#give it time to settle too
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ah, silt verses pulling the old snowpiercer classic, i see.
#MIXED FEELINGS#i'm not actually through the finale episodes yet so this isn't final thoughts#but given the way that the earlier silt verses emphasized the ease with which gods can be created even unintentionally---#the way that even a little bit of hunger; a little bit of want is a way in---#i find it fascinating but perhaps naively idealistic to believe that walking away from the world will be enough#the driving forces of these things don't come from gods; they aren't external#they're internal#you would need a different and better kind of people to make it stick#again these aren't final thoughts though; gotta stick this one out and see how it lands#give it time to settle too#more to follow maybe
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there is a very specific image in my head of early-mid 20’s iwaizumi hajime
#iwaizumi x reader#and he’s the guy taking on an internship in his senior year with minimum load for his classes#bc he’s planned it all out since starting college#you see him in parties because he has the time & he works so hard it’s only right he plays hard too#every time you lock eyes he gives you a small smile#there’s an air about him that isn’t cocky but isn’t too shy; a comfort that settles into his skin like he’s sure of who he is#—of what he wants & it definitely isn’t hauling up his drunk friends and a few acquaintances up his car#but some of them are your friends and you’re helping him so maybe it isn’t so bad#he drops you off with your roommate and you rarely see him after#until you spot him at some bar (again) and he’s wearing a tight fitting polo (it’s his uniform you later notice)#it’s a year or two after your graduation and when you lock eyes across the room there’s something so familiar yet wholly different#he’s confident now & maybe a little flirty too when he tells you he’s working as an assistant to shadow one of his mentors#you catch up for the rest of the night and your friends have long since gone ahead#he still knows what he wants and it’s to bring you home—not that way (not yet); you’re a little suspicious because#you know there’s /something/ but he drives you home like a gentleman. without really trying anything (and maybe part of you wishes he did)#it’s iwaizumi though and he knows what he wants—to ask you out properly (one he’s been thinking about since chance encounters in uni)#and he’s hoping that when he asks you can tell just how much he likes you#hajime#i want him so bad im crying#there is a whole workd of backstory to this but i got lazy typing it#shotorus.bubble
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Say 🧀
pose ref
#ffxiv#Ninira Nira#Estinien Varlineau#Wolstinien#estinien x wol#Bookshop AU#Nini feels wonky still... I tried to get her more her size but I had to settle for a middle ground#Estinien was gonna be way too big and not reach her head at all lmao#I saw a diff pose by this person going around and was gonna do it but saw the selfie one in their media tab#and was like ACTUALLY BETTER#Perfect Bookshop au pose#one day I'll design Estinien's tattoo properly I saw for the 1000th time#and give Nini a new outfit... but I like the cardigan shorts leggings... cute...#me making estinien punk and colouring all his black clothes like who decided this (me)#I'm lov them#art: mine
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Rivalries (at least ones that aren’t in the pre-existing lore, Ala Viggo and riders, Alpheus and Ant, so on and so forth…)
I genuinely don’t really see Snotlout and Alpheus getting along. Their personalities clash too much, and Snotlout just gets beef with anyone new in this story, due to trying to protect the other riders. Alpheus being a little pompous and cocky and ‘so this is the brainless muscle-head?’ Upon first meeting didn’t really help either. Lots of petty pranks and fights between these two, with poor Ant playing mediator, albeit reluctantly due to not knowing Alpheus too well himself, he just knows Snotlout. Honestly I’m not sure about Alpheus and Dagur either, i don’t know if Alpheus would play nice with someone named Deranged, though I do see Dagur enjoying messing with him, but that’s neither here nor there-
Kaiko and Viggo have had beef for longer than Fontaine has been alive, so Viggo starts sweating when he realizes that Ant is Kaikos kid. She also scares him a little bit…or a lot a bit. Assassination attempts have been had, on both sides. As well as petty smack downs with whatever they can get their hands on. Like the drawing above, where little-sibling-extraordinaire Viggo (not to be confused to these two being siblings, just that their fights can resemble sibling fights sometimes) is utterly losing.
Camicazi and Mad Madeline are a case of thief meets thief, but Madeline is better at it than Camicazi, with the additional bonus of being a sea-faring pirate, and also being nearly five to six years younger than Camicazi. And Camicazi HATES someone being better at something than she is, especially something she insists on being so good at. So naturally they clash. Maddie spends most of it just messing with Camicazi, much to the older girls infuriation.
I would like to clarify that Astrid and Fontaine’s rivalry has nothing to do with race, though Astrid has never really interacted with a person of color due to the overall whiteness of the Archipelago, Ant being the only person with darker skin she’s ever met till she leaves the Archipelago. No, it’s because they’re both stubborn, Astrid hates being called out on her not-so-great actions, and being held responsible for those actions, and Fontaine loves pointing this out and poking the metaphorical sleeping bear that is an easy-to-piss-off Astrid Hofferson. There may be a bit of petty grudge-holding due to what Fontaine has heard about stuff that happened between Astrid and Ant too, which also pisses Astrid off. Fontaine has the same flaw of being incapable of acknowledging her own mistakes though, so Astrid makes plenty of jabs in her direction too with the same effectiveness.
Heather is obsessed with Kari’s dragon Ardyn, and Kari is mad about the time she straight up tried to run off with Ardyn. This is probably the pettiest of rivalries here, next to Camicazi and Madeline anyways. Heather pretty much just pulled an Alpheus and started having beef with a thirteen year old for no real reason beyond spite and petty rage. Granted, little Kari is a menace who is not above biting, and has bitten Heather, so there’s some of a reasonable grudge there. (Especially not helped by Heathers older brother teaching the little brat how to shoot a crossbow-) It’s hard to feel justified venting to someone about it though when you’re reminded you’re getting into squabbles with a tweenager a head and a half shorter than you who hasn’t even started puberty yet. Heather’s younger than Alpheus is in the show, so it’s a little less embarrassing when she loses, especially when it’s over something wildly different
These are the ones I can think of, and I’ve got doodles i want to draw to further elaborate on these dynamics, that might not come to light in the actual story itself. I dunno yet, we’ll see. I’m juggling a couple of things irl at the moment, so new stuff might be a bit scarce, but i’m hoping to send chapter three to my beta in a few days! So hopefully chapter three comes out sometime in the next few weeks
#if it were a little hard to tell. alpheus is wearing that giant trench coat he has in his concept#and it’s upturned over his head#don’t ask where Kaiko got the flipper im too lazy to come up with an excuse#lets say spite#i got really lazy with the coloring#I’ve also finally finally FINALLY settled on something or another for the Nektons#especially Fontaine#in regards to design anyways im still working out backstory and lore and location#fontaine’s going to actually end up with two designs. as there’s a time skip down the line#im also playing around with buffstrid in this story#she’s a baby buffstrid in the beginning#but she gets a little more buff further down the line#not nearly as buff as I’ve drawn Scarl and Agatha#but she doesn’t have noodle arms either#she throws a giant ax around everywhere. give the girl some muscle!#the deep 2015#the deep cartoon#httyd#httyd/the deep crossover#alpheus benthos#snotlout jorgenson#httyd hookfang#kaiko nekton#httyd viggo#httyd oc#the deep oc#mad madeline#fontaine nekton#astrid hofferson#httyd heather
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We need a detective Conan case where Jodie is there just...carrying around Conan literally. Literally just carrying him around on her shoulders or hip cause he has tiny legs and reaching things for him cause he has tiny arms and she's just smirking and happy and he's so damn tired of this shit but puts up with it.
SO TRUE BESTIE. She would totally carry Conan around Heiji style if the opportunity presented itself. God bless. Akai is not allowed to because he's too tall and Conan can't reach shit from his shoulders and bumps his head on all the ceilings. Jodie makes fun of him for it. Anyway,
The pookiessssss <333333333333
#jodie starling#edogawa conan#*reads the ask and comes back a day later covered in sweat and shaking* THE BABIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS#this got out of hand folks. this was meant to be a doodle. I'm reblogging it to my art blog#I would've drawn more of the concept but I stopped myself. Perhaps some other time#dyed hair jodie agenda btw. that's what they get for giving us inconsistent hair colors for her#I feel like every time I draw her different. that's because all of her designs live in my brain rent free#some day... perhaps some day I may settle#anyway#anon#asks#new episode with Jodie and Heiji where they just keep passing Conan around like he's a purse.#“Jodie pick me up I want to see what's over that wall” “Heiji lift me I want to see the coroner's report too” and#at some point they're just like “ay I'm going to the bathroom can you take him”#3 apples tall guy and his minions <3
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The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄
#my art stuff#digital art#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#this is part of a series I like to call “I’m never settling on a singular detailed artstyle”#I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style#but I truly don’t get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!!#I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me it’s a futile attempt at still doing realism#cus I’m one of those “gifted” artists that grew up promising his parents he’ll end up among the big names or whatever#constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal#you know how it is 😔#I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff -#- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it#which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance#I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead#it’s so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it “wrong”#at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards#man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether#either way - this man is a flustered mess and he’s embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something#being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff#don’t ask why he’s shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes#tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me#i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure
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Y'all would not believe the situations I can put ocs in. Rotate them in my brain microwave.
#jasper rambles#the current sleeping fanfic is my witcher oc gwenna getting attacked by bandits and left for dead only to be rescued by her bestie eskel#and then upon the healer saving her life they realize they gotta head up to kaer morhen Now before the ppath gets too risky w the weather#and gwenna can't reasonably get up. luckily guess who just arrived on their way to kaer morhen? lambert and aiden. eskel is distrustful but#gwenna is like “so THIS is Lambert's cat” and lambert is fake grumpy abt it and then they all bond getting up the mountain and despite lambe#rts grumbling hes prolly abt as worried as eskel abt gwennas wellbeing bc unfortunately hes grown to see this woman as family over the last#decade plus of her wintering with them. aiden and gwenna bond so easily and trade stories and such. they get up the mountain and lambert and#aiden get a moment to breathe before vesemirs intereogation bc he can tell gwenna is injured. she brushes it off by telling him he can give#her a full check up AFTER theyre all settled in. by this point vesemir keeps supplies that are more specifically for helping humans on hand#thanks to her first ever winter w them in which she broke her leg. i just. love them so much <3#no clue where it falls on any sort of canon timeline. books or show. but 🤷#i think itd be cute if gwenna is there the winter geralt brings ciri up for the first time
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Hear me out (or don't... it's fine I'm just venting and mean) yeah um I don't believe Chakotay was saved in Prod*gy s2.
#the 'time travel' makes no sense when you think on it. What happened to Prime Chakotay? He got killed they showed that.#At the end s1 Janeway finds an 'alternate chakotay in an alternate timeline' and that's the one they go and get#we saw the original get merc'd in the message. That ACTUALLY happened. Lmao.....#They didn't prevent THAT death because they didn't go to THAT Solum with the Infinity and stop it from happening#instead it was 'ALTERNATE#' implying other.#OG Chakotay wasn't taken over by the alternative one either nothing suggests that was the direction for him in s2#they didn't do anything like 'well you see chakotay because at the end of s2 when we converged timestreams you have merged with your other'#if they did want to recover the original from s1 then keep that clear instead of being convoluted dont use an alternate timeline wtf#instead the plot was focused on gywns stupid fucking paradox plot and her being fixed#chakotay was the one in a paradox too did that not matter nah dw about it he had to die for this outcome or someshit lmao why#In the extended message given to admiral janeway it shows him clearly getting left behind and surrounded. Sadly no one intervened.#I dont understand why they couldnt have just made s2 about his rescue alone IF they took their time it wouldnt be so difficult#to follow#above that the one they rescued was ruined by the 10 year gap so he wasn't 'saved' at all. God i hate s2 when you break it apart#I dunno the more i look at s2 Janeway and Chakotay the more upsetting it is. Janeway would NOT have settled for an imposter.#everyone going goo-goo gaa gaa over s2 but it's sloppy af imo and undermines a huge portion voyagers struggles#id really like them to flatly lay out their ideas because literally nothing ive heard explains the story or choices of s2 with conviction#instead it's oh clap for wesley or the new vulcan and other references yay#describe to me your timetravel clearly and i'll happily take a seat on it (there is still other crap stuff mind you)#this is the most repressed shit i my head i swear#im angry because s1 is so clearly mapped out to a brilliant degree and for whatever reason it's not in s2#i can see through it#insultingly people are eating it up and claiming it's better than ever nah dawg embarrassing#there are nice ideas inside s2 but they arent adequately rewarded#it doesnt compare to the timetravel in other trek because they kept it clear#i mean it could have been an interesting parallel to endgame but in the end janeway didnt even rescue him lmao they dropped her#why bother building up this mission only for her to give up and go 'i'll hand it over because im told to'. Janeway had fuck all this season#let alone settle for not fixing her own timeline and her own friends deadly circumstance dw just grab another one from the shelf i guess#the emotional fallout was absolutely missed because they didnt elaborate on anything. Plenty of show but no substance from the characters
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#elvis presley#baby elvis#daydreaming that he gets his ticket#and he rants all the way home to audubon about how he can't do nothing#not even get his haircut#without someone giving him grief for it#he warns me not to tell his mother that he's got yet another ticket#back home he paces around#can't settle#then he grabs my hand and announces we're going out#he's in a real mood and snaps: “I'll be back when I'm back!” when Gladys asks how long he'll be#he'll regret that later when he's calmed down and knows he'll have to face her wrath#he pulls on his motorcycle cap and yanks me onto his harley behind him#he'll also regret that later when I know he's calmed down enough to show my wrath#we don't even stop at the bottom of the drive to give any of the kids an autograph#they scatter as he screeches off down the residential road#he's going too fast and weaving around staid fords and chevys#but i trust him#i don't know why#by the time we hit the highway my hair is a wreck- a lion's mane across my face#i press my cheek against the warmth of his back and feel the tension easing#he whoops out a war cry#or maybe a howl of freedom and tugs my arm tighter around his waist#as we accelerate towards nowhere
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#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child#when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me#for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites#while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs#at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books#which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa#anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop#one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me#in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card#tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition#later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned#i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds#but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me#they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes#and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories#which i was always sentimental about as child#from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides#and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns#to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth#parents passed when i was a child#never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness#and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions#and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally#and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost#even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions#but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth#thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood
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Im so mentally ill right now pls hand me my vitamin d pills i need to be fixed, i haven't felt sunlight upon my skin for a week and it's raining over the snow so it's all sloppy and slippery and dark out so i can't go anywhere without getting my feet soaked and my inlaws are asking me what i want for christmas like specifically which means i have to share my interests but i don't want to be perceived right now because I'm feeling the winter paranoia/madness and also i had to take the trashcan out yesterday and faceplanted in the snow and my glasses are all scratched up so i think im going to need new ones and if i want to go ANYWHERE i need to defrost my fucking car on the daily and i hate it. I hate winter i HATE IT. And i have an exam on friday as well as work and a christmas party to attend. I need to move to the forest and become one with nature, just leave society behind and live like Isak in Growth of the soil even though i fucking hate Knut Hansun, that nazi bitch.
#the only thing i have the energy for is apparently scouring ao3 for fics to read through my very specific search methods#and im reading stuff im NOT proud of at all (very cringe) so no im not giving any fic recs#i need the sun please god i miss the sun sooo much give it back aaaaaa#me in the summer: i miss it being dark at night i miss sleeping#me in the winter: i have deficiencies summer me could never understand#why did my ancestors (my danish grandmother and grandfather from bergen) decide to settle in the mental torture part of norway#i need to LEAVE im going INSANE i don't want to live like this#every season is its own kind of hell‚ the only semi good one is autumn and it's usually too short anyway‚ but if it's too long#it's as bad as winter because it gets dark without the snow to bring some kind of light to the day so you're just depressed#and then it gets icy but there's no snow so your car gets zero (NIL) grip on the road and then ur life flashes before ur eyes#abd spring gives you allergies and a low sun so you can't wven drive comfortably#and summer is too hot and it's bright all the time and like. it's FINE. im used to it. i just put up some decent curtains.#but it's disorienting and my internal clock is always completely and utterly fucked.#and i know im raving like a madman right now but i slept for like 13 hours and i have the mental clarity to know im going a little crazy#and i just need to get it out of my system
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Okay but the life of the legendary Shovana Narayan altered my brain chemistry, a superb academic record hold, a maestro in kathak and then also a civil services officer with a long distance marriage and motherhood
If she could do this in the 50s and 60s, wtf is stopping me from doing so, when I have never wanted just one thing to define me
#samridhi speaks#also to my ex who told me things likw your relationship will never work out with him because of different life goals#lol this woman married a diplomat and they managed a long distance marriage too#her husband paved doors foe collabs with the West with Indian dance back then#this is the kind of love I want sure physical intimacy is needed and what not but God I am never giving up all of this to marry#and I still remember him saying you give those soft mothet vibes who is a part time mother and dancer#bye I will girlboss all my life and be all right in front of guys like some of my cousins who think we girls his sisters will just marry#and settle down amd to my ex too for thinking I will be easy and live out a simplw life#fuck everything the only understanding men in my life have been my father brother and my boyfriend at this point#weird that he never grew up around sisters but still is so aware and understanding of women and our desire for dreams#lol I am ranting but yes I have an exam in 6 hours my sleep got over by 2.30#and then I was googling gpat niper prep#yeah it's first sem but I keep wanting to updatw on the info#and God knows what struck me to google dancers randomly who were into civil service academia and still being legends in the arts#then shovana narayan came up
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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Your feelings have been living for a millennium.
BONUS !!! he eated the buttered fly.
#i got lazy and used the built in csp rose brush#i am not drawing roses#fuck you#anyways#frances moves their wrist what will they do#wilson percival higgsbury#wilson p higgsbury#wilson dst#how many times do we gotta tag your name old man#dont starve#dont starve together#fuckig#dstblr we have got to settle on one tag we cant keep living like this#living millenium#iyowa my beloved#my interests have met like the titanic to the iceberg#but instead of the titanic its a weird indie game from over a decade ago#and instead of a iceberg its vocaloid#fuck what iwas i doing#right yeah tagging this shit#did u know i spent like 3 days on this on and off#its giving (sparkles emoji) untreated adhd#sorry if i drew wilson too twinkish i dont do it on purpose#fucki just remembered i work tomorrow#FUCK i shouldve added the eye like the florid postern has#whatever im not gonna stare at this any longer#i already dont like it anymore#guards remove it from my line of Sight
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decided to play around more with byan's hand tattoos bc i wasn't happy with a couple of them last time
like last time, cropped from this scar map bc i can barely draw these simple tattoos with the tools i have atm, let alone draw hands
#yes I painted their nails this time. that was just for fun.#and no I didn't draw the kuromi I used official art I'm sorryyyy I don't have the tools rn#if I ever get even just a better stylus I will do it myself but for now this has to do#anyway. there are still more I think buuuut I haven't settled on them OR they're too hard for me to draw rn so :/#I'm giving u what I'm capable of#much happier with it all this time tbh#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ headcanon ⋮ danger in the fabric of this thing i made.
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hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™
but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.
#if u want the tea my imagination at the time was like i could space out and straight up just be another person POV doing every little#thing as if i were them for hours and the experience would come together without having to even think about it.#different times/places/contexts/conversations etc. forced 2 to to my mom's lil cult meetings for 2 hours twice a week#i would opt to do these imagination exercises instead to rly put myself in a character's perspective. every step‚ stumble‚#riding in a carriage together for the entirety from point A to B etc. WELL i was working on a horror anthology somewhere 18/19#(that had a small local following 🫶🏾) and it its concept was like the Twilight zone but a lot darker. it was called interdimensional#and the main recurring character never actually shows up in the story. they r an omnipresent god of death who exists everywhere but#exists outside of our realm‚ and it picks random people to reveal itself to as a symbol. it can be apparent or just in passing that#the entry's MC sees it in‚ it will appear on something somewhere and once it's brought up it's a cue to the reader that this person#has just been sent to an alternate reality that leads towards their inevitable death. for the character nothing ever changes immediately#but the different starts to creep its way in‚ as does death's approach at its crescendo but the path's i took to get there were 😨#and after enough entries i started to see the symbol irl and hallucinate some other stuff from my stories and it really scared me#and made me stop 🫡 but i think in retrospect i just went too hard on the imagination exercises and wished i tried cultivating it instead#give myself time to settle and get in control.. but alas‚ she has not written seriously since. to this day it still flows out of me if#i just sit down to do it‚ but i don't think I'm at risk of something like that happening again anymore :3 so yeah ♡ i am learning how to#draw and trying not 2 force it bc i want it to b fun as a little journey for me and i look forward to the day i can come back to actively#writing again too 🫶🏾 i miss it but i also want to b able to draw ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა#learn the hard thing first then do the stuff that comes naturally.... i also want to get back into music sometime but clearly i got a lot of#other stuff to work on 💀 i burnt myself out on it learning too many things and not having enough fun with it anymore‚#but i have a better healthier with art these days and i know it'll be great to come back to when I'm ready 😌💕#i have been considering getting an acoustic or bass guitar tho 🧐 the beauty of physical instruments.. they're just there ready 2 go..#I've been doing mostly digital the past few years‚ when i was making music. it was also rly hard to when i was w my ex ૮ – ﻌ–ა#that's a whole other rant lol. but ugh digital is like u gotta set it up u gotta make space and then u gotta be in one spot the whole time#i just wanna lay in bed and vibe or something yfm.. walk around maybe idk. do something less structured.#maybe.. hm. hmmm 🧐#I'm going to guitar center lol c ya ✌🏾 getting a bass and amp and maybe a guitar too depending on the price
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