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blue-mint-winter · 5 months ago

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About Alyssa Targaryen

Alyssa Targaryen, daughter of Jaehaerys and Alysanne and mother of king Viserys I and Daemon the Rogue Prince, is a character recently talked about due to her brief appearance in the TV show. The fan opinions about her seem strangely very positive. She's seen as a cool character and a good mother to her sons, because she took them dragonriding soon after giving birth. In relation to her younger sisters Alyssa is also seen as the better one or lucky for having a happy marriage with her brother and avoiding a more tragic fate. Certainly she's regarded as the most successful among the daughters of Alysanne because her descendants continued the dynasty. I've seen opinions that Jaehaerys and Alysanne only failed as parents to their younger children (from Daella and younger), who caused many problems, but they raised the older ones - Aemon, Baelon, Alyssa, Maegelle and Vaegon - to become good and decent people. There are also voices that she's just another dead mother, her character is uninteresting/unimportant compared to other sisters and she only exists in the story to have sex and birth future main characters.

After I read about Alyssa in Fire and Blood I found that all of the above opinions feel distinctly off the mark, especially in regards to her good character. Alyssa came off to me as rather unpleasant, mean and obssessed with sex, however the in-universe book's author, maester Gyldayn, doesn't portray any of her bad qualities as bad or undesirable in a princess, while at the same time he's very critical of her sisters' displaying similar faults.

Instead Gyldayn's portrayal of Alyssa focuses on showing her as a good sisterwife to Baelon and mother to Viserys and Daemon. That's what maester Gyldayn and Jaehaerys' propaganda want the readers to think about Alyssa while at the same time telling them that she was the most unfeminine woman she could be. That creates a powerful dissonance while reading about her as compared to others.

This post will be an analysis of Alyssa, her role in the family built on incest and how it affected her and her siblings, her relationships with focus on Baelon and Vaegon, her behaviour and causes of it, her effect on her siblings before and after her death. There will be some extrapolation and theorizing, but I hope it's within reason and will make a coherent argument that Alyssa wasn't like what Gyldayn presents her or what many fans think she was. So buckle up, this will be a long one.

Alyssa's role in the family

Alyssa is the second daughter, but she was born after Daenerys died (in the end of the same year, 60 AC), so functionally she's the eldest daughter, but the shadow of Daenerys hangs over her. Alyssa was her replacement in her mother's eyes until Alysanne realized when Alyssa was 6 years old that she didn't take after Daenerys, but Baelon. From a young age Alyssa preferred boy activities and didn't want to spend time with other girls.

The princess did not act like a girl, however. She wore boy’s clothes when she could, shunned the company of other girls, preferred riding and climbing and dueling with wooden swords to sewing and reading and singing, and refused to eat porridge.

One fundamental, glaring difference between young Daenerys and Alyssa was exactly the type of sibling dynamic they had with Aemon and Baelon. Daenerys was their older sister, a little queen and she was bossing them around.

The young princes loved their sister to distraction, it was plain to see, and Daenerys delighted in the boys, “especially in telling them what to do.”

Alyssa was the younger sister who was seeking her big brother's attention. She trailed after Baelon and, as it turns out later, she never really stopped.

Just as Baelon had once followed Aemon everywhere, Alyssa trailed after Baelon. “Like a puppy,” the Spring Prince complained. Baelon was two years younger than Aemon, Alyssa nearly four years younger than him…“and a girl,” which made it far worse in his eyes.

At this point in their lives she was just an annoying younger sister to Baelon.

Daenerys was a leader of her brothers, Alyssa - their follower. Even in the role of the older sister Alyssa was nothing like Daenerys. She wasn't a leader to her own younger siblings, instead she spurned them and stayed distant from them. It's also mentioned 3 times in the book that Daenerys told her pregnant mother that she wanted a younger sister. Alyssa reacted in an opposite way to Deanerys - she didn't want anything to do with her younger sister Maegelle and refused her company.

A gentle, selfless, and sweet-natured girl, and exceedingly bright, she soon attached herself to her sister Alyssa in much the same way that Prince Baelon had attached himself to Prince Aemon, though not entirely as happily. Now it was Alyssa’s turn to bristle at having “the baby” clinging to her skirts. She evaded her as best she could, and Baelon laughed at her fury.

Alyssa's shunning of other girls and having interest in boys' activities sets her apart from her sister. Maybe it was a result of young Alyssa wanting to be different in her mother's eyes than the dead sister she never knew. Probably she just wanted to spend time playing with her brothers so she emulated them. Also, she could have noticed their close bond to their father and tried to earn his love and approval by being like them. It is noticeable that, after losing Daenerys, Jaehaerys was less involved with raising his new children.

On the surface level, it's assumed that Alyssa is just another Arya-type, but I think she has a lot more in common with Cersei in her characteristics and relationships, even though her physical description (mismatched eyes - violet and green, crooked nose after an injury) is reminiscent of Tyrion. Perhaps Alyssa's description is meant to highlight that she's Lannister-coded.

Does the parallel between Alyssa and Cersei foreshadow a similar contrast between Cersei and Daenerys Stormborn in the future books? Perhaps Daenerys will be bossing around both Jaime and Tyrion like her namesake did with Aemon and Baelon.

Alysanne and Jaehaerys announced the betrothals of their older children in 68 AC. That's when it was decided that Alyssa will not take Daenerys' place as Aemon's wife. Instead, Alysanne planned to recreate her own relationship with Jaehaerys by deciding to marry their second son to second/eldest living daughter.

“Alyssa is for Baelon,” she declared. “She has been following him around since she could walk. They are as close as you and I were at their age.”

So a 7 year old Alyssa is told by her mother that she will marry Baelon, her favourite brother, that she's meant for him. That sounds similar to Cersei's belief how she was one with Jaime, that they belonged to each other. Cersei also switched with Jaime, pretending to be him to go to swordplay lessons. Only difference is that Alyssa was encouraged to pursue a romantic relationship with her brother, while Cersei was separated from Jaime and had to keep the affair secret. Alyssa was raised to be her brother's sisterwife and giving him children was the only expectation placed on her by her parents.

The Vaegon Incident

Another similarity between Alyssa and Cersei is that they tormented their little brothers. When I read about the incident with Alyssa pouring wine on Vaegon, I thought it was rather mean and too much. He only said something insensitive to Daella. But one incident of Alyssa being mean can be excused because she defended their younger sister. On the other hand, when she tomented him again, I had to take notice:

One day, mayhaps in an attempt to spur Vaegon into making more of an effort, he brought his sister Alyssa to the yard, shining in man’s mail. The princess had not forgotten the incident of the Arbor gold. Laughing and shouting mockery, she danced around her little brother and humiliated him half a hundred times, whilst Princess Daella looked down from a window. Shamed beyond endurance, Vaegon threw down his sword and ran from the yard, never to return.

Alyssa was 14 and Vaegon was 11. He was training with Baelon for a year at the insistence of their father. The maester claims that Alyssa humiliated Vaegon so badly because of something he'd said a year ago and she'd already punished him for? Either it's true and Alyssa holds grudges like Cersei or... she just hated Vaegon. And I think it wasn't really because of Daella.

Let's rewind to the pouring wine on Vaegon incident.

“I would never marry her,” the boy said, in front of half the court. “She can barely read. She should find some lord in need of stupid children, for that’s the only sort he will ever have of her.” Princess Daella, as might be expected, burst into tears and fled the hall, with her mother, the queen, rushing after her. It fell to her sister Alyssa, at thirteen three years Vaegon’s elder, to pour a flagon of wine over his head. Even that did not make the prince repent. “You are wasting Arbor gold,” was all he said before stalking from the hall to change his clothing.

Notice that Alyssa pours wine on him, but she doesn't say anything like "this is for Daella" or "how could you say that to her". It's only maester Gyldayn's conjecture that she was defending her sister (in his efforts to paint Alyssa as the good one among her sisters and completely unlike the simple-minded, promiscous or vain and ambitious ones). Alyssa and Daella weren't close, Alyssa had no interest in hanging out with her sisters and Daella was scared of her.

Her sister Maegelle became her guiding star, and she worshipped her mother, the queen, but her sister Alyssa seemed to terrify her.

To further prove that the close sibling bond between Alyssa and Daella just didn't exist and was entirely imagined by Gyldayn, let's move on to later years. Daella died in childbirth in 82 AC, I wonder what was Alyssa's take on that if she was such a sister protector and she had her own dragon? Rhaena flew on Dreamfyre and threatened Rogar when her mother, Alyssa Velaryon, died in childbirth and that woman robbed her of the crown. There was a huge rift between Rhaena and her mother for many years and she still came to her mother's deathbed and was deeply affected by her loss. I don't hear anything about Alyssa taking Meleys to the Vale to avenge Daella. Most probably she didn't care that much about Daella. Notice how we never hear anything about her ever interacting with her sisters except that she didn't like Maegelle trailing after her when they were little. Even the so-called defense of Daella happens without Daella being present. Was it really about her at all or was Alyssa just dunking on Vaegon because she had a good pretext? I think the answer is obvious.

If defending Daella wasn't the motivation for the first Vaegon incident then what could have caused Alyssa to lash out at him?

I think it was because Vaegon rebelled against the sibling marriage that was forced on him by their parents.

“Be sweet to your little sister,” King Jaehaerys told the prince when he was five. “One day she will be your Alysanne.”

So Vaegon was told that he's meant for Daella, just like Alyssa is meant for Baelon, but unlike Alyssa, he protested the match and he made sure that everyone knew about it. Gyldayn did say that Vaegon was no coward. It was certainly brave of the boy to defy their parents' will in a public setting. Alyssa never did anything like that. To be fair, Gyldayn never mentioned what was Alyssa's reaction to her betrothal to Baelon. As a child, she might not have understood what it really meant and just agreed. He was her favourite brother after all. In Vaegon's case things were different as he and Daella disliked each other. On Baelon's side of things, he was too dutiful to Alysanne to refuse the match.

At the time of the first Vaegon incident Alyssa is 13, she's older and she understands more about what marriage to Baelon means for her. Maybe she wishes she protested it when she had a chance and now it's too late and she's jealous that Vaegon got to refuse Daella. Maybe she's already so indoctrinated into believing sibling incest is their destiny as Targaryens that she wants to "correct" Vaegon for rebelling against their entire system of belief. What's worse, he wasn't punished for his defiance and forced to marry Daella anyway, but instead he got his way. Alysanne listened to him and convinced Jaehaerys to search for a different, unrelated bride for Vaegon. And Alyssa probably knew that Alysanne was never going to call off the marriage to Baelon.

What's interesting is that first Vaegon incident happens same year that Baelon is knighted, receives Dark Sister and claims Vhagar. Baelon gets the holy insignia and is the new Visenya of his generation. Baelon, not Alyssa, the tomboy who likes swordfighting, who is a Targaryen, a future sisterwife raised on the story of the Conquest. Even if it's not outright said in the text, Alyssa probably idolizes Visenya (like Arya did) and wants to be like her. Aemon will be a king like Aegon, Baelon took the spot of Visenya and all Alyssa has left is to be their Rhaenys and become a mother (also she will like sex in a marriage of love with her brother and die early like Rhaenys). And in fact, her son Viserys became the next king and was similar to Aenys. I wonder if Baelon's knighting happens before or after the first Vaegon incident. In any case, Baelon just took tomboy Alyssa's dream away from her and it will affect her future actions. He's not even a girl and he gets to be Visenya. Just how frustrated and angry Alyssa must be? And who she's going to take it out on? Maybe the younger brother she hates and can bully without any consequences?

After the first incident Vaegon was forced to train with Baelon and spend time with him for a year, but the yard incident was the first time Alyssa was included despite how much she loved training swordplay in her younger days. I'm going to assume that at 13-14 and knowing she'll marry at 15, Alyssa wasn't allowed to train anymore (or her time in the yard was greatly reduced) and instead she was forced into princess/wife lessons, learning to do things she always despised doing (like Cersei). So she sees Vaegon, getting to spend time with Baelon, her favourite brother (is he still her favourite at this point? well, she has no one else she's close to), doing things she likes doing and having absolutely miserable time of it. Alyssa must have been pissed - Vaegon gets to live her dream life at the moment and he dares to complain, he dares to dislike it. She'd kill to be in his position. She's just boiling with anger and envy. If only she was the third son, she wouldn't be forced to play her brother's perfect little bride. She could be just one of the boys and their relationship would remain as it was, uncomplicated. Maybe if she beats Vaegon, it would show everyone that she's better than him, better at being a son. Maybe her parents would realize it and something would finally change.

And of course nothing changed and she was cruel to her little brother for nothing. That's why I called the parallel to Arya rather surface, she never did anything like that to Bran or Rickon, while Cersei's hatred of Tyrion is well-documented. Also, both Vaegon and Tyrion are the bookish younger brothers with no real interest or ability to be warriors. No one defends them from their sisters, not even their parents.

Baelon completes the reenactment of the Lannister sibling dynamic because just like Jaime, he is complicit in the humiliation and traumatizing of his little brother (Vaegon - yard incident, Tyrion - Tysha incident). He brought in Alyssa, he made it happen. I wonder if Jaehaerys told him to do it, like Tywin did with Jaime. It would certainly make sense as Jaehaerys wanted Vaegon to toughen up, so using Alyssa to "motivate" him (train harder, a boy can't be beaten by a girl) could have been his idea all along.

It seems that Alyssa is the answer to the question "what-if Cersei was a Targaryen". And we know Cersei is not a good person at all. There's no evidence in text that Alyssa was a good person beyond her role as Baelon's wife. On the contrary, her treatment of Vaegon, furious rejection of Maegelle's company and non-existent relationship with Daella, who was scared of Alyssa, all prove that she wasn't a good sister to her younger siblings.

The parallels between Alyssa and Cersei are apparent. Even their two sons have some similar characteristics. Viserys and Tommen are seen as weak and soft, Daemon and Joffrey are bloodthirsty and violent.

The parallel of Alyssa to Rhaenys works as well with her son Viserys who is a weak king like Aenys and has warrior, ambitious younger brother Daemon, who was even called "second Maegor" by his contemporaries.

Marriage and dragonriding

After marriage Alyssa claims a dragon, Meleys (name starting with M like Meraxes, Rhaenys' dragon) but at first she wanted to claim Balerion, however the dragonkeepers talked her out of it.

Like her brothers before her, Alyssa Targaryen meant to be a dragonrider, and sooner rather than later. Aemon had flown at seventeen, Baelon at sixteen. Alyssa meant to do it at fifteen.

Again, Alyssa trailing after her brothers, trying to outdo them.

Meleys was as swift a dragon as Westeros had ever seen, easily outpacing Caraxes and Vhagar when she and her brothers flew together.

That really all sounds like a competition that Alyssa is constantly participating in against her brothers, but it's all in her head. She didn't claim the bigger dragon, so she took the faster one. Even her exaggerated bragging about sex sounds like she's trying to be manlier than Baelon.

Speaking of the real competition, Alyssa wasn't a participant, but she was a vital part of it. The competition from the start was between Baelon and Aemon. Baelon was always following his older brother. He started to learn swordfighting early to catch up, had public duels with him, got knighted and claimed Vhagar - a bigger and stronger dragon than Aemon's Caraxes - at 16, so he did it at an earlier age than Aemon did (he was 17). He wanted to outdo his elder brother and marrying Alyssa was a part of that competition. Baelon gets a dragonriding sisterwife, the eldest of their sisters, the one that Jaehaerys intended for Aemon the heir. Aemon marries only their aunt with a small amount of Targaryen blood and without the Valyrian look, who will never claim a dragon. So all around, for Baelon the marriage to Alyssa is a big win over his brother. He's more like their father King than Aemon is, he's more worthy of his love (being the heir).

Young Alyssa saw how close Baelon and Aemon were - it seems natural that she wanted to be included in their competition. But the brother she focused more on was Baelon, not necessarily Aemon (though outdoing Baelon is almost guaranteed to be the same as outdoing Aemon as well). She was trailing after Baelon, she wanted to be as close to him as Aemon, have that sibling bond. Her idea to claim Balerion, the only dragon bigger than Baelon's Vhagar, not to mention the Conqueror's dragon, would have allowed her to outdo both of her brothers. Choosing Meleys, a red dragon just like Aemon's Caraxes, but faster than both of their dragons, puts her on at least equal footing with Aemon, and as a superior to both of them in terms of speed. In the air, they aren't better than she is.

Aemon marries Jocelyn when he's 15 and she's 16, while Baelon is 13 and Alyssa is 9. Alyssa marries Baelon when she's 15 and he's 18. Looks like the wedding was rushed a year because the other princesses married at 16. The reason might be that after Rhaenys was born Jocelyn became unable to give birth again so the king and queen wanted Baelon and Alyssa to quickly make a future husband for Rhaenys. Or Jaehaerys already decided to pass over Rhaenys in succession and saw Baelon as Aemon's heir, therefore Baelon needed a male heir too. Or it was all still part of the brotherly competition of who has a son first.

It's also interesting that Alyssa didn't get pregnant right after the wedding despite the reported frequent sexlife of the couple. She gave birth to Viserys in 77 AC, when she was 17, so she waited around a year before getting pregnant. Daemon was born in 81 AC and Aegon in 84 AC. There was some family planning involved with these mostly even rest periods between pregnancies. For example, Rhaenyra had her second son after a year and the third son was born after 2 years. It's most likely that Alyssa was drinking moon tea, while Baelon was enthusiastic to have sons (and get a win over Aemon). All I'm saying is that this marriage wasn't just pure passion on her side. Alyssa agreed to give children to Baelon, but she controlled when it happened (unlike her mother who was forced to birth Valerion in 77 AC, same year as Viserys, then Gael in 80 AC). That's another similarity with Cersei, who admitted to controlling her own procreation, whose children she had, how many and when.

I think Alyssa wanted to have the time in between pregnancies to pursue her hobbies. Within fortnight after birthing her sons she takes them flying on her dragon and it's not because she wants to give them legendary beginnings - it's probably because she wasn't allowed to fly for months during the pregnancy and she was just impatient to do it again.

Despite claiming a dragon, Alyssa was still excluded. She wasn't allowed to help her brothers and father during the 4th Dornish War. They would never risk her dying like queen Rhaenys in Dorne. Alyssa never used her dragon or sword skills for anything (except humiliating Vaegon). When she tells Baelon that he's made for battles and she for birthing his children, I wonder if it was how she really felt inside? Was she just resigned to her fate at that point? That no matter how much she tried, she will never be a son to Jaehaerys or an equal partner to Baelon and Aemon. She will never be Visenya.

We know that if Cersei or Arya had a dragon, they'd go apeshit with power and go off burning their enemies. And you tell me Alyssa never had a thought to fly to Oldtown and burn the Citadel as the last "fuck you" to Vaegon? Never wanted to burn the Dornish ships alongside her brothers? Never dreamed to go exploring the world? Maybe she was satisfied with Baelon and he kept her home like an anchor. She wouldn't fly off without him. Maybe he and Vhagar ensured she stayed put in King's Landing. Alyssa fully accepted her role as the mother of Baelon's sons. She bent the rules of conforming to her gender, but she couldn't truly break them or she would have lost her privileges.

The truth of Alyssa's character is that in the end she always followed the rules set by her parents. In that way she was a dutiful daughter.

Sex and dragonriding

Sex and dragonriding were Alyssa's favorite activities and she spent hours on both. In her own words she likens them to each other. She says she mounted and rode Baelon and after claiming Meleys she compares herself to her dragon saying that they were both mounted and so lost their virginity.

“Red maidens, the two of us,” the princess boasted, laughing, “but now we’ve both been mounted.”

There's no mention if adult Alyssa still continued sparring, climbing and other masculine activities she preferred in her youth, but most likely she had to give them up in order not to risk any miscarriage. Instead she spent her time on sex and dragonriding - both physical activities that she was allowed and expected to perform. But the way she did them so much, so excessively is rather odd and has implications on her state of mind.

The princess was seldom long away from the Dragonpit after that day. Flying was the second sweetest thing in the world, she would oft say, and the very sweetest thing could not be mentioned in the company of ladies.

Except she did mention it when she announced that she rode Baelon and was going to do it again.

It seems that Alyssa replaced sparring in the yard with another activity she was doing exclusively with Baelon - having sex with him. Moreover, she puts emphasis on riding him, being on top. It suggests that she was still trying to outdo him. It was definitely a way for her to take control of some aspect of her life and their relationship.

Some readers dismiss passages about Alyssa's sexlife as just Gyldayn being gross and perverted. Her sexual behavior is brushed off as unimportant despite how uncommon and even unique her actions were. I can't think of any other female character in ASOIAF acting this way (let me know if there was one), even among the ones who liked sex.

The bride was fifteen, the groom eighteen. Unlike their father and mother, Baelon and Alyssa did not wait to consummate their union; the bedding that followed their wedding feast was the source of much ribald humor in the days that followed, for the young bride’s sounds of pleasure could be heard all the way to Duskendale, men said. A shyer maid might have been abashed by that, but Alyssa Targaryen was as bawdy a wench as any barmaid in King’s Landing, as she herself was fond of boasting. “I mounted him and took him for a ride,” she declared the morning after the bedding, “and I mean to do the same tonight. I love to ride.”

Alyssa is a 15 year old child bride who was so loud during her first time having sex that everyone in the castle heard it and talked about it, then she told them all her favorite sex position. And she was boasting about it. That is not a normal behavior of a girl that just lost her virginity. Gyldayn is weird not because he reported her abnormal actions and words, but because he tries to make them sound like a good thing and not something actually concerning. Just because she's so eager to have sex with her husband, it's all good and fun. And even then, she's compared to a bawdy barmaid (I'm not exactly sure from this wording if Alyssa is boasting that she's bawdy like a barmaid or Gyldayn compares her to a bawdy barmaid because she was fond of boasting about her sexlife). Gyldayn treats this story like a humorous anecdote.

Even if Alyssa was just a horny teenager, why was she so shamelessly discussing her wedding night in public? The reasons I could think of are:

An attempt to act more like a man than a woman by boasting of a sexual "conquest" (another question is if she even knew how women act, she wasn't close to any, but I'm going to assume she knew normal conduct and chose to act differently on purpose).

To say: "I was on top, so I'm the real boss in this marriage".

To embarrass and shame the gossiping courtiers (maybe? But then she kept having loud sex so maybe not).

As a passive-aggressive form of rebellion against her parents - "you can make me marry, but I'm going to act in a way that's as scandalous and embarrassing to you as possible while technically obeying the rules and doing what I'm supposed to do".

Because she feels so euphoric after the sex and she has a poor impulse control, so she's oversharing.

Because being shameless and bawdy is a part of her personality now.

Alyssa's unusual sexual behaviour is dismissed as her just being a horny teenager or having high sex drive or being so in love with Baelon or all of the above. The fact is that Alyssa's sexual habits didn't change until she died at 24 after complications from childbirth.

Alyssa's promiscuous behavior could be caused by her still emulating Baelon and following his lead like in her childhood. When they married he was 18, older and more knowledgeable. Baelon was a lusty lad, so she became bawdy like a barmaid to match him.

I think it can be argued that Alyssa exhibits signs of sex addiction.

Prince Baelon had not ceased smiling since his marriage. When not aloft, Baelon and Alyssa spent every hour together, most oft in their bedchamber. Prince Baelon was a lusty lad, for those same shrieks of pleasure that had echoed through the halls of the Red Keep on the night of their bedding were heard many another night in the years that followed.

One thing is being newlyweds, the other is spending many hours having sex and making it a habit for 9 years of marriage. From the sound of it Alyssa's life revolved around dragonriding and sex, excluding any other activities and company of other people. It seems extremely unhealthy. Spending this much time and focus on sex sounds like she's addicted.

Against all advice, his mother clapped the boy in swaddling clothes, strapped him to her chest, and took him aloft on Meleys when he was nine days old.

Unnecessary risky behaviour resulting in child endagerment? Check. That's what an addict would do. Their inhibitions and impulse control are often lowered.

Another sign of sexual addiction is "engaging in sexual behaviors that go against your personal values, religious beliefs or what society deems appropriate". Alyssa's loud sex and boasting about it definitely aren't what Westerosi society deems appropriate.

Next sign of sex addiction is engaging in paraphilia, like exhibitionism, voyeurism, sadomasochism. Alyssa's behavior is almost exhibitionistic. She's definitely skirting an edge here. She doesn't expose her sexlife to other people's eyes, but to their ears.

“They call me Baelon the Brave,” the prince told his wife at her bedside, “but you are far braver than me. I would sooner fight a dozen battles than do what you’ve just done.” Alyssa laughed at him. “You were made for battles, and I was made for this. Viserys and Daemon and Aegon, that’s three. As soon as I am well, let’s make another. I want to give you twenty sons. An army of your own!”

This quote says a lot. Baelon praised her for being so brave, because childbirth is dangerous and women died because of it - their grandmother Alyssa Velaryon, their sister Daella just died recently, their mother had difficult births with Valerion and Gael. Alyssa just laughs it off, dismisses his worry. She doesn't see the danger. Well, she survived it 3 times, so she's different than other women (she's not as she later doesn't recover and dies at 24). She wants to get back to it ASAP - or rather to the babymaking. That's a risky behavior that disregards her health in pursuit of what she's addicted to. She wants to get her fix.

All of this put together paints Alyssa as at least sex obssessed if not sex addicted, especially the amount of time she dedicates to it and her risktaking, reckless attitude, against justified worries of Baelon or maesters advice. Gyldayn could be exaggerating. Or he's just saying it how it was but makes it into a humorous, romantic tale. Of brother and sister that do nothing but fly on dragons and have sex. That's their entire marriage life. But the focus put on it really makes it look unusual. Jaehaerys and Alysanne had 13 children, but there are no "heartwarming" tales about how much time they spent in the bedroom.

Alyssa expressed a belief that she was made for giving birth, for procreation. She accepts her assigned role in life and finds as much enjoyment as she could in fulfilling it. There's nothing else. She was raised to do only this and the indoctrination worked too well. Alysanne wanted the couple to be like her own marriage and Alyssa emulates her by planning to have a bunch of kids, even though Alysanne was so much more to Jaehaerys - advisor, diplomat, lawmaker. Baelon even told Aemon that he leaves making law to him, because he prefers to make sons.

“I will leave the making of law to you, brother,” Prince Baelon declared, whilst drinking to Prince Aemon’s appointment. “I would sooner make sons.”

Apart from her environment and fulfilling expectations what could be the other causes of Alyssa's sexual behavior? It could be related to many mental health problems and we know Targaryens as a family have a predisposition to them. If she's addicted, it could be a response to personal trouble. A tomboy is forced to be a traditional wife, giving up her dreams. It could be a coping mechanism if she was feeling depression. Sex raises mood like alcohol. An addict wants to forget his troubles and just feel good. Alyssa's younger sisters, Saera and Viserra, also showed signs of addiction, both getting drunk when they were young teenagers. Saera at 12, Viserra at 15.

Alysanne was pregnant with Valerion and Gael around the time of both of Alyssa's pregnancies. I wonder what does it do to a pregnant woman to watch her mother be forced into risky pregnancies, having difficult labour and recovering for half a year after that? Did she feel like she was seeing her own future? That this will be her in 20 years? But it's too depressing to think about, so she had to ignore, repress, deny it. She was different, younger, stronger, she was in control of her body, Baelon wouldn't do that to her. This is her battle and she was made for this, she's a warrior. Her mother survived it 13 times, so Alyssa will too. Better stop thinking about it and go have sex or fly on a dragon.

Alyssa having depression may seem like a leap but as I said - she has a good reason. She's a tomboy turned housewife at 15. What are her real feelings on the marriage? Gyldayn never provides anything substantial. He says outright that "Prince Baelon had not ceased smiling since his marriage" and links it with all the sex he was having. Why didn't he say instead "Baelon and Alyssa were smiling", just Baelon? What about Alyssa? She's constantly dragonriding or having sex. Both of those activities are keeping her way from all other people except Baelon. It looks like she's isolating herself. When she interacts with others, she's bawdy and boasting about her sexlife (after wedding night, after claiming Meleys) or reaffirms her role in life as a childbearer (to Baelon and in front of the maesters after she gave birth to Aegon).

Alyssa's solitary activities after marriage and over the top enthusiasm for sex may be covering up her feelings of dissatisfaction with her life. Look at the similarity to her son Daemon, he had a reputation for his abundant sexlife and patronage of brothels when he was unhappily married to Rhea Royce. He couldn't even hold any position on a Small Council for long and Otto was undermining him and taking the spot as his brother's chief councilor. Daemon had plenty of reasons to be unhappy and dissatisfied with his life and that's when he was behaving promiscuously. Then it all disappeared after Rhea's death and him choosing a new wife for himself. It's likely Alyssa passed the predisposition to sex addiction to her son.

Other character acting similar to Alyssa in the series would be Robert Baratheon - a chief example of a depressed sex addict, but he was masking it by feasting and getting drunk all the time. Alyssa's main parallel, Cersei, became an alcoholic, which is just another type of addiction. Cersei also exhibited risky sexual behavior by having an affair with Jaime, having his children and everything that followed from that (like sex in the Broken Tower, her affair with Lancel).

Taking into account all of the above I'd say it looks like Alyssa developed a sex addiction and any type of addiction signifies deep personal trouble that one tries to forget/cope with.

Gyldayn portrays the marriage as happy, but the only one who was shown as happy was Baelon. Gyldayn sees that Alyssa liked sex, satisfied her husband's sexual needs all the time, accepted her role as a mother and gave birth to sons so he treats it like a successful marriage. But he doesn't care about what Alyssa felt, only Baelon.

Alyssa - the role model for Saera and Viserra

Alyssa resembles Cersei because of her "I'm not like the other girls" attitude. She wants to be in the boys' club with Aemon and Baelon and has nothing in common with her sisters. And she's said to avoid other girls' company. It's all rather strange. In a way she's like Alysanne, who was purposely deprived of female friends in her childhood by her mother, however in Alyssa's case it was a choice.

Despite Alyssa's distance she had a profound effect on both Saera and Viserra as their older sister. She was supposed to be their role model as a Targaryen princess. They were probably constantly compared to her and told that she's a good wife. If they want to be successful, they should be like Alyssa. Unfortunately for the younger girls, Alyssa is in fact a terrible role model.

Saera is the most similar to Alyssa out of all their sisters. This comparison is explicitly stated in the book, as according to her maesters Saera was:

as strong and quick and spirited as her sister Alyssa.

The similarities between the family's problem child and the parentally approved older sister are also in their behaviour, which Saera was probably copying off Alyssa. Saera even wanted to claim Balerion like Alyssa initially did before the dragonkeepers changed her mind. It's also interesting to note that:

Septon Barth tells us that Saera’s sisters all misliked her to various degrees.

That means Alyssa shared the common dislike for Saera despite keeping general distance from all her sisters and the 6 year age gap. What reason Alyssa would have to dislike Saera? I think the most possible reason was that Saera became Jaehaerys' favourite and could get anything she wanted, despite her general mayhem and misbehavior. Meanwhile, Alyssa's efforts to please him, first by being like the boys, then obediently marrying Baelon, didn't get her anything she wanted, apart from a dragon that she wasn't allowed to use for battle or for any other purpose than leisure flying. Jaehaerys was never the same after Saera's escape to Essos but there was no mention of his reaction to Alyssa's death. It's clear that Saera had his affection without trying, but Alyssa didn't, so Alyssa had a good reason to be jealous of Saera and dislike her.

Going in chronological order, the first similarity between Alyssa and Saera was their cruel and humiliating treatment of those who couldn't even defend themselves from them - their own siblings. Alyssa was cruel to her little brother Vaegon and humiliated him so badly that he completely gave up on learning the sword despite keeping up with it for a year, but no one ever mentions her actions as something bad. Vaegon was an unpopular, bookish and unhappy boy that wasn't good at traditional male activities like fighting, so Alyssa could bully him without any repercussions and even with a tacit permission from their father (reminds me of Sam Tarly situation). No wonder he lost confidence, closed off and took the first chance to leave the family that didn't love or protect him. No wonder he only visited when he was summoned and his letters to Alysanne were perfunctory.

Was Saera emulating Alyssa's cruelty? It's very possible. Saera was 6 and 7 years old when the two incidents of Alyssa bullying Vaegon happened. Saera might not have seen them (it's likely she did), but she definitely heard of them and saw how Alyssa was unpunished. It must have emboldened Saera's own cruel streak. Her first childhood victim was Daella who she kept scaring with her pranks (the prank with hiding bees in a chamberpot was definitely dangerous and cruel). Daella was an easy target as she was mentally disabled and delicate. Septon Barth noted Saera's jealousy of the attention Daella was getting from their mother. After Daella left, Saera started playing cruel and humiliating pranks on another mentally disabled person, the court fool Tom Turnip.

It's also worth noting that both Vaegon and Daella were in Jaehaerys' disfavour because they both failed to meet his expectations. Both were avoiding marriage in their own ways, Vaegon lacked martial talent and Daella's mental disability was the proof against the king's Targaryen supremacy propaganda. Jaehaerys was the driving force to send them away from their home, never to return. It seems that Alyssa was used by their father to teach Vaegon a lesson. Saera not only picked up on Jaehaerys' dislike for Daella, but also on his quiet approval of Alyssa's bullying of Vaegon. She knew it was allowed.

The next similarity between sisters was in their hypersexual behaviour. Saera was 8 years old when Alyssa got married and the tale of her wedding night spread. She must have heard some of Alyssa's boasting about sex, saying how much she loved it, or the often occuring loud sex sounds coming from her bedroom. It continued until Alyssa's death when Saera was 16, nearly 17. Saera's formative years were spent influenced by her sister's sex-obssessed example. Alyssa's behaviour was accepted by all, approved by their parents despite how unusual it was. It's no wonder Saera took a cue from her older sister and began her own sexual explorations as a teenager with her group of friends. She even sought out the older and more experienced Braxton Beesbury to be her Baelon substitute.

Like Alyssa, Saera also exhibited signs of sex addiction - risky sexual behavior, sex with multiple partners, sexually humiliating pranks on Tom Turnip (voyeuristic in nature - she wanted to see him naked, to see him having sex). We know she had an addictive personality as she became alcoholic when she was 12 years old.

Saera's scandalous sexual conduct was caught by her parents after Alyssa's death, in the same year. And she even used as one of her justifications that "Baelon used to kiss Alyssa all the time", proving that she took notice of their relationship and how sex-focused it was. She learned from them that a happy, successful marriage is based on having sex all the time. At the same time, the only other example she had was her parents, who were becoming distant from each other and stopped having sex (and their reasons for disagreeing were Daella's death and Jaehaerys forcing 2 risky pregnancies on Alysanne, which endagered her life). Aemon and Jocelyn lived on Dragonstone, so they couldn't serve as a more normal example of a married couple for Saera.

Viserra was also affected by Alyssa's bad example. She witnessed Alyssa's marriage from the age of 4 to 13 years old, so for most of her young life. According to Alysanne:

"She aims much higher, our Viserra. I have seen the way she preens and prances around Baelon. That is the husband she desires, and not for love of him. She wants to be the queen.”

So Alysanne started losing it because she thought that Viserra wanted to be the queen, while Aemon was the heir and married, so marrying Baelon would not make her a queen. Unless she suspected the sly Viserra to have a plan to get rid of Aemon and Rhaenys to get to the throne after marrying Baelon. However, the one who explicitly stated that she wanted to be a queen was Saera, not Viserra. Alysanne was confusing her daughters. Previously she had more accurate insights on her children. Maybe she was spending less time with them and focusing more on young Gael.

Alysanne statement has to be taken with a grain of salt, it's not entirely factual, but rather her opinion on Viserra. She can't allow Alyssa to be replaced in Baelon's heart, as she fashioned their marriage in the image of her own with Jaehaerys. She believes that Baelon and Alyssa are the true love story, so he can never remarry. Her solution to the danger of Viserra replacing Alyssa is to betroth her to the old lord Manderly. That way she'll stay far away from Baelon and Alyssa's memory will be preserved.

Viserra understandably protests the betrothal, but her parents are unyielding, so she decides to seduce Baelon by sneaking into his bed naked and drunk. The thing is, that behaviour wasn't Viserra's usual MO. She was known for playing with boys like puppies, manipulating them to do what she wanted and sending them on foolish quests. She wasn't a seductress. Then why did she take this straightforward approach with Baelon and just jumped into his bed?

“He married one sister, why not another?” Viserra told her closest friend, the empty-headed Beatrice Butterwell. “I am much prettier than Alyssa ever was, you saw her. She had a broken nose.”

This quote proves Viserra's interest in Baelon and also provides a lead to the reason for Viserra's actions. Based on what Viserra saw of Baelon's relationship with Alyssa, she concluded that Baelon only cares about sex and the only way to get his attention is to offer him her body. Viserra doesn't know how to interact with or romance her older brother. Alyssa spent most of her time with him by having sex, so that must be how it's done, right? It sounds like Viserra is unaware if there was anything other than sex between Alyssa and Baelon. She even thinks that he wouldn't care which sister he's having sex with.

It's important to note that Viserra is vain, but she is not stupid. She's described as sly and capable of manipulating people to do what she wants. A skilled manipulator has to be observant and notice things about people. And those are the conclusions she drew about Baelon and Alyssa's marriage which she observed for most of her life - that all he cared about was having sex with his sisterwife, that all a good sisterwife had to do was to be sexually available. It's possible that Viserra didn't understimate Baelon's actual loyalty to dead Alyssa, but only his sense of duty and honour. He didn't take advantage of her, even when she offered, but if his parents ordered him to marry her, he'd probably obey them like he always did.

Alyssa is seen as different and better then her younger sisters despite all the evidence to the contrary. The positive spin on her qualities is like the opposite of the negative spin on her sisters' characters. Basically, she gets special treatment (from both her parents and Gyldayn) because she married Baelon and fulfills the traditional role of wife and mother. On the other hand, when her sisters follow her example or want the same things she had, they are villainized. Saera is called "an evil child" by her septa, then "a whore" by her father and heavily punished, forced to watch her father kill her lover, Viserra is labeled as ambitious and manipulative by her mother.

Maegelle, Alyssa and the incestous family planning

Maegelle seems to most people like the sister that had the least to do with Alyssa, had a good life as a septa and was lucky to escape her sisters' various tragic fates. However, she was heavily impacted as a child by Alyssa and also their parents' plans for both of them.

Alyssa broke the chain of younger siblings trailing after the elder. Baelon followed Aemon, Alyssa followed Baelon, but when Maegelle tried to follow her, Alyssa was completely against it. Probably she just didn't want Maegelle joining the dynamic Alyssa had with their brothers, getting close to them and taking away their affection.

Maegelle joined the Faith of the Seven in 73 AC when she was 10 years old. It can be argued that Alysanne was always going to send one daughter to Oldtown, but did it have to be Maegelle and not Daella, Saera or Viserra at a later date? Maegelle could have married Vaegon or someone else, so why didn't she?

Jaehaerys' idea for arranging marriages was pretty simple, he wanted to pair them up by the order of birth - eldest son to eldest daughter, second son to second daughter and so on. It was Alysanne who had to intervene and tell him who liked who, he had no clue about the relationships between his children. According to Jaehaerys' matchmaking plan, Aemon would have married Alyssa, so logically I assume next would be Baelon and Maegelle, Vaegon and Daella. Alysanne must have seen problems with that, like the age gaps - 6 years between Aemon and Alyssa, 5 years between Baelon and Maegelle. She also made Jocelyn sit next to Aemon during a feast for his investiture as Prince of Dragonstone when he was 7 and saw that the two got along really well. So that is one example of Alysanne's successful matchmaking and arranged well in advance before the betrothals were made.

It's likely that Maegelle's future was sacrificed to appease the Faith so they wouldn't oppose another full sibling marriage - between Alyssa and Baelon. And that's why when the betrothals were made in 68 AC, Jaehaerys told Vaegon that he will marry Daella, not Maegelle who was older.

I wonder if Maegelle became pious because she was being prepared for her life as a septa or it had something to do with Alyssa rejecting her company. Maybe the religion provided Maegelle with some comfort and friendship. Maybe she didn't want to marry her brother or anyone at all and becoming a septa allowed her to avoid that fate. The opposite was also possible, what if Maegelle only wanted to please and imitate Alysanne, who was pious herself, but she didn't actually want to become a septa? Maybe she became pious because she was praying for something specific, had some wish? The point is we will never know what Maegelle wanted to do with her life as she was never asked and the choice was taken from her before she was grown enough to make it. And the same thing happened sooner or later to all the other siblings. In any case, Alysanne removed Maegelle from the marriage plans so that Alyssa could marry Baelon.

Was it fair to Maegelle to decide her whole life for her when she was so young? Was it fair to do the same to Alyssa or any of their other siblings? The moral of the story of all the children of Jaehaerys and Alysanne is simple - that parents controlling their children's future and deciding their whole lives and careers when they are 5-10 years old is unfair, awful and often has tragic consequences. Maegelle is as much of a victim here, she was said to be bright and studious as a child, she had intelligence and potential for greatness that was squandered by sending her to be a septa. Funny that Alysanne didn't notice that Maegelle, not Alyssa, was the most like her out of all her daughters. Maegelle with her gentleness, caring for the weak like Daella, charitableness could have been the next Good Queen.

Maegelle is regarded as the only sister that got away from tragedies of her siblings. But she was made to join a religious order as a child. She never had a choice or an opportunity to be anything different. When she died, nursing patients with greyscale, she was only 34 years old. She didn't even reach middle age. She lived only 10 years longer than Alyssa. Ironically, Saera could have outlived them all, as the last time she was mentioned, she was alive at age 34 during the Great Council of 101 AC.

Alyssa despite being portrayed as accepting of her duty and even enthusiastic about having more children, isn't the happy exception, the successful daughter. She has to give up on any of her previous dreams and aspirations, she has power - a dragon, that she's not allowed to use in battle as equal with her brothers. Despite having the role of Rhaenys she can't fight alongside her brothers, she has to stay behind and be protected by them. She's reduced to being just a wife and mother and it seems to me that her enthusiasm about sex is at best her simply finding pleasure and control in what little she's allowed to have and do. She makes the best of what she has because what else she can do? It can be even argued that she showed signs of sex addiction and was hiding her dissatisfaction and depression. She dies at 24 from complications after childbirth.

Both Alyssa and Maegelle were obedient daughters who spent their lives fulfilling their parents' expectations, following the paths they didn't choose, and died as a result without even reaching middle age. They are both tragic, but their parents, Gyldayn - and through them the book readers - don't realize it.

After Alyssa's death

After Alyssa's death her shadow is cast over her younger sisters. Saera and Viserra are condemned for pursuing what was once granted to Alyssa. They can't have a brother, a lover or a dragon. They aren't allowed to fill her shoes. Alysanne projects herself on Alyssa and won't let a younger and prettier queen take her place. You know she just hates the idea of Jaehaerys marrying a new woman after she's gone, because it would disprove their eternal love, so Baelon has to be forever Alyssa's.

Alyssa isn't just a distant elder sister and bad role model for her younger sisters (who get punished for acting like she did - that's a big parenting failure of Jaehaerys and Alysanne). Her ghost deeply affects Baelon who isn't allowed to stop mourning her for the rest of his life. It's written like a proof of their great love that he couldn't move on, but what if he eventually wanted to? Baelon couldn't find happiness again after Alyssa because that would disappoint Alysanne and he was too dutiful to her. So he was stuck in this loyalty to a dead wife for 16 years (85 AC to 101 AC).

Though shattered by his loss, Baelon took solace in the two strong sons that she had left him, Viserys and Daemon, and never ceased to honor the memory of his sweet lady with the broken nose and mismatched eyes.

I find it interesting that only Baelon's reaction to her death was mentioned. Compared to the other siblings dying, usually we are told Alysanne's and/or Jaehaerys' reaction. They probably mourned her, but didn't see her death at 24 due to complications after childbirth as overly tragic. They probably thought that these things happen and there was nothing they could do. They don't realize that expecting Alyssa to keep having more children was what killed her. She had two sons, but to carry on the family tradition of sibling marriages, they needed her to have a daughter. Baelon wanted a girl, a sisterwife for his son, to continue the cycle in the next generation.

Gyldayn's description of Baelon's reaction to Alyssa's death seems overly sugary. He's trying to make their relationship look as romantic as possible, but calling her "sweet lady with the broken nose and mismatched eyes" ruins the effect. In what way Alyssa was ever sweet to anyone? Calling attention to her broken nose and mismatched eyes is rather weird, as they are physical imperfections. It's causing the whiplash, a dissonance between what was told and shown. How much of this statement by Gyldayn is even true?

Conclusions

Alyssa Targaryen is a complex character beyond being a wife and mother. She's distant from most of her siblings but has a significant influence and impact on their lives. The only one she's close to is Baelon and she tries to compete with him and Aemon. She bullied Vaegon, furiously rejected Maegelle, scared Daella and set a bad example of sexual behavior to Saera and Viserra. What's more, Alyssa's character isn't good or nice or even responsible. She's cruel, bawdy and competitive, avoids company of other girls and her sisters, because she thinks she's different (better) than them. She dismisses the danger of childbirth and unnecessarily risks her newborn sons when she takes them dragonriding.

Alyssa is deeply indoctrinated by her parents to believe in Targaryen supremacy ideology and accepts her role as a sisterwife and childbearer. She follows the rules set by them and is rewarded and praised for it. Despite that, she's likely depressed and coping by having sex or dragonriding. She exhibits signs of having a sex addiction, which is likely because her younger sisters and son Daemon also had addictive personalities. Her marriage life consists of having sex for most of the time and only her husband is mentioned to be happy with it. She's not allowed to express and pursue her own goals and the cases of her bullying Vaegon seem to be her lashing out because he rebelled against his parents' plans for his future.

Many existing similaries prove that the Alyssa is the answer to the question: "what if Cersei was a Targaryen?" She also resembles queen Rhaenys in her dynamic with her older brothers.

Alyssa's death isn't seen as tragic, despite her dying at 24 after giving birth to a third son they didn't need. She died young and for unnecessary reason. Her death was in vain as the child didn't live through infancy. The only one who was said to be mourning her was Baelon, who became a martyr of their great, lost love, and a sad widower for the rest of his life to appease Alysanne, who saw his marriage to Alyssa as a mirror to her own marriage with Jaehaerys.

Alyssa is not the one good, unproblematic daughter that Jaehaerys and Alysanne raised. Their bad parenting affected her as well as every single one of her siblings, even Maegelle, whose future was sacrificed so that Alyssa and Baelon could marry.

Jaehaerys and Alysanne weren't good parents to any of their children, including Alyssa. They decided their children's future paths when they were still too young and didn't finish growing, and then expected them to follow those plans. In result, most of the siblings died, either due to obeying their parent's will (Daenerys, Aemon, Alyssa, Maegelle, Daella) or rebelling against it (Viserra, Gael). The 3 remaining ones (Baelon, Vaegon, Saera) didn't die, but endured much suffering and hardship in their lives as an effect of their parents' control over them.

I worked on this for a week, so I hope it's interesting and at least provides some food for thought. I'm open to questions and more discussion, so you can send asks. I might write more analysis on Jaehaerys and Alysanne's bad parenting method and maybe some other topics related to their reign.

#alyssa targaryen #fire and blood #asoiaf theories #asoiaf meta #maegelle targaryen #vaegon targaryen #baelon the brave #baelon targaryen #king jaehaerys #jaehaerys the conciliator #alysanne targaryen #saera targaryen #viserra targaryen #my meta #my thoughts

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urf1lterr · 1 year ago

Text

moonlight | m.yg [1]

next chapter: soon

summary: when it’s finally the week of your big sister's wedding, you’re more than excited for it to be over as responsibilities come flying your way. however, you can’t seem to stop thinking about a particular groomsman with blonde hair.

pairing: groomsman!yoongi x bridesmaid!y/n

genre: wedding!au, strangers to lovers au | awkward, fluff, angst, mature

word count: 7.4k

status: in progress

author’s note: reposting this bc i miss him. i’ve been wanting to do this for sooooo long but never had time- still don’t but oops.

Sleep is what you really needed right now, especially when you already lacked it in your daily life. But no, that wasn’t really an option right now, not when you had to wait for your sister to pick you up from the airport and get dinner afterwards.

Realistically, you could’ve slept on the plane ride here, but you hated the seat you were in. At first, you sat in the aisle seat because it was always the fastest way to exit afterwards, but you had to give that up when a man probably in his late 50s basically ordered you to move to the middle because older people need "more" room.

You weren’t happy, but you weren’t about to argue because of this.

All you wanted to do right now was go to your old bedroom and change into some comfy sweats and an oversized t-shirt before pulling your blankets over your head to sleep in peace. You knew it was not going to happen any time soon, but a girl can wish.

As you finally saw your suitcases at the baggage claim area, you grabbed one, almost falling by how large and heavy it was. You cursed at yourself for overpacking, but you were staying in town for two weeks and could not risk the chance of not having enough clothes. Luckily, your other suitcase was fairly smaller.

Walking to the other side of the terminal, you saw the exit to the pick up area, immediately moving your legs faster because you couldn’t wait to get out of here. There were too many people walking slow, it surprised you how calm you’ve lasted.

Once you reached a bench in front of the area, you noticed that the weather was not that great. It was raining, which you loved- but your sister planned most of her events outside so this is probably going to make her cry for hours.

And you really don't wanna be the shoulder she cries on- she is very dramatic when she sobs.

Pulling out your phone, you noticed you received three texts. One from your sister, mom, and boss.

[mom] 5:57pm: were you able to land safely? don’t look tired and try not to be introverted, namjoon’s mother is joining us for dinner. put on some makeup, love you!

Rolling your eyes, you shook your head. You weren’t surprised in the slightest, you knew how your mother was. She didn’t mean any harm, but she loves to impress others. By looking a bit tidy, she thinks people wouldn’t think lowly of us. However, she fails to understand that we’ve known your future brother-in-law’s family for almost six years now, you don’t believe they will call off the wedding by seeing their future daughter-in-law’s little sister bare faced.

Plus, his mother is the sweetest. If anything, she always told you how much she loved seeing natural faces compared to the overdose of products people nowadays use in which she refers to “tiktok trends.”

[jae] 6:01pm: the office is going to miss you! tell ur sister congrats again, and then do it again for me once she’s actually married lol. don’t you dare ask if there’s work for you to do it in the next two weeks!

Laughing to yourself, you quickly replied with a small “thank you, i will tell her,” along with a “darn, now i cant use work as an excuse to get out of wedding duties. but if there is work needed to be done just text me.”

[violet] 6:13pm: almost there!! look out for a black suv. hope u don’t need to go home, kinda planning to go straight to dinner bc our reservation is at 7 and joonie doesn’t want to be late! he’s scared they’ll judge us, see you soon <3

Of course he would think that, coming from the man who thinks texting and walking is rude- it's debatable!

That’s when you looked at the time, noticing that it was exactly 6:20pm. There was still time to make it by 7, you were sure of it.

As you were about to reply to your mom and sister, you heard the sound of tires screeching with constant honks. You looked up, noticing a very expensive-looking suv pulled near the curb, still beeping.

Was this your sister? I mean, it was black like she stated it would be.

Your question was finally answered when you noticed the passenger window being rolled down, revealing two young looking men with bright smiles eagerly waving, the driver still beeping with his other hand causing many people around to glare as they walked by.

You noticed the man with very shaggy hair, wearing what seems to be a white t-shirt, black slacks, and sneakers as he opened the door. “What’s up, y/n,” he smiled, making his way towards you.

“Taehyung? What are you doing here? I thought Violet was going to pick me up- is she in the backseat?” You questioned as he automatically went to grab your bags. “And what is this moron doing here? I thought he got his license taken away last month?”

Looking back to the SUV, you saw your cousin in the driver’s seat with what seems to be him fighting off a man with a bright yellow and green vest knocking violently on his window side.

“You cannot park here, you’re holding up traffic!” the man yelled, causing your cousin to roll his eyes before rolling down the window maybe two inches before yelling back.

“You’re the one holding up traffic standing in the middle of the road!”

“Don’t make me call security! Park in the parking lot!” The man dragged on, hitting the side of the car repeatedly and motioning his arms to drive away at the same time.

"Aren't you security?!" Your cousin honked before glaring at the man. “And you scratch my car, you pay for it!”

You stopped watching their little altercation as Taehyung began rolling your suitcases towards the trunk of the car, making you follow along. “She wasn’t able to come, apparently she had to go pick up some materials she ordered for the centerpieces,” he stated, setting the bags inside before closing the trunk. “And I am not sure why he is driving, I think everybody forgot he shouldn’t be and I am too lazy to do it, I was not able to take my nap today because Namjoon made me paint the photo booth all morning- it was exhausting.”

Opening the passenger door for you, you quickly jumped in as he shut it before jumping into the seat behind you. Turning to your left, you could still see your cousin arguing with the man before Taehyung told him to drive already.

“No! I hope you have a shitty day, you asshole!” Your cousin screamed before speeding away down the street. After literally two seconds, he looked your way while smiling brightly. “I missed you!”

Giving him a dirty glance, you slap his arm. “Ow! What was that for?” He whined, rubbing his arm with his free hand.

“Jungkook, why the fuck are you driving?” you declared. “You’re not allowed”

“Says who,” he rolled his eyes.

“The state,” Taehyung says from the backseat.

Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head. “They can’t do anything, I pay my taxes.”

Groaning, you rub your forehead. “This has nothing to do with your taxes, you imbecile.”

He gives you a confused look for a quick moment before moving his eyes back on the road again. “You don’t need to use big words to attack me, y/n. This isn’t law school.”

You heard Taehyung sighing at how annoying his friend was being. To clear things up, Taehyung was actually a close friend of your side of the family through Jungkook, the two of them being inseparable since kindergarten.

You just so happened to know him well since he always followed Jungkook everywhere he went, same vice versa, as you saw your cousin basically everyday due to only being one year apart and both your mom’s being sisters. But with Taehyung, you happened to be the same age, same with their other friend in their trilogy, Jimin. In which you were surprised he wasn’t here because Jimin loved going to dinner with them.

“Why are you driving?”

“I got my license back,” he smiled, nodding heavily when he saw the questionable facial expression you were making. “I swear! I went to the DMV and everything. I got it back after paying like $3,000.”

Choking on your saliva after hearing how much he had to pay, you gasped, “Why so much? What exactly did you do?!”

Jungkook awkwardly moved both his hands on the steering wheel, obviously not wanting to answer your question as you heard his friend chuckling in the backseat. “Yeah, tell her Jungkook, what did you do?”

Throwing a small box of tissues he had left near the middle cup holder to Taehyung, Jungkook began his excuse. “I’m not really sure, apparently it’s illegal to drive through rain puddles,” he shrugged.

You shifted your head a bit, “that’s not illegal.”

“It is when you purposely speed through them to get people wet,” Taehyung giggled as Jungkook groaned in annoyance.

“Dude! You weren’t supposed to tell her that part!” Jungkook whined.

“That is so rude,” you pinched his arm as he tried moving away from you, knowing your first reaction to things were mostly violence. “How would you like it if someone did that to you?”

“I actually wouldn’t mind it,” he stated. “Saves me money from going to a waterpark.”

Sometimes, you wondered what goes on in that big head of your cousin. Not much common sense, that’s for sure.

“Anywho,” you spoke up, trying to change the dumb conversation you just had. “What’s the plan for tonight? I heard something about a dinner, but other than that I have idea what’s going on. No one told me anything.”

Jungkook shrugged, glancing at you a few times as he answered your question. “I know we have dinner with some of Namjoon’s friends, his mom, your parents, and then you sister’s friends. But afterwards, no clue.”

“Why are you and Taehyung going then?”

He scoffed, looking offended. “I’ll have you know, we are very much indeed Namjoon’s friends,” he proudly said before giving in once he saw how that did nothing. Maybe acquaintances but definitely not friends. “All the groomsmen were invited.”

Ah yes, you almost forgot Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin were appointed groomsmen which was a big shock considering they were not close to Namjoon like that.

But to be completely honest, your sister did have six bridesmaids while Namjoon only had three real groomsmen he wanted. So, she was able to convince Namjoon to allow the other three to take apart on their special day because they were basically like family.

And because he had no one else to call.

Although, it didn’t take much convincing, Namjoon did love the guys and they all bonded really well whenever they did interact.

“So, Jimin’s going?”

“He should be,” you heard Taehyung answer. “He couldn’t come with us to pick you up because he had to drop his little brother off at baseball practice- but I think their mom is going to pick him up once he’s done.”

You nodded, understanding the situation. To be honest, you were happy the three of them were going. It’s not like you wouldn’t know anyone tonight, maybe only a couple people, but the rest of your family never knew how to make you feel comfortable the same way the boys did.

Maybe its because you basically grew up with them and how you were all close in age, but you felt more open and less forced to act a certain way when they were by your side.

Throughout the car ride, you had to constantly bicker with Jungkook about slowing down and to avoid potholes as it kept getting in the way of you applying concealer and powder from your seat. You especially yelled when he almost made you smash your mascara wand in your eye, causing Taehyung to hide his laughter as he scrolled through twitter.

Finally, after small loads of traffic and listening to Jungkook’s ‘go crazy, go stupid’ playlist in which consisted of old Taylor Swift and Hannah Montana songs, you made it to the restaurant. The problem was, the rain was hectic. You’re surprised Jungkook didn’t crash into a pole trying to see through his windshield wipers.

Once you parked, Jungkook sheepishly smiled. “Okay so we have a small problem- nothing serious,” he stated as you gave him a look for him to continue. “We don’t have an umbrella.”

“What-” you and Taehyung said at the same time. “I can’t show up in there all wet, it’s pouring outside!”

“-and I can’t risk getting my shirt wet, I didn’t bring a sweatshirt and I am wearing a white top- my chest will be see through if it gets wet!” Taehyung cried out. “I don’t want people violating me.”

“Calm down, drama queens,” Your cousin rolled his eyes. “Y/n, cover your face with your arms to protect your makeup- that’s the only thing you should save. Taehyung, wrap your arms over your chest, don’t you dare lift them until we are sheltered. We got this guys!”

You scoffed as he cheered you both on. At least you all will be drenched together, you thought.

Getting ready to jump out of the car, you looked down at your outfit. You were wearing an oversized dark brown crewneck sweater, black thick leggings, and your white platform sneakers. At least you were kind of warm and didn’t have much to damage from the rain.

Looking back at how far the restaurant was from your parking spot, you three basically had to run the side of the building to get to the front. It wouldn’t have been a problem if it was regularly raining- but as it was lashing down with some now background sounds of thunder and lightening, you knew this was going to be a bad idea.

Jungkook gave you two a confident nod before aiming towards his door as Taehyung and you gave each other a worried look, eventually doing the same. “On the count of 3!” Jungkook yelled from his side.

Once we were all ready, hands on the door handle, you heard Taehyung start, “1-”

“-3!” Jungkook screamed and ran out the door, hearing the door lock as he ran his distance.

Taehyung and you looked at each other in shock before chasing after him. As you took more and more steps, you could tell that this rainstorm was probably one of the worst you have ever encountered.

But to be fair, you should have checked the forecast and remembered to bring your own umbrella.

After what seemed like minutes, the three of you finally made it to the front of the building in which you were blessed with a roof for your protection. At this moment, you have never been happier.

Moving your eyes to the two boys standing near you, you noticed how even though Tae’s hair was swamped, he managed to barely get his chest wet. Jungkook’s hair began curling up on the sides, but only that and his shoulders were fairly drenched.

You tried straightening out your sweater while looking up at Taehyung. “Do I look alright?”

“Yeah, you totally don’t look like you just ran through the rain.” he nodded, even though you could feel your hair soaked.

“Your makeup still looks intact,” Jungkook added, “but your hair- eh.”

You glared at him as he lifted his hands up in defense. He shouldn’t be talking, his hair was soaked too.

Trying to make yourselves look presentable, you didn’t notice someone rushing near you three, only when you felt a pair of arms wrapping behind you, causing you to squeal.

Moving your head to see the owner of the arms, you immediately hugged them back. “Jimin!”

“Y/n!” he giggled, but suddenly pulled away. “Ew, you’re drenched.” Nodding towards Jungkook, he quickly understood what happened. “Why didn’t you just tell me you guys were here? Jungkook, I texted you that I had an umbrella if you needed one.”

Taehyung and you turned to glare at Jungkook as he turned red and stammered, "I’m sorry, I-I didn’t see the message!”

"Hold on, man. Didn't you just dropped off your brother? It's pouring," Taehyung.

Jimin shrugged, "Do you think the MLB teams stop their games over some rain."

"In some cases, yes."

“Y/n! You’re here!” you heard that familiar voice squeal behind you, followed by a pair of arms once again hugging you. “I would totally not touch you, but I haven’t seen you in three months!”

Smiling, you held your annoying sister until you heard a cough. You let go to see your parents standing near her, your mom pushing her to the side, making your sister almost fall to the ground, before wrapping her arms around you. “Y/n! How was your flight? You never replied to my text, young lady,” she crossed her arms. Oh, how you love when your mother’s mood changes constantly.

She suddenly touched your face lightly, “Your face looks lovely! You’re hair though- uh its alright! The rain is our excuse!” she beamed.

Same old mother, but at least you knew she did not want you to take things seriously.

You felt your dad lightly wrap an arm around you, giving you a short greeting, probably not wanting to hold up our reservation as well but not because he didn’t want to be rude, he wanted to eat already.

Noticing no one else was outside, you sister began speaking. “Namjoon, his friends, and mom are inside sitting at the table already. I told them not to wait up on us so we don’t cause much of a disturbance inside.”

Nodding, she then began guiding everyone inside with your parents following directly behind her while Jimin, Tae, and Jungkook walked right along with you. It was a short walk inside, but you noticed that the table must have been all the way in the back, maybe in another room by how far in you all were going.

Being right, you could see that they reserved a private room which was extremely crazy- this must’ve been so expensive for a casual dinner!

The first person you noticed was your future brother-in-law sitting at the middle of the wide circular table, a seat empty right beside him for your sister you assumed. You identified his mother pretty clearly as she sat on the other side of him.

Your parents quickly sat on the seats right next to where your sister just sat. You moved your eyes to see most of the bridesmaids, who you knew for the longest as they all either went to school or worked with her, sitting right near you parents and across from them.

There was only one seat next to the last bridesmaid that was opened, so you assumed it was for you as it was across from your sister’s seat. Looking at the boys, you frowned, realizing you would be separated as they only had empty seats on the other side of the table where Namjoon’s mom sat. At least you could look at them from across the table.

Jimin fake pouted before they all walked to the available seats. You finally noticed the three other boys sitting beside them, only recognizing one of them, Hoseok. You were happy to be seated right next to him as you two have met many times in the past, but you couldn’t help but wonder who the other two were and why you weren’t introduced to them earlier.

Hoseok was actually a close friend of both Namjoon and your sister, in fact, he was the one who introduced them many years ago. He was probably one of the few close male friends your sister even had who she trusted with all her heart who didn’t want to sleep with her.

You also befriended him as he was the only one who wouldn’t complain but encouraged you to hang out with them during their high school days when your sister pulled the ‘hormonal teenager who hates everybody’ phase.

“Nice to see you, y/n. Thanks for coming, I know you must be exhausted from your flight, but it means a lot that you were able to make it,” Namjoon kindly greeted you, in which you smiled in return.

“It’s okay,” you shyly reply, feeling your nerves kick in because you suck at public speaking, even when it’s with people you’ve already met.

“Now she’s shy,” you heard your cousin stifle in a low laugh before Jimin kicked his leg, in which he groaned in pain, trying not to make any noise as he clutched his knee.

As you gave Jungkook a dirty look, you began turning, quickly taking a look at the guests you didn’t know. One seemed to look slightly tall, or you assumed he was by how long his torso was. He was very good looking, just not your type.

But the other one was already looking at you, his eyes quickly moving away when he realized he was caught, not seeming to care though. He had very beautiful eyes and bright blonde hair, but he looked very intimidating with his blank- almost cold expression.

“You look dashing, y/n!” You heard Namjoon’s mom exclaim, making you turn extremely red. God, you hated when people gave you compliments, especially when others were around. You did not like the attention it brought.

“Thank you” you looked down, trying your best to make your face cool down. You wish you were in the rain right now.

“I take full responsibility for her hair not looking the best,” Jungkook spoke up, making you immediately cover your face with your hands, praying he stop talking. “I forgot the umbrella.”

You heard him groan again, maybe from one of the boys kicking him for his irrelevant comments.

“I know the struggle,” You heard one of the unknown guests Namjoon had, the one who looked tall, begin. “I tripped while trying to walk in and landed on a puddle.” This caused you to giggle, happy that he was willing to embarrass himself to deflect the attention off you. “But it’s alright, luckily I had extra pants in my car.”

“Now that you mentioned that uh- fascinating information,” Namjoon awkwardly started. “Y/n, I realized you never met my other groomsmen-”

“Groomsmen? How dare you” You heard the same friend fake gasp, causing Hoseok to groan right beside you. “I am the one and only best man”

“So, that’s Jin,” Hoseok finally spoke up, rolling his eyes at his friend who you realized probably loved the attention more than you actually knew.

“Oh, hi” you shyly waved as he gave you a cheesy smile.

“Sorry about him, he’s a little over the top,” Namjoon sweetly mentioned to you, causing Jin to scoff. “-but in a good way!”

Just by observing their attitude towards each other, you can tell Jin was the friend who made Namjoon be more confident and open-minded enough to try new things. He seemed like the hype man of the group.

“And that’s Yoongi,” Hoseok added, pointing to the man on the left of him, the one who looked like he did not want to talk to anybody. You began to realize this Yoongi guy was more reserved than the rest, giving you a small nod as you awkwardly looked away.

“Sorry about him, he seems quiet- but he does talk! Quite a lot actually,” Jin added, causing Yoongi to nudge him.

“Same with this one,” Violet giggled, looking your way causing you to glare at her. Way to put the spotlight on you.

Luckily for you, your mother just knew so many topics to talk about that she carried a conversation fairly quickly right after your sister’s comment.

You would have listened to it all the way, but to be honest, you were mentally exhausted. Work had you up till 10pm last night and with it being such a jammed pack month already, you completely forgot to pack until this morning. Having to check in two bags, you had to arrive at the airport three hours early to make it in time to depart from all the long lines.

You don’t think anyone beside your dad and Namjoon’s mom were listening to your mom because as you looked around the table, you realized people were either making faces at their friends or just looking anywhere else but the speaker.

That’s when you noticed Taehyung making a silly face your way, causing you to smile at him. But when you did so, you saw from the corner of your eye the restrained individual placing his eyes on you that didn’t leave until he was about to be caught again.

Yeah, you wished this dinner would be over soon.

"That was probably one of the best steaks I have ever digested," Namjoon smiled while wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Did he just say 'digested'?" you heard one of your sister's friend, Mina you believe, whisper to her other friend, Hani, who just shrugged.

After about an hour of awkward conversations that consisted of when Violet and Namjoon would be making babies and who would take custody if they both randomly die, dinner was finally over.

To be honest, you were glad that you were mostly not chosen to speak. That was until your mother thought it would be a brilliant idea to bring up your personality compared to your sisters, in which she made sure to mention the one time in 4th grade when you threw a tantrum and bursted into tears because you didn't want her to leave you alone on the first day of school.

Violet made sure to clarify how immature you were as a fourth grader, in which you thought if it would really be bad punching her in the face right then and there. You were sure makeup could cover the bruises.

"I should probably get going, I think your father is getting off soon from work," you heard Namjoon's mom say, slowly standing up before giving her son a warm hug.

Following the signs, everyone began standing up, getting ready to say their goodbyes. That was until your sister suddenly spoke up, becoming an announcer.

"Wait I forgot to mention, tomorrow is day 1 out of 7!" she cheered as her fiancee placed an arm on her lower back. "Don't forget to bring your shoes!"

"What's tomorrow?" You thought, but apparently out loud as everyone glanced your way, causing you to look back at Violet.

"You don't know?!" she gasped, looking back towards your mom. "Did you not tell her?" Watching as your mother softly gave her a small smile, your sister's eyes made their way back to you in disbelief. "It's our first dance rehearsal."

"Dance rehearsal?" You squinted your eyes, not believing how in the world she planned to make people learn a dance in under a week. "You do understand your wedding is in 6 days right after tomorrow, right?"

"We couldn't plan practices earlier because you and Jin don't live near here and we didn't want you both going out of your way to get here for it," Namjoon commented. "That would've been too expensive."

Realization hit you, you have to dance...in front of people.

Looking up, you tried showing a relaxed expression, but you're sure you only pulled out an uncomfortable one at the thought of having to publicly dance when you are in fact the worse dancer ever.

Truth be told, you wish you can easily agree and go with the flow, but knowing yourself the best you know you cannot pull this off. There is a reason why you dropped dance class in high school and it was because you kept making your partner's toes bleed from stepping on them so much.

But before you could speak up, or as if you were going to, your sister beat you to it. "You're doing it, no exceptions," she pointed a finger at you.

"You can be my partner!" Jimin exclaimed, wrapping an arm over your shoulder, trying to cheer you up. "I'm a great dancer."

"I beg to differ," Taehyung crossed his arms. "Have you seen these hips? Been shaking them since I was eight years-old."

"Just Dance doesn't count," Jimin hissed, making Tae scoff.

"It does when you're undefeated!"

Before the two of them could continue their bickering, your sister intervened. "None of you are dancing with her, I've already assigned partners," and right when they were going to ask who she added, "and you're not finding out until tomorrow. I don't want you trying to ask us to privately change your partners tonight so deal with it."

That definitely made them shut up before she carried on saying farewell to everybody.

You being you, you stood there stiff as everyone hugged each other. Never knowing how to really say 'bye', you often just waved. It was your thing.

You felt large arms wrap around you, causing you to gasp for air from the tight hold. "It was so nice meeting you, y/n!" You heard Jin burst out before pulling away. "Hoping we end up as partners, you seem so chill."

Certain that that was not going to happen, you sheepishly nodded. Not that you did not want him as a partner, to be fair, you probably would have chosen him as one of your top choices if it were up to you only because he seemed friendly and welcoming.

However, he was the best man.

Everybody knows the best man always gets paired with the maid of the honor, in which you believe was Naile.

Once he moved passed you to say his goodbyes with your parents, you noticed Yoongi finishing his farewells with Namjoon's mom before turning in your direction.

Shifting your eyes somewhere else in the room, you felt a weird feeling in your stomach.

For some reason, interacting with someone else who is also quiet but now intimidating made you extra nervous, fearful they might randomly lash out on you.

Just before Yoongi could at least give you a small nod, like he had done earlier, Namjoon announced that we should all be on our ways as the restaurant probably wanted us gone by now.

Running up to Jimin, you followed your friends and cousin out the door. Not noticing the pair of eyes following your every move up until you were out of sight.

Finally, now you can go home and sleep.

Waking up this morning was hard for you, especially when you knew how stressful it was going to be.

Maybe it was because you knew what was to come but didn't at the same time. It was safe to say you were panicking the whole drive to the small park your sister booked for the morning.

However, your sister was nothing close to nervous, in fact, she was beaming in joy throughout the car ride, constantly telling you she was excited to be a day closer to her wedding.

"Don't freak out too much about practice, okay?" Violet began as she parked the car. "None of them have experience dancing, except Hobi and maybe like Jimin and whatever Tae thinks is dancing, but other than that we all suck."

"Thanks for the pep talk, I feel so much better," you sarcastically declare before opening the door and getting out.

"I'm serious! I know you well enough to see how anxious you are about this," she argued. "But I made sure to pick an easy dance we all can learn within a few days"

You only sighed. There was nothing you could really do at this point so there was not much convincing she was doing to make you feel better. Plus, it's her day. You kind of have to do whatever she wants whether you like it or not.

Following her to a medium-sized building, you noticed how nice this park really was. There was a huge duck pond on one side with a beautiful garden all around.

Where does she find these places?

As you two opened the doors, she led you down a hallway until you were walking into a pretty large banquet room. You saw mostly everyone was here, besides Jin and Namjoon, but other than that everyone was here.

"Where's my man?" Your sister questioned, setting her bag on one of the side tables as you closely followed behind her.

"Trying to figure out where he put his dancing shoes," Hoseok stated, lying back on the chair he was sitting in. "Hi, y/n."

You softly waved, seeing that Taehyung and Yoongi were sitting right next to him. Tae was too busy playing some game on his phone to notice your presence as Yoongi just gave you a brief glimpse before going on his phone as well.

"What took you forever to get here?" Jungkook asked, pulling up a seat right next to you on one of the empty tables you sat in. You felt Jimin sit next to him, waiting for your answer.

"Violet couldn't leave the house without shaving her face," you whispered, hoping she didn't hear that or else she would come up with something 10x worse to joke about you.

"I did notice something was different about her," Jimin joked, making you all laugh.

After talking for some time as your sister kept trying to call her fiancee, you heard the slam of a door with the sounds of footsteps nearing.

It appeared that Namjoon probably found his shoes with the help of Jin as they both ran in together, breathing a little heavy as your sister put her hand on her hip.

"Ready," he smiled, trying not to provoke your sister anymore.

Knowing your sister, she was probably going to hire some dance teacher to teach you guys proper techniques. What you did not know was that this instructor was going to make you freestyle your own ending steps with your partners.

Or at least that's what the instructor mentioned after they showed up fifteen minutes late due to "traffic."

But now that they have said it, no one knew who their partners were.

"Time for the moment everyone's been waiting for," your sister stomped her feet and motioned everyone to come near her. Once we did so, she asked, "who wants to know first?"

Jungkook raised his hand quickly. "Me!"

"I think we should make this a little fun," Violet smirked. "Let's write the pair's names on paper, randomly mix them in a bowl and then draw."

Namjoon nodded, not really caring too much about how this was going to be done. He just wanted to begin lessons, already knowing that he wasn't quite the best when it came to body movements only for the world to see.

You were despising every second of this. As the clock kept on ticking, you kept thinking about who your partner would be.

It's not like anyone here was truly horrible- or so you thought.

Plus, you had a high chance of getting the three boys you loved to death. However, your sister did say Jimin and Taehyung were out of the picture, so your only hope was your cousin.

But in your opinion, you weren't familiar with Namjoon's friends. Jin seemed like a sweetheart, but maybe the close proximity of dancing with someone who was practically a stranger was getting in your head.

The main person you were worried about was Yoongi.

It's not like you completely disliked him, you never dislike anyone unless you had a reason to. It was that you didn't know him.

You didn't know Jin either, but the difference was Jin made an effort to communicate to others. Yoongi just sits there with a blank expression, making you question if he is judging or ignoring you.

It's quite intimidating, really.

And with you being extremely quiet too, well... two quiet people don't really work well- or in a situation where both have to actively dance.

"Jimin and Leia!" you heard Namjoon announce.

Damn.

"Sorry, y/n," Jimin mouthed, making you swat your hand in reassurance that you were fine. I guess he's known you for so long to understand how frightening this was for you.

But you're a big girl, you'll get through this.

"Taehyung and Yuna!" Your sister roared.

Okay, maybe not.

Finally, after Hoseok and Jin were called, your nerves were getting to you. Now was not the time to overthink, whatever happens- happens.

Jungkook wasn't making this easier as he kept waving his arms around, mouthing the words "we're definitely partners." And for a split second, you began to believe him.

Well, that was until-

"Y/n and Yoongi," Namjoon called out, making your face fall. Violet began clapping her hands while her fiancee proudly smiled.

Feeling your face turn red, you continue staring at Namjoon as he slowly tilted his head to the side for you to go to your new partner, in which you responded with continuing on your stare.

It felt like hours before you felt someone's presence beside you, causing Namjoon to fix his attention back to announcing who's Jungkook's partner was going to be.

Moving your head slightly to the right, you could make out the bright blonde hair immediately. Yoongi was sitting next to you, oh my-

"I guess we're uh- partners?" he lightly squinted his eyes before looking directly at your own.

You felt weak at the knees by this eye contact, how are you going to make it through the week?

"R-right," you began, mentally screaming at yourself for stuttering "I mean right! Yeah, how uhm..cool?"

"Not really," he sighed, making your eyes widen. Was he really not that happy by this decision? "I don't dance much"

Relief hit you by his answer, okay maybe he doesn't hate you. "Don't worry, I'm on the same boat."

"Namjoon knows I don't do any of this," Yoongi cringed to himself. Does he mean dancing? "I'm sure your sister knows you aren't great either, they should have just partnered us up with someone who wasn't going to make us look humiliating."

Ouch, that stung.

You shut your mouth, not sure what to reply. You understood his point, but at the same time you didn't. It was beginning to become clear now that maybe he wasn't happy with this setup.

"Are we ready to begin?" you heard the instructor exclaim, causing you to look past Yoongi in which you were grateful this small conversation would have to be cut. "Please come forward and spread out, only your partners should be near you!"

Rubbing your fingers, you slowly followed after Yoongi who took the lead towards the middle of the spaced out "dance floor," or the only area in this room that did not have folding tables. The two of you ended up on the side while the others placed themselves throughout the middle and front of the teacher.

After listening to him ramble on about the needed chemistry between partners and showing how our hands must be placed on his practice dummy, who was Namjoon- which Violet did not like, it was time for everyone else to follow.

"Remember, the men are the leads! Take your lady's hand with your left and place your right on her hip! I want to feel the sexual tension from here!"

"Or a comfortable tension," Namjoon interfered.

Looking up at Yoongi, you saw him dully take his left hand out to grab your right one. By his lack of emotion, it triggered you to malfunction and embarrass the hell out of yourself.

He could feel how stiff your body was once he grabbed your hand, beginning to place his right hand behind on your mid back.

"Closer!" the instructor popped out of nowhere, causing you to flinch and almost trip over Yoongi's shoes. Yes, you just stepped on his shoes- he probably hates you now. "Hand on hip! You'll get the rhythm faster."

"No thanks, I'd rather not," Yoongi plainly stated, but was pushed inches away from your face when the instructor pushed you both forward.

You tried your best to look anywhere then at him, but it was incredibly hard. You did catch him throwing out a few glances a few times, but he would always divert his attention somewhere else when he noticed how uncomfortable you reacted to it.

"Do y-you think we should do what they are doing?" You asked, referring to steps that were just given to follow. Everybody else were figuring out the new footwork, but your partner just stood there as if he wanted to die already.

He simply just ignored you, only looking at what Jungkook and his partner were doing. In which, your cousin was swinging the poor girl around while she tried to slow him down in fear.

God, you wish this was over already.

"So...how did you like it?!" Violet questioned, sitting down on the bed in your old bedroom while you hid under the blankets. "It was fun, huh?"

"You call that fun?" You groaned, sitting up. "I want a new partner."

"What? No way! Yoongi will be hurt you wanted to switch."

"How if he was the one who questioned why we weren't switched in the first place?"

Violet gasped, "He said that?"

Nodding, you wiped some hair away from your face. "He also refused to put his hand on my hip. Is my body too gross for him or what?"

It did hurt your feelings he wouldn't listen to the basic suggestions, but if he didn't want to then there was nothing you could do.

"Maybe it was a respect thing- like to make sure he wasn't crossing any boundaries?"

Thinking about it for a second, she could be right.

"We just don't mix well, he would just ignore me any time I asked questions or spoke up," You sighed. "Please change my partner-"

"-I can't, we already began rehearsals," She cut you off.

"But we only learned basic steps! I can dance with a whole other human being and get it down with them! Please, please-"

"-no-"

"I can tell he despises every minute of this," You whine. "He's not into it and I'm just holding him back! You already know how scary this is to throw myself out there for this dance, at least let me be with someone who seems comfortable with me. It'll make me less anxious."

Your sister gave you a look, taking her time to think hard about this. She wanted you to feel fully comfortable, but it would be so unfair to switch partners the next day after announcing them.

"You know I want you to feel at your best, but the decision has been made and I-"

"If you let me switch I'll clean your room for a year," You rambled.

She rolled her eyes, "nice try, you don't even live nearby!"

"I'll send you money to buy your favorite meals twice a month!"

Violet gave you a stern look. "Y/n, no means no. I-"

"I'll say a speech at your wedding!"

That made her shut up.

This shocked you too because you avoided this topic from the start when she told you she was engaged. You hated talking, better yet- talking in front of people? No way, impossible to do!

"You would never, you can't even order your food without stuttering."

She didn't have to come at you like that..

"I promise!" you begged, jumping in front of her as she rolled her eyes.

Hearing her sigh, you felt weight being lifted off your shoulder. "Fine! You can have Hoseok, he's a quick learner anyway."

Almost making your sister fall off the bed as you tackled her in a hug, you cheered. "Thank you! Thank you! Tha-"

"Shut up already," she scrunched her face, pushing you off harshly. "I'm only doing this because you seem to feel really uncomfortable being near him and my sister instincts are going off."

You nodded quickly, trying to be on your best behavior so she doesn't change her mind.

"It kind of sucks though," she shrugged. "Namjoon and I thought you would be the perfect fit, you two are so alike"

"Being antisocial doesn't automatically mean we'll hit it off."

"Sorry, wouldn't know what that's like," she smiled and stood up from your bed. "I'm gonna go check on mom and the centerpieces, you should text Hobi a heads up for this week."

Once she left the room, you pulled out your phone to text him. You hope you weren't being a total bitch for doing this, but you doubt Yoongi would get offended.

He was the one who suggested it.

#min yoongi #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #bts imagine #yoongi fanfic #yoongi smut #suga #suga imagine #strangers to lovers #bts x reader #bts suga #bts yoongi #agust d #bts fanfic #bts

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james-is-here · 7 months ago

Note

I have a different idea that’s not hunger games themed

The idea is a pirate captain hongjoong x male siren reader

Hongjoong is a pirate captain who captures the reader and steals his siren song so now the reader is mute. Years later the reader is cast out by his brothers and sisters and forced to live as a mute human. He works in a tavern as a waiter and hongjoong and his crew walk into the bar. Reader recognizes him and doesn’t wanna serve him but his boss makes him so he does

He brings the crew the drinks and hongjoong starts flirting with him and realizes he’s mute. I don’t have many ideas from here sorry but I think it’s a good story. I want them to have a happy ending but I also want some angst in there if that’s alright? I hope you like it :3

-🖤

(Notes at the end)

On the edge of Eldoria sea is a cove known by all as Siren's Lament.

In the annals of maritime lore, tales echo of gallant fleets embarking on perilous quests in search of the elusive cove, a whispered secret among sailors and adventurers alike. From bustling ports, ships set sail, their journey fraught with danger. Yet, upon their return, only a scant few brave the tumultuous seas back, bearing witness to the trials endured.

Their ships, battered and worn, tell stories of unseen perils lurking beneath the waves, of storms that rage with vengeful fury, and of whispers beckoning towards oblivion. Each voyage to this treacherous cove is a gamble, a dance with destiny where discovery may exact a price steeped in sacrifice and blood.

On of these many fleets was that of Captain Kim many years ago, his ship on the brink of sinking with temporary repairs in place, the hold of his ship partially flooded. The crew was battered and bruised, disheartened at the failed journey and their losses, including that of Captain Kim. His second hand returned to his family with his Captain's hat in his hand, a locket, and a sullen expression. The wife cried as the son gently took the hat and locket the second hand passed to him, saying that his dad passed with honor and dignity and he wouldn't want anyone else as his captain.

Before leaving, the second hand left with one more word. "Kid, when ye older, if you avenge yeh father 'e said to find the one whid black scales. That the one that lured 'im to 'is death." He points at the locket in the boys hand. "That is the Locket of Luring Silence."

The locket is a delicate item adorned with intricate carvings and inset with a shimmering gemstones and pearls that pulses with inner light. When opened, it emits a soft, hypnotic glow that lures the Siren's song into its heart, sealing it away from the world.

"What does it do?" The boy asks. "Can steal a song strai't from a Sirens throat." "Why would I do that?" Kneeling down, the second hand places a hand on the boys shoulder. "Kid, Sirens are heartless, selfish beasts, luring unsuspectin' souls to their wa'ery graves whid beguiling songs. They haunt their cursed coves, carin' not for gold nor glory, only for the mis'ry they sow with each hauntin' note." He takes the hat and places it on the boys head.

"Do yeh father proud, Hongjoong, yeah?" The boy nods, determination on his face.

"I will."

Years later, the young Captain Kim now had his own crew and his father's ship was repaired, he even had some of his father's crewmates on board.

At the Sirens Lament, within the ring of rocks, a few Sirens swim around in the sunlight, a few older guppies laughing and splashing their friends and a few parents float about with their younger guppies.

Other Sirens sit on rocks that breech the waters surface, on one of them lays an older male Siren with a younger girl. The girls scales travel up the sides of her waist and she wears the remnants of what use to be the sails of a ship covering her chest as her scales have yet cover her chest.

"Come on, has anybody ever been curious on what's out there? I bet it's fascinating." The male next to her groans as the girl pushes on his chest with enthusiasm, flicker her with his tail before rolling onto his front. "I bet it's terrible. Callista, You know the type of people that come from out there." "I know but am I the only one that can't help but wonder?" "Yes. The rest of us rather not think about what's out there and enjoy our life here." The girl groans and flops on the males back, her tail flipping up out of the water and splashing them.

"Mn, you're not a very fun brother." "Go to Nereus, see what nonsense he's getting into." "But you're the fun brother." Pushing up and tilting to the left he shoves the girl off, she yelps when he falls into the water. "You just said I was no fun, how does that make sense." She was going to retort when your mother called out. "Callista! Stop bothering your brother and help me corral the guppies!" "Mn is older, why can't he do it!" "Because I called for you, not Mn." "Aw, Mom."

Diving into the water with a whine and swimming away, Mn laughs as he settles on his rock, kicking up his tail and dropping it into the water, listening to it splash in the water and the others swimming around. He had all his developments, his scales were up his sides, over his collar bones and to the back of his neck. From there they travel over his shoulders and down his arms to his hands which are webbed. He had extra fins above his hips and wrapped around his waist were strings with different trinkets attached. His scales colored black with sprinkles of white and silver grey.

Laying his head down on his arms, he looks out past the rocks near him before sitting up and noticing something that is way too closer for comfort. How had nobody noticed sooner. "Pirates!" Everyone turns at his yell, watching him dive off his rock and the ship behind him.

Everyone stops what they're doing and dives off their rock or starting to head towards the depths of the cove. Mn and a couple other older Sirens got into place to trick the pirates should they enter the actual cove.

That's just what these pirates do.

Mn's mother looks to her son with a worried gaze and Mn catches it heading to his spot. "Mama, what's wrong?" "Just be careful." Her silver hand cups her son's face and brings his head down to kiss his forehead. "I will, Mama. I promise." He kisses her forehead in return before giving her a smile and swimming off. She watched him swim off, she knows he'll be safe but protecting the cove was how her husband was taken from them.

Three men in a row boat enter the cove and stop in the center, they were the firsts to enter with a boat instead of their whole ship. "Are you sure this is the right cove?" The one rowing asks as he stops and looks around, catching a few odd shapes lurking just under the waters surface.

"What other cove is known to be at the edge of Eldoria?" The other one asks. "Would both of you be quiet?" Finally the last one scolds both of them. "Sorry, Captain." They both say, lowering their heads when he stands up carefully and looks around.

Wearing thick black boots, white pants, a belt with his sword attached, a baggy red shirt and a long black coat was the younger Captain Kim, hat snug on his head and the Locket of Luring Silence hanging off his belt.

"Hey, what's that?" The one rowing says, turning towards a few lurking Sirens behind a rock that have started their song. "It's so...pretty." The Siren, salmon colored scales, bravely swims up the boat, her song being the most alluring to the male and she smiles up at him, reaching out to the dazed male and he takes her hand. "Thomas, No!" Captain Kim yelled out but the Siren smirks and pulls Thomas overboard and into the water.

"Shit, they're already hunting." "Captain?" "Just ignore them, they're just stupid fish, okay?" He grabs the net at the bottom of the boat. "Now, help me get this ready." When the other didn't respond or help him, he looked up. His other crew was over the edge, a blue Siren male was under the water and he was reaching out. "Charles-!" He reached out to him when he stopped, one voice among the song catching his attention.

Looking towards the voice, he saw a Siren behind a rock who slowly made his way to the boat like the others. "Captain-" The other crew yelled out and Hongjoong turns to see the blue Siren take him away and into the depths.

He turns around, the Siren still there and Mn has no time to react before the net Hongjoong was untangling was suddenly thrown over him. He tried to swim away but that just made the net wrap around his body more and Hongjoong held the net closed, hoisting him up onto the boat with a little struggle.

Mn squirmed trying to get out of the net but the other stepped on his neck, the Captain holding him still as he pulled out his sword and held it to the Sirens face and Mn stops struggling.

Hongjoong breaths heavily from the struggle, eyes scanning over the scales and scowls down at him when Mn's black scales shine back at him in the sunlight. "It's you. You're the Siren with black scales that lured my dad to his death." "W-What? W-Wait, n-no, please!" "Oh, it speaks." "I-I'm not who k-killed your dad." "I was told a Siren with black scales lured my dad to his death." "I-I have m-my dads s-scales, p-please d-don't h-hurt me, please."

"What if I do, huh?" "I-I c-can't leave my mom alone. I-I t-took my fathers p-place in the family, I-I can't leave them." "Fine." He pulls back his sword and steps off his throat. "Can I hear your song one last time?" He asks as he untangles the net and Mn dives back into the water.

"Why would I do that, pirate?" He shrugs. "It was nice." Mn opened his mouth, his song meeting Hongjoong's ears and Mn misses him reaching to his belt and pulling the locket from it.

Hongjoong smirks, opening the locket and holding it near Mn. His eyes widen and he wanted to stop and swim away but its as if the locket kept him frozen. Mn winces, his throat burning as it felt like his voice was physically being torn from his larynx.

The locket closed by itself when it had his voice and Mn's hand shoots up to his neck, jaw dropped partially as he stares up at the Captain in shock and worry.

"I'll let you live but," He then holds up the locket and waves it tauntingly. "I'm take this." Mn reaches out for it but Hongjoong pulls it back, laughing at Mn as he took the oars and started rowing back to his ship.

When out of the cove, Mn still remained where his was and his mother swam up to him and looked him over. "Mn, are you okay?" She cradles his face, making him look at her worried gaze. He went to answer but nothing came out. His eyes widen, hand wrapped around his neck and scratching at it as if to bring his voice back. "Did...Did that pirate steal your voice?"

Mn nods, scratching at his neck and his mother takes his hands away so he doesn't hurt himself. "It's okay. It'll be alright, Mn, okay?" Mn starts crying, his arms moving to wrap around his mother and she does the same. "Oh, Mn..." "Mom, will Mn be okay?" She removes an arm from Mn and wraps it around Callista. "I hope..." She whispers into the girls hair and kisses the tops of their heads as her other kids join them.

The power of a Siren resides wholly within their voice, a symphony of enchantment that binds them to the depths of the ocean. Without the melodic gift, they are but a shadow of their former self, bereft of the captivating allure that defines their existence. Stripped of thier voice, a Siren becomes vulnerable, their once-potent magic reduced to whispers on the wind. No longer able to command the currents or entrance the hearts of mortals, they drifts aimlessly, a solitary figure adrift in a sea of silence, longing for the song that once defined her.

For a Siren, to lose their voice is to lose their very essence and they begin a gradual transformation into a mortal being. As their abilities wane, they become vulnerable to the dangers of the human realm, disconnected from the ocean's depths that once sustained them, gave them life. It falls upon the cove's inhabitants, fellow Sirens, to decide their fate. They must choose between aiding them in their transition to mortality, offering guidance and protection as they adapt to their new reality, or casting them out to fend for themself among humanity. The Siren, stripped of their allure and defenseless, also holds the option to depart voluntarily, seeking solitude to safeguard themself from the perils that now threaten their existence.

Only a few months later, you sat at the shore deep within the cave of the cove. You still had your tail, glimmering with grey scales and only a grey black ones spotted around.

You've been silently watching the tied roll over your tail, tears falling down your face as you've come to terms with your fate. You've heard every murmur from other families and your siblings have started to avoid you. 'Why be around someone that can't speak?' Callista, who was once your best friend, now avoids you and goes elsewhere.

You're no longer seen as the family leader, that's been given to Nereus and you didn't even get to decide that. Nereus has even started to ignore you and boasts about being the family leader and making dad proud unlike 'the mermaid who couldn't take down a pirate.' You were even called a mermaid. 'You don't have a voice so why should you be called a siren.' some of the other sirens said either to your mother or to your face.

"Mn? Son?" You look up when your mother joined you on the shore, placing a hand on the side of your face and you lean into her touch. She then picks up your hand, looking over your arm which started showing more skin as the scales disappear.

Picking a loose scale off your arm, she rubs it between her fingers, sighing deeply as she leaned onto your shoulder. "Mn, You..." She holds your hand tighter. "I don't want to...but the others are talking about...sending you away." Your hand briefly tightens in her hold. "I know, Mn, I know. I'm sorry...but you know it's your choice. If you stay, I will help you no matter what but you are such a bright spirit and I'm so proud you're my son and I'm simply suggesting that you'll be better on land."

She lifts her head off your shoulder to see your reaction before reaching up with a gasp and wiping your tears. "Oh, My son, I know. I'm sorry this has happened to you but know that I'm so proud of you and your father would be so proud of you as well. You're so brave, so strong, so perfect and I wish I never had to do this to you, that this didn't happen to you."

Your shoulders jolt with a silent sob and your mother takes you into her arms. "The choice is yours, but while you still have your gills and tail you should leave now..." She pulls away and cradles your face. "Just to get as far as possible before it's too late..."

Hesitantly, you nod your head, kissing your mother forehead before moving your hand to your arm and pulling out a few more scales, a mix of black white a grey and place them in her hand before pointing towards the hand made necklace your mom made for all her children, a few of her scales attached to one another in a small diamond surrounded by one scale from each of her children. Your siblings ripped your scale off their necklaces the moment Nereus was made the family leader.

"Oh, Mn..." You tap your temple then point to yourself and your mother smiles. "My dearest eldest son, I'll always remember you." Pointing to your heart then to her, you hug her one last time. "Oh...I love you, too, Mn. Be safe, okay? Don't worry about us, just..."

She pulls back one final time and cups your cheek, kissing your forehead and smiling weakly. "Just be yourself." Nodding, you lean into her touch one last time and go to swim away when you heard splashing and quiet yelling.

"Kids, come here." Your mother calls out and your brothers and sister come closer to the shore. "I understand you have all resented Mn but at least say goodbye?" Callista was the first to come up next to you, followed by Nereus, Luna, and a very hesitant Lirian.

You open your mouth, no sound coming out as you mouth to them that you're sorry. "I guess...we've been unreasonable. You didn't loose your voice on purpose, that pirate took it." Nereus spoke up first.

"Mn doesn't want to leave...but he's doing it for his own safety." You nod at your mother's words. Your siblings look at each other before your sisters are at your sides and Nereus is moving behind you to hug you all at once, causing you to let out a silent sob as you hug them back the best you could.

They let go and you look at them all one last time with a small smile then to your mother before moving further off the shore and into the water. "Be safe, Mn!" Luna calls out and you turn, waving goodbye one last time before they watch you dive under water and swim away.

"Get up!" I gruff, raspy voice calls as a hand slaps the back of your head and you jolt up. "Customers are arriving, get out there." You glare at the back of the tavern owner as you rub the back of your head and get up.

It's been three years now since all your powers were gone. You were found floating in the ocean by a fisherman who took you in and helped you, he was really nice when he realized you couldn't speak or walk, super patient with you and caring.

His brother on the other hand...

He own a tavern, the most popular one on shore and if it wasn't for the fisherman and the care he has for you as if your his son, you wouldn't have your job.

The fisherman had to go on his yearly outing to get more fish so you were stuck with his brother, a big oaf with a snaggle tooth, half his hair, and if you didn't know any better, you'd think he was apart of some pirate crew. (I was picturing a member of crew from Pirates of the Caribbean XD )

Exhaling sharply, you shift to the edge of your makeshift bed, still rubbing the spot the tavern owner, Samuel, smacked before standing up and getting dressed.

You buckle a belt over your oversized shirt, slip on a pair of worn, brown pants, and a pair of black boots.

You trudge out of the back room and behind the bar, leaning on the top for a moment while you yawn, eyes closed before a hand slaps on the surface. "Oi, get to it!" Samuel bellows, glaring at you.

You yawn again before walking over to your first table of the day while Samuel wonders over to a table of woman who you can tell are way out of his league but he buys them mead and they keep coming back.

A little while later, five tables into your shift, loud, boisterous laughter and yelling fill the room and you look up from the tap you're at only to scowl and look away, back to the mug in your hand.

Placing the mug on the counter with the other two, you easily, albeit still a little shaky, grab the mugs with one hand and two bottles of mead in the other before going over to the table that ordered all the drinks.

You go back behind the bar, beginning to clean the cups there as you glance at the group that just walked in and has sat down. You really wish you weren't the only server in the particular moment.

"Oi, Sam! Can we get drinks over here!" Samuel looks up from the whor- lovely woman he's talking to, his smile falling as he looks at who yelled then scowled at you. "Boy, go get their order." You heavily drop your hands, the glass in your hand making a small thud on the countertop as you glare at Samuel, shaking your head. Samuel stands up, one hand on the table and the other pointing at you. "Er lucky my brother is attached to ye' or I'd kick ye' out. Go do yeh job!" He points at the crew and you huff, removing your towel glad hand from the mug and placing both down before stomping over to the table.

They all keep talking as you lean on a chair, waiting for someone to order. "He can't speak, by the way!" Samuel yells and they finally turn towards you, you're lucky there's only a few crew members here. Last you knew it had about twenty members.

With a tight lipped smile and an eye roll, you push off the chair your were leaning on and walk back to the bar. You had to make six beers and grab six meads, not the hardest task but you just really didn't want to serve them. "Oi, make that seven beers."

You look up and your annoyance and reluctance couldn't have gotten any higher. You were initially annoyed because you hated this group cause they were always loud and obnoxious, but with the new face in the group, the hat and the outfit he wore, and a familiar looking locket around his neck, now all you wanted to do was put down the mug in your hand and go punch him.

If looks could actually kill, Hongjoong's head would've been gone. With each fill, you're glaring at the side of his head. When you have six mugs, you carefully picked up the three mugs in each hand, taking them to the table. "You're missing a few things." His voice called out as you walked away and you turned back, showing your hands to indicate that you only have two hands.

You fill the last mug needed for the table then just grabbed a whole box of mead. You heavily place the mug down in front of Hongjoong then take six bottles out of the box before walking away and taking care of the box. As you attend to a patron at the bar, you hear a whistle and look over to see the captain flick two fingers for you to come over to the table.

You get the man at the bar his drink then go over to the table, offering a sarcastic smile to the male and cross your arms. "Oh, what's with the sour look, darling?" You scowl at the nickname and gesture with your hand for him to hurry up with what he wanted. "What? Don't want to talk to me? How can a cutie like you not want to talk with me?" Your eyes twitch as your glare hardens and you go to walk away, dropping your arms and wanting to get away from him but he grabs you wrist and pulls you into his lap, his right hand clasped around your right wrist and his left planting itself on your waist and squeezing, grip tight and fingers digging into you as you squirm to get off.

You didn't expect Hongjoong to be the type to flirt with guys but all you knew about him was the interaction from three years ago and the mutters you hear from other patrons. "Why you so quiet, handsome?" You turn to glare at him, leaning away from his tight hold on your waist. Your eyes flicker to the locket around his neck and your first instinct is to yank it off his neck, punch his face, then run away.

"Too stunned by my looks?" You look back up and glare, struggling in his hold but he just pulls you closer. "Come on, stop playing hard to get, just relax." You couldn't take it anymore, you reach out, yanking the locket and when Hongjoong let go of your wrist and his grip on your waist loosened, you stood up and punched him.

His crew stood up, pulling their swords out but Hongjoong recovered quickly, standing and grabbing your wrists. You struggle in his hold as he moves both your hands to one of his as he takes the locket back. You thrash in his hold, wanting the locket back but he smirks darkly and pockets it. "You're a feisty fella." Your mouth opens to complain but nothing comes out. "Oh, you really can't say anything."

Looking around, you see his crew still standing guard and Samuel's harsh stare is directed to you. You know you shouldn't have lashed out like that but you can't stand Hongjoong, you hate him for taking your voice, you hate him for ruining your life and the locket was right there, you couldn't stop yourself.

"Sammy, Mate, mind if I take him for a moment?" "Wha'ev'a. Just bring 'im back, yeh? He's the only server I got." "Will do. Boys, stay here."

Dragging you out of the building, you fight against his hold. "Stop moving." He yanks on your wrists, dragging you further and further from the tavern and over to a ramp. You stop walking, not really wanting to get on his ship but he yanks you up onto the ramp.

Once on the boat, you let's go of your wrists, throwing you onto the deck and you turn over, propping yourself up on your elbows as you glare at him angrily. "Put the pout away, fish." Your scowl falters as you look away then back up at him.

"Yeah, I recognize you. How are you here?" You glance to the pocket he put the locket in then back up to him. He takes it out, holding it up. "This? This turned you human?" You push yourself up, standing to be face to face, tapping your throat. "So taking your voice took away your tail? That's dumb." You slapped him, his head turning with the impacted and he holds the locket away when you try to grab it. "You are starting to get on my nerves."

Your eyes widen as you point to yourself. "Yes, You are annoying me." You throw your arms up. "How?" You nod. "You're very physical." Your hands rest on your hips as your glare returns. You really wish you could tell him all the words on your mind but even if he did give your voice back, you haven't used it in three years, how would you sound? Could you even speak if you did have it?

You point at the locket then at your neck. "Give it back?" You nod. "Mmm...no." You physically deflate and open your mouth to speak again but end up huffing when nothing comes out. You grew to enjoy not talking but in this particular moment that's all you want to do. How would he feel if he had to leave his family because his means of survival were taken away? How would he feel if he couldn't communicate like normal? How would he feel if he was in your position?

You went to slap him again but he caught your wrist again. "Stop that." You tilt your head towards the locket and stare at him with a desperate look. "I'm not falling for this look, you aren't getting it back. You took my father, I took your voice." You wanted to say you didn't, you were practically a guppy when his dad attacked your cove. You tap your neck again, giving up and pleading to the pirate to give your voice back. You need to actually talk to him, you need to speak, you need your voice.

"Y'know, without a voice, you're cute." Your desperate look turns into confusion as you back away and he finally lets go of your wrist. "What? Without your voice I can focus on your face." You hold up three fingers, point at your throat, then tap your temple.

"What?" You hold up three fingers, point at the locket, then tap his temple. "How would I remember your voice?" You nod. "I-" He finally went silent and looked away from you, causing you to look at him confused. "You can't tell my crew." You roll your eyes and gesture for him to continue. He takes the locket between his fingers and taps it on his palm. "Well, I- Uh...I listen to it..." He presses a button on the side and opens it slightly, your own voice meeting your ears. "And since I'm telling the truth, the reason I said what I said is because without your voice, I'm now focused on your looks and not just the pull of your voice."

Inhaling then exhaling, you place a hand on top of his and he looks up, he doesn't flinch the locket away, just letting you hold his hand. You tilt your head, moving your hand from his to tap the locket gently, then tap your throat again. "But I promised to avenge my father." You tilt your head, raising a brow. "What?" Nodding towards his hands you look back up at him.

"You'll just take your voice and swim back home." You shake your head. "How do I know you're telling the truth?" You point to yourself, your lips, then at him. He may have ruined your life but damn, you couldn't deny he was good looking.

"Why would you want to kiss me? You literally punched me when I was flirting with you earlier." You shrugged before raising your free hand to the lapel of his coat and pull him in until his lips connected to yours. You never thought your first kiss would be with a pirate, his lips were chapped but you two fit together so smoothly.

He leaned in closer and you felt his hand move and open the locket completely, lifting it until it was closer to your throat. The feeling was overwhelming, causing you to pull away and gasp, eyes opening wide as your hand leaves his and flys up to your throat while you look down at the now dark locket that once glowed with your voice.

Even with your voice now returned to you, you didn't know how to speak, didn't know what to say. You genuinely got comfortable with not speaking after so long. "Where's..." He starts and you look back up to realize he hadn't pulled back from you completely. "M-My..." Your voice is raspy and it kind of hurt as you rub your throat and attempt to clear your throat.

"Weird..." You mutter with a look of disgust and Hongjoong laughs softly. "W-What?" "The look on your face." "I-It...Is. Been...th-three...y-years." You rasp out quietly. "I thought if you got your voice back, you got everything back too.." You shake your head. "Been too...long...no more...magic." "Oh..."

"My D-Dad...t-took yours...i-isn't it e-enough...that you m-made...me...an o-outcast...of...my...f-family..." He hums with a sigh. "I guess." You go to slap his chest but once again, he catches your wrist. "Slapping isn't very nice, y'know?" "S-so i-is...t-taking my...voice..." "I regret what I did, you're too talkative now." You hum, tilting your head. "Th-Thought y-you l-liked my v-voice?" "I'm thinking about shutting you up again." "Th-Then do it."

He presses his lips to yours again, pulling a squeak out of you as you weren't expecting him to kiss you again. He pulled back with a laugh and you figured it was because of the noise you made so you take your hand away from his and slap his shoulder. "I-It's n-not f-funny." "Exactly, it was cute." You playfully shove him away and walk away, heading to the ramp when he stops you, his right hand grabbing your left and pulling you back over to him, his left hand placing itself on your waist as laughter kept spilling from him.

"I-I'm sorry, okay. For everything." "Y-You j-just wanted...t-to make...y-your dad p-proud." "Yeah, but taking your voice took you away from your family." You shrug. "A-At least...now I-I c-can yell b-back...at r-rude p-patrons." "What? You're not going back there." "I-I h-have t-to..." "Instead...I'm going to take you back to your cove...to see your family."

You stare at him wide eyed. "Th-That's...That's a d-death w-wish." "We've done it once...we can do it again." "W-why?" He shrugged. "I ruined a cute boys life, I want to make it up to him." "I-I'm s-stuck...w-with the f-flirting...a-aren't I?" "Yes."

When his crew returns, you were waiting in his quarters and he was in front of the door, waiting for his crew to settle down. He gave you new clothes and one of his extra coats. "Oi, Capti'n, Sammy boy is upset. Where's his server boy?" "He's not his server boy anymore." You heard a knock and you open the door, stepping out and next to Hongjoong. "He's now my right hand." "Yeh addin' a mute boy to our crew? How's he gonna be useful on a ship?"

"M-More th-than...y-you f-from wh-what...I-I've been t-told." They all look at you with wide eyes. "He can talk?" "He can and it's best if you treat him with respect." "Why should we?" Another crew guy asked, stepping forward in an attempt to intimidate you. "He's my partner now, you disrespect him, you're disrespecting me." "I don't buy it." Hongjoong scowls softly before snapping and two loyal crew members take the guy by his arms and drag him to the ramp but instead of throwing him down the ramp they throw him overboard into the water.

"Anyone else?" They all stayed silent and he smirked. "Good. Ramp up, we're heading out." "Where are we going sir?" "Don't worry about it." He looks over at you and you meet his eye. "You'll know soon enough." He says still speaking to the crew member as he shrugs and walks away.

"W-Why c-can't...they kn-know?" He wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer. "Don't feel like telling them yet." He shrugs with a smirk and you chuckle, going to walk away to go up to the wheel but his arm pulls you back, both hands now on your waist as he leans in to kiss you. Another squeak leaves you as you're not use to kissing him yet and he laughs against your lips. "J-Joong!" You scold as he keeps laughing, hands squeezing your sides gently. "I'm sorry, it cute." He leaves another peck to your lips. "And keep calling me that. I like it." "Wh-What if I c-call you m-my captain?" "Careful. It sounds way too good coming from you." "I-I'll k-keep that i-in mind for l-later."

He smiles, kissing you again before pulling away and taking your hand to pull you up to the wheel. Behind it is a chair and he sits in it, pulling you with him to sit on his lap and wrap his arms around you. Feeling bold, you reach up and take his hat, placing it on your own head, making him laugh.

"You're lucky, fish boy."

"That I am, Captain."

Oh my lord I think this is the longest thing I've written. Feels like it is anyway.

I'm way behind on requests and just posting in general so I gave myself a goal: Write and finish 5 requests. My reward for myself is writing something inspired by that one Felix concept photo.

Boys skin just needs marked and bitten

Anyway, this is the first request of my goal that I've finished. For the other four, my plan is Agere Seung, HyunHo angst/smut, SeungIn w/ Innie in a skirt, then Corruption with Felix but it might change depending what I end up getting in the mood to finish but either way they will get done.

thanks to @succubus-hansol who is like amazing and motivates me but also reminds me to not overwork. Literally the best online friend I've ever made. 🥰

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, I loved making the lore, I guess, and coming up with all the details.

#random #bleh #Ateez #hongjoong x male reader #fantasy au #pirate ateez #pirate hongjoong #hongjoong #ateez hongjoong

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hakiluv · 2 months ago

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☆ ALL IN 4 U!! ☆ - #nonchalant influencer wannabes ⋆｡°

synopsis myung jaehyun always puts his best foot forward. he never half-asses anything. 100% effort is the only thing he knows. this mindset is how he manages to be ukoz prep's beloved school president, one of the most popular students, and captain of the dance team. but sometimes, you need a little more than just hard work, a fact he has to come to terms with when he fails math first semester and is all but forcibly assigned a student tutor – how embarrassing. things change when he finds out his tutor is you: the top student at koz prep, unapproachable and disinterested in anyone who isn't in your small group of friends, and totally jaehyun's type. he falls hard and fast, and once myung jaehyun's set his mind to something... he's all in.

previous masterlist next

park yn — 17 years old, top student at koz prep and math prodigy. if she’s not in the library, she’s probably in one of the math classrooms working at the board or at her favorite cafe, editing videos to upload to her study vlog youtube channel. also works as a student tutor, and people line up to book a session with her. isn’t particularly fond of people — in fact, she’s known for being unapproachable; don’t expect anything more than a civil, professional interaction unless you’re one of her close friends. sungho’s little sister, wonyoung’s soulmate, leehan protector, taesan hater.

park sungho — 18 years old, yn’s older brother. loves his guitar and loves to sing! after years of encouragement from his sister and his friends, he set up a youtube channel where he posts covers and has garnered a couple thousand subscribers. somehow ended up in the friend group and is the resident #oldie — and boy, do they never let him forget it. is also friends with other people his age and is actually really well liked amongst his grade, but the others refuse to believe him.

jang wonyoung — 17 years old, definition of beauty and brains. went semi-viral just for being drop-dead gorgeous, and there are rumors that people transfer to koz prep just for her. but she cares way more about her studies and working for what she wants — you will never catch her slipping! actual boss at time management, juggling her studies, social life, and semi-influencer career. loves language arts and studying literature. yn’s soulmate.

kim leehan — 17 years old, unfazed by everything in life. he goes with the flow and adapts well no matter the environment, although the fact that he’s good at everything he does plays a large part in that. basically attached at the hip with taesan, and is a real sweetheart (if you can excuse his terrible habit of flirting with people he’s not even into.) also went semi-viral for being unbelievably handsome, could be more viral if he stopped posting updates on his corydoras and odd pictures of himself.

han taesan — 17 years old, nonchalant menace. loves the color black and almost exclusively listens to rock bands from the 80s, but don’t let that fool you. he’s an absolute walking headache, always pulling pranks on his friends and teasing them endlessly. fake ass emo!! also went semi-viral for his looks, and has the most dedicated fanbase out of the group. girls literally film fancams of him just existing at school, and he feeds into it with his #mysterious image. professional yn hater.

#boynextdoor #bnd #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor smau #boynextdoor fluff #boynextdoor fics #myung jaehyun #jaehyun #myung jaehyun x reader #myung jaehyun smau #myung jaehyun fics #myung jaehyun fluff #sungho #taesan #leehan #lu writes #ai4u

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pernadette · 8 months ago

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Ghost: Are you touching my sister?

The soldiers were speaking to Robert Smith, the lecherous head of security at the mall you worked for. You were initially nervous when they approached you, looking quite serious and official in their tactical gear. “Need to view your security footage,” one of them told you bluntly. He was a fearsome sight, face completely closed by a skull-covered mask.

You were forced to call Robert on the radio, despite your serious apprehension. The man was a pervert that enjoyed cornering shop girls and speaking as inappropriately as he could to get a reaction. He seemed to get off on embarrassing and intimidating you all. You tried to avoid him as much as you could, but being that he was your boss and you were new, and the only female security guard, it was near impossible.

With trembling hands that hopefully went unnoticed by the soldiers, you pressed down on your radio and spoke into it, "Robert to the downstairs office please, Robert to the downstairs office."

Several very awkward moments passed as you all were forced to wait for him to get there. The soldier with the Scottish accent looked you up and down, assessing you. "How'd a little bit like you become a security guard?" he asked conversationally.

You shrugged, not entirely certain yourself. "I needed a job and there isn't really much trouble here besides misbehaving teens and shoplifters."

The door to the office opened before he could reply, and Robert stepped inside. He was a tall man in his late forties, with narrow blue eyes and a hawkish nose. After a short exchange with the soldiers, he rather unhappily brought the security footage up on the computer and stepped back to let them watch what they needed to. “Hello lovely,” he greeted you quietly as he stepped to your side.

You shifted away, trying to be subtle. “Robert,” you greeted formally, dipping your head an inch. A nervous smile lifted your lips. Why were you smiling? He didn't deserve politeness nor civility. Yet you found you could not help the defensive smile that always came when faced with anxiety.

He leaned closer, lips far too close to your ear than was appropriate. “Those pants look good on you today. Nice and tight in all the right places.”

Panic filled you, but before you were forced to come up with a reply to the outrageous comment, the soldiers stepped back from the computer, looking pissed. “He was here hours ago,” the Scotsman complained.

“Missed him,” the skull-masked man affirmed with blunt irritation as they headed for the door. They were about to leave you alone with Robert. Heart hammering in your chest, you opened your mouth, yet words failed to escape your lips, caught in your treacherous throat. Don’t go, you wanted to cry out, but nerves struck you dumb. What if you spoke and they didn’t believe you?

The brawny Scotsman dipped his head courteously to you. “Thank ya’, lass.” The skull-masked man barely offered a glance.

"Wait!" you blurted out then, halting them both in their tracks. They turned and looked at you with mixed irritation and curiosity.

"Yea, lass?" the Scotsman asked, crossing his brawny arms over his chest.

Decision made, heart thundering in your chest, you moved swiftly to the skull-faced man and grabbed onto his arm, earning a sharp look. "This is my brother," you told Robert with a pointed look. His face paled a shade at the skull-faced man's attention. He looked between the two of you, eyes narrowing further as he picked apart the obvious lie. The skull-faced soldier remained silent, assessing the situation. Licking your lips, you pressed on, "He would prefer if you stopped speaking to me and the other girls inappropriately."

Robert's eyes widened then, and he stammered out, "I don't know what she's talking about!"

"Also," you pressed on, words coming fast now as you clutched the soldiers arm, "He would prefer if you stopped making all sexual advances, and stopped cornering us. And stopped touching us," you added as an after thought, though that was loosely covered under the first one.

Silence followed, and you risked a glance up at the soldier. He was staring hard at Robert, who was stammering out all kinds of defensive drivel. What if he didn't believe you? Your hands tightened instinctively on his thickly muscled arm. Please believe me, please believe me.

He took a step towards Robert then, pulling you with him as you refused to let go of his arm. "You touching my fuckin' sister, mate?"

Robert's ruddy complexion went about two shades paler as the blood drained from his face. "She's not your sister - I mean - no I - she - they're always-"

"Always what?" The Scottish soldier asked then, walking over, eyes glaring. "What exactly are they always doing that makes you think it's fine to harass the girls here?"

The skull-faced man removed his arm from your frightened grip but placed a heavy hand on your shoulder, eyes still on Robert. "We hear anything about you touchin' the girls here again, we'll be back."

"You understand?" the Scottish soldier pressed.

Once they received a sound affirmative from the stammering man, the soldiers deemed it fine to leave the two of you in pursuit of whoever it was they were chasing after. You watched the two march back down the long hall and disappear up the stairs that led to the second floor. Apprehensively, you looked at Robert.

Good news: That was the day Robert stopped the touches and comments.

Bad News: It was also the day you got fired.

#cod #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #call of duty #call of duty imagines #ghost #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #soap x reader

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tieronecrush · 2 years ago

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water in your hands

joel miller x f!reader

rating: E (18+ ONLY, MDNI. you will be blocked if you don’t have age/range in your bio)

word count: 9.7k (she's long but hopefully good?)

summary:

You are sick, and you're married, and you might be dyin' But you're holdin' me like water in your hands…

Joel will only end up failing you. You deserve better than him. He needs you to move on, to give him peace of mind. So, he gets married to someone else, to try to force you away. Except he just can’t let you go, and you always come back when he calls. Like a dog with a bird at his door.

warnings: NO USE OF Y/N, cheating (it’s moon song y’all), marriage, age difference (joel is canon age, reader is 20s/30s), use of pet names, discussions of water/drowning, ANGST, hurt/comfort, unprotected sex, fingering, praising, lowkey possessive joel & reader, undefined relationship, alcohol use, mentions of john lennon cause he needs his own warning, joel is messy and selfish

author’s note: this is my first time writing any sort of fiction in literal years, but i couldn’t help but try to write this idea cause i'm a sad girl who wishes joel miller was real! apologies for any typos/errors, i am the actual worst at proofreading (see, my master's diss that i read at least 50 times and still had typos in the submission). any interaction is appreciated <3

PART II HERE

dividers from @saradika

Fresh snow had fallen this morning, wiping away some of the evidence of daily life here in Jackson. The air was biting, you work your sleeves over ungloved hands to keep the chill away, cheeks flushed. Snow crunches under your boots while you rush from your house to work at the Tipsy Bison, Jackson’s bar. Because of course one of the first things restored in the commune, in the middle of the apocalypse, was the one place with all the alcohol. Not that you were complaining, it gave you a job in town that you enjoyed; you got to pass time by being around people and making conversation, something you didn’t get in the small cottage that you occupied by yourself.

Keeping your eyes trained on the ground as you walk, careful to watch out for patches of ice, you only look up when you hear your name called. It’s the familiar voice of your boss; at least, you call him your boss cause he makes your shifts, but he hates to feel any sort of claim over the place since, y’know, the whole communist thing.

Tommy Miller stands near the steps up to the bar, clad in his signature look of denim and chambray, denim’s sister (the man wore a Canadian tuxedo nearly every day, you kept a tally). He’s waving you over, and before you can greet him, your attention is pulled from Tommy to the pair standing next to him.

A man, looking slightly older than Tommy but eerily similar with light grays sprinkled in his brown hair, donning a suede winter coat that was fitted across broad shoulders. His beard was patchy, not covering much of his strong jaw. Hooked nose, syrup brown eyes, olive skin looking pale from the season. There was a scar on his right temple, and other healed injuries dotting around the exposed skin. He’s handsome.

The young girl next to him just reached the man’s shoulders at her full height, bundled up in layers of sweatshirts and an open coat that didn’t look very warm. Her beanie framed her face along with her brown hair, the look on her face one of obvious teenage annoyance. She looked barely fifteen.

Tommy started introductions, barely getting a word out before the mystery man cut him off.

“I’m Joel, Tommy’s older brother. And this is Ellie.” He gestures to the girl and she gives you a nod. Joel removes a glove and extends his hand. You meet halfway, feeling the need to apologize for your cold skin chilling his own much warmer. Work-worn fingers wrap around to meet the skin on the backside of your hand. Your mind wanders to how those hands would feel in other places like --

Tommy’s voice breaks up your thoughts, “They’ve been traveling for a few months now to come here to Jackson.”

A smile crosses your face, grip not yet leaving Joel’s. His mouth ticks up slightly to one side.

“Welcome to Jackson, Mr. Miller, and you too, Ellie. It’s nice to put a face to the brother that Tommy’s been telling me stories about.”

“Please, just Joel. And it’s nice to meet you too, I hope he’s only told the good stuff.” Before you can respond, Ellie quips in.

“For months you have refused to tell people your name and now the first pretty girl in this perfect fucking town and you’ve given it twice.” She rolls her eyes so hard they disappear into her skull. Been there, Ellie. The attitude of a teenager is universal, even in the apocalypse.

Joel’s head snaps to Ellie and he grits out under his breath a little too loudly, “Ellie, quit cursing.”

Blush creeps across his face and you note that he didn’t say anything about Ellie knowing he thought you were pretty. Joel breaks eye contact and lets your hand go.

“Alright, hon, we should be on our way. I won’t subject you to any more of my older brother. He’s not much of a conversationalist,” Tommy teases. Joel gives Ellie a run for her money with the intensity of his eye roll.

Waving to the newcomers, you step back to head up the stairs. Out of the corner of your eye, you swear you see Joel take the smallest step towards you, about to follow like a puppy.

“See you later, boss. Nice to meet you again, Ellie and Joel, enjoy your tour of our perfect fucking town.”

Joel glances back over his shoulder to watch you walk into the swinging doors. Lord, if you could read his thoughts. He knew he was in trouble the moment he saw that damn smile.

The last few weeks have been torture to Joel. He and Ellie had been back in Jackson for about a month now, getting settled in their new normal. However, it wasn’t the lifestyle change that was anguishing him.

He’d thought of you a few times after he’d met you that winter; remembering your smile when Ellie was quietly resting against his back on the horse, a fever dream of you when he was in the basement of that abandoned house, a rush of nerves when Tommy brought him to the bar for the first time since he’d been back. He was infatuated with you, and now that he’s living in the same town as you, it’s gotten worse. Foolish mind daydreams of you and him together, feeling like a teenager again with the way you make his knees weak. He’s been careful not to spend much time alone with you, reminding himself that he shouldn’t let someone like you get involved with someone like him. All he’d do was fail you, fail to give you a good life. Words were carved into his skull at this point:

You’re too broken, too bruised, too scarred, and full of guilt - you’re going to fail her, too..

The small two-bedroom cottage diagonal to his and Ellie’s house was yours, and the proximity wasn’t helping his situation. And not only were you his neighbor, but you worked at the place where Joel spent a good chunk of his free time - the bar. He’d get drinks with Tommy or other guards after a shift, and that evolved to going by himself in hopes to see you and drown his guilt over those hopes (among a lot of other things).

It’s these nights when he’s become a bit looser with his self-inflicted rules around you. He occupies the stool at the end of the bar, stealing glances as you help other customers. His index finger rims the dry glass in front of him. You approach with that same damn smile aimed at him. It’s a dangerous combination along with the liquor, both fuzz his rationality.

“Another one, Mr. Miller?” you nod to his glass, reaching out to take it from him. Soft fingertips brush over his skin, sending a jolt of energy up his arm.

He clears his throat and answers, “Now, darlin’, I think I told you to call me Joel. Actually, at this point, I think it would be classified as begging. Mr. Miller makes me feel old.”

Throwing your head back with a laugh, the skin of your neck is exposed. His tongue involuntarily wets his lips when he thinks of leaving a mark there.

“Feel old? You are old, Miller,” he fakes offensive, eyebrows raised, “Aw, c’mon Joel, you know I’m just kiddin’. You’ve still got it. That silver fox thing you got goin’ on really does it for women ‘round here.”

He wants to be bold enough to ask if it’s doing anything for you, but instead, he huffs a laugh and shakes his head in disbelief, taking the two fingers of whiskey you poured.

“And how do you know that, darlin’? Haven’t had many offers for courtship since I got here.”

“I work in the bar. Women get drunk and spill their every thought. Including that the new guy with the daughter is hot,” you lean over the edge of the bar top, face less than a foot in front of him. Your eyes shift down to his lips. “Plus, I might encourage the conversation with my own thoughts.”

That smile again, except now it’s more of a smirk. He sips his drink, capturing the lingering alcohol with a lick of his lips. Your eyes go again, watching his tongue.

“I’m glad I can be such a riveting topic of conversation for you, sweetheart. Hope it’s good thoughts only.”

“Wouldn’t say the thoughts I have about you are good, Joel,” he swallows hard hearing the flirtation in your comment, feeling his jeans tighten.

Snapped out of hazy judgment, he resurfaces from the alcoholic tides; the rules he has about you act as a life preserver for him to cling to before getting caught in your rip current.

Joel throws back the rest of his drink, standing from the stool. He needs to get out of here if he wants to keep his promise to himself. Well, not that he wants to, but it’s what’s right. He can’t get you involved with his broken self. Your face drops slightly at the sight of him leaving, and part of him wants to lean over the bar to grab your face and kiss you hard in reassurance that he has the same kind of thoughts. But he can’t.

So he wishes you goodnight and walks home, angry with himself for nearly crossing the line. But he can’t help but think of your smile, and those flirty comments, as he tries to fall asleep.

You’re wide awake. Every time you close your eyes, your brain starts looping your conversation with Joel. Fingers rub circles in your temples, cursing to yourself as you get the replay of his extremely quick exit after you’d said you have…not so good thoughts about him.

The only indication you’d gotten from him that he felt any type of way toward you is his periodic visits to the bar on his own, spending the night chatting and laughing with you. You’d sometimes find yourself meeting his stare when you’d see each other across the street from your porches or in town.

But he’d never made a move, hell the most he’d touch you was to take a glass of whiskey or beer bottle from you. So why did you think he would suddenly reciprocate when you’d made openly flirty comments?

You needed some air. Just to clear your head of this embarrassing play-by-play. You pull yourself to stand and grab the sweatshirt at the end of your bed before heading out.

Jackson had the sort of late spring, early summer climate that happened to be your favorite. Warm, mildly humid days that brought the colors back after winter, and chillier nights, the right temperature to keep your cotton sleeping shorts on and add an extra layer up top to keep you warm.

Without thinking, you started towards the old barn on the edge of the residential area. The structure had seen better days, mostly used for storage now, but the open field behind it had an incredible view of the sky at night. It was a place you loved to go when that deep, dull ache in your chest wouldn’t quit.

Gravel crunches softly under your feet, small pebbles slip out from under your soles with each step. Not remotely focused on what’s in front of you, it comes as a surprise when hands land on your biceps. Your knee-jerk reaction is to scream, but as you look from the ground to the person grabbing you, the sound dies in your throat when you meet chestnut eyes.

“Jesus, Joel, you scared the shit out of me! Hasn’t anyone told you, you can’t just go grabbing women at night? Well, at any time of the day, really.” Your voice is rasped into a whisper despite the fact that there’s not a soul around.

“Maybe you should be paying a bit more attention to your surroundings when you’re walking by yourself at night, sweetheart” Joel counters, mouth ticking up to the side as his drawl continues, “Don’t know who’s lurking in the shadows in little ol’ Jackson.”

“You’re apparently the only person lurking, and you’re not doing a very good job since you just came right up to me.”

“Couldn’t help myself, I guess. What’re you doin’ out here at this hour?”

Heat burns under the surface of your skin when Joel drops his hands from your arms, the sensation radiating throughout the rest of your body. “Couldn’t sleep. I was gonna go sit out in the field behind the barn for a bit, admire the moon.”

He lights up with the first genuine smile you’ve seen from him. He has the best poker face out of anyone you know, but a part of you hopes that he feels like he doesn’t need it around you.

“Mind if I join ya, darlin’? Might be nice to stargaze a bit.”

You have to hold back from nodding frantically, attempting to play it off as if you’re weighing your options, “I don’t mind at all. You can teach me about the stars.”

The walk over is quiet but comfortable. At the shabby split-rail fence, you lift your foot to the lowest rail and push off the ground to mount the barrier. Joel’s hand meets the small of your back to hold you steady. Heat emanates from the spot, fingertips brushing your sweatshirt. His warmth leaves you as you make it over, watching as he easily clears the fencing with one smooth movement.

“Any spot in particular?”

As an answer, you grab Joel’s hand. Nerves bubble in your stomach, two steps ahead with your arm outstretched behind. His larger strides are quick to close the gap, arms between your bodies with palms pressed together. His hand shifts in yours, fingers lacing with yours and curling around the outside of your smaller hand, his thumb skimming back and forth.

Steps slow at a small clearing in the tall, overgrown grass, settling down on the dewy ground. He lays back with you, not focusing on the stars right away. His eyes are a cooler shade in the moonlight, yet no warmth is lost in the way he looks as if he’d been waiting for this moment.

Suddenly aware of yourself under his stare, you lightly clear your throat and turn toward the sky. “Do you know a lot about astronomy? I never got to learn much, other than my brother teaching me how to find the north star to navigate.”

Joel’s attention moves to the stars, his voice coming out lower and softer than in the daylight, “I used to know a lot more. Did a lot of camping before and learned to find the major constellations. Taught Ellie some of ‘em, and now she’s got a few books on astronomy. She kept saying how she wanted to fly, go to space or the moon like Sally Ride.”

“She’d be a pretty badass astronaut.”

He laughs softly, nodding before his expression settles into one of reminiscence and guilt all muddled together.

“You’re not wrong,” he pauses shortly before continuing, “But, I think I can still remember most of the constellations. What’s that thing called where you’re assigned one when you’re born?”

“Astrology?”

“That’s it. I know where my constellation is. I’m a Libra, whatever that means.”

Joel lifts your joined hands, his index fingers extended as he traces out the shape of scales in the corner of the sky.

Pulling the limited memories you have from the book you’d found sitting on a shelf at home, you follow Joel’s finger, “Libras are supposed to be balanced, that’s the whole scales thing, I guess. And impartial, but sometimes indecisive. Oh, and charming.”

Joel nestles your hands back on the ground. “Balanced, impartial, and indecisive? Sounds a lil’ vague, darlin’. Not sure I’m believin’ the stars can tell you about your personality.”

“Well, they got the charming part right about you. You’re certainly a Southern gentleman, got ladies swooning left and right.”

“Nah, I don’t even notice ‘em. Too busy focused on someone I’m pretty charmed by myself.”

You let go of Joel’s hand, turning onto your side to face him. He mirrors you, and you take the chance to lean in. Lips touch together with a brush, breaths fanning over both of your faces as you wait for his response.

Joel sits up, weight resting on his elbow. Broad shoulders lean over to shift you onto your back, rich eyes never leaving you. His touch is confident, a large hand fully cups the side of your face. Fingers sprawl along your jaw, thumb on your cheekbone. His frame leans further over yours, lips hovering as his voice breaks the moment of silence in a rasp, “This okay?”

Your voice thick with anticipation answers, “Yes.”

His kiss sends ripples of tension over your body. Fingers curl into the fabric of his sleeves, feet press into the dewy earth, chest tightens with quickened beating, lips match his depth. He tastes minty from toothpaste, mixed with notes of the Tennessee whiskey he orders. It’s intoxicating, reminders of him to seep into your daily life.

Joel brings you closer with a hand in your hair. His tongue traces your lips, parting them to let him in. When his fingers leave the crown of your head, his touch floats over your body, caressing your waist, sprawling under your breast, and jumping to your exposed thigh. He’s pressing your skin back against your body as if you were going to flow out from under him.

His frame shifts over you, pulling him away and breaths mix from open-mouth exhales. Legs open and hands find purchase on his expansive shoulders, heat pooling at your center when his knees settle between yours.

“You’re so beautiful, darlin’,” Joel’s earthy tone sighs, his hands moving along your body with a rumble of satisfaction brewing out of his chest.

His touch surrounds your cheeks as if he was bringing water up to drink from his hands, only your lips are the means to quench his thirst. You moan into the deep kiss, finding a frantic rhythm together. Fingertips dance along his torso to reach the hem of his navy t-shirt.

Hot, humid kisses line your neck to the collar of your sweatshirt. Tugging at the fabric and slipping his hand underneath, you comply to get the material off. Your t-shirt follows in its wake, the chill of the ground and Joel’s touch spreading goosebumps on your skin.

You breathe out a moan at his teeth scraping the curve of your shoulder, hands pulling at his shirt. He follows the silent order, getting the soft cotton over his head.

His hips grind down, arousal flooding your core. Another moan slips at the feeling of Joel’s breath meeting a small peak on your chest, sucking the pebbled skin.

Hips jerk up against his bulge, Joel’s throaty groan cutting into the night.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so soft…”

He gives the same treatment to the opposite breast and large fingers hook in the waistband of your shorts, tugging lightly to ask permission.

“Touch me, please. Wanna feel you…”

Joel’s lips separate from the skin with a pop. Your shorts come off, Joel retaking his place between your velvety thighs.

His eyes worship your body, dark with lust but still harboring a warmth. A slight ache burns in your hips that you completely ignore when his knuckles brush up your covered slit.

There isn’t a single thought in his head that doesn’t revolve around you.

His fingers slide against the last piece of fabric covering you, feeling your wetness through it. Your delicate sounds encourage him, thumb finding your clit and rubbing slow circles. He watches for a moment, eyes catching your face as you whine.

“Joel, please…”

His teasing doesn’t cease. Instead, he removes his thumb from your clit, hooking his finger to pull your panties to the side and exposing your wetness to the chill of the night.

“Gonna have to tell me what you want, darlin’. Not a mind reader…” He grins as you huff out your frustration.

“Please, Jesus Christ, want your fingers inside of me…” you look at him impatiently as you wait for an answer.

Biting his lip to hold back a groan, he pulls your panties off to leave you completely naked under him. His mouth waters, taking you all in as his touch runs up your bent knees.

Two fingers gather your wetness, pressing harder circles into your clit. Your whimpers egg him on, slipping down to tease your entrance with one finger.

“Good girl. ‘M gonna make this pretty pussy come around my fingers.”

With a smirk, one finger slides into you. Moans fill the still air, the tightness of you around his middle finger making him stiffen. A second finger easily joins the first to work you open.

His name is repeated like a prayer when he hooks his fingers on the uptick, searching for that rough patch inside your walls.

“Fuck, Joel, feels so fucking good,” you writhe under his touch, the sight and sound of you falling apart making him ache. He uses the hand resting on your stomach as a temporary fix for himself, a deep moan interrupting the orchestra of your whimpers and wetness. He pulls his hand away from his jeans, the need to feel you come overpowering his own.

He moves in circles around clit while fingers work in and out quicker, wanton moans growing louder and higher in pitch to accompany the sounds of your drenched cunt.

“So tight around my fingers. Feels good, yeah? You gonna come for me, sweet girl?”

The sounds you make in response are lewd, pleasure overtaking you as you rasp out, “Joel, I-I’m-”

“I know, baby. Let it happen.”

His words push you over the edge, fingers nearly pushed out from how hard you clench around them. Moans flood his ears, and all he can focus on is making that feeling last for you.

Soft breaths return when you’ve recovered, hand finding him hard and working your palm. Fingers open his button and fly, shoving the fabric as far down as you can manage.

“You sure, darlin’? We don’t have to, watching you was enough for me.”

You make your way inside his jeans, fingers wrapping around his cock and stroking slowly. He’d never really been one to care about underwear in the middle of the apocalypse, and right now he was thanking his past, lazy self for the lack of barrier. A shudder ripples down his spine, your touch so much better than his own fist.

“‘M sure, baby. Need you inside of me,” he twitches in your loose grip at the request, pushing his pants down just far enough to free himself.

Nails scrape against his scarred chest, a moan escaping you as he guides the head of his cock through your slick before positioning himself at your entrance.

His eyes lock onto where your bodies meet as he enters with a gentle thrust, your nails biting into the skin under his collarbone. He looks for a second at your face, your nod permission for him to move once you’ve adjusted to the stretch.

He nearly comes at the sight of you taking him fully, your tightness and warmth making the edges of his vision blur. “So, so good, baby…Feels so tight and warm and wet. Perfect, you’re perfect.”

Wetness pools around the base of him and onto the grass below, drenching the sound of skin meeting skin. He watches your eyes screw shut, whimpering as you take every thrust, “Fuck, Joel. Feel so full, ‘m close already.”

His hips work you harder, feeling that taut rope in his gut near its breaking point. One hand leaves your leg held against him, licking his thumb to make quick movements on your clit. His name tumbles from your lips in a high-pitched whine and your head presses back against the ground.

“Come for me, baby.”

Your walls grip him tighter and nearly knock the wind out of his lungs, your back arching off of the grass and nails biting into his shoulders. Eyes open when you settle, clouded and full of pleasure. His thrusts grow sloppy as he chases after his own high.

“Fuck, ‘m close. Feel so damn good.”

“Come for me, please Joel, wanna see you come.”

Your begging snaps that taut feeling in his gut; he quickly pulls out and replaces your warmth with his fist. His chin falls to his chest with a guttural moan as he watches his spend cover your lower stomach, glistening in the soft light. Warmth spreads across his body in a tingle, pleasure clearing his head.

They say drowning is one of the more peaceful ways to go. Once the first few breaths of water fill your lungs, your muscles relax and there’s a warmth that washes over you. Then you pass out and everything goes black. It’s not comfortable, but the tranquility makes it better.

Joel feels like he’s drowned in you, muscles relaxed, warm peace in his chest. His vision is black for a moment, breaths deep in recovery. His eyes adjust to see moonlight flooding your face and body in cool blue. His hands start roaming again, softer this time. Pulling out of you slowly, your whimper meets his small hiss.

He lays you on your side to face him, your form molding like fresh clay.

“You okay?”

Your eyes close contently when his fingers brush your hair from your face, humming, “Fantastic. I wanted that to happen ever since I met you.”

His heart beats quicker at your confession, his mind immediately repeating those words - you’re going to fail her, too.

He only holds you closer in response, and by the time you’re both dressed again and walking back to your street, he knows that he can’t let this continue.

Guilt harbored in his chest over forcing himself to avoid you for weeks after you’d given him exactly what he longed for. He didn’t want you to think that he saw you as a one-night stand, it had felt like more than he wanted to admit, but he couldn’t seek you out to apologize. If he saw you alone, he’d end up doing it all over again. He didn’t regret it. He was just trying to do right by you. Give you space, give you the means to move on before you’d drift too far into the deep end with him.

So he decided to move on himself, try to force your hand into someone else’s if you saw him coupled up. It was cruel, but that’s who he was deep down. Cruel, guilty, undeserving.

He asked Tommy to set him up with someone, and his brother told him about a nice widow who’d been in Jackson since the beginning and had mentioned how cute she thought Joel was. That was enough for him. He asked her out that night.

He’d been dating Heather for a couple of months now. She was pretty, with medium blonde hair and blue eyes. Not much younger than him. Everyone knew they were together, and he assumed that meant you did too. He’d seen you around, eyes never meeting while he walked to his house hand-in-hand with her. He heard rumors of you leaving the Tipsy Bison with a guy in tow a few times, and despite the pang of jealousy that he felt, he kept reminding himself that this was right. You’d fall in love with that guy or someone else, forgetting all about him.

A few months of dating led them to a quick engagement. Joel still couldn’t get you out of his head and took extreme measures to ensure nothing more would happen. They got married in his backyard in a small ceremony. The occasion was lowkey, at the request of Joel. Word spread after the first outing Joel had taken to the market, the silver band on his finger telling everyone what they wanted to know. Each conversation came with congratulations to him and his new wife. He returned them with tight, polite smiles, hiding the oozing guilt that was filling his chest.

Joel had found out that you’d skipped work a few times when Tommy mentioned it in passing on patrol, which was extremely unlike you considering you loved your job. He knew it was because of his marriage.

He tried to bury his worry, telling himself that he was doing the right thing. For him and for you.

Heather had lived her young life with her first husband, she wouldn’t grow to resent him for what he failed to give her. You would move on, as he did, and find some nice guy to settle down with, who could give you what you were looking for. What you deserved.

The worry carried over the day, his brain jumping to worst-case scenarios. He had to make sure you were okay. He would knock on your door to see if you were there. It was the neighborly thing to do.

Joel silently left his bed with his wife sleeping next to him, slipping out the front door in the hours before dawn. He needed to check on you, even if he had to look in through your windows to make sure you were alive. Knuckles lightly rapped on your door, and just as he was nearly about to go find your bedroom window, the door cracked apart from the jamb, and your face was lit by the soft night light.

“What are you doing here?” He can taste the bitterness in your tone.

He swallows down at the toes of his boots, raising both shoulders in a small shrug.

“Tommy said you skipped out on work most of this week. Just wanted to make sure you were alright. That you were alive.” He tries to joke, but your expression remains annoyed.

“Well, I’m fine. Alive. You should probably go, your wife’s at home.”

The door starts to shut, but he quickly grips the edge, rasping out, “I need to talk to you.”

You pause for a second before opening the door. Not waiting for him, you move to sit on your couch. Joel strides over, sitting at the other end and cheating his body towards you curled up in the corner.

“What do you need to talk about?”

“I need to apologize to you. I shouldn’t have ignored you after that night. Hell, that night shouldn’t have even happened. I got caught up-”

“Do you regret it?”

He thinks about saying yes. It would make everything so much easier. You could hate him, call him an asshole for fucking you and breaking your heart. But he can’t lie to you.

“No. I could never regret it.”

“So why shouldn’t it have happened?”

He sighs, wringing his hands together and resting his elbows on his knees.

“Honestly? I’ve been trying so hard to do right by you, darlin’. You deserve so much more than me. I’m broken, bruised, scarred. I’ve lived an ugly life, and I don’t want to end up giving any part of it to you. I can barely live with myself for the things I’ve done, even if I’ve done them to save my people. I’ve lost so much, and taken all the same. You’re so bright. I see it in that beautiful smile of yours. You deserve someone who can add beauty to your life, to live a long while with you. I can’t do that for you. All I’m going to do is fail you; it’s all I can seem to do these days. So I chose for us, and I moved on, and I hope you can find the same thing.”

After a breath, he feels like he can face you. That confidence crumbles immediately when he sees the tears streaming down your cheeks, the soft sniffle as you wipe your runny nose with your sleeve.

“That’s not true, Joel. You could never fail me because all I ever wanted you to give me was yourself. I love you, Joel. You are someone that can give me a beautiful life. Or could’ve, I guess, but now…” your eyes flick to the band on his left ring finger, “What you did was so fucking selfish, Joel. You couldn’t even have a conversation with me. And no matter how angry I get with you, I still can’t help but fucking love you.”

All he can do is kiss you. He’s spilling every emotion he can’t speak into this kiss. It would be wrong to tell you what you want to hear from him, even if it hurts to keep it inside him. His hands run over your body, gathering you in his arms and guiding you back to your bedroom.

He shouldn’t keep going. He should stop. But the feeling of your lips on his, your soft skin in his hands, and the fact that you love him keep his feet moving down the short hallway.

He can’t give you up. He was in way too deep and he would be damned if he wasn’t going to pull you in with him.

Despite the anger, sadness, and betrayal, your love for him overpowered it all. You needed to show him, to let him go with a searing memory of how you feel.

All of the actions between you two are sloppier than before. Each touch is rougher, grabbing at whatever you can take in the midst of heady kisses. Every movement is filled with unspoken words.

Joel gently pushes you the last few inches onto your bed, kicking off his boots and working at the buttons of his shirt, “Take it all off, baby, don't wanna waste a second.”

You’re only apart for as long as it takes for clothes to be shed. Back against the pillows of your unmade bed, arms pull Joel in and legs spread wide. His weight is supported with one arm, a soft moan exhaled as he bites his mark into your neck. Fingers move through your wetness, circling your clit.

It’s your turn to be selfish, and all you want is for Joel to feel himself inside of you. To remember what it’s like to have you when he goes home. To think about you when he fucks his wife. It feels wrong to want that, but you can’t help but feel a claim over him. The fingers tangled in his hair pull his head from its spot at the curve of your shoulder. You meet his lust-blown eyes and speak your demand.

“Fuck me, please, I need you now.”

Joel groans, fingers ceasing their movement as he questions you, “You sure, darlin’? You ready for me right now?”

“Yes, ‘m ready, please, baby,” you plead with him.

Joel repositions himself upright on his knees between your wide legs, stroking himself to get fully hard. He drags the head of his cock up your slit, coating it with your wetness before he presses the tip inside of you. You feel a tinge of pain as he splits you open, but you whisper for him to keep going.

When he’s completely inside of you, Joel sighs out your name, hands gripping your thighs and bringing one up to wrap around his waist, allowing him to sink further.

“Please, Joel, want it hard…” you whimper out, feeling the sensation of him in your gut. Joel needs no further instructions, pulling back to fuck into you hard and deep.

He watches where your bodies connect, how the drag of his cock swells your cunt. Lip pulled between his teeth, the sight makes his hips snap roughly against yours.

He’s leaving bruises with how tight he’s holding onto you, keeping you from moving up the mattress with the power of his thrusts. You don’t say anything until Joel breaks, fucking you with a possessive drive, “Mine. You’re all mine.”

“Only yours, baby. ‘M only ever gonna be yours.”

“You’re made for me, sweet girl, made to take me. Feel so fucking good, such a perfect pussy.”

You’re relieved when his eyes leave yours as he watches him hit inside you again, tears pricking your eyes from the pain and pleasure pounding through you and the thought that he won’t ever be completely yours.

That stupid piece of metal around his finger burns against the skin of your thigh. It should be a symbol of you, not someone else.

Hurt, anger, and pleasure meld together. Hands move to Joel’s shoulders, using your strength to flip over. His back hits the crumpled pillows at the headboard, sitting up as you straddle him.

“Look so beautiful on top of me, baby,” his chest rises and falls in quick succession, the next inhale sharper as you sink down completely, watching his eyes screw shut and a deep moan vibrate his chest.

“Oh fuck, take what you need, darlin’. Use my cock. I’ll give you whatever you want.”

Your mouth opens to tell him you can’t have what you want most. Because of what he decided for the both of you. Instead, a moan tumbles out, hips starting to roll to work him back to that near-ecstasy feeling. The room is filled with the wet smacks of skin meeting skin mixed with wanton moans. Your movements keep you both near the edge, your head back and eyes closed as you scream Joel’s name. He doesn’t reprimand you for potentially exposing yourselves to the neighbors, only reaching a hand to the back of your neck and pulling you in for a passionate kiss. You can tell he’s close when his feet dig into the mattress, hips under his vice grip. He starts fucking up into you, both of your rhythms meeting to work you higher. One hand leaves his chest to hold the side of his head, forcing him to meet your eyes.

“‘M yours…” you echo his lust-filled words. You need to remind him that at least part of him will always belong to you, that only you can make him feel this good, this loved. That you’re the one who fucks him like this. “Made for you, right? Just for you, baby. No one besides you can make me feel this good, make me come like you can. Ruined me for everyone else.”

“Mhmm, that’s fuckin’ right, darlin’. This pussy’s mine. You belong to me, all to me.” Joel’s thrusts become frantic and you lose your rhythm, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing quick circles.

You come hard, screaming his name again and whining with each thrust after your intense orgasm. Joel’s right behind you, your sounds pushing him over the edge. Warm ropes coat your walls, his husky groan reverberating under your palms pressed to his chest. Your voice can barely reach a whisper when you look at him, fingers moving to tug his hair, “And you belong to me.”

He doesn’t say anything if he even hears you, his skin sticking against yours and his come dripping out of you onto his stomach when you move to lie down. Joel gets up after he steadies his breath to grab a warm cloth from the bathroom to clean you up. He crawls back into bed, slipping under the covers after tossing the dirty washcloth into the hamper. Your head finds his chest, curling up into his side with his arm wrapping you up. He kisses your forehead as you drift off, feelings of guilt, anger, and love rising from your gut to sit square in your chest.

Cold sheets. That’s what you wake up to. Sitting up in bed, you glance around your room with sleepy eyes, searching for any evidence of Joel.

Nothing. He must’ve left after you fell asleep. You can’t blame him. It definitely wouldn’t look the best if his wife woke up in the morning and he was nowhere to be found. And he couldn’t risk someone seeing him sneak out of yours in the morning light.

You’re remembering your confession that was met with his claim over your body. Your own stupid attempt to make him believe that he belonged only to you, spurred on by his possessive words.

Something on the nightstand catches your eye. A note from Joel:

Meet me at our spot tonight, sweet girl

You met him that night, and nearly every night since then, too. Mostly in that overgrown field behind the barn, sometimes at yours when you craved complete comfort of the couch or bed.

Joel started staying later with you, holding you after the possessive claims he made over you like a prayer. He opened up about his time with Ellie before Jackson, stories about Boston, about Tess. What it was like growing up with Tommy, confessing he loved to sing and play guitar, even wanted to be a singer when he was younger and somehow ended up as a contractor. He even told you about his daughter Sarah, how beautiful and bright she was.

You told him your own story too. Leaving the Chicago QZ with your brother and sister when everything went to shit with FEDRA and the Fireflies. How you lost your sister soon after, bit by a straggling clicker in a gas station you were raiding. How your brother was the one to shoot her when she begged you both. Stories about traveling west with him, how he protected you until the day he died. You were chased by raiders looking to kill you both for your supplies, running through the forest just along the river outside of Jackson. You didn’t know the community was there, but it ended up being your saving grace. Your brother pushed you to run over the bridge, the men finally catching up to him. You couldn’t stop, couldn’t look back. All you could do was scream as you heard a gunshot.

Joel held you as you cried, you comforted him when he needed it. He never told you what happened after he and Ellie left Jackson that first time, he didn’t have to if he didn’t ever want to. These vulnerable moments brought you closer together.

But it was never close enough to stop the cycle he developed of pushing you away after a few weeks together, getting so in his head about the situation, feeling guilty, or getting paranoid if he suspects that Tommy or Maria or his wife are catching on. His abandonment would last a few days or even a week at a time.

And you always wait it out, always come back when he wants you.

Like a dog with a bird at his door, you gave all of yourself to him.

It’s a late night at work for you. Joel parked himself on his usual stool, drinking ‘til last call after his buddies left, something he’d done often in the last few weeks.

Tommy finished restocking the fridges under the counter and tossed you the keys to lock up. As he leaves, he gives Joel a knowing look and you a sympathetic one.

Joel slaps his hands against the bar top, standing when you walk from behind the counter. His steps falter a bit as he gets used to the ground underneath him. Steadying him with an arm around his back, he wraps his own around your shoulders to keep you at his side.

“Let me walk you home, baby.” Words slurs together, eyes half-lidded and glazed over. It would be a bit endearing to see him without his usual stoic persona, but the fact that this is the third night this week that he’s gotten this drunk is concerning.

You end up carrying Joel all the way home, and just when you’re about to get him to his front door, his strength overpowers your own and he pulls you away with him, dragging you two in a drunken stupor down the road.

His steps are heavy and sporadic while he whistles some song in your ear, reaching the field. He flops down into the grass, his arms sneaking around your waist when lay down with him. Joel pulls you in close, kissing you deeply and sighing against your mouth. He smells of whiskey, leather, and musk; all combining to be uniquely Joel.

You couldn’t bring yourself to argue with him about getting home so you let him kiss you, let his hand under your shirt. You listened to him recollecting the night with the patrol guys. The only touches exchanged were his fingertips running up and down your side under your loose t-shirt and your cheek pressed against his denim-covered chest.

He brought up a song that was playing on a record at the bar, John Lennon’s Woman. He reminisced about hearing that song as a young teen for the first time, and telling you how a couple of years later he wrote the lyrics down for his tenth-grade girlfriend, telling her he wrote a poem for her.

“She read it, obviously knowing the song. She crumpled it up, said ‘That’s John Lennon, not you, Joel Miller,” and walked away from me. Needless to say, she broke up with me.”

“Wow, a breakup over plagiarism. Must’ve been a real stickler for academic honesty,” you reply, sending both of you into giggles.

His laugh faded slightly, the wrinkles still showing next to his eyes and his smile lines present, jovially commenting, “You probably barely even know who John Lennon is.”

He laughs but his words made you feel small. He teased you before about the age difference, but for some reason, you couldn’t brush this one off.

“Y’know, I still remember what life was like then.”

His hand finds your chin, tilting your head up with a sigh, “That’s not what I meant, darlin’, you know I was just teasin’. You probably didn’t even know it was John Lennon if you heard one of his songs when you were young, baby.” You sit up quickly, separating from him.

“He was a fucking Beatle! Like the biggest band ever. I might be younger than you, but I’m not stupid. They were around even before you were born, so yeah, I do know who John Lennon is. And did you know he cheated on his first wife, like, a bunch of times and left her for one of those women? Sound familiar, Joel? Actually, probably not, ‘cause you’d never actually admit how you feel about me and leave your wife, even though you love me,” your words come out before you even have a chance to think about them, and as you look at Joel, you can tell he’s letting his anger and annoyance come over him, his expression turning to stone, “I feel like you just see me as some naive girl who doesn’t know anything or hasn’t dealt with shit in this world -”

“You haven’t done nearly a fraction of what I’ve had to do in this world, darlin’, so don’t get started. You are a naive girl. You’ve always had someone to protect you, and I’ve always been the protector. You don’t know nothin’ about losing yourself or having to do the worst possible thing just to save yourself or your people,” his voice is low and unwavering with an intensity you hadn’t heard before. He’s trying to hurt you now, bringing up the protection that you’d been given by your brother before he died to save you, the fact that you’ve always had support from him or the people of Jackson.

Your eyes gloss over, blurring his hunched-over figure. His words are venom seeping through the well-worn cracks in your heart. Curling up into a ball and chin on your kneecaps, pressing down into the bone to keep your lips from trembling. How childish you must look like this. Joel doesn’t move to comfort you, staring a thousand yards ahead, emotionless.

“I know you think I don’t know the guilt or pain or heartbreak that you feel 'cause I’ve been protected for a lot of my life in this world. But being in love with you, being some dirty secret to you, has given me enough guilt, pain, and heartbreak to last for the rest of my life.”

A shaky breath slipped out of your parted lips, untangling your limbs from their locked positions to stand. You turn away, legs carrying you home. You don’t look back, wiping your tears away as quickly as they fall. You’re exhausted from him, from this whirlpool of loving and leaving that he’s pulled you into. A part of you breaks just the slightest bit more, a new piece for you to mend whenever he calls you back.

You should hate Joel. He pulled you in and pushed you away, and all you could do was fall, but now it felt like sinking. And your feet won’t ever touch the bottom.

He’s taken your love willingly, and only given you possessive invocations over your body, only made your constant pain burn hotter. Linen soaked up the tears that were left on your cheeks as you laid down in bed, exhaustion taking over.

The image you see feels warm, blurred around the edges. It was his home, no sign of his wife but evidence of Ellie in the comic book and worn-out sneakers near the chair across the room. Soft strums of a guitar float around, and your sights lock on him at the other end of the couch. You have this feeling that you need to say something to him, but can’t remember for the life of you what it is; the moment overwhelming. He’s singing and playing guitar, unabashed, and with a genuine smile only for you. Tender brown eyes glance away as someone walks into the room. Ellie’s holding a lopsided birthday cake with a few candles lit. It’s decorated with a sloppy frosting drawing of the ocean, a boat on the horizon. It was a reminder of the daydream you had vocalized to Joel, spending a life on the shore in a small sailboat together. The song he was playing softly fades into Happy Birthday, his smile matching Ellie’s. All you hear, before the image fades, is his voice as you lean in to blow out your candles, “Happy birthday, darlin’. I love you.”

The clinking of stacking glasses is the only sound echoing through the empty bar as you and Tommy close out. Joel’s been ignoring you, has been for a couple of weeks after your fight, spending his free time picking up shifts or staying at home with his family. The rag you’re holding moves in circles over the shiny bar top, reflecting your face back to you. You can see the pain in your eyes seeping back after spending the night putting on a face for your customers.

“You don’t need to keep on paintin’ that pretty smile on your face, hon. I hate seein’ you looking like you’re gonna crack your jaw from forcing yourself to look happy,” Tommy sighs, looking over at you while he continues to polish the glass in his hand. “What he’s doing to you, it’s wrong. You deserve to be treated with respect.”

“He wasn’t doin’ anything I wasn’t letting him do. It takes two, Tommy. Think you’d know that with a newborn around,” you try to lighten the mood, kicking yourself for still defending Joel.

“I know. But I also know how you look at him. Like you’ve been drownin’ at sea and he’s the one who’s come along to save you.” You finally look up from your reflection on the bar surface; the shame in your face becomes too much for you.

“At this point, it feels more like he’s the one pulling me under.”

Tommy sets the glass down and tosses the rag at it. Closing the small space between, he pulls you against his chest, arms around your shoulders. You can’t cry in front of him, embarrassed that he even knows about you and Joel in the first place, let alone that he feels sorry for you. You reciprocate the hug, gingerly wrapping your arms around his torso. The sound of the door swinging echoes in the large room. Tommy let’s you out of his comforting embrace and turns to meet the late patron.

Joel.

He’s standing across the room, eyes moving between his brother and you. He came looking for you, not expecting Tommy to still be closing out the bar with the baby at home. A furrowed brow creases lines between those soft, guilt-ridden brown eyes. The same look he’s had every time he’s shown up at your door at 2 AM to apologize, kiss you, show you how much he needs you. You fall every time, wanting to be his comfort, his relief. His lighthouse in the storm of remorse he’s constantly battling. Loyal to a fault.

At this moment, you wish for a wave to pull you under and sweep you into the tide.

Tommy asked him to wait outside.

Asked is generous. More like, grabbed Joel by the collar and dragged him outside like a scolded puppy, pointing his finger and giving him a strong, “Stay.”

He did as he was told, leaning against the post at the top of the stairs. Arms crossed over his chest and anxiously tapping his foot against the wood porch.

Both you and Tommy left at the same time. Joel would be knocked out on the spot if Tommy had his way, judging by the look on his face. The younger Miller wished you goodnight and you gave him a reassuring nod as you stayed back to face Joel.

Tommy’s out of sight and out of earshot before you break the silence.

“So…why’d you come here? Thought you’d be done with the naive girl.”

Joel raises to his full height, taking a hesitant step toward you. You don’t move away, but he keeps his distance in order to get his thoughts out.

“Darlin’, I’m -” he starts, pausng for a moment to gather his words, “I keep doin’ this, don’t I? Being happy with you, then pushing you away and hurting you. I’m sorry, sweet girl. I’m so, so sorry. I don’t want to fight with you. I shouldn’t have said those things to you, I know what you’ve been through. You’re not naive. You’re mindful, attentive in ways I could never be. I hurt you. I haven’t done this the right way. I haven’t protected you like I should’ve 'cause I couldn’t stay away from you. I’m what you needed saving from and I’ve been too selfish to keep us both from drowning.”

You worry your lip between your teeth as tears gloss over your eyes. He steps closer to you, hands reaching up to cup your face. He’s not sure if you’re going to slip between his fingers, but he’s trying his best to keep you there with him. Tears fall, his thumbs working to wipe them away. Not letting a drop of you to slip away from his touch.

He can see the innerworkings of your brain in your eyes. He knows how to read you; he can see the battle in your head about whether or not he’s saved this time. Your voice is coated in emotion when you finally speak up again, “I’ve heard drowning is actually kind of a peaceful way to go, all things considered. And if it’s going to be with anyone, I’d choose you.”

That damn smile finds its way across your face in spite of your tears, and he can’t help but mirror it. It’s a welcome home for him, the light pulling him into your harbor - safe once again. He leans down to press a soft, tender kiss to your lips, deepening it for a moment when you reciprocate.

His hand finds yours when he pulls away, “Let’s go for a walk, sweet girl.”

Joel leads you away from the bar, walking down your street. You slow down when you get in front of your cottage, moving to walk down your path. He stops you, shaking his head and mouth ticking up in a small smile. His eyebrows are raised in a silent question, asking you to come with him. You fold easily, taking your place next to his side, hands intertwined.

He takes you to your spot where he’s set up a blanket and a couple of flickering lanterns for some light, but not enough to disturb the view of the moon.

“Joel…this is wonderful, I’m - I don’t know what to say, thank you.” Your hand squeezes his and he shrugs the praise off.

“Don’t thank me, baby, I should be doin’ this for you all the time. ‘S what you deserve.”

He’d gotten a couple of strange stares when he’d been walking down the road with a blanket under one arm and the lanterns in his hand. It occurred to him that people would think he was doing it for his wife, that they might ask her about it tomorrow and he’d be in for a line of questioning. But damn the consequences, he needed to do this for you. To give you something.

Joined hands pointing out more constellations he remembers and ones that Ellie knew, having asked her specifically to help him find the one for your zodiac. As the two of you lay on your backs, curled into each other, he’s taken back to the conversation Ellie and him had about their combined dream of a sheep ranch on the moon. Now that dream, at least for him, included you, too.

“I think it’d be nice out there. Without this world, feeling weightless.” He wishes for that down here, to lighten the load on his chest and the guilt on his shoulders. A different life.

You hum in agreement and he continues, “I wish I could just bring the moon down here, to take the weight off us, and to give Ellie the chance to get her dream.”

You’re quiet for a beat before your words wrap him in warmth, “If I could give you the moon, I would.”

You’d do anything for him, he knows that. And he’d do anything for you.

As those words cross his mind, the ring from his finger burns in his pocket. He’d taken it off to rid you both of the reminder of how this night would end, how every night would end. A little metal circle that has decided your fates, at least for now. His voice is slightly gravelly in his throat as he answers, “Maybe in another life, yeah?”

if you got to the end, i'm giving you a big smooch.

taglist: @swiftispunk (supportive bae)

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just-animaxiz · 3 months ago

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Boss Finn Headcannons

Out of every citizen out there besides Sylvia, Boss Finn often hangs out with Corsac. Not only Boss Finn finds not only Corsac's electric aura steady and risky for such a brave face, but he's the only one who appreciates Corsac's naturalist jokes... As long as it's water-related.

They do share a common hatred and fear of Dolphins. Finn hates it when they chase him around like a toy, steal his jewelry and collection, or even whip him hard enough for a big groan. Corsac, on the other hand, knew that sharks aren't as vile as dolphins, who were the actual tormentors of the sea. They are unpredictable and can be aggressive even when Corsac thought they were gentle and quiet. Whenever people spot Dolphins, they to stare at awe; however, Corsac and Finn only glare.

Boss Finn likes to scare Mint. It's like a big brother and little sister thing, and Mint finds it annoying. When he scared her at Halloween, she wished she could have a real scythe and slice him down like sushi. Boss Finn thinks she looks like a small pufferfish by the way her cheeks puff up at him.

Boss Finn canonically lives in a seaside shack, but that's his "Land" home while his real bed is in a lovely cavern beneath it. It's not a total wreck, but it's not too fancy either. He has the shack there to store his collection, TV, his pictures, one of sylvia's robes that she left after watch TV with him and he loves it so much like a blankie.

Boss Finn has many siblings, like Luna and Mint; however, due to their lack of parental figures and shark behaviors, they went out in their separate ways. They do write each other letters about their lives, and those who didn't.. Were probably dead.

Boss Finn used to spy on humans when he's young. He observes their behaviors, their rich goals, their fancy interests, and anything to give him a boost to the top of the human food chain. When he became a member of the underworld, he observed criminals and cons' predatory tactics to do the same.

Despite being big with ego, Boss Finn is very self-conscious of losing. His old group remind him constantly that winning is everything, and if a big shark like him fail at one thing, he's washed out. After Sylvia made him realize his new path, Boss Finn isn't afraid of losing anymore.... Especially if he has to deal with a blocky, cunning negotiator like Quinn a lot.

Boss Finn has a good talent on everything, including Make-up. He loves to put them on for Halloween, maybe some for tests, and when he and Sylvia became a thing, he put some on her as a gift! She gives him back with lipstick markings around his face~

Boss Finn is the leading champion of his people's swimming competition. They have to race across various reefs, dangerous currents, and life-threatening monsters, and those who aren't competitors cheer for the winner. This is one of the only competitions Boss Finn wouldn't cheat because he's a natural.

The only thing about the competition is that it's just a three-yearly thing and not some regular event. That's why Finn wants to pursue a business he wants to make for himself daily.

Boss Finn is a magnet to the underwater ladies and gents. They leave him offerings, try to flirt with him, and even would kill each other for him. After he became Sylvia's BF, Boss Finn tries to negotiate a plan to lessen the potential murders and jealousy... And lessen the attraction from other shark men who kept their predatory eyes on his girl.

He got into the Itsy Bitsy Kaiju obsession when he spied on a couple of teens talking about the cards and their costs. Finn then went to a hobby shop, and while searching, he discovered a pack of cards that smelled different from the rest. After opening it, he discovered a very rare card and was so proud of it. He still kept it in his binder to this day and TCG became his thing.

Boss Finn always has his hair tied cuz it takes him a long time to get it combed without tangles, and it's easier for him to comb a hold of his hair without a single loose strange on his forehead. He also likes it when Sylvia smothers her face in his hair, commenting how soft it is. He does use the best quality of shampoo and conditioner.

Finally, Boss Finn really wants to break the cycle of how shark parents aren't there for their kids. After he and Sylvia became a thing, he had dreams of having kids with her and giving them the best lives. He would spoil them, protect them, playfully scare them, and most of all... It felt like he can say "I'll always be there and I'll always love you." whenever he tucks them to sleep... Because for once in a shark's life, a father will be there to raise his kid.

#potionomics #potionomics masterworks #boss finn #potionomics headcannons #headcannons #potionomics boss finn

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jjmaybankssurfergf · 3 days ago

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I’m done with this shit I’m name dropping now

Ok so I had simply made a statement since apparently it’s not Rachel’s fault Snow White is ruined.

are you fucking serious, she is the one trashing Walt Disneys Snow White. She is the one saying “it’s not 1937 anymore” “it’s not going to be a love story”

I know the Original Snow White is by the brothers Grimm, I’m not stupid like you. Walt Disney had made an adaption to Snow White he didn’t copyright it fully he made an adaptation. With that being said it is a beloved German story and fairytale Disney movie. Her trashing it makes it worse because not only was it Walt Disneys it was the brothers Grimm since you now want to bring it up.

What pisses me off more now is the Prince is apparently a Pedophile now. The movie was in 1937 dumbass, there were age gaps, incest and a lot of other things that happened that are illegal now. Greek mythology has a lot of incest considering Zeus is married to his sister Hera. Egyptians had incest because it was apart of their culture for their blood lines. It didn’t matter then because they didn’t have what we have now and they didn’t learn the same things that we learned back then. Back then it was very Normal to marry someone twice your age, and back then it wasnt considered pedophilia. im not being dramatic, about a beloved Disney character and a fairytale character (since you want to bring up the German folk tale Snow White also know as Sneewittchen) I’m a Disney fan, who is against butchering Disney films, classic Disney films that were made for children so they had imagination growing up. You forget it was Walt disneys dream was to create a magical place for children and families through drawings and movies.

Rachel isn’t innocent for destroying Snow White. She only watched the movie once, like she said and she didn’t watch it again because she didn’t like it (nothing wrong with that) but if you are going to be an iconic Disney princess and you are going to be paid millions of dollars for it be grateful and don’t talk trash. And once again yeah it’s the director and script writers fault too, but Rachel has to take credit for her actions since she has been publicly shaming the movie.

And Snow white would’ve stayed dead if the prince didn’t give her true loves kiss to bring her back to life. She would’ve died and not come back.

Here is one of my posts about more of her and more info about how she is ruining the movie along with the directors and script writers

And here is another post I found about how hard Walt Disney worked for Snow White to be on the big screen, and how people are now trashing it so if fits our woke standards and agenda cause apparently the prince is a “pedophile” the movie was made in 1937 the story was published in 1812. Age gaps were very normal in that time era and it wasn’t illegal like it was now. The story takes place in Germany get over it. If you wanna go back in history let’s do it. If you want to bring up the original story let’s do it because it was published in fucking 1812.

I grew up with old Disney, old Disney meaning Bambi, Cinderella, SNOW WHITE, steamboat Willie, dumbo, Pinocchio, sleeping beauty, fantasia, and owswald the lucky rabbit, ALL of those fucking movies.

So do not tell me im being dramatic, I’m supporting facts which you are failing to do. In the beginning I asked “give me one good reason how she is a humble good person” you clearly didn’t do that

Here’s what you said I copied and pasted it so it completely accurate

“that might be shocking to you but she's not the script writer. she's the actress. and tho i don't agree with everything she said about snow white, she has nothing to do with changes that was made in the movie. go hate on her somewhere else. you gotta have boring life to put an effort into going to positive posts about rachel to hate on her lol”

that’s what you said, you didn’t support any facts or any sources how she is a humble person all you did was put the blame on the script writer because they wrote the script. I will say yeah they played a part in butchering the movie but so did Rachel until you support and sources or facts on how she is supposedly the “humble” person you claim she is the blame is still on her for talking shit on the original which is a German folktale (I know that because I’m part German) and a fairytale by the brothers Grimm and too too that it’s also a beloved Disney movie, that Walt Disney put time and effort and went in thousands of dollars in debt to make because he believed in her so much because he wanted to bring the magic into Disney.

as an old Disney fan, I’m beyond disappointed and disgusted that they are butchering Snow White. One because it was Walt disneys baby and two she was the first Disney princess movie he had ever made. Walt Disney is rolling in his grave and this is why Disney is going down the drain. They love to change the story of beloved Disney princess’ and they love to butcher them because they think it’ll make them more money. I’m not dramatic I’m supporting facts along with my passion for Disney because I grew up with Disney movies.

@lovl3igh

#my posts🚌#I’ll leave it at that for now because I’m disappointed and disgusted #Anyone who wants to talk about how Disney is destroying any other movie you may reblog and rant #anyone who else wants to rant about how Snow White is being butchered you can also reblog #rachel zegler #snow white #disney movies

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abbatoirablaze · 5 months ago

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Deal With The Devil, Chapter 10

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, throuple, mmf, latent homosexual feelings, men kissing, threesome, cheating?, dubcon relationship

“J-James!” she moaned yet again, surprise lacing her features as he kept his steely eyes trained on her. Her lips parted and another orgasm took hold of her as he greedily suckled her clit. His fingers continued to work feverishly inside of her, stretching her tight, virginal cunt, “JAMES!”

“That’s enough, Buck…” Steve said firmly.

But Bucky only grunted in response, doubling down his efforts. He knew that this was probably going to be his one chance to show her how he felt, and he’d be damned if he wasted the opportunity.

“Buck…I-I need to ask you a favor.”

Bucky’s brow quirked as he looked at Sam. But the second in command was holding up his hands, “I ain’t got nothing to do with this brother. Steve’s got some crazy shit cooking in his head though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Close the door, Buck.” he said firmly, "I don't need anyone else hearing about this."

“What’s this about?”

“He wants you to fuck his wife, man.”

Bucky stopped in front of Steve’s desk, “excuse me?”

“Bunny, she-she’s upset about the strippers…”

“Rightfully so,” Bucky said quickly, cutting him off, “you brought home five of them and fucked them in your room.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “she says she can’t trust me.”

“Again…I’m failing to see where she doesn’t have a good point, boss.”

“I’m giving her a hall pass!” Steve rebuked, “I’m going to let her do the same thing.”

Bucky chuckled, “you want your virginal fiancé to have sex with five other guys at the same time?”

Steve frowned, “No. But I do want her to be experienced. I want her to know what it's like to have that...experience. I want someone to go down on her.”

“That’s not the same as fucking five women, Steve.”

He shook his head, “you don’t get it, Barnes. It’s not about being ‘even,’ in that sense. She said that she can’t trust me. I got a call from the doc and I’m clean, but she told me this morning even if I did come back clean, and even though are marriage is arranged, it still hurt her that I had sex with the girls from the club.”

“So, he asked me first!”

Bucky’s jaw clenched, “you’re not going to cheat on my sister, Wilson.”

Sam held up his hands defensively, “look, I told the boss no. Respectfully. Your sister is oen crazy chick, but she’s the love of my life. I wouldn’t cheat on her.”

“She’d also probably cut your dick off.”

“That too!”

“But you’re single, Buck,” Steve pointed out, “I trust you. I know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt her."

“Well that’s just fucking stupid.”

Steve’s jaw clenched, “excuse me?”

“You want me, to go down on your virginal wife…to what?” Bucky asked, “help her cheat on you in some act of revenge?”

“See you do get it,” he smiled, “Sam said-“

“That is a fucking stupid idea.”

Steve frowned once more, and Sam started laughing.

“I told you he wouldn’t be on board.” Sam laughed.

“Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t say that,” Bucky replied as he bit his lip, “I just said it’s a stupid fucking idea. You're encouraging your inexperienced wife to cheat on you.”

“Why do you think that, Buck?”

“If I’m going down on your wife, I’m not stopping at just that, Steve,” Bucky smirked, “she’ll be begging me to fuck her right in front of you...and if I'm being honest, I don't know if I'll say no.”

“I’m willing to take that bet,” he laughed, “there’s no way she does that. She’s too shy. She-“

“Is going to begging for me by the end of it, Rogers. Not you!”

“H-how could you?”

Steve looked guiltily at his fiancé, “you said that you couldn’t trust me because I cheated. But you just let Buck go down on you. I-“

“You made your third in command go down on me to appease your guilty conscience?” she scolded. Bucky chuckled from between her thighs still and she turned her attention towards him, “and you. You went along with it?”

“Inez, I-“

"James, let me-"

But she stopped speaking when Bucky bit lightly on her inner thigh. Her contested argument turned into a throaty moan.

"I'll let you go...just say it, Inez."

“If you want to see me cheat on you, Rogers, let me up,” she growled, cutting Bucky off. Both men turned to look at one another, surprised at the turn of events, “untie me, Steve…”

“Inez, you’re not serious,” Steve chuckled, clearly amused at how she was bluffing, “you wouldn’t actually do it.”

“Untie me then,” she demanded in a slow, even tone, “that is, if you have the balls to.”

Bucky looked at Steve, and he nodded, both amused and turned on by the situation that was unfolding in front of him. Bucky crawled up and over her body, reaching to untie her hands. But after he got the first hand undone, his eyes widened in shock.

She had reached into his boxers and gripped his firm cock, and was partially sitting up.

Her eyes met his, before she lowered her head and kitten-licked the tip of his cock, while her hand eagerly pumped his already hardened member. His hands suddenly fell away from the restraints at her other hand, and he braced himself on the headboard.

“Fuck!” he hissed, his head falling forward as she started to bob along his length, “Doll. I-you can’t do this to me, baby. I-“

“Shut up, James!” she growled, momentarily releasing his cock with a pop before spitting on the length so there was some lubrication for her hand other than the precum that was dripping from the tip. His eyes rolled back as she suckled at his tip once more and her hands slid down to his balls to massage them.

He moaned.

Steve’s anxiety got the best of him and he stood from his chair, needing to see just what his fiancé was doing to the other man. His stomach turned when he saw her head bobbing, but it quickly turned to excitement when he saw the look in Bucky’s eyes.

Steve dropped to his knees and watched her curiously. His own cock twitched in anticipation as Bucky’s hips bucked, forcing himself even further into her mouth.

He barely processed as his hand reached up and pushed her head forward, making sure that his friend’s cock hit the back of her throat.

And fuck, did she take it like a champ.

Steve reached up and finished undoing the last restraint on her hand, and with a harsh shove, she pushed Bucky backwards.

Steve raced towards her, kissing her eagerly. She moaned into the kiss and bit down lightly on his bottom lip.

“I’m going to put a baby in you tonight!” he promised.

“Untie me!” she growled, breaking the kiss.

Steve raced yet again, this time to her ankles to undo the restraints.

When she was free, she sat up and straddled Bucky. Steve watched eagerly from the foot of the bed as she locked eyes with him and sank down onto Bucky’s cock, impaling herself on him.

Steve was ready to cum as he watched her sliding through the emotions of losing her virginity.

The obvious pain of fitting something that sized into her tight, unused cunt.

The pain as it turned to pleasure when she rolled her hips, circling them.

The pleasure as it filled her; his warmth taking control as the two of them found a rhythm.

Bucky’s hand reached up and she pulled off the latex glove that it feel like skin. She let the robotic hand slip into her mouth and she sucked on the thumb. Bucky growled as his hips bucked, his cock thrusting into her, needing to match her pace.

Her back arched as she rode him, her eyes still locked with Steves.

“Kiss him!”

Steve felt his throat going dry at her command, “Wh-what?”

He watched as Bucky’s hand slid down the column of her throat and to her breasts so that he could massage them, “James…kiss Steve!”

Bucky looked up at his friend and boss, their eyes meeting.

The two of them had always felt something as young boys, but both of them had remembered the first time they’d kissed when they were younger.

Both of their parents had beaten them until they were unconscious.

“I-I can’t!” Steve said nervously.

“Kiss him!” she demanded again. Steve looked down at Bucky, who was lost in his own pleasure. He was torn between kissing him or ignoring the demand, when he felt Bucky’s flesh hand gripping him at the base of his neck, and pulling him to his lips in a feverish kiss.

Inez moaned as she felt Bucky’s cock exploding inside of her, creating a sense of warmth that started in her lower belly and flooded throughout the rest of her.

"That's it," she cooed, cumming all over the other man's cock, "fuck that's so sexy."

"Inez-"

“Fuck...I need to feel you now, Steve. Put a baby in me, Steve!” she demanded when Bucky broke the kiss to moan as he came, “fuck…b-both of you, put a baby in me.”

Chapter 11

Tag List: @teambarnes72, @prokey16, @lohnes16, @shellybellysstuff, @cynic-spirit

#deal with the devil #marvel #marvel au #steve rogers #the avengers #captain america #bucky barnes #bucky #chris evans characters #sebastian stan characters #mob au #mafia au

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tokuxsenshi · 1 year ago

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Sentai Body Swap Episodes rank

Okay so I finally done I watched all the body swap episodes. My favorite trope in all media so im an expert so this is the true ranking of them anyone else opinon is WRONG. (Also sorry so bad at words)

King-Ohger Episode 28. Shuffle kings

this THIS RIGHT HERE is a MASTER PIECE OF BODY SWAP EPISODES full team no voice swaps and FULL of chaos. I love everything about it. I love that Gira Jeremy Hymeno and Kaguragi learned a lesson and Yanma and Rita just want to kill eachother. 100/10 episode ART in its purist form.

2. GOGO V Episode 37. The Beauty is a Saima Beast!?

I'm honestly very surprised that I loved this episode as much as I do like I don't even remember it from watching Gogo I remember the season being very serious but honestly forgot how funny it could be. I love that this monster didnt even plan to do body swap and him going on the marriage interveiw and acting all weird but the fact he did that in Tsugumi body and the parents didnt react make me think shes just like that normally. Tsugumi is such a girl boss as well true QUEEN. 10/10 episode

3. Magiranger Episode 39. Inverse Brother and Sister and Episode 40. The Gorgon's Garden

Honestly though this was gonna be my number 1 when I started this episode was one my favorites when I watched Magiranger (despite forgoring its a 2 parter) though RIP to Houka 15 man harem. And Kai sick burning his sister. this some great mid 2000s sentai. though it being a 2 parter kinda un imporant it could been done in one so the episode be counted as 1 and together their a 10/10

4. Gokaiger Episode 27. An Unusual Gokai Change.

This another one I forgor but its a great episode and choosing Doc an Luca for it was perfect. some great sentai body swap shannies in it with doc running around from guys who think want to attack luka and being scared to hurt her body pure boi. 10/10 love Gokai so much

5. Go-Onger Episode 12. Sosuke Banki!?

I just love Go on its one my favorite seasons and this episode some the best of how wacky this season is. even with a voice swap I actually genially love this episode. and the fact the monster couldnt even spend 10 mintunes with the team because their just to insane that they couldnt even tell that Sosuke was switched. only one bad thing its set before miu so for no miu I have to give it - 100 points so its a -90/10

6. Abaranger Episode 27. AbaRed is AbareBlue

Another favorite season and this episode is not a low point honestly love that most of it just Yukito trying to be a dad and failing like dont let this man take care of kids again. like I think the only thing that bring this episode down is the voice swap again. 10/10 episode

7. Lupat Episode 16.Because You're A Friend

Another BANGER. Choosing Touma to be the body swap for this as AMAZING dont think the comedy could been better with anyone else. and the fact the Patoranger saw the monster in Touma body and basically though he some kind of play boy peek comedy. and the way they trick the monster to switch back really good. 10/10

8.Zenkaiger Episode 32. kai! Sakasama Gets Angry! Is That a Monkey?

I want to start with that the sub I watched the name the epiosde was freaky friday or is it monkey monday and like THAT WHAT IT SHOULD BE! this episode pretty alright I like Kaito running around Tojitendo Palace and completely failing at pretending to be stacy loud boy in quite boy body peek comedy. also love we get t see Flint do the Twokaizer dance even if its a body swap. 10/10 Episode

9. Dekaranger Episode 19. Fake Blue

Alright this where my real opinion shine. I LOVE Dekarangr its one my top 10 seasons BUT this episode where it was good... WAS SO BORING compared to what I was watching like I like the epiosde but for what I was making thi slist for its just not that good. 6/10

10. Toqger Episode. 21. The Runaway Bride

Another season I love but this episode so MEH. like honestly this did not have to have the boys body swap it just seemed really unessary and didnt really effect anything. The Gritta stuff was really sweet though I always felt bad for her in the show she deserved better. 5/10

11. Kyoryuger Episode 37. Revenge! The Ghost Deboth Army

Honestly this episode so boring I could barely pay attention like this one 100% did NOT need to be a body swap epiosode like did that even effect anything. 4/10

12. Fiveman Episode 36. Super Twin Strategy

I wont really reveiw this one like I did watch it and its alright but I've never seen Fiveman so I feel like maybe when I do eventually watch it i'll have an actual opinon ?/10

13. Kiramager Episode 19. Partner

I'll start with saying the Juru and Fire stuff this episode ADORABLE I love that... but I CAN NEVER purely enjoy this episode because MACH IN IT IS FUCKING DIGUSTING. like the fact whoever wrote this thogh that was comedy A SHAME makes sense the same guy who wrote episode 11 of Lupat the worse epiosde of ANY sentai I hate this episode it makes me so uncomfortable even thinkig about it. fuck mach. -1000000000000000000000000000/10

an now here at the end I'll talk about my FAVORITE swap episode and episode in general that I just couldnt rank with this since I dont 100% think it counts but I love it so we talking about it.

Shinkenger Episode 27, Switched Lives

I LOVE this episode its so funny and crazy. like taking the switch body trope but with furniture is so good. and the fact Genta turned into sushi and was almost eaten actually turned into an epiosde where he couldnt morph because he was to scared is so funny. and also Ryuunosuke the show punching bag of course gotta turn into little piss baby statue since thats what he is. this episode just great like honestly this one I feel like you can watch without even seeing the rest of shinkenger (Though why would you its the BEST SEASON) and the fact its a Chaiki and Kotaha episode just makes it even better. 10000000000000/10

#super sentai #kingohger #gogo v #magiranger #gokaiger #go onger #abaranger #lupinranger vs patranger #lupat #zenkaiger #dekaranger #toqger #kyoryuger #fiveman #kiramager #shinkenger

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drpoisonoaky · 1 year ago

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Whoa she has fallen deep

They realize how deep Katara has fallen for Azula. Because they simp for each other a lot.

Suki.

Suki needs to vent with someone. She loves her job, truly but sometimes…So when she saw Katara sitting there she knew she could help her. Katara is a great listener.

Even though it was weird she wasn’t looking at her at all. “I feel the new girls didn’t have discipline.”

“Aha”

“Okay that sounds like she is answering in automatic and what she is looking at” As she followed Katara’s gaze she saw Azula and Ty lee talking. “Maybe it’s a coincidence”

Seeing Ty Lee there only reminded her why she was mad with the girls. “They only want to learn chi-blocking. And yes being able to chi-block is helpful but you have to train every day.”

“Absolutely”

“She’s definitely answering in automatic but let’s check just in case”

“Where are they going to learn to fight mongoose dragons with their bare hands?”

“Right” Suki was astonished, Katara was really that disconnected. “Or how to fly.”

“Yep” Suki didn’t even know what else said to her. “Whoa she has fallen deep”

“Absolutely” replied Katara without any question by Suki.

“I had enough,” Suki thought. “TY LEE, AZULA COME HERE.” as she yelled that Katara broke her trance.

“At your service boss” said Ty Lee as soon as she and Azula came close, while she made a military salute.

“What do you want?” Azula replied slightly annoyed.

“I want to have a conversation with Katara but she can’t. She only looks at you and answers in an auto pilot.”

As she heard Suki Katara blushed “Hey, that's not true. I-”

“Oh now she can say non affirmation sentences.” At least she wasn't mad with her girls anymore.

“Don’t blame her, I'm gorgeous.” declared Azula smirking.

“Kyoshi have mercy.”

Sokka.

Azula and Zuko were training for a while, well Azula was playing with Zuko because she already trained today and Zuko got along with it.

Sokka knows nothing about firebending, but he knows he needs her sister’s help. The same sister who only looks at those without even noticing him.

“Katara'' No reponse. “Maybe she didn’t hear me”

“Katara?” Nothing.

“Earth calling Katara” Nope.

Sokka looked at her closer. “Let’s taste the water’s”

“I think I’m going to kill a bunch of kids just for fun.” And still, no response. Sokka was starting to worry but then, as Zuko hit the floor loudly, he realized she was focused on what Azula was doing “Whoa she has fallen deep”

So he knew he had to bring the big guns.

“AUCH WHAT WAS THAT FOR??”

“My old buddy never fails,” said Sokka after kissing his boomerang. “Stop looking at her, clean your droll and help me to move these boxes.”

“I wasn’t looking-… I was trying-…I WAS DROOLING.” Katara said, completely blushed.

“Your girlfriend lies way better.”

Toph.

Toph sensed Azula as soon as she entered the room, but what she sensed the most was the backflip Katara’s heart did.

“Sugar Queen, I think you’re having a heart attack.”

“What? No. I’m cool, totally chill.”

“Why are you talking like your brother?” questioned Toph.

“I do not sound like Sokka”

On the opposite side of the room Sokka was chatting with Zuko and Azula.

“But I said to him “No bro, I’m cool, totally chill” and he believed it.” Call it perfect timing.

“I am blind not deaf.” As soon as she said that, Katara started to defend herself, as if Toph said anything to attack her. She was only worried.

“Well your “abilities” must be failing because I’m perfect.”

“What is wrong with her”

Toph didn’t sense Azula approaching.

“Of course you are perfect”

“Oh Hey- Hi- What’s up?” replied Katara blushing and like she had forgotten how to speak.

“Is she really that bad? She was fine 5 seconds before Azula…” As she realized this Toph started to smile mischievously.

“Are you plotting something against me?” Ask Azula joking.

“WHAT NO” Katara said quickly and loudly.

So Toph decided to play a little bit once she knew her friend wasn't going to die “Her sweetness here was doubting my “abilities”.”

Azula tilted her head while looking at Katara “And you said I am the weird one.”

“Anyways I was talking to Zuzu and Sokka and they are making me go to the theater today so you are coming with me.”

“It’s not optional, and we have to wear something nice.” added Azula quickly. After that she got close to Katara and kissed her cheek quickly. Toph senses how Katara’s heart gives a full gymnastic performance “Whoa she has fallen deep” thought Toph.

“I don’t get a kiss?” Toph asks Azula knowing fully well that won’t happen.

“You should be even asking for one without taking a bath first.”

“I girl have to try.”

After that Azula was out of the picture. Leaving a speechless Katara.

“Well at least I know why you are suffering a heart attack.”

“I am no-”

“Don’t even try.”

Zuko

Zuko was having a cup of tea with Azula and Katara in the gardens. Because it was a great day and Zuko needed advice.

“And I know I am more approachable than the other Fire Lords, but I like to walk without being stopped all of the time. Mai doesn’t want to walk with me anywhere.” he stopped his rambling and looked at her sister “Are you even listening to me?”

Azula was with her eyes closed enjoying the sun while Zuko spoke. She actually was paying attention but the sun felt great.

“Of course I am.” said Azula without opening her eyes or moving.

“So?”

“Don’t stop with anyone anymore. Challenge some of them to Agni Kai.”

Zuko looks annoyed at her not knowing if she really believes that or she simply wants to make fun of him.

So instead of picking a fight he decided to get a second opinion.

“Katara?”

Katara has been looking mesmerized at Azula enjoying the sun like she was the only thing that matters. But as Zuko asks her directly she knows she has to answer something.

“I am Katara.” Even after talking as if her brain didn’t work anymore at all she didn’t look away

Zuko stared at her blankly. “Whoa she has fallen deep”.

“Great, your pity party broke my girlfriend.” complained Azula while she stopped to enjoy the sun and look at Zuko.

But in that moment, before Zuko could reply, they heard a loud “NO” from Katara when she saw Azula move from her previous position.

Knowing that he wouldn’t get the help he needed and being a little bit angry at these two, Zuko woke up to leave.

“Geez, I get it. I ask Aang. I don’t know why I even ask you two. One is mean and one is drooling over the mean one.” He looked at them narrowing his eyes and left.

“Were you drooling?” said Azula smirking.

“I’m breaking up with you.” replied Katara, staring at her and pouting.

“Sure but first let’s keep enjoying the sun for a while”

Aang

When Aang asked Azula to teach him lightbending he knew it would be weird. But at the moment she saw Katara sitting near watching them, he confirmed it.

“You know when I asked you to teach me lightbending I didn’t visualize the audience.”

Azula was finishing her arm wraps, almost ready to train and without looking at him said “It’s just Katara. She asked me to be here. Maybe she didn’t trust us with lightning. The last time we gave her a lot of work.”

“Only Azula could describe like that killing me with lightning”

“She also was my waterbender teacher, now I have double pressure”

Azula was already done when he look at him “It’s just Katara”

“Yeah I know. But-”

“Is it because I’m dating her?” Ask Azula, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean yeah but more in- no- just- Agh.”

“So for you it is weird that your ex-girlfriend, who still is your friend and now my girlfriend, is watching us training together when I killed you and she brought you back to life?” said Azula looking at Katara. As a response Katara gave them a thumbs up clearly not hearing what they were talking.

“It isn’t for you?”

Azula looked at Aang for a second and shrugged

“I have to deal with hallucinations of both of my parents. This is a walk in the park compared to that.” Aang stared at her, surprised that she talked about that with him.

“Plus if you have lived in an Iceberg for a century you can deal with a bit of awkwardness. “ she added after that. Then she started to walk to the center of the training facility.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I usually am. Let’s start.”

Azula turned out to be a good teacher and after a while he could create a little lightning.

“LOOK SIFU AZULA IS A LITTLE SPARK.” It was little and weak he made it.

Azula looked at him with a little smile. Aang was happy and his happiness was contagious.

“If I was Ozai I would make you increase that until it wasn’t embarrassing to look at, even though it probably breaks you today. But I am not. So we shall continue tomorrow?”

Aang looked at her slightly worried, “I can’t fathom what that man did to her…Wait, has she asked him to continue tomorrow?”

“It would be my honor sifu Azula”

As soon as Aang was done with her bow Katara appeared as she was in a hurry. “Maybe she’s going to scold me”

“Hey Kata-” but when Aang looked at her he realized she never intended to talk to him. “Is she angry?”

The good thing is Azula looked just as confused as him. But before he can ask her what’s wrong she starts to speak looking at Aang.

“So are you done? You are done. Good. Nice flame Aang.”

“Did she just say nice flame? We don’t…what was she looking at?!” Aang was more confused at every moment.

Then Katara looked at Azula and the rambling started.

“Azula, you were great.. The best. Who would have thought you trying to help makes you look so h- makes you a great individual…makes you-”

Azula looked confused at first but then she was smirking.

“Whoa she has fallen deep” Aang thought, looking at Katara when she stopped “speaking” and only stared at Azula .

“Azula, let's go now.”

“Of course as a great individual it is my duty to help. See you tomorrow, Avatar.” Then they disappear from the Avatar line of sight.

“Well at least I know how to produce a little lightning.”

Ty lee

Ty Lee was walking around the palace going to see Suki. When she stopped and saw Azula was training. She was an ass sometimes but her fire was something beautiful. If it wasn’t against you obviously.

“Oh hey are you looking for Suki?” Katara was leaning against a pillar. “She probably was watching Azula,” concluded Ty Lee.

“Yes, well I know where she is, so I was going to” Ty Lee stopped herself when she saw a big blue flame surrounding Azula creating a circle.

“Even after all these years, watching her training is astonishing” said Ty Lee watching Azula, then she turned to Katara “It is crazy because I have seen her millions of times. For some time it was like a routine”.

Katara looked at her with a weird look. So Ty Lee thought “Shit I make it weird”

“Not that I want to watch her like that anymore. It is just a memory. I mean her bending is still beautif-” As Ty Lee kept talking and Katara’s face was even weirder. “Okay maybe I should just shut up. Is it awkward? Of course it is I mean we dated and we have so good memorie- Nope I’m not talking anymore ”

“Agni please help me”

“Oh no Ty Lee is fine, it’s not awkward, quite the opposite. You know Azula, I love to hear more stories about her from an external source plus you two are friends, well you are my friend too. I mean not that clos-”

“Well at least she also is rambling. Is that part of Azula’s type?”

As if she was invoked by Ty Lee’s thoughts, Azula appears next to her.

“So now I am a show? Maybe I should join the circus” she had a playful smile on her face.

“So I would get the chance to burn your safety net?” Honestly that was water under the bridge but teasing Azula is funny. Well, when she isn’t in a killer mood.

“I would never put one there at the first place, that’s for cowards”

As they started to bicker Katara only was staring at Azula with that expression. Ty Lee still hasn’t figured out what that gaze means until.

“She was looking at her as she was the best thing in the world, so that’s why she gave me that look she wasn’t jealous she was proud” So when Azula turned back to Katara, Ty Lee paid attention to Katara's gaze and only could think “Whoa she has fallen deep”.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #azula #katara #fire siblings #azutara #kazula #sokka #suki #ty lee #past tyzula #toph #zuko #aang

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