#gives up on literacy with u thank u

[reagent-leon]

GUYS!!! Stop saying Coyle is singing his ABCs wrong!!

"T, P, D, A, T, F, C, I, A, F, B, I, U, S, P, I, S, D, O, D, S, S, S, U, S, A."

He's not singing his ABCs he's just using the same tune, they're all acronyms

TPD = ?*

ATF = Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives

CIA = Central Intelligence Agency, 

FBI = Federal Bureau of Investigation, 

USPIS = United States Postal Inspection Service,

DOD = United States Department of Defense,  

SSS = Selective Service System, 

USA = United States of America

Okay? So let's all stop saying he's uneducated or illiterate because he's definitely not. Pre-Sinyala Coyle kept "obsessively complete notes" according to Clyde Perry's account, and furthermore just look at his pretty handwriting on the evidence boxes, that's not an uneducated scrawl. Coyle is willfully ignorant, but he's not lacking in basic literacy skills.

"But Leon, why did he misspell Guilty as Giltee on the Scapegoat?"

Well, friend, I don't entirely know. But as he's spelt it correctly in other places, he probably did it on purpose, matching his dialect to emphasise his point. Maybe he just forgot about the U and by the time he'd started carving the L he knew he needed to commit to his fuck up.

*Sooo I have some theories as to what TPD could stand for.

Total Permanent Disability. In one of Coyles' dialogues, he mentions his Father losing his foot in the Battle of Hürtgen Forest. That injury would likely see him permanently disabled and unable to work as he had before (it's implied that Coyles' parents were cattle ranchers), therefore he would be entitled to welfare checks.

Tulsa Police Department. Tulsa and Blackwell are within 2 hours drive of each other and it's very possible that Coyle completed his training at the Tulsa Police Academy before going on to work for the Blackwell Police Department. Tulsa also has history of violent racism, which would appeal to Coyle.

Tactical PSYOPS Detachment/United States Psychological Operations. There was extensive use of psychological operations in World War II, and given everything that the Outlast Trials are about I think this is a worthy contender.

Tobacco Products Directive. This was the only other thing I could think of that would make sense in conjunction with Coyle, but it's a European Union directive, and therefore I think it's unlikely this is what Coyle is referring to, but I still thought it was worth mentioning.

If you have any better ideas please feel free to share them!

A big big thank you to my friends in the Coyle Crew: @misa-bun @soggy-bean and @mortisdeth for their help in researching, theorising and giving me moral support when I thought I was about to lose it

[girls--complex]

So. Yeah. I can do this in the interest of vaguely trying to be helpful. I feel bad about brain vomiting at anon and then not editing myself when this is probably all they really wanted from me.

As you know I'm very much an intellectual who very much has a well researched and developed system of thought that I use and am not, like, just some woo ass freakazoid stoner, with holes in her brain and kind of a shitty education, who doesn't really inherently enjoy reading books. Yes reading books is extremely boring but I love to do it because I am oh so smart.

Soooo I'm limiting myself to FIVE books because five is a nice number. They are not books that require a great deal of literacy or education to read, or else I would not have read them. They are books that give what I feel is a helpful perspective on the Christian tradition. They will be listed in descending order of how much they mean to me personally to underscore the fact that I'm just some guy who is moreover just saying shit.

The Cost of Discipleship (Dietrich Bonhoeffer) Read this book if you want the text of the gospels to glow and pulsate when you read it and it doesn't already do that. Or you want it to do that more. Or you don't want to endlessly strive to be happy or healthy or a decent person anymore you just want to live. You won't like it but you can't argue with the testimony of Bonhoeffer's life. And then if you keep reading it you will like it. Sorry that it's Lutheran but no I'm not.

The Universal Christ (Richard Rohr) Read this book if you don't care about being cool or smart and you just want to be fucking happy for once.

Revelations of Divine Love (Julian of Norwich) Read this book if you want to encounter more than you want to interpret, if you enjoy freaky medieval shit that's actually awesome, if you are in the mood to scream and cry and throw up, or if you are considering a career in nursing.

The Sermons of Meister Eckhart (U know...) Read this book if you don't understand anything or if you feel like you understand anything or if you're a big fan of dharmic religions and want to read the Mandukya Upaishad as recieved by a catholic. Whats cool is they're all pretty short.

The Physics of Angels (Fox & Sheldrake) Read this book if you have some type of a heart for scary woo shit or want to develop a more balanced relationship to woo-ology, or if you want an overview of angels in the Christian tradition that steers clear of thoroughness or academic reliability in favor of wild psychedelic speculation and unchecked boomer optimism.

Thank U for asking me because I love to share. I know it's my blog so I can technically post whatever I want but I also don't want to post things no one cares about because that defeats the purpose of posting. OK bye.

[magic-astro-fae]

Happy new year! Thanks for doing all these chart readings. What can you tell from my natal chart?

Hello and Happy New Year!

6H Aries Sun: the 6H is that of illness, w the Sun placed here there could be issues w chronic physical/ mental illness. This could also include habits/ addictions that exacerbate conditions. Healthy routines are very important for this placement. W Venus here as well u should be especially cautious w over indulgence of food/ sex/ spending too much money

Sun square Moon: there is tension here of the wants vs the needs. The Moon needs to feel emotionally accepted and secure while the Sun wants total independence, free from outside input/ compromise. But in order to fulfill the Moons needs, the Sun needs to give up some of its expectations. This is where the tension occurs

Pisces Mercury: this is a tough placement for Mercury. This planet naturally wants solid logic and concrete facts, but Pisces does not operate on either of those. This can cause for miscommunications, and challenges in finding the correct wording for what ur trying to communicate

8H Jupiter: very spiritual and giving, they want to create a safe space for loved ones, but they may end up giving too much. They should be careful when giving money/ resources, stay clear of major debts/ loans. Don’t get taken advantage of. Financial literacy is important

11H MC: typically we expect the MC to be in the 10H but sometimes we’ll find it in the 9H or 11H. W an 11H MC, we can expect someone who is group oriented, they don’t like to take total leadership positions, authority may make them feel uneasy. They prefer collaboration w groups and community involvement. Great friends, very supportive

[freakenomenon]

IDK if u have mentioned this much but i love your analysis posts and I wanted to say something that’s been on my mind. AM calling both Ted and Ellen by petnames in the game like love or sweetheart to be condescending, with Ellen it’s more obvious because she’s a woman and talking down to her when she’s clearly a strong individual who is reduced to just her gender and stereotypes a lot, or maybe offering mock affection to make her feel worse. Idk it can be interpreted however

But also the way he speaks to Ted and calls him sweetheart, I know that’s been TedAM fuel for a while but that doesn’t even make sense because AM talks to everyone like that, and I always saw it as AM mocking how Ted would speak to women, like he’s trying to emasculate him and mock how he used to flatter women like that idkk anyways. Ty for the influx of ihnmaims lately I love my two little freaks. So tired of them being reduced into closeted gay and token female because fandoms are bad at media literacy 🙏

one. THANK YOUUUUUUUU SOOO MUCH <333333 two. god you are going to regret mentioning this to me of all people i am going to be so annoying. i wish i could say AM calling ellen petnames had more depth than her being. a woman. but truly i cant say that with ANY certainty considering the other writing....choices...within the game. BUT. within my own fucking delusion. id like to think its also because ellen is constantly talking about love ( at least from teds perspective in the short story ) and the fact that its remarked several times in her psychodrama as well as in the others descriptions of her. that she isnt as experienced socially as she is with her work ethic and her studies in general. not only because of her own beliefs, but likely because of societies view on her as a black woman as well. remarking on moments in her childhood where she felt mistreated because of it. "I curl up my lip, the way I practiced in the mirror for days when I was in seventh grade, so I could tell the kids in school to go to hell when they teased me."

"What purpose could you have here other than to steal something?"

" The question stirs up a lot of bitter memories from when I was a little girl. Sometimes, I'd go into a convenience store, and the clerks would think I was a thief just because of the color of my skin. " ( side note, alongside her being pushed aside and metaphorically spat at obviously for being a little black girl. ellen also gives me the vibes of an autistic person who was never told that they had any mental conditions simply because their parents, her grandparents in this case, didn't want them to "use it as a crutch" .. but thats just me )

perhaps even growing anti-social because of this, struggling with human connection and often seeing her own emotions as illogical, getting angry at herself for wanting to cry or for rushing into things. which are just. generally very humane things to do. and implied to render others as illogical for "wasting their minds" . her character background stating "she knew in a deeply superficial intellectual way that "a mind is a terrible thing to waste," i imagine that after her being assaulted, losing her husband , and their child. alongside the trauma within her childhood, LITERALLY watching people she loved die whilst in "the ghetto" ( its still so crazy to me that they never mention this in the GAME. ) , and her incredibly flawed views on emotional status. she detatched herself from personal connection more and more. not only out of a belief that she didn't NEED it , but out of a fear of being incapable. being undesirable unless the other person wants something out of her. after losing so much because of it, rendering herself as incapable of connection. running away from it as much as she did her emotional problems. they're illogical, hysterical, why should she waste her time with them? why should she waste her time with people. but, under AM. completely powerless with nowhere to run away. all she can do is take in everything and let it consume and destroy her. even if it is something that isn't initially meant to hurt her. words of love, of care. being treasured. alongside furthering her paranoia by telling her she should be afraid of the others. being reassured, with the wrong message. being coddled and warmed by words of affection, but still with the wrong intentions, by the wrong person. and she cant run away, she cant fight, she cant redirect her attention. kill em with kindness, i suppose. or torture them. that works too. oh and ted too i guess... this post is too long for me to scream about the ,, weirder TEDAM likers who generally dont gaf about anything that makes them actually interesting and just like the haha gay stuff. i would get too mad

[projectmoonlightproductions]

I saw ur post/ask about epic-legend privilege and common-rare hate and let me tell you the pain is REAL. ESPECIALLY with the ancients specifically getting away with so much bullshit over the years. Some of the kingdom fandom is super dope and some of it is more toxic than Chernobyl

my specific gripe with *that* part of the community around kingdom is just… how much of the nuance of the stories are erased and ignored when you give someone who failed English class an iPad. I don’t like being one of those “I’m smarter than you and ur headcanons are stupid” ppl (from first hand experience they are horrible to deal with good god I’m never logging in to fandom.com again), but the lack of media literacy has produced some dog water takes about the stories of the legends + ancients especially. And I’m emphasizing legends too, cuz OvenBreak community is much less guilty of this in my experience but we gave Sea Fairy’s flaws a pass for YEARS and I’ve only ever seen it called into question when I got back into cookie run late 2023. And the post was from April this year we were tripping for a long time 💀

but yeah anyways! The god cookies have pulled some dodgy shit since launch and I’ve rarely seen it explored within fan works or as part of a character analysis.

Take what you were saying about Pure Vanilla and his involvement of Gingerbrave in the BeastYeast plot line for example. How fucked up is that? Pure vanilla is 1. A grown ass man, 2. Fully recovered from the injuries from whatever story mode shit he was in at this point, and 3. A LITERAL GOD? And guess who he brings to solve his problems. 3 RANDOM ASS KIDS

dude wizard and strawberry didn’t 100% have to go (but let’s be real they’ve been so conditioned to do this quest crap that they���d probably choose to go anyway) but brave? They’re a HEAVILY disordered kid who has endured such fundamental developmental trauma (Almost no one talks about the oven and witch when relating to brave btw and it’s insane but that’s for another day) that it’s morphed into him basing their whole identity on 1. Being brave, and 2. Helping people. Even if pure vanilla didn’t sense anything off with the kid’s debilitating dependency on being brave and Not Being Alone and eagerness to fight and kill and die for people she’s known for barely a minute, you’d think the *adult* man could at LEAST say “hm. This is a dangerous god mission. I shouldn’t bring these kids with me.” There is much more I can say but I think u get the general jist.

PV is not a saint. Him, along with every other ancient, is a cookie with both immense power and important flaws who makes mistakes. While everyone has flaws and everyone makes mistakes, these guys have had more time to grow and power over their lives than almost all other characters in this setting ever will, and the sheer weight of some of these, dare I say, juvenile mistakes have had devastating consequences on families, friends, kingdoms, and even the cookie species as a whole. With great power comes great responsibility, but the ancients have been living life as if no one paid the electric bill, when in reality, they’re running the city’s generators.

YES THANK YOU

Especially the part with Sea Fairy because her obsession with Moonlight literally keeps putting the world at risk

Also if an epic cookie has too simple of a design or a basic story they’re forgotten immediately. Like Lime, Sandwich, Macaron, or Salt.

[theoddshq]

hey, you suggested zion moreno as a "male" option for a district but zion is a trans woman... was that a mistake?

omg DEFINITELY a mistake...and a mistake of my own i fear...she IS giving district one luxury girl...however, pls don't app her as a man!!! the post has been edited to exclude her because apparently my literacy has declined. thank u for pointing out this slip up lol <33

[howelljenkins]

Hi! I'm sorry to bother u but I was wondering if you have any advice regarding resumes? I'm helping my cousin who is an international student fix theirs but they don't have much work experience or school involvement. If you have the time, do you have any ideas on what I could do to help improve it or if there's anything I should highlight instead like personal hobbies, classes, or spend more time talking about skills? Thank you!

I'll do a quick rundown of the basics first to build a good basis then give tips for that specific situation at the end. Keep in mind at this point in your career your resume should be one page and will be looked at for a minute at most. Once you've written the resume, you can upload it to https://resumeworded.com/ for some free detailed feedback.

I made a copy of my own resume w/out the personal info you can see here, along with checking online examples (I recommend looking at resume writing websites provided by colleges, especially ones for freshmen)

what to include in your resume:

name and contact info (email, linkedin, phone number)

education

experience (can be broken up in 2/3 sections based on themes in your personal experiences, for ex: work, clubs/student orgs, leadership, and service/community involvement)

optional: skills

resume basics:

keep the formatting consistent and easy to skim (i.e. put job titles, dates, etc in the same placement each section). that means dates are all formatted the same, spacing in between lines is the same, same font and font size, same parts of each section italicized, etc.

quantify your achievements and results whenever possible. for ex: specifying how many drinks you made per hour as a barista, how often you did a certain job or task (weekly, daily, etc.), a percent increase in profit or productivity after you did something, etc.

use strong action verbs. and don't repeat verbs, use a different one for each bullet point.

put experiences in reverse chronological order in each section

use sentence long bullet points, not paragraphs. format should be action verb + what + how/why/impact.

don't waste time and space including articles (a, the, etc.). be blunt and to the point.

In the case of your cousin, keep in mind that you want to include relevant experience rather than just load it up with a million different jobs or clubs. definitely mention relevant coursework and embellish the hell out of personal hobbies and skills. I even mentioned this blog on one of my resumes lol ("build following of over # on blog geared towards increasing literacy and rhetorical analysis blah blah blah").

You can take the smallest, most inconsequential experiences and make them sound relevant if you spin it right. If you mowed your neighbor's lawn, you had a neighborhood lawn service. If you watched your cousins, you have caretaker experience. etc. Don't try to come up with a bunch of random stuff just to take up space, but find a way to take what experience they do have and spin it in a way where you can highlight the relevance to whatever they're making the resume for.

tl;dr be concise. be consistent. be specific. highlight your strengths.

[herorps]

Hey flo do you have a guide to naming Chinese characters?? So I can be ethnically correct !

i apologize for how late this is. i’ve had a very busy work day and i’m only now getting some downtime to sit down and answer this the way i want to answer this. i want to start off by saying that i am chinese-american and that what i say and how i name my chinese characters is based on my personal experiences in my community growing up and what i’ve gathered through long-sought out research and diaspora twitter. 

i also want to say that of course your ethnically chinese character can have an western name, it’s very common that we do, especially in modern times and in immigrant spaces, however i think we should be able to normalize using ethnic names. also unless you are adopted ( see: leah lewis ), in my experience you 100% have a chinese name on top of having a ‘western’ name, so if you want to give your character a western name it’d be accurate to give them a chinese name as well ( see: natasha liu bordizzo/liu chengyu ).

if you find this guide helpful, please like and reblog the post, validate me and if you have any questions/corrections/add ons please let me know! 

i would have you start off by reading this really helpful guide. it’s a little long winded and you don’t have to read all of it but they do a great job with describing the different romanizations of names and how they’re different across different dialects/regions. you need to first decide what context your character exists in, whether they’re from beijing or taipei or hong kong, their full name is going to be spelled differently based on what background you want to give them.

my mother’s surname is actually a great example of this. her surname is 湯 which in mandarin chinese is pronounced “tang” but because my mother’s family is originally taishanese, her last name is romanized “hong” everywhere that uses an english spelling. alternatively, if my mother’s family changed their romanization when they moved to hong kong, where they speak cantonese, her last name would have been romanized as “tong”. 

another example of this is chou tzuyu. because she from taiwan, the romanization of her name is chou tzu yu but if her family was from, like, shanghai her name would be romanized zhou zi yu. same chinese characters ( 周子瑜 ), but because they are pronounced differently across different languages and because she is taiwanese, the romanizations are different. 

so after you’ve decided what romanization you want to give them, the next step is to actually choose a name. i personally begin with the given name with all of my characters because i like attaching a meaning to the given name over the surname. and also surnames are pretty easy to find/figure out.

here is a guide that discusses a little bit about naming conventions in china, particularly about gendered names. i really like what tangelotime had to say about the fact that gender doesn’t really matter when it comes to naming because, in my opinion and experience, it doesn’t. i would say that what would be “gendered” is possibly the way a name sounds. idk how to explain this but there are some names that sound “girly” but more in the sense that it’s like girly vs. butch. and i can’t think of a good example of this so you’re just gonna have to ... idk go with your gut. but for the most part, chinese names are gender neutral. 

what tangelotime also said about how giving a chinese name is intense is absolutely true because there are so many things that parents may consider including chinese zodiac and fengshui and radicals in a certain character and what it means---it’s a sport that i do not have the effort for nor the intelligence to properly explain. however, i think the guides that i’ve linked so far do a good job in explaining that in a way that i cannot. here is another extensive guide, but this one discusses historical contexts ( for all u historical rpers heh ) and more importantly imo, the list of themes that a parent might take in creating a name. 

8/6/21 edit: i came across these pictographs of characters from mdzs that analyze the etymology by the radical that gives you a lot of insight to possible name meanings and to the written chinese language. 

additionally, here is a video by avenue x, an amazing creator on youtube who reviews c dramas and gives a lot of in depth cultural context for some of the shows she watches, that explains the names of characters from word of honor and gives the poetry references that the writers may have used. 

so if you’ve taken a look all the guides i’ve given you, good on you, i really appreciate you putting in all the work. now let me give you some examples of how different things may be taken into consideration when giving a chinese name. 

my given name is 安儀, romanized “on yee” because my family speaks cantonese. the first character means “safe” while the second character means “appearance,” so together my name means “safe appearance”. but, my mom also took into consideration the radicals of the characters as well. the first character looks like it has a hat or a roof on it right? that is intentional. the character underneath the hat is the character/radical for girl, so my mom wanted to make sure that her daughter had something over her that would protect her. hence why she chose the character 安. the second character in my given name consists of primarily two other words/radicals, 亻+ 義. the first radical is a variation of ⼈, the chinese word for “person,” and the second radical can roughly translate to “righteous” which means when put together, 儀 can mean “righteous person.” however 儀 can also come to mean “the appearance of a righteous person” if you consider all of the meanings i’ve given so far. my parents thought heavily about what my name means, not only on a translation level but also on a structural level. 

if you’re writing a family with multiple children, consider having a generational name. in short, generational names usually have a shared character among a single generation of family members. both of my parents and their siblings are named in this manner. my mom and her siblings all have the 華 ( wah ) character in their names. my dad and his brother have the 少 ( siu ) character and his sisters have the 美 ( mei ) character in their names. my grandparents ( both sets ) thought to give their kids a generational link in their names. 

now let’s look at jackson wang’s given name, 嘉尔, which he explained was homophonic in meaning. this is a tangent but chinese people love homophones and it’s why we don’t trust the number 4 but love the number 8. his given name, romanized “gaa yee”/”jia er”  is essentially a homophone for “plus 2″. he said ( in a video that i cannot find anymore ) that his grandfather named him because he wanted the meaning to be “a king with two guards to protect him”. jackson’s last name 王 (wong/wang) means “king” so “king” “plus 2″ is the intention his grandfather had in naming him. 

but if you’re really not versed in things like fengshui or poetry or you don’t have someone with chinese literacy available to you, the next best thing is to honestly ... take a look at media. whether that’s celebrities or film/tv/book characters ( written by actual chinese people pls ) and see what their names are ( or at least the romanizations are ). this will help you figure out what sounds appropriate and what sounds like you’re just mashing sounds together ( see: cho chang is she korean... is she chinese?? who the fuck knows ). and then finding characters that give off a meaning ( like my name meaning “safe appearance” ) is just fine imo. 

and honestly sometimes giving a name doesn’t have to be so deep. like fan bingbing’s name literally translates to “ice ice” and i don’t even know what her brother, chengcheng’s name is supposed to mean, i think their parents just think having the duplicated character is fun and cute. so don’t stress yourself out. 

also a lot of what i’ve gone over has pertained to the common 3-character name ( 1 character surname, 2 character given name ) but you can also consider a 2 character name ( 1 character surname, 1 character given name ) ( see: xiao zhan ) or even a 2 character surname ( see: ouyang nana ). 

so finally, to get you started, here is a short list of characters and their romanizations that you can take a look at.

thank you so much for bearing with me, i know this is a lot of information to take in but it is great that you are seeking this information out in the first place. i also know that this may seem very daunting, and even for me it’s daunting sometimes, but if you have any more questions, please let me know and if you have anything you’d like to add, please let me know. 

[us-ugay]

UsUk concept: they were friends/colleagues-with-benefits during the early and most intense stages of the Cold War but it was their combined jealousy that made them realise they had feelings for one another and they started dating once Alfred wasn't running on the egotistical 'global superpower' high and Arthur was generally more stable.

Add on:

Alfred definitely used and continues to use the term 'special relationship' when someone asks about the closeness of America and UK [England specifically] in geopolitics AND when someone asks how close he and and Arthur are. -☀️

is this the same anon that sent the last two AU ideas in because i love u and thank u for all this good good anonymous content to get me through my boring work days 💕💕💕

ok so 🛑 long ass post alert 🛑 i got rambly and jumped all over the place from point to point so my bad 😬

i always really liked how different ideas even in just the us-uk shipping circles are about when/how those two got together. ive read fics where theyve been fuck buddies since the late 1800s and only got exclusive recently and ive also read fics where they hook up on alfreds bi-centennial, and then even ones where its only recently (like post 00s) where theyve even admited to having feelings for each other and just now exploring that, and its so cool to see everyones personal spin on it.

i also really like when people write about alfreds (while not literally canonical but in reality canonical) fucking ego trip and domineering moves he pulls and how that would play out in his relationships 👁👁 since i have the grace and literacy poise of sack of potatoes, i dont draw or write about darker themes like that because i wouldnt be able to give it the gravity and sensitivity such scenarios deserve but i sure love reading what other, competent people write 😂 and im sure while it wasnt a /healthy/ or /good/ dynamic to be in, arthur still at least got some good d*ck out if it since he seems like he’d get off on hate/angry f*cking

also, even outside of fandom i always thought that the “special relationship” was quite a sweet phrase 🥺 i do my best not to mix actual politics w this stuff but it still warms my cold lil heart to see it encorporated into fics n stuff. just like how in a lot of fan canons have alfred always calling arthur sweetheart, alfred in canonverse would bring up the special relationship w arthur 😭 aint nothing like two relatively immortal beings in a league of their own that historically have had to be selfish and dominating to survive, denying their nature to come together and share such a delicate, loving bond 😭😭😭

started typing out my own headcanon (thats much more flexible now since i dont really GAF about canonverse stuff) but shit got long because the I.R. degree jumped out lol my bad. but tl:dr my old headcanon does align w this one in a few ways and i love that for us anon

also idk how to do readmores on mobile so just scroll ahead if ur on ur phone and dont wanna read this shit whoops

—————

havent been focused much on like canon-verse stuff recently but for the longest time my go-to headcanon was them having that 👀 tension 👀 in the mid-war period as alfred rapidly grew to becoming one of the most powerful players on the world stage and arthur was still in the midst of pretending like he was still in control of the world.

so there was those feelings of jealousy and bitterness from arthur towards alfreds success (meanwhile being hot under the collar because theres no way dude doesnt have some power/control/domination k*nks) and meanwhile alfreds finally coming into his own and sees himself as an equal player to all the former european super powers and gets upset when arthur wont treat him as an equal like the others are

of course then the 2nd bitch hits and knocks arthur flat on his ass and alfred comes in to help and while they navigate through that and the war, the politicians around them are egging “the special relationship” on and after a big ass jumble of emotions n stuff they finally hit their stride of working together as a team and get really close during it. at the end in the midsts of celebration the tension snaps and they finally hook up

then in the after war period, i imagine that theyre not 100% love birds or anything like that, its more of a slightly awkward and private relationship/borderline friends w benefits while theyre still publicly close allies. the relationship begins to really strain during the worst parts of the cold war w arthur finally relinquishing the last of his global power and alfreds increasing paranoia. i feel like there were a few times where they definitely had some falling outs and spats but they always came back because of political means and their shared history

then through the 80s, as the cold war begins to thaw both of them start getting more comfortable and their relationship gets better. then once the iron curtain falls and alfreds the only super power around, their relationship hits the best stride it ever does. they practically fly to each other’s place at least once a month and theyre a full blown romantic pair

then the stress of the 00’s casts a dark mood real quick. i dont feel too comfortable bringing up recent world politics when we’re talking about the fictional country sterotype animes so we’ll leave it at that, but personal issues wise for these two is that alfred is angry and lashing out and arthur is torn between wanting to sooth and be there for him and not like.... enabling and getting too wrapped up in stuff thats not his issues

in the last decade i think things, while not as clingy as they were in the 90s are relatively ok. current global political trends aside and think they were riding a similar wave so there wasnt too much rockiness between them but they were both fairly busy w their own shit so theyll be cutesy when together but they couldnt take much time to have little couples retreats.

nowadays? obviously distance and space apart isnt good for any relationship so i think that while they still love eachother, theyve been much more quippy and snappy w eachother over texts n stuff, but i think once they can meet up again theyll definitely release some of that tension 👀👀👀

but as i said before, this was probably the main headcanon from when i first got into the fandom stupid long ago to like...... idk maybe mid 10s when other fandoms were consuming more of my brain power? and when i “got back into” this fandom (not that i ever left but you know what i mean) ive been more focused on AUs n stuff because then i can get my sweet sweet fix of fully indulgent romance and fuckery without the weird nagging guilt of ignoring the real politics that theyre tied to on the back of my mind lol

however, i still let myself hold room for multiple iterations of headcanons when it comes to the canonverse simply because theres so many ways to interpret their characters/history/interactions/etc and obviously the full scope of the actual events that make this characters to chose from as well and it feels almost shallow to have only one view.

[ao3gingerswag]

I hope he teaches them separately. Idk if it makes sense but I think it would be very in character for sam to, in a way, be jealous of dean, I guess. I know it sounds absurd but it's not I mean it in a very specific way, like in cannon. Like hes not jealous of cas like dean would be if sam found someone cuz hes Well AdjustedTM, but I think he has extremely polarizing feelings about cas. In no way does he resent dean obviously, in fact hes vry protective of him, he just, wants to get along with him, ig. And in a worse (to him) way, wants that affection from him. Hes a kiddo!! Ofcourse he wants affection, but he thinks cas only has it for dean, which hes both glad for & weary of, but I think he doesnt realize that cas will eventually come to be protective of him, too. That's his kid!! That's their kid brother!! So you know, this montage of cas personally teaching him about the plants, as opposed to dean passing on the knowledge like he thought would happen. And before giving dean the book like he planned, he asks Sam if he would tell him what it says, & is suitably impressed by Sam's literacy (which makes sam happier than he'll admit) & he feels respected & safe & important & it's the start of their relationship which will devolve into The Chaos Duo that nerds out about eucalyptus & cas carries sam around on his shoulders & sam hangs off them upside down & steals dean's cookies off the counter & dean hates them so much

Alternatively it would also be wonderful to see the impact that sam would have on cas. I think the way we know these characters in canon, dean is the one that tries to teach cas what fun is, & how you're supposed to have it. Yet it is sam who ends up sort of successfully teaching him Fun. Probably because he never intends to teach him he sorta just encourages him to have it & discover it on his own. & as a happy coincidence, it turns out their definitions of it are actually compatible. Dean teaches cas a lot about humanity, & dean definitely finds in cas a person he can genuinely have fun with, something he can't do Completely with sam because their sibling dynamic is haunted by their parent-child dynamic

But for cas it's the exact opposite, I think. With dean hes busy worshipping, observing, consuming, lost. Hes happy & content because hes deriving joy from dean being happy & content. But with sam he can actually, fuck around, essentially, is what I'm trying to say. ShenanigansTM, general teenage lunacy, etc etc. Just even geeking out about ridiculously niche stuff

So in wander home, sam might bring out a part of cas that dean hasn't gotten to see yet. Just as cas will bring out a part of dean sam hasnt seen yet. & sam, well Sam's parts are rather known to dean. Except what he actively hides so that's ok.

Thank you.

Yesss I so agree with everything u just said!!!! Like Dean is so earnest and all but its sam who would be like come on cas :) lets have fun :) pick me up so i can scale this tree branch :) oh u dont want me to get lost in the woods? i guess you will have to chase me then bc im running into them!!! and cas would be all AHHHHHH bc he’s so stressed and has so much on his shoulders but then eventually he would end up having fun :)) !!! but yes at first sam is like I Dont Trust You. I feel like cas teaching sam alone would go a long way to developing that trust,  but i also feel like for at least a while sam would be like really scared to be that far from dean while alone with cas. like he’d get all defensive and hissy but really he’d be terrified ;~; but thats only at first. later he’d still be wary of cas but cas teaching him would be like Bonding. Honestly rn im leaning towards writing both scenes? where cas teaches sam and dean together when sam is still very new and sam is all hissy, then maybe a cute one with just him and dean bc bringing sam Didnt Work, and dean and cas get all blushy and cute and hold hands like they wouldn’t if sam were there, and then after that one where cas teaches sam alone after sam trusts him a liiiitle more :))

[jensungf]

10 questions tag pt.2

hoo boi okay so ive been tagged in this a lot so im going to split it up into parts but this is alr a lot to read so if u read all of this u deserve a cookie so reply back with cookie and ima send u kithes and hugs

thank u to every who tagged me!! @byunbaekby @neocitybynight @bumblebeenct

aurora’s questions (these r from awhile back hehe

what’s your favorite dish from your culture?

i like phở gà (chicken noodle soup) or bún bò huế (hhh idk it in english)

vegetables or fruit?

fruits? i don’t like either

what’s the last book you’ve read and did you like it?

i think i had to read frankenstein for decathalon before corona hit and no i did not ugh

what inscription would you like on your tombstone?

heart nutted too hard or leyna [redacted] ; jk i actually dont know, i guess in loving memory leyna her love shall forever be remembered thru photographs bc even when the people change, the memories still stay or something (my brain is chaotic rn)

what should they teach in high school but do’t?

definitely financial literacy and how to do taxes and whatnot

who would you most like to sit next to on a 10 hours flight and why?

probs jisung or renjun bc lbr jisung and i would be the type to play smash the entire time and snack (and also if i fell asleep on his shoulder that shit would be so cute omfg) but renjun and i could continue talking for hours hahahah

what skill would you like to master?

cooking/baking!

what movie title best describes your life?

to all the boys i’ve loved before (ok not rly but i couldn’t think of much)

what’s the best way to start your day?

waking up well rested with my outfit planned and no rush getting ready to go eat brunch w my friends

what pets did you have while you were growing up?

i never had any pets hehe i’m allergic and mis padres say no

milly’s questions

where is the favourite place you’ve ever been?

i think i really like the city in toronto!! it’s super aesthetic and the vibes are amazing but i didn’t get to explore :( @longassride kidnap me pls

what is your best school subject, and if it changed drastically why?

it’s always been english haha but i’m not even that good

animated or live action films?

i prefer animated tbh the live action films i’ve seen don’t do any justice

do you play any instruments, how long for?

i play the bassoon and it’s been like 6 years (don’t need fooled i hate it)

have you told anyone irl that you have a blog?

yeah lmao a lot of my irls know and i let some follow me but we dont talk about it too much

favourite social media? 

instagram or tumblr

can you quote me something from your favourite book?

“There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying.” — Just Listen, Sarah Dessen

what was the last tv show you finished in its entirety?

fuck i have no idea i don’t even think ive ever finished a tv show...  oops?

do you have an all time favourite nct fic on this site?

i have many so it’s so hard to choose but one of my all time favs might be @/starlightkun’s ayakashi series for jeno called featherbrain and @lovingyong’s tatbilb series for jaemin. i stayed up until 7am reading featherbrain and i didn’t stop rereading it for a wk bc it was everything i’ve ever liked in one story since i was super into otome games at one point and if i’m being honest, kelsie’s series helped move past a lot of hardships bahahah i could probably quote a few lines honestly bc they mean so much to me 

if you could time travel, when would you go?

the 90s!!

sunny’s questions

If you could pick one artist to soundtrack your life, who would it be?

niki bc she is queen and relatable !!!

If you could have a Magic Eight Ball that really would answer your questions, what would you ask it?

am i going to be happy and successful?If you could bring one cryptid (supernatural creature) to life, what would you choose?

If you could bring one cryptid (supernatural creature) to life, what would you choose?

honestly that’s so hard ugh i might say angels/demons (i know that’s two but the concept has always intrigued me)

Coke or Pepsi?

coke but i don’t like either

What is your guilty pleasure?

otome games hehe but i guess just reading ff/webtoons all the time

If you had a title after your name (e.g. Alexander the Great) what would you want?

leyna the lover or some shit like that haha i rly dont know

Would you rather have a band who narrated all your movements through song or the paparazzi follow you around?

haksjsk i think band bc it doesn’t always have to be a literal narration and paparazzi would expose my every move

If you could be a K-Pop idol, would you be? Whether or not you answer yes, would you date an idol?

no i wouldn’t because it’s too much of a sacrifice to give up everything and dedicate my life to the toxic industry. and personally no i wouldn’t unless i rly loved them and it happened naturally bc it’s again a huge sacrifice and it’s difficult on both ends

When it rains, are you inside watching from the window or outside twirling in the puddles?

inside haha i could never go outside during rain

If you could time travel to any time period, which would you choose?

maybe the late 80s or 90s.. it seemed like a lot of fun to interact with people without technology. drive in movies, cheap candy, rollerskating down the boardwalk, the fashion and music, the vibes

my questions:

what is your usual resting facial expression?

what was your favorite childhood cartoon?

would you ever have kids? if so, do you have any baby names ready?

whats your favorite way to talk to people? (irl, text, call, ft, etc)

what color fits your vibe and why?

what is your preferred way to be comforted? emotional support or finding a solution?

how long have you been on tumblr?

do you wash your clothes right after you buy them or right after you wear them?

do you have an ideal type or any celeb that matches your ideal type?

do you believe in soulmates?

you’re under no obligation to do this but tagging: @lovelyjsuh @nanasarea​ @neolights @jaemallow @jaetyhm @glossyjaems @cherrysung @yongiefilms​  @juyeonzz​ @lovingyong​ @gohyuck​ @longassride​

[theartoflivingalways]

i’ve been awake for over 24 hours

I haven’t been on tumblr in years. i stopped using it after high school, but I don’t know why. but now I’m back tonight, because I needed someone to talk to, but I have no one to listen. i have friends, i have family, i have a boyfriend. i have a therapist. but no matter what: i feel so unheard, so unseen, and so ignored by everyone in my life that i literally feel like i have no one to truly turn to. for anything. so, here i am. hope i get a warm welcome!!!

here’s the thing: i’m NOT a depressed person. i’m not sad, i don’t have any major mental health issues apart from anxiety and some adhd. and before you take that the wrong way, please don’t. i just got my master’s degree in social work and i’ll be starting my new job as a therapist in a couple of weeks.

but, i’m also NOT a happy person. tbh, i can’t really describe my overall ~mood~ or whatever you wanna call it. i kinda just wake up and survive the day, every day. i take it one day at a time ... kinda like what AA says to do; but no, before you ask or the thought crosses your mind, i’m not an addict. at least not a alcohol/other drugs addict ??? sorry

maybe this is why there’s no one to listen when i need them to. i fucking ramble about literally nothing before getting to the point. 

it’s weird that i’m writing right now (ok, typing???). i haven’t done this since i was little. it feels good to do this, to have some sort of outlet when you feel so fucking unseen and unheard by every. single. person. around you. 

so i haven’t slept in over 24 hours. it’s my own fault for sure and i have adderall to thank for that (yes i’m prescribed). i decided to start a blog again because i’m sitting here, still wide awake in my apartment, alone, while my boyfriend is sound asleep in my bedroom.

so what’s my fucking problem??? why do i want someone to talk to?? i don’t know honestly. i just feel like lately all i do is listen to others, help others, give myself completely to others. and in return, i get nothing. nothing even close to what i give, or to what i’m capable of giving. which is sad. not for me particularly (maybe?), but for others, yes, i think so. 

i’m not saying that i expect anything in return for helping others, because i don’t. i didn’t enter the field of social work for the fucking money. and i know a lot of fucked up shit is going on in the world right now, and in no way do i want to minimize ANY of that. i’m just feeling a little lost and lonely, so i’m hoping this is a new outlet for me to sort out those feelings.

the last couple of hours, i’ve had a LONG string of thoughts. if you read through, you’ll eventually found out how they started. but one of the things i’ve been wrestling with in my mind is the type of person i am. 

you see, it’s difficult to be “that” person for others your whole life, especially all the fucking time. if you’re anything like me, you know what i mean by that. and if you aren’t anything like me, well, first of all congrats!!!!, and secondly, i’ll explain what i mean.

when you’re “that” person for others, like myself, it’s easy for other people to walk all over you. take advantage of you, take you for granted, expect you to ALWAYS be there no matter the cost. and of course, why wouldn’t they? you’re always there to help. you’re ALWAYS there to offer support, guidance, and advice. you’re nurturing. you listen. you’re a fucking irreplaceable, loyal to death friend. if you’re VERY much like me, you’re also the one person in your family who isn’t a total fuck up (at least not publicly?)

you’re also nonjudgmental, and you were blessed with the curse of being empathic towards others at all times. empathy of course is beautiful and a very good thing to have in this life, but do you know how hard it is to feel for every single person around you.. and not have anyone feel for you???? damn

also, you never let anyone down!! ever. you’re reliable, dependable, trustworthy to the point where it’s almost sketchy because like??? who can be that way to everyone else at all times? you guessed it- people like me and people like u!! (if this is even semi-relatable, i’m sorry) 

but people like us, like you, like me, tend to do this thing where we keep the same shitty fucking toxic people around that have hurt us, continue to hurt us both indirectly and directly, and who have let us down time and time again, because we continue clinging on to the fucking useless hope that “someday they’ll change”. someday, they’ll realize how fucking important you are to them and how shitty their lives are, and would be, without you in it.

you- we - also live by honesty and truthfulness, and assume others just live by this as well. but then you’re proved wrong over and over and over again, yet you never fucking learn your lesson because you are STILL hopeful that somewhere, somehow, deep down, other people DO stand by the morals you try so hard to stand by in life. most of the time, though, you’re completely avoiding the reality of other people and their experiences and who they really are, only to try to fit your own narrative of how you see things and how you think things should be. 

if this sounds anything like you... i’m sorry. i know it all too well. 

i grew up as the “golden child” in my family. not just my immediate family. my entire fucking family. the pressure to be perfect has lead me to develop debilitating anxiety in my 20′s, and it is what it is, but like, why the fuck couldn’t i have anxiety in high school like a normal teenager? why now? 

so yeah my anxiety’s pretty bad. it’s pretty bad tonight, which is why i turned here. to tumblr. to try to write out my thoughts. which, by the way, i’m sorry, because this is an absolute fucking mess and makes no sense. if you are reading this, though, thank you. thank you for listening when no one else seems to.

anyway. growing up with the pressure of being *perfect* has a cost. at least for me it did: 1) anxiety of course, and 2) perfectionist tendencies. these have literally- LITERALLY - ruined my entire college and graduate school experience. perfectionism combined with anxiety is a recipe for fucking disaster, and i’ve been cooking it for years.

i am deliberately writing this without proper punctuation/grammer/whateverthefuckyouwanttocallit, not capitalizing my letters etc., because i want to not have to be so perfect all the time on here, if this is something i’m going to stick to.  i know that sounds silly but it’s actually been very difficult for me to write in all lower-caps and i’m very worried that no one will even read this and HEAR ME because of my literacy negligence (i have no idea if that’s even a real thing or if it even has meaning but it sounded right)

do u want to know why i decided to write this though, truly? what lead to me feeling like i’m “spiraling” - apart from no sleep in over 24 hours now? well, get ready to laugh, because i truly think i’m pathetic and going crazy.

i went to dinner tonight with my boyfriend and his fam. our waitress was a girl i used to know years ago in high school. my boyfriend knew her too. in fact, he knew her VeRY well. for the sake of my anxious overthinking, i don’t feel like going too much into the details of *that* situation, so thanks in advance for understanding.

anyway. this corny bitch made a joke about the current political environment. i won’t say what exactly, because i’d really like to keep my identity as concealed as absolutely possible on here. but long story short, no one really laughed - every one just kinda smiled awkwardly. but you know who did laugh? my boyfriend :) 

TO ME, it seemed intentional. she wasn’t fucking funny, for one. she made a bad - no, a very bad- joke. like one of those corny dad jokes. not even a dad joke actually. a step-dad joke, except your step-dad is a loser that you hate, who treats ur mom/dad bad, has no sense of humor or a horrible sense of humor and idk, just fucking sucks you know ???

sorry that got kinda dark and it was unnecessary but do u know what i mean??? and no, that was literally not relevant to me or my family system/structure in any way. just kinda came to me, ya know? ...writing works in mysterious ways man

alright so if you don’t agree, that’s fine. i already told you to get ready to laugh, because i am well aware of how insane i fucking sound. but you know what makes anxiety & perfectionism 100x harder to cope with? insecurities. and i’m FULL of them. 

so anyway. we left dinner. him & i were driving home. i will admit that i did have some wine at dinner, and i wasn’t drunk but i definitely was feeling cocky enough to stir the pot with him. so, i casually said, “hey... didn’t you date _____?” *insert annoying waitress’s name who i knew once upon a time*

i said it very calmly. very coooool. v collected and nice. he said “no? i’ve never even talked to or hungout with that girl”.

i wish u could see my face as i’m writing this right now bc i cannnot. like i gave u a choice.... the opportunity. tHE SIMPLE opportunity - a chance - to be fucking honest................................

this dude. straight up. lied to my face. about this fucking girl. ???????

YEARS AGO, they most certainly did talk. a lot. in fact, my crAZy ass searched their names on facebook to find their old little love notes to each other that they posted on each others’ walls. which were very cringey but nothing that made me feel jealous or insecure (for once). after all, they were from years ago- i’m talking 5+ - so likeeee.... why would he lie (: 

oh and they definitely did hang out because.... i remember clearly.... a PICTURE OF THE two of them *together* *hangin* (prob bangin too) (sorry) years ago in this now-waitress’s bedroom. i believe it was a ~webcam photo~ that they took on the new mac computer her parents prob bought her. so this photo is now NO WHERE to be found. and believe me, i looked. no, i LURKED. i went to the beginnnning of her instagram posts and deep into her uploaded facebook pictures. ok, not ‘deep’, i literally got to the first pic she ever posted on FB just to try to find this damn picture. and it took me for. fucking. ever. because this bitch has prolly posted a million pictures in the last 5+ years like who does that???

but i swear to fucking whatever the fuck that this picture exists. i have fucking seen it. i’d describe it in perfect detail right now as if i saw it today, but, once again, i’m concealin my identity, yo, so i can’t do all that. v sorry

anywho. this dude - who i call my boyfriend (and yes i love him very very much and our past is absolutely fucked but that’s a whole other story for a very different time) - had the nerve, the audacity, to tell me to my face, that he “definitely doesn’t have a picture with her” because “they’ve never hung out or talked before” ... ?!??????

obv i sent him screenshots of the dirt i dug up on facebook from 5+ years ago (i.e., the old posts between them in case ya forgot during my rambling) bc like, caught ya in a lie sir. red handed.

i might be late on mentioning this part, but here’s the fucking kicker (and i’ve never used that phrase and i don’t know why i said that but ok?): TODAY, for the first time in MONTHS, literally!!!, bc of the virus and the quarantine and all that, i got ready today for dinner with his family. like actually got ready. i spent HOURS doing my make up. i don’t even remember the last time i did my make up, ok. i dressed in a really cute outfit. i felt fucking very good about myself. i thought for sure when he’d come pick me up to go to dinner he’d at least say something. at least acknowledge it. he has literally only seen me in raw form for too many days now. like, complete bare face and sweat pants basically every day since march.

but. did he even look at me twice?!!? no. did he mention anything about how i looked? how it was drastically different from my everyday attire the last couple months? did he take 2 seconds out of his day to say something corny or flirty to me? even just, “you look beautiful”??? honestly i would’ve even appreciated, “you look beautiful, for once” ???

did u guess the correct answer? well if u didn’t, it’s N O.

but u know who he did look at twice.

our waitress at dinner.

(: 

i think i wrote enough for one night. if u think this is my anxiety/perfectionism/insecurities combination spiraling out of control after being tamed incessantly for 20+ years, PLZ TELL ME.

but also, if you have a fucking brain, you’d know that:

1) this is definitely NOT the first time i’ve responded to something like this the way i did, and 

2) i really just needed to ramble on and vent about all the shit that’s been going through my mind the last 2 1/2 hours, so there’s that.

have a good night get some sleep!!! thank u for ur time. 

[thealogie]

u said the other night that u would explain the "you go too fast for me" line, i'm not the anon that asked about it but if u would be willing to do so still, i would love to hear ur thoughts. i have a straight friend who laughed at it bc they interpreted it as the surface level "crowley drives really fast" and thought it was intended as a joke and i don't know how to explain to them the depth of that line and i was hoping ur reading ur thoughts might help me articulate mine. thank u

oh yeah absolutely. I should have known that my adhd would get in the way of me remembering to explain it without that ask there to remind me!

Ok I feel like you’re asking me to explain it to people who literally do not have any media literacy so let me take it truly step by step.

Step 1: writers, actors and directors use subtext in film. Literally all stories have SOME KIND of subtext because stories suck without subtext. subtext can be things that are implied about a character’s feelings (eg we kind of know han and leia have feelings for each other before they tell us so), it can be symbols you use to encode your story with political/ideological messages (famous example: the eyes in the great gatsby...the light in the great gatsby...gatsby in the great gatsby), and you use it to create tension and raise the stakes in a scene by making the scene be about two things at once, a surface level thing that moves the story forward and s secondary thing that moves character forward...I wish I could think of any other famous example off the top of my head but the one they use in so many writing classes is basic instinct...the detective interrogates sharon stone “what’s your new book about?” She says “about a detective who falls for the wrong woman.she kills him.” She’s implying he’s gonna fall for her etc. This is super obvious but there can obviously be subtler examples

Ok so premise 2: it’s more likely that a scene or piece of dialogue or plot point serves a purpose beyond its literal meaning when reading it literally (and only literally) would render it completely superfluous to plot or character. This is especially true of gay coding in film. is there any point to Plato having a picture of Alan Ladd in his locker or swinging around a rubber hose like that in Rebel without a Cause if NOT to tell us he’s gay? 10/10 film teachers (all across the Kinsey scale) say nope all of that is there to Drop Hints He’s Gay. Ok at this point if your friends go “obviously that’s just a prop not a plot point that has another purpose as well”...he’s a great example. in BBC Merlin when Arthur is dying he gives his seal to someone to take back to Guinevere, naming her as his successor and then he goes off with Merlin who is trying to cure him and then he dies in Merlin’s arms...on the dvd commentary, as he hands off the seal, the writer of the show said “oh there goes the last vestige of his heterosexuality—i mean marriage!”...like yeah he was half kidding but writers absolutely know this stuff and they know use of subtextual cuss creates a subconscious impression in the viewer’s mind, leading them to the right emotional place (in the Merlin example, even if you don’t read the handing off of the seal as a symbol of him saying “goodbye to his heterosexuality,” it gives you the mental impression that he is easily parting with Gwen and going with Merlin).

Finally in the context of that actual scene: 80% of the conversations aziraphale and crowley have in that montage are completely unnecessary to plot. it’s all about character. By the time we get to the car specifically, we already know aziraphale is anxious about rules but willing to break them, we know these two like each other and we know crowley likes to be nice to aziraphale. So what possible new thing could they communicate? well, lots. even without a gay reading...we get that aziraphale cares enough about crowley to specifically break a rule for him, that he’d rather do this than see crowley in danger, and we also get that crowley wants to hang out and is disappointed that aziraphale won’t come with him. Up to the point where crowley offers to give aziraphale a lift as a thank you, you can be like “ok even if I read this at a surface level, I’m getting new character information, this all makes sense and is communicating new information to me” but it’s utterly pointless to have crowley offer a SECOND TIME and insist “I’ll give you a lift anywhere you want to go” and it really serves no purpose for aziraphale to say “you go too fast for me” in THAT voice if NOT to tell us a subtextual GAY story. What does it add to the story for crowley to offer again and for aziraphale to say I can’t come with you because you go too fast if NOT to also communicate to us something about their relationship? even if you don’t read it romantically it’s just so clear that it communicates crowley being needy and aziraphale being unwilling to get on crowley’s level about breaking the rules/being friends. But it’s clearly romantic (like deliberately meant to build up subtextual “oh it’s forbidden” romantic tension). Look at the performances and directing choices! They matter! he doesn’t say this line in a funny way...this could have been played as a joke. Like aziraphale was using heaven as an excuse the first time he said no to the ride but actually he’s been trying hard to hide that he’s scared of cars going too fast!! I know it doesn’t sound like a good punchline but I could 100% direct that scene to be incredibly funny with no dialogue change. You just need to change the tone and pacing to set up “you go too fast for me crowley” as a comedic reveal...but he says it softly....he says it super seriously and sadly......why.....WHY......

[lokidokiliteratureclub]

Frostbitten (Chapter One)

Loki x Reader

Prologue

Y/N L/N is a child of a Jotun and an Asgardian. She spends her life hidden in the dungeons of Asgard, with no one to talk to other than one of the princes- a man who seems completely incapable of leaving her alone and entirely unable to give up on helping her. Y/N and Loki Odinson have always been inseparable, it seems- even when there is a cell wall, or a village, or an entire kingdom between them. 

Even when he disappears, even when you run away, and even when his world falls apart; you are inseparable. 

Oh lordy the first part of this fic got waaayy more attention than I was expecting If you want to be added for tags in this series, leave a comment or send me an ask, and I’ll add you for the coming parts. Thanks so much for reading!!

P.S.: This part is not action-filled or anything. The interesting stuff starts the next part.

P.P.S: Normally I don’t update this quickly- I just wasn’t doing anything else today.

________________________

Twelve Years Later

Loki Odinson has not been down in the dungeons for two months. That's two months of being alone. Two months of not speaking. Two months of you wondering what's wrong on the surface. Three times so far you've gotten too close to the barrier. Those three times are hardened burns on your blue arms. Small welts on your soft palms. Scratches on your bare knees. The lady who brings you food in the morning noticed the wounds but said nothing- simply laying a tub of ice on the table next to a soft washcloth.

The fact that they actually gave you an unassembled ice pack for your injuries makes you want to laugh. It sounds like something you’d tell Loki about. You add it silently to the list of things you’ll tell him when he comes back.

If he comes back.

Loki has left before- usually with a warning, though. Usually only for a week. It has been eight.

One day he’s sitting outside your cell, applauding you on how far you’ve advanced in magic and droning on about how he wishes he could see you without the yellow film between you- maybe even touch you. Shake your hand. Touch your shoulder. Things that people can do when they’re not imprisoned under a giant castle or unable to control whose arm they freeze off. One day, you two are dreaming of what could be, completely absorbed in each other's thoughts and words, and the next, the inseparable become separated.

And even though it’s possible that he left you by choice, you’re more worried for him than you are about yourself. 

"Hey, Njord," you speak aloud, targeting one of the head guards on patrol. He doesn't stop to look at you, not even shifting from his position outside your cell. "Hey, Njord," you say, louder. "What's the buzz? How's the royal family?"

Njord heaves an annoyed sigh but doesn't respond. You scoot closer to the barrier so that you and the guard are only really about a foot apart.

"Hey, Njord,"

He makes a huffing noise.

"I'd like a book. Or a cup of tea. Is that arrangeable?" You tilt your head, fiddling with a couple spare strands of hair. "Your beard looks rather nice today. Very clean."

Njord gives a slight swell of pride and raises a hand to caress his beard, but then he realizes he doesn't have a beard. His face falls. He looks sad. You almost feel bad, but you don’t. So you laugh.

"Don't tease him, he lost the beard in a bet," says Lady Sif, descending into the prison in a bit of haste and sparing you a quick glance. "Haven't you anything else to do, prisoner?"

You shrug, rolling onto your back and staring at the ceiling. "I'm a twenty-two-y-year-old Jotun-Asgardian hybrid in prison, whose only companion has been inexplicably absent for two months. Njord won't get me books. I haven't seen the light of day in fourteen years. I have literally nothing to think about and nothing to do, so no."

"Njord, get her a book or two so she'll quit talking," Sif grumbles, and footsteps let you know that he is leaving.

You roll onto your stomach, staring out at her. She's dismounting a shield and removing a sword from one of the upper shelves of the guard's stock. She's a bit flimsy with the weapons from what you can see, but Loki had insisted that she showed promise in the combat field. More than meets the eye, you suppose.

You watch her fasten the shield to her arm and prop yourself up on your elbows. "Will you be joining the staff down here?"

She sends you a pointed glare. "No. I'll be joining the staff up there." Sif nods toward the stairs leading out of the dungeons and grabs a sword sheath from another shelf, attempting to fasten that on as well. 

"Joining the army? How patriotic."

She ignores you, sheaths the sword, and heads back up.

"Hm." You exhale. "Rude."

Moments later, Njord arrives back in your cell, stepping through the energy barrier like it’s not even there. He drops a single hardcover down in front of you, then strides back out and resumes his post. The book is long- which is probably what Njord was going for when he found it. It’ll take you especially long since you really have only known how to read for three years- courtesy of Loki, of course. The gift of literacy is one of the many you’ve received from him. Hopefully, it can save you from dying of boredom or worry while you wonder where the hel he is.

The first thing you notice when you look at the book is that it’s completely tattered- sometimes with entire pages missing out of it. The pages that remain are yellowed and reek of a musty, almost moldy smell. You wrinkle your nose, looking back to Njord.

“Where did you get this?” you ask, shaking your head.

Njord finally gives in and responds with a grain of salt: “The book cart outside the dungeon. Last one.”

There’s no book cart outside the dungeon. They keep the area empty to ensure there aren’t any messages being passed between the outside world and the world down here.

Could Loki be trying to... no. Well, maybe. Maybe he’s banned from the dungeons. Maybe this is his only way to contact. Maybe he hasn’t abandoned you, and he’s been trying to contact all this time. The thought of it gives you the tiniest shard of hope.

You look back down at the book, then very carefully open it. The title is Where You Will and it appears to be romantic fiction. A picture of a girl and a boy are drawn next to each other, the boy wrapping the girl in a shawl. There’s a smeared fingerprint beside the title, and a small note is written in the margin in sloppy, rushed lettering.

I’m cold.

You frown, moving your thumb over the words.

That turned out to be exactly what you needed to do.

In the places where your finger met the page, you see pieces of discoloration. Your heart starts to beat a bit faster, twisting in your chest. You press your entire palm to the page for a moment and then lift it.

It’s a drawing of a snake and beside it a lightly sketched snowflake.

Ok, this is definitely Loki. And unless he’s communicating with another Jotun prisoner who happens to be able to read and happens to have the audacity to ask a guard for books, the message in this book is for you.

You turn the page and grip the side of the book, spilling frost over the surface of the parchment. There are no notes- instead, there are very slight, nearly hidden underlines under some letters. You read over them, putting them together in your head.

y o u n e e d T o l e a V e

And then you flip the page, giving it the same treatment. 

c o l d Is t h e a B s e n c e o f e n E r g y

Then the next page.

t r Y t o d I S s a p e a r

Then,

I w I l l f i n d y o u w H e r e v e r y o u a r e - L

You flip to the next page, and then the next, and the next, until you’re absolutely positive that you’ve seen every message. 

If this is Loki, which it has to be, how long have the books been there? Weeks? A month? How old is this message? And why should you hide?

Cold is the absence of energy.

You at least know what that means. The barrier is pure energy. Loki seems to be implying that you can freeze it, or suck all the juice out of it, or something similar. He clearly thinks you’re more powerful than you are. Not a surprise. That’s kind of his signature move: overestimating you.

It’s charming in a disappointing way. 

Your lips curve into a smile, but it fades into a frown at the thought that whatever Loki is trying to get you away from you cannot escape. You might never see him again. That’s a bit of a dark thought. To never see his sculpted face or charming smile, his dark hair or bright eyes- it leaves a sort of hole in your chest. 

You can’t ever see him again. But can you talk to him? There’s no invisible ink for you to use, but...

You squeeze your eyes shut, wincing, and then bite roughly down on the inside of your cheek until you taste blood. You slip a finger inside your mouth and, using the same communication strategy Loki did, wipe a faint smear of blue over letters on the page, spelling out what you want him to see.

You set down the book and stand up, moving toward the small bed in the back of the cell. Your fear moves through your body and crystalizes on the floor, leaving a trail of ice in your wake. 

You repeat your list of things to remember, your list of things you’ve been told, as you lie down, coaxing yourself into sleep.

You are going to be okay, and nothing can stop that from being so. Not the princes. Not the armies. Not the guards or the walls or the bars that hold you in. Not the ice in your blood or the dark in your eyes. You are safe. You will always be safe. You are not a monster. You are not alone. You can control yourself. I will watch over you.

----

Loki Odinson has not been down to the dungeons in two months. That’s two months of wondering what could be going wrong. That’s two months of hoping you know he hasn’t abandoned you. That’s three attempts at contact, this last one being the most obvious. Writing in a book with ink that can only be seen in the cold. He just has to hope you ask for books, and hope the guards comply.

He does not enjoy being apart from you, and even though he was fully aware that it was going to be hard- suddenly not having you in his life, that is- he could not have anticipated just how hard it was. He actually spoke to his brother, for Odin’s sake. That wasn’t even the hardest task of them all.

You are an echo inside his mind. A song that plays over and over and over, no matter how infuriating it can be. Every time he thinks he can think about something else, you creep back into his mind and he becomes restless again. He buries his head in his hands and tries not to rip out every strand of hair, failing not to picture the worst that could happen if you aren’t prepared. If he can’t get you out of the castle before something.. before it happens. And it’s happening. 

When he sees that the book is gone from the cart, his heart nearly stops. He takes a deep breath, puts on a scowl, and confronts an annoyed Njord as he exits the dungeons.

“Hey, Njord,” he speaks, trying his best to sound uninterested. “Where’s my book?”

Njord stiffens at the sound of Loki’s cold voice and turns deftly toward him. “Your book, your highness?”

“I left it on the cart outside.” He signals to the empty cart, and Njord goes a shade whiter. “You were on guard, yes?”

“The book was yours, sir?”

“Did you give it to someone else?”

“One of the prisoners, sir. Forgive me, I thought it to be meant for-” he breaks off, noticing Loki’s disinterest in the conversation. “I’ll retrieve it at once.”

Moments later, he returns, grasping the book in his hands. He holds it out to Loki, and the prince swiftly takes it from him, huffing to keep from bursting into tears. Njord looks like he might go into cardiac arrest, on the other hand, so Loki adds: “If the prisoners are in need of some form of entertainment, I’ll gather a collection of books personally.”

Njord nods, swallowing. “Yes, sir.”

“Don’t do it again.”

“Of course not, sir.”

“Good,” Loki turns on his heel, away from the guard. “Oh, and your beard is looking swell today, Njord.”

He strides, perhaps a bit too quickly, over to the library, and drops the book on the table, flipping to the opening page. It’s empty. But turn another, and smears of blue appear, clouding over certain letters. Loki’s pulse quickens. He finds his grip tightening on the table as he strings the words together.

I m n O t t h a t s t r o n g

an awful lie, followed by

w h a t  a m I h I d i n g f r o M

Loki exhales and rips the pages from the book, shoving them into his pocket and throwing the damaged copy aside. He’s moving to another shelf, reaching for a book to reply with when his eye catches that of his mother as she passes by. Her shoulder brushes gently against his as she moves to stand next to him, staring over the sea of books along the shelves.

“You’re stressed,” she comments, looking over him. “Is something bothering you?”

“No, no, nothing,” he mutters in return. Frigga looks at him skeptically. “I promise, mother. It’s just that I’m a bit-”

“Don’t lie to me, dear,” she interrupts, reaching into her pocket. Loki’s eyes follow her hand, and she sets a small key on the shelf in front of him, smiling slightly. “It’s perfectly alright to worry about someone. Especially when that person may be in danger.”

She knows.

Loki just stares, first at the key, then at his mother. He opens his mouth and then closes it, and then says: “How long have you...”

“How could I not?” She finishes for him. “Your eyes light up when you speak of someone you care about.”

There’s a heavy silence.

“Thank you,” he says.

“Don’t thank me until after you find what you’re looking for,” she replies.

Then she turns, and she’s gone.

Loki picks up the key, leaves the books, and rushes to his room to prepare for the worst.

Frostbitten Tags:

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[script-a-world]

I was wondering on how to implement addresses in my world, which takes place in an ancient society. All my historical research gives me info that's way too new in my timeline. Also, literacy rates are 99% for the imperial family and officials, 50-60% for the rich, 10-20% for everyday people.

Constablewrites: Very small villages wouldn't, because there's just not enough of either to need that kind of differentiation. Though I can't say for sure, I would guess that mail sent to someone in a very small village would be delivered to a central location, like the mayor's or a post office if the town is large enough to merit one, and from there would be distributed by someone local who knows everyone by name. That's not even an ancient thing; there are plenty of small settlements around the world,today, especially in rural and developing areas, that don't have that sort of designation.

As for larger cities, well, ancient Rome and Pompeii both had street names and house numbers. Once you got enough buildings and roads that someone might need help telling them apart, it's not a stretch to start figuring out some sort of labeling. Granted, you probably wouldn't see a unified system for labeling (like streets going one way and avenues going another, or even numbers on one side of the street and odds on the other) without government planning.

Lurelay: Or you could just avoid making up street names entirely, but the requirement is that your city's layout would have had to be planned before it was built (which is a rarity in itself).

My hometown is actually the perfect example for this:

The city center is enclosed by a circular main road that divides the inner area in four parts, thanks to two crossing main roads. One of them (the vertical one as shown in the picture) leads directly away from the castle. The four main parts are divided in equally sized building blocks.

Now here is the interesting part:

Instead of opting for street names, they made up an unique (and surprisingly easy) address system. Every block has a designated letter and number. Every row of building blocks parallel to the castle („Schloss“) has the same letter. A for the closest, K for the furthest away on the left side. And then it starts right again with L as the closest row of blocks on the right side of the castle down to U at the opposite side of the city. So A and L are closest to the castle (left and right side of the main road) and K (left) and U (right) are the furthest away.

The numbers start from 1 at the main road (on both sides this time) and the further you walk into the side streets, the higher the numbers go. So square A1 for example is the closest to the castle and main street on the left side, U6 the furthest from the castle and the main street on the right side.

So my whole life I never had to learn a single address or look at a map even once if I wanted to go somewhere in the city center.

And house numbers? Take a look at the two grey squares at the top of the picture (the big L1 and A1). They are assigned in a circular system, starting with 1 at the closest point to the castle/main road and then they circle outward and back until the highest number reaches the starting point once again.

This might sound complicated at first but it comes almost naturally once you think about it for a while. It might also be quite difficult to implement in your story (as again, a layout like this would require prior planning) but it might just give you some inspiration!

Tex: How your society develops influences how, eventually, addresses are made. Most societies develop by the creation of villages, and then eventually neighboring villages associate with each other, and then a unified, stratified society is born.

Addresses are a form of navigation, and fulfill a need created by having a complex area that someone - say, mail carriers, travelling officials, and merchants - would have trouble navigating otherwise. As Constable mentioned, small villages and similar rural areas likely wouldn't have one. Iceland, for example, functions perfectly well without one. Japan mostly follows the Roman insulae system, and they often don't need an exact address, either.

The original mailing addresses were, really, just directions - often guided by landscapes and landmarks (e.g. take a left at the big rock, walk until you hit the blacksmith's, take a right at the fountain, should be the house with the blue door), and use one central landmark as an origin point. What this origin point may be - a place of worship, communal baking ovens, a river, a well - will vary by geographic region and the priorities of the settling people. Should a place become big enough to warrant street signs, they may be named after these things (e.g. Wall Street), or after patrons.

Even if the literacy rate is low for commoners, they're likely to learn the names of their streets as part of critical vocabulary. I'm a little curious about the literacy rates for your rich - are they relying on scribes to write their correspondence? If so, many royals in the past would have been considered illiterate by modern standards, as they depended on their own scribes to write for them, often using a seal for their signatures as they would frequently be communicating in mostly official notices and correspondence that would have been double-checked by a team of scribes before sending. Language in ancient times was often used for economic, calendrical, and religious-royal functions, so there's some more good areas to pull from for street names.

Planned streets, as Lurelay discussed, are a completely different kettle of fish. They may or may not follow the Cartesian plane, especially in ancient times, but planned cities in general follow a consistent structure that may be replicated in other towns/cities. Wikipedia gives a good overview of how different countries write their addresses down - many of them have variations depending on factors such as formality, type of correspondence, and even where in the municipality that the mail is going.

[cariosum]

✏ x 5 !! topics: food, music, social thoughts ( like how they think about how some people act, ect ), literacy, && how about... uhm... style of dress !!

send ✏ for a headcanon // accepting // thank u !! goodness i have rambled. the long one is first! the others are shorter and behind the cut but hey put the in depth-ish shit first yknow

LITERACY. Alter can read, but often dislikes to. Documents that are long expanses of text or that have some kind of plot are very difficult for him to follow because he has trouble paying attention or remembering things that aren’t objectively important. He tends to lose his place in text easily, slipping over chunks of text without realizing, forgetting where he’s at, losing track of what the sentence he just read said, etc. Understandably, it’s a lot of work for him to read much of anything that doesn’t have large line breaks.

It’s much easier for Alter to read things that are bullet-pointed lists or short notes. His own diary is written in this style, largely bullet points and drawings with accompanying notes as to what the drawing is and why its subject is important to remember, rather than linear sentences about his day.

If someone reads to him, he’s better at remembering it (providing he finds it important, still), and even if he doesn’t find it important, he tends to like listening to the cadence of someone else’s voice. He’s the type to prefer audiobooks if there’s something he feels like reading. As such, if you try to give him a document and say “read it, it’s important”, he’ll either demand a verbal summary or ignore the document entirely because he knows it’s a waste of effort/energy to try and slog through a paper he’s not going to remember any of.

MUSIC. Alter doesn’t often listen to music, because it is one of many things he’s usually too apathetic to seek out. However, when he does bother having an opinion, he tends to prefer songs with a heavy bass line or synth use. He’s not really picky in terms of genre or content otherwise, though. Sometimes, when his tinninitus acts up, he’ll listen to music to distract himself from it/drown it out. That’s usually the only time he actively goes and seeks out music, though.

FOOD. Alter is beginning to get rather irritated with people often offering him food or bringing it up to him. He does what he can to remind people he doesn’t eat, doesn’t cook, and doesn’t want to do either, and yet people keep giving him food or asking him to cook. It irritates him mostly because it reminds him that he is still seen and will be seen as bargain bin sad Emiya rather than a different individual, and he is still the Inferior Emiya.... and also it’s a goddamn waste of food. That takes work to get, and there’s actual humans living in Chaldea! Give them the food, stop wasting it on people who gain nothing from eating (huffy Alter noises at the waste of food).

SOCIAL MORES. Alter understands proper social interactions, but that does not mean he feels like following its rules. He comes off as very cold, very blunt, and pretty rude just because he finds being polite usually a waste of time. He will be nice if he needs to lull someone into liking him, and he’s more likely to be polite when he’s tired. People who are overly formal to the point of not directly delivering information annoy him greatly.

Because he doesn’t bother with a lot of social niceties, Emiya comes across as a lot more angry and callous than he actually is. He is rather angry and callous, but usually not as much as he acts. It just serves to keep people from wanting to hang around and playact nice with him, which Emiya is all for discouraging.

DRESS. Alter, when told to blend in with human society and not wear his Servant garb, has exactly two modes of dress: ‘mobster in the 20s attending a highbrow formal event’, and ‘a thrift store exploded and coated some poor man in hoodies three sizes too big for him’. There is absolutely no in between. When he’s going out and actually doing things he tends to wear button-ups and suits, all fitted and made of nice fabric, and then spend his down time in three jackets, none of which fit, and sweatpants tucked into military boots. Alter is an enigma. (This also applies largely to his humanverse.) He’s either unnervingly well dressed or looks like a fabric monster pulled from a gutter. 

In all styles of clothing, Alter prefers dark colours with yellow or red accents. All of his modern (re: not his Servant garb) clothing has space for gun holsters and probably a knife or three.

His Servant outfit falls under the ‘fitted’ category, and upon inspection the fabric it’s made from is very high quality and remarkably durable, even if the coat-tail-thing is getting worse for wear around the bottom by his final ascension. That part he just can’t be arsed to care about. It’s the default outfit, so he’s just gotten used to it and become rather apathetic about its upkeep when it tends to regenerate much like everything else on his saint graph.