#giving credit just is not enough if it's going to be continuously used imo

[rollercoasterwords]

rae give us your thoughts on taylor swift more specifically her rich white feminist thing she’s got going on and her influence on the current ‘girlboss’ trend and the current perception of women in media today???? asking bc i love reading your opinions on this stuff 💕

it sounds like u have some opinions of ur own lol but sure i can talk abt taylor swift! will be putting it under a cut bc i love my swiftie mutuals tho...swiftie mutuals look away im going to be mean sorry....

i mean yeah overall u kinda summed it up lol. i don't think i'd really care much about taylor swift were it not for the way she's been branded as some sort of groundbreaking feminist and subsequently played into that perception to profit ("the man" makes my eyes roll out of my skull sorry...)

i think my dislike of her was first seeded when "you need to calm down" came out--before then i just hadn't really cared abt taylor swift, knew a few songs but wasn't crazy about them, etc. but then she dropped "you need to calm down" and suddenly she was getting TONS of praise for doing SO much for the queer community and i was like. well first of all the song is bad second of all she's literally comparing her online haters to violent homophobes as though those two things are in any way equal or similar experiences third of all she's getting praised for profiting off positioning herself as a #ally. like this song and music video are not some sort of feminist praxis they are a way to funnel money into her already bulging pockets.

but because literally everyone around me (many swiftie friends) was gushing over how amazing she was for hiring all those dykes + faggots to dance behind her i felt like i was being gaslit + the fact that taylor swift was just happily accepting the money + accolades at the same time made me dislike her

when folklore came out i actually did enjoy the album which was. the first time that's happened for me lol i usually like maybe one or two of her songs and think the rest are mediocre at best but i was like huh maybe she's like changing as an artist and sort of settling into a new groove that's kinda cool. and then i didn't like evermore as much but i was still like okay cool new sound new vibe. and then she dropped midnights and i tried really hard to like it for my swiftie friends but...honestly i was shocked by how bad it was lol. just felt like a new level of low in terms of bad lyrics and the music was incredibly bland and boring to me, nothing new or interesting going on there. and then i felt gaslit again by all the swifties raving abt the lyricism of lines like "draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man" like!!! babe that is a tumblr post from 2014...

but aside from finding it genuinely incomprehensible that she gets so much credit for being an amazing writer or lyricist when the bulk of her discography is simply incredibly mediocre or straight-up bad imo (bc honestly that alone wouldn't be enough to make me dislike her; ik these are all subjective measures so even if i find it annoying to hear people rant + rave about music i think is bad it's not gonna make me dislike the artist or the people raving necessarily) what bothers me more and solidifed my dislike of her is the continuation of the way she acted when "you need to calm down" dropped. which is to say, it's infuriating enough that her fandom has sainted her, but what's more infuriating to me is the she seems inclined to play into that sainthood.

she often leans in to portraying herself as either a victim of misogyny or a #girlboss feminist. and like--this isn't to say taylor swift hasn't experienced misogyny, or that she shouldn't talk about those experiences, or that rich white women are exempt from sexism. but her feminist consciousness seems to begin and end with her own personal experiences of sexism, with no effort at a deeper political engagement made. she flies her private jet around and poisons the environment and when people try to call her out for it she sits back and lets her fans accuse anyone that criticizes her of being sexist. in fact, it seems that any criticism of her is met with accusations of sexism, which is an infuriating obfuscation.

at the end of the day, her politics such that i have seen are incredibly liberal and toothless, and her feminism seems largely focused on making herself more money ("the man" being about "getting ahead" faster, the whole thing with that one guy owning her masters centering around a dispute over property + who gets to make money, etc). she is a capitalist first and foremost, and because of that her feminisn kind of sucks, so i hate seeing people treat her as a Feminist Figure. i also think the gaylor thing is sooooo stupid and annoying and reinforces the concept of identity first and foremost as a discrete ontological category rather than something socially constructed + materially rooted. like the idea that taylor has some mystical gay Essence inside her that exists regardless of how straight her music + lifestyle is, the makes her Queer--sorry but give me a fucking break lol. i don't give a shit if she kisses other girls, taylor swift is not a Queer Icon, and i don't understand why people desperately scrabble to find proof that she is when there are already plenty of openly gay pop singers!

in conclusion taylor swift is the epitome of #girlboss liberal feminism to me and her supposedly genius music being aggressively mediocre is just the icing on the cake lol

[declawedwildcat]

2. Best music?

Bonus: Are there any songs that you like well enough musically but think ruin the moment when they play in game?

Off the top of my head I can't recall any moments that were completely ruined by the soundtrack, not for songs that I liked by themselves certainly. I do find that the openings and endings grow on me more after the fact; most of them don't really stick with me when they actually happen in-game, maybe just because they play over credits and not the actual scenes that I can associate them with, but listening to OSTs on their own and playing Rhythm Carnival I get a better appreciation of them.

However the song for Madarame's bad end is fucking hilarious and that is definitely not the effect they were going for. Deeply fucked-up narrative about relapse and selfish sabotage followed up by the very cool and metaphorical chorus Damaging Slowly from hit video game Slow Damage

From worst to best:

5. Togainu no Chi — Like most of my thoughts on tnc, there's nothing especially wrong with its OST, it just felt mostly forgettable and I can't remember any moments where the music really heightened the emotion of a scene in a noticeable way. It has a few different tones, mostly a metal/techno type sound or gentle piano, and its vocal tracks are primarily loud with heavy drums and guitar. It does a good job of setting the tone, I also can't think of anywhere that the music undercut what was going on, but it's not one I see myself ever turning on to listen to on its own.

4. sweet pool — I'm sure there's some category where I don't have to call sweet pool weird, but the music is not it. It's like... ambient synthesizer, metallic percussion, occasional piano or violin, it continues the experimental vibe of everything they were doing with this game. Some tracks individually feel like they have multiple tones within them, which can leave the mood of scenes disjointed and incongruent to me. It also doesn't have all that many instrumental tracks, and while it's not a long game comparatively, it's definitely long enough to get repetitive with the lack of variety. It ranks above tnc on account of the track "forever", which was the only song that struck me in-game and really nailed home the scenes it was used for. It's quite a haunting little piece and I found myself waiting for it each time I started a new ending.

3. DRAMAtical Murder — Heresy, I know. DMMd's music is such an inherent part of its identity and it's practically impossible to mistake it for any of the others in a lineup. However, I'd argue that even with as unified and identifiable as it is, it doesn't really lend itself to the narrative as much as it could. I can recognize the random background tracks sure, and they can give an intense nostalgia trip to anyone who hasn't heard them in a long time, but I don't know that I'd be able to pick out any of them as "oh yeah this played during THAT scene." There was no powerful moment that felt underscored by a change in music or unique track, everything that's there works fine for what they used it for but there's nothing so memorable that I could turn on the OST by itself and get emotional over a scene that it represents. They didn't even bother to name them, the tracks are all just numbered. It's strong, it's interesting, and it's every bit as futurepop as the rest of the game, but imo there's not enough distinction between individual tracks (and routes) to make it as powerful as it could have been.

2. Lamento — I essentially put Lamento this high for the opposite reason as DMMd. In my opinion its soundtrack is not as strong; it had a lot of good things going on with its floaty fantasy and rhythmic, for lack of a better word "tribal", sound, but it also tended to lack awareness of where those would be utilized in-game to the point of irritation sometimes (my main complaint being the usual battle themes. One of them has a core loop that's roughly ~0:06 long and the song itself is 2:26. The scenes it plays for, I would estimate, range from 5 to 15 minutes. I found myself mashing through some of the fight sequences because I just needed to make that infernal sound stop.) However what it does have are some really great scenes where the music absolutely heightens the experience in a noticeable way. When you first enter the library and then those vocals kick in? Gorgeous moment that would have been nothing if they used the same default tracks that played leading up to it.

1. Slow Damage — There's no doubt in my mind that surodame should get the top place. It's jazzy, it's funky, and when it hits it hits hard. It does have a lot of filler tracks that are on the forgettable side, but those are still pleasant and don't have the same tonal issues some of the older ones have, so they make for a good variety to fill the decently lengthy play time. Maybe it's just that they've blended together so much in my mind, but I really like how they were able to keep things unified to get many different moods without changing the overall sound profile for most tracks. When it does change tone, it is deliberate and provocative: there is one moment in particular that straight-up gave me chills when I finally got to it, and it was almost entirely due to a particular part of the song that plays for the first time there. There are nitpicks I would have about the soundtrack here and there overall, but the story would not have the power that it did, especially in the true route, with any other music.

{"Make me stack-rank my toxic yaoi" asks}

[monstermoviedean]

hi quuen(gn) i know its been like years and its nowhere near the anniversary but i was feeling nostalgic today and was scrolling back through the j2 fallout tag and i saw u post about how u had been theorizing about it before it came to light and i just wanted to say if you ever would like to make an in depth post with all ur thoughts it would personally make my whole entire year. anyways obvi no pressure and i love all ur posting!

anon i'm sorry i took so long to respond!!! i am beyond flattered that this would make your whole entire year so i'm going to try to do it justice but please know that i appreciate you so much 🥹 this was really fun and a much-needed distraction from real life so thank you!!!

okay so the thing i must emphasize is: i don't know shit. i have no evidence. i do not have any insider connection to the fallout. i am wholly pulling stuff out of my ass. but the weird thing is...pulling stuff out of my ass has not always been totally incorrect?? (yes i know how that sounds yes i'm keeping it)

possibly helpful context: i was active on spnblr while seasons 8-10 were airing, drifted away after s10, then returned after 15x18. so i came into it with the 2012 picture of j2 in my mind: best friends 4eva, basically brothers, etc etc. at that point i also didn't know about jared's documented public bad behavior (not a strong enough term but you get what i mean). so when i got a better handle on the 2020 spn landscape it was like oh this is weird.

first off, i did not originate the j2 fallout theory. I don't know who to credit but they're a genius. and anything i say here is likely not an original thought and draws on others' ideas. frankly for a long time i believed in the fallout in the way i believe in the loch ness monster: i think it's fun, it gives me a laugh, and it's ultimately not hurting anyone, so why not? for a brief period in 2020-2021 tumblr had a groups (?) feature that was like a group chat. someone made a j2 fallout theory group (sorry, I don't remember who!), i joined, a couple dozen of us chatted and shared some lighthearted theories. it wasn't that serious iirc, we were just having fun. passing around posts and tagging them with j2 fallout, taking innocuous events and joking that they were rock-solid evidence of a fallout.

the thing is though...the j2 interactions during the period of november 2020 through june 2021 were limited. like, conspicuously so. it was too quiet. and jensen was especially, notably quiet about anything. this is the period where the "sexy silence" came from (my opinion is that the sexy silence continues to this day, but that's just me).

i can't cite sources off the top of my head for this but i'm trying to only use examples that i'm confident happened - but please take it with a grain (or lots) of salt. but here are the important events imo:

mid- to late-2019: that convention where jensen said the finale "didn't sit right" with him and he called kripke about it. kripke helped him come around to it, but he still sounded unsure (imo). i think he said something to the effect of seeing the value in that ending and understanding why it was happening that way, but definitely not the same exuberance others (ie jared) showed for it.

summer/fall 2019: the press run where jensen wore the "if they did but know" gucci jacket and looked visibly checked out during those interviews, which is kind of incredible given what we know about his ability to control his face. i have gifs.

september 2020: finale filmed. jensen immediately turns around, sets up chaos machine, and acquires the rights to spn. within a few weeks iirc.

november 2020: the interview (entertainment weekly?) where jensen was super excited about the confession and talked about coming up with the handprint on the day of ("that'll make somebody scream in their apartment"). the instagram comment on the picture of the handprint jacket thanking the crew for their work. liking two tweets about 15x18 (misha's for sure, and i think berens'?) and nothing. NOTHING. about the finale. no goodbye. no post. not even liking others' posts. just. Nothing. sexy silence era begins.

december 2020: the stacey abrams call. nothing said about the finale. we all start going "oh shit something is very, very weird here." Someone wins the jensen q&a but it either never happens or we never hear about it.

january 2021: little fuzzy on these but i think this is when he got that award and thanked a bunch of people but not jared. he was wearing a bi flannel and in the mountains. and i think this is where "moving to get away from jared" speculation started because he clearly wasn't in texas. i think this was the interview where he made his hair stand on end like a mad scientist and laughed half heartedly when jared said something about working together again.

spring 2021: not much eventful - a couple cons, not much discussion about anything regarding the end of the series. which is still so weird! somewhere in here was jensen getting new roles which were conspicuously Not walker. and he still didn't like anything on twitter. at all. for months his most recent likes were the two 15x18 tweets.

june 2021: everything blows the fuck up!!!!!!!! prior to that we had absolutely no solid evidence that the fallout was real and then all of a sudden it was live on twitter!!!

here is what i think. i think the relationship had been drifting for a while (the s15 gag reel bit where jensen is clearly irritated that jared isn't paying attention comes to mind). and when the finale was pitched and jared was fine with it - or even actively supportive - that was the beginning of the end. known deangirl here but if i had played and loved a character for 15 years and that ending was pitched to me (as a good ending no less!) i would be upset. And i would be more upset if i was the only one who was upset.

my baseless speculation is that jensen was not good with the ending (for extremely obvious reasons) and wanted a different ending, but nobody else supported a different ending. and i do believe that it's possible the ending could have been changed if both jared and jensen pushed back. i got the sense that they rarely pushed back on the writers, but if they made a concerted joint effort they could effect change. and that didn't happen.

jensen had a lot of feelings about this (not making fun of him, i really do sympathize). and jared didn't. and that felt alienating, and then the whole last season happened and covid happened and the confession happened and jared is saying the finale is his favorite episode while jensen is saying he had to fight tooth and nail for dean to die on his feet. can you imagine spending months filming your final season, knowing what it's leading up to, watching jared phone it in because it won't affect him? knowing he didn't have your back at a time when you really needed it?

again. i don't know shit. maybe jared borrowed jensen's impala and crashed it. maybe he pissed in that absurdly expensive pizza oven. maybe he insulted family business beer. who knows. i just think that jensen put up with a lot for a long time, and the finale was the last straw. and he would have been polite and cordial to the very end if jared hadn't had a toddler meltdown live on twitter. (there might also be something interesting in "oh so it's fine if dean dies in canon but if sam isn't in the winchesters it's the end of the world?!")

i hope this was satisfactory anon :) lots of love to you!!!

[degazzdraws]

Hello, Hope you are doing great. I really like your Guardian [of the Forest] pixel art you did back in 2017. Would you consider selling the image rights itself to me as the exclusive Owner? Of course you would always get the credit for creating it, but would be great if I can actually have the ownership Rights to it with your permission?

Thank you for the compliment but absolutely no way lol.

That's one of my favorite pieces I've made to date (of an original character design of mine). I have no plans on selling full ownership or rights to any of my work. The only exception being if I'm being commissioned to create something specific to be used elsewhere. If you'd like to commission a similar piece from me I'd be open to discussing ideas.

[windamp]

okay my actual thoughts about mha you're next beyond mr mater quirk:

mha you're next spoilers

I enjoyed it! It was pretty predictable, but fun. I was surprised how neatly it fit into continuity but hori is good at that. Dark Might was such a loser, the #1 most toxic all might stan, even beating Stain lmfao. Where is the rumble between S&S bs quirk and his???

i loved deborah (? i think that was her name) she's such a bitch. wonderful vibes. probably my favorite family member. loved how her dreams worked (though momo was like...girl u do that anyway...unless that tea is like extinct??? idk fuck all about tea)

the other class members had less of a chance to shine than in two heroes which was kinda sad but for the best bc my main crit of the movie is the latter half where the pacing seems to slow intolerably for a little bit.

i think it's just cause the fight was stuck in a bit of a loop of dark might hits deku guilo does smth deku does smth dark might hits deku etc then replace with todo & baku. wouldve appreciated a bit of trimming tbh.

also yoichiiiiii as soon as i saw deb's quirk i knew 100% his ass would be showing up whooooohoooooo!!!! thats him!!!1

also oof ochako going to guilo and giving him that pic of anna and being like we'll save her :) and then i think of what is currently happening in the anime and what will happen in the manga :( oof.

the dark might magical girl transformation was fun. also when mirio appeared everyone hooted!! thats the boy!!

guilo was great, an a+ character. i liked his banter w/ deku. his arm gun made me think he was like nagant at first but then the support stuff came in. liked the use of his eye vs illusions. truly i would just get arm guns if i were quirkless but i supposed that takes mafia money rip

anna was kinda blah, which i hate to say, but she was brainwashed for 90% of the runtime. i wish we couldve seen more of the real her. the dream sequence helped but yknow.

more on dark might: it was funny that he was mafia too, weaboo ass mfer. i wish someone couldve called him cringe to his face. monologued more than afo somehow. the brief flashback to him killing his dad was cool but then he just came back as that shitty monster guy which was hmm. i wouldve maybe put that at the end ig? and not right before it. felt weird idk

fun facts my mom went to see cause i had an extra ticket and she was like oh i liked deku & the goku blonde (katsuki) but then she said her third favorite was the lady who got big (mt lady) which is funny simply bc mt lady is one of my faves so im glad her brief showing impressed my mom hahaha

she also hated endeavor on sight which was funny as well. she said it so bashfully too like 'oh i didnt like endeavor sorry' and im just like mom its okay he has a whole haterdom youre good. lol

she also liked the mouth villain at the beg. which was good taste cause that design fucked unlike the guy who had a quirk that made him into a cars character. lightening mcqueen ass im glad deku smashed u.

the after credits scene was like okay.jpeg. i guess it orientates u to the timeline. but the credit song is good so thats worth staying enough for imo.

all in all probably my least favorite movie but it was still fun and i had a good time!

[marley-manson]

#ngl i haven't watched this ep in forever so don't have the clearest memory of it all#but i do think hawk in the final scene could be interpreted as him just... not feeling like he's done enough#even if he DID succeed in his goal and that's important it will never be enough while the war keeps going#which isn't necessarily framing what he did as wrong/pointless - more that he continues to feel helpless despite that one success#(kind of fitting the symbolism in dreams where he's missing his arms - the feeling of uselessness in the face of it all)#therefore more of an indictment on the war than hawkeye's actions in the episode (which i agree are sexy and correct)#idk i guess that's how i interpreted it back when i watched it#but as i said it's been a while so might be forgetting crucial context#maybe i'm giving it more credit for its messaging than it warrants lmao#reblog via @thelatecaptainpierce

Taking the opportunity to dive further into the details because I like talking about this lol, so ty for the opportunity!

I think that would be a really legit, in character and thematically relevant way for the show to frame the ending if they wanted a sad angsty ending despite Hawkeye doing the right thing, but imo that's not really what it achieved unfortunately, even outside of one of the writers stating that Hawkeye's action was fundamentally pointless in an interview about the ep (sorry, I don't have the link handy though.)

My reasoning largely resting on BJ telling Hawkeye he'll hate himself for "cutting into a healthy body" and Hawkeye's line as he enters the Swamp, "It was pink and perfect and I threw it in the trash." This to me is a very pointed way of showing that Hawkeye does feel not just weary and useless, but guilty for "mutilating" the dude.

It's also the way it ends on BJ announcing they got more wounded in without any kind of like, reprise of the fact that he saved a hundred kids. This framing basically hands BJ the win in their little scrub room debate lol. If everything else had happened the exact same but it had ended on, say, a clip of that one kid who wanted to kill Lacey learning that he's no longer their commander and breathing a sigh of relief, the thematic statement would've been a lot better imo. A bittersweet reminder that you can't save everyone, but you can save some people.

Instead the implicit statement the narrative leaves us with is that the lives of those kids don't matter because other soldiers are still dying, and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I don't think that was a deliberate statement, it's more an accidental side effect of writing Hawk and BJ's argument the way they did, with a focus on guilt and morality, and then framing BJ as the winner, but it's unfortunate imo.

i’ve never actually sat down and laid out why hawkeye was 100% right in preventative medicine apparently, i just went thru my season 7 tag and i just take it as read that we all agree he’s obviously right. so now i wanna do that.

So, despite how the ending is framed, Hawkeye isn’t trying to end the war by taking one colonel out of commission. What he’s specifically trying to prevent is this particular colonel defying orders and making a reckless, pointless attempt to capture a hill that would undoubtedly, as Lacey readily admits, get many men unnecessarily killed. As Hawkeye says, “You heard him. He’s gonna take those kids up that hill tomorrow and send them back to us in pieces.”

In taking out his appendix, he also causes Lacey to be taken off the front lines, and prevents even more reckless decisions down the road, at least for a while, which is effectively a bonus. He succeeded in his aim of preventing the deaths of many soldiers.

BJ thinks this is pointless because Hawkeye didn’t end all suffering in the world, apparently lol. “You treated a symptom. The disease goes merrily on.” BJ’s line of thinking assumes that all soldiers are interchangeable and saving one life doesn’t matter if another dies somewhere else.

All the specifics of their argument in the scrub-up room don’t really matter next to the main point there, but it’s also worth noting that BJ’s other objections are, “Cutting into a healthy body is mutilation,” “Some things are wrong and they’re always wrong,” and the guy who’ll replace the colonel might be worse. These are all bullshit objections. Hawkeye’s response to the mutilation accusation is kind of beside the point (plenty of doctors do unnecessary surgeries on people for money) when the real argument is “so what? better a mutilated colonel than a hundred dead soldiers” but he’s still technically right about that too lol, cutting into a healthy body isn’t always “mutilation.”

Hawkeye’s response to BJ saying it’s always wrong is “There are gonna be a hundred boys still alive tomorrow. Go tell them how wrong it is,” which is the perfect response to that kind of moral absolutism, no notes. And his response to the replacement colonel point is “So I’ll take them one at a time,” which is also the correct response. You can’t predict the future - if the next guy’s worse, Hawkeye will deal with the next situation that comes up in front of him in the best way he can. All you can do is focus on what practical steps you can take to mitigate harm here and now, and that’s what Hawkeye does. Plus considering Lacey is the battalion commander with the highest casualty rate of all, the odds are pretty good that the next guy won’t be worse.

The fact that the narrative backs BJ up by ending on Hawkeye’s guilt and BJ’s statement that the war continues (plus I’ve seen the writer directly state that Hawkeye’s action was pointless, somehow) is baffling to me lol, even ignoring the (forgotten by the writers) fact that Hawkeye and Trapper did the same thing to Flagg in season 2 and had a great time. Hawkeye accomplished his stated goal and saved a bunch of lives, and based on Hawkeye’s sound argument, the episode seems to understand that, until the end.

[aizenat]

Well, final take on this album is its overall good. It feels a bit repetitive at times with the overall sounds and melodies. More toned down like her Folklore/Evermore era, but some of the songs could sound indistinguishable from each other if you’re just going on sound and vibes alone. Thus my earlier one trick pony comment.

That said, it’s the lyrics that really make this album, and tortured poet is accurate in that regard. I always have and always will give Taylor credit for her storytelling, which I feel is what sets her apart from most modern pop acts. She’s definitely constantly conflicted with both the fame and pressure, and that conflict comes out a lot. It’s not a love album or a breakup album but one that seems to reflect a lot of the reactions to her over the past year, both highs and lows, daring us to either be open to her truth or continue perpetuating stupid narratives to vilify her when she’s just a girl trying to live.

The latter is a bit harder to swallow from someone who became a billionaire last year in thanks to her record breaking tour, sometimes coming across as out of touch. But we all think if we were to “make it,” it wouldn’t change us right? It’s very infesting. The last song made me laugh when she said, “You look like Taylor Swift” after referencing Clara Bow and Stevie Nicks in the same way earlier in the song. Are we to interpret that as her putting herself on the same iconic and legendary level as them? If so, is it deserved? And more so, how haughty of her to do so herself, right? But again, she did have a legendary 2023…maybe it is deserved?

Or is she a moment that will be forgotten. Gen Z has to google who Clara Bow is, and many have probably never heard a Stevie Nicks song.

So maybe it’s the perfect analogy? Big one minute and forgotten the next?

It’s complicated. The world’s relationship with Taylor Swift is complicated. And this album doesn’t shy away from that complication.

Overall, good album. Much better than midnights, though it doesn’t quite hit the storytelling I yearn from her like we got in Folklore and Evermore. Not her best but far from her worst. Unrefined the way Taylor just always is, but artistic enough to at least give a chance. Not sure which singles she’ll really push, as that may determine how the general public feels about this album. But worth a listen at least once imo.

[oddygaul]

Oneechanbara Origin

Look, I knew what this game was going in. I wasn’t expecting a fuckin masterpiece. I just wanted a fun, trashy game with big anime titties and a satisfying combat system. And still I was let down.

Credit where it’s due, the animation is actually quite good for all three characters - you can for sure tell that’s where all the effort went here. There’s a lot of really sick keyframing on all the combos, and the incredibly generous hitstop will nearly freezeframe you if you hit enough enemies, which is deeply satisfying if you trigger it on one of the cooler combo poses. Saki’s easily my favorite for this reason; all of her huge arcing launch attacks feel great to land after the huge windup.

Shame, then, that every character basically has three entire combos. Three. I know it’s unreasonable to expect full DMC levels of moveset variety, but this is bottom-of-the-barrel, Dynasty Warriors-ass, one square combo, one triangle combo, and one square into triangle combo stuff. Rough, man. The game tries to add a few systems on top of this to add depth to the gameplay, but they’re so incidental they don’t feel like they add any player expression.

The Cool Combinations are supposed to be this game’s signature system, I think; if you time the next hit in a combo just right, your character flashes a bit with Glowing Anime Power and the move will come out faster and charge your energy up a bit. It’s kind of reminiscent of the Exceed system on Nero’s Red Queen, except… way less impactful and not as cool lol. Your game has to be really damn good for me to even consider engaging with any system that requires me to memorize the timing of every single one of a character’s attacks - hell, DMC5 fucking rules and I still haven't taken the time to practice getting consistent exceeds - and if the system is even more finicky than usual due to the timing constantly changing due to the massive hitstun when fighting groups… I’m good, man.

The two tiered berserk system is kinda fun; aesthetically, I’m here for the big dumb Kill la Kill-lookin Baneful Blood forms. But between the fact that it triggers automatically and not on-command, and the fact that it’ll often run out almost immediately because it triggered right before you need to sprint down a sewer pipe for 30 seconds (a common occurrence in this game), it feels pretty half baked.

I will say, I was surprised and impressed by how good some of the boss fights are, though. The game’s enemies are largely either hapless potatoes or frustrating little bastards with poorly-telegraphed attack windups, and the larger zombie bosses follow those trends. But man, basically every fight against a sword-wielder turns into a mini-Sekiro fight. Suddenly you remember there’s a parry and a perfect dodge, and you really have to nail them and get the attack patterns down pat to make it through. While it doesn’t have anything like the posture bar, nailing the perfect dodge / parry builds your special meter real quick, so if you’re nailing every evade, the play pattern of most bosses essentially becomes a 100% uptime of your character either doing a flip or an iaido slash, which is fun as hell.

Oh, and my other big criticism of this game is that all the outfits are paid DLC. IMO if you’re making a game with this much Big PS2 Energy, it’s just way more thematically appropriate to have a bunch of stupid costumes to unlock in-game, to give the players a carrot to chase. Miss me with that paid shit.

Eh, I know this is how it goes with B games, I shouldn’t be expecting the world. I feel like lately I’m just used to finding gems in that space, so it’s a bummer to play something that’s about what you'd expect it to be. The search continues! Capcom give new Sengoku Basara pls 🥺

[silvermoon424]

http://moonsisters.org/moonsisters/mysterymoon/GrowUpAlreadyPeople.htm

i'm baffled and miffed by the enormous amount of pearl clutching here, to say nothing of the REACHING and CONJECTURE. (Big ooof on their webdesign skills....)

*appending my earlier message: I find it very bizarre that whoever runs this site has clearly never watched any Di$ney animated movie. More generally, it's baffling how much things were censored in the 90's and early 2000's, as if children were being raised by screens and not parents. Because all her points imo are not something a child would have trouble with if they were parented attentively -sit down and discuss what they're watching, etc.. Japanese kids at the original time of airing grew up just fine watching this stuff; it only seems that western media think children are bloody stupid. (Don't even get me started on the pokemon hysteria at the turn of the millennium, or power rangers """violence"" in the 90's... it was as stupid & hysterical then as it is now.)

DUDE MOONSISTERS LMAOOOOO

I used to go on that site sometimes when I was a burgeoning Sailor Moon fan in 2008-2009, eventually I found way better shit.

Also I only skimmed this page because I'm not fucking reading all of that but hoooooooly shit. Sailor Moon is not an adult series aimed at men, wtf?? It is and always has been a shoujo series aimed at girls. Of course that doesn't mean that people of all ages and genders can't enjoy it (in fact, I would say that Sailor Moon has a very broad appeal), but it's very solidly in the shoujo demographic.

Any anime/manga fan worth their salt knows that Japan has much more lax (and honestly, better a lot of the time) standards for children's media than a lot of Western media. Especially American media. Japanese children are trusted to be able to handle more mature and complex themes; this means that shoujo and shounen series often have appeal for adults as well.

Westerners (and again, especially Americans) don't give kids enough credit. Just because they're not as smart as adults doesn't mean they're idiots. My oldest niece is only 2 and I'm continually amazed at how bright and curious she is.

Also, off topic, but I started watching the show "Old Enough!" on Netflix, which is a Japanese show about small children going on their first errands for their parents. Stuff like going down to the corner store alone to buy a few groceries; that shit would not fly in the US, lmao (although I know Japan is a much safer country). But I bring it up because it shows that, generally, a lot of Japanese parents view their children as more capable than a lot of Western parents do.

It's definitely a cultural difference, and I'm not saying it's a good or bad thing. But I do wish that in general Westerners treated children with more respect, because kids really are smarter than we give them credit for.

[unrestedjade]

Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

[leportraitducadavre]

You should really understand the culture and politics that are the context in the real world, because imo you do tend to look at it through the orientalist idea of people as mindless followers of the state instead of individualism, which is also why I feel your critiques tend to blame individual characters instead of entire structures like the Daimyo and shinobi system as pawns of them

Is this because of Tobirama? I'm talking specifically of him because he's the one credited with the idea and the one who apparently wrote the basis of Konoha's current bureaucratically system -the one the rest of the villages used as a prototype, as well-, and the rules the shinobi have to follow. He's the one I constantly mention because he's the one who is canonically named as the system's creator.

I understand your criticism, and it's an interesting point to have into consideration, but in the last ask I specifically said that there was no questioning about the system Tobirama created -which is putting the blame on those who came after him.

Konoha is a semi-independent state inside the Fire Country, it follows its own rules -yet has no power enough to go against those of the Fire Nation. Those inside Konoha are subjected to the regulations established by Tobirama, I'm not making it up.

And... I truly don't understand this ask that much, because I specifically highlight those who stand against the system and get shunned away/killed, I do talk about the individuals that oppose the bureaucratic system as I do talk about the system in place (created and perpetrated by individuals) and how it shapes the minds of the characters I discuss.

Perhaps you can point me out which posts are you referring to?

Edit: Apologies for editing this reply again, but now that I have a break in work, I’m more able to give this ask a proper response:

Your question contradicts itself because you affirm that I assume the characters are mindless followers of the system in place while at the same time I have no consideration of that influence in the characters I mention. Individuals are not mere receptors, that’s absolutely true and it’s one of the reasons why I write posts like this one, where I discuss the relevance of Sasuke or Obito in the plot of Naruto’s manga, or this one where I claim that Kakashi is aware of the problems of the system and yet consciously chooses to support it.

Individuals are influenced by their environment. That's also true, I constantly talk about the influence of the system in characters such as Itachi, Kakashi, or Naruto, yet being aware of that influence doesn’t immediately translate into not holding them accountable for their actions. I can understand where that mindset originated, but since the three characters previously mentioned canonically showed discomfort with the structure in place and yet continued to endorse it, why shouldn’t I call them out on it? And about Tobirama, he’s a man in a position of power: he’s bound to be held accountable for everything he does, just for that fact alone. Was he raised during war? Yes. Was he taught to see the Uchiha clan as his enemy? Also yes. However, after the founding of Konoha, he did nothing against that learned animosity as to try to tame it down, and as a person that later on becomes the village’s leader -as well as the creator of their bureaucratic system, not pointing out his responsibility in the matter of the discrimination the Uchiha suffered at his hands and at the hands of those who he choose to succeed him, makes absolutely no sense. Tobirama's system didn't go against what he was taught or raised on, he gave his knowledge a structure to solidify on, children were still taught to fight and were still sent to war: he didn't dispute the structure he was raised on (the actual reason Hashirama created Konoha for), he just systematized it.

“which is also why I feel your critiques tend to blame individual characters instead of entire structures like the Daimyo and shinobi system as pawns of them”

I do blame the system in place, a system that -like I said-, was created by Tobirama, so he’s to be held responsible. You claim that I put the responsibility on individuals instead of society, but society is created by individuals, you can’t dismiss their accountability in the matter and blame everything on culture for this exact reason, otherwise, absolutely no one (and I mean no one), can be held accountable for their actions -including the Daimyo.

[samueldays]

Going by the big obvious trends, I will note that 1) Trump was the first President in 30 years not to bomb any new countries, and he tried to bring troops home but the Derp State committed treason in order to keep fighting the infinite war, 2) Russia attacked Ukraine during the Obama presidency and again during the Biden presidency, but not during the Trump presidency between them.

So on that evidence I think a Trump term would be very good for peace and prosperity, in the US and around the world. The man is a dealmaker - a dysphemism for this is "unprincipled", but the principles in the US governing class are too often those of Holden Bloodfeast, Respectable Bipartisan.

Whereas a Harris Civil Rights Department will likely continue to enforce racial quota hiring through inverting the burden of proof. This is, IMO, one of the most underappreciated destructive forces in American life: thanks to current Civil Rights jurisprudence, hiring for competence is de facto illegal anywhere with more than 15 employees. Also it shits over about five different items of the Bill of Rights simultaneously. And it's driving up university costs. Lots of terrible effects. Civil Rights Act delenda est.

Stepping into speculation, I think OP is giving both options too much normalcy credit. "Nothing ever happens" is right 95% of the time, but the last 5% hits hard.

A Harris Administration's biggest impact, I speculate, won't be bills or the failure to pass thereof, it'll be a spectrum of extralegal behavior. At the figleaf-of-normality end, it'll be lawfare and selective prosecution of dissidents like Douglas Mackey. Inviting faux-rebel commies to sue the government and having the government's lawyer throw the suit to award the prosecution everything the prosecution wants.

At the stormtrooper end, it might be encouragement and approval for "Firey But Mostly Peaceful Protests" that murder a few hundred people and get called peaceful because look at the millions of people that weren't murdered, repeatedly. This is an ill-targeted blunt instrument, Harris can't threaten specific individuals with it, but it's no less destructive. Do as the boss says, or your city might be set on fire.

Trump, I imagine, might hit an escalation ramp of "how many people do I gotta fire for insubordination?"

There was a funny headline during his first term:

Trump Threatens to Seize Control of Justice Department

and I say "funny" because Donald Trump, as President, was head of the Executive Branch, and the Justice Department in the US is part of the Executive Branch. The President being in control of the Justice Department should be the default state of affairs!

The American Derp State apparently wants to be a self-running permanent government, not answer to these merely elected *sniff* politicians.

Trump also tried to order troops home during his first term, and the Derp State lied about troop counts and troop presence and defied his orders to avoid carrying out troop withdrawals. It was a little surprising how military officers would brag about it during Biden's term, framing themselves as "defending democracy" in Kurdistan by denying civilian control of the military at home. That's treason. Trump should hang people dead for it. Literally, noose-around-neck, corpse-dangling-from-gallows dead.

Now, since he probably didn't do anything about it in his first term, it's unlikely he'll become a radical in his second. Still, I think a more loyal core team and the assassination attempt that got close enough to bleed might spur him to be at least a bit more forceful this time around. And then he might find he can't just fire one insubordinate subordinate, because ten more are banding together, so he fires them too, and he starts on a path of escalation that pits the Elected President against the Derp State.

What If They Win

Too much has been written about the horse race of this election, but not nearly enough analysis about how either administration will govern. There's some fearmongering about Project 2025 or courtpacking, but that's propaganda not actual predictions.

(FWIW, I think Trump has this race in the bag, but can understand people who still hope think this is a coin flip.)

If Harris Wins...

Harris has held together a remarkable coalition of people against Trump. Mainstream Democratic politicians, YIMBY pundit technocrats, far lefters holding their nose, and Republican neoconservatives. This is no criticism, it's pretty impressive how they are coming together to defeat a common enemy, and I really really would like them to win.

But what happens to a coalition defined by a common enemy, after they win? Let's assume the best case scenario and she gets a Democratic Senate who confirms her cabinet and some SCOTUS judges.

Who supports Harris in the press, or is vote-corraling for her in Congress? Not those Republicans who hope to turn a page on the Trump era. Not a far left who has decided to hate her as a centrist sell out. Not moderate dems who will run away from any hint of weakness. Maybe a few of those YIMBY pundits who hope she's actually committed to more houses and nuclear power. But that's no political hyperpower.

What would her first major bill be? Who would support it? It will be just one scandal plagued administration with little support from any quarter that makes its ground breaking "first" for subaltern identities a disappointing token. The David Dinkens of the White House.

I predict that President Harris would have the lowest approval rating in her first year of any President we have polling for. It's gonna be brutal, and an easy 2028 win for Republicans (who hopefully won't be running 82 year old Trump.)

If Trump Wins...

This is the interesting one. I've heard a lot of people say that a second Trump term will be even worse than the first because he's fully unleased now and no one can stop him from doing what he really wants. And I think this is partly true.

I just don't think what he wants is "Republican authoritarian rule." Sure, he will probably let the Fed Society still pick the judges (which he never cared about besides thinking they should be loyal to him) and there will almost certainly be a tax cut/extension. But besides that?

In the first Trump term, he had VP Pence, Jeff Sessions as AG, governors like Chris Christie, and three establishment figures at State, Defense, and Treasury making a pact that if Trump fires one they all resign. It was an actual coalition of Republicans and Trumpists who need each other. Even Jared Kushner was pretty establishment friendly (he's the one who approved Pence.)

Jared and Ivanka are gone now, replaced by Eric and Donjr. The VP is a Thiel-acolyte who isn't anti-Republican but sure is "from the blogs." And the endorsers Trump touts are RFK Jr, Tulsi Gabbard, Elon Musk (while more and more mod Republicans endorse Harris.)

This isn't a Trump face over a body of Republicans - this is a Trump leader over all the fringe outsiders of American weirdo culture. I think Trump *actually does* want to appoint RFK to Secretary of Health, and indulge in every conspiracy, organic hippie, crunchy nonsense - which actually has a lot of believers across the country, but extremely little following in DC itself.

I think this will be hilarious beyond our wildest dreams of entertainment. It will not be a functional fascism - it will be closer to Jill Stein and Richard Branson and Andrew Tate. He'll try to pass laws that every kid in America needs to eat healthy and also work in a McDonalds.

[jprgirl]

The Almighty Johnsons - S2E2 Deleted Scene

In this scene, Ty is leaving Anders's flat after having found Dawn there, passed out on the couch with 3 open wine bottles. (This was all Agentha's idea - she told Dawn to test them out, and then talked to Anders, who called Ty and told him to check on Dawn.) Agnetha is in his van by surprise and he calls her out for setting this whole thing up. She encourages him to leave Eva and pursue Dawn because Dawn actually loves him.

Why I'm sad this scene was cut:

IMO, it better illustrates that Agentha genuinely wants Ty to be happy than some of the other scenes in this season meant to convey this. I remember the first time I watched S2 wondering if she was just trying to break Ty and Eva up because of other reasons and not worry over Ty. I don't love the way she talks about "claiming" Dawn in one part of this scene. I do think that it's nice to want your kid to be with someone who loves him, but I think Ty is right that Agentha is more using Dawn as a means to an end than actually being concerned about what's best for Dawn, so I really liked him calling her out on it. It really shows how he cares for her. I also really liked Ty calling his mom out on leaving! The boys don't get enough acknowledgement/apology from their parents about how shitty they were as parents. It's often like it is in this scene, where it's sort of brought up, and not really defended but also no real repenting happens either. Just sort of "that is what happened". BUT, I also loved her labeling Ty and Eva's relationship as abusive, and praising Ty for how he tried to help her when Joe was abusive. I actually think this might be the most genuine display of motherly love/care Agnetha shows (maybe that's why they cut it? She was too sympathetic?). Her saying that she believes that Ty will find the strength to end things was kind, and I hope that she believed it when she said that she and the boys would be behind Ty when he did. ALSO, the next scene we see Ty in, in the actual episode, he's still sitting in his van and he happens to see Dawn take out the recycling. That scene, without this before it, makes it seem like Ty just sat outside the flat for a bit like a stalker (not out of the question) but with this context, it seems more like he just happened to still be there because of the Agnetha convo.

Why I think it's okay this scene was cut: I wonder if they thought this scene might undermine the impact of the flashbacks to the abuse that we get in the next episode? Much of the information is conveyed in that scene as well.

Another issue I have with the scene is that it may give viewers the impression that Hel/Hod is just like any other god and goddess pairing, but since these two are god-spouses, I think the pull between them is a lot stronger than Agnetha is giving credit for. I think her character just doesn't know this, but we later see evidence of the gods overruling their vessels' desires in how Anders is with both Iduns and even Hanna with Mike vs Axl (more on this one in a later post I'm sure, but in one scene Hanna says that the goddess always wins, which is why she must go name Axl as Odin even though she wants to be with Mike). The pull between gods and goddesses is always strong, but it seems overwhelmingly so in god-spouses, to the point of destruction. So in a way, though Agnetha is trying to encourage Ty to leave Eva for his own sake, I think Hod's desire to be with Hel is stronger than she realizes. When he says "I have to do this" I think that's what he means, and not that he's referring to the contract from the end of S1. Also there just seems to be some continuity issues with this scene. It's very clearly sunny when he's in the flat with Dawn, and then it's dark and raining already by the time he gets outside? Also where are the bins? Dawn is shown interacting with them outside the door but they're not in these shots. Not that this matters at all, just an observation, lmao.

-

What did you think of this deleted scene??

[romanogers-lyrics]

TFAWS Ep 5: finally some good fucking ✨vindication✨

Scratch that rewind what I said- this is the best episode (maybe in comic book tv history). Closure, growth, and redemption 🙌 just when I was worried they wouldn’t be able to tie things up they fucking give me this 😩🤩👏✊🏽

Holy hell my poor heart died and ascended to the moon to hang out with Steve and Natasha. ✨Goddamn the mastery of storytelling in this episode is why I love the MCU so much ✨

The opening fight between Walker, Bucky, and Sam had me on the edge of my seat. Like in most fights you know the stakes are low because the main heroes always win but this fight... whew it was consequential and more personal than the civil war fight imo. I genuinely was worried about the outcome for Sam and Bucky physically and emotionally. Every beat was character driven! This was cathartic. 🙌 the stunt coordinators knocked it out of the park lovelovelove 💕.

“I am captain America” homie you giving me Gollum vibes. “It’s (the shield) MINE!” Like-

So many creative stunts with the wings!!!

Bucky and Sam working TOGETHER

BUCKY DROPPING THE SHIELD AT SAM’S FEET 😭

The golden light seeping into the frame at the end of the fight 🤌🏼

Sam wiping the blood off the shield. 🥲 I can’t even articulate but it makes me feel-

Sammy’s wings got snapped off and he eventually left them with Torres (passing the mantle?) which symbolizes Sam growing out of his old super hero role. It was cleansing. He’s ready to be more. He’s ready to take action rather than let things happen to him 👏

Baby boy Torres trying to talk to Mr Bucky 🥺. You have both sleeves today Mr Bucky sir 💕

I want no I NEED 😫Torres to fly in with the wings next episode.

How we feeling about Walker?? On the one hand I feel him. Us gov did him dirty but at the same time he made the choices he made. Maybe there is room for redemption? Idk... 🙃 or will he continue to get worse?

I am SO glad that Sam went back to talk to isaiah. He needed to know the full story. He needed closure. I could ramble on and on but the writers made the points so much better than I could but just-

Steve did the exact same thing as Isaiah in the first avenger. He went behind enemy lines to rescue Bucky- without permission! He was a hero for it. And Isaiah was thrown in jail? The double standard is so frustrating

I think Isiah’s point that “no self respecting black man” would use the shield makes sense with his background and story. It makes me sick what was done to him. Things really haven’t changed 😞. At this point I honestly wasn’t sure what Sam was going to do. More later on about this-

Zemo’s theme is so beautiful every time I hear it. 🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼🤌🏼

What a beautiful scene. Cinematography 💯 Such a great moment between Bucky and Zemo. Zemo fully expects to die and then Bucky does the one thing zemo didn’t expect- the one thing he wasn’t “programmed” to do. Fuuuuuckcjfkekxn

“I crossed my name off in your book” 😭. He obviously grew to respect Bucky and wants him to have peace at last with all the civil war stuff.

Ayo back to calling Bucky white wolf 🐺 love to see it.

The kids playing with the shield and tracing the star has me CRYING. Kids are our hope and they still see something special in the shield. They still believe in it. 😭 such a small moment completely floored me.

Wholesome boat fix up 🥺. I feel like this is the montage where SamBucky fall in love 😂

When Sarah and Sam are talking about the boat- how it is their history- I think again of Isaiah. His history was erased. Sam has to preserve his history ✊🏽

Sarah is a goddamn queen and I Stan 🤌🏼✨

The montage was just a sip of cool water in the desert of trauma that is the MCU.

OKEEEE the conversation between Sam and Bucky where they’re tossing the shield is great on so many levels 😍:

Physically the shield matches the dynamic of the convo. Someone makes a point and throws it. Someone accepts what that person said and catches the shield. Bucky physically offers the shield when he says “I’m sorry” and Sam accepts the shield AND the apology.

The difference between avenging and amending. I was surprised they even used that word bc it calls out the avengers for maybe not doing the emotional work involved in being a hero. Healing is part of the hero job now. #phase4

A small detail but as a person of color I valued it; when Bucky said I’m sorry Sam did not say “it’s okay” or “no worries” because he didn’t have to, I feel like as a POC I’m always making white people feel better and for once I’d like to be confident enough to just accept someone’s apology outright and know I deserve it.

Pivotal when Sam said “it doesn’t matter what Steve thought” at first I was like biiiihhh??! 😠 but he had a point. Both Sam and Bucky have been trying to do hold onto another person who is gone. They gotta heal but more importantly they have to find their own reasons to keep fighting.

The training montage 🤌🏼🙌🤩🥲🥺😭✊🏽. Like FEED ME YEs WE ARE EATiNG. Sammy deserves it all

Sam’s cap theme music is similar to Steve’s but still different. Goddamn so beautiful 💕💕😩

Sam has been pretty passive in this show- almost wanting confirmation he did the right thing. Isaiah didn’t give Sam that comfort but neither did Bucky at first. Sam had to make his own choice 😤✊🏽

It’s a heavy burden to be cap knowing all the shit that has come before but Sam is the only one who can make that decision to be or not to be. And he’s seen the alternative now. In life taking action and taking control of our situation is empowering but always harder than doing nothing. He says it best- what’s the point of all that struggle if you’re not going keep on fighting ✊🏽🥺 I love and respect Sam so much 😭 spoken like captain America! 👏

Show me the suit you COWARDS I WANNA SEe

Goddamnit damnit to hell... I need to SEE IT

Is Sharon setting a trap for Karli???

🚨 end credit: I’m not sure if they are making an iron man comparison. What do you guys think?

Ready for the showdown throwdown next week 👀

All in all it was fucking wild ya’ll and I felt catharsis watching this and so fucking hopeful. I cry 😭

Please feel free to share any thoughts you have about this episode💕

there’s so much in this show that is world building within mcu but also in greater conversations about heroism and power. It is a moral re evaluation of the superhero. Malcom Spellman being head writer you know this shit is not happenstance it is intentional. The took the long road and it totally paid off in this episode 😭

🙇🏻‍♀️ I am emotionally manipulated by this show 🙇🏻‍♀️

Huge shout out to all the cast and crew for making something both respectful to the lore but also challenging it to be better 🙌

My ep 4 review:

Tag list: @soliloquy-of-nemo

[jadelotusflower]

It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen

Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:

Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).

But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy “Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.  

Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014.  But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.

What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen?  Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?  

The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.

If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).

So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak).  And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.

The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination.  How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...

Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.

I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.

Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.

I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:

1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.

I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.

It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.

And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.

No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:

It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.

Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:

2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?

Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.

Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.

I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?

In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.

And then there's this:

A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.

NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.

I really hope this was unintentional on Hearne's part, because yikes. He was halfway there, this book was full of interesting female characters who had agency - Drusil in particular was a delight with her super math and inability to understand human interaction. Nakari was full of life and fun - capable but relatable, showing a different side of the Rebellion and those that suffered under the Empire's rule. Fridging her in her first appearance is considerably more vile, because it reduces her to a footnote of Luke's story, a plot device to Help Him Grow, rather than a springboard to tell more of her own story.

Because Nakari was a compelling character ripe for spinoff potential. I would absolutely have read or watched her continued adventures, juggling missions for her father's Biolabs company and trying to aid the Rebellion, shooting her slug rifle and cracking wise, maybe even finding a way to amplify her mother's song Vader's Many Prosthetic Parts to really stick it to the Empire, or try and free the political prisoners on Kessel.

The old EU was made great by allies and enemies of Our Heroes showing up again to help or hinder them, and/or branching out into their own material. We fell in love with them, and followed their stories even as they diverged from the main saga, eager to read more about their lives.

Nakari Kelen never got that chance. In many ways, she exemplified what Disney Star Wars was to become: an exercise in wasted potential.

[out-of-this-dimension]

Hypothetically Rewriting Assault’s Story + Some General Assault Opinions

There’s a game my husband and I like to play when we watch a movie, play a game, or read a book that has a story that we don’t really enjoy or we enjoy certain parts of but not others.  We look at things we’d keep and things we’d change and we build a story from there-- sort of like an AU but we don’t really go into the writing part, we just stick to theorizing and mapping a general story.

I decided to play that game with Star Fox.  Not because I think Star Fox has a bad story but because sometimes I think the stories could have been handled better.  Note: for the rewrite game, I only really look at story, even for video games, I don’t really look at gameplay mechanics, but I do understand those have a lot to do with story potential so I do take it in as a factor... I just don’t bother to “rewrite” the mechanics, if that makes any sense at all.  Some of my list today will include boss encounters but I wouldn’t necessarily say those are mechanic-related... more like “event-related”.

I’ve mused a bit in the past about rewriting Adventures and Command and I do have plans to do a mock up of an Adventures remake eventually.  However, today I was thinking about how I would go about handling an Assault re-write in particular.  Much like Command and Adventures, I don’t have any beef with the core story but I do think there’s a few things that could’ve been better about Assault’s storyline-- like they had good ideas rolling but they didn’t quite refine them.

Under the cut because SUPER long.

My basic feelings on Assault are pretty positive.  I think the game is generally just fun and I like that it feels like the natural progression from SF64.  I liked getting to see planets we haven’t seen since the N64 era in better graphics and I liked seeing Star Wolf return.  I also just thought the aparoids were neat enemies. 

Generally speaking, though, when it comes to Assault, I think it suffers from the thing it tries to push the most-- the story.  I think a lot of people get caught up in thinking the story is better than it is because it’s the first game since SF64 that really follows the same Star Fox vibe without retelling the Lylat Wars.  Don’t get me wrong, the overall plot is great but the execution and pacing are... wonky.  Certain characterizations also take a hit in some regards but no one really talks about that when Command exists. That’s something we’ll talk about later on with this post.

That being said, Assault really does have a lot good going for it.  An absolute banger of a soundtrack, some great dialogue, a neat story synopsis, the introduction of cool characters like Panther and Beltino (who existed but was always off-screen), and just good levels.  

So, here’s what I would add, I suppose, if I were to somehow have the ability to rewrite Assault.  Originally I had this in paragraph form, but I’ve made it into more of a list under topic segments with main points bolded for your viewing pleasure.  Some of these points might be considered nitpicky and while I do understand that yes, this is a game about space animals, I do hold the developers in high enough regard to make a game with a continuity that makes sense.

The Story Changes

- Reduce Pigma’s storyline in Assault.  This is the biggest one for me because a bulk of the plotline feels like a giant chase to just get at Pigma and it feels like it derails from the actual plot with the aparoids.  We only go to Sargasso because of Pigma.  We only go to Fichina and then back to Meteo again, because of Pigma.  That’s 3 levels in a 10 level game devoted to just tracking down Pigma and chasing him.  While it makes the build up to fighting Pigma kind of nice, I personally feel like the plot could be reduced to 2 levels.  If Assault overall was a longer game, I could see them making it 3 levels.  Overall, though, in its current state, I feel like the side plot overstays its welcome and the aparoids promptly get shoved to the side in favor of “Oh no, we gotta get to Pigma!” And I get the main motive here is to show how the aparoids affect people and because of the build up, it does a good job at showing how utterly terrifying the aparoids are.  But it’s still too long given the length of Assault’s story. The only alternative to this is make Assault longer, which... honestly, it should be.  

- Revise the scene with Tricky.  I’m obviously not well-versed in dinosaur biology but I’m pretty sure dinos didn’t grow that fast from what studying I HAVE done.  And why is he suddenly king now?  Did his parents die?  He seems not affected by this at all?  Like it’s a funny scene with him, Fox, and Krystal, but it’s odd if you really look at it.  Give us, as players, more context because I’m still not even sure what happened to make Tricky suddenly the leader and... big.  As a note, you’re gonna hear me gripe a lot about the Sauria level in this post.

- The Star Wolf + Peppy sacrifice is a low effort way to raise tension/stakes and then cop out.  Oldest trick in the book, imo, is to act like you’re going to kill off important characters only for them to be alive miraculously.  And let’s face it, as an audience we all know they aren’t going to kill those characters because it’s Nintendo and those characters are too beloved.  I would’ve forgiven them for only doing this with Peppy or Star Wolf, but when you tack them both together and throw in the fact they make it seem like you’re going to have to kill General Pepper too... yeah, it’s just a bit much of the same trope over and over again.  I wanted to put a note in here about how I’m fine with the Great Fox being “sacrificed” but overall, it needed to return to the series because of it’s icon status, but I think that’s more of a gripe at Command instead of Assault.

- Keep Pigma alive.  This will conflict with a point I have later on about the game consistently having characters cheat death for easy drama points but with Pigma, I would’ve kept him fully alive... but maybe with some physical damage from the aparoids.  I understand he’s semi-alive in Command and tbh I don’t know where I stand on that.  Why keep Pigma alive, you might ask?  I feel like his character has a lot more potential than being “just the greedy guy”.  Like he’s got good potential future villain material for future games and... if I’m honest?  I just don’t see Nintendo wanting to keep Pigma dead so why even bother killing him off?  They couldn’t even commit to him being dead in Command anyways so it seems very moot.

- Bring Bill and Katt back.  Assault is acts a bit like a big reunion of all of our SF64 favorites but our two favorite side characters are suspiciously missing.  Wouldn’t Bill be out on the front lines fighting against Andrew in the beginning?  Or maybe back in Katina?  And wouldn’t Katt inevitably show up in the midst of the invasion, maybe to pointedly check in on Falco?

- Bring Andrew back for the final fight. I think Andrew being defeated early into the game is fine overall but I think bringing him back in for a reunion final fight against the aparoids would serve to really solidify that it’s really everyone vs the invading aparoid force.  It would show that not only is Star Wolf willing to put aside their differences but so is basically everyone in the Lylat System in the name of survival.  Imagine the Venomians and Cornerians working together against an aparoid fleet, giving Star Fox and Star Wolf time to attack the queen?  I just think it’d be neat and it’d open up the potential for some fun banter mid-mission.  I do understand that quite a few people consider Andrew canonically dead after Assault but personally, I feel that his defeat left his fate questionable (I’m a staunch believer that unless there’s a body, they’re probably alive, especially for Nintendo games because, again, they never like to kill people off) so him returning in Command never really bothered me.  

- In general, reconsider some of the character portrayals.  Unfortunately, when a series has a different studio for each game, character portrayals will inevitably have inconsistencies.  While I give Namco a lot of credit for putting in oodles and oodles of detail into the game (particularly the levels), I think they failed in their portrayal of Fox, at the least, and Wolf is a considerable offender as well.  While it’s obvious that Fox in Adventures was effectively modeled off of Sabre even in terms of personality, Rareware was at least able to justify Fox’s newfound jaded attitude with the passing of many years and a distinct lack of steady income, resulting in the team being in disarray.  Assault’s Fox is a stark contrast to his cynical interpretation with seemingly no explanation other than maybe “Oh, I have more money and a gf, maybe I should behave myself”.  As if the sudden change in personality wasn’t random, Fox also just seems very blah, like a blank slate stereotypical shooter game protagonist dude with little to no emotion.  Wolf is less obvious but gets slated into a mentor-like role midway through the game and ends up in a respectful rivalry with Fox... which there’s nothing inherently wrong with that except for it happening abruptly (and, I mean, Peppy is right there).  But I take less issue with this and more of an issue with the fact that there’s an entire level establishing that Wolf now runs a crime den with effectively what seems to be an army and no one bats an eye at this.  He doesn’t even call on them to help with the aparoids.  Did they all die when the aparoids attacked Meteo?  Are they safe somewhere else?  Where do they go?  How was Sargasso able to operate without the CDF being on their doorstep with warrants for arrests?

- Don’t kill all the dinosaurs.  A bit of a dramatic statement but the ending screen that showed all the damage to Sauria really bothered me.  While I understand that the dinosaurs had less of a chance against the aparoids than a more technology-focused society like Corneria, I was a bit disappointed that the decision was made to just state that a lot of tribes had been wiped out.  I know this could easily be retconned in a future game and I feel like it should be.  “But why, Amalia?  Why are you disappointed by that?”  1) It’s a little too grimdark for my tastes.  2) The fact it all happened off-screen felt very hand-wavy.  And 3) It brings into question the entire point of Adventures.  Why did we bother to save this planet if it was going to be reduced to rubble and ash 1 year later?  Where were the Krazoa in all of this?  Why did they not make an appearance at all to try to stop the invasion with their alleged powers?  It just raises too many weird questions and I feel like Namco didn’t think it through too much.  Which I mean, sure.  Family, kiddo game.  I’m not asking for bigbrain plot and lore but I’m squinting at this bit because it does feel very contrary to the lore from the previous game.

- Make the aparoids more relevant.  As nice as it is to have a random bad guy from another galaxy, I feel like there was more that could be done with the aparoids in terms of their origins.  Tiny things, mind you, not huge revelations.  Off the top of my head, they could have been tied into Krystal’s backstory to help alleviate some of the complaints that she was too random to be added to the series’ main cast.  Alternatively, they could have been a product of Andross or even a weapon prototype from Corneria that fled the lab (I actually thought the game was leaning in that direction for a bit then just Nothing Happened).  I get that the vagueness of their origins leaves room for people to speculate and speculation is nice but... when you leave too many things unknown, it starts to feel less like giving fans room to interpret and more like just doing random things for the sake of it.  I think a lore tidbit here or there would work wonders for the aparoids instead of leaving them as just borg/zerg clones.

Level-Based Changes

- Add either Aparoid RedEye or Aparoid General Scales as a boss to Sauria.  Given that this level mysteriously lacks a boss, which is just weird compared to the other levels, I think that they had the opportunity to add something cool to go along with the cinematic feel they were going for with Assault.  Assault’s cutscenes do play in a movie-like fashion and it’s clear they’re trying to make the game as epic as possible.  It’s a shame they had so much fodder for a great boss here but they failed to go through with it.  Alternatively: Add a Krazoa-Aparoid fusion.  Why?  Because Star Fox is about cool epic sci-fi and that would be cool epic sci-fi incarnate.

- Add a boss to the Aparoid Homeworld Level, aka the penultimate level.  Another one I felt was personally weird that there was no “final defense system” to challenge the team.  Would be cool to do an aerial battle over the aparoid planet with some giant flying aparoid.

- Be kinder to Sauria.  The level had some good homages but overall was incredibly small and incredibly short.  It felt like a bone tossed to Adventures fans but was not entirely true to the setting built by Rareware.  I’m... not even sure where the Sauria level is supposed to take place?  I presume it’s Walled City but it doesn’t really have the same color scheme or aesthetic?  Also where is my revised Adventures music?  Why do all the other levels get it but Sauria doesn’t? 

- Put some of those funky items from the multiplayer into the main campaign.  I don’t know why some of these things, items especially, were omitted unless it was purely due to time constraints.  I remember having missile launchers and jetpacks in the multiplayer and was a bit sad that they were not in the main campaign.  Retuning the levels and adding those in would be a nice breath of fresh air for the more tedious on-foot missions.

- More levels.  Self-explanatory.  Still sad we didn’t get the Zoness or Titania levels in the single-player mode.  

I think all of the above changes would improve the game, though I recognize all of this is being said 16 years later after lots of time to contemplate Assault’s weaker points.  I’m not entirely certain how long Star Fox Assault took to develop but given that there’s obviously quite a bit scrapped from the game (an entire arcade mode was scrapped as well), I’m going to assume that the studio felt pressured to shove the game out the door and into the hands of customers.  It’s a shame, really, because I think a little bit longer in the oven would have done a lot of good.  Still, the product we got was good in its own right and a game that many people look back on fondly.  I haven’t gotten to replay it in years but I hope to quite soon.

You might wonder why I bothered typing this all out and I guess my point was this-- Assault was great but it wasn’t perfect, and while a lot of other games fall under a crushing amount of scrutiny, Assault seems to dodge it.  And don’t get me wrong-- I adore Assault.  But given that not many takes exist out there about rewriting it, I decided to give it a shot.  For variety’s sake.  

I do want to a mock up of a revised Assault story, which I think I will get to work on after completing this while all my ideas are still fresh in mind.  So stay tuned for that sometime in the near future.  I will also be doing my Adventures mock up at some point but probably not for a little bit as I do wanna focus some of my free time on actual fic-writing.

Anyways, if you stuck around this long, thank you for reading!  Have any changes you’d like to see to Assault if you could time machine your way back to the early 2000s?  Feel free to post in the comments, I’d love to read your ideas!