#girl help....! i'm toxic..............! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

newwavesylviaplath · 7 months ago

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one thing about me is when it comes to weddings i am EXTREMELY judgemental. like not even in a quirky fun way i have such strong opinions- most of which are on par with that of a wealthy hyper-religious mother of the bride in her mid 60s. oh you don't want to wear a white dress? why even get married. might as well continue living in sin.

#i KNOW i'm being toxic i can't help it #i'm like oddly traditional when it comes to weddings #girlblogging #coquette #hyper feminine #tumblr girlies #this is a girlblog #2014 tumblr #lana del rey #cinnamon girl #lizzy grant #girl interrupted #traditional wedding #crying in the chapel #60s #romantic #shitpost

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hearts-hunger · 2 years ago

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you know what's actually so important to me is that four guys in a rock n roll band decided to name their next album starcatcher. like, in a world of men's anger and men's greed and men's pride, there are also men who look to the sky with awe and humility, one hand extended to touch the stars with a wondering and eager reverence, the other hand offered in love to those who might need a little help and encouragement as they start to look skyward.

#if you give a girl a tumblr she will...... wax poetic about album names apparently <3 #i just thought of josh holding one hand up to the stars and holding tight to someone's hand with the other #because he's so excited for us to take this journey with him #help i'm hurting my own feelings now #gvf said fuck toxic masculinity and i love them for it #maddie.txt #starcatcher #greta van fleet

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boxwinebaddie · 1 month ago

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i'm sorry, but jerseykyle is legit every ke$ha song ever written i'm?! BLAHBLAHBLAH???? CANNIBAL???? but like Specifically JOYRIDE like, no, literally Beep Beep, Bitch; I'm Outside ( Best Night Yo Life ) —

Get In Loser,

For The JOYRIDE. ;)

#nina speaks #i am cryiiiiiiing #okay every song excluding One but i blame dr. luke and it being 2000 whatever and the lack of wokeness back them #( we love you mother ke$ha i looooove you mwAH )#but any richter scale breakin freaky ass shakin sleazy breezy beautiful club banger n y2k pop hit abt bein a toxic nasty heaux #was just written about jersey and i MEAN that oh my god #BAD BITCH THEME MUSIC #someone talked to be about hollaback girl and TOO REAL #kyleyb did spell bananas out for gorilla juiceheads frequently #we love a helpful and educated king! thanks baby! aljskasjla #blahblahblah is so real ik when bebe drags him by the ear to college nite at the club and some idiot guy is hitting on him #he is sooooo i don't care where you live it just turn around boy let me hit thatsdjaslkd like if you dont zip yo lips like a padlock #and meet me in the back with the jack and the juxebox AAAA #hes my hero i am very glad he is being rehabilitated for that sex addiction but he was THE MOMENT! THE MOVEMENTTT #JOYRIDE THO???? TOOOOOOOOOO REEEEEEEAL #i cannot hear maneater by nelly fertado without thinking about him jk embodies the freak nasty evil spirit of that song #i want to answer that ask soon bc i have SOOOO much to say nina stop pretending rm is a netflix original series smh #but i can see it vividly...VIIIIIIIIIIVIDLY and im a little blind so thats really saying something; whateva! i'm a visionary baby!#i want to make a playlist for the boys and for my stupid unfinished bfanfic but my music taste gives me the ick so hard #but yeah it's just...i feel this so strongly in my bones #its his ravenstan new perspective / pop punk y2k stanthems

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jessicas-pi · 1 year ago

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OKAY LISTEN I'M STILL MAD SO I'M CHANNELING MY INNER EMILY TO SAY THIS:

Saying a female character is only three-dimensional if she has traditionally "masculine" characteristics without any "feminine" traits is just playing into the misogynistic idea that women are only "okay" if they're like men, and saying that fandom is stripping a female character of agency and reducing her to a love interest by portraying her with "soft" traits and giving her a romance(with a man) is just dumb, especially when no issue is made about fandom-izing a smart and strong male character into an incompetent "damsel/himbo/malewife."

#jessica's non writing nonsense #i don't have the words to adequately express myself but.#something something people realized rigid gender roles were toxic #so they kept the rigidness but reversed the gender roles #and 'women shouldn't be helpless and weak and super emotional and Always Need A Man!'#became 'women shouldn't need help or have weaknesses or feel emotions and they're Not Allowed To Want A Man!!'#like. its ridiculous. i'm here giving Girl Character normal human feelings and a healthy friends to lovers relationship #and the antis are like 'you SHIP the GIRL? you SHIP the GIRL with a BOY?? OH! OH! Jail for author! Jail for author for One Thousand Years!'#(i hope this doesnt start an argument because unlike emily I Get Hurty Feelings but. it needed to be said.)

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angorwhosebabyisthis · 11 months ago

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one thing i was not prepared for when i started this rewatch of sdmi has been for it to finally sink in how absolutely heartbreaking daphne's whole deal is. this poor kid, man

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #daphne blake #abused kid with zero self-worth: casually; gruesomely self-harms in the *second episode* unprompted to get an extra clue #me: 😰😰😰😰#someone help her please actually god #i know it tends to get overshadowed by people being annoyed by the Obnoxious Het Teen Drama and all; and i get it #but like. that's a major manifestation of her *larger* deep-running issues; sexism and misogyny have shaped how she tries to deal with them #and it kind of sits less and less right with me these days that of her and fred #she's the one whose issues get dismissed and ignored with 'i don't care about boring hets so i'm not gonna bother 🙄'#whereas fred's issues which his involvement in that subplot are an expression of get explored and taken seriously #and treated as Tragic Best Boy Protect Him #(which by itself i don't have a problem with! he is very dubious and fucked up but he's also really tragic and likable)#especially since he's a *catalyst for or outright cause of* a lot of the heartbreaking stuff that happens with her in the series #i understand he has issues of his own and the misogyny is a manifestation of his own abuse history; that toxic masculinity has harmed him #but it is a plain and simple fact that he is a misogynistic abuser toward daphne in sdmi. like. he just is. that's a thing #and i think it is. revealing. that of the characters involved in the Annoying Het Subplot(tm)#it's the man who is a perpetrator of misogyny who's considered Worth Exploring the Tragedy of Despite the Annoying Het Subplot #and the girl who is a victim of misogyny; in ways her entire life is shaped by and suffocated in; is fair game to ignore the tragedy of #and the way the most i have ever seen her get in the show or otherwise on that front is #She Deserves a Better Boyfriend and to Be Confident in Herself Hell Yeah Girl Power #and not 'the way this kid's parents talk to her in the car outside the college is a punch in the gut to watch'#........bothers me. it bothers me.#anyway #misogyny cw #abuse mention cw #abuse apologism cw #self-harm cw #SDMItag

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february-academia · 2 years ago

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28.04.2023

So much happened this week. (In tags I'll rant about it)

N4 is coming and my prep is not at all good. Took a test today and i failed🥲. But i know my prep is soo bad,it was bound to happen. So have to study for that.

College exams are coming🥹 also have to study for that. The dissertation proposal is in the finalising stage,so that's good. But have to work on it properly imo.

Then i also proposed another research study to my professor and he has encouraged me to go for it. So,also have to work on it.

These very cutu plants in the scorching heat were a treat to eyes and mind.

Got this book from the library and I'm really enjoying reading the essays.

( correction in a tag- she scored less than me in class and she was all sad sad. With her i had to suppress my happiness at moments like these)

#here i go #so here in this clg i have 2 friends mainly they are my classmates and one is roomates also so thsi roomate is very toxic i kinda knew it #from the start but ignoted it bcs we became friends when we used to have online lectures and haven't met each other and somethings happened #in which she helped me so i was kinda obliged to stay w her. and after sometime i kinda strted feeling it. all the bad vibes #the toxicity she carry for other ppl judging them on their appearances and whenever i trued to correct her tries to manipulate things #like she jas all of the mean girl vibe but i the clown couldn't just had the courage or ways to not be w her i so wnated to but couldn't #it was all so fucked up and living w her. i changed i started judging ppl. this was so bad. she went through soem toughtimes and as i frien #friend i cared for her i was there for her almost all the times and most of the times whenever i needed her she was not.#tries to dominate always and the incident due to ehich I'm writing all this is - I'm not earing well properly well from past month she know #and last sunday i was very excited to this dish and i wanted to take more and she said very rudely how much more will you eat? i said i did #not had lunchand almost didn't eat the ehole day what's yhe nig deal abt it why tou saying and stopping me like that and she said i did not #say it she said again i did not say it with that rude voice like she can never be wrong and ppl wjom i rarely talk to have noticed that #I've lost weight but she who luves wirh me almost all the time do not know it whom I've talked to abt this don't knwo it . i didn't have #any appetite after that i just stuffed the food unsideand went outside wiyjout syaing anything 8 wanted ro puke so bad i controlled my #i couldn't beleive what just happened i didn't try to talk to her and she obviously wouldn't bcs of teh ego and then there's another friend #and classmate of us and she has a great bond w her then after taht incident she is also not talking ro me and. avoiding me in the corridor #making me feel like I'm the onw wrong here and thwse 2 ppl were not on talking term a week ago again ego calshes this other girl didn't #so yeah i got snakes here #now I'm all alone but this feels great literally like yes i cried and couldn't sleep bcs even tho i knew they are not always what they show #they were the only obes here i was able to form a bond with ( i hate this part so much now)and i care abt friendships alot but it ended #they are not talking to me I'm not talking to them. but thus whole thing made me free now I'm free i don't have to wait for them everytime #i want to go to library or to a class or to a walk bcs they wanted everything to be done in a grp #and I'm going everyday out to study to walk and to jyst peacefully live bcs now I don't have to deal with negativity and toxicity anymore #i feel myself again my trye self who was kind to ppl who wanted to just study quietly in evening who wanted to just go in class on time #i don't have to feel that if i di this will she judge me I'm feeling free with what I'm wearing I'll enjoy and celebrate all my wins #and achievements of the last year bcs i couldn't even enjoy those when i was with her just bcs she didn't got less tahn me #I'm smiling more nad I'm loving more myself to actually avle to come out of thsi spiral i didn't even know i could so yay #listening to you're on your own kid in loop and it made me so happy #that's it done. there was so much to say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hope you got some idea of what's happening in my life #sending you all love and light and if you find urslf in somesimilar situation or any difficulty rn hope you get out of it very soon<3

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yuridovewing · 9 months ago

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I haven't read TBC yet but I already know for certain that in my rewrite in my head, Needleclaw is the protag not Rootspring

#depending on how the romance is handled i may still put her with bristlefrost but i havent heard that much favorable things... hrm.#i could still have it end tragically. like they all die at the end its a tragic arc and it forces change #that wouldnt be the issue its just ive heard rootspring is sorta pushy and derails bristles arc #btw bristlefrost is getting renamed just bc. im changing a lot of nextgen babies post oots #i'm thinking shes named after a plant but im not sure which one #but for now im just calling her bristle for claritys sake #shes an ivyblossom baby #if the forbidden romance still happens (which it probably will tbh this is a neat arc for it)#then the context will be shifted around so its not a ''pressured into it'' deal #speaking of canon tho uhhh my books are due in two days so. may power through darkest night finally #ill just get the pdfs from here so i can read on the go as well (im carrying other physical books)#also im so back and forth on sparkstorm as the thunderclan pov cause i want it to be a wind/shadow conflict arc #and move twig to windclan to help that so we have eyes in there... but augh im thinking of sparkstorm having a complicated #relationship with twigshade... where like she tried and failed to protect her bc she was a child raising a child #paralleling needletail who initially had selfish intentions and hurt violetshine but grew genuinely fond of her and tried to raise her #but they both failed the girls cause they were kids themselves and they were failed by the adults around them #and augh. i COULD do that with larkwing over in windclan but she'd be older in the timeline #echoed voice #also needle and spark toxic/tragic yuri

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lucyvaleheart · 10 months ago

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#delete later #hey haven't made a vent post in a while that's gotta be a good thing right #I dunno. got an appt in like a month and hopefully that'll fix me but until then......#...sigh. tw for heavy shit for the rest of this don't read on unless you can manage with that kinda thing #is it like. nights? does my brain just shut down any level of dopamine response at night? is that it?#cuz fuck I spiral so fast. not 5 hours ago I was on cloud 9 cuddling a cute girl I may or may not have a-#anyway #now it's midnight.#and I just kind of want to carve my self awareness out of my body like a cancerous growth #and never be aware again #loneliness and jealousy and despair and self hatred and my god I can't really think of anything negative I *don't* feel #i just want it to stop #i wanna stop hurting every time I see them being so intimate with someone else I've already been rejected I need to get the fuck over mysel #ugh #I......#i usually try to keep these vague cuz I know people follow me and despite my best efforts do tend to read these #part of me wants that? that cry for help I guess? some way to reach out without having to be vulnerable #on the other hand I don't want to guilt anyone or to make anyone feel bad for being happy cuz that's toxic as fuck #I.... I don't fuckin know I'm just kind of rambling now.#....I'll be fine eventually #maybe #god I can't even say that for certain anymore huh #what do i even do why can't i see the solution anymore #all that's there is 'stop feeling x emotion' and thats just not a reasonable thing to expect myself to be capable of #you can't just turn off your emotions as much as I wish I could #.......want to be held close and touched a lot and told it'll be ok and complimented and. wanted #want to be wanted.#.....sigh #.......i am wanted. I know I am. I know so many people want my attention that it's nearly impossible to keep up #so what the fuck is my deal why do I still want it so bad? what isn't clicking? why doesn't it fucking work

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13eyond13 · 2 years ago

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have you dated a lot?

Not really! I've had 3 official relationships, 1 with a girl and 2 with guys... the girl was first and the guys were after that because I wasn't 100% sure if I was gay. After I broke up with the second guy I just kinda stopped dating altogether for a long while and slowly realized and accepted that I was indeed gay and that I missed being with a girl and that the idea of spending my life with a man didn't appeal to me at all, even though I like guys as friends and can find them cute and attractive and whatnot sometimes too. MOSTLY I've just been single for long periods of time though, and rn I'm like the constant single 9th wheel of my friend group which is getting pretty old hahaha

#the only one i ever felt in love with was the girl but unfortunately it was a v toxic relationship too #i'm more than ready to meet the girl of my dreams and settle down for real now but #i live on an island that is like #EVERYONE knows each other and its super insular and old fashioned in ways so that doesnt really help either #you always feel like somebody's mom is gonna be all in your business or your classmate from grade 4 or sthg and its hard to meet people #especially if youre gay but #im also just really bad at displaying my interest in people i find attractive hahaha #i get told im kinda like daria or something just like hard to read and deadpan #even when i think im being obvious about my emotions #so other people usually have to pursue me #for anything much to happen #mostly im just shy and also worried ill annoy people by coming onto them if they arent interested or also gay hahaha #p

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redwayfarers · 11 months ago

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what if nika and artoirel had each other's courtship tokens?? they already possess the same pair of earrings but what if artoirel kept one of nika's hats by his bed and nika had a little kerchief with the fortemps family sigil on it. and when asked about it, artoirel says yes, they're courting and doesn't give any details bc it's, well their thing. meanwhile, nika doesn't respond but his expression is proof enough.

(anyone who knows him knows he can count the people he likes on one hand, and he does mention artoirel often, so it's easy to piece it together. but still the idea of him being in love being so obvious that he doesn't have to say anything is just <3 to me)

#nero plays ffxiv #nika perseis #nika x artoirel #artoirel de fortemps #someone send help i'm experiencing wild levels of brainrot #i also think nika would legit struggle with saying he's romantically interested in men #idk how public this is but. that would mean he's saying to everyone he's bisexual in his eyes #background: all his life he thought all straight guys had the hots for their homies alongside girls. aren't all guys a little gay.#so he's fairly sure he's sexually attracted to men bc it's been that was his whole life #but romantically? nah that requires him getting comfy with a lot of things real fast and he isn't ready for that #so him saying he's exclusive with artoirel? it's like a coming out #he can't *verbalize* it yet but he sure isn't hiding it #nika is the poster child of toxic masculinity in a lot of ways and it's all negatively impacted him #one of the ways is this. he can't be honest to himself that he has a romantic attraction to more than just women #so this is actually a step in the right direction for him #sorry for the novel in the tags this didn't fit in a post and i felt stupid writing this in a post esp as someone who doesn't have that (1)#(2) experience. but it is what it is so in the tags it goes

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burger-goblin · 1 year ago

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#girl help i'm romanticizing a relationship that i was in over a decade ago that left me emotionally bruised and stunted #a very toxic relationship in which i was abused in every way a person can be abused #i always would tell myself that i wouldn't take him back after he would cheat on my and i would be tricked into it because i really thought #that i could change him and he could be better #but i realized much later that the reason i was so easy to win back wasn't just because i was in love with him‚ but also because #i really loved his family. i loved the love they gave me‚ and how-- despite how poor our relationship was-- they were on my side #and always cared for me. even when we weren't together‚ his mom was always checking in on me #he and i reconciled years after our very‚ very messy final breakup and maintained a good friendship #however he started getting radicalized and was leaning further and further right‚ so i distanced myself and removed him from my socials #last year‚ around this time‚ i started having dreams about him over and over‚ so i took it as a sign to reach out to him and check in #turned out that his mom had been hospitalized and it wasnt looking good. i reached out to her as well. thankfully‚ she went home #and he asked me how i was‚ like he wanted to keep in touch‚ and i never replied. i wanted to keep that distance between us #but i would still be near if they needed me‚ and for some reason‚ i just assumed the family knew that #fast forward to now. his mom is gone and it's weighing heavily on me. he's told me he never wants to talk to me again #and that's also weighing on me. i wish i just knew the direct reason why he feels that way #like if it's specifically something i said‚ if it's that i remind him of all the wonderful times we spent together with his mom‚ or #is it because of his new wife #i don't think i was that much on an influence on his life considering how often he used me and cheated on me-- i'm not a threat #like to their marriage. so i'm inclined to think it's because i remind him of his mom #but not knowing for sure is the worst part of this‚ i think. i know he's hurting‚ and he knows i know what it's like to lose a parent #i want to give back to the family that gave me so much‚ but now that he's shut me out‚ i'm not sure how to do that anymore #ah‚ flea. you'd know what to say. i wish you were here to tell me.

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slippery-minghus · 9 months ago

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lmfao-ing at my coworker who had a running-away-from-her-desk-in-tears meltdown when she didn't credit for something she didn't do.

okay bestie 💅

#girl. GIRL. if you want to have people tell you Thank You For Doing This Thing??#you have to show an OUNCE of initiative and actually Do Some Things!!! even a little!! once in a while!!!#if all you do for 40hrs a week is be a warm body doing 30% of the work that needs doing while LOUDLY COMPLAINING THE WHOLE TIME #then! i think! you're not gonna get a lot of positive reaction??#it's just a thought #personal #while she was having her meltdown i started taking notes #because it was immediately preceded by me asking for her help on a large and very important task and her frankly refusing #she did help when she came back from her meltdown but only a little. and didn't agree to anything #and i know i'm going to be making the rest of those calls outside of the one (1) she made in front of me #i care about my job because if i don't i'll go insane but i am also going insane anyway #and like. she's so fucking toxic that i can't even get thanked for my hard work without her making it about herself #i planned the event from top to bottom. she brought tortillas. which i suggested she bring.#she had a meltdown because she didn't get credit #(and it was a fucking potluck. everyone brought stuff??????)

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mchiti · 1 year ago

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i will delete this post do not reblog but his weirdo brother hinting at him being gay is still the most surreal shit

#can he stop he's sooo. lmao #I guess if you fell out with your brother for whatever reason and he's a 30yo not married man #the thing u do is 'joking' abt him being gay #bc if u a diaspora kid like me u know what the level of the discourse is sadly #we laugh but it's depressing #I guess it didn't help he said 'when u love someone' and not a girl @h. u need to spell out you like girls (if u do ofc)#or the homophobic police will come n get u #btw people actually joke about this I'm. super tired. it's homophobic it's stupid it's toxic u all.

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butchtwelfthdoctor · 8 months ago

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prev re: who is clara oswald you can read all those tags if you like lol sorry i know its a lot but i think the best way to explain it is this uquiz which is called 'who said it? a diehard clara hater or a diehard clara fan?'

she’s cringe. she’s cooler than you. she’s so so smart. she’s the biggest dumbass you’ll ever meet. she’s got mental illnesses the dsm hasn’t even got a name for yet. she’s fine she’s fine she’s great actually she’s the normalest girl in the world. she’s hurt so many people. she regrets it so much. she wants to hurt people again. she’s the most neurotic loser you’ve ever seen. she’s the most confident composed competent member of the team. she lies until she doesn’t know what’s real. she’s even bisexual. i didn’t say her name but she popped into your head didn’t she

#prev uhm you might want to strap in for this one lol #clara is one of the companions in doctor who and fits almost every single one of the criteria on your post to some degree #see usually the doctor has companions because yknow they're cool and they help him stay sane and the doctor needs friends or they #go off the deep and destroy civilisations and then themself #clara manages to make him Worse #she's there for longer than companions usually are and shes awful in a way that's kinda fascinating #like she tries to manipulate him into just taking her where and whenever she wants to go #meet her personal favourite famous people #and he usually just does it #there a bit where her boyfriend dies and she wants him to break the laws of reality to bring him back #and when the doctor says no she kinda loses it #he puts them both in a simulaton thing to see how far she'll go and she strands them on a volcano planet and throws all the keys to the #tardis into the volcano so they are fully stuck there #and when he ends the simulation he's like you betrayed me. but we're toxically codependantly bound so you can stay it's okay #it's messed up #also she has the energy of someone who would kiss other girls at age thirteen causing them to have major life crises and never think about #it ever again #and she dresses like rachel from glee /derogatory #oh and there's this one scene where she says 'sit' to the doctor like you would a dress a pet and he sits back down #yeah #shes got Issues #aaaaaanyways sorry this is a lot i'm not even the best qualified to explain this lol

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yoshistory · 5 months ago

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Realizing I am highly influenced by cognitive distortion of emotional reasoning wrt "I'm made to feel like I'm a girl" -> "I FEEL like I'm a girl, so I must be until I feel MORE like a dude" and sort of throwing all my shit out the window immediately.

#Reading my CBT stuff my therapist sent me and honestly I think I do. all of them #But emotional reasoning cracked me open a little #And feeling ''more like a dude'' is entering an environment where I'm not misgendered/named #Which is usually like. My house and the internet lol #Either that or like looking in the mirror and shit #But it melts off when I re-enter the environment where I'm not gendered correctly. And makes me concede to it #Reacting with emotional interpretation instead of being headstrong about myself even just internally #But knowing the wording for this is helping me change that. It's nice to walk around and feel like myself at work #I think this is also something cis people can experience and can lead to like toxic masculinity #IE 'get called a girl -> act emotionally to prove manhood'#And I know I'm not like unearthing new shit here but it's interesting to connect these lines and see them #And what it's called and motivated by beyond this. What it looks like in others. It's interesting #I think this might even be something cis people have MORE of a problem with if I'm being honest

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princeoftherunaways · 8 months ago

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Did anyone else experience a kind of psychological warfare unlike anything else in community theater as a kid. Or was it just me.

#I'm talking mental emotional #and physical fights every. single. day. worse than anything public school AND catholic school threw at me #which is really saying something #thinking back on it like. huh. i think that was an abusive toxic relationship. and i kept coming back because.#at least it was familiar. and the bar was so low that by virtue of memorizing all my lines i was one of their best actors.#but like. trigger warning for self-harm:#i once had to get in between two parents screaming while also helping a kid self-harming in the dressing room. and I was maybe sixteen????#i did community theater there from age seven to seventeen. fucked up.#I've never forgiven my parents for ignoring when i was being tormented by this one girl. and my sister has never forgiven me #for not protecting her from bullying from that same girl. and i don't blame her.#but anyway. just. angry. on behalf of myself and all other kids who were violent and violated in that place.

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