#girl in red is becoming a bonding moment between me and 12 year old me

[klutzytomb]

this just in: boy who claims to want to expand music taste caught listening to the music from 8th grade again

[greensaplinggrace]

do you have any darklina fic recs?

I certainly have a few! But first I want to clarify that I don’t really read fic when I’m writing it, and since I have so many fics in the works right now, I haven’t really been reading a lot of fanfiction. So this list probably won’t be as extensive as it could be.

Here are some other great fic recommendation posts, however:

DARKLINA FIC RECS by @vicioux

DARKLINA FIC RECS // part ii by @vicioux

Darklina Ruling the World Together Fic Recs by @clubofthestarlesssaint

Tumblr Ficlets

Aleksander’s First Memory by @kestrafagnor

Fivan Talk About Darklina by @jomiddlemarch

a little light in the great, big dark by @valkyrhys

Alina tells Mal she’s with Aleksander by @lorsanbitch

Darklina week day 5: intimacy & touch by @starlesscne

AO3 Fanfiction

if it ain’t me by larry_hystereks (Incomplete - 10/13 Chapters)

alina’s in her second year at Yale when she meets aleksander at one of his frat parties.

a hookup with the potential for more, only if alina wasn’t still struggling to piece herself together from last year’s breakup.

or: alina, zoya, their trust issues, and the men that fall for them

---

I’m only at about chapter 6 of this fic currently, but so far it’s one of my all time favorite Modern AUs. The characterization for Alina and Aleksander is incredibly well done, and the entire fic itself is so feminist and queer in such a refreshing way. Aleksander and Alina are bisexual as fuck, both with their own separate complex lives, and much of Alina’s own traumas and relationships are explored outside of Aleksander.

There’s some Zoyalina, with Nikolina friendship and endgame Zoyalai. There’s some mystery and some tension, but nothing too extreme, and a lot of the fic is merely an exploration in growth and overcoming one’s history and learning how to move on in healthy ways. I love it.

She Wears a Collar (With My Name) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

She is immortal, and whatever lingering hints of humanity she may have once had have long been bleached from her heart.

I will grant you one wish, boy, if it is in my power to do so. What does a Shadow Smith most want?

"You," he answers.

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 2: Role Reversal

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This piece is just exquisite. This author’s writing style is one that I particularly enjoy. Their stuff is always so uniquely composed and crafted, and this one especially is a work of art. The way Darklina as a relationship is portrayed in particular is fascinating to me because it’s a role reversal but it’s still so complex. Aleksander’s character is nailed.

the bright sun was extinguish’d by athousandwinds (Complete)

Somewhere, deep in the dark forests of Ravka, a boy grows up on stories of Sankta Alina of the Wastes, the Sun-Scorched Saint.

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This fic is just straight up magnificent. It’s so engaging and I love love love the way a role reversed Aleksander who joins the army is portrayed. He reminds me so much of Demon in the Woods Aleksander, as if he’s exactly what a grown version of that young boy would be. When I say I adore his characterization in this I’m not lying.

If I wanted any completed fic I’ve read to have a second chapter, it would be this one.

Winter in the Little Palace by redisxwing (Complete)

Written for Yuletide 2020.

Baghra and Alina's wildly different perspectives on the Darkling, and how things could have gone if nobody listened to Baghra.

Warning: Baghra is written as a harsh and arguably abusive parent, and this is darkfic about that relationship, with a side of shipping. Everything is terrible (except the parts that are pretty much okay).

Canon divergence pretty much as soon as Alina gets lessons in summoning.

This fic is likely not compatible with King of Scars (or any subsequent work).

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As is said in the summary, this one makes Baghra a bit more extreme. If you’re a fan of Baghra, this fic probably isn’t for you. But since I’m not a fan of Baghra, I had no problems with it.

My biggest praise for this fic is in regards to the character interactions and the POVs. There’s a brilliant grasp of unique perspective and how to convey it, and that talent is carried over into the way character interactions are brought to life in the text. Also, there’s a scene where Alina gets kind of protective of the Darkling, which is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to Darklina.

Good Ideas by FelixRivers (Complete)

Alina Starkov had a very good idea. Aleksander Morozova would definitely agree. (or: Alina wants to go camping and Aleksander won't complain)

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This fic is just straight up adorable and hilarious. They’re such a cute couple and Alina’s POV is great. It’s just pure fluff and humor 💕

I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you by SanktaJenya - @sankta-arya (Complete)

Winter had been hard on Old Baghra and Ana Kuya was worried about her, so she decided that Alina should make the trip to her cottage on the other side of the woods to bring her some food and kvas. On her way there, Alina meets a stranger...

Darklina Red Riding Hood/Company of Wolves AU

Darklina Week, Day 4, Fairytales

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This fic has a splendid grasp of tension and atmosphere. It’s very enchanting and dark and intriguing, and it nails those aspects with absolute precision. I love the style and the way the fairytale is incorporated into the narrative. It’s truly a masterpiece.

The Wretched by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“We are strangers, but I want to help.” He growls at her, mocking and mistrustful. “I understand,” she said. “You think I am one of them. I certainly look like one of them. But I want to help you. Will you let me?” Prompt: fairytale. Alina saves a dragon.

---

Okay so I’ve mentioned this one before as one of my Top 5 fics of all time and I still stand by that. I can’t even describe why I love this fic so much except that the pacing is amazing and the prose is stunning and the story is beautiful. Aleksander is a dragon and Alina is a witch, and their relationship is just so...interesting and fascinating and lovely. I would literally kill for this fic. There’s such a softness to it as well. Such a tenderness. Idk, I just really love it.

Show Me Who You Are (I Want To Know) by Ceris_Malfoy (Incomplete - 12/?)

Alina takes her future in her own hands and makes her own decisions.

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This is a great “what if Alina had stuck around after the reveal” rewrite. It doesn’t have Mal bashing and in fact still writes them as close friends, which is something I’m fond of in Darklina fics. Aleksander is allowed to be soft and Alina is allowed to be powerful, and I really enjoyed the take on their dynamics as a power couple wherein Alina is given a lot of control.

There’s something to be said for the way Aleksander is written in the scenes where he must be honest and earnest with Alina. I really enjoy the way they both come to equal ground, and I’m even more fond of the way Alina is allowed to grow darker without losing her light. She also engages a lot with quite a few other characters, developing tons of friendships and alliances on her own that help strengthen her as an individual character.

on this bridge between starshine and clay by @rhea-imagined (Complete)

"His breath narrows for a moment, his fist clenched tight before he forces himself to loosen it. She is his only opportunity for salvation, but vulnerability is not a cape he wears easily. “In those days, there was less prejudice against Shadow Summoners. But everyone fears the dark, in one way or another.” He does not look at her as he waits for the penny to drop, half-hoping it stays suspended in the air."

In which Alexander comes clean to Alina and tells her about his true identity in hopes that this will help convince her to take down the Fold.

A rewrite of the fountain scene in episode four, with a good!Darkling that is trying to make amends.

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This is my all-time favorite good!Aleksander AU. He’s kept in character despite the major changes made to his motivations, and Alina is given a lot more agency in her own story. It’s the first fic in what might become a series, but it can stand alone beautifully.

I love how Aleksander and Alina’s relationship is allowed to grow tense without breaking, and how it’s a clear sign of change but not abandonment. I love how both characters are able to think for themselves and become self-aware and are given the chance to think critically. I love the character interaction so much because it’s honest and fresh and engaging. Everything from the smallest action to the most off-hand thought is in character and meaningful and incorporated with an amazing style of writing. It’s a very refreshing piece, and the writing only makes it that much better.

Bunnies of a Feather Stitch Together by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Just as Alina called to the light, gathering and twisting it into a ball in her hands, the door swung open.

Kirigan blacked out the door frame. His appearance enough would have surprised Alina, but there was something clutched in his arm, something dark and floppy. It almost looked like the stuffed toys that had been passed around to the younger Orphans." - Alina and The Darkling bond over a love of soft things

---

Soft stuffed animal shenanigans. Bits of trans!Aleksander, which I’m very fond of, as well as just a lot of fluff with a bit of something bittersweet and sad in a good way.

Half Lie by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Baghra always talked of the demon that had stolen her daughter." Or, Alina learns the hard way that the Darkling isn't the only one who deals in half-truths

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This one is trans!Aleksander, and it handles it in a very interesting way. It’s quite sad, and deals a lot with Baghra & Aleksander’s relationship through Alina’s POV. I want to give a warning for transphobia, because it does center around that a lot as the premise, but it really is worth the read if that isn’t a trigger for you. This is one of my favorite trans!Aleksander fics, and the way it handles emotion and grief and pain is quite extraordinary.

The CEO and Helioseismologist by mrthology (Complete)

Aleksander Morozova doesn't get sick. He's the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world, one that he had built from the ground up with blood, sweat, and tears. He exercised daily (usually), maintained a healthy diet, and kept himself fit.

He wasn’t sick.

Too bad no one believed him. And too bad Genya decided to call Ivan to take him home before also calling Alina to take care of him.

Maybe, just maybe, being sick wasn't so bad. Especially not when he has such a wonderful girlfriend.

---

Both of the fics in this series are great, but I love this one in particular because I’m an absolute sucker for hurt/comfort. Anyone who’s been on my blog for a while knows that it’s my all time favorite trope to read, and this fic fits the hurt/comfort trope to a T in the best of ways. It’s very tender and in character, and Aleksander and Alina are so soft with each other. It’s adorable and really makes you feel for Aleksander, and the caretaking is done perfectly.

All the different layers of dark (thousand little suns) by Anuna (Complete)

One month after the Winter Fete, Aleksander returns to the Little Palace, and Alina has been missing him.

Or

Episode five canon divergence in which Alina had never left Os Alta.

---

This one is soft emotional hurt/comfort smut. They’re both so open and vulnerable with each other, and it’s so beautiful to read. I love the writing style and the emotion in this one. It makes my heart ache in the best way.

An Honourable Man by liviy695 (Complete)

A reimagining of the scene after the winter fete. Alina catches a glimpse of a caring Darkling after he returns from integrating the Conductor. Plus, no Baghra interference.

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This one is what it says on the tin, in that Baghra doesn’t interfere and they’re allowed to talk after the Darkling interrogates the Conductor. But more than that, it’s a great imagining of how a scene where Aleksander reveals Marie’s death would have gone. There’s a sort of quiet to it that I appreciate, with grief and solemnity weighed against care and vulnerability.

I see the real you (even if you don’t, I do) by Anonymous (Incomplete - 8/?)

A series of questionable decisions lead Alina to meet the Black General a bit earlier. Butterfly effect ensues.

---

I’ve only read half so far (I hadn’t realized it had updated!! 👀👀) but I’m already in love with this fic. Alina’s dialogue and perspective is perfect, her relationship with Mal and the other cartographers is great, and I really enjoy how much personality she has. Aleksander is so smitten, but more than that, his characterization is soft but not weak. It feels almost as if he’s swept up by Alina, instead of the other way around, and I quite like that.

Of parenting by Anuna (Complete)

Alina finds out how her husband handled yet another parenting situation.

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This is pure adorable Darklina parenting fluff and I live for it. Yet it doesn’t lack depth and in fact explored Alina and Aleksander’s relationship with parenting quite well.

i have a longing by LRCee - @ladylyannastark (Complete)

“So, Alina Starkov, risk-taker, how did you end up being editing’s newest wunderkind?”

Alina Starkov is rising in the publishing world. Singlehandedly responsible for editing (see: rewriting) the hottest book of the year, she lands a coveted spot at Morovoz Publishers. It's the position she's always wanted, at the biggest publishing house in the country. Life is perfect. That crush on her boss though, that's gotta go.

---

OKAY! I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH!! Let me tell you, as someone who is not too fond of Boss/Employee dynamics, I was very wary going into this fic. But boy did it deliver in a way that was perfect for me.

The relationship that develops between Aleksander and Alina is complex but healthy, and it never feels as if there’s too much of a power imbalance or anything that would make Alina feel forced or unhappy. The tension lies purely in how she fears others will perceive her, and not in how unhealthy her relationship with Aleksander is. For somebody who’s often attracted to unhealthy ships, I have to say that my favorite fics are usually ones that don’t have that type of dynamic between the characters. This fic delivers on that.

Also, Aleksander’s POV surrounding his struggle with his Russian heritage and his feelings for Alina is amazing, and has some of the best writing and characterization I’ve seen.

You receive: an evil demon; I receive: human souls by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

The next morning while she tried to tell herself it was a dream, that of course there wasn’t a fucking demon in her house, she found a note taped to her fridge.

“You might eat this shit,” it had written, “but I would like some fucking souls please.”

Darkling Week Prompt 7: free choice. Alina has a demon in her house.

This is absolute crack, and I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me.

---

May I just say that this is the most fun I’ve ever had when reading a fic. It’s interesting with a bit of mystery, and Aleksander as a little shit of a demon is hilarious. Alina in this fic is great too. It’s such a unique take on her POV, especially when you reread it after knowing the ending. 10000/10, this fic is brilliant in every way and I love it.

I had been lost to you, Sunlight by BrytteMystere (Complete)

A Girl became a Woman, became a Sankta, became a Goddess.

Or: An Immortal Alina calls upon merzost to reunite with the Prince of Shadows she lost long ago. She may have lost herself in the process.

But then again, maybe time and endless wars did that instead.

---

You really just have to read this one to get it. It is utterly haunting and fascinating in the best of ways. The writing style is strange and novel and fits so well with the story being told. The composition of the fic as a whole is genius.

I Look Inside Myself (And See My Heart Is Black) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"When is a monster not a monster? Why, when you love it, of course."

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 6: Favorite Quote • King & Queen • Monster

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Once more, this author comes through with an absolutely breathtaking writing style and story. The imagery is elegant yet brutal, simultaneously horrifying and glorious. There’s a certain way these stories are written, like fairytales, where the beautiful becomes the macabre and becomes ever more stunning because of it. It’s very dark but in a good way - an almost bewitching way.

Afterlife by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“You are asking me to leave?”

“Not asking, shadow,” she said. “Telling. Time to get unlost, loser.”

Day 3 Darklina Week prompt: Modern AU (I mean, barely)

Alina expels ghosts from purgatory.

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@aceofnowhere once again bringing the best of the paranormal to the Grishaverse. Literally everything you write is amazing idk why I’m even pointing out individual fics when I could just rec your whole page. But anyways!! This is fun and interesting and Alina is a badass. Aleksander is, of course, compelling and dark and kind of a little shit, and it’s all incorporated seamlessly into an existential paranormal narrative.

Once Upon a Shooting Star by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"But most of all, she was drawn to a vast darkness that reached out above all of them, a void so hungry for companionship that she knew she could fulfill."

---

Let. Alina. Be. Feral!! Anyways, I clearly have a type when it comes to storytelling, and it’s whatever the fuck this person has got going on. Feral!Star!Alina is literally the light of my life. Her interactions with not only other people but the world in general are so well done, but my favorite parts about this fic are the numerous ways her relationship with Aleksander is described and depicted.

I love the dark and light imagery, especially with how it’s portrayed as them filling in the gaps of each other’s lives and supporting each other instead of trying to block each other out. There’s such clear passion and joy and love and devotion between them. The central focus of this fic is on her and Aleksander’s relationship, the interplay between them and their powers and the way her light fills his loneliness, the passing of adoration and trust and reliance between them. It’s very beautiful and I love it.

A Blaze of Light by Keira_63 (Complete)

They discover the Sun Summoner in the burnt-out remains of the Shu laboratory in which she has spent the last seven years of her life.

Or, the Darkling finds himself with a Sun Summoner whose greatest wish is to burn Shu Han to the ground. He is happy to oblige her.

---

👀👀 Badass Alina and Badass Aleksander. The ultimate power couple, and Alina burning a path through Shu Han before they both burn a path through the world together. The darkness and rage in this one are handled very well, and the way that rage turns to coldness and then resolve is done so well. This fic is very cathartic and also very furious, and reading it is certainly a trip down emotion lane.

One more for the Road by Rist (Complete)

He returns to the war room shaken, and finds an Alina that cannot leave without at least having tried.

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This one hurts so much but its soooo gooood!!! Very smutty but also very tender and very bittersweet. Sad and soft all at once. I just... love the way Alina and Aleksander are written so much, and Alina’s complicated feelings for him are explored in such detail and depth. This one is truly worth the read.

[lunarfly]

Harmione Essay: Harry growing up without love (written by Flying Phoenix)

Hello! This is an essay written many years ago, before the release of HBP&DH. It doesn't belong to me so credits to the original writer(Flying Phoenix)! It was written on the CoS forum, I'm not sure if it's still saved there but I have a word document with all of the essays. Anyways, this essay has no ship/character bashing. Again, this essay isn't written by me. But I did have to work for around an hour to fix all grammar mistakes to make it easier to read. Enjoy!

It amazes me that people forget that Harry doesn't have parents so easily. This means he never knew them, he couldn't remember them. Harry lived for ten years only with his relatives, the people who had a great dislike against him. It would've been all right if he had found people other than them who liked him since the very day he was born. Let's say: another aunt or an old woman or just a friend, but he'd never had this. He had never known how it felt when people really liked him until the day Hagrid stepped into the room and told him he was a wizard. But the damage was already done. Nobody could take it away, nobody could make this hole in Harry's heart vanish.

Harry has a far stretched idea about his parents. It's simple: the Dursleys didn't like them so this meant they had to be the most wonderful people on the planet. Now comes Hagrid and tells him all this wonderful stuff about his parents. This creates a view about his parents which says they were perfect, they were everything that Harry wanted for all of his life but never had.

On the train Harry found his very first friend. To be honest, it wasn't difficult to become friends with Ron. That's what I think is very interesting. Harry saw how a family worked for the very first time. He had never seen it like that. But here it was again, this perfect family that was all that Harry wanted but never had. At this moment Harry wished he had red hair and was a part of this family for sure. At this moment Harry knew he didn't have a family and thought he wouldn't ever have something like that.

The interesting part comes to play as Hermione steps into Harry's life. Why is that interesting? Because it wasn't easy to become friends with Hermione. To be exact, it needed a 12 feet high troll to get her as his friend. In my opinion, it's interesting how the path of their relationship will be.

Now to the love part - Ron does give Harry a kind of love or supporting but it is very different to what Hermione gives Harry in every single way.

Hermione offers Harry emotional support, she's there for him emotionally. From the very first book it's clear that she likes him and she even tells him this at the end. For someone who has never received such kind and supportive words, not even from Ron or Hagrid, for someone who has never got a real hug, it is something really special. In all 10 years of his life with the Dursleys and his year at Hogwarts Harry didn't get that what Hermione gave him before he faced Quirrel/Snape. She didn't say these words because he was Harry Potter, she said them because he was her best friend. At this moment, a special bond between them was created.

Why create such an emotional bond between Harry and Hermione if JKR doesn't want to use it? From this moment Harry knows Hermione cares about him. From this moment it's implied that Hermione is the one person who can reach him. Even if she annoys him or tells him off, Harry knows every time that she's doing it for him, for his own good. That says that Harry already knows a person who would do everything for him. But not in a way like Ron. I have no doubt Ron would do everything, too but this is different. Hermione would even risk her friendship with Harry for him and that's so selfless coming from someone who, from what we know from PS/SS, has never had real friends. This is huge.

I said nobody could fill this hole in Harry's heart, not even Mrs Weasley, even if she loves him like a son, not even Ron, even if he's been Harry's best friend since the first day. But here comes Hermione into the play.

Because of their bond, because of the fact that Hermione was the first person in Harry's life who has said these amazing things about him and hugged him and even asked him to be careful is she the one who could give him something that Harry has never had.

It's not that Ginny might not be good enough or smart enough, it's simply because of the fact that she can't reach Harry's heart. Hermione can reach it, like she did in their first year. You can't tell me that as Hermione said these things and hugged him she didn't reach him. She was the very first person who did so.

Just imagine that you have never felt love in your life. You've built a wall around you, something that nobody can break through. Behind this wall is your idea about your parents - like a treasure. Now comes a person into your life, a girl, to be exact, who is probably the most interfering person you have ever met and she tells you things that you wished someone had told you for all of your life. This reaches your heart and goes straight through your wall.

Just like this, Hermione created an exclusive path to Harry, something what Ginny won't ever have. Even if she reached him like that in the future, it will always be Hermione who did it first. The special bond will always be with Hermione. See what I mean? JKR already created the fundament of H/Hr in the very first book.

[Here's a part I cut out of the essay because it was a prediction about H/Hr which doesn't come true: it's something that makes me think Harmione will happen. I haven't got doubts that they are only teenagers and won't realize their feelings. No, you seem to forget Harry's part, his lack of something like love. That's the key point which lets me believe that JKR planned H/Hr from the very beginning.]

And there can come thousands of girls and fall for Harry, but none of them will have this path to Harry's heart. That is what I mean when I say Hermione can reach him. Something that Ron, Mrs Weasley, Ginny, Dumbledore, Cho will never be able to do. The only other person - Sirius - he could reach Harry because he was a part of Harrys "treasure", a part of his perfect picture of his parents.

[outbythehighwind]

The Misconceptions of FF7: A Cloud, Aerith & Tifa Analysis Part 3/5

Link to all parts: https://outbythehighwind.tumblr.com/post/640347336477966336/the-misconceptions-of-ff7-a-cloud-aerith-tifa

This post will examine the kind of love that Cloud has for Tifa.

I determined last post that his love for Aerith is that of a true and powerful friendship, but can, in interpretation of the narrative (which, unlike plot, is up for player interpretation), additionally be romantic. Regardless of the interpretation, it does not change the plot – that Cloud is romantically in love with Tifa. My emphasis from the prior post is that friendship, along with Eros (romantic love), is one of the highest forms of love, and its meaning & significance has sadly been lost in the world today. So I once again urge that people forsake this notion of ‘competition’ that one girl must win ‘all’ of Cloud’s affections (which is a betrayal to his character, for not all love need be Eros), and that at the expense of ‘winning’, his relationship with the other is belittled. With that in mind, let us proceed to part 3.

Cloud’s Eros love, in the plot sense of FF7, is Tifa.

“The event of falling in love is of such a nature that we are right to reject as intolerable the idea that it should be transitory. In one high bound it has overleaped the massive wall of our selfhood; it has made appetite itself altruistic, tossed personal happiness aside as a triviality and planted the interests of another in the centre of our being.” – C.S. Lewis (on Eros)

I have already established that Tifa is Cloud’s driving force. The weakness he attributes to himself resulted from his inability to save her at age 9 when they fell off Mt. Nibel’s bridge. His desire for strength came from his desire to be able to protect her, and coupled with his “sealed up secret wish” to win her acknowledgement, 14-year-old Cloud left to join SOLDIER.

The depth of Cloud’s feelings toward Tifa (whatever they may be at this stage) is emphasized in the circumstances: that they were not close and yet at 9 years old he had such strong desire to protect her; that over the next five years – despite their minimal interaction – he fervently held that conviction; and that the conviction grew to the point where, the moment he heard of Sephiroth’s strength (a way for him to act on it), he left to join SOLDIER.

A common misperception is that Cloud only wanted general acknowledgement – from Tifa and the other kids and villagers. He did want general acknowledgement, yes. But let us consider the Lifestream revelation summarized in the 12 screenshots below.

When Tifa asks Cloud why he joined SOLDIER, a dialogue occurs between the Cloud she is speaking to and his inner voice in the white text (his true self that they are presently trying to reach). Note that Cloud’s inner voice only ever speaks to Cloud; nobody else can hear it. Here, ‘real’ Cloud (the voice) says to “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud – ie. Cloud from his inner subconscious says to himself – with both emphasis and exclusivity – “Who? You know who! …You, that’s who.”

“Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud then repeats aloud, “You…” to Tifa.

The context is of the singular person pronoun, in elaboration of Cloud’s statement “someone would notice.”

“You” is exclusively Tifa.

When Tifa is surprised and exclaims why her, Cloud brings up a time in their childhood that she does not recall right away – which he will reveal to be the Mt Nibel bridge incident. Immediately before showing her that memory, ‘little’ Cloud appears (the other manifestation of Cloud’s true self, as I noted earlier). ‘Little’ Cloud invites Tifa into this memory when Tifa engages with “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud again, who reveals a “A sealed up secret… wish… Tender memories no one can ever know.” This wish is his answer to Tifa’s “Me? Why!?”

Cloud still holding this desire at present is evidenced in that it is “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud – rather than ‘little’ Cloud – who states this. ‘Little’ Cloud is able to engage with Tifa. Were it his sealed up secret wish alone – something Cloud had only once desired – then he (‘little’ Cloud), not “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud, would have been the one to tell her.

We are then taken to the specific memory of the day Tifa’s mother died and the accident on the Mt. Nibel bridge; the moment Cloud began his obsession with gaining strength in order for that sealed up secret wish to be realized (as he saw it).

I’ve already discussed his feelings of weakness and failure with regard to protecting Tifa. So I will just point out the last screenshot below in light of the sequence before it, where he says “Then even Tifa would have to notice me…”

Tifa being singled out as the “Who” he wanted to be noticed by has already been confirmed. This statement does not alter that exclusivity. Rather, it is Cloud’s affirmation to himself that his goal will be realized through the means of ‘strength’; if he becomes ‘strong’ then he will be acknowledged by others, he will be worthy – and surely then, even Tifa would have to notice him.

Cloud promised to be Tifa’s personal “hero”. What he has already resolved to strive for becomes a binding, personal promise between them – having resulted from, to his surprise, Tifa’s suggestion. This promise is both the heart of the entire internal plot (saving Cloud) and what brings Cloud and Tifa into the external plot (saving the Planet).

“Hero” to Cloud is synonymous with “SOLDIER”. “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud therefore feels enabled to keep the promise, and joins AVALANCHE (and the fight for the Planet) with the sole primary purpose, as it had always been, of protecting Tifa.

Even while Cloud’s ‘real’ self is trapped in his subconscious and his memory is muddled, Tifa’s uniquely distinct importance to him is enforced throughout “Ex-SOLDIER’s” journey. Alongside this is the emphasis of his reliance on her – that Cloud, striving to be strong for Tifa, sees Tifa as his source of strength.

He hopes in himself because Tifa knew him.

He trusts only Tifa in what is true pertaining to himself.

It is when Sephiroth breaks through the trust between them that Cloud’s entire identity shatters (both “Ex-SOLDIER” Cloud and ‘real’ Cloud are lost). Sephiroth plays to Tifa’s confusion surrounding Cloud’s identity and her doubt in her own memories that do not align with Cloud’s. It is when she cannot give Cloud an answer that Sephiroth is able to convince Cloud of the lie that he is not the “Cloud of Nibelheim” she grew up with – synonymous with him not being Cloud the being at all.

Sephiroth, whilst successfully manipulating Cloud, is still threatened by their bond. He keeps an illusion over Cloud where Cloud cannot hear Tifa’s voice as she screams for him to not hand over the Black Materia. Later, Cloud will hear her voice above the cries of all souls within the Lifestream.

In the Lifestream, Cloud and Tifa cry out to one another simultaneously and Cloud draws her into his subconscious. This is revealed in both versions of their night under the Highwind, and is thus an emphasized plot matter – the big difference being that in the low affection version (see the red textboxes below) Cloud is thinking out loud rather than speaking directly to Tifa.

The English translation is vague in the fourth screenshot (“I think I’ve heard about it too”) – the Japanese being 俺も、聞いたような気がするな (which literally translates to “I feel like I heard it too”). “It” is referring to Tifa’s voice outlaid the fifth screen – “At that time, it was Tifa’s voice…” (あの時、TIFAの声を). Cloud chooses to introspect rather than engage directly with Tifa.

In the high affection version, the same term is used: he says to her that it was her voice (TIFAの声が) calling him from “the sea of consciousness in the Lifestream” (ライフストリームの意識の海から). The English translates this as: “You were calling me back from the consciousness in the Lifestream”, which, in both high and low affection alternatives, refers to all souls within the Lifestream (for Tifa quotes that her and Cloud were “surrounded by all those screams of anguish” when they were separated in their fall).

The point I wish to get across is this: that in both versions, Cloud’s subconscious cries out for Tifa and simultaneously hears her crying out for him amidst every scream from those returned to the Lifestream. We see this scene play out not as Cloud, but as Tifa, and the black void emphasizes their complete separation. Yet Cloud, in comatose state, unable to communicate physically at all, manages to draw her into his very subconscious.

Now here is the thing most players miss:

Aerith – as Cloud knows for certain – is also in the Lifestream, and having maintained her full consciousness rather than merging with the Lifestream like all these other souls crying out, would be capable of reaching both Cloud and Tifa more easily than they can reach each other.

Is she aware of their situation? Undoubtedly, she would have been watching over them throughout their entire journey since her passing. Does she somehow help behind the scenes? Quite possibly, and very likely. Aerith is already implied to be the reason Cloud survived the week before he washed up on the shores of Mideel (Cid is told by one of his finders, “That boy must have one powerful guardian angel watchin’ over him”).

So I like to think Aerith had a part in Cloud and Tifa’s survival too – but we’ll leave that one to theory. Just a thought.

Whatever transpired, only Tifa could reach the ‘real’ Cloud, and I have no doubt that Aerith knew this. So Cloud reaches Tifa and Tifa reaches Cloud, with all of their being each crying out for the other.

Now, we come to the long debated ‘scene’ – did Cloud and Tifa make love under the Highwind?

I believe the answer to be, under the high affection version, yes. But that is irrelevant to this discussion of whether their love is romantic – for that experience is not a plot matter (occurring in one narrative alternative), and may operate without Eros or as part of Eros. Of course, in Cloud and Tifa’s case, it would have stemmed from their Eros (my point simply being that it is not a necessary ‘proof’ of their love).

But before considering the high affection alternative, let us turn to what we can find in the low affection scene. The scene also results in Cloud and Tifa sleeping against each other. After they board the airship the next morning, they find Barret, Cid and Red XIII and the following conversation ensues:

Tifa then runs to the window and faces the other direction in an awkward stance, while Cloud turns away also and scratches the back of his neck. “Were you listening?” If nothing romantic was said at all, as the argument goes, what then is there to make of their embarrassed reactions?

In the high affection version, this conversation with Barret, Cid and Red XIII plays out the same up until the point where Tifa responds. Instead of saying, “Were you listening?” she asks “Were you watching?” and then falls to her knees in embarrassment.

There is a reason there are two versions of this scene and it is not whether Cloud and Tifa ‘get together romantically’ at all. Rather, it is what transpires – according to the player’s agency (for their earlier decisions result in either narrative) – around Cloud and Tifa’s sealing of their romantic relationship (Cloud’s feelings having already been brought to light in the Lifestream):

        In the low affection version, they declare it with words (that their friends listen in on).

        In the high affection version, they declare it, like they have been declaring it the entire game, through actions (which their friends, to their dismay, end up watching).

Now, with Cloud’s love for Tifa having been openly revealed in the Lifestream, this night under the Highwind is centered on the revelation of her love for him, and upon that love being mutual, the sealing of their relationship. The version the player ends up with is therefore dependent on the affection points earned with Tifa throughout the game.

These points being ‘low’ simply means they do not make love as they do in the high affection alternative, despite high emotions with the impending doom of the Planet. Like Gold Saucer, the narrative can differ. Their love coming together, however, is part of the plot.

Sephiroth’s manipulations through Tifa’s doubts – the catalyst that caused Cloud’s psyche to shatter – is paralleled in the Lifestream with the restoration of his psyche. After Cloud’s “sealed up secret… wish” is brought to light, Tifa is able to fully overcome her doubts over both Cloud and herself. And it is then that they return to the Nibelheim incident, where Cloud regains his true self. It is when Sephiroth broke Tifa that Cloud broke; it is when Tifa overcomes herself (“You weren’t created five years ago. My childhood memories weren’t all made up!”), that Cloud gains the strength to both recover and accept his true self.

They share a oneness and complete mutual reliance on one another in pertinence to their very personhood.

So far runs Cloud’s love for Tifa that it is at the core of his identity. While he cannot recall who he is even within his own subconscious in the Lifestream, his inner voice (true self) recalls Tifa as the motivation at the core of his being.

There is no ‘you and me’ in pertinence to Tifa and Cloud. There is only ‘us’. And alongside this reciprocative Eros (which I will soon examine on Tifa’s part), exists a friendship that surpasses that which Cloud has with anyone else. They are wholly absorbed in each other, and they are side by side in vision. Tifa is his rock as much as he is hers, fighting beside him in every sense of the word; she is his best friend.

Let us now turn to Aerith and Tifa:

https://outbythehighwind.tumblr.com/post/640347336477966336/the-misconceptions-of-ff7-a-cloud-aerith-tifa

[ucflibrary]

Pride Month has arrived!

While every day is a time to be proud of your identity and orientation, June is that extra special time for boldly celebrating with and for the LGBTQIA+ community (yes, there are more than lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folx in the queer community). June was chosen to honor the Stonewall Riots which happened in 1969. Like other celebratory months, LGBT Pride Month started as a weeklong series of events and expanded into a full month of festivities.

2021 is also the 5th anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando where 49 members of our community were murdered on June 12, 2016. On the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library there will be display cases with items from the University Archives relating to Pulse memorials as well as a display wall honoring the lives lost. Both of these library memorials were created in partnership with UCF LGBTQ Services. UCF will also be hosting several events in June to help the community remember, grieve and grow stronger. Full listing of events is available on the Pulse Remembrance event calendar.

Additional Pulse memorial events will be hosted by the onePULSE Foundation.  An memorial archival collection from the first anniversary of the shooting can be found as part of the Resilience: Remembering Pulse in the STARS Citizen Curator collection.

In honor of Pride Month, UCF Library faculty and staff suggested books from the UCF collection that represent a wide array of queer authors and characters. Click on the read more link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links. There is also an extensive physical display on the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library near the Research & Information Desk.

All Adults Here by Emma Straub Emma Straub's unique alchemy of wisdom, humor, and insight come together in a deeply satisfying story about adult siblings, aging parents, high school boyfriends, middle school mean girls, the lifelong effects of birth order, and all the other things that follow us into adulthood, whether we like them to or not. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 All the Young Men: a memoir of love, AIDS, and chosen family in the American South by Ruth Coker Burks & Kevin Carr O'Leary A gripping and triumphant tale of human compassion, is the true story of Ruth Coker Burks, a young single mother in Hot Springs, Arkansas, who finds herself driven to the forefront of the AIDS crisis, and becoming a pivotal activist in America’s fight against AIDS. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 And the Band Played On: politics, people and the AIDS epidemic by Randy Shilts An international bestseller, a nominee for the National Book Critics Circle Award, and made into a critically acclaimed movie, Shilts' expose revealed why AIDS was allowed to spread unchecked during the early 80's while the most trusted institutions ignored or denied the threat. One of the few true modern classics, it changed and framed how AIDS was discussed in the following years. Suggested by Becky Hammond, Special Collections & University Archives

 Big Gay Adventures in Education: supporting LGBT+ visibility and inclusion in schools edited by Daniel Tomlinson-Gray A collection of true stories by 'out' teachers, and students of 'out' teachers, all about their experiences in schools. The book aims to empower LGBT+ teachers to be the role models they needed when they were in school and help all teachers and school leaders to promote LGBT+ visibility and inclusion. Each story is accompanied by an editor’s note reflecting on the contributor’s experience and the practical implications for schools and teachers in supporting LGBT+ young people and ensuring they feel safe and included in their school communities. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services

 Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman The sudden and powerful attraction between a teenage boy and a summer guest at his parents' house on the Italian Riviera has a profound and lasting influence that will mark them both for a lifetime. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Fun Home: a family tragicomic by Alison Bechdel Meet Alison's father, a historic preservation expert and obsessive restorer of the family's Victorian house, a third-generation funeral home director, a high school English teacher, an icily distant parent, and a closeted homosexual who, as it turns out, is involved with male students and a family babysitter. Through narrative that is alternately heartbreaking and fiercely funny, we are drawn into a daughter's complex yearning for her father. And yet, apart from assigned stints dusting caskets at the family-owned 'fun home, ' as Alison and her brothers call it, the relationship achieves its most intimate expression through the shared code of books. When Alison comes out as homosexual herself in late adolescence, the denouement is swift, graphic, and redemptive. Suggested by Michael Furlong, UCF Connect Libraries

 Gender Queer: a memoir by Maia Kobabe; colors by Phoebe Kobabe In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, this is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity--what it means and how to think about it--for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Heaven's Coast: a memoir by Mark Doty The harmonious partnership of two gay men is shattered when they learn that one has tested positive for the HIV virus. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library

 Hurricane Child by Kheryn Callender Born on Water Island in the Virgin Islands during a hurricane, which is considered bad luck, twelve-year-old Caroline falls in love with another girl--and together they set out in a hurricane to find Caroline's missing mother. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo Seventeen-year-old Lily Hu can't remember exactly when the question took root, but the answer was in full bloom the moment she and Kathleen Miller walked under the flashing neon sign of a lesbian bar called the Telegraph Club. America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father--despite his hard-won citizenship--Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library

 Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki & Rosemary Valero-O’Connell All Freddy Riley wants is for Laura Dean to stop breaking up with her. The day they got together was the best one of Freddy's life, but nothing's made sense since. Laura Dean is popular, funny, and SO CUTE ... but she can be really thoughtless, even mean. Their on-again, off-again relationship has Freddy's head spinning - and Freddy's friends can't understand why she keeps going back. When Freddy consults the services of a local mystic, the mysterious Seek-Her, she isn't thrilled with the advice she receives. But something's got to give: Freddy's heart is breaking in slow motion, and she may be about to lose her very best friend as well as her last shred of self-respect. Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O'Connell bring to life a sweet and spirited tale of young love that asks us to consider what happens when we ditch the toxic relationships we crave to embrace the heathy ones we need. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 LGBT Health: meeting the needs of gender and sexual minorities edited by K. Bryant Smalley, Jacob C. Warren, K. Nikki Barefoot A first-of-its-kind, comprehensive view of mental, medical, and public health conditions within the LGBT community. This book examines the health outcomes and risk factors that gender and sexual minority groups face while simultaneously providing evidence-based clinical recommendations and resources for meeting their health needs. Drawing from leading scholars and practitioners of LGBT health, this holistic, centralized text synthesizes epidemiologic, medical, psychological, sociological, and public health research related to the origins of, current state of, and ways to improve LGBT health. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Lived Experience: reflections on LGBTQ life by Delphine Diallo  A beautiful series of full-color portraits of LGBTQ people over the age of fifty, accompanied by interviews. Suggested by Jacqui Johnson, Cataloging

 Love is for Losers by Wibke Bruggemann When Phoebe's mother ditches her to work as a doctor for an international human rights organization, she is stuck living with her mom's best friend, Kate, and helping out at Kate's thrift shop. There she meet Emma. Phoebe tries to shield her head and her heart from experiencing love-- after all, love is for losers, right? Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Man Into Woman: an authentic record of a change of sex edited by Niels Hoyer This riveting account of the transformation of the Danish painter Einar Wegener into Lili Elbe is a remarkable journey from man to woman. Einar Wegener was a leading artist in late 1920's Paris. One day his wife Grete asked him to dress as a woman to model for a portrait. It was a shattering event which began a struggle between his public male persona and emergent female self, Lili. Einar was forced into living a double life; enjoying a secret hedonist life as Lili, with Grete and a few trusted friends, whilst suffering in public as Einar, driven to despair and almost to suicide. Doctors, unable to understand his condition, dismissed him as hysterical. Lili eventually forced Einar to face the truth of his being - he was, in fact, a woman. This bizarre situation took an extraordinary turn when it was discovered that his body contained primitive female sex organs. There followed a series of dangerous experimental operations and a confrontation with the conventions of the age until Lili was eventually liberated from Einar - a freedom that carried the ultimate price. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong This is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read. Written when the speaker, Little Dog, is in his late twenties, the letter unearths a family's history that began before he was born -- a history whose epicenter is rooted in Vietnam -- and serves as a doorway into parts of his life his mother has never known, all of it leading to an unforgettable revelation. At once a witness to the fraught yet undeniable love between a single mother and her son, it is also a brutally honest exploration of race, class, and masculinity. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 Queer Objects edited by Chris Brickell & Judith Collard Queer lives give rise to a vast array of objects: the things we fill our houses with, the gifts we share with our friends, the commodities we consume at work and at play, the clothes and accessories we wear, various reminders of state power, as well as the analogue and digital technologies we use to communicate with one another. But what makes an object queer? 63 chapters consider this question in relation to lesbian, gay and transgender communities across time, cultures and space. In this unique international collaboration, well-known and newer writers traverse world history to write about items ranging from ancient Egyptian tomb paintings and Roman artefacts to political placards, snapshots, sex toys and the smartphone. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Real Life by Brandon Taylor A novel of rare emotional power that excavates the social intricacies of a late-summer weekend -- and a lifetime of buried pain. Almost everything about Wallace, an introverted African-American transplant from Alabama, is at odds with the lakeside Midwestern university town where he is working toward a biochem degree. For reasons of self-preservation, Wallace has enforced a wary distance even within his own circle of friends -- some dating each other, some dating women, some feigning straightness. But a series of confrontations with colleagues, and an unexpected encounter with a young straight man, conspire to fracture his defenses, while revealing hidden currents of resentment and desire that threaten the equilibrium of their community. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 Riley Can’t Stop Crying by Stephanie Boulay While his sister tries everything to help, a young boy isn't sure why he can't stop crying in this transitional picture book. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Supporting Success for LGBTQ+ Students: tools for inclusive campus practice by Cindy Ann Kilgo This book aims to serve as a one-stop resource for faculty and staff in higher education settings who are seeking to enhance their campus climate and systems of support for LGBTQ+ student success. Included are theoretical frameworks and conceptual models that can be used in practice. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services

 The City and the Pillar: a novel by Gore Vidal Jim, a handsome, all-American athlete, has always been shy around girls. But when he and his best friend, Bob, partake in “awful kid stuff,” the experience forms Jim’s ideal of spiritual completion. Defying his parents’ expectations, Jim strikes out on his own, hoping to find Bob and rekindle their amorous friendship. Along the way he struggles with what he feels is his unique bond with Bob and with his persistent attraction to other men. Upon finally encountering Bob years later, the force of his hopes for a life together leads to a devastating climax. The first novel of its kind to appear on the American literary landscape, this remains a forthright and uncompromising portrayal of sexual relationships between men. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 The Invisible Orientation: an introduction to asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones. Suggested by Dawn Tripp, Research & Information Services

 The New Testament by Jericho Brown The world of Jericho Brown's second book, disease runs through the body, violence runs through the neighborhood, memories run through the mind, trauma runs through generations. Almost eerily quiet in even the bluntest of poems, Brown gives us the ache of a throat that has yet to say the hardest thing-and the truth is coming on fast. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library

 The Prophets by Robert Jones With a lyricism reminiscent of Toni Morrison, Robert Jones, Jr., fiercely summons the voices of slaver and enslaved alike, from Isaiah and Samuel to the calculating slave master to the long line of women that surround them, women who have carried the soul of the plantation on their shoulders. As tensions build and the weight of centuries—of ancestors and future generations to come—culminates in a climactic reckoning, masterfully reveals the pain and suffering of inheritance, but is also shot through with hope, beauty, and truth, portraying the enormous, heroic power of love. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 The Ship We Built by Lexie Bean A fifth-grader whose best friends walked away, whose mother is detached, and whose father does unspeakable things, copes with the help of friend Sofie and anonymous letters tied to balloons and released. Includes a list of resources related to abuse, gender, sexuality, and more. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Tinderbox: the untold story of the Up Stairs Lounge fire and the rise of gay liberation by Robert W. Fieseler Buried for decades, the Up Stairs Lounge tragedy has only recently emerged as a catalyzing event of the gay liberation movement. In revelatory detail, Robert W. Fieseler chronicles the tragic event that claimed the lives of thirty-one men and one woman on June 24, 1973, at a New Orleans bar, the largest mass murder of gays until 2016. Relying on unprecedented access to survivors and archives, Fieseler creates an indelible portrait of a closeted, blue- collar gay world that flourished before an arsonist ignited an inferno that destroyed an entire community. The aftermath was no less traumatic--families ashamed to claim loved ones, the Catholic Church refusing proper burial rights, the city impervious to the survivors' needs--revealing a world of toxic prejudice that thrived well past Stonewall. Yet the impassioned activism that followed proved essential to the emergence of a fledgling gay movement. Fieseler restores honor to a forgotten generation of civil-rights martyrs. Suggested by Andy Todd, UCF Connect Libraries

 Transgender: a reference handbook by Aaron Devor and Ardel Haefele-Thomas This book provides a crucial resource for readers who are investigating trans issues. It takes a diverse and historic approach, focusing on more than one idea or one experience of trans identity or trans history. The book takes contemporary as well as historic aspects into consideration. It looks at ancient indigenous cultures that honored third, fourth, and fifth gender identities as well as more contemporary ideas of what "transgender" means. Notably, it focuses not only on Western medical ideas of gender affirmation but on cultural diversity surrounding the topic. This book will primarily serve as a reference guide and jumping off point for further research for those seeking information about what it means to be transgender. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Transnational LGBT Activism: working for sexual rights worldwide by Ryan R. Thoreson Thoreson argues that the idea of LGBT human rights is not predetermined but instead is defined by international activists who establish what and who qualifies for protection. He shows how International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) formed and evolved, who is engaged in this work, how they conceptualize LGBT human rights, and how they have institutionalized their views at the United Nations and elsewhere. After a full year of in-depth research in New York City and Cape Town, South Africa, Thoreson is able to reconstruct IGLHRC’s early campaigns and highlight decisive shifts in the organization’s work from its founding to the present day. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey Esther is a stowaway. She's hidden herself away in the Librarian's book wagon in an attempt to escape the marriage her father has arranged for her--a marriage to the man who was previously engaged to her best friend. Her best friend who she was in love with. Her best friend who was just executed for possession of resistance propaganda. The future American Southwest is full of bandits, fascists, and queer librarian spies on horseback trying to do the right thing. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 Walt Whitman's Songs of Male Intimacy and Love: "Live oak, with moss" and "Calamus" edited by Betsy Erkkila This volume includes Whitman's handwritten manuscript version of the twelve "Live oak, with moss" poems along side with a print transcription of these poems on the opposite page, followed by a facsimile of the original version of the "Calamus" poems published in the 1860-61 edition of Leaves of grass, and a reprint of the final version of the "Calamus" poems in the 1881 edition of Leaves of grass. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

[promptmaker]

Sinfully Nalu Prompt suggestions.

Here are suggestions for the Sinfully NaLu event prompts! If you want to use one, let me know and I can cross it out if you want. If none of these work for you but you still want an idea for the prompt, let me know and I can try to help!

1. Biting/Fangs/Teeth:  Now that Natsu and Lucy are together, Natsu has taken a liking to “marking” Lucy by leaving bite marks all over her. Though she enjoys it, it is a source of constant teasing from the other FT ladies whenever they bathe together. So she devises a way to get back at Natsu and leave some marks of her own. With research help from Levy, Lucy finds a spell that temporarily gives her fangs like Natsu. Next time they are alone together, they take great pleasure in marking each other up.

2. Biting/Fangs/Teeth: While fixing Natsu’s favorite spicy meal, Lucy spills some on herself after he sneaks up on her. Before she can get mad, Natsu is already licking the mess off of her. Liking the taste, he decides to make a meal out of Lucy instead.

3. Public Sex:  (Post Series) Fairy Tail is participating in the Grand Magic games yet again and are doing well. Natsu and Lucy are participating this year and after a few successful wins, they decide to celebrate in the team locker room.

4. Public Sex: During a stay at a fancy onsen,Lucy and Natsu indulge in a night of drinking at the bar after a dip in the hotspring. Unsurprisingly, Lucy becomes a bit tipsy and starts becoming extra  flirty and handsy with Natsu.  So he decides to end their night of drinking early and take Lucy back to their room to give her what she wants. Or he tries too but the place is big and gets lost. Lucy loses her patience and kisses Natsu against a wall and says she can’t wait anymore and they could go at it right then and there if they need to. Natsu is surprised but thrilled at her suggestion. Since it's late and the hallway is deserted, they go for it and Natsu takes her against the wall there.

5. Public Sex: Natsu and Lucy sneak off during a break at one of her book signings to have some fun at the back of the book store.

6. Public Sex: After starting the latest bar fight at the guild, Natsu is tasked with cleaning the FT pool as punishment. He manages to drag Lucy along to help him. But they can only see each other scantily clad and working up a sweat for so long before they go at it right in the pool.

7. Public Sex: (Modern AU)  Natsu and Lucy are enjoying a comic convention that they go to every year. Dressed up in cosplay the two wander the main hall and get quite a bit of attention due to their sexy cosplay. When Lucy gets a little too much attention, Natsu drags her off the main floor and finds a quiet place for a quickie.

8. Public Sex: When Lucy tells Natsu he can pick their next date location she knew she was asking for trouble and he confirms her fears by taking her to a nude beach. When she realizes he picked the location specifically to fluster her she decides two can play at that game and the two tease each other the entire time they are there. They of course get carried away and sneak somewhere hidden to go at it before they get caught.   Afterward Lucy realizes that she really had fun there and is open to returning.  Also works under the Secret prompt.  (Old Prompt)

9. Dirty Talk/Texting  Natsu and Lucy have been together for a couple of months now and can’t keep their hands off each other. It gets so bad that Lucy’s friends need to drag her away for some girl time at a spa/onsen. NaLu secretly keeps in touch via text and face time throughout Lucy’s trip but things escalate when a drunken and flirty Lucy starts sending Natsu risque pics and texts throughout her time there.   Their escapades end with a video chat session that turns steamy.  (Old Prompt)

10. Dirty talk/Sexting: After nearly destroying half a town during a mission, Natsu is brought before the magic council for the standard lecture. During which he mostly ignores them and texts Lucy under the table. To tease her, he makes the topic dirty and about the things they’ll do together when he gets home. But she takes him by surprise by making the conversation even dirtier and soon Natsu has another problem under the table.

11. Dirty Talk/Sexting:  Lucy and Natsu want to spice things up their sex life and they think adding dirty talk will help. They both do their own research on what they think sexy dirty talk will sound like (Lucy from the library/Levy, Natsu from the older FT guys). After their research they get together to put it to the test with… interesting results.

12. Dirty Talk/Sexting: Lucy is away on a week long photo shoot while Natsu is at home recovering from an injury. When he complains to her that he is bored, she decides to start sending him pictures of her in various sexy outfits she is wearing for the shoot. The messages between them become sexier and devolve into Natsu telling her what he wants to do to her and Lucy sending even more sexy/nude pics to instigate him (Optional: Lucy has a lady friend help her take the pics.)

13. Wedding night/Wedding:  Natsu and Lucy’s dream wedding is not going as expected. Natsu sees Lucy too early, the half the guests are delayed by a storm, there are issues with the food ect. So Natsu and Lucy find an empty room at the venue (or wherever the wedding takes place) and have a quiet moment together and are just glad they have each other. The tender moment quickly turns mischievous when one of them suggests a quickie to take the edge off. They are of course accidentally caught on camera by the wedding photographer.

14. Wedding Night/Wedding: NaLu have just gotten married and have just arrived at their hotel room to “celebrate”. Throughout the day, Natsu has been teasing Lucy that she looked great in her dress but he was going to burn it off her once they are alone and to his surprise she does encourage him to burn it off. Revealing that there was a spell on the dress that burned it off without hurting her and that she was wearing flame themed lingerie underneath. Now the fun can really begin.  (Lucy can switch out her actual wedding dress with this one before the scene takes place. I doubt she would burn the real thing.)

15. Snowed in/Trapped: Natsu and Lucy are stuck at home after several days of heavy snow. With Natsu crawling up the wall from boredom, Lucy makes a suggestion. With the help of Virgo and Natsu’s magic, they use the excess snow to create an impromptu hot spring in their backyard. As a challenge from Natsu, they two streak nude across the rest of the snow in their yard to get to the spring. An extra excuse to cuddle for warmth once they get there. Which of course leads to other things.

16. Snowed In/Trapped: A huge snow storm has blocked all the roads and has made a mess on the Dragneel household, so Natsu and Lucy spend their morning clearing the surrounding snow. Natsu of course starts a snowball fight that ends with him putting snow down Lucy’s shirt and her using Aquarius in retaliation. Now both thoroughly soaked, the two head inside, strip down, and must think of some creative ways to “warm up”.

17. Marking/Mating/Ritual:  An attempt to get Natsu’s DS mating cycle under control backfires when the spell that is supposed to calm him down, just gives his mating urges to Lucy instead. Now he must tend to her every need for 72 hours until the spell passes.

18. Marking/Mating/Ritual: After Lucy and Natsu get married, they are offered a rare honor by the Celestial Spirit King to perform a special mating ritual in the Celestial World. During this ritual their souls temporarily merge and it's supposed to be a deep bonding experience. Other future benefits is that they can share magic when they need to and can sense where the other is any time. They are given their own special villa to stay at where they can perform the ritual and not have to worry about their energy draining or losing time while in the Celestial World.

19. Starting a Family:  (Edolas)  Lucy Ashley is pregnant with her and Natsu Doragion’s first child and her sex drive is through the roof. So before he goes on his next solo mission, she is sure to get as much out of him as she can. He is more than happy (and a bit scared) to help.

20. Starting a Family: Natsu and Lucy have been in a friends with benefits relationship for quite some time, too afraid of ruining their friendship if they were to take things further. But when Natsu gets Lucy pregnant, they must figure out what their new relationship is going to be and how they are going to start a family together.

21. Massage/Masseuse: (Modern AU): Lucy has been visiting a massage parlor frequently lately (either for stress relief or for Physical Therapy). But mostly she goes there to flirt with her favorite masseuse, Natsu. He likes to flirt back too but attempts to be professional about it. Until eventually the sexual tension between them snaps and they go at it then and there.   (Roles can be flipped)

22. Massage/Masseuse: When Natsu takes a bad hit during a mission, he needs healing ointment rubbed onto his body regularly for a week. His girlfriend Lucy is happy to help him with this and they both indulge in a Nurse/Patient role-play they’ve been wanting to try.

23. Massage/Masseuse (Minor Hero’s/Edens Zero crossover): Lucy and Natsu are visiting the Edens Zero crew on their ship. When the crew becomes preoccupied with something, they encourage Natsu and Lucy to indulge in the bath and massage room. Which they gladly do. After their bath the two head to the massage room where Natsu plans on giving Lucy the rub down of her life!

24. Magic: (Whip) Lucy has gotten a new electrical whip. When Natsu puts them in the red again for being too destructive on a mission, she decides he needs to be punished. So next time they are intimate, she introduces the whip in the bedroom (Natsu is into this. She uses it to tie him up, lightly shock/stimulate him, and spanking (or whatever the writer wants.)

25. Magic: (X-Ray Glasses) Lucy gives Natsu magic glasses before a mission, telling him it's important that he wears them and it will help find what they are looking for.  What he doesn’t know is that they are actually Magic X-Ray Glasses. As revenge for an earlier prank done on her, Lucy enchants them to only work on her so Natsu can see through her clothes throughout the mission. But he can’t do anything about it with their teammates there (glasses could also be magically stuck to his face for a while), so he has to suffer his mate intentionally teasing him throughout the day until they finally get some alone time at an inn, where he pounces her and they both get some much needed release.

26. Magic: (Pleasure) NaLu are exposed to a “Pleasure” spell from a dark mage during a mission. They are forced to leave the dark mage in the care of their teammates as they scurry off to find a secluded area where they can work off the spell.   (Pleasure spell like Laracade’s, that sends a person into a heightened pleasured state until they reach completion with someone.)  (Old Prompt)

27. Magic: (Clones)  When Lucy makes the mistake of asking Cana what to get Natsu for his birthday, Cana crudely reveals that she has a new multiply card that can multiply anyone she touches with it and she convinces Lucy it would be a great bedroom surprise for Natsu. (Can also be given to Natsu)   (Old Prompt)

28. Magic: (Transform)  NaLu are at home practicing transformation magic for a mission. Once they get the hang of it they start having some fun with it. But once one (or both) of them find a transformation that the other finds too desirable for the other to ignore, the real fun can begin. (Bunny or Cat girl Lucy? Dragon Lord Natsu?  Whatever the writer wants!)  (Old Prompt)

29. Magic: (Invisibility) Natsu convinces Lucy to use a leftover invisibility potion to help him with some pranks at the guild. They quickly realize what other sexual mischief they can get up to at the guild now that  they won’t get caught.

30. Magic: (Unison Raid) While Natsu and Lucy are having an intense intimate moment, they activate a unison raid by accident. But instead of causing destruction, it amplifies everything they are feeling together.

[hockeysweetheart]

So I asked this question Earlier. Do you think that Katniss was in love with Gale the romantic way. 

Easy answer no. I do beileve she loved him as you love her friends. But there were just no sparks there.  Okay this will be a super long thing. I’ll add all  chapters and pages below 

Lets dig into this.  

So at the start of the book they meet up in the woods on the day of the reaping This is Katniss Discribing Gale ( This is after they talk about running away Katniss blurts out I am never having kids, Eating bakery bread  Gale said he would have kids ect...  

Chapter 1 Page 10 The hunger Games 

This Conversation feels all wrong Leave? How could I leave Prim, Who is the only person in the world I’m certain I love? And Gale who is Devoted to his Family. We can’t Leave, so why bother talking about it? And if we did... even if we did... where did this stuff about having kids come from? There’s NEVER been anything romantic between Gale and me. When we met, I was a skinny 12 year old and although he was only two years older. He already looked like a man. It took a long time for us to even become friends, to stop haggling over every trade and begin helping each other out. 

 Besides if he wanted Kids, Gale won’t have any trouble finding a wife. He’s good-looking, he’s strong enough to handle the work in the mines, and he can hunt. You can tell by the way  girls whisper about him when he walks by in school that they want him. It makes me jealous but not for the reason people would think. Good hunting partners are hard to find.

Page 38- 40 Chapter 3 The hunger Games 

( Now this is when Katniss is saying goodbyes and Gale says goodbye)

Finally Gale is here and maybe there is nothing Romantic between us, but when he opens his arms . I don’t hesitate to go into the. His body is familiar to me- the way it moves, the smell of wood and smoke, even the sound of his heart beating I know from quiet moments on a hunt- but this is the first time I really  feel it, lean and hard-muscled against my own.

"Katniss, it's just hunting. You're the best hunter I know," says Gale. "It's not just hunting. They're armed. They think," I say. "So do you. And you've had more practice. Real practice," he says. "You know how to kill." "Not people," I say. "How different can it be, really?" says Gale grimly. The awful thing is that if I can forget they're people, it will be no different at all. The Peacekeepers are back too soon and Gale asks for more time, but they're taking him away and I start to panic. "Don't let them starve!" I cry out, clinging to his hand. "I won't! You know I won't! Katniss, remember I  - " he says, and they yank us apart and slam the door and I'll never know what it was he wanted me to remember.

Pages 109 to 112 Chapter 8 The Hunger Games 

When they first met. Please note this is Before Peeta confessed his Love for Katniss. 

I had been struggling along on my own for about six months when I first ran into Gale in the woods. It was a Sun- day in October, the air cool and pungent with dying things. I’d spent the morning competing with the squirrels for nuts and the slightly warmer afternoon wading in shallow ponds har- vesting katniss. The only meat I’d shot was a squirrel that had practically run over my toes in its quest for acorns, but the an- imals would still be afoot when the snow buried my other food sources. Having strayed farther afield than usual, I was hurrying back home, lugging my burlap sacks when I came across a dead rabbit. It was hanging by its neck in a thin wire a foot above my head. About fifteen yards away was another. I recognized the twitch-up snares because my father had used them. When the prey is caught, it’s yanked into the air out of the reach of other hungry animals. I’d been trying to use snares all summer with no success, so I couldn’t help dropping my sacks to examine this one. My fingers were just on the wire above one of the rabbits when a voice rang out. “That’s dangerous.”

I jumped back several feet as Gale materialized from be- hind a tree. He must have been watching me the whole time. He was only fourteen, but he cleared six feet and was as good as an adult to me. I’d seen him around the Seam and at school. And one other time. He’d lost his father in the same blast that killed mine. In January, I’d stood by while he received his medal of valor in the Justice Building, another oldest child with no father. I remembered his two little brothers clutching his mother, a woman whose swollen belly announced she was just days away from giving birth. “What’s your name?” he said, coming over and disengaging the rabbit from the snare. He had another three hanging from his belt. “Katniss,” I said, barely audible. “Well, Catnip, stealing’s punishable by death, or hadn’t you heard?” he said. “Katniss,” I said louder. “And I wasn’t stealing it. I just wanted to look at your snare. Mine never catch anything.” He scowled at me, not convinced. “So where’d you get the squirrel?” “I shot it.” I pulled my bow off my shoulder. I was still using the small version my father had made me, but I’d been practic- ing with the full-size one when I could. I was hoping that by spring I might be able to bring down some bigger game. Gale’s eyes fastened on the bow. “Can I see that?” I handed it over. “Just remember, stealing’s punishable by death.”

That was the first time I ever saw him smile. It transformed him from someone menacing to someone you wished you knew. But it took several months before I returned that smile. We talked hunting then. I told him I might be able to get him a bow if he had something to trade. Not food. I wanted knowledge. I wanted to set my own snares that caught a belt of fat rabbits in one day. He agreed something might be worked out. As the seasons went by, we grudgingly began to share our knowledge, our weapons, our secret places that were thick with wild plums or turkeys. He taught me snares and fishing. I showed him what plants to eat and eventually gave him one of our precious bows. And then one day, without either of us saying it, we became a team. Dividing the work and the spoils. Making sure that both our families had food. Gale gave me a sense of security I’d lacked since my father’s death. His companionship replaced the long solitary hours in the woods. I became a much better hunter when I didn’t have to look over my shoulder constantly, when someone was watching my back. But he turned into so much more than a hunting partner. He became my confidante, someone with whom I could share thoughts I could never voice inside the fence. In exchange, he trusted me with his. Being out in the woods with Gale . . . sometimes I was actually happy. I call him my friend, but in the last year it’s seemed too ca- sual a word for what Gale is to me. A pang of longing shoots through my chest. If only he was with me now! But, of course, I don’t want that. I don’t want him in the arena where he’d bedead in a few days. I just . . . I just miss him. And I hate being so alone. Does he miss me? He must.

I think of the eleven flashing under my name last night. I know exactly what he’d say to me. “Well, there’s some room for improvement there.” And then he’d give me a smile and I’d return it without hesitating now. I can’t help comparing what I have with Gale to what I’m pretending to have with Peeta. How I never question Gale’s motives while I do nothing but doubt the latter’s. It’s not a fair comparison really. Gale and I were thrown together by a mu- tual need to survive. Peeta and I know the other’s survival means our own death. How do you sidestep that?

Now through out the Games Katniss does Question How Gale would feel about all this like the Kissing, The being in love with Peeta for an act. ( only everyone knows it’s aha not an act.) 

Catching Fire.  

Catching Fire Chaper 1 Page 9.  

Basically saying how painful It was for Gale to see his best friend in love with someone else. 

Hazelle nods “ That’d be good. Gale means to, but he’s only got his Sundays. and I think he likes saving those for you” I Can’t stop the redness that floods my cheeks. It’s stupid. of course. Hardly anybody knows me Better then Hazelle. Knows the bond I share with Gale. I’m sure plenty of people assumed that we’d eventually get married even if I never gave it any thought. But that was before the Games. Before my fellow tribute, Peeta Mellark , announced he was madly in love with me, Our romance became a key strategy for Peeta. I’m not sure what it was for me. But I know now it was nothing put painful for Gale. My chest tightens as I think about how. on the Victory Tour. Peeta and I will have to present ourselves as lovers again.

Catching Fire Chapter 2 Pages 23- 28. 

Now this is when Snow  basically tells Katniss he can kill Gale and that Katniss goes into the kiss ( the surprise one)

"Peeta. How is the love of your life?" he asks. "Good," I say.

"At what point did he realize the exact degree of your indifference?" he asks, dipping his cookie in his tea. "I'm not indifferent," I say.

"But perhaps not as taken with the young man as you would have the country believe," he says. "Who says I'm not?" I say.

"I do," says the president. "And I wouldn't be here if I were the only person who had doubts. How's the handsome cousin?"

"I don't know ... I don't ..." My revulsion at this conversation, at discussing my feelings for two of the people I care most about with President Snow, chokes me off.

"Speak, Miss Everdeen. Him I can easily kill off if we don't come to a happy resolution," he says. "You aren't doing him a favor by disappearing into the woods with him each Sunday."

If he knows this, what else does he know? And how does he know it? Many people could tell him that Gale and I spend our Sundays hunting. Don't we show up at the end of each one loaded down with game? Haven't we for years? The real question is what he thinks goes on in the woods beyond District 12. Surely they haven't been tracking us in there. Or have they? Could we have been followed? That seems impossible. At least by a person. Cameras? That never crossed my mind until this moment. The woods have always been our place of safety, our place beyond the reach of the Capitol, where we're free to say what we feel, be who we are. At least before the Games. If we've been watched since, what have they seen? Two people hunting, saying treasonous things against the Capitol, yes. But not two people in love, which seems to be President Snow's implication. We are safe on that charge. Unless ... unless ...

It only happened once. It was fast and unexpected, but it did happen.

After Peeta and I got home from the Games, it was several weeks before I saw Gale alone. First there were the obligatory celebrations. A banquet for the victors that only the most high-ranking people were invited to. A holiday for the whole district with free food and entertainers brought in from the Capitol. Parcel Day, the first of twelve, in which food packages were delivered to every person in the district. That was my favorite. To see all those hungry kids in the Seam running around, waving cans of applesauce, tins of meat, even candy. Back home, too big to carry, would be bags of grain, cans of oil. To know that once a month for a year they would all receive another parcel. That was one of the few times I actually felt good about winning the Games.

So between the ceremonies and events and the reporters documenting my every move as I presided and thanked and kissed Peeta for the audience, I had no privacy at all. After a few weeks, things finally died down. The camera crews and reporters packed up and went home. Peeta and I assumed the cool relationship we've had ever since. My family settled into our house in the Victor's Village. The everyday life of District 12 - workers to the mines, kids to school - resumed its usual pace. I waited until I thought the coast was really clear, and then one Sunday, without telling anyone, I got up hours before dawn and took off for the woods.

The weather was still warm enough that I didn't need a jacket. I packed along a bag filled with special foods, cold chicken and cheese and bakery bread and oranges. Down at my old house, I put on my hunting boots. As usual, the fence was not charged and it was simple to slip into the woods and retrieve my bow and arrows. I went to our place, Gale's and mine, where we had shared breakfast the morning of the reaping that sent me into the Games.

I waited at least two hours. I'd begun to think that he'd given up on me in the weeks that had passed. Or that he no longer cared about me. Hated me even. And the idea of losing him forever, my best friend, the only person I'd ever trusted with my secrets, was so painful I couldn't stand it. Not on top of everything else that had happened. I could feel my eyes tearing up and my throat starting to close the way it does when I get upset.

Then I looked up and there he was, ten feet away, just watching me. Without even thinking, I jumped up and threw my arms around him, making some weird sound that combined laughing, choking, and crying. He was holding me so tightly that I couldn't see his face, but it was a really long time before he let me go and then he didn't have much choice, because I'd gotten this unbelievably loud case of the hiccups and had to get a drink.

We did what we always did that day. Ate breakfast. Hunted and fished and gathered. Talked about people in town. But not about us, his new life in the mines, my time in the arena. Just about other things. By the time we were at the hole in the fence that's nearest the Hob, I think I really believed that things could be the same. That we could go on as we always had. I'd given all the game to Gale to trade since we had so much food now. I told him I'd skip the Hob, even though I was looking forward to going there, because my mother and sister didn't even know I'd gone hunting and they'd be wondering where I was.

Then suddenly, as I was suggesting I take over the daily snare run, he took my face in his hands and kissed me. I was completely unprepared. You would think that after all the hours I'd spent with Gale - watching him talk and laugh and frown - that I would know all there was to know about his lips. But I hadn't imagined how warm they would feel pressed against my own. Or how those hands, which could set the most intricate of snares, could as easily entrap me. I think I made some sort of noise in the back of my throat, and I vaguely remember my fingers, curled tightly closed, resting on his chest. Then he let go and said, "I had to do that. At least once." And he was gone.

Despite the fact that the sun was setting and my family would be worried, I sat by a tree next to the fence. I tried to decide how I felt about the kiss, if I had liked it or resented it, but all I really remembered was the pressure of Gale's lips and the scent of the oranges that still lingered on his skin. It was pointless comparing it with the many kisses I'd exchanged with Peeta. I still hadn't figured out if any of those counted. Finally I went home.

That week I managed the snares and dropped off the meat with Hazelle. But I didn't see Gale until Sunday.

I had this whole speech worked out, about how I didn't want a boyfriend and never planned on marrying, but I didn't end up using it. Gale acted as if the kiss had never happened.

Maybe he was waiting for me to say something. Or kiss him back. Instead I just pretended it had never happened, either. But it had. Gale had shattered some invisible barrier between us and, with it, any hope I had of resuming our old, uncomplicated friendship. Whatever I pretended, I could never look at his lips in quite the same way.

This all flashes through my head in an instant as President Snow's eyes bore into me on the heels of his threat to kill Gale. How stupid I've been to think the Capitol would just ignore me once I'd returned home! Maybe I didn't know about the potential uprisings. But I knew they were angry with me. Instead of acting with the extreme caution the situation called for, what have I done? From the president's point of view, I've ignored Peeta and flaunted my preference for Gale's company before the whole district. And by doing so made it clear I was, in fact, mocking the Capitol. Now I've endangered Gale and his family and my family and Peeta, too, by my carelessness. “Please don't hurt Gale," I whisper. "He's just my friend. He's been my friend for years. That's all that's between us. Besides, everyone thinks we're cousins now."  

Chaper 7 Pages 93-101  Catching fire 

 Basically talking about running away and then Katniss can’t leave Peeta or Haymitch and  Gale is angry about that But Prior Gale is happy to run away with her Says He loves her... but HA. ( we all know how that worked out) 

Then I sit on the tiny concrete hearth, thawing out by the fire and waiting for Gale. It's a surprisingly short time before he appears. A bow slung over his shoulder, a dead wild turkey he must have encountered along the way hanging from his belt. He stands in the doorway as if considering whether or not to enter. He holds the unopened leather bag of food, the flask, Cinna's gloves. Gifts he will not accept because of his anger at me. I know exactly how he feels. Didn't I do the same thing to my mother? I look in his eyes. His temper can't quite mask the hurt, the sense of betrayal he feels at my engagement to Peeta. This will be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. I could take hours trying to explain, and even then have him refuse me. Instead I go straight to the heart of my defense. "President Snow personally threatened to have you killed," I say. Gale raises his eyebrows slightly, but there's no real show of fear or astonishment. "Anyone else?" "Well, he didn't actually give me a copy of the list. But it's a good guess it includes both our families," I say. It's enough to bring him to the fire. He crouches before the hearth and warms himself. "Unless what?" "Unless nothing, now," I say. Obviously this requires more of an explanation, but I have no idea where to start, so I just sit there staring gloomily into the fire. After about a minute of this, Gale breaks the silence. "Well, thanks for the heads-up." I turn to him, ready to snap, but I catch the glint in his eye. I hate myself for smiling. This is not a funny moment, but I guess it's a lot to drop on someone. We're all going to be obliterated no matter what. "I do have a plan, you know." "Yeah, I bet it's a stunner," he says. He tosses the gloves on my lap. "Here. I don't want your fiance's old gloves." "He's not my fiance. That's just part of the act. And these aren't his gloves. They were Cinna's," I say. "Give them back, then," he says. He pulls on the gloves, flexes his fingers, and nods in approval. "At least I'll die in comfort." "That's optimistic. Of course, you don't know what's happened," I say. "Let's have it," he says. I decide to begin with the night Peeta and I were crowned victors of the Hunger Games, and Haymitch warned me of the Capitol's fury. I tell him about the uneasiness that dogged me even once I was back home, President Snow's visit to my house, the murders in District 11, the tension in the crowds, the last-ditch effort of the engagement, the president's indication that it hadn't been enough, my certainty that I'll have to pay. Gale never interrupts. While I talk, he tucks the gloves in his pocket and occupies himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watch his hands, his beautiful, capable fingers. Scarred, as mine were before the Capitol erased all marks from my skin, but strong and deft. Hands that have the power to mine coal but the precision to set a delicate snare. Hands I trust. I pause to take a drink of tea from the flask before I tell him about my homecoming. "Well, you really made a mess of things," he says. "I'm not even done," I tell him. "I've heard enough for the moment. Let's skip ahead to this plan of yours," he says. I take a deep breath. "We run away." "What?" he asks. This has actually caught him off guard. "We take to the woods and make a run for it," I say. His face is impossible to read. Will he laugh at me, dismiss this as foolishness? I rise in agitation, preparing for an argument. "You said yourself you thought that we could do it! That morning of the reaping. You said - " He steps in and I feel myself lifted off the ground. The room spins, and I have to lock my arms around Gale's neck to brace myself. He's laughing, happy. "Hey!" I protest, but I'm laughing, too. Gale sets me down but doesn't release his hold on me. "Okay, let's run away," he says. "Really? You don't think I'm mad? You'll go with me?" Some of the crushing weight begins to lift as it transfers to Gale's shoulders. "I do think you're mad and I'll still go with you," he says. He means it. Not only means it but welcomes it. "We can do it. I know we can. Let's get out of here and never come back!" "You're sure?" I say. "Because it's going to be hard, with the kids and all. I don't want to get five miles into the woods and have you - " "I'm sure. I'm completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure." He tilts his forehead down to rest against mine and pulls me closer. His skin, his whole being, radiates heat from being so near the fire, and I close my eyes, soaking in his warmth. I breathe in the smell of snow-dampened leather and smoke and apples, the smell of all those wintry days we shared before the Games. I don't try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice drops to a whisper. "I love you." That's why. I never see these things coming. They happen too fast. One second you're proposing an escape plan and the next... you're expected to deal with something like this. I come up with what must be the worst possible response. "I know." It sounds terrible. Like I assume he couldn't help loving me but that I don't feel anything in return. Gale starts to draw away, but I grab hold of him. "I know! And you... you know what you are to me." It's not enough. He breaks my grip. "Gale, I can't think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, every waking minute since they drew Prim's name at the reaping, is how afraid I am. And there doesn't seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don't know." I can see him swallowing his disappointment. "So, we'll go. We'll find out." He turns back to the fire, where the chestnuts are beginning to burn. He flips them out onto the hearth. "My mother's going to take some convincing." I guess he's still going, anyway. But the happiness has fled, leaving an all-too-familiar strain in its place. "Mine, too. I'll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won't survive the alternative." "She'll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Prim. She won't say no to you," says Gale. "I hope not." The temperature in the house seems to have dropped twenty degrees in a matter of seconds. "Haymitch will be the real challenge." "Haymitch?" Gale abandons the chestnuts. "You're not asking him to come with us?" "I have to, Gale. I can't leave him and Peeta because they'd - " His scowl cuts me off. "What?" "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how large our party was," he snaps at me.

"They'd torture them to death, trying to find out where I was," I say.

"What about Peeta's family? They'll never come. In fact, they probably couldn't wait to inform on us. Which I'm sure he's smart enough to realize. What if he decides to stay?" he asks.

I try to sound indifferent, but my voice cracks. "Then he stays."

"You'd leave him behind?" Gale asks.

"To save Prim and my mother, yes," I answer. "I mean, no! I'll get him to come."

"And me, would you leave me?" Gale's expression is rock hard now. "Just if, for instance, I can't convince my mother to drag three young kids into the wilderness in winter."

"Hazelle won't refuse. She'll see sense," I say.

"Suppose she doesn't, Katniss. What then?" he demands.

"Then you have to force her, Gale. Do you think I'm making this stuff up?" My voice is rising in anger as well.

"No. I don't know. Maybe the president's just manipulating you. I mean, he's throwing your wedding. You saw how the Capitol crowd reacted. I don't think he can afford to kill you. Or Peeta. How's he going to get out of that one?" says Gale.

"Well, with an uprising in District Eight, I doubt he's spending much time choosing my wedding cake!" I shout.

The instant the words are out of my mouth I want to reclaim them. Their effect on Gale is immediate - the flush on his cheeks, the brightness of his gray eyes. "There's an uprising in Eight?" he says in a hushed voice.

I try to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the districts. "I don't know if it's really an uprising. There's unrest. People in the streets - " I say.

Gale grabs my shoulders. "What did you see?"

"Nothing! In person. I just heard something." As usual, it's too little, too late. I give up and tell him. "I saw something on the mayor's television. I wasn't supposed to. There was a crowd, and fires, and the Peacekeepers were gunning people down but they were fighting back. ..." I bite my lip and struggle to continue describing the scene. Instead I say aloud the words that have been eating me up inside. "And it's my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with those berries, none of this would've happened. Peeta could have come home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe, too."

"Safe to do what?" he says in a gentler tone. "Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the reaping? You haven't hurt people - you've given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. There's already been talk in the mines. People who want to fight. Don't you see? It's happening! It's finally happening! If there's an uprising in District Eight, why not here? Why not everywhere? This could be it, the thing we've been - "

"Stop it! You don't know what you're saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they're not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of district people - they mean less than nothing to them!" I say.

"That's why we have to join the fight!" he answers harshly.

"No! We have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!" I'm yelling again, but I can't understand why he's doing this. Why doesn't he see what's so undeniable?

Gale pushes me roughly away from him. "You leave, then. I'd never go in a million years."

"You were happy enough to go before. I don't see how an uprising in District Eight does anything but make it more important that we leave. You're just mad about - " No, I can't throw Peeta in his face. "What about your family?" "What about the other families, Katniss? The ones who can't run away? Don't you see? It can't be about just saving us anymore. Not if the rebellion's begun!" Gale shakes his head, not hiding his disgust with me. "You could do so much." He throws Cinna's gloves at my feet. "I changed my mind. I don't want anything they made in the Capitol." And he's gone. I look down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Does he think I am now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all fills me with rage. But it's mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. I sink down next to the fire, desperate for comfort, to work out my next move. I calm myself by thinking that rebellions don't happen in a day. Gale can't talk to the miners until tomorrow. If I can get to Hazelle before then, she might straighten him out. But I can't go now. If he's there, he'll lock me out. Maybe tonight, after everyone else is asleep ... Hazelle often works late into the night finishing up laundry. I could go then, tap at the window, tell her the situation so she'll keep Gale from doing anything foolish

Catching Fire Chapter 8.  Pages 115-116 

I don't know exactly what my mother means by things starting again, but I'm too angry and hurting to ask. It's registered, though, the idea of worse times returning, because when the doorbell rings, I shoot straight out of bed. Who could it be at this hour of the night? There's only one answer. Peacekeepers. "They can't have him," I say. "Might be you they're after," Haymitch reminds me. "Or you," I say. "Not my house," Haymitch points out. "But I'll get the door." "No, I'll get it," says my mother quietly. We all go, though, following her down the hallway to the insistent ring of the bell. When she opens it, there's not a squad of Peacekeepers but a single, snow-caked figure. Madge. She holds out a small, damp cardboard box to me. "Use these for your friend," she says. I take off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. "They're my mother's. She said I could take them. Use them, please." She runs back into the storm before we can stop her. "Crazy girl," Haymitch mutters as we follow, my mother into the kitchen. Whatever my mother had given Gale, I was right, it isn't enough. His teeth are gritted and his flesh shines with sweat. My mother fills a syringe with the clear liquid from one of the vials and shoots it into his arm. Almost immediately, his face begins to relax. "What is that stuff?" asks Peeta. "It's from the Capitol. It's called morphling," my mother answers. "I didn't even know Madge knew Gale," says Peeta. "We used to sell her strawberries," I say almost angrily. What am I angry about, though? Not that she has brought the medicine, surely. "She must have quite a taste for them," says Haymitch. That's what nettles me. It's the implication that there's something going on between Gale and Madge. And I don't like it. "She's my friend" is all I say.

Catching Fire Chaper 8  Pages 116-119 

This is after Gales whipping and Did we just whitness Katniss having a mid life crisist at age 17. Because  she is like “ Gale is mine I am his bull shit” 

Alone in the kitchen with Gale, I sit on Hazelle's stool, holding his hand. After a while, my fingers find his face. I touch parts of him I have never had cause to touch before. His heavy, dark eyebrows, the curve of his cheek, the line of his nose, the hollow at the base of his neck. I trace the outline of stubble on his jaw and finally work my way to his lips. Soft and full, slightly chapped. His breath warms my chilled skin. Does everyone look younger asleep? Because right now he could be the boy I ran into in the woods years ago, the one who accused me of stealing from his traps. What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely committed, too, to keeping our families alive. Desperate, yet no longer alone after that day, because we'd found each other. I think of a hundred moments in the woods, lazy afternoons fishing, the day I taught him to swim, that time I twisted my knee and he carried me home. Mutually counting on each other, watching each other's backs, forcing each other to be brave. For the first time, I reverse our positions in my head. I imagine watching Gale volunteering to save Rory in the reaping, having him torn from my life, becoming some strange girl's lover to stay alive, and then coming home with her. Living next to her. Promising to marry her. The hatred I feel for him, for the phantom girl, for everything, is so real and immediate that it chokes me. Gale is mine. I am his. Anything else is unthinkable. Why did it take him being whipped within an inch of his life to see it? Because I'm selfish. I'm a coward. I'm the kind of girl who, when she might actually be of use, would run to stay alive and leave those who couldn't follow to suffer and die. This is the girl Gale met in the woods today. No wonder I won the Games. No decent person ever does. You saved Peeta, I think weakly. But now I question even that. I knew good and well that my life back in District 12 would be unlivable if I let that boy die. I rest my head forward on the edge of the table, overcome with loathing for myself. Wishing I had died in the arena. Wishing Seneca Crane had blown me to bits the way President Snow said he should have when I held out the berries. The berries. I realize the answer to who I am lies in that handful of poisonous fruit. If I held them out to save Peeta because I knew I would be shunned if I came back without him, then I am despicable. If I held them out because I loved him, I am still self-centered, although forgivable. But if I held them out to defy the Capitol, I am someone of worth. The trouble is, I don't know exactly what was going on inside me at that moment. Could it be the people in the districts are right? That it was an act of rebellion, even if it was an unconscious one? Because, deep down, I must know it isn't enough to keep myself, or my family, or my friends alive by running away. Even if I could. It wouldn't fix anything. It wouldn't stop people from being hurt the way Gale was today. Life in District 12 isn't really so different from life in the arena. At some point, you have to stop running and turn around and face whoever wants you dead. The hard thing is finding the courage to do it. Well, it's not hard for Gale. He was born a rebel. I'm the one making an escape plan. "I'm so sorry," I whisper. I lean forward and kiss him. His eyelashes flutter and he looks at me through a haze of opiates. "Hey, Catnip." "Hey, Gale," I say. "Thought you'd be gone by now," he says. My choices are simple. I can die like quarry in the woods or I can die here beside Gale. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay right here and cause all kinds of trouble." "Me, too," Gale says. He just manages a smile before the drugs pull him back under.

Catching fire Chapter 9 Page 120 

Someone gives my shoulder a shake and I sit up. I've fallen asleep with my face on the table. The white cloth has left creases on my good cheek. The other, the one that took the lash from Thread, throbs painfully. Gale's dead to the world, but his fingers are locked around mine. I smell fresh bread and turn my stiff neck to find Peeta looking down at me with such a sad expression. I get the sense that he's been watching us awhile. "Go on up to bed, Katniss. I'll look after him now," he says. "Peeta. About what I said yesterday, about running - " I begin. "I know," he says. "There's nothing to explain." I see the loaves of bread on the counter in the pale, snowy morning light. The blue shadows under his eyes. I wonder if he slept at all. Couldn't have been long. I think of his agreeing to go with me yesterday, his stepping up beside me to protect Gale, his willingness to throw his lot in with mine entirely when I give him so little in return. No matter what I do, I'm hurting someone. "Peeta - " "Just go to bed, okay?" he says.

Catching fire Chapter 12 pages 169-170 

I'm hoping she's wrong. I haven't had time to prepare Gale for any of this. Since the whipping, I only see him when he comes to the house for my mother to check how he's healing. He's often scheduled seven days a week in the mine. In the few minutes of privacy we've had, with me walking him back to town, I gather that the rumblings of an uprising in 12 have been subdued by Thread's crackdown. He knows I'm not going to run. But he must also know that if we don't revolt in 12, I'm destined to be Peeta's bride. Seeing me lounging around in gorgeous gowns on his television ... what can he do with that?

Catching fire Chapter  13  Pages 178-179

Thanks," I say. I should go see Peeta now, but I don't want to. My head's spinning from the drink, and I'm so wiped out, who knows what he could get me to agree to? No, now I have to go home to face my mother and Prim. As I stagger up the steps to my house, the front door opens and Gale pulls me into his arms. "I was wrong. We should have gone when you said," he whispers. "No," I say. I'm having trouble focusing, and liquor keeps sloshing out of my bottle and down the back of Gale's jacket, but he doesn't seem to care. "It's not too late," he says. Over his shoulder, I see my mother and Prim clutching each other in the doorway. We run. They die. And now I've got Peeta to protect. End of discussion. "Yeah, it is." My knees give way and he's holding me up. As the alcohol overcomes my mind, I hear the glass bottle shatter on the floor. This seems appropriate since I have obviously lost my grip on everything. 

Catching Fire Chaper 13 ( Later on) Pages 185-186 

Even Gale steps into the picture on Sundays, although he's got no love for Peeta or Haymitch, and teaches us all he knows about snares. It's weird for me, being in conversations with both Peeta and Gale, but they seem to have set aside whatever issues they have about me. One night, as I'm walking Gale back into town, he even admits, "It'd be better if he were easier to hate." "Tell me about it," I say. "If I could've just hated him in the arena, we all wouldn't be in this mess now. He'd be dead, and I'd be a happy little victor all by myself." "And where would we be, Katniss?" asks Gale. I pause, not knowing what to say. Where would I be with my pretend cousin who wouldn't be my cousin if it weren't for Peeta? Would he have still kissed me and would I have kissed him back had I been free to do so? Would I have let myself open up to him, lulled by the security of money and food and the illusion of safety being a victor could bring under different circumstances? But there would still always be the reaping looming over us, over our children. No matter what I wanted ... "Hunting. Like every Sunday," I say. I know he didn't mean the question literally, but this is as much as I can honestly give. Gale knows I chose him over Peeta when I didn't make a run for it. To me, there's no point in talking about things that might have been. Even if I had killed Peeta in the arena, I still wouldn't have wanted to marry anyone. I only got engaged to save people's lives, and that completely backfired. I'm afraid, anyway, that any kind of emotional scene with Gale might cause him to do something drastic. Like start that uprising in the mines. And as Haymitch says, District 12 isn't ready for that. If anything, they're less ready than before the Quarter Quell announcement, because the following morning another hundred Peacekeepers arrived on the train. Since I don't plan on making it back alive a second time, the sooner Gale lets me go, the better. I do plan on saying one or two things to him after the reaping, when we're allowed an hour for good-byes. To let Gale know how essential he's been to me all these years. How much better my life has been for knowing him. For loving him, even if it's only in the limited way that I can manage. But I never get the chance.

Now the only time she Mentions Gale in the arena is when  Peeta pretty much  is reminding her  value alive. That her Family and Gale needs her.  and Other then that She did say her personal goodbyes since she has no intent on coming back alive and the Jabber jay attack. But that’s it. She didn’t think of him when Peeta nearly died. or  when Peeta said that Katniss was pregnat and Already Married. Nope her thoughts were okay well oh shit now what. Okay play it cool loll.  

 Mockingjay   Chapter 2  Pages  27- 31 

After a while, the door opens and someone slips in. Gale slides down beside me, his nose trickling blood. "What happened?" I ask. "I got in Boggs's way," he answers with a shrug. I use my sleeve to wipe his nose. "Watch it!" I try to be gentler. Patting, not wiping. "Which one is he?" "Oh, you know. Coin's right-hand lackey. The one who tried to stop you." He pushes my hand away. "Quit! You'll bleed me to death."

The trickle has turned to a steady stream. I give up on the first-aid attempts. "You fought with Boggs?" "No, just blocked the doorway when he tried to follow you. His elbow caught me in the nose," says Gale. "They'll probably punish you," I say. "Already have." He holds up his wrist. I stare at it uncomprehendingly. "Coin took back my communicuff." I bite my lip, trying to remain serious. But it seems so ridiculous. "I'm sorry, Soldier Gale Hawthorne." "Don't be, Soldier Katniss Everdeen." He grins. "I felt like a jerk walking around with it anyway." We both start laughing. "I think it was quite a demotion." This is one of the few good things about 13. Getting Gale back. With the pressure of the Capitol's arranged marriage between Peeta and me gone, we've managed to regain our friendship. He doesn't push it any further - try to kiss me or talk about love. Either I've been too sick, or he's willing to give me space, or he knows it's just too cruel with Peeta in the hands of the Capitol. Whatever the case, I've got someone to tell my secrets to again. "Who are these people?" I say. "They're us. If we'd had nukes instead of a few lumps of coal," he answers. "I like to think Twelve wouldn't have abandoned the rest of the rebels back in the Dark Days," I say. "We might have. If it was that, surrender, or start a nuclear war," says Gale. "In a way, it's remarkable they survived at all." Maybe it's because I still have the ashes of my own district on my shoes, but for the first time, I give the people of 13 something I have withheld from them: credit. For staying alive against all odds. Their early years must have been terrible, huddled in the chambers beneath the ground after their city was bombed to dust. Population decimated, no possible ally to turn to for aid. Over the past seventy-five years, they've learned to be self-sufficient, turned their citizens into an army, and built a new society with no help from anyone. They would be even more powerful if that pox epidemic hadn't flattened their birthrate and made them so desperate for a new gene pool and breeders. Maybe they are militaristic, overly programmed, and somewhat lacking in a sense of humor. They're here. And willing to take on the Capitol. "Still, it took them long enough to show up," I say. "It wasn't simple. They had to build up a rebel base in the Capitol, get some sort of underground organized in the districts," he says. "Then they needed someone to set the whole thing in motion. They needed you." "They needed Peeta, too, but they seem to have forgotten that," I say. 

Gale's expression darkens. "Peeta might have done a lot of damage tonight. Most of the rebels will dismiss what he said immediately, of course. But there are districts where the resistance is shakier. The cease-fire's clearly President Snow's idea. But it seems so reasonable coming out of Peeta's mouth."

I'm afraid of Gale's answer, but I ask anyway. "Why do you think he said it?" "He might have been tortured. Or persuaded. My guess is he made some kind of deal to protect you. He'd put forth the idea of the cease-fire if Snow let him present you as a confused pregnant girl who had no idea what was going on when she was taken prisoner by the rebels. This way, if the districts lose, there's still a chance of leniency for you. If you play it right." I must still look perplexed because Gale delivers the next line very slowly. "Katniss...he's still trying to keep you alive." To keep me alive?And then I understand. The Games are still on. We have left the arena, but since Peeta and I weren't killed, his last wish to preserve my life still stands. His idea is to have me lie low, remain safe and imprisoned, while the war plays out. Then neither side will really have cause to kill me. And Peeta? If the rebels win, it will be disastrous for him. If the Capitol wins, who knows? Maybe we'll both be allowed to live - if I play it right - to watch the Games go on.... Images flash through my mind: the spear piercing Rue's body in the arena, Gale hanging senseless from the whipping post, the corpse-littered wasteland of my home. And for what? For what? As my blood turns hot, I remember other things. My first glimpse of an uprising in District 8. The victors locked hand in hand the night before the Quarter Quell. And how it was no accident, my shooting that arrow into the force field in the arena. How badly I wanted it to lodge deep in the heart of my enemy. I spring up, upsetting a box of a hundred pencils, sending them scattering around the floor. "What is it?" Gale asks. "There can't be a cease-fire." I lean down, fumbling as I shove the sticks of dark gray graphite back into the box. "We can't go back." "I know." Gale sweeps up a handful of pencils and taps them on the floor into perfect alignment. "Whatever reason Peeta had for saying those things, he's wrong." The stupid sticks won't go in the box and I snap several in my frustration. "I know. Give it here. You're breaking them to bits." He pulls the box from my hands and refills it with swift, concise motions. "He doesn't know what they did to Twelve. If he could've seen what was on the ground" - I start. "Katniss, I'm not arguing. If I could hit a button and kill every living soul working for the Capitol, I would do it. Without hesitation." He slides the last pencil into the box and flips the lid closed. "The question is, what are you going to do?" It turns out the question that's been eating away at me has only ever had one possible answer. But it took Peeta's ploy for me to recognize it. What am I going to do? I take a deep breath. My arms rise slightly - as if recalling the black-and-white wings Cinna gave me - then come to rest at my sides. "I'm going to be the Mockingjay."

Mockingjay  Chapter 3 Pages 39-41 

I skim my list. "Gale. I'll need him with me to do this." "With you how? Off camera? By your side at all times? Do you want him presented as your new lover?" Coin asks. She hasn't said this with any particular malice - quite the contrary, her words are very matter-of-fact. But my mouth still drops open in shock. "What?" "I think we should continue the current romance. A quick defection from Peeta could cause the audience to lose sympathy for her," says Plutarch. "Especially since they think she's pregnant with his child." "Agreed. So, on-screen, Gale can simply be portrayed as a fellow rebel. Is that all right?" says Coin. I just stare at her. She repeats herself impatiently. "For Gale. Will that be sufficient?" "We can always work him in as your cousin," says Fulvia.

"We're not cousins," Gale and I say together.

"Right, but we should probably keep that up for appearances' sake on camera," says Plutarch. "Off camera, he's all yours. Anything else?"

I'm rattled by the turn in the conversation. The implications that I could so readily dispose of Peeta, that I'm in love with Gale, that the whole thing has been an act. My cheeks begin to burn. The very notion that I'm devoting any thought to who I want presented as my lover, given our current circumstances, is demeaning. I let my anger propel me into my greatest demand. "When the war is over, if we've won, Peeta will be pardoned."

Dead silence. I feel Gale's body tense. I guess I should have told him before, but I wasn't sure how he'd respond. Not when it involved Peeta.

"No form of punishment will be inflicted," I continue. A new thought occurs to me. "The same goes for the other captured tributes, Johanna and Enobaria." Frankly, I don't care about Enobaria, the vicious District 2 tribute. In fact, I dislike her, but it seems wrong to leave her out.

"No," says Coin flatly.

"Yes," I shoot back. "It's not their fault you abandoned them in the arena. Who knows what the Capitol's doing to them?"

"They'll be tried with other war criminals and treated as the tribunal sees fit," she says.

"They'll be granted immunity!" I feel myself rising from my chair, my voice full and resonant. "You will personally pledge this in front of the entire population of District Thirteen and the remainder of Twelve. Soon. Today. It will be recorded for future generations. You will hold yourself and your government responsible for their safety, or you'll find yourself another Mockingjay!"

Mockingjay Chapter 4  Pages 53-55. 

We hunt, like in the old days. Silent, needing no words to communicate, because here in the woods we move as two parts of one being. Anticipating each other's movements, watching each other's backs. How long has it been? Eight months? Nine? Since we had this freedom? It's not exactly the same, given all that's happened and the trackers on our ankles and the fact that I have to rest so often. But it's about as close to happiness as I think I can currently get. The animals here are not nearly suspicious enough. That extra moment it takes to place our unfamiliar scent means their death. In an hour and a half, we've got a mixed dozen - rabbits, squirrels, and turkeys - and decide to knock off to spend the remaining time by a pond that must be fed by an underground spring, since the water's cool and sweet. When Gale offers to clean the game, I don't object. I stick a few mint leaves on my tongue, close my eyes, and lean back against a rock, soaking in the sounds, letting the scorching afternoon sun burn my skin, almost at peace until Gale's voice interrupts me. "Katniss, why do you care so much about your prep team?" I open my eyes to see if he's joking, but he's frowning down at the rabbit he's skinning. "Why shouldn't I?" "Hm. Let's see. Because they've spent the last year prettying you up for slaughter?" he suggests. "It's more complicated than that. I know them. They're not evil or cruel. They're not even smart. Hurting them, it's like hurting children. They don't see...I mean, they don't know..." I get knotted up in my words. "They don't know what, Katniss?" he says. "That tributes - who are the actual children involved here, not your trio of freaks - are forced to fight to the death? That you were going into that arena for people's amusement? Was that a big secret in the Capitol?" "No. But they don't view it the way we do," I say. "They're raised on it and - " "Are you actually defending them?" He slips the skin from the rabbit in one quick move. That stings, because, in fact, I am, and it's ridiculous. I struggle to find a logical position. "I guess I'm defending anyone who's treated like that for taking a slice of bread. Maybe it reminds me too much of what happened to you over a turkey!" Still, he's right. It does seem strange, my level of concern over the prep team. I should hate them and want to see them strung up. But they're so clueless, and they belonged to Cinna, and he was on my side, right? "I'm not looking for a fight," Gale says. "But I don't think Coin was sending you some big message by punishing them for breaking the rules here. She probably thought you'd see it as a favor." He stuffs the rabbit in the sack and rises. "We better get going if we want to make it back on time." I ignore his offer of a hand up and get to my feet unsteadily. "Fine." Neither of us talks on the way back, but once we're inside the gate, I think of something else. "During the Quarter Quell, Octavia and Flavius had to quit because they couldn't stop crying over me going back in. And Venia could barely say good-bye." "I'll try and keep that in mind as they...remake you," says Gale. "Do," I say.

Chapter 5  Mockingjay pages 63-64 

Gale, who's not usually much of a talker during meals, makes an effort to keep the conversation going, asking about the makeover. I know it's his attempt at smoothing things over. We argued last night after he suggested I'd left Coin no choice but to counter my demand for the victors' safety with one of her own. "Katniss, she's running this district. She can't do it if it seems like she's caving in to your will." "You mean she can't stand any dissent, even if it's fair," I'd countered. "I mean you put her in a bad position. Making her give Peeta and the others immunity when we don't even know what sort of damage they might cause," Gale had said. "So I should've just gone with the program and let the other tributes take their chances? Not that it matters, because that's what we're all doing anyway!" That was when I'd slammed the door in his face. I hadn't sat with him at breakfast, and when Plutarch had sent him down to training this morning, I'd let him go without a word. I know he only spoke out of concern for me, but I really need him to be on my side, not Coin's. How can he not know that? After lunch, Gale and I are scheduled to go down to Special Defense to meet Beetee. As we ride the elevator, Gale finally says, "You're still angry." "And you're still not sorry," I reply. "I still stand by what I said. Do you want me to lie about it?" he asks. "No, I want you to rethink it and come up with the right opinion," I tell him. But this just makes him laugh. I have to let it go. There's no point in trying to dictate what Gale thinks. Which, if I'm honest, is one reason I trust him. 

Mockingjay Chapter 6 Pages 81-82 

Fulvia Cardew hustles over and makes a sound of frustration when she sees my clean face. "All that work, down the drain. I'm not blaming you, Katniss. It's just that very few people are born with camera-ready faces. Like him." She snags Gale, who's in a conversation with Plutarch, and spins him toward us. "Isn't he handsome?" Gale does look striking in the uniform, I guess. But the question just embarrasses us both, given our history. I'm trying to think of a witty comeback, when Boggs says brusquely, "Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear." I decide to go ahead and like Boggs.  

Chapter 9 Mockingjay Pages 116 -118

Come morning, I stick my forearm in the wall and stare groggily at the day's schedule. Immediately after breakfast, I am slated for Production. In the dining hall, as I down my hot grain and milk and mushy beets, I spot a communicuff on Gale's wrist. "When did you get that back, Soldier Hawthorne?" I ask. "Yesterday. They thought if I'm going to be in the field with you, it could be a backup system of communication," says Gale. No one has ever offered me a communicuff. I wonder, if I asked for one, would I get it? "Well, I guess one of us has to be accessible," I say with an edge to my voice. "What's that mean?" he says. "Nothing. Just repeating what you said," I tell him. "And I totally agree that the accessible one should be you. I just hope I still have access to you as well." Our eyes lock, and I realize how furious I am with Gale. That I don't believe for a second that he didn't see Peeta's propo. That I feel completely betrayed that he didn't tell me about it. We know each other too well for him not to read my mood and guess what has caused it. "Katniss - " he begins. Already the admission of guilt is in his tone. I grab my tray, cross to the deposit area, and slam the dishes onto the rack. By the time I'm in the hallway, he's caught up with me. "Why didn't you say something?" he asks, taking my arm. "Why didn'tI ?" I jerk my arm free. "Why didn'tyou , Gale? And I did, by the way, when I asked you last night about what had been going on!" "I'm sorry. All right? I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell you, but everyone was afraid that seeing Peeta's propo would make you sick," he says. "They were right. It did. But not quite as sick as you lying to me for Coin." At that moment, his communicuff starts beeping. "There she is. Better run. You have things to tell her." For a moment, real hurt registers on his face. Then cold anger replaces it. He turns on his heel and goes. Maybe I have been too spiteful, not given him enough time to explain. Maybe everyone is just trying to protect me by lying to me. I don't care. I'm sick of people lying to me for my own good. Because really it's mostly for their own good. Lie to Katniss about the rebellion so she doesn't do anything crazy. Send her into the arena without a clue so we can fish her out. Don't tell her about Peeta's propo because it might make her sick, and it's hard enough to get a decent performance out of her as it is. I do feel sick. Heartsick. And too tired for a day of production. But I'm already at Remake, so I go in.

Mockingjay Chapter 9  Pages 127-130

As we trudge back through the woods, we reach a boulder, and both Gale and I turn our heads in the same direction, like a pair of dogs catching a scent on the wind. Cressida notices and asks what lies that way. We admit, without acknowledging each other, it's our old hunting rendezvous place. She wants to see it, even after we tell her it's nothing really. Nothing but a place where I was happy, I think. Our rock ledge overlooking the valley. Perhaps a little less green than usual, but the blackberry bushes hang heavy with fruit. Here began countless days of hunting and snaring, fishing and gathering, roaming together through the woods, unloading our thoughts while we filled our game bags. This was the doorway to both sustenance and sanity. And we were each other's key. There's no District 12 to escape from now, no Peacekeepers to trick, no hungry mouths to feed. The Capitol took away all of that, and I'm on the verge of losing Gale as well. The glue of mutual need that bonded us so tightly together for all those years is melting away. Dark patches, not light, show in the spaces between us. How can it be that today, in the face of 12's horrible demise, we are too angry to even speak to each other? Gale as good as lied to me. That was unacceptable, even if he was concerned about my well-being. His apology seemed genuine, though. And I threw it back in his face with an insult to make sure it stung. What is happening to us? Why are we always at odds now? It's all a muddle, but I somehow feel that if I went back to the root of our troubles, my actions would be at the heart of it. Do I really want to drive him away? My fingers encircle a blackberry and pluck it from its stem. I roll it gently between my thumb and forefinger. Suddenly, I turn to him and toss it in his direction. "And may the odds - " I say. I throw it high so he has plenty of time to decide whether to knock it aside or accept it. Gale's eyes train on me, not the berry, but at the last moment, he opens his mouth and catches it. He chews, swallows, and there's a long pause before he says " - beever in your favor." But he does say it. Cressida has us sit in the nook in the rocks, where it's impossible not to be touching, and coaxes us into talking about hunting. What drove us out into the woods, how we met, favorite moments. We thaw, begin to laugh a little, as we relate mishaps with bees and wild dogs and skunks. When the conversation turns to how it felt to translate our skill with weapons to the bombing in 8, I stop talking. Gale just says, "Long overdue." By the time we reach the town square, afternoon's sinking into evening. I take Cressida to the rubble of the bakery and ask her to film something. The only emotion I can muster is exhaustion. "Peeta, this is your home. None of your family has been heard of since the bombing. Twelve is gone. And you're calling for a cease-fire?" I look across the emptiness. "There's no one left to hear you." As we stand before the lump of metal that was the gallows, Cressida asks if either of us has ever been tortured. In answer, Gale pulls off his shirt and turns his back to the camera. I stare at the lash marks, and again hear the whistling of the whip, see his bloody figure hanging unconscious by his wrists. "I'm done," I announce. "I'll meet you at the Victor's Village. Something for...my mother." I guess I walked here, but the next thing I'm conscious of is sitting on the floor in front of the kitchen cabinets of our house in the Victor's Village. Meticulously lining ceramic jars and glass bottles into a box. Placing clean cotton bandages between them to prevent breaking. Wrapping bunches of dried flowers. Suddenly, I remember the rose on my dresser. Was it real? If so, is it still up there? I have to resist the temptation to check. If it's there, it will only frighten me all over again. I hurry with my packing. When the cabinets are empty, I rise to find that Gale has materialized in my kitchen. It's disturbing how soundlessly he can appear. He's leaning on the table, his fingers spread wide against the wood grain. I set the box between us. "Remember?" he asks. "This is where you kissed me." So the heavy dose of morphling administered after the whipping wasn't enough to erase that from his consciousness. "I didn't think you'd remember that," I say. "Have to be dead to forget. Maybe even not then," he tells me. "Maybe I'll be like that man in 'The Hanging Tree.' Still waiting for an answer." Gale, who I have never seen cry, has tears in his eyes. To keep them from spilling over, I reach forward and press my lips against his. We taste of heat, ashes, and misery. It's a surprising flavor for such a gentle kiss. He pulls away first and gives me a wry smile. "I knew you'd kiss me." "How?" I say. Because I didn't know myself. "Because I'm in pain," he says. "That's the only way I get your attention." He picks up the box. "Don't worry, Katniss. It'll pass." He leaves before I can answer.

Mockingjay Chapter 11  Page 158 

"Can we have a coffee?" asks Finnick. Steaming cups are handed out. I stare distastefully at the shiny black liquid, never having been much of a fan of the stuff, but thinking it might help me stay on my feet. Finnick sloshes some cream in my cup and reaches into the sugar bowl. "Want a sugar cube?" he asks in his old seductive voice. That's how we met, with Finnick offering me sugar. Surrounded by horses and chariots, costumed and painted for the crowds, before we were allies. Before I had any idea what made him tick. The memory actually coaxes a smile out of me. "Here, it improves the taste," he says in his real voice, plunking three cubes in my cup. As I turn to go suit up as the Mockingjay, I catch Gale watching me and Finnick unhappily. What now? Does he actually think something's going on between us? Maybe he saw me go to Finnick's last night. I would've passed the Hawthornes' space to get there. I guess that probably rubbed him the wrong way. Me seeking out Finnick's company instead of his. Well, fine. I've got rope burn on my fingers, I can barely hold my eyes open, and a camera crew's waiting for me to do something brilliant. And Snow's got Peeta. Gale can think whatever he wants.

Mockingjay Chapter 13 Page 185-186

Gale must have been released from the hospital this morning as well, because I find him in one of the research rooms with Beetee. They're immersed, heads bent over a drawing, taking a measurement. Versions of the picture litter the table and floor. Tacked on the corkboard walls and occupying several computer screens are other designs of some sort. In the rough lines of one, I recognize Gale's twitch-up snare. "What are these?" I ask hoarsely, pulling their attention from the sheet. "Ah, Katniss, you've found us out," says Beetee cheerfully. "What? Is this a secret?" I know Gale's been down here working with Beetee a lot, but I assumed they were messing around with bows and guns. "Not really. But I've felt a little guilty about it. Stealing Gale away from you so much," Beetee admits. Since I've spent most of my time in 13 disoriented, worried, angry, being remade, or hospitalized, I can't say Gale's absences have inconvenienced me. Things haven't been exactly harmonious between us, either. But I let Beetee think he owes me. "I hope you've been putting his time to good use." "Come and see," he says, waving me over to a computer screen. This is what they've been doing. Taking the fundamental ideas behind Gale's traps and adapting them into weapons against humans. Bombs mostly. It's less about the mechanics of the traps than the psychology behind them. Booby-trapping an area that provides something essential to survival. A water or food supply. Frightening prey so that a large number flee into a greater destruction. Endangering off-spring in order to draw in the actual desired target, the parent. Luring the victim into what appears to be a safe haven - where death awaits it. At some point, Gale and Beetee left the wilderness behind and focused on more human impulses. Like compassion. A bomb explodes. Time is allowed for people to rush to the aid of the wounded. Then a second, more powerful bomb kills them as well. "That seems to be crossing some kind of line," I say. "So anything goes?" They both stare at me - Beetee with doubt, Gale with hostility. "I guess there isn't a rule book for what might be unacceptable to do to another human being." "Sure there is. Beetee and I have been following the same rule book President Snow used when he hijacked Peeta," says Gale. Cruel, but to the point. I leave without further comment. I feel if I don't get outside immediately, I'll just go ballistic,  

Mockingjay Chapter 14  Pages 196-200

Gale finds me when they arrive late one afternoon. I'm sitting on a log at the edge of my current village, plucking a goose. A dozen or so of the birds are piled at my feet. Great flocks of them have been migrating through here since I've arrived, and the pickings are easy. Without a word, Gale settles beside me and begins to relieve a bird of its feathers. We're through about half when he says, "Any chance we'll get to eat these?" "Yeah. Most go to the camp kitchen, but they expect me to give a couple to whoever I'm staying with tonight," I say. "For keeping me." "Isn't the honor of the thing enough?" he says. "You'd think," I reply. "But word's gotten out that mockingjays are hazardous to your health." We pluck in silence for a while longer. Then he says, "I saw Peeta yesterday. Through the glass." "What'd you think?" I ask. "Something selfish," says Gale. "That you don't have to be jealous of him anymore?" My fingers give a yank, and a cloud of feathers floats down around us. "No. Just the opposite." Gale pulls a feather out of my hair. "I thought...I'll never compete with that. No matter how much pain I'm in." He spins the feather between his thumb and forefinger. "I don't stand a chance if he doesn't get better. You'll never be able to let him go. You'll always feel wrong about being with me." "The way I always felt wrong kissing him because of you," I say. Gale holds my gaze. "If I thought that was true, I could almost live with the rest of it." "It is true," I admit. "But so is what you said about Peeta."

Gale makes a sound of exasperation. Nonetheless, after we've dropped off the birds and volunteered to go back to the woods to gather kindling for the evening fire, I find myself wrapped in his arms. His lips brushing the faded bruises on my neck, working their way to my mouth. Despite what I feel for Peeta, this is when I accept deep down that he'll never come back to me. Or I'll never go back to him. I'll stay in 2 until it falls, go to the Capitol and kill Snow, and then die for my trouble. And he'll die insane and hating me. So in the fading light I shut my eyes and kiss Gale to make up for all the kisses I've withheld, and because it doesn't matter anymore, and because I'm so desperately lonely I can't stand it. Gale's touch and taste and heat remind me that at least my body's still alive, and for the moment it's a welcome feeling. I empty my mind and let the sensations run through my flesh, happy to lose myself. When Gale pulls away slightly, I move forward to close the gap, but I feel his hand under my chin. "Katniss," he says. The instant I open my eyes, the world seems disjointed. This is not our woods or our mountains or our way. My hand automatically goes to the scar on my left temple, which I associate with confusion. "Now kiss me." Bewildered, unblinking, I stand there while he leans in and presses his lips to mine briefly. He examines my face closely. "What's going on in your head?"

"I don't know," I whisper back.

"Then it's like kissing someone who's drunk. It doesn't count," he says with a weak attempt at a laugh. He scoops up a pile of kindling and drops it in my empty arms, returning me to myself.

"How do you know?" I say, mostly to cover my embarrassment. "Have you kissed someone who's drunk?" I guess Gale could've been kissing girls right and left back in 12. He certainly had enough takers. I never thought about it much before.

He just shakes his head. "No. But it's not hard to imagine."

"So, you never kissed any other girls?" I ask.

"I didn't say that. You know, you were only twelve when we met. And a real pain besides. I did have a life outside of hunting with you," he says, loading up with firewood.

Suddenly, I'm genuinely curious. "Who did you kiss? And where?"

"Too many to remember. Behind the school, on the slag heap, you name it," he says.

I roll my eyes. "So when did I become so special? When they carted me off to the Capitol?"

"No. About six months before that. Right after New Year's. We were in the Hob, eating some slop of Greasy Sae's. And Darius was teasing you about trading a rabbit for one of his kisses. And I realized...I minded," he tells me.

I remember that day. Bitter cold and dark by four in the afternoon. We'd been hunting, but a heavy snow had driven us back into town. The Hob was crowded with people looking for refuge from the weather. Greasy Sae's soup, made with stock from the bones of a wild dog we'd shot a week earlier, was below her usual standards. Still, it was hot, and I was starving as I scooped it up, sitting cross-legged on her counter. Darius was leaning on the post of the stall, tickling my cheek with the end of my braid, while I smacked his hand away. He was explaining why one of his kisses merited a rabbit, or possibly two, since everyone knows redheaded men are the most virile. And Greasy Sae and I were laughing because he was so ridiculous and persistent and kept pointing out women around the Hob who he said had paid far more than a rabbit to enjoy his lips. "See? The one in the green muffler? Go ahead and ask her.If you need a reference."

A million miles from here, a billion days ago, this happened. "Darius was just joking around," I say.

"Probably. Although you'd be the last to figure out if he wasn't," Gale tells me. "Take Peeta. Take me. Or even Finnick. I was starting to worry he had his eye on you, but he seems back on track now."

"You don't know Finnick if you think he'd love me," I say.

Gale shrugs. "I know he was desperate. That makes people do all kinds of crazy things."

I can't help thinking that's directed at me.

Mockingjay Chapters 14 and 15 Pages 200-  206 

Gale, who is too restless to sit at the table for more than a few hours, has been alternating between pacing and sharing my windowsill. Early on, he seemed to accept Lyme's assertion that the entrances couldn't be taken, and dropped out of the conversation entirely. For the last hour or so, he's sat quietly, his brow knitted in concentration, staring at the Nut through the window glass. In the silence that follows Lyme's ultimatum, he speaks up. "Is it really so necessary that we take the Nut? Or would it be enough to disable it?" "That would be a step in the right direction," says Beetee. "What do you have in mind?" "Think of it as a wild dog den," Gale continues. "You're not going to fight your way in. So you have two choices. Trap the dogs inside or flush them out." "We've tried bombing the entrances," says Lyme. "They're set too far inside the stone for any real damage to be done." "I wasn't thinking of that," says Gale. "I was thinking of using the mountain." Beetee rises and joins Gale at the window, peering through his ill-fitting glasses. "See? Running down the sides?" "Avalanche paths," says Beetee under his breath. "It'd be tricky. We'd have to design the detonation sequence with great care, and once it's in motion, we couldn't hope to control it." "We don't need to control it if we give up the idea that we have to possess the Nut," says Gale. "Only shut it down." "So you're suggesting we start avalanches and block the entrances?" asks Lyme. "That's it," says Gale. "Trap the enemy inside, cut off from supplies. Make it impossible for them to send out their hovercraft." While everyone considers the plan, Boggs flips through a stack of blueprints of the Nut and frowns. "You risk killing everyone inside. Look at the ventilation system. It's rudimentary at best. Nothing like what we have in Thirteen. It depends entirely on pumping in air from the mountainsides. Block those vents and you'll suffocate whoever is trapped." "They could still escape through the train tunnel to the square," says Beetee. "Not if we blow it up," says Gale brusquely. His intent, his full intent, becomes clear. Gale has no interest in preserving the lives of those in the Nut. No interest in caging the prey for later use. This is one of his death traps.

The implications of what Gale is suggesting settle quietly around the room. You can see the reaction playing out on people's faces. The expressions range from pleasure to distress, from sorrow to satisfaction. "The majority of the workers are citizens from Two," says Beetee neutrally. "So what?" says Gale. "We'll never be able to trust them again." "They should at least have a chance to surrender," says Lyme. "Well, that's a luxury we weren't given when they fire-bombed Twelve, but you're all so much cozier with the Capitol here," says Gale. By the look on Lyme's face, I think she might shoot him, or at least take a swing. She'd probably have the upper hand, too, with all her training. But her anger only seems to infuriate him and he yells, "We watched children burn to death and there was nothing we could do!" I have to close my eyes a minute, as the image rips through me. It has the desired effect. I want everyone in that mountain dead. Am about to say so. But then...I'm also a girl from District 12. Not President Snow. I can't help it. I can't condemn someone to the death he's suggesting. "Gale," I say, taking his arm and trying to speak in a reasonable tone. "The Nut's an old mine. It'd be like causing a massive coal mining accident." Surely the words are enough to make anyone from 12 think twice about the plan. "But not so quick as the one that killed our fathers," he retorts. "Is that everyone's problem? That our enemies might have a few hours to reflect on the fact that they're dying, instead of just being blown to bits?" Back in the old days, when we were nothing more than a couple of kids hunting outside of 12, Gale said things like this and worse. But then they were just words. Here, put into practice, they become deeds that can never be reversed. "You don't know how those District Two people ended up in the Nut," I say. "They may have been coerced. They may be held against their will. Some are our own spies. Will you kill them, too?" "I would sacrifice a few, yes, to take out the rest of them," he replies. "And if I were a spy in there, I'd say, 'Bring on the avalanches!'" I know he's telling the truth. That Gale would sacrifice his life in this way for the cause - no one doubts it. Perhaps we'd all do the same if we were the spies and given the choice. I guess I would. But it's a coldhearted decision to make for other people and those who love them. "You said we had two choices," Boggs tells him. "To trap them or to flush them out. I say we try to avalanche the mountain but leave the train tunnel alone. People can escape into the square, where we'll be waiting for them." "Heavily armed, I hope," says Gale. "You can be sure they'll be." "Heavily armed. We'll take them prisoner," agrees Boggs. "Let's bring Thirteen into the loop now," Beetee suggests. "Let President Coin weigh in." "She'll want to block the tunnel," says Gale with conviction. "Yes, most likely. But you know, Peeta did have a point in his propos. About the dangers of killing ourselves off. I've been playing with some numbers. Factoring in the casualties and the wounded and...I think it's at least worth a conversation," says Beetee.

Mockingjay Chapter 15 Page 207 

Gale's plan exceeds anyone's expectations. Beetee was right about being unable to control the avalanches once they'd been set in motion. The mountainsides are naturally unstable, but weakened by the explosions, they seem almost fluid. Whole sections of the Nut collapse before our eyes, obliterating any sign that human beings have ever set foot on the place. We stand speechless, tiny and insignificant, as waves of stone thunder down the mountain. Burying the entrances under tons of rock. Raising a cloud of dirt and debris that blackens the sky. Turning the Nut into a tomb. I imagine the hell inside the mountain. Sirens wailing. Lights flickering into darkness. Stone dust choking the air. The shrieks of panicked, trapped beings stumbling madly for a way out, only to find the entrances, the launchpad, the ventilation shafts themselves clogged with earth and rock trying to force its way in. Live wires flung free, fires breaking out, rubble making a familiar path a maze. People slamming, shoving, scrambling like ants as the hill presses in, threatening to crush their fragile shells.

Mockingay Chapter 17 Page 244 

"I told you he hated me," I say. "It's the way he hates you. It's so...familiar. I used to feel like that," he admits. "When I'd watch you kissing him on the screen. Only I knew I wasn't being entirely fair. He can't see that." We reach my door. "Maybe he just sees me as I really am. I have to get some sleep." Gale catches my arm before I can disappear. "So that's what you're thinking now?" I shrug. "Katniss, as your oldest friend, believe me when I say he's not seeing you as you really are." He kisses my cheek and goes.

Mockingjay Chapter 19 Pages 267-268

The dinner whistle sounds, and Gale and I line up at the canteen. "Do you want me to kill him?" he asks bluntly. "That'll get us both sent back for sure," I say. But even though I'm furious, the brutality of the offer rattles me. "I can deal with him." "You mean until you take off? You and your paper map and possibly a Holo if you can get your hands on it?" So Gale has not missed my preparations. I hope they haven't been so obvious to the others. None of them know my mind like he does, though. "You're not planning on leaving me behind, are you?" he asks. Up until this point, I was. But having my hunting partner to watch my back doesn't sound like a bad idea. "As your fellow soldier, I have to strongly recommend you stay with your squad. But I can't stop you from coming, can I?" He grins. "No. Not unless you want me to alert the rest of the army."

Mockingjay Chapter 19 Page 274

I move to Gale, press my forehead into the body armor where his chest should be, feel his arm tighten around me. We finally know the name of the girl who we watched the Capitol abduct from the woods of 12, the fate of the Peacekeeper friend who tried to keep Gale alive. This is no time to call up happy moments of remembrance. They lost their lives because of me. I add them to my personal list of kills that began in the arena and now includes thousands. When I look up, I see it has taken Gale differently. His expression says that there are not enough mountains to crush, enough cities to destroy. It promises death.

Mockingjay Chapter  23. Pages  328-329 

We change bandages, handcuff Peeta back to his support, and settle down to sleep. A few hours later, I slip back into consciousness and become aware of a quiet conversation. Peeta and Gale. I can't stop myself from eavesdropping. "Thanks for the water," Peeta says. "No problem," Gale replies. "I wake up ten times a night anyway." "To make sure Katniss is still here?" asks Peeta. "Something like that," Gale admits. There's a long pause before Peeta speaks again. "That was funny, what Tigris said. About no one knowing what to do with her." "Well,we never have," Gale says. They both laugh. It's so strange to hear them talking like this. Almost like friends. Which they're not. Never have been. Although they're not exactly enemies. "She loves you, you know," says Peeta. "She as good as told me after they whipped you." "Don't believe it," Gale answers. "The way she kissed you in the Quarter Quell...well, she never kissed me like that." "It was just part of the show," Peeta tells him, although there's an edge of doubt in his voice. "No, you won her over. Gave up everything for her. Maybe that's the only way to convince her you love her." There's a long pause. "I should have volunteered to take your place in the first Games. Protected her then." "You couldn't," says Peeta. "She'd never have forgiven you. You had to take care of her family. They matter more to her than her life." "Well, it won't be an issue much longer. I think it's unlikely all three of us will be alive at the end of the war. And if we are, I guess it's Katniss's problem. Who to choose." Gale yawns. "We should get some sleep." "Yeah." I hear Peeta's handcuffs slide down the support as he settles in. "I wonder how she'll make up her mind." "Oh, that I do know." I can just catch Gale's last words through the layer of fur. "Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without."

Mockingjay Chapter 24 Page 275

A chill runs through me. Am I really that cold and calculating? Gale didn't say, "Katniss will pick whoever it will break her heart to give up," or even "whoever she can't live without." Those would have implied I was motivated by a kind of passion. But my best friend predicts I will choose the person who I think I "can't survive without." There's not the least indication that love, or desire, or even compatibility will sway me. I'll just conduct an unfeeling assessment of what my potential mates can offer me. As if in the end, it will be the question of whether a baker or a hunter will extend my longevity the most. It's a horrible thing for Gale to say, for Peeta not to refute. Especially when every emotion I have has been taken and exploited by the Capitol or the rebels. At the moment, the choice would be simple. I can survive just fine without either of them.

Mockingjay  Chapter 26  Pages 366- 367 

There's a tap at the door and Gale steps in. "Can I have a minute?" he asks. In the mirror, I watch my prep team. Unsure of where to go, they bump into one another a few times and then closet themselves in the bathroom. Gale comes up behind me and we examine each other's reflection. I'm searching for something to hang on to, some sign of the girl and boy who met by chance in the woods five years ago and became inseparable. I'm wondering what would have happened to them if the Hunger Games had not reaped the girl. If she would have fallen in love with the boy, married him even. And sometime in the future, when the brothers and sisters had been raised up, escaped with him into the woods and left 12 behind forever. Would they have been happy, out in the wild, or would the dark, twisted sadness between them have grown up even without the Capitol's help? "I brought you this." Gale holds up a sheath. When I take it, I notice it holds a single, ordinary arrow. "It's supposed to be symbolic. You firing the last shot of the war." "What if I miss?" I say. "Does Coin retrieve it and bring it back to me? Or just shoot Snow through the head herself?" "You won't miss." Gale adjusts the sheath on my shoulder. We stand there, face-to-face, not meeting each other's eyes. "You didn't come see me in the hospital." He doesn't answer, so finally I just say it. "Was it your bomb?" "I don't know. Neither does Beetee," he says. "Does it matter? You'll always be thinking about it." He waits for me to deny it; I want to deny it, but it's true. Even now I can see the flash that ignites her, feel the heat of the flames. And I will never be able to separate that moment from Gale. My silence is my answer.

"That was the one thing I had going for me. Taking care of your family," he says. "Shoot straight, okay?" He touches my cheek and leaves. I want to call him back and tell him that I was wrong. That I'll figure out a way to make peace with this. To remember the circumstances under which he created the bomb. Take into account my own inexcusable crimes. Dig up the truth about who dropped the parachutes. Prove it wasn't the rebels. Forgive him. But since I can't, I'll just have to deal with the pain.

 Chapter 27 Pages 384 385 

  Over the eggs, I ask her, "Where did Gale go?" "District Two. Got some fancy job there. I see him now and again on the television," she says. I dig around inside myself, trying to register anger, hatred, longing. I find only relief. "I'm going hunting today," I say. "Well, I wouldn't mind some fresh game at that," she answers. I arm myself with a bow and arrows and head out, intending to exit 12 through the Meadow. Near the square are teams of masked and gloved people with horse-drawn carts. Sifting through what lay under the snow this winter. Gathering remains. A cart's parked in front of the mayor's house. I recognize Thom, Gale's old crewmate, pausing a moment to wipe the sweat from his face with a rag. I remember seeing him in 13, but he must have come back. His greeting gives me the courage to ask, "Did they find anyone in there?" "Whole family. And the two people who worked for them," Thom tells me. Madge. Quiet and kind and brave. The girl who gave me the pin that gave me a name. I swallow hard. Wonder if she'll be joining the cast of my nightmares tonight. Shoveling the ashes into my mouth. "I thought maybe, since he was the mayor..." "I don't think being the mayor of Twelve put the odds in his favor," says Thom. I nod and keep moving, careful not to look in the back of the cart. All through the town and the Seam, it's the same. The reaping of the dead. As I near the ruins of my old house, the road becomes thick with carts. The Meadow's gone, or at least dramatically altered. A deep pit has been dug, and they're lining it with bones, a mass grave for my people. I skirt around the hole and enter the woods at my usual place. It doesn't matter, though. The fence isn't charged anymore and has been propped up with long branches to keep out the predators. But old habits die hard. I think about going to the lake, but I'm so weak that I barely make it to my meeting place with Gale. I sit on the rock where Cressida filmed us, but it's too wide without his body beside me. Several times I close my eyes and count to ten, thinking that when I open them, he will have materialized without a sound as he so often did. I have to remind myself that Gale's in 2 with a fancy job, probably kissing another pair of lips.

[popculturebuffet]

Top 13 Venture Bros Episodes!

In honor of it’s recent passing I take a look at the best episodes of easily one of the best adult animated, or animated period, shows ever and one of my faviorites. Join me as I look back on Grand Galactic High  Inquistors, Venturestiens, ninja filled first dates, Noir, super science garage sales and much more under the cut, and GO TEAM VENTURE!

As I said in the teaser.. the Venture Bros is one of my favorite shows of all time. Starting way back in 2003, the show created by Jackson “Christopher Mculloch” Publick and from mid season 1 onwards cowritten, plotted and what have you by his best friend and creative soulmate Doc Hammer, the show enjoyed a healthy 17 year run on adult swim, making it the longest standing show and despite the years of hiatuses between episodes it’s most popular till Rick and Morty came around. The show endured through changing trends in animation, network shifts and scabies until it’s recently announced, though apparently having happened months ago, cancellation.  I watched the show from the start, sneaking it as a boy and by my teen years watching it every week online through Adult Swim’s website and lapping up every episode, becoming a huge fan in the process and continuing my huge love of the series through the rest of it’s life, breifly forgetting to watch season 6 but getting back to it weekly for the 7th, and currently unless adult swim does indeed find a way to bring it back, final season. This show has been a part of my life since it started, and a part of me for slightly less long: it informed my sense of humor, probably informed my comics taste in ragtag groups consiting of lesser known characters, and informed me david bowie existed for which my life will ever be better.  It was a part of me and while I gave it a breif memorial earlier I felt after my long content hiatus due to my moven to another room, and for the 1 of you reading this who reads my amphibia weekly coverage it’ll be back shortly, that honoring a show that gave me so much and made me who I am, in a good way I know i’m kind of a mess so that statment could be seen as a threat in some states, by diving into my faviorite episodes of it and the ones I honeslty consider i’ts finest half hours.. or hours in two cases but we’ll get to that. 

For now it’s time to have your ro-bo pour you a red mocho cooler, slap on your vintage batman mask, and eat some pennies quizboys, this is my top 13 venture bros episodes. Pitter Patter!

13. It Happening One Night (Season 6, Episode 6) 

Season 6 had a huge burst of fresh energy and ideas: Doc and Jackson moved the show to New York for a number of reasons: To shake things up, because they lived there and thus could inject the energy of a city they loved in and because one of the series biggets inspriations is marvel comics, as seen by the sheer number of marvel parodies and homages in comparison to dc or other superhero outlets, so having New York be the big hub for superhero and villian activity in the ventureverse was a no brainer. This also moved the ventures from an isolated corner of the Ventureverse on their old compound, which burned down in the gargantua 2 special, right into the heart of it, bringing in tons of new characters to the already large cast. Not only that but it thrust our heroes and villian protaganists both into new and intresting situations: Doctor Venture was suddenly rich and running his own think tank with white and billy. Dean was going to college, Hank found a love intrest in Serena, more on that obviously in a second, Brock returned to the team proper as bodyguard once more, while the Monarch grappled with both his father being a hero and his wife being promoted and their marraige hitting choppy waters. It had great new characters like warina and serena, brought fan faviorite brown widow in if not as much as i’d like frankly, but there’s always room for nathan fillion, and freshened things up a bit.  Granted one of Venture Bros biggest strengths was it didn’t have the rigid status quo, or entire lack of any continuity a lot of animated shows at the time and even now have, that things changed and evolved and the universe was dense as it was wonderful. But here instead of just moving the pieces around the board and maybe slapping on some new coats of pait, they threw the board up and put the pieces on an enitrley new one. However all this experimentation did nick the show a little: while it was a step up from the rather standard outside of Dean’s plot Season 5 (which not concendtially is the only season not represented here), it also felt like the plots were a bit looser and some characters like Dermott and Dr. Orpheous, one of whom had a huge untouched subplot and the other who was a beloved fan faviorite and fixture of the show since season 1, got left out all together. It was a decent season it just felt lacking at times, and the Monarch and Shielda’s relationship disolving wasn’t at all fun to watch and thankfully got resolved next season. And that was the other problem: Due to wanting to give their big epic finale the room it needed and only having 8 episodes to work with due to the special, they had to move it to next season which meant it just sorta.. ended with most things left unresolved till season 7. Thankfully for me I didn’t get around to watching this season till close to 7, but for everyone else they had to wait YEARS for a proper resolution. It was  a mixed bag of a season, the mass changes leading to growing pains, but it had it’s moments. And naturally our one season 6 representivie here is it’s finest. 

It Happening One Night juggles two diffrent but equally awesome plots. In the first Hank goes on his first date with Serena, their new next door neighbor and daughter of big villain in town, new councilman and combination of kingpin and tobias whale, Wide Whale. Serena was one of the best additions to the series, voiced by a game Cristini Miloti, she’s a no nonsense girl with a sharp tounge, an annoyance with her father and his number 2 rocko’s overprotectivness of her and gills and meshes well with hank: Her no nonsense and more down to earth attitude compliments his up int he clouds weirdness and lack of reality really well and the two were cute together. Were... while they’d do.. things I did not like.. with her character next season, for this one she’s great and a fine addition and it was nice to give one of the boys a proper love interest, while also having her be her own person. Sure all her plots centered around hank.. but she still felt like a fully realized addition to the cast and given this was over a decade in with so many great members it wasn’t an easy task.  The date is paticuarlly hank as he has a carraige (his air car) ready, has dean chauffer them, has Billy and White show up as street toughs to challenge him to a dance off and dinner is at a ninja themed restraunt Dean’s friend Jared, aka brown widow, works at. It’s really adorable and charming stuff, and the two genuinely bond, and Hank gets some good character stuff. He genuinely worries Serena is only intrested to piss off her dad.. but fins she likes him for who he is: his charm, his lack of fear, and the fact he went so far for a romantic gesture he had his friends dress up as street toughs, or the hank venture idea of one anyway, and get into a dance off just to impress. her. it’s really good stuff. The Ninja themed restraunt is also both hilarious and apparently a very real thing the creators actually toned down. I’m unsuprised by all of this. The two also dodge their bodyguards, Brock and Rocco and share a romantic kiss underwater leading to the above. It’s a really good plot and the easy reason why I put it on here and defintely a review cantidate.  The other plot however is just pure comedy and invention. While the Monarch works on his plan to use his dad’s blue morpho guise to take out the other arches on his way to venture, Venture is plauged by the utterly bizzare and utterly delightful Doom Factory: A combination of Andy Warhol and his hangers on and the legion of doom... yes this actually happened. While I know nothing of Warhol and thus a lot of it flew over my head, it’s made up for by the sheer joyous lunacy of having the art school version of the legion of doom arch rusty by invading his house, throwing a party and taking various pictures of him in his underwear. The one mistep of the episode is them getting blown up at the end despite being great, but their one apperance was a treat, and it was such a great and bizzarely speific parody I couldn’t help but love it. It was a good night indeed. 

12. Tag Sale, You’re It! (Season 1, Episode 6 (10 in airing order) Season 1 of The Venture Bros is a bit rocky. It’s not unusual for season 1′s but it’s understandable, espcesially now i’ve read Go Team Venture!: The Art of the Venture Bros, the art book for the series as well as a full on making of for seasons 1-6, and know the team was under immense crunch to get the season done and is likely the reason every season after had a few years between them. But yeah at the start the series was more of a broad comedy, with the characters being the simiplest versions of their characters, the boys in paticular only having “jock and nerd” as things that defined them as seperate people early on and it took a bit for things to come together. However things really started to crystalize into what the show would truly be with two episodes. One we’ll get to later but the other is this one: Tag Sale Your It.  Tag Sale started one of my faviorite recurring themes for the series: Venture Compound Episodes. Basically their episodes where a huge pile of the shows cast get together at the venture compound for whatever reason and chaos, great jokes and great worldbuilding inveitbly insues. It’s good stuff. And it’s usually centerted around a great concept.  In this case all the villians and heroes of the world are gathering at the Venture Compound for of all things, a Garage Sale. Or Tag Sale as it’s called in the title or Yard Sale as Venutre himself calls it. In order to make a quick buck and get rid of some of his dad’s excess scientific wonders, Rusty’s sellling them off to whatever weirdo wants em. it’s an utterly hilarious concept, with Brock complaning about the security risk and the fact Doc is entirely convinced this won’t go horribly wrong despite the fact he has a bargin bin for death rays, one of my faviorite gags of the episode. But there’s still plenty of sense here too: There’s what i’m presuming are OSI agents on standbye, who also screen the various villians to have them check their weapons. 

The episode also opens the cast up considerably introducing Phantom Limb, and fleshing out Billy and Pete, as well as being the episode where two of the casts standouts came into their own as 21 and 24 go off on their own misadventur where 21 uses the monarchs money to buy what turns out ot bea non working lightsaber and tries to fight brock in one of the best scenes of the episode.  Speaking of the Monarch, . The Monarch himself is there to cause miscihief, as usual, as well as have his minons buy him some stuff because he’s not going to miss a bargin, and finds himself struggling to get his hate boner up in a neat subplot, eventually acheiving it even if it gets him stuck to the celing However the other two subplots really shine. Orpheous in a micro plot, and after yelling at Dr. Venture for trying to sell the weed wacker he borrowed from Oprheous, tries to get his own nemisis, a thread that would continue at the end of the season and into the next, having a ghost slap the monarch ot try and get him to become Orpheous arch and telling various villians he’s blasting who they can blame if they want to swear vegnance. It’s short but really funny.  The other however is my faviorite and the plot that really set up hank’s bizzarely and uniquely him personality, which would be expanded on more as the show went on. Annoyed that their dad is selling their old things and getting the money, Hank decides to get him and Dean a piece of the action and sets up his own grinder and lemonade stand, Hank Co, starting the sparkling runner of his bizzare personal buisness, and while the lemonade stand is standard kids stuff, the added oddly specific addition of grinders is what makes it hank as is his oddly agreesive managment style. Dean ends up working for him alongside HELPEr, while Dean awkwardly talks up Orpheous daughter triana. More on that whole thing in a later entry, with Triana joining in. It’s just a fun side bit that ends hilariously as, when the sale cascades into an orgy of violence as it was always destined to, the rest of the team book it while Hank definatly refuses to get knocked down before a shoe hits him. 

IT’s a damn fun time that sets up the backbone of the show’s universe. Nuff Said. 

11. Pinstripes and Poltergeists (Season 4, Episode 8)  Season 4 is easily my faviorite season hands down, and in my opinion the best, in part helped by the fact it’s the longest and thus had the most time to work on it. Like season 6, if on a smaller scale, it threw up the table. While Season 2 and 3 had status quo changes, the Monarch being on his own without the guild or dr girlfriend and then the newly married couple being forced to arch eleswhere this one had probably the biggets shakeups: Brock Sampson left team venture, and was MIA for all but two episodes of the first half, Sgt. Hatred took over as boydguard a move that wasn’t one of there best as while Hatred could be funny at times.. replacing one of the show’s most beloved and most iconic characters with a reformed pedophile who fans already didn’t like all that much in season 3 wasn’t one of Jackson and Doc’s smarter moves let’s be honest. Again he has his moments, but he just wasn’t as compelling or well fleshed out as the rest of hte main cast, helper included.  The other big swing, one admitted in the making of art book that was an intentional risk, was killing off 24, half of the beloved buddy duo of 21  and 24. However this one paid off way better, as 21, while still a husky dork who loves his crappy job, reinvented himself in the wake of hte tragedy, turning a lot of his blubber into muscle (And I say that as a chub myself, so relax), and becoming the badass drill seargent of the cocoon.  But both big changes expertly dovetailed into this episode which explains where brock was after the premiere. The ball gets rolling when the Monarch goes to see Monstroso, a great addition to the series and the sum of all evil lawyer jokes, a lawyer in a pinstripe suit and small devil hood who makes deals with other supervillians, in this case to buy up part of the venture compound to take it from Rusty.   Naturally making a deal with a lawyer super villian who dresses like the devil, every bit of that sentence a red flag, goes poorly. As Shiela points out in one of the series best lines as she berates her husband’s terrible decision making “Monstro’s a lawyer that’s also a super villian. That’s like a shark with a rocket launcher strapped to his head, and the monstroso plans to take the monarch’s stuff as well. It falls to 21 to stop him and 21 is on the venture compound to find our missiing sampson and get answers on who killed his best friend, whose also following him around possibly as a ghost/hallucination.  Speaking of Brock, when exploring a shack on the edge of the property to use it for stuff, Rusty finds instead the base for SPHINX, consiting of Hunter Gathers (Who I hope gets to retransition someday), gay icon Shore Leave, and Brock Himself. Turns out Brocks literally been right there, SPHINX Just needed to stay secret and the pain of not being able to see the boys has seriously hurt brock. And naturally this deal will impact spinix, so they send brock to deal with it.  This leads to the best part of the episode as the above episode gets a callback as 21 challenges brock to a fight.. and to show how far he’s come, instead of becoming a bloody pile on the lawn, fights EVENELY with brock freaking sampson. After it’s confirmed brock has nothing to do with it and 21 and him have wiggle room to operate, the two go after monstroso who next we see needs heart surgery so mission acomplished. This episode is light on jokes, apart from a great one where rusty tells the boys everything before mindwiping them, but good on character stuffs as we find out where Brocks been, meet some good new supporting cast and see just how far 21′s come, and close out the first half of a stellar season iwth a great scene of Brock eating cereal, finally allowed to be part of his family again.

10. Viva Los Muertos! (Season 2, Episode 11)  Season 2 was easily where the show hit it’s stride. While Season 1 is going through growing pains Season 2 has all the setup, half planned ideas and what not mostly out of the way to just focus on building up the world, and characters as well as playing around with things and having the first instance of the show’s refusal to have a set status quo by having the Monarch’s breakup iwth Shiela stick until the end of the season. More on that later. However some experimentation still happened as something that would likely NEVER happen from this point on happened.  See the Venture Bros is very much Jackson and Doc’s baby. While Jackson created it, Doc because just as important and the two share one giant geeky brain. WHile they may argue on some things, the two still agree on most stuff and thus the project has their unified vision of this weirdly specific superhero universe that’s mainly focused on what would be prehriay characters leftover from a one time genre experiment and supervillians. While the staff on the show clearly enjoyed working on it far as I can tell an dare celebrated in the making of when credit’s do, the writing and worldbuilding is on two guy’s shoulders, an absolute rarity in animation let alone of a project with this gorgeous and detailed animation. But for three episodes the two did let someone in.. it’s just someone who not only got exactly what htey were going for but was their friend and mentor who helped nurture their talents on the tick. Ben Edlund. If you haven’t heard of Ben first off shame on you and second, he’s the creator of the Tick, writing the original comics series and having a major hand in all three series, all of which are unsuprisingly stellar, and having brought jackson and doc on board for 2/3 of them, likely only not bringing them to the Amazon one because by this point they’d far outgrown being writters on someone elses show.  He also created supernatural and left long before it became a tire fire so there’s that. I need to watch that sometime. Point is he’s a big deal and helped write two episodes and wrote this one Solo. And this one is easily the best of the three and given it’s on this list one of the series best.  The episode has Doc have another great idea in the Zack Morris with mad scientest abilities veign he always have: Take the parts of one of hte monarch’s dead henchman, as brock tends to leave piles around, into a “Venturestein’ and sell it to the goverment. While the simple man bonds with the boys, he cowers in fear of brock, who is forced to grapple with his violent nature and deeds and goes to Orpheous spirtial gathering fors some perspective. It’s a nice subplot that has some character development before a spirit vision of hunter gathers convinces him he can’t get caught up in killing people when it’s hwat he goods at. Brock meets him halfway, deciding he can’t feel entirely guilty but he can help the guy and gets Venturestein some “prostitoots!” he’s been wanting since apparnelty the henchman he was made out of really liked htem.  The concept of venturestein himself is neat, from the idea of reusing old henchman to him using the boys learning beds to learn about the third world and be indocrinated for third world labor, as was Doc’s orginal plan.  The other plot which dovetalls into venture steins is another great one as The Groovy Gang, the show’s answer to mystery inc arrives. And in a great idea by Edlund.. their all based on various serial killers, with leader ted being baised on ted bundy and being unerviing as he speaks cherfully while threanting the rest of hte gang, the shaggy stand in being a stand in for the son of sam and the only one that can hear groovy talk who rather than be an adorable dog, talks like a nightmarish german man, the daphne standin is clearly kidnapped and the velma one valries acts like valrie solanis. It’s creepy stuff but it’s also funny because theys till include hannah barbara sound effects, including when Venturestein in a ptsd fueld rage kills ted, not-shaggy and groovy> It’s a horrible but great scene and a great concept that just works. They also tie in the boys being clones by having it revealed one of their deaths was caused by Sonny, finalylr emembered his name, and Ted wanting to kill them. The boys end up finding their clones too, but Doc spins them a yarn to get by and is kept from kiling them. Not much to say, outside of brocks bit this isn’t huge on character but the sheer balls of the scooby doo parody and the sheer amount of jokes and creativity here make Edlund’s sole solo outing a true highlight. 

9. The Inamorata Consequence (Season 7, Episode 5) 

The likely final compound episode and a welcome return after season 6 lacked theme entirely, and as I established earlier the compound isn’t required it’s just where most of these take place.  Season 7 was a good note to go out on. While I still want closure, after the forgetable Season 5 and the  fresh but messy Season 6, 7 was almost pure goodness, with most of the episodes being standouts and the premire trilogy wrapping up the dangling threads from season 6 being a highlight, if not enough to make this list but it was a tight list as is. It had it’s flaws: The “Serena Cheats on Hank with Dean thing” was not only horribly underdeveloped but basically wrote off one of their best new characters. Her and hank breaking up and her dating dean is fine, relationships end and stuff, it was just done poorly. Even if Hank found out because a scary man in a bear costume literally carried him to a convience store and then to Dean which was great as was the button on that plot of, after Dean and Serena naturally react to the guy “Oh good you see him too. “ The Unicorn in Captivity is also a series low point despite having mark freaking hamil guest star, for a number of reasons i’ll probably get into one of these days either on a worst of list for this show or it’s own review. But those blemishes don’t overide a great season that makes up for Oprehous and Dermott’s absensces by bringing both back for an episode, has some true classics, some great character stuff and in general is just really good and it was hard to cut a lot of it from this list, but two made it. And it was nice to see the show go out on top if nothing else. 

So onto this episode which has a brilliant complex: Every exty years the Guild and the OSI meet to hash out the details of their mututal treaty with a Venture prociding and with Jonas now well and truly dead, and missing before that, it falls on Rusty. and since it was made before the compound burned down, our heroes returned to the charred remains of their home to hash things out.  The episode then nicely settles into 3 really excellent plots. The first is the obvious, the peace treaty which has the Council of 13, who in a delebrate move by the creators went from a bunch of faceless nobodies who were killed off to characters we all knew, versus our standard stable of OSI recureerers as the two bicker over terms and we find out one of the conflict settlers is a pool fight, done without a pool since that’s gone now. It’s just pure comedy goodness, but it ends with the rare unequivoocable VICTORY for Rusty. Fed up with both sides acting like children, and even calling them such, as well as both threatning war, he gives one hell of a speech to both to shut them up and for once in his life does BETTER than his father. 

It’s easily James Urbanik’s finest hour as the character and one of the series best moments which, 17 years in, is a high achievement.  The other two plots aren’t too shabby themselves. The second is an overlap as Hank gets lured away from the confrence by an old friend: IT’S DERMOTT! The dynamic duo rides again and their old dynamic of two dumbasses, one a normal teen but entirely full of himself the other being a cloudcuckoolander with little self awarness but more empathy and sometimes sense, is one I really missed and it shines here. Dermott’s joined the OSI, with Rusty giving him a recomendation as long as he didn’t tell anyone else he was his son, or at least it’s implied as much, finally buttoning up that bit while leaving it open for hank to find out later, and a bit that also was never resolved and hopefully will be by a follow up, especially since Dean revealed in the series finale he found out from his dad a while back while rusty was hammered. They follow kimberly mcmanus and one of the strangers, the guilds soldiers who are engaging in a clandestine affair.. which also reveals that the stranger is the peril partnerships mole in the guild, a nice twist. The two have fun chemistry and it’s great ot see them again just like it’s great to see hank and dermott pal around again with the highlight being hanks utterly bizzare and utterly hank fantasy sequence.  Rounding out the three is a more emotional tale as Dean sneaks off to see an old friend, Ben the genetisct who worked with his father and grandfather at various points and revealed to dean he was a clone. Ben is gone, either due to Doc and Jackson not wanting to use him, or because JK simmons was unvaliable and unlike dr. impossible and steven colbert, they didn’t want to recast. But we do get a great substitute as we meet H.E.L.P.er 2, a household model voiced by Rhys Darby who Ben left behind on his trip.  As it turns out Jonas tried mass marketing H.E.L.P.er units (With the equally unsurprisingly sexist tag line of “Get a H.E.L.P.er to Help Her!”), but a  baby choked on a stray bolt and a the ensuing backlash lead to mass burnings and most being destroyed and the one we meat being a nervous wreck that Ben took in. Dean naturally sees himself in the scared bot and while he fails to get his new friend to be able to leave, H2 is too nervous about possibly being destroyed and given the uncaring nature of the venture world sometimes yeah probably a good point, he does bond with dean.. and reveal that Rusty himself is a clone by accident. IT’s a nice twist that makes perfect since: While we don’t know if Rusty knows the tech was used on him most of his stuff , with few exceptions is old equipment of his dad’s. It’s not a stretch that his greatest invention was actually Jonas’. It also leads to a nice moment as dean hugs his dad, understanding him a bit better. It’s a funny, well done episode that lets doc and sons really shine. Truly a great way fo ra great theme to go out.

8. The Buddy System (Season 3, Episode 5) Time for a sentimental favorite. See while I watched bits of seasons 1 and 2 when they aired, and more of 2 then I realized, I didn’t get really hooked on the show till season 3.. and this was the episode that did it. The ones before are far from bad, Shadowman 9 was a contender for this list after all, this is just the one that really got me into the show, showing off it’s varied supporting cast, bringing in one or two more, and really getting me into dean.. and Dean and Triana shipping but I can get into that, again, more on that later. Given this and Fallen Arches were early faviorites it’s no suprise compound episodes became my faviorites and this one is easily the second best of em, with one more coming up topping it handily.  But enough showing my hand, let’s talk about Season 3. Season 3 is a slight mixed bag, as some episodes don’t land, but overall is a really good season, it’s just sandwitched between the shows too best. But it did have good ideas, great world building and a hell of a cliffhanger. Some decisions, like Sgt. Hatred, weren’t the best, but overall a solid season, just like 3 it only managed to squeak out one entry, though TONS of possible cantidates.  This episode has a great premise from the get go: Rusty, for once, has a decent idea. Yes it still results in a child dying and being replaced by a clone, but this is rusty. If something didn’t go terribly wrong on some level it wouldn’t be him. But the idea is simple: Since the cartoon based on his nightmarish childhood, which made him a minor celebrity and is why billy likes Rusty so much and looks up to him despite being.. Rusty, is a hit with the kids again, Rusty launches a day camp on the grounds, using his boys as counslers and having his various friends and aquantinces set up booths. From Orpheous and the order of the triad doing an anti drug presentation to the sea captain talking about the benefits of being a scooby doo villian, to Action Johnny, the series version of Johnny Quest renamed to avoid copyrights but very obviously Johnny Quest, whose strung out on drugs and can’t go a few minutes without going into a breakdown about his father or past. All good stuff. It actuallyg oes pretty well till rusty makes the mistake of going into an old thing of his d ad’s without checking and a gorilla monster attacks and gets the one child left behind, thankfully off screen, but it leads to the darkly hilarious bit of him rushing a clone out for his parents to avoid a justified law suit. 

Meanwhile the boys and brock deal with a new figure in their lives: Dermott Fictel. As the creators put it they basically desgined him as that one kid everyone knows who talks shit, thinks he’s way more capable than he is, and way more knowledgble than he is and is kinda dopey. I had one of those, i’m sure you did too, and that’s probably part of why I really liked Dermott as I knew a guy just like him. Hank naturally, not having had any friends other than dean and H.E.L.P.er, bonds with the prick and the two become best friends right away. Dean however hates the little asshole for both constantly shit talking him and just being obnoxious. Brock soon joins the hate train as Dermott invades his karate demonstration to talk about how much of a badass he thinks he is and learned from the internet. Brock soon finds himself asking the age old question. 

But since his code avoids women and children, he tries to find ways around it but Orpheous obviously isn’t having it. His other option is to go to the Monarch’s minons the Pupa Twins, aka the Moppets, Shiela’s old minons who the monarch’s basically stuck with and no one really liked in or out of universe. Their just assholes who treat 21 and 24 and the monarch himself like crap and are thankfully downplayed in Season 4, and only appear in Season 5 to die off and close up a plot thread. But credit where it’s due they did get one good bit, creepy as it may be and it’s this. 

With the Monarch not allowed to arch venture at the time due to plot stuff, the monarch’s mostly spying and sending the pupa twins in as spies which as you can see dosen’t really go well. Everything converges on the finale, as Rusty, again being rusty even when he’s mildly ahead child aside he still screws up, brings in Johnny’s old enemy Dr. Z, who like dermott is important but it’d take till the end of Season 5 for that. Johnny breaks down, Venture’s current nemisis arrives and finds there was a scheduling error and hten we get the crowning moment of the episode that makes it all come together magically: Dean gets to sit with Triana, whose actually being receptive to his crush for once, but also has to put up with Dermott..  who being Dermott, especially early dermott is an obnoxious jackass who makes creepy coments abotu Trianna and eventually sets Dean off

Dermott doesn’t even get two seconds into telling Triana to wait naked for him, because of course he does before dean utterly destroys him. This being Dean, it’s with tears and snot running and coming off like an angry 8 year old, but he still deserves points for utterly decimating the asshole after a full day of taking his self indulgant bullcrap and having the guy be creepy to his crush. And to be fair Triana was dealing with him fine, but still Dean beat up someone twice his size and while lacking any actual fighting skill with at least enough bulk to beat him up and gave the fucker a black eye. Until season 7 with him just paying off the monarch to save his teacher from making a huge mistake, and to show how fed up he was, this was easily Dean’s best moment. Just a great capper to a great episode. Also Dermott turns out to be, possibly brocks son but.. more on that later. 

7. Mid-Life Chrysalis (Season 1, Episode 3 (8 in Airing Order)  As I said earlier Season 1 was a bit rough, though as all of you probably know most 1st seasons are, especially in animation. It takes time to iron out what really works for a show and get it going right. Bojack Horseman, while still excellent, took the first few episodes to really become what it was born to be, Steven Universe season 1a lacks the deep characterization of the main cast that and has loosey goosey animation,  Ducktales had trouble character ballancing and ballancing adventure with deconstruction of adventure.. every show has growing pains.  And while season 1 does have too much of the show basically trying to scream

Like some adult cartoons do, and not even it’s contepraries like sealab and harvey birdman did as much, both excellent excellent shows by the way. But even with my criticsims of it: Flat characters, a try hard tone, clumsy worldbulding in places.. it’s still a good show even this early and even as early as episode 3, with the first two being good.. but this one being an utter classic. It dosen’t QUITE have the emotoinal or character depth of later episodes but damn if it isn’t one of the funniest things the crew ever wrote. 

Mid-Life’s two main plots are simple and start from the cold open: The Ventures get pulled over while on the way to an adventure by the air force, and Doc and Brock both encounter problems: Rusty being Rusty, his is petty and self loathing based as he gets called old or something like that by one of the air force people. Brock’s is a bit more serious: In a funny bit Brock LITERALLY has a legal lisence to kill, but given the burarcaey of the venture world, it’s expired.  So we get our two main plots out of that: Rusty wants to prove he’s not old and still got it by dragging a sad Brock to a strip club. Brock is miserable as the owner mocks him, and he can’t kill him so there’s that and his attempt to have a quickie with a stripper fails because it’s just not the same without his murder boner apparently. Look as I said the show was a wee bit immature early on.. it never stopped being mind you it just became more goofily immature than screaming i’m an adult. Brock leaves in a huff which leaves Rusty open for the oldest trick in the book as the Monarch sends Shiela in in disguise to seduce him, go back to his place, and then stick him with a syringe full of science that turns him into a caterpillar because this is the monarch. Subtly is not even a suite of his let alone his strong suite. Though this also being the Monarch we only get a bit where he watches as the two make out, which is creepy as that sounds until a minon randomly turns out the lights and apolgoizes. He was getting juice. The episode also nicely parodies the trope of a female spy or whatever turning for the hero because of his dick as The Monarch assumes that happen when Shiela has doubts about the scheme, that he “turend her with his oily sex” which is an objectively horrible and paranoid statment but also incredibly hilarious.  Thus the plots split and we get two really hilarious one: On Brocks end he with the boys encouragment, decides to retake his secret agent exam. And both boys really come into their own with this one: Dean’s adorably nerdy and sweet sides come out as he both encourages his second dad and helps him on the written portions, while hanks gung ho hankness emerges in full as he helps train brock, having him drink eggs that he probably spat in and in one of the best bits of the episode going a bit too far with the drill sgt routine till Brock helpfully points out he’ll legally be able to kill after this. The solution is also great as Brock not only avoids using his fire arm during one of the tests, instead uttelry decismating the target cutouts with just his kinfe and whatever he can rig up, and just scribbling icarus from the led zepplin albums on his test.. only for his proctor to pass him anyway as his dad and osi boss general treister, who we meet later, described brock as a living legend, and he did not dissapoint. And we get a great closer, after the main plto finsihes, where Brock shows the strip club asshole his fresh lisence before maiming him.. though even better, he DOSEN’T kill the guy as the asshole does show up again later, just missing an eye now. 

Back on our main plot we get plenty of hilarious and messed up stuff as the boys barely react to their dad’s horrible state, their numb at this point, and doc gives out the classic line and easily the best of the episode “I pissed in god’s eye, and he blinked”. Doc tries to cure himself and fails both due to caterpillar hands and due to helper eating the chemicals, and tries to get helper to help him reinact the end of the fly. All good stuff. It’s just a good, solid comedy episode that both solidifies the character and makes you laugh near constantly. 

6. The Terminus Mandate (Season 7, Episode 8) One of the best parts of the post Garantua shakeup of the show was the new council. After years of the council of 13 just being guys behind silouttes, mantle and dragoon nonwishtanding, Jackson and Doc replaced most of them with familiar charcters and gave a ton of them chances to shine while bringing in new ones like wide whale and easily their best later creation Red Death, more on him in a minute. It gave us a nice workplace dynamic and really made the guild pop more than ever. And this episode showcases this marvelously by giving the new council the spotlight.  In this one the Council find that there’s an old mandate that means they must stop active arching in order to retain their spots, something they all agree to and thus leads to an episode of each of the council having one last ride as each are given an envelope of who their last arch is. And each is hilaroius, some even heartfelt, creative and fleshes out some of them. Going down the list, leaving out Shiela and Red death who has a more involved subplot for hers and has some other buisness entirely we’ll get to: Phantom Limb: Has, in a great gag, a literal dick measuring contest with Hunter Gathers. Just a simple effective gag.  Radical Left: Is merged with his old arch enemy Right Wing so they simply play clue.  Wide Whale: Has the least funny or enteratining but still entresting as he and his old arch are now friends and the guy even plays cards with Rocco, so rather than poision the well he just sends Rocco to rough him up a bit for old times sake, then take him to dinner.  Dr. Z: Reminces with Action Johnny, the two considering each other family at this point and the two have a really nice moment with Johnny in rehab finally getting help that’s actually really touching and really nice to see.. though we also get an utterly fantastic bit where they recreate an actual scene from Johnny Quest but with Z lampshading how stupid everyone’s being. 

And finally we get Mantle and Dragoon, who spend the night binging tv and eating a ton, my mood and general schedule, afraid to open their envelope only to celebrate when they do and find their arches are all dead.  Red Death meanwhile has buisness to take care of. Since I dind’t include Red Means stop on here I’d just like to talk about how much I love the guy. Voiced by clancy brown death is an old school legend in the guild whose great at arching, has a great gimmick.,. but can switch from horribly threatning monster to aflrable nice and loving family man, having a younger wife and a daughter whose utterly adorable and shares his face. He even wanted the guild spot simply so he could basically retire, get the nice pension plan and salary that comes with the guild without the rigors of regular arching having long settled things with his own arch by murdering him> he’s an utterly inspired edition and the crew, and fans, loved him enough he became a recurrer this season. 

And his bit is both awesome and utterly terrifying: earlier the guild tried to parlay with rivals the peril partnership in order to stop the bleeding on their end, but their represntive, Blind Rage, a hilariously broey version of Daredevil, instead mocks and direspects them and is in general a pissant. So rather than do an arch, since he’s done with that anyway, Death evens the score in one of the shows best scenes, which like the rusty one above is an acomplishment years in and is an utterly terrifying and awesome villian scene. 

Clancy Brown is a fucking master at this. and it showss.  As for Shiela her bit ends up tying into the Venture Family’s plot for the evening: Rusty courts a black widow, Teresa Diade because getting laid outweighs the possibility of death and we get a a great bit of dean pretending to be her as the family preps him. Naturally he bungles it because he takes too much anti venom, but Teresa turns out to be a former superhero, probably what actually happened to her husbands, and Shielias arch during her breif solo career. Though instead of an arching, though she try, Shiela instead breaks down over the stress of this, over possibly giving up arching with her husband for her career, and the two share a nice moment. I mean she still takes Diade’s wallet because she’s a villian after all but it’s a nice one and an emotoinal moment. She takes the job as revealed later of course, because even of this probably hurts the Monarch’s feelings a bit he wants what’s best for her. Because they have a damn good marriage again. overally a really inventive, hilarious episode and one fo the show’s finest hurrahs as it approached an untimley end.

5. Everybody Comes to Hanks (Season 4, Episode 12) 

Season 4 as I said was my faviorite and one of it’s highlights was the duo of Bright Lights Dean City, which BARELY didn’t make this list, and Everbody Comes to Hanks. The two episodes followed the same period of time from the perspectives of each brother: Dean has an internship in new york city and Rusty’s bumming along, though being a dick he wants hank to have a job by the time he gets back.  Hank, in a classic hank move, expands Hank Co from an ocasional name for his buisnesses to a full on department store with a restraunt and detective agency because of course he has those. It honestly reminds me of me: Even as a teen I was the kind of goofus who’d do this sort of elaborate stuff. But at the same time it shows hank’s best trait and the one that most people underestimate: his ingniuity and imagination. Sure the guy’s off in his own world, as am I, and it’s his charm, but when push comes to shove he can bust out a wacky scheme, save his family from danger or as seen earlier this list pull out a 3 point romantic gesture. The guy may be kinda dumb, int he best way, but he’s got the natural talent for the superhero/supervillian game and clearly wants to be his own bizzare version of batman, which I hope he gets to be and I prefer over the theroy he’ll be a villian. Sure it makes SOME sense.. but frankly hank’s good heart and love of theatrics and lack of care about the jackasses meancing his dad make him a way better superhero. 

Anyways naturally said detective agency leads to both a noir homage, complete with lack of color and a case: Dermott, who at this point’s a bit more symapthetic, wants to know if brock’s really his dad or not and hires his best bud to do it. Hank also gets a partner in one fo the show’s best recurrers, the Alchemist, ba dah!, Orpheous’ best friend, teammate, sarcasm machine and out and proud magic guy voiced perfectly by Dana Snyder. He’s a good counterpart to Orpheous, sarcastic down to earth and fun loving to the more serious and full of himself Orhpeous and since Triana moving out in our next entry, has been Orpheous’ roomate and bored since he’s now in the middle of nowhere, so he’s eager to jump into Hank’s nonsense.  What follows is a compelling detective story as Hank finds out Brock never slept with Dermott’s mom, and tries to find the real one.. and ends up stumbling upon the solution upon hooking up with Dermott’s older sister Nikki... which quickly goes sideways as he finds out not only is she twice his age, and even without that he’s still a minor and this is still creepy.. but she’s Dermott’s mom.. and RUSTY’S his father, with Dermott’s mom who raised him being his grandma. It’s a hell of a reveal that throws up the table both on Dermott’s relationship with Hank and the chraracter as a whole and has a great flashback where we find out how something this effed up happened and it’s incredibly well acted. It’s good stuff.  Hank uses SPHYNX”s mindwipe machine on himself, since getting laid or not, which being hank he dosen’t see the problems with how it happened as long as he dosen’t know, sends a total recall esque message to himself on his watch so he knwos he got laid, jut not the horirble, horrible details. And I like that , unlike say Phineas and Ferb Across the Second dimension’s bullshit reset ending, this dosen’t erase the impact of things. Not hank loosing his virgnity that’s meaningless I mean Dermott. He’s still there, it jsut left at ticking time bomb of when that reveal’s going to go off, and added an intresting new dynamic that I hope if the show continues somehow gets explored. A masterful, fun and suprisingly disturbing episode, everybody should come to hanks. Also as one last post note i’d be remiss if I forgot the great bit of Hatred saying they only serve eggs at hanks cafe. 

4. The Better Man (Season 4, Episode 7) 

Now we get to Dr. Orpheous, who unsuprisingly is a faviorite of mine. While I wasn’t a big Dr. Strange fan till reading the old lee and ditko stuff, I was always a fan of Orpheous, a hammy divorced dad who will give fighting the hordes of hell the same gravitas as getting junk mail, putting some punks souls in a homies figurine, and venture stealing his weedwacker. He’s a truly loveable character, a silver age pompus style hero in a world he dosen’t quite fit, with more power and competence than most venture bros protaganists, but still having things thta hold him back: while he’s good at his job his own drive and self importance drove away his ex wife and leaves him with not much in his life other than his daughter.  And for the first time in the series he’s forced to face his wife leaving him for another man when said man shows up : The Outrider, a seemingly cooler mystic hero whose better at both being a husband and being a sorecer and stops some creature The Order of the Triad fights after their arch torrid sumons him. Orpheous stews over this a bit and after failing to make hisown doorway to hell t  one up his non-arch nemisis, visits another classic character for the series: the Master. Voiced by Voice Acting Maestro John Benjamin, pre his biggest roles with archer and bob’s burgers but post his breakout with home movies. The Master is a no nonsense mystic entity who loves taking the piss out of orpheous and loves his student even if Orpheous agrviates him. He also has a neat visual habit of showing up in a diffrent shapeshifted form each time to teach his pupil a lesson.. and to do weird sex stuff because he can multi task and we see Trainai’s mom for the first time, though with the master just using the form to taunt Orpheous on his personal failings as usual but has a good point.  Soon however the group returns to the portal from hell and find Torrid and Outrider.. and torid explodes and sends the rider to hell, forcing Orpheous and co to rescue him, with Orpheous finding out via a clue from the master that the outrider embeded an artifact in his head to travel between worlds, the one thing orpheous could never master, as a shortcut.. and said thing gets al and orpheous stuck with the outrider. There we see the contrast: Orpheous is indeed the better sorcerer.. but the outrider’s the better husband and while if his wife cheated on him that’s fucking terrible, it’s clear he didn’t STEAL Tatiana so much as she left Orpheous for someone that geniuinely appricated her. The hatched it buried and it’s godo character work.  Speaking of which we get to Jefferson Twilight, a blade parody who hunts Blackulas (his words and leads to a great moment in his debut where a supervillian tries to find a more pc term for it but Jefferson poitns out since he primarly hutns oversea “African americian” dosen’t really work), and the guy on the team reguarly compalning about having no magic ability.. but who finds he CAN move between worlds and astral project, to his delight and Al’s annoyance. It’s an adorable and well won moment as he finaly finds SOMETHING magic he can do.  The other plot, which dovetails nicely into Orpheous concerns Dean’s longstanding crush on Triana, another pin to pull from earlier this list. I shipped them when I was younger but this episode, and one coming up on this list, pointed out how it jsut didn’t work: Dean’s naivite combined with his lack of making a move just didn’t mesh with her. IT’s something the creators agreed on realizing they just had no use for Triana, but both hating the cliche of a character just vanishing and thus giving her a proper sendoff instead.  Dean tries to move on after another unsucessful attempt to talk her up, with Hank and Dermott playing his wingmen, unsucessfully but Dean actually hits it off with a girl.. a girl we never see again but still and Dermott actually offers sound advice for once.. which given events before and after this prompts Dean to quip “better check the temprature in hell”. He just says to take things slow and just call the girl, maybe ask her out, don’t overblow it again or try too hard. It’s good stuff and like our last entry deepens the character a bit by showing that he’s not always a dumbass. Just  mostly. On Triana’s end she enters her dad’s closet, again having done so before and as shown in previous episodes Orpheous always mindwiped her, and it turns out it’s not the first time as the Master sees great talent, but sees she needs to be taught by her mother and step dad, where she can find other witches and learn at her own pace.. maybe befriend an older witch and a demon, find her own personl lesbian. We’ll see how it goes. He TRIES scaring her out fo a future with dean, but fails because.. she had no intrest in dean whatsoever and there was nothing to scare her away from. The Master is confident this will lead to nothing.. but as we see in the stinger.. this isn’t the case.  Byron for once grew, and rather than wipe his daughter’s brain to keep the last family he has outside of his buddies close, as he likely did before out of fear of loosing her... lets her go. He grows letting his daughter grow up and take the long path he did and hopefully better than either of her parents, while Dean “let’s her down gently’. Triana was a godo character, a downt o earht presence in theboys life and wiry, but it was time for her to fly and it’s a good note to send her off on and overall pure magic. 

3. All This and Gargantua 2! (Special between Seasons 5 and 6) 

ONto another charcter’s sendoff we have JJ, Doc’s brother he absorbed in the womb who came back somehow and then became way more sucessful and spent all of seasons 4 and 5 building a space Station. And this episode pays that and MANY other threads off in a giant sized epic that’s one of the series finest moments.  it’s the Gargantua 2′s grand opening, with Doc and the boys going up. Hank goes to gamble and adventure, with Hank bucks obvoiusly, while Doc and Dean are called to Visit JJ.. whose dying, his body shutting down shortly after he finalyg ot life and wanting this satilite to be his final work. but soon the three, along with col treister who we’ll get to in another entry, have ot save the world with JJ touchingly sacirficing himself just as both brothers finally reconciled and Doc finally accepted him. It’s  a powerful subplot.  Said calamity comes in the form or another loose end, the revenge socieyt, Phantom Limb’s splinter group who are attacking and are unknowing pawns in the soverign, who turns out not tbe bowie which is good becaue he dies here and that would’ve been eerie, and his mad plans to try and outwit the investors, msyterous beings. Yeah i’m going to have to try and summarize a lot here as htis is a big, continuity drive spectacle and it works well if wonkily. TO mak ea long story short our heroes fight on a satlite, and dr. henry killinger, marry poppins meets kissinger with a magical murder bag, fights his brethern and reforges the guild with the various villians tryign to stop the soverign or leftover from the society. The special is one big bit of fanserice that ties up loose ends and launches a bold new era. I don’t have as much to say as other entires but it’s this high up because few episodes match it in sheer importance, scale, humor and timing, it’s just harder to dig into because again, it’s an hour long special with lots of stuff from the series up to that point. it’s what makes it work but it’s harder to dig into in this short a space. Maybe someday soon. either way i’ts a garganguan achivment that feels like a huge pot of payoff after 5 seasons of effort and is utterly worth the ride. 

2. Showdown at Cremation Creek, Parts 1 and 2 (Season 2) Yes this is a two parter. Yes i’m giving it one spot but it’s my list and this is basically a special like the two entires it’s sandwitched between just sliced in half. So pitter patter, let’s talk about this one. 

Showdown was the finale to the stellar season 2, a step up from season 1 that refined the good raw matieral there into something truly stupdencous and it all comes to a head here in a wonderful epic in the might venture maner in that it manages to feel epic while still being hiilarious, characer driven and self parodying.  After a season apart the Monarch and Shielia have reonciled and are having an affair behind Phantom Limb’s back.. though given LImb is a sexist piece of shit who dosen’t value Shielia as a parter or part of his orignization while the Monarch has come around to doing so and did even with his crazy jealousy, it’s forgivable. Shelia wants more form him and the Monarch takes hte painful step of agreeing to stop arching venture. This dosen’t last obviously, but still. HOwever it does lead to pure hilarity when his henchman for the bachelor party, after the monarch went home, kidnapping the ventures, having gottne brock while he was drunk and distracted. Still with fatalities but still.. it’d be the best day of their lives anyo ther day. But to avoid pissing off his fiance who likely woudln’t belivie the truth, he makes up a story of inviting them to a wedding as an olive branch and does so> The whole situation also leads to my faviorite venture line: 24: Holy shit I thought we dreamnt that part! Anyways our gang are soon split up, Brock attends awkardly, Dr. Venture tries to hit on the bride over mid life chriaslys earlier, and we get the dawn of one of the show’s best buddy duos: 21 and Hank. The two being huge nerds quickly bond, and 21 helps hank sneak into the wedding as “Igor Badguyovich via an old henchman uniform, cleverly one of the ones from the pilot. Dean ends up getting stuck in the engine room and ends up spending the two parter hallucinating and going on a patichse version of never ending story while also letting loose his hatred of his boy advenutering lifestyle. It’s prue fun and good stuff.  David Bowie, or someone impersnating him, aka the soverign arrives along with Klaus Nomo and Iggy Pop for the wedding as an old frirend of shelias giving her away. But soon things go as bad as a superhero wedding does, becuase supervillians apparently aren’t immune to that as Phantom Limb attacks, deciding to throw a cou because he can’t kill the guy his ex actually likes or get promtoed and with bowie’s enorage as his moles attacks and tries to take shiela by force. The result is great as brock moblizies the minons, and unbenwonst to him, hank to fight, dean has his epic adventure and rusty and monarch try to do.. something. It’s all great stuff while Bowie fights limb in an epic battle we sadly barely see but what we do is glorious. It’s all good stuff. An donly one episode tops it in scope, humor and spectacle and in my heart. 

1. Operation P.R.O.M. (Season 4, Episode 16)  The show’s best season goes out with it’s best episode. I could close it out there but given i’ve rambled about every other episode why stop now? It’s Homeschool Prom Night! Doc’s gathered their various allies, the order of the triad, pete and billy , shoreleave and brock, along with Hatred who has replaced his hatred tats with a big v.. excpet the d over his junk which is unfortunate. 21 joins in genuinley and because he’s having a crisis while monarch and sheila crash with hatred’s ex as a baragning chip to see wha’ts up and end up joining in. 

The boys are as sucessful getting their own dates as you’d expect: no one will return Hank’s calls but since he runs into best buddy Dermott on the way brings him along as long as their band can play, which is easily the highlight of the episode as their glorious and terrible garage band Shallow Gravy makes it’s debut. Figures I can’t put video in right as the article’s almost done.. but back on point.. Dean brings Triana who has a boyfriend now who resembles Edward Cullen, because tha’ts aged really well, which bugs the crap out of him even though he moved on and casues him to act like a pissant and get a corsage thrown in his face as he should. Dean ends up following Dermott and Hank’s advice to go try and “win her back” with a big romantic gesture... which listneing to dermott on a romantic gesture should be grounds for being delcared legally braindead.. it goes terribly with the big plan instead burning a t on her lawn, and the ghost robes making Dean look like the kkk. The outrider tells him to be happy after beating him up over the mixup, a mixup that REALLLLY hasn’t aged well, and Dean tells him to fuck off. End of their time but it’s good stuff and caps a great season of hank. And while I don’t LIKE dean’s behavior here, it’s nice to see him not act like a good person for a second, and to be as human and faliable as the rest of htem, even if it means beeing deeply unlikable and his next relationship which sadly just.. never got picked up again, would go better. And the one after that.. not getting into that mess. What the hell guys. It’s really good stuff. 

Naturally given all these cast members ther’es a lot else going on: Rusty hires prostitues for the evening because of course he does and fails with his because of course he does.. and because it turns out his name is a sex act which leads toi a long and inspried bit of bleeping as everyone has their own version and we see tons of recurrers way in to Rusty’s horror. Rusty being inscensed tires using an aprohdeiasc , specially spanish fly taken from an actual fly, one of my faviorite bits mostly for this bit after billy gapes in horro at the giant monster fly.  Doc: Don’t scream you’ll just piss it off and it screams acid when it’s pissed off. And I alredy dids that when I ripped it’s wings off.  His scheme is of course utterly terrible but it’s Rusty, and i’m unsuprised and he dosen’t benifit from it as we’ll get into. Al and Shore Leave bond while 21, in a pogniant subplot, realizes he’s had enough and quits his job and through Orpheous realizes his firend isn’t a ghost, but a guilt induced hallucinaiton and lets him go, joining the team implicitly. It’s really good character stuff.  Finally we have the espionge portion. WHile Shore leave is at the party Gathers leaves Brock, once he’s finished chauffering the boys, to watch Monstroso, who they recently captured and gathers wants to use as a barganing chip. But gathers soon finds previously introduced Agents Doe and Cardholder wanting to topple agency head Hunter Gathers, one of my faviorite recurring characters mostly due to being performed by the increidble Toby Huss, a batshit general whose basically nick fury with a kentucky accent and no real filter or fucks to give and he’s utterly hilarious any time he shows up.  He’s been claming his cancer treatments have turned him into a Hulk, and why yes that is their exact terminology. Turns out agents doe and cardholder have been playing along with this seeming delusion to try and outst treister.. and take the OSI over for the guild, being the traitors Gathers suspected were there. However in a brilliant turn, this sub plots resolves as all should: on the bridge of hteir hellicarrier, with Treister draped only in the american flag with a post it note saying fix it on his chest. He reveals that while the cancer is real, the “hulkking” out was just playing them: he knew they were the double agents, and was using Gather’s to ferit them out. However that’s not the only reason: Treister knows his odds of beating cancer are slim so he’s come up with a resonable solution: Shoot himself up into space, as seen in the image for this entry, and see if aliens can cure it. They don’t but space radiation does as he returns later and not only that while he’s lost in the special, after brilliantly ACTUALLY having become a hulk, Doc and Jackson revealed in the making of book they had plans to possibly have him come back as their version of GALACTUS at one point, only holding back on it because their not sure if they want to go full cosmic or not. We’ll see if the show comes back in longform but god I hope so. If not i’m sure as hell doing it. But Treister hands the wheel over to gathers literally and metaphorically, passsing the reigns of the ship and the OSI over to him so Gathers can run it right, and then well.. shoots himself up into space, ending up as the last image of the hour long masterwork. But befroe that theres one last plot that leads into what I consider to be the show’s best scene. Brock finds out the hard way that the other Sphinx agent on duty is actually his ex molotov cocktease, who skirts monstroso away because she’s fallen for him, to brock’s rage. While Brock catches up to them, Mol reveales she has a trump card: The prostitues venture hired are actually her mercinary crew the blackhearts, and if she dosen’t give the signal everyone dies.. and being an utter dick Mol lets the car brock’s holding up off a cliff drop with her and monstroso inside.. though they come back eventually because universe that’s basically a comic book. So we get THIS SEQUENCE THAT’S IN CAPS BECAUSE THEY STOPPED LETTING ME PUT VIDEOS IN THIS ONE FOR SOME REASON AND IT’S ALMOST DONE. It’s easily the show’s best as Pulp’s amazing “Like a Friend” plays as brock rushes to save everyone, finds everyone having a good time thanks to rusty’s spanish fly, and Shore Leave and Al doing the v-day sailor kiss which is amazing, and then all the blackhearts turn into fly monsters because Rusty. It’s a great, tense gorgeously animated sequence that ends showing just how far brock’s come: From an angry asshole who hates everyone to these guys genuine friend.. and still a badass. overall just a great, spectacular finale and the best of one fo the best animated shows period. And with that the list concludes. This took me 2 days worth of adruous work so I hope you enjoyed it. Follow me for more including regular coverage of Amphibia, Ducktales starting back up later this month.. and as of tommorow possibly the loud house! Expect more venture bros including reviewcaps coming soon and if you want to comission your own reviewcap for 5 bucks, just hit up my personal messages or ask box, or just hit it up iwth a casual suggestion i’m bound to listen. Either way until next time, Go Team Venture. And I can think of only one way to properly close this. Play us off sea captain.

[tarithenurse]

Nightingale - 14

Pairing: Hatake Kakashi &/x Fem!OC Contents: References to fighting, killing, non-con, and general trauma. Nothing graphic. A/N: Well...it’s gonna get dark for a while but at least it’s a longer than usual chapter. As usual, ASK or REBLOG for tag!

Ch. 14

For once, Kakashi is at a loss on how to explain all of this to the Hokage but for the moment, the elderly man merely nods to Anko who leaves again and then he goes to sit down, facing the bound woman. He may look old with wrinkled skin and liver spots, white hair, and a gait that only hints as the strength he still possesses...but the eyes are clear and observant as they study Mei.

"You must truly be dangerous, miss," he concludes, "if Kakashi has decided to incapacitate you like this."

There's a question hidden in there, Kakashi knows, and he recognizes the slight tug of a smile on the girl's lips that proves she hears it too. "It was not my idea, to be honest." Now the questions aren't even given sound. "This is -... Certain -..." pausing again, he feels the pressure to formulate a coherent sentence. "The proper explanation is a bit convoluted but the gist of it is that M-this woman only is willing to reveal her identity under these conditions. I do not, at the present, have any reasons to suspect that she is or has been intending any harm."

Somewhere under the wide rim of the hat, the Hokage lifts an eyebrow in surprise. "You know each other?"

"...partially..."

More brows arch at the unsatisfying answer, forcing Kakashi to begin his version of the events preceding this odd presentation. He has to start over early on to accommodate the arrival of the two elders, Anko, and a few other jōnins (including some of his former ANBU colleagues) but at least no one interrupts or asks questions until he has finished and even then it's clear they are deferring to the Hokage to take the lead.

"Your name is Mei?"

"No, Hokage-sama." Knew it. "My name's Minami Uguisu...although, I've not been allowed to use my family's name for many years."

The sadness the white-haired jōnin has noticed before is present again even if she bows her head to hide most behind a waterfall of blue hair. He hates it. Hates that he's standing with a rope tied around her neck while she's passively kneeling. He has to suppress the urge to crouch next to the mysterious woman and protect her from whatever is haunting her...but he has already broken protocol by refraining from reporting it the moment he first realized something was going on.

"Not permitted...by whom?"

There's a breathless moment of anticipation in the room before she returns the Hokage's gaze calmly. "Orochimaru."

Yeah, I'm in trouble. Around them, people have drawn weapons and switched into battle stances as if the bound woman suddenly could break free of the bonds – the way she’s tied, she can’t use her hands to sign nor does she have wriggle room to get to her feet – but every ninja await the orders of the Hokage who hasn’t moved at all.

“You haven’t come here on his orders...?” the old man wonders rhetorically. “Perhaps this will all make more sense if you start at the beginning, Minami Uguisu.”

Any shinobi in the village is willing to lay down their lives if the Hokage sees it necessary to protect their home and the civilian citizens. This time, they only slowly disarm and sit in a circle around the stranger, and Kakashi who still is holding on to the noose.

“Mei...Uguisu...?” He knew she was hiding something but nothing has prepared him for this.

She doesn’t turn her face to look at him. “I grew up in a tiny village...a cluster of homes, really, at the end of a valley to the north somewhere. A handful or two of smaller families who would help each other out to the point where we were more or less self-providing. Some of the men worked further up the valley at the quarry, but in our end...it was quiet. I knew nothing but peace until I was...12...I think.” Uguisu’s voice is steady, void of intonations just like her body is unnaturally still. “I remember waking up in the night and the light coming from outside was red from fire -” she swallows -“the smoke itched my nose. The screams...the screams cutting off quicker than they were supposed to, and I rushed to find my parents and my mother...she grabbed me, dragged me to the kitchen where she shoved me into a cabinet and told me to stay hidden no matter what.”

Kakashi can feel his breath shortening at the anticipation of the horrors to come because what else could possibly await? He hates himself for holding the rope tied around this blue-haired girl’s throat even if he now understands why she had insisted he would find them necessary once she explained. Orochimaru...she joined him?

“I tried to block out the sound of my father yelling and my mother’s cry. Hands covering my ears, head between my knees. I had just started over again, whispering the lullaby my mother always sang, when I was found.” A shudder ripples through ex-Mei. “He was...kind. Caring. The man with the pale face explained...he and his people had chased away the bad guys and I was safe again. He’d take care of me.” Bitterness laces each word, encouraging Kakashi to cling to the hope that maybe his gut feeling hasn’t failed him. “Orochimaru. He took me away, promising that someone stayed behind to tend to the injured and bury the dead...and I believed him. All he wanted at first was for me to sing sometimes. We rarely stayed at the same place to begin with,” a dry laugh escapes her, “well, he would often not even be there at all...however when he was, he would spend time training me. Orochimaru Sensei...he even helped me develop my jutsu – a task that grew easier when we eventually settled down and the ranks of followers started to grow.”

Looking to the Hokage, there’s nothing Kakashi can see that betrays the leader’s thoughts. Does he already know? For his own sake, though, the jōnin needs a bit more information that just that.

“How old were you then?” he demands.

“I’m not certain but around 16.”

Maybe ten years ago. Relapsing into silence, the room awaits the continuation of the story.

“Eventually, my protector and teacher didn’t leave the new home as often. He would spar with me or have me train with other talented ninjas. Mostly, though...he kept me somewhat isolated. Not as if I was a prisoner, but rather...a prized possession. Someone or something important. Orochimaru had explained long ago that there was a hidden war brewing – one of the pieces of evidence was the attack on my childhood home – and so I was not surprised that he wanted to keep me safe from both physical danger as well as the tactical meetings. Still...sometimes he needed my kekkei genkai to get the truth from prisoners of war or to ensure the full co-operation of someone.”

“He was not capable of that himself?” the Hokage interrupts for the first time.

The slightest of shrugs unsettles the waterfall of hair. “Not the way I could. Any prisoner would wish to obey my demands as soon as I spoke to them.”

The noose! The rope prickles under Kakashi’s fingertips. If at any point she tries to do that... All it would take would be a sharp tug and no air would escape her lungs. Uguisu has, the jōnin realizes, truly given herself over to the mercy of Konohagakure by preparing the exploitation of her weaknesses. Glancing to his friends, he can see they have reached the same conclusion although he has no doubt they are considering it a bluff meant to lower their guards. This kekkei...is she using it? Unsure how it would work, Kakashi considers repelling it but sees others are already trying with no other result than confused glances towards the bound woman.

“One day, I overheard a conversation not meant for my ears...” Uguisu pauses to release the clench of her jaw. “Some of the men who had been with Orochi’ since before he found me were drinking and talking, boasting of past victories, bragging about people they had killed. In summary...that included the people in my home village. All of them.” This time, the careful inhalations and exhalations aren’t enough to stop the bound woman from clenching every muscle. “There had only been one force...Orochimaru had come, ordered the slaughter, and only demanded for me to survive. I didn’t want to believe what I heard...I tried to push it away even if later events suddenly made sense and that evening, at dinner, he must have sensed I was upset so he asked what bothered me...”

“You told him,” Anko guesses. Her eyes are big, betraying the ghosts haunting her own past.

“Yes. And he didn’t deny it.” For a moment, the girl leans her head back as if a weight has fallen from her and she finally can stretch. “Even told me it was because he’d heard of me and my skill...you don’t get to be the one negotiating at the bigger town’s market at a young age without rumours spreading.” Uguisu laughs dryly at the memory.

Sighing deeply, the Hokage asks that water is brought to the prisoner before returning his attention to her. “Intending to use you jutsu to establish his power and force his will upon anyone refusing to accept him as their leader.” He receives a nod. “If he had treated you as the prisoner you were, then he might not have ensured your co-operation...however, if he could form a bond with you, you would feel indebted to help him...and maybe even be his most devoted follower.”

“It might have worked if he had gotten to me at a younger age,” she agrees, “if I couldn’t remember much of my past. Instead, everything he had build crumbled at the revelation and I tried to leave.”

Anko growls. “You can’t make me believe he let you.”

“Of course not. I tried to fight my way out, unsuccessfully, while he idly toyed with me. Amused by my tries because I still had much to learn. He stopped playing when I tried to use my kekkei genkai...”

Years have passed since, but Kakashi can see the effect it has on Uguisu still: head low, body tensed in a futile attempt to become smaller than she is. The ropes strain around her limbs and prevent her from curling up with the knees to the chest, and he knows it must be painful but releasing her at this point in time is not an option. Instead, he has to watch in silence while she regains control of her breathing.

“He...he always experimented,” she resumes, “he had found a way to resist my voice so I couldn’t stop him when rage overtook him and he attacked. He...” her voice croaks, but she pushes on, “he sou-ought to break me. To -...he was vicious! Wanted -... Relentless, try-trying to destroy my...my...everything. Soul. M-mind. Body. And he bit me...”

The chill rolling down Kakashi’s spine settles in his guts as a roiling urge to vomit. A flashing memory of this girl sitting on his bed, hugging his pillow, smiling...until he joked that he wouldn’t bite. That’s why you ran. Glancing at Anko, he sees a similar, pained realization: Orochimaru’s bite leaves a Curse Mark.

“His...taint...” Uguisu’s voice is a broken whisper, “everywhere. He -...it -...what he did...” she has to pause to let out a quaking whimper, “the pain was o-one thing but he...” Everyone can hear the gulp of the dry swallow. “It took weeks to recover. Often he’d...refresh the wounds. But he was pleased because I did not fight anymore. He’d make me use my skill on larger groups of people and it would trigger...it’s like he’d be in my mind and body all over and it would burn.”

The silence is deafening. Listening to the foreigner’s tale, no one doubts a word she’s saying and many have lost the stoic faces of elite ninjas. Even the Hokage is averting his gaze, face hidden in the shadow of the hat.

“Hrm...” the old man clears his throat. “Perhaps we should continue this at a la-”

“No.” Finally lifting her face, Uguisu stares at him. “There’s not much left, Hokage-sama, allow me to finish.”

He nods slowly. However, as he returns to the passive position of someone who listens, he catches Kakashi’s eyes and within the gaze lies an unspoken message for the jōnin to decipher. One of pity for the girl, of a demand matching the instinctive urge the man who brought the stranger to this room already feels. I understand, the answering nod promises, her scars are deeper than even the Mark. Bile threatens to rise in his throat. Before him, kneeling on the floor, is a woman who has decided to trust in him and Konohagakure despite betrayal, violence, mind games, and rape.

“I began to test my limits despite the circumstances. I waited...played the role of the defeated.” The smile on Uguisu’s lips doesn’t reach her eyes. “Then finally he left on some mission and I grabbed my chance. I managed to get away and although I ran blindly at first, something eventually carried me to a valley I recognized and the ruins of my old home. No one had been buried...l-later, as I knelt by their graves, I swore an oath to oppose Orochimaru with all that I am. I remembered hearing the name of this place as the subject of his hate and my goal became clear.”

The white-haired jōnin is impressed by the woman’s tenacity to reach the end of the tale in her current condition: shaking, ropes digging into her flesh, tears dripping onto the floor and her lap. Somehow, though, she still manages to make her raw voice heard in the entire room.

[pottershq]

i thought i just saw HARRY POTTER leaving the leaky cauldron there, i swear they look more like AVAN JOGIA every day. i heard they’re still pretty CLEVER, RESOURCEFUL and CUNNING; yeah… and they still regret being haunted by all the deaths of his loved ones and all the people who fought against him in the war. anyway, they still remind me of a recklessly wild youth, messy tussled hair, and a brave soul shattered way too young. i hope they’re keeping well…

+ hello friends ! i’m r, 24, & in the est tmz. i’ll be playing harry and i hope we can plot out some great thing together. just as a disclaimer mentions of child abuse and neglect are below, please read at your own discretion. if you wish to plot, hmu on discord or ims !

headcanons 

long before he is brave and he is broken, harry had once been a boy. locked in a cupboard, he spent his days sailing across waves of dreams and losing himself in tides of what-ifs. his dreams had always been so bright and blazing, painting his mundane world with a thousand colors; a world where magic was more than an illusion and a card trick, where he was loved and he was missed and he meant something more. but that was not the world that harry grew up in – in this one, instead of something more, he was something less, half-child, half- ghost: not quite here, not quite there, not quite wanted, not quite forgotten. he was the boy picked last for teams, the boy whose birthday invitations never came, the boy who faded into the wallpaper. no one looked at harry and thought of anything more than a nuisance, an orphan, unnatural and unfamiliar. people fear what they do not understand so they feared harry and masked it in hate because hate is so very easy and compassion is so very hard and no one had wanted to work so hard for harry. so he drifted through the years in a haze, searching, yearning, watching time slip through his fingers in slow death and dreaming: there must be more than this. 

long before he is a hero and he is a legend, harry had been another student at hogwarts, like thousands before him. on the cusp of manhood, filled with promise and burgeoned with the follies of youth, he had finally felt alive. the ghost in the cupboard had given way to a fearless child, standing at the brink of glory. he was no longer alone – he will never be alone again – for he had swapped spiders and darkness for red hair and freckles and laughter. in ron, in ginny, in fred and george, he found a home and a family and yes, belonging. he was no longer just a boy but the boy who lived, not just harry but the harry potter, chosen one. it was almost frightening to swing from being lost in some forgotten corner to becoming the face of victory: to step away from the wings he had dwelled in for so long to center-stage, blinking blearily into the spotlight. but the light was unforgiving – every flaw, every failure, every vulnerable moment was exposed, unraveled, dissected like a frog in a lab. some things never change, it seemed, for even in fame, harry was still not allowed to be himself, not truly. he had to be someone’s hero, someone’s villain, someone, something, but never just harry. shadows followed his waking steps, whispers clung to his skin: the past was magnified, intensified and a war was brewing. and never just harry, just a boy, really, had to be brave and fierce and fight in battles not made for children (and he was still a child, mind you, let us not forget). 

harry is now 19, and brave and broken and yes, a hero. for the first time in what feels like centuries, he thinks he can finally breathe. his world is smaller now, filled not with dragons and green flashes and snake-eyes, but with dinner dates and household chores and getting to work on time. as a boy, harry had hated the mundane and dreamed of soaring through the clouds, but this harry is weary, and mundanity is all he can bear. his dreams are slower now, softer, of cosy moments by the fire, of red hair and warm lips, of laughter and family. but dreams they yet remain: he has a home, grimmauld place is the home he never expected, but it sits empty. the girl he had hoped to grow old with cannot meet his eyes, the best friend he calls a brother is stretched too thin, too busy to be everyone’s crutch to only be harry’s. fred and george, the twin flames that brightened his school years had dwindled to a single, faded spark that blamed harry for dousing it in the first place. he finds brief solace in the humility of his once-pronounced enemies, but even pansy parkinson and her apologies can no longer soothe what threatens to unravel. harry feels fragmented, his reality held together by a too-fragile thread and his nightmares lurk in his wake – but he is harry potter, the boy who lived, the chosen one, savior of the wizarding world. he swallows his fears, hides his scars and smiles for the world because he is brave and he is a legend (and heroes are not meant to be broken.) 

future plans 

harry lives in the spotlight now but he has never truly left the shadows of his childhood. as a boy, he was a burden to the dursleys and as a man, he is the hero of the wizarding world. it is always one role after the other, and he does not know who he is without it. who is just harry? what would his dreams have been? what would he have loved, feared, desired? he has always disappeared into whatever it is that others had expected of him, but now, there are no expectations. the world is saved, the dark lord is defeated – who is he to the one who should have mattered the most: himself? the future is a blank canvas and in his hand is a brush. he has always put others before him, so it is time harry puts himself first and paints the masterpiece waiting beneath the surface.

the bonds he had forged with the weasleys have been tried and tested and frayed at the edges. they are his family, but a chasm grows between them where once there had been only loyalty and love. their blood has been spilt in his war and they try to forgive, try to forget but it is so much more painless to drift away. but harry is persistent, and he has lost so much, too much, and he refuses to lose much more (what else does he have left?). he will wait and give them the space they deserve and one day, some day soon, there will be a knock on the door at 12 grimmauld place. the weasleys are his family, and bonds forged in fire are much harder to break – aren’t they?

[goldleafacrossyourlips]

Uneasy Lies the Head - Dark Lord/OC - CAOS - Chapter 2

Chapters - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13

Chapter 2 - A Spoonful of Cyanide Helps the Medicine go Down

Nothing helped strengthen family bonds like good ol fashioned murder. So when her Auntie Hilda asked for help lacing her almond cookies with cyanide, Samara hopped to it. Most people would expect Zelda of being the family member to lean towards murder, and they weren’t wrong. Many people overlooked cheery Hilda, expecting her to sooner burst into tears rather than take a violent course of action. How wrong those poor souls were. Aunt Hilda’s advantage was that people underestimated her and didn’t expect much from her. 

So when Aunt Hilda brought her guest into the parlour, Samara made sure to stick to the shadows that always welcomed her, to watch. 

Will you walk into my parlour said the spider to the fly. The poem passed quickly through Samara’s thoughts and she held back a snicker. It felt like watching the poem come to life as she watched their guest and Hilda sit. The plate of cookies sat so unassumingly between the two and Samara was practically vibrating in anticipation. Hearing about how this jealous woman had tried to bully her Aunt Zelda made the oncoming revenge that much sweeter. Watching Sister Jackson bring the innocent looking cookie to her lips, Samara felt unholy glee mounting within her and then a royal sense of satisfaction as the cookie crumbled into her mouth.

She could sense the shadows around her becoming affected by her mood. They twisted and twirled around her, wishing to partake in what she was. Samara gathered power to calm the shadows and bring them back to peace. She used them to slip into the kitchen and whispered to them as she always did.

Ever since she could remember the shadows had always been an entity to her. Yes, as witches they often used shadows to do their bidding; however with Samara it was like the shadows were a creature all of their own. When she had still lived with her mother Samara had often used the shadows as a way of hiding from the quick-to-anger woman. They were actually the reason she had ended up with the Spellman’s. 

She remembered how the shadows had been quick to wrap her up when her mother had struck her one time too many. They’d made everything dark and quiet, but she could still sense the penny copper and the slick warmth of blood as they did what they wanted to the evil woman. She remembered the way they teleported her through themselves, it was like sliding through clouds with ice nipping her toes and sun warming her cheeks. When she’d been able to blink her eyes and see, she’d been in a cozy parlour with two women staring at her open-mouthed. 

From then on she’d been Samara Spellman. Zelda and Hilda took a child materializing in a cloud of shadows quite well. Once the little girl had given information on who her mother was and they’d found the woman dead, Zelda, Hilda and Edward had easily taken her into their fold. So at the tender age of 4, she’d become a Spellman and the family had accepted all of her little quirks.

Edward out of the 3 siblings, had been a bit more cautious with or of her than the others. Internally he was bothered that he found a mere 4 year old to be cautious of. But, he could sense something strange about her. Setting aside the fact that oftentimes the girls visage would seem smothered by shadows; which he and his sisters learned were not just effects of the light, but seemed to react to the toddler like a creature all of their own. Not only did the shadows seem to warp her with physical darkness, there seemed to be some type of darkness that clung to and surrounded her aura. The reason Edward Spellman had accepted the estranged toddler in so easily, was contributed to when her quicksilver eyes had met his. In that moment, he felt like he could see all. He could see the darkness that lingered in her soul, the pain she had endured, the hope of her future with them, the loneliness, the gentleness and the sheer intelligence she’d stand to gain. What little he could sense of her aura and power, Edward knew that Samara would grow into a fearsome Witch that would one day do great things with the darkness that clung to her. So she became a part of the Spellman family and the rest was history.

“Sweetheart? Help me take out the trash please!” Aunt Hilda’s voice broke her from her reminiscing. Samara laughed to herself at her Auntie’s choice of words.

Samara took herself into the parlour where their undearly departed guest wait. She looked at the woman dispassionately and praised her Aunt for a job well done.

“Did she have a hint of what was happening?” Samara’s voice still held some of the unholy glee that filled her before Sister Jackson ate the cookie. Hilda looked up in slight confusion from where she was beginning to dispose of the rest of the sweets.

“Weren’t you in the corner the whole time, darling? I could’ve sworn that’s where you were when I brought her in.” Hilda mumbled the end to herself. Samara felt herself tense slightly as she normally did whenever she had to explain something about her Shadows.

“I was in the beginning. But They started to get unsettled so We went into the kitchen so I could calm them down. I didn’t want Them ruining the fun.” Samara’s voice was soft as she busied herself with getting ready to grab the dead woman to drag her to the cemetery. 

“Ahh, I see. Well, I’m sorry you had to miss the fun. Now, let me get these in the bin and we’ll start digging, yes?” Aunt Hilda had always accepted any of Samara’s quirks in stride and Samara was always grateful for it. Sabrina was always uncomfortable when Samara mentioned her Shadows. Ambrose and Aunt Zelda were on the accepting but cautious side. They understood that the Shadows were a part of Samara but they’d rather not hear any tales of what they’d done or could do. Samara was easy to oblige.

She didn’t wait for her Aunt to return from cleaning up their afternoon activity. Samara grabbed the dead body by the arms and with gentle coaxing to her Shadows, they helped her lug the woman outside. She had just settled the woman next to where her resting spot would be when Aunt Hilda joined her outside. Her Aunt brought with her two shovels. With a quick smile towards one another, they began to dig. Samara felt irritation rise as her black hair kept falling over her shoulder and getting in her face. By the time she’d made the decision to pull it up, 6 feet of dirt had already been moved and they were rolling the body into the emptiness. 

Samara and her Aunt chatted idly while they replaced the removed dirt. Zelda’s wedding the next day was a frequent topic. They spoke of how Hilda was going to help her prepare tonight and what to expect of the next day. By the time they finished replacing the soil, they were both covered in smears of dirt and grim. They parted to their separate rooms to freshen up, or in Aunt Hilda’s case, to get ready to leave.

“Alright, there’s some pasta in the pantry and juice in the fridge, and sweets on the counter. Non-poisoned sweets I mean. And I’ll just be at the Academy if you need anything. Oh, I feel awful leaving, my love. You just got here and here I am, leaving you all on your own.” Aunt Hilda was fretting. Samara giggled at her Aunt’s antics.

“I’m not a child Auntie. I’m sure I’ll be able to manage. Besides, Sabrina will be here with me tonight. And I’ll see you first thing tomorrow. I want to see Auntie Z before she walks down the aisle.” Samara wrapped her Aunt Hilda up in a tight hug and wished her luck on helping Aunt Zelda prepare. Aunt Hilda departed with a kiss to the forehead. Silence descended the house. Samara sighed heavily and leaned against the kitchen counter. She gazed out the window as the sun began to set. Phlox sat at her side and took in his surroundings. Samara perked up as an idea crossed her mind.

“Let’s go look and see what Aunt Hilda has in her garden before it gets too dark, Phlox.” Samara leaned down to pat her familiar on his head before walking outside. The air was cool but she didn’t plan on staying out too long to need her coat. Phlox bounded ahead of her and disappeared into the foliage. Samara shook her head with a laugh and strided over to the garden. She felt her Shadows brush her legs as they darted from under the flower bushes in the dying light. Amusement tingled her as she pursued the lovely collection of flowers, herbs and nature her Aunt tended to. 

A beautiful purple Crocus caught her eye as she’d been fawning over the Belladonna. She was leaning down to inhale it’s delicate scent when some Edelweiss floated before her. Samara caught them and looked at the flock of them to her right. She was curious as to how they’d managed to float towards her but chucked it up to her Shadows being mischievous. She gathered the loose ones into her hand and headed back inside. She called to Phlox to let him know where she’d gone but the fox familiar remained outside, probably chasing some poor rodent or another. 

Samara decided to spend her time waiting for her cousin to come home, by using her newfound Edelweiss and brewing some anti-nausea potions. She gathered all her supplies and set to work. As she quickly got lost in the flow of her favourite pastime, time flew by. Before she knew it, just as she was bottling up her brew, Sabrina was gliding through the door. Samara smiled at her white-haird cousin. And wasn’t that something to get used to. 16 years of her cousin being blonde and all of a sudden over one evening, her hair is white as bone. Samara quite liked the new look. As well as the bold red lipstick she religiously applied now too. Samara liked to contribute the red lipstick to being something she wore off onto her cousin, seeing as she had been wearing dark red lipstick for as long as she’d started wearing makeup.

“‘Mara! I forgot you were coming in today! I’m so glad you’re home.” Sabrina rounded the counter to embrace Samara. With a ladle in one hand and a sealed bottle in the other, Samara wrapped her arms around her cousin and squeezed. Samara had been close to her little cousin as they grew up, no matter the 5 year age gap. They’d formed a friendship outside of the familial one they shared as cousins. They’d been thick as thieves growing up and had given their family plenty of headaches. They’d become less in tune with one another since Samara had left Greendale, but the love and safety they’d shared with one another still remained. 

“I’m glad to be here too ‘Brina. How’ve you been?” Samara pulled away from Sabrina and set her instruments down and began to clean up her mess. Sabrina sat down across the counter and filled her in on what had been happening.

“So I found out that my dad created a manifesto. He was trying to modernize the Church and have the Coven become more progessive! He went on about how it’s not only okay for Witches to be with Mortals, but it’s encouraged! How Mortals and Witches share a home and destiny. How women should be revered as matriarchs. And so much more! I presented it to the Anti-Pope before Father Blackwood could present his manifesto.” Sabrina’s eyes lit up as she talked about her father’s ideals. Samara felt herself warm as she learned of her uncle’s thoughts. However, any warm feelings she might have felt were purged as Sabrina spoke of Blackwood.

“Blackwood’s manifesto. What manifesto? What did it contain?” Samara’s voice could not conceal her loathing towards the man. Sabrina’s face fell into a frustrated frown.

“He’s created a society, called the Judas Society. It’s named after his son and made up of only Warlocks. He wants to throw the Coven into the Old Ages and traditionalize it. His manifesto is full of Witches subjugating themselves to the Warlocks. How Mortals are disgusting and we shouldn’t interact with them. How Warlocks should rule over the Mortals. Ridiculous, vile thoughts.” Sabrina spat out Blackwood’s terms. Samara’s face held disgust as she heard her cousin’s words. Satan help her before she ever bowed before a man like Faustus Blackwood. Samara could see her Shadows swirl on the walls around them as they reacted to her mood. She was quick to calm herself so they wouldn’t off put Sabrina. 

“Well, if the Anti-Pope has a lick of sense, he’ll pick your father’s manifesto. Heaven, he might even get rid of Blackwood.” Samara grinned at her last statement. Both girls knew it wouldn’t happen but who could blame them for hoping.

The two young women began catching up on what they’d missed in the other's life. Sabrina had had many life changing experiences within the time they’d last mirror-scryed. Samara was content to hear all the changes. Her cousin told her about her Mortal and Witch friends. Samara was happy that she had both and to hear that Sabrina had a new crush. Nicholas Scratch sounded like a good Warlock for Sabrina.

“What about you Samara? Anything interesting happen in your life lately?” Sabrina prodded at her cousin. Samara had a smile gracing her lips.

“Nothing interesting really happens in Vain, Sabrina. It’s pretty much the same day in and day out. I go out and collect ingredients for my brews and craft. I make my potions and such. Sell them to who needs it. And that’s it. I might get the occasional curious mortal trying to snoop about but Phlox takes care of them.” Samara kept her boring proceedings short and to the point. There really was nothing extraordinary that happened in her life since she’d moved to Vain. She was sure that there was enough extraordinary things were happening in the Spellman household and hoped it’d stick to the rest of them and spare her.

“Seriously? That sounds pretty boring ‘Mara. You don’t have anything else to pass the time? Nothing even like a guy to occupy your time?” Sabrina tried to sound sly with her questioning of Samara’s lovelife; or rather non existent one. Samara hadn’t dated while she’d lived with the Spellmans. And that hadn’t changed once she’d moved either. She’d tried, don’t get her wrong. She’d met plenty of handsome Warlocks, especially during her time at the Academy. But anytime she’d been approached she’d been overwhelmed at her brain screaming at her wrong, don’t touch, run away, not safe. The red alert sirens and lights going off in her head had been more than enough to deter her from interacting intimately with any potential lovers. While she did occasionally get struck with envy when seeing couples act so lovingly towards one another, Samara believed that when the time was right, she’d find her partner. 

“You know as well as I do Sabrina that there hasn’t been and isn’t anyone. Enough about me, tell me about your Nicholas Scratch!” Samara commandeered the conversation onto a topic she was more comfortable about; which was anything other than her lovelife. Sabrina happily ran along with this topic and hearts filled her eyes as she began telling Samara about Nick. As Samara listened to her cousin ramble on about her Warlock, her mind began to wander. She felt angry that she wasn’t here to constantly support her cousin through the many changes that had happened over the past months. She wanted to be here with her family more than anything, but her fear and hatred of what caused her to leave Greendale prevailed.

Samara remembered what it was like before she left. How happy and content the family was to all be together under one roof. While Ambrose might have been in exile and under house-arrest, he still treated his family like gold. Samara had been young and excited about the rest of her life; all the untapped possibilities. She’d been overjoyed to start her studies at the Academy of Unseen Arts. She’d already shown an affinity to brewing and herbology under her Aunt Hilda. 

Her first few months there had been a whirlwind. Meeting new Witches and Warlocks had been exciting. While Samara had excelled in herbalism and ritual magic, she had struggled in sacred geometry. Lucky for her the High Priest Father Blackwood, Dean of the school, had offered his own help to her studies and what she struggled in. Her Aunt Zelda had been ecstatic for Samara and considered what fortune it’d bring to the family that the High Priest was helping a member of the Spellmans. Samara had thought nothing of it and continued on with her studies and private tutoring with the High Priest. 

It was during her second year that her world tilted on its axis. Samara had continued to go to Father Blackwood’s office to study. It had simply become routine for her to. While she no longer required help with her sacred geometry, she’d often prod the High Priest for his thoughts on topics she was studying. She’d never thought it odd that out of every student in the school, she was the only one he’d offered tutoring to or let lounge in his office. She thought nothing of it until the night after her 17th birthday. 

She’d had her journals for herbalism laid on the table before her; her mind racing a mile a minute as she crafted ideas and theories for her next lecture. She didn’t take notice of the way the High Priest had sat in the chair at her side. She listened with half an ear as he praised her for her thought and dedication to her studies and Church. She hummed her answers as she continued with her work. He went on about how she’d become one of the strongest Witches the Academy had ever seen; he could sense it in the darkness and power that surrounded her he’d said. She half ignored his ramblings, that is until he’d placed his hand atop her thigh. She’d frozen and pinched the quill in her fingers.

He’d gone on about how wrong it was for a Witch her age and beauty to be without companionship. How he’d be more than willing to oblige her. As he said this his hand had started to creep higher. If Samara had thought the feelings of wrong, run away were strong before when she was merely approached by an interested party; they were nothing compared to what was flooded with at that moment. Fear and betrayal had solidified her spine, her stomach and heart had dropped through her shoes. It felt like she was starting to float outside of her body, like she was watching a movie of this happen to her. She started to fear for the worst. Just when she thought everything was going to escalate, her body’s emotions were choked out by a hellfire rage. She felt this all-encompassing fury snuff out her other feelings, like an entity of itself. She could see her Shadows write along every surface they could, ready to act. Then nothing. 

She couldn’t remember anything past that. The next thing she remembers is being at home, explaining to her Aunties that she was no longer physically attending the Academy. That had been the one and only blow out her and her Aunties had ever had. They’d been ready to force her to go back before she’d collapsed on the ground in hysterics. To the present neither woman knew what caused her to leave the Academy. They figured it had something to do with the High Priest, but any questions they asked were either brushed off or blatantly ignored. 

Samara had excelled in her studies at home and finished them much earlier than had been planned. She had hoped that leaving the Academy would be enough for her to heal and avoid the High Priest. But she didn’t take into account the many gatherings they’d have at the Desiccated Church and his need to be there. It was soon after she’d finished her studies that she’d announced to her family that she’d be completing an apprenticeship with a Potion Master towards the South. They’d been devastated to see her go, but were content in the knowledge that she’d be following something she’d love. Her family expected her to return to Greendale once her apprenticeship was complete, but were saddened at her decision to completely leave Greendale and it’s Witch Community and to move to Vain, Colorado. Luckily for them, magic had made the separation much easier, scrying, astral projection and much more helped with the distance. 

“‘Mara. ‘Mara. Samara!” Sabrina’s voice ripped Samara from her dark memories. Samara felt her Shadows gathering around her as she forcefully reminded herself to release her white-knuckled grip from the arms of her chair. Sabrina was leaned forward, concerned and wary glances being cast towards her and her Shadows. 

“I’m fine. Sorry! Got lost in my head. It seems to be a common thing since I’ve arrived.” Samara grumped, taking a deep breath and relaxing back into her seat. She noticed that Phlox had settled himself on her lap and was chittering softly. She smiled softly and stroked his head. She sent out pulses of calm to her Shadows and watched as they receded and stilled.

“It’s been a long day, especially since you’ve travelled so far. Why do we head up to bed?” Sabrina soothed, standing and extending her hand towards Samara. Samara blinked at the limb for a moment before grasping it. She gathered Phlox up with her other arm and allowed herself to be corralled towards her room. 

“Sorry we couldn’t talk longer. Hopefully we can more tomorrow. It really has been a long day.” Samara’s voice was a mixture of sorrow and hope. She grinned as Sabrina gave a squeeze to her hand as they reached her room.

“It’s okay ‘Mara. It’s good to have you home. Goodnight”

“Night, ‘Brina.” She gave her cousin a parting smile and hand squeeze before disappearing behind her bedroom door. Samara set Phlox down, who quickly scurried to the bed and began to nest. She sat on the edge of the bed, rubbed her temples and blew out a deep sigh. She was just starting to contemplate if it was worth the effort to rummage around in her bag to find a headache relief potion or not when she was distracted by a loud thump down the hall.

[feuilly-cakes]

Night World by L.J.Smith - Review/Overview

So 2 weeks ago I began a journey to reread one of my most favourite series that I hadn’t read for upwards of 8 years. It was an emotional rollercoaster, between some truly emotional moments and WTF moments, huge plot twists and excited memories. I enjoyed the experience, but let me tell you my reading preferences have changed hugely since I was a preteen and I can no longer call it a favourite, because the entire series is based on insta-love and is written just like you would expect a teen vampire romance written in the 90s. Before scaring you off, let me tell you what it’s about. Every story is about unlikely soulmates, usually between a human and a Night World citizen. The Night World contains vampires, witches, werewolves, and shapeshifters, and it’s forbidden that humans know about it, and it’s forbidden that a Night World citizen falls in love with a human. Although set in the same world and characters appearing multiple times throughout, each book is a standalone and simply follows a formula. If you loved the vampire books of the past couple decades and also insta-love and soulmates, then please check out the series. I have an overview/review of each below.

We begin with SECRET VAMPIRE. Poppy has been diagnosed with cancer and is given only months to live. Her best friend, the mysterious James, says that he can save her, but at what cost? This is a particularly brutal start to a series, dealing with death and grief and huge life changing decisions, but it really serves to drag you into the story and make you care about the characters from the start. It’s very much written as a teen vampire romance though, with the convenient plot happenings and unnecessary drama. It sets the tone for the rest of the series so if you enjoy this you’ll probably love all the books.

Next is DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS, which follows Mary-Lynnette as she falls headfirst into a mystery of Night World Proportions. Just what were the new girls in town burying in their aunt’s garden? And where has the old woman gone? If you liked Ash in the first book, you’ll be happy to see him again here, this time intent on dragging his sisters back to the enclave from which they escaped. This one used to be my favourite, for the soulmate aspect and the big reveal (not as big or intense to 21 y/o me as 12 y/o me I must say) but somehow not the murder mystery plot, which I remembered nothing about and so was completely immersed in. I also realised around this point that insta-love doesn’t do it for me anymore, and I would have rathered it be a 400 page slow burn than a 200 page insta-love rushed kinda deal. The ending was very sweet so I forgave it for the time period it was written in.

Third in the series was ENCHANTRESS, a story about witchcraft and fighting over a boy. Thea has found her soulmate in a human, but her cousin Blaise has set her sights on him too. Thea must compete with Blaise to save her soulmate, because not only does Blaise play with boys until they break, but love between a human and a Night World citizen is punishable by death. I’m personally not a fan of these sorts of stories, but the sisterly bond between Thea and Blaise as well as the introduction of the witches was interesting enough to tide me through, and I was rewarded with a nice ending.

Volume 2 begins with DARK ANGEL. After Gillian drowns in the dead of winter, she is brought back by Angel, who promises to make her popular and help her get the guy. But who is Angel really, and what does he want from Gillian? As someone who adores flawed protagonists, the selfish, shallow, and hopelessly naive Gillian was a great one. She makes terrible decisions and ignores all the red flags that we as readers can see easily, which is frustrating and great to read about. I loved this witchy story far more than the last, and I really wanted more like it, with lost witches and how they find their way back.

THE CHOSEN is about vampire slave trafficking, so your mileage may vary. Rashel is a bitter and vengeful vampire hunter, sworn to kill them all after witnessing the deaths of her mother and best friend at just 5 years old. When girls start to go missing, Rachel must investigate and stop whoever is taking them, even if it means going up against the fearsome vampire Quinn. This book opens up with the double murder, and then Rachel being targeted for another, which definitely leaves her traumatised. That being said, she is 17 when the main story happens, and has some cringe moments (such as “this kitten has claws” which had me physically put the book down to cringe over it.) The insta love was getting tedious at this point (seriously they meet like 3 times and most of that is spent with her trying to kill him) so when the dramatic plot twist happened I was relieved for some real drama, and drama it was let me tell you. I once again had to put the book down and just gape in shock, for I had remembered none of it. A good read.

SOULMATE, meanwhile, had me in great emotional pain. We follow Hannah, who has been finding notes in her own handwriting telling her she will be dead before she is 17, that she must remembered something important, and that He is coming. Using hypnotherapy, she begins to unravel her past lives and the mystery that runs through all of them regarding her soulmate Thierry, a Lord of the Night World, who she is inexplicably afraid of in her memories. All I can comment here is the reincarnation, star crossed lovers, and soulmates, all mixed into one big story nearly did me in. Also, the characters from the previous books make an appearance, which is always exciting.

This is where we get an overarching plot that never got completed. All you need to know is that there’s a prophesy predicting the apocalypse and there are 4 Wild Powers who are fated to stop it but only if all 4 are together.

HUNTRESS kicks off with Jez Redfern discovering she is a vampire/human hybrid and leaving her vampire gang to go live with her human family. She joins Circle Daybreak and becomes a vampire hunter, but is called back into the Night World when her old second in command, Morgead, demands a position on the Council in exchange for the first Wild Power. She is tasked with uncovering the identity of the person before the Night World Council does, and bringing them into Circle Daybreak alive. The characters in this one aren’t very interesting, but it’s not a problem because the plot goes by super quickly and the mystery keeps the story afloat. If you love a big reveal then this is a good book for it.

BLACK DAWN is about slavery and socks. When Sylvia turns up in the dead of night with news that her boyfriend, Maggie’s brother, has gone missing in a climbing accident and is presumed dead, Maggie feels something isn’t quite right with the story, and in the process of trying to find out the truth she is taken by slavers. She must now survive the journey into the dark kingdom hidden in the mountains, and find the way out, told to her in a strange dream... I found the plot a bit convenient and a bit cliche at times, which is only to be expected from this series at this point. The only thing that truly surprised me was the “The Deliverer!” scene, which you will know immediately when you come to it. Genuinely I couldn’t quite grasp what was happening and so I had no reaction to it but looking back that was bizarre and made zero sense in the context of the book, which until that point was a survival story. An odd one, but not bad until that point.

The final book, but not the end of the story, is WITCHLIGHT. Keller is a shapeshifter tasked with protecting an unknowing Wild Power, delivering her to her bonding ceremony to the prince of shapeshifters, and therefore ensuring a treaty between the witches and the shapeshifters in the coming war. The catch is that the prince is Keller’s soulmate and Iliana, the Wild Power, refuses to accept that she is magical. This was a weird one for a different reason and that reason has scales. Keller seemed annoying at first and so did Iliana, but that was quickly overtaken by the DRAGON?! plotline. My notes on this were very sweary and confused. I liked the history lesson we get on the history of shapeshifters - it seems to be a parallel to colonialism and slavery, and the guilt we feel knowing our ancestors did that to people. On a less serious note, for someone so sharp and strategic, Keller sure is dumb when it comes to her feelings. She’s part of Circle Daybreak and yet doesn’t recognise the soulmate bond when it comes to her and I was frustrated. The fallout of her realising the truth was painful and real, very lovely but in a sad way. The showdown was super exciting and the ending I loved. There was a lot of character development too.

I highly recommend checking this series out. It’s not expensive to buy and is a fun and easy read.

[azwriting]

A Tea-ffee Date (The Writer and The Photographer, Harry Holland x Reader) - Chapter Four

Hi guys, sorry for the delay on this chapter! I got a little wrapped up in one of my other fics! Anyways here's chapter four, I hope you like it! Feedback is always appreciated, and let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! 

Summary: Harry and (Y/N) go on their tea/coffee date where Harry reveals he read her book and (Y/N) reveals she knew who the curly haired boy was all along. 

Warning(s): Language, Reader has bad relationship with Mom, slight angst

Word Count: 2557

(Y/N) could not contain the pure happiness that was soaking into her skin, like the shining sun above. It had been since, well, since never that she had felt so content and at peace with life. Sure she had, had moments of happiness throughout her life, but it had always seemed like a dark cloud was hovering somewhere nearby. The dark cloud usually her mother… 

(Y/N) shook away the thought, she was thousands of miles away, an ocean away, she would not let the woman get to her here. (Y/N) had a new job, a promising career of writing and editing ahead of her, and not to toot her own horn, but she was pretty damn proud of herself. She was living in London, beneath the warm spring sun, with her best friends and her sweet dog. Not to mention the cute boy next door with wild curls and a contagious laugh, that she was quickly becoming friends with. Who would have thought Spider-Man would be her neighbor? 

Oh yeah she totally knew who Harry and his briefly mentioned brother were, (Y/N) was a massive nerd after all. All of these were reasons as to why she could not, would not, let her own mother squander her ambitions and happiness from a continent away.

It was early Saturday afternoon when Harry strolled into the nearby coffee shop in Kingston, where he had planned to meet (Y/N) for their “Tea-ffee” date as she had called it one day in passing. The Writer had a meeting in the city this morning, so she would be running a tad behind, urging Harry to just meet her at the shop. Harry took a seat in a comfortable chair at a small antique wood table in the back, waiting for his plus one. 

Shifting in his seat, he could hear the crinkling sound of the folded piece of paper in his jeans pocket, the paper filled with questions, remarks, and small notes that he had after reading A Mild Case of the Crazies. The boy had read (Y/N)’s book in one night and he could not even lie, he cried, a couple times. (Y/N)’s childhood had had great moments, filled with love, happiness, laughter and excitement, but there were many parts of it that were heartbreaking, dejecting, and self-esteem squashing. 

Harry now knew her favorite color, her birthday, her favorite movies, that she was in fact a big nerd, her custody agreement, the close relationship she had with her father, and the very tough one she had with her mother. It all only drew him in more, like an insect captivated by a bright light. He knew it was odd to have such intense feelings for someone he had only known for a week, had only talked to a handful of times, most of them in passing, but he could not help the natural allure he felt inside. Harry simply had to befriend her…

Two minutes before the clock struck 12:30 p.m. the front door was pulled open to reveal a woman walking in, catching Harry’s attention. She wore a black long sleeve tucked into a black and gray plaid skirt, black sheer stockings and black booties. Her red lips, sunglasses, and crossbody purse the only color against her monotone outfit. (Y/N)’s headphones were in her ears as she entered the coffee shop, Harry was pretty sure he could hear the music from his seat, eyes hidden behind her sunglasses as she scoped out the small shop. 

Her head finally turned to Harry’s small corner and a large grin broke out across her face. She rushed over, pulling her headphones out of her ears and placing her sunglasses atop her head, revealing her sparkling (Y/E/C) eyes. “Hey!” She greeted warmly, Harry standing to hug her. (Y/N) pressed a quick kiss to his cheek during the hug and Harry was certain his cheeks had turned to the exact shade of red as (Y/N)’s lipstick imprint. She did not seem to notice and if she did, she did not mention it. “Did you order yet?” (Y/N) questioned pointing behind her to the front counter. 

Harry shook his head moving towards the line, “No, I was waiting for you.” 

(Y/N) smiled at that following suit, “And they say chivalry is dead!”

After ordering their drinks and Harry insisting to pay, the two sat back down with their drinks in hand, tea for Harry and an iced coffee for (Y/N). “So…” (Y/N) giggled taking a sip of her drink. 

“So…” Harry mirrored smiling at the girl across from him. 

“Where do you want to start?” Harry pondered for a moment, taking a sip of his tea, the liquid warming his insides, it may be early May but the cooler temperatures were still sticking in East London. 

“Oh, I know, I read your book!” (Y/N)’s eyes bugged out, choking on her current sip of coffee. 

“You did?!” 

Harry laughed nodding as he retrieved the folded piece of paper from his pocket, “And I have some questions!” He waved the piece of paper in front of (Y/N), who still seemed to be in shock. She could not process the fact that Harry Holland had read HER book! Harry unfolded the piece of paper, revealing both sides to be filled with tiny scrawls of notes, questions, etc. 

“Oh dear god!” Harry flushed, mildly embarrassed, he could not help but want to address certain aspects of the book, and it was not often where you could do so openly with the actual author. “How about we make a deal?” Harry’s eyebrow rose at that, “For every question you ask me, I ask one in return?” 

A soft innocent smirk spread across (Y/N)’s red lips and it had Harry instantly nodding, unsure of what he was getting himself into, but he reminded himself that this is what he signed up for. 

“Deal.” (Y/N) bit her lip, gesturing with a manicured finger for him to start. 

Clearing his throat Harry mindlessly read off his first question, “Is it true your mum and you haven’t spoken since the book? Even after the epilogue?” Harry could admit the book illustrated (Y/N)’s mother to be an interesting person, one who yes, loved her children, but had the wrong way of showing it. 

Throughout the book, throughout the different years and milestones (Y/N) covered in her early years of life, her mother had always seemed to be a looming presence, one that had and Harry would quote the book, ‘...dragged me down into a deep abyss of self doubt and depression. One that no matter how hard I tried to climb out of, her dark tentacles would pull me back down into her suffocating grasp.’ 

The line had resonated with Harry as the boy could not imagine his mother doing that to him, instead she had always pushed the boys to spread their wings not drown. Yet, after an entire 369 pages of (Y/N)’s life, many chapters delving into her increasingly tough relationship with her mother, the Epilogue had been dedicated to the woman. (Y/N) had expressed her understanding of her tough childhood, of their constant arguments, and the hurtful words. She wrote how she understood her mother’s own demons had weighed her down, causing problems in their bond and how her mother could not accept responsibility for tarnishing that precious bond, instead choosing to blame her own daughter and ex-husband. (Y/N) wrote how after writing the past 360 or so pages, she had finally greeted acceptance as an old friend, and accepted that these were parts of her past. And on the final page of the heart wrenching book in big bold lettering three words were written that sent the world into a spiral of emotions. 

‘I Forgive You.’

  It was heavy, the book was heavy, touching upon things not many other books chose to discuss, the relationship between a child and a mentally ill parent. 

(Y/N) let out a loud huff of air, “Starting off with the hot and heavy huh?” 

Harry’s eyes widened at that, how foolish of him to ask that question first or even at all, “I-I’m so sorry, you don’t need t-to answer!” (Y/N) shook her head, a small smile on her face reassuring him. 

“No no, I don’t mind. Trust me I’ve dished plenty to interviewers and even if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t mind telling you.” (Y/N) spoke calmly making Harry feel better. “No we haven’t talked really since the release of the book, almost two years ago now, but honestly she hasn’t even read the book. I believe she only read the first few chapters which I’ll admit don’t paint her in the prettiest light, but she never finished reading it.” (Y/N) shrugged, trying to hide the small frown on her features. Harry frowned with her, his sympathy going to the girl, he could not imagine his own mother acting in such a way.

 Clearing her throat, (Y/N) dismissed her sorrows and turned back to Harry, a smile returning to her face. “My turn,” She pretended to ponder for a moment tapping her finger against her chin, “What’s it like having three brothers?” 

Harry groaned, “A chaotic mess honestly!” He had answered so quickly, his mind had not even fully registered her question. “Wait!” His eyes widened and (Y/N) only smirked in return. “How do you know I have three brothers? I only mentioned one!” (Y/N) giggled lifting her shoulders in a simple ‘you caught me’ motion. 

“C’mon Harry! You read my book! I talk in extensive detail about my love for the Marvel movies! Hell, I was going to go to Film school so I could work for Disney before the whole book thing!” Film School? Ah yes he did remember reading about that in her book, another reason he was drawn to the girl. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Harry questioned, a small part of him beginning to doubt (Y/N)’s intentions with him, was she here to learn about Harry or his infamous heartthrob brother Tom?

 “I’m sorry would you prefer this,” (Y/N) paused inhaling sharply, “OMG Harry Holland is that you???” Her voice rose up an octave while still trying to be quiet in the store as to not draw any unwanted attention. 

Harry snorted, no he guessed he did not want that, but his inner doubt was still plaguing his thoughts, “So you’re a Spider-Man fan then?” 

(Y/N) nodded immediately, “Oh yeah love him, more of a Cap girl though.” Harry sighed a little, perhaps this was only an opportunity to meet famous actors, not that he thought so lowly of (Y/N), but he was just used to people cozying up to him for their own advantages. (Y/N)’s eyes narrowed watching him as if she was reading his thoughts, “I love Spider-Man don’t get me wrong, but I kinda have a thing for curly haired redheads.” She smirked at him as Harry’s face instantaneously burned bright red, her words squashing his doubts.

 “H-hey I’m not a redhead!” Harry defended, eliciting a loud laugh from (Y/N), the girl’s eyes widening in disbelief. 

“Oh Oh Oh you so are!”

The cool spring breeze whipped past the two as they walked down the sidewalk of Kingston, enjoying the sun and blossoming trees. “So you have a little brother?” Harry questioned, lightly bumping his shoulder into (Y/N). Her covered eyes looked over to him, a smile always on her lips, Harry never wanted her to stop smiling at him. 

“Yes I do, my pride and joy that goof!” (Y/N) laughed lightly, before looking off into the distance recalling something. Harry knew (Y/N) and her younger half brother had a close relationship, he had read all about it. Her Mother and Stepfather had always been working in their youth, leading to (Y/N) to practically raise the boy herself. An 11 year old girl becoming a parent to a 3 year old boy, it was absurd. 

Harry could only imagine the strain their mother had caused on their relationship as well, the book had described how she hated the motherly role (Y/N) had taken on for her brother. 

“He’s coming to visit during the summer, hopefully you can meet him!” (Y/N) spoke, returning to look at Harry, who nodded in agreement. The rest of the walk was quiet, the two mirroring flats coming into view. The two stopped in front of (Y/N)’s stairs, both fiddling with their feet as looked at each other, obviously hesitant to depart. 

The pair were unsure where this was leading; were they meant to be friends or something more? Neither could really tell, but the significant pull and attraction between the two was noticeable and unfightable, not that either one of them wanted to fight it.

 “Do you… do you want to come in?” (Y/N) asked, a nervous smile on her face. Harry grinned in return, his face was starting to hurt from all the smiling.

 “I’d like that.” With that, (Y/N) quickly turned on her heel and rushed up the steps to unlock the dark blue door, Harry following.

 “Honey I’m home!” (Y/N) shouted as she hung up her red crossbody onto one of many white hooks perched on the side wall. The flat was similar to Tom’s but this one appeared a tad bigger with a different layout and color scheme. Not to mention it looked much cleaner and more styled than Tom’s.

 “No one cares!” A voice called back and (Y/N) scoffed lightly as she removed her shoes and placed them in a shoe basket beneath the hooks. (Y/N)’s stocking covered feet shuffled forward on the dark wood floor as she bent down to greet the excited black lab who came bounding in, while Harry removed his shoes as well.

 “How was your date with the cute neighbor?” Another voice called making (Y/N) cough loudly as she walked into the kitchen on the left.

 “Um it went well, considering…” (Y/N) trailed off as Harry entered the kitchen behind her, Bella licking his palm, and the two twin girls surrounding the kitchen island going bugged eyed. “Harry this is Hayley,” (Y/N) pointed to the blonde girl standing behind the island, “and Madison”, she pointed to the brunette girl sitting on one of the bar stools at the island. “Guys this is Harry.” Short awkward waves were given along with small hello’s, (Y/N) only giggling as she moved to wash her hands at the large kitchen sink behind Hayley.

 “Idiot” Madison murmured under her breath, regarding Hayley’s remark about the cute neighbor, who happened to be in the townhouse as well.

 “God you’re so fucking annoying!” Hayley groaned back at her twin, which only earned her a huff in return.

 “Well you’re fucking ugly!” (Y/N)’s head dropped in the background as she snickered to herself and Harry had to hide his small laugh into the palm of his hand. The two twins were identical, besides their hair color, which only meant Madison was insulting herself. 

“Ok then!” (Y/N) laughed drying her hands on a blue kitchen towel, “I’m going to show Harry around. You two, keep doing whatever you are doing!” (Y/N) practically pushed Harry back down the front hall towards the stairs, unbeknownst to the eyes trailing after them. 

Madison leaned back in the black iron chair and Hayley leaned over to the kitchen island, the two watching their best friend and the neighbor ascend the stairs, both of them staring at each other fondly. 

“This oughta be interesting.”

Taglist:

@aloneinherroom​

@ineedabifriend​

[bakudekuficlibrary]

BakuDeku: Supernatural Elements

A lengthy one this will be, all the goods in one list for your viewing pleasure!

These supernatural elements are all fantasy related works such as werewolves, vampires, demons, and more. Here is the list in order:

120 Works.

- Werewolves: 18 Works. - Vampires: 13 Works. - Mers/sirens/selkies: 13 Works. - Ghosts: 17 Works. - Witches & Fairies: 6 Works. - Angels & Demons: 21 Works. - Zombies: 4 Works. - Youkai/spirits/Kitsune: 1 Work. - Naga/monsters: 7 Works. - Mixed Elements: 20 Works.

~Eve ❣

Werewolves and were-creatures

[Discontinued] a boy and his dog: a wolf's tail by Ramabear (RyMagnatar), TheatricalPlacenta ( E | 102,947+ | 6/? )

In a world of supernatural beings, one young man is doing his best to get by.

Izuku’s a simple human and a college student, curious and cautious with a generosity and kindness that can be killer. But when a chance encounter with the Big Bad Wolf of campus breaks him out of his shell, will Izuku succumb to the flames of his new desire, or will he rise above it all?

But this bad boy Katsuki isn’t all that he appears to be. Behind that prickly exterior is a heart of gold and beneath that lies a hunger that Izuku can’t yet fathom.

Even if Izuku can manage to tame the wolf on his tail, what will he do with the beast inside of himself when it comes calling?

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Noncon groping ]

K-9 by warschach  ( E | 18,304 | 1/1 )

Izuku takes in a stray on one rainy night, except it's not a dog, it's a dog shifter who goes by the name, Katsuki. After the initial wave of panic and embarrassment, Izuku thinks his new pet/roommate is pretty cute.

You. Me. The Moon. by Copkilla1990  ( E | 67,555+ | 17/? )

it started with katsuki's uncontrollable werewolf wet dreams.

or something like that

[hiatus] i will not be tamed by the dark by wonduhhwoman  ( M | 10,530+ | 2/? )

Katsuki is looking to tie himself to the wielder of the Great Spirit of Harmony's power through a blood bond. Aizawa has other plans for the famed King of Beasts.

or

Izuku saves a wolf and earns a guard dog. It's begrudging on both sides.

Dear Fellow Traveler by Morpheel  ( E | 19,863+ | 4/? )

On the verge of completing a cure that would see to the end of many common ailments, Alchemist Izuku Midoriya grows desperate at the realization that he is missing a key ingredient to his brew.

However the blanket of night looms overhead, promising trouble to any who would dare venture out into the deadened woods at these hours. Many travelers have lost their lives braving the dangers of the forest, but it's a risk that Izuku must take, as the concoction would be unusable by the crack of dawn.

Yet the forest was never supposed to hold Werewolves.

Sorely unprepared for a run-in with the Alpha of a desperate pack, Izuku is captured, and held hostage within their ranks. In the midst of a clan afflicted with illness and death, Midoriya must survive the temperament of clan leader Bakugo Katuski, while attempting to find a cure for their affliction.

Easier said than done.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Child Death ]

You're Everything A Big Bad Wolf Could Want by ElopeToTheSea  ( T | 23,959 | 5/5 )

Little red riding hood

I don't think little big boys should

Go walking in these spooky old woods alone...

In which Izuku saves a wounded dog, and ends up with a mate for life.

crescent fever by umbrage  ( E | 4,116 | 1/1 )

The night before a full moon, a werewolf’s inhibitions are at an all-time low.

Juggernaut by warschach  ( E | 19,357+ | 4/? )

What had four legs, a tail, fur all over, and went 'woof woof' in the dead of night?

Katsuki's soulmate, Izuku Midoriya, the werewolf.

Which is funny-if you're fucked up in the head and you're going to get real fast why Katsuki was a special Frosted Flakes brand of 'fucked'- because Katsuki's profession clocked out monsters' time card early.

It should be fine.

Narrator: It was, in fact, not fine.

(or Katsuki meets his soulmate at the worst time and under the worst circumstances, tries to deny his feelings while battling monsters, attending class-yea,no-, and trying to piece together the giant gaps in his past. so adulthood except everything does want to kill him.)

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage ]

Friction by warschach  ( M | 20,057 | 3/5 )

Izuku's getting married today.

To an alpha he hasn't met and doesn't know beyond his name and the kind of strain he was born with; lion if anyone was curious. And it wouldn't be that bad of a situation but Izuku's an alpha too with a tiger strain, and you know the spiel about alpha-alpha unions more fighting than loving in those bedsheets.

So there's a high probability this whole sham marriage might go up in flames if they're not careful; and when was the last you heard about alphas being careful, huh?

(or Izuku makes the right dumb decision to marry the right alpha under the wrong conditions)

Through Lies and Deceit by Shadowolven ( E | 15,351+ | 2/? )

Supernatural beings, termed occults, haunt the land in search for human victims for their consumption. The surviving human race, having splintered into numerous settlements across the land, struggle in a never-ending war to keep the occults at bay and to ultimately eradicate the fiends.

Izuku and Katsuki are such habitants, training to become professional hunters like their ancestors before them, aiming to become vigilant protectors of humanity. They've spent many years together in training and off, and tonight, on an evening full of celebration, they were given one last opportunity to relax and be the youth the town expected them to be.

But, things go terribly wrong when the truth becomes discovered: Katsuki Bakugou is not a human.

[ Homophobia | Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

He Who Catches by TouchofFever (UntappedChaos) ( M | 5,281+ | 2/3 )

Fantasy/Werewolf AU Izuku only survived the winter of his fourth year because a tribe of werewolves took him in. He became one of theirs, a son of wolves. Guilt made his wolven mother return him to humans once the seasonal melt arrived, but that didn't stop him from making a promise with someone... a someone who, however precious, he forgot in order to live.

Call of the Moon by SurelyHeavenWaits ( E | 44,662 | 11/11 )

Bakugou is a werewolf and his wolf hungers for one thing- well, one person. His childhood best friend. And he refuses to let his wolf hurt him.

[ Mildly Dubious Consent | Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Izuku & Wan-chan by errant_rivalry ( G | 2,120 | 1/1 )

A unusual dog visits a boy so he doesn't spend Halloween alone.

Mine by bkdkwritingsdump ( M | 2,505 | 1/1 )

Izuku’s just a humble alchemist who lives in a cottage in the woods… with his werewolf boyfriend, Katsuki. Every month, when he can no longer control his wolf instincts, he gets particularly possessive, maybe even too possessive. (He’s still a sweet little sap under it all, though.)

Let Me In, Let Me In by osakakitty ( E | 3,131 | 1/1 )

Izuku finally has a day off from vampire hunting, and decides to spend it binging candy and television. His werewolf boyfriend has other ideas.

Halloween Exchange gift for Bubblyn!

Wolf’s Bane by tenneiah ( E | 24,041+ | 5/? )

It’s a world ruled by the humans.

It’s been 30 years of wolves getting hunted and killed by them. 30 years of prejudice, taboos and discrimination between both species. 30 years since the leader of the werewolves was murdered, trying to achieve peace.

Still after 30 years, a nerd named Izuku finds himself assisting an injured wolf in the middle of the night, in the heart of Tokyo.

[ Genocide References | Graphic Depictions Of Violence ]

The Hunting Party by MarionetteFtHJM ( E | 50,488+ | 12/? )

Izuku had gotten himself into many messes over the years. He’d once got stuck in the back of a restaurant after hours because he’d been too shy to ask someone to let him out of the staff bathroom he’d locked himself into. Or that time he got stuck on a roof of a house saving a random cat for some little girl’s sake. Or when his mom left him home alone for the first time and he invited four neighborhood stray dogs into the house and they’d made a mess out of everything. Come to think of it, most of his messes involved animals. Comically he thinks, this is no different.

(Alternatively: Izuku and Katsuki get caught in the crossfire, fake date and then solve some problems for some dangerous beings)

The Reason It's Wrong by Merrywetherweather ( T | 10,247+ | 4/? )

Izuku Midoriya is a Were species, a type of creature that has the ability to shift into a specific animal. As a rabbit Were, his mother had always taught him that

1) Weres had to keep themselves hidden, even from other Were species

2) He had to keep his identity a secret to protect himself from humans

and

3) He would most assuredly be hunted and killed if a predator Were found him out.

Bakugou Katsuki is such a predator Were. But his head's a mess, his primal wolf instincts conflicted about the newest hunt he's taken up.

An animal Wereau.

Vampires

red like wine by wbtrashking (fan_nerd) ( M | 12,593 | 1/1 )

Katsuki stops, startled by something crashing through the bushes. He hopes it's just an animal knocking into a tree, but his instincts have prepared him for the worst. He comes face to face with a deeply-wounded man, his eyes feral and dark. Blood drips from his clothes when the man falls to his knees.

Anybody with a wound that large has to be up to no good. Katsuki knows that fact very well

vigilance by wbtrashking (fan_nerd) ( M | 8,190 | 1/1 )

“I understand if it’s too much to deal with right now,” Izuku softly starts, “but I’d appreciate it if you two could tell me what's going on.”

One youth with silver hair offers him a wary look. “You with those creeps who have scales?”

Izuku shakes his head.

Then, the red-haired young man looks Izuku up and down, staring into his green eyes for a long moment before he speaks again. “There are rumors, right―about people that aren’t one hundred percent human.”

“Sure.”

“I’m one of them.”

Izuku and Katsuki are well-known vigilantes in Japan. Rumors about them spread far and wide, occasionally making their jobs more difficult. When they catch word of a syndicate doing awful experiments on children, the two of them chase down those responsible and make them pay.

Vampire Deku by Betery ( M | 7,453+ | 4/? )

Being quirkless doesn't mean you can't be a hero. Being at the right place at the right time and the gumption to DO something makes you a hero. Sometimes this can have fatal results; luckily fate was smiling was looking down on Izuku and he did in fact not die. However, something else DID happen to him that will affect him for the rest of his life.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

A Drop of You by felicitous ( E | 7,920+ | 2/? )

When Izuku is out celebrating with friends, he notices a familiar face in the crowd and learns that his childhood friend has changed in ways he never imagined possible.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

your kiss tastes so red by kewltie ( T | +4,057 | 1/? )

A wolf and a lamb falls in love. It's the perfect fucked up fairy tale.

[ Obsessive Behavior ]

Lovebites by mynameis152 ( E | 128,941+ | 39/? )

Katsuki Bakugou was going to hate this summer.

He thought he'd hate it because he was being forced to leave home and work for his mother's friend in a small, seaside town. He thought he'd hate it cause he was being punished for burning his room to a crisp. He thought he'd hate it because he hated change.

But it turns out, he hated the Supernatural Turfwar between four species that shouldn't exist but do a whole lot more....

Or

The one where Katsuki is forced to move in with Inko for the summer and finds himself falling for a particular bloodsucker....

[ Suicide Attempt | Graphic Depictions Of Violence ]

Bad Days by GreyDayMoon ( M | 11921+ | 6/? )

Izuku was having a pretty bad day.

Someone else was also having a shitty day too and ended up bleeding out in the alley Izuku was walking through.

Izuku in his bleeding heart nature decided to help him.

The day got worse for Izuku.

[ Graphic Depictions Of Violence ]

Don't Play With Your Food by bkdkwritingsdump ( T | 1,067 | 1/1 )

Katsuki feels apprehensive about the arrangement he's made with Izuku; he knows a vampire and a human shouldn't be in love. (But, here they are anyway.)

War of Hearts by Simplyfx ( T | +13,022 | 4/? )

Bakugo Katsuki hates vampires from the bottom of his heart, reason why he had promised himself to exterminate all of them from the face of the earth. His resolve falters when he meets Midoriya Izuku, a vampire who claims to hate him to death.

Ivory by Dark_Mage_Ayumu ( E | 3,566 | 1/1 )

When he looked up, Izuku was sitting in his lap. His mouth hung open as he panted harshly, messy hair even messier as it clung to his forehead. Katsuki could clearly see his top row of teeth, and how massive and sharp his canines were.

“Kacchan… Please… Just a little… I promise…”

[ Underage ]

Don't want the world to see me by undertake_r ( M | +4,167 | 2/? )

Katsuki doesn’t really think of himself as a good person. He never has, he knows he isn’t.

He supposes this was just karma coming back to bite him in the ass.

His dull red eyes stare up at the grey sky, blurry with the rain falling from the clouds above as it mingles with the blood from his weeping shoulder and probably broken nose.

The dull throb from the slice in his arm felt warm as his natural healing closed the wound slower than normal.

He’s going to have to use his last packet of blood on this bullshit. Fuck.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

you said you'd keep me honest (but i won't call you on it) by arifail ( T | 10,738 | 1/1 )

Deku wasn't Katsuki's problem so there really wasn't any good reason for him to be standing outside the nerd's door, hollering loud enough to wake the dead.

Or for Deku to be opening the door looking like the dead Katsuki had woken up.

Crimson Concrete by pearliegrimm ( M | 29,817+ | 16/? )

Bakugou Katsuki was pretty sure he had this vampire shit down to a tee. All he had to do was stay away from the sunlight, avoid churches and not have any attachments to humans? That was literally how Katsuki had lived his life up until now- it was the exact same, except, he supposed, with higher stakes (ha, get it?)

“Hey dude, does this mean you can’t eat garlic bread anymore?”

Oh.

OH NO.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Merpeople, sirens, selkies

[Abandoned] Green Sea by HG_Wells ( M | 7,263+ | 1/? )

KatsuDeku Mermaid!AU (I haven't seen very many of them around and at this point it's just plain annoying)

Izuku Midoriya is Prince of the Sea, a young Merman who was next in line for the throne. He has everything a Merman could ask for, except for one thing; Freedom. He wants to see what the surface is like, but it's against every law in all Seven Sea's to breath air. But what Izuku thinks is a small trip turns into a live or die situation, and he finds himself placing all of his trust into a talented Biologist to get home.

Sugared Saltwater by halcyonwhispers ( T | 6,956+ | 2/? )

As a high class model for most of his life, Katsuki knows the ins and outs of any gig. He’s worked with Oscar-winning actor “All Might”, had his face plastered on magazine covers, and modeled Gucci and Prada for fashion week in Milan with that asshat Todoroki, so shooting a fucking perfume ad shouldn’t be hard.

Not even with the overgrown fish in the tank.

///

that one au where katsuki’s a super model and risks his ass to save a merman (and vice versa)

Songling by Seatrix ( Not rated | 2,471 | 1/1 )

A long time ago the sirens, who had ruled the seas for eons, decided they wanted to go onto land, and so they brought their songs and shared it with the civilizations on land.

Centuries later, all that remains of a siren is but a small scale set at the base of the siren’s throat, these creatures called themselves Songlings, and lived next to their original home-the sea.

There are many ways a scale could break.

For Midoriya Izuku, heartbreak broke his.

Fish Eye by sweetautumnwine ( T | 7,707 | 1/1 )

Izuku, a solitary merman, finds himself captured by aquarium staff and imprisoned in one of their laboratories; the man assigned to observe him, Katsuki, was on the boat when he was ensnared in the nets. As they grow to know each other more, Katsuki must decide where his duty lies, and Izuku must learn what his heart desires.

Fishy by warschach ( E | 19,417 | 1/1 )

Izuku’s convinced his hot co-worker/neighbor, Katsuki, is a mermaid-or merman- you gotta consider genders even with mythical creatures- and plans to prove it.

(or this is kinda like the show ‘Monster Quest’, except Izuku actually finds said monster, falls in love, and have sexy times.)

The sea, it calls me by MochiUs ( E | 17,860+ | 3/? )

One was searching for what was lost. One was looking for what was rightfully his. They were creatures of the sea, and this was their tale. This was the story of how a selkie and a merman fell in love.

[ Suicidal Thoughts ]

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by kewltie ( M | 1,834+ | 1/? )

Even the devil got nothing on Bakugou Katsuki, but it may have hand him something else. Something otherworldly, something scaly and with a tail.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

green around the gills by umbrage ( M | 9054+ | 3/10 )

In a world where mythical mer are born and bred for entertainment, Bakugou abruptly finds himself charged with the care of a battle-scarred betta.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | PTSD | Mentions of Abuse ]

shipwreck on the red sea by flowercafe ( M | 12,036+ | 3/? )

Izuku’s always been wary of sharks, but he never expected to come face to face with one like this.

or

Midoriya Izuku is a village fisherman who embarks on a dangerous quest to save his small mangrove village from starvation. When he accidentally stumbles into the treacherous waters of an apex predator, Izuku must figure out a way to endure the cold fury of one deadly and very volatile shark mer.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Lifesaving Kiss by Paper_Wings ( E | 14,840+ | 4/? )

When a terrible storm sets in without warning, and Izuku is thrown overboard, he finds himself face to face with a living creature of legend. Stranded on a rock in the siren's den, the young sailor has seven days to convince the beautiful, but deadly siren to spare him.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Dubcon | Panic Attacks ]

The Secret of the Sea by Trinatee_the_Manatee ( Not rated | 4,372+ | 2/? )

When he was young, Katsuki was very close to an omega merboy named Izuku. One day, a band of pirates came and stole Izuku from him. Now Katsuki is setting sail with a rowdy band of privateers, and he swears on the sea that he will get his Deku back.

What Am I? by FadedNobody ( T | 6,959+ | 1/? )

After crawling onto land over five years ago Katsuki discovered that life as a human could be pretty damn great. So when he finds himself training some nerdy green eyed loser at the surf shop why does his world suddenly stand still?

+++

Izuku's stuck in life and as door after door of opportunity closes before him he turns to the only thing he has left. Surfing the blue waves of his home town. So where did this blonde asshole come from and why does he insist he's a local?

for whatever we lose by kindaopps ( Not Rated | 4,553 | 1/1 )

He locks the pelt up in a chest, and keeps the key hanging from his neck.

The boy's face was devastated, but Katsuki found even that quite beautiful.

[ Dub-Con ]

Ghosts

[Discontinued] Casper Ain't Shit by CaridwenAngetueur1 ( M | 16,328 | 12/12 )

In which Izuku and his mother are murdered and become ghosts.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death ]

The Dust We Have To Breathe by Tyranno ( T | 11,861 | 8/8 )

Bakugo made a big mistake--a huge one--years ago that he never stopped regretting, and now there's only one student from his highschool getting into UA.

Well, 1½.

(Ghost!Izuku)

help our souls by writedeku ( T | 13,773+ | 3/6 )

Yagi Izuku died at the relatively young age of twenty one, and maybe he might've been content with that - except for the fact that he just can't seem to find the afterlife. Enter Bakugou Katsuki - the Police Academy's finest detective, angry at the world, conspiracy theorist, who quite literally walks into him one early evening on a late October's day. Katsuki hates him, or at least, for the first twelve hours.

I'll haunt the shit out of you by SlytherinsInSpace ( T | +13,258 | 8/? )

First of all- ghosts shouldn’t have anxiety.

Of all the fucking things that could have followed him into death- it had to be an ever-impending sense of doom and discomfort? Hadn’t he already reached his doom? Was death and doom not enough?

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death ]

Handkerchief Dude by zubateatscakes ( M | 10,631 | 1/1 )

Mr. Anger Issues might be an alien, Izuku thought. He couldn’t explain his apparently unlimited voice volume otherwise.

“What have you just called me?” The guy cracked his knuckles and, face twisted in an evil smirk, stepped forwards into his personal space.

Izuku became very pale and then turned as red as a tomato. He flinched and moved backwards, but the man kept approaching. “Did I say it aloud?”

“You fucking did.”

“Oh crap. Sorry?”

“Take your fucking lame excuse for an apology and stick it up your ass,” Mr. Anger Issues spat out, nails digging into his palms.

Ghost hunter Izuku travels between the world of the dead and that of the living. Katsuki is troublesome and likes to brawl.

One day, Izuku finds Katsuki in a dark alley, and their lives entangle together.

Deal with the Devil by stars_go_dim ( T | 9,596+ | 3/? ) 

“So... I’m in hell?”

“Yeah, basically.”

Katsuki paused for a moment and looked Satan in the eyes with an unreadable expression.

“Sweet.”

—-

In which Katsuki makes a deal with the devil and is forced to spend the rest of his time on earth with Izuku until the deal has been successfully completed. However, not everything goes according to plan as Katsuki faces many problems along the way, as he slowly but surely begins to develop intense emotions for the boy - more intense than he had originally planned.

[ Major Character Death ]

Daffodils by magnificent_catastrophe ( T | 5,305 | 1/1 )

Bakugo's been running from his past, a past that holds feelings he's wanted nothing but to bury inside of him. Then one day, a fragment of his past comes to life. Now Bakugo has to deal with his 3rd Year at UA on top of a beast from his past. The road ahead is filled with tears and heartache, and quite frankly, Bakugo's not up for the challenge.

[ PTSD | Mental Illness and Instability ]

Yūrei by EclecticIsMyMiddleName ( E | 53,804+ | 4/6 )

Izuku's apartment is haunted by none other than Bakugo Katsuki's ghost. Imagine his surprise when he finds out why Katsuki's ghost can't rest in peace.

[ Major Character Death ]

Mizpah by SchnellerTod ( M | 6,086+ | 3/? )

The one in which Izuku gets a new life and Katsuki gets pain in the ass.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death ]

Yūrei no Eiyū by FandomManiac22 ( T | 42,281+ | 16/? )

"If you wanna be a hero that badly, there’s a quick way to do it. Believe that you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life and take a swan dive off the roof!”

When Katsuki’s comment comes at just the wrong time, Izuku takes his advice. But it is not the end.

Alternatively:

In another world where Izuku is attacked by the sludge villain on the way to school instead of after it, his dreams get crushed too soon. With nothing to save him and Katsuki’s words ringing in his ears, Izuku decides to end it all by jumping off his school’s roof. As his body cracks on the ground, Izuku does not pass on to the next world. Instead, he is left as a ghost among many others. When the slime villain escapes from jail and attacks the person Izuku can’t help but care for, he learns that there may be more to his afterlife than he thought.

And maybe he can be a hero after all.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death | Suicide | Depression ]

Amateur Ghost Hunters by bkdkwritingsdump ( T | 19,768 | 15/15 )

Izuku, aspiring film producer and fanatic of the paranormal, somehow convinces Katsuki, a staunch skeptic, to start an internet series with him where they investigate supposedly haunted sites. And with both boys attempting to hide their feelings for each other, one has to wonder if it's true what they say about horror and romance…

Hearse by Yousayhun ( M | 4,694 | 1/1 )

I will never go backwards I will never be free I will never run faster Will you sink down to me? I will never go backwards I will never be seen In the wake of disaster, will you sink down to me?

Or the one where Bakugo-kun is seriously sad and Izuku is a ghost.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death ]

EVP Sessions by autochorystalize ( T | 9,682 | 2/2 )

Izuku had been interested in the paranormal for years now, spending many weekends exploring haunted locations and trying to document proof of spirits. Tonight was the start of his next big project: creating a documentary series about paranormal investigation.

Katsuki thought Izuku was full of shit, but he always showed up anyway.

[ Mentions of Suicide ]

Unseen by Catching_Wildfires ( Not rated | +2,864 | 1/? )

If Izuku knew anything about himself, it would be that he was dead.

He didn't remember how it had happened, but here he was, sitting right on top of his school rooftop, gazing into the sunset, with no one else to see him-

"What the fuck are you muttering about, shithead?"

-until now

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

The Witching Hours by bkdkwritingsdump ( G | 2,622 | 1/1 )

Katsuki’s apartment is definitely haunted, but the ghost actually seems to like him, maybe even love him. Can he date a ghost? Is that okay!? Izuku thinks yes, but then again, he’s the ghost ;)

Pit Stop by bishounen_curious ( E | 2,821 | 1/1 )

Izuku's best college memory is definitely when he fucked a ghost on a weekend hiking trip during his junior year.

Written for Scarlotis Luna for a Halloween Exchange!

Quietus by Kovhha ( T | 12,936+ | 3/? )

Green eyes struck his and pinned him in place. Bakugou froze, and his knees felt weak. Big green smiling eyes looked back at his. Freckles wrinkled in a grin, curled hair cupping his cheeks. It had been the happiest damn picture of Izuku Bakugou had even seen. It was so alive, Bakugou almost thought he saw movement from it. But it had just been a picture. A worn picture now that he was looking. It was yellowed and curling at the edges, a stray water stain rolling over one cheek. It was nothing but a cheap imitation of the real thing, nothing but a lingering memory, quickly being forgotten by the passing people. There was a stand holding equally wilted flowers and long burned out candles. It was very far from the rest of the bodies, Bakugou knew the site well.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death ]

Witches & Fairies

That One Time Bakugou Blew a Fairy by CaridwenAngetueur1 ( E | 962 | 1/1 )

Bakugou meets a stranger in a club and decides to give him a blowjob.

Unfortunately, the stranger is a fairy.

a deal of a lifetime by needsmoresleep ( T | 3,903+ | 2/? )

Izuku had been told many times not to wander outside of the woods or too close to human civilizations.

Your Darkness is My Light by Pikachuscribbles ( G | 1,177 | 1/1 )

Bakugou Katsuki is a new era Umbra Witch; something he found out was part of his lineage at age four. However, a certain green haired boy -his best friend since childhood- always had a knack for attracting trouble. And now, here they are, with his Deku somehow trapped in Paradiso, covered in scratches and bruises. And it’s up to Bakugou to take him back home.

A World of Enchantment by NightshadeDawn ( G | 721 | 1/1 )

Izuku's been dreaming of a song for many years. He never imagined where it would lead him.

Burn the Witch by sundaechii ( T | 2,233 | 1/1 )

A week after the start of summer break, the Bakugou’s got a new neighbor.

Dreaming Awake by butterfly78 ( T | 1,970+ | 1/? )

Bakugou Katsuki is just an arrogant witch trying his best. Dorms aren't conductive to secrecy, but by god he's gonna try. Canon compliant until I stop caring.

Angels and demons

Stick The Landing. by theweakestthing ( T | 7,609 | 2/2 )

Bakugou stared at the now gaping hole in his ceiling, blinked several times before his eyes trailed down to the pile of debris in the middle of the room.

"What the fuck?" Bakugou whispered, brows knitted, "what the fuck!" He yelled, shaking vigorously with rage.

The pile of debris shifted and moved, giving way to something that looked suspiciously like a body. Fluffy green hair appeared from the rubble along with the rest of a very naked man that didn't have a single scratch on their body apart from something on the man's back, it was completely absurd, utterly absolutely completely absurd. The man turned toward him, smiled wide and moved slowly from the debris, ceiling tiles and splintered wood moving around the man's legs and feet.

"Kacchan," the man said, smile wide and kinda scary.

"What?" Bakugou barked, taking a step back, really though what the hell was happening.

I Summoned a Demon 101: an In-comprehensive guide to Corporeal Demon Do's and Don'ts by EAter ( E | 96,150+ | 36/? )

Midoriya Izuku was born with a quirk: the ability to summon and bind demons from an alternate plane to do his bidding. With only a few days left until the UA entrance exam and still no offensive-type demons in his arsenal, Izuku makes a desperate venture at summoning one corporeal, a feat he had never before attempted. He'd say it was a success- but he doesn't actually know if it'll be more a help or a hindrance. Especially since Bakugou Katsuki is, well, kind of a shit.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Underage | Panic Attacks | Dissociation | Mentions of Rape | Mentions of Child Abuse ]

One of You by LucianPrompto ( T | 2,658+ | 3/? )

When you hear the word “special” or “unique” what is the first thing you think of?

Some might say themselves, the place they live or the people around them, or even something like the weather that day.

In another world, Midoriya Izuku desired to be this above all else. To be able to be a well-loved hero with a cool quirk to protect everyone with. But in this world, he wished nothing but to be like the other, hidden, unknown, quirkless.

In this world, Midoriya Izuku is what many people would consider “Unique”. You see Izuku had a secret. While he had the power to protect, he would not have anyone to protect being the monster he is.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Bound to You by Magefeathers“ ( T | 5,751 | 1/1 )

There were a few moments of nothing but the static, and Izuku feared that maybe the demon had disconnected after all. But then the voice spoke again, and this time it was flat, listless, without any of the anger and fire Izuku had come to expect from it.

I exist to destroy you, Midoriya Izuku,” he repeated. When he continued his voice was bitter, and almost sad. “I’m bound to you. I am going to steal your breath from you, because that’s the only way for me to be free. Sooner or later, one way or another, I will destroy you.”

[hiatus] 7 Sins by kacchansass ( E | 5,704+ | 1/7 )

Izuku gets invited to a party where he knows his childhood crush and on-again off-again friend would be. He wants to repair their friendship—but before he can get anywhere with Katsuki, some kids from a rival school crash the party. Katsuki, being the leader he is, confronts them outside.

Hours pass, and Katsuki still hasn't returned.

AKA the Jennifer's Body AU nobody asked for.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Icarus by BrightEyesEren ( M | 44,694+ | 5/9 )

“Young man, let me tell you the story of an angel born without wings.”

What's the difference between an angel with wings and an angel without them? Between sin and enjoyment? Between living a life of purity and a life of freedom?

Izuku summons a demon by the name of Katsuki to find out.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Vertigo by warschach ( M | 34,142+ | 5/11 )

“Guardian—you’re an angel? My angel?”

Whoa.

That was offensive as hell coming from a unicorn working an afternoon shift at a coffee shop. At least he didn’t have a damn horn protruding out from his damn skull. Not that Katsuki judged supes on their appearance—magic could do only so much and it took a once massive creature and condensed it into a human suit so some things were bound to be uneven—but this guy, his guard until someone or something decided to do Katsuki a solid and off Izuku, called him out.

(or Katsuki is an unwilling guardian angel, Izuku is his unwilling guard, trouble happens, and maybe they fall in love)

Fight for the fall by Ereri_Garbage ( T | 1,205 | 1/1 )

Angels probably had a worse fate than demons. When an angel aged 16 years they were returned to the heavens to be tested by god and to see if they were fit to live amongst the clouds with the strongest warriors or doomed to live a life on earth, fallen.

The World Is Silent (we are loud) by RedHeadsRock1010 ( T | 77150+ | 17/? )

There is only one Angel and one Demon at a time – born each generation after the previous one dies and destined to keep the balance of the world in a vicious battle of good verses evil until the end of existence.

The current Demon stared at the Angel humming and weaving pink flowers into his own bright green curls. A crown of red roses already sat on the Demon's head.

Yeah, fuck that bullshit.

love black as sin by clairesail ( E | 7,394 | 1/1 )

Kacchan has always been something ethereal to him. Magnificent, beautiful. Someone Midoriya's own mortal hands were not worthy of touching. Little did he know how right that feeling had been.

Only, not in the way he expected.

Fuel for the Fire by EclecticIsMyMiddleName ( E | 12,630+ | 1/13 )

Hell is full of demons, and Bakugo Katsuki is one the most infamous (or should we say, "popular"?). His job is to give the demon fuckers what they want in exchange for their souls. Sure, he enjoys the "perks" of his job as an incubus, but he's never felt anything for his victims.

Until now.

Alternatively Titled: "Izuku Accidentally Summons an Incubus and Learns About Demon Anatomy"

[ Major Character Death ]

Lucky for Me by Daiako (Achrya) ( E | 4,837 | 2/2 )

Izuku, Katsuki's summoned succubus, takes an attack meant for him. Katsuki decides to deal with an unwanted rush of emotion in the only way that makes sense between them.

Kinktober, prompts are wings and rimming.

Broken Horns & Fragile Wings by zuccin ( G | 1,682 | 1/1 )

When Izuku was a child, he met an angel. An adorable angel that lived next door, Bakugou Katsuki. Years passed and Midoriya (or Deku) is sure his angel got even cuter by the time; he's glad they are together.

// In an universe where Angels and Demons live peacefully together, a green haired demon falls in love with an angel.

Broken Angel by Atinyhamster ( M | 56,549| 24/24 )

With his mentor sick and dying, Izuku is left with no choice but to make a deal with a demon. Unknowingly he sets off a chain reaction, starting with a price far greater than he ever imagined. But hell is nothing like he thought and he is left questioning everything he has ever learned before.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Implied/Reference Self-Harm ]

Soft Wings by actualdevil ( T | 1,533 | 1/1 )

As someone already prone to accidents, it was no surprise when Deku took a bad fall during track practice.

(Or, a quirkless AU where everyone has wings for no reason)

"Small, but Pretty and Shit" by SugarRose22 ( G | 3,179 | 1/1 )

Izuku's quite insecure about his wings, but someone he knows actually thinks very differently about them than you would have guessed.

Katsuki is up front with his feelings, as he always is.

The wingfic no one asked for but I'm writing it anyways.

Angel and Stranger by ColourlessZero ( E | 6,478 | 1/1 )

The warrior angel, Bakugou Katsuki, is sent to the mortal realm to slay the demon prince. His travels lead him to ancient ruins in a barren desert and the bright-eyed mortal named Izuku. Desparate to rid himself of the emobodiment of annoyance, Bakugou agrees to teach Izuku a song. The only problem, Izuku is a terrible singer and Bakugou is losing patience fast.

Will he be able to get Izuku to leave before the demon prince's arrival?

Saving You by TarynToffee ( M | 13,089+ | 3/? )

Angels weren't supposed to exist, so what does it mean when Izuku meets a crimson-eyed angel with an explosive personality in his bedroom who says he's there to save him and his life suddenly shifts and not for the better?

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Saudade by zuccin ( G | 1,972 | 1/1 )

When a plague that only affects demons reaches the north, Katsuki is called to help control it with his healing abilities. The demon Midoriya can understand why, but still, he still misses his angel.

Just three weeks, just three weeks and he'll see his angel, Katsuki, again.

'Twas You Who Wounded the Pure by WhenJoshIsJoseph ( T | 1,381 | 1/? )

When Bakugou Katsuki and Midoriya Izuku, two firefighters, die saving people in a fire, they arrive in the afterlife and are assigned to Heaven and Hell - but it doesn't work the way everyone expects it to. A mix up in the records proclaims Bakugou an angel and Midoriya demon...

...Only, it was meant to be the other way around.

Now, Bakugou must race against time and prevent Midoriya from becoming a full fledged demon if he's ever to save him, and in order to that, he needs to find out what Midoriya held against him when he was alive.

Feelings were never meant to come into it.

___

Or, Bakugou is the awkward angel, and Midoriya is surprisngly good at being demonic.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Tainted Love by FireFoxFireFlies ( E | 2,416 | 1/1 )

Izuku falls for a fellow angel and is cast out of heaven for this crime. He soon finds himself in the arms of a demon who "consoles" him.

[ Major Character Death | Implied/Referenced Suicide ]

Zombies

365 Days Without Incident by The Emerald Eyed Boy (MissingOneEye) ( Not Rated | 18,703+ | 18/? )

On October 29th, last year, Izuku Midoriya was killed in a car accident.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death ]

Love That's Left Behind by ploThief ( T | 1,439 | 1/1 )

The trio flinch when they hear the tale-tell guttural moan of hungry zombies. Two new zombies have heard the commotion. One looks savage, face twisted forever in an angry scowl. The other is plainer, moving with a slight limp. The two are bloodied and dirty, but in much better condition than most zombies they cross. Newly turned, Ochaco’s mind supplies. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

[ Major Character Death ]

Footprints in a Reddened Sky by Hollowed_Soul ( T | 6,577+ | 4/? )

Izuku Midoriya is quirkless, he moved towns due to excessive bullying at previous schools. Izuku has never met Bakugou nor All Might and Bakugou is in UA along with the others. It seems pretty normal. Except it's a zombie apocalypse and Midoriya has been turned to one of them.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

breathe ( E | 2,336 | 1/3 )

For most, the zombie apocalypse was something they had started out with. For others, they were born in it. Izuku Midoriya was the unlucky one out of many to be born inside of one.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death ]

Yokai/Spirits/Kitsune

Hearts of Men and Yokai by GreyDayMoon ( M | 53,598 | 27/? )

Katsuki was relaxing in the forest simply enjoying his peaceful world when a small six year old green haired incarnation of trouble came across him. Even worse, the kid seemed to be able to see yokai. Now fully annoyed but also intrigued, watch Katsuki interact with the child.

OR: An AU inspired by Natsume and the Book of Friends and Kamisama Kiss

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Nagas/Dragons

In the Eye of the Storm by CheshireButton ( M | 122,611+ | 13/? )

Izuku Midoriya is a scientific prodigy seeking a cure for a rapidly spreading neurodegenerative disease. A potential clue in his research points to a fabled island, guarded by an eternal storm from which no travelers have ever returned. He navigates through the hurricane and discovers an island that is anything but uninhabited. He must adapt to survive against the natives who place intruders in three categories: warriors, mates, or meat.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

The Offering by Bakuholic ( T | 7,032+ | 4/? )

Every year, an offering is given to the dragon race as a trade off for the dragons' protection. This year, Izuku Midoriya is the human offering.

He trembles at the very thought of his death being by the claws of a dragon. However, his expectations of his future seem to turn when an ash blonde alpha dragon begins to grow fond of him and adds him to his hoard of treasure.

(I"m not good at summaries it seems)

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Deku's Dumb Dragon by Lochan10 ( M | 9056+ | 4/? )

Midoriya meets a dragon at the age of 4, and ends of being best friends with the dragon for years. But one day Midoriyas Royal friend, Prince Todorki, Uraraka, and Knight Iida come across Midoriya and the dragon they have heard about but never met per Midoriyas request only to realize it was the Barbarian Dragon King their friend had been friends with for years.

And Midoriya didn't even know himself that he's best friend with a king. The Barbarian Dragon King himself no less. So what happens when he realizes the truth?

A fluffy story of Bakugou secretly pinning after Midoriya for years only to finally do something about it when his identity is revealed by the half and half bastard.

This is Yuuei by Logsnake ( T | 24,509 | 13/13 )

This is Yuuei. We have hunting, fishing, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problem are the pests. You see, while most places have mice or mosquitos, we have… dragons.

(Or the first How to Train Your Dragon but with Izuku as Hiccup and Katsuki as Toothless)

Hoarding Treasure by Swifty_Heart ( M | 10,234+ | 2/? )

Humans are becoming extinct, plan and simple, no one knows why but fifty years ago the sky and earth suddenly opened and dragons appeared soaring the sky and climbing out of the ground, they will come in a scoop up a single random human and then take off, they won't destroy anything or take anything else just one single human and leave...its lead to a strange sort of peace.

Strange Encounters by kacchansass ( E | 3,273 | 1/1 )

Midoriya Izuku is the General of his people, the dragon shifters known as the Ryuujin. His main task as an alpha warrior is to safeguard his people. Bakugou Katsuki is an explorer set out with the great task of gathering knowledge about people that are scorned from the rest of the mainland.

Two worlds collide, for better or worse.

[ Rape/Non-Con ]

Walking in the night sky by Daiako (Achrya) ( M | 5,414+ | 3/? )

Bakugou is your typical mildmannered dragon shifter and biker, turned out from his own world and forced to live in the human one. Nothing special about him at all. He's content to move from backwater town to backwater town, keeping to himself, and making no attachments. At least, he was until he met Izuku, a waiter too cute for his own good, in a strange town that refuses to let him leave...

Mixed Supernatural Elements

Hard to Say by halcyonwhispers ( T | 8,390+ | 2/? )

Izuku is a Halfling, born after his faerie father spirited away his mom and then left her behind. Never quite fitting in with the humans or any of the supernatural beings in his small town, Izuku hoped that going to a diverse college in the big city will help him finally make friends.

Katsuki’s family has been powerful witches for generations, and he’s no different. Talented and a proclaimed genius to boot, he knew he shouldn’t waste his time on this dumbass (disgustingly cute) half-blood.

Or,

two idiots fall in love and don’t get that the other’s awkward cues are just a result of romantic tension.

Sick Like Animals by osakakitty ( E | 3,848 | 1/1 )

Whenever Katsuki Bakugo is struck by his seasonal heat, Izuku Midoriya agrees to help him until it ends. He takes Bakugo into his care, providing him with the stimulation he needs. One morning, after a night of light sex, Bakugounfortunately finds his heat unquenched.

Fantasy AU in which Katsuki Bakugo is half-beast, and Izuku Midoriya is an alchemist in-training. They both have a mutual understanding and need and for each other. Sex ensues.

Lucky for you by Daiako (Achrya) ( E | 3,603 | 1/1 )

Katsuki is a summoner, a damn good one. Which makes accidently calling forth a timid Incubus and ending up bonded to him all the more infuriating. It only gets worse when he realizes he can feel the demons emotions and that it's is very very hungry. The only way to quiet the bond is satisfy the demon’s needs and complete the spell.

For Kinktober, prompts are incubus and bonds

The Bonds that Bind Us by DMMegsie ( E | 44,568+ | 7/? )

Travelling with his trading caravan, Izuku is on his way home when they stumble across an already heated battle in the middle of an open field in the dead of night. Being mistaken as part of attacking party, Izuku finds himself fighting off the fabled Demon King of the Mountains of Fire.

However, during the battle, Izuku breaks a necklace on the Demon King that held an unspoken promise from his mother from long ago, which changes everything.

Nothing ever as it seems, nor is it simple. As an omega of elven descent, Izuku has a lot to learn about the greater world and himself. The same could be said of the half dragon lord of the mountain.

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Rape/Non-Con ]

all gifted by fitzefitcher ( T | 9,129+ |  4/?)

The thing about gifts is that they're meant to be given, they're meant to be shared; so Izuku will take his gifts, so freely given to him, and share them with all he holds dear.

Izuku is born without any gifts, as his kind often are, to a witch mother and salamander father, on one sweltering night in July.

[ Abuse | Bullying | Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

The Arsonist vs The Tree by Annoying_Tourist ( M | 2,979+ | 1/? )

The great dragon Katsuki had spent the past few centuries cultivating his reputation as the fearless ‘Beast of the Western Lands’. Everywhere he goes, he leaves a trail of fire and ash in his wake. But soon his life of treasure hoarding and raiding villages doesn’t seem as fulfilling as it used to be. Was it time for him to settle down, make himself a permanent home and start living a more peaceful and humble life?

Naturally, Katsuki decided that the ‘next step’ in his life was to build himself a grand temple next to Musutafu, the biggest village in the Western Lands. The humans would learn to worship him eventually.

The tree spirit Izuku- an actual deity and self-proclaimed protector of Musutafu- takes issue with this.

Reparations by Merrywetherweather ( M | 37,459+ | 15/? )

When Izuku was a child, he was told to never enter the woods. But being in possession of the shortest attention span a four year old is capable of, he ignores his mother's warnings and stumbles after a very pretty butterfly. What he finds, instead, is a friend. His first and only friend.

Izuku is in his twenties now and he no longer runs to meet with the childhood friend who pushed him away so long ago. His mother and their village are on edge because he's way past his presenting years and he still hasn't had his first heat. He's defective. An omega who can't present can't find a mate or have kids, not like he's ever been inclined to find someone or have children. After leaving the confines of his small minded human village and wandering out into the woods once again, in search of a better life, that all changes when he runs into the one person he hoped to meet but never thought he'd see again.

Bonds Don't Break by DeKatsu ( T | 1,360 | 1/1 )

Katsuki catches an unfamiliar scent in his territory and decides to hunt it down. He doesn't expect to find Deku at the end of the trail.

You, who didn't listen by Preintice  ( E | 7,601+ | 1/4 )

Time always was a blurry conception made by humans. It implied a race against time. It implied choices and pressure. However for those whose Time had no impact on, it felt like languorous torture. Where you try to find an objective of your own, either be it dying or playing, but grow quickly bored from it.

Katsuki (to become Bakugo) was in search for recognition, power and chaos.

Deku (to become Izuku Midoriya) was in search for redemption, acceptance and comprehension.

And together, they fell.

[ Graphic depictions of violence | Major Character Death ]

Belonging by MochiUs ( M | 2,525+ | 1/3 )

A ghost and a werewolf. An unlikely pair. They were on the search for the answer to their problems, but they gained something more along the way.

[Graphic Depictions Of Violence]

An Old Church Ground by KingHugin ( Not rated | 6,526 | 1/1)

Ever heard the legend of the Grim?

They say it’s a large black dog, an omen of death. That if you’re unfortunate enough to ever catch a glimpse of one. Then well… you never really live to tell the tale.

That’s only one of the legends and not the one of this story, though I guess it still ends in death.

 Or a story where Katsuki is the Grim of an old church ground, and Izuku is… well he’s something else.

[ Major Character Death ]

An Unlikely Pair by bkdkwritingsdump ( T | 1,751 | 1/1 )

Katsuki is a fire wizard stuck with a life-magic familiar whom he thinks is utterly useless to him. During a battle with a particularly nasty demon, though, Izuku might just prove his worth.

The Monster That Stole My Heart by Merrywetherweather ( T | 4,855 | 1/1 )

Katsuki's been stalking this specter for the past week as it's been infringing on his territory. After finally engaging with it, he learns that Deku's been squatting in the graveyard for almost a month.

Katsuki makes it his business to help this ghost move on and get gone. Deku and him will need the help of Uraraka, the witch, and the vampire, Todoroki, if they want to try and fix whatever made Deku a mostly incorporeal spirit.

A little oneshot I thought up and wrote for Halloween.

Werewolf in The Witch's Forest by Unoutan ( T | 6,035 | 1/1 )

The sky is blue, the air is chilly and the leaves are falling all around the forest, but a wolf with pale fur is close to death at Izuku's feet...and the witch-in-training, collecting his herbs alone amongst the trees, is the only one who can help.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

Day of the Dead by JunNoAce ( E | 10,676 | 1/1 )

There was no worse feeling than believing that you were to weak to protect the person you held most precious to you and living out your life without them.

Imagine Bakugou Katsuki's shock when he finds his Deku again half a century after his murder jumping into his arms.

.... It's a romantic tragedy with porn. Lol!

[ Graphic Depictions of Violence | Major Character Death ]

Puppy Love by kacchansass ( G | 3,286 | 1/1 )

Bakugou Katsuki has a crush on the idiot spirit Midoriya Izuku he's soulbound to protect. He thought that his trial to become a full fledged Guardian Werewolf was the hardest thing he'd ever faced, but he may have spoken too soon.

Series Part 2 of Bound Together

Heart Keeper by Quirkyasfok ( Not Rated | 1,078 | 1/1 )

Katsuki had never considered being a Heart Keeper as part of his future, but then again, he also never thought Izuku Midoriya of all people would kill himself.

[ Implied/Referenced Suicide ]

Kaleidoscope by Disney_Princess_Izuku ( T | 5,141 | 1/1 )

Izuku is a witch. He just needs to find his familiar. Enter a boy that is a wolf, and a wolf that is a boy - with wild red eyes and sharp smiles.

And Izuku thinks:

"Oh, it's him."

Smoke and Mirrors by Daiako (Achrya) ( M | 5,160+ | 2/? )

Hundreds of years ago All Might, the last of the once great Celestial race, used his divine sword and all his power to seal the necromancer known as Father, and all his undead minions, in Unchanging Deadlands. Peace followed and All Might, and his broken sword, faded into legend.

But all peace eventually ends and, as undead hoards and monsters of nightmare crawl forth from the barren islands to the south, a group sets out from the north in search of the broken sword to once again seal the threats away. Lead by Demon Prince Todoroki and Dragon Prince Bakugou they’re the best their people have to offer, ready to lay down their lives to stem the tide of darkness.

And then there is Izuku, a mild mannered apothecary, devoid of magic, who has never learned not to touch whispering objects of power.

[ Major Character Death | Graphic Depictions of Violence ]

torn fur, blunt teeth by SageMasterofSass ( E | 29,816 | 11/15 )

After eight months of being collared, Izuku is finally free. But a dark, stormy city is no place for a lonely shapeshifter on the run.

[ Past Rape/Noncon ]

[siriuslyblack12]

chapter 2

Sirius stood on the blocks, heart beating fast, legs threatening to give out at any moment. His arms gripped the block tighter, steadying his nerves as he let out a long breath. Thoughts spiralled chaotically in his head, impossible to ignore as they built in strength and severity.

 Is my cap on tight enough?

Don’t go too soon.

Don’t go too late.

I have to win. Dad’ll go mad if I don’t win.

I have to make him proud.

 I don’t give a shit whether I make him proud or not.

 “Mr Black,”

 Don’t breathe on breakout.

Don’t breathe at all.

You need to get a good time.

 “Mr Black,”

 Winning is everything.

But be a good loser.

 “Mr Black,” the distant voice was getting louder and louder.

 You know what happens when you lose.

 “Mr Black, I asked you a question! You could at least pretend to be paying attention.” Professor McGonagall scolded, bringing his attention back to the classroom. He wasn’t at the pool, rather in an English classroom, his almost empty page of notes lying in front of him.

 “I’m sorry, Professor. Won’t happen again.” He said shyly, not daring to meet her eyes.

 School had only started a couple of days ago and Sirius already felt as if he was suffocating. Their professors really weren’t holding back this year, piling up homework and lectures and revision to the point where the student’s backs ached with the pressure. Atop of all of that, social lives and media presences took a lot to keep afloat, as well as sport and fitness. Sport seemed to take up 90 percent of Sirius’s current brain capacity, which was now seeming to be a problem.

 English was by far his favourite subject, being the only one that he shared with all 3 of his closest friends. He looked over at James only to see him staring adoringly at the back of Lily’s red head, chin on his hands. With a roll of his eyes, he turned the other way to meet the sight of Peter sneaking snacks out of his bag, handing a few crisps to Remus under the desk. At least he was eating.

 The lesson came to an end with the sharp sound of the bell, and Sirius collected his things as quickly and quietly as possible, heading for the door to finally sort through the anxieties swirling in his head; until he heard an old voice call out, “Mr Black, can I speak to you for a moment?”

 Shit, this was exactly what he didn’t need.

Defeated and ashamed, Sirius was surprised as his eyes met a kind looking smile and a careful gesture to take a seat. His mind reeled in confusion, but he did what was asked of him anyway. McGonagall cleared her throat and began to speak.

 “Is everything alright?” Three words, simple yet powerful, and definitely out of the ordinary. He had no idea how to answer that, not exactly knowing where his boundaries were and how much he could say. He may have been one to overshare on social media, but he was certainly not one to spill his emotions wholeheartedly.

 “Never better, Minnie.”

 “It sure doesn’t seem like it, Mr Black. I remind you that this is a safe space.”

 Sirius looked down at his hands, wrapped in tight fists with his knuckles turning white with the effort. The walls suddenly felt as if hey were closing in on him, his heart rate picking up and foot tapping a rhythm on the floor.

 “I’m just finding it hard to concentrate, that’s all.” He said defensively. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

 McGonagall nodded glumly. This situation was uncomfortable to say the least. Sirius glanced back at the door of the room, where he could have sworn he saw Remus looking in through the window before hurrying away awkwardly. That boy was a mystery, which only drew Sirius further to him.

 “You know Sirius,” his professor never called him by his first name. “Help is always given to those who ask for it.”

  ~~

  “Please Moony,”

 “No.”

 “I’m begging you!”

 “No, Sirius.”

 “Why not? It’ll be fun, I promise. I really need it.”

 Sirius really was like an excited puppy, Remus thought to himself. He’d just been relaxing in the library, catching up on some reading and enjoying the quiet lull in the day before he was quite rudely interrupted by the one and only trade of Hogwarts High. He supposed he didn’t mind it, given that he was always happy for Sirius’s company – no matter the circumstances. However, on this occasion he was less willing to participate in what the other had planned, that being tutoring him.

 Remus let his mind wonder for a few moments, imagining what it would be like to be alone with Sirius, bonding over books and equation. Now that he thought about, it sounded stupid, but that wasn’t going to stop him.

 “Why are you asking me, Pads? Why not one of the girls?” He suggested thoughtfully. “I’m sure there are plenty of people who would be better than me.”

 “I’m calling bullshit, because you my friend are the smartest person I know.”

 Remus slumped back into his chair, his heart skipping a beat. He desperately wanted to say yes, to help him out and be a good friend. He knew that Sirius hated studying, so asking for the blue-eyed boy to help him with that must have been a challenge for him. He also knew that he needed to exercise at least some self-control. Maybe tutoring Sirius would be an excellent idea, a chance to do a good deed and spend some quality time boding with his crush at the same time, without it being too suspicious.

 Do you know how pathetic you sound?

 He watched as the boy in question looked down towards the floor, one hand running through his hair which Remus had quickly learned was a nervous habit of his. This wasn’t going to end well, nothing ever ended well for him. Rising to stand on two weak legs, he swept his things that had been spread over the table into his bag and slung it over his shoulder with as much swagger as he could muster. He looked back to see that Sirius’s eyes were trained on him, silently reading the room and atmosphere.

 “Tomorrow lunch, 12:30, in the library. Don’t you dare be late.”

 Remus walked briskly away, not waiting see Sirius’s reaction and biting back a wide smile.

 ~~

 Turns out that tutoring Sirius Black was not the gentle, romantic, flirt-fest he thought it would be, and was in fact turning out to be a lost cause. The boy had a lot of trouble recalling metaphors, understanding Shakespeare and the like, frustrating Remus with basically everything he said. Often times he would zone out, picking at a loose thread on his t-shirt or twirling a piece of hair through his fingers, and even more likely were his frankly stupid remarks that were only made out of his compulsive need to be the funniest in the room. The most stupid thing about them is that they were actually funny, and Remus couldn’t always contain his laughter.

 “Pads, stop, stop, no,” He warned. “You cannot compare Romeo and Juliet to fucking Spider-Man and MJ.”

 “What? Why not? It fits, that’s all that matters, right? Sirius reasoned, pen between his teeth.

 “You have to get rid of that. The whole paragraph would probably be best, so it still makes sense.”

 “But that’s my best one! If you didn’t like that then you’re definitely not gonna like the next few.”

 Remus buried his face in hands, as Sirius took the essay and out of his hands and ripped it right in half. Drama queen was the only thing he thought to think but a closer look at the other’s face told a different story. “You didn’t have to do that.” Remus said softly.

 Sirius didn’t reply, instead opening his notebook and flipping through to find a blank page and start again. The remnants of drawings and doodles did not go unnoticed, some of which were surprisingly good. He wasn’t taking art this year, but by the looks of the pages in front of him, he should be. Sirius got back to work quickly, scribbling none sense that wouldn’t do him any favours in front of his teachers.

 “C’mon, you can do better than that. Let me help you.” Remus pried the pen from his hand and pushed the textbook towards him. “And no more drama.”

 “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Sirius added with an enthusiastic wink that made him swoon and squirm in his seat.

 The table was subdued for the next few minutes, Remus’s intelligence never failing to impress Sirius, but this was more due to the fact that he shared practically none of the same wit. He wasn’t actually as clueless as he had previously made himself out to be, but that didn’t keep him from acting like it. Perhaps some people’s smarts were more suited to other areas: those areas not exactly helping Sirius’s grades. Remus helping him out was just an extra bonus, or so he told himself.

 Long hair fell into his eyes as Sirius leaned over Remus’s shoulder, too close for comfort, inspecting what he was pointing to and explaining. Something about themes that even Remus was quickly forgetting as the boy by his shoulder got closer.

 His trance was broken as the bell rang, penetrating through his ears, earning a laugh out of Sirius as he jumped slightly.

 “Well, moony, I best get going,” he said briskly. “Maybe we could do this again sometime, eh?”

 “Yeah, sure, yeah” Remus stumbled exasperatedly, a blush forming on his cheeks that was often present these days. “Whenever you need me.”

 It was an authentic moment, sweet and short, but meaningful nonetheless. Until…

 “Padfoot! Moony! Get over here, Peter’s trying to arm wrestle Marlene.” James. Always one to ruin it.

 “Poor thing, why the hell would he?” Sirius laughed, rushing to follow him. “Moons, you coming?”

 Remus smiled. “You go ahead, I’ve got my own work to catch up on.”

 “Are you sure?”

 “Yeah, I’m sick of you anyway.” He added sarcastically, earning another deep laugh.

 ~~

 They continued to have these study sessions, Sirius becoming alarmingly enthusiastic about what would once have kept him far away and out of reach. It was a strange change in the groups’ dynamic, as where Remus and Lily would disappear of to the library, or a classroom to interrogate professors about the work, Sirius now trailed along with them. The red-headed girl had at first raised her eyebrows, or squinted her eyes suspiciously, but had now acclimated nicely. But that didn’t stop her from forming her own theories about what was going on with Remus and Sirius.

 This also had the unexpected effect of getting James Potter of all people in the library for what must have been the first time in his life. Seeing Sirius so confident surrounded by nerdy things like books and papers had been the push he needed to follow him and shamelessly flirt with Lily. Remus noted the way she tucked her hair behind her ears and fiddled with her bracelets whenever James was around.

 At this current moment, the four of them were hard at work on different projects, making mindless small talk as they grew increasingly bored. Sirius whispered something to James, obviously amusing as they burst into fits of laughter.

 “Do you two ever shut up?” Lily said, fighting her own amusement.

 “Lily, my dear,” she rolled her eyes. “That would take the fun out of it!”

 More comments were exchanged, mainly between Lily and James, as Remus found himself unable to form any words of his own in the presence of Sirius.

 Stop it. If you fall too deep you won’t be able to swim back up.

 Maybe I don’t want to swim back up anymore.

 “Hey, moons, what do you think about this?” Sirius questioned happily, thrusting a sketchbook towards him. To say it was absolutely beautiful would be an understatement, Remus thought as he studied what was in front of him. It was a detailed drawing, all in coloured pencil, of a field at sunset. The outline of a forest coated in orange and pink shades covered the page and his eyes were drawn to the silhouette of a rabbit, burying itself a hole in the grass.

 “I’ve been trying my hand at art, my dad hates it.” He said, directed only at Remus. “I know you saw some drawings the other day and thought you’d like it.”

 “I-, Sirius this is amazing.” He gushed, until Lily saw what he was looking at and joined on his shock.

 “Where have you been hiding all this talent? Are you serious?!” She squealed.

 “Nah, I’m Sirius. You know that.” The familiar joke didn’t exactly catch anyone off-guard.

 Remus’s mind went to what he’d said about his father, and he began to wonder the exact meaning. He only knew what everyone knew about Sirius’s home life: it was shit and he didn’t like to talk about it. He’d speculated that his parents were quite controlling, but the details were unknown. James hadn’t even been informed.

 He secretly hoped that perhaps one day he would know, and he would be able to help Sirius through whatever was going on, but he would wait until the other boy was ready. In the meantime he supposed he would do whatever he could, whilst making sure his secret didn’t show itself.

 He’s your friend. That’s all.

 But when a friend is hurting, you should put in a little more effort.

[gladuisnocturno]

It all started at First Aid Class

Let me paint you a picture and tell me if it sounds familiar. Quirky girl meets a dorky boy. The two hit it off almost immediately. A girl with troubles making friends and a boy trying too hard to be liked, seemingly out of nowhere encountered each other…and all of those insecurities just banished. It just felt natural, it was as if they had known each other since the beginning. They shared laughs, they shared dreams and over time, they began to share more and more. What drove them, what scared them, what gave them guilt and what gave them hope and in every step of their journey, no matter what the world threw at them, they were always there for each other. A simple meeting built a bond that couldn't be broken. It just felt right.

It's been a few years since that encounter, but the spark of that friendship only grew larger. Jaune and Ruby had been through a lot. They had their victories, their challenges…and their losses, but they faced it all together.

Their journey now took them to Atlas Academy, a place of wonders and distrust, but somewhere that reminded them of their old home at Beacon. Teams RWBY and JNPR had fought through Grimm, terrorists, and villains, but after all of their adventures, they now found themselves with a little bit of time for themselves.

General Ironwood had granted them the title of Huntsmen and with it, the teams had finally reached what they had worked so hard to become, but of course, the circumstances meant that they were still a bit inexperienced. Fortunately, the General gave them free leeway to make use of Atlas Academy's resources to further their growth as true Huntsmen. Students, teachers, facilities, and of course classes. They would have been crazy not to take the opportunity…then again, something happened at a certain class…something that made things…a bit awkward for everyone.

"Yang, for the love of the gods! Turn down the music!" Weiss yelled. As usual, she was trying to focus on her studies, she had taken a few too many supplementary classes, something that of course pleased her…yeah, I don't get either, but neither did Yang. Her blonde teammate kept on dancing in their dorm.

"Come on! Throw those books away and have some fun for once, Weiss!".

"Books are fun! How dare you?!".

And thus, another argument, but as usual, Blake found herself having to mediate between the two.

"She is…kind of right, Yang…." Blake said rather nervously, hiding her shame behind her book.

Yang and Blake had been developing a special bond lately, so as soon as she heard that, Yang responded with awkward shock, "Oh!..I…I thought you were enjoying it…I'm sorry..".

"No! No! I was! It's just that…maybe you can turn the volume down just a little?" Her cat ears retracted as she quickly tried to cheer Yang up. "It's fine! Really! Maybe we can read later!"

"No, if it's bothering you…"

"Is not! Really! I promis…"

"UGH! Just kiss already!" Weiss rolled her eyes, getting third wheeled was becoming a recurring thing in their spared time and at this point, she just wanted them to get it over with.

"WHAT?!".

"WE-WE WERENT GOING TO…"

"Fine! Then don't! whatever. Just, turn down the volume. I don't want to get distracted with neither your music nor your 'will they, wont they' routine". Weiss said without taking her gaze from her books, leaving Yang and Blake to fluster and murmur in embarrassment.

Blake crawled to her bed and hid once again in her book, but Yang was a notoriously sore loser. Her embarrassment however only let her mumble her snappy comeback, "….At least I have a will they wont….".

"AH! FORGET IT! Where is Ruby?! I can't deal with the two of you alone!". Weiss, said even more frustrated. She would have been lying if that comment didn't sting though.

"She should still be in her first aid class, right?" Blake responded.

"Oh yeah, that started today".

Weiss took a deep breath to calm her nerves, but her frustration still lingered…if only she knew it was going to get worse. " Sigh.  Why she even took that anyways?".

"Why else do you think? Jaune asked her to take it with him".

"Seriously?! The guy healed me from a stab wound with his semblance and he needs first aid classes?".

"Nora said he didn't want to rely on his semblance though. Honestly, I can relate to that". Yang responded, she completely understood where he was coming from. She had to learn that her semblance, while useful, should not be more than a tool for the right moments.

Jaune himself had been working towards becoming a good guardian, protecting his loved ones and the people that needed him was the path he chose, so learning first aid was just a part of his formation. Ruby in turn was more used to protecting by attacking, she was a prodigy in combat, and dealing with threats was her way of guarding those in need, however, knowing how to treat a wound was a useful skill that she wanted to learn as well.

"Fine. Then I'll go to the library. You two have fun…but not too much…".

"WEISS!" Blake yelled in embarrassment while Yang just turned red.

Weiss chuckled a bit, "You two are adorable" she said to herself as she opened the door. To everyone's surprise, a twister of roses trampled everything in the room, throwing Weiss and Yang to the floor and leaving the room full of petals. The red whirlwind rushed to the top bed bunk and hid under the sheets.

"RUBY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!". Weiss yelled, surprised, a bit angry at the sudden rose storm that hit her in the face but also genuinely worried for her best friend.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!". Ruby yelled before hiding her face against her pillow.

Yang, Blake, and Weiss all jumped at the scene, all concerned. It wasn't usual for Ruby to act this way.

"Rubes! What happened?" Yang asked her little sister, climbing to her side trying to console her.

"…issed me….".

"What?".

Ruby turned her face away from the pillow a little. She had some tears in her eyes and her blushing face was redder than her hood. "Jaune kissed me…".

Yang froze. Her eyes wide and an awkward and confused smile covered her face. She slowly climbed down and walked backward, still facing her sister and still with that weird smile on her face.

"What did she say?" Blake asked.

"Jaune…kissed her….".

"Jaune kissed her?".

"Yeah…"

The room went silent for a minute. Blake served water to her friends and the three of them cleared their throats. Once refreshed, they took a deep breath and responded in the most naturally and calmly way possible.

"….JAUNE KISSED YOU!?".

"SHUT UP! DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD!"

Ruby kept on hugging her pillow as tightly as possible, trying to shield herself from the embarrassment, but her older sister didn't exactly make things easy for her.

Yang picked her up as if she was still a 5-year-old, hugging her and swinging her around with joy, "You had your first kiss! I'm so proud of you!".

"Yang! Let me go!" Ruby whined, freeing herself from her sister's hug with a temper tantrum.

"But this is so cute!".

"Shouldn't you be upset? I mean, Jaune just took advantage of your little sister!" Blake argued, but Yang just kept a joyful smile.

"Well, yeah, if it was any other person I would be pissed. But this is Jaune we are talking about. I mean, I once saw him apologize to a bunch of baby spiders for killing their mom, he was crying the entire time and cried, even more, when the baby spiders crawled in his mouth". Yang responded chuckling with a big smile.

Weiss was curious. She had some unpleasant times with Jaune back at Beacon. At the time she sure would have bought that he would be the kind of guy to steal a kiss from a girl…but that was a long time ago. Jaune wasn't the sort of person she once thought he was. He had grown a lot since then, he left those habits behind him and Weiss knew perfectly well that Yang was right, he cared a lot about Ruby and would never take advantage of her.

"Here" Weiss told her partner before passing her a glass of water that Ruby instantly drank entirely. "Better?".

"…Mhm".

"Good. Now, tell us what happened".

Ruby took a deep breath. "It-It all started at first-aid class…".

Classes at Atlas Academy normally were given in large auditoriums full of students listening to a conference from one of the many teachers of the academy. However, the first aid class was a more private and personal course. It was an elective, students had the option to take the class or chose another and since this wasn't a particularly exciting course, not many took it. Still, Jaune was very intimidated by the group of around 12 students sitting around him.

"Come on, where are you? Please don't leave me alone here…" He kept saying to himself, begging for his friend to finally arrive.

The door was opened but to Jaune's misfortune, it wasn't who he wanted it to be. Instead, it was the teacher in charge of that morning's class.

"Good morning students. Please have a sit" Winter Schnee walked with elegance and authority everywhere she went. "I'm afraid Mrs. Silva is undisposed today. As such, I've been assigned to substitute her. For those who don't know me, I am Special Agent Winter Schnee. Today we will go over basic first aid techniques following the training guides of the Atl…"

The sound of the door slamming open was more than enough to throw Winter off her tracks and of course, the entire classroom quickly turned towards the sound.

"IM HERE! I made it in….time…".

Jaune just chuckled awkwardly, seeing how Ruby tried her best to keep her cool as she walked down to her seat.

"Ms. Rose, you are late".

"I'm sorry, Winter! Nora challenged me to a waffle eating contest and I could have beaten her if only…".

"Just take a seat! And it's Ms. Schnee".

"Right, sorry. Ms. Schnee. Hehe" She said, she was clearly a bit embarrassed but as soon as she sat next to Jaune, that embarrassment didn't matter at all. She was just happy to see him and so was he of seeing her.

"I was totally gonna win though", She whispered to Jaune who immediately chuckled.

"Against, Nora? Please, I've seen her eat a full pie in less than a minute".

"Oh, so you are a man of low faith, I see! I'll show you!".

"She had already eaten a full cake and a milkshake".

"Ok, then maybe I was 5 waffles behind, but the match didn't end so if you think about it…"

Two white summoned Nervermores flew at high speed and landed on their heads, pecking them slightly.

"Ow! OW!".

"Ow! That hurts!".

"Rose! Arc! May I remind you; you are in the middle of a class!?".

"Sorry, Ms. Schnee…". The two said with shameful voices but as soon as Winter turned to her board, Jaune and Ruby just took a quick look at each other and chuckled at the sight of the other's smile.

The class continued as Winter went over multiple techniques of first aid in a variety of situations. Jaune and Ruby took the class seriously for the most part, but of course, there were moments in which neither could avoid just goof around with the other. Whether it was Jaune throwing small paper balls at her or Ruby making funny drawings of him, the two were occasionally caught by the serious gaze of their teacher but neither could stop having fun with the other, it was just the way they were.

It had been so long since the two got to have some time to breathe and just enjoy each other's company. Ever since the Fall…it was rare to see either smile. Jaune was haunted by the sorrow of losing Pyrrha that night, while Ruby was filled with guilt for not having been able to save her and for dragging Jaune in this mission, knowing full well how much he was suffering.

The journey hadn't been easy. The weight of the world resting on their shoulders, it was unbearable at times. Ruby in particular tended to push through her doubts and sorrow, but of course, she had her limits. Some nights she would wake up sweating and with tears in her eyes, desperately wiping them out before someone noticed it. Everyone relied on her to continue going, which she did gladly, but she would be lying if she said it didn't affect her at times…but then, there were moments like this one. Moments in which she could forget for a moment all the pressure of the world and just enjoy herself. She enjoyed just letting loose with her friends, her team, her family. And of all those people, there was one she just enjoyed hanging around the most. Jaune was always there for her when she was in doubt when she needed help and especially when she needed someone to smile at her, Jaune was always there.

Jaune began his journey without knowing what even meant to be a true hero. He was put in a position of responsibility that he never thought he would be able to handle. He worked to better himself, he learned through many mistakes, and eventually…his fears became true…he failed and people got hurt because of him. The Fall of Beacon left a dark void in his heart. To say he had been in a dark place would be an understatement…and yet, here he was, with a smile once again. Ruby had always been there for him. When he had doubts, she was the first one to inspire him. When the world told him to stop trying, Ruby was the one who inspired him to keep going. The moment he began to fall into that dark self-hating place, Ruby was always there brightening his day. She shared a laugh with him, she shared her tears with him and he in turn did the same.

Friends until the end. It was amazing how a bond that strong was born from a simple meeting….It just felt right.

"I really thought you were leaving me alone here".

"Pff. Have I ever let you down? Plus, I don't know why you were so scared".

"We are in a room full of people I've never seen in my life. What if I had to talk to one of them?!".

"So? You did that with me when we met and had no issue".

"Yeah, but you are special".

"Eh?...".

Jaune's face turned red and without noticing he started sweating a little. Special? He just called her special? Of course, she was special to him but up to that point, he had never outright said it. He began to panic a little, afraid that he had accidentally said something embarrassing.

Unbeknown to him, Ruby's mind did linger on that word for a moment. Special? He just called her special? What did that mean? What was is it special about her? Why did he think she was special? Special how?...Did she want him to think she was special? All questions that rushed Ruby's head as fast as a bullet train.

Jaune began to stutter "I-I mean. Not special…well, yeah, when I first saw you there was something special about…Well, no, I mean…".

Neither could hide their blushes and the two just wished the world ended right there and then to end the embarrassing conversation. They were never as relieved as the moment the white Nevermores hit them on the head again.

"ROSE! ARC! That's enough! The two of you should be ashamed", she had no idea how right she was. "You two are licensed huntsmen now and are here just behaving like children! Instead of acting like fools maybe you could make yourselves useful. Stand up and come down here".

Jaune and Ruby complied, still a bit uncomfortable with their heads down in shame. They stood in front of the class as Winter began to give them instructions.

"Ms. Rose, please lay on you back. Mr. Arc, please kneel next to her".

The two of them did as told. Having all those eyes staring at them just made the entire experience more and more awkward by the minute. But the moment Ruby laid on her back, she got a bit of a confidence boost since she couldn't really see the audience. This gave her an idea.

"Hey, Jaune. Are you scared?".

"I wanna die!".

"Come on. We have been through worse. Don't worry, just look at me and ignore the audience. Trust me".

Look at her? After what he said earlier? Even with his eyes closed, he felt embarrassed just being near her. But seeing the audience staring and judging him freaked him out more. Something that Ruby said gave him confidence though. She asked him to trust her and there was no one in the world he trusted more than her.

Jaune took his eyes away from the audience and centered them on Ruby…and nothing else mattered. She just kept smiling and humming and all his anxiety slowly banished. She then began to make funny faces and he couldn't help but chuckle a little. She truly was special to him.

"Ok, class. This is a demonstration of assisted artificial respiration. Mr. Arc if you may".

"Eh…yeah…assisted…yeah, I know what that is…".

"You…weren't paying attention at the classes, were you?".

"Of course, I was!...So I put my hands here and…".

Winter rubbed the bridge of her nose. "What you are doing is CPR and you have your hands wrong!  Sigh.  To perform assisted artificial respiration, you must first cover the patience's nose like this", Winter grabbed Jaune's hand and helped him pitch Ruby's nose.

"OW!".

"Ah! I'm sorry!".

"I'm just messing with you! Hahah".

"Aw, give me a break. Hehe".

Winter rolled her eyes at the goofiness of her students. "Take this seriously. Your friend is in mortal danger, Mr. Arc". Those words hit Jaune deeper than she could imagine, but it was everything he needed to stop playing and learn every skill he could to protect his loved ones.

"Now, grab her mouth like this". She put his hand on her face and slightly opened Ruby's mouth.

"Ok, then what?".

"Then you put your mouth against hers and blow".

"Right. I put my mouth against…hers…WAIT WHAT?!".

"HE IS GOING TO DO WHAT?!".

The audience burst in laughter and Winter just grew more annoyed. "You two are unbelievable. Assisted artificial respiration is better known as mouth-to-mouth resurrection. Your friend is not breathing and you must fill her lungs with air through her mouth".

" Yo-You can't be serious!".

"Well, no, this is a demonstration. You are not going to actually blow air into her. That would be dangerous. Just press your mouth against hers and…".

Ruby tried to stand up. "You know, maybe we can see a video on the internet! I'm sure if we ignore the kitty videos and the lets players, we can find someone doing…".

"Lay down! You are supposed to be unconscious!".

"Doesn't that make it worse?!".

"For the love of…. You are in a desperate situation, Arc! Rose just got attacked by a Grimm. She hit some rocks and now is not breathing. Every second that passes, her life in danger. It is up to you to do something or else she will die. What will you d…".

Before Winter could finish, the mere idea of losing Ruby had pushed Jaune to ignore everything in the world. He had to give it his all, he couldn't lose her, he was not going to lose her…so he did it.

Ruby's eyes showed her shock…his lips…and hers…Her mind went blank. Her heart just kept pounding faster and faster. What was happening? How did this happen? Jaune was her friend, her best friend. And here he was, with his lips against hers. She didn't know how to feel, she couldn't understand…but a part of her was enjoying it. She soon relaxed, slowly closed her eyes..and let herself go.

Jaune wasn't thinking. He got carried away by the scenario and just went for it. He even forgot to cover her nose. The only thing in his mind was trying to help Ruby…but at one moment, he realized what was happening. He had his eyes closed and let himself get trapped by the soft and sweet lips of his best friend. It felt odd. She was his best friend. She was special to him…maybe the most special person to him…He shouldn't have but he couldn't deny it, he was enjoying every single second of what was happening.

Jaune and Ruby stayed there for a few seconds that felt like hours and a part of them wished it was years. It was confusing, it was sweet…it just felt right.

Their closed eyes just showed the sweet joy they were feeling….yet something happened that shocked them back into reality. Their eyes got wide and they stared at each other. Jaune stood back is awe of what just had happened, while Ruby stood covering her mouth with both hands. Their eyes didn't disconnect from each other and the two blushed and shook nervously.

"Ru…" That was all Jaune could murmur, before Ruby's eyes became a bit teary and a vortex of rose petals rushed out the classroom at max speed.

"Wa-WAIT!".

"And then I ran here…". The little huntress finished her story, whimpering in shame and confusion as her friends stood around her chair focused on the story.

The first one to break the silence was her dear sister. "It's ok, Rubes. You didn't do anything wrong".

"Yang, my friendship with Jaune is over! How do you want me to see him in the eyes again?!".

Blake stepped in, "It wasn't a kiss though. He was just using a first-aid technique, it was part of the class, nothing else".

"Blake is right. Besides, just because your lips touched doesn't mean you can´t be friends anymore. Nothing bad happened" Weiss continued as she showed her support to her dear friend. The three gave her a soft smile as if saying "you poor thing" to their brave leader…poor poor girls, they weren't mentally prepared.

"There was tongue…".

"…."

"Guys?".

"JAUNE, I TRUSTED YOU!":

"I TOLD YOU! ALL MEN ARE PIGS!".

"YOU DID THAT IN FRONT OF MY SISTER!?".

All four girls had their own freakout. To say that dorm was in chaos was putting it slightly. But after a few seconds of constant screams, a chilling knock on the door sent goosebumps to their spines.

The knocks grew stronger and stronger until they were outright slams. And an aura of a powerful beast could be felt behind it.

"Oh, no…you don't think…".

Another slam made a dent on the thick metal door.

"Yang! You answer!".

"Blake! I thought we had something special!".

Another dent appeared.

Weiss shallowed as she built up courage. "Co-Come in!".

The door opened with enough impact to shake everything in the room. "One of you is coming with me…".

"Nora. We can talk about th…". Weiss tried to reason with the ragging berserker in her doorstep, but before she could finish, Nora put her on her shoulder and made her way out with the princess as her hostage.

"AHHH! HELP ME!".

"You will be missed, Weiss!".

"I'll dedicate my first book to you!".

"SCREW YOU, GUYS!".

Nora dragged Weiss to the gardens of Atlas Academy, sitting her on a bench.

"That was extremely unnecessary!".

"Shut it! Princess! You know why I brought you here!" Nora pointed at Weiss accusatorily…before wiggling her finger to play with her prisoner's nose.

Weiss shook her hands to get her off her, "St-Stop it!". She took a deep breath before addressing the matter. "So, you heard".

"Heard?! Jaune came in rushing like a bullet! I have never seen him so embarrassed in my life and I was there when he got a wedgie from an Ursa".

"Don't remind me, he was giving me flowers that day".

Nora certainly was upset but her demeanor didn't show anger. She was mainly frustrated with the whole situation and worried for her two friends. Jaune in particular…she wasn't sure how his heart would take it. "Seriously, of all ways for this to happen. You know how hard it was to get Jaune to smile again?!".

"Hey, don't look at me, I had nothing to do with this! Besides, if you are so worried about Jaune, why aren't you with him?".

Nora scoffed "Please! It's not like I left him alone. Ren and Oscar and keeping an eye on him".

"You left him with Ren and Oscar…".

"Yeah. Why?".

"I don't get it! Why you took your hand off her nose? Wouldn't the air come out from there?".

"She put her tongue in my mouth! Who cares about the first-aid technique, Oscar!?".

"But are you sure it was a kiss though? Many cultures have varied ways of greeting a friend or family. The customs in Patch might be more exotic than we think".

"Ren, just…Just give me another tea…".

"This really isn't his day, is it?".

"Would you take this seriously?!" Nora was growing ever more frustrated by the time and Weiss began to notice this situation had her unusually nervous.

"Nora. Calm down. This isn't that big of a deal. I'm sure they can makeup, they are inseparable". Weiss reassured her.

Nora sat next to her, letting herself fall as if her worries were weighing her down. "It's just… You don't understand. When we traveled to Haven, I had to see Jaune and Ruby get eaten by their own regrets. Ruby had nightmares every night. Jaune barely slept". Nora took a deep breath, the memories of that road trip with team RJNR were as sweet as they were sorrowful. "Jaune's heart…it took him so long to start to heal. It made me so happy seeing him goof around and have a smile again after so long. But you know who managed to bring joy to him before he began to stand up on his own again? Little Ruby Rose".

Weiss was beginning to understand where Nora was coming from, "You are afraid they'll drift apart over this?".

"Ruby worked so hard to take his mind off…what happened. But every time she gave him joy, something else happened that pushed him back into that pit and every time that happened Ruby fell back into hers. I knew she regretted bringing us in that trip, I knew she felt guilty and was hurting just as, if not more than the rest of us. But I didn't know how to tell her everything would be ok…But you know who did?".

"Hehe. Of course, I do. Even before the Fall, Jaune and Ruby always knew what to say to each other". Weiss chuckled just remembering those good old days when all her family, her true family just spent time simply enjoying each other's company at Beacon.

"Yes, I am very afraid they'll drift apart. They are great for each other, Weiss! That's why I brought you here, I need your help".

Weiss was a bit surprised by her words. "Wait…You mean…you want them to be together?".

"They bring the best on each other and are happier when the other is around. Let me tell you a little story. We swore to never tell you guys…but I already told Yang so…".

Weiss rolled her eyes, just thinking that of course, Nora did.

"There was this one night we were setting our camp. We were getting everything ready when Jaune noticed his sleeping bag was full of ants. He started swinging it around but the thing was completely covered. Jaune didn't have anywhere to sleep…so."

"No! They did not!".

"Yep. Ruby told him they could share hers".

"Why didn't he share it with Ren?".

"Because I'm an amazing matchmaker, that's why! They ended up spooning each other that night!".

"Ruby was the big spoon, wasn't she?".

"It's called a jetpack".

"Ren is a little spoon too, noted".

"Every night was another nightmare, another sleepless night that just ate them from inside…but that night…that night they sleep so peacefully. Ren and I couldn't believe it. That was the one night they had a deep sleep…and it was while one was embracing the other".

Weiss understood completely. Ruby and Jaune were in a panic for the same reason, it wasn't just embarrassment. They were special to each other and just like Nora, what scared them the most was losing that bond due to a silly mistake…if only they could see it. "Are you sure they like each other?".

"Come on! I've been dealing with Jaune's love life since day 1 at Beacon. Trust me, they are head over heels for each other!".

"Then what's the big deal? They are not going to drift apart; all they need to do is be open with one another".

Nora launched herself at Weiss and put her face uncomfortably close to the snow princess' "As if it was that easy! You have done it before, haven't you? That fear of making things awkward by saying the wrong thing. If you care too much for someone, screwing things up would be as painful as tabbing your hand! Just spitting your feelings is not as easy as…".

"I never said it was easy, but if that person matters that much to you, you have to be honest to them and to yourself.".

"It's more complicated that…".

"I…feel we aren't talking about Jaune and Ruby anymore….".

Nora sat back down, her gaze drifting to the distance, "…It's hard to tell the person you love how much you love them…and there is always that fear that they won't say it back…".

Weiss delicately put her hand on Nora's shoulder who turned to see her reassuring smile. "You know what I love about you and Ren? You show your love to each other. Even in the smallest moments, Ren is always showing how much he cares about you. Give him time, someday he might find the courage to say it, but until then remember that actions speak way louder…and Ren does love you".

Nora became a bit teary-eyed, but she wasn't going to let the ice queen win, "Stop it. Hehe.  Sniff.  This isn't about me".

"Nora…you have to be open with Ren if this worries you so much. Hell, you would all be happier if you were more….That's it" Weiss stood up revitalized and with a plan in mind. "I know what to do".

"RUBY STOP!"

"I'll drink my pain away! I LEARNED FROM THE BEST!"

"I doubt Qrow was passing out on milk…".

"GIVE ME THE BOTTLE! YOU HAD ENOUGH!".

"NO! LET ME GO! YANG!".

"What the…" Weiss entered the room, amazed at the bizarre scene. Of course, this wasn't the weirdest thing she had found her teammates doing in their dorm by a long shot…which really is saying something.

"Weiss! Do something!". Ruby pleaded but Weiss planted her palm on her face.

"For the love of, Ok! Listen up! All of you!". Maybe in another life, Weiss would have done for an excellent general, because as soon as she spoke, all her teammates stood with attention. "We have exactly an hour to have Ruby ready".

"For what?" Ruby said concerned but Weiss was done with everyone's nonsense.

"Quiet! Yang, take her to the shower; she reeks of milk".

"On it!".

"Wa-WAIT! AHH!" Ruby continued complaining but Yang just carried her as if made of cardboard.

"Blake, help me find her an outfit. Nothing too formal but what I would call 'casual elegance', and no heels! I cannot put her under more stress".

"I think I got an idea, but…Weiss, what's going on?".

Weiss gave her a confident smile, the one she usually got when all her chess pieces fell into place. "Tonight, everything changes. For everyone".

Night fell and the gardens of Atlas Academy lite up with gorgeous lamps that displayed the snow lowly and softly falling on the bushes and trees. The sound of the running water of a fountain was a sweet melody that brought attention to its beautiful depiction of two huntsmen standing side by side against all adversity.

"Weiss, this is insane! Please let me go back to my bed".

"And run and hide for the rest of your life? Not a chance, you are braver than that, besides, you look so pretty!" Weiss said while fixing Ruby's clothes and hair, she wasn't going to let her be messy this night, but of course, she knew her best friend far too well, she wasn't going to put her in a dress she would be too embarrassed to wear, but between the skirt and one of Blake's shirts, Ruby looked comfortable and pretty, the exact balance Weiss was looking for.

"Weiss, I don't want to see him. It makes me nervous just thinking how Ill mess this u…".

"You won't! Ruby, you care a lot about Jaune and he cares so much for you. I get it, you guys did something embarrassing, who cares?! That doesn't change anything between you. But you have to talk about it".

"But…what if…".

Weiss hugged her tightly, she was there for her and she wanted to show it. "You know how you feel about him. But Ruby, you have to be honest with yourself. I know it is scary, but it's a leap of faith you must take".

"But…what should I say…?".

"The truth. All of it. Let your heart go wild. Be honest and I'm sure he'll be honest with you too. You are special to him, I'm sure of it".

Ruby hugged her even tighter, she needed those arms she could rely on more than anything at that moment.

"Besides, if he rejects you, I'll push him off Atlas".

"Hahaha. No, you wouldn't".

"There is a reason we are doing this outdoors, hehe".

The two separated a little, giving each other a loving smile, "You got this, Ruby. Just be honest with yourself".

"Thank you".

With those words, Ruby turned around and walked off to the meeting spot. Her legs were shaking, but with all the support Weiss gave her, how couldn't she try?

The snow kept falling but Ruby didn't know if her shivers were of cold or excitement or both. She had so many things in her mind, what she was going to say, what she was going to do…how did she actually felt? The more she reflected the more she kept wondering what she feared the most, for Jaune to not have feelings for her or him having them and her hurting him. He was her best friend, he was family…but…was he also…

Her feet stopped as soon as she noticed the figure of her tall friend. Jaune was rather nervous himself. Nora had made him take off his armor and go out mainly wearing his jacket, but somehow this made him feel vulnerable.

"But, Nora…".

"No buts!" her voice came from his scroll, "You are doing this and is final! Plus, you look so handsome!".

"You are sounding like my mom…".

"Yeah, talk about your mom. A great conversation starter, big guy".

"Star.." Jaune turned around and immediately froze seeing Ruby standing behind him.

"Good luck!" with that final message, Nora ended the call and Jaune and Ruby found themselves alone.

"..hey…".

"….hey".

"This feels wrong, why are we spying?".

"Oscar, sweetie, you need to learn to listen to big sis Nora!"

"Shhhh! It's starting!".

The entire team hid behind the bushes, ready to listen to their leaders. They were all wondering how things would go, but Weiss just had one wish, for the two to open their hearts.

The awkward silence was as cold as the snow. Jaune and Ruby had decided to share a bench. For a minute, all their conversation was silence followed by a few "hey"s and "so"s…but at least they were trying.

Jaune began to wonder how did he end up in this situation. How after everything they had been through, an awkward kiss had changed the way he acted around Ruby. It was always so natural to talk to her. From the start, he never had fear or anxiety talking to her. It was always so easy….then why was it different this time? He made a mistake, but this was still Ruby. She was the most amazing person he knew, she was kind, brave, strong, funny...beautiful. She was special…so why should this be different from normal?

"R-Ruby…" She was surprised to see him force those words out. He did his best to put himself together. "Ruby, I'm so sorry!". She was shocked, but at this point, he couldn't stop. "I-I didn't mean to…kiss you. I wouldn't steal a kiss from you, no, no, no! I don't mean from you; I mean from anyone. Not that I want to kiss other people besides you...wait! No, that's not what I…"

"I'm sorry too!" To Jaune's surprise, Ruby had jumped in as well "It was my fault! If I had paid attention to the class or…or…I didn't mean to….I didn't mean to put my tongue in your mouth!".

"IT WAS HER?!".

"I owe Jaune an apology".

"Oh, so is not a custom in Patch?".

"What?! No!".

"It was my fault! I shouldn't have asked you to go on that class in the first place!".

"I shouldn't have made Winter mad! How was I supposed to know she was a big Weiss?!".

"…Why did I help those two…?".

"Look, it doesn't matter".

"Right! What matters is…".

"IM SORRY!" The two said at the same time, surprising the other. Ruby and Jaune sat there with a look of shock, staring into each other's eyes.

Silence had returned, but this time it wasn't as awkward. That small outburst felt liberating. It was as if a big weight had been lifted from their shoulders. The two still had ashamed faces, but looking at each other, the two couldn't help but to crack a laugh at their situation.

"Hahahahah".

"Hahahahahah!".

They laughed as hard as they could, barely being able to compose themselves.

"What are we doing?". Ruby asked, resting her hand on Jaune's shoulder.

"I guess…I guess we are being dumb". He responded with a soft smile on his face.

"Yeah. Big time. Hehe…Look, it was a silly mistake".

"Yeah…To be honest, I was really afraid. I just…I didn't want you to hate me. You are my best friend, Ruby".

She punched his arm lovely, "I would never hate you, silly. I actually thought you hated me. I mean I did take advantage of you…".

"You are right! I should report you! Or worst… I'm telling your sister!".

"Ha! Too slow as always! I already did!"

"Really?! How did she take it?".

"Dad is gonna kill me!".

"Surprisingly well".

The laughs kept coming as the two did what they did best, enjoy each other's company and bring in joy in one another.

Ruby paused, she started to wonder just how open she could be with him. He was her best friend. They had shared many things, especially in their darkest moments. She decided to test the waters, but might have overdone it a little, "If I'm honest…I was afraid I would hurt you".

"What do you mean?".

"…You told me…about your first kiss and…I was afraid you'll get hurt ag…".

"You could never hurt me" He stopped her. "Ruby…Yeah, I have some memories that pain me to this day. But those aren't the ones I treasure. Do you know which I do? The ones that make me happy and you happen to be in plenty of them". He caressed her hair lovely, something that made her skip a beat. "I do miss Pyrrha…but, not long ago, I realized that I couldn't continue hurting myself, especially because I was hurting the people I love. Ren, Nora, Oscar, Weiss, Blake, Yang…and You. I would never have made it to where I am if not for you. You could never hurt me because you make me stronger, Ruby".

Ruby smiled at him, her eyes tearing up a bit. Jaune was special to her, she now saw it clearly. Being a part of his life and him being a part of hers brought her so much joy.

"You really are a dummy, aren't you? Hehe".

"Oh, come on! I'm pouring out my heart here!".

"But it was so cheesy!".

"Well, yeah, but…".

"I'm messing with you…I happen to like cheese".

"Gods they are adorable and lame".

"I think it is sweet".

"….Ren….did you just….".

The awkward tension had banished. It was as if it had never been there. They were back to normal, joyful, playful…simply happy about being together.

The snow was starting to grow a bit stronger. Ruby was grateful for Blake lending her clothes, but her taste in shirts wasn't really wintery. She began to rub her arms and shiver.

As the silence continued, Ruby kept on thinking how relieved she felt, how she was able to be honest with the way she felt and Jaune returned that honesty. But a part of her was also glad this was all over and everything could go back to norm…

"Here. It's getting a bit cold…".

She was stunned. She felt it in slow motion, how the fabric of his jacket covered her skin. A look of shock was all she could give in return. She stared at him while he just sat there next to her, only a shirt on and a bright and warm smile.

"Maybe we should get back in. Come on. I think they have hot chocolate in the cafeteria". He stood up cheerfully and began to walk away. But Ruby didn't follow…she stayed seated.

"Uh…Ruby?".

"I enjoyed it".

His eyes got wide and his heart skipped a beat, but Ruby had finally made her mind. She was not going to be silent; she was going to be honest with herself, she was going to be honest with her feelings and honest with him.

"I enjoyed it, ok? It felt…I felt like I wanted it to last forever. I don't understand it yet but I do know that I enjoyed it and not just the kiss!" She stood up looking at him straight in the eyes. "I was so happy when you said I was special to you. Because YOU are special to me! I care about you and have done it for a long long time but I knew how much you were hurting; I knew all the pain you were going through and it killed me that I couldn't just take that pain away!".

Jaune was paralyzed on his spot. His heart rising with every word.

"It's embarrassing! It's weird! It's frustrating but I don't care!" Ruby began to rant and clench her fist in frustration and determination. "Weiss is right! Hiding your feelings isn't fair to yourself. Sometimes you might want to protect and respect someone, others you just can't put your feelings into words, but you should always be honest to yourself! Be honest with your feelings! Be honest with who you are, what you want, how sad you are, and how much joy you have in your heart when you see someone you love smile!

Weiss, looked attentively, she was worried but more than anything, she was proud. "Be honest, Ruby". She said with a soft smile.

"When you care about someone, that person is special to you. If you love them that much why wouldn't you be honest with them!? Why would you hide your doubts and fear from that person who is always there, with whom you share something so beautiful and special?!. Be honest! Be honest with your own feelings and be honest with that person you love! It's hard, it's scary but ARENT THEY WORTH IT?! You love them for a reason! BE HONEST!".

She didn't realize it, but those words hit hard to more people than she thought. Yang and Blake had been through many things together and still had a long way to go, but there was something clear to everyone, they cared for each other and their bond had been tempered in fire, it was stronger than steel. Yang grabbed Blake's hand, she was surprised, but the smile they shared gave the two of them warm.

Ren had never been good at expressing his feelings. He always kept them hidden, is not that he didn't have them nor that he didn't want to let them out, it was simply difficult to put his love into words. Nora knew this, it pained her but she was certain he loved her just as much as she loved him. Ren was never good at talking, but he always showed how much he loved her, still, his heart was pained and worried and Nora was determined. She knew how much she loved him and she was going to be there for him. Someday, somehow, she would get through him, she would help him be honest with himself…and until then, she was going to stand by his side, giving him all her love. To her surprise, even in these moments of uncertainty, Ren held her hand, he looked ashamed, he knew he had too much in his mind and didn't know how to say it, but Nora understood the gesture, a soft touch that said "You are special to me". She smiled and leaned on him, not a word was said and at the same time, they said it all.

"That's why….that's why I'll be honest wit h you!...I did enjoy it…because you are special to me…because I…I…".

"I couldn't sleep!" Jaune said, stopping and surprising Ruby. "That night in Argus! When we were split. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, Nora had to make me drink water! I was so worried about something happening to you! To all of you but especially you! I was terrified of losing you, Ruby!". She began to get tears in her eyes. "I did enjoy it but it wasn't meant to be a kiss! I was afraid! I let myself go by what Winter said. The idea of you getting hurt…I CAN'T BARE IT! Ruby you aren't only special to me, you are the most special person in my life! I've known for a long time, I just….I had so much hatred for myself…A part of me refused to be happy...but you were always there bringing me joy even in my darkest times…You were always there…you are always there and I want you to be there and I will be there for you! From the moment I met you I wanted to walk beside you, I just never realized just how much I want to be with you!".

The two stopped and began to breathe faster and faster. Exasperated….but somehow also relieved. They were there bringing out everything filling their hearts. They were being honest with the most important person in their lives.

"….Go out with me…" Ruby said, breaking the silence with a shy voice. "I want to be with you too…so…". Before she could realize it, her head was already down, hiding her face from the embarrassment and had grabbed her hands and pressed them on her chest as if holding her heart. "I know is silly….but…".

"Yes". And with one word, Ruby's head rushed back up, meeting Jaune's eyes. The two connected with a simple gaze. "Yes…of course, I will…".

They had shown the contents of their hearts…and the love was mutual and strong. Ruby and Jaune changed their shocked looks for joyful smiles as the two of them realized what happened. They were honest with themselves….and it just felt right.

"Jaune…".

"Ruby….".

The two got closer. Their bodies moved on their own. Without a moment to waste, Jaune caressed Ruby's face and the two got closer and closer and closer…

"MY BABY SISSSSS!".

"YANG?!"

"AHHHHH!".

And with that, Yang had exposed all of their friends hiding in the bushes. Jaune and Ruby had their jaws on the floor.

"Damnit, YANG! It was so close!" Weiss yelled in frustration.

"I've been waiting for this for SO LONG!" Nora worked so hard for months and now, she got robbed.

"I couldn't help it! It was so beautiful! Right Blake?".

"It was so cute!".

"Good job, Jaune. I was really moved". Ren smiled while giving a thumbs up.

"I'm so happy for you guys!". Oscar cheered.

Jaune and Ruby turned red. All those embarrassing things and their friends heard every single word. Had the world ended right there, they wouldn't have had any regrets…well, maybe just one regret.

"We have to celebrate!".

"Can it be inside? It's freezing here!".

As their friends all walked away, they followed behind, discreetly walking right beside each other. After all, they had promised to stay by each other's side…always.

Ruby sneakily grabbed Jaune's hand, caressing it tenderly with her thumb.

"Don't think you'll escape".

"Hehe. I wasn't planning to".

"You know…you do owe me".

"What?".

"Yeah. Apparently, my first kiss wasn't a real kiss after all…".

Jaune began to rub the back of his neck. "Haha…yeah…But I…can make it up to you lat…".

He didn't notice but she had a keener eye, as soon as she noticed their friends had gone a bit farther away, she took the chance and stole a sweet and lovely kiss.

"You know what? I enjoyed this one more" Ruby winked with a smile and blush before running back to her friends.

Jaune stood there but the sight of his special girl with a big smile brought nothing but joy to his heart. That warm love….it just felt right.

"Hey wait up! That's not fair!".

"Come and catch me if you want another!".

"Ruby!".

________________________________________________________________

Fan fiction for the 9 days of Lancaster 2020! 

This is honestly my first time writting romance but lancaster is worth it!

Prompts: Regret / Apology

@9dayshandler