#god I need to do paperwork
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HII so what do you mean about vessel OCs being thematically relevant? Did you mean specific OCs or the concept of making a vessel OC in general? either way i would love to read your thoughts
An ask! Anon, may you be blessed evermore. Thank you!
As for thematically relevant vessels, well… that’s kind of two separate questions! I’ll go with the general question for now, because that’s way easier to answer, but frankly I’m going to devolve into rambling and start talking about my little guys. You’ve been warned!
A lot of people just want to make A Guy and give them a story, with the backstory of the vessels as a base. And that’s all well and good! It’s lovely and compelling, and I support that. But hollow knight has a strong theme of family. You can connect a lot of the themes from there: duty in the name of your parents, having to unfairly fill a sibling’s shoes, the idea you’re one of many, the desire to reconnect despite everything: it all comes down to the fact that the 3 main characters are related.
All the vessels are a part of a family, and all save one are very young children at that. Either by luck or sheer solemn brutality, ghost managed to rough it on their own. But all of hollow knight is the story of those three siblings trying to connect with each other, and never fully bridging the gap: often, people design vessels in isolation, but I find it most interesting if they come in droves. Ghost, Hornet, and THK are an emotionally-estranged set. How would they react to a set of vessels who work together?
(I’ve seen this idea explored by @talos-the-mourning-vessel, which is probably why they’re my favorite vessel oc to date!)
In turn, I’m using this segue as an excuse to talk about my little guys.
I have two little guys, basically intended as self-inserts of myself and @two-children-in-a-trenchcoat (hi buddy!) and intended for a multiplayer true end let’s play that probably isn’t going to happen. Welp. Regardless… these two sealed their fates in the abyss/birthplace, where they helped each other up instead of killing each other. Canonically they went up the wall closest to the door (not the middle platforms) and pk was facing the wrong way and didn’t notice. Pk moment
They then decide “this entire kingdom sucks we need to leave NOW” and do exactly that, returning when they hear hollow scream, same as ghost. They then show up 15 min late to hallownest with Starbucks.* Their asses are not saving hallownest ‼️‼️
They don’t have the guts, resolve, or skill that Ghost does. Their main survival skill is being quick to retreat and having the other’s back.
I really love these guys because of how they interact with ghost: or, should I say, ghost hates them. Hollow knight, as is always worth reiterating, is the story of 3 siblings trying to reach for each other and never quite bridging the gap. Seeing their family actually act like family: always willing to help the other up & totally ride or die would be such a gut punch to Ghost.
There’s also hungry knight, which is the story of hk in extreme miniature, but missed the central emotional core and implied story behind “I carried a fallen companion to a resurrection altar (because they’re so fundamental to me I can’t continue without them)” that didn’t fully make it into hk. (that implied story was the only compelling part about hungry knight tbh. I love to see extreme hk beta but let’s be real. It’s not good.) I like the idea, and these two continue that dropped thread in a way that doesn’t undo ghost’s whole “lone warrior” vibe. Not even a vibe, it’s a theme: they were refused a helping hand from the very start. They crawled out alone, they returned alone, they take on the burden alone. These two won’t save the world, but they have each other, which rubs everyone in hallownest the wrong way, probably.
These are all my miscellaneous thoughts on the matter, really! Thank you for asking. I ought to draw my little guys sometime.
*I think they have their reasons. Partly fear, partly arguing, partly distance. They have no more memories than ghost, but know they wanted to leave the call’s origin so badly it sent them running blindly into the wastes. They finally came ‘round from the appeal/duty of there being another like them, but they were very avoidant to return.
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the reason netflix cancelled dead boy detectives is because they're working on a show called alive girl agents btw
#its a very different show from dbd because of Reasons#the first episode opens on niko in her igloo then after the title sequence we see that that was one of Crystal's visions#crystal leads a crusade to find her because those pink clouds around niko when they first met were actually sapphic Feelings#monty is there as well because id riot if he wasn't. eventually he learns how to shift between crow and human#it takes half the season for payneland to get their shit together. they act the exact same once they do#monty kisses a boy and this time the boy kisses him back#obviously this is Not Actually Happening because Netflix Fucking Sucks so I might as well write it myself#eventually#wraith wrambles#dead boy detectives#dbda#dead boy detective agency#crystal palace#niko sasaki#charles rowland#edwin payne#payneland#crystal x niko#edwin x charles#monty the crow#monty finch#the night nurse#<- she shows up Once to collect paperwork. it is one of the most intense scenes in the entire show#also crystal has a bit of a corruption arc bc of david in her mind tree + niko saves her though the magic of love#niko also has genuine magic now#god I need more of this show so badly#save dead boy detectives
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@naffeclipse cat trapped him yet again (if he won't rest I'll make him)
*self insert Aster is not a girl (he/ she)
og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!
#post let luce#dcamv#bloodstain fool#naffeclipse#my art#menace4menace#do i draw him doing paperwork a lot? yes bc i need cozy domestic shit for these scenarios to work#plus bounty hunting has gotta be a lot of boring paper research too#cant just be cool hunting bounties through the city#n mans has a bit of an issue stretching himself too thin#also i wanna be carried to bed maybe#god i. i need to be horizontal now oops fhdjs#glad i got these out but the heat is killing me and i hate it#wheres my bf to carry me smh smh
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Just when I think the day's going well, I crash a golf cart
#summer camp tag#ace is a mess#i do not have a drivers license and i havent even been behind the wheel in like 4 years since i stopped lessons cus of the pandemic#the day was going fine i got loads done didnt feel like i was irritating my director too bad#doing some paperwork for her and she says when im done well take the golf cart out while its not currently raining#im like ooh fun never been in a golf cart before i see the higher up staff in them im not gonna say no to chilling in a golf cart#i did not realise that meant i would be driving esp when she asked if id been in one before and i said no#she then asked if i could drive and i said not really thought that would be it#cus i was supposed to be studying for my theory before working towards my practical#but no she insists im driving and first off i gotta reverse outta this bay now at least i didnt have to think about gears#but i hate tryna figure out how to turn whilst in reverse in mess with my brain im not great with shape visualisation#we do all our stops its fine for the most part a lil too fast going down some of the hills#and some tight turns but my turns were always like that cus im too busy focusing on the most immediate thing#we get back i park fine and then shes like oh actually there are some more stops we can make so i reverse and turn back out#do our two stops with only minimal confusion about direction then as i go to park into the bay we came from#shes like oh actually park in the bay closest to the health centre and what i should have done was reversed and adjusted my angle#instead i drove directly into the supporting beam separating the two bays 🙃😭#i immediately turn the cart off and expect her to switch with me instead shes like laughing it off oh it was just a little bump it was fine#im like it was not that was a loud ass bang i feel so bad and then she lifts up the light cover i broke off saying its just a scratch#and i feel worse so pf course thats when the camp director comes out to check on the noise and i dont think ive ever worn a guiltier look#but theyre both laughing it off oh just having a little driving lesson :) and i am mortified#she gets back in the cart and shes still insisting that its fine and i should still park after that which i do with great trepidation#but there are no more problems and the lights still work but the cover does need fixing and i just oh my god#ive never crashed before never clipped or scratched a car so of course id crash the golf cart trying to park of all things 😭
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OH THANK GOD PRE-RAYBANS-HACK ME TAGGED ALL MY HOMESTUCK POSTS <- SAVED FROM TRAULING MY 2011-2019 BLOG ARCHIVE
#i know im a lazy tagger now im sorry that me died with my old blog#but oh i will be doing another fucked up homestuck spam soon. theres old pre-deletion vintage-foods posts in here. thank god#lucabytetalks#but for now i need to go do some paperwork ive been procrastinating on
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I long for the belt buckles to arrive.
(My crafting hobbies are at a standstill until I can finish my gambeson)
But when they do arrive!! Watch out!
#in other news! submitted a big scary application today#will submit all of the remaining paperwork as soon as I can make final edits on Monday#but on Sunday I will rest#(and probably marinate on how to improve my writing sample)#that said this coming week is shaping up to be a doozy#every single day of the week has at least one major event! some have two!!#I'm excited for all of them! I'm stepping into new roles that let me learn a lot by doing#but also! I will Need Sleep and rest as much as I can get#and food. Gotta plan my meals out so I remember to eat nutritious meals#if you spare a though for me play pray for strength and resilience and bravery#the future is scary and so is presenting in front of strangers#anywho! goodnight#hope y'all have a good week by God's grace#alsike rambles in the tags
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i need to be kiri’s chubby lil housewife who’s always getting doted on and bred and cuddled and- i need to be sedated im so in love with him
BREAKING NEWS: housewife sedated after being too in love with her husband😩😩😩 TUNE IN FOR more about her big breeder daddy AT EIGHT!!!!!
(no but forreal... need to be the wife all his friends are jealous of, who makes pastries and snacks for the agency every week and and is called his sidekicks' bonus mom, who brings all his babies in to say hi and get kisses when he's not on patrol...................then gets to fuck in his own personal office shower when they're being watched by other heroes.... and then conceives again...............)
#kirishima#i'm just imagining denki and sero with mouths full of your cooking going 'kiwri if i had your wife i would never leave the house. lemme kno#when she's single' and he's like NOOOOOOOOOOO#but man he must be so attrafctive doing paperwork at the office all sweaty tired looking#taking your youngest from you to sit on his lap when you visit#and just soak in your presence#hoooo my god#i could talk abt it for hours but JUST ALL OF THIS AND THE CHUBBY PART TOO#i need it...#caitie things#kids tw#breeding tw#gen#anon
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i have my first infusion tomorrow and the Anxiety is kicking in and i am trying so so hard to keep it calm
#marzi speaks#marzivents#EASY boy down boy it’s okay#i’m stressed bc i don’t know if i should bring any paperwork. or medication#(i’m gonna bring some of my meds in a purse just in case)#i don’t know what questions my rheum’s gonna ask#i don’t know what i’m going to do in terms of getting food#will the hospital provide a meal or will i have to request it from outside#i don’t know if my mom will be with me the whole time or just drop me off or if she’ll stay for some of it and then leave#i don’t even know what the infusion center looks like#all i know is that i’m gonna sit with a needle in my arm for 4-6 hours and that i should respond well to it#and my anxiety stems from Not Knowing i HATEEEE not knowing things#uuuuggghhhh it’ll be fine. it’ll be fine. the staff at that hospital are lovely and used to helping stressed kids#so they can help if i have an anxiety attack#and it wouldn’t be embarrassing bc i went through a traumatic experience and these people help people for a living#so it’s gonna be fine. but i hate that i don’t know how it works#will i be in my own little room for a little bit? i imagine not. is there any privacy?#or am i just going to be sitting with a bunch of other people getting chemo?#i don’t KNOW. i don’t know and i really don’t like it#but i need to go to sleep soon. but i still have this stupid insomnia even though i’m tired#probs gonna have to warn my mom that i’m gonna be a little neurotic tomorrow. bc i hate this anticipation actually it makes me feel awful#and like with the follow-up with my rheumatologist that’s also gonna be happening#what kind of questions will she ask? what kind of things will i need to know? ohhh god#ok deep breaths. relax. it is late and i am tired and therefore more prone to catastrophizing#i do know this doctor. i know she is kind and patient. this is not a test. it’s going to be okay#gotta remind myself that it’s gonna be okay. do my cyclical breathing and try to relax physically#the mental will follow as the fatigue sets in#okay. okay. we’re a little calmer. still not Plussed but we’re okay#gonna try to get sleepy now
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hey does anyone know how we’re supposed to survive it all. asking for a friend
#she speaks#oh gang we’re really in it now#i don’t think i’ve ever felt this bad this deeply in my whole life lol#the burnout just keeps accumulating past any point i thought it could reach#and i can’t even pretend at work anymore#i’m so tired and these kids are so infuriating and it builds and builds every time they do something shitty#and i love them and it’s not their fault they’re just kids and they’re tired and it’s almost summer#but god i can’t fucking do it anymore#how exactly am i supposed to survive the next two weeks#the class i’m taking is too confusing and too fast paced#and i didn’t buy the textbook bc it’s 200 fucking dollars#and our apartment is always a mess#and i can’t keep up with friendships and feel like i’m constantly letting them down#and there’s nothing i can do to fix any of it#until the school year is over#bc at this point it takes everything i have just to get up and go to work in the mornings#but then i still have to somehow find energy to do other stuff too. and like actually teach.#i have to grade and do report cards and return materials and clean up my classroom#i need to complete a checklist the size of a novel before i leave for the summer#i need to keep the kids engaged but none of us want to be here#i need to start organizing to make next year easier#i need to fill out paperwork and spreadsheets and update my password and find time to feed myself and grade more papers and#vacuum the floors and scoop litter and clean up clutter and do dishes and wipe down counters#and i haven’t been able to fucking do any of it in months and left so many chores to my poor partner who’s also going through it#bc i have nothing left and i don’t know what to do!! i want to scream every minute of every day bc i’m so beyond overwhelmed the moment#i wake up in the morning but i don’t have time for a meltdown so i just keep going!!#i wish i had better words to explain how bad it’s gotten but the brain fog has gotten so so bad#i can barely think i can’t make decisions my memory and recall have gotten so much worse#i take my anxiety meds so often that they’ve stopped working#and yet i still worry that i’m making it up and being dramatic. anyway sorry about all this lol
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my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol
#.mei chats#soryr really my family is. great i need to stpo complain#i just wish theyd realize that im not incompetent#i do a really good job taking care of myself for the entire 10 months out of the year that i dont live with them#and im proud of the independence ive developed bc i worked really hard to feel ANY sort of positive feelings about myself#but they just dont recognize it at all when i come back#trying to tell me how to microwave my food and reminding me of paperwork i have to do#Thanks i literally managed the entire program tasks myself for the last 6~months but yeah you better remind me about the medical forms#or else ill totally forget and mess up the whole thing :'333 bc im just so stupid!! thakn you soooo much for taking care of me!!#<- not like ive been hypervigilant and anxious about making sure i do every little thing with it perfect#in fact there was actually an issue w one of my forms bc they made me submit it even though i didn't think it was filled out properly.#they were like “itll be fine youre overthinking” guess who got an email 3 days later saying the form was completely invalid.#god just bottom line why cantthey trust me when i say im on top of it. fucking trust me this program is my entire life right now#i am putting literally eveyr ounce of effort i've got into not ruining it. they just dont see the improvements and growth ive made at all#so frustrating bc ive worked so hard to pinpoint and fix that specifically but what can ya do#god this got long. sawry#.not f/o related
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extremely frustrating situation
#overly long winded explanation incoming#so i’m gonna be living with two friends starting this fall#my parents bought a little townhouse and we’re renting from them#so they’re getting all of the paperwork and contracts and leases figured out#and these two friends are just. awful with deadlines. horrific. just the worst.#my dad has been flexible but he’s had to keep nagging them again and again to get these forms signed and whatever#and one of them finally finished the whole process and she’s good to go#but the other one still just needs to get the lease signed/notarized with their dad. like. asap. like within a few days.#and i’m trying my best to be like heyyyy sorryyyy not trying to nag or anything but we do need that ASAP…. it should be quick and easy…#i know you’re working double shifts every single day and your dog just died im so sorry#but my parents say you should be able to just go to the bank during a lunch break to get it notarized…..#please don’t be mad at me or my parents for saying we need this Now…… i’m sorry i know you have a lot going on but we do Need that done#right away….#anyway i don’t want you to be mad at me or think i’m just nagging so here’s a topic change! oh you didn’t respond to the topic change.#fuck me then. god. i can’t tell if you’re mad at me or not but i have the suspicion you Are. and that’s making Me mad at You#like god man just come the fuck on already you’ve missed every other deadline up to this point too. can you please just FUCKING get#everything submitted so we can stop worrying about it and just get excited to live together!! because it’s gonna be fun!!#but it’s worrying me too bc like… if this is how they’re acting before we’re even living together#and they’re missing all of these deadlines#am i gonna have to nag them to pay their rent every month?#it’s just frustrating bc it feels like they’re taking advantage of the fact that it’s my parents and not some other landlord#so they don’t think the deadlines my parents set are like. actual deadlines#meanwhile if it WASNT my parents they’d literally be out of a place to live because the housing market is so fucked there#and if you don’t get everything submitted within The Day then you’re no longer a candidate to rent the place#if you can even get to that point in the first place#so like. my parents are being exceptionally flexible and obv i can’t really know what this friend’s thought process is#but it feels like they’re just kinda taking them for granted and taking advantage of their kindness#like fuck dude just please come on
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extremely funny that I finally get a referral to the ADHD assessment service and they email me like "hello. to get on our waiting list you must first fill in these four extremely intense forms. surely this will be no challenge to you" buddy are you SERIOUS
#not only is it paperwork but it's also like. really emotionally intense questions#including a whole form I need a parent to do which is a whole can of worms in itself#god i hope this is all worth it. I need to be medicated.#moss life
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filling out IRB paperwork is truly a layer of hell
#this form is 27 pages. 27 pages. they keep asking me the same questions over and over.#I already told you how I'm storing my data! I told you! I told you! oh my god! I told you how like three times!#it hasn't changed since I told you a page ago!!!!!#sob. anyway. I need to get this done ASAP but my brain feels like it's melting out of my ears#so I think I may be nearing my limit for today#research ethics are so important to me. IRB is very important conceptually. but in practice. HHHHHHHHHHH#anyway. if you've been wondering where I am. I finished grading. then had to do journal article revisions. and now am trapped in IRB hell.#maybe once I have this paperwork submitted I will be able to be a real person again (probably not but we can hope)#Queenie actually says something on this blog#what is my academic life
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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I want to create but idk what I want to create but I want to make something my hands
#I got some more cardboard and poster board so I could do some art stuff but idk what to do specifically#need to become a person who doodles and sketches more I like only do art on canvases or my junk journal collages but even that has been a#while I should do a junk journal spread with my birthday stuff i collected stuff to collage I’ve just gotta actually do it#and I want to finish my 13.5 vlog and upload it and I want to start an April vlog bc I haven’t yet and it’s eating away at me a little#but I also have to go get the tire fixed today which is like blahhhh cause I don’t wanna go or be outside or talk to people#whatever ugh#and tomorrow is the fucking blahghhhhh and I have to fill out more paperwork tonight god fuck I don’t want toooooo#I wanna watch a movie I’ve already seen before and forget about life
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these urges are so fucking bizarre and foreign.
what animal has a brain screaming to annihilate itself so violently? I want to bash my head in, scar my legs and then cut open my stomach just to Get Away
#well- what animal does/doesn't do that while under continued torment? idk#tw suicide ig#but people belong in prison for what they did Hi Guys!! btw if ur lurkin on my merkin or w/e#there's no reason just to destroy my own life if I'm committed to this. I gotta do the paperwork abt GUNS also being threatened with gun#also the twitch peeps who .... Well. [reeeeeedacted]#thank god my blood relatives never cared I was alive. I won't need a funeral so I can do really fucked up DIYdies#spoon you can have money to give to your peeps but the new deal is I stab you in a place that isn't necessarily fatal before you kill me#jk Luka come over and get your linen shit back and we'll settle scores - bring a lawyer#end of life drama again#this year ooof#I wish I could shoot myself on a live stream
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