#go Czech!

[nastyalover123]

My dear friend got me into the 1980s Soviet Sherlock and so now I'm here to spread the word, enjoy

[hana-loves-bumblebees]

Mole interest, czech edition

[bogkeep]

i reread captive prince trilogy for the third or fourth time recently

[armenelols]

Czechs and Slovaks reblogging the same 'our government is falling' posts for their own country because we are both in deep shit right now. Yeah.

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

Suddenly feeling sad for Czech Pendolino trains

They're 20 years old and they've never been able to go at full speed

[teplavecernice]

I saw your screenshot talking about how czech tourists are dumb, and now I'm very curious as to why? I feel like those are problems with tourists in general sometimes

we are not dumb in the way most tourists are, we are special little boys. most tourists act dumb because they don't do enough research - if they did they would reconsider. we on the other hand can do however much research we want yet we will always choose the worst course of action. not only are we underprepared and overconfident, we are underprepared and overconfident intentionally. there are no rational thoughts in our head, only ego and spite.

when we go to tatry, we understand the language of the locals (although it is silly goofy) and we do talk to them about the mountains and what to wear, where to go, but when they tell us that you need proper gear and not to stray off path, we chuckle and intentionally try to prove them wrong. silly locals! they don't know you can climb ďumbier in the winter in one day, wearing the godawful checkerboard shorts, sandals and socks and with a big tesco bag in hand. and ofc we can't forget the fanny pack of good luck. we have been to sněžka before (in the summer, went by cableway, stayed for 30 minutes), we know what mountains are like. the locals tell us that's not the same, we know nothing about actual mountains and we will die? no we won't, it's fine. there is a clearly marked path? oh but i think this way is gonna be a shortcut! there's a fence stopping us from going to the nice panorama view spot? haha fences are meant to be climbed over.

that is how tatry got the nickname "biggest czech graveyard"

you can imagine what happens when we go to the alps and don't understand the locals

(i invite every czech and every person that has experience with czech tourists to reblog and add their personal experience)

[minetteskvareninova]

It’s absolutely wild to me that American right-wingers can take a look at the totalitarian communist regimes in eastern Europe and conclude that the bad part was state providing basic services (healthcare, education etc.) and not, y’know. The totalitarianism.

[paint-it-red-and-black]

"oh, Charles, you're such an angel."

Max hears it often. he picks up the phrases chirped by the girls around. it was said by fans, PR managers and once he had even heard it from a Ferrari mechanic. and Max totally and utterly disagrees.

Charles is no angel. on and off the track.

he is a bloody menace.

because angels don't look like that. with a slight squint when there's a storm brewing in the depths of green eyes in the middle of a sunny day.

angels don't get so angry you're afraid to approach. angels don't hold grudges. angels are quick to forgive.

angels don't smile like that. smirking, a little arrogant, covering it with their innocence. and showing a little of the soft tip of the tongue between their teeth.

angels are measured. they take their time. they are neat and tidy. they never make a mess of crumpled sheets and clothes.

angels are gentle. angels never squeeze skin until it bruises, bite until it darkens, or pull hair so hard it brings tears to the eyes.

and even more so, angels don't moan. not painfully, but sweetly, like melted chocolate with marzipan that leaves marks on your fingers. hot. frank. naked. absolutely wasted.

angels don't expose their necks, don't bare collarbones, giving more space for someone’s lips to leave marks.

angels don't press closer, scratching back until it’s bleeding. angels don’t choke on passion and never create their own.

but he falls asleep in the most angelic way. with his nose against Max's neck and the blanket pulled up to his eyes. he throws an arm and a leg over the body next to him, pulls closer, smiles warmly, and lowers his long fluffy eyelashes.

people easily fall for it.

"oh, Charles, you're such an angel."

but Max knows that Charles isn't an angel at all. he's a real demon in the flesh. but it's much easier to love him like that.

[tepli-mravenci]

I find it funny how English speaking people use he/she pronouns for objects/animals as a way of showing endearment when there's multiple languages - including mine - that just gender objects and animal species in general

Table? Guy shaped.

Shoe? Girl shaped.

Door? They/them that bitch.

Cat? Girl until proven otherwise.

Dog? Boy until proven otherwise.

Pig? Let's not even bother, it's an it/its.

And that's just Czech. German has completely different genders for most of these things. And that goes for every other heavily gendered language. It's a curse really :)

[atempause-art]

princezna ze mlejna když už máš toho čerta s vodníkem? 👉👈 teda asi to neni traditional fanart ale když už tak už

musím se přiznat, že tohle je jedna z pohádek co nemám rád. ani nevím přesně proč, ty vajby tam prostě nejsou. a popravdě kdyby mi to spojení s tím filmem došlo při vymejšlení těch dlou teplejch debilů, tak je nejspíš z adama jiný strašidlo než čert

každopádně čerti tam sou fajn

[tokiko220]

Noone talks about The Drummer and the princess movie enough and ESPECIALLY not about the people behind it. It puzzles me to this day.

Warning, extremely long post but i really wanna archive all this.

For those who don't know, in 2018 Angels Pictures released a teaser trailer( CZ EN) for this movie and it obviously looked shit for a movie made after 2000 ESPECIALLY when people were claiming it cost 80 million CZK to make (3.5 mil USD-ish) which is an insane amount of money for a czech production. Plus in the czech trailer they have an uber popular czech singer Karel Gott appear revealing he's voicing in it, they even have a super low res photo with him from the studio.

(honestly i'm pretty convinced they met him once for the recording of the trailer lines)

So allegedly 80 mil CZK 3D animated movie with a bunch of celebrities voicing in it! Wowza! Why does it look so shit? EDIT: CORRECTION! After going through some more documents this is in fact and estimate of how much they think the movie is going to cost- they seem very upset people get that wrong. But honestly I don't think anyone actually thought they spent that much money on it.

Immediatelly bunch of czech news websites started rolling out articles about it because obviously, it was ridiculous. It looked ass the trailer is pretty cringy and they have all that stupid self congratulatory bs about giving 4% of ticket sales to kids because its made for kids. With love♡ People are ridiculing the hell out of it, obviously, but then a rumour starts that it's a all a publicity stunt. Obviously noone would make something that looks this bad in the year of our lord 2018! Angels Pictures don't hesistate and start nodding their heads aggressivelly. They pat themselves on the back for coming up with this new cool marketing strategy they dubbed "The Spites and Envy Promo."

They post this stupid, self congratulatory post talking about how they actually intentionally made the teaser bad, saying they modified it with "minor technical imperfections" (MINOR??????? IMPERFECTIONS????). According to this interview some guy named Jeremy came up with this genius and "innovative" plot. But if you read the interview (in czech unfortunately) you'll also find out the teaser probably looks so bad because no, there isn't actually really a movie at this point! Which is insane, given they released the teaser in September and promised a winter release! They apparently work by recording the dub first and then animating for it. In the interview he says they have about 20% of that done. But whatever, they keep insisting it's all part of the plan dude! The movie is going to release in like 28 countries and it's gonna be huge. (if you speak czech i totally recommend reading that interview it is enlightening lmao) I don't need to tell you I think the "spite and envy" promo is a bunch of boloney because if you're looking to drum up views and popularity through controversy you don't turn off your youtube comments about it.

Back in 2018 I was having a riot following this and despite being convinced it is not going to come out, I was posed to see it day 1 in the theatre if indeed it did come out (afterall, they're giving 4% of ticket sales to kids ♡) They continued to flaunt their genius marketing strategy and even bragged their teaser became the most watched czech animated movie trailer on youtube! Which while true, it doesn't really mean anything, because they second most watched actually came out and made money, while The Drummer and The Princess entirely missed their initial release date with no explanation why! On their website the release year kept shiftin ever forward and in 2019 they added the "RIP Karel Gott" to the trailer, so I know you're out there GIVE ME MY MOVIE!

Spoiler alert, it's 2024 and we still don't have the damn movie! But ever since then I've been completely fascinated with these guys, so let me bring you towards the about us section of their website, because it's frankly hilarious. Meet Angels Pictures!

Starting with Alex Pieter you'll notice he proudly states he's the author of the "project" The drummer and the princess. The second thing he mentions is that he's a member of MENSA and makes sure to explain it is an association of people with high IQ because you wouldn't know anything about that. Underneath that he lists a bunch of things he did which really just reads like when you put literally ANYTHING you think is relevant and makes you look good on your CV, like that he cooperated with big names like Vin Diesel or Catherine Zeta-Jones or Gerard Depardieu. Generaly a bunch of jargon to try and make him look super cool.

There's also this guy but he's considerably less funny and really jsut looks like your regular marketing guy. He's not even in MENSA.

Back then I was still wondering whether this was all an elaborate joke, and I may even believe it if these two guys didn't sound like the most start up "trust me bro" marketing guys. That really marks the end of The Dummer and The Princess, but I'm not done with Angels Pictures quite yet! You see, I thought they got me all excited for this movie and then dipped but no, they were planning something even cooler.

A video game.

Honestly, you need to see it to believe it.

After seeing this, I genuinely started doubting myself again. Like this has got to be a joke right?? What in the mother of all asset flips...

It was supposed to be a VR experience (but also non VR) about .. uh.. well....... Flying aroung?? And there will be vampires.. and dragons?? Whatever they found on the asset store I assume. But not in the base game! You see, the clever MENSA head over at Angels Pictures came up with this new game monetization model called "Modular System". You buy the base game called "The Radix" and then you can buy additional packs such as "Oh, Look!" which adds interesting sights to this flying simulator (making me wonder what the base game even does have). Then we have "Vampires" which I supposed adds the Italian Vampire Palmira who does not believe in wearing pants. Also a bunch of other "modules" that add things to "duel with for treasures". Yay.

Those with a keen eye might notice this isn't actually entirely their idea, this has basically been The Sims 4 monetization scheme since literally forever, but as much as I hate to admit it, at least the sims actually like.... You know.. Gives you something? And isn't an asset flip. And ... exists. Oh yeah, spoiler alert, the No*1 game with the funniest flying object (whatever that means) never did come out, I know, we're all shocked an crushed about it. The actual website for the game went down (which is why I'm making this actually, everday I fear all of this will dissappear) but there's still stuff about the game on their company website such as;

The release Timeline. Lofty goals, per usual. I don't need to tell you none of that happened because if it did I wouldn't be writing this and I would instead be playing Magic Carpet game swith the Vampire and Space module.

Continuing the scroll we can find that they claim to be a studio of "roughly" (???) 30 artists.

Ah yes, nothing is quite as innovative as a VR asset flip game that gives vague description of what it's actually going to be about. Reminds me Dream World.

I don't know what kind of artists they are but whoever made that purple green logo should be fired promptly. Also as you can see they are still bragging about the huge success their marketing campaign was and using it to seem credible- never mentioning that the damn movie never came out. The kids are still waiting for their 4% (which btw they never quite mentioned what charities they are planning to give that to.)

Now let's check out Alex's updated profile for the game;

He's really come to his own since The Drummer and the princess. He's still a member of MENSA, a global association of people with high IQs, but I think it's adorable he updated his photo to be a picture of him holding a controller like he's a gamer girl on instagram. He's just like you, fellow gamers. He's a 3D artist now and an IT specialist and programmer! Is there something this handsome devil can't do?! though despite his newly acquired 3D art skills, the game somehow manages to look worse than the movie trailer.

I also wanna point to this, purely because I wanna archive it. "A game that simply isn't on the market" yeah but what is it ABOUT Alex???? It's honestly a hilarious read and a look into "the sicks brains on their team."

After all of that, what's the conclusion?? I dunno! I think these guys really missed their calling as MMORPG Fundraiser scammers, I think they really would have popped off with that. My theory currently is they try to set up these projects and websites and try to make themselves look as credible as possible to get investors for their stuff?? But I also cannot imagine it ever actually worked out? And obviously they never delivered on anything they promised so I just don't know! Besides they actually did work with Karel Gott and that's nothign to scoff at! I wish I could find out whether it was because they have an in with him or whether they paid him (if so, with what money? I can't imagine getting someone of his caliber to voice for you is cheap).

That marks the end of this insanely long rambling about this thing I've been obsessed with for years now and really wanted to archive in some limited way. Now I'm just waiting for them to come up with some new project that involves AI.

[icedbatik]

I'm sure this one took Mario by surprise ...

[eightfourone]

yes I'm a famous author, I've had my writing cited on a wikipedia page

[francis-ford-kofola]

Matching gifs for you and your enemy/co-conspirator/lover

[johankasas]

Ez

Also these two are living in my head rent free :3

[maslickonachlebik]

if you remember in body swap rimmer called lister "mister rimlister" and it has been on my mind for pretty long idk