#glad for the chance to actually write it!

[mintywolf]

(I wrote this on the train coming home on August 26th although I am just getting around to posting it now because time is a weird soup.)

So okay.

****

I haven’t written a personal journal post in a long time but I want to write down EVERYTHING I can remember about my adventure to NYC to see the Critical Role cast so I don’t forget. It was SUCH a moving experience and I’m so glad I went even though I was scared.

So okay my big goal for this year was to finish the first chapter of my C3 prequel fan comic A Long Road Home (southerngothiccomic.com), have a print edition made, and meet Laura and Marisha at a convention so I could give copies of it to them in person. When the CR cast announced they were going to be at Anime NYC this year I figured that was the closest they were probably going to get to me in Virginia. (And getting autographs at NYCC is reportedly like hunting a unicorn so I figured this would be my best chance.)

I was also terrified, and almost talked myself out of it because I was nervous about giving them the comic, even though I already had a badge and it was what I really, really wanted to do. I know the cast loves to see fanart — and also, it has been revealed, reads the fanfic — but it’s also a pretty well-known taboo for a fan to show their fanfic to a creator and a graphic novel is an unholy hybrid of the two. I was also worried that it would seem presumptuous of me to present them with a fanmade prequel graphic novel because there’s almost certainly going to be an official one at some point, and afraid that at best they might politely tell me they couldn’t accept it (for the reasons that comic writers aren’t “allowed” to read fanfic), and at worst they might be kind of annoyed that it exists. Either way I’d be REALLY sad, and in the weeks leading up to the con I worked myself up into an irrational panic about this. Fortunately my friends managed to talk me into not backing out (and spoilers: it turned out okay in the end!) but I was still very scared.

Also I was so focused on the comic stuff that I forgot until after GenCon earlier this month to think of what I wanted to actually have autographed. I decided to get a big print of the chapter one cover from INPRNT, assuming that since I ordered it two weeks in advance with an eta of 5-7 days that would be plenty of time for it to get to me. Well, reader, it was not. (But please do not let me dissuade you from using INPRNT! To their credit when I contacted them and asked if I could upgrade to rush delivery, they expedited it for free. Unfortunately even with rush shipping it just missed me, arriving at my house while I was on the train to NYC.)

Pâté on the train going to see his biological parents. (Laura and Marisha.)

When I saw that it wasn’t going to arrive in time I was starting to panic because there is nowhere near me to have art prints made. It’s a 15 minute drive (past the alpaca farm) just to get to the nearest grocery store. Grasping at straws I was kind of like Should I . . . draw something? On paper?? With real media that I haven’t used in like 10 years??? I only have 3 days!!!

Fortunately my life was saved by @emphaticembroiderer who had the brilliant suggestion of sending my art ahead to a print shop in NYC and picking it up before the convention. There are indeed MANY of those in New York and I managed to find one that was open on Saturdays and able to make my print on short notice. (567 Framing on W 14th street. The owner, Jack Hu, did excellent work and was very kind!) By that point I was frazzled and didn’t want two of the same print so I decided to be self-indulgent and had this one made. Not my showiest piece but it is one of my favorite things I’ve drawn. (This turned out to be the correct decision.) It’s a 6 1/2 hour train ride from here to there (and it got a little delayed along the way) so by the time I got there it was after 5 and the print shop closed at 6:30 so I zoomed over there straight from the train station to pick it up. It turned out BEAUTIFULLY, and the owner was pleased with how happy I was with it and that he’d been able to help.

He enjoys that he is included.

Then I went and checked in to my hotel and that point really just wanted to lie down on a bed but I had plans to take Pâté to see Hadestown on Broadway that night because I wanted to make the most of my trip. (Also it’s important for our scrungly son to receive a cultural education.) In keeping with the theme of the weekend I wore the Laudna-themed sundress I made for GenCon with one of the poppies in my hair. An usher told me they liked my ensemble. :) I had decided to go for a front row mezzanine seat because I didn’t know when I’d ever have this opportunity again and I didn’t want to risk my miniature self being stuck behind a tall person. It was perfect; I could see everything and the performance was AMAZING. Pâté had a very good time too.

The next day was the CR panel and autographs!! I decided to wear my 1950s Laudna cosplay from GenCon. I had some doubts about it when I got there because without the rest of 50s Bells Hells the theme isn’t as clear and outside of a DnD-focused convention the recognizability of a CR character is kind of low, let alone an AU variant on one. But once I found the Critters my Pâté poodle skirt was appreciated. :)

This is Rach @dadrielle, Astoria @astoriacolumnstaircase, Abby @overnighttosunflowers, and me as 50s Hells at GenCon!

And okay I know this said a lot but it’s true, CR fans are the NICEST fandom to be a part of. <3 If you’re ever standing in line for a CR thing by the time you get there you will have new friends. (For comparison the other-fandoms cosplayers I saw at the hotel and on the way to the con didn’t even return my smiles, even though we were all clearly going to the same place.) I fell in with a group of people who were near me in line (including an amazing Owlbearman cosplayer) and we decided to all sit together. The panel was really great. I don’t remember everything that was asked because of everything ELSE that happened later that day but they hinted that Big Things are coming (including multiple live shows!! Please come to Richmond! Or DC! Or at least somewhere on the East Coast!) for the 10th anniversary and Momlan stepped up to the mic during the Q&A segment and revealed that Sam has achieved his childhood dream . . . to become a minotaur. :D

With the mindset of making the most of this trip I had intended to try to get a spot in line to ask a question but I was hesitant about being on camera (even in cosplay) and while I was dithering about it like 50 people got in line. (I was also Suffering by that point because my rockabilly Laudna shoes have like 3 inch heels and after walking from the hotel to the convention center I didn’t have the fortitude to dart over to the line in them.)

My question, which I hope to submit next time there’s a Q&A opportunity, was this: For Marisha. We’ve seen Delilah’s influence manifesting in Laudna’s fashion choices recently. Now that she has the means and the freedom to do so, what kind of clothes would she choose for herself?

(Because I am a little sad that — until a possible post-campaign oneshot — we’ll never get to see a high-level Laudna costume that’s totally of her own design and I’m really eager to know what it would look like! Let her be spooky and free!)

Afterwards the cosplayers were being rounded up for a photo shoot but I was anxious to get a good spot in line for my autograph with Laura at 2pm so I stealthed away with Ken (@elissabrat), a Jester fan I had met in line, who knew where they were and had one with Travis at the same time. When we got there we were told No, go away and come back in an hour and a half, because it was still only 12. So we went to the Artists Alley where we found a girl named Lea whom we had also met in the panel line and collected a few other stray Critters (Ken has a boisterous and inviting personality and importantly, is very tall, preventing the rest of us from getting lost in the crowd) and we wandered around seeking out all the CR fan artists we could find. (There were a lot! It was great. I got some prints.)

by Cait May and Maliveth

Around 1 we decided to go back and see what the line situation was. Before we parted ways I exchanged twitter handles with Lea, who looked at my profile and said “Wait . . . this is you?”

She told me she was a big fan of my comic and looks forward to it every week! and we were both kind of like !!! at each other for a moment. I had never met someone who recognized my art in the wild before. (On ANY other day this would have been the most amazing thing that happened to me, haha.) I was so touched to meet her. <3

I took out the two books I was carrying and explained why I was there and we all got hyped up about it. And it made it feel a little less daunting, to know that there was someone there who understood the quest I was on and how close I was to the end of it.

I was like 5th in line for Laura and since it was still early I got to participate in that bonding experience integral to every con, sitting on the floor in cosplay, with a very good Vex behind me. (Hilariously, even after the dig at them — or maybe unaware of it — in the most recent episode, there were a lot of Funko Pop resellers around us, haha.)

I sent word to Southern Gothic Discord to remember me fondly in case I died here. In fact I'm not entirely sure that I didn't.

It felt like there was a disproportionate amount of fanfare revealing my print because I kept it how it was packed by the printer, wrapped in paper in between two pieces of cardboard so it wouldn’t get bent, so there was this whole ceremony of peeling back the tape, turning under one of the cardboard protectors, unfolding the paper, and turning over the print. But Laura loved it. She made like a happy sob when she saw it (it was really cute) and she looked at it for a long time taking in all the details and said it was beautiful. <3 <3 <3 (No matter how much we love and ship Imogen and Laudna, NO ONE loves them or is shipping them harder than Laura Bailey. She asked if I was going to bring it to Marisha too and was careful picking out a spot so there'd be room for both of their signatures. :))

I told her I was really happy to meet her because I’ve been a fan since BloodRayne (so, um. 20 years) and she said “oh wow, that was OG days!” And she gave me just a really kind look like she understood how much it meant to me to be there.

Then I gave her the comic. You all were right, I was worried about nothing! because she is the sweetest and she loved it. I very nervously pushed it across the table and said it was a comic I had made and wanted to give her. She picked it up and started turning the pages and was surprised when she saw what it was. “Wait, this is a whole novel! You made this?”

I confessed that I had, and she asked how long it had taken, I told her about a year (it was actually longer; in the moment I kind of forgot not how many pages there are in the first chapter but how many weeks are in a year) and she looked just really impressed that I had made it and touched by how much work had gone into it. She said she couldn’t wait to read it and seemed really excited to hear that it’s still going online! (So no pressure on me there if she's keeping up with it now, haha. o.o) And she kept looking between the book and me like she couldn’t believe it.

Then she asked me if I would sign it for her. :')

Somehow I survived long enough to do so! (a little wobbly because my hands were shaking) and someone (I think it was the ticket scanner) made a joke about how I was the first person to give an autograph at a signing, haha. And then she came around the table and gave me a hug. <3 <3 <3

After that my soul was still on the ethereal plane but the rest of me managed to find my way (after a brief wrong turn) to Marisha’s line. (There was a really good Keyleth and Caduceus in line behind me and they kindly noticed and returned the Pâté sticker that fell out of Marisha’s book).

She recognized my cosplay as 1950s Laudna right away! which was very validating after my earlier indecision haha. She loved the Pâté skirt and thought the scissors embroidery on my collar was adorable. She really liked the art too and was kind of like “Awww” about the book like in an “aww it’s an Imogen and Laudna thing” kind of way (she also liked the glass bottle windchimes on the cover and I love that she noticed that detail because Laudna’s penchant for turning things other people have thrown away into arts and crafts is one of my favorite aspects of her character) until she opened it and started looking through it.

Then she said, “Wait, this is actually really good," and she asked me seriously if Liam “Art Dad” knew about it (I said he had liked some of my other art on Twitter but I didn’t know if he knew about the comic) and then she said — still looking at it, more to herself than me — “We’ll have to add it to our art catalogue.” I don’t know exactly what that means (and I don’t want to get my hopes up too high by speculating; I was too !!! in the moment to ask and now I’m going to be wondering) but . . . it sounds . . . exciting??

They also both enjoyed Pâté and his lil sunglasses. :)

I had gone up with the intention of asking my other burning question: How does being cold-blooded affect Laudna in cold climates? If she gets too cold will she enter a state of brumation like a lizard? Will she freeze solid?

But I forgot. And it really wouldn’t have been the right moment. Maybe when I come back with Volume Two. :)

You’re supposed to pay extra to get a quote put on there but they both did it anyway without even asking. I think they must be really pleased when someone brings them something personal that they’ve made to have signed and not something they’re planning to sell.

After that I just kind of floated away from the con even though it was only like 2:30 haha. Nothing else could have happened there that would have equaled or improved upon that experience. Although I did adopt a Tentacle Kitty. The vendor (correctly) guessed “you look like you’d vibe with our spooky collection” so I had to get a new buddy for Pâté. (50s Laudna, still readily identifiable as a witch wherever she goes.) Also I saw a very chill emotional support pomeranian in a backpack.

(On the way back I saw the mark of the Traveler graffiti’d in green on the sidewalk. Truly a blessed day. :P)

Afterwards I just sat on the bed in my hotel room amid the floof of my crinoline wondering what even is my life for the next few hours and being like !!!! at Discord. Then I met up with Abby (whom it was wonderful to see again!! thank you so much for coming to see me) for dinner and had a really lovely time going over the What Just Happened of it all and talking about Imodna over strawberry pancakes. As one does. Perfect ending to an amazing day. <3

It was SUCH an incredible, exhilarating experience, thank you everyone who pushed me into not giving up out of fear. Laura and Marisha are SO nice and gracious in person and it was just so rewarding, after all the work and love and time I’ve put into this comic, to be able to finally bring it to the people who inspired it! And to see it appreciated and admired by them! It was more than I ever could have imagined.

This fandom is the best. My heart is so happy and full of love right now. <3 <3 <3

[mermaidchan05]

Vesuvia Weekly: Date with Disaster

This... got away from me lol.

Julian is all set to go on a date with Damian. But something is making him decidedly more anxious than he should be...

Featuring Julian, my apprentice Damian, Damian's familiar Oswald the bat, and some brief appearances by Asra and Faust.

Almost 3000 words, content warning for anxiety and claustrophobia, just in case. Don't worry, everything turns out just fine! :)

_____________

It was really a rather simple date, considering how long it had taken Julian and Damian to plan. But that didn’t stop Julian from being nearly beside himself with nerves.

He should have been excited. It was finally time for Julian to prepare for that romantic picnic that he had promised Damian over a month ago. And then they would be off, spending a glorious night out on the town. Julian had plans. Secret plans. Plans that he couldn’t wait to surprise Damian with.

But for now, Julian was rushing around the little room above the shop, tripping over trinkets as he snatched up the last few things he needed.

Asra, who had promised to take care of things at the shop while he and Damian were out, watched with a raised eyebrow.

“Trying to wear a hole in the floor, Ilya?” Asra teased.

“Asra, as much as I enjoy our banter, this isn’t the time,” Julian called frantically over his shoulder. “Where is it, where is it, I told Damian I would pack a lantern, and I can’t do that if I can’t—?

“Did you mean the lantern on the shelf?” said Asra.

Julian ignored Asra’s playful smirk and looked at the shelf. Which was a very obvious place for a lantern to be. Of course, it was right there. In plain sight. Julian sighed and grabbed the lantern, carefully shoving it amongst his ever-growing pile of picnic supplies.

Asra’s smile slipped away. “Ilya? Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong!” Julian burst out. “Everything is fine. Tonight is going to be perfect.”

Asra hummed thoughtfully. “Of course. Then I’m sure you have a reason for packing one of Damian’s old Masquerade masks.”

Julian froze. He stared at the mask in his hand. He hadn’t even noticed what he had been grabbing. He felt his face heat up.

“It’s, uh… that’s not for the picnic,” he said. “It’s for later. Tonight. We’ll be going dancing, you know.”

Asra raised an eyebrow. It was clear that even Faust, hiding in Asra’s outfit as usual, completely doubted every word Julian said.  

Julian gave up. He put the mask down with a sigh.

“I… sorry,” he said. “I’m nervous. I admit.”

“I noticed,” Asra quipped. “But this seems a bit… more nervous than usual.”

“Yes, Asra, thank you for your observation.�� Julian sighed again. “I can’t help it. I must be going mad from the stress of work.”

Asra’s eyebrows crept higher. “What makes you say that?”

“It’s the lack of sleep, I’m sure of it,” said Julian. “Usual Devorak nonsense, isn’t it? Or just… doctor nonsense. Always excellent at providing care, but the worst patient… hard, though, to get a good eight hours—or even a halfway decent five—when the past three nights came up with nothing but nightmares. And they only get worse, of course. Just my… luck…”

He winced. He hadn’t meant to say any of that out loud.

“Nightmares?” Asra repeated. “And the time frame seems… specific. It’s not… has anything happened recently?”

It took Julian a second to realize what Asra meant. “What? No. No, no, no, it’s nothing like that. Nothing’s happened. Everyone’s perfectly fine. Thriving, even. And we’re nowhere near any, ah, anniversaries.”

Asra nodded. It was good to know—and to admit—that no part of Julian’s sordid past was coming back to haunt him. Not at the moment, anyway.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Julian went on. “Stress. That’s all.”

He thought he had managed to successfully brush it off. Then Asra’s eyes flashed.

“Damian’s been giving you magic lessons, hasn’t he?”

Julian stopped short. “He… well, yes, but what does that have to do with—?”

“Have these nightmares been about anything specific?” Asra asked.

“Nnnoooot particularly,” said Julian, frowning in thought. “Just general foreboding. You know me. Once a thespian, always a… wait.” He let out a nervous laugh. “Wait, you can’t be serious. You don’t really think this all means something, do you?”

“The veil between the mortal and magical realms grow even thinner in dreams,” said Asra. “You’ve seen it yourself, Ilya. You may not have been able to reach the Hanged Man otherwise.”

Julian ran a hand through his hair. “That’s… uh, well, that’s true, but… I don’t know… mystic dream veils sound a bit…”

Asra didn’t let him finish his awkward attempt at waving that thought aside. “Ilya. Dreams like that—particularly repeated dreams—can be considered warnings. And you’ve been opening yourself up to magic lately.”

“You can thank Damian for that,” said Julian with another awkward chuckle.

Asra was far from distracted. “Ilya, please. This could be serious.”

Julian shut up.

“If the dreams have been getting worse the past few days, and came to a head last night… it might mean some kind of danger is approaching. And approaching quickly.” Asra frowned in thought again. Then: “Ilya. Tell me. What is the worst possible thing you can imagine happening during your date tonight?”

For a split second, Julian wanted to argue. A bunch of nightmares couldn’t possibly mean all that. It didn’t make sense.

But if anyone knew the ins and outs of weird magic visions, it was Asra. And if something bad really was on its way, Julian didn’t want to put anyone at risk.

He had to take this seriously. Just in case.

Julian thought about it for a moment. Of course, he had already considered the hundreds of things that could go wrong on a date like this. But those were all small issues. Forgetting one of the ingredients, tripping over something on the way to their picnic spot and spilling everything, not getting to see absolutely everything they wanted to see, Damian falling into another barrel… those were fixable. Minor. Things they would laugh about later. None of it warranted a sense of impending doom.

Except, perhaps, for one thing…

“The worst thing I can imagine…” Julian said slowly. “Well, I suppose the worst thing I can picture is something bad happening to…”

He trailed off. Asra’s eyes had widened again. Julian shot to his feet.

“Damian,” he gasped.

Julian didn’t waste any more time. If something bad was going to happen to Damian—or maybe already had happened—then he needed to find him. Fast.

He knew Damian was in the forest, stocking up on some ingredients to help restock the shop. So that was exactly where Julian headed.

His fears were only confirmed when Damian’s familiar, trust little Oswald the bat, collided with Julian before he even set foot in the wood.

Damian never traveled anywhere without his familiar. Oswald was his constant companion. If they had been separated, then something was very, very wrong.

Oswald bounced off of Julian’s chest, landing in his waiting hands. Julian hastily checked him over. The little bat looked distinctly ruffled.

“Oswald, what happened?” Julian asked frantically. “Where’s Damian?”

Of course, Julian couldn’t understand Oswald. Not the way Damian could. But the sound the bat made was unmistakably one of alarm. Oswald hastily took to the air again. He flapped a circle around Julian’s head. Then he zipped off, flying deeper into the forest.

Julian immediately followed.

------------------

Damian tried to keep his breathing steady. It didn’t work. Gods, he never should have gone back here. He knew the caves in the forest could be dangerous. And of course the recent heavy rain would have caused problems.

He’d been so foolish. He’d thought he knew the paths well enough. He thought he could handle any magical trouble that might come his way. He’d thought that the rare and highly useful nettles that grew in this particular little cavern would have worth whatever risk there might have been.

Not this. It wasn’t worth this.

Damian couldn’t stop his mind from reeling. From berating himself over and over as the panic took over. He should have paid attention. He knew the signs of a landslide—or dirt-slide in this case. He knew that any rocks and rubble perched on top of the caves were a bad omen.

But he’d notice too late. It wasn’t until he heard the rumble. Until he saw the cavern grow dark.

Oswald had just managed to slip out before the cavern entrance was completely sealed off. Now Damian was stuck. In a space that was far too small. And felt smaller and smaller every second. He couldn’t see. He was too panicked to breathe. Any thought of using magic had completely left his mind. All he could do was scrabble against the rocks that kept him trapped. He cried out desperately, hoping someone, anyone would hear him.

At last, someone did.

“Damian? Damian, love, where are you?!”

Hope rushed through him. Damian pressed himself even closer to the rocks. He privately thanked all the gods that Julian could be very loud when he needed to.

“Julian!” he shouted. “Julian, I’m here!”

For a brief moment, he was terrified that Julian hadn’t heard. But at last, a response. Julian called his name again.

“I’m here!” Damian called again, hopefully for the last time. “I was an idiot, there was a landslide, and—”

“It’s alright!” Julian shouted. “It’s going to be alright. Are you hurt?”

“N-no,” said Damian. “I’m fine. Just… just get me out of here, please.”

It wasn’t fully the truth. He was a little scraped up, thanks to making sure Oswald got out. But he wasn’t worried about that. Not when he was stuck here, with no light, with stone all around him… 

“Alright.” Julian’s voice, though still loud, was still wonderfully reassuring. “Just try to stay calm, love. We’ll get you out of this, not to worry. Just need to find the right…”

His voice faded into incomprehensible mumbles. Damian started to hyperventilate again. He could almost feel the cave walls pressing in on him. And the sound of Julian trying to find a good way to dig him out did not help. Not when Damian had spent so long trying to dig himself out, just for it to end in vain…  

Then Julian cried out in triumph. “Found it! Damian, darling, step back a bit, if you can. And keep your face covered.”

Step back? In this impossibly small space? There was no back to go to, he could reach out and hit the wall.

On sheer nervous instinct, his arm flailed out at that exact thought. The walls next to him were certainly close. Enough for him to bang his upper arm. But there was nothing behind him. Not that he could touch, anyway.

It had to be enough space.

He stepped backwards. Once. Twice. Then, on the third step, his back hit the rock wall. Damian’s breath caught in his throat.

“Damian?” Julian called. “Are you ready? Is everything alright?”

Absolutely no part of this was alright. But he had to get out.

“Ready!” Damian called, trying to keep his voice steady.

If Julian gave a verbal reply, Damian didn’t hear it. But he did hear the shifting of rock. Loud enough to make Damian wince. If something went wrong, if the lost even more space…

The world rumbled. The debris covering the entrance to the little cavern shifted. Damian’s arms flew upwards, covering his face of their own accord. He heard a horrible sound: all the rocks crumbling to the ground. A burst of fresh air rippled through his hair.

“Damian!”

Julian’s voice. Gods, Damian had never been so glad to hear it.

He immediately opened his eyes… and blinked against the sudden light. That didn’t stop him from dashing out of the cavern as fast as his legs could carry him. He collided with Julian, his feet nearly flying out from under him as he stumbled over the rubble. Julian scooped him up. He pulled Damian as far away from the cavern as he could in the split second before Damian’s legs gave out completely.

Damian was breathing heavily. He buried his face against Julian’s shoulder. Julian held him gently, rubbing calming circles on his back.

It took a long moment for Damian to catch his breath. To stop shaking. And even then, he didn’t lift his head from Julian’s shoulder just yet.

“Gods,” he mumbled. “I hate it when I get like that…”

“Get like what, love?” said Julian, his tone still soothing.

“I… I completely lost it,” Damian admitted. “I didn’t even think about using magic…”

Julian stopped patting Damian’s back. He froze in total surprise. Damian smiled sarcastically, even though he knew Julian couldn’t see it.

“Claustrophobia sucks,” he said. “I don’t recommend it.”

Julian stayed frozen for another heartbeat. Then he laughed. Gods, what a glorious sound.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Julian gently kissed the top of Damian’s head. “But you know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, don’t you?”

Damian mumbled into Julian’s shoulder again, a noncommittal noise. Then he finally lifted his head.

“How did you find me?” he asked. “Oswald?”

Oswald made a soft noise at them from his upside-down perch on the nearest tree.  

Julian went slightly pink. “Ah… well, yes, sort of. Oswald found me, really. But there’s a bit more to it than that.”

Damian gave him an expectant sort of look. So Julian told him everything. About the nightmares that he had refused to talk about for the past three days. About Asra figuring out that it might have been some kind of prediction. Talking about it made Julian look just as nervous and shaky as Damian had felt only moments ago. Now Damian was the one holding Julian steady.

“Hey,  Julian, it’s alright,” Damian said gently. “I’m sorry for worrying you so much.”

“I’m sorry you were caught up in all that,” said Julian. “If I had been there with you—”

“You still wouldn’t have been able to talk me out of going into that cavern,” Damian said with a little smile. “I had my heart set on those nettles.”

Julian’s eyes widened. “Nettles? That’s what all this was about?”

“Yes,” said Damian, unashamed. “Rare nettles with very valuable magical properties. You understand. I know you’ve done some dangerous things to acquire some of your medical supplies.”

“I… can’t argue with that,” said Julian, sounding very much like he wanted to argue with that. “But Damian, my love… we need to be careful. Especially around magic.”

Damian raised an eyebrow. “Is that what’s bothering you? The magic part of it?”

“I, uh… no?” said Julian. “Maybe? I don’t mind that you’re looking for supplies for your shop, love, of course I don’t, I only—”

Then, finally, Damian understood. “Julian… are you upset at yourself for not listening to your dream? For not trusting your magical instincts?”

“I didn’t even know they were magical instincts,” Julian said guiltily. “I never even thought to question them. Or, uh, to tell anyone about them, really. And thanks to that, I completely ruined our date.”

Damian couldn’t help it. He laughed.

“Julian, you did not ruin our date. You did the opposite, really.”

Julian stared at him, dumbfounded. “I… but, darling, that’s… uh…”

“You just heroically dashed to my rescue,” said Damian. “I can’t imagine anything more romantic than that. What better way to start a picnic? It’s like something out of those plays you’re so fond of.”

Julian looked taken aback for a moment. Then he started laughing, too.

“You’re just as fond of them as I am, love,” he said.

“I don’t think it’s physically possible for anyone to love theater as much as you do,” Damian said playfully.

“Touché,” Julian chuckled. “And speaking of theater… I have a surprise for you later.”

“Sounds wonderful,” said Damian. He wasn’t particularly surprised. But he would let Julian have his moment. He earned it. “Why don’t we start on that picnic first?”

Julian flushed. “Well, ah… there is a reason for that…”

“You left the basket in the shop, didn’t you?”

“I was worried about you!” Julian protested. “I didn’t have time to think about something like—”

He was quickly silenced when Damian caught his lips in a kiss. Damian smiled playfully at him as he pulled away. Julian was too stunned to respond.

“Come on,” said Damian. “Let’s go back together and pick everything up. We should tell Asra what happened, too. I’m sure he’s worried by now.”

“Probably,” Julian admitted.

They went back to the shop hand in hand… and quite possibly sticking a little more closely together than they normally did. Anything to make each other feel better.

Oswald, for his part, seemed very happy to be dropped off under Asra’s care after everything was said and done. He didn’t want to get involved with all the mushiness that was bound to happen during their date.

And it was quite mushy. But that was exactly what Julian and Damian had been looking forward to all this time.

[syruubi]

Man its been weeks and I’m still soured by the conclusion to Fontaine’s main story. I'll just rant here

There were a lot of things I didn’t like about it (Arlecchino's altruism being played straight, Traveler being out of character, the lore exposition ass-pull with the prophecy slates, the weird logic about how destroying a Gnosis could potentially wake up the Heavenly Principles but not fucking destroying an Archon Throne when Celestia forced everyone to fight a GODDAMN WAR TO ESTABLISH THEM-) but the biggest offense to me was how Furina was handled. This was marketed as the grand finale of the arc, the climax with Furina at the center of it all. And she got shafted. Big time. Furina had no agency in the plot whatsoever, nothing she did had any effect on how things turned out, and she didn’t even have the dignity of fully understanding why it all had to happen that way.

(Also I will preface this with yes Furina and Focalors are technically the same person with the same origin, but after the split Furina lost all her memories as Focalors. They are two separate consciousnesses with different experiences, and therefore I will treat their individual choices as their own)

I’ve seen people try to argue that no, she chose to take on this role knowing she would suffer, that she didn't HAVE to go along with it. And she was even working by herself to solve the prophecy without relying on Focalors, she wasn’t a puppet/pawn! But the thing is she was essentially in a hostage situation. If she didn’t do things exactly as dictated by Focalors people would DIE. Like there is a reason why criminal punishments are lighter when it’s found the perpetrator was coerced into it! And her researching how to avoid the prophecy changed nothing about the outcome, she could have sat around eating cake and the story would have word for word turned out exactly the same. All that information served to do was highlight her suffering and draw the audience’s sympathy. That's what I mean about her not having agency, it's not about her ability to act as an individual but how her actions had an effect on the overall plot. None of her choices outside of the role designated by Focalors did anything to change the situation for better or worse.

And to top it all off she didn’t even understand WHY this all had to happen. Why do people dissolve in the Primordial water? How does her pretending to be an Archon play into solving the issue? Why can’t she confide in anyone? What the hell is Focalors even doing? She doesn’t learn the answers to any of these until after everything was over, and not even from Focalors’ own mouth, it was relayed to her by Neuvillette.

Speaking of Neuvillette, I’m not gonna lie I’m sorta annoyed at his existence because it felt like Furina was shafted for him. Everything is very tilted in Neuvillette's favor. He gets his powers back, full control over Pneuma/Ousia, final say in trials, the ability to hand out Visions, and just straight up the ability to manipulate life itself. And okay all these things were his to begin with lore-wise, whatever, but he also becomes the "lore important" character after this at Furina's expense. Furina doesn't have her memories as Focalors, she can't tell us anything about how the world works, about Celestia, about what happened 500 years ago. Even though other Archons didn't give us much either for one reason or another, they at least HAVE that knowledge, and are therefore guaranteed to have involvement in future events with the Abyss and Celestia. Furina at the moment, doesn't. Neuvillette has it now. And all that talk about Focalors judging Celestia? Also Neuvillette's job now. And it feels like it was all stolen from Furina from a story-telling perspective because again, she didn't know of the plan to return his powers. She didn't even get to explicitly agree with her other self that he should have them back. The writers really seemed to go out of their way to place him on a pedestal at Furina's expense, which irks the hell out of me.

There are some opportunity for future interludes to turn the current state around, and they probably will since Furina is still being marketed as an Archon, but as it stands I want Fontaine to be over so we can move on to the next disappointment.

[batsplat]

as our resident Casey expert i wonder what do you think would have happened if marc and casey competed against each other? since casey retiring is so important for marc coming into motogp im always thinking abt the what ifs...

my initial instinct with this hypothetical is always 'that sounds horrible', though I do have more thoughts and opinions about it than that! marc obviously would have loved the chance to race casey, and casey has even been one of his picks of 'guys he would've liked to be teammates with' before, so, you know, clearly something there - and he does very much respect casey as a rider. I think it's quite likely that by the time marc entered the premier class, casey had already developed... I don't know if wariness is going too far, but maybe a little bit of unease or caution where marc was concerned. marc already very much had a reputation based on his 125/moto2 track record, and some of these incidents were controversial enough that the motogp riders commented on them. so take the phillip island 2011 incident where marc rode into the back of another rider:

the valentino quote serves as a bit of a benchmark here, given he was generally pretty pro-marc. yes, casey's phrasing is perhaps a little harsher, but unsurprisingly none of the riders were big fans of marc's behaviour in that particular incident

on the other hand, it's not like casey never sided with marc. take catalunya 2012, where marc was slapped with a controversial post-race penalty:

yes, casey's main complaint was about inconsistent stewarding - but still, he believed marc had been unfairly treated here. feels like these incidents were some of the only things casey and valentino actually agreed on in those years, so that's nice

that being said, it's hard to see how casey wouldn't have his issues with marc and marc's whole approach to racing. I did include some thoughts on the teammate question here, but mainly I'm going to pilfer the relevant autobiography passage:

"if a rider doesn't care about his own safety then it stands to reason he doesn't care about anybody else's either"... there's nobody really who embodies the 'doesn't care about his own safety' maxim better than marc. he was the young rider desperate to win, and I can't imagine casey would have enjoyed actually racing him much. casey mostly didn't enjoy racing valentino, after all, who is a generally a lot more selective with his aggression than marc is (though casey did have to experience some of the worst valentino had to offer in that regard). casey talked in his autobiography about getting a sense when he just wasn't really able to trust another rider on the track, how much it bothered him - and that exact lack of respect is something that's been pretty closely associated with marc. that doesn't mean he would immediately declare marc his enemy... he'd just want marc to change, to learn, to grow up, to start treating his competitors with a little more respect. the way casey talks about young riders, there is a sense in which he has more time for them than he does for valentino - whose lack of respect casey views as more integral to who he is as a rider. valentino isn't a bully on track due to the exuberance of youth, he's a bully on track when he thinks he can use it as a tactic of intimidation. then again, marc by this measure is worse... and I think very quickly casey would have grown pretty disenchanted with how marc approaches all his wheel-to-wheel racing, especially when it becomes more and more clear marc does not feel particularly inclined to change

it's always important to remember how recent the trauma of losing simoncelli was for the whole sport, and it coloured both dani and jorge's wariness of marc... but also (in my opinion anyway) their restraint in how they dealt with him. how they tried to stop themselves from actually making an enemy out of him, in part because they'd just had an experience of harshly criticising a rider for a whole year and then having to process his death. both dani and jorge actually had more public and more serious disagreements with simoncelli than casey did, but I reckon there would have been an element of that restraint with casey too... on the other hand, his experiences with marc would have left him feeling even more alienated from the sport than he already was - at times frustrated (like jorge was) less with marc directly but more with the regulatory bodies for not holding marc back, for not giving him a race ban or whatever to teach him a lesson. that being said, marc's shamelessness vs casey's stubbornness means that if they had direct on-track encounters and casey didn't like marc's post-race response... well, I certainly think that'd end up being a pretty tense situation, even if it falls short of active hostilities

worth including irl!casey's take on marc in 2013:

which, you know. it's not just that marc's a hard racer - casey is accusing marc of deliberately wanting to make the defeats extra painful for his opponents, of wanting to not just beat but humiliate them. anyone else that reminds you of? someone who is as motivated in securing his psychological victories as his actual ones? perhaps someone who has a bit of a history himself with casey?

let's bring in valentino. it's not that casey would really have begrudged marc his friendship with valentino, and he generally kept his hatred of valentino quite 'clean' in that he wasn't conducting any proxy wars or anything (for instance, I don't get the sense the vale/sic friendship ever affected his view of simoncelli... though I have very little to go on here either way). also, if nothing else in this timeline changes, we're assuming valentino in 2013 is fairly clearly the... fifth? best rider? kinda depends where dani would have landed I suppose (casey's retirement announcement did save honda from a bit of a headache)... but anyway what this means is that valentino probably wouldn't initially have been much of a competitive threat to casey. mostly he would have been consigned to the sidelines

that being said, I doubt casey would have massively enjoyed the whole laguna seca saga. unfortunately, we don't even really know what real life casey's stance on the copycat move situation was... though if I had to guess, in this timeline I'd say his position would've been, a) marc could and should have carried out that overtake two corners later, there was no need in that race situation to take that risk, b) still, it was valentino's slight error as he attempted to reclaim the position (in what was a pretty aggressive manner, it has to be said) that led to them both ending up off-track and fuck that guy, and c) the problem with 2008 wasn't just or even primarily the corkscrew overtake and it's annoying that that's the only bit everyone talks about. of course, there's also the question of whether casey would have bought marc's explanation that it was totally by coincidence that the overtake happened there... and again, complete guesswork, but my sense of casey is that he would have assumed marc was being at least a little bit dishonest. (which, you know... laguna's not an easy track to overtake at, but marc did prove with the bradl move that he was perfectly capable of overtaking after turn 8 - might not have been planning on the off-track excursion, but he was still attempting to overtake just ahead of a blind crest that happened to feed into the corkscrew lol.) I think casey by his honda days had calmed down a bit (though he still certainly had some conspiratorial tendencies), but I also don't think it's a stretch to imagine that he would've felt like he was a victim of a joke between the pair of them... not ideal

overall though, I reckon casey's main frustrations would have been less with the move itself and more with how it was discussed. in the presser, while joking with marc, valentino does take the opportunity to get in a jibe at casey for old time's sake. there's this clip, where he directly addresses livio suppo (at ducati in 2008, by then at honda) - specifically about how both casey and suppo criticised him for that overtake. in response, suppo says something about how he's grateful to marc because they finally got payback. valentino is later asked directly about casey's complaints in 2008 in this clip, and replies with the following:

would valentino have said this stuff with casey still in the paddock? well, yes! honestly, given valentino did very quickly lay off needling casey once he had retired, there's a good chance he would have said something worse. and marc would have laughed along at the whole thing. I don't know, I just don't see casey taking particularly kindly to that... he can hold a grudge, that man can, and at a certain point he'd probably be increasingly less willing to give marc the benefit of the doubt. interesting situation though, laguna seca '13 + casey is a very juicy scenario that could play out in several different ways

but I'm guilty of burying the lede here - there's a far more obvious reason than anything I've described above for why the casey/marc relationship would have turned sour. it's the simple fact that they would have been teammates which would do the damage all on its lonesome; they have radically different conceptualisations of how that dynamic is supposed to work and would inevitably have clashed as a result. the one commonality they do have is they don't see their teammates as potential friends, which is... also not helpful! I think they'd probably initially be fine on the interpersonal level - and, actually, given how the casey/valentino relationship played out and marc's general approach to his rivalries, I can see marc/casey more or less being able to maintain a minimum standard of politeness towards each other even at their worst. like, I still think they'd be able to smile at each other and do some small talk when face-to-face, but I also think everything else would be a complete disaster. I talked a bit about how marc approaches his teammate relationships in this post - and I'm not going to rehash too much of what irl!marc got up to, but I'll include some bits relevant to casey

from marc:

related to casey:

and dani comparing the two:

we do obviously even have actual real life controversy wherein casey thinks marc felt threatened by him and forced him out of honda... and this in a timeline where they weren't even direct competitors! if this is the level of tension a test rider role can generate, then if they'd actually been teammates...? yeah, no. casey thinks that teammates should cooperate - and he thinks that riders enforcing divisions within the box are essentially doing so because they are "afraid". marc has openly admitted to lying about what parts he likes to make sure his teammate doesn't get any edge over him. this is the thing, right: marc might think casey is a cool rider, would've liked the chance to race him and even be teammates with him... but this is the stuff he did to dani, who was one of his literal idols! this is his understanding of competition - (like valentino) he might love the fight, but simultaneously he'll do pretty much whatever it takes to win, because he considers this stuff fundamentally part of the game. casey does not. to casey, this kind of victory is dishonest. any kind of gamesmanship is a sign of weakness... the victory is worth less if you're accomplishing it like that

now, hey, maybe marc would never have been able to go as far as he did with dani because he wouldn't have the kind of performance edge that allows you to definitively impose your will within the team. I think it's a popular interpretation that marc wouldn't have won the title in 2013 if casey had been there, which... I mean, I think it's true that it would have been less likely - in that in a season with that much volatility, the more plausible championship contenders you have the less likely it is that any single one of them takes the title (same goes for instance if you add in a valentino who had not gone to ducati for two years and would have presumably been more competitive in 2013). but it's not like casey would have been the defending champion and the clear class of the field... partly due to injury, he ended up finishing in third in 2012. jorge and dani didn't win the 2013 title in part as a result of their own injuries, and who knows how casey would have fared... like sometimes it's just luck of the draw really. you can be the better rider and still not win the title, shit happens. I think for as long as a more or less healthy-ish casey stays in the sport, it would have been unlikely that marc establishes quite the same performance edge as he did over dani... but, well, if anything that would have meant he would have fought even harder out of perceived necessity to win the internal honda wars

it's the kind of thing that can make a relationship quickly deteriorate, especially with a prickly character such as casey, and it's entirely plausible that dynamic would have become strained at best and horrendously toxic at worst... sooner rather than later. and the thing is, this environment would affect marc considerably less than it would casey. again, it's the fact that he relishes the fight... he's very good at shrugging off (most) criticism and thrives in that kind of tension. the emotional fatigue that this scenario generates would be painfully lopsided, where casey offers harsh criticisms and means them and is endlessly frustrated with marc's approach, while marc... doesn't really care. at least dani also had a questionable manager who was conducting behind the scenes warfare on his behalf - casey doesn't want to play these games at all. he just wants to ride a bike, and marc is never going to allow him to live in peace as long as he's an internal threat. if casey were exposed directly to all of that from marc, I doubt he'd walk away from the experience with a particularly positive impression of him

does he walk away? I think there's a decent chance that casey would have ended up so disillusioned with the whole thing that this would have been what pushed him into retirement. if he wants to get out of that mess, let's say after two years, his options would have been pretty limited. yamaha is closed off and I'd struggle to think of a scenario in which either jorge or valentino would have been particularly interested in a direct swap (also, if you're sick of being marc's teammate, you're probably not gonna be jumping at the chance to be valentino's instead). I suppose you could go back to ducati (which he did return to as a test rider so it's not like those bridges were permanently burnt), and maybe casey could do something special even with *gestures* that version of the bike. really though... I think enough would have been enough for him. regardless of the actual balance of success between the pair of them, my guess is marc wins that war because he's happier to get nasty and because he wants it more. casey has his two to four titles... he's done. let him go fishing

[that-was-anticlimactic]

it made me so happy, as ordinary things often do

“You smell like oranges.”

“I do,” Shouto grins. “Do you like it?”

“Mhm.” Hanta pulls his hand to their face. They make a big deal about smelling it, exaggerating the sniff as much as they can, then press a kiss in the middle of his palm. “Makes me think of home.”

[or, shouto wants to show hanta how much he loves them]

🍊2,840 words | seroroki🍊

[batfossil-fr]

I’ve been really thinking of reopening my art shop soon… I’ve been taking some practice doodles (hence all the posting lately) while I shake off my rust and I’m finding things I enjoy working on again. I miss trying my hand at more dragons/OCs and colors. my shop’s so broken rn lmao but that’s a problem for a later date it’s just nice getting back into art

[why-the-heck-not]

09.12.23, saturday

realized waaay too late that the bachelor’s thesis sign up isn’t just a ”click some buttons”-thing, instead u gotta fill out topics u’d be interested in. So I’ve given myself a nice long time of 3 days to decide before the deadline 😌 bc

I’m

dumb !! :)

So spent a good amount panicking & cursing all my life choices bc obv u gotta (i’ve given this 0 thought before this very day (even though I should’ve I’m aware) so like not the ideal situation to put urself in)

Then spent a good amount desperately looking through things and I think I have some sort of vision now (something to do with cyber investigation/cybercrimes (i think,, maybe.. still got a couple days), not too sure exactly what, but a faint idea would be enough for now. It also would make sense; always been interested in criminology (and shit like that) which I also minored in so that’d tie that up nicely)

Nothing else bc made the grave mistake of ”just gonna read a little this morning” and suddenly realizing it’s 2pm and I’ve read like 100pages and done nothing else the whole day

[boundlss]

@saburaito / starter call! ( anton chekhov )

It isn't pride that stays Anton's tongue and prevents him from asking what he knows he needs to. Relying on the strength of others had never been something he'd balked at, after all, neither then nor now. What makes him hesitate is the thought of payment---the promise that once he's made his request, he has no idea how much it will cost him. He's already paid more than his weight in information, after all.

Sabu is not an unreasonable man, at least. In any event, he's better than Dostoevsky. It's only that Anton had hoped to make it by in life without another promise made and debt owed.

"I need to ask something from you," Anton says, voice hoarse with recent disuse and tone wrong with still-unfamiliar syllables. Despite his despair and trepidation, his voice remains steady, and he's even still able to meet the eyes of his prior benefactor. "Protection. Whatever you need, I'll pay."

I would do anything. A sentiment that goes unspoken, but that weaves itself into his tone anyway. If living peacefully is unattainable, then I would do anything to at least live.

[wereh0gz]

I wonder why ppl interpret sonic not jumping at the chance to kill an enemy as him giving "second chances" to bad guys who don't deserve it like eggman

[mortellanarts]

I hadn't read the ztd prologue in a while but I'm midway through writing my fic that could benefit from that knowledge so I finally got around to it with some of my friends and I firstly did not recall Sigma losing his cool that quickly but also the only canonical interaction this Sigma has with this Akane being "Swear future you will not lie to past me about how the end of the world goes down" and her essentially lying about not lying is so good and Phi being just as mad at him as Akane but otherwise staying off to the side oough the dynamics at play there

[cloudsrust]

Patchwork Care (Part 9)

When he had gotten into the elevator, Neon J saw Nova at the end of the hall. Of course, he pretended he hadn't seen his friend; the veteran was more than aware of his surprisingly skittish nature.

Yes, recently his vision had received much-needed upgrades, the reason why he could see Nova so easily. The delayed upgrades weren't for lack of willingness, but ever since the Border Wars, Jun had been sensitive to many sensory inputs, sight being one of them. Initially, he had relied on his radar, but now he felt comfortable with thermal vision. That was the main reason why he chose to keep his distance at first; the sudden drop in temperature on Nova's face indicated to him that he had been caught off-guard.

Even so, Jun missed Aster. They couldn't keep avoiding each other. 

His steeled resolve led him there, leaning against a doorframe as his troops walked out the room hurriedly. Tracking them down was child's play, and doing reconnaissance was even more simple (it wasn't eavesdropping, he would die on that hill if questioned). After pondering for weeks, Jun knew what he wanted to say. As for how he was going to deliver such a message to someone ready to jump ship at a drop of a hat, he had yet to determine that.

As soon as the door shut behind the veteran, Aster babbled nervously, endlessly. Akin to a drowning man, flailing in desperation. Words upon words, Neon J could only watch as he approached. Once seated, the silence was deafening.

Although he could not see colors in a conventional way, the shifting of temperatures was telling; a constant fluctuation of burning white mortification, red shame, and violet guilt. Of course, there was no certain way to say that was an accurate assessment, but Neon J could make a certain judgment given he knew the DJ well.

"Jun-"

"I don't want an apology." That was a bit of a strong start, so the veteran soften his tone, "There's nothing to apologize for-"

"I avoided you for two weeks-"

"Okay, I do want an apology for that, but that can wait. We both know what this is actually about."

"I have no idea what this is about."

"Don't lie, the left side of your face burns up when you do. Don't look surprised either, I got thermal vision not long ago," then again, even if his vision was back to radar-like, there were plenty of ways for Jun to tell when Aster lied. Since they were mostly inconsequential lies, Jun never called him out on them. Plus, it was amusing how his friend always swelled with pride whenever he thought he got away with something.

Tatiana had called him an enabler in the past. It was only now that he was realizing that had not been a joke.

Upon receiving only silence, Neon knew that his friend was probably in the process of overthinking. Feeling bold, the veteran held the astrophysicist's hand, which made the latter jump. 

 "Listen, Nova-"

"Just rip the band-aid off. I know, I ruined everything-"

"Aster-"

"I am an amazing, brilliant person, butwhatdoesitmatterifI'materriblefriend-"

"Aster!"

"Don't yell at me! I startle easily and your years as a captain are showing-"

"Sorry, but in my defense, you were spiraling." Rubbing the back of his neck, Neon stayed silent for a while to see how he could relay the message. At that moment, he realized that military tactics were much easier to perform than having a conversation. With the former, getting hurt was an expected outcome. With the latter though, hurting or getting hurt was something to avoid. As a way of comfort for both himself and his friend, he gave Nova's hand a squeeze.

"I... I am a deeply wounded person, I'm sure you're aware." Jun felt Aster squeeze his hand. Even as nervous as the astrophysicist was, he still tried to comfort the veteran. "War changes people. I changed so much, sometimes I wonder if I am truly myself sometimes, a glorified Ship of Theseus."

The lump in his throat forced him to pause. It was never an easy topic to breach, but the manager was past dreading it. 

"Jun, there's no need to force yourself-

Holding up his free hand to indicate to his friend to save whatever speech he was about to bestow him. Neon wanted to have this conversation with him. Needed to.

"I've gotten better, by my own effort and with the help of others. You've been part of that. I'm grateful. Then, before I knew it, that gratefulness began to be something more."

Aster shifted in place, although thankfully he did not let go of his hand. "I'm not following," his voice was wavery. Jun sensed that there was a hint of bashfulness, maybe even hope underneath the uncertainty.

"Yes you are, you're brilliant."

"Thank you-"

"Seriously, the heat signatures on your face are quite blinding. I didn't think it was possible for your face to get that bright."

The punch to his shoulder was well deserved, but the veteran found it worth it given that his friend finally relaxed enough to process his following words.

"Listen Aster, I do love you. I also understand that your form of love is not defined yet. However, I... This is going to sound embarrassing considering 1010's branding... I'm not ready for love.  I want to be ready; to love and to be loved. I have to work on myself before I involve myself in any relationship though. Frankly, I'm scared of not being able to provide what you need, and I struggle when it comes to voicing my own needs- "

"I'm aware of how stubborn you are when it comes to asking for help." Nova's voice sounded odd; quiet, distant although the playfulness of his statement remained. Although comforting, Jun couldn't remember a time were his friend ever sounded like that.

"Oh hush!" Neon huffed, leaning back against the couch. "... I don't know if this is a selfish request, but can you stay by my side until I'm ready? I might take a while."

Aster remained silent, and Jun felt a pang of fear. Had he overstepped boundaries? Was there something he had misinterpreted? Then, muffled sniffles drew the veteran's attention. When he gazed over at his friend Jun instantly understood what was happening.

"... Are you-"

"I'm not crying!" The DJ lied blatantly. Currently, his face was a kaleidoscope of temperatures, with bright downward streaks of  blue. "I'm just happy..."

With a soft chuckle, Neon responded, "Of course. I felt like that too when I heard your confession. I bet it was startling to witness though, after all my components weren't calibrated to handle so many electrical impulses at once."

"..... That was you emoting joy?"

"You are aware that emotions are electrochemical impulses, right?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do with- Wait," Jun dreaded the fact that his friend was intelligent. He tended to catch on to certain topics too fast, "you... You were so happy that you short-circuited your monitor and overactivated your cooling system, essentially overclocking your entire body?"

"Don't laugh. Star, I'm serious, don't laugh, my components are not cheap."

It was inevitable, as the DJ was reduced to childish giggles. Jun accepted his fate of being eternally teased for his malfunction and laughed with him until they were both wheezing messes, nearly a melted pile on the couch.

The silence now was a comfortable one. The veteran's hand rested warmly in the astrophysicist's.

"Oh!" Aster perked up, seemingly remembering something of importance, "I uh, I made you something... Well, to be more accurate it turned into a group project at some point, and I'll admit that my handiwork is not the best in this case, although I assure you this does not represent the quality of my work," as he rambled, the nervousness became more apparent.

"Show me?"

After fumbling with his satchel, Nova took out...

A nondescript object.

Neon had no idea what it was supposed to be. His thermal vision could only do so much. Even so, graciously he took the object in hand.

The first thing he noticed was that it was soft; various fabrics clumsily stitched together. A particular seam almost made him snort, as there had to be at least five knots keeping the patches together, cotton filling threatening to burst out from in between.

The more he felt, the more Jun began to piece together an image in his head. The elongated neck and head initially made him think of a giraffe, however the circular flaps at the sides and the asymmetrical-in-length legs indicated that it was, in fact, a bird. A bird with a jacket and a hat, the extra fabric hugging the plush tight catching his attention.

The stripes on the sleeves, the almost rectangular patches on its chest, anchor insignia on the marine dress cap... A Vinyl City Marine Captain wearing a dress uniform. Just like him. When his thumb brushed against the fluffy crest of the plush bird, it all clicked. A crane, his favorite animal. Such inconsequential fact about him was remembered by Aster and drove him to create such a wonderful gift, crafted it in a way that, although clumsy, Neon would recognize it by touch alone.

Ever so quiet, ever so hesitant, Nova spoke to him, "Um, his name... His name is Grus, like the crane constellation."

Needless to say, Neon J was going to have to buy some components for himself, again. Although his thermal vision remained, he felt his ventilation system overheat, the internal UI glitched, electric surges coursed his body, short-circuiting his voice box. He figured that the monitor was going to need some replacement parts too. Well, all of that was less important than the fact that he felt loved with a simple and kind gesture.

"O̖̼ͩ͌͐ḣ̖̻͛̓- O̖̼ͩ͌͐ḣ̖̻͛̓ I̍̅̀̎̊ l̙͖̑̾ͣo̯̱̊͊͢v͒̄ͭ̏̇ẹ̿͋̒̕ ḣ̖̻͛̓ỉ͔͖̜͌ḿ̬̏ͤͅ," he sobbed out, hugging the plush crane close to his chest.

Even with his flickering vision, he could tell that Nova was shining bright, a cosmos of warmth, dotted with cold spots when the DJ sputtered, "Hey, there's no need to cry!"

"Ỵ̛̖͋͢o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ s̠҉͍͊ͅā̤̓̍͘y҉̃̀̋̑ that, but y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇'r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕ about to c͕͗ͤ̕̕r̴̨̦͕̝y҉̃̀̋̑ too." Jun pointed out petulantly, "C̵͉͋̔͞ā̤̓̍͘r̴̨̦͕̝ẹ̿͋̒̕f̵͖̜̉ͅư̡͕̭̇l̙͖̑̾ͣ now, y҉̃̀̋̑o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇ p̞̈͑̚͞r̴̨̦͕̝o̯̱̊͊͢b̬͖̏́͢ā̤̓̍͘b̬͖̏́͢l̙͖̑̾ͣy҉̃̀̋̑ don't ḣ̖̻͛̓ā̤̓̍͘v͒̄ͭ̏̇ẹ̿͋̒̕ ā̤̓̍͘ warranty o̯̱̊͊͢ṇ̤͛̒̍ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ glass dome o̯̱̊͊͢f̵͖̜̉ͅ yours."

"Actually, I do, but do you have warranty on literally any of your components?"

"N̺̻̔̆ͅo̯̱̊͊͢, I̍̅̀̎̊ didn't think I̍̅̀̎̊ w̦̺̐̐͟o̯̱̊͊͢ư̡͕̭̇l̙͖̑̾ͣḑ̴̞͛̒ c͕͗ͤ̕̕r̴̨̦͕̝y҉̃̀̋̑ this ḿ̬̏ͤͅư̡͕̭̇c͕͗ͤ̕̕ḣ̖̻͛̓ so s̠҉͍͊ͅo̯̱̊͊͢o̯̱̊͊͢ṇ̤͛̒̍," as if to mock him, the internal fan inside his forearm went up in smoke.

Between tears of joy and relieved laughter, between the activated sprinkler system and the eventual arrival of firefighters, between the highly exasperated scolding of Tatiana, 1010's worried assessment of their health, and the reporters trying to get the latest news, Jun Won and Aster Leavitt stood side by side, hands subtly brushing through it all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you everyone for the wait! College and interships got my hands tied;; Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter too! One Epilogue left!

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Chapters Index: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5  | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | You're Here! ——————————————-

Never been so happy to finally repeat myself once again but remember to go give love to the amazing writer @inkedfeather9 -!!

[kazryuuu]

HELLO, I AM THE OP OF THE DAHLIA HAUNTING KRISTOPH POST. DID YOU SAY YOURE DOING A REWRITE OF THE SEQUELS WITH DAHLIA IN IT??? WOULD YOU LIKE TO ELABORATE PLEASE???? (it's cool if you don't; feel free to ignore this. it just sounded really cool hskdhdk 💞💖💓💝❤️)

YESSS!!!!! I AM! to be clear i REALLY love dd and soj, but everything seemed a bit.. lifeless or confusing after aa4 and i really wanted to include clay in aa4, so i decided im doing a rewrite of the second trilogy !! im gonna do one for the first trilogy as well - but ill focus on dahila and kristoph rq!! in the gavins backstory, they move to LA with their mother so kris can go to a college which happens to be the one dahila and feenie are at, dahila and kristoph meet waaay before feenie and her ever got together - kristoph, is a closeted gay and the two end up pretending to date one another to please kristoph's mother, kristoph is also close friends with feenie and dahila comments on how she knows kristoph likes feenie, kris denies it but she says she'll hook the two up. and what do you know! kristoph finds out after a break (because his mother isnt great and he cares a lot for klavier, so he was staying back home to take care of him) that dahila and feenie were dating. mean girls style ofc, dahila is the cause of the scar on kristoph's hand, a promise to just . ruin phoenix's life when he can, if you look at one of my drawings in a wip comic im doing, college kris has a bandage over his hand and feenie has the necklace dahila gifted him! anyways. story goes on as usual (mostly, still tweaking with stuff) and kristoph visits dahilas grave with klavier once he could. glances at the scar on his hand and it just. throbs. he cut ties with phoenix after college, and once he meets phoenix again, the scar that was just There throbs so much klavier and begged him to try and seek medical attention, one of the many reasons why kristoph is evil is because of the promise he made dahila, and every time he isn't doing said promise he only gets hurt in the process of it. that's sorta the gist of it, the pain lessens once the forgery happens and he 'wraps' a newly disbarred phoenix around his finger, he sees dahila in mirrors, thinks he sees her when he passes places he and phoenix used to hang out at, she's in his Dreams and every waking moment dahila is hanging Right over kristoph.

[etoilebinaire]

I've been meaning to ask for your thoughts about Rasha and Alistair but I somehow wrote it down as "Rasha and Zevran" and now I'm curious your thoughts about both variants. at first glance, Rasha/Zevran are a clear nOTP since Rasha is so paranoid and Zevran could very well be an assassin sent after her a la DA:O scenario... but would they be so incompatible? if Rasha knew that Zevran is an assassin from the start, wouldn't there be something... comforting in that knowledge?

You mean the Rasha that ended up with the Iron “nice to meet you im a qunari spy btw” Bull?

(this is the perfect ask thank you so much, a lot of rambling under the cut!)

Just kidding Rasha and Bull were outright hostile towards each other until they were convinced the other wouldn’t kill them on sight anymore and even then they wouldn’t be friendly until months later and they wouldn’t even start to trust the other a little bit until after a big yelling match after the entire demands of the qun nightmare. They got themselves caught in an enemies to colleagues to friends to lovers pipeline, even if the start was a bit one-sided. And I think it would be very similar for Zevran and Rasha. How to put these thoughts on paper. Zevran and Bull are essentially the same person. Listen. They are. The only real differences is different spy training (crows vs. ben hassrath) and that Zevran is younger. I’ll try to describe Rasha’s thought processes a bit because it’s important to get an understanding, but please know that I don’t think they’re healthy etc it’s just that Rasha is not dealing with things well </3. Ok so, three points about Rasha that need to be mentioned: First of all. Saying you’re an assassin/spy/whatever does NOT help. It only means that if you’re upfront about that you’re hiding something much worse. Rasha will find out if you’re an assassin/spy/whatever either way, you don’t have to tell her, you don’t get brownie points for telling her, she will not trust you more, she would have found out either way. She sees through that attempt at gaining her trust immediately. Second of all. Rasha is probably too morally and dutifully bound to kill or send away help if it offers itself. Would she kill Zevran if he was unconscious at her feet after a failed assassination attempt? Only if she didn’t allow herself a chance to think about it. Would she recruit someone from an order trained to assassinate people in her position if she knew that person would be an asset for the inquisition? Yes, if she was confident she could keep an eye on them, even if she would sleep worse for it. If anything, Rasha hates bad resource allocation and management and the inquisition needs all the help it can get. (also.. divine intervention because I as a player would never send a character away) Third of all. Rasha has incurable “I can fix them” disease. She’s an ass and it will take her forever to get over herself and not be mean to someone she doesn’t trust, but once she does.. She applies all the therapy that she doesn’t get to other people god bles. It’s all Shokrakars fault anyway. SHE was the one who got the ragtag group of tal-vashoth together (the Valo-Kas, Rasha’s old mercenary group from before she got dragged along in the inquisition, Rasha didn’t exactly join that group voluntarily but she somehow got stuck there) and THEY all needed therapy and Rasha was somehow the one person most equipped to deliver said therapy. Something about deflecting and being an outsider but still having somewhat of an understanding because of her parents also being tal-vashoth. You don’t need to trust people to still want to help them.

So all of that combined. With Zevran. Spoilers: I do think they make a great match but how it would happen truly depends on how and when and in what context they meet. - If they just happen to be near each other but not interact, Rasha would probably sniff him out as someone who’s a bit too keen on their surroundings, assume he’s an assassin sent to kill her and destroy the inquisition, and leave. This is her thought process with most strangers.   - Do they meet à la DAO after a failed assassination attempt and Rasha was a target? Zevran is dead, she would cut his throat, end of that. UNLESS her brain caught up with her instincts and she thought about it for a second. Then she would interrogate him, find that he’s very willing to give up whoever hired him, be annoyed at his flirtation attempts, and then accept his request to let him live and join their group. She’d absolutely 24/7 keep an eye on him and not eat food that was in his vicinity and have a constant guard on him and generally be awful. It wouldn’t be fun for any of them, but at least Rasha would have a focus for her paranoia, Zev would live, and their group would have another person to fight alongside them. Resource allocation. Zevran is pretty honest about most of his experience as a crow, and one would think there’s some comfort in that for Rasha. However, him being honest could also be a lie and then it’d just be a manipulation technique to get closer to her and let her get her guard down and she will not fall for that!!!! So her paranoia would get in the way there. The real comforting thing about Zev is that his go-to technique does not work on Rasha. She isn’t moved by flirtation and it’s pretty clear that that’s Zevs usual manipulation/deflection/distraction. I don’t think Rasha would lower her guard around him for a second.

Eventually, I do think they’d exchange assassin techniques and Rasha would be intrigued (and disgusted) by how the crows work. They would bond over being dual wielding bisexual assassins who deeply regret some of their kills. Remember, nr. 3, Rasha does have incurable “I can fix them” disease and she’s all for leaving oppressive regimes so she would absolutely encourage Zevran to leave the crows. It wouldn’t be until she can smell Taliesens blood that she actually entertains the thought of trusting Zevran, but you know, small steps. (I’m assuming, btw, that Zev wouldn’t try to assassinate Rasha unless he was still with the crows no matter the timeline here. This isn’t necessarily DAO with Rasha as warden but what a thought that is. Sten would still be in that cage. Rasha and Shale would be unstoppable together. Rasha would be like “we don’t have time for this there’s a blight to stop” every other mission while still trying to help everyone.) All Rasha’s friends are people who left the qun and are dealing with trauma from that so Zevran would fit right in. Again, they would bond over regretting past kills and I think in convincing Zev that he will have to live with that, Rasha would convince herself that she can live with it as well. Rasha’s true personality really shines through when she tries to help people, and it becomes apparent that she’s actually a kind person. I think that if you look at the bigger picture and her decisions, it already is apparent she’s quite compassionate but she surely doesn’t see it that way and on a small scale she’s usually not very nice, which is what people typically see. Anyway, I think Zevran is a good judge of character and would probably see through that all pretty quickly. Rasha wouldn’t trust him until after him leaving the crows, and even then it’d take some time, but I think they would get along very well after that. As I said, bisexual dual wielding assassins with a past they’re trying to not be traumatized from. Rasha still wouldn’t respond to flirtation because that’s just not her thing. But it very much is Zevrans thing and once Rasha realizes he’s maybe serious and he maybe IS offering she’d be like aight . And then she’d fall like a fucking avalanche. Listen. It takes her a LONG time to warm up to people, like a LONG time, but then it’s down in the deep and there’s no return. It’s like a switch in her brain and it is melted to the metal frame once it flips over. And then eventually Zevran would realize he caught feelings and freak out about it, around the same time Rasha would realize she caught feelings and freak out about it, and maker help the people around them. Zevran’s coping mechanism with being scared is becoming distant but Rasha straight up gets angry when she’s scared. Eventually she would see that Zevran’s scared, realize that she’s scared, and then be like “wait if YOURE scared and IM scared then who’s driving the bus”. She’d sit them both down and be like “there’s no use in us being scared of each other like this we should either be scared together or not be scared at all” and she’d be SO pragmatic about it that it would probably break any potential objection Zevran could think of and then they’d get together.

And they would be amazing together. They would be so annoying. They would call their weapons sexy all the time and do lockpick challenges that Rasha always wins and be SO loud and then deny all plausibility in the morning with a straight face. Rasha would suffer through Antivan poetry if Zevran suffers through Rasha’s spells where she overanalyses the seating arrangements in bars and accuses 5 seemingly random patrons of being shady (she’s right about 4 of them). They have at least 10 knives between the both of them at all times. They would be absolute menaces to their friends with PDA cause Zevran thinks that’s hilarious and Rasha would go along with it to see him smile. Also, Rasha would absolutely love destroying the crows from inside out and she’d excel at it too. No way she’s leaving that all to Zev. Rasha would do well in Antiva. Zevran would not do well in the Frostbacks. Rasha would obviously still get bouts of paranoia about everything including herself and Zevran and their relationship and I don’t think Zevran would know how to handle that and he’d just laugh it off, but if Rasha has any semblance of a support network she’d be fine eventually. Otherwise, they would work extremely well together.

- Do they meet during DAI where Zevran is an ex-crow and wants to help the inquisition? Then he’d be like any other companion and Rasha would be on his ass all the time and distrust him and take a long time to warm up to him (see point 1, Zev saying he’s an (ex) assassin doesn’t help). I think she’d test him a lot, see if he actually does just want to help without any agenda, see if she could sneak up on him without him noticing, see just how observant he is, see how much she could poke before she gets met with the sharp end of a knife. Again, flirting doesn’t work on Rasha so there go 80% of Zevs manipulation/deflection techniques. And again, they’ll eventually bond over being dual wielding bisexual assassins who are trying very hard to not let their past define them. Considering everything, Zevran is pretty well-adjusted so he would “pass” most of Rasha’s inane tests, then they’d hesitantly become friends and eventually they could grow close just like in the scenario above. TLDR: Rasha and Zevran are an OTP disguised as a NOTP just like Rasha and Bull. Rasha would be extremely standoffish to Zevran until he ‘proves’ himself in her eyes and she feels she can trust him somewhat, and then she’d immediately fall in love. Rasha is actually very compatible with the very people she mistrusts the most. -----

That was most of it I promise. Rasha and Alistair is a lot shorter. They definitely wouldn’t match as well as Rasha and Zev. - In a DAI scenario, where Alistair is either king or warden, I don’t think they’d really talk a lot. Rasha would be impressed with his achievements during the blight/his reign as king, but that’s about it. In most scenarios I don’t think they’d catch each others eye either. - In a DAO-ish scenario, where they’re forced to work together and Alistair is around that point in his life.. Rasha would be somewhat empathetic to Alistair struggling with his family, and him missing Duncan, and him not wanting to be king etc. I don’t think Alistair would trigger her paranoia in any significant way. I mean, look at him. He’s kind and overly genuine and even if he does turn out to be dangerous, Rasha could easily kill him before he would even realize what is going on. I don’t think Rasha would be drawn to him aside from her “I can fix them” disease where she’ll try to make him deal with his family/Duncan situation better. They don’t really share a sense of humor and she’d think he was a coward rather than endearing (I am so sorry Alistair I hate to say it). I also genuinely don’t know if Alistair would like Rasha. If they had to work together Rasha would try to be nice. But Rasha can be a little scary with how easily she kills and how violent she is. Plus if he ever stops to think, he’d realize she never shares anything about her own family or past, which is kinda weird? And then he’d ask and then she’d make sure he never asks again by subtly but firmly threatening him. HOWEVER. Alistair has that great thing where he does fall for anyone being kinda nice to him. At least in case of the warden (it’s always a surprise for me when I accidentally trigger his romance please send help). So potentially he could develop a crush on Rasha? Now that wouldn’t go over well. She wouldn’t reciprocate, mostly cause Alistair is just not her type, but also because she wouldn’t believe his affection to be genuine. This is where her paranoia would play up again. Rasha would absolutely think she manipulated him into liking her (she didn’t) and overcompensate by showing him how much of a bad person she is (she isn’t). Like the rose scene in DAO. If he would’ve given a rose to Rasha with a spiel about beauty in darkness and how nobody is grateful enough for all her work she’d question his sanity. THEN she’d be like ‘oh no I manipulated this poor chantry boy into thinking I’m a love interest’, then she’d show him why she isn’t a love interest. Thing #4 about Rasha I realized while typing this: she genuinely believes she’s a bad person (even though all her actions tell differently, it’s her paranoia) and knows that she’s capable of manipulating people, and I think she’d be really scared of manipulating her friends and allies? Which is why she generally prefers to be friends with headstrong people who aren’t that susceptible to manipulation. Which is also why while her paranoia gets triggered around spies, she actually gets along with them very well because they have inside knowledge of manipulation so they have a one-up on her. Like, she might not trust them but she might trust herself more around them, if that makes sense. It probably doesn’t, Rasha’s way of thinking isn’t sensible anyway and I’m bad at explaining it. Anyway, I’m not saying Alistair has a malleable mind, but Rasha sure would think he does, and that would be enough to make her kind of steer clear of him.

[xawkward-ariesx]

Related to the discussion about commenting on older fics. I personally like it when people comment on older fics cus it also reminds me that that fic exists and gives me the chance to reread it divorced from the original stress of writing it, that allows me to remember why I wrote it for myself in the first place

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

ye baiweek day 2 - spicy/second chance

please allow me to humbly recommend this fic, Falling (With Style) !!

in which ye baiyi does indeed get a second chance, thanks to rong changqing inventing cross-dimensional time travel bc he misses his grumpy old friend so much ;A; it's really funny and sweet and i made a lil fanart for it lol

ANYWAY i'll stop pushing it on u lot now~ but it really is very good so pls do give it a chance!!

[declaawed]

"this will help with the pain." [from sugiura to tsukumo. sorry for the anon. i'm not actually an rp blog but i've never seen anyone write tsukumo before and i really wanted to see an interaction between these two. please feel free to ignore if you don't want to though!]

Tsukumo hisses and flinches at the feeling of spray disinfectant seeping into the ragged scrapes that cover his knees and forearms. Even with a warning, that stuff definitely had a kick to it. "Haa... Sugiura-shi, I told you I wasn't the skateboarding type. Heehee, guess I have a stronger gravitational pull toward the concrete."

Despite his early hesitation toward the idea of even humoring skateboarding, Sugiura eventually twisted his arm and morbid curiosity got the best of Tsukumo. He figured he'd give it a shot, since his newly found partner in crime (or solving of crimes) had accidentally purchased two of the same skateboard. And reselling one of them was absolutely out of the question! So, he supposed he asked for this chain of events himself. But with his lack of athletic ability and certain a brain over brawn personality trope; Tsukumo became quite familiar with the Ijincho streets --- and not in the geological sense.

But, the experience made him realize how much of a patient side Sugiura seemed to have; especially with him. Someone who always seemed so haughty and ready for action actually took the time to not only teach a complete amateur something he had no chance of grasping, and even went out of his way to stop by a pharmacy to get the disinfectant that stung his skin and the band-aids that meticulously covered each individual scrape that brandished Tsukumo's skin. Maybe Sugiura was secretly a softie. That made him giggle even more.

|| @ anonymous