#give her a day and she successfully redeemed everyone inside

[radioactive-lil-cloud]

Me? Posting fanart?

Must’ve been only…7 years?:)

Anyway i love the idea of Mabel and Bill as a combination and with the information of the book of bill and thisisnotawebsite.com i couldnt resist

Dont mind the grammar or typos lol

Or my handwriting

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

CH-21 : Reactions to episode 3 and 4

Summary: Just as the title says.

Masterlist

A.N :T.W : Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse (All the stuff Angel went through. Remember to take a breather while reading the chapter if you need it.)

You were able to convince your co-worker to work your shift quickly. It took some persuasion but you won in the end. Now you had at least a couple of days to yourself to relax and let go. Soon enough, Niffty came back with three plates of food and Cherri helped her carry them.

"I cooked spicy chicken yesterday. Tell me if it gets too for you to handle." Cherri said laughing as you were handed a plate each and a glass of water. The dish looked delectable. As soon as you were handed the plate, you began to wolf it down from hunger.

It was indeed quite spicy. It burnt on your tongue. Yet you couldn't stop eating. The flavours were literally bursting in your mouth like a bomb. You finished the plate in light speed and held out the empty plate towards Cherri.

"Seconds please!"

After the three of you were done eating, all of you again sat back in the same position as before. This time you leaned back on Angel a bit from how full you felt. As soon as everyone was in place again, you started episode 3.

.

.

.

.

' That looks perfect! ' Charlie exclaimed with happiness.

It looked like Pentious had successfully stayed a whole week with them already. Pentious soon came inside the hotel with a large cannon.

' I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents. '

' What? Why? '

' Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense they are planning to kill me. But when? How? I must be.. prepared! '

Oh Pentious, sweetie, you can relate to not being used to kindness too. It almost always makes you second guess thinking they are just faking things for you or you don't deserve it. Or they have some ulterior motive.

' People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome '

As soon as Vaggie said that, it cut off to Husk and Angel giving Pentious the middle finger and Niffty smiling creepily at him. "You really want me to believe your words when they're like that?" Pentious commented pointing at the screen and looking at Charlie. "I'm sure they mean no harm...just watch." She said looking at the screen again.

' And you need to get rid of these...things. Oh, what did I just say? What did I just say? '

' What not my little egg Bois. They do my evil bidding for me. '

"Nooo, Vaggie let them stay. They're adorable!" You pleaded giving the human Vaggie puppy eyes and Pentious joined you. Vaggie rubbed between her eyes in frustration. "Fine...I would but you know I can't control what happens there."

"Oh...right..."

' Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself? '

' Yesss...? '

' Then no more eggs '

"Vaggie that's cruel. How could you." You dramatically sayed as she rolled her eyes. You leaned over and patted Pentious on his shoulder. " Don't worry, I'm on your side okay?" Pentious nodded with a sad smile.

Pentious in the show acted like the eggs couldn't bear to leave him as the eggs just followed Vaggie without a question. Then it cut off to a .... rotting deer? And Alastor eating the said rotten deer with a fork and a knife?

"Alastor Ew, what the fuck?" You looked over at Alastor. Charlie, Angel, Pentious and Cherri had the same reaction as you. Vaggie looked like it was nothing new and Niffty and Husk were already used to this. "Alastor if you wanted we could get you some fresh meat you know!" Charlie exclaimed. "You just had to ask!"

"Mmm, no. I prefer hunting my own meals myself." Alastor said with a grin. "It's far more entertaining ~"

" Why am I even surprised..." Angel facepalmmed. "Whatevah, continue the episode (Y/n). " And you did. Alastor's room was pretty interesting, with half of the room being a forest and other half normal. And apparently that dead rotten deer was his breakfast. How he could eat that disgusting smelly corpse was beyond you.

" Alastor....is this why your teeth are yellow? Cause you don't brush your teeth..? "

" Oh heavens no darling. I am quite hygienic, I assure you. They were like this since I fell in hell. "

" .....It better be or else I don't want your nasty ass breath near me."

That ticked off Alastor a little as his left eye twitched. "Nasty you say... I'll get as close to you as I want, wether you like it or not. I'm afraid you don't have a choice in that matter."

Why did your stomach did a flip at that? Control yourself (Y/n)!

Alastor agreed to Vaggie to take care of the egg Bois humanely after she told him to. Charlie was trying to ease the tension in the hotel as Pentious squeezed Niffty with his tail to kill her. Though Niffty seemed to be enjoying it. Charlie decided they would do trust exercises to build bond between the hotel members.

' Oh I will. But it's cash up front. And I know that one, can't afford me. '

' Gross. I'd never think of it spider. '

" That's right baby. It takes money to get this body movin! " Angel pointed at himself. " Though I might do it for free for you (Y/n)~ think of it as paying back for all you've done for me." Angel whispered in your ear seductively making shiver run through you. Vaggie pushed Angel's face away. "No, you are not doing those. (Y/n) are you okay? I can move this freak if you want to." She asked tenderly while putting a hand on your shoulder.

God why were they all so beautiful and so keen on making you blush. You felt like your face was red as a tomato now as you moved your head sheepishly. "N-no, you don't have to move him, ahaha..." You thought he was just messing with you. Since Angel is supposed to be gay after all so you wouldn't get your hopes up. Angel on the other hand smirked seeing the effect he had on you.

Charlie entrusted Vaggie to lead the trust exercise. They had to share something vulnerable about themselves with the group. She went full military mode with the explanation. Charlie went first with the exercise as she expressed how much she loved the members and fell on Vaggie's arm. You gave the Charlie beside you a headpat.

Angel went on the stage next.

' I love to suck - '

' I swear to fuck if you say dicks! '

' Popsicles you sicko. Getcho mind outta gutter. '

Husk grumbled beside you in frustration as Angel laughed at him. Cherri joined in too. The Angel in the show and then fell down on Husk's arms. Despite Vaggie saying everyone had to catch him, none but Husk did.

' But you know, dicks too. '

And Husk let him fall. Pentious was next. He expressed dramatically how he didn't want to live without his minions and he didn't want anyone to catch him.

' Damn it. '

But he got caught by everyone. Next was Niffty's turn as she quickly ran to the stage, scurrying with her little legs.

' Sometimes, I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others. '

Everyone, minus Alastor and Niffty was horrified. Suddenly, you didn't feel so safe anymore with her in front of you. When Niffty turned around to give you a smile it only made you gulp in fear as you gave a nervous smile back. You made a mental note to yourself to never mess with Niffty.

No one caught her after she jumped. It was understandable why.

' Yay! Pain! '

However it looked like she didn't mind it one bit. She kept going up the stage and jumping down from it. "...Heeeey Angel? Wanna switch places with me?" You whispered. However Angel turned your head straight around with his hands. "No thanks, I don't wanna go anywhere near her. You're all on your own toots, sorry. " ' Traitor....' you thought bitterly in your mind.

' I like your suit. '

' What are the antlers for? '

' Can I touch your staff thing? '

' Are those your ears or is it your hair? '

Alastor eyes twitched with annoyance as they kept questioning him. Finally, they were asking the real questions. "Alastor, mind answering those questions for us? I'm curious too. " You looked at him only to see his smile seemed strained and his eye brows furrowed. "I believe it is none of your business. Now use your hands to start the video again before I rip it off. " You've never started a video again so fast before.

A new Character showed up. It seemed like Alastor and this Zestial knew each other. And from how people scattered from him you guessed it he has to be one of the powerful demons. He talked like an ancient being too. He was an overlord apparently. As they both went up a lift, a little eggboi named Frank got stuck with them.

' Oh look, Frank is up there. '

' We have names? '

Hehe, you can already see that egg being a fun little addition to the meeting. There were other overlords too. It was some kind of overlord meeting. And there was Rosie! You couldn't wait to hear how she sounded like. Fandom has been going nuts over her since the trailer dropped.

' Alastor? '

' Yes I know. I've been absent sometime. I'm sure you've all been wondering. '

' Not really. But welcome back in any case. '

The way his face srunched up at surprise at her not caring made you want to laugh your heart out. He got mad because someone didn't care enough about him? Aww. Adorable.

' No, they have better shit to do then to listen to an old windbag who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent. '

Velvette entered the meeting. Vox and Valentino apparently would stay absent. Then before they could resume, she threw an angel's head on the table. A collective gasp came from everyone in the room.

' Ohh, tasty '

Alastor why are you like this..

As Velevette was trying to tell them about their plan to fight back, Zestial interrupted her to know how foolish it was. To which Velevette responded with teasing and calling him old man. As Zestial was talking with her you noticed Alastor having a test of the head. Gross.

' Oh what's the matter fossil? Too senile to make a real power grab ? '

' You better show some respect!

Check your behaviour '

That song came outta nowhere. Sick guitar sounds too.

' Haha. You've got it twisted.

I'm not the one who needs a new attitude.

Maybe you missed it,

But I'm that #Bitch '

Okay, this was nice. You were jamming to the song. Her singing voice was nice.

' I'm the backbone of the V's '

You paused to check what was written. Damn, vox sent her a 'behave' text. Also the little ice cream of them seemed tasty.

' Oops, did I strike a nerve?

' Cause when I brought out the Angel's

head

Couldn't help but observe

That your wrinkled face was turning

red '

Hm, maybe Carmila does have something to do with the head? And velvette was trying to coax it out of her.

' That was a productive meeting '

Shut it Alastor. Well, it was indeed interesting to say the least. Carmila ended the meeting abruptly. Alastor noticed Carmila and Zestial going into a room together so he sent Frank after them.

"Alastor, nothing better happen to my egg Boi." Pentious whispered. To which he rolled his eyes. "Come on, it's just an egg. You can make more surely. "

Angel brought the gang to to bondage club later. You had to laugh at the absurdity.

' What makes you think anyone would be into this? '

' Y'know, I, I don't hate this. '

Old man Husk to go. That purring was also adorable.

' I'm ready to punish some bad boys. '

Niffty? Damn that girl was packing inside that dress. Good for her. Vaggie then took them to a freaking battle ground to build trust.

' Buckle up buttercups. Because today you boys become men. '

Intense. It was the only word you could use to describe her training. Vaggie chucked both Pentious and Angel out from the roof. Husk quickly dipped while Vaggie wasn't looking. Niffty was excited to be thrown but got stopped by Charlie.

' I'm supposed to never fail you..'

' You didn't fail me. Vaggie you're not..'

' If I can't help you what's the point of me? '

Poor Vaggie. She was looking down, avoiding both your and Charlie's gaze. They both took some time off to themselves. You slid both of your hands behind Charlie and Vaggie back and squished them together, making them smile a bit.

Zestial was trying to convince Carmila to share her secrets with him. So it was pretty much confirmed it was her.

' But if anyone knew

Then all of hell would rise to war. '

So that was her reason for hiding the news. She didn't want to risk her daughter's life. It's understandable.

' When I saw your face

You made me feel like stranger in a

brand new place '

Vaggie's singing too? That's cool. And her voice was really soothing as well.

' I'll spend my life being your partner. '

Charlie didn't know when she started crying. " Vaggie.." she sniffed. " I love youuuu" she pulled her in a hug again. " I love you too Hun. " She mumbled and kissed Charlie's forehead. Your heart, it felt like it was going to melt. You wanted a relationship like them, badly.

' What was the last thing? '

' She killed the angel ? '

' Interesting.. '

Alastor chuckled darkly beside you. He was definitely cooking something evil with that knowledge.

' At least you can take beating like a champ. You did okay new kid. '

All of the residents were getting a bit better with eachother. Laughing and joking. This episode ended nicely with Pentious going to sleep with his egg Bois all cozy and nicely. As soon as the episode was over, people started to talk with each other. However you didn't realise how little this happy time would last with the next episode..

After a few minutes of talking, you started episode four. Everyone was excited to watch the next episode. And it started with Angel tied up? You and the others were concerned for a moment before it turned out to be a....porn that Angel was showing to the hotel residents. Alastor and Pentious's face scrunched up at the noise of Angel's moans. And you...you didn't know how to feel to be honest.

' Fuck you, this is classy art. '

And it showed a wolf slapping Angel's ass and biting so big that you were sure he took a chunk out of his ass. And god the moaning. You were a blushing mess already.

' That's bullshit. You get drunk and bitch and moan all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfucker's at this point. '

Yeah, Husk gets to listen to a lot of tales doesn't he? No wonder he's one of the most knowledgeable and the most tired one of the group.

' That one, that one is an insecure buffon who's lonely ass watches you idiots

sleep. '

"Pentious does what?" Charlie asked looking at him shocked as Pentious looked terrified at the glare he was getting. He quickly waved his hands in front of him. "W-wait, this is just in the show. I haven't done anything like that yet! Please spare me miss Vaggie.."

' Princess is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problem except her own. '

' What? No. I. What. Ohh. No. '

Yep she definitely does.

' This one judges everyone and everything because she hates herself. '

Aww, Vaggie...poor girl.

' And Niffty? Argh,you don't even wanna know what her deal is. '

If Husk says so, you'll believe him. Though you didn't need Husk to spell out how dangerous Niffty was.

' Kittens got claws,meoow~ '

' And you, don't get me started. I see right through you and all these bullshit and how fake you are. '

Somehow, that got him agitated. While talking with Husk suddenly a call came in Angel's phone. And from the looks of it, it must have been Valentino. God damn that guy.

' Okay, I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss that I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel. '

Ah, fuck, fuck, FUCK. This was going to go horribly wrong. You could feel that in every inch of your body. Valentino and Charlie meeting is never going to go well.

"Oh nonono.. please. Please don't go there. " Angel mumbled above you while inching close to the Laptop. It almost looked like he wanted to go inside and stop Charlie if he could. On one hand, you wanted Charlie to find out about the shit Angel goes through so she could help him out. But in the other hand, you didn't want that thinking about in how many ways that could go wrong.

Angel facepalmmed. Almost looking defeated and tensed beside you as the show went on. The show cut off to Angel in middle of the shooting. Between that, Angel caught the sight of Charlie coming inside the studio. "Fuck!" Angel cursed above you. Charlie blushed as a female sinner took off their bra and flashed Charlie right in her face. Vaggie grumbled beside you in jealousy.

' What in the ever loving fuck are you doing here? '

' I am the princess of hell Angel and I go where I please. I'm here to get you some time off for the hotel. '

Charlie's intention was nice. But, god, you still had a bad feeling.

' I'm...coming! '

' Not off camera you're not. '

Fucking Val... Before Angel could get Charlie out Valentino took notice. Both real life Angel and cartoon Angel cursed.

' What can I do for such a... '

' Ahh, no thank you..'

Did...Did that motherfucker just lick Charlie's arm??? Oh hell fucking no! Vaggie screamed beside you. "That's fucking it! It was a fucking mistake to let you go alone! I swear to fucking god when I see that moth I'm going to rip him to pieces!" You felt the same. " I want to fucking rip his tongue out for doing that to Charlie.

Alastor clicked his tongue. "Such disgusting behaviour. I wouldn't have expected any better from those lot."

' Make us both richer then well, your papito- '

' Fuck, nooo. I.. I'm sorry..'

That fucking prick. How dare he suggest something like that to her.

' Not at all, princess... '

He was mad, he was really really mad. And the way he looked at Angel, he was probably going to take it out on him. You didn't know if your heart was prepared for it. "Charlie, you're fucking things up..a lot.." Husk commented, he already had an idea on what was going to happen having a shitty boss himself.

And then Charlie tripped and disconnected a wire making everything go on fire. Valentino glared at Angel and stood up. He put off all of the fire with a swish of his wings that you didn't know he had beforehand.

' Angel, can I see you in your dressing room for a moment? '

Suddenly Angel's hand came and paused it the video. His hand was shaky. He could already anticipate what was going to come. And he didn't know if he would be able to face others after that. After they see him like that.

"Angel, I'm really really sorry. I really just wanted to do something good for you and I -" Angel cut Charlie off with a finger as he turned to you. His face was darkened. "(Y/n), is there any way I can see this? Alone? Please?" You completely understood why he would want that as you nodded and brought out your phone and unlocked it.

" Y-you can watch it on my phone in the other room if you want. Is that okay? " You whispered, feeling scared for him. He grabbed your phone, refusing to look at you or anyone else in the room as he stood up and went to the other room. You called out to Cherri immediately. "Please go to him. I don't want him to stay alone...he might allow you to stay." Cherri nodded at you as she went to the other room.

You looked back at the others who looked anxious. You took a deep breath. "Whatever happens.... let's make sure to give Angel some time after this.." with that, you paused the episode, preparing yourself for the worst.

Angel hurriedly searched up the episode in the other room as he noticed Cherri come in. "Cherri! Go...watch with the others.." he said looking down. "No way bitch, I ain't letting my best friend be alone in a time like this." She said popping down beside him. "We're going to watch this shit together. "

.

.

.

.

' Val, I didn't know that- '

Before Angel could say anything Valentino slapped him across the face with the back of his hand making his eye swollen. You hissed at the impact.

' You really think you can have Lucifer's little bitch fight back for you? '

' Val please I'm sorry she- '

' You'd bring her here to protect you? To fuck with me? '

' Argh, fuck..! '

This whole thing was really really painful to watch. You could feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you watched Angel being thrown around like a rag doll by that motherfucking no good son of a bitch. With every slap and hiss of Valentino, Charlie was whimpering beside you. Tears already falling from her eyes as she held your arm. Vaggie and Pentious was looking away from time to time, not being able to stomach it. This scene was much more brutal and disturbing then the music video.

Alastor also had a disturbed look on his face, his smile cracking slightly from the distasteful sight in front of him. Husk closed his eyes but the sound of Angel's whimpers still rang in his ears. How he wanted to drown himself in booze right now. Even Niffty wasn't enjoying this.

Everytime Val hit Angel in the show, it felt like he was getting hurt in real life. He whimpered and hugged himself close to him. Cherri could feel his pain. She patted his back slowly as to not set him off. She knew too much touch will only set him off more.

' You think she can get you out of work? '

' No, no, t-that's not what I'm trying to do...no..argh- '

Valentino had a firm grip on Angel's neck as he looked down at him menacingly and threw him to the floor. Angel was coughing and breathing heavily, trying to get air back in his lungs.

' You know she can't do anything. I own you. Or have you forgotten that ? '

" No "

Valentino made a smoke collar and dragged Angel up by it. He summoned the contract paper Angel had signed. It was signed in his real name, Anthony.

It wasn't a surprise to you. Angel's real name was revealed in a hunicast livestream before. So was Vaggie's. But to the other sinners sitting beside you, it was a big deal. Charlie was slamming on the floor, feeling helpless for not being able to do anything. Vaggie went to her side, trying to comfort her. Pentious was full on crying as well while hugging his knees to his chest. You squeezed Niffty close to you as waterworks were coming from your eyes.

Angel's situation was worser as he almost began to have trouble breathing. This..this was shown to everyone in the other room. What would they think of him now. He felt so open, so exposed. Even more then when he filmed porn. This was a side he kept to himself. He was an actor. He acted wherever he went. He acted that he was fine and everything was fine. He's got it under control. But now, that won't work anymore. They knew how things truly were. And it scared him. It scared him to know that they could use this information to hurt him even more then he already is.

He doesn't know if he's prepared for that.

' When I say come, you say.. '

' Yes Valentino '

' When I say you're fucking twenty guys before lunch you say.. '

' Yes Valentino '

' When I say you better get that fucking cunt out of my studio, you say.. '

' I-i '

' You. Say. '

' Look Val. She just gets involved in everything. I'll.. I'll tell her to leave. Just don't hurt her '

Charlie let out a chocked sob at that. "It's... it's all my fault....Vaggie.. Angel..he got hurt because of...me.. I'm a monster.." She looked at her hands. Vaggie shooked her before she went too far in her head and cupped her cheeks to make Charlie look at her.

" Honey listen, none of this is your fault okay. You tried to help him. You really did. Things just didn't go as planned okay?" Vaggie embraced and held her close. "But it is her fault in a sense." Husk commented sounding cold and distant. "She wandered into a territory she didn't know about. She lived in hell all her fucking life. She should know how fucked up things can get here. " Charlie let out a another sob. You could feel the tension between the crew rising. Now, you began to wonder if it was a good idea to let them react in the first place...

"Husk if you don't shut the fuck-" " Vaggie please stop." Charlie held out a hand in front of Vaggie's face to stop her from talking. " Husk is right....I didn't understand. I was ...I was fool! " She clenched her fists and shut her eyes. "Charlie -" before Vaggie could say anything you put your hand above hers, moving your head.

You know Vaggie wanted to comfort Charlie badly. You did too. But she shouldn't baby her. Charlie had to learn from her mistakes. Her intention might have been good but she should have learnt when to stay away and when to give someone privacy. There are no excuses for that pain Angel went through for that.

After everyone was a bit settled down, you paused the episode in complete silence. You guys did have a rule, you couldn't go away until the episode was finished. You prayed things will change a bit for the better by then.

' What makes you think you can treat him like that? '

Seeing Angel get thrown onto bed harshly, it was enough to make Charlie go mad. She went into her demon mode. You were excited thinking finally she was about to kick Val's ass but..

' Charlie! Just stop. '

Oh no...angel... please no... please let her get angry.

' You actually wanna help me? Get the fuck outta here. Right now. And let me finish my work. '

That voice crack in Angel's voice there. It was certain that he was trying really hard to not break down in front of her. How long was this supposed to hurt you.

' And action. '

There was a song right after this happened ? Really?

' I'm not above love to cash in

Another lover underneath those flashing lights

Another one of those ruthless nights

Yeah yeah yeah '

Angel wiped his tears as he focused on the song. Listening to the lyrics with his heart.

' What's the worst part of this hell?

I can only blame myself '

That line, it was brutal. It shook you to the very core.

' 'Cause I know you're poison

You're feeding me poison

Addicted to this feelin'

I can't help swallow

Up your poison

I made my choice and

Every night I'm living like there's no

tomorrow. '

These lyrics actually said a lot about him. About his situation. How he knows what he does is destroying him from the inside yet he can't stop it, he's addicted to it. It hurt to look how happy he acted during the song, knowing how fake those were.

' My stories gonna end with me dead

from your poison '

Oh god no. You prayed this wasn't a prediction of what will happen in the future.

' I got so good at being untrue

I got so good at telling you

What you wanna hear

I disassociate, disappear '

Every bit of these lyrics felt like belts hitting you over and over again. You wanted to run to that room and check over Angel, right fucking now. But you knew if you did that, others will come following behind as well and it will only make things hard for Angel. Last thing you wanted to do right now was to make a mistake like Charlie and make things worse.

' Poison, I'm drownin' in poison

I'm fillin up my glass

But it's always hollow

Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison

Wish I had something to live for 

tomorrow '

Charlie hugged you as soon as the last line was over. Both Husk and Alastor had their ears pulled down. Husk felt a strange attachment to him. No matter how much he tried he couldn't shake it off. It's not like he was thinking Angels situation was any better than what he saw.  He knew more them well how bad being under a overlord can be. He was under one after all. He wanted to make him a drink and let him vent to him. It was a weird new feeling.

He never actually wanted that for anyone before. It always annoyed him how people would go on and on after being drunk. He didn't ask to be trauma dumped always . He had his own shit to handle. But right now, he wanted to be there for Angel, show him he wasn't alone. It was stupid. But, it wasn't so bad...He decided, after this was over. He'll go have a talk with him .

' Fukin' Christ. You can drop the act already. It's never gonna work on me. So all your doin' is makin' an ass outta yourself with this fake bullshit. '

' Call me fake one more time motherfucker. I dare you. '

' Fake. '

' Fucking asshole - '

So those little pink dots of his were actually eyes. You never knew that. You were started to sniff a bit quietly now.

' You know how much I'm worth? Haha..you know how many people would kill to have Angel dust come onto them? '

"Angel, he objectifies himself. " Vaggie whispered. "He finds his value in his much he's worth.." her somber voice said quietly. You also understood that. That manic looks in his eyes as he said that, oof...

Later Charlie and Vaggie made Husk go after Angel to make sure he was alright. "C'mon ...why can you guys just leave me alone for a bit.." Angel whispered in the other room, feeling another sense of dread. Was there going to be any end of that today? Why did it feel like this show was targeting him specifically.

Husk noticed one of the guys who was with Angel slip something into his drink. Before that prick could hand it to Angel, Husk shoved him off and dragged Angel out of the bar.

' You just let people drug you all the time? '

' You think I asked for it? '

Oh no, another fresh wave of tears was approaching. Fuck it all..fuck this shit. Husk please do something, anything.

' It's not an act! It's who I need to be. And this? This is my escape. Where I can forget about it all. And how much I hate.. everything. A place where I can get high, and not care about how much it hurts. And maybe if I can ruin myself enough in the process. If I end up broken, I won't be his favourite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go..'

You were sure that touched everyone's heart right now. Including Alastor's. The urge to just go and comfort him increased tenfold. "Angel...." You softly whispered.

' I was an overlord once you know...yeah.  And uh,it was nice to have that power. But when you're dealin' in souls, while also being a gambler. The stakes are pretty high.'

Husk was a...what? What's with this sudden lore drop.

' So when you're down in your luck, you turn to anything to keep you afloat. Even making deals yourself. '

It showed a bit of Husk losing to Alastor. So he lost to Alastor in a bet and then sold his soul to stay safe. His grumpy attitude towards Alastor made so much more sense now. Husk grumbled, he didn't want this part of his side shown so abruptly.

' So things look bad

And your back's against the wall '

Is Husk going to sing now to cheer him up? Aww... finally.

' You've lost your way

Ya think your life is wrecked

Well, let me just say,

You're..... correct. '

' Wait what? '

All of you had the same reaction. What the fuck? Wasn't Husk supposed to be comforting him? It did look like it was going that way in the beginning.

' You're a loser, baby,

a loser, goddamn baby

You're a fucked up little whiny bitch

You're a loser just like me. '

"Husk what the fuck are you singing?" Vaggie tried to argue but Husk shushed her. "Shut up, I know what I'm doing."

' But lettin' walls down

It can sometimes set you straight.

We're all living in

The same shit sandwich. '

You knew it. Husk was trying to comfort him in his own way. The song was everything you asked for without knowing.

' We're both losers

Baby we're losers

It's okay to be a. '

' Coked up dick suckin' ho? '

' Baby that's fine by me. '

You didn't miss the way Angel lit up when Husk said he didn't mind the way he was. That he accepted him. And Angel actually felt the same way in the other room. He had a small smile on his face as he cradled the phone close to his chest and watched. At least, he knew he wasn't alone.

' I got no holes left to deflower. '

' I sold my soul to save my power. '

You paused to read the signs a bit. You wondered what 'no balls' signs meant for Husk. He was a cat right. Was he...

' You're a loser, baby '

' A loser, but just maybe if we '

' Eat shit together

things will end up differently. '

You hoped for better future for these two. After this song, you definitely shipped them together. You wanted them to be there for each other and have each others back. The way the danced together was rather adorable as well. Husk knew just the way to cheer Angel up.

Before they could end the song peacefully, it was ruined by the people Husk rescued Angel from. You never saw Husk fight before so it was new seeing this side of him. He had explosive dices? That was cool.

' I told you, I can handle myself Baby. '

With that, Angel brought out all six of his arms and began shooting. You had to admit, that was really attractive of him.

' Cause this guy? Ain't half bad. '

Angel felt his heart pierce beside the other room as he looked at the screen.

' I'm so sorry Angel. I promise I won't ever ever ever ever- '

' Charlie, it's fine. I get it. Thanks for caring about me. '

Angel awkwardly petted Charlie's head as she was squeezing him in a hug. He didn't know how to deal with this situation well, with someone who actually cared, but he tried. Charlie started to cry both in and out the show. Angel picked her up like a cat and gave her to Vaggie.

' Hey, how about that drink? '

' You read my mind. '

And with that, the episode was finally over. As soon as it was, Charlie and you stood up at the same time to look for Angel. Angel slumped down beside Cherri. " What a episode huh? " He sounded rather weak. "Yeah...." Cherri whispered, holding him close now. Before Angel could reply, there were knocks on the door.

" Angel? It's me, (Y/n)... Is it okay I come in?"

Cherri was about to say no for Angel's sake. But Angel stopped her. "I got it toots." He knew he looked shitty. He wiped his eyes and took a few large breaths. He's got this. So what if they saw what happens, as long he can play it cool, it'll be fine.

" Y-yeah, I'm fine. I'll be back in a sec!"

Fuck, he didn't mean for his voice to break in the middle. Hearing that, both you and Charlie felt more helpless. Vaggie and others also followed you two soon. Pentious looked awkward as she rubbed his hands together.

"I...uh, well, tell that spider fellow, uh, Anthony, that if he needs any new gadgets any time. I'll be happy to help! Good night!"

Saying that, he poofed and turned into a snake and slithered away somewhere. Vaggie patted Charlie's head and held her close. Husk stood next to you with a huff. You understood he must be anxious for Angel too just as much as you were.

Husk was leaning on the door. So when Angel finally opened the door, He fell down on his ass with a thud. You were a bit spooked at the suddeness. "..fucking..." As Husk was opening his eyes again, Angel's laughing face came into his view. For a second, he thought he actually saw an angel.... It felt like the whole room's light fell on his face. Suddenly he couldn't handle looking at him as he looked forward.

" Ya okay there kitty cat? "

Angel's voice rang out as he crouched down beside him. "Yeah....but are you...?" He asked awkwardly. "Ye-uff" he got tackled in a bone crushing hug from Charlie crying. You soon joined her and hugged him while also crying. Angel felt trapped, being caged in a hug by two crying woman at once. " A little...help... please..?" He looked at Cherri who was looking at it with a smile.

" Nah, you got it covered." She said while messing up his hair and heading to the kitchen. Angel pouted as he looked at Vaggie. But she also followed Cherri making him sigh. He looked down at the girls. "I'm....okay...you can let go now."

" Angel I promise you when we get back, I'm going to get you out ! Any way possible! I'll talk with my father and-"

"Toots calm down-"

"Angel I promise, if Valentino ever comes here I'm going to squish him like the bug he is!"

"(Y/n) It really isn't necessary.

.

..

...

....

Actually no, do it."

Angel's eyes fell to Husk as he finally stood up and gave him a small smile and a nod. Angel knew how much meant. His smile beamed as well.

Alastor and Niffty were having tea in the kitchen when Angel was finally released from your grasp after a good while later. As soon as Angel stepped into the kitchen, Niffty scurried off from the table and grabbed some cupcakes she baked and practically shoved it in front of his face.

" Here! For you! "

" Uh, thanks Niff... "

" Why don't you join us Angel? Or should I say Anthony now?" Alastor said while sipping his tea. Oh right, his real name was revealed now. " Honestly, I don't mind either of em. Call me what you want, it ain't gonna change who I am. The sexiest motherfucker to ever exist. "

Alastor rolled his eyes at that but soon enough, they engaged in small talk. It was a rare sight to see them both talk so peacefully. But today's episode knocked the wind out of all of the crew. After everyone was fed, everyone proposed to give the single bed to Angel. "What? There's already too many of us. Where's Husk gonna sleep?"

"Eh, don't worry about it. I can turn into a cat and sleep in the corner."

"But-"

No amount of argument was able to sway you guys. All of you made sure he was fully fed till he couldn't anymore. Asked him if he was comfortable and pampered him however you could. He was peacefully tucked into the bed. Angel didn't have to lift a finger.

By 2 am. You all were fast asleep. Everyone slept in the same spot as last night and Husk slept in the corner of your pillow as a cat. It seemed like everything ended well, even after all the commotion.

.

.

.

.

The blue coloured animal was getting impatient and hungry in the pond. Oh so much hungry. There wasn't any fish or anything of the sort it could eat. It tried to go into the land, however it wasn't successful. While it was still able to breathe above water, it didn't necessarily have the limbs it needed to walk on land.

It was determined to catch the first prey it gets. Or it'll have to die starving in this strange world.

A.n: I'm shaking as I post this, lol. Please do remember that I tried my best to be as considerate as possible while writing this chapter. Of course you might think 'oh this character would react more differently ' and it may be true. But what I wrote is what I think they would react like. If you think they'd react differently then you're more then welcome to write about it yourself (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Also another thing, For people who would like to visualise how Adrian looks, I imagine him to be a combination of Hinata from haikyuu and Childe from genshin impact.

I've been rereading the first few chapters of this book and god there are so many errors. I'll fix them soon but the main things will remain unchanged.

Hope I did a decent enough job in this chapter (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

Also Eid Mubarak to all my fellow Muslims out there!!

Tag list: @legostars @glowinthedarkbones1150 @darifes @aria-tempest @rainbowcake1212 @luxylucylou

[khaleesiofalicante]

TID WEEK - CHARLOTTE FAIRCHILD

“No, no, no,” Alec threw his notepad away. “Just no.”

“Alexander?” Magnus walked out of Rafe’s room. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes. Yes, everything is alright,” Alec replied, not wanting to bother Magnus. “Is Rafe asleep?”

“Only after three songs,” Magnus smiled. “What is it, darling? I know something is bothering you.”

“I thought I had a good poker face,” Alec frowned. 

“You do,” Magnus concurred. “But your notepad is on the floor and you are surrounded by crumpled pieces of paper. That is usually not a good sign.”

“I’m fine, my love,” Alec reassured but then sighed when Magnus didn’t back down. “I just…I just don’t know what to do about this treasury issue. I’ve been thinking of a long-term strategy and I…I can’t seem to figure anything out.”

“Oh, Alexander,” Magnus sat down next to him. “You’ll figure it out.”

“When?” Alec scoffed. “I wish…I wish dad was here.”

Magnus held his face and laid a soft kiss on the forehead. “I know I’m no inquisitor, but maybe I can help you?”

“You always do, Magnus,” Alec smiled. “But this…this is so tied up with our history and bureaucracy…I need to talk to a shadowhunter. I need someone with clave experience. I know I can do it; I just need some guidance.”

“You could ask Jia?”

“No, no,” Alec said quickly. “Jia trusted me with this responsibility. I can’t ask her. I need to do this on my own. I can’t…I can’t be the consul who can’t do anything alone.”

“Alec-”

“It’s fine,” Alec put on his best smile. “You go to sleep. I’ll join you in a bit.”

It was already late. They both knew Alec wouldn’t come to bed without figuring this out.

“How about if you could meet another consul?” Magnus asked. “Someone before Jia?”

“None of them are alive, Magnus,” Alec pointed out.

“They don’t have to be,” Magnus replied. “I’ve been learning more dream magic now that Ragnor is back and I gotta say it is quite useful. Actually...I can help you meet one of the best consuls I know.”

“You don’t mean...” Alec gasped. “Charlotte Fairchild???”

“The one and only,” Magnus grinned.

“You can do that?” Alec gaped.

“Darling, there is very little I can’t do,” Magnus winked.

“You mean like doing laundry?” Alec chuckled.

“I just don’t see the point in washing old clothes when you could simply buy new ones!” Magnus explained in exasperation. “Do you want to meet Charlotte or not?”

“Yes please,” Alec grinned. 

Magnus led Alec to the bedroom and asked him to lie down.

“Wait, hold on!” Alec jumped up and ran towards the closet. “I can’t meet Charlotte Fairchild in pajamas.”

“And you think that sweater is an upgrade is from the pajamas?” Magnus laughed to himself.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Alec lied down again once he put on some decent clothes.

“Sweet dreams,” Magnus giggled as he laid a quick kiss on Alec’s lips and Alec rolled his eyes, although he couldn’t help but chuckle either.

“Also, this laundry conversation is not ov-”

Familiar blue magic surrounded him and Alec felt his body automatically relax. It wasn’t just the spell, but the magic itself. Magnus’ magic knew him well. It was such an intimate feeling – something only Alec was privileged enough to experience.

The next thing he knew he was standing in the middle of a manor. It was old – but not in terms of the structure. It was sturdy and strong, but the décor implied that Alec had successfully found his way to his destination.

Alec had been to many manors in Idris after the Dark War. But this one…this one seemed unfamiliar. The only thing he recognized was the familiar sigil of the angel wings on the door.

“It burned down,” a voice said, and Alec turned around. “Valentine burned it to the ground - which is why you don’t seem to recognize it.”

And there she was.

She was sitting behind a desk, reading some letters. Alec didn’t know if there was a desk there before, but he didn’t care. He was standing in front of Charlotte Fairchild, his idol.

He was not going to make a fool himself today. Not today!

“It’s an honor to meet you,” Alec said in disbelief. “I’m Al-”

“Alec Lightwood,” she smiled. “The Consul in exile. I must say, it’s an honor to meet you too.”

“Staph!” Alec giggled.

Get yourself together, Alec!

“Truly,” she insisted. “I’m so impressed by everything you have achieved in such a short time.”

“But how do you know?” Alec wondered. “Who I am and what I-”

“Magic,” she simply shrugged. “Your husband is an extremely capable man.  I don’t know how but I seem to know who you are and what you do. I even know what Netflix is! How fascinating!”

“Um, good for you,” Alec said. “Do you…Do you know why I’m here?”

“The treasury,” Charlotte nodded. “You are worried about nephilim finances.”

“Without Idris, we don’t have access to the Citadel and w-” Alec didn’t want to rant. “I just don’t know what to do. We’ve been relying on religious institutions, but I don’t think that’s going to cut in the long run.”

“I see,” she looked into her teacup gravely. “How can I help you, Alec Lightwood.”

“I don’t know,” Alec bit his lip. “I don’t know if you can help me at all. I just…I just know I need to fix this. I need to fix it for my people. They are relying on me to lead them and I can’t let them down. But I don’t know how. I’ve been trying and I can’t seem to figure it out. And I’m running out of time. I can’t let the Nephilim economy collapse. I need to fix it. I need to find a way.”

Charlotte was quietly sipping her tea. Alec couldn’t help but be embarrassed a little. Here he was meeting his idol and lamenting about his problems. What would she think of him?

“You remind me of my son,” she said then.

“Oh,” Alec responded in surprise. “I’m not a blonde though. Now my parabatai Jace is just like Mat-”

“I was talking about Charles,” she corrected him.

“Oh,” Alec blinked. “Oh. Ew!”

Realization struck him and he covered his mouth in embarrassment.

“Shit! Shit, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. God, this is so-”

“No offense taken,” she put her teacup down. “I know Charles wasn’t, how do you say…oh, yes, he wasn’t a fan favourite.”

“I’m sure he had many redeeming qualities,” Alec offered, trying to salvage his fuck up.

“He did,” she smiled, and Alec couldn’t help but notice that it was a little sad. “But he also had many unredeemable ones.”

Alec didn’t know what to say about that. As a father, it was almost impossible to find fault with his kids. He was sure that Max and Rafe both would have vices of their own, but he didn’t know how to look at them as anything less than perfection.

“One thing Charles never understood was that leadership isn’t just about leading. It’s also about relying. It’s about leaning on the shoulders on those you trust.”

“But as the Consul it’s my job to fix it,” Alec pointed out.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help,” Charlotte countered. “It doesn’t make you weak or incompetent. It makes you stronger.”

Alec pouted. He felt like a child.

“I know it makes you feel vulnerable,” she stood up and walked towards him. “I was the first female consul. You don’t think I hesitated every time I needed help? It was torture. I knew I was better with the support of those I loved and trusted. But asking for help meant that I couldn’t do something on my own. It made my question my own competency. Then I couldn’t help but wonder if other would start questioning it.”

“I know,” Alec agreed. It was exactly how he felt every time he needed help too. He was scared to ask for it, wondering if others would think he wasn’t up for the task. It was torture indeed. 

“I think Charles would have turned out to be a better man if he had people he could trust and rely on. But he didn’t. But you know who did?”

“Matthew,” Alec replied.

“Yes. But as Matthew might tell you, there is no point in having friends if you can’t count on their support when you need it,” Charlotte said gently.

Alec knew she was right. But right things often were the hardest to do.

“You are the leader of Nephilim. It’s not an easy job. Not at all. So, stop trying to do it yourself. We Nephilim are nothing without our brothers and sisters. Trust those around you. Trust yourself.”

“I…It seems impossible at this point but I’ll try,” Alec promised.

“That’s the best any one of us can do,” she smiled. “Yours is the story that redefines what is impossible. I have faith in you, Alec Lightwood.”

“You do?” Alec asked in disbelief.

“You got Magnus Bane to settle down,” she chuckled. “There is little you can’t do.”

“Thanks,” Alec chuckled back.

They had a cup of tea then. They talked about politics. They talked about their families. They talk about the downworld. They even talked about Netflix.

It was one of the best days – or rather dreams – of Alec’s life.

“It’s hard, isn’t it?” Alec asked when he was about to leave.

“What’s hard?” Charlotte inquired.

“Being the first.”

He was the first gay Consul. She had been the first female Consul. He knew she could relate.

“It is hard,” she agreed. “But we make it a little bit easier for everyone who comes after us. That makes all of this worth it, don’t you think?”

Alec smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, it does. Thank you, Charlotte. Now how do I, um…”

“Close your eyes and think of home,” she smiled. “And don’t ask me how I know!”

“Okay, okay,” Alec chuckled and glanced at her one last time.

She was small. Even tiny. Alec was surprised by the amount of strength and kindness she carried inside that small body. She continued to amaze him in every possible way.

Her hair wasn’t red and her eyes weren’t green, but Alec knew that she was a Fairchild just as much as Clary. They were two of the strongest women he knew.

“Remember what I said,” she called. “Trust those around you. If you want to lead, you must learn to rely.”

“I will,” Alec promised her again.

“Who knows, it might even help you with your treasure problem,” she winked.

“What do you mean?” Alec raised an eyebrow.

“Our shadowhunters are more talented than we give them credit for,” she pointed out. “We have inventors, writers, poets, painters, musicians and so much more. Give them the opportunity to discover themselves. Let them earn their own income. Maybe they will contribute to the Clave.”

“Nephilim doing mundane jobs?” Alec gaped. “But that has never been done before!”

“Alexander Lightwood-Bane,” she chuckled fondly. “You are a gay man married to a bisexual warlock, raising two child one of whom is also a downworlder. You are a consul who is not allowed to set foot in Idris and currently are working from New York. Nothing you do has ever been done before!”

Alec laughed. “Okay, you are not wrong.”

“My Henry once told me that Nephilim aren’t meant for destruction,” she said gently. “We are meant to create. He told me that we are meant to create strength and preserve goodness. So, let them create. Let them preserve. ”

Alec thought of Clary and her art. Simon and his music. Jace and his plants. Izzy and her clothes. They all had something they were passionate about. They all had something they wanted to show the world. They all had something they had to sacrifice just because of their blood. They all restricted themselves of the good they can do just because the law said they couldn’t.

“You are the Consul, Alec,” Charlotte pointed out. “But the shadow world belongs to all of us. It is the responsibility of every single nephilim to fix it and to protect it – not just yours. So, let them help you. Maybe you could help each other.”

It could work. It could work if they figured out the logistics. Shadowhunters doing mundane jobs to pursue their passions. Shadowhunters helping to rebuild the treasury. It could work.

“Although I must warn you,” Charlotte hesitated suddenly. “People might oppose you and call this idea crazy.”

“That’s what makes it more fun, right?” Alec asked cheekily.

“There is the Lightwood devil I know,” she chuckled fondly, a thousand memories hiding in the winkles of her eyes. “I see why Magnus chose you.”

“Thank you,” Alec meant it with all his heart. “Thank you so much.”

“I only advised what I wish I could have done in my own time,” she said kindly. “I wish all the luck, Alec Lightwood. May the angel be with you always.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Consul,” Alec smiled.

“The pleasure was mine, Consul,” she smiled back.

It was surreal. All of it. The fact that he was Consul. The fact that he was talking to Charlotte. The fact that he might figure this out. All of it was surreal.

Alec never wanted it to be anything else. He loved his surreal life where every day was magic.

“Now it’s time to wake up,” she said, and Alec closed his eyes and thought of the smell of Sandalwood.

“So, what did she say?” Magnus inquired, lying on his side. “Did she help you figure it out?”

“She did,” Alec nodded. “She said that we should rely on things that are familiar. She said that we might tempted to try new things, because it’s easier to choose something new than to trust something old. Old things don’t automatically become clean and perfect. We need to work hard to-”

“Alexander,” Magnus slapped him on the arm. “Are you talking about laundry again????”

“You just need to press three buttons!!!” Alec reasoned. “Come on, Magnus!”

“You are the worst!” Magnus slapped him on the arm again and Alec started laughing and Magnus started to laugh with him.

His heart was overloaded with love, but he had never felt lighter. His head was swimming with possibilities for the new nephilim future and his heart felt at peace. Alec didn’t know that shadowhunters were capable of sleeping like this – without fear and without burden.

Yours it the story that redefines what is impossible, Charlotte had said. So, Alec closed his eyes and looked forward to the impossible future he planned to redefine.  

[shawnssongs]

Better [2]

JJ can’t help but fall for his best friend, but what about the rule? Pogues don’t mack on other pogues. He thinks she deserves better than him anyway...

word count: 3,141 warnings: language, plus it’s unedited... think that’s it.

catch up with PART 1 or check out my masterlist here!

“Why’d you take a shower?” John B asked you as you made your way down to Heywards to pick up Pope. John B said Pope needed to finish up a few chores before his dad would let him come.

“Uh, I mean you were gone and I just felt like it. I’m sorry if I wa-”

John B just laughed at your nerves. “It’s okay, Y/n. You can take one whenever. I was just wondering.”

“Oh, okay.”

John B steered the boat carefully, and you made the mistake of looking at JJ. He was staring right back at you with an amused smirk on his face.

You just roll your eyes and give him a light kick to the calf.

When you made it to the dock, Pope wasn’t outside.

“Pope!” JJ yelled. “C’mon man!”

When he didn’t come out, John B stood up. “I got him. Be right back.”

When John B was out of sight, you turned to JJ.

“So...”

“So what?” He asked just to annoy you. He knew what you wanted to talk about.

“What was that?”

JJ could tell you were being serious, so he stopped joking around. “I think it was two people doing something really fucking stupid.”

Ouch.

“But...” he continued. “I think, no matter how stupid, those two should probably keep doing it.”

You raised your eyebrows at him. JJ hated feeling vulnerable, so he always spoke in code like that to mask his true feelings, but that wasn’t good enough for you right now. He needed to be just a bit vulnerable right now.

“What do you mean, JJ?”

“I mean...” He trailed off, trying to come up with his next words. “I kind of want to redeem myself.”

You just scoff and shake your head.

“Y/n, wait! No. Tha-That’s not what I meant. You know it’s not.”

“Then tell me! What exactly do you want this to be? We’ve been dancing around each other for months, and I’m tired of guessing.”

His blue eyes stare into yours, and he speaks slowly and clearly. “I want you. I want you, and only you.”

You couldn’t help the small smile that started to form on your face. “You do?”

“I do.”

“That wasn’t just a one time thing?”

“I told you. I need to redeem myself.” JJ joked, earning a punch in the arm which had you both laughing. “I’m serious, though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Kiss me.”

JJ obliges, and he kisses you as you feel his hand come up to cup your jaw.

You pull away after a bit, another question on your mind.

“Just between us?”

JJ nodded. “No pogue on pogue macking, right?” You nod. “If the other pogues don’t know, it doesn’t count.”

“Got him!” You hear John B yell, him and Pope walking towards the dock.

“What took so long?” JJ asked, scooting away from you a bit.

“My dad made John B helps us put some stuff away first.”

The four of you just bantered until you made it to your next stop to pick up Kiara. While you’d probably say JJ was your true best friend, Kiara was a close second. You could talk to her about stuff you couldn’t talk to the guys about. Not to mention, the two of you just liked having the company of another girl sometimes. The boys could be a little much...

“Hi guys!” She greeted, cooler in hand as usual.

“You’re a lifesaver, Kie.” You complimented as JJ helped her onto the boat.

“You guys really only like me for my beer, huh?” She asked and you all agreed, joking, of course.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” She asked.

Pope answered for you all. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Water’s too calm to surf,” JJ explained.

“And the fishing’s been shit recently,” John B finished for him.

“Let’s just get out there and swim,” you suggested. “It’s too fucking hot to do anything else.”

The summer sun was beating down on you, and you wanted nothing more than to stick your head in Kie’s cooler. Of course, you could take your shirt off, but none of the guys had even done that yet, and you were not going to be the first.

After a while, you all found a place to anchor the boat. Since you’d already finished your beer, you were the first one to rip off your clothes and jump into the water.

“Oh my god,” you practically moaned. “This feels so nice.”

Soon, everyone had jumped in, and your nice calm swim turned into a wrestling match. Pope was splashing everyone, and JJ kept grabbing you and trying to flip you over him.

After a while, you noticed the five of you had gotten pretty far from the boat, pushed back by the waves.

“Wanna go back?” You asked the group, and they all agreed.

“Let’s race.” Kie suggested.

You were always up for a race. You used to be on the swim team until it had gotten too expensive to be a part of, so you pretty much always won.

“3...” John B started. “2...”

JJ started swimming before he hit one and the rest of you took off. You grabbed JJ’s calf, pulling him backwards and stopping his forward motion.

“Hey!” He complained.

“Cheater!” You yelled back and swam forward. You knew he couldn’t catch you.

As usual, you reached the boat first. John B was next, then Kie, then Pope, and finally JJ. He seemed to have given up and slowed down towards the end.

“That wasn’t fair. Y/n pulled me back.” He pouted.

“You went before one!” Pope argued back.

“Yeah, JJ. You get what you get.”

“It’s okay.” You spoke up. “JJ just felt the need to cheat since we all know he has endurance issues.”

The four of you laughed as JJ’s face blushed red. He sent you a glare, mouthing ‘you’ll pay for that’ while the others were too distracted by their own laughter.

For another couple of hours, thd five of you just hung out on the boat, laying flat on your backs to dry off and soak up the sun, which had gotten a little more tolerable as the day went on.

“So what do you guys want to do with your lives?” Kie asked, a little buzzed from the mix of beer and weed.

“I want to go to school for forens-” Pope started to speak but you all cut him off.

“We know!”

“But I’m serious,” Kie continued. “Y/n, what are you going to do when we’re out of high school?”

“Um,” you thought about it for a second, handing the half smoked joint of to JJ who was right next to you. “I mean I want to go to college. Maybe animal sciences, environmental science. I don’t know.”

“Besides school.” Kie prodded.

“I mean I want to get married. Have kids...”

You didn’t know it, but JJ’s heart was racing next to you.

“John B?” Kie finally moved on, but JJ tuned out.

You wanted to go to college. You wanted a family. He could never give you what you wanted. He couldn’t be what you deserved. You needed someone *better*. But it was okay. You guys were still in high school, right? JJ could be a little selfish if he wanted to, and that’s exactly what he was going to do.

“JJ?” He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his name.

“Huh?”

“What about you?” Kie asked, and JJ swore he could feel your eyes turn to watch him.

“Uh, I don’t know, man. Just living day by day, I guess.” It wasn’t a lie, and it was better than saying it didn’t matter what he wanted because there was no way he was ever getting out of the outer banks. He was stuck here, just like his dad.

“Holt shit!” John B laughed, sitting up from his spot on the boat. “Y/n, did you forget sunscreen?”

The rest of you sit up as well, all eyes on your reddened body.

“Oh my god! No!”

JJ placed a finger on your stomach and you slapped his hand away.

“Shit!” He laughed at the white mark left where his finger had been.

“I put on sunscreen this morning!”

“And then you took a shower...” John B reminded you.

“Ughhh.” You groan, falling back against the boat.

“Guess that means it’s probably time to head home, huh?” Kie suggested, and the rest of you agreed. You were going to have a hell of a time dealing with this sunburn. At least it wasn’t your back.

You dropped Kie off first, as usual, but she promised she’d come to your place tomorrow morning with some aloe for you. You had the cheap gel, but she had access to the real stuff, and you weren’t going to turn that down.

Pope was next, and he made sure to give you a hug before getting off the boat. It was a normal occurrence so you didn’t think anything of it, but just as you felt his skin come into contact with yours and heard the laughing of the three boys, you shrieked and pulled away from him.

“Damn it, Pope! Get out of here!”

“JJ told me to do it.” Pope explained.

“Fuck you!” You yell at your blonde best friend.

“Oh you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You just ignore him, not giving him the satisfaction of a response and turn back to Pope who was now on the dock.

“For such a smart guy, I’m surprised you haven’t learned not to listen to JJ.”

You heard John B and JJ laughing behind you as you watched Pope struggle to come up with a response. He ended up giving up, walking away without another word.

Just as John B pulled away from the dock, you felt a stinging sensation on your stomach, and of course, it was JJ, wrapping just arms around you from behind.

“Fuck off, JJ! This isn’t funny!”

“It’s a little funny.” John B cuts in.

“It actually hurts though.”

While you were talking, JJ decided to light another joint. He knew weed wasn’t a painkiller, obviously, but he was sure it would keep your mind off the burn. Plus, he took every chance he could to smoke, especially with you.

“John B?” You start, taking a hit from the joint before continuing. “Can I borrow some sweats and a long sleeve or something when we get back to your place? I don’t really want to walk back home in the sun.”

“No.”

“What?”

John B chuckled. “I mean yes and no. You can borrow clothes if you want but you don’t have to. I’ll drive you back.”

“What?” You ask. “No, John B. Don’t waste your gas. I can walk home. I do it all the time.”

“I’m driving you back home, Y/n. That’s final.”

You rolled your eyes because the boys always seem to treat you like their little sister, but you were secretly kind of glad they took such good care of you.

When the pogue was successfully docked outside of the Chateau, John B made his way inside, but you and JJ stayed out on the boat to finish the joint. No reason to waste it, right?

“C’mere.” JJ spoke softly before lifting the blunt to his mouth.

You leaned in, sure of what he was about to do.

And just as expected, he held the smoke in, releasing it into your mouth as you pressed your lips together. JJ watched in awe as you let the second hand smoke out in rings, so expertly.

“I love when you do that,” he admitted.

“Yeah?” You smirk at him.

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

Before you could respond, he leaned in for another kiss. You felt his tongue on your lower lip, and you allowed him entrance to your mouth, tangling your tongues together. The kiss grew more and more heated by the second, all until JJ’s hand found your waist and gripped harshly.

“Ow!” You screeched. “JJ!” You push him off of you, looking down at the white mark left on your skin from where his palm covered your burn.

“Oh shit. Fuck, Y/n I-”

“You okay, Y/n?” You hear John B call from the Chateau.

“Yeah!” You yell back to him, deciding to get out of the boat. The longer you stayed out there with JJ, first of all, you were probably getting even more burnt than you already were, but second of all, the more likely you were to get caught. It seemed like John B already had a suspicion, and you weren’t going to make it easy for him to confirm it.

You head into the chateau, your discarded clothes in hand because you really didn’t feel like putting clothes back on over your burn.

“Shit, Y/n. You’re as red as a lobster.”

“Thanks for pointing that out, John B,” you tease, “I had no idea.” To be honest, the color did look even worse now that you were inside. And of course, it was only the front of your body. This burn was going to screw up your tan lines all summer.

“You can grab some clothes from my room if you want ‘em. You know where they are.”

“Thanks, JB. And I’m sorry to ask this, but-”

John B nodded before you even got the chance to ask. “Yes, you can take another shower.”

“Thank you, you’re the best!” You kiss him on the cheek, just as JJ comes through the front door.

When they finally hear the shower start, John B decides to have a little fun with JJ. He could tell something was going on between the two of you, but he knew neither of you would admit it. You just happened to be great at keeping secrets, and sometimes you were an almost scarily good actor. And JJ, he was pretty see through, but like he always said, ‘deny deny deny.’ Even when people could tell something was up with him, he never broke. Though, John B was pretty sure he knew how to get him to admit it this time.

“JJ, can I ask you something?”

“Uh, yeah?” JJ sat down on the couch, trying not to think about what happened there just this morning.

“What do you think about Y/n?” John B sat down next to JJ, looking inquisitive.

“W-what do you mean?” JJ asked, uncomfortable.

“Like, what do you think about her? Would you date her?” John B was trying to hard not to laugh at JJ’s expression.

JJ knew John B would think something was up if he acted awkward about this, so he answered like he figured he probably would have a couple months before.

“I think she’s fuckin’ hot as hell. Confident, funny, smart. Did you know she gets straight A’s?”

“I did.” John B nodded.

“I mean yeah, I’d hookup with her. But pogues don’t mack on pogues, right?” JJ smiled, thinking he’d been pretty convincing.

John B nodded, still acting contemplative. “But you wouldn’t date her?”

JJ struggled to come up with an answer for that one. “I mean, you know I don’t really date... not my thing.”

“But do you think she’s date worthy? Girlfriend material?”

“What are you getting at?” JJ finally asked, annoyed with all of John B’s prodding.

“I want to ask her out.”

Well that wasn’t where JJ was expecting that conversation to go. He choked, but tried to mask it by clearing his throat.

“What?” He turned to face his tanned friend.

“I know the rule but, I mean, she’s kind of perfect.”

“Since when have you been interested in her?” JJ got defensive.

“I don’t know. A while?” John B hadn’t thought that far into the lie. “But what do you think? Should I ask her out?”

No, you shouldn’t, asshole. “I don’t think so, JB. The ru-”

“Fuck the rule!”

“Still no.” JJ answered, and John B knew he was finally getting somewhere. “I don’t think she’d be interested in you.”

“Well, I think she would be. Sends me signals all the time.” John B was lying. You and him were great friends, but you both knew that was it. Nothing more would ever come of it. He saw you like a sister and you saw him like a brother. JJ didn’t need to know that though. “I mean she takes my clothes all the time. She’s always kissing me on the cheek. She always sits next to me when we’re watching movies... leaning into me.”

“Alright, stop, okay?” JJ was fed up. “Y/n wouldn’t date you because she’s seeing someone.”

“What?” John B acted surprised.

JJ just kept going with the lie. “Yeah, she’s keeping it a secret.”

“But she told you?” John B raised his eyebrows.

“Of course she told me. She tells me everything.”

“If she was in a relationship, why would she tell you and not Kie?”

JJ didn’t have an answer for that one. He was right. If you were in a relationship, Kie would be the first person you’d go to. “I don’t know. She just did.”

“Who is it, JJ?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“JJ, just tell me who it is.”

“No!”

“Fine, I’ll go ask her.” John B stormed off to the bathroom door and JJ ran after him.

“Fine!” JJ cracked, gripping John B’s arm which was about to knock. “Get away from the door.”

John B backed up, and JJ released his hand.

“You can’t tell her you know.”

“Know what?” John B wasn’t going to stop until JJ admitted it. He mostly just wanted to see JJ day he was dating someone.

“It’s me. Y/n and I... we’re together.”

John B just smiled and laughed.

“Wh-”

“That took way longer than I expected,” John B admitted.

“You knew?” JJ looked at his friend in disbelief.

“Of course I knew. Been expecting it for months. Then this morning, the sex smell, the shower, Y/n acting so weird. I knew. I just needed you to confirm it.” John B was smiling, extremely proud of himself.

“First of all, you’re an asshole, John B. And second of all, don’t tell anyone.” JJ raised his finger to John B as if he was threatening him.

“I won’t.”

“Not Kie, not Pope, not Y/n. This stays between us, alright?”

John B hit JJ’s hand away from him. “I get it, JJ. You know they’re going to figure it out though, right?”

The water in the bathroom stopped, and they knew you’d be out any second.

“Not a word,” JJ warned, going to sit back down on the couch.

John B put his hands up in surrender and stalked back to his room.

sorry, this was kind of a filler chapter. hopefully you enjoyed! I promise it’ll get better.

Part 3? Please send feedback!

Also if you want to be added to the taglist, let me know :) @tangledinsparkles @treestarrrrrrrr @parkersdarling @eternalharry @sarahsmaybank @mileven-reddie

[inadaydream99]

Like a Challenge

The Boyz Q/ Changmin

It’s a week before finals and all you want is to get some studying done in the library. Though there’s one thing in your way, the devilishly cute boy sitting in front of the last available computer on his laptop. Things don’t get off to the best start. But what can you say, you both like a challenge...

A/N - I’ve been working on this oneshot for ages now, kinda been busy and not had much time to write recently. But it’s finally finished!! Enjoy! 😁

You have to be kidding me! You’re seething, hands clenched into fists on either side of your body as you stomp towards the only computer that is free in the library.

You had expected for the library to be packed, it approaching finals and all. But not once did it occur to you that there are people out there who seriously sit on their laptop in front of a computer, stopping anyone else from being able to use it.

“Excuse me, is this computer available?” You force a smile onto your face. You have to give the benefit of the doubt right? Maybe he hadn’t realised he had taken the last computer space.

“Yeah.” The guy absentmindedly responds, not even sparing so much as a glance in your direction. You feel the anger bubbling up inside of you once again, becoming more and more agitated by the second.

“Then can you move so I can use it?” Now you’re being blunt, arms folded across your chest as your foot taps impatiently on the floor.

“Maybe if you’d given me a chance to finish my reading then I would have moved, but since you’re being so rude I think I’ll just stay right here.” He finally lifts his focus away from his laptop screen, a scour shooting in your direction.

You gasp a little in shock when your eyes meet his. Ji Changmin. It’s common knowledge around your campus that no one messes with Changmin. Many have tried and failed to outsmart him. But he’s just too clever, too quick witted and snarky. He’s one of the most respected students and you’re not about to take him on in a challenge. Well, at least not right now.

Your mouth snaps shut when you notice Changmin mockingly laughing at you. He’d been watching you the whole time you gawked at him, obviously taken aback when you had realised who you’d come up against.

Heaving a defeated sigh, you turn away from the boy with the intimidatingly dark eyes and begin to walk towards the exit. Maybe tomorrow you’ll have better luck, but for now you’ll settle for studying in your room without a computer.

~

Four days until finals and your second attempt at getting a good amount of studying done. Being adamant to get a computer in the library, you arranged to meet your friend Younghoon after your morning class. Younghoon was kind enough to offer sacrificing his only lay in of the week to grab a decent study spot in the library for you. But only on the condition that you bought him coffee.

That’s why you almost drop the large takeout cup all over yourself when you gage who has taken the only computer space next to your friend.

“I’m sorry, I tried to tell him this seat was taken but he wouldn’t listen.” Younghoon warily informs you as you drop the cup onto the desk in irritation. You can tell younghoon is nervous, his eyes darting to cast a brief gaze at the person beside him as he informs you in a hushed tone.

“I can’t believe this.” You mumble, dropping your bag off your shoulder. It hits the ground with a loud thud, successfully gaining his attention.

“What.” Changmin turns to you, frustration written across his face. He’s giving you the same look that made you nervous the previous day, only now you aren’t so affected. Or so you hope it seems to him.

You had spent the entirety of the previous evening replaying the awful encounter, each time coming up with new insults and sassy comebacks to spit in his face. You’d imagined rendering him speechless from your perfectly rehursed remarks. Only now, in the moment, does your mind go blank.

“That’s... my seat...” You mentally cringe at yourself. How could you come off so unassertive and timid when you’d envisioned this scenario a hundred times over already?

“Not anymore.” Changmin mocks, the devilish smirk on his face making your fists clench and toes curl. Your body becomes stiff, breathing heavy as you watch him slowly turn back around to face his laptop.

“Come on (Y/N), let’s just go somewhere else.” Younghoon tries to compromise, picking up your bag from the floor and tugging on your hand genlty.

You don’t want to move. Moving means admitting defeat for a second time. But Younghoon persuades you to comply with him by offering his laptop for you to use.

Turning to give one final glare to the back of Changmin’s head, you notice him watching you through the reflection of the black computer screen. The wink he sends you almost makes you see red, a hiss escaping through your gritted teeth as you resist a little from Younghoon’s hold on your hand.

“Don’t stoop to his level.” Younghoon encourages you to raise above and not create a scene in front of the crowded library. And upon refelection you are glad that he was there to keep you grounded and stop you from ripping Changmin’s head off his body.

~

Three days until finals. If you weren’t determined before you definitely are now. You confidentially march into the library, bag flung over your shoulder as your gaze focuses on one thing and one thing only. The only free computer.

Initially your heart leaps in your chest, an elated sensation filling you when you see the empty seat in front of it. This is the moment you had been waiting for and the overjoyed smile on your face informs everyone of this.

Which is why is only angers your more when you make eye contact with the tormenting devil himself; Changmin. He’d been waiting for you, planning how to rile you up once again.

You thought you were clever yesterday by getting your friend to save a seat? Well, two can play at that game and Changmin never loses.

He grins at you menacingly as he tauntingly places his hand on the back of the chair, dragging it out slowly and finally sitting down in front of the computer.

“Can I help you?” Changmin triumphantly smiles up at you as you stand looming over him. From an outsiders perspective it would seem that you are the one tomrmenting him, his feigned innocence only making you lose more and more of your temper.

“What is your problem?” You speak through gritted teeth.

“I’m not the one with the problem, you are.” Changmin reply’s completely unphased. “If you are so desperate for a computer, why don’t you just buy one?” He tilts his head in question, his smirk alerting you of his mocking.

“Because not everyone is able to afford one.” You snap, though you manage to keep your voice controlled. “Now, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve been trying to study for finals and, thanks to you, I’m very behind.” You continue, holding your head up high as you admit defeat for the third and final time.

As you exit the library, you don’t notice the way Changmin watches you walk away, guilt clouding his mind as he slumps into his chair. He’d won at his little game, but for the first time he wasn’t happy. He never thought that he’d ever feel regret towards you and your snarky attitude. I mean, you were the one that started it all, right?

~

Two days until finals and Changmin is waiting by the very same computer, desperate to see you walk into the library. He’d been thinking about you a lot, wishing to have a chance to make things right between you, to redeem himself in your eyes.

Truth be told he had kind of fallen for you a little. He hadn’t realised it at first, but when you sassed him yesterday it made him feel things he’d never felt for anyone else before. He’d seen a part of himself in you, a way that you were similar and it’d made his stomach flutter nervously.

He stands up straighter when he sees Younghoon enter the library, but as soon as he realises that you aren’t with him his posture deflates again.

“If you’re waiting for (Y/N) then you should give up now. She’s not coming.” Younghoon flatly informs Changmin before continuing past him to find a table to study at.

“I took it too far, didn’t I?” Changmin follows Younghoon to the empty table, perching opposite him. This is the first time he’s looked so vulnerable and it makes Younghoon feel a little sorry for him.

“Look, I get that you like (Y/N), but word of advice from her best friend, annoying her isn’t the way to her heart.” Yonghoon softly speaks, leaning across the table a little to keep their discussion private.

“How did you know I- you know what, it doesn’t matter. How do I win her over?” Changmin begins to question, deciding that you are more important than feeling self conscious over being obvious with his crush.

“Tell her how you really feel.” Younghoon encourages with a warm smile. “Oh and, I’m just good at reading people.” He quickly adds, making Changmin roll his eyes before quickly rushing out of the library.

~

One day until finals. Changmin had been looking for you everywhere, but with no luck. He’d even waited outside of one of your classes in hopes that he could catch you at the end, but you never showed.

“I see you finally got the computer.” He beams, chuckling as he approaches you while you study.

In a desperate attempt to find you, he’d decided to try the library one last time and he’s very glad he did.

“And I see you’re slacking.” You turn to him with a cheeky smirk, raising your brow in challenge.

“Oh is that right?” He laughs. “Maybe it was intentional.” He retorts lightheartedly.

You were kinda hoping to bump into Changmin today after hearing from Younghoon how guilty he felt yesterday. You finally feel like you have the upper hand in your odd relationship, so why not have a little fun with it?

“Maybe...” The corner of your lip quirks as you stare at each other. A comfortable silence encapsulates you, almost as if you’d come to some unspoken mutual agreement that things were taking a turn for the better between you.

“So... is this seat taken?” Changmin breaks the silence after a minute, eyebrow raises quizzically as he indicates to the empty chair beside you. You sheepishly turn to look at the chair in question before breaking out into a wide smile.

“It’s all yours.” Changmin’s cheesy grin matches yours as he chuckles under his breath. And for the next few hours you sit together, laughing and chatting while you study.

Needless to say, after that your relationship bloomed and you actually managed to do well on your finals despite your disrupted week. Although, Changmin continues to tease you all the time. Some things never change. And maybe you’ve grown to love it. That, and the fact that you give it just as good back.

[kavinskhhy]

My director’s cut on TROS

(AKA how I fix TRoS reusing its own plot. If you want to write an actual fan fiction with this just message me).

Prologue

We discover Snoke was amassing a fleet and projecting ships equipped with Star Killer cannons.

He could achieve this goal because he accessed Palpatine’s old “secret fortess” on Exegol, the planet of the Sith

Kylo Ren gets this informations shortly after becoming Supreme Leader. Hux (now first general) knows this too and gets worried about what this could mean for the whole galaxy

Meanwhile the Knights of Ren have come back from the unknown regions (they were destoying all the Jedi temples and killing every possible Jedi still alive such as Ahsoka)

Kylo goes to Exegol to investigate with the Knights of Ren but the spirits of the Siths (the voices in his head) force him to obey them and convince him to bring to Exegol the last Jedi, Rey, to have the order finally destroyed for good and start a new line of Siths through the Knights of Ren

Kylo, being the Supreme Leader, accepts and tells the Sith he will bring Rey to Exegol. Deep down he wants to turn her and make her supreme leader along with him. He plans to get rid of the Sith Arena too.

The Knights of Ren want desperately to be full Sith so tha will do anything to reach their goal

Act I

The resistance gets a message from a spy that the First Order has found (somehow) an additional fleet to its already vast attack forces. They get to now this fleet is kept on Exegol and will depart in a matter of days

Rey, thanks to the Jedi texts, knows a way to reach Exegol: use a Sith wayfinder. She descovers it may be on Pasaana

Pasaana is the last known planet where a wayfider was forged. The forging (happened thousands of years before) made Pasaana a desert but did not erase life.

Rey + Finn + Poe + 3PO + Chewie travel to Pasaana while Leia and Rose try to assemble an attack fleet with the help of Lando Carlissian

They make it to an old hidden sith temple and retrive the wayfinder

Kylo connects with Rey, understands where she is. He is going alone to try to turn her but the Knights of Ren stops him. Helped by the voices of the Sith they extort Kylo the Rey’s position.

Chewie gets cought, Rey and Kylo fight over the convoy and destroy it, Knights of Ren gets the wayfinder

Rey, Poe and Finn flee from Pasaana. C3-PO was damaged in the process. To save him they need to visit Babu Frick and Zorri Bliss

Act II

C3-PO is restored but the Knights of Ren followed them

Rey, Poe and Finn enters the First Order ship. While searching for the wayfinder, they overhear that Chewie is alive. They split to save Chewie and retrieve the wayfinder

Poe, Finn and Chewie get caught but are saved by a bunch of Stormtropper deserters. One of them is JN-2109, one of Finn’s former friend

They escape. But a ploton of loyalists to the first order blocks them. They call Zorri for help

Rey fights with Kylo and isn’t able to retrieve the wayfinder; he asks her to join him another time but she tells him to revert to the light instead. He has almost answered but Zorri and Babu Frick get the MF in the landing strip and save the day

They rescue Finn, Poe, Chewie and the rogue StormTroopers

Rey has no choice but to flee leaving Kylo behind

The Knights of Ren take this all in and doubt Kylo’s true motives (they thought he wanted to kill Rey alone to take all the glory)

Act III

Rey searches on the texts again but can’t find nothing about other wayfinders

Rey calls Leia to have a confrontation on what to do

Finn hears a voice (Obi-Wan) that tells him they need to go to the relict of the Death Star

Finn tells Rey (in private) he is Force sensitive and they travel to the Death Star

Meanwhile the Knights of Ren are not please with Kylo. They tell him he let Rey go on purpose and send him to kill her to show his true fealty to the first order. They do so because general Pryde found a damaged footage of the day Snoke was killed and, even if it is not clear, it seems Kylo was the one who killed their master, not Rey

The Knights sends him away to make sure he won’t ruin the their plan to become full fledged Sith. They now fly back to Exegol and wait for Kylo

Rey&Co travels to the sea moon of Endor. After some searching they find what could be a secret Sith “room” in the throne room of the Death Star. Only Rey is permitted to enter though, cause only Force users can enter there

Kylo, thanks to the Force bond, can sense where Rey is and flies there

Rey actually discovers another wayfinder but has to face the “ghost” (in reality it is only a security sistem) of the dead emperor. She is lead to believe she is his secret granddaughter and that is destined to be the ruler of the Siths. She faces a Dark version of herself but is able to snatch the wayfinder away

Kylo, after knocking Poe, Finn and Jannah (she was renamed by Poe) off, talks with Rey and explains her his true plan: get rid of the Knights of Ren and be Supreme Leader next to her

Rey is shaken because of the vision she had. She attacks Kylo multiple times to get the wayfinder back.

They fight (Rey is trying to kill him while Kylo defends himself). Kylo has the high ground, he has almost vanquished Rey but he stops: he has gone too far and does not won’t to hurt her

Leia connects with him through the force. He sense her and lets his saber go.

Rey snatches the red saber and hurts him. She senses Leia’s death and the light in Kylo Ren.

She is shocked about her actions. She heals him and takes the wayfinder; using Kylo’s ship, she flies to Exegol

She doesn’t know that the Knight of Ren are waiting Kylo there and are going to slian her

Kylo finally redeemes himself, sees Han, and goes by Ben Solo again

Ben calls for another ship, but not before telling Jannah (that stood up to confront him to save Rey) that the Knights of Ren went to Exegol to launch the new fleet and try to achieve full Sith powers.

Act IV

Poe Finn and Jannah flies back to where the resistance is to inform them of the new plan.

Leia is dead and practically everyone has lost hope

Rose gives an inspiring speech with the help of Poe

Lando comes to them saying he has gathered a modest number of ships

They think about a strategy to block the fleet on Exegol

Meanwhile Rey has gone to Ach-To to have some answers from Luke

Luke appears as force ghost

She asks him why she and Ben are connected

We get a satisfying explanation of the heck a Dyad is

Rey now knows she can truly redeem Kylo and uses Luke old ship to fly to Exegol. She gives the route to the resistance

The Knights of Ren meanwhile have managed to rise the fleet. They ordered Pryde and Hux to come and bring the full armada on Exegol to unite the two and assemble the Star Killer cannons on the old ships

Rey goes inside the cube because she senses a dark presence there. Here the spirits of the Siths try to enter in her head

Rey is found by the Knight of Ren. Sensing she is hanging in the balance between light and dark, they try to revert her to the Dark Side.

She has almost given in when Ben arrives

The Resistence has come to Exegol to stop the First Order Fleet

Pryde tries to destroy them with a Dtar Killer cannon. Hux fights with him to stop him. It is reveled Hux is the spy.

After the resistence successfully enters Exegol’s atmo Hux contacts them and tells them how to destroy the first order ships

Pryde regain consciousness and fires him. Hux dies in a satisfying and not ridicoulus way

Lando comes with others ships from all over the galaxy

Ben and Rey fights the Knight of Ren. The Sith spirits try to overcome them.

The jedis speak to both Rey and Ben and give them the strength they need to kill the Knight of Ren and destroy what remains of the Siths spirits

Rey dies, Ben brings hat back. He is almost dying to but we see Leia’s corpse fade away. Ben hears his mother voice one last time: she gave him enough living force to not stop breathing

The resistence wins and destroys the whole first order fleet

Rey carries Ben to the ship and they reach the base of the resistence

Epilogue

Poe-Finn-Rey reunites and hug each other

Rose gives Chewie his medal. Maz Kanata tells her she will surely be a great general, as Organa and Holdo were.

Ben gets out of the ship

Everyone wants to kill Ben. He says the first word as Ben solo:”I am a monster. Do as it is right.”

Rey explains them that he was manipulated by the Siths all along, since he was a child

There is trial. Ben is exiled on Tatooine & is forbidden to use the force ever again

Rey goes with him. They bury Leia’s and Luke’s lightsabers.

Anakin ghosts shows up and tells them they are the true legacy of the Skywalkers

Poe and Finn gets medals, they officially becomes leading generals.

They ententes the Falcon and before the door closes they share a kiss. Here’s the lgbt kiss we were all waiting for and, if someone has issues with it, they can cut it out in their country but it is still canon.

Senator Rose and senator Janna watch as the Falcon departs through the sky

Zorri and Babu frick giggles as they load a ship to go back home

Rey and Ben watch the double sunset on Tatooine (no yellow light saber because both the Jedi and the Sith orders are now unexisting).

End of the Skywalker saga

Here. I fixed it.

[pridebooks]

It’s Trans Day of Visibility, so have some books!!

Full list of books (with synopses) under the cut.

First picture: Books by trans authors (most also have trans characters)

Memoirs of a Man’s Maiden Years by N. O. Body - "I was born a boy, raised as a girl. . . . One may raise a healthy boy in as womanish a manner as one wishes, and a female creature in as mannish; never will this cause their senses to remain forever reversed." So writes the pseudonymous N. O. Body, born in 1884 with ambiguous genitalia and assigned a female identity in early infancy. Brought up as a girl, "she" nevertheless asserted stereotypical male behavior from early on. In the end, it was a passionate love affair with a married woman that brought matters to a head. Desperately confused, suicidally depressed, and in consultation with Magnus Hirschfeld, one of the most eminent and controversial sexologists of the day, "she" decided to become "he." N. O. Body was identified as Karl M. Baer (he/him).

Spy Stuff by Matthew J. Metzger - Anton never thought anyone would ever want to date him. Everyone knows nobody wants a transgender boyfriend, right? So he's as shocked as anyone when seemingly-straight Jude Kalinowski asks him out, and doesn't appear to be joking.The only problem is ... well, Jude doesn't actually know.Anton can see how this will play out: Jude is a nice guy, and nice guys finish last. And Anton is transgender, and transgender people don't get happy endings. If he tells Jude, it might destroy everything.And if Jude tells anyone else ... it will. Matthew J. Metzger (he/him) is a queer trans man.

I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver - When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they're thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents' rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.But Ben's attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan's friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.At turns heartbreaking and joyous, I Wish You All the Best is both a celebration of life, friendship, and love, and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity Mason Deaver (they/them) is nonbinary.

George by Alex Gino -When people look at George, they think they see a boy. But she knows she's not a boy. She knows she's a girl.George thinks she'll have to keep this a secret forever. Then her teacher announces that their class play is going to be Charlotte's Web. George really, really, REALLY wants to play Charlotte. But the teacher says she can't even try out for the part . . . because she's a boy.With the help of her best friend, Kelly, George comes up with a plan. Not just so she can be Charlotte -- but so everyone can know who she is, once and for all. Alex Gino (they/them) is genderqueer.

Starglass by Phoebe North -  Terra has never known anything but life aboard the Asherah, a city-within-a-spaceship that left Earth five hundred years ago in search of refuge. At sixteen, working a job that doesn't interest her, and living with a grieving father who only notices her when he's yelling, Terra is sure that there has to be more to life than what she's got. But when she inadvertently witnesses the captain's guard murdering an innocent man, Terra is suddenly thrust into the dark world beneath her ship's idyllic surface. As she's drawn into a secret rebellion determined to restore power to the people, Terra discovers that her choices may determine life or death for the people she cares most about. With mere months to go before landing on the long-promised planet, Terra has to make the decision of a lifetime--one that will determine the fate of her people. Phoebe North (they/them) is genderqueer.

Power Surge by Sara Codair - Erin has just realized that for the entirety of their life, their family has lied to them. Their Sight has been masked for years, so Erin thought the Pixies and Mermaids were hallucinations. Not only are the supernatural creatures they see daily real, but their grandmother is an Elf, meaning Erin isn’t fully human. On top of that, the dreams Erin thought were nightmares are actually prophecies.While dealing with the anger they have over all of the lies, they are getting used to their new boyfriend, their boyfriend's bullying ex, and the fact that they come from a family of Demon Hunters. As Erin struggles through everything weighing on them, they uncover a Demon plot to take over the world.Erin just wants some time to work through it all on their own terms, but that's going to have to wait until after they help save the world. Sara Codair (they/she) is nonbinary.

Out of Salem by Hal Schrieve - When genderqueer fourteen-year-old Z Chilworth wakes from death after a car crash that killed their parents and sisters, they have to adjust quickly to their new status as a zombie. Always a talented witch, Z can now barely perform magic and is rapidly decaying. Faced with rejection from their remaining family members and old friends, Z moves in with Mrs. Dunnigan, an elderly witch, and befriends Aysel, a loud would-be-goth classmate who is, like Z, a loner. As Z struggles to find a way to repair the broken magical seal holding their body together, Aysel fears that her classmates will discover her status as an unregistered werewolf. When a local psychiatrist is murdered in an apparent werewolf attack, the town of Salem, Oregon, becomes even more hostile to monsters, and Z and Aysel are driven together in an attempt to survive a place where most people wish that neither of them existed. Hal Schrieve (xie/hir) is a genderfluid trans man.

This is Kind of an Epic Love Story by Kacen Callender - Nathan Bird doesn’t believe in happy endings. Although he’s the ultimate film buff and an aspiring screenwriter, Nate’s seen the demise of too many relationships to believe that happy endings exist in real life.Playing it safe to avoid a broken heart has been his MO ever since his father died and left his mom to unravel—but this strategy is not without fault. His best-friend-turned-girlfriend-turned-best-friend-again, Florence, is set on making sure Nate finds someone else. And in a twist that is rom-com-worthy, someone does come along: Oliver James Hernández, his childhood best friend.After a painful mix-up when they were little, Nate finally has the chance to tell Ollie the truth about his feelings. But can Nate find the courage to pursue his own happily ever after?  Kacen Callender (they/them) is a demiboy.

Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee - Captain Kel Cheris of the hexarchate is disgraced for using unconventional methods in a battle against heretics. Kel Command gives her the opportunity to redeem herself by retaking the Fortress of Scattered Needles, a star fortress that has recently been captured by heretics. Cheris’s career isn’t the only thing at stake. If the fortress falls, the hexarchate itself might be next.Cheris’s best hope is to ally with the undead tactician Shuos Jedao. The good news is that Jedao has never lost a battle, and he may be the only one who can figure out how to successfully besiege the fortress.The bad news is that Jedao went mad in his first life and massacred two armies, one of them his own. As the siege wears on, Cheris must decide how far she can trust Jedao–because she might be his next victim. Yoon Ha Lee (he/him) is a trans man.

Second pic: Books with trans characters

Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky -  Alone at home, twelve-year-old Grayson Sender glows, immersed in beautiful thoughts and dreams. But at school, Grayson grasps at shadows, determined to fly under the radar. Because Grayson has been holding onto a secret for what seems like forever: “he” is a girl on the inside, stuck in the wrong gender’s body.The weight of this secret is crushing, but leaving it behind would mean facing ridicule, scorn, and rejection. Despite these dangers, Grayson’s true self itches to break free. Strengthened by an unexpected friendship and a caring teacher who gives her a chance to step into the spotlight, Grayson might finally have the tools to let her inner light shine.

Beautiful Music for Ugly Children by Kirstin Cronn-Mills - "This is Beautiful Music for Ugly Children, on community radio 90.3, KZUK. I'm Gabe. Welcome to my show."My birth name is Elizabeth, but I'm a guy. Gabe. My parents think I've gone crazy and the rest of the world is happy to agree with them, but I know I'm right. I've been a boy my whole life.When you think about it, I'm like a record. Elizabeth is my A side, the song everybody knows, and Gabe is my B side--not heard as often, but just as good.It's time to let my B side play.

Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin - The first thing you’re going to want to know about me is: Am I a boy, or am I a girl?Riley Cavanaugh is many things: Punk rock. Snarky. Rebellious. And gender fluid. Some days Riley identifies as a boy, and others as a girl. The thing is…Riley isn’t exactly out yet. And between starting a new school and having a congressman father running for reelection in uber-conservative Orange County, the pressure—media and otherwise—is building up in Riley’s so-called “normal” life.On the advice of a therapist, Riley starts an anonymous blog to vent those pent-up feelings and tell the truth of what it’s REALLY like to be a gender fluid teenager. But just as Riley’s starting to settle in at school—even developing feelings for a mysterious outcast—the blog goes viral, and an unnamed commenter discovers Riley’s real identity, threatening exposure. Riley must make a choice: walk away from what the blog has created—a lifeline, new friends, a cause to believe in—or stand up, come out, and risk everything.

The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson - David Piper has always been an outsider. His parents think he's gay. The school bully thinks he’s a freak. Only his two best friends know the real truth: David wants to be a girl.On the first day at his new school Leo Denton has one goal: to be invisible. Attracting the attention of the most beautiful girl in his class is definitely not part of that plan. When Leo stands up for David in a fight, an unlikely friendship forms. But things are about to get messy. Because at Eden Park School secrets have a funny habit of not staying secret for long…

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller - Sallot Leon is a thief, and a good one at that. But gender fluid Sal wants nothing more than to escape the drudgery of life as a highway robber and get closer to the upper-class—and the nobles who destroyed their home.When Sal steals a flyer for an audition to become a member of The Left Hand—the Queen’s personal assassins, named after the rings she wears—Sal jumps at the chance to infiltrate the court and get revenge.But the audition is a fight to the death filled with clever circus acrobats, lethal apothecaries, and vicious ex-soldiers. A childhood as a common criminal hardly prepared Sal for the trials. And as Sal succeeds in the competition, and wins the heart of Elise, an intriguing scribe at court, they start to dream of a new life and a different future, but one that Sal can have only if they survive.

The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson - A good friend will bury your body, a best friend will dig you back up.Dino doesn’t mind spending time with the dead. His parents own a funeral home, and death is literally the family business. He’s just not used to them talking back. Until Dino’s ex-best friend July dies suddenly—and then comes back to life. Except not exactly. Somehow July is not quite alive, and not quite dead.As Dino and July attempt to figure out what’s happening, they must also confront why and how their friendship ended so badly, and what they have left to understand about themselves, each other, and all those grand mysteries of life.

I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman -  For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare. Because that’s the problem with dreaming – eventually, inevitably, real life arrives with a wake-up call. And when Angel and Jimmy are unexpectedly thrust together, they will discover just how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be.

The Pants Project by Cat Clarke - Whoever wrote the uniform policy decided (whyyy?) that girls had to wear skirts, while boys were allowed to wear pants. Sexist. Dumb. Unfair. “Girls must wear a black, pleated, knee-length skirt.” I bet I read those words a hundred times during summer vacation. The problem wasn’t the last word in that sentence. Skirt wasn’t really the issue, not for me. The issue was the first word. Girls. Here’s the thing: I may seem like a girl, but on the inside, I’m a boy.

[chiagappy]

*shrugs* age swap// Cop Josuke and Student Rohan (when he debuted).

Imagine Josuke being a failure of a police officer, being too hot-headed and impulsive to wanting to catch criminals that he gets suspended for a few days after letting a local thief escape. This was the second time it happened and he feared that if he kept this streak going his rank might be lowered to work at a police box, not freedom, no fun just helping old ladies and folks with directions. Then his grandfather tells him he was given one more chance to work at the precinct if he finished this next job successfully: to be an undercover cop for an awards ceremony down at the opera theater. With Josuke's quick response and keen eyesight, he'll be able to spot out any trouble if it ever arises. Hopefully he'll be able to redeem himself after the latest screwup.

So Josuke takes on the job, and there he was waiting near the entrance of the opera theater nonchalantly as he pretends to be a pedestrian looking over his phone through his dark shades and casual wear with a leather jacket, his pins neatly in place as he observes the guests as they entered. He couldn't understand why anyone would cause trouble here but still he prioritize their safety and kept an eye out for the emergency exits. The evening was gone through without much disturbances, so decided to go on break early when the next officer arrived to relieve him.

He'd figure he can probably smoke a cigarette by the the stairs or something, maybe call Okuyasu about he bored he was if he wasn't working over at Tonio's, until something caught his attention not so far from him. He notices a young man being harassed by a couple thugs. Even if he was off-duty then, he knew it would have been wrong to leave after watching them so he decides intervene. Unsurprisingly the thugs were trying to extort money from him, claiming how their 'friend' owes them an amount but the younger man doesn't speak against it. Upon closer inspection, this young man looked like a student, wearing a school uniform and carrying a camera and sketchpad. There was no way this kid would have anything to do with them.

So he basically blew his cover protecting this kid, but not completely unscathed, as a dark bruised swelled up in his face and recieves minor lacerations to his arms trying to defend himself against a pocket knife one of the thugs had. Before Josuke was able to question him, he catches a glimpse of them disappearing up the stairs and into the opera house. He must have been in a hurry because Josuke notices he dropped a photograph on the ground. Josuke inspects it and sees a scene where the kid is offering a small smile away from the camera while a girl with pink hair was holding said camera, an infectious kind of smile bloomed on her face as she leaned against him. He flips the photo over and reads the words 'For Ro-chan, see I told you I can get you to smile :p." It was endearing, you can definitely tell that they had been awfully close friends for photos, yet he couldn't place his finger on it - she looked awfully familiar. He quickly brushes it off.

He'd figure he should return the photo to the kid, so he makes his way back to the opera house until he hears a horrifying scream with the cacophony of panic following shortly. He headed in immediately only to see the pink haired girl in the photo taken hostage on the stage by a lanky man threatening to blow her brains out if they didn't hand over the money from the award. The officers on duty had their guns pointed at the two, it was a stalemate as he sees the head officer overseeing this event trying to defuse the situation. In the middle of the chaos, Josuke manages to sneak closer to the stage prepared to use his gun out of his jacket to shoot the man down but someone beats him to it, and he notices the student running across the stage and struggling against the lunatic over the gun. Without thinking, Josuke quickly ran into the stage too, trying to help the student until the man's gun went off.

It all happened so fast as the cop sees the girl shielding the student, her back and dress soaked with blood while the man was sitting on the floor, shakened by the turn of events that he loses his grip on the gun. She whispers something in Rohan's ear before she died as the officers rushed to seperate them. The rest of the night becomes a blur with him arresting the criminal, investigations and evacuations proceeding, but the only thing that was on his mind was the student. He was the only lead they had on this case, yet he felt sorry for him. Apparently the winner of this award ceremony was going to a Reimi Sugimoto, age 17 for her extraordinary talent in opera singing and was going to win a check of ten grand along with a golden trophy. What was supposed to be a crowning achievement turned into a night of terror for not only the teenage girl but also for her friend who tried to save her. His name was Rohan Kishibe, a student in ---------- high school, the same age as Reimi.

Josuke hadn't seen him since the opera house, until he returned to the precinct, his grandfather asking him various questions regarding Reimi's death in one of the vacant interrogation rooms. He refused to answer them all, so Ryohei offered to give him some space before leaving the room. He asks Josuke to handle him since he'd probably relate more to someone his age ("Is 20 still being young?" "Maybe not but you sure act a brat like it sometimes so try to get him to talk. And make sure you take him something to drink!")

Confronting the teen was the last thing Josuke wanted to do, especially after what he went through (how can I relate to someone who had their friend die in their arms?) but he also knew that if he can get Rohan to talk then this will bring them one step closer to finding the other criminals who were involved. He had a hunch that the criminal hadn't planned this alone given the background check for robbery and use of illicit drugs, he seemed inexperienced to this and judging how easily he managed to slip pass the security meant he had to have accomplices. As far as suspects went, the ones involved would had been those present at the opera house that evening. It could have been anyone. He also felt there was more to this crime, especially after witnessing how Rohan's expression changed the moment Reimi whispered in his ear. Was her death predetermined? He wanted to get to the bottom of it.

He kept all this in mind, as he casually walks inside and takes the seat across to Rohan who was looking down at his hands, his anger evident yet he remained silent. Josuke asked if he wanted some water and Rohan quickly recognized that he was the officer who saved him earlier that evening. He takes the drink. He never got to thank him for it since he was in a rush to attend the award ceremony, and wouldn't plan on doing so given how the cop couldn't stop the criminal from taking Reimi away. So he was also given the silence treatment for while before Josuke returns the photo he found. That was when Rohan had spoken up about his relation to Reimi. He discovered that Rohan had in fact attended the same school as Reimi had and they were both enlisted in the same creative and performing arts program, however to attend these activities you had to have more than just talent, you needed money and connections to which they both lacked in some part. Fortunately enough, for Rohan he had his parent's support as they noticed his potential, however Reimi wasn't so fortunate. With a broken household struggling with finances, she had to juggle school and her activities with her late night job at some exclusive club downtown. She assured to him it was safe and it guaranteed large amounts of money fast- she said it was a better pay then babysitting and could help her pay for the program. So Rohan thought it was okay, but what he hadn't known was that she was fighting off a debt in addition to this that her father owed recently and had gotten involved with suspicious characters. She only ever mentioned such details vaguely but would alway carry a happy demeanor everyday not to worry her friend. Rohan never suspected of the pressure she was under and had told Rohan to "search for the black box in my school locker. You'll be able to find the one who are responsible for this," before passing away in his arms. He knew something was wrong, and he wanted to answers too.

By the time Rohan was finished telling his story, his hands were shaking with anger, mostly in lament and disappointment with himself that he couldn't protect her when she needed him, as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. Josuke reached out his hand over Rohan's reassuringly, giving it a squeeze and tells him that they will do everything in their power to bring these criminal to justice, but of course Rohan wouldn't give in that easily and joins the investigation.

(So I would like to think of teen Rohan being one cheeky bastard who seems distant and cold at first but very intelligent and will not hesitate to do or say what is on his mind in the face of danger like Josuke, but he's still quite vulnerable to losing close attachments such as Reimi. Josuke calls him a "weirdo kid" or "Ro-chan" to rile him up but he means it as a joke, while Rohan calls him "old man" or "punk officer"

As for Josuke, he's still the same caring person that jumps into action when it calls for it, really popular and truthworthy with everyone but can be playful and clever when he wants to be. He doesn't think things through sometimes and relies on sheer gut feelings and instincts when it comes down to tough choices. He would often voice out his worries over Rohan at the start trying to take the "responsible adult" approach but the more time he spends with him he realizes that he's way more mature than any teenagers he dealt with and lets him lead the investigation. He deserved the right to avenge his best friend afterall, and knew more about her than most people claimed.

And after they handle the Reimi case, Rohan was offered an internship at the police station with Josuke as his mentor. They have a rough start at first but eventually Rohan warms up to the cop and learns to trust him as they continued to solve more cases. Also Josuke is the one of the first people to push Rohan into writing Pink Dark Boy after looking through his sketchbook when it was left on Josuke's desk one day. I feel like it would be similar to Nanase in TSKR with Rohan lacking some confidence in his work and Josuke just overall praising his art skills and telling him to have a passion is a gift and gives his own story of why he became a cop. Naturally Rohan is embarrassed and defensive about at first but overall felt grateful to have met Josuke. And eventually their relationship changes into something more than just detective partners.

// This is random but think Rohan would freak out internally when he sees Josuke with five o' clock shadow, he would have pulled all nighters for several days beforehand and Rohan finds him snoozing on his desk and gets the urge to draw him with his facial hair.)

[kathyprior4200]

For His Entertainment

Art by 2p Alastor on Discord

One will soon find out that Alastor's no Radio Daddy nor lovey dovey Strawberry Pimp...

Alastor gets to rule all of Hell in an alternate universe, as a result of Charlie, Angel, and many others trusting him too easily. While everyone was busy with turf wars, sex schemes and working at the Hazbin Hotel to redeem sinners, no one seemed to fully catch onto the Radio Demon's hidden agenda until it was even too late for Lucifer.

Now with god-like power, Alastor alters Hell to his liking and plans to conquer Heaven, and even Earth.

But now he needs to entertain himself before his final conquest. He does what he does best; broadcasts his victory to an audience and lures listeners in...

...and this means you folks!

 Part 1: Let��s Sing!

 Denizens of Hell

Let’s burn it up

Yeah, check out ourselves

‘Cause you know you’re never fully dressed without a smile

 Your powers may be mighty, forte

Your clothes crocodile

But then you’re never fully dressed without a smile

 But if we stand for nothing, we’ll fall for it all

We got all we need, thanks to him

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

And if we stand for our sins, we can have it all

‘Cause if it’s real, our acts will never die

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

 Radio not

Give it all we’ve got

Yeah you can’t deny

Alastor is never fully dressed without a smile

Don’t run away and then betray

He’ll eat you alive

But then you’re never fully dressed without

   But if we stand for nothing, we’ll fall for it all

We got all we need, thanks to him

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

And if we stand for our sins, we can have it all

‘Cause if it’s real, our acts will never die

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

 Now look at us

We turn it up

We set them on fire

‘Cause you know you’re never fully dressed without a smile

We shout it out

We’re slaying now

We’re living the life

But then we’re never fully dressed without

 But if we stand for nothing, we’ll fall for it all

We got all we need, thanks to him

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

And if we stand for our sins, we can have it all

‘Cause if it’s real, our acts will never die

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

You’re never fully dressed without a smile

Part 2: What the Hell?

 Hell was a place that defied typical expectations. For one, it wasn’t the fire and brimstone torture center of the universe. People would expect there to be all sorts of horrors awaiting in the bowels of the Earth: windstorms, tar pits, rolling boulders, fiery lakes, and frozen wastelands with Satan himself trapped inside.

 Alas, it was not so. For in this Hell lay a run-down city that looked typical of a shady section of a metropolis found on Earth. It was called Pentagram City, as it was right underneath a glowing dark pink pentagram that remained stationary in the crimson sky above. The city was filled with strip clubs, drug stores, black markets in alleyways, and several sections of town that were destroyed due to turf wars. The city would look even worse when dark Archangels from Heaven would arrive once a year to purge the city of sinners at random. But no one seemed to care much about the loss of life. They mostly focused on their own greed and desires.

 Down below were demons of all shapes and sizes mulling about their everyday afterlives.

 No, not the typical red skinned horned devils you would expect to dwell there.

 These demons ranged from dragons, to hellhounds, imps, lizards, and all sorts of animal-like creatures. Some even looked remotely human. Whether they were cyclops, clowns, spiders, or human-like with extra arms, they all generally walked on two feet. Some even had the heads of different objects like TVs and weapons. They could turn into more powerful versions of themselves: their full demon forms.

 The majority of these demons were sinners who had died previously as humans and were sent to Hell as punishment. Some, like the hellhounds, imps, and Hell’s own princess were born there.

 Additionally, there was an elite group of demons who possessed powers higher than average. They often ruled their own territories, had underlings at their beck and call, and instilled fear into the weaker denizens. They were called overlords. The overlords had also been human in their past lives. The overlords’ abilities were second only to the powerful royal family of Hell: Lucifer, Lilith and their daughter Charlie.

  However, there was one overlord who was feared above all the others. From the moment he stepped into Hell, he was granted supernatural Eldritch powers on an unimaginably high scale. Teleportation, shadow manipulation, creating portals and conjuring fire were only some of the very many powers he possessed. Though polite, charming, and flamboyant at first glance, he was a master of manipulation, deceit, sorcery, and trickery.

 One of his unique skills was radio broadcasting. Seemingly in less than a day, he had mercilessly slaughtered dozens of citizens, toppled powerful overlords, and claimed territories of his own. Using his microphone staff, he would broadcast his victories, so others would know of his influence.

 Hence he was known as Alastor, the Radio Demon.

 Alastor’s appearance also made him stand out…in a very disturbing way. His attire was reminiscent of the early 1900s. His outfit consisted of a pinstriped suit, and dress coat, vermillion red in color. Thin light red stripes trailed vertically down his red dress coat. His pants were a dark wine color and his shoes were black, with red deer prints on the soles. Indeed, he had several deer features, from his black and red deer tail, to large furry tufts shaped like deer ears and even two small pitch black antlers growing from his head. His hair was mostly red with the black ends reaching slightly past his chin and on top of his tufts. Black gloves with red dots over the knuckles covered his four-fingered claws that served as his hands. A black bow tie with a red center rested over his red undershirt, which displayed a black upside down cross design.

 Perhaps his creepiest feature was his face. His chin was thin and pointed, his skin a pale gray color. An unnaturally wide sinister smile of sharp yellow teeth that fit together was nearly always present on his face. Large hypnotizing red eyes took up much of his face. A monocle rested under his right eye, connected by a thin chain.

 Besides Hell not being the typical epitome of suffering, it was also not the way it was supposed to be. Though life was chaotic in the past, the city had functioned at a typical pace.

 Not too long ago, the blonde, white-faced Princess Charlie decided to propose an idea that was downright ridiculous and outlandish to everyone else. She created the Happy Hotel as a place where sinners could learn how to be better people and hopefully, complete their own unique journeys toward redemption. Though Charlie was mocked and ridiculed, she wasn’t going to give up. A gray moth-like demon named Vaggie was her girlfriend and tough with a deadly spear. Angel Dust, a white porn-loving spider demon had been involved with drugs, turf wars, and was Hell’s number one porn star. Despite his sins, he had volunteered to help Charlie with her hotel and became her first client.

 Alastor had arrived to the hotel as well, and offered to help Charlie run her hotel so he could be entertained for a while. He summoned other demons for assistance: a little hyperactive neat-freak cyclops named Niffty, and a grumpy gambling cat named Husk who always had a bottle of alcohol in his paws. Charlie was immediately enraptured with Alastor, even dancing and singing with him whenever the occasion arose. Vaggie, of course, was suspicious of him, even more so when he appeared to hinder Vaggie and Charlie’s relationship.

 Charlie’s hope was that demons would be redeemed enough to be eligible to go to Heaven. This way, there would be less demons lost to the annual slaughter by the Archangels. Soon, she had hoped, there would only be happiness and a second chance given to everyone. In her own words and in her song, “Inside of every demon is a rainbow.” Lilith was often too busy with modeling and concerts to pay much attention to Charlie, but supported her the best she could. For obvious reasons, her father had disapproved of her idea. Having been banished from Heaven for rebelling against God, Lucifer gained his position by implementing fear and using his destructive powers. The Archangels spared the royal family in return for Lucifer letting them kill off the “common scum folk.” If demons were to leave, it could lead to a war between Heaven and Hell if the circumstances did not go well.

 Indeed, things had gone from bad to worse. It started off with Alastor causing mischief barely noticed by anyone, save for Vaggie and Husk. He had changed the hotel name to the Hazbin Hotel. It was the little things he did: igniting a brawl here, encourage a bad rating there, all while keeping up appearances and encouraging the princess to work harder toward her goal.

 It was speculated by many that Alastor actually wanted Charlie to succeed. The pretty blonde demon/angel hybrid had caught his eye when he first saw her on TV. Although he wasn’t interested in sex or romance, he did enjoy fun affectionate friendships…provided they benefited him and his goals. In fact, he was friends with many individuals, particularly Charlie, Rosie, Mimzy, Husk, and Niffty.

 After many months of hard work, battles with evil overlords, parental brawls, and drama, many demons had been successfully rehabilitated, including Vaggie, Angel Dust and his twin sister, Molly. They had defeated/humiliated the maniac snake villain Sir Pentious, outsmarted the evil fish scientist Baxter, bested the evil Vs, (Valentino, Vox, and Velvet), along with saving themselves from more angels. Angel, Molly, Crymini, and Cherri Bomb had been active fighters when they weren’t hooked on meth or doing pole dancing for the lustful crowds. Husk slowly got out of his dark shell, made amends with his past and slowly started to warm up to everyone. Niffty got delusional in her fantasies of romance, men and power as she cooked, sewed, and cleaned. Whether she was redeemed and remained cute or turned psychotic…no one really knows. Charlie and the others were ready to reach the golden heavenly gates and change their afterlives…

 Unfortunately, the angels in Heaven weren’t so keen to let any sinners enter Heaven so easily. They told Molly that she could enter as she wasn’t a demon, and Vaggie could enter if she took on penance and renounced her sins. Elite and entitled, the angels shooed Charlie, Niffty, Husk, Alastor, Angel and several others away, even sending some Archangels after them. Charlie and Lucifer blasted the angels back with their powers, saving the demon group and escaping back to Hell. But her actions caused inner mental concerns for her parents, God and the angels. God suspected that Charlie and Lucifer were trying to upstage Heaven’s duties and traditions. No matter what, Hell’s population would continue to grow, and surely the angels would be outnumbered if a war were to begin.

   Charlie’s parents were not happy that Charlie had broken up with Seviathan Von Eldritch (like Leviathan the sea monster), Helsa’s brother and member of a wealthy rival family. She and Helsa were already fierce rivals, both families competing to be the most influential in Hell. In addition, they were getting tired of Charlie’s pursuit and wanted her to conform to Hell’s standards. Being a fearsome leader was, according to her father, Charlie’s destiny. After arguing with her parents and refusing to give up, Charlie had gone to Vaggie and Alastor for comfort. Vaggie comforted her and told her the harsh reality of the situation. Still, she refused to give up, despite feeling like a failure. Charlie decided to figure out a way to negotiate with her parents and the angels. Before she could proceed further however, Alastor comforted her with his velvety announcer voice and took her arm in arm for a walk.

 The two of them sang, and danced, and even shared a kiss. Charlie felt like Alastor was redeeming himself and that things would be alright in the end.

 It was at that optimal moment, that the predatory Radio Demon pounced upon his gullible prey.

 Taken by surprise by surrounding voodoo spirits and black tentacles, Charlie fought back as much as she could. But a Creole lullaby sung by Alastor soon rendered her helpless. Charlie was kidnapped and briefly held hostage in Alastor’s lair. No rape or beating was involved, just a bunch of creepy touching and mind manipulating. He didn’t possess her but did manage to get her on his side when they were face to face with the king and queen. Alastor’s evil shadow held an angel’s spear to Charlie’s throat, a weapon capable of killing any demon. Alastor knew that his powers would not be enough against Lucifer. So he did the one thing to catch him off-guard: go for his child.

 Alastor soon proposed a deal with Lucifer and Lilith: Charlie and her hotel would be spared…in exchange for the throne. Lucifer accepted…and soon found his dark powers depleted, traveling into Alastor’s microphone staff. He and the dark spirits were now free to take over Hell, cause chaos and feast on innocent demon bodies and souls.

 It was at this moment that Alastor had a choice to make…one that could determine the fate of Hell itself. His mother was currently in Heaven, and he hadn’t seen her for decades. For a brief moment, Alastor saw Charlie and her friends struggling against the Exterminators…even Lucifer and Lilith were having a hard time. He could either give into his evil carnal desires; claiming Hell and its denizens as his own. Or he could step in, save Charlie and the others (while giving back Lucifer’s power and everyone’s free will.) He could free Husk and Niffty from their servitude to him, deeply apologize and help save the day.

 Alas, he did not.

Instead, he succumbed to his primal evil ways, losing any last trace of what little humanity he had left.

 The results were catastrophic. Though several demons and overlords joined together to try and defeat the Radio Demon, the damage had already been done. The Archangels had been a great threat to Hell. With Lilith and Lucifer’s powers gone and Charlie devastated that her plan had failed, Alastor was the only one strong enough to overtake so many Exterminators at once. Reluctantly, the other demons let Alastor take the lead…which would soon be a fatal mistake.

 Using his powerful magic, and deal-making, nearly everyone in Hell was soon under his control. Their eyes would glow demonic red with moving radio dials in place of pupils. Sinister smiles of sharp teeth would always be present on their faces. They could be moved like puppets, be summoned, and be called to perform musicals at any time. The citizens weren’t mindless zombies however; they kept some of their original traits and were more than willing to serve their new overlord. Even princess Charlie was now Alastor’s queen and best friend (though they never had sex or married). Those who refused to surrender were slowly tortured and cooked alive.

Hell’s population was now a hive-mind, and the lord of chaos was their leader.

   Part 3: Domain of the Radio Demon

 The crimson sky in Hell would often shift back and forth to a variety of colors…neon green, purple, black and then back to red. Giant red Voodoo symbols lay scattered in the sky and vibrated like dancing clouds. Radio towers loomed at every corner of Hell, jazz music constantly pulsing among the radio waves. A smug Alastor lounged in his newly conjured throne, a tall golden chair with a shadow wendigo on the back, red voodoo symbols decorating the sides and a pair of black antlers fastened at the very top. Black tentacles slithered everywhere like dark snakes.

 All the drug stores and strip clubs had vanished. Valentino, the formerly powerful porn studio owner, sat helplessly as his studio burned to the ground, thanks to shadowy dragons breathing fire from their mouths. Pentagram City now resembled New Orleans in the early 1900s. A demonic version of Mardi Gras was celebrated for four months of the year, complete with the typical yellow, green and purple costumes, masks and decorations. The parade was the same as on Earth, save for the animated voodoo dolls that ran around fighting each other or poking at demons with black pitchforks. The stock market was obviously crashed, as it was Hell, but even more so now. It was stuck like the 1929 crash, resulting in tons of crying demon orphans roaming the streets with nowhere to go. The demons wore suits, dapper dresses, top hats and other stylish attire against their will.

All the tea and sweets shops were gone, replaced with coffee shops and stores selling deer meat. Demon farmers were forced to burn all the strawberries they could find. Imps from the Immediate Murder Professionals were paid to enter Earth and bring game for Alastor to hunt in Hell. On occasion, the imps would capture lone humans wandering around on Earth. Once they were brought back, Alastor would break their bones, strangle them, skin them alive, or shoot them…all while broadcasting their screams on the air. Whether they were men or women didn’t matter to him. He never harmed any children or elderly individuals. The humans’ agonized yells and cries for help were music to his ears. He almost enjoyed it as much as eating them.

 In Alastor’s previous life, there was a cult following of macabre-loving listeners who would tune in and listen to his grisly descriptions of murders over cheery music. Although in Hell, Alastor didn’t have to worry about keeping his work secret from the public. In fact, it was the only thing that was broadcast, both on radio and on TV.

 Now, the Radio Demon was happily singing his favorite song before finishing another broadcast about his carnage. He would sing it at the end of every session, his microphone staff lit up.

  “Hey, hobo man, Hey Dapper Dan

You’ve both got your style

But Brother, you’ve never fully dressed without a smile!”

 “Your clothes may be Beau Brummelly

They stand out a mile

But Brother you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

 “Who cares what they’re wearing

On Main Street or Saville Row

It’s what you wear from ear to ear

And not from head to toe that matters”

 “So, Senator, So Janitor

So long for a while

Remember you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

The Hazbin Hotel was now a base for warrior demons walking through portals to invade Heaven. The remaining Archangels still had to be defeated, and the demons had been fitted with armor, spears and bursts of dark power, allowing them to fly and resist attacks. One of the portals revealed a section of blue sky and white clouds. To protect themselves from the sunlight, some of the shadow spirits embedded themselves into living demons’ bodies when they traveled to Heaven.

 Alastor grinned, Lucifer’s pointed black crown now resting on his head of red and black hair. Charlie wore her mother’s crown and sat in an equally sized throne next to him, the throne decorated with voodoo symbols and red apples. She had been gifted with a trident with an apple in the middle of it, the silver prongs turning red in color at the tips. She also had a conjured microphone staff, this one white and pink with an apple in the center. Charlie wore a fancy red dapper dress, black dress shoes, and a gold necklace with a ruby apple surrounded by two little golden antlers arching from it. Her eyes were red like his and her straight dark horns jutted from her blonde hair.

 Alastor leaned his face toward Charlie who smiled and blushed.

“Wow, Alastor,” she exclaimed enthusiastically, “I always imagined that Hell could be a better place for everyone, free of torture and yearly exterminations. But I never thought it could be anything like this.”

The couple watched as several voodoo spirits rode on skeletal horses and waving their harpoons at oncoming Archangels. A brown voodoo doll was hoisted up in the air by a dark gray demon wearing a cowboy hat. With a sickening slash, the doll sliced off the Archangel’s black feathery wings with a sharp knife. The robotic assassin fell to the ground, where it was trampled to death by a large cyclops waving a club.

Five Exterminators flew through the portal by the Hazbin Hotel, dodging poisoned arrows being shot from bat-like demons flapping in the air. A few pale-skinned demons down on the street had been heartless soldiers during the World War. They shouted in German and rode black tanks while firing at the angels from old bayonets. The soldiers possessed many animal-like traits, but they all had been human in their past lives. They were everywhere…Nazis, Soviets, Muslim terrorists, European explorers and conquers, unaware of their influence on third world countries and poorer communities. Russians, Americans, Germans, Japanese, French…all former enemies on Earth were now united in a brainwashed haze.

Alastor waved his hand and several soldiers and Archangels were flown backwards, crashing into brick walls so hard that their heads were crushed in a bloody mess on impact.

Charile’s smile fell and her eyes widened, a trace of her former self, rising to the surface. For a brief moment, her large orbs turned their former yellow. Alastor stood up and placed his hand on her shoulder.

“No need to get upset, doll-face. Death is a part of life…or the afterlife in this case. This is Hell, after all. There’s bound to be suffering and loss of life at some point. Besides, they were bad people, who deserved what they got. A lose-lose for them.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well it was either a painful final death or being under slavery for a while. To tell you the truth, I personally think there are worse things than death.”

Charlie stared out into the horizon, where plumes of smoke swirled upwards toward the crimson colored clouds.

Charlie answered, as flickers of memories flashed in her mind. “Like all the violence and hate that goes on down here. How sinners never get a second chance to get better.”

Alastor shook his head. “I was thinking of the loss of free will. When you are bound by the rules of society and you never get a chance to express yourself. When people are so quick to label you as a freak, or a psycho, or a madman. It’s all because they don’t understand what it means to get a thrill out of life. Even if the thrill involves killing and eating people…if it’s a way to get food and relive stress and boredom, why not keep going? Sinners and demons and humans alike, living their pathetic greedy lives…I’ve done them a favor by granting them their demise.”

Charlie’s eye flickered from red to yellow and back again.

“But you’re a sinner too. And so are your friends. Why set them to this fate?”

Alastor narrowed his eyes and summoned his red microphone staff in his right hand.

“Well, ‘this fate’ as you so put it, is the fate they chose for themselves. You saw for yourself how they shook my hand, one by one. I offered them anything and everything to make their lives in Hell more enjoyable. It was the least I could do, me being a gentleman.”

He spread out his arms. “Look how happy they are!”

Charlie glance over toward her friend Vaggie, who bore a grin of sharp teeth that was very unlike the angry, aggressive, protective woman she was before. Her Hispanic voice and accent sounded like it was being played through a radio. She let out a laugh as she struck an Archangel in the chest with her harpoon. Angel Dust was relaxing and looking through a book of dad jokes instead of browsing through a porn magazine. (He had cried when he was forced to burn them before he got possessed.) Niffty dashed around, cleaning up corpses that littered the streets. She even took the time to mop up the rest of the spilled guts. Even Husk, normally grumpy, was grinning ear to ear as he sat and gambled with a few other demons sitting at an outdoor table near a bar.

Charlie was appalled. “How dare you possess my friends like that?!”

“Our friends,” he corrected. “I didn’t kill them, and I do appreciate their company.”

“No, no, that can’t be right…” A pureness inside of her had made herself feel lighter, her head clearer than it had been in days. Then she spoke a thought that she had kept bottled up for too long.

“This is all wrong.”

  Part 4: Sinister Plan

 Just then, a faint shuffling of steps came from behind Charlie’s throne. Charlie glanced behind her, wondering what could be making that sound. Alastor closed his eyes and sniffed the air. “Oh my, this is going to be fun.”

He tapped his microphone and the red eye in the center glowed red. A halo of light emitted from around the top of the staff.

“Hello,” he said with a little laugh, speaking into it. “Is this thing on?”

“I heard you loud and clear…again!” came the radio voice from the microphone.

“Greetings demons and demonesses of Hell! It’s your favorite radio host, Alastor, live on the air! I’m here with my dear queen Charlie and one of her friends, Angel Dust. Hell’s previous porn star has been feeling a bit…under the weather. Let’s get his head cleared up, shall we?”

Glancing at Angel Dust, he snapped his fingers. The red from the white spider demon’s eyes faded, and his eyes turn their normal colors: a black right eye and white left eye with pink pupils. Angel Dust shook his head.

“Man that must’ve been one horrible trip. How the fuck did I get out here?”

Angel rubbed his eyes and looked around at the peculiar version of Hell… the psychedelic colors and symbols in the sky, Alastor sitting on his throne, Lucifer’s throne in pieces nearby…and Charlie staring at him with concern.

Angel sighed in frustration out loud. “I knew taking that extra meth was a bad idea. Now I’m tripping into another trip. Is this double Hell?”

“Angel, it’s me, Charlie!” Charlie called.

“Hey there, babe,” he said, using a friendly nickname. “What are you doing over there? You look very different. And what’s the strawberry radio pimp doing up on that chair?”

Alastor’s eyes flared in warning.

“No time to explain,” Charlie said, urgency in her voice. “He’s freed you for some reason, but you gotta get out of here!”

Alastor cleared his throat. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Angel raised his eyebrows. The shuffling from Charlie’s throne started up again, followed by the sound of oinks. A small pink potbellied pig strolled out from behind the throne after looking around.

Angel’s eyes lit up. He held out his pink gloved hands.

“Fat Nuggets! Come here, boy!”

With a happy snort, the pig bounded on all four stubby legs into Angel’s lower arms.

“Aww, my pudgy little pig! So glad I found you.” He nuzzled his pet as the pig gave him a friendly lick on his furry cheek. His pink curly tail wagged as Angel tenderly rubbed his flappy ears. A genuine smile crossed his face, followed by a glare directed toward Alastor.

“I’m not gonna let that red-haired handsome creep get a hold of you. We gotta get back to the hotel. So nice…and strange of him to free me like that. I knew that he was hiding some of his feelings toward me.”

Charlie’s eyes widened and she pointed behind Angel with a shaky finger.

“Like I said,” Angel continued, fluffing up his chest. “Even the weird guys can’t get enough of this lovely body!”

  “Uh Angel…” Charlie gulped. “I think I know why he freed you…”

A faint slithering sound came from behind him followed by a low growl.

Angel slowly looked behind him, and was met face to face with a leering white mouth and plain white eyes against darkness.

“Run!” Charlie cried, as tentacles materialized from behind her and wrapped tightly around her waist.

Angel brought out his gun in two hands and fired rapidly at the shadow apparition in front of him. He nestled Fat Nuggets in some of his other hands.

The black tentacles caught on fire as Charlie burned them off her. Thin shadow imps flew around her like bats, as she showed them away with a burst of orange fire from her mouth. The shadows shrieked and vanished…but more kept coming.

Alastor’s shadow look-alike held a dark fork and knife in his hands.

“Oh no you don’t, hungry fucker!” Angel yelled, firing more blasts. His fur turned black and he grew several inches taller. The shadow was temporarily blinded by the flashes of light, and was being pushed back. The shadow jumped, arms spread out before Angel dodged out of the way. The shadow vanished into the ground, before shooting back up. Tentacles grabbed hold of Angel’s multiple arms, and Fat Nuggets slipped from his hand.

“Uh oh!” Charlie yelped. Charlie raced toward the pig to help him but soon fell through a small round portal, decorated with a red pentagram and symbols. A second portal appeared in the air, Charlie falling through…

…and landing right into Alastor’s arms.

“Oops,” he said, a mischievous look in his eyes. He caught her by holding her side and her legs with his hands. “Looks like Charlie’s falling for me once again!”

Audience laughter emitted from the microphone.

Charlie turned red in the face and scrambled out of his arms.

The pork pig ran as fast as his stubby legs could carry him.

“Here piggy piggy,” Alastor crooned in a sing-song voice.

Angel Dust broke free of the black tentacles holding him down. He jumped high in the air and leapt toward Alastor. He rammed into a large emerging tentacle and slid down to the ground. One tentacle curled around his waist, a smaller one around his neck.

“Choking me, are ya?” Angel wheezed with a wink. “Where’s the deeper pressure? Hahaha, that the best ya got?”

The spider suddenly yelped as he was flung high into the air by the large dark tendril.

“Whoooaaaa!”

Angel flailed in the air beginning his decent. A second tendril caught him around three of his arms just before he hit the ground. Circus music played from the microphone.

Then he was thrown into the air again, before being caught again by four tendrils woven tightly together. He was tossed again several more times before being lowered to the ground. The music stopped.

“Whew, fuck!” Angel exclaimed, catching his breath. “And I thought getting high was exhilarating…but it’s not as much fun as really going high...Hey!”

A large tentacle wrapped tightly around Angel, causing him to stumble to the ground. Several more tendrils assisted with pinning down his arms and legs.

“Oooh yeah, gotta love me some hentai,” Angel grinned with a moan, lust in his eyes. His fur turned back to white. “Tighter, daddy!” His chest fluffed up and he spread out his legs.

Alastor reeled back in disgust, hiding his revulsion with his usual smile. “You really are a sick perverted fellow, aren’t you?”

Angel laughed with a wink, “I’d love to catch you in my web someday.”

A pause.

Surprisingly, Alastor chuckled in reply. “I wouldn’t start laughing just yet.” He pointed off in the distance.

Angel Dust turned to look, and saw a gut-wrenching sight.

Alastor’s shadow was snickering as he held Fat Nuggets in one of his dark hands. Charlie was still fighting off the horde of hovering spirits surrounding her.

“It was quite entertaining distracting you,” Alastor added.

Rage flashed in Angel’s eyes. “I’m gonna kill you, you bastard!” He struggled against his bonds, Charlie helping him get free by burning the tentacles away.

The shadow vanished into the ground and reappeared beside Alastor. He gently dropped Fat Nuggets into his gloved hands.

Charlie and Angel gasped.

“Thank you, dear fellow,” he grinned at his shadow counterpart. “I was getting pretty hungry.” He stared darkly at Angel. “My, how the tables have turned…”

He ran his slender fingers across the pig’s back, the animal squealing in protest.

“Let my baby boy go!” Angel yelled, teeth bared. “I’ll fucking tear you to pieces and shit on them for good measure!”

The Radio Demon reared his head back with a malevolent cackle.

“You are quite the fun, effeminate fellow, Angel! It’s always a pleasure to mess around with my fellow sinners. Now I believe… it’s time for my snack.”

He spoke in a low voice through his staff. “Brace yourselves folks, because I’m going to savor this porky morsel right here!”

Fat Nuggets squirmed and squealed and shrieked with all his might.

Charlie breathed a blast of scarlet fire from her mouth, but Alastor caught the flames with his hand. The flames turned an eerie green and molded to fit inside his palm.

“Thanks for the heat!” he called out.

Fat Nuggets wailed in protest as Alastor held him by the scruff of the neck over the flames.

Angel dashed toward the Radio Demon again, only for two tendrils to crash into his gut and send him soaring backwards. He stood up on shaky legs.

The pig’s screams echoed throughout the streets. A shrill sizzling sound and the smell of smoke made Angel’s fur stand up. The pig’s pink skin glowed in a slight ember tone, turning red, black burns creeping up underneath his belly. Alastor’s fingers remained unharmed within the emerald colored flames.

Tears flowed down Angel’s cheeks as he let out an ear-shattering wail that caused the asphalt below him to crack. Angel and Charlie watched helplessly as the creature continued to be cooked. Off to the side, the pig’s round shadow was impaled by a black fork. Alastor’s shadow opened his mouth, closing around the shadow pig’s body. Swallowing his meal whole, the shadow fork came back out, empty.

The smell of copper, fire, and burnt pork wafted in the air. The physical charred pig gasped for breath as he stared at Angel one last time with wide pleading black eyes.

“No, no, FUCK, NO!”

Angel reached out his gloved hands fruitlessly toward his beloved pet, the black tentacles stretching out to meet his movements like thick rubber bands.

The green flames vanished, smoke rising from Fat Nuggets’ hide. He was moved closer to a wide open mouth with rows of sharp yellow teeth. Angel and the pig met each other’s eyes, staring deep into each other’s souls before…

CRUNCH!

Yellow fangs sank deep into Fat Nuggets’ lower neck. Specks of blood shot off haphazardly into the air. Fat Nuggets let out one last croaking squeal before his body went limp. Bits of red and pink muscle tore off, lodging between fangs before vanishing. Pools of dark red blood were lapped away by a long lavender-pink tongue. The rest of the pig soon vanished inside the Radio Demon’s mouth before the sharp canines closed. The sounds of chewing were soon followed by the inevitable swallow.

Alastor’s eyes glowed red, his voice turning lower in satisfaction and pleasure.

“AHHHHAHAHA… that was absolutely delicious!” He conjured a red napkin and whipped away the remaining blood around his mouth.  “Finally got a taste of some yummy fresh bacon.” He looked at Angel and chuckled.  “And after all those times you kept your pet away from me…HA! It was only a matter of time before I got my revenge.”

 Angel sank to his knees and sobbed. “Fucking murderous bag of deer shit! You’re gonna go to a Hell even worse than this one, when I’m through with you…”

 “Not if I can change that,” he replied.

 Alastor waved his staff and an invisible force hit Angel in the face. He winced and clutched his forehead, letting out an estranged yell. He appeared to be struggling inside his head, trying to ward off the invading magic seeping into his brain. After several minutes, his eyes soon turned red once more, his six arms going stiff at his side. The red radio dials replaced his pink pupils at the same time an evil smile was displayed across his white face.

 “Monster!” cried Charlie, looking from Angel to Alastor.

“I don’t see what the problem is,” said Alastor with a shrug. “Our friends are basically the same people,” Alastor said. “It’s just their thoughts and behaviors have been altered to better suit my tastes. It makes ruling Hell much easier, and it’s a necessary precaution. I have a fearsome reputation to keep up, and it must be known by everyone.”

A long repressed thought emerged into her mind in a flash. “Where are my parents?”

“Safe and snug in the voodoo spirits’ domain, separate and powerless, of course. I’m still trying to figure out how to fully control angels, but in regards to your mother…”

He let out a sneer, “…It wasn’t too hard getting inside her head.”

Charlie imagined Alastor flirting with Lilith and inwardly gagged.

“You…you creep!” Charlie yelled, shaking her head, her eyes returning to their normal golden hue. She glanced over toward the Hazbin Hotel in the distance, memories starting to appear.

“I have to get back to the hotel…” she thought. “I’m supposed to help redeem sinners. What am I doing sitting on a throne without everyone dancing happily in Heaven? I have to figure something out to stop him…my people need my help.”

 Part 5: Demonic Possession

Charlie jogged off rapidly down the steps and across the street. She kept the old Hazbin Hotel building in her line of sight, the building silhouette a beacon in a sea of flashing neon colors illuminating from the sky. One by one, as if on cue, her friends slowly turned their heads to look at her. Vaggie walked zombie-like toward Charlie and held out her spear in front of her. Vaggie’s right eye was red and glowing, her left eye missing behind her hair and an ugly red x. Angel Dust, also smiling, spread out all six of his arms, two of them holding a gun. His legs were slightly bent. He appeared to be in a position to pounce, like a spider who had spotted a nearby fly. Husk arched his back and bared his yellow fangs, while Niffty burst harmlessly into flames with a giggle nearby.

All stared unblinkingly at the princess, sharp fangs showing.

“Guys, it’s me, Charlie!” cried Charlie, stopping in her tracks and holding out her hands. “Alastor’s using you. You have to let me pass! That’s an order!”

Alastor chuckled darkly from behind, inching closer to her.

“My dear, I’m afraid it’s not going to work. Their souls are firmly bond to me. Only I can free them.”

“Then let them go!”

“Heheheheheheh…Why would I bother doing that? That would only hinder my progress and end goals. Which reminds me…”

He appeared in front of Charlie, materializing from shadow. Charlie’s horns grew and she conjured red fire around her. Her eyes widened and her sclera turned pink. Before he could speak, she yelled and unleashed a powerful blast of force that knocked the Radio Demon back. Niffty rushed at her at full speed. She landed several fast punches to Charlie’s chest, orange and red flames battling for control. Charlie tossed Niffty to the side, being sure she landed in a soft patch of dried grass off to the side. Charlie then shot out a volley of fire toward Alastor, who blocked it with a tower of black tentacles that rose from the ground in front of him. A blast rang out from Angel’s gun and Charlie felt something hit her leg.

“Shit!” she seethed.

She reached down with one hand and pulled out a dart. Charlie recognized the small trident symbol on the top.

“Playing with Baxter’s toys? That’s not like you, Angel!”

A numbing sensation instantly crept up her leg. She shook it, trying to make the feeling go away. Heavy spots tap dancing along her leg and foot…no other clear way for her to describe the feeling.

Charlie shot another blast of fire toward Alastor, but Vaggie swiped it away with her weapon.

“Last time I remember, you were the one protecting me from him!” Charlie exclaimed. “You have to snap out of it.”

Vaggie’s eyes glowed red, her stretched out smile plastered on her face. “Alastor’s the one protecting us from the Archangels. He helped save us from Sir Pentious, Vox, and Valentino, remember? He’s helped out with the hotel as well. You can protect and lead us, too. Just let him help you.”

“No!” Panic and desperation was flowing through her now. She would not let herself be possessed again. She walked over to Vaggie, leg shaking. “Remember our relationship, Vaggie. You’re my girlfriend. I’m sorry if I didn’t listen to your warnings about him before. We have a chance to make things right again.”

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she held them back.

Vaggie smiled, “Yes, I am your girlfriend, if that’s what you would like...”  

Her voice was monotone. Charlie held onto a brief glimmer of hope…

“And I know we’ll both be happy together under Alastor’s reign.”

“Please,” Charlie begged. “Come back to me. Is this what you really want?”

“I just want you to be happy,” Vaggie said. “With or without me.”

The real Vaggie would’ve gutted Alastor right then and there if he had laid a finger on Charlie.

Charlie tenderly cupped one of her gray cheeks. “I want to be happy, too. Just…”

She wiped away a stray tear.

“Listen to me. Stop fighting, please.”

Vaggie’s wide grin never left her face. “Why are you crying, Charlie? Let me see your beautiful smile.”

Charlie gasped softly and after a moment, stepped back. Her numbing leg wobbled underneath her.

Niffty and Angel walked over to her.

“Let’s put on our happy faces and kick some…Archangel butt!” Angel added. “Crying’s unacceptable!” His usual brash Italian-like accent was warped by an underlying radio-sounding effect.

Charlie knew Angel had tried to use a swear word in his sentence. Angel would never hold back on cussing.

Niffty giggled, flames vanishing from her body. “My, my, what a mess you’re in! Tear and sadness just won’t do!” Even her chipper, rapid voice was meshed with glitchy static sounds. It was almost like Alastor was speaking though each of them. A fiery pentagram surrounded Charlie’s feet. “Everyone just stay back!” Charlie was about to run, when Husk leaped and grabbed her arms from behind.

“Husk, let go of me!” Charlie yelled.

 A brief silence.

 Click, clack. Click, clack. Click, clack.

 A rhythmic tap, tap, taping of shoes grew closer.

Husk’s furry face was the epitome of a cat high on catnip. “Being happy would be purrfect for you,” he crooned, a low mechanical drone following seconds after the cat demon spoke.

Husk was never happy. And he certainly did not care for any dad jokes. The fiery pentagram vanished.

“Listen and obey, darling,” hummed a familiar voice.

In the blink of an eye, Alastor was standing in front of her. He leaned down slightly.

“As I was going to say before that interrupting fight…that angel part of you keeps trying to resist my power. It’s been happening several times each month.”

He briefly cupped her chin with his gloved hand.

“But no matter. Once all the angels have been defeated and Earth becomes more accessible, perhaps I’ll gain enough power to keep you in check…permanently.”

Tears sprang from Charlie’s eyes. She struggled harder against Husk, but her arms were held firmly in place. A lone black tentacle was securely wrapped around her legs, moving toward her arms. “No… no, stop it! Stop!”

 With a free hand, she slapped Alastor hard across the face.

Turning his head back around, Alastor dug his sharp nails into Charlie’s bare arm, leaving several cuts. Her arms were quickly pinned behind her.

Fresh blood oozed from the cuts, Charlie wincing in pain.

Alastor grinned, dipping in his claws a bit deeper. He brought his fingers toward his mouth and licked off Charlie’s blood from his fingers.

Coppery and sickly sweet.

“Oh my. Your demonic blood is just as sweet as your personality and looks.”

Disgust filled Charlie’s gut, and she tried not to faint.

 Charlie took a breath. She had to escape.

Charlie swore and opened her mouth in a fearsome demonic roar. But Alastor remained unfazed.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he said in a sing-song voice. “There’s no need for that, my dear.” He lifted up the corners of her mouth with his fingers, Charlie growling once he let go. “If I wanted to, I could’ve killed you and all your loved ones. Just like that. But then again, it’d be pointless to do so to a charming demon belle with your level of influence. Besides, life would be soooo boring without you and our lovely friends around to entertain me! Your plan may have failed, but I assure you, you’re no failure.”

He then spoke almost in a whisper. “After all, who knew you’d play a big part in The Radio Demon’s success?”

Alastor’s black antlers grew slightly taller, arching out to the sides. His red eyes rolled back into his head and turned black, moving red dials appearing in the center. He closed his hand and several glistening drops of blood fell to the ground. The old scratching static-like sounds of a radio intermingled with his low chuckle. He lifted up her pale chin with his microphone staff and spoke in a low demonic voice, “Smile my dear, and look into my eyes.”

Charlie squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lip.

Alastor’s voice rose back up to normal as he began to sing.

“You have a dream, you wish to tell, about happiness and harmony in Hell…”

Charlie’s breathing quickened as jazz music began to play not too far away. The music waved and spiraled in her head, overpowering her thoughts of resistance. She breathed deeply and willed herself not to listen to his singing. Her thoughts soon drowned away as his velvety voice continued. Her eyes slowly opened…

“I’m here to help you out, we’ll go the extra mile…but you’re never fully dressed without a smile.”

The world around her turned red as she stared into Alastor’s eyes. Voodoo symbols meshed with static and fractured bits of reality. A lone elongated shadow with the appearance of a small male deer, seeped harmlessly into her bare shoulder, traveling through her body before fading away in distorted specks. Charlie’s insides felt ice cold, as if some of the warm energy coursing through her core had been sucked away. Husk released the shivering princess and stepped back with the others. Charlie’s mind went blank, hands falling at her sides, her black pupils rolling back into her head. Her sclera turned from yellow to crimson red. A wide fanged smile appeared on her face as the strange cold feeling vanished.

“That’s much better,” Alastor smiled as he reverted back to his regular form.

Alastor held out his two gloved hands and Charlie took them. They moved their legs and bodies in sync as the jazz music grew louder.

“Alright, listeners, it’s time for a brand new song! Feel free to dance and sing along!” A band of shadow spirits were playing jazz instruments as they appeared from a crater in the ground. Together, the two of them danced and sang a demonic duet as the battle continued in the distance.

“A one, a two, and here we go…”

    Part 6: Hazbin Madness

 (“Hazbin Madness/Alastor’s Army”)

 (Alastor) “Among the flames and gore

In Hell’s city galore

Radio waves spread wide”

 “We dance along the floor

We’ll show you what’s in store

Here, there’s no place to hide”

 (Alastor) “Welcome to my Heaven in Hell

(Charlie) Where demons never see the light

Shadow spirits: (Alright!)

(Alastor) With my lovely demon belle

(Charlie) And my gentleman of might

(Both) The realms will all be ours tonight!”

Shadow spirits: (That’s right!)

 (Both) “Come on out and have some fun

Taking out souls one by one

We’re back in style, dressed with a smile

Embrace our rule, you cannot run”

Shadow spirits: (No one can run from the Radio Demon)

 (Chorus)

“Come down

(Come down!)

Don’t turn back around

Beware the Hazbin Madness

Our demon army’s abound

 Come down

(Come down!)

Go smile and play

But don’t fight against us

Lest your life slips away” (Hey!)

 (Charlie) “My life was changed by a twist of fate

(Alastor) My heart was battered by gnawing hate

(Charlie) Those who begin with a fresh clean slate

(Alastor) Won’t know their own failure until it’s too late”

 (Alastor) “Welcome to my Heaven in Hell

(Charlie) Where demons never see the light

Shadow spirits: (Alright!)

(Alastor) With my lovely demon belle

(Charlie) And my chaos lord of might

(Both) The realms will all be ours tonight!”

Shadow spirits: (That’s right!)

 (Shadow Spirits and possessed characters, clapping)

“Hey, hey, say no more!

We follow our overlord Alastor!

Hey, hey, say no more!

We follow our overlord Alastor!

Hey, hey, say no more!

We follow our overlord Alastor!

Hey, hey, say no more!

We follow our overlord Alastor!”

 (Chorus)

“Come down

(Come down!)

Don’t turn back around

Beware the Hazbin Madness

Our demon army’s abound

 Come down

(Come down!)

Go smile and play

But don’t fight against us

Lest your life slips away” (Hey!)

  The two rulers waltzed through a puddle of blood, sang over the screams of demons being slaughtered by a few brave Archangels. The possessed crowd ran off back into battle. The Radio Demon spun Charlie around in a circle, soon stopping her fall. Alastor’s staff was bathed in red light, and a beam of white shone from the eye in the center of the microphone, providing a spotlight for them.  

 Soon, the song was over and the dance finished with a demonic Charlie in Alastor’s arms. Alastor leaned in and kissed Charlie softly on the lips. Blushes crept over her pale cheeks. They soon parted.

 Charlie laughed in delight. “Oh Alastor, that was so much fun! Can we dance some more?” Neither of them minded the splatters of blood on their fancy outfits nor the sound of hell flies buzzing around dead demons littering the streets.

Alastor clicked his tongue. “As entertaining that would be, there’s still some work to be done. Those Archangels and rival demons aren’t going to kill themselves.”

“I’ve never been to Heaven or Earth before,” Charlie mentioned, eyes shining. “I’ll get to see what those places are like, right?”

“Indeed you will,” said Alastor. “Those who try and stop us will fall down to the inferno of failure. Soon, we’ll get the chance to rule several realms, and look forward to endless entertainment! Who knows, you might get a chance to meet an angel or a mortal…at least, those who survive long enough.”

“And we can celebrate our victory with dancing and good food,” Charlie added, licking her lips.

“Niffty and I can whip up all sorts of dishes. Coffee and eggs for breakfast, Jambalaya for lunch, demon and deer meat for dinner…”

“Are there any specialties?” she asked.

Alastor grinned and nodded. “Human flesh.”

He let out a maniacal laugh as Charlie and her friends joined in.

Alastor spoke into his lit up microphone. “Thank you again for tuning in, fellow sinners! I’ll see you next time on your one and only station, 66.6 FM. And remember, you’re never fully dressed without a smile!”

The microphone blinked off.

Part 7: Angels and Demons

 After the other demons had their evil moments of fun, they casually went back to doing their own things. Charlie and Alastor walked back, arm in arm toward the thrones.

 “Hmm,” Alastor thought out loud. “I wonder how the denizens of Heaven are faring during this tremulous time.”

“Let’s go and find out!” Charlie said.

With a snap of his fingers, they were in front of the flaming portal by the Hazbin Hotel. They stepped through the hole and onto a white fluffy cloud. There was the city of Heaven, perched in the clouds with a white halo of light around the outside. From a distance, it looked like a ringed planet.

 Usually, Heaven would be a pristine, orderly utopia with dancing angels, bustling city-goers and choirs singing “holy, holy, holy!” in sweet voices. It would usually be quite peaceful, the complete antithesis of Hell. It would certainly be the ideal place that Charlie had imagined it would be back when she proposed the idea of sinners getting redeemed.

 But not today…pandemonium was everywhere.

 Archangels with dark feathery wings flew at top speed, slicing off the bat-like wings of large scaly creatures and dragons. The golden temples, platinum office buildings, and other structures had been set on fire by a rogue band of hellhounds clad in spiky collars, leather jackets, and torn pants. The gems in the walls had been taken out and looted by shadowy bandits. A flash of grinning teeth were shown behind the dark hoods as the demon robbers inspected their prizes and jumped back toward Hell. A pale-faced angel scurried away in fright from two imps waving chainsaws in the air.

One spire made of glass toppled down onto the solar-paneled street, shattering into a dozen pieces.

“In just a matter of moments, this world will also be mine…erm, ours,” Alastor quickly added. His microphone lit up and he broadcast the battle as it continued on.

 The Archangels Gabriel, Michael, Raphael, and Uriel fired beams of heavenly light at the shadow demons, causing them to explode. But thanks to Alastor’s power, fortified further by Lucifer’s power he had obtained, more shadows kept sprouting up like wicked weeds.

“That demon down there…” Raphael pointed downward and looked at his brethren. He was a healer angel with long brown hair, a white face, a pair of white feathery wings and earthly green robe over his shoulders and body. “He has the powers of our fallen brother Lucifer. I can sense angelic energy in his staff weapon.”

“May I remind you that Lucifer’s no angel,” Michael stated, brows furrowed. He had thick red curly hair, a white face with the red blushes, plus yellow eyes. He was dressed in blue armor, with gold shoulder pads, a red Christian cross symbol on his breastplate and a winged gold helmet on his head. His armored boots were golden. He unsheathed his sword Excalibur, a powerful weapon with a blade capable of going aflame. It had a gold curved hilt with a red gem in the center. “He’s a demon and a traitor. Our Lord’s creation, Man is indeed, quite flawed and their lives are…shall I say…infantile when compared to ours.”

“Don’t go down the same pride-driven path as Lucifer,” Uriel warned him as the battle continued around them. Uriel had short blonde hair, white wings, a thin white face, a white suit and tie to go with his plain look. He could have easily blended into the white puffy clouds. A demon crashed into Michael’s silver shield and he swatted the demon away with a burst of strength. “Uriel continued. “He deemed humans to be inferior simpletons made to serve angels and perish. Do you want to get banished to Hell and meet the damned?”

“Look at this place!” Michael exclaimed, slashing a demon in half with his sword. “It’s practically Hell already! Thanks to those imps and their portal-creating abilities, all these cretins have invaded our realm!” Michael briefly transformed into a dark Exterminator and swooped through the air, showing no mercy to nearby demons. He transformed back and stood by the others.

“I don’t think that’s the whole story,” Gabriel added. He had long curly blonde hair, a white face, yellow eyes, and wore a robe of light blue. “I think that red demon was somehow able to use his powers to create a portal to Heaven.”

Gabriel took a breath, disintegrating a snake demon in a flash of light.

“But, back to the topic before…God must have had a good reason to create mortals. They were created in His image, after all. They were created to reproduce…to pass on their traditions and knowledge to future generations. God needs a variety of living beings to revere him. Unlike us, Angels, mortals always change and evolve.”

“Yes,” Uriel responded. He looked around in worry at the carnage. “This was what God was afraid of…he was worried that Hell’s overpopulation would get so bad that there were be no room left, even in Hell. Well, that’s not exactly the case here… however…he also feared Lucifer would seek revenge and create an army to try and take His place.”

“But I thought Lucifer had made a pact with Him and us,” Michael said, shooting blasts of fire at a horde of demons below. “Lucifer agreed not to set foot in Heaven again. He rules Hell for crying out loud! And, if I can recall, he also has a wife and a child to look after.”

“Yes, well, a common thing for a human to do,” Uriel said. “We angels aren’t encouraged to mate and procreate. Not that we could, even if we wanted to.” A hint of longing was etched in his voice.

He briefly leaned down slightly and set his golden eyes on a red demon woman, the lady flaunting much of her bosoms and chest while blowing up buildings.

Gabriel sharply pulled Uriel back. “Forbidden,” he growled in a warning tone.

“Sorry.” A blush crept to his cheeks.

“But yes,” Michael continued. “Lucifer would stay in Hell, and once a year, the Exterminators would be sent to eliminate citizens at random to keep the population in check. What a brilliant idea. Though, I have to admit, Samael’s blood-lust concerns me.”

An Exterminator with ragged long red hair and red eyes stabbed several demons at one with two harpoons in his hands. He burst into flames and sent a group of demons out into dark space. He conjured a silver whip and lashed several times at a green horned dark haired demon woman holding a knife and wearing a snakeskin dress. She screamed and fled, but she soon was brutally choked to death at his hands.

Raphael gulped and pondered in thought, landing a hard uppercut to a yellow demon shaped like a large worm. The creatures shrieked and plummeted down into the sky. “Wait… God sensed that Lucifer’s child had proposed redeeming sinners by creating a hotel for them to stay at.”

“Very unexpected,” Michael scoffed. “And highly ineffective, if not impossible. Why put trust in a naive demon princess, when our Exterminators can always be relied upon?”

“I don’t think it’s that clear-cut,” Raphael replied. “It’s a rather brilliant plan, especially coming from the daughter of Satan and Lilith. I think it’s the angel blood in her that makes her so innocent. God told us this a day ago.”

“Mhm, I remember,” Michael casually answered, not paying attention to the conversation.

Puriel, the angel of judgement left his post at the Heavenly Gate and appeared to them. Like Uriel, he was also dressed in white.

“Something’s not right,” he said. “That mortal turned demon over there…” he pointed down at Alastor. “No mortal has possessed that kind of power before. From the moment his soul left Earth, I sensed that he would be bad news. He’s not supposed to be here.”

“No shirt, Sherlock,” Michael replied, beheading a goat-headed demon from behind him.

“As you all may know, I am the judge of souls brought to Heaven, and I’m also a messenger and seer. Lucifer wasn’t supposed to have his power taken away. He was supposed to come up and face us and God after discovering how elitist we are about letting demons in and how we won’t hesitate to make their lives an even more living Hell.”

The other angels stared at him blankly.

Puriel sighed. “Of course only I would understand my visions and His Word. But know this…the demons Charlie, Alastor, Angel Dust, Vaggie…they all were not supposed to be possessed. They were meant to work together and help out all the sinners…much to our dismay and shock. And as for Alastor…”

Alastor’s deer-shaped ear-like tuffs perked up at the sound of his name. He slowly turned his head 360 degrees.

Puriel spoke in a voice so low, not even Alastor could pick up on it. “…His mother is here in Heaven. She is a former Voodoo/Hoodoo practitioner of color named Loretta. She introduced Alastor to the folk traditions and warned him that it had nothing to do with human sacrifices or cannibalism, or gaining power. Those were societal misconceptions…and ideals of a few truly evil Loas. Alas, he didn’t listen.”

“Loas?” Gabriel asked.

Puriel sighed. “Powerful African ancestral spirits. Go look it up on the Interweb of God. The point is, she supported him when his father and society put him down. He spiraled down into madness and it escalated when he arrived in Hell. He should’ve been redeemed like all the other demons Charlie knows.”

“But…only God knows what will happen next…or what should’ve happened next,” said Uriel.

“But, what will happen next?” asked Raphael.

Puriel took a breath. “God only gave me a reference point in the past. It took place just after Sir Pentious’ defeat by Alastor. He said that after Charlie and the others arrive at the hotel…”

Puriel was cut off by a blur of red that knocked everyone back.

The angels flapped their wings to keep themselves in the air.

“Look out!” shouted Raphael. He conjured a green shield around himself as a blast of black flames shot him backwards. Michael launched himself at the Radio Demon, his sword clashing against his staff. Metallic clanging meshed with radio static as sparks flew. The demon and angel were engrossed in a rapid duel.

“What are you supposed to be anyway, some kind of clown with swan wings?” Alastor laughed. “And why’s your halo made of barbed wire?”

“You’re one to talk, delusional dapper deer!” Michael retorted. He pointed his sword at him. “Surrender right now or face the wrath of God and eternal punishment.”

“Eternal punishment?” Alastor asked, doing air quotes. He lowered the weapon away with his fingers.  “Don’t make me laugh. I lost what I had before long ago…but then I gained newfound fame by sheer will. My previous life was Hell on Earth. My current life is Heaven in Hell. So…” he made an innocent face with shining doe-eyes. “Does that mean I’ll begin a new mortal life here?”

Spittle flew from his mouth as he was punched hard in the gut from behind. Gabriel glared at him and withdrew his fist. Alastor wheezed and let himself fall forwards.

The angels dove after him in a V formation.

“You’re not gonna steal my show!” called Alastor, turning around on his back.

Grinning, Alastor shot red bolts of electricity at his assailants. The angels dodged the blasts, save for poor Puriel who got hit square in the face. His face was healed instantly by Raphael’s gentle touch. Uriel grinned slyly at him. “Wanna touch some more, in private?”

Raphael rolled his eyes.

Michael flew over and lifted a collapsed white pillar with just his hand. He threw it at Alastor, who ducked just in time.

With a swipe of his sword, Michael sent multicolored flames straight at him.

“Arrguh!” the overlord shrieked. His horns grew from his head and he brushed off the flames. He stared in disgust at his now charred outfit.

“My new suit! I just got this sewed by Niffty!”

Christian crosses made of light, clashed with dark red Voodoo symbols in the air. Gabriel, Michael, and Uriel attacked Alastor from different angles. Fists rapidly made contact as Alastor blocked the attacks with his arms. Gabriel dodged a kick to the face from Alastor’s shoe. Alastor’s antlers torn into Raphael’s robe. Black tentacles attempted to grab the angels as they appeared from portals in the sky. Michael slashed the tendrils to bits with his sword, spinning around rapidly and frightening away nearby demons down below who were fighting over a bottle of beer.

For a while, it was a stalemate. The opponents stood and faced each other.

Then, Alastor felt a touch coming from behind him. A pale hand was caressing his fluffy black and red deer tail.

“Oh my…” said Uriel. “It’s so fluffy…even more so than a cloud…”

“Uriel!” Raphael warned from above.

Alastor slowly turned his head, one of his eyes twitching. An inhuman growl erupted from his throat and suffocating dark energy surrounded him.

“No one touches me. Ever!”

His voice was low and demonic. Radio static crackled, briefly replacing the sky in flashes of red and neon colors.

In the blink of an eye, Alastor had both his hands out, nails razor sharp, buzzing with green electricity.

With scraping and squelching, Uriel’s feathery wings collapsed and fell from his back. The sharp claws hastily ripped off the attached white feathers, sending feathers and bits of flesh down in a bloody mess.

Uriel gasped in pain and promptly plummeted.

“Uriel!” cried Raphael.

His comrade scooped up the wounded perverted angel and carried him to safety.

Gabriel stared with a shocked face a second too long. A slap of tendrils sent the angel backward, crashing into the street below. He was hurt but not fatally harmed.

 Alastor and Michael clashed one last time, light and darkness beams colliding in the center. The impact was so great, that a small white crack had appeared in the sky.

Michael rushed off with the other angels to call God.

  Alastor peered through the crack and saw a bunch of humans walking around in a city park. A funeral was being held for a bratty kid who had died in Hell and had been returned by a group of imps. No one noticed the tear in the fabric of reality.

“Those pathetic humans and that dull world will never see what I have in store for them.”

Alastor wondered how much time had changed. Did New Orleans look different from when he was last there? Did he have any surviving relatives? He didn’t have any children, but a majority of his family had resided in New Orleans and parts of Canada.

Radio static appeared and disappeared again.

 He tilted his head, somehow sensing…something else.

 His thoughts were interrupted when a painfully bright light slowly grew larger and larger from the Olympus shaped palace.

Even with his powers, there was no way in Heaven or Hell he could fight Him. At least not on his own.

He let out a shrill yell and dove back into a portal to Hell. The shadow spirits and the rest of the demons retreated after him. Charlie closed the portal, flying back with severed angel heads in her hands.

Alastor turned off his radio staff and found himself falling fast. The anti-gravity spell he had used on himself and the non-flying demons had worn off. He couldn’t help but yell as he spun down, uncontrollably.

 Inside a bar in Hell, a demon with a German Shepard head, wearing brown pants and an old cotton shirt was whistling as he polished his hunting rifle.

 CRASH!

 Alastor made a hard landing through a building, plaster falling to the floor. His head got lodged in a hole in a wall, his black antlers getting banged up. The hunter dog jumped back with a bark. Alastor shook his head and glanced around. Along the wall to his left and right were trophies of deer heads, mostly brown ones or the skulls of deer.

Alastor had accidentally knocked a deer head to the floor, his own head lodged through the brass plaque on the wall.

The dog man stared, wide eyed.  Then he barked with laughter. “Holy shit! I guess I got a live one!”

Alastor swore in French. “Very funny.” For the first time, he was thankful that his radio staff was off.

He raised his hand, but the dog bit his wrist with his infected yellow teeth.

Alastor seethed and shrieked in pain. Visions of raging suffocating waves filled his head. He shook his head to clear away the frightful visions.

Rabies.

Of course it had to be rabies.

“Stay back!” the dog growled.

Alastor growled in fury, his eyes red radio dials.

BAM!

A bullet from the hunter’s riffle pierced through his head, right between the eyes.

Not again.

Ignoring the dreadful traumatic memories flooding in, Alastor slowly lifted his head back up, covering his anger with his signature smile.

Radio static pierced the air, the dog cowering and covering his ears with high pitched wines. In an instant, the dog’s head and body exploded in a gory mess which fell to the floor.

The room fell silent.

Husk looked up from his spot at the bar table, the strange grin still on his face. The other demons briefly watched, then continued on with talking and drinking.

“I’ll get it!” called the chipper voice of Niffty, who sprinted forward with a mop and a bucket.

“How embarrassing,” Alastor muttered as he freed himself from the hole and wandered back outside. He knew that the rabies and bullet wound wouldn’t affect him, as he was already dead.

At least not physically.

Emotionally, however…that was another story.

But he soon shook away those thoughts.

 Thankfully, Charlie was there to comfort and compliment him after the battle.

“You did great out there,” she said. “We’re so close to conquering Heaven. I figured it’d be a challenge.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a start, at least,” he said.

“Oh no, your head…” Charlie said with concern, looking at the gushing hole.

“It’s nothing, dear!” he replied.

His cheery voice hid his exhaustion. His hands were caked with cuts and dried blood from the extensive use of his powers.

“I’m going to go rest,” he told Charlie.

“Okay, Alastor, see you when you come back.”

Alastor hopped down through a portal and into his interdimensional lair. After washing up and having leftover deer meat, he sighed as he lay down on his satin sheet bed. The droning of a radio shutting down filled the air as Alastor fell asleep with his eyes wide open.

 Part 8: The Witch Doctor

Once Alastor woke up, he made his way down to his living room and sat down on a leather chair. An old rotary phone sat on the table in in front of him, the buttons white and the long phone black.

He spun the black rotary dial around with one of his long claws, clockwise, counterclockwise, then several other times. He picked up the phone from the stand, a long wire connecting it to the rest of the structure.

A disconnect signal rang through the other line, then an automated voicemail:

“Fuck you for calling Hos-Pit-Hell, Hell’s number one medical care facility. If you are in need of emergency care, please dial 9-6-1-6-1, and we’ll get to you as late as we can.  Pick your medications and poisons for just 66.99 souls. Or enjoy the benefits from your health insurance program, Mediscare, Medislayed, Red Pentagram, Ackpria, etc. If you’re calling for a prescription, press one. If you’d like to speak with our specialists or providers, press two. To make an appointment and face a 50% chance of death, press three…”

A rotation and press of a button.

“Hello there,” said a monotone female demonic voice.

“Yes, this is Alastor, the Radio Demon. I just got back from a brawl with those goody-two-shoes angels and I took a bullet to my head, again. Yes, we’re all dead but we still get hurt down here.”

“Appointment?”

“Yes, I’d like to make one for five minutes from now.”

“I’m sorry, sir, we are currently at full capacity. The majority of our patients are suffering from COVID-20 and the rest of them are bodies storied in the remaining rooms, overcrowding the basement and some outside. There simply isn’t enough room. And I thought the current crisis on Earth was bad.”

Alastor growled. “I don’t care, madam, you can tell your supervisor that those bodies can be eaten to make more room…by yours truly, if necessary.”

“I am the supervisor,” she said with a screech and chomping of teeth. “And I say, there’s never enough room here…we are short-staffed, all the protective equipment has been used for a month, and not even I can keep up with all the modern demands.”

“I’ll be there in five minutes. My head hurts and my hand is metaphorically killing me. Please have a room ready for me with the witch doctor.”

“Sir, I’m afraid…”

“You and your staff are supposed to take care of your patients. If you aren’t able to do so…then not even the best doctor will be able to help you once you’re taken care of by me…”

A tense silence.

“Are we clear?”

“Y-yes, sir.”

“Splendid! I’ll be there soon, have a nice day!”

He hung up the phone with a loud slam.

“Ah, that satisfying slam sound never gets old.”

 Alastor soon arrived at the entrance to the Hos-Pit-Hell, a hole in a cave down inside an ash-covered pit. His shoes echoed off the stone walls as he walked. Blue torches attached to the walls gave off eerie flickers of minimal light. A couple of pale white ghosts were playing poker at a small table near the damp stone wall. Alastor glanced in their direction and the spirits froze in fear.

“Boo!”

The ghosts wailed in fright and disappeared through the wall, dropping their playing cards.

Alastor clicked his tongue and continued down the vast cavernous hallway.

 The offices and rooms gave off the appearance of dungeon cell doors. The metal grate doors creaked as they were opened, demon patients following their care providers inside. In one room, a demon wearing a cowboy hat was strapped to an operating table. A promiscuously dressed nurse stood beside him, wearing a red hat with an upside down white cross on it. Her skirt was short and white and her name tag read “Betty.” She held two large needles in her hands and gave a polite smile.

“I’ll be taking care of you this afternoon, Mason,” she said. “Just take a deep breath and relax…”

The demon screamed in fright as the nurse giggled.

In another room, a doctor wearing a white lab coat was examining a demon, bond in a tub of icy water.

“Maniac symptoms appear to be decreasing significantly. Brain activity slowing down, aggressiveness level diminishing. I believe this procedure is already becoming successful.”

The horned ram demon’s teeth were chattering, his eyes glazed over, brown skin blue with frostbite.

 Another sign on the wall read “torture therapy.” Inside another room, demons were being painfully stretched on racks or hovered over burning coals as meditation music played. One was in a lotus position on top of a large green cactus, trying to keep still. One demon’s eyes bulged from her head as she was put through intensive shock therapy in another room.

   Alastor soon made it to the front desk, a desk made from black wood held in place by demon and human skeletons huddled close together, concrete filling in the extra space.

A black and green giant leech was typing onto a computer with hairy legs and another leech was checking other demons in.

Alastor cleared his throat and the leech looked up.

“I’m here for my appointment with Aradia Bondeye Greda.”

“Waiting room is over there,” said the leech, pointing to a space with metal benches with rotting skeletons sitting on them.

Alastor sighed and snapped his fingers. The corpses and bones disintegrated into flames before vanishing in puffs of light pink smoke. One of the metal benches morphed into a red velvet chair and he sat down.

A pile of magazines and newspapers lay on a nearby table: Hellhound Monthly, the Daily Damion, 666 News, along with several paper ads for I.M.P.

He stood up and stretched.

 Dark demons wearing cowboy hats and capes spoke in harsh whispers. “Is that the Radio Demon?”

“Yeah, what a psycho punk.”

“Going to the doctors, ha!” snickered the other demon. “What’d did he do to get hurt?”

“Hey, your Majesty!” said one of the demons in a mocking tone. “You call yourself a man, fucking sissy child?!”

 Alastor froze, his eyes widening. The waiting room faded away in black, a vision overtaking him…

 “…fucking sissy of a boy! First you don’t play sports, now you decide you’re hot for dudes, is that right?”

A light brown skinned boy, age ten, cowered in his small upstairs bedroom.

“That ain’t true, father!” he protested. “I’m not into anybody! I just dance with girls for fun…”

“Lazy dewdropper boy with nothin’ better to do than to sit at home and doze off to musicals on the radio. Ya tryin’ to be a disappointment to me and the Lord?”

“No father, I swear! I…I’ve been much better at hunting. I can almost shoot perfectly now. And I’ve contributed to the war effort. You know, handing out fliers and singing songs…”

“Not good enough!” The man’s white face turned beat red, his breath smelling of whisky. “I can see why those at school take you to be a weird sap. You’re lost in your own puny head, not giving a flyin’ horsefeather about what goes on in the real world. You bring mud into the house every day after frolicking around outside like it’s no big deal. What a disappointment.”

“Dad, I’m not a disappointment!”

A dark skinned woman’s face appeared from in the hallway, a woman with short black hair, wearing a cloth dress of red and purple, white lace around the collar.

“Louis…” she warned. “Qu’est-ce que tu fais? Laisse-le-tranquille!”

The man turned to her.

“Loretta, stay outta this!”

He slammed the wooden door in her face and locked it, ignoring her knocking and protests.

Louis glanced lustfully at a hidden picture of a blonde dapper woman in his pocket, then turned back to him.

“If you wanna live under this roof, I expect you to follow my rules. Tell me, you’re a bi-racial freak who hits on any guy he sees, is that right?”

The young boy shook his head. “No.”

“Answer the question truthfully, you liar.”

“Dad, stop!”

“Answer the god damn question, boy!”

The boy didn’t budge.

Louis walked over toward the closet, and removed a sinister-looking long black thing from around a hook.

Alastor stepped back, eyes wide in fear. “No, no, don’t!”

“Don’t you talk back to me, punk!” Louis scolded. “You deserve this after you rudely interrupted my session with Merida last night.”

He ordered the young boy to undress. The boy took off his shirt and pants with shaking arms. The black boxers were the last to go. This wasn’t the first time he had been beaten…he didn’t want the punishment to drag on.

“Thatta boy,” he nodded in approval.

The first lash struck him in the stomach, almost causing the boy to fall. A sharp, searing pain.

Lash!

The whip lashed several times against his back, emitting piercing screams from his throat.

Lash!

A strong punch to his jawbone left him wailing. He had a bad feeling that he’d wake up in the morning with several bruises.

Kicks, scratches, whips…the assaults went on, Alastor gritting his teeth against the sharp sensations. He tried to concentrate on his mother’s soothing voice from outside. He could hear her sobbing from behind the door.

“You’re a worthless sissy slut!” Louis bellowed. “Say it.”

“I…I’m a worthless sissy slut…” he looked down.

“Louder! Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Alastor stared, tears in his eyes and repeated the phrase again and again. He was utterly humiliated…a sickening feeling inside him every time he spoke those self-degrading sentences. The spanking was especially painful…his brown bottom turning red as a beet. Alastor closed his eyes and waited until it was over. He looked at his father and obeyed his commands, anxious for the torment to end.

At long last, the beatings stopped. His body ached all over, brown skin beat red.

Alastor thought it had ended…

Then his father had a crazed look in his eyes. He slowly walked over to him, a sway in his hunky hips.

“You like men, do ya?” he asked.

Alastor lied and nodded, feeling helpless.

White fingers reached down and Louis unzipped his pants.

“Well, then, for taking your punishment, I’ll give you a little reward…”

 A hairy hideous cock dangling before his frightened eyes…

A horrible presence of something long, thick and foreign, pulling in and out of him from behind…

Rough calloused hands exploring light brown skin, tugging his neither regions, every touch a sickening violation.

The horrid taste of flesh and semen in his mouth, the choking and gagging worsening the experience.

An odor smell in the air…a slimy substance, sticking to him and inside him, like a liquid pathogen that could never be cleansed away. The room was abuzz with child screams of protest, clashing with low grunts and manly moans of pleasure.

  He felt like a deer that had been run over and spit on.

His father’s face inches from his own…

Speaking in a bone-chilling whisper…

“…and don’t you ever spy on me with my other sheba again, ya hear me?! You tell your mama, I’ll make you both wish you’re were never born. Crying pussy…”

 He stomped out of the room. Alastor brawled into his pillow for what seemed like hours. He wanted to die then and there.

Soft dark brown arms enveloped he weak form, as someone sat down on the bed beside him. A white towel was wrapped around him protectively. He knew that comforting smell of perfume and herbs anywhere.

 “Je suis desole…mon fils…”

Alastor buried his face into her dress, crying some more until he was tired. Her warm hugs were soothing, her hand tenderly rubbing his back. Loretta took his hand and led him to the bathroom.

Sensing his need for privacy, she closed the door and stood guard outside.

After washing up and wiping tears away, he headed down to the kitchen, smelling something good.

Loretta spoke in English, her smile radiant and kind… “Your favorite meal, sweetheart. Thought it’d cheer you up.”

Alastor sat down and his eyes lit up. A hot colorful dish of jambalaya sat waiting for him. A mesh-up of pink shrimp, onions, green pepper slices, sausage bits and a few other vegetables. The first taste sent a fiery kick to his tongue.

“Hot sauce, of course…” she said.

Alastor chewed happily, imagining that he was eating his father’s fried fingers.

She tenderly touched her son’s cheeks, wiping away the remaining tears.

“You’re not worthless. You’re not a sissy. Don’t believe anything your father says to you. You are my son…and no matter what you do, I’ll always love you.”

“Y-you really believe that?”

“I swear by the Lord above, I do.” She planted a kiss on top of his head of brown hair.

She tenderly lifted up the corners of his mouth, a playful look on her face. Alastor’s cheeks blushed in happiness.

“Hey, don’t forget to smile, my dear. You’re never strong nor fully dressed without one!”

 “Alastor…”

A low nurse’s voice interrupted his thoughts and he turned around. She had pink hair, white skin, and, strangely enough, a man’s voice. The demons who had taunted him earlier lay in bloodied indistinguishable pieces on the floor.

Much like how his father looked after he had ensured his torture and death would be excruciating.

Revenge was a dish best served raw…and he had never been as satisfied with human flesh as during that night…

 “Alastor!”

He turned around. “Yes, that’s me.”

He followed the nurse through an arched doorway. After she checked his weight, listened to his chest, checked his eyes, teeth etc. she stood in the center of the small room. Alastor sat on a long hospital chair, the thin sheet covered with bloodstains. She reached up and briefly touched his furry tuffs, making him flinch.

“Looks like your ears are fine.” She touched and examined them again, emitting a growl from Alastor’s throat.

“They’re not ears.”

“Then what are they?”

“Horns…I think?”

“I thought they were deer ears. How can you demons hear without ears, anyway?”

“Cartoon logic, perhaps?! How am I supposed to know?”

The nurse finished her assessment and wrote down the results on a clipboard.

“You had any alcohol in the past week?”

“Several bottles of liquor and some dark coffee.”

“Have you ever smoked?”

“Only in my human life. I did it in nearly every building.”

“You have any allergies to any medications?”

“No.”

“Have you ever experienced any repressions or issues of sexual functioning such as…”

Her clipboard split apart down the middle and fell to the floor, Alastor holding out his finger.

“Never mind,” she said, bending down to pick it up.

   “Alright, Alastor, the doctor should be with you in a moment.”

She put down the clipboard pieces on the table and held out her hand. “5,000 souls.”

Alastor’s eyes darted around, even as his smile stayed on his face. He knew that the visit would be expensive. He placed eight large dark coins in her hand.

“Not enough, sir,” she replied coldly.

“Each one is worth 800,” he coyly answered.

She shook her head, scrutinizing the coins. “I don’t think so. Give me 5,000 or consider this visit over.”

The nurse soon found herself standing waist deep in a large pile of gold coins. A rainfall of coins fell through a hole in the ceiling, landing painfully on her head of pink hair.

“Is that a satisfactory amount?” he asked.

The gold coins heated up in ember glows. The nurse flinched as the hot metal touched her bare legs. “Ow, ow ouch!”

“I can still complete my visit…can’t I?”

“Ow, yes, yes this is…ooowww… fine! Just…make it stop.”

“Swell,” he replied. He snapped his fingers and the illusion ended. There was no hole and no gold coins anywhere.

“I-I’ll let her know that you’re here,” said the nurse in a stuttering male voice. She dashed out the door, high heels clanking against the tile floor.

 The door opened and in stepped the witch doctor. Her hair was long and white, and made of moving snakes with red eyes. Her eyes were blank white, but she could still see where she was going. A wooden cane tapped against the floor as she used it for support. Her skin was dark brown with a few wrinkles. She wore a cloth dress with ancient symbols stitched onto it. A bag attached to her belt had healing herbs and a few poisons in it.

“Well, well, if it isn’t my favorite dapper deer!” she said with a smile.

“How wonderful to see you, Aradia,” Alastor smiled, touching her cheeks in greeting.  

 Aradia was one of the few demons who saw Alastor more than a fearsome ruler, or a casual friend. She was similar to Mimzy, Charlie and Rosie in that she could be considered his friend as well as his doctor.

But there was more to it than that…she was the only person he had to a counseling mother figure. She still had a youthful appearance in regards to her slender smooth body and soft features in her face, despite the wrinkles occasionally showing along her forehead and among the corners of her eyes.

Aradia was older too… she had been born as Sara M. Greda in the 1800s and was burned at the stake for witchcraft. Though she may have poisoned a few settlers with her herbs, she mostly used her spells and deeds for good.

“Shall I take you for a drink, later?” Alastor asked with a wink.

Aradia clicked her tongue. “Ha! No sir! You may think you’re so smooth with the ladies and any sheba you come across, but your charms won’t work on everyone. And neither will they work on me.”

Alastor glanced at his shoulder, where the nurse had poked him with a needle.

“Well…it was worth a shot.”

He laughed softly at his joke.

“Alright then,” she said. “Let’s take a look at your hand and head.”

She paced around and lifted up his clawed hand to the light. Bite marks, raw and red, stung sharply within his flesh.

“Oh dear. That’s pretty deep.” She waved her hand over the wound, being careful not to touch it. She hummed a spell and closed her eyes. The inflammation and infection slowly started to fade. Alastor let out a small sigh of relief.

“Wrap your hand in sterile wrappings and gauze.” She handed him a dark plum colored potion in a small vial. “This is a mixture of mugwort, rosemary, and…pardon my joke…deertails. Take a few sips every morning and then rinse your mouth thoroughly with water. Say this prayer to respect the healing goddess…”

She spoke a mantra in a different ancient language that somehow, he could interpret.

“And don’t forget to honor your ancestors as well. Not even a powerful man like yourself can do everything on your own.”

Nodding, Alastor took the bottle and pocketed it. His previous suit he had worn in the battle was currently being washed and tended to by Niffty. Thankfully, he had a spare one.    

“Now then…about that bullet in your head…”

Alastor tried not to squirm when the witch got close. She looked right at him with her blank eyes. “I know you don’t like to be touched, but this will only be for a few minutes.”

Her soft thin hands maneuvered around his gray forehead, hovering over a round black hole with a rim of dried blood. A pair of metal pliers and a scalpel appeared in her hands. Alastor’s breathing increased, arms and head twitching in an instinctual urge to escape.

“Please hold still,” she urged.

 Alastor’s shadow familiar appeared and snapped his dark fingers. Shadow tentacles wrapped tightly around his arms, chest and legs, preventing him from moving.

Alastor glared at his shadow, who placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Seriously?” he snapped at his antlered counterpart.

Aradia nodded in thanks to the shadow then went back to her work. She spoke a numbing spell and Alastor soon lost feeling in his head and hand. All he could feel was suffocating, uncomfortable pressure between his eyes as the skin was pulled open. Cold metal seeped into his brain and he closed his eyes. The horrible visions of drowning came back to him…similar visions he had suffered when he was bitten as a human.

Normally he was not afraid of water, or dogs, or even hunters…but the visions made them look like gigantic titans hell-bent on eliminating every last bit of him. A deer in the headlight’s look, with only his gun and no powers for protection. Racing through a dark never-ending forest, wailing like a deranged starved beast. The moon was round and full, peering from behind the clouds. Blood…blood, was everywhere, shining on his light brown hands after a murder, staining his white and red shirt. His black bow tie was lopsided, brown hair matted in a mess. His brown hunting boots were caked with snow and mud. His brown pants torn in several places. Every light from flashlights and every shout from officers made him jump. He didn’t know where he was going, nor did he care. For the first time, he felt helpless in the dark wood. Even the trees and the wind seemed to be mocking him. Maybe he could reach his house and radio station if he was fast enough…

 Inflammation burned through his head, black spots dancing across his vision. He paused, gasping for breath with his back pressed against an old oak tree. Peering in the dark, he spotted a lone buck in the snow, drinking from a pond.

With shaking hands, he aimed his rifle straight ahead, peering through the round glass attached. He maneuvered it until the four dotted cross lines were displayed on a tender area spot on the buck’s neck.  

Flashing a grin, he got ready to pull the trigger…

Sharp canine teeth sunk deep into his legs. Alastor stumbled at the sudden impact… his gun flying from his hands. A German Shepard, a Rottweiler, a Labrador… all snapping and biting him with ferocious barks.

A nearby deer hunter appeared front of him like an apparition and called out, “Criminal’s over here!”

Alastor’s heart quickened at the sound of approaching footsteps…the agonizing pain from his infected hand clouding his thoughts.

Nothing else mattered to him. Through the pain, he knew he would get caught and sent to the Big House for life. The hunter was now being hunted…and the end was in sight.

Alastor briefly shook himself free from the dog’s grips, reaching forward for the hunter’s gun.

The hunter seethed. “Don’t kill me, you murderous sap bastard! Let go!”

The voices grew closer…”Alastor Cajun, you’re under arrest for murder in the first degree…”

The two men wrestled for the rifle. Alastor placed his forehead close to the two holes. Both of their hands grabbed the trigger and pressed down at the same moment.

An ear-shattering blast rang out…

The bullet struck him square between the eyes. Blood spilled out from his head and he collapsed hard onto the snow-covered ground. The dogs pounced on Alastor’s failing body. His round glasses shattered and fell to the ground.

A smile was still on his face when he brown eyes glazed over and his head flopped limply to the side. He was already gone…sent into an unfeeling world of pitch black…

  “…and we’re all done,” said Aradia.

Alastor opened his eyes. The bullet shell glistened with blood between the metal pliers. Sweat dotted his face. She threw the shell into a nearby blue torch on the wall.

“Your visions should be over soon,” she said. Waving her hand again, the hole in his forehead closed up. The shadow tendrils released him, and his smiling shadow vanished.

“Thank you,” said Alastor, getting down from the chair and standing up on shaking legs.

“You’re most welcome,” she said. “I would never miss an opportunity to see my favorite patient.”

“Yeah you better not, or I’d have your guts and organs for breakfast.”

A tense silence.

“Kidding!” he said with a laugh, and Aradia laughed as well. Though she was thankful she was in his good graces.

“May Bondeye and your past loved ones be with you,” she said.

Alastor gave her a bow and a hug before going on his way.

 Part 9: Error: 4th Wall Break

Charlie smiled when Alastor came back.

“Ready to head out to Heaven?” she asked.

“Not today, my dear,” he replied.  He conjured up a radio and an unlucky demon got sucked inside.

A red mug of hot coffee appeared in his hand, the mug reading “#1 Radio Star” on it in red letters.

He stopped short and stared straight ahead into open space. Static crackled through the air and a glowing white crack in the air appeared. Alastor peered through the crack and saw the city park, this time at night.

It, indeed, was the human world. But somehow, Alastor sensed, another realm meshed deeper within that one.

“Is that the human world?” Charlie asked.

“Yes indeed,” he said. He nodded to Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie, all with glowing red dialed eyes. They scurried through another flaming portal nearby, slaughtering humans and throwing their mutilated bodies back through the portal. The I.M.P. jingle played in the background once the imps returned.

Charlie smiled. “Oh humans! How fun, how fascinating…”

“…and tasty,” Alastor added.

Alastor thought back to when he first saw the human world. Yes, the one in front of him would be there for the taking.

But exactly was that underlying presence hidden underneath?

Alastor grew to full demon form and stepped up to the crack. The humans scrambled away as another imp chased after them in the city.

“Hello? Anyone else out there?”

No answer.

 He tapped the air in front of him several times.

“Alastor, what are you doing?” Charlie asked.

Alastor ignored her, staring straight ahead. He didn’t appear to be looking at anything in particular. He tapped the air again, claws grasping at nothing.

White glowing cracks began to appear in the invisible wall. He pounded harder in front of him, feeling a force of energy. The cracks kept spreading in a haphazard web. They expanded and branched out more and more…

“You know, using a portal would be easier,” Charlie mentioned.

Alastor ignored her again. With more fervor, he let out a demonic growl, mingled with a humming of electricity.

“Al…” Charlie spoke.

Crack.

“Al…”

Reality shifted and morphed. Colored static filled the entire space, colors flashing, matter and transparent rectangular shapes flickering in different directions. The air began to shake like an earthquake rumbling to the surface. Red Voodoo symbols hovered around him. The static increased, radio sounds grew louder, reaching a discordant peak…”

“AL!”

The invisible wall broke and collapsed on itself.

 Alastor and Charlie peered through the black hole and gasped.

 “Well, well, well, who do we have here?” he asked with a radio sounding laugh.

 “What…is that?” Charlie breathed.

 Alastor looked closer. “I can’t believe my eyes. I’m looking at another realm. Or rather, another mortal realm.”

 Parts of her old self returning to her, Charlie waved happily. “Hello there! You’re human, right? Welcome to Hell!”

 “Of course they are,” Alastor replied, turning to look at Charlie. “And fortunately, they don’t appear to be a child.”

 “What gender are they?” Charlie asked. “I can’t see very well through that dark hole…”

“I could not care less about that,” Alastor replied. “Male or female, black, brown, white, whatever. As long as the mortal, or mortals, can provide me with some entertainment…it should be swell!” He absentmindedly licked his lips.

Alastor faced the front. “Oh dear, where are my manners? In case you didn’t know already, my name is Alastor. This over here, is my darling Charlie. Quite a pleasure to be meeting you.”

Charlie beamed again.

Alastor continued. “You there, on the other side…I’ve been quite bored recently. I could just share my conquests with other demons and angels and those other humans. But you know…I might as well do something fun in the meantime. How about I take you along on a tour of my domain. Free of charge! No need to be sitting in that chair or lounging around on that bed or whatever.”

“Uh, Alastor?” Charlie asked. “They’re on the other side of a screen.”

Alastor sighed. “Vox and his ridiculous TVs and tech. I’ll never understand them.”  

“I heard from Vox that modern devices are sometimes called computers, iPhones, iPads, tablets, holographic things…”

“Even worse!”

“Come on, there’s nothing bad about them. You’re into technology, too you know!”

“But radios are different! They’re simple, classic and fun. It was the technology in my time. Of course I’m going to be sticking with it.”

“That technology isn’t used as much nowadays.”

Alastor shook his head. “People still use them. Those who aren’t are missing out.” He sighed. “I’ll never understand you mortals. Hey, I had trouble even understanding myself sometimes, but enough about that. You ready, mortal?”

He rapidly cut in and chuckled, “Of course you are, now let’s get going!”

Charlie gasped as Alastor stretched out his black gloved four-fingered hands, bent fingers spread out wide…

A dark demonic chuckle…

A steadfast grip and a forceful tug…

…Head and body merging through the screen, among static…

…and into the world of Hell.

  Section 2

Part 10: A World of Entertainment

   “Well then, welcome to Hell! Let’s get started on this little tour, shall we?”

 The way back to Earth was blocked by an evil-looking black dragon, who, for some odd reason, carried a backpack with a saxophone on its back. The dragon’s eyes glowed a demonic red, like all the other inhabitants of this place.

From all sides along the street, were grinning animal-like demons of a variety of colors. Clowns, hellhounds, imps, bi-pedal goats, TV-headed demons…all with glowing red eyes. Their stares and stances meant only one thing as they scooted closer and closer…

 There would be no escape.

 “I can take it from here, my dear,” he mentioned to Charlie.

 “Have fun!” Charlie called before wondering off back to the Hazbin Hotel.

 Alastor turned to his shadow counterpart and spoke in a low voice.

 “Keep an eye on her, and don’t let her out of your sight.”

 The shadow let out a distorted chuckle before arching upwards and vanishing into the distance.

  Alastor snapped his fingers and two large shadows spread out from his body, morphing into tall figures. Standing on either side of Alastor were two fit demon bodyguards wearing fancy suits, neckties with crisscrossed lines like that of radio towers, plus bow-ties under their chins. One had the head and large ears of a red buck, his hands that of deer hooves and large black antlers extending outwards. His suit was dark blue. The other guard had an old fashioned radio for a head. Dials encased in rectangular glass panels made up his eyes, his mouth a row of sharp metal fangs. His suit was dark red like Alastor’s, his necktie black with light red crisscross lines on it. His hands were four fingered sharp claws. He had no ears and no hair. They both looked like alternate forms of the Radio Demon.

 “Oh right,” said Alastor, introducing his lackeys. “This is Cerf and this is Muse. Sometimes when me and my shadow get bored and need to conquer a more challenging territory, I summon these two to assist me. Not many people know that I have backup boys around. It took many sacrifices and blood magic for me to create these…counterparts, if you will. Look, boys, we have a new guest!”

 “I’m telling you,” Cerf said with a snort to Muse. “He called me a buck-up boy! Is that all I really am to him?”

“It’s ‘back-up boy’ you stupid deer!” said Muse in a voice overlapped by static. “And I’m in the same position as you. Though I would say I have the more important role out of the two of us.”

“What do you do during the rare times he summons us?” Cerf asked. “I’ll tell you. You reside in Alastor’s head and come up with ridiculous jokes for him to use for his next broadcast.”

“Ha! At least I don’t mope around in his subconscious, trying to persuade him to “live a jolly freeing life in the world of nature.” I’m sorry good sir, but Alastor doesn’t have the longing fantasies he did as a kid.”

Cerf stomped his foot. “It’s always you and that Shadow Alastor appreciates having around. Not to mention you and your annoying transatlantic accent isn’t a good influence for him. And who am I? Just a decoy for powerful overlords to hunt after, while you get to parade around and help control his microphone!”

Muse turned to Cerf, clenching his clawed fist. “I beg your pardon, but who was it that decided to give Alastor antlers, red hair, and large deer tuft ears that may not actually be ears?!”

Cerf crossed his furry red arms. “It’s not our fault that he looks the way he does. Before this, we were part of Shadow’s group of spirits who helped transform him out of his mortal shell. Personally, I think his look suits him just fine. Heh, can you imagine how less relatable he’d be if he just had a metal head like you and Vox?”

Muse gasped with a screech. “Don’t you dare compare me with that techno-obsessed cretin!”

Cretin snickered, showing sharp fangs. “Oh wait, I just did! What are you gonna do, sing an angry song about it?”

Muse’s eyes glowed red. “Maybe I will!”

Both men growled and stared each other in their eyes.

 Their fight was soon broken off by a forceful magic shove that sent both of them to the ground. Their true shadow Loa selves briefly flickered in and out.

Alastor towered over them, annoyance in his red eyes despite his smile.

“Excuse me, but I believe we have a guest to welcome on this special tour. Plus, I’ll need your help once we invade Heaven and Earth.”

They stood up on shaky legs. “He started it!” they both said at the same time, pointing their fingers.

“It doesn’t matter who started what,” Alastor replied, like a scolding parent. “I can easily send you back into myself…or perhaps a one way trip to…”

Both men gulped, waiting in tense anticipation.

“…the sun.”

“Nononono!” whimpered Muse, stepping back. The bright light and intense heat led to a painful end for any shadow being.

“W-w-we’ll behave ourselves, sir,” Cerf said with a stutter. “We are a part of you after all.”

“Yes, yes!” Muse piped up. “We deeply apologize for our behavior.”

Alastor pondered in thought. “Perhaps I’ll show you some mercy for right now…”

Both sighed in relief.

“But you both have to dance on burning coals tonight and eat my mother’s special Creole dish…”

Cerf’s red eyes widened…

“…dipped in wasabi sauce.”

They both screamed and promptly collapsed to the ground.

 With a sigh, Alastor snapped his fingers and the beings vanished inside his staff, streams of darkness being sucked in before all was quiet.

“Sorry about that, mortal,” he said. “I thought I could make this tour more welcoming, but… things don’t always work out that way. Anyway, let’s move on.”

 It was time to follow The Radio Demon. The overlord clad in red blended in with the crimson sky and blood-red lighting from flickering streetlamps. His black shoes revealed red deer-shaped prints on the soles with every step he took.  Alastor went up a couple of steps and stopped by his throne.

“As you can see, I am now the new king of Hell. The previous one Lucifer…”

He glanced over at the broken white throne, purple snakes making up the rim and arms. Two purple snakes decorated the top part of the throne, their mouths gaping toward a ripe apple with a pentagram in the center. They were inanimate representations of the snakes that would come alive on Lucifer’s white top hat, back when he was in charge. Laying in pieces at the scaly concrete feet of the throne was a staff with a red apple on top…Lucifer’s staff.

“…well, let’s just say he got the short end of the stick when he made a deal with me.”

A brown stick appeared in his hand and then broke in half with a loud snap.

“The mighty ruler of Hell…brought to his downfall, thanks to his beloved daughter. To put my scheme in motion, I had to capture Charlie and convince her to take my side. It was one of many parts in my grand master plan. It wasn’t easy getting her to submit. First, I ensured that she would be successful in running the hotel…it was very entertaining during my visit there. I caused a little trouble, a mishap from time to time, but only to not arouse suspicion.”

   Silence.

 He stared for a bit, eyebrows raised. “You’re confused? Well let me explain. If I had acted like a perfect redeemed client right away, Charlie and the others would think something strange was going on. I wouldn’t be acting like myself, plus my reputation would go down. On the other hand, if I had harmed everyone there, I’d eventually just be bored again. Charlie caught my eye when I saw her on the picture show for the first time. Why miss an opportunity to…shall I say…make more friends down here, and mess around with sinners some more?”

Alastor laughed in his radio voice. “I mean, even killing demons and conquering territory does get boring after a while! What’s that saying again…”variety is the spice of life?” Yes, that’s it. Though personally, my favorite saying is “You’re never fully dressed without a smile!” It’s from the Annie musical, I highly recommend watching it.”

“Here I am, talking so long again. Let’s continue on.”

 Alastor lead the way down the steps and throughout the city. He glanced over at Vaggie and Angel Dust.

Angel Dust walked over, when he noticed Alastor, his guards and the following mortal. Vaggie grinned and held up a bloody spear in her left hand.

 “Hello there, human,” Angel Dust said in a static-filled Italian accent. “I was just finishing up a book on dad jokes and I must say, they are pretty funny. Might even get the attention of some buff looking guys out there.” He winked with one of his red eyes. “What did the penis say to his annoying younger brother? ‘Stop being such a dick!’”

  Vaggie rolled her eyes and let out an unnatural laugh, her Salvadorian accent also distorted. “You know how cheesy those jokes are. I bet not a single demon would even want to listen to you after being on stage.”

“Here’s another one,” said Angel. “What’s an arachnid’s favorite fall drink? Apple Spider!”

 Vaggie rolled her eyes again.

 Angel laughed. “You’re just jealous ‘cause I’ve been here longer and I’ve had more fun.”

 “Well, I have a girlfriend…when she’s not with Alastor.”

 Angel crisscrossed his arms and wiggled his gloved-covered fingers. “Well I have…six amazing arms that can do all sorts of stuff. Wanna see?”

 Vaggie briefly made a face of disgust. “No one wants any sort of demonstration. We still don’t know where your hands have been, and I certainly don’t wanna know!”

 “Oh well, your loss.”

 Vaggie waved at Alastor and hummed “You’re Never Fully Dressed.”

“May we dance, Alastor?” she asked.

 “Maybe later, my dear,” Alastor responded. “I need to finish up this tour.”

“Okay, sir, see you soon!”

Alastor briefly picked her up and spun her around in the air. She smiled affectionately after Alastor lowered her and rubbed her cheeks with two of his fingers.

They both waved goodbye.

 “Hehhehheh,” Alastor grinned, stopping and turning back to the front. “Don’t you just love their new personalities? As you can probably tell, they still have some of their old traits within them but with some great improvements. Angel Dust…”

He huffed in frustration.

“…well, he was a famous “adult” star in Hell and he would always be hitting on me and calling me such degrading terms.”

His eyes glowed an angry red for a split second. “I mean, ‘strawberry pimp?’ ‘Radio deer daddy?’ Absolutely revolting! I’d rather face a horde of rabid dogs than let that spider touch me anywhere.”

Alastor cleared his throat.

“Anyway, Angel was into porn and drugs and fighting any turf war that came up. I’ll admit, it was hard to keep him in line at first. At one point, I thought he would actually try and “redeem” himself with his sister and that cherry bomb lady and that delinquent slut hellhound friends of his. And yes, when you suddenly rule Hell, you get to know who else is around.”

“Alas, Angel was too deep in his pursuit of the next stimulating high. He wasn’t getting along with his father and brother. I offered to help him out, providing him with some drinks here and there. Angel took the bait, almost as easy as Husk. He began to trust me, even though I’d remind him to stay six feet away from me at all times. Eventually, after I made the deal with Charlie’s father, he fell under my spell like everyone else around here.”

 Angel’s bother, Arackniss, was short and had a black furry face. He was dancing against his will on a podium by a supermarket. His father, Henroin was hanging dead from a tree, via Alastor’s doing. No abusive individuals were allowed to live.

 Alastor mentioned to Vaggie.

“That darling Vaggie over there would’ve flown off the handle if I laid a hand on her beforehand.” He sighed contently. “You should’ve seen her face when she saw me and Charlie bond closer as the weeks went on. Charlie was so happy that more demons were coming to stay at the hotel. We bonded over music, dancing, and my jambalaya. Charlie didn’t notice Vaggie pouting in the corner with her arms crossed. I saw her and thought her little head might explode! Anyway, our friendship grew closer and at one point, she sobbed against the wall.”

 Alastor tilted his head. “It’s true. She kept coming up with plans to kill me, but my minions from the other side always watch my back. It was so hilarious when she pleaded in tears…”

He mimicked Vaggie’s voice, “Charlie, what have you become? I keep telling you not to trust him. D-don’t you want to spend time with me, anymore?”

“Of course, Vaggie,” he said, in an imitation of Charlie’s higher pitched voice. “I really am grateful for your help. But, Alastor’s oh so charming, and he’s such a big help. I know what I’m doing.”

He spoke in his regular voice, “Oh romantic relationships…so messy and so dramatic! I know how to act in a romantic manner, but don’t let that fool you. Personally, I’m not interested in sex or romance or any of that. I feel like I’m not fully in control when someone tries to hug me or get closer to me in various ways. Oh but boy is it fun to watch other sinners go through heartbreaks and tears. Charlie and I are what you would call “affectionate friends.” It’s like my associations with Mimzy, Rosie, Niffty, Husk, and the like. We hang out, we sing, we drink, we kill people…it’s all good fun. They know not to touch me without permission. No need to worry about being tied down or dealing with intimate touching.”

He inwardly squirmed.

“Besides, I’m much too busy with my afterlife radio career. It was a big help for me in my human life as well.”

  Alastor continued on. “Let’s keep going. I’d like you to meet my associates, Husk and Niffty.”

Alastor pulled open a door that led into a bar. Husk was busy serving up drinks for patrons sitting on stools. He was a black and white cat demon wearing a large red bow tie and a little black top hat between his ears. He had red wings with card suits on them. Niffty, the short hyperactive cyclops, was dusting off a pool table toward the back of the room, her magenta/red hair and pink skirt making her stand out. One of her little beds was in a round shaped unlit fireplace, similar to the one she was summoned from at the hotel.

 “Ah Husker, my dear friend! So nice to see you again.”

“All the same.” Husk had an unnatural grin of sharp yellow teeth on his face. He went limp as Alastor hugged him. He was like an independent teen who surrendered to the rules and hugs of a parent.

“What can I get you, Alastor?”

“New Orleans black liquor, 1902.”

“Coming right up.”

Alastor patted a stool beside him, but not too close. “Here, take a seat. Make yourself comfortable.”

A faint squeaking of the stool and a slight better view of the collection of glass mugs and the bottles displayed in glass cabinets. Faint jazz music played in the background as a demon shot darts at a target in the wall. Several others played cards on a table. A lone skeletal woman held a slender cigarette in her bony fingers. A demon with a dark face and a black top hat wore a long cape and dark suit. He appeared to be talking with another demon wearing a white beak-shaped mask over his face. They, too, were under Alastor’s power.

 On TV, a blonde skeletal woman was sitting at a desk, her eyes bright red. Next to her was a man wearing a suit who had with white hair and a gas mask for a face. They were Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench.

 “Good afternoon, Pentagram City!” said Katie. “The weather will once again be dreary and hellish with a high of 120 degrees. Makes Phoenix, Arizona seem like paradise.”

“Even hotter than Cherri Bomb’s natural bombs!” Tom added suggestively. “Imagine trying to get my hands on those…”

“Hahahaha. Your limp noodle is so shriveled and small, not even a zombie would want a taste of it,” Katie retorted.

 The crew ooohed and wolf-whistled.  

 “For the first time, turf wars are being shoved to the side…”

She shoved Tom Trench to the side…

“…as Hell’s denizens are being lined up to travel into a host of other dimensions, including Heaven and the mortal realm. Turf wars are turning interdimensional as angels and demons scramble to claim new territory from near and far. It’s extending even to all the Nine Circles of Hell! In case you didn’t know already, we are in the First Circle.”

 The smaller screen showed demons and angels fighting in the sky, in sandstorms, and dueling with swords and spears over burning lakes and volcanoes.

“Just look at the self-proclaimed King Sir Pentious!” said Katie. “He’s fighting tooth and nail over new territory…but it appears he’s getting screwed over.”

She popped a tooth, a nail, and a screw into her mouth.

A black snake overlord threw his pinstriped wearing egg minions at an angel’s face. His eyes were red instead of their usual yellow. A black tentacle was fastened around his neck like a leash. With a slash, two angels sliced Sir Pentious’ new flying tank in half, the hunks of metal crashing to the ground. Another angel picked up the snake, wrapped him up in knots and tossed him into the fiery lake below.

“Wow, he just suffered serious burns right there,” Tom added, wincing. “He’s still cocky but perhaps not as much after his daily defeats by the one and only Radio Demon.”

“Hey, that’s me!” said Alastor, in mock surprise.

Cherri Bomb was throwing red bombs into the faces of angels and yelling out swears and jokes.

“You angels are falling down on your jobs. A bunch of swan-winged clown bitches!” Her single eye was red instead of yellow, her hair in a strawberry blonde pigtail. She wore a torn up short black dress and had bare feet instead of her usual crop top, leggings and high heels. Apparently, she had disliked her dapper dress she was forced to wear and improvised, instead. She laughed as Sir Pentious climbed out of the lake of fire, burnt and humiliated yet again.

“More coming soon after the break!” Katie added, as she threw Tom Trench against the camera screen, which cracked.

 “Those two,” Alastor mentioned as he stared some more at the screen. “All they wanted was more ratings and the latest gossip. Though I find their attitudes despicably rude, they seem to enjoy being in the spotlight like me. Their ratings went sky high, but now they’re forced to tell dad jokes every session. It’s only natural that they surrendered after I was able to have better access to the picture shows. Oh and I may have invited some woman-loving animal demons into the studio to keep her company…”

Katie screeched and stood on spider legs as demons with heads of bears, snakes, and cats pestered her with cards and flowers.

“Say your next line, Katie,” said Tom.

Katie smiled tensely and dug her sharp nails into the desk. “I am a selfish animal-abusing bitch, so I may as well go and chase cats.”

The animal demons, also with hazed eyes, jeered and cheered.

Alastor barked with laughter. “Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! That’s a swearing classic. You can guess who put that idea into her head. And no, it wasn’t my pathetic rival Vox…”

  He looked over at a man with a TV for a head, slumped onto a chair. He was no longer the confident electricity wielding overlord he once was. His screen face was cracked through the middle, both his arms cut off. Red words flashed against his dark screen: “My circuits are fried!”

“Heh, I guess that song had it all wrong,” Vox mumbled in a robotic voice of defeat, “Radio killed the TV star.”

A wild purple-haired doll demon named Velvet sobbed next to him, browsing through her phone. The formerly good reviews of Vox, Valentino and Velvet had gone sour. They were no longer the powerful villainous V’s with the aim of brainwashing the entire populace with technology and erotic propaganda. The good news for Vox was the fact that those on Earth (among many secret groups in Hell) still used cell phones, TVs, and a host of devices. (Plus porn and cyber-attacks were as popular as ever among Hell’s Dark Web.) That was one thing that the Radio Demon didn’t have complete control over.

 A rapid scurrying of feet approached.

  “Hello there!” Niffty chirped as she rushed over to the counter and hopped onto a stool.

“Greetings, little darling!” Alastor replied, looking over to her. He scanned the room, impressed. “You really spruced up this place.”

“Yes, it didn’t take too long,” she said with pride. “I had to fix that window over there because some demon threw a red cherry-looking bomb at it. I think it was a drunken imp.”

“Well, can’t help with the crazy behaviors caused by alcohol,” Alastor mentioned with a shrug.

Husk placed a dark blue bottle in front of Alastor, who took several sips from it.

“Still as good as I remember it,” he said in a satisfied tone.

“Who’s that with you?” Husk asked, taking a sip of beer.

“Just a human I picked up from another realm.”

“Oooh, how cool!” said Niffty. “It’s always a pleasure to meet new friends. Are they a man or a woman?”

“Well, it doesn’t really matter,” Husk said. “They won’t last very long down here.”

“That’s why I’m giving them a little tour of Hell. Give them something to enjoy in case…unforeseen events should occur.”

Un-mistaken mischief flashed in his red eyes when he cast them on the human visitor.

His voice switched to a casual tone as he diverted the conversation as if nothing had happened.

“So…would any of you like to share your stories of how you got here with our guest?”

Niffty raised her hand. “Sure, I’ll start!”

Husk looked hesitant and narrowed his eyes, the smile looking plastic on his face. “I’m a private person. Why should I bucking tell it to a mortal stranger?”

“It’ll be fun,” he encouraged, playfully poking Husk in the nose. “Who wouldn’t want to hear the story of how we met and how you started helping out with the hotel?”

Husk looked off to the side, ears perking up. “No one!” he rebuffed. His eyes flickered for a fraction of second.

Alastor’s tufts twitched as well at a unique sound.

From outside an open window, Alastor could hear some singing. Charlie was dancing around in her red dapper dress, her eyes in an intermediate stage of orange, pupil almost back to normal. The shadow seemed to be dancing with her, gripping onto her shoulders and staring at her with warning in his blank eyes. Every time the shadow tried to cover her mouth, Charlie would laugh evilly and frolic out of reach. The sound of her voice seemed to spur the others around the bar.

Niffty laughed. “I’ll admit, cleaning, cooking and sewing is fun and all, but wouldn’t it be amazing if I got some actual souls someday?”

Normally, Alastor loved to hear Charlie’s beautiful voice. But now, her singing had a strange effect he had not anticipated. His eyes narrowed and he gripped his microphone staff tighter. He gazed at Charlie’s bare arms and his mouth started to drool. As much as he enjoyed Charlie’s company, his gut and stomach was sending out a very different message. An all-consuming urge came over him…he imagined Charlie’s face turning from white to blue, hands squeezing her windpipe, her musical gasps for breath. Her wide-eyed look of failure, shock, and hopelessness. Demonic pieces of flesh within his teeth, coppery sweet blood filling his mouth like nectar…

 A demon with a rabbit head leaned out the window, eyes suddenly clear.

“Chaos may ensue, but hope can rise anew,” he sang along with Charlie, feet tapping along. “In the dark clouds, there’s a rainbow, pit and sky, you’re born to fly, as above, so below, you don’t know how far you can go…”

In a flash, the window slammed shut, slicing the rabbit demon’s head off like a guillotine.

Alastor leaned slightly closer to Husk and Niffty, menacing feedback emitting lightly around him like a faint scent before a storm. His smile was rigid and his unkempt yellow claws glinted in the light.

“I do advise you both to remember your roles, and your place in all of this. You may have done your parts back when I first summoned you at the hotel…but we all know that deeds in a deal never end.”

Brief panic flashed through both Niffty and Husk’s faces, neither of them making a move out of fear of their boss turning them to dust.

“Do you hear me loud and clear?”

Husk gave a curt nod after softly gulping. Niffty rapidly nodded her head. A brief sound of humming filled the space and their eyes were fully red dials once more.

“Excellent!” he said, conjuring another stool to prop his long legs on. “Now who’d like to start?”

Niffty raised her hand again. Husk sighed in defeat.

“Oh never mind, I’m just messing with you.” He playfully punched Husk who didn’t react. “I might as well tell. You two can go back to work.”

Husk and Niffty sensed it was an order.

There was a distinct sequence of all the remaining windows shutting and locking into place.

“Bye, human, it was nice meeting you!” said Niffty. “If you ever need your house cleaned up or you have some tears in your clothes, just call me and I’ll fix them up in a jiffy!” Niffty dashed off to lift vending machines to clean under them.

“Want any drinks?” Husk asked. “Costs six souls, mortal.”

A pause.

A faraway look in Alastor’s eyes as he glanced around the room, looking for anything else that might hinder his strong spell.

The cat demon shrugged and went back to drinking a mug of beer.

 “Alright then, mortal,” Alastor began, “As you can tell, Niffty and Husk are some of my lovely associates. And by associates, I mean those who are bound to my will after I make deals with them. That’s why I can summon them whenever I want. Niffty is super speedy and very skillful with the little things. Husk is strong and is a good balance to Niffty’s hyperactive behavior. I try to pick my associates carefully. I don’t just make deals when it’s not in my benefit.”

“So, about those two. Niffty first appeared from a fireplace back at the hotel. Niffty was more than happy to spruce up the place and clean it up. And I’ll admit, she does make some delicious meals, too. Man, that place really needed some re-decorating. Husk came to the hotel, after I summoned him from a casino. He was reluctant to volunteer for my charity work, but it all worked out after I gave him a cheap bottle of booze.”

  “Ah, Niffty, such a sweet little thing. She tends to be obsessed with men, so obviously, I was able to use my charismatic personality to win her over. I promised her a glorious life, free from the ensnaring flames, a life where she could meet all sorts of men and have her service recognized by the public. I often reward her good behavior with live voodoo animals she can play with. She also likes to eat them sometimes. We share our love of sewing and cooking so I say it’s a marvelous partnership!”

Alastor stretched his legs, then lowered them. He took several more sips of his drink.

“Husk and I actually met back when we were human. He was a fine chap, same as he is now. The last time I spoke with him then, he was talking about going off to war someday and something about familial problems. I wasn’t really concerned that much. He told me he died in the 1970s. He was grumpy and gambling his afterlife away in Hell. Gambling is unpredictable and very risky…there are better methods to cure your boredom. Of course, I offered him a good deal: work for me and receive all the drinks and cash you want. I also offered to help him find someone he could love. Heh, he feel for it, poor fool. I did give him some booze, but the piles of money were, in many ways, an illusion. He would gamble and win some, only to lose most of it the next day. Why pay him for his services, anyway? And finding someone to love? Ha! Nearly impossible in a place like this. He’d gamble, he’d steal some valuables, fight others in brawls on occasion. Redemption really is just a big hilarious joke.”

Alastor twirled his cane in his hand with a sigh of contentment.

 He got up from the stool. “Shall we, human?”

He led the way back outside.

 “You may be wondering why some of our main demons are wearing their regular outfits instead of the classic ones from my time. It’s simple: I’d like you to see them as how they would normally dress. A brief reminder of what life was like before…and now much better it is now.”

  Along the way, Baxter and Crymini were nearby, with red dialed eyes and creepy grins.

 The hellhound was Crymini. She had white fur with dozens of red spots along her arms and legs. Her hair was in a punk-rocker style, the tips bright pink. She wore a spiked collar and a dark short jacket. Her shirt was pink with a white skull on it. Her ears were pink and her eyes consisted of yellow sclera with pink irises. She was currently spraying red graffiti on a brick wall, the words reading “Alastor eats yo’ brains!” followed by a horns hand symbol.

 “Ah yes, Crymini the teenage Hellhound,” Alastor said. “She’s a punk rocker, a delinquent, and from what I’ve heard, likes porn more than Angel Dust. Urgh! Never thought anyone could beat him in that department. Apparently, Loona is another hellhound who is her friend, though they tend to get into fights a lot. Blitzo from I.M.P. told me. She wanted to do her own thing with Angel Dust, Cherri Bomb, and several other hellhounds. Like many, she wanted more freedom, status, drugs, violent fun, the whole nine yards. I suggested a deal from a distance, an offer for a better life, but of course, she ignored me. Which was perfectly fine. I’m not a big fan of dogs anyway. Once Angel and the Hellhounds got possessed, it’s only natural that she would follow.”

 The other demon had the head of a blue anglerfish with fins to resemble ears. His hair was dark blue with luminescent blue specks on it. Blue freckles were underneath his eyes, which had teal sclera and pink irises. He wore yellow safety goggles over his eyes. He wore a dark gray laboratory suit with yellow buttons, black boots, and black gloves on his hands. A fish esca was attached to his top hat on his head.

 Baxter was rushing in and out of a room that led to an underground lab. Inside, Alastor could see vials of blue, red, green and neon liquids bubbling in flasks and cylinder tubes. Reptile-like creatures were floating in fetal positions in large tanks emitting eerie green light. Machines hummed and clanged in the small room. A few little rat demons were navigating through a maze with no way out. It was one of two labs he had, the other one underneath the Hazbin Hotel.

Baxter stopped short. “Oh, Alastor, welcome! I can’t talk now. I have to conduct this next experiment soon. I’m working on an Elixir of Death capable of making angels dead and demons immortal. Though, I haven’t quite perfected it. My captured subjects didn’t fare too well when taking it.”

He mentioned to a pile of skeletons locked in small concrete cells.

Alastor raised an eyebrow. “Why are you running around?”

“I stayed up past two doing research. I have to run to wake myself up,” he said, between breaths.

“Suit yourself.”

Baxter dashed into the room and shut the door before bonding down the stairs.

“Unpredictable fellow,” he mentioned.

 “So that’s Hell’s mad scientist, Baxter,” said Alastor. “Apparently his name means ”baker,” which is ironic. From what I’ve heard, he prefers being alone and also doesn’t like being touched. He collaborates with that pathetic snake guy, an 1800’s inventor from the Industrial Revolution. From rumors I heard about him, he died on Earth on a boat, similar to the Titanic. They say he drowned after he got poisoned by one of his inventions. He was an insane inventor, helped with what was called Nazi experiments on innocent people. Prison studies, dangerous medications, shocking humans and animals, trying to use their blood to make a clone army…things like that. Apparently Baxter made A.I.s as well. Again, all that technology stuff gives me a headache. Now he mostly keeps to himself and makes robots, weapons, and poisons for our army to use against the angels.”

The tour continued on. A lone demon got too close and Alastor trapped the poor soul inside a conjured radio.

At one point, Mimzy and Rosie walked along and waved at Alastor.

 The overlord Rosie was tall and skeletal, wearing a pink fancy hat with feathers and dried flowers along the top. She wore a pink dress and bore a smile of sharp teeth, her eyes red instead of the usual black.

 Mimzy was a short and chubby woman with large thighs, short blonde hair, and big eyes with pink pupils and black sclera. Well…those were her eye colors before being replaced by red dials among circles of black. A headband with a pink feather was perched on her head. She wore a pink dazzling flapper dress along with a pink and purple necklace.

 “Alastor!” Mimzy called. “Singing session same time tomorrow night?”

“You bet, my darling dame!” he replied.

The two women wandered away.

 “Yes,” said Alastor, “Those are my dear friends, Mimzy and Rosie! Rosie used to be a harsh CEO at a sewing and clothing factory back when she was alive. Making her employees work double shifts and bathing in her victim’s blood at night. Haha! It’s so rare you kind special ladies like that. She enjoys killing and having others do her bidding, like me. She can be stern and elegant a lot of the time, but she does have a soft spot for me. We like to have fun and sing our hearts out and slice out the hearts of others while we’re at it. Good times, for sure. She owns an emporium not too far from here.”

   “Mimzy loves singing, doughnuts, and jazz. She owned a jazz club back when she was alive. In fact, we both knew each other in New Orleans. She and I used to sing, dance, and drink all the time…and we still do, occasionally. She had sex with men a few times and killed her abusive husband…perhaps that’s why she ended up down here.”

He laughed out loud.

“But there was one fateful day in a bar…around the 1920’s, I believe. She wanted to be more than just friends and started getting too touchy-feely with me. I told her I wasn’t interested in going that far, but she wouldn’t listen. She…”

He glared at the mortal, clearing his throat. “You must promise not to tell another soul. The only reason why I’m telling you is…”

 A pause.

 “You look confused…” he remarked.

 Alastor scoffed. “Nonono, it’s not because I like you, mortal, if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s because you won’t get a chance to tell anyone else after I’ve ended your life! Hahahaha!”

His laugh sounded forced. “Oops, spoiler alert.”

 Alastor’s face turned serious, his smile straining after several minutes. His radio voice dropped. “You see… one night at the bar, she had a little too much to drink. Before I knew what was happening, she slammed me against a wall in a dark corner and just kissed me with a wild look in her eyes. So surprising and so gross…definitely not casual friendship. Before I could get away, she gave me a crushing hug and…touched my privates down there…”

 The air suddenly became cold. Hell appeared to be darker than it usually was. Alastor’s face seemed to turn a paler gray.

“Ever since my father took advantage of me…I felt… so strangely helpless. She had betrayed me and invaded my boundaries. And of course, nobody else cared. I shoved her off and took out my knife. At that point, she deduced that I was the serial killer, the “Deer Devil of New Orleans.”

“She raced toward the phone to call for help. I didn’t let her get that far. We took our fight to a dark alley nearby. I pinned her down and made several long gashes on her neck and arms. Though her screaming was pleasing to hear, I didn’t want anyone else to notice. I watched the life leave her, while squeezing her plump neck. Thankfully, I was able to carry her body back home and devour the rest of her, there.”

 The Radio Demon stared forlornly at the crimson sky. “She was quite juicy and tender.”

 “…and in case you’re wondering, we’ve talked about it and we’ve decided to forget the past and enjoy our afterlives here. It’s like we’re getting a second chance, albeit a bizarre one. We still hang out sometimes when we’re not busy terrorizing others or singing while looking in the mirror.”

 Charlie walked over to Alastor, his shadow following close behind. Her demon dolls-turned bodyguards Razzle and Dazzle followed her, bat wings fluttering, antlers replacing their usual horns on their heads.

 Alastor’s radio voice returned. “Alrighty then. Now that you know all about the current denizens of Hell around here, I’d say this tour is reaching a finale.”

“Enough is enough, Alastor!” Charlie called, horns protruding from her head, her eyes pink and flames raging around her. “You will end your rein of tyranny right now…and you will let that poor mortal go!”

 “Ok then,” Alastor said in a mocking tone, holding up his hands. “The tour was over anyway. I guess I’ll just take my leave. Before I do, I have something for you, sweet Charlie.”

 He tossed several objects in the air, which landed and rolled slightly by her feet. They revealed themselves after the shadows moved away. She was staring down into the green eyed, green face of her arrogant ex-boyfriend, Seviathan, and his gray skinned sister, Helsa, her rival. Or more accurately…their severed heads.

She let out an ear-piercing scream of fright and anger, reeling back. “You…you charming traitorous bastard! You killed my high school prom date!”

“I thought you loved Vaggie, or more likely, me,” Alastor mentioned. “He and Helsa hated you and your family. They thought your little redemption idea was ridiculous. Though it was fun seeing the Eldritches and your family argue, but that’s not the point. They served their purposes, they were in the way, so I disposed of them…all for you, dear.”

“I…I can’t believe this!” she cried.  She wished her parents Lucifer, and Lilith were there to help her. She turned to the mortal. “Listen, you have to run and return to your own world, now! I’ll do what I can to cover you.”

Unfortunately, Alastor, his shadow, and all his minions had other ideas. Slowly all the denizens of Hell that he had introduced before, were arriving from every direction. They surrounded Charlie, Alastor, and the thrones. With grinning faces, they eagerly anticipated their master’s fight and victory.

 “Well then, my dear human, it was quite a pleasure hosting this tour of Hell. Now, I’m afraid, we must say our goodbyes. I can’t have you wondering around, telling everyone about what you witnessed.”

He held out his hand, the world turning red with static and symbols hovering around.

“Make a deal to be my slave and perhaps I’ll let you live.”

The mortal didn’t shake.

The static cleared. “I see. Well, in hindsight, that was a smart choice. After all, loss of free will is an even worse fate than nonexistence. Besides, having living souls in Hell for too long…that’s a major no-no. If things were “normal,” the man up there would’ve taken you to the void and punished us all for letting mortals discover this place. Angels and demons and humans meeting together…oh what a catastrophe that would be! It may mean a rift in space-time, even an end to one of more of the realms. Now, there’s one more thing to do before every world becomes mine…”

 Black tentacles glowing with red auras sprouted up from the ground around him, twitching side to side like ancient serpentine creatures. His eyes turned to red dials once more, his black antlers arching out on either side, past his head and tufts. His shadow transformed as well, turning into a shadowy wendigo beast with large claws and a sinister smile. He spoke in a low demonic voice:

 “Feast on the flesh of Charlie…and you!”

    Today’s Specials: Jambalaya, Venison, Charlie…and You…

  Tears flowed down Charlie’s pink sclera eyes as she stared at the monster in front of her. Alastor, standing posed like a gentleman, but his grin giving him the look of a madman. His shadow towered above him, claws spread out and antlers extended in dark curves.

The man whom she had so blindly trusted to help with her hotel, who cared for no one but himself…

It was at this point that Charlie told herself the harsh undeniable truth…

 The Radio Demon could never be redeemed.

 Charlie shot blasts of hot blue flames that temporarily made the wendigo shadow vanish. She was careful not to let the shadow spirits get too close to her. With her horns on top of her head, fangs bared, Charlie danced gracefully as she evaded and sliced apart every black tentacle that came her way. Splatters of blood and tentacle guts stained her red tuxedo shirt, but she was too preoccupied to care. Her powers are equally matched to Alastor’s chaotic bursts of red electricity and voodoo symbols. For every voodoo deity Alastor called upon, Charlie had another deity in mind to counteract it. She had even called upon good voodoo Loas, which seemed to work the best against Alastor’s magic.

She glanced over at the helpless mortal, and a flicker of hope came to her.

Perhaps there was a way to tip this stalemate to her favor.

 Charlie concentrated hard, eyes closed, speaking an ancient incantation in backwards Latin. The possessed demons on the sidelines grinned while also taking some steps back. In smooth motions, elegant black feathery wings grew from Charlie’s back, spreading out and igniting in pink flames. Pulling out a holy dagger from her belt, she spoke a few more lines before cutting her palm. Her red blood, infused with power, fell to the ground, right in the center of the fiery pentagram below her.

 Charlie glanced over at the mortal. She had never seen this different kind of mortal but she had a feeling they and their kind were special all on their own.

“Inside of every demon…” Charlie began.

“…is a rainbow,” the mortal finished.

  The pentagram glowed a white - blue and the flames rose up into the air. The light grew in intensity as Charlie sung a loud clear song about peace and redemption. She hoped that the demons would finally learn to appreciate her and her songs. Full of power that had previously been untapped, Charlie was in her element. In a desperate attempt to save her kingdom, she had utilized her greatest strength: the powers of music and love.

 Alas, her magic powers slowly worked…but in a way she hadn’t expected. For instead of Hell’s residents enjoying her music…they had all burst into raucous laughter and shook their heads at the sheer silliness of it all.

“That was utter shit!” Katie shrieked as the red glow from her eyes vanished.

“You call that music?” retorted Crymini, the punk rock loving hellhound.

“It needs to be 100% more sultry,” Angel Dust mentioned, as his eyes turned back to black and white. “I mean, cheesy songs like that are just sad!”

Alastor stood in shock as everyone around him were breaking free from his influence. Even Lucifer and Lilith had emerged from a newly created portal that replaced the previous pentagram that Charlie had made.

Charlie’s parents lifted themselves out of the portal, seeing their daughter for the first time in a while. Having used up much of her power, the princess collapsed to her knees.

“Charlotte!” called Lucifer. He and Lilith ran over and embraced their daughter.

“Mom, Dad, you’re alive!” Charlie said, her black wings fading away.

“Your powers…” Lilith said, surprised in tears. “You unleashed your demonic and angelic abilities at the same time.”

“I…I didn’t know I could…”

Lucifer stood up and glared at Alastor. He spoke to her again. “Of course you could, it’s what we’ve taught you in your lessons. To be a ruler of Hell is to be willing to make sacrifices and show others what you’re fully capable of.”

Lilith helped Charlie stand as the portal in the ground closed.

Alastor glanced in worry, now that he was outnumbered. Although he had his powers, there were weapons the others had that could still kill him. Hiding in the shadows for long periods of time wasn’t his idea of fun…if it wasn’t a last resort, then it was cowardly for him to do so.

With everyone back to normal, the odds weren’t nearly as favorable. The spirits would not be pleased if this kept up for long.

Alastor’s shadow, Rotlasa hovered and scowled above his head like a vulture, drumming his fingers in impatience. With all the deals he had made, the drawback was in sight. Unless Alastor could keep Hell’s souls in his control…then the spirits would gladly take his own.

“I swear I have a plan,” he muttered. “Just give me one more chance to figure something out.”

“I wonder what will happen if Alastor’s powers get absorbed into us?” Cerf asked, in excitement.

“How about when?” Muse added in a radio voice. “We’ll finally be free of him and we’ll get to roam on our own!”

“No more death threats or constant replays of human memories to shift through,” Cerf added. “I kill and wreak havoc on my own terms!”

“And, I can finally take some credit and be my own radio host,” Muse mentioned. “How about I do Yo Mama jokes instead of Dad jokes? Ha! That’d be even better!”

“You have 10 seconds to beg for mercy,” Alastor warned, sharp claws out.

Muse cleared his throat. “Yo Mama so fat, Hell’s population couldn’t fit on her!” Muse and Cerf burst into laughter. Even Vaggie had to smile at that one.

“Make that 3 seconds,” he growled.

  “Everyone is coming back to their senses,” Charlie breathed. The demon citizens shook their heads and talked to each other in confusion and outrage.

Charlie gasped, a final plan occurring to her. “We have to destroy Alastor’s staff!”

“We don’t have our powers,” Lucifer growled.

Charlie panted for breath, turning back to her regular form. “I can’t…too tired…”

Vaggie raced over and embraced Charlie. “I thought all was lost.”

Charlie nuzzled close to her girlfriend. “I think things will be okay,” she said.

Husk, Niffty, Angel, Vaggie, all of their friends formed a protective circle around Charlie and the royal family. Vox, Valentino, and Velvet stood off to the side.

“It’s all your fault, Alastor!” Vox bellowed in a robotic voice.

Sir Pentious hissed in anger off to the side in a pile of cracked egg minions.

Vaggie had her spear at the ready. Angel had two guns pointed at the Radio Demon. Even Husk and Niffty stood defiantly.

Charlie stood up as well.

“This…this is for us, and this is for the Happy Hotel!”

“Hazbin Hotel,” Husk corrected.

As Charlie and the others closed in on Alastor, he prepared himself to use all his powers to knock them back and escape. He knew it was impossible to make any more deals at this point.

It seemed like his conquering days were over.

Then he narrowed his eyes and saw someone at the opening to the living realm. Transparent silver wings on the person faded as they reached a hand forward, through the computer screen.

 A black tentacle shot out so fast, it appeared as a dark blur to onlookers. The familiar world on earth grew farther and farther away…a forceful tug and a rapid decent back into Hell. A landing on the ground by Alastor’s black pointed shoes. Alastor towered over the mortal, his hair and head almost blending into the red sky. He peered down with curious eyes.

Bond tightly by the tentacle…slowly being raised up to a standing position…

“Change of plans,” he said. “I’m not going to kill you just yet.”

“Step away from that common mortal!” Lucifer demanded. Alastor ignored him.

“Perhaps there’s a reason why you humans aren’t allowed down here. And why did it seem that you strengthened Charlie’s little spell a moment ago?”

No answer.

“Answer me, human!” he spat before something sharp cut across his torso. He roared in pain, still keeping the mortal bond in place.

“Nice shot, Vaggie,” Charlie said, the harpoon landing on the ground.

“I meant to strike him in the heart,” Vaggie complained.

 Alastor seethed and sank to his knees. Bullets from Angel’s gun hit him in the chest and head. He growled at Angel, through the smoke. There were bags under his eyes due to using up so much of his magic power. Yet, he could still feel some extra reserves coursing through his core and veins.

 His staff lit up again and his eyes turned to red dials. Static and jazz music filled the air, going specifically into the mortal’s head. The world turned red as voodoo symbols floated around.

“You should feel a lightness in your head and body. As you gaze into my eyes, you’ll be relaxed and...tuned in as it were. Don’t be alarmed if you find yourself dancing and swaying a bit.”

 The mortal’s arms suddenly moved against their will. A lone demon appeared from a portal in the ground, a sinner.

 Alastor handed the mortal a knife. “Kill him and eat him,” he ordered.

The mortal closed their eyes, even as their hand grabbed hold of the knife handle. They dug in their feet, trying to run the other way. Their body slowly turned in the direction of the helpless demon, a small blue creature with six legs and a deer’s head. The knife appeared to be stuck in their right hand, no matter how hard they shook it in protest.

The mortal was thrust forward as if on puppet strings, jabbing the knife into the poor sinner. The demon yelped and choked before going limp.

The mortal yelled in shock and horror.

A dark blue hand was sliced off by an invisible force, flying straight into the mortal’s mouth. Coppery taste and squishy flesh. The mortal recoiled and spit it out.

 Alastor grinned. “Congratulations, you’re a murdering cannibal!”

The mortal felt sick to their stomach, the spell soon lifted.

 He turned to Charlie and the others. “This proves that inside of everyone, there’s a lost cause! Especially for humans!”

The other characters looked on at the mortal in disgust and pity…or at least that’s how well the illusion magic was working.

 “You’re a failed experiment!” Baxter spoke.

“Not even I would want to fuck you,” Angel said.

“You idiot, letting that shitlord get a hold of you!” Vaggie yelled.

“What a shameful, evil act. How does it feel to be such a failure?” Katie asked with a laugh, as Tom joined in.

Husk lifted two middle fingers.

“You’re quite a mess,” Niffty added.

“So not cool,” Cherri Bomb added, shaking her head.

Charlie was crying. “I thought…there was goodness in you. I was going to invite you to the Hazbin Hotel, with high hopes. It breaks my heart.”

 The mortal covered their ears and sank to the ground on their knees, willing for the illusions to go away.

 Alastor laughed manically and snapped his fingers.

 A horde of dark shadows flew from underground in newly formed cracks along the street. Others descended from portals in the air. The demons yelled and swatted them away, but there were too many to count. Electricity and fire briefly held them off, but, like the undead, they kept popping up. Overwhelmed by the animated straw dolls underfoot and the shadows in every direction, it wasn’t too long before the denizens began to get tired.

One lone imp demon was unlucky enough to get cornered by the shadow spirits. One of them appeared to be made of black straw and had small triangular horns. Drops of blood fell from Alastor’s palms. The shadow’s eyes glowed red and in an instant, it gnawed itself inside the demon. The imp screamed and thrashed as the shadow traveled through his nerves and veins. His eyes briefly turned into red dials again before they rolled back into his head. Voodoo symbols appeared on his black, white and orange body, glowing red and burning like brands. The imp’s head leaned back with a loud crack as he let out one last agonized scream. His mouth was open wide…jets of dark light and electricity escaped through his mouth, nose, and empty white eyes. The imp’s dark astral form took on a similar imp shape. The soul was immediately pounced on by nearby spirits in the air and consumed. The imp’s body fell with a thud, face first, the voodoo symbols vanishing. The spirits who had taken the imp’s soul cackled in satisfaction.

 Unlike having their powers sucked into Alastor’s staff, this method resulted in the victim’s death and loss of the soul.

 Several small tentacles and spirits made their way to Alastor’s torso and began to repair the gaping wound made by Vaggie’s harpoon. Muscle and nerves realigned themselves and the skin started to close. As the shadows stole more souls, Alastor’s wounds healed faster.

 All the denizens fell to the ground as they tried to fight and escape. Katie Killjoy yelled as two spirits lifted her into the air, her skeletal white legs flailing.

“You filthy scum creatures!” she barked. “Take your hands off me!”

Several shadow spirits took the forms of animals: bears, wolves, and cats. They clawed and scratched at her red dress, the fabric ripping away. Even in her full demon form, she was still held in place. Tom Trench was thrown into her lap, supported by clawed limps rising up to hold the helpless duo.

“Guess I found your hotspot then?” Tom asked with a nervous laugh.

Katie slapped him across the face. “Jackass in a mask, I’ll fucking bury you alive!”

Apparently, her threat didn’t come to pass, as the shadows and tendrils attacked them some more. After their dark souls escaped from their bodies, the shadows and voodoo dolls eagerly chased after them. A still bodied sitting Vox was tied up in wires, his head screen black and cracked. Blood trailed down Alastor’s arm as he used more of his magic to appease the dark spirits. If this was a way to go, at least he’s do it on his own terms.

 Husk lay sprawled against the wall, both his red wings lying down in front of him. Alastor’s shadow had mercilessly ripped them off. He held a shivering Niffty in his furry arms as more shadows came to take their souls away.

“Fuck my life,” Husk growled as the shadows closed in.

    Baxter was hanging by a fishhook inserted into his mouth. He was held by the tentacles under the water, the mad scientist struggling to breathe. He, too, went limp after his soul was stolen.

Hellhounds howled in desperation as they tried to claw through fiery kennels near a burning lake. They, too fell prey to the spirits. The imps, including I.M.P. with horns cut off, created portals to earth and heaven in a red-eyed daze.

 Even Lucifer and Lilith were no match for the shadows and Alastor’s power. The Radio Demon sliced off both their heads with his staff…and destroyed them using Lucifer’s destructive powers.

 Mimzy and Rosie were frozen in dance poses on stage, tendrils lifting their mouths in smiles. Their bodies grew cold and stiff as the shadows arrived and claimed their prizes.

 Valentino, Arackniss, and Angel’s family were wrapped up in a web of tendrils. Henroin was hanging dead from a tree. Sir Pentious was nothing but a skeleton, his black snake skin wrapped around cracked Egg Bois.

There was a series of sickening snaps as several black tentacles ripped off Angel Dust’s four arms. He coughed up blood and gasped for breath. No amount of drugs would help him escape this reality, which was soon coming to an end.

He stared with wide eyes as Alastor walked over, his wide grin present.

“You still have feelings for me now?” he asked with a laugh.

“Creepy bastard!” Angel spat. “Go suck a rotten dick and choke on strawberries. You’re missing out…on me.”

“I don’t like either of them,” he said.

“You don’t like strawberries…or me?” Angel weakly laughed. “Nice joke.”

A shadow hovered over Angel’s face… a black boot. It landed down hard on Angel’s neck. A crunch and a gargled gasp.

Alastor absent-mindedly touched the bullet hole on his forehead. “Allow me to return the favor.”

He got out a black and red shotgun and shot Angel square in the head. Shadows taking the form of anti-LGBT gang members surrounded him and ripped out his essence.

 Charlie was bond and surrounded by thick black tentacles. They were wrapped around her wrists, torso and legs.

Alastor walked over to Charlie and cupped his hands on her cheeks.

“You have been quite a lovely friend and a beautiful demon belle,” he whispered, “but I’m afraid our time together has come to an end.”

He snapped his fingers and Charlie’s clothes vanished. Alastor’s shadow stared hungrily at her pale naked body. Charlie turned red in the face and struggled against his tight grip. Shadowy claws reached for her bare breasts, giving them firm squeezes. The shadow snickered. Fire spewed from Charlie’s mouth, causing the hands to squirm wildly and retreat.

 Charlie’s arms were pinned to her sides from Alastor’s shadow.

“You can’t do this! Let me go! I demand you!”

Static buzzed through the air as his eyes glowed red in pleasure. But it was a different kind than that of lust. It was a crazed thrill of having captured prey at his mercy. His microphone staff lit up once again.

“Farewell, little princess.”

 Sharp yellow teeth pierced through skin and sunk into her chest. Charlie’s shrill screams echoed throughout the city. Vaggie screeched as she tried to rush to her friend’s aide. Tendrils held her in place, one troublesome one snaking around her butt. Charlie’s yells and Alastor’s laughter were broadcast in every direction. The coppery smell of blood reached his nostrils; he sniffed and inhaled the scent.

“Her screams are just as musical as her voice,” he thought.

Alastor used a knife to trace crimson wet trails along her arms and thighs. Blood spilled down against white, like drips of paint on a canvas. The effect was mesmerizing to him. Killing not only was proof of his dominance, it was also his way of expressing his gruesome unique methods of creativity. This also applied when he was alive. He wanted to be known for what he did…as every victim was different, so to, were the methods Alastor used to leave his impression.

 Chunks of meat and muscle were soon detached, soon entering in between his teeth and into his mouth. The flesh was tender pork, the blood juicy nectar. He ran his long tongue through the wound, anxious to lap up more blood and savor the taste.

Charlie screamed so loud, her voice soon cracked. Vaggie screamed with her, her eye red, tears flowing down her gray face. All Charlie could do for the next several minutes was to let out pained groans and will herself not to throw up. Black spots danced across her vision as more blood was lost.

“You really are sweet in so many ways, my dear,” Alastor mentioned as he slurped up warm blood and swallowed.

Charlie turned toward the direction of the Hazbin Hotel. “Help…somebody…please,” she wheezed. She extended her shaking hand, her wrist still wrapped up in black tendrils. Vaggie and Charlie reached toward each other, tendrils keeping them apart.

Shadows surrounding Vaggie took the form of anti-lesbian thugs and rapists, representing the ones who had brutally killed her when she was alive.

“V-Vaggie…” Charlie gasped. “I…”

“I love you…” Vaggie breathed. “I fucking love you with all my heart.”

“Love…you, Vaggie…nonononono!” Charlie’s voice rose in desperation.

Charlie saw Vaggie’s yellow eye one last time before she was consumed by darkness.

With a loud crunch, Alastor’s teeth soon dove into Charlie’s neck. Her yellow eyes widened, breathing in pained gasps,

Her body became paler, beginning to go limp. Voodoo symbols appeared on her body and her eyes turned red.

“Look at me,” he purred.

With the last of the tears, she stared in fear at Alastor’s red dialed eyes. Her chest felt constricted, burning and throbbing pain. Alastor’s mouth and teeth were stained red.

“I’m always…chasing rainbows,” she sang softly, clinging onto a last thread of hope.

Blackness and static overlapped her vision.

“You know you’re never fully dressed without a smile,” Alastor said in a low demonic voice.

Charlie’s eyes rolled back and she went deathly still. Alastor tore out her heart and proceeded to eat it in one gulp.

Alastor stared long and hard at her, gently placing her body on the ground. He pushed back her curly blonde hair. He cupped her face with a hand, the skin cold. Her face and eyes were devoid of life, caked with cuts and blood. Alastor looked at his yellow stained nails almost in disbelief.

She had been the last person to perish in the familiar Pentagram City in Hell. In the distance, a few Archangels flew off in the distance, searching for demons in other areas.

 He had killed her.

Beautiful princess Charlie, his friend and associate. The one who could light up the room with her smile and songs. Her faith and hope for goodness had no limits. She had invited him into the hotel and created a group of outcast demons in the hope they would bond closer together.

Charlie, Angel, Husk, Niffty, even Vaggie, had accepted him while others either hated or feared him.

 His smile cracked. He sank to his knees. His staff clattered to the ground, the radio cutting off, sparks flying from the damaged microphone. For the first time in forever, his smile sloped down into a frown. Watery drops spilled down with a vengeance from his eyes, all the emotions he had suppressed, crashing down like a wild wave.

 Alastor’s mixed emotions sent the shadows into a frenzy. They swirled fast around him and entered into his head.

 Alastor was surrounded by darkness. Distinct sounds of barking made his heart speed up, despite the illusion.

The shadows around him turned into dogs, large snarling creatures with infected teeth. A hunter stood among them, rifle aimed right at him. Trees emerged and blocked his path, forming a sort of cage.

“Do not take my soul!” he yelled. “I gave you all of Hell’s souls!”

The shadow hunter opened his eyes, which glowed red.

“You never had one to begin with. There’s still more out in Hell. You’re an utter failure, Alastor Hazbin.”

The word was used as a mocking surname. Strangely enough, the voice sounded just like his father. Goosebumps traveled down Alastor’s skin. He hadn’t expected the shadows to turn on him so unexpectedly.

 A woman’s voice called out for help. “Stop!” she yelled. Dark skinned lady in a red cotton dress. A man with white skin, white suit, Christian necklace around his neck. He appeared to yell in a drunken rage and slapped her hard. She fell with a yelp against the black ground.

 “Mama?” Alastor called. He ran over, but the images faded.

“It’s never enough,” said one of the shadow dogs, as they surrounded him again.

“We’re always hungry for more,” growled another dog, inching closer to Alastor.

“We Loas at your beck and call,” said a dog.

“Serving you was our purpose.”

“Was?!” he spat, indignant.

“Oh sorry, sir, it is our purpose…or is it?”

The shadow canines circled around him, barely noticeable in the black.

“I’m your master. I’ll send you into the sun for this ungrateful, uncouth behavior.”

“Yes, we both made a deal,” said Alastor’s shadow. Cerf and Muse stood on either side of his counterpart.

“We gave you magic and your ability to broadcast,” he said. “You succeeded in your purpose and desire to take over Hell and be immersed in endless entertainment. Murder and rule everyone at your will. That’s all you wanted, right?”

Alastor stood silent.

“Remember that 10% of power you gave us in exchange for your gifts?” the shadow asked. “That allowed us to travel to Hell and eventually mess around with people’s heads. Heheheh…including your own.”

“You thought you were all high and mighty up there,” said one of the dogs.

“Indeed, your confidence has made you good at making deals with others,” said the hunter.

Alastor snapped his fingers, but the illusion stayed in place. “Get to the point!”

“You should know that deals come with benefits and costs for both sides,” said Alastor’s shadow. “We shadows have dwelled in the darkness for millennia. Nothing but a passing thought to other worlds. Spreading ourselves to other realms…hoping to consume souls and envelop the skies in eternal darkness.”

“Our vengeance for our kind…and a way to fight the light,” growled the hunter.

“One avenger and trickster to another,” said a grinning shadow. “You might continue to be useful. Our king, our model, our weapon… our bait!

 The dogs pounced on him, dark mouths tearing into his flesh. Alastor screamed, flailing to try and get the dogs off him.

The hunter cocked his gun and grinned. “Open Season for you, O’ Deer,” he said. “Have fun wallowing in your misery.”

A blast rang out, Alastor falling as something painful sped through his head…

 Alastor woke up, flat on the ground. Hell was deathly empty, a ghetto ghost town. He glanced over.

“Mortal? You still here?” He stomped over, smile back on his face, eyes bloodshot. “It’s just you and me now in Pentagram City. It appears you’ve seen me at my weakest. Therefore, I cannot allow you to live.”

   You Are What He Eats

 The mortal could hear Alastor’s shoes clacking on the asphalt as he slowly made his way nearby. His antlers were extended past his head and his right eye displayed a moving red radio dial. A dark hole caked with blood peered from between his eyes. Small tentacles slithered up to his forehead and made their way inside the hole, trying to repair the wound.

His red dress coat was torn and stained with blood. His red and black hair was matted, his monocle lopsided and cracked from the battles. The mortal was surprised he didn’t collapse right then and there. His eyes showed clear signs of fatigue. The sounds of an old broken down radio emitted from his mouth and the cracked microphone staff. A few tendrils of dark power seeped from it.  

 “I heard that up in your world, there’s a deadly virus going on. I saw it on the picture show the other day. Perhaps I could make you blind, erase your memories and send you back up to make you sick.”

The mortal’s face said it all, they were pleading to go back.

“But then again, you’ve been a great source of entertainment for me. I mean, I’ve told you all my stories and how Hell fell into my hands. After you’re gone, I think I’ll rest for a long while before checking out the other circles of Hell.”

 Alastor let out a sigh. “You know…since you’ve been so well-behaved, I think I’ll give you a…more merciful death than I had previously intended. If you’re wondering what it was, I was slowly going to crush you to death with a giant radio but, now that I think about it, that sounds boring. Unoriginal.”

 Alastor sighed. “While I’m thinking about it, how about some dinner? I’ll have my shadow servants make venison and Jambalaya. Think of it as your last meal. How’s that sound?”

The mortal was silent, too sacred to even nod.

 “I’ll take that as a yes. Splendid!” He clapped his hands and several horned spirits made of black straw traveled through the air, their bodies moving up and down in wave-like motions. The kitchen from the Hazbin Hotel appeared outside, the brick walls cracked on either end, outlined in green lines. The started chopping up vegetables on a cutting board, boiling a pot of water on the stove and getting a table ready. One spirit traveled through a fridge and brought out frozen deer meat.

“Leftovers are the best,” he added.

 Before long, Alastor’s shadow was holding a large white plate of the gumbo cuisine: deer meat slices, pink shrimp with tails, white rice, peppers, and other vegetables. The plate was set on the table in front of the mortal.

It smelled so good that the mortal sat down and picked up a fork. “Bon appetit,” Alastor said.

The mortal said thank you and dug in as Alastor stood and watched.

Yummy mixture of tasty food in a creamy sauce…the mortal didn’t realize how hungry they were until now. Though they were worried what fate would await them, that didn’t stop them from cleaning their plate.

Alastor grinned as the mortal helped themself to seconds. The mortal turned and narrowed their eyes, glancing at the food suspiciously.

Having read their mind, Alastor mentioned, “No, don’t worry, the food’s not poisoned. If it were, well, you’d be dead already. Haha.”

“Why aren’t you eating?”

“I made this dish for you. I have more I’ll eat later on.”

 Though they were still suspicious, they did their best to enjoy the meal in front of them. After several more mouthfuls, the mortal felt something grip the back of their neck. It felt like a clawed hand. Static filled the air and voodoo symbols hovered around. Tentacles quickly pinned the mortal down, wrapping around their waist and handcuffing their hands and feet.

Alastor’s shadow overlapped his dark hand with Alastor’s helping him channel his remaining power. “Fortunately, this kind of magic should be easy and temporary…not that I’ll need it for very long.”

Before the mortal could ask what was going on, they felt their body morphing and changing. They felt themselves moving slightly forward…seeming to fall almost. They were shrinking…could that be the reason why the mash up of food seemed to grow bigger, taking up their vision like staring at a food commercial close to a TV?

They landed softly onto the plate, the food cushioning their fall. They were now the size of a small baby, not too much bigger than the shrimp and vegetable slices around them. Their body was nude, and full of goosebumps. He had never seen shrimp, meat, or any food this close-up before. It was like looking through a microscope and seeing the details on every colorful surface.

 Unfortunately, the tentacles had also shrunken with the mortal…and would not let go.

 Demonic laughter rumbled from above, a bone rattling sound. The red eyed man sat down in the same seat the mortal had sat in before. He wrapped a red napkin around his neck and held a silver fork in his left hand.

He spoke in a whisper, which still sounded fairly loud.

“I believe I mentioned before that humans taste even sweeter than deer and demons. It’s one reason I kept killing my victims when I was alive. I couldn’t miss a great opportunity like this, not when all the excitement made me so hungry.”

The mortal screamed and struggled to break free. They were held in place.

“Count yourself lucky. Not everyone gets to die from me in this way. You should be thankful I’m providing you with this fatal reward.”

  Alastor was surly a crazed madman. Calling this fate a rewarding way to go?

Four sharp silver prongs descended from above. The mortal bit their lip and closed their eyes…

 …Only to open them and see that the fork had skewered a nearby shrimp instead. The shrimp rose up with the fork and disappeared inside the demon’s maw. He appeared to be enjoying his favorite food…or rather, all his favorite foods combined together. The fork descended again, this time landing into a chunk of red deer meat.

“This is so delicious!” he said. “Probably the best meal I’ve had in a while…maybe even since I was alive.”

The mortal cried and whimpered. With another stab, Alastor scooped up a pile of orange coated rice, a dark pink shrimp tail and a slice of red pepper. He savored every bite and took his time.

 With wide eyes, the mortal realized he was dragging this out on purpose.

 Alastor giggled and poked the human playfully in the stomach with his fork before moving on to lift up some sausage and rice with the fork. Red blood coated some parts of the fork and plate.

 All too soon, the large white plate was nearly clean. One last scoop of food and it was empty.

 Ice cold dread spread through their gut as Alastor grinned with an open mouthed smile.

 “Now, the best for last.”

  With sickening sounds, the sharp prongs were stabbed into the mortal’s back. They felt like thin hooks piercing through blood, nerves and muscle.

 “Farewell, dear morsel…remember to smile and stay tuned.”

  The screams of “Let me go!” and bellowing in pain did nothing but spur the demon further. The mortal felt themselves being lifted up and held just in front of a row of sharp yellow teeth. The teeth parted, revealing a long lavender tongue and a hole of black. His hot breath reeked of rotten flesh, coffee, liquor, and very faintly of cigarette smoke. Against their will, the human was brought closer and closer. The world briefly turned dark as sharp fangs and the flexible muscle gripped onto the mortal, pulling them in head-first. The fork prongs were removed and the mortal collapsed onto a lavender surface coated with taste buds.  More blood spilled out, merging with saliva and vanishing. Chunks of muscle and flesh had been ripped off via the fangs but the mortal was too shocked and scared to care.

 Saliva swept in from every direction, soaking the mortal in a watery slimy mess. The tongue moved around different areas of the mortal’s body, lapping up their scent and flavor. The mortal was then moved around throughout the cavernous mouth, sometimes against a wall of tissue, other times next to the row of closed fangs in the dark. At one point, the mortal got a close up view of the roof of the mouth. A dangling uvula tissue hung before the gaping tunnel, the esophagus down below. The process seemed to go on forever…it was to the Radio Demon’s liking. The mortal wondered why they weren’t dead then and there. Then they realized their “special” fate: Alastor was going to swallow them whole.

 Not too long after, the mortal was forcefully pushed back by the tongue and toward the back of the throat. Running did no good, they were pushed back like they had been hit by a wave. The surface was too slick for any footage to grab onto. It was as fruitless as trying to escape a hole, with the ground slippery like black ice. For every moment of their hands, they would slip further back.

 The mortal let out one last scream and was soon on their way down. Contracting muscles squished the mortal on all sides, helping to further the descent. The boiling pit of the upper stomach was not too far below. What would their family and friends think of when they saw the mortal missing? They certainly would never think that they had been pulled in by an all-powerful demon from a cartoon web series. They would be digested, satisfying Alastor’s appetite, and not a soul would know.

 Down and down they went. Random philosophical thoughts entered their mind. They remembered the shrimp, deer, sausage, rice and various vegetables. All of them were once living breathing things. It was a stark reminder that no matter how much humans revealed in their intelligence and the belief that they were the superior species, death would always bring them together. In this case, the human, the shrimp, deer, grains and vegetables had lived their vastly different lives on Earth and were all going to the same place. It was a strange comfortable thought, knowing that though they would die, they would not go down alone.

  The mortal died instantly once they made contact with the acid…it was akin to plummeting into lava.

 Alastor licked his lips, his eyes glowing red with pleasure. He rubbed his belly in satisfaction before standing up. One of the shadow creatures climbed up his leg and dove into his jacket. The creature poked it’s dark head out. Alastor pat the spirit on the head and tickled it under the chin. The creature croaked affectionately before traveling up and resting on his shoulder.

“At least I still have you guys,” he said. “Well then, there’s still much more to be done. Heaven’s in chaos but still hard to get…but not for long. The imps have invaded Earth. Hmm…if there are some other circles of Hell, yes…how about we go on a little journey after my sleep and healing?”

The spirit chattered excitedly, in a dark tone. Several other spirits followed Alastor, this time willing to serve their leader.

Alastor turned his head to the side and chuckled. “I figured you all would agree.”

   Part 13: Alastor Glimpses At Our World

 Before long after Alastor had his rest, it wasn’t just Pentagram City that fell into his hands.

 There were several other great cities in Hell, Thelema City and Levia City. In the former one, an indigo upside down cross glowed against the red sky, though the air was very polluted from nearby factories. Many of the residents of Thelema city had wings: dragons, hydras, bat demons, mosquito demons, among others. Still, there were plenty of animal-like demons, imps, and other sinners who lived there, too. The city was ruled by King Beezelbub, Lord of the Flies and a lower ruler. He had a black face, and many eyes that could see in every direction. Giant fly wings extended from his back, even as he wore a suit, top-hat and bow-tie. Once he heard of Lucifer’s defeat, he promptly surrendered after Alastor had burst into the palace with his army of shadow minions.

 The city of Levia was different. It lay close to a burning ocean of fire, where large fish, ancient sharks and sea monsters lurked beneath violent waves. The demon denizens used boats to catch fish, sell them at outrageously high prices and consume them. In this city, a teal symbol glowed against the red sky, an infinity symbol with two crosses on top of another…Leviathan’s symbol.

 Leviathan was another king, also lower than Lucifer but higher than Beezelbub. He had a wife, Abyzou and a prince son, Franz. This royal family had the appearance of sea monsters: sharp fangs, scaly skin of dark green, ocean blue, or black. He carried a pitchfork staff with an eel skeleton wrapped around it. Helsa, Seviathan and the rest of the Von Eldritch family were close associates with this family, rivals of the Magnes.

 Leviathan and Alastor engaged in battle, but alas, Leviathan lost as well. The smart demons took refuge in Leviathan’s palace, which was partly submerged under the fiery sea. All the cities and provinces fell under the Radio Demon. Both royal families and cities perished.

 It wasn’t long before Alastor was wearing a trophy necklace of several black Archangel heads. The holy harpoons and spears the Archangels were carrying were burned in a large pile, as they weren’t very effective against the angels.

 Unknown by most, there were other lower Circles of Hell; the current one was the first uppermost one, closest to Heaven and Earth. The second circle was a windy desert, the third, a gloomy rain-filled filthy realm, the fourth one, a haven for gamblers and property wars, the fifth, a trade site via the River Styx, the sixth, a gothic land of death, the seventh, a land of weapons, the eighth, a world of mining and disease and finally, the icy ninth circle, closest to the Void. This was where Satan, Lucifer’s dark counterpart resided.

At least until Alastor either recruited him or destroyed him.

 Sir Pentious’ hideout lay in ruins after the serpent lord’s defeat. His air ship lay in several charred pieces on the ground during their final battle. The remaining egg bois were running for their lives from hungry animated voodoo dolls with poison-tipped pins aiming toward the minions. Baxter’s labs were now covered with rocks, dirt and debris from the ground collapsing after more shadow demons and creatures burst free. The Hazbin Hotel, once grand in its haphazardly appearance was now in tatters from the Archangels and shadow spirits fighting earlier on. The stained glass windows with apples on it now lay in glass pieces of red and dark yellow. The circus tent that made up the roof was torn and no longer upright. The only thing recognizable was the lit up letters of “Hazbin” that were once on the roof.

 Once the demons of Pentagram City were freed and turned on him thanks to Charlie, the crazed Radio Demon didn’t want to risk anymore chances, thus sending the spirits to finish them off. There were times when Alastor would miss the crazy times he had with Charlie, Niffty, Mimzy, Rosie, Husk and even Angel Dust. But love of power tilted to paranoia of losing his position. As he had found a way to defeat Lucifer, he had to make sure that the same thing didn’t happen to him.

 Alastor had died once from dogs and a gunshot when he was human. Despite being powerful, he knew that Hell was filled with other kinds of dangers. He made sure he wouldn’t die again.

 Fortunately for him, all the souls that the shadows had consumed seemed to make them more powerful. They were able to fight off several more invading Archangels, even in Heaven where the sunlight could be harmful to them. Provided they evade the angel’s spears and not get too close to God, they were fulfilling their greedy desires to wreak havoc throughout the realms. For now, he appeared to be back pulling the strings of his dark demonic army. While the shadows invaded Heaven, a horde of imps traveled to the human world to kill off more humans for Alastor and the shadows to feast on. Most humans didn’t seem to notice…they were all too frantic trying to save lives during the COVID 19 virus outbreak. One of the portals opened…showing the modern city of New Orleans. Alastor peeked through one of the portals and saw nurses wearing masks rushing patients into hospitals. A group of kids and their parents were crying against the wall, all wearing face masks. Teachers and parents were chatting though their cellphones and computer screens, boarding in their homes.

One sign made Alastor gasp out loud: it read “Mardi Gras parade and festival postponed until next year due to outbreak. Please wash your hands, wear a mask and stay home.”

“Unbelievable…” he breathed, tuffs twitching.

Jazz band were no longer playing in clubs and outside. The only music that was played came from the tiny screens of iPhones from videos. Nothing like the filling all-encompassing live music that made New Orleans so well-known in the United States. The whole city looked dead, devoid of vivid purple, green and yellow colors like in the past.

Alastor stood, shocked, but then remembered all the suffering people and grinned wider.

The world of humanity was coming to an end.

Perhaps he could add newcomer sinners to his army without worrying about powerful royal families. Stolas, the pervert owl demon would not be lonely now, especially with Blitzo to play with and thousands of people entering Hell.

Alastor nodded in approval at a sign reading “Please keep six feet apart from others around you.”

“I need to enforce that rule in Hell. If only Angel has listened.”

 Alastor stepped back and the portal closed.

“This virus outbreak…what pandemonium…pure entertainment!” Alastor laughed with delight. “So many delusional protestors! Orphans, homeless folk, sick patients waiting for death to bring them home. Mortals dying right and left. Gullible humans don’t know what hits them until it’s far too late.” He never thought such an event could top the drama of the 1929 Stock Market Crash…but here it was.

 The crisis briefly brought back memories of the Spanish Flu Pandemic in 1918. Back then, his mother had gotten gravely ill and passed away. At the same time, his father had molested him a second time and left him to fend for himself. He had spiraled into a period of depression, cutting, and fasting…he had snapped and later killed his father in the most painful ways possible. This was when his killing sprees began…during the Roaring Twenties.

 How ironic that history has a way of repeating itself after a hundred years. Now, the 2020s age had begun. Alastor had, indeed, snapped once again, though he did not feel helpless nor sad this time.

 A second life. A second chance. A second opportunity to make all his enemies perish for good.

Like the virus, Alastor was a nondiscriminatory bringer of death and destruction…

…and humanity was about to enter an even Greater Depression.

Part 14: Enter…Zoophobia Alastor?!

      Vivziepop’s original Zoophobia Alastor:

 “Demon Deer, Alastor is undead and powerful and never frowns.”

“Messes with other magical deer”

“Enjoys making deals and tricking mortals into service”

“Deals with spells and dark natural magic”

“Enjoys it when people try to kill him or hunt him”

“Can’t die, but enjoys pain”

“Obsessed with eating other deer”

“Takes human and deer form”

“Can take the form of others but cannot take on any other original form”

 (holding up a red cloth with leaves on the front…magic show?) Quotes: “Smile, though your heart’s aching, smile, even though it’s breaking, when there are cloud sin the sky, you’ll get by.” Zoophobia Alastor

 Quotes: “I believe I lost some of my brain that time…” Zoophobia Alastor after he lets himself get shot and laughs. The regular Alastor is not amused.

 Quotes: “I am sorry, your highness, but I simply adore your company. May I escort you to class today?”

Classmate: “No! Get off my foot!”

Zoophobia Alastor at the Safe Haven school

 “Why happy day of birth, mortal person! I hope you have a joyous day of lovely joy. Also you would not like to have my children, you see, I would eat them.” Zoophobia Alastor answering a question on Tumblr.

  In deer form appears as a red and black deer with red eyes, yellow teeth and black spiral designs on his large ears. Hos hooves are red and legs and underside black.

In demon form, he has pale skin, red hypnotizing eyes and yellow teeth. He has black antlers sticking out but unlike regular Alastor, his ears are longer and black. He wears a different outfit, red boots, black pants, black dress coat with red undershirt and black upside down cross over it.

  Zoophobia Alastor is created after the shadows fail to defeat all the angels, due to intense sunlight that’s too much for them to handle. To top that, Cerf and Muse long to be free and so plot with Alastor’s Shadow (the leader) to try and switch places with their master. Rotsala would become physical, Alastor would be a shadow servant and Cerf and Muse would be free. Alastor, however, overhears them (as they are a part of him and they share thoughts when they are close). Instead of berating them for betrayal, he pauses. For every obstacle lays an opportunity. Alastor decides to take their idea and morph it to his own liking.

“You transformed me into my current form…I figure transforming you would be a worthy exchange. My ally must never betray me. He must be immortal, useful, and share similar traits as me. To put it short, he must be me.”

He turns his shadow into a wendigo and combines Cerf and Muse together. To complete the transformation he offers the sacrifices that are demanded: the energies from the demon souls in the shadow spirits and three things from Alastor: his furry tail, his ear tuffs and his staff that’s a part of him.

Alastor slices off his tail and tuffs, wincing while grinning, but he is hesitant to give up his staff, still suspicious of the spirits. Without his staff, he could never broadcast his murders again.

Then he gets an idea.

To appease Rotsala, his shadow, who had longed for power and freedom, he frees him from his body and service, allowing him to roam on his own as a being with antlers and wendigo traits (but still loyal to Alastor and helps him out). This results in the other spirits being free to spread chaos without having to worry about Alastor’s threats to kill them. Alastor gets to keep his staff and Zoophobia Alastor is created. The Zoophobia Alastor spells his name as Alister to avoid confusion.

But there is another catch: if Alastor dies, so too, would his shadow and Zoophobia Alastor. (They would eventually meet their demise by the Hazbin heroes of the main timeline…99%. But…there would still be a chance for the villains to win…only time would tell in the potential sequel.) The unholy trio were now linked and could feel each other’s desires and pain, despite being equals.

             For His Entertainment: Worlds Collide

(Potential sequel?)

What happens when Charlie, Alastor and the other characters meet the F.H.E. evil Alastor? Although Lucifer can destroy him, he keeps coming back. Then it hits Charlie…in order to fully defeat the darker Alastor, they must battle him in his universe…but this version of the Radio Demon has two powerful allies, his wendigo shadow and a lost shapeshifting counterpart of Alastor brought to life!

[truthbeetoldmedia]

iZombie 5x11 "Bye, Zombies" Review

It feels like I’ve been waiting for this episode the entire series, in more ways than one. Buckle in, there is so much to discuss!

The episode opens with Liv tending to all the Freylich brain kids at the headquarters, and she gives a quick rundown of events via voiceover. I wish this narrative device was used more consistently this season. I have a love-hate relationship with voiceover, I think it can often tip into cheesy and unnecessary. On iZombie, however, the use of voiceover was crucial in the early seasons. If Liv is on a different brain every week, her personality and character development can get lost in the mix. Her voiceover bookended the episodes and was a good way to touch base with her, and to make sure the audience still had access to inside her head. Liv sums up the events that have happened thus far, and how stressful things have been. But her hope remains in the cure; it’s the only thing they have to look forward to. 

This hope becomes complicated fairly quickly. Liv walks in on an upset Ravi, who tells her that the CDC has decided to use the uptiopium for treatments, rather than a cure. Charlie has been kicked off the project, and it’s been moved to a high security building. Ravi points out there’s more money in treatments than cures, and the CDC doesn’t actually have any interest in being helpful to the suffering people of New Seattle. It’s a good call back to Ravi’s fraught relationship with his old employer, the CDC. He was fired for taking biological warfare too seriously, and it seems he finds himself back at square one with them. He and Liv decide the only thing to do now is to pull off an Oceans 11-esque heist. Obviously the only answer! They gather with Clive, Peyton, and Major to tell them the plan. If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again, this show is always at its strongest when it trusts its five main players to drive the story, and let them drive it together. Getting the entire gang involved is part of what made this episode so great. 

It turns out there can be advantages to being zombies — they don’t actually have to learn any heist skills overnight, they can just consume them. They order a ninja and acrobat from Don E (who is in a really foul mood due to Darcy’s death) and Clive thinks of some old petty criminals he knew back in the day. At first, Clive doesn’t plan on going with them. He gives an emotional goodbye to Liv and Ravi, including hugs, and maybe there were a few tears involved. But Bozzio tells him to get his butt out there, and to save the world for their daughter. “You’re the Clooney,” she reminds him. How are they going to pull this off without him? Clive finally steps through the closet of the Renegade quarters, and it’s one of my favorite moments of the whole series. Everything is coming together for one last adventure, and it was an immensely satisfying scene. 

In order to get the pickpocket brain Clive recommended, Major and Liv dig up his grave together. It’s difficult to write this scene objectively, without taking into account the uproar in the Veronica Mars fandom this week. A shocking twist at the end of the new revival season regarding the show’s main couple has left many fans feeling betrayed, confused, and frustrated. Rob Thomas, the showrunner for both Veronica Mars and iZombie, has expressed multiple times that he’s not interested in writing main female characters with boyfriends or writing couples with happily-ever-afters. He didn’t see a way that he could incorporate hard-hitting detective stories and a healthy romance into the same show. 

I have only seen a few episodes of Veronica Mars, but I’ve seen every episode of iZombie, and several things about this show now make sense. I now understand why all of Liv’s boyfriends have been killed off and then never mentioned again. I now understand why when Clive and Bozzio finally got together, Bozzio got pregnant and practically dropped off the face of the earth. It makes me wonder if romance between Ravi and Liv was never explored because the showrunner believed it meant he had to eventually axe one of them, and didn’t want to do that. And most of all, it makes sense why Liv and Major haven’t had any significant progress in their relationship in several seasons. 

Rob Thomas has basically admitted that he doesn’t know how to successfully juggle murder and love on his shows, and he has no interest in finding out. So the timing for this Major and Liv scene is terrible, in more ways than one. Not only do I wish I could have enjoyed it without the baggage of another show hanging over it, but I really think it should have happened sooner in the series. Regardless, now we know why it didn’t. 

The scene itself is actually incredibly sweet. “I’m really glad we’re at this place in our relationship,” Major says. “We can dig up graves without having to talk.” The two of them reminisce on their relationship over the entire series — from how they used to be engaged to wed in a pre-zombie world, to how they’ve both done things that hurt the other, and how they’ve wound up here. “We’ve both done a lot of well-intentioned crap to each other. But here we are, still here,” Major says. He gives her a heartfelt pep talk, telling her that he believes she’s the only one that can pull this off. And pull this off, she must. The fate of the world depends on it. Not only is this a commentary on their deep friendship, but also on who they are as characters. They both have gone through immense changes throughout the series, but it feels like the core of who they are is still there. Major and Liv are both good people, with a capital G. A war-torn, zombie world has tried to change that, but it never succeeded. I’m forever grateful for this show for giving me these two. Major tells Liv she’s a badass, and she kisses him, right in the middle of the grave. Within the world of iZombie, it felt true to the show, and something I’ve been waiting on for so long! 

It means, however, that I’m incredibly worried about Major’s life. The tension between humans and zombies is finally at a breaking point. His Fillmore Grave squad tells him that zombies are riding in the streets, provoking humans and wanting to start a war. Major takes a team out to hopefully quell the riots. “They want to start a war, let’s not give them the satisfaction,” he says. He and his team ride out, but while Major is giving orders, a huge explosion hits their van. My heart skipped a bit, because I really thought Major might have been taken out in this moment. He crawls out of the van, bleeding and confused. Enzo rolls up in a Fillmore Graves van, and the final stand that we always knew was coming finally happened. Enzo convinces all of Major’s men to betray him, leaving Major standing alone. Fillmore Graves has never believed in Major, never totally committed to him as a leader. I’ve never felt the show built a convincing argument as to why Chase Graves inspired so many more followers than Major and that Major was a bad leader. Major has tried to keep the peace in New Seattle for as long as he’s been in charge, but his zombies are out for brains. He escapes by the skin of his teeth, and Enzo goes on TV letting everyone know that he’s the new sheriff in town, and humans had better hide. Dolly and her people watch from their fish food truck, and she gives the go ahead to retaliate and recruit. 

Meanwhile, Blaine discovers that Ravi has stolen his Freylich brains. He tells his smuggler that if he sees Ravi, shoot to kill. This season has really doubled down on Blaine being evil, with no interest in redeeming him. This episode sees him doing some truly unforgivable acts. While Liv is gone, she asks Peyton to housesit at the Renegade quarters. Because Blaine is the worst, he and Don E “follow Ravi’s favorite thing” to lead them to where the Freylich brain kids are hiding out. He and Don E muscle themselves in, and Peyton emotionally begs Blaine to leave them alone. It’s hard not to imagine a season that had gone all in as Blaine as the Big Bad of the entire series. If they had whittled down on nuclear threats and off-shoot human supremacist gangs, and beefed up even more on Blaine’s goal of taking control of New Seattle, I wonder if the season would have been stronger. Thankfully, the show did cut back on forcing real world political parallels that it didn’t have the range for, as I was afraid it would be the main focus of the season, but I think a centered focus on Blaine would have made everything much more focused. This scene, for example, was absolutely terrifying. Both Aly Michalka’s emotional performance and David Anders cold brutality elevated the tension in this moment, and left the fate of both Peyton and the Freylich brain kids in the balance. I’m holding out hope that this will be the moment that our dark horse player, Don E, will emerge as an unlikely hero of this series, but we are going to have to wait until the finale to find out. 

In Atlanta, Clive, Liv, and Ravi actually pull off the heist. Despite Liv on pickpocket brain having the stickiest fingers ever, Ravi being incredibly unpleasant on Russian hacker brain, and Clive getting momentarily distracted by busting some serious moves on the dance floor, they manage to hit their mark, Gladys from HR. For the second half of the heist, Liv and Ravi switch to the ninja and acrobat brains, and sneak into the high security building. Clive saunters passed a guard that thinks all black people look the same, and helps Charlie smuggle in too. For a moment, it seems like the CDC has caught on to our heroes. Saxon rushes in and opens the vault to make sure the uptiopium was still there. Unfortunately for him, he fell right into their trap. Liv points a gun at Saxon and smugly tells him they knew they wouldn’t be able to get into the vault, so they tipped him off so he could do it for them. Saxon tries to bargain with Ravi, and to apologize for how the CDC has treated him, but Ravi is done standing by. No one knows better than Ravi the importance of this cure. Not only is he a man of science, he’s watched his loved ones deal with the zombie virus for several years. He’s had a front row seat to Liv and Major’s trials and watched Peyton buckle under the pressure of being New Seattle’s mayor. He watched Isobel pass away, and then when he tried to avenge her by ethically pursuing a cure, he kept losing to Blaine and the CDC. Well, not anymore. After five seasons of setbacks, there’s no way Ravi’s going to let go of the cure that easily. Ravi rages out. He knocks out Saxon, and Liv grabs the uptiopium. There’s just one more piece they needed for the cure — the Max Rager from Fillmore Graves. Liv calls Major, and he reassures her not to worry about it. When the camera cuts to him, we see him hiding out in the waterfront, injured and alone. 

There is a lot of things to wrap up next week, but I thought this penultimate episode was exciting, character-driven, and showcased elements of the show that made me love it so much. Next week, I’ll see you back in New Seattle, for one final time. 

Stray Thoughts: 

“You’re not that great with boyfriends, are you?” Don E tells Liv, which is the first time all season anyone has mentioned that Liv’s boyfriends have short lifespans on this show. 

“His hair makes me so angry!” 

Clive mentions that if Liv eats the pickpocket brain, to “get ready for visions of me rockin’ a mustache” and I’m so mad the show didn’t make good on this promise. 

“What are you going to do without me?” Liv asks Clive, pointing out that she’s no use as a police partner without her visions. What’s their relationship going to look like when Liv is no longer a zombie?

Peyton tells Liv that she’s probably going to marry Ravi. Pavi forever. 

“We are in the south now, you don’t put stolen jewelry in a black man’s pocket.” I squeaked at this line! Between the racist janitor and this line, Clive was really coming for Atlanta in this episode. 

I thought it was a hilarious gag to have someone remember Ravi from his CDC days, even if it was a one night stand that didn’t really reflect well on his character

Haley’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝.5

The series finale of iZombie airs Thursday, August 1 at 9/8c on the CW.

[metalgearkong]

Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker - Review

12/20/19  ** Spoilers

Directed by JJ Abrams (Lucasfilm / Disney)

Among the current social media and the 24 hour advertisement cycle, if you wanted, its possible to piece together much of the plot of this movie, or any big blockbuster these days. Its for this reason I avoided every single piece of media about Star Wars: Episode IX The Rise of Skywalker before I saw it. Even when bombarded with Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, TV ads, and movie previews, I successfully dodged all snippets of the movie in order to be as surprised as possible once I sat down to see it. That night was tonight, and it’s felt like a long and arduous two years since The Last Jedi. Once again I have deeply mixed feelings about a new Star Wars movie, but I enjoyed myself more in The Rise of the Skywalker than I did in The Last Jedi, but not necessarily for shakesperian reasons.

The fans were worried about how The Rise of Skywalker would turn out, and as release day approached, reviews were already negative. I accidentally saw a Rottentomatoes critics score in the mid 20′s, and several videos were already uploaded to YouTube giving away that broad opinion of this film. This concerned me, as even critics liked The Last Jedi, which is one of my least favorite Star Wars movies. I let all of the negativity brush off me like a blaster bolt on Beskar armor. I went into The Rise of Skywalker rooting for it and looking to find every positive it could bring being the ninth main installment of the Star Wars saga. I was also ready for this trilogy to be over so everyone whining online could move on and obsess over something else. In an odd, semi-genuine, and semi-ironic way, I had tons of fun in The Rise of Skywalker, even acknowledging its horribly messy and rushed script.

Each of these Star Wars movies to me is like how a new chapter in the Bible would feel for a Christian, and the theater is my house of worship. The series’ trademark title blasted onto the screen among roaring trumpets, and I was ready. My auditorium applauded as the Star Wars logo shrunk to the background and the opening crawl appeared at the bottom of the screen. Seeing a new Star Wars movie in the theaters is always a holiday for me. Each film is a new addition to the lore of my favorite movie universe of all time, pulling from years as a kid before I can even remember the first time I saw it (thank you parents). This movie had me grinning from ear to ear, bringing out that inner child in me that Star Wars always used to do, something The Force Awakens partially did, and what The Last Jedi failed to do completely.

JJ Abrams continues his pension for fast paced scenes, but somehow still containing a ton of charm. We finally get to see Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac), Finn (John Boyega), Chewie (Joonas Suotamo), C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) all working together on the same mission. The characters have a ton of charisma between them, and it inspires me to think of the potential for them having been together more often in this trilogy. I enjoyed their quips and didn’t think it got out of control or relied too much on bathos. The first half of this movie moves like a racetrack, as our heroes move from one location to another pursued by the First Order enough to almost make me dizzy. This would turn out to be a running issue with the movie, and if JJ Abrams and the editor would have let each scene go a little slower and last a little longer, it would have been more appreciated.

Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) is the Supreme Leader of the First Order, having murdered and usurped Snoke (Andy Serkis) in the last film, and is on a personal quest to track down what may be the resurrection of Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid). The movie opens on this note, and having none of it spoiled ahead of time for me, found it to be intriguing and exciting. The Emperor is one of the best and most fleshed out characters in Star Wars, and I was curious to learn how he resurrected. Unfortunately the movie barely gives an explanation and we are simply left with the spectacle of what I call Necro Palpatine. However we do have it explained that Snoke was a mere puppet of Palpatine in some capacity, but we aren’t told to what extent, or any other kind of logical backstory. It both answers and raises more questions simultaneously, about both dark lords.

The Rise of Skywalker also goes out of its way in several places to help explain some of the more controversial elements of the prior film, and I appreciated it as a fan of the series who felt toyed with in The Last Jedi. It’s obviously a wink wink to the audience, but I’d much rather have it than not. Greatest of all was Luke (Mark Hamill) being redeemed, as he admitted he was not only wrong to go hide on the island, but toss his father’s lightsaber over his shoulder. The movie also tries to shoe-in more explanation of what Luke was doing after his Jedi Academy was destroyed, which included trying to find the Sith Wayfinder along with Lando Carissian (Billy Dee Williams). It’s not a great explanation of why Luke disappeared, and I wish this was clearly the plan from the beginning of the trilogy. The Wayfinder is basically a key to get to Exegol where Palpatine is hiding. It becomes Rey (Daisy Ridley) and her friend’s mission to find the Wayfinder, through various means and mcguffins. 

John Williams and the London Symphony Orchestra returns one final time scoring a Star Wars movie. I heard a dozen of his old tracks throughout the film and I had fun naming as many as I could. For how much I love his leitmotifs and listen to his music ad noaseam, whether its giving me an emotional rush during a run or driving on the highway, I couldn’t recall any new music heard in this film. The first thing I did when I got home from the movie was try to download the soundtrack from Spotify but it wasn’t available yet. I still give this movie a big thumbs up for its soundtrack because although it isn’t new, the way Williams’ music is used and where it’s placed gave me goosebumps every time. Hearing Rey’s theme in just the right moments made me happy, and identifying other leitmotifs and variations of them were great to hear.

The acting all around was excellent for a Star Wars movie. Daisy Ridley as Rey is as great as she’s ever been, and the same goes to Adam Driver as Kylo Ren. All the side characters and comic relief did a good job as well. The banter between Finn, Poe, and C-3PO was a treat as well. Tony Daniels continues to be one of my favorite actors in all of Star Wars for conveying as much personality as he does without facial expressions and very limited movement. McDiarmid as Necro Palpatine gets very little screen time, but he’s hamming it up as the evil Emperor he’s always been, and I loved every second of it. I also deeply appreciate that the movie seemed to rely on puppets again, and one of the stand out side characters was a tiny engineer named Babu Frik (Shirley Henderson) who should have had more time in the movie.

The only “yikes” moment I felt was any time we saw Leia. It’s such a tragedy that Carrie Fisher passed away so unexpectedly, and least of all not able to finish this Star Wars trilogy. I listened to her audiobook The Princess Diarist and she seemed so excited, yet nervous, to be yet again the role that made her famous, and to complete episodes 7, 8, and 9. Her face seems to be animated on a stand-in actress, and her only lines were from old footage that was never used in Episode VII or VIII. This means Leia has very little to say in this movie, and probably had a lot less to do in the plot than she deserved to. The CGI simply wasn’t convincing for me and is the only aspect of the movie that put a lump in my throat for all the wrong reasons. On the flip side, Han Solo’s cameo was a terrific scene that also had me teary-eyed. It was a great call back to The Force Awakens, and served a purpose for Kylo Ren’s character. Harrison Ford did a perfect job, and it was just the sort of scene I didn’t know I wanted.

While much The Rise of Skywalker feels hastily cobbled together, and relies on way too many conveniences for the plot to keep moving, I found it to be a very satisfying time. You know that feeling when you’re extremely tired and almost feel drunk, and everything seems hilarious and flippant? That’s how I felt during this entire thing. I could see ridiculous script elements that either contradict or ruin lore left and right, but I think something inside me was just so happy to finally get this trilogy over with. I let the fan service envelop me even if it didn’t make sense or feel justified. Yes Rey is still a Mary Sue, yes we still got an underwhelming lightsaber duel (that she wins), yes there are too many characters, yes the plot and details can be nonsensical, yes this movie needed way more time to bake in the oven. But unlike a Jedi’s weapon, this movie may not be elegant, but it is a cathartic and satisfying experience, which is all I every hoped it would be. Now can we all take a breath and move on?

6/10

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 5x07: Analysis

“She’s alive….Impossible shit happens.”

Hello everyone. How you like last night’s episode. I thought it was fantastic. There were some really great lines in it that are very good for TD.

***As always, spoilers abound in for 5x07 in this post. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

So, a quick synopsis. In this episode, Strand and Charlie are still trying to get the propellers back to Luciana so they can put them on the plane. By the end of the episode, they do manage that. Morgan seems to get through to Grace. It seems that perhaps will come with them now. Alicia manages to get the children to agree to come with them as well, and John finally gives Dwight the letter from Sherry. The major twist is that Alicia killed a walker that was contaminated. She didn't know until after she killed it and saw chemical burns under its clothing. She got some of its blood in her mouth and chances are she's infected now.

Remember last week I said I felt like they were hinting that someone was going to get sick and die? Looks like Alicia is the one. Will she actually die? I don't know. If they do any kind of cure arc, I think it's possible she’ll still live. But it's equally possible that they're heading toward killing off her character. They did talk a lot about how she redeemed herself and made up for the bad things she's done, so I could see was being fitting end to her arc. More on that in a minute.

Let's talk symbols. The biggest one was still the yellow balloon that Strand and Charlie used. I'm about to shift a little bit on what I think the yellow means. I’ve always said yellow means escape, and I still think it does. But I think after all the times we've seen it, we can be a little bit more specific. The yellow specifically means escaping or living through an encounter with walkers.

There’s awesome evidence of that in this episode. Strand and Charlie used the yellow balloon specifically as a wall against a horde of walkers. So yellow specifically protected them from the dead, rather than helping them in a more general escape.

If we look back over all the other times we've seen yellow in this way, that's always the case. We saw it around Beth and Noah when they escaped Grady, and they fought walkers the entire way. It also might've been a foreshadow of the walker horde that resulted in Beth being left behind, but that remains to be seen. In 7x12, Michonne thought Rick was eaten by the walker horde but he went through the ride and escape through yellow car. So, the yellow car protected him from the walkers and helped him live.

A lot of gasoline/fuel in this episode. We’ve seen a lot of this anyway throughout the season. Al went to get some fuel for the plane on the mountaintop, where she went with Isabelle before. We got a shot of the fuel right beside a lake, which is kind of interesting.

When Alicia went to convince the kids to come with her, something interesting struck me. I have no idea if this is what they were going for, but the kids were living in this sort of makeshift tree house. 

It reminded me a lot of Peter Pan’s lost boys. Basically, these are kids living on their own and not wanting to become part of the real world. Just like the lost boys didn’t want to Neverland and go back to real world.

And THAT reminded me of Beth’s song in 4A. When she sang to Judith in the prison, she sang about not wanting to grow up, which I always saw as a Peter Pan reference. I don’t know if we should be comparing those two, but it might be a connection that shows Beth will show up soon. And honestly, I can see the Peter Pan story being associated with Sirius symbolism. People always “return” to Neverland, and you get there through the stars. “Second star to the right...” etc

Morgan went to some houses Grace told him to, looking for a car. There were some interesting shots there as well. He found a parking permit hanging from the mirror of a car.

It caught my attention because that's where the rabbit foot hung in the wolves’ car in 5x16. Plus, it had a prominent A on, much as the helicopter does.

I really hoped he’d look in the trunk, but he didn’t. He searched the car for keys, including the glove box. It was very reminiscent of the way Maggie searched the car in 5x10. Even though he didn’t open the trunk, I still felt like there was something important about cars and parking, and of course looking for keys. (Key theory.)

Inside the house, Morgan picked up a Garfield birthday card. 

That's important for two reasons. First, there's the cat symbol, which I’ve talked about recently. We think that it's a resurrection symbol because cats are known for having nine lives. And we can tie that back to Daryl in S4 and the Claimers (think Red Machete). Rewatching, I think there’s actually three different birthday cards, all with cats on them. But the camera focused in on this one.

Then there's the birthday thing. I can only remember two other times in the show where birthdays were mentioned. One was by Beth in Still when she mentioned birthdays and summer picnics. The other was when the Savior outside their compound in 6x12 started whistling the Happy Birthday song. So, seeing those two symbols together felt important.

Morgan also saw a flyer for Fiddler on the Foof. A couple of ways I think they might be using the symbol. First, it's definitely a musical symbol. This musical is also the story of a people who get kicked out of their homes. They’re forced to leave against their will. I think that could also foreshadow something with Morgan’s group. They were living in the denim factory before Clay’s previous partner took it away and is forcing them to leave. So, maybe it foreshadows them being forced it leave the area. Maybe something else. It will be interesting to see how things go moving forward.

But back to the musical symbol, because we know Beth equals music. I couldn't help but think that right by the flyer, Morgan found the keys. The key was kind of in the music. 

In this part, @wdway also noticed that there’s a soda bottle on the fridge in the background. We can’t tell if it says “Frosty Cola” on it, but it’s definitely reminiscent of the Frosty Cola soda bottle.

I even noticed a bird cage. We saw one of those in Beth’s cell and have seen them in a few key scenes since. It definitely gave me some thoughts, but I’m going to save them for another time because they’re a little off-topic.

A little later in the episode, Morgan shows up to kill walkers and save Strand and Charlie. This is very reminiscent of what happened in S5 with Daryl and Aaron. In both cases, they were surrounded by walkers and trapped in a structure (minivan and yellow balloon). Morgan showed up to save the day and get them out. We even had a return of Morgan’s gas mask. That’s super interesting to me. We saw him with the mask in 5x01, but never really saw it any  other time. So I’m wondering if that little snippet when he first appeared in 5x01 foreshadowed what’s happening now in FTWD.

As I said last episode, there was a foreshadow of Al talking to June about Isabelle. She did that this episode. What she said sounded very much like what we've seen with Daryl after he lost Beth.

June even told Al (speaking of being separated from John) "I felt gone." Read the “gone” theory HERE. In TWD, using that phrase always suggests someone being alive but not in their significant other’s life at the time. 

Just like John and June were separated, but neither was dead. Michonne talked about being gone for a long time after she lost her son. She was still alive and going through the motions of living, but this wasn't emotionally or mentally present. Beth said, "You’re gonna miss me so bad when I'm gone." Which means she's not going to die. She simply won’t be in Daryl’s life for a while.

June assured Al that she will see Isabelle again. That's not a stretch since we know Isabelle is with the helicopter people and therefore is not dead. It's pretty good confirmation that some point, Morgan’s group will end up with the helicopter people. And given the parallels between Al/Isabelle and Beth/Daryl, it also suggests that Daryl will see Beth again.

The car runs out of gas (major out-of-fuel theme going on this season) for Dwight and John. John tries to ho-twire a truck. I knew right away it wouldn't start. Every time we seen people successfully hardware cars in TWD, it's been with a red and green wire. The car comes back to life because red and green are the resurrection colors. In this case, he had a red and yellow wire. I immediately thought, "that’s not going to start." And it didn't.

When Alicia was looking for the kids, we saw the same disgusting one with one of its eyeballs popped out several times. 

So a lost eye is often part of Sirius symbolism. Remember the one-eyed dog in Alone, and Denise getting the arrow through the eye. And now Father Gabriel being blind in one eye. Alicia saw this walker once and then saw it again. It made her realize she was going in circles before Dylan came to show her the way. In other words, she RETURNED to it.

Then, at the tree house, she fought that same walker. It was that one whose blood she got in her mouth before realizing it was contaminated. So, I’m not sure how to weave all of that altogether, but I think it's important. 

Remember we saw the contaminated walkers in S8 during AOW because there was a chemical leak. My fellow theorists and I have also discussed that this might hearken back to the virus and the contaminated walker from S4. Either of those instances might have been foreshadows of this contamination in Fear. If it leads to Beth or ends up being connected, perhaps this walker with the missing eye is a sign that Beth will be connected to this contamination in some way.

And that's why I think it's possible Alicia could be saved. Maybe they’ll find this helicopter group and the group will have a way to save her from the radiation. I honestly don’t know which way it will go. Will be interesting to see, though.

Morgan talks to Grace about Eastman, his mantra about all life being precious, and how you have to redirect your life to live for something else when you can’t for yourself. These are all things we've seen before, especially around Morgan. But for me, it kind of confirmed that Morgan will end up going back to Virginia at some point. In order for his arc come full circle, he needs to return to Rick's group to get his return and perhaps lead Beth back to Daryl.

Then we had the convo between Dwight and John. Definitely my favorite part of this episode. When we saw Dwight’s three rings (his and Sherry’s) laying on his palm, something occurred to me. There are always three of them, and they look exactly like the three rings we see on the helicopter.

I mean, why THREE rings, specifically. Yes, yes, I’m sure it’s because Sherry had both an engagement ring and a wedding band, which isn’t uncommon. But if the writers are specifically just trying to show Dwight and Sherry’s rings, a symbol of their love/marriage, the obvious thing would be to have two rings, not three. 

To me, this suggests that Sherry is also with the helicopter people. That's important because, in this scene, Dwight finally realizes Sherry doesn't want him looking for her and she's gone to some other place without leaving him a note. Dwight wants to keep looking for Sherry, but says he'll help get John back to June. Basically, Dwight is being unselfish this point.

He says the most epic TD line ever: “She's alive…Impossible shit happens." Wow! Totally my favorite line of the whole episode. No better way for the writers to tell us that Beth is alive.

I mean, we’ve already seen a million parallels between Daryl and Dwight. And “she’s alive” is the first thing we heard when S5 began. Daryl said it several times to Maggie when they were at Terminus. So to hear Dwight say it now is such a great confirmation!

In addition, something else occurred to me. I’ll talk about this more in tomorrow’s theory, but this also reminded me of how Daryl let Dwight go at the end of S8, and I think that will allow Beth to return to him in some way. I think something similar is happening here.

If the rings Dwight holds are meant to connect to the helicopter group, and Sherry is with them, I’m thinking that by being unselfish and helping John get back to June, that will lead Dwight straight to Sherry. So I’m seeing a definite theme in which it is the characters’ merciful actions that help others live and result in their own, long term happiness.

At the end of the episode, some air raid sirens go off, which suggest they’re out of time and the reactor has already begun melting down. Feels like a MSF situation to me. ;D Thoughts?

[dramaqueeenamby]

Kings’ Trip (7)

T’Challa | M’Baku | Redeemed Erik

Part 7/11: Fevers and Temptations

Words: 2.5K 

Warning: Profanity

CHAPTERS: @sisterwifeudaku  (1), @blackandfair (2), @royallyprincesslilly (3), @eerythingisshaka  (4), @katasstrophey  (5), @blublubleu  (6), 

A/N: This is my contribution to the wonderful collaboration fics started by the amazing @royallyprincesslilly  I am so grateful and honored to be apart of this collab effort and hope that I did it justice because the rest of these talented ladies have absolutely slayed so far! :D

7: Fevers and Temptations

“Okay, which one of ya’ll niggas finished off the orange juice and put it back in the fridge, empty?” Erik held the item in question high up in the air, his other hand tightly squeezing the door of the LG refrigerator with a mixture of disappointment and irritation.

M’Baku looked up from his nonchalant position on the sofa and shrugged. “I left some for you, short and angry one.”

Erik clenched his jaw and slammed the door, the sound of the suctioning material contracting letting him know that it was sealed. “M’Dumbass,” he took the carton and tilted it over the sink so that roughly two ounces of product slid down the drain. “What the hell was I supposed to do with this small amount of drink?”

Again, M’Baku seemed unbothered by the prince’s vexation. “I assumed that it was an appropriate amount of sustenance for someone of your stature.”

Erik threw the empty bottle in the trash. “And just what is that supposed to mean?” He was already on edge from not sleeping too well the night before and was therefore not in the mood to argue with the Great Gorilla. However, if it came to it, Erik was always prepared to throw them hands.

“Eh, eh, eh,” T’Challa came out of his bedroom with Nakia at his side. “What is all the noise?”

“Bro, why is she always here?” Erik lifted his hands in the air with exasperation. “I go to sleep, she’s here. I wake up, she’s here. What the hell I gotta do to not have to see her face?”

“Die,” M’Baku responded calmly, causing T’Challa and Erik to both look at him. “What? He asked. I answered.”

“I’m going to head out,” Nakia announced while shaking her head and turning to the king. “I shall talk to you later.”

“Of course,” T’Challa responded and went to kiss her when she hurried to place one on his cheek. He frowned slightly as she offered a weak smile and made her way out the door.

“Correct me if I am mistaken, but I believe that you have just been, how to the colonizers say it?”

“Rejected!” Erik shouted, covering his mouth with his hand to allow his voice to project.

T’Challa ignored him and decided not to look too much into it. He was in a good mood after having sat down and made amends with Shuri, apologizing for how he allowed his emotions to get the most of him. His chat with the woman from the bar certainly helped provide clarity and lucidity concerning his conflicting feelings regarding the outpour of secrets that seemed to continue to stem from his father’s growing list of transgressions.

However, while peace existed between the two full Udaku siblings, the king was still slightly troubled but chose to hide his woes for the sake of not wanting to attract too much negative attention to himself.

“What is on the agenda for today?”

T’Challa asked as he noticed Erik had hopped on the sofa with M’Baku, the two carrying controllers in their hands.

“We finna get into this MK, boy.” Erik supplied, grinning cockily. “Ole’ Green Mile over here think he ready for Rainbow Road.”

“Such a rudimentary titled course is clearly no match for a warrior such as myself.” M’Baku loudly proclaimed with his chin raised in the air.

Erik sucked his teeth. “Yeah, whatever. You game, cuz?”

T’Challa started to tell him no but decided to amuse the both of them by partaking in their frivolous activity.

“Why not,” he shrugged, making his way over to the sofa set. “Harmless fun never hurt anyone, eh?”

---

“FOR THE LOVE OF BAST, WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO SWERVE OFF THE TRACK, YOU INEPT SIMULATION?”

“THIS GAME IS CURSED, I TELL YOU! CURSED! NOT EVEN THE GREAT HANUMAN HIMSELF COULD COMPLETE IT!”

Erik was having a field day watching the other two men grow frustrated and livid with their failure to successfully make their way through the course.

“You should see ya’ll faces right now,” he laughed, walking back in the living room, one arm filled with snacks, another with a wine cooler. “Looking like fake ass Timon and Pumba’s.” He’d given up on the course a while ago but the other two were determined to prove that no American game could get the best of them.

The “battle” between the Wakandans and the game went on for another two hours before all three men decided that they were ready to eat. Erik suggested that they try this little Chinese takeout place around the corner, T’Challa being delegated as the one to pick up the food. 

“What kind of establishment does not deliver?” T’Challa spoke to himself as he got out his rental after parking it in a lot across the street. “The food better be….” He trailed off as a slow, melodic beat hit his ears. “-good.” The king found his eyes falling onto the entrance to a place called “The Majestic.” Though no one stood outside, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that it was because everyone was already inside enjoying the music that he felt called to him.

Before he realized what was happening, T’Challa’s legs carried him across the way and into the establishment. Of course, he was stopped by the bouncer who served as a barrier between him and finding the source of the sweet sounds, but when he threw three hundred dollar bills the man’s way, he was easily granted access.

T’Challa instantly found himself met with the reason for his even being there.

On stage, a woman, with a complexion rich in melanin and touched with hues of gold as if blessed by Bast herself, eyes as deep and warm as the humid heat that occupied the summers of his country, belted out the song that called to him. Her body, curvaceous and filling, her chest pushing boldly against the corset of the bedazzled fiery dress that also allowed a glimpse of her smooth brown legs. Long onyx hair cascaded down her back in wavy tresses, covering half her face, only granting him a portion of her painted red lips that continuously flexed due to the soulful notes that emitted from her mouth.

Ooh

You give me fever

Fever in the morning

Fever when it's late at night

Her raspy voice captivated him, sending unfamiliar chills throughout his body as he noticed an empty spot by the bar and plopped himself down, never taking his eyes off her.

You give me fever

Fever

Fever when you kiss me

Fever when you hold me tight

She worked her way across the stage, sending suggestive and seductive looks and smiles to various members in the crowd while still managing to keep up with the live band.

Fever in the evening

Fever all through the night

You give me fever, yeah

T’Challa was mesmerized as she descended down the stage, helped by one of the musicians who held her hand before she hit the ground. The king marveled at how she interacted with certain attendees, sending occasional winks to male patrons who seemed absolutely flustered by her gestures.

He was so captivated that when she came to him, reaching out and running her hand down his face with a sly smile, all he could do was numbly stare, only breaking from his trance as she walked away from him and back on stage.

T’Challa shook his head when thunderous applause filled the room, signaling the end of her song. He caught the end of the accolades, clapping strongly as she took a bow and blew a kiss before disappearing from his sight.

The king was beyond the realms of interested, not necessarily because of attraction but a rather innocent intrigue. Also, the woman possessed a phenomenal voice;  he felt the duty to inform her of such.

And so, he waited for her to come out into the crowd after overhearing that that was her last performance for the night.

He wasn’t sure how long he was sitting at the bar, consistently ignoring attempts at conversations from women when he spotted her. She was making her way out. He promptly rose from his seat and maneuvered his way through mostly inebriated individuals, never taking his eyes off her.

“See you tomorrow, Rob.” She laughed, a wide smile on her slightly round face.

“Excuse me-” T’Challa froze when she spun around and slammed her forearm into his own which was reaching out to tap her back.

“I don’t know what you want, but I can assure you that I’m not interested.” He was slightly surprised by her voice; it was soft, the epitome of femininity, a complete contrast to how she sang.

In order to ease her apparent discomfort, he raised his arms to signal docility.“I apologize if I scared you-”

She scowled. “Do I look scared?”

“No.” He observed, her face hardened with determination. “I simply wished to tell you that you have a beautiful voice.”

She rolled her eyes. “And a fat ass, right?”

He was appalled. “I would never speak in such a way to or about a woman.”

She lifted one brow, a small smile breaking her poker face before pulling her arm back. He watched her eye him from head to toe. “What’s your name?”

He did not hesitate to reply. “T’Challa.”

“Figures.” She chuckled. “You’re not from around here, are you?.”

“Something like that,” he echoed her chuckle, noticing her slowly starting to ease her way into comfort. “And yours?”

“Max,” she replied but noticed the strange gleam in his eyes. “It’s Maxine, but if you call me that, I will punch you in that pretty face of yours.”

“Understood.” He smiled softly. “Max.”

Max shifted her weight on her right foot and crossed her arms over her chest. “You busy?”

He lifted his eyebrows. “I’m sorry?”

She chuckled and turned around. “Come on.”

T’Challa froze, apprehension overcoming the great warrior. “Where?”

Max twisted her body, walking backward, smiling wryly. “Don’t worry. I don’t bite.” A beat. “Unless you want me to.”

T’Challa was thoroughly confused.

Why on earth would he want her to bite him? How animalistic.

---

“So you have no intentions of becoming a singer?”

Max laughed loudly as she walked the beach with the kind and, though she’d never admit it, handsome stranger. “Not at all. I like to sing, but my heart isn’t in it. It just helps to pay the bills.” She explained with a small sigh. “And I certainly have plenty of those.”

He said nothing but made a mental note to find a way to help her out. Monetarily speaking.

“What are you studying?”

“Social Work,” she responded, pushing her hair behind her ear. “I’m tired of seeing so many kids lost in the system, being shipped around from one dysfunctional home to another. It’s detrimental to a person’s mental health.”

He nodded, listening to her talk, picking up on the sense of sadness that imbued her countenance before she brushed it away.

“Make a difference, ya know?” She looked over at him. “What about you? What do you do for a living? Something illustrious judging by the expensive threads you’re rocking.” She teasingly bumped into him, T’Challa cracking a small smile.

He paused. A part of him wanted to tell her the truth, but he also liked the flow of their conversation, how she treated him so….normally. It was a nice diversion from how people typically acted when they learned that they were in the company of a king.

“I….work in management.” He decided on that vague answer, hoping that it would satisfy her.

“Oh. Of what?”

He stilled with apprehension. Of course, she wanted to know more. She was very perceptive.

A rap song about paramedics that he recalled Erik listening to sounded from her bag as she stopped walking, swinging the backpack around to grab her phone. “Excuse me.” She pulled it to her ear. “What’s up?” Max gave the king a strange look as he lifted his head to the sky as if searching for something. “No. I’m out with….a friend.” He returned his gaze to her. “Just order a pizza...use the money in the jar. I’ll be home soon enough….aight’.” Max hung up the phone, placing it back in the bag. “Sorry. My sister.”

“You have a sister?”

“Pretty sure that’s what I just said.” Max blew out a small breath as she spoke, continuing to walk after fixing her tote.

“I apologize,” T’Challa had no idea why he was behaving so strangely around this small woman with a bold personality. He was a warrior for Bast sake. “I too have a sister...and a brother.” He added quietly.

Max noticed the strange way he said, brother. “Estranged?”

“You could say that.” He commented. “I...just discovered his existence.”

Max made an ‘O’ with her mouth. “One of those.” She momentarily tilted her head and went to push her hair behind her shoulder. “Papa was a rolling stone type shit?” He regarded her with confusion. “You know….like the song?” His expression remained unchanged. “The Temptations?”

“As in pleasures of the flesh?” He suggested with hopeful eyes.

Max fell out in laughter, shaking her head and wiping at her eyes. “Seriously? Where did you say you were from again?”

“Africa.” He responded accordingly, failing to see the humor in his guess.

“And you mean to tell me that they don’t listen to The Temptations in the homeland?”  

“It is a musical group then, yes?”

Maxine just continued to grin, halting in her steps as she swung her bag around and forced it against his chest. “Hold this.” She started to dig through it before pulling out her phone and a set of large, white headphones that held a ‘B’ on the ear part. He watched her press a few buttons before leaning up and placing them over his ears. “Just listen.” He read her lips as she hit something on her phone before the music started to play.

He wasn’t even a full minute in when Max saw him snapping and slowly swaying. “This is wonderful! Who are they again? Do you have other artists similar to these tempts?”

She laughed softly as the two continued to walk.

“If you like them, wait until you hear The Supremes.”

---

Meanwhile…..

“I swear, this bobblehead looking ass nigga had one damn job.”

Erik was going to kill his cousin for turning off his kimoyo beads after going MIA on them.

“No. His name is T’Challa.” M’Baku attempted to explain to the restaurant worker, holding his arm out, stretching his hand. “About this tall, rather skinny in width, similar to him.” He gestured over to Erik.

“Keep it up, Jabari the Big Red Dog.” The prince hissed before pulling up a picture of his cousin, flashing the phone in front of the employee who spoke very little English. “This is him. Have you seen him or not? Cause his car is right outside.”

“Ohhhhhh,” the Asian commented with a friendly smile. “Yes. Him. Of course.”

M’Baku’s face lit up. “So you’ve seen him?”

“Yes!” She answered happily, pulling out her own phone and tapping a few things before showing it to him. “Great actor!”

“No! That’s not him!” A beat. “The fuck? That’s Chadwick Boseman!”

M’Baku narrowed his eyes at the picture on the screen.

“They do share an uncanny resemblance.”

“Man, shut up, Tiny Lister!”

----

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[alicesloane13]

Thoughts on GoT S8 E2?

Death. Lots of it!

Serious answer… let’s see:

First off this is more theories for the next few episodes bc I think it’s all going to overlap. I didn’t watch the books. I’ve only watched the early seasons more than once. (Bad fan I know). So, most of my thoughts are very very loosely researched or not at all. A lot of them are just crack

S8.02

One thing I’m trying to consider is that there are a LOT of unresolved things happening and NOT a lot of time to wrap everything up. They’ve said that they’ve filmed multiple endings and I’m afraid that different loose ends will tie up with different endings, so… bummer :/ Maybe they’ll release them later (I mean… more $$$ for them right?)

- Tyrion is going to do something that might hurt the greater good on behalf of Cersei. Their last conversation he was very emotional and obviously still very fucked up feeling and guilty about Marcella and Tommen. Now that he’s found out she’s pregnant. He got a very strange look on his face, they cut the scene short, and he was very gruff and short about his answers to everyone. He’s been a little… distracted and absent-minded sense then. Possibly more guilt and debating on which choice is really the right thing to do.

- Dany is really going to show she’s losing her shit. It’s been a long time coming, and that look she gave Jon when he told her… Everyone has been calling or teasing/saying that Cersei is “The Mad Queen”. Which, I mean… she’s not the sanest at the moment BUT I think Dany is going to be that one to officially get that title.

- Melisandra (who I’m not a fan of from way back) is definitely up to something. That conversation she had with Varys was pointed somewhere. I feel like her whole “we’re both going to die here” was just a vague we’re both here for the long haul and not that their fates/deaths are in any way tied together

- Ser Davos is never going to see his wife–that I didn’t even–remember him having (she’s been mentioned twice?). Well, he might see her, but we won’t. I hope for his sake! He’s on my please try not to die list. All the shit he’s been through and not going home, I’m starting to see him almost like Odysseys/Ulysses trope

- Samwell (also a fave) has always wanted to be a wizard right? I think he definitely is and/or has magic to some degree. He’s kind of blundered through a lot of things successfully. He saved Gilly, killed a white walker, the other early white walkers just flat out ignored his presence, cured Jorah, people tend to listen to him and take his advice A LOT even though he doesn’t particularly seem like the type of person you’d take advice from. I love the idea that this is just all his own skills, but he wants to be magical so much that I think it would be sweet.

- Here’s where it turns to crack. I was doing a bit of research on the stuff that Maggy the Frog told Cersei. I looked at both show and books stuff. Book Maggy the Frog had a family tree. Some rando on it who we know nothing about other than he was sent with other people when Tywin this guy was among them (in the books). His name is Samwell. Now I know obviously the Tarly’s most likely are not any lineage coming from her. Sam’s dad even boasts about killing her. BUT Samewll also looks nothing like his family. Name kids after relatives is a pretty typical thing here.

So, if you were Randyll Taryly and this kid you have in your house you’re pretending (for whatever reason) starts showing possible magical traits… you might be so anti-magic that you’d go off and try and eradicate that lineage just out of fear it might come out or something? Idk

- People are theorizing that this entire thing is Sam recording the history and telling this story. I would much rather it be Gilly telling little Sam and having picked up where he left off. Because I love her and how cool would it be from her starting point to evolve into that? She’s already shown herself to be useful and her reading is nearly perfect now.

- Crack theory: Arya is dead and the faceless man is working in her stead. Very unlikely. Doesn’t quite make sense. Why would he kill her and then go off and move through her life? Beats me. The Waif wouldn’t make sense either. But that would fuck me up lol and could explain why Nymeria “knew” her, but didn’t “KNOW” her. He also knows about her list and who is on it etc. He also still owes her a kill. Their bargain was that she took his name off her list, not that it canceled out that kill. Lots of more logical theories out there about this already being taken care of between him, the waif, and Arya.

- Ser Brienne is Azor Ahai (reincarnated?) or the prince(s) that was promised if they’re not the same. I’m not going into details on this one or we’ll be here all day. Message me if you want more?

- Unlikely, but maybe since Jon died the Night King will have some influence/power over him

- Popular theory: the Night King is going to reanimate the dead Starks. Eh, even if that happens it won’t really be “our” Starks. How many of their bodies actually made it back to Winterfell? I do think they’re coming back in some way or another. Most likely this way. (also in the books the catacombs are bigger than all over Winterfell and I guess there’s a theory there might be dragon eggs in there idk)

However, I have another theory. That makes absolutely no sense. Ever since Melisandra kind of lost her faith/way she keeps disappearing and returning. Which she’s not a MC so that makes sense. But she’s been getting more and more confident. Then the convo with Varys… my guess is she’s been out researching and/or recruiting (I vaguely remember someone saying she went rogue after Stannis).

We know she brought Jon back from the dead, and that other people have been able to do this. I would love for her to come back and revive the dead Starks so the Night King couldn’t have a hold on them as easily. They’d still be creepy af and all, but at least not a weapon from the inside.

My other theory about her is that… Okay, Ned had Ice. Lightbringer had a lot of fire connected to it. Let’s just talk about Ice first. It was melted down and made into two swords. Brienne has Oathkeeper. Jamie has Widow’s Wail.

(Which how poetic is that that both halves of the swords involved in Brienne’s knighting were Ned’s sword. Also, Ned who always encouraged Arya to follow unconventional hobbies would totally be down with knighting Brienne I think).

So, Ice is with two people who are gonna be pretty damn important to this fight. Everyone has been going on about the dragons now being fire and ice. What if instead, it’s weapons. I don’t know who would wield them. Jon seems pretty attached to his sword. Arya likes her spear and daggers. Idk.

BUT she’s leaving to go to Volantis in the middle of all this. If you look up the history of Valyria you can see there’s a connection between them. Ned’s sword was made by a Valyrian blacksmith? I read that in one spot, dunno about accuracy.

It would make sense that if anyone would be smithing a weapon it would be Gendry. But he also feels a bit more important than merely making weapons at this point. Maybe there was more involved with crafting it. Tools involved, additional material, she’s off to find some blacksmith that was related to the original one. She brings back some fire weapon… and then we have 3-4 (if they make two like ice) swords that are fire and ice. Maybe Gendry could be someone who wields it bc as Tormund mentions that hammer is kinda big and kinda slow. He’s going to need something quick and easily maneuverable for this battle.

- my FAVORITE and most UNLIKELY theory…enough big people survive. Dany does become full-on Mad Queen demanding everyone bend the knee or get fried. She’s out of control. There are very few people who could take her by surprise and not bat an eye. I think she’s wary of Sansa, so that rules her out (that would be cool too though). I think Arya could pull it off, bc ofc! BUT it would be very poetic and create a beautiful parallel if Cersei kills her and becomes… Queen Slayer. It might not fully redeem her, but she’d definitely get some points.

I think that’s all I got. Please Please Please let me know what you think, or ask questions, or give me your own thoughts, etc. I know most of this is crack, but I was kinda trying to think of the most outlandish things.

[cursed-in-barovia]

Session 4

At Gregori’s shop, The Hare & Hair, the group decided to do a little shopping with money and items found throughout the adventure so far.  Gregori was only interested in coin, hides, furs, and other decorative animal parts.  Once everyone was satisfied with their purchases, Gregori invited the group for a meal at the Seven Tables Inn because the wolf pup completely destroyed his pantry and ate most, if not all of his food before it ran away.

It was about 6pm, snow still covered the village, but the storm seemed to be on a short break. While Gregori escorted the group to the inn, Zemotta and Devotion stayed behind at the shop.  Devotion wasn’t feeling well.  Perhaps the recent events were too much, or maybe it was something bothering her from her past.

The Seven Tables Inn had an open tavern where villagers were winding down after a day’s work.  You noticed that ALL of the people of Orasnou are human and a lot of them seem to lack expression in their faces and wore muted tones of clothing, while the more lively people had brighter colors in their apparel. Marku Grelon, the owner, could be seen behind the tavern bar, cleaning glasses and tending to customers. Upon entering the tavern, Gregori rushed over to Marku, and through Dundee’s observation, he was able to see that Gregori was trying to redeem a deal he and Marku had.  A favor owed.  All Gregori wanted was a free round of meals to feed his guests.  Marku wasn’t too happy about it, and agreed to meals, but Gregori would have to cover the cost of drinks.  

Meanwhile lots of other conversations could be heard in the tavern: “Have you seen the increased number of guards Burgomaster Randovich now has watching over his home? What’s he guarding?”, “Apparently there’s some sort of ancient artifact that was once important to Strahd hiding somewhere around here.”, “You just KNOW that the stuff that Fillar is selling at his Eyes of Midnight shop are stolen goods.”, “Have you see this new guy Arik in the wolfskin cap? He only seems to speak to Fillar and avoids anyone else.  Some say he smells strange and awful.”

After his negotiation with Marku, Gregori embarrassingly approached the table that you all took seat at, and relayed the deal. He kindly asked that you don’t go too overboard on the drinks.  He didn’t have too much coin to spare.  It wasn’t too long before Nori, Dundee, Tomigot, and Zoras started ordering many drinks each.  Nori could see the beads of sweat start to dribble over Gregori’s face as each drink was served.

Meanwhile, at another table there were two villagers, Alek and Hans, playing Liars Dice.  This got Dundee’s attention and captured Tomigot’s curiosity.  With pockets full newly acquired gold, Dundee and Tomigot agreed to a few games, while Zoras watched.  Nori scanned the room for any loose or unattended coins and successfully swiped 1gp from the bar top, just before Marku went to turn around to collect it.  A coin wedged inside the cracks of one of the tables also caught Nori’s thieving attention. This coin wasn’t so easy to pry, as years of gunk and old beer acted as mortar to seal it into the crack.

At the game table, after a few rolls and a constant, nerve-wrecking increase of bets, mostly by Dundee, Alek won the first game with a luck hand of four 6’s to win 68gp.  With gold fever, Alek asked for another game, and so another game was played.  The pot was growing fasting and faster as Dundee kept raising the bets by 10gp!  Tomigot noticed something fishy going on with Dundee’s hand and eventually decided to “go see the lady half-orc in the room.”  Alek and Hans had a good laugh because there was nothing but humans in the room! Except for Zoras, Nori, and Tomigot himself, of course.  The game continued, Alek folded, and it was just Hans and Dundee left.   Eventually the betting fizzled out and Zemotta finally came to the inn to witness Hans proudly present his hand of four 6’s while Dundee triumphantly displayed his FIVE 6’s to win 133gp!

Drinks kept coming, and at one point Nori handed 5gp to Marku as Gregori witnessed from across the room and mouthed the words “Thank You” to Nori in return. The group was ready to get some much needed sleep, but a trek back to Gregori’s, through the snow, was too much.  So Marku invited everyone to stay at his inn, he had enough rooms available.  In his drunken state, Tomigot thought the top of a tavern table would be a much better bed, and passed out.  Zoras demanded his own room for his beauty sleep.  Zemotta and Nori shared a room while Dundee also had a room to himself.

Just as everyone was finally beginning to sleep, a strange, beastly feeling started to emerge from within Tomigot’s passed out body in the middle of an empty tavern.  Blood rushed through his veins, his nails began to grow, his nose turned into a snout.  His body become covered in fur.  He wasn’t hungry, he was STARVING.  After a loud howl, and pushing and throwing furniture around, he rushed through the tavern doors, leaving a werewolf shaped hole, allowing the light dusting of snow from the outside to trickle into the room.

Zemotta could hear the ruckus and rushed to investigate.  She was startled to see that Tomigot was gone, the tavern was a mess, and that there was a new hole in the door.  She went to alert the rest of the party. 

It was early in the night, the snow was sprinkling down, lightly covering any fresh tracks that might have been left by Tomigot.  Determined to find him, the group set off to see into the cold darkness.  The subtle tracks lead to the entrance of the forest that surrounded Oraşnau.   Howls of wolves could be heard from every direction. Zoras lit some torches and the party headed in. After an hour into the forest, 2 zombies were seen trudging through the 3 feet of snow between the trees. After several arrow shots and force blasts, they were taken out.   Eventually the group followed the tracks to a crossroad.  It was almost as if it were a game trail or werewolf/wolf highway, FULL of tracks, making it impossible to pinpoint any single creature.  Defeated, the group returned to the inn in hopes to catch some much needed sleep and that Tomigot would return in the morning.

The group returned to the inn at about 2am.  It wasn’t long before everyone fell asleep and began to have dreams;  Nori successfully prying the coin out of the crack in the table, Zoras seeing images of shiny feathers, Zemotta seeing life without her favorite “ladder”, Dundee having visions of a spotted snow cat up at the top of an icy mountain peak.   At around 6am, Zemotta and Zoras could hear some commotion going on down stairs.   Marku was upset and reacting to the mess in the tavern and suspicious of Tomigot as he returned to the inn.  The group’s rest was, once again, interrupted.  Everyone came downstairs from their rooms to greet Tomigot. He was a little woozy, tired, and weakened with deep scratches on his sides.  While Zemotta tended to his wounds, Tomigot couldn’t really remember what happened that night.  All he could remember was a horse, how good a horse tastes, and then an undead humanoid creature taking swipes at him.

Fearful of what it meant to be a werewolf and having a new lust for blood, Tomigot wanted to rid his curse.  This, of course, had to happen after a long rest, so everyone returned to their rooms.  At around noon, like morning of a winter holiday, Nori ran across the road to Gregori’s shop, before even getting fully dressed, to see if he had any coal and herbs.  He wasn’t sure what he would find but began to sift through the pile of ruin the wolf pup left behind.  A large handful of sprigs of herbs were collected from the trash, as well as some coals from the fire.  Nori thanked him and eagerly ran back to the inn to throw the items into a bronze brazer.  After a few words, a raggedy winged owl emerged, with missing feathers and a blind-looking eye.  “A trash bird!”  Nori named it Chi.

Meanwhile, Zoras enjoyed several mimosas and late breakfast.  Dundee asked Marku about any sightings of a snow cat. Low and behold, Marku had heard of there being an elusive cat that lived high up in the mountains at the tallest peak. Nobody has been able to catch it to prove its existence, and that there was actually a standing bet that the thing wasn’t real.   Determined to prove that rumor wrong, Dundee added to the wager with the condition that if he didn’t return to the inn with that snow cat, then he’ll share 100gp with everyone who’s in on the bet.

Zemotta and Tomigot had also gone over to Gregori’s shop to see if the town’s new elves might know how to cure Tomigot.  Aya had motioned to Zemotta to not mention anything about werewolves to Gregori.  Most people don’t respond well to the topic of them.  She mentioned that Jeny Greenteeth, the old woman that previously requested golden elk hearts,  might be able to help.  She’s a little odd but talented with spells.

The group gathered back at the inn to put a plan together.  It was soon decided that the partly would go along with the elves to find Jeny Greenteeth and possibly find any furs along the way, and then see about finding the cat that Dundee was after.  The snow was now 4 feet high, but no match for Zoras’ ice plow.  The elves soon spotted 2 golden elks ahead.  Everyone with a ranged weapon took a shot at the elk.  One of Nori's attempts with Zoras' crossbow backfired with a snap of the string to the face.  After a few hits, Tomigot’s new, heightened senses could smell the blood, causing the beast inside him to reemerge.  His hybrid werewolf form was revealed and he was hungry.  The closest piece of meat was in the form of an air genasi.  Dundee quickly set his snare in front of Tomigot, but it didn’t stop him from giving Nori-Wes two strong swipes of his claws.  The elves moved toward the elk to preserve them from a werewolf feast.  Zemotta moved back, fearful that she might be a snack, while Zoras threw an illusion of a snack inside of Dundee’s snare in the form a juicy steak.  The lure of the steak worked to distract Tomigot, but the snare was no match for his reflects.  Once he realized the steak wasn’t real, the Tomigot returned to his half-orc self, without completely knowing what just had happened, but immediately apologized for whatever he might have done.  He then ripped some fabric from his clothes and shoved them up his nose.  Zoras offered to make them smell nicer and at Tomigot’s request, they smelled like flowers…and then like new picture books.  The urgency to find Jeny was even more obvious.

Low and behold, as the party traveled deeper into the woods, they saw an old lady walking along the trail in front of them.   It was Jeny!  She wasn’t too thrilled to see people, let alone ones she’s already met, yet she wouldn’t stop blabbering about how she got displaced because of the mist and that she had to start everything from scratch again.  Once she realized Tomigot needed help, she invited everyone to her shed that was a work in progress.  She explained that not only did she require gold for her spell casting services, but she also asked for favors.  To remove Tomigot’s curse, need a lingering embraced.  A relieved Tomigot gave her the biggest hug she had every received.  Jeny seemed to really enjoy it, while Zoras tried to get in on the action.  All he got was an disgusted, evil eye from Jeny.  Once the hug was over, she asked Tomigot how he felt.  He seemed to feel much better!  The werewolf bite on his arm was nowhere to be found! "Works every time!" said Jeny, proud of her spell casting skills.

Nori hesitantly asked if Jeny could heal wounds.  “Of course I can!  It’ll cost you 10GP and then we’re going to have a staring contest.  The first one to blink loses!”  Nori and Jeny’s eyes locked on each other’s and then Jeny tried to scream really loud to break Nori’s concentration, but instead choked and lost the challenge. Nori felt a little more healthy afterward.  She also offered a freshly brewed potion of healing for 50gp to take on the road.  Nori accepted!

With everyone healed, it was off to find Dundee’s cat!  It 3 hours later they got to the based of the mountain peak that was mentioned in the rumor.  A deep ledge could be seen at the top to the right, about 300 feet, where two shadowy figures could be seen amongst a lingering fog.  To get to the top the party would have to climb up 100 foot increments, up icy slopes, to different shallow ledges of the peak.  No paths could be found.  With Tomigot being the strongest of the group, he tied two ropes together, and then to a grappling hook.  The first swing of the rope and throw of the hook was expertly done.  He was able to hook into the first ledge and fairly easily climb up to then reel the rest of the party in, one by one.  This repeated at each ledge.  By the time it got to throwing the hook to the last ledge, Tomigot had grown tired.  It became difficult to not only throw the grappling hook the full distance, but the ice seemed to be more slippery, making it more difficult to climb was the rope was hooked.

Eventually everyone climbed the 300 feet to reach the ledge where the shadowy figures were seen. Upon closer inspection and a quick clearing of the fog, two yetis could be seen, along with an emaciated snow leopard chained inside a cave!  Each yeti was alerted by the poor stealth of some of the party members. As they approached the group, missing patches of fur and rotten flesh could be seen hanging off their bodies.  Their eyes were bloodshot, yet foggy.  These aren’t healthy creatures!

TO BE CONTINUED…

[kathyprior4200]

Hazbin Hotel: Summary of the Future

If Hazbin Hotel had a happy ending and the series continued...here’s how I idealize it...

Not too long ago, the blonde, white-faced Princess Charlie decided to propose an idea that was downright ridiculous and outlandish to everyone else. She created the Happy Hotel as a place where sinners could learn how to be better people and hopefully, complete their own unique journeys toward redemption. Though Charlie was mocked and ridiculed, she wasn’t going to give up. A gray moth-like demon named Vaggie was her girlfriend and tough with a deadly spear. Angel Dust, a white porn-loving spider demon had been involved with drugs, turf wars, and was Hell’s number one porn star. Despite his sins, he had volunteered to help Charlie with her hotel and became her first client.

 Alastor had arrived to the hotel as well, and offered to help Charlie run her hotel so he could be entertained for a while. He summoned other demons for assistance: a little hyperactive neat-freak cyclops named Niffty, and a grumpy gambling cat named Husk who always had a bottle of alcohol in his paws. Charlie was immediately enraptured with Alastor, even dancing and singing with him whenever the occasion arose. Vaggie, of course, was suspicious of him, even more so when he appeared to hinder Vaggie and Charlie’s relationship.

 Charlie’s hope was that demons would be redeemed enough to be eligible to go to Heaven. This way, there would be less demons lost to the annual slaughter by the Archangels. Soon, she had hoped, there would only be happiness and a second chance given to everyone. In her own words and in her song, “Inside of every demon is a rainbow.” Lilith was often too busy with modeling and concerts to pay much attention to Charlie, but supported her the best she could. For obvious reasons, her father had disapproved of her idea. Having been banished from Heaven for rebelling against God, Lucifer gained his position by implementing fear and using his destructive powers. The Archangels spared the royal family in return for Lucifer letting them kill off the “common scum folk.” If demons were to leave, it could lead to a war between Heaven and Hell if the circumstances did not go well.

 Indeed, things had gone from bad to worse. It started off with Alastor causing mischief barely noticed by anyone, save for Vaggie and Husk. He had changed the hotel name to the Hazbin Hotel. It was the little things he did: igniting a brawl here, encourage a bad rating there, all while keeping up appearances and encouraging the princess to work harder toward her goal.

 It was speculated by many that Alastor actually wanted Charlie to succeed. The pretty blonde demon/angel hybrid had caught his eye when he first saw her on TV. Although he wasn’t interested in sex or romance, he did enjoy fun affectionate friendships…provided they benefited him and his goals. In fact, he was friends with many individuals, particularly Charlie, Rosie, Mimzy, Husk, and Niffty.

 After many months of hard work, battles with evil overlords, parental brawls, and drama, many demons had been successfully rehabilitated, including Vaggie, Angel Dust and his twin sister, Molly. They had defeated/humiliated the maniac snake villain Sir Pentious, outsmarted the evil fish scientist Baxter, bested the evil Vs, (Valentino, Vox, and Velvet), along with saving themselves from more angels. Angel, Molly, Crymini, and Cherri Bomb had been active fighters when they weren’t hooked on meth or doing pole dancing for the lustful crowds. Husk slowly got out of his dark shell, made amends with his past and slowly started to warm up to everyone. Niffty got delusional in her fantasies of romance, men and power as she cooked, sewed, and cleaned. Whether she was redeemed and remained cute or turned psychotic…no one really knows. Charlie and the others were ready to reach the golden heavenly gates and change their afterlives…

 Unfortunately, the angels in Heaven weren’t so keen to let any sinners enter Heaven so easily. They told Molly that she could enter as she wasn’t a demon, and Vaggie could enter if she took on penance and renounced her sins. Elite and entitled, the angels shooed Charlie, Niffty, Husk, Alastor, Angel and several others away, even sending some Archangels after them. Charlie and Lucifer blasted the angels back with their powers, saving the demon group and escaping back to Hell. But her actions caused inner mental concerns for her parents, God and the angels. God suspected that Charlie and Lucifer were trying to upstage Heaven’s duties and traditions. No matter what, Hell’s population would continue to grow, and surely the angels would be outnumbered if a war were to begin.

 Charlie’s parents were not happy that Charlie had broken up with Seviathan Von Eldritch (like Leviathan the sea monster), Helsa’s brother and member of a wealthy rival family. She and Helsa were already fierce rivals, both families competing to be the most influential in Hell. In addition, they were getting tired of Charlie’s pursuit and wanted her to conform to Hell’s standards. Being a fearsome leader was, according to her father, Charlie’s destiny. After arguing with her parents and refusing to give up, Charlie had gone to Vaggie and Alastor for comfort. Vaggie comforted her and told her the harsh reality of the situation. Still, she refused to give up, despite feeling like a failure. Charlie decided to figure out a way to negotiate with her parents and the angels. Before she could proceed further however, Alastor comforted her with his velvety announcer voice and took her arm in arm for a walk.

 The two of them sang, and danced, and even shared a kiss. Charlie felt like Alastor was redeeming himself and that things would be alright in the end.

 It was at that optimal moment, that the predatory Radio Demon pounced upon his gullible prey.

 Taken by surprise by surrounding voodoo spirits and black tentacles, Charlie fought back as much as she could. But a Creole lullaby sung by Alastor soon rendered her helpless. Charlie was kidnapped and briefly held hostage in Alastor’s lair. No rape or beating was involved, just a bunch of creepy touching and mind manipulating. He didn’t possess her but did manage to get her on his side when they were face to face with the king and queen. Alastor’s evil shadow held an angel’s spear to Charlie’s throat, a weapon capable of killing any demon. Alastor knew that his powers would not be enough against Lucifer. So he did the one thing to catch him off-guard: go for his child.

 Alastor soon proposed a deal with Lucifer and Lilith: Charlie and her hotel would be spared…in exchange for the throne. Lucifer accepted…and soon found his dark powers depleted, traveling into Alastor’s microphone staff. He and the dark spirits were now free to take over Hell, cause chaos and feast on innocent demon bodies and souls.

 It was at this moment that Alastor had a choice to make…one that could determine the fate of Hell itself. His mother was currently in Heaven, and he hadn’t seen her for decades. For a brief moment, Alastor saw Charlie and her friends struggling against the Exterminators…even Lucifer and Lilith were having a hard time. He could either give into his evil carnal desires; claiming Hell and its denizens as his own. Or he could step in, save Charlie and the others (while giving back Lucifer’s power and everyone’s free will.) He could free Husk and Niffty from their servitude to him, deeply apologize and help save the day.

 If Alastor followed the good path, Charlie would be successful at last. A negotiation would be made: sinners could go to Heaven after proving themselves worthy in different ways. Some would go into rehabilitation at the hotel. Others would have to go through punishments in the other circles of Hell. Some would even be tested and “relive” their lives as humans in simulated scenarios of their former past. God also stated that all his subjects would have the choice to die a second time in the void…and that second death was still possible and unpredictable. Aside from God, and the long-living angels and deities, no one is truly immortal.

 If Charlie’s plan succeeded, then the rewards would all be worth it.

 Charlie and Vaggie would be happily married in Heaven, with their friends beside them in different forms as angels. Were they animal? Or human? Or a fusion of both? Vaggie transformed into a black-haired human women she had been before, save for her one eye and new black glistening moth wings from her back. Her human voice had returned to her and she discovered her human name: Vagatha. Husk remained a cat but with black angel wings instead of red wings with card suits on them. He found love in Heaven and discovered his human name: Hustle. If Niffty turned good, she, too would be happy and cheerful, resembling her human form more. If Baxter turned good, he would use his intelligence to make inventions and heal others with science. Alastor’s suit became light blue, white and brown, his human voice returned, and his head was now that of a red male deer. He and his dark-skinned mother embraced for a long time, bringing Charlie and the others to happy tears. Angel Dust discovered his true name; Anthony, and his face turned more human, though his hair was still white and he still had jumping/fighting abilities. He agreed to do porn/drugs outside of Heaven and only on occasion. Vaggie reunited with her family, while Angel, Molly and Aracknis spend time with their mother, Aranea (Latin for spider). (Their father Henroin was abusive).

Charlie served as a mediator between Heaven and Hell, she was half Angel and half Demon, after all. Her parents stayed and ruled Hell but the royal family could visit each other every other month. Vaggie advocated for women and Hispanic souls…and violent souls who had been wronged in life.

Angel Dust and his siblings were still very much troublemakers, but they started to mend old wounds from their times of being Italian mafia members and drug abusers. Both Husk and Angel were mentors for kids who came into Heaven, and also took care of pets and animals that died on Earth.

Alastor hosted new radio shows complete with dad jokes, New Orleans’ jazz and listings of Creole food recipes. (He still has to be reminded not to announce gruesome murders nor to perform any…he had to get used to not having dark powers anymore.) He ate pork and meat in replacement of demon/human flesh, for despite having the head and features of a deer, his new teeth were human and fairly sharp. In Heaven, his friendship with Charlie was finally genuine and they bonded deeper than ever before. Alastor not only became her close friend, but also her protector (along with Razzle and Dazzle) and even a loving father figure (Lucifer still doesn’t approve very much).

Yes, there were tons of bad people who still went to Hell, did bad things and lost their lives into the void. But for every bad action, there was a sliver of hope for good to prevail.

 For their final act, everyone would join hands together, singing in harmony, Charlie leading the chorus with a song about making it to the end of the rainbow of happiness. So one could say they lived happily ever after…but with more chaos and unpredictability thrown in.