#glad to see i am not the only one who didn't vibe with the skin

[trustymikh]

as a dragon and Sigma emjoyer I am very much disappointed with the new skin, so here's a lil redesign

[bbrissonn]

𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐮 - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐫 𝐳𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐬 (𝟏)

╰┈➤kinda nervous lol, making this on sept 22 at 11:51 pm. i came up with this idea for an au after seeing this post from @edwardslvrr like 2 hours ago

╰┈➤ october 8th bri bri here, decided to post this cause why not, it's all i've been thinking about since i started this au in my draft and i really want to make it public so yeah :))) hope you enjoy !!

╰┈➤ pairing: trevor zegras x ex!singer!reader

╰┈➤ masterlist

༊*·˚

-SEPTEMBER 1ST, 2023-

༊*·˚

: ̗̀➛ alannaoregon has posted on instagram for the first time in a while

alannaoregon

liked by jamie.drysdale and 1.8M others

alannaoregon so excited to announce that my sophomore album Tired of U comes out on October 13th !! this has been a work for almost 6 months and i cant wait for all of you to hear it. starting off with “i regret you everyday” coming out September 22th

much love, lana 🩵

view all 5,042 comments

becky.rivera GO BEST FRIEND

alannaoregon @/becky.rivera I LOVE YOU BEST FRIEND

user83 NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC

jamie.drysdale so proud

alannaoregon @/jamie.drysdale love you little one

user920 soooo we all agree on who all of these are gonna be about right…?

user726 trevor went from having 12 love songs written about him, to 14 breakup song 🫢

user02 @/user726 from obsessed with you to tired of u..

sabrinacarpenter so happy to be by ur side and see u grow, cant wait for everyone these masterpieces 🩷

alannaoregon @/sabrinacarpenter love you so much 🩷

user53 the way lana always uses a blue or white heart, but always a pink one for sabrina 🥹

user836 @/user53 glad im not the only one who noticed

user637 BAHAHAHA LIKE 10 OF TREVORS FRIEND LIKED THIS

load more…

༊*·˚

: ̗̀➛ alanna oregon posted a new youtube video

“Becky bring your butt over here.” Alanna called out, placing her camera on the counter of her bathroom. Her skincare products in front of her as Becca made her way into the room, waving at the camera once she was in frame.

"I'm here, I'm here." The Rivera girl said as Alanna grabbed her first product and started applying it to her face.

"Hi cuties, it's me, Lana." The singer said in a weird voice, one she used in every intro. Becca snorted a bit, making her best friend giggle a bit. "I am back with my girl Becky."

"That's me."

"And today, we're gonna take for a lake day with us. And through out the day, I am gonna explaining every single song from my next album, Tired of u, that comes out on October 14th." Alanna explained as she moved onto her second product. Next to her, Becca was nodding along to what she way saying, a proud smile on her face.

"Go pre-save it, guys!"

"And we're gonna be starting with a single, I regret you everyday, coming out on September 20th."

"Not gonna lie, I think that's one of my fav." Becky said as Alanna moved onto her third product. The singer had already made her best friend listen to the whole album, but the girl was there for the writing and producing process so she already had a good idea of what the song were like.

"So, I regret you everyday is a pretty self explanatory title for the song. It's pretty much about regretting ever getting into a relationship with someone, let alone even meeting them even if it's something you can't control." The girl started as she applied her sunscreen gently to her skin. "I think it was the second song I finished writing, maybe like a week after my break-up."

"Wasn't it two weeks?"

"I dunno know, doesn't matter. I was just crying on Becky's couch one day and just came up with it, she helped me write some of the lines."

"You can call me Shakespeare now." The Rivera girl joked, causing her best friend to giggle once again.

"Any who, I picked that song to be a single because I think it really gives off the vibe of what the album is gonna be. Also, because Becky said she'd hit me if I didn't put-"

"Lies!"

"If I didn't put out as a single. So, yeah, now you know!" Alanna continued, ignoring the look her best friend was giving her. She quickly cut the camera after that, laughing at Becca's expression that still hadn't changed.

༊*·˚

The next clip was of the two girls in the kitchen, preparing their breakfast for the day.

"I don't know if we said it before, but we're at Becky's family cottage for the weekend, so we're gonna go swimming this afternoon." Was the first thing said in the clip, Becky in the frame as she broke the eggs. Alanna was in the back, doors of the fridge opened as the looked for the milk.

"Then I am taking her out a date to the porch for dinner with the sunset."

"Fun fact for y'all, the photo on the back of the album was taken by the neighbors of me and Becky. So, thanks to them for their contribution to the album."

"And to my dock for being the front of it." Becca added as she now left the frame and Alanna was now the main focus.

"The next song we're gonna talk about is sunset chasing. Now that song was... very emotional to make, because as some of you might know, I am a whore for sunsets, and sunset chasing was something I did a lot with my ex." The girl started explaining.

"Big big whore for them!"

"In the song, the sunset represents like my relationship with said ex, and how I was like chasing after him and his attention even though we were together for years already. And I guess you could say there's like a double meaning I think, like how sunset chasing turned into me chasing him." She added, smiling slightly had Becca's words.

"I was once again present for the writing of this song and contributed." Becca said, walking back into the frame for a slight second, a proud smile on her face.

༊*·˚

"The birds are trying to eat my food!" Becca yelled out, a loud laughing coming from Alanna as she filmed her best friend shoo away the birds. The two girls were now outside, their breakfast in front of them as they sat on the porch, from which they had a nice view of the lake.

"Becca, don't hurt them!" Alanna said from being the camera, making the girl in question look at her like she was crazy.

"They're going for my food, Lana." There was a cut after that, and then the two girls were sitting around a round table as they slowly ate their food.

"Can I introduce this song?"

"Even if I say no, you'll do it anyways, Becky."

"Damn right I will. Anyways, guys, the next song is called 11 feet behind!" Becca announced to the camera giggling a bit after saying the title of the song. "What's that song about, Lana?" She asked with wiggling eyebrows.

"That song is about always feeling like you're always behind in your relationship. Like people know more what's going on in your relationship than you do, which, fucked up for one, and two really sucks, because it makes you feel like you mean nothing to your partner."

"Guys, let me tell, my girl did not hold back with this one." Becca giggled while talking to the camera. When Alanna had told her best friend she'd be using Trevor's number in one of her song titles, the girl gasped, calling her crazy because of it.

"I am speaking the truth."

"I'm so proud of you, lanny." Becca said randomly, looking over at her best friend. Alanna laughed a bit before giving the girl a big hug, laughing a little.

༊*·˚

"We're getting Starbucks!" Becca yelled out as the next clip started, Alanna's laugh being heard once again. The two of them were now in the car, Becca driving as the other girl sat in the passenger seat, holding the camera so they were both in frame.

"Which is like totally crazy 'cause the next song was written in a Starbucks."

"What a coincidence."

"Right!" The two girl joked, their chuckles echoing in the car before Alanna focused back on the task at hand. "Anyways, it's called Friend Stealer. Long story short, it's about getting dumped by a guy so he can go date one of your friend, that he met through you."

"Snakes." Becky could be heard whispering in the back.

"And the reason why it was written in a Starbucks is because I just wanted to leave my house, get some caffein, and as I was just sitting there thinking about the whole thing, the lyrics just came to me. So, I wrote them down in my notes, typing like a crazy lady on my phone."

"She was gone for like three hours, I was so worried!" Becca said, making Alanna roll her eyes slightly.

"Okay, that's a bit dramatic, I was gone for like, forty-five minutes maybe."

"Still scared me."

"Moving on, that song was probably what helped me really get over my break-up, well more like started the whole moving on process. I was really just writing what I was feeling and yeah, that song was born. It was the first one that I found the melody for, but I think it was like, the forth I wrote, and that's when I decided I was making an album." The singer explained with a shy smile, recalling the happiness she had felt after finally writing out all her anger.

༊*·˚

"We're back in the car! Becky, what'd you get, girl?"

"I got a grande iced coffee with a splash of cream, two pumps of vanilla and two pumps of hazelnut." The girl explained her order, shaking her drinks around. "How about you, m'lady?"

"I got the same as always, my sir. A venti brown sugar oatmilk shaken expresso, only three pumps of brown sugar, three pumps of white mocha and no cinnamon."

"For all of you who didn't know, Lana's my sugar mommy, and she paid for my drink." Becca spoke, grabbing the camera for it was focusing on her. Her best friend scoffed a bit before bringing back to camera on her as Becky started to drive.

"Killing us softly is the name of the next song we're gonna be talking about. The title pretty much says it all, it just talks about how someone in a relationship just doesn't care enough and it's slowly killing their relationship." The clip cut right after the girl was done talking, and the next clip was of her sitting in her bed, filming on her phone with her headphones on.

"Guys, my camera died, oops. And at first Becky and I were gonna go to Target, well we still did, and film the next song in the car. Obviously, we couldn't do that, and my dumb ass forgot to like, go to the song we were gonna do in the car. So, here it is!

It's called mascara stained cheeks, once again, title says it all. But, it goes more into details about how toxic my relationship with my ex got, and how much he made me cry. Small reminder, that crying often in a relationship because of your partner, is not a healthy relationship, never has been and never will be. With that being said, next clip! Wait no, disclaimer, I got a little lazy with these, oops again, so the clips are pretty short. Okay, now, next clip!"

༊*·˚

The two girls were now laying on their chests on sun bathing chairs. The camera was set up on a small table in front of them as they both pushed themselves up on their chairs.

"30 seconds. Wanna do the honor's of explaining this one, Becky?"

"Yes please. This song is about how much of an asshole mister tiny dick was."

"Becca!"

"What? He was. Mister tiny dick broke up with my goddess of a best friend over a phone call, that lasted a solid 30 seconds." The Rivera girl explained, as Alanna gave her stern look.

"Becky, I'm gonna get demonetized because of you."

"Not my fault he had a tiny dick."

"Becca!"

༊*·˚

"Guys, it's editing Lana here again." The girl said, once again sitting in her bed. " So, apparently, none of my footage for the next three songs saved, yay. So, I am gonna have to do this little explanation segment again.

Okay, crushed mind. My baby, the second song I wrote, uhm, I pretty much got emotionally cheated on, so, my mind crushed. Oh my, God, I suck at explaining when I am alone. I feel so awkward just talking to my phone. Ugh, anyways, yeah, I don't know what else to say for that one.

Moving on, i miss u, this one I'm gonna explain so good, just watch, well listen... and watch. It's about missing the person your partner used to be, feeling like they've just become this whole new different person than the one you feel in love with. Which hurts, a lot. But, you know, people change, you can't get mad at people because of that... but you can write songs about it." The girl said, giggling slightly at the end.

"Last song that vanished, spinning circle, talks about conversations with my ex, would just be a spinning circle, I know the saying is like cycle or whatever, but the circle part is explained in the song. I can't tell you right now though, 'cause then I'm... I'm spoiling the like plot twist in the lyrics. Anyways, my camera figured itself out after that clip, so yeah. Back to Lanny and Becky from a week ago."

༊*·˚

The two young adults were sitting on the paddle board, which was tied to the dock so they didn't float away. The sun was beaming on them as their wet skin reflected the light slightly.

"I felt a fish touch me!" Becca gasped just as Alanna was about to speak.

"It's a fish, it's not gonna kill you."

"No, but you know what will, forgiving." Becca said, winking at the girl, clearly proud of herself for the word play. "Get it? 'Cause the next song is... forgive."

"Go you, girly. Forgive, is about forgiving myself for the pain I caused myself during the end of my relationship. Like, I knew it wasn't healthy and all, I knew I should've broken up with him, but I didn't. And it ended up hurting me a lot, and I wrote that song last, kinda like a letter to my past self, forgiving her for making me hurt."

"If any of you though it was about her forgiving mister tiny dick, you weren't alone. I though so too, and I almost wacked her when she told me." Becca said, using the nickname she had for Trevor once again. "Don't look at me like that, you're not gonna get demonetized!"

༊*·˚

"Okay, friends, it's now bedtime for us. We decided not to film after dinner, because we ended having a little heart to heart in the car after, and we just didn't really feel like it. So, we're gonna speed run the last three."

"Heist!" Becca called out. The two best friends were once again in the bathroom, now doing their nightly skincare.

"Going on a heist to get the smallest bit of attention from your partner." Alanna answered.

"heart n soul."

"How hurt my heart and soul were after my break up."

"Last one, tired of u!"

"Tired of... them. Yeah! No, uhm, I am gonna take a little more time on this one since it's also the name of the album. Tired of u, is just about how tired I was of how my old boyfriend was treating me and acting around me. And the reason I picked that name for the album, is because it really describes how I feel towards him still, and our relationship, even now. Overall, just tired of everything related to my old relationship, the media, the comments, just all of it."

"I got tired of him, too, Lanny." Becky said right before the clip cut, making the singer chuckle slightly.

༊*·˚

"Okay friends, we're now in our matching pjs, and we're gonna go to sleep now. So, thanks for hanging with us today."

"Don't forget to go pre-save the album!"

"And yeah, I'll see you guys soon. Bye bye!" Alanna said before leaning in and pressing a kiss to the lens, which Becca than repeated.

: ̗̀➛ comments

user80 the way every time she vlogs she always struggles with the camera- she's so me

user001 so excited to hear these songs, all of them sound so interesting !!!

user719 guys i think she's gonna release sunset chasing as a single before the album drops cause she did the whole album in order, expect for i regret you everyday and sunset chasing

user412 @/user719 OMG YOU'RE SO SMART alannaoregon @/user719 shhh bestie you're gonna ruin the surprise user719 @/alannaoregon OH MY GOD OH MY GOD HIIIII

[wrongcaitlyn]

need more apollo and darren lore to see if i can relate them to back to december

you can ONE HUNDRED PERCENT relate them to back to december if you just ignore the tiny detail of them not breaking up in december (but like, who cares because it’s the VIBE that matters and in this case the vibe is definitely accurate)

i will definitely be adding more apollo and darren lore…let’s just say… archery world championships happening soon…. olympics in one year…. kayla’s an icon mastermind…..

but! some little notes in specific relation to back to december

i know you may think this is apollos pov, but after looking over the lyrics again to refresh my memory… it’s from darren’s perspective. 100%

I'm so glad you made time to see me / How's life? Tell me, how's your family? / I haven't seen them in a while

apollos family!! not referring to his dad. duh. but darren’s prob just talking abt like the 1-2 times he met will and austin as babies, he hasn’t seen them since so “a while”…. sure darren, that might be a bit of an understatement

You've been good, busier than ever / We small talk, work and the weather / Your guard is up and I know why

small talk is SO real with them. they’re so awkward esp rn. they don’t know how to talk to each other. apollo says “nice weather we’re having” completely unironically and darren responds “oh yeah it’s nice”

cue silence for like 2 minutes until apollo asks how his coaching is going and more and more stilted conversation

AND!!! they’re both busier than ever!! apollo returning to being employed (kinda? i mean, he has a job so) and darren with olympics being next year

Because the last time you saw me / Is still burned in the back of your mind / You gave me roses and I left them there to die

i don’t wanna spoil exactly how they broke up… bc me and wronghuntress had like an hour long convo abt pollen lore a few weeks back and. guys. when i tell you i am SO fucking excited to write it‼️‼️

HOWEVER. this line. is very. very. very. fitting. from darren’s pov that’s all i’m saying hereeee

bc ik in one of the other chapters i said that apollos like “i ruined his life” and he DID but also like. it’s messy. it’s so very messy.

So this is me swallowin' my pride / Standin' in front of you sayin' I'm sorry for that night / And I go back to December all the time

not technically in front of him but!! the phone call!! abt kayla!! him swallowing up his pride, and there wasn’t necessarily an apology for the… things that happened, but it’s a step forward

It turns out freedom ain't nothin' but missin' you / Wishin' I'd realized what I had when you were mine / I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright / I go back to December all the time

change it to march and make darren a singer instead of an archer and this would be one of his songs😭😭

These days, I haven't been sleepin' / Stayin' up playin' back myself leavin' / When your birthday passed and I didn't call / Then I think about summer, all the beautiful times / I watched you laughin' from the passenger's side / And realized I loved you in the fall

god… this timeline is actually SO real. if anyone’s making a pollen playlist out there (i should probably do that when i have timeHDKDJD) THIS SONG‼️‼️‼️

anyway ofc apollo is associated with summer in darren’s brain… and also apollo def thinks of summer too when thinking of darren :)

and oh yeah, ofc apollo’s in the passenger seat. bro probably grew up with drivers and doesn’t have his license.. rip sun chariot!!! (he gets his license eventually, ofc, but only bc it’s to drive will to school)

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile / So good to me, so right

But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right

i mean, do these even need to be explained? well darren, i can assure you that you WILL love again. it’s what we all need

okay so. i can’t really. explain the rest of this stuff. but here are the lyrics that stand out to me SOOO much because of how they broke up. that is all i can say for now!!

And then the cold came, the dark days / When fear crept into my mind / You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

And how you held me in your arms that September night / The first time you ever saw me cry

thank you so much for the ask!! it’s been a while since some pollen content but i swear it’s coming soon :))

[dalesramblingsblog]

A More Personal Sort of Ramble

Hi. Let's talk about 2023.

It has, actually, been a while since I sat down and did one of these types of posts, so forgive me if I'm a little rusty. Or, if we're being honest with ourselves, Twitter threads, since it's actually been so long that it dates back to the time my main online presence outside of the WordPress blog was actually on that godforsaken cesspit of a website.

(Now, of course, we have upgraded to *this* godforsaken cesspit of a website.)

So this year has been... a lot. For once in my life, however, I don't actually mean "a lot" in a negative sense. On the contrary, this year has, to put it bluntly, probably seen me at the happiest I have been since my depression really started to kick in in earnest back in 2015.

There are the obvious indicators we can point to, namely the fucking insane traction that the blog has gained. A little under 2400 views in a year may be peanuts to some, but when you consider that that's very nearly equal to the amount of views my site gained across the entirety of 2017 to 2022, it's a level of growth that I couldn't be happier with.

And part of that growth has been the migration to Tumblr, which went far better than I could have ever hoped for. In all honesty I probably should have come here sooner, given the generally more blogging-supportive ecosphere that exists, but it's better late than never I suppose.

More importantly, though, I wrote a lot, and was actually very happy with much of what I wrote. 2023 has been the first year where I can honestly say that I didn't immediately feel disdain for a post upon hitting Publish, and I can't overstate how huge that feels.

And really, that's what this year has been about. I am not in the habit of airing every part of my personal life these days in the way I did back in 2020 or 2021, for the simple reason that my audience has expanded well beyond the few devoted online acquaintances I had back in those days. Suffice it to say, however, that I am doing very well, and I am happy in my own skin for the first time in a very long while. I have dreams for the future that can actually qualify as, well, dreams, as opposed to general dread-filled nightmares and apocalyptic visions that'd make Frank Black blush.

And through it all, there's been my audience, who I genuinely consider to be one of the best small corners of the Internet. I'd like to take credit for the vibes not being abysmal, but the truth is... the bulk of that credit belongs with you folks, not me. So thank you, genuinely.

As with most of these longposts, there's the self-serving Ko-fi plug to get through; it can be found here, as always. Even if my hope of actually making some money from these scribblings of mine remains a far-flung dream, however, rest assured that I'm not going to stop any time soon. We might have finished the bulk of the Virgin stuff, but we're only just beginning to wade into the BBC Books years, and I hope you'll stick around with me to see what the future holds for Dale's Ramblings in 2024 and beyond.

Thank you all for being simply incredible. You're all damn fine people, and I'm forever glad to have your readership.

[little-whats-her-name]

@nationmckinleyscorset made some great points in this post but the thread was getting quite long and complicated so I'm gonna put my thoughts/response here

Glad I'm not the only person who noticed this! I didn't want to be the first person to bring it up but now that you've said it... It's just the perfect balance of seriousness and humour!

I love the comparison to As Long As He Needs Me (I had never heard the song before and had to listen to it on Spotify but it's perfect) because although it's only touched upon in The Stuff, that's similar to how I see Mae's thinking.

I really appreciate finding other people who like The Stuff, as it is a very niche brand of humour that can easily be mistaken for making fun of abusive relationships. Granted, I didn't understand this form of humour when I first listened to The Stuff, but I grew to enjoy it.

"That dancer" is Neve Campbell AKA the star of The Craft and in the Scream franchise Christian Campbell's (Jimmy) sister. And due to the fact that RM was made in 2005, before Frozen and The Good Place, Neve was the most mainstream actor they had in the film and so they promoted her as much as they possibly could, to the point where people watched it on Showtime expecting her to have a lead role (they wanted her to have a lead role, but by that point most people had been cast, and almost all the female leads flirt with Jimmy at some point and they were like yeah nah that's gonna be weird, so they changed Mr Poppy to Miss Poppy and had it be a cameo role) and were disappointed when she was only in the movie for five minutes.

Yes. He always has 💅🏻 vibes. Even in the original 1936 one when it was meant to be serious. Idk maybe boys in the 1930s were just like that

According to IMDb (which I think got their info from the DVD commentary, I'm not sure, I have yet to own it on DVD), they were meant to be in "various states of undress", some fully nude, but when it came to filming time, no one wanted to show any skin. So let's all be grateful for the shyness of those extras 🙏

😂 Wonderful point! I never thought of it that way!

Ice packs weren't around in the 1930s and back then it was (and still is) commonly thought that both raw and frozen meat draws out water build-up, which reduces swelling. Over time, we have learnt that the reduction in swelling is probably due more to the temperature than the meat itself and that raw meat can contain a lot of harmful bacteria. Judging by its malleability and the thwap sound it makes against Mae's cheek when she turns it over, the steak is almost definitely raw 🤢

Can we take a moment to appreciate the costume designers for perfectly matching the colour of Mae's dressing gown to the steak on her eye? It tells so much about Mae's character, I can picture her thinking "I have to stop the bruising, all I've got is this steak, maybe if I match my lingerie and make it look as though I'm just using the steak as an unusual accessory - all the rich people have unusual accessories - everyone will be so impressed with my fashion sense that they won't question what else the steak is for." Alas, things never work out that easy for Mae.

Sally is so hot, despite literally everything. I don't think Amy Spanger fully comprehends how hot she was as Sally. She did an incredible job. Everyone in Reefer Madness is attractive in a "why am I attracted to this?" way. Seriously, I haven't seen casting that good since the live-action Scooby Doos with Linda Cardellini.

Yes!! She and Mae are the only characters to have the same first name and surname as their 1936 counterparts. Which, in Mary's case, I find hilarious since no one when writing or directing or filming thought "Hey Mary Lane kinda sounds like Mary Jane, slang for the same drug we're trying to associate with all evil". Kevin Murphy and Dan Studney turned a unintentional goof from the original film into the heartwarming masterpiece that is Mary Jane/Mary Lane.

Mary Jane/Mary Lane wasn't in the musical but they created it for the movie-musical so they could enter it for the Emmy for Best Original Song AND THEN THEY WON THE EMMY FOR BEST ORIGINAL SONG. They went up against blockbuster Hollywood films and they absolutely deserved that win. I still reckon Kristen Bell should've gotten the Emmy Best Supporting Actress (I don't count Mary's role as supporting, but that was the name of the nomination) but tbh I would give everyone in RM Emmys and Tonys. Don't ever make me in charge of the Emmy and Tony awards, I would absolutely add in extra votes.

[ladyazulina]

Find the Word

Thank you so much @tc-doherty for tagging me! 💙

My words were desired, quiet, plead, absent, and embrace, but for most of them I have to quit or add a few words to be able to find them in my projects!

And boy... how much I had to dig up to find a few of them...

Desired - Ethienne [Maya AU]

“We can’t deny the chemistry between you two!” Lady Goddess. I laugh, giving the audience time to calm down. The uproar fascinates me. Just before Flash, they were all up to win me, at least in their own hidden dreams. After Flash, well… It seems I'm great enough to be up next to the worldwide quickest hero. They're like a rollercoaster. But I'm glad I'm not driving lust anymore. I can thank him for that. “We don’t know each other,” I remember them, which appears to be something I have to do. “But you two already meet! Getting to know each other is the easiest step,” He nods to himself, forgetting the important thing of all. “As heroes?” I ask slowly, intoning each syllable on its own. He thinks about it, smoothing his hair. “I’m sure you two will make time for it.” I try not to smile too much. “I’m sure too,” Shaking my head a bit. These people are unbelievable. “What does Flash think about it?” “We can ask him later.” I laugh with the audience, clapping. I should take advantage of it, because I don't know when will be my next laugh. I didn't know how bad I felt until Flash took all the unnecessary burden off my shoulders. It's still there, a heavy backpack waiting for me to walk out off the stage. But for now, I'm free. For this moment… “I don’t want to be the first one that started with this!” He points out to the audience with the cards in his hand. Some of them stand up or raise their arms, they call out, clap, or ask. I can know what every one of them says, I can separate each of their vibes and understand them, all at once. But I don't do it. I don't do it because there is something about all their noise mixed that talks better than all their separate voices. The atmosphere of brotherhood. The sense of belonging to a community. The importance of everyone being heard even though it may be physically impossible. I am in front of an audience that started seeing me as an object of desire and turned me into a person who deserved their love, led by Takeshi. He also evolved his thinking way of me. And I can't help but ask myself: all of this was planned? The agency has a reason to not let me interact with the public, five years long and all can go down thanks to a talk show. It's a miracle I'm still sitting here after all I said. Or all I haven’t.

You can find the first chapter of Maya on Wattpad and Inkspired (warning, it still needs an edition, was one of my first translations to English). I still need to write an intro for this story here.

Quiet - Mimi

I start drying my hair as best I can and when I catch movement in the mirror, I look up. That red circle keeps drawing all the attention to me and there's no way I can arrange my hair to hide it. Too long to invent some strange hairstyle. Too even to get a few unruly locks. I sigh deeply. Something will probably occur to me. I run the towel over my arms and it's only then that I notice the red lines that cover them. They wouldn't be so obvious if my skin wasn't so white, if the cold of the water hadn't turned me pale enough to even see the path of my veins. I look up at the mirror again and there are the scratches. In my face. In my neck. In my arms. I can't help but purse my lips. Will I ever see you one night without ending up in pieces? I know the answer to that question, of course. Although it hasn't gotten strong enough to keep me up at night… sometimes. It doesn't leave me undaunted, but it doesn't torment me either. At least not all the time. Not to the degree it should. I can't do anything about the scratches from inside the bathroom, so I wrap the towel around myself, snug it up, and go to the door, flipping off the light switch before putting my ear against it. I know they're still sleeping, but I can't help it. At this moment, in which I have located the wound and it is irritably distinguishable, there for the view of whoever wanted (or not) to see it, I must be more careful. Even if they half wake up to go to the kitchen for a glass of water, or to come to the bathroom, finding me would be enough to wake them up. I cannot risk myself. Even if it seems stupid to put the ear to the door at five in the morning in a house that stays quiet until at least six.

Pleaded - How do you prefer to die?

TW: violence, physical aggression, animal death, blood, suffocation (I need to add something else? 😬)

I allowed myself to be distracted for a single second to admire it, to let that pleasant sensation flow that reminded me of who I am. A single second was enough… "Agh!" I had to drop the feathers to bring my hands to the arm that imprisoned my neck and took my breath away. The pressure was so great that my eyes watered and it made it difficult for me to see. I guided myself by the arm to try to reach their head, but I was very small. I didn't know where the jackal was and my mind was blank with panic. "Demonologist, how do you prefer to die?" I remembered each and every one of the cruel and vile ways we know to end a life, each one worse than the last, but the process was left blank. I was helpless, although it wasn't much different from how I felt all the time. I knew that I only had seconds to live and all I thought was how unfortunate I was: small, thin, and without strength, fearful to the core, dependent on my creations, unable to stand up for myself. "I don't want to die," I pleaded, but the sentence died with a sigh on my lips. I was maintaining a very fine thread of life when my body hit the cold and hard ground, barely aware of what was happening around me. Anubis was in a pool of his own blood. A tear fell from my heavy eyes, my thoughts prompting me to let go, overlapping sounds covering my ears. Still, the words made room. "Mylady, please resist."

You can find the short story on Wattpad and Inkspired.

Absently - Travelers

For greater comfort, or greater laziness, Jackson arranged the stack of books next to him, leaving the one he had just read behind his back. The pages of the next one gleamed gold as he took it, but he handed it over to Tiana and she brushed it aside without even looking at it. “Hey, what about that book?” “It's for babies,” Jackson explained with a grin. “Why are you giving it to me then?” His sister blurted out, suddenly annoyed. “I'm not a baby anymore!” “You're still a baby, you're playing with legos,” he pointed out. "Legos are not for babies!” She stood up, stomping, going to fetch the box. “Look! It says here that it’s for children three years and older!” Syphonee let them bicker, a little emotion in their conversations was good for the relationship. She didn't understand why a baby book would glow that way, or how any book could glow in general. Was it for real? Because she seemed to be the only one who noticed. Tiana liked shiny things and Jackson was crazy about rare objects, if they could see it they would surely realize it… right? “I'll go get some water before I continue.” “Will you bring me a lollipop?” “Why don't you have a snack now?” She suggested, half absently. “Can we?” She missed Tiana's sparkling eyes. “I think so, it's almost time,” and Jackson reading the clock. But she managed to stay alone in the room, without their voices, without their noises, only with her thoughts.

Nowhere to be found at the moment. I still need to write something about this story.

Embrace - Mimi

My mom comes out again with a teapot that has the same design as the cups, and she doesn't even have to start pouring for the aroma of jasmine to embrace me, feeling its sweet flavor on the tip of my tongue. She tucks her hair behind her ear as another playful draft passes by, taking a seat in the chair next to me before dedicating herself to filling both cups.

Open Tag! If you want to be on my tag list, let me know in reblog tags or replies ♥

The words are help, answer, love, fondness, and escape.

[coco-loco-nut]

The Captain’s Daughter (4)

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Reader/OC

Warnings: Angst maybe, sibling fluff, sadness, betrayal, fluff, implied sex

Summary: Maverick adopted Goose and Carole’s daughter, she’s one hell of a pilot, and Bob is smitten

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | alternate ending | part 4

masterlist

__________________

      "I thought you lived in an apartment?" Bradley says as she turns into the driveway. Nicole doesn't answer, just getting out of the car.

      "Martin, you just saw me," She laughs, scratching his back.

     "You got a dog?" Bradley is just confused. He looks around and sees a wedding picture hanging from the wall and he pales a little. "You didn't?" He says and Nicole stands up a little straighter.

     "Bradley. You never would have approved. I was happy and I still am. You are the first one we are telling," Nicole says as Martin starts to gently paw at Bradley's leg. She leaves out Bob's parents, it not being a crucial detail in the moment.

    "I guess I did make it seem that way. I'm sorry. I am happy for you, and I'm glad it's Bob. God, could you imagine Seresin? Phoenix is the only one who can really keep up with him," Bradley shakes his head after a few minutes of silence. "How long?" He looks at the photos closely.

   "A little more than two years," Nicole can see that Bradley is a bit upset, but choses to ignore it.

   "God, I just can't believe you got married first," Bradley laughs. He has a girlfriend, but he isn't rushing to tie the knot.

    "Dinner's done," Bob's voice rings through the hallway. Nicole leads Bradley through the house and to the back porch.

    "Bob," Bradley hugs his now brother-in-law.

    "Thanks for not killing me," He says a bit shyly.

     "The only one you need to worry about is Mav. I know that you wouldn't hurt her and you two keeping it a secret was for a reason. I don't even blame you, I'm just a little upset you didn't involve me in your conspiracies. You must have so much fun gaslighting everyone," Bradley laughs, sitting down and noticing the wedding rings.

   "Thanks. We have been debating telling you for so long. We just weren't ready for everyone to know," Nicole smiles softly. They all dig into their food while Bradley asks them questions about their marriage.

    "Amelia is going to be so excited," Bradley smiles.

    "Yeah, she's always wanted a brother," Nicole nods, purposefully annoying Bradley.

    "I'm excited to have siblings in general. In-laws or not, being an only child kinda sucks," Bob slightly changes the subject.

    "I dont know. I was doing pretty well until Butthead over here came along," Bradley shoots back. Bob gives his wife a small 'I tried' shrug.

    "Uh huh. Just for that I'm not naming my child after you," Nicole sticks her tongue out at her brother.

    "She isn't pregnant," Bob hastily adds before Bradley reacted.

    "Good," Bradley laughs it off, enjoying seeing his baby sister happy.

    The happy couple landed and were pulling up to Penny and Pete's new home. It was closer to Sarah since she and the Mitchell's frequently got together.

    "Please don't let your Dad kill me," Bob says, looking at all of them standing outside to greet them.

    "I'm more worried about him killing me," Nicole replies, grabbing Bob's hand and squeezing it after she parks the car.

    "Nicky," Maverick embraces her, holding her tight for a minute.

    "I missed you, Dad," Nicole hugs him back, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne.

   "Bob," Maverick extends his hand to the WSO, not asking any questions.

    "It's good to see you again Sir," Bob shakes his hand. Penny and Pete help unload the suitcases and bring them inside.

    "How is Hawaii and when can I visit?" Amelia walks between Bob and Nicole.

    "It's great, especially the local seafood and cuisine. I might never leave," Nicole smiles. Both she and Bob had golden tan skin from endless days in the sun.

    "Bob, right? You are Nicky's WSO," Amelia confirms."I love the best friend vibe with you two, especially since you fly together," She smiles, clearly shipping her sister with Bob.

    "Bob, we are always glad to see you, but we didn't expect you to tag along," Penny does her best to not sound irritated or mad. Bob was one of her favorite customers when he was still in San Diego. Everyone sits down in the living room. Bob and Nicole on one couch, Penny and Pete on the other, and Amelia vibing on a chair.

    "About that, Bob and I-"

    "You are dating. I knew it as soon as you two turned in," Pete cuts her off, but Penny and Amelia notice the guilty and ashamed look on Nicole and Bobs faces.

    "Actually, Dad, we are married. For two years now," a pin dropping could be heard as Pete processes the information.

     "How?" Penny breaks the silence. She is taking it a little worse than Amelia -who is over the moon- but so far better than Pete.

    "We eloped. No one knows, except Bradley who we told just before coming back here. It wasn't an easy decision to keep this a secret for so long. It hurt to not tell any of our family and friends, but at the same time it was easier this way," Nicole tries to explain, trying not to explicitly blame her fathers rule as a reason they kept it a secret.

    "That's so cool. It's like you two were undercover spies," Amelia tries to lighten the mood.

    "We were actually going to, uh, plan a vow renewal to serve as a real wedding for our families and friends since we decided to come clean," Bob adds, glancing at his lock screen. It was one of their wedding portraits. When they eloped, they hired a photographer, thrifted a wedding dress since Bob wore his whites, and got an officiant along with two strangers to witness. The really struck their luck with the photographer as the photos are beautiful.

    "That sounds like a wonderful idea," Penny smiles, already planning the second wedding.

    "You two are happy?" Pete finally asks.

    "The happiest," Nicole smiles, leaning into Bob a little.

    "Well, I guess there is no need to get upset over it. Especially if I will get to walk my daughter down the aisle," Pete decides, even if he is still a little upset. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief, especially Bob. They hadn't booked a hotel room just in case things went south.

    "I knew it! You two looked too close," Amelia comments. Nicole had forgotten that she tends to post on Snapchat.

    "I would actually kinda hope so," Nicole laughs, playing with the ends of Bob's hair.

    The week passed quickly, with them leaving on the sixth day to start their journey to Texas. Bob had grown close and fond of the Mitchell family, they returned the sentiment. Penny sent them on their way with snacks and a hug. Pete promised them and Amelia would visit soon. However, Bob and Nicole were more than ready to leave. The sexual tension was simmering between them. After not doing anything for a week, they were needy, which explains why Bob's hand is on Nicole's thigh as she thinks of everything she wants to do to him in the hotel while driving. The situation isn't helped by Nicole telling him that she wants to have his child. It's a good thing they booked a hotel near Bob's childhood home for the second week. They stop halfway for the night.

    "Robert, I need you," Nicole groans as they quickly find the bed. Bob, being more than happy to please, starts attacking her with kisses, grinding himself against her.

    "You like that, baby girl?" He growls. It's always the shy, quiet ones, and he is now a master at his job. Even after two years, things are just as thrilling as the first time.

   "Please, Bobby," Nicole whines, tugging at his hair. When they got to sleep, they only had a couple hours before they had to hit the road again. They were delayed leaving anyway since Bob suggested they save water and share a shower.

    The way there is much more relaxed since the mutual desire isn't costing the air. They sang through multiple playlists as Bob drove and he shared stories of being an only child. He told her more of his embarrassing stories, only so his mom didn't beat him to it.

    "Robby!" His mom greets him with a hug. They made it in time for a late dinner.

   "Hi, Ma. I want to finally introduce you to someone. This is Nicole," Bob smiles at his wife. It was nice having them know, even if it's taken so long for them to meet.

   "You are beautiful. Just call me Ma," Rebecca hugs her daughter, who happily hugs back. The two have conversed via letter for a while, they love each other already.

    "I'm so glad to finally meet you. We would've been here earlier but we never got enough leave," Nicole says, following her inside to find Bob's dad as Bob unloads the car.

    "Nicole? It that you?" George asks with a smile, pulling his daughter-in-law into a hug.

    "It is," she smiles, hugging him back. Rebecca noticed the little details, like how Nicole was wearing one of Bob's t-shirts from high school, and how Bob immediately relaxed more when she touches him. Or how they give each other the same look of adoration and Bob plays with her engagement ring, the one that was given to Rebecca from George.

    "So Ma, we were thinking of doing another wedding so all our friends and family could be there this time," Bob tells her and Nicole gets them in contact with Pete and Penny. Like the last week, their time off goes by too quickly and Nicole is piloting their plane back to Hawaii from San Diego.

    "Bobby. I really want to be a mom. These two weeks have made me realize it. I know we talked about it a bit in San Diego, but I'm committed to this," Nicole says out of the blue as Bob watches the radar. The blue ocean below them as they fly west.

   "Really?" he nearly chokes on air. They had been going condom-less for a while, but Bob always pulled out even if that's not an effective birth control method.

   "Yes, I think when we get back, it's time to make you a father," She flirts and Bob internally groans, feeling himself get hard.

    "Baby, there's nothing I want more than to put my child in you," Bob replies, his voice a little darker, having the same effect on his wife that she had on him.

    Neither of them really say anything on that topic, just letting the tension build until they are kicking Rooster out from house-sitting.

     A couple months later, they are scheduled to do their annual physical before a mission. Bob went first but had work to do on base.

    "Commander Floyd, is their any chance you may be pregnant?" the doctor asks, her voice a little confused as she goes over the results of a blood sample.

    "It could be possible, yes," Nicole replies, cheeks flushing.

    "Well, then I suppose a congratulations are in order. I have no issue with you flying as you are so early on. I will refer you to an OB/GYN on base, he is great. Other than that, you have a clean bill of health," the doctor clears her to fly. Seeing as she has nothing else to do today, Nicole pops by the drugstore and grabs a pregnancy test to surprise Bob with. Bob is on base all day so it's just her and Martin, when the test shows positive, Nicole starts planning.

     "Hey Nicole, what's up?" Penny asks over the phone, she is doing a conference call between Penny and Rebecca.

    "I'm pregnant! I haven't told Bob yet since he's on base, but I wanted to tell both of my mothers. I only had time for a quick call, but can you both keep it a secret?" Nicole asks, fiddling with the test. She had to tell someone, and Phoenix is out of the question. After both women agree, they hang up and Nicole finishes her reveal plan. She's almost done with dinner as Bob walks in, tired from the day. He approaches his wife and hugs her, resting his head on her shoulder.

    "I'm so tired," Bob murmurs. Nicole reaches up and plays with his hair.

    "I know. Dinner is done," she turns around and captures his lips in a soft kiss. Bob groans as she pulls away, just wanting cuddles. They sit at the table and eat, talking about their day. Nicole starts the dishes as Bob cleans the table and countertops.

   "Hey Bobby, do you mind grabbing something for me in my bag," Nicole nods to the one sitting on the table by the front door. As Bob walks towards it, she grabs her phone and starts filming.

    "Babe, there's only one thing in here- oh. Are you really? I'M A DAD!" Bob cheers and runs over to his wife. She quickly turns off the camera and sets the phone down before he can hug and kiss her.

   "I just found out," she laughs, giving him another kiss.

    "Nicole, baby, I'm so happy," Bob beams.

   "I can tell," Nicole brushes some of his hair off his face, both of them smiling at each other.

   "Oh my god, we gotta tell everyone," Bob is basically jumping up and down at this point. Nicole grabs her phone and pulls him to the couch with her.

    Their friends were just coming to terms with their marriage and deception, especially Nicole officially taking Bob's last name. When someone is told to report to Commander Floyd, there is usually a 'which one' question. So when they all got a simultaneous ping on their phone from a group chat with a video, there was plenty of shock to go around. The only one who wasn't that surprised was Rooster, he was told ten minutes prior with the rest of the immediate family. Not to mention, Nicole had told him they were starting to try.

    "Maybe we should join them, huh Nat?" Jake whispers in his girlfriends ear.

    "In your dreams, Jake," She whispers back, leaning a little more into him.

   "Uncle Rooster. How about that? Mav must be thrilled," Coyote claps Rooster's back.

   "He's more than happy about it. He's bugging me to start moving along," Rooster laughs, looking at his girlfriend from across the commons area. She's laughing with some friends.

    "It's a good thing the wedding do-over is next month. It will give him time to ramp up the pressure in person," Hangman smirks as Rooster scowls at him.

   "Alright, settle down boys. Congratulate Gatsby and Bob like normal people," Phoenix shakes her head.

    The wedding came and went, Gatsby flew less and less until she was grounded until coming off of maternity leave. That didn't stop her from climbing the ranks. She was promoted to Captain and put on her leave. She spent nights cuddling with Bob as he waited on her every whim, even with having an easy pregnancy he knew the toll it took on her body.

    Soon enough, Caroline Rebecca Floyd was born. She was spoiled by her family, blood and not. She made her appearances at Jake and Natasha's wedding, as well as Bradley and Ellie's. She was well behaved, but that may be from the constant attention from Bob. It had been hard for both of them to return to work and leave their daughter in the hands of a nanny, but the Navy needed their top fliers.

   Coming home to each other with Caroline made it worth it, of course that only happened because Bob was assigned back to Phoenix when Nicole wasn't able to fly anymore. Her favorite is when she walks into the nursery and Caroline is sleeping on Bob's chest, skin-to-skin. He loves coming home and seeing her singing and dancing around as Caroline looks on, smiling and giggling. They especially cherished their off days. As much as they love their home in Hawaii, the thought of moving back to North Island keeps coming up more and more.

    They did just that a couple weeks before Caroline had her first birthday. Nicole pulled some strings with Admiral Simpson and got them transferred back to Naval Base San Diego. Bob was going to return as an instructor for the time being, but Nicole was likely going to be sent on a mission soon.

     "This is our new home, Martin," Bob scratches the dogs head as they move the last box in. They had been shipping things to Pete and he's been putting them in the house with the help of Penny.

    Amelia, being a senior in high school, uses the clout of having four top naval aviators in the family to increase her popularity and grades. English assignment about someone you look up to? She can choose anyone, but usually uses her mother. For a physics class on aerodynamics, she used Bob for homework help. Rooster helped her ace her piano elective. Pete taught her how to operate a motorcycle and how to fly small aircraft. Nicole, although exhausted from work and raising a baby, made time for countless calls asking for advice on crushes, friends, and life in general. When Amelia revealed she didn't want to join the Navy (to the secret relief of everyone), her whole family was supportive. And when she realized she wanted to take a gap year then offered to babysit Caroline most days of the week, Nicole didn't waste a second in accepting the help.

    "Hi, I just wanted to see if you needed any help?" Amelia asks from the doorway.

    "Hey Amelia, I'm pretty good so far, but Nicky might want some help. What are you doing here so early on a Saturday?" Bob smiles, inviting her in.

    "I was bored and Mom and Pete are out sailing," Amelia sits on the new couch she picked out. She and Penny handled most of the interior with the budget that Nicole sent. They got pictures from their home in Hawaii and Bob's 'secret' Pinterest to help select pieces.

    "That's one of my favorite photos," Bob leans over Amelia's shoulder as she holds a framed picture of Bob and Nicole walking on base in their flight suits. Phoenix took it and gave it as a gift.

    "I want something like you two have," Amelia sighs. Bob instantly switches to big brother mode, something he learned from Rooster. He listens as she complains about a guy who was a horrible date and girls who tease her for not partying when she has to study.

    "Amelia, you are so much of your mother, and Mav, and Rooster, and Nicole, and even a little bit of me. But most of all, you are yourself. One day, someone will encourage that and love you for it. It takes time, but you have lots of it. For now, just be yourself, anyone who doesn't like that is crazy and doesn't deserve to hang around you," Bob embraces his little sister in a hug. He is secretly her favorite, for obvious reasons. Rooster tends to have a stick up his butt, Gatsby tries to outperform and can be a bit of a show off, but Bob is Bob. He follows the rules but knows when to let loose, he knows how smart and talented he is, but doesn't brag or show off often. It's why he's more suited to instruct while Gatsby flies solo and grows her reputation. While Bob is happy to do that as well, he's also happy to watch and help others do just that.

    "Amelia!" Nicole cheers and comes over to hug her sister. Caroline just went down for a nap and Martin was enjoying the new back yard.

    "I've missed you, Nicky," Amelia hugs her older sister back.

         Bob and Nicole ended up having two more kids, Bradley Robert Floyd and Thomas Nick Floyd. It was easier to spend more time as a family as Nicole climbed the ranks and Bob fell in love with instructing at Top Gun. The tight-knit family were popular faces around the San Diego Naval Base. Both Bob and Nicole stayed with the Navy as long as they were allowed to. Caroline became a nurse within the Navy, Bradley was a college history professor, and Thomas became the next one in the Mitchell line to terrorize the Navy with his flying.

    Bob found it quite funny when Thomas was called to Top Gun. Nicole was the Admiral of the Pacific Fleet and acheived the rank of Admiral, the four-star kind. Bob remained a Commodore, so he would continue to have his teaching opportunities. Thomas was just as much of a troublemaker as his grandfather, so after meetings with a superior officer, he was sent to the Admiral’s office. 

    “Thomas, seeing your father wasn’t enough? Now I have to threaten to ground you,” Nicole says with a smile.

     “Sorry, Ma’am. It won’t happen again,” Thomas smiles back.

     “Lieutenant. This is your final warning. Get in trouble again, and it will be your wings and a dishonorable discharge. Unfortunately, I have a job to do and so do you. You were selected for TOP GUN so act like it. As your mother, I want to bail you out, but I can’t keep doing that. However, as your Admiral, I have to inform you that you are on your last chance. Take a page out of your Uncle Rooster’s book. Please,” Nicole hardens her gaze, letting it sink in. 

      “I really am sorry. I don’t want to get you in trouble. I really will do better,” Thomas sighs, hearing the information coming from his mom instead of his dad made it sink in more. 

      “I know. Just run things by me first, okay? You’re dismissed. I’ll see you at dinner,” Nicole softens. Thomas gives her a quick hug before returning to the hanger.

      True to his word, he didn’t get in trouble until after Nicole and Bob retired. Somehow, he got out of it.

        They lived long and healthy lives, and at the age of 96, Nicole finally got to join her parents in the afterlife.

_______ Taglist:  @luckyladycreator2 @nessjo 

[happyselves]

Wine { Daniel Ricciardo x reader one shot }

You were invited to a garden party, one of your neighbours was throwing one for the launch of his wine or something, you heard of it before receiving the invite in your mailbox. Weird cause you didn't really known anyone here since you just got here and that neighbour, he was never here but you know from his house that he was rich as fuck.

Anyways you weren't planning on going but free food convinced you, but what to wear now ... to a garden party ? At 7pm ... who does that ? He must be an arrogant prick. You were torn between a sexy dress or a chill outfit ... and you end up with a combination of both, a sexy top and a chill pants . You didn't forget your purse and took your keys, do you really want to drive there ? Well no you were living next door but you did make the walk barefoot cause you didn't want to have sore feet already.

You arrived at your destination and entered the huge house and gave your invitation to a security guy, he did look at you with questioning eyes cause first you still weren't wearing your shoes and secondly you weren't really the type of guest this reception was expecting. What the fuck were you doing here plus more you were actually looking more you didn't see any other neighbour that you recognize.( you didn't know them personal but you always greet them when you see them )

Your shoes back on you start to look around, pretty decoration, very aesthetic and very chic but simple, a bit like yours but you could see some helmets and paintings of cars ? Super cars like the one being driven on circuit ... Formula 1 it was called ... ohhh that would explain a lot about your neighbour ... he must be a F1 driver then. The curiosity was growing inside of you, you knew Lewis Hamilton from this sport, you mean ... knowing is a big word, you've heard his name and saw a picture of him from one of your friends somewhere. If all the drivers were as handsome as Hamilton then your neighbour was getting interesting. What was his name again dammit.

You found the food and took some, not too much to not sound like a bizarre person, you were already underdressed and you were alone, that does look suspect. Socializing wasn't really your forte but some of the guests came to talk to you, they were wearing chill outfits like yours, you felt relief in your heart, like a big weight lifting up, those you will stick to them all evening that was decided. They were his friend to that mysterious guy that you only remember the first letter D. So the friends of D were making you feel at home and asking you random stuff not pressuring you but making you feel so comfortable, so maybe D will not be a prick after all if his friends are this nice. One of his friends, Scott, directed you towards the true star of the party .... THE WINE !!

As soon as you tested it your taste buds went into paradise, the sweet texture, the raspberry taste that was prominent, you liked it right away and wanted to have more. During the whole evening you end up maybe drinking more than you should have and food wasn't making it better. You weren't drunk like a crazy drunk. You just felt more relaxed and laughed with D' friends until you excused yourself because you wanted some water and there was none in the living room. Scott points at you in the direction of the kitchen and tells him you will be back in a sec. His friends were so nice and it felt like you've always known them, they have the same vibe as you and you were already planning on seeing them again this week.

What was strange is that after all this time you still haven't seen the host of the evening, you thought he was speaking with everyone but you would have met by now, you were with his friend after all.

In your thought, the glass of wine in your hand you didn't see the tall person in front of you as you entered the kitchen and kinda crashed into him, the glass of wine ruining his cream pullover. Fuck ... you watch the red spot trying to clean it but you made it worse.

You : Oh I'm so sorry I was in my thoughts, my lord come down here.

You close your fist on his pull and bring him towards the sink without even looking at him or asking him if it was okay. The dude just follows you without complaining, you turn the water, get the closest thing you could get to help and clean it. You were so focused on the spot that you didn't notice he had put his hands on your arms, very warm hands and his chest was firm.

You : Nah take it off I won't be able to take the wine off on you.

Stranger : It's okay really

You hear his voice for the first time and what a voice, sweet like honey but deep as well, from what you could pick from it, he feels amused. You finally look up to see your interlocutor's face and you stay shocked at his, you couldn't react, you froze literally and your cheek went red ... he was handsome and you had way too many glasses of alcohol to behave like a normal being without being embarrassing. Trying your best to put some composure on you but of course he noticed it.

Stranger : We should introduce each other before you take off my clothes, don't you think ? He joked

You throw your name so quickly which made him giggle.

Stranger : Hi nice to meet I'm Daniel

He tried to shake your hand and that's where it hit you, Daniel !! Your neighbour Daniel, the host, the one with the wine !!! You were freaking out in your head but shook his hand

You : Oh I see, I was wondering where the host of the evening was, but I see hiding in the kitchen.

Dan : And I was wondering where the neighbour that my friend kept talking about was and invited me.

You were feeling the alcohol in you taking the place and you knew that the next phrase coming out of you will be out of character.

You : Well if I knew that you were this handsome and hiding here I would have come get water much sooner.

It was his turn to feel shy and scratch his hand, looking away from you he cleared his throat.

Dan : Well I know that's kinda impolite of me to not be with my guest but I've been on the phone all evening, it wasn't planned at all. I'm sorry, am I a bad neighbour ?

You : Don't apologize and you don't have to explain yourself, you are a busy man after all from what I saw. But not to sound too neat freak, your pull over might be ruined. I should be the one apologizing for that.

Dan : Oh it's okay it's not like it was my only clothes.

And with that he took it off, finally you whispered in your head, or by the face he just made you think it was in your head. Damnit ... again not in your head freaking wine

Dan : Ah I see you liked the wine ? I will give you some bottles then, free of charge in the house cause I'm a terrible host.

You both went silent, it wasn't awkward but he was curious about you and why you were looking at his chest like that ... he was wearing a white tee shirt underneath, not like he was naked.

For you it was the layered gold necklaces that threw you off, you loved men wearing jeweled jewelry especially because you had a thing for neck, large neck and god damn that an F1 driver had to have a large neck. You snapped out of it, almost feeling dizzy.

You : Wooo I'm sorry I zoned out ... I think it's the wine, I'm not a bad drinker but the raspberry touch in was my favorite.

You didn't notice you were getting closer to him, like night butterflies attracted to light, your hands were moving on their own, putting the wet tissue you had in one of your hands since you started cleaning his shirt, on the counter and bringing it to his necklaces playing with it. Daniel didn't move, he couldn't. It was like a flash of lightning was striking him down on his feet. He was looking at you helplessly, catching the counter with his hand to keep you both balanced cause he felt like his legs were about to give him up at this instant. That were he takes the time to admire you, how beautiful you were with that sunset lightning hitting you

from the window. His secondhand automatically pushed away the hair that was stopping him to look at your pretty face.

You : I don't know what's happening, you breath out

He heard you thought

Dan : I don't know either but it's not like I want to stop.

You lock eyes with each other and in a last movement you close your fingers against his necklaces, bringing him closer to you, collapsing your lips together, the taste of wine was intoxicating. He responds to your kiss instantly, slowly catching your lips and making you forget every kiss you had before him. You both were in sync, kissing slowly but deeply that it was sloppy. His hands were now on your hip, not letting you go and you were glad anyway cause you just couldn't have enough of this man. The romantic kiss turns to a more ferocious one, bringing teeth and tongue to the party. He was making you moan at every chance he gets cause it was already obsessed with the sound that was leaving your body. You were soon out of breath and had to make your lungs full of oxygens again so you were the first to break the kiss not without having him complaining with a groan.

Your eyes still close, you take a huge amount of air.

You : That was ...

You didn't had the time to finish

Dan : Unexpected

You both : but so good

You both opened your eyes at the same time, they were different from earlier, dark and full of lust for each other.

After a little while catching your breath you were both fighting the urge to kiss again but control yourself.

Dan : Well I'm so glad my friend invited you, they said I needed to know my neighbours, I thought they would invite everyone but I guess they only saw you.

You : Well I'm glad to have forced myself to come even if I didn't want to.

You both laughed and his hands joined yours on the counter, first caressing your skin before intertwining your fingers.

Dan : So do you think it would be impolite of me to just tell everyone to leave ?

That picked the curiosity in you

You : Perhaps yes, since you didn't even show up but I might have an idea.

Dan : I'm listening ...

You : You could simply eclipse yourself by the back door with a couple of wine bottles and I join you outside so we can go to my place and finish whatever is going on between us right now.

Dan : Ouuhhh I dig that plan a lot.

He quickly catch oyu lips before leaving them again

Dan : Meet you outside at 5 ?

You : Yes

You find your best lie to excuse yourself from Daniel's friends, telling them that the wine was getting into your head and that you needed to go home, it wasn't technically a lie though. Of course they ask you if you needed someone to come with you until you're home safe but you reassure them that it was only 200meters away and they let you go.

You felt like a teenager again, meeting Daniel outside of his own house, ruining as quick as you could to go back to your house and spend the most scandalous night you ever experienced with a man.

Masterlist

[littlx-songbxrd]

Ok I meant to answer you're question about what I thought of the show ages ago but I forgot.

I LOVED IT OMGGGG! I got so many kitty vibes from Wilhelm and Simon! The touching! The softness! It's those vibes exactly! I want that energy in TWP.

COMRADE SIMON!! We stan! That speech he made at the very beginning about the differences in attitudes towards "tax evasion" vs. "Welfare fraud." Legend behavior.

Sara!!!! My girl!!!!!! An autistic/adhd character PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS!!!! THIS IS SO HUGE!!! I would die for my problematic queen. I made an entire post on her but the gist is, I get where she's coming from and understand why she feels the way she feels but dear God girl make better choices and stay the hell away from August.

Speaking of.... I wanna run August over several times. Vroom vroom motherfucker. The fact that he

- filmed MINORS HAVING SEX AND TGE POSTED IT ONLINE

-kissed Sara behind Felice's back when they were still dating WITHOUT HER CONSENT BTW

- Wanted to blame Simon for the drugs because he knew it would be easy because Simon's family is lower class and doesnt have the same social standing as one of the "members of the society"

- Also it didn't escape my notice that the cult like faternety type group with all the rich, mainly white boys is called The Society. This shows commentary on class is vv interesting. Especially the little things like two girls just randomly advocating for THE DEATH PENALTY. The rich people audacity.

-Anyways back to August, when he tried to excuse his actions with Wilhelm and get all teary like no bitch you can't manipulate your way out of this one. And again with Sara! When he said "Wilhelm has everything" I wanted to scream! Like he's fucking closeted and clearly suffering from panic attacks and extreme anxiety you moron.

-Anyways!! I also think that Wilhem might be autistic because he just feels autistic. Like the vibes are there.

- The girl group is so sweet? And to have the popular girl be a Black girl who isn't "stereotypically attractive" with a more medium sized body and bad acne. As someone who has really bad skin I needed that. Felice is kinda awesome imo.

Let me see what else??

-Simon and his mom speaking Spanish consistently throughout the show. It sounded pretty natural to me? But I'm not a native speaker. (Or even fluent honestly lol.)

- Simon and Wilhelm are honestly so adorable and in love and it made my heart ache. (I am so touch starved I swear..)

-My only main beef is the outing plotline and the show using an outdated medical term for Sara, aspergers. It's literally just autism. Also it's kind of offensive because Hans Asperger was a n*zi who literally killed autistic children because they weren't useful to capitalism. SOOOO yeah.

As for the outing plotline, I feel like the cishets have like three plotlines that they use for queer stories. Outing/coming out, one of them dies, or one if them bullies the other until they both fall in love. It's tired.

But overall I really loved it.

HI SORRY I HADNT REPLIED

I wanted to correctly talk to you about this series so I logged in through my computer to make it easier for me :D

LOOK AT THIS POINT IVE RELATED THEM TO LITERALLY EVERY COMFORT SHIP I HAVE LIKE. I've compared this to kitty, I've compared this to Thomastair, I've compared this to my friends to ocs who she has obsessed me with (youd actually like them if you liked this tbh) IVE COMPARED ME TO MY OCS

BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I JUST LOVE THEM

IF KITTY DOESNT HAVE THIS ENERGY IN TWP WHAT WAS THE POINT

what was the point cc??

S I M O N

OH GOD WHEN HE SAID THAT I WENT OMG YEAH

new favorite character

Great

SHES PLAYED BY AN AUTISTIC ACTRESS?? Sorry I hadn't known! Haven't actually gotten to obsessively look at the cast I've been trying to get over the last episode BUT THATS SO COOL. SARA IS AMAZING AND I ADORE HER. I'll read your post after this! But of course STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM AUGUST GIRL PLEASE

Tbh I understood where she was coming from with everything with Simons image falling apart and her having to suffer when she had just started having friends , just after finding he had been lying to her. But love, AUGUST?

A U G U S T ???

WHO JUST FOUND OUT OUTED YOUR BROTHER

Also random and stealing this from @marzzinaa i totally hc Sara as a demi girl for some reason

Im kinda sad we didnt see her speak spanish as much we did simon :(

But oh well I LOVE HER AND YEAH STAY AWAY FROM AUGUST GOD

FAE WE RUN HIM OVER TOGETHER BROOM BROOM

You already said it all, I just agree

Ok I'll bring a machete you bring whatever you wish and we kill him sound good?

ALSO YEAH I TOTALLY NOTICED HOW THE ECONOMIC DINAMICS CAME INTO PLAY AND HOW IT BASICALLY LET YOU KNOW HOW THE PRIVILEGED ELITES COULD GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING

meanwhile they wanted to pass off to Simon who came from a lower class family the blame

Also I'd like to mention how that would also play into the stereotype latinos are all drug dealers

Which I love how they didnt make his dead beat alcoholic man the latino parent, when I first read the description I thought they might do that, but im so glad they didnt

I think it might have been a comentary idk i liked that they DIDNT make the poc parent the dead beat

THE FRIEND GROUP WAS SO COOL AND I LOVED ALL OF THEM AND YES FELICE WAS JUST <3

I love how they didnt make her stereotypically perfect AND YES MID SIZED REP WAS AMAZING TO SEE

Also im so glad you got to see that represented!!

So I am a native speaker and him talking to his mom MADE ME CRY

it was WONDERFUL I WANT MORE OF IT

pls most her phrases reminded me to my own mom

Autistic wilhelm you say?? omg tell me more (if you want)

Oh thats awful, well I'll just refer to Sara as autistic and hope the showrunners fix that next season because if they dont-

Yikes

Oh yeah, thats valid critisism. But in my opinion they actually wrote it pretty well so I wont really be complaining about an overall media problem with queer stories rn. If so I'll be here all day. But yeah its an overall problem but it wasnt done bad in my opinion so!

I'll shut up, for now

IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT FEEL FREE TO KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT WITH ME PLS ITS MY OBSESSION NOW IM GONNA BE ANNOYING ABOUT IT ALL MONTH

[yyxgin]

stray kids as girl group songs because i can't sleep on a monday night

series of the few girlgroup songs i know bc i only stan boygroups and mostly listen to just that,, followed by a short cute scenario inspired by that said song bc it's the middle of the night and i can't sleep 💫💓❣

all of the blurbs are like 100 words at most, no warnings i think ?? yeah :') mostly fluff. enjoy.

bang chan as really really by cherry bullet

okay but the lyrics to this are so cute and so chan 🥺🥺 like there's a line that goes like "even my insecurities turned into confidence" and if that doesnt scream channie to you then i don't know what will. like the song sounds just so cute and warm and like a warm hug in spring 💫☁️💓

"i really, really like you." you hear chan say, making your mouth hang open in surprise.

"me?" you ask.

"yeah, who else?"

"n-no, that's- i'm not that likeable-"

"stop it, y/n. you are the most likeable person i know and you bring me so much happiness and comfort every single day. so stop doubting yourself, you silly, okay?"

minho as not shy by itzy

you feel the blush on your cheeks deepen as he deletes the space in between the two of you, enveloping you in a tight hug. you see a butterfly fly around, much similiar to the ones in your stomach, making you softly giggle. "i like you too, chan."

okay is it just me or do itzy songs just scream minho energy ?? we stan confident queens. also their dance--- queens. okay. well, this song captures minho's confident attractive side the most i feel like 😎 like imagine a confident confession by our boy minho over here ??

"what do you even want, minho?" you furrow your brows in frustration and confusion all at once, waving your hands in the air.

"i want you." he says, gazing deep into your eyes.

you are left with no words in your mouth, breathing quickening at his gaze, his aura capturing you in a way you didn't know it could before.

"minho-"

your words are soon cut off by his mouth on yours, but you're glad, because you didn't really have anything to say anyway.

changbin as witch by the good girl cast

this song is a whole ass vibe my girls jiwoo and jamie snapped in this 🥵🥵 it's just has that badass dark vibe changbin radiates at all times (except from when he's in his soft zone lol) and like some good mafia aus can be written with this vibe but i don't do those so yeah here's a little something confusing

"what did i do?" asks changbin in the arms of the police, a deep smirk sitting on his lips.

"oh, you already know, young man." spits the policemen, bringing him into the car, leaving you watching him with eyes fierce, insides burning. this again?

"wait for me, babygirl, yeah?" yells changbin your way, his blonde locks falling into his eyes.

you ignore his calling. "i'm gonna come back. as always. yeah?" smirks changbin.

he's not the bad guy. or is he?

hyunjin as psycho by red velvet

ummmm- are we even surprised ?? no. he owns the psycho cover and i watch it at least 3 times a day for good luck and clear skin 💫😎 but like this song is about someone coming to ruin you and like be honest did hyunjin completely ruin you or are you normal

you dry the tears off your cheeks, a sad smile coming onto your features, feeling like a psychopath again, falling for his games and for his tricks, just like every time.

"you just love me too much, right?" smirks hyunjin, placing a hand onto your cheek, rubbing small circles onto it to comfort you.

you sniffle, scoffing. you are pathetic. so, so pathetic. but you're never going to change.

because you're never going to stop loving him.

"yeah."

jisung as fancy by twice

okay are we even surprised part 2 ?? he ate that shit up, like that 💫💓dalkomhan chocolate ice-cream-cheoreom nogabeorineun jigeum nae gibun so lovely☁️💟 lives in my head rent-free 24/7 and i listen to the fancy cover literally every single day (while aggresively skipping wooj*n's face) and i am not even joking at this point. and the VIBE ?? the VIBEEE ?? jisung and you being your each others first love and dhskskdn omg my heart-

"i like you so much." mumbles jisung into your neck, planting a soft peck on it in the process, making you giggle.

"i know. you tell me every single day." you say, looking into his eyes, feeling like you see the whole entire universe in them, gazing into them as if they answer the questions to everything there is in the world.

"okay. let me change it up a little, then," giggles jisung, pecking your lips, "i love you."

you stare at him in awe, euphoria of hearing him say those words for the first time taking over you, a wide smile appearing on your mouth. "i love you too."

felix as hip by mamamoo

okay are we even surprised part 3 like ummm that boy ate the choreo up 🥵🥰 umm yeah but hip and mamamoo in general are so cool and so is felix lmao (btw hip is the song that got me into kpop this march 🥺🥺) and like hip is about being who you are and respecting and loving someone with everything they are 💓💫

"sometimes i even wonder why you're dating me in the first place." you mumble, your hair greasy and your loose t-shirt falling over your hips.

"what? why would you think about something like that?" felix furrows his brows, confused about your sudden confession.

"well, a girl like me is no fit for a boy like you. you're all cool and stuff and here i am with my oily hair and loose clothes..." you gesture to your body, feeling embarrased by even bringing it up.

"you're cool too, stop that. i love you just the way you are." he smiles, pecking your lips, suddenly making all your worries dissapear.

seungmin as lovesick girls by blackpink

okay i don't know what it is but this song just screams seungmin to me,, like the idea of knowing you'll get hurt by love but still wanting it nonthless, needing love and desiring it... also,,the vibes of like the evening summer city just sit so well with seungmin in my opinion

you put your legs out of the window of the going car, singing at the top of your lungs, passing the lamposts and counting how many of them are on the long highway.

you turn around to look at seungmin on the driver's seat, humming the song with you, looking at you once in a while, his heart beating fast at the presence of you in his car this late at night. he promised himself he's not going to fall in love again, but you weren't making it any easier for him. he was born to be alone, but you make him feel like loneliness is not the answer.

"i never want this moment to stop." you blurt out, amazed by the empty highway.

"yeah," sighs seungmin, watching you for a just a few seconds to still drive safely, feeling his heart combusting at the way your hair blows in the breeze, "me neither."

jeongin as la di da by everglow

retro vibes and jeongin = 💫💫💫 yes yes yes. anyways, umm idk this song just makes me think of like the hated couple walking along the night city when it's the carnival or something and everyone's just staring at you and gossiping bc they are jealous,,but you two don't care bc you just love each other too much 🤪❣

you turn your head to kiss him in the line for the carousel, seeing the disgusted faces of your classmates gossiping somewhere in the distance.

"people are staring again, jeongin," you whisper, looking to the ground.

"they are just jealous, baby. let's go, it's our turn." he giggles, taking you by the hand and pulling you to the carousel, making you laugh in the process as you get on and get prepared to yell your lungs out on the ride.

yeah, jeongin was right.

they are just jealous. let them know how much you're enjoying yourself.

[quinn-tessence]

Nocturne for a Clown

Part 3

Summary: you're tormented by the realization Arthur is the killer clown on the news, yet no bone in your body feels any different for him. Not even Casanova's advances could sway your from wanting to hold Arthur in your arms and alleviate his sorrow. He's had a bad day, and retreats on your couch, broken and confused.

Length: 5k words

Warnings: mentions of murder, lack of remorse, guilt and grief, seeking comfort where he'd never had it from. Smut with dear Arthur that could cause a rush of tremors, be warned. 🤭❤

----------------

You sat and watched. Then watched and watched some more. There were no words, no voice, no sound coming through your gaping mouth as the skin on your lips almost started to crack. It made sense. The blood, the bruise, the liberating sex, the wretched guilt. Oh God, what has he done?, you repeated in his voice over and over, that impossible puzzle putting itself together before you as you hid your gouging eyes underneath heavy, sweaty palms in a much too similar reflex to his own.

What has he done? He'd been beaten down surely, given his frail nature you could see how he'd be fluent in being at the receiving end, but as grievous as the thought was, it made it no less valid. This was bad, he’d land straight into Arkham if you picked up that phone to call the authorities, the way a considerate citizen would, as if Gotham deserved any at all. But you weren't one of them, were you? Never had you really fit in, yet you tried for the sake of appearances, it had become so burdening of late, only the thought of Arthur could provide the comfort you'd been seeking.

The news reports kept blaring, yet all your compassion overflowed for the clown, had you been able to see things objectively you'd still think he was hero. Three fewer assholes in Gotham, only a million more to go, you heard an inner voice say, even if you knew that was enough reason to throw you into the depths of Arkham Asylum. You'd sadly known that place from family, and you never wanted to set foot in that Tartarus again, but perhaps the apple didn't fall far from the tree. You couldn't stomach the thought of Arthur sitting opposite the glass wall from you, so dozed up on sedatives he'd hardly even recognize you. No, no, no. You wouldn't let that happen, and yet he'd need his own time and space to process.

You resisted the urge to bang on his door and ask for a full account, it felt as if you were a passenger on a derailing, speeding train. Regardless of how breathtaking the turquoise water under the rails, your gut wrenched at the thought of plunging into it head first. You were a decent swimmer, but you knew you’d be incapable of fighting those waters from swallowing you whole. You'd just given yourself to him, entirely and shamelessly, and regret was nowhere in sight. Had you been the forth prey of his killing spree, he would have killed you already. Yet he did the exact opposite, in distress and quivering like a leaf, but it was your door he opened after his rupture. He trusted you to keep this secret for him. And you welcomed the trust.

Within a few days you noticed you'd returned to your bad habit of unconscious nails biting. As if the deafening tumult between your temples wasn't enough, you also had to self flagellate as you desperately waited in silence.

You were busy enough at work, and the newest addition to your team had become daring enough to invade your private space little by little. Tall. Lean. Broad shouldered. Curly caramel hair and eyes of obsidian, winking at you shamelessly each time he passed by you. Patrick was a force in his field, yet he rolled his eyes and tongued his cheek whenever you'd call on him for a task, as if wanting to taunt you. Quite quirky and unprofessional, but restrictive enough to question yourself if you were merely projecting. Not once had he failed to deliver, on the contrary, yet that sly attitude never left him. Hm. The distraction was welcome, but it was nothing more. You'd catch yourself staring through him, picturing sparkling emeralds and cocoa, having to snap yourself back to reality before he'd think it was him you were aching for just like all your infatuated colleagues.

He must have checked with your giggly girlfriends before casually slipping in an invitation to your favorite bar after hours, casual drinks with a few colleagues, of course. Perhaps you should have politely declined, but you needed the respite from the heart wrenching torment, even if just for a few hours.

As empty as the venue was, he insisted on strolling in your visual field, intriguingly charming, maybe a bit too charismatic. It was time to maintain a level of dignity with your colleagues and remove yourself before getting into a state where you'd find yourself in Arthur's apartment, this time fully conscious. Yet Patrick gallantly offered to drive you over, posing a certain concern for your safety alone in the streets with a murdering clown on the loose. HA! You giggled at the joke being on him, silently talking to yourself. No thank you, you rascal, protection from that clown is the last thing I need. He insisted on paying for the taxi at least, and you’d had two drinks and wanted to be home already.

The thunderstorm washed the streets rapidly as you entered your building. You loved ravenous thunderstorms, especially as they traversed the sky over your cozy apartment bathed in lily scent. You took comfort in the hot shower and the chilly air in the room, lightning bolts clearing up the sky for a flash of a second as you wrapped yourself in the bathrobe, ready for Murray's dry humor.

Oh God! Your heart leapt to your throat as a soaked silhouette bathed your floors in cocoa flavor. At last.

‘Arthur! You scared me!’ he lay motionless, your words passing through him as if he wasn't even there. ‘Is everything ok?’

His damp fingers absently traced a faint line over the glass of your coffee table, his body slouched and stiff, the edges of his hair dripping on the couch.

‘I had a bad day.’

The words had come from a deep dark pit inside his chest, a wretched misery draped across his face as you kneeled next to him, cupping his cheeks. You'd ached to see his sparkling jades, yet you'd met them covered in a thick coat of tears, on the edge of dropping.

‘Arthur, what happened, sweetheart? Talk to me, please' He was so tired and withered, not even the wicked cackle would surface in this state.

‘I had a bad day…’

‘You said that, sweetheart, tell me what happened. Are you hurt?’

‘Kitten. I've done something… I…’ for seconds he tried to articulate, but the cackle fought its way up his throat.

‘Arthur shhhh. I know it was you. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I won't force you… I won’t judge you for it, I promise. Just sit with me for a second’ his head already leaning on your chest, your palm caressing his piercing bones, even through sets of clothes. He sat sedated, limbs heavy, flesh trembling, voice cackling in wrenching anguish for what felt like minutes on end.

‘You do?’ he asked between ruptures as if to steer his initial subject into whatever you'd conveniently brought up.

‘I do. I knew it the moment I heard the news after you stormed out. I saw the blood and the bruise on your face. You won't find any judgement here, I promise. I know you needed time to process, but you’re here now. Shhh' you almost cradled him in your arms, the most powerful instinct to protect him even from himself overbearing. He was all bone and sinew, like a hungry lone wolf, but there now was a sinister vibe to him.

‘Good. I'm glad you know. I lost my job that day, and then they attacked me in the subway, beating me to a pulp. Hm. Now you'll know that killing them hasn't bothered me at all. How's that for casual conversation?’

An unnerving tremor slid down your spine at the tone of his voice. You'd known him for a while, yet this resentful sneer was far from something you'd expect from timorous Arthur. Dreadful it's what it was, spine-tingling, intriguing, you were utterly mad to clasp this deranged man to your bosom when another prince charming just waited for one damn look from you. Who cared, you thought, Gotham’s gonna claim all of us sooner or later.

‘All I want is for you to be safe, Arthur. I won't tell anyone, but you need to be careful, sweetheart, you can't be saying things like those to anyone, please'

‘I have no one to tell, Y/N. And you’re not just anyone. You know. I’m still here, although you could have thrown me in police custody for the past few days.’ The cackles had given him a short respite, even if still lingering on the edge of bursting. He wheezed heavily before speaking. ‘My whole life I didn't even know if I really existed. And today, I feel… hollow…’

You'd asked and asked again as you touched his face and held it close to yours, his forehead as cold as the thunderstorm outside this comforting protective bubble.

‘My mother had a heart attack. She's in the hospital. Hah. My mother…’ a late instinct turned your skin to prickles hearing him speak from a different octave, a thick air of mustering resentment filling the room. ‘I had a few days to myself and I decided to deliver a letter to Thomas Wayne from her, seeing how he never bothered to write back. I'd told you she worked for him 30 years ago, and I read it although I shouldn’t have. I'd never known my father, but the letter said it was him. I confronted my mother and she told me everything about the two of them. But… instead of some warmth or a bit of decency, he told me my mother was insane and that I had been adopted. That and a punch to the face is what I got. Hm. Who am I, then? You tell me'

Your own eyes on the brink of overflowing, your soul coiled. You couldn't do much, but he needed comfort. Where would you even start, though? His tone of voice, the grief weighing him down, the droplets off his wet hair disintegrating whatever pieces were left of him, a question mark in stead of whomever he thought he'd been his whole life. Yet he didn't expect comfort. Such a foreign concept to him, as if reserved only to an elite he was not part of and would not dare intrude upon. You could easily hear how he'd just laugh it out into his pillow at night, his cries stifled, lacking a corner of privacy and personal intimacy where he could really build up that forced smile he'd put on every next day. You’d go utterly mad if you were in his shoes, no comfort and no expectation of it. So used to being overlooked, deep down he knew he was alone, and that filled him with fear and hopelessness. So you shushed and nuzzled him to your chest, hoping the warmth of your body would be soothing enough for the chaos that he was.

‘I don't know who I am, kitten. So I went down to Arkham and stole my mother's file just to find that he'd been right. The… horrors… she subjected me to as a child had gotten me locked up in Arkham years ago, but now I think I was just trying to hide from her, from this rotten city, from this world. I felt safe in that white room, ironically. When they released me, the heavy medication was supposed to make me feel better, instead it suffocated even my most basic impulses.’

Laughter ripped at his throat and pulled his face into a grimace, your palms clasping him so tightly you were afraid you might smother him. How much pain and grief could a man take, his poor soul must have been bound to an eternal rock, forever pecked by hungry vultures.

‘How can you even welcome me into your home if I don't even know that much? I’m so sorry I dragged you into this. I should go, no need to burden you with any of this' he meant every word, as he kissed your hands with teary lips and dragged himself half upright.

‘Don't go' you close to begged. ‘Please stay.’

The grooves in his forehead you loved, just as the distinctive scar on his upper lip and the deep dark eye bags crowning his jades, his state of mind added another couple decades to his age. As you took him in through your pores, you remembered the shy clown peering through the shelves, and how the makeup would do the exact opposite of its intended purpose. Somehow he'd been unaware of how the makeup brightened his eyes to a clarity and sharpness you could cut yourself into. It was endearing how he'd stared at you when you'd first seen him wearing the costume, thinking he could hide under that mask when really it only brought him to life, his facial expressivity more riveting than ever. Yet he was here with you, more Carnival than Arthur even without the paint, as broken as a mirror in infinite shards.

‘Will you still have me here after this?’

‘I would. Please. I'm glad you came here after all this instead of going back home.’

The thought he'd ever been intimate with a woman before you had dissipated in an endless pool of murky turquoise, the genuine surprise in his eyes cutting you to your bone. There was no question, you knew.

‘Thank you, kitten. I'll stay, if you want me here'. There was no hiding anymore, you'd made it sparkling clear by being an accessory after the fact.

‘I do, Arthur, so much. I wanted you here… since you held that elevator for me, yet somehow we always missed our moment. No need to thank me…’

Had it not been for the roaring thunder, he'd probably hear your galloping heart, yet his composure betrayed just that acknowledgement. Every fiber in your body ached to touch his soul and mend it. The erotic tension you couldn't deny, but that wasn't anywhere near the reason why you'd willfully allowed yourself to become his accomplice. He sat back down, timidly reaching for your hand with his own smooth fingers, to place it on his cheek, now as warm as to ignite all the fires inside you with only one touch. Regardless of the endless torment of his life, it was so effortless to feel safe in his presence, even if he'd just killed three men in cold blood and joggled his life as he balanced on a thin string.

‘But I want to. Will you... let me thank you?’ his eyes had meekly turned to yours with a restless heeding for that glimpse of complicity you'd joined in a few times before.

‘If you insist, sweetheart, I guess you already did. You're welcome.’ And through that smile you could feel your body radiating as intensely as a candle flame in the dark. You’d tripped and fell into feelings for him, and nothing could brush them off.

‘No... I really want to thank you, kitten...’ Painfully slowly, he drew himself closer to you, a cocktail of demureness and ardor shaping his beautifully chiseled face into one that you'd missed your whole life, without even knowing. ‘I want to... put my mouth on you...’

Oh… He'd shown you a short, blissful glimpse of this other Arthur, the less tense, less uptight, more daring when he'd taken what you both wanted. There was always a limit to his courage, and yet he’d usually fall back into the timid, maiden like demeanor that he was. This felt different though, as there was a glimpse of unbridling in the way he inhaled, in the twitch of his contoured eyebrow, his whispering husky voice demanding consent. He needed this. Perhaps it would help deafen the torment for a quiet minute, and you were willing to let him try. Oh, who were you fooling, your heart had leapt at the thought of this since you saw him motionless on your couch, albeit in your mind the roles had been reversed. You'd bitten your lip instinctively, a most nonverbal cue of compliance to his plea, and within a short second he was tasting it, sucking it, biting it gently, as his nimble fingers strolled so tenderly through your hair to uncover your face, your eyes already deeply sunk behind fluttering eyelids.

‘I want to feel you shiver in my mouth' he whispered with a faltering voice, taking in all of your scent through avid nostrils. ‘You always smell so good, so clean… I want to taste you…'

So tender he was, you'd forgotten what it felt like to be wished for, body and soul alike, yet his palms willingly showed you a striking contrast to the tenacious Arthur who'd barged in days ago, as if your skin was porcelain and he wouldn't want to break you. He uncovered your naked skin underneath the fluffy bathrobe and smoothly tasted the growing prickles with curious fingertips, lowering himself towards your thighs at a painstakingly slow pace that would soon have you beg.

Pulling you to the edge of the couch where he’d slid himself, he finally broke the jarring tension of his eye contact just to move his head lower, descending decisively. The instant his curious lips parted, a shiver jolted through your flesh and your heart leapt into a marathon, you let yourself fall into his mouth without any control. How beautiful he was, you reminded him over and over as your fingers slicked his damp hair back, curling it around his ears, uncovering his furrowed forehead and perfect chiseled jawline. The sight of him between your thighs was no stranger, but you’d only seen it from afar until now, deep within the corner of each of your fantasies. Such a kind soul he was, but that mouth a wretched devil… oh my…

For a second he looked as if he'd forgotten all his sorrows as he strolled his tongue over your petals, tasting your skin one inch at a time, gently exploring to test your every reaction to his laps, his eyes fascinated with each of your whimpers. The throbbing love button he'd unveiled, a curiosity he had to touch with his tongue to feel the pulsation, your purrs a source of the validation in an endless sea of self doubt. Taking his time, curiously exploring this newfound medication for his sorrowful blues, he quickly grew hungry and greedy as an addict for a stronger fix, yet somewhat cautious to not overdose. His dilated basil eyes etched onto your contorted face, delighting in each tiny reaction he drew from you with his mouth, yet the catalyst to set you fully ablaze were his own moans as he enjoyed himself enjoying you. Oh God, what is he doing to me, I never want him to stop…

You’d thought you'd be the one comforting him, but it seemed as if he was doing it for both of you. His eyes moved around maniacally, taking in the shape of your naked breasts, of your nipples hardened at the thunderous air in the room, your moans guiding him into a delicate rhythm that could make you climb walls, even with the clumsiness that came with tasting a new person. He couldn't be a novice, although his curiosity was striking and enticing. Regardless of all that sorrow he'd brought with him, he curled a satisfied smirk under his scar and an impertinent twitch of his eyebrow sent you into a frenzy. His jades dilated at seeing your lips bitten, your eyebrows furrowed, close to crying in ecstasy, unable to move at the pleasure he gave and gave some more.

The mercury in your thermometer jumped at knot speed towards one big show of fireworks whose fuse got consumed by his kindling flame at a slow pace. Thoughts of his recent killing spree rushed through your mind, yet you were as high as a kite. You didn't care. So you let them ooze out to leave a hazy emptiness behind to be filled with all this spectacle of indulgence.

The pleas were whimpering whispers as you arched and etched your fingers in his smooth cocoa hair to anchor him, the other palm clenching a poor throw pillow to deformation. You hips guided by the rhythm of his palms on your waist, your moans deepening as he'd made you move onto his face, using it as a fine tuned instrument to orchestrate the crescendo of both your pleasure. Now that all your 8000 sensory nerve endings could light Gotham for Christmas if visible, his tongue flickered around your pearl, feeling the climax building up towards that overwhelming rapture. Moans turned to shrieks, toes and fingers clenched in reflex, his eyes and mouth on you as he winked from under long dark eyelashes. You combusted so powerfully into his mouth, within a few blissful seconds you'd left him glistening in traces of yourself.

Only as you quivered your last drop of pleasure in his mouth did you realize why he'd needed this so badly, he craved the validation of being a man even if his identity in shatters. It was one thing to have no identity, but another to not even be a man. Pleasuring you was one damn win that would hold his feet on the ground if he did it right, and that he could control. He had been scrutinizing you as you gasped for air, your eyebrows furrowed almost painfully, your flushed delicate muscles still throbbing under his tongue.

‘Oh, Arthur, that was… amazing…’

Still lingering his lips onto your inner thighs, he kissed tenderly as your flesh still twitched. You wanted him even more now than you did before. But tonight should be about him, even if he'd taken the lead so gracefully, so skillfully, so deliciously.

‘Yeah…’ the shyest smile draped across his tinted face, 'I felt that, kitten. I've… never really done this before…’ You'd known, deep down, and yet hearing him say the words was the most tender of piano nocturnes to your ears, so you latched at his mouth to taste him through your flavor, one that if you could bottle up, it would drive mankind rabid into destructive adoration.

Come here, Arthur, you whispered as you pulled him next to you, the puzzlement over his arching eyebrows an absolute delight you'd dreamt of relentlessly. He didn't fight it, yet the stiffness in his bones betrayed an urge he'd palmed away many nights without resolution, anxiety creeping over him at the realization it was now staring him in the face.

‘Wh… what are you doing?’, you shushed him as a response.

‘Kitten, please, don't feel like you need to give me anything back…’

‘Who said anything about giving back? I'm taking this for myself, Arthur. Let go, baby, let me take care of you'

‘Kitten… ohh' his eyes went straight to the back of his head, heavy eyelids covering his jades, his lips parted as your fingers traced the bulge straining his pants to suffocation. ‘Ok…’ he exhaled anxiously, a timidly bouncing knee betraying the rush of emotion flowing through him as you dragged his clothes over his head, his pants crowning the floor within a few seconds, leaving him naked to your hungry gazes.

The flickering light of the candles reflected over his protruding ribs as if a part of his body had caved in under the weight of his shoulders, his palms on your face strolling and tasting the reality of your flesh, he must have thought you were a side effect of his medication. Yet the prickling shivers traversing his body as you trailed your fingers over it were not. You reached for his lips as you lay him across the couch, your breasts invading his chest, the warmth of your body soothing his anxious trembling. That defeated look on his face, so vulnerable he'd made himself to you, he had nothing to give yet you still wanted him. He was mystified with even the remote possibility, let alone you giving him that adoration he'd chased endlessly, but never caught.

‘You are so beautiful, Arthur, let me show you, please…’ He was your paradise lost in the depravity of Gotham, a villain in itself, weighing down on each of its residents and having chosen Arthur to crush mercilessly under its own lack of a well defined identity, ready to teach us all lessons in humility that could lead to desperation.

He nodded shyly, his jades coated with an acute layer of yearning over something he'd never been given before. His body was a withered Stradivarius, abandoned in the corner of a cold, damp world, subjected to years of weathering and painful lack of any care, no wonder he was so feeble in between your fingers. But his strings were steel, and steel doesn't weather. It would naturally respond to external factors just like anything else but no amount of forcing, pushing, suppressing would bring out the brilliant austere sound it was designed to bring. Had he been less frail, you'd relate him to a cello, one that needs to be held tight to one's chest before playing it, where its resonating chamber rests upon the artist's heart as she moves the bow on the saddest of instruments. Yet he was so fragile, the wails of his chords almost bringing you to tears as you ghosted over them, testing what amount of pressure would bring the vibration, how to explore the potential of the sound and bring it closer to perfection. You were there to give him all that, to polish all the dust away, his wrinkles, his chiseled edges, to practice on his strings and validate his worth until he felt himself a Stradivarius for the first time in his life. He'd been blessed with a beautiful instrument that could bring such intense sensory bliss if only he'd find the right hands, and you longed to play him through the night, to tear your fingers into his chords and to sing his melancholy away.

What a trembling mess he'd become as soon as your lips strolled down his neck, the smell of rain and cigarettes off his skin intoxicating you into indelible addiction. The farthest you went, the more you saw how little he expected that you'd turn your full attention to him, as if never daring to expect anything other than what you'd allow him to take. You kissed your way down from his chest, palms exploring and fondling every bony texture, every inch of soft skin until reaching an extremity that felt to your fingertips as both together. Trembling, he slicked back his hair and sunk deeper into the couch, scrutinizing your face in detail and feeding you those micro expressions of Arthur and Carnival together, the twitch in his eyebrow a give away that you'd be playing for an audience of two tonight.

So immersed in the overflow of sensation he was as you took him into your mouth, his only verbal response a muffled ‘F-fuck, kitten', but his whole body screamed a different story of twitches at the touch of your tongue and lips. How demure the sounds he made as he shivered over and over, his eyes shut tightly, his mouth half open, heavy breaths raising his chest, quivering lips alternating silent approvals or four letter curses, as if careful to not be caught. So painfully expressive, all you wanted was to see him melt under your touches like silver over a burning flame without a hurry in the world, your tongue tracing a tale more evocative than any words could ever express.

With each stroke of your lips, he let go to all but that intense pleasure, as if your mouth held the power to oust the very fabric of reality, offering him an escape into a wonderland he'd been denied entrance all his life. He wants to be wanted, needs to he needed, lusts to be lusted for, his quivering lips more than enough validation for that thought. As you felt his muscles unwind, his fingers tremoring, his breath traversing his trembling body, you'd made him float in an isolation tank of indulgence. When you stopped, his voice would growl and whimper in reflex, the purring sounds begging for more. Some would call it schadenfreude, you called it your tiny overdose in hearing him say 'please' as you teased and inflamed him. His taste in your mouth, his smooth texture, his delicate skin, you wanted nothing more than to lock that door and trap him in this perpetual state of bliss. For eternity wouldn't be enough to put together all his broken pieces, but it would be a start.

The meekness in his jade eyes was wrenching, yet as he looked into yours, you quickly understood why. You couldn't hear his silent whispers, yet you knew he was begging for more as the throb in your mouth intensified and his whimpering green eyes slid to the back of his head, his palms clenching the couch so forcefully he could tear into it. It mattered no less as you felt him completely let go throb after throb, his body convulsing in spasms, the taste of him ambrosia hidden from all other mortals.

His head sunk deep in the couch pillow, his arms and body heavy and immobile, breath ragged, he giggled for the first time that day, a laugh so genuine it felt foreign to both of you, a rattled stranger you both wanted to welcome in and nurture back to his feet. As he lay sprawled on your couch, naked and ecstatic, you wished he was happy, for once. You needed a minute to freshen up, and as you returned to shut the windows and lay a blanket over him, he'd almost dozed off from exhaustion.

You sunk next to him as slick as a cat, laying him onto your chest and fondling your fingers in his damp cocoa hair, his limbs latching at you rendering you almost breathless with the radiating warmth of his body.

‘Kitten, I… I don't know how to thank you…’, he whispered in the nook of your neck, asleep had his flesh not sweetly twitched him back to a half awake state. ‘I've been off my medication for a few days, but I might have found an endless supply of pure morphine…’. His body had finally rested its convulsion, his limbs falling heavier, his breath slower, within a few seconds of his thought his eyes already moved spastically under heavy eyelids.

He was right, he'd found pure morphine, and so had you. It would consume you both, but him in your arms was that feeling humanity had sought since its birth. A once in a lifetime adventure they'd write sonnets about in the past, one that was yours to experience and live through with Arthur. That morphine had just kicked in for both, and you were floating on a cloud high above the thunder slowly roaring away in the night.

------------------

Thank you for reading this far! ❤

A special thanks to a few of the lovely people in this community that inspires me to keep putting my odes to Arthur on paper:

@wuika @iartsometimes @impulsiveclown @arthurflecc @littlebird92 @life-or-something-like-lt @jokers-puddin-pop @arthurfleckownsmysoul @jokersdoll @bananabreaddough @paperorigami @ransomguest49 @daydreamhustler @arthurjokersgirl @forever-fleck @sweet-nothings04 jokerlicious @ajokeformur-ray @shaw-2000 @jaraysha1121 @jofic059​ @shit-i-love-clowns

[j45uk3]

이희승 - [THIRD]

genre: angst??

Characters: lee heeseung & gender!neutral oc

wc: 2k

synopsis: lee he-san, your best friend (who apparently is your crush) dies in a car accident. then one day, you see him across the street, is that him? Blinded by euphoria, you live the next few months happily. But then a secret lies between his identity, is this really lee he-san, the person you once knew or is it..

His twin brother, Lee Heeseung? 

others: mention of death, everything is fictional-remember that juseyo <3, extremely rushed ngl i had no idea what i was typing but ok-

i survived five whole years without him.

am i proud of that? no. of course not. can you even imagine walking inside your school greeted by looks of pity? and when you sit down everywhere you look something just feels missing? you would think to yourself, he would probably be here eating, he’s most likely to be here around this time. he would be here WITH ME laughing and having the times of our lives in this place. what hurts the most is when you look beside you and you see an empty chair filled with withering flowers and his picture. 

his picture YOU took.

five years? Without him, it felt like five decades. You would look into the mirror and see yourself aging, not only mentally but physically. the dark pits under you eyes would become more visible and the color of your skin fading oh ever so slowly. finding yourself five minutes outside your house and you already feel like your dying of the cold. you were lifeless. 

but then here he is, right in front of you. Clueless as ever, wearing the black leather jacket you gave him for his birthday. 

“h-he-san?�� you managed a whisper despite your crippling mental state.

his brows furrowed and his eyes squinted, a look of worry spreading across his face. is this girl ok? his eyes said. and the answer to that? yes, you were walking on Cloud 9, you wouldn’t care for the world if you were to die right now at this moment as long as you saw him again. and he is here, again. 

is this a dream? Is this guy seriously he-san? reaching your hand forward (you knew it was creepy, but euphoria made you blind to anything at the moment) tears gathered on your eyes. Creeped out to the bone, the guy halted and grabbed your wrist - making you feel as delighted as ever. he is real! and his tight grip didn't even stop you from hugging him oh so tight he might even die right after he just showed up to you, not dead. 

Then the most surprising thing came out of his mouth,

“Hey, y/n” 

you froze on the spot not knowing what to say or do. Your best friends death ruined your entire life to the core. Yet seeing him here, saying your name made everything feel all cupcakes and rainbows. He’s alive, he remembers you, he remembers your name. Everything. The color on your face seemed to pop out of nowhere and you hugged him even tighter earning a laugh from him as his long arms hugged you back.

“I-im so glad you’re alive”

“Me too?” 

Chuckling, you two never seemed to let go. 

Months passed by and as expected he astonished everyone at his sudden reappearance, but not everything goes right in life, does it? He knew you loved watching any kind of drama and right after you saw him a list suddenly formed inside your mind. 

if the person, now reincarnated but reported to be dead, comes back to you drama cliches: 

First, either doesn’t remember you, or anything at all.

That’s crossed out from the list since he really remembers me, and... anything else.

Second, came back a complete psychopath or simply wasn’t dead the whole time.

I’ll cross this one out since he died right in front of me and they displayed his actual body in front of us at his funeral. Lastly,

Third, has an unusual vibe and doesn’t act like the person you once knew. 

What scares me is that, i can’t cross this one out.

“Honey?” your mom’s voice cut you off your thoughts.

You looked back, and let out a simple ‘hmm?’ 

“What are you doing with your book?” she called out, i checked my book out and noticed ink spread throughout the page as my hand turned pale gripping onto the pen. 

I looked back to my mom, and gave a small smile as i turned the page, “studying” 

Chuckling, she walked forward, going to me and lay on my bed behind me. It was silent for a few minutes while I focused on my homework. Obviously not being able to, I mentally groaned and slammed my book shut and looked at my mom. “Yes?-”

“Should i call He-san to study with you-”

“-NO” I snapped. My hand immediately separated from my body and my fingers spread showing a ‘stop’ sign. Wearing a fake smile, my mom reached her hand forward and intertwined both our fingers. 

“I will” then she shook her hand along with mine. She let go of my hand and walked to the door, at the same time I twisted back facing my desk again, flustered. I waited for the door to click, but it never came. Glancing back, I see my mom staring at me again.

“What is it this time-”

“Have this” then she threw a square shaped object, and me being the clumsy, sleepy as hell demon I am, I didn’t get to catch it as it fell in front of me. I gawked at my mom and she smiled again and waved her fingers, closing the door shut.

“What’s this” whispering to myself as I lowered my body to reach the object. As I did, I flipped it over and it showed a picture of 2 guys and a girl. The two boys made a heart as the girl stood in the middle cupping her face. Twins were what the boys were, identical twins. Scanning the picture one last time, I spot a name on the bottom left. 

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung?

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung.

He-san’s twin brother. The simple picture cured all your suspicions. He had a tattoo on his right hand, but He-san had a tattoo on his left. He-san’s allergic to shrimp, but the He-san who showed up happily hogged all the tempura when he visited your home.

Third, has an unusual vibe and doesn’t act like the person you once knew.

the weirdest one was when he told me...he loved me. 

The He-san who showed up isn’t He-san. 

It’s Lee Heeseung, his twin brother.

the door suddenly opened, with Heeseung entering the room. With him, my mother's head peeked from the door and an apologetic look spread across her face. you had to know she said as we made eye contact. I gave a nod of my head and a weak smile, she smiled back and closed the door. Click.

“So what do you want to do?-”

“heeseung”

Silence conquered the entire room, shifting my sight to the frozen boy infront of me my eyes heated up. “Heeseung, right?” I said.

No reply came from the boy. 

“So, you are heeseung.” nothing seemed to process in my mind as the boy simply avoided my eye contact. Nothing filled my mind except.

“Why?, why would you do that?” I weakly asked. “W-why would you act like he-san and give me such high hopes?!” standing up, rage coursed through my veins. 

“Have you ever even thought, what would i feel if i found out? Did you ever wonder on how soon we’ll be able to find out? Heeseung I’m your friend, i’m basically your family-”

“I know, and that’s what hurts the most.” “that you’re only just a friend with me, but when you’re with He-San… You treat him as he’s in love with you. And you with him.” he whole-heartedly admitted. His head was hung-low and regret laced through his voice.

“How bout you? Did you ever consider how i felt?” he snapped.

“What do you mean?-”

“I disappeared, right? You knew I suddenly disappeared out of nowhere, but what did you do? You went to He-san and confessed your feelings right after the news came out

And that one time He-san literally got lost IN A CLUB, and what did you do? You literally dragged me out of MY REUNION with my friends just to find him” 

His head shot up and his eyes swelled with tears “and you know that wasn’t all, so tell me. Did YOU ever think on how I felt with all that favoritism?” 

“I-i just wanted to feel important to you, and I didn’t know what to do. YOU are important to me, same with He-san. But I just didn’t feel the same with you, I didn’t feel any importance on myself whenever I see you treating He-San that way. So, As the mentally broken person I am, I became He-san knowing the consequences” 

No words came out of my mouth as I had yet to process everything he said. I didn’t know what to feel, shame? Guilt? Anger? Or sadness? If only I could just die right then and there I would, my mind was a mess and this whole conversation was a mess. Nothing seemed to sit right anymore. You would think on who really was at fault..is it me? Or is it him?

“But then again, here we are having this conversation. Everything seems to be moving so fast right? It’s been MONTHS. And throughout those months, I felt...important.

To you,” 

Complete silence, none of us spoke a word. Shivering silence I would say. None of us made eye contact, and we made not a single sound but it wasn’t awkward, it was scary. You could feel the rage and anger radiating through the silence. So I did the most logical thing to do,

 Run. just simply get out of the room, house actually. And run. To where?

He-san’s grave. 

I dropped on my knees and my lips tremble tremendously. Taking quick breaths I looked up trying to contain my tears. Looking back down,  it met me with his name engraved on his headstone.

Lee He-san 2001-2021

A salty taste travelled to my lips and i wiped it immediately. My eyes got puffy and my eyesight blurred. My head throbbed loudly and all I could do was drop as my arms supported my entire body. 

“Y/N!” a voice called behind me.

“Y/N!” Heeseung’s voice called me. It was unclear since the noise of the cars honking and my crying blocked my hearing. He also seemed to be far away.

And I didn’t even dare to look back.

“Y/N!” the voice grew louder and i wiped my tears. Looking back, I see Heeseung on the other side of the road. He had a small smile, and he was waving his hand. Guilt corrupted my mind as I stood up and walked to the sidewalk and screamed 

“Go away, I-I don’t deserve to be your friend.” 

He didn’t reply. The pedestrian light turned green, and he walked towards me. The pedestrian was long, and I simply took the chance and ran away again. “Y/N!” His footsteps were loud as he ran going towards me. 

As I reached the middle of the road, a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me to turn to the other side. “y/n, listen to me” 

“I-im sorry,” i cut him off “i didn’t know that’s what you felt, I’m such a bad friend, and I was so clueless. I was probably so blinded by-”

“y/n, listen to me. I-it’s fine. I don’t care. As long as we’re together like this and the misunderstanding is clear, everything’s going to be fine. He-san wouldn’t want us to be living like this. I’m sure he would want us to be happy, I-i’m sorry too. I know that was very selfish of me to do that…”

Tears seemed to gather on the bottom of my eyes again, and Heeseung pulled me into his chest and his arms wrapped around my upper body. I hugged him back, breaking the hug right after. “L-let’s just go back to He-san ok?” 

I took a couple of breaths and nodded my head. We were going to walk to the side-walk until a stranger’s voice screamed “KIDS WATCH OUT” 

We both looked forward, and they met us with a truck's front as its honks ringed in my mind. We stood there frozen, and I felt a push from my side and I moved away and my body thumped to the other side of the road. My eyesight was blurry and a huge CRASH was what I heard, and before i knew it my eyesight went blank. 

"y-y/n??" "y/n? y/-"

my eyes shot open and I shot up from the bed. Looking around all i saw was white. rubbing my eyes, doctors, wheelchairs and nurses surrounded me. I looked to where the voice came from and was greeted by my mother. My lips felt dry and I was still wearing my outfit from earlier...earlier...

the truck..heeseung-

"where's heeseung?"

[nervousmendes]

Drunken Haze | Shawn Mendes

Shawn x reader (smut)

a/n: this was a failed attempt at writing smut for the first time. (it's very mild, mostly just sexual tension and making out) do check out more of my work on my masterlist right here

summary: Shawn sees the reader at a bar and makes a move.

warnings: mild smut (making out) and very little swearing

Cez does his fair share of research when it comes to choosing a bar to spend the night at, and when you're in Paris (yes, with a French accent) it's totally worth it. Brian walked in first, Shawn and Cez not far behind. "Man I'm so getting shit-faced in here." he sighed as the three of them observed the fancy lights, furniture and wall hangings, taking in the scent of alcohol and cigerettes suspended in in the warm air of the closed space. Cez being the only bright one in the three, quickly spotted an empty booth in the lounge but Shawn's eyes fell straight on a blond haired women, her black dress hugging her hips so well and her toned legs crossed one over the other while she tipped her head back, letting the expensive wine in the glass she was holding flow into her system.

There was something about her that intrigued him. Maybe it was the confidence she radiated, the way she sat with her back poised, the way her silky hair flowed down her shoulders or maybe it had something to do with how her skin glowed in the dim lighting. He felt the urge to approach her, like she pulled him towards her. And it was as if his legs knew what his heart wanted when they started making calculated steps towards the bar counter that she was facing. His thoughts went every which way trying to figure out what to say as he took the stool exactly beside her's, completely ignoring the five (or more) empty stools on his other side.

"Hey." He internally patted himself on the back for sounding a lot more confident than he actually was.

"Do I know you?" Her face broke into a polite smile, and her thick french accent dripped with the words she spoke out of her red stained lips.

"Maybe?"

Too cocky.

"You don't give me a businessman vibe." She said looking at him from head to toe. Looking. She saw the black denim that covered his toned legs, his satin, white shirt that hugged his broad shoulders and the little scar on his cheek that gave his soft facial features a more rugged look. Shawn watched her keenly. His hand went to his hair, fingers pushing a stray curl out of his eye.

"What makes you think I'm a businessman?" He turned in his stool and rested his arm on the bar counter to make her shift her vision from his face to his forearm that flexed under the thin fabric.

"They're usually the cocky ones." He was searching for what to say slightly taken aback by the fact that someone found him cocky, considering that no one has ever called him that before, not in a bad way. He wasn't offended, just surprised. In fact he liked that the whole 'be confident' thing was working.

"But you seem nice, I'll give you that." She chuckled while twirling the empty wine glass in her small hand.

"Will you let me buy you your next drink?"

She considered it, and almost nodded yes for affirmation but then her brows drew in an L shape. "I think I've already had too much to drink." She was mentally trying to count how many times the bartender filled her glass with Chartreuse.

"So why don't you tell me your name, mysterious, handsome, American man?" She said leaning close to him. The already deep cut neck line of her dress plunged down even further, dangerously low, making Shawn draw in a sharp breath through his mouth.

"I love mysterious and handsome, but I'm actually Canadian." He narrowed his eyes at her with a smirk and she couldn't help but smile.

"And nice to meet you, I'm Shawn. Et toi?"

"I can tell you skipped your french classes often back in school." She broke into a chuckle, making Shawn grin right back at her, his face very close to hers.

"You know nothing about me, but I'm afraid this one's true." He whispered, his minty breath fanning her face. She laughed again while placing her hand on Shawn's toned bicep that was rested on the countertop.

"You're funny." Her gaze burned into him.

"I wasn't even trying." Liar.

"I'm guessing that's a lie." They never broke eye contact.

"For someone that guesses a lot, you're pretty accurate."

"You know nothing about me." She said just like he did a minute ago, her lips almost grazing his making sure to not touch them. What a tease.

"How about," the tips of his calloused fingers went to her bare shoulder, "I start with knowing what those pretty lips of yours taste like?" and stroked the soft, supple skin on her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind.

"That's a good start." She inched closer.

"So is that a yes?"

Instead of giving him an answer, she touched his lips with hers, hands going to either side of his neck. He covered her mouth with his, tasting the expensive alcohol she had been drinking all night. He nudged closer to get a better angle, his large hands taking purchase on her waist. Their tongues danced with each other's, deepening the kiss. He moaned under his breath when she licked the roof of his mouth, and he used that as an opportunity to suck on her lower lip. Her nails scratched his scalp, tangling her fingers in his long, soft curls and she quickly figured how much he liked it from the way he kissed her harder in response to tugging his hair. She broke the kiss for air, he assumed but then when he pulled her in again, she opened her mouth to speak.

"I live only ten minutes away, let's get out of here." She was breathing heavily. He nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before getting off the stool and helping her down shortly after. He left a quick text to Brian asking them to carry on with whatever they were upto and rolled his eyes at Brian's response telling him to "not bust that nut too quick". They got in an Uber and sat beside each other, lips red and swollen, breath heavy, and their thoughts everywhere. They didn't say a word to each other. They didn't know what to say but they were both trying to reach out for some sort of connection. She cleared her throat in an attempt to gather the right words before she spoke. Her eyes were set on her hands that played with the hem of her dress.

"Is now a good time to tell you.." He looked up at her, signalling for her to go on. She gulped, "that I actually know who you are, and I acted like I didn't because I didn't want you think of me as someone who would see you as an object just because you're a celebrity." She made air quotes on the word 'celebrity', like it was such a weird thing to say, a word that gives a human, with a little fame they never knew was coming their way, the title of an object.

"That is the best decision you ever made. If I knew you knew I'm sure I wouldn't even have made a move. You have no idea how glad I am that you did that."

She finally dropped the hem of her dress and looked back at him through her long eyelashes. That was it, there was no holding back anymore. Shawn's lips crashed into hers and she kissed his mouth back with that much force, curling her fingers into the collar of his shirt. His one hand went around her waist, palm flat against the small of her back, and the other was tangled in her beautiful, blond locks.

Their lips didn't leave other's even while unlocking the door, and just like you see in the movies, they kissed their way into her bedroom until Shawn's legs hit the cot and his butt landed on the soft spring mattress of her bed. She kicked off her heels and threw one leg to his other side, her knees on either side of his legs, straddling him. His hands slid down from her waist to fill his palms with the flesh of her toned bum. He cooed as he kneaded them with every movement she made sitting right on top his hard-on that strained his tight denims. Shawn drew his lips away from her mouth to leave wet kisses down her jawline and along the expanse of her throat. He attached his lips to the spot under her ear and sucked on the skin there, causing a shivering moan to tumble down her plump lips. He explored her neck and her chest with his hungry lips, tasting the lavender flavour of the soap she lathered on herself earlier that evening. Somewhere along kissing and a lot of exploring later, all the clothing they helped each other get rid of were scattered on the floor, sweat covered bodies moulding and crashing to give each other the climax they longed for.

(I cannot write smut for shit so I cut the crap out and got to the point.)

She woke up to the warmth of the sun shining on her golden skin through the half drawn blinds, feeling a mild headache from all that she had to drink the previous night. That's when she remembered him. She jutted her head out of her pillow to see that his clothes weren't on the floor anymore. She shifted under the sheets to find an empty bed beside her and a post it note neatly placed in the centre, exactly where he slept. She took it in her hand, squinting until she could read what it said.

Sorry, I left without saying goodbye. I'm playing a show today and I have to be there early. Last night was really fun. x

- S.M

Her lips formed a shy smile and her cheeks were tinged a shade of red as she recollected the events of last night. She folded the piece of paper in her hand contemplating whether she had to throw it or save it. She looked down at it one more time, and that's when she noticed that something was written on the other side. She turned the post-it around, to find a phone number written on it and under it he'd written, "maybe I'm glad I didn't say goodbye".

She laughed to herself, carefully placing the paper in her journal, already excited by the idea of seeing him again. She met Shawn less than twenty four hours ago and hardly knew anything about him, but there something about him that drew her in, made her want to get to know him better and of course feel that pretty mouth of his between her legs once again.

_______________________________________________

I'm thinking maybe I'll do a part 2 to this so let me know what you think. Hope you liked this one. Reply to this or leave me a message if you want to get added to my taglist!!

[calypsoff]

Thrity Nine. Part 5

Chewing on my bottom lip smirking. I don’t know why but I just feel a little giddy “what if I told you I haven’t shaved? I mean I didn’t know you was coming so?” Pulling a face thinking “mhmmm hairy coochie? I can play with that, it will give it a little different texture, but I can deal, I feel the flavouring will be intense” Robyn is cackling hard right now, she is half screaming and can’t speak “I really hate you, oh my god!” She spat, I chuckled turning in my seat to face her “me? You started it, I came prepared. I came prepared to devour; my pubes are tripped. My cum is going to taste extra sweet, I been eating well you see” I winked at her “mhmm, how you been pleasuring yourself prior?” Raising an eyebrow “same question to you? How you been doing it?” Robyn raised her hand “the middle two to be exact, I had to get pictures of other men. You weren’t cutting it” I sniggered, she is a straight liar “same, Teanna Trump gives good head” Robyn hit my arm “that better be a joke” I chuckled “the only lips I think about is you, trust me. But yeah, I been feigning for you for a while, the pictures from the rolling magazine were a treat to me, came all over that cover” Robyn looked away from me “you’re so nasty” she mumbled, the nerve of her calling me nasty “you can talk, middle finger lady” I am literally in awe with Robyn, just looking at her “man, I am so lucky to have you Robyn. On a real, sex aside. Everything, you are such a support to me. I just, I get choked up thinking about it. That what if, what if I didn’t meet you then, I just. It scared me thinking that, because I couldn’t see my life without you now. I really do love you Robyn, and I could never see myself without you, I can’t wait to settle down, have a wife, which is you. Have a home, I really want a home, like just our home. Not some rented thing” Robyn cooed out “I want that too, where would you like to live, I feel like Cali gives you bad vibes but it’s so much better for work, there is so many parts to it. We can move well away?” Nodding my head “I like the home where you rented out, I want to do it together. Do couple things, you got time off, I am not doing anything so we can do this” Robyn looks shocked, but I been thinking about this a lot “we will, you really thinking on the future aren’t you?” Nodding my head, that’s all I been doing “yeah, I just want to go house hunting. I just want to do a lot” I have a lot of things to do with Robyn.

This sucks I have no suitcase, but I got my backpack with me, fixing the backpack on my shoulders “thank you” grabbing Robyn’ suitcase from the driver, pulling the suitcase along as Robyn came up from behind me “what you think? This looks nice huh” walking inside the hotel “it does, you went all out for me baby. You really want some head tonight” I cheesed hard as I made my way to the reception desk, wait till she hears the name, she thinks I was joking but I wasn’t “you’re so adorable” the lady did a double take at me and then Rihanna, she is thinking this is really Rihanna “hi, welcome. Can I take your booking reference or name please?” licking my lips smiling “erm, Fenty” I couldn’t say it, let this lady do it “sure” she went to type in “Fenty? I mean why my name; you could have used your own” I chuckled “yes” the lady dragged out “Fenty” she looked at me “the first name?” I said trying to not laugh because this is funny “say it baby girl, I think I know what he did. I won’t be angry” I smirked rubbing the top of head “Forehead Fenty, I am sorry” she apologised “you’re an idiot you know what? I thought that was a joke, don’t apologise. He is stupid. Let’s just get booked in so I can beat his ass in private” I laughed rubbing my chest, it sounds even funnier with someone else saying it in the Barbadian accent.

This room is nice as hell, it’s ocean view. We have our own private beach area, this is amazing. For the price I expected it anyways “you opening the wine” I asked Robyn, she grabbed the bottle “I will be, but you annoyed me so you please me first” rolling my eyes, here we go “right so I got to do you first?” Robyn ripped the foil off the bottle “do a boomerang of me opening the bottle, my phone is in my bag” I guess that is my punishment for being dumb, opening Robyn’ bag and getting her phone “my passcode is five, five, eight, nine” looking up at Robyn smiling “your fiancé birthday huh, now I will snoop on your phone, make sure you ain’t getting no second husband” tapping on Instagram “so how I do that boomerang thing” walking over to Robyn, she tapped on camera and then boomerang “that’s it, time it right for me please” nodding my head stepping back, tapping record thinking I did it early but I timed it perfectly as it popped open “aye” that was easy “thank you baby, pour some for me” she placed the bottle down and took the phone from me “I am happy to be spending some time with you alone actually, now that I am mentally right within myself. I am just glad to just have time for us” pouring the wine “I missed you so much Chris, not even going to lie. The tour kept me busy, but my downtime was just horrible. I was worried you wasn’t going to get better because you’re stubborn but I didn’t know you was out there gaining a six pack” I chuckled grabbing the wine glasses, walking towards Robyn “I wanted to feel confident, for myself too” Robyn took the glass from me “to us and to you getting better for you, it’s what you deserve” I nodded my head as we clinked glasses, she is right I had to do it for me.

Robyn is annoying, she is on her phone “we ain’t come here to be talking. We came here to fuck, now you just playing, don’t make me play rough now” she is purposely checking her emails, like who the fuck does that. She is doing it because I named the booking Forehead “take my heels off” she didn’t even look at me, she just said it like I should obey “then you will quit playing?” grabbing her ankle, I yanked her down on the bed a little, on purpose “be nice” she is saying things without even looking at me, this small ass buckle at the side of her ankle, why is it so small. I managed to unbuckle the strap and then took the heel off “do not throw my heels, they cost me a lot” she knows damn well I was about too, I let the heel lightly fall down on the ground, I proceeded to do the same to the other heel “and then after that we can start getting our freak on? I mean come on Robyn; it’s been way too long. I am sorry I named it under Forehead, I will not do it again” pulling her heel off “I suppose” she locked her phone “blow my back out then” she rolled her eyes “you” I pointed, she will regret that, but I won’t say she will, I will just point.

Dropping to my knees, I spread Robyn’ legs apart, my fingers touched her skin, goosebumps broke out across my body, I have missed it. Robyn shivered and looked down to see me looking up and watching her. I could see in her eyes that she felt it too, those butterflies fluttering through. I placed my nose as close to her core as I could without touching her. I just inhaled, closing my eyes and moaning softly. Savouring the moment of her aroma filling my nose and making my mouth water “Mmhmm” I finally nuzzled my nose into her panties and Robyn gripped the sheets, I moved my hands across her body. I kissed her sex, first with my lips, then with my tongue. I ran my hands up the side of her body, Robyn yelped when I cupped her breast, roughly squeezing them in my hands. It’s been a while for Robyn, I can tell because she is squealing at every little touch, I don’t blame her because I will cum quick.

I pulled her panties to the side and teased her, she squirmed above me. Pulling her panties off, I grabbed Robyn’ leg, opening up her body further and gently kissed the inside of her thigh. I switched back and forth between legs, kissing both equally. I bit the inside of her thigh, my teeth sunk deep into her skin, with every intention of marking my territory. Her sex was completely open to me. She was so wet, so perfect. I growled and threw her leg over my shoulder. I pecked her clit, gently. Very soft. Treating it delicately before placing an open mouth kiss over the sensitive bud, I sucked long and hard until Robyn’ eyes popped open. I placed one more kiss on her lips before gripping her thigh and going to work. She was grinding her clit on my face. Moving to meet the thrust of my tongue. I continued to tongue her down, I have her pressed so far up the bed headrest, she is running from me. Moving my head back, my mouth covered in her essence and I licked my lips clean.

Plunging two fingers into her sex, Robyn whimpered and gasped when I slipped in another finger. Her body arched off the bed and I knew she was close to spilling over the edge. I placed my whole mouth over her swollen sex. my tongue in deep, digging and sucking out as much of her sweet honey nectar as I could as my fingers continue to work her. Her body hiccupped and Robyn went crazy. Her legs squirmed and shook, but I held them steady in place. She is screaming loud enough to get us complaints. Her eyes fluttered, back twisted and she trembled as I pushed her legs back further. Pressing my face deeper into her. I sat up a bit, letting go of her legs and grabbing her ass instead to lift her body off the ground, I pulled her towards me. Completely burying my face between her legs. I could barely breathe, but it didn't matter to me. If I died tonight I would leave this earth a happy, satisfied man. She is the sweetest thing to ever touch my tongue. My tongue vibrated against her clit and I heard Robyn slam her hand to the bed in pleasure while I continued to slurp her up. She came hard, proof of my victory oozing out of her.

I sat up on my knees, out of breath and drenched in everything Robyn “you’re a mess, I ain’t lost my touch” she is still reeling in from this, her toes are still curling from the pleasure. Pushing my shorts down and my dick hung free, grabbing Robyn’ ankle. Placing her foot in front of me and started to place kisses on each toe, my free hand slowly jerking off my hard member. Robyn smirked biting on her bottom lip as I froze at her big toe, my mouth covering her big toe. I think I have a foot fetish and this ain’t good because I do this, Robyn yanked her foot back from me. Squinting my eyes at her “move your hand” she said with a smile playing on her lips, I moved my hand and Robyn clasped her feet together around my member “mhmm, I think someone is not admitting to his fetish” she started to jerk me off with her feet and I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t, it felt good “mhmm, you like that don’t you?” I don’t want to say yes because then she will tease me, but I am crumbling, Robyn gasped “was that a moan?” she stopped “don’t stop” I mumbled, this feels so damn good “well I am, since you don’t like it” Robyn sniggered, she is a tease and I hate her, she is so annoying for that.

The sounds of her low moans and the slapping of skin filled the silence of the room, she hissed loudly, I groaned loudly “fuck, fuck, fuck” I grunted, I have missed this so much. I was on the edge of madness, I meant what I said when I said I was going to blow her back out. The sounds we created is making the ache in my dick intensify “god damn, you feel so good” I spat as the bed creaked under the strain of our movement, the moans reached a frenzied peak as the head board continued to bang against the wall, Robyn cried out. The ache in my dick increased as I listened to her come. Robyn arched into me, as my hand reached behind the back of her neck, pushing her face into the pillow as I froze, I knew I would have came early, I knew it and I didn’t last “my god!” that was intense “little too quiet there” I said, Robyn got no mouth now “be quiet!” slipping out of her “I don’t want no minute man Chris” side eyeing Robyn “shut up” shuffling back off the bed, gripping Robyn’ ankles and yanked her all the way to the edge of the bed “god damn, you could warn me” yanking her up.

The head of my erection pressed against the entrance of her sex and I was ready to be buried deep inside of her once again. I plan on slowly pushing myself all the way to the hilt and fill her completely. Spreading her legs wide and slid inside of her once again. My groan was deep and long when she gripped me and tightened around me. My hips barely moved forward; my rhythm was so slow. My eyes were locked on my dick sliding in and out of her, I enjoyed watching myself disappear deep inside of her. It amazed me how stimulating such a thing as watching yourself stroke in and out. My eyes gazed up when I heard Robyn moan, she liked this speed. I stroked a little deeper, to push a little harder. This agonizingly slow speed I was serving was beginning to drive me mad. She reached her hand up to either stop me from going fast, but I swatted her hand away “don't touch, just feel” I breathed, and Robyn complied, wasn’t going to do that again.

I moved my head to the side to stare at her face, loving each priceless expression she made. The ruffle between her eyebrows, the wrinkle of her nose, how tight her eyes were clenched shut, and what really turned me on, the way her tongue brushed across her bottom lip before pulling it back inside her mouth and biting down. It drove me wild, awakening the beast inside of me, but I had to contain myself. I don’t want to go in rough constantly, not when it’s going to be a lot of it. I fought the urge to flip her over and drive into her, something I really wanted to do. Pulling out of her, I thrust back inside of her and picked up my speed. Finding a natural rhythm. Each stroke was filled with passion, my want to please her, to unlock her release, fulfilling her desire. I gripped her hips and piston into her. The bed rocked back and forth as Robyn gripped the sheets, my speed picked up more and my head fell back in ecstasy. I know I said I wouldn’t have done this, but I wanted to push Robyn to her release.

Lighting the blunt again as it got put out by me, inhaling with the blunt between my lips and the smoke filled my lungs. Resting my head back on the seat, blowing the smoke out from my lips. A smile formed on my lips; I am high as shit. I don’t know what is in this weed but I am high as hell, I laughed to myself placing the blunt between my lips bringing my head forward just seeing Robyn bobbing her head up and down on my member, I assumed I was in a different world and this wasn’t happening but it was. My hips bucked as she deep throated me, moving my blunt back “damn” watching her slowly move her head back up my member, I can feel every curve of her tongue just against my member as she bought her head up, she stopped at the tip and twirled her tongue around the tip and gripped the base of my dick as she jerked me off at the very same time “fuck me” I groaned out, she is sucking the cum out of me, I don’t want to grab. I want to push Robyn’ head back from my dick cause she really sucking me off, Robyn knew I was going to grab her head but she gripped my wrist as she kept on sucking, my other hand with a blunt to it. I feel trapped “oh my fucking god” My toes gripping the carpeted floor.

Robyn is so fucking smug, she has come out of the bathroom so smug “your soul is mine now” I looked over at the time “is this who we are now, who gets to be more smug” licking my lips, Robyn and I are just butt ass naked. There is no reason to wear clothes when we just going to fuck again “I am just saying, two” she grabbed the bottle of wine “how two?” I questioned “my mouth, and my feet” she is so annoying “nah, I didn’t cum with that. Doesn’t count” watching Robyn drink from the bottle, she moved the bottle back “I could have, I stopped. I had you under my trance, remember that Chris. I got you, and I am going to continue to get you good. Ok let’s call it two one, because the first time you came quick, you did have me screaming and I came hard so let’s say that” chewing on my top lip, I am trying to gather myself, but my brain is just such a mess after that blunt “I got to admit, you sucked me dry. I have never experienced head like that, in my life. I mean I didn’t have much of that, you are lying. You done this before” Robyn chuckled “nope, just you” she shrugged “aight so we doing points, what happens if the person wins, what is the bet on this” she didn’t explain that “if I win, wedding is in Barbados and we do it quick like next month, and if you win then you can pick” that is big, my eyes widened “that is a big thing Robyn, that is Christmas time?” I wasn’t expecting this, I am shocked “and if you win?” she doesn’t want to hear it “if I win, then we wait, and it will be in Texas” Robyn laughed “Texas? You really came up with that shit, you ain’t winning shit, you men are weak” she licked her top lip “trust me” she sniggered.

[morethanaloveinterest]

A Melancholy Review of Natasha Romanoff's Costumes in Endgame

With Infinity War tossed in there, since she only wears one outfit in that. Let's talk about the most comfortable clothes she ever wears on screen.

At the very beginning of Endgame, this is what she's wearing in the compound while they discuss dealing with the aftermath of the war. Not a leather jacket, but a fitted cloth jacket (not a hoodie, I don't think). She has the usual silhouette without the leather, making her recognizable despite the dyed hair.

Female representation: 9/10 I think it's great that she got to dress down from the battle for the exposition scene. And she's still fully dressed and covered, unlike several other characters in this part.

Practicality: 8/10 I would expect it's as practical as her other civilian clothes - we don't see too much of it to know for certain, though.

This is obviously her Infinity War outfit, which she wears at the beginning of Endgame to go after Thanos. It has a lot of upgrades from the previous appearance in Civil War, which I'll get more into in another post on her suits. In any case, I think it's very appropriate to go to war in - she has all kinds of weapons on her person as well as actual armored sections. Plus the vest is super cute. It probably has a ton of pockets.

Female representation: 10/10 It’s awesome. Compared to some of the other female characters in these scenes, she is surprisingly the one showing the least skin AND the least body-hugging (surprising because it would be more her character archetype to have such clothes even in impractical situations).

Practicality: 10/10 Nat's very practical and, as I said, this looks about as prepared for a battle as what everyone else is wearing (except those in metal suits, of course). She can move easily, she has kneepads and shoulder pads - she's ready.

After the 5 year jump, we meet her still running the Avengers (unlike the useless male Avengers who have all wandered away). She's not dressed up for it, since she's not even wearing shoes (she does have her ballet shoes sitting on another chair, which is a great detail). Anyway, she also puts on a cute grey hoodie later - the first time we've seen her wear something like that outside of a disguise.

Female representation: 9/10 Glad to see we don't have the classic example of female breakdown as directed by a man. She's still dressed comfortably and her pain isn't there for us to gaze at - she's upset, but she's getting by on her own. More importantly, contrast this shoeless scene to the only other time she's been barefoot (the beginning of Avengers). Definitely a different vibe here that I appreciate.

Practicality: 8/10 It’s Nat, so I'm sure it's very practical. Probably for the best that she didn't face a fight in it, though, since she's not wearing shoes.

I put the outfits she wears the plan the heist together since we don't get much of them to discuss separately. The green jacket is reminiscent of her endless leather jackets (but does not seem to be). In the five years, it's pretty clear that she's gotten more casual with her style and less interested in form-fitting clothes. Which makes a lot of sense to me.

Female representation: 10/10 I love domestic Nat. There is no emphasis on anything you might expect from someone called a Black Widow. She doesn't wear anything especially tight or seductive. She's not dressed as a superhero - just as a regular person.

Practicality: 8/10 I'm sure it's all reasonably practical. I don't see anything she couldn't fight in, and most could easily hide any number of helpful gadgets. We don't see her get up to much beyond take notes, though, so I can't say for sure.

I wasn't going to talk about this one, since it's on screen so briefly and is all CGI, apparently? But I did just want to point out how pleased I am that the ladies didn't have suits that look dramatically different from the men's. No separated boobs here, it's great.

Female representation: 9/10 Slightly gendered, so it doesn't get 100%, but it's extremely good. Especially since both genders are dressed the same (essentially). Her chest plate might have a bit of a curve, but everyone else has the same white inset shape and everything, so it's not there to draw attention to her chest or whatever.

Practicality: 10/10 I have no idea how it works, but I must assume it's extremely practical for time heists or they wouldn't all be wearing it.

Her final suit. It's more feminine than the one from Infinity War, I think (though I can't point to what exactly gives that impression). It's the most detailed version we've seen, which is fun. Probably the most practical boots (after infinity war).

Female representation: 9/10 Thankfully no boob cups. The intricate pattern on her torso is cool without drawing the eye to her chest. We're a long way from the original design in IM2, and even that was a great departure from the comics skin-tight suit.

Practicality: 10/10 Obviously Nat is prepared for anything. Even though she doesn't face any bad guys while wearing it, so I guess we'll never know how it held up compared to the others.

Check out my other costume ratings here

Please come listen to me talk about Natasha’s character arc in each movie on Youtube - the whole 6-part series out now!

[therealmofadisneyfangirl]

I watched You Wish for the first time which originally premiered on January 10, 2003 on the Disney Channel so uh 17 years ago. It was based on a Children series book. It stars Lalaine as Abby, Abbs, or others known as Abigail, AJ Trauth as Alex, and Spencer Breslin as Stevie.

It was not boring at all.

I never grew up with this stuff. I was 2 when this movie came out so I was watching little kids stuff; So I technically watch reruns.

But since Disney + recently got release; I’m finally caught up.

Let's talk about the main characters.

Their parents are clueless and hardly there.

Alex’s friends are cool.

Anyway back to the parents: The parents let their youngest child get away with murder like having a turkey for a pet?!

I understand why the oldest child is always annoyed with the youngest child.

I only had a normal pet which is a cat.

The Lansing brothers are opposites being only six years apart, Alex is 16, while Stevie is 10. Alex is more hot-tempered, stubborn, rebellious, awkward, and independent, while Stevie is child-like, clingy, and spunky. Which makes them clash at times which makes the siblings rivalry interesting.

Alex does have a soft side which happens many times; one of the highlight moments he was playing toy football with him later on before the chase scene after he kicked Stevie out of his room, after seeing Stevie’s puppy dog eyes he left him back in to watch a horror movie with him. I guessed it was Stevie’s weird way of saying sorry. Then he gave him a noogie; he ruffled his head several times in the movie.

Alex is a bossy big brother which is shown many times. He lists the items that includes

Telling him to not touch his stuff or not allow him to go in his room without permission etc. Stevie is a typical annoying little brother type; he likes to mess with his big brother and get under his skin;. Eventually, they do learn to get along in the end.

Bonus: Alex was pissed off in this scene because today was his game, and Stevie got jelly on his skates. I thought it was funny these two were giving me older brother and younger brother vibes. Then he tackles poor Stevie on the bed; then he pins him on the bed and got the skates off his feet, to be honest, Stevie deserves it. Alex, specifically told him several times to stay out of his room though I admit the position Steve is in looks like it hurts because Stevie kept moaning in pain trying to get his mom to save him from Alex’s wrath.

I laugh at the little chase-out scene between Alex & Stevie. I started to laugh when Stevie was scrambling for his life. Then Alex has his hands out for him to lunge at him if his mom didn't interfere Stevie would have been a football tackle again this time on the floor. Stevie ran away from Alex since he was chasing him after their mom intervened.

This was pretty much this scene:

After Stevie denied he was snooping in his room. I think Stevie does look up to Alex in a big brother worship way; because at any age, you look up to your older siblings.

Like he even said Go raiders! even if he was wearing Alex’s skates. Alex dismissed this as normal pesky younger brother's behavior. Coming from being the youngest in my family: I am just aware of these behaviors.

And also btw I was laughing at their facial expressions: during the chase scene

Alex: (thinking.) when I get my hands on you why you little runt-

Stevie thinking probably: Mom!!!

Yup because he yelled at Mom afraidly.

But I’m glad he got Stevie back as his younger bro. They both learn to be better brothers and now get along.

I love Alex teaching Stevie how to skate at the end. Then Stevie wishes for the coin to be a better skater and Alex’s I’m proud of you bro moment. He does have a big bro instinct which is shown several times.

You wish approval rating: 100/100.

Plus A+ for awesome acting between mostly AJ and Spencer; their bond looked realistic like they were actual brothers.

Credit to camera crew: As someone who loves camera work, and into photography. As a writer myself, The screenplay and script were good too.

When it shows Alex’s pissed off face, and Stevie’s I’m so in for it face. I thought it was good timing and hilarious. And bravo for a good music score. This movie was great and enjoyable for the entire family to watch in Quarantine.

Edit: the movie is 18 years now still good.