#girl the reason why hes so desperate to use chaos control and stop time before you both disappear is because

[chisungie]

.

[whataboutsimple]

A friend to save.

Jessica gets chipped. It's bad. Everything goes wrong and right.

Relationships: platonic!Lukesse, possible romantic!Jetra

︎ Ivor could've sworn that at this rate, his heart would jump out of his chest on its own and leave this place, away from the chaos. No, nuh-uh, he's definitely not going to get out of this mess on his own, not without help.

︎ As he had noted earlier, those chips, as well as any other redstone mechanism, reacted badly to water when zombies reached it, they simply came off their carriers. It's probably the reason why Harper built those waterfalls here. So.. now he just had to make a choice: save Petra or Lukas. Jesse on the other hand.. Unfortunately, Jesse was out of the water's reach, if not that, the Potion Master would've saved her instead.

︎ «It's all based on redstone, and an extra brains wouldn't hurt..» — Ivor thought as he pushed Lukas through one of the waterfalls. Out of the corner of his eye he saw two chipped girls taking Harper with them..

—

︎ Jesse took two ender pearls left from the battle with Cassie Rose from her inventory.

︎ «Excellent, Jesse! Now we just need to throw them in the right spot!» — Ivor said, throwing the ender pearl into the canoyn in front of them.

︎ After not so successful landing, he turned his head, expecting to see Jesse beside him.

︎ There was no one there.

︎ Panic and shock gripped the Potion Master as he looked up in horror and realised that Jesse had been captured. She has been caught. She's being chipped.

︎ «Don't just stand there! Move!» — shouted Harper, waiting for the dark haired man to follow her.

—

︎ «It can't be.. Is it true? I can't believe..» — Lukas shook his head in shock, still feeling a little dizzy — «What are we going to do now? Without Jesse? She's.. To be honest, she was always the reason we got out of trouble so easily, but now..»

︎ «Now is definitely not the time for whining. If Jesse won't help us, we'll help her.» — Ivor said with a slight irritation. The whole situation was tugging at something inside of him, something that was very well buried. After all this time he had almost begun to think of the girl as his student, his companion, his.. friend. He had already lost Ellegaard because of his own stupidity and revenge thoughts, he won't make the same mistake twice — «Come on, use your blonde head. Harper said to give this rose to "Harry", whoever he is. Let's find him as fast as possible.»

︎ Lukas' sky-blue eyes always said everything about his future intentions, and now they shone with a determination never seen before. He'd left the Ocelots behind, but he wasn't going to leave Jesse.

—

︎ Her head was full of lead. She could have sworn it was full of lead. So much noise, so much information at once, so many other people's voices. Seeing PAMA from the outside was one thing, but being inside was quite another.

︎ If Jesse only had control of her own mouth, she would've described PAMA in no other way than as a single organism, each part of which wants to be separated from it. The chipped people won't stop muttering, Jesse could hear their thoughts, could see silhouettes out of the corner of her eye, could almost feel them all around her, too close.

︎ But at the same time she saw nothing, felt nothing, heard nothing. No darkness, no emptiness, no silence, just nothing.

︎ The sounds around her were either too loud or nothing at all. From time to time she could hear Petra calling her. Damn it, Jesse would give anything right now not to be alone in this hell, but to be with Petra, with Lucas, even with Ivor. But at the same time she also hoped desperately that they had escaped, that they had escaped from here, even if it meant leaving her behind. Friends always come first.

︎ The last thing Jesse remembered was Ivor's landing. Had he managed to escape? Had Harper found him? The girl wanted to believe so.

︎ The effect of PAMA on the brain was the most disgusting thing in the world. Jesse almost physically felt this evil machine digging into her memories, touching the most intimate thoughts that belonged to her.

Other than people, memories sometimes appeared before her eyes. It was hard to tell if they were hers or someone else's, but they were definitely someone's memories.

︎ Ivor must help them.

—

︎ Petra tore Redstone Heart out of it's place with unprecedented fury, ignoring the words of chipped Jesse.

︎ Somewhere behind her she heard the last "NOOOooo..", but she didn't give a single heck, she had a friend to save.

︎ «Jesse!» — the girl cried, throwing Redstone Heart down and grabbing her friend's waist, preventing her from falling — «Jesse, come on, you're strong..» — with a hint of pain in her voice, the red-haired girl whispered, picking up the brunette in wedding style and descending from the platform of the main mechanism.

Having successfully landed on her feet, the redhead gently lowered Jesse, resting girl's head on her knees — «Come on girl, wake up, I know you're alive, no way some stupid computer could beat you.» — she whispered in a trembling voice, lightly slapping her friend's cheeks in order to wake her up.

︎ «Petra! Jesse!» — Lukas shouted from above, catching his friend eyes — «I'm coming down!»

︎ With trembling hands, Petra lifted her friend a bit and put her ear to her chest. One second. Two. Three. A beat.

︎ «She's alive.. she's alive!» — the redhead cried in relief, quickly wiping away the tears that had gathered moments before — «Lukas! Tell Ivor to get his ass over here with the potions! Jesse is badly injured!»

︎ The blonde man, who was almost down, suddenly turned his head towards the girls, then looked up.

︎ «I can hear you from here! Wait for me downstairs and don't you dare move her until I'll check her out!» — Potion Master shouted from above as Harper led him to a safer way to get to them.

︎ Petra turned her head back to her friend, hearing Lukas' footsteps behind her — «It's going to be all right, girl, you won't get rid of us that easily..» — she murmured.

[littleyukki5033]

STRAIGHT UP SOBBING- LIKE I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU TO SAY SO MUCH ABOUT IT. I laughed alot in what you said and oh my goodness-you analyze so much, I literally was waving my hands around when you noticed some important things.

THANK YOU!!! I was extremely worried people would dislike my AU and especially Yukki since she an OC u know? But your words help alot (I'm happy your interested in her and her story. Her backstory actually sad tbh 😞)

I will answer your questions!!! Because it's fun! I'll try not to reveal too much of course

Information about Yukki:

Yukki was actually portaled above the hole in mt.ebott, she has extreme adrenaline so she forced herself up and she actually did go through the ruins and once she pass the gate, she made it to snowdin and just clasp due to blood loss. The reason she had so much adrenaline was because of what was happening before she was portaled. She was unconscious the entire time when taken to Asgore. She woke up tired up and Asgore getting ready to kill her (she was weak due to injuries)

Yukki is from another Universe which was revealed when her and Frisk were talking since Frisk was so shock to even see another human. Yukki actually has magic but she doesn't know how to control it. She can do small things. (She does learn how to use it better during the next arc after the underground)

I really had to revamp her because..like I said I made her middle school and she was a 💖Mary Sue💖. I will say her magic is Chaos magic. So for example, think of like Discord and Scarlet Witch. I gave her power a name which is 'Ultima Disorder'.

Yukki at first did have bad feelings towards monsters because once she was fully healed, the Royal gaurds always attack her. Especially Papyrus and Undyne. She was also 100% suspicious when Sans offered her to stay with them and Papyrus just...stopped attacking her but she was desperate and had no where to go...and she didn't know if she had a home to go to anymore (hint to her backstory)

Her feelings do change because her relationship with Sans and of course Sans towards Yukki which makes Papyrus annoyed by how close there getting.

Yukki is 24 years old, same age as Sans.

Information on Toriel:

I have to say, Toriel is honestly a sad depressed mother in my AU. Toriel left Yukki behind a waterfall because she didn't want Yukki getting captured again plus she knew Yukki wouldn't be able to run due to her injuries so she didn't want to risk it.

For the Soul of Kindness, it was pure coincidence because Toriel just snatch whatever was closest, as long it prevented Asgore plan.

Toriel does meet Yukki again since the final battle. Toriel does end up crying in seeing Yukki alive and well.

When Toriel met Frisk, she literally look afraid and actually try to make Frisk afraid of her but it didn't work. Actually, Toriel believed Yukki was dead since a whole year last during that whole event with Her and Yukki escape so she didn't know so she didn't bring up Yukki to Frisk which explains why Frisk was shook in seeing Yukki lol

Information on Asgore:

Asgore is..uh..he is very unhinged in my AU which is the whole point for 'Sacred'. Asgore and Toriel relationship is very toxic and he often gaslight her when it came before Frisk and Yukki falling which I'll talk about later.

Asgore was very PISSED when Toriel stole a soul but he needs the last soul so yeah no killing plus a part of him deep down loves Tori, the obsession with the soul is just greater than his love.

Information on Sans and Papyrus:

Sans does actually have the jokes at the gate! He did find out it was her due to the fact she asks about a certain human girl (Yukki). Sans didn't tell anyone though.

Sans and Papyrus do Falter when it comes to Yukki presence. Especially Sans, since he spends the most time with her which was revealed in the small story when Sans was questioning in why she wasn't dead yet and he just couldn't kill her. Papyrus is just stubborn, he has his duty but deep down he does care for Yukki. He just defies that feeling.

Information on Soul Protectors:

They do gain benefits when it comes to the souls which I actually listed out on my master doc for the story but those perks are revealed when Frisk gets the souls and gets those benefits.

Okay so like-if you look closely through out all my drawings, you'll see those 4 lines around the souls on each Royal Guard bandana. Those are actually magic capsules that W.D Gaster made. It basically a more fancy looking container unlike the container in Undertale looked like.

SacredFell Containers are filled with magic and can be embedded into well anything as long the soul stays in that container (I should make a design sheet tbh...lol). Undyne actually thought about consuming on but her loyalty won over that thought.

SF BARRIER IS DIFFERENT!!!!!. So for SacredFell, the war has 7 leaders. The 7 leaders were mages and of course locked them down there. 7 souls are required to break the barrier including a monster soul.

Whole reason Yukki couldn't do it with her magic is because the 7 makes magic straight conflicted with Yukkis and she got electrocuted....yeah she did attempt to break it....

Information on the key and heart locket:

My mouth dropped when you ask this question LOL. Goooosh, so like, the key on Sans is actually the key to unlock Yukki heart locket. Yeah them two dummies start dating. There actually married and have kids in like...future from this story timeline.

Information on Mettaton and Alphys and Muffet:

It wad Alphys idea to make Mettaton a decoy and yes he is famous! He sings and dances and everything! Alphys in my AU is extremely brave and yes she very sly. She acts like she extremely weak around Frisk with rude remarks but that's just part of her plan.

Mettaton and Muffet battles are actually fun..well in my head. It well..different than Undertale. For Mettaton, it basically like singing/dancing battle like..imagine like a Rythem game but undertale style lol. Muffet battle is actually with music and dancing gracefully. Muffet talks about how since Frisk loves spiders, she needs help in her bakery and it becomes a battle.

"Catch the desserts and serve the right costumer!" And if Frisk misses a dessert or serves the wrong order Muffet will attack and Frisk needs to dodge like in the Game. When Frisk wins Muffet does talk to Frisk.

Yes you fight Alphys regardless in pacifest or genocide. Alphys battle...woman uses machinery so um..Frisk run. Advance technology. (I was planning on doing full drawings if the battles since the webcomic in all so one day it get there!)

That's it!

I hope that answers majority of your questions! ALSO YOU CAN LIKE AND QUESTION ALL U WANT BTW, YOUR NOT BOMBBARING ME. I love answering questions! It just so fun!

Honestly, your response made me extremely happy and I'm glad your interested in my au! 🥺🥺🥺🙏 thank you so much for giving your opinion!

(Sorry for any typos lol)

I wanna have opinions so uh, what do you think of my SacredFell AU? (So far anyway haha)

Hello, my mutual compadre, @littleyukki5033 , I have traveled down to the depths of your blog and will now commence judgment.

Kehehehe. ψ(｀∇´)ψ

[Gonna be long, I like/wanted to try making my responses worthwhile and attentive, to show you I went in on your AU and posts.]

(And you can laugh at me or with me on this, but I may not be the best at giving opinions, 😖 I think. Just know I'm typing this with my miniscule overthinkin’ brain and hurt wrist.)

START!

Feb 4: Don’t be afraid to post your AU and talk about it, beautiful or not, unique or not, complicated or not, similar or not, cringe or not, demented or not, eh or not. 

Share your mind, you’ll find people who share it with you. And if you get hate, show them San’s ass or something. It tells others how nonexistent they are to you. (though I’ve seen someone draw Sans very beautifully thicc, we will keep in mind he is bones, which we indeed simp for). 

Observe Exhibit A:

(I found this silly image saved on my desktop, so I thought it'd be cool to share it with you.)

So never let a negative comment change your love and view of your au and undertale. 

Undertale is amazing, it’s good to ramble, even if others don’t talk about it, even if you’ll never get reciprocated. There’s other people there reading it, like me sometimes I read and forget to heart, or I don’t heart a post because I don’t wanna bombard their notifications and all that. 

Yes, post your art, even if you’ve got no idea what to post, doodle, ask for ideas, or even take a break. I think it’s beautiful to share your mind’s eye. Show no fear, you’ve got this!

Everyone starts where you were once. 

Feb 12: Your Introduction of your own Underfell AU called SacredFell

I am interested. I am in fact one of many who are and will be interested for days to come, for as long as you build and love your AU, as it becomes whatever completion you dreamt of it to be, so on and so forth, even if one day you stop.

I’m finna be there bruh, late or on time.  

And imma let you know that right now as you reading this. You actually asked me first about your AU and lemme tell you, you beat me to it. I actually have fanart for you. AND was gonna find a time to ask you first.

(~(>_<。)＼ Usually I'm ready to send art cause I plan before hand, but someone used a wrist twist move on me for fun recently. ಥ_ಥ)

Anyway, moving forward.

Frisk and Chara of SacredFell: I enjoy teh designs. And me personally, I like Frisks design, the fact Frisk went through multiple design phases is nice to know. Would you ever show Frisk's previous designs?

Oof, you changed SacredFell Sans height from 5’2 to 6ft, damn what a stretch. And he part of the Royal Guard, whoa! 😆hotsome big skeleman.

Also, I love the art style of @/melikitinas, too. 💖

Feb 14: … ScaredFell Papyrus…. I-... 11ft height, yeah, we gonna need a height chart. I short, so they a fucking tree at this point, imagine Paps just bending at the waist towards a shorty like me, he’s gotta be prone on the ground or something. AND his fine ass a 2nd in Command Royal Guard, too. ○( ＾皿＾)っ AWWHEHESJDHWU ✨

Feb 21: LORE Ah, so the beginning is different, interesting. *reads through it with glasses* (I was recently working on my other OCs at the time as well :D.) 

Yukki sounds like a good character! And portaled? Oooooh, portaled, I wanna know backstory! 

Did Yukki not go through the ruins? She just collapsed in Snowdin? Was she unconscious the entire time she was taken to Asgore, up until Toriel saved her?

And usually humans, are strong, is Yukki weak due to something? (you don’t have to reveal too much lore unless you wanna) How much power does Yukki have? Why does it drain so quickly? 

Also, love Toriel, to save one instead of all, what a mother. Even if Yukki wasn’t her own, that was such a big sacrifice for the price of saving one child over freedom. I would love to see how you draw that part out.

And Toriel left Yukki behind the waterfalls, why not take Yukki with her? 

Why out of all the souls, Kindness was taken, would this serve as a significant plot point in the AU?

Would Yukki grow to harbor bad intent or negative emotions towards the monster or would she end up sacrificing herself after understanding the monster’s want for freedom, would she find another way, would she resort to genocide at some point(despite her being weak)? 

Would Toriel come in clutch next time Yukki is in grave danger? 

And what plans would Asgore have after he gets Toriel, I would’ve expected that he wanted Toriel dead, not with a bounty on her head to be returned ALIVE to his home. I'm probably just thinking to the extremes. 😂

I like this plot. I’d love to know how Frisk and Yukki will come together. And if within the one or two years, Yukki stayed with Sans and Papyrus, would the brothers falter when they need to get their jobs done for Asgore when the time comes? Would Sans and Papyrus eventually come to value Yukki as their own friend? Does Yukki know Sans and Papyrus are working to gain her trust to betray her in the end? 

Also is Toriel and Sans doing the knock knock joke through the gate in this AU too? What’s Toriel’s relationship with the characters so far? Within the time Yukki was living in the Underground, does she come to meet Toriel again?

Feb 23: YUKKI I agree Yukki is a main focal point in the beginning of this AU, I really like this. I can’t wait to see how you build this lore up. Would Toriel act again when Frisk comes? Would Toriel talk to Frisk about Yukki? How old is Yukki again? To me, Yukki looks like she has a strong presence, tongue sticking out, seems playful. ✨

Feb 27: Comic Heh. Middle school art is always nostalgic to look back on. I wish I still had some of mine. I threw most out due to the fact, I didn’t want physical evidence of my cringe art tying back to me, but looking back on it now. I was stupid and paranoid. 

Now cringe art is one of my favorite art pieces to discover, it brings a certain emotion outta you, am I right? Yeaahh.  

Anyway, I admire you for sharing your old art and comic. 

An AU, especially when a creator is lovingly dedicated to it, can become hectic and mentally crowded and out of order, or as you say “all over the place.” Good luck on that journey, creating comlex stories is hard! I was overwhelmed by my own ideas and burned out at some point and stopped entirely. You make me wanna go back to my little world.

And Yukki and SacredFell Sans look like they get along noicely. yukki hand on her hip, confidence and power ✨👌 makin' Sansy sweat.

Mar 7: Yay Toriel Character Sheet Me like tall woman. She taller than Sans, haha. I gotta learn how to draw a goat at some point. And she looks good in my opinion. Do SOUL Protectors gain power from the souls? Wouldn't they accidentally at some point absorb the soul? Has any of the protectors even thought of doing that? Doesn't the barrier need one monster soul and one human soul to break the barrier, or is that different in this AU?

Mar 11: Another comic redraw, SacredFell Asgore WIP

Aw SacredFell Sans and Yukki smiling together, your old drawing of them is cute. ANd that’s a jump, good to know they're out of the underground. Hope you eventually find the right design for Yukki, that you’re gonna be satisfied with. I’m excited to find out how they got out of the underground, too.

What's the key on Sans? And the heart necklace on Yukki?

And yes, I think Tumblr does something with the quality of an image when posted, because compared to my computer view, my phone view of some posts are different a bit.

Yass, show off the Goat man. 

ANd I also saw your Avatar DTIYS, looks awesome! I love the coloring, shading, and perspective! 

Mar 15: Update Eh, it didn’t take a while for me to gather info on your AU, it was spread out a little yes, but not so much, for me the pacing was alright. 

Ah and the ask blogs, yeah I dunno how I’m doing this tbh. 

And a webtoon would be great! But I hear it’s a lot of work to put into it, take small steps, so you won’t stress or burn yourself out. But I would definitely read teh webtoon if you were to make one. 

Mar 16: SacredFell Undyne WIP I love Undyne, I just dunno how to draw her yet. Love the art! She pretty. 

Mar 16: SacredFell Flowey Flowey in a bag, hahahahaha. I like how annoyed he looks in the drawing.  

Mar 17: SacredFell Monster Kid Another main character, you developing a lot of lore right now I bet. I wonder how MK will play out in your AU. 

Mar 18,22 : It’s UNDYNE >.< Fangirling. Another Tall strong woman. And missing parents during gaster’s disappearance, is this what I think it is, a lore hint?!?!   

Mar 23: Alphys Alphys is gonna be somewhat of a sly character in the plot huh, wow! And she fights, you gotta make art of that at some point! Alphys having bravery is interesting! 

Pfft, you spelled “Bavery” I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it. 

Mar 23: Gaster I love how you drew Sans and Papyrus in at Gaster’s “You’re in Trouble” expression.

And me like the tinted glasses as well.

Mar 24: Mettaton! He a Bravery SOUL Decoy! Was that Alphy’s idea to make him like that? Is he famous in the underground as well? He’s a looker. And he got four arms! Yuuusss! 

Mar 26?: Muffet Indeed a 5’7 lady spider is a cutie patootie, the arms are good, multiple is betta. Good design!  And she is also part of the Royal Guard, what will the fight be like? I’m curious! 

Mar 26?: That Sacredfell Mini Comic/Story was nicely put together! The end where SacredFell Sans responds with, “I don’t know.” I enjoyed reading this conversation! And Undyne in her royal armor MWUAH!  

So from all this, hopefully I did something good for you, most are just questions and comments, but I hope it served as an answer. *ahem*

A new character was added. [Yukki] = Will lead to more plot. *Check*

There’s a different backstory before the arrival of Frisk. *Check*

Toriel makes an act against Asgore before leaving, Asgore ordering Sans and papyrus to gain Yukki’s trust until the “time” comes = Complicated relationships *Check* 

I can fangirl, which means I can simp, which means, I’m invested. ✨ *CHECK CHECK CHECK*

The concept is really good! (The fact Asgore would entrust the souls to another and make them SOUL Protectors, and you still fight Alphys even in the pacifist route, and I sense "things" though not sure what, but it makes me look forward to your lore.) *ChecK* 

It’s a Fell type Universe. (I love Underfell) *CHECK* 

The art is noice!!!! *CHecK* 

I find interest in how characters will interact or encounter each other. *Check* 

I can see the work put into this AU! I see their dedication based from the dates you posted things about your AU. I really look forward to seeing how you continue to develop and make art for your SacredFell AU! With what you’ve shown at this time, I can happily tell you, for me this AU is interesting, there’s potential in many areas, character development, choice of dialogue, different relationship dynamics, personality, world building, plot changes, etc.

I wish I had more to say, I think most of my response here sounded... I think repetitive, maybe some questions were even answered already and I didn't catch it? Though hopefully I conveyed to you that I think you're doing well for what've you've shown thus far!

That's my grand opinion. 😁✨

Also, I found you through graphictale au. 💕💖👌✨

😙 Both ya'll wonderful.

[aimless-imagines-for-fun]

Thin Walls

Pairing :: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings :: 18+ Content, NSFW/Smut, Masturbation(M&F), Oral(M Reciving)

Word Count :: 2,707

Summary :: The walls in your apartment are thinner than you thought

A/N ::

The first time Bucky heard your light pants and stifled moans through the thin walls of your shared apartment complex, he couldn’t believe his ears. Whenever he saw you, you acted charming and innocent. You were always kind to him when you saw each other in the hallway or on the rare occasions you saw each other outside of your apartments. You had a sweet smile, and a soft voice when you spoke to him, almost shy.

When he heard the soft pants through the wall, he couldn’t help but press his ear against the wall, unsure of what was going on. He thought you were having a nightmare until he heard how you quietly moaned and your breathing picked up. 

Bucky knew listening to you was wrong, but then images of you touching yourself began flashing in his mind. He pictured you laying back on your bed in nothing, your legs spread as your hand-worked effortlessly to please yourself. You had two fingers disappearing in your wet cunt repeatedly as you fingered yourself, curling them to press against a sensitive spot. With the hand that wasn’t in you, you were massaging your breast, pinching and rolling the nipple between your fingers.

“Ngh! Ah!” Your panting grew before finally slowing down.

‘Did she make herself cum?’ Bucky wondered, his dick twitching at the thought.

-

About a week later, Bucky heard the same lewd noises through the wall. Again, he couldn’t help himself and listened to you.

This time, the images that ran through his head were far more invasive. His dick grew hard as he imagined you rubbing your clit slowly, looking at him with pleading eyes. 

“Bucky, please.”

He pulled his ear away but didn’t leave. He leaned his head back against the wall, hand wandered down to his sweats, pulling out his hardening shaft. Slowly, his hand ran up and down his length, your sweet muffled voice coming through the wall and encouraging him to keep going.

From the sounds of you desperately trying not to moan aloud as you masturbated, he could tell you were far needier than last time. ‘Still trying to act innocent?’ 

“Ah!” From your breathing picking up, Bucky was sure you had just made yourself cum. 

His grip around his cock tightened, wondering how your wet cunt would tighten around him when you came.

Your breathing picked up again and you hummed in delight.

“Fuck, you’re a desperate girl aren’t you? Trying to cum twice,” He muttered to himself.

His breathing hitched and cock twitched, swearing that he heard the soft sucking sound of wet messy pussy as you continued to pump quickly.

Once precum started to trickle out, Bucky used his thumb to smear it across the head before stroking back down to his tightening ballsack. His hard dick was growing swollen, eager to cum all due to you. No longer able to contain your pleasure, he finally heard your moans and he could tell you were going to cum again soon.

He started thrusting his hips with each downward stroke, an image of you kneeling before him popping in his mind. Your mouth was open, moans escaping you as you rubbed circles into your clit waiting for him to release on you. 

With the moisture at the tip increasing, he used it to lubricate the rest of his swelling cock so his hand could glide up and down with ease. With his free hand, he lifted his shirt up and bit the fabric in his mouth to leave his abdomen exposed.

“Mmm! Ah!” Bucky heard you take in a deep breath, freezing almost as you came again.

He was now pumping his cock rapidly, hips thrusting as hard as if he was fucking. Finally, his muscles tensed up and his body stiffened, his loud groan only slightly muffled.

His balls contracted and cock twitched with each hot spurt of cum that shot out. Thick cum flew out of his tip, some of it landing on his stomach. Still, he continued to pump, muscles tensing up each time another hot load came out. He continued to pump until thick wet strands covered his hand and cock.

-

About once a week, Bucky heard the soft noises you made while masturbating. If you were having a bad day, he’d hear you more than once a week. If you were especially needy, you’d take anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour rather than the usual five to ten minutes just to relieve yourself.

He grew hard each time he heard you playing with yourself, but he only found himself jerking off on the nights you were needy. When he could hear you playing with your wet cunt after you had already cum.

When Bucky saw you outside of your apartment, he managed to act normal. He still saw you as sweet, even if he knew how dirty you were. He had somehow managed to grow closer to you, starting and engaging in conversations with you when you two saw each other.

“So long story short, that’s why I don’t go near large bodies of water,” You told Bucky as you each approached your apartment complex.

You two had run into each other at the local grocery store, each doing some evening grocery shopping, and were each carrying a good number of bags.

Bucky raised a brow, glancing at you. “Don’t you think that’s a bit… much?”

“Nope.”

Bucky pressed the elevator button, a light appearing and signaling the metal box it was on its way down.

As you two waited, another one of the building’s residents walked up with a large group of friends. They were talking loudly, silencing you and Bucky as you all waited.

Ding. The elevator doors opened, and much to Bucky’s dismay, you all entered creating a cramped space. You and Bucky had been pushed to the back corner since you entered first. Bucky’s back was against the wall, and yours was inches away from his chest.

“What floor?” One of the friends asked after hitting the fifth-floor button for their group.

“Sixth,” Bucky replied.

The button was hit and soon after the doors closed. The ride was silent until some of the friends started to mess around by pushing one another against themselves and the walls.

Accidentally, one of the friends bumped into you, pushing you against Bucky.

They apologized halfheartedly before continuing.

Out of fear of being shoved again, you stayed firm against Bucky, only moving against him when one of the strangers got too close while messing around.

Feeling you wiggle against him, Bucky’s jaw clenched and his grip on his grocery bags tightened, his metal arm almost breaking a jar he had inside. He managed to block out the noise from the rowdy group, his mind playing the sweet noises you made instead.

“Fuck,” He muttered quietly.

You managed to hear him and believing he was upset you were against him, you turned your head up to look at him. “S-sorry,” You said with a slightly flushed face.

Bucky’s eyes widened, cock twitching when he heard your meek voice. Without a word, he turned his head, looking up at the elevator lights instead.

Your moaning continued to fill his head, followed by the images of you he had created. Unable to control himself with your ass rubbing against him, his shaft slowly started to stiffen, creating a tightness in his jeans. Without thinking, he pressed his hips against you, the tightness growing.

Since Bucky was looking away, he couldn’t see your face. You were looking down, biting your lip as you continued to move against him. You felt embarrassed at the fact you were growing wet right now. ‘God, if only these jerks weren’t in here this wouldn’t be happening!’ You cried in your head.

Then, you felt a stiff member press against you. You squeezed your eyes shut, gulping. ‘There was no way he was getting turned on now, right? This is just happening because of the situation we’re in. Yeah, that has to be it. He can’t help it.’

Finally, the elevator doors dinged before opening and the group of friends walked out. Immediately, you walked away from Bucky, straight to the door and waiting for your floor. Bucky let out a deep breath, relaxing once you stepped away.

Neither of you said a word, each walking out in silence when the elevator got to your floor.

“Have a nice night Bucky,” You quietly told him before escaping into your apartment.

“You too…” Bucky mumbled before entering his own.

An hour later, Bucky heard you quietly moaning through the walls. Instantly, his dick grew hard, remembering the feeling of you pressed against him. He pulled his length out, starting to stroke himself to your sweet voice.

“Mm, Bucky!” You moaned.

The man stopped, heart freezing when he heard you. He had never heard you moaned anyone’s name before. This was the first time ever, and it was his name.

You were getting off to him. You were touching yourself, imagining it was him.

“Fuck.”

Bucky shoved his still hard shaft in his pants, leaving the room. All reasoning left him as he walked out of his apartment and went to go knock on your front door.

It took a few moments before the door unlocked and the doorknob turned, revealing you wearing a baggy black shirt and short blue pajama shorts. Your face was slightly flushed, chest rising.

‘She was getting close.’

“Hi Bucky, what’s-”

Before you could finish, Bucky stepped in pressing his lips firmly against yours. Your eyes widened with shock, frozen in your spot. He pulled away, shutting and locking your front door.

He leaned down to kiss you again, but you pressed your hand against his chest, stopping him.

“B-Bucky wait! You can’t just come into my home and start kissing me suddenly!” You tried to reason.

“Why? You don’t want it?”

“Wh-what? No- I mean- I-I do, but,” You were stumbling over your words, mind thrown into chaos as to what was going on.

Then you glanced down at his sweats, clearly seeing the large erection he had. You stopped talking, legs squeezing tight.

Bucky grabbed your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. “You know, doll, these walls are pretty thin. Doesn’t leave a whole lot to the imagination.”

Your face started burning up at the realization from his words. “Y-you mean… You can hear m-me each time I…?”

He leaned down to your face, pressing a kiss against your cheek. He moved his face further to your ear whispering, “Yes.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling your body close to his so you could feel his hard clothed dick press against you. “And each time I listen to you, I get hard imagining what you look like, what you’re doing to yourself to cum.”

You let out a shaky breath, pulling Bucky’s face into a kiss without a second thought.

Instead of being terribly ashamed at the thought of Bucky hearing you, you were extremely aroused.

With ease, he slipped his tongue into your mouth, the two wet muscles rubbing against one another in a rough kiss.

You wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him close. With ease, he grabbed your ass and lifted you up, your legs automatically wrapping around him. 

Impatient, he started moving you against his erection, moaning like he wanted to when you two were in the elevator. You pulled away from the kiss and whimpered into the crook of his neck, the thin fabric of your shorts becoming wet and messy since you didn’t have any underwear on.

“Bucky,” You breathed out, moving your hips along.

“I know Doll, I know how fucking needy you are,” He growled.

Bucky barely managed to put you back on your feet so you could show him to your room. While you were both speedily walking through your apartment, you both shed your clothes, throwing them off onto the floor.

You crawled onto your bed first, looking at him with half-lidded eyes as you laid on your back and spread your legs. Bucky walked up to the edge of your bed, brows raised.

“Do you want me to get ready for you Bucky?” You asked him gently while starting to play with each of your breasts.

‘Fuck, is she going to show me how she gets off?’ Bucky’s hand went down to his aching cock, beginning to stroke it slowly. “I’ve seen it a hundred times in my head, so show me,” He encouraged.

One of your hands went down to the wetness between your legs. Two fingers gently rubbed up and down your wet folds before one pressed into your pussy. You moved it around, slowly, curling it to hit your g-spot only a few times before you entered a second finger. 

Now, your fingers started to pump, picking up the pace, and Bucky’s hand on his cock did the same. You pumped a few times before stopping and curling your fingers to hit and rub your g-spot. Your other hand then moved down, rubbing your clit roughly.

Finally, Bucky heard the dirty noises that left you clearly, instead of muffled through a wall. His tip grew wet with precum and he smeared across his cock so he could stroke faster with ease.

You repeated pumping with your fingers rapidly, then stopping to curl your fingers a few times before pumping again. 

Bucky’s gaze moved from your wet cunt up to your chest, watching your breast move up and down as your breathing picked up. 

You let out a moan, breath hitching as your hands started to lose the fast pace they had.

Bucky was growing close himself, hips thrusting into his tightened grip.

“Bucky!” You moaned out, legs twitching as you came around your fingers.

Watching your juices pour out, he lost it, his tight ballsack finally releasing his hot load. He closed his eyes, head tilting back while he pumped each spurt of cum out.

Each of your breathings had relaxed. Bucky heard you move on your mattress, opening his eyes to glance down and see you now at the edge in front of him. 

You wrapped a hand around his half-limp cock, stroking it while you started to clean off the cum with your tongue.

Again, Bucky found himself hard all thanks to you. He placed his metal hand on the back of your head. Carefully, he gripped a handful of your hair and pushed your mouth further while moving his hips. 

He thrusted his hips into your mouth only a few times before pulling away, a thin strand of saliva falling down your chin. He pulls you up for a kiss, pushing you each down on the bed.

“Tell me how badly you want it (Y/N),” He mumbled into the kiss.

His length slides and down your wet slit, the head teasing your pussy. 

You moan, biting his lip lightly. “I want it so much. Please Bucky, I need your cock filling me up,” You begged.

More than happy with your reply, Bucky begins to press his throbbing length in you, your wetness stretching around him. He pushes all the way in before nearly pulling out and pushing in again, keeping a steady pace.

He starts thrusting harder, his balls now hitting you with each thrust. Your cunt tightens around him, again you wrap your legs around him to bring him closer.

Bucky thrusts into you full speed, each of your breaths hot and heavy once again. You dig your nails into his back, moaning loudly when he lowers his flesh hand to start rubbing your clit. 

“Ngh! Bucky!”

You cum around him and Bucky’s thrust grows harder, his metal hand holding your hip with a tight grip.

When he lets out a deep moan, you feel his cock throb inside of you, feeling his hot release fill you up. Bucky continues thrusting into you, slowly now while you each ride out your climax. 

Pulling out, he lightly slaps his messy dick on your cunt. “You know you’re not going to be getting a lot of rest tonight.”

Your hand went down to stroke his cum covered member again. “I wasn’t hoping not.”

[hotmesshapa]

VIP • Bang Chan

pairing: bang chan x female reader

genre: smut • DJ!chan x stripper!reader

rating: 18+

word count: 4.6k

warnings: strong language, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex, slight jealousy, very light orgasm denial and spanking, a bit of fluff

a/n: this is the first fic I’ve written in literal years and I have no idea what I’m doing, so I’m sorry in advance lol. also shoutout to these lovelies for being interested from the start 🖤 @mikoto-ica-fics @missskzbiased @bratforbin​ @jungkooksbroski​ 

There are three strict rules in the club: no touching the strippers, no romantic work relationships, and absolutely no sex in the club. Your manager had everyone sign off on his rules for a reason; you didn’t even want to imagine the chaos that could ensue if everyone was allowed to do whatever they desired in the club.

However, whenever Chan was DJing on the nights you worked, you always considered blowing off those rules. But you knew better. You both enjoyed your jobs at the club and wouldn’t risk getting fired over something as stupid breaking the few rules, despite the obvious sexual tension between the two of you. It’s not your fault that he always came into work wearing tight shirts that clung to his muscles in ways that made you drool. It’s not your fault that he flirted back whenever you playfully hit on him while handing off your playlist for the night. It’s not your fault you noticed the way his eyes hungrily stared you down whenever you were on the main stage, or the way his jaw clenched in jealousy whenever you took a guest to the VIP room.

But rules are meant to be broken, right?

Tonight starts out no different from any other work night: greeting the other girls and bartenders, taking a quick shot of tequila for an extra boost of confidence, and digging through your purse trying to find your flash drive of songs you want played for your routines.

“Got anything new for me, babygirl?”

You snap your head up at the sound of the handsome DJ’s voice. “Hello to you too, Chan,” you reply, rolling your eyes. He shamelessly checks you out and gives you a cocky grin that you can’t decide if it makes you want smack him or pounce on him “You know if Minho hears you speak to me like that, you’re in a world of shit.”

“Then it’s a good thing he’s not here tonight. But even if he was, he wouldn’t dare fire me. I’m the best DJ this club has.”

“Well then, fuck my drag,” Changbin pipes up from behind the booth, shooting a glare at Chan. “If you’re so great, set up your own table then.”

“Don’t listen to him, Binnie,” you giggle as you go back to searching for your flash drive, “He just likes to think he has all the power around here.”

Changbin scoffs as he continues to set up his mixers. “Only when you’re around. The other girls would kill to have him flirt with them.”

You feel your cheeks flush at the comment, but try your best to ignore the feeling as you turn back to Chan and hand him your music. “I have some new songs for tonight. Feel free to play whichever ones you want to watch me dance to.”

“Jesus,” Changbin rolls his eyes, “get a room, you two.”

You shoot Chan a quick wink, earning a smirk from him, and turn around to head to the dressing rooms, well aware his eyes are glued to you as you leave.

You close the door behind you and set your purse down on the vanity, checking your phone and cursing at the time. You hadn’t realized that your mini flirting session took up more time than expected, and start frantically getting ready, changing into your black satin two-piece that left very little to the imagination and applying a generous amount of body highlighter to every exposed part of you.

As you stare at yourself in the mirror, you can’t help but think about what Changbin had said. You and Chan flirt all the time, and normally it doesn’t affect you, but something about Changbin’s comment has your head spinning. Something about discovering Chan only flirts with you just makes you want to break the rules even more, but you don’t want to risk your jobs just because you desperately want him to dick him down. You wouldn’t do that to him. You sigh and slip into your stilettos, checking your appearance one last time before stepping out onto the main floor for your night to begin.

The night had been running smoothly as usual: three pole routines with the songs Chan chose from your collection (all by The Weeknd, of course), and a few rotations around the club flirting with guests, giving a couple of lapdances. You have a generous amount of bills tucked into your thong and bra, and you pull them out to count, trying to smooth them out and make them look somewhat presentable. You make your way to the DJ booth, where you find Chan leaning against the wall beside the booth, scrolling through his phone and sipping on a beer, while Changbin is behind the table, engrossed with the set he was playing.

“Here,” you say, handing Chan his tip. “You made some really good choices tonight. I had a feeling you’d choose The Weeknd.”

“What can I say,” he smirks, “You can’t just give me the option to play his hottest songs and not expect me to do anything about it. Especially when I get to watch you dance to them.” 

He suddenly leans in, closing any space there was between you two. “By the way, your routine to ‘Life of the Party’? So. Fucking. Hot,” he purrs, looking straight into the eyes.

“Chan,” your voice falters for a second, your eyes unintentionally dropping to his lips, before bringing them back up to meet his stare. You clear your throat in efforts to recover, desperately trying to ignore the heat rising in your core. “You’re gonna get us in trouble.”

“Come on, Y/N, would that be so bad?”

“God, I can’t leave you two alone for one set, can I?” Changbin slides himself between you and the other DJ, throwing an arm over your shoulder and playfully wiggling his eyebrows at you both.

You elbow him in the ribs, earning a dramatic cry from him in return, and you can’t help but giggle. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Three shots? Maybe four? I don’t remember.” He hums in appreciation as you hand him a wad of cash. “I can’t believe I’m gonna pay this month’s rent with your ass money,” he laughs, trying to shake off as much body glitter from the bills you handed him before sliding them into his wallet.

You roll your eyes. “I can give you tit money, if you pref-“

“There’s my baby!”

The three of you spin around at the familiar voice, coming face to face with a young man, his dark hair grazing his eyes as he shamelessly checks you out.

“Jisung! I was wondering when you’d show up!” Changbin greets the man with a typical bro handshake, before swinging an arm around his neck. “Here for the usual?”

“Of course,” Jisung smiles at you, “It’s not a Friday night without a visit with Y/N.”

Jisung was one of your regulars; he came in every Monday and Friday to book private lapdances with you, and only you. The first night he booked you, he almost immediately admitted how enamored he was with you, and ever since then, he refused to book with any of the other girls. And to be fair, you might have allowed him to break one of the rules, letting him grab your ass, hips and breasts as you danced, especially since that always earned a better tip from him. But now, while he still did request lapdances every now and then, he mainly booked you just to talk, and fortunately for you, he still tipped generously. He was an assistant to a big-time music producer, a job that came with a handful of stressors that he just needed to rant to someone about, and you were always willing to be there to listen.

While the relationship you and Jisung formed over the past year is strictly platonic, that hadn’t stopped Chan from developing a slight sense of jealousy. And to make matters more complicated, Jisung was well aware of that tension and loved to push the DJ’s buttons, much to your chagrin.

Jisung shifts his focus to Chan, giving him a cocky smirk that you know will be followed by a snarky comment. “I’ve been dying to see this pretty lil’ lady all day. You don’t mind if I steal her away, do you?”

“Of course not,” scoffs Chan, rolling his eyes. “You don’t need my permission. She doesn’t belong to me.”

“Awww. And I know that must be difficult for yo-”

“But she doesn’t belong to you either.”

Jisung says nothing for a moment, before cocking his head at the DJ with a smirk and stepping towards him. “Oh? Is that so? I don’t see anyone else going to the VIP room with her the nights I’m here.”

“Guys-” you feebly try to take control of the situation, but your words fall on deaf ears.

“Y/N is a human being, not a fucking dog, Jisung. Nobody ‘owns’ her.” Chan crosses his arms against his chest, looking the younger man dead in the eye. “If anything, considering you’ve been coming here and paying her the big bucks, for what, a year now? I’d say she’s the one that owns you.”

Jisung smirk immediately disappears and you swear you can feel the air between the two men flood with tension. But within an instant, he smiles again, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Now, now, there’s no need to get your panties in a twist. But don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her and have some fun for the both of us. If you want, I can tell you all about it later.”

You quickly glance at Chan, his fingernails digging into the skin of his biceps, his jaw clenching so hard he looks like he could bust a vein in his neck.

“That’s enough,” Changbin interjects, massaging his temples in frustration. “Come on, Chan, you’re in the booth next. And Jisung? Just remember the club rules-”

“I know, I know,” Jisung rolls his eyes and turns back to you. “Shall we, baby?”

You nod, silently praying that Changbin will calm everything down once you leave, and the two of you head to the VIP room. Jisung opens the door follows you inside, jumping in surprise when you slam it shut and shoot him a glare, and he only laughs in response. “What? If you can tease him, why can’t I?”

You sit on the maroon leather couch in the VIP room, counting your tips and mentally making sure you had enough to pay your upcoming bills for the month. Jisung had left about twenty minutes ago, and the lack of muffled music from the main floor indicates that it’s finally 3am and the club is closed for the night. You release a long sigh, slouching in your seat and resting your head back on the couch. You close your eyes, your mind still reeling from everything that happened. Everything about tonight shocked you. Usually, Chan was good at hiding his jealousy, since the last thing both of you want was to scare away potential guests, or for Minho to notice. But Chan talking back? His reaction to Jisung’s last jab before leaving for the VIP room? Those were new.

You have never seen Chan that jealous, and if you’re being completely honest with yourself, it was fucking hot. Thoughts of Chan not only standing up for you, but also being possessive of you, and what he could do to you out of jealousy filled your head, and you feel a sudden tingle shoot down to your core. Everything in you knows that you shouldn’t fuck Chan. There are rules, but you can’t stop your mind from imagining all the possible sinful acts you could do with him that you would do anything for at this point. You know that would be a bad idea, but the delicious wetness pooling between your thighs shoves any inhibitions you previously had out the door.

Fuck the rules.

You walk out onto the empty main floor, letting out a breath of relief to find Chan packing up his mixers - alone. You tap on the booth to get his attention, giggling when he jumps in surprise.

“You’re still here? I’d thought you’d be gone by now.”

“I was just counting tips,” you reply as you glance around the club, making sure you two were truly alone. “Chan… about earlier-”

“Yeah... sorry about that.” He lets out a long sigh and runs his fingers through his dark, messy hair, the tips of his ears turning pink in embarrassment. “I don’t know what came over me. I just... you know I get a bit jealous sometimes, and that prick was being extra annoying about it tonight.”

“Not gonna lie though, your clapback was pretty great. And hilarious,” you nudge his arm with your elbow.

He laughs. “Yeah, well I’m glad you thought it was, because Changbin sure as hell lectured me about it for a solid 15 minutes.”

A comfortable silence falls between you both as Chan goes back to packing up the table. You chew on your bottom lip, trying to figure out the best way to ease any tension that might be lingering, and to bring up what you truly want from him. “Chan... Jisung and I just talk when we’re in the VIP room. Nothing happens-”

He shakes his head, keeping his focus on his current task. “You don’t need to tell me, Y/N. It’s honestly none of my business what you do with the guests. Like I said earlier, you don’t belong to me.”

“But what if I want to?”

His head snaps up to meet your gaze, and you have to bite down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from giggling at the look of utter confusion on his face. You lean in closer, lips inches away from his, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Y/N… w-what are you doing?” Chan shakily asks, his stare flicking between your eyes and your lips.

“Something I’ve been wanting to do for ages.” With that, you close this distance between the both of you, and you practically feel him melt into your touch. His wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, kissing you with such an intensity that ignites a fire in your core. He backs you up against the wall of the DJ booth, pressing his hips against yours and gently rolling them into you, making you moan against his lips.

Chan hesitantly breaks away from the kiss, breathing heavily as he searches your eyes for any sign of uncertainty or regret. “Y/N. The rules. I don’t want you to get fired-”

“I honestly don’t give a flying fuck about the rules at this point,” you purr, placing kisses along his jaw and neck. “Do you?”

He breaks into the biggest grin you have ever seen, and it makes you smile in return. “Fuck no.” His lips come crashing onto yours, deepening the kiss to the point where it’s a mess of teeth and tongues, indicating how desperately  both of you have been wanting to do this.

His head snaps up to meet your gaze, and you have to bite down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from giggling at the look of utter confusion on his face. You lean in closer, lips inches away from his, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Y/N… w-what are you doing?” Chan shakily asks, his eyes flicking between your own and your lips.

“Something I’ve been wanting to do for ages.” With that, you close this distance between the both of you, and you practically feel him melt into your touch. His wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer to him, kissing you back with such an intensity that further ignites the fire in your core. He backs you up against the wall of the DJ booth, pressing his hips against yours and gently rolling them into you, making you softly moan against his lips.

Chan hesitantly breaks away from the kiss, breathing heavily as he searches your eyes for any sign of uncertainty or regret. “Y/N. The rules. I don’t want you to get fired-”

“I honestly don’t give a flying fuck about the rules at this point,” you purr, planting kisses along his jaw and neck. “Do you?”

He breaks into the biggest grin you have ever seen as he brings a hand up to gently cup your cheek, and you can’t help but smile in return. “Fuck no.” His lips come crashing down onto yours, nipping and sucking at your bottom lip, asking for entrance which you instantly give him. You can feel his hard on growing beneath his jeans as he rolls his hips against you once more, making the knot in your stomach tighten.

“Hey, so I’m done-”

Changbin’s voice abruptly interrupts your heated rendezvous, making you frantically scramble out of Chan’s arms and dive underneath the table, while Chan quickly pretends to continue breaking down the DJ booth.

“You guys are literally the least discreet people I know. It blows my mind that you haven’t been caught yet.” You can’t see him, you just know Changbin is shooting Chan one of his signature death glares, intended for the both of you. You poke your head out from behind the booth, which only gets you dramatic eye roll from the other DJ. “Just don’t make a mess and don’t forget to lock up,” he grumbles as he turns to leave. “Oh, by the way bro, you got shit on your face.”

You glance up at Chan, giggling at your lipstick smeared along his lips, jaw, and neck, the bright red color prominent against his pale skin. He narrows his eyes at you, and you innocently mouth the word “whoops”, grinning as he rolls his eyes.

As soon as you hear the doors close, Chan pulls you to your feet, lifting you up and pinning you to the table. He attacks your neck and collarbones with rough kisses, but thankfully not rough enough to leave any marks that’ll need to be covered up for your next shift. Desperate for more, you wrap your legs around his waist and grind your hips up against his, smirking against his lips as he groans into your mouth.

Chan begins to plant wet kisses down your stomach as his hands frantically move from your hips to his belt. He begins to undo the buckle before you grab his hands to stop him, which only gets out a small whimper in confusion from the man. “Not here,” you lean up to pull him closer and playfully nip his bottom lip, before grabbing the hair at the nape of his neck and pulling it so he’s looking you straight in the eyes. “The VIP room.”

Chan’s eyes darken with lust as he harshly kisses you again, deepening the kiss to the point where it’s a mess of teeth and tongues, but it makes the heat between your legs grow by the second. You let out a yelp in surprise as he lifts you into his arms without warning, making his way to the infamous room where he’s watched you lead guests into night after night.

The second he steps into the VIP room, it’s as if both of your desires are kicked into overdrive, the desperation for what you’ve been waiting for all this time becoming almost unbearable. You take his bottom lip between your teeth again and tug on it lightly, relishing the way his grip on your ass tightens exponentially. Chan kicks the door closed, not breaking the kiss for one second as he sits down on the leather couch, positioning you so that you’re straddling his lap. You can feel his prominent bulge underneath the rough material of his jeans as he ruts up against your clothed heat, and you whimper as you grind against him, desperately wanting more and trying to indicate how much you want him need him now. You feel his hands firmly hold you in place, halting your motions and making you whine in frustration, which only earns you a low chuckle in response.

“Use your words, Y/N. Tell me what you want.”

You roughy kiss him and swivel your hips against him, smirking when he releases a throaty groan against your lips. You take a hold of the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him away from you so you can look him in his lust-filled eyes. “I want you, Chan. All of you.”

Chan smirks, giving you a quick kiss before lifting you off his lap, pulling down his jeans and flinging them off to god knows where. You hastily rip off your two piece and toss it haphazardly across the room, giggling when Chan pulls you back into his lap the second you’re bare in front of him. His gaze is locked on your form, taking you all in before looking back into your eyes. He stares at you as if you are a goddess, and you feel your cheeks flush from the attention.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he mutters, his hands sliding up and down your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He brings one hand to your jaw, pulling you into a searing kiss, his other hand taking hold his rigid member and sliding it through your sopping folds, making you shameless moan aloud. “Ride me babygirl,” Chan mumbles as he begins to kiss and nip at your collarbone, “take what you want from me.”

With that, you slowly lower yourself onto his cock, keening at the way he deliciously stretches you out, finally giving you the taste of what you’ve been wanting for so long. Chan throws his head back, screwing his eyes shut, a sinful groan falling from lips as you sit on him completely. Giving yourself a moment to adjust to his size, you wrap your arms around neck and pull him back so he’s meeting your gaze. You take his hands and intertwine them with yours, pinning them behind his head as you begin to ride him, slowly lifting yourself off him before quickly dropping back down. A string of illicit moans and curses falls from Chan’s lips, his hands firmly gripping yours, desperately trying to keep himself from breaking your grasp and taking control. He trails wet kisses down your chest, licking your nipples before taking them into his mouth and rolling them between his teeth, making you whimper and lean into his touch. You pick up for pace, admiring the way his face contorts into different expressions of pleasure as he throws his head back and looks up at you with glassy eyes.

“S-shit babygirl...”

His bout of self control doesn’t last much longer, because the next thing you know, Chan rips his hands from your grip, placing them on your hips as he begins to thrust up into you, meeting your movements halfway, hitting you in just the right spot. He moves a hand from your hips to rub firm circles against your clit, making you cry out in pleasure.

“F-fuck... Chan- oh my god...”

You try your best to continue to ride him, but you feel your thighs getting weaker and weaker with every thrust. You feel the pressure in your core building to the point of complete euphoria, when he lifts you off of him completely. You whine in frustration, feeling your high fade, hating how empty you feel without him buried inside you.

“Don’t worry baby,” Chan chuckles at your protests, suddenly flipping you around and positioning you on all fours on the couch. He places a tender kiss on your shoulder blade, before moving up to nibble your earlobe. “You’ll get to cum soon enough.”

He aligns himself with your entrance and eases into you, the new position allowing him to fill you deeper than before, making you both release illicit moans at the feeling. Chan slowly retracts his rock hard member from you, only to instantly plunge back into you, taking no time to pick up the pace, slamming into you at a rate that’s making you see stars. The momentum of his actions force you forward on the couch, making you cling desperately to the armrest in attempt to stable yourself, praying your shaky legs won’t completely give out underneath him. Suddenly, a sharp slap comes down on your ass, making you cry out and clench around him.

“Fuck... you like that, baby?” He massages where his hand had landed, only to spank your ass once more.

“G-god, yes Chan... p-please... harder.”

You feel another slap, come down on your other cheek, this time much harder, and you can’t help but moan loudly at the feeling, the delicious sting causing your grip around his cock to tighten exponentially. You hear him let out a low groan as his hips begin to slap against yours at a brutal speed, and you feel the knot in your stomach begin to unravel again.

“C-Chan, I’m... I’m close...”

“I know, babygirl, I can feel you.” Chan leans over you and plants rough kisses against your neck. “Go on, Y/N, cum for me.”

With his permission, you come undone around him, your release white hot, hitting you like a train and making your mind go completely blank as he continues to roll his hips into you, helping you ride out your high. Your legs feel useless under you, but thankfully Chan’s firm grip on your hips keeps you from collapsing from exhaustion. His thrusts start to become more and more erratic, desperately chasing his own high, groaning at the feeling of your tight pussy still throbbing around him. You can tell he’s close, and clench around him hard, smirking as you hear a string of curses fall from his lips, his hips rutting and quivering against you as he paints your walls white, and you hum in content at the warm feeling.

Chan slowly pulls out of you and falls back on the couch, gently pulling you so you’re laying on top of him. You leans up and playfully nip at his bottom lip, making him chuckle.

“That was...”

“Amazing,” you giggle, burying your face into his chest.

A comfortable silence falls between you two, and you eyes flutter close as you bask in heat the radiates from his body. He absentmindedly run his fingers lightly up and down your back, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” He quietly asks, as if he’s hesitant to bring it up again. “Do you want want to belong to me?”

You look up at him, and you swear you can feel your heart expand at the way he’s staring back at you with so much hope and adoration. “I do... god I really do, Chan, but you know we can’t. We barely manage to flirt without getting caught, so this has to be one-time thing-“

“I got offered a job at a different club,” Chan quickly blurts out. “It has better hours, more creative freedom since I wouldn’t be DJing for strippers... If I took it, would it change things?”

“You’d do that? But you love this job.”

“I do, but not gonna lie, I mainly love it because I get to see you.” His comment makes you blush, and you bury your face in his chest again if efforts to keep him from noticing, which only gets you a soft laugh as he gently tips your chin up to face him again.

“Honestly, if it means I can do what we just did with you whenever we wanted, without having to worry about stupid rules or anything, then fuck yeah I’d take another job. The only downside is I won’t be able to watch you dance when I work.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you, laughing when you just roll your eyes at him.

You sit up, positioning yourself so that you’re straddling him once more. “That just means you’ll have to come back here as a guest.”

“Hmmm...” he mumbles as his eyes travel up and down your body, his hands reaching around and lightly squeezing your ass. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to follow the club rules though.”

“Don’t worry about those,” you purr, leaning down and nibbling on his ear, earning a quiet moan from him. “If you become my regular, all the rules are off the table.”

“I like the sound of that.” Chan gently cups your jaw and pulls you into a tender, but passionate kiss.

You smile against him, running your fingers through his hair, before pulling away slightly, your forehead resting against his. “Then I’m yours, Chan.”

“And I’m yours as well,” he whispers, pressing one more kiss to your lips, before wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you off the couch, earning him a yelp from you. He lays you down on the couch, hovering over you with a mischievous smirk plastered on his face. “What do you say, let me show how I can really treat you in the VIP room?”

[theclockworkmonk]

Out of the Mouths of Babes — Chapter 5

AO3 | FFN

Previous chapter on Tumblr

Written for Hinny Ficfest 2021

Prompt: “Uncle Ron said something about Harry knocking Ginny up, but I don’t know what he means,” Teddy said.

*******

Harry barely reacted in time to put up a Shield Charm before two Stunning Spells shot across the kitchen table at him and deflected up into the ceiling.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Ginny and Ron shouted at the same time, Ron flailing and tipping over backward in his chair.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Charlie screamed at Harry.

"Is he pressuring you into this?" Bill growled at Ginny.

"There is no reason to resort to something so drastic!" said Percy.

"And it's definitely not something to laugh about," said George.

Fleur was babbling a mile a minute in French, tears welling in her eyes and trying to get Victoire to stop crying.

Molly had collapsed into Arthur's arms and fainted.

"Have you lot all lost your minds!?" shouted Harry. "Why is it so important that I keep it?"

"What use do we have for it, anyway?" asked Ginny.

A second explosion of angry shouting erupted as all the Weasleys talked over each other.

"How in the WORLD is all this the appropriate response to Harry and Ginny living together!?" pleaded Hermione.

"THAT'S NOT — wait, they're living together!?" said Percy.

Hermione gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth.

"Oh please," George rolled his eyes, "Anyone with a brain already knew that."

"What!? Why didn't you say anything!" said Charlie, "We could have stopped this before it happened!"

"Gee, thanks, Hermione," growled Harry as she blushed harder.

"Then what the hell are all you gits talking about!?" barked Ginny loudly to cut through the cacophony of testosterone. "As annoying as you always are when treating me like an innocent girl, it makes more sense than getting upset about Harry's stupid Wizengamot seat!"

"Harry has a Wizengamot seat!?" asked Percy in awe.

"Don't get any ideas, Perce, Harry's taken," said George.

"Of course we're not talking about that!" said Molly, her voice shaking as she regained consciousness and stood up straight. "We're talking about the baby!"

Harry and Ginny looked sideways at Victoire.

"THE NEW BABY!" Molly shrieked, growing more exasperated.

"What, Hermione's baby?" asked Ginny.

Molly fainted again.

"Ex-CUSE me!?" cried Hermione as every head in the room spun to face her, Ron's turning a sickly shade of green.

"Oh...I shouldn't have eaten all those biscuits," Ron muttered fearfully, holding his stomach.

"Wait, Hermione's pregnant too?" asked Percy.

"No, I am not!" said Hermione forcefully.

"Wait, what do you mean 'too?'" asked Ginny. "Who else is pregnant?"

"THERE IS NO 'ELSE!' I AM NOT PREGNANT!" Hermione screamed. "Can we please establish that first?"

"Love, just calm down," said Ron softly, placing his hands gently on her shoulders. "It's okay, we can handle this. Why don't you just sit down…."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ron, even if I were pregnant, if you start coddling me you'll regret it. Ginny, why the hell did you say that I'm pregnant?"

"Well she kept dropping hints left and right that someone was pregnant!" Ginny gestured wildly towards Fleur, who until now was doing a good job of avoiding the chaos, and blushed self-consciously when it was her turn to be the focus of all the anger.

"Ginny, just stop it!" Fleur lashed out. "I was trying to encourage you to come clean!"

"...Me?"

"Ginny, we know about the baby," said Arthur calmly. "We've known for days."

About a dozen different emotions collided violently inside Harry. He couldn't imagine what the expression on his face might look like. He slowly turned on the spot towards Ginny.

"I'm sure you're about to say something all noble and comforting," said Ginny dryly. "But you don't have to be that good of a boyfriend yet. No, I'm not pregnant."

"I applaud your performance, Gin-Gin," said George, "but nothing stays secret for long in this family." He jerked his head toward Ron.

"Wha—Why are you jerking your head towards me, don't jerk your head towards me!" Ron panicked.

"Why is he jerking his head towards you, Ron?" Ginny seethed.

"Hell if I know!" Ron said defensively. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, this is the first I've heard of any new babies!"

"Sorry, Ronniekins, but you spilled the beans to Teddy, and he sold you out," said George.

"You told Teddy that I'm pregnant!?" Ron flinched as Ginny smacked his arm.

"Using much more vulgar language," Molly whimpered, still trembling and desperately clutching onto Arthur for support.

"I did not tell Teddy that you're pregnant!" Ron spoke up. "I never even—"

He stopped speaking and his eyes bulged out. He and Hermione faced each other, realization dawning on their faces.

Ron's voice is small. "...Oh—Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop it!" he cowered as Hermione started furiously hitting him.

"You — complete — idiot Ronald Weasley!" she shouted with each hit.

Ginny's older brothers were looking far too pleased with themselves for her taste.

"Okay, so can we stop this charade now?" asked Bill.

"Okay, I don't know what this latest domestic incident is about," said Ginny, pointing at the sparring couple, "I just know that I'm not pregnant."

"Teddy heard Ron saying that Harry had knocked you up!" said Charlie.

"No….but I might have said that it was likely that he would knock her up."

Harry gaped at him. "Why were you discussing me knocking up Ginny at all!?" he demanded, as he physically restrained Ginny from attacking Ron.

"Because you both were being so bloody shameless!" Ron shouted back. "It's enough to drive anyone mental! Don't try to annoy your brother by having no self-control and then get mad when he says you have no self control!"

"I want the record to show that I did not partake in this line of reasoning and told him he was being ridiculous," said Hermione.

"Thanks for the support, Love," said Ron.

Bill, Charlie, and Percy all seemed to have deflated like balloons. Their faces matched their hair and they were looking anywhere but Ginny's furious face.

"Well...erm…." said Charlie, trying to keep his face stern, "Ron's right, you should still—"

"Oh, do not try to still chest-beat after you've all been exposed as idiots!" Ginny hissed. "You've all been absolutely terrible to Harry and me based on what a toddler overheard!"

"She is right," Fleur scolded her husband, rejoining the row now that she had calmed Victoire down, "If you zink zat she is pregnant, you should not start fights to stress 'er out! Shame on you!" Bill hung his head.

"You know, I really don't think that trying to manipulate Ginny into talking about it is much better," said Harry flatly, "You all need to mind your own business!"

"Yes, don't think I'm going to forget this any time soon!" Ginny waved a threatening finger at all of them. "Not only treating me like an idiot child who's been taken advantage of, but actually thinking we're stupid and reckless enough to unintentionally get pregnant in the first place!"

"See, Molly dear?" Arthur told his wife gently, "it was all just a misunderstanding." He had guided her into a chair and was trying to calm her down. Her breathing was quick and shallow and her eyes were darting around madly.

"...No. No, it all fit…" she shook her head violently, "They're covering it up. You need to tell the truth, Ginny!"

It was clear that there was no reasoning with her, she had become delirious by now from all the chaos and panic.

Ginny groaned. "All right, you want to settle this? Fine, let's settle this." And without another word, she marched out of the kitchen into the sitting room, threw some floo powder into the fireplace, called out "Diagon Alley!" and disappeared into the flames.

The kitchen was finally quiet for the next few minutes as Molly's breathing slowly but surely slowed down to merely anxious instead of an outright panic attack. Bill and Fleur were bickering quietly in French, while Hermione silently gave Ron her best "I told you so" look for not watching what he said around Teddy.

After what felt like an eternity, the fireplace roared to life again and Ginny marched back into the kitchen, dusting soot off her clothes.

"Where did you go?" asked Harry.

She held up a vial of clear liquid. "Apothecary," she said shortly. The unique shape of the bottle was instantly recognizable.

"Oh, well that's just great," said Ron tiredly. "Harry Potter's girlfriend hastily buying a pregnancy test potion, I'm sure that won't be in the headlines tomorrow."

Ginny ignored him as she skimmed over the card that came attached to the potion. "Okay, yeah, blue for boy, pink for girl, white for not pregnant."

She uncorked the flask, set it down on the table, used her wand to cut off a single strand of her hair, and lowered it into the solution. The clear, colorless contents of the bottle instantly started bubbling furiously.

"See?" Ginny barked furiously, "So, now that we've gotten this circus over with, I would greatly appreciate it if you gits kindly butted the hell out of my love life, and we can all….just….move….on…."

Her voice trailed off into nothing as her eyes remained locked on the vial on the table.

Which was now a bright, vibrant blue.

[kinsurou]

Hello guys! This is my first contribution to the Haikyuu HQ Server Collabs! It's so exciting to be part of this project alongside so many wonderful creators! We were asked to create a fic/art with the following prompt: "I wonder what he'd do if he knew you were with me right now." (Pronouns may vary).

I want to thank everyone in the HQHQ Server who helped me out with this fic. You guys are such amazing friends and I love every single one of you!

Click here to check out the Collab Masterlist!

Word Count: 5.1K

Pairings: Suna Rintarou x Reader

Beta Reader: @kuroos-babygirl

Warnings: Smut (+18), Dubcon (Reader doesn't give verbal consent.) Coercion, Toxic Parental Figures, Use of weed, Alcohol, Unprotected sex, Corruption.

A sharp, unfaltering gaze followed your every move all the way back from the other side of the room. From the small fidgeting whenever anyone looked in your direction, to the way you would sip awkwardly at the red cup clasped between your hands, and the scrunch of distaste adorning your features because of the strong, bitter flavor of the drink.

But what else could you do when you’re surrounded by literal strangers, and the only person that can be considered your only friend was currently too busy straddling a guy’s lap, making out to her heart’s content and grinding against his lap...while they’re both sitting in front of you.

It was so awkward...and yet it was nearly impossible to look away from the two of them. The way her hips rocked against his lap as she pulled on his gray locks, or his veiny hands taking a firm hold of her hips. Watching her going at it with this guy was too much to handle.

Why did you let her drag you into this party to begin with? If your parents find out you snuck out of the house, they’ll kill you.

...Your parents.

That thought is quickly forgotten. Right now you just want to have another drink and drown the worries away. Standing up from the cushion, you quickly begin walking towards the kitchen, leaving behind the security of the couch as well as your occupied friend. 

To your relief, the kitchen isn’t as crowded as the rest of the house, where other people were just talking, some of them doing keg stands or playing drinking games. There’s even some of them laying around the floor or leaning against the walls, completely knocked out by the amount of alcohol they consumed.

Finally, you come across a mess of beer bottles and red cups all over the countertop, some of them thrown around carelessly, others are full with the alcohol you were desperately looking for. Rather than going back to your seat, you stay in the empty room, leaning back against the marble and taking a swig of a new cup, once again drinking in silence while swaying slightly to the beat of the music. Too distracted to realize someone else just walked in until their footsteps come relatively closer, stopping less than a few feet away from you.

“Isn’t it past midnight already, Cinderella?” 

You jolt in surprise, nearly crushing the cup with a tight grip until you recognize that voice and that cursed nickname. There’s only one person on campus who calls you that face to face. Frowning slightly as you look at the culprit, you come face to face with a pair of nonchalant, dark yellow eyes that are always looking out for other’ weak spots despite their absent facade.

“Stop calling me that, Suna.” You turn away from him, hoping that he’ll get the hint and walk away, but that heavy, piercing gaze never leaves your body. Instead, he just walked closer before stopping in front of you. He starts leaning forwards, that bored look on his face doesn’t change in the slightest while he traps you between the marble countertop and his broad torso. “G-Go away…”

But he just continues staring at you, not another word comes out of his lips before his face approaches yours. Cheeks brushing past each other’s so faintly that the touch almost goes unnoticed. When his warm breath brushes against the uncovered skin of your shoulders, you finally realize just how close he’s standing. But either he doesn’t notice or he just doesn’t care about the proximity, or the effects it has on your body. Such as the clenching between your thighs or the small hitch in your breathing.

It only lasted for a minute, and yet it feels like an eternity when he finally takes a step back, holding one of those familiar cups in hand. Both relief and disappointment radiate off your body when he finally takes a step back, but judging from the way he looks at you with a small glint in his eyes, Suna is perfectly aware of what he’s provoking.

“Disappointed much?” God, you wanted to smack that smirk off his face so badly. This is exactly why you try to avoid him in college as much as possible.

...As well as other reasons.

“You’re so easy to read that it’s not even a challenge.” The eye contact is never broken as he leans back against the sink, taking a sip of his own cup so nonchalantly. It was like he didn’t corner you in the first place. But you know better that Suna Rintarou never does anything by mere coincidence. “What are you doing here in the first place? I thought Cinderella wasn’t allowed to go to the party.”

“Yeah, well…” You don’t look at him as you answer. The less eye contact you could make with him, the better “She still attended, didn’t she?”

He chuckled quietly from his spot. It was such a low noise, barely audible despite standing so close to him. And yet something about it was just so captivating. You’ve never heard his laughter before, so this was definitely something new.

“No wonder everyone’s talking about you right now.” With those words, you fell right into his trap just like a butterfly on a spiderweb. Quickly turning around to find yourself into the same position as before. Trapped between marble and his warmth. This time he stood even closer than before, so close that you could smell an all too familiar scent that saturated every fiber of his clothes.

“It was too good to be true. The principal’s daughter coming to a party? Had to see with my own eyes.” He leans forwards again. The overwhelming proximity makes your heart beat rapidly against your chest with such strength, it’s a miracle Suna hasn’t said anything about it when he presses his own chest against yours. Or maybe he did notice, if the way he looks at your cleavage is any indicator.

“You’re so nervous, it feels like I’m looking at a little rabbit.” His fingers start playing with the hem of your blouse, brushing faintly against your hips. Every inch of your skin trembles by his touch. A part of your head tells you this is a bad idea, that you need to walk away and leave right this instant. But your body says otherwise, staying firm in place.

“N-No.” Your gaze is averted, focused on anything else but the man standing in front of you. “Please, I just want to leave...”

“Do you? Or maybe you’re just afraid.” Something brushes softly against the shell of your ear, it takes you a full minute to realize that feeling belongs to his lips, nibbling teasingly while his hands make their way up your back, fiddling with the clips of your bra. But he just keeps tugging at them playfully, not really set on taking off your clothes….at least not yet.

“Afraid of what your parents would say. Think nobody knows how they treat you?” his hands finally stop, just to delve down until they’re resting over your lower back. “You’re such a good girl who never causes trouble...it’s too good to be true if you ask me.”

He pulled your hips closer towards him, slipping one leg between your trembling legs. A sly smirk grew on his face once he began grinding his knee against your core, sweet friction drew out one of the sweetest, high-pitched gasps from you. A noise so sweet, dirty and addictive that he needed to hear more of them. So when you looked at him in the eye, Suna could barely control himself. “Don’t you want to let loose for once? Do you want to be my dirty little girl?”

“Suna, I…” He didn’t wait for an answer, capturing your silky lips into a fervent kiss, swallowing every single whimper you gave whenever that knee brushed lazily against your core. Everything he did quickly overwhelmed your body, triggering a chain of breath-taking sensations. Like the fluttering at the pit of your stomach, the uncontrollable shivers prickling your skin, and the waves of heat radiating off your face. Frankly, you wanted more of it.

...But just thinking about your parent’s reactions was enough to feel terrified. The constant pressure and beliting over the smallest things. Not getting a perfect score in all the exams? Lazy and irresponsible. Wearing something they deemed inappropriate? Attention seeker. You could still remember the one time you ran into Suna while he was smoking, the smell of his cigarette had tainted your clothes that day, but neither of your parents believed the claims of innocence, calling you such horrible things that the mere reminder could be enough to make anyone suffer a meltdown.

Having one of the harshest teachers as well as the principal themselves as your parents was a nightmare nobody would wish upon their worst enemy.

You mustered enough courage to place both hands on his chest, slightly pushing him away while trying so hard not to try and feel the chiseled muscles hidden underneath the black fabric of his shirt.

“Stop. They’ll kill me if they find out.”

“They don’t have to know.”

“But I don’t want to get in trouble again.”

“You’re already in trouble just being here, Cinderella.”

It was true. And you hated how true that statement was, sooner or later your father would find out and it would be chaos...but that didn’t do much to soothe that painful sensation at the pit of your stomach, slowly feeding off the sheer horror you felt at the idea of their constant beliting.

The trembling of your body didn’t go unnoticed by the guy standing between your legs. 

“Hey, you’re already in trouble...So let me help you relax, what do you say, Cinderella?” He kissed your jaw softly, lingering in place as he inhaled the soft scent of perfume. “Don’t you want to feel good for once? I know you’ll enjoy it.”

But he was only met with silence, neither were you looking at him again, instead your eyes stayed focused on the sink overflowing with empty bottles of liquor. Suna just huffed, pulling his hands back before he began stepping back, ready to go back to the living room with a sour mood, but that quickly vanished when he felt the tight clutch at the corner of his shirt.

With an eyebrow raised, he turned back to see you grabbing on his shirt, still avoiding his gaze as much as possible. But he could see it, the way your body said the contrary. You wanted this as much as he did, maybe even more. But the fear clouding your thoughts was making it hard to say anything.

And that gave Suna an idea.

“If you want this so bad, then I can give you a hand. What do you say Cinderella?” His fingers once again brushed against the uncovered skin of your shoulder. And when you made no move to stop his approaches, Suna knew he had won. “Good girl.”

He grabbed you softly by the wrist, determined to take things somewhere more private. Nobody seemed to pay attention anymore as you both walked across the halls. When he crossed the living room, Suna made eye contact with his silver haired friend, who was ever so busy with the girl sitting on his lap as she attacked his neck fervently. Both males just looked at each other and nodded silently before getting back to business. Osamu went back to making out with the girl, and Suna brought you along to one of the empty rooms.

The sound of a door being closed snapped you out of it. apart from the soft glow of the moonlight, the room was completely dark, but it was still possible to see the outline of some furniture placed around the room, the outline of a desk at the corner, some shelves and even a small couch near the window. It had to be some sort of study. Whose house was this in the first place…?

Out of nowhere, a strong smell began coming from your side, slowly making its presence well-known across the room. A strong smell that could come from one thing only.

And that was from the joint held between Suna’s fingers, the tip burned brightly in the darkness of the room, giving his sharp features this captivating, gentle glow akin to that from a fireplace in those fairytales you always used to read when you were but a small little girl, still full of nothing but hope and dreams for a brighter future.

Suna noticed the way your eyes lingered on the speck of light, following the smoky trail as it danced across the small breeze inside the room before dissipating, like it never existed in the first place.

“Here.” He put the joint in front of your face, not even blinking by the shocked expression on your face. Eyes wide open as you looked at it with sheer horror and panic. “This will help you relax, little rabbit.”

“...I thought I was Cinderella?”

“I thought you hated that nickname?”

He sighed in irritation, knowing exactly where this was going. You changed the subjects on purpose, trying to delay this for a bit longer. “Come on, it’s not like it’s gonna bite you.”

Slowly, you grabbed the joint from his hand. Carefully bringing it closer to your mouth and letting its weight rest over your lips for a moment, before inhaling deeply. Something you quickly regretted before coughing rapidly, suffocating on the smoke burning at the back of your throat. The room was filled with coughing and a laughing fit coming from the male sitting on the couch. When in the world did he sit down?

“How...ack!...How do you enjoy this crap?!” You wheezed painfully, glaring at Suna while he held the sides of his stomach, his body was shaking tremendously from his laughter that he nearly slid off the couch. Asshole…

Once he regained his breath, he got up from his seat and approached you again, taking the blunt away before you could throw it away, after all it had been expensive.

“Seriously Cinderella. You’re supposed to go slowly.” He pulled you along one more time. Sitting back on his previous spot as he helped position your legs to his sides so you straddled his lap just nicely enough for him to admire the sight in front of him. “I suppose you could use some help, mmm?”

You looked at him in both embarrassment and confusion. Watching him smoke that cursed thing so easily, no coughing fits, no choking on the smoke, nada. How long had he been doing this? All your attention was on the embers coming to life with his breathing, too focused on that precious light to notice the hand making its way around your back, casually tracing circles on your upper back.

That same hand pulled you again, this time with such care that it was impossible to resist the contact, not even when he pulled the blunt away before reaching out for your face, holding you close by the cheeks as your lips brushed against each others. You focused every bit of attention on that feather like touch, that was shortly followed by a fain gust of smoke. It felt so intimate being like this, being held so closely by someone you’ve known since high school, and being able to catch up after all this time wasn’t such a bad experience after all…

Then something in the air took a sharp turn when he closed the distance between your lips, once again capturing them with his own. But this time that weight on your shoulders was absent. That fear that always haunted your every action, every decision, every single thought, it was all gone.

For once in your life, you were not afraid anymore…

Your arms me their way around his neck, deepening the kiss with an intensity Suna didn’t even know was possible for someone as meek and quiet as you. No wonder people always joke that the quietest ones are the most perverse.

“Haha...That’s the spirit, Cinderella.”

The arms around your body pulled your hips down, grinding the spot between your legs against something hard, it didn’t take a genius to know where this was heading. You just let his arms guide you through it, enjoying the grinding of his growing erection and the low grunts he gave, easily muffled by the deafening music blaring through the other side of the door.

“Enjoying yourself?” If only you could see the mischievous smirk on his face when the only reply he got was a loud whimper. If only you could see the effect those little noises had on the male humping through your clothes, eager to get a taste of your body after all this time pining after you. “Fuck, you’re really into this, huh? You dirty little girl.”

Was it his words? The blunt finally starting to kick in? Both? Whatever it was, it made waves of heat radiate off your skin, covering it with a thin layer of sweat that made your clothes suffocating. Every fiber of these borrowed tight fitting clothes kept sticking oh so painfully over your body.

It felt like a torture having to part away from Suna, but these clothes had to leave. He had to admit watching as your top left your body was a delicious show, one he really wanted to take part in as he reached out to help remove your bottoms, leaving your body displayed to him, covered in nothing but a scandalous set of lingerie.

“Not so innocent, are you?”

As soon as you got within his arm’s reach, he pulled you back into his lap again. This time however, he had you sitting down between his open legs, with your bare back leaning against his chest. Not only did Suna have a way with words that could easily rile anyone up, but he also had a way to do wonders with his hands. 

The blunt was left over the window’s edge, forgotten in favor of your lace covered chest. Which he began squeezing softly, pinching the fabric over your nipples every time you released a whimper because of his intoxicating touches.

“Do you ever play with your nipples the same way you play with your pussy?”

“N-No…!”

“You’re an awful liar, Cinderella.” He slid one hand under your bra, pinching an erect nipple between his fingers while his other hand made his way to trace small circles over your panties, enjoying the feeling of damp fabric under his fingers. “You can tell a lot about people by looking them in the eye. You’re so desperate to be fucked silly.”

The lace over your chest is pulled upwards, releasing the soft mounds from their restraints with a soft bounce before a hand quickly latched on to one of them. Squeezing in sync with the fingers making their way inside the black lingerie, one began prodding its way between sloppy folds, gathering enough of your arousal before delving deeper into your cunt.

“Mmmm!….It feels so...weird.” Your back arches with each thrust of his finger against your soft walls “Suna, please!” Rather than slowing down he pushes another finger inside, thrusting and scissoring them at a leisurely pace to prepare you for the real thing.

“Come on, I know you can do better than that.” He swiftly wraps an arm under your chest as soon as your body starts writhing, buckling against the digits buried deep inside. The calloused texture, a result of his constant games of volleyball, provide additional stimulation. “Now, hold still. Look at you, taking my fingers so well.”

If only you could wipe that smirk of his face, but your hands were currently balled up into tight fists, nails digging painfully into the skin of your palms with ferocious strength, threatening to rip through the flesh at any moment. 

“Does it feel this good when you’re touching yourself?” You began squirming again, unable to take anymore of his touch, it’s too much, your body couldn’t take it anymore. It jerked furiously as it reached an orgasm, knocking the air out of your lungs with its strength.

If only you could see the look on Suna’s face as he leaned forwards over your shoulder, observing the heave of your chest with heightened desire. The throbbing in his pants turned unbearable when your walls clenched around his hand, soaking it with your sweet release that dripped down on the couch. 

God, he wanted to be inside you so badly. He wanted to ruin that sweet little hole, wreck it and fill it with his cum until the only thing that came out of your parted lips was his name.

“Ready for the best part, you little whore?” You were still too dazed to answer him, not even when he laid you face down on the couch, pulling your hips up to hook two fingers over the waistband of those soaked panties, pulling them away and taking them off before shoving them in his pocket. He grunted at the sight of those dripping folds, grabbing the flesh of your bare ass to get a better look at that slick cunt ready to be pleased. “I want to taste your pussy so badly, Cinderella.”

His hand left your skin just as quickly. You felt his weight leave the cushion, hearing the rustle of fabric even with the music from the party still blaring downstairs. One sound caught your attention among all the noise. The sound of a zipper being undone lures you attention like a sweet melody. And when your face follows the source you’re greeted by such an alluring sight of a well toned chest, with ripped muscles from years of training in the volleyball team despite Suna’s lean frame.

You wanted to run your hands acrossthem again, caress and kiss that bare skin. But Suna had other plans as he lowered both pants and boxers, sighing as his erection springs out with a small bounce, with a small bead of precum already dribbling down. He was quick to crawl over your naked body to begin grinding his shaft between your cheeks so you could feel the hard cock eager to be inside your velvet walls. “But as much as I’d love to have you sitting on my face. I can’t wait any longer, but neither can you right?”

He let out that signature chuckle when you buried your face into the arm rest and started mumbling to yourself, he could still make out something along the lines of “asshole”. 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Cinderella.” He gathered more of your arousal between his fingers, occasionally rubbing a thumb against your clit to tease, ignoring the desperate pleads as he began pumping his cock, covering it with enough of your slick before pressing it down between your folds, with a quick thrust of his hips, he finally buried himself all the way in.

The fabric underneath your face muffed your cries of discomfort, pressed tightly against your face to the point it was hard to breathe. The stretch was so painful, so hot, but it was so fucking good, your body craved for more and Suna was eager to provide.

“Fuck, you’re so tight. You feel so good sucking in my cock like a good little slut.” He gripped your hips harshly, giving short, lazy thrust that made you cry out to him. “Tell me how good it feels to have me inside of you.”

“It feels...ngh! It feels great, Suna!” A hand smacked your ass painfully, leaving behind a burning sensation on the delicate skin. “Mmmm!”

“Wrong name, sweetheart.” He gave another thrust, a rougher one that pushed you forwards, nearly smacking your forehead against the arm rest. “Wanna try again? You better get it right this time.”

“R….Rin-!” A hand pressed firmly on your back while the other one tilted your hips upwards, it helped Suna brush against a different spot, one that brought tears to your eyes with every thrust. An arm reached back to hold on to him, just to be grabbed by the wrist and twisted behind your back, trapped in place while Suna began moving faster “Eh, close enough. Be grateful your pussy feels so good, otherwise I would’ve left already.”

“No!” You cried out, “Please Rin! Don’t stop, it feels so good!” You gave him a pleading look and tried moving your hips, just for a hand to smack the tender flesh of your ass, it was a warming to remain still. You’ve never been this bold before, why were you acting so different? Was it the effects of the blunt? Being railed in the middle of a party, where anyone could barge in at any moment?

“So you know your place, good.” you didn’t know it was possible to feel better than what you’re currently feeling, but Suna proved it was possible when he began pounding you harder, nearly pulling out his whole member until only the tip remained inside before slamming back against your abused hole.

He couldn’t take his eyes off your body, of the soft jiggling of your ass whenever he slammed back against it, the loud slapping of your skin, the way you moaned whenever he brushed against your cervix. It was too good, and he needed to preserve that image.

Your arm was released abruptly, and you quickly pulled it back to hold onto something else as the same warm feeling from before began spreading again, sending goosebumps through your whole body. If that wonderful feeling and the music hadn’t been a distraction, you would have heard the low beep of a smartphone filming everything. 

It started out at the spot where you both were connected, capturing the uncontrollable clenching of your cunt around Suna’s cock, the lewd mixture of your moans, grunts, the slapping of sweaty skin and one of the most vulgar songs to ever exist, slowly the camera went over those red marks all over your ass and hips, until it stopped at the back of your head, and the locks of hair bouncing around with each thrust.

“You look beautiful, Cinderella.” Suna cooed. “I wonder what They’d do if They knew you were with me right now.” He hissed in delight when you clenched tighter around him. “What would mommy and daddy think of you?” 

Anyone else would have cringed from thinking about their parents in the middle of sex, but Suna’s words stirred something twisted inside you. A wicked being yearning to make your parent’s life miserable and make them pay for everything.

Every single memory came back in a flash. From the memories of elementary school, where they expected nothing but the best but couldn’t bother to attend the school plays to the incident at college. 

That was the last straw, and the exact same reason why you sneaked out to this party to begin with, even borrowing an outfit from your friend that was perfect for the occasion. And look where that got you, to one hell of a good experience. Probably the first time you’ve been able to be yourself, not just a trophy child to be bragged about during Christmas dinner.

The same creature wanting to feed off your parent’s wrath kept whispering sweet nothings in your ear, sinister thoughts hidden behind honeyed words, craving to watch the world burn beneath your feet….In the end, not a single effort was ever enough to please your parent’s expectations...so, why bother?

Fuck it...Fuck it all.

“Harder, please fuck me harder Rin! Your cock feels amazing!” Suna blinked once, then twice, scoffing in amusement by the sudden twist in your mood, but who was he to complain? His phone was quickly shoved aside and ignored, not even remembering to stop filming as he leaned over your body. 

Those hard muscles you had been craving to touch were pressed firmly against your back, his toned arms resting around your head, and the chance to feel them up was certainly not missed.

With this angle, he reached places inside you that felt like the physical embodiment of paradise. Drool, sweat and tears covered your entire face when he found that one spot that took away your breath, and he began abusing it repeatedly. He too started getting closer to his release, and buried his face into your hair with a growl. His pace wavered bit….but he was so close, and so were you, judging from the desperation as you chanted his name over and over.

“Where do you want me to cum, my little whore? In you- Fuck! in your pussy? Your mouth? Your pretty pucker? I’ll put it wherever you want.”

That was it, you couldn’t take it anymore. Just thinking of it sent you over the edge. Your walls clamped down on his cock with such force that Suna had to stop moving. He would’ve loved to keep going for a little longer, but he couldn’t take it either.

“Rin!” With the last cry of his name, he pushed his whole body against yours, dropping his whole weight down as he finally came,  coating your insides with spurt after spurt of warm cum. Nothing seemed to matter as you laid on the soiled piece of furniture, trying to catch your breath in a dark room reeking of sex, sweat and weed.

It felt like an eternity had passed when Suna finally moved away and pulled out, watching in satisfaction as his cum began leaking, running down over your folds, your clit, eventually dripping down on the furniture with every spasm of your body.

The one thing that caught him off guard was when you hid your face away from him and began trembling in place, muffling some sniffles with the aid of the cushion. The fact you began crying caught him off guard for a moment, until your face turned to the side. And rather than crying, you were actually giggling like a mad woman.

You couldn’t stop that giddy smile. Cheeks burning furiously from everything you felt in that moment. For once in your life, you had the chance to experience freedom in the most intoxicating ways, and you wouldn’t change it for anything else.

“Everything okay, Cinderella?”

“Ahahaha...Yeah…” You turned over and laid on your back shortly after the laughter finally ceased, and turned back to him to watch that familiar joint between his fingers.

“Everything’s fine.”

Taglist: @hawks-senseis @honeytama @wakaoujisenhime @iwaasfairy @shoutogepi @gr0vndz3ro @xplosiveboy @shinsotired

[thedragonnerd]

Ficlet: Forgiveness (Namaari)

(tw: lil bit of violence. Finally managed to finish this!)

The Council of Kumandra has finally arrived at an agreement on article 7, clause 15 of a mutually beneficial trade agreement, when Benja raises his hand, and calls for a break in proceedings.

‘Now is a time for feasting,’ he says, ushering the Council members away from the chamber, and Raya could almost weep in relief. Her boredom had been so intense during the last thirty minutes of the meeting, it took all she had not to fall asleep right in the middle of negotiations.

She pulls herself out of her chair slowly, aiming to be the last to leave the room as she allows the visiting dignitaries to file out ahead of her - sometimes, playing the role of a good host can be exhausting. Her stomach is beginning to rumble loudly, but she’s torn between going to hunt for a plate of food first, or going to search for Namaari, who had been helping to represent Fang’s interests at this meeting, and hence had to sit with their party rather than next to Raya, where they can usually whisper back and forth on all sorts of ridiculous topics.

Although she hides it well, Raya has noticed Namaari struggles sometimes with attending meetings in other lands, especially in Heart where there are curious looks, or sometime downright hostile glares towards her and the rest of the Fang delegation.

It’s with this thought in mind that Raya stumbles out of the room and towards the distant hum of people already congregating for dinner. She bypasses the array of mouth-watering dishes however, nodding at her Ba as he catches her eye. He’s deep in conversation with Chief Virana, so she decides to avoid disturbing them, and focuses on scanning the room with a singular purpose in mind. She cannot see Namaari anywhere, but before she can venture forth to search other parts of the palace, Sisu bumps her shoulder gently.

‘Raya, my girl!’ she says, body curling around Raya slightly, and nose poking against Raya’s cheek. ‘What’s making you so distracted? Was it that long boring meeting? Cos I have to say, I totally dozed off for most of it, so I sure hope Pranee spoke up for us…’

Raya tunes her out slightly as she resumes her searching of the crowd, hoping to see Namaari’s broad shoulders somewhere in the room, until a soft ‘thwack’ of a paw lands on her arm, Sisu’s claws tapping gently on her skin.

‘Raya?’

‘Sisu, have you seen Namaari anywhere?’ Raya asks. ‘I haven’t been able to find her.’

‘Oh, she went outside a few minutes ago,’ Sisu proclaims, flicking her tail in the general direction of the door that leads to the gardens. ‘She said she wanted some fresh air or something.’

‘Thanks, Sisu!’ Raya calls absently over her shoulder, already heading for the exit. The negotiations had gone on for so long that dusk is beginning to fall, and a light breeze sweeps through her hair as the summer heat fades away. Lanterns flicker on as she hurries down the pathway that she assumes Namaari’s taken. Usually if everything gets too much, and Namaari feels overwhelmed, she tends to hide with her serlot for a while. There’s no reason she shouldn’t be there, perfectly fine and safe, but for some reason there is an anxious knot in Raya’s chest…a feeling that she needs to find Namaari now, just to be sure.

As she rounds a corner, she hears raised voices in the distance, and squinting her eyes, she spies a group up ahead. There are five young men – warriors, dressed in the clothes of Heart, Talon and Tail – and they are talking loudly and angrily at a sixth person, their hands already grasping their swords. Raya knows it is Namaari before she even sees the figure dressed in white, boxed in by the men with a large rock wall at her back.

‘’Maari!’ she calls, hastening her steps, but the people before her are too engrossed in their showdown to hear. From the direction of her approach, the men’s backs are turned to her anyway, and whilst she can see Namaari’s face, the other woman has all her focus trained on the threat.

She doesn’t want to spark a fuse by racing in unannounced if Namaari has it under control, but as she hurries along the path towards them, she sees one of the men take a step forwards, waving his sword around dangerously as he continues to shout. Five against one is not exactly fair odds, but Raya knows Namaari can handle herself well in a fight – indeed, has been on the receiving end of some of those punches both in battle and on the training grounds. If something is about to go down, she’s confident that Namaari will be able to hold them off long enough for her to arrive and join the fight.

She’s almost upon the group when it happens. Namaari grasps her two swords, pulling them out with casual ease, and then…she throws them down by her feet, her chin raised proudly. Raya’s blood runs cold as she watches the ringleader lash out, kicking Namaari down to the ground.

‘’Maari, get up!’ she cries out, sprinting the last few steps.

Everything seems to occur simultaneously. Namaari’s eyes widen as she sees Raya for the first time, her hand reaching out as if to stop her from coming closer, whilst several of the group begin to turn around at the sound of Raya’s voice. But Raya only has her sight set on the leader, as his arm raises and she sees a flash of metal swinging down towards Namaari. She desperately launches her own sword towards him, hoping Namaari won’t be caught in the crossfire, and its extended blade wraps around his, pulling his arm back abruptly.

Raya slides across the ground, foot kicking out at the two nearest opponents, and she can see them tumble down out the corner of her eye as she spins around, flinging her into the fight. She’s a skilled combatant herself, with years of being out on the road and having to watch her own back, and she manages to draw blood in the first few seconds of facing down a now rather surprised looking ringleader. But as soon as one goes down, there are two more circling around her. The men are all trained warriors themselves, and she realizes with a jolt that she recognizes several of them, especially those from Heart, making her reluctant to take a kill strike.

One moment of distraction by someone managing to slice her left arm means she is vulnerable, and in the next moment she lands heavily on her back, the breath knocked out of her. The Talon man peers down at her with an ugly twist to his smile, and there is a flash of a weapon coming towards her face before twin blades thrust into view, blocking his attack.

Namaari grasps her wrist, pulling her up with one hand, and then they are fighting back-to-back, a team of flashing swords and bloodied knuckles. Their opponents have no chance, and the five men lie on the ground with various wounds before Raya can even take a deep breath.

‘What were you binturis thinking?’ Raya feels the rage burning inside her as she looks at their prone forms. The ringleader – a warrior from Heart, she is shocked to see – spits blood onto the dirt, and then snarls up at her with red-stained teeth.

‘She’s the one that destroyed the world,’ he croaks, gesturing towards Namaari. ‘And yet now you welcome her here to our lands with open arms? After everything she’s done? We demand blood for blood.’

Six years of surviving alone during the reign of the Druun has made Raya observant and fast with her reflexes; as he pulls out his crossbow and begins to raise it towards Namaari, she has already lifted her foot, stamping down hard enough to feel the satisfying *crack* of his fingers under her heel.

‘No, you almost destroyed the world right now,’ she hisses, a white-hot rage sweeping through her mind. ‘You almost destroyed Kumandra and the peace we’ve sought for so long, with your inability to let go of the past and refusal to remember she also helped save this land.’

Her hand clenches in a fist, and she moves to lunge down for another punch to his face. A muscled arm curls around her waist instead, hauling her upright.

‘It’s alright, Raya,’ Namaari says softly, pulling Raya’s back against herself. ‘He’s not worth it.’

Raya is about to say exactly how worth it she thinks it would be, when they are suddenly surrounded by Ba, Virana, Sisu and other concerned guests, who have followed the sounds of the commotion.

--

Later, they are sat on Raya’s bed in silence.

‘Let me at least deal with that,’ Namaari breaks the stand-off, nodding her chin towards Raya’s arm, where the thin scratch still bleeds sluggishly.

‘I’m still angry at you,’ Raya says grumpily, but shuffles sideways slightly so that Namaari can have easier access to the wound. Namaari says nothing in response, leaving instead to collect up some bandages and a damp cloth, and when she returns, she focuses on cleaning the cut with precise focus.

‘It won’t need stitches,’ she murmurs as she wraps the clean bandage around Raya’s arms, her fingers gentle but firm in their actions. ‘I’m sorry you got hurt for me.’

‘Namaari, do you know why I’m angry?’ Raya interrupts the moment, ducking her head so that their eyes meet for the first time since dealing with the aftermath of the attack. Namaari holds her gaze for a moment, before her eyes slide away to fix on a point somewhere over Raya’s shoulder.

‘That man from Talon…Raya, his wife died in a Druun attack. Not turned to stone, but was actually killed in the chaos. Same for one of your own citizens – he told me his brother had drowned trying to swim away from the Druun in the initial attack. How do you expect me to hear that, and not…’

‘Not what, Namaari? Not hand yourself over for execution, or whatever they wanted to do?’ Raya is unimpressed. ‘Not everything is your fault, you stubborn binturi. And I refuse to let you become some sort of martyr due to some misguided quest for forgiveness.’

Her voice is raised slightly by the end, but one look at Namaari’s troubled face has her sighing deeply. She reaches out instead to wrap her arms around Namaari’s shoulders, pulling her into an embrace despite the stiff muscles she feels under her hands.

‘I wish sometimes that you’d simply forgive yourself,’ she confesses softly, the words coming easily. ‘But until then, I guess I’ll just keep reminding you instead.’

She feels arms tentatively rise up and wrap around her waist, and in response, she tucks her face in against the crook of Namaari’s neck. They sit embracing in silence for a long time.

[hoboal87]

In Secret

Title: In Secret

Pairing: Jensen x F!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Jensen have been in a secret relationship for five years, and she wants more.

Warnings: Angst, Affair, Open Relationship, Oral (F receiving), Implied Smut, Jensen Is A Bit Of An Ass

A/N: This is my entry for @winchesterxfamilybusiness​ “Make Me Swoon” writing challenge!  My prompt is “I’m tired of being your secret.” 

A/N 2: Y’all, I never expected such an overwhelming positive response to this one-shot! This will soon be a multi-part series, I’ve already started working on the next part, but I don’t know if I’ll get anything posted before Elastic Heart is complete. 

A/N 3: THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS COMMENTED/REBLOGGED/ASKED TO BE TAGGED!

No Beta all mistakes are mine.

The air is thick around you, the smell of sex filling every inch of your room. You could die just like this, here, with the man you love, holding you tight against him as you both come down from your highs. He rolls you both over, his hand gently rubbing over your stomach, inching down to your sore and swollen pussy. You groan when he dips a finger into wet heat.

“I love cumming in you,” he whispers, gently biting at your ear, and you can feel his smile. “Wish I could do it every day.” He starts pumping his finger, tightening the coil again, and you bite back another moan.

“Mmm,” you hum as he sinks another finger in, his thumb brushes over your clit. You reach behind you, palming his half-hard cock. “You could, y'know.”

The atmosphere between you changes in an instant, he huffs, and pulls away from you, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. You should’ve known this is how he would react, every time you breach the subject it always ends the same way. The guilt you both feel, the lying, all of it comes to the surface, rearing its ugly head.

“Just tell her,“ you beg as he leaves your bed. "That’s the whole point of your agreement, isn’t it?” He doesn’t respond, reaching down to grab his once hastily discarded jeans off the floor. “She gets to fuck whoever she wants and so do you.”

“This is different, Y/N. You know that,” he sighs and steps into his jeans.

“Why?” You sit up, using the sheet to keep yourself covered. “Tell me, Jensen. Why is this different? Why is okay for her to think that your out fucking some random girl instead of me?”

“Y/N,” Jensen turns around, his emerald eyes staring you down. “It’s more complicated than that. We-” he gestures between you, “we have a history. You don’t think she knows about our past?”

“Our past?” You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks. “We were friends. There’s nothing in our past, we didn’t even start any of this until after you two were together. You had years- years Jay, to do something about that. You knew how I felt about you, but instead you jumped from girl to girl and I was the one who had to put you back together, she doesn’t get to take all the credit.”

This isn’t the first time you’ve had this fight with Jensen. Every time they go on hiatus you beg him to stay just a few days longer, knowing that it would be almost two months before he’d be back. You know deep down that it isn’t fair, he spends nine months out of the year in Vancouver, and when he’s here it’s almost like you’re a normal couple. Almost. You and Jensen couldn’t go out in public, not even as “friends,” all it would take was one ill-timed photo to throw both of your worlds into utter chaos.

Being the other woman came with its own set of rules. When it all started you were just happy to be able to be with him, even if that meant it began and ended at the threshold of your home. When you were together you were the only two people in the world, you didn’t discuss her or the fact that she was pregnant. You, in particular, were allowing yourself to live in ignorant bliss cherishing everything he had to give you. You never thought you were the type of person who’d be having an affair with anyone, let alone Jensen, but you can’t help yourself from falling into bed with him every time he comes over.

You’d gone to high school together, and for four years you waited patiently for him to ask you out on a date. Instead, he dated one of your friends, biting your tongue when he told you about their relationship ending; you knew it wouldn’t last.

You went your separate ways after high-school, you’d stayed in Texas to go to college, and he’d gone off to Hollywood, you’d kept in touch through the years. Reconnecting when you’d moved to Vancouver for your job. It started out as harmless flirting, double entendres, and teasing.

The first time you slept together it wasn’t something either of you had planned. She was in L.A. working on her latest movie, and you were still on the rebound from your latest break-up. It was a night of too many drinks and loneliness drove your actions. You kept your distance from each other in the weeks that followed, sorting out your feelings, unsure if it was a one-time drunken mistake or the start of something real.

The second time you were both sober. He’d come over to discuss what happened; how he would never cheat on her, he was in love with her, he wanted to marry her. You tried to understand, Jensen was always a fantasy, someone who you could never have. You didn’t want to ruin your friendship with him over sex. You both agreed to put it behind you, never discuss it again, “pretend it never happened,” he insisted. It nearly killed you, but you nodded hesitantly.

He reached out to squeeze your knee, and you made your way towards the front door. You fidgeted with your hands as you entered the front walkway, not wanting him to leave. There was a hesitation as Jensen reached for the doorknob, and you pulled him in for a hug, melting your body into him. Before you knew what was happening, your lips were on his, wanting, needing more. He had you caged against the wall, hands pawing at you, lifting you up, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist and he ground himself against you. His mouth never left yours as he carried you to your bedroom, dropping you playfully on the bed.

Jensen rid himself of his shirt while you shed your own, desperate to have his skin against yours. The first time was messy, rushed, this time you wanted to take your time, appreciate every moment that you were having with him. He placed sweet wet kisses over your breasts, making his way down, tugging at your jeans to expose your soaked panties. You lifted your hips as he hooked his fingers around them, pulling them along with your jeans down, tossing them onto the floor.

Jensen placed gentle kisses on the inside of your thighs, you could feel him smiling against your skin as he moved towards your aching pussy. His eyes met yours, giving you a final chance to stop him. “Please, Jay,” you murmured. Each swipe of his tongue was pure ecstasy, you reached down for him, holding his face closer to you.

You try to clench your legs around him, but he keeps them apart, eyes flicking up at you as you fall apart. He continues his assault on your cunt, removing one hand, and teasing you with his finger. You groaned as it slid through your folds up to your clit, pressing down as his tongue fucked into you. Unable to make any intelligible sounds, you heard a low chuckle come from him as two fingers entered your weeping hole.

He pumped them fast, spurring you on as you felt the coil tightening. You felt yourself clenching around him and you breathing grew heavier, his fingers finding your sweet spot, brushing it again and again as his mouth focused on your bundle of nerves. You lost all control of yourself when he added a third finger, cumming hard on his face.

“Fuck,” you moaned as he pulled away. He climbed up your body, placing wet kisses over you until he was hovering above you. His cock was hard and ready, precum leaking from the tip, you gently wrapped your hand around him, and he let out a soft groan as you slowly began to pump him. He kissed you passionately and you could taste the release of your climax on his lips.

“I love you, Jay,” you whimper. It wasn’t something you were ever planning on admitting to him, or to yourself, but you couldn’t stop the words from leaving. “I’ve always loved you.”

“I love you too, Y/N,” he whispered in your ear as you guided him towards your entrance. Jensen’s eyes bore deep into you, studying your face as you took in his words.

“Please, Jay,” you begged, “fuck me.”

Jensen doesn’t move; you know he doesn’t have an answer.

“I’m tired of being your secret,” you huff. “It’s been five years.”

“Goddammit, Y/N!” He shouts, throwing his hands into his hair. “She’s my wife, the mother of my children. You want me to throw it all away?”

You try to stammer out a response, but he continues, pacing in front your bed.

“You act like this is easy for me, it isn’t. I told you after that second time, I’m never going to leave her. You said you could accept that. That’s the only reason we continued this. She’s paranoid enough about you as it is, and you want me to tell her that we’ve been sleeping together for the past five years, how do you think that will make her feel?”

“How will it make her feel?” you scoff. “What about how I feel? My feelings don’t matter?”

“That’s not what I said, Y/N.”

“I’ve kept my feelings to myself for years, Jay. I’ve tried to be understanding, I haven’t asked you for anything. I don’t push the subject, but I’m tired, Jay.”

He paces in front of you, muttering to himself.

“I want you, Jay, you’re all I’ve ever wanted,” you whisper, it’s something you both know, but you never planned to say it out loud. “I broke up with Steven for you.”

“He never deserved you, sweetheart,” he says, and a smile creeps upon your face. For a moment you think that he’ll admit that he wants more with you.

"You never like anyone I date, Jay,” you chuckle slightly, “I think it because you’re jealous.”

Jensen’s body stiffens, and you know immediately that he doesn’t like your joke. He grabs his shirt off the dresser and pulls it over his head before storming out of the room.

“Jensen, babe, I was just-” you follow him out, quickly pulling on a camisole and yoga pants, not bothering with underwear. “Jay, it was a joke.”

“We both know it wasn’t Y/N,“ he snaps back and your smile quickly fades. "You think I like watching you parade with some douche? You wanna slut around with some fuckin’ prick, I ain’t gonna stop you.”

“You don’t get to talk to me like that, Jay,” you hiss. “You don’t get to act like some jealous boyfriend. You’ve made it very clear just now, that I am not your girlfriend or whatever you wanna call this.”

“You’re right, babygirl, I’m not,” he huffs, “and I’m never going to be. I’m never going to be yours, Y/N. If I wanted that, I would’ve made my move a long time ago.” Jensen’s words are like stabs to your heart, and you try to conceal the tears forming in your eyes. “I chose her over you, I’ll always choose her over you.”

There’s a flash of regret playing on his face. There they were; the words that you knew were coming sooner or later. You’d hoped he’d never say them, that the two of you could go on the way you had been for years in denial. He remains stoic as you use every ounce of willpower to not break down in front of him.

"We’re never gonna be more than this, Y/N,” he says softly. “You have to know that.”

“Y'know Jay, if you wanted this to stay casual,” you wipe the tears away, “all you had to do was say so. You’re so concerned about her, but she’s in Austin ‘slutting around’ as you delicately put it, sleeping with who knows how many people-”

“Shut the fuck up, Y/N!” Jensen screamed, and your heart fell into your stomach. He’s never yelled at you like this before, you pushed him too far this time, letting your own jealousy take over. “Don’t talk about what goes on in my relationship with my wife. She is nothing like you, she doesn’t spread her legs every time someone gives her the time of day.”

“You fucking asshole!” You yell, picking up everything that you could get your hands on, and throwing it at him. “Get the fuck out!”

“Y/N,” he tries to reason with you, blocking himself from the barrage of items being thrown at him. “Baby, listen.”

“No!” You push him towards the front door and he stumbles backwards into the hallway.

“Y/N,” Jensen reaches out to soothe you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t- I didn’t mean it.”

“Don’t touch me,” you slap his hand away. “You’re never gonna touch me again,” you push him again, moving him closer to the door. “You can go back to your perfect wife, your perfect family. Congratulations, Jay. You don’t have to choose. We’re done.”

Part 2

[literaila]

the agony of sanity: chapter one.

“the ghost of goosebumps”

spencer x reader 

summary: in every instance, there must be a choice. control or pain? stay or leave? help or let them go? 

warnings: fluff, angst, criminal mind stuff, s12 spoilers, italics represent a memory, slight emily x reader 

a/n: okay. here it is. first chapter of many to come. i hope you enjoy it. 

*

It wasn't something she needed to think about anymore. 

It wasn't a scar that she needed to open up. That wound was old, forgotten in the chaos of the years she had spent building herself up. It had disappeared as she got busier and busier. 

She didn't think of it anymore.

She could walk around feeling completely normal. Feeling like she could do anything. She could walk around and see couples and not have to wonder if that was how they used to look. She could walk around with a smile on her face, she could appreciate the finer things in life. 

She didn't use to be able to. She felt like everything was crumbling under her, crashing down until she went with it, until she was covered in a pile of rubble, until she was buried under the weight of the things she didn't need to think about anymore. 

She didn't think about it anymore. Didn't want to, didn't need to. 

She’d moved on. She was changed. 

She no longer stayed up late at night, no longer had those dreams. The ones that didn't really feel like sleep. The ones where she would sweat until her cold house felt like a sauna and no longer a place of rest. Those dreams that made her get up out of bed, get up out of her head until she couldn't see those pictures that flashed through her head anymore. 

She didn't have those types of dreams anymore. 

She went to work every day, smiled at everyone, laughed at all the right times. She didn't have to play pretend or close herself off. She was a completely different person, one that was in control of everything she did. Everything she felt. 

She didn't need to think about him. She didn't need to wonder how he was doing. In fact, she didn't wonder. She never thought of him. He was erased in her memory, a blank spot where something used to be. 

So, she never thought about it anymore. 

She went on with her day, lived her life as well as she could. She reminded herself that she only had a limited amount of days. She reminded herself that even if it seemed like a lifetime, it would be over eventually, and she should appreciate it as long as it lasted. After all, the days were counting down. 

She didn't need to waste time thinking about him, about anything related to the life she used to live, anymore. She didn't have that kind of time. 

She rarely thought of it. She never did. She was in control. 

Until that phone call. 

*

Sun rested against her skin. A song playing in her head. 

It was one she heard on the radio earlier, something that caught her ear as soon as she’d turned the volume up. She didn't know the name. Just the tune, just the part that kept replaying in her head. 

It seemed appropriate, to have a song like this one- popular and upbeat -stuck in her head while she sat fresh in the sun, absorbing all the warmth she could get. It was appropriate that she was hitting replay on the one thing she could control that day. 

Spencer was behind her, his chest a warm blanket against her back. 

She was pretty sure that he was smiling. She felt like he was. He didn't have any reason not to be, there was no reason why there would be that frown she’d seen so many times on his face there. No reason to be upset on a day like this. On a day where the sun was shining, the wind was cooling off the burns that they had already developed on their cheeks. No reason to be upset when everything was perfect. 

With a song like this stuck in your head. 

“Cold?” He wondered. 

She laughed as his breath tickled her ear, the wind blowing between the two of them. 

She shook her head, comforted by his hand running up and down her thigh. While she laid in the sun. 

“It's warm. Why would I be cold?” She whispered back, her voice taken by the wind. The two of them sighing into the relieving cool that came with the wind. 

Spencer kissed her temple, moved back so that she could lean against him. 

“You’ve got goosebumps,” he said, moving his hand so that it was running over the bumps that lathered her arms. 

She shook her head again, following his motion with her eyes, now sure of the smile on his face. 

“I’m not cold.” 

Spencer hummed out an unfamiliar sound to her ears, so unlike him on any other day. 

“Are you experiencing a strong emotion?” he asked, rubbing circles on her forearm, his fingertips only taking part in the goosebumps that continued to stay stuck to her skin. 

She laughed, smiling up at the sun, appreciating the wind that was lifting the sweat from her neck. It was windy today. 

“Shock?” Spencer continued his question, using the hand that wasn't on her arm to play with the strap of her tank top. “Fear?” 

“What?” she whispered back, her mind almost completely captured by his fingertips brushing against her skin. 

It was like he was painting a picture like she was his canvas. Like he was using her to make art. Like they were making it together.

“Strong emotions can cause the small muscles on your arm near the hair follicle to contract,” he said as if it was obvious, like she should have known already. “So if you’re not cold… is it shock? Fear?” 

Something about the way he was talking, about the way he was painting with his fingertips, something about the wind. It was all a harmony to the melody in her head. 

“Nope,” she popped, laughing when she could feel him stop his motions. 

“Anxiety?” he asked, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. 

A breathless noise came out of her mouth, her head shaking once again. 

“Inspiration?” 

She laughed as he kissed lower down her neck. “Inspiration?” she implored with disbelief. 

“Yeah,” Spencer whispered, continuing to kiss down her neck. His hand still firm on her arm, his other on her shoulder. 

“No, not inspiration,” she replied, tilting her neck so that he would continue. 

He stopped for a brief moment, and even though she couldn't see it, she knew that he was looking at her with curious eyes. 

“Sexu-” before he could finish his sentence, she was turning around, moving his hands from her body. Stopping him before he could continue. 

She laughed at his face. Her goosebumps gone. 

And then, she kissed his nose. And got up. Out of his reach. 

She cackled at the look on his face. 

Running towards the sun. 

*

“Emily?” she croaked, her voice stumbling out of sleep. 

She looked over to the clock by her bedside table, the three little numbers flashing as she looked around. It was still dark outside. It was too cold in her apartment.

“Do you know what time it is?” She asked when there was no response, lifting her phone from her ear to check and see if Emily was still on the line. To make sure that it wasn't just a mistake. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

Y/N used one of her hands to rub her eyes, curious at the way Emily’s voice sounded. It sounded like she was sighing. Like she was really tired. Y/N couldn't remember what time it was in Virginia. 

“Do you need something?” she asked, trying to wring out the sleep from her body as she stood out of bed. Her room was a mess, clothes from the previous night lathered across the floor. She stepped around them in hopes to get to her kitchen. So that she could get some coffee. 

Emily never called at night, but the occasional times she did, it was usually to ask a question. Or because she needed a friend. Y/N wasn't expecting to go back to bed any time soon, even if it was only four in the morning. It was late enough to get up anyway, wasn't it? 

“Y/N,” Emily spoke for the second time, her voice more desperate. Serious. 

Y/N’s eyebrows creased, she wished she could see the other girl so that she could fully gage her emotions. So that she knew what was going on. She could tell that this wasn't going to be one of their fun chats, Emily wasn't calling just to catch up. 

“What's wrong Em?” she wondered, genuine worry slipping out. 

“Spencer’s in prison.” 

The words took her by surprise. They were sudden and unexpected. Y/N took a moment for her eyes to widen. Let herself hear the unfamiliar name, one she hadn't heard from anyone in years. It felt strange to listen to someone else speak it. She felt her heart clutter, moving against her ribs more forcibly than it had before. 

She paused, the silence on the phone apparent to both of them. 

And then, she took a deep breath, told herself not to ask, not to say the words. Not to think about it. She rolled her eyes. Let her emotions roll through her body. 

“What did he do?” she said, not masking the borderline irritation in her voice. 

“Y/N!” Emily sighed, and Y/N could practically see her friend rubbing a hand over her eyes. Though she wasn't going to act like she didn't mean it. “He didn't do anything.” Emily’s voice was harsher now, forceful. Like she was scolding Y/N. 

“Emily, you hear that someones in prison and try not to ask what they did!” She defended herself, moving around her kitchen with her phone pressed against her cheek and shoulder as she got a pot of coffee started. It was far too earlier for her to be kind, and far too early for this information. “And whatever's going on with Reid, I hope it works out, I really do Emily, but why are you calling me again?” 

The name felt strange in her mouth. Like it was something she’d never tried before. She was smart enough to make her voice sound sincere, to not let her annoyance at Emily slip out. 

“I need you, Y/N,” Emily whispered, her voice small and pleading. And suddenly it all made sense to Y/N. 

And- 

No. 

Y/N wasn't doing this. Not today. 

Emily knew what she was going to say, she knew what the response would be. That's why she was using that voice. That desperate voice. Emily already knew her answer. 

“No, Emily,” Y/N said, shaking her head fast and hard, blinking rapidly as she tried to come up with a better response. She couldn't go back, and she definitely couldn't help Emily with this. She wasn't going to. 

“No listen Y/N, this is Spencer, Spencer who’s being charged with murder. And I know how you feel about him, but I’m asking you to forget about your feelings, and think about the man that is going to die in prison alone.” 

She didn't utter a word, wincing at the thought of Spencer in prison. Hating Emily for bringing this up. 

“Emily…” 

“I’m asking you for a favor Y/N. You and I both know that you’re the best person, one of the only people I know that can help with this. I can handle all of the travel fee’s, all of the vacation time. I can even get someone to cover for you at work! I can get everything else solved.” Emily paused, quieter as she continued, “I just need you to come and help.” 

It scared Y/N, to think about going back to the place she had vowed to never return. It scared her to open old wounds again. To hear the fear in Emily’s voice, Emily who was so much stronger than anyone Y/N had ever met.

She walked around her small apartment, and didn't notice the sun rising from her window. Her brain was trying to wrap around all of the things Emily had just said. Trying to make a decision that wouldn't hurt either of them.  

How could she even help with this, how would she stand helping him with this when she forbid herself from ever thinking about him? How could she even make a difference? 

“Y/N?” Emily whispered, the silence drawn out for too long. Her voice was worried, and although Emily seemed confident in her speech, Y/N knew that her friend was worried it wouldn't be enough to convince her. 

“I’m here.” She said, her voice breaking as she paused her walking. She sighed, running a hand over her face as she debated with herself. “I’m here.” she repeated. 

She could go, break little pieces of the person she had recreated off, and help Spencer. Help Emily, save all of them from the pain she knew would come if anything bad happened. Help them in some way that she didn't understand. 

Or she could stay, she could stick with going to work every day, with being the boss and in control of everything. She could stay in control of her emotions, of her thoughts, of her memories. And she could break Emily’s heart. She could be selfish. 

“Are you going to come?” 

Control or pain? 

Which was more important? 

Which to choose? 

“Y/N?” Emily asked again, clearly impatient. And Y/N understood it, she was worried. Y/N rationalized that if the cards were flipped, she would feel the same. She understood her friend's pain. 

She would feel the same. 

“Yes.” She whispered, taking a deep breath in. “Yes.” 

Pain. Pain was more important. 

“I’ll start packing now.” her brain froze, struck by the decision, by the situation she had just put herself in. “Tell me everything.” 

*

“Emily,” she breathed out as soon as the woman appeared in her eyesight. 

Seeing her was a huge relief, a breath of fresh air. Since Y/N had landed in Virginia she’d had a strange feeling in her stomach, one that resembled nostalgia, and another that was most definitely nausea. 

It was strange to be back in a place that she had once called home. Strange that she was alone from the first step she took in the state. It was a terrible feeling to bed back here. To be back in such a familiar place. 

But, even if she was frustrated with Emily for making her do this, for calling in her favor in such a harsh way, it was still good to see her friend. 

They’d known each other for years, their initial introduction starting when they were both agents at the BAU. Back then, they weren't the closest of friends. Of course, they had no issue with each other, but both of them had always found it hard to become best friends with someone you caught serial killers with. 

But, as soon as Y/N couldn't stay in Quantico any longer, as soon as she needed to get away, she’d called Emily. And she’d asked for her help. 

They’d worked together at Interpol for several years until Emily moved back to Virginia, taking over the BAU team, and Y/N became the boss of their team. 

And they’d become best friends here, each other's support. They spent days off in each other's apartments, drinking wine and laughing at romantic comedies that they both secretly loved but hated. They slept in the same bed, trying to rid the other of nightmares. It was a close relationship they’d developed, one that they swore they would lose when Emily moved. 

When they got to each other, Y/N and Emily shared a brief hug, and a laugh no matter the circumstances, and then they were walking up to Emily’s office. It was dark outside, her plane arriving in the middle of the night. Emily said that she could meet the team the next day when they were awake, trying to lighten the mood. 

It didn't work. 

Y/N wished they could’ve been meeting together for better reasons. 

“Okay,” she said as soon as she sat in front of Emily, files thrown across her desk, clear distress on every piece of paper. “I need to know what advantages we have in his case. I want to get a clear view of what I can and can't use,” she announced as she sat down, ignoring her body's pleading for rest. If she was going to help Emily, she was going to start as soon as she could. 

Starting sooner meant leaving sooner. 

Emily went flipped through some papers, nodding along with Y/N as she searched for something. 

“Here’s all the evidence we have from the crime scene, Spencer’s statement should be in there.” the stack of paper was smaller than Y/N had expected, and she felt herself worried just looking at it. 

Emily had briefed Y/N on the case over the phone while she was packing. Y/N knew all the basics. Spencer had been in Mexico, trying to find something for his mother, and was framed for murder. Emily was very sure that it was an act of an unsub they had been hunting down, Mr. Scratch, who seemed to have it out for all of them. 

The two of them read through the papers, despite Emily being already familiar with everything in them. They sat in silence for multiple minutes, neither of them having anything interesting to bring up, nothing either of them could say when all the clear answers were thrown out in front of them. 

And those answers were that there was nothing. The crime scene pointed at Spencer. Everything in the evidence seemed to match up with Spencer. Whoever had framed him had clearly thought it out. 

Y/N sighed, rubbing her eyes and looking up at Emily, who looked exhausted frankly. Y/N empathized with her. Understanding more than she wanted to.

“Did Reid have a drug screen?” 

Emily nodded, handing her another file. “He did, but by the time they took it all of the drugs had metabolized in his system.” 

“Shit,” Y/N whispered, scanning the screening, confirming what Emily had said. “And you checked the scene for any evidence of drug residue?” 

“There was nothing found. Mr. Scratch has a pattern of intoxicating his victims using the vents, but there was nothing there.” 

Y/N dropped the file she was holding in her lap, looking at Emily who shared her expression. There was no evidence helping either of them. 

Y/N blew out a breath and then looked out the window. “Em, I’m going to be honest, it doesn't look good.” 

“I know,” Emily rubbed at her eyes. “That's why I called you.” 

Y/N looked back over to Emily, who winked at her then gave her a teasing smile. It was the first time the both of them had laughed that day. 

“Okay,” Y/N kept the smile on her face, brushed some hair from her eyes. “Here's what I think..” she started, taking a deep breath. “the only advantage Reid has here is the fact that he can't remember anything. This could clue into his intoxication, and also provides an inconsistency with the evidence. If he can't remember anything then there's still a missing piece.” 

Emily nodded, her eyes hopeful. 

“When can I meet with his lawyer?” Y/N asked, changing her train of thought.  

Emily looked confused, “I thought you were going to step in for his lawyer?” 

Y/N laughed, for a brief moment thinking Emily was joking. When she looked up from her laugh back at Emily she could see that she was wrong. “Oh you’re serious…” she paused, thinking. “Well, in Virginia you have to get your license recertified every year, and we don't have time for me to do that.” 

Emily looked down, checking her watch. 

“I can help his lawyer though.” Y/N finished, looking curiously at Emily. “What’re you doing?” she asked, noticing how distracted her friend got in the middle of her sentence. 

“It's very late, you probably haven't slept since getting on your flight. We should get some rest. Continue this in the morning.” Emily announced, standing up from her desk. This was a sudden topic change. It seemed like Emily was trying to push Y/N out of the office. She nodded, confused. 

Y/N followed, grabbing her bag. She walked with Emily out the door, not missing the slouch in her friend's posture, nor the silence that followed the two of them. She wondered if Emily was done hoping in anything coming of this, if what she said had decreased any hope Emly had. She told herself that she was probably just tired. 

But still, she had to say something. 

“Emily, it's going to be fine,” Y/N reassured, stopping by the door. And Emily nodded, but the silent question of ‘how?’ didn't escape either of their minds. 

Emily looked doubtful, but she still smiled at Y/N. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N.” she said finally, walking back to her office and leaving Y/N all alone, with that feeling.

*

“Hey Spence?” she called through the house, struggling to put her boots on as she got ready. 

There was no reply from the other room, where Spencer laid in bed, his eyes closed and his face scrunched up. It was dark all around their house, all of the lights turned off even when it was so dark outside. 

Spencer had been getting these headaches, ones that he said made everything look brighter. Ones that seemed to kill him from the inside out. In an effort to support him, Y/N had started getting used to walking around her house in the dark. She wasn't sure it was working. She wasn't sure if her efforts were making any difference. 

“You okay, love?” she called again, quieter now that she was closer to their room. 

She had a case to get to, one that would probably take longer than a couple of days. Hotch had demanded that Spencer stay home as long as he was still feeling sick. He didn't want Spencer out on the field with the possibility that a headache could hit him and he could get hurt. 

In all honesty, Y/N was relieved. Spencer did not seem up to leaving, and she wasn't sure how much help he would be even if he was there. Recently, he’d been more and more irritated with everyone, his emotions being thrown at all of them. It was starting to get intense, starting to worry Y/N, and she didn't want to have to think about it at work too. She didn't want to have to worry while there was a serial killer on the loose. 

Maybe that was wrong. 

Spencer didn't respond even when she walked into the room, he stayed under the covers, his body leaning away from her, his back facing their door. “Spence?” she whispered, walking closer to check and see if he was sleeping. 

Sleep might be good. Maybe he would feel better with some sleep. 

But when she heard a grunt from under the covers she sighed. She couldn't imagine how much pain he was in, and she had no idea how she could help. He’d been to the doctors, been prescribed pain medication that he would never take. There was nothing else either of them could do. 

“I’m leaving soon, is there anything you need before I go?” she whispered, sitting on her side of the bed, waiting for him to look at her. 

When Spencer peeked out from under the covers, his eyes were red and his hair was a mess. She wasn't sure how long it had been since he’d left bed, didn't know how much longer he could stand to stay in bed all day. 

“Coffee?” she asked, hoping to get a smile out of him when he didn't respond. 

But Spencer shook his head, not in the mood for jokes. He wasn't in the mood for anything. He didn't know why he couldn't get to sleep. 

Y/N sighed, watching him crawl back under the covers. 

“Okay,” she said standing up. There wasn't anything she could do anyway. “I’ll be home soon love, be careful.” she hoped that her words had made him feel comforted, that she was saying the right thing. 

When there was no response she walked towards the door. A frown developing on her face. 

This pain in her chest hit her. She wanted to see him smile at her again, she wanted him to kiss her goodbye. She wished he was going with her. 

But, he couldn't, he was sick and there was nothing that was helping. There was nothing she could do. 

Hopefully, he’d feel better as soon as she was home. Hopefully, he would be standing in the kitchen, drinking coffee and reading a book he’d read a million times before. Hopefully, he would smile at her again, cause goosebumps on her skin like he loved to do. 

Maybe he’d be better when she got home. 

She held onto that. 

*

She was going to have to think of it. 

It didn’t matter if it opened up that wound, split her scars in half, and ripped her heart from the cage of her ribs. She was going to have to think of it, that was clear. 

She hadn’t seen Spencer in four years, hadn’t mentioned his name aloud to anyone but herself. She removed him from her memory, burned all the pictures she had of the two of them, and limited any communication that could’ve been possible with him. She didn't want to see him four years ago, and she didn't want to see him now. 

She’d made her wishes perfectly clear with their shared friends, she didn't want to know how he was doing, she didn't want to know anything about him. She just wanted to move on, wanted to let herself heal so that she could go to better things. 

There were always better things to think about. 

But this thing between the two of them, this silence that they’d both kept up for years, it was clear that it was going to have to come to an end. 

She couldn't just stay away from him anymore, she wasn't thousands of miles away on a different continent. She wasn't the boss here in Virginia, she was just Y/N. The same girl that had left years ago. The same girl that could never control her emotions. 

She was going to have to think of it. 

No matter the consequences it had on her body, on her mind, on the emotions she had so carefully boarded up. She was going to have to relive this pain, she was going to have to move on from it. Move on as she should’ve years ago. 

She was terrified. Because, yes, she’d spent all these years alone. She had months to make peace, months to reinvent herself so that she wouldn't have to feel this small again. She’d had so much time to do something, anything that would change her from the person that she had been four years ago in Virginia. 

But she hadn't. She’d only closed off that part of her life. Stopped thinking about it. 

And she was going to have to face the consequences of that. 

Because she was there, at the prison, and she was getting signed in. 

It wasn't her first time at a prison. When she still worked with the bureau, she used to get sent in to interview serial killers once a month. She was always the person they sent to handle a particularly difficult subject. She was always the best at getting information out of people that didn't want to speak. It was part of the reason she had stuck with the FBI for so long, because they valued her and her skills. 

So no, she wasn't nervous to be walking into prison again. Even four years later she was familiar with all the procedures that it took to get her in. She was used to the grey walls still, the distant feeling that everyone seemed to get when walking in. 

It was visiting day, and she’d asked Emily if she could go and speak to Spencer first, before anyone else could tell him that she was there. They needed to make amends, and fast, because Y/N didn't know how long she could work on the case with these pent up feelings still stuck in her head, in her chest. 

She wasn't sure how Emily had gotten her past all of the restrictions for visitors, but she appreciated it. 

She was terrified. Not to be around murders, or other criminals, but to be around him again. After so long. 

Because now was the time, now she had to actually think about it. 

And she wasn't allowed to let it tear her apart. She wasn't allowed to run away this time. 

She’d profiled all of the guards there, the skills coming easy to her, as she waited for the inmates to be let into the visiting room. All of the men that worked in this prison seemed nonchalant, as most guards were. They didn't care much. She did notice though, the looks she got for being here. 

It was unusual for someone of her status to be in a prison. 

It was unusual for someone to be allowed in under the circumstances that Spencer was under. 

And, of course, government agents didn't usually get a warm welcome in prisons. 

It had been ten minutes since she sat down, waiting for him to show up, and she was starting to get restless. She was tired of this overwhelming anxiety building in her brain, and the longer she had to wait, the worse it would get. 

It was just Spencer. She had to remind herself of that. No matter how bad they had ended things, no matter how long it had been since they talked, it was only Spencer. Spencer, the man who could barely hurt a fly. 

He wasn't intimidating in the slightest. 

She had to remember that. 

For a brief moment, she wondered how he was doing, what prison was turning out to be like for him. If he wasn't intimidating to her, he certainly wouldn't be intimidating to the inmates. 

She winced when she thought of all the things that could happen to him. She turned off her brain, banning herself from thinking like that. 

She wasn't here to worry about him. She was here to help. To save her friends from that pain. 

She took a deep breath in, holding it for four seconds, exhaling for eight. Grounding herself like she was used to. Deep breath in, deep breath out. 

But she was interrupted by the loud beep of the door. By the men starting to walk into the room. 

One after one they walked in, most of them with a glare in their eyes, none of them had made direct eye contact with her, but even if they had, she didn't think she would have noticed. 

Because after twelve more seconds of waiting, and multiple men walking in a line, she saw him. 

And, this was the first time. It had been four years, and even though he hadn't changed much, her brain couldn't help but classify him as different in her head. Because he was, he looked different, looked changed from the last man she had known him as. 

Goosebumps, slithered their way up her arms, pouncing on her like she was their prey. She shivered as she looked at him. 

And she didn't like the look in his eyes when he saw her. 

She knew that he wasn't expecting her, that he would never have expected her to come back, especially not for him, especially not now. After four years, why would he ever expect her to be there, why would she ever come back. 

She wasn't supposed to be there, she wasn't even on his visitor's list. So how was she there, why was she there. 

He was shocked, and Y/N felt terrified when she saw him pause, when she saw his eyes glance back like he was going to run away from her, like he couldn't deal with her being there. But, he had held up the line, and she saw the inmate behind him push him. Too hard. 

She forgot for a moment that he was in prison. 

Spencer picked up his speed, continued walking toward her even with that look in his eyes. That one that let her know that this conversation wasn't going to be all that pleasant. 

And she barely recognized him. Barely recognized herself. Barely recognized the voice coming out of her mouth when he sat down in front of her with shocked eyes. 

She wondered if he had goosebumps. 

“Hey, Spence,” 

* 

chapter two

[dabiboy]

Idk if I requested this but hawks x reader where the reader and hawks both grew up in abuse and raised by the commision. ( there backstory ) and while there out on a mission hawks almost gets killed but the reader dwoop in and took the blow instead and that’s when he realises he’s been in love with her all this time idk it’s confusing ( however you want to do but the reader doesn’t die ) fluff ending please angst to fluff ;-; <333

Hi there! Well, the idea I had mixed these two requests, hope you don’t mind 😅

If anyone likes reading with music, I wrote this while listening this songs in the following order ‘Lost boy-Ruth B, When it's All Over by Raign, Call your name by Attack on Titan, Take Me Back to the Night We Met by Lord Huron and Hold on by Chord Overstreet.’ idk if it fits the timing, but yeah 😅

Always

''Shit, careful'' Hawks hissed when the cold compress made contact with his bruised cheekbone.

''If you don't stop moving is hard, you know'' You said, putting some pressure to reduce the pain.

''Fair point'' He remained silence for a while before a nostalgic smile appeared on his face ''This brings me memories'' you knew what he was talking about, and couldn't help but smile in the same way.

''Yeah, me too...''

Years before

Thunders and rain were the scenario for that cold night at the commission, but that didn't stop the training nor the classes during the day. However, the only thing you were waiting for was dinner time, the only moment of the day where you could hang out with all the different kids, but that special one. The kid with red wings, Hawks. The two of you became friends due to sad circumstances, when he had asked you where did you come from. Without even knowing him, he gave you the confidence you never felt, his eyes paying attention to you, nothing else, ready to listen and provide any help. You told him everything about you, about the abusive household, the bad treats and all that comes with it. His wings flopped, his eyebrows went up and his eyes open when he heard your story, and with some sad emotion he had claimed that he went through the same. ''We're not that different! I just have wings'' ''But your wings are really cool'' ''Do you think so?'' And from that conversation on, your dinners were not lonely anymore, nor your lunches or breakfast. Hawks was always there, to tell a joke, to support you, to tell you about his day and ask you about yours. 

That is why you felt weird when he wasn't at the dining room as every night waiting for you. The table the two of you shared was empty, and he was nowhere to be seen. You walked with your tray among the other students, asking them if they had seen Hawks, but none of them did. However, a girl walked towards you and say some words that made you whimper. ''I heard he was training really hard today'' was he ok? After thanking the girl you left the tray on a random empty table, grabbing only the chocolate bar they gave you as a trait on Friday nights. 

Walking through the installations was always confusing, too many hallways and doors that were similar, but you knew the way to his room. Hawks' room. You were being careful, though. Girls' and boys' dorms were separated, and there was no way you could get to his dorm past nine pm. But there you were, walking fast and cautiously until you get to the known door. One knock and no answer. Two and the same happened.

''Hawks? It's me, I... I didn't see you at dinner so I thought...'' 

The door opened on his own, a feather, of course. He was getting better at using them, but that had a cost, a cost you comprehend when you saw the twelve year old boy sitting with legs crossed on his bed. He was lucky he had a dorm for his own, but he didn't seem happy about it. Actually, it was the first time you saw him sad. He was the one that comforted you, the one that made you smile. But now his light was faded. You approached him slowly, sitting next to him. You could notice his raspy knees and cheekbones, forehead, arms. Everywere. He was trying hard to control his sob, holding his Endeavor plushie with one hand against his chest. You were the only one who knew about it, he didn't want other kids to bother him for liking the flame hero. 

''Hawks?'' You whispered ''What happened?'' 

''Training was hard today'' He answered simply, looking down at the mattress.

''I... Can see'' You tried to laugh at your bad joke ''Do they... Hurt?'' The bruises were too evident as to avoid them. ''They should give you something for the pain!''

''They said that it should heal soon, so... Guess I'll be fine'' He hugged his plushie a bit more.

''You need to be ok if you're gonna be a great hero!'' You said standing up, looking through the cabinets in his dorm for a faids kit, and when you found it you sat back next to him. 

''What are you doing?'' He asked, his curious bird-like expression was on his face again. 

''I will heal you. Or try to'' All of your attention was on looking the things you needed.

You used the cold gel compress to put it on his bruised cheekbone, telling him to hold it as you look for something to clean the dry blood off his arms and knees. He looked at you with a confused expression, no one took care of him like that before. Not even mentions his parents. At the commission, the other kids always praised his wings, and they wanted to be friends with him because of that reason, but you were different. There you were, trying your best at healing him, making lame jokes to make him laugh and to cheer him up, telling him he was going to be a great person. 

Once you were done, you sat comfortably again and smiled at him

''Oh, I almost forgot. I got you this!'' You took the chocolate candy out of your pocket ''It melted a bit, but I hope it cheers you up'' His eyes winded in surprise again, and then he leaned in to hug you tight. His arms caging your shoulders. You couldn't help but blush a bit, a boy was hugging you, what else could you do? 

''Thanks, really. You're my best friend'' Hawks said, his eyes still a bit glossy but now they looked a bit happier ''Do you want the half?'' He asked you, opening the candy and splitting it in two. 

The winged kid made your life at the commission a hundred times better.

Present day.

''I can't believe that you're a grown up man and I still have you patch you up'' You joked, leaving the cold compress on his desk. After years of training together, the commission decided that you worked well together, that's how you ended up in his agency, working next to him. 

''And I will never be able to thank you enough'' He said with a teasing smile. 

''Yeah yeah, whatever'' You said, getting away from the chair he was sitting ''Are you gonna go to the date with Hanao?'' Feelings were hard to comprehend, and you didn't know why you felt jealous every time he went on dates with random girls. No, you knew it. You just couldn't confess even to yourself that you were in love with that man.

''Uh, I think so. She's hot but talks too much'' He frowned his nose when he whined. 

''I talk a lot too'' You raised your eyebrows.

''Yeah, but your diffe-'' The door opening dramatically interrupted him.

''Guys! Nomus are attacking the city again, we need back up!'' The man yelled.

The two of you adopted a serious posture immediately, Hawks gave you the look that asked if you were ready, and knowing him as you did you simply nodded.

He held you in his arms so he could fly you near the scene where the chaos was happening, and when was near the floor he let you down, knowing you're fighting area was the ground. 

Hawks went flying so he could rescue some civilians with his feathers and fight nomus with the bigger wings. Things were getting messy, the creatures were destroying everything, and none of you noticed the spilled gasoline of a broken car and the fire nearby. 

You were finishing with a nomu when you saw Hawks again, and thanked internally when you saw he was alright. After a while, his wings got smaller because of the number of feathers used, but he was still trying to help a civilian that was stuck inside her car. 

Everything was happening so fast yet so slow, you could see everything that was happening in slow motion, thinking fast about what your next move should be. Help the scared kid? A cop was running to him. Fight with the white nomu? No, three heroes were fighting against it. And then you saw it.  A big one was walking straight to Hawks, but he was too busy helping the man in the car he didn't notice it. The distance was getting narrower, so you ran, ran as fast as you could towards him. 

''Hawks!'' You could scream.

But it was too late. 

Everything happened within the same second. The gasoline that was spilled made contact with the fire, creating a deafening explosion, the fire blinding everyone's sight at the same time the nomu used his outrageous arm to hit you and send you flying, body crashing against pure concrete. Hawks tried to cover him at the moment of the explosion, but your voice made him turn around and see what was happening. He saw the exact moment when the nomu got rid of you, his senses panicking when he saw you crashing against the hard concrete wall, and then to the floor. 

Another hero started fighting the nomu that attacked you, and other rescue heroes took care of the man trapped. 

Everything was in slow motion again, this time for Hawks. He couldn't fly, he wasn't fast. He ran towards your moveless body, but his steps felt heavier by each second, he was praying you were ok, he wanted to see you getting up, moving. But that didn't happen. You were there, face on the floor, passed out. 

''Y/n!'' He desperately called your name, turning you around to lay you on his lap ''come on kid, wake up!'' Hawks called, but you didn't hear his words. ''Hey, hey look at me. I need you to look at me for fuck's sake!'' Tears were forming in his eyes when he saw you were not responding. Blood was running down a corner of your mouth and your forehead, dust was all over and your eyes still closed. 

He couldn't lose you. Not you. As he called your name, all the memories attacked him. Those nights at the commission when you cured his wounds, when you shared your food, the times he got flustered when you kissed his cheek for the first time, or when he got jealous when a kid two years older asked you out. Or when you were in your twenties and he saw you with a good looking civilian and felt jealous again. The laughs you shared, the sad times. Damn, he even remembered the first conversation you had, when you told him everything about your shitty past and he had offered you his Endeavor plushie for comfort. The nights you spent together till dawn or get caught by someone at the comission. How he felt weird when he went on dates with random girls, He didn't want to be with any of them. He wanted to be with you. Just you. 

And the realization came like a storm. First the lighting in the middle of the night, everything that looked dark and confusing was clear. And then the loud sound of a thunder. It was love. Everything that he felt those years, every weird emotion. He was in love with you, and didn't get the chance to tell you. 

He was on his knees, putting pressure on your wounds as he looked the chaos around him, begging for a doctor, or a fast hero that could take you to the hospital. For the first time ever, he felt helpless. However, a voice took him out his thoughts. A light of hope. 

''Wing hero Hawks! I'm Ingenium from the UA, class 1-A. I can take them to the nearest hospital right now!'' 

He looked at the hero in a white armor, a student? He didn't have another option. He let the young hero take you in his arms. The engines on his calves lighted up and he went running. Damn he was fast, it could be a chance to save you. 

When All Might arrived at the scene, things got calmer. And he used whatever means he had to get to the hospital in which the hero had taken you. 

People looked at Hawks with curious eyes, he was looking desperate, looking for you everywhere and asking about you. He was about to lose his head when the same student arrived, this time no mask on. 

''Hi, this is Tenya Ida from class 1-A, UA student'' He introduced himself again, this time properly ''They take them to surgery and said she should be out in an hour or a bit more'' 

Hawks thanked the kid, and gave an effortless pat on his shoulder beofre moving to the waiting room. One hour pass, then two, and then three. What the hell was taking so long? He was resting his elbows on his thighs and head on his hands. No one gave him information about you, and he could feel the tears dampening his cheeks. He loved you, he had loved you all along and now you might be gone forever. He wanted to hug you, kiss you, never let you go. 

Hours seemed infinite, but then an exhausted doctor appeared in front of him. 'They're sedated' she said, explaining to him that you had lost a lot of blood, but that they were able to stop the bleeding from the different cuts, and organs. 

Hawks felt like walking the long hallways of the commission when he sneaked to your room when you were kids, nervous, wanting to see you. But now? Now he was a man, and he knew that he loved you and craved to see you. To know you were ok. He got to the door, and doubted whether to enter or not, but he took a deep breath and did it.

You were laying on the bed, a machine helping you breathe and lots of needles and cables on your arm. Keigo's chest tightened at the image of you wounded, and even worse. You were in that state for saving him, and he was hating himself because of it.

Quietly, he sat down as he held your hand. His chin was trembling he was trying too hard not to cry. Using his free hand, he caressed your cheek and pulled a strand of your hair away from your face. 

''Hey,'' he whispered ''I need you to wake up, ok? I... Need you here, with me. I'm nothing if I don't have you here'' His voice was broken, and he didn't even notice when the tears were running down his eyes again ''I swear I'll stop stealing your lunch, and I won't whistle or chirp on mornings because I know you get stressed'' Keigo let out a sad laugh ''There's so much I need to tell you, so please.'' He caressed your head again ''I won't go on dates with random girls anymore because I... Just want to be with you'' A sob left his lips, and he rested his forearms and head on the bed next to you ''I can even shave my so-called beard if you want to, but please... Wake up. Come back to me. Please, don't leave me'' His whisper was drowned in tears, Keigo kept sobbing by your side as the memories kept replaying on his head ''I love you, I fucking love you'' He finally let his feelings out among hurtful tears. He wanted nothing more than you to be ok. 

Suddenly, his heart stopped. He felt the weight of a hand on his head, playing with his hair. He got up slowly, looking at you with red puffy eyes, but full of hope. 

''y/n?'' He asked, heart beating fast.

''I like when you whistle in the morning'' You said slowly opening your eyes ''your stubble is cute''  a weak smile was on your lips, and he couldn't believe that your first words after almost dying were about him ''And I always pack up double lunch because I know you eat mine. That's why I get fried chicken every day'' At that day, he couldn't control the amount of tears escaping his eyes. 

''I...'' A sob ''y/n I-'' you interrupted him with your weak raspy voice.

''I know, I heard you'' You nodded, feeling your eyes getting watery too ''I love you too, Kei'' You caressed his cheek. ''I've been in love with you since I was like... Fifteen'' you rolled your eyes and laughed weakly, making him laugh in the same way too.

''Sorry I didn't notice sooner'' He brushed your hair with his hand, and then whipped some tears, but the kee falling '' Don't you dare scare me like that again'' He chuckled lowly.

''Sorry'' You said ''Can I get a kiss for saving your ass once again?'' He couldn't help but laugh again, loving to see you with a good mood. 

He leaned forward, his lips on yours were delicate, soft, and tender. Just his lips against yours, a bit salty because of the tears but none of you cared. You whined a bit because of the lack of air and the pain caused because the cut on your lower lip. 

''Shit, sorry'' He pulled away, and then got closer again to kiss your forehead for long seconds as his hand was still on top of your head holding your hair. ''I love you, so damn much'' 

He sat on the chair next to the bed again, resting his head on his forearms one more time. You used the little amount of strength you had to play with his hair, scratching his scalp with soft fingers. 

''I love you too, bird boy'' Tiredness was taking over you again ''This time you will have to patch me up'' You joked

''Always. I'll always will'' He sobbed one more time, closing his eyes. Loving your hand on his hair, and your voice. God, he could never be tired of listening to you. ''Try to get some sleep, ok?'' He said moving his head up again. 

''Will you be here when I wake up?'' You asked. The same question you did when as kids, when Hawks lent you his bed so you could sleep there as he took care of your sleep from the other bed, not wanting you to get any nightmares. 

''Yes, I'm not leaving you. I will be here'' He smiled at you, and after leaving another kiss on your forehead he rested his head on his forearms on the tiny empty space on the bed by your side.

He was not letting the love of his life alone. Not that night, or never.  

[charminglatina]

I’m done with Riverdale.

I gave Riverdale and the writers of this show so many chances to fix their shit. I gave them so many chances to write better storylines, to stop with the repetitive shit, to stop writing the same boring couples every single season, to stop with the character assassination, to stop with the fan service, to try different relationships and refreshing dynamics, to stop destroying characters/couples for the sake of other characters/couples, etc. And the show just continues to let me down over and over and over again. Last night’s episode was the worst episode in Riverdale history. Relationships were destroyed left and right, characters were assassinated and written out of character. Archie was completely OOC in last night’s episode. He was a complete fucking asshole and prick. Archie in no way looked like the hero and protagonist of Riverdale. He didn’t live up to the values, ideals and standards that he claims to have. Instead, he came off as an unsympathetic, emotionless, disgusting, cheating, fickle piece of garbage douchebag. Archie Andrews is no fucking hero and the writers completely destroyed his character within 45 minutes and a single episode. He is irredeemable from my point of view and his character is beyond repair at this point. There is nothing that can fix that mess of a character. His treatment of women in general is disgusting and misogynistic. The way he treated Betty in 5x08 was absolutely abhorrent, degrading and despicable. He acted like he had zero emotions or feelings for her and that he just used her for sex. He then dumps her and runs back to the same toxic relationship with Veronica. Even after seven years, Archie hasn’t changed or grown at all.He’s still the same stupid and immature punk that he was in high school. FUCK ARCHIE ANDREWS. He’s THE WORST main character, lead, and protagonist I’ve ever seen on any show. Not even Elena Gilbert from TVD or Lucas Scott from OTH is as horrible or badly written as he is. Archie is much more of a villain than a hero. There’s nothing that the writers can do to make Archie a good character again. His character is beyond reproach and they should be ashamed to have a piece of shit like Archie leading their show. Veronica is acting like a thirsty, desperate, trampy whore throwing herself at another man while she’s still married and the ink hasn’t even dried on her divorce papers. She has revealed herself to be an extremely controlling, domineering, conniving, money hungry and manipulative bitch. She is so fucking detestable and unlikeable. I can’t root for her character. I actually HATE Veronica now and I never thought I would say that. The writers completely butchered her character just as badly as Archie’s. It’s evident that after five seasons, the writers don’t know what the fuck to do with her character but have her be Hiram’s chew toy or having her constantly chasing after Archie like some pathetic desperate hussy. She’s become the worst character on the show and she has had zero character development. All of her storylines are the same: they either revolve around her father or around men in general. Veronica is a shallow character that lacks complexity and depth. She is nothing more than Hiram Lodge with lipstick and a skirt/dress. As someone who is Latina, Veronica is a horrible representation of Latina and hispanic women in media. Veronica Lodge is an absolute embarrassment to the Hispanic and Latinx community and I’m ashamed of her character at this point. She doesn’t represent me and I don’t want her kind of character to represent my community. RAS and the writers clearly hate Camila Mendes. I can’t say that Camila’s acting is helping matters either. Betty is an emotionally unstable, whiny, pathetic doormat for Archie and a complete fucking emotional mess. She was nothing but a sex toy/booty call for Archie so that he could get his rocks off. As soon as the sex wore off, Archie and no problem with dumping her and throwing her away ;ike a dirty tissue. And Betty didn’t fight for herself. She didn’t fight for her feelings. She didn’t stand up to Archie for disrespecting her like that and using her. Archie used her for pleasure and than acted as if she were nothing to him. And Betty just fucking took it?? Why doesn't Betty just stand up for herself for once? Why doesn’t she stop being such a doormat for him and letting Archie stomp on her feelings all the time? Does she have no self respect? The one thing that makes Betty’s character somewhat salvageble is the fact that Lili Reinhart is an amazing fucking actress and for that, you can’t help but feel sympathy for her even if she’s being written as a pathetic doormat and Archie’s sex toy. Chad is a narcissistic, abusive POS who is Hiram 2.0. What was the purpose of his character on the show? Just to cause some tension between Varchie? What a waste of an actor and character. Jughead is a pathetic drunk and a lazy bum with no purpose. His sole reason for existing is to get drunk every episode, get abducted by aliens and be saved by girls. The writers are ruining my fave character on the show. Kevin is a cheating piece of shit. He has no clue what monogamy is or what a real relationship stands for and means. He’s nothing more than a walking and talking negative gay stereotype. Reggie was completely destroyed this season. They had him turn on his friends and side with Hiram, the town bully. Reggie is a complete douche and any character development he had in the earlier seasons has vanished. The writers butchered his character horribly and it’s a shame because Charles Melton is a decent dude and actor who deserves a better storyline and material. Cheryl is a sociopath with no remorse for her horrible behaviour and she treats Toni like garbage. I don’t know how Toni can stand being with her or around her. She doesn’t give a shit who she hurts in the process as long as she is creating chaos for her own amusement. Cheryl is a horrible person and the fact that she has had no development for hasn’t changed makes things worse. Also, it’s evident that Madeleine Petsch (along with the rest of the cast, LBR), is completely phoning it in all season. Her acting is terrible and cringeworthy. At this point, Cheryl is so awful and toxic that I don't think I want her to be with Toni or for Choni to reunite in the future. Toni deserves better than this red haired creature. Toni is, once again and as usual, being sidelined. I expected this to happen sooner than later. I figured that Toni would be relegated to a support character once more or to go back to being Cheryl’s punching bag. Though Toni being sidelined isn’t really her fault or the writers fault because Vanessa is on maternity leave. As if the characters haven't been destroyed, the relationships have been slaughtered and decimated left and right. Choni is toxic as fuck. Barchie was made out to be nothing of substance but sex (plus the way they got together is sickening including the cheating and the FWB plot line which amounted to nothing in the end). Bughead is an awkward repetitive and annoying bore with no chemistry. Varchie is the worst couple on the show, toxic as hell with no chemistry and takes up too much screen time. Kangs was destroyed for absolutely no reason. The only couple that has potential to be something great and substantial is Jabitha but considering the writers track record, I expect them to ruin them for Bughead. It’s only a matter of time. Tick tock. ⏰ To top it all off, the storylines are absolutely fucking ridiculous this season. Archie with his stupid overblown hero complex trying to save Riverdale? BORING. Hiram being the same boring villain AGAIN and trying to take down the same group of teenagers he was harassing seven years ago? REPETITIVE. The Mothman/Aliens storyline? We’re dealing with fucking ALIENS??? Aliens of all things? What the actual fuck are the writers smoking?! Then there’s the whole Polly storyline which is boring and repetitive.. Try something different for fucks sake. I’m not gonna get into the whole TBK nonsense which also reeks of repetitive storytelling. There's way too many plot lines and storylines being told and it’s a jumbled, incoherent mess. There’s only so much nonsense that you can take before you finally snap and say enough is enough. I’m at that point. For me to cut something or someone out of my life for good, it’s got to be something or someone really horrible. Riverdale is one of those things. Riverdale has made my viewing and fandom experience absolutely fucking miserable. It’s caused me significant upset and emotional distress because of how attached I was to these characters and relationships. Now it seems like it was all a waste. What was the point? Why did I stick around to watch the characters and the relationships on this show get butchered? The writers don’t know what the fuck they are doing. They continue to be stuck in the same rut and a time jump hasn’t fixed that. I’M DONE. There’s no more chances. The show is dead to me as are the Riverdale cast and the writers. The show should just end this season. Season 6 should either be cancelled or shortened to 10 episodes. Stop wasting the audience’s time with this garbage.

[leia-imogen]

aaron & the family he's found all by himself; vol. 2 // vol. 1

( ft. short jokes, a belated birthday shopping trip, & an ultra-chaotic winter break )

( for @criswisstuff & anyone who enjoyed the first one <3 )

savannah, who is 5'9, is constantly teasing aaron and cleo for being short. katelyn's good at 5'6, and also a bit impossible to tease bcs she's the actual best, so she gets to escape this

cleo ( 5'2 ) is perfectly delighted to have someone shorter than her for once in her life, even by only 2 inches

aaron: guys, just try and see this from my point of view

sav: [ collapses ]

katelyn: [ crouches down ]

cleo: [ sits cross-legged on floor ]

aaron: dude you're literally 2 inches taller than me

cleo: 2 and a quarter

sav is so smug about this but in a good-natured way, in that she and cleo call aaron "kid" or "kiddo" or "pipsqueak" and he doesn't mind bcs they always say it w such a huge smile and he likes to respond to sav with "how's the weather up there, tall-ass?"

and katelyn thinks it's ridiculously adorable how tiny aaron is and obviously she uses him as an armrest all the time

katelyn, petting aaron's hair: guys guys omg he's like an angsty mini blond kitten and i would kill for him <3

sav, popping up between them: mini-yard :))

before i get super distracted, i just wanna mention that aaron met sav and cleo towards the end of november, so they missed the twin's birthday

but sav still insists that she must take him shopping bcs sure his fashion sense is fine but there's always room for improvement, isn't there, aaron??

he relents, so long as she and cleo and katelyn ( who already gave him a birthday present?? why's she doing this??? ) don't spend too much money

sav drags him all around south carolina to the best thrift stores she can find and cleo and katelyn are amazed that she can get such fantastic deals on the supermodel clothes she wears

fr she's literally a fashion design major ( + minoring in business management ) and she shows up to class in skilfully done drugstore makeup and an absolutely killer outfit for like 15 bucks

she grew up poor, and she's still poor now, even if she ( thankfully ) managed to scrape a cheerleading scholarship

sav, flicking through a rack of dresses labelled $4 apiece: RIP to little miss rich bitch reynolds but i'm different ;)

no hate to allison she's awesome but she grew up in the lap of luxury surrounded by designer brands so she knows NOTHING about thrifting and rationing money in general

oh and sav and allison have kind of a frenemies thing going on bcs they're both fighting for the top spot of their fashion design course

they spend the whole day shopping and aaron ends up with a highly upgraded wardrobe that contains a lot of cute pastel stuff and sav's promise to do his makeup

aaron insists on paying for dinner at the really nice pizza place a short drive from campus even tho they all protest

and andrew knows he's found new friends, but has no idea that it's the vixens and he's dating one of them. nicky does tho, but he's sworn to secrecy

nicky thinks his new clothes are adorable and is stunned when aaron tells him the total cost

"oh my GOD that girl sounds like a genius."

"yeah, her name's sav. you guys,, would get along, i think."

okay now for the winter break part!!

i think that you can get permission to stay at dorms if you're an international student or something??

anyways since sav's super upset bcs her father straight-up told her not to come home bcs he has a new girlfriend ( god i hate sav's father )

katelyn would stay with her, but her dad can finally have her home in new york for christmas and she really doesn't want to miss it

cleo, the only one with a properly functional family, is going back to her big family house and loving parents and grandma and aunt and siblings and cousins. love that for her.

so aaron and sav are stuck at psu for 2 weeks and aaron's surprisingly cool with this. and sav's excited bcs for the first time since her mom died, she can spend her christmas with someone she actually wants around instead of her shitty-ass father and his constant stream of bitchy girlfriends

they spend a lot of time together, stealing food from the athlete's dining hall to make their own weird combos, which usually ends with aaron making something Cool and Interesting and sav gagging and spitting out whatever strange concoction she had previously insisted would taste good

i literally can't bring myself to give a shit about the twinyards' deal bcs andrew literally became best friends with renee?? and hooks up with guys at eden’s??? idk what's going on there but it's like andrew is trying to control aaron's life while he can do whatever he wants??? and honestly wtf????

also let me just make it clear that i ADORE andrew so so much he's one of my favourite comfort characters ever but i'm not gonna make excuses for his shitty behaviour. i fully believe he heals and puts away his pride to apologise to aaron, nicky, and kevin for his treatment of them

that's definitely not to say that aaron's internalised homophobia isn't eww, but with so many important people in his life gay, he makes a huge effort to get over it

so andrew just thinks that aaron is spending a lot of time in the library or out with nicky or something

and when aaron tells sav about this deal, she's kinda horrified, but it's pretty clear to her that aaron so desperately wants to fix his relationship with his brother, and she's not in any place to discourage him, is she?

the only thing she can do is hope that he won't come out all the worse for it

and stare at the boy curled up on the other end of the pale pink sofa cleo's parents had gotten, wonder just how much shit he'd been put through, and decide she was going to be his best friend

aaron's face has gone entirely impassive. sav nudges his fluffy-socked foot with her own, then reaches out to smooth the crease between his eyebrows. "careful, you'll wrinkle your pretty little face."

aaron is very caught off guard by this, and very promptly flushes bright red, which contrasts with the pale teal hoodie he stole from katelyn

"okay, enough talk about depressing crap. wanna go make christmas cookies now?"

"yeah."

so they make christmas cookies. well, it was supposed to be christmas cookies, but it turns into double chocolate fudge cookies somewhere along the line. neither of them knows how

them baking together is the definition of chaos. they're still blasting songs, and sav is singing along terribly

"yOu'Re A mEaN oNe, Mr. GrInCh," while poking aaron's cheek as he tries to mix something. he throws a handful of flour at her. "yOu ReAlLy ArE A hEel."

anyways obviously sav retaliates and that ends in a flour fight. it only stops when aaron deadass cracks an egg on sav's head and she smears chocolate into his hair

she also tries to make him sing along to baby, it's cold outside

"i'Ve GoT tO Go `wAAyyy~" she holds a spatula up to his face

"go away."

they video call katelyn, who takes one look at the mess in the cramped dorm kitchen and sighs so loudly and dramatically that her dad pops in and asks if everything's okay

aaron freezes up at the sight of him and sav quickly turns off the camera, bcs they both want to make good impressions on him, and being covered in various cookie ingredients just won't cut it, ya know?

the cookies turn out delicious and sav sends all their group chat various photos of the process, most of which consist of selfies with her making goofy faces while aaron is simultaneously baking and flipping off the camera

plus a several videos of sav enthusiastically dancing and mouthing the lyrics of, as follows, all i want for christmas is you, let it snow, and santa claus is coming to town and aggressively pointing a spatula at aaron

"c'mon aari, just sing! please??? please???? please you can do it i believe in you!!"

finally he just. gives up. "okay, you know what? fine, i'll sing to ONE and then you will STOP bothering me you insolent dumbass."

sav beams. santa baby starts playing. aaron is very clearly going through five stages of grief in 0.5 seconds

"go on," sav says sweetly as she slides in next to a pouting aaron, "i'll sing with you."

sav slings an arm around his shoulder and sways with him, so it's just her doing that and him grumpily mumbling the lyrics

and when the cookies are cooling down, they start cleaning the kitchen up. aaron rubs some spilled egg yolk into sav's hair but it goes pretty okay otherwise, since they're just listening to more christmas songs and chatting about light stuff, like aaron's biochem course, sav's fashion course, and their dumb classmates

aaron mostly listens tho, and learns that sav kind of hates allison reynolds for giving up her inheritance when she would do ANYTHING for even the tiniest fraction of that money

but she still thinks allison's gorgeous bcs c'mon

and that sav's dream is to one day open her own boutique!!

aaron spends most of the actual christmas day with the monsters at eden's bcs nicky and andrew wanted to

he spent a lot of the time texting on their group chat

doessavvyisgay: so u just go to a nightclub every week??

unaliveme: i mean yeah, i literally worked here for a while. we needed money and nicky was already working 2 jobs night and day

actualblessing: babe ur backstory is so tragic

unaliveme: i'm a fox for a reason ig

cleo.magda: Yes but-

doessavvyisgay renamed this conversation "aaron miniyard support group"

unaliveme: oh ffs

unaliveme: sav subject change go

doessavvyisgay: i'm at the clothes store what should i get?

actualblessing: something pretty :)

doessavvyisgay: sorry, i can't buy the cashier

cleo.magda: Wow.

doessavvyisgay: I DID GET HER NUMBER THO

unaliveme: lmaooo what's her name?

doessavvyisgay: uh

unaliveme: savannah istg u don't even know her name??

actualblessing: s a v

actualblessing: damn u really do be turning on the Charm tho

actualblessing: respect i didn't even talk to aaron till i asked him for notes bcs he has rly pretty notes and also a rly pretty face

actualblessing: and even then i was like :0

unaliveme: IT WAS CUTE I PROMISE

doessavvyisgay: u 2 = the only valid heterosexual couple

actualblessing: rt

unaliveme: oh shit i'm getting super drunk

cleo.magda: Aaron, you drink? That's not legal, get out of there right now. Kids these days-

unaliveme: cleo u have literally seen me get drunk af,, the first time we met,,, and anyways this is how my family bonds ✌🏻

doessavvyisgay: that's. so damn weird kiddo but go off ig

actualblessing: no go find better things to bond about other than alcohol and weird sweaty dancing

cleo.magda: Yeah, go watch some Christmas movies!

unaliveme: nicky makes us watch die hard every year

doessavvyisgay: see u in hell, kiddo ;)

cleo.magda: I meant things like The Polar Express and Home Alone.

actualblessing: merry christmas ya filthy animals!!

doessavvyisgay: merry xmas y'all i'm gonna go to that christmas party bcs i'm super bored

unaliveme: merry christmas mothers and fuckers

cleo.magda: Merry Christmas, you guys!

[hawksward]

Wolves in Sheep's Clothing Ch. 1: Push/Pull (Childe/OC)

Since being granted a vision at the tender age of 10, Irina has owed her life to the Tsaritsa and dedicated herself to rising through the ranks of the Fatui. In becoming a top-ranking diplomat she's received her easiest assignment yet: ensure the 11th Fatui Harbinger remains ignorant of La Signora's plan to obtain the gnosis of Rex Lapis. A simple task for someone who's made a career out of lying.

Unfortunately, even the simplest tasks can go awry when feelings get in the way.

Rating: E (For eventual smut)

Warnings: None that I can think of for this chapter, there will eventually be smut

Banner credit goes to @shinsotired because I'm incapable of art.

Prologue:

Cold. She couldn’t remember the last time she wasn’t cold. At first, the nerves in her fingertips were screaming, the skin exposed through the holes in her worn gloves. But now it was different.

The cold had faded into warmth as she laid on the ground in the alley. At first, it was uncomfortably hot. So hot she wanted to strip off her already thin winter coat and hat. But now it was pleasantly warm. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this way.

But it wasn’t right. It couldn’t be.

The snow seemed to fall in waves, flakes occasionally falling into her eyes. The girl flexed her fingers before closing her eyes, they were becoming harder and harder to move.

I’m dying

The thought echoed in her head. She couldn’t decide if she was scared or relieved. If she died there would be no more suffering. Tears slipped out of her eyes, freezing on her cheeks.

I can’t. Not here. Not like this.

She curled herself into a ball. Clenching her fists as tight as she could to stay awake. She desperately tried to conserve what little body heat she had left.

The voices were faint at first, two men engaging in idle chatter as they strolled through the alley. One man’s footsteps stopped short when he saw her, much to the dismay of his partner.

“Leave it Misha. Street kids die every day here.” His foot pushed her from her side onto her back. She could barely open her eyes, any energy she had for defiance long gone. She immediately knew the man by his mask. Fatui.

“She’s holding something.” Misha reached down to pry open her clenched fist.

Her palm was soaked in blood around an object she knew she wasn’t holding before. Although she couldn’t quite make out what it was from her angle, she noticed the man’s eyes go wide.

“How many street kids do you know who have been blessed by the Tsaritsa?”  He plucked the object from her hand and held it to the lamplight. A cryo vision.

“What’s your name, child?”

Her voice came as a whisper

“Irina”

Ch. 1:

The wind in Liyue Harbor was far milder than the chill winds in Snezhnaya. The boat journey was amicable, albeit long, and she would be in Liyue for the foreseeable future. Even from the docks, she could tell. The whole city was in chaos.

Only a day passed since the Rite of Descension, a disaster of epic proportions, and it was clear there were still no answers.

Irina leaned over the side of the boat, watching the fish scatter as the anchor plummeted into the sand below. Men hurried into the boat the moment the gangplank fell, eager to unload the crates of liquor shipped from the motherland.

Pushing herself off the rail, Irina made her way down the gangplank. She knew next to nothing about her assignment. Only that Rex Lapis was dead and there was now a sea of red tape between the Tsaritsa and the gnosis.

“I trust you’re our new diplomat?”

Her attention was brought to the man before her. He had half a head of height on her with bright auburn hair and even brighter blue eyes. It was clear from what he was wearing that he was Fatui.

“Yes. I’ve been sent by Her Majesty, the Tsaritsa, to aid in the issue with the exuvia.” She held out her hand for a handshake only for the man to hold her hand to his lips, placing a small kiss before releasing.

“I’m Childe. We’ll be working closely together while you’re here in Liyue. Not like I needed the assistance, I have the situation under control.”

She wasn’t surprised that he was less than excited for her arrival, she didn’t climb through the ranks to take easy assignments.

“Aster.” It was an alias of course, she couldn’t remember the last time she used her real name. “You must be Tartaglia then. Don’t mind me. I’m here to help grease the bureaucratic gears. I won’t be interfering with your bank loan operation.”

Irina knew that the Northland Bank was a large source of revenue for the Tsaritsa in Liyue. She also knew that their interest rates and collection practices were less than ethical. Not like it was any of her concern.

The smile on Childe’s face faltered for only a second, but it was enough to betray his false hospitality. He was a harbinger, most Fatui agents and diplomats alike wouldn’t dare talk to him in that manner. But most diplomats weren’t hand chosen by the Tsaritsa herself.

“Well Aster, I’m sure you’re tired from the journey but why don’t I show you around and get you acquainted with the members of the Northland Bank, where you’ll be stationed. As your superior officer allow me to give you the grand tour”

His words weren’t lost on her. Although she wouldn’t be reporting to him on her assignment she needed to appear like she was. She couldn’t have him asking questions.

“Of course, Lord Tartaglia ” the words rolled off her tongue like venom “Please lead the way.”

——

It was clear from the endless amount of stairs he had her climb to the Yujing Terrace that he was looking to torture her. Nothing about the tour was optimal and only served to exhaust her further.

“Don't tell me you’re getting tired already!” Childe was beaming from ear to ear

She wanted to stab him. They had gone back and forth to a new landmark, each somehow across the city from the other, for the better part of 3 hours. And while she was in shape, she didn’t have an elite soldier’s stamina. Nor did Childe have to make the trek in heels.

“Of course not, I’m ready to experience all the city has to offer” She put on her most charming smile. She wouldn’t let him best her, especially not so early in the game.

Childe laughed before waving her over to the nearby railing. The view from the terrace was beautiful. From the top of the city was a view of the harbor. The streets below just beginning to light the lanterns for the night.

“I see you know how to make an impression” Irina smiled to herself as she drank in the view.

“What can I say? I have many talents.” He leaned against the rail, his eyes trained on her. “One of them is sensing bullshit. So why don’t you tell me why you’re really here.”

Irina raised an eyebrow, turning her attention to the man before her. “I’m here because the Tsaritsa is unimpressed at how long it’s taking you to complete your mission. Signora obtained her gnosis within a week of arriving in Mondstat.”

“Signora didn't have to contend with a dead Barbatos.” He countered

“If you think you can do this on your own then by all means be my guest.” Irina pushed herself off the rail, “But as of today all matters dealing with the Liyue Qixing will be handled by me. If you take issue with that you’re free to look through the paperwork I brought with me.”

Childe had no retort, but it was clear that she struck a nerve by comparing him to Signora. It didn’t matter. She would complete her mission as soon as possible and then leave Liyue for her next assignment. which would hopefully not involve the 11th harbinger.

“Well then. Allow me to escort the lady to the Northland Bank. Ekaterina has prepared the small office for your arrival.”

——

Childe didn’t lie when he said the office was small. Her office was a glorified storage closet on the upper level of the bank, barely large enough to fit a reasonably sized oak desk already stacked with paperwork. She knew when she wasn’t meeting with the Qixing she would be expected to help out with administrative work for the bank.

She didn’t expect for her superior  to drop all of his work on her as well.

Before he left for the night he tossed a map her way, a large red x marking where her accommodations would be. She was mildly surprised he hadn’t offered to walk her to the inn to keep tabs on her. Then again the Fatui presence in the city was nothing to scoff at, someone would see her eventually and most likely report back.

Thankfully the inn wasn’t difficult to find, centered in the middle of the merchant district. Accommodations weren’t large by any means, but the warm wood and red bedding were lush and inviting.

What little luggage she brought on the boat was tucked away in the corner, next to a small bathroom. She never carried much, even a small suitcase seeming excessive after growing up with nothing.

Irina glanced at the clock sitting on the dresser. Currently 11 pm. She needed to be at Liuli pavilion in 3 hours. She changed out of her clothes for something that didn’t scream ‘Fatui agent skulking around at all hours of the night’.

—-

Liuli Pavillion definitely looked closed. Irina passed maybe two people on her way from the inn to the restaurant, both of whom were definitely too drunk to remember anyone who passed them by.

Irina checked her surroundings before knocking on the door twice, followed by a brief pause, followed by four more times. She could hear footsteps coming from inside before unlocking the door.

“Can I help you? We’re closed” a middle-aged man looked her up and down, a scowl on his face

“I’m here with the jueyun chili order.”

“Already got it last week.” He barked

“Yes, but this order is a special delivery from Qingce Village.”

The man gave a curt nod before stepping out of the way. The windows in the restaurant were tightly drawn shut, locking in the dim candlelight. Irina made her way to the voices coming from the adjacent room.

The room held a small square table, one seat was filled by a dark haired man in an expensive looking suit. The other was filled with none other than the 8th harbinger herself.

Signora.

“You’re late.” She didn’t bother to look up as she took a sip from her glass of wine “Sit down, we don’t have much time.”

Irina sat down as the man from the door placed a glass of wine in front of her. She took a small sip, locking eyes with the dark haired man across the table. Was Signora going to make an introduction or not?

“This is my subordinate, Aster. She’ll be your point of contact for all things related to the contract” Signora began “Aster, this is Zhongli, you may know him better as Rex Lapis”

Irina nearly choked on her drink. She knew the anemo archon, Barbatos, had taken on a human form before having his gnosis taken. But she never imagined she’d see another archon in the flesh. The Tsaritsa living among her people wasn’t exactly common.

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir.” She wasn't sure how to respond. Clearly he didn’t want many to know if he was going by a different name. But was it alright to treat him like a normal person?

“None of that. In this form, I am simply Zhongli, consultant for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.” He gave a small, polite smile before sipping from his wine “Not to mention going forward we’ll be colleagues.”

“Listen closely because I’m only going to explain this once.” Signora reclined back in her seat, her fierce gaze not once leaving Irina, “The Tsaritsa has signed a contract with Rex Lapis for procurement of the gnosis. Since I can’t be in the city without drawing attention, you will be my proxy. You will tell absolutely no one of the contract nor about Zhongli’s identity. Do you understand?”

“Of course Lady Signora. I will maintain the utmost discretion.”

“Good. Since you’ll be doing it anyway, I want a report on anything you can discern from the Qixing as well.” The tall blonde woman stood from her chair, turning her back momentarily before returning her focus to Irina. “One last thing. If Tartaglia so much as develops an idea of what’s happening here consider yourself out of a job.”

Irina rose from her chair to give her a nod and a salute before the other woman left the restaurant. She had no intention of failing a mission, but it was clear that Signora would rip her entire life out from under her faster than she could blink if she did.

“Please, enjoy the glass of wine with me before you leave.” Zhongli motioned for her to return to her seat “We should get to know each other since we’ll be working closely together. Not to mention it is a vintage.”

[spicysoftsweet]

Chapter 11

Masterlist

The days following the funeral had been extremely lonely for Kaksi. While she knew she wasn’t the only one who was suffering from losing Baji, she felt like she shouldn’t bother anyone, attempting to overcome her own grief by herself. Eventually, she decided to pay a visit to her best friend despite the fact that she hadn’t called or texted ever since the ceremony.

But that had only worsened things, adding to the loneliness and sadness as she returned to her place after learning that Kumi had left Tokyo just a few days prior. Part of Kaksi was hurt that she hadn’t given her any notice, not even bothering to say goodbye, but another part of her knew that it was for the best and could only wish her a good recovery.

She felt useless being unable to help her but she figured that if she couldn’t be there for Kumi she would be there for anyone else that needed her. One of those people happened to be Chifuyu - while none of them wanted to address their feelings outright, they found each other’s company comforting. Kaksi could never replace Baji, the Toman member remembered painfully when he was with her, but they would still share a laugh together from time to time.

It had always been evident to Kaksi that Chifuyu’s feelings for Baji went beyond friendship and she wondered if the first division captain had been aware. She hoped he did not, keeping Chifuyu so close yet so far seemed cruel to her, especially when Kumi had entered the picture. But that was none of her business and she didn’t exactly want to broach the subject of romance with her friend even if he did seem to want to be involved with that side of her life.

“Are you going to see Kazutora soon?”

Kaksi let out a sigh, knowing she would regret it if she didn’t.

“I guess so.”

“He’d be happy to see you,” Chifuyu reassured with a little smile. “Heard Takemichi and Draken are going to see him soon too.”

Takemichi.

Kaksi couldn’t figure why but it still bothered her that he was always so involved in everything that was related to the gang. While she had nothing personal against him (at least she thought so), she couldn’t help feeling strange about his role in all of this.

“Why is he everywhere?”

“Who?” Chifuyu asked, confused. “Takemichi?”

Kaksi nodded.

“He says he wants to be Toman’s leader,” he explained.

“What the fuck?”

Chifuyu laughed at Kaksi’s evident confusion.

“I know. He’s insane.”

“Why does he want to become Toman’s leader?” she asked. “He was a nobody months ago.”

“I don’t know,” Chifuyu admitted. “But he’s pretty damn determined to achieve his goal. Besides, Baji trusts him.”

Kaksi smiled at his last words but that wouldn’t be enough to convince her that Takemichi’s motivations and behaviour were normal.

“So you trust him?”

Chifuyu nodded.

“He’s weird,” Kaksi pointed out. “Don’t know if I do.”

Kaksi had good intuitions and she had learned in the past to always trust them. She needed to talk to Takemichi, there was clearly something she was missing in all this chaos. If someone was to be Toman’s leader after Mikey it certainly would not be Takemichi, she was convinced and even if it was, why would he want that?

As Kaksi wondered about that she was reminded of her previous conversation with him. Something didn’t add up once again - why would Baji trust Takemichi? They barely knew each other. While she knew Baji was as, if not more, intuitive and perceptive than her, there must have been more than linked them. Maybe there was something Chifuyu was unaware of? No, that didn’t make sense; she remembered Takemichi coming to Kumi and her looking for intel about Kazutora and Baji, as the Valhalla conflict had been brewing.

Takemichi really was a nobody and despite suddenly appearing in their lives, he somehow played a key role in the gang. Kaksi didn’t know why she felt the need to investigate him and thinking about it now, she realised that all the people she held dear were related to him. Perhaps it was out of desperation for something to distract her, but for her peace of mind, she needed to know more about him.  

---

Takemichi had been surprised to see Kaksi, still in her school uniform, standing by his school’s entrance. His blue eyes widened as he caught her brown ones. Her face wore a neutral expression as usual and he couldn’t help feeling intimidated as she walked over to him. She didn’t smile or wave at him but she greeted him and quickly asked if she could have a few words with him.

Takemichi agreed and awkwardly, he and the taller girl walked together for a little while. They didn’t have a specific destination in mind but he figured they could just sit at the playground right around the corner and talk. He hadn’t seen her since Baji’s funeral and he couldn’t tell how she felt, finding Kaksi rather unreadable. He did however note that she looked more tired than he had usually seen her.

“What exactly are your motivations, Takemichi?” she asked suddenly, catching him off-guard.

He stayed silent for a moment, wondering what a good answer would be to that question.

“What do you mean?”

“A few months ago I had no idea who you were,” she explained. “Then suddenly you became the most talked-about person among my friends for some reason.”

It was true that Takemichi’s involvement with Toman had evolved very quickly and he felt himself sink deeper into its core every day. So Kaksi’s confusion was founded as someone who had watched most things unfold on the sidelines.

“And now I’m told you want to become Toman’s number one?” she continued, a frown on her face. “What is it that you know that you are not telling us?”

Kaksi’s voice wasn’t threatening in the slightest, but Takemichi couldn’t help getting nervous. There were so many things that he knew that he wasn’t telling anyone and the burden of his secret was getting harder to carry every day. Part of Takemichi carried the guilt of Baji’s death and while he had prevented Mikey from killing Kazutora, he had still failed his original mission.

It didn’t matter that Baji technically killed himself, Kazutora had inflicted to him fatal injuries that Takemichi failed to anticipate despite knowing more about the events that were meant to unfold than anyone else. He stayed silent. What would Kaksi think if she knew the truth? Would she hate him for failing to save Baji?

“What do you want, Takemichi?” she asked, filling the silence once again as Takemichi found himself unable to answer.

“I just want to save everyone.”

It felt good to say it but seeing the look on Kaksi’s face he realised that he had only confused her more.

“How?”

Takemichi didn’t know. He wasn’t smart, he wasn’t strong, and he was breaking too. Tears filled his eyes and he realized that the pressure was unbearable under Kaksi’s gaze.

“I don’t know, Kaksi,” he replied, tears rolling down his cheeks. “I have no idea.”

The girl could feel her vision blur as Takemichi started to sob.

“I wish I could save everyone too.”

Her voice cracked and she was happy no one was there to witness them.

“I wish I could have done something,” she continued, frustrated and tears falling uncontrollably. “I knew Kazutora was unstable but I didn’t know what to do. I should have insisted and talked to him the moment I knew what he was preparing. Baji…”

Kaksi, finding it hard to speak, paused for a moment. It was sickening to watch her like this, Takemichi thought, the guilt he felt amplified.

“Fuck I didn’t even talk to Baji. I just let him push me away like everyone else.”

“Please don’t blame yourself,” Takemichi begged her. “I’m the one who failed to protect Baji.”

Kaksi shook her head. Takemichi couldn’t have known how far Kazutora could go. But Kaksi did, as much as she loved him, she knew that Kazutora was never only the boy who gently kissed her knuckles. No, she knew there was a much more violent and aggressive side to her love. She had believed that it was under control, that she could keep him under control but she had failed.

“You didn’t know.”

Takemichi cried louder at those words. He wanted to scream and he did, unable to contain his feelings.

“I did,” he admitted, the words barely making it out. “I knew Kazutora would stab Baji and I couldn’t stop him. I couldn’t save Baji.”

He slammed his fist on the table they were sitting on and kept weeping. Kaksi’s eyes widened slightly, surprised by the sudden movement but more importantly by what he said.

“What do you mean you knew Kazutora would stab Baji?” she asked in horror and confusion.

“Forgive me, Kaksi.”

That was all Takemichi said for a moment along with repeated apologies. Kaksi asked him again, feeling her heartbeat increase. What did he mean?

“I knew Baji was going to die,” he started confessing.

But all Kaksi could do was cry harder as she listened to Takemichi’s secrets. He did not think anymore, telling her everything from the day he was meant to die, to Naoto, to Hina, to all the events he was able to change, to the guilt that crushed him and to his helplessness regarding Baji’s death.

By the end of his explanation, both of them sat quietly. Takemichi felt good for having gotten this all out of his chest but now he had to deal with how this could possibly affect Kaksi. Despite her initial shock, Kaksi figured this was way too serious for Takemichi to lie and it did explain how he had climbed Toman’s ranks so quickly and why he was so persistent. She felt a little guilty for thinking that his intentions could have been bad before they had talked.

So she apologised to him and reassured him that Baji’s death was in no way his fault and acknowledged that the weight of the responsibility he held was crushing.

“What are you going to do now?” Kaksi asked, having dried her tears.

“I’m going to go back to twelve years in the future.”

“Do you think the future will be fixed this time?”

“I hope so,” he said with a little smile.

Kaksi stayed silent for a moment.

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to him anymore,” she said, eyes filling with tears again. “I’ll help you protect Mikey.”

Mikey who she hadn’t talked to in weeks. How terrible she felt, the memory of their fight still fresh in her mind. Takemichi smiled at her, the love Kaksi held for Mikey was always so evident to him but was it as evident to her and Mikey? He couldn’t tell but he hoped he could offer them the happiness they deserved.

Takemichi kept the girl company for a while longer and she promised his secret was safe with her before bidding him goodbye. They weren’t sure they would see each other again before Takemichi next time leapt, so she told him she would be meeting Kazutora and watch out for Mikey as much as she could.

This definitely wasn’t the motivation she had expected Takemichi to have but maybe she had been wrong about him. Takemichi was strong in his own way and a lot of people counted on him. She hoped he would be fine.

---

As days passed, Mikey remained on Kaksi’s mind, but he was usually quickly joined by Kazutora. What was even meant to happen to him? As much as Kaksi wanted to be angry with him, she couldn’t. She missed him already and she knew this was only the start of their troubles but what even was left of their relationship? She was unsure.

Chifuyu said he would be happy to see her and he had also told her about the rage and renewed energy that had taken over Kazutora when Mikey had hit her. She knew he still cared and she did too, so very much. Kaksi’s feelings for Kazutora never faded but she worried if he would ever believe that. All he seemed to think about was Mikey.

Kaksi didn’t know what to expect, making her way to the detention centre. She could feel tears blurring her vision at the thought of Kazutora and her being separated again as well as the reason why. He carried so much guilt that she was worried about how this would affect his fragile mental health more than anything.

She followed the police officers leading her to face her ex-boyfriend nervously. As soon as she saw him behind glass windows she couldn’t prevent her tears from falling. Kazutora watched her quietly, his own eyes filling with tears at the sight of her pain. They didn’t have that unfamiliar glimmer she was scared of and they displayed sadness more than anything else.

What could he ever say to make all this better? He didn’t think there was anything that would.

All Kazutora felt was guilt and regret. He had killed one of the most precious people to him and hurt the dearest to his heart. Kaksi was too kind to visit him especially after what he had done and accused her of. He hadn’t expected her to visit him, he hadn’t expected anyone. He had already felt like he had used all his luck when Draken had delivered Mikey’s message to him, therefore seeing the face of the girl he loved truly felt like one last blessing before his punishment started.

“Kaksi,” he started. “I’m so sorry.”

She didn’t say anything, drying her tears instead as Kazutora’s fell down his cheeks.

“I won’t ask for your forgiveness. You have every right to hate me.”

“You know I could never hate you, Kazutora,” she said with a sad smile.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, then murmured, “You should.”

At that moment Kazutora wished that Kaksi had moved on with Mikey. He didn’t want to be a burden to her anymore, she didn’t deserve any of that.

“How long are they expecting your sentence to be?” she asked, nervously.

“Ten years.”

Kaksi clenched her teeth at the thought, the words repeating in her head. She wanted to scream in frustration but this was probably the best outcome, she was aware. So she decided to hide her distress, not wanting to worry Kazutora.

“It will be lonely without you,” she said. “But I’ll wait.”

Kazutora’s eyes widened in shock.

“What?”

It was as crazy as it sounded. Kaksi would wait for him again.

“I’ll wait for you,” she repeated. “I can do it.”

Kazutora wondered if those words were meant to convince him or herself.

“Kaksi,” he begged. “Don’t do this. I don’t want you to wait for me.”

Those words hurt her.

“What am I supposed to do then?” she asked, voice breaking and tears blurring her vision again.

Kaksi was tired of everything she had ever known falling apart. Baji was dead, Kumi was gone and despite her promise to Takemichi, she didn’t even know if she could fix things with Mikey. She didn’t think she could handle Kazutora leaving her too. Ten years would be torture without him but the idea of one day reuniting with her boyfriend was enough right now to comfort her.

He didn’t know what to tell her. Kazutora had already harmed her so much he wondered if having a proper breakup now wouldn’t be best for her. But seeing her cry despite trying to stay strong he couldn’t afford to break her heart a second time.

“Kaksi, I don’t want you to waste any more time for me,” he explained. “Ten years is a long time. You can’t wait that long, especially not for me.”

The girl took a moment before answering.

“I’m not giving up on you, Kazutora,” she said, a new wave of determination overtaking her. “You said you wouldn’t ask me to forgive you but why? Because you don’t think you deserve my forgiveness or because you don’t want to earn it?”

Kazutora’s sandy eyes widened. Of course he wanted to earn Kaksi’s forgiveness. He would do anything for her.

“Because I don’t think I deserve it.”

“Well that’s up to me to decide, Kazutora,” she replied, her voice colder.

Despite wanting to argue, Kazutora stayed silent.

“If you feel guilty, then fix your mistakes,” she told him. “Get proper rehabilitation and let me help you once you’re out.”

Kazutora gave her a sad smile.

“I will.”

It was a promise that he couldn’t break, he thought. Kazutora hoped that despite her words, Kaksi would move on. He hoped she stayed away from Toman, made new friends, fell in love and pursued the career she wanted to. Whether she was there to welcome him or not when he would come out didn’t matter. Her feelings would fade; they had to. The idea of her moving on with Mikey felt like knives in his stomach but he would not blame her for any decisions she would make without him this time.

“Promise you’ll be happy for the next ten years,” Kazutora demanded.

Kaksi couldn’t guarantee that.

“I’ll try my best, Kazutora,” she said with a little smile.

He smiled back at her before leaving, their meeting ending.  

---

Kaksi couldn’t tell if she was satisfied with their conversation or not but she would be welcoming Kazutora back into her life in ten years, that was a promise to herself. She wondered what other promises she was going to have to make and if she would be able to keep all of them.

The most urgent one was probably watching out for Mikey but in order to do that she needed to mend their relationship. Having been kept busy with school, she was struggling to find the right moment to talk to Mikey and the fact he wouldn’t answer her texts only made her more anxious. What if it was too late? What if he just didn’t want to see her again?

This would not be surprising after their last interaction. She hated that she would rather run away from her problems than confront them head-on. Still, she found some free time on a Saturday afternoon to pay a visit to Mikey.

He beat her to it, however, and it was with confusion that she had found him on his CB250T waiting for her not too far from her apartment block, a Thursday afternoon as Kaksi came back from school alone. She made her way over to him, rather nervously despite it not being visible on her features. Mikey’s deep black eyes didn’t leave her and while he realized he had missed her terribly, this was not what he came to tell her.

They greeted each other more awkwardly than two friends should, but a lot of things had changed since their last interaction.

“I wanted to apologize for what happened at the junkyard,” Mikey said, bowing in front of Kaksi. “I’m sorry I hurt you while you tried to protect Kazutora.”

Kaksi’s brown eyes widened.

“I know you didn’t mean it,” she reassured him. “It was an accident.”

“It doesn’t matter. I hit you.”

She watched as Mikey remained in the same position.

“I forgive you, Mikey,” she told him, not wanting him to feel guilty about it anymore.

He stood straight again, his face expressionless before walking back to his bike. Despite sincerely feeling awful for what he had done to Kaksi he couldn’t help remaining angry. The day Baji died, Mikey would have had to kill Kaksi if he had wanted to kill Kazutora - this was how much she loved Kazutora and not him. This was a selfish thought considering everything that had happened but that realisation hurt Mikey.

Kaksi watched him, even more, confused by his behaviour than when he had first appeared.

“Mikey, wait!” she exclaimed as he started his engine.

She quickly walked over to him, not wanting the conversation to end here.

“I’m sorry for what I said the last time we had lunch together,” she told him. “I di-”

“There’s no need for you to apologise,” he cut her off, coldly. “I know you only care about Kazutora.”

Kaksi looked at him in shock. This was far from true and it angered her to think Mikey believed that.

“This is false,” she protested. “How could you say this?”

Mikey took a moment before answering. He didn’t want to argue with her but this was probably the best way to make sure she would never talk to him again. While it was true that Mikey’s feelings had been hurt, this wasn’t the only thing that drove him to cut Kaksi out of his life so abruptly. Things were getting far too dangerous these days and even he was unsure about Toman’s future. For her safety, he needed to push her away even if it hurt both of them.

“What am I to you, Kaksi?” Mikey asked.

What was she supposed to answer? She didn’t have a clear answer other than her friend but before she could say anything, Mikey spoke again.

“I don’t want to be Kazutora’s placeholder.”

“This is not what you are, Mikey!” she replied, growing frustrated. “You were never Kazutora’s placeholder! You are my friend.”

“Then I don’t think I want to be friends anymore,” he said, the pain he felt was imperceptible at surface level but palpable at his very core.

Kaksi stood in silence and Mikey decided he didn’t have anything else to tell her. So he left, the noise from his engine filling the girl’s ears as he drove away, accelerating as if that would make it all go away. Maybe Kaksi loved him as he loved her, maybe she didn’t. No matter the answer though, Mikey knew he had to keep her safe and that could only be possible by exiting her life, as heartbreaking as it was.

Mikey didn’t drive back home, instead, he kept wandering the streets with his older brother and his childhood friend in his thoughts. What would they think of this?

There wasn’t any other solution, was there?  

---

Heartbroken over Mikey, Kaksi realised that it was one by one that she was losing her friends. The wound Baji had left her was still too fresh and she wondered if loneliness wouldn’t be better, after all. She had spent the following days visiting Kazutora while she still could but his trial had ended quickly and his sentence had already started now.

After that, it felt like everything had started to slow down. Despite spending most of her time studying, Kaksi’s days seemed endless. She didn’t talk to any remaining Toman members except for Chifuyu but she had the feeling that eventually, they would be parting ways too very soon. She assumed Takemichi had time leapt since the last time she had seen him he hadn’t even returned her smile.

She also noticed Chifuyu avoided mentioning the gang at all around her and it became obvious that something was wrong. Kaksi wondered for some time, maybe too long, if she should investigate by herself or not. Eventually, she had decided to talk to Mitsuya, one of the most reasonable people she knew and although he welcomed her warmly and didn’t hold it against her that she hadn’t talked to him in a long time, he only gave her a warning.

Like Chifuyu he looked too exhausted for a middle schooler and it appeared to her that he had matured even faster if it was even possible for someone in his predicament. All he was able to tell her was that Toman was changing and he was confused as to where all of this was heading. She tried to get some answers to her question but Mitsuya told her frankly that she would be better off without knowing.

So it was Yamagishi that she had recognised on her way to cram school that had given her more details about what she wanted to know. As expected the few rumours she had heard were true. Toman had gotten bigger and that involved more trouble, Kisaki was now one of the most influential members and all that mattered now was blood and money.

Kaksi had tried to know what all of this meant exactly but Yamagishi told her that his position didn’t allow him to disclose more information. He had given her a warning too but with new irritation, she had cut him off and left. She didn’t know what to do. Was there anything she could do? In a few months what used to be a kid's playground had turned into one of the most dangerous and feared gangs of Tokyo.

As much as Kaksi still cared for some of its members, she knew when to give up on a pointless battle but before doing that she had to try one last time to spare those she loved.

“Chifuyu, you should leave Toman.”

The boy stayed silent for a moment.

“It’s not that easy,” he told her.

“But it will be harder if you wait.”

“Don’t worry about me, Kaksi,” Chifuyu reassured.

He should know that was impossible.

“Well, I can’t do that. I know you won’t talk about it but Toman changed,” she replied, voice louder as her frustration built up. “These are not people you want to be involved with.”

“I’m aware but I know what I’m doing.”

Chifuyu remained calm but this wasn’t how he felt. He appreciated that Kaksi looked out for him but he could never leave Toman. This was Baji’s legacy and if it wasn’t him, then who would fight for its sake?

Kaksi chuckled, but it was bitterness and pain that had her speaking this time.

“This is what Baji thought too before fucking dying.”

Chifuyu clenched his fists, his patience running thin.

“What do you think you are going to achieve by yourself?” she asked, her words pointed.

Chifuyu’s jaw tensed even further.

“More than you ever will, Kaksi.”

She wasn’t hurt by those words. Chifuyu was right, all Kaksi could do was run away. But some things weren’t worth fighting for.

“I know what all this meant to Baji,” she said with teary eyes. “But he is dead, as painful as it is and you will end up joining him if you’re not careful, Chifuyu.”

This hurt but Chifuyu didn’t expect Kaksi to understand.

“Well then I hope I do,” he replied, coldly. “I’d rather die trying too hard than not trying at all.”

Kaksi chuckled again, a sardonic, almost soulless sound.

“Living then dying for someone that could never return what you gave to them looks painful.”

There was a pause as Chifuyu let those words sink in, and considered exactly how much Baji may have understood his feelings.

“If this is what you think this is then you should leave,” Chifuyu finally answered, angry and hurt.

The girl stayed quiet and decided she had said what she had to. Maybe she had been too harsh, maybe she hadn’t been harsh enough but this was as hard as she would try. She liked to think she was devoted to the ones she loved but she figured she had been wrong. If Chifuyu wanted to live for the ghost of his past then so be it, but this was something Kaksi refused to do.

Still, there was something she was afraid of and that was regrets. Walking away from Chifuyu after warning him was something but giving up without trying was something else which was why abandoning Mikey for good felt different. While he was the one who had ended their relationship, Kaksi thought that maybe she hadn’t been insistent enough. So it wouldn’t be without having him hear her out that she would put Toman behind her for good.

---

Waiting for Mikey to open the door of his home felt like the last goodbye. How stupid Kaksi felt for having told Takemichi that she would help him protect Mikey. Who was she kidding? She was never a hero. Maybe loneliness, grief and sadness killed her empathy or maybe she was just tired, she wasn’t sure.

When Mikey finally opened the door she was afraid he would immediately close it again but he didn’t; his deep black eyes studied her instead. He looked different, to say the least, while his features hadn’t changed, like Kazutora, there was something unfamiliar and slightly frightening about him now. Kaksi had anticipated this, however. She wondered if it was really a stranger she faced now?

“Can we talk, Mikey?” she asked, in a neutral voice, hiding her uneasiness.

“We have nothing to talk about.”

As straightforward as ever, Mikey was ready to close his front door but Kaksi stopped him, blocking the door with her hand and foot, begging him to listen, for once.

“I thought I was clear, last time,” he warned. “Get out of my sight.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Mikey?”

She didn’t expect an answer, she just needed to get her frustration out.

“What are you even doing? Quit pushing me away!” she barked at him. “I just want to help you.”

“I don’t need your help. I don’t need you.”

Mikey’s tone was icy and he remained unimpressed by Kaksi’s outburst. This was so unlike her, he thought still. She was always so calm and composed but he figured that too many things had been testing her patience lately, one of them being him. Her expression remained unchanged at those words and he wondered if it was defeat that he saw in her eyes.

“What a fucking joke Toman is,” she told him, a bitter smile on her lips. “A new age for delinquents? A gang that’s all for one, and one for all? What happened to that? Did it just die with Baji?”

Mikey’s eyes widened slightly but it was almost imperceptible. With one swift movement, he pushed away Kaksi’s arm and had her stumble back.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand,” he snapped at her. “And mind your own fucking business.”

“Fuck you,” Kaksi yelled at Mikey, using all her strength to push him away from her before walking away.

She didn’t want to cry, she was too furious to allow that. Kaksi had so many things to say but she figured it was better to run. Clearly, there was no reasoning with any of her friends.

She did what she could, she would never try again.

[tanyawritesstories]

Caged | Anakin Skywalker x Reader

I've had this fic sitting for a while so it was time I published it. Setting is: Anakin meets the Admiral's wife and falls for her. @anakinswhore I know I've told you about this so here it finally is 😊

Word count: 4,629

Warnings: fluff, blood, mentions of smut, intimate touching, fighter crash, space battles, I suppose I should put infidelity too

•••

The sound of the ship’s guns fueled your feet to run faster. The adrenaline was already pumping through your veins and you weren’t even in a ship yet. You continued your mad dash to the bridge of the Resolute, dodging pilots and officers, a smile plastered on your face. You finally reached the doors, stopping to smooth your dress and fix your hair. You didn’t want to look like you’d just been running half way across the ship at full speed. You took a few breaths to try and calm your nerves, once convinced you looked proper you entered the bridge. Your eyes widening at the scene through the massive viewports. Your feelings were a mixture of horror and awe. There was a huge battle going on outside, pilots on both sides firing nonstop blasts of red and blue energy. Clone officers were scurrying around communicating with the pilots outside and providing a constant stream of information to Admiral Yularen who stood giving orders and observing the chaos. You walked closer to the viewports, mesmerized.

“Darling what are you doing up here?”

You turned to see your husband walking to your side. “I just wanted to see what was going on,” you explained, “Is there any way I can help?”

Admiral Yularen reached you and took your hands in his, “I’m afraid not, my dear. The men have this under control.”

Just as he finished saying that the force of a ship blowing up a little too close to the viewports shook the bridge. You grabbed onto your husband's arm and he put his arms around you in a protective way.

“What’s going on out there?” He asked. “We’re losing men, sir,” a clone officer reported. Your husband slowly let go of you once he made sure you had your footing. “Get General Skywalker up here!” He ordered. “Right away, sir.”

“I can help,” you chimed in. “It’s far too dangerous,” he answered, crossing the room. You followed him, “Wullf, please. You know I can help, let me help,” you begged. “There is no need,” he said, turning to you, “Skywalker will be up here soon and he can manage it.” “But what if he’s not enough,” you suggested.

“Trust me, my dear, he will be.”

Just after that the bridge doors opened again to reveal a man clad in dark Jedi robes, messy brown hair and striking blue eyes.

You had never met Anakin Skywalker before, in fact this was the only time you were allowed on the war front. You had heard your husband talk about him, from the way he talked you could tell that Skywalker must be somewhat of a pain in the ass. But your husband did respect him and the fact that he got things done, even though he may not like the way he goes about getting them done.

“Ah, General Skywalker, just in time, we’ve got quite a mess on our hands,” Wullf addressed the General. “I can see that Admiral,” he said with an amused look, “I assume that means you need my help to clean it up.”

“If it’s not too much trouble,” your husband said sternly, you could tell he was irked. You bit your lip and looked away to try and keep yourself from laughing as you stood at his side. “Well, it won’t be easy with the small amount of pilots we have left, but I’ll do my best,” Skywalker affirmed. You couldn’t keep quiet this time.

“See, that’s how I can help! My fighter is in the hangar, I can easily jump in and help lessen the number of droids out there,” you rambled. Your husband gave you a stern look and you shrunk back a little. “And who might you be?” Anakin asked with a smile. Wullf put an arm around your back, “General, allow me to introduce my wife: (Y/n) Yularen. (Y/n), this is Jedi General Anakin Skywalker.”

Anakin reached out his hand and you took it, he brought your hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly. You couldn't be much older than him, quite young to be married to the Admiral who was much older than you. “A pleasure, m’lady,” he said. Your cheeks flushed slightly at his actions, “The pleasure is all mine and call me (Y/n) if you don’t mind.” Anakin nodded in acknowledgment. “Are you a pilot?” He asked. “One of the best in my opinion,” your husband answered, “She has quite the reputation on our home planet, but I thought it best for her safety to keep her out of the war.”

Your face hardened and you looked away again. You knew Wullf loved you but he was keeping you from using your natural talents to help save lives, something you desperately wanted to do. It felt wrong that you just sat in your comfortable home all day knowing there were people out there fighting and dying to keep you safe. Not to mention your husband putting himself at risk too. That was why you had begged and pleaded with him to bring you along on his latest campaign, an idea he wasn’t too fond of. You had listed all the reasons you had behind wanting to and promised you wouldn't get in the way but you would help wherever you could. After pestering him for three days, he finally relented and let you come along.

“I think you made a wise choice, Admiral,” Anakin stated. You rolled your eyes. Great, another person who thought you were some damsel in distress who couldn’t hold her own in a fight. “However,” Anakin started, your attention being drawn back to him “Considering the circumstances I would be very grateful for her assistance.” Your husband’s jaw dropped, “You can’t be serious? It’s a war zone out there! She could be killed!” You stood in front of your husband and put your hands on his chest in an attempt to calm him down.

“Wullf, I’ll be fine. Did you forget that I was the one defending our property and myself from pirates and bounty hunters while you were gone? Have I ever failed? Have I ever been hurt?”

He sighed, “No, you haven’t. I just wish there was some way I could protect you.” “You can,” you smiled, “I’ll be flying outside, you know what my ship looks like, you can keep an eye on me.”

“If it’s any consolation, Admiral, I can send my padawan out there, she can keep an eye on your wife,” Anakin offered. He looked between you and Anakin, making up his mind. “It would make me feel better, yes. Alright, you can go, but be careful,” he warned.

A huge smile spread across your face and you threw your arms around Wullf’s neck. You pulled back and gave him a big kiss on the lips, his eyes widening in shock as he tried to process your reaction. You pulled away before he could even think of kissing you back and ran to the door,

“C’mon no time to waste, let’s go!” Anakin watched you run to the door, his eyebrows high up on his face, just as shocked as the Admiral at your outburst. He turned to face the stunned man. “She’s your wife?” He asked with disbelief. “C’mon Skywalker no time to lose, the men need our help!” Anakin smiled and joined you at the door. “Don’t do anything reckless!” Wullf called. “No promises,” you and Anakin replied at the same time. You both laughed before running out the door, leaving your husband shaking his head and already regretting his decision.

You ran alongside Anakin as you both dashed to the hangar. He was a little surprised that you could keep up with him considering you were wearing a baggy floor length dress. A dress, how were you going to fly in that?

“I don’t know how you’re going to fly in that,” he addressed, looking at your dress. You stopped running, Anakin stopping a few feet ahead of you. “No worries,” you said. You undid the back of your dress and let it fall to the floor, revealing the pilot jumpsuit and gear you had been wearing underneath it. Anakin stared, impressed. You picked the dress off the floor and threw it into a nearby maintenance room. “Good to go,” you said and began running again. He watched you run for little before catching up with you, he liked you a lot already.

You were about halfway there when Anakin tapped the comm device on his wrist. “Ahsoka, I need you in the hangar.” A spritely voice responded through the device, “Already there, master. The last of our pilots are heading out.” “Good, I’ll be down there soon.”

You and Anakin made it to the hangar and he led the way over to a couple of Jedi fighters. There was a young Togruta girl talking to a high ranking clone in blue armor who promptly ran to his men after she motioned to them. You and Anakin approached and she turned to face you.

“Are we all set, Ahsoka?” He asked. “Yep,” she chirped, she noticed you and curiously looked you up and down. “This is (Y/n), Admiral Yularen’s wife,” Anakin introduced. “I didn’t know the Admiral was married,” she replied. “Neither did I but according to him she’s quite the pilot and she wants to help, I need you to keep an eye on her.” Ahsoka looked taken aback. “Hey, why me? If she’s as good as he says she is can’t she look out for herself.” Anakin’s eyes narrowed at her for a second, “I’m sure she doesn’t, but I promised the Admiral we’d both keep an eye on her.” She crossed her arms, “ok.” You liked her, she reminded you of yourself at that age.

“Don’t worry about me Ahsoka, I can handle myself,” you assured. “I’ll see you out there.” You began jogging to your ship and Anakin soon caught up to you. “Mind if I take a look at your ship? It won’t take long.” You agreed and jogged to your ship.

It was an interesting looking thing, definitely customized. It held the same shape as his Jedi fighter but with three extending wings on each side, there was a blaster cannon at the end of each wing. There was a green and orange astromech on the front right side just above two holes that looked like they were for missiles.

“Wow,” he said, “Where’d you get it?”

“I made it,” you answered. “I took parts from about 50 different ships and threw it all together to make this beauty. Three wings on each side, the top and bottom ones flare out, the middle one is stationary,” you moved to the back of the ship and Anakin followed you. “This compartment down here contains droppable bombs and seismic charges.” “Where did you get weaponry like this?” Anakin questioned. “When your husband is in the military it’s not too hard,” you informed him with a smirk. You moved to the front, “The holes here are for missiles, tracking torpedoes, and occasionally Ion shot. And, of course, you have my R9 astromech in front.”

Anakin was impressed, beyond that, hearing you talk about your ship with knowledge and admiration was incredibly attractive. More so, it was hot. He wondered for a moment how you ended up marrying someone as boring and serious as Admiral Yularen when you were so clearly his opposite.

“An R9, huh? Where did you come by one of those?” You placed your hand on the droid's head. “Traded an old ship for him, he wasn’t in the greatest shape when I got him, so I polished him up, added some new parts and now he’s good as new.” You said proudly. Anakin crossed his arms and smirked at you, “Impressive, can’t wait to see you in action.” He winked at you and took off to get in his own ship.

You found yourself blushing again and you climbed into your ship. The cockpit closed and you powered up the ship by pressing a number of buttons and switches. You opened your comm channel and could hear the other pilots communicating. You raised your dual steering handles and the ship lifted into the air. With a turn and twist you were shooting out into space. You flipped a switch and the wings on your fighter fanned out, the guns were ready to go. The battle came to you the second you were out the hangar doors, you swerved and dodged avoiding the bullets being shot your way. The familiar tingle of adrenaline started coursing through your veins making the hair on your arms stand up.

Go time.

You thrusted the handles forward and rocketed into the fray. “The cavalry has arrived, boys,” you heard Anakin say over the channel. You smirked and picked out your targets heading for two vulture droids that were chasing another pilot. You pulled up behind them and easily shot them both down, picking out four more targets. You swept under the pilot you saved and sped to take down the others. After taking out at least a dozen droids in only a few minutes, the clone pilots had noticed you.

“Who is that?” You heard one of them ask. “It’s (Y/n) Yularen at your service, thought you boys could use some help out here,” you answered. “It’s appreciated, sir,” another pilot answered. Ahsoka and Anakin kept a lookout for you though you were proving you most definitely did not need it.

~~

It had been at least an hour and you were no closer to winning. You had shot down 76 droid fighters but they just kept coming. "We need to take down those enemy cruisers or we'll never win this battle," you said.

"If you have any ideas let us know!"

You quickly thought of something you hoped would work. "Bridge, patch me through to the Admiral," you requested. "On it, sir." After a couple seconds your husband's voice came over the comm, "(Y/n), you doing alright out there?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I have an idea on how to take out those cruisers." There was silence on the other end, "I'm listening." "Ok, my seismic charges will blow through anything. If I can get close enough, I can drop a few and take out one of the cruisers."

"Tell me you're not serious," he replied, "That's a death wish!"

"No," you bargained, "I can get past their defenses and take one out, I know I can!” “(Y/n), reinforcements are on their way, just wait-” “But Wullf I can finish this!” You pleaded. “No!,” he snapped, “You’ll stay near the ship and take out the smaller fighters, that is an order!”

Your mouth opened in shock, he had never ordered you to do anything and never used that tone of voice with you either. It sent a twinge of pain through your chest, your eyes brimmed with tears but you quickly blinked them away. “Yes, sir,” you answered, sadness in your voice.

Anakin was angry, plain and simple. He knew you had the power and ability to end this battle and your husband wasn’t letting you. To add to that, Anakin could tell that you wanted to help more than anything, and it was awful to hear the Admiral yell at you over the comm channel. But what had sealed the deal and made Anakin seethe was your reply, your tone clearly betraying that you were on the verge of tears and hurt by your husband’s words. He saw your ship turn and continue to shoot down droids, staying within the vicinity of the bridge viewport. He was being too controlling, not letting you be who you wanted to. Anakin liked you, maybe a tad too much.

About several minutes passed and you noticed another thing coming from the enemy cruisers. Bombing ships. They started flying towards the surface and you knew exactly what their plan was.

"Those bombers are heading for the surface," You called out, "I'm going after them."

"No! (Y/n), stay up here," Wullf said. "I don't have a choice," you turned your ship to follow the bombers. "(Y/n), I'm warning you-" You clicked off your comms and shoved your control handles forward, heading full speed towards the bombers and the surface of the planet.

Meanwhile, Anakin was witnessing the panic on the comm channel. The Admiral was shouting your name, wondering why you weren't answering. Other pilots and officers were responding saying you'd turned off your comms. Your husband was trying to order some of the pilots to go after you, but he had a better idea.

"Admiral, I'll go after your wife and bring her back safe. Ahsoka, stay up here and help. Make sure Obi-Wan gets here and those droids are taken out." He flicked a couple switches and followed after you. "Will do, Master," Ahsoka responded.

~~

You shot towards the surface, hot on the trails of the four bombers. You pulled up close behind one and lowered your ship. You targeted the bomber in front of the last one and fired a torpedo. Your weapon hit its target and exploded, taking out the last ship. You dodged and followed the other two ships into the planet's atmosphere. You aimed and easily shot down the second to last one. You aimed again but the droid bomber gave chase and you followed it across the surface of the planet, taking sharp turns and spins. Finally, you had it in your sights. You focused on your targeting computer and waited until the lights blinked then fired. Torpedos shot out and the ship burst into a cloud of fire and metal.

“Woo!” You celebrated. A sudden blast rocked your ship and looked behind to see another enemy ship had followed you. You went to turn but it was too late, the droid shot at your engines and they immediately caught fire. Your ship hit the ground and one of the wings caught on a boulder sending your ship spiraling along the ground, tossing you around in the cockpit. You tried to stabilize yourself but it was impossible, your head hit the metal of a control panel and your vision went black.

Anakin saw the droid fighter take its shot and the instant fire in your engines. He fired and took out the fighter just in time to see your ship rolling along the ground headed right towards a huge cliff. He ejected himself out of his ship and landed on the ground, holding out his hands to stop your ship from rolling over the edge. He stopped it upright and ran to it, climbing on top. He looked inside and saw you slumped over in your seat unconscious with blood covering the left side of your face. He ripped the hatch off with the force and gently took your body in his arms. The movement shook you back awake and you clung to Anakin as he lifted you out of the burning ship.

“Can you walk?” He asked. “I think so,” you responded, wincing.

Anakin put your arm around his shoulders and you both moved to get away from the ship. You were going as fast as you could when there was a huge explosion behind you and Anakin shoved you to the ground, covering your body with his and also trying not to crush you. You held onto him for dear life until he said it was safe to get up. The first thing you saw was what little remained of your ship, flames and hunks of metal scattered around, it kind of made you sad.

“I’m gonna miss that ship, she served me well,” you reminisced. “Let’s get away from this, we need to get you patched up somehow,” Anakin addressed. Your legs were jelly and he kindly offered you his arm for support.

Now that you were calm you could actually take in your surroundings. The top of the plateau you were on was a meadow, the grass wasn’t too long and there were flowers growing throughout. There was a tree line not far away and a decent sized stream that ran out from the trees and tumbled down the cliff. You were vaguely aware of your injury, the pain hadn’t set in yet and you hoped Anakin could get it dressed before that happened.

“Let's sit you down right here,” Anakin said, he took hold of your arms and lowered you to the ground. “I have bacta patches in this,” you pulled a small container off your belt and handed it to him. He gently dabbed at the blood and pain shot through you. You grabbed his arm and bit your lip to try and keep from crying out. He apologized and continued cleaning the wound. You sighed and Anakin could sense you were upset but it wasn’t about the injury you had sustained.

“Wullf will not be happy when he finds out I got hurt,” you pondered, “I’ve never crashed in my life.” Anakin couldn’t stop the words that came out of his mouth.

“Do you care if he’s happy?”

“Excuse me?”

Well, there was no going back now. “It seems to me like he gets in your way a lot,” Anakin said as he applied the bacta patch. “No, he just.. well, yes but.. he thinks he’s doing the right thing.”

Anakin lowered his hands from your head but your hands stayed on his arm. You noticed and took your hands away, “I should comm him and tell him I’m alright.” Anakin removed the comm device on his wrist and handed it to you. “Here, use mine.” You smiled and thanked him, getting the device working in seconds. Your husband answered and you told him you were alright and that Skywalker was with you.

“Good, that makes me feel somewhat better. General Kenobi is here and as soon as we end this battle we’ll send a gunship down to get you,” Wullf informed. “Sounds good,” you replied, making sure to sound happy, “He and I have plenty of resources around us, we’ll be fine.”

“That’s good to hear, you’re not hurt are you?” You paused and looked at Anakin to find him already looking at you, curious as to what you’d say. “Nothing but a few scratches, darling,” you reassured, “Stay focused, I’ll see you soon.” You clicked off the device and exhaled a sigh of relief, handing it back to Anakin. You mumbled an ‘excuse me’ and stood up, walking a few meters away to sit next to the stream and splash water on your face. Everything was slowly hitting you now, you had disobeyed your husband and nearly gotten killed, your ship was destroyed and Anakin’s had gone off the cliff while trying to rescue you, and the only emotion you could find for the whole situation was anger.

“Do you lie to him often?” You turned to see Anakin standing a few feet away. “I try not to, but he gets distraught over me easily.” Your anger came to the point of not caring who you were talking to, you needed to let it out.

“I don’t understand how he can boss me around like I’m one of the officers he commands? I’m his wife! Yet all he does is toss me in a dark corner and tell me not to move. It’s unfair! I want to be out, in space, flying and fighting. I know I can help, I know I can do more but he just won’t let me!” You ranted. You leaned your back against a large rock and huffed, “I just don’t understand.” Anakin sat down next to you, “You’re a wild one,” he observed, “and Yularen is trying to tame you.”

Anakin was still, if not more, angry at the Admiral, but right now he just felt sorry for you. You were like him: reckless, energetic, adventure seeking; he didn’t understand why the Admiral wouldn’t want someone like you. Anakin knew he did, and he knew your husband was treating you wrong. He couldn’t help but think how much better he would treat you if you were his.

“I just always feel limited, like I can’t do anything I want to do,” you continued to rant, “I want to fight in the war, and fly to as many planets as I can, and go galavanting after evildoers. He doesn’t let me do anything like that.” Anakin took your hand in his, “You feel like you’re in a cage, don’t you?” Your lips parted and you began to calm down, “Yes, exactly.” He moved his hand from yours to rest it on your knee, “I’m sorry.”

You unzipped the front of your pilot jumpsuit down to your stomach and opened it a little, allowing for air flow to your upper body. You didn’t care that you were only wearing a bra underneath it, you trusted Anakin and you liked him, a lot. You both had so much in common and the thought of him being your husband instead of Wullf passed through your head briefly. You knew it was wrong, but you were drawn to Anakin, he had everything you wanted.

The fact that he was now at a near perfect angle to see the cleavage you just exposed did not help Anakin’s current situation. He was already falling for you, the thoughts of stealing you from the Admiral now passing through his mind without shame. You had already stirred his system earlier when you were swaying around your ship, proudly showing it off. Even while you were angrily ranting about how your husband doesn’t treat you right, all Anakin could focus on was your flushed face and how your chest was rising and falling between breaths. You were hot when you were mad and he would be lying if he said it didn’t go straight to his groin.

Now he was staring unashamedly at your breasts while you looked off into the distance. He couldn’t resist and began slowly moving his hand up until it was resting on your thigh. Your thinking was interrupted by the sensation of fingers dancing on your inner thigh. It was pleasant and sent tingles through your legs and abdomen. You looked at Anakin and his face flashed with panic as he quickly removed his hand.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No,” you cut in, “Please, don’t stop.” Anakin’s eyes darkened and he moved closer so your shoulders were touching, you sounded so desperate, like you had been deprived of touch for years. He put his hand on your cheek and pulled your face closer to his. He looked between your lips and your eyes, silently asking for consent which he found when you nodded. He pulled you to him and your lips connected in a heated exchange. Oh how wrong you knew this was, but you were addicted first try. Anakin tasted like mint and sweat and you were hooked. His hand moved from your cheek downwards, he found your breast and squeezed lightly. His actions sent heat directly to your core and you moaned into his mouth. Anakin broke away and observed your reaction, your eyes were clouded with lust and he could sense just how much you wanted him.

“When was the last time he touched you?” Anakin wondered. “Our wedding night, a year and two months ago,” you confessed. “That’s a long time to go without any special attention,” he spoke, voice smooth, “I bet you need some, huh?”

You whimpered out a yes. “You want freedom don’t you?” He pushed the top of your jumpsuit off your shoulders. “Come here, I’ll show you what freedom tastes like.”