#god I'm trying to keep my anxiety down but man it has never been more easier said than done

[crossexaminationallegro]

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[spasmsofthought]

the risk (is drowning) [jake seresin x f!reader]

This little 1k piece is 100% inspired by the song Risk by Gracie Abrams. What a masterpiece this song is.

Also a special dedication to all my anxious wallflower girlies (especially those in their mid-to-late twenties). You are seen and loved. You will be wanted. xoxo

Warnings: Some indirect allusions to anxiety/social anxiety.

Please like, comment, reblog. Let me know what you think! xo

on A03 here

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"It feels like the universe is pranking me."

The bar is loud and bright and crowded, even in the shadows of the back corner where you and your roommate Alexis are sitting on stools. A remixed pop song is playing from the speakers in the room - it sounds like something you heard in CVS three days ago while picking up your prescription strength Benadryl. Damn hives. You knew better than to let Jessica be the one to choose the takeaway order for lunch. She never remembered anybody's food allergies.

"I wonder," You continue speaking as you swirl the straw in your club soda, "if I'm on some alien reality version of punk'd. I feel like there's a camera trying to catch me over my shoulder. I keep waiting to hear a laugh track in the background."

Alexis just sighs from across you. Then she gives you the look that she's been giving you all evening - full of love but also half-reproach and half-amusement.

"I think you might've coordinated my outfit for nothing," You look down at the number you're wearing. It's something that's much different than you're usual look - not as casual and more flashy. It screams look at me with several exclamation points. You don't remember the last time you wore something to make someone else notice you - not intentionally. You don't really know for sure if it's helping you feel more confident or more like a poser.

"I wore mascara for no reason." You slump against the wall at your back. "He hasn't shown up. I don't even think he's going to be here tonight."

There's a minute of semi-silence where you take in the ambiance of the place. You notice that the music over the speakers has changed genres to a popular country song that has some people by the pool table swaying or singing along at the counter with beer bottles in their hands pretending that they're microphones.

"Speak of the devil," Alexis smirks at you and then points her chin towards the direction of the front door. She's not wrong.

There he is in all of his golden glory. Jake Seresin. Lieutenant, Naval aviator, Top Gun graduate.

He's never actually introduced himself to you; you've never met him. It's not that hard to get a beat on who he is though - he's all anyone ever talks about in this place. You notice you're staring and swivel your attention back to Alexis.

The amount of times you've daydreamed about his eyes or, God, his hands feels almost wrong due to the fact that you've never even spoken a word to the man.

He really is just your type: a blue-eyed all-American boy with a killer smile and all the confidence in the world. You can practically feel the rush of heat to your face and you bring your soda to your lips for a quick swallow.

It had been really challenging at first, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and intentionally choosing to spend time with crowds of people, even if it's really only Alexis you ever talk to. It's taken months to feel much more comfortable even hanging in the back corner of a bar like this.

Jake had been a regular before this became your weekend hangout spot with Alexis and ever since the first day you saw him you'd known that he wasn't the type of person to escape anybody's notice. Whether it's his natural charisma or a learned charm, you looked at him once and haven't stopped looking.

Your life has always felt more monotone - shades of black and white with spots of blue or green or yellow or pink here and there. Even from far away, you can tell that Jake Seresin's life is in full, vibrant technicolor. You keep wondering what that must be like.

"If there's any time to shoot your shot it'd be now, before the groupies surround him." Alexis advises you.

He's just making his way to the bar counter after calling out greetings or doing that weird bro handshake guys do with each other when they're acquaintances but don't know each other that well.

You don't know why you came tonight, why you confessed this to her in the first place. You don't know why your mind has been stuck on a Jake Seresin loop. Why this has been the one thing it hasn't let go of.

You're almost ready to bolt out of there, indecision weighing heavy on your shoulders. The indecision isn't even the worst part because you're friends with indecision. It's been there for you all your life.

It's the fact that you want to go up there and introduce yourself to him that's actually terrifying. You can't remember the last time you wanted something like this. Have you?

"If you don't get up and go over there yourself, I will make you."

Your mom used to tell you that the only way you started learning how to swim as a young girl was when she tossed you into the deep end of the pool with a swimming instructor and you had to learn first-hand, in the moment, how to paddle in water to keep from drowning.

"But he's so hot," You whisper, leaning across the table as your hands start to shake, "I'm no supermodel on a runway. I've never even had a boyfriend."

"How have I never known that you're in your late twenties and never had a boyfriend?" Alexis gapes, one of her hands coming to cover your shaking ones.

"Never even been on a real date, actually." You grimace and lean away, pulling your hands out from under hers.

"I'm not going to force you," Alexis softens, "If you're really not ready, we can go and come back some other time."

You take a deep breath in, then a slow breath out. "What if he shoots me down?" What if I drown in rejection?

"Remember what you said when we took that philosophy course on morality in grad school and we were arguing about what it means for a person to have 'character'?" You frown at Alexis' words. Grad school, where you met her and became life-long friends, feels like a lifetime ago. "You said, 'It's your motivations and actions that make you who you are.' If you go over there and he's the one that rejects you, that is communicating something to you about who he is. His rejection is not about you."

You take a second breath and shrug, "That makes sense, I guess."

"There's a reason I'm your best friend y'know." Alexis flips her hair over her shoulder.

"I'm worth this," You nod your head adamantly, peeking at him from the corner of your eye. But your eyes don't meet nothing. It's only a quick glance, but there's a glimmer of recognition in his eyes. Something that tells you that you won't be making a complete fool of yourself.

"Damn right you are," Alexis says.

You slowly stand up from your seat against the wall, shaking your hands out. You're going to let what you want override your indecision and anxiety, even if it's just for sixty seconds.

"Okay, okay, okay," You whisper to yourself. Taking a step and then turning back towards Alexis.

"You've got this," She reassures you. "Go, be brave."

Your turn around and walk forward, Jake Seresin in your sights. Maybe you in his, based on the second glance your garner. You turn your head one last time to give Alexis and anxious, unsure smile and then you walk the rest of the way to the bar counter by yourself. You don't look back.

[a-small-safe-place]

Homelander x SingleMom!Reader

Building a Family

Homelander was walking to the daycare inside Vought. He did not think he would ever have to come down here, but he couldn't leave Ryan alone, and Ryan expressed clear displeasure about having to sit in Ashley's office. Ryan complained that Ashley smelled weird. Homelander understood what his son meant. Ashley consistently reeked of anxiety and fear. Of course, Ryan wouldn't recognize those smells; he was only ten years old. Homelander felt a pang of jealousy at Ryan's childhood innocence. He never had that opportunity. Dr. Vogelbaum and the rest of the scientists who raised him in the lab made sure of that.

Homelander entered the daycare area, and the few children left were chattering away. A little girl wearing a Homelander shirt ran up to him, giggling and reaching for him as if she wanted to be picked up. Homelander brushed past the girl and headed to the area for older children. Ryan walked over with a shy and somewhat awkward smile on his face. Homelander asked, "Hey, buddy, are you ready to head back up?" Ryan didn't say anything; he just nodded in response. Homelander understood that Ryan was probably overstimulated from being around screaming kids all day.

As they were walking out of the daycare are Homelander noticed the little girl from earlier hugging onto your leg while you chat with a daycare attendant. He recognized you as one of the top professionals on Vought's legal team. You were attractive, for a human, but you were still a human, even though your non-disclosure agreements had practically saved the image of the Seven. The little girl spotted Homelander and ran to him, clinging to his leg. You quickly scolded the girl, saying, "Sweetie, get off of him!" Homelander flashed his classic smile and lifted the little girl off his leg, while Ryan watched, somewhat annoyed and eager to go home. Homelander reassured you, saying, "It's alright; I'm glad to see I'm still popular with the kids."

You reached out for your daughter, saying, "She just really likes you. She has one of those huggable Homelander dolls and sleeps with it every night." Ryan quietly asks his dad if they can leave. Homelander seemed amused by your young daughter being a big fan of his and replied, "Oh, really? She must be my biggest fan, then." Homelander waved dismissively at you and your daughter, saying, "You two ladies have a nice night."

That night, Homelander thought about you. Perhaps you were more attractive than he had initially thought, and he couldn't help but notice your good physique. Even if you were just a human you could still be useful. You clearly possessed some good qualities and had the aptitude to be a good mother for Ryan if the situation arose. He decided to keep an eye out for you because he couldn't afford to appear desperate and let you know he was attracted to you. After all, he was Homelander, and you should come to him. However, your presence began to consume his senses and thoughts.

He smelled your perfume and your natural scent in the halls of Vought, heard your voice above all others, and occasionally saw you through the floors, unintentionally getting an up-skirt view when he used his X-ray vision to look up through the floors in your office. But you weren't showing any interest in him, which irked him more than anything. Homelander considered himself a god, and he believed that any woman would want him if given the chance. So, why weren't you pursuing him or trying to arrange to see him again when picking up your daughter from daycare?

Fed up with the situation, he stormed into your office. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked in an aggressive tone. You responded with uncertainty, "Sorry?" not sure what he was talking about.

"Don't play fucking cute. You've been avoiding me. Are you a lesbian? Or, God forbid, celibate?" Homelander inquired with furrowed brows. You didn't know how to respond. This man had the power to do terrible things, and saying the wrong thing could be disastrous for you and your daughter. Homelander continued, "I can't believe a woman like you is passing up the chance with someone like me. We're not even in the same league. No, I won't accept it. I'm coming to your house tomorrow, and we're having a date. Find a sitter for your daughter; just make sure she's not there. Nothing ruins the mood more than a child running around. If things go well, we can introduce our children to each other at the right time and become one big happy family."

With that, he left, without asking for your address or inquiring about your relationship status. You were shaken up, but at least you were still alive.

[lushlovers]

The P-word, J Burrow

summary; he doesn't know what to say or how to react to things like this.

warnings; fluff fr, mentions of pregnancy and pregnancy tests, pet names (baby, honey, ) joe actually kinda sucks with words but same lmaoooo, swearing, kissing

word count; 903

note; yes angst but also fluff. i'm working on more frat!lsu!joey, but this was something random I wanted to post since it's been a little while. i hate the ending no one talk about it. winter writer's block ain't no joke fr.

this is kind of my thank you for two hundred followers even though we are just on the cusp of three, but thank you so much, I appreciate the support of my works more than you will ever know. i love every one of my followers so so sooo much yall are the best:)

Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant. Maybe the more you think of those eight letters will fade away and completely off the little plastic at-home test you decided to finally take. God the word just keeps ringing in your head like the most annoying of alarms. How the hell are you supposed to tell him? His career's just started he'll never be along for the roller coaster ride, especially not when it consists of a baby running around as well.

However, luck chooses to be your opponent this evening since Joe's already home and sitting on the couch in the living room, completely oblivious to the fact that your world has just turned completely upside down. It took a while for you to work up the nerve to call him up, but when you did everything suddenly felt so heavy.

The weight refused to leave your shoulders as he sat on the truck at the foot of your bed. Rehearing in the mirror, preparing for every scenario, but especially for the one that you hope and pray will never occur. Everything that you've been through together, nothing will go wrong, he's too good of a person.

After several minutes, worry becomes evident in your voice as he asks you through the door if everything's alright, "'M fine, just nervous, I guess." That seemed to do the opposite of what you intended, that is, maybe your lying and saying you're fine would shut him up for a bit, but your being nervous led to many other questions from the other side of the door.

Adding on to that p-word, every what if clouds your mind as well. What if telling him this is your biggest regret? What if he just packs his shit and leaves? What if-, "Baby, are you sure?" Fucks sake he's still going with his questions, in any less stressful situation this would've been appreciated, but not when you can barely seem to focus on the most topic at hand.

Now or never, seemed to be the only thing that got you to push open the door and finally face the man you love so dearly. He almost instantly jumps up, concern written all over his face even more so when he glances in the direction of your hands. "Do you wanna tell me what's going on?" No, not entirely, you think but you won't let that escape your mouth, matter of fact, nothing leaves your mouth for many seconds. Maybe never was a good idea.

It took a bit for you to unscramble your words and finally speak up, "I'm gonna tell you something, but you have to try not to freak out." Your mouth felt dry the way your anxiety made your throat close up made it feel like your lungs had shrunk five times the size they were before, "Okay, care to share? I'm like shitting my pants right now," Joe spoke, chuckling but not because it was funny, he laughs because he's terrified of what words may escape your lips.

You do everything you can to avoid his eyes because the all too familiar feeling of tears surfaces on your waterline and his brows furrow at that. "Honey, you know you can tell me anything, yeah?" His question is lost to you as he cups your face thumbing away the tears before they got a chance to slip down your cheeks. The feeling of his eyes searching yours for any answer to all the questions that he's thinking about is a scary feeling.

"I'm pregnant," it comes out as a whisper, but the way the color completely drains from his face, you know he understood every syllable of those two words. For a split second, he stares at you with a look you don't think you've ever received from him before, "That's... wow." A strangled breath of half relief and half worry escapes you at his response.

Your soul leaves your body as he racks his brain for something to say to express just how he's feeling, but he's almost certain there is no possible way to verbally explain it. Now tears are welling up in his pretty blue eyes, "That's insane, I dunno what to say, are you sure?" His voice is trembling just as much as his hands as you place the test into his palm, he gets choked up as he reads over the same word that had your stomach in knots before with nothing but admiration and surprise.

"Holy fucking shit," he gapes, pulling you into him so tight it nearly knocks the wind right out of you. You laugh now as it settles into your mind that Joe would never do anything to hurt you or your baby in any way possible and to think he would ever leave in a situation like this one was silly, but thinking irrationally tends to happen quite a lot.

"I'm gonna be a dad, I need to call-" you cut him off before he's able to go on his rant, "How about we pause, and we can tell whoever we want in the most extravagant, Joseph Burrow way possible?" He snorts at that, pulling his face away from his place against your shoulder, muffling some form of agreement against your lips, then your jaw, neck, and clavicle, and lowering himself to his knees.

For a moment he looks up at you, "Sorry if I scared you with my response, I don't usually know what to say in times like this and my brain went into shock mode."

[c1tr1sfl0w3rs]

Soft!dark!Ethan Landry x pastors!daughter!reader P2

18+ NSFW P1

Your father was a man of God. He taught you the bible and what was right and what was wrong. What happened between you and Ethan, went against everything he had ever taught you.

After it happened you were overwhelmed with guilt, you even took off your purity ring because you couldn't be a liar on top of a whore.

Ethan was a gentleman, which surprised you. The words of your father echoed in your head "Never give it up to a boy before marriage, because once they have what they want they'll leave you looking like a foolish whore." He wasn't like that, he went above and beyond for you, little gifts every day flowers, chocolates or coffee. Ethan reassured you, that what you did together was normal and there was nothing to be ashamed of. He even stayed when you found out you were pregnant. (Of course you didn't know this is what he had wanted.)

You were panicking, how were you going to tell your father? You couldn't get rid of the baby, and lord Ethan stood by you the whole time. He said he would support any choice you made but told you he wanted to keep it, and raise the baby together.

Both of you had made up your mind, you were keeping the baby, which means you had to tell your father. So you decided to soften the blow by calling your mother and arranging a dinner, you said it was so they could meet your boyfriend. The happy giggles from your mother lessened your anxiety, she would be more understanding than your dad, and she would calm him down, get him to forgive you when the time came.

--------------------------------------------------

The dinner was surprisingly pleasant. Ethan and your mother were getting along good, your father was in a better mood than you thought he would be. As the dinner was wrapping up Ethan volunteered to help your mom with the dishes giving you room to talk to your father.

"So daddy, what do you think of him?" Your voice came out stronger than you expected. "He seems like a good kid, I'm just not sure about him yet." The whole dinner you had been very careful about not drawing attention to your hands, so no one would notice your absent ring.

"Dad, I have to tell you something very important. Please promise me you won't be mad?" He looked at you curiously. "Honey I could never stay mad at you, you can tell me anything." Liar, you knew he was lying but you couldn't avoid telling him the truth any longer. "I'm pregnant, and it's Ethan's." You said so quietly you didn't think he heard you, however the way his whole body became tense told you he did.

He put a hand over his eyes, sprt of squeezing his temples. He did some sort of chuckle, your anxiety heightened. You could feel this was about to get ugly. "So that son of a bitch inside made a liar and whore outta my daughter?" He asked so calmly and your tears began to fall. "I'm sorry dad, but he loves me and said he'd stick by me no matter what, he's a good guy."

"So if any guy told you that you'd just spread your legs for them, you're dumber than I thought." The tears turned into sobs at that point. He stood up and made his way into the kitchen. You could hear your father yelling obscenities at Ethan, and Ethan trying to calm him down. Your mother also began to raise her voice telling your dad to back down. All you could do was cry though. What had you expected? This was the consequences of your actions. As the yelling got worse you couldn't take it anymore and went to go sit on the porch.

The warm air felt freeing. The setting sun comforting you, the chirping birds song distracting you from your thoughts and the shouts from inside.

It was a while before your mother beckoned you back inside where she took a seat at the dining table next to you father and across from Ethan. Who you say next to, the second you were sat he took your hand and ran his calming thumb over the back of your hand.

"Sweetheart, your father and I were talking about it and he compromised on a solution. We'll support you both through this if you get married." Your father wouldn't look you in the eye and you knew he would probably disown you if you said no. The problem was you didn't know if that's what Ethan wanted. The both of you were so young and you didn't kno-

Ethan's voice cut you out of your thoughts. "I want to, I'll do it if you want to baby." His attention now turned to you.

Those pesky tears came back and you fell into his arms. He held you so tight but not on a suffocating way, in a way that the ache in your heart lessened.

"We want to get married." Your voice finally spoke, it was shaky and scratchy from crying but it was there.

"Oh honey" your mom came over and hugged you tight. "It'll have to be a quick wedding, but this is so amazing, welcome to the family Ethan."

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The wedding was indeed fast, before you started showing. It was simple but beautiful, your side of the family was surprised but supporting.

Your father had been practically silent since that dinner. At least towards you, but when he walked you down the aisle he gave you a quick hug before letting you go and you knew he had forgiven you.

The ceremony was short and sweet, Ethan's vows were breathtaking, they made you cry. You felt your vows were enough but nothing compared to his. You had your first kiss as wife and husband. Ethan was an aweful dancer, he almost made you fall multiple times. His warm hands over yours as you cut the cake together and fed it to eachother.

You were over the moon and after the wedding was over Ethan took you back to your shared apartment. As you both took off layers of your complex yet beautiful outfits he began to speak.

"Bunny you were so pretty today, had to hold myself back from bending you over and splitting you open on my cock in front of everyone." He came up behind you massaging your shoulders then he leaned real close to your ear "Do you want me to split you open? Make you cry and come until you're all dumb in the head?" His tone was so condescending but the way his breath tickled your cheek. You felt warmth spreading through you, the kind only he knows how to pull from you. "Please Ethan, please please plea-" He laughed, hands that were once massaging your shoulders now pulling down the straps of your gown. Letting it fall to the floor. "Begging already and I haven't even done anything, it's ok I know how desperate you get. Go wait on the bed for me wifey."

You say on the bed patiently waiting for your husband to come take care of you, like he always did. The hormones from the baby made you need him so much it almost hurt.

He finally came in. Only wearing his dress pants. He looked so good, his exposed upper half. His chocolate curls and that mischievous look in those puppy eyes.

"Look at you baby. God you're so pretty."

He walked towards you until he stood between your open legs. Ethan leaned down and you met his lips in a hungry kiss. His tongue lead yours and you moaned into his mouth.

He broke the kiss and gave you the most sinful smile. He fell to his knees, his head leaned against your pillow like thighs. He kissed up and down your legs. Sucking a mark right next to your core.

"Bunny you're so wet." He said as he pulled your panties to the side, your slit dripping for him. He licked a stripe up your folds and you let out a broken moan.

He started to suck on your clit as his fingers teased your opening. It felt so good, there was no way this could be a sin. The man has to be an angel.

His long thick fingers pushed into you and curled up, hitting that special spot. Your thighs tightened around his head as you moaned and moaned.

He ate you like a starved man, getting you closer to that edge. "Oh Ethan, I'm gonna-" You couldn't even say it. The wave of euphoria engulfed you. You clenched around him and he helped you ride it out, but he didn't stop after you came no he kept going at the same pace. He lapped at your clit and fucked you with his fingers. "It's too much, Ethan please." You tried to pull away but his hand on your hip kept you anchored. "I'm not done with you. You can take it." He said quickly then went back to devouring you. The second orgasm came embarrassingly quickly, and somewhat painfully. You were so overstimulated but he just kept going.

Your head was foggy, all you could do was moan. Ethan had been between your legs for what seemed like forever. You don't even know how many times you had come. "Etha- oh God please I can't" you said, voice scratchy as you tried to get away from his overwhelming touch. He didn't say anything, just sped up his efforts between your legs. You came again, except this time you squirted in his mouth. He made sure none of it went to waste, and finally he moved away from your sore pussy. He looked at you like you were the most precious thing ever, and to him you were. Legs shaking like a baby deer, tears down your face and a cute gushing pussy. You were his own paradise. He looked just as disheveled, your slick running down his chin, curls a mess from you tugging on them and his aching dick, bulging out of his dress pants.

He pulled his pants and boxers down, and held onto his aching cock. The tip flushed red leaking precum. Then he slid your sticky panties down your trembling legs. "Hope you didn't think I was done yet bunny. Need to feel your sweet pussy." You moaned at his words and knew you were gonna feel him for days after this.

He gave you no warning, he just pushed inside you, your previous orgasms making it easy. He let out a pathetic moan as he began to fuck you at a brutal pace. His hips pistoning into yours. His pubic bone hitting your sensitive clit and his balls slapping against your ass. You couldn't think or feel anything but him, not even noticing you were drooling all over your sheets. "Awh poor baby can't even take my cock without going dumb even though she was begging for it earlier." He felt you clenching on his dick and knew he wasn't gonna last with the way your pussy was sucking him in. He lifted your legs from around his waist and placed them on his shoulders. The new angle making you cry out. His brutal pace didn't stop as he circled your clit. You came hard and he fucked you through it, and finally he painted your inside with his cum. "You did so good for my bubby, I love you, now let's get you cleaned up." He said but as he saw his cum trickle out of you he pushed it back in with two fingers. "Gotta make sure my baby stays nice and full with my cum."

As he cleaned you with a wet rag he couldn't help but smile, his plan had went much better than he thought. You now had his last name, with a ring on your finger and a baby in your belly. He didn't think your parents would demand the two of you get married but it made keeping you so much easier. He was gonna make sure that after you gave birth to his first child that you were pregnant again. He was gonna keep you nice and filled with babies <3

AHSJSJSN Ethan brain rot, hope you enjoyed and let me know what you wanna see next.

Sunny out ✌️

[bridgertonbabe]

Was there a tearful reunion after Sophie finally let Ben hug his baby girl?

BSSG Group Chat

Michael sent a photo

Michael: Reunited at long last 🤗

Lucy: oh thank god

Simon: Sophie that grown man is in tears. Are you proud of yourself?

Penelope: like I get you wanted to punish him for his recklessness but withholding his little girl from him was some real next level shit

Gareth: yh it was pretty fucked up ngl

Sophie: To be honest even I'm shocked I kept Violet from him for as long as I did. I can be a real diabolical bitch when I want to be.

Lucy: yeah no kidding

Kate: Well that's just what happens when Ben doesn't bother inviting me along to Mario Karting in real life. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

Simon: @ Kate You should know it's taking all of my strength not to remove you from the chat right now.

Phillip: How are things with Ben now in general? Has the whole keeping Violet from him effected your relationship at all?

Sophie: Honestly now that we've had snu snu, his cast is off and he's able to be with Vi again everything's just back to what it used to be.

Penelope: except now any time his siblings suggest anything remotely stupid and competition based he's going to have ptsd from going weeks without his baby girl and he's going to just stay out of it

Sophie: Well with any luck yeah 🤞 I didn't keep Vi from him all that time just for him not to learn any lesson at all.

Gareth: well what happens if he does partake in stupidity again

Sophie: I mean if he does involve himself in any kind of reckless stupidity on the same level of go-karting Mario Kart style then I might just give Vi away. @ Michael you and Fran can take her if you'd like. I know you guys would provide her with the best life.

Michael: Noted 📝

Simon: Jesus Christ.

Penelope: relax she's joking

Sophie: Haha yeah. Sure.

Lucy:

Phillip: Look so long as we keep Ben from straying away from the light we should be fine.

Gareth: yh next time the bridgertons try to do any shenanigans i'll just get hy to chloroform him so he stays out of trouble and out of sophie's bad books

Sophie: Thanks I appreciate it x

Penelope: ...

Penelope: ok not sure if you are joking any more

Michael: So has Ben been able to put Violet down yet?

Sophie: No not yet. After an hour his arms got tired so now he's got her strapped to his chest.

Phillip: Do you fear he might never put her down again due to separation anxiety?

Sophie: ...

Sophie: Yeah I can hold my hands up and admit I messed up and made him even more overly attached to her than he already was.

Kate: Well that's what happens when you overreact to some perfectly healthy competitors and get on your high horse just because you don't appreciate innovative creativity.

Simon has removed Kate from the chat

[pen-guin-writez]

Panicfrog cuddling for the panicfrog writing prompts thing :) you can decide the rest but I just want them to cuddle at some point ^w^

YAYYY TYTY

fic below the cut!!

Another day that Fear just so happened to be on Dream Duty.

Fear didn't like Dream Duty. It's just... so...boring, man. So cliche, it's just the same thing over and over again. He'll admit, however, there are times nightmares do give him a good scare. But a lot of the time he finds himself staring blankly at the screen.

THUD!

Fear falls out of the chair.

Ow...

"Oh my gosh--- are you okay? Sorry, I didn't mean to--- I--- Oh god...."

Initially, Fear didn't recognize the emotion hovering over him. He slides the chair in front of him to peek behind it shakily and...

"Oh, uh, Anxiety. Hi!"

The 'hi' was more enthusiastic than he wanted it to be, but forget that, he liked her.

"Hi... are you okay?" She asks again, "Sorry."

Fear's eyes dart, before immediately springing into a straight, standing position.

"Do- don't apologize, you're fine," for a split second, he smiles, before faltering and tilting his head, "wait, why are you still up?"

The question seemed to make Anxiety, more... anxious, if that's even possible.

"Listen I'm sorry, I-I tried, but I'm just too worked up about Riley's Spanish test, we- we haven't studied enough--- it's just--- it's not enough, what if we fail? And then Mom and Dad get mad at us? And they ground us, and we never get to play hockey again, and---"

And she goes into an unfiltered, messy rant about Riley, proceeding to lean her head on his shoulder. And Fear just froze for a moment.

Now, normally, Fear would jump in an instant and run away screaming, but there was something oddly comforting about this.

Maybe it was because... she trusted him? For some reason?? At least, she trusted him enough to rant about all her problems and lean in like this. And this time Fear wasn't scared, even though... that's his job, but he was more... endearingly charmed.

Fear suddenly shakes his head, stepping aside from Anxiety.

"Hey, uh, Anxiety?" he stammers, "Uh, listen, okay? I know it's hard. I mean, Riley's thirteen now. That's some scary stuff. I should know, I literally embody all of her fears."

She giggled at that. See, Disgust was wrong, Fear can be funny. Bonus points for sort of impressing a cute girl.

"But you wanna know what's worse? Studying so long you don't get any sleep. And if you don't get any sleep, you'll fall asleep in school. And that's like, one of the worst possible outcomes of studying! Just imagining it makes my skin crawl!"

Fear shakes Anxiety with a playful intent.

"HEY, QUIT IT!!!"

"Oh- oh, I'm sorry, I didn't---"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. You're just trying to help, it's just... sleeping's always been hard for me, there's just so much on my mind, no matter how hard I try." Anxiety curls up, looking to the side, and Fear really can't help feeling bad for her.

"O-oh, Anxiety... I'm sorry, I wish I could help, but..." Fear pauses in thought. He thinks about what helps him feel better when he's scared.

He smiles gently, "Do you wanna stay here?"

"W-What?"

"Yeah, stay here and... I brought my teddy bear. You can hold him, or me, or--- I mean--- whatever will help you." Fear felt the strand of his hair curl up, his face going all red.

"Really?" Her eyes gleam.

"Ye-yeah. I mean, it's not like this dream here's keeping me occupied, I mean, look at this! Ha!"

It was a dream Fear had seen many times before, the classic not-wearing-pants and everyone-making-fun-of-you type of thing. Except instead of a bunch of eleven year olds laugh at him

"Heh, are you seein' this? Are the directors even tryi---"

Fear felt a squeeze, and his eyes narrowed down to see Anxiety hugging him, her teeth chattering and all. Instead of running off and screaming about germs or something, however, he just cautiously lets his hand reach her hair, slowly, and carefully and...

For once, neither of them run off screaming. At all. They found comfort in each other, and Fear couldn't help but sigh.

Which is exactly what woke Anxiety up.

"Oh my gosh- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to---"

They looked at each other. No one else was around.

"Do you still wanna..?"

"Yes, I would like that very much."

Anxiety cuddles up against fear arm as he strokes the back of her head, leaning on her. His fingers were entangled with hers, and it felt like nothing else in the world felt safer than this moment.

And of course, when the morning comes, they'll start screaming and panicking to the other emotions' annoyance.

But Fear needed this moment. Hey, he said he would change her!

[cookies-over-yonder]

the ballad of an (un)diagnosed private investigator

In junior year, Riz is finally forced to face one of his worst enemies yet—an undiagnosed anxiety disorder threatening to compromise his grades, his relationships, and, most of all, his sanity.

chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | ?

Chapter 2 Summary:

Riz initiates an impromptu sleepover.

ao3

Sklonda has been sitting alone on the couch for hours with dried tears stuck to her face.

She checks the time on her crystal.

11pm.

Just as she's about to get up and go get Riz, because he's certainly worked himself into a frenzy, she gets a notification.

Riz: sleeping over at mordred tonight. love you

-

Ma: Love you too, hon. We're talking about this tomorrow.

Riz cringes at his crystal, and then turns it off. He takes a deep breath in and out, and then, instead of knocking or, gods forbid, ringing the bell, he texts Adaine that he's here.

When the door opens, he's relieved to see her face.

"Is your dad home?" he asks quietly, walking inside.

"He's upstairs, why?"

"No reason."

They get to her tower, and Riz flops onto the bed, burying his face in the mattress.

"Are you okay, man?" Adaine asks, sitting next to him. "I'm always down for an impromptu sleepover, but you don't seem well."

"I think I'm in a fight with my mom," Riz mumbles into her blanket.

He feels a hand on his back.

"When's the last time you ate?" Adaine asks.

"I had a granola bar this morning...?" Riz says, turning around to face her. I was making lunch with Mom earlier, but..."

He cringes.

"Then you fought?"

"No—uh, it doesn't matter. I'm not hungry, okay?"

Adaine is grabbing his hand and leading him back downstairs despite his protests in an instant.

He's sitting at the kitchen counter with a cup of tea—not coffee—as she digs through the fridge when he hears someone descending the steps.

Riz stares at the mug in his hand, and when he notices the slight tremble, he shuts his eyes.

"Hey, Riz!" Jawbone says, and he opens his eyes and forces himself to look up from the drink. "How you doing, kiddo?" Jawbone asks, not in the light conversation way, but in the I know something is wrong way.

"I'm fine, Jawbone," he says flatly.

"I heard you were sleeping over," he says, and Riz shoots a look to Adaine, who promptly shakes her head. "Your mom told me," Jawbone clarifies, having watched this exchange.

"Right. Of course she did," Riz says, taking a sip of tea. "I'm fine," he adds, trying and failing to tone down his agitation.

Riz watches Jawbone's gaze flicker to his trembling hands, then back up to meet his eyes.

"Well, alright, kid, but if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here. You kids want me to order a pizza? I think Fig and Kristen might be asleep already, but I already know what flavours they'd pick."

"Sure," Adaine says.

Riz takes another sip of tea, and then puts down the cup.

He listens and nods along half-heartedly as Jawbone orders the pizza and asks for input. Once he leaves the room, Riz lets out a sigh of relief and rests his head on the counter's surface.

"I have never seen you that on edge around Jawbone before," Adaine says. "What's going on, Riz?"

Riz keeps his head on the counter, because he feels tears welling up, and he can't help but let them fall.

"I really, really don't want to talk about it."

"Okay," Adaine says, and he hears her summon her familiar.

He lifts his head to make sure she isn't feeling too anxious, but to his surprise, she puts Boggy in his arms.

"Uh—"

"You seemed stressed," she says.

"Yeah. Uh. Thanks."

Adaine keeps staring at him, like she's studying his every movement.

He squirms a little under her gaze.

"So, uh—" he clears his throat, "the pizza will be here in like fifteen, right?"

"Yeah."

"And then we should go to bed, 'cause, we have school...?"

Riz doesn't remember what day it is, but it's more likely to be a weekday tomorrow than it is to be a weekend. Statistically.

"It's Saturday night, dude."

"Right. I knew that. And it's... May."

"June."

"I was close though, wasn't I?" Riz jokes, hoping to lighten the mood.

It doesn't seem to work.

"I'm fine, Adaine," he says, before she even says what's written on her face.

"You need sleep."

"I slept for like... six hours earlier today, actually."

She raised her eyebrows.

"What?" he asks.

"You worry me, Riz."

Riz frowns.

"I'm just a little stressed, okay?" he says. "It's normal. I'm handling it. And you don't need to worry."

He hands Boggy back to her and gets off the chair. "Lets go hang out at the couch or something while we wait."

They settle on the couch, and Adaine wraps an arm around Riz, pulling him close. She's not verbally fretting over him anymore, but the tension could still be cut with a knife, and he feels it like an indomitable weight in his chest.

He takes in a breath and lets it out slowly as he turns on his crystal, hoping for a distraction.

Upon unlocking it, the first thing he sees is the message from his mom.

He cringes, turns it off, shuts his eyes, and relaxes—to the best of his ability—into Adaine's side.

Love you too, hon. We're talking about this tomorrow.

[positivelybeastly]

X-Force #50

All right, well, we finally did it, gang. We hit the big 5-0, and it's all done. And guess what?

It's all up hill from here! Wednesday spoilers below the cut, and . . . quite a lot of rambling? If I'm honest?

So, we open up on X-Force trying to kill good Hank and Simon, because they are dumb, despite Kid Omega and Sage asserting their genius. They blow up their little gay boat of love, and our intrepid heroes get pitched into the drink.

So . . . this is . . .

Why is Simon wearing a rebreather/oxygen tank?

Dear reader, I implore you to open this link, and scroll down to Simon Williams' powers and abilities.

Immortality: Williams is functionally immortal. Because of the ionic energy that empowers him, he no longer ages and is immune to disease and infection. This same energy sustains Williams' physical vitality far more efficiently than the biochemical process that sustain ordinary human life.

Self-Sustenance As a result of his transformation he no longer requires food, sleep, water or oxygen to survive. Simon is now a fully energized entity who can sustain himself indefinitely without nourishment, easily able to live outside habitable planet orbit.

Benjamin Percy, writer; Drew Baumgartner, Assistant Editor; Mark Basso, Editor; Jordan D. White, Senior Editor.

All four of these men are incapable of Googling basic facts about a character that Marvel has owned and been using since the 1960s. Basic facts that are available if you do so much as a basic skim of the man's Wiki page.

So, why is Simon wearing a rebreather/oxygen tank? So that evil Beast can destroy it and send Simon up to the surface, and good Beast and evil Beast can talk uninterrupted. That's the only actual reason. This is laziness from both an editorial and a writing standpoint, since you could have easily just had evil Beast use some kind of gadget to achieve the same effect, but don't worry! This won't be the most egregious lack of attention to detail this issue!

Yaaaaaay . . .

"My Beast," huh, Simon?

Gay.

Also, this scene makes X-Force look fucking pathetic, because Simon could literally wipe the floor with every one of them and not break a sweat. Simon 'my fists are LITERALLY as strong as Thor's hammer' Williams has nothing to fear from fucking Omega Red. His pacifism is the only thing keeping you from looking even stupider than you already do.

Orchis attacks to give the rest of X-Force something to do. I don't care.

But we do get this funny fuckin' shit.

Tie him up?

Logan, did you forget the last time you fought Simon? Or the time before that?

Anyway, the Beasts talk. It's not a particularly interesting conversation, for the most part.

God, this plan is just so fucking stupid.

But.

There is one moment that actually kinda works.

It's really funny to me that two of the worst Beast writers of all time, Brian Michael Bendis and Benjamin Percy, both managed to grok this essential fact - Hank McCoy loved being this version of Hank McCoy.

He was happy.

He was comfortable.

He was loved.

Feline Hank, as much as I love him, as much as he's my favourite iteration of the character, was never happy in his skin. How could he be? It wasn't something he chose, it was forced upon him. To save his life.

Well, what if he didn't want to be saved? What if he felt his life was so miserable that he might've thought, perhaps I should just let it all end?

He had moments, sure. But he never really escaped this feeling. This fear, this anxiety, this trauma, this pain. He carried it with him for the rest of his life. Just constant trauma, death, misery, regret, mistakes, chances not taken, failures.

But he would never be the same again. It's funny. He's the version I love most, but he's the version of Hank who could never love himself.

Which . . . is partly why it bugs me when people say Hank has internalised mutantphobia. Like, he kinda does, but I honestly don't really feel like it's quite that simple. He's comfortable in his simian form, he loves it, he only very occasionally angsts about it, he is happy. It's when he turns feline that he hates his mutant 'gift,' because now he has to worry about what might come next.

This is not the same as, I hate my mutant powers because they make my life inconvenient, because it means people hate and fear me. He can deal with that. He's been dealing with that since he was seventeen and nearly beaten to death by an angry mob for saving a child.

This is, I hate my mutant powers because they are turning me into something less than human or mutant. Because I am a danger. Because I am in danger.

And his fears are validated. He nearly kills Blindfold and Armour. He eats Logan's leg, tastes human flesh. He spends the last seven issues of Whedon's Astonishing X-Men with the taste of human skin and meat on his lips. How the fuck is he meant to be happy like this?

Anyway, back to X-Force. The two Beasts fight. Orchis shit happens.

Fuck off, Logan. Stop acting like you're at all relevant to proceedings.

Gay.

"X-Force ain't the ones you root for. But we get the dirty jobs done."

You didn't fucking do anything.

Hank and Simon could have fixed this entire mess without you. The only reason you were fighting a Sentinel was because you drew it to your location with your jet, firing at a gay little blue man and his fruity ionic boyfriend! You didn't contribute anything!

And then, as if to cap it all off . . .

What a self-aggrandising load of wank.

Hey, what was Colossus' plot arc through this series?

He spent 5 years being mind controlled and killed his girlfriend.

What was Domino's plot arc through this series?

Well, she got hurt a lot. There was that one time she got skinned. That was fun.

What was Laura Kinney's plot arc through this series?

There were entire issues where she didn't speak a fucking word.

You had.

50.

ISSUES.

And this is the best you could come up with?

"The plan was always for the war without to lead to the war within these two characters."

Is that why Wonder Man was more important to the climax of your book than Logan?

Go step on a fucking Lego, Ben.

This was allegedly a run all about black ops wetwork, the sacrifice of your soul to the harsh work that protecting your country requires, the inexorable slide towards moral degradation that comes from compromise.

It ended with a blue man in a stupid plant suit sacrificing himself to save a D-list actor from a bomb that would have crushed Mars into a pocket dimension, all so that his clone can go and become roommates with said D-list actor.

Ben Percy, of all the writers the X-office has welcomed into its midst, you were certainly one of them.

I just . . . this was what was worth jettisoning 40 years of Hank McCoy's personal history for? This cockamamie bullshit? This excuse for you to whip your dick out and pretend you're Larry Hama, when you can barely measure up to Chuck Austen?

Also, Jonathan Hickman, you're kind of on my shitlist for this, too. You may write a halfway decent comic book every now and then - and make no mistake, they're mostly halfway decent, I think he scrapes greatness with his ideas, but his execution is. Dry.

But that's better than his eye for talent, clearly.

I hate being negative. I feel guilty every time. I don't enjoy it. I hate to dwell. I hate to spiral. I hate to obsess over things.

But X-Force is just . . .

X-Force was, just shit. I will go to my grave telling anyone who'll listen that it's not worth reading.

"It'll read better in trades!" No, it won't.

"It has such a good team!" If you burn a pie made of good ingredients, you still have a burnt pie to eat.

"The art is so good!" And if you put sprinkles in a toilet bowl, it's still a toilet. It just looks prettier now.

Oh, and just in case anyone from Marvel ever reads this - they won't, they only hang around on Twitter so people can jerk off about the panels they write explicitly to be shared by the X-stans - I've pirated every comic I've read in the last 10 years. Every issue of X-Force? Pirated. All these caps? Pirated. Every time someone asks me where to read comics, what to read? Pirate links.

I didn't pay a dime for this series. I still feel like I got ripped off.

I almost can't believe it's over . . . what am I going to do with my life now that I don't have X-Force to complain about?

Oh, yeah. I can just read good comics. Nearly forgot about that.

But hey. That leads me to . . . I don't know, I guess, the end of an era.

Because Hank didn't get his memories back. Maybe he will in the future, but I don't have faith that there's anyone at Marvel that feels this strongly about Beast, so I doubt it. I need to write this down, anyway, for the catharsis. It'll help me say goodbye.

Rest in peace, Hank McCoy, 1985-2018.

You were the Beast I fell in love with. You were the man who taught me to be gentle when the world was unkind. You were the man who taught me that sometimes you don't have to love the body you're in, you just have to want to keep on going, because it can get better. There's always that chance. You were the man who led me to my boyfriend of 12 years, who I love more dearly than anything else on the planet. You were my friend when I didn't have many, and you've helped me make a lot of friends I quite appreciate. People I'm proud to know.

You're gone now. A lot of people aren't going to mourn you. They don't appreciate what was lost. But that's okay. I'll tell anyone who'll listen how brilliant you were. I'll try not to hold it against the version of you I'm left with, that he isn't you. He was you once. He could be like you again. Maybe better. I'd like that. I hope that's the case.

I'll keep writing you. I honestly don't think I could ever stop.

I'll try my best not to be sad that you're gone.

I'll try my best to instead be simply glad that you happened.

I'll give the past its due.

Which is all you can do, in the end, for the dead and for the past.

Well.

That, and live.

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Lovers & Friends (18+ Fic)

Pairing: Keigo Takami x Black!Fem!Reader (Friends to Lovers)

Synopsis: In which you and Keigo have begun to realize the strange new feelings you both have for each other after one drunken night at a close friend’s wedding that ends with you in his bed, but because of your longtime friendship and committed relationships with other people, you’re more than happy to forget that night even happened and keep your mutual feelings in the dark…for now, at least. 

Story Warnings: Smutty smut; 18+ (MINORS GET AWAY); Cheating/Infidelity; Mating; Light Degradation; Spanking; Exhibitionism; Multiple Positions; Creampie; Unprotected PIV Sex; Facials; Scent Play; Marking; Spitting; Deepthroating; Cunnilingus; Begging; Edgeplay; Power Play; Daddy Kink; Some Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Mild Violence

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic (except for Rei and Haruko). However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer's Note: Got myself a job!! I'm so excited but I'm also shitting myself lmaoo but I'm still gonna try to update as frequently as I can. Enjoy! -Jazz

Chapters: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen. Twenty. Bonus Chapter.

Read on AO3 here!

************

Chapter Three: Those Bachelor Days Don't Last Forever.

Keigo sits on the edge of his king-sized bed in his master bedroom feeling sick. Is it weird for the best man to get cold feet and he isn’t the one getting married? 

Well, that’s exactly how he feels now, dressed in his best Armani suit with a pink flower nestled in his breast pocket in accordance with the color scheme of the wedding. He sits with his legs wide and his head down, feeling like the entire world is crashing around him. 

“Baby!” Sakura calls from down the hall in one of Keigo’s three bathrooms. “How much time do we have left? My hair isn’t working with me today.” He hears her grunt in frustration and the sound of a hairspray can fills the air. She’s been in there for nearly an hour getting ready for Fatgum’s wedding, prepping herself as Keigo’s plus-one. 

“Twenty minutes!” he calls back, checking his Rolex watch. “You’ve got time.” And so does he. Thank God because he has to get his shit together. He has to be the best best man for his friend today despite having never been a best man before. 

But he knows this isn’t the main reason why he’s ready to blow chunks all over his red-bottom shoes. He doesn’t hate weddings either. He went to Yu and Nemuri’s wedding two years ago and had the best time of his life stuffing his face with cake, downing all the champagne, and taking home two of the hot waitresses catering the event. 

He knows his anxiety has a lot to do with his conversation with him and his friends last night which led to him coming home early and fucking Sakura’s brains out just to prove to himself that Fatgum wasn’t right.

He had met up with him late last night for Fatgum’s bachelor’s party, which was really just a trip for some ramen dinner and then a game of pool at Fatgum’s favorite high-end bar. It was located in a fancy hotel across the city. Fatgum drank, ate, and rented rooms free since he saved the hotel from a villain attack years ago when a bomb was built under the building. 

The conversations went from 0 to about 1,000 when the drinks kept pouring and the hours kept ticking down till the wedding. Fatgum was happy, giddy even, as he leaned against the pool table in his skinnier form. “Ah, I can’t believe it,” he sighed. “I’ll really be a married man soon! I get to be with the most amazing woman for the rest of my life!” 

“Rest of your life?” Keigo parroted, scoffing at the statement. “C’mon, man, don’t get ahead of yourself. That’s talkin’ forever.” 

“Exactly!” Fatgum gave him a big, happy grin that was so full of love and bliss, it nearly killed Keigo’s buzz. “Haruko is the one I wanna be with forever. I wouldn’t have proposed if I didn’t see us together for all that time, and I plan on havin’ that woman till I sprout grays.” 

“Not to be a downer or anything,” Toshinori aka All Might said from his spot next to Aizawa aka Eraserhead, busy taking his turn at the pool table, “but you do realize that forever for a pro is limited ‘cause of multiple things, right?” He started ticking off the number of possible threats on his fingers. “Villian attacks, missions gone wrong, crazed fans. The list goes on.” 

“Oh, come on, fellas!” Hizashi aka Present Mic (Mic for short) said from his spot on his stool, sipping from his cocktail with a little umbrella in it. “Don’t rain on poor Fatgum’s parade! I think it’s a wonderful thing to want that with someone. Just look at me and Shouta: six years strong.” He flashed the crew his gold band and grinned at a blushing Aizawa. 

“I get what you’re sayin’, Toshi,” Fatgum said genuinely, patting Toshinori on the back, “and as much I appreciate your honesty, I already know my time may be limited on this earth. That’s why I’m makin’ it count. With my Haruko.” He sighed dreamily; a picture of being in love. “She’s my forever, however long that may be for however long she wants me.” 

Keigo felt something shift inside of him at those words. He realized with a shock that it was jealousy. But who wouldn’t be jealous of a cute ass relationship like Fatgum and Haruko’s? They’d been together for six years, fighting through the ups and downs, the good and bad. Keigo couldn’t imagine being married and doing that. To him, marriage was the ultimate commitment. 

And he wasn’t good at commitment. His list of past relationships that could stretch from Japan to Antarctica would tell you that shit. You, Dabi, and Rumi made fun of him for having “international community dick” because Keigo has seen it all, done it all. As a pro hero, he’s traveled the world for business deals and important meetings, and in every place, he’s had at least one body. 

Keigo just isn’t for relationships. He loved his freedom too much–the freedom to jump from one person to the next in any city or country he wanted. He always figured he was too busy with his hero work to focus on falling in love. He just dated for a good time, which was usually a good fuck that lasted him one night or a few weeks. 

That is until you fell for you. He still doesn’t know when he started falling or how. All he remembers is looking at you one day and thinking, “Damn, she’s beautiful” and then “Damn, I really love her”. 

When he realized what happened, he freaked out. He couldn’t be in love, especially with his best friend! You shared too much together and your relationship was too amazing to be ruined. So he kept his feelings to himself all these years, knowing this love would remain unrequited and unspoken. 

But that doesn’t stop the daydreams of you and him together, you underneath him or him underneath you, your gorgeous face contorted in the pure ecstasy he gave you as he drives his cock into you again and again, making you cum like you’ve never cum before. That doesn’t stop him from wanting to hold you, or feel your lips against his, or feeling hot with jealousy at the other men you give your time to. 

That includes Rei aka Tempo. God, he hates your new man, but not just because he had you. To him, Rei seemed like a fake; like everything he did was for approval and validation, including what he did for you–the dates, the gifts, the cute little IG comments under your photos. It was all for show.

Keigo isn’t with that. You deserve better than that. And now that he knows the dude can’t make you cum, he’s definitely tempted to ruin your relationship with him. But Keigo also isn’t an asshole. He’s also a good friend and wants to see you happy, no matter how much it hurts to pretend. 

“Damn, Keigo, you good?” Ken Takagi aka Rock Lock, asked in concern as he sipped his beer. “You look like you’re about to deck somebody.”

Kan Sekijiro aka Vlad glared at Keigo from his spot at the pool table, his big frame nearly blocking Keigo from the game. “Better not be me if you know what’s good for you,” he grumbled.  

“Chill out, frost tips,” Keigo blandly replied. “I wouldn’t dream of fightin’ your big ass.” Vlad’s glare intensified while the others laughed. “And I’m fine, Ken; thanks for pointin’ that out,” Keigo sarcastically replied to his friend and coworker. He really wasn’t in the mood for this tonight. 

“I would’ve done it, but I didn’t feel like it,” Aizawa deadpanned from the bar. Mic nudged him roughly with his elbow. “Talk to us, Keigo!” he encouraged the winged pro. “What’s eatin’ at you? You don’t agree with someone being your forever?” 

Now the attention was all on Keigo. Usually, he liked it this way, but not right now. He was just trying to enjoy his friend’s bachelor party to celebrate his big day and then go home to have drunk, nasty sex with Sakura. But he knew with a crowd like this, he’d never get away from the topic of conversation.

“It’s not that,” he sighed, sitting on the corner of the table. “I, for one, would love to be with someone I feel like I can see my future with. But as a pro, being in a romantic relationship is difficult and exhausting. Complicates life too much. That’s why I always stuck to my hookups or flings.” 

“So what about Sakura?” Fatgum asked, raising an eyebrow. “Is she a fling or a hookup too?” 

She was, at first. Keigo met the pink, curly-haired cutie at a party he didn’t want to be at downtown (for a business deal) and they got to talking when he offered to buy her a drink after the bartender messed up her order. He was curious about her as soon as he got a look at her in her periwinkle dress that did wonders for her body.

He learned she was a nurse for sick children and her quirk allowed her to ease their pain and discomfort for a few hours by giving them bursts of pleasure in their bodies. He charmed her, danced with her, and managed to get into her bedroom when she invited him back to her place for the night. 

Sex with her is by far the best thing Keigo has ever experienced. Sakura used her quirk on him many times that night to increase his pleasure and gave him some mind-blowing orgasms in the process. To put it bluntly, he was hooked and started seeing her more and more. Unfortunately for him, his pimp shit was squashed when he got to know Sakura more and more. He became fond of her sweet personality and almost innocent outlook on life. He cared deeply for her. 

But while he cared, he knew that care didn’t amount to what he felt for you. He’d give you the whole moon and the sun if you asked. He’d gladly die and kill just to ensure your safety. He didn’t care–he just loved you. He knew he could never love Sakura or any other woman the way he loved you, but he could try. After all, he and you were friends. There was no way he could ever tell you how he truly left, and has been feeling for years. 

“She was supposed to be,” he admitted earnestly, “but after getting to know her, I found I really enjoyed talkin’ with her. She’s a sweet girl, don’t get me wrong…” He trailed off, not wanting to get into it, but already leaving breadcrumbs for his highly-interested audience.

“But?” Fatgum pushed. “I know there’s a “but” in there, Keigo. Don’t deny it.” 

Keigo sighed in frustration, knowing he’d look like a fuckboy for this. “I’m just with her for the fun of it!” he confessed with a shrug. “Nothing long-term or committed. I’m not gonna cheat or hurt her ‘cause I’m not a jerk, but I’m also not lookin’ for something for ‘forever’.” He used his fingers to quote the word, earning a perplexed scowl from Fatgum. “We just laugh, talk, and have a good time.” 

“You mean fuck?” Shouta asked blankly. Even Keigo flushed at the harshness of the word. “Well, if you wanna be blunt, sure.” 

“Keigo!” Fatgum gasped, looking at Keigo like he just admitted to murder. “I’m shocked! You’re really tellin’ me you’re not gonna try to lock a cutie like Sakura down? If you don’t do it now, you’ll regret it later.”

Keigo just waved off his friend’s statement, paying no time to the dramatics. “I don’t regret shit like that.” Fatgum shook his head in pity. “You will when you wind up cold and lonely in your big penthouse without someone to cuddle with.” 

The winged hero sucked his teeth, shaking his head at the others. He knew that wasn’t true. No matter how doomed he was to love you, he also knew he’d find someone else, especially in the future. There was no way he’d be alone forever…right? 

He decided to leave it alone as he waltzed over to the pool table for his turn. He leaned forward, stomach flat against the table, and aimed at a red pool table. It teetered to the right and rolled into two more balls. Once all three fell into the left pocket, he pumped his fist in victory. 

“Do you believe it’s possible to find the one for you somewhere out there?” Mic asked curiously from behind him. He turned around, slightly irked this conversation was still rolling, but he wasn’t going to blow Mic off. The guy was too nice! “I mean, sure,” he replied thoughtfully, “but I can’t just look for ‘the one’ in every single person I date.” 

Rock Lock nodded as he shoved Vlad out of the way to do his turn at the pool table. “I gotchu. You don’t date to marry; you date for fun. You’re still young, so it’s different for guys like us.”He took a shot at a blue ball, grinning when it rolled into the left pocket. 

“Exactly!” Keigo laughed, happy someone was seeing things from his perspective finally. “See? He gets it! I’m way too young and at the top of my game to be tied down right now.”

Fatgum turned to him, adding more of his two cents. “Be that as it may, Keigo,” he argued, “and while I totally respect our differences here, don’t you think you sound just a lil’...I don’t know…” He trailed off, looking for the right word. 

“Cynical?” Aizawa finished. Everyone’s eyes trained on him to which he passively shrugged. “What? He needed a word, I gave him one.” 

Keigo was irked at his friends’ assumptions about him, especially Fatgum. So what if he felt this way? So what if he liked his freedom and his sex? So what if he jumped from relationship to relationship to avoid thinking about you and being alone? It was no one’s business but his. “I’m just being honest,” he scoffed, downing his third beer of the night. 

“And I get that!” Fatgum replied, putting his hands up in defense. Sensing that his friend was feeling attacked, he put a hand on Keigo’s shoulder. “You’re totally entitled to feel how you feel, Keigo. And you’re right: you’re young, attractive, wealthy, and the second most popular pro in Japan. You’ve got brand deals, international fame…you’re the total package! A complete bachelor.” 

Keigo cringed slightly, not sure if he liked being called that. “But one day, all of this ain’t gonna be enough for you,” Fatgum continued a soft look in his eyes. “You’re gonna want something different. Someone who you can trust to love you and not judge you to share your life with.”

He squeezed Keigo’s shoulder, and Keigo felt like he was getting advice from his father. “Trust me; those bachelor days don’t last forever, my friend.” 

That night after going home to his penthouse, his relationships with you and Sakura sat on Keigo’s tipsy, fuzzy mind. Even as he sits here now, waiting for his girlfriend to finish up, he reflects on them heavily. While both have their fair share of positives, he also knows he could never have what he has with you with Sakura. 

He’s known you since middle school! Since the days of acne, schoolyard fights, and other adolescent cringe. You know him inside and out: all the ugly; the bad; the flaws that make him Keigo. You know of his hurts and pains; the childhood trauma that sometimes has him waking up in the middle of the night; the insecurities he has in himself that sometimes get him down. Plus, you understand the difficulties, horrors, and uncertainties that come with being a pro.

You understand why he stays away from romance and steers clear from falling in love. Sakura could never understand any of this, and he is sure if he tries to explain any of this to her, it’d turn her away for good. 

“Keigo?” 

Keigo jumps, nearly having a heart attack at the sound of Sakura standing in his bedroom. She’s dressed in a pale pink sundress that pairs well with her hair which cascades down her back in waves. She looks like a beautiful, pink angel wearing sandals and with lips that remind Keigo of berries.  “You alright?” she questions, worry in her eyes; those eyes like the cleanest, purest waters. 

Quickly, he stands and clears his throat. No time to reflect on his future and lament his love life. He has a wedding to go to. “Yeah,” he assures her with a smile. As if throwing him a bone, his phone dings, signaling the arrival of the car he ordered twenty minutes ago. “Good, the car is around the corner. We should head downstairs.” 

He goes to Sakura and wraps an arm around her lower waist. He presses a kiss to her lips, breathing in her scent of rose-scented perfume. “You look amazing, by the way. Maybe those two hours in the bathroom were what you needed.”

Sakura laughs and nudges him as they venture down the winding staircase to catch their ride. 

************

Fatgum and Haruko’s wedding reception is thrown in downtown Musutafu at the largest park in the city.

When Keigo gets out of the car and helps Haruko out of the backseat, he can see his friend broke his bank for the occasion. During wedding rehearsals (which occurred a week before the wedding and Fatgum’s bachelor party), their chosen portion of the park wasn’t yet decorated or littered with guests. But now, the place looks like something out of a damn Disney movie. 

A trail of white satin leads to the area under a canopy of trees winded with fairy lights where the bride and groom will soon stand in front of seats reserved for specific guests from the front to the back.

A few yards away, and a walk away from the park’s parking lot, are the bar, bathrooms, and dance floor littered with white table-clothed tables and chairs for after the wedding reception. Among all of that are rolling hills of freshly cut, green grass and gazebos that will make for great photos. A few white tents litter the area as well, two of which Keigo is sure are reserved for the bride and groom. 

When Keigo and Sakura walk into the wedding hand-in-hand, people are already setting up. A live band sets up their instruments while the priest stands at his post, reading over his lines. Guests are busy finding their seats, among them being fellow pro heroes, Fatgum’s and Haruko’s family and friends outside of the hero industry, and some UA students Keigo recognizes. 

He instantly sees Ejriou Kirishima and Tamaji Amijiki, Fatgum’s prodigies. He winks at the two UA students, earning an overly-excited wave from Kiri in his suit while Tamaki looks like he wishes he wasn’t there. Off to the side near the punch bowls, Hitoshi Shinso is kneeling in front of little Eri, Aizawa and Mic’s daughter, fixing up her dress littered with blooming flowers as she giggles. 

“Let’s get a drink,” Keigo suggests to Sakura to which she agrees. As they walk over to the mini bar for water or maybe a soda, Keigo is immediately ambushed by his friends. Yu aka Mt. Lady, in her normal form, practically runs over to them in a flowing purple dress and her creamy blonde hair tied in a French braid. “Heeey!” she sing-songs, already tipsy with champagne. “There’s my favorite couple!” 

She throws herself at them, nearly breaking Keigo’s neck. “You say that about every couple you know, Yu,” he grunts while Sakura giggles, hugging her back. Yu pouts. “Well, I can’t help that I love love!” she protests. “Baby, tell Keigo to stop bullying me!” 

On cue, Nemuri aka Ms. Midnight steps into the scene with her beautiful and busty self. She decided to go for a nice cobalt blue dress with a slit at the thigh while her hair is pinned back into a curly updo. “My, look at the sights here,” she purrs playfully. She gives Sakura a hug. “You look absolutely amazing, darling. That dress goes with your hair so much.”

Sakura blushes, happy with the compliment. Nemuri smirks at Keigo, a hand on her hip. “Hawks, you’re looking quite dapper today. I’m not used to seeing you without your goggles or a box of fried chicken in your hands.” 

Keigo raises a brow at her, wondering why she wants violence so early in the day. “And I see you ditched the kinky collar for today’s festivities,” he retorts, nodding at her neck. “That’s sayin’ you didn’t bring it with you.” 

“Oh, we did!” Yu says a little too loudly. “Nemuri insisted we take it with us for later.” Nemuri’s face turns as pink as Sakura’s hair while Keigo gives a big, bellied laugh, leaning back as he does. “Alright, alright, take that horny shit somewhere else,” Rumi grumbles, stepping over to shoo the two women away. Yu sticks her tongue out at the bunny hero, but leaves with Nemuri anyway, a hand on her waist. 

Rumi eyes Keigo and Sakura, a playful smirk on her face adorned in soft makeup for the occasion. She went for a one-shouldered red dress that stops just above her muscular thighs and pumps that make her much taller than Keigo. But even with her normal height, the girl is an amazon. “Well, fancy seein’ you two here.” 

“You too, cottontail,” Keigo replies, giving her that same sly smirk. “Where’s your date at?” Rumi gets a devilish look in her eyes as she sips her glass of champagne. “Oh, I’ll be findin’ her after the reception.”  

“And you call Yu and Nemuri horny,” he scoffs. Sakura suddenly taps him on the shoulder, pointing at a nearby outhouse. “Keigo, I’m gonna go to the bathroom real quick before the reception starts.”

He nods and they share a short kiss before he watches her walk away. Rumi watches her too before her eyes tick back to Keigo. “She looks really nice today. Surprised you even let us see her.” She chuckles despite Keigo’s eye roll. “Y’know, for a while, I thought she wasn’t real.” 

“Gimme that,” Keigo grumbles, snatching the champagne glass from her and taking a sip. He wasn’t planning on drinking so early, but he might have to. “Anyway, where’s your roomie? If you’re here, ain’t she here too?” 

He looks for you among the guests, figuring you might be with Rei. “She’s runnin’ late for some reason,” Rumi explains. Keigo scowls at her in confusion and she passively shrugs, crossing her muscular arms. “Kenji came over when I left early to help with decorations, I dunno. Maybe call the girl and find out.” 

Keigo almost doesn’t want to. He has a feeling you’re late for a reason. Maybe you and Rei are fighting? Does he have to pull up and beat some ass, he wonders? Before he can contemplate calling, one of the wedding organizers hurries over to him and Rumi.

“There you are!” he sighs in relief. “We’re gonna start setting up for the reception, so we need you with the other best men.” Keigo winks at Rumi before sauntering off. “Duty calls!” he yells to her over his shoulder. “See you later on the floor!” 

Quickly, he is whisked over to the reception area where most of the guests are seated and the band is readying to begin. When he shows up with the other best men, most of them being pros that he knows, he claps his hand with Fatgum and congratulates him on soon being a married man which Fatgum, in his suit, nearly cries about (the man is very emotional). Afterward, he stands at his post with the others while the bridesmaids face them from the other side where Haruko will soon be. 

Taking advantage of the freedom he has now, he slides his phone out of his pocket and calls you. You don’t pick up on the first ring which is unusual for you unless you’re at work. So Keigo immediately knows something is up. 

You pick up on the fourth ring. “Hello?” you answer, sounding less than pleased. Hearing your biting tone, warning alarms begin to blare in Keigo’s head. Maybe he really will have to beat some ass. Where’s Dabi at today? Maybe he’d be able to help Keigo bust some ass if he the pro can successfully bribe the warden. 

“Hey, where you at?” he whispers into the phone before he can get any other murderous thoughts. “The wedding is starting soon.” You sigh in frustration, making his stomach roil anxiously. “Rei lost his wallet, so we’re gonna be late,” you explain in a huff. “Just save me a seat at the bar when it ends. And take pictures.” 

Though Keigo is disappointed in the outcome of things so far, he promises to do so and hangs up before the wedding can start. It does so about fifteen minutes later. As soon as the band begins their rendition of “Here Comes the Bride”, Keigo’s stomach drops and he stands rigid as if he’s the one getting married.

Fatgum stands with the priest, his hands folded behind his back and trying to appear calm, but Keigo can see that the man is sweating through his suit. Eri comes out in her cute, frilly dress and sprinkles flowers along the floor before she’s scooped up by Aizawa and is sat down in one of the guest chairs. 

Then, finally, Haruko enters with her father, locked arm in arm. The guests stand and turn to the bridge, watching as she waltzes in wearing her flowing white dress adorned in lace and holding a bouquet of red roses that match her waves of red hair. She walks slowly, taking her sweet time. 

But as she does, Keigo notices something: while everyone’s eyes are on her, including Fatgum, her eyes stay strictly transfixed on her soon-to-be-husband, her stare never breaking for a moment. It is as if he is the only one in the room to her. No one else matters. “Isn’t she beautiful?” he hears one of the guests whisper to the other. 

He blinks and suddenly, he is not looking at Haruko in her wedding dress, but at you. You stand there, glowing and radiant in white, your pretty brown eyes staring up at him as you stand together in front of the priest, ready to become one. 

‘Yeah,’ he thinks to himself with a soft smile. ‘She absolutely is.’ 

[hiddenmoonbeam]

yesterday's comphet awards made me think about how i've known for like 10 years that i'm more into women than men, so this isn't the same but either case i clearly needed to write this down so:

i'm 31, almost 32 now, and i've never had a relationship or anything that comes with that. i'm queer, and i live in one of the safest countries for people like us. but i don't know how gay girls find each other. when i finally worked up the courage to try dating apps shortly before the pandemic hit i only had girls as an option because guys felt too scary. i've tried several times. but living in sweden clearly doesn't mean it's easy anyway, at least not when it's in the north because there are so few i keep swiping through everyone until there's no more available. and then you barely match with anyone, and when you do no one speaks first, and when you do talk she stops responding... and the few dates i have been on didn't lead anywhere, because of course it takes time to find the right one, and being on the ace spectrum is so confusing because i don't know if i just need to give it more time but i guess if we don't even bond as friends it's probably not going to change later either...

anyway, so frustration has twice made me add men on tinder as well. because maybe i just need to give them a chance too right? and there are sooo many, so many, jesus, with only girls i had like... "5 people liked you" and within minutes of having guys too there were 99+

so i swipe and i try I TRY ALRIGHT but. men. are so. so uninteresting. i feel nothing. but i don't feel super much about random women either, sure women are generally prettier, it's much easier for me to think a woman is hot than a man, but still, maybe it's the demi thing, maybe i would feel more with time, i have had feelings for guys before so??? (and some specific fictional men are so fine, so maybe, right??)

yeah so. this year (after several overwhelming chats with different guys and one awkward date with one i definitely didn't want to meet again) i ended up forcing myself to date a guy the entire summer. he was nice, and also inexperienced and slow, and he knew i was unsure but i still felt like such an asshole. because in truth i wanted to go home whenever we met. i cried before and after. but i didn't know if it was because i was scared in general because everything was new and i have shit self-esteem and being demi is so difficult when i want so much and i was so worried i'd end it too soon and lose the chance i had + depression and anxiety flared up so bad because of all this so like. everything was shit.

like, in hindsight it's so obvious it wasn't right. it made me spiral deeper into depression again. but i can't really regret it either because maybe i needed this to realize some things, and now at least i've done more than 2 dates with the same person, i've talked with someone about (lack of) experience and how we feel, i've had someone interested in me who wanted more if i'd wanted it too. i've felt excited at the possibility of being kissed, even asked for it finally just to know, and yeah it was just a small peck and it was boring and barely counts tbh but it was something and now i've done that. and i've also had the very weird experience of a guy sitting close with his arm around me and gently brushing his fingers over my arm, and asking if the closeness turned me on... and while it was okay and nice, like he wasn't creepy or anything, i still felt nothing. so while well aware that yeah he was definitely feeling things, i truthfully said "no". which was probably an important experience to have also, to have done that, and to have met a guy who didn't make me feel unsafe about or because of it. because that's another thing, thinking that maybe my hesitations about men was only a fear of ending up with a bad one. and maybe that still plays a part, but also.... god i'm so clearly more gay than bi.

and i think i really did know that already, yet i did all of this anyway, forced myself to try. because finding a girlfriend had proven so fucking difficult, maybe i simply did have to be less picky and more open about men also.

idk how to end this, i don't have a well-thought-out point to make, and i dunno if anyone will even read all this but i'll post it for myself anyway. and just in case someone who ends up reading it feels similar, maybe you're in your 20s or later and feel like everyone else gets to experience romance and sex while you're left behind... well. maybe it doesn't help, but you're not alone. and i'm not alone either, even though it feels like it. just wanted to say that <3

also next time i get tinder im back to only girls.

[ghost-in-the-hall]

A Weekend Away (Falk Maria Schlegel x Fem! Reader) - FLUFF/SMUT

WARNINGS: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, MINORS DNI, MDNI, 18+, pnv sex, fingering, praise kink, unprotected sex. Mostly fluff, mutual pining, Falk being a sweetheart

A/N: I FINALLY GOT THIS DONE!! This was a request I got a while ago from a wonderful anon who wanted some Powerwolf smut, IM HERE TO DELIVER!!

Prompt: "Every thought I have about you is improper

Thank you so much for the request, I hope you like it!! ❤️❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"(Y/N)." You glanced up at your name being called from Attila's office.

"Coming." You respond, finishing the sentence you were writing before leaving your desk. You approached his desk where he was buried in paperwork like usual. 

"I was supposed to be attending a conference with Father Falk this weekend, I'm going to need you to go in my place." He didn't bother to look up from the form he was filling out, a blessing on your end. He wouldn't be able to see your wide eyed, flustered gaze.

"Does, um… Is Father Falk aware of this?" He shook his head. "And the rest of the high clergy?"

"They all already have prior engagements." You nod. You stood there in silence for a moment, searching for any last ditch attempt at escaping. "What are you not telling me?" Now you were in trouble, he had a knack for knowing when you weren't being fully honest with him. Attila set his pen down, giving you his full, undivided attention. "Has Father Falk treated you poorly?"

"Oh, no, it's nothing like that." You should have just accepted his request and left. Attila always had a way of prying your deepest secrets out of you, and now was no different. Your best option was trying to skirt around the root of the problem until you could find a way to slink off. "Father Falk has never been anything but kind towards me. You've known him much longer than I have, I'm sure you're aware that he's a perfect gentleman." You chuckle awkwardly, a memory of Falk holding a door open for you flashed through your mind. His kind eyes, bright smile, and gentle voice. You felt yourself starting to sweat. You swallowed thickly, trying to force a smile into your face. Attila raised an eyebrow at you, noticing your flustered demeanor in an instant.

"I see." He gives you a knowing smirk. Shit. He waves you on, "if you have any questions about your duties this weekend I'm sure Falk will have no issue answering them for you." You nod, politely dismissing yourself. "Oh, and (Y/N)..." You freeze, "try and relax." He chuckles softly as you flit out the door. You made your way down to Falk's office, knuckles tentatively knocking against the door frame.

"Ah, (Y/N), what a pleasant surprise." He studies you for a moment under his kind gaze. You notice him glance at the clock on the wall. "I would like to warn you I do have to leave shortly, but what can I help you with, my dear?"

"Father Attila sent me, I guess I'm going in his place for the conference." You found yourself nervously swaying on your heels, far more focused on the floor than the man sitting in front of you.

"Oh good, I was worried I was going to end up going by myself." He chuckles softly. "Well, I suggest you bring formal attire, we usually get invited to a lot of dinners. We'll leave in about an hour." You hurried back to your room to pack, not wanting to keep him waiting. You sighed as you shrugged on your backpack, dragging your other suitcase behind you. You jumped back slightly as you opened the door, being greeted with the image of Falk standing there preparing to knock on your door.

“Oh God, am I late?” You ask frantically, checking the time.

“Not at all!” He rushes to reassure you, wildly waving his hands as if to brush off any remaining anxiety. “I just wanted to help with your bags, it’s a long walk down to the garage.” He chuckles, you feel your shoulders relax. He moves cautiously, not wanting to startle you any further. He takes your suitcase, the two of you walking in silence down the hallway. "Are you nervous?" He tries to break up the silence with a single question.

"A little." You chuckle. "Every time I've had to go to one of these conferences it's always been as a mediator. I'm sure you're well aware, but Father Attila has a tendency to be a bit abrasive." Falk laughs and nods.

"That's one way to put it." He glances over at you, eyes trailing over your frame for a moment. "I'm glad he asked you to go in his place, I couldn't have asked for better company." You blush, smiling down at the ground to hopefully hide your bashful expression.

"It'll be nice to spend some time with you as well, Father Falk." You loaded your bags into his car and set out on your way. You kept to yourself mostly during the ride there, you and Falk on friendly enough terms to be comfortable around him but you didn't have the slightest idea what to talk to him about. Everyone always marveled over the fact that you spoke with Attila effortlessly, they seem to neglect the fact that you had been his assistant for the better part of a decade in order to reach the level of comfortability the two of you had together. You reached for the radio, wanting at least something to break up the silence in the car. You jumped slightly as Falk's hand collided with yours. Your eyes snapped in his direction, worried he would be upset with you. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-" Your voice trailed off at the sight of his gentle gaze studying your face

"Great minds think alike, huh?" He chuckles, motioning for you to continue. You hesitantly reached out for the radio, taking one final glance up at him to make sure it was really okay before selecting a station. You picked something you felt like you could mutually agree on before allowing yourself to sink back into the warm leather of the car. You noticed a puzzled expression cross his features, "this is what you normally listen to?" You shake your head with a giggle.

"No, but I won't make you suffer through my music." You joke.

"Well then, how am I supposed to learn anything about you?" He asks with a small smirk, the mischievous glint in his eye impossible to miss.

"You could always just ask me." You turned yourself slightly in your seat to face him. "I'm not that scary, am I?"

"Scary? No. Pretty enough to make me forget how to string a proper sentence together? Absolutely." You watched as his eyes widened slightly, the realization that he had just said that out loud rapidly setting in. "Sorry."

"There's no need to apologize, I'm flattered that you think I'm pretty." You both sat in silence for a moment.

Falk cleared his throat, "so, are you more of a dog or a cat person?" You can't help but laugh at the question. You watch a smile creep across his lips, "what?"

"Nothing, I just didn't expect that to be the first question you asked me." You let your head lull to the side to look at him. You don't think you had ever seen him in casual clothes, and it was definitely a sight you could get used to. "I'd say I'm probably more of a dog person." He breathes out a laugh as he nods.

"Good answer." The two of you went back and forth asking questions for pretty much the whole car ride. You were honestly a bit shocked to discover just how much the two of you had in common. You pulled up to the inn you would be staying in, the car filled with the jovial sounds of laughter and excited conversations. "Father, welcome back." The plump old woman at the check in counter greets Falk with a bright smile. 

"Happy to be back Esther." He motions to you. "This is Father Attila's assistant, (Y/N), she'll be staying with me this weekend." Esther looks between the two of you.

"Oh goodness. Well, I would just like to let you know that the room you booked for only had one bed." She grimaces slightly as she informs you.

"Are there any rooms available with two beds?" You noticed him pale slightly as she shook her head.

"Unfortunately we're in the height of tourist season right now, we're full up I'm afraid." She ponders over your options for a moment. "It looks like all of our cots are already in use as well… your room has a couch, maybe that's something? I'm incredibly sorry Father, I wish there was more than I could do. I'd be more than happy to give you a refund if you'd like to try booking elsewhere-"

"Nonsense, Esther, we've been coming here for years, we want to give you our business." He smiles warmly at her. "We'll work with the couch, don't worry." He pats the desk, trying his best to reassure her that it was fine. You lug your bags up to the room. It was surprisingly spacious for an inn; fresh white linens matched the curtains that billowed in the breeze of the open balcony door, a small seating area with a couch and two matching chairs occupied one corner of the room. You jumped slightly as Falk rested a hand on your shoulder, "you make yourself comfortable, I'll take the couch."

"Oh, Father, I can take the couch, it's really no problem." You could tell by the expression he was giving you that there was absolutely no changing his mind. "Are you really sure? You should be well rested for the conference."

"I'll be just fine." He gently pats your head with a smile as he walks past you. "And, (Y/N)?" You give him a hum of affirmation. "It's just Falk." He chuckles.

"Right," you grimaced slightly, remembering all the times he had tried to correct you out of using honorifics with him, "sorry." He smirks slightly as he sets up some of his work on the small table. You sit on the couch next to him, letting the warm air wash over you from the outside. "This place is really nice."

"We've been coming here for years, Esther used to attend our church actually. Not to mention, since it is tourist season for them, they set off fireworks on Friday's which we can see from our room." He breathes out a laugh at your excited expression, eyes studying your features for another moment. "Would it be alright if I took you out to dinner tonight?"

You nod, giving him a bashful smile. "I'd like that." After finishing up some paperwork the two of you got ready. Dressed in your finest formal attire Falk brought you to one of the nicest restaurants in town. It was beautiful, but the atmosphere felt stiff compared to what you were used to. You felt like everyone in the room could tell that you didn't come from a lavish background and it honestly made you feel a little self conscious. You set down your menu with a sigh, nervously fidgeting with the edge of the tablecloth. You glanced up only to see Falk peering over his glasses at you. He sets down his menu, stopping your waiter as he passes by. He explains that the two of you had gotten called away to handle an emergency so you would be giving up your table, tipping the man before motioning for you to follow him. You eye him curiously as the two of you leave the restaurant.

"It was a bit stuffy in there, don't you think?" A soft smile creeps its way across your lips as he offers you his arm. "I think I have a better idea." It was obvious that Falk new this town like the back of his hand, weaving through streets and across a park until the overly serious tone of the fancy part of town subsided, giving way to a beachfront paradise that was filled with laughter, pings and whirrs of the boardwalk arcade and the bright flashing lights of the midway that seemed to stretch out endlessly before you. "Come on, let's go have some fun." Your hand slipped into his effortlessly as the two of you darted off into the crowd. Your night was filled with fried food, sweet treats, and excellent company with Falk by your side. You couldn't help but laugh as he handed you over the biggest cloud of cotton candy you had ever seen.

"You know, you really didn't have to do all of this." You were drawn in by his soft gaze, having him look at you the way was, he made you feel like you were the only two people in the universe.

"I never get to do things like this with you, I want to make the most of it." Warm fingers brushed across your cheek, carefully readjusting some stray hair that had wandered into your face. You felt your cheeks grow warm at the sensation of his touch, undoubtedly a blushing mess before him. You continue down the midway, Falk chuckling at the sight of people staring at your vastly overdressed appearance. The two of you strolled to the end of the boardwalk, leaning on the rail to look over the ocean below. The moon skirted just above the horizon, the energetic sounds of the midway fading away to the quiet lapping of the waves against the posts. “I’m glad to see you’ve relaxed a little.” He smiles at you

“You’re very…” you pondered for a moment to think of the right word to use. “Easy to be around.” You shifted slightly, your hand brushing against his. He hooks his pinky with yours, both of you silently staring ahead in hopes the other wouldn’t notice your flustered expression.

“Can I tell you something?” You give him an affirming hum, hand slowly drifting on top of his, you carefully pushing your fingers through his. "Getting to spend today with you was… incredible.” He chuckles nervously, his breath shaky as he lets out. You smile, shifting closer to him.

“Falk?” You say his name softly, eliciting a hum from him. “I’m really happy I get to be here with you.” He gives your hand a gentle squeeze. He glances down at you, a tender fondness in his gaze. His eyes drift down to your lips, warm breath bouncing off your skin. You slowly straighten yourself up, lips barely out of reach of his own. Your eyes meet his once more, an almost expectant expression on your face. You wanted Falk to kiss you more than anything else, all of the small lingering touches and flirtatious comments over your time of knowing him building up an impeccable sense of want for the man that stood before you. He clears his throat, turning back to look out over the water, not wanting to accidentally take things too far. You shivered in the cool ocean breeze, goosebumps forming on your skin. A warm arm wraps itself around your shoulder.

“Come on, before you freeze.” He offers you a chuckle and a kind smile, allowing you to snuggle into his side as the two of you lazily made your way back to his car. The drive back to the inn was mostly silent, a slight sting in your chest as you thought about how you would have liked this night to play out. “I’m sorry if I made things awkward.” He states quietly, eyes focused on the road before him.

“You didn’t.” You tried to reassure him. “I had a really nice time today." You watch him hesitantly reach out, fingers trembling slightly as they ghost over your skin. You take his hand in yours, feeling his muscles relax at your touch.

“I meant what I said back there, I can't remember the last time I've had so much fun.” He swallowed thickly, forcing out a nervous chuckle “I’m sure you don’t remember the first day we met, but I haven’t been able to keep you out of my mind since that day.” You let out a chuckle, you remember that day well. You had just started as Attila’s assistant, a position you were beyond nervous to take on. You had gotten them both drinks while they were having a meeting in his office only for you to spill Falk’s drink all over him. You were too stunned and embarrassed to speak. You felt tears start to prick at your eyes, your mouth moving but no sounds seemed to be coming out. Falk laughed, standing up and giving you a soft pat on the top of your head. “Trust me, a little spilt water isn’t anything to fuss over.” The second your eyes met his, you were lost in them, warm brown irises stared back into yours with a gentleness you had never experienced first hand. He takes your hand, giving it a firm shake. “Falk." It took you a moment to find your voice.

“(Y/N)," you introduce yourself. Snapping yourself from your hypnotized state you started to panic all over again, "I am so sorry about this Father, would you like me to get you a towel?” He waves you off with a grin.

“Don’t trouble yourself, I’ll be alright.” You hadn’t forgotten his smile even years later, the same smile that was ghosting over his lips now. “You walked in wearing that cute little sundress you used to wear all the time, the one with the sunflowers all over it. I don’t know if you noticed but I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you the second you walked in the room.” He chuckles.

“I was so embarrassed.” You hide your face in your hands, both of you struggling to contain your laughter. “I still haven’t lived that down." Your shoulder pressed against his as the two of you turned into the inn's parking lot. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze. You breathe out a laugh, "you were always so kind, even before we got to know each other… it's one of the things I like so much about you." The two of you shared a bashful grin before heading inside. You sat on the edge of the bed, smoothing out the plush comforter under your fingers as you watched Falk set up the couch for the night. "I really don't mind swapping with you." You state bluntly. He turns to you with a smile as he drops a pillow on one end of the couch.

"You know I'm not going to let you do that." He approaches you slowly, kneeling down in front of you so he can meet your eyes. "I'll be just fine, try and get some rest, we have a big day tomorrow." A warm hand cups your cheek, thumb languidly running over your skin. You nodded, giving him a soft smile before the two of you reluctantly part for the night. Your gaze drifted over to Falk, body haphazardly sprawled out, the sound of his quiet snoring filling the room, after hours of tossing and turning you finally noticed the welcomed heavy feeling of sleep settling behind your eyes. You drifted off into a dreamless sleep only to be awoken the next morning by the smell of coffee filling the room. You rolled over with a tired grumble, pushing your bed head haphazardly out of your face, keeping yourself buried in the bed's soft comforter. You rolled over to be met with the sight of Falk studying you, a gentle smile on his lips, reading glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, two cups of coffee sat before him on the table next to his folded up newspaper.

"Mornin'." You mumble, still processing being awake.

"Good morning." Falk can't help but chuckle at your disheveled state. "I brought you some coffee. You looked so peaceful I didn't want to disturb you." He picks up both cups, sitting on the edge of the bed. You take the warm mug in your hands, locking eyes with Falk as you bring it to your lips. Your nose reflexively scrunched up at the taste. "Not enough sugar?" You shake your head, he chuckles. "I'll keep that in mind for next time." He couldn't keep his eyes off you, his gaze held nothing short of pure adoration for the sight before him.

"How'd you sleep?" You set the mug on your nightstand, pulling your knees to your chest as you sit and talk with him.

"I slept just fine, the couch is surprisingly comfortable." He smiles despite the fact you knew he was lying. You could see the stiffness in his movements, the shifting of his position to try and subside the full ache in his body. He gently tilts your chin up with his index finger, "I know that look, I'm fine, I promise." You nod. 

"You're staring." You point out with a grin.

"Sorry." He lets out a bashful chuckle. "I just can't get over how beautiful you look right now." You blushed, laughing quietly as your gaze fell to your lap. The two of you sat and drank your coffee, quietly discussing the day ahead events. "I can't even begin to tell you how insufferable this man is, but try to grin and bear it the best you can. We mainly do business with his son, unfortunately this time he has to come in his son's place." He explains about the meeting you were currently getting ready to attend.

"Falk, you know my job is just to sit there and look pretty." You tease, he chuckles.

"If I remember correctly you have quite the sharp tongue, Schatz." You catch his gaze in the reflection of the mirror. A slight smirk on his lips, he definitely wasn't wrong. It was fairly often that you would get chastised by father Attila for your blunt attitude and quick wit. 

"I'll be on my best behavior." You smile, causing him to laugh. You hadn't expected that to be such a difficult promise to keep. You sat in the chair next to Falk, smiling through gritted teeth as the man on the opposing side of the desk cut off your train of thought for what must have been the tenth time in the last hour. You saw Falk’s eyes drift down to your hand, your pen about to crack in half you had such a tense grip on it. You hadn’t been able to get a single word in since the two of you arrived. You sat in the chair at Falk’s side, posture absolutely rigid as you struggled to hold your tongue. The three of you stood, Falk placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you towards the door. The second you were out of earshot of the man you began to complain. “I’ll never understand why it’s a necessity that I go to these meetings when I won’t be able to get a word in edgewise.”

“I warned you he was going to be difficult.” Falk reminds you with a chuckle. You fell into the passenger seat with a groan, slumping down in the seat. “You did a great job.”

“I didn’t do anything.” You rebuttal.

“You didn’t need to. You simply needed to gain experience dealing with difficult clients, which you succeeded in doing.” You nodded, he did have a point. “I don’t know about you but I think we earned the rest of the night off.” He offers with a smirk. You found yourselves sitting across from each other on the bed in your room, eating chinese food straight out of the container, an amused expression on Falk’s face as he listened to you ramble on about nothing in particular, he just enjoyed listening to the sound of your voice.

“What’s that look for?” You question him with a smirk.

He shakes his head, “it’s nothing… it’s just nice watching you finally open up.” You look away with a flustered expression. It felt almost effortless to be around Falk, his presence alone enough to put you completely at ease. Before you had a chance to respond you were cut off by the sounds of fireworks going off outside. Falk grabs your hand, tugging you in the direction of the balcony door. An arm slips around your waist as the two of you step out into the night. Bright bursts of blues, greens, and golds popped across the inky black sky. Your eyes widened, childlike amazement taking over your features. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re here with me.” Your body moved before you had a chance to think. Your arms slid over Falk’s shoulders, guiding his lips down to meet yours. His hands rested firmly on your waist, a surprised yet satisfied hum escaping him. Your mind finally caught up with your actions you suddenly pull back, fingers flying up to your lips in pure disbelief that you had just done that

“Falk, I am so sorry.” You desperately scrambled out an apology. “I don’t know what came over me.” Before you had a chance to panic even further his lips were on yours once again. One hand laced its way into your hair, the other securing itself around your back to keep you pressed close to him. Your fingers slid into his soft hair, deepening the kiss as much as you could. Both of you part with a breathless sigh.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He says through a quiet chuckle. You wave a sarcastic, chastising finger at him.

“And here I thought you would know better than to give into improper thoughts.” You can’t help but giggle as he looms over your much smaller form.

“Schatz, every thought I have about you is improper.” You’re met with a toothy grin and a devious look in Falk’s eye. You let out a startled squeak as you’re suddenly lifted from the ground, Falk’s arms slipping behind your thighs and guiding your legs around his waist. His lips trapped yours in another mind numbing kiss, both of you laughing as he drops you on the mattress. Hot breath trailed down your neck, goosebumps littering your skin at his slightest touch. His hands slid under your shirt, successfully pushing up the fabric in the process until he was easily able to pull it off over your head. You situated yourself on your knees, hurriedly undoing the buttons of his shirt. His lips ghost over yours, a smirk crossing his features as he keeps himself just out of reach. He sits at your side, wrapping an arm around your waist and guiding you to straddle his lap as you haphazardly push the clothing off of his shoulders, fingers trailing down his exposed chest. You looked at your trembling hand, unsure if there was some sort of unspoken line you shouldn't cross. Falk's hand completely engulfs yours, eyes snapping to his in an instant. "We don't have to keep going if you don't want to." He says in a gentle, reassuring tone.

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just…" he raises a curious eyebrow at you. If you were being completely honest all of this was a bit overwhelming. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't dreamed about what this moment would be like, your late night fantasies were often filled with the thought of Falk. But now that this moment was no longer a figment of your imagination you didn't have the slightest idea where to begin. "I think I might be a little nervous." You let out a flustered giggle. Strong fingers kneaded at your thighs, a patient smile resting on his lips.

"There's nothing wrong with being nervous, Schatz. Just try to relax and let me take care of you, think you can do that for me?" You nod, relinquishing full control over to him. He carefully grabs your wrist, pressing the hand that was barely grazing over his skin flush against his chest. You felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat thrum under your palm. He lifted your chin slightly with his knuckle, golden brown eyes locked intently on your own. You felt him fumbling with the zipper on your skirt, he breathed out a laugh. "See? You're not the only one that's nervous." He jokes with a chuckle. You felt your body relax at the sight, you felt safe with him. You help him with the zipper, shimmying out of your skirt. You can't help but smirk slightly, noticing his eyes completely glued to the sight of your ass finally being freed from the right confines of your clothing. He reaches out for you, a delighted squeal passing your lips as he playfully pushes you onto the bed. You bite your lip, fully entranced by the sight of him crawling on top of you to give you some much needed attention. You gasp at the feeling of his teeth grazing over your exposed skin before he got to work biting and sucking what you were positive were going to be deep purple bruises come tomorrow morning.

"Fuck." You tossed your head back against the mattress, you could feel him smirk as he relentlessly toyed with a rather sensitive spot of your body. A sinful groan tumbled from his lips as he ground his hips against yours, a noticeable bulge pressed against your already soaked core. A hand slipped between your legs, rubbing slow, languid circles around your clit that had you mewling and shuddering beneath him. Your breath hitched as he effortlessly slipped a finger between your velvety folds, giving your aching cunt a moment of relief. He watched your expression carefully, paying close attention to how you responded to his expert fingers. You felt a knot beginning to form in your stomach, rapidly winding itself tighter, bringing you right to the brink of your climax. You whined as he pulled out of you, growing need pooling endlessly in your core, the feeling only growing stronger as the threat of your orgasm subsided. You watched with wide eyes as he slipped the digit into his mouth, reveling at the taste of your juices on his tongue. You felt your cheeks heat up at the sight, unable to look away as he smirks down at you.

"So wet for me already," he chuckles darkly, "such a good little Maus I have." Whatever was left of the clothing he was wearing was quickly discarded, the feeling of him teasing the tip of his hardened length at your entrance sending a shiver of anticipation through your body. The two of you engaged in a silent conversation, letting Falk know that you were absolutely ready for anything he had in store for you. Your cried out as he slowly pushed himself inside of you, a slight sting from him stretching you out. You felt every inch of him enter you at his agonizing pace. He grabs your jaw, your gaze snapping back to meet his in an instant. "Eyes on me Maus." Your head was already spinning, a smile dominating your lips as you struggled to follow his orders. He gradually began to pick up his pace, every snap of his hips eliciting desperate, feverish moans as you dug your nails into his back. Your voice harmonized with his, low gravelly groans that only made your body hotter the longer you listened to them. "Sheiße." He curses under his breath, a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead, his strokes gradually losing their relentless rhythm. Your lips found his, taking the plump flesh between your teeth in a quick nip that sent a shiver down Falk's spine. He straightened himself up from his position on top of you, grabbing your hips roughly and slamming into you, determined to make you finish before he did. 

"Falk… please…" You gasp out breathlessly, your mind numb with pleasure but it still wasn't enough to send your orgasm crashing over the edge. His fingers were back on your clit in an instant, soft spoken words of praise only adding to your dizzying headrush. He leans down, kissing you deeply as the ever tightening knot in your stomach finally snaps. You let out a muffled scream against his lips, your back arching up off the bed, your chest pressed flush against his. His thrusts became sloppy, any semblance of a rhythm gone as he let his own climax wash over him, both of you collapsing in bed next to each other, the sounds of your labored breathing filling the otherwise silent room. You felt a wet sob start to bubble up in your throat, tears pricking at your eyes as you came down from your high, various thoughts and feelings racing through your mind left you entirely overwhelmed. You sucked in a breath in an attempt to steady yourself, but Falk already noticed that something was wrong.

"Schatz? What's wrong? I didn't hurt you, did I?" You shook your head, knowing that if you tried to speak you would just end up crying. He pulls you into his chest, rubbing your back soothingly. 

"I'm sorry, just give me a second." You tried to force a laugh.

"Take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere." He holds you close, skin sticking to his in a tangled mess of limbs.

"You're not going to… stop speaking to me when we get back to the Abbey, are you?" Memories of past situationships blared in your mind, planting a seed of doubt in you. In the past it was always the same. Someone would make you believe they loved you only for them to leave once they got what they wanted.

"Of course not sweetheart." He places a soft kiss on your forehead. "Unfortunately you're stuck with me now." He chuckles. You smile, breathing out a laugh as you place a kiss to his collarbone. He clears his throat, shifting nervously. "I think I might be in love with you." He states quietly, his voice shaking in a way that was impossible to miss.

"Yeah?" You smile up at him, resting your chin on his chest. "How do you know?" The two of you exchange a bashful grin.

"Four years ago…" he starts his story, mulling over the details for a moment before continuing. "You were making some huge spectacle because Attila did something to piss you off." You laughed, that definitely sounded like something you would do. "You left the Abbey, you said you were going to some concert and you were going to stay the night at a friend's place or something. I don't remember all the details." He began playing with your hair, twisting a strand between his fingers. "You called me at one in the morning in hysterics asking if I could come pick you up. The entire way there I wasn't thinking about how tired I was or about the three hours drive ahead of me. The only thing that I could think of was whether or not you were safe, if anything had happened to you there would have been hell to pay when I got there. When I pulled up… and you rushed into my arms… and I just got the chance to hold you. I think that was when I knew." You place a soft kiss to his chest before nuzzling your face against him.

"I felt so bad asking you to drive all that way." You laugh quietly. You trace your fingers over the intricate tattoos on his arms before resting your hand on the side of his face, languidly running your thumb across his cheek. "I love you, Falk."

"I love you too, Schatz." He returns the confession with a smile, pulling you into a lingering kiss before the two of you drifted off in each other's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @ramblingoak @mustluvecho @moss-the-moth @the-hole-in-terzos-shoe @kissingghouls @jennmakesitweird @gothdaddyissues @jumpcauseimfroggy @belnovacaine @iamsarahsaysso @angellayercake @vampghoulette @rabidghoul @littlegirlsdontplaynice (I think I got everyone if I missed you let me know!!)

[sgcairo]

CAIRO BLESS ME WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE, what is pantalone’s reaction to dottore’s self isolation episodes? Bcz he seems one who fade for 5 months and come back. So I wonder if busy egoist man like pantalone would say something about it

I HAVE COME TO BLESS YOU WITH MY BIG BRAIN-

Oh, Pantalone is pissed about Dottore just going off and straight up vanishing for indefinite amounts of time. If Dottore vanishes for more than a few days (after their official 'oh god we have feelings???' moments), Pantalone will come after his ass. And he will drag him out of the lab to take a shower, eat some food, and lay down for a little while, because Dottore looks like a drowned rat if he goes for too long without taking a break for his basic needs, not to mention that he gets crabby. It stresses Pantalone out, and he will not let Dottore go off and ignore him for longer than a few days.

In the more severe cases, Pantalone's stress and (though he won't admit it) anxiety are through the roof. Which isn't good for his heart, but Dottore isn't there to tell him that. Even if Pantalone comes to the lab, he's turned away, and he's not exactly comforted by the thought that Dottore is probably working himself half to death. He knows Dottore can take it, but he hates the weird feeling he gets when the Doctor doesn't come to pester him about finances or flirt incessantly until Pantalone forces him out.

While Pantalone is also busy, he's never that busy. He has time for other things outside of work, he sleeps and eats somewhat regularly, not to mention spends time with Anastasiy and keeps up with his social life.

But there's one particular instance that really pissed him off.

Dottore vanished for almost over a month, this time around. Not uncommon, but Pantalone hadn't heard a peep since the Tsaritsa tasked Dottore with a new project, not even a note to let him know that he'd need more finances. Weird. Every time he went to check on Dottore, the door was locked, and none of the clones would answer it, even when Pantalone threatened to break the door down. He couldn't break it down, clearly, but he could try.

Pantalone kept checking, but eventually caved, as there was no answer.

That is, until he heard a very not sneaky Doctor in his office in the middle of the night, from the loud footsteps and the loud bang of what he assumed was a knee on his furniture.

"Doctor, what the fuck are you doing in my office this late?"

"...Would you believe me if I said I was visiting Danya?"

"Perhaps. But it's late, and he's asleep. And you're destroying my furniture."

"Your "furniture" is too low to the ground, Regrator. And I wasn't gonna wake him up..."

"Mhm. Likely story. I take it that you wouldn't trip over the bed then too, and accidentally crush him?"

"...Shut up."

"No. Where have you been?"

"Working. The Tsaritsa doesn't like waiting, as I'm sure you very well know."

"For a month? That's excessive, even for you."

"Then you don't know me very well, Regrator. A month is the best case scenario."

"Fine. Maybe I don't, but I haven't seen you since you received your orders. Anastasiy has been asking about you every night."

"...I know. Time is money, Regrator, I couldn't afford to leave for a second. You know this."

"I do, and you sound exhausted. Come on, you can see him in the morning. You look like shit."

"Thanks, dear."

"You're welcome. I'll go run you a bath, go take off that monstrosity."

"It's called fashion."

"It's called fabric that looks like it's straight out of the circus donation box."

"...I hate you."

"The feeling's mutual."

Dottore fell asleep in the bath.

[sharksa-shivers]

Want an idea of the beginning dynamic? Aitey lol

(Early af group chat stuff lol, Kristy still getting used to things…Max just drags her into one and then Sharky after a while lmao)

Kristy: Look, i'm fucking terrified of him okay???

Kristy: How in the hell are you not??? Did you see what happened earlier??? With that fish??? And you're still so set on him being harmless??? THAT WAS HORRIFYING TO WATCH HONESTLY…

Max: Lmao, i never said sharky couldnt be intimidating or scary or anything, he hella fucking can if he reallt wants to

Max: thing is that last bit tho, "wants to" would be your key phrase lol. Sharkys chill as fuck 99% of the time…Also he's a giant puss and would coward the fuck out of doing any of thay shit your so scared of. He memes but hed never get over it mentally if he actually hurt somebody like that lmao

Max: he harmlesssssssss uwu, you juwt don't wanna fuckin listen again

Kristy: IM…ARE YOU SERIOUS????

(~Mr. Darktide Rising~ has been added to the group chat. Welcome!!)

Sharky: Yo

Sharky: ….Oh we're on this shavinksta again? Ok.

Kristy: MAX, WHAT THE FUCJ???????

Max: lol, needa get over it, i ain't lettin ya worm out of friendship that easy

Max: Sharky, tell krista something fuckin cool, legit, like whatever

Kristy: God fucking damnit Max!!!!!!! AND IT'S KRISTY

Sharky: Erghhhhhh, hmmmm…

Sharky:(sends a picture of packaged gel pens)I got some new glitter gel pens, can't wait to use these bad boys on some art.

Sharky:(texts picture of a blue rock)Also got this cool aquamarine rock earlier too. It's my birthstone so that's pretty neat. (March, if you were wondering)

Sharky:(sends bunny gifs and stickers)Also bunnies.🐰Bunnies are cool.🐇 You like bunnies Kristy? Pretty sure everybody does… Kristy: anxiety overwhelming, can't do this, fuck…

(Kristy - Has left the chat)

Sharky: ……..Oh, ok.

Max: Man, don't feel bad, just gotta keep trying…

Sharky: I shouldn't fucking have to keep trying to get some basic fucking respect but whatever…

Sharky: Never mind, fucking hell…Gonna draw, maybe rest. Dunno, just…I need to calm down, fucking hell…

Sharky: Fucking hate myself more and more every damn day…And I never actually fucking do anything to earn that…I haven't ever hurt anybody but everyone fucking hurts me…Sick and tired of it…

Max: Dude, fuck, cmon!!!

Sharky: Nah, i can't like…Handle this right now, i need to lay down, really upset now…Just want alone time…

Sharky: I know you want to fix it and i appreciate it Max but you can't fix everything, you can't. You just can't…And some people are always going to fucking hate me for what i am and i can't change that either…

Sharky: Ffs…So fucking done…

Max: Plz, just wait a minute!!!

Sharky: Anyway, laters, peace…

(~Mr. Darktide Rising~ has left the group chat)

Max: like fuckin hell i wont at least try to fix everything

Max: ……..This ain't over and i ain't deletin shit…Ima keep dragging both of you together until you get along on basic terms, this is fuckin ridiculous as fuck ------------- Yeah, so this is more a starting point lol Kristy at first is ABSOLUTELY PETRIFIED of Sharky...And for all the usual reasons... At first Sharky tries to explain and befriend her and whatnot but Kristy is so scared and distrusting of everyone (Probably because she got...yknow, kidnapped and dragged halfway across the world or something, idk lol) She doesn't trust him at all and is constantly thinking the worst of him... So thusssssssssss Sharky starts getting more bitter and pissy and angry towards her because...Well, fuck it. He's tired of being nice to somebody that's constantly throwing shit at him...Which, i do not blame him. (Sharky does have his limits as does...Everyone...) And Max is just like...The awkward middle man that's trying to fix shit because Sharky's his best friend/brother and Kristy's like his new bestie and "wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll we're a team now so you two dumbasses are gonna have to get along to some capacity!!!!" And Max isn't wrong there with the last point either lol... Kristy warms up more to Sharky as she gets more comfortable being in the Campsite and being forced around Sharky and whatnot...It just takes time...And Sharky isn't going to reject somebody who wants to change their mind on him (because he's had to do that a ton of times in his life and...He always wants that circle of close people to get bigger so...) Yeah, yknow lol Also Max is bad at remembering people's names (with Kristy tho, cuz she's being urhhh so bitchy towards the Campsite people who had absolutely nothing to do with her kidnapping and everything, he starts saying the wrong names on purpose cuz it pisses her off lol, that's a beginning joke...) And also also, in case you're wondering: Sharky ate a fish alive in front of em, that's what Kristy was going off about in the beginning bit lol...

[missrosegold]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

Thank you for the tag @kimkaelyn (also, my apologies, I thought I followed you way earlier, my mistake!) I'm going to post everything below the cut, since this is going to be a long post!!

Some of the stories that I'll mention here are from my old fandom which was... PPG. I'm not ashamed of them by any means - quite the opposite actually - it's what allowed me to start writing in the first place, and I met some of my best friends in that fandom, so I'll always be grateful to it for that, but there was a lot of things about that community that were not great, so I left. Some of these stories are old. I mean from FF days, but I did bring the ones I liked the most over onto my A03 (with a crap-ton of edits) so if anyone is interested in giving them a read, by all means, feel free!

and if my body should fade I'll trust you with my soul - Dabi x (F)reader (MHA/BNHA)

You’ve always been able to see the man with white hair and charred skin around your village, even though it seemed that nobody else could Or, you ended up making a deal with death, and now he’s come to collect

This particular story is near and dear to my heart, as it's the first story I wrote after a 2 year hiatus. COVID was murder on my mental health and I didn't have any motivation to write. It was around that time that I started getting into MHA, and subsequently discovered Dabi as well. Needless to say, I never looked back haha. I spent nearly 2 years lurking around the MHA A03 side, reading the delightful stories that authors on here published, and getting more familiar with this blog, before I decided that I wanted to try my hand I writing something again. This idea about Death God!Dabi had been floating around in my mind for quite some time at this point, and part of the inspiration for the story was from a post about Dabi, which had a quote attached to it that went something like: "Looking like half a corpse, half a god." I took it as a sign to keep going with the idea, and I ran with it. The story that came afterwards, was the end result. He fit's the role of a death god well, and I had a lot of fun writing this story! I've said it before, and I'll say it again: This story is my love letter to Dabi. His character is complex, and his story isn't a happy one, but that's what makes him so interesting. I love writing for him just as much as I love his characterization. He's challenging to write well, but in the best possible way.

2. always the fool with the slowest heart - Dabi x (F)reader (MHA/BNHA)

After a few particularly grueling years of working nonstop, you broke down and burnt yourself out. To escape the rat-race, you left for the island where your aunt and uncle live; back to the beach house you spent your summers at as a child. As you slowly work on building yourself back up, you start to realize some things on the island are not quite as you remember them to be.

Little did you know, there was a surprise waiting you in the shallows when you returned to the island nearly a decade after you last left.

Another AU story about Dabi, only this time, he's a merman. This one ended up getting away from me a bit, and the direction of the plot changed halfway into me writing it. It more or less turned into a way for me to vent my frustrations about working non-stop through the pandemic, and burning myself out very early on in my career. (turns out healthcare isn't the field you wanna be in with a global pandemic strikes, it wasn't a great couple of years for me). This story is more or less dedicated to anyone who has experienced some kind of burnout or mental exhaustion at some point in time + the added bonus of having a whirlwind romance with a large, attractive merman. The themes of escapism and dealing with anxiety/stress are heavier in this one, so if you have any triggers related to what I've listed, then please proceed with caution. This story ended up growing so large, I ended up breaking it up into 3 parts. Currently, 2/3 chapters are posted, but the final installment should be along shortly!

And here we move into stories from my old fandom. I namely wrote for the Greens (Butch and Buttercup). Before I say anything else - I want to make it clear that I only ever wrote these two as being somewhere in their late teens (18+ but maybe 17 here or there), to anywhere in their mid to late twenties. Writing for the PPG back in the day was a lot of fun, because the fandom itself was a sandbox of sorts. The show focused on when the girls were young, but what happened to them as they grew up? That's left largely up to the viewers discression, and boy did I have fun writing for the Greens in particular. The notorious middle children where just so full rage and bloodlust as kids, I had a ball envisioning them as they got older. So angsty, so good. It's because of this fandom that I have such an affinity for writing AU's - rarely do I ever actually focus on plot-related stories, AU's are just so incredibly fun to write. While I'm no longer apart of this fandom, I do still enjoy these stories:

3. Lords of the Playlist - Butch x Buttercup (PPG)

They were lords of the playlist – they were legends. Two forces of nature, housed in bodies strengthened by Chemical X. They breathed life into each other, fed off each other’s energy. They were everything.

This story in particular is one of my longest to date, reigning at 92 chapters. Are they full chapters? Absolutely not. These were a collection of one-shots inspired by songs that I thought suited the Greens - I even made the full playlist on Spotify! The chapters are not cohesive to each other, and each could be read alone, but the order of the songs do follow a certain flow. This story took me 3 years to complete fully: I started it in 2016 a few months after I started collage, and I finished it in 2019 a few months after I graduated, so it was a nice way to end things. I suppose I'm most proud of the fact I stuck with it for so long. Normally I don't end up finishing projects as big as this one was, but I did, which was a first for me at that time. All and all, this is still one of my favourite pieces I've written.

4. Killers Playground - Reds, Greens, Blues (PPG)

Mafia AU – They were three of Townsville’s most notorious crime lords. They were three good girls that got caught up in the wrong crowd. West Side Story has nothing on these kids.

Surprise surprise, it's another AU, but a mafia centered one, and no one has their powers. This one involved all 3 of the traditional counterpart parings, which is something I didn't normally do, but I wanted to try my hand at writing for the Reds and Blues (I still think the best chapter was the Greens though, haha). It was a three-parter with each pairing getting their own chapter, and they all intertwined at some point. This one was a little bit twisted but I had a great deal of fun writing it at the time! This story gained a lot of traction when I initially posted it, so I guess people enjoyed it as much as I did! This one is rated M for a reason though. It's mafia based, which is it's own warning in of itself.

5. Yearning - Butch x Buttercup (PPH)

The five times Butch wanted to kiss Buttercup, and the one time he did.

This story was one of the very first I ever posted. I think it was my second or third, honestly I can't remember. This one was my take on what a budding relationship between the Greens might have looked at as they grew older together, and tried to sort out their feelings for one another. This was written from Butch's point of view, as I have this headcannon that he's an emotionally constipated little gremlin who is so out of touch with himself, that he doesn't realize he has feelings (that are more then friendly) for his counterpart until they literally smack him in the face, and he's forced to admit it to himself, even though he's loathed to do so. That being said, I also believe that he loves hard, and he has a lot of urges that he has to try and control when it comes to Buttercup, so this was my attempt at fleshing out those feelings in a way that was believable for both counterparts.

Anyways that was incredibly fun to write! Thank you so much for the tag! Sorry it took so long for me to respond, I got a little carried away with this prompt!

Tagging: @carriedreamerx2 @candycandy00 @kiebs @dynamars @shadowsandshapes @malewifetouya

[ahiddenpath]

Life Talk

Talkin bout life beneath the cut.

Hm... I guess it's a business as usual situation.

One new thing: I'm much fitter. I've been working out regularly, to measurable results. My resting heart rate went down (very important, as my family history is riddled with heart problems), I'm building muscle and strength. What I am not doing is losing weight, alas. I've been trying harder on that front recently, and oh my god, the absolute hangryness. Unbelievable. I'm not even undereating! I'm just eating better, but of course, healthier food tends to be less calorically dense (not always- almonds, my beloved).

I also scheduled my vacation to Japan with my husband. We've wanted to go since we were kids. You know, we've been married nearly 10 years, and we have never left the country together? That's partly because of the pandemic- Japan hasn't been open to tourists all that long. But... Man. I've been dreaming about going to Japan for about... God, idk, 17 years? And yet, I'm dreading it? And we haven't planned a thing beyond purchasing plane tickets? It's an amazing chance and I'm so blessed and I do not have the spoons to plan/prepare/research.

Work is rough. It's always rough. I've adjusted in the sense that I have gained skills I need and I've learned that I will never be on top of things and I must be comfortable with letting stuff pile up, because it's literally impossible to avoid. I'm always being assigned stuff that, "hey no one has been able to do this, but you have a go." The wild thing is that sometimes- sometimes, my colleagues and I pull it off.

I've never worked with such talented people. Everyone is nice and wildly intelligent. But this place is a frothing ball of chaos. Apparently, there is a reorganization next week. My anxiety is fine with that (sarcasm). There are too many employees, not enough instruments/space/supplies. I clocked 5,000 steps a few days ago scouring the huge facility for the basic tools I needed to do my experiment that day. I'm losing sleep stressing about the next work day.

I'm experiencing that awful sensation again of losing myself to work stress and exhaustion. I am not sure what to do, even though I've been dealing with this and struggling to manage it for years.

Creatively, it's been harder to find time/have interest. But the habits I've spent 10+ years building are carrying me, and I am still showing up for my projects and myself at least 30 min per day. I'll be updating Puits d'Amour Monday, as planned.

You know, I'm not sure where I'm going to go, creatively, after PdA. I know I want to finish it before I launch anything else, because it does have an ending in sight. I'm growing more cognizant that, well... My writing is great, and I already have the habits I need to finish and refine projects. Should I be pursuing that? Like, as a potential income source? I've fought my way to a fair salary (I wouldn't even say good, just not exploitative, and yes, that was a battle) in biotech. I do interesting and meaningful work. But I'm beyond burnt out.

I don't know, it's a lot to think about. But I do know that I'll continue creating, because it helps keep me sane.

I hope you're all doing well! I'm overdue to exercise, so I need to go. Take care, big kiss!