#give me five years and a 100k words

[alegocarmadein]

gods above I WILL get this fandom to 100 fics if it's the last thing I do!

[argetcross]

Happy 4th anniversary to wasting beats of this heart of mine, my Zagreus becomes mortal AU! Another year, some more adventures undertaken.

This year, I've unearthed more concepts and half-finished paintings all the way from 2021. I've included notes under the cut about each piece, as well as more reflections.

If you told me in October 2020 that you'll write a fic over 100k words long, spanning multiple cities, with multiple POVs, I would have said, "Are you sure?". I think I never really imagined I could keep a story running, much less one that demands so much of its author. At the same time, this work has been my deepest and most fulfilling pleasure. It lives in my dreams, haunts my waking moments, and demands I regularly carve my heart out and poke through the viscera. I suppose such is the nature of art.

We've been approaching the end of Part III, and readers up-to-date know I've mentioned planning for five parts in total. Five acts, five biomes: it only feels fitting. Many things I had looked forward to (the chariot race! Kyane and Persephone! The return of Thymoetes!) have come to life on the page, but there's still so much of the yarn left to spin. I never expected needing years to complete this story, but I also feel strongly I am beholden to it now. To Zagreus, to Demeter's children, to the mortals and gods, above and below. I will continue to try my best.

Thank you to jules, val, nan, robin, and spleen for having beta'd for me during these years. This story wouldn't be what it is without you. Thank you to mag, for having crawled through the trenches of creating an enormous fanwork and countless hours of spreadsheeting, with me. To every artist that has ever drawn me anything, it is truly humbling to be able to inspire your work. To the House Party, whose friendship I am grateful for every day.

And to anyone who has ever read part of the story, left a comment, and stepped along on this journey with me, I cannot overstate how grateful I am. I remain baffled and pleasantly surprised that this world of mine can touch your heart. It's a story that I hope, when it completes, you will pick up again from time to time, and take pleasure in its telling once more.

With all my love,

Arget

--

Notes about each image:

Thanatos and Zagreus by the sacred olive trees of Athena. This painting was based on a photo I took in Athens. The quality of the sunlight astounded me and, in turn, made me think about life and death.

Thanatos anointing the body of the god Zagreus with nectar. This is related to the scene in Chapter 23, when he and Nyx converse by Zagreus' bedside.

Eleusis concepts. For such a powerhouse of a cult, Eleusis itself has a provincial feeling to it. I was captivated by the idea of the sea, and the fact that Zagreus had never spent any time on the coast. This would have been his first experience with it.

Athens. What can I say about Athens that hasn't been said? The trip I took late 2022 provided a lot of the inspiration for the citadel aspect of the acropolis. This is not the Athens of Classical Greece, the polis of democracy, but a fictionalized city-kingdom, under the rule of its royal family. The idea that Callisto had a student living in Athens was both a nod to the extensive trade happening during the Bronze Age and a deconstruction of the Amazon myth that the Greeks told themselves.

Clymene, the Oracle of Delphi. This was originally meant to be a Hades game-like portrait, but I scrapped the idea. She is dressed in the fashion closer to the Minoans, to give her a more Bronze Age feeling. As the head priestess, I wanted to show her age.

Apheidas and Thymoetes sketches. The two brothers are supposed to look night and day from each other. I tried to give Apheidas a pleasant sort of face, in comparison to Thymoetes' haughtiness.

The tapestry sketch. This was one of the first drawings I ever made about wasting beats, in an attempt to understand the type of story I was about to write. Key elements had already been decided, such as the chariot race and the way Demeter and Hades would play the role of the absent gods, for above as well as below. I had not written Apollo at this time, so you see him here with short hair.

Zagreus, reaching for a bloodstone. The chlamys, a gift from his foster-father's wife, has been the simple denotation of mortal Zagreus. Something bright and red, simple for it was woven by a farmer's wife, and barely able to protect his weaker mortal body.

Megaera, hurt and angry, and Than, stricken and alarmed, amidst a storm of paper. This is a scene from Chapter 18, Primordial Winter, that I had always wanted to illustrate.

[lttawnymadison]

TGCF Revised Version Afterword by MXTX

Since I kept seeing snippets of this, I wanted to read the whole thing for myself. I'd already bought the book on JJWXC and did an MTL for this. It's so wonderful that she's back and sharing new things and that the revised is finally done! - Tawny --------------------------------------------- The author has something to say:

Seeing the small red clay stove again.

———— Afterword of "Heaven Official's Blessing" 2022

■ Finally done!

Long time no see! It's another afterword starting with "finally." Without further ado, seasoned readers would know that I make substantial revisions. For instance, scenes like the Bai Feng Mountain Hunt and the ending recognition of Sizhui in the serial version of "Mo Dao Zu Shi" were not originally there.

The revisions in "Heaven Official's Blessing" are the most extensive of all my works. It was a huge project, as it is also the longest in terms of length, serialized over eight months. Due to poor health and other reasons, the revision process was interrupted for a long time before I picked it up again, and it sporadically took about five to six months over several years.

In the era of web novels, there are endless new entertainments, and honestly, not many people re-read a story. Plus, some problems in the serialized version are structural and can't be changed, but I still tried my best to address my regrets. After all, when I was serializing it, I was almost always in a feverish and sick state, barely pushing through. Additionally, I often enjoy comparing different versions of my favorite authors' works back and forth, finding pleasure in the process. So, for readers, discovering "Wow, this part has changed!" is like starting a new journey with Easter eggs in a second round.

■ The new revised version includes about 100,000 words of new content!

These 100k words are mainly concentrated in the latter half of Volume 1 and Volume 3, but there are plenty scattered throughout the text. For example, I fulfilled a promise to A-Hua, giving him several new outfits. Seeing A-Hua dressed beautifully in a new hairstyle to meet his gege made me happy.

In terms of the intensity of revisions, personally, I feel it goes like this:

Volume 1 and Volume 2 > Volume 3 > Volume 5 > Volume 4.

Additionally, the new version cuts some redundant words and plots that weren't very meaningful. However, I tried to keep all the original interactions between Hua Lian as complete as possible. If some minor interactions are missing, they weren't deleted but moved around.

■ One day, I suddenly dug out something.

An antique from 2017, a folder called "Heaven Official's Blessing Setting Collection."

Curiously, I opened it and read with interest.

● Comparing the original setting outline and the main text, the highest fidelity is in the main storyline between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian.

A-Hua, restored at a ratio of 1:100.

Hua's character setting is the most detailed, and virtually every point made it into the main text, including details like "ghosts don't like the sun, so Hua Cheng sometimes drapes a red cloth over his head"...

Points not used, listed a few:

As a child:

· After being saved from falling off a city wall, he foolishly followed a parade over and over again, grabbing people to ask, "Who is that? Who is that person?" People told him, "That's the royal son, the future Celestial God, the most outstanding Crown Prince of Xianle Nation ever!"

(This point couldn't be used because in the text A-Hua was held in the Crown Prince's arms after being saved)

· At home, he was often punished to stand or kneel, not given food, and wore old clothes, accused of stealing money. Whenever he argued with his family, he would stubbornly sleep in the Prince's temple overnight.

· Went to Mount Tai Cang to volunteer sweeping red leaves at Huangji Observatory, just to sneak peeks at his future wife happily swinging.

After becoming the ghost king:

· One of his hobbies is buying and building houses everywhere.

· Very protective of his leather boots, would (badly) polish them until they shone.

· To other devout followers of Xie Lian, he said: "You have good taste."

· Secretly prepared many betrothal gifts for his beloved god, wanting to marry him!

The character setting of Xie Lian as a teacher in the serialized version compared to the initial draft, the serialized text subtly differs. The initial draft was more... exquisite and elegant, very serious. The serialized text is more... humorous. I think perhaps because some plot points were tragic, Xie Lian thought he should be happier to make the readers more relaxed, so he drove me to adjust his mental state! But due to the spiritual oppression at that time, the character's depth was not enough, while in the new revised version, I hope he can show a more self-content state on the same core basis.

Excerpts from the unused original setting:

· Super easy-going. Easy-going means: if given fifty bucks, he would happily dress in drag and dance. Accepts haggling. Thirty bucks works. Twenty bucks too!

· The observatory is small, the house is broken, wants to grow flowers. Leaks during rain, so he uses a bucket to catch rainwater.

· Because he can't afford a caretaker, he cleans himself, and also feeds chickens. Chickens eat flowers. Keeps a cat.

· Completely engrossed in discussing serious matters, he unknowingly finished all the broken sweet dumplings!

● Water, Earth, Wind original setting:

The highest fidelity is the main line between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian, followed by the Water, Earth, Wind subplot.

The main conflict hasn't changed. Just... how could the original setting of Water, Earth, Wind be so dark and terrifying!

The character morals in the main text improved a lot, otherwise, the original Black Water would be sheer scheming + murderous! The ending for the Wind Master would have been more tragic.

The Venerable of Empty Words suddenly became an improvised character. It seemed like an ancient fable-like monster, making the main text more interesting than the original setting.

Overall, the formal version is a bit better written than the original draft.

● The unfortunate life of Lang Ying:

Lang Ying? Is there such a character? I don't remember!

Ah? It seems there was such a person, but I don't remember any of his plotlines.

This is most people's feeling towards the character of Lang Ying. It's not a delusion because he barely had any significant plot. In fact, any valuable scenes could have been replaced equivalently, so in the new revised version, I deleted this character.

But, in the 2017 setting collection, I suddenly found that I had actually opened a separate document for Lang Ying, and his role was defined as a "growing-type BOSS!"

I was silent.

And immediately opened the document, curious about my initial setting. A "growing-type BOSS," how did he become someone whose deletion went unnoticed...? (I even don't know how to address him!)

Who knows, perhaps out of excitement, I accidentally pressed the wrong shortcut, and somehow it became irreversible, leaving only an empty document for me to stare in disbelief. The once "growing-type BOSS" has now forever become a mystery!

This is the unfortunate life of the deleted Lang Ying.

· There was another document in the setting collection called "Swordsmith." I opened the document and read it with interest.

I was shocked. Because I completely forgot I had conceived this story. Why didn't I write it?!

Darn.

I know why I didn't write it. This story... it had no ending!

——————— Thus, the magical glimpse into the "Heaven Official's Blessing Setting Collection" concludes!

■ I like men with stories!

Maybe because I watched an outstanding work as a child. It was a memoir, the protagonist in the biography was gentle and affable, and the protagonist in the memories was cold and ruthless. The story was scattered with the poignant fragrance of white plum blossoms amidst bloody and stormy circumstances.

This almost perfect work deeply influenced my aesthetics, leading me to be most interested in the memory parts of characters in various works. Although many viewers prefer the present scenes, often asking when the memories will end, I actually find these intense and painful memories to be the most fascinating!

A story is the history of a character, as well as the key to their personality. A person with a story stands before me like a puzzle. The way to solve this puzzle is to understand their story. Because the biography makes one curious to know more about a character they like, loving them more now because of their past. When serializing "Heaven Official," my greatest pain initially was telling myself, "This time I don't want to write a memory slaughter," deliberately trying to avoid a structure similar to previous works, yet I still hadn't found a better way to express it, resulting in my deep dissatisfaction with the later part of Volume 1. I was also hesitant to fully commit to the memory scenes in Volume 2, and with the heavy mental burden, this part was very painful to write. When revising, looking at Volume 2 was almost unbearable, because I'm the type of person who, as a child, would immediately switch channels when a TV show's protagonist was about to be wrongfully accused or embarrassed. I couldn't help but knock on a friend's door and ask:

Me: Was the author suffering some kind of mental trauma at the time? This negative energy is too horrifying, the protagonist is so pitiful, I really admire anyone who could read through Volume 2 completely.

Friend: Do you even have the right to say that?

But the memory slaughter in Volume 4 was much freer, written in one breath, so the revisions for this volume were also the least.

So, will you still write large segments of memory slaughter?

Um, well, we'll see, haha, hehe...

■ Closing Remarks:

Lastly, I'll address the question some asked me, "Will the new revised 'Heaven Official's Blessing' be more torturous?"

Me: You're talking nonsense. 'Heaven Official's Blessing' is a sweet pampering story, thank you!

Acknowledgments:

Shi Nai'an wrote in the preface to "Water Margin": "On snowy nights, about five or six people listen to my storytelling; on rainy days, about seven or eight; on bright and sunny days, about ten. I read, everyone listens, and we are all happy, with no other thoughts." When I read this as a young person, I was delighted. What divine days! Writing first to entertain oneself, then to entertain others. Self-expression and self-acceptance are certainly primary, but the affection of others is also a significant positive feedback. Thus, first, I thank the steadfast readers who have accompanied me all this time. I've thought about just walking away amidst the noisy disputes; abandoning the account amidst the tumultuous world! It seems not bad. But looking back, I can't bear to leave some truly sincere readers.

I've had authors I liked disappear from the internet, and I always feel like a part of my youth has vanished, a feeling quite distressing, reminiscent of overly grand and harsh things like the tears of the era or the torrent of history. So, I want to accompany my readers as long as possible, hoping that the day of parting comes later. Perhaps I'm not good enough now, but I will strive to be better in the future. Or perhaps you've never truly understood what kind of person I am, or even completely misunderstood me, but as long as you genuinely like my stories, we can sit down and chat.

And, I must mention my friends, who can be described as having the courage of a hero. Long time no see, Teacher Changyang's illustrations are still as beautiful as those of a celestial being, I hope Teacher CAS can go to bed earlier and worry less, and Teacher Kuohao, who despite a heavy workload, still fully honored our agreement. The "Heaven Official's Blessing" radio drama is really fantastic! It reminded me of the original intention of writing this story, and I was very moved. If it weren't for the silent companionship and efforts of these old friends, Mo Xiang Tong Xiu might have stopped writing back in 2016, disappearing from the world of martial arts, and thus, "Heaven Official's Blessing" would not have been born. I look forward to retracing the paths we once walked together when gathering ideas. And many friends who reached out to help and encourage me, thank you for accompanying me through the snowy nights.

[graciereadshannigram]

hey fam, welcome to the April 2024 roundup of the best hannigram fics i've read this past month! i read over 100 fics total, and these were the cream of the crop.

as a reminder: the ingredients for a five star rating typically (but not always!!) include some combination of a.) believable characterizations of both Hannibal and Will, b.) compelling plot and/or character arcs, and c.) high quality smut.

that being said, my judgment of the aforementioned ingredients is powered almost exclusively by vibes and as such, is incredibly subjective.

you can find past recs below:

February March

and if you have any recs of your own for me, PLEASE SHARE.

anyway, in no particular order, let's go!

~

A place you can never go by det395

Word Count: 84,596 Summary: When things don’t go according to plan, Hannibal makes a wish. He finds himself a year-and-a-half in the past and seemingly given another chance with Will. His feelings about the situation only get more complicated when he realizes he may not have completely lost access to his old timeline after all. A Digestivo canon divergence.

If you follow me, you probably saw me already raving about this fic. This was so fucking good, holy fucking shit. And also heartbreaking. Made me think a lot about the nature of reality and what does it mean for something to be "real." Plus, I really love fics that explore their shared mind palace because I genuinely think that is one of the more underexplored aspects of their relationship. Definitely heavy on the angst, but there is a happy ending!

even though our love is doomed by bleakmidwinter

Word Count: 82,427 Summary: Hannibal solves the mystery of time travel and he and Will decide to go into the past and take opportunities previously missed along with rewriting the regrets they each hold. Changing the past does not effect the future and they have free reign to play as the please.

GIVE ME MORE THAN FIVE STARS PLEASE. I am obsessed with this fic. I've mostly stayed clear of time travel fics (aside from, you know, the one right above this) because the execution can be hit or miss, but let me fucking tell you. This was a god damn home run. There's a little bit of angst, but then there's also a chapter where Will challenges Hannibal that he wouldn't have been able to seduce him while Will was still working in Louisiana fixing boat motors. And obviously Hannibal decides to take that challenge.

Railroad Romance by OneWhoSitsWithTurtles

Word Count: 12,400 Summary: Hannibal is still Hannibal, and Will is still Will. Except Will is not part of the FBI and they meet on a two day train trip from New Orleans to Baltimore.

Dirty. Talk. In. FRENCH. Holy shit. Okay this was excellent. EXCELLENT. Perfect characterizations, and wonderful dialogue. Wow. Also, I love trains. Who doesn't love trains?

patroclus in furs by bleakmidwinter

Word Count: 130,185 Summary: If Will and Hannibal hadn't gone into their respective careers, they would have become porn stars.

I had my doubts about a pornstar AU, but I've really enjoyed everything else by this author and it was over 100k, so I gave it a shot! And WOW. The characterizations of both Will and Hannibal were spot on and believable. A good mix of fluff and angst, and the author clearly put a lot of thought into the porn scenes. Tbh I'm probably going to reread this shortly.

Pavlova by nbcravenstag

Word Count: 33,369 Summary: It’s not like Hannibal didn’t know that Will was hiding something. It was after the third body drop a week ago that it became clear that Will had a secret that somehow involved the case, one he wasn’t willing to share yet, not even with Hannibal. At 6:43 AM, Will had texted Hannibal that a fourth body had been found and that he was on his way to the scene with Jack. At 8:06 PM, Will had stepped into Hannibal’s office, thirty-six minutes past his appointment time, and practically shouted “I used to be a stripper!” as loudly as his hoarse voice would allow him to. Hannibal Lecter, though not phased by much in life, has never been entirely able to predict Will Graham, but this is just… getting out of control. Alternatively, the FBI is hunting a serial killer targeting male strippers, and Will decides to throw himself into the fray. Hannibal is beyond pleased.

An AU where Will was a stripper in college and now he's working a case where he can be live bait as a stripper? Shut the fuck up. Mostly told from Hannibal's perspective, and it's just *chefs kiss*. Who knew Will giving Hannibal a lap dance would be so HOT. (I could have guessed.)

Lessons In Submission by wyldefire

Word Count: 5,173 Summary: Hannibal was stubborn, independent, and Will had always loved that about him, but there were times, times like these, in the midst of heat, in the midst of such a thorough breeding, when lessons in submission were necessary.

My only thought at the end of this was, "Shut the whole fuck up" in the best way possible. Smut. Just all smut.

A Very Special Guest by LesBeanBurrito

Word Count: 56,660 Summary: Season 1 AU in which Will stays for Hannibal’s dinner party after bringing the bottle of wine at the end of 1X07 Sorbet. Embarrassed and Sassy Will Graham meets Smitten Hannibal Lecter.

I LOVE a good season 1 AU and this was checking all of the boxes for me! There's a secret relationship, Hannibal actually gets Will treated for his encephalitis, Will finds out about Hannibal, etc. Very much loved the plot, and the characterizations were spot on.

lover to your nightmare (look what you made of me) by merrythoughts and ReallyMissCoffee

Word Count: 123,367 Summary: Driving back home, it’s then he reflects on Hannibal asking him to run away that night. To forgo their plans altogether, to slip away. [Canon divergent. Will confesses his betrayal and asks Hannibal to run away with him, but Will has a plan of his own...]

You want dark!Will mixed in with some incredibly jealous and possessive Hannigram? Hooo boy do I have a fic for you! The ending was a little abrupt, but it was the perfect mix of gut-wrenching angst and toxicity + smoking hot smut. I genuinely had to stop and focus on my breathing more than once.

On the Lam by shotgun_sinner

Word Count: 63,992 Summary: Post-Fall (Hannibal)season 4Crack Treated SeriouslyOn the RunWill Graham Discovers FanfictionExplicit Sexual Contentsexual identity crisisThat's Not Really A CrisisWill Graham is HannisexualMurder HusbandsHomophobiaMurder of a HomophobeHannibal Lecter Loves Will GrahamWill Graham Loves Hannibal LecterPower Bottom Will Grahamthey love each other your honorvery meta

This was such a fun read – I love the implication that hannigram fanfiction exists and it's all there for Will to accidentally discover. I adore this author and just thoroughly enjoyed how Will learned a thing or two about himself by reading smutty fics (same dude).

Golden Promises by shotgun_sinner

Word Count: 68,488 Summary: Hannibal (TV) Season/Series 01Alternate Universe - Canon DivergenceEpisode: s01e07 SorbetHallucinations?Will Hopes SoLELOplugSexuality CrisisThat Ends Up Not Being A CrisisWill Graham Has EncephalitisHannibal Gets Will TreatmentDeveloping RelationshipWill Graham's Dogs - FreeformBonding over fooddoting hannibalEventual SmutHannibal Lecter Loves Will GrahamWill Graham Loves Hannibal LecterAlana DisapprovesRimmingOral SexBottom Hannibal LecterTop Will GrahamBottom Will GrahamTop Hannibal LecterWill Graham KnowsNon-Consensual Drug UseWill Gives Him Shit For ItMurder HusbandsCannibalismis that tag even necessary?Hannibal Lecter Loves Max

This was fluffier than I typically read, but I told y'all I love this author. Pretty much no angst, and the smut, as always, was next level. Also, the idea that Hannibal would wear a solid gold butt plug to his dinner parties had me laughing before I even started reading.

What Hatches by HotMolasses (@snazzymolasses here on tumblr)

Word Count: 107,847 Summary: There is a village, nestled on the edge of an ancient forest where it is always winter. Few of the townsfolk ever venture into it, except for one lonely hunter named Will Graham. A loner who makes his living selling stag meat and spends more time with dogs than people, he finds his life changing when he comes face-to-face with a magical beast, one that he cannot get away from, and isn’t even sure he really wants to.

What started out as a curiosity about the monsterfucking tag on AO3 brought me to one of the most unique and interesting hannigram AUs I've read??? I'm as surprised as you are, if not more. I adored this fic and I loved how both Will and Hannibal were characterized and the plot and the smut (oh my god, the smut) and the ending? Phew. Go read this.

lay like a flood spills away by bleakmidwinter

Word Count: 35,733 Summary: Will starts going to a nude beach that happens to be for gay men, even though he considers himself straight.

This was highly enjoyable. I LOVE AUs that manage to keep the characters true to canon. Also nude beaches. Hannigram and nude beaches. Eating ass and public sex with some actual plot sprinkled in. Say LESS.

Now, What Should We Do Next? by HigherMagic

Word Count: 51,116 Summary: Kinktober 2018

Smut. All smut. I showed this fic to a friend who has literally never read fanfiction, let alone Hannigram, before and she is now hooked. So. Do with that what you will. And it's so clear that this author has actual, real-life experience with kink and it comes across so well! Bonus point: there is also an equally good sequel.

To Mend With Gold by beforethedawn, ConstructFairytales, Destinyawakened

Word Count: 98,863 Summary: Will and Hannibal have been living as a gay married couple for three years, but they haven't slept in the same room let alone the same bed. Will Graham has a reckoning, one way or another.

THIS WAS TENDER. Fluffy, angsty, smutty, I loved it. Molly showed up with Will's dogs and decided she wasn't going to turn them in, which was a little weird, but I really loved this fic. Just them learning how to be with each other. Also EXCELLENT marathon smut scenes. Like yesssss, of course they can each cum like three times in a row.

A Clutch at Balance by Deverauxs_Disease

Word Count: 25,466 Summary: When Will Graham storms into Hannibal's house muttering about kissing Alana Bloom, the good doctor makes Will an offer: Pretend to date Hannibal in order to prove to Alana that Will is not only stable but capable of being in a relationship. When Alana is convinced Will is the man of her dreams, Hannibal will step aside and Will can get his girl.

Y'all know I love fake dating that all of a sudden, whoops! Isn't so fake anymore! Sprinkle in some jealous and possessive Hanni and Will? I'm sold. Say less.

~

And that's a wrap on this month! See ya next time!!!

[tssidesfics]

Updates

We've entered the holiday season, which I don't really give two shits about except kinda Halloween and even then I never do anything. But my abusive parents do, and the way they manifest that is, weirdly, by just increasing the abuse for the last three months of the year. I think I'm fine enough, but I'm going to be struggling with depression through the end of the year, meaning I likely won't get much written. It's all tricky writing from here on out with all my series.

Said series are: A Story of a Soul in All Its Stripes (best known: Morality Is Grey, my 100K+ word series about how I think Virgil defected from the Dark Sides including all the episodes written out with minor differences explained by Thomas remembering these conversations back to write the scripts). In All the Fifty-One and a Seventh Realms (uneducated disabled dhampir Virgil, disabled Janus/Remus in an anarchists-with-benefits relationship, namely exemplified by the one where Janus is cursed to be a politician and Remus insists an over-it succubus sex worker's help in saving him). And Superhero Toddler Roman, which speaks for itself, I think it's a pretty original concept. Along with many, many one-shots. Browse my AO3 and see if there's anything you recognize I've worked on. https://archiveofourown.org/users/thein273

If you have some spare money, and my writing has ever touched you in any way, please consider donating to my Paypal. I'm disabled in several ways, I can't work, I have months more at a minimum to wait on disability, and the only source of income I have isn't particularly helpful. I can't afford mentally to really do commissions right now except with very generous donations, but I've written a lot, and I've shared a lot with my communities. If I mean anything to to you as a writer, it would mean a lot to get just a little better of cushioning to get through the holidays, for my safety.

But there are also a lot of people who need the money more than me, so if it's between donating to a Palestinian family or me with your spare five dollars, choose the Palestinian family. Just check yourself so you're not giving money to one of those vile scam artists who are using people's real pain and unimaginable trauma and suffering to fleece well-meaning people out of a quick buck.

One of these days, I'll try to launch and maintain a Patreon, but that's for another day.

paypal.me/everdean03

[late-to-the-party-81]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

Thank you @metalbvcky. NPT for @mrs-illyrian-baby @doasyoudesireandlive @km-ffluv @labella420

🍓 How did you get into writing fanfiction?

As a teen I was a voracious reader and tried to write my own stuff based on other books I'd read. I also loved ST:TNG and wanted dearly to be in an episode and had lots of the books. I wrote my own ST stories with OC's (gratuitous self inserts), but they never went anywhere. In my late teens I read some Xena fanfic on the internet. But that was it for a great number of years.

At the beginning of 2021 I sat and watched the entirety of the MCU films in chronological order (I'd seen most of them before and was mainly a Thor gal.) I fell down the Stucky rabbithole. Deep. I decided to look up fanfic. AO3 was now a thing! I wrote (a very poor) Stucky fic and here we are, almost 3 years later

🍇How many fandoms have you written in?

As my ST stuff never made it further than my parent's old PC in the days of dial-up, I won't count it.

I've written for MCU, various Chris Evans and Seb Stan Characters and one fic for RWRB. I've been toying with writing a one-off Criminal Minds fic as a gift for a friend.

🍈How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Three in July since I first published anything on AO3.

🍎Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I try to balance it out. If I have a period of hyperfocus writing I try to then go through a period of reading. I read on both Tumblr and AO3, so try to keep that even as well.

🍌What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Getting betas to pick me up on tense changes, overuse of words and rogue commas. Reading more. Practising. Writing outlines for longer stories so I don't go off-piste.

🍑Do you have any bad habits as a writer?

Getting bored half-way through a long fic, especially if the first few parts haven't had a lot of interaction. Which is why I try to write the whole thing before I start posting.

🍍 What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Engineering courses at MIT and, for a separate fic, Violet wands, including the ways to use them and the differnt types of accessories you can use with them. I even watched a Youtube video.

🍉What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Any comment! Anything that gives me the validation I need!

🍐What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I wrote a transformation into Tsum-tsum fic that was both cracky and smutty. That's pretty niche.

🥭What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Action scenes. I loathe them. I'm constantly wondering if they are long enough, and make sense.

🍏What is the easiest type?

Short things that are either PWP or fluffy slices of life.

🍑Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

Mainly on my elderly laptop on G-Docs, and in every moment I can - normally afterwork before dinner and on Mondays when I don't have work.

🍋What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

There are a few characters and ships I haven't written that I'd like to. And I suppose I'd like to write a proper long, over 100k fic at some point.

🍇 what made you choose your username?

When I made my AO3 account I felt as though that at 40, and only really starting in Fandom in this way, I was late to the party, so that is who I became.

[mrssimply]

Are we not gonna talk about how Santino smiled at John here? :3

He was literally like :]

(It's just so cute to me)

Ok, I think this is going to be another Ted Talk here so i put it under the cut.

TLDR: Santino and John are both grieving when they meet again, this scene depict the fleeting moment where they're still friends before they destroy each other in their inability to process the emotional devastation of loss. John is of course grieving Helen, and Santino the image he has of himself, and the possibility to change it by making his father proud. Both react to grief the same way: by unleashing their violence against their environement, and each other first.

First, let's not forget this scene depicts two friends meeting after at least five years of not seing each other. Both of them are grieving; it's death that brings them together again after so long.

For a minute there, it's just two old friends rekindling a frienship.

Yet, we all know that the moment John opened the door (the moment the bell rang, actually), he knew this was fate calling. He might not have known it was Santino, but he definetly knew it was no simple guest at the door: not in the middle of the night, not right after what he'd done.

And when he opens the door, it's Santino D'Antonio, the man that made an impossible task possible, the man that made it possible for John to have five normal years with the woman he loved.

Despite this, Santino is such a bad omen, a litteral crow on the doormat, looking at John like "hello John, time to pay your due." There is no way John didn't know right away what was going to be asked of him (not the details, not exactly how, but he knew he was going to be asked something), and yet, he let Santino in, which is, in my opinion, a show of fucking trust?! Like: literally inviting the devil inside.

After thinking a bit longer about it (two years, 100k words later), it actually makes sense: John accepted the marker as the symbol of his debt for Santino's help, and believed him when he said he wouldn't use it as long as John stayed out. He didn't care what he was signing up for, because 1) he loved Helen to death, and 2) the trusted Santino to death. Just... I feel like I should say this louder: He trusted Santino to death.

John trusted him when he said he wasn't going to use it, because he knew him and Santino had always been a man of his word in John's experience.

In miror, what does it says about Santino that he risked "a lot" (his words, I believe) to help John against literally... a favor he didn't intend to call on? What does it says about him? It says that John really was his friend, that he is a man of honor, and that for him to use the Marker, he was not in his right state. Santino, I believe, asked for a Marker because he had to ask something in exchange for his help: nothing is free in the underworld, and I think it might have made him appear weak if he'd done it for free wheareas now, people could just wonder about what he got in exchange for his help. Furthermore, it's just for the benefit of the people who know he helped - which apaprently is not widely known, or else the Tarasov might have called the deal off, since John was supposed to do it alone.

Some might argue John accepting to give a marker to Santino was out of desperation. Maybe yes, it checks out because John is shown to be both naive and desperate in the movies. But I think he would've asked Winston about it if he didn't trust Santino, and he obviously didn't, since Winston is shown explaining it in the second movie (for our benefit maybe but it has consequences over characters motives and personality).

So let me rephrase that: Santino helped John in exchange for a marker that he didn't intend to use, and couldn't even brag about at the risk of nulifying John's freedom. And John accepted to give a Marker not knowing what it truly meant, to a man he fully trusted.

He was right to do so: Santino held his word and didn't call on it as long as John was out. I think he might have never called at all, but fate brought them back together due to the death of someone important in their lives. I won't say "someone they loved" because even if I believe Santino loved his father like most children do, their relationship certainly wasn't a good one.

Or else, why wouldn't he have chosen Santino as his heir? Being second born is one thing, but Santino is a man, and trust my lenghty research (or simply what you know about it cause it's pretty obvious): the mafia is not super woke (duh). The Camorra is actually a bit more modern than others, it has had female led clans and families, mostly after the second world war because yep, mafia or not, they got enroled into the army. Recently, they've shown a bit more tolerence toward homosexuality in their ranks, but it's not a very progressive environement.

So why did D'Antonio senior chose Gianna, his daughter, over the natural, logical heir, his son, the second born? The answer I think is pretty obvious: Santino was a disapointing son, and Gianna a very promising daughter.

I don't need a master in psychology (which, funily, I actually have) to tell you that Santino probably spent his whole life trying to prove himself to his father, with little result. The dice were always loaded from the start because as a boy, Santino received all the expectations of being the perfect heir from his father, and repetedly failed, whereas Gianna was always a nice surprise ("so a woman can be ruthless too, who would've thought? She is truly my daughter!"). She could do no wrong, he could only do wrong.

When D'Antonio senior died, Santino lost a lot of things beside just a father: he definetely lost the opportunity to prove his father (and himself) that he was worth anything, and he lost the life he was promised and raised for (the Camorra, the seat, the power). He also get the definitive proof that his father preferred his sister, and that he was a disapointment. So yeah. He's grieving, just not his father but the idea of his father, and himself. His life, his destiny? It all went down when his father died and it was revealed Gianna was the heir. Don't know if he knew beforehand but I got the feeling it was confirmed after the death of his father, seeing that his visit to John felt a bit spontaneous, but that might be just me.

So yeah.

Santino came to John, a friend apparently, and asked him to honor a promise John didn't fully understand at the time he made it. This is of course the moment it breaks their relationship, because it breaks John's trust in Santino, but when he pushes the Marker back, I think he still believe Santino will respect his decision (which, again, says something about Santino). Then the grenade launched really puts an end to that notion in a very spectacular manner.

Stahelski said John and Santino are mirrors (hence the scene in the museum) and it took me a while to understand it fully, I think. The mirror is in their grief, or rather their refusal to grieve what they lost, and the way they fight it until they get hurt, until they die or everyone dies around them.

Their grief is like a roar over all thoughts, and it's a scream you can hear all around the world.

It's the way those men grieve: by making it everyone's problem, for my delight when it's fictionalized character (less fun when they decide to become president or something in real life but not. the. point).

When I look at this second movie, I can practically hear them constantly scream internally. They turned back into wild animals, forgot all of their manner and just lashed out.

I think maybe Santino imagined John would understand him because of their shared grief, but grief made John deaf to everything. Koji asked him when it was going to stop and he had no answer, because if he stopped fighting, he risked being consumed by grief. Either way, his grief would have killed him, which was the only logical conclusion, just like for Santino. It consumed them too much.

They danced one last time in perfect harmony: killing each other to deafen their grief.

Ok, time to conclude!

Thank you again for this ask, and for all our conversations <3!

[14carrotghoul]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you to @cha-melodius @happiness-of-the-pursuit @myheartalivewrites and @firenati0n for tagging me! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ It's always fun to see these writer posts go around!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

27! One short of my lucky number 👀

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

114,876 (was soooo excited to pass 100k at the beginning of this year!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

RWRB :)

4. Top five fics by kudos:

Déjame Ver Cómo Es Que Floreces 

Solo Déjame Estar Junto a Ti 

Isn't She Lovely 

Whataburger, Whatanight  (very surprised by this one???)

Tiempo de Vals

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes!! I NEED all my inboxes/notifications to be zero and try to respond within a week. And I love giving my thanks and screaming back my love!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Thank You, Shaan :'(

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oof I write soooo many happy endings so idk!! The Las Flores series has made a LOT of people cry so I'll go with that!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Have been very lucky so far and I have not, however I have had more demanding comments lately :P like don't yell at me!!! Ask nicely!!!!

9. Do you write smut?

Nope

10. Craziest crossover:

No crossovers! Although I did write Philip as BAFTA president like prince will irl and the secondhand embarrassment is Real

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No and I would love to translate Déjame ver into Spanish someday (or at least the first part) but I haven't found the motivation, especially with the amount of wips I have

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No and I feel like I'd be either too anxious or too scattered to be a good writing partner! I put a lot of pressure on myself if I feel like someone is watching me (tis the catholicism 😔)

14. All time favorite ship?

Firstprince ❤️💙

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Oh nooooo I don't wanna jinx any! If anything I need some major rewriting for my dormant lost prince/Anastasia fic to make me happy. I wrote most of that one while essentially bedbound after a hospitalization and my mindset is very different now

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can get the happy, sappy tears flowing very easily! I also work hard on my dialogue and characterization and I'm pretty proud of both!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I tend to be very literal in my writing. Not a ton of poetic metaphor in it, which I would like to work on but it just doesn't come naturally to me! And I get pretty dialogue heavy.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

LOVE. Haven't indulged in it very much lately but I love it so much

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Twilight or Maximum ride. Idk I was 11 so it's fuzzy

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Déjame Ver Cómo Es Que Floreces and True Blue . Very different fics but there's not a word I would change in either!

Tagging @read-and-write- @inexplicablymine @tintagel-or-cockleshells @cricketnationrise @orchidscript @dumbpeachjuice @cultofsappho @kiwiana-writes @littlemisskittentoes @nocoastposts @xthelastknownsurvivorx @pirate-radiofriday @smc-27 @sprigsofviolets and anyone else that wants to share more about their writing!!

[killadelphias]

sprung from cages on highway nine

The details: Check Please. Alexei Mashkov/Dustin Snow. Rating: M Words: 11k/?? Chapters: 1/12 Summary: In a little beach town on an island in South Jersey, two best friends have spent over a decade causing havoc and making the most of their summers working together at the amusement park attached to the boardwalk. Alexei Mashkov leaves every fall to work for his father's Europe-based hockey team while Dustin Snow remains in the states, secretly pining for his best friend and fighting through his eternal identity crisis. He claims to hate his hometown, but love and nostalgia keep him tethered, while denying that Alexei is the reason he sticks around Wildcrest. Dustin desperately needs to make a life change, but you can’t start a fire worrying about your little world falling apart.

This fic is dedicated to my bff @dexondefense who has watched and listened to me procrastinate finishing this very self-indulgent fic for about five years. The check please fandom is kinda stagnant, but I wrote this mostly for myself and anyone who may happen to click and give it a shot. It's a fairly long slow burn, but a labor of love on my part. Sitting in my drafts at over 100k words, I basically wrote a novel! To anyone who reads it, peace and love and an eternal thank you.

[cirrus-grey]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @magnetarmadda; thank you!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

252, of which a full 227 are TMA

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

905,246

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Recently? TMA/TMagP, Discworld, and Good Omens. I'll jump into anything that gives me plot bunnies though, and there's been quite a few different ones over the years!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Yesterday is Here

Déjà Vu

Misfiled and Misinformed

Humanity

Against All Probability

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always! I try to clear my inbox weekly and/or before I post a new fic, though I'm falling a bit behind right now with JonMartinWeek.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmm, probably Wedding Blues - it's a bad-ending Lonely!Martin fic

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

So, I write a lot of happy endings and I'm not sure how to rank them. Probably either Yesterday is Here again, or the Castaways series.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I think I've only ever gotten one hate comment? So no, not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I... try? I'm not very good at it and it takes absolute ages. It's been described as "very polite" smut, though I'm attempting to get a little raunchier with it as I get more practice.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yeah, I've written a couple! The craziest is probably the first one I did, a Good Omens/Skulduggery Pleasant crossover that I'm still quite fond of.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep, Unsent and Courage in the Dark have both been translated into Russian!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't know if I can give just one, honestly. For different reasons, both JonMartin (TMA) and Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens, primarily book not show).

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

This is a throwback but I still have notes for an epic, multi-part, 100k Gracious/Donegan origin story fic from back in my Skulduggery Pleasant days. I wasn't a good enough writer back then to finish something that ambitious and I doubt I'll ever get invested enough in the fandom again to go back to it... but it still lives on in my daydreams.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm... I'm good at conveying character emotions in a scene, and with pacing a story to make sure each new development or twist lands the way I want it to. I like to think I've got a knack for making dialogue sound in-character as well, even if I've put the characters in a situation that their canon selves would never be in.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes. Balancing conversations between more than two people without having some of them drop off or dominate the scene. Keeping track of large casts of characters in general - I've written so many 2-person romances, I just don't have practice with larger groups.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I love it when other people do, but it's not something I've attempted myself. I'm only fluent in English and I'd worry that I'd written something completely inaccurate if I had to rely on google translate or similar.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Good Omens! (Book)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh, do not ask me that, I beg of you. There are about a hundred fics I've written that could all qualify, depending on the day and what mood I'm in.

...I'll say Vous, et nul autre, for now, because I'm really proud of how that one turned out and the fact that I finished it at all - it's one of those that I had the idea for years before I was good enough to write it, and I really like being able to look at it now and see how far I've come.

Tagging... @my-lonely-angel, @fridayyy-13th, @grahamfolgersdeliciousnotebooks - only if y'all want to!

[ghaniblue]

HP Rec Fest: days 10-13

I neglected my reccing duties. This happens when you don't prep and queue all posts beforehand. Did I prep and queue the upcoming posts yet? Of course not. Onwards!

@hprecfest prompts: A fest fic, a dark fic, a WIP I'm following and a fic with >100k words. 2 Drarry and 2 Wolfstar recs.

Nature pricks them on to ramp and rage (21014 words) by @goblinmatriarch (Drarry, Explicit)

Lord Draco Malfoy may be a young man spending time in Dumbledore’s summer court, but that does not mean he needs to succumb to its licentious frivolity. He carries the burden of his lineage, the shadow of rumours, and the dignity of his betrothal to a good match. He is certainly not fool enough to be distracted by the dark curls and ready grin of the court’s stableboy, who seems to have taken up with every courtier who looks his way.

For the fest fic, I give you my favourite story from this year's @hp-bodiceripper fest. It made me laugh so much every time a bucket was mentioned. I need more stableboy!Harry fics in my life. Or to say it in Draco's words: "Surely, Draco had the self-control to be around a saucy drop-trou and his hypnotic bucket-related coquetry without succumbing." Spoiler: he did not.

Do not miss the embedded 12th century rimming debate. It is glorious.

Railway Lands (65012 words) by Maelipstick (Drarry, Explicit)

Draco finds his own way to cope with being a failed Death Eater at Voldemort's headquarters. Voldemort finds a way to destroy the wizarding world even after his death. Harry is trying to hold the world together while his mind quietly comes apart. Warnings for graphic drug use, depression and suicidal ideation, Draco being an arsehole, sex work, criminality, non-con sexual situations, shifting POVs, ofc werewolves, self neglect and self harm, general unprettiness, unplanned parenthood and references to other works of fiction.

This dark fic got its hooks in me during my last time in Drarry fandom. It's pretty unrelenting. I haven't re-read it in a long time but it's still rattling around my brain.

Gathering Home by Quietlemonhush (Wolfstar, 20/?, 74k, Explicit)

Remus flipped the light on and sucked in a breath as he looked over his classroom, as neat and tidy as he had left it the day before. The room exuded warmth, colorful and bright, playmats on the floor and books stacked up along the walls, little boxes of crayons on all of the tables. By the end of the day, ten kindergarteners would arrive to what was functionally their second home, to once again tear it to smithereeens. Eleven, Remus corrected himself—four months into the school year, a new student was joining their class.

Remus shouldn’t be attracted to Sirius Hill, not when Remus is responsible for teaching his five-year-old little brother to read and count, and especially not with that mysterious baby strapped to Sirius’s chest. He shouldn’t. He isn’t. He is not.

Really.

This canon-divergent, trans!Sirius raising Regulus und Harry fic is both a comfort fic and a story hurting my heart in the worst ways. Every single thing this little Reggie says hurts every one of my feelings, and Sirius is trying so damn hard to take care of his boys, and then there is Remus and his mother, who are both so bloody lovely I can't stand it.

marginalia (266547 words) by @spindrifters (Wolfstar, ensemble, 52/59, Explicit)

This story began a long time ago. That part is already written. Nothing can be done about it now. It began with two young men—barely more than boys—who upended the world, magical and mundane alike. Grindelwald and Dumbledore, glorious leaders of the revolution, who brought wizardkind out of hiding and into the light during those last, violent days of 1899. But a winter's night seventy-seven years later is where things really kick off. Because Remus Lupin knows what to expect when you’ve been sold somewhere new. He knows it better than he ever thought he'd have to by this point. He knows how to survive. And Sirius Black is doing his best to just graduate Hogwarts and get himself and his brother away from this goddamn house. He's got it figured out by now. He has a plan. Neither of them, however, had accounted for the other messing everything up by the mere fact of just existing.   (Or, the one where Sirius is heir to a pureblood first family and Remus is a half-blood servant, but a chance meeting leads to healing old wounds, stumbling into love, and just maybe accidentally kickstarting a revolution.)

For my second WIP and >100k fic, I picked this marvel of world building. I'm only at chapter 28 so I need to catch up before this WIP is no longer a WIP. The breadth of characters, backstory and universe creation is incredible. I often get bored with fics this long, but this one is so immersive and ernest in the best ways. You can tell the author wants to tell this story honestly and truly. It is a pure joy. You probably heard of this story already if you're into Wolfstar. It really is that good. Also, Pigoletta is recording the story as a podfic.

>> rec fest masterlist <<

[echodrops]

The Promises I Made (2023)

Oh man. Oh man.

At the end of last year, I said that I had really struggled through 2022 and hoped that 2023 would be an easier year, but also that I didn't want to count any chickens. Which was... ultimately the right mindset to have, because 2023 was even worse for me than 2022. Between the stressors of work, money, and things just falling apart on me left and right (car is still in need of $3000 worth of work...), I couldn't be more glad that 2023 is over.

Consequently, it was a very bad year for promises. Possibly the worst year I've ever had since I started, actually. Oof, icing on the cake after all the disappointment I dealt with this year.

Still, a tradition is a tradition. Here are the promises I made for this last year!

2023 Promises

1) Work on the Texas house yard. It’s still never really recovered from the frost that killed everything in 2021 and it looks pretty shabby right now.

Status: Broken, mostly. I did have the gardener come and do a lot of trimming as well as take out one dead tree, but still, one dead tree remains, and the tree in the backyard has grown roots so big now that they've exposed a underground wire, so uhhhh... gonna have to deal with that this year...

2) Get both bedroom floors sanded in the Utah house upstairs.

Status: Broken. This just didn't happen. No money. But it really, really needs to happen soon though... Oof...

3) Get the Utah house sprinklers up and working ALL the way for this summer.

Status: Broken. This is the hardest promise on this list, I swear to god. This city in Utah has NO ONE who is willing to work on normal residential sprinklers. Please someone save me.

4) Actually get the back fence fixed up and the greenery back there trimmed and managed.

Status: Broken. Well, one day...

4) Put a new sink/vanity in the downstairs bathroom of the Utah house.

Status: Broken. I sure... made a lot of promises about the Utah house, didn't I... Where did I think all this money would come from...

5) Related to that, lose at least 20 pounds. 2020-2022 was not kind to me and the stress eating was real.

Status: Broken. I didn't gain weight this year but I didn't lose any either. RIP.

6) Take my mom on a road trip to one of the U.S. states that she has not been to before.

Status: Broken. I was busy all summer and we just didn't do this.

7) Get back in touch with the allergy specialist to continue working on my allergy/inflammation issues.

Status: Broken. Yikes, seven in a row without a single kept promise. Anyway, I did want to do this, but again, the surgery they want me to have will take all my insurance and then $2000 out of pocket. It's just... not going to happen...

8) Go through my closets and donate or throw away clothes that I know I will not wear.

Status: KEPT. Oh my god, one I actually did. I ended up donating SO MANY shirts to Goodwill.

9) Finish at least five books this year.

Status: Broken. I finished two I believe. But... maybe the 50+ 100k word fanfics I read this year could count instead?

10) Organize my documents (especially student papers)—my desktop and documents folders give me nightmares just looking at them. 

Status: Broken. Jesus, why am I so allergic to this promise? I think it's been on the list for like three years running now.

11) Help Kacchan through her first semester as a teacher! Exciting!!

Status: According to Kacchan herself, this promise has been kept. Go me.

12) Get a decent paper shredder to shred old mail. 

Status: Kept! I finally got a shredder!!

13) Clean off my back patio/car port area so I can park my car there again.

Status: Broken. Literally there's not that much stuff out there other than my coworker's old bikes she dumped on me. Why have I not done this...

14) Get the Texas house dishwasher fixed… I’m so tired of washing dishes by hand… How do people do this, oof.

Status: Kept! I got a newwww dishwasherrrrrr. I am so happy...

15) 100% complete FF16 babyyyyy!!

Status: Broken. I played it, but did not 100%. Too busy. TvT

16) Talk to an HR rep about my retirement savings so that I can consolidate my retirement accounts. I have been putting this off for like five years now.

Status: Broken. I think this has been on the list for years too. And given the current uncertainty of my workplace, I honestly think at this point I might be better off not asking anyone who works there for any financial advice...

17) Do at least one artwork to actually use that new paint program I bought. 

Status: Broken. Well, I THOUGHT about it. Does that count?

18) Pay my credit debt down by at least $2000. I’m still paying off the hell year but I hope I can make progress on this.

Status: Broken. The hell year of last year became Hell Year 2.0, Economic Boogaloo this year. So many things went wrong and had to be paid for. My wallet is C R Y I N G.

19) Finish making changes to master courses. No more major revisions!

Status: You know what, I'm going to count this as kept, because we're now down to the really specific courses that only one or two professors teach. So, close enough!!

20) See a zone-tailed hawk. This is another rare-but-possible bird for my area.

Status: Kept! Conveniently, one flew over my car one day?? I got only a terrible cellphone photo, but I did see it. Yay!

21) Attend the FFXIV Fanfest in Las Vegas!

Status: Broken. I tried!! But I did not win the lottery for a ticket, so I was not able to go. This one was pretty much out of my hands, though.

22) Update HaaH at least once. Please, Echo???

Status: ...I'm sorry, forgive meeee. OTL

23) Get the small leak fixed in the side bathroom of the Texas house and have the faucets replaced.

Status: Plumbers are... so expensive... Broken.

24) Look into the cost of light housekeeping services to give myself a little more time to do things that aren’t work.

Status: Technically kept... in that I did look into the costs... But ultimately, I chickened out of contacting anyone. I don't know why, but I feel like even if I got a housekeeper, I would be so embarrassed by my house being messy, I would frantically clean it the day before the housekeeper arrived anyway...

25) Catch up with hanging up all the charms/pins I’ve gotten recently on my corkboards; these are just sitting in boxes/bags around the house. D;

Status: Broken. My god, I thought about doing this so many times this year but I just never did it... I even both MORE charms and then didn't hang them.

26) Use Spotify more often or cancel my Spotify Premium subscription; it’s not worth it if I don’t use it.

Status: Kept. I cancelled it when they decided to raise the price. Cancelled Amazon Prime and Netflix this year too. Honestly way too tired of companies raising the prices of subscription services while offering LESS quality than in prior years.

27) Get an art display book to preserve my great grandfather’s artworks.

Status: Kept. They are safeeeee now.

28) Fix the screens on the Texas house.

Status: Broken. Probably for the best I didn't do this though, since the dog developed a habit of scratching at the office WINDOW to be let back into the house...

29) Bird watch at a specific location in Texas. It’s my secret where since I’d rather not share my specific location on social media, but let’s hope I can finally make it to this place!

Status: Kept. I didn't see many birds there though, RIP.

30) Finally get rid of the dirt pile in the front of the Utah house.

Status: Broken. I feel like the dirt pile is getting smaller and smaller over time as erosion takes its natural course, but I didn't really do anything to decrease the pile this year.

31) Sign NeNe (my puppy) up for the intermediate dog training course.

Status: Broken. I thought about this several times, but decided not to in the end. I wasn't massively impressed by the trainer she had for her puppy class, and honestly she's pretty decent at learning things at home anyway.

32) This is super nerdy, but my bro got me the FFXIV cookbook and made me promise to actually use it, so I guess I’d better at least try to make something from it.

Status: Broken. I keep making this promise and continually forget it, over and over.

33) Take down the remains of the wooden fence posts at the Utah house.

Status: Broken. This one I could have done and just... did not do. I'm pretty useless.

34) Take part in the fitness challenge at work this coming semester.

Status: Broken. To be fair to me though, in August I fractured my pelvis and basically couldn't do anything past basic walking all the way until December so I kind of have a semi-reasonable excuse for this one.

35) I will remember to take my medicine on time, all the time. Taking them late is messing things up quite a bit.

Status: Mostly kept. There was a night or two where I did forget, but since I literally require this medicine to live, I can basically immediately tell when I need to take it again, so most nights I do take it on time.

36) Get a stand for the toaster oven in the break room so we can finally use it!

Status: I'm going to count this as kept even though we did not get a new stand. Instead, we rearranged the order of the room to make it possible to fit both the toaster over and the microwave on the same countertop. So the toaster oven can indeed be used now!

37) Get my car detailed because the inside really needs to be vacuumed.

Status: Broken. My god, the car needs this so desperately now. But... money...

38) Go horseback riding on the island. I’ve never ridden on a beach before!

Status: Broken. Nobody really seemed that interested in going with me, and I thought it would be weird to go alone...

39) Eat healthier. Maybe cutting out snacks is too much to ask, but at least replace some average meals with salads, etc. and overall make an effort to actually eat better. Sometimes the fact that I feel like garbage is my own fault.

Status: Broken. The stress eating was extreme this last year. Please save me.

40) Wait, I should probably acquire a Playstation 5 so I can actually play my new copy of FF16, lol.

Status: Kept.

41) Help make sure the new tutoring requirement for the English classes goes over well.

Status: Kept, in that I did the best I could with a very, very weird plan. We immediately abandoned this plan the moment the grant expired anyway, since no one liked what admin had wanted us to do.

42) Finish decorating the main office. I’ll feel better if my workplace reflects the level of professionalism and school spirit that I envisioned it having this year.

Status: Broken, and I'm not going to roll this one over to the next year because I am 100% stepping down from my current administrative position and going back to being a full-time instructor again, so I will not need to decorate the main office anymore! Whoo!

43) Catch every variant of Vivillon in Pokemon Go. I’m currently missing Icy Snow, Marine, Meadow, Monsoon, Ocean, Polar, River, Sandstorm, Savanna, Sun, and Tundra, if anyone would like to be friends!

Status: Broken. I caught some of the ones I was missing but I really didn't play as much Pokemon Go this year. Broken pelvis decreasing walking ability but also just got tired of the game pushing more and more microtransactions, so I kinda took a longggg break.

44) Try to be more comprehensive with giving feedback to students. I’m always good at providing detailed comments on essays, but I’d like to spend more time commenting on smaller assignments too this year.

Status: Broken. Every year I try, every year I feel like I still haven't given enough. Maybe the issue with this promise is that I don't really know what is "enough" for the students compared to what I personally think I should give...

45) Make sure the retirement party for my coworkers who retired this year goes off without a hitch and honors them well.

Status: Kept. Oh, this was so nice and so much fun. It was really great seeing the retiring faculty members so emotional over how much we were able to honor them and their contributions to the school.

46) Take part in more activities on campus; I have a tendency to not attend many events because they’re in the evening when I’m tired, but I should really stay more often.

Status: Kept, though mostly by necessity. I kept constantly getting called in to help on things, even in other departments.

47) Write some Chainsaw Man fanfic for @mistystarshine!

Status: Broken. I'm so sorry, this just did not happen. I wish my work schedule was manageable instead of actually insane. There are so many things I want to write and do for myself, rather than for work...

48) Help my parents tear out the carpet in my old childhood bedroom.

Status: Broken. My mom talked about it a lot, but it never ended up happening.

49) Do something to destress (massage, pedicure, something?) at least once per month. I gotta take better care of myself…

Status: Broken. So broken. I only got more stressed this year. More and more and more and more...

50) I will keep my promises! 

Status: Oof, mostly broken. Next year I'm going to set a reminder for myself so that I remember to check my promises every few weeks or something...

Kept promises: 15

Broken promises: 35

Another year, another chance, I guess. See you all in 2024!

[aparticularbandit]

Top 5 Things You've Written That You're Most Proud Of!

Ask Me My "Top 5" Anything....

CrossRoads. Which is not posted anywhere except on Facebook, and even then it's only the first...2/3 of it? I think? I've used it a bit here and there in some of my RP stuff and have tried to reboot it and done some of that here and there but. The original CrossRoads was the first full length novel I finished writing. It took me...three? years? Yeah. So this.

Soulless. Which also I haven't posted publicly anywhere. But this is my book that delves into the soulmate timer world I built. (You in particular would like this. For reasons.) But of all of the soulmate timer stuff I've written, this one is my favorite and the one I'm probably the most proud of. Because I finally figured out how to novel it.

Surrogate.

Luisa and the Fox. Maybe this shouldn't be on Top 5 proud but. It's one of my favorite things I've ever written, and it's the singular one of my fanfic that I've printed out and have in a binder (with a fanmade cover! Actually!), so like. This goes on this list.

Finding Family (and really also this should include the Finding Family Holiday Special because it's part of the original). Because I can't a Top 5 list of things I'm proud of without mentioning this. This mammoth thing. This nearly 375k fic (it passes that if you include the Holiday Special. Which you should) that I wrote in five months and for a while was posting a chapter a day - sometimes two chapters a day (I think maybe three chapters one day? I think) - and which gave me a month of over 100k in one month (and the next month was 90k) like. This mammoth thing. Praise God for this thing because like. I'm so proud of this thing. And I'm so proud that I actually finished it. And I'm so proud that I was able to give it the ending it was meant to have - the one I planned from the beginning - and that like. It evolved and expanded and the community that grew up around it and discussed it with me and left comments like. This fic. is SO important to me. And like. I can't words this one fully, I don't think. And that's okay.

[physalian]

(decided to throw this ask here since ur last post encouraged me to lol)

tl;dr: going thru a breakup with my current WIP so I'm in limbo and can't move on to a new one

I'm actually not working on anything right now because I'm going through a form of breakup with a WIP I had worked on for so long (6+ years).

My beta readers (3) deemed it uninteresting and full of plot holes from the start. I thought the amount of editing and rewriting I put it through helped with that, but now I believe the problem runs deeper. Maybe it's the plot itself that's too underdeveloped or something.

Long story short, I decided I didn't want to give the trilogy more time (I've given it enough already) so I'm moving on. But it's kind of hard to pick up something new when all I've known for so many years is this one WIP. I even had noncanon fanfic about it just for fun.

Any thoughts, takes or advice is welcome really! And thank you for your time ofc 🌸

I actually had this happen. I had a WIP I started in 2016, unofficially abandoned last year—mentioned it a few times across my posts as the sci-fi WIP with multiple POV. What had happened was that I started writing it my freshman year of college, and the person I grew into through college had completely different goals from freshman me, which meant the very foundations of my world and my characters were no longer meshing no matter how many times I tried to fix the plot.

It didn’t have any holes and my betas said they were interesting enough, but it was a five-book series and upon starting book 3, I just could not figure out how to move on. I had too many characters with conflicting arcs, too many directions I wanted to take it, and it was deeply political (shaped by the 2016 election year) and I just got exhausted with the tone and the parallels to the real world. It wasn’t fun anymore, and a couple of my characters were my therapy stress balls, and I put them through hell that I wouldn’t be comfortable publishing today.

So it sits there, mostly abandoned, while I steal names and themes and a few monologues that fit in Eternal Night. The breath of fresh air I had when starting Eternal Night, a brand-new world with brand-new stakes and brand-new characters that could be whatever I wanted? 100k word first draft was written in 31 days and went straight to beta readers. That sci-fi WIP had multiple magic systems, was deeply political with a lot of moving parts, a rather large ensemble cast that had nearly doubled by book 3. I designed my own alphabet and language, I had cover art and maps done for the first book, I was writing fanfic crossovers in my head with my characters and other media I liked. It was my writing career, everything centered around it.

Eternal Night actually began as me ripping my two favorite characters from that WIP and tossing them into a kind of ‘fanfic’ and seeing what happened. To this day, I still accidentally think of my protagonist and deuteragonist using their original names from the old WIP, and my protagonist's name was only updated like, last week on my character excel sheet, because I never noticed. Whenever I need a new fantasy word in my much-less-robust fantasy languages for Eternal Night, I consult the language matrix I made for the old WIP and change some letters around where needed so in a way, it lives on.

It took me until about halfway though Eternal Night to start actually caring about the new iterations and the rest of the new cast of characters, going through the motions with zero plan, until it kind of hit all at once. Suddenly I could imagine their faces and how they sounded and what dreams and aspirations they’d have. I was rooting for them to succeed and daydreaming about different ways I could take their arcs, what themes I wanted to explore with them.

And now Eternal Night is due back from my editor, today, and it’s about to go up for preorder on Amazon.

So, advice? Just because you abandon a long-running WIP doesn’t mean it was a waste of time. That’s six years of practice, six years of trial and error trying to make it work. There’s no reason you can’t take your favorite aspects and blend them up into something new. Write your own ‘fanfic’ with your favorite characters. Hell, make it a coffee shop AU, and see what happens. You might find yourself onto something to reignite that spark.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hello there! 💜💚 i hope you're well and have enough time for tea, baths and all the other lovely self-care stuff 💚💜

i would like to ask you a question... i feel a bit dumb asking this but... what are the different types of fanfics? like- i know what fluff, angst and smut is. and i know what's an AU, and more or less the concept of omegaverse (i think...)

but when is a ficlet a ficlet? or a oneshot a oneshot? what is a 221b? a drabble? idk if there are more but i guess i just don't really understand the differences between the lengths of them? does this make sense..?

i've been confused about this for a while and can't quite figure it out. if you'd help out i'd very much appreciate it!

ps: please don't be too judgy about me not knowing this *hides*

Hey Nonny!

AWW thanks!! I love tea, baths and lots of self-care, just very bad at giving any of it to myself, haha!

And NONNY, please know that there are NO judgements here at all! PLEASE don't feel bad!! Fandom isn't something you magically know overnight! <3 And it's always okay to ask! <3

Before I answer your question, I highly recommend you peruse the Fanlore Wiki; it's a good place for new people to learn about fandom terms and history, so check it out if you need further clarification, as my answers are based on my understanding of each of the things you're asking about from being in TOO many fandoms for TOO many years, LOL.

I'm not going to go into everything, since fandom is SO huge and there's so much about it that I can't cover it all, hence the link to Fanlore, so here are immediate answers to some of your questions:

Drabble: A fic that's exactly 100 words

A 221b Ficlet: A fanfiction exclusive to the multiple variants of Holmesian fandoms that's exactly 221 words long, and the VERY last word of the fic starts with "b".

Ficlet: A short story, usually under 1,000 words but can be a little more.

Oneshot / vignette: A short, single chapter "scene" fic, essentially a story covering a missing scene or an out-of-context situation. In a similar vein, there's Two-Shots, which is basically a oneshot but from two different perspectives (ie. First chapter is situation from character A's POV, and Chapter 2 is from Character B's situation).

Podfic: An audiobook of a fanfiction. If you prefer to listen to stories, rather than read them, there are a tonne of amazing podficcers recording stories in multiple fandoms.

Five and One (and variations of): A story that depicts "Five times that Character [verb] [insert situation here] and one time [insert contradicting situation here]". It's basically 6 one-shots in a single story that has the last "one time" situation be a feel-good FINALLY ending. Some authors split them up into single chapters per situation, and others write the whole story as a single chapter.

Meta / Metafic: An essay or story based on analysing a piece of media. The Fic version expands upon a theory within a given fandom so that the theory fits into the narrative of the show.

WIP: Acronym for "Work In Progress", which is an unfinished published story. Some authors "write as they post" while others finish multiple chapters prior to posting them, but only post chapters one at a time on a scheduled basis, which keeps people coming back to the story until the end. The latter USUALLY guarantees a full-story inevitably being posted, so it is the more preferred type of WIP.

Short Story: a story under about 10,000 words

Novella: a story between 20 and 50K words

Novel: Anything over 50K words. I think past a certain number (100K?) it becomes an Epic, but I'm not 100 on it. Google says it's a story that spans multiple "books" and time periods, so I'm not sure.

Hope that helps a little bit, Nonny, and PLEASE don't hesitate to ask if you come across some other terms you would like to know from a fandom-old's perspective! We love helping y'all out! <3 NEVER feel dumb, please. There's no shame in asking for help. And if someone made you feel dumb because of it, FUCK 'EM.

[nicohverse]

Entropic Float in 2023: An Update!

 Happy New Year, everybody!

It's 2023 and I have a lot of plans! I'll start out by offering reminders that there's a survey to influence the contents of the Entropic Float DLC (Letters To A Beloved Ghost) and make sure that you get to see your favorite characters again, as well as a few pieces of official Entropic Float Merch available on my etsy store. There are stickers of the full cast, keychains of the protagonists and antagonist, and pin buttons of each standard ending- But if there's a particular piece of merchandise you'd want to see, feel free to contact me and let me know.

Entropic Float: Letters To A Beloved Ghost

As mentioned above, there's a survey to influence this DLC's content, but that doesn't mean I don't have plans for it! In fact, I already have a few of the side stories drafted. The DLC will be 5 USD or included in any pledge to the Entropic Float 2 Kickstarter. It will feature all new original art and music, and over 100k words of new content. By reading letters to you exploring unseen moments, past and present, you'll accumulate points toward meeting with somebody who's been hoping to meet you since long before you were invited to the clocktower. Not all letters will be required to finish the DLC's story, but all will be available.

Some side stories haven't yet been planned, as the survey is still open- But those that have been drafted include the pasts of Shinjiro Nozomi's friends, an oddly magical discovery at a small concert attended by Jasper Jasmine Jekyll, and a classic 'battle so we can become friends' between witches. Some will provide closure to doors left ajar in Entropic Float- Others will open up brand new doors for the sequels to shut- And others still will simply give you more time with the dear friends you made over the course of the game.

I plan to close the survey on 03/31/2023, and hope to have the DLC ready for release by the end of summer 2023.

Entropic Float 2: Land Of The Witch

I'm going to begin work in earnest on EF2 now that the new year has begun. I didn't 100% keep to my plan of not starting till the new year, but I managed to at least sort of take a break! I'm not going to be jumping right back into biweekly development updates, because this game has a lot more ground-up building to be done and I have a lot of other things to square away- I'd rather not post the same 'I got some of the point-and-click working the way I imagined' update too many times. I'll update once a month until development is progressing strongly enough to share more.

But you'll be getting introduced to the cast of the game quite soon- In next month's update, most likely! Though character trailers will come a bit later down the line.

Entropic Float 2: Land Of The Witch is... A point and click adventure game focusing on the 'Pine Creek Anomaly'. One year after the resolution of the anomalous clocktower in the Black Rock Desert, Kanatsune Ame is assigned a similarly difficult case. A rural town in the Appalachian Mountains disappeared five years ago- And the Anomaly in its place has only recently signaled its presence by opening an invitation. What will the World Anomaly which stole the town of Pine Creek reveal?

I can't give a timeline on EF2's development quite yet, but I'm tentatively hoping to run a Kickstarter in summer 2023, so that pledges to the Kickstarter can be swiftly translated into the reward of the Letters To A Beloved Ghost DLC. Before running the Kickstarter, I hope to have a demo ready to play, so that I can put my best foot forward. After all, EF2 is going to be a point-and-click adventure, not just a visual novel- Though I do plan, for accessibility, to also offer a 'kinetic novel version' in which the events of the game are arranged into a semi-canon order of experience.

The demo will of course be free, and will cover from the beginning of the game through to the first open exploration area.

The full game will be priced at 15 USD. While Kickstarter reward tiers will be determined closer to its launch, pledges of 5 USD will include the Beloved Ghost DLC only, while pledges of 15 USD or more will include both the DLC and Entropic Float 2, essentially giving you the DLC for free if you pledge at 15 USD exactly. I wish I could offer EF2 for the same zero-dollar price point as the first game, but I hope that the increased production value will make up the difference!

Any Other Projects?

Well, I wouldn't put this category here if I didn't have some other stuff going on. I'm considering participating in a few gamejams with short and sweet VNs. I'm also doing the art for an RPG that a friend of mine is writing. And of course, I'm selling on etsy, taking commissions, and working a day job. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just devote all my time to gamedev... Alas. Well, that's all I've got for now. Thanks for tuning in! More to come!