#give people the grace to change
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the whole dokibird situation being blown up as it is, is wild to me that fact that the public knows there is documents existing is the fucked up thing imo like obvs dokibird was going through some shit even if it just turned out to be mental health shit, we (the public) shouldnt know that documents exist like this. out of all the issues this one thing is the most tangible thing that is a problem to me, it really highlights nijisanjis fucked up communication. i really hate the speculation type bs bc there are real people behind those vtuber models and borked pr statements or w/e you want to call them. sorting out whats what through lawyers wouldve been better for literally everyone in the situation. they're basically fancy mediators in a way.
honestly the document thing being mentioned and not having been shown at all to the public is what pisses me off the most. feels so dirty like its being held as something that is purposely obscured as if to generate speculation on its contents. it's kinda funny how it's hurt nijisanji the most even though they're the ones who brang it up.
I know for some people the fact that someone makes a document on their friends/co-workers might seem extreme or disgusting. I can't say shit about dokibirds situation bc i am obvs not her. However I have done similar things in the past to help collect my thoughts and work through my emotions around certain situations. Often I would show this document to a friend or third party to get feedback and a fresh perspective. Sometimes I would realise that the problems were just related to my own issues (stress/anxiety/mentall illness stuff). And sometimes I would realise the problems were the other person treating me like shit.
dealing with intense stress or situations is hard enough as is. ik pretty much everyone seems to be on dokibirds side rn. but some of yall need to show a little kindness to the other people involved too. being a dick to people being dicks or mishandling shit doesn't help anyone.
#dokibird#nijisanji#personal opinion#vtuber drama#rant post#its okay to be mad about how dokibird was mistreated#its okay to call out the bs#maybe dont make personal attacks and calling people shit#focus on the specific issues#give people the grace to change#thinking especially about the vtubers on the front facing side of the company#nijisanji en
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and tattoo #2, on the inside front of my bicep (photo angle was awkward). i. yknow. part of me feels like i have to justify myself here, explain my reasoning, but i don't think i do, actually.
#isat spoilers#in stars and time#i will do a little bit of explaining in the tags here#i can feel the difference between 'i'm obsessed with this purely because hyperfixation brain chemicals good'#and 'i'm obsessed with this bc it has changed me on a fundamental level'#like. i've put 3k hours into ark and never once considered an ark tattoo.#i know if i had ever gotten an xiv tattoo i'd still love it despite not playing anymore.#the fact that i've had this exact idea on my mind for the last month continuously is enough justification for me#it's a reminder to. be a little kinder to myself. give myself some grace for Fucking Up. and to ask for some goddamn help once in awhile.#to be less terrified of what people will think of me if i do something strange or different. idk.#thoughts that i know will stick with me for a long long time.#ANYWAY HAHA TIMELOOP GAME TATTOO GO WEEEEEEEEE#thank you to that one post about having a right to do what you want with your body as much as your future self does#extremely reassuring
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cw: harry potter, jk rowling, transphobia
I occasionally see posts/get messages about the various harry potter references in the bright sessions, etc. and I've gotten a bunch of new followers recently so just so any new/younger listeners of my shows know:
jk rowling is a terrible transphobe whom I hold zero respect for and I haven't given a dime of my money to her since she revealed who she truly is. I want the whole bright universe to be a safe space for trans people (including the trans folks in our cast and crew!) and if I could go back and remove those references, I would. but I can't! harry potter was an extremely significant part of my life until...well, until it became very clear who she really was. it makes me so sad to think that folks might be finding TBS now and get thrown out of the story by these references, but just know that the people who made the show do not stand by jk, and that in many ways, the show is a product of its time.
#the bright sessions#harry potter#jk rowling#transphobia#I know there's PLENTY to say about the bigotry in the actual books and I think there's a lot of merit to those criticisms#and I'll own to choosing not to see some of that stuff before all this went down bc the books were meaningful to me#(this is not HP specific - another beloved childhood book series that was EVEN more formative to me growing up)#(is also something I've grappled with in recent years bc I think the author is actually probably wildly misogynistic)#(even though he's never behaved badly (far as I know) in his public life - there's stuff in the text)#BUT ANYWAY#it can be so hard to remember that we didn't have ANY inkling of her bigotry in this regard until 2018#all of the original run of TBS was written before that#and I'll admit I gave jk the benefit of the doubt in 2018 re: her liking that tweet! I wanted to give her a chance to learn and grow#and she did....not do that#but TAMA was written in that little grace period#and then a few references in TCT were taken out during recording bc june of 2020 was when she really started to go mask off#and so we were making changes in real time#we didn't know what to do about quidditch#bc we were like 'this is a sport that people play in college and it's just called that?'#'and it's already canon that caleb plays?'#and it wasn't called quadball yet#anyway not trying to make excuses!#just know that none of those references were put in with any malice#and I guess I *could* go back and rerecord all those lines and replace them#but I know enough about my original audio engineering to know that it woudl be VERY hard to make it sound natural#and idk I do think there's something to be said for not covering up errors in old work#I'm not going to try to pretend HP wasn't important to me#EDIT: I've turned off reblogs for this post#also this is not me trying to tell other people how to approach their own HP fandom#fanworks especially - there's no benefiting jo in that - and I think it's totally legit for ppl to want to take HP as their own!
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Do you have any SDV hot takes?
Boy do I ever Anon! Thank you for giving me the chance to get on my soapbox about this.
Shane doesn't relapse when he is happily married to the Farmer. The popular "relapse" interpretation is based on faulty assumptions about what substance abuse recovery is supposed to look like and flat-out misreadings of the text of the game.
Shane doesn't "start" drinking again: he never stops, just reduces the amount he drinks. (Unless we are supposed to interpret the phrase "cut back" in the 7 Heart Event as meaning "quit” or "gave up” for some reason. Or if we ignore the new 1.6 dialogue about him drinking less after his 6 Heart event.)
Shane's mess is not a consequence of uncontrolled drinking, but a consequence of his depression and possible under-managed ADHD. His room at Marnie's remains exactly as messy when he's in recovery as it is when he's spiraling, so the drinking has no effect on his cleanliness.
”Okay,” you might say, “but he still shouldn’t drink, and he should pick up his room.” And sure, yeah. Ideally we should all do the same. But that’s not always a fair or realistic expectation for everyone. Not everyone can quit their addictions or bad habits cold turkey. Not everyone is going to be the model citizen. That doesn’t mean they can’t live happy lives. That doesn’t mean they don’t have value. That doesn’t mean Shane doesn’t have value.
So instead of complaining about the ways that Shane fails to measure up to typical adult standards, it may be more productive to ask: is he happy? Is he doing okay?
By any reasonable measure, a married Shane is living his best possible life. He‘s surprised and delighted to be your trophy husband. He doesn’t have to worry about taking a soul-sucking job or struggling with unemployment. His drinking isn’t causing him any problems, and if he can’t keep his personal space clean, at least he doesn’t let his mess spread to the rest of the house. He has his own little coop for Charlie and it’s just adorable to watch him bounce her up and down. He actually makes time for Jas. I am not requiring everyone to love Shane the way he is written, or to make space in their farmhouse for him. But please, have realistic expectations for the character that exists. And do make friends with him. He gives you an OP recipe and access to blue chickens!
#My other hot take is that people shouldn’t install mods that “fix” NPC character flaws#Yeah it bothers me too when Penny pushes George’s wheelchair without consent or when Clint gets on his “Nice Guy” hobbyhorse#But CA gave these characters flaws for a reason#Flaws add interest and depth to characters#Instead of knee jerk rejecting my discomfort with the character’s bad behavior#I can sit with it and reflect on my own behavior and values#And I can recognize the worth even in characters who don’t share my values#Or who don’t change and grow in the “right” way#After all I’m not gonna share all your values#Or always change and grow the way I ought to#But we all gotta live together and give each other a little grace#Anywho those are my hot takes#Thank you for your time#shane stardew valley#stardew valley#media analysis#media criticism#media literacy
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So I adore time loops and I think Sampo would be very fun in a time loop AU. Because despite having so many onscreen interactions with so many characters, he almost always seems to hold people at a certain careful distance, so it's fun to imagine what or who he's willing to use a time loop for, how far he's willing to go, how much he actually does care.
At the end of the Masquerade Duet companion quest, Sparkle mentions a catastrophe soon to befall Jarilo-VI. And some players have interpreted this as a past event (the catastrophe being the story quests we took part in there), but other players have speculated this as an upcoming disaster that Sampo is trying to mitigate.
And so, Gepard finds Sampo in Belobog, right after he was supposed to return from Penacony...or whatever it was called, Gepard had almost been too relieved to remember the name after Natasha assured him that Sampo was fine and not missing or dead, just on a trip since the planet was finally open for travel.
He had assumed this was some kind of vacation, or some shady business endeavor (valid), but when he sees him, Sampo looks. Exhausted.
His usual smirk is there, but there's something horribly off about it that Gepard can't put into words. His voice doesn't have the usual bounce in it. His gait slightly off. There are bags under his eyes, his hair is just the slightest bit out of place. Sampo looks exhausted.
His feet move without him really thinking, he goes up to Sampo to say...something. Maybe just ask him if he's ok. But he can't leave this alone and not do anything, because Gepard can feel it, something is wrong.
And that feeling sticks with him, like the persistent cold, like frostbite, all day. Gepard can't seem to shake it. There is a collective unease seeping through Belobog, sinking deep, tangling around their bones. And the only one who seems to be reacting truly different to it is Sampo.
Gepard tries to tail the guy a few times, anything he can do to learn about what's going on and ease this devouring dread, but Sampo seems to know where he's hiding and calls him out every single time.
He dodges every question (normal), slips out of every grab and grasp (normal), barely even looks at Gepard (decidedly NOT normal).
And maybe it's the darkness that seems to hover over them. The way the air feels like it is pressing down and smothering the breath out of his lungs. But Gepard's patience finally snaps, much sooner than he ever would have thought it would, and he finally grabs Sampo by the collar, hauls him up and forces his back against the brick wall of the alleyway. Because maybe Sampo makes his living double crossing and stabbing backs and he wouldn't understand this, but Gepard has a family, he has people he wants to protect, and so he needs to know what the fuck is going on.
And he knows he's crossed a line the moment he says it. He knows it's not true. Gepard has seen the way Sampo and Caelus sneak around in the Fragmentum or meander down the alleys, snickering with their arms slung around each other. He's seen the way Sampo lets Hook climb up his back onto his shoulders while he takes the moles on little adventures. He's seen the way he and Serval rib each other like it was natural, easy, and the way he goes out of his way for Natasha like he wouldn't any other client, had even trusted her with the knowledge that he was leaving off-planet.
Sampo has people he wants to protect, too, and Gepard shouldn't have accused him otherwise.
But before he can even apologize, Sampo does something stranger still.
Instead of telling him off, or taking a swing at him- both things Gepard would admit he deserved- Sampo just. Lifts one hand, lays it over Gepard's fists still balled in his jacket. Like he's keeping him there. Even through his gloves, his hand is warm.
And Sampo doesn't even really look at him, he leaves his head hung low as he quietly tells Gepard to just go home. Stay in with his family. Don't come out. Please. Please.
But eventually, the catastrophe strikes.
And Gepard can't. He can't stay safe inside his home while this is happening. He can't ignore this. He tells Serval and Lynx to stay in. Don't come out. And he dons his armor and marches out to protect as many people as he can.
When it's all said and done, all Gepard can see is rubble piled around him and a blackened sky. He can hear fire crackling. He can hear a voice he recognizes as Serval's wailing and screaming his name, and he knows she's not going to find him in time. She shouldn't even be out here.
A bloodied face swims into view, bright green eyes looking hollowed and haunted, posture weary and defeated. Gepard reaches out a shaking arm, trying to grab at Sampo's pantleg, trying to make any sound other than gurgling the blood filling his throat, because he knows it for certain now, he knew, Sampo knew.
"Not this time either, huh...?" The sigh he heaves isn't theatrical, for once. Somewhere, rubble groans and loudly collapses. Sampo doesn't even startle or turn to look at it. "I'll figure it out soon, I promise. There has to be a way to pull you through this alive. There has to be."
Something materializes in his hand, something red. Gepard's vision dims at the edges as he watches Sampo hold the mask over his face, as it seemingly attaches itself directly to his skin.
"See you on the next go around, Captain."
#hsr#sampard#gepo#gepard landau#sampo koski#I love open endings for things like this#but I did have the thought that like. the aeons are powerful enough to be immune to Sampo fucking with the timeline. so they all know.#(Aha is watching with a bucket of popcorn bc Sampo is Their Little Guy and They love to see him thrown into Situations ndmzjznd)#but this means that Qlipoth is also aware of what's going down. and They see how no matter what happens no matter what little things change#-Gepard still chooses to preserve whatever life he can. he chooses to protect every single time. and that becomes his saving grace.#Gepard DOES pull through not by compromising his morals but as a reward for keeping them because Qlipoth turns Their eye upon him.#They choose Gepard as Their Emanator. and that's what finally gives him power and the chance to live through his own actions.#and thank god lol bc Sampo would NOT be having an easy time with this au. i think everyone else he cares about would be relatively safe.#but Gepard considers it his DUTY to protect people. this is his RESPONSIBILITY. and he is so so goddamn stubborn about it.#so this isn't a case of man vs act of god. It's not Sampo vs The Catastrophe that's not what's going on here.#it's Sampo vs Gepard's unyielding will to protect whoever he can#and he is fighting a losing battle#my fics
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All of Revenge of the Sith, summarized:
Obi-Wan: I love and trust you, Anakin.
Anakin: No <3
Mace: Obi-Wan trusts you, Anakin.
Anakin: Opinion discared because Ive classified you as against me. Please forward my previous email to Yoda and get back to me about that council seat at your earliest possible convenience.
Yoda: mmm be a master, you will never be mmmm. melt steal beams, jet fuel cannot. mmmm. ignore that second thing I said, obi-wan cares very deeply abt you and are you still available tuesday at 6 for your next therapy session?
Anakin: Read✓ at 19:01
Padme: Obi-Wan loves and trusts you, Anakin. Just like I do.
Anakin: Not very gamer of you to not inherently validate my internal belief system :/
Palpatine: Obi-Wan hates ur loser ass lol. not like me tho I'm cool and always validate your internal beliefs (normal)
Anakin: I always knew he hated me, you're the only one willing to tell me the truth. thank God I never have to reevaluate my beliefs with you and don't have take any uncomfortable looks at my wants and desires. phew almost had to do some personal growth and acknowledge some things about myself thank God i avoided that
#:v#star wars#revenge of the sith#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#I make this stupid stupid post only because I always see people say communicate is their issue#WHEN ITS NOT!!!#Anakin as a lot of self worth issues and Obi-Wan spent a decade and change trying to break through to him#literally everyone around Anakin is telling him ''obi wan cares about you''#but Anakin has a set belief about Obi-Wan that often shifts slightly depending on persecuted he believes he is#obi-wan often becomes a stand in for Anakin's frustration at the Jedi as a whole#and Anakin often doesn't acknowledge obi-wan as an individual with confliction or his own wants and desires#like. Theyre all painfully human.#and anakin expects rightfully that the people around him will give him grace when he's human and less than perfect#but then does not extend that grace to obi-wan when he's less than perfect#a lot of mistakes were made when it comes to Anakin's training and a lot lead to his ultimate fall from grace#but communication wasn't one of them#because Obi-Wan constantly and consistently tries to communicate with him#but anakin was never going to hear what he didn't want to hear
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having a significantly dire self-confidence go lately, so i've been using all my spare moments with attempting to finish my daughter's cross-stitch project i started 2 years ago. i really hate feeling this way.
#i am well aware that i need to change my creation mode#away from someone who creates for other people#it's just that i've got fucking 13 years of internalized failure#that i'm trying to navigate through#and i gotta admit it's been a real fucking slog of a shitshow#in my god damn brain the past few months#i'm trying very hard to give myself grace#because over a decade of failure isn't going to be something i get over so quickly#but also sometimes i want to SCREAM at people#DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO LET GO OF SOMETHING#THAT YOU FUCKING STAKED YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON#FOR THAT FUCKING LONG#no positives no success stories#you just fucking failed#the fact that i'm writing at all anymore#is probably a god damn miracle#but god damn sometimes i just need someone to throw me a FUCKING LIFE PRESERVER#while i'm DROWNING
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not to be completely disillusioned and cynical. but the c-media circle on tumblr and every single eng-speaking site is so dreadfully racist. (us/uk) chinese diaspora are most guilty of this behaviour while also being the most vocal about racism against chineseness. how many times do i have to witness a racist post made under the guise of "fandom is just for fun!!!!"
#me is mark#had this same realization in 2018 but nothing has changed#how much longer do i have to endure the hypocrisy of the entire eng-speaking c-media fandom#i want to give grace but the truth is i resent all of these people deeply
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Feel like one of the best ways you can convince someone that no, villains with compelling motives that have sad backstories are not terrible writing compared to straight up born evil villains who just want to kill everyone and be done with it, is to tell them that Warrior Cats writes born evil villains constantly while literally preaching “That’s how evil works, you can’t CHANGE, you’re either touched by demons at birth or you aren’t!” and it blows chunks
#brokenstar tigerstar hawkfrost darktail one eye etc etc would all be so much more interesting if they werent so one note#and just had ‘’born evil’’ slapped on as their explanation for being evil#‘’ew why are you woobifying tigerstar’’ because i think a villain who feels emotion besides ‘’evil’’ and ‘’angry’’ and actually does care#about his clanmates but is also a bigot that deserves to be beaten down is more interesting than canon#to get like real world political here… abusive people and bigots like. are not one note born evil demons#they have loved ones and reasons for turning out the way they did. and im not saying that to go ‘’so you need to give them grace!’’#im saying that because the line of thinking that every bad person is a super obvious mustache twirling villain with no soul#makes it so that people justify abuse and crimes from REAL people. like ‘’oh my friend says some racist things but he isnt BAD! he loves me!#would an abusive person be nice to his wife in public? of course not!’’#and its rhetoric like that that lets abuse and bigotry thrive. if you put the world in categories of born evil and born good#then you will dismiss all the ‘’good’’ people in your life who have done horrible things with ‘’but she donated to charity once’’#i mean. hell this LITERALLY happens in wc where the ‘’born good’’ characters are abusive and murderously xenophobic#where characters like clear sky and blackstar just get a sticker like ‘’oh you cant be TOO mad at them! theyre good at heart!’’#‘’ignore all the times they killed vulnerable people for the crime of being born somewhere they didnt like! they were nice to a kid once!’’#the message there is literally ‘’bad people cant REALLY be bad if theyre nice to people sometimes’’#like. im not even mad at clear sky being motivated by witnessing his loved ones starve to death for why hes such an abusive control freak#thats an interesting reason to become a villain especially since the change happened when he was put in a position of power#the problem is not him having a sad backstory. the problem is the erins think his sad backstory means he was never that bad#and anyone who’s upset at him can go eat shit and die cause he looked sad#like. i get this line of thinking often comes from writers doing this for abuse apologism and just wanting to see abusers be held accountabl#accountable#but how exactly does it help victims of abuse to portray abusers and bigots in a christian ‘’touched by the devil’’ light
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man fuck it im gonna start doin wip wednesdays here
Summer is sweet and endless and she has nothing to do but look at me. She's looking at me now, through the sun's glare on her mirror. She shadows the shapes of my mouth, but doesn't put her voice to my words.
My parents are worried about Grace. They think something's wrong with her - I know what it is. Grace knows, too, looking at me, looking through the glare in the mirror. Everything about her is wrong. I could fix her, if she would let me.
Solid, measured knocks. "Gracie?"
"Yeah?" She pulls her braids back to look at her shoulders uncovered. The angle of her jaw. She is trying to see how it matches up to mine.
"Your mother and I are going to go to the mall. Do you want to come?"
I've never been a fan of the sweltering heat of a cracked-asphalt parking lot, nor the chill on my skin in a Macy's. Grace says, "Okay." But she only said that so that she can look away from me. She is a fool. I can be found in anything that can reflect. I watch her in the windows, in silver lockets, in the mirrors she models new boots in. She parades about like a wind-up toy, a ballerina in a music box. Her mother hands her new skirts for the new school year, button-up blouses, low-cut but not whorish, and modest stockings.
The dressing rooms are hidden in the corner, neatly separated by two icons of triangles - one upside and one downside. I follow her to the wrong one, the wrong stall. It's cramped and ill-fitting, somewhat like a body. Grace tries her best to avoid me still. It's a valiant effort, I'll give her that much. But at some point, in a few minutes, maybe, she'll have to turn around and face me.
Grace takes off her tanktop like the accused pushing off concrete slabs. She hisses with impatience at the clasp of her bra and its stubborn claws in her skin, throws it on the bench with more violence than is necessary. Branded into her back it remains, aching, smoking. Cramped and ill-fitting. She itches at it like the fabric is stuck in her, like it still remains subcutaneously and she could pull it away finally, permanently, if she also removed the skin. Her nails are well cared for, and so, won't do the job. I smile at the sound of her bent elbows.
Her pants go too, her keys squeezing free of the claustrophobic pockets and diving with raucous applause to the floor. Her phone is in her purse, because the back pockets are only decorative. Grace doesn't curse. Her words are never ugly. Instead, her lips bend into the shape of: "shit", and then she bends and picks up the keyring. It is unadorned. Why should it be anything else? A key only has one purpose.
For a moment we stand there together, Grace's back to me, my back not quite to hers. She is hesitating, stretching out the moment between one set of clothes and the next. The blouse is slippery and coarse in texture, sends spider legs running over her back. The skirt is of good quality, but takes up in the back, so she is afraid to bend. No pockets.
I ask her if I can see it. She stares at the off-white wall in silence, and then she turns.
"Oh, no, Gracie. That won't do at all." I tell her. "That thing isn't even fit to be a tablecloth. It's see-through, it's itchy on my ribs. It's pushing my skin too close to my bones, the points of my ribs poking at my lungs. It's like a coffin leaking air, sighing its way into the ground."
Her breath hitches. "I don't know what's wrong with me." She's saying to herself, to the mirror, to me. I make a sound - in my mouth it is sympathetic, but in hers it is animal, pained, cornered.
#the erm#well i already have all of my future changes planned out but might as well talk about it here#the introduction to this scene needs to be a bit more involved or like.#ren calls it cinematic lol#wip wednesday#UHHH#writeblr#writeblogging#the next part that im working on today will be the reflection giving her different clothes to try on#i dont know whether to lean harder into the dysphoria in like a 'i just look like a girl in mens clothes' or into a euphoric way#i can probably figure out a way to do both?#like... if grace is like I hate this and the reflection goes But look#here is potential for something else#the more i write it the more im confident its like#clear enough so as not to be confusing#like even if u dont get the intended meaning youd probably come away with Something#i havent had many people read any of this yet tho#since im not in a creative writing group anymore i dont have a lot of people To show#maybe theres something like that that meets up at my library#or maybe i could start something?#idk how youd even like. advertise for that...#i dont actually think this is long enough to warrant a readmore but i thought it would be polite still#i guess technically this is transgender but its not like#its prose lol#oh this is a short story im intending to submit to a lit magazine when its finished#id liketo find specifically a queer one#ive been trying to make a lil personal website on neocities to host my original stuff too so ill probably put this there when its done#sniffs#🕷❣#TRYING NOT TO BE NEGATIVE I CAN WRITE! THIS IS A SECOND PASS BUT ITS STILL GOOD AND WORTH SHARING
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Haven’t been on tumblr since last September or earlier so I’ve added Zionists to my blog’s DNI list. A long time coming I just always thought things like racists, Zionists, etc were a given. Evidently not. However long we’ve known each other/been mutuals, if you can’t see your way to the right side of this I want you to walk away from my blog and not come back.
- Donate to MSF, UNWR, Anera, MAUSA
- Read the news when you have the capacity. Share it when it’s accurate, never stop talking about what’s happening.
- Fuck NYT, fuck Washington Post, fuck CNN, fuck Le Monde, fuck franceinfo, FUCK CNN.
- Don’t stop learning, loving, dancing, creating. The fight only holds strong for as long as we do.
I’m not arguing with anyone about this. I will give you plain old source links if you genuinely want sources, places you can read more. I am not and will not play the “but what about-” game with anybody. I don’t care what your points are, I’ve heard them all. Go sit in your safe warm house that isn’t being carpet bombed.
#i have so much grace#i will engage with bigots who hate my guts#and have!#as long as i don’t give them a platform#i have so much faith in people’s ability#even if only a little bit of the time#to learn and to change their opinion#and i believe in planting the seed of doubt#but not about this#not here#not like this on tumblr dot com am i going to engage in a debate about whether genocide is justified#i have had MONTHS of this#i cannot show pictures of mass burials of children to more impassive faces#i will keep doing it#but i draw the line at doing it here on the internet#where i’m just arguing with trolls and brick walls 90% of the time#UNWR#MSF#MAUSA#Anera
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if you want people to be kind to you then you need to be kind to others. it is exactly that simple and exactly that hard
#there is nuance of course#times you have a breakdown and times you just fucking snap#times you can't control when and where you lash out#but then what's important is what comes after#whether you try to make up for whatever hurt you caused#it's HARD.#and sometimes it is thankless#and sometimes it doesn't feel good#but some of the most important acts of kindness are those that don't feel good#admitting that you're wrong almost never feels good#but imagine the world if people in power did that more often#imagine if we gave more grace to let people change#even if it feels bad#even if we're sure it won't do anything#because the alternative is giving no one anywhere to go except to double down on their hatred#or made it Even Harder for them to admit they were wrong and all the screaming hateful people were right#do no harm; take no shit#like absolutely dont set yourself on fire to keep other people warm but#god. please. try to do no harm
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#will delete this soon but just momentarily very annoyed#at religious people who see atheists or people from other religions read their holy book or learn more about their religion#and assume that that will lead them to convert#and it's sometimes with good intentions like i just saw someone saying people outside of their faith have good hearts and therefore#when they read this faith's holy texts it'll click with us and we'll naturally convert#and sometimes it's kinda iffy like oh see our revealed knowledge says that people will convert to our religion in multitudes#but either way it misses this massive thing#which is that agreeing with a religion's ethics or finding an aspect of it beautiful#does not mean anything about whether you'll believe it's *true*#i would love to believe in an afterlife#i cannot#i cannot make myself believe in something if i am not personally compelled by the evidence#there are many beautiful things in many religions but appreciating them does not change my fundamental lack of belief#in anything that defies the laws of physics#i don't say that to denigrate religious faith as irrational#if you are compelled by the evidence and have thought about your beliefs and come to the conclusion that eg god(s) are real#that's great! you're not an irrational or stupid person we just see things differently#but please give us atheists the same grace#please respect our lack of belief as something we cannot change about ourselves#just as you won't go 'ohh shit god's not real after all' overnight just because we tell you that's what we believe#idk mutual understanding and an end to proselytizing from ALL parties would go a long way imo
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I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3
#random post#I have SO many thoughts and ideas. I love to create and I love to build on what I have and I like to connect to existing things#there is lots of oc lore in my brain! it graces my blog sometimes. not always. it’s hard to put abstract feeling and thought into words#and it’s challenging trying to find the best place to start talking about things yknow? like I as the creator of this whole unique universe#pretty much already know how things end up. how they’re going. how it started. some are easier to know than others. but that doesn’t stop me#from trying create for it. or searching for the missing piece to start the domino effect of development and fulfillment#it’s hard to see where the pieces fit sometimes. but getting a new angle or changing something about the piece can make finding where it#belongs easier. this is what I mean when I say I have very intricate and complicated thoughts. not spending too long writing my sentences or#overthinking them helps to keep things as they are in my head. since I’m not filtering them into something almost unrecognizable#writing a paper in a single sitting in a set time really helps me produce a unified and intricate product. I’ve been told I write well#which I find mildly humorous. I’ve never been a writer by choice really. I’m an artist that works with a physical visual piece rather than#letters that convey meaning. I’m more of a thinker than a writer. but in some instances they’re one in the same. I’m rambling but y’all know#that about me by now I’m sure hahagahaha. yea. my OCD makes me spend too long on words and that’s why I always talk in a short way#a more simplistic way. leaves less room for the mind to pick out flaws if everything is flawed on purpose yknow? haha yea. I like me yknow?#and other people like me too! that will never cease to surprise and amaze me haha. I’m one of those people that has an easier time with#people different from themselves. the people I’ve known and spoke to throughout my life are so very different from me. but they all feel#comfortable to share their experience with me. a lot of these people on paper would be ones I’d try to avoid I guess. differing opinions and#world views yknow? but the way I am. gives people comfort I’ve found. I’m not bragging about that it’s just interesting. it’s the same with#my whole household like we meet people that are like. idk a good descriptor but they’re very set in a specific way. and then we just?? they#like us?? idk it’s just funny to think about my dad getting along with legit crazy people or my mom being the person who’s the favorite of#the least liked / polite person in the office. or my brother and sister being very well liked in their schools but are just average students#who aren’t trying to be more than kind. or when I as myself. with the thoughts and opinions I have. am able to get along with anyone I#come across. I’m really not trying to be bright about that I’m just an. empath? I guess? I’m just very nice to people and meet them at their#level and don’t try steering the conversation to smth bad or controversial. but even then people will still talk to me and like me cus I’m#not putting them down or hating on them for how they think and feel. I listen. I can understand them. not agreeing with their views doesn’t#mean I can’t get why people think or feel how they do. I try to not be biased or entirely antagonist to things different than me#I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that#I may not understand yet. but I’ll learn to. that’s probably the main reason why people feel comfortable around me. that and also I have#a smile pretty much always lol. I’m small and non threatening lookin with a single dimple on the cheek and eyes so dark you could see the#faintest light reflected in them. anyways I have gone into several different directions with this and kinda lost the main point I was making
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Anyway did you hear that the new Harry Potter game has a trans woman in it? I know, shocker.
Her name's Sirona Ryan.
In between her name probably being specifically chosen for people to call her 'Sir Ryan', I look at it and think, 'Oh. Sirona. Like sirens. Like the creatures in Greek mythology that lured people to their deaths with falsities. Implying danger. Implying lies. Implying that this character isn't a real woman. Couple that with the last name. 'Ryan'. Which is an actual last name, granted. But seems so weird as a name to give to a trans woman. Since the name is also a first name. And is typically associated with men. And Rowling is a TERF. Implying invalidation towards her as a trans woman. Huh. Interesting.'
By the way, from a cursory Google search, 'Sirona' comes from Celtic mythology as a name that one of the goddesses use, but come on. Are we really going to believe that she did the research on that? That it was intentional? Sheesh.
#just ranting about it here#giving brief thoughts about it like my initial impressions upon hearing about this#hard to say if this is an attempt to get into peoples' good graces#like 'ohh Rowling has changed! she's added a trans person into the script so she can't be transphobic!'#or if it's some means to distract from the BLATANT ANTISEMITISM IN THE GAME#or if it's meant to goad and prod at trans people instead#who knows? i don't#apparently the game is also shit but is still receiving positive reviews by virtue of it Being Harry Potter because Of Course It Is#i look forward to the hours-long video essays going into the game just to dissect how terrible it is#and going into depth about the political and antisemetic aspect of the game as a whole
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idk. people /should/ get comfortable with the fact that mental illness causes all kinds of things that aren’t viewed as socially acceptable. you need to just suck it up if someone smells bad on the train or if someone is picking their skin or if someone is muttering to themselves. get over it. crying and screaming in public shouldn’t be a crime.
on the other hand, if you are using your mental illness to say it’s why you don’t like Asian people and you can’t help it, i do get to hate you forever and never speak to you again.
#there are lots of things people just can’t help. it’s not fair to ask them to change just to adhere to societal expectations#and changing society would be much more helpful than shaming most individuals#there’s real pressure to put yourself in situations you know will end badly because you have to network. you have to go to your job.#you have to put in face time with your family and friends. even when you love the people they can choose the most incompatible circumstance#for your condition(s). i get it! i genuinely think the line errs most to giving grace and getting over it#where is the line between me understanding there’s a symptom and i am just upholding unreasonable expectations#versus my feelings being hurt by x behavior#if i can go yeah that thing isn’t a problem. that’s just a thing i have been taught to view as a problem and it doesn’t really harm me it’s#probably the former#doing more to make it safe for people to exist is the most helpful thing but. there’s still a line.
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