the royal family just.....#have it #like all of it #and was the sheikah tech from the last game that functions the same was as light arrows/the biden blast was uh #how do i put this #how did they weaponize lightmagic in robots and does this all tie in with the “banishment” thing #or idk dropped point from botw zelda's fucking chracter arc #i know it ended with LOOOK!!!! YOU FUCKED UP BY DOING WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS RIGHT #But damn they could of just not done that shit in totk making her just the #what was jt #idk man they just keep taking away her agency #man and it sucks cuz the dragon is so cool but mf shes forced to do it what she gonna do stay in the past and DIE?#idk man it just all feels hasty. makes me sad #and it sucks cuz a lot of shit shit is really cool and intresting but man idk i may become a botw zelda deserved a better weiter for her #becuase girl she needs a break. not saying chracters cant go through hardship #but there is something so nasty about the framing of youll never be anything but eveey past princess zelda trope and nothing more #instead of a crystal she turns into a dragon like guys this is the same as skyward sword but idk man is it werd to say #when Hylia does it aginst a thing that wants to steal the god triangles and is also a god its like yeah you had no other choice #how the fuck did one fuckass stone make ganondorf into a god like being you would think that like #mannwhy are the stones THAT powerful and why werent the other bitches able to take them down what because #did #did rauru give sonia the equivalent of the one ring at their wedding hey wait a fuck #sorry for all my spelling mistakes but what the fuck man

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 1 year ago

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Comte Election Story, 6th Anniversary Event (JPN 2023)

I managed to get Comte's collection story during the 6th year anniversary event in the JPN version of the game. As usual, my translation skills are rudimentary at best, so this is just a rough/general sense of the contents. Rest of the translation is below the cut:

Sweet and lovely, our everyday life is irreplaceable. After becoming a vampire, I’ve lived with him forever like this. I seek out more and more of the man I love than anyone else--

Comte: Good morning, MC. You’re up very early today.

I went down to the dining room a few hours before dawn--only to find Comte nursing a teacup gracefully at one end of the table.

MC: Good morning. I managed to wake up somehow…how about you?

Comte: Actually, I just got back.

When I asked, he told me that the host of the party started talking to him all night, and they didn’t part ways until after midnight.

Comte: I was going to finish this cup of tea to unwind, and then try to rest til noon.

He runs a hand through his freshly washed hair and brings the cup to his mouth in a series of elegant gestures that makes me fall in love with him all over again. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been up all night, but my heart readily starts beating faster.

Even Comte seems to notice my reaction…

Comte: …looking at me like that, are you seducing me?

Comte's eyes narrowed mischievously and he left his cup behind to approach me. A beautiful beast gazed at me as if to take aim at his prey, and he drew me in with supple hands.

MC: I didn’t intend it that way but…it’s true that I'm captivated. Your damp hair and lovely gestures are so sexy that I’m at a loss…

Comte: Saying such a thing…you’re a naughty woman, MC. Even though I tried to quell my ardor with a cold shower and hot tea...I’m glad to hear it, even though I’m far from calm.

When I raised my head--having looked down in bashful embarrassment--I can see burgeoning in Comte’s eyes an indisputable, feverish desire…

MC: Ah, mm…

His soft lips playfully brushed against the nape of my neck.

Comte: No one else would be awake at this hour…though we could be interrupted any moment. Make sure to keep your voice down.

He chuckled a little before a hot sigh caressed my skin, dropping kisses one after another. He circled around the usual place he’d sink his fangs into me, and every brush of his lips made heat gather low in my body…

MC: So impatient…Abel…

Comte: …I’ve been waiting for you to give it to me

The corners of his lips lifted a little, before he buried his fangs into my neck.

MC: Mn, ah…aaaahh…

Comte: I love you so much...and whenever we aren't together, I’m starved of you. We were miles apart all night yesterday. I’ll show you just how much I missed you.

His voice--half-intoxicated with the ecstasy of my blood--was sweet and husky with his desire.

Comte: Before you, I’m always a love-starved beast.

As I gaze into those eyes burning with emotion, an electric sensation tingles down my spine.

(Ah, I’m just the same. It’s not only my heart, my body is always seeking you out too.)

MC: Me too…all day and night, I’m always thinking about you…

Comte: --Come here. Take as much of me as you want

At his encouragement and incitement, I sink my fangs into him.

MC: ah, ha…

Pleasure washes over me in an endless cascade, every sensation in my body heightened and sharp. I clenched my hands tighter through his wet hair, and dug my fangs into him greedily to devour that wellspring of ecstasy.

Comte: I'm happy to be able to share love with you like this, as a vampire.

Like drops of water moistening desiccated earth, every crimson drop fills us to the brim--

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp comte #ikevamp mc #comte propaganda #if you can't already tell from the contents of this one--i straight up died after reading it #THE IMPLICATIONS. FOAMING AT THE MOUTH.#the way they're both dancing around it. MC trying to be strong and endure properly (girl same) and. comte.#THE WAY COMTE BASICALLY STARTS SHAKING HIS ASS LIKE ONE OF THOSE BIRDS OF PARADISE. I AM UNWELL (AND ECSTATIC).#THE WAY HE WANTS HER TO WANT HIM AS INTENSELY/DESPERATELY AS HE DOES HER. THE WAY HE RELISHES HER BITING HIM HARD.#IM NEVER GONNA RECOVER FROM THIS ONE #ive legit just been that ace attorney meme with phoenix holding his head in his hands for DAYS #dare i even mention 'make sure to keep your voice down.' SIR. SIR ARE YOU SRS RN #man the way in purple moon event he was like 'oh nooooo haha no hank pank in public where we might get caught that's too inappropriate~ owo #I SEE YOU ABEL. I SEE YOU MONSIEUR LE COMTE DE SAINT GERMAIN.#I SEE THAT U SIT UPON A THRONE OF L I E S #i hope whoever writes comte as unhinged as possible over at jpn cybird gets a god damn raise #i have never in my life been so directly catered to in one chara i swear #'loved-starved beast' ILL DO YOU ONE BETTER COMTE JUST LET ME IN. LET ME IIIIIIIIN!!!!!!#straight up ive said it before and ill say it again #that's my emotional support softcore yan meow meow golden retriever #every event im like 'hope this doesn't awaken anything inside me.' and then immediately its just 'failed step one.'#although all jokes aside i do find it endlessly fascinating about the purebloods how like #while they don't experience as much bloodlust there is this acute sense of biting as a vital expression of romantic interest and/or claim #i dont think its a throwaway line that comte says at the end--id actually argue a lot of his desire for intimacy when she's human (cont.)->#is because he feels a level of insecurity in his connection to her caused by the lack of shared/reciprocated biting #you know now that has me wondering if that's part of why other purebloods frown so heavily upon the idea of a pureblood/human couple #basically because they can't fulfill the most basic tenet of what it means to be coupled in that community's perception #yeesh ikevamp really went 'welcome to normative vampire politics' and im like 'I Am So Normal About This. (lie + analyzes)'

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itspileofgoodthings · 3 months ago

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when will Catholic Instagram influencers realize they can’t “sis you are infinitely worthy” their way out of everything

#laksksksksjsjsj so sorry I’m back on my criticizing the Catholic social media influencer culture again #but damn do they ever let a thought breathe and exist for one second #(Anne Marie thecatholichypewoman don’t listen to this you’ll make a reel about letting our thoughts just ✨breathe✨ sometimes)#but like actually. the reels are turning cannibalistic #every thought and half-emotion is endlessly dissected to point to the Great Conclusion #and it’s like girl. yes God loves us just as we are. flaws and all.#but when you’ve said it once why are you not just repeating it to yourself as needed and/or saying it to your friends #WHEN APPROPRIATE #why are you trying to teach at every opportunity #as someone also cursed with the desire to teach you know where that instinct belongs????#A CLASSROOM #as my siblings remind me daily #anyway like. sorry it is so upsetting to me because I think a lot of hearts are in the right place!#though where money is involved I WILL be cynical #but also like. you can’t make the pain go away through endless processing/rationalizing #yes God speaks in the silence. so let Him speak! why are we trying to speak for Him at every opportunity #ANYWAY GO TO BED MARIA CHALLENGE #I am doing what they’re doing BUT TO THEM SO It’s NO BETTER BUT——-#S TILL #when will they REST

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zouisalmightie · 2 months ago

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sometimes i am put in situations that only could happen on tv but you can’t make this up

sonon wednesday my coworker called me during my prep period and was like hey can you come to my room really quick. and that’s normal like 1 im department lead so if they need something i told them to hmu and i got them 2. we’re friends so if you have to pee well fall each other to cover. so im like yeah sure what do you need. and this bitch goes [name of student i hate] keeps saying the n word with the hard er and i bet him he wouldn’t say that to a black persons face so can you come to my room to prove a point’ and she’s like laughing as she says this. with her whole class there like it’s some sort of joke; when she’s acting like she’s shaming this child. and like…. what the actual fuck. mind you, this kids that i hate HAS called me the n word with the hard er before my coworker KNOWS this because we all went out drinking afterward and i cried cuz i was so angry. so I was like what the fuck no and hung up on her. then like 30 mins later she texts me and says “that was such a silly call! i didn’t actually expect you to come lmaoooo. i just like to fluster them when they do things like that” and i didn’t respond and haven’t spoken to her since.

and we are in a bunch of group chats so i left the chats that aren’t work specific and blocked her number and blocked her on ig. and i don’t say anything to anyone at work cuz im grown and i can stop being friends with people without making it an announcement. and so today she texts one of our other coworkers that ive been friends with for almost 5 years now, like omg have you talked to asyah i think she blocked me on ig and idk what i could have done to deserve this it just makes me so sad cuz ive had people just stop being my friend for no reason before and i have abandonment issues please ask her if i did anything wrong. and so my friend came up to me like girl wtf and so i told her what happened and my friend was like this is the last straw for me she’s been saying fucked up shit for a while and i didn’t want to rock the boat but im tired of her.

and then my coworker texted one of my OTHER work friends like omg woe is me everyone is being so mean to me cue white woman tears™️ and im like…. i would have NEVER asked you to be in a position like this. when students do antisemitic things i stop that shit right then and there and never tell you about it because that’s harmful to you! and i thought we were friends i would never put you in a place of harm but you have the nerve to call me and ask me if i want a child to call me a nigger to my face? you laugh while you say it, then send me some fucked up not apology and then when im not fucking with your ass you drag my friends into your pity party? bitch fucking CHOKE.

i was just going to ignore her and leave it as it is but now she’s trying to play the victim like im the one in the wrong here. like im so mad! ive been mad since my homegirl came and told me what she texted her. im going to go to my union rep and let her know what happened too before this girl tries to tell the whole school im bullying her no one would believe her cuz ive been there for 6 years and have no problems with no one but i don’t like people being in my business and would rather get ahead of this but my GOD.

#like you aren’t deserved any explaining if you cannot understand the harm you did im not going to explain it to you #im one of 3 black people fhat work at that school and ive told you how much it bothers me when the nonblack kids #just throw nigga around and you have the audacity to ask me if I want to hear a child say nigger?? like how is that even a punishment to the #child? you ask would you want your mom to hear you say that would you say that in front of your grandma etc #if we are trying to show them that they shouldn’t be saying words that’s what I do when they cuss #not call up one of the few people on campus that have had that word used as a weapon against them if they’d like a 12 year old to call them #that to their face like what the actual fuck #im so MAD ive been mad for 3 days now and now another coworker texted me like what’s #going on with you and alyssa she said you blocked her like???? girl what #why are you asking the whole damns school why I blocked you why are you trying to center yourself when you can clearly see the last time #I spoke to you was when you said what the fuck you said like she brags about how she has a degree in women gender and ethnic studies #but girl throw that paper away cuz you didn’t learn shit #in which I rant #I feel better now that last text was gonna have he calling her phone and calling her everything but a child of god #cannot let these people take me out of my character #these people being my coworkers like sick and also tired!

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hauntingblue · 3 months ago

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Castlevania is interesting but tell my why we get three episodes of internal conflict in the dracula castle (good) while the main characters are on a library and do fuck all. Well they have three scenes of relationship building that are supposed to mean something when they come out but they are so little and superficial imo

#and why the hell was season 1 four episodes #alucard and trevor hating each other is understandable but the resolution is fuck all and do not get me started on sypha and trevor #or sypha and alcuard. also sypha talks like she is supposed to reveal their inner workings and thats so bad.....#trevor and alucard are teens stuck in men bodies so they dont get along ok. can i know why....#also they were laughing and joking in gresit so what happened all of the sudden. the library is no excuse bc alucard knew who trevor was #idk man. its such a nothing burger. sypha and trevor relationship comes out of thin air wdym youre the best. since when are you being honest #am i going to blame this on a short episode count and also short episodes. yeah maybe. plague upon the earth #but them stuck in the library for three episodes and doing fuck all is just.... why #also dracula your war council is WHACK #get better fighters what is thus #also why is alucard a wolf. and hus flying sword. i an sure it is explained in the games but hello can i know why #why are we fighting in the study....#you know maybe i dont care bc alucard killing his father was very good. wish it made me care about trevor or sypha #and the dialogue wasnt so cringe sometimes #i respect sypha's two boyfriends grind i do. by god she will make them get along #wished i cared more.....#sypha telling them how they have grown as characters.... stop.....#hector has been kept as a pet noooo.....#not his face carmilla.... thats his biggest asset....#girl are you making marriage bows on the wagon after a week??? girl..... did he suddenly stop smelling like piss bc he sure didnt bathe #dont you worry ablut feeling lonely alucard im on my way.... if you will have me bc i am not sure about that yet but i will try alas #that last cry was just a little treat bc damn #you know alucard and dracula are the thing here and they dont even talk until the end.... travis and sypha on the other hand....#talking tag #watching castlevania

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the-valiant-valkyrie · 1 year ago

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that thing she does

#dontstarvetogether #dst wigfrid #nah i KNOW her spine is aching. baby girl stop bending over like that #theres gotta be a better way to hold a spear i think #or who knows maybe not. maybe her back suffers and she simply has no choice #sorry only partially related. do you think any of the other survivors know how to give a good massage?? like #do you think nona could give a good massage? GOD. i would kill for that i think #the whole damn group needs their muscles loosened ten times over i think. someone needs to fix them #wigfrid dst

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izzyspussy · 3 months ago

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why are they laughing at him as he gets straight up killed??? he doesn't deserve this! he's a sweet kid at heart! he literally just needs one (1) real friend!!

#jack facts #willow and xander and tara all got that exact type of chance and you could argue the same is true for cordelia and anya!#and why don't we just not even start in on angel #like jonathan went from attempted suicide to so grateful for one moment of attention he created a whole award to give about it #to IN ONE YEAR becoming so powerful a witch he seamlessly altered the perception of the entire population of the world #without any adverse effects to himself and only the one (1) flaw that is inherent to the spell he used #to all but instantly giving up that power when he realized it posed danger (that he understood) to people #to feeling genuine remorse for doing that even tho he needed it explained to him why they were so upset #and making every apparent effort to learn that with humility and offer whatever wisdom he could in return #to... this.#like why tf didn't anybody say hey man are you doing alright after being suicidal?#hey man the spell you did was wrong but that doesn't mean you can't do magic anymore why don't we meet up sometimes and study together #or better yet he could have mcfuckin joined the coven god damn #like they went from witch being a relatively gender neutral combo of innate talent and learned skill in early seasons #to now we're supposed to forget the boy willow and amy did spells with in hs + the fact that giles himself was in an all male coven #and even believe that only Special Girls like willow and tara can do any significant amount of real magic at all #why on earth is willow the biggest witch of ever and started out floating pencils and then having a whole plotline #about learning to use her power ethically and control herself and practice temperance and etc #AND anya gets to be a good guy even though she has to be taught about ethics and consent and compassion and all that too #but jonathan's thing is being soul crushingly lonely and having no self esteem but being incredibly sweet once given the time of day #and is instead relegated to two bit loser villain?#why because he's the Actually Uncool type of unpopular instead of the Too Smart And Nice To Be Popular type of unpopular?#makes me sick he literally just needs a friend. just one genuine friend who cares about him personally. that's all.#and it's not like they're doing a ''this is what happens to vulnerable kids when no one cares about them!'' thing which would be different #no they're just like lol he's unpopular like our protags but he's also short with a nasally voice! which means he's bad!#once again i swearrrrr i'm not doing armchair psych on a creator based on the content of their work #please i swearrrrrrrrrrrr i'm not doing that i prommy i know it doesn't work that wayyy i knowwwww #don't worry about ittt i'm so totally definitely not doing that at allllll #anyway

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trees-to-meet-you · 11 months ago

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I forgot that the first episode Stinky appeared in was the one introducing the invisible girl. I’m going to skewer him.

#i dont remember him being as bad later but like #what an introduction. bullying an abused girl. what the goddamn fuck stinky.#im going to kill him.#and the next episode too where he fucking makes ninny think he might be kind then TRAPS HER IN ORDER TO MAKE HER INVISIBLE AGAIN #this is his lowest. but god damn is it low.#actually i don’t even know i never actually finished watching the whole series and haven’t read the books or anything #this had fucking better be his lowest #moomins #stinky moomins #how tf do i tag him anyway

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a-smol-homo · 1 year ago

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absolutely loving swtor’s different class stories. this is a goldmine for oc lore…

have i finished the game? not even close!

have i made 6 characters already regardless? of course i did!

#made a sith operative today and its soo fun #threw it back at some dude so he’d leave me alone #what a champ this one’s turning out to be #as someone who plays and loves ffxiv #swtor did a better job imo like these are so good #the diff classes in ffxiv feel so barren until hw lmao #i love arr but shes soooo boring sometimes man #swtor is really doing something for me #ive held off on subbing for now but damn am i tempted…#i did buy togruta and twi’lek races tho bc i Had To #swtor #rambles #would like to draw my girls sometime… but god am i shit at drawing lately #maybe itll come to me soon. hopefully.

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shirogane-oushirou · 6 months ago

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finished two ren pics yesterday that i'd been sitting on for a while, started TWO craft projects today (making a cheap DIY bobbin lace bolster pillow + making a ren doll (or two???)) AAAAAND i just found a program that lets me use my ipad as a tablet for my laptop and bought CSP 3.0 on sale. >:333333c Beware.

#might be getting a little boost of nervous energy bc the procedure i said had been cancelled is BACK ON BABEY #so i'm trying to prep myself for the 'recovery period' (it's a routine procedure - i'm just doing it for the first time #and apparently if you have autoimmune issues recovery can take WAY longer and is worse #whereas a healthy person needs no recovery time lol. god i wish that were me. anyway.).#like. tummy hurty yeowch but god DAMN i have a little ren to hold and cuddle and kiss etc etc i'm making pretty lace etc etc #and csp + ipad means i don't have to worry about the nausea i get sitting upright at my desk >:3c and i can do WAAY more on CSP #than on procreate. god. i can make proper outlines. i can use better brushes. I CAN USE MORE LAYERS. oughhhh can u imagine.#maybe i can finally start to explore using l2d??? see if i like it??? l2d ren... l2d fursona... l2d oushirou... playing w my touys...#1 step closer to vtuber arc... now i just need fiber speeds JANSSkjDN girl i'm so mad the neighborhood next to us has fiber #but we don't. we're stuck at 25 down 5 up. crying sobbing screaming. want 2 strim art......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]

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pc-98s · 1 year ago

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hey nobody told me that myGO is doing some wild spoken word art rock shit

#THE FIRST SINGLE WAS JUST JPOP THEY FAKED ME OUT SO HARD #im finally watching mygo anime because my ass has covid and nothing better to do #and god DAMN those girls can emotion #bandori

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pebblezone · 2 years ago

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this Tylenol ain’t shit w