#give me a four series long animated tv show of the books

[extant-exhaustion]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

I love this question! :D I'm going to keep my initial answer to the fandoms I blog about, 'cause if we start going into books and things, I think I'll fry my brain trying to narrow it down. But definitely ask again if you'd like me to try books or other media! (And sorry it’s taken so long for me to answer. Life has been crazy, so it took me literal months to type this out. But I appreciate you asking so much and will answer much faster in the future.)

It was a struggle to keep it to 10, but here we go! (My initial "short list" was 25, so I'm thrilled to have narrowed it down, haha. But I did have to compromise by giving you a Top 10 list that's in no particular order, because ranking them within the ranking would be basically impossible.) See "keep reading" for reasons why I love them!

Edward Elric

Kagami Taiga

Korra

Urameshi Yusuke

Greedling

Kuwabara Kazuma

Amajiki Tamaki

Winry Rockbell

Killua Zoldyck

Kageyama Tobio

Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Ed is the best written shonen protagonist of all time. His growth is incredible and Arakawa shows it beautifully. He starts the series so young, but he’s not even close to naïve. He’s been through hell already. And he loves his brother, and FMA is powered by that sibling relationship, and I’m a huge sucker for sibling dynamics. (I’m one of four myself.) He’s wicked smart, but it’s shown how hard he works for that. And he’s kind. He truly wants to help people. His emotions are also on full display throughout the series which we don’t always get from shonen protags. He’s a stunningly well-rounded character whose story is full of amazing moments that make me love him even more. “That’s the only thing I’ve ever been—just a simple human.”

Kagami Taiga, Kuroko's Basketball

I love this boy so goddamn much. He’s so good-hearted and soft and perfect. And he’s the type of person I think everyone would want to have in their corner. He’s introduced like he’s going to be this huge jerk, but we quickly learn he’s just a complete doofus who sucks at communicating and expressing himself. He’s loud and brash and cocky, but he just…he loves basketball so much, and he grows so much through playing with Seirin and facing the Generation of Miracles. And specifically, he grows because of his relationship with Kuroko. It’s really the most lovely not-quite-canon sports anime romantic relationship. “Don’t you dare give up, ya hear me? Just sit tight for now. I’ll go out there and show him.”

Korra, The Legend of Korra

Korra truly means everything to me. She was one of the first openly and explicitly bisexual characters I ever saw in media who wasn’t forced to suffer and be miserable because of that. And she’s so strong and so cool. And I love that she’s a flawed character—she feels jealousy and rage and fear and hopelessness. But she keeps fighting. She always comes back and does the right thing. Seasons 3 and 4 are incredible and devastating in equal parts, and I really can’t understand how anyone could not love Korra after seeing her break down and rebuild herself. “Even though we should learn from those who came before us, we must also forge our own path.”

Urameshi Yusuke, Yu Yu Hakusho

The shonen protagonist whose development is the clearest, Yusuke is the most fun punk jackass who grows into a slightly more mature punk jackass (never losing an ounce of his comedic genius along the way). He’s so chaotic and stupid, but his North Star never changes, and that’s his love for his girl, Keiko. I could (and definitely will someday) write a whole post about the genuine love Yusuke and Keiko have for each other, because I really do think it’s some of Togashi’s best writing. But also, Yusuke is just a really fantastic character. He’s strong as hell (of course), but he’s also weak. He faces loss and death and defeat. He watches the people closest to him face their deaths because he isn’t strong enough to protect them; and he breaks my heart because he’s trying so hard, but sometimes it’s not enough. But as he grows and puts his life on the line and protects his friends (and multiple worlds) again and again and again, it becomes obvious just how far he’s come from some punk kid who no one but Keiko believed in. “All right, Yusuke, you’ve tried everything else. Now it’s time to be stupid.”

Greedling, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

So, this is kind of cheating, because Greed and Ling Yao are two different characters, but they share a body for a lot of the show, and they’re so intrinsically linked in my mind that I’m gonna count them as one. I just love these two so much! Their dynamic is so funny to me. They’re both so sassy and clever, and they’re so passionate. I especially love when they finally start working together rather than fighting against each other. They become so bad-ass and their friendship is really obvious. The way they grow to mean so much to each other is everything to me. I guess there really is nothing closer than having somebody who lives in your own head. “Greed may not be good, but it’s not so bad, either. You humans think greed is just for money and power. But everyone wants something they don’t have.”

Kuwabara Kazuma, Yu Yu Hakusho

If you told me I had 10 seconds to choose a character who’s too good for this world, I’d probably settle on Kuwabara. Because this boy is pure, unadulterated good. He truly believes in a code of honor. He does what’s right. He’d rather die than do something underhanded or something that would harm an innocent person. And he’s so loyal and so kind. He loves so much. Be it his friends, his sister, his kitten...he just loves. And he’s willing to fight to protect that. He sticks his neck out time and time again, even when he gets brutally hurt for it. Even when the odds are ridiculously stacked against him, he won’t back down from a fight, because he won’t risk that any perceived cowardice on his part would result in harm coming to his friends or to innocent people. God...he just...he literally fights cataclysmic events and can still smile afterwards. Kuwabara seems like such a dope, but it really is impossible not to love someone who’s just so good. “We all have to die when our time comes, but if we do our duty we don’t got regrets.”

Amajiki Tamaki, My Hero Academia

My anxious, darling boy. He’s got the coolest quirk of anybody (okay, don’t hold me to that; I’d have to think about it harder, but he’s got one of the coolest quirks for sure), but he still struggles with feeling unsure of his power. But he’s got so much control over it anyway! He’s worked so hard and he kicks so much ass! But even being so competent, that imposter syndrome still creeps up, and I can relate to that and to his anxiety a lot. Finally, I think and he and Mirio are truly adorable together in the anime, and Tamaki’s loyalty makes him a character I really like. *Note: I’m not a manga-reader for BNHA, so I only know up to the end of the current anime season, so please no spoilers if anything I say is out of date!* “Even if I try to imagine them as potatoes, I can see their human bodies. I know that they’re still people…I wanna go home.”

Winry Rockbell, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Winry is a beautiful character. She’s so strong and cool and smart, and she’s unfailingly loyal. Her support of Ed and Al helps them through their whole journey, and she literally gives Ed a leg to stand on and an arm to fight with. She’s a brilliant mechanic and a caring friend, and she’s so empathetic, despite the hurt in her past. She has her own story too, which too many “love interest” girls in shonen anime/manga don’t have. She makes her own choices and grows in her own ways and holds Ed accountable when he’s being an idiot. Winry’s arc is beautiful and shows yet another aspect to the FMA world that Arakawa so brilliantly crafted. I just really adore Winry and think she deserves all the happiness in the world. “You two won’t cry. Someone should do it for you; don’t you think?”

Killua Zoldyck, Hunter x Hunter

This boy is the embodiment of trauma, and he doesn't even realize it. It breaks my heart every time I rewatch HxH, because the juxtaposition between his upbringing and Gon’s is so stark. But Killua is also straight up hilarious and really fun to watch as he learns how to be a kid through his friendship with Gon. And part of that hilarity is when he says the most unsettling shit because he was raised as an assassin and death is just whatever to him. He’s just a really fun character and someone whose earnestness and loyalty is really unmatched. Plus, he’s just undeniably really, really cool. “I want to be friends with Gon!”

Kageyama Tobio, Haikyuu!!

The quintessential prodigy/genius with zero social skills, Kageyama really, really loves volleyball. Can he communicate that without shouting at someone? No, not really. And does he know what it means to be on a team? Also, no. Not until he joins Karasuno and meets Hinata and starts to learn from his upperclassmen. But that’s why I love him. I’m just soft for a boy who finally has good mentors who take him under their wings and show him how to fly and he just...ugh. He soars. He puts so much pressure on himself, but he really does have this beautiful character arc. Plus, he says cheesy shit like this: “With me around, you are the greatest.”

[theninjazebra]

As someone who has watched too much tv for a long time i thought i should share with the group.

TV recs for the upcoming drought:

Some of these are harder to find, the tone and quality vary wildly, they're in no specific order. I tried for not too obscure, but not too obvious. Some are still airing, some are 20 yrs old. I swear I have a life.

Slings and Arrows. Early 2000s Canadian dramedy about theatre and shakespear. Fun without being shallow, aged ok, lovely performances, great writing. nuclear grade comfort watching.

Halt and Catch Fire. 2014 - 2017, US drama. Follows four characters through the 80s tech industry. First time I got the hype around Lee Pace. S1 is ok, but nothing special, s2 is a lot more interesting but kinda goes round in a circle. S3 and 4 and some of the best tv I've ever seen.

Somebody Somewhere. This is actually a new show, but has 2 seasons out if u want a gentle but never shallow comedy. Fills my sad gay heart with joy. And if want more new tv with middle aged gays Deadloch is streaming on amazon atm.

The Expanse. Finished recently. The sci fi I've always wanted. Big and scary and wonderful and pew pew pew space battles and adventure. Balances the grim with a surprising amount of hope? Has repeated themes of redemption. Also a whole book series should u need more.

This Is England. UK drama. A film and 3 mini series set from 1983 through to 1990. Grim, sad af, also funnyand sweet? And characters that I love. The start of my undying love for Vicky McClure. Big ol CW for violence, sexual violence, and era specific racism (esp the first film). Very good, but very hard tv.

Kingdom. 2014. Can be a pain to find because so many shows are called Kingdom. About MMA fighters having drama. Also families, mental health, addiction, etc. Excellent performances. Both a very dumb and very sweet, painful show.

Animal Kingdom. Legit only watched it because I was searched Kingdom posts and AK was out around the same time. Awful family having drama and heists. Adaptation of an Aussie film into a southern California TV show. Kind of a mess? but very compelling mess.

Obligatory Succession (Kardashians for annoying people, aka me. I am the annoying person. this is my perfect tv show), The Bear, (hospo stress and family grief show) and Severance (people talk about workplace horror, but tbh it also gives big mega church horror vibes too)- new shows that live up to the hype, esp if you like sad people. I don't think they really need recs, but i really liked them.

The Thick of It. 2000s UK political comedy? Tragedy? Though these days it looking fuckin utopian compared to UK politics now. Feels a bit like a partial villain origin story for Succession. I like how sad and broken hearted it is.

Outrageous Fortune. 2000s nz dramedy that is the source of my love of family crime drama. Aged badly in places, but still very good character drama. Also, for The Boys fans, Antony Starr at his absolute best. It's a big nostalgia fest for me now. Cheryl West is a forever fav.

Justified. 2010 - 2016ish. i'm lazy i'm not looking stuff up. Yes a cop show, yes a dad show, but also rock solid tv writing and timothy olyphant in a hat. I've watched it so many times, and every time it rewards. and yes, am watching Justified City Primeval atm.

White Collar. A dumb, total fantasy art crimes and capers show. Shit, but if you need to not think and also have Matt Bomer do a shirtless painting montage for vague plot reasons then oh boy there is no other.

Being Human UK. A ghost, a vampire and a werewolf share a flat. it's sweet and agonising and 10+ years later I still love these characters so much.

Legion. 2017 - 2019. Why make tv comic adaptations that are trying for realistic and boring? When they could all be like this? Why make anything that isn't as visually interesting as this?

Doom Patrol - same for doom patrol - superhero tv that cut out the boring bits and just went for the weird and painful. I read a couple of random doom patrols years ago and was so surprised and delighted and loved them. the tv show has the same effect.

The Boys. new, and still going, as far as I know. but two kiwi leads means under nz law i have to be a fan? also it's awful, pulpy vicious popcorn viewing. appeals to the shithead 12 yr old in me. yes, it's vicious anti corporate thing is deeply ironic for an amazon show, but considering amazon saved the expanse with no sense of irony at all I figure take all their money and keep yelling.

Preacher. Another comics adaption. The Boy's weirder, less obscene, more disturbing cousin. Tulip is another forever fav tv character.

Banshee. Continuing the tradition of heth and i starting dumb Dude TV and then getting overly attached. kinda pulpy trash, but if you can stomach the violence it's surprisingly good.

All Star Treks. I love them so much. They're so weird, and uneven, and dumb, and they're all the best and I love them.

One season wonders -

Trust. about the John Paul Getty III kidnapping. also about italian countryside.

State of Play. UK. the tv show, not the film.

I dunno. I could do a whole separate post for sit coms and brit coms and the weirder, more obscure shows and movies, but ffs this is so long.

[gazs-blue-hat]

okay! Finally getting back to this lol. Thanks Hal for the tag!! I'm changing the format a bit to make more sense to me but I like to share about me to my friends!

Appearance:

I am 5' 1" // I wear glasses // I have auburn hair // I prefer tight pants and shoes but loose shirts // I have both earlobes pierced and a failed daith piercing // I have four tattoos and am planning a fifth // I have hazel eyes // I have dyed AND highlighted my hair // I have had plastic surgery (Bilateral breast reduction and it was the BEST decision ever) // I have had braces // I sunburn super quickly like in five minutes // I have freckles // I don't usually paint my nails unless someone else takes me to the nail salon (and is paying. I'm in college lol and don't have money to spend on that) // I don't typically wear makeup (Sensory issues) // I LOVE to smile // I would say I'm relatively pleased with how I look now after my surgery // I don't care what shoes I wear really, if they fit, I'm happy // I don't like wearing hats (Sensory issues once again)

Hobbies + Talents:

I love to swim // I can sometimes play the piano // I like to write and I like the idea of drawing (I'm gonna start practicing soon) // I can use ASL almost fluently // I have won a trophy in swimming //I can cook and bake without recipes (love doing both) // I learned how to swim in the ocean // I love writing (Please send me requests I'm begging) // I can not do origami // I prefer listening to podcasts instead of watching things. I don't have enough attention for a TV show or a movie // I can still to a somersault // I like to sing but I never do it in public // I like to think I could survive in the wild on my own, but I would honestly die before I kill an animal to eat (I don't mind eating meat, I couldn't do it myself) // I have read a new book series this year! The first Mistborn trilogy // I like spending time with friends but not using my voice or anything. I prefer to type or use sign language when I can // I would travel during school breaks but money is an issue // I can and often do handstands

Relationships:

I am married ( 3 years in April) // I have a best friend I have known for over 14 years // My parents are together // I have dated (and married) my best friend // I confessed to my crush // I have been in a long distance relationship (hated it) // I love giving advice to my friends // I have made an online friend // I haven't met up with someone I met online YET. I plan on doing so sometime.

Aesthetics:

I love the ocean and everything in it // Sunrises are less important to me than sunsets // I enjoy the weather right before a big storm // I have slept under the stars // I don't meditate outside but I love being outside // I don't really like chiping birds but I like chriping crickets and cicadas // I LOVE the smell of the beach // I know what snow tastes like // I listen to studio Ghibli music to fall asleep // I can't stand thunderstorms (Trauma) // I don't enjoy cloud watching because the sky hurts my eyes // I have attended a bonfire // I pay close attention to colors // I would live in the ocean if I could // I like hiking and being out in nature but health issues stop me from doing that often // autumn is my favorite season specifically October

Miscellaneous:

I prefer falling asleep in a moving vehicle (I often ask my spouse to drive me around if I can't sleep) // I am the mom friend but I am also the big sister friend // I live by the quote from Jennifer Dukes Lee "In a world where you can be anything, be kind" // I really like the smell of sharpies and spray paint and most things I shouldn't like smelling // I am certainly involved in extra curricular activities (D&D being the biggest one) // I enjoy Mexican food, Specifically quesadillas and tomato rice // I know how to drive a stick shift IN THEORY // I believe in true love but not necessarily romantic love. I have a really good relationship with my little brother. We are for sure soulmates in the way that my soul and my being is directly connected to his // I make up scenarios to fall asleep and like listening to x listener audios (I accept full cringe, I don't mind. I like what I like <3 ) // I sing in the shower to keep time. I pick a certain song and try to be done by the end of the song to save on water (Currently it's "Dinosaur park" by Owl City) // Sometimes I wish I lived in a video game but then I remember how happy I am with my life here // I always wanted a canopy over my bed but the idea of it catching on fire is too much for me // I am Caucasian through and through // I have two cats living with me and my spouse but two dogs that still live with my parents

No pressure tags: @ghostlythots @plumteaa-remus @sprout-fics @siriusleee

rules: bold the ones that are true and tag 15 other people to do it too!

thank you to the beautiful @mvtthewmurdvck for the tag! 💜

appearance:

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

hobbies + talents:

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

relationships:

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

aesthetics:

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

miscellaneous:

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

np tags: @uselsshuman, @lunarvicar, @moriflos, @nightingale-ghost-writer, @sam-id

[dateamonster]

hello tumblr user dateamonster!! do you have any recommendations for good zombie media? my gf rlly likes zombies but has burned through a lot of the good stuff to be easily found. movies shows anime games etc, anything goes. ty!

oof good question but one im not sure im totally qualified to answer since most of the zombie media i consume is on the campier, sillier side.

i do have some somewhat more Serious zombos i enjoy tho!

the girl with all the gifts is one of my alltime favs (and ive heard the book is good too tho i havent read it) it hits a lot of the beats zombie fans will probably already be familiar with but the main character being a sort of half-zombie (makes more sense in context trust me) as well as a child born into this apocalyptic setting creates a totally new perspective and to me is one of the strongest most thoughtful pieces of work to come out of this sorta subgenre in a long time

the resident evil game series is probably a given. on the off chance she hasnt played it or watched a playthrough, that shits mandatory.

z-nation i think kinda tippytoes the line between stuff fans of, for example, the walking dead will recognize and enjoy in terms of ya know a story focusing more on the interpersonal drama of a group of survivors living through an ongoing apocalypse, and the sillier doesnt-take-itself-too-seriously stuff i personally enjoy, like the ongoing bit where theres just a big ball of entangled zombies rolling across the scenery. its the delicious junk food of tv zombies (though granted ive only watched i think the first few seasons when it was playing nonstop on syfy)

and if you want to join me in enjoying only thee most quality campy schlock..

zombieland saga! literally one of my favorite anime ever! i consider it in this sort of less serious category because the concept of undead idol girls is obviously pretty ridiculous on paper and not gonna be everyones thing, but if the premise even remotely intrigues you, please give it a shot. the story is fun, the characters are loveable and surprisingly complex beneath the typical moe girl archtype exteriors, the humor is on point but doesnt undermine the actually pretty effective emotional moments, and the music fucks! we stan!

z-o-m-b-i-e-s is like c-tier early 2000s dcom realness with a 2018 budget, better choreography, worse songs, questionable moral messaging, all reeking with a dangerous level of green hair dye and party city greasepaint fumes. ive watched it like four times. i cant totally explain it but its got like nostalgic high school musical vibes except more paranormal and much much sillier. dares to ask the question: can cheerleading end all prejudice and bring about world peace? (the answer is yes but theyll be repeating that question for three movies)

zombie prom. very similar to the above in general vibe except the music is honestly kind of good? theres a stage play and a movie which is more or less just a slightly shortened version. in a lot of ways it honestly feels like the fully realized version of z-o-m-b-i-e-s. if you watch the movie ru paul is there, whether thats an incentive or disincentive.

and to wrap it up another game you probably already know about, lollipop chainsaw. yes its problematic but i am honoring my past teenage self who averted their gaze when they walked by it on the shelves in gamestop by saying tara strong sexy cheerleader zombie slayer game is fun and good.

anyway all this to say my taste is very questionable when it comes to this subgenre but i hope u get something out of it. a lot of zombie stories kinda flop for me because the horror element gets watered down into this more actiony survive the zombo apocalypse type thing but the concept of zombies is definitely something that interests me despite this and there are definitely some good pieces of zombie media out there.

oh! and i havent read it yet, but ive heard really promising things about the book manhunt by gretchen felker-martin. not explicitly a zombie story i dont think but draws from the same place for sure. would be worth checking out i think.

[smoochkooks]

—chapter four: white lies

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, future smut

word count: 1.5k

summary: it came easy to you to lie. but with every untold truth, you were hurting more on the inside.

previous || next

one year and 6 months ago

April was exceptionally moody that year.  

Every day you woke up to either heavy rainfall or a beautiful, cloudless sky. Alternatively, it could also snow for a couple of hours just to have it all vanish once the sun reappeared. As much as you loved Spring, you hated the capricious weather with passion.  

It was a normal, peaceful, Saturday afternoon. Saturday meant no classes to attend, no work to do on the side. It was just you in your small, cozy apartment, tucked underneath the blanket and binge-watching Attack On Titan.  

You were never an anime enthusiast per se, but you happened to befriend a doe-eyed weeb all those years ago. Your current occupation was just a part of the aftermath. It wasn’t like Jungkook was obsessed, not at all. He was actually far from it. Now, at the tender age of twenty-three, his old hobby was like a relapse. His love for anime was coming in waves every once in a while, gradually transforming into a two-months-long hyperfixation and then, it was nothing. And the cicle continued.

He was currently in the stage of re-watching Attack On Titan, hence why you had been forced to finally give the damned anime a try as well. Hell, he was even coming over tonight to have a marathon with you.

(He’d said that season three, his favourite, you had to watch alongside him.)

You: eren's annoying little shit  

Jungkook: told you so

You: but levi? damn I’d sell my soul for him  

Jungkook: for a 5’2 emotionally unavailable man?  

You: yep. that’s my type

It was far from truth. As much as you liked Captain Levi, he wasn’t Jungkook. You are my type, you wanted to write instead. There hadn’t been a man in my life who managed to even come close to you. But, as always, you kept those confessions to yourself.  

Right when you were about to play another episode, your phone buzzed again.  

Jungkook: I have a weird question  

You: I’m used to that  

You: shoot your shot.  

Jungkook: what’s your finger size?  

Confused, you read his last message once again. That was indeed a weird fucking question to ask, you thought. You had never really been a fan of rings. You only owed one - a gift from your grandmother she gave you for your sixteenth birthday. Rummaging thorough your drawer, you found it in a separate, black case.  

It still fit just right, so you took a ruler, measured the size and googled the results.  

You: it’s 7.5 I guess

You: why do you ask tho?  

Jungkook: I need you to go somewhere with me before our marathon if that’s okay

You: you didn’t answer my question  

You: but okay. what time?

Jungkook: ill pick you up at 5pm  

Jungkook: you’ll see  

Maybe it was for the better he hadn’t told you where he was taking you. If you had know, you would have backed away last minute. Come up with so lame excuse, blame it all on a headache or period cramps.

If you had known Jungkook was taking you to pick up an engagement ring for Soojin, you would have never come with him.  

When you parked in front of one of the most high-ranking jewellery stores dowtown, the solemnity of the situation hit you like a whiplash. You took a deep, shuddering breath. Jungkook was thinking about marrying Soojin. Jungkook was going to propose to her, soon. He was ready to spent the rest of his life with her. 

Jeon Jungkook, the love of your life, was about to slip out of your reach for good. 

You couldn’t cry. Not in front of him. You clenched your fists so tight the knuckles turned white.  

“I figured out you could help me,” Jungkook said, breaking the silence and unbuckled his seatbelt. “I checked Soojin's finger size once when she was showering and then I found out that your’s the same and well, you’re a girl so you obviously know more about jewellery than me and–”

“Jungkook,” you cut him off with a dry chuckle. You didn’t want him to speak. You didn’t want to see him. You wanted to jumped off his car and ran away from that place as far as possible. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I get it.”  

You smiled at him with reassurance. It was actually hilarious, how you mastered the art of feigning your real feelings when you were with him. It came easy to you to lie but with every untold truth, you were hurting more on the inside.  

“I’m here, so you don’t have to worry about chosing something horrible.”  

He grinned and you noticed a dust of pink covering the apples his cheeks. It was hard, so fucking hard seeing him happy because that was all you ever wanted and yet it pained you not to be the main source of it. Jungkook was twenty-three and already so in love he wanted to get married. You were going to see him in a black tux, a prince charming waiting in front of the altar for his princess.  

It ached. Why did it ache to see him happy?

The lady who worked at the jewellery store greeted you politely with a bow. “What can I do for you?” she asked.  

“We are looking for engagement rings.” Jungkook answered.

You could tell she was a bit astounded but her professional smile never faltered when she responded with, “Oh, that’s still quite unusual to see the couple chosing an engagement ring together.”  

You were about to protest but then, Jungkook did something you would never expect him to do.  

He grasped your hand.

(It was warm. His touch was soothing. Comforting. Then why did it hurt so bad?)  

“My girlfriend wants to chose the ring herself but she doesn’t know when she will get it.”  

To make matters worse, he sent you a wink. The store’s clerk cooed at the scene and clasped a hand over her chest. For her it was yet another day at work, yet another pair of adults who had decided to get marry.  

“You make a really beautiful couple.” she said. 

Even Jungkook’s hand squeezing yours couldn’t ease the sting you felt hearing her speak those words to you. You smiled lightly for good measure. She then pointed at the display and gave you some time and space too look at the options.

Your whole face felt hot. Jungkook was still holding your hand, still playing the role of a perfect boyfriend. He didn’t seem to notice what kind of effect it had on you. He didn’t know how fast your heart was beating, how warm his touch felt on your skin. It was all just a silly joke to him.

He leaned closer to you, so the store's clerk couldn’t hear him. His breath tickled your skin. “You’re blushing.” he whispered.  

“Shut up.”  

He chuckled and let go of your hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”  

(No matter how much it hurt you on the inside, you already missed his touch.)

“It’s okay. Let’s chose my damned ring, shall we?” you proposed, mustering a nonchalant tone.  

Dodging uneasiness with humor always worked out, it seemed.

You felt odd and out of place standing next to him and staring at all those glimmering jewels. In the corner of the eye you saw the lady who worked there glancing at you from time to time and that was when you remembered you were supposed to act like a soon-to-be fiancée. 

“They’re all pretty.” you said to Jungkook. 

“Which one you like the most then?”  

You didn’t have to think long about the answer. The ring with an emerald stone caught your eye from the beginning. It was different than the others, definitely not a standard choice for engagement but something about its peculiarity made you want it to have it shinning on your finger one day.  

Except, you weren’t here for yourself. Jungkook wasn’t your boyfriend. You were helping him chose a ring for Soojin. And you knew exactly what she would like.  

So you pointed at the number thirty-two. A sparkling, white-gold ring with an oval-shaped diamond.  

Jungkook let out a hum. “It’s really pretty, yeah. Excuse me,” he called. “My girlfriend would like to try out this one.”  

You ignored the phantom pain you felt as you put the ring on. You flexed your fingers and just for a moment, you pretended it wasn’t a farce your best friend came up with. The diamond shone brightly just like the glimmers of happiness in Jungkook's eyes. He didn’t have to worry about Soojin's answer. He knew it would be thousand times yes.

You were good at pretending. After all, you had been practicing the art of it almost your entire life.  

So you drove with Jungkook to your apartment and listened to him babbling about his newest project at work. You made snacks, sat in front of your TV and spent the next couple of hours watching Attack On Titan. You cursed him for spoiling you a few bits of the show and Jungkook, like the petty Virgo he was, reminded you how you accidentally revealed him Little Women's ending because you had read the book years before.

As you laughed and bickered with him, you still remembered about the crimson box tucked in the pocket of his leather jacket, but you didn’t allow yourself to break. Not yet.  

It was only when Jungkook fell asleep around 1am that you stepped into the shower and let the tears flow.  

And a week later, when the dreaded became real–

Jungkook: she said yes!!!

A white lie was told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

You: I’m so happy for you, Jungkook!  

After all, the best you could do was give up your happiness for the sake of his own.

[veliseraptor]

Hi, Lise......I can't help but want to ask (if you don't mind), what are your favorite (that you personally like) books or movies/ tv series that contains lesbias and gays? Thanks if you want to answer.....

wow I completely forgot this ask was sitting in my inbox and has been for a long while. and uhhhh the thing is here that I actually...feel like I don't have a separate category in my head, so much, for "media that has queer people in it" and "media that doesn't"? which like. feels weird to say, but when I get questions like this, or requests for recommendations, I always...struggle to parse these things out. and also to parse out, for instance, "books that read as having queer elements" from "books with explicitly queer characters."

but I guess if I'm gonna try...most of these are going to be books, with a few exceptions.

BOOKS

Doctrine of Labyrinths is a four book series that comes stamped with a whole list of content warnings (rape and child abuse chief among them, probably) but is also one of my favorite series of all time, so, you know.

The Masquerade series by Seth Dickinson also comes with a big "IT'S SAD. IT'S SAD AND DARK" warning, along with content warnings for serious societal homophobia, but is another one of my favorite series of all time. it's not that I hate happy queer stories or anything, I just tend to like stories that aren't happy

The Locked Tomb Trilogy by Tasmyn Muir which you've probably heard about by now, but honestly I think the common tagline of "lesbian necromancers in space" really doesn't...cover it? It's funny, it's weird, it's unique in terms of setting, story, and magic system, it's doing some very interesting things and I can't wait to find out where Muir is going with it. it's very much stylistically not something that's going to work for everyone, but I would recommend giving it a go and finding out if it works for you.

I loved the series by Lara Elena Donnelly that starts with Amberlough, but that one's definitely Rise of a Fascist State and therefore might not be everyone's cuppa right at the moment.

Oh, Imperial Radch by Ann Leckie is very queer, not in terms of, like, "these characters are explicitly gay" but more in terms of what she's doing with gender. I don't know that I'd say it's a central part of the book but it's an important enough piece of the worldbuilding at least that I'd put it here. I don't actually remember, textually, but Machineries of Empire also feels very queer to me in a similar sort of way. A queer theory sort of way, maybe? idk.

this one's a sort of...not for me exactly but it was cool rec, but The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon was very classic fantasy in a lot of ways, but gay, and with some fresh twists on old tropes.

COMICS

The Wicked and the Divine by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie. look, it's just really good and not just for the queer. I need to do a reread from the top.

TV

I am really enjoying Motherland: Fort Salem actually, which I feel like people either aren't aware of or watch the first couple episodes and get turned off, but. one of the three main characters is lesbian, and sticks her hand down another girl's pants in like. the second episode? maybe even the first one, I don't remember.

Person of Interest doesn't introduce its gay until later in the series, but if you're anything like me as far as what you want in relationship dynamics you're in for a treat.

Yes, it is an animated children's show, but She-Ra and the Princesses of Power gave me such a gift it still makes me emotional because I'm going like. is this what it feels like to get what I want, canonically, in a piece of media? wow.

look, I'm putting The Untamed on here because (a) it is based on a gay webnovel and is pretty fucking gay considering the limits of censorship, everybody in the cast knows it and is playing it, and (b) some of the secondary relationships come off, I would argue, even gayer in the live action, probably because there are actor people putting them right in front of your face. (because the discourse is what it is: censorship isn't progressive, etc., but this is my list and I'm putting MDZS on here too.)

THOSE CHINESE WEBNOVELS I WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT

like, seriously. I mean, look, they take some work getting into because reading works in translation that come from a culture that you (general Anglophone you) may or may not be familiar with on one level or another actually does come with having to learn some shit and get used to some new things about genre and style, and reading webnovels maybe even more so, but as far as I'm concerned it's worth it.

so far the ones I've read are (titles in English, with common abbreviation, mostly from the Chinese) Heaven Official's Blessing (TGCF), Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (MDZS), Scum Villain's Self Saving System (SVSSS), The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (erha or 2HA), and (still finishing but at this point feel pretty comfy recommending) Clear and Muddy Loss of Love (JWQS).

there are several others on my list that I've had recommended and just haven't gotten to yet. my favorites personally are probably TGCF and 2HA, but I'm pending a reread of MDZS with a different translation to do my final assessment there and JWQS is giving me a lot of very good shit.

(I feel like I have to mention, because I'd be remiss if I didn't while I'm talking about ~personal preferences~, that the Coldfire Trilogy is astonishingly queer in my memory for one of the central relationships although it's been years since I read it, admittedly, and the Lymond Chronicles which is a series I love dearly is also incredibly queer, particularly for a series written in the 60s, and is like. juuuuust barely shy of having a canonically bisexual protagonist. and does have an explicitly lesbian secondary character, though fair warning, she, uh, does have it pretty rough.)

there's also some books that didn't make it on here even though they have queer characters because I felt like the queerness of those characters was not really key to the story, for instance the Broken Earth Trilogy by N.K. Jemisin, which is fantastic in its own right and I would recommend to everyone, but didn't quite feel like it fit this post.

I'm almost certainly forgetting stuff, but I did my best.

[writebackatya]

Do you play an instrument?

I’ve attempted to learn the piano and guitar many different times, but it never stuck with me. Gonna try to learn an instrument this year, I’ll see how that goes

Favorite book characters?

Love all the various characters I’ve read in the Discworld series. Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit is a always a good time. And I guess Lisbeth Salander from the Millennium series

What’s your star sign?

Aquarius

Naps or long sleeps?

Long sleeps. I just wish they were easier for me to do

What languages do you know?

English. Another thing I wanna do this year is learn a new language. Might give Tagalog another go or might start with Spanish

Dreams/Aspirations?

I’ve always wanted to work in the movie and/or tv industry. But as I get older the less likely I wanna do that, but there are still some movie ideas in my head that I wanna do. But I think out of all the random ideas I have in my head the one I wanna do the most is this adult animated series that I would want to have four seasons since it would focus on the three main characters time in college. The show would take place in this animated world filled with various animated characters from different genres of animation, kinda like that old show Drawn Together but I’d like it to be way less vulgar and edgy

Long hair or short?

Short

Favorite color scheme?

Uhh…complementary, I guess?

Tea or coffee?

Coffee

Go into a fictional world or bring a book character to life?

Go into a fictional world. Bringing a fictional character to the real world just seems cruel for that character

Not gonna tag anyone but if you see this and want to add your answers feel free to

Wanna get to know my tumblr friends better cuz y'all are dope so have a tag game challenge if you want :)

Also, if you don’t wanna answer anything you don’t need to.

♫Do you play an instrument?

•Favourite book characters?

•What’s your star sign?

•Favourite colour schemes?

•Naps or long sleep?

•What languages do you speak?

•Dreams/aspirations?

•Long hair or Short Hair?

•Tea or coffee?

•Bring a book character to life or go into a fictional world?

No pressure tags: @thebestieyoureinlovewith @nikolaistealcoat @grishaverse-chaos @lostinfantasyworldsbi @lilisouless @l3st1b0urn3s-707 @arany-studio @waluigicumjar

[crime-she-wrote]

What is Criminal Profiling and how Jack The Ripper‘s case contributed to it

Hello and welcome back to Crime, She Wrote! In this post we’ll talk about two things that fascinate me: criminal profiling and the first criminal profile ever recorded. So buckle up, get your favourite beverage and join me in this little trip around criminology!

What is criminal profiling?

Criminal profiling is something that probably most people have heard of thanks to the rising in popularity of crime TV shows, movies and books. It’s safe to say that if you’re reading this, you’ve heard of Criminal Minds, The Silence of the Lambs or Mindhunter. But among all the fiction, what’s the truth? What’s the reality that everything has been based of?

Offender profiling, or criminal profiling, is an investigative technique used by law enforcement agents and psychologists to assist in determining whether offenses were committed by the same perpetrator and to help narrowing down the list of possible suspects by using available information about the crime and crime scene to create a psychological portrait of the perpetrator. As of now, there are several typologies of criminal profiling, such as crime scene analysis, investigative psychology, geographic profiling, diagnostic evaluation and linkage analysis.

What do those words mean?

Crime scene analysis is probably what most people associate offender profiling with: the analysis of a crime scene and inference of the offender’s characteristics from it. Although this is the most popular method of offender profiling and the one used by the FBI, there’s no clear scientific evidence that crime scene actions and offender characteristics can be directly linked without the interfefence of a third factor.

Investigative psychology is a field of applied psychology that attempts to describe and understand the behaviour of the offender, their thought process and psychological characteristics. This is an investigative technique that strays from traditional criminal investigation.

Geographic profiling is, as the name says, the profiling of the area on which the offender commits their crimes. The goal of this investigative tool is to find patterns on the geographical areas in which crimes were committed, narrow down areas where the offender could strike next and find areas of personal significance for the offender. Despite what fictional media might make you believe, this doesn’t necessarily mean the geographic profile tells us where the offender lives (although that’s not impossible), but it tries to link criminal activity to other activities not related to the crimes (such as home or work place, or recreational areas frequently visited by the offender). Geographic profiling works on the principle that 1) crimes are likely to occur near the offender’s home, 2) the offender and the victim must intersect for the crime to occur, 3) the offender tends to divert attentions from their own home although not travelling further away than necessary and 4) crime sites are not random. Although very helpful, geographic profiling is only an accurate tool when investigators have more than three crimes than can be connected to the same offender with no doubt.

Linkage analysis is the process of determining whether several crimes were committed by the same offender. Idealy, this is determined by the presence of DNA, fingerprints or fabric in the crime scenes. But when neither of these are present, investigators must use other ways to determined the facts. One way of doing this is by behaviour linkage analysis where the investigators attempt to link crimes based on the behaviours of the offender. They try to find patterns of behavioral stability and behavioral distinctiveness, aka, the offender must behave a similar way when commiting the crimes and those behaviours must be different form those exhibited by other offenders committing the same crimes. This is also known as the offender’s modus operandi.

Diagnostic evaluation is the attempt to relate psychiatry and psychology knowledge to criminology, thus explaining crime and criminal behaviour via a mental health and psichiatric diagnostic vision.

What does Jack The Ripper have to do with this?

Between April 1888 and February 1891 there were a series of murders around the Whitechapel district of London. The victims were women, typically prostitutes, in impoverished areas, who had their throats cut and their abdomens mutilated, including the removal of the uterus and other organs in most cases. All crimes were committed during the night. Although a total of 11 murders were investigated as being the Ripper’s, only 5 were and are widely accepted as being committed by the Ripper. These are known as the canonical five and consist of Mary Ann Nichols, Annie Chapman, Elizabeth Stride, Catherine Eddowes, and Mary Jane Kelly. The details of each murder are lengthy and well known so I won’t go over them much, but if you want to read more about them the wikipedia page on Jack the Ripper has it all available.

The investigation around the Whitechapel murders happened very much the same way modern investigations do: from interviewing of the community, to collecting of forensic material, and identification, investigation and even arrest of suspects. The investigation was conducted initially by Detective Inspectors Edmund Reid and Robert Anderson from the Metropolitan Police of Whitechapel Criminal Investigation Department, who later were joined by Detective Inspectors Frederick Abberline, Henry Moore, and Walter Andrews of the Scotland Yard.

It was in October 1888 that Robert Anderson asked police surgeon Thomas Bond his opinion regarding the murderer’s skill and anatomy knowledge. Bond’s response is the first criminal profile recorded in history.

Quoting Bond’s letter to Anderson,

 “1. All five murders were no doubt committed by the same hand. In the first four the throats appear to have been cut from left to right. In the last case owing to the extensive mutilation it is impossible to say in what direction the fatal cut was made, but arterial blood was found on the wall in splashes close to where the woman's head must have been lying.

2. All the circumstances surrounding the murders lead me to form the opinion that the women must have been lying down when murdered and in every case the throat was first cut.

3. In the four murders of which I have seen the notes only, I cannot form a very definite opinion as to the time that had elapsed between the murder and the discovering of the body.

4. In all the cases there appears to be no evidence of struggling and the attacks were probably so sudden and made in such a position that the women could neither resist nor cry out. In the Dorset Street case the corner of the sheet to the right of the woman's head was much cut and saturated with blood, indicating that the face may have been covered with the sheet at the time of the attack.

5. In the four first cases the murderer must have attacked from the right side of the victim. In the Dorset Street case, he must have attacked from in front or from the left, as there would be no room for him between the wall and the part of the bed on which the woman was lying. Again, the blood had flowed down on the right side of the woman and spurted on to the wall.

6. The murderer would not necessarily be splashed or deluged with blood, but his hands' and arms must have been covered and parts of his clothing must certainly have been smeared with blood.

7. The mutilations in each case excepting the Berner's Street one were all of the same character and shewed clearly that in all the murders, the object was mutilation.

8. In each case the mutilation was inflicted by a person who had no scientific nor anatomical knowledge. In my opinion he does not even possess the technical knowledge of a butcher or horse slaughterer or any person accustomed to cut up dead animals.

9. The instrument must have been a strong knife at least six inches long, very sharp, pointed at the top and about an inch in width. It may have been a clasp knife, a butcher's knife or a surgeon's knife. I think it was no doubt a straight knife.

10. The murderer must have been a man of physical strength and of great coolness and daring. There is no evidence that he had an accomplice. He must in my opinion be a man subject to periodical attacks of Homicidal and erotic mania. The character of the mutilations indicate that the man may be in a condition sexually, that may be called satyriasis. It is of course possible that the Homicidal impulse may have developed from a revengeful or brooding condition of the mind, or that Religious Mania may have been the original disease, but I do not think either hypothesis is likely. The murderer in external appearance is quite likely to be a quiet inoffensive looking man probably middleaged and neatly and respectably dressed. I think he must be in the habit of wearing a cloak or overcoat or he could hardly have escaped notice in the streets if the blood on his hands or clothes were visible.

11. Assuming the murderer to be such a person as I have just described he would probably be solitary and eccentric in his habits, also he is most likely to be a man without regular occupation, but with some small income or pension. He is possibly living among respectable persons who have some knowledge of his character and habits and who may have grounds for suspicion that he is not quite right in his mind at times. Such persons would probably be unwilling to communicate suspicions to the Police for fear of trouble or notoriety, whereas if there were a prospect of reward it might overcome their scruples.”

In summary, Bond mentioned the sexual nature of the murders and gives an analysis of the Ripper’s personality by analysing the available information and reconstucting the murders.

This analysis contains elements previously mentioned of offender profiling: we have the crime scene analysis, where Bond infers the position and behaviour of both victim and offender; investigative psychology, where he attempts to infer psychological traits to explain and understand the Ripper’s behaviour; linkage analysis where he uses the available information to determine whether the crimes were committed by the same offender or not; and diagnostic evaluation, where Bond attempts to explain the behaviour of the Ripper through various psychiatric diagnostics.

However...

Although offender profiling is indeed a scientific field within criminology and psychology, many theories are yet to be proven correct. Offender profiling depends on two things: behavioral consistency and homology. This means that for all typologies of offender profiling to be 100% accurate, an offender’s behaviour must be the same throughout different environments and occasions and throughout time (behaviour consistency) and similar crimes must always be committed by the same type of offenders (homology). Although this has been proved correct in the cases of sexual crimes, other types of crimes are yet to obtain the same results in research. This means that offender profiling is, indeed, useful and helpful to police investigations but it should be treated with caution as it cannot be used as a single one tool to solve a case or find a perpetrator.

Thank you!

If you read this far, thank you for sticking around! Likes and reblogs are highly appreciated, and if you like what you see please consider following! Let me know what kind of content, scientific research, cases or theories you’d like to see here by dropping suggestions on the ask box!

See you next post!

[wonunuu]

showers and powers | csc

genre: fluff maybe wee bit of crack?

wc: 615

a/n: this lil blurb is just me being overly obsessed with atla 😔 gif creds to @seodami :)

navi

For the past two hours, you have been sitting on your desk, flipping the pages of your book to find useful information for your presentation. Cramps were starting to form in your legs, wrists and neck, from sitting and typing for too long. “I don't want to do this anymore,” you complain as you shut your computer and pile your books up at the corner of your table.

You sit on your couch after heading to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. You pick up the remote control from the floor and turn on the TV. As you flip through the variety of uninteresting channels, you hear the shower water turn off. Your boyfriend, Seungcheol, usually takes showers at your dorm after practice despite having his own, but you don't mind. Plus, you liked the cuddles he’d give afterwards as you watch cartoon shows on your living room couch. Right now, you have been binging the show Avatar: The Last Airbender. You've watched it before as a child but only remember a few parts from it. It took a lot of convincing to get your boyfriend to watch it with you—he’s more of a movie kinda guy and not really into series shows. But he has grown quite a liking to the show, and he'd also recite the intro, making you laugh. Dork.

You hear the bathroom door open and see your boyfriend wet hair, droplets of water trickling down his toned stomach and a towel wrapped dangerously low around his torso. You know those memes of people with their jaws open on the floor and water dripping out of their mouth as they stare at something more immaculate than life itself? That is what you look like right now as you shamelessly eye your boyfriend from head to toe.

“Like what you see?” He smirks. Cocky sometimes, but still hot. You, as bold as brass, bite your lips as you send him a wink, and he gives you a “ouu” look followed by a burst laughter. He loves it when you get ballsy like that—probably a weird trope of his. “Get changed or else I'll start the show without you,” you threaten the half naked man in your living room. With that, he runs to your closet where there's a section for his clothes to get changed, almost slipping on the way.

Impatient, you call for your boyfriend, for the fourth time, to finish up so you could start watching, “Cheol! Are you done? Hurry up!”

“Yeah I’m coming babe,” he replies walking out of your room and shutting the door behind him. He takes a seat beside you and you click on the space bar of your computer to play the show. As expected, Seungcheol suddenly stands up and starts to recite the intro.

“Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished…”

You laugh at your silly boyfriend as you watch him act out the animations shown on the screen. After the intro, he takes his seat again beside you.

“Come,” he taps in his lap, gesturing to you to sit. You obliged and sat between them, and rested your head on his chest. You can smell the scent of your own body wash from him, which you found sucked because you loved his own natural scent. He slowly wraps his arms around you to find your little hands and when he did, he intertwined your fingers together. Like that, you watched as the gaang defeated troops of the cruel Fire Nation.

[nostalgicfun]

Me: Wow I designed this super cute character!

Me: I would love to have a small children’s book series. 

Me: What if those books were a show though? That would be so cute! 

Me: Oh there could be a spin-off series too 

Me: Wait. I have a bunch of show ideas. What if I had a whole channel. 

Me: Other aspiring artists could come pitch their shows and we could have a whole channel of diverse and artistically beautiful shows for kids. 

Me: And it could do movies too! 

Me: Oh crap now we need a movie studio. Let me imagine a little harder....okay there we have a movie studio now. 

Me: What’s our mascot though? Oh! It can be the bunny from the original book series! 

Me: We could produce toys of our characters! Ethically made and sourced unique toys that children would love! Stuffed animals, dolls, puzzles, action figures, all based on our shows and movies! 

Me: We could have branches all around the world! Artists of every nationality could craft tv shows and movies for the channel that varies based on geographic location so children are always exposed to different cultures! 

Me: We’d make so much money, and we could DONATE that money AND pay our employees super well! I don’t have any actual dreams of being rich so as long as I have like...a four bedroom house with a two car garage I’m happy! I could give it all away!

Me: 

Me: 

Me: I drew a single bunny and dreamt I was ethical Walt Disney again didn’t I

[cagesings]

𝒈𝒆𝒕  𝒕𝒐  𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒎𝒖𝒏!

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒.

BIRTHDAY:  september  first  

PRONOUNS:  she/her

NAME:  fleur  is  my  alias  -  you’ll  never  guess  my  real  name

ZODIAC:  virgo??  it  matters  nothing  to  me  though  &  i  do  not  act  like  one  lol    

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒.

FAVORITE  AUTHOR:  v.ictor  h.ugo?  i  don’t  really  have  a  favorite  atm  

FAVORITE  CHARACTER  FROM  LITERATURE:  c.osette  f.auchelevent,  followed  closely  by  p.ercy  b.lakeney

FAVORITE  MUSIC  GENRE:  i  am  musical  trash  i’m  sorry  

FAVORITE  KIND  OF  BOOK:  historical  romance  

FAVORITE  ANIMALS:  giraffes  

FAVORITE  D.ISNEY  CARTOON:  t.angled.  i  have  a  love-hate  relationship  with  the  series    

FAVORITE  VIDEO  GAMES:  m.aria  k.art??  i  don’t  play  video  games  except  that  one  with  my  little  brother  

FAVORITE  COLOR:  turquoise

FAVORITE  TV  SHOWS:  d.ownton  abbey,  t.angled  the  series,  l.es  m.iserables  (  2019  ),  g.ilmore  g.irls

FAVORITE  MYTHOLOGY:  well  i  went  through  a  brief  h.adestown  phase  so  greek?

FAVORITE  FOOD:  chicken  nuggets,  oreo  ice  cream,  pineapple  

FAVORITE  ACTOR:  um,  j.ohnny  d.epp  is  always  up  there  along  with  j.eremy  j.ordan  &  probably  h.ugh  j.ackman

FAVORITE  COUNTRIES:  i  really  loved  italy  &  of  course  romanticizing  the  heck  out  of  paris.  i  also  really  loved  london.  but  the  best  food  i’ve  ever  had  was  in  china.  

𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘  𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

CANON  OR  OC:  both.  i  am  currently  neglecting  my  ocs,  but  i  prefer  writing  ocs  just  because  i  have  intense  duplicate  anxiety  for  the  most  part.  with  ocs,  there’s  no  duplicate  anxiety.  

HOW  LONG  HAVE  YOU  BEEN  RPING:  was  apart  of  a  r.pg  on  quotev  in  middle  school  for  like  a  month.  good  times.  on  tumglr,  i’ve  been  doing  this  for  a  little  more  than  a  year.  

WHO  IS  YOUR  CURRENT  FC:  j.ayne  w.isener  

FAVEORITE  GENRE:  angst  is  the  easiest  to  write  with  jo  because  she  has  .  .  .  a  lot  going  on.  but  i  am  very  soft  for  fluff.  

SOFT  MUSES  OR  EVIL  MUSES:  for  the  most  part  i  write  soft  muses  or  muses  who  are  somewhere  in  between.  but  i  do  like  the  occasional  evil  muse.    

WHAT  IS  YOUR  PERFERED  WRITING  STYLE?:  third  person,  present  tense  multi  para  (  lol  remember  when  i  could  only  write  like  four  sentences  &  now  all  my  drafts  are  like  three  paragraphs  at  least?  )

HAVE  YOU  BEEN  ON  OTHER  PLATFORMS?:  quotev,  like  i  said  before.    

WHO  IS  YOUR  TOP  MUSE  AT  THE  MOMENT?:  miss  j.ohanna  b.arker  who  deserves  the  world  &  i  intend  to  give  it  to  her

NAME  YOUR  MUSES  YOU  HAD  IN  THE  PAST:  most  of  them  i  still  rp?  i  kind  of  abandoned  my  m.organ  s.tark  blog,  a  handful  of  ocs,  a  cosette  blog  before  moving  her  to  the  multi,  etc.  

tagged  by:  @luckhissoul​​  (  thank  you!!! )

tagging:  you!!

[itoshisae]

Meme time! Thank you 💕💕💕 Robin 💕💕💕 @reinerist 💕💕💕 for tagging me, you angel you 💕💕💕 sorry I took forever and a day 🙈

Under a read more because it ended up long 🤭

----- #1

Favorite color: Red 💋

Currently reading: I'm thinking of catching up with the Jjk manga, I've been quite in the reading block lately 😭

Last song: "Love to see you cry" by Enrique Iglesias, my shuffle is amazing that way

Last series: Inventing Anna

Last movie: Scream (2022)

Sweet, savory, or spicy: Spicy

Currently working on: I'm going to try to download photoshop again so hopefully I can start playing around again... I miss it honestly

Four songs I’ve been into lately: This changes weekly according to my shuffle lolol but! "INVU" by Taeyeon // "Can't fight this feeling" by Junior Caldera ft. Sophie Ellis Bextor // "Summer Son" by Texas // "Get into my heart" by Miyavi vs シシド・カフカ

What are 5 things I love talking about: Obanai and Mitsuri have been giving me all the feelings so always and forever them // World Trigger everyone please read it (I will not shut up about Yuichi sorry not sorry) // the Shadowhunters series // JACK VESSALIUS (caps intended) // YU KANDA (also caps intended) // anyways my eternal love for tea and honestly whatever book or show or movie I last watched or game I played and I really enjoyed

----- #2

Let’s get to know our animanga fandom mutuals/followers better? 💕

01. how did you find out about anime? Since childhood? Tmi time hey! My first anime were when I was about 5-6, Sailor Moon (it was on tv every afternoon, super badly dubbed but I lived for it) and Attack No. 1 (this one was on every Sunday morning and my dad used to watch it with me); I watched Inuyasha and Tokyo Mew Mew in highschool a lot, and then I started reading the manga my friends back then used to. I got back into it more when I was 19 due to a friend recommending me Ouran Highschool Host Club. And Death Note was ridiculously popular at uni lmao quite questionable how so many law students loved Light but hey ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ c'est la vie

02. what’s your favorite anime? Hmm hard to say. I'll focus first on anime only and not anime based on manga, because that's an entire different thing. So... Free! I would say Free! is honestly my absolute favourite because it hit home with some stuff when it first aired. I related with Haruka a lot. Additionally, it's anime only so it suits this category best! I also enjoyed the visuals and animation of K Project a lot; they were surreal. And if I'm going for anime based on manga (I generally prefer the manga honestly) I would say Natsume Yuujinchou, Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun and Fma:b have some of the best anime adaptations. Kny anime is doing well so far too!! For anime based on games, Utapri and Amnesia were great.

03. do you have a favorite j-music/k-pop group/singer?  Miyavi, Taeyeon, SNSD, BiSH, The Oral Cigarettes, EXO, Shinhwa, Orange Caramel

04. when is your bday? and how old are you? 9 october // 31 years old (the pandemic birthdays shouldn't count, so I should be 29 forever still)

05. currently, what is your favorite fandom anime? World Trigger, Kny and Jjk

06. despite the ups and downs on tumblr, what motivates you to stay here today and do your best? Out of sheer spite. Lololol. Honestly even if I go on hiatus sometimes, I can't see myself ever leaving this website for good. I met some of my best and closest friends here, and I'm still connecting with new friends about new interests, so it's a nice little happy corner. My grandchildren will inherit my canon urls, I kid you not. Truthfully, no other social media can ever compare.

07. finally create yourself in this picrew: link

Tagging (for either/or and only if you want, no pressure!!) 💕 @misakarose 💕 @spike-spiegels 💕 @ozvasselius 💕 @reigenphobe 💕 @childeapologist 💕 @kurozero 💕@keikuns 💕

[reallivegeekgirl]

StanQuest

Something clicked on in my brain a couple months ago and suddenly Sebastian Stan became the hottest man alive. So I decided to watch everything he’s ever been in. A friend and I called it StanQuest.

Here are my spoiler-free reviews for anyone considering something similar (in inverse chronological order starting with latest works and going back in time. The stars are an overall rating of the work, not of Sebastian’s performance.

This only lists things I could find streaming for free or a price I was willing to pay. It does not count after credits scenes, music videos, or works in which he was uncredited.

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021) - TV show - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This started it all. I very much enjoyed it. Good balance of humor and action, heart and heroics. I’ve watched it four times already, and will watch it again. Bucky Barnes is my favorite character of his and this is my favorite story of Bucky's so far. I can’t wait to see what he does next. (And I have a lot to say about how they treat his trauma in this show. I’ve definitely written about it before and may again.)

Monday (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one where he gets naked. If that’s all you’re looking for, enjoy. It was a very realistic portrayal of a relationship between two deeply flawed people. It can get depressing. But hey, penis.

The Devil All the Time (2020) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you think Monday is depressing, this movie says “hold my beer”. But something about it is just captivating. It’s really disturbing, and if you’ve ever been screwed over by American Evangelical Christianity it might be more disturbing. Still, I’ve watched it twice. And as much of a bastard as Lee Bodecker is, he also looks really cuddly. He’s just barely in it.

The Last Full Measure (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - You will cry. A lot. It’s based on a true story. Sebastian plays a man who cares more about his career than this weird quest dumped on his desk by his boss, but changes his mind and his heart as he investigates why a war hero was denied a medal of honor 34 years before. Definitely recommend.

Endings, Beginnings (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - One of two love interests in the complicated life of Shailene Woodley’s Daphne, Sebastian is an adorable mess. The editing is interesting and fresh feeling. Watch it and you’ll see what I mean. Fair amount of sex in this movie, and you see his butt. It’s a very nice butt. I’ve watched this one a few times so far.

Avengers: Endgame (2019) - Movie - ⭐⭐ - There is no reason to watch this movie if you’re not familiar with at least most of the rest of the MCU. It plays merry hob with the rules of time travel, and only makes sense if you don’t really think about it. In my opinion, the ending is really freaking stupid comsidering his character’s history, but at least it sets up TFatWS, which was amazing.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018) - Movie - ⭐ - If you’re into movies that are creepy but also almost nothing happens for most of the movie, this is the one for you. Sebastian is handsome as hell, but also a complete asshole. As fine as he is, I’m not gonna watch this again. I fucking hated it.

Destroyer (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- I had a hard time paying attention to the plot because it seemed like they made this movie just to get Nicole Kidman an Oscar nomination for wearing ugly makeup and playing a complete mess of a person. It’s a fine movie, and all of the performances are good. Sebastian looks surprisingly good with the short hair and goatee. Ultimately, the plot is depressing and the whole movie seems kind of pointless.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Again, no reason to watch this if you aren’t already familiar with all the movies leading up to it. It’s long and the villain looks like Grimace and a California Raisin had an evil baby. The ending made me scream with frustration that I had to wait until the next one came out. Now I just watch them back-to-back if I watch them at all. It’s not a good movie, but it is part of a long-form story that I enjoy in general.

I’m Not Here (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐- Another depressing one. Told over the course of one man’s terrible life, it’s a sad account of how much your parents can fuck you up. Sebastian portrays the middle part of the man’s life. J.K. Simmons plays the current day part and unreliable narrator.. Do not watch unless you are fully prepared to be sad for a really long time after.

I, Tonya (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- This movie is hilarious. I mean, the true story is insane and really stupid. The spousal abuse is hard to watch, and Sebastian’s mustache in this is a war crime. But the acting is great and it’s a very engaging movie. The parts that aren’t horrifying are pretty funny.

Logan Lucky (2017) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Watch. This. Movie. Sebastian Stan is only in it a little, but it’s a really fun, clever caper/heist movie and everyone in it is fantastic. I don’t want to say anything else about it if you’re going in fresh. I’ll be rewatching this one a lot

Captain America: Civil War (2016) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you ignore how kind of silly the conflict over the Sokovia Accords is, this is a good Marvel movie. Sebastian gets a lot of screen time because Bucky is the more pressing concern/urgent point of contention than the Accords. Bucky is my favorite character of his partly because of this movie.

The Martian (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I’m watching it(again) as I’m typing this. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve watched it. Sebastian Stan isn’t in it very much, but he’s very cute and so is his little story arc. Mostly I watch it because Ridley Scott made a fantastic movie. If you can get your hands on the Blu-Ray, it comes with a ton of extras. They made a very complete story that isn’t all seen in the movie. A lot of it is stuff about Mars, but there are also extra “crew” interviews, so there’s another chance to see more of Sebastian’s character.

Ricki and the Flash (2015) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - He’s not in this very much, but he’s very cute when he does appear. It’s all about the relationship between Ricki and her daughter. Definitely rewatchable. Meryl Streep is fantastic, because she’s Meryl Streep.

The Bronze (2015) - Movie - ⭐ - This is not a good movie. It’s about Olympic gymnastics, so it might be slightly more interesting right now while the Olympics are happening. Sebastian isn’t in it a lot, but his performance is certainly… memorable. Weirdest sex scene I’ve ever seen. Worth watching just for that.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - This is the one I can watch over and over. I bought a Winter Soldier face mask for when I need to feel like a badass. Bucky’s story is really sad, but he’s also extremely sexy with the metal arm and determined walk.

Once Upon a Time (2012-2013) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐ - This show is so stupid, but it’s also fun. If you haven’t seen it, the premise is that fairy tale characters are real and live in another land. Snow White’s Evil Queen casts a spell to transport a bunch of them to a town she creates in Maine called Storybrooke, and gives them all fake memories so she can be mayor and watch them all not remember who they are. Sebastian plays Jefferson, a.k.a. The Mad Hatter. He’s in a few episodes in season 1 and 2, and doesn’t get a ton of screen time, but he’s really cute and tragic as Jefferson. It probably helps to watch the whole first season just to understand his episodes, but that’s up to your tolerance for weird shit. Note: IMDB says he’s in an episode uncredited, but I’ve watched it and didn’t see him anywhere in that one.

Labyrinth (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐ - Two episodes that tell a complete story. Sebastian isn’t in this one a whole lot, but he is adorable. It’s a strange story about religious stuff and a sort of Holy Grail that’s three books. It’s hard to describe. It’s on Amazon Prime right now, but they’re taking it down August 8, 2021, so watch it while you can.

The Apparition (2012) - Movie - ⭐ - If you like horror movies, you might like this. I did not. From what I understand, it’s not a very good horror movie. Watch with caution and expect it to suck.

Political Animals (2012) - TV Mini-Series - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - I had to buy this through Apple and watch it on a Mac, but it was worth it. Sebastian plays TJ Hammond, the out gay son of a former American president who is clearly based on Bill Clinton. Sigorney Weaver plays the former first lady and current secretary of state. TJ struggles with addiction and relationship problems. His performance is heart-wrenching. The whole show is pretty great. I wish there was more of it.

Gone (2012) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - More of a psychological thriller than a horror movie. Sebastian has a small amount of screen time as the worried boyfriend. Amanda Seyfried is good. She carries the film well on her own.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - If you haven’t seen this yet, I’d like to know what it’s like under your rock. This is a movie I can rewatch a lot, and have. I 100% cried in the theater. Sebastian looks fantastic in uniform as Bucky Barnes. This is his introduction and the start of his ultimately tragic story (before he’s saved by his best friend, again).

Black Swan (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐⭐ - Sebastian is barely in this. He’s basically just in one scene in a dance club. But I watched it to try to complete StanQuest, and I had seen it before. It’s a good movie, but might induce some nightmares, depending on what scares you. If Natalie Portman didn’t at least get a nomination for an award she was robbed.

Gossip Girl (2007-2010) - TV Show - ⭐⭐ - Carter Baizen is a little shit. The episodes with Sebastian in them might have made more sense if I watched the show from the beginning, but I didn’t want to. His character is an asshole, but a very cute one.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐- The people who made this movie are bad at math, and their rules of time travel are sketchy at best, but it is funny and entertaining. Sebastian plays a ski patrol bro who’s paranoid about the Russians, which is hilarious irony to me. Worth watching if you want to laugh at something dumb.

Kings (2009) - TV Show - ⭐⭐⭐- Sebastian plays Jack Benjamin, the closeted gay son of the king of a fictional place. It’s loosely based on the David and Goliath story from the Bible. Sebastian is so sad and so gay. His family makes his life a living hell. Ian McShane is a force of nature in this. It’s only one season. I’ve watched it twice. I will watch it again.

Spread (2009) - Movie - no stars - This movie was practically unwatchable. It stars Ashton Kutcher and Anne Heche as a romantic couple, I guess? I ended up just skipping to Sebastian’s scenes and only watching those. Still painful.

The Covenant (2006) - Movie - ⭐⭐⭐ - This movie is so fuckig stupid, and I will watch it a ridiculous number of times. It’s about magic and teenagers, like The Craft for boys. Nothing about it makes sense. It’s terrible, almost irredeemable, but an evil Sebastian with magic powers is a siren song that will make me steer my boat right into the rocks.

And there you have it. There are a bunch of earlier things on IMDB that I just can’t find or don’t want to pay to rent. Maybe some day I’ll watch them and add them to this list.

[allsassnoclass]

Top 5 celeb pets and top 5 books from your childhood

ooooooo these are fun thank you for asking annie!!!

okay so fun fact i'm so enthusiastic about the 5sos pets but they are basically the only celebrity pets i care about lol. no clue what pets other people have. as such the first four listed here are basically all tied

1. Petunia

2. Duke

3. Southy

4. Moose

5. Pete Wentz used to have this dog called Hemmingway and he took him everywhere and loved him a lot and put him in a music video but then after his son was born Hemmy started getting a little aggressive towards the baby so they had to give him to a friend

Books from my childhood!

1. The Septimus Heap series by Angie Sage - this series is really close to my heart and i was Marcia Overstrand for Halloween one year! My sister used to read books out loud to my brother and I after we were supposed to be asleep and we got about halfway through this series (I finished the rest by myself)

2. Redwall by Brian Jaques - it took me a long time to read this book and I think I actually watched the animated tv show first, but this book and series holds a really special place in my heart just because it was something my entire family loved. we have the whole series (again, I think I've only read 4 of them), and we got to meet the author when I was little! We also have the Redwall cookbook, which gives lots of nice vegetarian recipes. I love how food is treated in that series, it was always a great chapter when they got to have a feast and it's a series that makes me excited about cooking and about eating with others

3. Guardians of Ga'hoole series by Kathryn Lasky - another product of the siblings' night readings, we got through this entire series (which is a lot of books lol). I liked the first ones best, but the entire series was good

4. Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan - I haven't read anything besides the first series but I really enjoyed reading that one with my siblings

5. Piggy Pie by Margie Palanti - this is my most memorable picture book! I love it, and my mom was really good at doing a witch voice for Gritch

ask me top 5 anything

[x0401x]

Animate Times Interview with Centimillimental

Discussing his journey so far and his love for this series, saying that he “felt something like fate” upon coming across “Given”! Interviewing Centimillimental, who did the theme songs and sound production of the summer anime “Given”.

The artist Centimillimental composed the opening of the TV anime “Given”, which aired in Fuji TV’s Noitamina and gathered a great amount of attention. Garnering comments about the sound production of the show’s band, Given, he released the opening theme “Kizuato” as a single on September 11!!

This is the debuting work of the solo unit Centimillimental, in which Atsushi-san does the vocals, keyboard, guitar and programming. In this article, which is surprisingly his first-ever interview, we shall introduce plenty of his journey until reaching this point and his thoughts regarding “Given”!

His current style was earned through “wanting to express joy and sorrow with music” as much as possible.

——Thank you for your time today!

This is actually my first time being interviewed (laughs). I will be in your care.

——Your first interview?! Please let us ask all kinds of questions. Firstly, could you tell us about the origins of Centimillimental?

Although it has the name Centimillimental, this is a solo unit. Rather than a singer and songwriter, I am more of a solo artist with a band stance. But it was originally a band. The band name remained just the way it was... that is all.

——What sort of band was it?

A four-piece one, with myself in charge of the vocals and keyboard. The band had a style close to pop, with a lead guitar, bass and drums, but the members pulled out one after another... Ultimately, I was the only one left. For that reason, people from the live concert houses were quite uneasy. Like, “Does the vocalist have a nasty personality or something?” (laughs).

——(Laughs) That is so not true.

Each one quit for their own reasons. But I had an obsession with the band, so I was like, “I’ll do this even if it’s just out of stubbornness” (laughs). And so, the band name stayed.

——Atsushi-san, what are the roots of your admiration for bands?

My root is Remioromen. I actually used to play classic music. I was so much of a classics boy that I would... turn off the TV whenever a music program was starting, but when (an insert song) “Konayuki” started playing in the drama “1 Liter no Namida”, which I watched back in fifth grade, it had an impact on me. Like, “So a singing voice can be this cool when it accompanies a melody”. From then on, I began looking up to bands.

——How did you handle classics from that point onward?

I continued playing for a long time, until I was around 20 years old. But then I was charmed by pop music and could no longer dedicate myself to classics (strainer laugh). I used to dream of becoming a pianist, but I felt that the mindsets of classics and pop were different, and then chose the way of pop.

——When you think about it now, what do you believe to have been the reason that a classics boy had his heart stolen by pop?

I had the feeling... that something more essential for my inspiration was set on fire, so to say. I think this something also exists for people who like classic, but in my case, I personally felt joy at the fact that “their singing voice is cool”, “their words pierce me”. So I was like, “This is what I actually prefer”. Also, I was drawn to the freedom of pop. The world of classics is devoted to music sheets, so in concourses, for example, it is important whether or not you can play true to the sheets, but I end up playing the way I want to on my own accord. Which is why the judges’ votes became worse year after year (bitter laugh). During this, there were also people who told me, “This is an insult”... But if I were in a world of originals where I could give birth to my own songs, wouldn’t my beliefs be justice? So I started to think that I was “the kind of person who wants to express himself freely”. To begin with, I have liked creating things since the distant past. I used to write stories of my own and making picture books with them in preschool, and from first grade on, I would be writing song compositions and poems. At any rate, I like creating things, so wouldn’t making them freely suit me better?

——So, if it is on the topic of “wanting to create things freely”, the way you are now is best, in a sense?

That is right (laughs). My degree of freedom has increased ever since I went solo. One of the reasons the band did not work was that my ideals and the image of my unshakable, inertial nature were very strong. I believe that so-called bands are supposed to get together in a studio and consolidate and gather up arrangements, but right as we formed ours, I would take the stance of writing down everyone’s parts and saying, “I want you to play this”. So I think that the current Centimillimental is what turned out from me doing everything I could, the place that I was supposed to reach.

——Nowadays, you are in charge of all parts, right? Did you play instruments other than piano from the start?

That is not the case. When our guitarist left the band, I did not want the quality of our music to be reduced, so I thought about supplementing it somehow, then learned how to play guitar. Also, I had to put my heart into it, but I started studying bass and drums when the others left, wondering if I could cover for them. The fact that the members pulled out had an influence on it.

——How was it coming in contact with instruments besides the piano?

The structures are completely different. Bands are formed so that each person can compensate for the other. When it comes to the beauty of such arrangements, I came to feel them more keenly the more I delved into them. And then I started obsessing with the arrangements.

——After these twists and turns, did Centimillimental become in 2015 what it is now?

No, there were actually twists and turns from this point on too... There was once a time when the band became just the bassist and me. Back then, the band was not doing too well, so we decided to do a different unit. That was the band called “Nee, Wasurenaide Ne” (“Hey, Don’t Forget”). In the end, I mostly had to do it by myself, but doing things separately from the main activities gave me a high degree of freedom. And then people started finding us interesting and we gradually earned their praise. For me, that was extremely frustrating (laughs

——So it became a “sub”-like band.

That is right. And then I thought about quitting, so I applied for an audience as a commemoration for quitting, to make one last memory... but then the work I had applied won a Grand Prix. I was like, “No way!?”. This happened in summer 2015. And that was when the main and sub switched (laughs). And so, only the band’s original name remained. The label respects us in the sense that we “can make the music that we always wanted to”.

——What is the origin of the band name “Centimillimental”?

“Remioromen” is a coined word, so I looked up to a coined word in katakana. I personally like katakana. Plus, I like “sentimental” things. That sentimental feeling when you are going home after a fun day thinking, “Today was a good day” and it suddenly makes you feel lonely, or that sentimental mood from when you are purely sad... I believe that sentimental emotions regarding anything are something that we should nestle close to. I had this thinking that I want to express joy and sorrow with music, so while using “sentimental” as the pillar, I added the “milli” with the meaning of “not being too caught up with it”.

——Come to think of it, both “Given” and “Kizuato” are written in katakana.

I guess I have a connection with katakana (laughs). If the words are in kanji or in hiragana, doesn’t that change the appearance and interpretation of each? While katakana has a coldness to it, it doesn’t feel too sharp. I have the feeling that these kinds of words are interesting.

“Gender doesn’t matter when you’re in love with someone.” – He also has experience with composing music having a BL series as the impetus?!

——How did you feel when you received the proposal about “Given”?

It was the first tie-up of my life, so I turned into a mess of nervousness, uncertainty and expectations. But “Given” is a series about music and the theme is bands, which was something I looked up to. Moreover, rather than just the sparkle and shine of a band, it also focuses on sadness, the tremor from losing something... these delicate parts of it.

I think music has a close relationship with meetings and partings, so I felt happiness to be involved with a series that faces this directly. It was like something that was supposed to come at me had arrived, and at the same time, I felt something similar to destiny. That was my first impression.

——The sensible portrayal is one of the charms of this series, right? I read on the topic that this series was the first-ever BL comic that Noitamina has adapted into anime, and there is an indescribable appeal in the words “boys’ love”...

It allows you to smoothly immerse yourself into their worldview, right?

I have bought a BL manga in the past. In my middle school days, buying a book after looking at just the title was trending. At the time, what I took in my hands was a short story collection titled “Saigo no Sangatsu”. I thought at first, “I might’ve jumped into a terrible world!” but turns out it was a really good work...

Gender doesn’t matter when you love someone; it’s all the same. It was a really good work, so I was quick to wrote a song for it (laughs).

——That is a good story. By the way, did you use to watch anime back then?

I was not the type to watch anime in-depth. But what I thought to be odd was that, whenever you finish watching a series, doesn’t the way that you listen to the opening themes, ending themes and insert songs change?

Through the filter that is the series, the tone of the music changes, and the story stands out instead as the music overlaps with it... While watching, I would find myself thinking that this way of snuggling up to the music was interesting.

——What were your impressions when you read the original work of “Given”?

Kizu Natsuki-sensei’s focused viewpoint on pain is quite sharp. Her poetic depictions, which sometimes get you caught in them, are impactful and sensible. I thought it was a series that cherished words a lot. Since it is a manga, I think the art is the main point, of course, but I felt a literary beauty in it that resides not just in the drawings. It also felt close to the world of songs that I take part in, so I truly had the feeling that it was fate.

——So the image of the song came readily to you?

Right you are. That is where I arrived once I wrote down my own perspective of romantic love and the ways that people become involved with each other. The sense of suitability was incredible. That’s why I was able to write it so frankly, managed to say what I wanted to, and got close to the series. I feel that the compatibility was really good.

But of course, there were walls. I write even the arrangements by myself, so I had to make changes over and over, and I had never had any experiences with being the producer of a band before, so there were things I was not used to. Also, my main instrument is the piano, but there is no piano in the show. That’s why I had to delve into the guitar, so there I had a hard time sound-wise...

“I want it to be an important song for everyone from ‘Given’ too!”

——Can you tell us about your particularities regarding the sound of “Kizuato”?

For the anime size version, I purposely sealed away the piano and classic strings that I had been specializing in until now. For the whole song, in order to nestle closer to “Given”, I cherished the band’s scene, with a guitar, bass and drums.

——I felt a big meaning in the fact that it starts with a breath. Is it something that you gave importance to?

I like the sharpness of songs that start with the singing. That feeling of getting taken aback without thinking. Same goes for sighing - I feel that people’s emotions mount on their breathing. Through “the drawing of a breath”, you can sense a beauty and strength unique of vocal songs. For that reason, I cherished the breaths from the very start.

I also think that the breaths are very important in “Given”. For example, in the teaser trailer, the video ends with a breath, and in the PV, the scenes change with breaths too. That’s why I think it was good to be able to start the song like this.

——I felt that the lyrics portrayed the sensible feelings of all four, starting with Mafuyu, but how was it made?

They are human beings, so I think there is definitely a part of their emotions somewhere that they can share. The loneliness and agony of losing something, the conflicts of loving someone... anyone has that. I looked for keywords that would connect everyone from “Given”, including me. For me and for all the characters that appear in “Given”, it could not be a lie...

——The “four seasons” bit in the lyrics was also a good keyword.

I think that is one of the main points of the series, and that this part of it can connect even within me.

——The words “I can hear it and it’s still real, so I’ll carry your heart in your place” from the latter half are extremely painful, but at the same time, it conveys resolve and determination. Were you conscious of the machinations of their hearts or something like that within the song?

I think it is wonderful when emotions get into motion as the song goes on. Aren’t there moments in everyday life where wounds heal little by little and changes of heart where we try to get back on our feet even if they do not heal? I like story-songs that head towards hope in this fashion. I also want everyone in “Given” to be happy. I gave importance to how they should head towards hope while sharing those wounds.

——The song changes dramatically after the aforementioned verse.

I finished it with a classic orchestra sound. That is one of the strong points of my music, so I had the desire to approach “Given” through it. If I sealed away my music too much and made it into just a “Given” song, it would feel like I was standing on formality. I am a person who gets hurt and even so lives on crying and laughing, just like them. I pieced together that part of the song because I wanted to convey this message.

——So you let your uniqueness show in order to join hands with “Given”. Indeed, both with love and friendship, getting close to the other person is not all there is to it.

Right. That alone is not a connection, and you end up concluding that your own love is too deep... I believe there is a 50:50 beauty to it. Isn’t that what acknowledging one another and joining hands means?

“Kizuato” is my debut song and an important song for me. That’s why I also want it to be an important song for everyone from Given (the band). I thought about intersecting that. After thinking a lot, I managed to change the charm between the anime size and the full size.

At the beginning of the A-melody from the second chorus, I tried changing the rhythm, transforming it into an electro loop, and did all sorts of approaches. I hoped it would be wide-ranging as music.

——How did you feel when you watched the opening?

I was extremely moved. I had gathered with all the recording members to watch it, and everyone shared their joy too. It was a really good scene.

Having my own music playing in sync with an animation was my dream, so I was tremendously happy, and I felt like I had connected with the viewers who had the same feeling... I was truly overjoyed.

When I looked on Twitter, people had written up several opinions, making me go, “So there’s this many people enjoying my music”.

“It’s exactly because the desire to protect someone isn’t something simple that we feel uncertain.”

——Other than the OP, you also did the sound production of the band Given, so what impressions did you have from the production work?

I already liked production work to begin with. Until then, I had been doing producer-like things, such as arrangements for the musical compositions of artists around me, but this was my first time doing production as a job.

I mentioned Remioromen earlier, but I also looked up to Kobayashi Takeshi-san, who was Remioromen’s producer as well, so I had also wanted to work on production one day.

——Given’s debut single, “Maru Tsuke/Fuyu no Hanashi”, was released on September 18 2019. “Maru Tsuke” is also included in Centimillimeter’s single as a self-cover, but what kind of route did you take to complete this song?

To tell the truth, I had a song called “Maru Tsuke” for quite a long time. I already had its base form since 2015, so the song was in a state similar to an accompaniment material.

“Maru Tsuke” came into light during the meetings, and I didn’t think this song would have made it into the topic of discussions, so I was surprised. I was anxious at first, but when I tried facing it once again, there were so many fitting aspects to it that it even made me say, “So it can get this close to the series”. I felt like it connected with “Given” on a deep level, despite not having written that song for it.

——Holding someone dear, becoming a coward because of it, shouldering all sorts of feelings, and continuing to live in spite of that... What you talk about in “Maru Tsuke” might be things that everyone thinks.

The moment you start loving someone, you feel fear at the same time and become fragile. It’s exactly because the desire to protect someone isn’t something simple that we feel uncertain, and there is not only light to it, but I think loving someone is something beautiful. I get the sense that this swirling feeling itself is beautiful. That is what I threw into the song, and it was also one of the themes of “Given”. The fact that I managed to connect them goes without saying, but it’s like being told that I wasn’t mistaken about the things I gave importance to, which made me happy. In order to connect even better, I reconstructed the sound making and structure one more time, aiming for higher heights as a composition for “Given”.

——What were you conscious of for the direction?

Yano Shougo-san (the voice of Mafuyu) is a workaholic, so he sings all sorts of songs, but I thought there was a difference between songs sung by band vocalists and songs sung by voice actors. So I figured that it would be good if I could share with him the methods of band vocalists and band sounds in my own way, thus I have him that kind of direction.

I was also very conscious of “conveying words”. I believe that the author, Kizu Natsuki-sensei (who is also a producer of Given), also cherished words a lot. I think this also reflects on the songs.

——Was there anything you felt when you actually conducted the production?

First of all, I was extremely happy that a song I made was sung. It was expressed in a way that I myself couldn’t do, and even if the emotions are the same, the way people view it changes depending on who’s singing. Seeing it hand-in-hand with the series, spreading up just like that and growing bigger made me happy.

——The other song, “Fuyu no Hanashi”, played during the show in episode nine.

From the very beginning, there was already a song titled “Fuyu no Hanashi” in the drama CD, but this song began from me creating a new “Fuyu no Hanashi”. “Fuyu no Hanashi” already existed for the fans, so I saw plenty of everyone’s love for it on Twitter and such, and also how it comes close to their daily lives. I dreaded painting over it, but... I believed it was fate that I had received this proposal, so I thought, “I’m going to do all I can”. While there was pressure, there was also joy, so it was a strange feeling.

To tell the truth, when I received the proposal for “Given”, the offer for “Fuyu no Hanashi” came first-thing. That’s why I actually started the production from there. Afterward, I received proposals for the session track that plays in the middle of the show and for the theme songs... That is how it went.

——Was that so?! The seed, the piece that would give you most pressure came first, so to say.

That’s right. But for me, this was a comfortable wall. I worked on it while thinking that, if I could make many people happy with it, then it would be a big step for me.

——What kind of feelings did you put into it?

I figured it would probably be used for the live concert scene in the middle of the show, so I read the scene and imagined the concert over and over. In the drama CD, it could only be portrayed with sounds and voices, so I think they probably gave importance to how they would insert the monologues into the lyrics. In the anime’s case, there would be an animation accompanying the song, so I reflected on what the “Fuyu no Hanashi” that I could compose was. Like a shout for a person who has been lost... It’s a requiem, but also a follow-up of one’s true intentions... I wanted to treasure those messed-up feelings. Also, I thought it was a song that had been preciously loved until then, so I had a strong sense of duty not to ruin this.

Being involved with “Given” changed his life!!

——Could you also tell us about the track “Sessions” (The Seasons) that plays during the show?

I received the proposal for this one after “Fuyu no Hanashi”. “There’s a scene in the show that goes like this, so if you’d like, couldn’t you make a track for it,” they asked.

I had never made an actual instrumental band track. Counting the fact that three pieces had already been decided for the story, it was quite a pressure on me.

When I actually watched the scene where they are performing it in the anime, my spirits went right up. Like, “So this is how the band will go”. The sensation that oozed from my hands and spread into me felt truly good.

——Lastly, Atsushi-san, could you tell us... about the things you have realized and earned through the music production of “Given”?

It’s a series that has several places where everyone can join hands. I think that is exactly why so many fans love this work.

Being involved with “Given” has changed my notions of life, and I feel that it was a huge feat, if only for my musical life. I am filled to the brim with happy feelings for being part of it.

——Thank you very much for telling us so many things today.

[wiypt-writes]

Riding High

Ch14: True Perfection Has To Be Imperfect

Chapter Summary: Frank gets the keys to the new apartment and the renovations start. Everything seems to be going so well for them all, until Fliss gets some news that rocks the very foundations they’ve been building.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

 A/N: As always, if you like and enjoy please comment and Re-Blog. I’d love to hear your thoughts and questions!

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 13

 It’s your time, it’s your day, it’s never too late, to change lanes.

Frank could tell something was off the minute he pulled onto the yard. The usual chatter that rang out was absent and there just seemed a general air about the place that he couldn't identify. But it wasn't long before he found out why.

"Fliss is on the floor!" Mary’s voice loud with worry as she pointed into the paddock. Frank glanced over as he shut the door to his truck and felt himself grow cold. He broke into a jog, heading towards the fence and let out a sigh of relief when he saw she was moving.

“Wait here…” he instructed Mary before, with a flourish, he vaulted over the side of the paddock and jogged across the riding paddock.

 “What happened?” he asked.

 “Oh, hey Sailor!” Fliss grinned up at him, where she lay flat on her back, Thor led by her side, head on her thigh. “Just had a fall but everything’s working, just giving myself a minute to get my breath and what not.” “Nothing broken.” Joanne looked at Frank from where she knelt by Fliss, the reins to the big, black horse in her hands

Frank knelt down next to Fliss and looked at her as she reached out and gently ran her hand down his forearm. “How d’ya fall off?” “Oh Bronson got confused at the jump, was trying to dodge out to the right. I corrected him and he kind of took off, twisted mid-air and I got unseated.” she explained.

 “It was a pretty good show of acrobatics.” Joanne nodded in agreement.

 Thor gave a little whine and his head moved, his eyes looking up at Fliss who scratched his ear.

 “I’m ok, mate.” she said softly. “I’m good.”

 "This wouldn't happen on a boat ya know" Frank teased gently and she looked up at him, quirking an eyebrow as she propped herself up on her elbows.

 "Boats are boring...nothing like having a half tonne animal between your legs" she replied, causing him and Joanne to smirk.

“You’re terrible.” Joanne shook her head as Fliss simply grinned.

 “Okay, I’m good to go." Fliss sat up fully. Frank got up off his knees and held out his hand, gently pulling her to her feet. She dusted herself off and then turned to take Bronson's reins off Joanne.

 "Can you give me a leg up?" She asked and Frank felt his heart stop

 "You cannot be serious!" He spluttered back.

 "What?"

 “You’re getting back on?”

 “Yeah.” Fliss looked at Frank as if he was stupid “I’m not hurt, not really, just gonna ache like hell for a few days. It’s the same as riding a bike, you don’t stop if you fall off!” “It’s a little different to riding-“

“Besides,” she spoke over him, “he’ll be unsettled and if I don’t get on and end the session well it’s gonna be in his mind, and mine for that matter, for next time and it’ll just be a nightmare so…”

Frank knew there was no point in arguing with her. Instead he held his hands up and backed away as Joanne boosted her up.

“What happened?” Mary asked as he reached the paddock fence she was now perched sideways on, her legs hanging either side.

 “She fell off.” Frank answered simply. “She’s okay though. She’s back on.” They watched as Fliss gently walked the horse round before picking up trot, then canter and then turned him straight for the jump. Frank grimaced slightly but he needn’t have bothered, the horse cleared the fence and Fliss gently slowed him down, patting him.

 “Fucking crazy.” Frank mumbled to himself, shaking his head.

Whilst Fliss wasn’t seriously injured, she was certainly feeling the effects later on that night. Frank had called Verity, despite Fliss’ protests that she was fine, who had dropped round to Frank’s with some painkillers that were slightly stronger than your average ones. Fliss had taken two before dinner and as a result had started feeling a little bit woozy and light headed, commenting to Frank that it felt like she’d been smoking something funny. After diverting Mary’s questions on what that meant, they’d watched a bit of TV until Fliss announced she was thirsty.

 “I’ll get it.” Frank made to move but she stopped him.

 “I’m fine.” she sat up with a grimace, grabbing at her notoriously bad shoulder.

 “Baby, just-“ “Frank, stop it!” she said a little sternly. “I’ve fallen off more horses than you’ve had women.” “Wow.” he looked at her, and she snorted.

“I just mean it ain’t the first time and it sure as hell won’t be the last, kinda comes with the territory. I’m just gonna a bit bruised.”

 “Fine” he relented, and she pushed herself up off the sofa and walked slowly into the kitchen.

 A moment later he heard her groan “Fraaaaaaank.” “What?”

 “The soda’s on the top shelf. I can’t stretch my arm.” “What’s that? You do need my help?” “Stop being a dick.” she shot back, and with a wink at Mary who was laughing, he stood up and headed into the kitchen.

Not long after that they all ended up heading to bed. Frank knew that tomorrow was going to be a long day as he was getting the keys to the new apartment in the morning and they were starting the work straight away, Bill already scheduled to come and help. He’d booked as much time as he dared off work over the next week, given that he hadn’t been working there all that long but thankfully his Team Leader had been very understanding and Bill had said he’d take over on the days Frank had to be in.

Fliss stretched out, hissing at the bite of pain that coursed through her side and shoulder, the noise she made caused Thor to immediately spring up on the bed, nuzzling his face into Fliss' causing her to wince a little as he basically led over her like a huge teddy bear.

"Careful, buddy." Frank gently chastised the dog, reaching over to scratch his ears. He knew the animal was incredibly tuned into Fliss’ feelings, as were Cap and Heidi, the two horses she owned. It was something that genuinely amazed him and, if he was honest, made him smile a lot.

"Stupid soft git." Fliss muttered fondly, as Thor lay his head on her chest, teetering on the edge of the mattress, precariously, until a few seconds later he rolled and toppled off causing them both to giggle. The German shepherd shook himself off, shot them a scathing look, before he headed to his bed and flopped down with a loud huff.

"He didn't like it when you were on the floor before." Frank said softly, as she moved tenderly to lay her head on his chest. His hand reached round to card through her hair and down the side of her neck.

"No he never has." Fliss said gently "Ever since I got him he's been like that. He would always be the one that would lay by me, lick my face after...." she trailed off, the sentence didn’t need completing.  "He would growl something rotten at John when he started, but it was Loki that went for him in the end. That's why John killed him"

Frank stiffened, his hand stilling on the crown of her head, not quite sure he had heard right. "He killed your dog?" he repeated, questioningly.

"Yeah." Fliss swallowed. “He said he had bought him as a guard dog for the property not for me." She sniffed a little. "He poisoned him"

 "Oh, Lissy, I..." Frank sighed and she gently tangled her hand in the hair on his chest.

"I know."

 They lay still for a moment, her hand tracing shapes on his skin before she suddenly blurted out.

 "How do you do it? How do you make being with you so fucking easy?"

 "What?" Frank frowned.

 "This...I mean...you're kind, gentle, smart, funny, considerate. You know I’d half convinced myself you were gonna be crap in the sack to compensate it all but..." she shook her head. "I don’t get it."

"You don't get it because you spent almost four years living with a cunt who treat you like shit"  Frank said simply, anger flooding his system. “Lissy, I’m not perfect, far from it. I’m stubborn, opinionated, shit with words, I’m really untidy as you’ve noticed and, well, up until meeting you my longest relationship in the last ten years lasted for six months.” He shook his head. “All I do is treat you how you should be treated, with love and respect. Don’t put me on a fucking pedestal for being normal.”

She tilted her head and looked at him for a second, as Frank took a breath. That outburst had been a little uncalled for and harsher in tone than he’d meant, but he wanted her to understand that their relationship was normal. The way he treat her was normal. He was uncomfortable with this idea that she thought he was something special because he didn’t abuse her or hit her.

“I’m sorry I just…” he felt her stiffen besides him and he let out a soft sigh.

“No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sound so abrupt.” He gently pulled her closer and nuzzled his face into her hair, kissing her head “You’re worthy of everything I said as a bare minimum. It’s not me being some kind of saint.”

“Can I put you on a pedestal for being gorgeous?” she asked after a moment’s pause and Frank snorted, shaking his head. “Well you are.” She protested at his response. There was another pause, until she broke the silence once more. “I do get it you know. Maybe I do appreciate you more because you’re not like him but, is that so wrong?”

“I’m not saying that, we’re together, we should appreciate each other.” he pressed. “I’m just telling you I’m not flawless.” “I know that.” she shrugged “Neither of us are. But isn’t that what makes this so perfect? It is because it isn’t. Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without”

“Confucius.” Frank raised an eyebrow at her, a small smile on his face as she looked up at him once more. Her eyes flashed and she grinned at him “How very philosophical.”

 She laughed “We’ll you’d know all about that, Professor.”

“Okay, here’s another one of his.” Frank grinned back. “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall…”

“See, I told you I was right to get back on Bronson.” she quipped and at that Frank laughed.

******

Fliss woke the next morning to Frank gently kissing her cheek, softly running his hand over her hair.

“Morning Sweetheart.” he placed a mug of coffee on the side as she blinked and looked at him “How you feeling?” “Fucking sore.” she groaned. “What time is it?” “Half eight. I just packed Mary off on the bus.” “Half eight?” she sat up suddenly, immediately regretting it and winced once more. “Fuck, my alarm”

“Yeah I turned it off. Think the last batch of painkillers you took at three am wiped you out.” he sat on the edge of the bed as she shuffled up. She made to reach for her drink and let out a little huff of pain so Frank stopped her and handed it to her.

“Thanks.” She smiled. “I’ll ease off when I start to move about.”

“Well, don’t rush about.” He instructed as she took a drink of her coffee, before he saw her face fall.

“Oh, shit. I have a lesson to give at ten in St Pete’s…” she frowned, and Frank could she she was starting to worry so he gently reached out, tucking her wild auburn locks behind her ear.

“Just chill.” He shushed her. “Joanne called before.” He nodded to her phone “I answered and told her I didn’t know if you were gonna be in but she said she’d open up and reschedule your morning appointments. Then you can see how you feel this afternoon.”

For a moment he thought she was going to flip out at him effectively making a decision like that for her but after a second or two pause she gave a grateful smile and sat back against the pillows.

“Thank you.”

“Take your time, your mom and dad will be here in a bit. Then we’re gonna get the keys and start on the apartment.” Fliss grinned as she took another drink of coffee.“You excited?” “Yeah, yeah I am.” He said, honestly. “Just wanna get it all started and then we can move in.” She smiled and he stood up. “Your mom’s bringing breakfast, said something about her boys not being able to work on an empty stomach.” He arched a brow. “Her boys?” Fliss smirked over her mug. “You really have got her wrapped around your finger.” He chuckled “Well what can I say, I’m a likeable guy…” “Hmmm you’re something I’ll give you that.” she quipped, and he laughed, placing a kiss on her cheek before heading back out of the room.

It wasn’t long before Fliss’ parents arrived and they ate breakfast, Verity fussing over Fliss who kept assuring her and her dad that they were fine. Once they’d eaten, Bill and Frank headed over to meet his new landlord and after he handed over the keys, they got to work. For their first task they shut the utilities off and ripped out the bathroom, which wasn’t too big a job seeing as half of the damned suite was smashed up anyway. Once that was done they moved into the living room and tossed out the tatty old furniture that had been left before doing their first run to the local dump. Then they moved onto ripping up the carpet in the living room.

“Shit!” Bill spluttered as a cloud of dust rose up from where they had wrenched the offending item free from the tacks. Frank blinked, backing up slightly, before he stood up, arm across his mouth. “Didn’t think it would be that bad.”

Bill rose to his feet and they both moved away, Frank picking up a bottle of water that was on the side and rinsing his face with it. He tossed it to Bill who did the same, the pair of them looking at one another before snorting a laugh each, and shaking their heads.

“And I thought this would be the easy bit.” Bill wiped his face. “Was less hassle ripping out the bathroom.”

 It took them an hour or so to cut the carpet into easily manageable pieces, rip it up, and toss it into the back of their trucks. By now it was scorching outside, and also inside as the air con wasn’t on seeing as they had no power. This meant both men were dripping with sweat and Frank couldn’t remember ever feeling so damned warm or grubby in his entire life.

 By lunch time they’d pretty much cleared the lot. Carpets, broken light fittings, broken kitchen doors and also the old washing machine. Grabbing another bottle of water, Frank stood outside the apartment, hand on his hips and smiled at Bill who gave him a pat on the shoulder.

“Good job, son.” he nodded. “It’s a blank canvas now. Dave will be here soon with the new bathroom, shouldn’t take us too long to plumb it all in, connections are already there. We can start the tiling tomorrow.”

Frank smiled and grabbed his T-shirt at the bottom, lifting it up to wipe at his face and as he did so he heard a sharp wolf whistle. When he emerged from his shirt he grinned and looked at Fliss who was slowly walking towards them with Verity, Thor following behind, both women carried familiar paper bags.

Frank made his way over and she stopped, where as Verity carried on, quite tactfully towards Bill and Fliss grinned.

“Hey.” she greeted him as he leaned down to give her a kiss and she wrinkled her face. “Gross, you’re all filthy and sweaty and…” She trailed off, her eyes glinting as her voice dropped slightly and she ran a hand up his arm to his shoulder “Actually…” “Behave.” he raised his eyebrow at her.

“Don’t wanna.” she pouted.

 He shook his head and nodded to the bag. “You bring me lunch, Honey?”

 “You need to keep your strength up.” She winked. “Mom drove us to Subway.” “I love you Verity!” Frank called as he fished out his Turkey sub and she grinned at him.

The four of them settled down where they could, Fliss sitting on the steps, Frank by her feet on the lawn and Bill and Verity perched on the tail of Bill’s truck. They ate together, Fliss telling Frank she’d postponed her teaching now until Monday to allow herself time to heal a little, which he was secretly pleased about. It wasn’t long after they had finished lunch that the new bathroom turned up the women left them to it.

Frank and Bill worked well together and between the two of them they had it fit in little under two hours and Bill connected the water back up to test it. When it worked properly Frank gave a nod of satisfaction and smiled. The suite was an off white colour, nice and with a modern large bath. It might have been second hand but you couldn’t tell, and Frank liked it.

“Not bad for a day’s work.” Bill smiled. “The tiling shouldn’t take too long tomorrow and then, well, it’s just a case of decorating and a new carpet.” At that point the two men heard footsteps and looked up to see Mary bounding in, followed by Fliss and Verity.

“Hey Stack.” Frank greeted her as she looked around. “Whaddya think so far?” Mary nodded appreciatively. “Least it has a toilet.” The adults laughed and Frank nodded “Yeah, I mean we can move in now.” “What?” she frowned “There’s no carpet in the living room!”

 “I was being sarcastic.” Frank replied and she narrowed her eyes at him.

 “Roberta says sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.”

“Well, she’d know.” he shrugged.

 “Am I staying there tonight?” She questioned Frank.

“It’s up to you.” he replied “We’re not going out are we, Honey?”

Fliss shook her head “No way, I ache too much, but I was thinking we could BBQ maybe? All of us?” “Ooooh, yeah!” Mary nodded, agreeably “Then Roberta can come too.” Frank shrugged “Yeah, I’m ok with that.” “Mum, Dad?” Fliss asked.

 Verity and Bill exchanged looks and Bill nodded. “I need to nip home and shower first but…” “No need.” Fliss shook her head. “We swung by and picked you a spare change up. You can shower at Frank’s.” “Oh can I?” Bill looked at her. She grinned back in response as Bill turned to Frank “That okay? You know, seeing as it’s your place, not hers.” Fliss stuck her tongue out at her father whilst Frank simply shrugged.

“She acts like she owns the damned place when she’s there anyway so it might as well be.” he teased and she glared at him, digging him in the ribs.

 “Shut up”

*****

The next ten days consisted much in the same vein. Frank had to work on the Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday but Bill took over the painting for him, and then on the Friday, a week after they had started, they fit the new carpets. The Saturday they spent fixing on the new kitchen doors and plumbing in the washing machine and on Sunday morning Frank fit the final touches, screwing in the new light fittings and then it was done.

That afternoon, Frank and Fliss stood in the middle of the living room admiring the finished article. It smelt of new carpet and wet paint, a smell Frank had grown immune to having been breathing it in for god knows how long.

 “It looks great.” Fliss smiled, taking the fresh, light grey walls, darker grey carpet which was complemented by the brushed steel modern light fittings.

 “Yeah, not a bad job.” Frank grinned. “We can start moving the stuff over tomorrow.” At that point Mary barrelled in from the hallway and beamed “My room looks awesome, Fliss, come see!” She gushed. Fliss allowed Mary to pull her out of the living room and followed her down the hall to the room on the right. It was a good sized bedroom, and it was freshly painted in light blue, a colour Mary had chosen herself.

 “Frank says I’m getting a new cabin bed soon with a desk underneath and I’m gonna put it against that wall.” She rambled on. “And on that wall I’m gonna stick my shells and there I’m gonna have my shelves for my books and a TV…” Frank leaned in the doorway watching as Mary pointed everything out to Fliss, his face curling into a smile. He’d never thought something so simple as having her own room would make the girl so damned happy.

 “…and Fred can have his own basket, although he never sleeps in them anyway…” Mary was continuing and Fliss looked up and caught Frank’s eye. He smiled at her gently and she beamed back.  “…and I can put my photos here…”  Mary finished “What do you think?” “I think it sounds amazing, Stack.” Fliss said, smiling at her “I can’t wait to see it all finished.” “Okay.” Frank pushed himself up straight from the door frame “Let’s go grab your stuff Stack and head over to find out what V’s made for dinner.” “I hope it’s beef.” Mary said, skipping out “Her Sunday beef is the best.” “It’s chicken.” Fliss whispered as Frank laughed, dropping an arm round her shoulders as they made their way outside. He locked the door and they headed back to the apartment, Mary collecting her stuff. Once Frank had checked she had everything she needed he tossed it into the truck and turned to Fliss.

“I’ve been thinking.” he said, as Mary climbed into the seat.

“Sounds dangerous.” Frank rolled his eyes “I know we said we weren’t gonna move in together yet, but, well, how about you bring some stuff over once I’ve got all the bedroom furniture and then that way you don’t need to pack a bag when you come stay.” Fliss smiled at him. “A sensible suggestion.” she agreed, her arms sliding around his neck.

“It has been known.” He grinned, his hands dropping to her hips as he leaned down to kiss her. They both jumped as the horn on the truck sounded and Mary leaned across the seats.

“Come on, stop kissing, I’m hungry.” “How about we ditch her on the side of the road?” Frank spoke loudly to Fliss and Mary scoffed.

“Stop making empty threats, Frank.” she sing songed.

Frank looked at Fliss who burst out laughing “You have no idea how damned similar the pair of you are.” She smiled with a shake of her head. *******

 It was almost a fortnight later when Mary casually told Frank she had reached her decision about Evelyn. It was a Friday and she had been at University for two classes that morning, and was heading to normal school for the rest of the afternoon. Part of the reason that Frank worked late on a Tuesday was so that he could be flexible when it came to things like this and could pop out for an hour or so to go and pick her up when he needed to.

He greeted her in the hallway as always and she slipped her little hand into his as they walked back outside and over to his truck. She glanced in the paper bag which contained her lunch he had bought her from the deli near the boat store, a treat he liked to get her every Friday now he could happily afford it without worrying and she grinned.

 “Save it for when you get to School. Otherwise everyone else will be eating and you won’t.” She folded the top of the paper bag over and grinned at him as he eased his way up the freeway.

“You drive like an old lady.” she grinned and Frank took a deep breath, a smirk on his face. That was a comment Fliss had made to him on numerous occasions, one which he normally retorted back with some reference to her driving like a maniac.

“It's Florida. I'm blending in.” He said simply to Mary, smile still playing on his lips. She side-eyed him for a moment, in a way that made her look ridiculously like Diane, even though he knew, again, that was a habit she’d picked up from Fliss. Or Roberta for that matter. Frank had a feeling that as Mary grew up she was going to be a perfect candidate for the whole nature v nurture debate…

“I talked to Fliss last night.” Mary said.

“I know, you stole the phone off me when she called and ran off to your room.”

“Yeah, why didn’t she stay with us last night?” “It’s Thursday, she never stays on a Thursday. You know this. She had paper work to do.” Mary fell silent.

“What were you going to say?” Frank gently pressed her.

“Huh?” “You said you talked to Fliss. Was that all you wanted to tell me or…” “Oh, no.” Mary replied “I asked her about whether I should see Evelyn.”

Frank took a deep breath, his face remaining passive “Right, so what did she say?” “The same as you. That it was my decision and whatever I wanted everyone would understand and be okay with it and that no one would be mad…”

“Of course no one will be mad.” Frank looked at her. “Evelyn is your grandmother, and it’s your decision if you wanna see her. Not mine, not the courts, not anybody’s but yours. And no one, not even me, is gonna be upset about what you decide, you got that?” “I know. And I’ve made up my mind.” “Yeah?” She nodded “I want to see her.” “Okay.” Frank licked his lips. Truth be told he wasn’t sure how he felt about this but he meant what he said. It was up to Mary and at least now he would have some control over the access. “If you’re sure then I’ll call her on Monday and we’ll make some arrangements.” “Maybe she can come here, see our new place.” “Maybe.” Frank nodded, although he had a feeling that hell freezing over would be more likely.

There was a moment’s silence as both of them were lost in their own thoughts. Frank stole a glance at his niece as she sat looking out of the window, chewing her lip and he decided to move her away from the subject as he turned off the main road.

“How was school?”

“Fun.” Mary nodded. “Not like regular school fun. But interesting.”

Fun. Regular. Two words Frank had craved for Mary all her damned life, and it made him smile to hear her so full of life, so happy, so settled.

Mary’s attention flickered from him to the seat next to her and she moved her lunch bag to look at it.

“What is this book?” she asked, picking it up and flicking it open.

“Discourse on Method.” Frank said, giving her the title of his latest read “Rene Descartes.”

“What's it about?” she pressed.

“Existence.”

“Existence?”

“Yup. I think, therefore I am” he said, a small smile on his face.

“Well, of course you are. That's obvious.” Marry rolled her eyes and Frank supressed a snort. Everything was so logical in her little brain, there was an innocence to it all that he loved.

“I think about Fred, therefore, I am Fred.” she continued.

“Cogito ergo Fred?” Frank teased looking at her.

“He's a dude and he's a guy,” Mary grinned, “and he only has one eye.”

Frank let out a chuckle as Mary tipped her head back and continued in a loud, ridiculous voice.

“Fred! Fred! Fred! Freeeeddddyyyy, Fred, Fred!”

Frank laughed began to slow down, pulling up by the school.

“All right, here we are.” He glanced over and saw Mary was fiddling with her belt and opening the door. “Hey, wait till I come to a stop…” he started to protest.

“Then come to a stop already!” Without so much as a glance back she grabbed her lunch and shot over to the playground which was brimming with other kids. He watched, a small smile playing on his face as she made her way over, dropping her lunch to the floor and throwing herself into a game. Something that he would never have believed possible back in September when she’d first started. But here she was, almost seven months later, like she’d been there all her life. His attention flicked to Bonnie as the woman shot him a friendly wave and a nod, which he returned before he set off back to work before someone called the cops on him for sitting outside a school staring at a yard full of kids.

****

As he was winding up at work for the day, Jake called him, an impromptu guys night out was being organised for that night as Jake had a ‘pass out’, his words not Frank’s. Frank hesitated for a moment, he hadn’t planned anything with Fliss as such, but it was Friday, their night…

“Oh come on!” Jake snorted as Frank rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me Frank Adler is hesitating over a night out!”

“No, it’s not that…” Frank protested “We’ve just had a really busy fortnight and…” “Man you’re whipped. Already. What is this? Like month five and you’re already in the-”

“I’m not whipped, I just like spending time with my girl, what’s wrong with that?”

“Dude come on!”

“Okay, okay.” Frank sighed. “What time?” “Eight at Fergs, and if you don’t show I’m gonna come round your gaff and drag you out myself.”

Frank shook his head and cut the call before he dialled Fliss.

“Hey, Sailor.” She greeted. “I was just thinking about you.”

“About me or that thing I did to you on Wednesday night?” he grinned and she snorted.

“No, about you. Although now I’m thinking about that thing.”

Frank chuckled. “So what were you thinking about?”

“Oh, erm, tonight. Thought we could grab a pizza and head up to the marina for a walk, maybe grab a beer.”

“Erm, yeah.” He sighed. Shit.

“We don’t have to.” She responded, clearly reading his voice tone. “It was just an idea.”

“No, I do, I just….” He took a deep breath. “Well, Jake called, said the guys are going for beers and it’s been a while since we all got together so I was…” “Frank…” Fliss laughed softly “You don’t need to justify yourself. If you wanna go out, go out.” “You don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?”

“Well, Fridays are kinda our night.”

“I know but, well it’s not as much of a big thing now Mary has her own room, we kinda get our own nights a bit more often.” “Ok, fair point.” he smiled and she laughed.

“Maybe I can wait for you at yours? I can go to Roberta’s for a little while with Mary.” “You don’t have to ask.” Frank smiled softly “You can stay whenever you want, you know that.”

“Well, that’s settled then.” she replied, before someone shouted to her and she retorted before coming back to Frank “Sorry baby, I gotta go but I’ll see you later.” “Ok, love you.” “You too…”

***** After Frank headed out, Fliss wandered down to Roberta’s with a bottle of wine and after more loud hairbrush-karaoke, Roberta had cracked open the Bourbon and the two women had sat on the stoop until just gone eleven when Fliss had headed back. Throwing on one of Frank’s T-shirts she crawled into the king sized bed (an excellent purchase decision that she had talked him into) and snuggled down into the new blankets (another excellent purchase decision), Thor jumping up and taking his position by her feet.

She can’t have been asleep long when she woke as Thor gave a low whine and jumped off the bed, nudging the door open and heading out into the hallway.

Then she heard a thud, followed by cursing.

“Shit. Who put that there?” She heard Frank groan, then he started laughing “Thor! Get down!”

There was more laughing, and protests which Fliss listened to for a moment, before she swung her legs out of bed and headed down the short hallway. She quickly checked the front door as she walked past to make sure he’d locked it behind him, and then headed into the living room to find Frank led on the floor as Thor basically jumped all over him, licking his face and wagging his tail.

“Some guard dog you are.” Frank laughed again as he attempted to push the dog off him.

“Good job you’re not a burglar then.” Fliss spoke, causing Frank to look up, grinning stupidly at her “Mind you, the amount of noise you’re making you’d be a pretty shit one…”

“Heeey…” he grinned, as Thor finally moved off him and he pushed himself to his feet. “There you are!”

“Here I am.” Fliss nodded, and she couldn’t help but smile at the look on his face. He was beaming at her, a stark contrast to how John was when he used to come home drunk, but then that was Frank all over, a completely different person, and she knew that.

“There you are, my girl.” He stopped in front of her, his hands falling to her hips. “C’mere…”

“Ok, someone had a good night.” She grinned as he placed a sloppy kiss on her lips.

“Yeah, it was.” He nodded and then he suddenly looked around “So the bedroom moved.” he turned back to her and whispered conspiratorially. “It’s not where it usually is...”

“No, you moved.” She laughed. “You moved apartments, remember?”

“Oh yeah.” He nodded, before he looked down at her, taking in her bare legs “Is that my T-shirt?”

“Yes.” “Take it off, thief.” “Okay, let’s get you to bed.” Fliss patted his chest.

“Yeah?” He arched his eyebrow grinning.

“To sleep.”

“No sleep.” He pouted, dropping his head to gently nuzzle at her neck. “Wanna give you some lovin’...”

“Yeah and how are you gonna do that when you’re too drunk to take your pants off?” Fliss laughed as she led him down the hallway.

“You can take em off…” He said as he stopped in the bedroom, looking round.

“Oh I can, can I?” She asked as he kicked off his sneakers.

“Yes…” he nodded as he sat on the bed. “I’ll allow it.”

“You'll allow it?” Fliss deadpanned as he started to undo the buttons on his shirt. Eventually he gave up and reached back, grabbing it behind his neck and with a tug pulled it over his head, tossing it to the side. He reached out to Fliss, pulling her close to him, his arms wrapping around her back as he looked up at her.

“I will allow it, but only because I love you.”

“Ok so let me get this straight.” Fliss chuckled as she ran her hand through his hair. “You're gonna let me take your pants off because you love me?”

 “Yeah.” He nodded.

 “I'm so lucky…” She snorted

 “Hey, I’m a catch…” Frank let go of her and flopped back on the bed.

 “I never said otherwise.” she grinned, moving to take his belt off.

“Ah ha ha see, you do wanna get in my pants.” “I want to get you in bed, so help me out here hot-shot.” With a grin Frank raised his hips and she tugged down his jeans, dropping them by the side of the bed.

“Come on…” she patted the pillows and Frank shifted, moving the right way onto the bed and after a bit of a battle with the covers he’d settled himself down, one arm thrown over his head as he watched Fliss who gently turned off the lamp and settled down next to him. Shifting onto his side, his hand gently ran up her thigh, resting on her hip underneath his T-shirt.

 “I love you.” He said softly, and she smiled and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I love you too.” she smiled “Even when you’re being a drunken idiot.” “I’m not drunk.” “Course not.” “Okay, maybe just a little bit.” he conceded after a moment. “But I do love you.” “I believe you.”

“So much, you know what? One day, I’m gonna marry you.”

 “Oh, are you?” Fliss asked, running her hand through his hair.

 “Yup, and then we’re gonna make little Franks and Flisses and…” he stopped as Fliss’ laughter filled the room. “Why are you laughing?” he asked her, his tone indignant “You don’t wanna marry me and make babies?”

 “Not after us being together for like less than 6 months.” she laughed.

 “Well that’s just rude…” he mumbled, dropping his head forward so it fell to her chest.

He stayed still for a moment, mumbling something else as Fliss continued to run her hands through her hair, and it wasn’t long before his soft snores told her he was asleep. With a fond smile she dropped a kiss to his head and closed her eyes.

*****

Fliss took great delight the next morning in telling Frank exactly how much shit he’d been talking when he came home, including telling her that he wanted to marry her and make babies. He’d groaned and banged his head on the table as he sat nursing a coffee, instantly regretting that as his head was pounding as it was. Thankfully, Mary had gone with Fliss to the yard and spent most of the day there leaving him to suffer in peace, firing abuse to the Circle Of Trust What’s-app group, his only slight consolation being they all seemed to be suffering just as much as he was.

He collapsed into bed on the Saturday at just gone ten pm and slept straight through to eight the next morning when he was woken by Fliss softly kissing him awake. He knew what she wanted, and happily obliged and once they were both spent and slightly sweaty from a particularly energetic sex session, they both showered and after a breakfast of Waffles and fruit, spent the rest of the morning browsing the IKEA website for a bed for Mary. They then headed over to Bill and Verity’s for the usual dinner before they’d all collapsed in bed at Fliss’ after watching a film together.

 Monday morning brought the usual routine, shower, breakfast, kiss Fliss goodbye, drop Mary at school, head to work, check the list of active jobs for the week, start one of said active jobs, pause for a mid-morning snack from the coffee shop, resume work. All standard stuff, so it was a little surprising when the routine of the day was broken.

“Frank?”

Frank popped his head up from the deck of the boat where he’d been working on the steering column and looked at Fliss who was stood in the open entrance to the workshop.

“Hey…” he smiled, “What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you but…”

Because he was, he was always happy to see her, he was simply surprised as they hadn’t arranged to meet for lunch like they sometimes did if she was teaching over this way. He stood up and reached for a cloth to wipe his hands on before he climbed down from the boat and as he noticed the look on her face he frowned.

“Baby, what’s the matter?”

 “I err…I got a call and I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do and I just needed to see you and…”

 “Hey, hey.” he soothed, his hands on her arms “Calm down.”

She took a deep breath as Frank glanced over to Paul, his co-worker and nodded his head to signal he was heading outside. Paul waved him away and Frank dropped an arm round Fliss’ shoulder and steered her outside into the sun and out of the view of everyone.

 “What’s wrong?” he asked her and she nodded, taking a deep breath. He could see she’d been crying and he searched her eyes with his own as she looked at him.

 “I got a phone call…from the Victim Assistance Services.” Her eyes were wide “John’s been granted the right to a Parole hearing. They’ve set the date for 23rd May, six weeks.” Frank took a deep breath, concentrating on keeping calm despite the fact he could quite happily have kicked something there and then.

 “I don’t know why I’m so shocked.” Fliss continued “I mean I always knew this would happen, but hearing that he’s finally got a date...” she looked at Frank “If he’s successful, then he could be out by the end of June and…”

“Honey, just because he’s been given the right to a hearing, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to get out.” “The woman on the phone said that there’s a better chance that it will be refused if I appeal. But if I want to do that then I’ll have to either go in person or do a written or recorded statement and I don’t know if I can…” A tear fell from her eye and Frank gently wrapped her arms around her, pulling her to him. “I stood in a courtroom last time, telling them exactly what he did to me, about how he beat me and degraded me, only to be told I that I was a liar, and that I liked it rough, that I egged him on and… I can’t….I can’t do that again Frank…”

 She was rambling into his chest and he could do nothing but pull her close and drop a kiss to her head.

“No one’s gonna make you do anything you don’t wanna.” he pulled away slightly, cupping her face in her hands.

“They’re sending me a letter.” she said “Explaining my rights and stuff in more detail.” “Want me to call Greg?” He asked, a sudden inspiration coming to him. “I know he’s a Family lawyer now but he did do some time with this type of thing a while back, if you’re happy to speak to him I’m sure he’ll be more than willing to help…”

 “I don’t know if I can.” she sniffed. “I don’t know if want him knowing every detail, I mean even you don’t know it all…” “I know.” he agreed. “And you don’t have to tell him anything to start off with, just ask his advice.” 

She sniffed gently, and looked at him. “I have to tell you don’t I?” She said softly, “All of it?”

Frank hesitated. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but if this was going the way it looked like it was going to go, he would find out sooner or later, and, as he looked at Fliss, he knew that no matter how hard it was, how shitty it was going to be to open up fully, she would need to do that herself to keep some control over the situation.

“You don’t have to do anything. But if you decide you want to, then I’ll listen.” 

He dropped a kiss to her head and pulled her back to him, gently rocking her to-and-fro as he squinted out over the harbour. 

**** Chapter 15