#go to uni get a job what is even the point either of those would destroy me

[meimeikyu]

im being consumed by the fucking dread

[wouriqueen]

Toxic friendship my beloved. I can't wait for Taeho and Inha's relationship to go off the rails. I mean we've got this perfect set-up.

(My 2 cents no one asked for about why their weird friendship WILL go wrong - and not just because of Hyewon - under the cut).

Taeho's tricky promise

Taeho promised to give Inha "everything he wants" as long as Inha lets Taeho use him as a golden rope to reach the "major leagues". Taeho then said, "We just have to decide what we want to do", and I guess they decided they wanted to make Inha Kangoh group's CEO. But!

Is becoming CEO "everything Inha wants" ? What if there's something else ? Will he expect Taeho to give him that too ?

Matter of fact, what if that promise is the reason Inha went for Hyewon without holding back even though he knew Taeho liked her? Maybe he wanted her - or decided he did... - and felt it was his right to go for it because of that promise?

Why does Inha seem okay with not having a clear idea of what Taeho is getting out of doing all that for him? Oh wait, he isn't! Cue the next point.

Han "I only exist for you" Taeho

Why would Taeho even say that LOL. I mean don't get me wrong, him telling Inha something so intense had my imagination juices flowing, but. It's obviously not true. Taeho didn't enter this deal out of affection for Inha. He himself called it an "economic proposition".

The only reason he'd answer that to Inha's question - "what do you desperately want" - would be to conceal the truth. Which is? The easy answer is Hyewon, and I'm sure that's part of it, though it's unclear how much Taeho's feelings for her have changed or not after 10 years. But would it really be it? I don't think so. If the only thing Taeho wanted was Hyewon, he'd have opened that door back when she tried to pick him 10 years prior - but he didn't.

Inha's anger

In episode 3/4, Inha seems angry at Taeho (re: when they think their plan might fail, and then the beach). And I wondered why that was, but it's obvious.

Taeho's cockiness

Inha's probably pissed about how cocky Taeho has been acting, and even more pissed about the fact that he can't shut him down because Taeho is, in fact, good at what he does.

Does Inha have an inferiority complex ?

Think about how their relationship started - Inha feeling judged and embarrassed while Taeho dished out life lessons, Inha asking for friendship then getting rejected only to be presented with an "economic proposition".

And the dynamic never changed, Inha constantly receiving things from Taeho. No matter how strong the affection was, Inha having a chef cook a meal for Taeho's birthday with money he didn't earn or Inha giving Taeho rides is nothing compared to Taeho getting him into a great uni and getting him closer to his dad/the CEO position, laying out a whole plan Inha just has to follow. Or at least he wouldn't see those as equivalent (and I doubt Taeho would, either).

Is Inha jealous of Taeho's place in his father's life ?

Inha clearly hoped his father would want him - remember his disappointment when he was made to leave his father's house before dinner that one time. He was even more hurt when Taeho explained his father must have called him to the house just to bother his wife. And hurt AGAIN when he found out it wasn't even his dad's idea, but his sister.

Yet he doesn't get to properly meet his father face to face until episode 4, while his more competent friend has been the chairman's right hand man for 5 years. That's gotta sting.

Inha isn't dumb

Highschool Inha knew nothing so he probably thought the terms of his deal with Taeho made sense.

Yet as they grew up, Inha must have realized at some point that something was off. That Taeho is clearly brilliant and savvy enough to get a great job in any big company and become a key player. That he hasn't needed Inha to get him into Kangoh or anywhere else. Taeho has yet to use Inha as a rope, which means he has yet to collect his payment.

Except Inha doesn't know what Taeho wants! He knows he said he wanted to "play in the major leagues", but that's so vague it barely means anything. He knows he may still want Hyewon, but Taeho can't have her AND honor his deal with Inha. Clearly so far, he's picking Inha.

So what does he want? And most importantly - why can't he tell Inha about it?

Of course we know it probably has to do with Taeho's parents and why he can't share that secret. But if I was Inha, I'd feel nervous, suspicious and powerless. Of course he's angry.

And then there's Hyweon. Gosh I can't wait. It probably won't be like I want it to be but I hope it's intense.

[helyeahmangocheese]

Give me the bipolar2!percy headcanons, my good royalty of ambiguous gender.

I have Bpd!Percy as a massive headcanon for him ^__^

okok this is just gonna be an info dump of what comes to mind and mostly comes from my own experiences/how I read percy but since you so kindly asked:

its onset is probably closer to the first Great Prophecy — not that hypomania wasn't brewing for multiple reasons and not that he hadn't already experienced depression but I do imagine that further into his teens he becomes more and more sleepless abt his inevitable death and he starts feeling more ok with so called risky behaviors

lol on that note he'd mess with annabeth and snack on her melatonin gummies casually before bed. it wouldn't do anything to him and he's not trying for that either—the strawberry ones just kinda taste good tho

realtalk this is honestly really unhealthy but he's probably convinced all is fine when he goes hypomanic during dangerous quests (particularly during HoO). this is the only time he truly believes he can do the world-saving, legendary things that he /is/ capable of. it's not necessarily that he has an "overinflated" self image—he's just at the point where he's willing to take the risks per the quest and believe he can pull it off. which honestly is often required for those moments, and that's why the cycles are so hard.

same with his having "grandiose plans" or having all this energy despite getting no sleep—it's all just his body coping with excessive trauma and unrealistic expectations on these quests, that's how he pulls it all off. is it technically a hypomanic episode? will he eventually crash? yes and yes, but he's also the son of Poseidon so wyd. he needs to have a plan and he needs to believe he can pull it off. he needs to pull it off.

oh but I would love to see percy's rapid speech written out as dialogue. like, explaining a plan he has but it's too fast and he explains it backwards but he doesn't even realize that not everybody is on the same level as him in the moment. bc that's what it's like in both types of episodes—just constant confusion abt where you are and why others aren't there with you.

his depressive episodes are fucking awful after quests and it takes a similar hit to him when nobody else seems to feel as deeply as he does about it. he falls back into self deprecation and it's really confusing for people to witness and experience these "two types of Percy." he's really not a fan of people labeling it that.

sometimes he just won't talk after and the best thing at that point is to just be around him let him choose how to express himself—because he's honestly really creative. music and painting kind of let him sit with whatever emotions, whatever episode he's experiencing, process it, and share afterwards. he's very vivid when explaining his experiences, he just needs time, and he needs to feel in control while also not self-isolating.

annabeth does a really good job of making sure he's not ever alone in a risky way while also giving him space and also they parallel play a lot.

outside of episodes, he just feels things very deeply in general. he loves deeply, he mourns deeply. when he says he feels for you, he fucking means it.

he doesn't necessarily rapid-cycle, but he has both types of ADHD so he has to be very careful about the lines between hyperfixation and hypomania. and inattentiveness vs literally just being dissociated. bc holy shit he did NOT see that coming when he started New Rome University—my boy managed to panic-complete all of his assignments during the week, go out every weekend out of FOMO, and then crashed so hard during winter break back home that I'm honestly pretty sure this is when they diagnose him.

bc tbh all of the other symptoms popping up during SON/MOA era and particularly through/after going through Tartarus made a lot of sense. but he was hoping it'd be over after he stopped feeling the need to sacrifice sleep to protect Annabeth every night, etc. the fact that uni became one of his triggers after hs was a total sideswipe.

boy was hypomanic during hoh-boa and when apollo saw him in that whole "please god not this again" state in toa he was in the corresponding depression tbh. idk if that lines up w the timeline but it's probably true.

also one of his "risky behaviors" is getting into so many commitments with various friend groups that he can't juggle them all but can he really help it bc he's loyal? like is it his fault that he's for some reason managing multiple club sports teams because he likes the people and he picked up so many different sports/hobbies out of boredom the last time he wasn't sleeping more than 4 hours a night? oops!

it also probably works that annabeth doesn't mind taking care of finances bc he will impulse spend it on these hobbies when he has all that hypomanic energy. love u bby boy me too.

literally word vomit but I hope that made sense and Im happy to elaborate or discuss heh! also: thank u for being absolutely correct abt my gender

[goldenpinof]

Wait what’s the situation with Oxford and Cambridge? I know the dates had to be moved because they were outside of term time for the unis there so no point doing it when there were no students but… isn’t that Dan’s teams fault?? Not the promoters?? Im not sure how it works so please explain to me because surely there’s a bit of collective responsibility there. Like multiple, interconnecting failures have occurred over the course of the tour

considering how small Dan's team was (3 managers that actually could make decisions, but also had other clients as well (correct me if i'm wrong though!)) i'm almost sure booking was on promoters. also because they were the ones who suggested moving the shows to February and "they've decided to do this" in the beginning of September. even if Dan's managers were involved in making calls (reaching out to the venues) and signing papers, etc., etc, it's kinda promoter's job to look at the list of dates and think about how you as a promoter are gonna handle each show for them to sell out. and if you see that something isn't adding up (September and uni terms) you have to stop this at the stage of development and NOT after everything is already approved, printed, and went to sales, and after people started complaining. it's not Dan's job to look at the calendar and think what months are better for what shows. he is paying others to do that. anyways.

my main problem was the time it was told and how it was told. Dan told us about it on Sept 4th, in a liveshow. the Oxford show was initially booked for Sept 13th, Cambridge for Sept 22th. so 8-9 days to change your plans, basically. it got worse though. people had to wait for official emails for another 2 days, and those emails didn't even have the text written correctly ("the show has been rescheduled to Saturday 11th 2023" Saturday 11th of what, bro?). and i'm 99% sure it's not AXS providing texts for the emails they send. so it's either the promoter (AEG) or Dan's managers were taking so long and still fucked up. and i'd bet on promoters, otherwise why are they even getting paid? there's a chain of people these things should go through to be approved and posted/sent. and promoters are 100% involved in these approvals. but for some reason there's always something done wrong in communication and in marketing. the promoter communicates with people (us) and makes decisions related to the shows, we saw that clearly during the Auckland show. so they are very much responsible for rescheduled and therefore booked shows. and for cancelled shows. i'm not saying Dan's managers were innocent during the tour, far from it. but why would Dan need promoters if his managers could do the job? bruh.

[palacholic]

✨My přijímačky story✨

or how NOT to face entrance exams

disclaimer: this is not a critique of the czech - or any other, for that matter - school system, of the concept of entrance exams or the way they're done at my university. it's not me complaining "school is hard boo hoo". don't let this scare you off, if you want to get somewhere, keep going and believe in yourself <3

trigger warning: mental health issues, implicit mentions of unaliving

so, here's the story

the main problem was exactly that: i didn't believe in myself. i did NOT believe that i would actually make it, get into my dream university. i had studied my chances, observed my rivals future classmates in the preparation course, calculated the probability based on the number of ppl trying to get in and the number of those admitted each year...the math was neither clearly in my favour or against me, it was all up to me...and i did NOT for the love of god see myself passing that exam. i had chickened out on the written part already, after seeing some tests from past years and the only question i could answer for sure being "kdo byl Jan Palach?" (yes fr, a question just about made for me, what a shame that it wouldn't be in this year's test). so i had decided on the preparatory course - if you complete it successfully, you don't have to do the written exam, only an oral test. my mother agreed, on the condition that i paid half of the fee myself. i did.

an oral exam. the thing i feared most in high school. i'm absolutely terrible at speaking, explaining things with my voice instead of writing them down. on the other hand, i'd always been good at writing. but now i had no choice. either i passed that exam or...i didn't even want to think of what would happen if i failed. there was NO WAY in the world i would go to university in my home city. and finding a job there is almost impossible. it's a beautiful city, tourists love it, but it just wasn't for me. every step along its streets made me more and more depressed. i didn't want to see those people anymore, speak the language i didn't consider my mother tongue anyway, go to another place i wouldn't fit in, no matter how hard i tried. i don't wanna go into detail about what my thoughts were, but in that moment i felt helpless and alone, and the only hope was getting into the uni i really wanted, leaving that place and the whole fucking country, starting a new life in the city i loved, the city i loved because of you, my dear, you, my only light in the never ending darkness, i knew i could never meet you, but at least feel closer to you, every day, go to the same uni you studied at, is that too much to ask? sometimes i feel like you were there that day, that some spirit protected me, you didn't want me to fail, you would want me to live a happy life.

so i carried on, each day, preparing for that exam. luckily someone helped me...not a ghost, a living person, let's call him V....someone i don't wanna be associated with anymore, i realized later how bad he was for me, but at that point i needed all the help i could get.

with the day of the exam approaching, i felt worse and more confused each day. i was studying every minute of my free time, sleeping less and less, in school i did the bare minimum to keep up my grades, but other than that i had no time for anything else. i prepared myself for possible questions, learned everything about the books i had read for the exam, memorized how to introduce myself and what to say about why i wanted to study there...that was the crucial part of it, the one that scared me the most. how would the teachers react when they found out that the reason why i taught myself Czech and wanted to study in Prague was...a dead guy? i tried to keep it factual, tell them about how he inspired me and how i tried to cherish life and not be indifferent towards what happened in the world around me because of him, how i wanted to become a historian and study him and his time, all of that...i wrote it down, tried to say it as fluently as possible. it was hard to not get emotional. what if they think i'm crazy? what if they rule me out because of that? it was all or nothing. i would play my card, the Palach card...and see what happened.

the day of the exam. i felt so nauseous and just wanted it to be over with. how did you feel, my dear, the day of your admission exams...or that day, in January? sometimes, I tried to tell myself that you also didn't get in on the first try...but i was NEVER going to find another uni and wait two years to try again. not if the alternative was being stuck in a country i didn't feel was home, with my parents and everyone around me knowing everything about me, my darkest secrets, the embarrassing things i had done as a kid before realising i could be neurodivergent, i was not going to put up with that any longer.

how did you feel, my dear, that day in January? i think you were still calmer than me, and what laid ahead of me was just an exam...a 15 minute talk with some teachers about books i had read and things i knew, and still i was a nervous wreck, couldn't get myself to eat my breakfast, the day before i had fallen asleep over my notes and then stayed up half of the night watching documentaries about you, feeling finally better...reading about you, seeing your face, hearing ppl talk about you, it always calmed me down, made me feel better, no matter how miserable i was. i can't logically explain that, but it worked that night too. whatever was going to happen, we'd do it together, i told myself. i don't really believe in the supernatural, don't know if there's life after death, but what if...what if there was at least a chance you could help me? together, my dear.

the exam itself was over so fast, at first i was sure it went badly. i didn't answer all the questions about literature correctly, then i hadn't had the time to explain my motivation thoroughly, getting emotional and not finishing the train of thought, eventually i almost broke down and told the teachers being admitted meant everything to me...but it wasn't that bad. they were pretty impressed by my Czech and my motivation had them sitting in silence shaking their heads...was that a good sign? or did it mean "we don't want that crazy kid here"? who knows.

it was okay, in the end. the day after, i got my score, and it was GOOD. more than that. it was basically impossible that i would not be admitted with a score that high. and finally, the confirmation came...i was so nervous opening that mail, told myself it was gonna be okay, i was safe...that word, přijat/a, it was such a relief after two years of hopes and fears. i had done it. all those dreams were going to come true. my future was in my hands...it was the happiest day of my life so far.

it's been exactly a year since that day. many things have changed. i might tell you about them another time, when i've figured out some stuff i'm still not fully understanding...about myself, and about the world around me. this new world i dived in head first, the place i can finally call my home. the first place where i actually feel at home in my whole life. i think it has a lot to do with the fact that i chose it, that i decided for myself i was going to live in Prague...many people stay were they happened to be born and don't feel the need to change anything about that, i'm not one of them. i can't imagine that kind of life for me. again, my home country isn't bad, my life could have been way worse, but it wasn't the best for me. things have improved so much since i moved to Prague. it feels right, in a way i can't really explain. i'm glad i'm here and i'm thankful too all the ppl - dead or alive - who accompanied me along the way. big shoutout to y'all. <3

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

Sorry about your uni related stress!

I would love to see your take on "rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor" for rebelcaptain.

I'm effectively burned out on high school AUs after "A Little Hope", as it turns out, but I tried my best!

.

“I am hardly failing all my classes, Baze, don’t be so dramatic.”

The school counsellor throws her a pointed look. “I am the least dramatic person in this building, Miss Erso. And I never said you were failing all your classes. But you are well on your way to failing Art History –“

“Can you blame me? It’s the most boring thing on earth.”

“- Draven informs me you’re on shaky ground in World History as well. Actually, he says to remind you that classes are every Tuesday at ten. He worries you’ve forgotten.“

Jyn sighs and rolls her eyes. “Look, fine. Tell him I’ll ‘apply’ myself. That’s the term, right?”

“I’m also to let you know that you could fail AP Spanish,” Baze Malbus goes on flatly, ignoring her olive branch.

Shit. Looks like she miscalculated on just how little the old crone cares about her job in her last year before retirement.

“Jyn, I know you’re not stupid,” Baze says with a sigh. Now he is using her first name. That’s a bad sign.

“I know you’ve had a very difficult time this past year. But most of your teachers are already cutting you slack –“ Jyn scoffs, but Baze goes on before she can argue, “ – and I can’t smooth things over for you from here to graduation, alright? And I shouldn’t have to. We both know you could pass these classes in your sleep if you wanted to.” He adjusts his stack of notes with a sigh. “Ms Spinelli will let you pass in return for an additional twenty-minute presentation in class, and Draven said you will scrape by if you manage a B in the final two tests. Regular attendance is also non-negotiable,” Baze adds drily, and Jyn rolls her eyes again. She didn’t even skip his class that often. The man had such a stick up his ass.

“But Ms Lopez insists on an oral exam at the end of term, no getting out of that one, kid. And if you don’t ace the last physics test, Krennic is going to fail you.”

“Oh, come on, he’s got it in for me! There’s no way to make it past a C in his class!”

“Yes, there is. By giving the correct answers on the test.”

“But –“

“No. I will put you in contact with a senior who is willing to tutor you, and then the ball is in your court.”

Jyn scoffs. “I am not getting tutored –“

“Jyn, either you agree to sit down with this kid twice a week, or I’m mailing all those reports to your father.”

She glowers at the counsellor. “That’s not fair, Baze.”

“It’s very fair. We had a deal. You follow my advice and I keep this kind of thing between us as long as I can. So now I’m telling you to get a tutor.”

He doesn’t so much as bristle under her glare, so after a moment, she resigns herself to her fate with a heartfelt sigh. “Okay, fine. Who is it?”

.

“You’re kidding.”

“Wish I was,” Jyn groans and prods at her potatoes with her fork.

“You’re getting tutored by the guy you threw up on at Han’s? Twice? And he agreed to that?”

“Oh, I’m sure he’s thrilled,” she says, spearing a mealy potato with decidedly too much vigour, and shoots her friend a withering look. “And also, the second time was his car. Not him.”

“Well, in that case…” Bodhi is still grinning. “How much is he getting for it?”

Jyn grimaces. “A twenty an hour. And my dignity.”

Her friend shrugs, the grin softening into something a little more serious. “Come on, it could be worse. He seems… nice –“

Jyn makes what was meant to be a derisive scoff but comes out like a hysterical little giggle. Nice. Sure. A lot of descriptors come to mind with Leia’s eternal academic rival and dark horse of the student union. Some she wouldn’t admit under torture (soft hair or beautiful eyes, to name a few), most are more along the theme of stick up his ass – nice definitely isn’t the first.

(He was nice, at that party. Nice enough, anyway, not to yell at her when she barfed in his car, or on his shoes. So basically saintlike. And he drove her home, even though nobody had asked him to. That was probably nice.)

But she is way too embarrassed about the whole thing to let herself remember anything about Leia’s birthday party, and anyway, he’s still insufferably studious and he used to play tennis with Leia and he’s doing triathlon and he’s an editor on the student newspaper and she’s pretty sure he did Model UN.

She’s pretty sure even Cassian Andor isn’t hot enough to make up for that.

And he’s going to be a nightmare as a tutor, if his sweatshop of a local news section is any indication.

.

To Jyn's immense shock, it turns out he isn’t. And it turns out that is worse.

Jyn was perfectly prepared to sit through some condescending lectures for a few weeks, stew in quiet resentment and roll her eyes at him when his back was turned. That would have made the embarrassment of that repressed memory of his hand on the back of her head when he helped her into the car pretty much bearable. And she would have caught up on her classes all by her lonesome afterwards, and have the satisfaction of knowing he hadn’t helped her at all.

She was not prepared for liking it.

He decided that they can kill two birds with one stone if they go through the World History curriculum in Spanish. It’s hard, but she always liked a challenge (a little too much, according to Bodhi and Baze), and Cassian is exactly as demanding as she thought he would be. Except… that kind of makes it fun. He’s ruthless when he wants to be, but in a way that tells her he thinks she’s holding out on him. It’s trust, weirdly – he just always assumes she’s up to the task, that he can push just a little further. And he seems to enjoy doing that, somewhere behind his quiet, reserved manner. He’s even – as much as she hates to admit it – funny, in the same underhand way.

It's… unfortunately attractive. She’d love to blame it on the language (he does have a nice voice), but she finds herself trying stupidly hard to impress him, just to catch that intrigued glint in his eyes again.

He even makes being good at physics look hot, a thought that makes Jyn want to sink through the floor whenever she catches herself thinking it. Which she has four times so far this afternoon. (Seriously, a guy being able to do complex math in his head shouldn’t be this hot. Right?)

This isn’t the type of embarrassing she’d expected from this whole tutoring thing.

.

.

bonus outtake:

“Oh, hey, by the way, I’m… I’m really sorry. About, you know. Vomiting on your shoes at Han’s that one time.”

“Oh, don’t –“

“No, really, I’m sorry! It was disgusting.”

“A bit. Yeah.”

“A bit?”

“Honestly, the car seat was worse,” he says with a shrug.

“Oh my God –“

“It’s fine, Jyn, it… Really. It was… my own fault.”

“Me getting drunk and puking in your car was your fault how, exactly?”

Another shrug. “Well… if I had worked up the courage to talk to you when you were sober, I guess I wouldn’t have got puked on, right?”

Pick an AU and get a one-shot (at some point in the future!)

[the-irrelevant-trumpeter]

okay. gonna go through the members of the cpds one by one and try to figure out why they are in university for a bizarre amount of time. basically just need most of them to still be there in 2016 (ppgw filmed), and at least a few in 2017 (accgw). in my timeline of events, tptgw took place in 2012, and the staged version of ppgw (i believe the staged and filmed versions are two separate things that happened at different times, because it better suits my timeline) happened in 2014.

chris: presumably on the wealthier side (described as a philanthropist in the tptgw programme, and in a different version of it, he was the one who received a large inheritance from his grandfather, not max) so it’s plausible that he easily did another degree. alternatively, since the polytechnic thank him for said philanthropic efforts, he may have just stuck around, even if not actually studying.

robert: this one’s fine, because it’s said in the ppgw programme that he’s not actually studying at the polytechnic (he’s working as a janitor). so he can be there as long as he wants.

max: only in his first year of studying during tptgw. this means it should last until 2014/2015 if he completed it first try. him being here longer than that is fairly easy to explain though — it’s incredibly plausible that he had to repeat a year or two like trevor did, because we know max isn’t the brightest (affectionate). he also has a rich family, so he could also have easily taken another course, but i believe it’s the first because according to one version of the tptgw programme, this was already his second time at a uni (before attending cornley polytechnic, he graduated from rada).

sandra: this one i’m not sure what to do about. in tptgw programme, it’s said she’s been there for almost 3 years (or 11 seasons) which means by that point, she should be almost finished her degree. i don’t think it’s as plausible to say she had to repeat, since she seems like she’d be dedicated to finishing, and even if she had to repeat one year only once, that’s still nowhere near enough. i suppose that means she took another course, but i don’t know how many more rich members i can handle. she’s a major question mark for me.

dennis: same as max, he’s only in his first year during tptgw, and i would very much believe he had to repeat, probably several times.

annie: kind of figured out? in tptgw, she’s been there for 3 years, meaning she’s getting close to finishing her course. she’s one i definitely believe came back for a second course — it says that she’ll be leaving for an internship at the bolton octagon, so that implies to me that this is after finishing her current course. given that that’s presumably a stage managing job, i’d assume she studied something in that area during those years. by the time of staged ppgw, she’s back, and now studying cognitive behavioral therapy and pottery. if we say her first year was 2014, that plausibly gets her to 2016 at least, probably 2017 (if it’s a four year course). she never gave me the vibe of being a nepo baby, but according to her twitter account, her father owns an oil company, which screams rich to me.

jonathan: another question mark. we don’t know when he started attending the polytechnic, but i’d guess he isn’t in his first year. like sandra, i don’t find it as believable that he’d have to repeat, so that implies a new course again, but cmon how many of them are doing that.

trevor: probably the one we know the most about, in terms of his courses. we know he was on his final year for the third time in staged ppgw. but i’m not sure how he stuck around. do i really believe he had to repeat his final year another two or three times? no not really. in a different version of the ppgw programme, it says he’s studying music production, so ewe could potentially move that so that he did that after finishing engineering, but that doesn’t feel right to me. so i’m not sure about him either.

so really, the main uncertainties are sandra, jonathan and trevor. robert and annie i’m fairly confident in, and max and dennis i believe are sorted. i’m a little unsure about chris, but i think there’s ways to explain him. any suggestions to justify sandra, jonathan and trevor would be greatly appreciated.

[the-travelling-witch]

guess who's alive? exactly, me!! :D *slumps down and never gets up* (sorry in advance this will be quite the long ask >_<)

i get the feeling of fried brain, my session just finished ;-; #neveragain (wish i could say it for real tho) it's not a problem if you can't add much ahah, really, so don't worry :3

i feel you, my rbf isn't of any help but luckily those who receive my love know it and about the rest i don't care °v° and as i said (i think) as long as you're genuine i don't think that's a problem, honestly is what matters ^u^

yeah i noticed the game and noticed only now i forgot to ask you a question but now head is empty so whatever 🫠 if you say so then brb gonna go buy pencils for xiao and you so you can fill each other's skin with drawings and writings eheh~

me too honestly, i just need to relax, eat good food and sleep for hours trapping the indigo menace in a cuddling hug >:3 for movies i'm down bad for pixar but indie and artsy sounds good too 👀 and slow dancing at night is just something sooo cute and sosksiskdjsjskwj i'm down bad pt2

we can agree that villainous fictional men >>>>>>>>> goody two-shoes hero, but morally grey characters deserve a mention of honor, a whole hall just for them @^@

NOW, ONTO THE NEW MODERN SERIES FIC FUCK I'M SO EIDJWKSNDKWJWOSJSIHS

childe you cocky little menace with that shit-eating grin 🤺 i love this type of grin it sends me on cloud nine but also actives my fighting spirit lmao

i loved every word and the implicit mention of scara's partner and childe's being colleagues, what a chaos putting those two in the same room because of their lovers (saw the other asks, died of laughter)

it had me going 👀 when reader went "one coffee for the mystery man" LIKE MAN THE AUDACITY i would have prayed the universe to swallow me especially after ginger's reply folsdoodsj so good really

also, a curiosity: since you mentioned yanqing (my son <3) does this mean that gi and hsr men will interact more often, being in the same universe? tbh knowing some characters either they will get along well or a big fight would start the moment they see each other pfft-

anyway, i think that i covered everything so that's all! as always, take care, drink water and coffee, eat healthy and sleep well at night, you can do this! and good luck with uni :3

bye bye~

— ❄️

hii great to see you back and good job on surviving!! i’ll put the answer under a cut for brevity’s sake haha

well i hope i sound and look genuine bc sometimes i feel like i don’t and if i try to sound more excited, people would probably think i’m faking it; but yeah my friends probably know by now how i act so i think i should be good :>

don’t force yourself to participate if you can’t come up with something, i promise i still have enough material to go through (me, typing a novel for a moot’s entry /aff); whenever i doodle on my arm i normally just use ball point pens or eyeliners but i also saw people using like actual colours for painting/body paint and i really want to try that; having someone drag a brush and paint over your back must be such a funny feeling <3

i’m not watching a lot of films right now, so i can’t say what my favourite genre is but i do love a good animation (i still need to see the new spiderman aaahhh); speaking of going to the cinema: there’s sth so special about going there during daytime and coming back out when it’s dark outside; imagine walking home after the film with your fave, he gives you his jacket against the chill of the evening and you laugh and joke as you discuss the film you just saw until he gently grabs your hand and starts twirling you around under the light of a street lamp… *sigh* what a dream (frantically scribbles into my notes for the modern au hshsh)

i just think villains and morally grey characters just are much more fun to explore; would i want hazbin hotel’s alastor to be real or would i like him if i met him? no because he is/was a serial killer, but in fiction? fascinating, intriguing, fun to explore; fiction just gives us the means to explore these morally not so cool actions and mindsets without most of the consequences, and i love that (also it really is sexy if a bad guy drops everything for their love; who wouldn’t want to be their partner’s priority; also also, villains with their own set of moral code, like ‘sure i’ll burn down a city but hit a woman? i would never’)

childe activates my fighting spirit in general, like come over here and let’s bicker, you gorgeous idiot, and maybe i’ll kiss you afterwards <3 and also yes that grin… it might be here bc of the writer’s bias…

i just had to make them colleagues!! please just imagine them gossiping about their bfs after work or during the double date the readers are just talking the night away whereas childe and scara just have this icy atmosphere around them, but the second their partners look over they melt bc they’re just so in love dorks, all of them

and omg yes, thank you for mentioning it, i’ve been dying for someone to point it out: it’s official, it’s a genshin/honkai shared au!! it’ll be mostly genshin with some hsr characters but yes!! they’re sharing the same universe, they will be interacting (now we wait for someone to mention the company vizion is signed under… i wonder who works there… /silly)

thank you, make sure to take care of yourself as well!! <3

[justkpopjokes]

SKZ + Day6 Uni Band AU

Ft. Stray Kids + Day6

Word Count: 2k of bullet points

jaesea: “Maybe best friend!Chan (skz) but like he invites u to be part of this new band he's making?”

A/N: Another old request lol. This fic practically wrote itself! So many details fell right into place, so there are a ton of references to the irl history of the groups which I might make a separate post explaining lol

PROLOGUE: DAY6

WELCOME TO JYP UNIVERSITYYYYYY it even rhymes :)

JYP Uni is mostly an arts university, so the students have their own student-run festival to celebrate everyone’s skills!!

A few years ago, there was a band called Day6 that grew in popularity due to performing at this festival on a whim

Sadly, one of these original performers left b/c he wanted to focus on studies

Then another guy quit the band after he graduated to focus on his job

So the remaining 4 members, Sungjin, Brian Younghyun, Wonpil, and Dowoon, decided to finish up their studies then go pro!!

However, due to studying, sometimes a person or 2 wasn’t able to make it to a performance

Either that or the song they wanted to perform wasn’t possible with only the 4 of them

Additionally, Sungjin and “Young K” decided to work full time after they graduated to save up for their Big Band Plans, which meant that they were often down a bass and guitar for on-campus events

To solve this, they decided to add some other people to the band temporarily!!

These new members were more like collaborators rather than official members

Wonpil and Dowoon would teach them the band’s existing songs, so for many of their fans at uni, it was like a special honour to get to perform with them

During his last year at uni, Dowoon was such a sweet but stressed mentor as the last original one left lmao

Imagine him going around trying to find lil underclassmen to fill in for performances

((ok but wow that would definitely lead him to have a lot of fans,,,, yknow,,, like in the Every Day6 MVs,,,))

After Dowoon graduated, the 4 main members of the band were reunited to go pro and focus on making music!! :’) A happy ending!!

I: 3RACHA

Now THOSE are the legends that Bang Chan has idolized ever since he got accepted into JYP Uni!

Bang Chan is a guy. A guy that happens to be really good at writing music (and guitar)

So his skill landed him the opportunity to perform with the legendary Day6!

(Dowoon and Wonpil had heard of Chan’s music during one of the student music festivals, so they called him up to fill in for Sungjin once)

But since all the original members have since graduated, Day6 isn’t a part of JYP Uni anymore

And thus a gap is left for a new band to rise into!!

With his knowledge gifted to him by Dowoon, Chan decides to start another band!!

He takes rhythm guitar and vocals, but he still needs others to, yknow, make it a band 🤔🤔🤔

lmao I would love to be recruited as a second guitarist, keyboardist, or drummer

The people who witnessed Chan’s performance w/Day6 are like “ooh he’s a good singer, maybe we should see what he does”

So his friends show off their skills to him and he eventually starts getting a band together!!

First he recruits 2 of his closest friends, Jisung and Changbin

I didn’t plan this but it makes so much sense that Chan filled in for Sungjin in the past because it meant he got really good at rhythm guitar

Which means Jisung plays lead guitar (and he does actually play guitar omg) with Changbin taking up drums

The trio performs together for the 1st time at the same music festival that Day6 started at!

They name themselves “3RACHA” after Jisung spilled Sriracha sauce on himself when they went out to lunch to plan for the event

Following their performance, they gain attention for their unique original songs!

Sadly, after about a year of 3RACHA uploading their music online, Changbin has to step back due to time conflicts

Although Changbin’s able to help write their songs, only Chan and Jisung would be performing live like they planned

Chan’s a little discouraged; he’s been trying for so long to get a crew together and is close to finishing up his time at uni

He doesn’t want to cancel their 2nd big performance, but it’ll be hard performing their songs as a duo

So he calls his friends, Day6!

Younghyun in particular had sort of adopted Chan after the latter filled in for Sungjin

So he gives Chan a pep talk and tells him to keep pushing through

As a solution, Younghyun suggests Chan do what Day6 did and give some newbies a chance to perform with 3racha like Day6 did with Chan

II: Srir4cha?

Inspired by his mentors, Chan decides to recruit a young man who enrolled into JYP Uni early: Jeongin!

Jeongin is an amazing singer, but Jisung’s a little confused at first since Chan usually does vocals

However, papa Chan encourages the youngin’ to work on his piano/keyboard skills so he can perform with that too

After a successful first practice to see if he’s a good match, they happily accept Jeongin onto the team!

They also just love to baby him lol he’s their golden child

Hyunjin, another student at JYP Uni, knows about the band that Chan is forming

Although he hears that they’re looking for new members, he doesn’t really want to audition, feeling like other people were better than him

Besides, he’s a dancer, not a musician. What’s he going to do?

However, Hyunjin is always practicing his dance routines in a studio on campus

And whenever it’s empty, he’ll sing to himself!

Chan hears Hyunjin singing and is like “hmmm interesting…”

And after witnessing Hyunjin’s stage presence during a dance performance, he’s like “okay that’s it he’s joining!!”

So Chan approaches Hyunjin and asks him to join the band, at least temporarily, for their next performance

Hyunjin: “??? But I don’t play an instrument??”

Bang Chan: “You dance, right? I’ll teach you drums; since you’re good with dancing on beat, it should be easier for you to pick up”

So Hyunjin learns drums with Chan (and occasionally Changbin’s) mentorship

It seems a little odd to Jisung/Changbin that Chan is just picking random kids who have little to no experience with instruments

Jisung especially is like 😒😒 about Hyunjin replacing Changbin, thinking Chan just brought him on the team because he’s handsome and can get them attention

But 3RACHA (currently a team of 4 and needing a new name) have unwavering faith in Chan’s good judgment

With Hyunjin working hard to catch up to the others and carry the beat, Jisung accepts that Hyunjin does belong on the team

Though they really are a ragtag team of stray kids that Chan pulled together

With a fresh lineup, they boys are able to perform at their 2nd major event under their new name: Stray Kids!!!

III: STRAY KIDS

After the event with Chan, Jisung, Jeongin, and Hyunjin (mirroring Day6 hehe), Changbin’s able to rejoin the band!

Hyunjin’s a little sad he won’t be performing with Stray Kids anymore

But Chan is ofc like “NO you’re one of us now!!” and offers him a permanent spot on the team

Hyunjin: “But what am I going to play now that Changbin’s back on drums?”

Bang Chan: “uhhhh well ok hold up we have some rearranging to do…”

With 5 people in the band now, they have a full house!

Yet they’re somehow still missing a bass guitar…

For their previous 2 performances, they had used a recording of a synth bass that Chan had thrown together with Jeongin’s help

But they kinda have to tackle this problem now

Jisung’s really good at lead guitar, Changbin’s the best at drums out of the 5 of them, and Jeongin already learned many tricks on keyboard

So either Chan or Hyunjin have to take up bass

Hyunjin isn’t super comfortable with learning a new instrument again (he just learned drums, after all)

So Chan—being the multi-talented man he is—takes up bass himself

(It’s not his forte, but it’ll do for now!)

Instead of playing rhythm guitar in Chan’s place, Hyunjin writes a couple songs of his own and takes up lead vocals for their 3rd performance!!

After that performance, a certain Kim Seungmin notices they’re down a rhythm guitarist…

Even though he’s majoring in vocal music, Seungmin decides to teach himself rhythm guitar in hopes that he can join the band

One day, when Seungmin is jamming out, a certain band leader walks in…

…and immediately tries to recruit him LMAO he’s kind of desperate

Now they’ve got a team of 6!

But Chan isn’t having a great time with bass lol rip

Chan, now working on a Master’s degree in Music, has less time for the band

He’s confident in taking more time off now that Hyunjin has taken up lead vocals (and the other members also sing for certain songs)

But the rest of the team is getting really excited to perform at an annual campus music festival which, frankly, Chan doesn’t have the time to practice for

After talking with the team, the consensus is that they really need a (proper) bassist

((LMAO that was like an unintentional pun like. They need an assist. But it’s a bassist LJKFDHLKJS sorry bad joke moving on))

IV: Full House

One of Hyunjin’s fellow dance classmates, Minho, auditions for fun in hopes he can help out

Minho’s part of a dance team that’s also performing at the festival, so he can't perform with them on stage (doesn’t have time to perfect it, basically)

But he knows a bit of bass guitar and offers to play during practices so they can hear the bass parts

Although he isn’t the greatest at it, he’s a good fill-in while Chan focuses on uni

That’s when their angel Felix comes in!!

Chan recognizes Felix from their high school choir, so he knows the kid has got a knack for performing music in there somewhere

So he asks Felix to learn bass for them as a permanent member

Since Chan and Minho are already not the greatest at bass, Felix struggles a bit to learn from them

He gets the hang of it, though, and quickly becomes an expert!

So let’s do a recap:

Bang Chan: vocals, songwriting, arrangement, mostly mia due to uni

Jisung: lead guitar

Jeongin: keyboard/synth

Changbin: drums

Hyunjin: lead vocals, songwriting

Seungmin: rhythm guitar

Felix: bass guitar

So what’s Minho up to?

Turns out, the guy is a natural at drums!! (For the same reason Hyunjin was)

So the crew, the kids, now at max capacity, take this opportunity to rotate which instrument they play for certain songs

With Minho on drums, Changbin’s able to take center stage and sing/rap some songs he wrote for himself

While Hyunjin occasionally switches over to keyboard so Jeongin can have some time in the spotlight to show off those stellar vocals

And they successfully rock their 4th performance at a concert on campus!

Needless to say, Papa Chan is super proud of them :’)) *wipes single tear*

V: Battle of the Bands

For their 5th and biggest appearance yet, the crew signs up for a city-wide Battle of the Bands

(Ahem, Kingdom: Legendary War)

Unfortunately, shortly after they sign up, Hyunjin has some personal issues to deal with and needs to take time off of the team

Needing a lead vocalist again, Chan returns to the band full-time!

He’s finishing up his master’s degree, but manages to make the time to practice

He has always been dedicated, you gotta give him that

They miss Hyunjin’s vocals, but Hyunjin is cheering for them from the sidelines!

AND THEY WIN FIRST PLACE WOOO!!! KINGS FR

With a win under their belt, the band performs together for the rest of the year with more attention than ever

They’re rocking with the big leagues now!

Before Chan graduates, the crew decides to organize one last performance with all 8 of them for their last uni music festival of the year

Chan does lead vocals with Hyunjin (a duet, if you will… Red Lights rock version *cough*)

Meanwhile Minho rotates between extra percussion or other smaller instruments (triangle, maracas, kazoo, harmonica, otamatone, whatever)

Their last performance goes out with a BANG (Chan) and is a huge success!!!

A certain group of alumni, Day6, come back to their old uni to watch lil Bang Channie all grown up with a band of his own :’)))

Even though Chan graduates soon after, he isn’t leaving the band!

No siree those are his kids hello

So the 8 of them work hard to become the next big boy band sensation all together, no matter how many instrument rotations it takes <3

[scentofpines]

long ass text

yesterday was one of those days where i felt like the whole world really did conspire against me. when i was at the train station i heard someone call my name and it turned out to be the girl from the welcome event last week that i got along with really well but hadnt seen since and guess why?? she switched programs. to ECONOMICS :| and we were on the train together for 30 minutes and usually that wouldve killed me to do with someone i dont know well but we were really vibing and this makes me so fucking mad, i was really looking forward to having courses with her :(

then i had a seminar (the one abt women and gender history) and it sucked. the lecturer seemed nice (albeit in a bit of a manic way) but the thing is a) half of the seminar will be reading this AWFUL book about basically the history of gender history/philosophy which i tried to force myself to read a few weeks ago and gave up after 40 pages bc i didnt get ANYTHING. and she said repeatedly how well written and understandable that book is :))) and b) even though i asked her via mail before i signed up for the course what the exam will look like and she said its a written one now she came out and said we will have to do a book presentation. and, like a normal presentation would be bad enough but doable but a book presentation?? presenting a modern scientific book about a topic instead of just presenting the topic itself seems so fucking useless to me????? i think i will drop out of this course and do a lecture abt prehistoric drugs instead bc i genuinely dont have the energy for weirdly structured stupid classes anymore.

today we were SUPPOSED to have a lecture about greek archaeology and the dude who was supposed to do it just didnt fucking show up???? we waited for 50 minutes and then just left lmao. i just looooveeed taking a stinky, 3 hour long (there and back again) train ride for nothing.

but at least i got to know two girls i guess. i already chatted with one of them on whatsapp and we talked about ukrainian/russian folk music which she also likes lol and i complimented her name, which is kinda arrogant bc i have the same one lmao just spelled differently bc hers is transcribed from ukrainian. and then she complimented mine back lol. so she seemed pretty nice and the other girl too, buttttt they are...idk extremely girly girlypop perfectly styled girls and i always feel soooo weird and out of place with women like that.

oh god and at one point they both said that they were "for real on the spectrum". bro. BRO. i have literally NEVER seen more well adjusted women who had ZERO issue conversing in this full loud ass room for 50 mins straight, who also had customer service jobs that they can do with basically no issue and that were completely chill just randomly chatting with ppl they dont know well. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING AUTISTIC. YES I TAKE THIS LABEL AWAY FROM YOU. ITS NOT YOURS. MY LEFT ASS CHEEK IS MORE AUTISTIC THAN BOTH OF YOU COMBINED but i still dont go around telling ppl im on this fucking "sPeCtRuM". this term has become so meaningless. i cant imagine how absolutely awful actually autistic ppl have to feel with everyone nowadays basically appropriating their (often) life ruining disorder if i already feel like shit. i know ppl dont mean it like that but it feels so mocking.

and tomorrow i have to get up at 6:30am and drive there again and i will probably get my presentation topic for this other course. but at least i will be back home at 1pm and then i wont have to go to uni for friday and the weekend. its only week 2 and i already feel so awful. oh and btw i fucking miss my fav professor so much it hurts, i know men are evil blabla but i have insane father hunger sometimes (i think thats what its called) and my god. would i do anthing for him to be my father. and then i see my actual father and i just want to throw up and kill either him or myself. genuinely my prof has shown me more loving consideration than my father in the last 15+ years. ok now you know the depths of my pathetic soul if you read this far congrattssss and goodnight

[rozinaaa]

I Got My Instagram Account Back

I know this seems like a rash and hasty decision, but I decided to reactivate my Instagram account (and save it from being deleted, which would have happened in just 3 days from now), mainly because I would fear that I'd end up losing everything that I put onto that platform.

On top of that, I've also realised that artists and designers need to be on Instagram, as much of an annoying rat race and battle against the algorithm that it currently is, just so that other people can actually see the work in a casual way (which seems a lot better than sticking it in a museum, since I always find museums and galleries to be an awkward experience because you're expected to quickly move along and be mindful of other visitors, so you can't really stand in front of a piece of art for half an hour and analyse it in depth, and is also better than having your work live exclusively on your site (and nowhere else), because although it's recommended, people need a gateway to your site, and social media seems to solve this problem, because no one is really going to go out of their way to casually view one person's site, as they would with their Instagram profile), since it's most likely going to be easier to discover new people on a platform that most of the population uses, especially one that's designed to be social.

Additionally, Instagram is a bit of an archive for me, since I get to see my work over the years, although not all of the work is posted in a linear way, mainly because I tend to mix it up by showing some new work (I haven't really done any pure art/illustration work since I handed in my uni work, so I'd love to just dive into it again whenever I get the chance), as well as showing some work that I created 5 years ago, but ones that still look decent to me.

I know that the r/nosurf and digital minimalism echo chambers that exist online basically tell you to ditch everything, don a flip phone (seriously, I haven't actually seen anyone use a dumb phone, apart from a few old people that are most likely past the retirement age, but even then, most people around that age tend to have a normal smartphone), live like it's still the 90's and make your life harder just to avoid a few distractions (little do they know that my mind itself is a distraction, especially when I've axed all of the other distractions and there's nothing left for me to do), because there were probably addictions and distractions before the age of social media that were just as bad, if not, worse.

You know what? Screw those pointless and ironic echo chambers, where people talk about leaving the internet… on the internet itself.

I am a visual person and I need a way to show my work (especially since most jobs ask for a portfolio, so I guess my Instagram account can also act as a portfolio), as well as being able to see what others are doing, essentially being able to stay in touch with the industry and on top of trends, mainly so that I don't run the risk of looking outdated.

I could have just waited a few more days until my account would get tossed into the void, but then I'd end up losing a bit of myself in the process, since that would have been all of my work gone, along with the revolving door of followers that I have.

It's easier said than done, but going forward, I'm going to focus less on the metrics and more on just posting consistently.

On top of that, I'm also going to unfollow everyone, and only follow people/accounts that genuinely bring me joy (as in, I get genuinely excited when I see a new post from them, and I enjoy the things that they post), because there's no point in following an account if it feels like a drag.

For this, I'm definitely going to avoid people who are way too metaphysical about the platform itself (especially those ones that either complain about the algorithm left, right, and centre (honestly, just cry about it), the so-called "entrepreneurs" peddling some generic course about hustle culture (aka burning yourself out) and whatnot, or the ones that provide "informative" posts about anything), since that gets boring really quick, and also because I'm going to be on there to avoid the risk of being out of touch with reality.

That's the first step, but later on, I'd like to perhaps create an account for the curation front (basically just consume and create content at the exact same time, essentially turning my common bad habit of scrolling through content into something that's more productive), as well as creating a new finsta account so that I can show up as myself without having to fuss about having a personal brand and all that, with the finsta basically being a slightly updated version of the ones (I had a LOT of throwaway accounts) that I used to have in high school and college.

Overall, it's good to be back I guess.

[icanonlybe-human]

I feel like, if there is one thing that I relate to Ren about the most, it was how he described first getting really sick (in his case physically).

He said that in that first year of being bedridden, he broke down to his mum and was honest with her. He said, if it gets to a year later and I’m still the same, I don’t think I can go on anymore. And then a year comes and goes, and he doesn’t get better, he doesn’t stay the same even. He gets worse. And year after year he says that if it gets any worse that he’s going to have to take his own life because it’s so fucking painful.

For those who don’t know about Ren, he’s still struggling but is better than before. And yes, he’s still alive.

But I just think about 13 year old me and the day I decided I wanted to go. Because yes, the pain was bad. Unbearable. At that point I’d been sick (depression and anxiety) for 6 years and hadn’t known it. And every year it was getting worse. Then I said, okay, your bullies are trying to tell you that you’re no good for anything and that you’re better off being not alive. Let’s prove them wrong by making it to graduation. And then it was uni. And then it was that graduation. And then it was my job.

Every year, I didn’t want to be around if the pain got much worse. But every time another year would go by and I’d still be here and in more pain than ever.

On the weekend, my aunt said that I should be happy that I got the help I needed. Oh, I am happy that I got the help I needed. I’m just furious at the fact that it took 10 years too long. A decade of suffering.

Another thing that got me was a quote from From, a tv show I’m watching. They were talking about how a person who lives on a fault line learns to accept that the world could open up and swallow them and their entire lives at any second. But they get on with said lives because they’re so used to that reality that, really, what else could they do? I feel like the same happened to Ren and I. We got so used to living with our bodies and minds attacking us that, even though we said we didn’t want to be around if the pain got worse, we still stuck around because we were used to that reality.

I don’t know if that made sense. Maybe it’ll only make sense to people who have experienced this pain.

But either way, these are just my ramblings sent out into the void. If someone makes meaning out of this when all I’m doing is trying to sort my thoughts and emotions, then great. It’s helping me either way.

[baekhvuns]

True, Olivia x Helena - what a great duo. Ohhh where did your friend met Sebastian, did they talk? I saw him on a motorcycle in London once, hahaha

Omg, The Interview... not this movie 😭 does your uni has any dark secrets then? 👀

Advice wasn't 3 years ago, but the time is running so fast I'm constantly confused. Like wdym it's almost the end of 2022...

Some people say "it's their money they can do what they want" well yeah, though sometimes I question if it's really THEIR money not their parents, because wtf??? But those stans must be so fucking bored to fly everywhere? So no job, no school? Tbh I would be too fucking tired, I love Ateez but no way I'm travelling around the world for two months just to see them. Same with fan signs/calls, just let it gooooo at some point. 😭 Most of those fans might not be dangerous, but you can't convince me this isn't some weird obsession 🤡 the urge to block, especially a few Hwa biased fans kshdjsysjsuskshwu, but I wanna see the man - the struggle 💔

You're right, I HATE the concealed lips trend so much

Baeksussy back at it, I won't trust you again 🔪 Wolf Girl and Black Prince is controversial, but some people love it and I'm like??? It's not even dumb, entertaining fun, it's just awful. I only bothered because the guy looked good, but his personality? TRASH. And Erica... girl, have you no shame. Brother's Conflict I- yeah remember, who allowed it?! The guys were pretty tho

I read the latest installment of Campus Affair and SJ is also giving DUMB. I CANNOT WITH HIM 😭 is there nothing behind that forehead??? Damn I need to catch up on the Harem. Tbh the character doesn't need to be black-haired, I can envision Hwa in every hair colour basically

I think BBC was shocked that someone as cheerful and nice as Chuu decided to stand up for herself. Ooooh I hope all the members can get away from that company (I think Vivi can't because she's a foreigner and would have to leave Korea </3), but not BBC denying it ofc lmao. I also hope Omega X wins their case and comes back soon.

Yes the chest, the Hwaboobs need to be covered too

I almost thought Spain x Germany would end in 0:0, hshahsiagshsha it was still a draw, but wtfffff. I could never take Neymar seriously, I know he has his moments, but I can't stand him and his shitty acting, he learnt all the tricks in Barca lmaooo 💀 this guy did a Neymar. ??? Yes, Tottenham players are doing well, can't deny it.....

I don't follow WayV's music, but I always see their questionable or loser behaviour, especially Yangyang 💀 but I felt that video actually, it happened to me

I need Soohyuk's sweater and I need Seonghwa in his sweater 🤗

I tried to find the best tier list, but all of them were missing something. My friend said she actually started making her own list a few months ago, sooooo maybe we will help her 👀 BESTIE THE HOLIDAY THAT LOW NOOOOOOO. Wait you didn't see Love, Rosie?! :o you must see it IMMEDIATELY. Here is mine

Stop because when Seonghwa dropped THE pool photos I instantly thought of that tenelka fic

WHITE HAIRED HWA IN THE JAPANESE MV LET'S GO LET'S DIE

That's what I said when they announced SuperM, no Changmin but Lookass?! Be serious 🔫

THE 2ND ONE I'M GONNA KMS!!!

I'm afraid about Seonghwa's and Mingi's hair, please please please no scissors 😭😭😭😭 and I don't wanna say goodbye to blonde Hwa either 💔💔💔💔

DO NOT SAY THAT TO ME I'M THE STEALER

Very true <3 I'm crying lol

WHAT THE FUCKKKKK. Seonghwa's a cutie though

.......... If I saw him outside my window I'd have jumped - DV 💖

hi hello!!!

True, Olivia x Helena - what a great duo. Ohhh where did your friend met Sebastian, did they talk? I saw him on a motorcycle in London once, hahaha

i need them to play like a fairy god mother vs the ‘evil fairy god other” I NEED THEM ON A DISNEY FILM !!!! they didn’t! the rush hour was too much but my friend momentarily froze bC JUST RANDOMLY?? we do not see anyone else but our canadian mascot ryan reynolds here so it was quite a surprise fhdbd AYOO??

Omg, The Interview... not this movie 😭 does your uni has any dark secrets then? 👀

LMFAOOOO YEAH THAT MOVIE 😭😭😭 seth rogan made my uni mad it was a whole fiasco fhsbshd,,, u know what i do know if they do but it is a creepy uni,, the most dark secret i know is that there’s a avocado statue in the uni garden <3 lights up as well <3 fbwndh

Advice wasn't 3 years ago, but the time is running so fast I'm constantly confused. Like wdym it's almost the end of 2022...

no bc why did november skim past so fast??? it was oct 31st like yesterday and now it’s snowing and dec 1st???? wHAAAT??? time is a simulation

Some people say "it's their money they can do what they want" well yeah, though sometimes I question if it's really THEIR money not their parents, because wtf??? But those stans must be so fucking bored to fly everywhere? So no job, no school? Tbh I would be too fucking tired, I love Ateez but no way I'm travelling around the world for two months just to see them. Same with fan signs/calls, just let it gooooo at some point. 😭 Most of those fans might not be dangerous, but you can't convince me this isn't some weird obsession 🤡 the urge to block, especially a few Hwa biased fans kshdjsysjsuskshwu, but I wanna see the man - the struggle 💔

NO BC EVEN IF IT IS THEIR MONEY,,, don’t u get bored seeing the same idols again? like isnt it inconvenient to sit on a plane and travel 7 seas away to attend a 1 hour fansign jetlagged completely??? no school, no job??? just vibes??? NO BC IS IT NOT TIRING TO WANNA TRAVEL WITH THEM REPEATEDLY??? “but you can't convince me this isn't some weird obsession” no u are correct, i get that they wanna travel just bc “yolo” but come on bro spending 400$+ on tickets for 2 months at idk 12 shows??? is it not tiring like id be physically exhausted at the second day of the concert, like ive seen this exact setlist yesterday why do i wanna see it for 2 more months 🤨 FBANDHWK SOFTBLOCKING THE FANSITES

You're right, I HATE the concealed lips trend so much

no like, we’re not gonna kiss it??? why are u hiding them??? it’s the bronzer and the concealer im about to fire this makeup artist 🔫

Baeksussy back at it, I won't trust you again 🔪 Wolf Girl and Black Prince is controversial, but some people love it and I'm like??? It's not even dumb, entertaining fun, it's just awful. I only bothered because the guy looked good, but his personality? TRASH. And Erica... girl, have you no shame. Brother's Conflict I- yeah remember, who allowed it?! The guys were pretty tho

LMFAOOOO 😭😭 no bc it had POTENTIAL but it was executed terribly tbh,, YOURE RIGHT HIS PERSONALITY WAS TRASH THEY WANTED TO MAKE HIM SEEM LIKE A USUI 2.0 BUT FAILED AT IT SO BAD,,,see the red haired one in brothers conflict, do u rmr subaru i-

I read the latest installment of Campus Affair and SJ is also giving DUMB. I CANNOT WITH HIM 😭 is there nothing behind that forehead??? Damn I need to catch up on the Harem. Tbh the character doesn't need to be black-haired, I can envision Hwa in every hair colour basically

FBWNDHWJ IM NOT THERE YET BUT THEYRE ALL SO DUMB 😭😭😭 NOTHING BEHIND THE FOREHEAD STOP IM GONNA USE THIS AS A DIALOGUE IN THTIS YUNHO FUC FBENFHEJ ,,, i also have it catches up on harem ever since that webtoon update about free passes each day like MF i can’t even read nothing???,,, ur absolutely correct, he is red haired hwa <3 but im sorry this. this guy right here.

I think BBC was shocked that someone as cheerful and nice as Chuu decided to stand up for herself. Ooooh I hope all the members can get away from that company (I think Vivi can't because she's a foreigner and would have to leave Korea </3), but not BBC denying it ofc lmao. I also hope Omega X wins their case and comes back soon.

YEAH!! the way they keep denying everything and jtbc calling them out on it fbdbd,, bc chuu’s so loved globally hopefully she doesn’t get blacklisted like a certain someone! vivi and hyunjin, hopefully vivi’s working with the visa issues before terminating! i hope so too! have a lot of evidence and hopefully they win!!

Yes the chest, the Hwaboobs need to be covered too

hwaboobs and sooboobs. need them both in a room, covered.

I almost thought Spain x Germany would end in 0:0, hshahsiagshsha it was still a draw, but wtfffff. I could never take Neymar seriously, I know he has his moments, but I can't stand him and his shitty acting, he learnt all the tricks in Barca lmaooo 💀 this guy did a Neymar. ??? Yes, Tottenham players are doing well, can't deny it.....

NO BC GERMANY IS NOT HERE TO LOSE,, seriously the teams this year are so unpredictably good <3 i keep laughing at how the guy from the saudi team got touched and he rolled over and fell 😭😭 mf how dramatic are u 😭🤚🏼 he deserves a rolls royce for that acting fbsnd,, LMFAOOOO neymar is so jokes STOP FBWKDHWK HES IN HIS NEYMAR ERA COMEON MAN LEARN FROM HIM,, he pretend to be hurt every match and now he is! LEARN 😭😭 ngl sk was robbed of a goal 🤚🏼

I don't follow WayV's music, but I always see their questionable or loser behaviour, especially Yangyang 💀 but I felt that video actually, it happened to me

wayv is so questionable sometimes i forget they’re a group bc they act like a walking talking sitcom,,, and yangyang,, why’s he always set up like that, breathing hard and groaning over a TAP FBWKDJAK

I need Soohyuk's sweater and I need Seonghwa in his sweater 🤗

im about to make soohyuk hwa’s father in the next fic, i can’t take this resemblance anymore every time. i just see him and go “so that’s what dilf seonghwa would look like, huh”

I tried to find the best tier list, but all of them were missing something. My friend said she actually started making her own list a few months ago, sooooo maybe we will help her 👀 BESTIE THE HOLIDAY THAT LOW NOOOOOOO. Wait you didn't see Love, Rosie?! :o you must see it IMMEDIATELY. Here is mine

SEND OVER THAT LIST ASAAAPPP BESTIES FRIEND!!! SAVE US,, lOOK HEAR ME OUT I DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT PROPERLY OKAY WHEN I DID IT WAS A MESS AND IT LEFT THAT IMPRESSION ON ME,, ILL REWATCH IT ONE DAY,, AND EXUSE ME WHY IS 5 YEAR ENGAGEMENT SO LOW ON UR CHART 🔫🔫 WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY

Stop because when Seonghwa dropped THE pool photos I instantly thought of that tenelka fic

no bc is this not… AD..

WHITE HAIRED HWA IN THE JAPANESE MV LET'S GO LET'S DIE //// That's what I said when they announced SuperM, no Changmin but Lookass?! Be serious 🔫

BETSIE WHAT IS THIS MV I HAVE NOT STOPPED SCREAMING !!!! no srs??! changmin would’ve been the best top tier addition to superm! his vocals and his dynamic with everyone would just been so much better!

THE 2ND ONE I'M GONNA KMS!!! /// I'm afraid about Seonghwa's and Mingi's hair, please please please no scissors 😭😭😭😭 and I don't wanna say goodbye to blonde Hwa either 💔💔💔💔

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT, FIRST THE LIP STAINS AND NOW THESE PC’S 😭😭 WHY DO THE JPN ALBUMS HAVE TO BE SO EXPENSIVE I WANT THIS FRAMED 😭😭😭 if the stylist comes near mingihwa or yeo,, im boycotting them 🔫

DO NOT SAY THAT TO ME I'M THE STEALER

DHWKDHKWDHKW HE SAID IT AGAIN WHAT IS THIS MAN DOING 😭😭 BAITING US

Very true <3 I'm crying lol //// WHAT THE FUCKKKKK. Seonghwa's a cutie though

omg stop it, his aura changes when he’s blond,,, idk if ive seen this before but after kai’s blond hair in monster ithought id never see an aura like that BUT seonghwa’s blond, every fucking type of it, im so in love. he’s so different with blond hair, it’s his fratboy calling actually

STOP I WAS ABOUT TO SEND THAT TO U

.......... If I saw him outside my window I'd have jumped - DV 💖

but uhhh anon is this not model hwa for a street magazine shoot. 🙂. I wOULD NOT LET GO OF THIS MAN bc what is this

anon 😭😭🤚🏼

mingi has joined the ysl line, i knew i could trust him, will be preparing a model mingi au

very surprising news, i dreamt about the guy who performed dreamers at fifa <3 first time. im, apparently, obsessed.

and exo finally exoing 😭🤚🏼 idk if u can see me crying

and i need to u do this. COMEON.

HE IS SO CUTE

[veryaren]

hi. additional premanor luchinini thoughts. not for the faint of heart (aka it's a long list. Of dumb things. history buffs leav eme alone I know nothing about late victorian era) (be aware this is mega convoluted and just a mess of thoughts I've had over the span of this month)

- I keep thinking of the same scenario for them meeting.................. Some kind of party/ball/event whatever you want to call it. Luchino is fundraising with thompson, looking for investors whatever you want to call it. essentiallt, The university needs MONEY for his department buddy. He is not enjoying the social part. He thought he might get to talk about his actual work more but it's mostly social matters. Better luck next time bud

-Antonio is part of the orchestra hired for the event! Yahoo! Good for this guy. Getting those gigs. Great job man. He's also there to DRANK

-luchino sees him thru the night a few times....playinh during the orchestra's reps....walkbys.....servinh tables....More like a passing 'what a handsome guy.' Sitch. No real incessant urge to be this guy's house husband yet.

-maybe at one point. Luchino gets a teeny tipsy (likely from drinking just to look too busy for major verbal contribution. I do Not Think social events are his big thing.) (Take that one Eli letter for example. He just kinda sat there while they talked to each other and only really got semi interested when Eli asked about something herpetology-adjacent.) So he goes out to a balcony to sober up some. And what not

- antonio (drunk off his balls,yet still able to KILL on them strings), being the promiscuous freakateek he is has noticed those professor jubblies. those fun bags. double es. thru the night and finds him out there.

- he starts out flirting subtly. luchino cannot figure it out. it eventually gets very obvious, buy all luchino is registering is that "wow this guy is interested in what I want to talk about, first time the whole night .how fun" and eventually. Antonio just actually starts talking to him because he genuinely enjoys the chat

- eventually though. I think luchino would realize . Antonio's original intentions. But at this point he's like. Man. I fw this guy. Why not

- cue "I get off on you" by the rose brothers

- weirdly enough it starts as purely like a strange benefit friendship thing. neither mind the arrangement at all at first. Antonio will come find him at (usually predetermined ) times of the week. (Which isn't very hard considering he's either at home or at the uni. Dweeb) . He'll take him out somewhere or do something beforehand and then do that 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 thang.

-its a very basic friendship at first! Until it isn't. And they start (dubiously) developing feelings. Luchino would need more time to think on it rather than being completely conflicted. Antonio on the other hand. He has a lifestyle. Maintained it for years. (I don't know if his past lover. The one he accidentally hurt is still canon for this weird universe. But for now let's say yes) and everytime he breaks it it does not end well. so he is very opposed. He likes the simplicity and inconsequential nature of his recreational relationships

-ALSO. about Antonio's deductions... Grins so evil.... Y know that one where he leaves a record ona window sill to one of his lovers. ... I know that was likely meant for the woman his letters..... But guess what. I'm from GAY LAND. he gives it to luchino in a moment of faggy weakness. And luchino wholly realizes his feelings there.

- from that point on, things seem pretty good for these guys. If this was a fic or something this point in the plot would be JAM PACKED with soft domestic beautiful majestic nwlnw LOVE... Antonio seems to even be cutting back ona few of his vices. If only for luchi. Also other silly self indulgent things like luchi going to his concerts or Antonio just watching him at the lab (Thompson hates when he's in the lab)

- again, IF THIS WAS a full fledged thing. The climax point would be where I would shove the timeline of luchino's mutation. OF COURSE, THOUGH I DON'T MENTION IT HERE. it would be nice to subtly mention in little tidbits building up to this point how dedicated luchi is to what he does. which would make his next choices make a bit more sense, seem less abrupt etc eyc

- he, of course, gives himself cabin fever. coops up and keeps documenting his progress. He is such a freak dude. Like have you seen his trailer video. This is horribly painful. BUT HE'S GREATLY EXCITED TO SEE THE PROGRESSION. even in his jp twt replies he's like "nah. this is scientific!" Hey, hey buddy, you're bleeding from where you peeled off your scales, just an FYI. NOT TO MENTION HIS SKILL DESC???? THE SCALE REMOVAL DRIVES HIM TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY???? (<- verbatim what it says) how's the brink of insanity treating you man

- Antonio quickly notices his absence (it really puts it into perspective for him, just how much of his time he's spent with luchino) and grows concerned. I would too if my boobily breasting situationship dropped off the face of the earth all of a sudden. But, having been dumped this exact same way before (ghosting,mentioned in his deductions), he's quick to assume the worst! Relapse hour

- I think luchi's main reason for avoiding Antonio like the plague would be. For the sake of his research. I think that if Antonio told him to stop it he would! and he knows it! So he can't jeopardize it. (Which is where the fire ass pussy papa Louie pals post comes from. yeah.)

- the scene that image is meant to be depicting is when luchino completely breaks it off. he's in that SICK ASS trenchcoat outfit just trying to buy essentials and what not. food is not something he can always just have without going outside unfortunately (I don't ever get to mention how hard that outfit is. I like it a lot even though he looks like inspector Gadget) in order to hide all the scales and what not. Imagine one of those cinematic caught in the rain dramatic breakups. Basically the vibe. Antonio is asking where he's been, if something's wrong, and Luchino (refusing to face him) breaks off what they had

-"it's over" "look me in the eye and say that" "goodbye" kinda thing. to put it in a tropey sense

- Antonio is obviously not ok. Complete relapse. Again, imagine a cinematic montage of someone just getting SHITFACED with deceptively energized music over it to avoid tradgedy. Someone needs to watch this guy or he's gonna end up on the news. Luchi either. Nobody is happy (except maybe Thompson, get the fags out the lab)

- by this point, luchino is GAWN gone. not sure what to say or how to phrase this very well. But he's out of the area, traveling to oletus now by this point likely. Antonio (Most likely drunkenly, I know he has been drunk very often through this but I promise that is not the intention, for it to be his only driving plot point for my vision) Wants to see him at least one more time.

- He goes to Thompson (the only guy who really might know where he is) he is then informed that, no, Thompson hasn't seen luchino for days. The last anyone had seen of him since weeks ago was a few bloody scales (see evil reptillian deductions)

-needing an out from the subsequent despair that follows after getting that tasty piece of news, Antonio takes up the Royals on their job opportunity!!! (Again, see his deductions) (this is another factor I would minorly sprinkle in here and there, just for it to make sense and feel less chunky later)

AKA THE GAYS DO NOT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING....... at least in premanor

If I were to write them happy . it would be in one of those "full manor" situations I like to call it. When all characters are living and participants at once. That'd be easier than trying to jam their canon games together. I already have a slight idea of how I would configure the full manor situation in general. Emm anyway it's 1am k need to sleep

hi

t4t luchininj

bye

[capricorn-stark]

Late Night Drives w the Batboys

warning: none

a/n: just trying headcanons lol, lmk me what you think. also, tysm once again for 100 follows you guys!!!

Dick Grayson

The drives probably happen after a date or after he picks you up from work/uni on a Friday night

First thing he does every time is turning on the radio

He’s down for whatever you like listening to, but if you’re good with anything it’s probably just pop hits

You’ll probably hear him humming some of the tunes under his breath or tapping his fingers against the wheel to match the beat

He loves talking and making conversations with you while driving

Will tell you about all sorts of crazy shit going on in his life, whether it’s about his day job or what happens during patrols

Loves listening to your stories and about the random issues going on in your life, gives great advice (when it’s not him making the decisions) and is just generally wonderful to talk to

He feels like the type of guy to take your hand while he’s driving or when you’re just sitting at a red light or stuck in traffic

You’re either going to drive around for the sake of driving around, or he’ll take you to one of Bludhaven’s docks or some hillside, some place with a nice view

Sitting on the hood of his car and just talking while he holds your hand, wraps his arms around your waist, brushes your hair out of your face

Just little things that make you know he’s paying attention and makes you feel like he really loves you, which he does

Jason Todd

If you’re in a car, he would be blasting music and it would probably be both of you screaming out the lyrics to the song that’s on

I feel like there would be a time where one of you doesn’t know the lyrics and tries to discreetly look them up without the other person realizing it

The other person totally figures that out and you never let them live it down

Probably the handsier type, one hand on the wheel while he drives, other hand resting on your thigh

Acts like he doesn’t know the effect he has on you 

But he definitely does, considering how long you’ve been together

I also feel like he’d probably take you for trips on his bike instead of a car, though, so if you’re taking his bike: 

He likes having your arms wrapped around him while he drives, he likes feeling you relax and resting your head against his shoulder

He loves driving, so he might just take you down long mostly-empty roads and just fly through the night

Depending on his mood and yours you could be talking about anything from his dark traumatic past to discussing how great the new chilidog place is downtown

With Jason you can literally never tell

Will probably pull over at some point to chill on his bike, talk, or kiss

He’s bad at telling you he loves you so times like these are his way of letting you know that

Driving is his way to escape, and he loves having you there with him to feel like you and him are the only things that matter for a little while

Tim Drake

You’re probably the one dragging him out of the house or his office just to get him to stop working for an hour or so

He’ll definitely protest saying he has “so much work to do” and how he’s “so close to being done”, but you both know he secretly loves taking a break just to drive with you

It’s mostly just you guys talking about absolutely anything and everything, from his life at WE to philosophical debates about stupid shit

And I mean just random, stupid shit

“If you drop soap on the floor, is the floor clean or is the soap dirty?"

“If I try to fail, but succeed, which one did I do?"

“...Tim, is this a personal question? Because I feel like you’re talking about something you personally went through right now-”

He gets really into these kind of conversations

You’ll probably stop by a drive-through to grab something to eat while chilling in your car

He’ll let you steal his fries 

Unless he was talking about how his day was going and brings up the office, he won’t even mention work

He’s definitely way more interested in you and what you have to say, he loves hearing about your problems and trying to think of ways to help you get around them

These would be some of the few times he really gets to forget about everything else and focus on just you, and he loves it

Damian Wayne (aged up) 

Honey, he steals the Batmobile

Like actually, he’s done it before in the comics to impress chicks and you can bet he’d do it again

If he acts this way as a literal twelve year old imagine what he’s gonna do when he’s older

You’d have a fine time perusing around in it, clicking all the weird buttons it has just to “test out” the different functions

You may or may not have accidentally activated the flamethrowers Bruce had installed for unknown reasons

And that may or may not have ended up getting you guys caught after some poor GCPD officer on a late shift saw the Batmobile zooming down the street with a whole column of fire shooting out of it, but it ended up being okay because Damian acted like he didn’t know what his father was talking about when he was confronted with it

Otherwise, you’d probably end up on a late night drive after you and Damian decide to ditch a gala or some random fancy party

“It was far too stuffy to stay in that place, Father will understand our absence.”

“Damian, you were hosting the event.”

He lets you do most of the talking during the drive because he likes listening to you and the sound of your voice

He’ll still act all cool, but he’ll be smiling and letting out the occasional laugh at your stories here and there, adding on his own snarky comments or stories every once in a while

Instead of going home, he’ll probably want to take you somewhere to grab dinner or just to head to a nice part of Gotham to get a moment between yourselves and enjoy a pretty view

He feels like the type of guy who would really be into grand gestures and giving you the best of the best for literally everything

So your late night drives are little moments where he’s dialing all that back just to get some time alone with you, listen to you, and get to know you better 

And as much as he’ll deny it to everyone else, he’d love those moments the most

______________________________________________________________

Taglist: @cipheress-to-k-pop 

[dolugecat]

On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):

(Rb ok!)

Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):

Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)

There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.

Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)

I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.

Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.

Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)

With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.

I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.

But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!