#go back to ace discourse.

[prince--kiriona]

every time someone i follow reblogs something where the punchline is "look at how CRINGE and PURITAN these random asexual people are" i just silently lose about 20% respect for them and continue about my day

[all-seeing-ifer]

at some point in my life i should probablyyyyyy unpack just how badly being on tumblr during peak ace discourse years fucked me up bc i would dearly like to just move on and forget that shit ever happened but unfortunately it's literally Always There. it's the reason i'm Like This on here. and sometimes i'll think to myself "now why do i always feel so uncomfortable and unwelcome and on edge in queer spaces / online spaces / fandom spaces etc etc" and then think about what the answer to that question might Possibly be and go Oh. Yeah. That thing. really this is probably something i should talk about with like a counsellor or something but well how the hell am i even meant to explain any of this to anyone who wasn't a terminally online 16 year old in 2017.

[ipreferfiction]

man the only fan spaces i will ever be in these days are the ones full of people with fucked up nasty reprehensible ships and fondness for the worst characters EVER. everywhere else is a god damn minefield but those bitches? yeah baby this is the freak zone and we are all freaks here

[hidden-impish-creature]

Since Tumblr spat some ace discourse onto my dash like it's 2014...

"Cishet aroace" is an oxymoron. If someone is both asexual and aromantic, they cannot be cisHET because they are neither heterosexual nor heteroromantic. They're not het so they're not cishet. Simple as.

Cishet asexuals can exist because they can still be cisgender and heteroromantic. Cishet aromantics can exist because they can still be cisgender and heterosexual. Cishet aces and cishet aros are real and can be referred to as such.

But there are no "cishet aroaces" because they're not het. If they're both asexual and aromantic, then they aren't attracted to the opposite gender in any way. And that's literally what the "het" in "cishet" means. It's short for "hetero." So you can't exclude aroaces from the LGBTQ+ community solely on the basis that they're cishet. You need to use an argument that doesn't hinge on aroaces being straight, because they're not.

I'm not saying that cishet aces or cishet aros are part of the LGBTQ+ community. I don't really care. I've yet to even encounter one, which makes me wonder if this discourse was ever really about them. The problem here is that people try to use the same argument for people who literally cannot be cishet.

Seeing posts about "cishet aroaces" following that "cishet aro man" poll is giving me psychic damage. Where is the "het" part coming from? You people literally made up a cishet aro to get mad at and then decided that everyone who is aro must also be cishet, even if they're also ace and therefore don't fit half of what that word means.

I've had people in my ask box on my main blog calling me cishet even though I'm openly an ace lesbian dating another girl. Again, where is the "het" part coming from? Does being ace magically make my attraction to other women straight?

Use your brains. Words have meanings, and "cishet" means "cis and het," not "anyone who is aro or ace, regardless of their other identities." Tumblr discourse has misused that word so much, I don't know how to refer to actual cishets without going out of my way to make it clear I mean actual cishets. It's so fucking annoying. You're changing the meaning of important terminology to make it fit whoever you want to exclude. I love this hellsite but sometimes I worry.

[exoflash]

"(label) discourse" "(label) isnt lgbt because waaah blah blah blah!" "(label) makes no sense" "(label) is (entirely unrelated label)phobic" go outside and talk to queer people older than 17. Please

[gibbearish]

ik i talk abt high control groups kinda often but i do encourage anyone involved in discourse in any capacity to watch folding ideas' "this is financial advice" video, because a lot of what he says about the gamestop apes being a self-organizing high control group imo also explains the more toxic discourse tendencies, and i feel like most discussion around high-control groups on here focuses on the tradtional kind that has one or a few distinct leaders which makes it harder to draw parallels between the signs. so i think its important to point out that these kinds of groups can still create that same energy as a unit even if there isn't one specific person calling the shots

[lovelyrotter]

yall how do u even know if ur aro/aro-spec i feel like an imposter

[leonsi]

If a gay man wanted to have sex with women, he wouldn't be gay, he'd be bi. Aces who want to hve sex aren't ace.

bruh. asexuality isn’t about having sex or not having sex; it’s about feeling sexual attraction or not feeling sexual attraction.

celibacy is about having sex or not. asexuals can definitely have sex without feeling sexual attraction.

i like to think of it this way: sexual attraction is hunger, and sex is eating. i can have absolutely zero hunger and still eat, if i enjoy the food. i can also feel nauseous and not want to eat at all. in both of those situations i still have no hunger.

you don’t experience this and likely never will. please stop talking over those of us who can, clown 🤙

[nicastamatis]

if/when i quit this job it Will be because i don't like [coworker] cannot stand her slash want her to explode a little bit. no amount of my boss being grating or mismanaging the place is as mindbending as having to put up with this woman.

[lumalalu]

i know that last post is abt americanization so i didnt wanna ramble in the tags since tags are more visible now and it doesnt feel the same as talking to myself but i was thinking abt how sasha is a gender neutral name but not to the people i would meet. the name i originally picked is gender neutral in that half the world thinks its masculine and the other half thinks its feminine. guess which half i live in. it doesnt matter bc its wrong either way.

people make fun of enbies w object names a lot but likw. if you just browse gender neutral names lists its really easy to see WHY people gravitate towards object names. there is no gendered correlation for "socks". the average person would assume it's a funny nickname, but they won't ask me if it's short for "ariana".

[tasmanianstripes]

Sometimes I remember absolutely batshit insane discourse topics I saw when I was a teen and I am just. Amazed

Also, the fact that adults also said this just adds to the insanity tbh

[yayroos]

i might be poking a bear best left to the archives of my other blog. but. it still hurts me so much that the thing i caught the most hate for across my various adventures of this fucking website was the time i, an aromantic asexual just coming to terms with what that meant for my life and future, dared to be hurt by John Watson in BBC Sherlock (which everyone still loved at the time) stating that a romantic relationship would improve Sherlock as a human being.

I got people sending me all the vile things the discourse could generate. I wasn't even primarily upset that they'd implied that Sherlock might not be aro/ace, that stung but i didn't really expect it to stick. I was upset that a character I liked and looked up to at the time was saying outright and with no wiggle room that being uninterested in romance was a fundamental flaw of someone's personhood.

I never watched another second of Sherlock after that. Never finished that show that up to then had meant so much to me. Because John said the things he said. And i went a ran to my room and made a sad and angry post on my blog all about asexuality and aromanticism and then for daring to be hurt by this i was subjected to all the violent rage tumblr could produce.

I wonder why i stayed on this god damn hellhole of a website. I really do.

[mc-pumpkin]

This is about Leon S. Kennedy....................

[aceredshirt13]

something something teenaged weird girl archetype carrying a torch for the man who gave him a place and a person to call home and only years later when he’s older does that man see him in a new and unexpected light

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

I came back to tumblr after a long while (we've been mutuals since like 2016/17?) and wow! Lots of danny phantom, I love it 10/10 show

Ayyyyyy welcome back to the hellsite, we have polls and PvP enabled now! And, ha, it was…. Not intentional that I have a lot of Danny Phantom right now but I am on a kick and there’s some NICE content I keep stumbling upon (and I also know some mutuals and followers found me through Danny Phantom, so sometimes I’m just like ‘I bet they’ll LOVE this!’). And I’m trying to get myself to just write the little blurbs in my head, because I do enjoy writing, so those are also a thing I do sometimes now, I guess? It’s a great show, but the phandom is really what makes it special to me! And my crossover loving heart is THRIVING on the increased popularity of Danny Phantom crossover ideas, oh boy.

Thanks for stopping by!

[dilfdarthvader]

@exclusionist anon: attempt to invalidate my identity to my face, coward. I dare ya.

anyway, ace and aro people are valid af and i hope all people who those labels resonate with don’t let anybody try to tell them otherwise

LOVE YOU, DELLSY

star wars is an inclusive universe for all of us regardless of identity and if you disagree, fuck off