#gives ipre vibes

[indiepressrevolution]

Now at IPR: LGBT Longsword Glock Bat Taser

LONGSWORD. GLOCK. BAT. TASER. LONG AGO, THE FOUR LETTERS LIVED— Wait a second, wrong intro. Let's try again: 

It's 3 days to Pride, you're super gay, and also you've also got a really cool weapon. Unfortunately, Pride is gonna suck unless you and your friends can band together and give the bad vibes the boot. Whether it's helping your friend uHaul, making a cross-country dash to Pride in a jank-ass car, or summoning spirits from the beyond for a killer drag show, you've got a lot to do and not a lot of time to do it.

LGBT is a queer one-shot RPG inspired by a charming Tumblr post. You'll play a queer character with a weapon of your choice racing to make their upcoming pride celebration the best one they possibly can. Slash, Swing, Spray, and Zap your way through a variety of scenarios across a breadth of genres. 

https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/LGBT-Longsword-Glock-Bat-Taser-Print-PDF.html

[helloitsdusk]

ipre as dice

d20: magnus, because travis always rolls super good

d12: lucretia. ominous. lonely. rarely used, so always watching from the sidelines. a d12 gives off the same vibe as the song "madam director" to me

d10s: taako and lup, mostly because there are two of them. which one is the single digits and which one is the double digits? who knows. it's like asking which one is the older twin. maybe it's one of those sets that just has two of the double digit ones. who knows

d8: davenport. similar reasons to the d12, but it has a different vibe to it. the triangles are just very davenport and artificer to me

d6: merle.

d4: barry bluejeans, mostly because he died in the first arc and is also just a Normal Dude and also is a wizard

[sarcasticvoodoochild]

listening to the rwby soundtrack and applying the songs to characters from taz:b in highly specific situations :p

[asimovsideburns]

Davenport->Nate Ford

Taako->Hardison

Magnus->Eliot

Lup->Parker

Barry->Sophie

Merle->Tara

Lucretia->Chaos

No the ships don’t line up. No I will not elaborate. If you understand, you understand.

[barefootblupjeannights]

They're there when you're married, divorced, and remarried You fall out of touch, but then someone gets buried And you're right back together like no time has ever gone by Can't live with or without 'em; you might talk about 'em But if someone else does, well, then you'll knock 'em out cause When it's all said and done, they're the only ones that you got Family is family, in church or in prison You get what you get, and you don't get to pick 'em They might smoke like chimneys, but give you their kidneys Yeah, friends come in handy, but family is family

[kristiliqua]

MY TAZ AU INFO STUFF :) !!!

ok So . the ipre ! is benchtrio + sbi plus schlatt bc i needed someone to be lich barry :) fuck yea

sooo tommy and wilbur !! are the twins (the brothers) - tommy is taako and wilbur is lup :] - in Their specific dynamic . or smth . as in - no one is like . Fully a character , they have different roles n characteristics (?) from different characters n stuff -- like . tommy isnt Fully like taako , he's just like taako w the twin slash brother stuff - he's kinda more like magnus . Kinda

ranboo ! was the journal keeper :) is a cleric slash wizard (psa - i do Not know Any dnd shit , not rlly . all ik is from taz lmfao -- so if anything is inaccurate to the game , i ,,, dont care) and is a full elf ! theyre shy n nerdy like lucretia n barry , ig

tubbo is a fighter ! the protector of the group (like magnussss) :D !! isss a goat hybrid . idc if its not in dnd shhhush -- beeduo r in a queer platonic relationship :] their relationship's dynamic is similar to barry n lup's - ranboo is like barry and tubbo is like lup !

tommy is a rogueee !!! and is a decent wizard as well ! he's learnin the magics :)) - he excels in transmutation magic , which he learned Purely bc of the prank possibilities . he is Surprisingly good at it (he started learning magic bc of wilbah) -- he is a quarter elf and the rest is human bbyyy (crimeboys r biological brothers)

wilbur is a wizard :) !! (and a lich cough cough) he is learning rogue skills (haha brothers learning each other's skills haha) and is pretty okay at it . doesnt put Too much time into learning it . he is half elf n half human ! he has long pointy ears , while tommy has human sized ears that r a little pointy :)))

phil was the captain of the ipre .! he becomes the director of the bob . he is Maybe tommy n wilbur's bio father - three quarters elf n one quarter human , he is . is a magic man , wizard stuff and cleric . also is good at fighter shit too ! he's the one who erases their memories , like lucretia , w the same motivations n intentions as well :) ! (he asks ran for his journal , and bc he's the captain n ranboo trusts him , ranboo gives him the journal and ,, yea)

techno is phil's assistant in the bob !! lad's a fighter B) uhh . might be part elf or a hybrid or smth , not sure . he's called the wordless one :))) so ig he's Sorta like davenport but also Definitely Not

schlatt is lich barryyy - he's friends with wilbur . is a ram hybrid , and uhhh . is the red robe that appears thruout the arcs n stuff , aka barry . lich barry . yea

now for the more minor ish characters !!!

charlie slimecicle is roswell and instead of clay its slime . i take no arguments fuck u , its perfect

i wanted june to b someone like . correlated to charlie butttt - it ended up being crumb .! ik theyve like . Never interacted , but i feel like the vibes work , so . crumb cuptoast it is

the uhhh prophet lady in refuge is karl . for pretty obvious reasons

errr the main robber guy in refuge (idk) Could be sapnap ? or at least Implied to be sapnap ? bc why not

john slash the hunger isss eret , i think ! n ranboo is the one to talk to xem :))) umm - angus is shroud , bc why not . HURLEY N SLOANE ARE PUFFY N NIKI !!! in that order . its perfect and i take no arguments on that one

karry n killion (btw if i misspell any names then thats my bad But idc . dont point it out bc i literally couldnt give less of a shit lmao) are guqqie n aimsey !!!!! in that order :)))

umm garfield the deals warlock ? i originally made him quackity but for Reasons (that youll know very soon) he is now ted nivision !!!! and leon or whatever (the gachapon guy) is scott smajor . its the vibes , man

i did Not know who to have as johann . so i chose cpk bc he has similar vvvvibes . and uhhh i made sneeg be avi bc i could :)

juaquin is eryn !!!! we love juaquin n eryn in this household

lucas is sam , and moureen (lucas' mom) is ponk !! bc we need sam to want to save someone for crystal kingdom to happen n whatnot

noelle is clementine :) ! n kravitz is quackity . i previously made it clara but ittt just didnt fit well enough for me , so . quackiteeee it was

also the raven queen is ofc , mumza :D

klarg issss ,, henry , i guess .? its kinda eh to me but whatever idk 😭😭 he could just stay as klarg honestly

i made magic brian be billzo bc its funny . magic billzo . (that Does mean he fucking dies but um . L)

btw i had the idea for tommy to have a pet fish , like magnus w steven . and the pet fish would be named clementine and live in a magic sprite bottle (iykyk) But . noelle is clementine and unle -- IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING I GOT THE IDEA OF NOELLE BEING SHELBY NVM NOELLE IS SHELBY SHUBBLE NOW . so clementine in the sprite bottle is real now ig :]

umm - hodgepodge n upsie are both different versions of sam nook - ig sam nook is sorta just . the general base of any ai sam makes for robots - hodgepodge is sam nook: education edition and upsie is sam nook: elevator edition which is Sorta confusing bc when u shorten them its both EE but like . yea (also i realized i could make one of them fran but . i feel like neither fit so ig not)

JENKINS IS JACK MANIFOLD its perfect fuck you .!!!! benchtrio (mainly tommy ,, n tubbo) just harass him on the rockport limited lmfao

jess the beheader is beau (the beheader) !!! and i had graham the juicy wizard be replaced with scar and grian bc i wanted them somewhere in here :))) theyre the Wacky Wizard Duo (tm)

im prob forgetting some characters but errr ehhhh Whateverrrr . um - istus n pan stay the same ! same with fisher and junior :]

also id like to point out that i kept the sapphic rep as sapphic rep in this au as well . bc i think its neat B))) (didnt want to replace the rep with cishet white men shit lmaoo)

nnnnn thats it .!! uhhh - if u have suggestions feel free to give some :)) Constructive criticism , pls ! kk ty for reading B) !!!!!

also have a little additional taz crimeboys doodle for ur troubles , Smile

[comradelup]

14 fluff ipre crew... maybe davenport specifically if you want!

i tried really hard to get the dialogue (”you are my family”) in but i couldn’t make it work :-( but! i got some good good dav-centric ipre family fluff, which i hope captures the same Vibe

<><><>

Dinner on the ship is… as expected. The twins threaten the life of anyone who steps foot into the kitchen, Magnus or Merle always complain when they have to set the table, and Lucretia or Barry are always late because they both get sucked into respective projects. Davenport, who would probably disintegrate without a schedule to stick too, always gets to dinner ready and on time.

“You’re like a robot, Cap’nport,” Magnus says as they’re all sitting down. In the other room, the twins can be heard squabbling over something or other.

“At least I’m on time,” Davenport says.

“Hey! I’m not the late one!” Magnus says, pointing to Lucretia, who attempts to sink into her chair, and Barry, who rolls his eyes.

“At least I washed up,” Davenport says with a pointed look at Magnus’ hands, which are somehow covered in dirt. He hasn’t even left the ship all day, where did he find dirt?

Magnus groans and stands, marching off to the bathroom like a bratty kid. The twins emerge from the kitchen, each brandishing a dish of food with a smile as if Davenport didn’t hear distinct slapping and shoving five minutes ago.

“We present to you: lasagna,” Taako announces, placing the dish in the center of the table.

“Plus a dairy free version,” Lup says, dropping a personal sized dish in front of Barry.

“Thanks,” he says, and Lup kisses his cheek before sitting down at her own seat.

“It looks amazing as always,” Davenport says, “Thank you both.”

“Of course it does,” Taako says, serving himself a plate.

“OKAY I’M BACK!” Magnus yells, rushing back to his seat not unlike an excitable dog. He and the rest of them load their plates and begin eating.

“So what was it?” Merle asks the twins, “What were you two fighting over this time?”

Davenport largely suspects that Merle just wants to get them to fight again because he thinks it’s funny to watch— and he’s not completely wrong, not that Davenport would ever ever admit it.

Taako says, “This dullard thinks she knows more about how long to cook a lasagna, which is laughable!”

“No it isn’t!” Lup says, “I’m the one who deals with fire, I think I know more about heat then you, Mr. Transmutation.”

“For the last time: committing arson is different than cooking!”

“Isn’t arson just… bigger cooking?” Magnus asks, “Both are fire.”

“Thank you Magnus,” Lup says, “You’re my new twin brother, Taako’s out.”

Taako scoffs, loud and high pitched and offended. Yeah, Davenport’s staying out of this one. Taako declares, “Then I’m taking Creesha!”

“Please keep me out of this,” Lucretia says, looking very tired.

Actually, she looks a lot more tired than usual. She catches Davenport staring and asks, “What?”

“When did you last sleep?”

Lucretia immediately avoids his gaze with the guiltiest expression a person can have. The other five start snickering.

“Lucretia?”

“I slept last night! …Sort of.” That last part is much quieter but he still hears it.

He gives her a disapproving look. “You’re sleeping a full eight hours tonight.”

She goes back to her meal. “Fine,” she mutters, and she subtly rolls her eyes.

“Saw that,” he says, digging into his own plate.

The twins break out into full laughter. Lucretia gives them a glare and a pout over her fork.

“I dunno why we call you Cap’nport, Cap’nport,” Magnus says, “You’re more parent than captain.”

Lup snorts. “Dad’nport.”

Magnus gasps. “Dad’nport!”

Soon enough, to no one’s surprise, the two of them are chanting, “Dad’nport! Dad’nport! Dad’nport!”

“I mean, if you want to call yourselves children, I wouldn’t disagree,” Davenport says.

Taako snorts. “Me ‘n Lup are older than you.”

“Really? Then why don’t you act like it?” Davenport deadpans.

Everyone else but the two of them laugh at that. Taako sends a glare his way, though Davenport can tell there’s no malice behind it. A lot of annoyance, maybe, but no malice. He smiles.

The meal continues with similar teasing and familiar pouting. And… if they want him acting like a parent, then…

“After we’re done I want Magnus and Barry doing the dishes. And Lucretia? Go to bed.”

Magnus groans. “Why me?”

“Because the twins cooked.”

“And Merle isn’t allowed back in my kitchen!” Taako announces. He glares at Merle and hisses, “You know what you did.”

Merle shrugs, not looking at all regretful. Davenport doesn’t even want to know. These kids are gonna drive him crazy one of these days.

[daughterofsarenrae]

taz botw au

Lup wakes up in the Shrine of Resurrection with no memories to the sound of a painfully familiar voice calling out to her, telling her it’s time to wake up. She has no idea what’s going on, but she’s Lup. She’ll figure it out on her own. Even though she’s pretty sure she’s not supposed to be alone. 

Lup roams the Great Plateau, completing shrine quests and getting runes for her IPRE Slate, at the insistence of a strange old man. When she climbs to the top of the Temple of Time, the old man reveals himself to be none other than King Merle Highchurch, the last king of Hyrule. He explains to her the basics of what’s going on- Prince Taako used his magic to trap The Hunger inside Hyrule Castle, but he has been trapped there as well. Lup... almost died? maybe did die? And Taako’s last act before trapping the Hunger was carrying Lup to the Shrine so she could survive. King Highchurch asks that Lup travel to the Castle to save Taako and the rest of Hyrule by defeating the Hunger. He gives Lup a paraglider and disappears.

Lup looks at the castle, which is surrounded by black and red malicious seeming smoke. She looks at what she’s carrying. Her armor right now consists of a warm shirt and some ratty pants. 75% of her weapon arsenal is tree branches. She has no memories. Lup decides not to go to the castle right now. 

She eventually makes her way to Kakariko Village and speaks to Lucretia, the elder of the village. Lucretia is surprised that Lup doesn’t remember her or...anything else, really, and explains in more detail than Merle did. Lucretia sends Lup to Hateno Village, to find a lab.

In this lab, Lup finds Angus, who at first seemed to be a child, but was later revealed to be just as old as Lucretia. He has devoted his life to study, and he is very eager to help Lup remember her past. 

Lup wanders the world, completing shrines, climbing towers, eventually making her way to free the divine beasts. During this quest she meets the spirits of the former champions who fell 100 years ago.

There’s Sildar (”Please just call me Barry...”), the Zora, who (luckily for Lup), acts just as flustered around her as she does around him. Sildar’s grace brings Lup back from the dead, should she fall. Barry insists that he is happy to help, but insists that she avoid dying in the first place. He seems pretty put out that Lup doesn’t really remember him, and encourages her to try to recover her memories.

There’s Kravitz, the Rito, and he’s...kind of a jerk, in Lup’s opinion. Kravitz’s Gale lets Lup...jump super high? Whatever. Lup preferred Barry. The two do have a heart to heart after Lup frees his divine beast, and turns out Kravitz is just really worried about Taako, and he blames himself for dying, and seeing Lup again has reopened those old wounds (do ghosts have wounds??). Lup says whatever dude, we all have trauma. Things are slightly better between them. Lup still is slightly antagonistic towards him though, just to keep things fresh. He WAS supposedly dating the twin she doesn’t remember having, after all. Can’t let him off easy.

Magnus, the Goron, is much easier to get along with. Magnus’s Protection helps shield Lup from even the strongest hits, and Lup is very thankful for that. Magnus and Lup immediately vibe together, despite Lup not remembering him. 

Davenport, the Gerudo, is the last champion Lup meets. Davenport’s Fury lets her make a super powerful attack with lighting which, super cool, in Lup’s opinion. (Would’ve been cooler if it was fire but, whatever.) Davenport is definitely not what Lup pictured when imagining a Gerudo champion, but Davenport doesn’t seem to care about expectations. He, moreso than the rest of the Champions, feels responsible for what happened 100 years ago. 

Lup continues wandering around Hyrule, catching horses (and naming them all Garyl, for some reason), helping people with their mundane problems, getting attacked by the Yiga Clan incessantly, and stumbling upon a super sad Rito named Johann who always seems to be standing in the weirdest places, playing his violin, giving Lup quest hooks to follow. She slowly regains her memories until, at last, she’s ready to take on The Hunger and save her brother. Armed with the Master Sword and the Hylian Shield, she mounts her attack on The Hunger.

She wins, of course. Lup is a badass.

And then they live happily ever after... or, well. ��Live” might be stretching things a little bit. There is the whole thing about how Kravitz, Barry, Magnus, Merle and Davenport are all ghosts. Barry has a plan, though, and he consults with Angus about modifications to Sildar’s Grace. They’re not quite alive anymore in the traditional sense, but it’s better than being ghosts. Barry and Lup smooch. Taako and Kravitz smooch. everyone is happy.

“Well...what now?” Lup asks.

“I think it’s my turn for a 100 year nap,” says Taako. 

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Untamed TAZ Balance AU? Don't have to write anything, just consider that (is Wen Ning Lucretia in this or is he too nice for that)

NHS IS LUCRETIA, NHS IS ABSOLUTELY LUCRETIA, I HAVE THOUGHTS, my girlfriend yelled at me for these thoughts.  Hell this got long, I’ve literally been saving it in my drafts until Tumblr fixed the Read More issue.

WWX is Taako, JC is Magnus, WQ is Merle, JYL is in the umbrella (became a lich to keep her brother from doing it), WN is the Red Robe (became a lich because he thought it seemed reasonable), NHS is Lucretia, XXC is Davenport, LWJ and LXC are mutually Kravitz (LXC sets his bro up with the death criminal wizard), Wen Zhuliu is John Vore, LSZ is Angus but also a baby Reaper

ONE

So Wei Wuxian isn’t really a wizard, is the thing.  Like, he does the wizard magic, and apparently he has strong Wizard Vibes because wherever he travels, people ask him if he can solve their magical bullshit problems, but he’s, like, barely a wizard.  He’s an inventor, technically, except that a few years back some stuff went explosively awry while he worked with this traveling show and–yeah.  So he’s working as a wizard because, hey, he can cast Magic Missile and he needs to eat and he’s an Evocation specialist, anyway, so it’s not like he’s out here making food from rocks.  He’s hired on with a couple other random jackasses, a fighter who took a dislike to Wei Wuxian right off the bat and a cleric with a bad temper and an itchy Sacred Flame finger, and they’re doing a job for some dwarf, or whatever.  The dwarf has a guy hired on as muscle, but he doesn’t look like much, all wide eyes and baby face.  He calls himself Qionglin, no last name, and stares at Wen Qing like he’s never seen a cleric before, and Jiang Cheng spends the entire trip to Phandolin messing with his whip, which is the stupidest weapon Wei Wuxian has ever seen.

Well, then everything immediately goes horribly wrong, though, and turns out that Jiang Cheng is pretty okay with that whip.  Qionglin (Wei Wuxian spoke to the man all of one time, but he was sweet, if a little awkward) gets himself kidnapped by a bunch of goblins, and their employer is gods-know-where with whatever a Black Spider is, and suddenly this very boring escort mission is a very not boring rescue mission.

There’s a skeleton in the cave.  Wei Wuxian takes an umbrella from it, and it crumbles into dust beneath its red robe.  There’s a very annoyed man with a sword who calls himself Song Lan and speaks in static, and he’s somehow not the weirdest part of this whole day.

Phandolin doesn’t survive its brush with the Zidian Gauntlet, and neither does Qionglin.  Wen Qing screams when he dies, and Wei Wuxian grabs her under the arms with Jiang Cheng and books it for the empty well in Song Lan’s wake, and they just hide.  

And then they go to the goddamn moon, apparently.

TWO

The goddamn moon is run by an older man with hair still a glossy black, toying with a beautifully painted white fan in his hand.  He calls himself the Director and–after some testing–hires them more or less on the spot.  Something flickers over his face when Wen Qing, bemused by her own upset, makes an offhand mention of a man named Qionglin who died when the Gauntlet brought down so much lightning that it turned Phandolin into black glass.  But it’s not Wei Wuxian’s problem, so he doesn’t worry himself over it too much.  He takes the payment offered to him by the Director’s aide, a blindfolded, stunningly handsome man in Bureau blue and white who rests his hand on his own chest and says “Xiao Xingchen” and not another word.

The Bureau is–weird.  They’ve got a giant jellyfish and a store run by–something Wei Wuxian Does Not Trust and a dorm.  Wei Wuxian laughs and kicks Jiang Cheng cheerfully in the ankle and says “Just like college, huh?” and Jiang Cheng gives him a dark look and snaps “I never went to college.”

“Yeah,” Wei Wuxian says, blinking.  “Me neither.”

Whatever.  They go on a train adventure and there’s a kid, a kid who blinks and stares at Wei Wuxian like he’s seen a goddamn ghost and immediately walks up to introduce himself as Lan Sizhui, boy detective.

Wei Wuxian fucking loves this kid.  He’s not sure why this wide-eyed fifteen-year-old latched onto him so hard, but he’s smart, funny, loyal, and extremely easy to pick on.  13/10 child rating, in Wei Wuxian’s book.

(Sizhui, for his part, more or less kicks down the door to his father’s offices in the Astral Plane the second the Reclaimers are gone and shouts “I HAVE A LEAD ON WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WORLD.”)

(His father, Lan Wangji, the Grim Reaper, is very interested to hear all about it–especially when his son casually name-drops three of the biggest bounties that the Raven King, his adoptive elder brother, has ever sent him after, with the exception of that absolutely insufferably sweet-tempered lich Wen Ning.)

THREE

So…the Crystal Kingdom.

Is it Wei Wuxian’s finest hour, shouting obscure tentacle-related threats at the second crystal construct they’ve seen in the past twenty minutes?  No, probably not.  But it’s been a stressful day, they’re already down one Regulator and Song Lan is fuck-knows-where with Mianmian and, again, this is the second menacing crystal construct they’ve seen in twenty minutes.  Or maybe it’s the same one? 

Whatever, doesn’t matter.  They’re here to hunt down Meng Yao, a scientist who’s been dicking around with some seriously ill-advised necromancy and also the Philosopher’s Stone, and a crystal construct or two isn’t going to stop them.

Wei Wuxian actually physically cannot help himself, though, when the Reapers appear in the mirror, a matched set of beautiful men, and he grins broadly at the one glaring at him most viciously.  They get let go on a technicality, along with a conduit still containing Meng Shi’s memory of a vision beyond the cosmos, and Meng Yao leaves with his life and not much more.

Later, Lan Wangji is absolutely betrayed by the realization that his brother willfully set him up to be the primary go-between for the completely breathtaking deeply irritating wizard-by-way-of-death-criminal.  And that’s before the whole lich revelation.  (He does get a kiss, though, after he watches his brother pulled under by the Hunger.  That’s nice.  He hopes Wei Wuxian will mitigate the death crimes now that they’re dating.)

FOUR

The seven Relics are as follows:

The Zidian Gauntlet, which can generate a lightning blast so powerful that it can obliterate an entire city.  (Jiang Cheng–he watched the others try to lay in protections, try to make their Relics harmless, and he knew it wouldn’t work.  All the Gauntlet does is damage.  It can melt a city down to black glass, but it can’t be twisted, it can’t be made into any more of a nightmare than it already is.  He’s a fighter.  He knows all about damage, knew all about what he was making.  That doesn’t mean it didn’t kill him by inches to watch it leave a path of destruction–so much that his beloved jiejie tried to seal it away.)

The Oculus, which can make any construct real.  (Xiao Xingchen–Nie Huaisang didn’t take everything.  He doesn’t remember the mission, or his own past.  Something strange got confused in the process, and he lost most of his speech.  But he remembers how to fight, handles his sword as cleanly and effectively as ever, and he remembers that he doesn’t think much of Nie Huaisang’s combat skills.  Or maybe it’s just really obvious that Nie Huaisang isn’t much of a fighter.  Regardless, Xiao Xingchen insisted on accompanying him, before–before.  Then they went into the Felicity Wilds, and…Xue Yang is honestly delighted.  He’s never managed to ruin someone so badly on the way into Wonderland before.  It’s just a shame that Nie Huaisang sent Xiao Xingchen away before they reached the doors.)

The Healer’s Sash, which can manipulate natural forces like the wind, the tides, and tectonic plates just as easily as it can manipulate a heartbeat or a pair of lungs.  (Wen Qing–she prays to Pelor, the Dawnfather, the healer and Lord of Light, but she’s long since lost her faith in him as anything but a contracted boss.  It’s a shock to everyone including her when she’s granted a right arm made of glass and magic after losing it.  She was so determined to make a Relic that could be used for good, but–well.  She supposes she should have known better.)

The Philosopher’s Stone, which can more or less transform anything into anything.  (Jiang Yanli–she’s a Transmutation wizard, she’s been feeding the crew of the Starblaster for a hundred years on whatever she can pull together.  If the right person found the Stone, it would have ended world hunger.  The wrong person found the stone.  Jiang Yanli tried her damnedest to hunt it down, but she found the Gauntlet first, and, well–she already became a lich to stop one younger brother from doing it.  It’s not a struggle to decide that she’s going to take responsibility for saving Jiang Cheng from his own guilt.  Then things go horribly wrong, and she spends the next twelve years in an umbrella.)

The Temporal Chalice, which offers complete control over time.  (Wen Ning–he was a strict scholar until his sister was contacted about the IPRE’s creation, but he always did want to travel, and his theories about bonds were too good for Xiao Xingchen to pass up having on his crew.  Everything he’s done since they lost their home system has been about trying not to leave his family, about trying for second chances, he became a lich for them, he’s done everything to stay with them, of course his Relic is a second chance generator.)

The Animus Flute, which offers control over the spirits of the dead and, in the hands of a sufficiently competent expert, the living.  (Wei Wuxian–he’s watched his brother, his sister, his friends, die so many times.  He’s terrified of immortality, but he’s most terrified of being alone.  He meant to make something that could keep the dead present, so that they would never have to fear being left behind again.  Watching it rip Jiang Cheng’s soul clean out of his body in Xue Yang’s hands is the worst thing Wei Wuxian can remember, even after everything is over.)

The Bulwark, which Nie Huaisang never did explain to anyone, but took the shape of a hand-painted fan.  (Nie Huaisang lost the only person who mattered to him when the Hunger ate their home, and then as he slowly, painstakingly, rebuilt something like a family, he had to watch them suffer and die for a hundred years.  And then he watched them win, and grieve like dying all over again for the winning.  He’s sorry they suffered for his actions.  He’s not sorry for what he did.)

FIVE

Wen Zhuliu didn’t mean to make his whole plane give up.  But he had spent his whole life being used, and it all just seemed so pointless.  It all just seemed so pointless.  There was always someone stronger, always something bigger, always a rule he couldn’t break, always something, and he started talking, started telling people as much, and--

Wen Qing is about the farthest thing in the fucking world from a peacemaker by nature, if you ask her, but she’s a healer first, last, and most of all.  And, she thinks as she watches the sun sink with a very tired man crumbling away at her side, she might be the only person in the worlds who ever noticed that Wen Zhuliu needed a healer.

(They aren’t from the same plane, but--some of the others have found distant family, on their new home.  It’s an unanswerable question, if they might have been family, a few dimensions removed.  Wen Ning still thinks about it.)

[mspainttaz]

Why did you give Taako a mullet?

answers that could be the answer but arent the real answer which was “why not also he looks rocking like this”:

1. its a common and popular hairstyle on twosun

2. its a common and popular hairstyle on one or more of the planes

3. i was bugged by the idea that long pretty hair would get the flattened Hat Hair look from taakos wizard hat and thought that he might put long hair up into a half-top bun. this way the part inside his hat doesnt get in his face and also doesnt get the hat hair dent, 

one day lup or someone sends a fireball his way and he ducks in time to have a face stlll but not fast enough to not get the top of his hat/head scorched. you know what happens if you put your hair half up and then cut it off? mullet. 

4. mid life crisis 

5. running for your life and knowing that you get a guaranteed reset on your hair cut/style means experimenting

6. running for your life and knowing that you get a guaranteed reset on your hair cut/style means honestly not having the spoons to care about doing much except hack your hair occasionally, so constant awkward growing out stage for all of the ipre crew 

7. a lot of this was me being frustrated over just. not vibing with long hair taako especially with my personal headcanons about taako being very practical, and trying new things until i found the mullet truth

8. i like drawing both short and long hair

9. graphic novel barry has a mullet and so points 1,2, and 4 include him

10. barry and taako mullet solidarity

11. it makes me feel powerful that ive drawn taako disheveled, mulleted, and completely done with everything,

and several people have loudly and emphatically said “thats hot oh no”

[jzixuans]

Omg yesterday I forgot to show you Travis’ StolenCentury!Magnus and let me tell you, it is literally everything I’ve ever wanted in my whole life, and now I present: Magnus

and bonus photo of all of them before the show:

Now, see, I have Much to say about this. First of all about the pic of Magnus on his own: the boots?? The chain??? The giant gold lettering spelling out his name???? The aviator glasses that lowkey give me Gloria Steinem vibes????? The gloves?????? The pose. And then of course, the centerpiece of it all, the red bomber jacket complete with an IPRE patch which I covet greatly (though I’d like to point out that, hilariously enough, the patches they have do not match the same logo for sale on their website 😂)

Okay and then some things about the second photo, and I’m so sorry this is so very long but; Taako has completely disregarded the IPRE altogether and is actually wearing a BoB bracer instead, but makes up for it with the fantastic blonde wig, so I can hardly be mad. Merle has an eyepatch, though he hasn’t lost his eye yet, but the man is in the most epic robe-jacket combo in the most brilliant red, so again, how could anyone fault this man. Special bonus points for L’il Smusher at his hip. And finally Griffin. Hey bud i think you’re lost, this is Not the grocery store-

blink: omg these are fantastic i can’t believe i’ve never seen these before

[herbgerblin]

I can’t wait to watch the Soldier Poet King music video, but now I can’t help but to think of Kravitz when listening to Where Is Your Rider? (Also by The Oh Hellos). Also Lup gives me Bitter Water vibes? But that might just be me. And Taako @ Lucretia post-baby-inoculation is Dear Wormwood. And Thus Always to Tyrants is a Seven Birds (during the epilogue) song. Idk I just love The Oh Hellos and that album is so kickass and you’ve started the TAZ brain.

Fam, all those takes are so righteous! Also you’ve unlocked the part of my brain that’s been obsessed with the “Dear Wormwood” album for months. It’s the same part that thinks, “You can think about these things, but don’t act on them because then people will think you overthink everything.” Which I do. But ya’ll don’t need to know that.

These are the songs I’ve given the most thought about. I’m keeping thoughts and drawings under read more because this is kinda long:

Where is your Rider — Kravitz. Hell yeah

Bitter Water —Magnus and Julia

Okay, consider: Starts with Magnus standing by a water’s edge, he’s in the prime of his life. Julia taps on his shoulder and he turns around. In fleeting moment, she’s gone. And in the next moment, it’s a century later, and Magnus surrounded by the ipre, by Angus, by his dogs, by the hundreds of aspects of his life that he’s built around himself. He’s younger and older, it changes with each lyric.

During the musical interlude, we see him building something literally, with the aid of people around him. When the music crescendos, we see a big beautiful house, with everyone bursting with life around it. People hanging out on the porch, people picnicking in the front yard. Some of them look older, some of them have hardly changed at all. Magnus looks around, satisfied.

At the last, “I know I shouldn’t love you, but I do” it flashes white to Magnus once again, standing by the water’s edge. But it’s the astral sea, and Julia is there again, to tap on his shoulder and lead them back to their home. Their forever home.

Pale White Horse — Four horsemen, but it’s the reaper squad 

(plus Taako, because let’s be real here) This one is harder to explain with words, so imma use pictures:

[ID: Speedpaint of a red robe surrounded by a raging fire. She is also aflame. End Id]

[ID: Speedpaint of a red robe holding up a boney hand to shush. His head is haloed in black and purple. End ID]

[ID:Speedpaint of the grim reaper extending on arm and holding a raven skull scythe across their shoulder. The background is reminiscent of jail bars. End Id]

[Id: Speedpaint of Taako, wearing long robes, crouching beside a wagon, the surrounding area looking abandoned and ominous. There is snow falling. End ID]

The rest of them: I have The Vibe™ I just don’t have a clear image in my mind

[firstmatedville]

I'm gonna jot down some random taz balance headcanons I have because. wow I'm rlly hyperfixating on this again huh (i cant actually remember how canon complaint these are tho ngl)

- the two-sun planet is closer to our world regarding modern fashions whilst faerun has the whole Generic Fatasy Medieval aesthetic but they both have similarities to our technology in different ways

- taako and lup grew up during what was essentially the fantasy 80s and both went through so many damn phases

- taako had like. A minor "goth" phase during his elf equivalent of teenage years and lup still gives him shit for stealing her vibe

- as much as I like the idea of taako having an entire wardrobe of hats that's just not practical when you're travelling All The Time so he like. Uses magic to make the one single hat he's owned since before he joined the IPRE match whatever outfit he's wearing

- everyone on the starblaster fully took advantage of resetting every year to fuck with their appearances as much as possible but taako and lup generally kept matching (or mostly matching) hair colours

- bleaching his hair (didn't trust his magic so he did it manually) was part of taakos "oh fuck time to run away from just killing a bunch of people" mental breakdown/disguise (he also cut himself bangs and cried the whole time) but he ended up keeping it apart from minor changes here and there

- after story and song and getting a body back lup also bleached her hair uwu

[redlichbluelich]

MUSE SOCIAL MEDIA HABITS. (primarily geared toward if they used twitter but change as necessary!)

are they locked or unlocked?: he’s got an unlocked account for a generic public persona, networking, and linking to the multi-day ““cooking”” livestreams he does with taako where they try to make those horrible joke DIY food videos into something edible. and then a locked account where he dumps necromancy stuff and only the other birds are allowed to follow it

their icon: unlocked: a decent but slightly-too-close photo of his face locked: the skull of something that doesn’t exist on this plane

their header image: unlocked: ipre logo, but uploaded at a size which was not at all big enough for a banner locked: just a straight up high res denim texture banner, to antagonize the people around him

their display name: unlocked: @/barrybluejeans, “Barry J. Bluejeans” locked: @/jecromancy, “bones bones bones! let me see your bo”

their description: locked: “every day’s a good day for things generally considered evil”

what do they post?: “treat skeletons the way youd want to be treated when you die: give em cool swords”

“dont bother reading oltozoromath’s books, i dont know if he published any books for stuff outside of necromancy, but his necromancy stuff at least is bullshit and i wouldn’t trust anything else he writes”

“still working on that problem of getting skeleton birds to fly”

“who wants to come with me to a cult meeting, it seems pretty legit but im also getting vibes they might only be open to ‘newcomers’ so they can get new sacrifices for their evil god or w/e”

“angus found my account and sent me a follow request again. fuck”

[adventuresloane]

Lup, Raven Queen, Barry, Ango and totally Ren. ;) maybe sloane also! For the HC meme❤️

(for this meme)

Kat this is……SO many oh my lord. I’m gonna put most of theseunder a cut!!!  You’re a doll tho thanksfor all the asks.

Lup:

A) What I think realistically: I love the idea that,contrary to popular belief, she’s the younger twin! When they were kids, Taakowould always be the one who had to get her out of the trouble she got herselfinto. Taako’s always been a bit more pragmatic, but Lup just couldn’t standdisrespect towards her or her brother and would always address it. She stood upto people and probably bit off more than she could chew a number of times,meaning Taako had to help her out of a tight spot.

B) What is fucking hilarious to me: Lup at one point had apretty major crisis in her life because she loves to cook for people anddesperately wanted to show her affection for Barry by cooking for him, but.This man has lived off late-night hot pockets out of his laboratory microwavefor years. He doesn’t have a palette. One time she overheard him call ketchupspicy and she just kind of stared at the wall for five minutes. She spent manyan evening slaving over recipe books to try to find SOMETHING decent that thisuncultured man would actually enjoy.

C) What is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict onfriends: She’s got…a number of lingering issues after her release from theumbrella. There’s a lot of talk about how she develops claustrophobia, andwhile I think that’s certainly true, I think another thing that leaves hershaken is the utter darkness inside the staff. Before she was able to get herpowers back to create fire, the darkness in there must have been absolute andchilling. Imagine how long she lay there entirely blind and unable to make outanything. I don’t think she can sleep with the lights off anymore. She alwaysat least leaves the hall light on outside the bedroom, but even that’s notenough much of the time, and she often plays with a little fireball in herhands until she can’t keep her eyes open anymore, so that she knows there’sstill light where she is.

D) What would never work with canon but the canon is shit soI believe it anyway: Griffin says that the Legato performance was the firsttime the rest of the IPRE crew realized that Barry and Lup were in love butcome the fuck on. These guys??? They’re so incredibly obvious and crazy foreach other. Even if they didn’t tell their family explicitly EVERYONE knew forYEARS.

Raven Queen

A) Every raven in Faerun is at her beck and call. The birdshave a bit of magic to them inherently and find it easy to slip from plane toplane. She’ll dispatch them to carry messages or keep an eye on things for herand report back. She VERY rarely comes to the mortal planes, but you can alwaystell when she’s on her way. Thousands of ravens circle together tightly in thesky, their iridescent wings shining, and from the almost blinding andotherworldly shimmer a portal forms through which she comes.

B) Has motherly instincts towards Kravitz but no concept ofwhat being a parent to a former mortal actually entails. At what age does onestop picking up mortal children? 35? Her idea of mother-son bonding is enactinga blood oath. She’s trying her best.

C) Kravitz became her “ward” of sorts when he begged andprayed to her for months on end to spare his sick mother and take his lifeinstead—he made a brave trade and she respected him for it, hence his positionas a reaper.

D) She grants Magnus a “limited” amount of extra time livinghappily with Julia in the afterlife but honestly do you think she’ll ever makethem stop living in that little cabin? Heck, do you really think she’s going tokeep their friends from leaving the sea of souls to visit them whenever???She’s willing to turn a blind eye to their little party for the rest ofeternity.

Barry

A) He is just……so visibly huggable tbh. You look at him andyou’re like, “That’s a man who’d be good to just hug for a little while. Chubbysoft belly. Just a teddy bear of a man.

B) The boy is a classic academic research scientist, whichis to say a damn mess. He’ll periodically crop his hair short but then won’tbother to get it cut again for months on end because he’s too busy, so it growsout all wild and looks a mess. He has one (1) mug he keeps on his desk and likenever washes because it’s always filled with coffee anyway. Shows up to work ina stained T-shirt because it’s not like anyone’s paying attention to him whenhe’s locked up in his lab all day anyway. Grody science man.

C) Next to Taako, he’s the one who takes the longest toforgive Lucretia, and I sort of think he never completely gets over what shedid. Unlike everyone else in the IPRE crew, he was deliberately isolated fromthe rest of his family AND HE WAS AWARE OF IT. That’s fucked up, and he learnedto hate Lucretia for awhile, and that’s not the kind of thing that can beerased as soon as Story & Song is over. He can barely look her in the eyefor awhile.

D) He does NOT have a mullet do not to my boy dirty likethis.

Angus

A) All this debate over Magnus or Taako or Lucretia orwhoever the fuck adopts Angus post-S&S? Screw that noise. It’s not like anyof the adult figures in his life AREN’T walking disasters as individuals—it’sonly together that they’re sort of capable of functioning. That’s why he haslike twenty parents and splits his time between like five different houses,inside each of which he has his own room and where he is welcome at all hoursof the day and night. That kid is living the dream.

B) Absolutely drops f-bombs on purpose knowing that it willscandalize the adults he talks to. This boy is a delight and has never doneanything wrong but he is NOT the innocent little one everyone thinks! Sneakyboy!

C) Gotta be honest, I don’t have the heart to actuallyimagine Angus having any suffering inflicted upon him, BUT I do like the ideaof Taako being lowkey terrified every time he goes off on his own/tries toconduct an investigation that has a chance of being dangerous. He tries not toshow it and definitely plays it cool when Angus comes back safe every time, buthe’s got so very few people he feels really connected to and he doesn’t want tolose one of them (again).

D) Controversial, but he remains a shrimpy nerdboy foreverand does not get to be buffer than Magnus sorry.

Ren

A) Hot take: she’s a soft butch. My evidence? I know a bunchof butches named Ren and also she just gives off those Lesbian Vibes. Butch Ren2k19.

B) She is…small. Just so short, even by the standards ofelves, which are on average smaller than humans. It might be partly because she’sa Drow, since I personally headcanon that they don’t grow quite as big, buteven then she’s just. A little creacher. She has to use a spoon to knock downthings from shelves that everyone else in the tavern can easily reach. Cassidyjokingly uses her head as an armrest.

C) Her family is definitely still around and definitely wereoutside of Refuge when the barrier was created around the town and they justhad no way whatsoever of contacting her. They aged while time didn’t touch her.

D) This is more in opposition to D&D lore than to theTAZ canon, but I personally don’t like to think that Ren ever faced anyprejudice for being a dark elf. The whole idea of the Drow being cursed and 99%of them being evil is, imo, very tired (not to mention racist), so I just don’twant that being a part of her story. I think maybe Underdark elves have a bitof a reputation in the surface realms for being kind of staid and dour, so inthat way Ren defies some conventions by being her bubbly self. But aside fromthat, she never had an issue with anyone thinking less of her or hating her forbeing a Drow.

And fuck it, I know I did Sloane already but I have gothbirb headcanons coming out of my ass so I’ll do her again.

A) Tbh I like to think that her alias is something she put alot of thought into and something she identifies really strongly with. Like,ravens are obviously just objectively cool and fit the goth aesthetic she’sgoing for, but also I think growing up in Goldcliff (which I picture as beingjust like the American Southwest) she had a lot of experience observing themand felt kind of a kinship with them (and probably fed them to get them tofollow her around tbh). In some folklore, ravens are considered shapeshifterson account of how the sun reflects off their wings and makes them look likethey’re changing shape. I think that by assuming the persona of the Raven, shebecomes something more than what she appears to be, and it’s a bit of escapismfor her. (Also, ravens are known to be family-oriented and mate for life sothat proves fitting later on…)

B) It kinda breaks my heart whenever people draw her (orhalf-elves in general) with shorter/smaller ears than full-blooded elves,because in my head hers are long and twitchy! She’s pretty good at hiding howshe feels and not giving away too much with her body language, so her ears don’tnecessarily move around a ton to express how she’s feeling, but they doinvoluntarily react to sound, e.g. perking up when she hears a sudden noise.Hurley finds this adorable and exploits it to no end—like snapping her fingersnext to one of Sloane’s ears and then the other to make them pique alternatelyuntil Sloane finally gets fed up.

C) This is kind of more of a headcanon for half-elves ingeneral, but I remember seeing a post awhile back that said something along thelines of “D&D cryptid: a half-elf with a good relationship with theirfamily.” It was funny, but it did get me thinking: what’s a good narrativejustification for this? One of the answers, I think, is that half-elves grow ata rate that must be completely bewildering for their elven parents. They reachmaturity at around 20, compared to a full-blooded elf becoming an adult ataround 100. There’s probably a lot of potential for friction there as elvenparents are unable to handle or understand their kids as they mature soquickly. Plus, most half-elves don’t outlive their elf parents, and knowing you’remore than likely going to bury your kid one day has got to be hard. I think allof this was sort of the situation for Sloane growing up, and it was the sourceof a lot of the isolation she felt as a child.

D) She has big biker energy and actually prefers motorcyclesto battlewagons and that’s the tea.

LAWD this was a lot. Hope you like them!!!

[novantinuum]

HEY all my friends who like both Gravity Falls and TAZ!

Please take a moment with me to imagine...

Ford traveling alongside the crew of the Starblaster for a few cycles.

Suppose they run into (an older, slightly greyed) Ford early into their journey, sometime after the first time they tried to take another person out of the material plane with them. They meet in a plane otherwise uninhabited by humans, so it’s pretty obvious that he’s like them- not of this world. And he’s got far more experience hopping dimensions than they do. They swap information, and end up allied after meeting during this initial cycle.

Ford goes ape shit over Lucretia’s beautiful journals, and the sheer scope of her records. Out of everyone, I think he gets along best with her. He also has a good rapport with Barry, them both being very scientifically minded. Merle, Magnus, and Davenport get along with him fine- although I think it takes a bit for Davenport to fully trust him, and Magnus gives Ford a few Stanley vibes, which leaves him with somber thoughts at times. After knowing him for just a few minutes, Lup is quick to label him as “another huge fucking nerd,” but over time regards him with fondness. It’s Taako he can never quite put a finger on- who’s a bit more aloof than the others.

But anyways, it’s only a few weeks after they all meet that the Hunger descends on this plane. And with no sighting of the light this cycle, there’s nothing they can do but escape on the Starblaster. They bring Ford on the ship too, some of them still blindly hopeful despite what happened last time that maybe they could rescue him too. Davenport is doubtful it’ll work.

And yet, somehow, it... does??

The seven of them reset as expected, and Ford remains on the bridge, utterly fascinated by the sights he just witnessed. Later, they realize the reason Ford is able to stick around on the ship when they leave the material plane is that- as a dimensional traveler himself- he isn’t tethered to any of the worlds they set foot on. So he stays at their side through a few cycles, finding it refreshing to travel along friends for once, and also finding himself incredibly intrigued by the thought of the ‘light of creation’ they’ve described- he’d LOVE to observe and study it. Also, when it comes to the Hunger, he more than understands their motivation to stop it. (In fact, after being introduced to this vast cosmic antagonist, he almost laughs at how puny Bill Cipher seems in comparison.)

Of course, the main problem with him traveling with these seven is that if they die, they reset at the end of the year. Ford? Not so much. He ages normally all throughout the handful of cycles he spends with them, while the rest of them age in only mind. And if he is left behind for whatever reason? There’s no turning around to pick him back up.

A few housekeeping notes:

On Bill Cipher vs the Hunger, Ford genuinely is terrified by the threat the Hunger poses and by the end of it his problem with Bill kinda pales in comparison. See, Bill Cipher is a single entity trying to break into the material plane of Ford’s dimension- using the ethereal plane as a go-between. (Ethereal plane= what Ford calls the mindscape, I imagine.) But the hunger? Is LARGER than all the planes combined. It threatens all of reality, whereas Bill is only an immediate threat to his world. In a way, all of this actually encourages him in his quest to defeat the demon- after all, he’s combatted worse.

When it comes to dimensional travel, Ford and the crew of the Starblaster achieve it in two different ways. I imagine every “dimension” contains its own separate set of planes. Ford travels directly between material planes of these dimensions using natural rifts and fissures, and occasionally via portal jump device. (I like to think he has a rudimentary portal gun he can use to emergency jump to a new, random dimension at this point in his travels.) Team IPRE, however, lift up and completely out of the material plane before traveling to a new, random dimension. They don’t know about Ford’s method of travel until they meet him. I imagine they could break out of the cycles whenever they wanted by passing through a natural rift, but none of them want to leave each other, and they’re all dead set on stopping the Hunger.

In the end, Ford’s accidentally left behind one cycle and they never pass paths ever again. They failed to reclaim the light of creation this time around, and the Hunger began to consume the world they were on. Barry- who was on post on the ship at the time- lifted off, even though everyone else was planet-side. (Only one has to leave the plane to save the rest, of course.) He didn’t want to leave Ford, but knew if he stayed any longer they’d ALL die here. Ford and the others all fight as long as they can, but it becomes pretty obvious to him pretty fast that he’s gonna die if he doesn’t escape. Everyone else will reset. He won’t. So he opens a portal, glancing back at the others once...

And he escapes.

Alive.

To a dimension where he doesn’t have to worry about the Hunger- no light of creation, no Hunger. But he still sometimes has nightmares about eyes appearing in the night sky- for multiple reasons, now.

Years later, there’s one other occasion where he comes across a dimension where he sees a brilliant light fall on the planet and eyes erupt in the sky one day, and he fights between the idea of scouring the planet for the Starblaster and instantly running to the next dimension in fear of what he knows is coming.

He still wonders how they’re doing, sometimes.

He hopes- for the sake of all reality- that one day they’ll win.