#god Im really worried about this rn
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Yo what the fuck
The Florida Senate passed a bill that would ban Chinese immigrants from purchasing any property in the state. It was passed to the State Affairs Committee last week (4/12/2033) and I cannot find it on the headlines in any major news source anywhere:
https://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2023/1355/?Tab=BillHistory
This is really bad.
If this passes and gets turned to law, it will become effective July 1st this year. If this passes, it's not just going to be the Chinese who'll get hurt; everyone in the asian community is going to suffer from way harsher racism.
Information about what you can do to help can be found here, but I'll copy-paste a small blurb of it here:
https://www.ocpa-usa.org/urgentaction
How can you help?
Make a call to the State Affairs Committee with phone number list below. (*List with a phone call script on what you can say will be in the link to aid you!)
Sign the petition to STOP Senate Bill 264 & House Bill 1355! Say no to discrimination! Sign the petition -https://chng.it/WcTZBqQvZd (The petition probably won't sway these people, but it's something)
Attend State Affairs Committee hearing and have your voice heard!
Date/Time: Wed April 19, 7:30 am
Address: 513 The Capitol 402 South Monroe Street Tallahassee, FL 32399-1300
Contact: Susan ([email protected])
#news#2023#jesus fucking christ#this shit was so quiet and sneaky#NO ONE talked about it or knew about it#thats rotten#god Im really worried about this rn#i know a lot of my followers probably dont even live in florida#but it would mean a lot if you guys can signal boost this
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*guy who hasn’t posted in 8 weeks voice* um. hi for the love of god hello
#i miss you i miss you i miss you imwgonna throw up#i went to absentee mutual island and it was full of mirrors 😔#god do you guys even laugh at that meme anymore ive been gone so long#probably but still#just wanted to pop in and say im okay! but going through a really bad depressive episode and i feel like all my energy is going toward#the baseline obligations of my job and surviving. i don’t want tumblr to feel like an obligation but sadly that’s where im at rn#but i don’t want you to worry about me! im okay!!!#and if you’ve sent me a message/ask well. i love you dearly and im so sorry i don’t have the spoons to interact rn#but i’ll be back as soon as i can! im moving soon and taking time off at the end of the month for a trip#ily guys so much and i hope everything’s been good <3 mwah mwah#side note ive only been gone for 2 months why does tumblr look completely different hello
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LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!
#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭#MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too???#NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!!#yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything...#i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE????#is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1070#i am smiling so hard rn. contagious#also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success....#THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying#you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it#hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy#THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!!#the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE#this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!!#they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????!#episode 1071#momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!!#the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this...#we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members#law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses..#nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!!#wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk#THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING#FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!!#NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!!#episode 1072
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#i feel like my life is falling apart rn and i know that a good bit of that is amplified by way of being 19 but it really is bad rn#i got a job at the end of summer and i absolutely love it but my grades at school have been suffering really really bad bc i just dont have#the energy after working weekends and im failing like 3 classes and for my scholarship i have to keep at least a B and 2 of the classes i#think i can fix but im probably gonna have to pull out of one of them which freaks me tf out bc my dad pays the tuition that isnt covered by#my scholarship and hes gonna be so disappointed and im really fucking bad at asking for help especially from him bc it makes me feel like a#little kid and so ive been lying to him about my grades for weeks so now it feels like its too late to ask for help and even once i email my#advisor emailing her takes so much out of ke that i dont even have the energy to meet with her so its a useless endevor but i also know that#the only way to fix this is to get help and idk what im doing im just a kid and god i wish i could flash forward to 20 years from now when#this shit wont matter and ill have things relatively figured out and the stuff i dont im not too worried about and fucking hell being 19#sucks so much
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i love my french prof soo much btw. have i mentioned this.
#she's so good. goddddd. ok. so i don't have to worry massively about the civ paper. apparently i have a presentation due thursday.#ceramics discussion due tomorrow and also oh god oh Fuck i have to have my next project proposal done to present tomorrow morning at. not#8 actually i have something else due at 8am#but as much as ive though about it i have not written Anything and there's a sketchbook page quota i have to meet for that also LMFAO#not to mention the sculpture that was due thursday that she knows im finishing late. but god i need to finish that too.#and also i haven't had a full night of sleep in over a week maybe? probably. i don't really remember much other than grinding out that#print rn. and also the redacted. god. guh. okay. buckling down even though my brain is slush... save me edIT discography....#txt
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i always appreciate anons but im not gonna talk about dan's childhood any more bc im way too emotionally fragile for that shit now 😭
#just found out my ex's dad died#this is the guy i was with for a decade. lotta feelings rn#i took way too long to text him and ask if he's okay because i didnt know what to say and i think i still said the wrong thing#because he didnt reply. he went offline as i was texting him#i feel so helpless rn i just wanna give him a hug so bad and make sure he's okay#i fully respect that he doesnt wanna talk rn and im not gonna push the issue but god#this is so complicated and it sucks so bad for so many reasons idk#part of me wants to text his mum too bc i love her and im worried about her but idk if that would be crossing a boundary#i hate it here#i never knew his dad very well but im feeling really sad about him dying as well like this is so complicated .
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mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset
#oohoohoo the self destructive ''well maybe I'll just push myself bc im going to be tired either way'' sure was a bad choice!#''lol who cares anymore im sick of being fatigued and im probably just making it up'' you are a fucking idiot god bless your soul#and yet.... the urge to Make It Worse is still so strong.... gee i sure do love p.mdd!#honest to god im so fucking frustrated w this brain lately#been trying to hide any sharps away from myself because I've just been so wildly careening into self destructive tendencies#and im sick of trying to like. control myself. i am my own keeper and im fucking sick of it gjfkdl#im trying so fucking hard to hold it together and keep myself on the right path but im really just incredibly tired#it feels like im trying to wrestle a knife out of a toddler's hand#and then the toddler cries and tantrums bc they wanted the knife#and i have nothing to give them to distract them. except im also the toddler.#idk how long i can keep this up for bc im ALSO managing other ppls emotions and baggage and shit at the centre#and over text. mainly that one person who i wish would just fucking leave me alone#but her grandma is literally on her deathbed so I can't rly try learning how to be firm rn#bc if i try to be firm i worry i will end up being a dick and i dont want to do that while she's struggling w pre-emptive grief#i don't know !!! im just so goddamn exhausted and struggling#and the world seems very cruel and terrifying and im honestly convinced im never going to find a way to exist peacefully in it#like im always going to be scared and struggle to trust ppl and struggle to socialize and feel safe anywhere#im going to be so honest. i wish i had One friend irl fhfkdl like. i think that would help a lot of my issues#to have someone i care about and respect and who actually cares about AND respects me back#and who i could just. be around. exist in the same vicinity. and not feel so scared and unsafe#a bit of a break from those constant feelings while not being isolated#who i could do activities with ???#thats actually so hard for me to imagine ever having ffhdjlsl its been so many years since I've had any semblance of that#it doesn't feel like im ever going to have that again :') it feels so impossible. pipe dream. unrealistic and unattainable#okay i need to shut up fhdksl sorry for being so insane on here every day jfc#one of these days i hope i will be genuinely stable for like... longer than a day fhfkdl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#self harm mention
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God, what even is my "reasons this hasn't been updated in 4 and a half months" list anymore hfkshdj
I think we're at: wrote a smut fic, got a new girlfriend, got into bg3, quit my job I had for 8 years, my dad fucking died, got Throat Bleeding Disease, got into crochet, started watching way too much anime, got into Stardew Valley again...
🤔🤔🤔🤔 things sure have been busy, huh?
#speculation nation#One of these 🎵 is not like the others 🎵#well actually 2 of them are negative. but throat bleeding disease was just awful and sucky for like 2 weeks#ONE of these was a permanent and incredibly life changing event that left me traumatized in its abruptness!#im planning on expanding on it a little bit in my end notes. the above list is what im planning for my opening notes.#i know i dont owe anyone an explanation on why it's been so long. but. idk#i just wanna be upfront about it ykno? for people who may have been worried about me and all#also i kind of snapped at someone in the comments of the most recent chapter#after they just commented 'please update' & i was like 'my dad just fucking died so sorry if im not exactly quick rn'#& i feel a little bit bad for that lol. i mean their comment Was inconsiderate. but i doubt they meant anything bad by it.#but yea idk ITNL has just happened to be spanning the hardest year of my life.#from the end of may up until now. god i really hope the Year Of Death is over now.#and i hope this is the last abrupt hiatus due to an abrupt death/trauma in my life.#at 4 months it's the longest one. but that makes sense. given. ya kno. it's my dad.#itll be my birthday chapter. and ill want to hear birthday wishes.#but i guess i just wanna be. understood and heard. i want readers to know about my pain.#i wont go too in depth and all. but i dont want to keep it a secret.#my birthday chapter and my official 'my dad died lol' chapter. what a way to go.
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its that time of the night
#and the year.#really makes me feel like summer especially middle school and before#completely isolated from all my friends panic attacks every time the sun went down hiding from my mom trying to block out screaming as#best i could staying up til dawn drinking dr pepper stealing my moms books listening to my dads cds stealing chocolate chips and eventually#wine from the kitchen puking in the bathroom reading the perks of being a wallflower goinf out for bike rides in the early morning walking#to the library and collapsing on the way home cause i hadnt eaten in 2 days walking past the church holding a knife in one hand#biking because i just knew there was somebody waiting to kill me dying my hair three times begging for escape from the monotony making#friends on twitter and discord in bad places getting attention from strangers for my relationship with a razor blade staying up all night#for the quiet because i needed to be alone because i couldnt sleep to feel something besides numbness getting yelled at for keeping my room#messy and crying thinking about people knowing i was eating finding a book that made me happy and knowing that once i finished it id#return to awful numbing boredom nothing could fix god ive typed a lot#sorry im feeling nostalgic about feeling bad and summer has always been one of many low points in the year for me#anyways ✌️#dw about me im actually in a really good place mentally rn i just. am worried for how long itll last#and quite scared about getting taken off my antidepressants tbh#bug shut up#delete later#Youtube
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not a vent but discussion of sui (i am FINE do not WORRY ABOUT ME)
every time i debate sui, every single time, the one sole thing that keeps me from it is this tiktok i saw. crazy i know but hear me out
this tiktok, wasn't a sui note or something. it was a tiktok about this person apologizing for trying it.
to their cat
and, i have a cat. two cats, but one of them in specific seems to love me very much. i do a lot for the cats in the house in comparison to everyone else here, and thus, he's taken a liking to me.
and one thing in that tiktok that stuck out to me was: "i'm sorry i didn't put food in your bowl when i got home." (or something along those lines)
and it hurt me, as a cat owner, and i think i cried reading that because the cat must have been so scared, worried, confused. must have been waiting for food, must have been trying to figure out why there were men coming inside that they didn't know
and honestly, what if that was me and my cat in that situation. i'd feel awful. terrible owner, and i'd never live it down if i survived but my cat was so, so scared, and confused, for however long it would have been
tldr when i live on my own my immediate goal, is to get a cat. of my own, for an incentive to not try anything drastic. because i need to be there for my future cat. to feed them, water them, love them, everything. that's my plan, and it'll work because every time i'll think about it, i'll remember that tiktok. and i'll almost cry, and i'll find my cat and i'll pet them and love them out of my own thoughts, until i realize i need to live for that cat, if not for myself.
#tw sui talk#cw sui mention#I AM FINE GUYS IM FINE my thoughts are just very silly rn#i keep remembering that tiktok and going Oh My God#ANYWAY IM FINE DONT WORRY ABOUT ME IM OKAY#I PROMISE <3#because its kinda a really fucking heavy topic tho im gonna TAG this with#xanvents#even though im nOT venting because i am fine#its just me having some randomm thoughts at 1036 am on a wednesday#im FINEENEENJTSHJKDFNG#cannot stress enough that i am okay
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#i need a 10 year nap or perhaps a coma :)#as much as i love drawing and writing about blood its really not chill having your own hair matted with blood :)#im fine everything is fine no need to worry or anything but god damn#i just want to pause the entire world rn
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bagged a trial shift at a new pub just for my manager to immediately put on facebook if anyone wants an extra shift on wednesday. he knows what im doing
#he said GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RN#lmfaoooo the notif came through literally as i put the phone down i was like 😳😳��#like that 'CONNOR' tiktok audio like no king im not doing anythinggg haha wdym#anyway im a bit annoyed that the first place to get back to me from my applications was this one#bc im pretty sure their pay is still minimum wage and also my cousin worked a trial shift there once#and not only did they not pay him but they also never called him back or even emailed to politely turn him down#literally just used him for free labour and that was that#word of warning from a very tired waitress if ur thinking about starting: always take trial shifts with a pinch of salt#if the trial shift is longer than 2 hours they really really should be paying you and if they dont the odds are you got mugged off#also the woman on the phone after i said i worked at the place i currently work at was like 'and do you still work there?' SHE KNOWS#and when i said yes she was like 'would you be willing to leave?' HOW CAN I BE TWO-TIMING BOTH OF YOU RN#LYING TO ONE JOB ABOUT SEEKING ANOTHER JOB LYING TO THE NEW JOB ABOUT LEAVING THE OLD ONE COME ON NOW#IM NOT BUILT FOR THESE LAYERS#but yeah summary here is i have a shift at my actual place on wednesday (thank god i havent had work in over a fucking WEEK)#and i have a trial shift at a new place where i'll most likely be offered a job. life is picking up#ALSO i have enough money to change my america flights bc basically something came up with that and i need to change my return flight#and i was originally rlly worried bc the change cost was £161 and that piled onto my current no-shifts stress was Not Fun#but ive been working a lot for my mum and i got paid for the shifts i HAVE done and it all kinda fell together anyway#the way everything is sorting itself today within the same HOUR yet ive been stressing about these things for days now#hella goes home#hella slaves to capitalism
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yknow I think the core of my problems rn is the fact that I never thought I'd live long enough to have to make all these big life decisions
#like. as a kid i never really daydreamed abt college or careers or whatever because i genuinely didnt think i'd be alive to experience them#and idk. knowing that ive outlived my own expectations for myself kinda helps contextualize all this shit im dealing with rn#like obviously it sucks. i dont know what im doing or where im going or what i want to be and its scary and confusing and frustrating.#but its also. kind of liberating too. in a way#because im Alive to be worrying about this shit. which is more than young me ever thought i would do#and idk. i think that speaks for itself.#life sucks rn and im not having a good time because i thought i would be dead by the time i graduated high school#but by god i WASNT dead by the time i graduated high school and im not dead now. and i dont intend to be any time soon.#tonight's existential crisis is a mixture of crisis and hope i guess <3#winter speaks#personal#tw suicide mention#<- not really but just in case#im not even sure what im trying to say im just thinking ig#goodnight <3
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hm i think my problem is that im tired of creating visual art as a whole rn like i don't want to create something that is Looked at i want to create something that envelopes you in your entirety. the other problem is that when writing this i had to go back and change 'i want to be' into 'i want to create' the third problem is that im so very tired
#im going to a local folk group night in a bit i think.#the other part of folk music thats really hitting rn is i want to connect myself to a line of other artists and when i do that visually#i never feel like im connecting i worry about integrity and theft and artistic intent#rn i dont want to make my own work i want to out my own spin on someone elses#i want to interpret rn. and thats just not really done in the mediums i work in#god. whatever#tad talks
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so The Beast has lost her goddamn shoe like 4 days before i move. this is fine
#i am insane i am the joker what the fuck the farrier won't be here for the next 5 days#WHY did she have to lose it NOW#like FUCK i had plans to work w her in the last 4 days we're gonna spend together but i guess the fuck not??????????#great way to say goodbye to me really [sarcasm]#the ONLY thing keeping me relatively sane is that there's another heatwave rn#so that maybe she'll AT LEAST not have enough energy to do crazy shit and hurt herself#what the fuck man why are horses like this#i'm not even that mad im just fucking?? worried about her like her hooves are already fucking sensitive#if she gets a hoof problem like right before i move it's gonna be probably the most stressful fucking thing for me#SHE BETTER NOT GET FUCKING HURT I SWEAR TO GOD
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im actually so mad right now but im being really brave and not making posts or suibaiting on twitter i deserve ten billion dollars every time i dont kill people who are assholes to trans men
#DONT EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT <- seething#sorry for saying i want to kill people it’s my inherent masculine violent urges 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 or whatever we’re saying abt trans men these days GOD#I HAVE GOT TO ATART HITTI LMG PEOPLE WITH HAMMERS#*HITFING#*HITTING#fucking christ#Sorry 👍 do not want 2 complain on main bc i dont want 2#open a complicated bag of worms when im tired & cant. whTs ethe word#express myself right#tldr i saw a really bad tweet being super condescending to (murican) transmascs who r scared by the stare of our country rn and i am very ma#*mad abt it 👍 also it was super#dangerous advice. like girl.
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