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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 4 years ago

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JULY PICKS!

You heard me correctly, I said JULY! Whoosh, this year is going by fast-but not in a good way if you know what I mean. This will be my last monthly wrap up where I am strictly staying home in quarantine as this upcoming week I’m heading back to work in person. Wish me luck!

We had quite the range this month from newly released, reality, musical and then some favorites from last month that I’ve continued watching. Without further ado here we go....

There’s going to be PLENTY of SPOILERS this go round. ESPECIALLY with my first pick of Stargirl. You’ve been warned!!!

DC’S STARGIRL

I need to talk about 1x10 or I’m going to burst!!! As stated above there will be A LOT of SPOILERS IN THIS POST!! So scroll down to the next picture if you don’t want it to be spoiled.

You’ve been warned...again.

IT CANNOT END LIKE THAT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Henry! Wow! 1) Epic fighting 2) The backstory and how he wasn’t going to give up on his dad AND THEN how he wouldn’t give into his dad. 3) HE DIED RATHER THAN JOIN HIS SIDE OR PRETEND (which I honestly felt was going to happen). His character arc and I can’t believe it’s over!!! 4) His speech at the end: *weeping.* I knew Brainwave was going to say he killed his mother. It just felt like the build up. Brainwave Jr. would have been a GREAT ADDITION TO THE JSA! AND OMG THE WAY THE REST OF THEM FOUGHT FOR HIM! I loved how they framed it so you could still see them in the back when Henry spoke to his father. Super heartbreaking. Man, it feels like a lot of people have been killed off this first season (or am I just still thinking about Joey?)

Side note: Check out the Instagram Live between father and son Brainwave on Stargirl’s CW page. Jake Austin Walker did an AWESOME interview in his take over.

This was one of the strongest episodes overall and definitely one of my favorites so far. I agree with many others that while it is SOO GOOD and I want to rewatch it again, I don’t know if I can emotionally yet. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way about a show.

Some other thoughts this episode: WAY TO GO BARBARA! Way to record them to translate later (such an awesome app btw, how do I get it?). I’m glad her and Pat came more to an understanding because I love them especially with that glimpse into how they met. Jordan’s parents give me the creeps, like the couple from The Visit vibes. I feel like Mike’s got to find out ASAP, especially because he’s spent time in the garage. Something’s got to show him the truth; because I’m really feeling he figures it out rather than being told. Very curious to see what his reaction will be. SOLOMON GRUNDY. Thank God Beth talked Rick down. She really is like Chuck in being the voice of reason. She did really well in the cafeteria too. While I still don’t believe Starman is Courtney’s dad, how cute was it when she put together her and Henry were cousins? Speaking of Court’s dad, who else didn’t feel like Starman was her dad until they saw that upcoming promo? I don’t know who that impostor is but he is not her dad. Something’s fishy.

Loving this show. So happy it’s renewed for a second season!!

THE 100

From a show I can’t get enough of to one whose final season is a disappointment. I’m not going to spend too much time talking about The 100 because I feel I’ll just be repeating myself from previous posts. However, I did want to include it because I haven’t spoken much about the previous 2 episodes that I wound up watching back to back and I didn’t overly dislike them.

As many have complained, when you have a final season you shouldn’t introduce SO MANY new characters and just push aside your originals (or the ones who are left). You also shouldn’t include so many confusing plots that are making it look like were the main points overall (like this many world concept was around since the first grounders) and playing with time in so many episodes is hard to keep up with too. Having so many people separated makes it difficult to remember what just happened to this specific group because I haven’t seen them in forever. ANYWAY, I did promise some positives. I didn’t except to like 7x08 because of it being a flashback episode with brand new people that was just going to feel like a potential spin-off pilot. Well...I actually really enjoyed it and the concept that the bunker was used before One Crew. The characters were easy to like and it was cool seeing Allie again (and this time not as the villain). While it felt forced including the orb (is that what it’s called? If not that’s what I’m calling it), but I liked how all the other pieces fit together (ex: the flame, the grounders’ language). Honestly, I surprise myself to say this, but I’d watch another episode. For 7x09, I liked being on Bardo and watching Octavia, Echo, Diyoza and Hope slowly get “brainwashed” I mean trained. We all knew it wouldn’t work for Hope and if I was them I would rather be on Sky Ring than Bardo (but then I guess I’d go crazy, so...) I enjoy the Octavia and Levitt relationship and would love them to work out, but if this show taught you anything it’s to be skeptical. I also want to shift to the Primes plot, just to showcase John Murphy for a second. THAT MAN! What a character development he’s had on this show. From the first season where I was like come on Murphy to now me awaiting his scenes. From cockroach to someone who won’t view himself as a hero. So good and something that is fantastic about this final season. They might have forgotten about other characters, but they’re doing it right by Murphy.

Well, that was more than I was expecting. ;)

THE CIRCLE

It feels like I haven’t watched a lot of reality TV this year, which makes sense because of our quarantine situation (but then again I’m watching World of Dance, but that’s a different because it’s more of a competition/dance show. I’ll stop rambling). The Circle is a reality ‘game’ show that could be easily completed during quarantine and social distancing because the contestants do not see each other in person. They each have an apartment in this complex and only communicate with each other on a social media platform called the Circle. The objective is to become the most popular and an influencer who gets power over who stays and who goes in the competition. There’s some side contests throughout, but most of the show is just people chatting through an insta messenger and trying to learn as much as they can. Alliances are formed and cat fishes try to thrive all for the grand prize of $100,000. (Wow, that’s a lot!) It is SUPER addicting and very funny. Having a voice-over narrator really makes it even funnier because she says what we’re all thinking. Just about every episode a contestant leaves and then is able to meet one other person in their apartment. It’s been cool seeing their reactions as oftentimes it’s someone they did not expect AT ALL. I can’t wait to finish it. If you’re a fan of Big Brother than this is definitely for you. Looks like there will be a second season, which I am excited about.

THE BABYSITTERS CLUB

Jumping from one Netflix show to another. Released on Netflix on July 3rd, I tried not to binge it all in one day because then it would be over (and we still don’t know if there will be a second season yet). This is definitely my feel good watch for July. If you want something that’s a quick watch and just wholesome and fun to escape our current world than this is for you. I always felt so happy after watching and couldn’t wait to watch another. While I was familiar with the franchise--the 90s movie and of course the books (although I was more of a Babysitter Little Sister fan, so I was very excited to see Karen), you don’t have to have any knowledge of the Babysitters Club to enjoy this show. I was hooked just about right away by this new series shown by me watching the first three episodes back to back. I really like how they set up each episode with one girl as the main focus (just like in the books) where she takes over the voice-over narration. Great representation and made modern to fit in with our current times. The first example that comes to mind is when Mary Ann babysits Bailey who is transgender. I liked how Bailey says those are her old clothes while they’re playing. It’s shown in a way that explains the situation without feeling like a lecture. It fits so naturally into the episode. And then Mary Ann’s speech at the hospital is super powerful for both Bailey and herself. This is just one example of how well represented this show is. Extremely strong cast and actresses who are the proper ages. I also love the adult casting and how they threw in a Clueless reference from Alicia Sliverstone (who plays Kristy’s Mom). As someone who is writing for this age group, I really liked hearing and seeing how authentic this show is.

FEEL THE BEAT

A Netflix original movie that has been on my list for a while that I just got around to watching. It didn’t come out too long ago. In the film, Sofia Carson’s character is a dancer who is a perfectionist. She gets on the bad side of a big NYC producer when she not only leaves her in the rain as she steals her taxi, but also knocks her, accidentally, off stage and becomes a viral video-this basically blackmails her in Broadway. This all happens within about the first 10 minutes of the film and the majority takes place back in her small home town (very Hallmark-like) in Wisconsin. While there her old dancing teacher wants her to share her Broadway wisdom with her young students. Meanwhile Carson has only been a chorus girl, so she doesn’t really have any. What draws her to helping the young girls is the chance to perform in front of a big choreographer that could get her to be the star she always dreamed of. The catch is that it’s the teacher dance in the childrens dance competition. While this might sound like a movie you’ve watched many times before, it was still worth it and a really fun watch. I think the kids really make the movie. They are adorable, funny and super talented. You feel connected with them really fast and want to see them succeed. I loved Dickie and how he joined the group. I think he was my favorite overall. I loved how inclusive the cast was here too (just like BSC) from a mixed race family, to single parents and even a student who was Deaf. It was great seeing the other actors sign to her. Carson’s character, April, can be annoying at times, but you understand it’s her character and something she needs to overcome. As I said before the plot may seem familiar, but the ending was something I didn’t see coming. Overall, wholesome, feel good and fun for the whole family. You can consider to watch while babysitting. (See what I did there??)

VIOLETTA SEASON 2

She’s back! I know last month when I included Violetta it was mainly me being excited to see the second season FINALLY streaming on Disney Plus. I had watched a few episodes (remember there’s 80 altogether, so even if I watched 20 that’s still very early on and just a dent in the season) and was still getting used to this season. Well, now I’m happy to report I am in the 40s and more than half way. For a bit I was watching many of these episodes a day, which told me that I was loving it again. Recently, I feel I need a little more of a push to watch, but it’s mainly because of certain story-lines that feel like they’re dragging. (For example: Violetta’s voice. One minute it’s fine and the next she’s like dying). For this section I have two words: LOVE TRIANGLES. And I’m not just talking about Violetta, Diego and Leon. For a bit it felt like each character had their own love triangle, which honestly I was loving. These characters have definitely developed a lot from last season, which allows this to happen. Olga was in a love triangle, which just recently got resolved. I think German is still in one because of his alter ego Jeremias. Jackie was “kind of” in one. For her it was more of a misunderstanding, which is very classic on this show. Lots more secrets have been uncovered in these episodes as well as songs! You know how excited I am for those. Overall, I think I’m still enjoying season 1 songs more (which get referenced enough in this season), but some of the season 2 ones are really growing on me. Specifically Leon’s Entre dos mundos and when he sings with Diego Euphoria in English. Also, Yo Soy Asi has been real catchy. I know Frederico will be coming back soon and I can’t wait to see him again!

HAMILTON

Like many I watched Hamilton this month-actually on the day it came out. It’s been a musical that I’ve been intrigued by, but never thought I’d get a chance to watch because of how popular and expensive it is to see on Broadway. So, I was very excited to hear I’d get the chance when it was to be released in theaters for a special event. Then because of Corona it was released to Disney Plus, which was EVEN more convenient and exciting. I really enjoyed it and watched it twice within the same week. I immediately downloaded the playlist and started singing it around the house. I do this a lot with many of the plays I see, but depending how good they are is shown by how long I listen to the soundtrack. (Some of my top ones are Bandstand, Once, Newsies and Anastasia.) Because there are so many songs in Hamilton it is taking me a little longer to know all the words, but I feel pretty confident with the first act. It was the perfect timing for this to be released on Disney Plus. Not only because it was July 3rd, but also because of the world we are living in. Lin’s diverse cast brings to life the world of 1776 and the revolutionary war (as well as the time after it), but it’s such a strong commentary on our world today. This is something I am continually noticing with historical dramas/pieces being released within the last 5-10 years. It feels like there’s more we can say in this genre than in a commentary piece. I also like all the analysis videos I’ve seen popping up, which just make it even more powerful. (Like it being Eliza’s story and her putting herself back in the narrative. That the play Hamilton is named for both her and Alexander.) I don’t know if all of what I see were intentional, but either way well done. I hope it doesn’t leave Disney Plus soon.

1917

And lastly, 1917. I promised quite the range this month and you can see that’s definitely the case. I always enjoy watching war films and with 1917 there was so much hype (both before it came out and after) that I was interested to give it a watch. Giving the movie to my dad for father’s day felt like the perfect excuse to be able to watch it. Even though our DVD stuck in a few places (still don’t know if it was the player or the DVD itself), the film was very entertaining and I would suggest it to anyone who is a history/film buff. Taking place in WWI, we follow two British soldiers as they attempt to deliver a message about an upcoming ambush that could take countless lives. I feel that I often watch more films revolving around WWII, so it was very interesting to be immersed in the first great war. After watching I am not surprised that the film was up for so many Oscars. While cinematography is the first thing everyone discusses when it comes to this movie (and it should be because the one shot/long shot is sooo impressive and beautiful to watch. It really brings you into the scene and has a way of making you feel like you’re there too. There’s a realness to it that’s raw and new compared to other war films I’ve watched in the past), there’s so much more to this film too. First, I like how it connects back to Sam Mendes’ grandfather, so while it’s not a true story it has real facts in it. I LOVE the score and music to this film. In the scene where George Mackay runs at night through those ruined buildings I could really hear how well the music worked with the action. Because of this I made sure to listen to some of the soundtrack and now I’ve added some of the songs into my writing playlist. I have chills just thinking about it. The other point I want to bring up is the cast! While there are SO MANY big names in this film from Colin Firth to Benedict Cumberbatch, the two main characters are played by George Mackay and Dean Charles Chapman and they are the ones with the most screen time. If their chemistry and acting wasn’t so great then the movie wouldn’t be as successful as it is. Because of this I have been watching non-stop YouTube interviews of the two of them for this film.

They are so well-spoken, stand-up guys and I can’t get enough of their dialogues with each other and others. (You should watch these interviews too). While familiar with Chapman’s time on Game of Thrones, I haven’t seen him in much else, so I’m excited to see what he’ll have in the future (as well as checking out his IMDB page). For Mckay, I’ve seen him before when I just watched Ophelia earlier this summer so that was my first time watching him act. After that film I was curious what else he was in, but it was only after 1917 that I started doing more research. So far, I’ve only been able to watch the short film he was in called Infinite. While only 17 minutes it was very strong and deep. I highly recommend. As I’ve shared on this page already, in another post, the more I hear him talk the more of a crush I am developing. It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced a celebrity crush this strong so soon. This quarantine has to end so I can make it to England to just casually bump into him like one does. :)

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living-dead-parker · 5 years ago

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Movies and Karaoke - p.p

Summary: Science squad has another fun sleepover full of movies and karaoke.

Warnings: cussing, underage drinking, killer klowns from outer space spoilers (but that movie came out in the 80s so.......that’s on you lmao), some emo shit at some point.

Word Count: 2.9k (i wanted to make her a big one bc i love science squad prompts ngl so plz send more ideas. Anything really)

Did I go back and watch KKFOS from beginning to end just to add all my important commentary I actually made while watching the movie? You bet your sweet ass I did. Do I regret it? Only slightly! Civil War through FFH never happened but Morgan exists and so does the science squad bc no one can stop me from disregarding canon!!

"It's my turn to pick the first movie!" Shuri yells at Harley and ripping the control out of his hand, causing the kid to nearly scream. The girl casts a playful glare towards Harley, making the kid damn near shit himself on the spot. From the corner, Ned giggles, watching the whole thing go down. However, when the door swings open, Ned's head snaps in that direction.

"Shuri," MJ's soft voice calls out, soft yet firm with a tint of humor. She's seen entering the room with blankets and pillows in her arms. "Bring it down, you're scaring the boy."

Shuri drops the remote control onto the coffee table in front of her. The princess leans back on the large couch, pouting as she crosses her arms over her chest. It is supposed to be her turn. It was Ned's last time, to now it's her turn. But whatever. Instead, she just stares at the black screen in front of her, contemplating her life up until this point. However, not too long after, they hear the door to the in-home theater swinging open, revealing you and Peter with snacks and drinks in your hands.

Shuri and Harley's eyes widen as they look at all the snacks. Bags of skittles, six boxes of pizzas, boxes and boxes of cookies, packs of juice and some water, and lots of other things among that. However, their eyes drift over to the two twelve-pack boxes of hard lemonade that Peter holds in his hands. A gift from uncle Rhodey because he knows how teens can be and he'd rather you do it among trusted friends at home than getting it off some stranger on the streets. Plus, he trusts you and MJ to be responsible about it while still having fun. Plus, it's like four per kid, so it's not gonna do much to any of you.

"Alright, Shuri," you call out as you and Peter begin setting things up. MJ begins setting up the blankets and pillows as well.

You'd invited your friends over for a sleepover, one of the many you have over the course of the year. You'd all settled for a movie night, not wanting to go out anywhere really. The last time you'd had a sleepover, Ned picked the first movie and it would rotate from there. The sleepover usually lasts all weekend, from Friday evening to Sunday evening. Enough time to wreak havoc on everybody at the tower and have the time of your lives. It's Friday night and you're ready for a long night of movies and messing around. It made the most sense to use the in-home theater that your father had installed into the tower; it's spacious, it has the best screen with surround sound which makes movies, karaoke, and video games so much more enjoyable. It's all and all, extremely fun.

As you finish setting up the snacks, you see Harley moving to the back of the room to tone down the lights as Shuri turns on the screen, revealing the home screen for Killer Klowns From Outer Space. You all turn to look at her, casting playful glares in her direction. The only one who did not was Peter.

"Absolutely not," Harley calls out first. He shakes his head, sounding completely unenthralled. You giggle, nodding along. "This movie is so bad!" he exclaims.

"I kind of wanna watch it," Peter cuts in. You all turn to him now, giving him the glare. "I've never seen it-"

"You," you cut him off, taking a step closer to him. "Of all people, have not seen Killer Klowns? Mr. I'm constantly watching movies from the 80s, has not seen Killer Klowns?"

"I've been meaning to," Peter defends himself, looking over at everyone else. They're all still glaring at him, though it's all playful. "I see it everywhere, but I just never get to it, ya know?"

With that, you all sit down, ultimately agreeing to watch it. Harley shoots up in his spot once again, running to turn off the lights completely. When he sits back down, Shuri presses play and the movie begins. It starts off and everybody seems to sing along to the theme song at the beginning. Arguably one of the most wasted songs ever, because it's so good for such a bad movie. But who cares, ya know? However, the movie reaches the point where they introduce the two teenage characters in the makeout area.

"Why would people actively choose to go to a place like that to makeout in groups?" Peter asks. "Like, hey I'm gonna take my girlfriend out to this isolated place where there are already like ten other couple making out or having sex in this exact spot already?"

"Some people are just voyeurs," MJ cuts in, shrugging lights before wrapping an arm around Shuri. Peter hums in response. "Plus that doesn't happen much nowadays."

Suddenly, an ice cream truck drives into the area where all the teens are making out, and over the com, one of the drivers says;

"We'll give you the stick, you give it a lick, and it'll tickle you all the way down,"

Peter chuckles and without thinking it through he says; "That's what I say to Y/N w-"

"Peter!"

His eyes go wide as you all yell at him. You lightly smack his arm, moving away from him slightly as he giggles about it. They all glare at him again before turning back to the movie. After that, not many comments are made until the two main teen characters discover the tent where the clowns are. As the guy pressures the girl to go into the tent, you speak up.

"I've said this before and I'll say it again," you start, hearing Peter chuckle as he wraps his arms around you again. "If Deb was a lesbian or was with a girl, at least, she would not be there and she would be safe."

"Explain." quips Harley.

"Boys are dumb and if Deb was with a girl, the other girl would agree and they'd run away rather than run to the tent," you respond. Shuri and MJ nod, giving you the lesbian seal of approval for that opinion.

"What if it was me asking you to go in with me?" Peter asks.

"Well, I'd maybe consider it, but that's because I have my dad's tech to save me and I'd have Spider-Man with me, so we could easily fight these clowns off. They don't want this smoke," you explain. "However, if it was pre-bite you, then no, I would leave you on your own and run away if you wanted to go in."

"Fair enough."

With that, the discussions stop for a while. Until the scene where the clowns are loose in the city and going door to door killing people. When they ring the doorbell at the first door to reveal a blonde woman in a slip dress with a glass in her hand, pretending to deliver her some pizza.

"Pizza?" she asks. Peter turns to look at you, confusion in his eyes.

"Are-are they going to-"

"Clap her cheeks?" you all respond at the same time, noticing how it can look like the start to a bad porn video. Except, it's a horror movie instead. When they zap her, Peter almost gasps. Was he expecting it to happen? "My take is that if they just did clap her cheeks, they'd realize that they don't need to kill people and they just need some coochie or something. Plus she was cute, so if I was one of them I would have done it, but there's a reason why they're clowns."

Once more, the commentary became little to none until another wild scene much later in the movie. At this point, Dave the cop and Mike -Debbie's boyfriend- are in a playhouse looking for Debbie. The two guys that walked in with them and got lost inside a ball pit, one meant to be a jacuzzi or hot tub of some sort. As the camera pans out, it reveals two clowns, and when the camera turns to face them, it reveals that they're female clowns. As the camera pans out on them once more, it shows their clown boobs inflating.

"Holy shit," Peter screams, causing everyone to laugh. "Screw anime girl tiddies," he continues, making MJ and Ned snort, meanwhile Shuri spits out her drink. "Clown girl tiddies are where it's at!"

You lightly smack his arm, glaring at him once more. Though the room is dark, you can see him lightly blushing in embarrassment. Eventually, the movie comes to an end and Harley is quick to turn the lights on. Suddenly, over the speakers in the room, you hear Harley speaking up.

"Hey guys, welcome to my show," he speaks into the karaoke mic. When he plugged it in, you're not sure, but the suddenness of it made it funnier. Harley steps in front of everyone and looks over at all of you. "So I'm no comedian but for tonight I am," he continues, earning a fake chuckle from Ned. What a supportive boyfriend. "So, we watched Killer Klowns From Outer Space, right? Well, you know who the real clowns were?"

"Who?" you all ask.

"Us, for even watching it in the first place."

That got a genuine laugh out of all of you. Even Peter was laughing genuinely at the joke, mostly since he's the biggest clown of all for wanting to watch it. Harley bows after his jokes land. He sets the mic down as MJ stands and walks over to the mic. She picks up the mic and looks over at everyone.

"Peter and Harley," she calls out. The two perk up, waiting for something else. "That's it, that's the joke."

"Hey, we should do karaoke before we pick the next movie!" Ned exclaims, his eyes wide with hopeful excitement. You all look at him, not being able to deny him his karaoke. Plus, you love karaoke. It's his thing, not many people can say no to him. He's the charmer of the group, often convincing people to get his way. You are the mom friend in terms of getting them out of certain situations and funding all the craziness as well as physically taking care of them. MJ is the intimidating mom friend, though she uses her intimidation on other people to get everyone out of a different kind of trouble. Shuri is the intimidating and hectic person who tends to get you all into some kind of trouble, but she knows how to cover it up, so there's always some close run-ins. She's the group clown. Peter and Harley are equally the punching bags of the group and they are also the bigger trouble makers. However, they're also the practical geniuses who can make anything out of a paper clip under intense pressure. However, Peter is the brawn while Harley is just not afraid of Tony, so he just barges in and does what he want to get out of trouble. All in all, no one can really say no to Ned.

"Alright, let's do this, you're up first bud," you tell Ned. He excitedly jumps up and stands up in the front as you turn the screen back on. You exit the movie and open up a karaoke program you'd bought that allowed for all sorts of high-quality music. You pull out a notebook from a cabinet in the room with a pen as well. At the top, you write the word 'queue' and make a list. "Come tell me your songs so I can start up a queue."

Everyone walks over to you one by one, telling you their songs and you just write them down. At the end of it, you have a queue of about twenty songs. So with that, you type in the first song that Ned chose. Africa by Toto.

You lean forward in your seat, grabbing one of the hard lemonades. No one seemed to grab any up until you did. Everyone grabbed one, as the song began. As Ned sings, you continue making the queue of songs until they've all been put in and you can sit back and watch. After Ned finishes singing, Peter jumps up and takes the mic. His song begins to play, making everyone laugh.

"Gotta take a little time," he begins, faking a raspy voice. He moves around the room, humming and singing along until the song reaches its chorus. He kneels in front of you, hand reaching out for you. His eyes are screwed shut and everyone's phones are recording you two. "I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me!"

You playfully push him and he lands on his back. Everyone laughs, stopping their recordings to post them somewhere. You giggle when Peter stands back up, moving over to Ned and deciding to sing to him instead. Once his song ends, Shuri jumps up and takes over the mic. The song begins, revealing Africa by Toto.

"I hear the drums echoing," Shuri sings, exaggerating her accent this time. She dances around, singing the whole song in an exaggerated accent. When she finished her song, MJ jumps up and takes over. Total Eclipse of the Heart. Except, every 'turn around' was replaces with 'suck my dick' and the phrase 'total eclipse of the heart' was replaced with 'total eclipse of the fart'. Not something you expected, but it had to be the best performance so far. Harley was the next to jump up and take over.

"I made it through the world a mess," he sings in a high-pitched voice. He sings the whole song to Ned and eventually, he reaches Ned, deciding to sit on his lap. "Like a virgin," he sings "touched for the very first time!" he practically moans rather than sings this time. This continues for the whole song, with Harley singing rather provocatively and dancing in a similar manner on Ned. At one point, Harley even threw himself onto Ned from behind the couch, he claims it was on purpose but everyone knew it was an accident. Once more, as Harley's song ended, you took over.

"We're gonna get a little emo here," you explain. The song begins after a short pause. They all look at you with big smiles. However, to add to the feel, you attach the karaoke mic to its stand and you tilt the stand over, standing over it dramatically like every rock star tends to do. You lean into the mic and begin. "Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine."

They all join in on singing with you. The loudness of it all attracts some newcomers into the room. You don't notice it until Wanda, Bucky, Steve, Sam, Natasha, Pepper, and your dad are all in the room, watching you headbang and scream to the song. The other five all jump up, turning on the other mic and sharing it as they sing along.

"It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss!" you all scream. You all jump around in unison throughout the whole song, none of you noticed how all the adults seem to have their phones out recording as well. "Open up my eager eyes, cuz I'm Mr. Brightside!"

When the song comes to an end, you're all giggling and laughing as you hand the mic back to Ned. Before you can all process all the heroes in the room, Ned's song is starting up now. It was weird how every other song after seemed to be emo as well.

"Check yes Juliet, are you with me?" he sings along once the song begins. You're the next to jump up and join him. "Run baby run, don't ever look back!" you sing to each other.

Song after song, you all joined along and sang and danced together. However, once the karaoke stuff was over, and all the adults had left the room, another movie was being put on. It seemed almost unanimous, and the movie selected was the Nightmare Before Christmas. Everyone was tired now, so you all cuddled up on the couches. On the bigger couch in the back lies Ned with Harley nestled into his side. On the front right couch lies Shuri with her head on one side, Michelle with her head on the other side. On the front left couch, you lie up against the back of the couch as big spoon while Peter lies down next to you as little spoon.

Halfway through the movie, Tony follows a sleepy Morgan into the theater room. The little girl remains unaware of her father following in her footsteps. Tony felt her stir in bed and so he decided to check what the hell that was all about. He's about to ask her what she's doing but he stops himself when he sees all the sleeping teens. He watches the small girl scan the room, perking up when she sees you and Peter on one of the big couches. Tony watches as Morgan shakes her big sister's arm until you wake up. He watches you groggily pick the girl up, scooting closer to the back of the large couch, and squeezing her in. He notices Peter shift around before resting his arm over the two girls. He smiles rather fondly and has FRIDAY take a picture of the room, making sure to add a reminder to send the pictures to everyone in the morning.

Send in asks, requests, and feedback!!

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elizadoolittlethings · 6 years ago

Text

https://www.room207press.com/2018/01/we-dont-go-back-76-league-of-gentlemen.html

Friday, 19 January 2018

We Don't Go Back #76: The League of Gentlemen (1999-2017)

When

The League of Gentlemen

was first broadcast, I didn't own a TV, and by the time I owned one, I was living with my Beloved, who didn't have any interest in seeing it. Nonetheless, I could tell you a not insignificant amount about the major characters, and reel off catchphrases. I could tell you what it was like. People cared about it. Partly this was because several of my friends adored it, and it entered the referential lexicon of our conversation. But partly it seemed to be present, part of the furniture of our pop culture.

For example, I remember that at the time the university LGB society (the T or the Q were not yet added, which is related to a point I'll pick up later) used pictures of prominent gay and lesbian people on posters for an anti-homophobia campaign and one of them was Mark Gatiss, and I recognised him as the chap from

The League of Gentlemen

. It's fair to say that

The League of Gentlemen

fell firmly into the category of things I'd never seen but which I could take part in a conversation about without getting completely lost.

I never got round to watching

The League of Gentlemen

But now this project is Serious Business, there are some things I can't really get away with leaving out. So I committed myself to watching it. A good friend expressed concern that it might be too late for me to do that. I sort of half understood what he was getting at, but only really got what he was about having worked through it.

The usual caveats about how writing about comedy are the antithesis of funny apply here, by the way (I still think my funniest article was the one about

Planet of the Apes

, but I digress).

Honest town signs.

The League of Gentlemen

are Reese Shearsmith, Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton and Jeremy Dyson. All four of them write; Gatiss, Pemberton and Shearsmith appear in front of the camera and divide the vast majority of characters, men and women, between them.

It's set in and around the fictional village of Royston Vasey ("You'll never leave!"), in the North of England, where everyone is a grotesque. It's sort of but not entirely sketch comedy.

Some characters appear in most of the episodes: Pauline (Pemberton), who runs a job start course, loves pens and despises the unemployed; Mike (Pemberton), Barry (Gatiss) and their spectacularly messed up mate Geoff (Shearsmith); disappointed musician Les McQueen (Gatiss); Mr Chinnery the vet (Gatiss again), who kills every animal he touches; Hilary Briss the butcher (also Gatiss) who puts something terrible and evil in his delicious sausages; and perhaps the most iconic characters in the show, Edward and Tubbs (Shearsmith and Pemberton), a pair of debased, depraved yokels who run a Local Shop for Local People and who visit unspeakable fates on anyone who comes who isn't Local.

What's all this SHOUTING?

But unlike many sketch shows, the recurring characters' stories progress from episode to episode. So for example, the fate of innocent Benjamin (Shearsmith) at the hands of his finicky aunt Val (Gatiss) and monstrous uncle Harvey (Pemberton) develops and escalates as he realises he might never be able to leave, and begins to formulate a plan of escape. Pauline finds her nemesis in one of her course attendees. Mr Briss's Special Stuff creates an epidemic of nosebleeds.

Many characters appear in no more than a handful of episodes at most, and become the focus of the episodes they're in. The Legz Akimbo theatre company (slogan: "put yourself in a child!") come to visit the local school but their internal tensions destroy the group. A guide leads a party of tourists through the Royston Vasey caves, while replaying a terrible tragedy for which he blames himself. A farmer keeps a man who slept with his wife as a scarecrow in his field. Kenny Harris (Gatiss), owner of the Dog Cinema, engages in a cutthroat business struggle with a rival who's more into cat films.

And then there's Papa Lazarou.

HELLO, DAVE!

Papa Lazarou (Shearsmith) is the single most nightmarish creation of the League of Gentlemen, and along with Tubbs and Edward, is most representative of the show's folk horror elements. He's the owner of the Pandemonium Carnival, which comes to town early in series 2. Papa Lazarou is a nightmare in human form, his scabrous face caked in black-and-white minstrel makeup. He forces his way into people's houses, insisting on calling them "Dave", and intimidating them through an almost supernatural power of domination into giving him their wedding ring, wherein he spirits them away as his slaves, with the phrase, "You're my wife now."

He is genuinely terrifying, and I wonder how that first episode he's in would play if it didn't have a laugh track (only the first two seasons have laugh tracks). And of course he's one of the two places where people most take offence at

The League of Gentlemen.

The most usual objection to Papa Lazarou is that he's in minstrel blackface. But while minstrel makeup is a blot on our culture, it is, it's obvious from the way that Papa Lazarou is framed is that he's supposed to be horrific because he's precisely the sort of person who wears blackface and always wears it.

In his second appearance (the final episode of series 3) there's an insane visual gag revolving around him disguising himself as relatively normal by painting a pale skin tone

over

his blackface makeup, which I found hilarious. But it's also a bit of a problem for a lot of viewers, evidently, because I've read at least two pieces online that interpret the scene as meaning that he's naturally minstrel-toned, which is... Well, I don't know. I'm starting to doubt my own reading a bit, but part of Papa Lazarou's grotesquerie is that you can see how the black and white paint is caked on his face in closeup, and I'm sort of inclined to go with my original reading, partly because it's much less hard to swallow, and mostly because it's a lot funnier.

The League of Gentlemen

is part of a tradition of British comedy and horror alike that deals with grotesque figres: in a show with Geoff, Mr Briss, Pauline, Harvey and, oh God, Edward and Tubbs, Papa Lazarou is just one more of a parade of freaks and monsters. And he is scary, really scary. The episode where Papa Lazarou and his Pandemonium Carnival comes to town (season 2, episode 1) is the point where I moved from a state of "that bit was pretty good" ambivalence to understanding why people consider

The League of Gentlemen

to be an undisputed classic of British TV comedy. Whatever the framing of Papa Lazarou and his freakshow (and notwithstanding the arguments about whether anyone should be making gags about blackface at all, the politics of freakshows is a subject I am simply not equipped to get into), that whole episode is a delirious comic horror and I have seen little to match it.

I can't go to Dorothy Perkins.

The other point where

The League of Gentlemen

gets some flak is in the figure of Babs the transgender cabbie. And the joke with Babs is partly that she's butch and hairy, so that she looks like a bloke in drag (specifically that she resembles the other women characters on the show, only more so), and partly that she's excessively forthcoming about the mechanical details of her transition with her clients. It's complicated by the fact that most of the people of Royston Vasey like her and are supportive of her. No one on the show is ever an open bigot about Babs. She's never deadnamed, for instance. And she's essentially one of the most sympathetic characters in the show. But nonetheless she embodies most of the most enduring transphobic stereotypes, simply by being so grotesque (so much so that we never see her face).

And back in 1999, as I mentioned in passing, we still talked about LGB issues and a lot of us hadn't added the T yet. And it's not as if trans people hadn't been there all along, but trans rights are in the general sphere of discourse now in a way that in the UK they weren't in the 90s. And this doesn't mean that a character like Babs isn't a problem, it means that many of the people who might be aware of the problem now weren't then because it hadn't been pointed out to them. And that isn't an excuse either. It's like all the history that comes back, unresolved, to haunt us.

You could tell that it haunted

The League of Gentlemen

: in the special episodes that aired over the 2017 Christmas season, she's back. She has to be, really: in a lot of ways, Babs acts like a Greek chorus for the unfolding story. So here she is, opening proceedings as ever. Barbara has transitioned successfully now, and she even says that trans people should not be "a source of cheap laughs" just for being who they are, and given that Barbara is a character who has always been framed as having her heart in the right place, as someone you're supposed to sympathise with, it's pretty clear that this is what Dyson, Gatiss, Pemberton and Shearsmith actually think.

But for her to even appear, and it's more or less obligatory that she does, she still has to supply a joke. So now, no longer an Ugly Trans Person, Barbara is an Excessively Touchy Trans Person who seizes on innocuous statements and takes offence to comic effect.

I wonder if Papa Lazarou and Barbara are problems like this because of the way

The League of Gentlemen

engages with its inspirations.

The League of Gentlemen

owes a great deal to classic British TV and cinema of the 60s and 70s, but crucially it engages with that source material in a way that enriches the show. It's instructive here to compare it with

Dr Terrible's House of Horrible

, which is roughly contemporary and which, unlike

The League of Gentlemen

, has not entered the annals of classic comedy. They both get their inspiration from similar places, in fact in several cases the same places – I mentioned

The League of Gentlemen

's odd relationship with sketch comedy, and it's sort of fair to say that it's sketch comedy in the way that an Amicus anthology horror is sketch horror. But where

Dr Horrible

depended on your being familiar with the source material, at least to some extent, to get the gag,

The League of Gentlemen

tells a collection of stories that don't depend on any foreknowledge at all. It's not a parody, and it's not entirely an homage either, although it has parodic elements and homage is threaded through the whole thing.

Rather, it's a comedy that focusses on the absurdity of evil and the equal absurdity of despair and that uses the grammar of classic British horror to tell those stories.

A Beast.

For example, a narrative thread in the fourth episode has workers on a proposed road digging up an inexplicable creature. Mr Chinnery comes to examine it, and proves as incompetent as ever. And while the scene carries a bunch of signifiers that come from Nigel Kneale, echoing

Quatermass

and

Beasts

in particular, and multiplied by the simple fact that Mr Chinnery looks and acts like Tristan Farnham (Peter Davison's character in

All Creatures Great and Small

), the joke doesn't depend on that. It depends on a moment of uncanny horror punctured when the vet's incompetence is revealed once more.

For the joke to land, you don't have to have seen

Baby

Quatermass and the Pit

, and while the whole scene is richer if you imagine Tristan Farnham in a Nigel Kneale script, that's not the joke. No, for the joke to land, you just need to have seen Mr Chinnery in action enough for you to be waiting for the moment when he fails catastrophically.

And throughout

The League of Gentlemen

, this texture is present. Royston Vasey is a vaguely comical, Northern-sounding name. But it is also the real name of legendarily foul-mouthed comedian Roy "Chubby" Brown, who himself appears later in the series as the town's mayor. And the joke with the mayor is that he's got a swearing problem, and that's a simple enough joke that you don't need to know who Roy "Chubby" Brown is, or that he's guesting as mayor of a town named after him to get it. That other stuff helps, but it isn't essential.

But the problem with the way that

The League of Gentlemen

mines classic horror and comedy is that sometimes it homages the things that perhaps should be left behind, so you get characters like Babs and Papa Lazarou, who are both beautifully played and well-written comic characters, but who reference stuff that is difficult to justify beyond nostalgia.

The League of Gentlemen

is important as the first sign of the folk horror renaissance that we've had in the last few years. Rather than saying "look at all these ropey old films! Aren't they terrible?"

The League of Gentlemen

embraces them, but crucially makes new things. It's a comedy, but it's also a horror: Edward and Tubbs reference any number of pagan village conspiracies. "We didn't burn him!" blurts Tubbs to the Scottish policeman who comes looking for poor missing Martin, but not before Edward tells Tubbs that she "did it beautifully." You don't have to know that they're quoting

The Wicker Man

to think they're funny and scary.

There's nothing for

you

here.

The members of

The League of Gentlemen

have taken active part in the rise of folk horror as a recognised genre. Jeremy Dyson scripted the recent film

Ghost Stories.

Shearsmith of course starred in

A Field in England

, and with Pemberton continues to make

Inside No. 9

, an anthology show that combines comedy and drama, and which has had at least a couple of folk horror episodes. The most notable of these is

The Trial of Elizabeth Gadge

, where Pemberton and Shearsmith play 17th century witch hunters. Just like

The League of Gentlemen

The Trial of Elizabeth Gadge

isn't a spoof or a parody, it's a black comedy that stands on its own merits, even while it draws inspiration from other sources.

And Reese Shearsmith took part in Folk Horror Revival's 2016 event at the British Museum, hearing about which is how I realised that there was a name for the things I liked.

Mark Gatiss is the man who might be credited for extending the name "folk horror" to a genre (Piers Haggard being the first to apply it consciously to his own film). In his 2010 series

History of Horror

, Gatiss popularised the idea of the Unholy Trinity, and talked at length about

Blood on Satan's Claw

, which probably did more to bring about the critical reassessment of that film than anything else. Gatiss also wrote

Crooked House

, which aired on the BBC in 2008, and the 2013 adaptation of

The Tractate Middoth.

Together with Shearsmith, Gatiss has remade

Blood on Satan's Claw

as an audio drama (released January 2018).

You could argue pretty persuasively that without

The League of Gentlemen

, there might not have been a rebirth of interest in folk horror at all. Without them, it would still be an accidental genre. A local genre, for local people.

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Howard Ingham

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takealottodragmeawayfromreddie · 7 years ago

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The Reddie Horror Show

Aka. The high school IT au featuring Richie being a musical nerd and dragging all of his classmates with him that nobody asked for.

—In high school, Richie realized that he liked both boys and girls and started these jokes of being a stereotypical gay guy (even though he's actually bi).

—He used to watch musicals as an ironic liking and had fun making all the losers watch Grease with him and randomly screaming the lyrics of the most iconic musical numbers.

—But then The Rocky Horror Show appeared, and Richie truly loved it. Like, for real. He fell in love with the story, the characters and the songs.

—He got so obsessed that, everytime Eddie got carried away by angriness towards him (or anything), he would start singing "when Eddie said he didn't like his Teddy you knew that he was no good kid" just to make him angrier.

—Sometimes, the losers club would be waiting for Eddie to get ready outside his house and, when he finally came out, Richie would make his most ridiculous Dr. Scott voice and go "from the day he was born... he was trouble...".

—Everyone would be sick of all his references (specially when he would act like Frank N Furter or use "hot dog" as an insult) if he wasn't good. But the thing is that Richie is awesome at singing and acting and everyone is amazed by it.

—So, when one of their teachers asks the classroom to produce a musical as an important study project, of course Richie will suggest Rocky Horror.

—And, like the diva he has been becoming since he found this new passion and started to get all the cool parts at the drama club, everyone agrees that, no matter what the school may think, Rocky Horror is the best option.

—The auditions starts. Bill's stutter, instead of giving him troubles, makes him the perfect Brad. Beverly originally wants to play Columbia, but she has such a sweet voice that Janet becomes the ideal character for her to portray.

—Mike gets to play Rocky, basically because he is the one in better shape in the whole classroom. And Stan gets the narrator part.

—Our Dr. Frank N Furter is, surprise surprise, the superstar Richie Tozier, who accepts the honour like this is Broadway.

—Eddie and Ben aren't such good actors and singers, though. Actually, they kinda suck. Ben has troubles learning the dance routines and can't hit any note, and Eddie thinks this is stupid, anyway. (He's just so done with Richie making jokes about his name and that character who is called the same).

—So they take the parts of two random extras. They do the Time Warp in the background, sing "that ain't no crime" like it wasn't their only line in the whole thing and, even when Ben is upset because he has to watch Bev singing Dammit Janet with another guy, they try to do their best (failing comically).

—The problem starts when weeks go by and Eddie realizes he really appreciates Richie's efforts. Like, this is no joke for Richie. He actually takes it seriously, practices day and night (even while just hanging out with the losers), works hard to reach those notes and takes all the important creative decissions of the play.

—One day, he gives the classroom a heart-felt discourse about what "Don't dream it, be it" means and everybody just sits there and listen in an understanding silence.

—Then it hits Eddie. He likes Richie. He respects his passion, he admires his talent, he... he's kinda in love. He always has been.

—But this revelation doesn't hits him as much as finding out that it's the worst moment possible for being in love with Richie.

—Because Richie is now Frank N Furter. The dirty transvestite alien who rocks those heels and flirts with every fucking character.

—A horrified Eddie gets to watch the new found love of his life doing sexual disgusting moves, sitting on other people, running his hands all over Mike's chest/arms/legs, getting in a fake-bed with Bev and Bill, walking around in ridiculously sexy outfits and practically making out with EVERYONE but him.

—It gets even worse because, artistic or not, he's still Richie. So he will make jokes on his free time and won't shut up about how good that random girl's kiss was or how Mike carrying him bridal style was one of his personal goals. And, of course, that Bev and Bill thing won't get pass the radar.

—"Like, I know that they're the cutest couple ever and everything, but, man, it was fucking hot. Of course I'd rather be Rocky if Eddie's mother was Janet and she'd make me touch her juicy tits while singing Touch-a, touch-a..."

—"Beep beep, Richie", everyone says, but Eddie says it louder, and that comment about his mother isn't what bothers him the most.

—Ben is so sad about the Brad and Janet thing that he's secretly trying to write his own musical about her. Even if it's not that good and it'll never get done, he really wants to make it like he was Richard O'Brien himself.

—If he wasn't so busy trying to create this thing, he would have overheard one of those million of conversations between Bill and Bev, when they talk about how Brad would rather have the narrator and Janet is kinda starting to see Transylvanian #8 (Ben) with love eyes.

—On Eddie's side, he's getting so angry about everything that he barely wants to speak to Richie. And he knows he has no right to get angry because Richie's not actually his man but that's his man.

—When Richie notices that he's been avoiding him and comfronts him about it, Eddie plays dumb in a very resentful way and Richie, who is kinda stressed because the play is in two weeks, won't take it. So they have a argument that makes Eddie confess his feelings and run away.

—After that scene, Eddie doesn't show at the rehearsals again and teacher gets so mad that she writes him out of the play. (Not that his character had any line, anyway...)

—But the losers are furious. They were supposed to be all together in this. And he even stops hanging out with them. He won't pick up the phone and always success to avoid them.

—The day of the play, Bill gets to talk to him leaving him with no chance of scape. He asks why is he acting so weird and Eddie finally tells the true. He declared his feelings to Richie and he assumed Richie would reject him.

—Bill makes the biggest facepalm of history. Richie likes him back! Stan told him that Richie told him that he was scared because Eddie was so ashamed of liking him that he had run away inmediatly after confessing and that maybe he was disgusted by all the sweet transvestite thing.

—Eddie feels so stupid. He wants to go and tell Richie that he's the most cool guy ever and he loves him. But Bill convices him that the best thing he can do is wait after the play.

—And the play starts. Eddie is sitting there in the front row, ready to watch his future man giving the best performance ever.

—Bill and Bev totally kill it as Brad and Janet at the beggining and the middle and the end.

—Stan is the best telling the story and showing everyone how to do the Time Warp. And Ben isn't that bad either.

—Then our dear Frankie appears. Fabulous is an understatement. He's absolutely amazing. The heels, the clothes, the walk. His voice does things that Eddie didn't even knew that it could and he just takes over the stage.

—You really can feel Mike's Rocky's torment at the "Sword of Damocles" number and there's something about Richie with a corset on teaching a Mike in golden underwear how to apply Charles Atlas' plan that is fucking hilarious.

—Ben's powerful "that ain't no crime" and his screams when Frank kills fake Eddie are amazing, and real Eddie can't help noticing the way Bev lowkey stares at him.

—The bed scenes are annoying, as always, but Eddie just smiles because his crush is such a good actor and he will get the real thing as soon as he solves what he caused.

—Bev and Mike's Touch-a, touch-a, touch me is closer to funny than to sexy.

—The Janet, Dr. Scott, Janet, Brad, Rocky thing is funnier than ever.

—The floor show starts. Mike, Bill and Bev? Stunning as always.

—RKO tower. Richie up there. Omg. Whatever happened to Fay Wray? Eddie can barely breath. He's so in love and Richie is so cool and everything is so perfect.

—Don't dream it, be it. Eddie finally gets the meaning of that. He always had been dreaming about things that he thought he couldn't have, that he didn't deserved. Health, real friends, real love. And now he seems to get it. It's always been there. And while Richie makes out with Mike, Bill and Bev at the same time (wearing women clothes, btw), Eddie starts to cry because, God, amazing. Best feeling in the World.

—I'm going home. At last, Richie looks to the audience and he seems to see Eddie. He's too focused on his big number, but their eyes meet anyway, for a few, subtle seconds. Eddie wonders if Bill had the chance to tell Richie that the feeling is mutual.

—Frank and Rocky get killed as, with great sound and light effects, the castle flies away into space. The whole room is in complete silence.

—Bill and Bev do an amazing closing number and Stan's acting as the last character who says something as the light fades away is tears worthy. At least that's what Eddie hears the next day.

—He doesn't gets to see it himself because he's too busy getting behind the stage into the changing room, where Richie is sitting, waiting for his last appearence at the very end.

—Richie looks so surprised that is obvious he didn't expected Eddie being there. Not with a bouquet of roses for the play star.

—"Eds, what are you doing here?"

—"Don't call me that, hot dog", he smiles.

—A second later, they both run into each other arms and share a kiss that's even better than any make out scene in the play.

—When all the actors get back to stage for a final bow, everyone is surprised to see Dr. Frank N Furter showing up carrying a boy who abandoned the play with one arm and holding a bouquet with his free hand.

—But he doesn't even care. He just throws kisses all over the place and says thanks and pecks on real life Eddie's lips again and again.

—People is even more surprised when Janet lets go of Brad hand and reaches back to hold Transylvanian #8 arm and bring him to the front of the stage, kissing his cheek and whispering something about winter fire and things that no one gets to understand completely.

—Brad doesn't look too shock. He seems more interested in the narrator, who just smiles and waves at him from the opposite side of the stage.

—Everybody lives happily ever after, until, a few years later, at Eddie's 22th birthday party, Richie sings a weird thing called Dammit Eds and drops the ring more times than what the musical number demands because he's too nervous. Eddie blushes and begs him to stop and gets super angry, but he says yes anyway.

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mikeatthecinema · 7 years ago

Text

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

By Mike Avallone

Undoubtedly one of the top three most fun Marvel movies. “Thor: Ragnarok,” aka “Thor 3″ is just awesome. It’s so much funnier than I expected, and delivered as many laughs as “Deadpool” (2016), maybe more. There was laughter in the theater from the first scene to the last. On top of its hilarity, the action is amazing. Fight scenes dazzle while feeling feel big and impact. Way too many memorable characters to count. I had big expectations for “Thor: Ragnarok” and it delivered.

The story picks up where we left in the MCU, but for anyone hasn’t seen the other films, it still makes sense and is never overly complex. As always, I’ll try not reveal too much in way of the story. Hela (Cate Blanchett), the Goddess of Death, is attempting to seize control of Asgard, which is the home to Thor (Chris Hemsworth), the God of Thunder, his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and their Dad Odin (Anthony Hopkins), the Kind of Asgard, among others. During an early fight, both Thor and Loki fall through a wormhole to the planet Sakaar. Meanwhile, Hela continues to approach Asgard. After Thor lands on Sakaar, he learns the most notable aspect of the planet are the gladiator-like fights which takes place in a HUGE stadium and seemingly attract everyone on the planet. The battles are hosted and run by the Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum). As you can imagine, Thor is set to be in one of these fights against the Grandmaster’s champion. I won’t reveal who his champion is, but if you’ve seen any of the marketing for this movie, you already know. Thor and friends aim to somehow get back to Asgard to prevent its takeover.

As much as I loved Ragnarok, it’s not perfect. I was thoroughly entertained, but upon further reflection I can see it’s faults. As I said, the movie is hilarious, but it’s detrimental at times. Some of the most intense, dramatic and meaningful scenes can be undercut but jokes. It really felt too silly to take it seriously for more than a few moments. Even when characters die, it’s kinda glossed over and they just move on to another joke. You can’t come into this expecting high-stakes action and emotion like in “Captain America: Civil War” (2016). The director, Taika Waititi, really prioritizes jokes over substance, for better or worse. I can see this bothering some people, if you had your heart set on a more serious superhero movie. The other complaint I’m hearing from people was regarding the depiction/treatment of the character Loki. I thought it fit in well with the vibe of the movie, but if you were expecting the Loki from “Thor” (2011) or “The Avengers” (2012), he is not that.

Taika Waititi has directed some great overlooked comedies from recent years, the most memorable for me was “Hunt for the Wilderpeople” (2016). He creates movies with a lot of loose improvised humor and banter. I didn’t expect that going in, but after thinking about it, it makes sense that the guy who’s only made comedies would do that with “Thor: Ragnarok.” After reading into it more, my suspicions were confirmed, while speaking to MTV News, Taika Waititi said 80 percent of Thor: Ragnarok was improvised. Not every joke was a gut buster, but a few had the whole theater roaring. As I said before, the comedy is the priority of the movie, and that worked for me.

The other thing that really stuck out to me were the characters. They’re all so well defined, unique and memorable. There wasn’t one actor who stole the show, because, honestly everyone was great in it. There’s great chemistry among the cast and they all play off each other really well. One of my personal favorite characters, was Korg (Taika Waititi), another gladiator Thor befriends. Portrayed by the director himself, he has some of the funniest lines in the film, and I hope to see more of him.

Ragnarok came into theaters with the most hype of any movie this year (so far), and according to the box office, it’s delivering, at least financially. It wasn’t the type of movie I was expecting, but unlike “The Foreigner” (2017), I was totally okay with this. Looking back at the first “Thor” (2011), my favorite part was the comedy. Chris Hemsworth is actually really funny in the role, and doesn’t get enough respect for his comedy, probably because that’s not what people associate with this giant of a man. My opinion, and the general consensus, is this is the best Thor movie. It’s so much fun, there’s not much to look for here in terms of a deeper message, but I was having so much fun I didn’t care. I can’t say this in the same league as “Logan” (2017) or “Spider-Man: Homecoming” (2017), but it’s on par with “Wonder Woman” (2017) and better than “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2″ (2017). Still, one of the best movies in the MCU and just a lot of fun.

82/100

#film #movie #Film Review #movie review #thor #thor ragnarok #marvel #comic books #2017 #mike

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amtushinfosolutionspage · 7 years ago

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DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid’s number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it’s fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won’t be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter’s @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It’s September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn’t have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he’s 45. Sure, he’s lost more than a few steps, to the point where he’d have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year’s 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that’s all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren’t exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He’s Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let’s get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren’t many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you’re over 40 and you’ve won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody’s signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here’s how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn’t have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who’ll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That’s the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That’s right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year’s standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it’s the next night, and it’s not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let’s face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr’s one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little “Where’s Jagr?” graphic, in which he’s wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don’t act like you’re not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It’s college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA ’93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week’s obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada’s Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

While his production dipped after that, he remained an NHL regular for a few years; the Sabres traded him to the Sharks for Wayne Presley in 1992. He also had a quick run with the Flyers, but he was out of the NHL by 1993, and out of pro hockey altogether by 1995. All told, Snuggerud played 265 NHL games and scored 30 goals. His legacy includes some solid hockey hair and one of the most enjoyable names in recent league history.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks’ system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

The Doan Effect ( noun): The unwritten but nearly universal rule among hockey fans and media which holds that a player who spends all (or almost all) of his career with one franchise seems to get far more love than players with similar resumes who played for several teams.

This concept isn’t new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn’t follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn’t get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That’s the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don’t. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren’t getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don’t think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. From a fan’s perspective, a player’s legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There’s something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It’s a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they’ll be retiring Eric Lindros’s No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Hall of Fame induction and number retirement are two of the highest honors any athlete can achieve, but they pale in comparison to the very top of the mountain: appearing on an early 90s episode of The Arsenio Hall Show. Luckily for Lindros, he did that, too.

youtube

It’s sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He’s also just been named one of People Magazine’s most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he’s going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL’s marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with “Vandross,” and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he’d planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

We start off with a typical Arsenio question, in which he gets really serious while leaning forward and tenting his fingers. Arsenio Hall was more engaged and attentive on every throwaway question he ever asked a guest than I was exchanging my wedding vows. Dude was the best.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis’s other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn’t someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, “I really don’t know.” I think I might have figured out why hockey players don’t get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can’t decide which I want to own more, Lindros’s shirt or Arsenio’s jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

“They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?” asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can’t yet measure up to, including a mention of “Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way” as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley’s stick measurement? How many of Canada’s other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can’t compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That’s the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros’s first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying “skin to win.” I’m so disappointed that he didn’t stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, “I want to strangle Bobby Clarke.”

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros’s dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they’re big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

Hall starts wrapping things up, at which point Lindros finally says something interesting when he mentions falling down the stairs at school during an awkward growth spurt. Hey, that sounds like a story. We can build on this. Take us home, Eric!

“And uh, I don’t know what happened.”

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall’s staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you’d like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall syndicated from http://ift.tt/2ug2Ns6

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years ago

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

The third star: The Vegas Golden Knights jersey numbers. First of all, they gave No. 97 to David Clarkson. Yes, Connor McDavid's number. To David Clarkson. Who is, I think it's fair to say, not all that Connor McDavid-ish.

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Yes, he's 45. Sure, he's lost more than a few steps, to the point where he'd have a hard time beating the Zamboni around the ice these days. And yes, last year's 46 points made for the least productive full season of his career. In a league that's all about speed and youth, plodding old guys aren't exactly in high demand.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

So be it resolved: The NHL must immediately institute the Jaromir Jagr Rule. If you're over 40 and you've won multiple scoring titles and you still want to compete and nobody's signing you, you get to play for everyone.

Yes, everyone. Here's how it works: We give Jagr two more weeks to sign a real NHL contract—no PTOs or two-way deals or any of that nonsense. Somebody commits to the guy, or else we take matters into our own hands.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

If Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a deal by September 15, he plays for everyone. Every team in the league gets to use Jagr for one home game and one away game. That adds up to 62 games, which sounds about right for a 45-year-old who'll need some rest here and there.

But who gets him for which games? That's the fun part. Gather round your TV, kids, because Saturday, September 15, is the Jaromir Jagr draft. That's right—every team in the league, in reverse order of last year's standings, gets to pick the games it has Jagr in the lineup.

The Golden Knights probably use the first overall pick on their home opener. The Avs could, too—it's the next night, and it's not too far a flight. The better teams might want to save him for crucial games later in the season, especially against the elite teams. OK, let's face it, especially against the Penguins.

Be honest: If the NHL held that draft, you would watch that so hard your eyeballs would explode. And then imagine the season playing out. Jagr's one home game as a Penguin. His return to New York. The Capitals using him for the outdoor game so that he can also be the oldest guy on the alumni team. The home-and-home between the Bruins and the Habs where he plays for both teams. Best of all, the NHL website with a little "Where's Jagr?" graphic, in which he's wearing glasses and a red-and-white striped shirt.

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

It's college free agent season, with players like Will Butcher sparking the annual debate over whether NCAA players should have different rights than their CHL counterparts. This has been a long-running issue for the NHL, dating back to the 1980s when bidding wars over players like Adam Oates led to the institution of the short-lived supplemental draft. While it only ran from 1986 to 1994, the supplemental draft did produce a handful of legitimate NHL stars, including John Cullen, Steve Rucchin, and NHLPA '93 legend Shawn Chambers. It also produced this week's obscure player: Dave Snuggerud.

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

This concept isn't new, but with Shane Doan retiring this week after a 21-season career with the Coyotes/Jets, it seems like a good time to give it a name. Doan was a perfectly fine player. He scored 400 goals, could be a physical force, and was a respected leader. He played in two All-Star games. He was good.

But if you didn't follow hockey and were just going by the reaction to his retirement this week, you might think you were witnessing the end of a legendary career. This is a guy who never finished in the top ten in voting for any major award, or in the top five for postseason All-Star winger honors. He didn't get a single Hart Trophy vote in his two-decade career.

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

And yet, his retirement feels like a really big deal. That's the Doan Effect kicking in. Players who are closely identified with one team just seem to get a big boost to all their legacy sliders that players who bounce around the league don't. It helps explain why Adam Oates and Mark Recchi had to wait years to get into the Hall of Fame, while Mike Modano was a never-in-doubt sure thing. Jeremy Roenick (five teams), Pierre Turgeon (six), and Bernie Nichols (six) aren't getting in, but Daniel Alfredsson will. I don't think the Doan Effect is unique to the NHL—it seems to crop up in other sports—but its impact seems especially strong in hockey.

To be clear, I'm not sure that's a bad thing. From a fan's perspective, a player's legacy has to be more than the sum of his stats and award votes. There's something to be said for the connection that develops between a player and a fan base over a long career, and if that bleeds over into the wider perception of a career then that seems fair. It's a reasonable approach to take.

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

The Philadelphia Flyers announced this week that they'll be retiring Eric Lindros's No. 88 this season, because I told them to. The news comes a year after Lindros finally got his call from the Hockey Hall of Fame.

youtube

It's sometime in the spring of 1993, and a teenaged Lindros has recently finished scoring 41 goals in 61 games as a rookie with the Flyers. He's also just been named one of People Magazine's most beautiful people. Life is good.

Now he's going to appear on The Arsenio Hall Show, which was pretty much the height of coolness back then. Seriously, forget the infamous Sports Illustrated cover a year later—getting a rookie on Arsenio was basically the NHL's marketing peak.

Arsenio introduces Lindros while making his name rhyme with "Vandross," and Eric heads out to say hello. Word is he'd planned to charge out wearing a tasseled denim vest, sprint through the crowd, and flip the couch, but somebody else got there first, so he went with the standard handshake.

Hall mentions having several hockey fans on his staff, including cameraman John Gillis. According to his IMDB page, Gillis's other credits include Hollywood Squares, My Two Dads, and Solid Gold, just in case you were worried that there wasn't someone out there having a way cooler life than you.

Hall goes with a thought-provoking question about starting a roster from scratch and the nature of team-building, at which point Lindros responds, "I really don't know." I think I might have figured out why hockey players don't get invited on many talk shows, you guys.

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

"They say you have no weakness. What do you think your weakness is?" asks Hall. Lindros ponders the questions, gets a few words into his answer, then falls over injured and goes on the LTIR for three months.

Actually, Lindros lists a few players who he can't yet measure up to, including a mention of "Wayne Gretzky, who took the Kings all the way" as the crowd cheers. Wait. Do… do Americans think the Kings won the Stanley Cup in 1993? Did you get an alternate version of the series where they cut off the feed right before McSorley's stick measurement? How many of Canada's other dozen Stanley Cups since 1993 have they not told you guys about?

Lindros ends up mentioning four players he can't compare to: first ballot Hall-of-Famer Brett Hull, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Wayne Gretzky, first ballot Hall-of-Famer Paul Coffey, and… Keith Acton. Huh. That's the most out of place any pro athlete has ever been in a group of four since Mongo McMichael joined the Horsemen.

We transition into the story of Lindros's first time on skates, and then into a vaguely weird discussion of him playing barefoot that ends with him saying "skin to win." I'm so disappointed that he didn't stick with that as his catchphrase. It sounds so much better than his eventual choice, "I want to strangle Bobby Clarke."

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

Lindros drops a mention of Chatham, Ontario, at which point half the audience cheers like they have any idea where that is. Apparently, they're big on Ferguson Jenkins, Robertson Davies books, and Hawaiian pizza.

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

junker-town · 8 years ago

Text

Happy 10th birthday to ‘Here comes the pizza’

Or, “The unwritten rules of throwing a slice of pizza at someone four seats away.”

When one enters “Here comes the” into Google, autocomplete suggests a lot of things. Here comes the sun. Here comes the airplane. Here comes the boom. Here comes the Lion Guard.

When you enter “Here comes the” into Google, though, your internet history gets sucked into the algorithm, and “Here comes the pizza” is the first result.

Congratulations. You’re in a special club. It’s not that special, of course. There are 1.5 million views on YouTube, and only half of them can be yours. But it’s special enough, and we should have a secret handshake.

If you’re not in the club yet, oh, oh my, come in, this is your lucky day. “Here comes the pizza” is 10 years old this weekend, and it’s time to celebrate it all over again.

youtube

I’d like to think at MLB Advanced Media, a nervous staffer came up to his boss with a list of illicit YouTube videos that needed DMCA takedowns.

“Aaron hitting 715?”

“Take it down.”

“Mike Trout scaling the wall? Looks like there’s a whole playlist.”

“Take them all down.”

“Here comes the pizza?”

“T ... no. No, that one stays.”

There’s a difference between dumb baseball highlights that get people excited about baseball and something that belongs to the world. In honor of the “Here comes the pizza” birthday, I would like to list my favorite things about it.

1. That somebody threw a piece of pizza at somebody else

My favorite part of this video is when someone consciously decided to wing a piece of pizza at someone four seats away. One second there’s an innocuous foul ball drifting into the stands, no different from the dozens of foul balls in every game, and the next second there’s a soggy ninja star sailing through the air, too floppy to be aerodynamic, too ambitious to be earthbound.

The time elapsed from Garret Anderson not making the play to the decision to throw the pizza: 1.62 seconds. I almost want to give it extra credit for its immediacy, but that would be false. There was a beat. That’s enough time to make a conscious decision.

I have done a lot of dumb things without thinking. Scrambled to catch a chef’s knife that was knocked off the counter. Pulled out into traffic when I shouldn’t have. Taken a sip of coffee that was way too hot. But these aren’t things that I deliberated on. I didn’t think, “I am going to see if I can whip my hand around to catch this knife when I drop it. For science.”

This was someone who thought about it and decided, yes, this is what needs to happen right now. This is the appropriate response. And here comes the pizza.

What if the line at the pizza concession was too long? What if the perpetrator was in the mood for something different? Could this have been even funnier? Let’s quickly explore some possibilities:

Hot dog — not as funny, unless the wiener separates from the bun like the booster separating from a space shuttle, hitting two people in one throw

Nachos — close, but there’s too much anarchy, too many victims to make it a guilt-free laugh riot

Cracker Jack — not as funny

Popcorn — not as funny

Large 32 oz. beverage — okay, maybe that’s as funny

But throwing bottles is a thing. It’s a trope, something that you would see in a movie. There isn’t a lot of distance between throwing a bottle and throwing a plastic cup.

No one throws a piece of pizza. And if I had to put my finger on it, my favorite part of “Here comes the pizza” is when the guy throws the piece of pizza.

The giggling

Oh, goodness. The giggling.

Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo need a replay to see what happened, and their first reaction was about what it should have been: Wait, did someone throw a slice of pizza at that guy?

But they come back from the commercial break giggling. This would have been a non-event with at least half the announcing crews in the league, with someone with a very announcer-y voice mentioning the incident once — “Looks like someone threw a slice of pizza. Not sure why he would do that, and I’m sure he’s going to be asked to leave.” — and then dropping it.

Remy and Orsillo studied the incident between innings and couldn’t get enough. They are, like us, transfixed. Transfixed and giggling. The giggling becomes contagious, like it does in the best unexpected moments of comedy. You’re infected by their enthusiasm because it’s impossible not to be.

“Here comes the pizza”

Without these four words, there’s less giggling. With less giggling, there’s less majesty. With less majesty, this is a clip that gets forgotten after a season, at best.

Instead, Jerry Remy describes it with perfect timing and rhythm:

“Now I’m not sure why it was necessary, but watch ... I can’t circle because I don’t have my telestrator butHERECOMESTHEPIZZA, see?”

His immediacy mirrors the unexpectedness of the pizza being thrown. For his part, Don Orsillo shares the only possible response:

“[unable to catch breath] eereeess um pizza”

He is all of us.

Remy would later zapruder the film even further, adding the inner monologue of the perpetrator:

“Honey, I’m going to the ballgame today, and if I see some guy, I’m going to throw a piece of pizzerr at him.”

It makes more sense when he explains it like that. That’s what announcers are supposed to do, after all. They’re supposed to provide insight.

There was almost a pizza brawl

Fights in the stands aren’t funny, and people can get seriously hurt. Do not fight people at baseball games.

But if there has to be a fight, let it be over someone throwing a piece of pizza at you, which makes you the Pepsi Fan of the Game.

The guy didn’t notice that he had a piece of pizza thrown at him in the chaos. Now imagine the conversation afterward.

Hey, that guy threw a piece of pizza at you.

That’s a special kind of violation, an assault made worse by the unexpectedness. We’re used to the pizza being thrown by now, but imagine that moment, when he heard it for the first time. Imagine different scenarios.

Hey, that guy picked up your keys and put them in his mouth.

Or ...

Hey, that guy took a Polaroid of you and ate it, piece by piece.

It’s the randomness that makes it more invasive. This isn’t someone shouting a curse word at you. This is much, much worse.

And there was almost a pizza brawl because of it.

This was frontier justice

Years later, the pizza thrower explained his side of the story.

youtube

He’s more sheepish than you imagine someone capable of an impromptu pizza assault would be, and he explains the events succinctly:

“This gentleman was not being too friendly to everybody else in the stands. And there was a rain delay, so we were there for a long, long time, and a lot of people weren’t so happy with what he had to say. There was a foul ball that distracted him, and I threw a pizza at his head, and I wish I could take it back, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

This is just the word of one man, the accused. It shouldn’t be held up as gospel.

But I believe him. Oh, my, how I believe him. I can see the whole thing in my mind. This guy is guilty:

Guilty, guilty, guilty. Throughout the whole rain delay, this guy was getting drunker and more obnoxious. He is the amalgam of every Boston stereotype, a mix of every person in the Yankees Fan GIF, just tailored for a different region.

What was he doing during that rain delay? It doesn’t matter. You can imagine it.

GUY: EH, YEAH, FUCKIN CHARLES SHOULD BE HERE, CAUSE HE’D REALLY APPRECIATE THESE SEATS, NOT LIKE THESE FAT ASSHOLES BEHIND ME

FAN BEHIND HIM: hey wait

GUY: EH, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, PORKY. LOOK AT THIS GUY PUTTING THE TAHP ON, HEY YOU SUCK GROUNDSKEEPER, TERRIBLE TAHP TECHNIQUE.

For an hour before the rain delay. During the hour-long delay. And up until the moment when Garret Anderson knocks his beer away. A constant stream of obnoxious.

It’s not enough to spill the beer, though. There needs to be frontier justice.

And here comes the pizza.

Has it been 10 years already? It’s hard to believe. But we’ll be back here in 20, 25, and 50 years to relive one of the greatest moments in booth-absurdity synergy in the televised era. Because it deserves nothing less, and possibly so much more. There went the pizza. And there went our hearts.

Happy birthday, old friend. Happy birthday to, “Here comes the pizza.”

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years ago

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

youtube

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years ago

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

youtube

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years ago

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

youtube

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years ago

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

youtube

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years ago

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

youtube

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes

flauntpage · 7 years ago

Text

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall

Three Stars of Comedy

So that was weird. But then they made up for it with some solid trolling:

This will get even funnier when Sidney Crosby scores 12 points in his first game in Las Vegas and Gronk-spikes the puck after every one.

The second star: This photo. Speaking of Rob Gronkowski, he is now best friends with Tuukka Rask, and this may be my new favorite sports photo of all time.

The first star: The Senators logo without eyebrows. Why yes, it's exactly what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to un-see it.

(Original image created by Twitter's @Gerv_Rebrand, who should be in jail.)

Be It Resolved

It's September, and Jaromir Jagr still doesn't have a home for the 2017-18 season. This is unacceptable.

Counterpoint: He's Jaromir Freaking Jagr. Let's get this done.

At this point, it seems possible that nobody will sign him, or that he may be reduced to signing a PTO (professional tryout) like some scrub. Hockey fans around the world are slowly coming to terms with the fact that there just aren't many good outcomes left for this story. Maybe Jagr gives up and retires, or he heads back to Europe. Maybe he sits around for half a season waiting for an injury. Or maybe he latches on somewhere as an unwanted fourth-liner, and the whole thing takes on a sad Jerry-Rice-as-a-Seahawk vibe.

There is a better way.

[Spongebob Squarepants Meme Joke.] Photo by Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

Look, I may have thought about this too much, but don't act like you're not on board. Make this happen, NHL. Your millions of fans, and one very old man with a mullet, are demanding it.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Snuggerud was a hard-working winger who made his name at the University of Minnesota and spent time with the American national team in 1988. That stint included an appearance at the Winter Olympics, where he scored three goals for Team USA, as well as a rare international fight against Canada's Trent Yawney. The Sabres had taken him with the second pick in the 1987 supplemental draft, and he made the team out of training camp in 1989. He scored 14 goals and earned a handful of votes in both the Calder and Selke races his rookie season, which would end up being the best of his career.

After his playing days ended, Snuggerud went into teaching and coaching. His nephew Luc is currently a prospect in the Blackhawks' system.

New Entries for the Hockey Dictionary

Shane, your legacy will live on. Photo by Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

But it does need a name. And now it has one. Thanks, Shane.

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

youtube

I can't decide which I want to own more, Lindros's shirt or Arsenio's jacket. I think the answer is both, and that I want to wear them at the same time. I could pull that off, right?

We move on to topics like teeth and Philadelphia, and you can start to sense Arsenio desperately trying to pull an insightful answer out of this kid. He succeeds somewhat with a question about fighting. Then he mentions talking to Lindros's dad before the show, which is clearly a lie because Lindros is still here and not holding out for a spot on Chevy Chase.

"And uh, I don't know what happened."

Epilogue: All of the hockey fans on Hall's staff were fired three seconds after this episode ended.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at [email protected] .

DGB Grab Bag: Jagr Draft Proposal, Doan Effect, and Lindros on Arsenio Hall published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

0 notes