#go look at moths just for no reason theyre all so cool

[tubbytarchia]

Rethinking my Pearl design actually...

Alts and refs under cut (Moth CW)

Sorry you're actually just gonna have to open this in a new tab and zoom in to read my thoughts lol I'm... too lazy sorry... Pearl I love her so

[mothcrumbs]

I would liek to hear about the diatoms....

OH BOY YOU JUST PRESSED THE

AUTISM BUTTON

so. algae. we all know em, not everyone loves em, but they sure as hell exist theyre out there doin their jobs, producing oxygen and sometimes toxic chemicals depending on the flavor now imagine algae. but in a Cool As Hell Glass house.

mother.fucking. Diatoms

now these guys are fairly cool just on their own yeah? just chillin in their own lil crunchyass shells, photosynthesizing, vibing, generally just having a good time n not doing much but! some of those fellas? they be absolutely fuckin SCHMOVIN up in this bitch of an earth

i mean look at this totally normal faggot [bundle of sticks]

just a cluster of guys, yeah? totally normal guys that dont do a whole lot of moving

WRONG. THEYRE GROOVIN.

THESE. BITCHES. ARE. MOTILE. the bitches are motile. now that on its own? again, not too horribly interesting. i mean most microscopic organisms are pretty good at moving around in their tiny but huge worlds, but usually they use things like flagella or cilia, but these guys? my favorite guys? good ol bacillaria?

aint shit to be seen. if they have em they aint very visible, so their movement isnt all that well understood.

they just kinda. glide around in this almost elegant sort of way, almost like an inchworm but microscopic and a hell of a lot weirder and cooler

BUT YKNOW WHAT ELSE IS FUCKIN COOL?

thriller movies.

"but moth," absolutely nobody is asking "what the actual hell does that have to do with anything?" well my wonderful motherfucker, let me introduce you to The Birds

a fairly well known thriller that gave many people a [fairly reasonable] fear of. well. birds! in this movie birds are seen terrorizing the residents of a small lil village by the coast, sometimes going full suicide bomber on peoples asses by flying into peoples doors n windows n shit what if i told ya that that movie was based on an actual event? an event caused by our good pal, the diatom<3

ysee, like their non crunchy houseless algae pals, diatoms can sometimes produce toxins [like domoic acid in this case] marine diatoms get munched by filter feeders n such, those guys get eaten by birds, the birds go batshit fucking insane and die en masse, entire flocks just kinda losing it and flying into buildings because of the Fucking Poison they just consumed

real crazy shit, but yknow. circle of life n whatnot. anyways have a nice day<3 and make sure to think about diatoms next time you see a thriller<3

[zackcharine]

character appearance 18+19? for anyone or all of them wersdg

18. Does your character have a favorite outfit?

AUGHHH I wish could draw them so you could like. see what im talking about, but im really tired so im leaving that for future Isaac JDJDHD

• BF :

His fav outfit is the one he usually wears ! He loves the super baggy white or black t-shirt + sweatpants combo and that's the majority of his wardrobe LMAO

• Pico :

Pico fucking loooves the sweater he gets halfway through S2, its like, his biggest comfort item but his fav outfit is something i have yet to draw. Black turtleneck (or tank top) + cardigan that's way too big for him + ripped black jeans. I don't think he cares about shoes JDJDHD

He rarely puts a lot of thought in what he wears/what he looks like, but this is one of the few things that he feels really fucking nice while wearing it !! He only uses it when he's trying to feel cool/fancy

Gf likes playing dress up when she goes shopping (and she then proceeds to leave without buying anything) and sometimes Pico and Bf go with her, and that's how he got them :D

• GF :

Gf's fav outfit is pretty much just her usual look but add a leather jacket + some fun looking earrings and maybe different heels !

Fun fact: that's what she was wearing when her and Bf first met in swim slowly :]

It's still pretty close to the stuff her parents would normally get for her to wear, but it's still customized enough to add sentimental value to it lololol ( the jacket has a bunch of cute pins, and then some patches. Courtesy of Bf jdhdgd he loves customizing stuff)

19. If your character had to get a tattoo what would it be?

GIGGLINGGGG I'm probably only gonna do Bf for this one bc I'm still unsure about the other 2... BUT THIS IS SOMETHING I THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT

This is another thing that I still have to draw jdhdgd But Bee actually gets tattoos after he's been together with Gf and Pico for a while. He has two bugs on his ribcage: a stag beetle for Gf and a moth for Pico !!!

I still gotta think about a more natural reason why chooses these djdhdh but they represent some pretty important things about the way i characterize them in S2

I chose a beetle for Gf (bc theyre cool and biasedjfhd) bc they have a strong exoskeleton that protects + shapes them. This reminds me a lot of her issues in S2 and how she had to build strong walls to survive the environment she was raised in + and how that extends to her shapeshifting. This results in her appearing to be put together when she's not and the moment she leaves her parents house to live with Bf and Pico all these do is make her feel trapped/isolated from them. She has to go on a really long path to break them + get used to the way things are now.

I think it's kinda obvious why i picked a moth for Pico djhdhd he's constantly chasing warm/comfort/safety no matter how much he tries to convince himself that he doesn't deserve good things. I love him. The yearner. He's constantly throwing himself in dumb situations and then being like. Idk why i did that!!! It's because he's so lonely and keeps isolating himself. It's because he's desesperate for human connection

[alienssstufff]

DSMP and Bug Symbolism

actually in light of my c!dream design - to note there is a lot of symbolism when associating dsmp members with bugs. going to use this post to just whwwh talk about some of them! 

A little bit of an overview, in a way the Dream SMP can be interpreted as a greenhouse that houses all sorts of bugs... and DreamXD in His godly form is the server’s Gardener, The Entomologist, The Collector - This is a list of some of some of the bugs He has on display (all that I’ve thought of so far):

>DREAMXD: Centipede (earthform when He communicates with the characters) >DREAM: Polyphemus Moth >DRISTA: Io Moth >GEORGE: Blue Morpho Butterfly >SAPNAP: Fire Ants (collective) >AWESAMDUDE: Termites (collective) >PUNZ: Murder Hornet >PURPLED: Wasp >TUBBO: Honey Bees (collective) >TOMMY: Fly >ERYN: Firefly >WILBUR: Cockroach >PHILZA: Emerald Beetle >TECHNOBLADE: Rhino Beetle >ERET: Queen Alexandria’s Birdwing >SCHLATT: Goliath Tarantula >SLIMECICLE: Earthworm :] >FOOLISH: Milipede >HANNAH: Dragonfly

[Continuation of explanations under cut]

Some of them have reasonings behind, others like punz and purpled i see them go hand in hand so theyre similar bugs

>DREAM & DRISTA: (Polyphemus Moth, Io Moth) As DreamXD is the god of order, Drista exists to counter Him and shows up in the form of moth swarms atc. Hc that after losing his face, Drista gives him a moth companion. Polyphemus moths are known to intimidate predators by their haunting faces. And Io moths do ,,, just about the same tactic but when they do it they look like the :3 face

>GEORGE: (Blue Morpho Butterfly) Symbolically the opposite of what a moth is. Unlike Dream who was cursed by the world, George was blessed by it. My lore of George is that he is gifted a blue butterfly BY DreamXD because he found him pretty or smth and wanted to preserve that face of his. And UNLIKE Dream’s moth, George’s butterfly exists to cover his line of sight. Like rose tinted glasses, the butterfly makes him see the world completely differently, more dreamy ethereal like (lmao the dream realm) that DreamXD says to protect his eyes from seeing the imperfections of the real world. Trivia: According to consensus, blue morpho butterflies are considered the world’s most prettiest butterfly!

>SAPNAP: (Fire Ants) I say collective as he to me can act like a one man army he is ALL those ants and exists to serve and protect those worth protecting. In a way the downside being that at times perhaps Sapnap is only seen as such, a sword forced to act like a shield.

>TUBBO: (Honey bees) Obvious choice but wanted to mention him anyway as a collective similar to Sapnap. Honey bees work and serve something, they are born with a purpose and work until they die. And as the server’s youngest political figure with the strength of a hundred responsibilities pinned to his back I find that painfully fitting.

>TOMMY: (Fly) He’s associated better with flies than he is with butterflies I will DIE on this hill! Butterflies are adored by many, they are loved by the entomologist and are known for their beauty. Unlike George (who is a butterfly), Dream sees Tommy as the opposite, he finds him an ugly mark on the server “a pest that won’t go away” - Canon words by Dream somewhere. More symbolism, flies are fast and easy to kill. And once you kill them - there will always be another one to replace it (the many Tommy deaths, Dream killing and reviving him cycle)

>WILBUR: (Cockroach) Very similar connotations with Tommy, he is also seen as a pest. He like cockroaches they are difficult to kill - if you throw anything at it you’d be sure to know they’ll come right back up. They are resilient.

>ERET: (Queen Alexandria’s Birdwing) [TBH I personally think the queen alexandrias are wayyy prettier than blue butterflies but that’s just me cough] Queen Alexandria’s Birdwings while lesser known than the blue butterfly are considered the world’s largest butterflies. Knowing that and by how cool the name sounds - this association would be perfect for Eret! These butterflies also are known to show up in two different colours indicating the organism’s gender: males are turquoise, females are brown - both are beautiful to me :] I like to hc that Eret is associated with both butterfly patterns with the multiple pronouns she uses and their embrace with both masculine and feminine fashion alike. LIKE she is found wearing a brown gown during and up to his dethronement - WHILE they change to a blue dress after the betrayal ALSO ALSO the crown Eret has while in rule isn’t actually a crown but a golden, heavy war helmet in the shape of a butterfly head (like the actual in-game gold helmet he throws down the lmanburg ruins)

>SCHLATT: (Goliath Tarantula) Big guy. World’s biggest spider. While not poisonous it’s big. It fucking eats birds and small rodents. Big guy.

>SLIMECICLE: (Earthworm) Slimy guy. It goes snore snore mimi in the dirt forever. I like him :]

>HANNAH: (Dragonfly) Very buzzy like a bee, elegant still like a butterfly.  Unrelated-ish my irl dad used to do this thing where he would catch dragonflies by the wings and that reminded me of how Hannah loses her wings in canon :[

More to be added,,, one day x]

[nitroish]

i would love to hear more about legends and warriors friendship

BOY HOWDY HERE WE GO! yall enable me smh

- legend did Not like warriors when they first met. hed definitely go a bit too far in insults (tho he kinda did that w most of them), though it was mostly jabs about military things and less about warriors himself

- when warriors starts playing along and lightheartedly answering legend's jabs back cues the start of a ~ beautiful friendship ~ and legend eases up on his more genuine insults

- legend and warriors end up having late night conversations when one of them is awake during the other's shift. its not rare for it to happen by any means, but it is uncommon so they enjoy the time when they can. this is usually when more of the more delirious comments and banter comes out to play. its one of those talks you have with your friend at 1-6am that starts with casual conversation, takes a sharp turn to trauma, and then dissolves into sleepy delirium

- sometimes they're just sitting together silently at night and one of them catches the other's eye and they both start fucking cackling for no reason. they settle down and then one of them fuckin giggles and they dissolve into a fucking fit of laughter again until someone tells them to shut up. (they do not shut up.)

- they fight so seamlessly together. its REALLY damn cool. you could swear theyve done this before, but in reality they just understand what the other person is thinking and a Look one of them shoots at the other just kinda spells everything out. all the plans and ideas - they know each other well enough to adapt to what the other person is doing and they definitely trust one another to pull off some of the more crazy stunts legend or warriors have thought up during a battle. if one of them says "duck" they do not fucking hesitate.

- very quickly, though not very easily, warriors becomes one of the first people legend goes to to confide in. if he does not want something sugarcoated, warriors is (one of) his best bets for that. it also goes the other way - legend does not sugarcoat anything and will readily tell warriors if hes being stupid.

- they both are very good at balancing seriousness and lighthearted comments, but theyre also capable of being Very Serious if a situation calls for it.

theres a moth in my fucking room. help

- warriors is very aware that legend could absolutely beat his ass. warriors is VERY aware that legend, when the vet is In The Zone, could absolutely fuck every single one of them up. he is very supportive of him. hes also very glad legend is on their side, especially when he witnesses the guy absolutely knock out a few black blooded monsters on his own.

- legend has definitely beaten warriors ass in many spar sessions and warriors always says he cheats or fought dirty. legend disagrees <3 u just suck, bro, get good :///

- warriors and legend bet but most of the time neither of them actually follow through with the bet's prize so sometimes theyll come up with the funniest fucking prizes and then say shit like "hey you owe me fifty bees, remember?" or "you still owe me half your inventory" or "dont i get to have the next [sweet food/good item] you get/are given?"

- just wait til you hear about the time warriors got legend to go swimming/run around with him in the rain. (not a lightning storm, but it was heavy rain. its very nice btw.)

- just wait til you hear about the time legend got warriors to sneak into the castle with him. (common, legends done it loads of times. he deserves it. fable doesnt mind anyway)

what else could i add. idk. i could definitely go on and on but i will spare you.

legend and warriors are best fucking friends. thanks for coming to my tedtalk i finished typing all of this at 1:23am what a nice note to end on KJGFFD

[kokocharm]

bruh ive had so many main chars. Like uhhh heres a list boys

- Pheasent (she/her)

This was my first char and this is the oldest image I can find of her. My yt channels first name was "Pheasent," which was indeed intentional. I did not know what a pheasant was at the time, i was like 9 lmao

- Luna (she/her)

I eventually changed my name to • Luna Møønlight • because i thought using symbols made me cool for some reason. I dont think she ever had a set story because every animation i find of her is something entirely random. I know that her eyes changed color depending on her emotion, and theyre usually black.

Oh, she eventually got a red sweater upon the creation of "Best Friends" which is a whole nother story im not even going to TRY to explain

- whoever the fuck this guy is

I honestly didnt think i had anything with them. I dont remember their name, but I do know that they lost their eye in an attack and wore a white mask with pink on their nose, under their eyes and a weird crescent moon on their forehead. Pretty rad design tbh

- Willow (I think) he/him

this asshole was my sona for like 2 days lmfao

- Sombre (she/they)

Sombre, formerly known as Sombra, is a fictional species dubbed a "sokochou" n a series called "GreenFirest Lab." She was my mascot for a loooong while, and when i changed my name to • Invierno • on yt. The whole GFL storyline is so crazy, but the main gist of her story is that her "sokodemon" went batshit crazy, killed all the scientists, and fucking ditched. She went through a few design changes, but this is the oldest one i have

- Arion (he/him)

Arion was my fursona for a bit. And then i didnt like him so i forgot about him(⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) oopsi dasies. sorry arion

- Moth (they/them)

Moth was apart of a story I made like 1 video on. He was part of a series called "Power of Change" that i do not remmeber the details of other than this butterfly looking bitch was a total jackass lmao

- Peppermint (he/him)

Peppermint comes from a place called "Camp Rainfall" if I remember correctly. I was fixating heavily on Origins of Olympus, a Minecraft roleplay on youtube, so.. yeah uh. A lot happened in it and i think peppermint was gay idk

- Charlie (they/them)

When I moved to my new channel, I wanted a character simple to animate. Charlie's story is that they will always die before the age of 20, and theyre pissed about it. Ax is there too, I dont really know what they do

- Two (it/they)

(i couldnt find a better ref pic with their official design cus im on my phone and im lazy)

Two is my current main char ^_^ i am very happy with its design and i do genuinely enjoy animating it, unlike Charlie (sorry charlie). It doesnt have a story and i dont plan on giving it one. Its kinda just my mascot HAHA

[getallemeralds]

ive been chipping away at this for a few days now and uh. okay so there was a genre of fic i used to be really into that was basically “the author and their friends gets kidnapped by eggman and brought to sonic’s world and turned into mobians and have to escape and find a way home” and i always wanted to write my own version of it. and sometimes you need to chase that dream right into the sun

so here’s the basic lineup! i guess for this im going with the idea of the “two worlds” thing in Sonic X that apparently is games canon now, so its not like they know Everything Ever From Having Played The Sonic Games but just. already exist in that universe? but lived on earth until getting dragged over to mobius and transformed. i dunno! this also isnt canon to Chaosverse at all (mainly because CV doesn’t run off the two worlds theory at all), its just a fun thing im doin

some quick bios:

Ike / Vertigo the Cat: 17, they/them, daydreamer, is the “jumped at the call” sort of person and doesn’t so much take the situation in stride as they grab it and run with it. has wings for some reason? they can fly! and are also pretty adept with chaos powers for having once been human. doesnt really want to go home because theyre having a lot more fun on mobius

Leo / Sol the Anomaly: 18, he/him, actually a maned wolf but thought “the Anomaly” sounded cool. (technically all three of them get called “the anomaly” but Sol’s the only one that claims it as “yeah im this now”) team leader, tries very hard to keep his shit together, bit overwhelmed by everything. gets re-kidnapped along with the other three at some point and gets partially roboticized before getting rescued, but gets cool technopathy-ish powers out of the deal. colourscheme may change because i had a lot of trouble with it (originally it was just Leo’s fursona’s palette, hence the name “Sol”, but i wanted it to look more like his human form for consistency with the other two)

Pat / Ricky the Android: 16, they/them, theyre a moth! because of course Pat’s character is an android. they’re the same type of android as Vent from Chaosverse, so they’ve got liquid metal shapeshifting going on. Made Of Anxiety.

it was really fun designing all three, although figuring out colours (especially for Sol) was pretty difficult and i really didnt want to get too complicated with markings. but i think im pretty happy with this?

[goldenbeebooks]

~The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris~

Rating: 4/5 stars

I know I probably shouldn’t start of a review like this but I’m going to do it anyway: this book is A Lot™ sometimes and I think that’s one reason some people like the movie better but I will elaborate on that more later on.

In ‘The Silence of the Lambs’ we follow FBI trainee Clarice Starling who is investigating the murders of Buffalo Bill while also interviewing the famous Hannibal Lecter.

Let’s start off with the writing style because it’s my favourite thing about this series. It’s not the same as in Red Dragon, but it’s also necessary that it isn’t because the characters are so vastly different from those in the last book. In Red Dragon, we have a clear focus on emotion and intuition, whereas in this one the characters are analytical and clear on what theyre seeing or looking for exactly. It’s important for the writing style to change because otherwise it simply wouldn’t work. Luckily, Thomas Harris manages to incorporate these aspects without letting the writing fall flat.

Now, I already talked about how the characters in this book act more logical than anything, but that’s actually just kind of true. Since we see most of the book through Starling’s eyes, we also get to see her character development in full bloom. In the beginning, she’s so clearly a student it’s almost frustrating to read about her recalling how everything works and assigning a definition or meaning to everything. She’s careful about doing everything right and acting based on the rules, pushing her emotions down. And then we see her slip. And it’s done so brilliantly because neither Starling nor the reader really notice her changing until that one specific line.                                                                      Then there’s Crawford who kind of redeemed himself here after the last book in my opinion. Even though he’s such a cool and reserved character we also get a glimpse of his more human/emotional side by learning about his love for his ill wife and seeing the relationship he builds with Starling.                                        And of course, Hannibal Lecter. His intelligence and calmness are probably the most defining traits of his and we can see the extent of that in the brutality he shows to those around him, both physically and psychologically. I’m not really sure what to say about him because we learn so much yet so little about his character that I’m not sure we learned anything at all.                                           I also want to mention Barney Matthews, the security guy who guarded Lecter while he was under Chiltons care because he’s such a minor character but he’s so talented and I like him so much and he deserves a nice life.

While the writing, the characters, and the overall story are things I enjoyed a lot about this book there are a two things in particular that bothered me.

The Pacing: there were some passages that felt so agonizingly slow and drawn out I had to stop reading for a few minutes/hours so I could muster up the energy to read through them. It wasn’t too terrible but for a book that’s actually quite good at building tension and keeping the reader invested it was a little disappointing. The Pacing was inevitably tied to...

Information Dumps: Especially when in the beginning and when the story starts to pick up the pace, there were some information dumps tied into it. Some of them were necessary, so we knew what was happening and why it was important to the story. However, there was at least one giant dump that was just... not necessary...at all (yes, I’m looking at you 10 page essay about a MOTH)

There’s one last thing I want to talk about and that’s the movie adaptation.         I really enjoyed it and I would definitely recommend it (especially to those who don’t really care for the book but still want to know what the story is about). Not only is an objectively good movie, but it also follows the book so closely that I can’t really complain about anything important to the story missing. The changes that were made are understandable and don’t alter the story at all.       I’d say the movie and the book are on the same level because they both have their perks and negatives. For example, if you only watch the movie you won’t be able to get to know the characters as much as you would by reading the book, the development just isn’t as prominent and they absolutely butchered Crawford by not giving him a storyline or an actual personality. Then again, the movie has a better pacing and atmosphere than the book and Hannibal is so much creepier, Anthony Hopkins did an amazing job playing him. (These are just my opinions please don’t come for me)                                                          If you have the time and interest I recommend you check out both versions of the story, you won’t regret it.

[identitycris1s]

im back

hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...

work / school (?)

work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY

and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.

sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:) 

anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??

idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i  think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.

ermmm relationships...???

i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)

i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??

for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?

anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))

but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.

i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh 

on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice  and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.

i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.

on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....

anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!

EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes. 

[christophersymes]

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<– Previous  / Next –>

Chapter Two

masonfucker1000: hey! i cannot fucking sleep for the life of me

masonfucker1000: nosam show's today, isn't it?

familyjules: hell yes it is! im too excited to sleep too do u wanna talk for a while while i get ready

masonfucker1000: uh, yeah, arent we talking now?

familyjules: shut up i'm sleep deprived and playing bass my mind is off

masonfucker1000: playing bass? are you reallyyy playing bass? or are u playing around w ur secret bass-stripping software, wannabe christo?

familyjules: fuck you i'm actually playing, masonfucker! u want proof go here: rabb.it/familyjules

masonfucker1000: uh huh

Mason's heart was suddenly beating out of his chest as he sat up in his bunk and plugged in earphones. Was Jules gonna turn on her camera? He was already freaking out that he was in the same city as Jules, he might even see her in the crowd! The boys had already teased him plenty in the past week for being so excited for it. He took a deep breath and clicked on the link.

Elias: Show me the proof!

Jules clicked on the camera and stuck his tongue out, smiling. "Hey, dumbass," he said, internally cringing at his voice. He lifted the bass. "Proof. Right here." He started to play one of Nosam's songs, smiling while he did.

Mason had to take a deep breath as soon as Jules turned the camera on. He blushed for no reason at all as he looked down at his bare chest and SpongeBob boxers, even though she couldn't see him. Jules' voice was awesome. The first thing he noticed were her blue eyes. Mason had seen a lot of blue eyes, but these were... wow. It was as if Mason had been searching for a certain shade of blue and had just found the perfect ones.

Her hair was an absolute mess down to her shoulders, and there was glitter all over her face, and she had tattoos. Blackwork flowers covered her shoulders down to her elbows. Those flowers were framed by a thin black line that went across her collarbone and shoulders, down to the end of the flowers. He could also see a moth and red and blue outlines of a skull on her thighs. She looked good. Really good. And then she showed him the bass and started playing, and Mason was pretty sure he'd nut right there.

Elias: holy fuck. holy fuck

Elias: Jules you're gorgeous

Elias: Sorry i mean your bass playing is amazing, it is, my mind is blown

Elias: but ive heard that before. right now im looking at

Elias: your face and

Elias: you look so good

Jules continued playing a few chords while he leaned forward to see the screen. He blushed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "You're an idiot. My hair is a fuckin' mess right now, dude." He leaned back again, the bass just barely hiding the fact that he was in a pair of boxers and a tank top and nothing else. "I'm gonna respect you not turning on your cam or mic, but damn, I wish I could see you." He laughed a little at how weird that sounded. "You're making me think you're someone famous."

Mason grinned. Jules' voice was soothing and light enough to severely tone down the dangerous words coming out of her mouth, the fact that she had casually— jokingly— guessed who he was. Sort of.

Elias: aw!! youre blushing! thats a blush!! youre cute

Elias: you're gonna make me blush. are u really that desperate to see me?

Elias: im sure u wish i was some1 famous

Jules laughed again. "Asshole. Maybe I do, you could get me a record deal or some shit. I don't sing much but my sister sure as hell can and I can harmonize okay." He plucked a string. "Also I'm not desperate. Just curious."

Elias: i would in a heartbeat

Elias: SING

Elias: you gotta sing

Elias: oh im sure its a burning curiosity

Jules blushed again, but obliged. He started singing a Nosam song. He blushed through it, then coughed a little. "I'm really not that good. Better with other people."

Mason smiled wide when Jules started singing. It was similar to Chris' range— which was really good. And her voice was different. Or maybe he was just... crushing extremely hard on her.

Elias: you're a solid Chris! and better than you think!

Elias: your voice is super smooth but it also has a nice rough edge to it and its fucking rad

Elias: you're a 1000% band material all the way, jules, I swear

Jules laughed nervously, grinning. "You're biased. Definitely just saying it." He shrugged a little. "Ugh. An hour 'til I go stand in line all day for good views."

Elias: youre good!

Elias: it'll be worth it

Elias: I hope youre at the front of the stage

Elias: ha! is that what ur gonna wear? what are those, boxers?

Elias: they are!

"Hell no!" Jules laughed. "It's way too fuckin' cold for that. And yes. They are boxers— Spongebob ones to be specific." He set his bass on the bed next to him and leaned up on his knees, so Elias could see. "I should probably get dressed actually. Turning off my camera for a minute." He turned it off and started to get dressed, keeping the mic on.

Elias: FUCK

Elias: IM WEARING SPONGEBOB BOXERS TOO

Elias: wow u have killer thighs

Elias: BOOOOOOOO

Elias: now im left to imagine

Jules stopped for a second to read the messages. "Twins! And boo for you. The thighs and ass are the result of a lifetime of hockey, my friend." Jules shrugged on a flannel and started buttoning it over his tank top. "I've got a killer ass too."

Mason bit his lip at that, significantly affected by imagining Jules' killer ass.

Elias: thank fuck for hockey

Elias: oh, I believe it

Elias: i have a lacrosse bod

Mason froze after he sent it. Sure, it was in hidden corners of the internet, but it was a little-known fact he played lacrosse in high school.

Jules grinned. "Lacrosse, huh? No wonder you like Mason. He was a lacrosse player."

Elias: oh yeah? bet he wasnt as good as me

Jules pressed the camera button again after he had his jeans on, stepping back as he buttoned them. "Better? Warmer." He grinned, turning in front of the camera. He was wearing a too big flannel since he couldn't wear his binder, and ripped black jeans. "With boots. It's kinda too pop punk for Nosam but y'know."

Mason swallowed as he fixated on Jules' ass. He blushed at the screen and looked up at the bottom of the top bunk. This was ridiculous.

Elias: hotter, definitely, yes

Elias: Pop punk is rad

Elias: and you rock it

Jules sat down again and grinned. "Thanks, man." He pulled the hair tie out of his hair and started to fix it, pulling half back again. "How are Nosam concerts? I mean, I've seen videos, but I haven't ever thought about asking about like... the fans? How did people act?"

Elias: lots of hype. really loud. lots of glitter, merch, posters. as u know, nosam fans are dedicated. altho some people won't even know who they are and pretend they know the songs, which is hilarious. lots of shirtless ppl after T-Shirt Song. might be some shoving around so be careful. theres some younger teenage fans too, they might get a bit much but theyre definitely passionate. older fans are adorable

Jules took a second to read it, playing with a pillow in his lap. "Sounds fun. I— nah, I'll just take off the tank when T-Shirt Song is played. Fuck, I'm so excited. That just made me even more excited. Fuck!"

Mason grinned as he watched Jules get gradually more restless in excitement.

Elias: youre adorable

Elias: hey are u in a relationship? i cant imagine not

Jules was still shifting around a little when he rolled his eyes, plucking a string out of the pillow. He looked up at the other message sound, blushing again. "Damn, you like making me blush. No, I'm not. Haven't been in many, either, if you're gonna ask that next."

Mason pursed his lips, silencing an excited yell. He fist-pumped quietly.

Elias: you're really cute when you blush

Elias: and you're

Elias: into guys?

Jules blushed more, rolling his eyes again. He was silent for a second as he struggled to force the words out. "Yeah. I'm bi, if that helps." He focused his gaze on the pillow again, smiling a little. Elias definitely was interested. "You're more flirty than usual right now."

Elias: can't help it looking at you

Elias: i just think you're really cool

Elias: hot, too

Elias: gotta include both ends of the temperature spectrum

Jules snorted. "I think you're really cool yourself. And probably hot as hell. Can't see your face though, so I'm relying on the idea that you're not some sixty year old mouth breather flirting with me through the internet, like my parents warned me about. And if you are, you're rich, so be my sugar daddy, please and thank you."

Elias: it means shit, i know, but i swear im not 60. ur right, im definitely hot. and young. v muscular. probably the guy of ur dreams. and i would happily be your sugar daddy, baby

Jules blushed, unable to hide his grin. He blew a kiss at the camera, laughing. Being called baby had definitely felt... weird. Maybe it was the nerves. "Thanks, daddy," he teased, blushing harder when he said it. God, his face was going to be the color of an apple soon.

Mason's eyes widened at that, and he cursed himself for actually not minding being called daddy. But, hey, if it works, it works.

Elias: oh, you're into that? ;)

Elias: record for blushing goes to Jules!

Jules huffed. "Asshole. Shut up." He wanted to hide his face in the pillow, but that would get glitter everywhere. "Fuck. I should go soon."

Elias: pretty sure you like when im an asshole

Mason frowned as their alarms rang at that moment. Andrew whined loudly as he dropped himself to the floor from the top bunk. He snorted. Nice timing, Jules.

Elias: :(

Elias: you should i guess :(

Elias: its gonna be good!!

Jules sighed. As much as he loved and adored Nosam... He didn't want to go. He wanted to keep talking to Elias. "I'll message from my phone when I get there, though! And I'll take lots of pictures and videos for the site. My sister is coming with me, too, I'm so excited." He grinned, his excitement returning. "I'll talk to you later, Elías! Have a good day!"

Elias: you better

Elias: i might not answer for a bit tho ill be p busy today

Elias: talk to you later! have a good day, jules x

Mason sighed as he left Jules' room, but grinned as he thought about seeing her in the crowd. It was gonna be awesome.

⧫

Hours later, the place was packed and Mason urged the guys along, getting hyped by all the noise. "Guys, c'mon! Let's say hi to some people."

Once they reached the lines, Mason grinned, touching hands and greeting people from the other side of the cord.

"Dude! You look hardcore!" he gasped as he saw a guy with glitter, lipstick, fishnets, and a ripped Nosam tank. A fucking killer concert outfit. God, he loved fans. The guy's eyes widened, and he grinned wide as Mason gave his hand a squeeze. He scanned the crowds, looking for Jules. She had to be there somewhere.

Andrew came up behind him, muttering in his ear. "You're fucking whipped before even meeting her."

Mason smacked his back and flipped Andrew's hood up over his face to annoy him. Andrew flipped him off as he pushed it back down.

Jules stood in line with Rosaline, bouncing a little as he messaged Elías.

familyjules: in line! we're way at the front but some assholes camped overnight and froze their asses off so they deserve being here first

"Oh my God, oh my God, Jules— Jullian! Look up, holy shit, they're right there," Rosaline said, yanking at Jules' arm. He looked up, gasping a little and bouncing even more.

"Holy fuck, that's them, in person, holy fuck— Fuck, look at Austin, he's so hot- And Chris looks so good—" Jules breathed, grinning.

Andrew blinked, impressed as he noticed a girl wearing a dress that... was made of Nosam shirts? Shit. And next to her was— Andrew stopped, almost barreling into a fan, who did not seem to mind very much. According to the few pictures of Jules that Mason had shown him, the person next to that girl was either Jules or a convincing look-alike. Andrew looked to Mason, who was scanning in the opposite direction, and rolled his eyes. He elbowed Mason, "Dude, check out that dress."

Mason whipped his head in the direction Andrew was pointing, and his jaw dropped. It was a cool dress— very cool— but holy shit, it was Jules. Fuck. He started to move behind Andrew until he remembered Jules didn't know it was him. Right. Duh. His heart beat unnaturally loud in his ears as he stepped towards them. What if he was wrong and he wanted it to be Jules so badly that he'd convinced himself that's who he was looking at? Maybe Jules didn't even exist. No person could look that good.

They were coming their way. "Holy fuck and they're looking right at us aren't they? It's the glitter and your Nosam dress, you funky little designer!" Jules breathed it all, grinning wide and shaking Rosaline's shoulders.

Mason pulled Andrew along with him and puffed out a breath as he walked towards them, smiling, looking to the girl beside Jules, eyeing her dress in awe. "Hey, guys! You both look amazing. I think this is the most impressive gig outfit I've ever seen. How long did it take you to make that?"

Rosaline grinned, shrugging off her jacket so they could see it all. "Around twelve hours. It was hard as hell to put all of it together and cut the shirts. Totally worth it, though!"

Jules grinned, taking her hand and twirling her. "And the bottom is rainbow and glitter cause she's definitely not gay but an ally and as campy as a drag queen." Jules laughed a little, meeting Mason's eyes, then Andrew's. Mason's breath caught.

"Shut up, Jules," Rosaline said, shoving Jules jokingly. He lifted his hands by his shoulders.

Mason smiled happily as the smallest sliver of doubt dissipated when she said Jules. "I'm impressed. Really impressed. Right, Drew?"

Andrew had been distracted by another fan he was taking a picture with, but he turned, glancing at Jules and Rosaline a little awkwardly and nodding, smiling a bit.

Mason laughed at her words and at her sister shoving her. He took a couple of meet-and-greet passes from his pocket and offered them, grinning. "That dress is the best thing I've seen all tour, so I hope I'll see you at the meet and greet."

Jules's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck, no way!" He laughed, looking up at Mason in shock. "You're kidding me, right? Meet and greets?" He grinned, taking one when Rosaline took the other, too shocked to speak.

"Yes way!" Mason grinned wide at them.

"Holy fuck, you funky little designer!" Jules said, latching onto Rosaline and lifting her the way he always did to annoy her. "I knew that dress was good luck. You didn't fuckin' nick your finger once while making it."

He turned back to Mason after putting her down when she threatened to punch him, grinning still. "Thank you. Holy fuck, thank you. Y— We'll definitely be there. It's not like we have anything better to do than meet you guys."

Mason's cheeks hurt from smiling as Jules laughed and lifted the girl. "Don't sweat it. Completely understandable if you find something better to do. Although, I don't know what people in Michigan do. Skate on Lake Mich? Hockey?" he teased. "Just give them to someone else so they don't go to waste. Although I'll be bummed if I don't see you there," he said, meeting Jules' eyes for a second.

Jules froze a little at the hockey comment, blinking and forcing himself to breathe. He suddenly felt a lot colder than he was. Tugging his jacket tighter around him, he forced a smile and nodded. "Don't worry. We'll be there." He felt himself shaking a little and found it kind of hard to breathe. His hand found Rosaline's after a second.

"We'll definitely be there," Rosaline said, grinning at Mason. She squeezed Jules's hand, knowing exactly what was going on. It had happened before. She took the pass from Jules and stuffed it in her bag with her own, one hand still in Jules'.

Mason's smile disappeared for a moment at Jules' reaction. Oh, fuck. Did he say something wrong? He grinned again, turning to Jules' sister. "So, I hope you don't mind, but I just need a picture with you...?" he trailed off, hoping for a name.

"Rosaline," she said, grinning.

"Beautiful name," Mason smiled. Jules' twin sister seemed extremely cool.

"I—" Rosaline looked back at Jules, who nodded and let go of her hand. "Okay. Jules, do you wanna take it?"

Jules looked for a second, then nodded, taking out his phone. He still had the convo with Elías open. That gave him an idea. "Uh— this is kind of a weird question, but could you message my friend too after the picture? He'll lose his shit if he knows I met you." He grinned again at the thought of Elías's reaction.

Mason watched Jules fiddle around with the camera. He was maybe freaking out a little. He definitely said something wrong. Was it the flirting? Or did he offend her with the hockey jab?

His eyebrows rose in surprise as Jules mentioned her friend, and he nodded enthusiastically. "Of course."

Jules lifted his phone after opening the camera, taking a picture of Mason and Rosaline together. "Oh— oh, do you need it on your phone? Is it for security or something?"

"Uh, yeah," Mason took out his phone. "Actually, you should get in this too," he motioned for both of them to take a selfie with him and made a silly face, and then took another one with a smile.

Jules blushed a little at the way Mason looked at him. He stood behind Rosaline, crossing his eyes and opening his mouth, then simply grinning.

He handed his phone over to Mason afterward, then explained a little bit where the text was and everything. "Oh, his name is Elías. Accent on the 'I'. Please, for the love of all things holy, mention the username and embarrass the shit out of him. He deserves it for that."

"Gotcha," Mason took the phone carefully, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous this situation was. God, how was this gonna end? He pushed the thought aside and managed to laugh at the username.

familyjules: hey Elías! its nosam's Mason! i met your friend Jules today, im flattered you wanna fuck me, maybe we can meet up sometime? ;) x

He smiled in amusement as he showed Jules the message. "How's that?"

Jules took back the phone and grinned. "Perfect." He looked up and met Mason's eyes again. His smile was better, just still a bit forced. "Thank you. You're awesome."

"Anytime, Jules," he gave her a silly, lopsided grin eyes bright. "It was awesome to meet you guys."

He saw Austin walking by and waved him over, hopping a little. "Hey, Austin, check out this rad dress and these rad people."

Austin smiled over at them, although he was surrounded by people. "Very rad dress! Thanks for coming, guys," he gave them a thumbs up.

Jules froze again when Austin came over, for a completely different reason. He grinned, unable to speak.

Rosaline snapped in front of his face. "I— God, sorry. Jules is a mess right now." She elbowed him, but he was just staring at Austin. "Thank you for coming all the way up here. It's the only reason we could come. We tried to go to Detroit once, but our parents wouldn't let us go that far alone in just one day and night." She grinned at Austin.

"Y— You're Austin," Jules breathed.

"No problem," Austin smiled, "That's me. Jules, yeah? Would it be okay if I hugged you?" he glanced at Mason for a split second. Mason glared at him for the same amount of time. Asshole.

Austin's smile grew.

Jules nodded enthusiastically, holding up his arms and hugging Austin tight. Holy fuck, he was hugging Austin Salinas. And Mason Hill was right there. And he'd meet Chris later, and Andrew had smiled at him. This was the best day of his life. He closed his eyes and buried his face against Austin's shoulder, then realized that was weird and he was hugging too long and pulled away.

Austin grinned, laughing and hugging Jules just as tight for a second longer. "You're a good hugger."

Jules laughed. "So are you," he said after they pulled away.

That was an unnecessarily long hug.

Mason pouted, glancing at Rosaline. "Now I want a hug. Rosaline?" he grinned, holding out his arms.

Rosaline hugged him, grinning. She hugged him just a bit too long too, wishing she could have hugged Andrew but beyond happy to hug Mason.

Jules paused for a second, then hugged Mason, face against his chest. "Thank you."

Mason was surprised at the hug, frozen in place for a second before taking a deep breath and relaxing into it. He wrapped his arms around Jules and smiled contentedly. This is what a hug is, fuck every other one I've ever had.

Jules was a little too relaxed into the hug. It felt right for some reason. While Austin's hug was awesome, Mason's was warm and soft and felt incredible. Jules didn't want to let go.

Mason hugged Jules as long as he could without it being weird, and then let her go. "Alright, we should go set up. See you guys later!" he smiled. Austin said goodbye, giving Mason a mocking look, sighing wistfully at him.

"Shut up, Austin," Mason shoved at him, hands on his shoulders as they walked away.

"I didn't speak, Mason," Austin grinned, "She's really cute. I get why you've been annoying the shit out of us this whole time."

"Don't you have a girlfriend already, Sally?"

Jules smiled at them as they left, waving, then turned to Rosaline, tears in his eyes. "We just— Holy fuck, we just met Nosam and got meet and greet passes, Rosa."

Mason loved performing. He'd happily do it for the rest of his life, and that was the plan. He was addicted to the roar of the crowd, to the sound of thousands of people singing along with him, to their songs. It was always surreal, always like being in another world. It was a high. But this concert, he had been especially happy that he could see Jules at the front of the crowd the whole time, just as excited as everyone else was. Jules' proximity was especially wonderful after T-Shirt Song, because fuck, was Jules even hotter without a shirt. Who needed shirts? Nobody. That's what T-Shirt Song was all about (not really, but roll with it).

After the concert, Jules had a newfound love for Mason Hill. He'd loved him before, but not like this. On stage, he was hilarious and bounced around and was so theatrical... it was exactly how Jules wanted to be on stage. He demanded a presence, and made sure he got what he wanted. There was no doubt in anything he did, even if he did make a fool of himself at times and absolutely roasted himself. It was astounding. Mason had delivered everything Jules had hoped for and then some.

At Mason's insistence that everyone in the crowd had to, Jules had stripped off his shirt during T-Shirt Song, then threw it on stage after. Mason had made eye contact with him... a lot, actually, after that, especially during flirty songs. It was like he wanted to fuck or something, and Jules had informed Elías of this. But Elías wasn't replying, which made sense, since he'd said he'd be busy, but it made Jules a little sad.

They were in the back of the line for the meet-and-greet, sadly, but would definitely get to see them because of the passes. Jules wiped some glitter off his forehead while they waited, closer to the front now that the event was almost over, humming to himself. He was sweating after all the moving around, so he was just wearing a bra and his open flannel, bouncing on the balls of his feet next to an exhausted Rosaline. His throat hurt, and it was the best experience of his life. Rosa's throat hurt, and it was the worst experience of her life.

"Wimp," he teased, grinning at her. He coughed a little. "Oh. We're up."

When they were reaching the end of the meet & greet line, Mason grinned as he saw Jules and Rosaline. All of Nosam was shirtless, even Chris, who was rocking scars from his top surgery, still looking fairly pink after over a year. It was incredible how it had gone from cold as hell to hot as shit with all the moving around.

"Hey, Jules! Rosaline!" Mason shouted, waving them forward when the twins had gotten to the front of the meet & greet line.

"Good to see you guys again," Austin smiled at them as he ran his hand through sweaty, wavy hair and pushed his glasses up.

Andrew shot them an awkward smile through the Twizzler in his mouth. His hair was sticking to his forehead as he saluted the pair.

"How're you guys doing? You weren't kidding, that dress is wonderful," Chris stared at the dress, leaning against the table to get a closer look at the detail.

Jules grinned, dragging a tired and stunned Rosaline with him. He still had some post-concert adrenaline rushing through his veins.

"That was the best concert of my life," Jules said. "You guys are fucking awesome up there. Better than the videos I've seen online."

"Glad we made such a lasting impression," Mason teased, smirking at Jules.

"The best concert of my life was probably All Time Low," Austin muttered absentmindedly, yawning. Andrew snorted as he stuck a Twizzler in his open mouth. Austin choked on it, yanking it out of his mouth and tossing it back at him. Andrew laughed, catching it and putting it in his mouth.

Rosaline coughed before she spoke. "Thank you about the dress. And for the passes. This is amazing."

"Thank you!" Chris grinned big, "It was a long time coming. Was definitely a weight off my chest." He winked and finger-gunned them. "You're the amazing ones."

Jules laughed softly, then took a deep breath and looked at Chris. "I— Uh— Can I get a picture? Please?"

"Hell yeah," Chris got up and put an arm around Jules' shoulder for the picture, smiling.

Rosa did the same with Andrew, a little nervous. "Can—" She stopped for a second, taking a deep breath, then smiled sheepishly. "Can I get a picture with you, Andrew?"

"Yeah," Andrew replied, almost inaudible. He immediately got up, taking a picture with her and hugging her.

Rosaline hugged Andrew back happily, on the verge of tears. This was the best day of her life. He spoke to her. He actually spoke to her.

After they got their pictures, Jules grinned at Mason. "And can I get another picture with you? I don't have one on my phone of us, and no one will ever believe me if I don't get one." He handed his phone off to Rosaline, who took it gladly. "Also— Uh— Could you kiss my cheek? I've seen a lot of those online—"

Mason grinned happily as he took the pic with Jules, hand on her back. He smiled, laughing warmly when she asked for a cheek kiss. He kissed her cheek, pausing a moment with his lips on her face for the picture. He hugged her again afterwards, almost picking her up off the ground.

Jules grinned, hugging him back. He squeezed tight, then thanked Mason and took a picture with Austin.

After a few more minutes of awkward conversation about the concert and Rosaline's dress, it was announced that the meet & greet was over and they had to go. Jules pouted a little, but said bye, waving. He turned around only after a few backward steps, trying to come to terms with the fact that he'd just met Nosam twice in one day.

Mason watched Jules walk away, biting his lip and slowly leaning back in his chair, sighing in abject sadness. He was sad, and he was staring at Jules' ass, and he was thinking that it was completely unfair that even though, yes, he finally got to meet Jules, it was for such a short amount of time, and she didn't even know who he was. And, yeah, maybe he had also been staring at her ass the whole time she was walking away.

Austin thumped him on the head. "I can practically hear your thoughts right now and they're gross, Mason."

Mason only smirked.

When Mason had finally showered and eaten, he fell onto his bed. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Jules. Which wasn't exactly new, honestly, but now it was like, multiplied times a thousand. He eagerly took out his phone.

masonfucker1000: holy shit !!! holy shit

masonfucker1000: i got a message from mason hill. you met him!

There was a knot forming in his stomach as he sent the message. The concert had affected this whole situation way too much. Mason had been stuck. It was a catch-22. He had to see Jules, but now that he'd met her everything was suddenly real, and horrifying and he was even more aware of how he was sort of catfishing, but like, next-level celebrity catfishing (that should totally be a show). And if he hadn't met her, he'd still be suffering dramatically and daydreaming about it, but at least it would have been simpler and he would have been ignorant.

Jules had passed out as soon as he got home, but woke up to messages from Elías. He grinned, rolling over in bed and rubbing at his eyes.

familyjules: FUCK YES I DID hold on i'll post the pics in the concert thread

familyjules: GUYS MY SISTER AND I WON THE M&G PASSES AND I HUGGED AUSTIN TWICE AND MASON TWICE AND GOT A SHIT TON OF PICTURES LOOK

Seven Photo Attachments

masonfucker1000: YOU GOT A CHEEK KISS? that is one hot man. and by that i mean mason. mason is one hot man. tell me the truth. who was the better hugger?

familyjules: okay look you know i love austin but mason's hug was so warm and soft i loved it. i made him hug me to compare for you and i preferred his (but don't tell austin i'm betraying him)

Mason kicked his legs, hollering. "In your face, Austin! I'm the better hugger!"

Austin rolled his eyes. "Jules is biased and doesn't even know it."

masonfucker1000: fuck yeah!!!! mason is the superior hugger! dude did u say earlier that he looked like he wanted to fuck

Mason could not fucking believe he had no self-control. She noticed that he was staring like a fucking idiot.

familyjules: yes i did he kept staring at me and he was singing all the flirty songs and looking directly at me and even kissed my hand once during one of them. i was shook. he's a flirt i knew that but it felt different. like he was trying to woo me

masonfucker1000: uhhhhh lucky bastard!!!!! you got a hand kiss and a cheek kiss! 2 hugs! lemme know when u guys fuck!!

Mason yawned, grinning as he posted the pictures with Jules and Rosaline on his Instagram. He cropped the one with him and Jules sticking out their tongues and made it his background, blushing as he stared at it.

Jules laughed again, yawning. He really wanted some more sleep.

familyjules: shut up that's not gonna happen and even if it did it would require us meeting again. i did find a new love for mason hill tonight, tho i'm not gonna nut for him all over the internet like you!

familyjules: i'm gonna get some more sleep, btw. my legs feel like they're jello

masonfucker1000: lies!!! youre definitely gonna nut for him!

masonfucker1000: aw, get some more sleep, darling jules! x

Jules smiled at the message, even though there was something a little weird about it.

familyjules: have a good day, darling elías 💙

Mason wanted to be happy about the message and the heart, but she'd called him Elias. He sighed, putting his phone aside and shutting his eyes in an attempt to sleep and not think about it, even though he suspected it wouldn't work.

[firebuug]

Info Dump (tm) about skuggy because i need to write them down somewhere to keep him ic and also i want to talk about my shitty trash son bye

this is very long so its under a cut to save the mobile users !!! if ur on mobile and want to read about my Boy then go onto ur mobile browser onto my blog bls read about my son

jk its ur choice

- he has trouble feeling empathy so when someone that actually matters to him like his brother is like crying sad he’ll try to comfort them but he just,,,,,, cant put himself in their shoes and see whats wrong so he just... “uh dont be sad it isnt that bad” but he’s trying his best

- unless he doesn’t care about that person then he really isn’t trying at all and says shit like “shut up thats annoying”

- he never really feels regret and is very bad at feeling remorse. like he can literally kill someone he knew (not attached to tho) and be like “damn that sucks i guess”. he could literally kill buggy (himself basically) and be like “oh. looks like hes dead now lmfao”

- one of his worst fears is feeling regret so when he does he has no idea what to do or how to handle it so he just kind of. break down. badly. he also dislikes feeling fear because it makes him feel weak and helpless

- another one of his worst fears is jailors. sure he’s emotionless and seems like a dead inside guy most of the time (bc he is) but when he’s jailed the Anxiety Kills Him and he Astral Projects Out Of Existence

- i know i had a backstory related reason on why he feared jailors but i forgot. my best guess is that he was about to be executed once but out of pure fear he attacked the jailor and fled ? ill fix his backstory up someday lmfao

- he has a huge soft spot for anteaters/aardvarks and moths. he doesn’t really know why, but he just likes them. (its like my no-reason special interest of birds and penguins) once he saw buggy’s aardvark plushie he grabbed it and did not let go ever it made him feel safe and warm , which is r are,

- if u couldnt tell by now he’s like mega fucked up but he’s still my son whom i love 

- he HATES sudden physical contact, if youre going to hug him you have to give him a heads up by spreading out ur arms beforehand and he’ll only hug u if ur his close friend. if u try to hold his hand outta nowhere he’ll twist your arm off. if he’s like pulled into a really tight hug out of nowhere he will panic and start kicking and punching hard please do not do that he’s Afraid!!! if u hug him though and he trusts you he’ll melt into the hug. he’ll probably cry bc he never gets hugged at all someone please give him a h

- i have a reason for that too it’s mostly because skuggy's plan for town was to not make friends or allies and just do this by himself (like buggy at first). like buggy, he ended up making an ally, but instead of it going smoothly and helping him open up to people the ally betrayed him and basically tried to kill him. even though they were the only person (other than arthur) that skuggy really bothered to form a really good bond with. like, they were best fuckin friends when they decided to betray him

- now he has trust issues and wont let you hug him

- he’s always been nihilistic and grumpy it just got worse after The Ally Incident and now he’s an asshole who wishes for the sweet release of death (or a long break)

- he actually IS a butcher it isn’t just a false role claim. he loves his job because it helps him relieve the extra stabby desires he may have also he gets to make yummy things and give him at least 1 thing to be proud about. if you want a good chance of seeing skuggy smile just see him doin his job

- his role claim is literally just. butcher. but if he’s like serious and trying to not die he claims doctor b/c of invest results, although he’s very bad at it and literally knows nothing about anything medical. 

- the town he lives in (not canon ask blog salem, his own lil roleswap land) is super super bad and basically is what keeps him grounded in this cloud of nihilism/Crippling Depression ? his mayor is dead so the townies have to try to manage everything but of course it dove into chaos but eventually it all died out and everyone is just burnt out and lazy

- the jailor is constantly drunk and nobody does their job anymore except the constantly screaming doctor and maybe some other townies. if someone dies there really isnt a panic anymore and the town looks dirty and run down. carcass smell is constant and passed off as normal

- skuggy fuckin loves vodka he will chug an entire bottle (and cry afterwards)

- sleep? nah. skuggy barely gets any thats one reason why hes very tired and grumpy probably

- my boy skug isnt all Crippling Depression tho like around people he really trusts and likes he’ll occasionally get excited about things he likes!!! he shares his brother’s interest in lizards and if he finds one he S C R E AM S and catches it and shows it to arthur so they can call it their baby, their son, their baby boy (and release it afterwards)

- he doesnt know how to respond to getting treated with genuine love and care if it isnt from his brother

- he was literally about to burst into tears when yuan gave him that sweater even though it was just because he was covered in blood and yuan didnt want him to risk going out like that. he wears the sweater whenever he can now and it is a source of joy

- he tried to hide strong emotions in front of others that dont know him super super well so he can keep up his Tough Guy Persona but after this infodump u know its just a Lie, Binch.

ok thats all i have for this post!!!! i am still 100% open to answering more questions about him even if theyre minor like “what candle does he like” i will answer i just,,,love talking about my ocs

but yes. if u read through the whole thing ? holy shit u deserve a Cool bird gif for ur pain??