#give ZERO damn
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the sharp inhale raphael does when you tell him to paint you a picture cracks me up so bad. bro couldn’t wait to give his little theatrical number.
#raphael is literally that ‘he looks like he’s itching to tell me a riddle’ meme#he’s so annoying. im obsessed with him#yes i have the better raphael outfits mod. he’s not allowed to speak to me while wearing that fugly default outfit of his#i have a love hate relationship with it. on one hand it gives me the ick but on the other he still somehow looks so damn fine in it#pisses me off 😒#especially because i just KNOW he’d be the biggest judgmental asshole when it comes to tav/durge’s fashion choices#like girl… you have ZERO room to talk wearing that fugly fit#looking like lord farquaad from shrek 😒#anyways this stupid mod makes me insaaaaaaaane he looks so good i need to be put in a straight jacket before i start gnawing at his ankles#ignore my party of edgelords. no one is safe from the drow black dye#bg3#raphael
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— iasip + rain
11x09 | 15x08 | 13x10
#aka it’s always raining in philadelphia#and someone needs to give mac an ssri#2 of the 3 damn girl u ever smile…#:(#charlie kelly#mac mcdonald#iasip#its always sunny in philadelphia#it’s always sunny in philadelphia#iasip gifset#also i know it rains for 2 sec in dumpster baby#and like zero point one seconds in storm of the century#but this is specifically referring to end of season arcs/finales#the gang goes to hell#the gang carries a corpse up a mountain#mac finds his pride#mfhp#my gifs
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I feel like Phobos would need some sort of charisma to achieve what he created with Project Nexus and to have people continue it after his death. I don't think fear is a good motivator in Nevada. He explicitly doesn't fully grasp the Machine and the Employers, but I feel he once had genuine conviction in seeing Nevada prosper. But that quickly warped into seeking power to elevate himself to where he could have Nevada in his own hands.
If you've dehumanised existence to the point of it being merely a tool, coupled with seemingly having "control" over the most powerful and integral plane of existence (the Other Place; think of it like. we found out Hell is real and we can harvest power from it), AND you directly entertained powers greater than yours, it'd definitely uh. well definitely warp a person if they didn't have the strongest moral convictions.
Obviously, this whole project was brought about because the Employers wanted something (most likely for the people of Nevada to work out how to make clones for them; I imagine the Machine can't exactly "create life"), but there must've been a reason they chose Phobos, on top of him being a G01 Nevadean.
Speaking of, that would make Phobos very old... makes me wonder if he's slowly cultivated people/settlements under his 'banner'. What that banner would be I'm not sure. Maybe he always had a gut feeling that there was something 'more' to existence, that there were powers unseen throughout all of Nevada.
Considering he's a G01, maybe he was one of the first to encounter the potential to come back from the Other Place. Hmmmm.
#_text#trying to understand the lore via the wiki gives me a genuine headache brah i need to play the damn game and process it myself#in greek mythos phobos is the god of fear/panic and ultimately he does become that. a subset of war. but I like to think maybe its also the#primal fear of realising your existence is meaningless. that you will be erased. you are impermanent. but if you are strong and important#enough you will live forever. that is unless someone else's narrative swallows yours whole#i like to think he was the first to dawn/arrive on this potential reality. and he tried to change his fate. tried to make a difference#but powers greater than him organised his downfall in tandem with his own hubris. power corrupts and all that#phobos has come to my attention lately cus of antijokeism asking me about zero and phobos and I think there's potential#hrghhhh rubbing my brain wrinkles cmon think... think thoughts... nowwwwww
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in a world where everything is okay, i can just imagine gojo being a horrifically great babysitter for megumi and being unofficially adopted into the fushiguro family like
toji hates his guts, and gojo hates his guts too—but fushimama is so nice and kind, and finds him to be an absolute darling, and toji will always fold to his wifes whims every time—so toji puts up with the annoying blue-eyed menace
at the very least, he can take solace in the fact that baby megs also hates him, and fushimama has never seen her boys so cooperative and together as a family unit before—despite it being at gojos expense lmao
as much as she wants to break up their mini-fights and bickerings, she doesn't because it is somehow enrichment for the three of them
she always manages to wrangle gojo to stay just a bit longer for dinners on the weekends, despite him insisting that he doesn't want to be a bother. the smile that spreads on her face when toji invites him to stay for dinner for the first time—toji would do anything for that smile. even put up with gojo teasing him for being so down bad for her LMAO
#wynn talks#damn my first non-nanago post#i am a fan of many faces#faces being obsessions with fictional characters and their relationships and their hypothetical happy endings and scenarios#but yeah—gege you didnt even give fushimama a nameeeeee#aUGH—I MEAN ITS NOT GONNA BE HARD TO GIVE HER A NAME#I CAN JUST GOOGLE SOMETHING BUT LIKE#GEGE JUST SAID 'lmao toji had a wife btw' and DIPPED#LITERALLY ZERO CHARACTERIZATION#NOTHING#NOT EVEN A NAME#IM SO FUCKING DISTRAUGHT#we dont even know how they met up or whatever#and like—im never gonna be over the fact that she didnt have a nameeeee#imagine being so important to a character that they fundamentally changed their entire life AND gave us another extremely important charact#bUT NOT EVEN HAVE A NAME#this is some motherfuckin genshin impact scaramouche backstory bullshit like cmonnnn#but yeah if i ever post abt them again ill have probably spent weeks agonizing over the perfect name for this woman that we barely know lma#also—this is a nanago blog so you bet ur ASS that ill be turning this into some nanago bullshit AHAHA#already the ideas are brewing in my mind...#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk headcanons#gojo satoru#toji fushiguro#fushimama#toji fushiguro wife#bro i hate it here i had to fuckin look up the tags for her#because she DOESNT HAVE A FUCKING NAME IM GONNA COMMIT CRIMES#god the hassles and slight frustrations and i have to go thru to tag shit properly dfjknghlksd
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oh lord the "lets make a medusa retelling comic where i have the idea and you do all the work" is back. with a new sales tactic: telling me how rich we'll become.
#give me a damn script bro I would lay my life down for a good script#but no you want to sell your comic on amazon and you have zero writting work to show me#when I become emperor i will make creative writting classes illegal#i am going off topic#anyways i know people (u know who u are) who have written scripts that I would drop everything to work in any capacity with#I'd be the cleaning staff just to work near a good script#when I wanted to work with an actor I respected and admired I sent him a full proper script and it was for a completely free fan thing too#and it was after having casual discussions with him about what he felt like doing etc I didn't just come out of nowhere like hi#i heard ur an actor so lets work together
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its him. mister unethical science of shitty little experiment fame
#999#zero escape#9 hours 9 persons 9 doors#the nonary games#ace (ze)#gentarou hongou#999 spoilers#ze spoilers#myart#gghero art#its a portal 2 reference!#friend of mine and i were talking about how hes kinda cave johnson#or actually its the other way around didnt portal 2 come out later#anyway doesnt matter. ceos of not giving a damn about what the ethics board says
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It's midnight and I have a test today.
But I can't sleep dude. This is so fucking stressful
Edit: if you could vote and you didn't, fuck you. Eat shit. I hope both sides of your pillow are warm and your charger doesn't work. You're part of the fucking problem.
#im actually so mad rn#like i wanna punch the wall pissed off#im talking about the US election btw#how are people voting for this fucking felon cheeto ass bitch?!#HE WANTS TO DISMANTLE DEMOCRACY AND DOESNT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ANYONE#YOU STUPID ASS MOTHERFUCKERS#the only reason a person would vote for this complete fucking idiot (who has ZERO presidential qualifications) is because either#1. youre a complete fucking moron#2. youre a piece of shit one percenter who doesnt give a damn about anyone other than yourself#fuck trump i wish he fucking died during those assassination attempts#election 2024#donald trump#maga 2024#maga morons#us politics#kamala harris#kamala 2024#us elections
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You're my baby, say it to me...
#gundam witch from mercury#gwitch#wfm#sulemio#suletta mercury#miorine rembran#i bet on losing dogs as per gwitch current story progression aka ep17 do you see my vision...#i have particular mixed feelings on ep 17 most of which i feel that the story is done a bit sloppy i think it started around ep 16 or 15#i really need to get this out so i could study damn it !!#first of all with miorine with the one who's losing a lot by being complicit with prospera's quiet zero significantly trapping herself furt#er in the cycle of revenge and also losing the friends she has come to cherish and also... at the same time knowing hal truths of what real#ly happened prospera true plan. vanadis. aerial and suletta true nature. earth as a spacian battleground. and the whole lot#i feel like she's rushing thru her birthday to eject sul asap from prosperas plan and now whats done is done i feel like she underestimate#what conviction on how suletta values what family means to her. prospera lines where she wonders whether sul will give aerial up#easily is giving vibes that its possible for suletta to take drastic measures to get her family back. miorine grows up on a world that#is defined by strict rules but suletta does not... that is after she's starting to get over her heartbreak i think...#whats interesting about gwitch is that although it considered utena as one of its base material it mixes said materials with how gundam sto#ryline works while simultaneously keeping up with today's themes. so honestly... when this happened today im a bit pissed#another thing that even though on a surface level suletta plays the role of utena with miorine as anthy they are also anthy and utena#respectively. suletta and utena with their kind hearted and naive self with a sense of justice left behind the insidious plot of the school#anthy and miorine titled the bride who adored their respective partner up to the point of deception and betrayal for their own good#SULETTA AND ANTHY GOD THE WITCh. red motifs. i find it funny they both have siblings okay this is messed up. the character shrouded in myst#ery. SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS THE CHICK WHO IS YET TO HATCHH !!!! RAHHH#insert utena student council theme somewhere around here#and lastly utena and miorine. the “princess”that is ready to take on a world that is threatening her loved one. both are only child god no.#this is my personal feelings but i will find it heartbreaking that despite everthing suletta will runs to miorine no matter how much she#push her away... but i also want and find it interesting where despite loving and believing in her suletta will slowly will ALSO despise#her for letting them drift apart kind of like anthy and utena on the akio apocalypse arc....... do i want this to happen...? do i....? >yes#regardless augh what a heartwrenching lovely episode despite me knowing it will happen at some point during the show#im like the surprised pikachu meme with tears in my eyes
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METAL SONIC X CHAOS ZERO!!!
IN ALL THE CHARTS I COULD FIND!!

Some of the charts got repetitive, so i cropped it.
NOTES: there may be someee minor inconsitences as sometimes id change mind my across one chart to another.
If you want an expliantion for ANY of my choices here, please ask! I am starving for conversation about this relationship- so please please please ask my questions- or just tell me your own ideas! Idk! Communicate! Your words and thoughts are not dumb!! They are very important to me and must be shared!!!
Also, some more of my thoughts + notes after the cut:
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I think my favorite charts are the first two, since the first one was pretty thourghough and easy to get whilst also including intresting and unique questions to the relatio ship dynamic. the second one i added a bit of character interaction so its really cute, and thats practically why i like.
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I particularly like the touch chart, as i really had to consider wthe physicality of these two, and the custom model was fun to make (look they're even holding hands haha). It was a bit tricky considering i had to figure out what touches where welcomed and what weren't based on previous canonical interactions, and my own theories/speculations.
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Oh, to explian the "lends clothes" and "borrows/steals clothes", i always found the neat detail of Neo Metal Sonic's wardrobe possesing a kind of.. arm warmer/bell sleeve? As well as its pants(?) Being a bell bottom.
Without the belt/butt cape, it does make metal sonics limbs somehwhat resemble the sillouette of Chaos' body, so obviously- i just figured that Chaos, if he were to wear any clothing, would probably be stolen by Metal Sonic since it already seems to be fond of that particular look that Chaos naturally has.
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Oh, and Metal and Chaos being somewhat organized is due to thier jobs and enviornment they grew up in. Eggman, being the opposite of Sonics carefree, chaotic attitude, would likely prefer more cleaner, organized or "controlled" enviornments. Thus, i feel that Metal Sonic may have picked up a few tidying or cleaning habits that were a cause of eggman simply teaching or implimenting features in his bots to prefer the "clean up" of "dirty" or "messy" areas.
For chaos, i do recall reading something (perhaps on the chao wiki) of him purifying the Altars water and keeping it relatively clean from debries and such. Furthermore, having to be sole guardian of little children chao, the altar and the master emerald, requires a lot of responsibility and- if anyone has worked with children before- it can get very messy very quickly. So its mere speculation, but i do think Chaos would have picked up many cleaning habits as well, as well as cooking/harvesting skills due to him having to take care of large batches of critters.
Surprisingly, for a creature named "Chaos", the name only truely applies to the singular instance in which he is "Final Chaos" (as thats likely what the echidnas called him during and after that time.) Turns out, Chaos is way more controlled and responsible than chaotic and carefree.
So to segway, out of the two, Metal Sonic would be way more chaotic considering its nack for stirring up trouble (CD, Sonic Heroes, Chaotix.. ect) for the heroes, as well as it not really having major responsibilites outside of its purpose to "destroy sonic" and occasionally obey whatever task eggman requires of it.
Thus, is why in the driving promps, i title it "a speeder".
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To explain the "Cognito Egro Sum" (aka. I think therefore i am) and the "infinty symbol" for the ages, er.. Metal sonic is a robot, and Chaos is an immortal being. If your being technical with it, you can say they're both relatively young, considering Chaos chao can't age and are often stuck in the form they were hatched in- despite the fact that chao do infact change as they age-
One can consider the idea that Chaos, for all intensive purposes, looks and probably is pretty young- if we apply chao logic to him.
Though one will argue "but Chaos is ancient" which is true, but his case is similar to Shadow's as he was trapped in that Master emerald for... millions of years............. so, similarly to how shadow was stuck for 50 years yet remains a teenager both inside and out, Chaos- for whatever age he was before he got trapped, probably still thinks and acts like that, as well as Tikal. Except now they probably need a LOT of therapy.
^hence why i put chaos's sleeping habits as "sleeps poorly" and "sleeps to little". In hindsight, being trapped in a emerald for thousands of years, with your freind of who's father killed your entire* family and burned your house (altar) down and tried to steal your most precious item (master emerald) and being the girl whos stuck with your freind(?) who killed your entire bloodline and basically genocided your entire community- stuck with him for THOUSANDS OF YEARS- is.....is going to require a lot of therapy.
So y'know, bad sleeping problems. Also probably why i depict Chaos hugging a lot + being affectionate, since being deprived your community that is entirely reliant on the concept of "caring, loving, and nurturing one another" (cause.. the opposite of that means chao will basically die upon reincarnation), for thousands of years is... a good recipe for touch starvation and a need for attention.
^hence why chaos is also on the attention side of some charts.
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^ just conintuing off of that previous statement, i did move Chaos closer towards "extrovert" in the "extrovert or introvert" prompts, as since Chaos, unlike Metal Sonic, deals closely with many chao, and often is surrounded by a crowd of them, i do believe that Chaos would have to atleast gain some energy from social interaction in order to surivive that every day, without burning out.
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The whole "who talks more" thing is kind of funny because, technically, its metal sonic (see Sonic Heroes + Sonic Free riders) who has more lines than.. Chaos's total of zero!
Meaning that, if anything, the "he said no pickles" meme would probably mean that Metal Sonic would be at the counter whilst Chaos is sitting in the back.
Though, compared to MANY other characters, these two are practically dead-silent, and would most likely rely on non-verbal ways of affection than verbal.
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Oh and the "ethical v. Immoral thing" where i emphasized that chaos was "neutral" was because by compsring him to "chaos chao", theres a dark side, good guy side, and then neutral. Considering Chaos's history of amazingly goodwilled to horrendously incidous, one can conclude that he practically in the middle in terms of ethics or morality.
Metal sonic is definetly on the more immoral side, though i wouldnt put it all the way, as i do have considering enviornmental aspects to its behavior (such as well.. being a badnik, and being constantly exposed to eggman's immoral behaviors). So, other than like, unnesecarily abusing animal freinds in CD, and throwing a ship probably full of people at sonic (Sonic heroes) there aren't many instances in which Metal Sonic does something completely immoral and unjust- without any context regarding eggman ordering it too, or simply it just doing its job as a badnik.
However those actions are prettt bad on its own- though compared to... killing out an entire species... drowning thousands of people in a city and attempting to kill eggman with a giant laserbeam... and to whatever hyjinks eggman gets up too...
Its actions seem.. relatively small (though not obsolete.)
So like, theres not going to be many issues regarding "metal sonics gotta be a good guy"/ "i can fix him🥺" mentalities, since its kind of hard to do that, when you have a kill count of a 100+ whilst Metal Sonic is still on the "i'm needlessly harming animals, and threw a boat"...
Then again, i like to think the leiniency allows for them to work on themselves together, rather than tear eachother down or hate eachothers guts.
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Transgender - both for my headcannnon, but also a refrence to it literally going "i transformed myself with my own hands" and well, i cant resist a pun/play on words now can i?
Agender- chaos dont have.. genders.
However, i thought this would change when introduced to concept of feminine and masculine models of the ancients in frontiers, but looking at Chaos, he doesnt resemble either one very much (tbh, in Sonic Forces, his model actually looks more akin to the fem version, than the pointy and sharp masc ones) and looks more akin to that of the children, if anything.
Plus, being masculine or feminine isnt really and indicator of gender anyways.. so like..???
So what? Does Chaos, gender? NOPE! Chaos isn't an ancient (thats his ancestor) and is a mutated chao. Chaos are genderless, or atleast out of that particular binary.
If Tikal showed up one day and started calling Chaos a "he/him", its likely that Chaos could've just.. adopted that. Assigned pronouns by random. Amazing.
So agender, as i can't think of anything else.
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Sexuality -idk. Look, i dont consider whomth one likes. The knowledge of my characters, or other characters sexualites comes upon me in the way preists suddenly hear the words of their gods.
I dunno, until suddenly i know. Thats just how it is.
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Ending it here cause im hungrt and cant think of anything else to chat on.
#metal sonic#chaos 0#chaos zero#metal sonic x chaos 0#metaos#shipping chart#still obssesed with that touch chart btw#like i did not realize Metal Sonic had such head-pat energy untill now#i even added an extra' lighter green to indicate where the nirvana spots are#like considering i kind of just had to guess and speculate based on minor context clues- ESPECIALLY with Chaos-#i think i did an okay job with Metal?#but damn i didnt realize how much upper body touches between these two have effected my physce. like of COURSE they'd have opposite touch-#but just seeing that stark difference is so fascinating to me. like#the no no spots make sense because these are important assets to their body inorder for them to function properly. touch a brain is danger-#-ous and touching its inner jet engine wings incorrectly may break then and ground Metal Sonic (in bird logic- that equals to death!)#but like the hands and chest thing for chaos makes some sense considering he'd have to care for chao who may have to be picked up- or#even carried in his arms- of course he'd feel comfortable there. but metal sonic who is mostly orange- would only be accustomed to generall#negative or bad touches like punches- hits- the sweet kiss of concrete scratching every once of metal off its body...#with the only generally positive ones being for mantience by eggman- thus everything is a “depends”.#but the head- the head pats- that area is the one that gets the most positive attention- especially considering eggman in the mixture#due to being tall- hed have to settle for doing head pats to give it praise- which mightve made Metal Sonic associate his head with “good-#-touch“. whilst the opposit reind true for chaos- whos body is practically impenterable except for its head (particularly its brain).#so people would attack it from that particualr region#and the vunerability and lack of defense would cause him to associate that area with “bad touch”#fun stuff!! this was super fun!!!!!!
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Do you still like big time rush or has James ruined them for you?
i have absolutely no idea how long ago this was from but like. y'all what even is this offhand ask lmao ( ; ⚆ _ ⚆ )
but alright screw it, just to set the record straight: i loved Big Time Rush lots and lots, that much is obvious. the nick show itself was such an integral part of my childhood, and i absolutely have no regrets about rediscovering the band last 2020 and diving in headfirst right into the deep end *Hot Summer by Heffron Drive starts blasting out* of their music and inevitably joining the fandom. i'm especially forever thankful for all the interesting experiences and fun projects and amazing friends i've made along the way, so i'm sincerely always going to have a certain fondness for BTR in the deepest crevices of my vv heart and soul.....
although yes, certainly *that* whole situation and other such related unfortunate controversies had kinda soured it to the point where i got uncomfortable calling myself a rusher—but that ultimately wasn't what made me fall out, it was just plain 'ol ✨burnout✨ idk keeping up with the fandom just got a little bit too hectic and way too toxic for me, so i moved on to other things better for my peace of mind. anyway, i'm mostly into cool J-pop stuff and ofc my most beloved svensk pojkband FO&O nowadays (also for language-learning purposes hehe :^D) and tbh these have been so incredibly wonderful and healing for me.....but i confess, i still kinda miss BTR and check in on them from time to time. hell, i even have a whooole bunch of chaotic BTR ocs that casually live rent-free in my mind now and forever and i'm constantly tempted to return to this rotting blog just so I can endlessly infodump lore abt them but i'm Annoying™ and who'd want that anyway soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
so yes, i do love Big Time Rush. despite everything, i still like the show and the music, i like all the silly wacky unhinged creations and nostalgic memories i have of it, i like the fandom generally and seeing notifs still pop up on this inactive blog as the ever-faithful rushers continue to thrive and be inspired by the band and its legacy (shoutout to all the new-wave tumblrushers hehe i see u guys much love and hugs and i hope y'all keep up all the fun vibes and creativity here mwah xoxo (*^3^)/~♡), and i really don't wanna allow anything to ruin all those good feelings i got from them, even if that means being critical and letting go of certain aspects. i don't have to love everything about it, really. just enough for me is hopefully enough ❤️🩹
and now, the musical journey continues...?
(p.s. #1: UNRELATED-ISH GIF BUT ALSO I PROMISE THIS GIF IS RELEVANT BC HE'S TECHNICALLY ONE OF MY BTR OCS SO LIKE THAT COUNTS RIGHT??? ( ꈨຶ ˙̫̮ ꈨຶ ))
(p.s. #2: BTR actually dropped by our country in their world tour last October 2024,,, too little, too late :"))) and apparently there was a whole fucking drama that went down abt it too??? anubayan nakakahiya gagi ahshdjsjdk)
#this ask kinda whack but aye at least i can use it to explain my disappearance for the last two years. not that anyone gives a shit but yk#this is a very sparknotes version though like seriously so much shit has went down in my existence istg#including getting hospitalised for a month major surgery and nearly getting nerfed by god but we gotta keep it nice and light here sorry ;×#n e way. i don't have much in the way of new btr stuff apart from my 10-member Heartbreaker Club OC au so prepare to be disappointed#and oh maybe i'll post my old btr drafts bc i have a whole load of those. my blog drafts sit at 2000+ rn so i gotta clear the archive out#there's still lots of gifsets and edits and shizz but unfortunately my fic drafts are trapped in a jank laptop with zero access#i have no idea. literally no one gives a damn allen lmao but i'm just spitballing here. i kinda miss actively being a part of a fandom tbh#so. a quiet blog reboot for now? i kinda wanna keep the FOOO theme bc it's nostalgic to me though.....#if i'm still unwelcome then. i'll go insane alone as always hehehe <3#btr#big time rush#asks#answered#all the windows down#I STILL CAN'T REMEMBER MY TAGS WHY DID PAST ME HAVE TO BE SO CONVOLUTED ABOUT IT THE SMARMY MOTHERYUCKER (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻#hello btw nonexistent audienceee (←peak delusional)
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#feeling controversial today i guess#but like#i am at the point where i actively do not get the hype around tommy#like he’s just some guy#most of what people seem to like AND hate about him seems to be just based on headcanons not anything he's actually done in canon#he's had exactly zero development outside of moving buck's character forward since showing up again#like sure maybe there's potential but it hasn't actually been used at this point he's just kind of there#i do not understand having particularly strong opinions on him in eithet direction#like fanon opinions sure he's fun in fic#but like. the way people seem to be mapping their fanon versions of him onto canon to fit either a blind adoration or a blind hatred for hi#is super weird to me#like he’s just som guy y'all why is half the fandom falling out over this dude while the other half has gone underground??#he's just not that interesting#i will never understand how hard this fandom goes for side characters#who have had next to no development of their own#i didn't get it with lucy#i don't get it with tommy#like to each their own#but damn the power y'all give these random characters who frankly just aren't that interesting in their current states is#a lot#like enjoy have fun no judgment there#but can we maybe stop actively attacking each other over this guy he's just some dude come on y'all#*either *him *some#i really need to proofread my tags#*also i think i mean more controversy rather than hype in that third tag. it's not really that i don't understand why people like him#but more that i don't understand how he inspires such extreme opinions#anti tommy kinard#just in case#this isn't meant to be anti really i'm just like. very neutral about him#911 discourse
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Day 64 (2/3)
Eleuthia-9


This was the door they could never pass, sealing away the other chambers of the Cradle, within sight but out of reach. They scored the door with angry red crosses in their rage. I passed through without problem.


Inside were workstations, each equipped with a Focus, sitting here untouched for centuries. I picked up all those that were still functioning for later use. I'll use Sylens' technique of backing up data to other Focuses as well. They're fragile things. Each Focus held only one message, an address from Samina Ebadji welcoming the children to Apollo and the beginning of their education. Then the message cut out, a voice saying that Apollo was offline. Sylens was eager for a way to bring it back online again. If there is one, I'll try to restore it, but finding out the truth about Gaia and my origins is more important.

Further on there was a hologram projector; a smaller version of those in the Zero Dawn facility. The machine announced a priority message for Elisabet Sobeck. For me.

Unlike the other holograms, this one covered the entire room; it was like being transported somewhere else. Darkness all around, and a glowing dome like the scanning radius of a Focus. The subordinate functions appeared first, each emitting a ray of holographic icons that coalesced to form Gaia. This time, nearly a millennia after her initial conception, she resembled the form from Elisabet's presentation, her dress shifting between shades, her movements like that of a human.


Gaia spoke of an unknown transmission that struck her systems—as sudden as a bolt of lightning, by the images she showed me. She said it...transformed her subordinate functions into intelligent, distinct, self-governing entities. Made them into AIs? I didn't know they could be created so quickly. From the data I've found, it used to take years, and they had to learn, but the functions were given intelligence and will out of thin air.
Given control over its own actions, Hades activated itself and began taking control away from Gaia as it was meant to in the event of a botched biosphere. By reversing terraforming operations, it could render life extinct in fifty days. To prevent this, Gaia resorted to destroying herself and Hades with her. This would buy time, but eventually the terraforming system would break down without a central governing intelligence. She said it would become 'increasingly erratic' in the meantime—the Derangement, I gathered, and the chaotic weather too.


Her solution was to generate a...reinstantiation of her creator. A copy; a clone. She said that 'high-level directives' prevented her from communicating directly with humans. I wonder why—is it because Apollo is offline, or was she never intended to speak to us in the first place? Gaia hoped that I would reenter the Cauldron in adulthood—perhaps the scan wouldn't have worked when I was young—take one of the Focuses and use it to view her message to me. From there I would be able to enter the other ruins of Zero Dawn facilities across the lands and repair the terraforming system before it was too late.
Gaia spoke to me as if I was Elisabet, used her name, relied on and believed in me as if I really was her. Did she understand that I'm not—that I don't remember, don't know anything about how to fix her?
Repair couldn't come until after Hades' destruction anyway, or it would only attempt to resume where it left off. Gaia directed me to the 'master override'—a tool in the facility where she operated from for all those centuries. With it, I would be able to purge Hades permanently.


Before Gaia could finish her instructions, Hades made its move in response to its imminent destruction. It dissolved the 'shackles' keeping it and the other subordinate functions within the system. They fled from Gaia's reach, escaping. Then Hephaestus wasn't the only other function to escape—they're all out there, hiding in ancient ruins, wreaking havoc wielding ancient machines. Are they all as dangerous and murderous as Hephaestus?
In its final act before fleeing itself, Hades corrupted data throughout Gaia's systems, including the Alpha registry in the Cradle. From that, Gaia knew I wouldn't be able access her instructions. Her final words as she burnt away into embers, the explosion destroying her central intelligence as her functions soared free, were words of hope. She believed that I, Elisabet, could succeed against the odds, as I once did long ago.
I guess she was right.

As the hologram faded out, it hit me all at once. I was never a person, just a tool forged with intent, something Gaia made to fix her systems in the fire of her death. There was never anyone waiting for me. The curse that the Nora speak of really did begin at my birth—the machines going rabid, the world spinning into chaos. Made by a machine to remake that machine that I once made in a life I can't remember.
Sylens snapped me out of it. There were two sides to this revelation. I have a mission, a purpose, and my path forward is clear. It's the only path. If I don't walk it, everything will die. Gaia was my mother, in a way, and Elisabet was too.


When I exited the hatch, half the onlookers were already kneeling. When Teersa asked me if I spoke to the goddess, I could find no better way to explain the truth. I was born to lift a curse, I told her. I was born to kill Hades, the Metal Devil of a new age.


Before I could stop them, the Matriarchs declared me Anointed of the Nora, calling for the faithful to praise me. They all fell to their knees, heads and palms pressed against the ground. Maybe I should have just stood there and taken it, but I couldn't. The anger I'd been harboring all my life came to the surface and I yelled at them, grabbed them, hoisted them to their feet, as many as I could reach. All those years they shunned me, ignored my existence or worse, and now they're using those very same backwards, cruel, nonsensical myths to set me apart above instead of below, call me their saviour, their prophet, theirs. I never was, and I never will be.
For centuries they've stayed here, kissing the ground that spat them out into a world that wasn't ready, forcing fear and ignorance onto all their people. I won't represent that.

I knew they would listen to me, for better or for worse, and so I told them what I'd learned. There's a whole world out there. Not a valley, not the sightlines of a single mountain, a world larger than they can imagine all coming to an end, full of people who deserve to be saved, no less favoured by the 'goddess' who created them. I told those who could fight to meet me in Meridian to do battle against the Eclipse when they launched their invasion. I thought it was a long-shot, but having been proven right, Teersa was looked to by the other Matriarchs to give orders. She bid them follow me into the west. I suppose they'll justify it by saying the blessing of an Anointed is far more powerful than the blessing of a mere Seeker.

I sought out Teersa once the crowd dispersed, though I could still feel their eyes on me. Even if Teersa's faith clouds her true understanding of what I am and why I was made, she's still the only reason I wasn't left in the wilds to die as an infant, and she's been kind to me. She always believed in me.
She told me Rost's story as well, finally. As the Anointed, which I guess is a thing, she didn't have much of a choice. What are oaths before the will of the goddess?
Rost committed no crime. Instead, he became a Death Seeker in a Nora rite that separates soul from body—whatever that means—to preserve the soul in All-Mother's protection while the body wanders from her sight. Once gone, the body is never permitted to return. Rost went through this ordeal to seek vengeance for a group of hostages taken and slain by outlanders, their corpses left in open mockery just across the border of the Sacred Lands. Teersa said the tribe never discovered who the outlanders were or what they wanted, but they delved in the ruins of Devil's Thirst, emitting strange, metal noises in their search. One of the hostages was Rost's six year old daughter, Alana. He never said.
On his quest for revenge, he journeyed north to Ban-Ur, further west to the Claim, through the Sundom and further still, to Utaru lands and Tenakth, then even deeper into the Forbidden West. He killed all twelve of the outlanders for their crimes. Rost returned to the Sacred Lands on the brink of death. He didn't even make it over the border on his own; another Nora broke taboo to drag him across. Law said he should have been left for dead, but knowing all that he had sacrificed for the tribe, the tribe couldn't follow through. They nursed him back to health and the Matriarch's 'compromise', in their infinite generosity, was to outcast him for life. Can't have a man without a soul in your village, that's just logical. And convenient, when the time came to get rid of me. Instead of leaving me to die, they left me in the care of a man who had lost a young daughter of his own. Teersa saw wisdom in that act, not cruelty, and said she was grateful for all Rost had done to raise and train me in the ways of Nora faith. He was so devout, I suppose no one else could have done better. I must just be resistant to that sort of thing.
Talking about Rost brought back old feelings. I should go and visit him again.
And I thought of Olin, too. Both Rost and I embarked from the Sacred Lands seeking revenge, but while the twelve outlanders displayed plain, remorseless cruelty—at least the way Teersa told it—Olin only obeyed the Eclipse to protect his family. His own young child. Killing him was a senseless act. Maybe's Rost's revenges were senseless too—the outlanders were unlikely to return, and all that was preserved in their continued existence was the injustice, the unhealed wounds of pride. He did it for the honour of the tribe, that nebulous thing. I thought myself distant from it, yet bent to its demands like all the rest. If I had let Olin live, he would have helped me take on the Eclipse. I had nothing to gain in slaying him, and far more to lose.
No sense in dwelling on it. There are worse crimes; I believe he forgave me.

I went to Lansra next. It was difficult to ignore her, with her wailing for my forgiveness as I walked past, bowing her head and raising her arms in half cower, half worship. She lamented her misreading of the signs—honestly I was expecting her to double down and say I'd gone into All-Mother's domain to plant a curse in her core. With the rest of the tribe against her, it's hard to tell whether she earnestly believes she was wrong, or is just going along to maintain her position. But she's likely too stupid for such elaborate deception. She doesn't think, doesn't care to look—just fears and lashes out against all things new or confusing to her. She grovelled, begged, touched her head to the floor in supplication. I couldn't stand it. I tried to tell her to open her eyes, to try and learn, but she took my advice literally. I told her to shut her mouth. She took that literally too. All of a sudden the cave was far more peaceful.

I met Arana and her father nearby. Thok tried to stop Arana from speaking so openly to the 'Anointed'. Great, more reasons for the Nora not to speak to me. I assured them it was alright, and to drop the titles, but I'm not sure they will. Arana brought her mother's spear all the way to the mountain, and I thanked them again for the improvements they made to my own.


I took some enjoyment in facing Resh as well. He stuck to his principles where Lansra failed to. Now that the tribe had accepted me as their figurehead, it was his tribe no longer. He said he would be leaving these lands first chance he got. Who's the outcast now?
I also spoke to Teb again, and though I tried to dissuade him from calling me the Anointed, he did so only outwardly. I could tell he idolised me, but he had done so since the Proving; my entering the mountain only solidified his belief. I asked him to stay here in the Embrace, at least, but he refused and said he would join me in Meridian. It would be a shame to see him killed for a cause I promoted after saving his life all those years ago. I wish he'd just stay safe.


Varl was waiting further on. He said he would join me in Meridian, and I would've expected no less of him, but what I did expect was...some sort of curiosity. I offered to show him the inside of the mountain, but he shut that down quick. Even my offer to tell him what I'd learned, to explain my mission, he said he would hear only if the 'goddess willed it'. I thought he was different to the others, that maybe...I thought I could rely on him, that's all. But he's just as willfully ignorant as the rest.


I couldn't stay after that, especially not with all the Nora staring, whispering prayers as I passed. I left the mountain and walked through the cooling ruins of Mother's Watch, taking the long way around to Rost's lodge on the western side of the cliffs enclosing the Embrace. Walking these roads now is even stranger than before. It's not just the charred ruins, the corpses of Deathbringers dotting the valley, it's what this valley means. What all of it means. It was on these lands that the first people born into a new world stepped, and made sacred. Everything that came after was made from the stories they spun to explain their existence. Only Sylens and I know the truth.
#again with the lore. god damn#her reactions to varl were heartbreakinggg. thank you remaster for giving the characters expressions#I could have squashed into 2 but eh#hzd#horizon zero dawn#aloy#aloy sobeck#aloysjournal#hzd remastered#photomode#virtual photography#horizon
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People seem to like the doodle page I did so here's the completion of a sketch on there :P
#feeding the hyperfixations with this one#i firmly believe that jax is smooth#zero fluff on that man#but god damn it i will give it to him if its the last thing i do#tadc#jax#tadc jax#gooseworx#the amazing digital circus#mixed media#digital render#traditional drawing#digital art#digital circus#doodle
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Okay, I'll say it. I don't like the idea that post epilogue, Dammon is just banging away at his forge alone, still holding a torch for Karlach. This isn't some comment made in jealousy at all, but one meant to say Dammon deserves better than to be some kind of thirst joke afterthought.
At the epilogue party, the game makes it pretty clear she's with Wyll if alive and not romancing the player.
In a DLC, Dammon is the perfect candidate to become an Artificer companion-hells maybe even become an origin option too! But most of us would settle for him to be simply a companion and romanceable like Halsin and Minthara or just a romanceable NPC that's not some one-time fling. He's someone we can visit on the daily most of the time, so yes, it can work.
But why? Because he deserves to be wooed and romanced by Karlach, Tav, one of the other companions, or hells all three at once. To say he can't be romanceable because he would lose his mystery is pure bullshit. Sorry Frazier, but it's true.
Gaw! It's so frustrating when a solution and an opportunity are all right there, and it's overlooked or ignored. He can be BOTH romanceable and mysterious when all that's needed is to write him in a way that leaves the player yet not Tav or Durge in the dark.
Dammon could even be written in a way where the player questions if our fav blacksmith could be up to no good. Let the fandom sweat over and argue about whether or not we should help him with some mysterious mission. Have him outright refuse to elaborate on it. Let him be equally tight-lipped about all he was forced to do or willingly did to survive in the hells when working on infernal machinery. This way, Frazier can play what he loves to play the most, and that is at least a potential bad guy. Well, not mean to the player but instead a character some might find almost as sketchy as Astarion is viewed would be fine.
*sighs* Why does he need to be romancable to everyone too? The simple answer, all of us could use a little bit more sunshine.
If I could say one thing to Frazier, it would be, "Karlach is not the only touch or affection-starved character out there. There are so many real people who need a Dammon in some form in their lives, even if it's only fictional. Karlach and Dammon's story is important to us. A Dammon and Tav/Durge story is just as important, too. These stories of love and friendship all need to be shown and celebrated. Plus, Dammon comes off as warm, thoughtful, and supportive, and so many of us out there really desperately need that-the more the better. We need it to feed our hopes to keep trying and open up our hearts again. So let him help fix heal more than just one heart, please. We all want to see him grow just a little more because he's such a fantastic character so far."
#i will die on this hill#bg3#baldur's gate 3#dammon#dammon deseves more love#pardon me#I just need to yell a little#just frustrated over such potential of a wonderful character going to waste#he's got so much wonderful potential#bg3 dammon#baldur’s gate 3#baldur’s gate 3 DLC#artificer class#battle smith#In BG3 EA Dammon was about the first NPC I overheard expressing his problems and with zero thought of a reward I just wanted to help.#no mission or quest given#I don't normally do any kind of roleplay in games.#But when I overheard him say he needed better tools I made my own damn side quest to give him every one I could find for free.#zero pity for him just felt oddly compelled to help his dreams come true with every hammer or anything blacksmith might need I plucked up#Hoped he would make it even though I was certain he'd end up dead in a ditch. That's what happens to most NPCs that pluck the heartstrings.#felt very protective over him in EA and still now#A tiny crush I fought tooth and nail because I was convinced we would find him dead in act 2 or 3 or never see again#it bloomed up to full-on love finding him again at the Last Light Inn at the full release of the game.#“Yah! I'm so happy to see you again! You're still alive!”#“But it’s not safe here! Oh nos!”#“You're here!” Happy and Excited#“You're here!” Fearful and Worried#Then that fucking ox!#“It's dead and oh here are a dozen hammers my love”#“That’s four times I've saved you. At least once directly. Wanna go out? What? Saving someone repeatedly IS a love language.”
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What never ceases to amaze me is how amazingly skilled George RR Martin is at creating a world so similar yet so glaringly different from our own. This is especially blinding in HOTD where the similarities between the Faith and Christianity, The Old Gods of Valyria and the North and pagan religions of old (and there slow and steady comeback in recent decades). The parallels that can be drawn between the Targaryen feeling of disconnect from their roots, lack of knowledge in their own history, and the history of so many people from across Africa, Europe, and the Americas is truly astounding.
What also never ceases to amaze me is how many religious people I know side with the Greens, like I wonder if they realize…
#house of the dragon#hotd#game of thrones#like do they get the irony#I truly hope they don’t#that would make it SO much funnier#like of COURSE you side with the medieval pick me and ser incel#THEY ARE YOU BABY GIRL#however I do feel sorry for the Hightower kids#cuz those poor babies never stood a snowballs chance in hell at being normal#their dad had like zero fucks to give for any kid but Rhaenyra#and Rhaenyra was too busy keeping her shit show of a life together to worry about her shitty ex bestie’s kids#but like#they could have been great#well maybe not Aegon#but like MAYBE if they hadn’t been shoving that gods be damned throne up his ass since childhood#idk he’s still a rapey alcoholic but like MAYBE
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it's also unfair of kiseki to get me with the steel chair again when i've just had my shit kicked in by three other pieces of media today alone
#four if you count the righteous gemstones premiere yesterday#five if you count rewatching stardust for movie night on saturday#i can't believe letterkenny made me emotional today. letterkenny!! how dare!!#EMOTIONS ARE DUMB AND SHOULD BE HATED#i don't like this. i need to watch some unbearable schlock that causes me to lose my will to live#seven wishes was bad and stupid but i need something that truly awakens my dormant hater#even fucking star wars introducing a character named savage opress could not bring me down. who am i even!!#keeping my netflix account could have been useful because nothing makes you believe in the death of art like their corporate swill#DAMN my lack of foresight. somewhere on plex i must have something so mind-numbingly mediocre i return to an apathetic baseline#thailand this is your moment. this is your time to shine#you've given me two shows in a row i've had a blast with and now i need you to give me utter slop. i know you have it in you#give me your low-budget your poorly written your huddled masses of dog-ass BL yearning to give me zero emotional investment#there are 613 shows in this folder and at least one of them has to be shithouse#i've had too much good luck with shows i MUST reset the karmic balance of the universe
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