#girl you are NOT FUNNY!!!

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[bloodtwin]

( @accultant ) ⸻ he doesn’t throw up in a vase this time, so that’s nice. he almost does but not because he feels compelled to pulp the cleric. it’s because today is the day iago finds him. young iago. stir-crazy, touch-starved iago. angry iago. 

puck doesn’t know how he’ll react to seeing them. how they’ll react to seeing him. not well. very much not well at all. and it’ll be slightly different from last time. he looks different, the most glaringly obvious change being his white hair, but he also has scars over his right eye and under his chin. they’ll know something is wrong from those alone. he used to never get scars.

& if his appearance doesn't set off any alarms, then his performance in battle certainly would. he’s sure they were watching the fight against marcus. there’s no way they didn’t notice the change in his fighting; iago knows his old techniques better than anyone. he doesn’t like saying his fighting is weaker now than before, but it is certainly . . .  less intense.

the skill & ability are still there, but his moves are unpolished, rusty. he can’t do what he used to. not only that, but he can die. really, truly die, and his wounds don’t heal overnight. he can’t fight with reckless abandon anymore, so there was a new level of restraint & care that wasn’t there before. even so, he still got pretty scuffed up, having to wait to join the others at the bar so shadowheart could patch him up. he’s her primary patient at this point. well, that’s true in the future too, isn’t it ?   

just because he’s learned to take care of himself doesn’t mean he does it well. only better than he had before. that being said, he’s currently stuck with claw marks in his arms, several lovely bruises, & a limp in his left leg. how quaint. he stumbles his way over to the bar where iago pretends to be friendly with his companions. he’d planned to sneak up on them to be funny, but that probably wouldn’t work in his favor with his injuries. a shame. 

i’ll have to time travel again, i suppose. i need to perfect my run. 

puck leans against the bar to conceal how much he shakes in anticipation of speaking to them.  ‘   hey, look ⸻   ’   his voice is dry, despite the nerves, as he gestures at his white hair. he can always pull off a joke. ‘  ⸻ we match now.   ’

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[madscientistenthusiast]

Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite

[chloesimaginationthings]

Everyone “hates” Mike in the FNAF movie..

[casmick-consequences]

literally the king of oneliners

[part 2]

[outerspacetown]

inspired by this legendary post by @samberriez !

[idolomantises]

If Monsters and Girls ever gets a tv show my only request is that it doesn’t become that kind of show where a male character with a small role somehow overshadows the female cast.

And you WILL draw Yuri

[ladyloveandjustice]

This is literally the exact opposite logic of a guy complaining about being friendzoned in every way, but it manages to be just as incoherent. I'm impressed, Okarun.

[ministarfruit]

day 24: plagued by the horrors ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

[joejhang]

tsc was such a cultural reset bc for so long all we had was neil's (unreliable) narration and some small snippets from the extra content for povs. neil's narrator bias is actually insane and as much as i love him i'm so fucking glad we have jean and jeremy's povs they were so fucking refreshing and not just EXY EXY EXY EXY andrew's eyes andrew's hair EXY EXY EXY EXY EXY EXY homoerotic monologue about kevin day EXY EXY EXY EXY andrew minyard EXY EXY EXY

[faunandfloraas]

Countdown to Seungmin's Birthday ↘ D-6: Fanboy.

[mouseshift]

[chloesimaginationthings]

Glitchtrap has one more FNAF task for Vanessa..

[inkskinned]

one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.

the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.

like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.

but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.

so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.

i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?

but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?

sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?

and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.

nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.

the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!

and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.

[jq37]

Brennan giving Jennifer Drips--played by his good friend Ally Beardsley--a Dutch-ex is diabolical.