#go bid on marvellous humans who have more talent than I do
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5 Times Bucky's "kindergarten teacher" Side Made an Appearance
buckyismybicycle, Call_Me_Kayyyyy (Cheeky9274)
Summary:
"Let me get this straight,â Sam says with a skeptical look. âHydra made the Winter Soldier an underground kindergarten teacher?â
Or, how Bucky is terrifying even when living out nursery rhymes. Come to read this super not serious fic, stay for the amazing art from Kay.
Notes: let the record show that this is Kay's fault.
âïžâïžâïž
*BOTH* these amazing people are offering items in this years Marvel Trumps Hate auction!
For @buckyismybicycle bid here!
For @callmekayyyyy ( @call-me-kayyyyy ) bid here and here!
#stucky#fsbc#fsbc library#bucky barnes#steve rogers#fanfiction#stevebucky#fanfic#library#marvel trumps hate#mth#mth 2022#i forgot to add tags the first time#cos iâm an idiot#go bid on marvellous humans who have more talent than I do
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Throwback Thursday
Dust off those browsers, friends. Weâre gonna travel back in time to the stories that brought us into the fandom or the ones that have stuck with you through the years.
Share your super old faves and reblog them, showing the authors their classics are not forgotten. Leave them a love note showing them how much it means to you.
Then reblog the first story you wrote for your current fandom or even the first one you wrote for each fandom you belong to. The world is our oyster. Letâs rediscover some pearls.
I'm not going to lie. This Ask made me a little bit sad. There have been some really great writers on this site that have left us for unspecified reasons, and some for the childish bullying that seems to be a daily thing.
One of my favorite blogs was @chocolatecherubs. They were a blog that was written specifically for black female characters in the Marvel Universe, with Steve and Bucky as the central love interests, particularly during the 1940s.
However, all is not lost! There are still plenty of blogs that I follow and love and can always count on to provide the most entertainment you can achieve without picking up an actual book. One of the blogs who always delivers on this front regardless of the subject matter is the beautiful and talented @avintagekiss24 . I've been following her for a year and it has been a nonstop rollercoaster of fun, excitement, surprise, and even a little bit of heartbreak.
@avintagekiss24 has so many stories that I reread over and over again, it's nearly impossible to pick just one. But...if I did have to choose a classic in a split-second decision it would be Night Shift. This was my first time ever reading a story about Andy Barber and since then I have not stopped!
As for my own forays into fanfiction, I've written for Twilight, Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cruel Intentions, a few WIPs for We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Knives Out, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and that's not counting all of the stories knocking around in my head vying for attention!
Here is a VERY old Buffy the Vampire Slayer story I wrote.
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Buffy/Angelus
Setting: 1700s, New Colonies
A/N: This story is a little different from the others Iâve written. This story is set in the days of Angelusâ life when Drusilla had just turned Spike. Bear with me if everything is not exactly up to par historically â I am not a history buff! NSFW 18+ Warnings for offensive language, subject matter, violence, blood, gore, and sexual abuse.
His features could not be termed uninterestingâthere lay in them something bold and daringâbut the expression on the whole anything but benevolent. There were contempt and sarcasm in the cold dark eyes, whose glance, however, was at times so piercing that no one could endure it long.
from The Mysterious Stranger (1860) â Anonymous
What is obsession? Is it the madness that consumes a man when heâs confronted with the one thing he knows he is not supposed to have? Is it the burning desire to possess the aforementioned object, ensuring that she will only think of him as he only thinks of her? Angelus paced back and forth in his chosen room of the mansion. Darla was still off reconnecting with Dracula and giving Angelus some much-needed breathing room. While she was off having her own adventures, he moved his childe and grandchilde to the American Colonies. They were in the colony named New York. Angelus loved the New Colonies. The women were not as sexually repressed, and the humans as a whole were more trusting. Since their arrival, government officials, writers, artists, scholars â everyone who held wealth and power had invited Angelus, his âsisterâ Drusilla and her husband William, to parties. There was nothing Angelus enjoyed more than drunk socialites.
And it was at one of these parties that he saw her. The object of his obsession. Elizabeth Anne Summers. Buffy, to those who knew her intimately. She had long, golden blonde hair, not unlike Darlaâs, but hers had more of a silky texture. Her eyes were large and hazel, brimming with innocence. She had sun-kissed skin that seemed to glow underneath the moonlight.
Angelus wanted her. He wanted to bury his fangs and his cock inside her. Her scent proved that she was untried, but that would only last so long. Angelus found out everything he could about her. She was promised to the governorâs son. She lived with her parents Hank and Joyce Summers. She had a baby sister â Dawn â who caught pneumonia and died at the age of six. Her father worked as a developer for the colony and his wife owned a prominent boutique. She had two best friends, Willow Osbourne nĂ©e Rosenberg and Alexander Harris, husband to the beautiful and licentious Cordelia Harris nĂ©e Chase.
The first time Angelus spoke to her was at a party that was thrown by an oil barren. Angelus, as usual, found himself surrounded by three potential meals. Drusilla stood by Williamâs side, smiling proudly as he recited poetry. It was terrible, but the women thought it was the most beautiful thing they had ever heard.
âDo you hunt, Mr. McConroy?â one of the women â Mrs. OâHara or something or another â said, pulling him from his thoughts.
Angelus flashed an enticing smile. âWhy yes, Mrs. OâHara. âTis one of my many pleasures.â
She wet her lips and fluttered her eyes in what he was sure was meant to be attractive. âWell, in that case, you should come to my husbandâs estate in the country. You two can hunt and later you could tell me more about your pleasures.â
âHow can a man of sound mind resist such an enticing offer?â he said, kissing the back of her hand.
The woman continued to place unnecessary hints concerning secret rendezvous and Angelus almost lost control and snapped her neck on the spot until one of the younger women spoke up.
âThereâs that Elizabeth Summers.â
Angelusâ attention immediately shifted, seeking out his dark obsession. She came in with her parents. Her large hazel eyes seemed sad, and Angelus suddenly wanted to seek out that which had caused her misery and destroy it. He wanted to be the sole source of any pain she felt. But he could not gaze upon his obsession in peace as one of the three women continued her verbal assault.
âHow a strange girl like that was lucky enough to have a contract with Governor Finnâs son is baffling.â
âShe is a strange one, Harmony,â Cordelia Harris vehemently agreed. âMy husband says that she spends all of her time reading. Reading! Have you ever heard of such a thing?â
âWell, I hear that she wishes to become a writer! As if any respectable man would want anything written by a woman! A proper lady should spend her time learning to attend a household and concern herself with pleasing her husband.â
âYes, well, we all know that Buffy,â she sneered the name. âIs as far from a lady as one can be. It baffles me why Alexander enjoys her company so. Itâs embarrassing!â she glared as said husband made his way over to Buffy.
âI see nothing wrong with a properly educated woman, Mrs. Harris,â Angelus said, drawing their attention away from Buffy. âIt would be refreshing to hear a woman contribute something to the conversation beyond how pretty the dresses are overseas.â
Cordelia Harrisâ expression darkened so that if Angelus had been human, he might have been afraid. âWell,â she sniffed, highly offended. âIt is upon the hour, and I believe I shall take my leave.â She stood and scowled at Angelus when he broke societal conventions and refused to stand when she did. âI bid you goodnight, Mrs. OâHara, Harmony, Mr. McConroy.â
âMrs. Harris,â his flourishing bow was meant and taken in all its mockery. He smirked as she huffed and stomped away. He watched her approach Buffy and Alexander, and used his enhanced hearing to listen in.
ââŠhusband and I must be going,â she said in a clipped tone.
Buffy knew that her friendâs wife didnât like her, but for Xanderâs sake, she at least made an effort. âI am sorry that you must be leaving so soon. I hope you will feel well, Cordy.â
âOh, Elizabeth, how many times must I remind you to call me Mrs. Harris?â she said tightly.
âOf course. I apologize.â
âAlexander.â
The dark-haired young man looked between his wife and his friend, wishing he could stay, but knowing he would never hear the last of it if he did. âOf course, dear. See you soon, Buffy.â
Her other friend, Willow, who had watched the scene from across the room, performed her usual damage control ritual. âYou know I think one of these days he shall divorce her.â
âWillow!â she whispered, linking their arms. âYou should not say such things.â
âWell, he should! Iâm fairly certain the only reason he puts up with her is for the sex and we both know the pregnancy scare was the incentive for the marriage to start withâŠâ
Angelus watched the two young women disappear out onto the gardens. âLadies, if you will excuse me.â He left the woman at the table and sought out William. He didnât have the same mental link with him as he did with Drusilla, but William could feel when his grandsire called him.
âYou called?â he said, appearing moments later.
âYes, Iâm stepping out for a moment. Make sure no one sees Dru nibbling on the livestock.â
âAre you ever going to tell me whatâs so special about this bird? I mean, sheâs a cutie and all, but is she really worth our queen mother handing you your own arse?â
âWhat Darla doesnât know wonât kill me.â Angelus knew William had a point. Darla was extremely jealous and possessive of him, but he was still sore around the edges where she was concerned, considering that she left him to die in a burning barn. Darla was his sire and that was a bond not easily broken, but nothing could reestablish the trust he lost for her. He glanced at Drusilla to see if she was keeping out of trouble and caught her thralling Harmony. âIf you want the blonde as a party favor you should take her out of here. Sheâs as dumb as a post but has a pleasant peach scent to her.â
Angelus left his grandchilde to attend to Dru and followed Buffyâs scent through the large garden maze. She and her friend, Willow sat on a bench in front of a pond talking quietly.
ââŠsays?â
âYou mean when sheâs not nursing a bottle? She blames me. She says even whores arenât low enough to chase their own fathers,â she sniffled.
âOh, Buffy, have you thought about telling Riley?â
âNo, I canât tell him, Will. If he thought for a moment that itâs gone further than a drunken fumbling, heâll never speak to me again.â
âAnd right now, heâs your only way out,â Willow sighed in sympathy to her friendâs plight. âYou know Oz and I will let you move in with us.â
âPeople will talk.â
âTheyâre already talking. One of New Yorkâs most beloved sons married to a kike?â
âWillow!â Buffy admonished. âDonât ever call yourself that.â
The redhead shrugged carelessly. âI have been called much worse. I am just telling you that Oz and I do not care what anyone else says about us.â
âI appreciate it. And if the wedding was happening later than next month I would say yes.â
âBut what if he goes too far before Riley can save you?â
The unanswered question hung heavy in the air. Angelus seethed. He barely restrained himself from going back inside, grabbing Hank Summers and tearing off his worthless cock with his bare hands. It didnât anger Angelus that the man was taking liberties with his daughter. It bothered him that his touch would not be the first she had known from a man.
âI should get back inside before Oz starts looking for me. Come with?â
âIn a little while. I just want a little more time away from the noise.â
âDonât take too long. Your parents,â she mumbled.
Angelus watched the Osbourne woman return to the party from his place in the shadows. He turned his attention back to Buffy realizing that they were finally alone. She leaned back, her hands flat on the bench and her face turned up towards the starlit sky. Her eyes were closed, and the subtle breeze disturbed the tendrils of silky tresses framing her face. Angelus had the perfect view of the golden skin of her smooth throat. His face shifted as he imagined sinking his fangs into her throat as her naked body writhed helplessly underneath his.
Buffyâs eyes suddenly snapped open. She stood and she looked around her as if sensing she was not alone. âIs someone there?â she called.
Angelus contained his excitement and returned to his human visage. âJust me,â he said, pretending as though he was simply out for a stroll through the gardenâs maze. âDidnât mean to frighten you.â
Buffy stared at the man before her. She was certain that she had never seen him around before. He was tall, very tall. He had long dark hair that was bound behind his head. He had a wide mustache and she wondered if it was as soft as his hair looked. He had dark eyes. Eyes that were mischievous and secretive. She started to believe she was dreaming. She always thought Riley was cute in a boyish way, but this man before her with the long brown hair, his piercing dark eyes and his enticing smirk wasâŠbeautiful. His smirk seemed to widen, and Buffy realized with startling clarity that she was rather rudely staring at him.
âNo, you did not frighten me, sir,â she recovered.
âYou are Elizabeth Summers, correct?â
âYes, but everyone calls me Buffy.â
He took her hand â it seemed tiny and engulfed by his â and pressed a small kiss to it. âItâs a pleasure to meet you, Buffy. I am Angelus McConroy.â
Recognition flashed in her large hazel eyes. âOf course, Mr. McConroy! You live in the Crawfordâs old mansion. Your brother-in-law, William, is it? He ordered a gown from my motherâs boutique for your sister.â
Angelus suppressed another smirk. He had sent William on that particular mission to scout out the boutique and Buffyâs work hours, and to spread the word to the local undead community that she, her family and friends, were off limits.
âYes, my family and I moved there a few months ago.â
Buffy fidgeted with her dress before resuming her place on the bench. âWould youâŠwould you care to sit?â she offered timidly.
He flashed a dazzling smile and took his place beside her. âNow what is a lovely girl such as yourself doing out here all alone? Itâs really not safe,â said the wolf to the rabbit.
Buffy glanced up at him and flushed as he stared down at her unblinkingly. âOh, well, I just stepped out for a moment. Just for some air,â she shrugged.
âYou donât truly enjoy parties, do you?â
âThey areâŠacceptable.â
âAh, but a lass such as yourself would much rather be at home in front of the fire with a book. You prefer the silence and solitude to the noise and excitement.â
She flushed an attractive pink and looked up at him from under her lashes. âI realize that those are not exactly the qualities one looks for in a woman, butâŠâ
âBut you are far from a woman, lass. Youâre still a wee child.â He watched appreciatively as her skin flushed a darker red.
âSir, I will have you know that I am of sixteen years and will soon be a wife,â she said, not really succeeding in sounding offended.
âYes, to Governor Finnâs lad no less. I find it difficult to see what it is the boy could have done to deserve the hand of such a fair lass.â
Her hazel eyes met his and she wore a smile befitting that of the most experienced of coquettes. âDo you tell all your ladies that, Mr. McConroy?â
âOnly the pretty ones,â he smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.
She started laughing and Angelus thought it was the most enticing sound he had ever heard. âYou are indeed a charmer, Mr. McConroy. If I may be so boldâŠ?â
âYou may.â
âWhy is there not a Mrs. McConroy? A gentleman such as yourself should have amassed quite the number of prospects from the fairer sex.â
Angelus, seeing his opportunity, angled his body towards hers. âPerhaps it is because a man can only have ale for so long before he starts to long for a fine wine.â
He could hear her heart pounding in fear and excitement as their seemingly innocent conversation began to take a different turn. âBut what if youâre not supposed to have the wine?â she breathed.
âThatâs when itâs the sweetest.â His hand cupped her cheek and her eyes fluttered from the contact. âLook at me, Buff,â he commanded. âLook into my eyes.â Angelus knew he could have waited rather than jumping at the first opportunity to thrall her, but he was anxious to have her in his bed.
âYou have pretty eyes.â
Angelus felt his eyebrows rise. You have pretty eyes? Angelus concentrated harder and Buffy flinched as he suddenly seemed to be scowling at her.
âWhat? Men can have pretty eyes,â she pouted slightly, thinking he was offended.
Angelus blinked. He surveyed her carefully, playing close attention not to let himself linger on her pouting pink lips. He didnât understand how it was possible for her to resist his thrall. No one had ever resisted! The girl was obviously human. She smelled human. She had a heartbeat. What had gone wrong? His eyebrows knitted together as he ran through any and all explanations as to why his gift had failed him. He felt her warm hand press against his own.
âAngelus? Is something wrong?â
He recovered, wearing his signature smirk. âYou think my eyes are pretty, do ye?â
Buffy fiddled with the sleeves of her dress looking anywhere but at him. âYes, they resemble little pools of chocolate.â She felt his fingers lace through hers and looked down. She liked the way their hands fit.
âNow which one of us is the charmer here, Buff?â he watched her shiver as his fingers idly stroked hers.
âThere you are!â
Buffy stood, withdrawing her hand from Angelus, completely missing his darkened expression. âRiley,â she said, her heart pounding heavily as though sheâd been caught doing something terribly wicked.
âI have been searching all over for you, Bethie.â
He took her hand in his own, missing her subtle wince at the nickname she loathed. âForgive me if I have caused distress. I only stepped out for a moment.â
âYour mother and father are looking for you. They â.â Riley stopped short when he saw movement behind Buffy. âHello,â he said to the man who sat on the bench watching them unabashedly. âI do not believe we have met. I am Riley Finn, Elizabethâs husband-to-be.â
âOh, yes, the governorâs boy,â Angelus said, taking in the blue-eyed baby-faced boy with mocking eyes.
Although the sarcasm went completely over the boyâs head as he puffed out his chest and stood a little taller, Angelus smirk only grew when Buffy gave him a warning glare.
âYes, yes, I am,â he said proudly.
âRiley, this is Mr. McConroy.â
Riley tensed slightly, something neither Angelus nor Buffy missed. âMcConroy. You purchased the old Crawford Mansion.â
âYes,â he confirmed, his eyes glinting slightly.
âWell, it was nice making your acquaintance, Mr. McConroy, but Elizabeth and I must be going.â
âOf course. Nice meeting you, Finn.â He turned his penetrating eyes to Buffy. He picked up her hand and gave her a lingering kiss that left her near breathless. âTâwas a pleasure makinâ your acquaintance, Buffy.â
âMr. McConroy,â she blushed.
Rileyâs jaw clenched as he led Buffy away. But his annoyance over what he saw as a threat to his future wife was nothing compared to Angelusâ fury over Finn impeding the progress he had made.
âI do not trust that McConroy fellow,â he confided when they were of a safe distance away from him. Or so he thought. âHe worries me.â
âRiley,â Buffy sighed. âMr. McConroy is a nice man.â
âYou know him well, then?â
âNo. We only made acquaintance tonight.â
âYet he already calls you Buffy.â
A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. âRiley Finn, I do believe you are jealous.â
âPerhaps I am,â he admitted. âDo you find him attractive?â
Buffy blushed and lowered her eyes. âHe isâŠagreeable. But it is you who will become my husband. Your name I will carry and your children I shall bear. Tell me once more why you are jealous?â
With a few well-executed words, Angelus could see Finnâs worries and inferiorities fade away. He leaned down and kissed her lips as carefully as if she were made of glass.
âBethie?â he whispered, still holding her close.
âYes?â
âIf I asked you to do something, as your future husband, would you do it?â
Buffy tensed. Her small hands fisted the sides of his shirt as her mind twisted and turned over in itself. As her future husband, he could ask almost anything of her, and she was duty bound to obey. She trembled against him and swallowed the bile suddenly flooding her mouth. âYes.â
âI wish for you to have no further contact with Mr. McConroy or any of his family.â
Buffy stepped back from him so that she could see into his eyes. âRiley, I have already told you that Mr. McConroy bears no threat to us.â
âBut he does,â he argued. âHave you noticed the strange occurrences in our town?â
âAre you referring to Madeleine Archer?â Maddie Archer was two years younger than Buffy and had gone missing from her bed in the dead of night.
âYes, as well as Rebekah Harte, Joshua Black, Edward Morton, Christine Adams, and countless others.â
âRiley, how do these unfortunate people pertain to you desiring distance between Mr. McConroy and myself?â
âThey all vanished or perished inexplicably after McConroy, and his family took residence in the Crawford Mansion.â
âYou are not suggestingâŠ?â she gasped.
âThere is something amiss about them. His sister is said to be touched in the mind, but there is more. She speaks in prophecies. Her husband, William, the poet, who may I say is not very good, he was seen with Rebekah Harte before she went missing. Then there is your new acquaintance. He never leaves the mansion during the day. He does not work and yet he attends every party and somehow amasses enough wealth to support his family. They have no servants or cooks. Their skin is unnaturally porcelain â must I go on?â
âAre you suggesting to me that Mr. McConroy, his sister and her husband may beâŠnefarious individuals?â
Riley smiled humorlessly. âWhy does it frighten you to speak the word, Bethie? You once told me that what most would believe to be a monster, you see as a beast maintaining his nature.â
âI was referring to the work of Bram Stoker, Riley. Beasts exist, yes, but not of that sort, and certainly not amongst Mr. McConroy and his family.â
âYou have always had faith in the most undeserving of creatures, Bethie.â He reached inside his trouser pocket and withdrew a silver cross on a chain.
âItâs beautiful.â
âI wish you to wear it whenever you leave the mansion.â
âEven in the sunlight?â she quipped.
âEven in the sunlight,â he answered, unaffected by her glibness. âAll of the victimsâ blood was drained through small punctures to the throat.â
Buffy paled as she gasped. âWhat? But you never said anything!â
âMy father thought it was best that the families were not informed of this. It would lead to panic and at this time, the authorities have declared it a beast. Wear it. For me.â
âOkay,â she whispered, still struggling with the concept of the creatures she learned of as a child could truly exist beyond the pages of a novel.
Riley secured the cross around Buffyâs neck and exhaled in relief. âNow I believe we should find your parents. They can hardly fault a man for enjoying the company of his love.â
The couple left the garden arm in arm, completely oblivious to the heavy stare on their backs.
Angelus was beside himself with fury when the Finnâs and the Summers left the Hardy Mansion. He had covered his tracks and the tracks of his childe and grandchilde carefully. Yet, the Finn boy seemed to have linked all of their victims back to them. Although he tried his best to come across as noble and caring in Buffyâs eyes, the boy was far more concerned with her affections rather than her safety. The thought in itself caused a malicious smirk to befall his angelic features. They would have to be careful. Meticulous. One mistake and all would be lost. Nevertheless, Angelus would have Buffy SummersâŠeven if he had to eviscerate every townsman to get her.
Angelus itched to relieve his fury and he knew just how to do it.
âMargaret, is it?â she was nothing. An aide in the Hardy household with the burden of a fatherless son. She was not remotely attractive, and her blood was not in the slightest appealing. But her polite smile and cautious eyes appeased him.
âYes, sir.â
âI regret to bother you as I can see you are terribly busy, but I am afraid I require your assistance.â
âIn what way, sir?â still so trusting.
âCome with me, please.â
Ah. There is the hesitation. âVery well, sir.â
He led her to a dark corner underneath the stairs hidden from the rest of the intoxicated socialites. âAh, thatâs better, isnât it? Not complete privacy, but it should do for what I have in mind,â he said, letting his eyes drift over her, hoping to discomfort her. She predictably squirmed under his gaze, unaware that her used and aged body held no appeal for him.
âSir, IâŠI should get back,â she stuttered, her heart pounding beautifully, forcing her blood to flow quicker through her arteries.
âWhy not stay a while? After all, you did say you would help a fellow with his problem,â he purred, moving even closer to the frightful maid.
*âSir, please, I should return to the party.â
*âMargaret, Margaret, thereâs no hurry.â
She tried to pull away from him, hoping that someone might see. *âMistress will be wonderingâŠâ
*âSshh,â he cooed. âMistress will be wondering how to get the good Reverend Chalmers into bed and will not notice the absence of canapĂ©.â He stroked her chin for good measure, and she shuddered in spite of her fear. âStay with me,â he urged.
Angelus could tell by her eyes that she was considering it. How could she not? A lowly maid, past her prime, receiving the attentions of the young and wealthy Mr. McConroy, a man that all women, be they married, betrothed, or divine worshippers, have attempted to lure into their beds.
*âSir, people might talk,â she weakly protested. âIâll be put out on the streets. My little boy wouldâŠI canât lose this job,â she said, forgoing any thoughts she might have had about taking a chance with the beautiful Angelus McConroy.
Angelus, sensing her resolve, lost his temper. He grabbed her arms. *âThen you must keep quiet.â
*âYouâre hurting me!â she said, speaking a little louder than she intended.
*âAh! Cry out. Call for help. Iâm sure Mistress will believe your behavior beyond reproach,â he sneered.
*âPlease!â she gasped, wriggling in his embrace.
Angelus shook her roughly. *âCome, make a scene, huh?â he taunted. âShall I?â
Margaret hesitated. *âNo,â she whispered.
*âNo, no. Weâll be as quiet as mice.â
Margaret lowered her head. Her shoulders sagged in defeat. If she closed her eyes and didnât put up a fight, maybe it would be over soon. No one would believe her if she said their familiarity was forced.
Angelus could almost taste her defeat. His face shifted and when she looked back up at him, her fear and terror flooded his senses. *âNo matter what.â
*âSir!â she trembled, tears welling in her eyes. âMy son!â
Good, he had almost forgotten. *âOh, heâll make a fine dessert, huh?â
He grabbed her, sinking his fangs into her throat before she could scream. He drained her quickly. She was unsatisfying and not at all fulfilling. He released her, letting her body fall carelessly to the floor. He tucked her away in the corner, knowing one of the other servants or perhaps her Mistress herself would find her. Angelus maneuvered around the intoxicated guests, following Margaretâs scent to the servantâs quarters. He found Margaretâs whelp sleeping in his bed. He was a boy of no more than seven years. His hair was curly like his mother's and a brighter shade of blonde. Margaretâs pallet lay positioned beside the boyâs bed. The boy clutched a worn brown bear that was missing its left eye. He was a beautiful child, clearly taking after his father. The boy opened his eyes and startling emerald green eyes met his own.
âAre you an angel?â he whispered.
His lips twitched as he fought the smirk that threatened to reveal itself. âAn angel?â
âMum says when itâs time an angel will come and take me to see my Da. Will you take me?â
He arranged the boyâs body in his bed and retrieved his mother, placing her on top of her pallet. From a distance, it would look as If they were merely sleeping. He returned to his mansion an hour before sunrise.
âDaddy, we saved her for you!â Drusilla called over the screams.
He strolled down to the âplayroomâ in the cellar. The room smelled of sex, blood, and fear. The young woman from the party, Harmony, was naked and railroad spikes had been driven through her hands and ankles, courtesy of William. Her legs and stomach were flayed, and Drusilla greedily lapped up her flowing blood.
William leaned against the wall, a pipe in his hand. âHow did it go with the bird?â
Before he could answer, Harmony turned towards Angelus. Her face had been clawed, most likely by Drusilla, and her right eye hung out of its socket and lay limply against her cheek. âMr. McConroy, help! Please help me!â she whimpered.
A cold smirk drifted on his lips as he played with her blood-soaked hair. âI could help you, Harmony, but you would have to do something for me first,â he taunted.
âAnything, anything.â
âOpen your mouth.â A single tear fell from her good eye. She opened her mouth without hesitation. Angelus released his semi-hard cock and shoved it into her mouth. She choked and gagged as his hand knotted in her hair. âShe resisted my thrall.â
William pushed off from his relaxed stance against the wall. âResisted? How the bloody hell did she do that?â
âGee, William, I have no idea. Iâll be sure to ask her next time,â he growled, shoving his entire length down Harmonyâs throat.
âSheâs not like the others,â Drusilla whispered. Her eyes were wide and unfocused. She was having a vision.
âWhat do you see, pet?â
Just as Harmonyâs heart stopped beating, Angelus felt his seed spurt into her mouth. He pulled out, using her hair to clean himself off, smiling lightly as his seed and her blood dripped from her mouth.
âShe was almost Called.â
âCalled?â
âAs inâŠ?â Angelus had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
âBut the PowersâŠshe was unworthyâŠinnocent blood on her handsâŠnow she is just a human.â
Angelus ran a hand through his hair, attempting to process what they had just learned. Buffy was meant to take the Calling. She was to be a Slayer, but she killed someone. The Powers deemed her unworthy and now she will never be a Slayer. But even though she didnât have the Call, she was still equipped with the typical Slayer attributes. A mental block to resist the thrall. Possibly strength to fight against any demonic creature.
âDarla is going to kill you,â William snickered.
âDarla is too busy fucking Dracula to care what I do!â
âSure, keep telling yourself that.â
Drusilla hunched over, moaning and hugging her stomach. Williamâs good mood faded quickly as he and Angelus flocked to her side protectively. âWhat do you see, Dru?â
âBad manâŠbad manâŠbad manâŠâ
âWhat bad man? What is he doing?â Angelus questioned her as she leaned against William.
âTouchingâŠbad touchâŠbad touchâŠwants to keep herâŠwants to hurt herâŠ!â she moaned.
Angelus growled deeply, startling his childe and grandchilde. âHank Summers is a dead man. William, at first dark, I need you to do something for me.â
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đ  :  how stable is my museâs mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy?Â
đ :  how would my muse describe their childhood? how much has it impacted the person they are now, or will become as an adult? around what age did they or will they start to mature, and why? do they wish to go back to their days as a child, or have they embraced adulthood? Â
đ :  is my muse inclined to help others, or will they only do it when it benefits them, if at all? what makes them this way? has it ever gotten them into trouble, or inconvenienced them?  Â
đ :  how is my muse typically seen by others? does it ring true to who they really are? does their reputation matter to them?Â
đ„ :  does my muse have any â unusual â habits,  interests, and / or talents? do they hide it, or are they proud of it? Â
đ :  what kind of diet does my muse have? do they eat regularly, or the standard 2-3 meals a day? do they have to be reminded to eat, or are they likely to remind others? do they cook, or have others cook for them? do they eat healthily, or not so much?Â
đ  :  how stable is my museâs mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy?
Harper is pretty neurotypical. She does have some childhood trauma relating to her father leaving and her relationship with her mother. Her mom was an active service member and this led to a lot of instability in her childhood.
See Harper's mom and her grandmother weren't on great speaking terms. Her mother never told her father about the pregnancy, and that caused a rift between them before Harper was even born. Her mother also struggled with alcoholism when Harper was younger and while Harper was never abused, her mom did make some very poor decisions and her grandmother wasn't always sympathetic, usually blaming her mom for her bad choices with money, and then getting even angrier when her mom wouldn't accept help even as they were on the verge of financial collapse. This lead to her grandmother calling DHR and some very messy fights that Harper heard.
Harper didn't walk away from her experiences with poverty and family drama unscathed. Her mom did eventually go to rehab, and her grandmother did eventually try to make amends with her before she passed.
This isn't even touching on Harper's attempt to reunite with her father and his rejection of her or her mother's rejection when she came out to her as a lesbian.
So Harper definitely needs therapy, but I don't have enough knowledge to put the name of a specific diagnosis on her other than childhood trauma.
đ :  how would my muse describe their childhood? how much has it impacted the person they are now, or will become as an adult? around what age did they or will they start to mature, and why? do they wish to go back to their days as a child, or have they embraced adulthood?
I think she would describe it as pretty average. Not necessarily pleasant all the time, but she figures everyone walks away from their childhood with some kind of problem. She is ok with talking about it, but she isn't really ok with reflecting on it for what it is. Normally when she talks about it she's very detached and purposefully cold.
I think the question about maturity is---not great? Like I could say Harper had to grow up fast and learn to do things on her own because of all the alone time she had---but that's not maturing. Even as an adult, Harper doesn't have a lot of emotional intelligence.
Beck had a lot of alone time as a kid and she has her own issues with trauma, but I do feel like her years in the wild, having her freedom and her happiness, gave her a lot of time to reflect and to grow up emotionally and to kind of decide how she at least wants to try to act.
This is in pure contrast to Harper. Harper's alone time as a kid didn't do anything but cause her more pain. Harper may not love how her mother acts, but it is one of her only models of behavior. She gained the veneer of maturity that comes with learning to suppress your feelings and get your shit done, but she had very little emotional intelligence. This is why she often resorts to yelling and mean comments when she's angry or hurt. And the fact that she essentially learned to never cry and to combat her vulnerability with anger and it helped her get where she is now in life did not help that.
All that being said no. Harper would not like to go back to being a child. She might want to go back to being a teen. At the time she had Beck, her first love, and she also had actual friends that appreciated her and liked her for who she was. That's not something she really gets anymore. Idk if it'd be enough to make her want to go back tho.
đ :  is my muse inclined to help others, or will they only do it when it benefits them, if at all? what makes them this way? has it ever gotten them into trouble, or inconvenienced them?
Harper is inclined to help when and if it gets her her way and given that the payoff is good enough. She's pretty self centered and apathetic to the general plight of humanity. In Marvel verses she lives in New York at the time of Loki and the most she'll ever say about the invasion was it was an irritating distraction that caused an inconvenient amount of damage to the roads.
She WILL help the people she cares about with no boundaries though. If someone she loves has a problem or a need she will attack it tirelessly and ruthlessly. If they're in danger there is no line she won't cross to protect them. But there are very, very, VERY few people Harper would do this for. And not to sound cliché but currently all of those people are ---- well it's actually just Beck lmao.
The reason she's like this could go back to her childhood and her experience losing her grandmother but I'm honestly not sure it's that deep? Harper is kind of selfish. She dislikes most people and distances herself from them in order to not feel guilty for her selfishness. It's not a great look, but that's the current state she's in for any verse you'll meet her in. Sure this does change in stories where she has time to grow, but never enough to make her a humanitarian.
Also no this doesn't really get her into trouble. She's pretty safe on top of the world.
đ :  how is my muse typically seen by others? does it ring true to who they really are? does their reputation matter to them?
Most people see Harper as a shrewd business woman and or a downright bitch. I won't lie and say they're totally wrong, but there is a genuine person in there and her flaws are usually exaggerations of the things that are good about her mixed in with her trauma. So yes, they technically see who she really is, but they lack the context to understand her fully. And she both allows and encourages this misunderstanding because it's advantageous to her. It helps her maintain control in the business world but also in the magical one. She employs and is followed by a lot of incredibly dangerous supernatural beings. Literal thousands of vampires, witches, and werewolves do as she bids and submit to her lead in large part because they respect her power. So she kind of has to let people think she's a bitch, but honestly she kind of likes it too. She has taken the label with pride.
đ„ :  does my muse have any â unusual â habits,  interests, and / or talents? do they hide it, or are they proud of it?
She's a necromancer so... Like that's pretty weird right? Specifically her research is focused on creating the perfect vampire in hopes of one day turning herself into a vampire without losing any of her magical abilities or having to be vulnerable to "silly" things like sunlight and garlic.
She also really really likes snakes and reptiles in general.
đ :  what kind of diet does my muse have? do they eat regularly, or the standard 2-3 meals a day? do they have to be reminded to eat, or are they likely to remind others? do they cook, or have others cook for them? do they eat healthily, or not so much?
I think Harper genuinely tries to eat healthy. She doesn't have any like sensory issues with food and while she isn't immune to worrying about weight, also doesn't obsess over it. I mean she doesn't have to because she spends so much time and energy on working she probably couldn't gain a pound if she ate a literal weight. Magic can be very draining, and she very often gets so focused she doesn't eat for hours. Then she feels sick and doesn't want to eat anything and she sure as fuck isn't about to cook.
This was one of the great ways that she and Beck fit together. Beck loved to cook and would drop by the office or the lab with snacks (so long as she didn't have to get near anything dead or nasty) and she always made enough dinner for two even when Harper said she wouldn't be home in time. And Beck eats pretty healthy (usually) so it worked well.
She does have a cook who makes meals for her. She usually takes them for lunch and if she remembers to will take a break and eat. Harper certainly doesn't cook. She thinks it is tedious and all too often has burned something because she was trying to multitask and forgot and nearly set the penthouse on fire.
Her favorite is when she gets the chance to eat with someone else that she likes. She absolutely adores French food and has a go-to place for meet ups.
#bet you weren't expecting a goddamn book lmao#i'm sorry i'm just really excited to talk about harper#bokketo
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The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll McSh*tFace
This is my review for the film: The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll McShitFace.
Enjoy.
Tagging @christopherleefan because I think you might enjoy this? Also, I wrote a fic for Taste of Fear (or Scream of Fear for us Americans), and you can expect one for this film as well.
Pre-face: Okay, okayâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ Let me compose myself.
âŠâŠâŠ..
âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ..
âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ.
âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ..
Alright, hit the play button.
London 1874 â I paused just to be sure this was the actual date when the book was written.
It was originally published in 1886.
Weâre off to a roaring start.
Ew. Children.
Playing in a garden, yep, this is about what I remember.
Little boy shoves girlâs flowers to the ground, and McShitFace talks about âdumb human animalsâ when referring to children. We agree on that, at least.
âPlay out when they cannot speak out.â Jekyll McShitFace suggests theyâve mentally blocked the ability to speak, due to the fact that they are letting another part of them be free to express itselfâŠ. What a load of garbage.
You resigned? Here I thought they fired you for being a creep. The fact that Ernst believes he really is a genius makes me want to punch something.
Theyâve been married for six years??
No servants, no friends, and Jekyll has cut all professional ties to study the mind⊠Like a madman. Yeah, I can see Kitty hating this.
Beyond Good and Evil? Beyond the reach of society?
âA very dangerous man, my friend.â No shit, Ernst. Jekyll is suggesting the âhigher manâ is the one within, while Ernst suggests that the weaker man maybe the âevilâ one. Or what we deem âevilâ. Jekyll, like some, has come to some crackpot conclusion that by drawing out the âevilâ man, the âweakerâ man within him, that he can isolate and destroy him⊠Or something to that effect.
Jekyll never answers Ernst when he asks if heâs used it on anything other than a monkey and I find that telling.
Paul is here. Ernst is leaving.
Jekyll is quite charitable to Paul, if nothing else, and Kitty is putting up a marvelous front. Kitty even tries to get him to spend time with her here, but I have a feeling she knows where this is going. Sheâs probably done this a million times. This is another for the till.
I can tell Kitty is tired of this. Jekyll spends night and day in the lab. All the time. Yeah, thatâd wear on most women. Considering the time period, this is all very strange. Then again, this is a âStrange Caseâ, or it was supposed to be.
Kitty telling him about Jekyll shouting to himself in his room, along with a strange voice that wasnât his own, for an entire night⊠âMarried to a man of great talent.â Ernst, my dudeâŠ
Kittyâs asking if he is insane enough to be sent away. Ernst says he isnât: âwe must both try to help him.â Right.
Christopher Lee! Damnit, heâs so tall. How tall is this actress?
Theyâre so cute. Terrible, but cute.
The top of her head reaches his nose or so. Heâs a damn good kisserâŠ
Kitty looks lovely in blue.
And is an extrovert.
Jekyll is an introvert.
Still hate him.
Donât bash the girl for liking to go out. Or ask her to: âtake the evening offâ.
âI need you tonight, Kitty. Stay.â Thatâs not creepy. After years of being ignored, thatâs not creepy in the slightest.
Okay, this might be just me, but⊠I see Kittyâs perspective. I sort of see Jekyllâs? Itâs a grey area. Iâve paused it to explain my reasoning â
Kitty, is an extrovert, as Iâve stated. She gets her energy from going out, being around people, and having a good time. Thatâs great. Good for her, you have fun girl, and take your boytoy (he really is, as often as he gets in money trouble) with you. Jekyll is decidedly not. To say they are incompatible would be an understatement.
Kitty is the type of woman who glows under attention, who craves it from both her partner and others. But mostly, her partner. Enter Paul, whoâs proven to be attached to her mostly through money, but thereâs so much more there. Again, I love these two, because theyâre so terribly flawed, but so clearly in love.
Jekyll, meanwhile, cut all attachment to âlive like a hermit in the center of Londonâ. Ernstâs words straight from the beginning of the film. I bet you Kitty was stifled, for years, before Paul came along. Now, not much is revealed of the how Jekyll became friends with him, when he did, or even why he did, but I want to bet it was during University or something. That seems the most likely theory, given Jekyllâs nature.
The Jekyll side is a bit more convoluted. Again, I donât think Kitty is being unfair here. Thereâs no telling how long she stayed lonely, cooped up in that house (reference back to when Ernst talked about no friends, no company, and no servants), and was just⊠bored, sad, and upset.
Ernst even mentioned the house being âin ruinsâ.
She calls him selfish for making it such an issue. I get the feeling he sort of deserves it. Also, sheâs in love with Paul now, so that adds another layer to their relationship not working and being incredibly strained.
âIâm not going to insult my friends for the sake of your whims.â Is what her argument amounted to. Again, the movie is making her sound like the selfish one, but you really have to take into account the history, nature, and aspects of each character. In doing so, I donât really think she is. I think sheâs in love with another man, bound to a farce of a marriage, and is doing the best she can by not staying near her creepy husband.
And yep, human experimentation time.
Yeah, go ahead McShitFace, sit at your desk and wait to become The Literal Worst.
Party time. Iâm shuddering. Too. Many. People. Ew.
Theyâre both terrible.
I love them.
Awful.
Paul complains of being bored, and yet she is bored doing the things he likes. They jab and jibe. He looks at another woman. They jab and jibe some more.
Theyâre bickering like theyâre already married.
Get a room.
Terminate their relationship?
They bring up their attachment, again, always with the money. Kitty likes a man free of shame, Paul thinks he might lose her to a man who had even less. Hahahaha. You nerds. Youâre in too deep and you both know it.
The Literal Worst has arrived. And heâs uglier than ever.
The Sphinx? Thatâs the name of this trash heap ballroom?
Hyde looks like a Tool. Barely two minutes on screen and heâs got the Creep Smirk going.
Hoes do not stand together, I see.
Paul and Kitty smiling at each other, having a grand old time. I love them.
Hyde showing his true colors already, by eyeing up Kitty, while dancing with another girl (though Iâm pretty sure sheâs a prostitute. Or just a woman who gets around, living off other menâs money). Wow, he also says some not-so-nice things to her before heading after Paul and Kitty, whoâs having a hell of a time. Paul can also be a jackass â
âDonât drink too much tonight, my darling.â She says it with such tenderness, while taking the glass from his hand.
âCunning little kitty cat. Rather a dull husband than a drunken lover, eh?â Paulâs already slurring. Heâs entered cad mode. Feel free to kick him to the curve, my dear. He deserves to nurse his hangover by himself.
She just looks disappointed.
Kittyâs creep alert is going off. Listen to it, honey. Run. Run, far away.
Sheâs trying to take Paul home.
Then going to dance with Hyde. Fuck. Kitty, listen to your Creep Radar.
Friendship with Kitty? Honey. No. Run. âCan I trust you?â
?? Kitty. No. Do not trust the creep.
Prostitute girl is back, claiming Hyde tried to force her, and some dude wants recompense. Kitty just wants to go home. Paul refuses to leave, to help Hyde.
Has common sense become a commodity that only Kitty is buying??
âGive the lady a few sovereigns, and thereâll be no trouble.â Yeah, sounds like a prostitute. Kitty bids them all goodnight. Paul looks sad to see her go. Should have thought about that before you acted the bastard.
Hyde tells them to go to hell and take the trollop with him. Dude dives at them, Paul knocks him out⊠And Hyde keeps hitting him. Paul stops him, telling him not to kill him, and then asks him if heâs ill.
âLet me alone, Jekyll. Let me alone.â Dumbass. Jekyll voice coming out of Hyde. Thatâs not creepy. Paul looks amused by the creep show. Hyde leaves the place, screaming, and being weird.
Lots of voice changing. This actor is actually really good. Jekyll realizes what he did, because Hyde says: âI will be back, Jekyll. I will return.â
Jekyll: âNever. Never.â
So he knows this was a bad idea?
Goes into Kittyâs room, whose reading, and she starts talking about her âpartyâ. She wants to go to sleep. Jekyll still comes closer, being a creep. Creep Radar is blaring.
âI need you, Kitty. I need you desperately.â And he comes in, trying to kiss at her, mouthing at her neck. Like a creep. I know this is a parallel to later in the film (yeah, itâs terrible), when Hyde is in control, but I still hate this.
I had to pause during the next scene to do a deep character analysis â
Kitty pushes him off, telling him sheâs tired, and even says âpleaseâ. As if she should have to beg him to keep his damn creep hands to himself. He still has a wild, crazy look in his eye, and asks: âWhat are you really like, Kitty?â
âIâm your wife, thatâs all I am.â She answers it with such evenness, barely disturbed, and it reminds me of what Paul said to her â
âFrom perfect wife to perfect mistress, and back again to perfect wife.â
This movie has a lot to do with the masks we wear. We change them, depending on who weâre talking to: family, friends, strangers, lovers, etc. All the different relationships we have require a mask, shadowing the core of who we are, because letting someone see everything of ourselves is too terrifying to consider. We donât show our true selves out of fear, pride, or some other convoluted mixture of emotions.
However, every mask has a basis, a template of origin.
I feel as if, at some point, Kitty really did love Jekyll. She must have. She married him not for his intelligence, not for his money, but because she genuinely loved him. Kitty loves too deeply, too strongly, and has all the hallmarks of a woman who has been burned by that depth of attachment.
âItâs my fault, a woman who shows her feelings always loses dignity.â Kitty says this during the first bit of the dance she has with Paul, which reveals so much of her character. She doesnât look at him when she says it, the pain of her admittance is too much, and she shies away from anyone witnessing it. Even Paul.
Her relationship with Paul is strained right now. Itâs weird. It seems like neither of them knows where itâs going, too afraid to continue, but even more horrified by the prospect of letting the other go.
When speaking of breaking their âarrangementâ (look up âaffairâ in the dictionary), Kitty suggested Paul wouldnât be able to get along financially without her. Paul rebuffed her, saying that Jekyll and he had been friends for years, and she was just his dutiful wife⊠despising him.
Thereâs an ease between them that feels years old, yet I doubt it was from the get-go of hers and Jekyllâs marriage. No, she probably did hate him quite a bit, in the beginning. But thereâs a thin line between love and hate, one that can be crossed with loneliness. I like to think it was physical at first, a build up of tension between a woman caged in a house, and watching this man go out and spend her husbandâs money.
It was probably Paul who convinced her to come out with him one evening. Fuck it. Jekyll wants to stay in his lab all night? Well, why should you stay too? Kitty probably said no at first. Why would she go out with this smarmy bastard, who gambles, who sleeps with anything that has legs, and drinks himself silly? But then thereâs the wanting, the listening to her husband tinker away, watching life go by without herâŠ
She probably went to Jekyll. She tried to talk to him, have dinner with her in the house that night. Without any servants, sheâs learned to cook. He makes a point of trying to be nice but talks about his work⊠Always his work. She asks him to kiss her, as if thatâs something she should have to nearly beg for. And what did he do? On the verge of some great breakthrough?
âNot right now, Kitty. Iâm busy.â
Kitty, who is strong, vibrant, and beautiful, is not enough to stir a man from the wake of progress. From pride.
Humiliation and defeat, a loathing that breaks through love, stuffs her chest and nearly throttles her on the spot. Retreating, glassy eyed to her room. She probably cried, mourning her broken heart.
After that, she demands to go with Paul.
Thereâs probably a touch of shock, then a knowing smirk. Heâs probably seen lots of women with husbands who ignore them, falling into his kind of life, dancing and drinking and laughing their nights away.
Heâs not ready for this one.
Alright, hitting play again â
âBut the woman inside of you, is that woman my wife?â
No. No, sheâs not. She belongs with Paul.
Stop shaking her. Sheâs right. Get out.
Take your: âWho am I?âs and get the fuck out.
Cut to Paul being a cad again. Ugh. Go home to Kitty, you absolute tool bag.
He and Hyde are sitting at a table in The Sphinx with two bimbos. Wonderful.
Hyde is a creep. I will say that no less than ten times in this review. I probably already have.
The fuck is this?
Theyâre doing something weird.
Really weird.
A snake charmer dance.
Am I to assume they wish us to believe that snake is venomous?
Okay, to be fair, all snakes and spiders are venomous, but the potency of their venom varies in such a way that they effect most human bodies on different levels. I say âmostâ because you can be allergic to something, and receive a far more harrowing experience than 98% of the population.
However, that does not excuse the fact that the creature in question is a ball python and is therefore basically harmless. Minus some swelling and bruising.
I had to pause to write that, okay, playing again â
Yeah, this poor animal is being abused by being forced into a âsensual danceâ with this woman. âTigressâ, they call her, kill me now. Paul says sheâs exclusive to the elite. Kill me twice over. This dance is the worst. That poor snake is confused.
Paul is looking worriedly at Hyde as he stares, transfixed, at this woman. Dude, he wants to get bitch slapped, let him.
Christopher Leeâs eyebrows are doing things to me. Paul is the real eye candy in this shit show.
UGHASDKFJASDKFNAMSDKFJNASDKF
Jkljasdfklajsdklfansdkfnj
Klasjeirkmaskdfnjkasdjf
Klasdmfnkasndf
JKLASJDKLFNASKLDFNJ
UGH
SHE
SHE PUT
THE SNAAEK
HEAD
IN
MOTUH
WHY? WHY? WHY would â
WOULD uuo â
That poor animal.
Tell me that was fake.
She did not really put that poor creatureâs head in her mouth.
This is abuse.
Not to mention, really gross. Salmonella, and a million other diseases could potentially exist on the skin of a reptile. Do not handle reptiles and then touch your face, or eat, or put any part of their body inside your mouth. Wash hands after handling, thank you.
Disgusting.
And people are clapping. And cheering.
Is this what passes for âexoticâ in the 1700s????
Maybe itâs my modern cynicism, but I am not impressed. I am shuddering in revulsion.
Mostly because of the snake in mouth bit.
Gods.
End me.
Iâm about to shriek.
âForget it, dear boy. Sheâs not in the prep-school class. Believe me, Iâve tried.â
Paul. Paul.
Have you ever considered:
Sheâs blind.
Youâre gorgeous.
And you have a gorgeous woman waiting on you at home.
Why do you bother with the bimbos?
Girl on the right is pretty, okay, sheâs like⊠an 8. Chick on the left is⊠also pretty, but like a 7.
Kitty is a damn 16, she blows them out of the water. There is no competition. When youâve already had it all, why bother even looking at anything less? She gets bumped up to a 30 for the fact that she has a brain, she snarks, she jabs with the best of them, and is not afraid to leave you to your well-deserved hangover.
I will fight for Kittyâs honor.
Paul. Iâm about to throw down.
He calls the dancer over â Maria â and I can already tell heâs going to â
Yep. Be a bastard.
âShe only uses Christian names in bed.â
He deserved that drink to the face.
Even Hyde looks surprised. Then impressed.
Pft â HA! I have to quote this:
âWell, ladies, it seems that I must entertain you both.â He says, while soaked with what one can assume is scotch. âI trust that you will not be too disappointed.â Girl on the right looks like she expects to be disappointed. Ms. Left has her game face on.
âOh, weâll just have to manage.â Left is already up and at it.
âSomehow or other.â Right is playing along for now.
âThank you for your confidence.â Paulâs reply does not sound confident in the slightest. He follows them through a curtain doorway. Iâd say, âpoor bastardâ, but he doesnât deserve my sympathy right now.
Hyde is creeping on Maria now.
âKeep away from him, he is dangerous.â
Yeah. To medium sized rodents.
Actually, considering Hyde is nothing more than a big, smelly, greasy, slimy rat â
Nah, wouldnât want to give the poor thing indigestion.
âYour friend talked to me like a common whore.â
I assumed you two knew each other? I donât know, they are weird and vague on that. Alan says heâs tried, then claims what names she uses in bed, and she did throw the drink on him afterwards. Iâve no idea.
I will give this to Hyde: He is a smooth talker. He is also, however, still a bastard.
And the makeup they used on this actress is not flattering at all. Iâve seen pictures of her, and she was beautiful. They somehow made her look hideous. âImpertinentâ is a word, though not quite the one I would use for this piece of garbage.
I love putting subtitles on. Theyâre so dumb.
(Soft sensual music) my ass.
Of course they shag. Why wouldnât they?
Sheâs given him an in, now⊠âYou do not buy, you do not beg.â A man who âtakesâ. No, do not give him that.
âA nice, cold wife.â Iâm so furious.
They do have a servant! An old woman. Probably a concession after years.
âMr. Hyde.â Creep.
âNannyâ.
âLately, this house has become unused to visitors.â
âThe wife of a recluseâŠâ
Trying to sweet talk a woman in love will not go over well for you.
Paulâs??? Paulâs friendship. What a save.
âThe question of trespass hardly arises. Mr. Allen has no property rights in me.â
And as for Henry: âHenry leads his own life. He doesnât seek my approval, and I donât seek his. Is that wrong?â
OOOOOOFFFFF.
Sweet talk till you talk like that.
âTo the boredom of being a neglected wife, and the humiliation of being a rejected mistress.â
It almost felt like she was into the flirting till he said that, but I still get the feeling she wouldnât have slept with him. You can enjoy flirting, some people do it for a living, but not the act that comes after. As I said before, Kitty wears many masks. This one is short-lived. Hyde has insulted her, and the change in her demeanor is like a switch.
Kitty loves too deeply, to be reminded of her first failing, and the possibility of her loss of Paul is a kick in the teeth. Is she not worth loving? Is science, money, knowledge, other women â is she just no match? Can she have nothing out of this?
âI must say, you are honest. A trifle obvious, perhaps, but honest.â And too close to the surface, too close to the proverbial nail. Kitty is genuinely afraid of losing Paul, and it shows. Sheâs clinging onto something she feels she canât hold onto, whether for her already damaged pride or because she doesnât want to be hurt again. Her face only really started to shift when he said mistress.
âMy great affair has already begun.â Sheâs pulling herself so easily from his arms. He talks about great love since he felt her in his arms, and she just turns away with this casual walk of a knowing woman.
âIt was well advanced before ever you appeared on the scene.â She looks almost proud, though thereâs still this edge to her. She expects it to crash and burn. Sheâs just waiting for it.
âI wonder what is the special quality in a man as weak, unscrupulous, and utterly unreliable as Paul Allen?â This really bothers him. Hyde is essentially Jekyll unchained, a copy of the inner, dark urges of one man laid bare, and given free run of the place⊠And heâs a total rat bastard.
And Kitty is smiling. Kitty is overjoyed.
âI donât question your description, Mr. Hyde.â Sheâs radiating with delight. Even that description of Paul in all his awful glory stirs nothing but happiness in her.
âWell then, but whyâŠâ And heâs reaching for her, stroking his fingers over her back. Itâs this odd mimicry of how Jekyll tried to hold her that night. Ugh.
âI merely happen to love him.â Yes! SHE SAID IT!
âLove? Love is an idiocy!â And sheâs laughing again. Iâm beginning to believe Kitty uses laughter to cover her pain. Hyde/Jekyll McShitFace uses rage.
âAn idiocy of mine, perhaps, but a fact.â Then we get this beautiful close up of her face, the vindication with which she says it has me living â
âI love Paul Allen.â Love, you must be so blind and so wonderful.
(Ominous music). As Hyde descends back to his basement to turn back into Jekyll. Back to the sewer, your garbage monster.
Ernst is here. Okay, something weird is happening again. Jekyll has a heightened metabolism. Probably from sustaining two rat bastards instead of one. Iâve no idea how much time has elapsed, but quite a bit Iâm guessing. A week? A month? Another year? Nah, probably more like a week or so.
Jekyllâs life is âburning out at a much faster rate.â
Kitty is fed up with being Paulâs âbank clerkâ. Yeah, letâs bring Henry into this. âLet him deal with lifeâs little problems and leave us its gaietyâ? You are a cad. Why do you love him again, Kitty? You can do better.
Sheâs sick of being used.
âHow can you talk of our love in this way?â Love? Is this the first time you bring it up to her? While asking for money? Aklsjdfkasjdf
Men are annoying.
âYou hypocrite!â Thank you.
Debts of honor, my pale ass.
Heâs going to Henry.
Ernst knows heâs addicted to something. He says itâs more damning, whatever it is.
At least Paul is honest. Jekyll is being cold to him now. He knows about him and Kitty now. He goes back to his work desk. âGoing awayâ. Right. Run.
Paul gets nothing. Notes something must be wrong with him.
Kitty is worried about Paul now.
And fuck â Jekyll is giving full power of his shit to Hyde. His estate, his money, his assets, everything goes to Hyde. This happened in the book, of course, but this completely cuts Kitty off as well.
Also, he even says heâs using Hyde to âlearn all he canâ. You pretty much know it all. Kitty, your wife, is in love with your âfriendâ, Paul. Itâs not that hard. Youâve effectively been gaslighting them from the beginning.
âFor do I want to return to a life of frustrated isolation and loveless misery?â
I.
I haveâŠ
So many problems with this statement alone.
You left your wife, even said it yourself, neglected. For years. So much so, that sheâs alone as well. Of course she searched for something beyond you, when you chose to isolate yourself first⊠And you know what? Iâm happy for Kitty, she found something, someone to love and love her in return. Is it perfect? No, but â
Anything and everything can be traced back to you, you sorry sack of literal shit. Iâm about to lose it. Heâs reaping what heâs sewn, and now heâs trying to escape it.
Iâm so pissed off.
He drinks more stuff. Great. The return of The Literal Worst is upon us.
Wow⊠Never heard Christopher Lee say that before â
âDamn bad luck youâve been having, I hear, Allen, old man.â Some man comments on the state of Paulâs life, which has gone to hell in a handbasket.
âDamn bad luck.â Paulâs agreement seems to taste as bad as the cigarette heâs smoking. I wonder how many are his, in that overflowing mound of ash and stumps, at the center of the table.
âOh, well, luckâs a bitch, old boy.â Not sure that was a saying yet, but maybe this is the one that starts the trend.
âOh, I shouldnât think so.â Paul looking like heâd like to swallow down the rest of the decanter on the table, with Hyde being the creep that just walked in. âIâve always had the best possible luck with bitches.â
I just about spit my tea. Not even kidding.
âAlmost always, anyway.â
Youâre terrible. Kitty should leave without either of you.
How is this review over 4K words? Whoâs still reading this?
âWomen arenât a weakness theyâre a recurrent necessity.â Paul. Paul. What are you doing?
âOldest mistressâ.
Paul. Youâre awful with money and itâs obvious.
Theyâre going to go out on the town. Like bastards. Hyde is The Literal Worst.
Snap shots of Londonâs underbelly during the 1700s⊠Brawling, lots of drinking and bad singing, and⊠smoking? Opium? Hooka? Who the fuck knows anymore.
Paulâs out. Hyde is doing the 100-yard Creep Stare.
Paul is out making debts again. âHonorableâ ones, at least.
Now heâs out of ideas. Itâs been a week. He spent all that money â 5,000 in a week. Ouch. âBut you, are a fool.â We agree on that. That is the only thing Hyde, and I will ever agree on.
âAnd Iâll try Kitty.â
Ha.
Haha.
You can see the wheels turning unpleasantly in Paulâs head. His brow is doing that furrowed thing when heâs confused.
âWhat the devil do you mean, Hyde?â You know what he means, you just donât want him to go on. Youâre hoping he doesnât mean what you think he means.
âWell, that should be simple enough for even you to understand.â Again, insulting people while mixing in kind words, though his next ones are far from kind: âI am telling you to obtain your mistress for me.â
Paul is rising out of his chair. His brow is still doing that furrowed thing, but it has gotten even deeper. The rage is coming, a wave that was slow to foam, but quick to rise.
âYou unspeakable devil.â Thereâs still some disbelief, but thereâs no denying the shock.
Hyde is doing the creep laugh with a â âHow very amusing.â Now you can see the anger, itâs chiseling its way into his features, hard and sharp.
âPaul Allen, breaker of every law in the moral code, is shocked into morality.â
Full blown: Iâd punch the ever-living hell out of you. Iâm about to.
âYou vile, disgusting degenerate.â His lips are quivering. Heâs barely holding it together.
âBe rational, my friend.â Youâre pushing him far beyond ârationalâ. âIâm asking for the temporary loan of a proven adulteress, of whom you yourself have grown somewhat tired.â
First of all: fuck you. Second of all: Kitty already said he has no property rights to her.
âYou go back to hell!â Paul. Punch. Him.
Oh⊠Wait⊠Yeah, heâd probably get in trouble for that. And then be sent to jail. And I doubt he wants to be in there while Kitty is out here with this lunatic. Yeah, running out before you lose it seems wise.
Still should have throttled him a bit.
Now what is The Literal Worst doing? Going back to the houseâŠ
And sneaking into Kittyâs room. You creep. Iâve never wished to jump through a television screen more.
They only have one servant, âNannyâ, is her name.
Heâs blackmailing her. With Paulâs notes. Fuck. âBuy him backâ.
Sheâs laughing. Yes, that is Kittyâs response to being uncomfortable.
âYou utterly repel me.â YES! Go girl! She laughs as he storms out, tossing the notes away. Then she closes and locks the door, pressing her back to it. She was probably more than a little terrified.
Hyde assaults a homeless man, shoving him down, and steps over him. That was in the book⊠Then back to some cesspit that Paul showed him.
Thereâs something weird going on here with Hyde and this girl.
Cut to Kitty and Paul snuggling. And kissing. This is the quality content I came for. Heâs wearing the same shirt from earlier⊠Which means he probably took a good long walk, had a small conniption, and then went straight to her.
âWhy does love make us behave so hatefully to one another?â Yeah, well, Paul has been the terrible one here.
âBecause weâre cowards, my darling. We want everything.â Iâm not sure what Paulâs deal is, why he is the way he is⊠He could just be an ivy league guy who grew up, not knowing how to handle money, he might not come with as much baggage as the rest of them.
Why canât they just be happy and cute?
Go away? Start a new life? Yeah, do that.
Right now.
Leave.
Before Jekyll McShitFace gets back.
Ah, they planned to mug Hyde, using the girl as a means to dupe him. Seems about right. Also deserved.
Ah, Kitty is leaving Jekyll. About bloody time. Also, the wrong time, considering the whole Hyde business.
Jekyll has destroyed his drugs, though admits that Hydeâs grip is too powerful. Right. As if Ernst didnât warn you it was an addiction. âNo degeneracy is low enough to satisfy him.â You mean you, right? Because, he is, after all, you.
The kids are back in the garden. This can only end well.
Oh, theyâre leaving. GoodâŠ
Paul and Kitty are making out again. Good for them.
Jekyll shoved a kid. Bad for him.
Same little girl whoâs always trying to give him flowers. Yeah, heâs losing it. Rushing back into lab to pen a last will and testament one can hope â
Nope, no such luck.
âExorcise himâ. Right.
Handwriting switch. Interesting.
Paul admitting to Kitty heâs in trouble with Hyde.
If looks could kill.
Hyde lures them with an invitation from Jekyll, about their last evening together being âgayâ.
Kitty doesnât want to go, sheâs frightened. Listen to your gut.
Paul wants to stay, because they think heâll settle. Kitty agrees.
Fuck.
Cabaret. Ugh.
Someone get me out of here. Lots of underwear. This is painful.
Hyde making plans to meet with Maria before meeting with Paul and Kitty, whoâs dressed for a funeral. Paul. Donât. Go. Of course, he does.
Up to Mariaâs room. Piss it.
More cabaret. Iâll hand it to you ladies; you can cartwheel and front flip. That is impressive. Also, Iâm completely serious, because the amount of muscles it takes to do that are insane. Flexibility is also key. Congrats ladies.
Paul meets with Hyde.
âSurely we can keep Kitty out of this.â He knows somethingâs up and didnât want to involve her. Smart, but also stupid.
âHardly.â Hydeâs reply sets my teeth on edge.
Paul. Donât go into that room. To meet him in private. Fuck me. Backwards. Paul.
A ball python. How dangerous. Paul. Thereâs a table right there. Squish the fucker. I mean, Iâm against animal cruelty, but in the case of the story, that thing is supposed to be deadly. Squish. Squish. Otherwise, leave him the fudge alone and heâll leave you alone.
Kitty⊠Donât go with the creepy man. Listen to your Creep Radar.
Paulâs dead. Kitty doesnât deserve this. Donât â
I hate this. I hate this. Paul is literally dead in the other room.
Iâm writing so much fix-it fic for this, you wonât believe.
This review is 18 pages long. If youâve made it this far, may the gods have mercy on you, because my wrath at this point is endless.
Maria is in Jekyllâs house. He told her to go back to that house, put on Kittyâs clothes â
âThe pattern of justice is complete.â
Rot. In. Hell.
Paul and Kitty deserved better. They deserved each other.
Kitty waking up, godsâ I hate this. Sheâs a wreck. Her hair, her clothes⊠You can tell sheâs about to be sick. Sheâs barely holding it together. Thereâs a fucking note⊠A note leading her to the snake⊠She finds Paul dead. Sheâs already shellshocked. Out onto the balconyâŠ
âPaul.â Her last word.
She plummets over the balcony, through the glass roof, and â
Cut to Maria saying: âI love you Edward.â
âI canât love.â We can agree on two things. Those two things.
âI must be free.â Right before murdering Maria.
Jekyll finally takes back over, rightfully horrified, and runs back to his lab. With three corpses under his belt.
What an interesting mirror effectâŠ
âWhy must you destroy?â
âI must be free.â
Then we go back-and-forth, about who murdered, who revenged, and who was wronged. They werenât in Hydeâs way, but Jekyll was. He doesnât âfeelâ. Yeah, rightâŠ
Hyde is every dark, terrible impulse Jekyll has had, given life and form. His desire to be free, to run rampant, has been a desire of Jekyllâs since the beginning. Free the beast so he could kill it⊠Then proceeded to twist it to gaslight his wife, his friend, and everyone else. He was living a life, a lie, a sham. The desire for freedom from persecution for our desires, to be allowed to do what we want, when we want, without judgement has been an overarching theme in all of society. People are persecuted for what pronouns they want to use, for how they eat, how they dress, how they talk â
However, because Hyde is merely a reflection, one can assume his desire for freedom is mirrored in Jekyllâs continued desire for the same. Jekyll wants to continue to exist, so Hyde must desire to exist in turn. Heâs still composed completely of Jekyllâs desires.
He says he doesnât feel, yet there is a desperation, a fear in his voice when he says: âYou must lose, Jekyll.â Because heâs afraid he wonât. Heâs horrified by the idea of being trapped forever, of their relation being found outâŠ
Cut to Inspector being on the case at The Sphinx.
Wow, a lady in gentlemanâs clothing runs The Sphinx. Nice.
Jekyll trying to leave a letter to Ernst. Yeah, thatâll go over well. He calls a street cleaner over to take his note to Ernst, but of course, Hyde has to upset that plan.
Again, I give props to the actor for the massive amount of voice switching, and playing the âtorturedâ scientist, and the King of the Creeps.
Hyde is about to kill this street cleaner. Mate, why did you come into this guyâs house to randomly move something for him? He shoots him in the back, of courseâŠ
The Inspector arrives! Not in timeâŠ
Hyde is about to torch the place. Of course he is.
He puts up a performance for the police, saying Jekyll is nuts⊠Whole place is on fire, with street cleaner acting as a sub-in for the body of Jekyll.
I swear, if this fucker gets away with this, I will riot.
Is nobody seeing the Creepiest Grin of the Century?
No, of course not, theyâre trying to fight a raging fire.
And of course, thereâs a court hearing over the whole thing. Jekyll went nuts. True. He was addicted to drugs. Also true, though itâs not any kind ever seen before. Sought vengeance for imagined slights. True again.
âFortunate to have escaped â â
Screw you.
Death by suicide. If only.
Do not tell me this is how this movie ends.
âA fine man. A fine â â
Shut up Ernst.
âThe higher man.â Shut your face hole, Hyde.
Jekyll is coming out.
âI must leave immediately.â Oh no, you donât, you bastard.
âHelp me.â Keep talking, Jekyll. Get out of there. Confess. You deserve it.
Lots of struggling here. Again, props to the actor.
Inspector, Ernst, and everyone are watching. Do it now, you bastard.
He turned back into Jekyll!
Finally! You did something useful!
He looks really old. Apparently being Hyde aged him decades.
You can still rot in hell.
âI have destroyed him.â
âAnd yourself, my poor friend.â
âOnly I could destroy him.â Dramatic pause. âAnd I have.â
Heâs arrested.
Abrupt Hammer Horror Ending.
Kitty and Paul deserved better.
This review is 20 pages long, over 6K words, and it took me 4 hours to get through it because I kept pausing and rewinding to quote.
Youâre welcome.
#The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll#McSh*tFace#I'm So Tired#Christopher Lee#This Took Way Too Long#Movie Review#Kitty and Paul Deserved Better#So Much Fix-It Fic To Write
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hi! i just wanted to let you know that you're an incredibly talented writer and i love all of your stony fics! i especially loved the fic Cold Space, Warm Welcome, and was wondering if you could write a steve!pov version of it! i'd love to see your take on pining!steve, which i'm sure would be wonderful. thank you so much for sharing your writing with us, and i hope you have a wonderful day!
Hiiiiii thank you! đ
Iâm very fond of Cold Space, Warm Welcome, itâs true. Iâm not gonna write a full-length Steve POV, but here, have a ficlet I just cobbled together! Hope you like, and that you have a wonderful day, too.
By the way, Iâm mostly putting the tumblr prompts Iâve received on hold for now (though I love them all), because Iâm currently struggling working on a timestamp for front row seats and want to get that posted before the auction for Marvel Trumps Hate starts. Iâve signed up for the auction and BY THE BY if anyone wants to bid on me, Iâm open to timestamps/sequels to most fics Iâve written (please send me a message to confirm which ones are possible) sooooooo
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Everyoneâs making a fuss over nothing. Steveâs had more than his fair share of falling into vacuum, and really, it was only a matter of time before heâd do it with a malfunctioning suit. Itâs only been a few minutes since heâd arrived on board the Iron Advance but heâs already regained coordination and feeling in his hands and feet.Â
âYou drink that up,â Natasha says, nodding at the cup in his hands, courtesy of Happy and the Iron Advance hangarâs drinks dispensary. Why didnât they have one on the Furtherance? Oh well.
Steve squints at the steaming mug in his hands. âDonât you have a black box to decode?â
âItâs on my list,â Natasha says. âAfter making sure the Captain hasnât frozen to death.â
âCâmon, itâd take more than a space jaunt to freeze our Cap,â Clint says.
âOh, so this is typical of yâall,â Rhodey says. âIs that what Iâm hearing?â
While the others erupt into what is no doubt a fruitful discussion on what is and isnât the norm of the two crews, Steve focuses on the drink. Truth be told, he thinks itâs not mainly the drink, nor the blanket on his shoulders, thatâs making him feel better and raring to go.
Itâs the excitement of where they are, all of them, on the Iron Advance. Although losing a good ship will sting for a long time, Steve has always kept his focus forward and onward and upward, through his military career and Sol service and wars that lost their purpose long before their momentum.
Better to be in the here and now, on a ship that belongs to trust allies, and especiallyâŠ
Actually, there he is.
Steve thinks he mightâve developed a hypersensitivity to the color combo of red-and-gold. Just seeing it at the corner of his eye makes him perk up, as it does now, thanks to Tonyâs marching across the hangar, his armorâs boots surprisingly light on the metal walkway. Steve wondered earlier where heâd gone off to, when everyone else had landed. Even now, Tony isnât approaching them, but is instead walking towards a metal rig by the bulkhead.
Steve feels himself ready to get up and call out â Tony, where are you going?
But then Tony turns, stepping backward into the rig, and the armor opens.
The armor opens â Steve had no idea it could open like that, and he thought it was a far more difficult process what with how heâs never Tony so much as take off his helmet â whereby plates and flaps do a complicated but seemingly effortless dance around its human pilot, who then steps out.
Its human pilot, who is Tony, who steps down onto the grate.
He is â that is â thatâs Tony.
Steve canât say heâs never wondered what Tony looks like inside the suit. Heâs wondered a lot, but heâs also figured that it didnât matter, because Tony could look like anyone and heâd still be wonderful â funny, smart, sarcastic, and such a good guy when heâs not feeling self-conscious about it.
But Steve now realizes that he had developed some mental images of Tony that persisted. Namely, the strong association of Tony with the red-and-gold armor meant that Steveâs been thinking of the man underneath as having the traits of that armor, too â shiny, glossy, perfectly crafted like the amazing creations he makes.
But Tonyâs not perfectly-crafted and glossy. Heâs just⊠a guy. Heâs a human being with messy hair, unkempt overalls and workshop stains on his arms and hands. A human being with clever brown eyes, a goatee over a chin that hints at a smirk, strong arms and tapered waist, plus all of above in a single package that is breathtakingly touchable and relatable and vulnerable in ways that the armor isnât.
One thing remains true between the armor and the man underneath: theyâre both beautiful.
The man rather more, though.
The manâs also scowling at him. And is turning away, muttering an instruction to the Iron Advanceâs computer under his breath.
Steve should say something. He must say something. But all his brain can summon up is a variation of, Oh wow, which is neither useful nor witty, and Steve wants to be witty.
âI got your shield,â Tony calls out at him. âYouâre welcome.â
âOh, thatâsââ Steve starts to get up, but pressure on his shoulder keeps him sitting. This is a sorry state of affairs, because Tony leaves without even a glance back, as though Steveâs the only one who feels the weight of this historical moment, because it is a historical moment.
âThatâsâŠâ Steve realizing that heâs still staring down the doorway Tony disappeared through. âThatâs Tony.â
âYeah,â Rhodey says slowly. âIâm pretty sure youâve met.â
Steve blinks rapidly, as though a fog is just rising out of his brain. He quickly busies himself consuming the drink in his hands, and ignores the sound Natasha makes behind his back.
#anonymous#verse: cold space warm welcome#superhusbands#scaramouche writes superhusbands fic#scaramouche answers asks
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Um idk how to do this but can i get Imani meeting one of the canon pastas of your choice? Idk how this works sorry you can delete this if you want đ
It was a colder night, which made it the best time for this. It was starting to become winter as the leaves changed and fell off the trees. It was 3 am, one of the peak witching hours for those who pay attention to those kinds of thing. And right now, a person stood on the bridge edge looking down at a rushing river below them.
Puppet has been working on this sucker for weeks, almost a month actually. Poor son of a bitch was a college dropout. They had dreams to try and be a nurse, but cracked under the pressure and couldn't recover. They turned to drink, making minimum wage flipping burgers. They unable to keep themselves and their addiction afloat for long, and sunk deeper into depression.
"If you jump, no one will suffer knowing you anymore." Puppet whispered into their ear. He made it seem as if it was their own thoughts. Â He continued, "It will all be over in an instant. You won't feel a thing."
Little did they know that they weren't alone on the bridge. A tall woman walked towards them, her heels clicking in rhythmically. One, two, three, pause. One, two, three, pause. No more, no less. She didn't want to anger herself, not tonight. She approached them, her black mask glinting with the light from the moon overhead. Now, Imani wasn't any psychic like her younger sister. She's known for being aloof to the emotions of those she didn't know, but even she could sense their depression and apathy. She pauses next to them, her long tight coiled hair being rustled by the breeze. She ran her long red painted nails over the railing separating her from their own demise.Â
"Don't do it." Their head whipped towards her and they opened their mouth, intending to speak. Imani lifted her hand up shushing them and the authority that poured out of her. Stopping them from speaking along with her accented voice was a hidden talent.
"I've been there. And as you fall your survival instincts will set in and the last thing you think other than the pain will be about how you regret jumping. And that's assuming you don't survive. Either outcome of jumping is bad." She moved so that her back was to the bubbling river and the scarred flesh of her back rested against the railing. A crop top and short skirt weren't exactly appropriate for the weather, but she was on a mission. Being honest with herself about this, if she couldn't talk to this person from killing themselves she could always slit their throat. Then she could carry on her way. She did have a reputation and a kill streak to maintain after all. Not even her momentary streak of empathy could stop that.
Puppet saw this woman move over to his prey. He wasn't exactly happy that someone decided to come out in the middle of the night here. Always with the people who want to save others. Why the fuck did it matter if one person died? They had no friends, no family, no one to speak of. And yet everything seemed as if it was slipping from his grasp.
"She is lying. A stranger. How can a stranger know what you feel like?" Puppet urged to his prey. This was the meal he has been working on for so long. He was hungry, and this person was his next ticket. Imani fiddled with her hands, assessing how her nails looked awful as she spoke once more. Vanity was her sin after all.Â
"One of my friends when I was, what, seventeen? Yeah, seventeen I do believe, killed herself on this very bridge. Her brother had died in a drive-by two weeks earlier. Death inspires death, dear. Somewhere someone will be gravely impacted by your death, as it is the way of this universe we live in." With every word that fell from Imani's silver tongue, the person became less determined to die. The woman seemed to deflect everything the voice in their head. She even said with a weird nonchalance tainting her words. Like she had done this before. Little could they see, during this conversation Imani had gotten in position to get the small throwing knife pressed against her hip. It is hidden by her favorite skirt. Much like the Puppeteer, Imani had a hunger. But hers was to feel the sensation of warm blood coating her hands. Her empathy was running out in sync with this person's time left on this earth.
Puppet floated around the two individuals, seeing what this new woman had to offer to him. He studied her, watching her, knowing that she couldn't see him. Perks of being a ghost, and he loved it. He couldn't see what she was planning, but he noticed a small change in her stature. Her posture changed. What could it be?
"Attack her! She is going to kill you! You were already planning on it, so go down with a fight!" he sends into the person's mind. The person looked between her and the bridge, then charged her. It didn't matter how the person died, so long it was the suicide of some form he got his meal.
Imani's eye widened as the person charged at her, and a look of boredom graced her features under her mask. Her reaction was swift and uncanny. She may be a sniper but under her finery and skin dipped in silk she was a weapon; a woman sculpted out of pure muscle. She lifted them up by their jugular, grinning under her mask as she watched them grab at her hands in desperation, choking as she slowly crushed their windpipe with her ever-tightening grip of death. She pressed them up against the railing, her pupil dilating in manic excitement. Her brows borrowed as she felt the person lean all their weight backward, forcing Imani to let go and they toppled over the railing. She watched them fall into the churning dark river below them. Imani cocked an eyebrow, looking down in indifference as she ran her nails over the rail rhythmically and she spoke a single word as she reviewed the scene in her mind.Â
"Tragedy."
Puppet looked this and started to clap while he was invisible, watching the person fall over the side of the bridge. Upon their end he could feel their energy flow into him, their life force giving him life. It did feed his hunger, the kind he needed for a long time trying to get this person to finish off. He moved behind Imani and floated down to stand behind her, his body starting to solidify. "Hardly a tragedy. Their death gives me life." He says, dusting his hands along his sides. He then continues, "Thanks for the help with that then."She flinched away from him, whirling around to face him. Nobody could be behind her. Not again. She took a deep breath when she saw the man's glowing eyes and inhuman appearance. Her eye roamed his form, and her gaze cast a thousand little judgmental needles upon him.Â
"... You're welcome?" She crossed her arms over her chest, she was defensive and suspicious and a thousand different thoughts clouded her mind, trying to figure out what he was planning. This... Whatever being had appeared behind her with no warning whatsoever, she wasn't about to be friendly.Â
"Who are you?"
Puppet smiled and extended his arms, putting one over his heart and gives an impressive bow. Almost as if he was stage acting doing his final bow to the audience. When he stood back up, he puts his hands into the pockets of his jacket and leaned on his back leg more. Almost as if any sudden movements happen, he would be ready.
"I myself? I am The Puppeteer, the one and only. Now might I ask who are you? The look in your eye when you were going to crush the life out of that man was marvelous. So you, of course, are no longer a normal human. You are different, in a special way. And I like it."
Her narcissism whispered in her ear, telling her that she liked him and that he was a friend while her anxiety and paranoia told her that he was a foe. She shook all thoughts out of her head, looking at this from a logical standpoint. He did not seem to be intent on attacking her, and she was sure that if he was he would have already done it. And if he tried anything she determined that she would slit his throat. If she could. She wasn't sure about that. Either way, he didn't seem like a threat to her. She gave a small curtsy, a smile on her face behind her mask.Â
"I'm Imani. And I'm glad that you like me because I'm sure if you wanted you could kill me." Â She turned away from him, her heels clicking rhythmically as she walked away from him. One, two, three and then pause. One, two three and then pause. No more, no less. She looked over her shoulder and called out to him as she walked to her destination.Â
"I hope to see you again, and  next time it will not be cold or on a bridge with a new corpse swimming in the river." With that, the woman headed to go slit a businessman's throat and feed the growing hunger inside of her."I bid you adieu my fair lady! Enjoy yourself!" With that Puppet went back to being a ghost, unseen and unheard by the masses. Into the forest, he goes, deeper and deeper to find his way back to the Domain.
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That alien au is fantastic! it's so great and I want to know more of the plot
ldgblgb youâre assuming there is a plot and not, like, a series of bad excuses but thank you
anyway hereâs the chatlog where we came up with it, warning for some nsfw and @yavieriel and i being nerds at length ^_^
simaethae: so whatâs YOUR worst modern AU
[20:07] simaethae: i think iâve read coffeeshop AUs in otherfandoms which talked about baking, which was their one redeeming feature
[20:10] Yavieriel: Coffeeshop AUs do have that redeemingfuture
[20:10] Yavieriel: (well, sometimes)
[20:10] simaethae: occasionally!
[20:10] Yavieriel: man thereâs so many awful modern AUs tochoose from
[20:10] simaethae: oooh, sports AU. i know nothing aboutsports but iâm sure they have to exist
[20:12] Yavieriel: Iâm not sure if it still counts as amodern AU, but for most what-the-fuck fandom trends, âthe characters aremerpeople who are kept in captivity and forced to breed to produce mer-caviar,which is considered a culinary delicacyâ has to win some kind of prize
[20:12] simaethae: oh my god
[20:12] Yavieriel: Iâm trying to think how that would evenwork with Sauron and Tyelpe
[20:12] Yavieriel: suddenly Sauron is a lot moresympathetic?
[20:13] simaethae: i mean i would not exactly be AGAINSTsome xeno dubcon but the problem with AUs for the Silm is that without thecontext itâs really hard to get the characterisation remotely similar?
[20:13] Yavieriel: right, I was trying to think of some kindof.. parallels and
[20:13] Yavieriel: it very quickly turns into a completelydifferent dynamic
[20:14] simaethae: âŠ.Sauron as the unethical scientistexperimenting on mer-Tyelpe. sexy bad experimentation. but that makesTyelpeâŠ. kind of boringly passive?
[20:14] Yavieriel: Sauron as a traitor mer whoâs beenselling other mers into captivity, maybe?
[20:14] simaethae: lmao
[20:15] simaethae: i still feel like that would be kind of adifferent dynamic tho
[20:15] Yavieriel: man one of the things that was reallystriking in the Strife of Truth with Art was how similar Sauron and Celebrimborstart sounding once you summarize too much and lose the context/details
[20:15] simaethae: bc External Threat?
[20:16] simaethae: yeah!!
[20:16] simaethae: i commented on how all the âwhobetrayed whomâ and âwho stole knowledge/rings from whomâ stuffwas getting super confused
[20:17] simaethae: which makes sense! especially when itâsbeen filtered through humans whoâve also been getting Sauronâs side of thestory
[20:17] Yavieriel: otoh in less-weird modern AUs, I feellike some kind of holiday-retail employment setting would be the meanest/mostinsulting to the characters
[20:17] simaethae: ahaha omg
[20:17] simaethae: but Sauron as the worldâs worst managerwould be great. especially because he thinks heâs the best and has theflowcharts to prove it
[20:17] Yavieriel: at least in high school thereâs the weirdsocial stuff where Sauron and/or Celebrimbor can have extravagant degrees ofinfluence over others
[20:18] Yavieriel: oh lord, yeah Sauron would be
[20:19] Yavieriel: although then I feel like Tyelpe has tobe, like, the other manager? Â Or hisboss? Â Everyone is baffled why theirgenuinely good boss decided to hire this asshole and thinks heâs so great
[20:19] simaethae: Tyelpe does a work placement with AngbandLLP, accidentally invents a way to improve [productivity metric] by 80%inbetween Sauron trying to do the good corporate mentor thing which, uh, doesnot exactly /not/ look like sexual harassment but Tyelpe isnât sure he. minds?
[20:19] Yavieriel: [snorts]
[20:20] simaethae: itâs still not exactly getting theEregion dynamic tho is it
[20:20] Yavieriel: âis it sexual harassment if youâreinto it?â Â "yes, but for thepeople around you instead"
[20:20] simaethae: lol yep
[20:20] Yavieriel: no, theyâd need to be likeâŠTony-Stark-type genius inventor CEOs and Annatar is in disguise doing corporateespionage
[20:21] simaethae: oooh, yep
[20:22] simaethae: Tyelpeâs the Stark-type CEO and Annataris his terrifying PA, popular rumour has it that theyâre sleeping together,Annatar started the rumour out of sexual frustration
[20:22] Yavieriel: the degree of influence and independenceand power they both have is just too high to really translate into being anysort of average person
[20:22] Yavieriel: [chokes]
[20:22] Yavieriel: does Tyelpe even notice that everyonethinks theyâre sleeping together?
[20:23] Yavieriel: Annatar as secretly-evil!Pepper Potts,flame powers and all
[20:23] simaethae: yeah also realistically Annatar - doesnâtwork for me very well as a human? because the bullshit he pulls is interestingif heâs a powerful alien who doesnât get it, but would just be ordinarilyboring and shitty from a human :/
[20:23] simaethae: YEAH
[20:23] Yavieriel: right, if heâs human itâs just regularassholish-ness
[20:23] Yavieriel: shapeshifting alien Annatar?
[20:23] simaethae: âŠhow would âsecretly evilâeven look in Marvel, all their governments are dying to be dictatorships anyway
[20:23] simaethae: yeah!!
[20:24] simaethae: i think you fixed it
[20:24] Yavieriel: if you go with an actual comic-book-typesetting thatâs totally within bounds of plausible/normal
[20:24] simaethae: i think iâve actually read fic along/vaguely/ similar lines involving Tony Stark and Loki, tho i might just befree-associating
[20:25] Yavieriel: keep the industrial espionage angleexcept Annatar was formerly like, Dr. Doomâs chief henchman? Â Only he decided Tyelpe makes a much betterboss so Doom can go fuck himslef
[20:25] simaethae: shapeshifting evil alien Annatar decidesto work his way into a position of trust with Tyelpe, powerful CEO doing cleanenergy stuff, to get access to world leaders and work out how to work thesystem in advance of his bid for power
[20:25] Yavieriel: no I think I have too
[20:26] Yavieriel: or possibly weâre both free-associatingLiseâs Steve/Loki series + all the Tony/Loki fic out there
[20:27] simaethae: Annatar is unavoidably distracted fromworld conquest because a) he kind of likes running a multinational company,itâs genuinely well-suited to his talents, and b) significant amounts of timewondering why Tyelperinquar wonât take the hint and importune his assistantalready
[20:27] simaethae: i think i actually still have thatbookmarked to read? but yeah
[20:28] Yavieriel: right, canât Tyelpe at least be immoralenough to take some of the really blatant cues Annatar has been giving him
[âŠ]
[20:44] simaethae: yeah, i was going to say Annatar would bereally great at running a big company, albeit partly by terrorising otherpeople into doing a good job and relentless delight in bureaucracy, so heâsaccidentally damaged his prospects by making Tyelpe terrified heâll quit
[20:44] Yavieriel: right, that time Annatar was running hishands of Tyelpeâs latest prototype and super into Tyelpeâs explanation of[obscure technical aspect of it] was honestly the closest he got to actuallypersuading Tyelpe to make a move
[20:44] simaethae: Tyelpe really likes being able to trustsomeone else to do the paperwork! what if he hits on Annatar and Annatarresigns and then he has to go back to filling in Form 33.C in triplicatehimself again!
[20:45] simaethae: :D Tyelpe is uncomfortably aware that hisfantasies about Annatar touching his engineering work are getting kind ofinappropriate
[20:45] Yavieriel: spend all that time actually managing hiscompany instead of inventing stuff and letting Annatar handle thelogistics? Â The horror
[20:46] Yavieriel: (the potential for incredibly high-techbdsm sex toys in this scenario :smile: :smile: :D)
[20:46] simaethae: everyone else assumes theyâre definitelyfucking and Tyelpeâs protests about how he would Never Do That are just areputation thing
[20:46] simaethae: (ohh, yes, excellent point!!)
[20:48] Yavieriel: people would be more concerned about thisin the general âunethical behavior from my employerâ way except thatTyelpe has never even hinted at interest in anyone else, so everyone sort ofshrugs at it
[20:49] simaethae: also people who have actually met Annatartend to form a pretty accurate opinion of who would REALLY be more likely tosexually exploit who >_>
[20:49] Yavieriel: RIGHT
[20:49] Yavieriel: the handful of people who have consideredbringing this up with Annatar very quickly end up disabused of the notion thatAnnatar is being coerced in any way
[20:50] Yavieriel: if anyoneâs getting coerced itâs them,they will be very happy to never be in the same room with Annatar again, thankyou
[20:51] Yavieriel: (obviously none of them had actually metAnnatar before, beyond possibly a polite handshake)
[20:51] simaethae: âŠ.probably slightly more worried aboutTyelpe tho! Galadriel is one of the few people to be mostly sure theyâre reallynot fucking, but it took some really embarrassingly conversations with Tyelpeto get there
[20:51] simaethae: yeah, or not in more than smileycorporate assistant persona :>
[20:53] Yavieriel: Galadriel is actually sure theyâre notfucking and not entirely sure how she should feel about this, because on theone hand Annatar seems like a terrible choice, but on the other hand⊠Tyelpedoes need someone to take care of him, actually seems rather attached toAnnatar, and Annatar bizarrely enough seems to have some genuine feeling forTyelpe?
[20:53] simaethae: presumably it actually works out onceEvil Shapeshifting Alien invasion happens and Annatar changes sides orsomething because this was Not The Plan, heâs increasingly unsure what the planwas but it was Not This, but with some dramatic interludes in which no oneincluding Annatar is completely sure which side heâs on
[20:53] Yavieriel: why couldnât her favorite cousin havebetter taste, she asks
[20:53] simaethae: yeah, Galadriel canât stand Annatar butTyelpe seemsâŠ. happier?
[20:54] Yavieriel: right, like heâs definitely not on TeamSave The World, but he is on Team How Dare You Make My Boyfriend Unhappy andThreaten My Corporate Empire
[20:55] simaethae: or at least, happier when heâs aroundAnnatar, he gets this wistful look somtimes and she grits her teeth and tellsherself that bastard had better look after her cousin
[20:55] simaethae: yeah!
[20:55] simaethae: team How Dare You Touch Whatâs Mine :)
[20:56] simaethae: Annatar eventually gets fired, mayberehired, but also finally laid in the space of about an hour
[20:56] Yavieriel: tbh I think I read something like thatwith Superman and Lex Luthor, where Luthor ends up using his powers for goodbecause no one else is allowed to kill Superman and destroy Earth, how darethey
[20:56] simaethae: didnât astolat maybe write some stuffalong those lines?
[20:56] Yavieriel: very probably
[20:57] Yavieriel: that would explain why I was reading it,usually Iâm strictly team Superman/Batman
[20:57] simaethae: (so if Annatarâs actually a shapeshiftingalien I assume Tyelpe is. curious about the biology involved. he doesnât wantto make Annatar feel as if Tyelpeâs not into his real form - if he has a realform, obviously this is purely in a spirit of scientific enquiry - )
[20:58] Yavieriel: yesssss
[20:59] Yavieriel: possibly there are tentacles involved:heart:
[21:03] Yavieriel: but definitely Weird Alien Biology,Tyelpe is very into this, Annatar finds it all fascinating and they mutuallyfind it really sexy when Annatar shows off his assorted alien features toTyelpe
[21:03] simaethae: yeah!
[21:04] simaethae: also Annatar being kind of - genuinelymoved by how into him Tyelpe is
[21:05] simaethae: turns out Tyelpe actually likes Annatarfor himself even when he forgets to constantly fake a more amenable persona??
[21:05] Yavieriel: right, and being surprised how much itmatters to him that Tyelpe does care about his not-human aspects
[21:05] simaethae: yesssss
[21:05] simaethae: Annatar wouldnât have expected himself tocare!
[21:06] Yavieriel: right! Heâs a shapeshifter by nature, it shouldnât matter which form[s] hislover is attracted to theyâre all his technically
[21:06] Yavieriel: but. Tyelpe is just into him, as a person, regardless
[21:06] simaethae: probably they go through kind of a weirdphase where Annatarâs like âso what would you like me to look liketonightâ before they both work out thatâsâŠ. not really doing it foreither of them
[21:07] simaethae: (well, for Annatar maybe a /little/, but)
[21:07] Yavieriel: maybe Annatarâs native species is somekind of hyper-evolved octopus
[21:07] simaethae: âŠ.i mean on the one hand excuse fortentacles, but on the other hand cephalopods ARE really good at camouflage??
[21:08] Yavieriel: it does a little for Annatar but he sortof realizes that itâs more âletting Tyelpe decide what he looks like/setrulesâ than the shapeshifting per se
[21:08] Yavieriel: right, like I was trying to think of whatwould be a good shapeshifty-species and also a native form thatâs still atleast sorta appealing by human standards?
[21:10] Yavieriel: Annatar as something sort of like thishttps://i.pinimg.com/736x/83/61/49/836149daf9187173d766a3076eb762f9âoctopus-mermaid-a-mermaid.jpg
[21:10] Yavieriel: but with golden hair-tentacles
[21:10] simaethae: YEAH
[21:10] simaethae: sharp teeth :)
[21:11] Yavieriel: and like, extrasensory stuff going on viaidk, telepathic tentacles or something?
[21:11] Yavieriel: RIGHT
[21:11] simaethae: some sort of electromagnetic ESP stuff?
[21:12] simaethae: because iâm p sure some fish can actuallydo that, idk about cephalopods but it wouldnât surprise me
[21:12] Yavieriel:https://i.pinimg.com/736x/dd/6a/9b/dd6a9b56efa1308938dd8f9eee4cc4a4âelf-warrior-fantasy-warrior.jpgooooh, there we go, the hair-tentacles like I was thinking
[21:13] Yavieriel: yeah, and also now Tyelpe knows whyAnnatar always had perfect hair
[21:13] simaethae: NICE
[21:14] simaethae: also Annatar getting turned on by Tyelpebeing an alien to /him/?
[21:15] Yavieriel: Annatarâs native form isnât actually verywell adapted for surviving on land, but they have a great deal of fun figuringout a sort of hybrid state thatâs a bit more humanoid and handles being on land(or at least, in bed) better
[21:15] simaethae: (âyour spinal vertebrae are in thesame place /all the time/?â âyes, uh, please donât try to rearrangethem - â)
[21:16] Yavieriel: the oxygen-deprivation can be fun, buttheyâd rather not have to work around it every time they feel like getting thetentacles out
[21:17] simaethae: yeah, and also presumably Annatarwouldnât actually be super comfortable in unsalted chlorinated water withoutany adaptations, so the bath wouldnât be a great solution
[21:18] Yavieriel: right, like, sure Tyelpe can afford tohave a large saltwater tank installed but that has itâs own disadvantages, andAnnatar really enjoys the more decadent lifestyle possible when everythingisnât underwater
[21:18] simaethae: âŠTyelpe kind of pausing and blushingwhen Annatar gets comfortable enough to start, like, picking things up with hishair :)
[21:18] Yavieriel: yesss
[21:19] simaethae: yeah, or at least when the localtechnology isnât well-adapted for underwater and your boyfriend canât breathewithout air
[21:19] Yavieriel: also really fascinated by the variousneurotoxins and whatnot that Annatar is capable of producing
[21:19] Yavieriel: that too
[21:20] Yavieriel: hypothermia tends to be an issue as well
[21:20] simaethae: oooh, accidents with chemicals
[21:21] Yavieriel: Annatarâs completely resistant to allsorts of chemicals that are poisonous to humans, but turns out [totally commonhuman food] is a potent aphrodisiac for his species
[21:21] simaethae: Annatarâs species totally produce a wholerange of neurochemicals for reproduction/bonding with a mate and theyâre notâŠtotally incompatible with human physiology, although itâs a slightlydistressing interval before Tyelpe reassures him this is the GOOD kind of pupildilation
[21:21] Yavieriel: oooh, yes
[21:22] simaethae: or gets him drunk! :)
[21:22] simaethae: that one time Annatar walked out of ameeting where they had [snacks with ingredient in] now suddenly makes a lotmore sense
[21:23] Yavieriel: right! And another common food is extremely poisonous and thereâs a ratherworrying incident where Tyelpe has to desperately hope that his understandingof alien biology is sufficient for him to appropriately treat it
[21:24] Yavieriel: also, Annatar now has an entirely newrange of options for terrorizing his subordinates
[21:24] simaethae: mm, and/or Annatar being like âdonâtworry, Iâm used to dealing with toxic chemicals, let me just do some quickinternal surgeryâ while Tyelpeâs like âwhatâ
[21:25] simaethae: (i kind of think Annatar would be veryneedy and demand to have his brow mopped in response to minor injuries butdisturbingly blase about more major ones)
[21:26] Yavieriel: true, Annatar basically reaching in andrearranging his own internal organs in a very disturbing fashion
[21:27] Yavieriel: well, I was going for âactually foronce genuinely incapacitatedâ
[21:28] simaethae: aw, yeah. Annatar being like âyouidiot Iâll be fine I just need to - â [drops unconscious] :/
[21:28] Yavieriel: of course possibly Annatar doescavalierly rearrange his own organs and then passes out, all âIâll be fineI just need to sleep this off nowâ but Tyelpe is understandably (andcorrectly) Very Concerned about this
[21:29] simaethae: right, also someone going bonelesslyunconscious when they literally do not have any actual bones is a surprisinglytricky logistical challenge
[21:30] Yavieriel: akldfj;sdk yeah, Tyelpe trying to figureout how the hell to move an unconscious octopus thatâs basically twice the sizeof an adult human once you factor in all the tentacles
[21:32] simaethae: right, and kind of hoping he doesnâttouch anything that triggers a reflexive sting while Annatarâs unconscious>_>
[21:33] simaethae: aslfn wait let me make it worse. Annatartotally does sting on reflex while unconscious, but his body recognises Tyelpeas his mate and decides now is definitely the time to shoot him up witheuphorics
[21:33] Yavieriel: ooooh
[21:33] Yavieriel: yeah that would be extremely not helpful
[21:34] Yavieriel: mmm, and leading in tonot-really-conscious Annatar trying to mate with Tyelpe like heâs another ofthe same species
[21:34] Yavieriel: which
[21:34] simaethae: which doesnât make Tyelpe exactlynot-worried, because getting high isnât the same as not having emotionsanymore, but does make him kind of poorly coordinated and probably prone toending up with both of them half-in the bathtub with Annatar on an improvisedIV line, while Tyelpe gives in and snuggles
[21:34] simaethae: omg
[21:35] Yavieriel: Does Not Work, but in ways that areâŠdecidedly interesting
[21:37] Yavieriel: Tyelpe snuggling Annatar in the bathtuband waking up to tentacles doing something that is⊠not exactly pleasant butstill rather sexy
[21:38] simaethae: Annatar being groggily affectionatebecause mate! here! everything is correct and good! while Tyelpe is kind ofworried heâs taking advantage of Annatar in an altered state of consciousnessbut also a) that feels really good if extremely weird and b) itâs a good jobTyelpeâs into this because Annatarâs pretty determined to snuggle >_>
[21:38] Yavieriel: yessss
[21:39] simaethae: right, heâs kind of worried this is goingto end with eggs being laid in /someone/ but not enough to actually stop :)
[21:40] Yavieriel: warm salt-water because Tyelpe did havethe foresight to put together an emergency kit of sorts to make the bathwatermore appropriate for Annatarâs natural state, but thatâs also encouraging, ah,mating behavior
[21:40] simaethae: yep!!
[21:40] Yavieriel: la;dkfjs;lkafj YES >.>
[21:41] simaethae: Annatarâs biology being like, âah,clearly this is a warm tidal rock-pool, the perfect place to spawnâ>_>
[21:41] Yavieriel: heâs pretty sure the thought ofegg-laying shouldnât be turning him on either but he did decide to bang anoctopus-alien, soooo
[21:41] simaethae: alfgblgn
[21:43] Yavieriel:https://thattoychick.wordpress.com/2014/07/12/weird-sex-toys-o-the-week-the-what-dildo-edition/it is a thing
[21:43] simaethae: Annatarâs been great about exploringhuman sex, Tyelpe doesnât want to make him feel as if his natural behaviour isunwelcome! Tyelpe can totally try out whatever Annatarâs into for once! no,really. heâs ready to explore this any time now
[21:44] Yavieriel: hilariously I once ran across someoneusing one of those to do jello shots, because you make the âeggsâ outof gelatin
[21:44] simaethae: oh my god
[21:44] simaethae: what do you know you really can findeverything on the internet
[21:45] Yavieriel: you can! Itâs amazing
[21:48] Yavieriel: [sighs]
[21:48] Yavieriel: alright, itâs quarter to five, and if Iwant to finish sweeping the driveway before it gets dark, I need to go do that
[21:49] simaethae: yeah iâm getting sleepy again
[21:49] Yavieriel: go sleep, thatâs important if youâregoing to feel better
[21:49] simaethae: good luck with the driveway in that case!iâm glad we managed to get from âreally bad modern AUsâ tooviposition kink in a single conversation :>
#in case anyone thought i was a classy person: no#no i am not#silvergifting#xeno#long conversations across different timezones <3#i should note this was before either of us had seen the shape of water!#so really there's no excuse >_>#replies
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Argentina Football World Cup: Lionel Messi remains Argentinaâs best hope of glory even in his twilight
The ball hail from Lionel Messi in midfield. He returns it with a sneering flick of the foot that says: I canât do whatever with this. I donât want it. Take it back. And then he moans and walks off in the opposite direction. Amazed, and a little confused, Guido RodrĂguez gathers the ball and looks around for somebody else to permit it to.
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Maybe itâs because Messi gives so rare interviews and ascents to say so petitely in the interviews he gives that over time you start to mislead yourself, in a weird anthropomorphic way that you can sight some sort of profound human insight in his football.
That on some level, his actions in an arena are his way of talking to us. That inept pass was a form of oblique protest towards the Barcelona board over his continuing contract stand-off. That fist-pump celebration was an act of unity with striking Rosario dock workers. That bid through ball is his way of expressing to us that life is valuable but hope is flakey.
All drivel; probably. And however by the same token, if youâre annoying to read footballers you could do a lot worse than to start with Messi. Even at his advanced age, is there a more virtuously expressive footballer in the world right now? A footballer with a richer or more diverse vocabulary? Possibly itâs no shock that when you can perform something to the expertise and density of language, a lot of people will confuse it with talking.
Even by his values, Messi has been enjoying a particularly dramatic so far. Just a week into the tournament, we have already seen a beautiful free-kick from distance in Argentinaâs draw against Chile, a vital assist for RodrĂguez in the 1-0 win over Uruguay. In addition to which there have been lots of wounded looks, lots of mini-tantrums, lots of maddened pointing to teammates as if to say: There. Thatâs where I want the ball. That advert. Itâs modest. You bend it over the defender, with the cords, just a little backspin, and never mind, Iâll get it myself.
Itâs important to note that this even this livelier, visible Messi is still a nosily remote figure: surely when you compare him to many of his generations. One of the striking aspects of the current international scene is the number of teams that are built around the charismatic energy of a single legendary player. To know more about Qatar World Cup Hospitality Click here.
There is almost cartoonish valor in the way Robert Lewandowski charges around the pitch for Poland, trying to raise his Championship-level teammates through pure force of will. You see it too with Wales and Gareth Bale, even to a smaller extent with Cristiano Ronaldoâs Portugal. Itâs a team game, of course. But also, it sort of isnât.
Messi, for his part, has never really needed this sort of role for himself. Even in his ultimate years, he would caution against the dangers of molding a whole team around a single player. Now, you can see it in the way he angrily returns the ball when he doesnât want it, the way he devotes large parts of a game actively trying to vanish: sliding from view, biding his time, protective his vigor. And yet often Argentina will go through periods where they keep passing the ball to Messi and keep getting it back, an argument that seems to tell the whole story of modern Argentinian football in a transitory moment.
This week Messi goes 34. Next week, fitness allowing, he will win his 148th cap and break Javier Mascheranoâs record, despite twice announcing his departure and then changing his mind. He remains as inspiring a player as he ever was, but itâs gradually clear these days that he canât do it all, even if he wanted to. This is his 11th tilt at winning a major international tournament, and there are still people out there who will tell you that until he succeeds his vastness will remain somehow incomplete.
Never mind the detail that Messi would have won a Football World Cup and two Copa Americas by now if Gonzalo Higuain knew how to adapt an open goal. On some level, the ongoing pursuit for an international trophy speaks to wider existential angst in Argentinian football, one that sees in Messiâs advancing age not only his marking clock but the nations as a whole.
Most of the golden cohort of the 2010s have now either defunct the scene or are in mild decline. In the meantime, the abundant tube of talent that once flowed from Argentina to the biggest clubs in Europe has run worryingly dry. Only five Argentinians aged 25 or under are contained in this seasonâs Champions League.
Only one Cristian Romero at Atlanta made it as far as the last-16. And though there is still plenty of probable in the likes of Lautaro MartĂnez, Ăngel Correa, Giovani Lo Celso, if youâre an Argentina fan right now itâs hard not to marvel whether when Messi finally leaves, he takes your best gamble of glory with him.
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more than just a rumor
Camila is scared. Their head chambermaid is getting her fix with her again by giving her the most difficult task for the day. Sheâs just clocked in when Perrie came walking in on her and gave her the red box. It would have been great if it was for her, but no. Upon learning who that is for, Camila concluded Perrie might have as well given her Pandoraâs box itself.
Now, sheâs contemplating if she should go on and knock on room 727 and announce her presence, or bail out and foget about her job altogether. Itâs tiring and Perrie is a pain in the ass anyway. But as the seconds pass by and she thinks more deeply about it, she knows she canât. As much as she hates her job, she needs the money it provides for herself, her mother, and her little sister.
She raps on the door a couple of times before calling out loudly, âRoom service!â
She hears a muffled voice say come in so she swipes her card before entering. Upon getting past the threshold, her heartrate beats faster and she feels her hands get clammy. She loves celebrities. She loves following their colorful lifestyles and marvel on how they live such fanciful lives. She likes daydreaming getting close to one just so she could experience how it feels like even just for a day. But when sheâs doing all that, the name Lauren Jauregui is far from her mind. She wants the carefree, easy-going celebs like Chris Martin, Jennifer Lawrence or Emma Stone. Absolutely not the one sheâll be handing the box to in a few seconds. The literal bad-ass, get-out -of-my-face, I-know-Iâm-famous-but-donât-bother-to-get-in-my-business-or-Iâll-give-you-a-taste-of-my-fist kind of celebrity. Sure, sheâs multi-talented. She writes her own songs, has won four Grammies for it, and on her debut acting stint she was nominated for an Oscar. Talent-wise, Camila admits she is impressed. But as a human? All those news reports and videos of her pommeling the paparazzis and that one time she left a man in the club bloodied and bruised just donât sit well with Camila.
She walks through the entrance to the living room of the posh suite. Of course, they gave her one of the best rooms.
âPut that right there,â Camila hears Laurenâs voice say. Sheâs heard it on TV and of course on the radio many times but it still surprisingly flows in her ears smoothly, giving her a pleasant feeling, like Laurenâs voice is already music itself.
Camila notices Lauren is also pointing to the small table in the middle of the sofa set so she walks over to the furniture and places the red box on top of it. Itâs her custom to stand in the side for a few seconds first before leaving to make sure the guests get all they need and thatâs what she does.
âIs there anything else I can get you, Miss?â She asks.
Itâs then that Lauren looks at her intently for the first time. The popstar is comfortably seated on the couch, black tights-clad legs propped on top of the table where Camila put the box, black ankle-length boots still on her feet, black leather jacket worn over her red crop top, loosely hanging on her left shoulder.
Camila is familiar with her eyes. Aside from her beautiful Cuban heritage, Lauren is also known for her captivating green ones. Yet as she sees them in real life for the first time, Camila is assaulted by how piercing they are. Like they can cut through her soul with just a simple look.
She clears her throat to dispel the nervousness that intensifies the longer the time she spends within the popstarâs vicinity.
Camila watches as Lauren takes her eyes off her to look at whatâs inside the box and sees her perfectly-shaped brows furrow in what seem like annoyance.
âThis is not what I asked for.â Lauren states directly, putting the box back to its previous location. âHe gave me green, I told your manager to get me a black.â
At that, Camilaâs nerves go full force and she scrambles to get the stuff from the furniture. âUhm, Iâll tell that to him and bring the right one after.â
âDo that. And hurry, Iâm leaving in two hours.â
She almost runs outside towards the elevator. It doesnât help that when the doors open, her workmate, Dinah, thinks itâs a wonderful idea to scare the heck out of her as she is walking inside, not seeing there is another person on the lift.
âAlways jumpy, Chanch,â Dinah teases her, laughing.
âNot right now please, Dinah.â She presses the button to the ground floor, anxious to get this thing over with.
The Polynesian seems to sense thereâs something off with her and asks concernedly, âWhatâs wrong? Another rude guest?â
âNo, she hasnât been rude. But sheâs Lauren Jauregui.â
Dinahâs mouth form a huge O shape upon hearing the name. âThe Lauren Jauregui? Sheâs here? I want to meet her.â
Camila looks to her friend, getting an idea but easily dismisses it knowing she might get in trouble with Perrie if she goes through with it. She groans. âWhy was I at the wrong place at the wrong time?â
She wishes it wasnât her that was given the task.
âWhy are you so nervous?â Dinah asks. âLike youâre so afraid of her.â
âBecause I am. You know how I can be with celebrities who go here. I get all starstruck and nervous around them. To think that most of them were nice. But Lauren, we all know her reputation.â Camila is now wringing her hands.
âRelax, Walz. Itâs just TV gossip. Maybe theyâre not true. Just do your job right, if she appreciates it, good. But if she still has a problem with it, then itâs not your fault.â
The door opens to Dinahâs floor and Camila is left to her own thoughts again. When the bell dings signalling sheâs on the ground floor, she immediately heads out to the managerâs office. If it was any other guests, Camila knows the hotel will not go out of their way to cater the popstarâs wishes but since one of the major owners also happens to own the production company that brings international singers to Mexico, the one responsible for bringing Lauren in her country, they have no other choice.
One look from the manager, Camila knows she doesnât have to say anything to explain her presence there.
âWhat does she want?â Troy, who is sitting behind his desk in his impeccable suit, doesnât look his usual calm and collected self. âSheâs living up to all those diva rumors.â
âShe said she asked for a black and you gave her green.â
âWhat?! No. Her assistant just said to get her a swimsuit and I gave her a swimsuit.â
Camilaâs eyes widen at the mention of the item. Thatâs what all the fuss is all about?
âFuck if she wasnât a VIP, I wonât bother doing all that.â Troy reaches out to the phone on his table and dials. âHi, Ally. Honey, can you get me a black one of the swimsuit you brought here earlier?⊠Yes, that one⊠No, wrong item⊠Awesome, thank you.â
Ally arrives with the item in hand a little later, a consoling smile on her lips. âItâs just a couple of days. Iâm sure you will all be fine.â
Camila just gives her a small smile, hoping very hard that what Ally said will be true. Troy, on the other hand, isnât so optimistic and scoffs. âI donât get why all those teenagers are so gaga over her.â
Correct item in hand, Camila retraces her steps to Laurenâs room, the same dread never leaving her insides.
She knocks on the door once again, hearing the same, â Come inâ reply before swiping her card and entering the suite.
This time, Lauren is standing facing the majestic ocean view from the glass wall, her jacket discarded, looking glorious in just her crop top, showing off her lean abs.
The popstar turns towards her upon sensing her approach and gives Camila the same intense stare she gave the chambermaid earlier. Camila canât help but feel Lauren is doing it because she is studying her which doesnât help her nervousness one bit.
The brunette reaches out the hand that is holding the new item. âHereâs your package.â
Lauren takes it from her, immediately opening it and inspecting whatâs inside. Camila sees her face seem to contemplate for a second then turning into a frown not very different from earlier. âItâs not the design that I want.â
Underneath her anxiousness, Camila thinks sheâs observed enough to come up with the conclusion that the popstar is one crazy, spoiled bitch. She stands a little further away as Lauren makes a phone call, eyes turned away, ears tuned out from the conversation, waiting for the celebrity to dismiss her.
A minute passes and Lauren is grabbing her purse from the coffee table and making her way towards the door, her raspy voice trailing behind her. âCome with me.â
It takes a second before Camila processes what she heard and she scrambles to keep pace with the popstar, her mind coming up with various reasons why the famous lady wants her to come with her, none of which bids well for her job.
They enter the elevator, Camila expecting Lauren to barge into their managerâs office with tons of complaints that will cost the brunette her job, so she is surprised that instead of there, the raven-haired leads the way to the main entrance and into the waiting red SUV.
The car traverses the familiar road to the nearest mall and pulls up on the parking lot, making Camila even more confused. Not long after, she finds herself inside a famous lingerie store, the popstar walking purposefully toward the swimsuit stands. Camila, unsure of the reason sheâs there right in that moment, initially stands beside the two bodyguards who accompanies the celebrity until Lauren turns back and calls âchamberwomanâ, prodding her to approach the raven-haired, certain that she is the one sheâs referring to.
Lauren picks up three swimsuits from the rack: a red one-piece that shows off the back down to the waistline, only two thin laces criss-crossing from left to right and vice versa joining the front and back together; a simple sheer red two-piece; and a black one-piece that looks a lot like the red one but more modest in comparison, the laces on the back thick and criss-crossed in a way that shields most of the skin from the eyes.
The popstar holds each of them up for Camila. âDo these look good?â
Caught off guard by the fact that Lauren is asking for her opinion, it takes a few seconds for Camila to nod and find her voice, âYes. They all look sexy.â
Seemingly satisfied with her answer, Lauren moves toward the fitting room, looking back once to Camila to make sure sheâs following, which the brunette obliges. There, Lauren quickly disappears into the vacant stall while Camila waits infront.
The brown-eyed lady is letting her sight wander around the tiny parameter when the door is pulled open, Laurenâs raspy voice calling out a âHey,â and Camila turns to look at the source of the sound.
Now, Camila admits sheâs done her fair share of ogling at beautiful girls, all done secretly, of course, when sheâs sure no one else notices her, for fear of looking like a maniac but it will be a total understatement if sheâd describe herself as completely astounded. Lauren, in her music videos looks fire, but Lauren, in person, is devil himself incarnate when it comes to hotness specially now that sheâs wearing an equally hot swimsuit.
It must have taken too long for Camila to respond to Laurenâs question if the garment fits well on her body because for the first time that day, she sees Laurenâs eyes twinkle in what seems like a ghost of a smile about to come out from her face. Before she can answer, Lauren is already closing the door again, saying. âNever mind. I know what that look means.â
Camila feels her face blush at that and reprimands herself internally. The second time the door opens and she sees Lauren wearing the red two-piece, she is able to control her gaping and manages to send a compliment to the popstarâs way. Sheâs also ready when the third time the door opens but disappointingly sees Lauren back to wearing her crop top and pants.
âYou do swim, right?â Lauren asks her.
Surprised by the question, Camila just nods.
âHere,â Lauren hands her the black swimsuit. âTry this on.â
Camila grabs it without a word, not risking to ask why and goes into the stall that the celebrity previously occupied.
Once sheâs done putting it on, she inspects herself in the mirror infront of her. The garment hugs her curves perfectly. Itâs the exact type she will have bought for herself has she had the luxury of rest and not spending most of her time exhausting herself from too much work.
âHow does it look?â She hears Lauren ask from outside. At that, Camila suddenly feels self-conscious but she remembers what the popstar did just moments ago and goes to open the door of the stall.
Camila doesnât know the quirks that Lauren has but she swears itâs interest she sees from the green eyes once she shows the raven-haired her swimsuit-clad body. For an instant she feels as beautiful and as attractive as the supermodels the celebrity is known to date.
Lauren gives Camila the same intense stare that the brunette is quickly getting used to. She waits for the popstar to say anything but itâs taking too long, making her nerves go back but then the raven-haired lets out a small cough Camila has to bite her lip to stop the grin thatâs threatening to come out. Mirroring what the celebrity did earlier, she doesnât wait any further for a comment but prevents herself from giving a teasing remark and closes the door once again. Only when sheâs safely locked inside does she let out that unwarranted smile.
They leave the mall right after Lauren purchases all three swimsuits and go back to the SUV. Camila thinks theyâre headed back to the hotel but the car turns to the freeway and exits on a road to a place she knows leads to Mexicoâs finest beaches.
Once again, Camila cannot help but feel nervous. She isnât supposed to be here.
âI told your manager youâll accompany me the entire day.â She hears Lauren say from beside her, making her turn her head from the window to the popstarâs face, her tense feature easing a bit. The celebrityâs body is tilted toward her. âDonât worry, Iâll give you a thousand dollars when the day is done and you did everything I asked you to.â
Camilaâs eyes widen at the huge amount but feels apprehensive and frowns remembering the âwhen you did everything I asked you toâ part.
As if to answer her silent thoughts, she hears Lauren chuckle, for the first time that day. âRelax. Iâm not going to ask you to have sex with me or anything.â
Lauren instructs the driver, whom Camila finds out is named Greg, to pull over by the side of the road. Greg does as heâs told and gets out of the car. Camila watched the guy walk over to where the vehicle that sits the two bodyguards is parked. She hears shuffling from beside her and her eyes widen once again when she sees Lauren changing into the red one-piece swimsuit. She quickly averts her eyes, cheeks blushing. She cannot believe sheâs inside a car while the hot celebrity is getting undressed. Sure, the carâs windows are heavily tinted and sheâs also female but Camila, despite the nervousness she feels around Lauren, has admitted an hour ago sheâs deeply attracted to the woman beside her so it doesnât make the situation any easier.
Lauren chuckles again. âYou can look now.â
Camila is then instructed by the raven-haired to change into her swimsuit, although not as bold as the way the celebrity did earlier. Lauren lends her a robe that is placed in one of the backseats and Camila applies all the techniques sheâs learned through her lifetime to change with the least skin exposure to the green-eyed. Not that Lauren is looking, though. As Camila changes, she can see in her peripheral vision that Lauren is looking straight ahead.
After Camila finishes, putting on the robe over her body the way Lauren did earlier, the celebrity rolls the car window down and calls for her driver.
Not long after and they are on their way to their destination again.
Camila is expecting fine sand meeting blue waters of the sea when the car stops but what she discovers they pulled up in is a high land formation on the distant part of where the beaches are located. Lauren gets out of the car and she follows.
The raven-haired woman walks straight near the edge and looks beyond the vast water. Camila, observing her surroundings sees that the celebrity is now smiling widely, eyes closed momentarily, seeming to inhale the fresh air and simply taking in the rejuvenating view.
The green-eyed beauty then takes off her robe and drops it to the ground beneath. Her smile grows wider and she steps closer to the edge. She turns her head towards Camila and asks, âAre you ready for your first task, Camila?â
The chambermaid is not sure what shocked her more. The fact that this huge celebrity infront of her paid enough attention to her to notice whatâs written on her name tag or that sheâs about to ask her to do the unthinkable. Camila has heard about this spot and how tourists flock here, trying to get as much adrenaline going through the forty-foot drop into the water. Sheâs not afraid of the depth of the ocean per se, sheâs more scared of the churning in her stomach sheâs sure sheâll feel on the way down. Sheâs never been much of a fan of heights.
The driver comes near them and picks up the robe Lauren has discarded and waits expectantly, looking at her. Due to her nervousness, it takes Camila a while to realize he is waiting for her to take hers off, too, and thatâs what she does, handing it over to him immediately after. He walks over back to the car and climbs in. She hears the engine rev a little later and she knows the car is driving away. Probably near the beach to come pick them up when theyâre done jumping. He drives away and Camila looks to the side and sees the other two bodyguards standing nearby. She thinks maybe she can urge Lauren to dive on her own while she stays back.
âItâs gonna be exciting!â She hears Lauren say and sees her smiling a very bright smile and she cannot say no.
âI guess so.â She tries to hide her nervousness from her voice.
âYou wonât regret it.â Lauren says again, still looking at her. âDonât worry. Iâll go first and you can follow after.â
âO-okay.â Camila gulps. She guesses thereâs no backing out now.
The celebrity is still smiling her megawhatt smile when she faces towards the ocean and moves to the very edge. She assumes a diving pose, readying to jump before reminding Camila one again, âYouâll gonna love it. Trust me.â
After Lauren tells her that she jumps. Camila, as nervous as she is, goes to watch her body fall down and land to the ocean and immediately re-emerge, an ecstatic and triumphant shout echoing right after. She takes a deep inhale, hand gesturing a cross from her forehead to her chest and prepares to jump in as well.
âCamila, come on!â Lauren shouts at her happily.
Camila takes another look at the bodyguards and finds them looking ahead serenely. She assures herself that if theyâre as calm as they are, surely nothing wrong is going to happen.
With that in mind, and after muttering a prayer or two, she walks to the edge and jumps, eyes tightly closed. She waits for the nausea she expects will come from the height but it doesnât. What she feels is the water enveloping her just a second or two after she takes the leap, a certain sense of calm overtaking her and she feels at home. Swimming always has that effect on her, draining away the tiredness she feels from too much work as she moves to resurface from under.
Lauren is laughing when she comes up and is able to hear her surroundings again. âFun isnât it?â
Camila smiles as reality sneaks in. She did that. She just jumped from a forty-foot cliff, something she never thought sheâll do in her lifetime. She chuckles as well. âHell, yeah.â
They swim ashore and their driver is already waiting for them. They are brought to a nearby resort, which Camila admits is one of the best sheâs been in.
She notices people greet Lauren warmly. Not the kind thatâs given because sheâs a popular celebrity but what you give when youâve encountered the person before. Her hypothesis is confirmed when a staff greets her with a âGood to see you here again, Miss Jauregui.â
Lauren smiles warmly and replies, âGood to see you again, too, Jade.â
They head to a shower area where they scrub off the salt water from their body in different stalls and come out wearing white robes. Another staff guides them toward a secluded white room with two single-sized beds covered with white linen, the smell of incense loosening Camilaâs tight muscles. Two women are waiting for them, the brunette deduces they are masseuses, judging from their uniforms and the ambiance of the room. She is proven right when they are instructed to lie down on each of the bed.
Camila, not sure if sheâs really getting the same treatment that Lauren is getting, looks to the popstar in confirmation.
Lauren smiles again. âGo ahead. Itâs your second task.â
Camila exhales deeply as she enjoys the invigorating feeling of the masseuseâs hand taking away all the built up pressure on her muscles. She admits that when she first saw Lauren earlier, whatâs happening now is very far from her mind but sheâs never more grateful to be proven wrong. She lets herself enjoy the moment as she lies there facedown, the sound of Laurenâs raspy voice filling the room once in a while as she tries to small talk with their masseuses. Itâs another aspect of Lauren she really didnât expect. The raven-haired is very considerate and friendly with the staff and even remembers their first names, far from what she hears from gossip, and she feels that pleasant feeling again.
âYou can tell her how scared you are of her, you know.â Camila hears Mani say once she and Lauren are done with their massage and are waiting for their lunch to be delivered to their table. As they got out of the room earlier and headed to the restaurant, a dark-skinned woman was waiting at their table and Lauren introduced her as her manager.
âSheâs obviously well aware of her effect on people.â Normani, pushes on, ignoring the glare Camila sees Lauren send her way. âShe likes to act tough but sheâs a softie and you can tell her anything and she wonât hate you for it.â
Camila blushes at what the dark-skinned is saying and about her thoughts about the celebrity earlier. Apparently, itâs one thing to let them freely run through her mind and another to tell them infront of the person.
âI-âŠâ Camila doesnât know whether to answer or not.
Mani releases a heartfelt chuckle. âLauren what did you do to her?â
âShut up.â
The manager just laughs again.
âSheâs very pretty though.â Mani speaks out, as if Camila is not sitting nearby. âNo wonder you brought her here with you.â
âYouâre never coming with me again.â Lauren glares at her friend.
âNo. You love me.â Mani then smirks teasingly towards Camila. âBut since you seem to have found a new friend, maybe youâre not lying.â
Lauren groans while her manager laughs again.
âIâll leave you to it. Donât want to continue third-wheeling.â Mani stands up. âIâll go grab some lunch with my friends over there.â
Camila watches her leave and stays silent. Sheâs not sure how to act after that awkward teasing from the dark-skinned so she just sits there silently.
âDonât mind her. She just likes making fun of me.â Lauren explains to her as a waiter arriver with their food.
Lunch goes very well. Lauren has lots of stories that Camila honestly finds very engrossing and tells her more about the celebrityâs real character without her saying it directly, all the while also asks her stuff about her, making the brunette not feel like the popstar is focusing the entire conversation simply just around herself.
By the end of the day, Camila feels relaxed and has just met a new friend in Lauren. Really. She knows she went there with the raven-haired as a help for whatever it is Lauren wanted help with but the celebrity never really asked her for a chore during the entire day. In contrast, she was just as pampered as the popstar was, she feels itâs a normal day out with a friend instead.
As they sit in the car on their way back to the hotel, Camila sees Laurenâs serene posture never leave. Probably itâs because of the tiredness from touring that made the popstar seem grumpy this morning but right now, thereâs a consistent slight smile on her lips. And Camila canât take her eyes off it. Conversation has already stopped between them, she feels they have gone over what they can tell about each other (as new acquaintances will) and thereâs this comfortable silence between them.
Camila wants to ask her why really brought her to that place, having seen Normani with a lot of people they both obviously knew closely and she really didnât need any assistance from the brunette but she thinks asking that will be crossing boundaries. So she just lets herself bask and be content with the silence.
As they exit the vehicle, Camila, back to her chambermaid dress follows Lauren inside the lobby. She halts when the popstar is walking towards the elevator, knowing she has no more business following her around.
âUhm, Camila.â Lauren calls her. âCan you come up with me to my room?â
She gulps when she feels the nervousness from this morning come back to her but chastises herself. Sheâs not afraid of Lauren anymore. She might have had all those unreasonable prejudices about her before but spending the entire day with the woman has completely altered her perception of her.
She does as Lauren asks and walks inside the suite for the third time that day.
She is led towards the living area and Lauren stays standing up. Camila waits for her to say what she needed her to do but the green-eyed stays mute.
âRight. Your tip.â Seemingly getting out of a trance, Camila hears her say nervously. Or she thinks it sounds nervous but that canât be true because Lauren is one of the most confident persons she has ever met.
She holds out her palm as the popstar is handing her the bill. âNo. Thereâs no need for that. I enjoyed the entire day and itâd be too much if youâll pay me even after all those. And I didnât really do anything for you there.â
âWell, you were good company.â
Camila smiles at that, honest words flowing out of her mouth after the entire enlightening escapade with the celebrity. âI donât believe you. There were a lot of people you know there, you didnât need to get a stranger to be with you.â
âBut I like you, thatâs why.â Lauren murmurs so quietly Camila almost doesnât catch it.
âFuck it. Why am I so nervous?â Lauren then curses, making Camila chuckle.
The brunette walks over to the raven-haired. âHow about this?â
Maybe itâs because of Laurenâs reaction, a sudden burst of courage jolted through Camilaâs system, making her bold enough to say what she does next. âWe end this day with a kiss for a tip.â
The popstar looks at her intensely just as Camila is making the move to back up what she said. A second later, her lips are against the softest lips she felt against her and a pleasant warmth spreads through her body.
Lauren groans and breaks from the kiss. âI hate it when the other girl takes control.â With that, the celebrity takes over their kiss to which Camila lets herself be consumed under and reciprocates with just as much fervor as the raven-haired.
After it ended, Lauren rests her forehead to Camilaâs and asks. âWill you be here tomorrow?â
She smiles. âYes.â
Lauren reciprocates with a smile so sweet Camila is sure sheâll dream about it later that night.
âSee you then.â Lauren murmurs.
âYeah, see you. Have a good night, Miss Jauregui.â And Camila turns to leave the suite wearing the biggest and silliest grin on her face.
*** wattpad: litaddict02
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Sufferance & Sufferation
Ours. All our hours, All our responses.
No human ever taught a soul to lie well. Show me a good lie, I would see only truth. No person ever encouraged another to lie, And not the Cthulu either, mostly armed groups.
Is it OKAY to pay taxes? Whilst it oils which machine? Its pilot is a heckled woman: middle-aged, unnoticed. Its commander is a queen who swore to never lead. Palestinians, mostly, they would say: Donât pay taxes.
And that is all before a marvellous day.
The âplace-where-taxes-goâ, do they still build roads? Hospitals are there, and they did injure me, costlily so. The medicine of that machine... who assesses it? They who say airbombing Syria resembles a civil war Is who assesses it. YOU!! They give you prozac, But, Come take MDMA with me!! Donât work unless you love it. SOMETHING, you will love.
Leave the world of fear, Come be with me, please. Have no other war but love.
Is it OKAY to pay taxes? Do any think? The police broke ranks December 2nd. A brown man was shot, OUCH. So suddenly. The police broke ranks and became military. Martial law, that is, armed police with no authority. And the never-sick psychiatrists, what would they say? What would they say if I screamed: âPlease!! Somebody!! BE CONCERNED THAT THE UKâS POLICE ARE RENEGADEâ
Of course, they have sectioning to deal with that, and they do do it. They have my neighbours to ring them and say: âShe will bombâ. Bomb!! Bomb!! How about if I shoot a brown man so silently? For âsuspicion of conspiracy to rob a cashless Sainsburys van.â
They *do* have sectioning to deal with that and have. Spot the insanity. Who is in charge? We are, my love, and you.
We can.
A gift! I never had a gift, I work, I sacrifice. Nobody ever taught a talent. People see, Say: âWhat a talent landed on the kid!!â Witness!! I said woman, as I practice!!
All are my equals, like Madeleine McCann, Aâishah Galileia, and Helen Keller.
Peace be upon *âthemâ*
Ours. All our hours, With all our responses.
The taxes!! Did you stop that yet? Argh!! Death!! Are they ceased to be concern?! I am so simply being âQueerâ~self-taught. Sense and pretense. Sense and sufferance. Assumption and Assumption and all between.
Three times more likely to be sectioned, the brown man. Eight times more likely to be imprisoned. Itâs like idols are myth Itâs like... perhaps the news ever lied to us all. Itâs like... totaaallllly fine indoors in 3147, this side of Christ. Itâs like... perhaps prisons with no doors may be walked from freely.
And yet the people say: âWe are forced to pay taxes, It is not our plan or say.â Like Pilate, I found him innocent.
Pretend it was a hero who tried: Arthur, valiant knight... âI canât stand homelessness for my good neighbour!! So I will fight!!â and they ignored their own rent to do it. The grey magisters, who will find it just to evict good Arthur, Who will have a trial which begins and ends at high-bidding, Biding accomplices, they *cannot* displace me quicker than a year. A marvellous day: Everyone stop paying rent at once, justly, The land-owners will scramble to the courts, who will be flooded. With no flood, it takes them 11 months to evict little olâ Arthur. Was I looking for a cure for myself, or for this world still debting?
You have seen my plans, perhaps not that how I am young. You have seen what I intend to do, not by fluke, by planning. If I have even a decade to work with, why would I rush this??? I have seen girls of 14 say âlook at me!!â, no, prepare properly.
It is counted against me I could have been well-off as a musician. I am well-off and continue to make music, aye, I do as I do.
I am all people love to claim and do not do!! Of course then my words sound fanciful. I believe in selflessness and practice that.
Between charities, we plead exoneration. I donât believe what you believe in... Perhaps I just needed to accept it, I am fine with it, having said it. All our hours though, they are ours. That is the Age of Accountability, To be lifted from paying taxes.
Elizabeth Windsor, is who is accountable. The state has become tyrannical. One, at least, needed to see so far out to say it. I donât ask anyone else to bear the weight of my imagination, L.A.B. you are all I dream... I have no way to insist, nor ought, I just trust or shut shop, and quite-never feel known or feel trusted.
All our hours though, after sufferance and sufferation. They outnumber the stars, once we are unhurried.
I have shown you what I do when I *attempt* making music I have shown shards of what happens when I *attempt* mathematics, And poetry, no, I do not try anymore. Watch, now, as I *attempt* making money.
And all that is before a marvellous day. 10,000,000 prisoners freed. The voiceless given voices, the deaf to hear. AMAZING what YOU can do,
If you try, didnât Jesus say crying, seek and ye shall find, He said. He implied: it could be YOU up here on this cross, if you persevere.
YOURS, all you hours, all your responses, didnât God mention it? And who said word of otherwise. I do empathise. It doesnât make you right. Sufferance and sufferation.Â
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Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) | Dir. James Gunn
Rating:Â đżđżđżđżđż
In the world of consuming and digesting pop culture, reviewing a film twelve days after its initial release is kind of ridiculous. At this point the film has already sunk its teeth into the cultural psyche, published reviewers have already pressed send on their final drafts, and Film Twitter has already run amuck spoiling plots and stacking arguments against the backdrop of films by Zack Snyder. The flood has come, the ark has boarded, and Noah has sealed the door. The cultural flood certainly passed, but I am not deterred. I was able to see Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 last night and donât give a damn about my insufferable tardiness. This movie is so good and I want to talk about it anyway. If spoilers are not your thing and if like me you havenât seen GotG Vol. 2 yet, donât read anymore (itâs better that way). Otherwise, in the words of the great Peter Quill, aka Star-Lord, âItâs showtime assholes.â
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is directed by James Gunn and stars: Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, and Bradley Cooper (to name a few). The story follows closely behind the exploits of the first âGuardiansâ film, as we find our heroes hired to protect a valuable commodity for an alien race known as the Sovereign. Following a brief fight with an intergalactic monstrosity, the team bids farewell to the Sovereign after collecting their prize and pilots across the galaxy onto their next adventure. After their departure it is discovered that one of their members has stolen from the alien race they have just fought to protect and they are pursued across the galaxy before crash landing on a remote planet. The film then separates our heroes, as Star-Lord, Gamora, and Drax go off to discover the secret origins of Peter Quill and the others (Rocket Raccoon and the âso cute you could dieâ Baby Groot) are left to deal with the deadly Ravagers who are tasked with bringing them back to the Sovereign. The film is over two hours long, but is deliberately paced and exceedingly riveting.
 Guardians 2 is a riot from the opening dance number to the epic boss-battle finale (with video game references to boot). It is understood that one will walk out of a Gunn directed Guardiansâ film with a smile on their face because both films are warm, hearty, and irreverent. There are few moments in this movie that are not designed to make the audience laugh out loud, or respond in a tangible way. I found myself clutching my arm like Dr. Strangelove because I was punching along with Star-Lord during the final fight scene. While I may be an isolated case of idiocy, it is evident in my theaterâs reactions to the on screen antics that Guardians provokes something within its audience. Humor and audience responses have pressed the gas on this blockbuster hit (which is already #2 among domestic box offices), while the character development and thematic elements direct the narrative laudably. The individual moments of characters growth create a sense of solidarity that the viewers are invited into. The film is overwhelming and the themes, reinforced by its narration and characters, resonate deeply.
Letâs hearken back to the days of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1, released in the year of our Lord 2014 (a much simpler time with no threat of Russian domination or pee tapes undermining the White Houseâs integrity). Alas, Vol. 1 was a middle entry into Phase Two of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), a franchise built on the laurels of the Avengers and all of their exploits. Gunn managed to take an underrated comic book property and breathe life into the MCU by offering something more than a team up amongst A-list superheroes. The entire premise of the Guardians of the Galaxy rests on a bunch of assholes (for lack of a better word) with no ulterior connections, teaming up to save a galaxy far, far but not so long away. Vol. 2 resumes this saga of misfits and shows them working together as a cohesive and complementary group. What makes the Guardians more believable than the Avengers is the nature and adherence of the group. They are not drafted by a secret government agency and asked to play nice, but rather thrown together by the random, chaotic nature of the universe, much like the friendships we experience within our own lives. We donât choose our friends, rather they are propelled towards us at such a time, and through chance we cleave to one another. Â Â
When I was ten years old, I became friends with someone because our parents started dating (his mother was dating my dad, and yeah, itâs weird to think about now). At the time I hated this guy because I didnât want a friendship formed by an encroachment upon my parentsâ divorce, and even though that divorce was necessary and an integral part of who I am, the limited scope of my pre-adolescent self refused to get along with him. I befriended another guy because we were both enrolled in a baseball program we didnât want to be in. In an act of teenage rebellion and a case for the unifying collaboration of delinquents, we broke into the press office of the baseball stadium to hijack the coachâs iPod in order to play The Mars Volta over the PA during practice, thus forming a friendship that has lasted many years. These friendships were absolutely random and completely unwarranted, but developed into something meaningful and impactful over time. This is what Vol. 2 establishes, an unlikely team of talented degenerates become buddies, and this camaraderie is solidified into a familial bond through trial. Each character gets under the otherâs skin, but they are resolute in defending one another unto death. The film creates wonderful moments for individual members to reconcile their hangups and to realize their place within the relationship that they have constructed. The understanding of the human inclination towards community is what humanizes this film; the fact that it is able to do so through the lens of sarcastic humor and delightful science fiction is marvelous.
Reaching into the far corners of the Marvel universe to showcase the Guardians of the Galaxy, James Gunn and crew have managed to unearth hidden gems within the MCU formula: character and heart. Â The movie generates warmth, mends the soul with laughter, and considers the dynamics of human relationships. There are those in life we will easily call friend, but there are only a reserved few deserving of the names, brother and sister. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is a captivating film made by competent hands. The story it tells is sure to fascinate and relate to audiences worldwide.
What did you think of GotG Vol. 2? Let me know by commenting, reblogging, or liking this post. Or follow me on Twitter @ andrewwaring.Â
#Marvel#guardians of the galaxy#star lord#rocket raccoon#baby groot#drax the destroyer#gamora#mcu#film#movie review
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Deep Analysis: Watchmen
The best/worst adaptation ever
You canât find a more influential comic book than Watchmen.
Watchmen was a 12 issue comic book limited series released from 1986-1987 that received critical acclaim upon its release. It was the first comic book to be seen by mainstream audiences as a legitimate story which dealt with several serious topics and themes. It wasnât just a silly picture book that you would buy for your kids at the grocery store for a quarter, this was a comic book for adults. Of course, there were other stories that came before Watchmen that also dealt with serious topics like alcoholism, drug abuse, and the clash of political ideologies, but Watchmen was the one that people outside of the comic book community took notice of. To this day, Watchmen ranks as one of Time Magazineâs 100 greatest novels ever made, standing alongside classics like A Clockwork Orange, The Great Gatsby, Animal Farm, and To Kill A Mockingbird.Â
For the comic book community, it, alongside The Dark Knight Returns, ushered in an era of comics where characters became darker, more serious, edgier, and full of 90âsâŠness. Referred to as âThe Dark Age,â this time period was one of the worst periods ever for the comic book industry, culminating in Marvelâs bankruptcy, but none of that was because Watchmen was a bad story. Quite the contrary. Watchmen was so popular that people misunderstood why it was as successful as it was. Many prominent comic book creators believed Watchmen was successful because it was a dark and mature story, so they tried to emulate that style without understanding that the content of Watchmen is what made it so good, not just because it was aimed at adults. Watchmen was good because it was a good story, one that comic book creators still look to for inspiration to this day. The legacy of Watchmen is undeniable, safely secured in the pantheon of comic book greatness.Â
And then Zack Snyder made an adaptation of it in 2009.
Before I get into dissecting Zack Snyderâs Watchmen, I wanted to share a little behind the scenes look at what led to this post. Back at the beginning of October, Matt approached me and asked me to revive the âDeep Analysisâ feature from a few years ago, saying that we were in a position where we had enough talented writers to pull off a new monthly feature. I was honored, but also a little concerned at how big of a task it was. What the hell could I talk about that would justify a Deep Analysis? What would be worthy of writing several thousand words that people will actually want to read and discuss? What would be a movie that people will be passionate about?
I was debating doing Spring Breakers, a 2013 slice of arthouse shlock that condemns the dissonance between reality and fantasy thatâs generated from the media, but Iâm pretty sure not many people have seen it. And the people that have seen it would say that the movie is about ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Then I thought about doing Silent Hill so I could write about how valid a good/decent movie is when it butchers its source material, but I didnât want to beat on the Silent Hill horse more than it has been. But then I found my answer in the comments of my NYCC article on HBOâs upcoming Watchmen series. It was relevant, people are clearly interested in Watchmen, and it would be worth discussing since Iâm a pretty big fan of the movie. So letâs do it. Letâs analyze Zack Snyderâs Watchmen.
A Finely Assembled Clock
Watchmen began with the murder of a government-sanctioned vigilante named the Comedian. Murdered in his own apartment, the police are at a loss at how a man like the Comedian, real name Edward Blake, could have been thrown from his apartment window when he was built like a tank. A mentally unhinged vigilante that used to work with the Comedian, Rorschach, investigates the crime scene and believes that someone is trying to murder costumed vigilantes. He warns Nite Owl/Dan Dreiberg, his former partner, Ozymandias/Adrian Veidt, the smartest man in the world, Doctor Manhattan/Jon Osterman, the most powerful being in existence that can bend space, time, and matter to his will, and Silk Spectre/Laurie Jupiter, Manhattanâs girlfriend who is his only tether to humanity. What follows is a huge conspiracy of lies, murder, and existentialism all in a bid to save the world from nuclear Armageddon.Â
If you were to ask me what separated Watchmen from every other comic at the time, it would be that it relied on extensive world building and flashbacks to flesh out its cast as well as the topics that it addressed head-on. When you read Watchmen, you could just read through the story and be done with it, but that would be doing a disservice to author Alan Moore. At the end of each issue are several pages dedicated to extraneous materials that have no bearing on the rest of the story, but flesh out the world that the characters inhabit.
There are multiple excerpts from the autobiography of the original Nite Owl that detailed his life, how he became a police officer, and what made him become a costumed vigilante. Then you have articles, interviews, and other supplemental material featured at the end that only serve to enhance the world of Watchmen. Yes, itâs supposed to take place in an alternate 1980âs America, one where Richard Nixon is still in office after successfully winning the Vietnam War, but itâs still our world. But so much time and effort are placed in creating a living, breathing world where other side characters exist. Mind you, you donât have to read these supplemental materials. You can still enjoy the story as is, but the extra material only serves to do more good than not.
Over the course of the comic, when weâre not following the vigilantes try to solve the mystery of who killed the Comedian, weâre following along with multiple different characters who are living their daily lives. They never directly intercede in the main plot with the exception of maybe one character, but theyâre around to flesh out the world and ideas that Watchmen brings up. We may follow some police officers, a right-wing newspaper organization, a psychologist, a guy who sells newspapers, a cabbie and her problems with her girlfriend, or we may just read a comic book about a sailor trying to return home to his family before theyâre killed by pirates. All of it serves to cement that there are living, breathing people that arenât wrapped up in the march to doomsday.Â
Which brings us to the themes that are addressed in the story. I could go on for days talking about each of the storyâs main ideas, like how Watchmen addresses identity, patriotism, fate, time, the validity of vigilante justice, crime, and the moral gray area of achieving world peace at the immense cost of life (Ozymandias and Thanos would get along really well). Those are all well and good, but theyâre not what I think the story is really about. For me, Watchmen is a story about the Cold War and the threat of a nuclear apocalypse.Â
Through both the main plot and the various characters interactions, one troubling scenario remains at the forefront; the world is inching closer to nuclear war. Nite Owl dreams of the world ending in an atomic explosion, Ozymandias tries to save the world before the nukes start flying, and the people donât worry about how Dr. Manhattan could erase reality if he wanted to. Instead, they worry about the Soviet Union. To take a step away from Watchmen for a minute, in 1986 in our world, Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev were trying to do whatever they could to reduce their nuclear arms, terrified that one of them would be the one to end all life on Earth.
Fears of a nuclear war were prevalent during the 80âs but the fear of the atomic bomb was around for decades. The Cuban Missile Crisis is probably the best example that comes to mind, with even people in the White House like former Secretary of State Robert McNamara saying that the only reason the Cuban Missile Crisis didnât erupt into nuclear war was because of level heads. The Cuban Missile Crisis may have been the theoretical worst case scenario of atomic warfare, the nuclear detonations at Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the practical reality. More relevant during the creation of Watchmen was the Chernobyl meltdown, where a nuclear power plant in Russia had a catastrophic meltdown in 1986, rendering all life in the immediate area inhospitable to humans still to this day. Fears of nuclear war were legitimate, and with the two largest superpowers in the world having polarizing ideologies that frequently butted heads, youâd better believe that it was a very real possibility that World War III would erupt over the slightest dispute.Â
Iâd argue that Watchmen could only exist in the 1980âs, right when the Cold War was still at the forefront of politics. Telling the story outside of the 1980âs is possible, but you need to heavily alter it or just ignore the Cold War connections. DC Comics is currently making a sequel to Watchmen called Doomsday Clock, which as of this writing is at issue seven of 12, but itâs not set in the world of Watchmen. Itâs set in the modern DC universe, without a single mention of the Cold War. The DC prequels, Before Watchmen, knew that it wasnât the smartest idea to directly set themselves during the Cold War and the events of the original series, so each of the various miniseries was more character focused and set during whatever time period the creators wanted to set it in. But the 2009 film version tries to tell the story of Watchmen and its Cold War fears from the perspective of 2000âs America through Zack Snyderâs vision. Unfortunately, Snyder made the same mistakes that the comic book creators of the 90âs took from Watchmen that nearly doomed the industry; he took the story at face value. He thought Watchmenâs value was in its violence and darkness.
Weâre Locked In With Rorschach
Zack Snyder isnât a bad director, but he is a director with a very particular style. All you need to do is look at a Zack Snyder movie and youâll see for better or worse, a lot of his hallmarks. Is there a dark/muted color palette? Is there hardly any joy or positive eomtion? Is the focus more on the action than the story? Are the characters unlikable? If youâve answered yes to all of these questions, then thereâs a pretty good chance that youâre watching a Zack Snyder movie. Thatâs not to say that weâre watching a bad movie, but weâre definitely watching a Zack Snyder one.Â
At first glance, you may think that Watchmen would be a good movie for Zack Snyder to direct. He holds the original comic in reverence and slavishly tried to recreate scenes from the comics on film the same way that Dave Gibbons drew it. He used David Hayterâs (yes, that David Hayter) script, which took wholesale lines and scenes from the comics that even Alan Moore, who has historically been against any adaptation of his work ever being made, said that Hayterâs script was the closest he saw anyone ever getting to making an ideal Watchmen screenplay. So what happened? Why do some people revile it and call it a bastardization of the comic, despite the time, effort, and love that was clearly put into it?
We might as well start with Zack Snyder, since this is less Watchmen and more Zack Snyder Presents: Watchmen. His style is caked all over the movie, whether it fits or not. Snyder is what you get when you let an edgy teenager become a director. Heâs going to focus on what he likes and what he thinks is cool over what other people think. You can easily see this in Batman v. Superman, where most of his time is spent dealing with the sloppy moral dilemma that Batman and Superman have to go through despite none of it making logical sense. However, when the two heroes eventually duke it out, itâs pretty damn awesome. The same can be said for Watchmen, where it seems like Snyder was interested in only two things; Rorschach and the Comedian.Â
Rorschach was one of the main characters of the comic, but time was evenly spent getting to know all six of our main characters. Each character had an issue dedicated to them where we learned more about them and their personalities, but everyone had an equal amount of development. In the movie, we learn all about Rorshach, but as for Dr. Manhattan, Ozymandias, Silk Spectre, and Nite Owl, we barely delve into their backstories besides a few throwaway lines. Of the four, Dr. Manhattan does have his backstory explained, but it feels like it was out of necessity. They offer the briefest explanation about how Jon Osterman became Dr. Manhattan, but they leave out his relationship with Janie Slater, Laurie Jupiter, and his father forcing him to become a scientist out of necessity, making what we do get feel hollow. That being said, Snyder does spend a lot of time focusing on the Comedian, which lends weight to the fact that Snyder was only interested in what he thought was cool.
The Comedian keeps all of his scenes intact, as does Rorschach. We get an extended fight scene with the Comedian that wasnât in the comic. Rorschachâs fight scenes are all in graphic detail. The Comedianâs nihilistic dialogue and Rorschachâs grim narration havenât changed at all. Snyderâs Watchmen is obsessed with these moments, yet the movie doesnât realize that weâre not supposed to really root for these characters. Theyâre terrible people and the comic made it vastly aware at how awful both of these characters are, but theyâre framed as being badass and cool. The movie cuts down on their condemnation and instead focuses on their greatest hits. Remember when Rorschach threw the vat of hot grease at a guys face? Well, here it is in live action with Rorschach screaming like a maniac about it!
Everything else is downplayed. Ozymandiasâ presence in the story is mitigated to his introduction, his assassination attempt, and the ending, which does line up with the comic, but he feels like an after thought here. At least in the comic we frequently saw him talking with other characters, albeit in flashbacks, but we were still able to see him as a fleshed out character. We sort of see how Nite Owl struggles with his identity and accepting that he loves being a vigilante, but youâd have to squint to really see it. Worst of all, the extensive world building is gone. Itâs understandable that there had to be some cuts made to make sure the movie didnât run five hours and itâd be nearly impossible to recreate the pages of supplemental material well, but a lot of what made Watchmen the comic it was is gone. The issue with Dr. Malcolm Long, Rorschachâs psychiatrist, was my favorite issue in the entire series due to how it painted Rorshach as both a monster and a victim, yet showed how the good intentioned doctor could be dragged down to Rorschachâs level, unable to help him and instead adopting Rorschachâs nihilistic viewpoint on humanity. Here⊠itâs reduced to a quick line about how Dr. Long canât possibly help him.Â
But really, the biggest problem that the film adaptation has is that Snyder turned Watchmen into just another action movie. Yes, there was action in the comic, but it was never the focus like it was here. You canât go a few scenes without an action beat taking place. While some of them are actually really well done, like Hollis Mason fighting against a gang that breaks into his house while flashing back to his days as Nite Owl, you have way more that are just brawls for the sake of brawls. We didnât come to see the Watchmen fight and pop bones out of arms. Zack Snyder forgot the biggest truth of them all. The original series was a mystery starring vigilantes set during the Cold War that featured action in it. He made an action movie starring 90âs heroes and Batman wannabees that has some mystery elements. All of that Cold War fear of nuclear Armageddon that the characters feel and discuss that was one of the driving themes of the comic? Rarely acknowledged.Â
And just to quickly bring this up, a lot of the design choices made in Zack Snyderâs Watchmen were to make the movie more similar to Christopher Nolanâs trilogy. Nite Owl was designed to be more like Batman, Ozymandias was designed to be a parody of the Schumacher movies, and you could easily swap scenes from Watchmen and The Dark Knight and be unable to tell the difference. Weâll come back to this.
Turning Oxygen To Gold
So if Watchmen completely bungles its themes, turns itself into an action movie, and focuses on the âcoolâ characters Rorschach and the Comedian over the rest of the main cast, you might be shocked to hear that Iâd still rank Watchmen as one of my favorite movies. Itâs a testament to how good the original story is that I could overlook the many, many, many, flaws of this adaptation. Yes, it is more interested in Rorschach and his crusade against evil than the other characters, but Rorschach is undeniably the best character in the movie.Â
In the comic, Rorschach was a man of few words and very few emotions. Most of his dialogue and choice of words was up to the readerâs discretion, when certain moments, like his climactic final scene with Dr. Manhattan, always felt a bit flat to me with how brief and matter of fact it was. I canât imagine a voice for Rorschach except for Jackie Earle Haleyâs performance. He brings a certain menace to the character that we always knew he had, but never saw. Rorschachâs most vile acts were usually done off panel, but we see that this Rorschach is much more active and unstable, which perfectly suits the character. When Rorschach isnât a violent sociopath, there are a few scenes where we do see a warmer side to him, mostly through his friendship with Nite Owl.Â
While the movie does away with a lot of the world building, it did decide to expand upon the Minutemen is fantastic ways. The intro to the movie, set to Bob Dylanâs âThe Times They Are A-Changin'â is easily one of the best intros Iâve ever seen in a movie, telling a complete story solely through music and action. No dialogue needed. In fact, Iâm a fan of the entire soundtrack. The music that plays during Dr. Manhattanâs backstory is simple, yet perfect for the story being told, but the true highlight comes from the licensed music featured throughout. Yes, even the âHallelujahâ sex scene has its charms (obviously NSFW), if only for how laughably over-the-top it is. It also doesnât hurt that all of the songs used are great tunes in their own right.Â
But as sacrilegious as it may sound, what really seals the deal for me is the new ending. It isnât perfect, but it really is superior to the original ending. Not just the epilogue, where Silk Spectre and Nite Owl adopt fake identities and Nite Owl grows a terrible blonde mustache, but the change for what saves the world. Minus the changes made to the characters and what got more screentime that was prevalent throughout the entire movie, the biggest change that riled up fans and critics alike was that the movie drastically altered the ending. And I like it. Fight me.
In the original series, Ozymandiasâ plan for world peace was to fake an alien attack on the United States by kidnapping artists, scientists, and writers to create a fake monster with the cloned brain of a psychic that would have been teleported into New York City, let out a psionic EMP, kill millions of people and drive even more insane, and use that alien attack to force world leaders to put their differences aside to fight a non-existent alien threat. Itâs goofy and introduces plenty of leaps of logic in the original series as well as introduce ideas that were never mentioned before that point. Now we have to contend with aliens and psychics in the world of Watchmen that donât really gel with the rest of the world. I know that Dr. Manhattan exists and heâs more bizarre and outlandish than any alien or psychic could ever be, but the characters at least acknowledge that heâs an aberration. His presence is terrifying because of how unnatural he is.Â
In the movie, Ozymandiasâ plan for world peace is a little bit different. Using his vast resources, he creates multiple fission reactors and places them in key cities across the globe. The reactors all share the same energy signature as Dr. Manhattan, so when Ozymandias forces them all to meltdown, they kill millions while emitting the energy signature of Manhattan himself. Every world government instantly turns on Manhattan, effectively ending the threat of nuclear war because now they have a common enemy; Dr. Manhattan. Dr. Manhattan agrees that this plan is for the best to ensure a lasting peace and leaves Earth for another galaxy, allowing the peace to exist.Â
The problem that the original ending had was that it was easy to prove that Ozymandiasâ alien attack was a fake. In the first issue of Doomsday Clock, civilians are protesting against him because they discover how the alien was a model, how Ozymandias was responsible for kidnapping the artists/scientists/writers, and the peace was instantly shattered. At least in the movie, itâs much harder to prove that Ozymandias was the mastermind behind it all. Everyone knows who Dr. Manhattan is in the world of Watchmen. Everyone saw him have a mental breakdown on live TV. So when a few days later and energy that is similar to Manhattanâs energy destroys New York, Paris, Moscow and a whole host of other cities, you better believe that people are more willing to believe it. It just makes more sense to turn the worldâs greatest hero into the worldâs greatest villain.Â
Damon Lindelof: Smartest Man or Smartest Termite?
Itâs ironic that when Watchmen released in 1986, it revolutionized the comics industry, but when a movie was made about it in 2009, it was met with indifference. Sure, some people loved it, but others hated it, or worse, thought nothing about it. The most revolutionary comic in existence was met with apathy when it was released to theaters. I think that Watchmen was met with lukewarm reception was because instead of it being a trailblazer like its comic counterpart, it was just following the then current trend of comic book movies.Â
Itâs not a stretch to say that The Dark Knight is one of the best comic book movie ever made. It redefined what a comic book adaptation could be, introducing themes, ideas, and depicting violence that no mainstream audiences had ever seen before in a comic book movie. Watchmen was still in development when The Dark Knight released, but you better believe that Warner Brothers tried to force Snyder to make Watchmen as similar to Nolanâs Batman movies as possible. This is purely my own opinion here, I donât have any hard evidence to support this claim, but itâs hard not to notice that Watchmen feels more like a Batman movie than an adaptation of Watchmen, or at the very least, a Watchman movie put through a Batman filter.Â
Watchmen was stuck between a rock and a hard place. You had one of the best stories ever told, but it was created from a very 2000âs mindset. Zack Snyder tried to make it his version of Watchmen, putting a focus on what he liked and ignoring what made the comic stand out. The Cold War commentary was put on the back burner to make it an action movie. Warner Bros. tried to make it aesthetically similar to Christopher Nolanâs Dark Knight trilogy. In short, everything that made Watchmen Watchmen was removed and replaced with⊠well, a late 2000âs action movie. The fact that Watchmen still comes out in one piece by the end of it is a miracle to say the least, but that the movie is still visually striking, contains some truly spectacular scenes, phenomenal performances, and even finds a way to improve on the original source material is a goddamn gift from the gods.Â
2019 is shaping up to be a big year for the franchise. Doomsday Clock is set to conclude (hopefully) sometime in the summer and Damon Lindelofâs version of Watchmen will release as well. Heâs been pretty quick to refer to Watchmen as sacred text and that heâll keep it intact but remix it, whatever the hell that means. Iâm not expecting HBOâs Watchmen to be a perfect version of the story. Nothing will compare to the original limited series. But experimenting with it isnât a bad thing. Zack Snyderâs version was full of experimentation and while some would argue that most of it was poorly planned and ultimately failed, there are some like myself that adore it. No one is ever going to be 100% happy with any adaptation of Watchmen. Hell, you can say that about any adaptation in existence. But change is not inherently bad. Make it Damon Lindelofâs Watchmen. Weâll always have Alan Mooreâs Watchmen and yes, weâll always have Zack Snyderâs Watchmen. I just hope the new show lives up to its lofty expectations.Â
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The Loss of Jonathan Demme
By Anthony Lane
A fellow named Melvin Dummar comes across this guyââa strange olâ weirdo wino, layinâ out in the middle of the desert,â with a busted shoulder and a bloody ear. Melvin hauls him into his pickup and drives him to Las Vegas, where the old man asks to go. Along the way, they talk and sing; after some coaxing, the passenger even croons âBye Bye Blackbird.â Then, after thunder and rain, he rolls down his window and sniffs the air. âGreasewood and sage,â he says. Before they part, he asks for money, and Melvin hands over the contents of his pocketsâa palmful of loose change. âThatâs it,â he adds. âThatâs all I got.â
Such is the prelude, both easygoing and far-reaching, to âMelvin and Howardâ (1980). Melvin is played by Paul Le Mat, and Howard, if you trust the movie, is Howard Hughes, played by Jason Robards. The director is Jonathan Demme, who died on Wednesday, at the age of seventy-three. Everything that there was to like about Demme is present in the scene: the contagious warmth that he feels toward his characters; the appeal to all the senses, not excluding smell; the consoling thought that, wherever you are and whatever youâre doing, music should not be far away; and the life-giving mix of movement and stasisâtwo people just sitting there, revealing something of themselves, while the truck chews up the miles and the day breaks free of the night.
Most of the tributes paid to Demme, in the past few days, have marvelled at the range of goods that was stocked, as it were, in the storefront of his films. Try the early exploitation flicks of the nineteen-seventies, like âCaged Heatâ and âCrazy Mama,â made under the aegis of Roger Corman. Or the antsy and energetic comedies of the eighties, âMarried to the Mobâ and âSomething Wild,â succeeded, at the start of the following decade, by the solid studio pictures, âThe Silence of the Lambsâ and âPhiladelphia,â that came away with Academy Awards. Dotted through Demmeâs career, meanwhile, were the music videos and the music documentaries, which harkened to figures as disparate as Bruce Springsteen, Neil Young (twice), the Pretenders, and, of course, the Talking Heads, in the imperishable hipness of âStop Making Senseâ (1984). Only last year, Demme filmed Justin Timberlake and the Tennessee Kids in concert at the MGM Grand, in Las Vegasânot far from where the hobo billionaire of âMelvin and Howardâ asked to be dropped off, at the rear of his own hotel.
This chop and change suggests a reluctance to settle, not merely in a choice of genres but often in the mood space of a single film. Nobody who saw âSomething Wild,â in 1986, can ever forget the giddying swerve of the plot. Jeff Daniels, as Charlie, is hardly the first stiff to be loosened up by a dangerous dame (think of Henry Fonda in âThe Lady Eve,â being led in a merry dance by Barbara Stanwyck), but in the hands of Demme, with the hard-staring help of Ray Liotta, the danger becomes a blood sport. A pair of Hitchcockian handcuffs serves first as an accessory to sex and then as a shackle to bind the hero while the villain, in the next room, plies his demonic trade. You want to know if screwball can be used as an offensive weapon? Look and learn.
As for âThe Silence of the Lambs,â one cause of its endurance, and the reason that, however busy I may be, I am incapable of dragging myself away whenever it plays on TV, is that its contents shift with every viewing. As we follow Clarice Starling on her first visit to Hannibal Lecter, down the long walk past the other cells, we hear the deep churn of the musical theme, and our scalps, as ordained, begin to prickle; and what do we discover, behind the see-through wall? A sprightly figure, standing to greet the lady, as erect as a butler, with the spectre of a smile. The gourmet has found his amuse-gueule. From here on, the horror of the film will be garnished with comedy, while the comedy (and this is the creepiest touch of all) will bear the rich savor of romance. âPeople will say weâre in love,â Lecter says, when the young F.B.I. trainee returns to him later in the taleâfor a tip, for a clinching clue, or because she canât help herself. Their expressions, viewed head-on, fill the whole landscape of the screen. Each can see nothing but the other.
That stark composition returns, in very different circumstances, at the end of âPhiladelphia,â when the dying man (Tom Hanks) bids farewell to his beloved (Antonio Banderas). Hanging over that filmâso timely in 1993, and so dated now, for all its tender and well-meaning ambitionsâis a sense that it was, in part, an act of atonement for âThe Silence of the Lambs.â Charges of homophobia had been levelled at the character of Buffalo Bill, the killer whom Starling hunts, despite the fact that Demme took explicit pains, as Thomas Harris had done in the novel, to disclaim any link between violence and the transgender community. In consequence, there were protests at the time of release. To someone of Demmeâs patent decency, those will have struck home.
The profession of movie director is not one that we instantly associate with the modest and the benign, but somehow, like Anthony Minghella, Demme rose through the ranks. What was a nice guy like him doing in a job like that? Well, he was schooled by Corman, a gentleman on the throne of schlock, who oversaw, with approval, the ascent of his many protĂ©gĂ©s. (The roster is laughably distinguished: Scorsese, Coppola, Nicholson, Stallone, and so forth. James Cameron designed the spaceship for the Corman-produced âBattle Beyond the Stars.â) To listen to Demme and Corman shoot the breeze, in their commentary on âCrazy Mama,â is like hearing a couple of veterans recalling their comrades-in-arms, without rancor or rivalry (âJim Backus, Mr. Magoo, God bless him; he was a delight,â Demme says, scanning the credit sequence), and an ancient dispute about a montage is fondly laid to rest. What the master made plain, according to Demme, was that, âif you lose the viewerâs eye, youâre going to lose the viewerâs interest. He also stressed the importance of having as many characters as possible that are in every way just as interesting as your main characters, even if they get less screen time.â
That is a crucial creed, because it implies not simply a visual knack but a reserve of moral generosity. Between âThe Silence of the Lambsâ and âPhiladelphia,â Demme made âCousin Bobby,â about Robert Castle, an Episcopalian minister in Harlem: a firebrand built like a fortress. I still remember Demme standing in the frame, arms folded, putting questions to his cousin and watching him at work, even if the matter in hand was something as prosaic as a pothole. There was a persistent liberal ardor to Demmeâs politics (witness his 2007 film about Jimmy Carter), but he was also blessed by a larger liberalism: the imaginative outreach, hard to discern in the rampant studio movies of today, which assumes that everybody is worth stopping forâthat there will always be folks who repay the cameraâs attention. What he radiated, before or behind the lens, was an unstinting curiosity, and a faith that the most reliable map of character was the human face.
That faith, rather than nepotism, led him to cast the Reverend Castle in five more filmsâfirst âPhiladelphia,â then âBelovedâ (1998), âThe Truth About Charlieâ (2002), âThe Manchurian Candidateâ (2004), and âRachel Getting Marriedâ (2008). The last of these, starring Anne Hathaway, found favor in some quarters, yet its fretfulness seemed a small thing when set beside the shimmying tensions of âSomething Wild,â and even Demme loyalists had to admit that the later movies suffered an unaccountable loss of pressure. âThe Truth About Charlie,â especially, looked all the more forlorn because it was a remake of âCharade,â and there is no known galaxy in which Mark Wahlberg could be an adequate substitute for Cary Grant. Not too many people saw âRicki and the Flashâ (2015), Demmeâs final feature, despite the zest of Meryl Streep as the middle-aged rocker of the title, yet the movie is worth revisiting, in the wake of Demmeâs passing, because it proves that his inquisitive eye had lost little of its gleam. He was, among his other talents, a terrific picker of extras, and as Ricki performs in bars, or at family gatherings, he dishes up, in passing glimpses, a fine assortment of his fellow-citizens.
Demme was a man for small towns and back roads. He liked those pockets of America where there was fun to be had, at a bargain price, and weakness to be gently laid bare. Hence his penchant for Melvin, a near-loser with a wish list of hopes, and for the tallness of Melvinâs tale. Whether the Howard he came across, that night in the desert, really was Howard Hughes, as legend insists, was not the sort of conundrum to bother Demme, and I doubt if he gave a damn whether the infamous âMormon willââin which, years later, Hughes allegedly left more than a hundred and fifty million dollars to Melvin in gratitude for his Samaritan deed, like a mega-Magwitch rewarding Pipâwas the genuine article or a fake. What Demme knew for certain, because his grip on our everyday fears and fancies was so secure, is that we want to believe Melvin, and that Melvin, the poor dope, wants to believe himself. The stories that we tell, in other words, may not always be true, and yet they are true of us, and that will have to do. The loss of Jonathan Demme is a sad surprise, for the films that he bequeaths to us remain, to an uncommon degree, the work of a good man.
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this is from several centuries ago but i think i never made a tumblr post for it and itâs my favourite fic that iâve written so you know fuck modesty ayy
Title:Â "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky."
Word Count: 4k
Summary:Â Critics have always considered "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky." one of the most faithful descriptions of Legend Victor Nikiforov, the greatest elven fighter for more than eight centuries. Although it is narrated by Plisetsky as an adolescent, and thus contains strong language and spends more time ridiculizing his travelling companions than giving thoughtful insight into Nikiforov's psyche, it still remains as an essential reading in every scholar that decides to study Nikiforov [...] //
Day 95: Caught Nikiforov writing love poems. Am appalled at bad writing more than anything else. Example: âI really like your dark eyes / and all the other parts of your face. Your butt is the perfect size / and I would love to see you in lace.â Hope the Hobbit cannot read, or am afraid this love story will not have a pleasant ending.
Alternatively: Elf!Yuri talks shit about Elf!Victor and Hobbit!Yuuri in his diary.
Link to ao3: here
Actual fic under the cut:
"The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky."
Critics have always considered "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky." one of the most faithful descriptions of Legend Victor Nikiforov, the greatest elven fighter for more than eight centuries. Although it is narrated by Plisetsky as an adolescent, and thus contains strong language and spends more time ridiculizing his travelling companions than  giving thoughtful insight into Nikiforov's psyche, it still remains as an essential reading in every scholar that decides to study Nikiforov, as Plisestky was his protégé and closest friend. It is also, admittedly, an incredibly honest read, compared to some stories that overglorify Nikiforov and paint him as overworldly. The beginning of his relationship with Yuuri Katsuki, famous hobbit adventurer, is also illustrated in the book.
- Excerpt from "Victor Nikiforov: Legend and Truth", by scholar and famous entertainer Minako Okukawa.
Day -24: Nikiforov barges into my room in the middle of the night, wearing a pink frilly nightdress that I am quite convinced belongs to Mila, and announces, terribly loud, âYuri! I have found my next adventure!â Proceeds to leave the room immediately, leaving glitter on my floor. My brethren and I have had our sleep disturbed for no conceivable reason. If this happens to be similar to the Human Pleasure Device Incident, will slit Nikiforovâs throat in the night.
Day -23: Nikiforov appears to be convinced that his adventure will be worthwhile. He has promised me he will not request me to undress a human female again. I have politely asked him not to ever mention the Incident again. Might have to invest in more of my daggers, as they have proved to be extremely useful. Nikiforov cheerfully informs me this adventure will involve hobbits. Do not see how this is supposed to encourage me to join him in his mad tourist trips across Middle Earth. Will ask Mila if hobbits are edible. Am unsure if she will know either.
Day -22: Hobbits are not edible, Mila is a terrible tattle tale, and Yakov is considering bringing me to a âplace with other elves your age, ladâ. If I am found dead come morning, Grandfather, ensure my fellow warriors find a safe place.
Day -21: Nikiforov will not consider my polite request to âleave me the fuck aloneâ, and continues to bother me at weapons training with plans for his reckless endeavour. He tells me thereâs a magic hobbit in the Shire who can attract ancient creatures. Am glad, maybe this hobbit will get devoured before Nikiforov tracks him down. It would be fortunate.
Day -20: The Devil Himself (Yakov, Grandfather, I mention him sparsely, as I rather dislike him. He is too loud and much too tall) has declared he considers the idea of me joining Nikiforovâs wild trips marvelous, instead of repugnant. Do not know if simply stupid or just senile. Will consider murdering him to avoid leaving. Rivendell is not terribly disgusting at this time of year, and my warriors are comfortable here.
Day -19: Got caught trying to sneak into The Devilâs chambers. Mila informs me that âkilling is not nice, babyâ. Am not a baby. Am nearly 50 years old, you wrench.
Day -17: Neither threats nor pleading have persuaded my instructors. Am supposed to leave in two daysâ time to get to the hellhole called âThe Shireâ to kidnap a prepubescent hobbit and force him to do our bidding. Have informed Nikiforov this sounds remarkably like âsexual harassmentâ. Nikiforov replies that I should stop reading Milaâs psychology novels. Am offended. I only read them for the plot.
Day -16: Hobbits are apparently smaller than dwarves. Cannot wait to be taller than someone. Am properly excited.
Day -15: Nikiforov apparently packed his whole wardrobe for the journey. Cannot truly say I did not expect this. My warriors hide in my cape, ready to spring on unsuspecting enemies and claw their eyes out. They are not âso cute!â as Nikiforov implies. He is an ignorant, and must be eliminated as soon as possible.
Day -10: Nikiforov has run out of natural glitter. Have never seen someone so utterly devastated. Must make sure to steal the glitter more often back in Rivendell.
Day -5: Nikiforov tries to tell me about the mysterious hobbit weâre supposed to abduct and manipulate. He says I will be happy, because the hobbit is slightly younger than I am in human years. I tell him I will not be happy, because I will be with a hobbit. Nikiforov has nothing to say to that.
Day -3: Arrival at The Shire. It is disgustingly cheerful. Nikiforov tells me to âkeep stillâ until he finds the our target. I tell him to âgo fuck yourselfâ, and proceed to wander around the Shire. Have discovered that hobbits are, in fact, quite shorter than me. They also eat ridiculous amounts of food. I approve of both these facts. Have written down several interesting recipes for Grandfather to make when I am back in Mirkwood.
Day -2: Nikiforov comes back with our kidnapped hobbit. He does not look like much of a magical creature. He is also, indignantly, called âYuuriâ, which amuses NIkiforov to no end, and ignores my attempts at being at peace, alone , insisting that I eat far too little. Am astounded he thinks I consider his opinions about me relevant. Believe the disgusting hobbit and Nikiforov are carrying on an illicit love affair, if their repugnant longing looks are anything to go by. I fear for my virtue.
Day -1: Hobbit: âWell, Victor, I donât -â Nikiforov: âDid you...did you just call me by my given name?â Hobbit, while an alarming shade of red: âIâm so sorry, please, excuse me -â Nikiforov, the same shade: âNo, uh, itâs fine.â I wish for the sweet relief of death.
Day 0:  After a day of making eyes at Nikiforov, like only the blind do, Frighteningly Cheerful Hobbit invites us to sleep at his âhobbit holeâ before our journey⊠I do not know what his âholeâ refers to, and do not wish to know. Grandfather...hobbits are such deviants.
Day 1: We set off. Hobbit has forgotten his Pork Cutlet Bowl knife. We return to his âholeâ (a type of house in the ground, I was mistaken, Grandfather, although it was painful for the height of the ceiling. Nikiforov, I am happy to say, was hurt much more badly than I was. But he did share a room with the Hobbit, which is a greater punishment than any creature needs) and get it. We set off once more. Nikiforov has forgotten his hairbrush. I throw one of my warriors at him to end his life. Warrior just meows. Am tired of this journey already.
Day 5: Have finally reached Bree. Easily Terrified Hobbit fidgets incessantly and clings to Nikiforovâs arm like a pest. He, disgustingly, seems to enjoy it immensely, smiling besottedly at the creature and making the hobbit get flustered in increasingly obvious ways. Have decided to find some poison in case they act any more smitten around each other. Bought food and blankets for my fellow warriors, although it was of an abysmally low quality. Strangely, miss Rivendell, in a It-was-terrible-but-familiar way. Must make sure to never grow attached to any place again.
Day 12: Hobbit has learnt about elven mealtimes, and is horrified. âHow dare you, Victor?â he shouted at Nikiforov today, âYuri is a child , he must be fed much more than this! I canât believe youâd be so irresponsible! How many meals does he have a day, huh? Huh?!â Nikiforov, looking terrified and backing up, even though he is almost twice the hobbitâs heights, replied, âUm...three, four times per day?â This is my only source of entertainment, Grandfather. The Hobbit is currently not speaking to him, refusing to even look at him, and treats me like a newborn elf, which offends me greatly. Am glad he has seen the light regarding Nikiforov, although he is completely mistaken. I am not a child, and do not need feeding.
Day 17: ....the Hobbitâs cooking is surprisingly edible. Am fine with being a child for him. Hope Mila never finds out. Must destroy all evidence. Hobbit is elated, and calls me âdearâ. Must kill him, too.
Day 18: After reflecting on it for a day, cannot believe hobbits are so advanced in the culinary department. Although they lack many other attributes (like basic intelligence and a sense of common decency), they certainly have a great amount of talent and ingenuity regarding sustenance. Truly remarkable creatures, these hobbits, even if they are inferior to us. They eat seven meals a day, Grandfather. Must market this. Inform the Financial Advisor, Yuri Purrsetsky.
Day 19: As of today, have been attacked by orcs, most of them riding drooling wargs (utterly repulsive), trolls and several unpleasant inebriated humans. Nikiforov is ecstatic that Hobbit attracts them to us. The Hobbit does not look as pleased with the confrontations, and has resumed his desperate clinging to Nikiforov, apparently forgiving him for starving me. I enjoy myself while making clever jokes about how the hobbit should learn to handle Nikiforovâs âswordâ, and cackle evilly when he flushes.
Day 35: Mila has sent me a letter. It says: âLOL VICTOR SAYS YOU EAT HOBBIT FOOD YOU FUCKING NERDâ. Â Nikiforov will die tonight. Am prepared to run from the law.
Day 48: Hobbit insists my brethren are âadorableâ. I inform him it is a slight on his part, as they are fierce warriors who could kill him in his sleep. Warrior Dreaded Claw discredits me by purring while the Hobbit pets him. Feel betrayed by my comrades.
Day 50: The Hobbit keeps touching my warriors. Get your hands off them, you filthy mongrel .
Day 53: Nikiforov has joined the warrior shaming, most likely to get points from Hobbit, who is delighted someone supports him. Â Nikiforov takes advantage of this by putting his hand on the Hobbit's shoulder and walking him everywhere to "get stuff for your kittens, Yuri!". Hobbit makes a point to coo every single time he sees me with my warriors. Am offended this behaviour is allowed to continue without any repercussions, and consider it a baseless infantilization of my noble and solemn partners. EDIT: Must remember to heat the milk I bought for Sharp Fang, as she is sensitive to cold liquids and too young to be risking her health.
Day 60: The Hobbit Yuuko (AKA The Least Unbearable Hobbit I Have Ever Met) has sent me a letter. It is three feet of parchment long, and she explains in great detail how goats are raised in different climates. Am unsure what she means by this. Will ask Hobbit if this is part of some sick courtship ritual between these creatures.
Day 62: Not As Annoying As Most Hobbits has sent another letter. Apparently, the first one was for somebody else. In my letter, she tells me how to take care of my âluscious, glorious hair, Yuri!â and gives me advice on proper elven fashion. ...do not know which of the two was worse.
Day 73: They have not kissed. They very pointedly do not sleep in the same tent. I can feel the godsâ anger. Cannot deal with the residual traces of sexual tension in the air. Am unable to sleep for fear of them starting to become... intimate while I find myself in deep slumber, ignorant of the horrors happening next to me. Am considering calling the Furry Wizard to take me in, such is my desperation.
Day 80: Fought a dragon. Meh, couldâve been better. Hobbit rewarded us for saving his life by giving us some of its Pork magic dish.
Day 95: Caught Nikiforov writing love poems. Am appalled at bad writing more than anything else. Example: âI really like your dark eyes / and all the other parts of your face. Your butt is the perfect size / and I would love to see you in lace.â Hope the Hobbit cannot read, or am afraid this love story will not have a pleasant ending.
Day 105: The Hobbit has sewn pockets into my Tiger Monster cape to keep my warriors there as we travel. Hobbit is extremely worried for my health and that of my brethren, so I allow him to live one more day. Must use him as blackmail against Nikiforov.
Day 110: Â "I wonder about all the eros you can give me." The hobbit thinks this is an intercultural thing, and is blushing in a ridiculous manner. I am concerned about the education received in the Shire. I fear for Nikiforovâs blood pressure. Do not know if I will escape to a safe place before he inevitably jumps the Hobbit.
Day 117: Fifty Shades of Gandalf visits us. He says, âVictor Nikiforov, the greatest fighter in the realm, whose name is feared and revered alike. What is your destiny, what dream are you chasing with this strange ensemble of companions and felines?â Nikiforov tells him some bullshit about becoming his better self and chasing something to challenge himself. Am convinced he thought, âGetting da booty.â
Day 134: Am sitting on a moderately comfortable rock, because this is the luxury a young, outstanding elf can find near the Misty Mountains. The Very Hungry Hungry Hobbit comes up to me. âYuri,â he says. He is clearly nervous, fidgeting and glancing around us to see if anyone is in the area. I understand this because the Hobbit is incapable of surviving on his own (it is a miracle he has reached his age without being murdered) and I feel for him, the same way I do for small rodents, cockroaches, or Victor Nikiforov. âYuri,â he says again, while I daydream about squashing him immediately after making him reveal the âMost Glorious Katsudonâ recipe, âDo you think Victor likes me?â
IâŠ
I am going back to Mirkwood.
I cannot be expected to stand this. Iâm out. Grandfather, Iâm coming back.
Day 141: âBut, like. Do you think, um, an elf and a hobbit would like, work ? Cause, um, Iâm just⊠very out of my depth? I really appreciate you listening to me, Yuri.â I hate my immortal existence.
Day 158: Yuuko The Most Tolerable Hobbit sends me a portrait of her minuscule hobbit triplets with straw in their head and wearing animal skins, and writes below it, They have a new idol! Am unsure if I should be pleased with this or not. Must write to them about how to improve their fashion skills. Hmmm. On second thought, might be a good idea to have some minions.
Day 173: Nikiforov has decided to teach the Hobbit how to dance, and thinks that the best way for it to go is to educate his worryingly tiny mate in some elven dancing and rites. He has failed to take into account that the Hobbitâs head barely reaches his waist. Watching them flail is the best fun Iâve had in ages.
Day 174: Nikiforov has decided that, since I am only slightly taller than the Hobbit (a fact that I am immensely proud of) we must dance together. Although I thought it terrible and meaningless at first, am now greatly entertained when Nikiforov flinches the moment I put my hands on the Hobbit. Cannot control the urge to smirk. The Hobbit is, of course, completely oblivious.
Day 192: Wake up to the sounds of the Unpleasant Hobbit moaning Victor's name. Proceed to whack them with a stick and scream, yelling profanities at them. Human raiders attack us because of it. I regret nothing.
Day 193: Hobbit is sheepish and refuses to make eye contact with me (good for him), flushing and turning away, giggling, every time That Wretched Elf touches him. Nikiforov, on the other hand, enjoys pulling his undershirt down to show the disgusting marks he left on him. Retreat to eat dinner with my brethren, huffing.
Day 206: âI hope you know that⊠it wonât change things, that me and Victor are together. I know you two are close, and I donât want to get in the way of that, Yuri. It would be great if you could come to like me, too. I think youâre a great warrior, and an even better elf.â I fucking hate Hobbits and I do not tear up, no matter what Nikiforov claims. I long for the day I can murder him without repercussions.
Day 218: Nikiforov decides to adopt some rabbits. Do not know if Hobbit will be okay with having children so early into their relationship. My warriors are not unhappy with the development, although Obscure Fur is still on the fence about the bigger one.
Day 219: Hobbit grows a spine and makes Nikiforov release the rabbits. âVictor, they need to be free!â âBut you let Yuri keep his kittens!â âTheyâre his family , Victor, and they are adorable !â Am growing to like the Hobbit more each day. What a pity that he is such an inferior creature.
Day 226: Nevermind. Must remember to always sleep with my whacking stick in hand to avoid a repeat. Will be scarred forever. Did not expect the Hobbit to be this... adventurous . Will stop thinking about the Hobbit in that context.
Day 248: "Yuuri, I...I think you've changed me. I've never felt like this before, never wanted to be with someone else so badly that my heart ached. You're...you're a shooting star across the dark night that is my life, lighting my path." "Uh...yeah, um, me too, Victor." Do not know how hobbits are still alive, if that is their standard reproductive behaviour. Will inform Grandfather not to invest in the hobbit gardening industry, as it might end in the near future because of hobbit shortage. My stick has been graced with another whacking, and Nikiforov coincidentally has another bruise, this time not because of his disgusting deviant tendencies, which are quite unbecoming of an elf of his breeding.
Day 253: IâŠ
Another dragon found us today, while we were travelling. I was not worried, as I have grown used to Nikiforov handling every monstrous creature thrown our way without trouble. The Flamboyant Elf didnât disappoint this time, of course, but he took longer than usual. Hobbit, in his stupid panic, tried to help. Hobbit...Yuuri (I might call him by his given name, as he might be dead by tomorrow) got injured. I⊠Saw Nikiforov crying for the first time. Do not want to see it again. Grandfather...have you seen this before? The way an elf fears for their mortal lover? Is this pain the one the stories talk about, woven in the songs? Will Nikiforov, too, die with the Hobbit? ...Will I be left alone?
Day 255: The Hobbit hasnât woken up. Nikiforov does not leave his side. The ingredients for the past two nightsâ dinner are still in the Hobbitâs bag, but I am not hungry. My brethren refuse to eat, as well. That wretched Hobbit should die, as stupid and careless as he is. He will do nothing but bring us grief.
Day 279: After weeks of fever and incessant worrying, the Hobbit is once again healthy. Â I tell him it would be a shame if he died before I could torture him to punish him for his misdeeds and insults to my person. He insists on fussing over me, as I am, apparently âtoo skinny, oh god, did Victor even feed you?â. His desire to take care of me (as if I needed it, the self-centered bastard) must wait, given the fact that Nikiforov hasnât let go of him for the past twelve hours. Am shocked and repulsed to find that I do not find it as disgusting as I once did. Must be a side effect of living with these deviants.
Day 284: Send poison, Grandfather, I beg of you. My dutiful army of terrifying kittens, it is time to fulfill our destiny and end the suffering in this world. I cannot bear this any longer. Grandfather, you might be disappointed in me if I become a murderer, fleeing the law and taking refuge in the dwarven mountains, but I will not witness the Irritatingly Red Hobbit feeding Victor that Precious Katsudon once more. No more .
Day 290: The Hobbit insists on us visiting the Shire for some time. He says he must give news to his family, and it has been too long since he was home. Nikiforov immediately agreed with the Hobbit and disregarded my protests, because he is whipped. Heard the Hobbit talking about introducing Nikiforov to his family. Am slightly impressed with how manipulative he can be.
Day 302: One of my warriors gave birth to more of our troops last night. Hobbit is delighted, and helps me care of them. I watch him carefully to make sure he does not try to harm them, although I doubt he has enough of a brain to have ulterior motives. Nikiforov enjoys teasing me about them, âWerenât they supposed to be fearsome warriors who needed no assistance, Yuri?â I retort with, âWerenât you supposed to be pretty , Nikiforov? People lie.â
Day 305: Nikiforov is still sulking about the comment I made. Hobbit tries to reassure him he is pretty with an endless stream of compliments, and kisses an unnecessary amount of times in my presence. I do my best to ignore them, and fantasize about  tearing them apart limb by limb.
Day 317: Have finally arrived at the Shire, and am quite excited to see Yuuko, The Almost Pleasant Hobbit once more. Perhaps will enjoy my time with my âfansâ, the triplets. Have received a letter from Mila. It reads: âIs it true Victorâs banging that Hobbit? Omg, take pictures!â. Did not reply.
Day 319: I take all my nice words about my fans back.Children are demons and I cannot wait to leave the Shire. Why must they exist? When I voiced my complaints to Nikiforov, who looks like an extremely suspiciously happy elf after leaving  Bumbling Fool Hobbit's room in the morning, he cackles very unattractively and says, "But you are a child, Yuri." Grandfather, this is harassment.
Day 321: Have caught a âcoldâ from the fiendish triplets. I fear for my life. Grandfather, it has been good knowing you. Must say goodbye to my brethren. Wish to die surrounded by them, in proper elvish attire, while Nikiforovâs body burns on a spike.
Day 324: The Hobbit has established himself as my own physician, and pretends to know any knowledge about basic medicine while sharing his observations with an actual medical professional in the Shire. Have made peace with the Hobbitâs overwhelming stupidity. Nikiforov tries to  help, but Hobbit hisses at him and possessively calls me âhis patientâ. Am overjoyed that this makes the Drama Queen Elf pout.
Day 328: Am feeling much better, and do not think I will die soon. Yuuko brings me pie, which I feel is the least I deserve after her devilish children got me infected.
Day 330: Today, the Bondage Wizard With A Pointy Hat came to the Shire. He informed us that the Hobbit  does not in fact attract any magical creatures at all, and it was all his doing. Therefore, this journey was a road to self-realization (except I somehow got strung along. Funny how it is never wizards that get caught up in âdestinyâ.). Nikiforov looks slightly annoyed, but is disgustingly happy with the Hobbit. I am not blinded by these trivial matters, and proceed to whack the Bondage Wizard with my stick. Cannot believe I wasted a year of my life on this useless adventure. Will be back soon, Grandfather.
Day 373: Am back in Rivendell. Mila is calling herself âa huge Nikatsuki shipperâ, which could possibly be her new cult name. Yakov yells at me, which is normal. Miss the Hobbitâs cooking, if not his presence. Definitely do not miss Nikiforov, not in the slightest.
Day 458: Have received an invitation to the Hobbit and Nikiforovâs wedding. Have advised Mila to bring arsenic in case they engage in intimate activities while in the presence of others. Will consider taking Grandfather with me, so he can inspect the culinary developments in the Shire. Yuuko says the couple is âso adorable, Yuri!â. Poor deluded hobbit.
fin
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TOP 10 BEST MOVIES OF 2017
The year of 2018 is now in full swing and, with the year of 2017 completed, itâs time to exam the âbestâ and âworstâ ssrmovies that of that year. Indeed, there was a lot of movie releases seeing in 2017. In total, Iâve personally seeing (and reviewed) over 81 new movies in 2017, some that were very recognizable, while others were âsleepersâ that flew underneath the mainstream radar. There were also a lot of movies that made big money at the box office in 2017 as well as some that gained critical praise from both critics and moviegoers.
Iâve already posted my list for Top 10 Worst Movies of 2017 and now Iâm ready to share with my list for what were the best movies of the 2017 year. These films, whether met high expectations, creativity imaginative, or just simply really good, were my personal best choice of the movies I saw throughout the course of the 2016. Surprisingly, Disney had a terrific year in movies, grossing billions at the box office, so you can imagine some (if not most) will be on my list. What can I say⊠Iâm a sucker for Disney. But before I begin with number 10, take a look at some honorable runner-ups that almost made it on my top ten best movies of 2017.
Runner-Ups
A MONSTER CALLS
âHow Does the Story Begin (And End)?
THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE
âThe Dark Knight Returns (In LEGO Brick Form)â
JOHN WICK CHAPTER 2
âJohn Wick 2.0 (Faster, Harder, Stronger)
BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
âThe Tale as Old as Time Returnsâ
LA LA LAND
âOld School Hollywood Magicâ
(technical a 2016 release, but it was nationally released in 2017)
And now my top ten!!!
10 â Patriots Day
Ratings: 4.4 Out of 5Review:
Patriots Day
In amidst terrible tragedy and frantic chaos, courage and everyday heroism unfolds. Director Peter Bergâs Patriots Day presents (through a cinematic lens) the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing in a raw and emotion way, showcasing the horrors of the terrorist attack as well as the bravery shown by those who were affected by the attack. Itâs powerful and emotional film, which is compiled and presented with enough attention to detail (both thematic and in entertaining) thanks to Bergâs direction and to the filmâs cast. More profoundly, the filmâs ending message echoes into recent events with love being stronger than hate, especially acts of terrorism and hate crimes are on the rise. While I do love Patriots Day, my heart does go out to the real-life individuals who were affected by this event and those who aided in the capture those who caused such a violent attack of terrorism. To those people, and for that matter the people of Boston, stay strongâŠBoston Strong!
9 â Spider-Man: Homecoming
Rating: 4.4 Out of 5Review:
Spider-Man: Homecoming
In 2017, everyoneâs favorite âwebslingerâ superhero swung back with a new face (Tom Holland) and new challenges into theaters in Spider-Man: Homecoming. While actors Toby Maguire and Andrew Garfield have already played the character of Peter Parker before, Tom Hollandâs charismatic energy and meaningful sincerity to the character is what sold me (and a lot others). Director by John Watts, Homecoming worked on multiple levels, working as both a high school comedy and a MCU comic book tale about a youthful, but inexperienced superhero. The movie doesnât necessarily move the MCUâs overarching story forward, but ultimately succeeds at being more of a standalone (and smaller) entry rather being dependent on its own cinematic universe world-building and âlarger storyâ components. The story was solid, the cast was great (especially Holland and actor Michael Keaton), and it was an entertaining summer blockbuster. It will be interesting to see where Hollandâs Spider-Man will go next. I canât wait to see him in Avengers: Infinity War.
8 â Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Rating: 4.4 Out of 5Review:
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
What can I say, 2014âs Guardians of the Galaxy was a smash hit, bringing a different angle to the MCU by introducing lesser-known Marvel characters to the big-screen and providing a solid sci-fi / superhero adventure that was still a part of the MCU, but able to stand on its own merits (and awesome soundtrack). 2017 saw the return of the cosmic ragtag team of Star-Lord, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, and the adorably cute Baby Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Much like its predecessor, director James Gunn cultivates a second cinematic installment of humor, heart, and sci-fi nuances. While it didnât outshine the first film, it was still a solid and very entertaining movie, offering a dazzling array of visual appeal, humorous bits, character driven moments, likeable performances (both from the return cast and its new ones) and the sounds of Star-Lordâs âAwesome Mix Vol.2â. With Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 already confirmed, Iâm curious to see where their solo adventure will take them. That being said, I canât wait to see the Guardians meet the Avengers in Avengers: Infinity War!
7 â Logan
Rating: 4.4 Out of 5Review:
Logan
While many X-Men fans out there will debate on which vitality of the X-Men cinematic universe, no one can deny that actor Hugh Jackman makes for the absolute best portrayal of the infamous mutant character of Logan (aka Wolverine). The movie Logan represents the final performance of Jackman as the titular Wolverine, which director James Mangold, bids an emotional farewell to the character. While most of the previous X-Men movies rely on heavily visuals and superhero nuances, Logan is the most âgroundedâ entry in the franchise, providing an emotional âhumanâ tale of Loganâs last stand as well as mutant newcomer Laura. Additionally, the filmâs R-rated violence (the first in the franchise) worked and provided the nearly representation of Wolverineâs comic book source material. Naturally, Jackman was excellent in the role as well as Patrick Stewart and young actor Dafne Keen. Whatever happens in future X-Men movies is still unclear (whether they recast someone else in the role or omit the character completely), one thing is profoundly clearâŠ. Hugh Jackman will always be the definitive movie version of Logan / WolverineâŠand heâll be missed.
6 â Baby Driver
Rating: 4.4 Out of 5Review:
Baby Driver
While most of these 2017 films on this list Iâve either heard about or was looking forwarded to seeing them, Baby Driver was one of the movies that quite literally took me by surprise. Directed by Edgar Wright, this movie, which followed the exploits of a young (music-loving) getaway driver, was a high-energy heist adventure, finding Wrightâs effectively tweaking the classic scenario to his style of filmmaking. The end result is fantastic, especially thanks to Wrightâs direction, editing, musical nuances, and a group of talented actors who play some interesting and colorful characters. In the end, Baby Driver was a sleeper hit for the summer of 2017 movie season, proving that you donât need an expensive pre-release marketing campaignâŠ. just a good âword of mouthâ and engaging cinematic story to tell.
5 â Blade Runner 2049
Rating: 4.5 Out of 5Review:
Blade Runner 2049
In 1982, moviegoers everywhere were introduced to director Ridley Scottâs sci-fi / neo-noir film Blade Runner. To this day, the film is regarded as definitive masterpiece for its science-fiction concept and storytelling nuances. In 2017, Blade Runner 2049, the long-awaited sequel to the original film, was released. Directed by Denis Villeneuve, Blade Runner 2049 expands upon Ridley Scottâs 1982 sci-fi classic, bring all the right set of nuances from the original film and translating / updating them for a modern movie going audience. The film was a visual gorgeous and cinematically beautiful as well as great performances (from a stellar cast), and a deep and compelling sci-fi story. While thereâs been some debate on this movie (causal moviegoers vs. the cult following), Blade Runner 2049 stands tall and proud in the cinematic world, achieving greatness on its own merits as a sequel and as a self-contained story, while standing shoulder to shoulder to its sci-fi classic predecessor.
4 â Coco
Rating: 4.5 Out of 5Review:
Coco
Pixar has always been known for their animated features, producing emotional âhumanâ drama as well as being colorful and dazzling with its cartoon animation and imagined characters. 2017âs Coco stands as a testament to that statement. Director Lee Unkrich and co-director Adrian Molina present the nineteenth animated film for Pixar Animated Studio, infusing their signature style into a heartwarming tale about family, music, and the celebration of the Mexican culture. The movie, the journey of Miguel in the Land of the Dead, is a fantastic addition to Pixarâs film library, offering up incredible colorful animation, solid voice talents, and a touching story that can resonate with everyone. Coco stands tall and proud as a Pixar classic masterpiece, proving that the animation studioâs still reigns supreme in childrenâs cartoon feature films and that their original ideas are just as strong as ever. In short, Pixar (via its release of Coco) seizes its own moment!
3 â Dunkirk
Rating: 4.5 Out of 5Review:
Dunkirk
When Christopher Nolan releases a movie, everyone celebrates with eager anticipation at what the acclaimed director will present. Dunkirk, his 2017 release, was a bit of a departure from his previous works, diving into the WWII historical drama, but reimagined in his own way and style, which made the film succeed in the eyes of many. The film, which told of the evacuation of the British soldiers from Dunkirk from three different points of views, was technical marvel to behold and a crowning achievement in moviemaking history, thanks to Nolanâs masterful directorial work, cleaver storytelling, technical marks (sound editing / mixing and film score), its cinematic visuals, and its solid actors. While thereâs been many war movies out there, Dunkirkshines the bright for Nolanâs ingenious work at breathing new life into the WWII genre of films.
2 â IT
Rating: Â 4.5 Out of 5Review:
IT
Hollywood loves adapting bestselling author Stephen Kingâs work. Some there are good (like ShawshankRedemption), while other times they flop, which was the case with 2017âs The Dark Tower. However, while that film bombed at the box office (and with critics and moviegoers), Kingâs other 2017 movie adaptation ITwas indeed a cinematic success. This movie literally took me by surprise as Iâm not much of a fan of horror movies, but IT is now definitely one of the favorites. Directed by Andy Muschietti, the movie, which followed the tale of seven children (aka the Losers Club) who battle against an enigmatic being known as âITâ (or Pennywise the Dancing Clown), brings Stephen Kingâs terrifying novel to the big-screen, capturing the right amount of disturbing / horror scenes as well as balancing the movie with a âcoming-of-ageâ story that perfect works within its context. While the film only tells half of the novelâs story (IT: Chapter 2 is set to be released in 2019), the movie is still a highly effective adaptation, respecting Kingâs source material (both narrative and horror-based imagery) and succeeds in its storytelling, thanks to the filmâs directors and the talented cast, especially the younger ones and Bill Skarsgardâs Pennywise. In a nutshell, IT hauntingly floatsâŠand youâll float too!
1 â War for the Planet of the Apes
Rating: 4.5 Out of 5Review:
War for the Planet of the Apes
So, what could beat out several favorable superhero blockbusters, a Pixar feature, a unique WWII drama, and Pennywise the Dancing ClownâŠ. War for the Planet of the Apes. While thereâs been series of films out there, usually (the ones that are not based on books) usually falter and loose their steam by the time they get around to the third installment. However, War for the Planets of the Apes is that exception. While itâs processor (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes) is slightly better, War for the Planet of the Apes is masterful and entertaining film.
Directed Matt Reeves, the movie, which continues to further follow the story of main protagonist ape leader Caesar, brings this new Planet of the Apes trilogy full circle, culminating in a wholesome feature that blends a compelling cinematic storytelling with incredible CG visuals, and amazing motion capture performances, especially with Serkisâs masterfully work as Caesar. The movie itself is hugely entertaining and powerful told; proving once again that a movie doesnât have to be a âdumbâ popcorn flick to be a summer blockbuster release. While the movie concludes Caesarâs tale by the time the end credits begin to roll, the movieâs ending leaves the door open for additional Planet of the Apes movies, further bridging the gap to the original 1968 classic (with plenty of room in-between). As it stands, War for the Planets of the Apes is a crowning hallmark achievement, delivering an emotional and highly satisfying final chapter of this trilogy. Which is why War for the Planet of the Apes is my #1 movie of 2017.
And so thatâs my top ten âbestâ movies of 2017. There were some movies that I didnât get to see, so (naturally) I canât critique them and pass my movie critic judgement on them, which is why they might not be on my list. So, what do you guys think? What were your âbestâ movies of 2017?
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New Year!
New Year! The whole world has celebrated the coming of 2017, and now we are officially in the new year. It means new thoughts, new ideas, new actions. And of course a lot of the old stuff is still here, but some of that definitely has to go. When I was five, my elder sister became mysteriously ill and was taken to a hospital. I remember my mother was very distraught and sort of absent. She told me that nobody knew when my sister was going to come home; she took me to the hospital which was nearby showed me a window on the third floor, and explained that I was not allowed to visit. All this puzzled me greatly. One early morning I got out of the house, went to the hospital, studied the wall with its quaint decorations protruding outwards, and climbed to that window. Luckily it was slightly open; I wiggled in and saw my big sister lying in bed. She looked pale and inert but she was very happy to see me. We talked and played together until a nurse came in. She was I suppose rather taken aback at finding a small child there, but she kept her cool. In a little while my mother rushed in. And after that I was allowed to come visit because the doctor said my presence had a good influence on my sister's condition. Eventually she came home feeling as good as new. Not so our mother. I see now that once she got that huge scare, that threat of losing her child, she never recovered. All my sister had to do if she wanted something was languidly touch her forehead with the back of her hand and murmur, "Oh I feel faint..." And Mom would drop everything and rush to do her bidding. I quickly found out that I did not matter. "This is for your sister... Your sister needs it..." Home schooling, private lessons, special diets, pretty clothes and shoes, and above all total permissiveness. Naturally my sister, still a child used it. How was I to know, to understand what was happening, being only five? Children have an infinite capacity to accept any situation, to adjust. Our father was always away at work so he did not interfere or probably did not notice much. He never fought mother when she exclaimed that my sister was too delicate to go on long hikes, to take part in anything physically active or strenuous, to do any household chores, to study so much. He did however regularly spend some spare time with me, teaching me to swim, taking me on long walks; above all he taught me to organize my time sensibly and to work hard. Only once in all my school years I came to him frustrated: "I can't understand this stupid geometry!" He calmly asked me to show him how I couldn't solve a problem. I started to explain and gradually fulfilled the whole task. My grandparents I think tried to reason with Mom, to no avail. They were always very nice to me, and praised me excessively for any small achievement. As many children in such situations I worked hard tying to do my best at home and at school. I was one of the top ten students at school, and then the top one. I could cook, clean up and calculate the family budget by the time I was eleven. And I started working every summer while still at school. When I turned eleven I developed a severe seasonal allergy. But no. My mother never said I was sick even though I stayed home for the whole term in season and home-schooled myself. Many years later a former class-mate whose whole family were medics gave me a great insight. She told me her family used to marvel at my mother who would often talk of how "delicate" her elder daughter was yet never mentioned that I became sick every winter. "How fortunate for you that you were brought up as a healthy child! " she said. And I realized it was really good for me because I never saw my sickness as a disability or an obstacle. Oh, but how happy I felt when in my last year of school the doctor advised my parents to let me go away for a change of climate! I got a good scholarship and left home at seventeen. While a student I worked to supplement my modest income, never asking my parents for help. And so it went on. I never felt resentment, accepting the situation for what it was. I was the strong and talented one; I worked hard and achieved good results. My sister was the weaker one, she constantly needed help. My parents gave her a good allowance, rented an apartment when she moved out, and paid for her trips to Europe. When I started working she would occasionally call me to ask for some money as she couldn't stay within her allowance. When I got married and had children of my own, I saw many things more clearly, or maybe from an adult perspective. I understood my mother and saw that she loved us both though she could not cope with the initial difficulty. I made certain resolutions, like the obvious one: never put one child above the others. At times life was so hard I looked around and thought to myself, why couldn't I have what others had, why wouldn't my mother come to help me with the newborn... My husband also took the state of things as a matter of course, and we coped. My mother passed away some years ago. And her attitude seems to have attached itself to my father. We skype, and he invariably asks me, " Did you talk to your sister? Did you congratulate her?" When I told him that I hoped to become a grandmother soon, I could read it in his face, and then he actually said it: "But how would your sister react to that?" She is happily married but childless, and this fact largely led to the estrangement which we don't demonstrate but which of course he feels. "Don't worry, I'll talk to her," I tell him. He is almost 90. That's a huge number for a human being. He is invariably kind to me and my whole family - and my sister is number one for him. I figure I am lucky that he still retains his memory, he knows who we are and communicates regularly. And this constant worry... Well in a way it's his way of always staying true to Mom. It used to irk me of course, I guess I am only human. But now when I look at his kind old face, when I see him turn his head so that he can hear me with his one "good" ear or rather with his hearing aid, when he tells me I look fine peering at me with his one "good" eye, I believe all I can do for him in his twilight is be what he needs. I asked him once why he talked to me in a different way than to my sister, and he stated the obvious: " You are a mother, she is a girl". I don't ask any more questions. This year when his first question was, " Did you call your sister?" And not" How are you on your birthday?", I just replied in the affirmative. Then he congratulated me, made all his usual jokes and told my kids they were the best and the most beautiful grandchildren in the world. And suddenly I felt as if something finally gave. Like those ropes or safety belts in action movies when the last strand breaks off and the hero plummets down but miraculously remains unharmed. Whatever it was that stayed affixed to me since the age of five suddenly unstuck itself and disappeared into a black hole or universal vacuum or wherever these things go. And I felt free!
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