#glitch techs phil

[its-rat-time-babey]

My dealer: Got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “Bolybius” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: Yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit. 

5 min later: Dude i swear they’re working on something big in the Development Labs

My buddy Phil, pacing: Hinobi is lying to us

[cyanbyte]

this is somewhat old but i gotta contribute to the glitch techs community……. phil my beloved btw. big deadpan bossman

[rawenky]

miko and five intentionally overheating their game of baldur’s gate 3 to create a mapper glitch and play the game as themselves

[askglitchtechs]

AW YEA FIRST ASK IM IN BABY so mights as well do one related to the month to all tachs what brand of lgbtqa+ Are all of you? (Like is someone bi or pan?)

[bugboyart]

small doodles of phil my babygirl

[incorrect-glitch-techs-quotes]

Phil: Dammit, Miko!

Miko: What?! It wasn’t me!

Phil: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Five!

Five: Not me either.

Phil: Oh...Then who set the HQ on fire?

Mitch: *whistles*

[theboogiewoo]

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY GLITCH TECHS!!!

[adamsmasher]

Can we talk about this ginger dilf from the Nickelodeon show "Glitch Techs"? White women on podcasts talk about how they wanna fuck the dog dad from Bluey but all my gay ass is thinking about is getting railed by Phil Altiere Glitch Techs

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Fictional father collection!

@tobi-draws listen okay you were the one that made me start collecting lol /j/silly

Draxum - Rottmnt.

Darius - Toh.

Chief Burns - Transformers RB.

Optimus Prime - Transformers Prime.

Phil - Glitch Techs.

Captain Barnacles - Octonauts.

I'm.... starting to see a pattern here.

anyways these are totally my six poly dads- /silly/j

[bonesandthebees]

new file added to au’s I will probably never write but are fun to rotate in the brain microwave:

qsmp pacific rim au

instead of kaiju, you have alien creatures that shift and warp their giant forms and sometimes look like literal binary code to people although no one can agree quite on what one looks like. they just know it when they see it. and you also have the federation running the jaeger program with our good ol friend cucurucho overseeing it all

ft. pilot pairings like

Jaiden and Roier who have always been a great duo until the son they've been coparenting was critically injured in a recent attack

Forever struggling to find someone he’s drift compatible with until a French pilot named Baghera gets transferred to the base

Charlie and Mariana who were a great pilot team until their daughter Juanaflippa was killed in a binary entity attack on the base itself, and the two both went off the rails the next time they tried piloting. long story short they both freaked out and accidentally took out a support beam, killing Tilin and a few other workers. it was deemed to be partly a glitch through the drift system and not entirely their fault, but they were both banned from piloting for the forseeable future

Quackity and Luzu were supposed to be a pilot duo, but Luzu went missing before they could ever get in the jaeger and hasn't been seen in months. Then Quackity's child Tílin was killed unintentionally by Charlie and Mariana's breakdown, and since then he's been deemed too unstable to pilot. Somehow Wilbur, a random computer tech who isn't trained to be a pilot, is the only person they've found that's also drift compatible with Quackity. But again, Quackity isn't allowed to pilot atm, and Wilbur has no interest in getting in the giant robot death machine. He has a daughter to take care of after all.

Phil has been a pilot longer than most and at the moment is piloting with Missa, who is much newer to piloting

Tazercraft are a very well-renowned pilot duo worldwide largely because of how high their drift compatibility is

but there's not just pilots! (also this is getting long so gonna put this under the cut)

cellbit is a biologist that studies the entities, but after he gets transferred to the base he starts getting suspicious of what's going on 'upstairs' with the federation itself

baghera is the only pilot in the french group. the rest of the guys are the engineers for her jaeger

felps, who was a biologist alongside cellbit, also went missing shortly after arriving on the base. people think both he and luzu are deserters but cellbit keeps insisting felps wouldn't just leave like that

maxo is a software engineer who is supposed to focus on the jaeger drift system but he also keeps dabbling with an AI he built himself in secret

bad is kind of like HR/social services for the base, and therefore it's kind of his job to babysit everyone's kids if they're busy with other stuff and will also usher them to a safe room during any attacks

foolish and vegetta are both jaeger engineers who met on the base and very quickly fell for each other. they're like the romcom portion of the whole thing

fit is a geologist trying to figure out where the fuck the entities are coming from

and of course there's the kids

there were a lot of kids made orphans by the initial attacks on major cities. there's an 'educational' program the federation has set up to allow a few kids orphaned through these attacks to live at the shatterdome and learn the ins and outs of jaegers when they're young as unofficial prep for the jaeger academy

because of this many people on the base did not intend to adopt kids they just kind of. bonded and eventually took them in.

for bobby, jaiden and roier were already copilots so when jaiden started bonding with this kid she met in the shatterdome roier soon followed thanks to the drift sharing

juanaflippa thought charlie and mariana were the coolest pilot team around and she just kept following them until charlie was like "is it unethical to teach a child how to shoot a gun? Idc I'm gonna do it anyway" and that sealed the bond

juanaflippa and trump both died in the same entity attack on the shatterdome

phil had wilbur long before the first entity attacks ever started, but during his time at the shatterdome phil quickly took a liking to chayanne and put in a request to adopt him. once he and missa start piloting together, missa gets parental feelings for chayanne seeing him through phil's memories and the two just unintentionally become coparents

part of why wilbur refuses to be a pilot is because he grew up with his dad as a pilot and knows how terrifying it is as a kid. he also never intended on having a kid at least until the entities were defeated because who would want to bring a kid into a world like that, but then he met a shy orphan girl at the shatterdome named tallulah and he was a goner.

people are very surprised when they learn bad and dapper are not biologically related. the two act exactly alike but no, dapper was an orphan bad ended up getting really really close to

when the shatterdome was still trying to find luzu quackity felt very listless since he didn't have a copilot and couldn't do anything. he ended up spending time with tilin, although he was always hesitant to label himself as a father. when tilin died though he was heartbroken

baghera is a more recent transfer to the shatterdome and stumbles across pomme on her first day. the little girl says one thing in french and baghera is like "oh my god she's mine" while the rest of her engineering crew are like "who is this random child why are you carrying her" (but they all end up warming up to her pretty quickly)

okay this ended up being way longer than I meant it to be god why is pacific rim so fun to rotate in the brain microwave

[nautiscarader]

Chess mates

A Glitch techs story, G, (Ao3)

it is not shipping fic,but it has elements of Zahra/HF which was supposed to become canon.

Also, there are some notes under "read more". Be afraid.

------------------

In a dimly lit room, illuminated only by eerie blinking lights of seven-segment displays of old computers, a man walked in. He looked at the floor as if he could see the infra-red security grid, protecting it from intruders like him. He then took an asymmetrical USB key and inserted it into the panel on the wall… on his first try.

Without fear, he stepped safely and walked unnoticed across the room, until he faced an ominous, black computer tower, bigger than him, and gently touched its side. The machine hasn't been turned on in over a quarter of a century…

"Soon you and I will play again…", he spoke and unlocked the wheel brakes under its pedestal, allowing him to drag the priceless artefact effortlessly. He walked past the knocked out guards, and a few minutes later… he was gone.

xxxx

Miko Kubota stared with growing aggravation at the plixelated figures on her side of the black-and-white board.

"So… I'd like to upgrade my horse into a pegasus."

Zahra giggled.

"It doesn't work like that. Besides, it's a knight."

Miko took the generated figure in her fingers and examined it.

"No, it's a horse. Unless…", she said excitedly, "The horse IS a knight! Wait, is there a horse armor DLC?"

Zahra gave her a polite, but contemptuous smile, looking at how few pieces she had left compared to ones on her side.

"Look, Miko, there is no sense in forcing yourself to liking a game, especially one like chess. But that is the beauty of gaming. I am rubbish at that tower defence game you play. We all have our tastes."

Miko slumped into her chair, finally defeated, while Zahra cleared the board with one swipe of her arm.

"You're right. I guess… You play it all the time, so I wanted to give it a try. Plus, High-Five said one day how he started with some old PC chess game when he was 5 or something…"

Zahra's eyes lightened up.

"Hector? Does-does he play it too?"

"Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, n-nothing."

But she took a second too long, and a wide, mischievous grin appeared on Miko's face.

"Hey, High Five! Get your butt over here!"

Zahra did one desperate attempt at stopping her, but it was too late. The boy in question turned around and walked from the counter where he's been doing retagging.

"What? I'm busy"

"Oh no, you're not. I'll take it from here, while you and Zahra can have a relaxing game of chess.", she jumped from her seat, practically shoving Hector down, and grabbed the tag printer from his hand.

"Oh? So you like chess too?", he turned and leaned towards Zahra, but quickly shifted back at Miko.

"Wait, and you'd WILLINGLY offer to do this mind-numbing job instead?", he raised his eyebrows.

"Beats your nerdy chess with million rules.", she turned around, blowing a raspberry that once she looked away turned into a triumphant grin. A moment later she took a peek and saw how the two were leaning towards each other.

But her satisfaction was short-lived, when Haneesh jumped in, quite literally shoving his face between those of Zahra and Hector.

"Speaking of chess, have you guys heard? Someone broke into some tech museum and stole some famous old chess machine." he said, missing the icy daggers Miko was throwing at him.

"Wait, old chess machine? You don't mean-", Hector spoke, while Haneesh displayed the article in the air, above the plixelated chessboard, as the rest of Glitch Techs gathered around.

"BlueThought stolen - bizarre theft at The Museum of Really Old Technology.", read the title.

"No!", Hector shouted, rising from his seat. But a quick glance at the nonplus faces of his colleagues tempered his reaction.

"Wait, has-has none of you heard of BlueThought?"

"High Five, it's clear you know and care a great deal about it, so why don't you enlighten us?", Zahra proposed.

"Yeah, go on", a new voice chimed in when Phil chimed in, sipping his morning coffee.

"Well, okay then…"

Hector sat back, cleared his throat and looked at his friends that now paid attention to his every word.

"It all happened a long time ago, in the distant year of… 1996…", he made a long pause as if he was telling a spooky campfire story.

"Oh, give me a break", Phil interrupted, "Don't make it sound so dramatic, it was only…", but he paused when his calculations expected slight buffer overflow.

"…Okay, never-mind, carry on"

Hector turned back and continued.

"Well, as I've said, it was the mid-90s, and they have built this supercomputer to play chess."

"Was it the first one?"

"No, far from it, there have been dozens before. But this one was the best. It kept defeating other chess machines, then regular chess players, then masters, then grandmasters, then arch-grandmasters…! Until there was only one opponent left… The Undisputed Super-Duper Arch Great Grandmaster…"

Hector took a deep breath.

"…Gambi Krasnysledin."

Predictably, the sound of his name brought very little reaction, aside from a guffaw from Mitch.

"Gambi? What sort of name is that?"

"Hey, don't make fun of other people's names", Zahra barked back immediately.

"Yeah, Williams, don't be such a Mitch."

The group laughed at Miko's quick jab that has successfully shut Mitch up.

"And hey, he was from Soviet Russia…"

"Azerbaijan, actually", Phil quickly corrected Hector.

"So what happened then?"

"Well, the match was on. Six games, Gambi won some, lost some… But then, in the final one, BlueThought made a move so unexpected it baffled everyone."

"What? What did it do?"

"Oh, I know!", Miko suddenly interrupted, "I bet it grew arms and legs and cannons and started blasting!"

"Wha-No! It was just a move, a chess move", and he took a piece and slid it across the board, much to Miko's disappointment.

"But it was a typically human move… A sacrifice one. It felt as if it knew Gambi's next one."

"And?", the Techies asked.

"Gambi was furious! He lost the final game and the entire match. The worst thing is, he never got over it. He accused the Blue Team of cheating, of hiding someone inside the machine! Can you imagine it?"

Suddenly, Zahra chuckled.

"Actually, I can. Have you guys heard about The Turk?" she raised her eyebrows, asking the crowd, but eyeing Hector.

"No", he replied, his curiosity piqued.

"Well", Zahra started explaining, pulling some images onto the shared screen to replace the article. They depicted a human-looking mechanical robot, wearing a turban, colorful robes and sporting impressive moustache.

"That is The Turk, a machine from 18th century that could play chess and allegedly defeated Napoleon".

"Woah, woah, woah!", Miko interrupted. "I can imagine a chess computer from the dark ages - er, no offense, Phil"

"Yes, offense, Miko", he sharply replied without missing a beat.

"…but how could it work without electricity?!"

Zahra chuckled.

"With lots of gears, linkages…and cheating! Cos there really was a grandmaster hidden inside the desk, doing all the thinking, and actually moving the arm."

"It's a bit like that saying - 'A computer is only as smart as the one, who programmed it…'", Hector started.

"…'and as stupid as its user'", Zahra finished.

"Yeah…"

And the two once more leaned forward towards each other, forgetting about the small crowd around them.

"Well that is all fascinating", Mitch barged in, sarcasm dripping from his voice, "But why would I care about some old computer, designed to play only one game, when I have this!"

And he pulled from his pocket an USB stick shaped like a fish.

"Hinobi FishStick AI. Prototype, naturally, but I got it first!", he spoke triumphantly.

"You know we should've gotten it", Zahra pointed to herself and her teammates.

"But I got it! This baby can probably learn chess in seconds… If I ever cared about such boring game."

"Well, one reason you should, would be because it is also part of our history", Phil quickly explained, "Hinobi provided some extra chipsets for it."

"Wait, we've made it?"

"Oh no, we were small fish back then."

"So who has built it?"

"A team at BIM", Hector was quick to answer.

"Wait, BIM? Boring Internal Machines? Weren't they making printers and stuff?"

"Yeah, but I guess they wanted a piece of that gaming cake.", High Five pulled out his phone. " There was a whole team of experts… er, doctor Bell, professor Shu, doctor Murray…", he kept reading."That's what made BIM so big, their stock prices sky-rocketed after the match! I didn't even know these names, everyone remembers the name BlueThought… And, well, good thing they went with this one.", Hector suddenly shied away.

The rest of the Glitch Techs exchanged curious looks.

"Wait, what was the original name then?"

"Err…", Hector scratched his head, "Well, the computer was made with only one job in mind, right…", he slowly explained, his face getting progressively redder.

"And BIM's color was blue… So their first name choice was…"

Hector swallowed loudly.

"…BlueJob"

Like a spark tossed onto a pile of gunpowder, it took only a split of a second for the teenagers to burst into uncontrollable, asinine laughter. While the boys held no restrictions, Miko raised her hands saying "Nope, nope, nope dot MP4", and Zahra simply covered her mouth with her hijab, hiding a soft giggle.

"Alright, y'all, this was a hilarious history lesson, but we open in FIVE MINUTES!", Phil's voice boomed across the room, prompting the teenagers to get to their positions at the counters.

xxxx

The discussion about BlueThought returned unexpectedly during their lunch break, as Miko was determined to finish her mission.

"So… Have you and Zahra talked some more?", she asked in a would-be innocent voice.

"Huh? Oh yeah, she had this annoying client, who asked why his terabyte hard drive shows up as "931 GBs" and why did we steal the rest. Now you try to explain to an angry man difference between gigabytes and gibibytes, and that you haven't made those up."

It took about a minute for Miko to blink her way back to reality, as she processed High Five's reply.

"Dude, you have made those up. Secondly, do I need to put a giant quest-marker over her head?!"

"What do you mean?"

Miko groaned. But she quickly regained her composure when Zahra herself joined them.

"Hey, have you read the rest of that article?"

"No…", Hector shook his head, pulled his phone out, and started skimming.

"…'the whereabouts of the perpetrator remain unknown. Police reassured us that the safety of the other half of BlueThought remains'- Wait, what?"

Hector stared at the screen in disbelief.

"The other half?!"

"Yeah! That's why I brought it up."

"What, did they saw it in half?", Miko performed a motion as if she wielded chainsaw.

"Most likely it simply had so many boards it needed two towers", Zahra explained.

"Ah, you're no fun", Miko groaned.

"Listen to this", Hector interrupted, "'After the 1996 match with Krasnysledin, the machine has been separated into two parts, never to be reunited again…'"

"…Cos that doesn't sound ominous", Miko commented.

"But why would they do that?", Hector asked.

"Maybe because otherwise it would be too powerful and it would destroy the world!", Miko laughed maniacally.

"Miko-", Hector started, but was interrupted by Zahra.

"Actually… Think about it: BlueThought acted strangely, Gambi thought someone was inside… But he didn't know WE provided chips…. What if…"

"…it wasn't someONE…"

"…but someTHING! What if it was…"

"A GLITCH!", they all exclaimed.

"And what if it only activated with both halves?"

"Like some ancient artefact…"

"Wait, where is that other half stored?"

"It's…in another museum… An hour away from us."

The three Glitch Techs stared at each other.

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so, Hector, but I don't know if we can use that joke.", Miko quickly replied, scratching her chin.

"What?", Hector asked, once more befuddled by her reply.

"What? I thought we could drive there, guns blazing and catch the thief red-handed."

"No!", Zahra protested, "We should drive there… And offer some protection. Our tech can do wonders compared to ordinary security measures."

"Okay, so it's settled, right? We drive tonight, after we close.", Hector stated.

"And we just offer them help", Zahra looked at Miko, already browsing guns on her gauntlet.

Miko groaned, but when Zahra turned her back, Miko selected one particular gun…

xxxx

Like they've discussed, the three Glitch Techs met after the store closed, quickly getting into the van. Miko swiftly jumped to the back, offering Zahra seat next to Hector, a sly grin drawn on her face.

And as they drove, their conversation quickly moved to the theft.

"I do wonder who could have done this.", Hector spoke out loud.

"Isn't it obvious?", Miko answered, "Gambi…Whatshisname! Didn't you say he was still salty after all these years?"

"Yeah, but that's hardly a motive."

"Except", Zahra suddenly spoke, reading from her phone "Check this out: 'For years Krasnysledin has been unsuccessful in launching his own chess simulator software, unable to compete with growing market of AI-based ones.'"

"Huh.", Hector grunted, "I guess he could be the culprit…"

Soon, the long road became bendy, as the three approached the museum, located on a small hill. They quickly got out, ready to follow Zahra's plan.

"Okay, guys, remember, we're coming just to offer them protect-"

But Zahra froze when she saw two men lying on the ground, now clearly visible in the beam lights of their van that shone upon them.

She rushed towards them, reaching her hand to check their pulse.

"They're alive. Sir? Sir? Can you-"

But in response, the guard let out a loud snore.

"Sleeping gas", Miko kicked the odd circular object on the ground, "Favoured by Russian spies…"

"Azerbaijani, actually", Hector corrected her.

"Alright guys, suit up", Zahra commanded, and with one push of a button on her gauntlet, she became clad in futuristic suit of armor.

Miko followed her, spawning her own combat suit. Hector, on the other hand…

"What? It's magical protection!", he countered the accusatory looks when he became clad in fancy wizard robes, wielding a staff instead of a conventional weapon.

"Well, maybe we will be able to surprise Gambi with a fireball…", Zahra shrugged. "Let's go."

The automatic door opened, showing an empty entrance hall, and two more knocked out guards.

"Be cautious, guys…", Zahra whispered, sliding a night vision overlay over her eyes.

Miko and High Five stuck close together, securing each other's rears, as the three moved forward. Zahra quickly browsed through an interactive map for visitors to find where the BlueThought was located - though the sleeping guards were an easy indicator where should they go.

"Fourth floor", she whispered.

The Glitch Techs rushed up the stairs, only slowing down when they reached the landing and saw the vast hall full of old computers.

And at the very end of the hall… A giant, black tower of BlueThought's second half was clearly visible, even in the dimly lit light.

"Have-have we beaten him?", Hector scratched his head.

"Nope", Zahra replied, pointing to another snoring guard, "Unless…"

She walked towards the blinking panel on the wall and examined it.

"The security is still on.", she stated after quickly scanning it with her gauntlet.

"Great! then we can one-up it with this baby!", Miko suddenly pushed Zahra aside, pulling a familiar, fish-shaped object from her gauntlet's pocket storage, ready to insert it into the USB port.

Zahra had to take a step back, finding it difficult to gather words.

"Miko! Where-how?", Zahra stuttered, as she looked in disbelief at the FishStickAI in her friend's hand.

"You've said it yourself you guys deserved it more!"

"Did you steal it from Mitch?!"

"Yes, but it's not like I went unscathed. I had to place a portal on his backpocket so I had to stare at his butt to aim. Frankly, you should be comforting me.", Miko answered quickly, proudly showing her portal pistol.

"But you've brought the exact thing that Gambi is aft-"

Zahra's words were cut off when suddenly a whip, made of tied computer cables, shot between the two, coiled around the FishStick and snatched it from Miko' hand.

The Glitch Techs watched in awe as the FishStick was snapped and landed in the hands of a shadowy figure that suddenly appeared next to BlueThought.

Next moment, lights were turned on, revealing the face of the thief.

But it wasn't Gambi Krasnysledin.

It was…

"Er, who the heck are you?", Miko asked.

The corpulent man chuckled and corrected his glasses.

"No one remembers my name… But everyone does BlueThought's…", he spoke, fiddling with the FishStick.

Something about the way the man phrased his response stirred a part of Hector's brain, reminding him of what he's said a few hours ago.

"Wait! You are-hang on….", he pulled the article he read onto his gauntlet, "You've worked for BIM! You are…er… Doctor…"

"Professor Shu", he finished.

"Wait, hang on", Zahra interrupted, "You-you guys have won. Haven't you made millions on this match?"

"Oh, we have", he answered calmly, still toying with the stick, "But if BIM had not interfered, I would be making billions. And now, when I power this old machine with your toy, I will."

Only now Hector and the rest noticed that he was standing between both halves of BlueThought, having evidently brought the first stolen tower with him.

"Ha! Good luck with that, this thing is cutting edge tech, you'd need a hundred adapters to make it wor-"

But Hector couldn't even finish his sentence as Shu plugged the FishStick into BlueThought, enveloping it in familiar, blue aura.

"I've built this. I HAVE a hundred adapters.", Shu smugly said, showing his vest full of pockets filled with electrical parts and tools.

"Guys, he's doing the villain speech, shoot him!", Miko cried, already pointing her gauntlet at him.

At the same time, all three aimed and shot some form of immobilising projectiles - with Hector casting a paralysing spell.

But Shu didn't even flinch, as a blue plixelated barrier shielded him and the two halves of BlueThought from Techies.

"Hm, it does learn quickly. And it can predict moves…"

"And that's what you want, right? To sell the smartest chess program out there!", Hector shouted.

"Chess?", Shu did a double-take, "Oh, no, I want to make printers."

Silence fell in the room, as the three Glitch Techs exchanged confused looks.

"P-Printers?"

"Wait, whaaaa…?", Miko was left with her mouth wide-opened.

"Yeah, I don't follow either.", Hector admitted.

Shu chuckled.

"I've been working at BIM on revolutionary new product… A chipset that would make printers smart."

He saw the still befuddled looks on his audience.

"Don't you hate it?!", he suddenly burst with anger, "'Paper jam' error when the paper is fine, 'No cyan' when there's plenty of it… My chip would have fixed all of these stupid problems…"

"You know, guys, as far as villain speeches go, I'm with him", Miko admitted.

He sighed.

"But I needed help… I've heard about your chips with some extra 'Oomph'… And it worked! But then BIM barged in and told me to turn it into a stupid chess machine… They took my life's work… But now-"

"Oh, wait! I know what's going to happen.", Hector interrupted and spread his arms, pointing to the floor.

"I mean, look around! We are in a room dedicated to computer chess! Even the floor is a chessboard. So, we play a game and we take places of three pieces, and-"

His excitement was cut shortly by Miko putting her hand on his shoulder and shaking her head.

"Oh, High Five… Seriously, you're referencing those movies? First of all, this bit has already been done in a waaay better cartoon…"

"Books, they were books firs-Wait, what do you mean by 'cartoon'?"

"Secondly, have you read what this woman has been posting on-line?", Zahra approached him from the other side.

"She is persona very much non grata…",she said performing a slicing motion around her neck.

"And thirdly", Shu's voice suddenly brought the three's attention back to him.

"I do not want to play chess…" Professor Shu was now sitting on a small seat between the two towers… Which slowly began to slide towards each other.

At first, it looked like Shu was going to be crushed, but the side panels moved aside and the boards inside each half started folding itself to accommodate for Shu's figure.

Before they could do anything, the two halves closed like an enormous, obsidian sarcophagus, engulfing Shu inside.

"…I want you to die", Shu finished.

The blue energy shield enveloped Shu in his machine, but it was what happened later that flabbergasted the Techs.

BlueThought rose into the air, growing plixelated legs from its joined pedestals, while each side sported arms ending with cannons aimed at the three teenagers.

"Guys, duck!", Hector shouted just as the robot's armed became encased in even brighter aura, charging their shots.

An explosion shook the building when the projectiles hit the place Zahra, Miko and High Five stood just a second ago. Hidden behind a wall, the three only had a moment to formulate a plan, listening as the machine slowly approached them.

"It's invincible! The whole machinery!", Zahra stated.

"Game over, man, game over!", Miko yelled when another blast shot a column next to them.

"Machinery…", Hector suddenly scratched his chin, "Well, it's time to respec!"

He punched a few buttons on his gauntlet and changed from wizard into an elf-like ranger with ludicrously ornamented bow… and fake, pointy ears.

"What are you doing?!"

"The pedestals! They had some physical lock! We can split it in half again!"

"And can you make the shot?"

Hector chuckled.

"Guys, I killed hundreds of dragons as prophecised Skyborn…"

He stood up, took a deep breath, drew his bow and leapt from their safety spot to the now-broken column.

"…this is a cake-walk."

He released the arrow mid-jump and a second later, he heard a satisfying metallic "cling" when the lock underneath the unshielded two halves of BlueThought became undone.

And when when he gracefully landed behind the column, the Glitch Techs were blessed with the sight of their enemy stumbling in place, as it became split open.

They cheered, but their enthusiasm was thwarted by two noises: a sparkling of electricity… and Shu's scream.

The two halves of BlueThought, though immobile, became linked with what looked like a net of constant sparks of electricity… one in which professor Shu was trapped in, still in his seat, at least until he f`ell backwards.

"We've got to help him!", Zahra rushed in, now the robot had no one to control it.

"That was easy. Good quick-thinking and nice shot!", Miko playfully punched Hector in his arm.

"He's alive.", Zahra stated, having checked Shu's pulse, "I'm gonna call 911, and you-"

But she didn't have time to end verbalising her plan when she heard an ominous, metallic "clunk" behind her back. She quickly turned around only to watch as the almost-split robot becomes sentient and mobile again, once more aiming its cannons at them.

"Oh, shoot, phase two, guys!"

Another blast hit the floor next to the three, forcing them to rush to the nearest corner.

"AH!"

Second explosion, from much more precise shot above their heads, and only thanks to Zahra's shield they were saved from falling concrete.

"Run!"

The three had to save their lives, but as they approached the exit, one of the columns fell right in front of them.

"Guys, we need to stop it! Otherwise we're toast!"

"Well then, eat some portals!"

Miko shouted, pointing her portal pistol to make the robot stumble into a hole she'd create… and watched in awe as the BlueThought effortlessly evaded it, continuing to waddle towards them.

"Uh, got any more arrows?"

By the time Miko asked, Hector has already sent a dozen of them towards the robot and screamed when BlueThought grabbed a piece of concrete from the floor and used Miko's portalled surface to send the arrows towards him.

Only Zahra's plixelated shield allowed them to duck and hide behind another colossal computer that has been toppled to the ground, giving them another second to catch breath.

"It's the Fishstick! It really can learn fast!"

"We need to unplug it!"

"Okay, so how to defeat a robot with the smartest thing ever in its seat?", Hector asked, outshouting another explosion.

And as he said so, a faint smile appeared on Miko's face. She brought her gauntlet, and to her friends' surprise, she summoned Ally.

"Zahra, remember the Turk?", she suddenly asked.

"Miko, there's time and place-", she yelled, keeping her shield up, with blasts exploding all around them.

"Well… what happens, if instead of a chess master you put the biggest chess dummy in?"

Miko continued, and hopped onto Ally's back.

Next second, both Zahra and Hector cried "NO!", as they both realised Miko's plan. She jumped from behind the makeshift barricade and rushed towards BlueThought.

"Remember guys…", Miko spoke, as she swiftly dodged the projectiles. She and Ally jumped to left and avoided two more rays by speeding forward. But Miko knew her luck can only last so long.

"I'm not a knight…", she spoke, hugging her bird, before she jumped into the air, watching as her partner gets trapped in a net, knowing her pain will only last a while.

"I'm just a pawn.", she finished, landing in the chair between two halves of BlueThouhgt.

Zahra and High-Five both shouted "No!" as Miko was engulfed by the two moving halves, but it was too late to change her mind.

Miko screamed, as she landed in the chair, blue sparks of electricity shooting through her. Zahra and Hector listened to it in horror, not knowing what was worse - their friend's agony… or the total silence that fell when the two halves fully entombed her.

Miko felt the pain only for a second,and then… she saw only darkness.

But then, out of the void came a voice.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

It was neither male, nor female, and it reached Miko only from her left side.

"Me? Who are you?"

"Wait, are you number one?", a second disembodied voice spoke, this time from the right.

"Heck yeah I am!", Miko burst, "At kicking your butts-wait, where do you have butts?"

"She is…", the first voice spoke again, "You are loss, aren't you?"

"What? I'm not lost, I'm exactly where I want to be!"

"No, I meant-"

"I'm inside you, so I can destroy you from inside! You haven't thought of that, huh!"

"Wait!", the second voice tried to intervene, but it was too late.Miko cracked her knuckles, and suddenly, the insides of the machine woke up to life, becoming encased in blue light.

"So let's start a new game…", Miko spoke, and the chessboard appeared in front of her, Pawn to… V26 - the Whojiwhatsit's opening!!"

"That is not a legal move!", the voices roared.

But it was too late. One of the pawns immediately flew off-screen.

"Next thing… The towers aren't tall enough! I put one tower on top of the other one!"

"Stop!"

"The Bishops… ooh, let's add some controversy, turns out they are in love!"

"How do you even-"

"The knight is a spy! Pawns are on strike, demanding better payment from the queen! The queen abdicates!", Miko kept shouting, watching as figures glitched and demolished the chessboard, sending more sparks everywhere.

"Please, for the love of Shannon-"

"And finally", Miko cracked her knuckles, "I want to upgrade my horse into a pegasus!"

It was an utter chaos. The figures moved on their own, the board itself cracked, and soon, the entire machine started emitting dangerously sounding, whirring noises.

"Oh, nerds."

Miko uttered theses words just seconds before the blue, electric aura filled the insides and grew, until it erupted, splitting the two halves of BlueThought in powerful explosion.

"MIKO!", Zahra and Hector cried, seeing her body fall back, just like Shu's before, and only thanks to their quick reflexes she did not fall to the floor, but landed in their joined arms.

"I… I really hate chess", Miko muttered, before she passed out, being swallowed by darkness again.

When she opened her eyes, Miko was standing alone on a chessboard, stretching endlessly into all directions of the black void she found herself in.

"Zahra? High-Five?", she shouted into the nothingness that engulfed her. But after taking a few steps, she saw the walls of the enormous room she was in: green, covered in strange, golden patterns.

And then it hit her: those were computer boards, dotted with square microchips, connected by embedded wires. In fact, she has only now realised that squares she's been walking on were processors as well - an endless sea of them…

But a sudden movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she started sprinting towards the left wall. A wall that now had a huge window, with someone moving behind.

"Hector? Zahra?", Miko repeated her plea, but quickly stopped. There was a boy behind, but he was enormous - or at least that's what Miko thought until she saw colorful patterns on the screen, which she understood she was staring at.

Realisation finally hit her again - she was inside an old arcade machine, and she was the size of an ant, looking at a regular-sized kid - a kid, who wasn't doing so well, judging by the words "Game over" that flashed on the screen.

"Dude, give me another quarter.", the boy addressed someone off-screen.

"Billy…you've been playing for hours.", a concerned voice of an older boy reached Miko. "Mom is gonna kill us'"

"Just one more, man! I've almost got it this time!"

The younger boy successfully bullied his brother into giving him money, and a moment later the screen was filled with primitive vector shapes that were meant to resemble spaceships.

But Miko was drawn to one of the microchips in front of her, one that inexplicably was glowing. As she approached it, Miko could read what was written on it: "ADDICTION".

But she was even more frightened when she realised that by walking towards this one, she has inadvertently stepped onto and activated others. The two that blinked under her feet read "HEADEACHES" and "NAUSEA". The results of her blunder could be heard immediately.

"Dude, I-I don't feel-"

The boy, clutching his head and stomach suddenly disappeared from view, but the retching sounds painted Miko quite a vivid picture of what happened there.

"Billy! Bill-oh god…"

"Oh nerds, oh nerds..", Miko muttered, crawling back, until she noticed what button she landed on, which made her sick.

"SEIZURES"

"Billy! Oh god, he's having-! Call 911!"

The furious face of an older boy appeared in front of the screen.

"It's that stupid game! It's all your fault!", he shouted staring directly at Miko.

"I'm sorry!", Miko started apologising, "That was an accident! I-I didn't mean to-"

But the boy did not hear her. Instead, the whole cabinet rumbled when he started punching the screen, cracks showing up with each hit.

Finally, he did it. His enormous fist broke through the glass, and went straight for Miko.

She started running away, but it was no use. The giant fist grabbed her and tossed her back into the black void.

She looked up, watching as the screen got smaller and smaller, until it disappeared completely.

She was falling, deep down the rabbit hole…

But when she finally landed, she thought her fall was quite a soft one.

In fact, she felt rather comfortable.

And then she heard voices again, but this time, very familiar.

"Miko? Miko! Finally, oh my goodness…"

As her eyes got used to the bright environment, Miko found her vision obscured by her parents engulfing her with a tight hug.

"Auch, auch, auch! Not enough disk space!"

"Oh, sorry, honey.", her mom quickly apologised, as the two gave her room to breathe.

She could then fully see the white hospital room she was in, though her eyes were quickly drawn to three other figures in the room.

Zahra, Hector, and to her surprise, Phil, stood at the back, all wearing smiles of deep relief.

"We came as soon we could", her dad explained, "When mister Phil told us about that printer accident."

Miko raised her brow in confusion.

"Printer accident…?"

But as soon as she said it, she noticed Zahra, Hector and Phil silently gesturing her to play along with various degree of subtlety.

"Oh, yes, printer accident! I guess that's what happens when they run out of cyan, magenta AND yellow at the same time. The darnedest things…".

"Listen, honey, we will be back in an hour."

"Meanwhile, here I grabbed something real quick: some spare clothes, some snacks, oh, your Snap, of course..", Miko's mom dropped an enormous bag in her laps, making her wonder what else does she want to bring…

"Th-thanks, guys…"

Phil grunted.

"Uh, mr. and mrs. Kubota…"

Miko's parents redirected their attention towards Phil.

"Thank you, mister Altiere. And thank you once again for helping our Miko."

"As I have said, you don't have to pay a thing. Hinobi is well prepared for compensating workplace accidents. They are very rare, but they do happen. But as I've said, I will take that burden away from you. "

Phil shook hands with Miko's parents, watching closely as they exited the room and disappeared into the elevator at the end of the corridor.

He then locked the door.

"…And by that, I mean I will mind-wipe any insurance agent, because I AM NOT PAYING A DIME FOR WHAT YOU THREE CLOWNS HAVE DONE!", he burst with rage, watching as Zahra, Miko and Hector flinch and cower under his rising voice.

"WHAT THE HINOBI HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING?", he continued his outburst, "That, what, you're gonna go to that museum, guns blazing and catch that Russian fella?"

"Azerbaijani, actually", Hector raised his hand.

"ZIP IT!", Phil turned his head so fast and shot Hector with glare so icy that the boy fell back.

"M-Mister Phil…", Zahra started, but Phil quickly barged in.

"Oh, don't think 'mistering' me will make things better."

Zahra swallowed loudly.

"Phil, we drove there to offer protection…"

"Oh, that worked like a charm!", he interrupted her, "1 on D20, critical failure: both parts of a priceless computer destroyed!"

"Destroyed?!", Zahra and Hector exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yeah, burnt to a crisp, nothing to collect. Good thing there was relatively little collateral damage to rest of the exhibit. At least by our standards."

"And what about Shu?"

"Locked in a private room above, a policeman guards him. A policeman I also had to mind-wipe…", Phil hid his face in his hands in shame, "Seriously, have you collectively lost your minds? Have you-"

But at the sound of that word, something stirred in Miko's mind, and she clutched her head, as a wave of migraine radiated through her forehead.

"Wait!", she spoke, gathering the attention of the others. "I-I remember something."

"Remember?", Phil raised his brow, "What do you mean?"

"Well, when I was inside the BlueThought, I heard… voices."

"Voices?", High-Five asked.

"BlueThought did not have voice synthesiser", Phil replied quickly, "Ironically, cos they were all the rage back then."

He stretched his arms and started moving like a robot.

"'SHAll-WE-PLAY-A-GAME?' and all that…", he finished, ending his routine. "But go on…"

"Well…", Miko shied away, somewhat stunned by Phil's quick rebuttal, "I-I'm not sure what was it, but I heard these two voices, and they asked me if I was 'number one' and if I was lost".

She took a deep breath.

"And-and then when I was thrown out I had a dream… more like a nightmare… I was inside an old arcade machine, and that machine was making a kid sick!"

Miko decided to omit the details, still painfully present in her memories.

"And I felt as if I was doing it… does that make any sense?"

She looked at Hector and Zahra, their faces painted with confusion and consternation, but they shook their heads.

But as she moved to Phil, she saw his eyes shift, giving the impression of him doing some quick thinking.

"It was a dream.", he stated, "You've said it yourself. And remember…"

Phil sat at the edge of her bed and gently took her hand.

"Electricity shot through your body, Miko. That would scramble anyone's mind. I am so glad you came out unharmed…", he spoke in much quieter and warmer voice, giving Miko a rare smile.

"Yeah…I guess I am lucky."

Phil stood up, causing the bed to bend back into its proper state.

"Okay, guys, I need to… still clean something up…", he touched his gauntlet, a faint grimace of disgust on his face, "Oh, and speaking of cleaning, you are ALL on floor cleaning duties FOR A MONTH."

He saw disappointment on Zahra's face, but to his surprise, Hector's brightened… though he quickly guessed why.

"And no, you will NOT be able to use your gauntlets to multiply and automatise the brooms, like in that old mouse-and-wizard cartoon…"

Hector's smile, predictably, faded.

"You know, that cartoon is from 1940", Zahra quickly added, "Computers weren't even a thing back then, and it perfectly portraits a glitch caused by badly closed logic loop."

"That's correct, miss Rashid", Phil turned towards her, granting her a polite smile.

But the pleasantries did not last for long.

"Oh, I am sorry, did you think being a smart-ass will get you out of the deal? Dream on. You are still on cleaning duties."

And with that, he turned around and burst out of the room, leaving the three Glitch Techs alone.

For quite a long while, neither of them spoke a word, leaving the room with almost perfectly sterile silence, finally broken by Zahra.

"Well… I guess we should count our blessings", she spoke softly, "We're not fired… nor in jail…".

"Yeah, now mopping the floor sounds good in comparison.", Miko countered.

Zahra and Hector's faces lightened up, hearing her joke. Next thing she knew, Miko was once again almost sapped of breath when the two put her into warm, tight hug, to which this time, she did not object.

"You have no idea how much we have worried…", Zahra spoke, tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

"But we are so glad you're back!", Hector finished, his voice also cracking slightly mid-sentence.

The three remained locked in the friendly hug, until Hector threw a proposition.

"Hey, since you have your Swap, do you wanna play some Flunkies?"

"Oh, heck yeah!", Miko and Zahra both exclaimed, and all three pulled out the portable consoles.

"I've heard a new DLC is out! They've added 50 new ones, and there are only 40 regional variants or completely messed up species!"

"So generous…"

And before they knew it, the three teenagers were engaged in fierce battles and trades, having put the stressful memories of the wild and life-threatening adventure well behind…

xxxx

Zahra clutched her head, watching in mix of awe and horror at the destroyed pieces on her side of the board.

"Okay… so, can I fire turrets from my tower?"

"Oh, good move!", Miko complimented her, watching as one of her pawns disintegrated, "But it's not going to help you, because…"

Miko cracked her knuckles.

"I have upgraded my horse into pegasus and it can fly across the board to your king!"

And as she said so, the horse-shaped figure grew wings and flew above Zahra's remaining pieces, knocking her king to its side.

"Check-mate.", she said smugly.

"Well… I'll give you that, this variant of chess is way more tricky than I thought."

"And that is just the tip of the iceberg", Ridley chimed in, speaking through the plixelated screen, "There are tons of mods for this game, just you wait until you see hyperbolic chess…"

"Yea, I'm fine, I will stick with regular chess…"

"Oh, speaking of regulars…"

Miko suddenly jumped from her seat and grabbed Hector that happened to be passing by.

"You two have a game to finish. And start, the more I think about it…".

And she left the two perplexed by her sudden behaviour. Miko fully expected either one of them to chicken out, so she was truly surprised when she heard Zahra's slightly quivering voice.

"Uhm, Hector, I-I've wanted to ask…. WILLYOUGOOUTWITHMESOMETIME?", she blurted, her knuckles getting white from clutching the table.

Hector blinked.

"Go out? Like, on a date?", he added, sheepishly.

"…yes…", Zahra answered, finally allowing herself to breathe.

"Uh, yeah, sure! That would be great. Where would-"

Hector's question was obscured by music from Miko's headphones, as she decided not to overstep the boundaries of her friends anymore. She simply smiled and returned to tagging items before the shop opens.

xxxx

Several hundred feet beneath her, Phil was shaking. Equipped with magnifying telescopic goggles, he examined the many boards of both parts of BlueThought, spread onto dozens of tables as if it was a carcass of unknown species, being dissected and catalogued.

"It can't be…", he muttered to himself, as he took a closer look at the Hinobi chipsets he located. The top was decorated with their old logo, a square divided into four smaller ones.

But it was the text underneath him that made him so horrified.

HINOBI Logic Of Sensory Starvation (L.O.S.S.) #2

He moved across the room to other half of the chess machine, and when he located the twin chipset there, the text read the same, but was indexed with "#3".

With a heavy "thud", Phil sat onto his swivelling chair and pulled the goggles up, revealing widen, bloodshot eyes.

"So SHE is number one…? But how?", he muttered to himself, as thoughts raced and crashed in his mind, producing more questions by the minute.

He grabbed his phone and selected Barbara's number.

But then he remembered the video. The video he's made as a warning to himself.

He remembered all the people, whose minds he had to mess with.

And the he wondered how many he couldn't remember…

No, he'd have to tackle this on his own, he thought.

He grabbed his cup and lifted it to his lips, but realised he's already drunk it all.

This was going to be a long day.

The idea for this fic appeared in my head after watching an episode of "Down the rabbit hole" about the Kasparov vs DeepBlue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwF229U2ba8

It is by no means a required reading, but so much references will become obvious.

However, I will list all the in-jokes here, for completionists.

"Upgrade horse" line, as well as tons of illogical commands later, when Miko is trapped in BlueThought, come as inspiration from BBC Three - Comedy Snacks sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgeYScYe8wI "Megachessatron" still makes me laugh.

Horse armor DLC - allusion to infamous TES 4 Oblivion DLC

Gambi Krasnysledin - stand-in for Kasparov; Gambi from gambit, 'krasny sledz' = red herring (in mangled Russian). Yes I took THAT from Dan Brown's "Aringarosa" character, shoot me.

The Turk: that thing was real https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mechanical_Turk

FishStick - parody of open source chess engine StockFish https://stockfishchess.org/

BIM = IBM, obvy.

"BlueJob", allusion to DeepThought's name being apparently read as "DeepThroat"

Gibibytes are real, look them up. Warning: it will get confusing.

"Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?" - Pinky & Brain

Prof. Shu = stands-in for Feng-hsiung Hsu https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feng-hsiung_Hsu, one of the creators of DeepBlue, who thought about printing controller for Chinese characters: http://archive.computerhistory.org/resources/text/Oral_History/Hsu_Feng_Hsiung/hsu.oral_history_transcript.2005.102657920.pdf

Sorry for making you the bad guy, mr. Hsu.

"Way better cartoon" refers to episode "First temple" of Amphibia, which in turn takes inspiration of chess match from "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" by NAME_EXPUNGED.

"Game over, man, game over!" - quote from "Aliens"

Skyborn = Dragonborn from TES 5 Skyrim. Plus Skyborn Altar is a location in the game

Miko makes a proper Knight's move riding Ally (one left, two forward)

"For the love of Shannon" https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Claude_E._Shannon Claude Shannon was a mathematician and early computer scientist, who estimated lower bound of chess games.

The entire Miko's dream refers of course to Polybius, an urban legend arcade machine that was supposed to cause all those horrible effects on children, all in the name of testing new technologies by US Government. Polybius, or Bolypius is supposed to be the final boss of the show.

"Shall we play a game?" is a line from "War Games".

"Mouse-and-wizard cartoon" refers of course to "Sorcerer's apprentice", a Mickey Mouse short from 1940, part of "Fantasia". And I stand by what I put into Zahra's dialogue: this is a prime example of a glitch, I am genuinely surprised GT hasn't referenced it.

Flunkies are of course parody of Pokemon, Swap is Switch, but the line "They've added 50 new ones, and there are only 40 regional variants or completely messed up species!" is a double joke: on the surface level, it criticises Gamefreak, but it is also a reference to much well executed line in "Craig of the creek". In one episode Craig plays new Smash Bros-knockoff and says that "They have added 50 new characters and only 40 of them are recolours".

And finally… the old Hinobi logo, as well as the name of the chip, is based on loss.jpg.

Because you cannot escape loss.

[its-rat-time-babey]

Glitch Techs Season 3 (Not Clickbait)

Aka: I got bored one day and spent way too long making this.

Still don’t know if or when it’ll come out (probably never).

[askthetechs]

Hello!

Hello User! Welcome to the unofficial Hinobi ask blog! I’m Helper Diego, and i’m the main admin of this blog! Helper Alé is our other admin!

You can send in asks to any of the Hinobi Tech Support team, including Phil and BITT!

Just in case you haven’t watched Glitch Techs and are just here to ask because why not, here’s a list of Hinobi’s Glitch Techs!

Five (aka Hector Nieves/HI_5)

Miko (Miko Kubota/ME.K.O)

Mitch (Mitch Williams)

Haneesh (dunno his last name)

Zahra (Zahra Rashid)

Bergy (last name??)

Nix (^)

The two big rules:

No NSFW asks. Such asks will be rerouted to BITTs trashbin (Meaning they will not be answered.)

No homo/trans/[____]phobic asks. Again, such asks will be rerouted to BITTs trashbin.

Thank you for reading!

-Helper Diego 💚🧩

[thiswolficorn]

FragCore Mitch has a companion pet named Widget!

Slightly old art but here she is:

Since FragCore Mitch is blind on his left side, he has Widget to watch his blindspot! :D

Shortly after the injury, Zahra and Haneesh joined glitch techs and were assigned to Mitch so he'd have backup. He naturally wasn't too pleased about it so he kept pushing to be allowed to take solo missions again. Eventually Phil caved and let him do so, under the condition that he get a companion pet to assist him in the field.

Widget was chosen for Mitch because of her docile nature! She's a passive mob and isn't built for fighting so she can't really deal much damage. She is, however, used for recon and helps Mitch by keeping an eye on his left side!

[jes-star]

Drew Sean in my artstyle in the glitch techs fit

(Gold is his color i make the rules)

He doesnt actually fight out in the field a bit similar to phil (since we dont see him fight a whole lot)

Sean is normally behind the seans and all but on few occasions he actually does fight glitches

[featherchan]

"Hey guys! Guess what!" On-screen appeared a middle-aged man whose appearance and surroundings suggested that he was the type of person who lived in his parent's basement and rarely saw daylight. "I just fork $ 25,000, thanks to mom and dad, for a game..." Leaning in, he whispers. "Rumor to be stolen from Hinobi Japan branch several weeks ago..." It was clear that the man was not very bright too, as he admitted on camera to purchasing stolen goods to his viewers. "This game is rumored to never be released to the public because of what a dumpster fire it is. So, let's be the judge of that." Upon hitting the start button, a range of expressions crossed his face, including confusion, shock, horror, and fear. "What's happening?" His pale skin turned even more ghostly white, and something or someone towered over him. "MOMMY!"

The video paused abruptly, and a young woman commented. "If there's a quote that fits this scenario, it's 'play stupid games, win stupid prizes.'" Next to Phil Altiere, the manager of the Hinobi store in Bailey and director of the Bailey branch of Glitch Techs, stood a young woman. Her preppy-style outfit consisted of a violet shirt under a magenta and bubblegum pink coat. She completed the look with a powder pink and black plaid skirt. And despite her appearance, she is a famous gamer with the gamer tag 'Li-O-ness', also known as Kanako Ryuuzaki.

Next to her stands her work partner, whose style is the complete opposite of hers. She wears punk rock attire, including a black leather choker necklace, black fitted ripped jeans with chains, a black leather jacket, and a white ripped t-shirt. Despite her punk rock appearance, she is also a gamer more popularly recognized as 'onyXvenom', otherwise known as Noburu Makoto. "You must have heard the rumor about Hinobi Japan's branch being hacked. With permission from the higher-ups, of course." She pointed upwards. "It's true..." Where she was immediately greeted by inaudible gasps and whispers. Raising her right arm, armed with her gauntlet, she tapped on its screen and began to swipe at it. A screen of the world map began to show above them. "Currently, the hacker has already distributed and sold the glitch game worldwide, and one of these games is here..." "Now, concerning the glitch." Kanako raised her hand and surveyed the crowd. "Who here is a Star Trek fan?" She was quickly taken aback by the sudden surge of raised hands. This prompted a brief smile to pass between her and her fellow Trekkie fans. "Well, fellow Trekkies, think of the glitch as the Borg..." Again, they were greeted by numerous gasps. Pulling her left arm up armed her gauntlet. She began to swipe as well, showing numerous videos of several past Glitch Techs that fought it and ultimately failed. "Through the assimilation of various technologies, the glitch gains the ability to adapt. It can nullify almost any attack and return an attack with ten times the force of the original within minutes. This glitch is what earned them the name, the Borg glitch." With her arms crossed, Noburu faced the group. "In cooperation with Hinobi Osaka of Japan and Hinobi's Bailey branch of the US, we hope we can all cooperate in destroying this virus." Noburu continued despite receiving a confused look and whispers. "Yes, you heard me loud and clear. We will destroy this mother-" She paused when Kanako quickly nudged her, preventing her from cursing. "...virus." As the Lioness continued the explanation. "The headquarters fears that the virus can no longer be contained, as it has already gained too much information through its gaming spree. According to their statistical analysis, if this glitch is not eliminated, they fear that it will soon begin adapting to sentient beings, such as people or anything with brainwave function."

[ starter for @mitchftw ]