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dryad-of-the-dogwood · 1 year ago

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Fanfic Masterlist

I write under the pseudonym Disenchantress on AO3, and I'll always accept prompts for any of my main fandoms as long as the prompt doesn't include a personal squick (mainly SA/dubcon - I don't mind references to past SA handled properly, but I will not write actual SA for my own mental health).

List is only for fandoms I actually still engage with, but there are a few others on AO3 if you're curious.

Dragon Age

A Thread of Fate

Rating: M

Pairing: Alistair x non-Warden f!Cousland

Chapters: 36 (ongoing)

POV: First-person, alternating between Alistair and Cousland

TW/CW: C-PTSD symptoms, panic attacks, dissociation, night terrors, survivor's guilt, assassination, canon-typical violence, sexual content (not exactly smut, I watered it down... okay it's still smut)

Summary: Post-Blight quasi-AU, wherein Alistair was made king by a Warden who died killing the Archdemon and an arranged marriage is proposed between him and Nalissa Cousland, who only survived the fall of Castle Cousland by turning all of her grief into rage. After being captured and tortured in Fort Drakon under Howe's aim of legitimizing his claim to Highever, she trusts no one, especially strange noblemen bearing contracts of marriage. Alistair badly wants to unravel the secrets that are still haunting her, but some of them aren't done trying to kill her yet...

Until the End

Rating: M

Pairing: Alistair x f!Cousland

Chapters: 1 (complete)

POV: Third-person, Alistair focused

TW/CW: Heavy angst, the Calling, canon-typical violence, major character deaths

Summary: Nalissa Cousland searched for years for a cure to the Calling, but every effort left her only with empty hands and diminished hope. Twenty-two years after she became a Warden, she awakens in the palace in Denerim with the song in her ears. After everything they've been through together, Alistair will not let her go into the Deep Roads alone.

Once My Knight

Rating: T

Pairing: Ser Gilmore x f!Cousland

Chapters: 1 (complete)

POV: Third-person, Gilmore and Cousland focused

TW/CW: Angst, major character death

Summary: Backstory on Nalissa Cousland's origin, her first love with one of the knights she grew up beside, and the multiple ways it broke her heart.

Through Fog and Misted Glass

Rating: T

Pairing: Tamlen x f!Mahariel

Chapters: 1 (complete)

POV: Third-person, Tamlen focused

TW/CW: Non-specific references to noncon/rape, major character death

Summary: For Tamlen's entire life, he loved Lurai Mahariel. He swore to protect her from anyone that would dare to hurt her, but the corruption of the darkspawn taint twists his final act into him being the one trying to kill her.

From the Outside

Rating: T

Pairing: Alistair x f!Surana

Chapters: 1 (complete)

POV: First-person, alternating between Alistair and Surana

TW/CW: Heavy angst, suicidal thoughts

Summary: Naeva Surana chose to support Alistair at the landsmeet ten years ago, and for ten years she's regretted it. Alistair, being the one to have burst in and told her that meant they couldn't be together, has only regretted it more. When the Calling begins to affect the entire order, they finally realize there are things that can't be left unsaid, even if it's just in a couple of letters.

Dear Fenris

Rating: M

Pairing: Fenris x f!Hawke

Chapters: 1 (complete)

POV: Third-person, Fenris focused

TW/CW: Heavy angst, major character death

Summary: After the events of Here Lies the Abyss, Fenris receives a raven from the Inquisition. The letter is not from Miranda Hawke, but from Varric, and Fenris might have preferred a blade in the heart instead.

To Mend What's Broken

Rating: T

Pairings: Fenris x f!Hawke, Anders x f!Hawke

Chapters: 2 (complete)

POV: First-person, alternating between Anders and Fenris

TW/CW: Canon-typical Anders and Fenris biases, angst

Summary: A short analysis of what went through Fenris's and Anders's heads when Miranda Hawke seeks comfort with Anders after Fenris breaks her heart, and then once more when Anders does the same during The Last Straw.

Starfield

Edge of Infinity

Rating: M

Pairings: Anders x f!Hawke, Fenris x f!Hawke

Chapters: 1 (complete)

POV: Third-person, Hawke focused

TW/CW: Heavy angst, major character death

Summary: Hawke thought she knew Anders until the moment he destroyed Kirkwall's chantry and everyone inside. And the more she listens to his confession, the more she realizes she knew only him, not the consciousness he's become together with Justice. This last betrayal might be the one that breaks her, because she knows she can't let him go to do the same again.

The Legend of Dragoon

The Grav Jump Tango

Rating: M

Pairing: Sam Coe x f!Spacefarer

Chapters: 10 (ongoing)

POV: Third-person, Sam focused

Summary: The newest member of Constellation, Cassandra Warrick, seems to only ever drop her serious, mission-focused facade when it comes to charming enemies into submission or would-be-friends into staying a safe distance away. Sam tries to both understand her and whether the flirtatious way she tries to throw him off means anything deeper.

The Price of Valor

Rating: T

Pairing: Rose x Zieg Feld (past)

Chapters: 1 (complete)

POV: Third-person, Rose focused

Summary: Ten years after the battle at Kadessa, Rose revisits Gloriano in an effort to convince herself that everything was worth it. There she encounters memories she spent a decade trying to forget and realizes the full weight of fighting alone for eternity.

Rose's Song

Rating: T

Pairing: Rose x Zieg Feld (past)

Chapters: 1 (complete)

POV: Third-person, Rose and Dart focused

Summary: Upon reaching Vellweb, Rose separates herself from the group to visit the towers of the seven Dragoons. Surrounded by the ruins of a life that's no longer hers, a song drifts into her memory and off her lips.

#writing #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #archive of our own #dragon age #starfield #legend of dragoon #fic masterlist

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new-austin · 2 years ago

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Lazy days 💚

#Me posting about tamlen. Who would have guessed #Tamlen #Oc Natan #Mahariel #Dragon age #Austinart #bare chest tw

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royal-babey · 6 years ago

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Laughter

Just a short cute ficlet I wanted to write of Nico and Tamlen’s first meeting as children ^^ Enjoy!

Nico is ten years old when he first meets him.

He and his twin brother had just been transferred from clan Mahariel to clan Sabrae after the death of their father at the next Arlathven. Nico wasn’t happy about it at all, but kept his thoughts to himself for the sake of his brother, who was trying to be strong for the both of them.

Though Nico still heard him cry at night.

Nico’s tears had already ran out.

The young elf was sitting outside by the fire pit, eyes closed and ears twitching every now and then as he listens to the sounds of the forest. The quiet chirping of a bird, the gentle breeze rustling the branches of each and every tree, the animals grazing and scuttling around.

If he tries hard enough, he can pretend he’s back home in Antiva with his father.

He hears someone approaching, but he pays no mind to it. He figures they’re going to talk to the hahren or something. No one had spoken to him, thinking him a cold and unfriendly child. He heard their ‘’concerned‘’ whispers. He also didn’t care much for them. He didn’t care much for people either.

‘’Hello?’’

Nico hears the voice of a young boy speaking Elven. The dialect of it was much different than the Antivan one Nico was used to, but he could still understand.

It took Nico a second to realise he was talking to him. Slowly, he opened purple eyes, and looked up to meet icy blue ones staring at him in curiosity.

Nico had never seen such a beautiful pair...They almost felt like they were staring into his soul.

It was uncomfortable, so he focused his sight on something else instead. Like the messy blonde hair atop the boys head. At least then he was still looking at him instead of the ground, which he was always chided for.

Nico didn’t speak. He never spoke to anyone. He hoped the boy would get bored and leave, but...He didn’t. Instead, the blonde boy sat down next to him.

‘’You’re Nico, right? I’m Tamlen! And from now on, I’ve decided that we’re going to be friends! Okay?’’

Nico is...Very taken aback by that. Firstly because ‘’Tamlen’’ could tell he and his brother apart, and then because...He wanted to be Nico’s ‘’friend’’?

Nico waited for him to continue, but...He didn’t. Was he perhaps waiting for a reply? Nico wasn’t quite sure what to say to him, but he was curious...

‘’...You know I’m not Dima?’’

Nico hadn’t been looking at Tamlen when he spoke quietly, but when he did look, the fellow elf was...Grinning at him. Nico just stared before Tamlen seemed to remember himself and stopped, quickly answering again, excited to try and keep the conversation going.

‘’Yep! You’re always making this face. See?’’

Nico watched on in curiosity as Tamlen tried to replicate Nico’s inexpressive face. He managed to hold it for about five seconds...Before his face broke out into a grin again.

Nico looked away, feeling a tickle, the beginnings of laughter, in his chest. He covered his mouth in a desperate attempt to hide it, but...Ultimately he failed.

In just a few moments he burst out laughing. He simply couldn’t stop himself! Seeing someone so happy with such a serious expression was greatly amusing to him for some reason. He laughed until he was lying on the ground, clutching his stomach, tears gathering in the corner of his eyes.

By the time he actually managed to calm down, he was struggling to catch his breath. But he felt a lot lighter than he in a while. When he sat back up, wiping his eyes on the back of his hands, he noticed that several of the elders were watching him with small smiles. Just after he was being knocked back down again by a pair of arms around him. Tamlen’s arms...But he let go just as quickly as he threw himself at Nico, and then stood up.

He helped Nico up too, and gave him a final smile.

“Your laugh is really nice! You should do it more often! Your smile is pretty too!��

And then as quick as ever, he runs off. Leaving Nico flustered and confused, but...Pleasantly so.

#my oc #dragon age #dragon age origins #Nico Mahariel #Tamlen Sabrae #fluff #childhood memories #children #Nico’s first friend!!!#tw mentions of death #writing #^w^

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kettlequills · 3 years ago

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black emporium exchange fill: anything, anything

now all the gifts have been revealed, i can finally post this! done for little_abyss. pretty proud of this one! TW: grief/mourning, implied/referenced self harm, blood magic, implied sexual content, violence. Audacity/Merrill.

What would you risk, to save it all? // In the aftermath of Tamlen's disappearance, Merrill meets a spirit that calls itself Audacity.

Merrill met Audacity in a nightmare.

It was the same one it always was. Every night, back there, like she’d never left, heaving-sick in the belly of a boat, emerging coughing into the dampness of the Marches, the least free she’d ever been. The City of Chains had grinned at the elves it swallowed into its docks, and the mages had escaped only by hiding their staffs. Merrill remembered the smell of the lyrium-lingering Templars, the dense crush and press of human bodies and sweat. She had never seen so many people before in her life. In the nightmare, though, she was alone.

The mirror was dark and taunting in the hollow embrace of the crumbling ruins of the Brecilian Forest, where no wise Dalish went. In it, the fleeing edge of Tamlen’s back through the mirror, imagined, for Merrill hadn’t been there, wondered, sometimes, if it would have taken her instead. Wondered, sometimes, if that’s what Marethari would have wanted. Wondered if that was what Merrill wanted.

Merrill saw the hunter’s mouth, spilling black taint. Merrill had been there for that like she hadn’t been for Tamlen, there for the way he’d coughed and gasped, bubbling on the fluid in his lungs, as Merrill cast spell after spell to save him. Even blood only delayed the inevitable. For nothing, in the end. The clan never looked at Merrill quite right after that. Like she’d walked away and come back ghoulish from the ruins, like they’d kissed her, smeared her with a stain that was all the clan saw when they looked at Merrill’s face marked with the same gods they wore. Like the Creators hadn’t made blood with magic in it to be used.

Death when it came for him had darkened the hunter’s eyes to smudges and the hollows of his cheeks like he was gaunt, an old creature in a young hunter’s body. Like the ancients, wrathful wraiths that waited, cursing Fen’harel the Trickster for taking their gods away and shattering their curse-mirrors to the realm of dreams and demons that whispered, help me.

Through the mirror, she could see them – their ancestors, their people, their suffering faces and their tear-grave eyes, screaming as they clutched to them Tamlen, who had always been kind to Merrill. Tamlen’s gaze was spawn-dark, his smile was gone, gone, and he had no kindness left for Merrill, none at all. Was he with the Creators now?

Like clockwork, the mirror shattered, and Merrill was left, looking into in her own eyes. Green as grey-leaves, lost, and confused, alone against the darkness. Or almost alone. Around her feet, the bodies of her clan, spawn-bloated, blood-drained, Marethari’s staring eyes accusing, accusing. The blood between her toes that soaked and squirmed like her skin soaked it up, to replace the blood she’d lost on the hunter. The blood she’d given with a knife jagged as the mirror-shard and hope cutting each breath and each poisoned promise she begged from the hunter’s blight-licked lips.

Help me, the demon whispered. Help me.

Merrill closed her eyes and prayed to wake up. Every time, she feared it was real, felt immeasurable relief when she saw the rippling fabric of the aravel and knew herself among her clan and alone, except for her dead – Tamlen’s face, the hunters they’d lost along the way. This time, she opened her eyes in the dream, and knew she was not.

The demon was there, and it saw her.

On the green slopes of the Fade beneath Sundermount, Merrill felt the hole in the world. The Fade here was rippled and pinched, like a scar. Kirkwall was a burning blister in the distance, the howling grief of the city swelling like a canker, night after night. The sea-wind was foul and carried the screams of darkspawn-fodder, left behind on the docks of Ferelden but for the price of passage.

(Ferelden, where Tamlen’s body didn’t rest, uneaten by the worms that had crawled through the eyesockets of Brecilian Forest elves for decades of generations. The mirror shard pressed like a dagger into her skin through her pocket. It was heavier here, in the Fade, and warm like a breathing creature. Merrill always felt it. Always just on the edge of cutting her. Disagreements with Marethari had grown more and more pointed, and the shard sharper and sharper.)

Sunken into the darkness, the hole in the Fade where the demon cried was in the shape of chains. They sloshed when Merrill tugged them, curious, and her hands came away sticky and red. Help me, the chains whispered in elvhen voices, remember me.

“I remember you,” said Merrill, moved, and she saw in her eye a white-haired man, an elf, old, old as the mountain, close his eyes in bitter suffering. His face had no Dalish tattoos at all, but he carried around his shoulders a wolf-pelt. His throat smiled in a wet gash, and the chains pushed their way out like the grasping hands of an infant, out of his blood, out of his body. In his closed eyelids were mirrors.

The ancient ones slept on Sundermount, but they did not rest.

“Do you, brave elfling?” asked a voice, strained, indistinct, and Merrill looked for it – found-

The demon was bound, like the old elf, and it was beautiful. It was like something that had never been a wolf, with more eyes than legs, and the spiralling horns and scales of a dragon. The fur pushed its way out between the scales like vines, like the pitch between the boards of a ship. It smelled of shem-wine and the gull-cries of the new shore, of dusty books and magic. It was vaguely purple like forget-me-nots, each coloured scale smooth as an old statue, washed clear by the ages. Sparks cracked and snapped in its nostrils when it breathed laboriously, and its eyes, seven, maybe eight of them, looked at Merrill like a challenge.

Like they saw her, beneath her dead.

“What are you?” Merrill asked the demon because it paid to be polite. She had never seen Pride like this before, proud enough to ask for help, proud enough to demand it. Maybe desperation had made itself bedfellow in its purpose. The things that Merrill had done for desperate love of her clan – she knew that it could make any feeling stretch liquid to fill the containment of necessity.

The chamber it lay in was as red as the secret inside chamber of a peeled heart. Elfsblood was dark, dark and still warm where it rose around Merrill’s calves. When she opened her mouth to speak, the air tasted of iron and the adrenaline just before a bone-snapping fall. It was dizzying. Merrill had never been so conscious of her aliveness.

“Anything,” said the demon. “Anything I want to be. I am the pride of every one of us who has gone before. I am the boldness of the sun swallowing the night. I am Audacity.”

“Where are you?” Merrill asked. “Did you kill these people?”

“Hurting,” said Audacity. “Do you dare to help me?”

Now – Merrill wasn’t born yesterday, contrary to what Marethari thought. But after that night, she didn’t have that nightmare any longer. Instead, she had Audacity.

“What can you teach me?” Merrill asked the demon.

They were in the Fade again. Merrill sat and felt the warm blood ebb and flow around her knees. She gazed into her eyes in the shard of the mirror and Audacity’s fingers – humanlike, since Merrill had met Hawke, but still clawed, like Fenris’ gauntlets – curved over Merrill’s shoulder. Their body was feminine, crowned with feathers over the shoulders like Anders’ coat, dragonlike, wolflike, piratelike, since Merrill had met Isabela. Audacity’s breasts against Merrill’s back felt like the hand between the shoulderblades that pushed Merrill tumbling over the cliffs into the tossing waves of new experience, of the melting pot that was Kirkwall – comforting, warm, sure, since Merrill had met Varric. Audacity’s face was approximately elvhen ever since Merrill had met her own eyes in the cracked washbasin in the Alienage and known herself, but the band of crowning horns around the delicate, scaled features gleamed Aveline-sure and Aveline-strong.

Merrill’s dark hair was a raven’s wing against Audacity’s shock-storm cheek. Audacity’s chin was the pointed fork of a tree struck by lightning against a black wreathing sky, defiant til the end, against Merrill’s shoulder. Promise hung about it like perfume. Audacity held Merrill close, like no one could for Tamlen, like no one had for the dead hunter. Except Merrill.

There was Tamlen’s absence in the sanguine wetness that stained Merrill’s feet and Merrill’s hands and Merrill’s magic, and that left footprints when she walked in the Fade. The Blight sung its discordance through the bones of Merrill’s dream where she held the mirror shard. Where Audacity held Merrill and Merrill held the mirror shard.

It was warm and hard in Merrill’s hands, but her flesh was soft and chilled from the blood, the dream, the shadow of the nightmare Audacity ate, and it dimpled against Audacity’s searching grip. The chains clanked and shifted, heavy as snake-coil, all muscle. Merrill felt the echo of them, when Audacity was this close, in their corner of the Fade. In the warmth they made together, in that secret little hollow between Audacity’s spiritstuff ribs and Merrill’s thundering heart.

Audacity’s nose found its resting place in the shadow behind Merrill’s pointed ear, and it said, in its voice of the People whose blood wrapped manacles around Audacity’s spirit and Audacity’s body it had made for holding Merrill, “Anything.”

“Anything?” Merrill echoed, and Audacity’s pointed teeth grazed Merrill’s neck when its lips measured her pulse. Its clawed hand spanned Merrill’s stomach like the pinpricks of knives, like the rusty spikes that stabbed through Kirkwall’s walls and its listless summer heat.

“What will you dare to learn? What will you risk to know?” It was probably lonely, prideful creature, all alone in its pit of blood, Merrill thought. Kept apart from the world, soaked in death. When Audacity’s new-made fingers curled in the fabric of Merrill’s tattered and torn-again shirt, Merrill thought she felt desperation there. Hunger, there.

Or maybe that was Merrill’s own. It hadn’t asked her to free it. But Merrill dreamed of it in the daylight, its pointed tongue, its enamel-bone horns.

Anders called her a fool. But Merrill looked at him and saw Justice engraved in the lines of his flesh, and thought – Audacity would hate that.

“Tell me,” Merrill tipped her head back against Audacity’s cheek, felt its not-breath against her skin, its razor-crack singe of electric-tail looped around her thigh. It made her nerves prickle like they did when Merrill tried sips of the foul alcohol Varric pushed on her, chuckling with warm whiskey eyes when she coughed and spluttered. Never sweet, shem-ale and shem-wine. Not like Dalish Red. Not like Audacity. “Tell me of the pride of the Elvhen.”

Audacity’s words were rhythmic and soft, and they wove into her thoughts like glue for the mirror she made with blood and guile, each piece painstaking, weeks of work.

“Where are you, kitten?” Isabela needled once, halfway through a game of Wicked Grace with Merrill’s wrist limp and her mind sore with mental equations of metallic magic. Merrill looked at her and thought of Isabela’s lips, so soft, so inviting, so warm when she laughingly kissed Merrill on dares she made up, spewing darkspawn bile like the hunter’s had, at the end.

What was behind the mirror? Was Tamlen there, waiting, like Audacity was with brighter eyes like coals fanned with the sighs lovers made each time when Merrill rested her head against the thin pillow in her damp little house in the Alienage? Merrill wanted to know. Wanted to save her People. They had known once. The knowledge was there, locked away under the dusty sheafs of history. There was a way to fix the mirror, Merrill just had to be –

“Brave,” Audacity called her, when Merrill gripped its face between her hands and felt its scales cut her palms. Her blood mixed with the seething sea of everyone who had come before her that surged around Merrill’s hips, bracketing Audacity’s grapevine thighs. Its voice was the storm of Sundermount, deep as the sleep of the ancients that waited in the heart of its peak.

“What do you want from me?” Merrill asked Audacity, all of her breath left inside of Audacity’s chest, its mouth that tasted of sparks and stepping in front of charging carriages.

“Anything,” said Audacity, “What are you bold enough to give me?”

Anything, thought Merrill, for the taste of the strength to keep going with the thankless task of repairing the mirror, of banishing the Taint a cut at a time. She felt always faint, these days. The blood in Audacity’s prison was richer than ever. And Tamlen was still gone, the dead still distant, and the clan ran away from her when Merrill wandered the hunting paths.

Merrill answered by biting Audacity’s lip until it burned in her mouth and she saw herself reflected in the ivory mirror of Audacity’s scales. Her own eyes seared into Merrill’s soul, her face in the blood, in the scale, in the chain and the old man whose neck smiled redly. In Audacity, who moaned and met her touch for touch, kiss for kiss.

All spirits are dangerous, she said to Anders, I understood that. I’m sorry you didn’t.

Audacity traced the edge of the mirror shard that was as heavy as Merrill’s dead with a claw white as bone. Their reflection together was beautiful in the mirror’s Blighted face, Audacity’s horns spiralling over Merrill’s head while its lips kiss her hair. The ivory tips were beaded with red, red, from where Audacity had laid in the blood underneath Merrill and twisted and gasped, like it felt pleasure in the body it had made to hold Merrill. The horns crowned Merrill like thorns, like the spirals of vallaslin that marked her face.

“What will you risk to find out what your People have lost?” Audacity asked, its clawed palm upraised where it wrapped its arm around Merrill’s waist like a chain, an offering, a promise. Its skin was scale-soft when Merrill kissed the pad of its thumb, and its fingers twitched, as if it fought not to hold her cheek.

And Merrill said, “Everything.”

#dragon age #da2 #merrill #audacity #dragon age 2 #dragon age ii #dragon age origins #dao #da origins #inkwrites #black emporium #black emporium gift exchange

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perkeleen-lavellan · 4 years ago

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Zevran 1, Alistair 2, and Morrigan 2 from the Warden Asks, for Valo!

For the Dragon Age Asks: Warden + Companions ask meme ( join the fun)

Zevran 1. How did your Warden react to Zevran’s failed attempt on their life? Were they amused? Angry?

(TW for Valo’s somewhat suicidal state of my mind)

Valo began his career as a warden after Marethari and Duncan unanimously forced Valo to stop looking for Tamlen, and Valo convinced himself he had abandoned Tamlen, whom he loved, to his death. When he learned that the joining ritual might be lethal he found comfort in the idea that fate, the universe or whatever gods listened might be merciful and end his life there.

After this Valo adopted the approach to every battle, every decision and every danger he faced during the blight, that perhaps this one would be the last one. Valo wasn’t actively trying to end his life so much as hoping the world would give him some reprieve by letting him die for a good cause.

When Zevran ambushed the group and literally declared he was there to kill the wardens Valo basically thought ‘we’ll see what happens’. He would never purposefully lose a fight or hold back, because that would go against his sense of duty, and we know which one won the fight, don’t we? Valo spared Zevran’s life easily, because elves should look out for each other, and Valo quite simply didn’t want to kill Zevran so wastefully. Not just for the sake of the security of someone like himself.

In the beginning of Zevran’s stay with the party him and Valo both have this casual curiosity about whether Zevran will decide to try to kill Valo again and escape, if he will just sneak away and escape leaving everyone alive, or if he will stay. Until it becomes obvious that Zevran decided to stay a long time ago. They get along though. Zevran manages to amuse Valo despite everything and Valo treats Zevran with respect despite all the internal bullshit he’s going through. They have a physical relationship that’s unhealthy but relative to their situation they get along .

Alistair

2. Did Alistair’s parentage surprise your Warden? How did your Warden’s feelings on the nobility affect their relationship with Alistair?

Far as Alistair’s big reveal is concerned Valo doesn’t react to it with much surprise, mostly because to him it’s one and the same who’s the king of Ferelden, seeing as either way his and his clan’s life will be the same. What Valo focuses on is perhaps how Alistair is uncomfortable with the baggage that his father’s identity comes with. Valo can see himself, always being told what an amazing Keeper his father was, every parental and authority figure in his life just assuming that Valo too would be a great leader and pressuring him towards the role of a future hahren and a lore keeper, when Valo would have preferred becoming a full-time hunter.

He sympathizes with Alistair but Alistair tends to be the one approaching Valo to ask for his opinions and to confide in him. Valo is too withdrawn to really attempt to build some kind of friendship with Alistair. Alistair just kind of gets through to him with determination.

(Since we’re talking about Alistair’s parentage I would love a world where Valo points out some of Alistair’s more elven features and that Goldanna’s mother must have been an elf. And maybe some day Alistair looks into things and finds out about Fiona, post-blight.)

Morrigan

2. Did your Warden agree to help Morrigan kill Flemeth? Why or why not?

Oh Valo absolutely agreed to kill Flemmeth. Valo finds himself treating Morrigan like he used to treat Merrill, when she was super new to the clan. He used to go out of his way to be patient with her and to try to understand Merrill’s feelings, even though she sucked at vocally expressing them. Valo sees Morrigan as being similar with Merrill in that way, and the familiarity is comforting.

Valo trusts Morrigan’s emotions as opposed to what the things she’s asking might seem like on a surface level, maybe a little foolishly so.

Thanks for indulging me mocha <3

#tw suicice #long post #dragon age asks: warden + companions #ask meme #my characters #valo mahariel #the warden

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a-gay-bloodmage · 2 months ago

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Day 31: Landmark

(Morrigan x Orest Mahariel and Past Tamlen x Orest Mahariel)

Back in the Brecilian forest, Orest Mahariel tells his new friends about the places he remembers from his childhood. Some landmarks bring back good memories, some bad, and yet they all seem to be tainted by a sadness he can’t bring himself to speak about.

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shadowcutie · 5 years ago

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Dragon Age Modding

The list of Dragon Age Origins & 2 & Inquisition mods I personally use. I haven’t played DA in a long while, so I’ve found some mods since then I want to try but haven’t gotten to yet. Much love for the game and modders. DA2 has a short list because it’s already perfect lolol.

Full list below:

Dragon Age: Origins

Alistair Specific

Fare ye well Duncan - [download]

Just a tiny addition

Alistair’s Revised Romance - [download]

Overhaul with some new features and scenes, not sure if it conflicts with the other stuff, haven’t tried it yet.

Conflicts with Gatekisses, Better Sex Cutscenes, Alistair’s Proposal, The_Proposal, and some ZDF Dialog Fix files

Alistair Visible Kiss - [download]

Show the smooooooooooooch

A Magical Kiss - [download]

New scene

Kiss kiss fall in love

Alistair Romance Appetite - [download]

New scene

“Increased appetite”

Alistair Romance Attraction - [download]

New scene

Squirrels bruh

Eavesdropping - [download]

New scenes

A few scenes depending on who has been recruited, how far the relationship is along, etc.

Alistair’s Nightmare - [download]

New scene

Needs Sleep until Dawn, I believe.

The Steamy Bits - [download]

New scene

Hotspring scene

Hot Water - [download]

New scene

Lake scene

Moonlit bath - [download]

New scene

Bath scene

First Night - [download]

Modified scene

The first night together

Alistair’s Fear - [download]

New scene

Post Riordan talk

The Last Night - [download]

Modified scene

Night before the final battle, no dark ritual

Alistair’s Dark Ritual - [download]

Modified scene

Night before the final battle, dark ritual

Conflicts with some ZDF Dialog Fix files

A Hero’s Sacrifice - [download]

New scene

Warden or Alistair sacrifice, romance

Conflicts with A Warden’s Sacrifice so only pick one

Alistair’s Proposal - [download]

New scene

Proposal post game

The Royal Wedding - [download]

New scene

Wedding epilogue for Queen consorts

The Grey Warden Weddings - [download]

New scene

Wedding epilogue for non Queen consorts

I haven’t tried this one yet

Funeral Kiss - [download]

Modified scene

Warden’s funeral

Conflicts with some ZDF Dialog Fix files

Alistair’s Funeral - [download]

Modified scene

Alistair’s funeral

Improved Romance Scenes and Fixes - [download] or [download]

Two people reuploaded the mod, looks like they’re gonna be consolidating it into one maybe...but I’ll leave both links just in case

Modifies and adds new dialogue/scenes to the entire romance

Conflicts with Alistair Dialogue Patch, some ZDF files, Improved Atmosphere, Unofficial DA:O Fixpack, and any mods that alter alistair_main file

Zevran Specific

Zevran ASAP - [download]

Because reasons!!

Zevran Kisses - [download]

Smooch your elf!

Looks like this is packaged into Zevran Romance Scenes, so you don’t need this if you have ZRS.

Zevran Romance Scenes - [download]

Modified scene

Intrigues of an Antivan Crow - [download]

New scenes

Zevran Open Wedding - [download]

New scene

Wedding post game, no Queen consorts or King consorts

Covers all but Dalish Wardens, you’ll need TW Zevran Wedding for them

TW Zevran Wedding - [download]

I haven’t tried this one yet

Only covers Dalish Wardens, you’ll need Zevran Open Wedding for the other Wardens

Zevran Ring - [download]

Make sure you eventually get his gift bruh

ZDF Dialogue Fix - [download]

Conflicts with some Dark Ritual, Zevran Kisses, and Alistair’s Revised Romance files

Cousland Specific

Of Noble Cast - [download]

Gives Cousland the fancy finery they deserve

Cousland Family Mementos - [download]

Family trinkets

Farewell Ser Gilmore - [download]

Modified scene

Revenge of the Cousland - [download]

New scene

Kill the bastard Howe! Have a little moment.

Human Noble Love Scenes - [download]

Intimate scene with Iona or Dairren, if invited, before....well you know what happens next.

Dalish Specific

Tamlen’s Flower - [download]

New scene

Tamlen’s Kiss - [download]

New scene

Sabrae Clan Farewell - [download]

New scene

Killing Tamlen - [download]

New scene

Conflicts with Karmas Origins Companions (for obvious reasons)

Tamlen’s Last Goodbye - [download]

New scene

Conflicts with Karmas Origins Companions (for obvious reasons)

City Elf Specific

Hugs for Tabris - [download]

Mage Specific

Cullen Romance Option - [download] [download reupload] [download]

Mini romance

Deleted, it was reuploaded

Anders in the Circle - [download]

Non Specific

The Rescue at Ishal - [download]

New scenes

Showing the Tower of Ishal rescue by Flemeth

Hugs - [download] - [reupload]

Adds hugs, because DAO didn’t make me cry enough the first time

Only for Dalish and Cousland, Hugs for Tabris has City Elf covered...but the rest are out of luck for now.

Sleep Until Dawn - [download]

New scenes

Cuddle with your love interest!

More Options at the Pearl - [download]

New scenes

Pearl encounters with the love interests and other characters too

Battle speech party - [download]

Party visible during the final battle speech

Gatekisses - [download]

Adds smooches to the final goodbye before fighting the Archdemon

Haven’t tried it yet, we’ll see

Conflicts with Alistair’s Revised Romance, though only with the Alistair parts of Gatekisses (I assume)

Better Sex Cutscenes - [download]

Modified scenes

Conflicts with Alistair’s Revised Romance

A Warden’s Sacrifice - [download]

New scenes

Alistair sacrifice while romanced; Warden sacrifice while romancing Leliana, Zevran, Alistair; or Warden sacrifice while romancing Morrigan with dark ritual

Conflicts with A Hero’s Sacrifice so only pick one

New NPCs/Companions/Romance

Anders’ Mini Romance - [download]

Mini romance

Karmas Origins Compaions - [download]

Cullen, Jowan, Gorim, Ser Gilmore, Tamlen, Soris, Leske, Adela, and Ox companions

Romances for all but Ox, and some of them are locked by gender/origin

Conflicts with Killing Tamlen and Tamlen’s Last Goodbye (for obvious reasons)

Ser Gilmore Companion NPC Fully Voiced - [download]

omg which gilmore mods do I download??? guess I’ll try them all

Works with and overwrites the Karmas Ser Gilmore, but this one is fully voiced and much more extensive

Hawke family in Lothering - [download]

Replaces NPCs with Carver, Bethany, and Leandra in Lothering

Female Hawke at Ostagar - [download]

Replaces NPCs with Hawke in Ostagar, Aveline and Ser Wesley to Lothering

Gameplay

Lock bash - [download] - Just bash open the freaking chest…

Insufficient skill

… *WHAM*

No Restrictions - [download] - Removes item restrictions

Add item with console - [download]

[Skip the Fade], [Shortcut through the Deep Roads], and [Skip Ostagar] are mods to consider if you’ve played as many times as I have.

Voice

Human Female Cocky Voice - [download] - Adds a voice set

Universal Voices - [download] - No racial restrictions for voice sets

Graphics & Models

Theta HD - [download] - Texture and graphic stuff

Tranquil Tattoo - [download] - Give the Tranquil their mark

DAI Vallaslin - [download] - Swaps DAO vallaslin for DAI vallaslin

Body graphics

Natural Bodies - [download]

NPC graphics - If I cared about making the game look 100% how I want it to, but I don’t remember ever using them.

DA2 Isabela and Flemeth to DAO - [download]

DA2 Merrill and Marethari to DAO - [download]

Retconned Cullen - [download]

Armor graphics

Helmet Hack - [download] - Hide the ugly helmets

Grey Wardens of Ferelden - [download]

Changes the Grey Warden armor to the DA2/DAI style

Feminized Massive Armor - [download]

Slims and fits and armor for females

Neutral Female Armor - [download]

Armor stays the same except one detail…no boob

Crush those bad boys

Items

Romance Mementos for Awakening - [download]

Mementos based on relationship with Alistair

Prison Clothes - [download]

Clothed Prisoners - [download]

Just in case you use Natural Bodies or whatever and don’t want to see random naked dudes

Other

Rose of Eternity - [download]

Haven’t tried it yet.

Uprising - [download act I] [download act II] [download act III]

Haven’t tried it yet.

Human Commoner Origin - [download]

Haven’t tried it, but sounds interesting.

————————————————————————————-

Dragon Age 2

Gameplay

No Restrictions - [download]

Repeatable romance scenes - [download]

Zevran Romance Dialogue Fix - [download]

Zev stays faithful! Just in case

Hawke graphics

Chargen revamp - [download]

Playable Elf race - [download]

Ra’Lah PJs - [download]

Fancy finery for your girl

I use ‘ralah-pk-1′ (white no metal piece) or ‘ralah-pk-3′ (red)

Amell Ancestral Arms - [download]

Two armor sets

NPC models

DA2 Zevran Fix - [download]

Alistair and Teagan - [download]

Unique Face Textures for companions - [download]

HR Fenris Armor - [download]

HR Anders Armor - [download]

Cullen Rutherford - Inquisition Head Port - [download]

DAI Cullen model into DA2

————————————————————————————-

Dragon Age Inquisition

Character Customization

Enhanced Inquisitor Sliders - [download]

Overhauls the CC to allow for greater customization.

I haven’t tried it out, but I want to!!!

SOS Brows on Fleek - [download]

New high-res brows

Hair

Hair retexture - [download]

Side Braid with Bun - [download]

EF, HF

Replaces braided bun hair

Ponytail Twisted Curls - [download]

EF, HF, DF

Replaces the default ponytail

Elven Hairstyle 1 - [download]

EF, EM

Replaces hair down part on the left

Cme’s Hair Pack - [download]

EF, HF - Alternate Bun replaces the bun

EF, HF - Wavy Long/Short or Wavy Pulled replaces hair down part on the left

Hair for Human Male - [download]

Replaces the long hair with bangs

Single Braid - [download]

QF, QM

Replaces the braids with horns

Loose Side Braid - [download]

EF, HF

Replaces the shaved sides hairstyle

Hairstyle Day DAI - [download]

EF, HF, DF

Replaces the long hair with one side shave style

Long Pulled Back Hair Variants - [download]

With bangs - EF, HF, DF

No bangs - EF, EM, HF, DF

Replaces the half ponytail

Pulled Back Twisted Curls - [download]

EF, HF, DF

Replaces the half ponytail

Anto Hairstyles - [download]

Crown Braid hairstyle - [download]

EF, HF

Replaces braided hairstyle

Tattoos

Vaimah’s Vallaslins - [download]

New and unique vallaslins that look lore friendly to me!

Inquisition Vallaslin Changes - [download]

DAO vallaslin in DAI

Horns

Halla horns for Qunari - [download]

Replaces 01C, 04c, 07c with halla horn meshes/textures

Clothing

Eggs without Hats - [download]

Qunari Headwear - [download]

Elegant Victorian Inquisitor Armor - [download]

Starter armor replacer, Josephine clothing replacer, Winter Palace replacer, and armor replacer versions for HF

Starting armor

Immersive Starting Armors - [download]

I use ‘TMM Starting Armours - Dalish’, ‘TMM Starting Armours - Dwarves’, and ‘TMM Starting Armours - Human Adventurer Armours’

Invisible Starting Armor - [download]

Shows Skyhold PJs or whatever retextures instead of armor

Winter Palace outfit

Winter Palace outfit retexture - [download]

I use ‘Formal Attire Option 1A’

Skyhold PJs

Human female Skyhold outfit retextures - [download]

I use ‘Human Female PJs - Black No Sash’ or ‘Human Female PJs - Red No Sash’

Raven Feathers Skyhold PJs - [download]

I want to try it out, it looks so pretty

Human male Skyhold outfit retextures - [download]

I use ‘Human Male PJs - Leather w Buckles’ or ‘Human Male PJs - Velvet Doublet’

I prefer Herald PJs though

Herald PJs - [download]

HM, EF

I use for HM only

Dalish Elf Skyhold outfit retextures - [download]

EF, EM

I use ‘Dalish Elf Female Pajamas’ and ‘Dalish Elf Male Pajamas’

Casual Jammies retexture - [download]

I use ‘ef-white shirt - not tintable - all skintones’

I prefer Dalish Elf Skyhold oufit retexture, but this one is super cute too

Qunari Skyhold outfit retexture - [download]

QF, QM

I use ‘Qunari Female Skyhold Outfit’ and ‘Qunari Male Skyhold Outfit’

The Carta Cut Dwarf Skyhold retexture - [download]

DF, DM

I use ‘DF Carta Vest and Jackets’ and ‘DM Carta Vest and Jackets’ or ‘DF Gambeson’ and ‘DM Orzammar Finery’

Gameplay

Open All Halla Doors - [download]

War Table No Waiting - [download]

No Perk Requirements - [download]

More Influence - [download]

Complete Schematics and Collectables Collection - [download]

Armor no class restriction - [download]

Arden Blossom Misc Store - [download]

Party at the Winter Palace - [download]

Party still set, but all recruited companions are at the ball

Tidarion Enchanter - [download]

Knight-enchanters using the Blade of Tidarion...but with melee abilities.

Bloodmancer and Arcane Warrior - [download]

Modifies Necromancer and Knight-Enchanter skill trees to be more like blood magic and arcane warrior.

Conversation Wheel Overhaul - [download]

Intended to make companions approve/disapprove more often, unlocks limited and unused dialogue options, rename dialogue options to more closely reflect what inquisitor actually says, etc.

All Skill Trees for Inquisitor - [download]

Requires [No Class Restrictions on Weapons] and enables Inquisitor of any class to equip and use any weapon and ability (with some buggy restrictions), could be worth a try if nothing else.

Other

DAI Tools Suite Loader - [download]

Any Voice - [download]

All voice options available for any gender.

Combat dialogue is handled differently so there are optional files you’ll want to download based on what voice and what gender you’re going to be picking.

#Dragon Age Origins #Dragon Age 2 #Dragon Age Inquisition #Dragon Age #Modding #Video Games #Mod List #My stuff #Me: *gets mods for every romance and ending* also Me: *romances Alistair as future queen Cousland for the 100th time*

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sweetmage · 2 years ago

Text

⚠️ TW Blood and self-injury (in a blood magic context) ⚠️

🎵 Anthony Green - You'll Be Fine

Lately I've been working on a horror/angst AU where Tamlen survives but is stuck as a ghoul for 7 years while his former friend/love interest (Savil, who deserted the wardens with an injured Tamlen after the attack) drives himself to insanity trying to cure him. Eventually, in a fit of desperation, he turns to Merrill (post-DA2) and her blood magic. But Tamlen ☆~Comes Back Wrong~☆

This initially was not for public consumption which is why it's so messy and wonky but eh, why not?

Also, he DOES make a bit of a recovery eventually and is very loved and supported by his clan b/c I hate tragic endings even in angst/horror AUs🥲

I didn't explain this AU super well because the caption is getting long but feel free to ask if you want to! Unlike ghouls I don't bite 😊

#dragon age origins #dao #tamlen #merrill #merrill sabrae #dalish origin #jun art #blood tw #horror tw #angst tw

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lostinfantasies38 · 5 years ago

Text

Promise Me - A DA:O fanfic

Tamlen/Mahariel angsty/romance one shot

TW: major character death, mention of suicidal tendencies, no actual suicide or attempts

Creators, her entire body hurt. It was worse than the pain that caused her to black out when she’d been Blighted by the damn mirror. Duncan and Alistair were both hovering over her prone form on the stone and she idly wondered how long she’d been out. It was hard for her to look at the grizzled older Warden – it brought back too many painful memories. She was grateful that Alistair was the one who helped her stand.

Duncan asked how she was feeling and then informed her that her presence was requested at a meeting with the King. Alistair gave her a shy smile and a pendant of blood on a leather cord to remember her Joining. The sentiment was sweet and honorable, but right now as every fiber of her body, down to her teeth, pulsated with residual pain she just couldn’t find it in herself to care much about memorializing this experience.

Dragging her lead feet to the King’s council, Lira took her place as Duncan’s apprentice, graciously thanking King Cailan as he praised her joining the Grey Warden’s ranks. She inclined her head when the King demanded that she and Alistair be the ones to light the beacon to signal for Loghain to flank the enemy on the field. He may have been a shem, but he was the literally the King of the Shems and she was not stupid enough to argue and risk losing her head when she’d already survived so much to get here.

Of course, nothing went as planned during the battle in the ruins. It seemed that nothing could go right, if she was involved. The tower they were supposed to climb was overrun with darkspawn that had clawed their way in from underground. Lira shivered – it was too similar to the circumstances that brought her to the Wardens, so she distanced herself from it and fought the darkspawn like a woman possessed.

“It…it saw me! Help! I can’t look away!”

Lira screamed with equal parts anguish and rage as she sliced the hurlock’s head from his neck and then ducking into stealth she ran up behind a spellcaster and slammed both of her daggers through his lungs. She used her foot to kick his body off her wicked Dalish daggers, not even sparing a look at her fellow Warden and the Circle mage, who stared at her in wide-eyed horror. Twirling her daggers, Lira led the way up the tower and massacred everything that stood in her way. By the time they reached the ogre, she was pissed and ready to dance.

Dropping into stealth, she let Alistair tackle it head on and she prayed that she would be able to take the beast down. She remembered all the lessons he taught her – step lightly, strike and then roll, attack the next weak spot before they even know you have changed positions, don’t get bogged down with a frontal assault, stealth, stealth, stealth.

Lira sliced its ankles and watched with satisfaction as the blood poured and the massive creature slipped; it seemed that one of her cuts severed a tendon. She darted around the ogre on the ground, digging her blades into all the weak points – kidneys, lungs, abdomen. It roared angrily and struggled to stand, but the right ankle was useless, preventing it from standing to fight. Alistair dodged the arms that it flung wildly for protection while the mage hit it with fire and lightening. Finding an opening, her fellow Warden charged in between the giant swinging arms and took a running leap to bury his longsword into the ogre’s neck with a snarl. The darkspawn fell backwards and tried to rip the man off him, but Alistair twisted the blade in the neck and severed the artery. When he yanked his sword from the ogre’s throat, arterial spray bathed a swath of the stone floor with black blood. The ogre’s arms fell to the floor and it never moved again.

Alistair jumped off the darkspawn and turned to Lira. “Maker’s breath, woman! No wonder Duncan recruited you.”

She twirled her daggers dangerously and shrugged, “You watched me fight earlier in the Wilds.”

He laughed a little nervously, eyeing the way she handled her blades. “Uh, yeah, but you didn’t fight like a cornered wyvern. That…was a surprise,” he jerked his head down the stairs to indicate her rampage through the tower, while he wiped the brackish blood off his sword before sheathing it. “Come on, we should light the beacon. I’m sure we missed the signal.”

Wiping her own blades of the gore that covered them, Lira watched the mage light the tower beacon and decided to see if the ogre had anything worthwhile on him. She was bent over with her back to the stairs and she didn’t hear the sound of the darkspawn in her head until it was too late. Arrows rained around them and she saw the mage fall with the fletching of an arrow where an eye used to be. She felt one strike her in the chest and another lodge in her shoulder. The force of the arrows threw her against the blood drenched floor and she heard Alistair fall with a cry beside her before everything went dark.

Things seemed to happen very quickly after that fateful day. Ostagar was an unmitigated disaster thanks to Loghain’s betrayal. The King was dead, the Wardens were painted as traitors, which at times made the task of gathering allies daunting. Alistair, thankfully, had been given possession of the treaties by Duncan, so after the Witch of the Wilds saved them and foisted Morrigan upon them, they set about traveling the country using the documents and collecting other companions along the way. Alistair had been decidedly unhappy about Zevran’s presence and the two of them tried to outdo each other in an attempt to woo her. Leliana only shook her head sadly at both men’s feeble attempts to catch her eye. Neither of them seemed to have realized that her heart was already someone else’s.

They saved Redcliffe at Bann Teagan’s request and then rushed to the Circle to bring back aid for the Arl’s son, only to discover that the tower was on the verge of being annulled. So, Lira twirled her daggers and fought through a second horror filled tower in order to recruit the mages for the Blight and to save Connor. Once back in Redcliffe, the boy was saved by Morrigan in the Fade and then it was off to Haven in the Frostback Mountains to search for a fable. The elf rolled her eyes at the ridiculousness of human religion, but they desperately needed Arl Eamon’s support, so it was worth investigating. She almost wished they hadn’t.

Two words: The Gauntlet.

“Tamlen? Is it really you, lethallin?” Tears filled her large eyes and Tamlen smiled in the tender way he reserved for her when they were alone, as her hand reached out and cupped his cheek. He was warm and Lira could almost believe that he still lived as she touched him.

“I am Tamlen and yet, I am not. I am part of the Gauntlet – part of you.”

Lira choked back a sob, now both her hands were somehow holding his face, anchoring herself to him. “You will always be part of me,” she whispered. She wasn’t even aware of her companions as they watched their usually suicidal leader cradle a dead man’s face.

Tamlen stared at her with a crestfallen expression. “Lethallan, I am so sorry. I should have listened to you and gone back to camp. You were always smarter than me.” Lira gave a weak chuckle, startling her companions who never heard her laugh.

“You were always so mischievous. I had to keep an eye on you.” The elven man brushed a stray hair from her ponytail and tucked it tenderly behind her ear, his fingers lingering on the nape of her neck and the tears she had held in check, poured down her face.

“If I had listened to you, we would be bonded by now.” Zevran hissed quietly in the background while Alistair expelled all the air in his lungs, as though someone punched him. Leliana gazed at both men with pity.

Lira was sobbing openly now, her hands slipping from his face and clutching his leather cuirass. “Lethallin, lethallin, I’m sorry I couldn’t find you. I searched for you! The whole clan searched for you. Forgive me, vhenan.”

“I must go and you cannot follow. The living can’t mourn the dead forever, lethallan.” He tilted her head up and kissed her sweetly through her tears. “Goodbye, Lira,” he whispered before his form dematerialized. Her legs gave out underneath her and she collapsed onto the cold stone floor with a gut-wrenching cry.

Leliana fell beside the distraught elven woman and pulled her into a fierce embrace as she sobbed for the man she could never have. The only one she’d ever wanted. The one she grew up believing she would share her life with.

Once she cried all her tears, their crazed leader returned, her daggers twirling viciously and now Alistair understood what drove her suicidal tendencies on the field. Her heart was shattered – she didn’t care if she fell.

Lira was surprised to discover that the Urn of Sacred Ashes actually existed and after they pocketed the small pinch they needed to heal the arl, she prayed that if something as unlikely as a prophetess’s ashes were real that Tamlen might still be alive. It was the only thing that kept her going.

After curing the arl, they next traveled to Orzammar and gained the aid of King Bhelen, after numerous favors and destroying the Anvil of the Void. She neglected to tell the Assembly that she was responsible for killing two of their Paragons in one day. Oghren joined the team and even Lira questioned the sensibility of allowing his recruitment, but he was a Beserker and they could use that against the darkspawn.

The time finally came when she was forced to face her demons and locate a Dalish clan for aid. Walking into the camp, even though it was not her clan, brought a rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. Her eyes darted continuously around the camp and the forest because she could see his impish face out of the corner of her eyes everywhere she looked. Her hands shook madly as they fought sylvans, darkspawn, corpses, and werewolves.

By the time they ended the curse that freed the forest spirit and the werewolves and gained the promise of the Dalish that they would join the fight against the darkspawn, Lira was an emotional wreck. She just wanted to return to camp and drop into Uthenara. Maybe when she woke up a thousand years later, Tamlen would be there waiting with a smirk, asking her what took her so long to realize he was only sleeping.

They met up with their other companions at the camp outside the Brecilian Forest – the place that until recently she had called her home. Leliana regaled them with a lovely rendition of a lullaby about the dreamless sleep of the elves before they all retired for the night.

As Lira was about to clamber into her tent, she heard the scritch, scritch of the darkspawn in her brain and flicked her daggers from their sheathes. She twirled, she parried, she stabbed as she danced with death and avoided the shriek’s talons that could easily eviscerate her. Once they all lay scattered around the campfire, a figure shuffled to the back edge of the camp. In the flickering firelight she couldn’t make out facial features, but by the way it moved, Lira knew it was a ghoul. She dashed towards it, but pulled up short as she neared the creature.

“Lethallan,” Tamlen’s hoarse voice whispered past ruined lips. Her blades fell from numb fingers to the ground and a hand shakily covered her mouth in horror. His skin was black and peeling off in chunks, his hair had fallen out, his once velvety voice now snagged like burlap over dull razor blades, and his moss colored eyes were obscured by blown pupils. She fell to her knees in grief and he slowly lowered himself to the ground, as well.

“Oh, Tamlen…forgive me, please, lethallin. I’m sorry we couldn’t find you and save you.”

“Too late, lethallan. I took…most of the impact. Poisoned beyond hope…immediately. I dragged you...out of the cave…hoping someone would find you. I’m glad I did something...right that day.”

Lira cried and took one of his hands. He was still wearing his armor, including his gauntlets and they protected her from touching his putrid flesh, but she couldn’t resist sitting so close to him and not touching him in some way.

“You...must end this…end me.” She shook her head frantically.

“I can’t kill you, Tamlen. I love you! Don’t ask this of me.”

Tamlen smiled sadly, the skin of his face tearing when he did, causing Lira to recoil slightly. “If you love me…let me go. Please, let it be your blade…not theirs.” She glanced behind her and for the first time noticed that her companions were crowded behind her.

“Tamlen,” she whispered and closed her eyes.

“Always...loved you, lethallan. Since we were…children. Wanted to…be with you. Only you.”

Lira sobbed harder and nodded. “I know, vhenan. Since I was eleven and you were twelve and you –“

“Knocked you out of…the tree,” he finished. Lira nodded. “It was...accident. My foot slipped…you fell…couldn’t grab your arm…in time. Broke your ankle…I felt terrible.”

She laughed softly and squeezed his hand. “You came to visit me every day that summer while I healed and we were inseparable after that.”

Tamlen shivered and yanked his hand to claw at his head. “No, no, no! Lethallan, please…do not want to hurt you. Song is so loud…end me. Please, Lira.” Her name sounded almost normal or maybe she only wanted it to, so that’s how her ears interpreted it. Either way, she closed her hand around the handle of one of her daggers and scooted closer to him. He lifted his head and bared his neck for her. She raised her blade and barely kissed his skin with the edge.

“Vhenan, ar lath ma,” he whispered softly enough that only she heard him. Fresh tears filled her eyes and her hand shook infinitesimally, but she steeled her resolve in the face of her love’s plea.

“Ar lath ma, Tamlen. May the Dread Wolf never find you in the Beyond.” He smiled and closed his eyes as the sharp edge sliced cleanly across his neck and freed him from the song. With a shrill scream Lira hurled the blade away from her and pulled his ruined body into her lap, crying and rocking him, unphased by the black blood that was seeping into her armor and the ground around them.

“Say, weren’t you supposed to be helping Master Ilen today? How did you end up coming with me?”

“I wanted to be with you, of course.” Lira smiled shyly and cast her eyes to the ground in embarrassment at having answered so directly.

Tamlen smiled softly and lowered his voice, “I thought that might be the case. I’m glad.” As they turned and started walking through the dark hallway again, his fingers brushed against her hand, ever so slightly and Lira’s heart soared.

A little further up the hallway a small patch of wildflowers grew where the tiles were broken or missing on the path. Tamlen bent down and picked a cheery yellow bloom and with a subtle tint to his cheeks, presented it to her. Lira took it with a bright smile and tucked it behind her ear. He turned to keep moving, but she snatched his wrist and tugged gently on his arm. He swung around and wrapped his arms around her, his eyes asking permission even as his lips hovered millimeters above hers, and she closed the gap.

It was only their second kiss, but it burned through her soul. His lips were soft and gentle. He was savoring this moment as much as she was – they didn’t want to rush it because when they returned to camp, they would have to go back to keeping a modest distance between them. They clung to each other in the dark ruins and she no longer cared about the giant spiders or undead that roamed freely. In that moment all she cared about was Tamlen. He slipped his tongue haltingly into her mouth and she readily accepted it with a breathless moan. It was his turn to moan when she moved her tongue along his and the hand on her waist tightened.

A strange noise startled them into separating. She drank in his green eyes, hooded with desire, his slightly swollen lips, and his rapid breathing. “Lethallan…Lira,” he cleared his throat. Lira nodded in understanding and stepping back she took her daggers from their sheathes and held them at the ready.

“Lead on, Tamlen. I’m right behind you.”

Lifting her forehead from Tamlen’s chest, she implored her companions. “We can’t leave him like this. He must be buried. Please, help me.” None of them even considered denying her request and asked what she needed of them. Even Morrigan seemed pained by Lira’s loss and offered to help her prepare Tamlen for burial.

Alistair and Zevran found a clearing, ringed with trees, a little further behind the camp, just on the edge of the Brecilian Forest. They grabbed the shovels they used for digging latrines and instead, they dug a hole six feet down for Tamlen. When it was done, they scrambled out of the pit to tell Lira it was ready.

They returned to camp to find that Tamlen had been cut out of his armor and washed before being wrapped in Lira’s own blanket. The smell of darkspawn was masked under the linseed oil and juniper berry mixture smeared onto his skin and Alistair suppressed a shiver at the thought of Lira rubbing it onto his half-rotted body.

Without a word, Alistair gently picked up the sad elf’s corpse and led them all to the place he and Zev had chosen. Lira cried silently as she took in the picturesque resting place, watching as the men who loved her from afar carefully lowered the only man she could ever love into the hole. There was a pang of regret that she wasn’t able to reciprocate either of the men’s affections, but she couldn’t help that her heart had been spoken for since she was a little girl.

Morrigan passed her an acorn that she had quickened with magic, so it would sprout despite the tainted flesh under it. Lira took it, unable to speak, and with halting steps she laid the seed over the blanket that cocooned her love before stepping back and sinking to the ground.

Oghren joined the two men in filling the grave and halfway through their task, a small, clear voice rang in the quiet and it slowly dawned on everyone that Lira was singing. No one even knew she sang, much less that her voice would be so angelic for such a violent person. She continued to sing the dirge for Tamlen, since the clan was not there to do it for him, and as the last scoop of dirt filled the depression in the ground, she finally let her voice trail off into silence once more.

One by one they left her to her grief with mumbled apologies and gentle pats on her shoulder. She wanted to grow roots on the spot and guard his resting place, but Lira knew she still had a job to do. If she did not take care of the Blight, how many other people – elven and human – were at risk of Tamlen’s fate? He would not thank her for neglecting her duty and she did not want to shame his memory. On wooden legs, she returned to camp and demanded they pack up. She needed to be away from this…ruination.

Now, that all their allies had been gathered, it was time to see the arl. So, they marched to Redcliffe and then joined Arl Eamon’s retinue to Denerim for the Landsmeet, where she was forced to jump through more political hoops to win the trust of the human lords. But it was finally done and she respected Alistair’s wishes and did not make him King. Anora would be a great Queen, even though her father had been insane, and Lira wanted it done so they could focus on defeating the Blight.

They returned to Redcliffe to regroup and strategize, only to discover that the darkspawn were tired of waiting and had sacked the village. Heads rolled, guts spilled, blood saturated the ground where Lira walked – taking her grief and using it against the very creatures that robbed her of Tamlen, of her vitality, and the life they were meant to have. Once the village was free of darkspawn, she spun her daggers and marched up the hill to the castle.

Riordan informed them back in Redcliffe Castle that whichever Grey Warden struck the final blow against the Archdemon was killed in the process. Lira closed her eyes and smiled slightly. This was her way out. The senior Warden thought her declaration that she would kill it was noble, but Alistair knew better. He turned his head away from her – slightly disgusted that she was so intent on sacrificing herself.

Morrigan offered her another way. If she would convince Alistair to bed her, her ritual would spare their lives when they killed the dragon, but Lira only shook her head sadly as she turned down the witch’s offer. Morrigan had been angry, even as she understood the reason the elf denied her, and swore that she was leaving so she wouldn’t have to watch her friend die.

Lira hugged herself in the oppressive silence of her bedchamber and stumbled to her bed to cry. Alistair’s hand paused mid-air to knock on her door and he turned away at the sound of her ragged sobs pulling another man’s name from her lips, and returned to his own room to brood.

The march to Denerim, where the Archdemon was currently sowing destruction, took longer than the two days they planned with all the darkspawn and corrupted animals they were forced to fight along the road. Now that the horde was on the move above ground, black ichor seeped into the greenery around them, tainting the very soil and poisoning the wildlife and the people who came in contact with it. By the time they reached the capital, it was barely standing.

Her suicidal tendencies were not on display today, but her attacks were vicious as Lira mowed down the darkspawn that dared stand in her way of reaching the Archdemon. Riordan fell before he could finish the beast, falling from its wing to his death miles below, but his attack did ground it to the top of Fort Drakon. With one ruined wing the Archdemon could not fly and that meant Lira had a chance to end this – to end it all.

They finally burst through the doors at the top of the fort and watched in horror as the massive dragon crushed men beneath its giant clawed feet or raked them over the edge of the tower with its tail. Lira spotted the ballistae along the tower and told Alistair and Zevran to each grab one and the three of them would pelt the monstrosity with huge bolts to rapidly cut down it’s health. The men nodded and fought their way through small bands of darkspawn to reach the machines. Lira dropped into stealth to evade the warband ahead of her and turned her ballista to face the Archdemon.

Every now and then they would have to fight off stray darkspawn that rushed them, but Lira kept the majority occupied by calling in her allies. The dwarven contingent was hacking the darkspawn on the main level, while the elves scaled the turrets and rained arrows from above. The mages were weakest so the Redcliffe soldiers acted as barriers between them and their enemy, to allow them to throw well-timed fireballs or healing spells, when needed.

Hours passed and more of their allies fell to sword and claw, the ballistae would jam or they’d be forced to defend their positions, but eventually the Archdemon collapsed – hanging onto the final threads of life. Alistair had already abandoned his machine and was standing close at hand. He did not speak; it would have been fruitless to even try. Instead, he yanked a greatsword from the hands of a deceased soldier and passed it to her, wordlessly. Lira gave him a small smile. It broke his heart all over again and, not for the first time, he wished he could have known her before the taint destroyed every bright thing about her.

Straightening her back and gripping the heavy weapon, Lira hoisted it behind her with the last of her strength, and ran towards the weakened dragon. Her feet slipped in the blood and ichor that covered the stones, but she never stopped racing to her goal. When she neared the creature, it reared its head for a final challenge, but she used the blood coating her boots to her advantage and dropped into a skid with the point of the sword held aloft. The blade sliced along the length of its neck, pouring rivers of black, putrid blood across the tower and when the head finally fell to the ground, Lira popped out of her roll and slammed the weapon through its brain.

White, blinding light enveloped her and fire raged in her blood, but she held on with gritted teeth and closed her eyes tightly to block out the pain.

“We both have our vallaslin, now.” Tamlen’s hand reached out and gently caressed the healed tattoo of halla horns that graced her forehead. Lira nodded breathlessly. It was the first time he had done more than simply hold her hand, and even those incidents were rare, since the clan kept close watch on their children.

Tamlen swallowed nervously. “Now that we are considered adults, there will be new responsibilities. I’ve been made a full hunter and you will soon replace Master Ilen as our craftmaster. It’s time to start thinking about…bonding and starting a family.”

Lira’s lips parted slightly and her ears burned. She prayed this was going where she hoped it was – she’d only waited most of her life for him to ask her.

“Is that something that you want, lethallan?” Tamlen’s brow was permanently furrowed, but she had always been able to read the differences in his scowls. This was one was nervous, afraid of rejection, unsure if he had overstepped his bounds with his best friend.

“With the right person, of course.” He smiled slightly, a quick tilt of his lips, before it was gone and the anxiety returned, doubt clouding his usually bright eyes.

“What about me? Am I the right person for you, Lira?” She leaned into his hand that was still hovering near her face and stared at him warmly.

“I’ve never even considered someone else, Tamlen,” Lira whispered. He grinned broadly, the curve of the vallaslin at the corners of his mouth making it look even bigger. It was the most beautiful smile she’d ever seen and she swore to make him smile that way every day.

He cupped his hand around her neck and slowly wrapped his other arm around her waist to pull her closer to him. Lira held her breath in anticipation, staring up at him with her wide eyes, as Tamlen inched his way towards her mouth. She tilted her head higher in invitation and his lips finally found hers. It was tender and full of promise – of a life filled with love and laughter. Promise of a life that no matter where they roamed, he would be her home.

“I’m coming, vhenan. Wait for me,” Lira pleaded right before the explosion that shook the entire city and sent her flying into blissful oblivion.

The world was saved and a young Dalish elf hailed a hero. Alistair overruled everyone’s objections to have the Hero of Ferelden buried according to her traditions. “Build a monument to her, but don’t rob her of her customs in death simply because you want a morbid tomb as a memorial!” His words shamed the Landsmeet and they allowed him to take her body. He left in the middle of the night so he would not be followed and returned to the Brecilian Forest.

Things had changed in the last few months, but he was able to find the clearing and set to work digging a second grave beside the first. He worked out his grief and his anger in the process until he realized it how deep it was; he wasn’t sure how he was going to get back out. Tossing the shovel topside, Alistair managed to grasp the edge of the grave with a leap and using his considerable upper body strength and pushing with his legs against the sides, he was able to climb out of the depression.

He rolled on his back with his arm slung over his eyes while he caught his breath. The wind whispered through the trees and the rustling leaves rattled out a familiar tune. He could almost hear her ghostly voice singing the dirge for Tamlen. A knot formed in his gut that no one would be able to sing it for her.

Moving over to the litter behind his horse, Alistair gingerly unstrapped the wrapped body of his fallen companion and used the same straps to gently lower her into the grave. Well, as best as he could since he was alone and the damn hole was deeper than he meant for it to be. He sighed in resignation as he was forced to drop her the last few feet or risk falling into the pit again. Wincing, at the unseemliness of it, he moved to the pile of dirt and slowly began shoveling it back in again. The entire day had passed by the time his task was finished.

Alistair downed most of his canteen of water, but poured the final dredges over his head to cool off. Heaving a sigh, he dried off with a clean saddle blanket and changed into a dry tunic. He needed to eat, but he wasn’t going to eat here. This was sacred ground now.

He quickly repacked his saddle bags and tied the litter to his horse with some rope from his pack, since he sacrificed the straps. He planned to chop it up as kindling when he made camp somewhere. Pulling something from his pocket, Alistair walked sadly to the freshly dug grave. Using one of his own dirks he kept in his boot, he shoved the blade into the mound and draped a pendant on a leather cord around the hilt. The light caught the crimson liquid inside and it glowed ethereally in the quiet wood.

“Goodbye, Lira. I am so sorry for everything. I hope you and Tamlen have found peace together.” He stood and mounted his horse, steering it out of the clearing and towards Amaranthine, leaving the lovers to their well-deserved rest.

#promise me #original fanfiction #dragon age fanfiction #dragon age origins #tamlen x mahariel #heavy angst #romance #character death #ultimate sacrifice #my writing #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer

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